#heaven can't wait promo

[thefallennightmare]

Just Pretend-nine

*gif created by me. feel free to use, simply give credit*

Parings: Noah Sebastian x Musician! Reader

Warnings/Tropes: language, angst, fluff, smut, star-crossed lovers, right person/wrong time, cheating, talks of mental abuse.

Summary: “I can wait for years, heaven knows I’m not getting over you.” A story about two star-crossed lovers, that always find their way back because their souls are entwined. The universe desperately attempts to bring them together, no matter what the cost.

Authors Note: PLEASE, we are begging you guys. Take your time with this one, so many different emotions throughout. Its a big fucking deal and read it slow, immerse yourself in this world while listening to the playlist. Enjoy my lovelies. 😉

Collaborating With: @thescarlettvvitch(better give her all the love as well)

Tags: @thescarlettvvitch @ozwriterchick @waake-meee-up @notingridslurkaccount @niicoleleigh @sammyjoeee @xxrainstorm @dominuslunae @notmaddihealy @malice-ov-mercy @crimson-calligraphyx @iknownothingpeople @writethrough @thebadchic @blackveilomens Claudia on Tumblr @tobe-written @blacksoul-27 @loeytuan98 @loverofagoodbeard @comfortcharactercraze @lma1986 @plutonikchaos1 @spicywhenspeaking @lyschko666 @somewhere-diamond

NOAH

"I'm so fucking glad we're staying in a hotel the next few days," Folio groaned as we walked down the long hallway of the hotel.

I nodded in agreement. "I can't believe the tour is almost over; our last show is tomorrow night."

With our last show tomorrow night, we were spending the next few nights in a hotel and we all planned to take flights back home so we could get there faster. Hollow Souls were also staying in this hotel but they were a floor beneath us but it seemed the farther I went from Y/N, those imaginary pull strings inside of my heart tightened. If it hurt this bad when she was a floor underneath, how bad would it hurt when she was a state away?

As far as I knew, she still had plans to go back to Vegas because that's where her home was, granted it was with Trey. There wasn't a part of me that was worried she would go back to him; I knew she wouldn't. Ever since they fired him, Hollow Souls has been thriving. They posted on their social media pages that Trey was kicked out of the band due to personal reasons and while most of their fans complained about them kicking out their main vocalist, there was a select few that were excited to see what the future of Hollow Souls looked like.

Y/N was upset at first that so many of their fans were boycotting them now because they decided to kick Trey out.

"Seems like they only care about Trey's vocals when I'm the one that actually wrote our songs."

It took a while of Malcolm and Chase talking to her to realize that their future together as a band was looking bright. They could reinvent themselves.

I filled in for the last two shows but after playing my set for thirty minutes before their hour-and-a-half set, my voice was getting raw and sore so Matt thought it be best if I didn't fill in for the last show. I was going to argue, not wanting to let them down, but Chase reassured me they'd figure out what to do for the last show.

Y/N has been glowing since Trey left, slowly becoming a better woman in front of all of us; to me, she'd always been perfect. But we could all see her confidence growing. With her face in the dirt far too many times with Trey, she finally said enough; it doesn't hurt anymore. As all of his lies crumbled down, Y/N found a new life.

To say all of us were proud of her was a fucking understatement.

"Hey," Jolly bumped shoulders with mine, pulling me from my thoughts as we stopped in front of the door to his room. "Bryan wants us ready to go in twenty minutes."

Oh, right.

We were currently in Oregon and Bryan planned some time today on our off day to visit one of the national parks here to take some promo photos of us.

"Yeah, I'll be ready to go. I need to change quickly and I'll meet you guys down in the lobby," I said as I walked down a few more doors until I stopped in front of my room; the one I was sharing with Nick.

He patted my shoulder as he walked past me into the room. "You should ask if Y/N wants to come with."

I shrugged off his words, trying not to make it seem that I'd been tossing around the idea for the last hour when Bryan first told us about his plan.

"She might have plans with Chase and Malcolm," I said while tossing my suitcase onto the bed, quickly rifling through the clothes to find something to change into.

"She doesn't. Last I heard, Chase and Malcolm are going out tonight so Y/N will be alone," Nick raised a suggestive brow.

With a long sigh, I turned to face him. "You already planned this, didn't you?"

"It was Chase's idea," he answered.

Rolling my eyes, I pulled out my phone to send a text to Y/N.

Get dressed, I'll be by your room in fifteen minutes.

She responded quickly before I had the chance to set my phone down.

Care to tell me where we're going?

All you need to know is to dress warm, angel.

You're full of surprises. See you soon, mochi. Room 245.

"Mochi?" I chuckled to myself while pocking my phone.

With a smile playing at my lips and my heart pounding loudly in my heart at the nickname, I tossed on a fresh hoodie and my tan jacket, opting to leave my hair down. Nick finished getting dressed when I did and once we stepped out in the hallway, Jolly and Folio were already waiting for us right outside our door.

"Fuck," I cursed while clutching my chest. "You scared the shit out of me, Folio."

"Too busy thinking about Y/N, huh?" He gave a playful smile.

Shoving him on the shoulder, I mentioned we needed to stop by her room before heading down to the lobby.

Jolly adjusted the guitar bag on his back. "She's coming with?"

I hesitantly nodded. "Is that alright? Nick said she was alone, and I felt bad if we left her while we did something."

They all smirked at my rambling as we took the stairs down one floor, our footsteps echoing in the small confined space.

"Of course it is, we don't mind when she tags along," Jolly said.

Coming to a stop in front of door 245, I gently rapped my knuckles against it and waited for her petite voice to carry through the wood. It was silent for a few moments, nerves ate away at my stomach as I wondered why she wasn't answering yet.

I knocked once again, this time with a bit more force, and breathed a little when a loud curse sounded from the other side.

"Hang on, someone's at the door."

I looked over to Nick with a raised brow, and he merely shrugged. "Chase and Malcolm are gone so I don't know who she's talking to."

The door opened with a quick brush of air, and my heart skipped a beat at the sight in front of me. Y/N was dressed in a pair of black tights, and a deep orange sweater that rested to the middle of her thighs, and her hair was pulled back in a high ponytail. I had to resist the urge to wrap my fingers through it to pull her back to me as she turned back into the room.

"Give me two minutes, I have to get my shoes," She said while clutching her phone to her ear. "No, Dad. Not you. I've got plenty of time to talk."

While the rest of the guys hung out in the hallway, I leaned against the wall right next to her bed and watched her as she slipped on her typical Doc Martin, nodding every so often to something her dad was saying on the other end of the phone.

"Dad, you seem to forget that you're seventeen hours ahead of me right now," she laughed causing my heart to flutter. "It's only noon here. Wait, why are you calling me so early? Isn't it your day off?"

She paced around the room looking for something and realizing what it was; I grabbed her bag and slung it over my shoulder. "I got it."

Y/N smiled her thanks before the conversation with her dad took her attention again. "No, I haven't talked to Mom in a while…. well, the last time she tried to guilt trip me into staying with her when the tour was over…I'm not staying at Trey's place anymore. We broke up.…..yea, long time coming, tell me about it….I'm sure I'll figure it out but I'm not staying in Vegas anymore…..hell yes I'm keeping Salem; asshole doesn't do shit for my cat."

I couldn't ignore the way my stomach flipped hearing that she didn't plan on staying in the same state as Trey.

"I can't move in with Malcolm or Chase because they're actually finding their own place together…Dad, they're dating; have been for the last six months…Yeah, that will explain exactly why Chase and I never got together."

I chuckled as I thought of her dad trying to set up her and Chase.

"You saw videos from the show last night?" There was a clear shock in her voice as she continued to talk with her dad as she rushed around the room getting ready.

"I'm surprised because you don't even know how to work face time," she giggled. "Oh, he's a friend of ours. We've been touring with his band for the last few weeks. Yeah, he filled in the last couple of shows….you think so? That's what everyone is saying online."

Her gaze flicked up to mine as her lips parted slightly, whatever her dad said made her give a long pause.

"Just a friend, dad." Then she turned swiftly on her heels away from me to whisper something low into the phone.

"I'm sorry," she mouthed to me with a pulled expression as she looked over her shoulder..

I waved her off. "Take your time."

"Dad, you know I miss you but I can't move to Japan; not now. But yes, I promise to visit you as soon as I can."

Eventually, after another minute, she said goodbye before hanging up with an audible groan. "Don't get me wrong, I love my dad but sometimes he forgets we talk almost every other day. He wants a play-by-play of my life every time."

"He wants you to visit?" I questioned.

She nodded while slipping into a jacket. "Yeah but its hard to find time. You need more than a weekend to visit Japan; there's so much to do."

"Yeah," I pushed her hand away when she went to reach for her bag. "I've got it."

"Noah, you don't have to carry my bag," she chuckled.

I shrugged. "I don't mind. Ready?"

"Yep," she smiled that heart-stopping smile.

When she walked past me towards the open door, my fingers grazed the inside of her wrist to stop her.

"Mochi?" I asked.

"Yes," she responded immediately. "Because you're the sweetest and your tummy is soft."

She poked her finger into my stomach before letting out a loud shriek of laughter as I wrapped an arm around her shoulders to bring her into my embrace, the both of us walking to the doorway where the guys were waiting.

"Malcolm and Chase are going to meet us once they're finished with their date," Y/N said.

"I'll text them the address," Nick said while pulling out his phone.

"Where are we headed?"

"The mountains," Folio answered with a smile.

"Ooh," she slipped out of my embrace, much to my dismay, to rummage around her suitcase for a book before she came back to me, lifting my arm and throwing it over her shoulder once again. "Now I'm ready."

Resisting the urge to press a kiss to her forehead, I set my sunglasses over my eyes and pulled her along with me as she let the door close behind us and ignored the smug look Nick threw my way as we walked past him; Y/N wrapping an arm around my back.

NOAH

"Can you believe how many people are calling for us to collaborate? It's all over Twitter," Nick said while browsing on his phone.

"Shit, really?" Y/N peered over from the back seat so she could gaze down at Nick's phone, who sat in front of her.

I was driving the van to the location that Bryan chose for our photo shoot but Folio called shotgun before she could which earned a cute little pout on her lips; lips that I wanted so bad to taste once again. So she sat in the far back with Jolly while Nick and Bryan sat in the middle. It was weird not having Chase or Malcolm with us since we did everything together on our off days.

"What are they saying?" I wondered while keeping my eyes on the road.

"Fans want you to feature on Hollow Souls next album," Y/N grinned as our eyes locked in the rearview mirror for a few seconds.

I hummed while pulling the van to a stop at the park's entrance. "I'm around whenever you need me, angel."

Once we all piled out, I met Jolly and Bryan at the back of the van to help them unload the equipment while Y/N chatted quietly with both of the Nicks, and out of the corner of my eye; I marveled at how goddess-like she looked with the afternoon sun casting her with her own aura glow. Jolly caught me staring because he smacked my chest before handing me the guitar he brought.

"You could ask her out, ya know," Bryan smirked.

I snapped my gaze over to him. "I can't."

"Why not? It's clear she feels the same since she's here right now," he said.

A long sigh fell from my lips as I ran a hand over my face. "It's not that easy, guys."

Bryan rolled his eyes and then hung his camera from his neck. "I mean you've already kissed, how much easier could things be between you two?"

"You told him?" I seethed at Jolly, who held up his hands.

"I didn't say anything. You two give it away with all the romantic googly-eye shit," he chuckled while he and Bryan began walking up the long trail toward the top of the mountain where we planned on taking the pictures.

"Hey," Y/N smiled as she bounded up next to me. "Little photo shoot?"

Immediately the scowl that followed Byran and Jolly turned into a warm smile, matching Y/N's, and I nodded. We began walking step in step, hands brushing against each other every so often, and I nearly linked fingers with her more than once. However, when we reached some rocky terrain while walking up a hill, Y/N cursed herself for not wearing smarter shoes.

"Here," I bent low in front of her and patted to my back.

"No, you're not carrying me," she tried to laugh it off, but I knew she was nervous about me carrying her weight on my back.

"Angel."

I peered over my shoulder in time to see her place her hands low on her hips.

"Mochi," she teased back with a small smirk.

My heart skipped a long beat at hearing the nickname again. It sounded so fucking sweet falling from her lips; almost as much as my actual name sounded.

"We can do this the easy way or the hard way," I said, still bent low at my knees.

Y/N pulled at the bottom of her sweater dress. "I don't want to give these bozos a show."

She threw a thumb over her shoulder towards both Nick's who walked a few paces behind her. I rose to my knees and gave her a suggestive smirk while closing the distance between us.

"What color are they?"

"Uh," Y/N stammered but quickly recovered. "A cute olive green. Looks great against my skin tone."

A low noise vibrated in the back of my throat and I stood straighter as Folio walked passed just in time to feel the growing sexual tension.

"Either you hop on his back or I will," he joked as he and Nick walked passed us.

She stared up at me and slowly licked her lips, an action I watched carefully through my sunglasses. "Noah?"

"Yes, angel?"

"You have a cute nose," her voice was quiet, and I thought I misheard her.

I titled my head to the side. "My nose?"

"Yeah. It's just the perfect size for your facial structure," she finished with a boop to my nose.

I scrunched up my face. "Did-did you just boop my nose?"

"See!" She pointed to my face. "You look so fucking cute; it's insane."

"Angel, literally," I breathed a low chuckle.

"Mochi, literally," she mocked while sticking her tongue out.

My fingers itched to grab it but Bryan's loud voice echoed through the trees from far ahead. "Let's go you losers! You're holding us up."

I swear to-.

"What will it be, angel?" I asked.

Y/N dramatically sighed before motioning for me to spin around, which I did with a quick wink.

"If you drop me, I swear to Hades," She grumbled while adjusting her dress.

The warmth radiated from her in giant waves as her legs wrapped around my sides and I hooked my arms underneath her thighs to hoist her up.

"I swear to Hades that I will not drop you," I promised while walking up the steep hill towards the rest of the guys. "Do you actually pray to the Greek Gods?"

She flicked my ear. "No, silly. I just like to joke around with them. They're my favorite mythology."

"Will you teach me about them?

"I'm honored you asked; I'd love to," she ran her fingers through my long hair and I briefly let my eyes flutter shut at the calming feeling.

"Only if you let me braid your hair."

My eyes snapped open. "Uh, we'll see about that."

She flicked my ear again. "You're no fun."

Hooking her tighter against me, I closed the distance between us and the guys in a few long strides. Nick gave the two of us a look as I set Y/N down gently on her feet, she quickly pulling down her dress.

"You didn't see shit," she pointed a firm finger to all of us.

"Nope."

"Nothing."

"I have no idea what you're talking about," Bryan held up his camera and snapped a few pictures of Y/N; who in return, flipped him the finger.

I watched with a racing heart as she messed around with the guys, almost as if she'd been part of our little group for years.

"Alright," Y/N pulled the book out of her bag. "I'll let you guys do your thing. If you need me, I'll be reading over there."

She pointed to the edge of the mountain that looked over the small lake we drove past to get here.

"Be careful, angel," I warned.

"I'll be fine," Y/N rolled her eyes but as she turned, she tripped over a rock and stumbled a bit before standing straight.

I raised a teasing brow at her while crossing my arms over my chest. "What was that?"

"Fuck you," she taunted with her middle finger.

Don't tempt me, angel.

The next hour passed in a blur as we took countless pictures, just having a fun, relaxing time. Every so often, my gaze would fall onto Y/N as she leaned up against a large willow tree, book perched in her lap. The wind blew through her ponytail every so often and I marveled at how fucking breathtaking she looked when her face would scrunch in surprise with whatever she was reading.

I knew from the moment I stepped off our bus the first day of the tour when I saw her standing amongst the group; when we first met. It wasn't the typical love at first sight bullshit Folio talks about that happens in the movies. It was more like a familiarity, almost like 'oh, hello. It's you. It's always going to be you.'

"Noah, could you take a little step forward," Bryan directed.

Snapping my gaze away from Y/N reluctantly, I followed Bryan's orders for another long few minutes until he decided we got enough pictures. I motioned towards Y/N, who still had her nose perched in her book, and Bryan knew what I silently was saying because he snapped a few pictures of her.

Malcolm and Chase walked up just as we finished our photoshoot so a quick idea came to my mind.

"Angel," I called.

She looked up. "Hm?"

Not saying anything, I waved her, Malcolm, and Chase over to our position which they did hesitantly.

"If Bryan is cool with it," I pointed to him. "What do you guys say for a Hollow Souls photoshoot? New and reimagined?"

Bryan immediately agreed. "Let me change out some things and we can get started.

Chase and Malcolm also agreed with a nod. "I think it'll be good for us."

"You guys don't have to do this for us," Y/N stated. "You've already done so much for us, Noah by filling in."

