#heckin' crows

[sea-dukes-assistant]

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THE CROWS ARE JUDGING YOU, KAREN.

[sea-dukes-assistant]

THANK, @say-duhnelle. This was great to wake up to.

DENISE. DENISE WAKE UP AT LOOK AT THIS CROW. @betweenfrocksandbooks

Unrestrained winter fun

[sociallyawkwardsailor]

[scngbard]

@dameschnee123​ sent: Hunter carving Raine a new violin as a gift on their birthday which I headcanon is in January. Camila baked a cake. That’s all.

unprompted asks || always accepting!

Ngl, for the entire time that I’ve had Raine, I’ve yet to actually figure out when their birthday would be. LMAOOOO! xD But, aww that would be such a sweet gift though! And, Raine would absolutely adore the thought and care that went into having something carved like that. They’d treasure that thing forever, okay? akjsdfas And although Raine isn’t the biggest of sweet tooths, they would very much appreciate the cake, too x3

[thejolteonmastertj]

Ppl who think Wild doesn’t brush his hair 1-3 times a day simply have clearly never had hair that long outside of dreadlocks… & definitely never tried to keep hair that long in a normal-ass ponytail.

Wild’s hair is a recipe for disaster.

Cuz, like, once you get that sh’t matted to the point of a crow’s nest once? Unless you can comb that sh’t out, (& good luck with that, btw,) you’re f’cked.

Cuz, see, if you cave & just chop the matted mess out of ur hair even once, ur hair becomes uneven…

…& when you try to put uneven hair into a ponytail that causes more mats.

I mean, in-theory it’s not too bad if you cut vertically, but even with mirrors that’s near-impossible to do by urself… & last I checked there aren’t too many mirrors in Wild’s Hyrule… so…

That man’s cut a crow’s nest out of his hair at least once, & if LU Wild indeed hasn’t cut his hair since his journey started… that shit’s uneven & unless he brushes it near-obsessively it’s just gonna keep getting matted asf.

Suuuuure.

Words of a man who’s probably cried more tears over his goddamn hair than the heckin guardians trying to kill him again.

[nice-and-accurate-ramblings]

⚠️WARNING: Spoilers for Good Omens Season 2 Episode 6 below the cut!

DO NOT CLICK BELOW THE CUT IF YOU DON’T WANT SPOILERS! I’m live-blogging this because I need emotional support apparently

Eight battery operated candles,,, no more open flames in the bookshop I see

“It all looked so simple in Jane Austen :(” Aziraphale have I mentioned that I love you

JANE AUSTEN DIAMOND ROBBERY IS A STORY I STILL VERY MUCH NEED

Bees :)

Oh god Angel Crowley look is infinitely worse in context for some reason

SOCKS AND SANDALS CROWLEY. REALLY.

WHAT IS THAT WALK, I-

Maggie has BALLS and I love her

MAGGIE STAY BEHIND THE THRESHOLD PLEASE

Shax I am going to fight you

MAGGIE I FUCKING LOVE YOU

oh no

Oh no

That was an invitation

This is vampire rules isn’t it

Fuck

OH no

never thought I would be happy to see that circle light up

“You can all leave now and nobody will be hurt” “you’ll be hurt”

Hey uh. Did the theme song change? That guitar riff is new?

Wait yeah things have DEFINITELY changed in the theme song, unless I’m crazy I don’t think the Bentley drove through the theater before?

SOMETHING IS UP IN THE DOWN THEME SONG

Crowley is so fuckin smug lmao

Crowley has adopted Muriel hasn’t he

“I don’t have clearance. You’d have to be a throne or a dominion or above.” Crowley just opened the fucking file. “I haven’t always been a demon, and they never change their passwords.” COOL COOL COOL COOL COOL GUESS ITS TIME TO REVISIT THAT ASK ABOUT THE HIERARCHY OF HEAVEN

Aziraphale really said siege warfare o_o

“Does what you say make sense in your head?” Nina I love you

MOTHERFUCKERS IT WAS AN ARMAGEDDON PLOT!! I WAS RIGHT!! … and wrong, Gabriel was a dissenter!!

