#heeseung thirsts | Explore Tumblr posts and blogs

seosracha · 3 months ago

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⸻ SAINT MATTHEW'S ACADEMY II

SYNOPSIS ⸻ heeseung feels helpless as you continue to deny him love, and give it to the one person he can't come to accept- park sunghoon.

PAIRING ⸻ sunghoon x fem!reader x heeseung

GENRE ⸻ rich kids au, smut, fluff, angst

TAGS ⸻ love triangle, cursing, foul language, underage drinking, degrading names, smoking, mentions of doing c0ke, partying, gaslighting, religious themes, obsessive behavior/thoughts, unrequited love, fighting (verbally), mention of physical abuse and blood, desperate sunghoon :D, making out, penetration, unprotected sex,

WORDCOUNT ⸻ 15.2k

PART ONE

MDNI. This is a work is meant for entertainment purposes only. References to products and brands are imaginary and not meant to deprecate their image.

You close your eyes, repeating the words, painting the scene and your back in that room. Those words spoken with so much collapsed indifference by a person that didn’t care to see or talk to you again. There was no point in burdening your memory with the idea of him, the idea of a Lee Heeseung that in this universe, didn’t quite exist.

Yes- he carried his father’s surname, his name Heeseung- meaning bright and successful. Those were the things that would never change, the things he could never replace or hide. He would always and forever be remembered as Lee Heeseung, son of the hotel giants, and brother of Lee Haejun, the family heir.

For all his miserable and lonely life he struggled to create a name for himself. For all the 19 years he managed to wrestle with life, the fate stayed the same. He wanted his parents to think of him in any way, even if it was bad, even if it meant he’d be a failure in their eyes. He craved to be something more, something beyond the body he was born in.

Winter wasn’t his favourite season. He hated wearing a puffer jacket, long socks and heavy boots. He hated the additional weight of all these things with the already pre existing heaviness of his being itself.

You liked winter- he knew that. He knew how happy it made you to catch a snowflake that’d melt away within seconds of meeting your warm hand. Heeseung also knew he probably ruined it for you on that night- 22 of December, the day that welcomed winter.

He hasn’t really spoken to his friends since that night- his phone’s been on silent mode and his house, abandoned by him for now. Usually he’d enjoy this, maybe even have a friend join him, but this winter break, the vacation felt insufferable.

Warm Sydney, Australia, the colour of the inside of his hand almost as light and soft as the skin of his neck and the underside of his forearms, which were rarely exposed to the sun. He remembers how 2 years ago, just a month or two later he was here with Sunghoon, lounging around and sleeping off the scorching heat until one of them finally suggested they should go to the rocks to swim.

Well this year, he couldn’t quite find himself leaving the white sheets. Heeseung had left so many things unsolved back home, and he feared that by the time he’s back- it’d be too late. He’d leave the air conditioner blasting all day and night, his thoughts running off to all the things he did wrong.

Maybe he shouldn’t have told you, maybe he shouldn’t have asked his friend for help, maybe he should’ve just left you alone. But how could he- it was stronger than him.

While the summer in Australia left an unquenchable thirst for more, winter in his hometown was as quiet as ever.

The inexplicable animosity hung heavy in the air as you, and everyone else went about their life, trying to forget yesterday, and live with the thought of tomorrow.

You spent most of your days alone. Sometimes, Jake would drop by. Or Jay. It depended on who made an excuse that day.

In the midst of a fiery conflict, you found comfort in them. The same people who encouraged behaviour that led you here. It was all broken anyway, so was there really a point in finding the lesser evil?

Neither of them have spoken to the two boys. Maybe they didn’t want to take sides or maybe, just maybe all of them were waiting for the right moment to end this. This wasn’t friendship, not in the slightest. It was jealousy and competition.

Trying not to think about it came out to be much easier. Only the countless texts reminded you. The unanswered calls, disconnected lines and unspoken words.

No more words, you said no more words after his confession. You stayed silent, and that pain flooded you today. The silence stayed with you. Every night you’d spend on a phone call with him, laughing because no matter how hard you begged him, he wouldn’t hang up first, was now filled with heavy breaths and drowning darkness.

Sunghoon hadn’t gone anywhere this winter. He was supposed to- the first class tickets to Sri Lanka already booked by his mother. When she knocked on his door, 12 hours before they were supposed to leave, he told her he'd fallen ill. Very ill.

Before Heeseung blocked his number, he sent him a short message. Sunghoon sat in a cold corner on the white bathroom tiles, reading the message. It was enough to let him know that it was over. And even though the unyielding pain in his stomach grew stronger, a small smile twitched at the corner of his bloody lips. He tried to reply, but the text went green.

When Heeseung first asked him for that favour, he assumed it was just another sick way for him to assert his dominance over you. Another way to make sure you knew Heeseung created what you are today, and no matter what, you’ll always have a piece of him. Sunghoon never thought the boy would tell you the truth in the end.

Two days before New Years Eve, Jake texted you.

“Is your brother home?”

He also attached a photo, indicating that he was already in the area.

“No”

The simple reply quickly sent through, and without even checking for another response you flip the phone over.

Each sound, each notification, you hoped it was from one of them. Heeseung never turned off his location sharing, so you already knew he wasn't around. Sunghoon, well, you had no idea.

You didn't really know anything about him. How he went about his day, before and after school or on vacation or just on a simple Saturday. You didn't know his favorite color, his favorite food or his favorite song.

It was never easy to talk to him- he didn't share much or make space for new people in his life. You rarely saw him enjoy things or even crack a smile at the jokes his friends made. That’s exactly what made it hard to figure out if he really meant the things he said and did.

Your doorbell rings. You turn your phone and see another message from Jake, indicating he’s here. It didn't take him longer than 5 minutes to get here.

“Hey” you scratch the back of your head, welcoming him in. He’s not awkward in the slightest, kissing your cheek as he enters.

Jake hasn't been the same since. You can’t quite remember if he’s always been like this or did his friendship with the boys actually influence him that badly.

Something you always noticed about Jake is how easily influenced he really was. It took one word, one word and he’d be at Heeseung’s feet just waiting to do whatever the boy wanted. He tried so hard to impress them, he fell through with everything in his life- his grades faltered, his relationship with his parents started to rot, and his self respect declined with every passing day. He ruined himself for them.

Jay wasn’t like that. He never really listened to Heeseung in the first place. And Heeseung realized that pretty quickly. They weren’t particularly close either. Jay had legions of friends outside of school. He didn’t need Heeseung, Sunghoon or Jake but in a way, they needed him. He stuck around because loneliness wasn’t a good look on him, and his peers at school, well, they weren’t quite fond of him.

“I brought wine” he announces and hands you the bottle of red wine that’s gotten quite cold by now.

“You know I don’t drink” you look away from the label, now focusing on the boy who’s fixing his hair in the mirror. He doesn’t seem to register what you said as a piece of his brown hair keeps falling onto his forehead.

He wiggles out of his leather jacket, hanging it on the clothing rack before taking the wine back into his hands “It’s only 12%. You won’t feel it” he ultimately replies.

He wanders off into the kitchen while you sit down on the grey couch. Jake doesn’t really ask, he never does. It doesn’t bother you, not as much as it used to at least. He searches your cabinets looking for wine glasses which after a short moment, can’t be found in any of them. He settles down for something less extravagant.

You wouldn’t even dare inviting any of them just a couple months back. You were embarrassed, their houses the size of your whole street. A lot of things have changed since then.

"Jungwon is hosting for New Years” he started, handing the glass to you. He sat down, his body facing you “Do you want to come?”

Yang Jungwon was in your grade. His father was a software engineer who developed his own app but also helped countless companies start theirs. Jungwon was the one who helped Jay start his long abandoned website. He always watched his father doing big things, he wanted that too. His mother was a divorce attorney, specializing in family law, charging around $500 per hour. She was the go-to of every miserable wife and all the tired husbands. Jungwon was a pretty normal boy- he grew up with two loving parents that got lucky enough in life to spoil him from the moment he was born.

“Who else is coming?” you ask, and he shrugs, gulping down almost half of his glass.

You look down at yours, uninterested. But before he manages to reply, you copy his action. It doesn't taste good.

“Probably the same people as always” he leans his head on his hand looking over at you “But from the people you’ll know, uh, Niki and Wonyoung are going to be there for sure. Sunoo probably has nothing better to do and Jay already told me he’s coming” Jake added after a moment and you nodded understandingly.

“Niki and Wonyoung, huh?” you laugh mockingly, downing the other half of your drink. You wonder how in the world this could be a pleasure to middle aged women “Sunoo told me she went over to Sunghoon’s house two days ago”

“Jealous?” Jake laughs and you raise your eyebrows.

“No” he repeats your action and you can tell that he doesn't really buy it. Neither do you. “I’m not jealous, Jake. They can do whatever they want”

His lips turn into a downwards smile “Sure, sure” he nods, and you playfully kick his leg. He winces at the action in a joking manner, before continuing “Heeseung and Sunghoon might be there too. So if you don't feel comfortable with that, you don't have to go. But me and Jay want you to be there” his tone softens.

How would it end up this time? Which one of them would say something this time? Do something this time? Or would they ignore you, just like they are now.

All you wanted was an answer. Nothing more, nothing less. You could even go by without a ‘sorry’.

“I don’t care. I’d have to face them at school anyways” you answer with a straight smile.

“Didn’t you hear?” he asks, painting your face with confusion at the statement. You shake your head, and he sits up straight “Karina’s parents are close with Heeseung’s, and she’s been saying some about him changing school’s mid February”

You are even more confused now. It didn’t make sense. Where would he go? It’s probably just a rumor.

“But you guys are graduating this year. That can’t be right” he shrugs, just as curious and confused as you.

“Yeah, I doubt it” you nod with a small sigh, looking outside the window.

The sun set so much quicker in winter. You barely got to enjoy the day before darkness settled. It was setting pink today.

“I’ll go with you guys. On New Years. Just, pick me up if you can” you say and he nods with a small smile.

______

On that same day, Heeseung landed back in town. His father asked him to come back in time for the New Years event he was hosting, once again.

“What a fabulous suit, truly!” a middle aged woman comments, amused. She has a wide, bright smile on her face as she eyes Haejun “Let me guess, Canali?” she coos, a smirk creeping at the corner of her lips.

Heeseung’s brother chuckles, the forced elegance lacing his fake smile “Both the suit and overcoat. It’s nothing special though” he smiles, and soothes down the cashmere mantle.

Lee Haejun runs a hand through his dark, silky hair, his posture relaxed in a ‘cool’ way.

Heeseung thinks it’s pretty humorous, the way Haejun is flirting with a 40 year old woman, whose hair is visibly turning gray. Her husband is probably somewhere in this crowd, trying to get closer to his father, just like all the other men who were lucky enough to even be invited.

The lady has been ogling his brother for the past 5 minutes, not even noticing Heeseung who stood right next to him.

He scoffs.

“Oh, Heeseung. I didn’t notice you” she smiles faintly, but her eyes don’t even linger on him for a second longer, already back in conversation with Haejun “Oh and this scarf! Haejun, you have such phenomenal taste!” she celebrates him again, and he just chuckles at her excitement.

Heeseung doesn't feel like standing there, looking like a fucking idiot that’s just waiting to get complimented on his Saint Laurent overcoat that quite frankly, was more expensive than Haejun’s.

He doesn’t feel like being here at all.

He thinks about everything; how these annual New Year’s dinners have ruined the holiday for him all together, how the man at the table in front of him has a giant bald spot on his head, how the hardbody on his right has pretty fuckable tits even though she’s probably in her mid 40s, how his mother is obviously having an affair with the hotels revenue manager, and most importantly, about you.

He hasn’t felt anything since that unlucky Sunday night. It was suffocating, to be so conscious of his own decisions. But just like he’d been a coward that time, he still was too afraid to reach out and apologize.

Maybe soon enough he’d find himself at your front porch, knocking on the door softly, a nice gift in hand, the smile you adore plastered all over his condescending face.

That’s how it usually worked in his life; even the worst of heartbreaks and fights could be resolved with a pretty bag, new sports car or nice jewelry. That’d work on you too, wouldn’t it? He’d ask one of the maids that looked after his home to pick out something she’d like to recieve, and you’d probably be satisfied with that, maybe even suck him off later.

Seeing you with Sunghoon enlightened something deep in his soul, something he’d never admit to himself. Heeseung didn't know if it was Sunghoon he was jealous of or you.

Sunghoon had experienced love in many forms throughout his life. A gentle and mannerly boy cherished by the women in his life. His kind, youthful energy seemed effortless—something completely out of reach for someone as weathered and unsteady as Lee Heeseung.

You loved him, he already knew that much. So why was it so hard for him to give that back to you, show you that he feels the same?

He was such a selfish person-he didn't want to see you surviving on your own, or not needing him just as much as he needs you.

Heeseung understood he could never give you the love you deserved. Yet, the idea of being replaced by Sunghoon was something he refused to accept.

His eyes wander across the dimly lit space, desperately looking for someone who could give him a reason to leave his table. But he couldn’t stand any of them. He hated their fake pleasantries, their overblown gestures, and the emptiness behind their eyes.

They weren’t here to celebrate the passing year, spread joy and excitement for the coming days.

All these lost, desperate people were here, hoping, praying to God that maybe this is the day his father notices them, gives them a chance to become as wealthy and glorious as him.

“I was thinking about Oxford, possibly this upcoming September” he picks up on Haejun’s words and if not for the people and photographers that seemed to be on every possible side, he would’ve punched the shit out of his brother.

Oxford, Harvard, Princeton, who gave a fuck?

He sighs again but this time neither Haejun or the lady in front of him pick up on his mannerisms.

He feels a sudden tap on his shoulder, the feeling making him jump back a bit.He groans under his breath, the sound inaudible for the one behind him, and turns around slowly.

He didn't expect to see Park Sunghoon here.

…

“They don’t have a nice bathroom to do coke in” Heeseung shrugs, nibbling at his bottom lip as Sunghoon breathes out a laugh at his inquiry.

He looks around the tiled, black bathroom, which is surprisingly empty. The light above the sink flickers in a weird way, and Heeseung wonders if it’s supposed to be like that.

“We don’t do that anymore” Sunghoon mutters, leaning against the cold, slippery surface of the wall, his head slightly slumped.

He looks up at Heeseung, his reflection much more familiar in the mirror. They are much closer than he thinks, the same worn out expression all over their faces.

“Yeah… Guess those days are over” he smiles weakly, although the growing pit in his stomach makes him feel uneasy.

He’s avoiding the topic, throwing random words in the air as his heart speeds up. Sunghoon’s avoiding it too. The words linger on their tongues but it feels like they're stuck. He can’t stomach starting a serious topic with his friend who's never been there for him in an emotional way.

“I remember that party so vividly” Heeseung chuckles lightly, watching Sunghoon intently through the mirror. The boy is avoiding eye contact.

“When Jay took a line and we thought we’d lost him, huh? I remember, yeah” he forces a smile although the memory is definitely not a sweet one.

Heeseung chuckles softly, his thoughts drifting to when they were actually good friends to each other. It wasn’t even that long ago, but so much has happened since that Heeseung almost forgot those times.

He felt it with you again. In a way you brought that comfort back to him with your soft spoken voice and tender smile. But with you, he was on the brink of inescapable change. Heeseung knew that everyday he was teetering closer to the end.

He looks back up at Sunghoon, and although his vision is slightly blurred, he notices that the wounds are completely healed now. The only tangible evidence of that night is now gone.

“Did it leave a scar?” he asks, his voice cracking. He clears his throat, turning to face Sunghoon, who touches the corner of his lip softly.

He shakes his head “No”. His tone is stony. He suddenly reminds himself to garbage the white button up in his wardrobe.

“That’s good” Heeseung hums and the silence overcomes them again. It’s uncomfortable and the awkwardness between them bears so much unfamiliarity. It’s such a foreign experience.

The tension grows thicker as Sunghoon speaks up “You know we can’t avoid it, right?”

Heeseung feels a bead of sweat trickle down his spine as he ponders the suggestion. What could he possibly say to make it better, to make it disappear? He nods and meets Sunghoon’s unrelenting expression.

“I don’t really think we could ever be friends again” Sunghoon says, his lip twitching slightly as the words finally roll off his tongue, the admission much more painful than he thought it’d be “Not when we both want the same thing”

“What?” The words sink into his bones, his flesh shivering as he searches for at least an ounce of discomfort on Sunghoon’s face.

“No matter what you told me that night, no matter how much you begged me to tell her because you didn't want to know how she’ll react, I know you feel it too. You said you didn't care, but you do, Heeseung. I care too” he explains, his voice stable. It’s almost as if he’s rehearsed this.

It came to him during that long awaited shower. As the water came over him, so did the realization.

“If you like it or not, I will keep on trying even if it doesn't work out. But either way, I think this is where it ends between us. I don’t want to be stuck on the idea that it could ever be the same” the air felt heavier with the tension that separated them.

The weight of his words hung heavy in the air. Heeseung never thought it’d come to this.

“You like her, right? It wasn't something to make her feel better..?” he asked, glossing over the fact that this exact spot set the end of their friendship.

Glossing over the fact that the relationship between you and him complicated his whole life. Yet a part of him still yearned for you.

“I’m not like you, Heeseung. I don’t tell girls I like them to make them feel better” he chuckled lowly as Heeseung's expression darkened, taking offense to his words.

Heeseung scoffed, not quite enjoying the cutting reminder of his bad habits.

“Do as you please, I don’t give a fuck. But I also don’t plan on making it easy for you. I don't give up what’s mine just like that” Heeseung’s words carry a playful edge, but there’s an undercurrent of expectation, a reminder of the shared history and intimacy.

Sunghoon turns his head to the side, a stubby chuckle slipping past his parted lips. His gaze falls onto Heeseung after a moment, the boy leaning against the counter with an indifferent expression.

“What, do you think she forgot? You think a couple racks can erase what you did? Bet you're not the one she calls everyday” a smirk tugs at the corner of his lips, as he looks at Heeseung’s changing face.

“You think that just because I wasn't here I don’t know what goes on? She couldn't give two fucks about you. You don’t intimidate me, Sunghoon” he retorts, his eyes dark as he pushes himself off the sink and shortens the distance between him and Sunghoon “Couldn’t even get past her underwear, fucking pussy” he whispers.

He nudges Sunghoon’s shoulder during his exit, scoffing angrily as he slams the door shut, leaving his once best-friend alone with the afterthought of his words.

Sunghoon doesn't regret it. He feels good. He feels the weight drop from his heart, his blood flowing calmly as his eyebrows don’t furrow in annoyance anymore.

He watches the door for a moment before turning to the mirror, adjusting his jacket and hair, smiling as he takes in his reflection.

_____

On New Year's Eve a car parks in your driveway. Your brother wasn’t home, and by the looks of it, he wasn't going to be any time soon.

You don’t really remember the last time you sat down for a meal with Eunseok. You couldn't blame him though. Your parents always repeated that saving another human's life will always be more important than spending time with family. Your brother would always stay your brother even if you started to forget the sound of his voice.

Jay enters your house first. You can notice Jake sinking his head into the trunk, looking for something.

The last time Jay was here his hair was still blond. He seems to have gotten a new haircut and dyed it back to black. He looked much softer now.

“Back to black?” you smile and reach out to grab his coat. It feels illegal to hold and hang his black Prada corduroy jacket. It looked so out of place next to your own coats that were all bought at basic chain stores at the mall.

“You like it?” he asks, quickly turning his head to check on Jake. Jay’s gaze falls back onto you, a soft glimmer in his eyes.

He changed. He wasn't the same misogynistic narcissist that you were initially introduced to. He became much kinder- a person you actually found yourself getting along with.

Jay came home extremely drunk on the 22nd of December. Screw walking a straight line when the boy couldn't even walk at all. Just like it had been unlucky for his friends, he too was met with his demise as his father sat in the living room with a girl Jay didn't recognize.

Probably his new girlfriend.

He was furious. He went through Jay’s phone that night- every photo of his son with girls in more or less intimate situations, every message between Jay and his dealers, every single bank transaction at the liquor store. He saw it all that night.

One word too much on Jay’s behalf, and suddenly, there’s a stinging pain on his left cheek. And before he can react, his father slaps him again. And again, harder than the last.

He saw himself in his son for the first time. He realized what he had done to his own, precious child. The look in his eyes, pure fear and disgust. They weren't much different after all.

“Yeah, it’s nice. You look good” you nod with a straight smile, and he looks a bit embarrassed at the compliment.

Jake finally runs into the home, a smile on his face. Without saying a word, you nod your head towards the now closed trunk.

“We thought the bottles shattered” he explained and you looked over at Jay, confused.

“I thought you were done with drinking” you asked, and he grinned sheepishly.

“Today is the last time, I promise. New year, new me, let’s say”

They walked around your home, visiting every room, every bathroom, checking every picture. You couldn't care less, focusing on getting yourself ready.

“You used to be emo?” Jake laughs, walking back to your room. You roll your eyes at him, knowing exactly what picture he was talking about.

“Your brother is really hot,” Jay says, leaning his hands against the backrest of your chair. He looks at himself and you through the mirror “You look hot too” he adds with a sly smirk.

Your only reply is a smile, not being the best at receiving compliments. His eyes stay on you for a little longer than they should.

“Jungwon just texted me,” Jake announces, his body turning in your fresh sheets. His dirty shoes have left marks on the white fabric, but he doesn't seem to notice. “Heeseung just arrived. He’s with fuckass Seora” he laughs along with Jay, while you try to process his statement.

It didn’t take him long to find your replacement. You remember the girl, having been paired up with her for a science project at the beginning of the semester. She was so beautiful.

“That fucking nerd? What’s wrong with him” Jay comments, and you realize how you too were once like Seora. Heeseung hasn't changed, not at all.

Jake’s phone rings, his eyes darting to the screen. He excuses himself, the call seemingly important as he leaves the room swiftly.

You are left alone with Jay who mindlessly scrolls through his Instagram homepage, liking and commenting on his friends posts.

“Can you help me?” you ask, and his reaction to your voice is almost immediate. He sets his phone aside, his full attention once again falling onto you. A hint of concern flashes over his eyes as your expression seems troubled.

“Mhm?” he hums, walking over to your figure.

“Can you zip this up for me?” you ask, turning around.

He stays silent for a moment, before brushing his fingers against the bare skin of your back, grasping at the slippery zipper. He carefully brings the fabric together, taking care not to pull too tight or snag the delicate material.

He steps back, looking at you, smiling warmly “There”

Whenever his sister would ask him, he’d flip her off and tell her to leave his room.

Jay’s eyes take in your figure, the way he’s never really gotten to see your nice body under all the baggy clothes you’d wear. It feels wrong to think about you like this, but it’s not like this is the first time either.

He may have changed, even in the slightest, but there was always that one person who was too late.

…

Shot after shot of vodka find themselves appearing in your hand as you down each one with a twisted expression. The people around you seem much more cheerful than you, and you wonder how long it’ll take for this alcohol to finally start doing its thing.

You turn to Jake, who’s been gripping your hand tightly, at least that’s what you thought. Instead of a smiley Jake, it’s Kim Sunoo who has been apparently keeping you safe. That would be all for ‘we want you to be there’.

“Going already?” Sunoo perks up, loosening his grip on you as he sees you trying to squeeze through the crowd.

“I just need some fresh air” you offer him a small smile “I’ll be back”

It’s 10:37. Only an hour and 23 minutes until midnight. By that time, half the guests won’t even be awake to witness it. You wonder what fireworks look like on this side of town.

Jungwon’s house isn’t that hard to navigate. It was big, but you imagined bigger. It’s mid-sized, maybe. You note how his parents have good taste- the mediterranean estate very much to your liking.

You find yourself on one of his acacia armchairs in the backyard terrace. Most people are inside. It wasn’t the warmest day.

There’s no wind today, not even snow. The temperature hasn't dropped below zero celsius this season. You really wanted the snow to fall soon.

You can tell from the corner of your eye that someone has accompanied you on the chair next to yours. You assume it’s someone just as tired as you, someone who's just counting down the minutes until midnight so they can get out of here.

Maybe it’s Jake. But you swore you saw him hitting up some girls on your way out.

“Want one?” you almost don’t recognize the voice. It’s been so long.

The person extends a pack of cigarettes in your direction, and that’s when you decide to face them.

You haven't spoken to Nishimura Riki in a long time. He doesn't even look the same. But it’s only been 4 months?

“I don’t smoke” you reply, and he nods, lighting the stick in his mouth, protecting the flame with the palm of his hand.

He hisses, exhaling the smoke. It blows in your direction, and you scrunch your nose at the smell.

“Where’s your sweet boy, Heeseung?” he asks, his tone mocking. You roll your eyes, exhaling deeply.

He laughs at your silence, but still waits for you to respond, taking another puff.

“We don’t talk anymore” you could lie but honestly, it seemed meaningless now. It didn't matter what you’d say, things wouldn't change.

“Lasted the longest. Can’t say I’m not impressed” he replied with a chuckle. Only God knew how much you wanted to slap the boy next to you right now.

“Fuck off, Niki” you groan, and he puts up his hands, laughing. He’s slightly taken aback by your candidness- he didn't meet this version of you.

Niki remembers you as the sweet, innocent and most certainly lost girl that had no idea what she was getting herself into. Now it seemed as if Heeseung had drained all that life out of you.

“I’m not here to make fun of you” there’s a hint of amusement dancing in his eyes as he still gauge's your reaction to his jab.

You hum, unamused “Sure”

He sighs, trying to hide the annoyance caused by your stubbornness. Niki throws what's left of his cigarette on the ground, crushing it with his shoe. Rick Owens, you note.

“I know you and Wony aren’t on the best terms but she cares about you. I do to” his tone softens “I just want you to live on your own now. Don’t let him take over your life again”

Niki follows all the patterns the stars are forming with his eyes, while you notice the sincerity in his face. Today the moon is barely visible. There was a New Moon yesterday, so tonight, not even 3% of the orb is visible.

“Why are you telling me this?” you ask, and he shrugs.

The air seems to vibrate with unspoken tension. Niki stays silent for a moment, because he doesn't really know if he has an answer.

He shouldn't care. He doesn't know you, and you don't know anything about him either. Jesus, if Wonyoung saw him here, he’d be on probation until February. But he saw this happen countless times and every single one stung just as bad.

“I don’t know. I guess I wanted you to know” he finally answers, a genuine glimmer in his eyes as they fall on yours for just a second.

You can’t muster up a smile. It’d be too forced anyway. You hope that the nod is enough for him to understand that you do in fact appreciate his words.

He doesn't say anything and neither do you. It’s mostly noiseless, apart from the faintest melody that flows through the cracks in the window. The only people out here with you are either smoking themselves or talking to someone on the phone.

You hadn't really told anyone what happened. Of course, you could probably tell Niki, he wouldn't forward it to Wonyoung or anyone else. You could call the boy many names, some better than others, but you knew you couldn't call him untrustworthy. He always kept his word, no matter what.

But you bite back your tongue.

“Nice chat, huh? Can I steal her for a moment?”

Lee Heeseung.

You’d be lying if you said you didn't want to see him tonight. You weren't wondering if you’d see him, rather when and how. He couldn't run away from talking to you, and well, it appears that he didn't want to anyway.

With what feeling would you look back on this moment? With sadness? With shame? Indifference, you hoped.

Would you regret it? Because maybe some things are better left unsolved, right? Sometimes it’s okay to not have an answer. You’ve already learned that firsthand.

It was too late, Niki already letting the older boy replace him on the armchair, his face filled with remorse, maybe even guilt as he walked back into the house. He only hoped that you were smarter this time.

You turned your gaze away, because he was looking at you, and it obviously flustered you. He saw your expression, and even though your face twisted in annoyance, you still wanted him to look at you.

It wasn’t him you hated, but what the two of you did.

The secret was forever meant to stay between the two of you. And as long as that’s true, it's always casting a shadow over everything good in you.

“How was Australia? Did you have fun?” you sounded unimpressed, and he noticed.

Heeseung felt oddly embarrassed to be here with you. He left you with no explanation, and yet you're still asking how his vacation was. Honest or not, he feels like half the man he was before.

“How did you know?” he asks, a glint of playfulness in his voice.

“You still share your location with me” you stated, and he nodded. He knew. You were the only person he shared it with in the first place.

“You check my location?” he chuckles, trying to alleviate the charged atmosphere. His attempts brought no fruit as your expression stayed the same- cold and uninterested.

“No” he can’t figure out what to say next. It used to be so easy to talk to you.

But you were the same when he first met you- stand-offish and unwilling. It won’t take him long to figure the right words out, he’s sure of it.

Heeseung doesn't know why he’s trying this hard. Maybe it’s because now he knows his friend wants it just as much. In what universe did Park Sunghoon have something Heeseung didn’t? Not in this one, and the latter was continuously making sure of it.

“Can we talk about us?” he finally speaks up after the prolonged moment of uncomfortable silence. He doesn't really know what ‘us’ was. Definitely not a relationship. He doesn't do that, never has. He just prays that you actually had something smart to say.

“Us?” you bark back a laugh, and he leans against the beige pillow with a sigh.

Heeseung had been willingly ignoring the messages he saw you sending. He could always disguise that as not wanting to talk about it over text. But in reality, he didn't want to talk about it at all. He just hoped that a ‘sorry’ would be enough.

“You know what I mean. Don’t be stupid” his voice is laced with a twinge of irritation. He didn't expect it to take this long for you to break.

“What the fuck are you even talking about, Heeseung?” you turn to face him fully now.

His hair is no longer dark red. It’s brown, almost black. And he has a completely different haircut. It compliments his tan skin. He’s also dressed differently. You can’t quite recall seeing him like this.

“Seriously, what do you want to talk about? It wasn’t real, not to you at least. So please, tell me what exactly it is that you want to talk about” his expression is a mix of annoyance and anger now. His jaw clenches as his eyes narrow. You surely allowed yourself to say too much, didn’t you?

“Careful, Y/n. Watch your tone” he laughs menacingly, standing up from his seat. His hands grip the sides of your chair, as he stares down at you, his face too close for comfort.

“Downplay what we had, and what’s still between us all you want. But you know it’s real. You might be wiser now, but you haven’t really changed. You still want it just as much” his expression darkens, a defensiveness to his voice.

All he did was see the potential in you, the spark hidden beneath your innocent surface. He fed that fire, helped it grow until it burned through them both. Heeseung taught you to be a woman. He didn't wrong you, he helped you.

Leaning in, he nuzzles your neck, his breath hot on your skin “So how about you quit acting all tough and just let me have you again, yeah?”

He no longer knew how to control himself. No one did.

When he was younger he believed in God. Even when he started at Saint Matthew’s, he considered himself religious. Maybe he liked it because it made his nights just a little less lonely, or maybe because it filled him with a sense of identity. He knew that no matter what, there’s always that one person, an otherworldly figure that will love him endlessly, have control over him.

And when he felt himself drift away from his faith, it became a saga of bad decisions after bad decisions. Not because he stopped believing, but because there was no longer anyone to control him.

“You must be out of your fucking mind if you think I’d do that” your lips are parted as he continues to brush his past your neck, jawline and mouth.

