#heart touching shayari husband ke liye

[best-shayari21]

1000+ Best Romantic Love Shayari in Hindi

 heart touching love shayari in hindi for girlfriend | heart touching true love shayari | husband true love romantic shayari | love feeling shayari | love ke liye shayari

https://shayarithikana.in/love-shayari/

[tellywoodtrash]

shaadi mubarak 27 - 31.08.20

tried to make this short and sweet like i said i would, but my damn brain just won't fucking shut up while watching tellywood. toh yeh lo. almost poora lbs.

27.08.20

life mein kya chahiye, bas itna support aur laad jitna KT's whole family is barsaofying on this 40+ year old man.

oh and garmaaaaagarammmm moong dal kachoris.

oh ho his shaadi is seveeeeeeerely sore topic.

KT gaining lotsa SM clout with shayari he picked off the floor at some random shaadi he made a PR appearance at.

this man's whole life is a rampwalk, huh.

preeti talking about her DIY'd dresser is the most animated i've ever seen her.

lol preeti running to hide when she sees someone she knows will talk to her #relatable

awwww man preeti getting validationnnnnn about her poetry.

OMG I HATE THIS DUMBASS MUSKURANE KE LIYE ROKDA NAHI THOPDA LAGTA HAIIIIII LINE

"meriiiiiiiii sharmeeeli fannnn" haaaaye, cuteeee.

tarun and rati have made an appearance and thus is it time to fwd liberallllllly.

YESSSSSSSSSSSS IM HEREEEEE FOR PREETI TELLING TURN TO FUCKKKKKK RIGHT OFFFFFFFFF AND STAY IN HIS LIMITS

i hate rati too, but i hate her a little less than tarun.

YESSSSSSSSSSS KUSUMMMMMMMMMM IS HEREEEEEE.

lol her fangirling over KT's dimples is such a mood.

"nihaar hi toh rahi hoon, kaunsa ghar chod ke bhaag rahi hoon inke saath?" snort i honestly love her the mosttttttttt.

sumedhhhhhh is also cutest. good son, good husband.

"beendini, thari maa itni nazdeek reh-re, ki cheenkte wahaan hai, cheetein yahaan padti hain" HAHAHAHAHAHAHHAHAHA

kusummmmm is a hardassss but totallllly adorable mom. i'm so glad juhi and her get along.

ouff mother india and her tarun ki khushi. so wasted.

lol KT's khaaai ka depth is getting deeper with each retelling.

preeeeti, why so adorable.

"signal toh humara hamesha green hi rehta hai!" THIS INCORRIGIBLE MANNNNNNNNNNNN

oh man, every time iktara plays, my heart gets the feelz.

28.08.20

lmaooooooo kusum is coming at the same time as KT.

WHY DOES THIS MAN TALK LIKE A WHATSAPP FORWARD FROM THE GERIATRICS IN THE FAMILY

lmaoooooooooo pooooor preeeti and the desperation on her face trying to get rid of himmmmm.

OMG THE STATUE MOMENTTTTTTT. MY HEART!!!!!!!

good lord he's literally such a maan na maan, main tera mehmaan.  

hahahahaha the kali mirch on his photo.

I AM LITERALLY PREEETI, HE TALKS TOOO FUCKING MUCH. BAS BHI KARO BHAISAAB. NO ONE CARES ABOUT YOUR FITNESS REGIMEN HERE.

OHNOE KUSUM IS HEREEEEEEEEEE

fwding all this rati tarun chanda crap.

KT and his ainvayiiiiiiii ke assumptions.

gosh such bad green screening of kusum and the neighbourhood.

OH GOD THIS ROKDA THOPDA LINEEEEEEE

WILLLLLLLLL KUSUM AND KT MEEEEET?!?!?!!?

phew.

ugh why does preeti have to touch her feeeeeeet every timeee?!?!?! it sucksssssss.

