#heh deer park water

[okaywolf]

Shale comes in with the train.

This one's kinda a love letter.

This here is chapter 17 of You&&, the sequel to Sometimes The Mountain Buries You. I'm still working on getting all my fiction here on tumblr, but in the meantime you can read Sometimes The Mountain Buries You, and You&& on patreon (free).

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Shale comes in with the train. She smells like the train's acrid grease and friction'd steel hanging low in late-Autumn rain. She comes bearing news of who's moved where, of deaths, overdoses, disappearances into the woods, police violence, kids' birthdays, new bands formed, current bands broken up, old bands reunited.

She's come for the winter, like the winters before. Living with Basin while the snow would make travel more miserable than she cares to deal with these days. A solid place to land and stay, to rest and rely on, a home for travelling loved ones—for Shale. For Shale, who spends Spring through Autumn in all the places the people Basin call home live, Basin is home.

Not this cabin. Basin is home.

When Basin makes tea, Shale drinks from Basin's favourite mug.

When Basin is upset, Shale kisses the tattoos on Basin's palms, and then their forehead, and then their lips. She presses her cheek to the top of Basin's head when they hug, when they sit on the couch together, when Shale looks over Basin's shoulder.

Shale's long torso has Basin's regular shirts fit short on her and Basin's long-fitting shirts fit regular. When she plays guitar, she leans over the wide deep resonating wooden box with room to spare in the crook of her body. She reminds you of salamanders and weasels.

She laughs like she's already out of breath. Like her vocal cords are straining to make sound. She laughs a lot, a form of punctuation; periods "hahaa", commas "hah", semicolons "heh".

When she isn't laughing, she's pressing her tongue against the holes in her teeth. Pushing against sharp edge enamel.

When she kisses Basin, she presses her tongue against the holes in their teeth.

She more than helps with cooking too much on Monday evenings—planning and taking on the bulk of prep and cooking. Her skills are beyond that of the line cook and dishwasher jobs she's picked up on occasion; she's cooked for dozens in city parks and in camp villages, she knows how to skin a deer and tan its hide. Every time she turns on the kitchen tap, she thinks about cousins living with boil water advisories.

Her deft handling of cabinet doors earns frequent jabs from the cabinet door latches. She swears with each one.

She swears as much as she laughs.

Regardless of the cold she works on the cabin, sits on the porch, sits in the back corner of the yard. She shovels snow off the roof and brings the wood in; she shovels snow off the roof and brings the wood in for anyone who needs it on the strip of cabins. When she's done working up a sweat, her bra hangs on the clothesline strung in front of the wood burning stove.

She has a frenetic energy calmed by Basin, by playing guitar, by Juniper purring in her lap. It's put to use shovelling snow and bringing wood in, cleaning the cabin and tightening eclectically acquired chairs' legs, and lifting Basin's spirits after an emotionally exhausting workday of awkward and averse coworkers and decent townspeople.

When her hands skate across Basin's sides, the stretch marks truncated by surgical scars remind her of fish gills.

When she stabs ink into Basin's skin, she thinks of all the places distant in distance and time she's given Basin tattoos.

When Basin tells her about you, she holds Basin in her arms. Thinks only of Basin's troubles until after Basin's done telling her them, until Basin brings up Shale's troubles.

There are things you know from before you existed. Things told to you that were already in your head when you found yourself in the woods, fully formed and otherwise without thought or memory until elk and bird and insect first formed your body and mind. Things like being dangerous, being lethal. Things like how consuming the things that shouldn't be here requires a careful balance of being in and out of their heads. Things like collecting spruce tips and berries.

Things like the fire—the fire like shifting twig and needle, like rotating rocks, like dyeing the wind—that will solve Shale's troubles.

When you tell Basin that you already know how to mend Shale's troubles, Basin troubles.

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[william-t-sickofyourshit]

While the castle was a real nerd-fest, and just a fascinating, historical site, the grounds around it were of more romantic-type of vibe. The park was gorgeous, with the surrounding woods, and the beautiful lake, the view of the castle… wow, so pretty. Walking there, wandering around while holding hands, made William feel like a character is a classing Jane Austen romance novel. And the deer were just so cute! Sweet, delicate animals, just gracefully trotting around. Magical.

“Oh yesss, I want a picture with a deer!” William agreed right away, once Sebastian asked. He quickly made his way towards a group of deer that were chilling on the grass, in a pleasant shade that a large oak tree provided. They were very much used to tourists walking among them, so they weren’t spooked. They allowed William to come fairly close, so that he could pose nicely, with the tranquil and soft background of resting animals.

Once this photo was taken, William of course offered to take one for Sebastian too, and then, of course, a selfie. That was a must. They used both the camera, and their phones for that, so that they could send those cute, lovey-dovey selfies to Isa right away. Heh, yes, they loved to brag.

But yes, Sebastian was right – they could use some rest then too. It was a very warm, summer say, and they were walking around and sightseeing for hours now. So, they headed towards a lovely part of the garden with flower beds and benches, and sat there to take a breath. They fetched their water bottles from their backpacks, stretched out their legs, and relaxed in a cooling shade.

For I have sinned...

The principal cleared his throat, eyes scanning the notes that he had wrote down before this meeting. It already lasted an hour, and the teachers gathered in the faculty room were becoming restless and bored. But indeed there were some things to discuss, with the concert that the senior class was supposed to perform at the end of the semester, and with recent staff changes. 

William glanced down at his watch, sighing softly. His class was starting in 15 minutes, so at least, whether the meeting will be done soon or not, he will get to excuse himself. He looked out of the window, his mind wandering. Principal’s voice turned into white noise in the background. It was a pleasant day, late summer. But William was looking forward to a slightly cooler weather. Wearing all black could really be bothersome at times. 

“And lastly, I am pleased to announce that we have finally found replacement for the violin teacher. Dear Mr Tanaka, may he rest in peace, was with us for so many years that I’ve been concerned we won’t be able to find someone as good as to fill this position.” the principal spoke. “But Mr… Michaelis, was highly recommended to me, and he indeed has impressive references. He will be starting this week, so please welcome him warmly once he will arrive. Ah yes… about that. He will arrive today at noon, I need someone to pick him up from the train station and bring over for the tour around the school. Any volunteers?” 

William was barely listening, and definitely not paying much attention. He glanced at his watch again, and saw that it was time to leave, as his class was about to start. He raised his hand to excuse himself, and little did he know, he just volunteered.

“Father William! Excellent!” the principal exclaimed. “Just don’t be late, the train arrives at noon.”

“Train…?” William questioned, raising his brow. He had a feeling he was missing something…

***

Right after the meeting, William had to run for the class, so he had little time to clarify what exactly he had volunteered for. He was a piano teacher in this Music Academy, but also he served as a priest in local church. Well respected, and rather liked. So when he later found out it was about the new violin teacher, he didn’t refuse. Who, other than himself, would be a better choice to introduce a newcome to their community?

So even though he raised his hand by accident, he accepted this fate.

After classes, at noon, William took a taxi and drove to the train station, to pick up their new teacher. Wearing black trousers, and a black shirt with a thin tie, was absolutely dreadful in this weather, so William quickly found shelter under the roof of the station platform, that provided some shade.

The train had just arrived. William had no idea how Mr Michaelis looked like, but he figured he will just look for someone carrying a violin case with them. 

He was in for a bit surprise.

@crazyvik97

[jolienjoyswriting]

The Dearest Deer in Ontario (ft. Maple), Ch. I

Chapter 1 of "The Dearest Deer in Ontario," a fan fiction story.

Joseph becomes lost in the woods of Canada and bumps into an brand new friend along the way.

Word count: 3,603 – Character count: 20,624 Drafted: October 4th, 2022 Revised: October 6th, 2022 –

The same as always: I see a cute character, Joseph dates said cute character.  What more need I say? I mean, okay, I'd been watching Jay for a while and took a liking to their stuff.  But, I mean, how frequently is my story blurb just like… "I likes ya and I wants ya, so I wrote a story"?  All too frequently, I'm afraid… I'm terribly predictable…

Maple and related characters and concepts created by © jayrnski Joseph Lithius and related characters and concepts created by and © Jo Li

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    What’s up, gang?  It’s time for another tale of me getting myself into trouble.

    For those who are new here, my name is Joseph Lithius.  I’m a male, American red fox… but the “red” parts of me are actually olive-gold.  Blame my parents, heh heh.  I’m pretty average all around – average weight, average height – and I have very poor eyesight without my glasses.  Why am I telling you all this?  Well, like I said… if it’s your first time here, you’re not gonna know who the heck I am, so…

    Anyway, it was fall, I think, pushing toward winter.  Normally, I would have been lazing about in my apartment somewhere in the midwestern United States.  However, something had gotten into me, that particular season, and I decided to do some traveling.  I headed north to Canada.  Yeah, I don’t know why, either.  I guess I just wanted to get away.     In any case, I’d been spending a lot of time in Ontario, seeing the sights of the cities there.  Mississauga, Kingston, Ottawa, Windsor…  London.  Yes, there’s a “London” in Ontario.  Toronto is there, too.  I love Toronto!  However, I was getting tired of the concrete jungles.  It was time for me to see one of the biggest attractions that Ontario had to offer – the thing that I recall from the song about “the little blackfly”.  That’s right…  I decided to go pathfinding up to North Ontario-io, to North Ontario!  Specifically, I wanted to roam through the boreal forest!

    “What’s a boreal forest?”  I… don’t really know.  I just know the woodlands of Canada are freaking massive and that there was a lot to see before I even got to the woods.      Beautiful fields of grass and wheat, growing wild and waving in the wind…  Small bodies of water – swamps or sumps, maybe?  Distant mountains and hills…  Uh…  Well, okay, that was about it, actually.  S-still, it was very pretty!  But, again, that wasn’t the focus.

    I parked my rental car near a natural path leading into a wooded area, eager to get lost in the trees.  As I headed out, though, I noticed something – or rather, I felt something.  It kind of felt like I was being watched…     Must be the wildlife, I told myself.     Pausing, I pulled out my smartphone and opened a navigational map.  I just wanted to set a waypoint before I did any exploring – ya know, just in case I got lost for real.  I also took note of where my car was – which, according to my compass app and the map app, was parked to the southwest of the forest I’d planned to explore.  With that sorted, I grabbed my backpack of supplies and headed into the woods.

    As one might expect from a heavily forested area, it was dense with trees.  Very beautiful trees!  I’m not sure what kind of trees, though.  Some were prickly like pines.  Some had fluffy leaves.  And of course, there were more than a few plain ol’ maple trees.  The leaves were already turning red, on those.  It was quite lovely.

    I walked farther and farther into the forest, pausing to take a drink when I got thirsty.  The more I headed in, the darker it seemed to get.  Understandable, considering the forest canopy was so darn thick.  That didn’t stop me from walking onward, though.  I was having fun and had no intention of stopping my journey!

    So, I’m not sure how much time had passed since I’d entered the woods.  Well, wait…  That’s a lie.  I was regularly checking my watch.  If I remember right, I think I was about two hours in when I felt my stomach rumble.  Looking around, I noticed a fallen tree near a creek and decided to sit down for lunch.  And by “lunch”… I mean a granola bar.     “This’ll have to do…” I said, cursing my lack of preparation.  I really could’ve done with a sandwich or something…     I sat on the log, looking around as I chewed on a granola bar.  The place was very serene, what with the softly-flowing water and slight breeze.  Plus, my snack bar had oats and a little bit of carob in it, which made for an enjoyable– hey, don’t judge.  Carob is pretty good!  But yeah, I was enjoying myself, looking around and taking in the pretty scenery, when all of a sudden…     “Hiya!”     “Glarghph–!!”     I fell off the log, startled.

    I thought I heard a “bleat” of some kind as I tumbled.  When I looked up, I noticed a bright, cheerful face looking back at me.     “O-oops…?”     It was the face of… a caribou?     “Uh…”     That was about all I had to say as I looked them over.

    From what I could tell, the caribou was a small thing.  They had creamy, orange fur with a tan-colored face and inner ears.  They also had brown ear-tips and little horns with two points each.  Curiously, they were dressed rather nicely for wandering in the woods.  They had a blue, button-up, “buffalo plaid” shirt with a matching, cyan necktie… and a pleated skirt that was navy in color.  I couldn’t see anything else of note, though they did seem to be blushing at me and smiling nervously, staying tilted overhead and watching me.  Why?  No idea.

    “Are you okay, Fluffy Fox?” they asked in a cute, feminine voice.     “Yeah?” I said, taking another bite of my granola bar as I lay there, nonplussed.     “Oh, good…!”     My head tilted.  The caribou… girl?  I’m gonna say she was a girl.  The caribou girl carefully knelt before brushing her skirt down.  She was still smiling and blushing.     “I’m ‘Maple’!” she energetically told me.  “I’m a Canadian reindeer!”     “Uh… okay?”     “What’s your name, Friend Fox?”     She seemed pretty happy to meet me.  I wasn’t exactly unhappy, myself…  She seemed nice enough.     “I’m Joseph,” I told her.     “Nice to meet you!”

    She offered her hand.  I gave her an odd look…  We weren’t really at a good angle for shaking hands…     “Oh, that…  W-wait, no, I’ve got this!”     Something she noted pretty quickly, I might add.

    I watched Maple crawl over to my side.  Wait, why was she crawling?  She could’ve just stood…  Regardless, once she was sitting directly to my left, she smiled and offered her hand, again.  I accepted, giving it a shake.  Her mouth opened and she made a happy sort of noise.  I smiled, too.

    “So, what brings you out to the woods?” she asked after our handshake.     “Boredom, mostly,” I told her.  When she cocked her head, I clarified, “I wanted to get away from the city, so I headed up here to the north.”     Her head went the other way.  “‘North’?”     “Yeah.”  I nodded, taking another bite of my granola bar.  “I live in the United States.”     “You’re on vacation?”     “Yep.”     “Well, then… welcome to Canada, eh?”     The girl covered her mouth and merrily giggled.  She was being silly.     “Surprisingly,” I told her, “not many people seem to talk like that, up here.”     “Have you met any French Canadians, yet?”     What a random question.     “If I have,” I answered, “I’m not aware.”     She nodded a couple of times.  There were no follow-up questions, oddly.

    “What about you, Maple?”     “Eeehh…?!”     Her face warmed, her blush brightening.  I guess I’d taken her by surprise.     “Wh-wh-what about me, new friend…?” she asked, getting worked up.  She was still smiling, but she seemed way more excited than necessary, wiggling and everything…     “I was just wondering what brings you out into the woods,” I said.     “O-oh…!”     She calmed down, her smile relaxing.     “I like the woods!” she told me.     I watched as she pulled her legs up and hugged them.  I kept my focus on her face.

    “It’s nice to come out here and get away from the crazy stuff…” she continued in a softer voice.  “Don’t have to worry about traffic or taxes out here, and the air’s actually breathable!”     I definitely agreed with that.  The air was really clean in the Canadian wilderness.     “I wonder if they sell Canadian air in the gift shops, up here…?” I asked.     She blinked at me… then she laughed out loud.     “Oh, Friend Joseph…”     And then…     “You’re so funny!”     She leaned down and… started rubbing her horns against my arm.

    I blushed a little, watching Maple’s horns rub against my jacket’s sleeve.  I blushed a little harder when she settled lower and started using those horns on my head.  It was only when she started touching me with her hands that I decided to say something.     “Maple?”     She bleated, slightly, before jerking back, sitting up, and giving me a wide-eyed stare.     “Y-y-y-yes, friend…?”     There was a mix of surprise and worry on her smiling face… like she knew what she was doing was “weird”.     “What’s with the horn rubs?  Do caribou normally rub their horns against stuff?”     Her face relaxed before she gave a confused look.     “I’m a reindeer, fluffy fox!” she explained, her smile returning.  “I told you, right?”     “S-sorry.”     “It’s okay!”  She giggled, smiling brighter.  “I forget things, too!”     I chuckled, my tail wagging slightly.  And that…     “F… fluffy…”     Seemed to get her attention.

    I blushed again.  The girl was suddenly cuddling my tail, petting it with one hand and rubbing her horns into my fur.  When I sighed, she stopped… but she didn’t pull away from my tail.  Instead, she just looked at me.  Inquisitively.     “Proceed.”     Her face lit up as I gave my go-ahead.     As I let her snuggle, nuzzle, and rub her face and horns all over my tail, I chuckled to myself.  I was pretty sure I’d be smelling my deer for a week after, but it was okay.  She was just so friendly and… honestly?  I kind of liked the attention.  It wasn’t often I had such a cute critter being so cuddly with me.

    “So, the horn thing…”

    It had been about five minutes since she began.  I’d finished my granola bar and washed it down with some terrible-tasting bottled water.  When I spoke, again, she stopped everything and stared at me with a small, curious bleat.

    “Do all reindeer rub their horns on things?” I repeated from before.     “I dunno!” she answered before giving my tail another horn rub.     “Really?”     “Really!” she giggled.     “Oh.”     There was a pause, during which she rubbed her face into my tail, again.     “Are you normally this affectionate with people?” was my next question.     Again, she paused.  However…     “Is… is it okay?”     She looked worried.  She was also blushing more, again.

    “You’re fine,” I told her with a smile.  “Just don’t be surprised if I start returning some–”     The girl made another loud “reindeer” noise… before pouncing on me!     “I’d love that!” she exclaimed, pinning me to the ground as she snuggled in.  She was rubbing her face against my chest and I could feel her horns poking my head.     “You… would?”     “Oh, yes!” she confirmed.  “I love getting hugs and pets and pats from nice people!”     I blushed pretty hard when I heard that.     “Um… well… if you let me up…”     Once again, she bleated in surprise and jerked back like she’d done something wrong.     “I-I-I’m sorry, Joseph!” she cried.  “P-please, don’t be upset with me!”     I finally sat up and got myself into a better position.  Not long after, she uttered another surprised bleat… then she snuggled into me.  I’d pulled her into a hug.

    “O-oh, Friend Joseph…” she cooed, basking in the attention I was giving her.     I chuckled, stroking her plush head-fur.  “You’re so cute, Maple…”     She made the most precious sort of noise… almost like a cross between a squeak and a purr.  A second after, she got a bit closer, sort of scooting into my lap.     “Maple?”     She was smiling a bright, cheerful smile, her pretty, green eyes staring into my gold ones.     “Soft friend…” she whispered, her eyes closing and face content.     I blushed again as she threw her arms around my shoulders and hugged me tightly.  I smiled, then returned the hug.  When she started rubbing her cheek against mine, I reciprocated.  When I started purring, though… she pulled back and gave me an odd look.     “What was that?” she asked, looking me up and down.     “What was what?” I asked, my arms still on her sides.     “I heard a funny sound!” she cried.  “Did you make that funny, rumbly sound?”     “What?  Oh, you mean this?”     I purred again… and her face lit up.     “Kitty…!!”     And she practically tackled me against the log, knocking the wind out of me.

    I panted, catching my breath as she rubbed her face against my chest and horns against my face for a second time.  Despite her horns nearly scratching my glasses, I was still smiling.  Maple was ridiculously adorable.  I was happy to have her there and even happier she was letting me share in her affections.  She was such a sweet thing…

    Eventually, Maple sat back up and started rubbing faces with me, again.  I was more than happy to return the favor.  Her arms clung to my shoulders and my hands stroked her head and back.  When my hand went a little lower and brushed against her tail… she tensed up.  Without a word, she scooted even closer in and rubbed her cheek against my ear.  Was… she telling me to keep going?  I tried stroking her little, wiggling tail… but she gave a sudden, loud bleat and scramble off of me, hiding behind the log.     “Maple?”     Only to pop back up and hug me from behind.