“Keep talking to me like that and you’ll regret it” he whispers with a sinful grin, his fingers reaching up to caress your cheek “Let’s just forget about what happened. You know I meant what I said”

“That you love me?” you laugh, and you can notice him bite down on the inside of his cheek. “Just leave me alone, Heeseung. Go find someone else and I’ll do the same” you try to be as calm as possible. He can’t know it’s affecting you.

Someone else? No, that can’t be possible. You are the only one who listens to him, you are the only one that’s there for every one of his requests. He can’t just let you go like that. It wouldn't be that easy to replace you.

“Sunghoon, right? That fucking prick, seriously?” he straightens his figure, letting out a frustrated sigh.

“I never brought him up” you mutter, and he scoffs.

Heeseung’s eyes slightly narrow, while his lips press into a thin line.

The silence that follows is heavy, filled only by the quiet chatter of other people that were out here with you.

“Please, Y/n. You can’t do this” his tone becomes softer as a pleading look decorates his features.

You don’t really know what else there is to say.

His words- louder and longer, were given a physical form and longevity as if they had a life of their own now.

It almost made you think you forgive him.

____

During morning prayer you saw him again.

He still had that lifeless look on his face, as if nothing had really changed at all. As if nothing ever happened in the first place. He was two rows in front of you, next to Niki and Sunoo.

You wanted to catch him looking at you, to have his eyes on you.

All the students gathered in the chapel next to the school at 7:30. Punctuality was key. Under no circumstances was tardiness allowed- those who dared to come in a minute late were not allowed to participate and got punished with after-school detention.

Heeseung knelt down next to you. You hoped Sunghoon wouldn't see it.

‘In the name of the Father, and of the Son, and of the Holy Spirit. Amen’

He signs the cross and so do you. “I missed you” Heeseung whispers, his hand softly brushing against your thigh.

“Don’t” you mutter back, swatting his hand away.

One of the students was leading today's Morning Offering.

You tried to focus on Sunghoon. Maybe his hair changed, or maybe his skin got tanner. He got a little skinnier, you note. Sunoo whispers something to him but he doesn't seem to listen.

“Stop,” Heeseung whispers into your ear, his breath hot on your skin. You move away from him, watching how amusing this is for him.

“What?” His presence is strong, the pull almost working involuntarily.

‘...Or does so much bad feeling accumulate within us that we learn to mold it into a big lump of emotions, with amnesties and pardons? Or does the presence of the other, who yesterday morning was almost like an intruder to us, become more and more necessary, because it protects us from our own hell?’

You can’t listen, you can’t comprehend. No matter where, there's something pulling your attention.

“Don’t look at him” Heeseung’s voice is firm, his eyes on you. He’s always watching.

After a short reflection is spoken, a brief moment of silence follows. You close your eyes, leaning forward.

"We pray for our community, that we may learn and grow together in love and wisdom," the intention is spoken, and after reciting a prayer together, the students start rising from their spots slowly.

Sunghoon’s gaze doesn't even wander in your direction. He doesn't look at anyone, speeding out of the chapel as soon as the prayer commences. You want to go after him, but Heeseung stops you before you could even fully decide on it.

“Don’t go”

You turn around, watching his eyes that are full of amusement.

Is he enjoying himself this much? Does this entertain him?

“Heeseung, stop it. It’s over between us, remember? Leave me alone, seriously” you don’t sound heated or outraged. Not even resentful. Simply tired.

He doesn't react to your words. He knows you don't mean it.

You knew he wouldn't stop. You knew that as long as he was here, it’d never stop. He was obsessed and giving up wasn't really an option.

There were exceptions though. During study break, or lunch you wouldn't see him much. Maybe because the repugnance towards Jay and Jake was stronger than his willingness to see you. It didn't really matter though.

The part of you that liked the attention made you sick. It was hard to admit, and you most definitely wouldn't tell anyone. After everything, you still couldn't resent him. The hate continued to only bring you closer.

“When is New York?” Jake asked, his fingers tapping away on his laptop.

Jake was failing in most of his classes and he was slowly running out of time. What he had already learned stayed with him, but now, he had to catch up on a whole semester worth of material.

“Next week? I think” you reply and he mutters something under his breath. You don't catch it.

“Such a boring destination” Jay comments and you breathe out a chuckle in response. What an out of touch thing to say.

“We know, Jongseong. You’ve been there, have an apartment in SoHo and plan on going to NYU” he knows it’s a joke, he’s learned to not take offense to such silly things by now. But no one really calls him Jongseong.

Only his mother does. He hates it just as much as he hates her. But this time- he savors the sound, how easily it slips past your lips and how satisfyingly it rings in his ears.

A small smile tugs at the corner of his lips.

“I’ve never been” Jake piques, and you murmur a ‘Me too’ in response. He doesn't lift his eyes from the screen- it’s almost like he’s glued in place. It’s only the occasional loud sound or cramp in his leg that makes him move.

The trip was only for juniors and seniors. It wasn't the cheapest, but Eunseok didn't comment when you asked him for the money. His worn-out figure just scribbled out a check and handed it to you.

The main point was supposed to be St. Patrick’s Cathedral. You didn't really care for the building. Jake didn't either. You two had already planned to sneak out for dinner and shopping while the tour went on.

“I’m rooming with Heeseung” Jake sighed, taking off his glasses to wipe them with his blazer “That fucking dickhead signed us up last week. Didn't even know until Mrs. Kim told me”

Jay laughed. He passed Jake wet wipes, noticing how the boy can’t get his glasses clean.

“I’m rooming with Sunghoon. Haven't really talked to him, though” Jay says, and you both nod.

A small smile creeps onto your lips “I’m alone”

You didn't mind at all. You could do whatever you wished without an annoying bitch telling you to go to sleep because ‘your phone screen is keeping her awake’.

“Can I stay with you? Please” Jake pleads and you shake your head almost instantly. The boy frowns upon seeing your reaction.

______

New York felt oddly familiar.

These faces- they didn't carry that sense of foreignness. Everyone went about their day without interest in what the person next to them is up to. You felt a good kind of loneliness even though you were never truly alone.

Little Italy and Chinatown were fun.

You, Jay and Jake managed to slip out for a second, sharing a meal at a Cantonese restaurant. The food was quite enjoyable and the ambience was great. Jay did complain a bit though.

That same night you went out for drinks. When all the guardians fell asleep, on cue, everyone sneaked out of their rooms. Heeseung, rooming with Jake, found out about the plans that he wasn't included in. Of course he still tagged along.

Jay mentioned that Sunghoon has been so quiet, it almost feels like suicide everytime they are in the room together.

“I ask him if he wants to shower first, right? And you know what this decadent bum does? Nothing. He won’t even reply to me”

He wanted to complain more, but Heeseung’s angered and ostentatious sigh forced him to stop. He only looked over at Jake confused before switching to a different topic.

The next day you saw almost all the museums in Manhattan.

Your feet were in so much pain by the time you reached The Museum of Modern Art. While Jay and Jungwon walked around pretending to care for the artwork, you and Jake sat in a corner talking and recording dumb vlogs.

“Say hello to Jake’s vlog” he laughed, shoving the camera into your face. Jake’s stupid smile could be heard from behind the screen, his amusement making the video much more adorable.

With an annoyed grimace, you shoved the camera away from your face. Jake was unrelenting and it made napping nearly impossible.

“We’re in some shitty museum” he said sadly, the tone complimenting his mock expression of misery “You know what boggles me? That my dear friend Jay is pretending he likes this. No one likes this. It’s all just ugly paintings that have a forced meaning attached to them”

“Boggles me? What are you, fucking 50?” you laugh, looking over to him. “What else am I supposed to say” his lips twist in a downwards smile.

“Just say ‘Hello’ to my vlog” he pleads again.

Rubbing your temples, a sigh escapes your lips again. You looked up at Jake before staring right into his phone camera.

“Hello” your unenthusiastic tone was menacing to Jake.

He gave you a playful shove “Happier” Jake commanded.

You look over at him wide eyed. After a moment of his unchanging stare, you plaster a forced smile on your face that doesn't quite reach your eyes.

“Hi” you even attempt a wave.

Jake laughed, and turned the camera to face him again. “That’s my stripper friend Y/n. Call me to book a lap dance. It’s real” he whispered, the camera too close to his face.

He turned the camera back to you. You shook your head as a lighthearted laugh slipped past your parted lips “Turn this off, Jake. You’re wasting storage, you fucking idiot”

Later that day the two of them offered to go out again since Jay had actually brought the keys to his fathers apartment. You declined.

Maybe you’d try to call your brother, share some photos with him. It surprised you to actually get an answer. It didn't last long though- 5 minutes in he had to hang up because of an emergency surgery.

You think about Heeseung. You think about everything, really. In the evening waiting for him becomes much more annoying. The thought of him becomes unbearable, because you’re not supposed to think about him.

Rejecting him was almost an immediate reaction. The idea of him was much nicer than having him there, so raw and real in front of you.

It was strange to him too- fearing the days where you were away and he had no idea where you’d gone.

Thinking about Sunghoon was much more grounding. Much more humanly and justified. His blank stare and cold demeanor, unchanging. Nothing brought you the answer you needed. You wished he’d look at you long enough to see that same thirst for life he noticed back in December.

A knock at the door sounds through your hotel room. It’s soft, barely audible.

It’s probably Jake, or Jay. You look down at the time and note that it’s a reasonable time for them to be back. They’ve been out for a good 3 hours now.

You open the door, and it doesn't really hit you at first. Sunghoon must've gotten the wrong room.

Your attempts to look calm are futile as your voice cracks “What are you doing here..?” he stands there for a moment, his lips parted. It’s almost like he doesn't really know either.

As you step back to let him enter, he hesitates briefly “You’re alone?” His voice is mellow. The dim light in the room casts a shadow on his face making him appear much more gloomy than usual.

You nod reluctantly. Your gaze is on him, searching, as if asking for permission to speak, continue.

There's a moment of deep silence. It isn't uncomfortable or awkward. He's in your presence and you're in his. That seems to be enough to console the immediate tranquility.

“Do you like it here?” he asks and it seems to strike you as unusual. He never really bothered to converse with others unless they initiated it.

The scene is oddly familiar. He sits next to you on the bed, propping his body up on his hands. Just like you were immensely aware of each other's closeness that night, it's the same today.

This time though it seems like it's Sunghoon's turn to find excuses to avoid the topic. And you let it happen.

“Yeah. It’s fun” you nod, and so does he. Against your will you ask a question that in different circumstances, wouldn't even make it past your throat- “Are you hiding from me?”

Sunghoon’s heart skips a beat as he looks down at your hand. It’s dangerously close to his thigh “No, not from you” his answer is hesitant.

“It feels like it” he bites the inside of his cheek at your words.

His fingers play with the fabric of your white sheets “Maybe in a way I was” his voice softens, his eyes scared to look at you.

“In what way?” you mutter. The air feels ominous, as if you're both threatening the unchangeable.

“You know” he starts, his hand reaching closer “I was afraid to be denied”

Sunghoon saw you call, his finger hovering over the answer button many times as he wondered what he’d even tell you. There were so many things he wanted to say. So he’d just flip the phone over.

Today he was braver. Or at least that’s what he thought. Because being eye to eye with you again, stripped him of it all.

“I thought you knew I wouldn't. I called you. And texted, a lot” you answered, and his lips pressed into a straight line.

His touch is tentative. Eventually, he reaches out towards you, his warm hand takes yours, interlacing your fingers “And I should’ve answered. I’m sorry. For not being more” he looks at you again, the warmth in his eyes genuine “Because I know you wanted me to be more”

Tears prick at the corner of your eyes. You laugh “This is so stupid”

You halt the tears from spilling down your cheeks. Sunghoon’s lips form into a small smile “It’s not”

You look down at your fingers intertwined. He’s looking too.

You can hear some girls stumble their way into the room next to yours. Judging by the voice, you think it’s Minjeong. She says something about a 45 year old man coming to see her soon. She also seems to be begging her friend for one more drink ‘Last one, promise! I’m not drunk enough, Ning!’

Sunghoon doesn't say anything until the commotion dies down. Neither do you.

“Sloshed at 11. Crazy work” he chuckles, and so do you. You nod, thinking that Jake is probably somewhere in a corner, throwing up. He was definitely not the drinker everyone made him out to be.

He leans in closer, his eyes just for a moment searching yours for acceptance. His head falls down on your shoulder.

“Hoon?” your voice is just above a whisper.

He hears it again. It’s just as nice as it was back then. The sound is almost natural. He thinks you were made to call out to him. In contrast to last time, he’s much more optimistic.

He hums, ushering you to continue “Did you mean it?” He doesn't need you to explain, because he knows exactly what you're referring to.

A small laugh slips past his lips “I think me being here right now answers that one for you” he rises from the softness of your shoulder slowly, savoring the intimacy. A small smile forms on your lips at his words.

Pulling back, your eyes fall onto him again. Being with Sunghoon was so easy.

He pats his lap gently. His eyes are soft, almost begging “Come here” he whispers. The words are heavy with longing. They mingle in the air for just a second longer.

You nod after a moment of hesitation. As you settle onto him, his arms weave around your waist. He draws you into his warmth with his delicate touch. His face nestles into the hollow of your neck as he breathes softly, melting into the comfort of your presence.

Something seemed to have removed the distance between you and Sunghoon, and for a moment you had the impression that there was absolutely no difference in wealth, age or anything else between you. It was a wonderfully free and unleashing moment where you weren’t really expected to be anything.

“I’m sorry” he sounds shy, almost embarrassed.

Sunghoon was never the type to apologize. He’d rather let the conflict simmer down on its own without any further interference. Yet here he was- being vulnerable and honest.

“You already apologized” you smile, your fingers tangled in his hair.

He chuckles lightly “Once is not enough” he mutters into your skin, the sound muffled. You feel his wet lips move against your neck.

He raises his head, looking down at you again. “Can I kiss you?”

A sense of contentment washes over you. You nod, lips parted, waiting for him.

He gently tilts your chin up, his gaze flickering between your eyes and your lips. A soft breath escapes you before he finally captures your lips in a deep, consuming kiss. It quickly grows messy, his hand sliding to the back of your neck. You grasp the neckline of his shirt as his tongue teases the seam of your mouth—seeking, almost begging for entrance.

Sunghoon pulls back, his breathing heavy, his lovesick eyes locked onto you. His lips glisten, slick with your desire.

He presses a trail of open-mouthed kisses along your neck, working his way down to your chest. You watch him through heavy lids, a teasing smile playing on his lips.

“So pretty,” he murmurs, his voice low and rough. His hands slide beneath your shirt, fingers caressing your smooth skin. “Undress for me, please.” There’s a hint of desperation in his words as he tugs at the fabric.

You smile, cupping his cheek. Your thumb glides over his lips, gently parting them. “I don’t know…”

He whimpers quietly, grinding his clothed erection against you. “Don’t tease me. I need to see you.” His movements grow more frantic, his hands grasping at you like he’s desperate to feel every inch.

His face flushes with excitement as you hook your fingers under the hem of your shirt. “Want me to take this off?”

“Fuck, yes.” He nods eagerly, eyes devouring your every movement. One hand drifts down, palming himself through his pants as he watches, entranced.

With slow, deliberate motions, you peel the fabric from your body and toss it onto a nearby chair. His eyes widen with each inch of skin revealed.

“You’re desperate,” you tease, replacing his hand with your own. A feathery moan slips from his lips.

He throws his head back. “Is it obvious?” he breathes, and you confirm with a hum.

“I don’t care,” he admits, his eyes slipping shut as he pushes into your palm, eager for more.

Sunghoon thought about this all the time. He felt like such a pervert, but God, it was finally happening—and it was so much better than he ever imagined.

Last time, he was so close. Ten more minutes and a locked door, and he would’ve had you. Heeseung might have been the first to have you, but Sunghoon planned to be the one who had you best. He’d make you come over and over again until you forgot all about Lee Heeseung.

And judging by the way you were looking at him, it was already starting to work.

“I really need to fuck you,” he groans, biting his lower lip. His breathing is uneven. “So bad.” His fingers trail up your thigh, his touch light, pleading.

“Yeah?” You let out a small laugh, climbing off his lap. Your hands find the soft material of his pants.

He lifts his hips immediately, watching intently as your fingers slide the fabric down his legs.

Sunghoon can feel his heartbeat quickening, his whole body trembling with anticipation. You didn’t know he could get like this. You also didn’t know you’d like it so much.

His breath hitches when you toy with the waistband of his boxers, his legs spreading involuntarily. “Take them off, pretty,” he rasps, his voice cracking. “See how hard I am for you.”

You bite the inside of your cheek, slipping his underwear down. He groans as the fabric slides along his length, his cock springing free.

You prop yourself up on one hand, the other lingering around his thick, leaking length. “Want me to touch you?”

He exhales sharply, his cock twitching against his lower abdomen. “Mhm.” He props himself up on his elbows, eyes dark with need. “Please.”

You press your palm against his tip, moving in slow, circular motions. His breath turns ragged as he throws his head back, surrendering to the feeling.

As your confidence grows, so does your pace. Your hand strokes him, faster, firmer. He pants lightly, looking down at you through half-lidded eyes. “Ride me.”

You smirk and nod, slipping out of your shorts, fingers teasing the waistband of your underwear. He bites his lip, eyes smoldering with lust as his legs spread wider in invitation.

“Take them off me,” you whisper.

He looks up at you, almost as if seeking permission, before ripping the material away.

He’s so desperate to feel you, to touch you, that he wastes no time pulling you back onto his lap.

Sunghoon is mesmerized. He’s been with other girls before, but this is the first time he’s had to work for it. He usually just got what he wanted, no effort required. But now, with you, it feels like a reward. And he plans to cherish every second.

You’ve waited for this moment, savoring every touch, every lingering glance. Each look from him feels like a compliment and promise of something more.

He grips his throbbing length, aligning himself with your entrance. His other hand rests on your hip, steadying you. You can feel his tip pressing against you, and a low moan slips from your lips. He gazes up at you one more time, and you nod.

Slowly, you sink down onto him, your walls stretching to accommodate his thick length. A sharp gasp escapes you as you adjust, his fingers digging into your skin.

“Fuck, Hoon…” He keeps his hold firm, guiding you. “Like this? Is this what you wanted?”

“So fucking good,” he groans. His cock throbs inside you, hitting all the right spots with each downward roll of your hips. “Don’t stop.” His voice is raw with need.

He thrusts up to meet you, his whole body trembling as the wet heat of your cunt envelopes him completely. His self-control is slipping fast. If he had known it would feel this good, he never would have let Heeseung have you first. He would have taken you from the beginning.

You start to move faster, rocking your hips, pleasure building between you both. The sounds of your moans mix with the rhythmic slap of skin against skin.

“So perfect,” he mutters through heavy breaths. “You’re so perfect.”

Your head falls back as Sunghoon presses a hand against your stomach, feeling himself inside you. He grits his teeth, trying to hold back, trying to make it last. But he can already feel it—the tightening coil deep in his core.

“I can’t,” you pant, your walls fluttering around him. The need for release is overwhelming.

With those words, he loses it. He pulls you flush against his chest, thrusting up into you at a frantic pace. “Fuck—gonna cum so deep inside you.”

His teeth sink into your shoulder, leaving red marks in their wake.

“So close, Hoon,” you whimper, and it pushes him to the edge.

He buries himself to the hilt, a guttural moan tearing from his throat as he spills inside you, thick and hot, filling you completely. His eyes roll back as he comes, shuddering beneath you.

You’re right behind him, your climax crashing over you in waves. Your body quivers, collapsing onto his sweaty chest. His cum seeps from your still-clenching walls as he slowly slips out, savoring every second of your tight heat around him.

He watches his seed leak from your fucked-out hole, a satisfied smile tugging at his lips. “So pretty,” he murmurs, his voice hoarse.

With a sigh, he falls onto his back, pulling you down with him.

Sunghoon feels completely content, his fingers lazily tracing patterns along your spine. He can feel your breath against his neck, warm and steady, making him smile.

Today feels like the first day of his life.

….

The rest of the trip was unparalleled. For you and Sunghoon at least. Others could wish to say the same thing.

Everyday he'd attempt to sneak into your room at night. He even created a special sequence of knocks just so you'd be sure it's him. Jay didn't seem to suspect anything.

On Wednesday night while using the bathroom he said he wants to film a Get Ready With Me. Just like the ones he'd seen on social media. You laughed, and agreed. This was so unlike him. In a good way though.

You think about the unrecorded parts- how he stood in between your legs, his face twisted in discomfort as you clear his skin.

“Your lipstick choice is fucking terrible. Coral is not your color, Hoon” you smile widely.

His lips were terribly overlined. The brown pigment reached high beyond his actual mouth. Sunghoon looked so stupid, but to you, it was adorable.

“Do it for me next time” a fond smile spreads across his face. He holds your hand, his thumb tenderly rubbing your soft skin.

You look at him with a raised eyebrow “Next time? Didn’t know my princess liked getting her makeup done” he playfully rolls his eyes at you.

“Too far” he tries to hold back a smile, but his twitching lip gives it away “Keep going” he looks at the cotton pad in your other hand.

You nod, scooting just a little closer to him.

Sunghoon stood there silently, eyes closed. His body twitches involuntarily as your fingers graze against his skin. He feels your soft breathing against his neck. The warmth mixed with the soothing swipe of the cotton pad against his face, sends a shiver down his spine, as his body naturally relaxes against you.

“Gone” you smile and his eyes flush open. His reflection stares back at him in the mirror.

His skin is irritated, he can tell. And usually he’d freak out. But now, he doesn't seem to really care.

The doting look in his eyes searched your expression, his hands sliding up and down your bare thighs.

“You’re so hot,” he says. A small smirk creeps up on his lips as he keeps inching closer.

“Sunghoon” you glare at him, attempting to look serious. His soft laughter breaks the facade pretty quickly.

Without another word he presses his slightly stained lips against yours. He smiles against you, his mouth opening faintly. He reaches up to hold your cheek, chest pressing against yours. A moan escapes your mouth as he deepens the kiss. His tongue swipes your bottom lip before slipping past it.

During field trips he’d find himself drifting closer to you. And when free time came around, he'd run off with you to different parts of the city he once fell in love with.

With his arm around your shoulders, he’d point to cafes, restaurants, street art and even benches. He was truly happy. And even if you weren't paying attention to his stories, the genuine smile on his face was enough.

“No way” you gasp, the amusement evident on your face as you peel away his sleeve slightly “I swear Jake and Jay have the same one”

Sunghoon laughs, watching you analyze the ‘4’ tattoo on his wrist.

“They do,” he smiles weakly. “Heeseung has it too” you never noticed.

You always knew about Jay’s- it was on his right palm. Just recently you saw Jake had it too, hidden on the back of his neck.

“He does?” Sunghoon nods and points to his ankle.

It's almost been a year since they got it, but the ink has already started fading away. In a way, Sunghoon was relieved.

“We were so fucking out of it that night” he starts, and you turn to face him. “It was in Tokyo, I think? This girl we met, she was a tattoo artist” he looks down at it too and his eyes seem to light up “We thought it'd be funny “

You grab onto his wrist as he speaks again “My mom was so mad when she found out. She wanted it removed but I was such a fucking asshole to her back then, so I didn't listen” you don’t let go, moving your fingers upwards to hold onto his hand. He smiles.

“You look badass. Sort of” he chuckles, shaking his head.

“It looks bad and ass. And I swear her ink was from Aliexpress” he pulls you into his chest.

It was getting dark outside, but the city was only becoming livelier. Everyone was in a rush, but their ambition and passion was almost tangible.

“I’m jealous then. Matching tattoos, that's serious dedication” you smile and he laughs at the comment.

His chin rests on the top of your head, his breathing slow and steady. He watches the orange haze that falls onto the landscape.

“I’ll get your name tattooed” you hum and it almost sounds like you're judging him. He chuckles “Swear to God”

“You’re insane”

The next day he’d find a new spot to take you to. He was a better tour guide than your English teacher, you’d tell him.

And Heeseung knew about it all. To say he was angry would be an understatement.

He passed by St. Marks Place with Karina. The girl told him something about her sister being interested in him. He didn't really listen to her though.

So many people passed by him- maybe 40 in the span of 5 seconds. A lot of them looked similar. New York fashion is diverse, but it really just comes down to the same thing, he notes.

Yet he pays attention to them all, especially the two oddly familiar faces that stand in front of him, playing with a passerbys dog.

Until now, Heeseung was pretty sure he had the situation under control. He was giving you the distance he deemed necessary. Still, his eyes never left you. And when they did, once, but for a period longer than ever, you manage to find yourself in the arms of Park Sunghoon again.

Karina notices it too. He told her all about it, the whole story. She knew he was short-tempered so she never really told him that this wasn't healthy. It’d be on the tip of her tongue every time, lingering far too long for comfort. By the time she was ready, he’d change the topic.

“She’s being unreasonable, right? Tell me I’m not insane” he asked. His eyes focused on the last sip of whiskey in his glass.

You are, she thinks.

“You can’t just expect her to move on because you said so” she wants to laugh, but judging by his worn-out expression, he’s not in the mood for humor.

He scoffs. Why not? You never had an issue listening to him.

“I didn’t say so” he replies, and she looks at him with her eyebrow raised “I said sorry, Rina. What the fuck else is there to say?”

“Nothing” Karina’s reply is almost automatic “That’s really the thing, you know? Sometimes sorry isn’t enough” her attempts at ‘comfort’ are fruitless- his head falls on the table after he finishes whatever was left of his drink.

“Does this haircut make my face look weird?”

Karina would laugh it off. She’d just let him go on about his haircut, the shoes he bought today, Jake’s glasses that he accidentally stepped on and the stray cat that almost bit him.

She knew that it was a matter of time until he’d bring you up again. It was a cycle that never ended.

While you deny him love, you give it to the same person he’s been trying to erase. And in a way it’s his fault- he left the cage open and you walked out.

____

“Are you fucking serious right now? Two parents but still can’t slice up a tomato” Jay scolds the younger boy that was forced to help him in the kitchen.

“What does that have to do with anything?” Jake retorts, his expression tired as he gives up on the job completely. The massacred tomato lies on the cutting board which Jay swiftly takes over.

“Everything, Jake. Literally everything” he sighs, sending Jake away with his hand.

Dinners, hangouts, parties and suddenly everything fell into place. There no longer was the inexplicable animosity hanging in the air. It felt strange at first- the conversations and acts of kindness turned into something a lot more authentic and domestic. This is what you missed the most, it seems.

“You’re not getting into Harvard, fucking dumbass” Sunghoon laughed, digging his fork into the food prepared by Jay (and as he himself argued, Jake, who waited for the water to boil before dumping in the pasta).

“My grades are better now” Jake asserted “You’ll see, I’ll have the last laugh. Just wait” the threat and seriousness in his expression makes you chuckle.

“I’m gonna stay here” Sunghoon smiles. You look at him confused. You well remember him mentioning Princeton.

“What about Princeton?” Jay brings it up before you manage to do so. Sunghoon shakes his head, setting down his utensils.

“My step-mom is sick,” he reveals. You grab his hand under the table, and he squeezes hard “She’ll be fine, don’t worry. I just want to be with my family for now. Maybe in the future I’ll transfer” he adds with a smile.

Sunghoon has never been particularly close to his mother or his step-mother. It was a choice for him.

Jeongja, his mothers girlfriend, came into his life when he was 5 years old. She took care of him like he was her own. “Blood is not a requirement when it comes to family. I’ll always love you like a son, Sunghoon. Will you remember that?” she told him one day. He always thinks about that time. Sunghoon has always been so loved and he wishes he gave it back sooner, not when he was on the brink of losing her.

Jay feels a pang of guilt in his chest at his words. Maybe one day he could learn to love his mother again. Not today, not tomorrow but one day. He wants that, more than anything.

The day comes to a close soon enough, leaving you and Sunghoon to bask in each other's embrace.

His head is on your stomach, as you play with his hair. It’s grown quite long, especially in the back.

“Two days before New Year's I was at the event hosted by Heeseung’s father” he starts. You don’t say anything, allowing him to continue “I talked to Heeseung then. That was the last time, actually” he chuckles lightly. There’s a hint of sadness in his tone, but he can't quite tell why.

“You know he actually likes you?” it doesn't shock you like he expected it to. He doesn't comment on it though, letting you find the right words in reply.

“I know” you say, and he sits up abruptly, looking at you.

“You do?” He seems puzzled. It has been so long since he’s seen or even talked to Heeseung. He wouldn't know.

Maybe there is a part of him that misses the boy. He was his first friend at Saint Matthew’s Academy. He welcomed him like they’d been friends since forever. Heeseung put up with his initial shyness even when it seemed like everyone else couldn't anymore.

Sunghoon always smiles when he thinks about his first day. Lee Heeseung spotted him in the crowd, and without an introduction, swung his arm around his shoulder, talking to him like an old friend.

He introduced him to Wonyoung, his first actual girlfriend. Even though he wasn't on the best terms with her right now, even though he was with her out of convenience, the memory of their time shared together makes his heart just a little warmer.

Heeseung was the one who gave him a life. And he loved him, which made leaving 10 times harder.

Even so, he doesn't regret the decision. He knew it was pointless to live with the idea of his once best friend that wasn't really accurate anymore. They both deserved better than each other.

“He’s made it pretty clear” your lips form into a downwards smile.

Sunghoon looks away from you for a brief moment as he speaks up “And it doesn't change anything?”

“What do you mean?” you tilt your head in question.

Sunghoon exhales sharply. Even though he knows what answer to expect, there’s still that ounce of fear in him. Fear that stems from being second, being the ‘afterparty’.

“You still choose this? Even if you know it wasn't necessarily fake after all?” he asks even though he knows he shouldn't.

You smile, and pull him back into your chest “I should've chosen this from the beginning” he feels his heart grow bigger, a heat rising to his face “It doesn't matter what it was, not really. Didn’t you know I’d come back to you?” he chuckles and shakes his head.

“I’m happy you did” he murmurs, his eyes shutting. Your hand slips under his shirt, caressing the soft skin on his back “You know, if he ever made you feel worse than us, I hope you know it’s not true. You’re a good girl, and I always knew it. You deserve more, and I’ll make sure you get it, okay?”

You smile lightly, and nod.

You look over at the dirty dishes in the sink, messy dinner table, and sigh softly as you think about all the work that’ll have to be conquered soon.

But you let him fall asleep on your chest, and it feels good. Even if there's things left undone.

____

It was Jungwon’s birthday dinner today.

After the school trip you two have grown much closer. He would visit you during breaks or sometimes join you in the study hall. He’d even given up his seat next to Jay (who was surprisingly really good at the subject) in French class to sit with you.

Jungwon would talk a lot about his girlfriend, Binna. She went to a public school not far from here and met Jungwon during a student exchange program to Sweden. She’d always tell him what people at her school thought about the well renowned, enclosed community of St. Matthew’s. It wasn’t entirely positive, and since Binna was dating one of the ‘stuck-up dickheads that probably wipes his ass with $100 bills’, they wouldn’t really include her in the conversations anymore.

But you enjoyed hearing about her. Jungwon would ask for advice regarding gifts, places he should take her and things he could do to make her feel loved. And you’d always give it to him.

He showed you countless pictures of her, always struggling with choosing one “She looks pretty in all of these, I swear!”