I shrugged while stuffing my hands deep into the pockets of my jeans. "I take care of the people I care about."

She pondered my words for a long moment and eventually let out a long breath. "Alright fine."

Once Bryan returned, the rest of stepped back to give them space to work. Nick was the only one who watched me as Jolly, Folio, and I kept our eyes on Hollow Souls. We grabbed a few beers from the cooler Jolly packed and was nursing them slowly.

"You know, this would be a perfect opportunity to maybe slip away just the two of you," Nick whispered.

I peered over to him and rolled my eyes, shoving him in the shoulder. "Whatever."

"I'm just saying," he held up his hands in defense. "A night under the stars in the mountains. Anybody would kill for a date like that."

Nick's words weighed heavily on my brain and when she began walking towards me, I made the haste decision by grabbing the guitar that was leaning against the tree.

"Hi," Y/N smiled as I met her halfway.

My heart warmed at the sight.

"Do you want to go somewhere more secluded, just the two of us?" I suggested with a hopeful smile.

I didn't want to think how I would feel if she rejected me and walked away from me.

"Sure," she answered quickly with a glimmer shining in her eyes.

Ultimately, after walking for a few minutes, we decided on an area far from the rest of the group down the water's edge. We sat down in the sand, our knees brushing against each other, and held the guitar in my lap as I watched her stare out into the vast distance of the water. There was a faraway look in the depths of her eyes as she messed with something on her wrist, fiddling it between her fingers.

A hair tie; the one I gave her the last time we were on the beach together. I wondered where it went but decided that I never wanted it back. It's hers to keep; along with everything else I gave her.

"How are you doing, angel?" I asked, breaking the growing silence.

She didn't look at me, kept her eyes straight ahead.

"I'm-." A hesitant breath. "I'm not sure. I want to believe I'm doing okay with the breakup of not only my relationship but also the band. For the longest time, Hollow Souls was the four of us and we released three records together. The future scares the shit out of me. Can the three of us reinvent a new Hollow Souls or do we need to find someone to replace Trey completely?"

I strummed a few random notes on the guitar; the melody echoing into the sounds of the waves.

"I think a fresh start in all aspects is good for you," I answered slowly, trying to get my thoughts and words right. "I've said it from the start, you're the heart and soul of this band, Y/N. The screams were a bonus. It didn't make or break you guys."

She finally looked towards me and her eyes darted over every inch of my face, wondering if my words were the truth. With her, they always were.

"I don't know what I'd do without you, mochi. Truly."

I scrunched up my face to show that the nickname wasn't my favorite but deep down, my insides were floating in pure bliss having her call me something so disgustingly cute. If any of the guys heard it, though, they would give me shit until the end of my days.

"Ditto, angel, ditto."

I tried to play it cool, sauvé, and chill. My typical demeanor was chipping like ice though, the fear of what would happen if it broke completely had its vise grip on me. No one has ever considered a fuckin a nickname for me, not one without a punchline. Not one without a groan or a cursed tantrum that followed. I wasn’t sure if the pure bliss I was feeling was normal, but who the hell wants normal? Hearing it come from her lips meant everything to me.

"Let's play something," I motioned to the guitar.

"Ooh, what do you have in mind?" She asked while turning her body to face me completely head-on and letting her hair flow as she took it out of the ponytail.

The view of her sitting in front of me with the waves crashing behind her, the setting sun's rays breaking over the horizon stole the breath from my chest.

"Only Love," I answered without an ounce of hesitation.

Y/N's nose scrunched up with confusion and I'd be lying if I said it wasn't the cutest fucking thing ever.

"Noah, that was a demo song from three years ago."

I shrugged and played the first few notes of the song. "Might be silly to some but to me, it means a lot."

It was true. I listened to that song on repeat when it first came out. It was the first song I heard by Hollow Souls and Y/N's voice captivated my heart with its claws. I remember laying on the pullout couch next to Nick in his bedroom as I stayed there yet again. My mind was racing with only one thought.

I have to fucking make it. I needed to buy my own couch that brought a sense of comfort and security I yearned for.

That's when her soft voice came through my headphones and it shocked me to hear a feminine voice after Of Mice and Men. I brushed the hair away from my eyes as I settled deeper into the couch and let Y/N's angelic voice lull me to sleep that night and far too long after.

Cut to three years later and the girl who wrote that song is here in front of me. Some may call it a ‘rockstar crush. Would she be considered that? Who the hell knows? All I know is that I had pent-up memories, and needed to hear that sweet voice sing it, just for me all these years later.

Y/N's real, right there in front of me.

"I'm shocked you remember that song."

"Why wouldn't I? You talked about it being on the cloud during that one livestream," I answered.

Her eyes doubled. "You watched the livestream?"

"Twice."

A red hue brushed across the soft skin of her face as she tilted her head down towards the sand, long hair covering her face.

"No," I brushed away the hair behind her ear. "Don't hide your beautiful face, angel. I want to see all of you if you'd let me."

"Sorry," she muttered under her breath. "I don't even realize I do it."

"Don't apologize. Never apologize to me. Just understand that this is how I see you. Now, enough sadness. Sing for me, angel."

She looked up at me through lashes with a small smile. "Do you know how to play it?"

I snorted, a little hurt that she would doubt me, but proved her wrong as I played the opening part of the song.

"I told you I watched the stream twice."

"Okay," she nodded. "Where did you want me to start?"

"Sing the whole song for me. Please?" I begged.

"You want me to sing the whole song?"

"I do," I rushed out.

Y/N gave a curt nod. “Okay, I’ll play the whole thing- but only because you asked me too, no one else gets the privilege.”

I playfully narrowed my eyes at her. “They better not.”

She took a deep breath while shutting her eyes as I played the tune on the guitar.

"I’m hoping you weren’t heaven sent cause only hell knows where you’ve been. Your built composure’s wearing thin and all your walls are caving in. Before you shut this down, I just wanna lift you up. I’ll take all this love I found and I hope that it’s enough."

We both could hear the ache in our hearts as it bled out, the lyrics mean so fucking much right now.

"Now don’t you shut this down. Ooh no don’t you give this up. I took all this love I found and I hope that it’s enough. Is it enough? If we don’t bend, then this might break. Please don’t give into this pain. Just keep on counting down the days and dream of me to keep you safe."

Y/n opened her eyes to meet mine, a blaze of passion that cut deep into my bones.

"Before you came around I was lost and out of place. You’re the only love I found and I’m hoping that you’ll stay. Please stay."

As we played on together in perfect harmony, there was one thing bright in clear in my mind: I'd stay for as long as she let me.

"Fuck," she breathed. "I forgot how much I loved singing this song."

I nodded in agreement while setting the guitar down next to me. "It's one of my favorites. It's actually what got me into Hollow Souls. I'd been hooked on your voice since that first night on Nick's couch all those years ago when I first heard it."

Y/N beamed when an idea struck her with such force, she stumbled to her feet. "I have to talk with Chase and Malcolm about something."

She took off a few steps in front of me, clearly excited about this idea she had. As we reached the rest of the guys, Y/N made a beeline toward Chase to tell him about her idea while I walked up to Nick and Folio, the former giving me a look.

"So my date idea was good, huh?" He playfully jabbed my side.

I pushed him away with a groan of embarrassment. "Fuck off, Nicholas."

"Oh, he pulled out the full name," Folio teased.

Jolly and Bryan joined us as we finished packing up the van and when I glanced over to Y/N, I noticed Malcolm pinching her cheeks playfully and she smacked his hands away, her cheeks flushed with her own embarrassment and large smile.

NOAH

"Oh wow, look at all of these beautiful people tonight!" Y/N's voice carried through the sold-out arena.

It was the last show of tour and Hollow Souls just took the stage for their set. We could feel the nerves radiate off of all three of them all the way where we stood on the stage to watch them. This was new what they planned on doing tonight but the three of them spent the rest of last night after we parted ways at the hotel and all morning and afternoon today practicing nonstop a new setlist. They wanted to show everyone tonight the first step towards the new Hollow Souls.

"Where's Noah?!" a voice yelled from the crowd.

Jolly chuckled from beside me. "Think they'll be upset you don't show up tonight?"

I ran a hand through my hair and sighed. "I hope not. This is something that they need to prove they can do. The fans need to have faith in Hollow Souls."

"Well, about that," Malcolm spoke into his microphone while adjusting his bass strap.

"Now before you all start booing us off the stage," Chase spoke next from his spot above on his makeshift drum stage. "Noah has been fucking killing it not only with Bad Omens this tour but also helping us out a lot. But tonight, we wanted to do something a little different. We still have our guitar tech filling in for us!"

The crowd cheered for their guitar tech, which made him give an awkward wave.

"I know this may take getting used to, but we appreciate your support in doing what’s right for us and our band," Y/N said. "It means so fucking much to all of us you still showed up tonight even knowing Trey is no longer with us. For that, we're going to give you a kick ass show you deserved. Don't give up on Hollow Souls. We cut out the disease and are ready to fucking blossom."

Y/N peered over to me and with a small wave and wink, she sang the first few lyrics of Only Love.

NOAH

Darkness cascaded over my sleeping form, a brush of moonlight breaking through the curtains pulled tight in our hotel room, and I buried myself deeper into the cocoon of blankets. Sleep was within my grasp and after the last few weeks, the thought of finally being able to sleep in my own bed back at home made it that much easier to grasp it.

Until my phone buzzed from its place on the nightstand and my hand smacked around until it grabbed it. Through hazy vision, I blinked a few times for the words to clear.

Hey, are you awake?-Angel.

I sat up in bed and rubbed away the rest of the sleep from my eyes. It only meant one thing when someone texted you the typical you up text.

Yeah, couldn't sleep.

Bullshit, you were seconds away from waking up Nick with your snoring.

I stared at the bubbles that appeared on my screen and then disappeared, only to reappear right before her next text came through.

Would it be alright if I came by to hang out? Or is it too late?

The clock at the top of my screen showed it was just before midnight.

Not at all. I've got snacks, and we can finally finish watching Spirited Away. Room 392

Be there in five minutes. I'll bring some goodies too! :)

I chucked a pillow at Nick, who was fast asleep in his bed, but when he remained sleeping, I threw another. Eventually, he groaned, slowly waking up.

"You need to leave." I scrambled out of bed and pulled away the blankets from Nick. "Y/N's coming by to hang out."

Nick smoothed down his bedhead, a sly smirk on his lips. "You're kicking me out right now?"

"Fuck yes I am. Go bunk with Bryan or Matt," I said while changing out of my old gray sweats for a pair of black joggers, opting to put on a shirt.

He yawned before grabbing the things he would need and dragged his feet to the door, sending a text to whoever he bunked with.

"Be safe!" Nick called out before the door shut behind him.

With seconds to spare, I quickly tidied up the room then set up a variety of snacks and pulled up the movie on my laptop, setting it on the bed just in time for a soft knock to sound on the door. I let out a few deep calming breaths and did a quick once over of myself in the mirror.

"Hi," I smiled once I opened the door.

Y/N's eyes grazed over every inch of me as she shifted on her feet in the doorway, clutching a bag close to her chest. She was dressed in a pair of sleep shorts and an oversized shirt.

"Do you always sleep shirtless?" she asked with a raised brow.

I stepped to the side, allowing her to step inside the room. "Every hotel room I sleep in can't get any colder than seventy degrees. I need it to be at least sixty-eight. I run hot when I sleep and the guys know not to mess with the thermostat back home."

"Wow, good to know. I'll keep my hands to myself when I come over," she wiggled her fingers after setting her bag down on the couch.

Please don't.

I peeked a brow. "When you come over?"

"Oh, if you thought you saw the last of me because the tour is over, you're wrong," she fell onto the couch with a huff of breath. "I'm moving to Los Angeles."

My heart thumped loudly in my chest but I did my best to hide my excitement when I sat next to her.

"You are?" I questioned.

She nodded with that room-brightening smile. "I had a long talk with Chase and Malcolm tonight and we thought it is best. With us trying to reinvent Hollow Souls it'd be good if we were together for the writing process. Malcolm already found a place big enough for us and while he's going there to get things ready, Chase is flying back with me to Vegas to help me pack my things."

I shifted in my seat, resting my arm against the back of the couch, behind Y/N. "Do you think Trey will be there?"

"Probably but that's why Chase is coming with me; in case things go south."

"I could come too if you'd like," I stumbled over my words only slightly.

Y/N rested a hand on my knee and squeezed it. "You need to stop worrying so much about me, Noah. I can't ask you to change your plans for something I should do on my own."

"You're worth it, angel," I vowed while running a finger through the soft waves of her hair.

We stayed in that position for a minute longer, simply staring into each other's eyes, and when I ran my tongue over my bottom lip, Y/N let out a soft whine. The thick tension that always seemed to be around us intensified now, and it was almost hard to breathe, let alone keep my thoughts off the way her hand grazed a few inches higher on my thigh.

I cleared my throat while nodding to the bag next to her. "What did you bring?"

"Oh," she snapped out of her trance and set it on her lap. "Last tour, I started this tradition on the final night I celebrate by doing self-care."

She pulled out an array of masks and different colors of nail polish and then set them on the small coffee table in front of us.

"Sweet, hand me one," I nodded towards the masks.

"You do masks?" Y/N giggled.

"What, you think I get this perfect skin with just water?" I jeered with a smile.

For the next while, we sat with our face masks on and watched the movie on the small screen of my laptop. It took almost no convincing from her to paint my nails black; her choosing a burgundy color for her nails. But now, what she was trying to convince of me gave me a slight pause.

"I don't know, angel. I don't let just anyone touch my hair," I said while putting away my laptop, us finishing the movie.

Y/N moved to the chair that sat in the room's corner and had her legs spread wide. "It's a good thing I'm not anyone. Now, get your ass over here and let me braid your hair."

For added effect, she pouted her bottom lip out and gave me those big doe eyes.

"Fine," I sighed before sitting on the floor between her legs, my back to her.

I shivered under her touch as she raked her fingers through my hair to break apart the small knots that gathered while I slept earlier.

"So, which Greek God is your favorite?" I asked.

She hummed. "Without a doubt, Medusa. Her story is tragic and sometimes often told wrong but that's the thing with mythology; there are so many different versions, you just have to choose which one you believe more."

"Medusa is the one with the snake hair, right?"

"Yeah," she turned my head to the left as she began braiding that side. "Some stories said she was an original gorgon sister but recent tellings from Ovid say she was a beautiful maiden who worked in Athena's temple. Poseidon saw her from afar and just like Zeus always did, Poseidon decided he wanted Medusa. He had sex with her on the temple steps and Athena punished her by turning her into the gorgon with snake hair and cursed any man to turn to stone when they looked at her."

I whistled low. "Shit, Greek gods were assholes."

Y/N snorted. "You don't even know the half of it."

Once she finished the left side, she turned my head to the right so she could start on that side.

"How'd her story end?"

"In tragedy, like every other myth. Perseus was sent to behead her by King Polydectes of Seriphus because Polydectes wanted to marry Perseus's mother. The gods were well aware of this, and Perseus got help. He received a mirrored shield from Athena, sandals with gold wings from Hermes, a sword from Hephaestus, and Hades's helm of invisibility."

"Wait," I turned to look up at her, which made her chastise me because I messed up the braid. "Athena, who turned her into this monster, helped the guy who was sent to kill her?"

"Fucked up, I know."

With stern hands, she turned my head to the right again. "Since Medusa was the only one of the three Gorgons who was mortal, Perseus could slay her; he did so while looking at the reflection from the mirrored shield he received from Athena. During that time, Medusa was pregnant by Poseidon so when Perseus beheaded her, Pegasus, the winged horse, and Chrysaor, a giant wielding a golden sword, sprang from her body."

"Oh Pegasus, from the Disney Hercules," I noted.

"That movie is so wrong but what do you expect for a kids' movie," Y/N chuckled then slapped her thighs. "All finished."

She showed me my reflection through her camera on her phone and I couldn't stop the smirk that pulled at my lips.

"I'll have to admit, angel. I look good with braids," I admitted while snatching her phone from her.

"Hey, what are you doing?!" She asked while reaching for it.

I leaned far back from her and posed for a few selfies. "I thought you'd like an updated selfie of me. I know you have the other two I sent you a few weeks ago."

With a red face, she snatched her phone back and held it close to her chest. "I do not."

Bullshit.

"Right, then let me see your pictures," I teased while kneeling in front of her, hands resting on her thighs, her skin ablaze with heat.

She swallowed thickly. "Fuck you, Sebastian."

READER

I swallowed thickly while clutching my phone to my chest, knowing that he was correct about saving those two selfies he sent me before.

"Are you going to look at the selfie I took?" Noah taunted.

With a breath, I peered down at the phone only to suck in a large breath, body shivering underneath his warm touch on my thighs.

