#heavy infusion
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teethcollector54 · 11 months ago
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I NEED YOU TO KNOW
THEY CAN OR CANT READ KNOW IT NOW
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I'm surprised how many of them can read SOMETIMES THEY ARE BABIES THO OR ELDERLY THAT IS REAL THING SOMETIMES PEOPLE FORGET OR WERE NEVER ALIVE LONG TO REMEMBER AND STILL GROW UP LEARNING UPWARDS
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autisminfinite · 2 years ago
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the shadow android fandom is dying reblog if youre a true droid
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tj-crochets · 9 months ago
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hey hey hey my brain is kinda spinning out on the whole "focusing" thing so I think I might draw some more things, if anyone has suggestions of things to draw? I might also consider making like mini plushie versions of people's OCs or fursonas or something. Or assemble a puzzle? Probably not that one I don't think I can sit still that long right now But like seriously if you have drawing/painting suggestions or would enjoy seeing a simplified version of your OC/fursona/other character of yours idk the catch-all term I will gladly take suggestions. Currently my to-draw list is just "a leaf of some kind". I make no guarantees I will make art of the specific thing you suggest but depending on the number of suggestions there's a pretty decent chance
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roetrolls · 1 year ago
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Hmmm what if i were to [EXPLODES EXPLODES EXPLODES]
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sadgirlautumn · 1 year ago
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GRRRRR I tried to go to sleep at 3pm and I couldn’t so when my 4:45pm alarm went off I expected myself to get up but no… that’s when my body finally decided to go to sleep and now it’s 6:15pm and my dad just had a pizza delivered even though he literally never does that… what dystopian reality did I wake up in
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septembersghost · 2 years ago
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the netflix cringe right after people started taking him seriously is not sitting the best with me
my brain had to shift gears in such a major way here that it took me a moment to realize what you were talking about - i think it'll be okay, don't worry! it's easy to feel protective of that, i know, but people who don't take him seriously still aren't going to take him seriously, so it doesn't alter anything there, and the people who DO love him and take him seriously are just having fun with it because they know the truth anyway, and it's not going to change that. it's supposed to be irreverent! he would love it, he was a nut (affectionate)!!! i know there's this idea that it's a cash grab, but that's not fair either. it's just a silly way to fulfill that superhero secret agent dream, it's not meant to be serious or a statement on his legacy in that sense. if anything, it's probably better that it came AFTER the film, when that humanity and value was so restored, there are a ton of new people welcomed into the fold now to enjoy it and who will still honor that more serious aspect. all that said, you do NOT have to watch it if it stresses you/if you dislike the concept/casting/etc, it doesn't have any bearing on your own feelings and dedication.
edit: but anon looooook at him
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nikonuee · 5 months ago
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Fic idea: Bella micro-doses on venom (by accident) throughout her relationship with Edward and incrementally gets turned into a vampire.
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brittlebutch · 11 months ago
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actually, much to think about re: Brian's relationship with Tim and Jay's relationship with Tim being complete mirrors of each other
#N posts stuff#people are seemingly a Lot more willing to criticize Brian than they are willing to criticize Jay but it's important to note they both Suck#which is to say: Brian starts out working WITH Tim - regardless of how you necessarily interpret Tim's relationship with like#memory and agency it's obvious that in Season One and Two the two of them were Partners that worked Together#in fact Tim does most of the heavy lifting in Season One -- he's not Just a passively manipulated pawn; he is a Partner#BUT after they get separated by Operator-Related Memory Loss and After Brian finds Tim's medical records that prove that#HE was the 'source' of the whole mess - Brian switches to only really Using Tim as a means to an end#HOWEVER; every early interaction Jay has with Tim before Entry63 (after Brian pushes them together) is an interaction#where Jay is Using Tim as a means to an end -- from the interview in Season One to stalking Tim in season Three to manipulating#Tim into going out to the Hospital with him to uploading Tim's medical records publicly - Jay is Using Tim as a means to an end#Jay isn't explaining himself or being open in ways that let Tim have any agency in what they're doing; and then it's AFTER#their relationship intersects with Brian's machinations that Tim is informed enough to enter a begrudging partnership with Jay#After which they become more friendly -> it's like a complete mirror image; fascinating#you Could argue that Brian's actions are more 'dangerous' given the theft of Tim's meds & passive surveillance of his seizure#BUT like. is it? bc Jay is manipulating Tim to go to these trauma-infused locations when JAY knows that there are Numerous#external threats to their safety that he actively hides from Tim. and also if Tim was a real person then doxxing him could have#not only had tangible consequences for Tim's like. employment. but under the diegetic presence of the YT Channel then also#his privacy and Safety from the Audience that jay has amassed which Jay ALSO doesn't tell Tim about#mh lb
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chilewithcarnage · 1 year ago
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got mildly injured in the stupidest way this morning
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reasonsforhope · 7 months ago
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"Amsterdam’s roofs have just been converted into a giant sponge that will make the city more climate resilient.
The Dutch have always been famous for their ability to control water, born out of the necessity of their homeland, much of which is below sea level.
Now, their expert water management skills are transforming the city skyline in the capital city of Amsterdam from one of terracotta tile, concrete, and shingles into green grass and brown earth.
It’s part of a new climate-resiliency trend in architecture and civic planning known as the ‘sponge city concept,’ in which a garden of water-loving plants, mosses, and soil absorbs excess rainwater before feeding it into the building for use in flushing toilets or watering plants on the ground.
If heavy rains are predicted, a smart valve system empties the stored rainwater into the municipal storm drains and sewers in advance of the weather, allowing the roof to soak up water and reduce flooding in the city.
In this way, the rooftops of buildings can be wrung out and filled up just like a sponge.
In Amsterdam, 45,000 square meters, or 11 acres of flat metropolitan rooftops have already been fitted with these systems, and the contracting firms behind the technology say they make sense in dry climates like Spain just as much as in wet climates like Amsterdam...
A 4-year project of different firms and organizations called Resilio, the resilient network for smart climate adaptive rooftops, rolled out thousands of square meters of sponge city technology into new buildings. As with many climate technologies, the costs are high upfront but tend to result in savings from several expenditures like water utilities and water damage, over a long-enough time horizon...
All together, Amsterdam’s sponge capacity is over 120,000 gallons.
“We think the concept is applicable to many urban areas around the world,” Kasper Spaan from Waternet, Amsterdam’s public water management organization, told Wired Magazine. “In the south of Europe–Italy and Spain–where there are really drought-stressed areas, there’s new attention for rainwater catchment.”
Indeed the sponge city concept comes into a different shade when installed in drought-prone regions. Waters absorbed by rooftops during heavy rains can be used for municipal purposes to reduce pressure on underground aquifers or rivers, or be sweated out under the Sun’s rays which cools the interior of the building naturally.
Additionally, if solar panels were added on top of the rooftop garden, the evaporation would keep the panels cooler, which has been shown in other projects to improve their energy generation.
“Our philosophy in the end is not that on every roof, everything is possible,” says Spaan, “but that on every roof, something is possible.”
Matt Simon, reporting on the Resilio project for Wired, said succinctly that perhaps science fiction authors have missed the mark when it came to envisioning the city of the future, and that rather than being a glittering metropolis of glass, metal, and marble as smooth as a pannacotta, it will look an awful lot more like an enormous sculpture garden."
-via Good News Network, May 15, 2024
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lizzyiii · 4 months ago
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Rōva Mandia
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pairing | aemond targaryen x sister!reader
word count | 7.1k words
summary | no one has ever loved aemond as fiercely as his beloved older sister. in return, aemond honors the vow he made to you in his youth.
tags | (18+MDNI!) SMUT. unprotected sex, p in v, oral (f), tiddy suckin', lactating kink, targaryen incest, reader is described to have auburn hair and lilac eyes (that's all), very very soft aemond, tooth rotting fluff at the end.
a/n | you know when you just randomly maladaptive dream entire storylines. this was one of them.
likes, comments, reblogs are always appreciated ✨
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You were the firstborn child of King Viserys Targaryen and Queen Alicent Hightower, yet you drifted in the shadows of memory like a wisp of smoke. Your presence often eclipsed by the bold brilliance of your elder half-sister Rhaenyra, or merely the existence of your younger brother, Aegon. Yet, you never truly minded.
In the year 107 AC, on a night heavy with anticipation, the young Queen Alicent Hightower cradled the weight of her impending pregnancy. She had endured anxiety and dread throughout her pregnancy, her every waking moment tinged with the consuming fear that the fate of her marriage—and of House Hightower—hinged solely on her ability to provide King Viserys with a trueborn son. Yet, as fate would have it, the child that emerged from her womb was not the hoped-for heir but a daughter.
When you were born, the moment felt like a betrayal. Alicent, still young and with deep-seated insecurities, could barely bring herself to lay eyes upon the newborn. The girl, scarcely fifteen years of age, cringed at the sight of her own flesh and blood. What stung the deepest was your hair, a rich auburn hue that betrayed your Targaryen lineage. The only remnant of your noble bloodline was found in the child’s striking lilac eyes.
Each time the queen gazed at her daughter, a cascade of shame washed over her, intertwining with a deep self-loathing for how she could harbor such sentiments towards an innocent babe. Yet, Alicent felt a cruel twist of self-loathing rise within her, her heart heavy with despair as she struggled to accept the sight of you, a precious life she was unsure she could embrace.
Just a year later, however, Alicent finally brought forth Aegon, a true prince, heartily welcomed into the world as the firstborn son of King Viserys. With the birth of Aegon, a new dawn broke in the halls of the Red Keep, overshadowing your existence, casting you into the recesses of memory.
A joyful spirit, you moved through the world with ease. Sleep came effortlessly, as did your feeding time; you were a balm to your septas and caretakers, never troubling them with cries or demands. In the halls of the Keep, you were fondly known as the Realm’s Jewel, a title that shimmered like sunlight on water.
Yet, for a girl of merely five summers, there was an oddity to your existence—the way your father and your mother rarely sought your company or cast their eyes in your direction. Your youthful heart struggled to grasp the currents of neglect that flowed through the air, as the King seemed to have all but forgotten you and the Queen wore a mask of shame with every fleeting glance at you.
Still, when nestled amid your younger siblings, you found a sanctuary of joy. Aegon, though just four, was a whirlwind of energy and laughter, his playful spirit infusing warmth into your days. Helaena, your sweet baby sister, was quiet, perhaps too quiet for one so small, and yet her beauty was a radiant comfort to you.
Your mother, Queen Alicent, was on the cusp of bringing forth another child. To your youthful mind, this was the extent of your knowledge, as imparted by the ever-watchful Septa Emery who accompanied you. The thought of a new sibling filled your heart with a joyous anticipation that seemed to dance within your chest.
"Septa Emery," you interjected with a voice that was soft yet insistent, "has Mama had the babe yet?"
The Septa turned to you, her lips curving into a gentle smile, a reflection of her amusement at your eagerness. "I believe she has, my dear princess."
A gasp escaped your lips, bubbling forth in delight, and you leaped to your feet. "Can we see her? Please, may we?"
Septa Emery paused, a flicker of hesitation crossing her face as she regarded the earnestness shining in your eyes. Her voice, though laced with an air of formality, held a hint of affection. "I am uncertain, my princess. It may not be the proper time..."
But you pressed on, your pleas tumbling forth in a torrent of childlike sincerity. "Please, just for a moment! Then we shall return at once! I promise!"
After a drawn-out moment of contemplation, during which you could see the battle of duty and affection warring within her, Septa Emery sighed, her resolve crumbling. "Very well, let us go, Princess."
A smile erupted across your face, the kind that radiated pure joy, and in that instant, you were off—your feet barely kissing the ground as you raced from your solar. Septa Emery followed in your wake, her steps hurried yet careful, endeavoring to keep pace with your youthful exuberance as you dashed toward the birthing chambers.
You offered a quick, respectful curtsy to the guard stationed at the door, earning a small chuckle of amusement in return as he nodded and swung the heavy door open. You slipped into the room, your heart racing as your gaze landed on your mother, Alicent, who appeared weary and drenched in beads of sweat.
Following her weary eyes, you spotted your father standing at the center of the chamber, cradling a small bundle swathed in soft linen. A gasp escaped your lips, the sound a mixture of surprise and joy as you hurried to his side, eagerness bubbling within you.
“Father, may I see, please?” you asked, tugging excitedly at the hem of his tunic.
“My darling, be gentle with your father,” Alicent said with a scolding look, her voice tinged with exhaustion. At her words, you sheepishly withdrew your hand, though your excitement remained constant.
Viserys chuckled warmly, his eyes twinkling as he looked down at you. “Calm yourself, Alicent. She merely wishes to meet her new brother.”
A wide smile broke across your face upon learning that it was a boy. With a tender motion, Viserys lowered his arms, revealing the tiny face of your new brother. You leaned closer, your heart swelling with wonder.
"What is his name?" you asked, your voice a soft whisper filled with awe as you gazed at the small figure.
“Aemond,” the King replied quietly, an approving smile gracing his lips as he looked at the bundle with pride. “Aemond will do nicely.”
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Aemond Targaryen struggled to recall the days of his infancy, memories shrouded in the mists of time. The solitary shard of clarity that pierced through his mind was the profound grief that accompanied the failure of his dragon egg to hatch, a sentiment that lingered like a shadow, filled with sorrow and disappointment. Pleasurable memories from his youth were rare as dragon's gold, yet the few he clung to were always linked to you.
His older sister, radiant as the sun, with a warm smile that graced her lips whenever she cast her gaze upon him. You never ridiculed him or taunted him for lacking a dragon of his own; rather, it was you who offered him solace. The first time he soared through the skies upon a dragon's back, it was your magnificent purple beast, Aegarax, that carried him aloft.
He recalled the fleeting moments when the weight of training and the useless lessons at the Dragonpit would lift from his shoulders. During those precious respites, he sought you out, drawn like a moth to a shimmering flame. Often, you would be found in the company of Helaena and your kind Septa, ever eager to absorb knowledge. Yet, there were those cherished times when you chose to spend your hours alongside him, wandering through the fragrant gardens or nestled in the library. There, you would ask him to read, his heart swelling with joy at the opportunity to please you.
Yet, a constant sense of unworthiness gnawed at him. If he ever hoped to be deemed worthy of your love, he felt he must embody the essence of a true Targaryen—a feat he believed could only be accomplished through claiming a dragon of his own. Thus, on one fateful day, he dared to enter the Dragonpit, almost succumbing to the searing flames of Dreamfyre. Shortly thereafter, a White Cloak hastily whisked him away to his mother, where he braced for her ire. Yet, to his astonishment, amidst a stern scolding, he found unexpected comfort in her embrace—an offering that was never given freely.
After cleaning his ashen skin, Aemond sought you out, yearning for your presence to soothe his troubled heart. It felt like an eternity as he navigated the many corners of the keep—the library, the gardens, and the courtyard—yet you remained elusive. Just as the sun dipped below the horizon, painting the sky in hues of orange and pink, he finally discovered you in your chambers.
Without a moment's hesitation, he pushed open the door and slipped inside, finding you gracefully at work on the chaise, your fingers deftly weaving threads into intricate patterns. You were a breathtaking vision, embodying grace and beauty. In Aemond’s eyes, no other woman could rival you; with your bouncy auburn locks framing your face and your wide lilac eyes sparkling with warmth, you were perfection itself in his young gaze.
Suddenly aware of his presence, your lilac eyes widened in surprise, quickly softening into a gentle smile. “I didn’t hear you come in, Lēkia,” you said, your voice a soothing balm to his troubled spirit.
Aemond maintained a stoic facade, yet you recognized the telltale signs of turmoil he tried to conceal. Setting your embroidery aside, you rose and approached him, concern etched on your soft features. “What’s wrong?”
He bit his lip, fighting against the tide of tears that threatened to spill from a heart burdened by inadequacy. With a sudden rush, he wrapped his arms around you, burying his head against your soft stomach, the familiar comfort of your embrace drawing away the weight of his struggles. You enveloped him in your warmth, holding him close.
“What ails you, my sweet?” you asked softly, your voice gentle as you cradled him within your warmth.
In a muffled tone, he whispered something into your midsection, prompting you to hum thoughtfully. You gently withdrew from your embrace, seeking to meet his gaze. "Please, speak to me," you urged, your eyes searching his.
"I... I attempted to claim a dragon within the Dragonpit," he confessed, his voice barely above a whisper as he averted your lilac gaze.
“Aemond,” you breathed, a soft sigh escaping with your words. He continued to gaze elsewhere, so you delicately entwined your fingers with his, leading him toward the luxurious chaise. “Come, sit.”
For a moment, you gazed at him tenderly, while you settled beside him, you brushed aside the silvery strands that shrouded his face, your touch light and affectionate. “You will have a dragon, Aemond. It flows through your bloodline, just as it does with every Targaryen.”
“But when?” he replied, his voice tinged with desperation and despair as his sad gaze finally met yours, shimmering with unfulfilled longing.
"I cannot say when, but the day will come," you assured him, caressing his cheek with a resolve you wished to impart. "In the meantime, you are always welcome to ride Aegarax with me. He enjoys your company as much as I do."
A flicker of relief sparked within Aemond, a small smile breaking the solemnity of his features. “One day, I shall marry you, Mandia,” he declared, his tone earnest.
You let out a light laugh—a melodious sound akin to a sweet harp, which soothed his troubled spirit. "Oh, really?"
He pouted at your playful response, brow furrowing with the weight of his intentions. "You think I jest, but I assure you, I will."
Meeting his earnest gaze with a warm smile, you nodded in playful affirmation. "Very well, Valonqar. We shall see."
In the gentle silence that followed, the two of you simply enjoyed the comfort of each other's presence. Aemond cast his gaze toward the window, observing the encroaching darkness that swallowed the sky. With a soft glimmer of hope in his brilliant violet eyes, he turned back to you, asking quietly, “May I stay here tonight?”
Your response was a tender smile only reserved for him, a sweet beacon that quickened his heart. “Of course, Aemond.”
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His sister’s words rang with an undeniable truth. In time, Aemond did indeed lay claim to a dragon—not just any dragon, but Vhagar herself, the Queen of Dragons, the largest creature to ever soar the skies of Westeros. Yet, claiming such a majestic beast came at a grievous cost; he sacrificed an eye in the process. At first, he boasted that the price was worth it, but upon returning to the gilded halls of King's Landing, the true weight of his loss bore down on him.
Aemond found himself faced with the daunting challenge of relearning the world around him. He had to master the art of reading anew, to walk with the steadiness that had once come naturally, and to wield a sword with the same grace as before. Each endeavor was a trial, a relentless drain on his youthful body and spirit. Yet, through the trials of his recovery, you, his beloved elder sister, remained steadfast by his side, offering unwavering support and encouragement as he navigated this painful journey of transformation.
Until, all too suddenly, you weren't.
He entered your solar, seeking the solace of your presence, only to be met with the voices of your grandsire and mother. Concealed from their gaze, he peeked through the door, his heart heavy, and caught a glimpse of you standing by the window. Your arms were wrapped around yourself, as if trying to shield your heart from the world beyond.
"What was his name again?" your voice, laced with a softness that belied your inner turmoil, floated through the air, causing Aemond's brow to furrow in concern at the sorrow woven into your words.
"Thaddeus Rowan, Lord of Goldengrove," his mother replied, and Aemond felt a flicker of confusion as he noticed her wide, imploring eyes fixed upon you, as though she were silently pleading with you.
You nodded gently, your gaze lost in the sprawling landscape beyond, "Would I be able to bring Aegarax with me?"
"I daresay Goldengrove would welcome your dragon's protection with open arms, granddaughter," Otto declared, his eyes sharp and calculating as they scrutinized every nuance of your demeanor, awaiting your reaction with a predator’s patience.