Her brown hair covered her face slightly but you could still see her beautiful face. Big, doe eyes, plump lips that were rosewood pink. She had a scar under her right eye. You thought it made her look so stunning. Jungwon did too.

During his birthday dinner, you saw them together for the first time. It was almost like he forgot what he was here for in the first place, his attention on her only.

You sat next to Sunghoon and Jake. Jay sat next to Jake with Niki on his right. Heeseung sat across from you, Karina next to him on the left, Sunoo on his other side. The other people there you didn’t really recognize.

The relationship between you and Jungwon wasn’t the only thing that changed. A lot of things did.

“Let’s go back to my house after this” he leaned in closer to you. He didn’t have to even whisper, the conversations that surrounded you ringing in your ears. The music was loud too. You think Sade is playing, but you're not sure.

Jake, although currently arguing with Jay about baseball clubs, notices. He caught on pretty early. During a walk after school, he brought it up. “Back in the game, huh? How did you even get him to talk?”. He knew you wouldn’t admit to anything, but it was funny to watch you get flustered at his comments.

“Won’t you be tired?” you ask, and he laughs softly. Tired after eating a free dinner, and cracking a few fake smiles? This was like a day job for him. Countless dinners with his biological father, whom he truly despised, or CEO’s of other successful companies, or with Wonyoung and her parents (he hated those one’s the most). He’s used to it by now.

He shakes his head ‘no’ which causes you to smile. His hand lingers next to your thigh. He’s tempted to touch you, but Heeseung’s piercing gaze prevents him. He doesn’t know why. It’ll end soon, surely.

You look over at Jay who's now in conversation with Niki. It’s a little shocking to see them like this.

Niki never liked Jay, and Jay didn’t like him either. Even if he was meant to marry his sister one day (which he saw maybe four times in his life, but truly wasn’t opposed to- she was so beautiful), Niki just couldn’t care less about Park Jongseong. They seem to be laughing at something now and it doesn't look forced, not at all. It’s a rare view and you almost take a photo. You could tease him with it later.

Jake turns to you and Sunghoon, noting how the boy is much more talkative when he’s with you.

“I’ll be back” you say, and Sunghoon nods, watching you stand up. He wants to say ‘I’ll miss you’, but thinks it’s incredibly corny.

The restaurant is crowded tonight. You seem to be the only big group of people there. You smile while passing an older couple that’s celebrating the wife’s birthday, a small cake and a big bouquet in a glass vase on the table.

Warm water slides down your fingers, drips down your wrist as you watch your reflection in the mirror.

January seeped into February while you became better. That's what you want to believe at least. While the hair dye keeps fading away, you think about how Heeseung suggested the color. When you touch what's left of your lip piercing (only a healed scar), you remember how he picked it out for you. It’s not inherently bad to change yourself for someone, but you wish you hadn't become everything you never wanted to be.

The door opens, the creak sounding through the bathroom. You don't look up, instead shaking the wetness off your hands.

“Still scared of the hand-dryer?” he leans against the wall. His tone is almost mocking, and usually you’d laugh with him. But today, just like yesterday and the day before that too, you don't feel like talking to Lee Heeseung.

“Heeseung, I’m not in the mood” Your tone is flat and his expression- unchanging. “I already told you everything I had to say”

“Do I make you feel sick? Do you think about what happened between us and feel sick?” You're taken aback by his sudden question.

There's a moment of painful silence as he gauges your reaction. You look at him with utter confusion, but his expression doesn't seem to falter- he's calm, almost too calm.

For the weeks after New York, Heeseung went back to ignoring you. You wouldn't see him much either, as he spent most of his time with Karina or a group of guys from your grade. Sometimes, he’d look at you for a moment longer than intended. His lips would part, as if he wanted to say something, but he never did.

Heeseung started ignoring you, and for the first time since you met him, it was okay.

“What?” you choke out, and he doesn't repeat. You heard him the first time, didn't you? “N- No. What are you even talking about?”

He scoffs, his eyes on the floor. Your back is pressed against the sink as you wait for him to continue.

“Then why him? We were good together” he doesn't sound sad, or resentful. It's almost like the question comes out automatically, like it's standard procedure.

You want to laugh. He sounds robotic, his ‘apology’ most likely rehearsed. No matter how much time passes, no matter what happens and what doesn't, Heeseung doesn't quite get it. Not at all.

“I want someone who doesn't see me as a game” you speak and he doesn't fire back- instead he nods. “And honestly, I really don't give a fuck what changed in the middle. You should've told me then, not after we had sex” he cringes at the reminder.

Was sorry really not enough? He needs a breakthrough, but nothing seems to work.

The last time he felt like this was when his first real girlfriend broke up with him to be with his brother. They're still together- a stinging reminder of what Heeseung couldn't be.

He remembers begging her to stay, standing in front of her, a desperate look on his face “I’ll be better” . She just laughed in his face. He felt like such an idiot.

And it happens yet again- it's just never enough. He's never enough.

He sighs, his expression changing “Do I have to kill him to get my fucking life back?”

You look at him confused “I- I don't understand” he shakes his head. His body peels off the wall, as he comes closer to you.

“That dickhead has it. He stole my life” his voice is just above a whisper, his eyes darkening. You don’t reply, a look of hesitancy on your features.

His friends, his almost girlfriend, his social status- Sunghoon took it away. He stole his identity, everything he's ever worked for. Heeseung had nothing left.

His hand lands on your shoulder, his touch tentative at first “I’ll be better”

He watches you sigh, a twinge of sadness in your eyes that can't look at him. A flash of hope crosses his face, but Heeseung knows it's pointless- he already lost. A long time ago.

“It doesn't matter anymore, really” you finally speak “And I don't think I’ll ever be over the person you were before, Heeseung”

Heeseung looked like he knew this was coming. Probably because he did.

He could say some cliche shit like “You know I’ll always love you?” or “Can you kiss me for the last time?”, but he doesn't. He nods. Maybe because he knew this far longer than he'd like to admit.

Heeseung recalls the moment he first saw you like it was yesterday. He was being a douche, wasn't he? It always went the same- he showers you with compliments, makes you think he’s emotionally intelligent, and eventually he’d have some fun with you. He never knew it’d go this far, no.

Now, he hates himself for being so fucking stupid, so reckless. But again, he wouldn't be able to keep it a secret long. They knew, they all did. And time already showed him that they wouldn't wait with the truth. They just would, they all would.

He’s glad to be leaving soon. Changing schools was never his plan- but it no longer made sense for him to be here. He’s sure there’s nicer things waiting for him in Kyoto.

He’s sure there’s a better version of him there.

Heeseung wants to tell you that this stupid birthday dinner for silly, little Yang Jungwon is most likely the last time he’ll see you. He wants to tell you that those rumors about him moving are true, but he bites his tongue. You probably knew anyway, and you probably didn't care.

He hugs you, and you let him. You let him hold you, and you pretend not to hear his quiet sniffles. He wouldn't want you to see him like this. Deep down he hopes that maybe eternal return is real, and he’ll get to have you in the exact same way again at one time.

Heeseung moves away from you, his glossy eyes glazing over your figure. He moves for the door handle, opening the door. The world becomes much louder again, as the line of tables spreads out in the distance.

“After you” he smiles weakly, his eyes avoiding you.

You reciprocate the same weak, apologetic smile. Stepping out of the bathroom you don't look back, heading straight for the table you came from.

You could've kept avoiding it, ignoring the growing pain in your chest whenever he crossed you. But you owed it to him.

There's a flash of guilt on your features as you approach everyone. But seeing Sunghoon laughing so effortlessly and purely with Jake and Jay again makes your lips curve into a small, genuine smile again.

“Are you okay?” his wide smile doesn't falter as Sunghoon turns to look at you. There’s a bit of concern in his tone as speaks, though. You nod.

“Where’s Karina?” you ask, noticing the two empty seats.

They think it’s weird- you asking about Karina of all people. But no one bothers to really make a comment about it.

“She left with Heeseung like 10 minutes ago. Didn't you see them leaving?” Jake questions.

“No” your gaze falls onto Sunghoon again. He looks so happy, and free. It didn't use to be like this. “Let’s get out of here” you lean down, your face at level with his.

He nods, moving swiftly as he collects his belongings “Yeah. Let’s go. If you’re not tired” he grins. You roll your eyes playfully, shoving him softly.

He holds your hand, his skin so delicate and smooth against yours. His grip is tight, as if he’s scared something might take you away from him.

“Let’s go be tired together, yeah?” he nods with a smile, looking down at you.

And the bittersweetness of February 9th stains you like the blood of a plump cherry on a summer day. But it was always meant to be this way, you think.

1K notes · View notes

mssishipi · 2 months ago

Text

taste of indulgence - sjy, pjs

CHAPTER 1 — SO BITTER

Getting invited into bed with two insanely hot guys? A dream come true. Sim Jaeyun is everything you’ve ever fantasized about—soft, sweet, impossible to resist. And his boyfriend? Park Jongseong is the perfect mix of manly, dominant, and dangerously addictive.

So when they invited you to join their bed activities, you can't argue to say no despite of your situation. Who could blame you? They're insanely sexy and they're the ones insisting. They want you there. So why the hell is Jay acting so bitter about it?

warning: everyone is either gay or fruity, bi! jake, bi! jay, pansexual! reader, brief mention of: fxf, scissoring, open relationship, threesome (heeseung and his gf x reader). reader having a hard time enjoying actual sex, so reader masturbate like a man, she's so sexually deprived that she uses everything to get off, reader thirsting over jake, jealous angry jay.

explicit content ahead (smut): masturbation, threesome (switch jake, dom jay x sub reader), anal sex (mxm), fingering, cunnilingus, nipple play, dacryphilia, overstimulation, choking, pussy slapping, squirting, pain kink?, unprotected sex, throat fucking, dubcon-ish, biting, rough mean jay, MDNI. WC: 15.7K

want a taste?

You are so frustrated.

Why does sex feel amazing for everyone except you?

It's not like you don't know what it's supposed to feel like. You've read books, watched porn, listened to your friends rave about their latest hookups. They make it sound euphoric—breathless moans, trembling legs, mind-numbing pleasure. And yet, for you? Nothing.

Your first time was a disaster. The foreplay—if you could even call it that—was pitiful. The stretch burned. It hurt. It hurt so much that you ghosted the guy afterward, deleting his number like he was nothing more than a bad memory. Because that's all he was. A mistake.

Maybe it was him. Maybe he was just bad at it. So you tried again, this time with someone older, more experienced. Surely he would know what to do. But no—it was the same damn thing. They couldn't get you off. It hurt. It burned. And worst of all? It was boring. Uncomfortable, frustrating, infuriating.

You sit there, listening to your friends gush about their wild sex lives, their earth-shattering orgasms, and you can't help but hate them a little. It's not fair. It's not normal.

Is it a you problem?

You tried something different. A woman. Maybe men just weren't built to handle you.

And at first, it was better. You liked touching her, liked making her feel good, liked watching her body shudder under your hands. But when it came to you? The same damn problem. The moment she touched you, it was like your body refused to respond. Even scissoring just felt like raw friction, nothing more than skin dragging against skin. It burned. It always burns.

You're so envious of others—for actually enjoying sex, for having partners who know how to touch them.

Meanwhile, you're stuck in your room, watching porn, getting yourself off because no one else ever gets it right. No one knows your body like you do.

You've spent night after night touching yourself, pushing your limits, exploring kinks you never even knew you had. Your vibrator's been through hell—drained, recharged, drained again—because you can't get enough of the pleasure it sends coursing through you.

Six times in a single night, and it's still not enough. It never is.

You're pathetic, aren't you? Masturbating like some desperate, sex-starved pervert. Plunging your fingers deep inside yourself, chasing the high that no real partner has ever been able to give you. Watching porn, imagining yourself in the girl's place—wishing it was you being touched like that, fucked like that, worshiped like that.

And after nearly a year of searching, experimenting, you've realized something. You cum the hardest when you watch groups. Threesomes, foursomes, full-blown orgies—bodies tangled together, hands everywhere, mouths everywhere. The way they touch each other, pay attention to every inch of skin, despite the numbers.

So, you decided to bring that into real life.

You replied to a guy looking for a one-time hookup with his girlfriend—a birthday gift for her, he said. It sounded perfect.

You told them it was your first time, and the three of you set some ground rules. He guided you gently, his fingers threading through your hair as you ate his girlfriend out. She was beautiful, and you loved every second of making her moan, feeling her thighs tremble beneath your tongue.

It soaked you. This was what you wanted. Giving them what they wanted. Letting him use your throat, over and over, watching him fuck his girlfriend while you licked her clit. That was the turn-on.

But then, his fingers slipped inside you. His girlfriend kissed you, her lips soft, her words so comforting. And yet— It burns.

You winced, tried to relax, but it was useless. That familiar, infuriating discomfort crept in again, killing whatever arousal you had.

You pulled away, forcing a smile, telling them to keep going, that it was okay if they didn't focus on you. Because you didn't need it. They were your type—both of them, so hot, so eager. You loved watching them touch each other. You loved licking his balls while he fucked her, loved playing with her breasts, pinching her clit.

Your pussy clenched at nothing while you watched her fall apart on his dick, her face blissed out in pleasure you knew you'd never feel.

And just like that, frustration settled deep in your gut.

Maybe sex just isn't for you. Maybe it never was. And maybe, at some point, you'll have to accept it.

But damn, you're jealous.

"Awww, they're so cute! Look at them holding hands!"

Wonyoung's voice practically drips with excitement as she nudges you, her perfectly manicured finger pointing toward the entrance of the café.

You follow her gaze, eyes landing on the two men walking in. Their hands are loosely intertwined, their strides in sync.

The shorter one has a face that's both sharp and soft, his jawline well-defined yet not too harsh, his high cheekbones giving him an almost ethereal look. His eyes—warm and expressive—contrast with the straight line of his nose and the fullness of his lips, God, what a handsome man.

The taller man, in contrast, carries a striking, almost intimidating presence. His facial structure is all sharp angles and strong lines—high cheekbones, a prominent nose bridge, a jawline - a sharp 120 degrees jawline.

You raise a brow, turning back to Wonyoung. "What's with them?"

"Nothing!" she chirps, grinning as she watches them take a seat. "It's just refreshing to see bro luh bro together."

You snort. You steal another glance at the pair. The shorter one is laughing now, dimples peeking out as he leans in, nudging the taller man playfully.

Sunoo arrives, setting down a tray with all of your orders. He follows your gaze, his own eyes landing on the two men.

"Oh, Jake and Jay?" he says, voice dropping slightly.

Wonyoung perks up immediately. "You know them?"

Sunoo plops down beside you, nodding as he starts distributing drinks. "Yeah, Jay's our club president. Never thought they'd are together, though. I mean—" He pauses, lowering his voice slightly. "They sound so straight."

Your eyebrows shoot up, and Wonyoung lets out an exaggerated gasp. "No way," she drawls, glancing back at them with renewed interest.

"Swear," Sunoo says, holding up a hand like he's making a vow. "Back in highschool, Jake always had that... golden retriever energy, y'know? Friendly, flirty, kinda dumb in a cute way. But Jay?" He scoffs.

"Jay was the heartbreaker. Like, he had this whole nonchalant thing going on—cool, detached, gave just enough attention to make a girl fall for him, then disappeared a week later. Maybe that was just his denial phase."

"And now they're holding hands in a café," Wonyoung muses, poking at the ice in her drink with her straw. "Everyone is being gay right now."

Sunoo hums in agreement, shrugging. "Yeah, because life is better when you're gay."

You huff out a quiet laugh, finally reaching for your drink. "Oh, you got matcha, right?" Sunoo asks, sliding the cup toward you.

You nod, mumbling a quick thanks, but your mind is barely in the conversation anymore. Your attention keeps slipping, your eyes betraying you as they flick back—again and again—to the couple sitting at the other table.

Because—if you're being honest—you've thought the Jake guy was attractive from the moment he walked in.

Sunoo and Wonyoung have moved on, their conversation shifting into casual university gossip, but their words barely register. Your focus is locked on Jake, on the way he sits, leaning slightly forward, lazily twirling his pen between those long fingers as he writes something down in a notebook. He says something to his boyfriend, smiling as he does.

That smile. Those lips. Plump. Soft-looking, the kind that part just enough to reveal a glimpse of teeth when he grins. The kind that would feel so—

You bite down on your straw.

No. Nope. You are not thirsting over a man who very obviously has a boyfriend.

And yet—your gaze drifts lower, down to his hands. His hands.

Slender, long fingers, veins subtly running beneath his skin. Knuckles slightly prominent as he flexes them, tapping his pen absentmindedly against the page. You swallow hard, mind spiraling down a path you know you shouldn't be going down, but fuck, you can't help it.

Those hands—how would they feel against your skin? Pressing against your thighs, spreading you open? Fingers sinking deep, stretching you just right? The thought alone sends a pulse of heat straight between your legs.

And his nose—fuck, his nose.

It's perfect. Straight, slightly defined at the bridge, the kind of nose that was made to be sat on. Your breath hitches as a vivid image flashes through your mind—his face buried between your legs, that perfect nose rubbing against your clit as he eats you out. You imagine his hands gripping your hips, holding you down as you ride his face, your fingers tangled in his hair, your moans breathy and desperate as you grind against him.

Would it actually feel as good as it looks in porn? You wouldn't know. But it doesn't hurt to imagine, right?

You shift in your seat, heartbeat thrumming in your ears. Your foot taps anxiously against the floor, your thighs pressing together, trying desperately to ignore the growing ache between them.

But just as you force your gaze down, trying to pull yourself out of your own head, a chill runs through you.

You feel it before you see it. Slowly, hesitantly, you glance back up—only to lock eyes with Jay.

Fuck.

He's looking right at you, his brow raises just slightly, like he knows exactly what you were thinking.

Your breath catches in your throat. Panic sets in, and you immediately tear your gaze away, heart hammering as you stare down at your drink.

Great. Just great. Not only are your panties soaked, but now you've got a pissed-off boyfriend glaring at you.

You don't even make it five minutes before bolting.

Some half-assed excuse—an emergency, you tell them, whatever the hell that means—and then you're gone. Practically fleeing back to your dorm, heart hammering, skin burning with embarrassment.

The second you step inside, you lock the door, press your back against it, and let out a shaky breath. You strip any piece of your clothing and went to the bathroom, turning on the water.

The shower is scalding but it does nothing to wash away the lingering heat in your core. You scrub your skin, try to shake off the feeling of want, but it clings to you.

Even after, sitting on the toilet in just your towel, your legs still feel weak. Your mind won't shut up, replaying the way Jake looked, the way Jay looked at you.

You feel so guilty.

But it's not like you actually did anything, right? You were just looking. It's not a crime to look. You tell yourself that over and over, forcing the thought down, gaslighting yourself into believing it.

It's normal. Completely normal. You just found him attractive. That's all. Then why does it feel so wrong?

Your fingers twitch against your thigh. Your whole body is tense, wound up tight, frustration eating you alive.

You don't think. You just act. Your hand reaches for the bidet, adjusting the angle, fingers trembling as the cold metal rests against your skin.

A sharp gasp leaves your lips as the water pulses against your clit, and your head tips back, shame curling tight in your stomach. You shouldn't be doing this. You know that.

But you can't stop. You're so pathetic.

Since it was your third year, the number of students had dwindled. Some had transferred to different courses, others had dropped out entirely, victims of whatever existential crisis they were facing. It was just the reality of being a college student.

The college retreat finally arrived, and you placed your bag in the train's storage before settling into your seat. Sunoo, already making himself comfortable beside you, had an eye mask covering his eyes and was snoring before the train even began to move.

You sighed, sinking into your seat, plugging in your wired headphones to drown out the chatter around you. As music filled your ears, you scrolled through your phone. Your gaze drifted downward, watching your foot tap lightly against the floor in time with the beat—until something small thumped against it.

A small bag. Frowning, you pulled out one earbud, wincing at the slight tug.

"Be careful, babe," a voice said. You looked up just in time to see Jay reaching down for the bag at your feet.

"I'm sorry," Jake murmured. The moment your eyes met his, your entire body froze.

You couldn't speak. Couldn't even move. Jay straightened, holding the bag, his gaze lingering on you for a second too long. Jake, oblivious, apologized again before walking off.

But Jay? He didn't move right away. He looked at you one last time before turning to follow Jake.

You swallowed hard, your throat dry.

Slowly, you put your headphones back in, forcing yourself to relax against your seat.

Why the fuck is it so hard not to look at him? Who could blame you, though? They were your batchmates, your classmates, and you hadn't even realized you shared the same major until now. And they were so close.

And so fucking hot.

Both of them were, to be fair. But Jay was the one who would kill you with his angry glares.

Your foot taps anxiously against the ground, your teeth worrying your bottom lip as you fight the urge to glance over again. Don't look. Don't look. Don't look. But you do.

Across the room, your colleagues erupt into cheers, celebrating another round of drinks, but their voices fade into the background. You try—try—to engage, to smile, to socialize like a normal person, but your gaze keeps betraying you, flickering back to them.

Jake looks so happy. His face is flushed, his glasses fogging slightly from the heat of the room and the alcohol in his system. His smile is soft, a little lazy, dimples appearing as he giggles at something Jay mutters in his ear. He's a lightweight, that much is clear, and the alcohol is making him affectionate—leaning into Jay's shoulder, fingers absentmindedly playing with the hem of his boyfriend's sleeve.

Jay is the complete opposite—calm, composed, sipping his drink with effortless elegance. He barely reacts as Jake presses closer, only tilting his head slightly, allowing him to rest against him. His fingers lazily ghost over Jake's knee, a silent acknowledgment, a small show of possession.

Your stomach tightens. Your mind wanders, slipping into dangerous territory, conjuring images you should not be entertaining.

Is Jake a bottom? Or is he a top?

No—no way. Look at him. He's so soft, so giggly, so touchy. If you had to bet, you'd say he's the kind of guy who'd melt under the right hands, who'd whimper when teased, who'd take it so well—

Your breath catches. Fuck.

And Jay—fuck, Jay is so manly. So effortlessly dominant. He doesn't even have to do anything, and yet he owns every space he's in. You can only imagine what he's like behind closed doors, when there's no one around to see—except Jake.

What does Jake sound like when he moans? Would his voice be high, needy? Would he gasp, or would he whimper? Would Jay be rough with him? Would he tease him, make him beg, make him squirm?

Would he— You squeeze your thighs together under the table, your nails pressing into your palms.

You need to stop.

"I need some fresh air," you blurt out, standing a little too fast, the chair scraping against the floor as you push back from the table. Sunoo barely acknowledge your sudden departure, too wrapped up in their own conversations, and you're grateful for it.

You make a beeline for the exit, your cheeks burning, your pulse erratic. The moment you step outside, the night air rushes over you, cool against your heated skin.

You take a deep breath. Then another. The cabin's outdoor area is quiet, save for the rustling of tall trees and the distant hum of music from inside. The air is fresh, crisp, but it does little to cool the wrong kind of heat pooling in your stomach.

"Fucking hell," you mutter under your breath, slapping your cheeks lightly, trying to shake yourself back to reality.

What the hell is wrong with you?

Is this how dry you are? Years of masturbating, of getting off alone, of chasing something that never quite hits—has it really reduced you to this? To thirsting over a taken man like some desperate, pathetic slut?

You groan, dragging your hands down your face. You march aimlessly in circles, feet pressing against the dirt path, trying to ground yourself—trying to shake the images still burning in your mind. You need to behave. Your pussy needs to behave.

After a while, you drop onto a wooden bench, pressing your palms against your knees, forcing yourself to breathe.

"Hey."

A voice startles you, and you whip around, heart nearly jumping out of your chest.

"Oh—Heeseung," you exhale, relaxing slightly when you see him standing there, hands in his pockets, the faint glow of the lights casting long shadows behind him.

He smirks. "You look like you just saw a ghost."

You roll your eyes, smiling despite yourself. "Where's your girlfriend?"

"Inside, having fun with her friends." He steps closer, glancing at the empty space beside you. "Can I?"

You nod, shifting over to give him room.

He sighs as he sits, stretching his arms out along the back of the bench, tilting his head up to look at the sky. "Didn't think I'd see you out here alone."

"I needed a break," you say vaguely, not about to admit to the absolute filth running through your mind just minutes ago.

Lee Heeseung was the guy you met last summer—a music major with a healthy, happy open relationship with his girlfriend. You had joined them for one encounter, though nothing more came of it. After that, you stayed mutuals on social media, exchanging the occasional like or comment. His girlfriend, however had a habit of slipping into your DMs with suggestive messages, playful and teasing, making you chuckle every time.

"She misses you," he started, looking at you. "She was kind of disappointed, waking up and realizing you leave without cumming, telling me I'm such an asshole." He laughed, "well, maybe I was. I'm sorry."

You blink. Then, shaking your head, you wave a hand dismissively. "No, don't feel bad! It was a wonderful experience."

"You guys were amazing," you continue, turning to meet his gaze. "I loved watching you two, letting you use me, but I wasn't expecting anything. Seriously, don't feel guilty. I wanted to focus on her—on making her feel good."

Heeseung watches you for a beat, his lips curling slightly before he exhales, stretching his arms again along the back of the bench. "Ahh, I'm so glad I picked you." His tone is light, teasing. "You're really considerate, you know that?"

You shrug, grinning. "What can I say? I have a talent for that."

He laughs, shaking his head, but then his expression sobers slightly. "Still, I feel bad about that. I just thought—" He pauses, scratching the back of his neck. "That night, when you backed off... I figured touching you might've made you uncomfortable. I didn't wanna push it."

You blink. Oh. He thinks that's why?

"No!" you blurt, laughing, reaching out to slap his shoulder playfully. "It wasn't you, okay? That was totally a me issue."

Heeseung raises a brow, tilting his head. "What kind of issue?"

You hesitate. Do you tell him? It's not exactly something you go around sharing, but it's just the two of you out here. You think Heeseung has always been easy to talk to—never judgmental, just curious, open.

So, you sigh, deciding to just be honest. You tell him everything—how you get aroused easily, how your body wants it, craves it, but the moment someone actually touches you, it all goes wrong. How you can't seem to relax, how their touch feels too much, too uncomfortable. How it burns.

Heeseung listens, his brows furrowing slightly as he processes your words.

When you finish, he shifts, leaning forward, elbows resting on his knees. "Shit," he breathes, his voice softer now. "I—fuck, I'm sorry." His eyes widen, guilt flickering in them. "I—We tried to touch you. I slipped a finger inside. And you didn't say anything. I didn't even realize—"

You shake your head quickly, waving him off. "Don't feel bad."

"But it hurt," he says, like he's trying to wrap his head around it, his breath hitching slightly.

"Well, yeah," you admit, leaning back against the bench. "It burns."

Heeseung lets out a quiet, almost guilty laugh, rubbing a hand over his face. "Fuck. I feel like such an asshole now."

"You're not," you assure him, nudging him with your knee. "Seriously. It's fine. I wanted to be there. I wanted to do that. And I did enjoy it—I loved watching you two." You flash him a grin. "Plus, your girlfriend? Hot as hell."

That makes him chuckle, shaking his head again. "She is, huh?" He glances at you, eyes softer now. "But... you? You didn't get anything out of it?"

You shrug, sighing. "That's just how it is for me, I guess."

There's a moment of silence between you, filled only by the distant hum of laughter and music from inside. Heeseung sits back again, stretching his legs out in front of him, staring up at the sky as if he's thinking.

"I'm actually here to convince you to do it again with us," Heeseung admits, rubbing a hand over his face awkwardly.

Your eyes widen. "What?"

He laughs, a little sheepishly. "Yeah—uh, she said I should probably, you know, lick you as a take-back and propose the idea of doing it again because the sex was so good." His grin turns teasing before he sighs, shaking his head. "But... I don't know. I've been thinking about it, considering your situation, and my conscience just can't take it."

You open your mouth, unsure of what to say. "I—I..." You hesitate, then finally admit, "Honestly? I would like to do it again with you guys. It was a good experience, and you were both so kind—"

"But," Heeseung interrupts, giving you a pointed look. "I don't want to do it again knowing that you're probably not enjoying it."

"Hey," you protest, frowning. "I said I enjoyed it."

Heeseung groans, slumping back against the bench. "Still."

You laugh at the sheer misery in his voice. "What, is your ego that fragile?"

He gives you a side-eye. "Yes. Absolutely."

You shake your head in amusement. "So... what now? You going to find someone else for your little proposition?"

Heeseung exhales dramatically, staring off into the distance. Then he shakes his head. "Nah." His gaze flickers back to you, lingering for a brief second before he smirks. "Damn, though—you and my girlfriend are such freaks in the best way. It's hard to find someone like that. Plus, you're sexy as fuck."

Your lips twitch, amused. "Oh?"

"And your gag reflex?" Heeseung groans, running a hand through his hair. "Impressive. I'd rate the blowjob five stars, easy."

You laugh, playfully flipping your hair over your shoulder. "Why, thank you."

"But," he sighs, dramatically placing a hand over his chest, "I'm letting you go."

You pout, exaggerating your disappointment. "Awww."

"Yeah, yeah, I know," he says, waving you off. "I actually rehearsed a whole ass speech before coming over here, thinking I'd convince you to join us again —but honestly, I'd just be disappointing my girlfriend." He chuckles, shaking his head. "It's okay, though."

You exhale, feeling a strange mix of relief and... loss?

"I'm sorry," you murmur.

"Hey, I'm sorry," Heeseung says, more serious now. "Don't think I'm letting you go just because you can't get off. That's not the reason. I don't want you to be hurt, and well..." He pauses, his voice lowering slightly.

"There were... things my girlfriend and I discussed doing to you. But after hearing what you said, I don't think it'd be a good idea anymore."

You swallow, his words sinking in. Another experience, another opportunity taken away because of your body's refusal to cooperate.

Heeseung must see something in your face because he groans, rubbing the back of his neck. "Fuck, I feel so bad now. Can I make it up to you? Food? Something sweet for making you feel bad?"

You shake your head, a small smile playing on your lips as you look at him. "Is it okay if we kiss?"

Heeseung looks momentarily caught off guard, but then he shrugs. "Sure, why not?"

"Wait—doesn't this feel morally wrong? Like, cheating?"

He snorts. "You do know we fuck other people, right?" Heeseung raises a brow, amused. "Besides, she's the one who suggested I should eat your pussy as an apology."

You scrunch your nose. "Yeah, but I wouldn't enjoy it."

Heeseung clutches his chest, "Fuck—you don't have to say it like that. Even I can't please you, huh?"

You burst into laughter before leaning in, pressing your lips against his.

His hands immediately find your waist, gripping you firmly as he responds, lips parting slightly as he follows your lead. The heat between you builds quickly, the moment shifting as your fingers tangle in his hair.

You move, climbing onto his lap, your thighs pressing against his hips as his hands slide down, settling on the curve of your ass. His tongue flicks against yours, deepening the kiss, and he practically shoves it down your throat, savoring the moment and leaving a last impression.

And just a few feet away, standing unnoticed in the shadows beyond the cabin's back entrance, Jay remains completely still—leaning against the wall, hands in his pockets. Watching. Listening.

You don't even remember how you ended up in bed that night. One moment, you were locked in a messy make-out session with Heeseung outside, and the next, you were back in the cabin, drink in hand, relieved to find that Jake and Jay were nowhere in sight.

