#hed never be the main character because he is just so bad and evil that he deserves a gruesome death

[andyxcds]

evan rosier dying is so comical to me. geez buddy you got the death you deserve but everyone says ur so different and deserving of love because you're just misunderstood.

off with his head.

[the-s1lly-corner]

I want to request like. A cuddling session with Slenderman, who is having a bad day and we comfort him

(つ≧▽≦)つ

I'm addicted to the idea of him pretending to be okay with people calling him monster, but deep down he has this longing for it to stop, since he wanted to get along with the proxies and others he deemed second family.

So he like, rant about his day while reader comfort him.

Maybe get him a little fluster aswell （〜^∇^ )〜

(Take your time and have a good day/night)

All Entwined in One Web

obligatory im stuck in the 2015 era of the creepypasta fandom and ive been mulling over this sort of approach in my head for the past month because i revisited an old slenderman x oc fanfic that had a death grip on me and shaped the way i will interact with + and consume creepypasta stuff for the sake of saving grace and not revealing HOW cringe i was im not going to drop the fanfic name (unless yall dm me because!! i still wanna support the author even if it seems theyre inactive now!) i blame this author for making me a demon sympathizer/j/lh written kinda different than my basic bullet list of hcs! got silly with this one, sorry if its jarring compared to my usual stuff </3 this post is mostly just my hc on like. slender (and by extension all demon characters) being neutral and a simple part of nature that stems from zalgo (yay im finally dropping zalgo lore for my au since he functions differently in my au/hc!!) so take this with a HUGE grain of salt since i feel this deters from the main take people use (that ive seen, at least) this one ended up being more.. sad than i first intended and imma be honest i kinda got into my feelings when i was writing this anywaus i hope this isnt too cringe since i dont talk much about my HUGEhcs/au stuff/rewritten stuff so!! plus i dont usually write BIG detailed stuff like this sobsob tldr; slenderman isnt good or evil hes just a neutral piece of nature in the world and hes trying to cope with it. the demon gods really fucked up by making him sentient and able to process human like emotions

death is a force of nature and people curse it for simply being a part of life; people curse wild animals for being, and people will curse the weather

in this universe, or timeline, demons exist in a similar manner. slenderman exists simply because hes a part of that huge web of nature. of course, that includes every single ugly instinct that humans hate so so much. and he can understand why, even if its his nature.

the one responsible for that web, is zalgo. the beginning and end of everything. neither alive nor dead, all demons stem from zalgo in one way or another.

a solitary creature that prefers to stay alone in the comfort of its home, it doesnt tend to reach out to harm others unless theres harm. only really attacking people that threaten to expose it or get too close...

except, you... you were the one exception. regardless of how you managed to worm yourself into his heart, and become his lifelong companion, hes grateful for your presence when things begin to build up.

he knows that in the eyes of others, he ugly and vile, but he knows that ultimately thats what protects him. he insists that its better this way, sticking to the forest away from the prying eyes.

SURE, he could follow in his brothers footsteps and make a false human body and try to blend in with the people. but is that really efficient? is that really something he wants? hes a powerful being but that would eventually take its toll on him..

ultimately he resigns himself into your arms; once oozing powerful and command, now crumpled and curled.

he never had a childhood, when zalgo created him, he simply.

was

no adolescence, no developing, no growing. he was always what he was meant to be, but he likes to think that when youre holding him, that this is what it feels like to be so small and vulnerable.

humans had it so easy, hed think. theyre born and they die and the process repeats itself for everyone. they dont have to be feared or hated, or kill to survive.

yes, to him, being mortal was far more preferable to being condemned to being a lonely hermit who corrupts and breaks everything it touches.

even with your comfort, theres only so much that you can do; youll eventually pass on as well and hell be stuck in his cycle once more

but for now, as you hum softly and whisper nothings to him as you let him crumble; hell let himself weep just this once.

because as much as he envies your life, and what humans have, he cant deny that he cant bring himself to truly hate them, because like him, theyre simply a piece of natures web.

[snazzyscarf]

so i saw your post regarding ruby rose dismenbering a man and i need to ask... are you talking about Tyrian? the Serial-killer who's working with the evil witch who's trying to destroy the world? the guy who had only a few minutes before announced that he wanted to kidnap her and tried to kill her friends? And who had just poisoned her uncle with his tail, and thats why hed had cut his tail of? Like in kind of confused about your point because you made it sound like Tyrian was just some random dude she attacked for no reason and i want to engage in good faith here

You said you wanted to engage in good faith so I'm taking that at face value and using this to elaborate my point:

So I made that original post at around 3am when I was fed up enough with the show's ableism to share my own opinions on the part of the series that bothered me the most. So forgive me if the wording wasn't the most clear.

I am not here to argue on the morality of the characters. Tyrian is a bad guy; he's obviously evil and never in my post did I state otherwise. I figured we all knew that was a given, but I've quickly learned that unless something is clearly stated in bold letters, people will just make their own assumptions. This is my first time engaging with the rwby fandom so that's my bad. Ruby's actions in the situation were fine. It was self defense and perfectly understandable, I have no issue with that. My issue lies with the placement of her actions within the show and how the writers decided to treat them.

The scene where Tyrian gets his tail cut off happens in volume four. At this point in time, the main characters are split up because of the aftermath of the fall of beacon. One of the major parts of this aftermath is Yang getting her arm cut off. In the first half of the volume they spend a lot of time establishing how traumatic this was for her, and how she's coping with it. She struggles in coming to terms with how this change will affect the rest of her life. How well RT depicted this struggle is a topic for another day, but they tried. They established the idea that amputation is a serious thing that has lasting consequences and should be treated as such.

And then they go and cut Tyrian's tail off.

Here's where my issues come in: up until this point the show had conveyed the aforementioned tone toward disability. And that on its own was well and good. Then they introduce Tyrian, a character which you're not really supposed to like. He's violent, out for blood, and has a clear mission of harm. They then reveal that he's a faunus with a scorpion tail, and we're introduced to a new and dangerous fighting style. One episode later, and that faunus trait is severed from him. Afterwards? Not another mention of it, aside from Tyrian quietly getting a new prosthetic made in the background.

The main problem lies in the presentation of Yang's and Tyrian's events. We all remember how Yang lost her arm. This dramatic, cinematic shot that slows down time and replaces blood with glittering yellow lights. It's obviously a big deal. Then we have Tyrian losing his stinger: a harsh and violent shot, that makes sure to linger on how he writhes in pain before calling Ruby a bitch. It's very clear which one of these presentations gets the favoritism here. One is prettied up and artsy, and the other is cruel and unforgiving.

Viewing these two framings of limb loss in juxtaposition--especially considering their close proximity time wise--sends a very clear message. Only the good guys get their disabilities treated with dignity. "If you're one of the protagonists, of course you deserve to have your disability respected! But if you're an antagonist, we have free reign to be as insensitive with the topic as we want, because, well, it doesn't matter when it comes to you does it? We get to pick and choose when we want to handle serious topics with tact."

My issue was never with Ruby as a character defending herself. It was with the writer's respectful establishment of Yang's character arc regarding disability, and how immediately throwing that respect out of the window with Tyrian felt like a slap in the face.

[latulasbian-1]

A Kankriversation Had On Discord

Long post beneath the cut bc its just. straight up like a half hour’s worth of back-and-fourth 

Friend: OH GOD OH GOD REV GOT TO MEENAHQUEST Friend: OH GOD HES MET KANKRI I GOTTA Friend: I GOTTA SEE Friend: "why the fuck is he written like this?" Friend: "i feel like this entire section is a jab at tumblr" Friend: rev does not seem to enjoy this Friend: "what i was expecting was just a raging asshole, like karkat 2 yaknow?" Friend: REV DOES NOT HATE KANKRI *confetti ball emojis*

Friend: people are taking away from kankri's character "kankri acts like a good person but is an asshole, and karkat acts like an asshole but is a good person" and they are wrong. Friend: I Friend: REV JUST COMPARED HIM TO ZEBRUH Friend: I AM Friend: -dies- Friend: HOW Friend: I UNDERSTAND COMPLETELY BUT ALSO HOLY SHIT Friend: ok i cant watch longer i am dying Friend: it doesnt help that hes reading this section with a homestuch fan who seemingly hates kankri

Friend: i just need to give up and accept the fact that everyone hates kankri Friend: and i am the only smart person in the whole world :cry emoji (zan’s note: to indicated both light emotional melancholy but primarily as a tone indicator of semi-sarcasm): Friend: erugvwilarghvaleb Friend: no wonder i like zebruh (ZAN’S NOTE: MY BUDDY HERE LIKES ZEBRUH AS A FUNNY ASSHOLE DOUCHEBAG WHO SUCKS NOT LIKE. IN A WAY THAT CONDONES HIS BULLSHIT JUST FELT LIKE I SHOULD MENTION THAT. UNLIKE FOR INSTANCE LANQUE, WHO DOESN’T NECESSARILY FEEL LIKE HES MEANT TO BE THE WORST LIVING BEING IN EXISTANCE AND IS ALSO TRANSMASC WHILE BEING A FUCKING SEX FREAK. ZEBRUH’S MEANT TO BE HATED SO ITS AT LEAST FUCKING FUNNY.)

Friend 2 (hasn't actually read homestuck): I like Kankri

Friend: me :handshake: you & the 3 other people who read this channel smart as fuck and our meat is huge wrfralrv,juaBVRE DGS

Me (Zan): hhhhhhhhhhh Me: WHY DO PEOPLE CONSTANTLY INTERPRET KANKRI LIKE THIS Me: ITS. FUCKING. NONSENSE

Friend: I think people assume hes supposed to be like?? lying??? or using big words to try and make people like him more/?? Friend: but thats. never actually in the text? Friend: like yeah he constantly says "in this essay-i mean conversation" or "during this lecture-i mean discussion" but???? Friend: that does not a liar make??????????????

Me: its literally just. gahhhh Me: noone fucking r Me: theres no REASON to think hes lying

Me: except. that sjws are all just bigots who lie to make themselves look better (Zan’s note: this is sarcasm meant as a dig at people falling for the stonetoss-tier anti-social justice strawmanning that kankri gets. I do not think sjws are all just bigots who lie to make themselves look better.)

Friend: people just really dont wanna be confronted with the fact that if u think racism bad andrew hussie thinks youre a pussy ass bitch everyone hates

Me: YEAH Me: WHICH??? Me: THESE PEOPLE, LIKE EVERYONE, KNOWS THAT HUSSIE SUCKS AND HATES HIM

Friend: so they pretend kankri is actually some really genuinely good criticism guys i swear he-hes not just a mean caricture of a tumblr user who writes essays on why racism is bad i swear he-hes like, a criticism of men who co-opt actual arguments to get people to wanna fuck him ignore the part where kankri is celibate guys i swear hes a horny racist douche please believe me guys andrew hussie wouldnt hate me in real life hed love me i swear

Me: BUT THEY JUST FUCKING. REFUSE TO REALIZE THAT TINY PIECE OF LOGIC THAT “OH ALMOST EVERYRHING THAT KANKRI SAYS IS RIGHT AND HUSSIE IS A DOUCHECANOE”

Me: YEAH ITS SO FUCKING WIERD

Friend: i feel like another part of it is kankri criticcizing mituna

Me: WHICH

Friend: like "oh haha kankri is abelist u see thats PROOF thats PROOF hes a racist abelist douch just lying for attention you SEE" a

Me: IN UNIVERSE Me: IS BAD

Friend: and mituna is like

Me: BUT Me: ITS MADE FUVKING MOOT

Friend: mituna.

Me: BC MITUNA LITERALLY IS AN ABLEIST STEREOTYPE Me: HUSSIE LITERALLY WROTE AN ABLEIST STEREOTYPE AND EVERYONE TRIES TO SAY THE ONE CHARACTER WHO RECOGNIZES THAT TO BE THE REAL ABLEIST I

Friend: mituna "autistic/brain damaged/tourettes stereotype who's main joke is he falls down a lot and is mentally ill ahaha"

Me: *just an ocean of angry emojis*

Friend: is it because hes nice to cronus??? like?????? Friend: in that case everyone should HATE meenah Friend: for.... ALSO BEING NICE TO CRONUS??????????/ Friend: LIKE????????????

Me: oho but you see Me: meenah is un-pc murderous genocidal and a childfucker, so she only gets a little bit of the hate kankri “said ableism is ableist and never stops trying to get his friends to be better people despite everything” vantas gets

Friend: GRAAAAAA Friend: WHY ARE HOMESTUCK FANS SO FUCKING STUPID

Me: in this instance i have 0 fucking clue Me: like. its fucking OBVIOUS

Friend 3 (hasn’t read homestuck): It's the ableism

Me: except.... most of these people dont even like mituna........ Me: like as “rep”.... Me: these are people who’d call out ableism literally everywhere else.... its. gahh Me: i stg i’m going to become a video essayist just to try to EXPLAIN this shit

Friend: IM SORRY TO SAY THIS HOMESTUCK FANDOM, BUT MOST OF THE PEOPLE ON TUMBLR WHO WERE WRITTING ESSAYS ON WHY ABELISM AND RACISM IN MEDIA WAS BAD Friend: WERE RIGHT Friend: AND IF YOU DIDNT LIKE THEM FOR THEIR BIG WORDS Friend: YOU SUCKED Friend: zebruh is like a fucked up and evil version of kankri where instead of caring about politics and people's mental health he just acts like he cares about lower caste trolls to try and get laid, and in actually his is a racist mean and clingy rich bastard who cant stand being held accountable for his fake beliefs Friend: OH WAIT Friend: THATS JUST FUCKING CRONUS Friend: this is all your fault u bastard. i dont know how the fuck you got away with this shit i hate you so much  

Me: fdg;hljk Me: ben i'm wondering if i can transcribe our duotribe to tumblr

[leafy-wings]

Hey. Wanna talk about your ocs?

yes  🥺

i always want to talk abt my ocs so if you see anyone specific and want me to talk about them more. i am always here

ive conveniently marked which characters are for roleplays because i have my fingers in so many pies. some of these were used for multiple rps like aglais and petrichor. heres short summaries of all of them under the cut bc its long

- AGLAIS is being used for that skywing roleplay im never in Oops! I got lost. but i love algais a lot! theyre a silk/skywing who was raised underground with out wind so their wings are all fucked up! they have light flamesilk, and are obsessed with resolving conflict and making sure everyones happy. a sunny type character yknow.