A tumult of emotions roiled within Aemond’s chest, though he could hardly fathom why. A longing to comfort you surged, even as your back remained turned. At last, you responded, your voice resolute yet laced with vulnerability, "Then I shall fulfill my duty as a princess of the realm."
A spark of satisfaction flared in Otto’s expression. "I am glad to hear it, granddaughter," he affirmed, a tone of finality settling into his words.
Yet Alicent lingered, her gaze still fixed upon you, her eyes a tapestry of sadness and shame. She reached out a hand, a gesture of motherly affection, but in a moment of hesitation, withdrew before she could bridge the distance between you. With a shared understanding, she and Otto exchanged a nod before departing your solar. Aemond pressed himself behind a grand pillar, concealed from their view as his heart raced.
He knew he couldn’t linger long in the facade of concealment. After a moment's hesitation, he stepped into his sister's solar. Your back was turned to him, and as he drew nearer, he announced his presence with a caution, “Mandia.”
Startled, you flinched at the sound of his voice, swiftly raising your hands to your face—a gesture of self-protection. Only then did Aemond catch a glimpse of the tears streaming down your cheeks, slivers of silver glimmering in the waning light. His brows knitted together in concern as he advanced, but your dismissed his worry with a bittersweet laugh, “Lēkia. I fear you have caught me in a most untimely moment.”
He longed to comfort you, to wipe away your grief, yet an insatiable curiosity compelled him to press on gently, “Why were mother and grandsire speaking of Goldengrove?”
You cast him a scolding glance, brow raised, your slight smile faltering as you continued to dab at your damp cheeks, “It is considered rude to eavesdrop.”
“I do not understand what is happening,” he continued, urgency creeping into his voice. Deep down, however, he felt the ominous truth threatening to crush him.
With a heavy heart, you met Aemond’s gaze directly, your big lilac eyes filled with sorrow and reluctant acceptance. “I am betrothed to Lord Thaddeus Rowan of Goldengrove.”
His world shattered around him; the pain radiating from his chest was more excruciating than the loss of his eye. “What? No. You cannot.”
“It is not my choice, Aemond,” you replied, shaking your head in defeat, the shimmer of hope fading from your countenance.
“You are a Targaryen!” Aemond nearly shouted, his voice a crescendo of desperation. “He is unworthy of you.”
“It matters not,” you whispered softly, the finality of your words echoing in the stillness of the chamber.
Deep down, Aemond clung desperately to the hope that this was but a nightmare from which he would awaken. The truth, however, was a crueler torment than any physical wound. Breath came to him in ragged gasps, as if all the air had been stolen from his lungs, leaving him to struggle against a tide of despair.
“I think Aegarax will take nicely to The Reach," lost in your own turmoil, you failed to notice the torment that mirrored your own within Aemond’s piercing gaze. Instead, you murmured to yourself, perhaps seeking solace amidst the tempest of your emotions, "Yes, he will like it very much.”
And soon, the fates would conspire against them both. Just after Aegon and Helaena exchanged their vows, you would be sent away to the Reach—a gilded cage from which Aemond would not see you for six long years. Yet even in that time apart, his heart remained tethered to yours, longing for the touch of his lost sun amidst the shadows of his world.
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It was done.
Aemond savored the sweet taste of victory. Aegon, his pitiful brother, lay incapacitated, the remnants of his power reduced to whispers, his body marred by burns that etched a grim testament to Aemond's fury. Aemond had dismissed his mother, Queen Alicent, from the Small Council, casting aside any vestige of her influence. Now, he stood unchallenged as Prince Regent, the shadow of his ambition stretching across the realm.
With resolute determination, he summoned Ser Criston Cole and commanded the Lord of Casterly Rock to march forth from the west, their forces destined to converge upon the foreboding shadows of Harrenhal. Aemond would join them at the opportune moment, ready to solidify his claim and quench the fires of dissent.
Though Aegon was silenced and the realm lay at his feet, one yearning gnawed at Aemond’s heart—a singular desire that eclipsed all else. He had longed for a figure who transcended mere ambition, a presence that had haunted his dreams since early childhood. As the sun dipped below the horizon, surrendering the sky to twilight, a raven arrived with a missive to his council from The Reach.
The missive bore grim tidings: Lord Thaddeus Rowan had perished in battle, and his brother Thoren had ascended to the title of Lord of Goldengrove, swearing fealty to Rhaenyra Targaryen. Rage bubbled within him as he recalled the moment his mother had all but surrendered you—his beloved sister—into the arms of that faded, middle-aged lord.
Images of you flooded his mind—your laughter echoing off the stone walls of your ancestral home, your smile a beacon in the dreariness of courtly life. Aemond felt the fire of desire ignite within him. The time had come; he would reclaim what fate had stolen.
It struck him as odd that, despite news of your firstborn being a daughter, you had recently given birth to a second child. Goldengrove, a jewel in the Reach, should rightfully have been entrusted to you, yet it now rested, unjustly, in the grip of Thoren Rowan.
But the thought that consumed Aemond was not one of territorial politics. No, it throbbed with the pulse of a more personal victory: your husband lay dead. At last, he could claim you as his own, severing the chains that bound you to another.
As soon as the first light of dawn kissed the horizon, Aemond resolved to pay a visit to Thoren Rowan. He would make the traitor pay for his disloyalty to the crown, and yet it was the promise of rekindling the bond with you that stoked the flames of his ambition.
In truth, Aemond had not found a moment's respite, his restless mind weaving visions of your long-anticipated reunion. As dawn broke over the horizon, shimmering rays of light filtering through the castle, he adorned himself in his finest garb, meticulously chosen for this momentous occasion. With a determined heart, he mounted Vhagar, ready to embark on his journey to the Reach.
The journey to Goldengrove was one of anticipation and fury. Hours slipped by, and at long last, Aemond beheld the looming silhouette of the castle. Vhagar’s terrifying wings overshadowed the stone walls, casting a foreboding shadow over the realm. The sounds of alarm bells rang out like wails of despair, mingling with the frightened cries of its inhabitants, as his arrival heralded both dread and a reckoning.
As Vhagar touched down, Aemond swiftly rounded up the Rowan men, making them kneel before him. Thoren Rowan, trembling and desperate, pleaded for mercy in the face of certain doom. Although the moment summoned an eager anticipation within him, Aemond felt a flicker of disappointment—he had hoped to catch a glimpse of you upon his arrival, yet you remained elusive, lost within the sprawling estate of Goldengrove.
Just as he prepared to utter the command that would unleash Vhagar's fiery wrath upon the trembling men, his gaze was drawn to a figure advancing through the smoke and chaos. Time seemed to stall as he recognized you, and his breath hitched in his throat.
You appeared as though a radiant goddess had graced the earth, clad in a gown of shimmering white and gold that caught the fading light. Your auburn locks, intricately braided, framed your face perfectly. Aemond studied you intently, noting that six years had graced you with maturity; the gentle roundness of your cheeks had given way to a more defined beauty, and your figure had blossomed into becoming more full, heralding your entrance into womanhood.
"What is this commotion?" you inquired, a frown tugging at your lips as you regarded Aemond, dismissing the row of quaking men at your feet with a mere glance.
Thoran Rowan, breath escaping him in a heavy sigh of relief, turned to you with palpable gratitude. “Good sister, finally! You must put an end to this madness.”
You turned to Thoren, tilting your head thoughtfully, your expression inscrutable. After a moment, you replied, “I shall call my brother off, but only on one condition, Thoren.”
Aemond listened intently, the gleam in his eye revealing no discontent with your words, while Thoran’s expression shifted to one of desperate anticipation. “Anything,” he affirmed, his voice barely above a whisper.
“My daughter shall inherit Goldengrove when she comes of age and ascend as its Lady,” you declared, unwavering and resolute, maintaining your composure in the face of any opposition.
“Sister!” Thoren's face contorted in disbelief. “She is a girl; It goes against tradition.”
You studied Thoran with a cold gaze, your shoulders rising in a nonchalant shrug. “Then I cannot help you. Without a male of the Rowan line, my daughter stands as the only viable heir to Goldengrove.”
“No, sister, I beg of you!” Thoren and the other men around him begged, their voices rising in a cacophony of panic.
But your expression turned frostbitten, and you regarded the men with a chilling finality. "And do not presume I have forgotten the vile rumors you spread about my children's legitimacy."
Aemond observed you with admiration, respect swelling within him as you seized control of the situation. The moment your eyes locked with his, he understood the silent command, the signal to act. Clearing his throat, he commanded, “Dracarys.”
In response, Vhagar unleashed a torrent of fire, roaring with fury as the flames enveloped the Rowan men, their terrified shrieks echoing through the vast fields of The Reach, and erasing the male line of House Rowan from existence.
As the smoke began to dissipate and the flames waned, you remained, an ethereal figure standing amidst the ash and remnants of destruction. A sweet smile graced your lips—a memory from his childhood, vivid and cherished, resurfacing in his mind like a long-lost song.
With a magnetic pull, Aemond moved towards you as if drawn by the siren call of your presence, oblivious to the world crumbling around him. You stood resolute, a beacon of strength and beauty. Finally, as he reached you, your delicate hand brushed against his scarred cheek, an intimate gesture that forced him to close his eye and lean into your tender touch. “I was wondering when you’d come for me, Lēkia,” you said softly, your voice like a gentle breeze amidst the ashes.
His heart swelled, and he leaned forward, placing a delicate kiss upon your palm. “You were expecting me,” he replied, his tone laced with wonder.
“Of course,” you replied with a teasing smile, the light in your eyes igniting a warmth within him that he thought was long gone.
With a deliberate slowness, you entwined your fingers with his and led him toward the opulent halls of Goldengrove’s palace, each step drew him deeper into the heart of the estate, much like a sailor lured by the enchanting call of a siren echoing from the depths of the sea.
The servants of Goldengrove shrank back at the sight of the One-Eyed Prince Regent, their expressions shifting to disbelief and dread as they recognized his formidable presence. Oblivious to their fear, you led him toward the sanctuary of your solar, a space filled with the warmth of flickering sunlight.
“Now, the question lingers: what shall you do now that you’ve arrived?” you purred softly, leaning against an intricately carved table, your heart quickening as Aemond advanced toward you, his movement both predatory and possessive.
“I think you know, Mandia,” he murmured, lowering his face until his forehead rested against yours, his breath warm and tantalizing against your lips. “How I have yearned for this moment.”
“What moment do you speak of?” you breathed, barely able to contain the electricity crackling in the air between you.
“To finally taste you,” he replied, his voice a husky whisper, before closing the distance between you and bringing his lips to yours in a fervent kiss that ignited a wildfire within his soul.
Your lips were as sweet as they appeared, and Aemond felt his hand tighten possessively around your figure, surrendering to the primal urges that consumed him. His fingers explored your soft curves, gripping you gently yet firmly, eliciting a soft moan from your lips—a sound he swiftly took as his masterful invitation.
Aemond plunged into the depths of your mouth with his tongue, that fierce pleasure driving him onward. He knew at once you had indulged in lemon cakes, the remnants of their sweetness lingering. His tongue danced about the cavern of your mouth, searching hungrily, like a ravenous beast giving in to instinct, as you, too, welcomed his explorations with eagerness and fervor, your tongues entwining in a passionate dance.
Your hands instinctively found their way around his neck, drawing him closer as his rough hands roamed your body, grasping and squeezing with an insatiable hunger. A soft gasp escaped your lips when Aemond lifted you effortlessly, placing you upon the polished surface of the nearby table. The kiss broke, leaving you breathless, your cheeks flushed with heat as your heart raced, “What do you intend to do to me, Lēkia?”
Aemond’s breath came in heavy bursts, fueled by the desire of his cock that throbbed against the confines of his tight leather trousers. As he lifted the hem of your gown, revealing the delicate curves of your thighs, he spoke with a husky intensity, “I have savored your lips, and now I yearn to taste your cunt.”
A wanton moan escaped your throat at his words, succumbing to the heady thrill of surrender. He wasted no time, bunched your gown at your hips, and with a swift motion, he tore away your smallclothes, leaving you exposed to his ravenous gaze. Aemond’s eye, a vivid violet, widened in awe as they beheld your glistening and wet form, a sight that drove his desire deeper, hardening his erection further as he prepared to claim what was rightfully his.
Mouthwatering at the sight, Aemond was unable to resist sticking his face closer and inhaling you and the sweetest ambrosia he’s ever smelt. He adjusted himself in between your legs, bending down in front of you as he placed his lips right on your gleaming pearl.
“Yes, Lēkia!” you screamed almost squealing in shock. Aemond moaned in return, rutting his hips against the table beneath you.. Not wasting any time, he began to lick you from bottom to top, never touching your pearl after that first lick. Your hands reached once more into his long silver hair and directed him where you needed him most. Following your instructions, he allowed you to guide him, as to know the best way to please you.
Giving in, he finally started nibbling at your pearl, causing you to jerk up into him, trying to get more pressure. Not needing your instructions anymore, Aemond started devouring your cunt, giving most of his attention to your pearl but licking at your hole too. You could feel your peak start to bubble up inside you, that rising feeling inside your stomach letting you know you weren’t going to last much longer.
“I’m so close,” you moaned out, and Aemond was quick to remove his face from your pearl and replace it with his fingers as he spoke. The cool touch of his fingers was a shock to your system, your body jerking involuntarily.
“You want to come, Mandia. Go on then, peak on your Valonqar's tongue.” He almost ordered, placing his mouth around your pearl once more and sucking hard. His words and the suction on your pearl had you releasing immediately. Bucking hard against his face, blindly reaching for his hands to hold onto as you gave into the pleasure and moaned out his name.
“Too much,” you muttered after you came down from your peak, attempting to push him away. Aemond gave one last kiss to your pearl before standing up, his face covered in your glistening wetness. Grabbing his face, you pulled him toward your lips to taste yourself. Both moaning out at the perversity of it all as Aemond took that opportunity to once again stick his tongue in your mouth. Bringing you in closer as he tried to devour you, seemingly content to stay like this forever.
Taking advantage of the distraction he had with your tongue, your hands caressed his leather-clad chest, drifting down to his trousers and finally finding his erect cock. Feeling his hard length straining through was enough to ignore everything and focus on the way your cunt once again tingled in excitement, as your legs came to wrap around him, pulling his cock closer to your cunt.
“Do you wish to fuck your Rõva Mandia?" Groaning he involuntarily bucked his hips, causing you to arch and moan into his neck. His head was resting against your neck as well, holding you close to him in a very intimate embrace as you rolled your hips.
“Please,” Aemond barely whispered. Reaching your hands down, you hastily untied his laces as you grabbed his covered cock, stroking him before guiding him to your wet slit. Aemond released a groan as he felt your throbbing, tight cunt around him. Neither of you moved getting used to the overwhelming sensations stirring inside.
The feelings were so intense he thought he was going to release from just feeling you wrapped around his cock like a vice. In an attempt to distract himself, he started peppering small kisses on your neck. When Aemond – at last – buried himself to the hilt, he pulled his lips from yours and stared down at your face.
"I never could have imagined it would feel this way,” Aemond said in a strained voice. You let out a sweet laugh and he groaned, your cunt fluttering around him. He reached his free hand down and circled your pearl, letting small bits of pleasure seep through you.
He pulled out, leaving only the tip in, before pushing his cock back inside you. His eye widened and his breath vanished. Admittedly, Aemond was doing everything in his power not to thrust into your tight cunt. You were squeezing the life out of him and he just wanted to ravish you. Yet, Aemond reminded himself, you were not some random whore, no, you were his beloved sister.
Aemond continued thrusting into you slowly, one thumb still dangling over your pearl, as he eyed you. He carefully gauged your reaction, measuring each sigh and whimper from your lips. He took great pride in seeing the pleasure trickling into your eyes as he rocked his cock into you.
“Aemond!” you moaned, your head falling back against the table. Your cunt tightened and wetness flooded around Aemond's cock. You moaned again, and Aemond knew you were ready. He grinned, manic and excited, and pushed inside of you a bit harder, a bit deeper, and you loved it.
“Yes, Lēkia, right there,” you moaned as he fucked into you a bit faster. You knew he was holding himself back and you were thankful for that. His thrusts were rough and hard, but he cradled you carefully. His nails bit into your thighs gently as he grabbed your legs, spreading you wider so he could get deeper.
Your brother brought you so much pleasure that you couldn’t think of any words other than his name. You babbled it, along with a few expletives, about how much you wanted his cock, how you needed him, and eventually, how badly you needed to release.
Aemond wasn’t far behind you. Your tight, wet cunt was Heaven to him. You were a gift that no others could compare to. He wanted to sink himself so deeply into your body that he could never find the way out.
Aemond's breath caught in his throat as he noticed a damp patch on the fabric that veiled your breasts, his desire igniting. You opened your lilac eyes to find his gaze locked onto your chest, fixated as he rhythmically thrust into you.
Summoning all your strength, you pulled away from Aemond, your hands trembling as you expertly undid the ties at the front of your bodice, lowering your dress and liberating your breasts for his eager gaze.
"Take what you need from your Rõva Mandia," you moaned softly. The moment those words left your lips, something shifted in Aemond. He immediately dipped down, descending upon one of your nipples, his lips enveloping the hardening peak, teeth grazing teasingly as if he yearned to savor you completely. When he began to suck, a low groan escaped him as the sweet essence of his sister filled his mouth. After a moment, he switched to the other nipple, lavishing equal attention as he continued to drink from you.
Aemond eventually pulled away from between her breasts, mouth glistening with saliva and a few escaped beads of milk; licking the remnants away. Aemond released one of your thighs and pinched your pearl. He rubbed it furiously, daring you to release. His eyes were wild as he stared down at you, beautiful, throaty groans escaping his body.
“Cum for me, Mandia. Cum all over my cock, Ñuha jorrāelagon,” Aemond grunted. He tapped your pearl quickly, and with a shout of his name, you came all over him. Your body writhed with pleasure as whiteness blinded you. His name fell from your lips like a seductive mantra, and as he heard you cry out for him, Aemond came inside of you. He filled you with his seed, pumping himself slowly inside of you, as if to fill you to the brim.
With a deep sigh of utter exhaustion, Aemond sank against your chest, cautious not to crush you beneath him as he sought comfort among the softness of your breasts, recovering from the passionate lovemaking you had just shared. You lovingly combed your fingers through his silken hair, each stroke a tender caress that echoed your affection.
After a lingering moment, Aemond raised his head, his violet gaze locking onto yours, as he captured your lips once more in a fervent kiss.
When he finally drew back, his breath warm against your mouth, he murmured, "You shall accompany me back to King's Landing and take your place as my Queen."
A small smile graced your lips as you cupped his face with your hand, your touch gentle yet deliberate. "As you wish, Lēkia," you replied, pausing thoughtfully before adding, "Now, do you wish to meet my daughters?”
Aemond could only respond with a broad grin at your words, paying no mind to his softening cock still inside you.
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As the echoes of your shared passion lingered in the air, you both took a moment to compose yourselves, the warmth of your reunion still glowing between you. You reached for Aemond's hand, and he clasped it eagerly, allowing you to guide him through the labyrinthine corridors adorned with intricate white stone.
Aemond's thoughts began to wander, drifting to your daughters—would their features reflect your beauty or the visage of your late husband? Perhaps a delicate blend of both? A pang of jealousy gnawed at him, a reminder that you would forever carry ties to a man who had once been a significant part of your life.
Yet, he swiftly reassured himself. He would cherish your daughters just as he cherished you. They were woven from your essence, and in his eyes, that already made them flawless. A gentle smile graced your lips as you led him into a sunroom, a sanctuary bathed in sunlight, where stained glass cast colorful patterns across the floor, and vivid bouquets of blossoms filled the air with sweet fragrance.