You actually enjoyed drinking with everyone. Maybe because you had let out a problem that had been weighing on you. Maybe because there were no distractions around the circle—nothing tempting, nothing forbidden, nothing that made your skin burn with frustration.

Even Sunoo—who could usually outdrink everyone—ended up absolutely wasted.

A loud, piercing voice jerks you from unconsciousness.

"WAKE UP! EVERYONE GET READY FOR TODAY'S ACTIVITY!"

Your brain screams in protest, eyes squeezing shut as the harsh sunlight spills across your face. Around you, deep groans of agony echo through the cabin, everyone waking up in a collective hangover-induced suffering.

You stiffen, you felt something heavy weighing against you.

Blinking, you squint through the brightness—only to realize Sunoo is wrapped around your waist, his deep snores vibrating against your back. What the hell?

You tilt your head, glancing around groggily. Why are you in a room full of men? Several guys are already getting up, shuffling around in various stages of disarray, stretching, groaning, rubbing their faces in exhaustion.

Panic jolts through you as you slap Sunoo's arm. "Did you bring me here?!"

He winces, barely cracking one eye open before scowling and slapping your back in revenge. You groan at the sting.

"Both of us were drunk as fuck," he grumbles. "Do you really think I had the brainpower to take you to the right room?" He shifts, kicking off the blanket, pulling a pillow over his face.

"Agh, fuck, the seniors are so noisy," he groans, muffled. "Let me fucking sleep."

Your mouth falls open in disbelief. Then, you glance down at yourself. The blanket is covering most of your legs, but... something feels off.

A memory flashes through your mind—you and Sunoo, stumbling into the room last night, singing like idiots, collapsing into bed. You kicking off your pants because it felt too hot. Your stomach drops.

"Where are my fucking pants?" you whisper harshly, panic creeping in as you glance around. Other guys are groggily stretching, pulling on hoodies, running hands through messy hair, and you suddenly want to die.

"Uh... hey," a familiar voice calls.

You freeze. Slowly, hesitantly, you turn your head. And immediately wish you hadn't.

"Is this yours?" Jake stands a few feet away, holding your pants. But that's not the problem.

The problem is that he's shirtless, fresh water dripping from his hair, rolling down his bare shoulders, glistening over his defined chest and abs— Don't look lower. Don't look lower.

Oh, fuck, those abs.

"Y-Yes!" you blurt, scrambling to sit up. "Thank you!"

You practically launch yourself off the bed, tripping over the blanket as you grab your pants from his hand. Your fingers brush against his slightly—warm, damp from his shower—and your entire body locks up.

Jake just grins at your flustered state. "Rough night?" he asks, amused.

You don't answer. You can't. Your face is burning, your thoughts spiraling, and the only thing that matters is getting the fuck out of there.

You mumble a quick, "Thanks," grabbing your pants with shaky fingers. Turning away, you hurriedly step into them, nearly tripping in your rush to cover yourself. Your hands fumble with the waistband as you stumble toward the door.

You don't look back. You don't see the way Jay's gaze follows you. The way his eyes drag down your body, your ass, the way his fingers twitch, his knuckles flexing as his grip tightens.

A scoff breaks the silence. "Enjoy flirting with that girl?"

Jay leans back against the bedframe, arms crossing over his chest. His eyes flick toward Jake, who is casually applying lotion to his arms, completely unbothered.

Jake doesn't even glance up. "Everything is such a big deal to you."

"Yeah," Jay mutters, his jaw tightening, "because you know she wants to fuck you. And you just gave her a reason to touch herself thinking about you." His voice is flat and bitter. "Do you want to fuck her?"

Jake lets out a breathy laugh, shaking his head at Jay's possessiveness.

Then, without warning, he leans forward, pressing in close, his lips brushing against Jay's ear as he murmurs, "Come on... don't pretend you don't want to fuck her too."

You hear Sunoo grunt beside you as everyone gathers in a large circle for today's activity. Your shoulders sink slightly—there are too many people, too much noise, and the closeness makes your skin prickle with discomfort.

Before you can dwell on it, someone calls your name.

Heeseung's girlfriend appears beside you, slipping her arm through yours. Heeseung follows a step behind, hands in his pockets, watching the two of you with mild amusement.

Conversation flows naturally between the three of you. She's playful, teasing, and when the moment strikes, she leans in to press a quick kiss to your cheek before Heeseung pulls her away with a laugh, shaking his head.

You huff out a chuckle, shaking off the flustered warmth lingering on your face. The fresh air feels nice, even with Sunoo rambling beside you, half-awake and barely filtering his thoughts.

"There's some dirt in your hair."

You pause, caught off guard by the voice behind you. You blink at Jay as he gestures vaguely toward your head. Your fingers immediately reach up, brushing through your hair, searching for whatever he's talking about.

Before you can find it, another voice cuts in.

"Can't get off?"

Your eyes snap to Jake, heartbeat stuttering.

Sunoo frowns beside you. "What?"

Jake grins. "I mean—you can't get it off." He reaches out, plucking something from your hair—a small leaf—and twirls it between his fingers before letting it drop. He and Jay don't wait for a response. They just turn, walking off, their presence fading into the crowd.

You let out a breath you didn't realize you were holding. Sunoo clicks his tongue, slipping his hand into yours as he pulls you along. "What's wrong with them?"

The activity is divided into groups, and you've been paired with your colleagues. The rules are simple: win the games, and your team gets to decide what food to eat. With everyone desperate for a good meal, the competition turns chaotic.

The entire field is a mess—people running, yelling, tackling each other for flags. You and Sunoo are no exception, darting up and down the hill, breathless and determined.

"I fucking want some steak!" you scream, gripping the colored flag in your hands like your life depends on it.

Behind you, Sunoo is just as wild, holding onto another flag. "We are not eating instant noodles again!" he howls, voice cracking mid-sentence.

But just as victory feels within reach, another group surges past, shrieking in triumph.

Your stomach drops as you watch them hoist their flags in the air, the whistle blowing to signal their win.

Gravity betrays you. You and Sunoo crash to the ground, tumbling into a heap, dirt and grass sticking to your clothes. You groan, lying there for a moment, staring up at the sky in defeat.

"Goddamn it," Sunoo mutters. "I wanted seafood."

A hand appears in your vision. Someone is helping you up. You grab hold, letting yourself be pulled to your feet. "But I wanted steak," you whisper, still eyeing the victorious group with bitter jealousy.

A soft chuckle sounds behind you. "Must be frustrating."

Your brows furrow. You turn, only to find Jake standing there, hands lazily tucked into his pockets, watching you with an amused glint in his eyes.

"What?" you ask, confused.

He takes a step closer, reaching out. His fingers barely brush your shoulder as he tugs off a piece of dirt clinging to your shirt.

Then, he leans in—just slightly, just enough for only you to hear— "Never getting what you want."

Your body tenses, a shiver running down your spine. Because no fucking way—this isn't about the game.

Your mind races, trying to make sense of it.

You stay in the shower longer than you should, the hot water running over your skin, but doing nothing to wash away the unease settling in your chest. Some of the other girls have already finished, wrapping themselves in towels, chatting about the day's activities. A few glance your way, concern flickering across their faces.

"Are you okay?" one of them asks. You don't answer. You just stand there, naked, staring at the tiled floor, your hands limp at your sides.

"Can't get off?"

"Must be frustrating, never getting what you want."

A chill runs down your spine. Jake's words loop in your head, over and over, like an echo you can't shake off.

Your brain scrambles, piecing together every interaction—every weird moment leading up to this. First of all, you don't even know Jake. One day, you were just thirsting over him from a distance, admiring him like some campus crush. Your second interaction—if you could even call it that—was when he dropped his bag in front of you. No words exchanged, just a moment of awkward eye contact before he walked away.

Then last night—when you looked at him again, when you got caught looking. By his boyfriend, Jay.

And then? The sudden shift. The randomness of it all. Why did Jake start talking to you out of nowhere? Could it be because of the pants? The morning embarrassment? But no—his comments weren't just casual teasing. They were pointed. Suggestive. And worst of all, relatable.

Your stomach twists. Your mind flashes back to last night.

You had stepped out for fresh air. You had talked to Heeseung. You make out with him. And when you went back inside— Jay and Jake were gone.

Your breath hitches.

Fuck.

Your hand grips your hair, heart pounding. Could they know? No. No way. That's impossible. Right?

Three more days, and the retreat would be over.

If Jake and Jay knew, then all you had to do was avoid them until you got back to campus. No unnecessary conversations, no eye contact, no chance for them to slip more suggestive comments into your ears and make your skin crawl.

It was the last night of the retreat, the final stretch before you could return to normal life.

The final activity was a mountain climb. The goal was simple—make it to the top and back before 8 o'clock. But the moment the seniors announced it, you just stood there, dumbfounded. What the actual fuck were they thinking?

Sure, a hike sounded fun in theory, but at night? In an unfamiliar area? Terrible idea. Most of the students murmured in protest, some even flat-out refusing, but somehow, you ended up participating. Why? Because Sunoo, your only companion in this nightmare, begged you to come along, promising that he wouldn't survive without you.

Now, with each step up the steep incline, you're regretting it.

"We need to go back down soon," you huff, pausing to catch your breath. "Before the sun sets. I don't trust the seniors—they're probably planning some shit."

Sunoo, hunched over beside you, dramatically clutches his chest. "What?! Can you just— give me five minutes to breathe?" He whines, panting. You roll your eyes but grab his wrist anyway, tugging him forward. "Come on. I have a bad feeling about this."

While walking in the middle of the forest to go down, both of you stop when you hear a scream. Not just any scream—bloodcurdling, echoing through the trees, sending a violent shiver all through your body.

Your body stiffens. "What the fuck was that?"

Sunoo barely has time to respond before more sounds erupt—heavy footsteps, frantic rustling, the unmistakable pounding of people running.

The flashlights around the area flicker out, plunging everything into a suffocating black void.

Your breath catches. "No, no, no—"

Sunoo grabs your wrist. "Run."

You don't question it. The two of you bolt, feet crashing against the uneven ground, dodging low branches, blindly navigating the terrain. You don't even know what you're running from—only that fear is thrumming through your veins, keeping your legs moving.

In the middle of running, in the darkness, your grip on Sunoo slips.

"Sunoo?!" You gasp, stumbling as you lose sight of him.

"Keep running!" You heard him shout, but his voice are distant.

You're alone.

Heart hammering, you stagger forward, breath coming in sharp, uneven gasps. Your legs are aching, your hands trembling as you reach out blindly, searching for stability.

Finally, your fingers brush against rough bark. A tree. You collapse against it, sinking down to the ground, your back pressing into the trunk as you try to calm the rapid rise and fall of your chest.

The silence around you is deafening. You close your eyes, stabilizing your breath when you heard a twig snaps.

Your eyes fly open, and panic takes over. A scream tears from your throat as you kick out wildly, scrambling backward, heart hammering in your ears but a hand clamps over your mouth.

"Shhh," a hushed voice murmurs against your ear, warm breath ghosting over your skin. "Unless you want the seniors to hear and make fun of you more."

The low timbre sends a shiver down your spine. A firm arm snakes around your waist, pulling you against something solid and warm.

You tilt your head, catching a glimpse of soft curls, of a lazy, curling smirk beneath the dim glow of the moonlight.

Jake. His scent is so close—clean, a little woody. It makes your head feel light, makes your thoughts blur at the edges. And his eyes—fuck, his eyes. Dark, glinting, lashes so long.

Your throat tightens. With a sharp breath, you yank his hand away from your mouth, coughing as you shift awkwardly in his hold. "W-What?"

Jake grins. "Relax. The seniors are just scaring the juniors. That's the 'big activity.'"

You scowl, turning your head away. "I know that."

He laughs, low and amused. Then, before you can react, he tugs you down beside him, making you squeal.

"Why are you so awkward?" he teases, settling back against the tree trunk, looking at you like he's enjoying every second of this. "I just wanted to talk to you."

You swallow, shifting uncomfortably. "You have a boyfriend."

"And yet," he murmurs, leaning in slightly, "you keep staring at me like I don't."

Your body reacts before you can stop it, thighs pressing together instinctively at the way his voice drops, at the heat curling in his gaze.

"T-That's micro-cheating," you whisper, trying to steady your voice. You pressed your hand around his chest, stopping him from getting any closer.

Jake chuckles. "It's not—" he leans in, his nose grazing your cheek, his breath fanning over your skin, "—when he's aware of it."

Your eyes widen, lips parting in shock just as his tongue flicks against your earlobe. A sharp, involuntary sigh escapes you, your body shuddering at the sensation.

He smirks. "Sensitive?"

"S-Stop," you stammer, hands pressing against his chest in a weak attempt to push him away.

But Jake doesn't budge. Instead, he pouts—actually pouts—his fingers curling around your wrist, gently prying your grip from his shirt. "Why? Don't you want me?" His voice is teasing.

"I know you've participated in threesomes." Your breath catches at his bold statement.

"I'm just interested in you joining us," he continues, his tone light, almost casual, like he's suggesting something as simple as grabbing a coffee.

Your thighs press together. Because fuck—fuck, it's too easy to imagine it. Two mouths. Two bodies. Two dicks.

The kind of scenario you've watched over and over in the videos you get off to. The kind of scenario that should have you saying yes without hesitation.

But then you remember. His words from the past few days. The suggestive phrases, you felt that he was toying with something deeply personal to you.

Your arousal sours, replaced by a dull ache of frustration. You inhale sharply, forcing yourself to meet his gaze, to focus. "I know that you also know my situation."

Jake tilts his head slightly, curious about where you're going with this.

Your voice hardens. "I'm not the girl you're looking for. Yes, you're hot. Your boyfriend too. But—" You swallow thickly, fingers curling. "Do you think it's a little insensitive of you?"

His brows lift, you take a steadying breath. "I got turned down from experiencing a threesome because of my issue." The words taste bitter on your tongue, resentment creeping in despite yourself. "So what makes you think this would be any different?"

Jake stays quiet for a moment. His fingers are still wrapped around your wrist but the teasing glint in his eyes has dimmed slightly. Not completely gone—just softened, like he's listening now.

You use the moment to pull your hand free and leave him alone, despite of being scared in the dark.

The next morning, as you pack your things, your mood is bitter. Sunoo notices immediately but doesn't press, only throwing you occasional glances as he folds his clothes into his bag.

By the time you're on the train, settled into your seat, the frustration inside you has only grown. You stare out the window, thoughts spiraling, the rhythmic movement of the train doing nothing to calm you down.

Sunoo, beside you, nudges your arm gently. "Is it because I left you alone?" His voice is small, pouting as he holds your hand.

You blink, turning to him briefly before exhaling a heavy sigh. "God, no."

"Then what?"

You lean back against the seat, rubbing your temple. "I'm just... frustrated."

Sunoo raises an eyebrow. "Frustrated about what?"

You don't answer immediately, pressing your tongue against the inside of your cheek as you avoid his gaze.

"Frustrated about everything," you murmur, voice low, more to yourself than to him.

Sunoo watches you for a moment before sighing, deciding to let it go.

But your mind doesn't. You think about it. Threesomes are the best. You love everything about them—the attention, the pleasure, the thrill of being used by more than one person at once. You've spent countless nights fantasizing about being sandwiched between two bodies, your moans muffled against warm skin, hands gripping your thighs, your body bent and spread, completely taken.

The thought alone makes your stomach tighten. But, what's the point if your body refuses to cooperate? If every touch that should send you over the edge instead makes you feel like you're burning from the inside out?

And come on—you know yourself. You don't want to put yourself in a situation where you'll just end up jealous again, where you'll watch pleasure unfold before you and be left with nothing but your own frustration.

You made the right choice. You should praise yourself for finally prioritizing your mental health this time. Because you know how this ends. A wet-ass pussy left hanging, again and again, with no relief.

"You're really dumb," Jay sighs in frustration, rubbing his face with his palm. His other hand rests on his waist as he stares at his boyfriend, unimpressed.

"Now, how are you supposed to convince that girl, huh? You scared her off."

Jake shrugs, unbothered. "Maybe you should go talk to her."

Jay's eyes widen before he scoffs, laughing sarcastically. "No fucking way."

He feels Jake's presence, familiar arms snaking around his waist from behind, pulling him close in a lazy, comforting embrace.

"I'm sorry," Jake murmurs, resting his chin on Jay's shoulder. "I know you told me to give it more time, but I was excited to approach her. You know I've been looking for the perfect third, right?"

Jay huffs, rolling his eyes. "I still don't get why you want a threesome so bad." He pries Jake's arms off his waist, turning to face him. His jaw tightens as he stares at his boyfriend. "Am I not fucking you right?"

Jake chuckles, tilting his head, eyes glinting with amusement. "Oh, baby, you are—but that's not the point."

Jay crosses his arms, his annoyance growing. "Then what is the point?"

Jake shrugs, leaning casually against the table behind him. "I just want to add some spice. It's nothing personal—just something I'd like to try." He watches Jay carefully. "And I'm not forcing you, okay? If you don't want it, we don't have to. But you asked why, and I'm just telling you."

Jay lets out a sharp exhale, running a hand through his hair. Of course, Jake says it so easily, so casually, like it's not a big deal at all. But to Jay, it is.

He's pissed. Maybe even jealous. Because Jay is not the type of man who shares. He never has been. The thought of someone else touching what belongs to him—seeing Jake spread out, vulnerable, pleasured by someone else—sets something ugly and possessive twisting in his chest.

But then—fuck. Jake is looking at him with those big, innocent, doe eyes. His lower lip juts out, his brows lift slightly, and he tilts his head just enough to make himself look small, needy. And Jay hates that he knows exactly how to get his way.

Jay groans, rubbing his face with both hands. In the back of his mind, a voice whispers—maybe he'll like it. Maybe, just maybe, it won't be so bad if he's the one in control.

His hands drop, and he meets Jake's gaze. "I'll try to talk to her."

Jake's entire face lights up. His arms shoot forward, wrapping around Jay's neck as he peppers kisses all over his face, murmuring between them, "Thank you, thank you, thank you—I love you, you're the best, oh my god—"

"Yeah, yeah, yeah," Jay grumbles, pretending to be unimpressed, even as his arms tighten around Jake's waist. "I love you too."

Jay drops his notebook onto the desk with a loud thud, drawing a few glances as he settles into the seat beside you with a quiet grunt.

You freeze, lip gloss wand hovering just above your lips, staring at him in confusion.

"Excuse me? That's my seat." A sharp, sassy voice cuts through the moment.

Jay sighs, already annoyed, and glances up. He recognizes the guy instantly—Sunoo, one of the members from his club.

"Do you have your name on it?" Jay asks, raising a brow.

Sunoo rolls his eyes. "Seriously? God, you guys just pop up out of nowhere." Huffing, he drops into the seat in front of you instead, muttering something under his breath.

Jay turns his attention forward. "I need to talk to you."

You blink, shoving your lip gloss back into its tube. "What?"

"Is this about what your boyfriend told me? Because I already said—"

"And I'm here to change your mind."

You press your lips together, irritation and confusion mixing inside you.

Jay sighs, rubbing his face before looking at you again. "Meet me after the lecture, at the café downtown."

Then, without another word, he stands up, walking away because he can't sit next to you any longer.

You watch him go, then, right on cue, Jake walks into the lecture hall. His eyes scan the room once before landing on Jay. His face lights up immediately, steps quick as he moves in, casually throwing an arm around Jay's shoulders.

Jay barely reacts. He says something back, forcing a small smile, but you can tell it's fake.

Jake looks at you for a second his lips twitch into a small smile before he turns back to Jay.

Before you can even process it, Sunoo is sliding into the seat beside you, reclaiming what was his.

"Are you friends with them?" he asks, side-eyeing you. "What's with all the random talks?"

You force yourself to shrug, keeping your voice light. "No idea."

You don't know what possessed you to agree to this, but here you are—sitting across from Jay at a café, watching him lean back in his chair, sipping on his fruit tea.

Your foot taps anxiously against the floor. "Where's Jake?" you ask, breaking the silence.

Jay exhales through his nose, placing his drink down on the table before spreading his legs slightly, leaning forward. "He's too impatient and impulsive," he says firmly. "It's better if I'm the one talking to you."

You press your lips together, feeling the weight of his stare.

"Look, I didn't mean to overhear your conversation that night." His voice controlled as he's talking to you.

"Jake has been looking for the perfect third to bring into our bed, and he thinks you're..." He hesitates, his next word feeling like it physically pains him to say, "interesting."

Your fingers curl against the fabric of your skirt. "There are plenty of other girls who would be willing to join you." Your voice is steady, but your stomach is twisting. "I'm just... not the one—"

"But you want it, don't you?"

The air shifts. Your breath catches, your eyes widening slightly as you stare at him.

"You just can't say yes because of your situation," he continues, watching you closely making your throat feel dry.

He sighs heavily, rubbing a hand over his face before pushing his hair back. "Look," he starts, tone lowering slightly.

"I know this may sound pushy, but just give it a chance. Jake is great at what he does." His jaw tightens, like the words physically strain him. "We'll consider your situation. We'll take it slow. We won't push you into anything you don't want. If it gets uncomfortable, you can back out."

He exhales sharply, his gaze flickering away for a moment before he forces himself to look at you again. "Just... give him a chance."

You stare at him, mouth slightly open. There's something strange about this. The way he speaks. The way his voice changes—like he's forcing himself through the words.

Your lips part before you even think. "What about you?"

His head lifts slightly, eyes narrowing. "What?"

You swallow. "Are you even sure you want me to join?"

His shoulders tense.

"This isn't just about Jake," you continue, shifting in your seat. "You're a couple. This kind of thing requires a lot of trust and... well, you know." You let out a nervous laugh, trying to ease the tension.

Jay doesn't smile, his eyes flicker before he answers, voice softer than before. "I'm okay with it."

You tilt your head slightly. "Being okay with it doesn't mean you want it."

His jaw ticks. Jay exhales sharply, running a hand through his hair again, more frustrated now. "Just don't mind me, alright?"

"I just want him to be happy. What stays in the bedroom, stays in the bedroom. He's mine—and letting you into our bed doesn't mean anything more. You're just there for fun." His voice is short, irritation creeping into it.

Then, his next words come out gritted, dripping with something so possessive, it nearly startles you.

"I'll always be the one who fucks him better."

You blink. Then before you can stop yourself, you laugh.

A short, amused scoff, shaking your head. "Okay, chill." You hold your hands up in mock surrender. "I'm not going to steal your boyfriend from you."

"So you're down?"

Jay voice is impatient, looking at you. You sigh, leaning back slightly. For most girls, this would be a dream come true. Jake is hot. Jay is hot.

And they acknowledge your situation. They get it. They've promised to take things slow, to not push you, to let you back out if it gets too much.

Maybe... maybe you should just give it a chance.

Because honestly? All that self-reflection, all those moments of avoiding temptation, of telling yourself you're better than this?

Fucking pointless. Because it's not you chasing after dicks. It's the dicks chasing you.

You exhale, rubbing your temple before finally meeting his gaze. "Okay. When?"

Jay studies you for a moment before nodding, pulling out his phone.

As he scrolls through his messages, you brace yourself—already preparing for another abdominal pain moment. Because you see it coming already.

But hey—at least they're hot.

—

You wake up early, too early, scrubbing your body until your skin is soft and warm. Another round of shaving, another layer of the sweetest lotion, perfume misted over every inch of you.

By the time you sit in your lecture, your nerves are already getting the best of you. Your eyes keep flickering toward them. Jake, completely unaware of what's coming. Jay, pretending not to notice you staring.

You remember his words.

"Don't degrade him. You can't finger his ass. No leaving marks on his neck. Don't bite his dick. Don't choke him—that's my job."

You had blinked at him, slightly amused. "What about you?"

Jay had raised an eyebrow, looking at you like you had lost your mind.

"The same." His voice had been simple. Then, after a beat, "Yours?"

You had hesitated for a moment, thinking. "Uh... nothing, really. I am uh—I'm more into giving. If I get comfortable -" You had tapped your nails against the table, feeling the heat creep up your neck. "I'm okay with everything. You can use me all you want."

Jay hadn't expected his pants to tighten at that.

Fuck. He shouldn't be feeling this way.

Then, you had laughed, trying to ease the tension. "Oh, and I'm not ready for double vaginal penetration. Or something inserting in my ass."

Jay had stilled. His jaw had ticked, his thoughts immediately spiraling into something he shouldn't be imagining—both him and Jake taking you, your body trembling, stretched wide between them—

He had shaken his head sharply. "As if I'm going to fuck you," he had muttered under his breath. But he had made sure you heard it.

You had only raised an eyebrow at him.

Two hours after your lecture, you're cleaning yourself again.

Over and over, you go through the motions—shower, shave, perfume—your anxiety making you restless. Jay had texted you his address earlier, and now, standing in front of his apartment door, your heart is pounding.

Your fingers tremble as you twist the knob open. Stepping inside, you're immediately hit with the scent of him.

The living room is simple—clean, minimal. Your eyes soften slightly as they land on the table covered in picture frames, mostly of him and Jake.

Cute. How long have they been together?

You shake the thought away, climbing the stairs slowly, Jay's instructions still clear in your mind—

"Just go straight to my room. The one with the keychain on the knob."

But the second you reach the hallway, you hear a soft, breathy sounds slip through the walls. Your brows furrow, steps slowing.

"Ahhh, fuck, please, please. I want to cum, I want to cum—"

You gulp, throat tightening, fingers hovering over the doorknob. A familiar ache spreads between your legs. You let out a sharp breath, half-annoyed, half-aroused.

"God, he didn't even give me a heads-up," you mutter under your breath, shifting your weight, trying to decide if you should actually walk in on this.

"Fucking shut up," Jay's voice cuts through the air, with his rough and commanding tone.

Your thighs press together as you let out a shaky breath, closing your eyes for a brief moment before gathering the nerve to twist the knob open.

The door swings slightly, and you're immediately hit with the sight in front of you—

Jake, on his knees, getting pounded from behind by his boyfriend. And the worst part? They're facing you.

Your head spins as you stared at Jake's face is flushed, glistening with tears, his mouth parted as he moans helplessly. His hair is fisted in Jay's grip, keeping him in place, forcing his back into a deep arch.

Your eyes travel lower— Fuck, why the hell it's so long?

His achingly pink, dripping cock dangles with every relentless thrust, bouncing between his trembling thighs. A sharp inhale slips from your lips.

"Oh, look who finally showed up," Jay murmurs,

His grip tightens in Jake's hair, tugging him back further, forcing him to lock eyes with you.

Jake's body shudders, his eyes widening in shock.

"J-Jay! Oh my God—" His words break into a loud, desperate moan as Jay speeds up, the sound of skin meeting skin echoing through the room. "You said she refused!"

Jay only laughs, voice dark and smug as he leans down, shifting his angle, making Jake cry out.

"Surprise."

Your throat bobs as you swallow, hard.

You're just standing there, frozen, watching the scene unfold before you. Watching how beautifully, how filthy Jake takes Jay’s cock. The way his body rocks forward with each thrust, the way his lips fall open in helpless moans.

And then your eyes trail lower. You can see everything—Jay’s dick sinking in and out of him, coated in slick, stretching him so perfectly. Each movement is deep and unrelenting. Your breath shudders as you take it all in, heat curling through your body, making your skin burn despite the cold sweat forming on your back.

Jake’s moans grow louder, whinier, then, with his free hand, he reaches down, wrapping his fingers around his neglected cock, fisting it fast.

"Nggh, you got louder—" Jay grunts, his pace never slowing, His gaze flicks toward you, locking onto yours with a sharp, knowing glare. "You’re really into this, huh?"

"Yes, yes, yes—!" Jake moans through a smile, his hand moving faster, squeezing around his cock, never looking away from you.

Your body feels weak. Your nails press into your palms, clenched so tightly that they sting, but you barely notice. Your legs shake slightly, but you still don’t move. You can’t.

"I’m cumming—oh fuck, I’m cumming—!"

Jake’s entire body trembles, his back arching, muscles tightening as he finally lets go. His cock twitches in his hand, thick white ropes spilling over his fingers, his stomach, dripping onto the sheets beneath him. His moans are long, drawn out, mixing with the broken whimpers leaving his lips.

You don’t even realize you’re staring until your breath stutters, your thighs pressing together involuntarily.

Jay’s pace stutters as well, hips jerking forward one last time before he exhales sharply.

"Agh, fuck—"

His grip tightens on Jake’s hips, burying himself deep as he spills inside him, his body going rigid before his movements slow. He takes a second to catch his breath before finally pulling out.

A slap lands on Jake’s ass, making him jolt slightly, though he’s still too dazed to react properly.

"Don’t keep the guest waiting," Jay mutters.

Your gaze drops to him.

Jay stands there, still breathless, still hard, his cock coated in a mess of slick and cum. It’s thick, flushed, and—fuck. Your mouth waters.

Jake takes a moment to catch his breath before turning to you, grinning as he practically bounces toward you, not even bothering to clean up—not even caring that Jay’s cum is still dripping down his thighs.

He just walks up to you, arms wrapping around you in a soft, warm hug.

"Hi!" he says, his bare skin is hot against yours, his breath warm near your neck. And then you feel it—his softened cock resting against your covered thigh.

Jay’s voice cuts, "I’m gonna clean myself up."

Jake pouts at him, tilting his head. "Huh? You’re not gonna join us?"

Jay barely looks back. "Later."

He reaches for the door but pauses, eyes flicking back toward you. His gaze sweeps over you slowly before settling. "Why are you still in your uniform?"

You blink, still struggling to breathe properly. "I—I have a lecture in four hours."

Jay just nods before slipping out of the room.

Left alone with Jake, you find yourself staring at him just as much as he’s staring at you. His eyes are wide, his smile effortlessly cute.

He takes your hand, fingers lacing through yours, and gently guides you toward the bed.

"Do you think you can take another one?" you ask, watching the way his flushed face still carries the lingering effects of pleasure. Jake chuckles, guiding you to lean back as he climbs onto the mattress on all fours, positioning himself above you. So hot.

"Of course," he murmurs before finally settling beside you, propping his head up on one hand while keeping his eyes locked on yours. His free hand rests on your thigh, his touch warm and steady. "How did Jay manage to convince you?"

You shrug slightly. "He said to just give it a try. That I can always leave if it gets uncomfortable."

Jake nods, then tilts his head slightly. "I want to eat your pussy."

Your pussy clenches around nothing, the casual, sweet way he says it making something inside you tighten. How can he be so innocent and so filthy at the same time?

"Have you ever experienced that?" he asks, fingers tracing small circles against your thigh. "Can I?"

You shudder slightly, barely processing the words. "I—I have," you admit, voice quieter now. "But it felt... weird." Jake hums in thought, his fingers moving higher.

"Hmm. Then is it okay if I give it a try?" His voice is soft, but there’s something intentional about the way he asks, his fingers pausing just shy of your core, waiting.

You look into his eyes—his beautiful eyes, you exhale shakily, then nod.

Jake's lips curl into a soft smile before he leans forward, his hand sliding to your waist, pulling you closer.

"Can I kiss you?"

Your lips twitch slightly. "You don’t need to ask every time."