I LOVE KUSUM. SHE'S SO NO NONSENSE!!!!!!!! SHE KNOWS EXACTLY WHAT THOSE FUCKHEADS HAVE PREETI HERE FOR.

die in a fire, tarun.

blah blah fwding all the chori waala drama.

29.08.20

i think i should just skip this whole ep.

ok just skimming.

juhi Knows. juhi is best beti.

ugh tarun i hate you so much.

this doesn't look like a luxury car to me? and it's def not an SUV.

ok blah blah fwding.

fully relate to KT's current breakdown. THE BIGGEST LIE IN THE WORLD IS THAT YOU STOP GETTING ACNE AFTER PUBERTY. FUCK ADULT ACNE, WHICH HAS BEEN CREATED BY THE DEVIL HIMSELF.

coffee aur honey nahi, tea tree ya neem lagao.

i hope this mom of KT's is gonna be nice to preeti.

blah blah blah fwding these assholes' drama.  

skimming, and honestly, the fact that rati looks more contrite than tarun!?!?!? i want to murder him so fucking bad, it's not even funny.

MAN WHERE CAN I GET A FAMILY THAT HYPES ME UP THE WAY KT'S DOES HIM?????? NO WONDER HIS CONFIDENCE IS AT 300% ALL THE TIME.

KT is so pure. sniff. please god star plus, you've ruined every single male lead over the last few years for me, please can i just have him?!?!?! PLEASE I'M FUCKING BEGGING OVER HERE.

oh no naach gaana, fwding.

what's the fucking deal with his marriage anyway?!?!?! biwi bhaag gayi ya.... MARR GAYI??!! like.... WHAT'S THE WHOLE MYSTERY?! I DON'T HAVE THE ENERGY FOR A WHOLE OTHER RAIMA KINDA THING NOW. NOT IN THIS FUCKING YEAR OF 2020, WHERE EVERYTHING IS ALREADY TOO MUCH.

back to fucking tarun and his garbage. fwding.

thank goddddddd, juhi's here. she's a personification of "kaleje ki thandak".

btw, what's juhi's profession?

juhi is purestttttttttt. human sunshine! (quite literally, in this outfittttt.)

oh ho, ainvayi ka dupatta misunderstanding.

LMAOOOOOOOO THIS FUCKING OVERDRAMATIC FUCKER.

yeh lo ji, pehlaaaaa lift bhi ho gaya show ka.

31.08.20

the subtitle people need to decide the spelling of preeti's name once and for all. all of last ep it was "priti".

ugh tarun and rati are back.

lol kusum grumbling about juhi being a working woman.

what's up with priyanka? why's she forever grumpy?

lmao kusum is literally every desi mom - LAD MARO SAAARE!!!!! (helpfully providing the weapons also.)

thankfully sumedh is here to save the day.

arre waaaaah. gold frameeeee mein chadhwa diya bete ne photu ko.

wasn't KT in the center in the pic? why's kusum in the middle now?

sumedh foreshadowing the preeti/kusum brotp!

hahahahahahahaha kusum coveringgggg preeti up with the wall hanging.

ugh don't wanna watch this KT scene if it's with tarun/rati.

oh ho KT. such ainvayi ke assumptions.

oh boy, juhi has walked in hearing the suicide allegation.

god KT just leaveeeeee instead of stirring the pottttttt.

yessss, juhi is taking tarun's class.

YES ALL OF IT IS COMING OUT. TARUN KI KHAIR NAHI. JUHI GONNA STRAIGHT UP SHANK HIM IN THE FACE.

ok if juhi doesn't do it, i swear to god, imma ghusofy into the screen and do it. i don't think i've hated a character as much as i hate tarun.

beta ho toh sumedh jaisa ho, warna na ho.

TARUN FUCKING DESERVES TO BE THROWN INTO AN ACTIVE VOLCANO. MY GOD WHAT A PIECE OF SHIT.

god preeti, drop this fucking flop. he's a sunken cost.