- BRISK was a character for sundown-falls on dA, idk if its active or not! im not there at least, ever. ive never used her!! idk her personality really, i liked imagining her as manic and cheerful

- BUCKTHORN and skipping a few characters HAWTHORN [and seer/sear] were for an arc 3 rewrite i had planned but probably scrapped because uhh things hard. its an au where clearsight has more leafwing partners than silkwing so there are thornwings instead of hivewings. itd be focusing more on the societal implications of a silkwing oppressive society, ft the headcanon that the hivewing mind control was a nightwing power. hawthorn has it too, previously shes very faithful to her society up until shes almost murdered for trying to investigate a case of silkwing puppetry and assassination. ah!! it follows her adventures within the underbelly of pantala, and then the second book wouldve been about buckthorn, who was always anxious, because he has a lil bit of mindreading, and he has firey palms. he goes to pyrrhia to try and ask for help, and turns into a suicide bomber. its very half baked i just wanted to make dragons

- REDACTED for DRIFT SPOILERS

- HARLEQUIN is just jewels dad. hes fucked up bro!!

- HARUSPEX was for moonborn!! i never really got into him, i love his concept, but i dont like rp where characters know each other before starting. the conceit of moonborn is three of a handful of dragons were going to fly up to the moons and no one knows what happens to them then, so hes terrified of socializing or getting close to anyone because of that. hes like.. protective and helpful but isolated. quiet.

- JEWEL!!!! might be my favorite character!!!!!!! like sometimes i forget about him or languish about writing him so so bad but seriously im so nostalgic for him and love him so much. he was for the destined, his father harlequin was a doomsday prepper [yknow like, bunkers ‘ the worlds ending soon’] before the burning and is vindicated when the world does start ending, lol. hed been training jewel to take up the mantle as fucking insane doomsday person, i really wanted to get him more of a hypochondriac and survivalist but more often than not he just was timid and friendly.. at the start of the rp!! he made good friends with wisteria and hexapod :) and then people started fighting 24/7 and fucking dying and so jewel becomes a cannibal because hes terrified of being weak and dying, he wants to prove himself worthy of being there + a sprinkling of harlequins “eat people to absorb their powers/cannibalism isnt bad” mentality. jewels kind of unhinged for the rest of the rp but still holds his friendship with wisteria and hexapod close <3 i dont think he ever did anything important or useful. but he was there!

- ORIUS was for PPAU on dA, im not active on it anymore lol! orius is FUCKING BUFF AS HELL!! shes just a huge lady and her shtick is that she is dumb as rocks and suffocatingly selfless, she loves doing work for other dragons. her parents were neglectful so she just goes into towns and does busywork for random dragons, getting super buff because she has nothing better to do and she hopes it makes people treat her better, she just loves helping others because its.. all she knows how to do to get any affection. she busts a drug smuggling ring and gets enrolled into a big cool school :]

- PETRICHOR was for dawning rain and i am hoping to reuse him for animus academy!! theyre a dramatic actor rainwing, i remember when i submitted them i added aside from their app that says theyre naive and stupid that they are literally just lying and actually pretty smart and malicious. theyre like acting childish and silly and daft as a way to get what they want and a smoke screen to commit crimes. in dawning rain they got kidnapped for 4 days and no one noticed and they were bitter about it for fucking ever. they made gay with a nightwing, tranquility, but the writer had their stuff taken away :[ petriquil 4life.

- POISON IVY was for PPAU also! they have evil fucked up leafspeak that kills plants, and theyre a paid assassin. they used to steal to survive and kill people he had beef with so he was like wait a minute. i can do both. so he affiliates with good dragons to kill bad dragons while pursuing his hobby in baking :) hes very aloof, a lil flirty, just friendly and casual.

- lets just toss puddle, nimbus, crow, and caiman into one category; this was for my roleplay, the royal division! the conceit being that the skywing and mudwings had affiliated with the other tribes [aka; took them over with force] so now the tribe is split in two, except for a collection of dragons specially chosen by a nightwing prophet. all she knows is that youve got to deal with it, and deal with it they do! ill not give details about the twist; it might just be reused for something special coming up soon... oh yeah, rouge was there too! but rouge isnt a trd character;

- ROUGE is one of my oldest characters, for my FIRST wof roleplay, refuge and rogues, run in 2018!! rouge is a skywing animus, abandoned to KISMET and WEED [kismet is my oldest wof oc! her first name was chameleon because it was before i read escaping peril], kismet and weed are part of a problem solving group called refuge where they go around the continent fixing things for dragons. or taking in eggs if you dont want them, i guess. rouge is a BAD BOY!!! hes like a rebellious teen so he splits off and makes his own version of refuge but its EVIL and for BAD BOYS LIKE HIM!! well, theyre not evil- they still help people, but CHAOTICALLY! like with CRIME! if someone took something of yours refuge would barter with them to get it back; rogues would just steal it.

- WEISS and SUPERNOVA were for the PLANNED but currently UNPLANNED sequel to the royal division, titled the rising occult! WEISS is actually not a wof oc- hes a different version of one of my mains, still named weiss! with the last word in the title you could just guess what its about. but, hey, dawning rain crowd, i had the rising occult planned in 2019 so IM the first wof cult person, HA!

- WHIRLWIND was for THE LEGENDS, i never participated just because i felt like i did not belong. but whirlwind was going to be a petrichor type character, but genuinely incompetent. theyre a rainwing who pretends to be other tribes to get things, mostly love. very silly and stupid! they have rot in their brain.

UNLISTED: is CADDIS for shattered seas, who was a cowboy pirate!!!!!!!!!!!!!! seawing/rainwing, when he was young he hung out with the wrong crowd and owed a debt with his dearest friend- the fucking weirdos who he owned the debt to had them pay in BLOOD! one of them had to die. caddis’ friend wouldnt kill him, no, but they snapped his horns off and took his eye off and pretended that caddis had died. so caddis spends his days HUNTING HIS FRIEND DOWN! and refusing to let anyone else get so close to him. i never got to unveil that in rp, instead caddis appeared, had sex, and then presumably died as the rp ended

and extras;

these are characters for my old rp, the animus code, which is currently on hiatus! they and a lot of the setting and lore will be lifted and reused for animus academy!

[elejahfanfic]

The Vampire Files/7

Fanfiction

Part 7

AU story with tvd/to characters, but also with many others from different fandoms like Nick Amaro _Law&Order svu, that I am borrowing here. And Joel Goran from Saving Hope etc.

Main pairing_ Nick Amaro and Elena Gilbert

Nick and Elena are FBI Agents investigating supernatural activities and homocide caused vampires and demons.

Expect witches, demons, vampires. Inspired by X-files, Twin Peaks, and many other shows

✽-( ˘▽˘ *:)/✽

tag_ @miguelsbrat​

* thanks for reading, xoxo ✺◟(*❛‿❛)◞✺

Back in the city, Elena took her phone and dialed Jenna.

"How is New Orleans?" Jenna said as she picked up the call.

"Bustling. What is the connection of a Bloodborn with the Harvest?" Elena asked without any innuendos.

"I can hear you are in a bar?! Why are you not having a normal drink? Talking of Bloodborn means you ditched Nick or he found something better to do?!"

"Jenna!!" Elena raised her voice, which meant I need answers now.

"I need to look. Get back to you in five" Jenna said and hung up.

She then dialled another number, a person she swore she would never call as long as she lived, but she was desperate.

"Hello Agent" a female voice said picking up.

"Tess." Elena uttered as a hello. The witch knew Elena needed something major if she had given her a call.

"Tell me all about the blood of a Bloodborne" Elena then asked.

The witch was quiet for a second, which meant something terrible was about to come out. Tessa then continued-

"To get the Spirit of the Ancient One! There are no Bloodborns- or?"

"Thank you" Elena said hanging up. “Damn!” Suddenly, all was clear. Davina Claire's death had nothing to do with any of the other cases. She now ran back to the hotel to fetch the SUV and get to the Bayou. Her phone rang. And the display showed Jenna and an unknown number simultaneously.

She answered the other number,"Agent Gilbert? This is Agent Stavros"

“What's up?"

"A cousin of Davina Claire's has come forward  with some new info"

"Listening" Elena said as she now got into the SUV and started the car.

Flashback Twin Peaks

A week after Elena and Dale Cooper had arrived. He had disappeared in the woods.

"He entered the Black Lodge again,” Elena said to Sheriff Harry,"and you cannot follow me in there"

"Tell me what I can do?"

"Nothing. Just wait for us here. I will do my best to get him back. And- this is really very important- whatever you hear and see- STAY WHERE YOU ARE. The evil in there will completely consume you."

Hawk Hill, once the deputy of the Twin Peaks sheriff's department now approached them.

"Angel Heart" the former Deputy said to Elena, who was startled a bit as he called her that and looked at the man slightly wide-eyed waiting to hear why he had come, handing her a bracelet,"this is for you"

Elena took it. And then walked through the trees and she vanished like she had entered some other alternative universe.

Agent Stavros now met Elena in the Bayou at the Pearl Cottage.

Agnes, the voodoo priestes and Jane-Anne now approached the two Agents.

"Why did you wait?," Dean blasted at Agnes,"you knew, didn't you?"

From the Agent’s behaviour, Elena quickly put together that Dean not only knew the woman, but he was close to Davina.

Agnes to explain that the evil spirits didn't allow her to act, and that she tried to save Davina from them. Dean stepped forward got hold of the woman by the neck shouting that she was not telling the truth. Elena jumped and pulled him away from the woman, telling him to calm down and get a  grip.

"This is not helping!"she gritted with her teeth staring into his eyes still holding him tight. He clenched his teeth and tried to collect himself. She could feel his heart wanting to jump right out of his chest with all the anger and pain it was harbouring. His eyes watered."She is dead because of them"

"I know. But now you have to," Elena shot a stern look at him,"remember that you are an Agent of the FBI!!"

Dean ripped himself out of Elena's grip walking away for a second to catch his breath and try and focus. This was not an easy night for any of them.

"Another Special Agent of the FBI, my partner was taken tonight. If you know anything about what is going to take place you have to speak now, before this gets any worse. You all are implicated in the murder of Davina Claire, but if something happens to my partner, thing can get really bad. Death row is knocking at your door."

Elena's phone was ringing again and she knew by the alert tone it was Jenna. She had to take the call.

"Something tells me things are really bad. I left the voice-mail with the data, but - something is not letting me rest, so-"Jenna said.

"Call you later, I am in the middle of something" Elena replied and hung up. At that very moment she could not speak to Jenna. The time was ticking. She looked at the big harvest moon, then at the women.

"Talk!" she said in a low but stern voice.

The voodoo priestess could see a flicker of darkness from Elena's eyes and all she had felt about her as she came out of the SUV now made her shiver slightly.

"Move lespri yo ap chèche pou ou (The spirits are looking for you)" the woman said to her.

Flashback

Twin Peaks, Black Lodge

Elena walked through a long  red curtain into the room with a strange black and white zigzag floor.

"Cooper" she called.

Suddenly there were strange hollow screams coming from everywhere. The light flickered as if the bulb was faulty. She walked across the room and through the red curtain yet again. It seemed like she was in the same room. But there were no screams anymore. Then Dale Cooper got through the red curtain from the opposite side. He looked at her and smirked at her and then went all serious.

"Let's rock."

"Oh, I don't think so!" Elena said and got hold of Cooper's neck. And then he screamed as if thousand banshees came bursting through him.

*

In the Bayou, Elena was losing her tether with the voodoo witch.

"Seriously, you telling me something I don't know!? And I really don't care at this very moment! There is a ritual right?"

Agnes nodded.

"Where exactly????" Elena asked narrowing her eyes at the woman.

The woman was now agitated and suddenly pleaded with Elena that she needed protection if she was going to divulge where the ritual was taking place.

"What is this? She is trying to make a deal?" Dean spat.

Elena gave him one of those looks that said not now. I know that you are hurt and you are not thinking straight and everything sucks right now, but we have to deal.

"You have a deal. You'll get protection." Elena said trying still to keep her calm- "now show me where it is!" Inside her, her heart was clumped up. All the images of Dale Cooper lying in the woods stone cold as she pulled him out of the Black Lodge, Jackson, as she found him lying lifeless by the river. She could not go through it again. Like in a haze she followed Agnes deep into the Bayou, not letting Dean go with them.

****

In Washington, DC

Rebekah called Caroline to come to her house. And as she waited for her friend, she tried once more to get hold of Marcel, but no one knew where he went.

Angrily, she tossed her phone on the sofa, running her hands nervously through her hair. How did life get so upside-down? she wondered.

Flashback A year ago

Marcel walked a blindfolded Rebekah into the apartment.

"Come on Rebekah laughingly pleaded her husband to be to take the blindfold off and show her the grand surprise he had prepared for her.

"Here" he said undoing the blindfold.

Rebekah looked at the place smiling from ear to ear, gasping with happiness, "You got it!!"

"This should have been the wedding present, but now it's my engagement present to you"

"To us!" Rebekah corrected him dearly walking around the lounge all happy then running to him wrapping her arms around his neck kissing him.

"I love you so much!" Marcel said dearly as they broke away from the kiss.

"Forever!" Rebekah said her eyes gleaming with happiness.

"Forever!" Marcel said placing another kiss on her lips.

Rebekah wiped away the tears brimming in her eyes, gazing out in the night. The buzz at the door broke her thoughts and she went to open the door. Caroline stormed in asking what was so urgent that she had to come immediately. Rebekah ushered her in.

"Something's not right. What now?" Caroline pressed on seating herself down on the sofa.

Rebekah sat down as well making a small mimic of a smile- "It's not that bad. It's actually good... but -"

"What?" Caroline was baffled.

"I am pregnant! It should be Marcel first I tell, but- I needed someone close to me"

"Oh, Bekah, this is great" Caroline now exclaimed relieved that it was not something dark.

"It is great," Rebekah smiled,"and I am happy, I really am. You know that I so wanted a baby, a family"

"Yes, I know." Caroline said full of empathy, and she also knew how much it pained her friend that it all came now when Marcel broke it all off.

"I can have the baby on my own. It will be so loved. I won't be the first, but I wanted us to be a proper family. It's not like we didn't love each other. The kidnapping changed him so much" Rebekah took a deep breath.

"He is not answering your calls?" Caroline then asked knowing Rebekah would have tried to get in touch with him.