"That's your new contact picture, mochi," I smirked while setting it and leaned deeper in the couch, not realizing that I pressed my core closer to Noah's face.

His eyes burned as his gaze darted from between my legs up to my face and his tongue darted out to wet his lips, almost imagining the taste.

"Angel," his voice was deep, it rumbling in his chest.

All the heat shot straight to my pussy as it clenched with desire, something that always happened when around Noah. Before, I took care of myself with this exact image in my mind but now that it was about to happen made me buzz with excitement.

"Can I?" He asked while breathing over my lap.

I raised my hips towards his face, all morals or thoughts if this was the best idea flew out of the window. We waited long enough for this moment ever since we shared that kiss so long ago. I wasn't a religious person at all but fuck, did I pray to Aphrodite about this moment countless times.

"Please," the word choked out on my lips.

With a low growl, Noah pulled me off of the chair and tossed me onto the bed before he crawled between my spread legs. His long fingers hooked the waistband of shorts and panties pulling them off in almost a quick snap and when blazed eyes stared down at my bare pussy, I tried to close my legs.

"Don't," Noah demanded while gripping my thighs tight to spread my legs again. "Don't hide a fucking thing from me, angel."

Shit.

"I've never actually-," The words died on my lips when I felt embarrassed about what I was about to say.

Noah leaned over me. "Wait, are you going to say what I think you're going to say?"

I turned my head away from him. "He never wanted to go down on me."

Noah cursed while cupping my chin so I could meet his gaze. "Don't think about him, angel. Just lay back and enjoy this."

I did my best to nod in his grasp. "Okay."

He suddenly crashed his lips to mine in a fiery, passionate kiss, as he forced his tongue past my lips to taste every inch of my mouth and I moaned into it, nails scratching against the bare skin of his chest. Noah's teeth dragged over my bottom lip as his hand dragged down my side to slide up underneath my shirt, fingers pinching at my nipples.

"Noah," I breathed while breaking apart from the kiss.

He buried his face into the crook of my neck to breathe me in. "Say it again."

I did, over and over like a mantra, as he left a mark on the skin of my neck while his hand switched to the other breast, mimicking his actions from before. The wetness that pooled between my legs was almost a new feeling, never being this turned one, and for a moment I wondered if it would be alright; no pain.

Noah helped me sit up so he could pull my shirt over my head and soon was laying bare in front of him, hair sprawled around my head.

"Fuck, angel. You're fucking beautiful."

For the longest time, I was told something different from how I looked. So hearing the truth and sincerity from Noah made me almost close my legs in front of him. But with his tight grip on my hips to keep me locked against the bed, I knew he could read my thoughts.

"Don't go there. Stay here with me," he said before his lips pressed over every inch of skin from my lips to my chest, down my stomach, and stopped right about my pussy.

I whined the smallest of sobs when Noah took his time, lips ghosting over me. By now I was almost begging and when I finally felt the wet flick of his tongue against my clit, I breathed out a shaky curse. Noah pressed the fullness of his tongue against my lips, licking me up from the bottom to the top, spreading my legs wider apart. I bit my hand to keep the noises at bay.

"I want to hear you," he left a gentle bit on the inside of my thigh.

"Fuck," I moaned when his tongue speared inside of me for a few strokes.

My hands now grasped at the blanket beneath me as I raised my hips farther into his mouth, his lips wrapping around my clit to bite and suck at the bundle of nerves. I always thought my Gspot was in my clit because it was hard to have an orgasm any other way than rubbing myself. Without even telling Noah this, it was as if he knew exactly what my body needed.

It happened so fast, before I knew it he was devouring me like a dying man. I’ve never felt euphoria until now; this must be how it feels to see the moon, the moon that changes its orbit. He had me spinning.

"I love the way you taste, angel." Noah broke away from my clit for a second before diving back it.

The familiar feeling of an orgasm built in my stomach, the tension pulling so fucking tight it was seconds away from snapping. My spine tingled with anticipation as my body tensed, knees shaking underneath Noah as he rubbed his tongue in faster but shorter circles, moaning with the taste that lingered on his lips.

"N-noah. 'M so close," I let my head fall back deeper into the mattress.

"Let go, I've got you."

With a strangled breath, I let the orgasm crash through me like a tsunami, a bright white light edging at the corners of my eyes while Noah licked me through the last few aftershocks. As my breathing calmed, I lifted my head in time to see him stand to his feet, stepping out of his joggers only to stand in front of me in his black briefs.

I licked my lips when I saw his cock straining against the confines of the material until he palmed himself in a few strokes.

"Do you want me to stop?" He asked.

I shook my head with desperation clear in my voice. "No, please. I need this-I need you, Noah."

He cursed before sliding off his briefs with desperation and urgency, his hard cock springing against his thigh, and I nearly died at that sight alone. All of my imagination did nothing compared to the real thing, and I'd be lying if I said I wasn't scared for a few different reasons. Sex with Trey was uncomfortable but with Noah's size, I feared it would only hurt. The only saving grace was that he worked me open and the added wetness would make up for the slight pain.

"Are you on anything?" Noah asked while kneeling between my legs.

A lot of different shit.

"No," I said.

He leaned over to a bag that lay at the foot of the bed and rummaged around for a few seconds before retrieving a condom. I watched with anticipation as pre-cum seeped out of the slit when he ripped it open and slid it over his length then perched himself between my legs again, the head of his cock pressing gently against me. He wrapped one of my legs around his hip then slowly, sunk deep inside of me, and I bit my tongue hard to keep my strangled cry quiet. I knew there was going to be some pain; it was inevitable, but I didn't expect it to feel so good either.

"Fuck," Noah rested his forehead against my collarbone. "So tight."

He didn't move at first, relishing in the way I felt gripping his cock, and I couldn't take it anymore; I needed him to move.

"Noah," I begged while grinding against him.

One hand gripping my thigh, the other was placed next to my head to keep himself supported as he finally moved his hips in slow, deep strokes.

"Faster," I panted, almost pleading.

Slow was good but right now I needed fast.

Noah accepted my pleas and began slamming into me with such force, I cried out in name with a mixture of pleasure and pain. My hand slipped between our bodies to rub at my clit, hoping that the sensation would ease the pain a bit, but it could only do so much.

He noticed something was wrong with the way my face contorted in pain. "Angel, do you want to get on top?"

"Fuck yes, please."

Still buried deep inside of me, Noah rolled our bodies so now I was straddling him and almost immediately, the pain subsided; it was still there but not as strong. My hands sprawled over the tattoos that covered his chest as I leaned down to lick my way across the snake and apple on his neck. The noise he made, and his moans were so soft as my hot tongue went up and down his neck, I grazed over his Adam's apple with my teeth and bit down. Noah shook underneath me as he wrapped an arm around my back to hold me closer, burying his thick, aching cock, deeper inside of me.

We felt the rush, the aching, burning blush. We surrendered to the touch. I gave him a show. This is heaven in hiding.

"Angel," he begged as my teeth worked on leaving a mark against the hand on his neck. "I need-."

"What do you need?" I ground my hips against his pelvis and the sensation sent sparks to my clit and I clenched around him.

"Fuck," he cursed. "Don't stop what you're doing. It feels so good."

"Oh," I bit down on a new patch of skin on his throat. "This?"

"Yes," he dragged out the S for a few seconds.

My hands went to run through his hair but I almost forgot in our haste that I braided it a few minutes before this.

"Angel," Noah's voice was raw. "You have no idea how much I've wanted you."

I sat up slowly to stare down at him in awe as his words made me feel unspeakable things.

In one quick action, his hand snaked behind my head to pull my lips back down to him to kiss me feverishly.

"Noah," I tugged on his braids.

"Shit, give me a minute. I can take them out."

I didn't stop moving my hips against him. "Noah. I-."

"Just second, angel."

His hands left their vice grip on my hips to take out his hair but I quickly slapped his hands while sinking deeper on his cock. "Leave them."

The same sensation of a cresting orgasm filled every inch of me, ecstasy shooting through my veins like a drug, and when Noah's thumb pressed fast circles against my clit, I leaned my head up towards the ceiling, lips parting as my hands wrapped around his braids, pulling with such force he choked on my name. I rode Noah faster, needing that last little bit of friction to tip me over the edge and when I finally let the bliss plow through me in droves, I held my breath.

"Angel," Noah cupped my cheek so I could look down at him. "Breathe through it with me."

I did as he said, both of us breathing out my orgasm as our eyes locked intently with each other. I writhed against him, my arousal soaking the condom and parts of his hips. It was such a simple action but the way it set my body on fire intensified the aftershocks to something I'd never experienced. Noah stared down to the place where we met and with a noisy moan, he wrapped an arm tighter around me to pull me flush against his chest as his hips stilled for a second before he emptied himself inside the condom.

NOAH

I pressed light kisses all along Y/N's shoulder blades, in shock and almost slight jealousy as I took in every inch of the large tattoo that covered her back. It was of a large snake that wrapped along every groove of her spine with an array of different Japanese flowers.

Afterward, I let her fall onto the mattress with a happy sigh, immediately grasping the pillow closer to her chest and that's when I noticed the tattoo.

"I can't believe I've never noticed this before," I mused while running a finger over the ink.

"It's taken like two years to complete. It's my second favorite after the one on my leg of the Gods," she rested her chin on her palm. "You know what I just realized? We have similar tattoo themes; copy cat."

Her finger grazed over the snake and apple along my neck.

"Yeah," I chuckled. "All you need is an apple right here."

I smacked right above her ass and she shrieked while falling into the pillow once again, a long but content sigh falling from her lips. I kissed from between her shoulder blades down her back, my nails grazing beyond the wake of my lips.

"Are you okay?" I wondered while gently squeezing her hips.

“Yeah, I think so. I feel content, just basking in it. You?”

I nodded and kissed the side of her head as I lay next to her. "I feel great."

"Do you know what you want in 10 years?" Y/N blurted out.

“That’s a random question” I chuckled while kissing her lips.

She sighed and looked up at me through her lashes. “I know but think about it, like really think about it?”

I thought deeply about her question, fingers still grazing her spine. “Alright I’ll bite, I don’t know, I’ve always been trying to make it with whatever bullshit has been going on in my fucking life- just wanting to mean something to somebody, make music- for anybody out there to listen. To be the fucking king you know?”

She laughs. "And?"

"Way down the road maybe one day in the future- to live in the middle of nowhere with a dog, cats, and a family of my own. In my wooden home that I built."

Y/N's body went rigid with my words.

"But right now, no dog, no family just…just Bad Omens," I finished with a hopeful breath.

She hummed in response but turned her head to face the wall opposite of us, something bothering her. Not wanting to push it, I left another kiss on her spine before I slipped out of bed to discard of the condom in the bathroom trash, a light red color catching my attention.

Once back in the room, I slipped back underneath the covers.

"Angel?"

Another hum vibrated from her throat, sleep weighing heavy on her shoulders.

"Did you get your period?"

I swore I saw all the breath leave her body with my question and my mind panicked, thinking she was embarrassed.

"It's fine," I rubbed her back soothingly. "I just saw some blood on the condom, that's all."

When she still said nothing, I nudged her face with my nose. "Are you alright?"

"Yep," she said quietly.

"Stay till morning?" I asked, hopefully.

Finally, she turned to face me and left a kiss on my nose. "I have to go."

My heart fell into the dark pits of my stomach as I watched her slip out from underneath the sheet to gather her clothes. "What's wrong?"

"It's nothing, Noah." She slipped back into her clothes rather quickly. "I just have an early flight to catch and I know you have one too."

I shook my head and stood to my feet while slipping my briefs and joggers back on. "I don't buy that. We were great, where did you go just now?"

She doesn't want to leave, I can see that in the way her movements slowed once she was dressed, almost as if she was buying time for me to say something that would change her mind. But she refused to meet my gaze.

"Angel, look at me. What's the matter?" I asked again.

"Nothing-," she began with a sigh.

"Then why won't you stay?"

The fear of her slipping between my fingers was debilitating.

"Noah, you know I can’t; we can’t," Y/N stumbled over her words.

I stretched my arms out wide at my sides. "Why? Why can’t you?"

With her gaze still cast down to her feet, she shook her head. "You don’t want me Noah, trust me, you don’t want any part of this."

"Bullshit," I spat as my anger got the best of me.

Y/N's head snapped up towards me, finally looking me in my eyes and all I saw in hers were the wetness of tears. "I have this condition that already makes my life harder every fucking month. I don't need to bring you into it and ruin our future, alright?"

My heart stopped for a few seconds. "Condition? What the fuck, are you dying or something? I don't know what the hell this means."

"No," she rushed out. "I'm not dying. I-I don't want to get into this right now. All I know is that I would need you a lot more than you'd need me. And you deserve better than me, anyway."

"Don't-" I started while pointing a finger at her.

She ran a distressed hand through her hair. "You know it’s true Noah, please. This is hard enough as it is. Walking out right now."

The bed stood between us and I hated feeling so far from her even though we were still in the same room so I walked around it, standing a few inches in front of her now.

"I’ve been through a lot of shit in my life too, Y/N. Don’t sit there and tell me what I can and can’t handle. Don’t sit there and tell me what I want or don’t want. You’re just so afraid of us," I pointed between us.

She grasped her elbows to hug herself and I could see the way her mind was running, gears turning hastily. Y/N was shutting down in front of me and I fucking hated it.

"Don’t fucking do that. I’m not him," I assured her with a gentler tone.

All of this was a trauma response, something so embedded deep into her brain that it was the only way she knew how to act. I know she felt the same way that I did; it was clear with what happened not even an hour ago. If she didn't feel the way I did, she wouldn't have shown up tonight. Y/N wants to stay, I can see it in the way her eyes keep darting to the bed but the pain and trauma were too deep.

"I’m sorry angel, I just- you’re wrong. I know how I feel about you, and I know what you feel about me."

I went to reach for her hands but she took a step back, a few tears falling to the ground below.

"I know what I feel. It’s not you, it’s me, Noah."

Not that fucking line.

"No. Fuck, angel! Stop! The future hasn't even happened yet. Please, don't-what do you need to happen?"

Her bottom lip trembled as a broken sob clawed its wait through her throat. "I-I think we need to remain friends right now. I can't-I can't get lost in you, Noah. It's so fucking easy to. I think we need space."

"I-I don't fucking want that, Y/N. I just want you."

"Noah, please understand where I'm coming from," she begged.

I paced the room, hands shaking in anger. Defeat? I wasn't sure.

"Angel-I. Please, just-," I eventually sighed in defeat.

"I'm going to head out."

Y/N nodded towards the door after gathering her things and stepped past me to leave.

The fear of losing her completely is what made me give in to her wishes. As much as I wanted to fight her choice, I needed her as a friend more than something more. I'll take what I can get for right now until she realizes she feels the same; I know she does.

As she opened the door, my feet closed the distance between us in two large steps and I grasped her chin, forcing her to look at me. The tears burned with the need to fall but she held fast and strong, refusing to show me how badly walking away was affecting her.

I brushed my lips across hers in a soft kiss. "I can wait for you."

She tried to disagree but my grip was too strong. "Noah- I can’t ask you to do that. That’s not fair. You deserve-"

“Don’t tell me what you think I deserve." I let out a shaky breath. "Look, heaven knows I’m not getting over you, I can wait”

“Besides. I’m known for having a lot of fuckin patience. I will wait." I finished with a shrug.

If I wasn't already staring intently at her, I almost would have missed the small nod she gave me; but I didn't. I saw it.

“Goodnight Noah.”

With one final kiss, not enough to remember the way she tastes, Y/N let the door shut behind her as I burned my hateful gaze through it. She left? How the fuck could she just leave after the night we had together?

No, fuck that.

I barreled through the door in time to notice she was only two doors down, frozen in her spot.

"Angel," I called after her.

Slowly, she turned, and I sucked in a breath when I saw the redness in her eyes, puffy with teh tears she let out as soon as the door closed. Mine mirrored hers.

"Please," I begged. "Just come back to me. I'll wait for you."

Y/N hesitated but within that hesitation, something stood out clear as day; she took a small step towards me until that doubt filled the back of her mind yet again. I stayed in the hallway watching as she turned the corner, disappearing from my vision and life; my words not being enough to make her stay.

Back inside the room, I let the door slam shut and made a beeline toward the minibar. I screwed off the cap of the Hennessy, downing half of it in one go.

"Bitter ends to the night. I'm along for the ride," I raised the bottle in the air before taking another long, slow gulp with my eyes screwed shut.

Suddenly, they snapped open, and I rummaged around the mess of my room for my phone, quickly typing out a text to Jolly.

I need to write a song, now.

Only a few minutes passed before he responded, just enough time for me to pop open another bottle.

Now? It's three in the morning and we have nothing here.

Doesn't fucking matter. I'll figure it out. Come to my room.