YES PLEASE PREETI, FUCKING LEAVE.

sumedh has finally had enough. good. wish he'd headbutted tarun on the way out tho.

oh dang, juhi might still do it. she's the real warrior in that couple.

RATI KO AYAAH KI PADI HAI. SERIOUSLY.

kusum + sumedh had a wholeasssss conversation aankhon aankhon mein.

LMAO WHAT A WEIRD MOMENT TO FOCUS ON THAT PIC WITH KT IN THE BG.

ok aaj aur kal ka lb kal post karoongi (coz i don't want a whole new month's lb mixed up in the previous one's.) chalo byeeeeeeeeeeeeeee.

[rkalert]

Good Night Shayari Top New Latest Shubh Ratri Shayari Status Good Night Love Romantic Heart Touching Whatsapp Status Shayari Photo Pics DP For GF BF Husband Wife शुभ रात्रि गुड नाईट शायरी

Good Night Shayari Top New Latest Shubh Ratri Shayari Status Good Night Love Romantic Heart Touching Whatsapp Status Shayari Photo Pics DP For GF BF Husband Wife शुभ रात्रि गुड नाईट शायरी

Good Night Shayari Shubh Ratri Shayari शुभ रात्रि गुड नाईट शायरी Good Night Love Romantic Heart Touching Shayari Photo Pics Whatsapp Status Good Night New Latest Best Shayari GF BF Husband Wife Bhai Behan Ke Liye : If you are looking for Good Night Shayari Whatsapp Status Shubh Ratri Shayari Photo Pics DP, then this post is special for you. Because here a magnificent collection of Good Love Night…

[valentinesweeklist2018-blog]

Most Awaited Valentines Day Messages 2018 For Loved Ones

Most Awaited Valentines Day Messages 2018 For Loved Ones

http://valentinesweeklist2018.com/valentines-day-messages-2018-loved-ones/

Cute Valentines Day Messages 2018, Romantic Valentines Day Messages 2018, Valentines Day Messages 2018 For Couples, Valentines Day Messages 2018 For Him, Valentines Messages For Her, Valentines Day Messages 2018 For Wife, Valentines Day Messages 2018 For Husband

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Valentines Day Messages 2018 :- Valentine’s Day offers a special opportunity to express your deepest feelings to your beloved. No matter what romantic activities you plan to do on this day, sweet messages of love make the day more special and help show your husband or boyfriend how much he means to you. Although commercial Valentine cards are a modern tradition, lovers have used this holiday to write poems and love greetings to their loved ones for many centuries. There is something extra powerful about the written word, and often the right words surpass any other gift in terms of timeless beauty. If you are having difficulty finding the best words to express your feelings to your man, take a look at these examples of Valentines Day Messages directed towards the special men in our lives.

Lovely Valentines Day Messages For Couples 2018

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Valentine’s day love Messages here are latest and recently arrived love messages 2017 for your husband or lover. On valentine’s day you can surprise your love with range of various things however Messages is that the cutest means of expression. Thus go ahead and send these Cute Valentines Day Messages to your beloved. We’ll conjointly offer Valentines Day Messages in English.

If I wake up one day and I were asked for a wish, Mine would be that our love should last till we see fish on the tree and stars on the ground. Happy valentines day my love. . .

I think am most blessed person in the world, Bcoz m sharing my life with you, getting up every morning, And seeing your face is a blessing.  I love you.…

If you ask me whether I need you the answer is forever, If you ask me whether I ll forget you the answer is never, If you ask me what I value the most the answer is you, If you ask me whether I love you the answer is I do…

Soul mates are not those who are perfect. But they make each other perfect. The way you made me perfect. Without you m incomplete dear…

Love is an eternal beauty, not related to time, It vanishes the memory of beginning and fear of end. Bcoz love is forever and ever. I love you.…

Trust is like a sticker, Once it’s removed, it may stick again but not as strongly as it held when u first applied. Take care of relations.