Gabriel is a major asshole but he is uh. An asshole opposed to Armageddon: The Sequel

NINA AND MAGGIE YOU BADASSES

“Why all the fire extinguishers?” I AM CRYING

Oh no. Saraquel is sharp o_o

Oh my god they were coworkers

He is Crowley’s emotional support Angel and it happens to be mutual thank you very much 🙄

Nina and Maggie my beloveds

What the fuck happened for Gabriel to be against Armageddon, I need to know

FOR IT TO HAPPEN TWICE

Was Crowley- WAS THAT TALKING ABOUT SATAN OR ABOUT SOMETHING ELSE

“Junior recording Angel, 38th class” congrats Muriel, you’re no longer the lowest ranking Angel in heaven!

THE BOX!!

He’s letting them throw books, they’re desperate, Crowley HURRY

Okay so his memory was in the matchbox that was in the box but fell out?

IS THAT A HALO?

AZIRAPHALE HAS A HALO!!!

oh that. That killed a lot of demons.

Yes I believe you did in fact just start a war. Holy shit.

HE BLEW UP HIS HALO. Well fuck.

“Apparently if we do a miracle together it all works a bit too well” yes hm you two do work very well together don’t you 👀

SO THAT’S WHAT THE FLY IS!! CROWLEY YOU ARE HECKIN SMART

This is some ineffable bureaucracy if I’ve ever seen it

Everyday playing in the background 👀

WELL. THIS IS INTERESTING.

bobbing my head along to Everyday with Gabriel and Beelzebub :)

OKAY I DIDN’T. EXPECT THIS. BUT I AM ENJOYING IT VERY MUCH.

“I JUST FOUND SOMETHING THAT MATTERED MORE TO ME THAN CHOOSING SIDES” OKAY. OKAY YEAH. MHM YUP YES OKAH YES

I am going insane.

I was not expecting these two to get together before azicrow

IT IS VERY QUIET AND GENTLE AND ROMANTIC INDEED

The Metatron is a surprise homie

OKAY. SO CROWLEY APPARENTLY JUST. KNEW THE METATRON. AZIRAPHALE IS ALL AWED BUT CROWLEY IS LIKE “OH YEAH. YOU.” The Angel Crowley lore deepens

Don’t call Muriel dim >:(

“We need a little us time” 👀

HE’S CLEANING UP THE BOOK SHOP FOR HIM I AM CRYING

NINA CALLING MAGGIE ANGEL- I AM GOING TO COMBUST. HELLLP

oh my god if they just convinced Crowley to have an honest conversation

Metatron. What was that. Stay the fuck away from them. Mind your fucking business.

Muriel was given The Crow Road :)

AZIRAPHALE LET HIM TALK

No.

No. Noooo no no no no.

OUR SIDE AZIRAPHALE. OUR FUCKING SIDE.

Don’t you dare. What happened to the “I regret nothing” on your playlist.

YOU DON’T WANT TO GO BACK TO HEAVEN.

I SWEAR, DON’T DO THIS

TO-

I-

“Well obviously you said no to hell, you’re the bad guys!” WHAT DO YOU MEAN YOU’RE?! WHAT HAPPENED TO OUR OWN SIDE?!?!?!

I’m going to simply pass away now.

Stop. STOP. HE WAS SO HONEST AND THIS IS- CROWLEY IS CRYING AND IM CRYING AND

nooo not the glasses 😭😭😭😭😭

No nightengales,,, we could’ve been us

“I forgive you” cool cool cool cool cool cool cool I have been stabbed in the chest

The second coming?!?!?! Fuck

NOT HIM TURNING OFF “A NIGHTINGALE SANG IN BARKLEY SQUARE”

I am unwell

I am going to need so much fanfic after this

I WAS JOKING WHEN I SAID I WAS LIVE-BLOGGING FOR MORAL SUPPORT

HOW LONG UNTIL SEASON THREE 😭😭😭😭

[gelastocoridae]

This season on wildlife rehab (so far):

I finally got rabies vaccinated this Feb! Here I come, vector species *rubbing my hands together*

Very first babies of the season were three horned larks who threw me, the "bird-whisperer" as one coworker insists, completely for a loop. The last time we had a single horned lark was two years ago

Also one absolutely teeny house finch. Pink and fuzzy, profoundly little (he's fully feathered now and learning to self feed and we're all so proud of our baby!!!)

...followed by a dozen more older finches

Two other species we haven't had in at least the three years I've worked there - Lincoln's sparrow and White-crowned sparrow 🤨

(I mean we've had brewers and chipping sparrows and even a lark sparrow but ??)