Letting the bottle slip from my fingers, I stalked over to the wall and slid down until my ass hit the floor with a thud; the image of Y/N crying and walking away burned into my brain. I was out of breath, out of time trying to stop her but, in the end, everything has a price. And I was paying for it. 

[aysekira]

Being a cdrama fan is frankly exhausting, you can't just enjoy the creativity and stories bc there are a 100 behind the scenes considerations and changes happening all the time. I know most industries don't respect writers but chinese dramas take the cake, they're the least respected when their work is the most important, it's why so many dramas end up being horrible. And these new regulations are so frustrating because some shows need 50 or 60 or 70 episodes, nirvana in fire joy of life ming lan, already a lot of shows are cutting their episodes so they air at the same time instead of waiting 12 months, how the hell are you going to tell a 60 or 55 episode story in 40 or less episodes? They keep adding these insane rules as if they're trying to kill the industry outright, you can't make harem shows, you can't make queer shows even if they're sanitized to high heaven, lord forbid couples have sex or sometimes even kiss like normal people, you can't have reincarnation which is why we end up with so many shitty rushed xianxia endings they can't give us more. Sometimes you find something so great it makes all the mess worth it but the way they're going they're not going to leave room for even the tiny tiny slivers, the 0.01% of dramas that are great that somehow manage to make it through the cracks despite their best efforts. It's clear their is something very wrong with the industry when they make 400 dramas a year yet not even 40 of them are good, it's truly the wild west out there bc most of these dramas you'd watch them and think they're money laundering schemes bc no way this actually got made. They need to stop caring about pretty faces and paying them insane amounts of money and start hiring good writers but I'm not going to hold my breath... Sorry for the rant I just had to let this out lmao

let it all out anon: this is a safe space :) i wholly agree with everything you said since i'm a firm believer in that while you could aim for a very tight, cohesive&coherent writings (which i assume would be the aim of this rule); there's only so much you could tell before that compression ceiling hits& all hell broke loose in terms of story telling.

to add more to your examples, i cackled in imagining just how absurd it would be if NEF, rebel princess, secret advisors, three kingdoms cut down to those limits at it might result in qi heng being non existent (minglan), advisors being a singular advisor instead& more. and those, like your examples are the kind of dramas that (similar to the examples mentioned) needed the length to fully flesh out their dimensions.

i do not know what to say to make you feel better about it but my personal approach (esp recently) is just to have no hope about it, zero expectations-- then if it turns out to be good; it'll be a very nice surprise (personal example: currently airing LYF. i expected nothing&even side eyeing it a bit before it airs because well uh the casts&promos shown didn't tickle my fancy one bit back then-- and now it's practically my current obsession)& if it's not then it'll be just a passerby of a show and no investment (time/interest) was made whatsoever :)

or may i suggest venturing more to kdramaland as they have all sorts of good ones recently/currently airing (19th life, my dearest& lovely liar to name a few)& i heard from a very trusted source (@dangermousie) they have quite the stack waiting in line to air some of which you could see from the poll here: https://www.tumblr.com/dangermousie/725177465537003520/the-sageukcostume-kdrama-you-are-most-looking?source=share

you have a good day now anon :)

[watchinghallmark]

Okay! I'm so excited to have the big movie announcement out today!! I still maintain that 40 is too many even if like none of you agree. This is the first time I'm going through the list so I'll react as I go! Under the cut because it's a little long.

Checkin' It Twice - Love Kevin and have really enjoyed Kim. Sounds like a cute plot and he gets to be Canadian and play hockey so that's fun.

Where Are You, Christmas? - What a fun concept with having it in black and white! I'm into the cast for this one.

Under the Christmas Sky - Excited to see Jessica in a movie and Ryan, of course. Could be interesting. Love to see some disability representation.

Ms. Christmas Comes to Town - Interesting concept. People love their home shopping. I used to watch it all the time actually haha

Christmas by Design - Meh about this one.

Mystic Christmas - Not sure I understand the plot of this one but decent cast.

Joyeux Noel - So happy Jaicy is back and in France!

My Christmas Guide - This feels very Guiding Emily but I'm here for the representation. The actor is visually impaired so that's a plus!

Flipping for Christmas - They randomly include a clip of this movie in the Fall into Love promo. Anyway. Could be cute.

Never Been Chris'd - Obviously can't wait for this one!

The Santa Summit - A Hallmark movie about bar hopping! Love it.

Mystery on Mistletoe Lane - I like Victor. This sounds pretty cute with the kids.

Everything Christmas - Fun concept with roommates.

Christmas Island - Kind of a weird plot but should be fun with Andrew and Rachel.

A Heidelberg Holiday - Excited to see a Christmas movie in Germany!

A World Record Christmas - Love that we're getting some autism awareness this Christmas!

Navigating Christmas - Sounds fine.

A Merry Scottish Christmas - Should be a good one!

Holiday Hotline - This sounds really adorable.

A Season for Family - We need more movies about adoption, honestly.

Catch Me If You Claus - Ridiculous and I can't wait!

Letters to Santa - Could be cute.

Holiday Road - An 'inspired by true events' road trip. Okay.

Christmas in Notting Hill - Really looking forward to this one! It got the coveted Saturday after Thanksgiving spot which means Hallmark is also excited about it.

Haul Out the Holly: Lit Up - Did we need a sequel? I'm sure it'll be really fun.

Our Christmas Mural - Meh about this one too.

A Biltmore Christmas - Very excited about this one!

Time for Her to Come Home for Christmas - Can we be done with this series?

My Norwegian Holiday - You had me at 'troll figurine'.

A Not So Royal Christmas - This sounds really fun.

Christmas with a Kiss - Not much to go off of with this one.

To All a Good Night - I always love Kimberley.

Magic in Mistletoe - Damage control? Sounds fun.

Miracle in Bethlehem, PA - New baby!! Cute.

Friends & Family Christmas - FAKE DATING LESBIANS!!! It's a Christmas miracle!

Sealed with a List - Could be fun.

The Secret Gift of Christmas - Excited to see Meghan back but a little meh about this.

Heaven Down Here - Love a good stranding.

Round and Round - Super weird and I'm here for it (for for Bryan!!).

Christmas on Cherry Lane - This sounds good.

[mlobsters]

supernatural s1e12 faith (w. sera gamble, raelle tucker)

(this is a rewatch so spoilers abound)

same old story, i'm struggling. mostly convinced my depression (and/or the meds) just shuffle my executive function around but never increase it. imagine a yahtzee cup shaking the dice around, let's see what i get this time

very pretty and reminiscent of xfiles, but better car. cue me searching for the oldsmobile that wasn't terrible in the xf movie, which then i run into the firefox/yt bug so i have to wait 5 minutes for an incredibly shitty recording of a tv playing an xf/oldsmobile intrigue promo to load. this is going great. maybe i don't wanna see our dean get electrocuted

cracking up that they kinda ran into each other. literally attached at the hip. this whole rawhead thing, feels like the actual monstery monsters thing just largely went by the wayside after s1

DEAN Yeah. All right, well, looks like you're gonna leave town without me. SAM What are you talking about? I'm not gonna leave you here. DEAN Hey, you better take care of that car. Or, I swear, I'll haunt your ass. SAM I don't think that's funny. DEAN Oh, come on, it's a little funny.

always hard to watch dean being so ready to die. this being the more acceptance of the consequences of hunting type, but watching it with the weight of every other time it's going to happen pushing down on me, buh.

DEAN Look, Sammy, what can I say, man, it's a dangerous gig. I drew the short straw. That's it, end of story. SAM Don't talk like that, alright? We still have options. DEAN What options? Yeah, burial or cremation. And I know it's not easy. But I'm gonna die. And you can't stop it. SAM Watch me.

heaven help whoever gets in the way of sam saving dean

SAM Hey, Dad. It's Sam. Uh... you probably won't even get this, but, uh... it's Dean. He's sick, and uh... the doctors say there's nothing they can do. Um... but, uh, they don't know the things we know, right? So, don't worry, cause I'm uh... gonna do whatever it takes to get him better. Alright... just wanted you to know.

dean's dying but can't count on john for anything, of course. and a little sam/jared nail biting moment

DEAN Well, I'm not gonna die in a hospital where the nurses aren't even hot.

come home to hot nurse sammy *rimshot*

SAM You know, this whole I-laugh-in-the-face-of-death thing? It's crap. I can see right through it. DEAN Yeah, whatever, dude. Have you even slept? You look worse than me.

i spy with my little eye their wee printer back there. sammy in socks, dean in not-logger boots. also i think because of how he dresses a lot of times but jackles really does have long legs. and occasionally will get a shot of them like whoa, right.

SAM I've been scouring the Internet for the last three days. Calling every contact in Dad's journal. DEAN For what? SAM For a way to help you. One of Dad's friends, Joshua, he called me back. Told me about a guy in Nebraska. A specialist. DEAN You're not gonna let me die in peace, are you? SAM I'm not gonna let you die, period. We're going.

i know that's right!

always here for grumpy weak puppy dean getting annoyed with sam mother henning him. i ended up making all the gifs because it's cute and makes me laugh

DEAN Man, you are a lying bastard. Thought you said we were going to see a doctor. SAM I believe I said a specialist.

cracking me up. it's not my fault you assumed medical specialist 😌

s1e11 julie benz as layla rourke / dexter s1e1 as rita bennett

funny, in an effort to watch something instead of zoning out and being miserable in the evening the other day i put on dexter, i have watched half of the first episode 🥴 but i did meet her character!

YOUNG WOMAN Maybe God works in mysterious ways. DEAN Maybe he does. I think you just turned me around on the subject. YOUNG WOMAN Yeah, I'm sure. DEAN I'm Dean. This is Sam. YOUNG WOMAN Layla. So, if you're not a believer, then why are you here? DEAN Well, apparently my brother here believes enough for the both of us.

sam's little smile to that ❤️

DEAN This is ridiculous. (He slaps SAM's hands away) I'm good, dude, get off me.

😂

truly, worth the price of admission alone

SAM Look, Dean, do we really have to look this one in the mouth? Why can't we just be thankful that the guy saved your life and move on? DEAN Because I can't shake this feeling, that's why. SAM What feeling? DEAN When I was healed, I just... I felt wrong. I felt cold. And for a second... I saw someone. This, uh, this old man. And I'm telling you, Sam, it was a spirit. SAM But if there was something there, Dean, I think I would've seen it, too. I mean, I've been seeing an awful lot of things lately. DEAN Well, excuse me, psychic wonder. But you're just gonna need a little faith on this one. Sam, I've been hunting long enough to trust a feeling like this.

psychic wonder :p sam's little pinched face when dean says he needs to have faith lol harrumph. yeah yeah some guy died, but you're fine so let's go!

s1e12 kevin mcnulty as reverend legrange

i did a hiky for kevin mcnulty for is appearance in spn 10x06, he was in the killing and the magicians too

ROY Well, like I said before, the Lord guides me. I looked into your heart, and you just stood out from all the rest. DEAN What did you see in my heart? ROY A young man with an important purpose. A job to do. And it isn't finished.

i don't remember if they go into this any more but i wonder how much of this was hinting at the long game (nevermind roy doesn't actually have any powers that we know of). could work for all manner of points along the story within the s1-5 arc for him though

s1e12 gillian barber as mrs rourke / s12e17 as dr hess / the x-files s2e10 as beth kane / under the banner of heaven s1e4 as sister dorren

she's been in a couple of my things too, including four (4!) episodes of the xfiles and uh, she was dr hess in s12 of spn for 3 episodes?? lol no wonder she was familiar. i guess i didn't look her up

oof, that small "i'm sorry" from sam got me. so this scene originally has don't fear the reaper by blue oyster cult, clip here if interested. i don't know that i think it fits that much better, feels like it's just too cheekily appropriate they had to use it somewhere.

i appreciate the dividers not being some godawful cheesy thing but i'm also laughing at how big this motel room is. and full ass kitchen basically, only vaguely kitchenette in the fact that the fridge and stove are like. 3/4 size. it's a cool set but i often think their motel sets are bonkers in one way or another regardless

SAM Wait, what the hell are you talking about Dean, we can't kill Roy. DEAN Sam, the guy's playing God, he's deciding who lives and who dies. That's a monster in my book. SAM No. We're not going to kill a human being Dean. We do that we're no better than he is. DEAN Ok, we cant kill Roy, we can't kill Death. Any bright ideas, college boy? SAM Ok. uh...If Roy's using some kind of black spell on the reaper, we gotta...figure out what it is. And how to break it.

honestly don't think dean at this point in time would actually jump to killing the human instead of breaking the spell but whatevs :p i can take the somewhat out of character things like dean saying he's proud of sam in s1 and hold tight to them and discard the ones i don't like, like this :P maybe it's because he feels wracked with guilt! who knows!

COP 1 We catch you round here again son, we'll put the fear of God in you, understand? DEAN Yes sir, fear of God. Got it.

can't resist being a smartass to cops

LAYLA I wish you luck. I really do. DEAN Same to you. Layla turns to walk away again. DEAN (under his breath) You deserve it a lot more than me.

sneak in some of that patented dean self loathing

DEAN Desperate. Her husband was dying, she didn't have anything to save him. She was using the binding spell to keep the reaper away from Roy.

sounds familiar 🤔

DEAN May God save us from half the people who think they're doing God's work.

amen to that

just happen to whip up a color picture of dean. wonder if she has a printer or she takes it to the 1 hour photo

and dean doesn't even try to get away from the reaper, like yeah. should be dead anyway, and let layla live. just what he wanted

DEAN We did the right thing here didn't we? SAM Of course we did. DEAN (hanging his head) It doesn't feel like it.

(especially when the right thing means dean gets to live)

DEAN Must be rough. To believe in something so much, and have it disappoint you.

like *cough* your dad?? lol

LAYLA God works in mysterious ways. Goodbye, Dean.

mmmk. the draft script says she kissed him, glad they didn't go there

DEAN Well... I'm not much of the praying type... but... I'm gonna pray for you. LAYLA Well...There's a miracle right there.

🤔 ok lol

physically incapable of shutting up about these early episodes

[casspurrjoybell-26]

💖Sweet Revenge💖 - Chapter 20

*Warning Adult Content*

Blake Welling

Aaron's been working hard lately, as usual.

Both sides of our business are doing great but his is legitimately booming and as if the candy wasn't enough, he's expanded to catering as well.

Some other business refused to cater a lesbian wedding and Aaron stepped in and offered to give it a shot, pro bono.

It went so well, he ended up booked through the end of the year.

I understand and it's not like he's been neglecting me or anything but sometimes I just want to take him away somewhere, tie him up, fuck him hard and teach him to relax.

Not necessarily in that order. 

Ten minutes of wallowing is enough and I force myself to get up and decide what to do with the rest of the day.

I'd taken it off and I'd thought Aaron would too.

Now I don't know what to do with myself.

I decide to go for a ride.

I love my bike.

It's a top brand and I got it at a steep discount through a promo deal with the shop.

It's way beyond anything I'd be able to afford otherwise.

Besides Aaron, it's my baby.

I can't ride like I once did... a hundred miles at a time, pushing through pain and fatigue just for the reward of knowing what my body can do... but recently I've at least been able to get back into the rhythm of regular rides.

I take a series of back streets and side roads, skirting the busier areas.

When it comes to traffic, I'm still a little gun-shy but there's a paved bike trail on the edge of town and it's peacefully deserted at this time of day.

I ride its whole ten-mile length... farther than I've gone so far.

Taking my time, with plenty of stops to rest my leg, I get back home around noon, hang my bike up in the garage and go in for a shower.

When I come out, wrapped in a loose towel, a noise makes me freeze.

It sounds like someone dropping something in the kitchen but I'm the only one at home.

Heart in my mouth, I creep forward down the hall.

On the way, I grab a framed picture from the wall.

It's not much of a weapon but it's the only thing at hand.

In the frame, Aaron laughs up at me while I grin at the camera.

My mom took it the last time she visited.

Rounding the corner, I prepare to defend my home with life and limb, deadly picture-frame in hand.

What I see sends all thoughts of violence... all thoughts of any kind, actually... fleeing my mind like doves released en masse.

Aaron stands at the stove, stirring something in a small saucepan and humming to himself.

That isn't so odd.

I've seen that plenty of times.

What's different is that he's wearing nothing but his candy-making apron.

It's tied loosely around his slender waist, the tails trailing over his bare ass and swaying between his legs as he rocks gently to whatever tune is playing in his head.

I make some noise... probably a sort of choking, gagging sound and he turns towards me, lips spreading in that beautiful smile I love so much.

His bare shoulders and arms look pale and graceful and I don't know why the hell  it turns me on so much, seeing him like this, except that it's the two things I love most in this world reduced to their barest elements... this man and his candy.

"Aaron...?" my voice is strained and breathless.