He chuckles, then closes the space between you. His lips press against yours, warm and soft, moving slow. You respond instantly, your hands finding his shoulders, feeling the heat of his bare skin beneath your fingertips.

He deepens the kiss, his tongue gliding against your lips, insistent but teasing. When you part them for him, he pushes in, his tongue curling against yours, exploring, coaxing, making your head spin. His grip on your waist tightens, his arm wrapping fully around you, pulling you flush against his body. His thigh slips between yours, his bare skin brushing against your covered core, sending sparks of warmth up your spine.

You feel his cock—slowly waking up again, pressing lightly against your thigh, twitching with interest as the kiss grows hungrier.

You break the kiss, a thin string of spit connecting your lips before snapping as you tug at the knot of your uniform tie, letting it slip off and fall to the floor.

Jake watches you, breathless, his eyes hungry. Without hesitation, he reaches for the buttons of your blouse, fumbling slightly in his urgency. When he finally pushes the fabric apart, his gaze darkens at the sight of your plump, barely covered breasts.

"Fuck." He groans, cursing under his breath before crashing his lips against yours again.

His hands find your chest, cupping you through the thin material of your bra, his thumbs brushing experimentally over the fabric. The sensation makes you whine, surprising yourself with how sensitive you are. You’re not used to this—to any of this.

His lips trail down, open-mouthed kisses pressing against your throat, his tongue flicking against your pulse before licking a slow path upward. Your breath hitches, the heat pooling inside you growing more intense with every touch.

"God, I love tits," he murmurs, burying his face between them, nuzzling against your soft skin.

"Are you still okay?" he asks, pulling back just enough to meet your gaze.

You nod, eyes fluttering shut, already feeling overwhelmed in the best way possible.

His fingers slip behind you, unclasping your bra. The straps slide down your arms, the fabric falling to the floor, leaving you completely bare from the waist up. Jake doesn’t hesitate—his lips immediately latch onto one of your nipples, sucking gently before dragging his tongue over it.

A sharp gasp escapes you, your back arching slightly into his touch. Your hands find their way into his hair, fingers curling into the strands as he switches to the other breast, his hand kneading the one he just left.

"I want to hear you," he murmurs against your skin, pressing slow kisses around your areola before flicking his tongue over the hardened bud.

"I—I’m not the type," you admit, biting your lip, trying to suppress the noises threatening to spill from your mouth.

Jake pulls back just enough to pout up at you before diving right back in, his tongue swirling, his lips sucking, his fingers teasing. He’s determined to get a reaction out of you.

And fuck, it’s working.

The sensation is slow, nothing rushed, nothing rough, just pure focus on you, on making you feel good. He spends minutes worshiping your chest before finally kissing his way back up to your lips, capturing them in another deep, lingering kiss.

His hands move lower. He unzips your skirt, fingers tracing along the waistband of your panties before slipping underneath, brushing against the heat between your legs.

"Fuck, you're so wet." His fingers find you soaked, glistening with arousal, and it makes his cock throb.

You shudder in anticipation, a nervous sigh leaving your lips as he slowly eases your panties down your legs.

This is it. You already know how this ends—your body will betray you, the same burning discomfort will return, and you’ll be left frustrated and disappointed again.

Jake presses a soft kiss against your lips, unconsciously distracting you from your thoughts, his hands roaming your body. His palms are so gentle, and the way he squeezes your breasts, thumbs grazing over your nipples, he kisses you deeper, tongue sliding against yours, his breath hot and ragged as he takes his time exploring your mouth. He took the opportunity to dip his hand between your legs.

You gasp into his mouth, body tensing as his fingers graze your slit, gathering your wetness before rubbing slow, teasing circles over your clit.

A sharp jolt of pleasure shocks you, so unfamiliar, so intense that your arms immediately wrap around him, clinging to him.

Jake pulls back slightly, his lips brushing against your jaw. "Still okay?" he whispers, kissing just below your ear.

You let out a shuddering breath. "Y-Yeah. It’s just... strange."

His fingers keep moving, slowly, carefully. "Strange how?"

You swallow thickly, your mind barely able to form words through the pleasure building inside you. "It... it doesn’t burn like it usually does."

Jake stills for half a second before tilting his head, a small, knowing smirk forming on his lips.

"Good."

His fingers press in just a little more. "I’m gonna insert a finger," he whispers, eyes locked on yours.

His middle finger pushes in slowly, sinking into you, the wetness making it effortless. He bites his lip, watching for your reaction, his chest rising and falling a little heavier now.

The second his fingertip brushes just the right spot, your body jerks.

"Oh my God—!"

A sharp moan escapes you, your back arching at the pleasure. Your hands grip onto his shoulders, your hips twitching up instinctively, chasing the sensation. Your eyes flutter, struggling to stay open, overwhelmed by the unfamiliar feeling.

Jake chuckles, completely enthralled by the way you cling to him, how sensitive you are, how eager your body is to take more.

"Hey, relax," he murmurs, pressing a gentle kiss to your cheek, nuzzling against your skin as if to soothe you. His finger begins moving—slow, deep strokes, pulling out just enough before pressing back in.

The pleasure is new, intense, making your breath hitch with every slow drag of his finger inside you. Then—it hits you. This feels good. For the first time, this actually feels good.

Your chest tightens and your vision blurs. Before you can stop it, you start crying.

Jake freezes. His brows furrow, his movements halting immediately. "What’s wrong?"

You shake your head desperately, your hand darting down to grip his wrist. "Don’t stop, don’t stop, please—"

Tears spill onto your cheeks, but it’s not from frustration, not from discomfort. It’s from relief.

"Feels so good, fuck—" your voice trembles, a broken whimper leaving your lips. "It feels so good."

Jake stares at you as something tightens in his chest, seeing you like this, falling apart on just one of his fingers, crying from pleasure , it stirs something almost primal in him.

"Poor baby," he murmurs, his lips ghosting over your temple. "You must have been so frustrated every time, hmm?"

You nod frantically, still clinging to him as you start rolling your hips, grinding down onto his hand, chasing the friction, desperate for more.

"Want more—please, more," you plead, voice breathless.

Jake’s cock twitches, precum dripping steadily from the tip at the sound of your voice, the way you’re begging for him.

His free hand grips your thigh, holding you still as he eases a second finger inside. The stretch makes you gasp, walls tightening around him instantly, but before you can adjust, he flicks his fingers against your sweet spot, fast.

You scream. A sharp, choked-out cry, your whole body shaking as your grip on him tightens, fingers digging into his arm.

Jake smiles at the reaction, his heart pounding, the heat in his stomach coiling tighter. He adjusts his position behind you, spreading your legs apart with his knee, giving himself more space to move.

"Come on, let it out," he coaxes, watching you struggle to hold back. "Please, I want to hear you."

His pace increases, fingers moving faster, curling deeper inside you, dragging along the most sensitive parts of your walls.

Your breath comes out in quick, stuttering gasps, your nails digging into his wrist as pleasure crashes into you. Your body vibrates, overwhelmed, barely able to process just how good it feels.

His other hand moves up, fingers brushing against your breast before squeezing, thumb flicking over your hardened nipple.

You let out a loud, desperate whine, head falling back onto his shoulder.

"You’re so beautiful," Jake groans, pressing a kiss to your jaw, feeling the way your body writhes against his. Then, a breathless chuckle—"Fuck, where’s Jay? He’s practically missing out on this."

He watches you fall apart, his fingers fucking into you at a steady rhythm, your legs trembling, your moans growing louder.

Jake swallows thickly, his cock painfully hard, already imagining all the ways he’s going to ruin you.

"I told you, he’s good at what he does." Jay voice appear, you barely register his presence at first, too lost in the overwhelming sensation of Jake’s fingers working you open.

Your half-lidded eyes flutter open, your hazy vision focusing just in time to see Jay stepping closer to the bed.

He’s fresh from the shower, only a towel hanging loosely around his waist, damp strands of hair sticking to his forehead. Droplets of water slide down his sculpted chest, disappearing into the fabric wrapped dangerously low on his hips.

He doesn’t look at you. Not even a glance. Instead, he moves straight to Jake, gripping his jaw and tilting his head up before crashing their lips together.

Jake melts into it instantly, moaning into Jay’s mouth, fingers still working relentlessly inside you, curling and pressing in all the right places.

Your walls clench around him at the sight. Your abdomen tightens, your body writhing against Jake’s hold, the pleasure swelling dangerously close to its peak.

Jake groans against Jay’s lips, feeling the way your body reacts. He tightens his grip around you, breaking the kiss to catch his breath, his forehead resting against Jay’s.

"Look, babe," Jake murmurs, voice thick with amusement.

He tilts your face toward Jay, thumb swiping at the tears streaking down your flushed cheeks.

"She’s crying." Jake laughs softly.

Jay finally looks at you. His sharp gaze drags over every inch of you, lingering on your trembling thighs, your swollen breasts, and your cunt—still stretched around his boyfriend’s fingers.

You moan at the weight of his stare, barely registering the way his jaw tightens, his lips pressing into a thin line. You are barely aware that your hands are reaching for him, desperate for something, anything, to ground you. Jay, however, just scoffs, eyes narrowing as if he finds your reaction pathetic.

"I’m gonna—"

"Are you gonna cum?" Jake asks, his breath hot against your cheek. You nod frantically, tears slipping down your face as the build-up inside you coils tighter, the overwhelming sensation too much to hold in.

Jake hums, licking the salty streaks from your cheeks before pressing a messy, open-mouthed kiss to your lips. Not really a kiss, tongue's out and licking each other.

Jay watches. His hand slides down, gripping his cock through the towel, squeezing at the aching hardness there. He doesn’t know what the fuck he’s feeling—anger, possessiveness, bitterness all twisting together into something almost violent.

Because this wasn’t supposed to happen. He was the one who convinced you. He was the one who pushed for this. And yet—he hates it.

Hates the way Jake is practically glowing in pleasure, completely lost in you, in someone else.

Hates the way you look right now—so fucking hot, back arching, mouth falling open in a silent scream as your orgasm hits, your iris literally disappear in your eyes, your whole body shaking, your walls fluttering around Jake’s fingers.

Hates that his cock twitches at the sight. His grip on himself tightens, his pace quickening, his breath hitching as he watches you come undone.

Fuck you for being so fucking irresistible. Fuck Jake for being such a needy little slut, never content with just his cock.

Jay yanks the towel from his waist, tossing it aside before climbing onto the bed, his eyes flicker to Jake, who is still licking the remnants of your slick from his fingers, savoring it, eyes half-lidded in pleasure.

His gaze drops to you, to the way your chest rises and falls in uneven breaths, to the way your legs tremble from the intensity of your last orgasm.

Without warning, he grabs your thighs, forcing them apart despite your weak resistance, his eyes locked onto your glistening, swollen pussy. There’s no hesitation in the way he spreads you open, no gentleness in his touch

His fingers tighten on your skin, his expression dark, before he suddenly slaps your cunt.

"Ah, no!" A sharp cry rips from your throat, your body jerking violently as your legs instinctively snap shut. But Jay doesn’t allow it—he leans in, using his weight to keep you open, delivering another harsh slap to your clit before rubbing it cruelly, only to slap it again, sending jolts of overstimulation through your already-sensitive body.

"No—stop!" you scream, thrashing against his hold, but it’s too much, too soon, and your voice comes out weak, broken.

Jake hesitates, watching the scene unfold, the conflict flickering in his eyes as you whimper beneath them. "Jay—"

"Hold her down, Jake. She likes it."

Your mind spins, unable to process what you're feeling—if it's pleasure, pain, or something in between. Your body resists, still trying to recover from the last orgasm that left you weak and trembling, but your walls clench involuntarily at the rough treatment.

Jake’s hesitation falters. He exhales sharply, biting his lip before following Jay’s order, arms sliding around you, pressing you down against the mattress.

"Shhh," he hushes, his lips ghosting over your damp skin, trailing lower to your breast, tongue flicking over your nipple in slow, teasing motions. But the moment of tenderness only amplifies the pleasure—only makes your body more overwhelmed, more sensitive.

"Come on, give us another one," Jay mutters before shoving three fingers inside you at once.

Your back arches off the bed, a loud sob escaping your lips, your walls stretching too fast, too full, nothing like the slow build-up Jake had given you before. Unlike his boyfriend, Jay doesn’t ease into it—he doesn’t tease, doesn’t wait for your body to adjust. He just fucks you with his fingers, rough and unrelenting, his palm slamming against your clit with every harsh thrust.

It doesn’t burn—not like it used to. But fuck, it hurts.

It hurts in a way that makes your body crave it, that makes you cling to Jake even as your mind screams that it’s too much. The pleasure is raw, overwhelming, your thighs quivering uncontrollably, your breath coming out in frantic gasps.

"Fuck, fuck, fuck—!" you choke out, voice cracking, unable to stop yourself from whining, from shaking.

Jay clicks his tongue, displeased, his free hand moving up to grab your throat, fingers pressing into the sides as he tightens his grip. "You said we could do anything we wanted, didn’t you?" His tone is mocking, his pace never slowing, only pushing deeper, rougher. "Don’t you fucking back out now."

Your vision blurs, a strangled gasp escaping as you clutch at his wrist, your body caught between wanting to stop and wanting more. Your mind is too far gone to fight it—your thighs trembling as another orgasm builds fast, your walls tightening around his fingers.

Jay feels it immediately, his jaw clenching, his anger still simmering beneath the surface. He should stop—should let you breathe, let you come down—but instead, he pulls his fingers out abruptly, making you whine at the emptiness.

Before you can even process the loss, his hand slaps your pussy again.

"Jay—" Jake starts, but he’s cut off by a sharp glare.

"She’s enjoying it, isn’t she?" Jay huffs, his dark gaze snapping back to you, watching the way your body shudders, your fingers gripping his wrist like it’s the only thing keeping you grounded.

His lips curl, amusement flickering in his eyes. "Ah, I forgot—you can’t speak right now, can you?" He laughs under his breath, finally releasing your throat, watching you gasp for air.

"Jake, hold her legs open. Don’t let her close them." His voice is firm, commanding, and Jake doesn’t question him this time.

Jake moves behind you, his warm hands gripping the backs of your thighs, forcing you open as Jay continues his assault on your wrecked cunt. The slaps grow harder, sharper, the alternating mix of rough circles over your clit and sudden impact making your body feel like it’s burning, in a good way.

You sob, your throat raw, your entire body trembling, but you can’t stop—can’t fight the way your hips twitch upward with every hit.

It’s too much.

It’s exactly like porn.

The last slap lands, harder than before, followed by relentless, rough circles against your clit. Your abdomen tightens so suddenly it feels violent, your breath choking on a scream. "Fuck, no, no—!"

Your body jerks, a shockwave of pleasure ripping through you, forcing Jay’s hand out of you as your orgasm explodes.

A sudden rush of liquid spurts from between your legs, the wetness splashing onto Jay’s forearm, drenching Jake’s hands where they still hold you open. The realization hits all of you at the same time, the room falling into stunned silence for a brief second.

Jake’s eyes widen, his fingers tightening around your thighs as you keep squirting, your body writhing against his grip. "Holy shit," he whispers, almost in awe, his own cock twitching at the sight.

Jay’s expression darkens, his lips parted slightly as he watches the mess you just made. His jaw tightens, his cock aching, his pride burning with how wrecked you look.

"I wanna lick it," Jake murmurs, voice breathy, eager, already shifting positions.

Your body barely registers what’s happening. Your throat is raw, your limbs are limp, and your vision is hazy, blurred with exhaustion and overstimulation. But they move you anyway, shifting your body like a doll between them, switching positions.

Jake lowers himself between your legs, his warm breath ghosting over your slick, oversensitive skin. At the same time, Jay positions himself behind you, pulling you flush against his chest, his firm grip keeping you upright as your legs tremble. His arms snake around you, locking your thighs open.

"Don’t fall asleep on us. Jake’s still enjoying himself." Jay’s voice is low, whispering so Jake doesn't hear, his breath hot against your ear as his fingers toy lazily with your swollen nipples.

Your heavy eyes fight to stay open, lids drooping, but the moment Jake’s tongue licks through your folds, sharp pleasure snaps through you, making you whimper.

Jay watches the way your body jerks, his tongue pressing against the inside of his cheek in irritation of what you're doing. He bites your nape—hard, teeth sinking into your skin just as Jake flicks his tongue over your clit.

A scream rips from your throat, pain and pleasure crashing into each other all at once. Jay’s fingers tighten around your breasts, kneading roughly, relishing how soft you feel beneath his grip. He groans, inhaling your scent, his lips brushing against the mark he just left.

"Fuck, you feel so soft." His voice is quieter now, almost to himself, but then his fingers pinch your nipples, making you jolt. "I hate you." The words are bitter, filled with frustration, but his hands never stop.

Jake pulls back slightly, licking his lips before glancing up at you. "Is she still okay?" His voice is gentle, laced with concern, his fingers stroking your inner thighs.

Jay sighs, rolling his eyes, his grip tightening possessively around your chest. "Of course she’s fine, baby. I’m waking her up." He flashes Jake a sweet smile.

Jake lowers himself again, spreading you open further, his tongue gliding along your folds before dipping inside, tasting you. Your head falls back against Jay’s shoulder, unable to hold yourself up any longer.

You barely have a voice left, just soft, broken moans spilling from your lips as Jake’s tongue works against you, his nose nudging your clit. The wet sounds mix with your ragged breathing, your hands gripping weakly onto Jay’s legs.

Jay watches Jake closely, his eyes darkening as he notices how his boyfriend grinds his hips into the sheets while eating you out.

The way Jake’s tongue hardens inside you, how his moans vibrate against your cunt, sends your back arching for more even though you can't take it anymore.

"Are you still okay with penetration?" His voice drags you back, your dazed eyes barely focusing on him as you try to process the question.

"Yes—" The word slips from your lips, hoarse and weak, as your body arches under Jake’s tongue, your walls clenching around nothing.

Jay hums, satisfied, his fingers idly stroking your inner thigh as his attention shifts back to Jake. "Babe, do you want to go inside her?"

Jake lifts his head, breathless, his lips shining with your slick. His eyes flicker between you and Jay before he grins, biting his lip. "Can I?"

Jay smiles at him, softer this time, his hand brushing over Jake’s cheek before nodding. "Of course, baby." He leans down, pressing a slow, lingering kiss to Jake’s lips, tasting you on him.

You squirm slightly as Jay shifts again, dragging your legs further apart as Jake moves into position. Your hazy mind barely registers how you’re now upside down, your head hanging slightly over the edge of the mattress. When you blink up, Jay is standing in front of you, looking down at you with a glare.

Jake groans as he fists his cock, spreading the leaking precum along his length before positioning himself between your legs. He grips your thighs, spreading you further, his cock rubbing along your clit, gathering your wetness before pressing against your entrance.

A sharp exhale leaves you as he pushes in, the slow stretch making your body tense before melting into pleasure.

"Fuck—" Jake moans, his head tilting back as your warmth surrounds him, his fingers tightening around your waist. "So fucking good—" His hips twitch slightly, unable to stop himself from thrusting in deeper, his pace quickening almost immediately.

"Good?" His voice is breathless, almost a whimper, as he looks at you.

You nod weakly, arms reaching for him, needing more. Jake leans forward, capturing your lips in another deep kiss, his moans muffling against your mouth.

"Move, baby. I have to feel good too." Jay’s voice is calm and patient, but the command is clear.

Jake straightens, adjusting his position as his thrusts deepen, picking up speed. You cry out, the angle hitting something devastating, making your toes curl. But before you can process the pleasure, something heavy presses against your lips.

"Let’s see if Heeseung’s rating was right."

Your moan is cut off by Jay’s cock pressing past your lips, stretching your mouth as he slides in. He groans, fingers curling into your hair, holding himself still as he feels how tight you are around him. "Shit—so fucking deep—"

You force yourself to relax, breathing through your nose, your tongue pressing against the underside of his cock. Jay sighs in satisfaction, his grip in your hair tightening slightly before he begins to move, rolling his hips in time with Jake’s thrusts.

Your head spins.

Every movement from Jake sends Jay’s cock deeper into your throat, forcing you to take him further with each thrust. Your body is overwhelmed, overstimulated from both ends, your moans vibrating around Jay, making his jaw clench.

Jake grips your legs, wrapping them around his waist as he drives into you, his thrusts becoming erratic, sloppy, desperate. "Baby—fuck, so good, so good—" His voice is almost whiny, his pace stuttering as he gets closer to his release. Jay glances at him, his lips twitching into a soft smile.

"Are you happy?" Jay asks, his voice smooth despite the way he’s thrusting into your mouth, barely holding himself together.

Jake nods frantically, gasping between moans, his body trembling as his hips jerk forward uncontrollably. "Yes, yes, yes—fuck, Jay—" He leans forward, pressing his forehead against Jay’s, kissing him openly.

Jay’s hands dig into your breasts, his grip tightening until the pressure burns, sure to leave behind faint bruises in the shape of his fingers.

His breath is ragged, the pleasure coiling in his stomach, but just as his body urges him to chase his release, he pulls out, leaving you suddenly empty. Your dazed, confused expression meets his as he fists his cock, stroking himself slowly.

"What? You think you deserve my cum?" His voice is cold, "not a chance."

The words barely register before Jake’s thrusts snap your focus back to him, his pace growing more frantic. Your body rocks beneath him, your oversensitive walls clenching tight around his cock, milking him for everything he’s worth.

Jay watches with dark, unreadable eyes, his hand moving steadily over himself, his knuckles white from the grip.

You’re too far gone to even moan properly now—your throat is too raw, your body too exhausted. But you still feel it—every deep, hard thrust slamming against your g-spot, sending you spiraling further into an overstimulated haze.

"I’m gonna cum—can I cum inside you? Please, please—" Jake’s voice is wrecked, pleading, his fingers working quick circles over your clit, making your head spin.

You nod weakly, unable to do anything else, your body locking up as the final wave crashes over you. Your cunt tightens around him, your orgasm ripping through you so violently that your vision whites out.

Your limbs shake uncontrollably, your mind blanking from the sheer intensity of it, your nerves are fried. You don’t even realize you’re crying again, too far gone to care.

Jake gasps, his body stiffening before his hips stutter, his cock buried deep as he spills inside you. "Yes, yes—thank you, thank you, thank you—fuck—" He babbles, his forehead pressing against yours as he trembles, his release filling you to the brim, dripping down where you’re still connected.

Jay exhales sharply, his own arousal teetering on the edge as he watches the sight before him, with a growl, he grabs Jake’s hair, yanking him down onto his cock without warning. Jake barely has time to catch his breath before Jay’s hips snap forward, his cock pushing past his lips, forcing him to take him deep.

Jake chokes, his throat tightening around him, his body still trembling from the aftermath of his orgasm. His fingers dig into your thighs as he adjusts, tongue flattening against Jay’s shaft, relaxing his throat the best he can.

Jay groans, his free hand gripping the back of Jake’s head, holding him still as he thrusts into the warmth of his mouth.

"Come on, baby. I’m close too, hmm?" His voice is rough, but his eyes have softened slightly, watching the way Jake struggles to take him properly, how his throat works around him, trying so hard to please him.

Jake nods weakly, his tongue swirling around the length of him, his lips stretching around his thick cock as he bobs his head in time with Jay’s movements. His body is exhausted, but the desire to satisfy Jay outweighs the burning in his throat.

You force yourself to sit up, your entire body weak, your legs barely able to hold your weight. Your half-lidded eyes land on the sight before you—Jake’s lips stretched wide around Jay, his jaw slack, his throat taking every deep thrust. Your mind is foggy, your muscles sore, but you watch, hypnotized.

Jay’s eyes flick toward you, his gaze meeting yours, and for a moment, his thrusts falter.

"I'm close, baby." His grip on Jake’s hair tightens slightly, his chest rising and falling in heavy breaths. And then, with a final groan, his release spills into Jake’s mouth, his hips pressing forward as he holds him there, forcing him to swallow every drop.

Jake takes it all, eyes fluttering shut, his throat working around him until Jay finally pulls out, a thin string of saliva and cum breaking between them.

You didn’t even realize you had passed out.

Everything was a blur—the memories muddled together, the sensations lingering somewhere between dream and reality. Your body floated, weightless, exhaustion pulling you under even as you felt hands on you.

Fingers washing you, dragging a warm cloth over your skin, rinsing you. The soft splash of water surrounded you, the faint scent of soap.

Jake’s voice filtered, "Are you okay?"

You wanted to answer, but your body wouldn’t respond. You were too tired, too drained, your mind slipping back into the darkness before you could even try.

When you wake up, it’s already another day.

You blink, squinting against the dim light filtering through the unfamiliar room. Your head feels heavy, like it’s been weighed down by exhaustion, and your limbs ache with every movement.

Your gaze drifts, taking in your surroundings—this isn’t your dorm, but your belongings are neatly placed on the side table.

Your uniform hangs on a nearby hook, freshly ironed.

Slowly, you push yourself up, wincing as a dull ache spreads through your muscles. Your throat throbs, and the soreness in your body makes it feel like you’ve been beaten.

You shuffle toward the mirror on the wall, rubbing at your sore neck absentmindedly—

And then you freeze.

Your reflection stares back, the evidence of last night’s events written across your skin.

A deep bite mark sits at the side of your neck, darkening into a deep purple. Your throat is bruised, a faint imprint of Jay’s grip still visible. Your legs are covered in smaller marks—finger-shaped bruises, faded red streaks.

"Fuck—"

Panic flickers in your chest.

How the hell are you supposed to go to school like this?

#enhypen #enhypen smut #enha smut #jay x reader #jake x reader #jay smut #jake smut #enhypen x reader #jay x jake

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yeonmuse · 1 month ago

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𝙄𝙈𝙈𝙊𝙍𝙏𝘼𝙇 𝙃𝙀 𖤓. ENHYPEN HEESEUNG

CONTENTS ─────texts from your vampire childhood friend Heeseung who has been thirsting over your blood for years and finally caved.

𓇢𓆸 heeseung ֶָ֢. reader. smau suggestive, vulgar language. crack/fluff best friends to lovers

⍣ ೋ AUTHORS NOTES . honestly this was just a random idea I got at like 12 in the morning but hopefully yall are entertained. 18+

🏷️@jwonistic @bubblytaetae @pkjay @heesallure @planetmarlowe @dreeki @butterflywonz @lillotus17 @squiishymeow @river-demon-slayer @sol3chu @st4rryst4r @firstclassjaylee @right-person-wrong-time @riribelle @gaytron3000 @heesunghooney @i03jae @blackhairandbangs @sunooqvrlsx @addictedtohobi @enaile23 @ivyvioletcarson @kristynaaah

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hees-mine · 9 months ago

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SECRET - L. HEESEUNG

Pairing: heeseung ⚥ reader

Warnings: stepcest, smut, unprotected sex, oral, anal fingering, face sitting, cockwarming, dirty talk, cum eating, multiple orgasms, cursing. Not proofread forgive me.

Genre: 18+, smut, minors do not interact, taboo relationship, stepcest

WC: 4,492k

⟱⟱⟱

“Hey, didn’t expect to see you up this late,” heeseung whispers to you as you enter the kitchen, rubbing the grogginess from your eyes while yawning.

“Couldn’t sleep,” you reply and walk to the fridge, pouring yourself a glass of cold water. “It is really late,” you mutter, taking a sip and staring at the clock aimlessly.

“You’re telling me. The guys wouldn’t let me leave to save my life,” he laughs softly, rummaging around the fridge, but nothing really catches his eyes, so he closes the door.

“Poor you,” you say with a slight giggle that he smiles at.

“Poor you, too.” Stepping away from the fridge, he walks over to you, standing just mere inches away as he scans your face.

“W-what do you mean?” You question confusedly, tilting your head to the side as he closes in on you even more.

“Could’ve been here with you.” resting his palms on your waist, he glides his large, warm hands up and down your sides until his hands slip underneath the hem and he finds your perky braless breasts kneading on them.

You gasp suddenly and pull away from him. “Heeseung, what are you doing?” Your heart was pounding in your chest at this point, and you had no idea what was going on. One minute, you were laughing together, and the next, he was touching you. Not to say you didn’t like it, but this was wrong. He was your stepbrother. He shouldn’t be doing things to you like that.

He rolls his eyes; just the fact it took you that long to react makes it evident to him that you didn’t mind him touching you. “Pfft, come on, y/n, I see the way you look at me, the way you stare at my cock every chance you get” he chuckles and walks closer to you again. “And, of course, you know the way I look at you,” he whispers, hinting at all the times you caught him staring at you inappropriately. He dips his head down and kisses your neck, his hands already sliding up your shirt and pushing it all the way up to your shoulders, revealing your naked chest, and he bites his lip at the sight staring down at you with eyes full of desire.

“We shouldn’t.” You looked up at him, eyes wide and expectant, your words having no real value. You know you should care about what’s happening. You should be concerned with the countless times you eye fucked your stepbrother, but you just didn’t. All you wanted since the day you met was to have his cock buried deep inside you, and even more when you saw his tent in his pajamas for the first time. You’ve never been the same after that, and you’ve been thirsting for his big dick every day.

“Sweetheart, I really don’t care, and I know you don’t either. I can be your secret, and you can be mine.” he cups your breasts, rubbing your cute little hardened nipples with his thumb. “I just need to fuck your pussy, baby. I’m tired of fucking my fist to the thought of you, and we finally have some time alone” he backs you up against the counter, pressing his hard bulge on you, and you moan, finally coming in contact with what you’ve been wanting for months.

“You touch yourself to the thought me?” You couldn’t help but wonder.

“Of course I do.” he rolled his hips against you, groaning at the friction as he did it over and over again. “You do it too, right? Thinking about me and my cock while you get off on those pretty little fingers?” He rests his head on your shoulder, hands slipping from your chest to your waist, holding you still as he ruts into your core, leaving you breathless.

You grip onto his wide shoulders. “So many times,” You bite your lip, tilting your head back to grant him access to kiss your neck. “Had to go to sleep unsatisfied so many nights cause nothing felt as good as I know you would,” you admit.

“Hmm, sorry baby, but I got you tonight, all right? Gonna make this pussy cream till my little stepsister is fucked and satisfied,” he grins as he leans back. “Up,” you followed his instructions, lifting your arms up for him, your flimsy shirt falling to the tiled floor.

He takes off his shirt next to the material pooling on the floor along with yours before he unfastens his belt and opens his jeans as well. He impatiently reaches out to you, bringing you close to his body until his chest is flush against yours; his body shivers when both your bodies meet together. He’s been dying to feel your body like this for what feels like forever. “Mmm,” he presses his fingertips into your waistline, the other hand slinking up to your throat, pressing on the sides gently as he brings you in for a kiss.

You opened up to him right away, letting his tongue inside your mouth and swirling yours around it.

Feeling lightheaded already, you kiss him back, your movements even more rushed and rough than his. Your noses continuously brush against one another as your lips lock in a wet, sloppy kiss.

He pulls away, his mouth parted, and your warm breath fans his face.

You stare up at him, blinking innocently, your eyes already lidded with arousal as your hands find his toned chest, massaging every faint line of muscle.

He watches the way your hands glide on his body, nipples growing stiff as your fingers brush over them. “Yeah,” he whispers in approval, his cock twitching as you lean in, swirling your tongue over his erected bud.