“Mama!” came the high-pitched voice of a little girl, breaking through Aemond’s reverie.
He looked down, a smile spreading across his face. But as his gaze fell upon the small figure before him, that smile faltered, his eye widening in surprise as he beheld a small girl with a cascade of silver hair—the complete counterpart of her mother’s rich auburn locks.
With gentle grace, you lowered yourself to scoop up the little one. Your daughter’s delicate silver locks were intricately woven into a braided crown, and she wore a regal purple gown that beautifully complemented her enchanting lilac eyes.
“Aemond, meet Elaena,” you introduced softly, your voice warm as your daughter peered up at him, a hint of shyness flickering across her face. “Elaena, this is your kepūs, Aemond.”
With a gentle nudge, you encouraged the girl to greet him, and she shyly waved her small hand from the safety of your embrace. Aemond’s heart softened at the sight, and a genuine smile broke across his features as he took Elaena’s tiny hand in his, pressing a soft kiss upon it. “Hello Elaena.”
Elaena stifled a soft giggle at Aemond's antics, her mirth spilling into the cozy air like sunlight filtering through the leaves. Just as you were about to respond to his playful tease, a plaintive cry shattered the tranquility that enveloped you. Turning your head, you carefully set Elaena down, and Aemond watched with rapt attention as you glided toward a nearby cradle, your smile radiating warmth as you leaned over the tiny bundle nestled there.
In that moment, Aemond understood that your babe had awoken to the sound of your voice, her cries a sweet summons for her mother’s embrace. He felt a surge of pride wash over him as you lifted your second daughter into your arms, her Targaryen silver hair gleaming like strands of moonlight.
With tender affection, you nuzzled the baby’s soft cheek, laughter bubbling forth as you said, “Has my little love finally awoken?” The baby responded with delighted coos, her tiny hands reaching out in eager recognition of her beloved Mama.
Aemond, entranced by the sight before him, felt a moment of stillness, the world around him fading into the background. Yet this reverie was soon interrupted by a gentle tug, pulling him back to reality. Glancing down, he found Elaena grasping the hem of his tunic, her arms reaching up to him, a beacon of innocence. A smile blossomed across his face as he swiftly bent down, cradling her in his arms. In an instant, she eagerly reached for his eye patch, prompting a chuckle to escape his lips at her curiosity.
With Elaena nestled securely against him, he approached you and the babbling babe, your brilliant smile illuminating the sun filled chamber. You gestured toward the child cradled in your arms. “This is Aelora,” you announced, your voice filled with pride.
Aelora babbled softly, her cherub face aglow with happiness as she settled back against you, content in her mother’s loving embrace. As Aemond stole a glance at you, with Elaena in his arms and Aelora wrapped in your tender care, a profound realization washed over him. Your daughters, with their shimmering silver tresses and purple gaze, could have been a perfect reflection of him.
In the tangled depths of his thoughts, it seemed as though you had fashioned a perfect little family just for him to claim. His two precious daughters and his beloved Rõva Mandia.
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a/n | in my head, her name is aelyri in tribute of alicent's mother, alerie florent.
headcannon: she named elaena after helaena.
another headcannon: after coming back to king's landing, she realised goldengrove was the upgrade.
mandia - sister
rõva mandia - big sister
valonqar - little brother
lēkia - brother
ñuha jorrāelagon - my love
kēpus - uncle
Goldengrove
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Aegarax
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diejager · 1 year ago
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Hiii,I really like your story about Ghost x bunny!reader.Can you please do moreee🥺🥺🥺💖🐰
Needy Bunny Cw: heat/mating cycle, breeding kink, rough sex, mating press, doggy style, unprotected sex, PinV, tell me if I missed any.
You clawed at the sheets, hips bucking back, rutting against the heated palm of his scarred and calloused hand, fingers filling you so well. Your bed smelled like him, something familiar you associated with comfort and safety, gorging on his rich and powerful scent. He smelled like blood and gunpowder, itching you sensitive nose, and the soft tone of something woody —an addictive bourbon and calm sandalwood.
You crooned softly, burying your face deeper into his many shirts, mask and blanket, all infused with his aged scent and sweat, masking you in his scent, drowning in the delicious smell of him. You were clouded by a primal need, to be bred and nurse little kits in your stomach, you didn’t have any sensible thought inside your head, all you wanted was to smell like Ghost and bear his kits by becoming his.
When thrown into the throes of your heat - vicious and unforgiving - you became dumb and needy, wandering the halls of the base for Ghost and pawing at him until he brought you to his room. The moment he closed and locked the door, you were naked and kneeling on his bed, face down on his pillow, drooling over the musky cloth and ass up, showing him how wet and needy you were, cunt winking and clit throbbing from the cool air in his room —it helped with the warmth you exhumed from your heat, body burning so much calories to sustain you during it.
You were deaf to Ghost’s degrading words, uncaring by how mean his words were or how rough he was, all that mattered was that he was using you, his fingers straight as they drove in, hitting your g-spot. Slick dripped from his wrist, your sweet cunt oozing it, transparent and salty fluid tasting sugary on his tongue, his mask rolled up his nose to press the flat of his tongue against your twitching nub, swirling around it wile he pumped you with three, thick fingers.
You whined when he pulled out his fingers, tongue pushing into your hole and slurping down your slick, swallowing your sweet cum in gulps. He drank up your little mewls, sound more like a cat than a bunny, his hand roved over your thighs and around the swell of your ass, spanked red from acting like a little whore in front of other men, and grabbed your snowball-like tail, harshly pulling on it to get a reaction out of you. You yipped loudly, back arching and trying to get out of his tight hold on your sensitive tail, the twitching ball stuck between his fingers even as he pressed the round head of his cock against your clenching hole, tip nudging your entrance —teasing you.
“Please-” you wailed, sobbing for relief you knew that only he could give you, something to fill you up and keep you full until this heat passed. “Ghost, please-”
He kept you still, one hand on your hip and the other still tugging at your tail, he drove in with a sharp snap, thrusting his whole length in one, rough go that had you keening, loud, whorish sounds slipping from your tongue as your eyes rolled back, walls squeezing him as you came. He was warm, cock snugly sitting inside of you, he was as heavy as he was thick, the girth covered in veins and the base in trimmed, musky hair.
He took a few experimental thrusts, rough and unsteady, before he bottomed out completely, heavy balls slapping your engorged clit. Ghost set deep and hard pace, his sculpted hips snapping against your sensitive ass, using his grip on you to hold the pace, plunging in, the leaky tip of his uncut cock slamming into your spongy cervix, veins scratching at your clenching walls, frenum piercings, three starting from the base up rubbing you deliciously.
With how high stung you were, body shuddering and cunt spamming with another upcoming climax, it didn’t take you long before you came a second time. Bursting with a cry, legs kicking and trembling beneath you, you bucked your hips against him, pushing him deeper into you. You were squirming so much so that he had to turn you over, manhandling you from your presented position to a mating press, bent in half with your legs hanging from his broad shoulders, taking him again and again - even as you came twice or thrice, coating him in your juice, his navel and balls wet down to his thighs - until he had his fill.
“You want a kit, is that it?” He growled, forearm pressing down on your throat without putting any lethal force, simply to hold you down, to keep you restrained to your nest, “Don’t worry, bunny, I’ll knock you up, yeah? Put a little rabbit in that cunt of yours, breed you nice and deep.”
Taglist: @sae1kie @yeoldedumbslut @tallmanlover @distracteddragoness @vxnilla-hxrddrugs @konigsblog @havoc973 @im-making-an-effort @daisychainsinknots @0alk0msan
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creamflix · 26 days ago
Text
HOW DO THEY GRIEVE? — featuring sukuna, choso, gojo, geto, nanami, toji content warnings: no reader gender/anatomy implied. implied reader death, heavy angst no comfort. established relationship. reader is a mortal in sukuna's part. mentions of murder in toji's part. they/them pronouns used for reader in gojo's part.
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the quiet haunted him most.
it wasn’t a noise, nor a cry, but the absence of it — a void left behind where your voice once existed, tugging at his mind like an insidious echo. sukuna sat still, his broad frame rigid against the edge of his throne, clawed fingers wrapped tightly around the curve of his jaw. he wasn’t one to cling, yet here he was, torn by shadows of something he couldn’t clutch tightly enough.
“pathetic,” he muttered to himself, the words bitter against his tongue. his voice cut through the silence, but it wasn’t yours. it would never be yours again.
there were moments, fleeting and infuriating, when he could almost remember you. a flash of a laugh — was it sharp? or soft? — your expression — smiling? or frowning? — your warmth, tangible yet distant, slipping through his memory like grains of sand. sukuna slammed his fist into the wooden armrest of his throne, splinters flying.
"damn you," he growled lowly, though he wasn’t sure if it was directed at himself or at you.
he knew this would happen. of course, it would. you were mortal. fleeting. time was never kind to mortals, and neither was he. what place did someone like you have in his world? he had convinced himself you’d be nothing more than a passing indulgence. but then you had dared to linger in ways no one else had, and sukuna, fool that he was, had allowed it.
he leaned forward, elbows on his knees, face buried in his hands. "what was it you used to call me?" his voice cracked — just slightly, a whisper against the still air. not king. not lord. no, you’d stripped him of those titles in private.
ryo.
the way you used to say his name — it hadn’t been reverent. not like others. you said it like it was yours, like he was yours.
but the sound was fading now, no matter how tightly he clung to it. sukuna’s fingers twitched against his temples, nails digging into his scalp. his crimson eyes burned, not with fury, but with a hollow ache.
“you dare slip away from me now?” his voice cracked in the empty room.
he stood abruptly, the motion nearly knocking the throne back. pacing, prowling, his footsteps thudded against the cold stone. his hands clenched and unclenched as though grasping for an answer.
“what was it —” he hissed, his tone a dangerous edge of desperation, “ — that made me let you in?” he paused mid-step, shoulders sagging under the weight of what he knew.
everything. everything about you.
he clenched his jaw, exhaling a breath that rattled with suppressed rage and sorrow. sukuna’s hand reached to his chest, curling around the fabric of his robe where his heart still stubbornly beat.
“if i ever hear your voice again…” he muttered, the words half-prayer, half-promise, “you won’t escape me a second time.”
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choso sat in the quiet of his apartment, the hum of the fridge filling the silence. his fingers ghosted over the countertop, tracing invisible patterns that led nowhere. on the table sat a piece of toast, untouched and cold, its edges curling from neglect.
he stared at it, a lump forming in his throat. the memory hit him like a wave, vivid and all-consuming.
"it's just toast, cho!" you had laughed, your voice bright and teasing. he could still see the crinkle of your eyes, the way you covered your mouth to stifle your giggles when he flinched at the toaster's pop.
his chest tightened. "just toast," he echoed to the empty room, his voice hollow.
but it wasn’t just toast. nothing was ever just anything with you. every moment, every mundane thing, had been infused with the light of your presence, leaving pieces of you scattered throughout his life like breadcrumbs.
the laundry machine buzzed faintly in the background, and he shut his eyes. another memory clawed its way forward, unbidden.
“choso! what are you doing?!” you’d yelled, pulling his arm away just as he reached into the spinning drum. “you’ll lose a hand doing that!”
“but it wasn’t —” he had started, confused, only to be cut off by your exasperated sigh.
“don’t. just… don’t.”
and yet, after scolding him, you’d taught him how to sort clothes, how to fold shirts, how to care for the things that mattered.
“you’ve got to take care of things, cho. take care of people, too,” you’d said, softer that time, as you’d brushed lint off his shoulder. “it’s what makes us human.”
human.
his hands balled into fists on the countertop. you had taught him what it meant to be human — how to live, how to feel, how to care. you taught him to look beyond himself, to see others as more than just moving parts in the chaos of life.
“be kind,” you’d told him once, standing at a crosswalk as you watched him glare at a group of kids. “help the ones who need it. give up your seat. hold the door. even when it’s hard, choose kindness.”
he had rolled his eyes back then, muttering something about how the world didn’t deserve it. but you had smiled, patient and unyielding.
“do it anyway.”
the toast sat there, forgotten, as choso stared into the distance. how could he forget you? when you were everywhere? in the hiss of the washing machine, the smell of burnt toast, the sharp pang of guilt when he didn’t offer his seat to someone in need.
you were a part of him now, woven into his bones, etched into his heart.
“how could i forget you?” he whispered, voice trembling as he sat down, head in his hands.
he couldn’t. even if he wanted to. you had made him human. and now, with you gone, he didn’t know how to be anything else.
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gojo satoru was a man of stories. he carried your memory in his words, carefully polished and tenderly spun, until they became legends that danced on the tongues of everyone he met.
"oh, y/n?" he'd grin, eyes glimmering like sunlight on fresh snow. "you should’ve seen the way they handled me. not many can keep up with this." he'd tap his temple, his grin softening.
he told them about how you made the best coffee in the mornings, even though you always claimed to hate the way he drowned it in sugar. how you made him laugh so hard that his infinity couldn’t protect him from doubling over. how your voice could cut through the chaos in his mind, grounding him in ways nothing else could.
you became a part of his stories, not just as someone he loved, but as someone who made him better. greater.
people listened with rapt attention, smiling at the way he spoke of you, as if you were still right there beside him. but when the crowds thinned, when the world grew quiet, and satoru was left with nothing but the weight of his own company, the facade cracked.
the apartment felt unbearably still, as if your absence was a tangible thing that pressed against him. he sat on the couch, elbows resting on his knees, head bowed. the usual sparkle in his eyes dulled to a glassy sheen.
his shoulders trembled first, a barely-there quiver that grew into a shudder as the first sob escaped his throat.
“damn it,” he choked out, his voice cracking as he pressed the heel of his palms into his eyes. “damn it, why’d you leave me with this?”
you were the strongest in ways he could never be. while he could manipulate the very fabric of space, you had wielded something far greater: love, compassion, humanity. things that made the unbearable weight of existence lighter, if only for a while.
"who’s gonna remember you when i’m gone?" he whispered into the empty room, voice breaking.
the thought gutted him. satoru lived for you now — not for his students, not for his title, not for his power. it was your memory that anchored him, the fear of losing even the smallest piece of you driving him to hold on tighter than ever.
“i can’t let that happen,” he muttered, fists clenching as fresh tears spilled down his cheeks. his breath came in sharp, uneven gasps. “i can’t let you disappear. not ever.”
so he stayed. fought. lived. not because he feared death — death had always been a fleeting thought to someone like him — but because without him, there would be no one left to carry your memory.
and if there was one thing gojo satoru would never let the universe take from him, it was you.
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suguru cursed the gods, cursed fate, and cursed you.
it was easier that way. easier to let the anger scorch him from the inside out than to face the gnawing emptiness that came with your absence. he sat in the ruins of what had once been a temple, the scent of charred wood and blood still lingering in the air. his knuckles ached from where he’d slammed his fists into the wall, and his throat burned from the string of expletives he’d spat at no one in particular.
“why couldn’t you just listen?” his voice was a harsh rasp, cracking as he spoke to the void. “why did you have to be so damn… stubborn?”
you were supposed to understand. supposed to see the world the way he did, to join him in tearing it apart so it could be rebuilt into something better. but you hadn’t.
you stood your ground, unwavering in your righteousness, and it had infuriated him. because for all his power, all his conviction, he couldn’t convince you.
“it’s your fault,” he muttered bitterly, running a hand through his tangled hair. “you and your… your goddamn ideals.”
but the words rang hollow, even to him.
because you were the only one who’d ever made him question himself. you were the only one who’d ever dared to stand in his way, not with malice, but with love.
“you think you’re better than this,” you had told him once, your voice calm but firm. “but you’re not. and i can’t follow you down this path, suguru.”
he hated you for that — for being right. for loving him enough to try and stop him. and for leaving him when he wouldn’t stop.
his fingers tightened into fists, nails biting into his palms. “damn you,” he whispered, though the words lacked the venom they once had.
he wondered, sometimes, if you thought about him as much as he thought about you. if you still believed in the version of him you’d once loved, or if that image had crumbled under the weight of his choices.
maybe, in another life, things were different. a life where there were no sides to choose, no lines to cross, no ideals to clash over. just the two of you.
he closed his eyes, leaning back against the cold stone wall. the anger was gone now, leaving behind only exhaustion and a hollow ache in his chest.
“what am i waiting for?” he asked aloud, his voice barely above a whisper.
there was no answer, just the crackling of dying embers and the distant howl of the wind. but still, he waited.
for you to come back. for the pain to stop. for something — anything — that would make it all make sense again.
and until then, he would curse. and grieve. and wait.
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toji didn’t know how to grieve.
his life had never made room for something as soft as sorrow. emotions, in his world, were a luxury — a liability he couldn’t afford. but now, in the absence of you, there was something gnawing at him, raw and unrelenting, that he couldn’t name.
he sat in the dim light of a dingy bar, nursing a half-empty glass of whiskey. the burn was familiar, but it didn’t distract him like it used to. his mind kept circling back to you, dragging him down into memories he couldn’t shake.
the way you used to fuss over his injuries, muttering curses at him for being reckless while your hands worked with tender precision. the way your laughter echoed, rich and warm, cutting through the cold veneer of his life. the way you’d touch his cheek, grounding him, reminding him he was more than the blade he carried.
and now? now there was nothing but silence.
“this one’s for you,” he muttered under his breath, finishing the glass in one harsh gulp before tossing a wad of bills on the counter.
it was always for you. every job, every gamble, every risk — your ghost lingered in every choice he made. toji didn’t bother questioning it; he couldn’t. the thought of you was the only thing keeping him moving, even if it came with a weight that threatened to crush him.
the alley was dark as he cornered his target, the blade in his hand gleaming faintly under the flickering streetlamp. the man whimpered, begging for mercy, but toji didn’t flinch. his movements were fluid, precise, and ruthless.
“don’t beg,” he growled, his voice low and cold. “this ain’t about you.”
and it wasn’t. not really. the man’s life had no meaning to him — just another pawn in the endless cycle of blood and violence. but the rage that fueled him? that was yours.
the blade struck, and with it came a flash of you — your smile, your voice, the warmth he could no longer reach. the man crumpled to the ground, lifeless, and toji stood over him, his chest heaving.
“still not enough,” he muttered, wiping the blade clean with a practiced motion.
it was never enough. no amount of blood could fill the void you left behind. but he kept going, each kill a hollow attempt to feel something other than this aching, unfamiliar emptiness.
toji leaned against the cold brick wall, the night air biting against his skin. he stared at his hands — steady, calloused, and stained.
“why’d you leave me with this, huh?” he muttered to the open air, his voice gruff but cracking at the edges. “you were the only thing that ever made sense.”
his hands clenched into fists, the blade trembling slightly in his grip. this is for you, he reminded himself, even if he didn’t know why. even if it didn’t bring you back.
he ached, and it hurt, but he didn’t know what to do with that pain. so he killed. and he killed. and every time, it was for you.
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nanami was a man of routines.
quiet, deliberate, purposeful routines.
he didn’t waver in them, not even after you were gone. if anything, they became his lifeline, a fragile thread tethering him to the semblance of normalcy he desperately clung to.
he set out two plates every night, one for him, one for you. it wasn’t a conscious decision at first; his hands simply moved on autopilot, muscle memory guiding him. but when he sat down to eat, staring at the empty plate across from him, the quiet would settle in — a heavy, suffocating kind of quiet that only existed in the absence of you.
your pillow remained fluffed on the bed, as if you’d be home any moment to claim your spot. sometimes he’d catch himself reaching out to brush a stray hair off it, only to remember it wasn’t yours — it never could be again.
and then there were the chips. that oily, utterly ridiculous brand you adored.
nanami didn’t even like snacks, much less those chips, but he found himself restocking them on every grocery run. he would walk past the aisle, hesitate, and then grab a bag, telling himself it was just habit.
but one day, curiosity — or maybe desperation — got the better of him. he opened the bag, the crinkle of plastic unnervingly loud in the stillness of the house. the scent hit him first, greasy and artificial, and he almost put the bag down.