    “Oh, gosh…” she nervously whispered.  “I… no one really…”     Once again, she rubbed faces with me.     “Fr-Friend Joseph, I… I’m sorry about that!” she cried.  “I thought: ‘fair’s fair!’ and figured I’d let you play with my tail for a while!  B-but…”     She shivered.     “Oh, gosh…  Oh, golly gosh…”     I blushed when, suddenly, she kissed my cheek.     “Fluffy Joseph, I… I’m so sorry if I scared you!  I guess… my tail… is…”     She didn’t seem too eager to finish that thought.     “Off-limits?” I guessed.     She gave a squeaky noise before hugging me even tighter.  Honestly… she was kind of… making it hard to breathe…?     “I-I-I n-never said…!” she skittishly began.     “I-it’s okay, Maple!” I wheezed.  “I-if you don’t want your tail touched–”     “N-no, I… I want you to touch my tail!”     She let go of me and I gasped.  I looked behind me, then, and noticed… Maple was covering her mouth with one hand and blushing harder than ever.     “I’m… sorry?” I pressed, raising an eyebrow.     “I…”  She hesitated, looking away.  “I want you to touch my tail…”     “You want me to touch your tail?”     She nodded, her confidence slowly coming back.     “P-please!  I want you to touch my tail!” she repeated, her voice back to being chipper.  “Um… i-if you want to!”     “Um… okay.”  I nodded.  “Do you want me to get up, or–?”     She made another deer noise before hopping over the log and back into my lap.  Oof.  Glad she was so light…  Just like before, she cuddled in and hugged me – though her arms were under mine and her head was pressed against my chest.  One of her little horns was poking my throat, too…

    “You can… please, t-touch my tail… i-if you want to?”     Once again, she made that offer.  I noticed that her fluffy little tail was flicking like crazy, too.  I ducked away from the horn against my throat and took a soft breath.     “You sure?”     She nodded with excitement.     “G-go nuts!” she encouraged with a giggle.  “T-touch my tail!”     “If you’re sure…”     “Touch it, please!” she added with more confidence.     “Okay…”

    Slowly, one of my brown-furred hands reached around.  I stroked my way down her soft shirt, pausing as I found her lower back.  She was practically vibrating and her tail was going this way and that.  I hesitated for a bit longer… then I ran my hand over the top of her tail.     “Auuhhh…”     The sound she made as I stroked her tail drew a heavy, hard blush from me.  It wasn’t a squeak… wasn’t a bleat…  It was a way-too-soft, breathy sort of sigh… right in my ear.

    After the initial touch, Maple settled, tucking her head back under my chin.  She seemed ready for more, but I was extremely skittish about doing any more petting of that particular part of her anatomy.  I was by no means prepared for that little reindeer to make more noises like… like the one she’d made, the first time!  Still… I… I was kind of curious.  So… I gave her tail another testing stroke…     “Mmm…”     And she melted against me with a soft sigh.

    I relaxed – as did she – as I continued to gently pet her tail.  I guess that first noise had been a fluke… probably caused by a mix of overexcitement and nervous energy.  It seemed like Maple was just enjoying the gentle motions of an affectionate tail-petting… you know, instead of… like… “really enjoying it”.  Y-yeah… that… that’s where my mind went.  Sorry.     In any case, after about a minute of letting me paw at her tail, she started back in with cuddles and nuzzles, brushing her face against my chest and her horns against my muzzle.  Once or twice, she sat up and rubbed her nose against my face, which made me smile and blush a little.  She stayed sitting up when I started nuzzling back, clearly enjoying the attention.  When I purred again, though, she sat back down and put her ear against my rumbling chest.  I took the opportunity to stroke her other ear and she sighed again.

    “Oh, Friend Joseph…”     The girl leaned back after a while, looking at me with relaxed eyes and a soft smile.  Her face was a little red, like always, and she looked much calmer than before.     “You made me all loosey-goosey!”     At least until she made herself giggle, again.     “This is nice…” she whispered, settling into me.  “I’m glad I got lost, now…”     “Yeah…” I whispered back… before I jolted.  “Wait, what?”     She cuddled me a little.  “Mm… I said this is nice…”     “No, the other thing.”     The reindeer giggled… then she sighed.     “I get lost in the woods aaall the time, Fluffy Joseph,” she admitted like it was nothing important.  “I practically live here!  I usually find my way back when I smell something yummy… like fresh-cooked pancakes with lots of syrup…!”     I felt her clutch my jacket.  I also heard her stomach rumble.     “I haven’t eaten in daaays…”     I blanched.  “You’re starving…?!”     “What?!”     She jerked back, wide-eyed.     “What, no!”  She rapidly shook her head.  “I’m not starving!  I just haven’t had any pancakes in a few days!”     She bounced on my lap, making me grunt and blush.     “I want some pancakes sooo bad!” was the next thing she told me.  “They’re sooo good!”     “W-well… um… if you want…?”     Her eyes lit up like a Christmas tree.  Clearly, I had said the magic words.

    “You’ll give me pancakes?!” she cried, starry-eyed and wiggling.     “I-I mean… if you want?”     She inhaled.  But then, oddly…     “Actually…”     She calmed back down.  Then, she settled back down.     “Can we stay like this for a little longer?  P-please?”     Her arms slid around my middle and she tucked her head under my chin – being careful of her horns, thankfully.  I gently draped my arms down her back in response and she happily sighed, cuddling closer.     “Thank you…”

    I breathed long, slow breaths as the two of us sat in that wooded way.  We could hear birds softly chirping and the quiet babbling of the creek near us…  We could hear the rustling of the leaves on the trees and the shifting of the grass as the breeze found its way into the area…  I could hear her soft breath as she stayed contently curled against my body and I’m sure she could hear my heart quietly bumping out its slow rhythm.  Everything just felt so… mellow.  So, of course… I had to screw it up by being me.

    Maple jolted slightly, whipping back and looking at me in surprise.  I’d only nuzzled her horns, but I guess she wasn’t expecting it.     “Friend…?” she whispered.     “Sorry…” I whispered back.  “I guess I’m still–”     I blushed, opening my sleepy eyes wider.     “Bop!”     Maple had brought her hand up and lightly popped me on the nose.  So…     “Boop.”     I gave her nose a poke.  That got her goin’.     “You’re so silly!” she giggled, covering her mouth.  “A silly, fluffy fox friend!”     “That’s me, alright,” I agreed with a chuckle.  “Silly as can be.”     She hummed, offering a warm smile.     “More nuzzle-wuzzles?  If you want?” she offered.     “I’d love to.”     Once again, her face lit up.  She was quick to curl back into me from there.  Then, I wasted no time in nuzzling that cute li’l reindeer with all my might.

    My nose ran around her horns – which were covered in a soft fuzz, I noticed – then I nuzzled the back of one of her cute little ears.  She made the cutest murmurs before she started nuzzling me, in return.  Soon enough, we ended up brushing our cheeks together, again.  I added lots of hugs and strokes, and she returned the favor.  When I purred, she growled a happy deer noise.  When I bumped my nose into hers, she tapped her hand against my cheek.  When our cheeks rubbed together one more time, she squirmed and snuggled me a little tighter.  Then, when I gave her a little nibble…     “Ack…!”     She froze.

[fakeloveaskblog]

Hey hey Emile!

I'm a ghost, nice to meet you, don't ask questions.

Now we got introduction out of the way.

REMY DOESN'T WANT TO STOP GOING TO THERAPY. HIS BOYFRIEND CANCELLED BEHIND HIS BACK.

HE ISN'T DOING GOOD AT ALL RIGHT NOW.

Try to tell Janus and Remus and do something about it yourself.

Also drink water.

Bye bye!

~Ghost

(No idea if he can help but he is a therapist so...)

(mentions of U!virgil)

Emile nearly fell off his chair when he heard you. His mouth hung agape in shock when you said you were a ghost. For a moment he thought he was hallucinating but then his logic kicked in.

"Oh my gosh I'm in a rendition of the christmas carol!! Finally! Wait oh no have I been mean???"

When he heard the next part his shocked expression changed into worry. He thought about what to say for a long time before speaking.

".....Mx. Ghost....while I am very happy you decided to speak to me about this you have to understand I only just now met you. I am sure you have the best intentions but believing you without question would be quite stupid of me. Let me just...."

He pulled out his phone and searched up Virgil's number. 'honorary emo godson 💜'. 3 signals went by before he answered.

"Hi Em. Anything wrong? Did your back finally break?" Virgil greeted, a bit out of breathe.

"Not yet. Are you- Are you exercising?? It sounds like it. It's a miracle!"

"How fucking dare you think I would willingly move ever. I'm just out-" Virgil couldn't say he had walked away from an argument with Remy "-Out walking on my way to refill Rem's pain meds. You know how it is"

"That's good. I hope they feel better soon" Emile leant back in his seat and sighed "I'm just calling to ask about....okay this might sound silly but a ghost visited my office and told me you had cancelled Remy's sessions without their permission-"

"Those ghost fuckers!?" Virgil interrupted 'They've been haunting my apartment for ages!! and not in the good way!! I swear Emi they're trying to destroy my life! Don't trust anything they say. Not a word! It's all lies. Like yeah Remy is a bit out of it so I will recheck if they still wanna change therapists once they feel better but I promise I asked them"

Emile hesitated ".....Sure...if you say so....heh guess you have to call the ghostbusters"

"Yeah. Sorry I gotta go. Meds y'know"

Virgil didn't give him a chance to say goodbye before hanging up. Emil leaned back in his chair and pinched the bridge of his nose.

He wrote down a few notes in his file about Remy before standing up. He quickly went through the hallway and left the building. He looked around the parking lot before half jogging over to the park near the clinic. His shoulders slumped in relief when he saw Remus and Janus sitting on a nearby bench.

"You can not imagine how happy I am seeing you two" Emile sighed.

Remus and Janus both kinda looked like actual wrecks as they looked over to him. "I'm sorry Picani. I only accept dilfs" Remus replied.

"No uhm what. No. A...a ghost came into my office" Picani nearly stopped out of shock of when neither of the guys seemingly reacted to the mention of a ghost "And it told me Virgil had...maybe....gone behind Remy's back to take away their access to therapy, and as a therapist that obviously worries me"

Janus expression turned serious. They met eyes with Picani "Virgil is a paranoid bastard who insults and yells at them every chance he gets. Of course he wouldn't ask them. He won't even let them talk to us"

"I wouldn't uhm say That. They just need some relationship counseling or something" Remus added. Janus held back the urge to put their hand over his mouth.

Picani looked like a deer caught in headlights "oh dear. Can I sit down?”

“Oh uhm sure” Janus scooted aside. 

The therapist practically collapsed next to them. He leant his forehead against his palm. There was a dizzy look in his eyes. He was quiet for a while.

“You have to understand that I have known Virgil since he was about this small” He motioned to around his knees “Even though I wish I could be objective in everything I do- I- I simply can not be. I can not quite believe Virgil would treat another person like you are implying he does. I wish I could say my doubt was only because of the lack of evidence and the fact that Remy has never said anything about him being a toxic partner, though them not saying anything isn’t absolute evidence against it”

Janus just looked at him with a very confused look. They didn’t get how Anyone could think of Virgil as anything but an asshole.

“No offense Emile, but it doesn’t sound like a good choice to treat the partner of someone you know personally in the first place” They replied.

“Oh- Oh I know. It just happened. It was a complicated time. Right after the accident and- Janus They were just teens. Obviously when Virgil came to me with big desperate puppy eyes asking me to help them I couldn’t say no. I doubt Remy would have trusted any adult Virgil didn’t vow for. Ugh hindsight really is 20/20″

“....” Janus still didn’t know what ‘the accident’ was. He didn’t really know much about Remy’s background aside from vague hints really “...It..It does indeed sound complicated”

Picani sighed “But me not being able to see Virgil as That kind of person doesn’t mean I won’t at least do something to help in case what you are saying is true”

He took out a pen and a small notebook from the pocket on his sweater. He pushed up his glasses to look serious as he scribbled onto the paper. Janus leaned closer to look. Remus had zoned out and was looking at some ducks fighting over by the pond.

“Okay here is a comprehensive list of some things that might help. Numbers to emergency workers, names of local abuse shelters, cheap hotels in case they have to suddenly leave, Some other nearby therapists, crisis numbers. Threw in the number to the suicide hotline to be sure”

He ripped off the page and handed it to Janus. They looked at it a bit dumbfounded for a second before getting out a “Uhm Thank you”

“No problem. And remember, I do also have the number to Virgil’s parents”

Picani stood up and quickly checked his watch. He had his next session soon.

“Well I have to go. And Janus?”

“Yes?”

“I will see you next week alright. I will not let you miss out on your sessions two weeks in a row. And please keep me updated on...about Remy’s health”

“I promise I will”

Picani started to walk away but hurriedly added one last thing “Oh and also drink water!!”

[my-happy-little-bean]

The Road Trip - Epilogue

pairings: logicality (platonic or romantic, depending on how you view it) words: 3990 chapter warnings:  talks about upcoming death, vomiting (brief & non descriptive), passing out, swearing, alcohol consumption chapter summary: patton finds out and then, finds logan. (or, the beginning of the end.)

a/n - this is the first chapter of my big bang fic! do not let the title fool you, heh. i hope you enjoy <3

[read on ao3]

[masterlist]

*credit to art in this chapter goes to @lemonyellowlogic​​ ✨*

---

Patton Morgan closed the door behind him  and took one long, deep breath. 

That wasn’t so bad , he thought as he pushed up his glasses. 

And he was pretty much right. It wasn’t that bad, especially given what he’s heard from all his friends about this place. He would always listen to their stories the day after their 21st birthdays with a racing heart, watching as they broke down in either happy tears or devastated ones. In both cases, they made it seem like their Doctors made a whole, cruel show of it.

But all they did was sit him down, looked through his files, and told him. 

And he was going to have to know eventually. 

Everyone has to know eventually. 

Patton gritted his teeth as if trying to force a smile. It wasn’t bad. None of this is bad.

He walked down the hallway slowly. He walked past doors that were cracked slightly open, with quiet sobs and angry murmurs floating out of them. He heard a door open next to him and before he knew it, two people bolted past him. They knocked into Patton’s shoulders trying to chase each other. 

Lots of crying. Patton frowned, almost resentfully; pretty typical for this place.

He stared ahead, watching as the two people made it down the hall and turned the corner. He assumed they left the Clinic judging by the loud, hollow slam of the front door. 

He then looked to the door that had opened and caught a glimpse of a man in a white coat, sitting still at his desk and looking at papers on a clipboard. 

The man suddenly stood up, taking off his coat and grabbing a brown, leather messenger bag as he walked towards the door. Startled, Patton took a step forward, moving out of sight and staring straight ahead as if he were a deer trapped in headlights.

As he heard the man walk out of the room and leave behind him, he felt as if there was a ringing in his ear; which was when he realized that he couldn’t quite feel his hands. 

Patton looked down at them, almost quizzically. 

They were clenched up, his nails digging into his palms. He held them up in front of him and concentrated–  really concentrated– on them. 

They didn’t even feel like they were his. 

And then, he felt a hand on his shoulder. 

"Mr. Morgan?” Patton blinked and turned around to see his Doctor standing behind him. He cleared his throat. 

“Um– yes. Hi.” His voice sounded so distant. Even his own heartbeat sounded closer; in fact, it was all he could really hear.

The Doctor’s sympathetic smile made his blood run cold.

“You dropped your wallet in my office.” Patton looked down to see that yes, she was offering him his wallet. He didn’t even realize its absence in his pocket. 

“Oh.” He took it slowly, not looking at her. (Everything suddenly felt so slow; so sluggish.) “Er, thank you.” 

“Of course.” Her smile didn’t seem as sympathetic anymore; it just felt forced, like she was playing some character.

“You know, Mr. Morgan, I understand that the news you received was...well, not ideal.”

Patton didn’t even feel like he had the energy to stop her from talking. Instead, he just numbly nodded as she began to lead him down the hall. Each step felt like he was staggering forward into a hot, dry desert.

“You know,” she continued, “there are a lot of people going through the exact same experience as you.” 

I’m sure there is, Doctor, Patton thought resentfully. That’s such good news.

He was squeezing his wallet now. He tried his best to stuff it and his shaky, shaky hands back in his pocket.

“I can recommend a multitude of resources that can help you in this difficult time. There’s a group meeting next Sunday, they accept new members every month. Not to mention the possibility of becoming a Doctor, giving you the gift of more–”

“That’s quite alright,” Patton said, reaching the end of the hall. He didn’t have the heart to remind her that he didn’t even have until Sunday. And he didn’t have the energy to scream at her for the last suggestion. 

A gift. He clenched his jaw. He didn’t need to make new time for himself. He just wanted to convince them that there had to be some time– any time – left in the world for him.

The Doctor kept looking at him as if looking at a lost puppy. That was when Patton suddenly became too aware that he was just standing there, speaking loudly and staring into space, in front of an entire waiting room of people who all probably had it worse.

And they were all staring at him.

He then looked at the Doctor. Her hair was tied back in a neat, brown ponytail; and she wore a small button on her white coat that said “Ask me about the Procedure!”; as if smugly dangling the idea in front of him.

She looked too perfect ; a mere shell of a human, frozen in time,

and so full of life.

Then, a bitter thought: You’re never going to go through this.

“Have a good day, Doctor,” he gritted out, the air growing thin enough that it escaped through his teeth. He didn’t even turn to acknowledge her when she morbidly said “Take care” as he walked away. Part of him wanted to, though — make a scene, maybe throw a chair at her. 

I can do things like that now , he thought, because what does it matter, anyway?

And, as if a switch flickered in his brain, he stumbled out of the clinic and towards the nearest trash can he could see to throw up.

He felt himself sweat and shake, holding onto its cold, metal edge as if it was the last real thing he was ever going to hold. 

When he felt like he was done, he made his way towards the parking lot, hoping to get to the bus station on the other side without being sick again. 

But it was no use. His vision was suddenly blurry, and he felt as if the pavement was slowly being flipped upside down. 

Patton went to the car closest to him, and leaned against it, doubling over and holding onto his stomach. He could feel himself breathing loudly, as if there wasn’t any air in the world left for him and–

 --- 

Patton woke up in the passenger seat of a car he didn’t own. 

His first instinct was to scream, but he felt a cold hand on his shoulder and his entire body froze. He could feel his breathing start to pick up again. 

“You’re awake,” a new voice floated into his ears, which were still receiving any and all noise as faded murmurs. 

“I imagine that the situation you find yourself in is rather daunting and confusing,” the voice continued, “but I would ask that you try your best to remain calm.”

Patton blinked, trying to clear the lines from his vision. He pushed his glasses up and turned his head to see a man wearing glasses as well; though his were darker, more square than his light brown ones. His hair was dark brown and slick back, other than the strands that fell across the side of his face. He wore a black polo shirt, with a navy blue tie rested on top of it.

“Who…” He coughed, his own voice sounding so foreign in his mouth. The man frowned, fishing through his bag before pulling out a water bottle. He offered it up to him. 

“I will answer your questions as you drink.” 

Patton opened his mouth to protest — “I have water,” he would say, or “I’m allergic” (Something stupid like that) — but the man just shook his head. 

“It is important to stay hydrated after all; especially after passing out.” 

A beat of silence. Patton didn’t even have the energy to be shocked because yeah, that would make a lot of sense. 

Instead, he just nodded and took the bottle. He nervously fumbled with the cap as the man began to talk. 

“My name is Logan.” He cleared his throat. “Logan Fray. You passed out in front of my car and I didn’t want to keep you outside in the cold so I brought you into my car.”

“Kind of an odd choice of action,” Patton mumbled, taking a long sip of water and wincing. What kind of response was that?

Logan, to his surprise, chuckled. 

“I suppose it is,” he hummed. “I apologize if I scared you, I only intended to take care of you.”

Patton sighed, lowering the bottle and looking at Logan meekly.

“I’m sorry too,” he said quietly. “I...I really appreciate your help,” he chuckled, hoping to lighten things up. “It’s sort of like you’re my hero or something, heh.”

A pause. Logan just nodded. “It’s what I do.” 

Patton took another sip of water and stared straight ahead in the uncomfortable silence. He saw the Clinic sign through Logan’s car window, its bold font proudly flashing down at him in the sky. 

“Did you receive bad news?” he heard Logan suddenly ask.