A baby northern flicker, so young he looked just a little bit,, obscene lol (he had a horrible first day recovering from his injuries but now his feathers are growing in and he's perching on bark and we're also so proud 🥺)

Bunnies, bunnies, and more bunnies!! Good Lord they are such little dollops of velvet with lil pipe-cleaner sized paws, and you're telling me I get to hold them??? 🥺💕💕

Was literally about to close the gate behind me leaving one night, still in the driveway,, and my car headlights catch the eyes of a still-alive raccoon that had JUST been hit by a car moments earlier,,,

so I hit reverse, get out of the car, and heckin sprint back inside to fetch the only two people left in the building at 10pm - the actual Raccoons Staff - to help catch it

Finally typical baby birds that are not finches! But ofc it's starlings that eat like crap

And robins! And doves! ...with broken legs or subq emphysema (thanks outdoor cats)

Don't worry, we fixed the broken legs!

Still working on the sqe tho, slowly but surely

And bunnies with de-gloved hind-ends

(thanks outdoor cats)

Oh, some of the finches are being weird, like they've aspirated but their lungs are perfectly fine?? HAVE A PELICAN

A PELICAN WITH A GIGANTIC, EXPENSIVE, TRIPLE TRI-HOOKED FISHING LURE

LITERALLY HOOKING HER WHOLE FOOT TO HER THROAT POUCH. TEARING HOLES IN HER FOOT AND HER VERY IMPORTANT THROAT POUCH

Also she almost snapped two staff members who tested her patience teehee (she got fixed up n released! Yay!!)

Back to regularly scheduled bunny

I learned how to bottle feed two baby raccoons and one of them just wanted to snuggle into my elbow for safety 🥺💕🥺

Back to regularly scheduled finches. I mean starlings. I mean birds.

I said something in off-handed retail-tuned humor to a staff member i don't know super well to cope with understaffing stress and found out I'm viewed as senior staff with valuable love and expertise who is respected enough that my comment raised serious concern 😭🥺

Baby crow. This year's protocol to avoid habituation when feeding corvids is a camo suit with a picture of a crow face taped to the hat. With eye holes cut out.

Hate this so much I decided to sculpt a hand puppet crow head to try (like they used for the California condors). This is currently laying half finished on my desk

Those problem finches be problem-ing. Throwing everything we have at them and still haven't figured out how to fix them. Cue group problem solving in the Bird ICU Slack channel

Somewhere in all that were some fox kits and a separate adult whose shedding winter coat completely saved him from a fence wire amputating his tail

All these bunnies need antibiotics (thanks outdoor cats)

The softest, sweetest adult goldfinch 🥺

The most ferocious adult house sparrow, victimizing all my coworkers (not me tho, I'm immune to bird beak)

Both courtesy of window strikes

Two - count em, TWO common poorwills in one week!

A red-winged blackbird? In my rehab center??? Since when does anyone find injured rwb's?

TIL a lot of flickers n such end up caught in expanding foam sealant. Like. Come on guys. If you're putting that stuff anywhere. Sit watch until it's dry.

Come on, it's not that hard. Avoid having to carve out the screaming animal you were trying to evict

Anyways my dad/other boss is a contractor so I shot him a text and helped our vet & intake staff learn how to save more such lives in the future! The Flicker in question was able to keep almost all of his flight feathers intact (yay, less regrowth time!), regain his legs n feet, and eagerly scarf down all the mealworms we can give him

Btw a good solvent for expanding foam? High content rubbing alcohol

Anyways

Baby beavers look fake

They're so gosh darn adorable but like. You're telling me that hand-puppet that just squeaked at me for cuddles is a living baby? Too good to be true, but it is 🥺

Got stopped by a stranger at the public library to be asked about the baby beaver. I will never know if it was purely because I was wearing a logo shirt or bc the person saw me as staff on our last social media post n recognized me in public 😵‍💫😎

[grim-faux]

noooooooooooooooooo

so good. an excellent recreate of the comic! AHHHHH!

YAAAALLL KNOW WHO IT IS, finally done. Sadly they’re cancelled and non-canon but please let me be in denial.

[queenlua]

oh this is such a delightful ask meme -- 3, 48, 54?