“what on earth did you see in these?” he muttered under his breath before popping one in his mouth.
it was awful. salty, greasy, overwhelmingly artificial.
and he cried.
the chip barely registered as he sat down heavily, shoulders trembling as tears rolled down his face. it wasn’t the taste — it was everything else. the bag in his hands, the faint smell of your favorite flowers still lingering from the vase on the kitchen counter, the stupid chipped mug you refused to throw away because it was yours.
everything screamed you. your presence was embedded in every corner of the house, in every routine, every object, every space you had once occupied.
and nanami realized, in that moment, how deeply ingrained you were in his life. how even in your absence, you filled it in ways he couldn’t escape.
his fingers tightened around the bag as he let the tears come, quiet and unrelenting.
maybe it was okay to grieve.
maybe it was okay to hold onto the pieces of you that lingered, to let them anchor him in a world that felt so much colder now.
and as he wiped his face with the back of his hand, setting the bag aside, he thought — maybe, just maybe, it was okay to keep buying those ridiculous chips, even if they tasted like crap. because they were yours. and so, in some small, bittersweet way, they were his, too.
produced by creamflix on tumblr. all rights reserved. do not copy, steal, modify, repost. banners by cafekitsune — support your writers by liking and reblogging. ♡
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anantaru · 7 months ago
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synopsis. alhaitham catches you masturbating and just needs to help his princess out <3
cw. fingering, oral (fem! receiving), dirty talk, pet names used: princess, love, fem! reader
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a transient sound reverberates from right down the corridor where your bedroom was located at, the shrill tone forming into a more softer note later on, or a hazy whine, and then alhaitham hears the bed squeak and he knows exactly what was going on behind those closed doors of yours.
he won't lie to himself— he felt a thrill ring into the depths of his body, hitting his groin, yet he also felt a little confused as to why you wouldn't just tell him to take care of the problem.
when he catches you touching yourself, his eyes grow wide, his pants tight, he knows he should've went against his own need to open the door to your bedroom and catch you within the act, leave you to toy with your two fingers greedily stuffing your cunt while you repeatedly arch your back into your own hand, shamelessly as he can already tell you must be imagining him doing it to you— and at last, the scribe just couldn't resist aiding you, pleasing you and pulling your hand aside so it's his fingers making you scream his name.
"you should've just asked me princess, nicely though, or even beg," his cock heavily pounds against his boxers as he admires your flustered expression, "hey now, you know i wouldn't have refused to help you out there," as alhaitham's hot and bothered whispers infuse a sense of deep-rooted pride inside your belly, you could tell he was slightly confused, or even a little bitter? scrap that, he knows that his fingers do not have a single competitor, not even your own.
your legs easily spread beneath his heavy weight as he settles his muscular arm between your thighs, tapping at your soaked folds before sneakily pressing down on your hole, letting your cunt milk his finger inch by inch, reaching the knuckle, "or is this your way to get my attention, love?" he cannot stop himself from quirking a brow at you, displeasure installed in his nerves— should he be mad? are you toying with him? was this a little scheme for alhaitham to be extra rough now, in order for him to get it into your skull to never ever do this again when he's there, always waiting to touch you.
he cannot even fathom as to why you're touching yourself alone, humping a pillow even when he’s right there, you see? it doesn't make sense, you must be playing tricks on him— sloppy, wet schemes of making your pussy so wet for him, so soaked, in fact, he must taste it the moment he sinks another finger in, his lips already pressed down on your achy, little clit.
"don't you ever do this again," he slurps and sucks against the thin hood protecting your pearl as your toes curl at his possessiveness and the dark look in his eyes, your back arched and legs resting against his shoulders. alhaitham's hands cannot get off your body— your tits, your curves or your soft thighs, you're irresistible, already slicking him up with your arousal when he decides to fuck his fingers deeper and deeper and better and oh so fucking ethereal on every single movement.
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©2024 anantaru do not repost, copy, translate, modify
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mariasont · 7 months ago
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Ideas From a Book - A.H
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a/n: im writing what i want !!!!!!!!!!!!! i have a gun kink SUE ME !!! if you don't like it don't read it !!!!!!!
anyhow HAPPY READING
masterlist
₊˚ ✩°。⋆♡ ⋆˙⟡♡ ⋆˙⟡♡⋆。°✩˚₊‧
pairings: aaron hotchner x fem!reader
summary: in which hotch comes home to find you reading and finds out you have a gun kink
warnings: 18+ MDNI, a lot going on here yall idk, gun going in ur vag, reader loves smut she's just like me fr, gun kink!, dirty talk, established relationship, yada yada
wc: 2.3k
When Hotch returned home from work, the ritual he had was comforting in its predictability: shedding his coat and shoes, setting down his briefcase, and locking up his gun. Then, he'd find you, as he always did, nestled into the couch, book in hand. 
It was something he could count on, as reliable as the sun rising in the morning. Your bookshelf was a spectrum of genres--science fiction, poetry, mystery, historical, fantasy--name it, you've likely read it. Among these, he had noticed a trend--your favoritism for romance. It was fitting, as you've always been an ardent believer in fairytales and happy endings. It was a belief he intended to uphold, a fairytale ending he was set on creating for you. 
The book you held today had a cover he didn't recognize. He cleared his throat, announcing his arrival. Your eyes met his in an instant, and he was struck anew by just how pretty you are. Effortlessly so. He told you as much, though you seldom accepted the compliment. 
"Hi, handsome," you said, infusing your words with honey as you folded the corner of your page and laid the book aside. Spencer would scold you for that. "How was work?"
A shrug rolled off his shoulders, fingers working to loosen the tie that felt like a noose after a long day. Stepping further into the living room, he sighed, "Heavy with paperwork."
"That's no fun," you said, lips curving into a delicate pout. 
It was an invitation he couldn't ignore. Leaning in, his hands found your face, and as your lips met, you giggled, pulling back just enough to study his face, the harsh lines under his eyes, reading the fatigue on his features like a well-thumbed novel. 
"What are you reading?" he questioned, easing down next to you, the couch dipping to his weight. 
You dodged his eyes, fingers absently fidgeting with your earlobe as you gave him a half-smile, tilting the book just enough so he couldn't catch the title.  
"Just some romance book," you admitted, with a slight uptick in your voice. "Garcia recommended it."
He regarded you with a contemplative frown. Normally, a book you would have gone on for hours, detailing every character, plot twist, and subplot, dissecting its layers and intricacies in exhaustive detail. 
Aaron watched as you placed the book on the side table, movements deliberate. You positioned yourself across his lip, a seemingly innocent distraction. It almost worked. Your soft thighs sinking into his calloused hands, as if they were crafted just for him. He recognized your ploy, though, giving your leg a squeeze a little tighter than necessary. 
You leaned in, your breath tinged with the minty traces of your afternoon tea, a detail as intimate as any secret shared between lovers. He nipped at your lip, a gentle diversion, as his hand crept towards the book.
You wriggled in his hold, vying to get there first, but he was faster. Much faster at that, although you loved to challenge him on that. He secretly loved when you did. He loved you. 
"What are you doing?" Your voice was rising in a panicked pitch. You stretched your hand out, trying to reclaim it, but he kept it just beyond reach.
Aaron's arm formed a band around you, effectively pinning your arms to your torso while you writhed within his grasp. A groan was stifled in his throat. "Quit that."
You smiled, a hint of tease in the curve of your lips and stilled. You were acutely aware of the effect you had on him, and it was a feat achieved with little effort. 
"Why are you being so secretive about this?"
He nodded to the book. The cover was unassuming, black with a smattering of designs that sprawled across it. It looked like any other book you read.
"I'm not being secretive," you insisted, deliberately avoiding his probing gaze. "You're just being nosy."
"Oh, am I?" He couldn't help but laugh, nose crinkling as he dismissed the notion with a shake of his head.
You nodded, not saying anything in response. He thumbed through the book, opening it to a random page.
"Wait--," you pleaded, but his attention was already glued to the ink. You wrapped yourself around him, your face buried in the folds of his crisp dress shirt as you murmured into the fabric, "please don't."
His arm shifted from your waist to cradle the back of your neck. "Gasping at the cool metal of the gun running across my belly, I want him press it into my panties."
Your breath caught, warmth flooding your cheeks as you pressed your face deeper into his chest. "Aaron, stop."
But he didn't, of course, he was far too intrigued.
"Parting my legs, I roll into the metal. He runs it back and forth across my pussy, wetting it against the barrel to my entrance," He continued, wetting the pad of his thumb as he turned the page, eyes meeting yours. 
He cocked an eyebrow as if waiting for your response. You didn't give him one, huffing a sigh as you plucked the book from his hands and flung it onto the cushions of the couch.
"Are you...into this?" He articulated each word with deliberate slowness, as if navigating a minefield. "This is a little intense."
You groan, tucking your chin down to your chest as you fought against the tingling sensation clawing up your spine.
"I don't know." The words tumbled out in a murmur, a feeble shield against the embarrassment flooding your senses.
It was the truth. You didn't know. Ink on a page was a far cry from reality. Nonetheless, your recent daydreams were filled with images of Aaron with his gun. God, forbid you see him on duty.
He shifted you off his lap, and you felt the corners of your mouth turn downward involuntarily. You watched his retreating figure vanish down the hall, your thoughts racing at breakneck speed, gripped by the fear that you had scared him off, that this was his tipping point.
The welling tears were poised to fall, but they paused as he came back into view. Holding his gun.
Your breath halted, a knot forming in your throat as you clumsily rose to your knees on the couch, your eyes wide and transfixed on him.
You watched, more like ogled, as he methodically removed the magazine, opening the action and ejecting the cartridges of the gun, putting the safety into place. Your throat felt dry. His advance towards you was predatory, a slow march that rekindled a well-known flutter in your stomach.
"Aaron?"
He stepped in front of you, the firearm dangling loosely at his side. You gazed up at him, peering through the shelter of your lashes.
"Do you want me to fuck you with this?"
You knew you said you didn't know if this was something you were into, yet here you were, retracting every syllable. Suddenly so incredibly turned on it almost hurt.
You nodded vigorously, your enthusiasm outpacing your self-awareness.
The look he gave you was one you recognized instantly, eliciting yet another soft pout before you gave in. "Yes, please, Aaron."
"Good girl," he said, making your heart skip a beat as he pressed the nose of the gun into your chest, forcing you backward. "Always so good for me."
You nodded again, even though there was no need to, but you weren't really focused on his words. You were focused on the gun pressing into your body, imagining it pressed against your clit, up your pussy.
"You're sure, um," you managed, trying to catch your breath, pausing in the middle of your sentence to clear your throat, "that all the safety stuff is on?"
You sounded dumb, you were aware, but all intellectual thoughts were out the window.
He let out a deep chuckle, the sound sending another wave of desire straight to your core. "Yes, baby, all of the safety stuff is on."
"Okay, good."
He pressed his lips to yours, the gun still flush against your chest, now grazing your nipple as you arched into him.
He pulled back only enough to speak into your mouth. "What's your safe word?"
"Mercy."
He hummed in response, fingers threading through your hair as he pushed the barrel of the gun down your stomach. You froze, a subtle gap forming between your lips as your eyes remained locked on the motion.
He brought his mouth to your ear, nipping at the skin lightly as he pushed the metal further down your body, lifting the hem of your shirt with it. You gasped at the feeling, pulling your bottom lip through your teeth as you tried to hide just how affected you were.
"Do you trust me?"
"Yes." It was immediate. Without hesitation.
He kissed your lips, gentle and unhurried, as if he was savoring the sensation, like he thought I might crumble under too much pressure. He might be right.
"Take these off."
His gun pressed against the waistband of your shorts. You didn't waste a second, lifting your hips and shimmying out of the fabric. A sound of approval vibrated from his throat, his fingers entwining in your hair, gently drawing your face closer to his.
"Are you sure about this?"
A nod came naturally, followed by a yes breathed out like a prayer, as your eyes trailed down to in between your thighs where the gun was now sitting. 
"Aaron, I need it."
"Oh, you need it, huh?" He tsked his tongue, running the nose of the gun over your clothed heat. "I can tell."
You let out a sharp gasp, bucking your hips into the device as you met his eyes, willing him to keep going. You had never been more turned on in your life. His hand moved from your neck to the small of your waist, pinning you in place. With one hand. Fuck.
He laid the gun beside your hip on the couch in order to pull your panties off. You squirmed at the rush of cold air encompassing between your thighs. His eyes were glued to your pussy, tongue darting out to swipe across his lips.
"Christ sweetheart," he hissed, sliding one finger through your slit, showing you the moisture you had produced. "Needy girl."
"Aaron, please." You needed something inside of you.
He laughed, at your expense, but you didn't care, concentrated on his hand grabbing the Glock and repeating the action his finger just did.
You choked out a sound, stuttering against the touch. He in a merciful mood apparently, pushing the gun slowly into your sopping cunt. You were writhing against it, your mouth parted as you tried to get used to the foreign object.
"You okay?" He asked, pausing his motions, giving you a second to adjust.
You swallowed; gaze drawn down to where he was sliding the gun into you. You bit down on your lip hard enough to draw blood.
"Yes."
"You can take it," he said, but the way the firearm was stretching you made you unsure.
It wasn't the size necessarily, but the way the groves and magazine were cramming into you was making hold your breath, which him being him he noticed immediately.
His hand rested gently against the pouch of your stomach. "Breathe."
The pent-up breath escaped your lips, and he rewarded you by sinking the gun further into your pussy. You fingers wrapped around his biceps, the tips digging slightly into the constellation of freckled skin.
One final thrust and it was fully in you. You could feel every groove and contour of it, cunt clenching and unclenching at the sensation. 
"Look at you," he drawled, beginning to fuck you with it. It transcended the prose of any book, a sensation that no array of printed words could fully capture. "You like that?"
Nodding was your only recourse, mouth hanging pathetically open as you moaned and whined. You were in a daze-like state, every sound and motion involuntary.
"This is the Glock 17," he explained, thrusting the gun faster, causing you to tighten your hands around his neck, bringing him so close his words were melting into your skin. "It feeds from a staggered-column magazine that has a 17-round capacity. It sends 115 gr bullets downrange at about 1200 feet per second."
You could feel your arousal leaking to your thighs, coating his forearm in the process, but that would never stop him.
"This gun has taken the lives of nineteen unsubs."
You know this should make you coil away, that it should feel wrong somehow, but all you felt was that growing tightness in your core, your legs shaking, your chest rising and falling at a more rapid pace.
"You don't even care, do you? All you care about is getting yourself off." His chuckles wove through his words, and his motions didn't falter, intent of ushering you to your peak. "My dirty girl."
You were so close, the edges of the gun managing to hit every spot just right.
"Come on, honey."
Fuck. You let out another strangled gasp, way louder than intended as your back arched like a string of a bow, and then suddenly you released.
A prism of colors exploded behind your squeezed eyes. A collage of musical notes falling over your ears. Your whole body was being ignited as you gushed around the gun.
"Christ." His new favorite word as of late. He withdrew the weapon from you.
You let out a subdued hum, propping yourself on your elbows, your eyes lazily rising to meet his with a tender flutter.
"You're so pretty," he murmured, the compliment settling on you like dew on morning flowers. Your gaze caught the gun, now bathed in a liquid gloss, cradled in his hands.
"Oh my god," you said, hand covering your mouth.
He laughed softly, placing it on the coffee table before his lips brushed against yours, a soft and measured caress that belied his previous urgency.
"You might need a new one," you said sheepishly, heat creeping into your ears as he pressed another soft kiss to your cheek.
"Absolutely not," he murmured into your flushed skin. "It just became my gun of choice."
You were going to give him the best head of his life.
taglist: @hotchhner @khxna
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helioooss · 6 days ago
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back to december
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synopsis: after years of being together, jimin and y/n’s relationship starts to crack under the pressure of karina’s new-found world: fame.
w/c: 8.5k+
warnings: angst, swearing, this and that, not proofread
a/n: merry christmas
✧・゚: *✧・゚:*
the apartment door opened with a soft creak, letting in the sound of jingling keys and quiet footsteps. you looked up from where you sat, curled into the corner of the worn-out sofa, a book resting open in your lap. the faint hum of the world outside was replaced by silence as jimin stepped into the apartment.
her black hair, slightly damp with sweat, clung to her temples, and the oversized hoodie she wore looked three sizes too big. her shoulders slumped with exhaustion, but even through her tired eyes, a familiar spark of excitement flickered to life.
“you’re home late,” you said softly, a small smile tugging at your lips as you sat up straight, putting the book down on the coffee table.
she exhaled a breathy laugh as she moved toward you, collapsing onto the spot next to you with a heavy sigh. her body sank with yours onto the cushions as if they were the only things holding her together.
“baby,” she started, voice breathless yet glowing as her face beamed. “it’s happening.”
you frowned lightly, a mixture of confusion and curiosity dancing across your face. “what’s happening?”
she turned her head to look at you, a grin slowly spreading across her face. “the debut.”
your heart stilled for just a second, your mind needing a moment to catch up with her words.
“what?” you asked, almost as though you’d misheard — but you heard her right.
“i’m debuting!” she burst out, her hands flailing briefly before dropping back to her lap. her voice rose with that mix of disbelief and joy, like she was saying the words out loud to make them real. “it’s official. i’m going to debut in a group. with yizhuo, minjeong and aeri.”
the news struck you like a wave, one that carried a mixture of pride, excitement and something you couldn’t quite place — a faint flicker of anxiety.
“baby, that’s fucking incredible!” you threw your arms around her without thinking, and she let out a surprised laugh as you held her tightly. her body was warm and familiar, the scent of her floral shampoo lingering faintly — the smile broke across your face, legs tangled together and all.
her arms tightened around you for a moment before she pulled back just enough to look at you. her dark eyes softened. “i couldn’t have done it without you.”
“i told you it was only a matter of time,” you murmured into her shoulder, your voice muffled but steady. “it’s all you and your hard, baby. i just happen to be the lucky one cheering from the sidelines.”
“you’re always there, cheering me on, even when i doubt myself,” her eyes glimmered, showing adoration towards you.
“of course i am,” you replied simply. “i believe in you. i always have.”
her smile faltered for just a second, like she was overwhelmed by something unspoken. yet she sat up straighter, the energy returning to her. “i want to celebrate with you. i invited the girls over for dinner tomorrow — i hope you don’t mind.”
you nodded, feeling that familiar itch to do something for her. for all of them. “i’ll cook,” you offered without hesitation.
“you don’t have to —”
“i want to,” you cut in, smiling as you already made a mental note of the dishes you were going to cook. “it’s not every day my girlfriend debuts as a k-pop star. it has to be special.”
jimin’s face softened, her eyes lingering on you a little longer than usual. “you’re going to love them,” she said quietly. “and they’re going to love you.”
the next day passed in a blur of preparation. the apartment smelled like home — garlic, soy sauce, and ginger infused the air and the sizzle of meat on the stove echoed through the small space.
you’d been chopping, marinating, and stirring for hours, sleeves rolled up to your elbows and a soft hum of music playing in the background. cooking for people always gave you a sense of calm, as though each dish you prepared was a quiet offering of care.
when the knock came at the door, followed by the distinct sound of your girlfriend’s laugh, you wiped your hands on a towel and peeked around the kitchen doorway. a small, proud smile tugged at her lips as she caught your eye.