He lifts a silicone spatula from the saucepan.

It's dripping chocolate in silky strands.

He gives a quick twist with his wrist, twirling the ribbons and then brings it to his mouth and licks it, red tongue turning dark with molten sweet.

He swallows and bites his lip.

"Almost ready," he says, eyes locked on mine.

On the counter, a plate of strawberries waits.

I move towards him, wondering if maybe I've had a heart attack and my body is lying dead in the shower or something because this looks like heaven.

He turns back to the pan, stirring the contents with the lazy self-assurance of the professional.

I come and stand at his back, breathing in the scent of him and trail my fingers from his shoulders down his lightly muscled arms.

"Uh-uh," he chides, prying my hands off with the handle of his spatula.

"No touching. Not yet."

He smirks.

"What? Did you think I forgot?"

"Uh... yes."

He laughs.

It's a low, sinful sound.

"Now back off, before you get burned."

I do as he says but instead of heaven, now I'm in some kind of chocolate-themed hell, watching and not allowed to touch.

I realize I'm still wrapped in nothing but the towel and that I'm painfully erect.

Two can play at this game.

I let the towel fall and wait for him to turn.

When he does, his eyes drop and go dark.

He licks his lips.

"Well... dip me in chocolate and call me a banana pop," he says.

I should be used to it by now but it still makes me choke and I have to yield the victory.

As ever, he wins.

"Not long now," he assures me.

The strawberries are perfect... long-stemmed and just the right size for a single bite, plump and red.

He takes each by the stem between his finger and thumb and dips them expertly in the melted chocolate.

Then he sets them on a sheet of wax paper cool.

When the last is done, he dips his own fingers in the cooling chocolate and comes towards me, rolling his hips.

He slides his fingers past my lips, across my tongue.

"Suck," he demands.

I suck him clean.

When he withdraws his fingers, a string of saliva trails from my mouth.

He wipes his fingers on his apron and then his mouth is on mine, hot and wet and hungry.

"Do you want me?" he asks, when he comes up for air, lips swollen and slick.

The question is rhetorical.

"God... yes."

His smile stretches a little wider.

"Did you really think I forgot?"

"I... yes."

"I love you Blake Welling but you're an idiot sometimes."

I can't argue.

Most of my blood is below my waist, for one thing.

He takes my hand and pulls me into the living room.

There, he kisses me again, sucking my tongue like it's one of his strawberries.

"Lie down," he says, hands on my shoulders, pushing me to my knees.

I do as he says, lying back on the carpet.

He kneels over me.

I can't see what he's doing behind the drape of his apron but I feel it when he takes me in his hand and guides the head of my cock to his hole.

"Wait..." I gasp.

"Are you ready?"

He grins.

"That was a long ride you went on, babe. I'm more than ready and now it's my turn."

He throws his head back and impales himself on my length in a single, swift motion.

I can't breathe.

"Oh God... fuck," I gasp, struggling for air.

"That's the idea," he says, smirking.

He rides me, taking his own pleasure, slow and sensuous.

I see the red tip of his tongue against his lips and he gasps softly as he moves with me inside him.

Finally, I can't bear it anymore and he knows it.

He gives himself to me hard and fast.

A cry... tears itself from my lips... as I come and he thrusts down, taking me deep.

Slowly, he pulls off me, my softening shaft slicked with lube and my own spill.

His mouth finds mine once more.

"Happy birthday, you sick fuck," he says.

"Don't expect this every year."

~♡♡♡~ ~The End~ ~♡♡♡~

[callunavulgari]

Scrapbook 2024 | June

And we're back on schedule. Recs at the bottom, as always. To be updated throughout the month.

For anyone that’s new to this, this is how I keep track of all of the things that I enjoy and/or create throughout the year. I have literally been doing this since I had a livejournal.

It’s a nice little snippet of my life and helps to organize my brain.

A reminder:

Normal font - Indifferent/Neutral Italicized font - Enjoyed bold font - Loved with an asterisk* - All time favorite (bracketed titles) - Re-watches/Re-reads strikethough - Disliked

Goals are: read 70 books and write at least 50k of original content.

Past Years

MOVIES

Challengers

Godzilla Minus One

Velvet Buzzsaw

(The Lego Movie)

(LotR: Fellowship)

TV SHOWS

(The Owl House, s1, s2, s3)

(Gravity Falls, s2)

Derry Girls

Bridgerton, s3

3 Body Problem

YOUTUBE CHANNELS

Beryl Shereshewsky

Inga Lam

BOOKS

The Pairing by Casey McQuiston** [Fin]

Gwen & Art Are Not In Love by Lex Croucher [Fin]

My Heart is a Chainsaw by Stephen Jones [Fin]

PODCASTS

The Magnus Protocol* (!!!!!!!!!)

(The Magnus Archives)

VIDEO GAMES

Stardew Valley, Dipper - all the hours

POSTED FIC

N/A

WIPS | UNPUBLISHED | ORIGINAL

Misc for Big Bang

Misc for Star Wars Steddie

Misc for Siren Steddie

Misc for Stevie PWP

Fanmixes/Spotify Playlists/Graphics

BB Brochure for SteddieBB Promo

out there (somewhere) in the woods

FIC RECS

backslide by spqr | Challengers | Art/Patrick | 4k | “So,” Patrick says, after an awkward minute. “I’m still your emergency contact.”

brutalizer by spqr | Challengers | Art/Tashi/Patrick | 8k | “If you win tomorrow,” Tashi tells Patrick, "I’ll let you fuck him.”

a romantic fool by spqr | Challengers | Art/Tashi/Patrick | 10k | “She’s not yours, Art. She’s Patrick’s.” Art just laughs. “You think I don’t know she’s fucking Patrick’s?”

fire & holy smoke by spqr | Challengers | Art/Patrick | 10k | “My doubles partner sprained his ankle,” is what he says, standing in the tunnel to the locker rooms, feet bare in slides and hands twisted up in the hem of his t-shirt. “I was hoping you could tap in.”

blue skies over suburbia by Thisusernameisunavailable | Stranger Things | Steddie | 7k | E | Eddie has a reputation for selling exactly what the boys of Hawkins High are searching for- with a bonus prize if you're lucky and happen to be Steve Harrington.

secrets in the night by kazhan | ST | Billy/Eddie | 7k | Wanna bet? is a familiar taunt between them; it’s fun, mostly harmless, and Eddie is always happy to take Billy up on it.

A word, a look, will be enough by feyburner | Batman | Tim/Jason | 14k | Hey. This is Jason. I have a favor to ask. You can say no.

It’s like a hundred ninety-nine degrees by feyburner | Batman | Tim/Jason | 6k | He can’t remember how it started, later.

Can't Wait Anymore by Miku | ST | Steve/Eddie | 29k | ‘Heaven’ he thinks before a tinge of his snark breaks through with a scoffed ‘hospital’ . He passes out before he can decide which part of himself to believe; the nihilistic young adult, or the frightened child.

favorite song by kazhan | ST | Billy/Eddie | 31k | Billy Hargrove is everything Eddie despises: a jock, popular and always with a different girl on his arm, a mean, loud asshole who walks around like he both owns the place and hates being here and everyone around him.

King For A Day by entanglednow | ST | Steddie | 12k | Steve stumbles across something unexpected while trying to close up Scoops, and learns that he and Eddie Munson have more in common than he thought.

FANVID RECS

Eddie Munson; So What

Rage cannot stay inside.

DUNE | Feyd-Rautha Harkonnen

(Dune) Lady Jessica | Holy War

MUSIC RECS

this playlist

citta vuota - mina

labyrinth - miracle musical

stalker's tango - autoheart

cog in the machine - franklyn lubsey

[theorist-influencer-untitled]

11.27.23 Monday

6:46 pm

I still have windblow...Here again with Ely, still don't have cable wifi coz of tight budgeting and hoping that Dasca cable will still give me that promo... Whew! I don't know...

I feel fat and ugly and still trying to control not to gain that much... Still, thinking of money and job and tomorrow will apply, I need to get a job in a call center world again... Not bad! Just there in MOA's world...

Hmm... I received something from Iqor about the Esalad it is a loan for employee, I just don't get it, so weird! Still, waiting for mail coming from HR coz my rewave is approved but I haven't received anything yet... I need to get a job and money soon coz we are having tight budgeting. Still, no new class for me to join in Iqor... Weird!

Not really my ideal life, I mean I posted here that there are wealthy people who entered call center just for experience or a challenge for them or fresh graduate or people who are still in middle-class but mostly people from the crowd just like me these days... I'm so tight again and not my ideal life but this is reality life... I mean I feel envious on people who can still apply and maintain their middle-class status but I know they are as well mature. Well, people in call center are mixed but mostly "CROWD"...

But it is a challenge for me to master that fucking calling2x job and I wanna reach the product manager. There is an emotion inside me that I can't let go if I can't reach the perfection but still I have no choice but to commute and get a job...

I don't like anybody here but still thinking of the penis of Borgy. Literally I'm thinking of penis of Borgy Manotoc... I don't know, it is in my head now or on my comic strip.

Mia suggested me to apply in Task Us here in Imus Cavite but I think in Cavite they are having a hard time to get an account like T-Mobile... I remembered I applied there and I was in but the account was on a process... The good feature on Task Us, they have "sauna" room... It is kinda heaven, there in Iqor, they just have billiard table in the canteen on the 3rd floor...

I still plan to perfect my nose in God's time and still wanna remove my " deep smile lines"... I still believe in "golden aging"... But now, my priority is to get a job...I badly need to have money for my personal expenses and for John and a lil in the house... I feel self-pity...

One of my frustrations in life , I wanna have a "Christmas Tree", from the past years I wanted to have white Christmas Tree but still, tight until now...

I miss our old white christmas tree... It's been decade2x ago...

7:35 pm

This early morning around quarter to 10, shorty guy wearing black cap, went to our house and I figured out that he is one of the workers of Uncle DD and Aunt Karen, he told me his name is Kuya Jon2x...

I suddenly feel sleepy the whole day which is strange... Until now I feel sleepy but I have maturity... Gets? I'm really 100%mature now angels... I can easily notice those kinds of spell or hypnotizing or they call it "budol2x"...

I think Kuya Bong pull the light switch off, on the new house outside, I mean he switched off the light that Uncle DD said just leave the light open. Kuya Bong got the red backpack and arranged some stuff there after the shorty guy went to our house... Workers of Uncle DD and Aunt Karen.

I hope I can have money to train Neko on defense but sometimes she is my guide.. Neko hates the shorty guy, as if she wanted to bite him into pieces.

Me and this friend Ely we talked about budol2x and he told me that it is real... He had a friend before was hypnotized and controlled by budol but we both agreed that those people are not yet fully matured or awakened.

7:53 pm

Will go home walking in a lil while... Just download movies... So, thankful that we have this virtual diary coz we lost our moments and memories... It is partly sad...

[waitingforeddyneddy]

lol i always laugh whenever people want to insert jb in our complaining about simone's treatment. how was he mistreated at all? he got plenty of coverage for s1 and s2, he was the lead of s2 definitely: everything was centered around his character and his manpain. the reason why he didn't do promo for s2 was because he was busy with his play, nobody was doing him dirty at all. they constantly forgot about kate/simone while jb and his character not even once. i won't ever denied that he suffered from homophobic shit by some fans, those weirdos saying that him being gay ruined the fantasy (🤮), but the bee production? they love him, allowed him to make changes, add scenes, everything he wanted. good for him tbh! but let's not pretend that he was mistreated by that show because that's simply not true

I agree with everything you just said anon, I snort every fucking time I read "I can't wait for him to get out of the show". Like, sure, he is your fave and you want better things for him but the sentiment behind it being "his supposed mistreatment" never fails so make me go ???

he was everywhere in the behind the scenes video, he and his character got plenty of coverage by the official pages of the show, he even was already shooting a whole fucking tv show in the other part of the world yet they made sure to have him back in the UK to shoot the announcement video for season three doing the iconic kanthony hand thing while they couldn't bother to wait for Simone cause they obviously don't care. They even name dropped him in Queen Charlotte making it seem like Anthony was on his honeymoon by himself but his fans think he was mistreated, ok, sure.

they wanna make him a victim of shondaland so bad, oh they won't see heaven

[doublelp]

This is a jumping off point for me to talk about this odd internet fandom that developed in like 2020-2021 and went down in flames. I basically watched the whole thing go down from the sidelines and have no skin in the game. It's pretty funny imo.

So Morgan Smith was a fairly young (late teens/early twenties) musical creative who had some momentum after the success of their last amateur musical Oceanborn. In a fairly ambitious move, they decided their next project would be not just a musical, but an entire media franchise. It would be a boring fantasy universe that includes cryptids, witches, queerness, all kinds of stuff that young gen z fandom nerds would eat up. It also felt vaugly inspired by harry potter, to the point that it was practically a way to advertise itself as an "alternative".

Anyway, Smith recruited a few creative-types including songwriter Sushi Soucy to help with musicals. To my knowledge, no actual musicals were made, but there were soundtracks and plot summaries and i think a webcomic that was passed off as a graphic novel. They also advertised an epic poem as part of the franchise but it's all lukewarm at best. The fandom was called Averno and it was way more style than substance. As a marketing machine, it seemed fairly effective at cultivating it's niche online audience, though my assessment is that it was too messy for any mainstream appeal. It did spawn a few articles and interviews so clearly it gained some traction, but not enough to put off any productions.

So the fandom was developing slowly, primarily over discord, and I lurked a lot to see how the hell everything would pan out. Lots of promo (including an ARG), but barely anything to show for it. Granted, there were studio recordings of the show tunes, but no show. Before any big moves could be made (I assume covid prevented things from happening), the shoe dropped on Smith. A big google document called Exverno detailed all of the wrongdoings. It was the callout post to rival all callout posts.

The extent of Smith's behavior amounts to 1. Not paying Averno creatives appropriately, à la Greg Ginn's SST accounting, and 2. Grooming, mostly in the form of "can't wait until you turn 18!" You can probably find the Exverno document for yourself, it's gotta be floating around the internet. It's pretty long. The reaction from both employed creatives and fandom was complete ostracism for Smith and their partner. The discord went through a meltdown before rebranding into a generic and shallow cryptid/fantasy community or something. I didn't stick around. Due to the community being prone to exaggeration (likely from limited life experiences and theater kid energy), a lot will claim that Averno was a cult and Smith was a cult leader. I don't doubt that Smith's actions were shitty but I cannot stress enough that this was a far cry from Heaven's Gate. It was a dumb fandom that revolved around the idea of it's media rather than the media itself. Highly impressionable young people got swindled, basically.

I believe the key takeaway is that young creatives should not bite off more than they can chew. Obviously Morgan Smith was too inexperienced to properly manage a fandom while also developing an entire franchise. I read the words "Like the Marvel Universe but for musicals" more than once, which kind of tells you everything that you need to know. Shoot for the stars I suppose.

Smith's epilogue is that they've laid low and continued theirs studies at NYU, I'm assuming for drama or something like that. I don't see them becoming a big public figure again anytime soon for their own personal projects, but I'd bet they'll make pathways for themselves in broadway.

Sushi Soucy's epilogue involves moving on to another mediocre music for fandom kids to eat up. A cursory look at his instagram reveals that they've done ANOTHER google doc callout post for a seperate person that I do not know or care to know. Time really is a flat circle.

[roswelldetails]

RNM 2x08 - Say It Ain't So

EPISODE SUMMARY:

JAMIE CLAYTON GUEST STARS — Despite promising Liz (Jeanine Mason) that he’ll take things easy with his new heart, Max (Nathan Dean) sets out to find Cameron after learning that she’s gone missing. Michael (Michael Vlamis) grows concerned about Maria (Heather Hemmens) after a surprising discovery about her family history leaves her vulnerable. Elsewhere, ready to move on, Alex (Tyler Blackburn) goes on a date with Forrest (guest star Christian Antidormi), and Rosa (Amber Midthunder) makes a decision about her future. Rachel Raimist directed the episode written by Eva McKenna & Christopher Hollier (#208). Original airdate 5/4/2020. 

DETAILS:

Rosa's secret identity:

"...Cousin Rosalinda from Arizona. My mom married a minor league baseball player, but when he got relocated to a team in Florida…"

"Okay, you know what, let's just go with, they're dead."

This is a Twilight reference.

Rosa about the Mean Girl's art in the cave:

"That reminds me of Stephen Powers before he sold out."

Stephen Powers is a former street artist who went commercial. Some examples of his older work here:

Other examples of his newer, more commercial work here:

By the way, speaking of the cave:

And this is some fabulous visual storytelling right here:

Max is working at the Wild Pony. Temporarily, of course.

"Turns out debt collectors don't care if you've been half dead in a glowing pod for a few months."