3. Foaming hand soap or normal hand soap?

oooh i LOVE the foamy soap. i have always sort of disliked the hand-feel of traditional soap & remember when i first encountered foamy soap at a friend's house as a preteen, it was a REVELATION, and now i buy it for myself always lol

48. If you could build your home from scratch, what outrageous feature would you want to build into it?

a houseboat went on sale near me a while back that had a heckin FIREMAN'S POLE built into it. like, you could fuckin slide from floor 2 onto floor 1 directly into a breakfast nook. i am so jealous of that houseboat, i want a fireman's pole so bad

54. Do you decorate your house for holidays? Which ones?

I HAVE BEEN SUPER LAZY WITH DECORATING HISTORICALLY... but in fairness we only JUST moved out of #apartmentlife this past fall so. we're gonna have to up our game in the coming years

BUT: my first purchase, after we moved into this house, was a couple metal crows by this artist, and they sit perched by our front door year-round

AND ALSO: every year we get a LIVE christmas tree. which struck me as totally wild the first time we did it—we always had fake plastic trees back in Kentucky—but yeah, turns out in the PNW you can pay like five bucks for a permit & then walk into your nearest national forest & personally hack a tree down & it's totally worth it. i mean, except for cleaning up the pine needles after, and also, real tree branches aren't as sturdy at holding up ornaments as plastic branches... but it's still SO fun & smells so good, worth it

[cthulhubrain]

trying to search bird face reference images on google and it just bombards you with a stream of constant ai and photomanips and i JUST NEED SOME REAL HECKIN CROW REFS WHY IS THIS SO HARD GOOGLE.

[sociallyawkwardsailor]

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Crows be judgin'.

[greedbent]

Still, the Cavalry Captain didn’t successfully pull a laugh out of his companion, but a noise nevertheless rumbled through his throat, expelled on another weighty breath as he ever so slightly shook his head. Dismissive, perhaps. Easily masked as such to any onlookers: a patron who was nothing short of unenthused by the otherwise beloved and cherished charmer of a man who walked these streets as if he were an Archon himself. Genuinely, though, Kaz tasted something like bile on his tongue, nearly coughing as if to rid the flavor before washing it away under another drink.

He lived in a world of lies. (But didn’t everyone, technically?) Practically survived through devious schemes, careful plots, a lack of decency. But here, despite all that, listening to the sugarcoated, feigned integrity slithering off this man’s tongue like a snake coated in diamonds did little more than repulse him.

And the “good people” of this City of Freedom truly fell for this hogwash? Kaz couldn’t determine who was worse: the manipulator himself, or the blind birds letting themselves be manipulated.

His glass thunked a bit louder on the bar. That same half-, or maybe quarter-smile held on his lips, and though his dark eyes had since dipped down, in the space of a breath, he squared the captain again willingly, readily. “Some might say it’s the captain’s business to be in everyone else’s business, might even take little issue with him getting his hands dirty,” he agreed, all the while deconstructing every little line on Kaeya’s face. “Over time, other more observant people might begin to notice his hands never were all that clean to start.”

Kaz’s attention trailed to the bronze fingers poking out of dark gloves, the way they curled deftly around the goblet perched atop Kaeya’s palm. He drummed his own contrastingly clad digits on the lip of his glass, met his companion’s inquisitive stare again. “It’s the cats,” Kaz deadpanned. In a blink, he turned again to face forward.

For someone so displeased at having company, Kaz made no effort to remove himself from the conversation. And he could. Kaeya wouldn't stop him; wouldn't make a scene and draw unwanted attention to them both.

But a mutual understanding hung in the air: that of a game just begun, and the unwillingness of both players to forfeit. It was a curious strategy for a man who'd surely prefer to stay out of the public eye, since talking to Mondstadt's beloved Cavalry Captain was bound to achieve the opposite. Thus, it was clear that their motivations here were the same.

Rumors and reputations were a solid starting point, but the best information—about a target, an adversary, an unknown, and anyone in between—was often gathered face-to-face...unfortunately for Mister Brekker.

"Naturally," Kaeya agreed, his smile unwavering against the mockery in the other's tone. He'd never expected Kaz to fall for the act, after all. It just seemed appropriate to welcome such a prestigious individual to Mondstadt with the full experience. (It wasn't Kaeya's fault that such straight-laced, stone-faced men were the funnest to annoy.)