Patton felt his lip begin to tremble as he closed the water bottle and put it in the cup holder between him and Logan. He kept looking at the sign, nervous tears beginning to roll down his cheeks. 

He heard Logan sigh. 

“My...my deepest condolences.” He sounded so sincere ; which was admittedly a nice change of pace from the cold demeanour inside the clinic. 

“It’s okay,” he looked up at Logan, giving him a tearful laugh. “You have to know eventually, right?”

Logan looked at him with some kind of indescribable remorse. 

“...I suppose you’re right.” 

They sit in silence again, staring at the damned building. 

“Could I drop you off somewhere?” Logan finally asked. Patton shrugged. It didn’t really matter; he took a bus, after all. Then again, he didn’t really want to sit in a bus full of strangers, surrounded by their full and hopeful lives. He felt awful just thinking about it. And then, he felt more awful thinking about what he’d tell his mum when he got home…

“I don’t know,” Patton murmured. He looked at Logan. “Where are you off to?”

“Um, I was supposed to go to McCather’s,” he replied with a frown. “It’s a bar fairly close-by.”

“Supposed to?” 

“I was going to meet with a friend,” Logan explained, “but I cancelled after finding you.”

Oh. Patton tried not to sputter out a teary, pathetic apology. 

When Patton didn’t say anything, Logan just nodded; moving his stare down to his lap as an awkward silence filled the car. Patton snuck a glance at him and noticed that he was tapping on his thigh, seemingly deep in thought.

“Can I be your friend?” Patton suddenly blurted out. 

The tapping stopped. Logan raised an eyebrow, looking at him with a confused expression. Patton shook his head. 

“Sorry, that was weird, heh.” He cleared his throat, smiling nervously. “Let me start over. My name is Patton. And I know I just threw up then passed out in front of your car, but I...I promise I’m much cooler than that, heh.”

Logan chuckled, still not looking up at him.

“And now that... that is out of the way,” Patton continued, “I’d like to be your friend and go with you. To, um, the bar. If...if that’s okay.”

A pause. Logan finally looked up at Patton, and his gaze felt more intense than its absence. He was looking at Patton as if he was studying him. 

Logan then cleared his throat.

“Usually, I would be entirely against this,” he finally said, but was already putting on his seatbelt and starting the car. 

“Me too,” Patton replied, and leaned his head on the window as the car began to move. He smiled sadly. “Today’s just different, I guess.”

 --- 

Patton had always remembered bars to be bright and loud; with neon lights hanging on red, brick walls and people cheering every two seconds for something. 

But for whatever reason, this one didn’t live up to the expectation. Maybe it was because everyone looked like they all received the same news. 

“A week.” Logan winced as Patton took another sip of his drink. “That’s...awful.”

“It is .” Patton closed his eyes at the bitter taste. He set the glass down and stared at it. “It’s such a stupid system. And– and it’s such a stupid place. The Clinic–” he hiccuped– “is stupid .”

Logan just nodded solemnly, sipping his drink until it was done before raising his hand to catch the bartender’s attention. Patton sighed, shaking his head. 

“I really shouldn’t have any more,” he said. 

“That’s fine,” Logan hummed. When the bartender came over, he said, “One more glass for me, then the bill.”

He began to take out his wallet and Patton’s eyes grew wide. 

“You don’t have to–”

“Nonsense. My treat.” A pause. “For a friend.”

Patton broke into a small smile, which soon turned into a long sigh as he slumped over on the bar counter, his chin resting on his folded arms. 

“You know,” Patton sniffled, “I– I didn’t even get to go everywh’re.”

“There are not many people who do, you know. Statistics and all.”

“ Still .” Patton buried his face in his arms, his voice muffled as he continued. “Now I can’t go anywhere .”

“Oh, come now,” Logan scoffed. “You can go anywhere you want. I know it may not seem like it, but you have all the time to do that now. I am sure that there are services for predicaments like this — if you wanted to go somewhere, they would most likely assist you with that.”

“I’m not some Make-A-Wish kid, Logan.”

“And what I’m saying is that you can be.” 

Patton giggled as he made a move to finish his drink. The bartender came back with Logan’s drink and the bill underneath it.

As he fished through his wallet, he asked, “What would you wish for?”

“What?”

“Right now,” Logan repeated, “what would you wish for?”

The question, for some reason, made Patton giggle again. He forgot how giggly he got when he was tipsy. 

But when Logan looked at him with a certain kind of knowing he couldn’t deflect, Patton sighed. He looked down at the counter surface that was so close to his nose before lifting his head. 

“The Grand Canyon,” he declared. Logan chuckled. 

“You want...the Grand Canyon?”

“I– I wanna visit it.” He looked at Logan. “My dad tried to take us– he tried three summers in a row, actually– but...well, it never really panned out the way he wanted it to.”

He smiled, more sure of himself. “I wanna go to the Grand Canyon and– and yell something at it.”

“And what would that be?”

Patton slumped back down on the counter. “No one’ll ever find out.”

Logan rolled his eyes slightly as he counted the bills in his wallet. 

“You know–” Patton hiccuped loudly– “maybe I should’a just done the Procedure.”

In the corner of his eye, he watched as Logan froze. 

“It sounds like such a grand adventure, doesn’t it? Being a Doctor?” The words came out as a sad drawl. If Patton wanted to be bitter, he clearly wasn’t capable of it. “I’d have unlimited time to just rain on everyone’s parades; pitter-patter, pitter– ”

“Patton–”

“And then!” he exclaimed loudly. “Then I could go anywhere I want. I mean, if they’re even allowed to leave the Clinic.” He scoffed. “But hey! It’s the ‘ultimate sacrifice’ for unlimited time, isn’t it?”

Logan said nothing in response, but Patton could see his face scrunch up in thought as he put bills on the counter next to his now-empty glass. 

“Whatcha thinkin’?” he mumbled. Even quieter, he added, “Was I too much?”

Logan shook his head with a small frown.

“I’m...deliberating.” 

“Deliverin’ what?”

Logan gave him a tired laugh then, after a bit of silence, turned to face Patton.

“I want to tell you something,” he said. “Two things.” 

Patton perked up from his seat and stared at him. 

“Number one,” Logan smiled. “I want to take you to the Grand Canyon.” 

Patton became sober in almost a second.

“You...you what?”

“It’s a two day trip,” he continued. “You’ll be back before you know it, then you can spend your last few days with people you care about.”

“ Logan .” Patton laughed, almost nervously. “You’re...you’re not serious about this, are you?” 

“I’m always serious,” Logan said, seriously. He pointed down at his shirt. “Necktie.”

“Logan, you’re drunk.” 

“Evidently, you are as well,” he replied pointedly. 

“Logan!” Another giggle. Patton almost wanted to fall right against him as he swatted at him playfully. “Shut up, shut up, shut up… ”

“We can take my car,” Logan was practically beaming now. “We can exchange numbers and I’ll pick you up tomorrow. We can split gas and the cost of the motel, or we can just sleep in my car– I don’t mind.” 

“ Logan …”

“It just makes sense , Patton.” Logan suddenly took his hands into his own. Patton blushed even more; they were so warm . 

“Say no if you want to,” Logan murmured, staring down at their hands. “But I think– I think we should do it. I know it is illogical to believe in fate of any sorts but fuck. This could be our last leap of faith– our last big... thing .”

Patton frowned. “ Our? ”

A beat of silence. 

“That is, um, the other thing,” Logan finally said, his voice now barely above a whisper. 

“I have a week too.”

 ---

Patton stared at the ceiling of his empty apartment, lying still on his bed. For some reason, he was antsy; as if every second that passed was a wasted one. 

So many seconds then, he couldn’t help but think. There’s been so many seconds…

He sighed, sitting up and squinting at the rising sun that peeked through his window. He rubbed his eyes, reaching over for his glasses on his bedside table. 

As he did, he felt the surface of the table buzz. He frowned, slipping his glasses on and looking at the source of the noise. 

His phone. His heart nearly sunk at the realization and he softly muttered, “Shit.”

That’s why his head was hurting then, he assumed. Parts of the night returned to him. He remembered giggling on a barstool, he grimaced at the memory of him humouring the idea of even considering becoming a Doctor, and his heart nearly stopped as he recalled exchanging numbers with a complete stranger who offered to take him to the Grand flippin’ Canyon…

Patton picked up his phone carefully, as if it would set him on fire upon contact. He turned it on and winced at how bright it was. 

Logan | Today | 7:03 am

Dear Patton, 

I hope you did not find that I was too forward last night. 

“That’s an understatement,” he muttered under his breath.

I am messaging you to apologize for my actions. While I was sincere in my sentiment, it was incredibly foolish to suggest such a concept so persistently and without much regard for how you felt. I do not know why I was so insistent about travelling with someone I barely know, but...well, there is no more time for logic, is there?

Regardless, I hope you are feeling better this morning, and I wish you the best with the time you have left. 

Sincerely, Logan.

He stared at the text for a few more seconds, almost perplexed, before closing his phone and looking out his window once more. 

“The time you have left.”

Patton sat there for a while, watching the sun rise in the slowly-awakening sky. Across from him was another apartment building, its windows filled with the silhouettes of people moving around their homes.

They all moved with purpose ; like they all had somewhere to go. 

Then, Patton looked down at his phone. 

For whatever reason, his mind couldn’t stop going back to the conversation with Logan. He never really stopped to think about the odds of bumping into someone with the same fate as him. It made him wonder how many people were given the same sentence by the Clinic. It was almost ridiculous. 

The whole situation was ridiculous, actually. Patton couldn’t help but let out a quiet laugh; a stranger wanted to go to the Grand Canyon with him…

His mind suddenly drifted to the Clinic; to the grey walls and the grey chair the Doctor sat him on as she went through his files. He remembered her cold stare as she lifted her eyes to her computer screen, the green digits almost burning into his head. He thought about the way her eyes never met his as she told him.

A week. 

They only gave him a week.

Without even thinking, he opened his phone and pressed ‘ call’ as soon as he saw Logan’s name. 

“...Hello?”

Patton inhaled sharply upon hearing him. His voice was quiet and muffled, and Patton could still hear the sleep in it.

“Um, hi.” He straightened his back. “It’s...Patton.”

A pause. 

“Oh. Hello, Patton. Did you receive my texts?”

“Uh, yeah. Yeah, I did.” 

“I see.” Patton could feel himself grow stiffer; why was this suddenly so hard? He had drinks with the guy, after all. 

“Was there something wrong?” Logan continued. “Or is there something you need further clarification on?”

“No!” He sounded too loud, all of the sudden. He softly continued, “No, no there wasn’t. I...I appreciate you letting me know.” 

“Of course.”

A beat of silence. Patton shifted slightly in his seat. 

“Um, Logan?” Patton suddenly asked, his voice small. 

“Yes?” Logan replied readily, as if he was just as anxious for noise as Patton was. Patton sighed.

“Last night–” Patton tried to focus on the window and the rising sun; move with purpose – “I...I don’t know if I really understand what you were offering.”

“Oh.” Logan sounded so echoey, so distant. “In all honesty, I do not know either. It is as simple and absurd as the offer of a preposterous road trip with a stranger.”

Patton paused. The way Logan phrased it made the whole situation...well, preposterous, for lack of a better word.

And then, Patton winced. What was he doing? He should be going home . He should be on a train back to his mum’s so he could tell her that he failed to live past 21; and that yeah, he gave it his all, but he didn’t give enough. 

“Patton?” Logan cut through Patton’s thoughts like a knife. “ Are you still there?”

His voice was filled with so much knowing. 

Patton squeezed his eyes shut, trying to tug at the longing in his chest.

I can do this, he thought. 

Then, he decided: I can give something– anything– for once. 

To me.

“Do you really have a week?” he finally asked.

Patton heard some shuffling on the other side, before he heard Logan speak. 

"...I do.” 

Patton’s breath hitched. His hand was shaking and he didn’t even know why. 

“I apologize if that information made you...uncomfortable,” Logan continued slowly. He heard him clear his throat. “My intention was not to guilt trip you into a decision you did not want to make–”

“No, no,” Patton said firmly. He felt himself inhale sharply, as if gathering the words that sat in his throat in one place on his tongue. “Gosh, you know what? You...you’re right.”

“About?”

Patton held his breath as he took a leap of faith.

“There’s really no time for logic now,” Patton finally said with a small smile, exhaling in relief as he did, “is there?”

---

next chapter >

[autumn-in-phandom]

‘Veiled in a secluded valley, this National Trust property promises to surprise and captivate with its vast Cistercian abbey ruins, Georgian water garden, a medieval deer park, Elizabethan Hall and Gothic church.

From humble beginnings this magnificent abbey grew to be wealthy and powerful. In Porter’s Lodge uncover the story of the devout monks who founded the abbey in search of a simpler life, hear a tale or two on a free guided tour and see the mill created by these skilful masters of machinery.

Studley Royal Water Garden is an outstanding example of the ‘English’ garden style that swept across Europe during the eighteenth century, and is in fact what makes this magnificent estate a World Heritage Site. Created by father and son John and William Aislabie, the design of this garden is a pre-cursor to the later style which became synonymous with Lancelot ‘Capability’ Brown.

Eye catchers and follies were a common feature within ‘English’ gardens and the Aislabies built many of these. Elegant ponds and cascades entwined with rustic bridges, classical temples and statues enthral today’s visitor just as they would the pleasure-seeking Georgians. There could be no finer eye catcher, however, than the grand ruins of Fountains Abbey.

Open year-round, Fountains Abbey is fantastic for walks and each season brings its own unique delights to see. Watch wildlife awaken in the springtime, catch the colourful wildflowers during summer, enjoy autumnal splendour by floodlight and wrap up warm to see the atmospheric ruins sparkle with frost as winter returns.’

I WANT TO GO TO THE MEDIEVAL DEER PARK!

Beautiful Yorkshire ⛲️ 02.09.19

[chaospenelope]

Between Dreams and Nightmares

His mind seemed trapped in a permanent fog. There was a field of gold blooming all around him. They shined beautifully despite the lack of light. His body felt slightly heavier than normal and each movement was accompanied with a soft clanging of metal. Head stayed down as he walked. He avoided crushing the flowers, gently sprinkling water over them. He didn't remember how long he's been there but he knew they needed it. So many on the verge of wilting and dying. Something ran ahead of him, a swish of wind making the flowers sway. Another quickly followed. He looked up at the cause. Two small children faced away from him, standing in a patch of bare dirt. He recognized them immediately, but they didn't notice him. trying to call their names to get their attention. There was no sound as he opened his mouth. They started to get further away. Feeling desperate he tried to rush to them. A cloth cape warped around him. His body was sluggish, like running trough waist high mud. They were no longer in sight. He fought against his restraints. Struggling to catch up, a deep dread came over him. A stiff wind rustled everything around. He closed his eyes as it blew threw him. Opening them again to see a strange figure before him, showing hints of familiarity, before collapsing into nothing. He gasped as he fell to his knees. The sea of gold decayed into blackness. He began to sob as a strong sadness enveloped him. A presence lurked behind him, reaching out with long claws. He spun around but nothing was there, except for a plain white door that started to open...