"No. His phone is off. Not even going to voice mail. Nobody knows where he had gone. I feel that something is not right. I am so afraid that he would harm himself."

"We will find him!”Caroline reassured her friend."I know a very good PI Will Kinney"

"Why would I need a PI? He has maybe just switc hed his phone off." Rebekah was suddely in in disbelief.

"Mabybe” Carolie said,"but if you or Thierry don't hear from him - then try Will."

"I hope it doesn't come to this," Rebekah said and then looked at her belly," I still can't believe it”

"How far along are you?"

"12 weeks" Rebekah replied.

"Soo happy for you. I get to be aunty Caroline"

"Godmother. I know it's early, but I want you to be her godmother"

"Her?"

"I feel it's a her"Rebekah said.

"I'd love to be a Godmother" Caroline went all proud that she was bestowed with such special request.

*** In the Bayou, NOLA

Elena got into a small boat with Agnes. She didn't take her eyes off of the woman nor her helper, who was rowing the boat to the place of the ritual, which was to take place in a little while. She never trusted anyone like Agnes. In her experience deals made with those who dealt in dark magic could turn in a heartbeat and all would dimminish.

Strangely, the voodoo priestes now asked Elena to stop staring at her.

"What? I make you unconfortable?" Elena said with a ironic whiff in her tone.

"Ou gen dife nan je ou. (You have fire in your eyes). Eyes of thousand suns blazing." Agnes said.

Elena was told something like very similar like that once before and now narrowed her eyes at Agnes saying, "They can burn you alive, so I suggest you keep the end of your deal"

"Nan kou te chwazi a (Of course, chosen one)"

Flashback

The morning after the police found Davina's body

"Agnes, you have to help us," Jane- Anne came to the woman completely distressed,"what if they come for Monique?! I can't lose her"

"The spirits showed me the one with the heart of an angel with powers of great obifyo."

"Someone possess that great magic? If only I could get Sophie back"

"She gave up her witchraft," Agnes said,"but we will win this"

"I don't know. Look what happened to Davina"Jane-Anne said sadly.

Elena's feelings of despair were vanishing by the minute as it was apparent they were approaching the supposed place of the ritual. She had to focus even though her heart continued being in the state trepidation for Nick. They didn't have the greatest start and she treated him badly, but not because she wasn't respecting his efforts, on the contrary, she liked him. She liked him a lot. More than she thought she would. And if she found him dead her heart would explode. 

Flashback

A week or so after Elena got out of hospital.

One evening Nick came to her apartment announced. As Elena opened the door he put two boxes one on top of the other right in front of him saying,"They had this pie and I thought you could need some"

Elena smiled a little showing him in.

"And no talk of vampires or any supernatural occurrences"

"OMG. I should get monopoly out!?"Elena joked a little.

"I have not yet been beaten at monopoly!"

"Right! Be ready to have your ass whipped!" Elena went to look for the game.

Her heart was beating fast and she grabbed hold of Agnes, before she knocked Agnes' helper unconscious. She had already sensed two vampires near by. This was no time for pleasantries, and she dragged the priestess to the place lit up with torches.

"Tanpri chwazi yon sèl, pa fè m ' ale la (Please, chosen one, don't make me go there)" Agnes pleaded, clearly terrified of the creatures. Elena now looked at the woman with her eyes gleaming like amber.

"Go!" Elena then said to the old woman.

The woman was not clear if she meant it. Elena now shoved her back to the direction they came from. Whatever was to happen next Elena had to face it herself, she alone had to deal with whatever was coming. And to her horror she now saw Nick being dragged out of the cabin and taken to the ritual spot being pulled up by his legs on a tree. She could see that he was not conscious and that the blood was dripping from his neck.

She closed her for a split second, her blood roared with anger, flooding her heart.            

When the silence breaks with a thunderous roar Seasons change and I transform Oh oh oh, my heart is a storm When the time has come, I'll fly away On wings of a silver hurricane Eh eh eh, my heart is a storm My heart is a storm I shed the skin I need no more Reveal the colours I have never shown before And it spreads like particles of light Like particles of light You'll see me shimmering like crystals in the stars

My heart is a storm

The two vampires and the hybrid didn't see her coming and Elena's attack was like a unexpected storm, unstoppable and swift. Tossing the bodies in the depth of the Bayou waters, she ran back to her partner.    

Untying him, she slowly laid him down on the floor. She checked his wound. The bite was not deep. It was done purposely as they obviously needed it to drip slowly. She now pulled a small tube out of her jeans pocket and applied the ointment on the wound that had magical properties. It sealed the wound and as it got into his blood stream it acted like a booster and Nick opened his eyes, looking at her drowsily, transpiring a joyful so happy to see you.

"You will be fine" she whispered to him taking him up under her arm and they walked to the boat.

_to be continued

****

[archer3-13]

Thoughts on Other Students in 3H

in no particular order

Hubert: evil snake boi, i kinda like you. i just wish there was more actual meat to ya then what there is. still, he does his role effectively and unlike edelgard plays into the whole evil empire thing with more gusto so i ironically find him more palatable because atleast the game isnt trying to pretend he isnt shady as fuck.

Dedue: oddly charming despite his straight laced attitude, he gets some interesting nuance in how well he highly respects (cough loves cough) dimitri and likes individual people from the blue lions, he doesnt have any particular fondness for faerghus as a whole which is definitely understandable given his history. hes essentially using the camus/murdoch aspect of undying loyalty and even borrows elements of the female camuses line of romantic interest in their liege however heavily implied it might be and applying that to a male playable character. Plus he just has some fun and interesting interactions with other characters in general.

Lorenz: I have difficulty saying whether i like him. on the one hand, he ended up being more multidimensional then i thought he was going to be with his internal conflict between keeping up appearances for the sake social status and societal order and his desire to pursue his own personal interests and ideals against the needs of his father and thus societal conventions. on the other hand, the game never really runs with this as much as it should and hes still treated as a bit of a joke character so... c+ to b? 

Ingrid: the token heterosexual of the blue lions whos still kinda gay anyways, her whole struggle with being a knight over a housewife seems a bit odd on the surface considering theres plenty of female knights and no one throws much of a fuss in universe, until you learn that it isnt so much that society expects her to do it as matter of course and more so that shes struggling with whether to pursue personal duty to her family or personal desires and ideals kinda like lorenz. in that respect she hits the mark a bit better then he does.

Raphael: kinda insubstantial but i liked him anyways, his sheer exuberance can be kinda refreshing in the games darker moments and hes got a few angles of his own such as his refusal to consider his parents deaths as part of a larger conspiracy so as to not hurt his friendship with ignatz nor ruin his own life and his sisters. plus hes just generally a nice guy. like a big huggable bear. just a shame that being a nice kinda dumb huggable bear is all thats really done with him.

Ignatz: his painting stuff and personal insecurities about wanting to do it over being a knight which his parents want him to do, more of that duty over desires and ideals thing again, is well enough and his probably misplaced guilt over raphaels misfortunes is definitely a highlight of him but he never really grabs as a character for some reason. probably because theres a lot of other characters in the game that hit those same marks and do it better then him.

Sylvain: has a lot of aspects that never really feel like they get proper follow up, his big thing is less womanizer and more so that he covers up his own mistrust and personal feeling by pretending to be a shameless flirt and philanderer. basically, maybe the emotional pain will go away if i flirt with girls and act the fool. but again there never really feels like theres any proper follow up for all this, others comment on it and then its more often then not dropped in story. hes fun enough but never really realized if that makes sense.

Caspar: shonen protagonist is kinda an apt word to describe him honestly, and that idealism of his clashes with the more grey on grey morality of the world hes within which is never a particularly bad direction to take the shonen bois in if done well like hunter x hunter. And he is done well, or at least satisfactorily to the point that hes another one i ended up liking more then i thought i would. his problem is more so that his interactions with most other characters in the main cast which feel duller then they should on most occasions.

Dorothea: probably gonna get a bit of shit for this, but i have no interest in her. her insecurities about her future and getting a good husband is well and interesting but manuela does that better honestly and outside of that dorotheas a bit... not shallow but hazy and insubstantial if you will. she obviously has appeal to people but like ignatz she failed to grab me in part because others did what she did and better within the game itself.

Ashe: soft boi chose to be soft instead of hard, one of the characters i found liking and one i expected to kinda like to begin with. in game he gets accused of being childish and naive a lot but i dont see it personally, hes not naive but more so tries to look for the best in people and in life like lonato did all those years ago for him. that said, the speed with which lonato dies damages his identity as a character a bit by happening before we really get a chance to feel for his relation to lonato, its not to big a bug bear as it doesnt hurt his character all that much but it does feel a bit frustrating.

Felix: teenage angst personified, his main gripes seem to be a distaste of warrior culture and its glorification of bloodshed and sacrifice but instead of approaching it with sadness or pacifism, he lashes out against what he feels is the unfairness of the world. hes not exactly wrong in his feelings and as a character it makes sense and works for his abrasive attitude, and its an interesting twist to the navarre type to have their isolation come not from stoicism nor sheer blood lust or a combo of the two but rather from a rage against the machine of society mindset.

Ferdinand: he got more interesting as i got farther along, and i personally feel he works the best as a character when going against edelgard since thats where more of his personal drama comes from. hes eager to succeed and prove himself worthy of his title over time and holds a chivalrous mindset very similar to others in the cast but his growth is less about learning how to hold onto those ideals in the face of reality for the sake of personal fulfillment but more so about learning to define himself by himself and not by societies needs. ultimately he comes to value chivalry not because its what people tell him to value but because he truly values it and i enjoy that. but its also why i feel he works better on other routes then edelgards since there hes still valuing himself not for himself but for the expectations society or edelgard in this case is placing him under, one tyrant for another in a sense. i admit i dont remember much about him on edelgards route though because i just like him more on the others.

Leonie: poorly timed support aside, she has an odd charm to her that a lot of modern fire emblem characters just dont have anymore. but knuckling past jeralt senpai shes an interesting blend of stingy and work effort that goes to inform itself and her relations to others. and like a lot of the golden deer she has a lackadaisical attitude of ‘i might not know what the fuck is happening, but i do know someone needs an ass whooping!’ and it works especially well in her case since her character is very attuned towards focusing more on her personal matters then the grand scheme of things because she has rent due in a few months. if she was in a more traditional fe set up she would definitely be a beowolf archtype that you need to pay to recruit. in fact im surprised thats not an option on other routes to begin with for her.

Hilda: honestly suprised me by not being a pure serra type. she has aspects of that on the surface with the selfish almost vain attitude towards life and others bur well serra is more about puffing herself up to hide insecurity and contribute towards a desperate desire for grand social status, Hilda downplays herself and her abilities due to living in her brothers shadow if unintentionally and seeing the stress it can bring. they’re both lazy and vain, on the surface anyways, always getting others to do their work for them but well serra seeks more social status to escape it hilda seeks less social status to escape it. plus it was kinda funny to see hilda act as claudes unofficial number 2 you could still recruit.

Lindhart: Sleepy boi needs a nap and thats kinda it really. exaggeration maybe but unlike a lot of characters in the game and the series as a whole he really doesnt have a reason to be there as a character. as a unit certainly but not a character, in terms of motivation anyways. He hates blood, fighting and violence, hed rather sleep or pursue personal interests then work or politics, hes insightful and intelligent but the important players in the plot have other advisers and hes not interested in stepping up in that regard anyways. his only real reason for being there is academic interest and even then a pin has to be put in that when war breaks out. hes not a bad character overall though, his sleepiness and insight make for an interesting double act along with his blunt mannerisms, i just have trouble pinning down motivations for him.

Mercedes: big team mom energy, which i suppose goes along with the whole being older then everyone thing. a bit dopey and airheaded at first glance shes one of the more receptive characters to how others are feeling and well she does try to nurture shes not above scolding if she feels it would help someone more then praise and reassurance. of course shes also very detached to events of the world mostly just there to help the people around her from the bottom rather then the top which is not an insult and more one of the things i find fascinating about her. it all makes for a very interesting character and one of my personal favorites of the cast.

Annette: overworker, issues with her dad, magic bubbly, and hits things with axes. a nice recipe of a character but it never feels as if the game can get it all to blend properly. more so to the point is that most of these elements work independently of each other and not to inform each other despite the games insistence. theres a lot of dramatic potential involving her father as well and though the game makes the best use of those aspects its not to the benefit of the rest of her character. it doesnt hurt her either though and she has some appealing dialogue with other characters.

Marianne: I had trouble getting to like her, perhaps more so then any other character among the other students. not because i hated her but because shes, well, very boring. alot of the characters in the game are into the self deprecation thing already and well her personality aspects of acting quite and submissive to fall into the background from a lack of self confidence it also feels like the game came up with two different explanations for it and couldnt settle on whether it was because of her adoptive fathers pressure or her families history and instead of weaving both together decided to use them interchangeably. Sometimes shes a wallflower because of her father and a lack of confidence to state her mind and self loathing over that lack of confidence, other times its because of her lineage and self loathing over her cursed history. never really at the same time.

Bernadetta: another odd favorite for me. recent support changes aside, the basic gist of her history remains the same in that her father was a tyrant in regards to her future which caused her to grow up with no confidence and a crippling fear of society, so shes already off to a good start as a character by basically doing mariannes schtik but better. well its hard for me to definitely say she ever grows past that as a character, thats fine in my opinion because her development is less stop being a recluse because society demands you dont and more so about making actual friends and learning that not all people are garbage fires just most of them. in most of her supports anyways. she just feels the most rewarding to interact with alright, and she was the one i always felt the most upset to mess up a speak thing with. Let us hug and stay inside watching cartoons together.

Petra: i went in wanting to like her and really liking her at first, but shes hit a middle of the road for me now. her speech gimmick wasn't particularly egregious and gets even less noticeable after the timeskip, but her actual character is a very straight forward ‘national pride demands independence’ package and doesnt really escape past that boundary all that much. its very understandable motivation, id even go so far as to say that shes the one with the best reasons to betray the empire of the black eagles characters, so like ferdinand i feel she works better outside of the black eagles in term of her own character identity and motivation/development as she finally stands up for her peoples right to exist on their own in an fe6 echidna kinda fashion. outside of that though shes... foreign to the other characters. thats kinda it.