“welcome, welcome!” she said brightly as three girls spilled into the entryway, shedding coats and shoes.
their energy filled the apartment instantly — a mixture of excitement, nerves, and something unspoken that came with dreams finally taking shape.
“this place is so cute,” one of the girls said, her sharp features framed by black hair that brushed her shoulders. she was grinning brightly, her accent smooth but distinct. “you must be y/n? i’m aeri. or giselle, i guess.”
you smiled warmly, offering a small wave. “i’m y/n, nice to meet you all. i hope you’re all hungry!”
“oh, trust me, i’m starved,” the blonde beside her piped up, eyes sparkling. “all good things, i hope. i’m minjeong. they’re calling me winter now.”
“and i’m yizhuo,” the third girl said, giving you a small but bright smile. her energy felt calmer but no less vibrant. “ningning on stage.”
“stage names, huh?” you glanced at jimin teasingly. “what’s yours?”
her cheeks blushed faintly. “karina.”
“karina,” you repeated softly, testing the name. you smiled. “it suits you.”
the girls teased her relentlessly over your response, but she took it with that playful pride, her gaze lingering on you.
“you cooked for us?” yizhuo asked, peeking into the kitchen with curiosity.
“it’s nothing fancy,” you said, though you knew the spread was far from simple. “just a little something to celebrate.”
“you’re spoiling us already,” minjeong teased as she followed the others into the living room. “jimin, take notes, would you?”
“idiot,” she chuckled, shaking her head. “i look after you three enough.”
they filed into the living room, and soon enough, the dinner table was alive with chatter, the girls filling the small space with their voices, stories and questions.
jimin sat beside you, her eyes occasionally flickering your way. she looked more at ease than you’d seen her in weeks, even with the chaos.
“so, y/n,” aeri started, leaning forward with curiosity, “your girlfriend said you’re an artist. you have your own gallery, right?”
you nodded, surprised she even knew that much. “yeah; it’s a small space, but it’s mine.”
“that’s so cool,” minjeong added, her eyes wide. “what kind of art do you do?”
“a bit of everything,” you replied, feeling a faint heat creep up your neck. “portraits, landscapes, abstracts…i’ve always loved experimenting with textures and colours.”
“jimin proudly told us she was your muse,” yizhuo teased, her eyes sparkling mischievously.
the girl groaned softly beside you, burying her face in her hands. “ning.”
the girls erupted into laughter while you smiled faintly, looking at jimin’s flustered form. “she’s not wrong,” you shrugged, earning a few squeals from around the table. she peeked at you between her fingers, her cheeks dusted pink.
they fell into an easy conversation with you, despite their initial curiosity about who you were and how you fit into jimin’s life. they teased her endlessly — about her stage name, her habits, her tendency to practice endlessly, but they did so with a kind of deep affection that made your heart ache in the best way.
at one point, yizhuo turned to you once again, grinning mischievously. “so, how did you two meet?”
you glanced at jimin, who was already looking at you with that knowing smile. “we met at my gallery,” you said. “she walked in one day, acting like she was lost.”
“i was lost,” she interjected defensively, though her grin betrayed her amusement.
“sure you were,” you teased back, earning laughter from the table. “she stayed longer than most visitors, though. we got to talking. and she kept coming back.”
“for the art?” minjeong asked, wiggling her eyebrows.
“for her,” jimin admitted quietly, her voice almost drowned out by the noise.
the table quietened for a beat, and you felt your cheeks heat under their gazes.
“that’s so cute,” aeri declared, breaking the silence. “karina, the hopeless romantic. who would’ve thought?”
“she’s not as tough as she looks,” you joked, catching her eye. her expression softened, a quiet kind of gratitude lingering in her gaze.
jimin dropped her hands, her voice quieter now. “i’ve always been her biggest fan,” she said softly. “she just doesn’t know it.”
your heart fluttered in your chest, but you focused on scooping rice onto your plate, fighting the smile threatening to take over your face.
as dinner wound down, the conversation shifted to the industry itself. they talked about practice schedules, strict diets and the endless rehearsals that had led to this moment.
“it’s harder than people think,” aeri explained, leaning back in her chair. “we’re up at 6 in the morning most days and sometimes finish past midnight. and then we have to get up and do it all over again.”
“and don’t forget the pressure,” minjeong added. “from fans, the company, and even ourselves. it’s…a lot.”
you listened quietly, glancing at your girlfriend, who was staring down at her plate. something about the way she pressed her lips together tugged at you.
“you’ll all be amazing,” you said softly, cutting through the weight of the conversation. “it’s not easy, but you’re already doing something most people could only dream of. and… ou have each other. that’s what matters, right?”
they all smiled and jimin’s gaze finally lifted to meet yours. there was something unspoken in her expression — gratitude, perhaps, or pride.
“she’s right,” jimin said quietly. “we’ll make it. together.”
as the night drew to a close, you retreated to the kitchen to clean up despite their protests. jimin followed you eventually, leaning against the counter as you scrubbed dishes. the apartment behind her buzzed with the muffled sound of the girls talking and laughing.
“you were right,” you said softly. “i do love them.”
she smiled faintly, stepping closer. “and they love you.”
you turned off the tap and dried your hands before facing her, putting your hands on her waist. “i’m proud of you, you know.”
she placed her palms against your face, her gaze searching yours, and for a second, the world outside disappeared. “i’ll make you even prouder,” she promised. “you’ll see.”
she was always meant to shine. there was such a promise in her words that you believed her. with everything you had.
✧・゚: *✧・゚:*
aespa’s debut had been nothing short of a phenomenon. their first music video went viral overnight, their sleek, futuristic concept capturing millions. everyone fell in love with them, chanting their names in sold-out arenas and plastering their faces across glossy billboards.
the world had changed in just one year and karina had become its centre. their schedules stretched endlessly, a constant cycle of rehearsals, performances, and interviews.
you watched it all unfold from the sidelines.
it wasn’t a surprise. she had always been destined for this kind of success, but you never realised how much it would take from her — from both of you.
her phone calls to you grew shorter and texts came slower. ‘i love you’ turned into rushed goodbyes, the weight of her schedule pulling her further and further away. you understood. of course you did — this was the dream she had fought for.
understanding didn’t mean it didn’t hurt.
the fanmeet was packed, the sound of chatter and excitement vibrating through the venue. you stood in line with the rest of the fans, clutching your aespa album and a small envelope. your pulse thrummed faintly with nerves, though it wasn’t the first fanmeet you’d attended. you’d been to as many as you could manage, standing in the crowds like everyone else, cheering and waving your lightstick.
jimin — karina, you corrected yourself — had spotted you more than once during these events. sometimes, her gaze would linger a second too long, her smile softening at the corners but you never pushed for more.
you were just another face in the crowd. it stung sometimes.
“next!”
you stepped forward, and there they were, seated at the table, faces bright with smiles. giselle was first to see you as she grinned, eyes crinkling at the corners as she took your album. “hi!”
“hi,” you said, smiling back.
she glanced up, studying you for a second. “you look familiar,” she said, pen poised above the page. “have we seen you before?”
you blinked. “uh, maybe? i’ve been to a few fanmeets.”
“oh, a dedicated fan,” giselle teased, scribbling her signature across the page. “i like that.”
dickhead. you laughed softly before moving on to ningning, who beamed brightly as you approached.
“it’s you again!” she said, pointing at you with her marker.
your stomach dropped slightly. “again?”
“yeah! you’ve been to, like, every show, right? and didn’t you trend once for that fan chant video?”
your cheeks burned. “oh…um, yeah. i guess.”
“we appreciate it,” ningning said warmly, leaning forward slightly. “you’re one of those fans — the ones we know are always there.”
your heart clenched at that, but you managed a small smile.
winter was next. her gaze was more observant as you handed her the album. “you’ve got that stan twitter vibe,” she said bluntly, and you nearly choked on air.
“what?”
she smirked. “come on. the energy? the dedication? you’ve got a secret fan account somewhere, don’t you?”
“i…” you began, unable to stop your nervous laugh. “i don’t know what you’re talking about.”
her smirk widened knowingly as she handed you back the album. “sure you don’t.”
and then it was karina.
she looked up as you stepped forward, her face breaking into a smile that she tried to make look casual but didn’t quite succeed.
“hey,” she said softly, her voice almost lost under the hum of the venue.
“hi,” you replied, keeping your own voice light as you stared at your girlfriend.
“you’re here again,” she murmured as she took the album.
“i always am,” you said quietly, watching her sign her stage name: karina, in elegant loops.
her hand paused for just a second and then she passed the album back to you, her thumb brushing over your skin for a second. her eyes flickered up, searching yours.
“thanks for coming,” she said finally, her tone just a little too soft to be professional.
you swallowed the lump in your throat and nodded. “of course, always.”
the weeks bled into each other and your conversations with jimin really became less and less frequent. you would see her once a week, if you were lucky.
aespa had moved into a luxury apartment together months ago, but most of her old things were still here — left exactly as they had been, like ghosts of a quieter life. her old hoodie still hung on the back of the door, her favourite mug sat unused in the cupboard and you swore her perfume lingered around.
the thing that kept you afloat was constantly reminding yourself of what she’d fought for — how she had argued with her company to keep you, how she had sat across from you, holding the nda papers with shaking hands.
“i won’t lose you, y/n,” she’d whispered that day. “i’ll do whatever it takes.”
and she had.
now, the silence was the hardest part.
it was late afternoon when you arrived at their apartment, a small bag of groceries clutched tightly in your hands. the sleek, modern building seemed too pristine, like it belonged in a magazine, but it suited the: polished, untouchable, larger than life.
jimin wasn’t there. she’d left early that morning for solo activities. a photoshoot, you thought, though it was hard to keep track of her schedule these days. her texts had been brief that morning.
from: my love 🫶
leaving early today. the girls are home, though. they miss you. i miss you. i love you baby
sent 5:07 AM
it wasn’t much, but it was enough.
you stood at the door for a second, taking a deep breath before knocking. the door flew open, revealing yizhuo in an oversized hoodie and socks that looked like they belonged to a child. she grinned at you, eyes lighting up.
“y/n!” giselle’s voice echoed from the doorway, accompanied by the sound of excited footsteps. “is that you? what’s in the bag?”
you smiled, holding up a grocery bag full of ingredients as you slipped off your shoes. “you guys asked for kimchi jjigae, right?”
“oh my god, she came through again,” yizhuo cheered, rushing over to take the bag from your hands. “this is why we love you. well, one of the reasons.”
“don’t flatter me too much, ning,” you joked, nudging her playfully as she helped you into the luxury apartment’s sprawling kitchen. the place was sleek and spotless — completely different from the homey, cluttered flat you still shared with jimin’s belongings.
the other members were scattered around the living room, lounging across sofas like exhausted cats. minjeong, in an oversized hoodie and sweatpants, sat cross-legged on the carpet with a controller in her hands. she glanced up when she saw you.
“y/n!” her face lit up as she paused the game, throwing her hands up. “you’re here! i thought you abandoned us after how awkward that fanmeet was.”
you snorted as you set the groceries on the kitchen counter. “i can’t abandon you guys if you keep bribing me with compliments.”
“it works every time,” aeri said with a wink, trailing behind you. “i nearly slipped up the other day and was about to ask you if you could cook at home and feed us.”
“you’re just stupid like that sometimes,” you chuckled teasingly as, earning a slight push from her. you quickly got to work, tying your hair back and pulling out pots and pans from their neatly arranged cupboards.
while you prepped ingredients, aeri and yizhuo hovered around the kitchen like puppies begging for food.
“so,” aeri started, propping her elbows on the counter. “when are you moving in here officially? we might as well just claim you as aespa’s honorary fifth member at this point.”
you laughed softly, shaking your head as you chopped tofu. “i think you’ll have to run that past your managers.”
“nah, you’re already in,” yizhuo piped up, stealing a piece of green onion from the cutting board and dodging your swat. “jimin just doesn’t want to admit she’d lose her mind without you.”
at the mention of her, something in your chest twisted, but you masked it with a light smile. “you’re all dramatic. i’m sure she’d be fine.”
“don’t let her fool you,” aeri leaned closer with a cheeky grin. “she acts all cool and composed, but we’ve seen her mooning over you. ‘the love of my life is coming over? i’ll clean the living room!’ ‘my girlfriend likes this snack, we should keep some here.’ it’s adorable.”
“stop,” you said, your voice softening involuntarily, cheeks warming.
“she’s lucky, though,” minjeong said from the couch, still tapping idly on her controller. “no one else would put up with her constant brooding and perfectionism. we’d have kicked her out.”
you laughed at that, the weight in your chest lifting for just a moment. “well, someone’s got to keep her in check.”
“exactly,” aeri agreed, clapping her hands together. “and you feed us, which means you’re already way cooler than karina. no offence to our leader.
“all the offence please,” yizhuo teased under her breath, earning a set of laughter from minjeong.
minjeong finally stood up and leaned against the counter, watching you with a curious expression. “so, what’s up with jimin today? she’s doing something solo, right?”
you nodded, focusing on cutting tofu. “photoshoot, i think. she didn’t say much.”
“she never does,” she muttered, though her tone was light. “she’s so busy lately. we barely see her, and we live with her.”
“i know,” you said softly, more to yourself than to her.
the kitchen fell quiet for a moment. yizhuo and minjeong exchanged a quick look, but neither said anything.
“are we gossiping?” aeri teased, breaking the silence. “because i can tell you who’s been stealing my snacks again.”
“not me!” yizhuo shot back immediately.
“sure,” aeri deadpanned before turning to you. “smells amazing, y/n. i don’t know why karina ever let you out of her sight.”
“it’s not like that,” you said quickly, trying to keep your voice casual.
“no, seriously,” she added, crossing her arms. “you’re her soft spot. we’ve seen it.”
the words hung in the air for a moment, making your chest ache faintly. you’d always been her soft spot — her quiet space away from the noise. you wondered if that space was shrinking, if the demands of the world were slowly pushing you out.
by the time you finished cooking, the entire apartment smelled like garlic, simmering kimchi, and savoury broth. you set the bubbling pot of jjigae in the centre of the dining table, along with plates of rice and simple side dishes you’d thrown together on a whim.
“y/n, you’re a literal saint,” minjeong said, sliding into the seat closest to the pot. “this smells so good.”
“i swear you’re trying to ruin us,” aeri added, spooning herself a generous helping. “we’re going to start rejecting all the food the company gives us.”
“you’ll get me blacklisted if you keep saying that,” you teased, sitting down across from them.
“worth it,” yizhuo said through a mouthful of tofu.
it was easy to slip into conversations with them. between bites of stew and rice, they told you stories about their chaotic schedules — forgotten dance moves on live stages, accidentally matching outfits and how yizhuo almost fell asleep during a radio interview.
“fame’s not as glamorous as it looks, huh?” you mused after aeri recounted how she nearly tripped down a set of stage stairs.
“nope,” minjeong, resting her chin on her hand. “it’s exhausting. but when we’re on stage, it feels worth it.”
“still,” yizhuo added, looking at you, “i don’t know how you do it.”
you blinked. “do what?”
“deal with jimin’s schedule,” she said bluntly. “you guys don’t even get to see each other that much anymore, right?”
the air shifted slightly, the question hanging heavier than it should have. you forced a small smile, stirring the rice in your bowl. “we make it work,” you said quietly, trying to sound casual.
aeri glanced at you, a flicker of something like sympathy in her eyes. “she doesn’t shut up about how much she misses you, you know.”
“she’s just bad at showing it,” minjeong added with a shrug.
“really bad,” ningning agreed, earning a smack on the arm from aeri.
you chuckled softly, though it didn’t quite reach your eyes. “i know she’s busy. it’s her dream. i’m proud of her.”
“you’re good to her, y/n,” aeri tilted her head, her voice softer now. “she knows that. and honestly… she’s so lucky to have you.”
something about the way she said it tugged at you — like a quiet reassurance, but also a reminder. you nodded, offering her a small smile before focusing on your food. “well,” you said after a beat, “as long as you guys keep eating what i make, i guess i’ll stick around.”
“don’t need to ask me twice,” minjeong said instantly, earning a round of laughter.
after dinner, the girls collapsed onto the couch, groaning about how full they were while you tidied up the kitchen. you heard one of them flick on the tv, someone grumbling about someone else hogging the remote.
barely noticing the time, you were just finishing up when you felt arms loop around your waist from behind, a familiar chin resting on your shoulder.
“you didn’t tell me you were coming,” jimin murmured, her voice low and tired.
you paused, leaning into her touch slightly. “i wanted to surprise you.”
“you always do,” she said softly, her grip tightening.
you exhaled quietly, turning to look at her. her face was bare of makeup, her eyes slightly shadowed with exhaustion but she still looked like her.
“you okay?” you asked gently, brushing her hair back.
she nodded, though her gaze dropped slightly. “i missed you.”
“i’m right here,” you said softly, trying to smile.
her eyes flickered with something unspoken before the sounds of aeri shouting from the living room broke the moment.
“jimin! get out here! y/n’s our girlfriend now, so you’re being replaced by three beautiful women.”
jimin rolled her eyes, though a small smile tugged at her lips. “remind me why i brought them into my life?”
“because they’re good for you,” you murmured, nudging her.
“you’re better,” she replied quietly, almost too soft for you to hear.
you pulled her face, planting a soft kiss on her forehead. “are you still coming to my opening next week? mum and dad will be there.”
“i wouldn’t miss it for the world.”
and even though she pulled you into the living room with the others, her arm slung over your shoulder, you couldn’t shake the weight of her words.
i wouldn’t miss it for the world.
you hoped she meant it. because as you looked at her, laughing with the girls, you couldn’t help but feel how far away she seemed — even when she was right beside you.
✧・゚: *✧・゚:*
the hum of quiet conversation slowly faded as the last of your guests trickled out of the gallery. the evening had been a success — more than that, really. the walls were lined with paintings that had taken months of late nights and countless hours to finish, and people had loved them.
three had sold in the first hour and one was going to los angeles.
yet as you stood by the entrance, offering polite goodbyes, the warmth of the evening didn’t quite settle in your chest the way it should have.
“sweetheart, are you okay?”
you turned toward the familiar voice. your parents stood a few feet away, your mum’s coat draped over her arm while your dad shifted his glasses up the bridge of his nose.
smiling tightly, you tugged the sleeves of your shirt down as you shrugged. “of course, mum. it’s been a great night.”
your dad sighed, his eyes falling towards the nearest painting; a soft, abstract silhouette of a woman, bathed in streaks of light and shadow. “is jimin still coming?”
the question hit you harder than it should have. after all, you’d spent all evening glancing toward the door, hoping for a flash of black hair, hoping to see her slip in quietly, apologetically, but she never came.
you forced a casual tone. “she’s…working still. something ran late, i think. she’ll text me later.”
“she’s going to miss the entire night?” he asked, frowning slightly. “it’s your opening.”
“yeah, idols and their schedules,” you awkwardly rubbed your nape, chuckling. “it’s okay, dad, really.”
your mum gave you a knowing look, the kind only mothers could manage — one that said she saw straight through you. she reached out and gently squeezed your hand. “you’re always so understanding, darling. but don’t let her forget how important you are, too.”
“i’m fine, mum,” you reassured her, though the words felt hollow.
he nodded, clearly wanting to say something else but holding back. “we’re proud of you, kiddo. the show was incredible. you’ve really outdone yourself this time.”
“thanks dad,” you murmured, offering them a small smile. “i appreciate you two showing up, i know the drive was pain.”