"The duties of a Knight are never truly finished, no matter the time or place." Shifting in his seat, Kaeya mirrored the other's posture to tilt inward to their conversation. He swirled his drink as he considered his companion. "Though I'm not sure I'd go so far as to call it a 'sterling character,' as you put it. But regardless, you seem well aware of my devotion to our fair city—so surely you can appreciate my interest in you, by extension. I make it my business to know everyone who comes in and out of Mondstadt. If that means spending my fair share of evenings sharing drinks with interesting company?" A shrug rolled his shoulders. "Call that a perk of the job."

Kaeya tilted his head in a dramatization of genuine intrigue. "Now that you've so expertly seen through to my reason for being here, what of you? I doubt it's the cats that bring you in, either—nor apparently the company," he chuckled, coupled with another shrug much more unapologetic in nature.

[quickreaver]

hi cris, thanks for doing the fandom bingo -- and now, happy wincest wednesday! :) To keep the fun wincest engagement going: who are some no-longer-in-the-fandom authors that you think newcomers should go back and read?

Hey, Z! This is such a good question! SO MANY. And since the numbers are high, I'm gonna stick to folks I've read that are easily found on AO3. I would be here all week otherwise. (I was a late bloomer and still am a slow reader.) We're so lucky here in SPNland. Back in the day, when YKINMKATO reigned and people knew how to scroll on, the field was verdant...

~I already mentioned paxlux in a previous post, who has made a recent return to the brothers, at least briefly. If you appreciate poetic prose, lots of atmosphere, give them a try.

~In a similar vein as paxlux: lovetincture. And part of what I really adore about both of these authors is that they don't feel the need to go into (porno)graphic detail. Sometimes, the relationship, the feeeeeelings, are enough. But if you do loves you some durty:

~dollylux, homo_pink (they're still floating around the fandom, pretty sure! They just haven't written in a while), riyku, leonidaslion (tho they don't always hit my id, they're good), nutkin and mollyamory. Gorgeously shameless!

~One of my fave authors, with or without the brotherlovin' is candlebeck, holy crow, are they GOOD. Same with kroki_refur. Masterful writers, period. They make it seem so easy but we know, it sure as heckin' is not.

~Road_rythm writes some beautifully complicated stuff! Complicated, in that it's thinky and twisty and unsettling in every way it really should be.

~And lastly, rei_c. Anything they wrote set in New Orleans is *chef's kiss*. And one of my old go-to 'verses is their Five Districts, Five Drugs series. Due for a re-read, actually!

There are more I'm forgetting, I'm sure! So we'll save them for another Wednesday. In the meantime...

[screamingcrows]

hi i’m yelling directly to ur inbox. sending my crows to ur crows. y’know. y’crow. idk

i actually really!!! liked the dottore pov!!! obviously it isn’t the norm for xreader fics but it served the story excellently and i may just be weird in this respect but i enjoy a lot seeing the character’s perspective in xreader stuff, plus the way you write dottore is. like. so good??? as juni said it tickles my brain. it’s heckin superb!!!! no pun intended but you have served us good food on this day. okay maybe pun intended. thank you

i’m still incoherent but you got me inspired so cbsndbsj thank u have a great day

That's it, I'm crying now and I hope you're all happy /lh ;-; my crows are doing a little hoppity hop at yours and offering shiny rock!

I'm so glad to know there are others who enjoy dottore pov! I'll keep going for us. And thank you again for giving it a chance despite all the warnings, I'm so glad you enjoyed! All these compliments (and great puns) are gonna make me explode from happy shdhshsh especially because I love how you portray Dottore so this means a lot <3

Have a great day too!

[redjaybird]

[Altogether in a less messy way now, and I wanted to explain them (under cut)]

Eevee-> Umbreon: Because I wanted to do a twin thing where Jar has Espeon, so Jay has Umbreon

Ghastly -> Haunter -> Gengar: I mean, do I need to explain this one? Look at Gengar. Its obviously something for him.

Zorua -> Zoroark named Shadow: The colors, the aesthetic, the trickery

Scraggy -> Scrafty: Dark/Fighting little punk dude is fitting

Inkay -> Malamar: Dark type, deep sea because he has a thing for the waters and had an AU where he's from the deep sea

Pumpkaboo -> Gourgeist XXL (+many other pumpkaboos omg he has so many): Because Jay is all Halloween all the time, plus the more lost souls in the area, the bigger the pumpkaboo. Wonder how he got that.