His mouth parts open further as you alternate between nipples while slipping your hand inside his jeans to palm his erection at the same time. “Fuck” he bucks his hips fucking himself on your hand and getting lost in the pleasure even though you two barely even started.

You chuckle deeply, loving how reactive he is to your sensual touches. You suck extra hard on his left nipple, and he moans, his hand going up your back and tangling itself in your hair. “Shit,” he hissed, eyes rolling backward in his head.

Your hand searches for the hole in the front of his boxers, and you find it easily pulling his stiff cock out of the confines of his clothing.

Moaning against his chest, you whine in satisfaction when you feel him skin on skin. He’s hot to the touch, pulsating and leaking precum.

“Oh my god, y/n.” The sudden change in his voice makes you pulsate even harder. You never heard his voice like this before. He sounds so high-pitched and whiny, but he can’t help it. He’s never felt this fucking amazing before. How were you making him go crazy with just sucking his nipples and jerking him off? He must’ve been more desperate than he thought, or maybe you’re just that good.

You move your face from his chest, his eyes fluttering open as you do so. “Please let me suck your dick,” you ask, needing to feel him in your mouth now.

He rubs your scalp with the tips of his fingers. “Of course, baby, get down on your knees and suck on my dick,” he watches as you drop to your knees in front of him. The sight alone makes his cock twitch in anticipation.

Looking up at his hazy eyes, you grip the bottom of his shaft, pumping his size slowly. “Oh fuck” he shuddered, still sensitive from nearly cumming just from your hand a moment ago.

“Mmhmm you like that hee?” He clenches his jaw, breathing through his nose as calmly as he can.

“Yea baby, I do” he releases a deep breath having zero control over his hips as he starts fucking your hand again, looking so desperate for it.

Without any more words, you open up your mouth, lightly suckling on just the tip at first.

The taste of salty precum hits your taste buds, and you can’t help but hum, loving the way his hard, heavy cock feels on your tongue.

Salivating at the first taste, you eagerly swallow down the rest of him, taking the remainder of his thick cock all the way down your tight wet throat.

He lurches forward and quickly grips the counter to stabilize himself. “Y/n fuck” he curses, lip bit tightly between his teeth to keep it down, his face twisted and eyebrows furrowed in pure unadulterated pleasure. “You feel so good on my dick” he balls his hand into a tight fist, overwhelmed by the feeling of your hot mouth sucking him off like your life depends on it.

You gagged spit dripping down his shaft and coating his balls as his tip hit the back of your throat, but that only excited you more as you bob your head faster, your lips tightly secured all the way around his cock as you cup his saliva-covered balls softly stroking them.

“Shit, y/n, fuck fuck fuck I’m g-gonna c-cum” he whimpers in desperation as his release hits him hard. “Let me cum in your mouth, please,” he rushes out, and you nod immediately, waiting to get your throat stuffed with his cum. Not even a second later, he shoots his cum straight down your throat. You feel his heavy balls tighten in your hand, his cock twitching on your bottom lip as he rewards you with his warm cum.

Despite your knees feeling sore from the tile, you suck him completely dry, finishing him off with a quiet pop as you wipe the corners of your lips and swallow every last drop. “Come here.” he takes your hands, helping you stand off the ground. You can barely stand straight before he pulls you into a messy kiss way; you willingly swallow his cum, turning him on all over again, his bare cock brushing against your leg as he backed you up into the fridge door, the coolness of it feeling good in contrast to how hot it has become.

“Heeseung,” you cup his face, kissing him back with equal enthusiasm as he taps your thigh, signaling you to wrap your legs around him.

He pressed his palms into the appliance behind you, letting you hang off him completely. “Fuck baby, you already got me going again” he pulled back from the kiss, and you encircled your arms around his neck.

Grabbing the backs of your thighs, he hoists you in his arms, moving you on top of the kitchen counter with ease. “Lay down for me,” you do as he says, eager to know what he’s got in store for you.

He yanks down his jeans and underwear, leaving himself naked. Once he’s finished, he grabs the waist of your shorts, pulling them down as well with the help of you lifting your hips.

Now you’re bare on the table, your cunt wet and glistening on display like a full-course meal just for him.

Licking his lips, he situated himself between your legs, lifting them up and pressing them to your chest. He didn’t even say anything. He just leaned in, and all you felt was his hot, heavy breath fanning your pussy before a long wet line was licked from your rim to your clenching pussy. “O-oh,” you gasp, your legs trembling from just the first lick.

“Knew you’d taste so good” he closed his eyes, licking another long stripe up your juicy cunt, groaning as the flavor of you spreads on his tastebuds. “Smell so fucking amazing, too” he wasn’t shy to really get in there. His face was flush against your core, his tongue licking up every inch of your engorged vulva.

“Oh fuck yes,” you let your head rest on the counter, taking a deep breath to calm yourself and feel everything he does to you down there.

Without pause, his tongue falls out in one smooth motion as he inserts it inside you fucking it in and out.

You reach out to him, hands running through his silky hair pulling softly at the roots, and you have to restrain yourself from pushing his head down and fucking his face.

His nose runs over clit, and you swear you’ve never felt something so good. Just his tongue inside you felt unreal. You could only imagine how his dick would be.

You’re silently enjoying, for the most part, since your parents are fast asleep upstairs and the fact you were doing everything in your power not to thrust yourself onto his tongue.

Noticing your sudden lack of sounds and words, he switches to something that’d get him a reaction out of you. He pulls his tongue out, a long string of saliva following as he starts sucking on your pulsating clit and kneading your thighs.

He does it for a good minute transitioning between sucks and gentle flicks of his tongue, but he still doesn’t get any excitement out of you.

Was he doing something wrong?

“What’s wrong?” He asked, looking up at you.

“Nothing, what do you mean?” You question in confusion.

“I don’t know, it’s just you’re not- you don’t seem as if you’re as excited as I am about this,” he admits quietly with a soft sigh.

“No,” you’re quick to reassure him. “I am, I really am. You have no idea.”

“Sure? Cause I don’t have to if you don’t want it,” he replied, sounding dejected. He just wanted to return the favor and make you cum too.

“Yes, hee.” You lean up, giving him a kiss and rubbing your fingers through his hair. “I really want this. Don’t want you to ever stop, baby.” you kissed the tip of his nose. “Just don’t want to wake anyone up.”

“Oh yeah,” he chuckles at himself, forgetting for a moment that you both live with your parents, but even still, you were making some sounds before, but now you weren’t. Maybe he was overthinking it, but it’s like he could sense something was wrong.

“Yeah, silly that, and I’m trying my hardest not to ride your face,” you told him shyly, watching as all the apprehension left his face. No wonder it seemed like something was wrong. It’s because you were holding back, and fuck, he’s glad he said something because he wants nothing more than for you to ride his face and fuck yourself on his tongue.

He doesn’t say anything. He simply picks you up and takes you to the couch. He lays flat on it first and searches for your hand, helping you climb on top of him. “Do as you please fuck do anything you want to me.”

You lost it the moment the words left his mouth. If it weren’t for you being so needy, you might have hesitated due to shyness, but you couldn’t. He was far too inviting for you not to just pounce on him.

You immediately lined yourself up with his face sinking down on him and moaning out as you started riding his pretty face.

He gripped your thighs, his tongue coming out as you rotated your hips on his face. “Fuck you’re so good,” you whimper, rubbing your pussy on his soft, warm tongue.

He hums as he slides his hands to your ass cheeks, squeezing and spreading you open, guiding you back and forth on his tongue. “I love the way you taste,” he says almost incoherently with the way his tongue passes through your folds.

You grip the head of the sofa, grinding your hips back and forth. His tongue slips inside your hole, and you arch your back, bouncing lightly as you feel his tongue fucking your swollen pussy.

He tests the waters, running a finger along your rim, and judging by how you let out the loudest moan of the night slip past your pretty lips, he can only surmise that you’re into that.

His index finger circles the tightness of your rim, and when you try and push back on him, he gives you what you want, sinking his finger into your asshole.

So tight and warm he swears he’s in paradise cause everything about you is absolutely perfect.

“Hee,” you whimper as you feel him slip it into you. Your head drops between your shoulders as you ride his tongue and finger. “I’m gonna cum” With a satisfied moan, he doesn’t stop his movements not until you clench around his tongue and spill your arousal all over his awaiting tongue.

A muffled curse leaves his mouth, the vibrations making your orgasm even more intense to the point your trembling legs clamp around his head. “So good” You threw your head back, rubbing your pussy all over him.

As you begin to come down from your high, he purses his lips rubbing them directly on your clit, and this, without a doubt, was by far the best orgasm you’ve ever had.

“Fuck” you whimper, your legs shaking as you feel a gush of wetness seep out of you.

Heeseung swallowed it down in less than a heartbeat, his cock twitching as your taste slithered down his throat. He was so fucking hard and ready for you, his cock lubed up in ridiculous amounts of precum, just waiting to be used in your pussy.

He retracts his finger, your hole clenching around nothing, practically begging him to finger your ass some more.

His hands grip your waist, and he pulls you down on him until you’re face to face, handling you like you weigh nothing. “You liked, huh, baby?” You nodded suddenly, feeling shy, and he couldn’t help but think it was cute how quickly your demeanor changed. “Give your stepbrother a kiss, yeah.” You hit his chest lightly at his teasing, but you kiss him nonetheless, the flavors of both your sexes being exchanged through the kiss as he wraps his arms around you securely, giving you both a minute or two before he’s slipping from under you and standing up. “Look what you do to me.” he looks down, and you clench when you see it. He’s so fucking huge and hard your mouth waters, and you would suck him off again if it wasn’t for your aching pussy begging to be fucked and filled.

“All that for me?” You ask with a smile, reaching out to stroke him a few times.

“Yeah, baby, all that for you,” he says, sensually rubbing your forearm as you stroke him off.

“Mhm then, if it’s all for me, put it inside me.” his expression fills with nothing but raw desire, and he doesn’t wait any longer to get to what you’ve both been waiting months for.

“Shit, turn over for me then” You didn’t need to be told twice, flipping over on the couch and giving him your best arch as you flip your hair to the side, looking behind you as he gets on the sofa.

He rests one leg on the ground, his knee on the couch next to you as he aligns his aching cock to your hole.

“Put it in, hee need you to fuck me so bad” his head feels fuzzy as he presses his tip on your entrance. You and your mouth are going to be the death of him.

“I’m gonna fuck you real good” he pushes it in, neither of you being able to wait any longer.

“Ooh yes,” you hiss at the stretch, your lips pursed in an attempt to suppress your moans.

He places his hand on your hip, one on your shoulder, sliding down the length of your back, softly tracing a line until he meets your right hip gripping onto you tightly as he fucks a few more inches inside you. “That’s it, take it. Look at that wet pussy swallowing up my dick,” he spanks your ass biting on his lip as your sloppy pussy lips hug around his length.

“Yes, hee, take my pussy and fill me up with your dick” You grip the couch, the stretch feeling so slick and hot as he enters you, fully bottoming out in your silky cunt. His tight balls rest on your outer lips, the wetness between your bodies sticking you both together.

He throws his head back, moaning as you take him all inside. It’s so warm and wet he feels like he might faint. You're just too good and tight for him to even think straight.

He’s already covered in sweat, pupils wide with arousal as he pulls back, his tip catching on to your tight opening, and he pushes back in, filling out your pussy again.

One slow stroke, and he thinks he might cum. “Fuck” he whines, his hands gripping your waist so tight they’ll be prints by tomorrow. “You’re really fucking tight y/n”

“Yeah, hee? Does your stepsister's pussy make you feel good” you tease, pushing back on his dick as it fills you to the hilt.

“Y/n,” his mouth parts as he takes a breath. “Fuck yes, it does, makes me feel so fucking good. Oh my god, you’re so wet.”

“Mhm yes hee fuck me fuck me hard wanna feel all of you,” you say, sounding drunk off the feeling of his big cock in you.

He thrust deeply, his pace naturally increasing with a feral need. The loud sound of your ass clapping against his sweaty thighs filled up the living room, and you were both too in the moment to care if either of your parents caught you.

“Ahh fuck yes!” You moan loudly as his tip nudges your cervix.

“Fuck y/n, you feel me deep in your pretty little pussy, mhm, like it being fucked deep and hard, isn’t that right, beautiful” he spanks you again, your perfect ass jiggling from the harsh impact.

You clench from the unexpected slap, your head falling into the cushion, a final attempt to silence yourself. “God, yes!” Your moans are thankfully muffled by the couch, but he can still hear every whimper and moan you let out.

He watches his thick cock fucking your cunt. This angle makes you look so good as you soak his dick, the white ring of arousal around the thick base of his shaft proving just how wet your pussy is getting for him.

He spat his hand in the heat of the moment. He rubs it between your spread ass, his thumb circling it around. “You want it?” He teases just the pad of his thumb.

You pick your head up, your eyes hazy, hair a mess, and when you look back at him, it’s the best image of you so far. “Yes, put your finger in my ass. Hee fuck me like I’m yours,” you say shamelessly, allowing him to do whatever he wants to your body, and you know you’ll love all of it.

“You are mine after tonight. You’re so fucking mine” Your eyes flutter in your head at his sudden possessiveness, and your mouth hangs open in a silent moan as he slips his thumb into you.

Fucking his thumb in and out, he feels you get even tighter. “Since you like my finger in your ass, maybe you’ll like my dick too.”

Just the suggestion is enough to make you go insane. You can’t imagine how good his dick would feel up your ass.

“Huh?” He brushes some hair out of your face so he can see your reaction. “Wouldn’t you, baby, you’d love taking my big dick up your tight little ass,” he talks in a soft voice cooing as your face morphs into one of nothing but pure pleasure.

You pant, your body overwhelmed and covered in sweat as he fucks you harder into the couch. “Yes, so much, hee,” you say, half in, half out of it, your limbs giving into the pleasure that builds inside you.

“Nuh uh baby, keep arching for me.” he pressed down on your lower back, making you arch deeper than you were before, and the way he filled you up left you with no doubt that he was bulging in your lower stomach.

“Hee!” You squeal out, shocked by the pleasurable feeling of him pounding into your cervix relentlessly.

“Take it, that’s it, take it, take it, take it,” he grunts, shoving his thumb deeper inside you, only fitting to have both your holes penetrated as deeply as possible.

“Fuck” you cry out, your body in a position you didn’t even know you could take, and his dick hits places that have never been reached inside you before.

“Keep squeezing on my dick, cum on me, baby. Make a fucking mess,” he encourages you, giving you every last ounce of energy he’s got left to plow into you because he wasn’t letting you go another night without satisfying you with his cock.

His words make you reach your breaking point. “C-cumming” You fall apart on his dick, your body going limp as you succumb to the constant rubbing of his cock against your throbbing walls.

“M-me too,” he stutters. Every muscle in his body tenses with desire and wants as he releases his semen deep inside you. He rides out your highs with gentle strokes, pushing his cum as far inside you as it could possibly go, not letting a single drop slip out.

“Yes cum in me,” you whisper exhaustedly, moaning continuously as his warmth fills you inside out, your spent pussy squelching with every thrust.

He pulls his thumb out of you before you get too overwhelmed with everything he’s done to you.

“Good little stepsister, take all your big brother's cum” he lowers himself on top of you, his dick still buried to the hilt as he keeps himself inside you plugging you up with his cum.

You pant as his hands lay over yours, which were now flat beside your head on the couch.

He gives you little kisses all over your face every now and then, rocking his hips, reminding you that he’s still nestled deep inside your pussy.

You sigh softly, your breath finally returning to normal.

He blindly reaches on the back of the sofa to grab a blanket draped on the back, covering you both up as much as he could. “Tired my baby?” He whispers to you, and you nod in response. “Want me to clean you up and take you to bed? Does that sound good?” He smiles as you hum again. “Okay, sweetheart, let’s just stay here fit a little bit.

You don't protest when he flips you over and lays you on his chest. You feel some of his cum dripping out of you, but neither of you mind, too tired right now to be bothered.

You rest on his chest, listening to his heartbeat. As he strums your back peacefully and he whispers…

“This can be our little secret.”

⟱⟱⟱

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bambisnc · 2 months ago

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( ♡ ) line without a hook

° ˖ ➴ how enhypen would ( un/intentionally ) fuck up a friendship

### . STARRING ⌢ OT7 ⋆ suggestive + 1.2k // swearing + unedited ˖ ✧

🗨️ .. ⌞ XOXO ⌝ i kinda went AWF here... hoon's is kinda short :( + [m.list]

౨ৎ ˖ 이희승 — ❪ LEE HEESEUNG ❫

after receiving a series of confusing texts with more than half the words misspelled, your confusion is finally quelled by a call from your best friend at around 1 am. only to hear a bunch of mumbled out words, slurred and somewhere along the lines of where are you.. i miss you :( … jungwon finally has to intervene and ask you to come pick up heeseung’s very, very drunk self from the bar they were all at.

you go there to do the same and while trying to support his weak figure and helping him walk out, you nag at him, as one does. nothing out of the ordinary, just the usual “he should be taking better care of himself” rant, before he cuts you off by pressing his lips to yours.

and for a moment, you freeze. the slightly bitter sweet taste of alcohol so intoxicating that you find yourself unable to actually react. he pulls away after a short kiss, string of saliva stretching to complete the distance, which he promptly dives back in to lick away, before passing out on top of you. and from then on, you just can’t bring yourself to act normal around him. oops…

⋅ ˚ ଳ ₊ ‧ others utc

౨ৎ ˖ 박종성 — ❪ JAY PARK ❫

when one of the most notorious fuckboys of your university campus asked him about you, jay was mildly annoyed to say the least. the boy pretty much yapped his ear off about you, making a very poor attempt to be nonchalant about the whole thing because he was clearly desperate to get a chance to be with you.

your best friend couldn’t help but be pissed at your insane ability to attract creeps. on a whim, majorly only because he wanted to see the reaction on earlier mentioned fuckboy’s face, he announced that the two of you were actually dating. so, if jaehyun or whatever his name was didn’t mind, could he kindly fuck off and never make the mistake of even wandering near a 5 metre radius of you? many thanks.

jay conveniently forgets to mention this event to you, though, meaning you only find out much later from one of jaehyun's friends and by then it's too late to do anything because now, the whole campus is convinced you're dating...

౨ৎ ˖ 심재윤 — ❪ JAKE SIM ❫

ah, yes. the ol' "can you teach me how to kiss?" he would tell you all about this girl he's into, she's his soulmate, he swears. an absolute angel, the most perfect individual he's ever seen.

the only problem is .. he's scared he's not experienced enough. what if she goes to kiss him and he's super, super awkward about it? god, he'd be mortified! jake really has no other choice than to ask you for help. you get where he's coming from right? so you'll help him?

... and you do, because it couldn't hurt right? it's your moral duty to help your best friend get bitches, after all. just don't question why what was supposed to be only one kiss has long extended into a full drawn, make out session. and definitely don't question why he's pulled you into his lap, and is leaving small bites on your neck that will definitely bloom into hickies soon — all this is just for practice!

౨ৎ ˖ 박성훈 — ❪ PARK SUNGHOON ❫

this mf will have it all planned. if he wants to have you he'll do anything within his ability to get you to fall for him just as much as he's fallen for you - friendship be damned. sunghoon would be subtle about it though, while also simultaneously being such a little shit with the whole thing... like he would definitely not be above straight up using thirst traps and sending you slightly ... risqué texts. a few pictures here and there, with his pretty muscles fully on display for you. if you happen confront him about it, he'll just use the excuse of not being so good with his new phone... you understand right? :/

౨ৎ ˖ 김선우 — ❪ KIM SUNWOO ❫

first dates are always exciting. you especially adore the getting ready part because your best friend sunoo just happens to have really good taste in fashion. there's no way you'd embark on a single shopping trip without him and his expert opinions. it's the cherry on top that he's extremely supportive and hypes you up like he's literally being paid to.

conversations circling somewhat around "... and you're sure this looks fine, right sunoo?" "yes. trust me, you look fine as hell..." have become a norm to an almost shocking extent. which is perfectly fine, friends are meant to be supportive. this is totally normal! <3

... that is, until the same best friend has you pinned up against the mirror top where you'd been doing your make up, a finger on your chin angling your face towards his own, mumbling out a quiet "hey. don't go on that date."

౨ৎ ˖ 양정원 — ❪ YANG JUNGWON ❫

okay no one question me on this. don’t even perceive my thoughts on this, really. but think about having a horrible break up. just the absolute worst, "dumped via a text" break up.

it’s for the best, you know that. your ex was an absolute piece of shit. more than enough people had told you how much better you could do, exchanged not so subtle whispers wondering why someone like you was with someone like... him.. the biggest advocate against your relationship was none other than jungwon. which makes sense, considering he, as your best friend, would only want the absolute best for you. nothing more, nothing less.

armed with cheesy romcoms and comfy blankets, jungwon had done whatever he could to get your mind off of the asshole behind the cause of your sadness. but ... when nothing works, he can only sigh. desperate times call for desperate measure, right? as your friend, it's only natural he'd be willing to do ... certain favors for you.

he takes your face in both of his hands, wiping off the tears gently. “there’s other ways, you know? of distraction.” a soft brush of his lips to the corner of your mouth, “other ways to make you forget all about him…”

౨ৎ ˖ 西村力 — ❪ NISHIMURA RIKI ❫

playing silly games like truth or dare always gets him way too competitive for some reason. but, being dared to play the pocky game with his own best friend was the place where niki drew a line. for once, he wouldn’t have minded letting it go, wouldn’t have minded being the bigger person and accepting defeat – he didn’t want to make you uncomfortable for any reason, after all.

but when jake and the others started teasing him about it? saying that niki was just a wuss, being oh so scared of just a tiny little kiss, wasn’t he? my guy all but lost complete reasoning. he snatched a strawberry pocky stick, placing it in his mouth with such speed that it was almost shocking that the fragile biscuit didn’t break from it.

but it's fine, you don't mind helping him prove a point. so you're more than willing to comply. only... the way his eyes stare into yours as the distance between your lips lessens and lessens makes a strange (but definitely not unwelcome) warmth spread through your entire being. you finally end up breaking the pocky in favor of looking away, completely ignoring the questioning look in your best friend's eye.

𐙚 . regulars : @chrrific ⋆

[@bambisnc] 2k25

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heesmiles · 2 months ago

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can I get something about sugardaddy heeseung spoiling his sugarbaby with smut please

diamond's are a girls best friend l.hs

synopsis ⤑ sugar daddy Heeseung showing his sugar baby just how much she means to him...

pairings ⤑ sugar daddy!heeseung x sugar baby!reader word count ⤑ 746

warnings ⤑ smut mdni, power imbalance, (no age gap he's just rich), corruption kink (kinda), daddy kink, pwop essentially, short drabble. enhypen masterlist & more ⤑ here.

“How’s my sweet girl..” Your legs were pushed to your chest, an otherwise uncomfortable position turned incredibly erotic. Heeseung’s hand making an indent in the plushness of your thighs as he helped to steady your trembling legs.

He was spoiling you, much like he always did. Marking his territory and taking you every which way he wanted. and you let him, because you loved the attention and craved the reward of it all.

The jewels, the money, the trips and the gifts. You loved it. The lavish lifestyle and all its rewards. You would never deny such simple pleasure, such simply thrills. Heeseung was a simple man. Give him what he wanted and you’d get anything money could buy. It helped that the sex was good, like mind numbingly good. He knew your body like the back of his hand and the pleasure coursing through your veins right now was a testament to that.

“Fuck.” You squeaked. Your legs bent to your chest as Heeseung hovered about you his hips smacking against yours harshly. “I said..” Heeseung heaved. His voice rough and gravely “How’s my sweet girl?”

“Good.” You moaned clenching around his cock, your mind numb with pleasure.

“Bad girl.” Heeseung tsked pulling all the way out of you. You whined the empty feeling almost unbearable. “You know what to call me.”

“I’m sorry daddy..” You moaned. Tears pricked at your eyes the frustration building up like a dam ready to burst. You needed him, badly. You would beg if you had to. “Please..please.”

“Please what baby?” Heeseung tilts his head at you. Taunting you, teasing you. He would have you in a puddle on the floor, all he had to do was ask. “What do you need.”

“Please..” Your voice was weak. Barely able to utter much of a sentence “Please..i need you daddy.”

“Okay baby.” Heeseung grab at your legs again spreading them apart, rubbing up and down on your thighs carefully. He lined himself at your entrance tapping the tip against your sensitive nub before sliding back in slowly. His thrusts were shallow, still toying with your need for him. You whined out his name begging for him to go harder, faster. Anything to snap the coil twisting in your belly. To quench the thirst you had for him.

His fingers curled around the pearls necklace on your neck twirling the beads in his nimble fingers. His hips snapped against your hips hard but steady. Enough to push your body slightly up the bed and cause a tremble in your legs. “You look so pretty baby..” Heeseung sighed continuing to toy with the pearls on your neck. “Look so good with my present on your neck. letting everyone know you’re mine.” His hips smacked against yours harshly causing a squeak to fall from your lips.

“Oh my god.” You mumbled reaching your hand up to his forearms for leverage. “So good..daddy..so good.”

“That’s a good girl..fuck.” Heeseung’s pace quickened. His hips now smashing into yours over and over again with quick precision. Your body felt alive, the heat in your belly bubbling readying to boil over and explode. Your wonton moans fell from your lips like a mantra overcome with the pleasure of Heeseung nestled deep inside of you.

“Does my baby deserve my cum?” Heeseung asked, reaching a hand up to cup at your supple breast. “How much do you deserve it?”

“So-so much.” You hiccup “Please daddy, i want your cum.” Your hips stuttered and rose to meet his. Your craving to cum strong as he continued his assault on your most sensitive part. You mumbled smalls whines and pleas for him to give you what you wanted, to spoil you with his spend.

“I’m close-“ He hissed raising a hand and harshly smacking your breast, a gasp left your lips. Yours legs trembled as the band deep inside you snapped sending you hurdling towards your orgasm. The white hot seer of pleasure coursed through you like an electric shock. Heeseung’s hands yanked at the pearls around your neck sending them flying across the room around you.

You didn’t care much. Too occupied with Heeseung’s hips snapping then stilling against yours as he came deep inside of you. His grunts and groans taking up space in the otherwise quiet of his bedroom.

He fought to catch his breath. Sliding out of you carefully hissing at the feeling. “You did so good.” He praised. “I think you deserve an award, no?”

taglist. (★) @izzyy-stuff , @beomiracles , @filmnings , @dawngyu , @hyukascampfire , @saejinniestar , @notevenheretbh1 , @hwanghyunjinismybae

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okwonyo · 8 months ago

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THE BOY IS MINE, 或 𓈒𓈒 proofs that they are yours.

𝒾 ⠀⦂ ⠀ 엔하이픈 형선 ୨୧ f ╱ r! 3OO fluff established relationship ── non idol au not proofread ⠀ ｡｡ ⠀ ( 𝑜𝑜𝑒𝑢𝑣𝑟𝑒𝑠 )

지아 ⠀⦂ ⠀typed all this on pc and did not proofread .. i hope you all enjoy nonetheless ><

rblgs♥︎fdbcks & C𝑙𝑖CK

HEESEUNG

as his phone’s wallpaper, would have a picture of you that he took in zero point five. would tend to stare at it with a idiotic smile before kissing it.

always would refer to you as his girl— well, more like, ‘my girl’— whenever he talks about you, which is a lot. and would giggle freely when his friends teasingly talk about ‘heeseung’s girl’.

JONGSEONG

would keep a picture that he took at your first date in his wallet fondly. at every anniversary, would renew it and would often stare at it, before putting it close to his heart when he misses you dearly.

would carry himself with a pendant with the first letter of your name on. which would be the cause of the penury of several shirts with ‘v’ shaped necks— as he would buy about the entirety of them.

JAEYUN

on almost every social media he owns, would have you as his profile pictures. which would always create some rise of confusion when he posts and you would always laugh at the comments asking who runs this account— since he would post you a lot too.

would always get extremely kissy when he has to leave the house without you, leading to a bunch of kisses getting exchanged. wouldn’t even notice the couple of lipstick stain on his face when he walks in the streets.

SUNGHOON

would give you matching jewelry whenever he can. although discreet, the promise ring shining on your ring finger would refrain some from thirsting too much on you— or on him, for that matter.

whenever you are out together, would be attached to your hip. not even in the touchy way, but would just follow you everywhere you go— like your shadow or a watermark. where you are, he would be there too.

ㅤㅤ𓈒ㅤㅤ𓈒 taglist open.

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cherryw0n · 9 days ago

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The Walls — lhs

nocturna series

pairing: dabbler!heeseung x addict!reader (afab)

synopsis: the world of intoxication and ecstasy was something you never thought could be so enchanting, so tempting. until you went spiraling into it unable to supress the inner cravings and strong thirst for something so forbidden but so euphoric.

genre: angst, smut, fluff

contains: drug consumption, drug addiction, alcohol consumption, coctailing, unprotected sex, smoking, established relationship

smut warnings: dom!heeseung x sub!reader, high sex, unprotected sex, dryhumping, manhandling, overstimulation, begging, cum play, oral (f. & m. receiving), dirty talk, praise, spit play, facesitting, snowballing, masturbation (f.)

NOT PROOFREAD! (english is not my first language)

MDNI!

It was his fault.

No.

It was really his fault.

But he himself couldn't stop, at least not right now.

The kisses you were leaving all over his neck, your hands groping every inch of his shoulders as you grinded over him on his lap made him weak. He threw his head back, moaning in pure bliss, the blood in his veins pumping fast, carrying adrenaline together with something more, something addictive. Cocaine.

You yourself weren't a stranger to it. If not, you were a little too far gone than Heeseung. It was enthrilling. Euphoric. No other feeling could compare to it, no other experience is equal to it. Just pure heaven. The arousal spread through your body faster, tactical. Every sound he made seemed so far yet so close. Your mind was fuzzy, body felt light and limp, it was only desire that moved you.

"Fuck baby—" He groaned out the moment you bit down into his jugular, messily letting the saliva slide down. Your thighs trapped his hips down to the couch, his slight thursts lazyly losing power with each grind down of your clothed cunt. The room felt suffocating, curtains were pulled over the windows, not letting any of the moonlight in. Only source of light was a small lamp right by the couch, casting shadows all over the living room as much as it's weak light reached.

Heeseung threw back his head, whines leaving his parted plump lips whilst you pulled back and locked your gaze on his expression. Fuck. You moaned, half lidded eyes fighting to stay open with each grind of your hips becoming harsher and faster. His sweats were drenched, your juices mixing into a messy patch. His hard lenght pressed into your pantie covered folds, sliding and letting you feel everything even over the clothes.

He was a mess, whiny. He could feel his orgasm approaching with each bump of his covered tip over your clit. Heeseung's head pulsed, the pleasure getting to his every nerve and the only thing he could do to brace himself for the high of the highs was to bite down on his forearm that he drapped over his mouth in a poor attempt to stop the sounds of becoming any louder than they already are. His other hand traveled to your hip, pushing you down harder in a desperate chase of his long awaited orgasm. "Hee, it feels so good!" You whined out, voice already hoarse from all the sounds that you let out for the past hour of humping and making out.