“anything for you, sweetheart,” your mum pulled you into a hug, kissing your cheek goodbye. “come over for dinner when you’re free, okay? i miss you both.”
they gave you a final hug before heading out into the night, leaving you alone in the quiet of the gallery. you exhaled slowly, looking around at the space you’d poured yourself into.
the pieces were yours. each stroke, each colour a reflection of something you couldn’t quite put into words, but so many of them were her.
she was everywhere, woven into the canvas, immortalised in paint.
your phone buzzed, breaking the silence. you grabbed it quickly, hope rising in your chest and only for it to deflate as you saw the multiple names on your screen.
from: minjeonggg
your show looked amazing, y/n! karina told us about it. hope you’re celebrating 🫶 sorry we couldn’t be there today but i promiseeee i’ll see u this week
sent 11:31 PM
-
from: aeri-chan
ok miss popular, dinner’s on me. i’m cooking (please don’t let me)
so proud of your hard work <3
sent 11:40 PM
-
from: ningx2
i saw photos from a friend of mine who came to the openinggg, showed the girls if u don’t mind. they’re all so beautiful 🤩
sent 11:43 PM
-
you stared at the screen for a moment, your chest tightening — all but from your girlfriend as you swiped to your call log. no missed calls. no texts.
pressing her name, the phone rung in your ear as you paced the room. it rang once. twice. seven times. just as you were about to hang up, the line connected.
“hello?” her voice was tired, clipped in a way that instantly told you this was going to go poorly.
“hey,” you said, trying to keep your voice steady as you hesitated for a second. “are you still coming?”
“coming where?”
you paused, heart stopping. “the gallery show. my show, jimin. the one you promised you were show up to. in fact, mum and dad actually waited for you.
a beat of silence stretched between you.
“y/n, i told you i was busy tonight,” she muttered, a hint of frustration bleeding into her voice. “i had a shoot that ran over. it wasn’t like i could just leave.”
“i know you’re busy,” you replied softly, trying to keep your voice steady. “but this was important to me and i wanted you to be there, even just for a little while.”
“you think i don’t know that?” she shot back, her voice rising slightly. “i’m sorry, okay? i wanted to be there, but i can’t just drop everything for a gallery show.”
you flinched, her words striking deeper than she likely intended. “it wasn’t just a show. it was my work — a year’s worth of it.”
“and what do you think i’m doing?” she snapped suddenly. “you think i’m working this hard for nothing? i’m doing this for us. for our future.”
“i’m not asking for a future, i’m asking for now,” you replied, your voice catching at the edges. “you don’t even call anymore. you don’t text. i feel like i’m standing on the outside of your life, watching you move further and further away.”
“fuck y/n, stop,” she called out, sharper this time. “you’re making it sound like i’m doing this on purpose — like i don’t care. i care about you, you know that.”
“then why do i feel like i don’t have a place in your life anymore?” you asked in a quiet voice, trying to hold back your tears.
the silence that followed was deafening. you could hear her breathing faintly on the other end, uneven and tense. “i don’t have time for this,” she muttered, her voice cold.
“wait —“ you followed, desperation evident in your voice.
the line went dead.
you stared at your phone, your fingers still clutching it tightly. the words felt like they’d been ripped out of you, leaving you hollow. you wanted to apologise and tell her you weren’t angry — just hurt, but knowing jimin during arguments, all you could do was wait.
the next few days crawled by. she didn’t call, and you didn’t text her. every time your phone buzzed, you reached for it instinctively, only to feel that sting of disappointment when it wasn’t her.
you spent your hours in the gallery, moving through the motions — packing paintings, restocking supplies, tidying the studio, anything to keep your mind busy.
three days later, the doorbell above the gallery chimed and you looked up, surprised to see aeri and minjeong walking in, their faces bright with easy smiles.
“look what the cat brought in,” you said, trying to sound cheerful as you tucked a cloth into your pocket. “what are you two doing here?”
“we came to see your show properly,” aeri smiled. she glanced around the space, her eyes widening as she took in the paintings on the walls. “wow, these are amazing!”
minjeong wandered toward a painting near the window — a soft, abstract piece of two hands reaching for each other but not quite touching. “you’re really talented, you know that?”
“i appreciate it,” you replied, the words feeling hollow in your mouth.
awri paused, pointing to another painting; a woman sitting alone by a window, light spilling onto her face. “is this karina?” she asked softly.
you nodded, trying to keep your voice steady. “yeah.”
minjeong studied the piece for a moment before turning back to you. “she’s lucky to have someone who loves her like this, you’re so good to her.”
you chuckled, pressing your hands together. “i try.” they both stopped at another canvas, an abstract piece this time — gazes lingering on the soft blues and greys. “that one sold immediately for twenty thousand dollars. i was in the middle of packing it down.”
minjeong’s eyes widened. “holy shit, y/n. that’s insane. i’m glad we got to see it then!”
you smiled faintly, though the ache lingered. “thanks. i want to make something that matters, you know?”
“you already have,” aeri said firmly. “ning would’ve come too, but she got dragged into solo schedules today.”
your heart sank slightly, though you didn’t let it show. “it’s fine. i’m glad you guys came.”
“we wouldn’t miss it,” minjeong wrapped her arms around you. “your work deserves to be seen, y/n. don’t ever forget that.”
aeri kissed your cheek, letting out a laugh when the brim of her hat hit your face. “i’m sorry!”
“idiot,” you shook your head, smiling. “sorry to see you guys go.”
minjeong sighed. “we’re sorry too, we have a meeting with our director in half an hour.”
you bowed your head. “please send my regards to ning and jimin.”
after they left, the gallery fell quiet again, leaving you alone with your thoughts. you sank onto a small bench near the centre of the room, staring at the paintings surrounding you.
they were all pieces of her — fragments of moments, memories captured on canvas. her laughter in the kitchen as you danced around with flour on your hands, the way she’d lean her head on your shoulder when the world felt too heavy.
the way she’d whispered, “i’ll always be here.”
✧・゚: *✧・゚:*
it was november and the city was wrapped in the magic of the season. soft snowflakes drifted from the sky, blanketing the streets in white. shop windows glowed with warm lights, adorned with wreaths, tinsel and cheerful displays.
the world around you buzzed with a festive energy, but it felt distant; a joy you couldn’t quite reach.
jimin hadn’t spoken to you in over a week.
she told herself she was giving you space, letting things settle before she reached out but every passing day without hearing your voice made the ache in her chest grow heavier.
she missed you. horribly.
she missed the sound of your laughter, the way you always tilted your head when you were concentrating on a painting. she missed your voice, even the way you’d tease her about how serious she could be.
but what hurt most was the way you’d sounded during the argument: disappointed, like she’d let you down beyond repair and she shut you down.
her phone sat untouched on her bedside table, but she couldn’t bring herself to call you.
she told herself you were fine, that you always understood.
and then she found it: an old flyer tucked into her wallet, creased from months of being ignored.
free weekend art class: saturdays, 2-5 p.m.
without a second thought, she grabbed her hoodie and a coat, pulled a cap low over her face, and left the dorm.
when she arrived, the small studio sat quietly on the corner of the street. large windows stretched across the front, letting in subtle beams of warm afternoon sunlight. she stopped just outside, heart pounding in her chest as she looked in.
there you were.
you stood near the window, laughing with a group of students as you demonstrated something with your hands. you wore an old paint-streaked apron over your clothes, your hair messily tied back with strands falling loose around your face.
jimin froze, her chest tightening painfully at the sight of you.
you were so beautiful.
for a moment, she couldn’t tear her eyes away. your laugh carried faintly through the window, and she felt like someone had punched the air from her lungs.
you looked happy here, in your space — your world. one she hadn’t been a part of in far too long.
her hands trembled as she pushed open the studio door. the small bell above it jingled, startling you mid-sentence. your gaze flicked to the door, and when you saw her, your expression froze.
the soft smile on your face faltered, replaced by something unreadable.
“oh…hello, have a seat,” you said, your voice calm but distant. “the class finishes in an hour, sorry you missed most of it.”
the class turned briefly to look at her, then back to their work, unfazed. she stood awkwardly near the door, her cap pulled low, unsure of whether to move closer.
“i’m sorry,” she said quietly, though her voice barely carried over the hum of the room. “it’s okay, i’ll stay and watch for now.”
you stared at her for a beat before turning back to your students, forcing yourself to focus. “right, let’s keep going. we’re almost done for today.”
jimin stayed silent at the back of the studio, hands shoved deep into the pocket of her hoodie. she watched as you moved between easels, stopping to encourage your students with soft words and kind smiles.
“light strokes,” you were saying, guiding a young girl’s brush across the canvas. “you’re not fighting the paint, you’re moving with it, okay? let it flow.”
the girl nodded, grinning up at you. “like magic?”
you laughed softly, the sound carrying faintly through the glass. “exactly like magic.”
jimin’s heart clenched painfully. she’d forgotten what it was like to just watch you.
the way you moved between students, offering encouragement, helping them mix colours, or joking with them about how ‘happy accidents’ were just part of the process.
“mr. kim,” you said with a grin to one of your older students, “i know damn well you didn’t mean to paint a tree in the middle of your cityscape, but we’re rolling with it now.”
the man laughed heartily, shaking his head. “art is chaos, isn’t it?”
“exactly,” you replied with a wink.
as the class carried on, you felt her gaze on you. it was familiar, but you didn’t meet her eyes.
when the class ended, the students began packing up, thanking you as they grabbed their bags and coats. you busied yourself cleaning brushes and wiping down tables, pretending not to notice jimin still standing by the door.
eventually, the last student waved goodbye, and the doorbell chimed softly as it closed.
once the last student left, the room fell eerily quiet. you didn’t say anything at first, just continued gathering supplies, your back to her.
“y/n,” jimin said softly, taking a small step forward.
“did you enjoy the class?” your voice was polite, but there was no warmth in it.
she flinched at how distant you sounded. “i didn’t come here for the class.”
you finally turned to face her, arms crossed over your chest. your face was calm, but your eyes gave it away; hurt and guarded.
“then why did you come here, jimin?”
her throat tightened, her voice almost failing her. “because…because i missed you.”
you turned away, picking up brushes and placing them back into jars. “it took you over a fucking week to realise that?”
she flinched at the quiet sharpness in your words. “baby, i’m sorry. i —”
“don’t,” you said quickly, cutting her off. “don’t say anything if you don’t mean it.”
her face fell, guilt flashing across her features. “i know. i messed up. i…i wanted to come to the show, my love. i wanted to, but —”
“but you didn’t,” you said flatly, crossing your arms.
she flinched. “i know. i’m sorry.”
you shook your head, your voice quieter. “you’re always sorry, jimin, and it doesn’t change anything.”
for a moment, neither of you said anything.
“let me take you home,” she said suddenly, her voice breaking the silence. “just…please. let me come home. i want to talk. let me fix this.”
she looked terrible — tired. the bags under her eyes indicated that she’d been crying, the sight of her tugging your heartstrings.
you stared at her for a long moment before sighing softly. “fine.”
the drive to your shared apartment was quiet. jimin glanced at you occasionally, trying to make small talk, but you stared out the window, your expression unreadable.
when you got to your shared apartment, it felt strange walking in again, like she was intruding something she shouldn’t be a part of.
everything was still the same.
her old hoodie still hung on the back of the chair in the living room. her favourite mug; chipped at the rim, sat on the kitchen shelf. and piles of her shoes were still lined up neatly by the door.
she felt her throat close as she picked up the hoodie, fingers trembling. “you didn’t move anything,” she whispered.
you paused, turning to look at her. “of course it is.”
her voice cracked. “you didn’t…you didn’t throw anything out?”
“why would i?” you replied softly, setting your bag down on the table. “i was still hoping you’d come home one day.”
she sank onto the sofa, her head in her hands. her eyes burned, the weight of her guilt crashing over her all at once. she looked down at her lap, her shoulders trembling slightly.
you turned at the sound of a soft sob, stunned. “jimin?”
“y/n,” she looked up at, her voice breaking as tears streamed down her face. “i’m so sorry.”
you stared at her for a moment, surprised to see her like this.
“i’ve been so caught up in everything that i forgot,” she whispered, her voice choked. “i forgot what this…what you mean to me. i’ve been so afraid of losing everything that i ended up hurting the one person who’s always been there for me.”
you felt your own throat tighten as you watched her wipe her face with the sleeves of her hoodie, her tears unfiltered. she never cried — not like this.
slowly, you stepped toward her and sat down on the edge of the sofa beside her.
she reached for your hand, her fingers trembling as she gripped desperately, afraid that you’d pull away. “i don’t want to lose you. please…please don’t let me lose you.”
your heart clenched painfully, and you sat down beside her, letting her hold onto you like you were the only thing keeping her from falling apart.
“you just need to talk to me, my love,” you murmured, your voice soft but firm. “you can’t keep shutting me out. i need to know you still want this — still want us.”
“i do,” she whispered, tears still spilling down her cheeks. “more than anything.”
you sighed, leaning your head back against the sofa. “you’re home now.”
she nodded, squeezing your hand tighter. “i’ll do better. i swear.”
you looked at her then, seeing the sincerity in her tear-streaked face. she looked small, like the girl who used to curl up beside you in this very apartment, sharing dreams she never thought would come true.
she’d gotten so far.
✧・゚: *✧・゚:*
a month had passed and though jimin tried to make an effort, the space between you only seemed to grow. the list on her relentless schedule grew longer with each passing day — leaving no room for you. like always.
she started coming home more often, not to her luxury apartment, but home, to the apartment you both called yours.
sometimes she was too tired to say much, collapsing onto the couch while you worked on a new painting in the studio but her presence was enough.
“this is where you work your magic, huh?” she said one evening, peeking her head into the room.
you looked up from the canvas, smirking faintly as you tucked a brush behind your ear. “magic is a strong word, baby.”
“nah,” she murmured, crossing the room to press a kiss to your temple. “it’s magic to me.”
you didn’t respond, but you smiled softly as she wandered back out, her footsteps light as she disappeared into the bedroom.
she tried, she really did — but it even felt like the universe was just pulling you two apart. there were calls scattered throughout the day, sweet but fleeting texts that felt more like habit than genuine conversation.
practice went late. how’s your day?
just saw a dog that looks like the one that peed on you
goodnight. i love you!
the words still made your heart ache, but it was different now: almost routine. and on her rare days off, you no longer got a call asking if you wanted to spend time together. or if she could come home to you.
instead, you saw photos online; grainy shots on social media, taken at a distance but unmistakable — jimin out with other idols, at parties, smiling brightly in the dim glow of neon lights. you recognised the faces of her friends, ryujin and yeji among them and the aespa girls were always there too, which gave you some relief. but it still hurt.
you weren’t her person anymore. and you sat just right where she left you.
one evening, you were sitting at your parents’ kitchen table, a cup of tea warming your hands as your mum watched you carefully. your dad sat nearby, pretending to read a book but clearly listening to every word.
the quiet ache in your chest refused to let go as you tried to focus on the tv chatter.
it was your birthday.
and while your parents had gone out of their way to make it special, the absence of a single message from jimin loomed over you like a shadow.
“you’re quiet today,” she said gently, passing you a slice of bread.
you forced a smile, wrapping your hands around the mug. “just tired. it’s been a long week.”
your dad glanced up from his book, his brows furrowing. “you’re not supposed to be tired on your birthday. you’re supposed to be happy.”
“i am happy,” you said quickly, though your voice lacked conviction.
she gave you a knowing look, the kind that only mothers could master. “has she called yet?”
you hesitated, your throat tightening. “she’s busy.”
“busy?” he repeated, setting his book down with a soft thud. “too busy to call on your birthday?”
“dad, it’s not like that,” you said quietly, though the words felt hollow.
“and she doesn’t tell you anything anymore?” she asked gently, brow furrowed.
“not really,” you murmured, stirring your tea absently. “she calls, she texts but it’s…surface-level stuff. like she’s trying to keep me calm without really including me in her life.”
“you’ve been together for years, kiddo. have you told her how this makes you feel?”
“i’ve tried,” you said, voice small. “but she doesn’t hear me. it’s like…i’m shouting into a void and she’s not even there to listen.”
“y/n, love,” she began softly, reaching for your hand, “we’ve known jimin for years. we know she’s a good person, but even good people make mistakes, they can get lost.”
“she’s busy. her life has changed,” you replied, repeating the excuse you’d given yourself countless times.
he shook his head. “being busy doesn’t mean she can’t try. you deserve someone who makes you feel seen, y/n. we accept the love we think we deserve, and you —” he pointed at you gently. “deserve so much more than feeling invisible.”
you swallowed hard, the words hitting you square in the chest. “i love her,” you said softly. “but i don’t know if she loves me the same way anymore.”
your mum gave your hand a small squeeze. “then maybe it’s time you ask yourself whether love is enough to keep holding on.”
the words settled heavily in your chest, but you forced a small smile, not wanting to ruin the moment. “thank you, mum, dad. and thank you for this,” you gestured to the table, trying to shift the focus.
“we just want you to be happy, kiddo,” your dad said, squeezing your shoulder.
you returned to your apartment later that evening, the quiet space feeling colder than usual just like the season. you hadn’t heard from jimin all day —not a call, not a text. you tried to tell yourself it was fine, that she was busy with rehearsals or a schedule she couldn’t control. but as the hours dragged on, the ache in your chest grew heavier.
it was nearly midnight when your phone finally rang. your heart leapt as her name flashed on the screen, and for a moment, you hesitated. but you answered anyway.
“hey,” you said softly, trying to keep your voice steady.
“my love,” jimin’s voice came through the line, soft and warm. you could hear the faint hum of noise in the background — music, voices — before it quieted. “are you busy?”
you leaned back against the couch cushions, clutching the phone tighter. “no. just…relaxing. where are you?”
“still at the studio,” she said, her tone carrying that familiar exhaustion. “we’re running late again, but i just wanted to hear your voice.”
your chest ached at how sweet she sounded —soft, almost needy.
“you sound tired,” you murmured. “have you eaten?”
“not yet,” she admitted. “but i will. promise.”
you smiled faintly. “you always say that.”
“because you always ask,” she replied softly. “how was your day? tell me about it.”
you hesitated, surprised at how genuine she sounded as you swallowed the lump forming in your throat. “it was fine. quiet, mostly. i went to see my parents.”
she really forgot your birthday.
“how are they?” she asked quickly, her tone filled with genuine curiosity. “i miss them. did your dad make his lemon bread again?”
you managed a faint smile despite the ache in your chest. “yeah, he still calls it his signature recipe.”
she laughed softly, the sound tugging at your heart. “i wish i could’ve been there. your mum’s tea, your dad’s bread…i miss all of it. and them. and you.
your heart squeezed painfully at her words.
“they miss you too,” you mumbled quietly.
you heard faint shouting in the background — yizhuo’s voice calling, “is that y/n? let me say hi!”
“nope,” jimin said firmly, her voice playful but resolute. you heard shuffling, then a door slam shut. “i’m hiding in the bathroom. they’re trying to steal the phone.”
you couldn’t help but laugh. “you’re ridiculous.”
“you love me,” she teased softly.
“i do,” you admitted quietly, the words slipping out before you could stop them.
there was a beat of silence on her end before she whispered, “i love you too.”
you closed your eyes, holding the phone to your ear like it might pull her closer. “i miss you,” you added, forcing the words out before your emotions could betray you.
“i miss you more baby, i’ll be home soon,” she heaved a sigh. “i’ll get them to drop me off at our place if you don’t mind.”
our place — it sounded nice, but you don’t know if it held so much meaning anymore. the apartment was quiet, unbearably so. the only sound was the faint hum of the heater.
“baby?” her voice cut through the line, a set of knocks coming from her end. “are you still there or did you fall asleep? i have to go!”