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A sea is for you, and waves are for me. The sky is for you, and stars are for me. The sun is for you, and light is for me. Everything is for you, and you are for me..

Happy Valentines Day Messages For Husband And Wife 2018

Valentines Day is celebrated every year on 14th February. It is a very special day for Lovers where you can show your Love it many be your Love partner of eternity or your newly sweetheart. The Best Valentines Day Messages 2018 today in this 21st century in this digital world there are hundreds of ways to show your love but the easiest way is to express your love via Messages. So today in his blog we will be providing our readers with the Latest Happy Valentines Day 2018 Messages. You can use this Messages, Quotes, SMS for showing your affection and love towards your GF, BF, Husband, & Wife.

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Whenever I think about ur blush skin I lose my heart & U win My love is rising wid D rising sun & now I m mad & craziness has begun Whenever I see U cry I felt like i am going 2 die Ur smile is like a light Make my day fully bright Happy Valentines Day!

They say sugar is sweet and honey is too but baby what do I call you? your sexier than sexy and hotter than hot that there’s only one name 4 you and that’s too good to be true.Happy Valentines Day!

We began as strangers. We became friends. We became one with each other… We remain as one forever. Happy Valentine’s Day.

There’s nothing better than spending this day with the person I care about the most. Happy Valentine’s Day

You fill my life with a sense of warmth and bliss, and I cannot imagine a day without looking into your eyes, holding your hand, or kissing your lips. Happy Valentine’s Day to the centre of my universe.

I trust you with my heart, even though it is fragile. Thanks for taking good care of it. Happy Valentine Love!

This is a moon which learns from you, That is a sun which respects you, There are stars which shine for you,And here, It’s me who live for you.

I don’t understand why Cupid was chosen to represent Valentine’s Day. When I think about romance, the last thing on my mind is a short, chubby toddler coming at me with a weapon. Happy Valentine’s Day

No poems no fancy words I just want the world to know that I LOVE YOU my Princess with all my heart. Happy Valentine’s Day.

The fluffy cloud may kiss the sky; The rose may kiss a butterfly; The morning dew may kiss the grass; But you my friend may kiss my lips! Happy Valentines Day 2017!

Romantic Valentines Day Messages For Loved Ones 2018

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Romantic Valentines Day Messages 2018 For Loved Ones are romance and written with love filled words to make the girl feel special. The wishes can be sent through text messages for the girlfriend along with gifts for her. The romantic messages would touch the heart of the girlfriend/boyfriend and bring out the love emotions from her.

 A day without you in my life should never come and even if it does, let that be the last day of my life.

A day without you is a day without sun, a night without you is a night without moon; a life without you is a life without life.

As busy as we get, we need to be reminded that we are still sweethearts. Valentine’s Day is a good day for me to stop and realize how wonderful you make me feel. Happy Valentine’s Day.

Cupid shoots well for me! He hit you and me with perfect aim.

Love is too weak a word for what I feel for you. One life is too small a time to express how madly I am in love with you.

valentines day messages 2018 for couples

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Every time I see you, I feel a little flame in my heart, that lights up, because… I LOVE YOU!

You walked in, and the sun broke through the clouds. Suddenly, life was worth living, and it became this big adventure. Thank you for being part of my life.

Curved high on a mountain, covered deep in dew, I saw these words… I LOVE YOU!

Even though Valentine’s day costs a lot more with a girlfriend, you are the one girl in this world who is totally worth it.

Every moment I am not without you, my tears fill the ocean blue…By mine, my love, forever.