So much for the headcanon that Max "I've been driving the same car since high school and am a homeowner before 30" Evans is good with his money. 😆 Debt collectors don't show up that fast… not that I know from experience or anything.  😳 *backs slowly away*

Iris refers to the cave as the go to hang spot for all the artsy weirdos. So it isn't like it was specifically Rosa's cave/hidden spot.

It's the first time we've seen this particular cave other than in 2008 flashbacks.

Iris Sanchez & Rosa Ortecho. Flower, Mexican family name. 😭 The hint is there!

Also 👀 from:

The iris earned its name from the ancient Greek Goddess Iris, a messenger to the gods who was thought to use the rainbow as a bridge between heaven and earth...these flowers were named to honor the Rainbow Goddess and bring favor upon the earth.

Mimi made Maria take back the necklace.

"She said that it was too late for her and that I needed it more."

Michael has seen the necklace before, but he didn't know what the flower was when he fixed the clasp and returned it to her in 1x10.  It was 1x11 when they learned of the existence of the anti alien pollen. Michael reminds us:

"I know this flower.  Its pollen has a paralytic effect on alien abilities."

Once Maria takes it off, she can name every card Michael pulls from the deck.

Maria lists off a bunch of necklace facts from past episodes that fandom has previously noted...

Her powers were heightened when Michael had the necklace in 1x10. 

She wasn't wearing it when Noah invaded her at the gala.

And she wasn't wearing it at Woman As Warrior in 2x02 when she sensed that Isobel was pregnant.

"Kyle said you aren't an alien."

Fact. Kyle did say that.  It doesn't mean that it's a fact that Maria doesn't have alien DNA in her though.

Kyle determined that her blood doesn't carry the alien protein that's in the Pod Squad and Rosa. He is making an assumption that the protein is tied to being an alien.

He said he ran other tests, but the results would take longer to come in. 

Also, just a personal theory, what else do Rosa and the Pod Squad (and Noah) all have in common? They all spent significant time marinating in a pod full of goo. Rosa (10 years), Pod Squad (at least 50 years), Noah (60 years). Kyle has not studied any samples of alien biology from an alien who didn't spend time in pod goo. It's possible the protein is related to the pod goo, moreso than the alien biology. Again, just speculation on my part.

Maria confirms that her mom started getting sick when she was 18, just after she passed the necklace on to Maria.

"If this prevents you from having more episodes, it probably stops the neurodegeneration process too. It's not kryptonite, Maria. This is preventative medicine. Keep it on."

In 2x06 it was established that in addition to Sanders' place being a junkyard and a mechanic/auto shop, they also do tow truck service.  Now that comes into play again as Michael was hired to bring Cam's car back to Roswell for the investigation into her disappearance.  He brought it to the junk yard first though to give Max and Liz an hour to check the car for clues before the sheriff's department comes to collect it.

Max is smart too, in his own way. He quickly identified that "Agent Powell" was driving a rental car and that her gun wasn't government issue. 

However, it's only when he sees her tattoo (which Cam told him about in 1x07) that he confirms that she's actually Charlie Cameron!

(10 points to fandom!)

Max & Liz's conversation with Charlie is mostly just reminding us what we know about Charlie and Jenna's relationship. 

Liz indicates that Jenna had been looking for Charlie for months.  Charlie responds that she didn't want to be found (both things we learned in 2x04 through Cam's discussion with Jesse Manes.

Max indicates that Jenna thought that Charlie hated her, a call back to us first learning about Charlie and the matching tattoos in 1x07.

"I worked on a controversial project a while back. A lot of dangerous people want to know what I know."

(Again, stuff we learned in 2x04).

They learn through Cam's text history that she was looking for Jesse Manes (which we already knew, because...2x04).

"I'm just a guy standing in front of a tourist trap asking a history buff to shoot him with high velocity paint."

Tongue-in-cheek reference to the movie Notting Hill.

"So, you're cool playing war? Doesn't bring anything up?"

"Oh, yeah, my PTSD triggers are a little more complicated. Suffice to say, this war zone is the only place that my family actually got along when I was a kid."

"Yeah, some of my old platoon buddies actually play in leagues."

"I didn't know that you served."

"Yeah I wouldn't go bragging about it to a guy with a Purple Heart. I might have googled you."

New information… both that Forrest served, that he looked into Alex (which could be innocent OR sketchy…).

And of course this is the first open discussion about Alex's PTSD issues.

Cowboys versus aliens paintball… Alex is the cowboy, so Forrest must be the alien.

The call that interrupted Forrest's attempt to kiss Alex was from the hospital. Hence why Alex goes there to see Jesse.

"Look, if I had a little lucky charm that could stop people like Noah from messing with me, I would have that surgically implanted into my décolletage."

Have to admit, I wasn't sure what décolletage meant, so in case anyone else isn't familiar: 

"These abilities are a part of me. I'm not gonna just throw away the chance to learn about who I am. That make sense to you?"

"Yeah, actually, it does."

"You've gotten stronger this year, right?  Can you teach me to train? Learn how to control it all?"

"Look, it took a lot of practice before I could do anything without puking and guzzling acetone to kill the pain.  And you can't practice, because according to Kyle, every time you do it eats your brain."

"Look, I'll stop before it goes that far, okay? I know the signs. Besides, if you help me, maybe I can help you. There must be something that you want to know about your future."

"What about my past?"

Max meeting with Jesse at the Crashdown. This is super interesting because it's the first time Max has sat down, face to face, with a hostile human who knows he's an alien. 

"My uncle used to bring me here. That was back when it catered to a more civil clientele. People who actually respected the history of this town."

This is likely foreshadowing what's to come next week, based on the promo pics released.

Again, similar to the scene with Charlie at the junkyard, much of this exchange between Max and Jesse is just reminding us of stuff we learned in 1x04.

"The last time I saw her she came to me with questions about her sister.  And I told her that the people most interested in Charlie's device were a black ops group based out of Los Alamos. They're called Deep Sky. This is their logo. Paramilitary. And I told Jenna that what she was getting into was gonna be dangerous. But apparently she didn't listen.

Note: in case any of you are unaware, in Los Alamos there's a US DOE lab that has a long, sketchy history of weapons development.  Makes perfect since that it's where a paramilitary organization interested in Charlie's research would be based there.

The Deep Sky Logo

I compared this to a number of screenshots of alien symbols (like the ones we saw in Jim Valenti's letters in 1x12) and there were no matches.

However, fandom has already noted that the logo matches Trevor's ring in 2x06 (see that episode's details post for the photo).

"Charlie Cameron's mind is a unique specimen. Kind of like you. And there's always someone in the shadows waiting to crack those open."

"What did you do to Jenna?"

"I told her the truth. Which is more than you ever did. You're kind of a wolf in sheep's clothing, aren't you?"

"And what are you? Do you feel like a hero? All those people you tortured, all those people you killed. Turns out none of them were an enemy.  They were refugees. So you're not just a murderer, you're a failure."

"Yeah, I know. I am. But I tell you, something shifted in my brain when I had the stroke.  All the hate's gone out of me. All the fight. Caulfield is over and my son Flint has been reassigned. Look at me. I can barely walk."

Liz and Charlie in the car:

"Waitressing's really got to blow when you've grown a fully functioning heart muscle in a lab.  Or are you not the same Elizabeth Ortecho who co-authored a 2013 paper on cellular reprogramming? Some people build model trains; I do my homework.  Your boyfriend seems more like the train type."

"What is that supposed to mean?"

"We've discovered new worlds and changed the course of mankind from a microscope. Should I go Netflix and chill with my boyfriend or stay in the lab, architecting the future?"

"No offense, but if it's true that you've been in prison and in hiding, it does not seem like you've seen much of the inside of a lab either."

"I went too far.  I thought I was building something with real value. The thing is, anything that has the potential to create real change, it scares people. And anything that scares people is inherently dangerous no matter what your intention is."

"You could start over. Get a new identity, work at a research university."

"I've done extraordinary things. Everything ordinary is ruined now."

More exposition that we already know as Max catches Charlie and Liz up on what he learns from Jesse.

"He said Cam is headed to Los Alamos to investigate a group called Deep Sky. Does that mean anything to you?"

"No. Let me reach out to some of my military contacts, do some recon. Give me a day, we'll go from there."

Liz and Michael, in the lab, on The Science:

"I'm looking for the sample of yellow pollen."

"The stuff I swept off the floor after throwing it at Noah? I don't know. I didn't see it while we were packing up."

"Well it was here a few months back.  Did I miss an experiment where it grew legs and a fondness for the outdoors?"

"Could have been accidentally thrown away. Sample was too oxidized to be of much use, and I've been trying to get my hands on fresh flowers, but it's impossible. I think they might be extinct. Why are you freaking out?"

"Because I have a math problem. There's only one flower in Maria's necklace, but there are two DeLuca women and apparently the flower is the key to preventing their illness. This is everything from the Caulfield drives and the experiments done on Maria's grandmother. A lot of it was lost in a lab fire in the '80s, but…"

"I'll take a look."

(Aside… 👀 Lab fire in the '80s. I have a feeling that's more foreshadowing.)

"I just want you to see if anything done could be undone. I don't want you to, like, Dr. Frankenstein it. The experiments were very bad."

"My days as an alien scientist are officially over."

"Why don't I believe you?"

"'Cause it's hard not to think about the far-reaching implications of this kind of research. You don't get sick on this planet. If I could figure out why, I could eradicate all illness."

"But you can't. Because that would expose us."

"Which I would obviously never do. It's over."

Arturo's text to Liz:

Have you seen our little mouse?

"Rosalinda" is late for her first shift.

Isobel and Maria go to Michael's trailer and Isobel shows Maria the newspaper clip of Michael's mom to try to trigger a vision.

"It's not working. And I don't feel great going through this stuff without Michael knowing."

"Why not? One day this palace might all be yours."

"It's not working.  I have a business to run, and you need to go Instagram something."

"Says the social media revitalizer. Listen, word to the wise, every time Max saw Liz in a skirt and tried not to pop a bulb, he wound up setting off a fire alarm. Everytime I push myself too hard, I miss time, or wind up accidentally realizing that my mom still thinks about her ex-boyfriend Rocco, like, in vivid detail."

"Okay, where are you going with this?"

"Effort doesn't equal control. So if you want to do this you're gonna have to embrace your inner ice queen and let it go."

"I'm not great at letting things go."

"Yeah, I know.  That's hard…"

Maria's vision:

Triggered by a t-shirt hanging in the trailer.

Louise is hanging laundry

Walt runs up to her and gives her a little windmill with her name on it. (Initially I thought her name was pressed or punched into the metal, but on second viewing, it looks like it might be puff paint or something similar.)

Walt runs off to find Nora and Louise goes back to hanging laundry.

After the vision Maria's nose starts bleeding.

Max goes after Charlie to stop her from turning herself in.

I wonder if his tire screeching action guy driving is supposed to be emphasizing to the audience that he's not being as cautious as he should be? 

Deep Sky said that if Charlie "...wasn't at Sutter's grain depot by 11pm, that they would torture (Cam) to death."

Charlie heard on the call:

A train rolling by

A demonic laugh

And somehow that's enough for Max to magically know exactly where Cam is.

Alex and Jesse at the hospital:

"Hey, they said that you mixed whiskey with your medications.  That's not like you."

"What the hell are you doing here?"

"I don't know. I mean, you're my father. I can't seem to shake you."

"Yeah. I failed."

"Yes. But in what way specifically?"

"Uncle Tripp. I let him down. I never could figure out what he needed of me. And tonight I went to the bunker.  And I keep trying to crack the code."

"Liz said that you spoke to Max Evans. She said that you were half decent to him. Is that what this is about?"

"One of them killed Tripp, you know."

"An alien? Yeah. Then he hunted them. He dragged them to a torture chamber. I'm not surprised one of them…" 

Jesse slams his cane.

"He was the best man I ever knew.

Jesse tries to stand and falls into Alex, then continues to walk away.

The location that Deep Sky is holding Cam looks like a rodeo or horse arena or racetrack with a big grandstand.

There are nearby train tracks, and a warehouse where a mechanic repairs old carnival rides.

As Max and Charlie are scoping out the area you can hear both sounds softly in the background.

The sniper was watching and shooting at them from the grandstand.

Charlie is shot in the leg.

"Let me go get her."

"No. Deep Sky wants me alive. Your brain is worth considerably less to them which means it'll be splattered all over the dirt."

(Oh the irony...confirming that Charlie doesn't know that Max is an alien.)

"If anything goes wrong, call Liz. No doctors."

Max does shoot the sniper!

And then uses his powers to knock out the power (and instantly feeling it in his heart when he starts to use his powers!!!!!!) which, as @angsty-aliens very eloquently pointed out, is absurd because there was a big red lever that would have done the same thing. *facepalm*

Cam on her kidnapping:

"The last thing I remember is this weird sound. It made the hairs on my arm stand up. And this bright light, and the pain in the back of my neck like you wouldn't believe."

Cam's burn is fractals.  Like Liz's burn from Max's powers in 1x03. Top is Liz's fresh burn in 1x03, bottom is Cam's not-so-fresh burn in 2x08. Keep in mind, we don't know how long Cam was missing for.

Rosa and Iris at the "art show".

"So you said you're from Roswell?"

"Oh, I was from Roswell.  I got out and went to art school as soon as I graduated. I work for an artist now. I help her run her gallery. Yeah, I used to want to be a painter, but then I realized I loved curating art way more than I ever loved making it."

👀 I wonder what this says about Rosa's internal motivation. If Iris is the life she wishes that she had, does she not want to be a painter? Or is that her internal insecurity rearing its head.  Like, she can't even dream about that possibility because it's what she really wants above all else.  Which is why Iris then motivates her to paint and prove to her inner self that she is an artist? 

Speaking of which, here's Rosa's painting from the episode. Mucho gracias to @rosaortecho for giffing it for me since it wasn't cap-able in a single shot.

Iris's assessment of Rosa's art:

"This piece is you outrunning your demons. This is amazing. That's what you have to do.  You have to capture them and rattle the cage.  This is art. This is what you're meant to do, Rosa!"

Rosa's hallucination starts to fall apart as they dance.  She starts coughing and having trouble breathing.

"Your star sign's just out of whack."

Play on lyrics from God of Wine by Third Eye Blind, which was heavily referenced in 1x02. 

The direct quote is "your star sign's out of whack" and the next lyric is "a fraudulent zodiac"

Which, of course, is what Rosa had written on her hand before she died in 2008 and is a reference to Ophiuchus, which was Noah's zodiac obsession.

And then Liz finds her overdosing in the cave. 

The coughing in Rosa's hallucination was from smoke inhalation.  Because while passed out she started a fire with her powers.

Feels like a good time to point out that it's the same cave that she died in back in 2008, and she would have died there again if Liz hadn't found her. 😭

At the hospital Rosa tells Liz that she wants to go to rehab, but she knows she can't since she can't control her powers. 

Liz gives her Maria's necklace to borrow since it will suppress her powers and allow her to go to rehab.

Alex and Forrest at the Wild Pony:

"I still have my dad's voice in my head telling me that being seen with a man in public is an embarrassment. To my name and my uniform."

"Well, there's nothing like a dad voice to mess up a perfectly good date."

"It's also just that...I mean, Roswell's so conservative. This bar is filled with cowboys. If you want to go someplace private…"

"Look, I like you. But I don't want to climb into somebody else's closet."

"I cannot tell you how badly I want to be done with this frickin' closet."

"But you're not. And that's okay. Really. Listen, if that voice in your head ever shuts up, give me a call. Because between you and me, making out with a hot guy in public is only made hotter when it pisses off all the bigots and homophobes."

Charlie took off and left a note for Jenna. According to Jenna it says she's gonna disappear again and not to look for her.

Arturo is taking Rosa to a rehab center that Kyle set her up with "a few hours away".

Max tells Liz "let's go home." So… did she move in with him??

Liz says no though.  She says she has to open the diner and cry alone.  But instead she goes to the secret lab.  

Both Max and Liz were evading the truth a little bit here.  Liz didn't tell Max that she wanted to go to the secret lab.  Max didn't tell Liz that his heart did wonk out after using his powers and he did overdo it going after Cam. Bad Echo!!

Liz goes back to packing the secret lab up initially, but then her eyes fall into the Caulfield folders, and she stops. 

She unpacks her stolen equipment (genetic sequencer?), puts on her lab coat, and sits down to start reading the file.

Isobel brings Michael beer as a peace offering, since she's coming to admit that she helped Maria trigger a vision.  She thinks Michael will be mad, but he isn't because he and Maria already worked it out.

So Isobel tells him about the vision and seeing Louise, and specifically about Walt giving Louise the windmill. 

Michael immediately reacts, goes to a shelf, and grabs a similar windmill.