“yes, sorry,” you sniffled. “i love you, see you at home.”
“love you too, bye,” she whispered; you heard shuffling, then the line went dead.
your eyes burned as tears spilled over, hot against your cheeks. you’d told yourself you wouldn’t cry tonight, but it was so hard to sit here, in the apartment that still held so many memories of her feeling like you were the only one left trying to hold onto them.
the thought echoed in your mind, relentless and cruel. no matter how much you tried to rationalise it: how busy she was, how hectic her life had become — it didn’t change the fact that she’d forgotten a day that once felt sacred between you.
the girl who used to light up at the sight of you, who’d once been your rock, that jimin felt like a ghost now, a memory fading further with each passing day.
you buried your face in your hands as the sobs came harder. you lifted your head up when you heard a buzz on the table, phone lighting up.
-
from minjeonggg
happy birthday, y/n. sorry it’s so late, only just coming home from visiting my family in busan. sorry i couldn’t spend your special day with you and the girls but i hope rina spoilt you!! <3
sent 11:47 PM
-
well, at least she remembered.
part of you still hoped she’d walk through the door, even if it was late and sweep you into her arms, apologising for everything — for forgetting your birthday, for the distance, for the way she’d made you feel so small.
for everything.
but the hours dragged on and the door never opened.
you curled up on the couch, the blanket pulled tightly around you like a shield, and cried until your throat was raw and your chest ached.
you loved jimin.
but tonight, as the silence stretched on and your tears soaked the pillow beneath you, it felt like that love wasn’t enough to fill the growing void she’d left in her wake.
✧・゚: *✧・゚:*
a few days later, you didn’t hear from karina and neither did she hear from you. you were tired of chasing after her love, of being neglected. instead, her friends were the only ones making an effort to get you out of the apartment.
-
from: aeri-chan
why are you ignoring me :( do you not like me :( i thought we were friends :( can you come over :(
sent 10:15 AM
-
from: minjeonggg
missing u y/n, come over today? jiminnie isn’t here but i’m sure you love us enough to cook us italian right
sent 10:16 AM
-
to: minjeonggg
you only love my cooking, not me. but i guess i love u all enough
sent 10:17 AM
-
from: ningx2
????? hello come over
sent 10:23 AM
-
from: aeri-chan
management is starving us !! why only reply to minjeong >:( ok you don’t care about me
sent 10:25 AM
-
the apartment felt both familiar and foreign when you stepped inside an hour later. outside was freezing cold and their heater being cranked up was so inviting.
“y/n!” aeri practically shouted when she opened the door, pulling you into a hug before you could even step inside. “about fucking time.”
“we thought you forgot about us,” minjeong said from her spot on the couch, where she was curled up with a blanket.
“she can’t forget us,” yizhuo added, peeking her head around the corner from the kitchen. “we haunt her dreams.”
you laughed softly, slipping off your shoes. “you’re all ridiculous.”
“and you love us,” aeri replied smugly, grabbing your hand to pull you toward the kitchen. “come on. we’re starving, and we saw the grocery bags.
“where is karina?” you asked, feeling your throat tighten. you were hoping she’d be here…and maybe talk to you.
she raised an eyebrow. “karina who now? since when did you ever call her that? and she’s out with ryujin and yeji right now.”
since i stopped knowing her, you thought. and yet another free schedule she refused to spend time with you on.
“just in case i slip up and call her baby in front of everyone,” you mumbled. gotta get used to it.”
“tea or coffee, y/n?” minjeong smiled as she took your coat in her hand. “we have matcha too.”
“coffee, please,” you nodded as you placed the bags on the counter. “at least someone in this room cares about me.”
“yah!” aeri slapped your shoulder playfully. “ning, get our weapon.”
and before you knew it, minjeong covered your eyes with her palms. “don’t even try to wiggle out of here — ning, hurry up!”
you could hear giggling and whispering as minjeong slowly uncovered your vision, revealing a beautiful white box wrapped in satin just sitting on the counter.
“you didn’t think we’d forget, did you?” aeri said with a smirk, gesturing for you to sit.
“we’ve been busy, but we didn’t want to let it go uncelebrated,” minjeong added, smiling softly.
your throat tightened as you looked at them, their bright smiles and genuine excitement pulling at your heart.
“guys, you didn’t have to do this,” you said quietly, sitting down as yizhuo plopped down beside you.
“we wanted to,” aeri nudged the box closer to you. “now open it before ningning explodes.”
“hey!” the girl protested, though she grinned just as widely.
you carefully untied the ribbon, lifting the lid to reveal a collection of beautifully wrapped items. your eyes widened as you started pulling them out one by one.
“you guys…”
first, a sleek cartier box holding a stunning watch, its elegant design making your breath catch.
“that’s from all of us,” minjeong smiled shyly. “we wanted you to have something special.”
“it was mostly her idea, you’re always asking for the time but you never have the watch for it,” yizhuo revealed, making minjeong slap her playfully.
next, a stack of cookbooks, each one carefully chosen. “because we know you’re basically our personal chef,” aeri teased.
then a set of high-quality art supplies — paints, brushes and sketchbooks, each item carefully selected. “ning picked those out,” minjeong mentioned, pointing at her proudly. “she insisted on the fancy stuff.”
“nothing but the best for our artist,” yizhuo said with a grin.
but it was the last item that made your breath hitch — a photo album.
your hands trembled slightly as you opened it, flipping through pages filled with photos of you and jimin, some candid, some posed. moments you didn’t even know had been captured — her laughing as you cooked together, the two of you curled up on the couch, a blurry shot of her kissing your cheek while you looked embarrassed.
“we’ve been taking these over the years,” aeri said softly. “thought you might like them all in one place.”
you pressed a hand to your mouth as tears welled up in your eyes.
“y/n, are you crying?” minjeong asked, leaning closer, her voice full of concern.
“no,” you mumbled, wiping at your cheeks with a laugh. “okay, maybe.”
“we just wanted you to know how much we love you,” minjeong muttered, sitting down on the other side of you. “you’ve always been there for us— even when you didn’t have to be. you deserve to feel special.”
you closed the album carefully, holding it to your chest as fresh tears fell. “thank you. i…i don’t even know what to say. this is a lot.”
“nothing’s too much for you,” aeri said firmly.
“besides, jimin’s probably already spoiled you, right?” yizhuo added with a grin. “what did she get you?”
the question hit you like a punch to the stomach, your mind going blank as you scrambled for an answer. “uh,” you began, your voice trembling slightly. “karina…she got me this really expensive ring. it’s beautiful.”
aeri raised an eyebrow. “a ring? that’s a big deal.”
“yeah,” you said quickly, forcing a smile. “it’s…a promise ring.”
your heart twisted painfully as the lie left your lips.
minjeong clapped her hands together, grinning. “of course she did. she’s always been extra when it comes to you.”
you nodded, your smile wavering as you clutched the photo album tighter.
-
the conversation moved on, but the weight of your words lingered in your chest. you knew you shouldn’t have lied, but admitting the truth, that karina had completely forgotten your birthday felt too raw, too painful.
the apartment buzzed with warmth and noise as you worked in the kitchen, sleeves pushed up and hands busy slicing tomatoes and kneading fresh dough for pasta. aeri hovered nearby, stealing bites of cheese while yizhuo pestered you with questions about how to properly season garlic bread.
“you don’t get to criticise when you burn instant noodles,” you teased, flicking flour in her direction.
“that was one time,” yizhuo shot back, dodging the flour.
minjeong wandered in at one point, sneaking a spoonful of the sauce and groaning dramatically. “y/n, you’re a genius. we don’t deserve you.”
“you really don’t,” you replied with a faint smile.
“careful,” aeri teased, leaning on the counter. “if you cook like this all the time, we might just keep you here.”
“it’s tempting,” you admitted softly, but the words carried a weight you didn’t intend.
they didn’t press further.
“my parents visited your gallery, by the way,” yizhuo added.
“what?” you asked, surprised. “when? abd why didn’t you tell me?”
“like two days ago, they said it was like stepping into a dream,” yizhuo explained, her voice full of admiration. “they loved it, y/n. i swear they were ready to redecorate their whole house.”
you smiled, your chest swelling with pride. “that’s really sweet of them — i wish i was there to meet them.”
“you’re so talented,” minjeong added from her seat at the table. “jimin’s lucky. she gets to be your muse.”
the mention of karina made you pause for a split second, but you forced yourself to smile. “thanks, minjeongie.”
dinner was a lively affair, the girls laughing and talking over each other as they devoured the dishes you’d made. it felt good to be here, to see them again, even if a quiet part of you wondered why your own girlfriend hadn’t said anything about inviting you over herself.
it was minjeong who dropped the bombshell halfway through dinner.
“we have a world tour coming up,” she said casually, twirling spaghetti onto her fork.
you froze. “the what?”
aeri shot her a look, as if to say ‘why’d you say that?’ but the girl didn’t seem to notice.
“the tour,” she repeated, looking at you. “it starts in a couple of months. did jimin not…tell you?”
you felt your chest tighten, though you kept your voice even. “no. she didn’t.”
the table fell quiet for a beat. yizhuo fidgeted with her fork, avoiding your gaze, while aeri sighed softly. “she’s probably just waiting for the right time to tell you,” she said, though it sounded more like an excuse.
“it’s fine,” you replied with a small, forced smile. “it’s a huge opportunity. i’m proud of you guys.”
and you were. but beneath the pride was a sharp ache — an understanding that this would mean months of not seeing her, of waiting for calls that might never come.
and what might be the end of your relationship.
after dinner, you were curled up on the sofa, leaning against the back of it while aeri and yizhuo picked a movie to watch and minjeong finished up the dishes.
“you mean you have terrible taste,” yizhuo shot back at something aeri said, crossing her arms as she stood near the couch.
“please tell them notting hill is a masterpiece,” yizhuo pleaded, looking at you for reassurance.
“it is,” you said, laughing softly. “julia roberts is iconic.”
“see!” she yelled triumphantly, flopping onto the couch.
as they began another argument about snacks and who got control of the remote, you really settled onto the couch, letting the warmth of their presence ease some of the tension that had been building in your chest for days.
the argument over the movie ended in a win for yizhuo and the group eventually settled into the couch with bowls of popcorn. the soft glow of the television illuminated the room as notting hill began, the familiar soundtrack filling the air.
minjeong sat down beside you, the couch sinking further. “sorry,” she pursed her lips.
you playfully rolled your eyes, groaning. “i was already comfortable!���
your phone sat untouched on the coffee table, the screen dark. you couldn’t stop glancing at it, hoping it would light up with her name.
but it didn’t.
all the lights were turned off, the tv illuminating most of the apartment. it was late when the door finally opened, and karina stumbled in.
the first thing you noticed was the smell —alcohol, faint but unmistakable. she looked slightly disheveled, her hair loose and falling into her eyes, her cheeks flushed as if she’d been out drinking all night.
“y/n?” her voice was sharp, her brows furrowing as she stopped in her tracks. “what are you doing here?”
the room fell silent. yizhuo paused the movie, her gaze flicking between the two of you.
“we invited her,” minjeong said, standing up and crossing her arms. “she didn’t just show up, jimin.”
“are you drunk?” aeri asked concerningly, stepping closer to your girlfriend. “maybe sit down before you say something stupid.”
karina shot her a glare before turning back to you. “why didn’t you tell me you were coming?”
you frowned, your chest tightening at her tone. “because i didn’t think i needed to, karina.”
“you should have,” she snapped, frustration clear in her voice.
“okay, that’s enough,” aeri said, stepping between you two. “y/n didn’t do anything wrong. we invited her because we missed her.”
“can i have some privacy?” karina asked sharply, her gaze hardening.
aeri exchanged a look with yizhuo before sighing heavily. “fine. but don’t make this worse, jimin. and minjeong is another world you have to tackle.”
she and ningning retreated into the kitchen, but minjeong stayed rooted in place, her arms crossed as she watched karina carefully.
“minjeong,” she warned, her voice low.
“don’t start with me,” she replied, not moving an inch.
“i mean it,” she muttered, her tone sharper now. “go.”
minjeong looked at you, her gaze softening slightly. “are you okay?”
you nodded faintly, though your chest ached. “it’s fine. i’ll be fine.”
reluctantly, minjeong followed the others into the kitchen, leaving you and karina alone in the living room.
“what’s wrong with you?” you asked softly, your voice trembling. “why are you acting like this? i haven’t even seen you in days.”
she sighed heavily, running a hand through her hair as she slumped onto the arm of the couch. “i just…i didn’t expect you to be here, okay?”
“why does it matter?” you shot back, your frustration bubbling to the surface. “you’re the one who hasn’t been around. what’s wrong with me spending time with people who actually want to see me?”
her face softened slightly, her gaze dropping to the floor. “it’s not that…i just wish you’d told me.”
“why? so you could avoid me too?” you asked bitterly, the words spilling out before you could stop them.
her head snapped up, her eyes narrowing. “that’s not fair.”
“what’s not fair is me finding out about your world tour from them,” you said, your voice rising.
she froze, her eyes widening slightly.
“you didn’t even tell me,” you continued, your voice trembling. “you’ve had all this time, and you couldn’t say a word? do you know how that feels?”
“i was going to tell you,” she said defensively, though her voice lacked conviction.
“when, jimin?” you asked, stepping closer. “when it was too late for me to even process it? when you were already gone?”
she sighed heavily, pinching the bridge of her nose. “can we not do this here?”
“why not? because it’s inconvenient for you?” you shot back.
“because it’s not their business,” she snapped, gesturing toward the kitchen. “come with me. we’ll talk in my room.”
you hesitated, your chest tightening.
“y/n,” she said more softly this time, her voice steady but firm. “please. just come with me.”
you glanced toward the kitchen, where aeri and yizhup were clearly trying to eavesdrop. minjeong stood leaning against the counter, her expression unreadable as she watched you.
finally, you nodded, following her down the hallway.
as she opened the door to her room, she turned back to glance at minjeong.
“stay out of it,” she warned.
minjeong’s gaze narrowed, but she said nothing as you stepped into the room, the door closing softly behind you.
-
the room was quiet, save for the faint hum of the heater. karina stood by the door, her arms crossed, while you stood near her desk, trying to keep your emotions in check.
“so,” you began, your voice trembling slightly, “you were going to tell me about the world tour?”
“i was,” she replied flatly, avoiding your gaze.
“when?” you asked, your voice sharper this time. “after you left? after i found out from some interview or social media post?”
“don’t be dramatic, y/n,” she muttered, running a hand through her hair. “i was going to tell you when the time was right.”
“the time was right weeks ago,” you snapped, your frustration spilling over. “do you even hear yourself? i’m supposed to be part of your life. why am i always the last to know about everything that matters?”
“because it’s hard,” she shot back, her voice rising. “it’s hard to keep up with everything. my career, my schedules, this relationship — you don’t get it.”
“no, i don’t,” you admitted, tears stinging your eyes. “because you don’t let me in. you shut me out. you don’t talk to me, you don’t tell me things, and then you act like i’m the problem for wanting to be included in your life.”
“maybe you are the problem,” she said coldly, the words cutting through the air like a knife.
you froze, staring at her in disbelief. “what?”
“you’re so needy, y/n,” she continued, her voice harsh. “you’re always clinging to me, always wanting more. i’m doing my best, and it’s never enough for you.”
“needy?” you repeated, your voice trembling with anger. “what the fuck?”
“yes, needy,” she snapped. “it’s like you can’t function without me. it’s not my fault you don’t have any other friends. you built your whole life around us, and now you expect me to do the same?”
the tears you’d been holding back finally spilled over, but you refused to let them stop you. “that’s not fair,” you whispered. “i sacrificed so much for you because i love you, karina.”
“life isn’t fair, y/n,” she said, her tone bitter. “and it’s not my fault you don’t have anything else going on. i didn’t ask you to make me the centre of your world.”
you stared at her, your chest tightening with each word she threw at you. “jimin, do you even hear yourself right now?”
“i do,” she said sharply. “and you should, too. my world doesn’t revolve around you, y/n. it never did, and it never will. my life will keep spinning with or without you in it.”
the words hit you like a physical blow, stealing the breath from your lungs. for a moment, the room was silent, save for the sound of your shaky breathing.
“you don’t mean that,” you whispered, your voice barely audible.
“maybe i do,” she muttered, looking away. “you don’t belong in my —“
your chest tightened painfully, and before you could think, you raised your hand and slapped her right across the face.
the sound echoed through the room, sharp and final.
her head snapped to the side, her hand flying up to her cheek as she stared at you coldly — eyes devoid of the love she held for you that filled them.
“you don’t get to talk to me like that,” you said, your voice trembling with anger and heartbreak. “not after everything we’ve been through. not after everything i’ve done for you and all the bullshit you put me through.”
you grabbed the photo album from her desk, the one the girls had made for you.
“this was supposed to be a gift,” you shoved it into her hands. “for my birthday. the one you forgot. but i don’t want it anymore. you can have it.”
she stared at the album in her hands, her mouth opening slightly as if she wanted to say something, but no words came out.
“we’re done, jimin, karina, or whoever the fuck you are right now,” you said, your voice breaking. “i can’t do this anymore. i can’t keep loving someone who doesn’t love me back. it’s over.”
“y/n —” she began, but you shook your head, cutting her off.
“don’t,” you raised your hand, voice firm despite the tears streaming down your face. “don’t say anything. just…don’t.”
you turned and walked out of the room, slamming the door behind you.
as you gathered the rest of your things with quiet sniffles, you felt a hand stop you. you looked up at minjeong with shaky breaths.
“let me help you, y/n,” she started putting your gifts in the box whilst aeri handed you your coat.
there was an unspoken silence — it told them everything they needed to know. as you left the dorm, the cold night air hit you like a wave, but it did little to numb the pain in your chest. and even though it felt like your heart was breaking into a million pieces, you knew it was the right thing to do.
because you deserved more than this.
✧・゚: *✧・゚:*
the morning after the breakup, you woke up to a silence so thick it felt like it might suffocate you. the cozy apartment you once loved, nestled in the corner of a quiet street, now felt hollow.
this was the place where you’d built a life with jimin — before she was karina. it was your shared sanctuary, the place where laughter echoed in the evenings, where the smell of her favourite tea lingered in the air, where you both dreamed of a future that now felt like a distant memory.
you sat on the edge of the sofa, your phone in your hand. the screen lit up with a flood of messages — aeri, yizhuo and minjeong. they were worried, apologising for the night before, telling you they were there if you wanted to talk.
but you couldn’t face them. not because they’d done anything wrong, but because they were a part of jimin’s world; the one she didn’t want you to be a part of.
your thumb hovered over the screen for only a moment before you made the decision.
aeri-chan. ningx2. minjeonggg.
you blocked each of them, one by one.
when it was done, you set the phone down, staring at it blankly. it felt like another thread severed, another piece of your life with jimin falling away.