Asgore woke up with a start. He sat up with a huff. He looked around the bedroom, realizing he was alone. Everything was still where it had been placed yesterday, photos on the wall, flowers on the nightstand, clothes neatly put away in a closet with the door slightly ajar. He crawled out of bed, stood up, and stretched his back in an arch. He noticed the light seeping through the bottom of the bathroom door. A comforting heat bellowed out as he opened the door. A black bear was stood in front of the large mirror, brushing his fangs. He walked up behind him, putting his hand on the man's back. He threaded his fingers through the long thick fur freshly dried by the hair dryer. He tried to hide his smirk as the bear shuddered. "You know for someone who can conjure fire your hands are really damn cold." Phineas huffed, with a mix of aggravation and amusement. Asgore laughed. He put his arms a him, putting his head on the bear's. "I can't help it, you're so nice and warm." "Mmhm." He padded his hand. "I suppose I can't blame you." He let go and gave a kiss on his head before moving to the tub. He adjusted the shower and took off his undershirt and boxers. The heat was immediate, still not fully recovered from the last use. He hopped in and quickly made use of whatever steam was left. The burden of sleeping in. He sighed as he got out, running a hand through his fur to make sure he rinsed all the soap out, dried off, combed through hair, brushed his teeth. Feeling refreshed and awake he moved back to bedroom to search the closet for some clothes. Pants were a simple choice, it's been warm so jeans or nice tan shorts. A lot of his shirts were button ups, easy for a guy with two tall horns, but the "Mr. Dad guy" shirt was a favorite despite how tricky it was getting it on. Unfortunately he wore that yesterday and got dirt all over it, so he'd have to go with his second choice. He buttoned up the pink, white flower printed shirt as he walked down the hall. Phineas had already started boiling the water. He had dressed in his light brown jeans, a pair of loafers, and a pale orange shirt with a flower pattern similar to his tucked in with a belt. Asgore went to the fridge, picked up some ingredients and started making bacon and eggs for breakfast. "Don't forget we have to pick up the kids a little early today since Toriel and Neda have a meeting with the superintendent." Phineas said as he sat at the table, glancing over the newspaper. "Maybe that's why..." He shook his head. He gave a small laugh. "I did forget." "Why, what? Was it that dream again?" He asked as he looked over at him. "Yea..." He couldn't take his eyes off the sizzling pan. "I'm not sure why it bugs me...It's not like yours." A hand gently rubbed his back. "It doesn't matter whose is worse, what matters is it bothers you." He stood next to him, a bit concerned. "Do you want to talk about it?" He looked at him with a smile. "No, I'm fine... I just don't understand why it's Asriel I see, and Kris...At least, I think it's Kris? Why isn't Penny there, or Nade?" "Well, they do tend to have a little more trouble making friends than Penny and Nade is such an easy going kid he hardly has any problems besides motivation. You're just worried about them more." "That, makes sense...I mean this is the first time since the move and they seem to get along nicely with the kids next door." He flipped the frying pan's contents. "Well, they're talking. It's a start." He admitted, taking the steaming teapot to pour in a couple of cups on the table. "Now that we've all settled I'm hoping they'll have some time to get used to the place." "I think they like it so far." He plated the food and put it on the table. "They are very excited about choosing which room was going to be theirs. They have to share at their mothers'." "It's nice to see you so optimistic again." He smiled. "Well, I," He stopped as their eyes met. He loved their pale orange color, like an old rosa or a leaf in fall. A wisened kindness hiding in them. He put his paw on his as he looked away. His partner chuckled, having to eat breakfast with his free hand. He loved how Asgore still acted like a lovey-dovey teenager. He felt like a passionate flame that kept him light when he needed it most. They finished their breakfast, cleaned up the table, and after a check of the time they went into the dirtier truck to fill out their daily duty. Phineas stepped out of the vehicle and admired the cleaned up shop. It stood on the outskirts of town against a wall of trees. "Nothing like a flower shop to hammer in the ever changing cycle of seasons." "Yeah, each season has it's own beauty..." Keys jingled as he took them out of his pocket to unlock the door. The inside looked clean and tidy. He switched the lights on illuminating hanging garden tools, different bags of soil, a small basket of season or holiday based flags, and various pots and other gardening fixtures. "Looks kinda sad without the dirt everywhere." Phineas laughed to himself. He went to the back door and opened it. "They look like they're ready to bloom." "They're starting to glow already? What colors are they?" He asked excitedly as he rushed over. "All different, two shades of blue, yellow, green-Should we turn the light on?" "Still very faint...keep the light off." He created a flame in his palm as they closed the door. "Get the spray bottle please." Phineas's eyes shifted as they adjusted to the darkness. "Does the water need to have that stuff added to it, or-?" "Just water will be fine." He knelt down next to the tables examining the thin roots that weaved through the soil held in the large container that held all the small buds. He felt the soil to judge how moist it was. "They're expanding but, they need to stay connected...We may have to let them bloom for the first time." "So just a spritz then." He carefully lifted the glass and pulsed a gentle spray on each plant. "Some thirsty bois we have." "Haha, Yes, our thirsty bois." Asgore checked the stems and the petals tightly wrapped up in a small ball. Meticulously going over each one until they were all watered. "Well, that should do it for today." He padded his hands together to extinguish the flame before entering the main room. They turned off the lights and locked the shop back up. "It's lovely out here." Their fur ruffled by a gentle breeze. "Nice day for a walk." He offered his hand. "Care to join me?" "Why not? We have time." He took his hand and they started down the empty street. There was a short trip to the start of a path leading into a wooded area. The trees shaded the wide path as leaves occasionally rustled in the distance. This road was often used by hikers, dog walkers and joggers since it was one of many leading into the local park. It didn't feel like it at the moment, there wasn't another monster or human for miles. Time seemed to stand still for them. It was beautiful. "You think the kids would like to go on a picnic today?" "A great idea. They've been inside putting their rooms together, they're dying to roll around in the grass I'm sure." Asgore laughed as he looked up at the sky. "Yeah, let's hope they don't start throwing dirt at each other again." "Pretty sure they've grown out of that, especially after that incident with the rock...Pretty sure." "It's hard to believe they're already so big..." Asgore stopped, gazing at a tree with white blooms fallen around it. "I know," He watched as the other man walked up to the trunk of the tree. "Could have sworn it was just yesterday Asriel was grabbing my finger with his tiny little paw. Or just a moment ago Kris was crawling under their bed so they can pretend they're sleeping in a cave...And scaring the other children." "-Nade was just a twinkle in your eye and Penny was teething on my hand." He scratched at the brittle bark. "Heh,..." He picked up an acorn, tossing it into the woods. Smirking, he said. "Our cute little trouble makers..." He had his own amused smile. "Mmhm..." He went over to the other side of the tree. "There's a lot of deer in this area." "Really? Wonder why they haven't been in the yard yet." "They probably don't know there's food there now, or, maybe they know you live there." "Ha, ha." The bear faced the path. "I figured, they'd be more scared of you." "Me?" Surprise colored his face. "Well, you are an intimidating figure to the untrained eye." He said as a matter of fact. "You could probably strangle them to death if you wanted to." "I sound so violent." He walked up to the path. "What do I look like to a trained eye?" "Soft husband." He said, holding his hand again. "Aw," He pecked him on the cold nose. "Thanks extra fluffy husband." Their footsteps padded down the soft grass. A twig snapped under their weight. A squirrel ran across their line of sight. It seemed like time was snapping back from standing still. "Is something burning?" He stopped in his tracks. "Burning? I don't smell..." "Never mind...I think someone is having a BBQ." Phineas said as he smelled the air. "A bit early, isn't it?" "Ah, Hm." He took his phone out with his free hand. "Actually, it's around eleven thirty...We've been walking for a while." "Eleven? We have to hurry to the car and pick the kids up." "But-Oh, that's right." He hurried behind in a bit of a half jog. They rushed up to the vehicle and jumped in like they were fleeing an armed assailant. Asgore slumped over the steering wheel, catching his breath before turning the key. The short drive went from the start of a thick wood up a small hill trough the main street of their little town. Small stores lined up each with a character of it's own, except the plain antique shop. There was a nice little cafe with elegant iron furniture set out on a patio, an odd sort of curiosity shop with a bright classic television shaped neon sign complete with rabbit ear antenna, and a refined dance studio to name a few. They turned away before reaching the end. Past the fire station and a collection of apartments there was a neighborhood of various houses. The one they stopped at was a one story with rose bushes surrounding the walls. A manicured path starting down from the stairs of the porch cut the front yard in half, dogwood planted on each side. Phineas and Asgore walked up to the door. The bench swing had a stack of tiles sitting on it, ready to be laid on the path. The doorbell was working again. It's chime muffled from where they stood. There was a silence followed shortly by a rhythm of footsteps on the other side before Neda opened the door. "Sounds pretty great, right?" She casually leaned against the doorframe as they answered. "Yea, it's pleasant, did Toriel pick it out?" Phineas asked as they stepped inside. "Wh-Yes, and I put it in." She said as she moved out the way. "It's got a motion camera too." As she pointed he noticed her phone in her paw. "So you saw us coming." "No, but the notification helped me find my phone so I didn't have to get Tori to call it." Asgore walked further into the house to the sitting room a few steps away. Toriel's chair in the same arrangement it's always been with another seat next to it. There was a rug placed on the wood floor and wardrobe with a tv hiding behind it's doors. Four children were sitting around in seemingly random places. "Dad's here!" Penny jumped up from her spot on the ground and ran up to Asgore, who happily picked her up and held her in his arms. "See mom I told you they weren't gonna be late." "Hey dad." Asriel smiled and greeted him before he picked up the handheld game device she had abandoned and turned it off. "You owe us cookies." Kris sat on her chair, one leg dangling off the side and red horned headband pushing up their bangs. "Yes, I suppose I must eat my words as you said." Toriel walked in from the kitchen with a container in her hands. "These are for your fathers but I'm sure they won't mind sharing...After lunch." The last two words was emphasized as she gave Asgore a side glare. She tucked The container into Penelope's backpack between her sketchbook and games. "After lunch." He repeated with a nod. He used his free hand to take the pack she was now offering. "Is everyone ready to go?" The black bear stepped in and surveyed the room. Kris put their bag on and slid to their feet, walking over to him. Asriel already had his strapped to his back, carefully stuffed full of everything he believed he and his siblings needed. Nade laid on his back with bag set on top of him. He threw a thumbs up to signify how ready he was. "Alright, let's go gang." He watched his youngest son as he lazily sat up. "You have a good time-" The goat woman softly kissed all her children on the forehead. "-And be good." "Yes, mam." "Okay mom." "Sure." They mostly reassured her. They walked out together, Toriel picked up her keys from a bowl next to the door on the way. Neda was the last one out so she locked it. "Wish you could stick around for a while but you know..." "We'll call and talk later." "Yea, talk to ya later." The car doors clicked after everyone was buckled in. Asgore pulled out onto the road again. "So how has your day been so far? Finish with putting your rooms together yet?" "We finished that yesterday. I got a bookshelf built into the wall for my action figures, wish you could have seen them." "We'll just have to do it next weekend when we have our family night." "Yea." "What did you do then?" "The usual, after we had waffles mom made us run around outside before we could watch an hour of tv then we waited for you." Kris looked out the window, watching the buildings go by. "Oh? You play any fun games or did you take that literally?" Phineas kept glancing at the rear view mirror as they conversed. "We ran around the tree until we got too dizzy to stand." They admitted, making the two men smirk in amusement. "How would you kids like to have a nice picnic lunch in the park?" "What are we having?" Asked Nade. "Can we have pizza?" "I knew we should have brought the ball." Asriel muttered. "I don't care as long as we get cookies after." "We're heading home to drop your stuff off and packing a lunch there." "So, tacos then?" "No Nade. We're most likely having sandwiches with potato or macaroni salad." "Oh." He resigned from further questions as a flock of birds out the window grabbed his attention. A few moments of silence as Asriel handed his sister her game. Penny opened it but stopped as she remembered something she wanted to ask. "Dad, did you check on the flowers yet?" "Yes, they're doing great. They even started to glow a little." "Can I see them?" She asked excitedly. "Tomorrow Penny" Asgore said sternly. "You can see them tomorrow, I promise."

The park was bathed in the hot afternoon sun. Phineas breathed in the fresh air. He held his hands on his hips as he looked around, in front of him stretched a long clearing of fresh cut grass. The laughter of the little kids carrying on the wind. They ran around in a thrilling game of tag. The oldest had caught up to Kris, their tag was perhaps too hard a shove. Unfortunately they did not notice their sibling take a hard tumble, hitting their head on the closest tree. "Kris!?" He ran over to check the child and comfort them. "Are you alright? Let me-?!" He stumbled back, seeing the face of a child he did not know. "You're not-" He looked around in a panic. The other children were gone now. "Asriel? Penny! Nade!?" He looked back at the stranger, but they were gone too. He only saw one person. The forest around them growing quiet. He took a few steps forward, a dog started to bark but he couldn't see that either. "Asgore?!" The trees felt like they were bending inward. "Honey, Where-" He felt pain shoot through his body. "I-I can't." Small cracks under his fur and skin as he forcefully shifted. Claws breaking through this fingers, and jaws snapped as fangs grew longer. Drool dripped from his mouth and covered his chest. He fell to the ground, he struggled through the the pain to hold himself up. The grass faded and shortened, becoming stiff and synthetic. His vision blurring as he struggled to get to his feet. "Penny...Asriel, where are you?" He uttered weakly, leaning against a wall as he pushed himself along the dark hall. "Kris!?" He heard a weeping nearby. He hurried to the closest door. "It's okay honey! I'm here!" He pushed the door open, he ran to the bed to his child laying on it. "Oh! Oh my god!" He started to sob, seeing the dark hair matted up with red liquid that trailed from their forehead. He gently picked them up and held them in his arms. "It's gonna be ok, daddy's here." He frantically tried to get to the door, to get help. He had a difficult time, but slowly managed to get down the hall. "I'll get you help, everything will be fine." He froze as he saw his reflection in the glass. His fangs and chest covered in blood... His fell to his knees as he held the child protectively. "I'm so sorry baby, I'm so sorry." He cried and wept. "Please forgive meee. I didn't know!" "Wake up." He turned as a bright light flashed.

Phineas gasped in sharply causing himself to cough. He tried to quiet himself as he regained full consciousness. Sat up and pulled himself to the side of the bed. He ran his fingers through his fur, failing to push back his bangs and looked around. His husband slept silently. He took a moment to admire his calm face, gently brushing aside some of his blonde hair to give him a kiss on the head. Then he stood up and left the room. He traveled through the hall, quietly checking every bedroom. He noticed Kris's was empty. He casually walked over to Asriel's room. He was still in his bed with his Plush of a green dinosaur, but no Kris. Still not too concerned he looked into Penelope's room. Her bed was also empty. He traversed the pitch black room to the closet doors. He opened the doors ever so carefully, revealing the two young children sleeping in a nest of blankets and sheets. He let out a sigh of relief and gently picked them up, taking them to the bed and tucking them in. Then he checked on the last child. Nade snoozing happily, covers kicked off the bed. They were picked back up and placed on him. The larger man was still resting peacefully, his arm had started to wrap around Phineas as he laid back down. He did not drift off to rest, but at least he felt comforted. He felt the children were safe...

[thenixkat]

Animorphs notes 3

Book 3

Narrated by Tobias. Getting all of the white kids out of the first I guess

Tobias forgets the color of his eyes after a few weeks as a bird. But he remembers that he had blond hair and was kinda big.

Tobi has also oly been looking at his bird face head on cause otherwise he’d notice how doofy his face looks

Dan’s not holding that hawk prisoner he’s just got shitty animal husbandry. If that 3 ft by 3 ft cage is the only cage he keeps her in. That could just be a travel cage dude uses for the filming for all the info I have and Tobi has already demonstrated that he over anthropomorphises animals

Also Tobi is gonna get that captive bird fucking killed with this Peta shit.

And he does something very unbirdlike infront of multiple people any of whom could be a controller.

And he nearly gets killed doing this.

Tobias is a dumbass that doesnt consider the consequences of shit.

Tobi she’s a fucking bird and there’s a fucking elephant destroying shit and humans causing a ruckus. She’s startled and startled birds fucking fly u numpty!

Rachel chews Tobias out for being a complete idiot and starting that stunt while on fucking air

Ya know what, Tobi’s descriptions of Rachel are starting to make me uncomfortable. And that plus his insistence of talking to Rachel on her solo mission every 5 secs probably means he has some creepy crush on her

Tobi don’t start on that shit you chose to be in morph far more than was safe, was warned multiple times of the time limit and got yerself stuck. Its not a curse if yer fucking responsible.

Applegate skips on the whole redtails also hunt smaller birds and that’s… weird

Tobi assumes that a human smiling when they see a bird means their jealous. Not that like, the person just fucking likes birds and nature and shit and is either going to or going home from a job where they spent hours in a bland cubicle looking at just a computer so hey a cool bird, they must be jelly that they cant fly.

I don’t like Tobias.

Why do the yeerk ships have clocking that hides them in ultraviolet as well when humans can’t see into that range? Wouldn’t it make sense just to cloak along the visible spectrum and save power and also cleaning bills from hitting so many birds and bugs?

Marco is valid.

Also betting that that released hawk is gonna be ded in the next few days.

Also why did Jake not get any info from Cassie on potentially what to feed Tobias? Why isn’t Tobias just fucking living at Cassie’s barn? She could claim that he’s some tame hawk that someone gave to her b/c they couldn’t afford to take care of him any more

Tobias why didn’t you bring up the thing in the sky to the whole group?

Is this brooding angst?

Also if Tobias has been eating random leftovers from Jake for weeks he should be sick as fuck.

Why didn’t anyone call Child Protective Services for Tobias’ case too?

Dead geese

Wolves were recently released in the nearby national parkl/woods

There are mountains nearby, and a coast near by, an abandoned church, a mall next to a construction site

Has Marco been in the mountains before?

Marco, yall only tried to rescue Tom once. That’s not everything you could do. Yall could just fucking kidnap him and fake his death and also tell Jake’s parents so they don’t do anything… rash

Tobias is kinda taking charge of this mission

Tobias doesnt like Marco

Its 20 miles from Cassie’s barn to the mountains

Cassie apparently dosent consider that female wolves might also fight for dominance

None of these kids practiced this morph beforehand even tho they know morphing something for the first time usually leads to some loss of control

Cassie can morph horse. There’s horses plural at her barn. They could have all become horses in the woods to travel the 20 miles then turned into more normal forest animals to blend in once they got there.

Every Time they morph my comparative anatomy classes start fucking screaming in anguish. The knees reversing is not nearly as bad as fingers shriveling and disappearing b/c somebody doesnt know fucking digitigrade limb anatomy

Morphing took Cassie 2 mins

Tobais is a hawkaboo

Alpha. Ick

Jake can’t control his morph and is triggering wolf shit in the others

They really should just fucking demorph and remorph.

Tobias gets frustrated and flies off to clear his head

Too fucking bad we dont get a first person view of turning into a wolf b/c Tobias got himself stuck as his fursona and had to narrate this book

Fake park rangers

No, I’m not going to believe that hork-bajir have T. rex feet b/c these kids know jack and shit about every kinda animal. Also zygodactyl feet make more sense for a tree climber, and would look lovely while kangaroo hopping

Tobias only notes blades on their heads, wrists, elbows and knees.

Tobi mistakes a random group of 5 wolves for his friends

These dumbasses dont demorph and remorph b/c they want to be wolves for the rest of their life

Taxxons are consistently described as fat centipedes

Tobias finds out his hawk body is horny for a lady bird

More misinformation on how wolf packs work

Idiots don’t display submissive behavior and back away to avoid a conflict. Or just flat out fucking run away.

SO the gang are able to demorph at least 7 mins past the two hours time limit. Cassie was in morph the longest yet is the first to finish and then helps the other morph with her coaching skills. Interesting.

SO how long can they really stay in morph? It takes Cassie 2mins to morph, they were at least 7 mins past the window. Cassie spent 69 mins in morph more or less, could she go longer?

Did lying to them about how much time they had left help? How much of morphing is psychological?

Owls can and would eat hawks. Tobias should be concerned about that.

Marco comes up with the idea to drive the alien tanker uncloaked over the city to alert the citizens

Jakes plan is to enter the ship through the pipes as fish. Why would there be a way to get into the rest of the ship from the water tank?

Rachel’s gymnastics group is doing a show in the mall

It bothers me that the kids and books don’t call Iness 226 by their name. B/c conflating the yeerk with their host is… not a good mentality to have

...birds can walk. Does Tobias think the only way birds can move is by flying? He can fucking run, it’d be a cute little flapping waddle but he can fucking run

Tobias loses control kills a rat, has a freak out and tries to commit suicide in front of Rachel. Is thwarted by Marco

Tobias goes feral to avoid his emotions

Tobias goes to see if the female hawk is still alive/maybe a booty call

Ya know I wanna know whats going on with the other animorphs while Tobias is having this crisis

It took Tobias a surprisingly long time to get past his shit and give a damn that a person was about to be brutally murdered in front of him

… how does Tobi’s eye attack work on the hork-controllers? AT what angle is he going to avoid the foot long horns and still hit the eyes?

You can totally hug a damn bird Applegate. People hug birds all the damn time.

Why don’t the two people with osprey morphs? Catch fish? Hell they could work together driving the fish into a net if they’d thought to bring a net.

These kids are so dumb. Marco? Cassie? Morph fucking ospery and see where the fish are!

Toboas gets distracted by the sexy lady hawk durring an important part of the mission

Andalite description: eyes on antler-like stalks, large main eyes, dainty hooves

Why is Visser 3 here now?

Plan gets 500% more dangerous and Jake and Rachel still push for it

Cassie sides with doing the plan over fucking waiting till security cools off and trying again when there’s less chance of death

The hork-controllers shoot a deer but not a bird going out over the lake multiple times

Hork-controller talking shit to a human-controller

Why is there a grate at the top of the water tank that leads in to the rest of the ship?

Tobias genuinely seems to think that there are voluntary hork-controllers given this and his comment in the first book’

Also I don’t like how Tobi keeps refering to non-human people as creatures. This shit probably happened in the other books but fuck it I’m noting it now

Heh. The kids can’t open the grate to escape and are plotting group suicide to avoid capture and infestation.

Its almost like trying to infiltrate a spaceship/tanker through the water take was a very very bad idea.

Tho is they had like mosquito morphs it might have worked

Taxxons can apparently climb like small bugs do.

Tobi steals a gun to kill the ship with

Tobi kills a ship with a gun

Random chance saves the animorphs again and Tobi is the only one to notice the humans falling out of the ship

…. Marco has an osprey morph not bald eagle.

Also! Bald eagles are fish eaters! Why didn’t Rachel morph to make fishing a little easier

Tobi sees the sexy lady hawk die

[a-jynx]

Black Eyes, Pretty Lies - Part 3: The Monster Behind The Beauty

Summary: Team Free Will find themselves lodged between a rock and a hard place when a possible case turns out to be more than they bargained for - especially when one specific member falls for the guilty…

Pairing: Sam x demon!reader/murder!reader

Characters: Y/N (reader), Sam Winchester, Dean Winchester, Crowley, Andrew (demon bestie) Castiel (mentioned) 

Warnings: Cursing, mentions of deaths, demons, hint of jealous!Sam

Notes: This idea sort of just hit me in the face because I saw a prompt and since I’m taking still mapping out chapter nine of Trouble In All The Right Places, I figured might as well write some drabbles!

Small things: Y/N - Your Name, e/c - eye color 

Previous Parts: Part 1, Part 2,  

Short Story Tags: @coolershiit @emmaveale123 @confransivan @cookie-dough-lova @spn-imagines-fics @curly-haired-disaster @nicorobinechelonwinchester @justhere1112 @painwillmakemestronger @itsjustmeiguessallrightthen @ihatemydaddy  

^^ If you wish to be untagged, just tell me, please and thanks! (I’m just going off the people who liked the posts) 

Enjoy! Feedback is appreciated!

“So, Dean is your older brother but you’re taller than him? And you know, an angel? ” I laughed as I pulled into the parking lot of the motel where the Winchester boys were staying at. Along the way, Sam had explained that he and Dean were only there for a week, or a few days depending on the case, and that somehow got me to understand that he’s someone’s baby brother.

“Yep, and I have better hair, but he doesn’t know it. Yeah, but he’s never around much - always something big going on in Heaven, I guess.” He laughed as I rolled my eyes, shaking my head as I laughed too. Turning off the car, we climbed out as Sam led the way towards the motel room. I couldn’t fight off the urge to look back at my car, noticing the slightly bloody duffel…

               How he didn’t notice – I didn’t care, as long as he didn’t say anything.

“Dean! Got food, and I brought some help,” Sam called into the dimly lit room as I arched a brow and quickly followed after him, stopping just after the door as I looked around the cramped room. Two large beds that looked ready to break, dingy and weird stains plastered the brown carpet while the rest of the room seemed…. Okay.