Turns out Walt is Sanders.  He pulls up in his car and Michael immediately confronts Sanders.

"It was you. You're Walt. You're the little boy in the photo.  You knew my mother."

And Sanders nods.

10 more points to fandom.

Max goes to Charlie's hotel to confront her about turning herself in to Deep Sky.

The windmill in both scenes. Until I put this together I didn't think they were the same one (because Louise's name isn't on Michael's. But other details (like the word weight on one of the legs) are the same.

"You think Deep Sky needs to have Jenna by the throat to kill her? Okay, the only way that I can protect her is from the inside."

Then the "abduction scene" happens.

It mirrors what happened to Jenna in 2x04, only to Max and Charlie.

MUSIC:

1.  Hole "Celebrity Skin"

2.  Lukas Nelson & Promise Of The Real "Die Alone"

3.  Shelly Fairchild "Worry No More"

4.  Marc Danzeisen "Some Things Last Forever"

5.  Joey Sykes "Sign Of The Times"

6.  I AM ORFA "Like That Look"

7.  Danny Ayer "Set Us Free"

8.  Hamish Anderson "Trouble"

9.  OMC "How Bizarre"

10.  Muscadine Bloodline "Movin' On"

11.  Little May "Hide"

[billreeseblog]

Spring 2020 Anime I Can't Wait For

April is fast approaching, and we are on the midst of a new spring season of anime. This April there is a lot great anime premiering. From series continuations to new original anime there is a lot to look forward to. Here are a few series I cannot wait to see.

Ghost In The Shell: Stand Alone Complex 2045 (ONA)

I am a fan of Ghost in the Shell. I have watched every film and season in the franchise. So to hear that SAC 2045 was being released I was thrilled. Public Security Section 9 is a cyborg unit that exists to uphold the law using information warfare. The team is headed up by Motoko Kusinagi and her friends teammates in section 9. This story happens after section 9 is dissolved and Motoko begins working as a contractor. Here is a bit about Ghost in the Shell: Stand Alone Complex from Wikipedia:

Ghost in the Shell: Stand Alone Complex is a Japanese anime television series produced by Production I.G and based on Masamune Shirow's manga Ghost in the Shell. It was written and directed by Kenji Kamiyama, with original character design by Hajime Shimomura and a soundtrack by Yoko Kanno. The first season aired from October 2002 to October 2003 and was positively received by critics. A second season, titled Ghost in the Shell: S.A.C. 2nd GIG, aired from January 2004 to January 2005. A new ONA anime series installment titled Ghost in the Shell: SAC_2045 was formally announced in December 2018 and will release on Netflix in April 2020. The series will consist of two 12-episode seasons, with Kenji Kamiyama directing one season, and Shinji Aramaki directing the other season.

The series centers on the members of an elite law enforcement unit known as Public Security Section 9  as they investigate cybercrime and terrorism cases; the cases in the  first season often are connected to their pursuit of an elite "Super  Class A" hacker and corporate terrorist known only as "The Laughing  Man", whose actions end up creating the series' titular "Stand Alone  Complex". A series of associated short comic animations, titled Tachikomatic Days, aired after each episode. These shorts star the Tachikoma "think-tanks" from the main series, and they typically relate directly to the story of the preceding Stand Alone Complex episode. -- Wikipedia - https://waa.ai/TQZ8

Kingdom Season 3

The first two seasons of Kingdom were amazing. Watching Li Xin go from being a peasant boy to protecting king Ying Zheng of Qin and working his way to General. The first two seasons were a wild ride. Season three looks to be more of the same. Here is a bit about the series from Wikipedia:

Born in the Warring States period of ancient China, Xin and Piao are war-orphans in the kingdom of Qin  who dream of becoming "Great Generals of the Heavens" to rise from  their lowly stations in life. One day, however, Piao is taken to the  palace by a minister to be used for an unknown purpose, leaving Xin  alone as a household slave in a peasant village. A few months later,  Piao returns to the village on the verge of death, urging Xin to travel  to another village. There he meets a boy who looks nearly identical to  Piao, Ying Zheng,  the current King of Qin. Xin learns that Piao served as a body double  for Ying Zheng, and was mortally wounded in a power struggle for the  throne. Though initially furious at Ying Zheng for causing Piao's death,  Xin decides to seize the opportunity and aid Ying Zheng in defeating  his brother and reclaiming the Qin throne. Successful in this endeavor,  Xin officially starts his life as a Qin commander on the battlefields of  Warring States China with the goal of becoming the "Greatest General in  the World", and to help King Zheng of Qin achieve his dream of total  unification, ending the incessant warfare once and for all.  -- Wikipedia - https://waa.ai/TQZW

BNA: Brand New Animal

BNA is a new anime from Studio Trigger. I haven't seen the promo yet, but I know that everything from Studio Trigger has been awesome. I loved Little Witch Academia, Kill la Kill, Darling in the Franx, and Kiznaiver. Here is a bit about BNA from Wikipedia:

The series is set in the 21st century, where the existence of  humanoid animals that have been living in the darkness for centuries  have been revealed to the world. One day, Michiru, who was a normal  highschool student, suddenly turns into a tanuki person; running away,  she seeks refuge in Anima City, a place  set up for humanoid animals to  be able to live as themselves. While there, Michiru encounters a wolf  person, Ogami Shiro, who goes on to investigate why she became a  humanoid animal, and in the process gets mixed up in even stranger  events. -- Wikipedia - https://waa.ai/TQZi

Ascendance of a Book Worm

This is an uncommon isekai story. The main character Urano was a librarian who got buried under a pile of books during an earthquake. She is reincarnated as a 5-year-old sickly girl named Myne. This story is about how Myne uses her knowledge from her previous life to gain money and resources. This is due to her illness called the Devouring that will kill Myne without access to magical items. Here is a bit about Ascendance of a Book Worm from Wikipedia:

The story follows Motosu Urano, a book-loving  college student and soon-to-be librarian who ends up crushed to death  beneath a pile of books during an earthquake. With her dying breath, she  wishes to be reincarnated in a world where she can read books forever. As she died, she awakens in the body of a five-year-old weak girl named  Myne in a world where books are scarce and only available to prestigious  elites. Myne, retaining her memories from her previous life, decides to  create and print her own books so that she can read again. -- Wikipedia - https://waa.ai/TQZD

Conclusion

Of course there are continuations of other series like Food Wars, Love is War, Fruits Basket season 2, SAO: Alicization - War of Underworld part 2. There are also several new series like Tower of God, Gleipnir, and Appare Ranman. This is going to be an excellent season for Anime, and I cannot wait for April to start.

[ilovefanfic86]

Supernatural

S14E19

"Jack in the Box"

Before we start... I don't trust Duma.

A wake for Mary. 😒 I guess so.

What the hell... AU!Bobby throws a random ax at dude.

A wraith was dumb enough to go to the bunker full of hunters to "gloat"?

I don't like how everyone is reacting about Jack. I mean, Bobby making a lynch mob to hunt Jack, Dean is avoiding everyone (which is normal).

I'm so over Lucifer/Nick.

Jack is praying to his mother and Dean crying alone for his.

So... Duma locked up Naomi because the empty got into heaven.

Come on Dean! Don't be this way towards Jack. He is still your son.

Great! Another angel wanting to be God. Like that's ever worked before. I said last week that Duma was going to use him.

Did he really just him into a pillar of salt?

Duma using Sam and Dean against him is really pissing me off. Jack is where his father tried to be God. I really don't like the parallels here.

Uh Jack...please stop this is creepy as hell.

The pastor lived!! Gross.

Oh great... That stupid fucking box. Its clear that Dean is taking this personally if he's willing to lie to Jack.

What is happening to our family??

"You cant get into heaven."

That's right!! Jack is this way because of you guys!!

When has any angel really kept Cas from doing something?

Jack is making angels while Sam is in turmoil praying to him.

Did she just threaten John and Mary??!!

Never mind. Cas handled it. Bye Duma!!!

This scene with Sam, Dean, and Jack is uncomfortable and cringy as hell.

I hate the amount of betrayal going on between them.

Dean acts like he could care less he's stuck on the box forever.

Whoa... Wait!!

He's out!!!!????

(If Jack broke out of the box, how the hell was it suppose to hold Michael???)

NO NO NO NO NO!

Promo...

Yea, nope. I can't even right now.

[bredsticon-blog]

title: the alternative

part: one (saint or sinner)

desc: you have died. you weren't an extraordinary person when you were alive--you made a few little sins and a few little good deeds, but it's not enough to land you in heaven nor hell. so the reaper gives you two choices: be in limbo forever, or serve equal years in heaven and hell. well, you choose the latter...

tags: angel!nick & demon!zion love triangle (or not? wink), heaven and hell au (yes ik purgatory exists but it has different purposes for this series), ooc (on purpose, i swear), sfw (as in, no smut), gore, violence (i mean, you're in hell...), cussing, murder, mentions of: rape, abuse, addiction (alcohol, LSD, heroin, uhh everything else), mental issues (depression, suicide), and death in general. gender/sex neutral reader (as always) and humor to lighten the mood

word count: 2k

notes: it isn't nearly as scary as the tags make it seem, i promise. i spent a l o n g time on the promo art for this (which imma post LATER) so uhh please read :'( haha yes i WILL finish writing the fma!austin fic and make the part 2 for ¡quake! & ~the wave~ but my ass is still collecting gifs and cleaning up plot holes sksksk and on the 2.76% chance the boys read this: hi follow me im @/bredsticon on ig, i make quality content and be more active on tumblr please we love you

You don't remember dying.

You're dead, and you don't remember dying.

Perhaps, in another life, you once thought that death accompanied a special feeling: life flashing before your eyes, lights out, everything over before your last breath escapes your lungs. But this is... this is slow. So slow. You're still on earth. Floating.. somewhere. Nowhere else. You see the world, all of it. Stars twinkle in the mist. The world around you is gray and dark. You watch your home fall apart. Every crack and shake is in full detail, and, dimly, you watch the sprouting of vines and weeds in its place. The weeds brush heads as they cluster your old house, your old neighborhood, your old country, your old everything.

You're old.

Breathless doesn't begin to describe it. You don't have lungs. You don't have... you don't. You just don't. You are nowhere. You are nothing. You don't exist.

Someone waves inside of you.

What the—

"Hello, Soul One-Hundred Thirty-Three Billion, Seventy-Five Million and Sixty-Five. You're late."

An NYC accent? You're from—

"Now that's a mouthful. I'll just call you Rosebud. See, you were supposed to cross over..." A watch ticks inside your... your form? You? "...millennia ago. Five millennia, in fact."

The voice throws a powder on you. Something blooms inside you, and you fall to the ground.

You gasp—holy shit, you can gasp. You move your head around. Ohmygodohmygodohmygod, you have muscles, you have form, you can move. You exist.

The voice has a form, too. He looks like you: human. Flaming blue hair, khaki-colored skin with reddish-pink polka dots and marks. He wears modern clothes: a bright yellow vest and green pants. And glowing. He's like a painting. Human, kinda.

You gape at him. This doesn't exist. This can't exist. You thought you'd be nothing forever. But now you're something and that's something and the world around you is still murky but it's something and oh my God. Oh my fucking God. What happened to you? What happened to your home? Why aren't you dead?

The form smiles at you. "Be careful with mentioning the Master Creator so much. They're listening, y'know. They can tell when you're talking about Them."

He offers you a hand. Shaking, you take it. You wobble so hard you grab his shoulder, and he pats your wrist.

"Relax, Rosebud, we're gonna go up now. Take my hands." Gently, he takes your hand off his shoulder and interlocks your fingers together. You close your eyes as he pulls you close.

Once you open them, you're no longer on Earth.

You're in an office.

Vaguely relaxing piano music plays in the background. The walls gleam "eggshell white" (whatever that means), and copy-and-paste potted plants commiserate in corners, on shelves, and on top of desks. Rows and rows of cubicles line up in front of you, complete with ancient computers, loud clicking, and early morning groans of "I need more coffee, for fu- fun's sake!" A vending machine and a water cooler stand behind you, with banged-up tables interspersed between those.

Someone rises out of a cubicle. His skin is pale, but his hair is dark. "Reaper Honoret Jr.! Is that—oh my goodness, is that the stray? You did it! It took a few millennia, but you did it!"

Honoret Jr. grimaces. "My bad, Dad. The soul blended in so well, it took me a while... my readings showed complete neutrality. It's like there's no one there." The reaper looked back at you. "I only caught a flicker. Right now, I can't—"

His dad chuckles. "Not Dad. It's Reaper Honoret Sr. to you." He winks. "I'm kidding, y'know how they get around here."

He comes forward and wraps his arms around the boy, then unlatches. Without Honoret Jr's support, you fall to the ground, so you watch as he holds his son's shoulders. "Your bad? What do you mean? I'm proud of you. So, so proud. You're the only one who could even—actually, wait."

He turns to face the cubicles. "Reapers of Thanatos & Co., guess who just caught the stray!"

The clicking stops.

Someone coughs. "You're joking, right?"

"Absolutely not. In fact, it's behind me, right now."

Chairs scoot on scratchy carpet as the reapers of Thanatos & Co. nearly jump out of their cubicles to see you. Forty reapers dressed in some manner of business attire speed walk in your direction. One pushes Honoret Jr. out of the way—his dad has to catch him before he falls on his face.

When they see you, they stop. They start staring at the air around you. They sniff like blood hounds.

After a pause, a reaper with large eyebrows turns to another, eyes wide. "I think... I can't... I literally..."

The other nods. "Same here. Reaper Honoret Sr. isn't lying."

The crowd murmurs in agreement.

A reaper with short pink hair raises his hand. When no one calls on him, he puts it down and mutters something about being new. "Wait, if Reaper Honoret Sr. found the stray, shouldn't we tell the Grand Reaper about it first?"

Once more, the crowd murmurs in agreement.

The eyebrow reaper stares at you—no, not at you. Into you. Like you're not even there. "Before that, we need to know who found it. Reaper Honoret Sr., did you find it? We need someone to congratulate."

He grins. "Nope! My son did." He shook his boy's shoulders.

The reaper raises a brow, then gives the blue-haired reaper a look. "Oh. Well, uhm, congratulations."

The crowd weakly claps. Good job... mhm... congratulations, Junior... and then they disperse back into their leather spin chairs.

Honoret Jr. turns to you and makes a face. "Sorry about that. Office drama. Can't escape it, even in this world."

He doesn't look like a reaper to you. No black cloak, no creepy aura, no skeleton fingers. Kind, colorful, couldn't be a reaper. Nope. Impossible. None of this is.

"You're not believing a lot of things, I know. The first few days are the hardest." He gifts you with another smile. "You'll get there, I promise. I'm here to help.

"Name's Edwin, by the way. You've been calling me Honoret Jr. and that just gives me middle school flashbacks. No thanks."

You can't even make a proper facial expression to react to that. You can't formulate words—or even walk without Edwin holding your hand. He's reading your thoughts, at least. You're basically a vegetable.

He shrugs. "Give it a few hours, Rosebud. The vegetable'll wear off. Your body's just adjusting to this plane. No shame."

You can't speak, so you just think of the word: thanks. My name is—

"Oh, I know what your name is. I've been searching for you for five millennia. I'd be a horrible reaper if I didn't know."

He extends a hand. "Speaking of vegetable and horrible reaper, I bet you're hungry. You're also naked. Let's fix that."

-

Reapers need to eat, surprisingly. Edwin leads you through a myriad of hallways with the exact same paintings and potted plants (this is disgustingly easy to get lost in, you think. Edwin agrees) until you reach the break room. It takes you an hour.

No one's in there except you two. Edwin gave you some of his clothes (kept in another room), so you're wearing a red fit with a black vest and a lime green beanie. He tried to offer his matching ski mask, but you managed to mentally shout "No!" before he put it away. You don't mind wearing his stuff, but you wonder what that could imply. Do reapers...? Actually, you don't wanna think about that.

The break room curves up into a sparkling, plastic chandelier. The rest of the room accommodates a fridge plastered in posters, a microwave, and a dirty coffee maker paired with beige countertops. A pile of paper plates and utensils decorates the left countertop, while a sink occupies the right end. Island tables take up the rest of the center, leaving room for vending machines in the back.

Edwin scrunches his nose. "Who's bummy ass forgot to wash the coffee pot? Ew." He examines it, then starts washing the dishes.

He looks back at you. "You can go raid the fridge. Just don't touch the lunch boxes or uh—bento boxes, I think. Those are Reaper Porter's, and he will get very mad if you touch his bento. I did that once, so he threw a fork at me then said I messed with his feng shui."

Edwin mutters something about unseasoned chicken as he continues scrubbing coffee stains.