Chinchou -> Lantern: Angler fish based, another AU reason where he was like an angler fish person

Seviper: Jay's neck tattoo is a snake, he has a thing for snakes, also this thing's fangs and tail are basically knives

Murkrow -> Honchkrow: I needed to give him a dark bird and at the time that was like, it. Also corvid and it being a crow, and crows are also often linked to spooky things

(Galarian) Meowth -> Perrserker named Menoetius: Finally a REAL GOOD excuse to give Jay my favorite pokemon; it gained a steel type and viking berserker themes! Jay's abilities are kinda berserker like. Plus perrserker's claws can form into daggers

Impidimp -> Morgrem -> Grimmsnarl named Grimmdark: The perfect fairy type for Jay, its a little heckin' imp! Goes well with Jay's very impish nature, and False Surrender is a good move. Also big beef look with long hair.

Rookidee -> Corvisquire -> Corviknight: Corvisquire specifically looks like a Blue Jay, which is Jay's bird (and namesake). Jay's are corvids. Yeah

Quaxly -> Quaxwell -> Quaquaval: A water type starter that gains a fighting typing. Fancy show bird.

Mankey -> Primape -> Annihilape named Appolyon: It got so angry it heckin' died and came back to fight some more. A literal Rage pokemon.

Shroodle -> Grafaiai named Vandal: Jay does vandalism. Its like the most minor of his crimes.

(Paldean) Tauros named Asterius: To go with a Minotaur theme, because its a monster that suits Jay. Also its fighting type now and also all black. Also Jay kinda has some bull-like qualities.

Bramblin -> Brambleghast: Because a lot of Pandora is desert

Greavard -> Houndstone: Because Jay just loves it, its a good doggo full of love. An A+ companion doggo. Nevermind that the puppy could drain your life.

Haxorus: Because axe. Its an axe dragon, it has an axe for a face, it learns Guillotine.

Kleavor: More axe

(Hisuian) Sneasel -> Sneasler: It was really hard picking between the sneasels. The long claws are great for him. He's not so much a fan of the cold, but dark typing is one of his mains. But this one is Fighting/Poison, which he can get behind both.

(Hisuian) Zorua -> Zoroark: The vengeful ghost, he digs it

(Hisuian) Qwilfish -> Overqwil: Full of spikes. And Overqwil sounds like overkill.

[haldenlith]

🍫 Who is more likely to steal the other's clothes? What are their favorite items to steal? - for Hal and Crow please, I miss those two 😁

Such is a symptom of not actively playing, I also don't really have ideas outside of angsty what-ifs and general trouble-in-paradise. (At this point in the timeline, Hal's depressive mind is definitely working against him.) Maybe I should write that stuff...

ANYWAY, I digress, to the ask!

I would say, between the two of them, it'd definitely be Crow, given that I don't think Hal can fit into most of Crow's clothes, being that he's the bigger guy between them. (Not by a whole heckin' lot, but enough to make for different clothing sizing.)

Of course, you may be thinking, "Oh, Hal's clothes must be really comfy on Crow then!" And... you're only half-right. Crow totally steals his house/lounge robes (of which Hal has two -- a fuzzy one, and a silk one), because they ARE comfy, and unlike Hal, he's a little less into walking around the apartment naked/almost naked. Hal's shirts, though, are only a little loose on Crow, given that Hal likes his shirts snug (gotta show off the goods). Though, I imagine Crow looks pretty damn good in Hal's muscle tanks.

(Forget Crow stealing pants. Not happening, at least not without a good belt.)

All of that said, Hal does like to steal Crow's white shirt he wears under his armor. It's the only thing he can fit into of Crow's (because it's loose), though buttoning it gets to be questionable at his chest. (I picture it being like... a linen collarless/band collar button-down.) This doesn't happen often, given that Crow needs to physically be there and either wearing something else or undressed for Hal to have access to it.

Anyway, hmmm, favorite item for Crow to steal... Probably going back to Hal's robes, particularly the silky one. It's comfy, it's fancy, and he looks good lounging in it -- which he knows via Hal. Turns out, he looks pretty good in red and black silk.