-
the next task was harder.
you stood in the middle of the bedroom you’d decorated for her, staring at the collection of her belongings scattered around. her favourite hoodie was still draped over the chair in the corner, her skincare products neatly lined up in the bathroom and stacks of her old clothes in the wardrobe.
with trembling hands, you began packing them into boxes. each item was a reminder of the life you’d built together, and as you held them, memories surfaced unbidden.
the books: the ones she’d never quite finished, tucked away on the shelf.
your hands moved methodically, placing everything into boxes, but your mind drifted. you remembered how she’d sit at the tiny kitchen table, humming softly as she waited for you to finish cooking. how she’d sneak up behind you while you painted, her arms wrapping around your waist as she whispered, “you’re amazing, you know that?”
you paused when you came across framed photos of you throughout the years — from that one vintage photobooth in gangnam.
the tears didn’t come. you were past that now. there was only an ache; deep and heavy that settled into your chest like it might never leave.
you knew what you had to do.
the photos couldn’t stay. not for your sake, and not for hers.
gathering every picture of the two of you, you made your way to the kitchen. with a deep sigh, you lit the edges with a match, watching as the flames consumed the images.
it wasn’t anger that drove you. jimin was karina of aespa now, a name and face known to millions. these moments were yours, and yours alone. no one else needed to see them.
as the last photo burned, you stood in the quiet kitchen, the faint smell of smoke lingering in the air.
you stood in the doorway, looking out at the space you had called home. the sofa where the two of you had spent countless nights watching movies. the tiny kitchen where you’d cooked her favourite meals. the walls that had once been filled with laughter and love.
you were going to miss this place; you had built a life with her here, after all.
it was the one place where she wasn’t karina, but just jimin.
that life was gone now.
within three days, with your dad’s help, you packed up your things and moved out of the apartment. he worked tirelessly, carrying box after box to the car, only pausing to check on you every so often.
“you okay?” he asked gently as you stood in the now-empty living room, staring at the bare walls.
you nodded, though your chest felt tight. “yeah. i just…i need a minute.”
he gave you a reassuring pat on the shoulder before stepping outside, leaving you alone.
you took one last look around, the memories flashing before your eyes. the laughter, the love, the life you’d built here — they were all distant now.
then, you closed the door behind you, feeling both the weight of the past and the faintest glimmer of relief.
-
the air inside the gallery was heavy with the scent of paint and wood varnish, a smell that had always felt like home to you.
today, it carried a bittersweet edge. the light streaming through the windows highlighted the scattered boxes and carefully wrapped canvases as you stood in the centre of the room, trying to figure out where to begin.
“y/n, where do you want these?”
you turned to see jaehyung, one of your long-time students, balancing a stack of sketchbooks in his arms. his brows furrowed with focus, though his boyish grin peeked through.
“just over there by the window, jae,” you said, gesturing toward a corner where you’d already begun stacking supplies.
“got it,” he replied, setting them down gently before glancing around. “i can’t believe this place is closing. it feels…weird.”
“you’re telling me,” mr. kim chimed in from across the room, his usual warm demeanour tinged with sadness. he was one of your older students, a retired schoolteacher who’d taken up art as a hobby. “this gallery has been like a second home for us.”
you smiled faintly, though the weight of their words pressed on your chest. “it’s not forever,” you said gently. “just…a break. for now.”
mr. kim paused, studying you with his kind eyes. “sometimes a break is necessary, y/n. don’t forget, you’ve built something special here. we’ll be waiting when you’re ready to come back.”
“yeah,” jaehyung added, his grin widening. “and in the meantime, you’re stuck with us online.”
you laughed softly, the sound easing some of the tension in the room. “i’ll hold you to that. i expect all of you to still send me your projects, okay? no slacking off just because i’m not here to check in person.”
“you got it, boss,” jaehyung said with a mock salute, earning a chuckle from mr. kim.
the three of you worked steadily throughout the day, wrapping paintings, packing supplies, and carefully disassembling easels. the gallery grew quieter as the shelves emptied, the once-vibrant space slowly transforming into a blank canvas.
as the last box was taped shut, you glanced around the room, frowning.
this gallery had been your dream — a place where you could share your passion and build a community.
“y/n,” mr. kim said gently, interrupting your thoughts. “you okay?”
you turned to him, offering a small smile. “yeah. it’s just…hard to say goodbye.”
“it’s not goodbye,” jaehyung said quickly. “it’s ‘see you later.’ right?”
you chuckled, nodding. “right.”
once everything was packed, you sent out a final email to your students.
-
Dear Everyone,
The gallery will be closed until further notice. Thank you for your support, your creativity, and the joy you’ve brought into this space. I’ll miss seeing your faces every week, but this isn’t the end — just a pause.
If you need anything or want to continue lessons online, please don’t hesitate to reach out. You know where to find me.
With gratitude, Y/n
-
the last thing you did was hang a small notice on the gallery door.
you stepped back, staring at the sign as it swayed gently in the breeze. the weight of finality settled in your chest.
“ready?” jaehyung asked, stepping up beside you.
you nodded, taking one last look at the gallery before turning away.
“goodbye.”
“see you later,” mr. kim corrected you firmly.
-
the morning was cold, the air sharp and heavy with the promise of snow. as you carried the last box of your ex-girlfriend’s belongings down the stairs.
mrs. choi’s apartment was just two doors down from yours and when you knocked, she answered almost immediately, her warm, familiar smile faltering slightly when she saw your expression.
“y/n-ah,” she said gently, stepping aside to let you in. “come in, come in. it’s freezing out there.”
you stepped inside, the warmth of her small, cozy apartment wrapping around you like a blanket. her place smelled of fresh kimchi and tea.
“you’re all packed, then?” she asked softly, gesturing for you to set the final box near her kitchen table.
“yeah,” you replied, your voice trembling slightly. “this is the last of it.”
she glanced at the box, her expression growing even softer. she reached out, placing a hand on your arm. “you’re really leaving, aren’t you?”
you nodded, swallowing hard. “i need to, ajumma.”
she looked at you for a long moment, her eyes glistening with unshed tears. “you and jimin…always thought you two would make it. watching you both grow up, seeing the love you had — it was something special, y/n.”
her words made your throat tighten, but you forced a small smile. “it was special,” you said quietly. “it just…wasn’t enough.”
she sighed, her shoulders sagging slightly. “sometimes, the ones we lose find their way back to us,” she murmured. “not always, but sometimes. and if they don’t, it’s only because something better is waiting.”
you looked down at your hands, her words both comforting and bittersweet.
“you’ve always been kind, y/n,” she continued, her voice warm and steady. “to jimin, to everyone. don’t let this make you hard. the world needs more people like you.”
her words brought tears to your eyes, but you blinked them away quickly, not wanting to break down here. “thank you, mrs. choi. for everything.”
she smiled, patting your hand before glancing at the box. “i’ll keep this for her. she’ll come by eventually and i’ll make sure she gets it.”
“thank you,” you said again, your voice barely above a whisper.
as you stood there, ready to leave, she suddenly tilted her head, a thoughtful look crossing her face. “now, tell me, is she on tv?”
you blinked, surprised by the question. “yeah,” you said softly, a small, proud smile tugging at your lips despite everything. “she’s doing really well. she’s…she’s amazing.”
her eyes lit up and she clapped her hands together. “i knew it was her and my mahjong friends called me crazy. she must be famous!”
you nodded, the pride in your chest mingling with the ache of loss. “she is now.”
she frowned, reaching out to pull you into a hug, her small frame surprisingly strong as she held you close. “you’ll be okay, y/n,” she said softly. “i know you will. and wherever you go, they’ll be lucky to have you.”
“thank you,” you murmured, your voice breaking slightly as you clung to her for just a moment longer.
when you finally stepped back, she smiled at you again, her eyes filled with a quiet sadness but also hope.
“goodbye, mrs. choi,” you said softly, your hand lingering on the doorknob.
“goodbye, y/n-ah,” she replied, her voice warm. “don’t be a stranger. and remember — sometimes, lost ones find their way home.”
as you stepped out into the cold morning air, her words stayed with you, wrapping around your heart like a fragile thread of hope.
✧・゚: *✧・゚:*
the christmas tree sparkled in the warm glow of the living room, the scent of pine mingling with the faint aroma of mulled wine and cinnamon candles.
you carefully placed the last ornament — a delicate glass bauble your mum insisted on saving for last: on the highest branch.
“perfect,” your dad said, stepping back to admire the tree with a satisfied nod. “i’d say we’ve outdone ourselves this year.”
“we always do,” your mum chimed in, setting down a tray of wine glasses on the coffee table.
you stepped back, joining them as the three of you stood side by side, taking in the sight of your handiwork. the tree was a masterpiece, adorned with years of collected ornaments, each one holding a memory.
she handed you a glass of merlot, raising hers with a smile. “to family,” she said softly.
“to family,” you and your dad echoed, clinking glasses.
the warmth of the wine spread through you, and for the first time in weeks, you felt a sense of peace.
you sank into the couch with your parents, the fire crackling softly in the background. as you sipped your drink, the weight of the past few months hung heavy in the air.
“this isn’t how i thought the year would end,” you admitted quietly, staring at the tree. “i mean…i didn’t think i’d be single for christmas.”
your mum placed a gentle hand on your knee, her eyes soft with understanding. “life has a way of surprising us, sweetheart. sometimes in ways we don’t expect.”
your dad nodded, leaning forward to rest his elbows on his knees. “but you’re here with us now, and we couldn’t be prouder of you, y/n. you’ve handled everything with so much grace.”
their support wrapped around you like a warm blanket, and you felt a lump rise in your throat. “i don’t know what i’d do without you two,” you said, your voice trembling slightly. “thank you. for everything.”
she smiled, squeezing your knee. “you don’t have to thank us. that’s what family is for.”
there was a pause, a comfortable silence as the three of you sat together. then your mum broke it, her tone gentle but curious. “so, what’s next for you, y/n? what’s the next chapter?”
you hesitated, swirling the wine in your glass as you gathered your thoughts. “actually,” you began slowly, “there’s something i haven’t told you.”
both of them turned to you, their expressions attentive.
“way before aespa debuted,” you said softly, “a gallery in paris has been sending me yearly invitations for an artist-in-residence program. it’s a huge opportunity…one i’ve always dreamt of. but…i kept declining.”
your dad frowned slightly. “why?”
you took a deep breath, the words heavy on your tongue. “i didn’t want to be far away from her. i didn’t want to miss any part of her life, specially when she was working so hard to make her dreams come true.”
your mum’s expression softened, her eyes glistening. “oh, y/n…”
“i made a lot of sacrifices,” you admitted, your voice steady but quiet. “and i don’t regret loving her. but now…i think it’s time i start saying yes to things for me.”
“are you going to accept this time?” he asked, his voice full of quiet encouragement.
you nodded, a small smile tugging at your lips. “i already did. i’m going to paris a week after the new year.”
she gasped, her smile wide as she reached over to hug you tightly. “paris! oh, sweetheart, that’s wonderful!”
“about time you did something for yourself,” he added with a proud grin.
she pulled back, a playful glint in her eye. “do they have any good korean restaurants in paris?” she asked your dad.
he chuckled, shaking his head. “we’d better find out.”
“maybe we’ll come with you,” your mum teased, winking at you.
you laughed, the sound light and genuine. “you two would love it.”
“to paris next week then!”
-
that night, as you lay in bed staring at the ceiling, your thoughts drifted to jimin.
there was no anger in your heart, no hatred for her. you couldn’t hate her. she wasn’t a bad person. she wasn’t even a bad girlfriend — not entirely.
she was just someone who had been swept up in a world that demanded more than she could give.
you thought about who she was before the world knew her as karina — the girl who made you laugh until your sides ached, who held you when you cried, who whispered dreams of forever into the quiet of the night.
you had grown up together, loved each other deeply. and while it didn’t last, it had been real.
“thank you,” you whispered into the darkness, not knowing if the words were meant for her, yourself, or both.
as you closed your eyes, the weight of the past began to lift, paris awaited.
✧・゚: *✧・゚:*
jimin stumbled out of her car, the freezing air biting at her cheeks as she stared up at the familiar apartment building. the snow fell in slow, heavy flakes, blanketing the quiet street in white. her breath came in uneven puffs, her heart pounding harder with every step she took toward the door.
her first day off in weeks and all she could think about was you. it had been over five weeks since she’d seen you and she couldn’t ignore the ache in her chest any longer.
it was the first time she’d had enough space to think, to realise just how much had slipped through her fingers. she told herself it wasn’t too late, that if she just got to you, everything would be okay.
she could explain, apologise, fix things — really try her hardest this time.
her hand trembled as she unlocked the door, her key sliding into place like muscle memory. she pushed it open, half expecting to see you curled up on the couch with a book or maybe in the kitchen painting something.
the first thing she noticed was the silence, heavy and suffocating. her eyes darted around the space, searching for any sign of you, but everything was gone.
the walls, once decorated with your paintings and small shelves of trinkets, were bare. the bookshelf was empty. the worn-out sofa, still in its usual spot, felt smaller without your blanket draped over it or the little pillow you always used.
“y/n?” she called out, her voice cracking.
no answer.
she stepped further inside, her footsteps echoing in the hollow space. the bedroom door was open, and when she walked in, the emptiness struck her all over again.
the closet was empty. no clothes, no art supplies, no trace of you. the desk where you used to work on sketches late at night was gone, leaving only faint scuff marks on the floor.
her chest tightened as she stood in the centre of the room, her breathing shallow.
“no,” she whispered to herself, shaking her head. “this isn’t…this can’t be —”
she turned back to the kitchen, her eyes frantically scanning the counters, hoping to find something that would tell her where you’d gone.
that was when she saw it — a folded piece of paper with her name written in your handwriting.
her hands trembled as she picked it up and opened it.
“jimin,
i’ve left a box of your things with mrs. choi. there are about three of them filling up her apartment. please pick it up when you can. i asked her to keep it safe for you.
take care,
y/n.”
the note slipped from her fingers, landing softly on the floor.
for a long moment, she stood there, staring at the paper, her mind racing. you were gone.
-
her next stop was mrs. choi’s apartment, just two floors down. the elderly woman answered almost immediately, her kind face softening when she saw jimin.
“jimin-ah,” mrs. choi said gently, stepping aside to let her in. “come in, dear. you must be freezing.”
she stepped inside, her eyes darting around as though expecting to find some sign of you here, even though she knew better. “mrs. choi…where is she? she’s not at the apartment, and i…i thought maybe…”
she sighed, her expression tinged with sadness. she gestured toward a neatly packed boxes sitting by the sofa. “y/n left before christmas, dear. she asked me to hold onto these for you.”
jimin stared at the boxes, her chest tightening. “she…she left?”
mrs. choi nodded, her voice soft. “she didn’t say much else, just that it was time for her to go.”
the words hit her like a physical blow, and her knees nearly buckled. “i didn’t think she’d actually leave,” she whispered, more to herself than to mrs. choi.
the older woman reached out, placing a comforting hand on her arm. “you know, jimin, love can’t grow if you don’t take care of it. even the strongest love can wither if it’s left in the cold for too long.”
her eyes filled with tears, her throat tightening as she looked down at the box.
“sometimes,” mrs. choi continued, her voice even softer now, “the ones we lose find their way back to us. but you have to be willing to meet them halfway.”
jimin nodded numbly, unable to respond.
“thank your, ajumma,” she bowed her head. “i’ll have someone pick these up from you, but for now, i have to visit her gallery.”
-
the snow was heavier now, falling in thick flakes that clung to her hair and lashes as she sprinted down the familiar streets. when she reached the building, she stopped short, her heart sinking all over again.
the windows were dark, the inside barren. a small sign hung on the door:
“closed until further notice. thank you for everything.”
her hands pressed against the cold glass as she peered inside. the space that had once been alive with your creativity and passion was empty, stripped of all the warmth and colour that made it yours.
her forehead rested against the glass as tears streamed down her face, her breath fogging the window.
“y/n,” she whispered, her voice cracking. “please…”
but there was nothing.
-
jimin gripped the steering wheel tightly, her knuckles white as tears blurred her vision. the snow fell heavier now, making it harder to see the road, but she didn’t care.
the silence in the car was unbearable, filled only with the sound of her shaky breaths and the occasional muffled sob. she couldn’t think clearly, couldn’t breathe properly. she had spent weeks distracted by her career, ignoring the growing distance between you and now the weight of what she had done — what she had lost — was crashing down on her.
she should’ve followed you that night.
her phone buzzed in the cupholder, and with trembling hands, she reached for it, barely able to see the screen through her tears. it was aeri.
“jimin, where are you?” aeri’s voice was steady but tinged with worry. “minjeong and ningning said you ran off. we’re freaking out —”
“she’s gone,” she interrupted, her voice cracking as the tears came harder. “aeri, she’s gone.”
“who’s gone?” aeri asked, her voice softening with concern.
“y/n,” jimin sobbed, gripping the phone as if it were the only thing anchoring her. “i went to the apartment, she’s not there. the gallery, it’s closed. mrs. choi said she left before christmas. i don’t know where else to look.”
“yu jimin, breathe,” aeri said firmly, though her voice remained gentle. “where are you now?”
“driving to her parents’ house,” she whispered. “i just…i need to see her. i need to fix this.”
“okay,” the other girl said. there was a brief pause before she added, “i’ll call our manager. we’ll come get you.”
“no,” jimin pressed on, her voice trembling. “just meet me there. please.”
“jimin,” aeri said again, her tone more insistent. “you shouldn’t be driving in this state. pull over. we’ll come get you, okay?”
she hesitated, her grip tightening on the wheel, but the desperation in aeri’s voice broke through her haze. finally, she pulled over to the side of the road, the car skidding slightly on the icy pavement.
“please hurry,” jimin whispered before hanging up.
when the van arrived, aeri was the first to step out, her face pale with worry as she rushed to jimin’s car. yizhuo and minjeong followed closely behind, their eyes wide with concern.
jimin opened the door, stumbling out into the snow as the sobs overtook her again.
“she’s gone,” she choked out, her voice barely audible. “i fucking ruined everything and now she’s gone.”
aeri caught her before she could fall, holding her tightly as she cried into her shoulder. yizhuo placed a hand on her back, her eyes glistening with unshed tears, while minjeong stood close, her arms crossed tightly over her chest as if trying to hold herself together.
“we’ll figure it out,” minjeong reassured her, though her voice trembled. “let’s just go to her parents’ house, okay? maybe they’ll know where she is.”
jimin nodded weakly, allowing them to guide her into the van.
the drive felt awfully long. when they finally arrived at your parents’ house, the driveway was empty, the windows dark.
her heart sank as the reality began to set in.
she stumbled out of the van, ignoring the biting cold as she made her way to the front door.
“y/n!” she shouted, her voice echoing into the still night. “please! i’m sorry! just talk to me!”
the silence was deafening.
she pounded on the door, her fist striking the wood harder and harder as tears streamed down her face.
“y/n!” she screamed again, her voice breaking.
there was no answer.
she backed away, her legs giving out as she fell into the snow. “no,” she whispered, shaking her head. “no, no, no…”
the sobs came harder, wracking her body as she clutched at the ground.
minjeong knelt beside her, wrapping an arm around her shoulders while aeri crouched in front of her, gently holding her face.
“jimin,” yizhuo said softly, her voice breaking. “she’s not here. we need to go.”
“i can’t,” she sobbed, shaking her head violently. “i can’t leave. she has to come back. she…she has to.”
“she’s gone,” minjeong mumbled, her voice thick with emotion as she rubbed circles on her back. “but it doesn’t mean she’s not coming back.”
jimin let out a guttural scream, the sound ripping through the night as she collapsed into minjeong’s arms.
“please,” she whispered, her voice barely audible now. “just let me stay. please.”
their manager stepped forward, his expression filled with sympathy. “karina, we need to go. it’s not safe out here.”
jimin shook her head, her tears freezing on her cheeks. “i can’t…i can’t leave her. i can’t.”
aeri’s voice cracked as she gently pried jimin away from ningning. “jimin, she’s not here. staying won’t change that.”
finally, after what felt like hours, jimin allowed them to guide her back into the van. her body felt heavy, her mind numb as she stared out the window at the dark house, her tears falling silently.
as the van pulled away, the snow continued to fall, blanketing the empty driveway in white.
and for the first time, jimin truly understood what it meant to lose the person she loved most.
✧・゚: *✧・゚:*
the end.
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