               “Nice, and why?” A voice, I’m assuming Dean, called as a man exited the bathroom with a towel wrapped around his head, while grey sweats hung loosely around his hips as I arched a brow, crossing my arms as I smirked.

“Because, I’ve been here longer than you two, sweetheart,” I laughed as the husky man went slightly bug-eyed as he ripped the towel from his head, shaking it as water droplets flung from the ends of his sandy hair.

               “Heh, well, my brother and I are FBI so your assistance will not be needed, sweetheart,” he bit back as he moved across the room, grabbing the plastic sack with the to-go containers as he grabbed one and searched it, scrunching his nose slightly at it.

I fought back a snarl, as I tightened my crossed arms already noticing Sam giving his brother a bitch-face, along with a small threaten to boil in his hazel, grey eyes.

               “Dude, could you be cool for one second?” Sam sighed while rolling his eyes as Dean found the container with his food, grabbing a plastic fork and began to dig into the eggs, bacon, and hash brown mix. He looked up with a bit of yolk dribbling from his lips as I fought back a grimace – he ate like a pig, but looked handsome while doing it… Lucky bastard.

               “What are you talking about? I’m cool – hell, I’m cooler than cool.” Dean spat as he licked away the dribble as I sighed, rolling my own eyes as I stepped forward, this catching both of the brothers’ attention.

“Listen, Dean-o, you're like most hunters, you don’t like getting help from civilians, I get that. So, it’s a good thing I’m not a civilian – I’m a hunter, and I’ve been here longer than either of you, so might as well buck up, or shut up.” I sighed in one breath as my eyes shot to Sam, who looked almost impressed as he tried to hide his smile with a bite of his salad.

               Dean, however, just looked plain stunned. His lips slightly parted while his eyes glittered some – to the point where I couldn’t tell if he was angry, or somehow impressed also.

Swallowing thickly, I grabbed a seat from the car corner, dragging it behind me as I sat at the table, as Sam cleared the plastic bag from there as I sighed, rolling my shoulder before nodding.

“Alright, since Mr.Yolkie over here is out of it, what all do you guys have considering the murders?” I hummed as Dean’s lips fell more open, making a face of shock as I couldn’t help but giggle at the reaction.

               “Well,” Sam started as he reached down, grabbing a laptop that took up most of the space, opening it as I peered over his shoulder – that’s when the gong sounded.

“What the-“ I started, just as Sam slammed the laptop shut as I arched a brow and sent him a tiny smirk, trying to bite back my laughter as he glared daggers over at Dean, who was busying himself with eating the last of his hash browns.

               “I didn’t take you for a busty Asian beauty website type, Samuel,” I giggled as he looked at me with such wide eyes, you’d believe he was a deer. A bright, rosy color began to develop on his cheeks as he cleared his throat.

“I.. I… That’s not mine! Dean-“ Sam growled before opening the laptop, silencing it first, then exiting out of the tab as he sighed, opening a file that led to the murder cases. I leaned over his shoulder once again, as I squinted reading the fine print of newspaper clippings.

               “So, get this – the murders have been happening for a while now, but they don’t have a pattern. It could be one victim or four in the matter of tomorrow or next month. So, whatever this thing is – it’s unpredictable.” Sam sighed as I slowly nodded, trying to keep the prideful smirk off my lips. But that’s when my latest kill came up…

“But, we got a lead when this murder happened two days ago.”

               “How did you get a lead anyway? I mean, they’ve been happening for so long-“ I stated as I tried to keep my voice from falling, or rising. The screen lit up with newspaper clips, photos, documents and etc. of my work made my blood boil – but somehow, a good boil?

Suddenly, a loud burp erupted from Dean’s side as Sam and I snapped our heads towards the man, who smirked taking a drink from his coffee before noticing Sam and I’s unimpressed looks.

               “What?” He asked innocently as I rolled my eyes, Sam shaking his head as Dean cleared his throat before rising from his chair and moving behind Sam, looking at the screen now.

“But, we got a lead from.. “Close friend” of ours. He got concern when he heard about the flare of random murders happening, so he asked us to check it out. Basically, see if-“

               “See if you could kill it?” I asked while swallowing thickly afterward, as Dean’s eyes slowly looked over at me, as this slow, eerie grin spread across his lips.

“Bingo.” He sent me a wink, as I inhaled easily as I returned my attention back to the laptop when my voice began to buzz making me sigh as I grabbed it, holding up one finger as they nodded, looking back at the screen as I walked over to the bathroom.

               “This better be damn important,” I hissed as I lowered my voice, trying to not be loud enough to where they could hear me.

“Ooh, someone’s high in stress,” Crowley laughed as I clenched my jaw, turning to the mirror as I removed my glasses and blinked, the innocent e/c I usually had now soaked with black.

               “And it’s pretty damn important when you have a job to be done – unless, you’ve forgotten our deal,” he spoke slowly, trying to let the words sink in as I clenched the sides of the sink and baring my teeth into the mirror as I fought off screaming.

“I haven’t forgotten… And send me the information, I���ll have it done by tonight,”

               “No, I need it done, now! Our deal was that-“

“I know what the damn deal was!” I growled into the phone, as I listened carefully to the background, already hearing the laughter of two children…

               “Get the hell away from them, you swore on the deal that you would stay away from them as long as I did your bidding!” I spat as Crowley merely chuckled before the laughter disappeared.

“Yes, I do remember that… But I also recall you saying that you’d have done tonight – I need it now. Andrew will send you the information, and if I have to come back up there for another “hell raising”.” He sighed as I blinked away the black eyes, feeling my bottom lip tremble slightly as I clenched my jaw.

               “Fine. It’ll take time, but it’ll be done… Your Highness.” I lowly sighed as a dark chuckle came from the other side of the phone.

“Good girl, now, go raise that little bit of hell.” And with that, he hung up. I snapped shut my phone as I looked into the mirror, the innocent e/c orbs looking back at me as I shook my head.

               “Y/N, hey, are you alright?” Sam’s voice called through the door, making me jump as I cleared my throat.

“Uh, yeah… Yeah, I’m fine.” I reached over, opening the door as I came face-to-chest with Sam as he looked down at me with furrowed brows, I sent a large smile up at him as I tried to clear my thoughts of what Crowley wanted to be done tonight…

               “So, your names Y/N?” Dean asked as I looked up, as Sam walked back over to the table, as he sat down and looked at the laptop screen while taking a drink of his coffee. My eyes trailed over to Dean as I sent a small grin.

“Yeah, that’s my name…” I prayed Crowley hadn’t told them… Hadn’t said it by accident, or even on purpose.

               “Nice, beautiful name for a beautiful girl,” Dean grinned as Sam shot him a bitch-face, before glaring daggers and returning back to the laptop. I shook my head with a laugh, as I made my way over to them and sat down, looking over his shoulder once again.

Oh… If only they knew the terrible monster that hid behind this beauty…

[uhh-the-green-thing]

Reconnections | Becca x MC (Jey)

Heya, this is my first ever (and late, might I add) entry to Choices Creates, with the prompt “Reunited.” Thanks to @captainsugarcakes and @holly-park for hosting!

Rating: T (It’s got a few swears. Like, three.)

Pairing: Becca x MC

Word Count: 1970

Summary: Becca meets a former love. In the middle of the city. Under the rain. Heh.

Hope you enjoy!

Of course it rained just when she decided not to take her umbrella with her. Why was the weather always so stupidly unexpected? That morning it was scorching hot, and now her clothes were so dampened, her coat and a handbag over her head doing little to shield herself from the downpour.

Becca tried to hail what seemed like the fifth cab that night, growling in frustration when she got ignored once again and got sprayed by murky water as the cab drove through a puddle, roaring past her.

Her hands leapt in exasperation. “Oh, for the love of g—“

“Becca?”

Becca stopped dead in her tracks. That voice—she would’ve recognized it anywhere. It belonged to the woman who haunted her dreams at night, keeping her awake for the next few months after they broke up. She slowly turned around when she heard lithe footsteps approach her, her heart beating erratically in her chest.

She brought her arms down from over her head, clutching her bag to her side. She was surprised that the rain suddenly stopped when she finally came face to face with her, but realized it was only because there was now an umbrella held over her head. Her ex stood close next to her under the same umbrella and gave her a warm smile.

“Jey,” was all Becca managed to say, breathing out the name wistfully as she met Jey’s eyes. They were just as captivating as she remembered, her gaze just as intense. Her smile was also still so charming, and Becca couldn’t help but smile back as she recalled the memories that accompanied it.

“It’s been so long.” Jey said, the barest hint of nostalgia tingeing her voice.

It had been. Years had passed since they last saw each other or had any form of contact, save a few greetings here and there for holidays or whenever the other had a birthday. Becca wanted to reconnect with Jey before but both of their busy schedules didn’t allow that to happen, and eventually Becca gave up on the both of them with a very heavy heart.

“Yeah, it’s… yeah.” Smooth Becca, real smooth. After years of not seeing each other, that’s all you can say to her, Becca mentally berated herself.

“I’m so glad to see you, I almost don’t mind you being soaked,” Jey teased, a playful smirk forming on her face. Becca would’ve missed the twinkle in Jey’s eyes if she hadn’t been, well… gawking at her. Becca let out a little laugh and lightly whacked Jey’s arm with the back of her hand, prompting Jey’s smirk to grow wider.

“I’m… really glad to see you too, Jey,” Becca finally heard herself say.

Jey’s grin turned into a soft, genuine smile. “Have you been waiting here long?”

Becca snorted. “Ugh. You have no idea. Every cab I hailed kept on passing me by.”

“Ah, well let me help you with that.”

Jey looked up, held her arm upward and waved, flagging down a cab. One promptly pulled over the curb.

“How in the hell…” Becca trailed off, looking at Jey incredulously.

The corners of Jey’s mouth twitched, and she looked like she was holding back a smile. “People must sense my beauty and charm from a mile away,” Jey said and gave Becca a wink.

Becca rolled her eyes, but her smile was wide nonetheless. She also couldn’t help the light blush from spreading over her cheeks at Jey’s wink. She didn’t know why that worked on her every time. “Stop that before I whack you again.”

Jey laughed, her dulcet tones making Becca’s heart flutter. She really missed that laugh. A tide of longing suddenly washed over her, and all those years that they shared together came crawling back to her mind, overwhelming her senses.

The sight of the woman who had so thoroughly spun her world askew sent her equilibrium spinning once again, the subdued embers of emotion flaring so suddenly. The tranquility she thought she had achieved throughout the years faded to a dull hum, and Becca knew she hadn’t put Jey behind her at all, merely muted her to her everyday senses.

She still hadn’t moved on—she never did.

“Here,” Jey stepped towards the cab door, opening it for Becca. She rested a hand on top of it and looked at Becca thoughtfully, her fingers fidgeting. Becca knew that look, it was the one Jey always had when she was deciding whether to say something or not. She moved towards the door but looked back at Jey before stepping in, patiently waiting for whatever it is she had to say.

“So, uhh, are you… heading home?” Jey finally asked.

“Yeah, I…” Becca hesitated. She wanted to stay and spend a little more time with Jey…

Becca regarded her, noticing that some things about her had changed, while others had not. Jey lacked the casual clothes Becca always used to disapprove of, replaced by a long, stylish, black rain jacket that hugged her lovely curves. She exuded an air of maturity and also seemed more balanced and more sure of herself, even if she looked tired. Must be because of work as always, Becca guessed.

But one thing was for sure—Jey looked happier now. Happier than she seemed when they were still together, it looked like.

Unable to help it, Becca felt a yawning sense of loss open up in her stomach, and she fully realized that it had been four whole years. Four years of growing, of moving on with life. Chances were, Becca noted with a growing coldness, that Jey had clearly moved on past everything that they’d shared back then…

“I am,” Becca said, dolefully stepping inside the cab.

“Alright.” Jey replied, crestfallen. Why was she sad? “I’ll… see you around then?”

Becca nodded, downcast. She laid a hand on Jey’s arm, looked straight into her eyes, and gently squeezed her arm, giving her one last longing smile before shutting the door. She told the driver her destination and looked out the window to see Jey giving her a small wave of goodbye as the cab started moving.

She looked back at Jey’s receding form in the distance, immediately regretting her decision to go home and throw her chance away than spend time with Jey. I’m so stupid, Becca thought.

The cab halted at a stoplight, and Becca’s mind began to wander. Her mental image of Jey before she left her was so ingrained on her mind—Jey looked so let down, so disappointed. It was as if Jey wanted her to stay.

Could it be that Jey still felt something for Becca? That look had to count for something, right? Becca suddenly wanted to go back and find out for herself.

Becca chewed the inside of her lip, contemplating whether she should go back for Jey or not. Should she really? Would it be worth it? What if Jey didn’t feel—Aw, fuck it.

“Excuse me,” she turned to speak to the driver. “Could you pull over please? I have to get off, I uhh, forgot something back there. I’m so sorry.”

She received a dirty look from the driver but he did pull over, and Becca gave him a bill and dashed out of the cab and through the rain as soon as the vehicle stopped. She ran as fast as her legs could take her, barely dodging the people she almost bumped into and earning herself a few glares and yelps of surprise from them.

She eventually got to the spot where she saw Jey earlier but she was nowhere to be seen now. She squinted her eyes and scanned the crowd, looking for any signs of where Jey might’ve been.

Just when she was about to give up on her search, she heard a bell jingle in the distance. Craning her head towards the sound, she could just about make out Jey’s frame and see her enter a cafe.

“Jey!” Becca called out and ran towards the cafe. She pushed the doors a tad too forcefully in her haste which made the bells jingle loudly, causing almost everyone in the cafe to stare at her.

“Uhh.” Becca stood in front of the entrance with her eyes wide open, like a deer caught in the headlights, unable to move with all of those eyes on her, a shade of rouge coloring her cheeks.

“Becca!” Jey’s voice brought her out of her stupor, and before long Jey was making her way towards her, a worried and befuddled look forming on her face as she neared the drenched, panting blonde.

“Jey.” Becca managed to say, out of breath.

“Why are--why are you panting?” Jey asked.

“Because I’ve been running.”

“Through the rain?”

“Yes, Jey, through the rain. That explains why my I’m- my clothes, are soaking wet,” Becca corrected herself. That might’ve come out the wrong way, as stupid as it sounded.

Jey pulled her outside and they took shade underneath the cafe’s canopy. The rain poured heavier now, and Becca felt a little relieved that she got to the cafe the moment she did.

A handkerchief was suddenly in front of Becca’s face, and she took it gratefully from Jey, wiping her face with the cloth (which pleasantly smelled of Jey, Becca noted.)

“What’s wrong Becca? I thought you had to go home?” Although Jey was bemused, she did seem happy to be in Becca’s presence again.

“No, I,” Becca paused, catching her breath. “I came back. I… I came back for you,” she panted and ran a hand through her damp hair.

Jey blinked, speechless. She gave Becca a once over, discomfort clearly written on her face at Becca’s disheveled appearance. “Jesus, you really are drenched now. Should I get you a larger towel or something?”

“Listen, Jey. I need to tell you something, and I—“

“You could’ve done it through the phone, you know.”

“Just shut up and listen, because I might not be brave enough to tell you this crap later.”

That effectively silenced Jey, although she stared at Becca with a knowing smile on her face. Why on earth was she smiling now?

Becca took a deep breath, steadying herself. She swallowed a lump in her throat, licked her lips, and opened her mouth but then Jey cut her off with the next words she said before Becca even had the chance to start.

“I feel the same way, Bec.”

Becca blinked as the words died in her mouth. Did she hear that right? The words echoed in her mind, and she was suddenly at a loss for what to say.

“I’ve… tried to reach you before,” Jey said and took a step closer to Becca. “I was just so preoccupied with my work, and I figured that you’ve already moved past us, considering the time we spent apart.” Jey paused, looking meaningfully into Becca’s eyes.

“Looks like we were both just waiting on each other.” Jey smiled softly and took another step closer to Becca.

Warmth. It was spreading through Becca’s heart, replacing all the worries and doubts she had, answering all the questions in her head. She stared at Jey for a long time, finding the right words to say.

“Maybe you’d wanna try again? Give us another chance?” Jey was silent for a moment, before she reached out. She took two of Becca’s fingers in her own, her grasp light and warm.

“I mean, you gotta say yes. You wouldn’t run out there and get yourself wet for nothing, right?” Jey jokingly asked, the corners of her lips curling in a tiny smile. Then she laughed, her cheeks flushing as she tilted her head.

Becca chuckled, shaking her head. Her grasp tightened on Jey’s hand, squeezing it just the once. “I’d love to.”

[utsukushiishoujomangas]

Trip to Japan recap! (Part 2 - Kyoto and Nara)

Hello all,

In case you missed it, here’s part 1 of the recap:

http://utsukushiishoujomangas.tumblr.com/post/164067970528/trip-to-japan-recap-part-1

Part 3:

http://utsukushiishoujomangas.tumblr.com/post/164334394698/trip-to-japan-recap-part-3-himeji-hakone-and

In this post I’ll show pictures of the non-shoujo manga related part of the trip. Because of the many pictures, I have decided to split this part again.

The excellent view from our hotel in Futakotamagawa. Shame we only stayed here 1 night though. :/

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The next day we went to Kyoto by bullet train (Shinkansen). It was raining heavily so we spent the rest of the day shopping indoors in Kyoto station (15 floors chock full with 3 shopping malls, a hotel, a movie theater, and 2 department stores). The next day the rain was still there, but it was light enough to prevent us from cooping up in our hotel (and there were way less tourists apparently because of it).

First stop was Nijo Castle, the residence of the Shogun built at the start of the Tokugawa Shogunate when Kyoto was the capital of Japan.

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Next we went to Kinkaku-ji, a Buddhist temple containing the Golden Pavilion and probably one of the most famous temples in Japan. The present one is a reconstruction, as the original one was burned by a rookie monk in 1950 who then tried to commit suicide. There’s not much honestly other than the pavilion… Still horribly crowded on a rainy day, but I managed to get a nice picture! :D

At the end of the complex, you can buy charms, wishing plaques, etc.

After that we went to Ryoan-ji, which is famous for its Zen rock garden.

Apparently, at least one of the rocks is hidden from view from any viewing angle.

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The rest of the temple grounds aren’t that bad either:

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Final stop of that day was Ninna-ji, a Buddhist temple complex with strong ties to the Japanese Imperial family (the bishop was always a member of the Imperial family).

I really liked this one. For some reason there was a severe lack of tourists/people here. I think I saw less than 50 people here during my hour and a half there, which is awesome considering the place was much bigger than spay Kinkaku-ji.

Also, they let you inside buildings and take pics inside (unlike Nijo Castle). ^^

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The 5-story pagoda of the temple complex. Notice the raindrops.

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Back to the outside world~

The next day we went to Nara, 45 minutes by train to the south of Kyoto. One-time capital of Japan for 84 years (710-794) and one of the birthplaces of Buddhism in Japan.

We took the local train, so it was a nice train ride across the countryside.

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Nara’s main attraction is the Buddhist temple Todai-ji, whose main hall houses the largest bronze Buddha in the world and was until somewhat recently (1998) the largest wooden structure in the world. It is located in Nara Park, which is officially 1240 acres large.

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Lots of Japanese middle/high school groups touring the place. Heh it makes me feel old and kinda nostalgic about my own school field trips…

There it is, the bronze Buddha.

Two of the statues flanking the bronze Buddha. Notice the school group.

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Bell tower of the temple, located a little uphill. Most tourists seemed to take the exit instead of going this way, so there were only Japanese schoolkids on free time on our route.

Next up is Nigatsu-do Hall, still part of Todai-ji temple.

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Nigatsu-do is known for its sweeping view over Nara. We weren’t disappointed. There was also free green tea.

Just a few minutes walk away from Nigatsu-do is Tamukeyama Hachiman-gu Shrine, dedicated to the deity of archery Hachiman. The first picture is of the water purification fountain (chōzuya). You have to wash your hands and rinse your mouth (then spit out the water, do not drink it) with the ladle.