Lysithia: as a unit she hits like a truck, as a character shes functional but hardly revolutionary for the series. i mean i did like her since i have a fondness for her archtype of weird magic prodigy poor social skills, but more so that she doesn't hit any particularly new notes in that regard. Shes a lot of lute, with some delthea childishness in her, some of sanakis sharper political wit and dark history, and a bit of miriels scientist on top. that said its all blended very nicely and she has some nice scenes for herself that got me to feel and care for her, some kinda adorable moments, and a history well woven into the games background and more so then most of the other deer and a lot of the other characters from across the houses in general. for a minor character anyways.

you may now all stone me to death.

[whitewolfofwinterfell]

Angel and Cordelia (Cangel) - an in-depth analysis of their relationship

Angel and Cordelia are a ship I never expected to ship before watching Angel, but since finishing the show around November, I’ve fallen in love with them (and the show generally) and wanted to compile a post where I could express all my thoughts and feelings about them. This meta will be very in-depth and is divided into 9 sections: 

1. ‘Pensiver Face’: Opposites Attract - Will explore Angel and Cordelia’s personalities and the ways in which these two unlikely characters came together and brought out new and wonderful sides to each other. 

2. ‘Help the Helpless’: Finding purpose - Discusses the way in which Angel and Cordelia found purpose in their lives through meeting and the creation of Angel Investigations.

3. ‘We’re family’: Belonging and Family - Insight into how Angel and Cordelia created a family and home with each other that provided them with a sense of belonging (perhaps for the first time in their lives).

4. ‘My Dearest Friend’: Friendship and Love - Looks at Angel and Cordelia’s friendship and how that was at the core of their relationship throughout the series.

5. ‘You’re not alone’: Emotional connection - Uncovers the profound emotional connection Angel and Cordelia established with each other.

6. ‘It’s the stars’: Everyone can see it - Reflects on the common ‘Everyone can see it’ trope and how that was important to Angel and Cordelia’s relationship.

7. ‘Were we in love?’: Romantic love - An exploration of when and how Angel and Cordy’s romantic feelings for each other developed.

8. ‘I’ll be seeing you’: Missed Opportunity - Analyses the writing in seasons 4 and 5, and the ways in which Angel and Cordelia’s relationship was hugely disadvantaged by the writing.

9. ‘There are no people like us’: Why Angel/Cordelia are misunderstood and live in Buffy/Angel’s shadow - Unpicks some of the common misconceptions I’ve seen about Angel and Cordy’s relationship and the how comparisons made between their relationship and Buffy and Angel’s is unfair and does a disservice to both couples. 

As you can see, section 9 does discuss Buffy and Angel, because I really couldn’t discuss Angel and Cordelia without also talking about Angel’s relationship with Buffy since she was so significant to Angel. It won’t be anti-Buffy/Angel (because I’m a huge Bangel shipper, as anyone that follows me will know), but I just wanted to give a warning for those that are a big fan of the ship as you might not want to read. However, the primary focus throughout will be on Angel and Cordelia’s relationship on ATS (I don’t really give much focus to BTVS since their interactions were so brief and lacking).

Before we get into it, I wanted to say this post is long, (coming in at around 9k words, whew! I had more to say than I realised), so if you’re interested in reading you might want to grab a drink or a snack and make yourself comfortable. 

1. ‘Pensiver Face’: Opposites Attract

What makes Angel and Cordelia’s relationship so special is that it’s between two unlikely characters who, on the surface are polar opposites, but that compliment each other beautifully. Cordelia was specifically chosen to be a regular on ATS because she was the opposite to Angel - Whedon stated that Cordelia’s bright smile was needed to counteract Angel’s broody persona (x). The fundamental differences in Angel and Cordelia’s personalities meant that together they brought out different sides to each other. Angel was known for being reserved, contemplative, melancholy, deep and pessimistic, whilst in contrast Cordelia was known for being outgoing, bubbly, outspoken, shallow and optimistic.

Both characters came to ATS season 1 displaying these characteristics which they were well-known for on BTVS, but through meeting each other, they changed. Angel smiled more with Cordelia than arguably any other character in the Buffyverse (x) (x) (x) (x). Her infectious personality, witty sense of humour and straight-talking attitude coaxed him out of his shell. Also, because he was more submissive by nature, Angel responded to Cordelia’s assertiveness - she wasn’t afraid to take charge, call him out on things, make demands of him and ensure he stayed on the right path. She was the one that took charge of the business, launching Angel Investigations from practically nothing; she persuaded Angel that he should pay Gunn for working with them; she didn’t easily relent after he fired her, Wesley and Gunn; she told him he needed to set boundaries with Fred when she had a crush on Angel to prevent Fred from getting hurt; she held him accountable for getting Darla pregnant in season 3; she consistently encouraged him to fight for Connor no matter how hopeless or difficult it became and even in her brief return in season 5 she continued with this pattern. She straight up told Angel that he’d lost his way, lost sight of their mantra to help the helpless and had become entangled in the messiness of W&H. In doing so, she set Angel back on the right path. It’s strange because generally people view Angel as having more positive traits than Cordelia, but despite his good intentions, he was more prone to giving up and wallowing than Cordelia. Angel was more malleable, more willing to accept the bad in the world whilst Cordelia, on the other hand, persevered no matter what obstacles came her way and was firm in her morals. She knew what she believed to be good and she didn’t stray from that no matter what. That clear-cut attitude really helped Angel, who being a vampire and having seen so much evil, often become lost in the blurriness between good and evil, and became disheartened about fighting the good fight on numerous ocassions. Cordelia was truly Angel’s centre of gravity and moral compass - she was the one he relied on most in his redemptive journey and helping the helpless. That’s why throughout the series there was such a heavy emphasis on Angel needing Cordy (x) and why he proclaimed to be lost without her. Angel needing Cordelia was also demonstrative of a deeper emotional connection between them, which I’ll discuss later on.

Whilst Angel and Cordelia’s differences helped/changed Angel, they did the same for Cordy. Cordelia as a person was very focused on superficial gratification. She sought popularity and status, and she enjoyed money and material objects because of the pleasure they brought her. Her desire to become an actress reflects those desires she had. Although Cordelia demonstrated on BTVS that she was much more than the stereotypical popular-shallow girl she was portrayed to be (x), she wasn’t inclined to be considerate of others and empathy didn’t come naturally to her. In comparison, Angel spent a majority of his time thinking of others and had a wealth of empathy, for everybody regardless of whether they were those he loved or strangers; good or bad. There’s no doubt that the visions were a large part of what enabled Cordelia to be more empathetic since she was quite literally experiencing the traumas of others, but being close to Angel also impacted this. Until Cordelia became friends with Angel (and Doyle, Wes and Gunn), she’d never really been prioritised or cared for unconditionally. Angel’s kindness, consideration and support enabled Cordelia to open up emotionally in a way she never had before, not just to those closest to her, but to everybody. Ironically, a vampire (albeit a vampire with a soul) was the deepest insight Cordelia had gained into humanity. Angel devoted himself to helping others and Cordelia witnessed first-hand the positive impact that had on others and the rewards it brought. Whilst she fought against evil alongside the Scoobies on BTVS, it was being part of Angel Investigations that truly showed her the true meaning of fighting. It gave her purpose and belonging, which in turn allowed her to blossom in an entirely new way.

2. ‘Help the Helpless’: Finding purpose

Despite being different in many ways, Angel and Cordelia had one main thing in common - they were both seeking purpose, meaning and belonging in their lives at the start of ATS  - and they found that with each other.

On BTVS Angel went through a traumatic ordeal with losing his soul, being killed by the woman he loved, being trapped in a hell dimension, coming back to life and then having to break up with Buffy. After Angel was cursed and his soul was restored, he retreated into the shadows and lived like a hermit for a century. He no longer belonged in the vampire or the human world, and he was so consumed with the guilt about his actions as Angelus that he was paralysed. He lived a lonely and purposeless existence - until the moment he saw Buffy. Buffy symbolised hope for Angel, because she was destined to fight evil and helping her provided him with a purpose for the first time in decades and I strongly believe that this (amongst other reasons) is why he fell in love with her. So when he split up with her and left for L.A. he lost his purpose along with Buffy. It’s clear that Angel’s time with Buffy and the Scoobies had been so significant to him that he couldn’t return to the life he had before he met Buffy, he needed to continue helping people, but he didn’t know how. Meeting Doyle immediately provided him with a sense of purpose by providing him with a connection to the HP, but as I already mentioned above, Cordelia really cemented that. Although Doyle knew he and Angel had a mission that they needed to work on together, he didn’t know how to make that a reality. Cordelia’s practicality, pragmatism and organisation is what took an idea - helping the helpless - and made it a reality - Angel Investigations. Like I said, Angel knew he wanted to help others but he didn’t really have a plan. When Angel Investigations was born, it became so much more than simply helping the odd person in distress after having stumbled upon them by chance. It became an indefinite commitment and mission which provided Angel with a true purpose - a purpose he realised was the singular most important thing to him in ‘Epiphany’ (2x16).

Cordelia was also in a similar place to Angel when she arrived in L.A. at the start of ATS. During her time on BTVS Cordelia’s character was built upon her status in high-school - she was pretty, rich and popular. Although she wasn’t afraid to stand up for what she believed in (such as defending Xander against her HS friends), she generally sought the approval of others. In HS Cordelia felt that she was somebody and that really came from her popularity and status. However, she admitted that that popularity came with a downside and that she was in fact, very lonely as a result of it (x). Cordelia’s experience in her relationship with Xander only fuelled that loneliness she felt because she isolated herself from her friends to be with him, and when he cheated on her, her ‘friendships’ with the rest of the Scoobies were revealed to be superficial in nature and quickly broke down. By the time she came to ATS, she had left high school and therefore was without her boyfriend (Xander), friends and the status that HS afforded her. This explains why she was on a mission to become a famous actress - to reclaim that status that she’d lost but on an even grander scale. The problem with this is that regardless of how shallow Cordy may have appeared, she clearly craved more than just popularity, fame or money. She’d already had that but it hadn’t  fulfilled her. Enter Angel. Cordelia saw that Angel (and Doyle) needed guidance and that she could bring something important to the table. When she joined Angel and Doyle and set up Angel Investigations, she found her purpose just like Angel did. Initially, Cordelia’s desire to stick with Angel may have been because she didn’t have any other particularly appealing options, but it became so much more than that and by the end of season 1 Cordelia was wholly devoted to helping the helpless (x). In ‘Disharmony’ (2x17) she told Harmony that despite the popularity she had at HS, she was happier than she’d ever been because of the work she was doing, and having that sense of purpose came from meeting Angel. ‘Birthday’ (3x11) further reaffirmed this, when Cordelia chose being with Angel and helping the helpless over her dream of being a famous actress. 

The creation of Angel Investigations (not just the business but also the family) wouldn’t have happened if Angel and Cordelia hadn’t of come together in the way they did. From the beginning, they were the heart of everything it was and when Angel lost Cordy in season 5, he admitted that he lost his way and was lost without her (again, this beckons back to Cordy being Angel’s centre of gravity). Poetically, Cordelia kissing Angel in ‘You’re Welcome’ (5x11) and passing on the vision to him quite literally set Angel (and co.) on the path to their final battle and brought purpose back into his life. But in addition to bringing purpose to each other’s lives through their shared mission of helping the helpless, they brought something else, perhaps more significant - belonging and family.

3. ‘We’re family’: Belonging and Family

Although Angel and Cordelia had bonds with others prior to ATS - Angel had relationships with Darla, Dru, Spike, Buffy; Cordelia with Harmony, Xander and the Scoobies - they never had with anyone else what they found with each other (and the rest of Angel Investigations) (x). In season 1 Cordelia referred to Angel as being her family and Angel reiterated that later in the series. The unconditional support, acceptance and care Angel and Cordelia had towards one other was unlike anything they’d had in any of their previous relationships (particularly for Cordelia).

Angel prioritised Cordelia, he devoted himself to keeping her safe (x) (x), he was always concerned for her well-being and he took the time to get to know her as a person. He didn’t like Cordy because of her status or popularity, he liked her for her and he expressed that numerous times - he told her he liked both versions of her (old and new), that she was an extraordinary woman and that he’d never known anybody like her (x) (x). Likewise, Cordelia accepted Angel - warts and all - without white washing his past or being ignorant to his darkness. She knew Angelus had done terrible things, and that Angel wasn’t immune from making mistakes and she held him accountable for that. But she also encouraged Angel to be open with her about that side of himself, telling him to drink blood in front of her and reassuring him that she and Doyle wouldn’t judge his vamp face (x). Cordelia came face to face with Angelus multiple times and she knew that even with a soul Angel had the capacity for darkness, but she still saw the good in him and believed it out-weighed the bad. She was never under any false illusions that Angel was perfect and that’s why she was firm in her promise that if needs be she would stake Angelus without hesitation.

It’s really that unconditional support and acceptance that led them to consider each other family. What’s most significant about this is that neither of them really had that before ATS. Angel (Liam) grew up in a volatile family situation with an abusive father and Cordelia’s family was so insignificant in her life that we only had a few references to them throughout the course of BTVS and ATS and not a single appearance from them. Neither of them really had a true home or family until they found each other. The friendship they found with each other (and the rest of Angel Investigations) truly was one of the most beautiful things that ever happened to either of them and provided them with a true home for the first time in their lives. In fact, in season 4 Angel explicitly said when Cordelia was missing “We’ll do whatever it takes to bring her home, where she belongs”, which perfectly sums up the title for this section about belonging and family. The bond they forged was one of the first they established with another that felt completely secure and contented (which is also why Cordelia reacted so negatively to him abandoning her, Wes and Gunn in season 2 over Darla), because at it’s core it was a friendship built upon familial love, which in my opinion, is the strongest and most enduring love there is.

4. ‘My Dearest Friend’: Friendship and Love

The most common argument I’ve seen against Angel and Cordelia as a romantic ship is, “They should’ve just stayed friends, they were better that way”. My issue with this is that Angel and Cordelia didn’t just fulfil one or the other - friendship or romance - they fulfilled both and so much more (x). What makes Angel and Cordelia’s relationship so special is that they morphed from acquaintances, to coworkers, to confidantes, to friends, to family, to lovers and were often some (or all) of these things to each other at once. Their feelings for each other cannot be boxed in, because they encompass so much, but there is no disputing that they loved each other.