Heeseung was out, his eyes were tight shut, head still thrown back as his teeth dug deeper into his flesh. He nodded vigorously, not caring that you weren't getting the confirmation back. His hips gained the rhythm back, harshly fucking up into your slippery folds, cock already sore, sensitive and on the brink of bursting. You were so gone, the high of the drug not letting you down, only letting your body succumb to the pleasure easier. "Baby I'm gonna cum!" You closed your eyes, focusing on the hot knot on the verge of explosion, hands sliding over your swollen breasts, giving them a rough squezze. "Ah fuck...harder—" You cried out, head thrown back at the harsh slide of his tip over your swollen bud. It was all it took for pleasure to overflow you, hips sttutering, mouth agape open as you humped yourself through the climax.

Heeseung was there too, and the moment he hurriedly looked at your body over his lap, shaking from your own orgasm, and feeling your hot drenched pussy drag in a slightly slower grinds as you indulged in every and each second of your high, he moaned loudly letting his own take over. His tights trembled, humps became sloppy, his heart hammered violently against his ribcage as he released in the confinement of his briefs with the loudest moan he ever elicited.

Hard breathing filled the room, breaths mixing messily as your head spun from the overwhelming pleasure. His chest heavied up and down, glistening with thin layer of sweat, exhsustingly trying to get to some air. You reached over to the night table with the lamp right by the couch and swiped your finger on the residue of white powder, slowly raising it to your lips and sucking it off. You moaned in delight, eyes rolling to the back of your head.

Heeseung observed you, the both highs slowly wearing off. But you on the other hand were still having fun. The euphoric smile on your face as you felt the small crytal powder against your taste buds was telling enough. Your hips grinded against him again, getting a small hiss of sensitivity back but you were still out of it, out of this reality. "Heeseung, I want more..." You cuddled into his chest, whiny voice barely sounded stable as you kissed his neck. He chuckled, peeling you off of him and bringing you up to face him.

"You want what Y/N?"

His thumb brushed your bottom lip, pulling it down before letting it bounce back. Just as he was about to pull his finger away you grabbed his hand, hazed red eyes looking up at him through the lashes. "Coke..." You took his thumb into your mouth, sucking harshly and messily. A breathy laugh left his throat at those words and he smiled teasingly. Smiled because he didn't know what mess will be created from just letting you in on his world of dabbling drugs, just simply enjoying the high for fun.

"Got you addicted to high sex, huh baby?"

And it was a mistake.

A big mistake that can't be undone as wished.

• • • • • •

Music hit Heeseung's eardrums unplesantly loud, making him silently wince in response as the entrace door closed behind him. He was hit with a smell of smoke invading his nosetrils, leaving a burning sensation up his sinuses as his eyes stinged due to the toxic fume. As he slowly took steps down the hall here and there couples were scattered around, some talking, some fighting and some making out using the hall as a secluded area for their private matters. He stepped into the living room where the rest of the party was and the scene fully unraveled before him.

Heat rushed over him instantly. The air was thick with the scent of alcohol, sweat and something undistinguishable. A makeshift dance floor had formed near the speakers, bodies moving in a reckless rhythm, lost in the music. A couple lounged on the couch, too deep in their own world to notice the people around them. The coffee table was scattered with red plastic cups and half-empty bottles, illuminated by the soft erratic glow of the neon sign placed on the wall.

Jake always knows how to throw a good party, that's for sure.

"You finally made it!"

The sudden collision with you attaching to his chest and hugging him startled him. He gasped in surprise but quickly, a smile was on his face as he hugged you back. "Woah, slow down girl!" You giggled against his thick hoodie, in the process getting some of the liquor from your cup onto his clean clothes. Heeseung felt the warmth of your body against his, but something was off. Your grip was tight—too tight. Your fingers trembled slightly where they clutched at his hoodie, and when you pulled back, he got a better look at you. Pupils were blown wide, your smile lopsided in a way that wasn’t just from the alcohol. The faint smell of vodka clung to your breath, mixing with something sharper, something artificial. He could tell.

Heeseung forced a smile, tucking a strand of hair behind your ear as he studied you. "You feeling good?" His tone was casual, but his mind was racing. You grinned, nodding quickly. "So good. You should catch up, baby." You said, pressing a cold cup into his hand. Your fingers lingered on Heeseung's, eyes gleaming with a kind of feverish excitement. "Maybe later." He gave you a tight lipped grin as he placed the cup on the nearest table. Your red and hazy eyes still looking up at him, giggling to yourself.

His stomach clenched. He'd been the one to introduce you to the world of casual highs, to the occasional pill or line at a party when the night called for it. But you had been careful, hesitant even. Lately, though, that hesitation had vanished. And tonight? You were on something more than just alcohol—he could see it in the way your body swayed, like you weren't fully anchored to the ground.

It scared him.

Your relationship was just taking it's leap. Six months and counting, the first day you met still fresh in his mind as a day. And how could it not be? You got together just a few months ago, still getting to know some parts of one another and getting comfortable. You were a good girl, shy at first, always up in your own small world, kind and smart. You were everything Heeseung could ask for in a girl. But now, you were slowly changing. Maybe he shouldn't have brought you to one of these parties a couple of months ago, maybe he shouldn't have let you see him taking a ecstasy pill, maybe just maybe he didn't have to give you that pill too.

"Yo, Hee!" Heeseung's attention was stolen by the new approaching figure. "Hey Jake, what's up? " He stood before him grinning as he dabbed him up. Jake's cologne was mixed with the ever-present scent of booze and smoke in the air, his dark hair slightly tousled like he'd already been through a few rounds of partying. He glanced between Heeseung and your slow body giggling for no reason, and he gave his friend a look of concern, his eyes filled with something that only they could understand at the moment. Heeseung let his eyes drift to the ground before wandering all over the place, scanning the strangers in a attempt to avoid the pressure of his friend's gaze, and Jake got the message.

"You finally decided to show up!" Jake spoke teasingly over the loud music, getting a little closer to Heeseung. Heeseung forced a smirk. "Wouldn't miss it." Jake chuckled and held out a shot glass that he already brought with him in preparation. "Then prove it." Heeseung glanced at you and your swaying figure, the half empty glass he took out of your grip earlier now in your hands again. You seemed loose and carefree, enjoying the rhythmic bass as you let it get to you and be the only thing occupiying your mind. His uneasiness didn't fade, but it was drowned put by the heat of moment — the music, the energy. Maybe he was overthinking. Maybe you were just having fun.

And as if let off the leash, he grabbed the shot from Jake's hand and downed it in one go. The burning liquor left a heating sensation down his throat, making him grimace. Jake whooped in approval, getting himself a unopened beer from the table and handing one to Heeseung too.

And just like that, the night swallowed him whole.

Hours blurred into moments—more drinks, more laughter. Heeseung kept an eye on you, watching for any sign that you were spiraling, but the alcohol dulled the sharp edge of his suspicion. Every time he caught you giggling at nothing or losing focus mid-conversation, he told himself it was fine. You were fine. His concern that sat deep in his chest was replaced with carelessness the more he let himself enjoy the night, but it was till he felt your fingers lacing through his, pulling him with as you both stumbled through the crowd together.

Strangers brushed past him, some with barely a glance, others throwing quick smiles or playful shoves as they moved through the crowd. But it was all a blur to his tipsy mind. Dimly lit hall way was somehow empty, the only two figures that stumbled into it were you two, his hands gripped at your waist as you pushed him harshly against the wall capturing his lips in a hungry kiss.

No slow build up like usual, no teasing. Just a messy hungry kiss. Your mouth moved sloppily against his, making Heeseung smile into the kiss. You were barely standing, pathetically holding onto his shoulders as he held you up against him by the waist, the glass that you refused of letting go the whole night still somehow gripped in your palm. Agitation took over your whole body, but it was fighting with all its streght to stay collected. Your muscles were slowly giving out, but the euphoria that traveled through your system was not persisting.

You were pressing yourself against Heeseung harder, desperate to keep on partying, to keep the heat going. Heeseung whined against your lips, saliva messily dripping between your bodies and right onto your exposed clevage. You lips all of a sudden felt numb, tongue too as if something paralyzed them. No sensation was felt on them whatsoever and then your grip loosened, hands gripped at Heeseung's hoodie, lips disconnected as he was taken aback.

Heeseung barely had time to process it before your body gave out, knees buckling. A choked sound escaped your throat as if your brain was struggling to keep up with what was happening to your own body.

"Hey—" Heeseung caught you before you could hit the floor, his arms wrapping around your waist instinctively. His heartbeat, which had been pounding from the drunken high of the moment, now raced for an entirely different reason. You were trembling.

Your head lolled against his chest, breathing uneven. Heeseung quickly switched your positions, pressing your back against the wall for support. His hands framed your face, tilting your chin up so he could see your eyes. They were unfocused, pupils blown wide, expression dazed as if you weren't fully present.

"Babe—" His voice came out hoarse, the alcohol in his system doing little to soften the sharp panic slicing through him. "Hey, talk to me." Your lips parted, but no words came out. Eyes blinking sluggishly, like you were trying to wake up from a dream but couldn't find your way back. Heeseung sobered up in an instant.

This wasn’t just being drunk. This wasn’t just a high.

His stomach turned as realization hit him all at once—whatever you had taken, it was too much. Way too much. He had seen people go too far before, seen the way their bodies stopped listening to them when the mix of substances became lethal. But never you. Never this. Heeseung swallowed hard, pushing down the rising fear in his chest.

"Jake!" His voice cracked as he turned his head, searching the crowd for his friend through the living room door, hoping that somehow someone will hear. "Jake—help!" Everything around him blurred—the music, the people, the party. None of it mattered anymore. The only thing that mattered was keeping you awake. Keeping you here. Heeseung pressed his forehead against yours, gripping you tighter. "Stay with me, okay?" His voice was barely above a whisper now, his own breath shaking. "Just stay with me."

"Hey what's happe—"

"Jay! Help me get her to the bathroom! Quick!" He picked you up in his arms, running into the living room and through the crowd of piled up people, getting some insults and shows back, but he didn't care. Jay ran after him, being the only one in this whole party that didn't touch a drop of alcohol or any kind of drug since he got here ten minutes ago. The climb up the stairs felt excruciatingly longer than usual, Heeseung dodged bodies and bodies. "Move — move!" Jake barked,dragging open the bathroom door, Heeseung barged inside quickly putting you down by the sink. "Grab the sink Y/N, hold yourself up, come on." Jay slammed the door shut, fiddling with the lock hurriedly until it clicked.

Heeseung instructed to you whilst he got the water facet on, cold water numbing his fingers under the stream as he got it on your face. "Jay, hold her." Heeseung was panicking but still held his composure with his movements sharp and precise. The other boy slipped right by you, grabbing your arms that weakly gripped the sink. "She's burning up..." Jay's hand flew to your forehead. "What the hell did she take?" Jay spoke, his usually playful demeanor nowhere to be seen. Heeseung ignored the question. He didn’t know, and right now, it didn’t matter. All that mattered was getting you back.

The music was thumbing in your head, the bass ringing off in a drowsy melody. Your ears felt stuffed, muscles weak and worn out, eyes were fixed on one dot with your mind blank and dazed. It all felt too unreal. The coldness on your face and neck made you shiver. Slight trembles were shaking you, breathing still shallow. You flinched when another splash of water meet your face, a small gasp leaving your dry mouth and lashes fluttering. Heeseung kept on cupping your face with cold water, bringing it down to your neck too. "Come on Y/N!" He spoke loud and clear, emphasizing your name.

Your breathing was still shallow, but as Heeseung pressed another handful of cool water to your warm skin, your eyes started to clear—just a little. Fingers twitched weakly against the edge of the sink with Jay still clutching you in his arms. "There you are..." Heeseung whispered, his voice barely steady, breathing still deep.

You blinked up at him, lips parting slightly as if you were about to say something—but then a sharp gasp tore from your throat. Before either of them could react, you lurched forward, retching violently into the sink. Heeseung's chest tightened, but relief washed over him at the same time. Your body was fighting back. You were coming down. Jay moved beside you, grabbing a towel and wetting it before handing it over. "She's gonna be okay. " He said, more to himself than anyone else. Heeseung nodded, rubbing your back gently as you clutched the sink, breaths ragged and uneven.

Heeseung hovered over you, one of his hands now grabbing at bits of your hair as the other gripped the wet towel, his jaw clenched tight. His gaze observed your flushed face as you gripped the sink tighter, knuckles turned white from all the retching and the vomit that was spilling from your sore throat. It was agonizing. The stench that filled the room was like no other, just pure filth of alcoholic vapor. Jay grimaced, covering his mouth with the forearm in a poor attempt to dull the smell.

You struggled to breath whilst vomiting, eyes were glossy and felt like they would fall out of your sockets any minute. The vomit slowed down, your spit getting the last bits out. You gasped for air, mind still unaware of what just happened. You slumped down onto the toilet seat right next to the counter, wiping your mouth with the back of your hand. Your cheeks were flushed, eyes watery but bright, still wide with the remnants of the high. Then, you laughed. A light, airy giggle that echoed off the tiles.

"God... " You said, breathless, looking up at Heeseung with a dazed smile. "That was intense." Jay observed everything, eyes going from your giggly figure up to Heeseung's fuming frame. "I'm gonna leave you two to it..." Jay mumbled before slipping out of the bathroom, giving you two space—or avoiding the fallout. The moment door clicked shut, the world quieted.

You kept on giggling, almost falling off the toilet. Heeseung stood there before you, looking down at your state, party obviously continuing in your head. His fists clenched at his sides, anger raising hot and slow beneath his skin. "Come on, let's go back—" Your hand went to grab his forearm in an attempt to stand up on your wobbly legs but his sharp voice cut you off.

"What did you take?" He asked, voice low, too calm. You blinked up at him, slightly swaying with the smile not faltering. "Relax. I just—" You chuckled softly. "I didn't expect it to hit that hard."

"What. The Fuck. Did you take?" Heeseung spat out through gritted teeth, eyes blazing through you. Your eyes flicked to his again, smile faltered for the first time tonight, eyes squinted as you thought back to it. "I had... two tabs of acid..." You spoke, words dragging against your tongue a little. "Then someone gave me a bump—he said it was just molly... I think there was something else in it. Then vodka. But not that much!—" You smiled up at him at the last part, vision still slightly blurry. His serious expression made you confess, as if he didn't already know. "—not really... "

Heeseung couldn't believe his ears. How reckless you behaved. He took a half step back, racking his hand through his hair with a huff of disbelief. "Jesus Christ—" He stared you down, waiting for any sign of regret, of realization of what you just did for the first time. But none surfaced, only a smiley drunk mess looked back at him, slightly swaying to the beat of music that got to the bathroom. "Are you even hearing yourself right now?!" His tone raised, anger getting the best of him.

"You are so hot when you are angry..." You bit your bottom lip, eyes narrowing in a seductive gaze, back leaning back against the tank. Heeseung was so worked up, not noticing or hearing your comment whilst he continued. "I was not here for the first two hours because of family stuff and you go and do something stupid like this?!" He was particularly yelling at you his hands flying all around with each word. You lazyly grabbed one of his wrist, hooded eyes looking up at him through lashes with his body being pulled close to you. "Why are you so mad? You have done worse. You were the one who told me to stop overthinking this shit and just... feel it."

"Not all at once! Not like this! I didn't tell you to fucking black out" Heeseung was furious, not being able to comprehend that you did something so reckless, something that a month ago would be a story that would creep you out before you went to bed. "You could have collapsed out there!.... If I wasn't with you then what?! You think someone would have noticed?" He stopped, attention finally fully on you that was basically hugging his hips, red glossy eyes looking up at him with your bottom lip stuck between your teeth with your chin resting on his lower stomach. You weren't listening to a thing. He clocked it the moment you two locked eyes, pure lust radiated off you as he huffed in frustration, defeat taking over. "Unbelievable." His voice cut sharp over the distant music letting each syllable bounce off the four tight walls. You giggled at that.

A joke.

This was all a joke to you.

"We are going home. Now."

"Nooo~"

• • • • • •

It's been a month. A month after you almost blacked out. You promised to Heeseung the day after the party when the hangover hit harder then ever that you won't do it again. And boy, was it hard. You got into the relationship with Heeseung knowing that about him. That he does it for fun, occasionally. You were not supportive of it, not one bit, always staying away from any kind of drugs. Throughout the whole high school you never even lit a cigar, let alone tried drugs. So being in relationship with a person who is all about the YOLO motto was kind of new, scary and at the same time refreshing.

You got to try everything that seemed intimidating and always followed with some stigma and fear. You lit your first cigar a month into the relationship at one of the visits to his apartment, surprisingly, on your own request, and he gave you one. The first ever head you got was, again, by him in his car while it rained and you two had to stop due to the downpour. It was mind blowing. Definitely one of the best rainy days to be remembered, that's for sure. The first time you got drunk was again around the same time, a month and a half into the relationship, Jake's house and that hang out is definitely one of core memories.

You could say that you were blooming, finally experiencing all the teenage stuff you missed out on. You felt alive. For the first time in your life you felt the adrenaline of doing something off limits, something that was forbiden for the longest time you could remember. The strictness of your parents that you were under till you turned eighteen was excruciating. But thankfully you were now free of that, the constant nagging now turned into "how was the party" and so on. A breath of fresh air.

On top of all that, you felt safe with Heeseung. One of his biggest virtues is making everyone feel like they belong, like they are protected when near him. And that was what attracted you to him the most. The relationship overall was thriving, you two met at the campus one random day when he actually showed up for the classes, since he had a part time job and could not get to each and every lecture. It all happened so fast, but the instant click was there.

You love him. He was everything you could ask for. Caring, kind, humble, faithful and so on. He was a dream come true. You really hit a jackpot with him as your first boyfriend and you were proud of it, of him.

But it all started slowly crumbling down bit by bit the moment drugs hit your senses. At that time you didn't realize that the clever and occasional highs with your boyfriend would have led you here.

You sat at your study desk, trying to focus and get this part of the lesson over with, but it was hard. Your leg kept on bouncing under the table, fingernails were all the time between your teeth, some of them already bleeding and red. Your mind raced with the words from the paper running around in a hope of distraction. It was no use. Your mouth was dry, no sip of water could get it hydrated enough as the water simply seemed to evaporate from your organism the moment it came in contact with it.

"Fuck." You groaned under your breath, hands coming up and messing with your hair before they rested in it. You need something. You really do or you will go insane. Abruptly getting up, you went over to your drawers and opened the first one, rummaging through it you found nothing. You groaned loudly in anger, slamming the drawer shut. You used up all the weed you had, but you knew you needed something stronger. Well as much as you told and promised Heeseung about staying away from any kind of drug that much you were lying.

The thirst was something indescribable, something you never felt before. And it could not be pushed down or forgotten. You craved the drugs. Your body betrayed you, asking for something you knew was forbiden, but it always won. No matter how hard you tried. Heeseung didn't know about your cravings, but you didn't need to tell him, he saw right through you. He knew you good enough to notice that not everything was right.

You walked in circles in the middle of your room, huffing in frustration. What should you do? Racking a hand through your messy hair you stopped. One name on your mind that you knew you could call up. Your shaky hands grabbed your phone from the bed hurriedly, quickly typing in the name and clicking on it.

One ring.

Two rings.

"Hello?"

"Hey Jungwon..."

• • • • • •

It’d been a quiet night. For once.

The apartment smelled faintly like instant noodles and cologne, the blue glow of the TV flickering across the walls as Heeseung leaned back into the couch, controller in hand, eyes locked on the screen. Jay sat on the floor, legs crossed, fingers moving furiously over his own controller. "Bro, you always camp that corner." Jay complained, tossing his head back. "You are such a rat."

"Strategic positioning." Heeseung smirked, taking another shot in game. "Don’t hate the player." Jay groaned and tossed a chip into his mouth. "Your 'strategic positioning' is annoying." The banter rolled easy between them. Normal. It felt good, like space had formed between Heeseung and everything messy he's been drowning in.

Then, his phone lit up. Heeseung's thumb paused over the controler as his eyes flicked over to the bright phone screen.

Y/N<3: come over. I miss u

He stared at it for too long that Jay noticed. "Her?" He asked, eyes back on the screen, thumbs still working over the buttons. "Yeah..." Heeseung mumbled back, already reaching for his leather jacket. "She wants me to come over." Jay's jaw clenched, hesitating before he spoke. "Wait. Before you go..." Heeseung was already on his two feet, swinging the jacket over his shoulders as he got it on. "What?" Jay shifted uncomfortably, eyes all off a sudden interested in the carpet. "I forgot to tell you... She, uh, asked Jungwon for something last week."

Heeseung blinked. "Jungwon? Like...Jungwon Jungwon?" Jay nodded back. "Yeah. Said she hit him up asking for some pills. Something mellow. I didn't think she would actually follow through but—" Heeseung's gut twisted. "You are joking." Jay raised his hands defensively. "I thought you knew." Heeseung was already walking towards the door, aggressively putting his shoes on. "She told me she was done. She looked me in the face and told me she was done."

"I know man. I didn't wanna stir shit up if she was just asking—"

"You should have told me the second you knew!" Heeseung barked, grabbing his keys. Jay stood up, eyes wide. "Wait, Hee! Don't go there pissed, you will just blow up and—" But his friend was already out the door, slamming it on the way out.

His knuckles were white around the steering wheel. Every red light made his pulse throb harder in his temples. The memory of her last time—laughing, stumbling, trying to kiss him like nothing had happened, the parties where you had no restrains played on repeat in his head. He really wanted to classify them as you just having fun, but it was going out of control even before that infamous blackout a month ago. He noticed all the small signs, the slight shakiness of your hands while at lectures, the bit down fingernails, constant drinking of water in a attempt to try and calm yourself. He noticed all. It was till the point he stopped getting high with you when alone, finding excuses like "I'm tired" or "I have none left" just so he wouldn't have to watch you fall apart. He shouldn't have gave you any in the first place to start with.

He regrets it.

You said you stopped and he believed you. And now you were doing it again. Behind his back. When he pulled up in your driveway, he noticed your parents car was not there, the only light in the house being on was in your room. Great. Getting himself out of the car he ringed once and simply let himself in. You were home alone and even left the door unlocked? Pretty responsible.

Heeseung scanned the dark living room, stepping inside and closing the door making sure to turn the lock and get his shoes off before heading up the stairs. Your door was slightly open, letting the light peak through the slight crack. When he pushed the door open, jaw locked tight, he scanned the room like he expected to see drugs lying out in the open. You flinched at the sudden sound, gripping the towel around you tighter as you turned towards the door a small smile on your lips. "Hey Hee..." You adjusted the towel on your head before taking steps towards him. Heeseung stood there, eyes going over your freshly washed body, but stiil, the smell of your baby talc was not the only thing that lingered in the air. Weed.

"Well that was fast—"

"Did you hit up Jungwon for pills?"

Silence.

You stood before him, staring blankly at his serious face. Your lips parted slightly, like you hadn't expected him to lead with that. "What?" You retorted, almost too innocent, your brows narrowed in confusion, slight smile tugging at the corners of your lips. "What are you talking about—"

"Don't lie to me." He took a step closer, and he had what to smell. You reeked of weed, the earthy scent faded but still there. You rolled your eyes, tension tightening your shoulders. "I didn't take anything. I just...asked."

"Why?" He snapped. "Why the hell would you do that? After everything that happened? After I carried you to the bathroom so you wouldn't pass out in the middle of a party?! Wh—"

"God, Heeseung!—" You took a step back, overwhelmed. Eyes now full of something he couldn't decipher, something you yourself couldn't quite put a finger on. "Will you stop for once... " Your chest moved shallowly as your tone changed to a whisper. "Acting like I'm a baby and can't care for myself. Stop playing dad, Jesus!" You turned away from him, taking the towel from your head and throwing it on the bed. Wet hair on your shoulders sent shivers down your spine as you grabbed the comb and started doing your hair in front of the mirror, like nothing happened. Maybe it was you just avoiding conflict. Or you were scared of the confrontation you knew will come with the argument.

"Oh, so now I'm the villain? And for what? For caring too much?! Miss me with that fucking bullshit! You think this is only about that one time huh?!..." Heeseung now stood next to you, your peripheral vision blurred by him standing close whilst you slowly dragged the brush through your wet hair, jaw tightening. "You really think I didn't notice what's been happening to you? How you have been slipping further? You think I didn't clock every excuse, every lie, every time you said it to my face and weren't honest? It's not a phase, Y/N. It's an addiction—"

"Get out of my fucking face!" You pushed at his chest, making him stumble back a bit, but not from the force—but from the slight tremble and a crack in your voice. The brush tumbled to the ground, forgotten. He hit a nerve. You trembled, eyes boring through his, fists clenched by your sides. "Hit a nerve huh—"

"I don’t need you standing there like some savior." you hissed, voice shaking—not from weakness, but rage laced with fear. "Like you are above this. Like you haven't done the same shit, worse even." He scoffed, jaw clenching. "Don't turn this on me. I never lied about what I was doing. I never pretended I was okay."

"No, you just gave it to me!" you shouted, pointing at him. "You were the one who got me into this. You handed me the first pill like it was a game. Don't stand there and act like you’re clean."

"I never thought you'd drown in it." he said, almost under his breath, but the words landed like a punch. "I didn't think you would need it." Your throat tightened. That sting behind your eyes rose fast. But you refused to let it fall. Not in front of him. Not now. "You don’t know what the fuck I need." You muttered, voice barely held together.

"That's what you do, isn't it?" he went on, voice bitter. "You push until people leave so you don't have to face what you’re doing to yourself."

"Oh, fuck you!" You screamed. "You don't know me! You think just because you stuck around during a few breakdowns, you have earned the right to speak like you are some authority on who I am?!"

“I do know you." he growled, stepping forward again. "I know you are smart. I know you are strong. And I know you are so goddamn scared of being vulnerable that you would rather burn down every good thing around you than admit you need help."

You shook your head, shaking with anger, frustration, and fear. "Stop acting like you know everything. I don't need you coming in here trying to fix me. I'm not addicted!" The last words sat heavy on your tongue, your glossy eyes looking straight into his but behind them there was something that couldn't be hidden. Unsureness.

Heeseung's face hardened. "You know what? Maybe not. Maybe I’m not good. But at least I’m not hiding behind a bottle and a fake laugh while I rot from the inside out." That one hurt. You physically recoiled. A tense, horrible silence fell between you both. Breathing hard. Shaking. You spoke first, bitter and cold.

"Get out."

Heeseung’s jaw flexed, eyes burning holes through you. "Gladly." He turned on his heels without another word and stormed out, slamming the door so hard it rattled the frame. You stood there, heart pounding, fists trembling, eyes burning.

You didn't cry.

You didn't move.

You were too mad for tears.

Too hurt to call him back.

And way too scared to admit he might have been right.

• • • • • •

It's been days. Days since you talked to your boyfriend and it was weird. Everyone noticed your distance, especially at the campus where you two litteraly avoided each other. Heeseung needed time. He had to process everything and actually think about what he wants out of this relationship. He had to figure where you two stand. It was not so easy.

You on the other hand felt empty. With Heeseung no longer by your side you felt more alone then ever. You were lonely. Sad to admit, but he was your only company. You never had much friends. The ones you had were left behind by you the moment you entered a relationship with him, and you shouldn't have done it. Heeseung was telling you that, to try to rekindle the contact with some, but you were too deep into your relationship, it consumed you to the point you didn't care for anyone else except him.

It now backfired.

As you sat down on your balcony, the starry sky over you shining and illuminating your face, almost as if caressing your heavy lashes, you were lost. Your eyes were red, red from the drug that was rushing through your bloodstream and playing with every nerve in your brain. The pill had kicked in a while ago—maybe thirty, maybe fifty minutes. Time had melted into something meaningless. Benzos always did that. It didn't hit like a train, didn't smack you across the face. It just...hushed everything. The noise in your head, the ache in your chest, the trembling in your fingers. All muted now. Just a soft, slippery nothing.

The metal chair you sat on felt uncomfortable, digging into your leaned back and backside uncomfortably as you held your legs close to your chest, head thrown back against the wall. You fucked up. You did. And your eyes stang, again. A single tear dropping down your cheek whilst you kept a blank face. He was right. He was right about everything.

Another tear.

You had a problem and you didn't know how to fix that. You shouldn't have touched drugs, you shouldn't have even thought about it. But the thrill pulled you in and made sure you kept coming back. It was a game that rarely who managed to escape, and that thought scared you. You were too prideful, no, too scared to admit what path you were going down just days ago, but now, it was all clear. There was not a day you weren't on something. That's how bad it had become. Crises were becoming a everyday thing, your apearence started to exude your inner conflicts, leading to you going to lectures not caring about proper hygiene. The last days were really a spiral that seemed inevitable. Your meals all the together weren't regular. A mess, that's the last week summed up. A fucking mess.

It had been days since you heard from him. Not a text. Not a call. Not even a passive-aggressive story repost you could overanalyze. Nothing. And somehow, this hurt more than all your fights combined. The tears started pouring down, your shaky hand came up to wipe them off but only more were coming. You gasped, hands rubbing your calfs up and down, a nervous tick that kept going even if you weren't nervous anymore.

You should have been angry. But you weren't. Or maybe you were. You couldn't tell anymore. Everything inside you had flatlined.

The highs weren't fun anymore. It wasn't wild or dizzying or euphoric. It was hollow, only acting like a stabilizer that kept you alive. The cravings did not have mercy. You fucked it all up. And maybe you had. Maybe he was done. Maybe he meant it.

The thought left nothing but a painful ache in your chest. Your head pounded, body trembled as the tears heavied your vision, the night sky now dissolving into one big blur, the sobs never stopped .

• • • • • •

The sound of laughter and bicker bounced off the alley walls next to Heeseung's building as the friends kept on talking. The city buzzed in the background, cars passing, distant chatter of people, the light bass of the music on the rooftop bar could be felt. Heeseung sat on the wodden crate with the half-burned cigar between his fingers, legs stretched out in front of him, his head tipped back as he exhaled slowly.

Jay was leaned up against the opposite wall, flipping the lighter open and shut out of habit whilst Sunghoon and Jake debated over some movie trivia, their voices loud but harmless. "Bro, I'm telling you..." Jake insisted, pointing his cigar like it was a mic. "It wasn't his real kid, it was a setup." Sunghoon scoffed at that, rolling his eyes. "Shut up. You always think everything is a conspiracy." Jay let out a chuckle at their stupid argument. "Y'all sound like a YouTube comment section." He looked over to Heeseung. "Back me up."

Heeseung gave a half-laugh, corners of his lips tugging up slightly. "I'm too high for logic right now." Everyone laughed just for a moment. Everything seemed fine. Until Jay's eyes lingered too long on Heeseung's face, reading the quiet behind the smirk. Then he spoke. "So... You heard from Y/N?" The laughter stopped like someone had hit mute, Sunghoon and Jake turning to Heeseung, noticing the uneasiness after the mention of you. His jaw ticked, fingers tightening slightly around the cigar. He didn't look at them, just took another drag, slow and heavy. "Not tryna start something. Just asking." Jay added on in defence.

Heeseung let the smoke sit on his tongue for a second before blowing it out with a scoff. "No, I haven't." The words lingered heavy in the air, Sunghoon and Jake exchanged a look but didn't say anything. Jay leaned a bit, voice low. "You miss her?" Heeseung stared ahead, watching the smoke snake through the air, his mind blank but at the same time racing before be answered. "Of course..." Jay nodded slowly, flicking the ash onto the ground. "You think she is gonna come back from it?"