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We were short on time (4 days for Kyoto/Nara/Osaka) so we didn’t fully explore Nara Park, but by all means do so if you ever find yourself there. Just wandering randomly and running into temples is a great way to spend a day.

No trip to Nara would be complete without the famous deer! A symbol of Nara (I saw/heard schoolgirls gush over how kawaii the deer merchandise in gift shops lol), over 1200 wild deer freely roam inside the park. They used to have a divine status (a bit like cows in India?) but now they’re just designated “national treasures” and you can buy a stack of deer crackers for 150 yen to feed them yourself.

We ended our trip to Nara with Yoshikien Garden, which has free admission for foreign tourists (unlike Isuien Garden next door which has more people flocking to?).

They have 4 different sections, but the ‘Moss Garden’ one was the best in my opinion. ^^

Before returning to Kyoto, we stopped at Uji, a city known for its high-quality tea. It was one of the first places where tea was cultivated in Japan, and many long-standing tea companies still have their headquarters there. Located a comfortable 10 mins walk from JR Uji station, the street leading up to Byodoin temple has a large concentration of tea shops.

They sold many green tea flavoured products, like this instant curry:

They even have green tea collectible figurines gacha boxes lol.

Green tea takoyaki (I didn’t taste these).

Waiting for the train at JR Uji station. A quaint typical everyday scene.

The next day, we had to leave Kyoto for Osaka, but our hotel check-out time was 12 PM (AKA noon). So we had enough time to visit one more temple in Kyoto. Here’s a nice picture on a typical pedestrian overpass on the way to the temple.

Nishihongan-ji Temple is a comfortable walk from Kyoto station. Headquarters of the Hongwanji sect of Jodo Shinshu Buddhism, it is still active today (finished in 1591).

Lantern outside.

One of the main halls.

Chōzuya (water purification fountain)

Ornate karamon gate.

Aaaand that’s all for this part (it’s already way too long for a single post but I wanted to regroup Kyoto and Nara together). As always, I hope you folks enjoyed. Next: Himeji, Hakone and Tokyo~

[justsomehobo]

Hatt’s Army, Chapter 2

Constructive criticism welcome! 

(Originally published July 6, 2017)

Wednesday: June 19, 1940

The next morning, I was awakened by the warmth of the pilot light in my firebox, set alight by a cleaner who had swept the floor, polished all my controls, turned a small valve that looked as if it were built for a garden hose, checked to ensure my auraphone was rising from a low contralto at a healthy rate, and moved on to Edward on my immediate left. Simmering comfortably, I woke up slowly to see, through the crack in my shed door- for the windows were boarded up on account of blackout regulations- that the morning sky was already beginning to brighten. By the time most of our drivers had arrived on their bicycles, we were all still groggy but beginning to grow sharper.

"Good morning, old boy," greeted Boris as he boarded my cab.

He waited a while, but I didn't bother giving anything above a low groan. "Anybody home?" he joked, looking up and rapping at the glass of my fisheye.

"Stop it!" insisted Maxwell, and all-but-shoved him to the back of the cab. I gave a lazy 'tsk-tsk-tsk' in agreement.

"That's no way to start a morning," yawned Edward to whomever it may have concerned.

"Ah well," I responded, "just, erm... be thankful we're heating up in time for the Report."

Edward, who had heard the rumors of my earlier bank engine fiasco with the Wild Nor'Wester, stifled a chuckle. Henry, Gordon and James didn't bother to hold back.

"PFFFFAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAH HA ha ha ha!"

"AAAW HA HA HO HO ho ho ho huh huh huh…!"

"Eh HAH ha ha ha hah hah heh heh heh heh...!"

Edward kept quiet because he knew better than to give them a rise. I kept quiet because I knew of no other option.

Soon enough, it was six o'clock, and we were all gathered in time for the Morning Report. Yard Boss Havirty stood before us in his spruce-green uniform and Levi trousers, his goatee and thin, deer-like face standing in stark contrast to his naturally curly, unkempt hair that poked out from under his Zuckerman helmet.

"Good morning to you all, sirs," he shouted clearly after blowing his whistle, as he had done for years.

"Good morning, Foreman," we all answered almost instinctively.

"Today, I have some very important news for you all," Havirty heralded, "so please, pay close attention. I'm looking at you, James." James, who had been admiring a flock of crows against the sunrise, balefully glanced back at the Assistant Director.

"Now, we all heard Big Winnie's speech yesterday afternoon, and he said he would have some legal issues resolved so we could concentrate on the war effort. Among these issues was an ongoing labor lawsuit between a local union and the LMS's Faculty Commission. According to recent reports, the suit has been summarily arbited by royal action in favor of the Union; and as part of their demands, our local Commission representative office has been relocated, from Euston House in London to the Gallant Office Park in uptown Crovan's Gate. I expect you'll all be seeing him by my side quite often- especially you, Gordon. From Monday evening until Thursday morning each week, he'll be making his home in a seaside resort just south of here, and you'll be taking him to and from his office aboard the Nor'Wester. So without further ado, now would be as good a time as ever to get each other introduced. Wait here a moment, I'll call him out." And with that, he stepped into the turntable's control box to use the transceiver inside.

He directed our attention to a black Duesy pulling up nearby. Out from the left-hand front door stepped a man with a rather… heavy-set appearance. I have heard many call him 'pear-shaped', but personally his body reminds me more of a mango. He wore a freshly-ironed blue suit jacket and tie, with a yellow cardigan underneath, matching trousers, a pair of leather dress boots, in which he was almost tiptoeing over the ballast, and a top hat, which he was clutching tightly to avoid having it blown away. He walked over to the turntable with a security guard in uniform at his left, and a butler at his right. Both were keeping uncomfortably quiet, for he was in the foulest of moods.

"It's a pleasure to have you with us this morning, sir," said Havirty as he shook the mogul's gloved hand. Then turning back our way, he announced, "I would like to introduce to you all to Sir Charles Topham Hatt, Faculty Commissioner and Chief Inventory Director of the North Western Division of the London, Midland and Scottish Railway. I am- at least, technically speaking- his assistant.”

"So theyse ah Units 1 through 5?" Sir Hatt almost muttered in a curious tone. "I had olways wondahd…"

"Sir," addressed Havirty as he led the stout gentleman down the turntable in my direction, "here is our Fowler 3F, . Hereabouts we like to call him Thomas."

"Hello, kind Sir," I stammered, feeling almost guilty of receiving his attention. He didn't reply, seeming too intent on looking me over. Perhaps he was admiring how my long, slim funnel and dome up above my smokebox and boiler contrasted with the boxy cab and bunker behind and water tanks to the left and right. Sharp-dressed, refined men are always going on about ergonomics and functional form and such.

"Now, Thomas," stated Havirty clearly, "here are your orders for today: 

after reporting to Tidmouth Station at 7:30 this morning, you must

arrange the morning Limited for Edward at Platform 4 by a quarter to eight,

and the express at Platform 1 on the hour.

Then James's stopping goods is due out by 8:30 at Platform 3,

and a scenic train is expected at Platform 1 at 10 o'clock.

Then comes Elevenses, and between then and tea you shall report to the Tidmouth depot and cooled for an inspection, wash-down and a refill of coal and water. Then, once you are re-lighted,

you are to report back to your post by tea to disassemble the scenic.

A train of goods vans is expected in at that time, and when unloading is finished- which should be around 4 PM- you are to sort the vans evenly in the 3 spurs up-yard.

Processing for the Wester is expected to end at 6:45,

and for the Limited at half-past seven.

When you have finished shunting those, you may report to the Depot for the Evening Report at nine."

"Yes sir," I registered.

Havirty went on to introduce him to Edward. Our Number Two wasn't the strongest or newest of us, he explained to Hatt; in fact, he was at least 60 and his boiler was smaller than mine. But his age meant that he was dependable, experienced and understanding, and so Havirty had found a niche for him here, equipping him so that he could move both backwards and forwards just as well. This made him great for more urgent deliveries, as he could assemble light trains without the help of a shunter.

Henry was our heavy mixed-traffic engine, impartial to trucks or coaches. He was always recognized everywhere he went both for his wide boiler size and his unique bright green Mid-Sodor livery. He was built here on Sodor in 1916, our manager then explained when his turn came, in response to increasing pressure on the old Mid-Sodor Railway by Parliament to increase wartime production. The story goes that the technicians at the Crovan's Gate Engine Works simply cobbled him together from the spare parts of other engines, and I've heard many a disgruntled yard worker call him 'Crovanstein' behind his back. Nonetheless, when the war had ended and work slowed down, the bean counters at Euston decided we were better off keeping him than replacing him. He was always willing to prove himself to Havirty, for better or worse, and that, we all supposed, was his saving grace.

While Henry was haphazardly designed but modest in his ways, our express engine Gordon was anything but. He was a Princess Coronation, purpose-born and bred to run heavy express lines, and the way he spoke of it, he may as well have had royal blood in his boiler tubes. In his emperor's cloak of Midland scarlet, he was given the job of pulling the island division's flagship express train, the Wild Nor'Wester, from Knapford to the seaside town of Brendam, then to Vicarstown just across the strait from the Greater Isle, each morning from 8 to 9, and back again to Brendam and Knapford from 6 to 7 each evening. On Saturdays, when the express didn't run, he was often given stopping or scenic passenger trains, or occasionally heavy freight (a job he considered unfitting of an engine of his stature). As you may guess, 'Prince Gordon' often seemed to forget whose railway it was and who was giving the orders.

James, who wasn't as scrappy as Henry or as purebred as Gordon, still wasn't sure just where he fit in here. A Class 28, he had done local freight work in Lancashire in his early days; but then war broke out, the Government took control, and the bean counters decided to transfer him here. That must've been two months ago, and Edward was still showing him the ropes. James would always go back to the Depot each evening with another rumor from the lips of a workman for him to evaluate. Though James still missed his friends back home, the rest of us- along with Havirty- were beginning to count him among us in our boilers and smokeboxes.

"How come I never get to pull trains like the rest of you?" I thought out loud, listening to the other engines' orders enviously as Havirty made his rounds. "All the brave young men are off on the beaches and landing-grounds, defending their King and country. Why is it that I should stay here?"

"Bah!" James was quick to answer. "It's out of your league. You're already slow enough now, just pushing coaches in and out of the station!"

"Besides," put in Henry, "you don't even have a tender. I bet that little bunker of yours can't hold enough coal for you to make it to Crosby, let alone the Channel!"

"Ah," added Gordon slickly. "We are in agreement, then. To everything there is a season, little Thomas, and a time to every purpose under Heaven: a time to sow and a time to reap, a time to mourn and a time to dance. My season is now, and my purpose is to help run the Northwestern line. It is what I was put on this Earth to do, and so I give this cause all I have to give. Your own time and purpose, Thomas, is not so different from ours. I suggest you give it the respect and dedication it is due."

I looked over to Edward in hopes he would be holding out for me, but all I saw was a glare of frustration mixed with a dash of regret. A glare from Edward, it was rumored, could speak volumes, and the lowered eyebrow and widened aperture and eyelid-angle of this one came together to read: "Proceed at your own risk."

"Fine, then," I taunted back. "You just wait! You'll be sorry! 'Cos when all the Shunting is gotten done, I shall run away to the Beaches myself! And when I come back, I'll make you all regret every last word you just said just now, 'cos I'll be pulling a whole ticker-tape parade, I will! With a big brass band and everything! You just wait and see!"

The other engines took no notice, for Thomas was a little engine with a long tongue.

[piratetales]

Cactus Punch

--Some pictures are so inspiring that you just have to put words to them. "Jewelry for Sale" is one such picture.--

“This is as good a place as any, considering there’s not a tree in sight for miles. Or cars, for that matter. Just go squat over by that cactus.”

She imagined shooting cactus thorns from her eyes, and impaling his wind-kissed face.

“Fine, just make sure no one comes,” she said.

They parked the bike beside an old jewelry stand, nothing more than a rickety make-shift pergola with a hand painted Jewelry for Sale sign nailed to the front.

Photo by "Hammer" Semmes

“I’ll take the left cactus and you take the right one. No one will come, and if they do we’ll hear them before they’re close enough for a peep show,” he said.

“Ha, ha, funny.” She started walking over a low rise toward the largest saguaro on the right.

It was almost high noon and the sun beat down harder than she expected for a crisp day in February. Arizona was everything she imagined. The miles of Martian landscape held a constant gravitational pull on the sparse shrubbery, except for the occasional tumbleweed. That last one that spun by stopped to admire a speckled lizard tanning on a rock and sent the lizard scurrying to the shady shadow of the rock. Grandiose mesas and plateaus of toffee and rust punctuated the powdery earth.

She surveyed the immediate area around the cactus. Satisfied all critters were either lunching or enjoying their midday siesta, she unzipped her thick jeans and squatted for a greatly needed pee. The back of the motorcycle seat always chaffed on the inside of her left thigh and the red blotch just began to show.

Mid-stream she looked to the horizon and thought how peaceful it would be to have a little shack in the middle of nowhere just to pursue her creative ventures. The flash of a spider mere feet in front of her shocked her back to present and she nearly toppled backward onto the only dusty rock around.

Whoa, time to go! She bounced her bottom to remove the remaining drops and zipped up.

“Are you coming?” he called.

She saw him walk back over the shallow rise to the bike and then freeze. A faint laugh came with the tumbleweed rolling toward her. Not taking her eyes off his strange stance until she made it downslope, she saw what concerned him. The abandoned jewelry stand now bustled with business. Maybe 40 people congregated around it making small talk, laughing, smoking, drinking.

From the style of dress, the people looked like Native Americans, possibly from a couple of different tribes. Some of the women wore traditional dresses of deer or antelope hide adorned with beads of all colors stitched in chevron patterns. The men wore pants of the same beaded pattern and vests of the same hide. Other women wore skirts of woven flax or cotton and the men wore similar kilts. Smoke from several pipes and cigars swirled heavy in the air.

“How did we not hear all these people coming?” he said.

“I have no idea. And where is the bike? Did you─” Her thought interrupted by a woman holding a painted clay bowl calling and beckoning them to come.

They didn’t recognize the language. He grabbed her hand and walked toward the woman. Across the dirt trail that used to be the road, children tended to numerous horses, providing them water and grains to nibble. The woman holding the clay bowl motioned for another from the crowd. The crowd parted and out stepped an amazon of an Indian squaw dressed exactly like the wooden Indians so popular on the corners of old novelty and dime stores.

She stood at least six feet and wore something between a grimace and a smirk. She removed the cigar she smoked / chewed and strutted toward clay bowl woman.

They exchanged a few words in their native tongue and then wooden Indian woman said to the motorcyclists, “Come, you buy beads and pipes.”

The trading resumed and someone started playing a flute while others chanted and danced. Wooden Indian woman gestured toward the motorcyclists and encouraged them to peruse the tables, which were piled with beads, silver rings and earrings, leather and hide belts, beaded buckles, and pipes of all shapes and sizes. Some of the larger pipe bowls were exquisitely carved into the shape of horse heads, the moon and stars, and cacti. Clay pots held loose tobacco, hand-rolled cigarettes and cigars, dried marijuana buds, and peyote buttons.

One of the jewelry vendors eyed the man’s leather motorcycle jacket and moved his hand to touch it.

Wooden Indian woman came up and said, “He like, you make deal.”

The women draped necklaces of dyed and silver beads on both the motorcyclists and offered them the pipe being passed around. Besides wooden Indian woman, others spoke broken English so communication became easier.

After an hour or so, the Indians decided it was time for an afternoon respite. They cleared a spot near a saguaro and a few jagged rocks and sat in a circle. The men made a rudimentary spit over a fire on which various flavors of meat strips dripped and sizzled. They passed around bowls of some liquid and chatted amiably.

“What is this?” the motorcyclist asked as she took a sip. It was slightly thick but cool and refreshing.

“Cactus juice,” wooden Indian woman said.

“And mashed peyote,” said the flute player under his breath.

Her eyes widened and she considered spitting it out but didn’t want to offend her hosts. A few giggles circled around the group.

“It good, you drink,” her boyfriend said.

Everyone laughed. She took another sip. Yes, it was good. Content and at ease with these newfound friends, she had only a passing thought of where they actually came from, and more importantly, when. A local cosplay group was her best guess.

It was time for another pee, but before she could say anything, her boyfriend stood up and announced, “I need to see a man about a horse, heh, heh, heh.”

She rolled her eyes and the horse trader walked over to determine their requirements. After exchanging a few words and hand gestures, horse trader shrugged and returned to his place in the circle. She stood to join her boyfriend in search of an accommodating cactus and took turns beneath the prickly outstretched arms.

“What in the hell is going on here?” he said.

“I don’t know. But for some reason I’m okay with it,” she said. The dreamy effects of the peyote still gripped her.

They started back. A gentle wind blew as they rounded the small rise, and both halted. The pow wow had disbanded, nobody was left. Not only was the fire gone where just moments ago spicy meat cooked on the spit, there was no evidence of it ever having been there. The horses were gone as were the children tending to them. No tables, no beads, or pipes. Nada. Nothing remained, except for the jewelry stand, a few chairs, and the motorcycle.

“What. Just. Happened?” she said.

“I have no idea. How do you feel?”

“Fine. Physically, I mean. Better than fine. Really good, actually,” she said. “You?”

“Same, but…”

“I know. I can’t even…” she said.

“Is it possible for two people to experience the same hallucination?” he said.

“Maybe. The peyote…”

“Yeah, that’s gotta be it,” he said. “Maybe we should find the nearest motel and call it a night.”

They walked in silence to the motorcycle, looking around for any trace of the passing reality from which they just emerged. She noticed how low the sun had gotten, almost completing its final descent below the lowest mesa in the distance. She removed her helmet from the back of the bike and heard something tink and bounce. She looked around and spied it on the ground. A lightly hammered silver ring inlaid with tiny chips the colors of the purplish twilight sky.

[lostandfound00]

On the Road Again

On the Road Again

Noah Tuomi

Morning Coffee

“A foraging wild creature, intent above all upon survival, is as strong as the grass.”

- Richard Adams, Watership Down

             Daniel stirred in his car at a trailhead in Colorado. The sun had risen just enough to send a thin beam of light through his window, but remained too shy to peak out from behind the snowcapped mountains. It was breezy, and the leaves of the surrounding trees shushed him into waking. He shifted as he woke and felt his shirt sticking to his back. His sleeping bag was yet again soaked with sweat caused by the dreams that swam among his disjointed periods of sleep. Only slightly uncomfortable, he lay there for a while staring up at the roof until a bird that he couldn’t name began to sing him a gentle song of encouragement that compelled him to throw his wet sleeping bag off his body and rub his eyes. The morning birds may have been the only reason he got up in the mornings, aside from maybe the calling of his unhealthy coffee addiction.

He rolled over, popped the trunk of his Jeep Cherokee, and climbed out before setting some water to boil on his small camping stove. Hobbes, his furry, 90-pound companion jumped out and sniffed the ground, frantically following the scent of some small animal before circling and urinating on a nearby spruce. He started the car and slid Nick Drake’s Pink Moon album into the CD player and hit play, allowing his mellow voice to weave its way through the surrounding trees as he brewed his coffee. He sat on the back bumper and drank the first cup of many and waited for the sun to fully reveal itself.

The dreams had been worse that night. They were always painful, but they had been stronger. More tangible. The dreams healed and haunted him every time he closed his eyes. He didn’t know whether to dread or welcome them, but either way they were consistent in visiting him every night.

He would relive the time, not so long ago, when he and five friends piled into a car and drove across the country, soon after graduating high school. He remembered the games of road trip bingo and eye spy that they had played along the way and the dancing around the campfire during the nights they spent at campsites. The dreams would often include the period of exhaustion they all had felt that led Sarah to fall asleep with her head on his shoulder. Then would follow the eight sleepless hours he spent not moving so he wouldn’t wake her. He would experience again the morning when her eyes opened gingerly with the newly risen sun and the feeling of her lips pressed against his. He would feel the chill of the night air as they lay together during each clear night, stargazing until they fell asleep together on the roof of the car. These were the dreams that Daniel had to look forward to. But they were always short lived.