You stand up. Your walk is wobbly at best, and you feel like a pile of jello—you're weak in the knees, like jello. But you're getting there. Its better than before. At some point in your hour-long journey to the break room, poor Edwin had to carry you. You felt bad, but at least he's strong. Maybe it's a reaper thing.

You stumble to the fridge. Posters and dates and schedules cover the surface, but you brush past them to find what truly matters: the food.

Reaper office food tastes just as bland as human office food. How sad.

You find that your body works just like it used to. You're hungry, you can feel pain, and you're starting to move. It's like you never died. And now you're in a huge office full of slightly-glowy people who call themselves Reapers and also can't sense you, which is a concept you still don't understand. Or maybe you didn't die? Maybe someone stirred some LSD in your drink? And this is all... a major... acid... trip...

You blink, then pinch yourself. Nope. You're 'swell.

Edwin pulls out a chair. "Now that we're done with the basics, Rosebud, we need to get you registered. You're a bit of a weird case, but you're not too too special. Just uncommon."

He pauses. "Well, actually, you might be a little more special than that. Just a tad."

You give him a look. Something builds in your throat.

"What the fuck?"

He giggles. "Those are your first words on this plane? I—"

"No, seriously. What. The. Fuck." You sound like a cheese grater but you don't care. "I literally have no idea what's going on. I died, I think, then I watched mankind die too as the Earth turned into dandelions, then you went inside of me and threw some pixie dust to make me come back again, suddenly I'm in a 90s sitcom office and I'm naked which literally no one told me about until everyone else saw me as bare as the day I was born and—"

Edwin pats your hand. "All right, all right, let it out, let it out. I'll explain everything. It's just really long." He rubs the back of his neck. "And we're kinda on a time crunch here."

"A time crunch. When it took us an hour just to get a snack."

"Yes, a time crunch. We have about two more hours to get you registered before you become tied to this plane. Then you'll have to become a reaper, like me, and you don't wanna become a reaper." He bites deeply into his peanut butter and banana sandwich. "Shit's hard."

"I can't even—"

"Mhm." He says through a mouthful of peanut butter. "I'm rellay sorreh you're goineh frough thif. I geh how you feel. Eferyone dehs."

He swallows. "We all started out alive. No one's been here since the beginning. Except for some of the seraphim, I guess. But the rest of us? We just humans the Master Creator decided to gift. You're not alone in this. I went through the same bullshit as you. I get it."

You bow your head down. Your thoughts are too jumbled to feel actual anger. "Thanks, Edwin."

"You honestly deserve better, but no problem." He stands up and wipes his hands on a napkin. "Imma clean up after myself, so you can get a head start. We do only have two hours." He yanks you out of the chair. Still chewing, you watch as Edwin shoves you out the break room.

"Wait—hold up—wh—I don't know where I'm supposed to—"

He grins. "You will! Your senses will guide you."

"What— more vague shi—" and the door slams.

[rndyounghowze]

Emanon Players perform Jesus Christ Superstar at Absegami High School in Galloway, NJ

By Ricky Young-Howze

The time is finally here! I have been a huge fan of Jesus Christ Superstar since I was in high school so many years ago. This rock opera with music by Andrew Lloyd Weber and lyrics by Tim Rice has not just been a part of my life but a part of my psyche! I have just never seen a production of it onstage. It is so fitting that my first time is with this production directed by Chip Garrison with the Emanon Players. I have been getting chills just looking at the promo photos! So all the waiting since last fall is over. Now it's time to figure out what's the buzz!

Just in time for Palm Sunday follow the last days of Jesus Christ throug the lens of a 1960's rock opera. While most of the apostles are wondering when the revolution will happen Judas is busy wondering if it's all going to end in disaster. Mary Magdalene is wrestling with feelings she didn't think she'd have, while Caiaphas is wrestling with what to do with the "miracle wonderman". It seems that anyone who has any contact with Jesus of Nazareth ends up wrestling with some dilemma or another. But in an opera full of questions and people seeking answers the main crux is clear "Jesus Christ Superstar. Who are you?" And that's the individual question all of us take away as we leave. But first we must follow the story all the way to its inevitable end. (Or is it the beginning?)

Direction by Chip Garrison was just epic. I have seen a little bit of everything from this man and loved all of it but nothing suits this man best than a good opera. That's where his attention to detail and his ability to coach great performances out of these kids comes into play. He can take kids of all shapes and sizes with many different talent sets and weave them into a cohesive performance. I would love to see more shows like this from them.

Now I rarely ever give standing ovations or even clap during performances. If you see as many shows as I have you just know when you feel it and you want it to be sincere. This show made me want to jump up and down and dance in the aisles, both with pride for these kids and the love of this show. However I was a bit disappointed that there wasn't a curtain call at the end of the performance. I understand that there is a heavy message to this story and you want us walking away with a certain feeling but I was more worried that someone was hurt backstage. I hear that they are giving a company bow at the end of Sunday's performance. I really wish I had gone to that one.

Grace Vu as Judas Iscariot follows in the footsteps of Broadway Alum Shoshana Bean who started the trend of female Judases just last year. I think that it's a great change. I was holding my breath when her wonderful deep voice took control of the stage for "Heaven on Their Minds". That doesn't mean that she can't scream either! This girl has some range both vocally and physically and she brought all of it to bear on this character.

Coby Alavez as Jesus: Well in short YESSSSS!!!!! At length I could gush about this young performer's voice for hours. I've seen him progress for awhile and I can tell you that he's only gotten better with every show. His voice is just this wall of sound that comes at you (even though his mic would sometimes add some distortion)! I felt his energy much better in his chest and head range than when he was screaming to the rafters. It is very hard to step into this role and bring both a strong yet broken energy to the show and still keep up that arena rock energy. And this isn't a seasoned stage vet this is a senior going to college next year. This is a boy with room for improvement and it astonishes me what his future holds.

All Mary Magdalenes in this show are judged by one song and I think it's unfortunate. It's just not about mastering a ballad it's embodying a soothing spirit in a cankerous world. Sydney Mullin as our Mary Magdalene tonight was just the balm to soothe the savage ear. It's very hard to be the calm one in the middle of this rock concert setting but she really did it. I can't believe that such a young performer had that kind of maturity.

A lot of people know Mara Platt who played Simon the Zealot. She has a signature voice. I just didn't get her yet as a performer until her performance tonight. She really just is a young performer with a screaming voice that's tearing at her throat just dying to get out. It's almost impossible to know her off the stage because she doesn't truly transform until she walks the boards.

I have been following William Platt who played Pontius Pilate just as long as young Coby and I can't tell you just how proud of this guy am. Every role he's taken, both big and small, he attacks with such a veracity. He leaves his heart out there for all to see as if he doesn't mind if it gets broken. If he keeps it up there is nothing this this guy won't be able to do. It is my hope for every young performer to take on a role to the hilt just like him.

You heard Connor Morrissey who played Simon Peter before you heard his character's solo. His featured solos in other numbers really showed this guys devotion to range. And then his moment comes and he knocks it out of the park. Simon Peter's time is so short on this stage and he really made the most of it.

My Supporting Shoutouts go out to two bad Sadducee mother- (shut your mouth) and a glitzy and glam Herod.

I've always had a soft spot in my heart for these two characters. You're not some mustache twirling villain here. You're religious leaders trying to do the best for your community. Makael Rogers as Caiaphas and Courtney Jones as Annas brought that dynamic to the stage. My wife Dana summed Makael's voice up nicely by just typing "whoa". And that's where I'm gonna leave it because that voice can't be improved upon with more words. A big kudos to Courtney for taking the role of second banana Pharisee well. This is the best vocal work I've seen her do.

As expected Johnny Keen as Herod made the grandest of entrances. Yes this is just a pastiche but it is a really big tent pole performance and one of the most memorable numbers. I really love how he leaned into it. It's an on and off time onstage where you're gone as quickly as you appeared and he really made it his own and did his best.

My Background Standouts go to the amazing background dancers for two of my favorite numbers. Most of them were also main performers doubling their role so I found their ability to blend amazing. So this goes out to Andrea Brandt, Daryl McAllister, Breana Smail, Samantha Garofolo, Chloe Verderber, April Kachnic, Sydney Mullin, Isabella Nieves, Mara Justine Platt, and Emily Deibert.

From the very opening chords of the overture I knew that Music direction by Brian Conover was epic! It took the iconic score that made my youth and gave me chills all over again! Even the "small" version of this orchestra is an eleven piece hardcore group of rock awesomeness!

Choreography by Katie Taylor really took the spurs to these kids. I have a feeling that they can now do the choreography in their sleep. I do love the times though when the kids could freestyle more and be themselves. They were really more loose. I just know after a good night's sleep that stiffness will shake itself off for tomorrow's performance.

I feel that where set design by Chip Garrison held tightly to the classic "Brown Album" style costume design by Ashley Winkler is a big throwback to the NBC live concert performance with more modern clothing. I feel that this makes a great synergy especially with lighting design by Peter Avagliano bringing the rock concert vibe with intelligent lighting and bright hues. It melds into a living history of all the incarnations this opera has had over the decades.

I was really biased towards this musical from the beginning. Some would be tempted to say that my bar was set really low. In fact I came in excited yet skeptical. These kids were going to have to work harder to do a show that I know every note intimately. And they not only exceeded my expectations they leaped over them as if they weren't even there. You definitely need to come see this show. It runs both tomorrow and Sunday. You definitely won't be disappointed.

[tantawans]

I actually haven't heard of that drama before is it good? I don't mind spoilers. I need to get into more thai dramas only watched World of Himmapan speaking of do you know any other dramas similar to it? Also do you know if it's possible to download episodes at Oh Sweet Heaven? I was only able to watch the video there but I would like to download episodes if it's possible. Like I said I'm new to thai dramas so no idea if new is a good actor or if those dramas are good waiting for some

spoilers before watching it myself and I don't trust MDL they hate on everything they're incredibly biased but if you watch them let me know how both of them are. Thank you for the links I'll check them all out tonight def going to bookmark them as well as your MDL.

it was really good! i definitely recommend it as long as you like mystery and don't mind main/important characters dying!! also not to like self promo all my own links lmao but i do have a recommendations page if you wanna see my favourite dramas maybe you would be interested in some of those!

that's true it can be misleading too because one person will give it a super low rating and the next person rates it a 10/10 a lot of people just rate things highly if they like the actors which isn't very helpful!

as for dramas similar to phipob himmapan i truly think it's one of a kind! i am yet to find something similar but i have to admit i haven't really checked... however someone did recommend pachara montra as being similar to himmpan on mdl i haven't seen it so i can't comment but you could check that out! but if i find anything even slightly close to being as good as phipob himmapan i will definitely let you know!

and as for downloading episodes from ohsweethaven i don't think you can? since most subbers are wary about people reuploading their videos to other sites they usually won't be a way to download them unless theres maybe a browser extension that would work? i'm not too sure sorry :( but you're welcome for the links!! feel free to message me any time i'm always happy to try and help and talk about dramas <3

[humanistauno]

A Day To Remember

by: Michelle Villareal

​Manila, also known as the Pearl of the Orient, is located in Southern Luzon, the largest with more than 7,000 islands that make up the nation known as the Philippines. Manila serves not only as the country's capitol, but also as its financial, publishing, and business center. The citizens of the city speak Tagalog, but most are also fluent in English which is the language used in public schools. Manila is also known in its scenic landmarks and famous structure like the Intramuros, Fort Santiago and St. Augustine Church still are good examples of Spanish colonial architecture. It still has many to offer, and showcase the country's diverse tourist attractions and its culture.

​This happened 4 years ago when I was in 8th Grade. Mom availed a promo where the tickets are cheaper than its original price, so she immediately grabbed the opportunity for our 3 days vacay in Manila. I know it’s not too long because we still have classes and mom still on duty but at least we experienced something that we want to long ago and it finally came. We went at the General Santos International Airport six hours before the flight, that’s how early mom woke us up to prepare everything but it didn’t bother me though because I can’t contain my excitement. Mom used to be late in every gathering she attended but this time, she woke up early than the rooster whose about to crow. She complained at everything asking why we prepare so slow like mom calm your tits, we still have plenty of hours. Anyways, it was my first time at the airport and nothing can compare the excitement I felt when I saw an actual airplane outside like my mind was about to explode, still can’t believe that I’ll be riding one of those. Mom prepared everything, both the tickets and some stuff. We waited at the departure waiting area for our plane. Later on, the bad news came that lose all my vibe. Our flight got cancelled due to I don’t know maybe that’s how airport works? It’s 11 am in the morning and we have to stay there until 6 pm, what will I supposed to do the whole duration then? So, fast forward, the time has finally begun. I took a picture a lot while heading on our designated airplane, I was a young childish kid back then where I wanted to make others envy on me posting photos on media captioned “manila here I come” with bunch of emoticons, how embarrassing it was. I seated beside the window and also my mom, while my brother Noli was at the back of our seat, don’t mind him, it’s okay with him. When we arrived, it was dark outside, I think it’s about 8 pm. I lose all my excitement because I was so tired that my body badly needs sleep. Tall buildings, restaurants, landmarks, I don’t care about them all, I can’t even open my eyes wide when I saw a handsome man. We arrived in my uncle’s place in Cavite at 1 am in the morning due to traffic, I can’t imagine myself living here. I immediately dived in bed and fell asleep really quick without bothering to change clothes. Day 1, our first stop was Intramuros where we visited my uncle Joseph in San Agustin Church, he’s a priest in there as you all see but now, he’s in heaven serving God, not worrying about anything, and I’m happy for it. My uncle dodo and uncle Joseph was our tour guide, uncle Joseph hired a Kalesa to roam us around in Intramuros. We took a lot of pictures in every destination. The Kalesa driver shared a history to some houses and landmarks that colonized by the Spaniards which is a mind blown information. We had our lunch in a fancy restaurant but I only ate fried chicken because I can’t even pronounce a name on the menu. Uncle Joseph gave us budget for the Star City experienced, mom hesitate but you know uncle, he’s willing to give everything he has for the sake of our happiness. While waiting for the taxi, I can’t stop hugging my uncle thinking that was my last hug with him. Those last words he said that I should study really hard in class, I promise that I will make him proud of my achievements, I just missed him so much. When we took a taxi, I waved good bye at him for the last time slowly as he disappeared out of my sight. We went to Star City, mom bought a ticket and when we get in there, I’m out of words. We wanted to try all the rides since mom bought a ticket said that we can avail all but it’s crowded and my feet hurts so bad. We decided to have some dinner at MOA since it’s walking distance and went home because it’s late and it’s hard to commute due to traffic.

​Day 2, we went to Makati where my cousins and uncle lived, we bring some of our clothes because they insisted to sleep there before we go back here in Koronadal. I was so tired during the trip because we took maybe three or four public vehicles plus the waiting time just to get in their place. For the first time, I met my cousins, Cherie and Christine, I don’t know how to interact with them because my skills in socializing and my self-esteem suddenly falls back to zero, they look so pretty while I look shit. We arrived there maybe 5 pm, we had our little dinner and a small talk but I didn’t bother to talk because I don’t know, I’m too shy, or I just don’t know how to speak Tagalog.

​ Day 3, we woke up early in the morning to pack our things up, we ate breakfast and we took a ride at my uncle's work place. We don't have much time to roam around in Makati with my cousins because our flight will be at 3 am in the morning so we have to be at the airport hours before the flight. We say good bye to each other awkwardly because we barely talk like she asked questions, I answered, and that's it, end of conversation. When we arrived at my uncle's work place, we looked for a food to eat since its lunch time. I don't blame the city for being the busiest, if you have to come early at your work, you have to wake up early considering the time you travel and the traffic. Mom decided to eat somewhere else whatever we passed by. We took a ride at the train station which was super cool. We took our lunch near at the station, it’s just a small restaurant, not that fancy but cheap. We had soup, a dessert and some drinks. After we ate, I decided to roam at the station since mom and uncle was still talking. So, I was roaming and guess what my just saw, a Korean Pop store. I was lowkey freaking out and I can't handle my excitement when i saw bunch of albums, photocards, and some Korean Pop merchandise. I ran to my mom and asked for money, she hesitated at first but I just can’t, I have to buy at least one, she gave me I think one hundred. I bought a photocard of my favorite girl group and I can’t stop smiling all the time as we go. We arrived at the Airport, still have plenty of time since our flight will be 3 am. We took a rest where the passengers wait, I sleep a little because I was so tired after the long duration walking. Mom woke me up when we have to be in the departure area, I bought a snack first and we go in our flight.

​We arrived at the Gensan International Airport early in the morning, I don’t know what time is it because I didn’t bother to check my watch. We headed home, took a sleep and I remember I told myself to wake up before lunch time because I had to attend class in the afternoon but ended up late so I had no choice but to continue sleeping. This was my first-time experiencing Manila and I was beyond happy and didn’t regret being absent in class for three days in a row. I hope it will not be our last.