Silence.

Heeseung finally looked at him, eyes darker then usual. "I don't know. That's the part that pisses me off the most. I don't know." There was a long pause. City was still bustling, but here it felt like it was frozen. "I tried." voice quiter now but still sharp. "I tried to pull her out, talks and talks. But it seems like she doesn't get the weight of it. This is all just a getting loose thing to her and it pisses me off. Acting like a fucking child..." The boys stared at him, their eyes carrying something more—sympathy, maybe. Or guilt.

"And every time I bring it up she turns it on me. I get it! I get it that I shouldn't have let her dabble with me, but I didn't know she was that labile..." Jay nodded again, humming in understanding. Sunghoon cleared his throat, breaking the awkward silence with the offer. "You wanna hit something more after this? Grab a drink or something?"

Heeseung blinked, taking the last long drag from the cigar, toxic smoke spreading through his lungs before it exited through his nostrils and slightly parted lips, creating a cloud of fog over his head. He let the cigarette butt down by him, stepping with his heel on it before he answered. "Fuck yeah."

Jake whooped and threw his unfinished cigar. "Let's go!" Like always, he was up for drinking and partying. His reaction got smiles on other boys' faces, light laughter filled the alley. Heeseung knew he needed this. No regret or overthinking tonight, just simple night out with his friends. Carefree and alive. Tonight, he will get you off his mind, even if that only lasted a couple of hours.

He needs this.

• • • • • •

The clicking of cutlery against porcelain echoed softly in the dinner room together with your parents banter. The dinner before you looked beautiful—roasted vegetables, grilled chicken, all neatly plated and ready to be devoured. But you couldn't stomach any of it. You sat at the table, shoulders slouched as you stirred the rice unappetizingly with your fork. Your eyes were tired, the tired that makeup couldn't hide anymore. Your frame was hugged by a baggy hoodie, sleeves run down your arms as if almost trying to swallow you.

"You barely touched your plate." Your mom said gently, pausing her glass of water halfway to her lips. "Are you still feeling sick?" You blinked slowly. "Yeah..." You murmured under your breath. "Still kinda... off." Your dad glanced up from his phone, eyes drifting from a important email and right to your weak figure. His eyebrow furrowed. "You missed three days of classes. You sure you are okay?" Concern could be heard in his gentle tone.

"I'm fine." You answered a little too quickly, voice flat. "It's probably just the flu or something." Your mom gave you a look, skeptical but not confrontational. "Maybe we should take you to a doctor, sweetie." You shook your head. "No. I'm just tired. I'll be okay." A silence took over for a few seconds, your fork again in the plate before you, scraping it. Then your mom spoke again, more careful this time.

"I haven't seen Heeseung around for awhile. Everything okay between you two?"

The fork stilled in your hand. Your eyes locked to the plate, breathing barely noticeable. The question sliced through you —normal, casual, but you still couldn't answer it. Your mouth was opening but nothing came out. Your throat tightened, tongue sat heavy and dry. The silence grew noticeable, both of your parents now hyper focused on you, every movement stopping. Your mothers brow's knitted together. "Y/N?" You still didn’t answer.

You didn't know what to say. How do you explain that the boy they once smiled at across the doorway has not spoken to you for weeks since the last time he looked at you was like a stranger when you were in the same room together? That you couldn't bring yourself to feel normal anymore, not in your skin, not in your thoughts—and you didn't even have a good enough reason for why you spiraled in the first place.

Your dad glanced between you and your mother, he didn't push. He never did.

You finally forced a weak shrug, voice flat. "We have just been... busy. He's been with his friends." Your voice cracked in the middle, so quietly that your mother had to lean in to catch it. More silence. Your mom smiled faintly, not convinced of your words. "Alright. Well... Let us know if you want to talk about anything." You nodded quickly eyes never leaving the plate.

But in your chest, shame coiled tight—hot and choking. They didn't know. Not really. And if they ever did… if they ever truly looked close enough—

You took a shaky breath and stabbed a piece of cold chicken.

Pretending was easier.

• • • • • •

The room was dim, lit by only your bright phone screen and the moonlight that came down through the blinds. The house was quiet, pretty quiet. Your parents were working night shifts again, so that meant no people to distract you. Sheets were tangled at your feet, music playing low from the speaker, something ambient and slow, barely keeping you tethered to reality. You sat up as you clicked on the first icon in the message app, staring at the last message you had sent him.

You: come over. I miss u

It woke up the ache that you worked so hard to avoid. But there's no going back now. Your finger trembled as they danced over the keyboard, typing and retyping the same message with unsureness.

You: I miss you

Send.

You: Please come over

Send.

You: Please

Send. Send. Send.

Your chest tightened, a dull sharp ache pulsing behind your ribs. The benzodiazepines rolled through your bloodstream, turning your thoughts into a slush and muting the sharpness of the world. You didn't feel the pain exactly—not like you should have. It was more like you were watching yourself fall apart from the other side of the room. A weak laugh escaped your lips, cracked and breathy as if you were barely standing. Your hand wiped under your eyes. You didn't know if you were crying again or your vision was distorted from the high. Maybe both.

No reply.

You stared at the screen until the words blurred, until your thumb hit the message bar again and typed without thinking.

You: I'm sorry. I fucked up. I just want you. Please just come.

The silence in the room was unbearable. You fell back against the pillows, eyes locked on the ceiling. Everything felt too quiet but too loud at the same time. Your limbs were warm and numb, heartbeat slow and steady, but your thoughts spun in circles, clashing. You couldn't stop seeing his face. The way he looked at you during your last fight — angry, hurt, done. It made your gut twist at the reviving.

You sent another message.

You: I just want to feel something real again

• • • • • •

The phone buzzed once. Twice. Again. Heeseung looked at it from where he was sitting at the edge of his bed, hair damp from the late night shower, hoodie half zipped up, blunt burning low between his fingers. The screen lit up with your name, over and over again.

Y/N<3: I miss u

Y/N<3: Please come

Y/N<3: I just want to feel something real again

He stared at it, jaw tense, stomach flipping. He could already tell—you were high. The pattern, the desperation, the timing. Everything added up. He knew that too well. His thumb hovered over the screen, his pulse jumped. He hated you for doing this. He hated himself for caring. But most of all, he was hating how fast he was standing up and grabbing his keys.

He was already in your driveway, no sign of your parents car. Of course. Of course you get high and call him when you are alone. He exited the car, pulse quickening with every step he took towards the door. No light was on in the house, not even your own room. The front door creaked open under his hand. Heeseung didn't ring. He never had to.

You always left it unlocked whenever you wanted him to come. It became a unspoken rule that still somehow stood. Even now—weeks after the fallout, after everything that was said and left unsaid.

He took a step inside, slow and cautious, scanning the dark familiar living room. The whole place was quiet, dead almost. He was not even sure if anyone was at all home. He shut the door and made his way up the stairs, no light was needed, it was all too familiar. With each step up the stairs his heart hammered, throat tight. Am I really doing this again?

Reaching the top, he could see the weak light coming from under your door which was slightly cracked open, like always. He took steps and finally was face to face with the comfort of your room, only separated by the thin wood. The moment he pushed the door open, there you were. Sitting cross-legged on the bed, hoodie slipping off one shoulder, hair wild and unbrushed. Your phone was clutched in your hand and eyes red and unfocused, blinking slowly. Your head turned sluggishly when you felt him on the doorway. You didn't flinch, didn't say anything. You just stared at him like he was the only thing keeping you tethered to this world with wet cheeks and watery eyes.

"You left the door unlocked..." Heeseung spoke flatly, almost lifelessly as his eyes scanned you. How glassy your eyes were, pupils blown wide, how you were barely holding yourself together. "You came..." Your hoarse voice echoed through the room, sniffles continued. "I wasn't sure if you would." A bitter smile pulled at your lips.

Heeseung didn't answer, jaw tensed as he shut the door behind him, eyes never leaving you. "You are high." He said, eyes sharp now. You looked down at you lap. "I just needed to feel... less."

"Less what?"

"Just— less."

He slowly made his way towards you, stopping right at the foot of you bed. "You are fucking dissappearing." Your dazed eyes followed him, full of tears that were ready to downpour. You sniffled, pulling your legs up to your chest and hugging them. "Why do you care? You left me." The words left your mouth in a whisper, strained almost inaudible. "I didn't leave!" He snapped. "You pushed me out! You kept lying. Hiding even. You broke my trust!" Tears suddenly started pouring out your eyes quietly, still listening to every word his angry voice spoke. "You became distant, even when I wanted to get close to you!—"

"You think I don’t know what’s happening?! You think I can’t see it too? You think I like being like this?!" You shouted through sobs, finally letting it out. Heeseung’s eyes softened, drinking in every word as his mind raced. "No, I don't th—"

"Then stop acting you you know fucking everything!" You were now gasping from how much tears you were sheding, it was exhausting. You snapped finally, frustration getting the best of you. Everything deteriorated, everything you built collapsed right before your eyes. You chest hurt, hands trembled as cold sweat coated your skin. Heeseung took a step back from the sudden outburst. The rawness of it making his own legs weak. The moment you heard him take steps back your head snapped towards him, eyes wide in fear. "Nonono—" You repeated shaking your head in denial, getting on your wobbly knees and hands. "Heeseung, please! I'll be good. I swear, please—" You crawled towards him, eyes looking up at him through your wet lashes, glowing under the moonlight.

You finally got to the end of the bed, grabbing his wrist before you pulled him back towards the bed, staring up at his upright and strong figure hovering over your crawling one. "Please. Don't go." You got on your knees, attaching yourself to him, hands grabbing at his waist and every inch of his upper body, histerically. Like you would lose him right now, right here.

Heeseung was at a loss for words, blankly staring at your face up close after so long. And you were so beautiful. With your puffy glossy eyes, plump lips swollen, cheeks red from all the stress. You still were so beautiful to him. He gulped, scanning your panicked face, hands still by his side, not daring to lay a hand on you. Not because he didn't want to, but because he was scared he would not be able to stop.

Suddenly your eyes met, your gaze instantly changing, like a switch. Your hands sensually slowed down, caressing his hoodie covered waist. Your breaths mingled, mixing as your eyes traveled down to his lips. Silence became tense, the only sound being your slow and deep breathing. Heeseung gulped and you felt it. That subtle shift in the air, the way his chest raised just a bit more forcefully, the way his fingers twitched at his sides. He was trying, really trying to hold the line. But you could feel him crack under the weight of your desperation.

Your hands moved slower, more intentionally now, sliding up the fabric of his hoodie, gently feeling his muscles contract under your cold touch. "You still want me..." You whispered, eyes hooded and red and voice broken, shaky. "Even now... don't you?" He didn't respond. But the silence was the response.

You leaned in closer, face tilted up, lips ghosting the underside of his jaw. "Say it." You pleaded, voice trembling like your body was. "Please. Just say it." Heeseung's eyes fluttered shut for a second, jaw clenched. He was breathing through his nose, trying to keep control. "Y/N stop—"

"You always love having me like this." The graze of your lips against to corner of his mouth was the last straw, his hands finally moved—grabbing your wrists, gently but firmly, pulling them away from his body. You looked up at him, panic flashing again, eyes wide. But before you could speak, he crashed his mouth to yours.

It wasn't a kiss. It was a collapse.

Your back met the mattress again, his body following, heavy and hot, mouth devouring yours like it's his last. Your legs instinctively wrapped around his waist as his hoodie rode up, fingers digging into the sheets, into his back, into anything you could hold yourself onto. His hands found your waist, your thighs, your face — gripping, stroking like he couldn't decide what to do first. The kiss was messy, uncoordinated, like both of you were leading your own way. Saliva mixing, tongues fighting to get the taste of each other's mouth, hungrily. He suddenly detached, earning a whine from you in response as he let his kisses down your jaw and right over your neck.

"I hate you for this." He mumbled into your neck, voice sharp, breathing erratic. "You drive me insane." You moaned in response, arching your back off the sheets and right into his body asking him to get back to work. "Hee, please..." He dived back in, kissing your neck, your clavicles, leaving open mouthed kisses with his hands traveling up your hoodie. Your skin was cold but sweaty, chest heavied up and down with each touch of his fingertips. He moved down, slowly descending onto his knees at the foot of the bed, meeting with the carpet as his lips grazed every inch of your stomach, hoodie pushed up by his big hands. You gasped for air, raising yourself by your elbows and watching him. His slouched figure grabbed at your thighs, hips, anything that was available. His nose nuzzled onto your waistband, underwear on full display before him.

He raised his eyes, making direct eye contact with you making you almost moan out loud. Heeseung had a sight to see, you meesed up, desperate for him, eyes now puppy like almost begging him to devour you. "Didn't eat this pussy in a while baby..." His fingers grazed your inner thighs, eyes moving down to scan the mess that was already accumulating. The wet patch stabbing his eyes, making him hiss at the slight movement of your hips against his gaze. "You want that, hm?" You hummed out desperately, nodding your head quickly, legs spreading further on their own.

Heeseung caressed it with the back of his fingers, feeling the wetnees over the drenched fabric. You relaxed into the touch, his knuckles hitting your covered clit in a stroking motion just right. It was gentle, teasing, and he enjoyed watching you fall apart just by his simple touch. You were sweating, the drugs still slowing you down, making the slight pleasure feel otherwordly. Heeseung hooked his fingers on your panties, pulling them away from your core before letting it slap back against it, the action making you slightly jolt. The wet sound that came of it making his mind spin. You were humming repeatedly in a haze, your eyes closed and head thrown back, hips chasing the stimulation under his eyes. "Fuck. Don't do that..." He grimaced, his sweats feeling tighter then ever. Just the simple squirm of your body was enough to make his tip leak precum in anticipation.

His hands grasped your hips, adjusting you as he lowered his head, now face to face with your soaked underwear. He blew at it experimentaly, to see if you would feel even the slightest of brush and you did. Your hips rolled in an attempt to meet whatever that was, not nothing. That's how sensitive you were. It was the last straw before he was tipped over the edge, impatience getting the best of him as he pulled the underwear off you, throwing it somewhere behind. Pushing your thighs spread open again with his palms pressing onto them, he left a harsh lick all the way from your hole to your clit. It made you scream in surprise, body aching and trembling the moment his tongue went flat over your bundle of nerves.

He was impatient. His mouth quickly attached to your clit, engulfing it with his soft wet mouth as he sucked. Your back met the mattress again, arms too weak to hold you up. You panted, head thrown back as he refused to let your bud go. It was becoming sensitive with each flick of his tongue as he harshly sucked, even moaning against your wetness. Heeseung was enjoying himself, head bobbing with each squirm of your hips against him. You tasted divine.

You were becoming a moaning mess, cold sweat covered every inch of your skin, the hoodie feeling suffocating on your torso more than ever. Lightheadedness was taking over. You were so sensitive. You can't take it. So you trashed around against his mouth, trying to run away from his savage lips, but it only made him groan, your moans became erratic, a small tight knot forming in the pit of your stomach.

It made him mad. You trying to run from him. His fingers digged harder into your inner thighs, keeping you in place. You hissed in pain from his strong hold, he was too aggressive, his mouth detaching from your clit to just let a filthy glob of spit onto it before diving back in. You sighed in slight relief but the overwhelming pleasure was back, this time his tongue skimmed over your holds, collecting all of your sticky arousal before it circled your hole. You raised your head and opened your heavy eyes, vision blurry from all the tears, cheeks flushed and red, neck heating in a uncomfortable fire. His eyes locked with yours. You moaned, mouth agape as you kept the eye contact. He smirked with his tongue traveling up to your bud and down to your hole again, teasingly poking at it, again and again.

"Tongue fuck me, yes..." You mumbled lowly through a breathy tremble more to yourself as you bit down on your lip and closed your eyes whilst throwing your head back. Hips meeting his shallow thrusts into your cunt. Heeseung almost came from the simple sight of you fucking yourself against his hot muscle. The next thing he did made you whine in need. He grabbed your knees, his hot hands against your sweaty skin made you shudder as he pushed them up and against your chest, your cunt on full display and at his mercy now. He dived right in, folding you in a uncomfortable position as his tongue thrusted into you, harder this time. You bit your bottom lip, pleasure eating you up as he didn't stop, not for a second. His hot muscle rubbed your entrance and walls in such a dirty way, hammering at a speed that had your head spin. You moaned and moaned, voice already hoarse.

"Heeseung fuck!" Your voice strained and breathy as it came out, the knot forming faster then ever, thighs shaking, ears canceling out everything as your body prepared for the climax. Heeseung could feel that you were close, your walls clenching and convulsing against his tongue, saliva dripped all onto your skin, trickling down your ass cheeks and onto the mattress together with your juices. He moaned, tongue already tired but he did not stop. His eyes closed tight in delight, waiting for your orgasm to wash over you.

One more thirst of his was enough for your body to shudder. The heat spread throughout you, blood pumping faster then ever. You moaned one last time, jaw tensing and thighs shaking. You came hard on his tongue as he fucked you through your orgasm, making sure to remember every sound and move your body let out at the moment, his smile never falling. You furiously tried to get your hips to grind against him, but it was no use, he held you down. "Yes fuck keep going— mhm..." Your pussy convulsed, after shocks still shaking you as he slowed down, finally letting your legs down and onto the bed. You were breathing hard, eyes still closed as your ears ringed. Heeseung let out a chuckle, wiping his mouth with the back of his hand, collecting the wetness that dripped down his jaw. He got onto the bed, knees dipping the mattress right at the sides of your worn out legs before he leaned over you, eyes scanning your panting and flushed face.

He moved a strand that sticked to your glossy lips, and he kissed you. Hard. His hands cupped your face, holding you in place. You could taste yourself on his lips, salty and tangy. It made you whine leading to him moaning in response. You grabbed his wrists, gently but firmly, pulling them away from your face and getting your hoodie finally off. Your breasts raising and falling with each breath in and out, making him lick his lips at the sight. You pressed a peck to his lips before you slowly slipped your body down, eyes boring into his glimmering with mischief. He furrowed his brows, watching your figure slide beneath his slowly, sheets wrinkling with your back dragging against them. "Y/N what—"

You were already beneath him, face to face with his bulge, cupping it as you looked over your head, lip stuck between your teeth, hand squizzing him. Heeseung’s breath got stuck in his throat whilst he stared at your figure under him who was still on his fours, gawking at your head that was now caged with his thighs . The eye contact made him smile slyly down at you, getting the idea you had. Before he could react your hands already pulled down the front of his sweatpants together with his boxers, revealing his raging cock. It almost hit you in the face, tip bulbous and red, leaking precum. Your mouth watered at the sight, and before Heeseung could say anything your tongue slid over the pulsing vein right on the underside of it.

Heeseung's mouth opened, eyes went closed shut, palms fisting the sheets painfully hard. You smirked at his reaction, getting one of your hands around his base and taking the tip into your mouth. Your tongue went over the slit, fluttering around the pulsing head as the hand stroked it. Heeseung let out a shaky breath, adrenaline making his ears hotter than ever, throat dry and hoarse. The moment your hand squeezed his lenght, he got himself upright, knees dipping deeper next to your head as a moan ruptured from his parted lips. You suckeled on the tip, teasing the hell out of him, the hand stopped with the strokes, instead both arms went around his thighs, keeping him close and anchored. His muscles flexed, contracting with each slight move of your tongue over his slit.

His hands went up to his hoodie zipper, finally releasing himself of unnecessary clothes before he threw it on the floor. Your eyes went over his revealed torso, eyes rolling back in distinguished pleasure at the picture before you. His lean body glistened with sweat under the moonlight, abs contracting on their own in tandem with your mouth against him. His chest seemed flushed, shallow breaths left his lungs in a reckless rhythm. Heeseung looked down, his fingers combing through your hair, getting a gentle grip onto it. "So good... so good for me, yeah—" He kept your head in place, giving your mouth a slow and tender thrust, not all the way in yet. You hummed in response, the vibrations sending his mouth agape, eyes narrowed and focused on the way your lips wrapped around him.

"Letting me use your mouth just how I like—"

Another whiny hum.

"Ah— look at you... So desperate that you didn't even wait for me to ask." His grip tightened around your hair, just slightly, enough to make your eyes look up at him. Tears clung to your lashed from the sheer intensity, saliva messily clinging to your chin. Heeseung's thrust gradually became deeper, his pants and whimpers coming out melodically. "You missed this cock... didn't you?—" Your mouth succumbed to him, giving him the full control, letting him thrust steadily as much as he wanted.

"Admit it."

With those words he pushed himself fully in, making you gag before retracting till he pulled out and let his tip rest on your swollen and glistening lips. You did not break eye contact, letting your tongue out and kitty licking the flushed head with the slight nod of a guilty admition. You did miss him fucking you. More than anything. Heeseung could barely breath. "You are so goddamn filthy." He stuttered out.

You teasingly opened your mouth letting it hover over his raging hard on before nodding slowly, eyes looking up at his with a glint of playfulness. "Only for you." And he was in your mouth again. Heeseung started thrusting right away, groans and whines escaping his lips. The whole time your wetness was pooling more and more between your clenched thighs. Every sound, every tremor of his body sent a wave of arousal through you. You clenched your thighs, rubbing them together in a attempt too relieve the swelling that was starting to ache.

The sliding of his cock against your soft flesh felt all too ecstatic. Saliva was dripping from the corners of your mouth, allowing him to glide with ease. His body was unraveling. His thighs were trembling now, muscles twitching from the overload. His chest rose and fell like he’d just run miles, eyes still locked on where you two connected. "You are gonna make me cum so hard…" He growled, voice hoarse, breathless. "You love doing this, don’t you? Love wrecking me."

Another groan ripped from his throat, and this time, it was broken—shameless. His hands slipped behind your head, gently, and he hissed through his teeth as he tried to hold back. You fisted the material on his hips, bracing yourself for his release. "T-take it—take all of it. Just like that—fuck, yes."

And when it finally hit him, it was devastating. His hips bucked, His hand tightened in your hair but not enough to hurt, just to ground himself in you—because he was gone. Utterly gone. Voice lost in the moan that ripped from deep in his chest.

And you didn’t move away once.

Didn’t even flinch. You kept him in your mouth, cum filling your warm cavity, some even collecting at the corners of your tight wrapped lips. You moaned in delight, tasting it against your taste buds after so long. He bucked his hips one more time into you, making sure to fuck it down your throat, and you let him before he pulled out. Cock all sore, still pulsing and limply standing before your face. His hair stuck to his forehead, chest still gasping for air as he racked a hand through his dark locks, tossing it back. You did not swallow, instead kept it in your mouth as you wiggled out from beneath him, getting on your two feet before making your way again on the bed, your knees shifting the mattress and grabbing his attention as you got in front of him. He looked down at you, raising a brow just as you grabbed his face and kissed him. Heeseung’s hands instinctively found your naked waist, pulling you closer and flush against him, your bare skins rubbing and sliding.

It was messy, raw.

His tongue tasted himself on you like he needed it—like it was the only thing that could bring him down. Cum dripped down between your bodies, messily sticking to your hot and sweaty skin. Your palms glided down his neck and right over his bulging biceps' giving them a squeeze as you caressed them, making goosebumps arise on his wet skin. "You are unreal." He groaned against your mouth, teeth grazing your bottom lip. "So fucking nasty—" His tongue licked at the white fluid dripping down your chin. "My nasty girl."

You giggled, breath hitching as his hands groped at your ass, until you were flush against his again hard cock that stood proud onto his abdomen. The way you grinded your body against it made him bite back a deep groan. You left a light kiss on his nose, the action so pure in the midst of a filthy moment. You moved his arms away from you, letting them drop down to his sides as you sat down on the bed, bottom lip caught between your teeth as you retreated all the way against the headboard. Heeseung just observed, your legs, your hips, thighs, waist, breasts — it made blood rush to his already throbbing dick. Waistbands uncomfortably hugging his scrotum, only adding more pressure when it shouldn't.

Your legs already spread, your cunt glistened with slick, the sticky substance covered your inner thighs. Fuck. Heeseung just stood there, still on his knees making sure every move you make is payed attention to till the maximum. You giggled, watching his focused face not take his eyes off of your throbing pussy. You were still glowing from the high of what just happened, skin dewy and flushed, legs spread slightly as you laid back into the pillows. But it wasn't enough. You weren't done.

You let your fingers trail lazily down your chest, between your breasts, your stomach flexing under your touch.

Heeseung didn't speak. His eyes said everything. They darkened the second your hand dipped lower. You felt your own slick, the heat of your body burning into your fingertips as you began to stroke yourself slow and deliberate—like you knew he was watching. Like you needed him to. You just locked eyes with him, fingers moving. A soft gasp left your lips, and Heeseung's expression darkened instantly.

His eyes dropped again.

Watched.

He didn’t say a word. Didn’t move.

You moaned softly, head tipping back, body arching ever so slightly, just for him. You breathed, voice like silk. You moved slow—teasing both of you. Circling, pressing, gasping. All while he watched, unmoving, fists clenched at his sides, chest rising in sharp, ragged breaths. You knew it was driving him mad—the fact that you didn't need him in that moment… but still wanted him to see it. To feel it with you.

"You like this?" you asked, lips curling. "You like seeing how wet I still am for you?" Heeseung growled, low and guttural. "You have no fucking idea." You moaned softly, fingers working against your swollen bud, gradually speeding up as you rolled your hips into your hand, lashes fluttering. He watched your thighs tremble, the way your stomach tensed with each circle of your fingers, the way your breath caught in your throat when you rubbed it in a unexpected good angle. He was painfully hard again. You could see it too, on full display against his lower stomach. His eyes never left your body.

"You are so wet." He muttered lowly, almost in amusement. "Dripping all over that pretty hand. Is that all for me?" Your back arched in response, legs spreading as far as you can, breath catching. "Always for you." You gasped. Heeseung leaned forward, finally breaking. "Let me help." It came out almost as a beg in a whisper as he crawled towards you. But just before he could touch you, your fingers moved faster and slid over your slippery clit, lewd noises filling the quiet air together with your raged breaths—head tilting back, thighs clenching. His name was escaping your parted lips, like a mantra. It was right about to wash over you, one more flick and you would have fallen apart but Heeseung couldn't just watch anymore.

He grabbed your thighs with his arms from underneath and harshly pulled you towards him, your back now flat against the bed as his upright figure stood over you on his knees. Your hand instinctively stopped the movement, instead you gasped in surprise, legs already hooked onto his hips, the back of your thighs pressed against the firm muscle of his, flexing beneath the fabric of his sweats.

Your chest rose with every breath, your heart racing in tandem with his.

Heeseung stared down at you like he was drinking you in—every curve, every flicker of expression in your face. His eyes were dark, unreadable, but you could feel what they meant. That he wanted you. Right now. His hand grabbed the pulsing cock, dragging it between your folds collecting your arousal before he tapped it on your already worn out bundle of nerves. The taps against it sent shocks through you, moans escaping your lips with head tilted back and eyes closed shut. "F-fuck..." Your strained voice echoed, almost sounding a little too painful and aching. It was a groan of desperation. Heeseung stroked himself, tip attached to your clit, his eyes scanning your folds and the way your hole was clenching, asking to be filled.

And he did just that.

He repositioned his knees, pulling them slightly away from you to get the better angle, one of his arms holding himself up next to your shoulders as he leaned over you, still pretty faraway but closer then ever at the same time. His hand led his tip down to your hole, the tip poking against the entrance in shallow teasing thrusts . He bit his lip, looking down at your fucked out expression—lips swollen, eyes half closed, cheeks flushed and hair tousled. Your hips helplessly bucked into his, almost begging him to ruin you. And before you could say anything he slammed into you. Hard. You screamed, not from pain but from pleasure—finally being filled up. He slid in with such ease, every next thrust going in easier then the last. You were getting wetter.

"Ah— shit..." He muttered under his breath, the other hand now next to your waist as he moved steadily. "Didn’t feel this pussy for so long —ah... Fuck!" He was losing it. The way you wrapped around him, hugging his lenght with your gummy walls, the sounds that came from where you two connected, and every whimper you tried to conceal every time his pelvis came in contact with your clit sent him into a frenzy, his thrusts becoming faster. "Heeseung! God— yesyesyes!" You chanted over and over again, getting your eyes down to where you two connected, his hips slamming against your skin, a sound that repeated unstoppably. You did not miss the chance to gawk on his torso—muscles moving and contracting with each movement. He looked like a fucking pornstar.

Your hand went over his forearms, grabbing at them for the support. You were a mess. He continued to ram into you, chasing his own climax—eyes closed, mouth agape. His biceps' and forearms were starting to cramp from holding his whole weight up but he didn't care. Pants filled up the room, moans, whines, groans. It was too good. Your head throbbed, neck burned and felt like it was on fire. You were close. "Heeseung I'm gonna cum! Gonna cum!" He felt you clench and he was losing it. "Yeah? Make a fucking mess baby..." Your back arched, mouth open with endless moans spilling from it, the orgasm shook you to the core with your hips bucking up to meet his, and the moment one of his hands came down to rub your clit it drove you insane. The pleasure prolonged with your thighs shaking and ears ringing, hands clawing at his forearms as if your life depended on it.

"Shit...you are gonna make me lose it!" He gasped out, almost drooling at the feeling.

You trembled, after shock sending your muscles twitching. But his thrusts didn't stop yet, he was still chasing his own release. The overstimulation made you hiss, your body relaxing in an attempt to hold on. But it was too much. "Too much Hee..." It did not reach his ears at all. His thrusts stuttered, but still went hard and deep. Whines were escaping his lips uncontrollably before he let himself fall over your trembling body. His weight trapping you down with his head nuzzling into your neck as he fisted the sheets next to your head. "Please, baby, please!—" His begs sent another spark on in you, making you moan in response. His breathing fanned your neck in rapid brushes, making you shiver. "I'm cumming! I'm cumming!" His thighs convulsed, a groan escaped his throat as his tip painted your walls white. His hips sloppily fucked the releasing cum into your cervix, making you moan through hard breaths, nails digging into his sweaty back.

He groaned with one last snap of his hips, his cum spilling from your tight hole as he lazily pulled out. Head still in a daze as he threw himself on his back right next to you. Pants filles the room , the silence that took over was loud enough. Both of you stared at the ceiling, up in your thoughts.

Your limbs felt numb, you were sore.

Heeseung felt conflicted and asked himself if he really knew what he got himself into.

The drugs in your system were at the brink of wearing off. And it hurt to admit. It really did.

But you felt it.

The warmth that wrapped around your body like a second skin began to fray at the edges. That false sense of ease, of pleasure, of forgetting—started to peel back. The shadows in the corners of your vision that had looked soft and slow now loomed sharper. The air felt colder, like it had shifted while you weren’t looking.

It was a circle you will be back running in even after all of this.

You knew it.

You felt it.

And stil you rolled over to your side, snuggling into Heeseung deciding that, maybe, just maybe you could ignore it and enjoy a moment for once in pure rawness. No drugs, no nothing. Just you two and the feelings. Like before.

But was it all that easy?

• • • • • •

! this is all work of fiction. in no way this is a representation of enhypen members nor do I believe this is how they behave in real life or condone these actions!

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