Deep in the night he relived the same event. The deer standing frozen in the road, illuminated by the headlights of his car and the feeling of his hands jerking the steering wheel to the side to avoid it. The all too familiar crunching of metal as the car rolled sideways off the road and into the trees.

             He gave Hobbes a bowl of kibble and spoiled him with pieces of beef jerky he had mixed in. He drank his coffee cross legged and wiped the sweat from his brow. When Hobbes was finished eating he curled up next to him in the back of the car and placed his chin on his leg.

           They sat in the back listening to the music for an hour or so. He didn’t make breakfast, for there was a diner just up the road and he planned on making his way there for a real meal. He had been eating granola bars, oatmeal, and ramen for days now and he was looking forward to a small sliver of variety. Not that he was complaining, though. He chose this. He wondered why sometimes, but then he remembered how much worse the world was back at his apartment. He hadn’t moved any of her things from the one bedroom in case she came back, which he realized was crazy, but he couldn’t bring himself to touch anything. He had left without a second thought, leaving most of his belongings and all of hers. He didn’t think twice before packing up his Jeep and leaving everything behind. He had left a note on the counter top, one for his parent and the other for Sarah. He guessed that was why they kept calling him. Finding a letter from your son to his dead wife probably wasn’t very reassuring.

           Three cups of coffee later, he packed up the car and set out. Hobbes sat comfortably on a blanket in the passenger seat and chewed on a bone. It was a beat-up car with a few dents here and there along the sides, some peeling paint, and untreated rusty areas across the lower rims, but the wheels turned. He didn’t need any more than that. A dream catcher and a photo of Sarah dangled from the rear-view mirror, swaying with the contour of the road. His phone was charging from the port beneath the radio and was vacant of any new calls or messages, but that could merely be from the lack of service up in the mountains. It was either that or his family had finally refrained from their fruitless attempts to bring him home. He figured they were worried he was going to kill himself or something. Frankly, he hadn’t completely removed the idea from his head yet.

           The car’s clock was eight minutes slow and the thermostat was stuck flickering between 45 and 46 degrees. His phone told him it was 58. The back seat was piled with blankets, ropes, lanterns, an assortment of tools, backpacks, and a million other means of survival for the avid camper. It was filled to the top, but had an opening where he could just barely see out the back window.

The sun hung high in the sky, far above the mountainous horizon by the time he had made it to the diner. Apparently it had been further away than he had thought and it took him well over an hour to get there. He parked in the surprisingly busy lot and cracked a window for the dog. It was relatively warm out so he felt safe leaving him in the car for a short while.

He ordered two eggs; over medium, hash browns, and a big stack of french toast along with more coffee. The waitress who served him was attractive, maybe only a few years older than he was. Though the essence of her beauty was there, her face was worn with lines beside her eyes and along her mouth, no doubt from the long days of work she had endured over the course of her life.

The meal was the best thing Daniel had eaten in a long time and it filled him to the brink of bursting, making it worth the ten bucks and sizeable tip. He ate quickly so he didn’t leave Hobbes in the car for too long. On the way out an incoming customer stopped him at the door. He was a big, burly man with a thick brown beard, the kind that was hard to resist stroking gruffly when in thought. He wore a heavy red flannel over a hooded sweatshirt and a black beanie along with dark and obviously experienced Timberland boots. He must have been at least six foot three and looked like what Daniel imagined Paul Bunyan resembled.

“That your dog in the Jeep over there?” he asked, gesturing to Daniel’s car.

“Uh, yeah it is” he replied, not knowing where the conversation was going.

“Oh, well he’s a friendly feller that one. Neat color on ‘em.” The large man smiled a genuine smile, dissipating the tension between them instantly.

“Oh!” Daniel chuckled. “Yes, he’s a great dog.”

“He got a name?”

“Hobbes.”

“Heh, Hobbes. Good name. I’ve got two of my own down at the house. Great for keeping company.”

The small talk lasted a short while, but it was more than just that for Daniel. He hadn’t given so much as a hello to someone not working at a restaurant or convenience store in nearly a week and he had gone much longer than that in the past.

He wasn’t the most social of people and rarely was the one to provoke a conversation. In high school he had his group of friends that he would spend time with on the weekends, but he never strayed outside their circle voluntarily. Occasionally he would be introduced to someone new and they would hang out for the day. The first time he met someone would usually be the last since most didn’t enjoy the patterns of awkward silences that occurred when conversing with him. Luckily he had found friends who could accept it and soon even grow accustomed to his quietness.

The two men ended on a laugh and Daniel told him to enjoy his breakfast and that the hash browns were top notch. They shook hands and he returned to his car where Hobbes was jumping up on the window with his tongue lolling uncontrollably out of the side of his mouth. The man’s name was Jessie. And Daniel didn’t see him again after that.

 Change

“I read somewhere how important it is in life not necessarily to be strong… but to feel strong.”

-Jon Krakauer, Into The Wild

“Daniel, throw that rope over here. No not that one. Left a bit, yup that one. Just toss it over.”

           Daniel tossed the rope over the tent to Luke who grabbed it and tied it to a nearby tree branch. It would be raining soon and they had just barely made it to the campsite in time. They had been rushing to get the tent up for almost five minutes before the drops began to fall. Quickly cramming all their belongings inside they climbed in before any of their gear could get too wet. They were only half shielded by the trees around them and had a cloud filled, yet still breathtaking view of the plains of Yellowstone National Park. Within minutes it was raining hard making hundreds of loud smacks on the taut tent with each passing second. It was loud, but still peaceful in a way. Some noises can be more peaceful than silence and rain is possibly the most. They ate a few granola bars and had a few beers before hunkering down and listening to the sounds of the oncoming storm.

             Daniel woke to the sound of rain pattering on his windshield. He was smiling and felt comfortably warm and safe within the confines of his sleeping bag. Hobbes had snuggled up close to him and was snoring softly, his ribs rising and falling with each long breath. His phone read 1:24. He had been asleep for over 4 hours. Nearly a record for him. He knew he would fall asleep again shortly, for it wasn’t the falling part that was hard. It was staying asleep that was impossible, so he just lay there for a short while, the images of his dream still clear in his semi-conscious mind.

It was bliss. The moments after his dreams where his past felt much closer than it was. He would feel much further from it in the morning, or possibly just forget the dream entirely. He knew this from experience. He soon let himself slowly fall back to sleep.

             She looked up at him for a long time. The branch lay in the grass next to the car, still dripping with her blood. She seemed like she wanted to say something but couldn’t. Daniel soon realized he was apologizing hysterically, but he couldn’t hear himself either. He tried to say he loved her, but nothing came out.

[yousaidminkey]

Old Tour Stories

The Always A Bridesmaid Tour (June 7th - June 22nd 2006)

The Pictures

The Mission: Take up to 15 people (10 to start... 5 people would not be joining us until June 15th) to the North Country Fair in Driftpile, Alberta... then go and attend/play/best man at John Guliak and Christine Ferguson's wedding in Edmonton.  Between the 15 people, we could create at least 6 full bands... Carolyn Mark and Her New Best Friends, Hank & Lily, Amy Honey, Clay George, Hearse and The Dave Lang Band

The Cast: Vehicle #1 "Gwyneth Paltrow" (a 1980 Dodge Ram Van) - transportation for Tolan McNeil, Hoff, The Goose and Clay George. Vehicle # 2 "Freedom" (1990 Dodge Caravan) - transportation for Hank Pine, Lily Fawn and Emma Crow Vehicle #3 "The Hong Kong Lady" (1992 Toyota Camry) - Transportation for Amy Honey, Carolyn Mark and Andrew

June 7  Vancouver - Osoyoos 10-4 Good Buddy, We've Got Walkie-Talkies Things look good.  It's a sunny day.  Most of the Victoria contingent (everybody but me and Amy) arrived in Vancouver early.  We've bought some walkie-talkies for communication reasons (only Tolan has a cell phone)... and The Goose's Dad reaffixed the front license plate to the Hong Kong Lady.  In fact, everything went smoothly until it was time to leave.  Tolan and crew are going to be late... the free van he got for the tour has some paperwork issues that were not apparent until the last moment.  He has to spend the afternoon running all over Victoria getting shit signed.  Consequently, although the first two vehicles hit the road by 2:00, Gwyneth won't even be getting on the ferry to Vancouver until 5:00.  Anyway, the big plan is to stay in touch via the walkie-talkies (we have radio check times and nasty handles... Carolyn is "Bouncy C-Word", fr'instance, and Hank is "Fuckyou Killjoy"), and hook up for some camping in Osoyoos.  We hit the road and try our radio check... nothing.  In fact, except in one case, for the whole trip, the walkie-talkies would do nothing except eat batteries. The drive was mostly uneventful; the only excitement was that near Princeton, we were stopped by some police at a roadblock who were looking for an escaped murderer.  Also, around this time it started to rain.  Every day of the tour (except for one) it would end up raining, everything from scotch mist to full on thunder and lightning storms. Upon arrival in Osoyoos (approximately 8:00) we scoped out the camping spots in town.  It looked like trouble... all the camp grounds were full of the elderly, golf shirt, sandals and socks crowd and/or the younger, screaming kids, golf shirt, sandals and socks crowd.  It didn't look as though they would take kindly to 10 rowdy drunks disturbing their vacation... and we were sure as hell not going to want listen to their whining (nor deal with the inevitable cops).  Hell, those are the people you get out of town to get away from.  After checking out all the available possibilities (which, by the way, came across like suburban neighbourhoods where you can actually see and hear your neighbours), we (Amy, Carolyn and I) decided to tee up a hotel room instead.  Up to this point we had had no contact with the other two vehicles.  Phoning Tolan, we found that his new van had overheated in Chilliwack, and they had not yet managed to leave the Lower Mainland.  Their ETA in Osoyoos is around 2:00 AM.  Radio check for the Hank and Lilymobile turned up nothing until suddenly we started getting very garbled messages. Apparently they were also in town, looking for us.  We pulled into the parking lot of a likely hotel called The Spanish Fiesta (or Spastic Fiasco), and suddenly Hank and Lily came in crystal clear... they were parked about 50 ft. away. Things worked out pretty good, and it seemed as though we had the hotel to ourselves, so we retired to the beach for wine and beer and smoking.   Later in the evening Carolyn broke my car key off in the door of the car.  No worries, as we had a spare.  Always have a failsafe, that's what I say.  

June 8  Osoyoos - Nelson Plastic Gardening Clogs R Us (Well... Them, Actually) In the morning we found that Gwyneth had managed to make it all the way to Osoyoos, and her crew had slept in the van in the hotel parking lot. We all made some informal wagers at that point as to which if any of the tour vehicles would make it all the way home without a major breakdown. They all had issues... Gwyneth's were readily apparent by that point, but Freedom was also desperately in need of a new fan belt, and was gouting out huge clouds of exhaust whenever it was started.  The Hong Kong Lady, we had recently heard from our mechanic, could happily use two or three grand worth of mechanical repairs.  But what's life without adventure?  That's the question we decided to ask ourselves instead of dealing with our shit. Upon arrival in Nelson, we immediately sought out the thrift stores (for Amy and Carolyn), and the excellent coffee store (Cafe Oso), for me. There was something very odd about Nelson, a fashion thing, that cut across all sectors of society... men and women... geezers and whelps... squareheads and fleabags... the brightly coloured plastic gardening clog.  Perhaps the ugliest piece of footwear outside of putting plastic bags on your feet when it rains.  Even pretty girls can't rock them.  In Nelson they are everywhere.  I wanted to ask some of the people who look like (clogs aside) they should have a clue; what the Hell was going on, but in the end I figured that I really didn't want to know the answer. Since I'm mentioning fashion... let me talk for a moment about The Goose's white derby hat.  It was one of his prized possessions, and an essential part of his on stage garb... part of his shock and awe... and it really tied his whole look together.  Looking somewhat like an egg, The Goose usually treated as if he were a mother hen (or a Mother Goose, heh).  This morning he had broken with tradition and let Lily Fawn play with it.  Once we got to Nelson, Goose (and Lily) had the sickening realization that it was still in Osoyoos.  Fortunately Lily, being so small and cute, was about the only person on the tour who could get away with losing it. Soon enough, we hooked up with our "friend in town", Laoh, a Victoria expatriate, who was going to be able to put some of us up for the evening.  Laoh had only been living in Nelson for 6 months, but already seemed to know everyone there.  I knew Nelson was a smaller town, but even still, knowing everyone there would be a bit of work.  Laoh is just one of those guys who can do that.  Hell, I had never met him before, and after ten minutes, we were yakkin' along like old buds. The show, at the Royal, was a ton of fun.  A lot of people showed up, and regardless of their age, they seemed to like their Rock... or to be a bit more accurate, their Cowpunk.  Amy had one of her best shows of the whole tour.  Tolan was on fire on guitar... and Hank and Lily were really fucking amazing.  Hank and Lily added a really interesting element to all the shows.  Carolyn Mark and Clay George could most certainly be described as Country (of various speeds), and Amy can be anything from Country to Metal, but with a definite populist edge that opens a lot of doors.  Hank and Lily are much more of a travelling freak show, with costumes, personas, smoke machines and quasi-nightmarish songs about things that lurk in the dark; yet everywhere they went, they didn't seem to weird anyone out, even in the most taxidermy encrusted small town farmer bars.  In fact, they often got the loudest applause, and the most audience participation.  Just goes to show you that no matter where you go, people just like a good show. I don't remember much of the rest of the evening, but I ended up losing my glasses at Laoh's house.  No worries, as I still had my contact lenses.  Always have a failsafe, that's what I say.    

June 9  Nelson - Slocan Valley This Bug Spray Doesn't Work For Shit Tried to get a new key cut for the car, but found that my replacement key had apparently been made by "someone who was drunk or stupid, or both" and copies made from it were nonfunctional.  I hate not having a failsafe. Today we would be heading up to an isolated Eco Lodge in the Slocan valley, run by "hippies", but "not the annoying kind, you know".  There would be a BBQ and the bands would play in the living room / concert hall.  Laoh knew the best butcher in Nelson, and he set me up with some specially marinated Buffalo steaks.  Things were looking good. After a long drive up a dirt road we found the Lodge, and in the beautiful sun it looked like the best place in the world.  Outside of the guy who operated the place and an eccentric mystic lady from Buckinghamshire, a nice lady from Quebec and a sinewy traveling cyclist from who knows where, the place was deserted.  I asked Carolyn who the bands would be playing to.  She said it was a really weird thing... every time she had played there before, the parking lot would be empty, but people would "just come out of the woods".  At the end of the evening, they would return to the woods.  We had some time on our hands before the show, though, so we amused ourselves by playing badminton, flying kites and in Hank's case, going swimming.  On our way to the river we ran into a very pale Hank returning from his swim.  Apparently there were leeches in the water and he ended up with one on his scrotum.  We decided not to go swimming.  Around this time we figured we were running seriously low on beer, and Tolan and I volunteered to take the Hong Kong Lady into town to get more.  We cranked the CCR and drove like the Dukes of Hazard.  We came very, very close to hitting a deer, and the gravel road did some serious damage to the muffler.  For the rest of the trip, at city speeds, the Hong Kong Lady would sound like she was gargling Drano.  We made it back just in time for dinner, and The Goose showed another one of his many talents by BBQ-ing the Buffalo steak to perfection.  It was one of the best meals I had ever had, but only the second best one of the trip. It was around this time that we all collectively realized that the bug spray that we had been using was of little to no use.  Mosquitoes were eating us alive.  Hoff, Hank, Lily and Carolyn were all particular favourites of the little monsters, and after a short while, they all appeared to have contracted chicken pox. Just as Carolyn had said, after dinner, people started "coming out of the woods".  Even more to my surprise, I actually recognized a couple of them.  They were two brothers who used to play in a Vancouver band, The Way Out.  They were attending some Eco-camp "over there" (with that statement they waved vaguely in the direction of the woods).  Soon enough there was around 50 people there, and the show commenced.  The Lodge had a decent stage and a good sound system, and the show was great.  All the people there were very attentive, and Clay George especially seemed to have a good show.  The right music for the right people in the right place.  He even sold a few CD's.  Here is as probably as good a place as any to mention... Clay was actually the only person on the tour who had his shit together enough to bring any CD's with him.

June 10  Slocan Valley - Nanton R.I.P. Lolita We all left the Lodge at different times, but somehow we all managed to arrive at the retro thrift store in Creston at nearly the same time.   Unfortunately there had been a tragedy.  Hoff had received a phone call from her roommate informing her that here Chihuahua, Lolita, had passed away.  She had been ailing a bit, but it still came as a nasty surprise.  The Goose said it well (at least from my point of view) when he stated that "Lolita was the only little dog that didn't annoy the shit out of me".  Apparently, Lolita's remains were then kept in the freezer for Hoff to deal with when she got home.  Seriously. It was a pretty long drive today, and probably the most dangerous one, as we had to go through the Crow's Nest Pass, and near dusk, around the town of Elkville, suddenly there were elk all over the place... including the road.  We had to drive very slowly, but we still got a number of scares.  Dark brown does not show up too well against a gray and black background.   The cool moment of the drive was passing the Frank Slide, which buried the town of Frank, Alberta in 1903.  103 years later and it's still pretty impressive. As the drive continued we began to become concerned that our host, Ali, was going to be inconvenienced.  We had initially informed here that we would be arriving around 7:00, but it appeared that we wouldn't be getting there until midnight.  Ali lived on a farm half way between Nanton, Alberta and Vulcan, Alberta.  A place that could quite easily qualify as "the middle of nowhere".  The driving instructions we had included the final missive... "pull up the driveway, and don't run over the puppy".   Upon our late night arrival, we were immediately greeted by the puppy, a three-month-old blue heeler / border collie mix named Cash (after Johnny, of course) owned by Ali's neighbour, Wayne.  He was kind of bitey... but cute.  Wayne and Ali, we found in Ali's kitchen, very drunk (they've been drinking in expectation of our imminent arrival since 5:00), and surrounded by the mostly eaten appetizers Ali had prepared for us hours ago.  After making our apologies for the late arrival, we thought it polite to get as drunk as our hosts as quickly as possible. Once again we are eaten alive by bugs, but Amy seems to have come up with a repellent that actually seems to work, Ungava.  Once I started using this, I hardly got any bites.

June 11  Nanton The Big Gun Fight Today we were faced by a tough decision.   In one direction lay the town of Vulcan, who were celebrating "Spock Days", an annual event honouring all things Star Trek.  Vulcan really riffs off its vague association to the show.  It even has a statue of the starship Enterprise downtown, as well as a Star Trek themed science centre.  Some years, for Spock Days, they even get someone from the show (one time it was Councilor Troi) to come and preside over the festivities. In the other direction lay the town of Nanton, where the bands would be playing that evening, which featured an excellent vintage store (Buffalo Gals) that was also about to close, so everything in it was for sale at discounts ranging from 80 - 100%.  Needless to say, the ladies of the expedition had no interest in going to Vulcan.  I always like to suck up to the ladies, so I volunteered to drive them to Nanton, while the rest of the gang went to Spock Days.  From their later report it sounded like an anticlimactic visit to Spock Days.  All the cool stuff had happened yesterday, so all they got to see were the pancake breakfast and a home run hitting contest. Now, I like shopping as much as the next guy... well, probably slightly more than the next guy... which means that I have a tolerance for it that lasts somewhere between 15 minutes to an hour (depending upon the store).  Buffalo Gals turned out to be a very pleasant surprise, though.  There was a lot of really cool men's Western gear, as well as an interesting selection of generally cool knickknacks.  The prize find in my books was an antique, 1940's Hungarian made, crack action pellet gun.  Amy was unimpressed... very unimpressed and showed visible relief when I was told that the gun was not for sale today, because it might be included in a bulk sale to a theatre company.  But I could put in an offer and pick it up the next day it the theatre people didn't want it. I was crestfallen, but Dreanne, the lovely lady who ran the place, seeing my distress, asked me if I liked "things that go bang".  Upon my sullen affirmation, she handed me over a big box of vintage Hand's fireworks from the 1970's... which included the Burning Schoolhouse. Free. It was about the best thing ever. Between all the thrifting we had all been doing, plus all of our regular luggage and the musical equipment we were carrying, space in all three vehicles had become very, very cramped.  Our car was so full, that in order to fit Carolyn in, we pretty much had to grease her up and take a running start. The show at The Auditorium that evening was great.  The bar was really old school with taxidermy all over the place, and one of the local farmers, Lance, joined the bands on stage with his pedal steel guitar.   Lance apparently plays in a lot of bands, but only when they travel through town.  He's an amazing player, in fact of the best I've ever seen, and the coolest thing was when he played with Hank and Lily.   Despite the fact that he had never seen or heard them before... and despite the fact that they play a kind of music that is, in my opinion, not a type that I would immediately associate with pedal steel... Lance fucking smoked!  I don't think I've heard a pedal steel played like that before, and I stood in awe.      