Angel and Cordy had a profound connection spanning across the entirety of ATS, that no amount of words I type can quite express. They were a constant presence in each others’ lives for years, they were by each others’ sides through some of the most significant events of their lives and they shared it all - the highs and lows, the good and bad. Even when their romantic feelings came into fruition, their friendship remained unchanged. Nothing could change that fundamental dynamic between them or the ease with which they communicated and bounced off of one another. Any scene between Angel and Cordy has a natural chemistry (the nature of that chemistry is up to interpretation), and even when Angel was a awkward, bumbling and flustered fool, their interactions never felt strained or uncomfortable. This is because they knew each other so well and were so attuned to each other, but also because their relationship was already so well established by the time they realised they had romantic feelings for each other that there was no danger of those feelings complicating or endangering that friendship. It’s why in ‘Spin the Bottle’ (4x06) Angel told Cordelia that she was his dearest friend and he wanted that back. He was able to push aside his romantic feelings and desires because her friendship was more important to him than anything else.

Some may claim it’s weird for two people who referred to each other as family to be in love with each other, but when you’re in love with someone they are your family. The fact that Angel and Cordelia had that kind of connection provided them with the closeness, comfortableness, familiarity and security for those romantic feelings to blossom. Angel, in particular, had an aversion to romance because of The Curse and his experience with Buffy, but he felt so safe with Cordelia that it’s almost like he allowed himself to feel that way about him. Likewise, Cordelia was rather guarded in matters of the heart given her romantic history with Xander, but she felt so safe with Angel that she was able to finally open herself up in that way without even really realising she was. That profound connection between them can’t really be quantified, but can be seen in their actions.

5. ‘You’re not alone’: Emotional connection

When I say that it would do them a disservice to try and box Angel and Cordelia’s relationship into the platonic or romantic arena, that’s because of the emotional connection they shared which extends beyond such labels.

According to Wiki, ‘Emotional intimacy is a psychological event that happens when trust levels and communication between two people are such that it fosters the mutual sharing of one another's deepest selves.’ It involves trust, mutual trust, sense of community, understanding, open communication and sharing a duty. As you read this I’m sure you’re realising that Angel and Cordelia had all of this. They lived in close proximity day after day for years - they worked together, they fought together, they laughed together, they loved the same people (Doyle, Wes, Gunn, Fred, Connor), they grieved together (for Doyle and Connor), they shared the same beliefs and morals and they were united in the same mission to help the helpless. All of this led to them developing a profound emotional connection whereby they came to rely on each other and trust each other, and were able to open up to each other without fear of judgement or rejection (x). Throughout the series Angel and Cordy had multiple heart to hearts in which they confided in each other, encouraged or reassured each other and those talks became more regular as their connection grew. Something as simple as Angel calling Cordelia ‘Cordy’ (which he didn’t do until ATS ‘Are You Now or Have You Ever Been?’ 2x02) demonstrated that developing connection between them.

Again, it would be futile for me to list every example of when Angel and Cordelia had a scene that showed this emotional connection (particularly since you’ll have seen them all if you’ve watched the show), but off the top of my head some key examples would be - Cordelia helped Angel open up about Doyle’s death after Angel accidentally called Wesley Doyle; Cordelia helped Angel to open up about Buffy’s death after he’d spent 3 months trying to come to terms with it; when Cordelia fell ill from a vision Angel reassured her that her value to him wasn’t invested solely in her visions; generally Angel supported Cordelia repeatedly through the trauma of her visions; after Connor was born Angel developed an overly-protective paternal instinct and wouldn’t let anybody hold him, and Cordelia was the first he allowed to hold him; after Connor’s kidnapping Cordelia was able to simply sit with him in the silence and provide the emotional support no one else could and when Angel was insecure about bonding with Connor (after his return) she reassured him he was a capable and loving father. 

Nothing showed the depth of that emotional connection more than the beginning of season 4 when Angel was at the bottom of the ocean. In order to hold on to his sanity, Angel repeatedly dreamt of Cordelia in various romantic scenarios and admitted to Wes and Gunn when he returned that the one thing that had kept him holding on was the thought of returning home to Cordelia. Cordy and his love for her was the tether to his humanity, his hope when everything was hopeless, his light in the dark. 

I could continue exploring this because their emotional connection is demonstrated in nearly every scene they have together, but the point has been made that Angel and Cordelia consistently opened up to one another and were by each other’s sides through the hardest of times. Although they both had the rest of Angel Investigations (Wesley, Gunn, Fred and Lorne), they primarily turned to each other in their time or need or when they were feeling low. They instinctively knew what to do/say to ease each other’s insecurities, fears or anxieties and were each other’s source of emotional strength. What’s even more significant about this is that their connection was so profound, that even those around them noticed it. 

6. ‘It’s the stars’: Everyone can see it

‘Everyone can see it’ is a popular romantic trope whereby a couple are perfect for each other but don’t realise their feelings for one another, but everyone else around them does. This was an integral part of Angel and Cordelia’s relationship since they found it very difficult, as friends, to make sense of their romantic feelings for each other and to acknowledge those feelings.

The first person to notice the chemistry between Angel and Cordelia was Fred in ‘Offspring’ (3x07). After seeing them sparring Fred spoke about kyrumption (two heroes meeting in battle and recognising their same fate) and moira (the gut physical attraction between two larger-than-life souls). Angel’s feelings for Cordelia had already been present long before then, but Fred’s observations provided him with an opportunity to acknowledge them for the first time and reflect on them. 

Lorne being an empath naturally had an insight into Angel’s feelings and in ‘Waiting in the Wings’ (3x13) he revealed that he’d read Angel and knew he had feelings for Cordelia. Like Fred, he also spoke of kyrumption and told Angel that the way he was feeling for Cordelia was real. Lorne consistently was attuned to Angel’s feelings for Cordelia and understood that they’d grown beyond friendship. He also actively encouraged Angel to act on them because he believed Cordelia felt the same way about him and he shouldn’t miss the chance to see what they could be. 

I watched ‘Waiting in the Wings’ with commentary from Whedon last week and in that he explained that the spell was a way for Angel and Cordelia to act on the feelings they had for each other (that they were only just starting to realise) in a way whereby they didn’t actually have to admit that they had those feelings and wanted to act on them (because they were afraid of the consequences). Fred and Lorne’s observations are very much the same - they’re a conduit through which Angel was able to internally explore his growing romantic feelings for Cordy and slowly come to the realisation that he was in love with her. 

7. ‘Were we in love?’: Romantic love

Although I’ve been primarily focused on the general connection between Angel and Cordelia and what they brought to each other’s lives, there was definitely romantic love and attraction between the two of them and it’s important to discuss that.

I think when people compare Angel and Cordy’s relationship to Angel’s relationship with Buffy people feel Angel’s love for Cordelia wasn’t romantic or passionate, but it was, it’s just that the love he had for Cordy and their relationship was so fundamentally different from his relationship with Buffy that the two can’t really be compared. Buffy was Angel’s epic, great love - it consumed him from the inside out, it was intense, passionate and devastating - but Cordy was something entirely different. She wasn’t supposed to be some big epic love, she was supposed to be a friend with whom he developed a strong bond with and slowly came to fall in love with over time. Their love wasn’t characterised by angst-ridden scenes, grand speeches of forbidden love and sexual tension - it was grounded in family, friendship and emotional connection (as I’ve explored above). Their feelings for each other weren’t sudden and didn’t start out big (they truly were just acquaintances at the start of ATS season 1), but as they spent time together, shared experiences and got to know each other, their romantic feelings quietly grew in the background until neither of them could ignore it anymore.

It’s frustrating that we never got a clear admission of love between the two (all of their love confessions were to other people or cut off before they finished), but there is no doubt in my mind that Angel and Cordelia were in love. Their actions proved that and from a personal perspective, I could feel the love between them. Everyone will have different interpretations of when they believe the pair fell in love, but interestingly, I don’t think there’s supposed to be ‘one moment’ that they fell in love, because the whole point of their relationship is that it was never that clear cut. They didn’t go to bed one night as best friends and wake up the next day a think, “I’m in love with Angel/Cordelia!”. It was a subtle evolution of feelings over time, which neither of them truly noticed until it was brought to their attention by others, because they were so used to being friends and navigating within the realms of that, that they didn’t consider the possibility that their feelings could have gone beyond that.

Since ATS was primarily focused on Angel’s POV, it’s very easy to follow Angel’s evolving feelings for Cordelia and attempt to pin-point the moment at which his romantic feelings came to fruition. Like I said, I don’t think there was one particular moment where Angel realised his feelings for Cordelia, but in my opinion, they had definitley developed by ‘Dead End’ (2x18). At the beginning of season 2, Angel had a crisis due to Darla’s return and he fired Cordelia, Wesley and Gunn. It was really the darkest we saw Angel get in ATS whilst he had his soul, he truly lost his way for a while and Cordelia was so hurt and angry by his actions that she couldn’t forgive him. When Angel finally realised he’d made a mistake cutting his friends out of his life, he did everything he could to make amends, but he seemed most affected by the loss of Cordelia’s friendship and he was determined to earn her forgiveness. What’s interesting about this is that at this point one could argue that Angel’s friendship with Cordelia wasn’t that profound and it didn’t particularly matter if they made up, because they still could’ve worked together as co-workers (although it might’ve been a little awkward and uncomfortable). But Angel was adamant that he wanted her friendship back and almost the entirety of ‘Epiphany’ (2x16) was focused on Angel’s desire to make amends with Cordy and his devastation when she refused to accept him back. This continued in ‘Disharmony’ (2x17), with him desperately fighting to earn her forgiveness and ending with him winning Cordelia over by buying her clothes, which he was visibly happy about (x). Angel’s reaction at the prospect of losing Cordelia beckons back to ‘To Shanshu to L.A.’ (1x22) when we witnessed for the first time how scared he was to lose her and also suggests that at this point in season 2 his romantic feelings were developing for her. In the following episode ‘Dead End’ (2x18), he was so focused on making Cordelia feel better (and this was likely a continuation of him making it up to her) that he brought her food and his reaction to her saying she loved him was perhaps the brightest smile I’ve ever seen on Angel’s face (x). In ‘Belonging’ (2x19), Angel’s attraction to Cordelia was made clear when he saw her in a bikini and he also expressed anger at the director of the commercial she was filming for treating her like a ‘commodity’ and a ‘slave’, forcing him to apologise to Cordelia for the way he spoke to her and telling Cordelia he would rip his head off if she wanted him to. When Cordelia was sucked into the portal to Pylea in ‘Over the Rainbow’ (2x20), Angel’s profound emotional connection to Cordelia was clear (x) - he just wanted her back, he didn’t care how or what they had to do and he expressed that he couldn’t lose Cordy again after just getting her back (also that one line, ‘It’s Cordy’, that Angel says to Wesley when he tells Angel it’s too dangerous to go through the portal and they may never get back holds so much emotion). When Cordelia admitted to loving Groo in Pylea, Angel mistakenly thought she was saying it to him and was disappointed to learn otherwise. So basically, by the end of season 2 Angel undoubtedly had romantic feelings for Cordelia, but wasn’t yet aware of them. Season 3 continued to build on that by allowing Angel to heal following Buffy’s death and reach a resolution  in ‘Heartthrob’ (3x01) whereby he could start to process his feelings for Cordy, putting him a situation where he was faced with the prospect of losing her again, therefore cementing the depth of his feelings for her (‘That Vision Thing’ 3x02) and having Fred share her observations about his feelings for her, finally allowing him to fully acknowledge them for the first time. 

From Cordelia’s POV it’s much harder to guess when her romantic feelings for Angel developed, because we didn’t get as much insight into her. I do think her feelings for him didn’t come as soon as Angel’s did for her and neither did the realisation that she felt that way. ‘That Vision Thing’ (3x02) hints that Cordelia’s feelings for Angel may have begun to grow beyond friendship when she said, “If I lose the visions I wouldn't be able to help you anymore. You wouldn't need me.” Notice, Cordelia was concerned with Angel needing her, not the rest of the team. Also, since Angel was so devoted to saving Cordelia and explicitly told her she was more important to him than his vendetta against W&H, we can assume this impacted Cordelia’s feelings towards him since this was perhaps the first time she noticed how committed he was to keeping her safe and how much he wanted her in his life. I also think that witnessing Angel go through the process of becoming a father significantly impacted Cordy’s feelings for Angel. Seeing him take on the role of a father showed an even softer, nurturing side of him and the bond Cordy developed with Connor also brought them closer together. However, ‘Birthday’ (3x11) is the first episode that properly affirms the depth of Cordelia’s feelings for Angel. She was given everything she ever wanted - fame, money, stardom - and she gave it all up to return to Angel. Despite having no memory, upon seeing Angel so broken, Cordelia instinctively leaned in and kissed him fulfilling the old fairy-tale trope of true love’s kiss breaking the spell. I think from Cordelia’s POV, she was much more closed off to allowing herself to acknowledge her romantic feelings for Angel because she didn’t even consider Angel a romantic option given The Curse. This also explains why upon Groo’s return in season 3, she resumed her relationship with him despite having clearly developed profound romantic feelings for Angel that led her to prioritise him above Groo repeatedly to the point that Groo himself noticed that she had feelings for Angel.

This brings me back to the main point about Angel and Cordelia’s romantic feelings for each other never being straightforward or easily defined. In ‘Waiting in the Wings’ (3x13) it was clear - spell or no spell - that Angel and Cordelia shared a mutual sexual attraction and that Angel’s canonically confirmed romantic feelings for Cordelia were reciprocated. Yet Cordelia didn’t confirm her feelings for him explicitly to the audience until 9 episodes later in the finale of the season. This is for a number of reasons, but primarily because it was easier to continue denying their feelings and remain friends than face the complications that a romance posed. Even if they had been given the chance to openly express their feelings for each other, what would’ve happened next? As Angel said to Lorne in ‘Waiting in the Wings’, what could he offer her (as a cursed vampire)? It would’ve been too complicated and they knew that.

That criss-cross and complexity of their love is part of the reason I love them so much, because it’s authentic and relatable. Particularly in the case of friends who have fallen in love - it’s no easy transition and it’s definitely not easy to make sense of your feelings Plus, Angel and Cordy had the added complications that went with their life (Angel being a vampire, The Curse, Darla, their friends, Angel Investigations, W&H and the supernatural world generally, to name a few). In an interview a long time ago SMG said that the most heartbreaking thing about Buffy and Angel was that it was unfulfilled love, and in this respect so are Angel and Cordelia. It’s heartbreaking because they truly loved one another but they were never even given the opportunity to see what they could potentially be. They missed their chance and because of that they were always left wondering ‘what if?’ 

8. ‘I’ll be seeing you’: Missed Opportunity 

The fact that Angel and Cordy never got their shot to be together (which they discussed in ‘You’re Welcome’ 5x11) is the tragedy of their love. However, it wouldn’t be the same love story if it didn’t have that unresolved element to it. Everybody longs for closure and resolution with their ships, but the truth is, in real life few people truly get that, they simply have to move on and live with their regrets. But whilst I love Angel and Cordelia’s relationship and story as it is, there’s no escaping the fact that they were done dirty in seasons 4 and 5 in regards to the writing and as a result their story did go in a...shall we say unfavourable direction? 

Everyone that’s ever watched ATS has problems with season 4 (I could write a separate post about the problems with season 4, particularly in regards to Cordelia’s character), and when it comes to Angel and Cordelia’s relationship, there’s a lot that was handled badly which unfortunately, derailed the beautiful development that took place between them in season 3. We still had a lot of key moments that played out between Angel and Cordelia in season 4, but the main problem with the season is that we don’t actually know when Cordelia was actually Cordelia. At what point was she herself, if she ever was? Did she really have amnesia? If so, can we count amnesia!Cordy as still being Cordy to an extent? When did Jasmine start to take over? Did she have any agency at all when she was possessed by Jasmine, even if it was only the briefest of moments? All of these questions remain unanswered and make it very difficult to fully assess the Angel/Cordelia relationship during season 4, but I’m going to try to anyway. 

What remained clear throughout season 4 was that Angel loved Cordy. In fact, despite Cordelia technically being absent for the majority of the season, it was very Cangel-heavy, perhaps more than the seasons before it. Angel had multiple dreams/fantasies about Cordelia, devoted himself to finding her when she was missing at the start of the season, was visibly distraught to have her lose her memories and strike up a relationship with Connor, and lost his soul from a fantasy of making love to her. In my opinion, this is the season that really affirmed that Angel was in love with Cordy beyond any doubt. When Angel asked Cordelia if they were in love and she replied, “We were”, I strongly believe that was Cordelia. She’d just gotten her memories back so Jasmine hadn’t had chance to worm her way to the forefront yet, and I believe in that moment that was Cordelia finally breaking through and telling Angel that she loved him. Although the circumstances are ambiguous to say the least, I believe this to be the first admission of love exchanged between the two whereby the words were said plainly (because obviously they said ‘I love you’ to each other repeatedly before this moment in other ways). However, this doesn’t undo the dirty that was done to Angel and Cordelia in this season. Despite the fact that we know Cordelia wasn’t responsible for any of her actions since she was possessed by Jasmine, it’s still very hard when watching her with Connor to separate Jasmine from Cordelia. And from Angel’s perspective, he literally watched the woman he loved have sex with his son. Finding out afterwards that it wasn’t actually Cordelia doesn’t reduce the devastating impact of witnessing that and the way the Cordelia!Jasmine arc was written did taint some aspects of their relationship by forcing Angel to have to witness ‘Cordelia’ enter into a romantic relationship with Connor and have a child with him. Also, it was utterly ridiculous and unbelievable that Angel and co. wouldn’t recognise that Cordy wasn’t herself. This is definitely a writing issue, because the whole possession thing was handled so badly in the respect that Cordelia seemed like herself (even her sleeping with Connor was believable due to her amnesiac state), but it was still not in-keeping with the show that none of her friends (and especially Angel) would notice that Cordelia was possessed. Overall, season 4 did a huge disservice to Angel and Cordelia’s romance (although the biggest disservice was definitely done to Cordelia’s character) and whilst their relationship was beautifully developed in seasons 1-3, season 4 stopped that development in its tracks. 

Season 5 continued to do a disservice to Cordelia (and Angel and Cordelia) by practically erasing Cordy from existence (I know that backstage issues with the cast need to be taken into consideration here, but the lack of consideration to Cordelia’s character is still a valid point to discuss). Despite how utterly terrified Angel was whenever faced with the prospect of losing Cordelia, in season 5 he was visibly fine about Cordelia being in a coma and wasn’t even attempting to pull her out of it. The fact that Angel (and co.) would simply stand by and go on with the rest of their lives without devoting every single second to waking Cordy  is ridiculous and completely OOC for all of them. Angel, Wes, Gunn, Fred, Lorne and Cordy were deeply connected and would have done anything for each other, and there’s no way they would’ve given up on Cordy like that. But back to the point, despite Angel being in love with Cordelia throughout season 4, there was no reference to his feelings for her until ‘You’re Welcome’ (5x11). Now, don’t get me wrong, I love that episode and I always will, but I also can’t help but notice how out of place that episode feels within the rest of the season. In the episodes leading up to it Cordelia was barely mentioned and in the episodes afterwards, her death was completely ignored with only a few passing references from Angel near the end of the season (don’t even get me started on the fact that she didn’t even get a funeral. What the hell was that all about?!?!? This is Cordy.) Furthermore, Angel reverted back to being actively in love with Buffy (particularly in ‘The Girl in Question’ 5x20, which is honestly such a bad episode, I can’t even) with no consideration given to the fact that he had feelings for Cordelia. Personally, I believe all of these consistencies come from fan pandering - the reaction to Angel and Cordelia becoming a couple was very negative so they reverted back to the Angel/Buffy relationship because it was so popular and well-loved. But back to, ‘You’re Welcome’, the episode definitely redeemed some of what was done to Cordelia (and her relationship with Angel) by giving her/them a satisfying ending after an horrendous season 4, but nothing can truly make up for the fact that Angel and Cordelia’s relationship was so abruptly ended in the manner it was. It also can’t make up for the fact that we missed out on two entire seasons worth of development that we would’ve potentially got if the Jasmine plot hadn’t taken place (again, I understand this was largely down to behind-the-scenes complications with Charisma and Whedon). 

These flaws in the writing (and execution of the relationship) in seasons 4 and 5 is far and above my biggest criticism of Angel and Cordelia’s relationship as a whole (although it’s a criticism of the writers more so than Cordelia and Angel or David and Charisma). It never would have made sense for Angel and Cordy to have a plain sailing fairy-tale romance, but they had so much more potential and could have grown to become something even more beautiful if season 4 had continued to build upon their development from seasons 1-3. ‘You’re Welcome’ perfectly demonstrates the potential they had and what they could’ve become if Cordelia hadn’t been possessed by Jasmine. And that was only a taster and we could’ve had, we could’ve so much more. In my opinion, there were no limits on where their relationship could have been taken since it was so well written, built-up and established leading up to season 4. The fact that we’ll never know how the relationship would’ve played out if it had continued is sad, but as I said, that missed chance that they had is key to Angel and Cordelia’s relationship. It’s the one that got away, the love that could never be and that one person whom we always wonder, “What if?” about. 

9. ‘There are no people like us’: Why Angel/Cordelia are misunderstood and live in Buffy/Angel’s shadow

The final section I wanted to do is an exploration of the reasons why I feel Cordelia and Angel are misunderstood as a ship and how I believe this primarily stems from the fact that they live in Buffy/Angel’s shadow. This is where I’ll be comparing Angel/Cordelia and Buffy/Angel, so if you’re a fan of Buffy/Angel, you may not want to read this final section. However, this isn’t anti-Buffy/Angel, it’s really me working through my own thoughts and feelings as both a Buffy/Angel and a Angel/Cordelia shipper (yes, we exist haha). 

People have a tendency to make comparisons between the Angel/Cordelia and Buffy/Angel relationship two relationships, when in reality (as I’ve mentioned above) the two aren’t really comparable. Angel’s relationships with Buffy and Cordelia were distinctive, took place under completely different circumstances and brought different things to his life. Angel was fully engaged in a romantic relationship with Buffy for 2 years (on and off), but he never had the opportunity to do that with Cordelia. The romantic feelings were there, as was the potential for them to act on that and see what they could be, but it didn’t happen. So to compare the two relationships (when technically Angel and Cordy never entered into a romantic relationship) is futile to say the least. However, people naturally make those comparisons and when they do they seem to come up with two key reasons Angel/Cordelia are inferior to Buffy/Angel:

1. Sexual relationship/chemistry - It hasn’t escaped my attention that Buffy and Angel have a lot more sexual chemistry than Angel and Cordelia. Honestly, in my opinion, nothing can really compare to SMG/David chemistry, it’s so damn good. However, this criticism simply fails to understand that Angel and Cordelia’s love/connection never was primarily one of a sexual nature (notice that every fantasy Angel ever had of Cordelia was romantic not sexual). Romance was definitely part of their relationship (particularly in seasons 3, 4 and 5) and they had an attraction and they had chemistry (’Waiting in the Wings’ damn well proved that), but their relationship was never about sex. In comparison to Angel and Buffy, their relationship was deeply rooted in attraction. From the moment they meet each other they’re very physically attracted to each other and in seasons 1 and 2 they both make references made to how badly they want to kiss each other whenever they’re together, whilst in season 3 they discuss the difficulties they find in fighting against their sexual attraction to each other. As a result, Angel and Buffy’s relationship was always heavily steeped in sexual tension. The fact that Angel and Cordelia’s relationship didn’t have the same level of sexual attraction doesn’t make that relationship any less important, just different (which I know I keep saying, but it’s kind of my whole argument here - the two relationships are so fundamentally different you can’t compare them). 

2. Buffy is Angel’s one and only true love - There’s no denying that Buffy was and always will be Angel’s great love, but to quote one of my not-so-favourite shows (The Vampire Diaries), contrary to popular belief, people can (and usually do) have more than one great love in their lives. Clinging too tightly to the Buffy/Angel relationship ignores the immense changes Angel undergoes on ATS and the fact he moved on from Buffy (up until Spike’s return in season 5, which reverts him back to being kind of obsessed with Buffy, which is such bad writing and so inconsistent that it annoys me. And this isn’t  including crossovers either, because damn, they’re so problematic/inconsistent and I didn’t even realised until I watched ATS, but I can see now why the writers didn’t want to do too many crossovers despite the fans wanting them). Buffy was always in Angel’s heart and he always carried her with him, but he didn’t actively pine over her or yearn for her when he moved to L.A. (he did more so in season 1 and particularly after the events of ‘I Will Remember You’, but he slowly moved on). Angel conclusively and healthily moved on from Buffy - he established a life for himself which he loved and made him happy, he found a home, friends and embarked on a new love with Cordy. When two people have shared a love like Angel did with Buffy, it never goes away but it does change and it almost grows dormant (for reference, there’s a brilliant meta that discusses Angel moving on from Buffy which you can read here). To use a real life example here, my mom (who’s now 50) has been in around 5 serious long-term relationships in her life and has been with her current partner for 5 years and is completely in love with him. However, she’s openly admitted to me that she loved my dad more than she’s ever loved any man and she still regards him the love of her life. That doesn’t mean she’s still in love with him, because she’s not. She hasn’t seen him in two decades, she’s moved on and she’s found love with someone new. That love she had with him is a memory in her head and her heart, but it has no place in her life now. She’s a different person, her life has changed dramatically and that love is in the past. If he rocked up now he’d be a stranger to her and regardless of those memories she has of him, he’s no longer the person she’s in love with. That’s exactly what happened with Buffy and Angel. They always loved each other, but Angel truly did move forward (whether Buffy moved on is something I’m less unsure of). In ‘Heartthrob’ (3x01) Angel told James that he’d lost the woman he loved (Buffy) and that he had loved her with his whole heart. In response, James said that that couldn’t be true because if it was, when she had died Angel would’ve died along with her. After that, in a scene with Cordy (x), Angel admitted that he was okay and had dealt with Buffy’s death and how he felt guilty about that. In my opinion, this episode (and those scenes in particular) confirmed that Angel had moved on from Buffy and had gotten to a place where he could finally open himself up to Cordelia wholeheartedly. In fact, David spoke about how Angel had moved on from Buffy and that Cordy was what he needed (he also mentioned Darla, which is a topic I won’t get into because I could write an entirely separate post about that too) and here’s what he said: 

Interviewer: Darla killed herself, right? The baby's mother? Who's gonna step up and help Angel raise the baby? Buffy?

David: God, no. Buffy's pretty much out of the picture. They've played their storyline and that's just the past. I think between Cordelia and Fred he'll be mommied to death. But, Buffy's just the past.

Interviewer: Oh, come on. Buffy can never really be just the past, can she? I mean, that's Angel's soulmate.

David: I think Darla was probably his soulmate. I mean, they spent a hundred years together, then made a baby. You can't just--

Interviewer: Well, then Buffy was his first love.

David: Angel was Buffy's first love, but Angel loved Darla in a sick way.

Interviewer: I'm a Buffy/Angel fan. Sorry.

David: You're forgiven. No, I'm just saying that the two shows are on different networks and it's not gonna happen. There's no more story there for those two. Buffy isn't Angel's priority anymore. In season one and two of our show, she was always in the back of his mind, well, now it's all about the baby and Buffy is just, well, she's just a person he used to know.

Interviewer : Awww, come on! The story there was so incredible.

David: And like every good story, it came to an end. And then started over. On. Different. Networks. (again with the emphasis)

Interviewer : Is Angel going to hook up with Cordy?

David: Well, I'm all for it. I don't know what the writers have planned in that regard, but I'm a fan of Charisma's work and I'd love for our characters to be romantically involved. Cordy is really what Angel needs, I believe. (x)

See, it’s important to acknowledge that as amazing as Buffy and Angel’s story was, they broke up and went their separate ways. As David rightfully pointed out, it was the past and Buffy was no longer his priority. It’s always frustrated me that Angel was expected not to move on and to pine for Buffy, whilst Buffy was allowed to move on and find love again. The argument is that Angel was so much older than Buffy that he couldn’t or rather shouldn’t want to find love, whilst Buffy was still young, but the problem is, although Angel was technically old, he was still a teenager himself in terms of his experiences in love. He didn’t have a soul for 100 years so was incapable of love and then he spent 100 years when he had a soul cut off from the world. He had barely experienced anything the world had to offer and he certainly hadn’t had the opportunity to forge connections with others or explore the world of love. Buffy was able to move on from Angel and experience different types of relationships/loves with Parker (urgh), Riley and Spike (amongst others who she flirted with or briefly dated post-BTVS season 3). Angel deserved the same opportunity to experience new types of relationships that were different than the one he had with Buffy. I’m going to use another quote The Vampire Diaries because I feel it sums this up perfectly, “I realised that I may not be able to explain what I feel for her, but it is something, and, yeah, maybe all love isn't true love in the messed up way that you and I have experienced it, but I think this could turn into something even better.” This right here is exactly how I perceive Angel’s feelings for Buffy and Cordelia to be. Angel had only ever loved one person, Buffy was all he’d ever known of love and it was so big, messy and all-consuming , but with Cordelia he realised that love didn’t necessarily have to be like that and that there are different types of love. 