June 12  Nanton The Best Steak in the World It was a day off.  We were all feeling kind of bad at what we had done to Ali's house.  When we arrived, everything was as neat as a pin.   Minimalist.  Spartan even.  Now ten people worth of stuff had been dumped all over her living room and ten people worth of empties had clogged up her kitchen.  It seemed good we would be leaving tomorrow, as we had definitely imposed ourselves sufficiently upon Ali's hospitality.  Fortunately, she was gracious enough to take it all in stride. After some grocery shopping in Vulcan (which, as a town, kinda sucks actually... I way prefer Nanton), we came back to Ali's. We played with the puppy, did some Hula Hooping, and prepared for a big BBQ. Someone, who shall remain nameless to avoid Amy's wrath, took a trip into Nanton, and much to my surprise/elation, came back with the pellet gun for me. Lance, and his wife and daughter came out to the festivities, and brought with them some steaks from Lance's sister's farm.  These were the best steaks I have ever had in my life. Hands down. It was akin to smoking the cigars cigar makers smoke, or drinking the whisky the distillery owner drinks.  It was just that good.

June 13 Nanton - Calgary Grid, My Ass Ali joined us for the trip to Calgary... probably she just couldn't stand the mess we had made of her house.  Calgary, I used to like...   but she has become such a boomtown that on this visit it was hard to see the things that had initially attracted me to it.  It was like seeing an old girlfriend who used to be all wholesome and winsome and girl-next-door suddenly all dressed up like a creepy real estate agent wearing too much makeup.   Not having any personal connections in Calgary, Amy and I had decided that we would get a hotel tonight.  It was not to be.  We searched all over town, but were told (often smugly) that there was not a room to be had.  A big oil and gas expo was happening in town ("the biggest one in North America"), and at one place we were told that the nearest available hotel room was in Red Deer.  Maybe.  Fortunately, Carolyn's friend Diane (who was also going to be playing bass for some of the bands that night) proved amenable to taking on a few more guests.   Despite the fact that Calgary was all supposed to be laid out on a grid with everything being easy to find, it took us a real long time to find her place.  Consequently, half of us ended up arriving kind of late for the show.   The bar that the bands would play at was a new one, The Palomino, and it seemed pretty decent.  The main floor was a Western styled Bar bar, and downstairs was another bar, where the live music happened.  Calgary has some strange smoking laws.  You are able to smoke inside a bar, but you cannot smoke on the patio.  It was very reminiscent of the good ol' / bad ol' days of rampant smoke everywhere.  Even as a smoker myself, I found it somewhat overwhelming.  Calgary fans have historically enjoyed a good rockin' show, and Amy managed to wow them with her tribute to Black Sabbath song, Sabbath! Hank and Lily, as always, impressed, and Carolyn played the fastest paced set I had ever seen her perform.  Lance even showed up to play some speed pedal steel guitar. After the show, it was raining again, but a local good ol' rockabilly boy offered to give us all a ride home in his gigantic pickup truck.  He managed to transport thirteen of us, although about six people had to ride in the rain in the back.  They seemed to enjoy it.  

June 14  Calgary - Edmonton Goilers! We headed to Edmonton where we picked up another five people (who together comprised two more bands).  Dave Lang (Regina) and Garth Johnson (Toronto) who are the main components of The Dave Lang Band, and J. McLaughlin and Grayson Walker who form the excellent Victoria band, Hearse.  Dave's lovely partner Laura and another of our Vancouver Island friends, Sylvia, also came along for the ride.   There was mayhem in the air when we arrived in town.  It was game 5 of the NHL playoffs, and the Oilers were on the brink of elimination.  When we drove down Whyte Avenue, there were so many cops it looked like martial law.  The show was to be at one of the all time great live venues, The Black Dog.  The only drawbacks were that a) the Black Dog was on Whyte Avenue, and therefore would be super packed with people... b) they would be showing the game on televisions there, and the show would not be able to go on until the game was over... and if it went into overtime, it could conceivably last for hours... c) if the Oilers lost, the crowd might get ugly. Fortunately, although the game did actually go into overtime, it ended fairly quickly, and the Oilers won.  Whyte Avenue exploded into revelry.  I decided to take a walk along the street to see just what was up.  I don't know exactly what had happened after other games (apparently some broken window, bonfires in the street and other assorted drunken hooliganry), but the cops were taking no chances.  They seemed to be everywhere, herding people along the sidewalk, pushing people off the actual street, and giving everyone the hairy eyeball.  In my short walk, I saw them arrest one guy who wanted to debate whether on not he was allowed walk in the street (he's wasn't) and I had about a million people shout "Goilers!!!" in my face.  I saw lots of people driving around honking their horns and yelling... often, if they had a pickup truck, they had a giant tinfoil Stanley Cup in the back.  I was also required to give out lots of high fives, which I did until I came across the guy who gave me such an enthusiastic high five that he nearly took my arm off.  After that I walked down the alley instead. The Black Dog was packed to the point of insanity which made for some difficulty in moving around and, more importantly, buying beers, but the place is blessed with some of the greatest bar staff this side of the Railway Club.  By the time I was lining up to buy my second beer of the evening, the bartender already recognized me, and would have my beer of preference open and ready for me by the time I got to the front of the line.  Which was a good thing, especially because the place was so damn noisy that even screaming at the top of my lungs, it was hard for anyone to hear me.  Once again, it was a really good show...   jam-packed, elated, drunk Edmontonians really know how to have a good time.  And as an added bonus, we ran into Jerf, one time drummer for Red Cat Records label stalwarts, The Doers.  For those who know him, and miss him, he asked me to tell you all that he's doing great, playing in a band called Field and Stream, and has no intention of moving back to Vancouver.

June 15  Edmonton - Driftpile Attack of the 6 Ft. Kimonoman The goal on this day was to drive 4 hours North of Edmonton to attend/play the North Country Fair.  It's held just outside the township of Driftpile, Alberta, (near Lesser Slave Lake) and was a 3-day Solstice celebration.  We were warned that there would be rain and hippies. We were arriving a day early so that the bands could play a special show for the volunteers.  Needless to say, these events are usually chaos during the actual event...   to arrive a day early ensured that things were really upside-down-town.  Hell, they were still constructing a road to where people could park.  The Hong Kong Lady took even more undercarriage abuse as a result, but we took solace in what was to become the tour mantra (at least as far as the vehicles were concern), "ahh fuck it, it'll be fine."  Amy, Dave, Laura, Garth and I pitched our tents in the performers' campground, "Shady Hollow".  It's always tempting when camping to start drinking before you set up your tent, but Amy and I had discipline (and, as I said, we had been seriously warned about rain), so we quickly cobbled together something that looked like it would probably "do", and then set out to find where the others had camped.  Tolan had taken Gwyneth to the farthest end of the campground, far away from other campers, but close to the stage were tonight's show was to take place. His camping posse included Hoff, Carolyn, Clay, Sylvia, and Goose, and they had opened up Gwyneth's side door, and strung up a tarp that extended out from there to cover a seating area and a (against Fair rules) fire pit.  The beers were cracked, and Black Sabbath was cranked.  With one of my last lucid thoughts of the day, I started second guessing the rainworthiness of our camp ground, but when I went back to check it out, I found that Garth and Dave (who love doing shit like this), had taken down our crappy tarp set up, and instead constructed a sturdy tarp-opolis that covered all three of our tents.  We then all sojourned back to Gwyneth to continue drinking and camping and awaiting someone to come by and tell us when the show was to go on.  Here is an important fact that escaped all of us. Driftpile is pretty fucking far North (compared to, say, Vancouver), and around the Solstice the sun does not set until well after midnight.  Consequently we drank and smoked and hung around in the assurance that, somehow, it was perpetually around 9:00.  This illusion was somewhat dispelled by a shaggy, intense, old hippie guy in a kimono who appeared at our campsite.  Apparently he was the stage manager of the stage that the bands were supposed to be playing at.  He was upset that it was well after midnight and no one had played yet.  We informed him that no one had told us anything, and anyway, we had no idea where half of our musicians had wandered off to.  This didn't mollify him in the least, and he proceeded to inform us that some "professional musicians" were impatiently waiting for us to get going...   apparently they were a "smoking blues band from the city".  We said, that since we didn't know where everybody was, "the smoking blues band" might was well take the stage whenever they wanted.  Then we returned to drinking.  I won't go into the gruesome details, but after hearing some garbled comments from the stage about "professionalism" and "courtesy" and "smoking blues"; we were treated to some of the most pedestrian, wanky, bullshit blues you could ever imagine being subjected to.  If you have seen the movie Ghost World, conjure up image of the band Blues Hammer.  Blues Hammer would have been preferable to the craptacular display that was M64.   Fortunately Gwyneth's sound-system could mostly drown them out.   Eventually it actually got dark, but I have no idea what time the bands finally took the stage (late, late, late, that's for sure)...   it was by far the drunkest show of the entire tour, kind of a trainwreck in places, but no one seemed to mind and the bands didn't stop playing until it was light again.      

June 16  Driftpile Shore Is Muddy While we were sleeping, it rained.  Hard.  Dave and Garth's tarp-opolis worked wonders, and we all stayed dry.  Amy and I were woken to the sound of Garth shouting that we should all get out of bed, and that we were lazy bastards, and the kitchen was cooking up breakfast and there were "big bowls of bacon", but we'd have to hurry because breakfast was nearly over.  We dragged our sorry asses over to the performer's kitchen area were there was a big spread laid out, but there were no (and there never was to be) any "big bowls of bacon".  The rain (which continued off and on all day) turned everything to mud.  I was okay, as I had thought to bring a straw cowboy hat, at big military trench coat (which Amy hated, but easily held six beers in it's pockets) and gum boots.   Some of the other were not so fortunate. ��Clay for instance started drinking before he set up his tent, consequently he had not set up a tarp to protect his tent...   he also neglected to bring a sleeping bag (he had to use his dirty laundry as a blanket)...   and he left his regular shoes and his gumboots outside his tent, so they filled up with water.  He cut a miserable hungover figure when he finally emerged for the day.  Hank Pine had been more forward thinking with his camping arrangements, but his major malfunction was that he had neglected to use enough bug spray.  Whenever it wasn't raining, there were tons of giant mosquitoes and no see 'ums.  At one point he lifted up his shirt to show a ring around his torso about thee inches wide that was composed of around 50 bug bites of various sorts.  The visible parts of his body were almost as badly off. Today was the official start of the festival, and as the day continued, tons of people started arriving.  Considering the weather, it was quite impressive.  Unfortunately, when it came time for Carolyn to take to the main stage and kick off the Fair, it was discovered that 1) the soundboard had gotten soaked overnight  2) it was also missing a major component that it needed to be functional.  Soooo...   while they dried out the board, someone had to be contacted in Edmonton to drive up the missing part. Things finally got started 4 hours late.  Once it began, it was a great evening of music, and we were even treated to the reunion of Carolyn Mark and Her Roommates (Carolyn, Tolan and Garth).   Carolyn and Hoff especially deserve kudos for rocking the "long evening dress with six inches of mud around the hem" look all evening.

June 17  Driftpile - Edmonton The Shabbiest Wedding Guests Evar We really tried to get going early.  I just wanted to say that for the record.  Hank, Lily and Clay were staying at the Fair, but the rest of us had to attend the wedding of John Guliak and Christine Ferguson.  I had to get to Edmonton especially early (3:00) because I was the best man.  With this in mind, we did our best to hit the road by 10:00 (counting on a four-hour drive and then an hour to clean up and make ourselves presentable).  Didn't happen.  We got going around 11:30, and even though I matted it, we didn't actually arrive in Edmonton until 3:00.  When we arrived, we were a mess.  It's amazing how quickly one can degenerate from (vaguely) civilized to a smelly, dirty, bearded caveman...   covered head to toe in mud.  Amy was not much better.   After what amounted to a quick hosing down, we tore off the wedding, which took place in the Guliak/Ferguson backyard.  I will state for the record here, and for all time, I was a terrible, terrible best man.   John, if you ever read this...   I'm terribly sorry.  When I arrived at the lovely family event, I was wearing a badly wrinkled suit...   a mud and blood stained shirt...   muddy, scuffed combat boots...   I had a patch of beard the size of a toonie on my chin that I had missed when I shaved...   and I had bumped my head on the trunk of my car, and there was blood trickling down my face.  On top of this I was hungover, burned out, stupid and had a hacking cough from all the cigarettes and campfire I had inhaled at the Fair.  Amy was not quite the freakshow I was, but later in the evening she finally realized that one of her shoes was a significantly different colour than the other. The reception featured a table full of Edmontonians glued to the Oilers Stanley Cup game on a portable TV.  They did a pretty good job of not yelling and swearing too loud while the speeches were going on.  The Oilers won, and once again Edmonton exploded.  Even though we were well away from Whyte Avenue on this occasion, you could still hear all the horn honking and general brouhaha.  The reception also featured the long awaited reunion of The Fixin's, a band that John had been in with Carolyn, Dave and Garth back in the olden days. At the end of the evening, I got chewed out by Christine's mother for not having had the courtesy to introduce myself.  She was right to do so, most best men can do better than that.

June 18  Edmonton - Edson At Least It's Not Raining I was very pleased to find out, when I woke up, that I was now sick.   Yesterday's cough was not entirely attributable to smoking my face off; it was actually a precursor to a foul illness.  At least we are on our way home now, and although it will be a long drive, we were all promised a couple of evenings in a luxury ski chalet near Kamloops with a hot tub.  Our plans, as you might have guessed, were of the pipe variety.   About two hours out of Edmonton, in the middle of nowhere, we blew a tire.  No biggie...   we pulled over, and I set about getting out the spare tire (which was a real spare tire and not one of those stupid tiny ones).  Unfortunately, at this point Amy and Carolyn noticed that there was a lot of steam coming out from under our hood.  A quick inspection revealed that simultaneously to blowing our tire, our radiator had developed a large crack.  We (well, the ladies, actually) were soon able to flag down a guy with a cell phone and we were able to get BCAA to send out a tow truck. Don, the tow truck driver informed us that we would need to go to Edson, the nearest town.  He also informed us that as "basic BCAA" members the first 5 kilometers of towing was free.  It was approximately 80 kilometers to Edson.  Although expensive, Don's company on the tow was pretty cool.  He was widower who just drove a tow truck all day long, and when he wasn't driving the truck he tried to "drink Canada dry".  He told us stories about hunting foxes in Virginia ("the poor hounds would come back from the hunt just covered in ticks").  He also told us how, when he was younger and was doing some farming in Alberta, he killed two (or perhaps three) birds with one stone by running a big water hose into the gopher holes on his land and thereby irrigated his field at the same time as he drowned the gophers.  Those that didn't drown were easy to shoot. We got into Edson (Home of the Giant Squirrel), dropped off the car at a repair shop (which was closed for the day) and left a note telling them what we required.  We found a hotel, The Odyssey (We Sell Sleep), and fortunately got the last room, although we were informed that no rooms would be available tomorrow (big oil patch convention, or something).   With nothing else to do, we bought booze and watched TV.  As we lounged around, we did our best to look on the bright side of things.  In this case, the bright side was that, for the first time on the entire tour, it didn't rain a drop all day long.  Still, there is the nagging suspicion we should be in a hot tub.  Gwyneth's crew is.  

June 19  Edson - Hinton Gimme A One Way Ticket To Hinton We got the call first thing in the morning.  The repair shop wouldn't be able to fix our car for a couple of days.  Apparently they needed to order a new radiator from Edmonton.  It would also cost around $600.   Considering we wouldn't be able to get a hotel room in Edson tonight...   combined with the fact that we sure as hell didn't want to stay in Edson for two more days, we decided to call all the places in town.  A bunch of brain dead yokels basically told us the same thing...   2 days, lotsa $$$, and really they had better things to do.  Carolyn, on a whim, started checking a bit more afield.  In Hinton, the next town down the road, there was a guy who specialized in radiators.  He figured that if we could get the radiator out of our car, and bring it to him...   he could fix it, and for significantly less money.  When we told him that getting the radiator out of the car was beyond our abilities at the moment, he said that, in our case, he could probably take the radiator out himself.  All we'd have to do is get the car to Hinton.  Once again, BCAA was called.  I tried signing up for a Premium Membership, which would have entitled us to 100 kilometers of towing, but they're smart, upgrades don't apply to preexisting conditions.  So it was a 100 kilometer tow (first 5 free) and the tow truck driver wouldn't take all three of us. Carolyn and Amy went with him, and I hung around town until I could catch a Greyhound bus to Hinton.  I've been a lot of places in my life, but they don't get much worse than the Greyhound bus station in Edson, Alberta.   When I finally got to Hinton, I found a note stuck to the door of the Greyhound bus station there informing me that Larry (the radiator guy) would not be able to repair our radiator (stupid plastic radiators), but he would be able to replace it...   he could have it done before noon tomorrow...   and it would be about half as expensive as any other quote we had gotten.  The note also said that Amy and Carolyn were holed up with some beer and wine at a hotel not too far away.  We spent the evening drinking and watching the Oilers lose the Stanley Cup on TV.  We should be in a hot tub...   Hank and Lily are in the promised hot tub tonight.

June 20 Hinton -  Sun Peaks Finally, The Hot Tub Larry was a man of his word, and at 11:00 AM; the Hong Kong Lady was once again ready to hit the road.  After a couple of days of enforced inertia, it was really good to get back on the road again.  We were going to take the Yellowhead to the ski chalet, because at this point we were damned if we weren't going to get at least one night of sitting in a hot tub.  The Yellowhead is a great drive.  The mountains were beautiful, and we saw lots of wildlife, including two bears (one a Grizzly) and an escaped bull that was just walkin' down the highway (he also had the largest balls any of us had ever seen on a living creature).  We arrived at the chalet, for which we can thank Bob, the local golf pro, who has connections everywhere.  For instance, he helped scare us up a show tomorrow that Carolyn and Amy could snake their way onto. Luther Wright and his buddies, The Shiftless Rounders, were to be playing the opening show for the volunteers at the Salmon River Roots and Blues Festival (ever wonder whatever happened to Ten Years After?...   they're playing at the Salmon Arm Roots and Blues Festival).  Then we hot tubbed, and it was good.  

June 21  Sun Peaks - Salmon Arm The Best Connected Golf Pro In The Valley Another good drive through the Shuswap, and when we arrived in Salmon Arm, we found that Bob (who is amazing) has teed us up rooms at the best hotel in Salmon Arm (don't laugh, it was fucking amazing).  Our room overlooked a bird sanctuary; we looked right down on an Osprey's nest.   Pretty damn cool.  Amy, Carolyn and I were getting kind of worn out, and we made a beginner's mistake...   we forgot to eat, but we didn't forget to drink.  Still, it was a fun evening, and it was cool seeing The Shiftless Rounders for the first time.  Good ol' hobo bluegrass.

June 22  Salmon Arm - Vancouver Feel Like I'm Fixin' To Die It has been a long and tiring couple of weeks.  Personally, I was looking forward to sleeping in my own bed.  It was a pretty subdued drive back to town.  We managed to drop Carolyn off at the Ferry Terminal in time for the last sailing, and then headed home to die.