There’s no disputing that Angel never loved Cordelia in the same way he loved Buffy (which this post explains perfectly) - Angel will never love anyone the way he loved Buffy, but he did fall in love with Cordelia and she enriched his life in new ways and filled a void in him in much the same way Buffy did. During ATS Cordelia surpassed Buffy in importance simply because of the place she had in Angel’s life - she was the center of his world and without her it wouldn’t be the same (we saw that in season 5). It would be unfair to claim Angel couldn’t or shouldn’t love someone else just because he had such an intense love with Buffy. What makes his relationship with Cordelia so special is that it was so different than the love he had with Buffy. Those two loves will always sit in contrast to each other, but will never overshadow or replace one another because they’re both significant and special for different reasons. 

The point of talking about this was really just to highlight that Angel and Cordelia’s relationship is not by any means invalid or inferior because of Buffy/Angel. Both relationships are important and exist in contrast to each other. Angel and Cordelia’s relationship does tend to be misunderstood and/or unappreciated due to the nature of the writing (which had a lot of problems in seasons 4 and 5, and even a little in season 3) and because they’re too heavily compared to the hot and heavy romance between Angel and Buffy. However, Angel and Cordelia’s relationship developed organically over time in a subtle way and is demonstrative of how much relationships can evolve as life progresses and circumstances change, and how two people can grow together. Theirs was a story about two people, who in the beginning were indifferent to each other, but grew to know each other profoundly and found a lot through being in each others lives - purpose, belonging, family, friendship and love - and through having and sharing that, they fell in love. It’s not a conventional romantic love as most of us would expect, and they didn’t have the chances to fully explore their romantic connection because their story ended prematurely, but it was a beautiful relationship embedded in human connection and friendship at the deepest and purest level.

If you got to the end of this, thank you so much for reading. This took me days and days to write and edit, so I’m really grateful to you for reading and would appreciate likes/reblogs if you found this interesting. I’d also love to hear your thoughts on this topic, so if you have any feel free to stop by my ask box :)

[thatgryffinwhore]

My Personal Voltron Season 7 Review

Okay, so I’m seeing a lot of S7 hate and love on here, and I have some opinions of my own, so let’s talk…

(Just so you know, none of my opinions are influenced by which ships did or didn’t get their moment.)

THE BADS:

• First off, I hated the game show episode. Hated it. The only part I liked was the end where they all voted for who should get to leave and gave reasons for it, but then they just cut through a good moment with Keith’s reasoning for picking Lance. Like, totally threw his character development out the window for a jab at Lance, which, ha ha, makes an audience of ten-year-olds laugh I guess. But for older and long-time fans of the show, it just fell short of anything good. The whole episode was full of Lance jabs, too. And Lance has been developing as a character, so I don’t think that was very fair. Here, it’s like the one-sided rivalry all the way back from S1 is back, but this time Keith, the leader, is the petty one. I just really didn’t like that episode. Overall, they were barely in character, character development was completely ignored, and it did not move the plot along What So Ever. Filler episodes were cute in earlier seasons, but this season is the penultimate. There’s sooo many more filler options that could’ve maintained the tone of the season while still being funny and light-hearted.

• Too many new characters. I feel like the writers are digging themselves in a hole here. Don’t get me wrong, I like Romelle, but she’s just… there. In the background. The only scenes where she’s given any screen time are comedic ones, which is great, but she’s just tagging along and the loss of hER ENTIRE CIVILIZATION AND HER BROTHER DYING IN HER ARMS Is never acknowledged. I would’ve liked to have seen a bonding moment between Allura and Romelle, maybe even with Coran. Hell, they could’ve made THAT the filler episode. Aside from Romelle, I feel like they did a good job with Krolia’s character and her bond with Keith, but they haven’t really given us a reason as to why she’s there. What’s her purpose? Too much screen time with too little impact on the plot, in my opinion. Don’t get me started on Acxa. No point. Literally no point. I seriously hope that the writers have plans for her in S8 other than Keith’s love interest. Characters don’t have to fall in love to get closure, but it seems like that might be the “closure” route they’re heading to with Keith and it scares me. It’s such a forced relationship. I don’t mind Keith getting with a girl but shit, at least put him with someone the audience can connect with. A blade member that he fought side-by-side with or something, not “I’m so sorry for being on an evil team, I’m different now” and “don’t you remember how she never wanted to kill him uwu” ugh. Please stop. And I like Griffin’s team, a lot, but I’m not sure what the purpose is of introducing a group of characters with main-character potential with only one season left. Maybe it’s a surprise, or maybe they just did it so the audience could be better invested in the flashbacks about what happened to Earth.

• The??? Fucking getting lost in space??? How? Like, I sort of understand the purpose: Keith’s been separated from the team for a while, and they need to re-establish their bond. However, it seems like Keith’s character development has been ignored again, and he’s reverted back to S1 Keith, which is really annoying. I was rolling my eyes the whole time. Like, I get it, they’re going a little space-crazy, and they’re gonna turn on each other a bit. But it’s like the writers forgot that they aren’t in S1 and S2 anymore, or at least that’s how it felt to me. Angsty Keith, *yawn* been there, done that. He’s an adult now. And their leader. They could’ve gone about re-forging the paladins’ bonds another way. Not to mention, the time-lighting thing was never explained, never made any sense. Oh! And guess what else was ignored? The characters figured out a long freakin time ago that they could call out to their lions for help, did they just forget?

• Shiro and Keith practically don’t interact throughout the entire season, besides ep 1. Again, I kind of get it. They dedicated an entire episode to their bond, last season and this one. I’m not looking for more proof of their bond, but they need to talk about Shiro being dead, Keith fighting his clone, and Keith willingly falling to his death with Shiro. They’ve both got to be traumatized on some level, and it’s not even acknowledged. Like, what are the writers afraid of? Are they afraid that the Sheith shippers will get their hopes up? Are they afraid Klance shippers will get mad? Are they afraid people will get bored of Shiro and Keith interacting? Did they just not have enough time to address it (*cough* game show episode *cough*)? Like, regardless of the reasoning, a lot of shit happened between the two that needs to be talked about. I don’t know and it doesn’t matter if the writers intend for them to be like brothers or best friends or something more, that kind of stuff needs closure. Shiro probably has nightmares about dying/being dead and trying to kill his team. Keith probably has flashbacks of the first person other than his dead father to care about him trying to murder him and saying he should’ve abandoned him. Writers, please, even a thirty second conversation would suffice if it’s done well. They at least need a

“I’m sorry I tried to kill you, Keith.”

“It wasn’t you, Shiro. I’m sorry I didn’t know you were dead.”

“It’s okay, you saved me from that darkness. I thought I was going to be there forever.”

Then they hug and go on their ways. That’s it! That’s the bare minimum. That would’ve sufficed. Shiro’s obviously got some heavy inner monologue, why push it off to S8 or ignore it completely?

• And for my last bad, we have: killing Adam. This isn’t about shipping; I really didn’t care if Shiro and Adam got back together or not. But they deserved closure. Shiro deserves closure. I know Shiro’s the “stoic leader” but he has feelings, and the writers just keep making bad shit happen to him and never address how it’s affected him. Listen, Shiro is an LGBT+ rep regardless of whether he’s in a relationship, as long as he isn’t killed off. But give him some depth. The closest thing to that we’ve gotten so far is knowing that he (used to have?) muscular dystrophy, and seeing his memories of Keith. Other than that, where’s his backstory? His reason for joining the Garrison? His family? How his adventures have affected him mentally? Adam could’ve been the window to all of that, but they killed off an opportunity. If they wanted to highlight the loss of war, they could’ve killed one of Lance’s many family members, or one of Hunk’s; but Adam, as far as we know, was all Shiro had to come back to. He was the only way that they could’ve taken Shiro and made him into a more complex character. Besides that, I don’t think it’s right that they had us anticipating meeting this queer character for nearly an entire season before revealing he’d died. It’s not as bad as when some shows kill off queers, but still… I hope they give Shiro a romantic interest in someone else; queer representation includes healthy queer relationships and happy endings.

Overall for the bads, in my opinion, this is the gist of it: Character development was ignored at times. Some of the writing was lazy. Too many characters/plot point, too little time. Not addressing major issues with characters. And… queerbaiting. You don’t have to agree, but this is my opinion on queerbaiting: it isn’t black and white. Sometimes it’s terrible, sometimes it’s just a little annoying. Voltron killed off a queer character, but he wasn’t a main, and he wasn’t the only queer, and we didn’t know him. On the other hand, he was the only other (confirmed) queer character’s love interest. On a queerbaiting scale of 1-10, I’d call it a 5. Like I said, it’s partly redeemable if they give Shiro another male love interest.

THE GOODS:

• Shiro’s flashbacks of Keith. We’ve been seeing since S1 how much Keith cares about Shiro, and now we finally get a glimpse of Shiro caring about Keith. The “we saved each other” line. The flashbacks paired with Keith’s desperation really cemented that bond that they started showing us in S6, and little Keith was adorable. It was also important to get a little more background on Keith, it tied up all the loose ends from Keith and Krolia’s time in the quantum abyss. Also in ep 1, the humor was top-notch. The writers managed to make comedy out of a dire situation for the paladins, and Romelle seemed to fit in very well! And I find it impressive that shifting back and forth between the funny, light-hearted adventure of the others and the solemn, tense situation in the Black Lion didn’t kill the mood of either plot line. It will come as no surprise to you that ep 1 was my favorite of the season; probably one of my favorites in the series.

• Having Krolia separate from the team. Don’t get me wrong, I love Krolia. She’s a great mom and her relationship with Keith was written perfectly; it checked all the boxes for my hopes when Keith finally met his mother. But she was older and more mature than the paladins; she didn’t fit in. In her heart, she’s a member of the Blade, and she knows she’s more useful to the cause as a spy and fighting alongside Kolivan. I’m glad that they didn’t undercut my love for Krolia by having her awkwardly tagging along. And the writers kicked fragile masculinity’s ass with the goodbye scene between Keith and Krolia. The soft smiles, the “I love you”s, the hugs, and KeiTH GIVING HER HIS BLADE THAT HES HAD SINCE HE WAS A BABY BECAUSE HE KNEW HED SEE HER AGAin those were all wonderful. Everything about the mother/son relationship between Keith and Krolia, from the moment they met to the moment they said goodbye, was perfectly executed. They took their time with it. Kudos to the writers for that.

• Character development. Barring everything I said in the ‘BADS’ because I don’t want to be repetitive, the character development in S7 was phenomenal. We have Lance taking on more leadership responsibilities, stepping up, protecting people he cares about at the risk of his own life, and respecting Keith as the team leader. In this season, I’ve grown to respect Lance a lot (ha) more. And we finally get some background on Hunk, we see him missing his family and home, we see him crying, being frustrated about it. We see him opening up to Keith. Keith, of all people (maybe Keith was the only one who asked). Either way, I love the depth they gave Hunk, and I love the acknowledgement of Keith and Hunk’s friendship, especially after that lost in space scene. And Keith’s character development, omg. It was the best. He was a leader before, but now, he could give Shiro a run for his money. Maybe he already did. The team respects him unhesitatingly. He leads them out of every life-or-death situation on top. He helps them forge a closer bond with their lions than they’ve ever had before, on more than one occasion. And he does something that’s really hard for him, which is asking someone else (Hunk) to open up to him. He offers to listen to his teammate’s worries. His fighting (mostly hand-to-hand combat) skills are clearly the best we’ve seen in the show, right on the same level with Shiro. When he killed that Druid without seeing him I was like 😯, and when hE LAUNCHED OUT AN AIRBORNE LION AND SLICED THROUGH SENDAK LIKE HE WAS NOTHING BECAUSE SHIRO WAS IN DANGER I Was like 😲!!!

• The animation was outstanding. I know the poor animators were busting their asses, especially during those last few episodes. It’s got to be the best animation I’ve seen in the show so far (besides the ‘The Black Paladins’ animation in S6, it sent me into another dimension). In fact, VLD has some of the best animation I’ve ever seen in shows of its kind, and that’s saying something. Those fight scenes get you so immersed, and they’re like a visual orgasm.

• This one is more opinion than anything else, so I’ll keep it short, but I love how they showed the fighting spirit of Earth. How humanity never gives in. I think that’s part of why everyone enjoyed those flashback episodes of Earth so much; the audience felt they could relate to those people, and they felt proud to call themselves human. In the show, while interrogating Sendak’s memories, they asked, “What do you do if a planet refuses to give up?” (Referring to Earth). And Sendak basically says, “We destroy it, but the only planet who’s ever refused to give up is Altea.” And I. Love. That. Time and time again, we’ve been shown how smart and powerful the Alteans were, and now we’re being compared to them. I love the overall way that the writers handled the paladins’ return to Earth. I love the paladins’ interactions with Griffin’s team, I love the Alteans integrating easily with humans, I love humanity’s resilience being showcased, I love the reunions, I love Keith’s interaction with Iverson, and, most of all (some people won’t agree with me on this), I love that humans already knew about aliens and the Galra when Voltron returned. I would have dreaded them having to go through quarantine, and being called crazy, and having to fight against the Garrison, and whatnot. I just love how most of the last few episodes were handled; it was mostly the middle of the season that I had issues with.

Overall for the goods: I liked getting a little insight into how much Shiro cares for Keith. I liked ep 1 a lot. I liked how well they handled everything about Krolia. I liked the character development and background that we FINALLY get throughout the season. The amazing animation. Enough said. And the way the writers wrote Earth, in the flashbacks and in the present.

Overall for the season: I don’t think it completely tanked. I think too much of people’s opinions are based on ships, but I agree that this was not the best season, and it fell short in a lot of areas. It was a little disappointing, but not un-redeemable, and I think everyone who’s saying “fuck Voltron” and swearing to never watch it again is a bit ridiculous and childish, tbh. Disagree if you want, but that’s my opinion and last I checked, I was allowed to have one.

Alright, let me know if I left anything out! Feel free to add anything or share your opinion, even if it’s negative, I want to know your thoughts!

[artcanary]

1-50

oh my god dude 

im gonna put this under a cut bc this is a lot. this is a ride, have fun i guess

1. Your first OC ever?god. its got to be Super Kitty. when i was like … an incredibly small child I used to draw comic strips about this feline caped crusader, who was friends with everyone in the city, and the comics always involved him stopping an evil banana man from stealing money from the local bank. He was paid with donuts for his service to the city. i still remember how to draw him. 

2. Do you have a personal favourite among your OCs?i’d get arrested if I didn’t answer this with Bronze, probably… but really, they’re very important to me

3. Have you ever adopted a character or gotten a character from someone else?man, i cant remember! i really dont think i have… P:

4. A character you rarely talk about?there’s loads of characters ive never even posted a single picture of on tumblr, i wouldnt even know where to start asdf

5. If you could make only one of your OCs popular/known, who would it be? bronze is the easy answer, but… i guess that could also go to Servant or Westrin. Servant has a comic project in the works that basically stars him, sort of a series of one-shots about the things he’s experienced, i feel like that would be a good thing to take off and run with. Westrin’s just fun as hell, i love the guy.

6. Two OCs of yours that look alike despite not being related?real talk now… there’s at least five different characters that i refer to as a whole as “bronze-tangential”, who started out as, “what would bronze be like if they were in this world?” and then becoming their own thing within said world because i just get stupid attached 

its an epidemic

7. Are your OCs part of any story or stories?nearly all of them, actually. that’s the main reason i make characters, after all! too many to really go into specifics here, again P: 

8. Do you RP as any of your OCs? If you do, introduce one of your RP OCs here!not often, but i think Bronze and Westrin are the most common ones. unless playing a character in dnd, or running an npc in dnd counts… then a whole lot more hahaha

9. Would you ever be willing to give any of your OCs to someone else?it depends on the circumstances. i don’t really like the idea, though. 

10. Introduce an OC with a complicated design? Westrin’s old getup is a pain to draw, and there was one other design i did that I cant find anywhere… whichever way, i dont often tend to draw super complicated things often 

a couple fakemon ive designed though… heheh those can get pretty finicky

11. Is there any OC of yours you could describe as a “sunshine”? hmmmmmmmm my immediate thought was Eric Silverdale from a comic i was working on a few years ago. hes a darling, i want him to be my friend irl

12. Name an OC that isn’t yours but who you like a lothow could you do this to me i love each and every one of all my friends ocs GOD the first one who comes to mind is @d20-official‘s Smith, whos Bronze’s friend… everyone in that DND party actually

13. Do you have any troublemaker OCs? Rated on a scale from “harmless” to “honestly somewhat frightening”: -Baromet (charming and quite friendly but definitely a kleptomaniac),-Westrin (demigod of bards and travelers), -XEN09 (a nonsense hacker), -Conny (needlessly contrarian and dumb as HELL), -Enza Colie (long fucking story but hes a good-for-nothing), -Hemlocke (mad scientist, chaotic evil), -Iris (AI and hacker, VERY bad), -The Terminus (glitch-in-the-matrix demon, chaotic evil), -and Sydd (the Queen of the Faeries, hopefully the danger there needs no explaining :’D)

14. Introduce an OC with a tragic backstory Mmm… there’s a few of them, most obviously Lent (whose background I did a short comic about). Basically his entire town got eaten by ghosts and turned into zombies, he only barely survived with a sliver of his soul left. 

15. Do you like to talk about your OCs with other people?yes, i often discuss storylines and such with friends

16. Which one of your OCs would be the best at biology (school subject)? Probably Bronze’s dad! I don’t talk about him much, but his name’s Devon Reed, and he was a biotech developer specialising in android design. 

I often describe him as being something of a reverse Arthur Weasley - a very fatherly scientist fascinated to the moon and back with the concept of magic. 

17. Any OC OTPs? having trouble thinking of a lot of them right now, but there’s Eric + Lent & Naiadine + Tailias from Emerald Sigil, Avken + Baromet from my space campaign world, Sydd + Wyvv from my unnamed campaign world, and I’ve been considering Westrin + Servant as an interesting dynamic in Servant’s story

18. Any OC crackships? My character Bismuth and @autistictimeknight​‘s oc Eros. Theyre so fucking in love, I love it. Its been awhile but I do still think about them sometimes.

As I recall, Eros is an empath, she can read other people’s emotions. But Bismuth is a robot, and Eros can’t read her. Because of this Eros can let go of her fear of unintentionally manipulating the emotions of her date, which would hold her back from most other relationships. 

19. Introduce an OC that means a lot to you (and explain why)Hey, meet Bronze! I definitely do not talk about them every five minutes, why would you say that. 

Bronze was with me through two of the hardest years of my life so far, and being a DND character they grew with me, both as a fighter and as a person. They were non-binary before I started using those pronouns, they were the first character or person or anything who I fought someone about using the right pronouns for, they make a great icebreaker for if I want to see how someone reacts to non-binary pronouns … 

One funny anecdote about Bronze is that when I first made them, their “gimmick” was that they would sometimes glitch out and mess up their speech, mostly because I wanted an excuse not to engage in the roleplaying (which I was very bad at). The interesting thing is that as I got better at interacting with the group, we both grew out of needing it very quickly. 

I’m very proud of Bronze. 

20. Do any of your OCs sing? If they sing, care to share more details (headcanon voice, what kind of songs they like etc)?Westrin is a bard! His singing voice sounds like Bill Wurtz and these are his theme songs.

21. Your most artistic OCProbably Westrin again, he writes a lot of songs… and Hallux is a game designer?

22. Is there any OC of yours people tend to mischaracterize? If yes, how? I honestly dont know… no-one talks to me about them, haha! 

people use all manner of pronouns for bronze, though. 

23. Introduce OC that has changed from your first idea concerning what the character would be like?I’m gonna go with Enza for this one. Enza Colie was originally written entirely because I wanted an antagonist for a short starring his sister, Jane Colie. But the more I fleshed out his reasonings for acting how he did and explored his character, the more I realised he’d make an even more interesting character if allowed to have a redemption arc, too. 

I just want to state for the record that I was very reluctant to the idea, and he basically dragged his way out of the villain pit entirely of his own accord. I am dubiously proud of him, and also a bit scared. 

24. If you could meet one OC of yours, who would it be and why?Probably either Eric (Big Man, Best Friend), Crocus (Mother figure), Reed (Father Figure), Westrin (hed just make a good friend u kno??), or Bismuth (she makes good conversation!)

25. The OC that resembles you the most (same hobby, height, shared like/dislike for something etc?)probably the homestuck fan-troll Hallux, but that’s mostly because they were based on a troll-sona I made awhile ago. They’re a hope/prospit game designer who is small and full of rage and love

oh, and there’s dave! dave’s a superhero speedster, existing in a modern-day superhero version of seattle. theyre idiot, just like me,

26. Have you ever had to change your OC’s design or something else about them against your will? this is an interesting one… i don’t think ive ever had something Bad in a design ive done called to my attention by someone, but I did create my character Servant at around the same time I was first really expanding the diversity of my casts. (since i don’t talk about him often, a little context: he’s a magic spirit creature bound to human form to serve the royal family of the land and follow their orders.) 

somehow, younger-and-more-stupid me managed to have the revelation that making this “eternal slave” character literally anything other than a white man, especially as a white author, would be Pretty Not Good. im … thats really, really not something i should pat myself on the back for, but i do consider it one of the biggest bullets dodged in my artistic career so far that i realised that not all representation is good representation so quickly, before i could make that incredibly, incurably stupid mistake. 

after that, trying to make sure my characters and their presentations don’t harm anyone pretty much has become a paranoia. i don’t seem to have stepped on any toes yet, but when it inevitably happens, please let me know - i didnt know, and i want to fix it! 

27. Any OCs that were inspired by a certain song? None that I can think of, actually! I don’t really do that often. 

28. Your most dangerous OC? god damn it i have no idea!!! is it the terminus? glitch in the matrix god of chaos motherfucker?is it sarle? terrifying calculating scientist with the power of the soul at her fingertips ??? is it ares??? is it athena????? is it petra?????? the gatekeeper???? 

… actually, the gatekeeper might be it, if “dangerous” just refers to “the amount of raw power it can wield”. the Gatekeeper is a titanic entity that exists in interdimensional multiverse space, and its implied to have the ability to create and destroy entire universe bubbles at will. for what cosmic purpose, no-one knows. 

at a more personal scale, though, literally all of the aforementioned characters are pretty bad to run into too. 

29. Which one of your OCs would go investigate an abandoned house at night without telling anyone they’re going?god. Mina or Tawn. Tawn is the Indiana Jonesy type and probably dumb enough, but also competent enough not to get into too much trouble there. Mina would probably drag her friends along. 

30. Which one of your OCs would most likely have a secret stuffed animal collection? XEN09. No-one knows, because no-one knows xir personal identity. Xe absolutely does, though. It’s less of a secret if you know xir in person, but good luck finding out about it otherwise. 

31. Pick one OC of yours and explain what their tumblr blog would be like (what they reblog, layout, anything really)dave just reblogs memes all the time tbh. they like to keep tabs on the ridiculous superhero news going on, and they show human jokes and cat videos to their alien gf. they dont really post or add to posts, but they talk in tags a lot. 

32. Which one of your OCs would be the most suitable horror game protagonist and why? i want to say tawn because i literally just realised ive been imagining their voice as sounding like luigi this entire fucking time and i never realised until this exact instant

33. Your shyest OC?probably baromet. they prefer to keep to themself in their hideout, with their collection of shiny things. they don’t really enjoy trying to communicate much, mostly because they expect to get yelled at. 

34. Do you have any twin characters?Yes! At least two sets; 

- Crocus and Sarle. (x) (x) They don’t exactly have a very well-developed relationship, but they are both quite important to the plot of my campaign world, and they are both very interesting. Crocus is a motherly figure who just exudes friendliness, while Sarle is .. very much not that, a researcher studying very gruesome things and pushing the boundaries of reality. 

- Jane and Enza Colie. I haven’t talked a whole lot about either of them here, but I’d rather leave their story to do the talking whenever I get around to it. Essentially, the both of them were intended to do the dirty work for their crime boss family, but Jane ditched to study medicine. Most of the conflict between the two of them comes out of Enza not understanding why she made the choice she did, and coming to understand how he’s been manipulated. 

35. Any sibling characters? I can’t really think of any off the top of my head, I should … I should really work on that. 

I can talk about Westrin, though. Westrin (a demigod of many things, but namely bards, travel, travelers, and people who are lost) often becomes close friends with mortals, sometimes practically adopting them. These people who consider him family, and people who have received his blessing, are able to use his surname, Brilanta, as their own if they choose. So I guess all of the Brilantas are siblings, at least in spirit. 

Oh, and XEN09 has like, seven siblings. Xe is the second-oldest, and least remarkable. 

36. Do you have OC pairs where the other part belongs to someone else (siblings, lovers, friends etc)? I already talked about Eros and Bismuth up there a ways in question 18, but I’ll talk about another relationship here. @autistictimeknight​‘s character, Nova the Alchemist, is mentor and adopted parental figure to my character Munna. Munna … Munna isn’t a very good apprentice. She tries very hard. 

37. Introduce an OC who is not quite human That’s most of them, I’m not quite sure what to say here. Bronze is an android? Bronze again? Westrin? All the aliens ?? 

38. Which one of your OCs would be the best dancer? man. uh. westrin or jean. or perhaps valencia. 

39. Introduce any character you want ??? uhhhHHHhhHHH Lord Brillium is the reigning deity of the Cloud Kingdoms in the other campaign setting I’m working on. They represent light and the quest for knowledge, and spend most of their days in the Cathedral Observatory watching the stars. 

40. Any fond memories linked to your characters? Feel free to share!one time bronze flew a hover-bike through the stained glass window in a cathedral blaring all star by smash mouth on their iguana

also one time bronze rickrolled a rakshasa demon and then pulled updog on it like, two minutes later

another time bronze scared off an entire army by pretending to be an automated security system 

41. Has anyone drawn fanart of your OCs? If yes, maybe show a picture or two here (remember sources & permissions!)ive got a whole little folder on here from all you blessed people !!!! right now ive got a drawing quinn did of one o fmy characters as my lockscreen

but i think the one i’ll really never ever get over is this piece of Jane, by @rabendraws​ / @owoltron​: 

(i bet you thought i forgot about this, dude. dude. think again.) 

42. Which one of your OCs would be the most interested in Greek gods? this is kind of a weird question, m, I feel like Bismuth would find learning about the mythos utterly fascinating, as would Tawn. 

43. Do you have any certain type when you create your OCs? Do you tend to favour some certain traits or looks? It’s time to confesshaha. uh. i might. 

aside from the entire “bronze-tangential characters” thing i mentioned awhile back, I tend to really like designing characters with hair color lighter than their skin color. it just looks so cool man. i love drawing freckles but dont put them on enough characters. i like really curly hair, but also really long and flowy hair. i like drawing triangular body types, and pointy/prominent noses. 

44. Something you like about your OCs in generaluhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh this is a really vague question. m. m. 

45. A character you no longer use?there’s old versions of characters, but a lot of my older ones have been somehow repurposed. I guess there’s Turien, my first-ever DND character, who’s just kind of sitting dead now. Haven’t really done anything with him other than a pretty recent tangential character. 

46. Has anyone ever told you that you treat your OCs badly?Not that I can think of.

47. Has anyone ever (friendly) claimed any of your OCs as their child? Im certain it’s happened, but I can’t remember any specific instances. 

48. OC who is a perfect cinnamon roll, too good for this world, too pureSpring. spring knows nothing of th dangers of the world who is letting them into fights someon eneeds to stop this

(spring roll, hehe.) 

49. Which one of your OCs would most likely enjoy memesim not sure what this question is asking since many of my ocs actively enjoy memes including but not limited to westrin, dave, bronze, xen09, iris, and doctor archersen

50. Give me the good ol’ OC talk here. Talk about anything you wanti think. i think im going to pass on this one. i gave you the good old oc talk. your damn turn, yall: 

if you have any questions about any of these guys feel free to shoot one at me!

thats all from me im tired and its one am. techskylander you absolute madman