Valentines Day Messages 2018 In Hindi | Valentines Day Shayari 2018

Har pal ne kaha ek pal se… Pal bhar ke liye aap mere samne aa jao… pal bhar ka saath kuch aisa ho… ki har pal tum hi yaad aao…

Yaadon ki barsaat liye Duaaon ki soghat liye Dil ki gehrayee se Chand ki roshnai se Pholon k kaghaz per Aap k liye sirf 3 lafz “I LOVE YOU”

Koi Dukh Na Ho Koi Gaam Na Ho Koi Aankh Kabhi Purnam Na Ho Koi Dil Kisi Ka Toray Na Koi Saath Kisi Ka Choray Na Bas Pyar Ki Nadiya Behti Ho Kaash K Dunya Aisi Ho

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Log samajhte hain humne unko bhula rakha hai, wo kya jane ki dil me chupa rakha hai, dekhe na koi usay meri aankho mein, isliye palkon ko hum nay jhuka rakha hai.

Jab tanhai me aapki yaad aati hai, Hontho pe ek hi fariyad aati hai… Khuda aapko har khushi de, Kyonki aaj bhi hamari har khushi aapke baad aati hai..

Jub Khamosh Aankho Se Baat Hoti Hai Aise Hi Mohabbat Ki Suruwat Hoti Hai Tumhare Hi Khayalo Mein Khoye Rehte Hain Pata Nahi Kab Din Kab Raat Hoti Hai

Khud Ko Khud Ki Khabar Na Lage, Koi Achha B Is Kadar Na Lage, Aap Ko Dekha Hai Bas Us Nazar Se, Jis Nazar Se Aap Ko Nazar Na Lage…

Sabhi nagme saaz mein gaye nahi jaate, sabhi log mehfil mein bulaaye nahi jaate, kuch paas reh kar bhi yaad nahi aate, kuch dur reh kar bhi bhoolaye nahi jaate…

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Tere DIL mein rahenge SMS bankar, Dhadkano mein bajenge RINGTONE bankar, Kabhi apne DIL se juda mut Samajana, Hum tere saath chalenge NETWORK bankar!

Zarurat hi nai alfaaz ki, pyaar to cheez hai bas ehsaas ki, paas hote to manzar hi kya hota, dur se hi khabar hai hume aapki har saans ki…

Kashish honi chahiye kisi ko yaad karne ki, lamhe to apne aap mil jayenge, waqt hona chahiye kisi ko milne ka, bahane to apne aap hee mil jayenge.

Hope you like our latest stuff on Valentines Day Messages 2018. Stay Tuned with us for more updates on Valentines Day.

#valentinesday #valentineday #valentinesday2018 #happyvalentinesday #happyvalentinesday2018 #roseday #proposeday #hugday #chocolateday #kissday #promiseday #teddyday #teddybearday

[fblikeshayaris]

Dirty non-veg adult sexy sex jokes, shayris sms messages

Ek Bande Ki Suhagraat Thi,

Vo Bade Aaram Se Sex Kar RahaThha,

Par Uski Wife Jor Jor Se Cheekh Rahi Thhi,

Banda Hairan Hua Aur Usne

Puchha. Tum Itna Cheekh

Kyun Rahi Ho?

Wife:Bahar Tere Dost

Khade Hai, Chutiye Teri Izzat Rakh

Rahi Hoon

Sex kya hai;

Sex ek kala hai, Jo kare uska bhala

hai

Sex ek bhavna hai, jisko pura kurne

ki sabki kaamna hai

Sex do atmaon kaa milan hai, sadiyo

se jiska chalan hai

Sex maja hai, Jo na kare uska jeevan

ek saza hai

Sex bhakti hai, jisme subki mukti hai

Sex ek jaap hai, jisko na jupna

mahapaap hai

Sex amrut hai, poora jeevan jisse

trupt hai - Dirty Sex

Pehli Baar chudai Karane K Baad

Ladki LUND ko choom k Boli:

Aaj Mujhe Satya Ka Gyan Ho Gaya,

'COKE' 'PEPSI'

Sab Bakwas

"MARD Ki LASSI"

Hi Bujhaye Asli Pyaas.

Purani soch:-Karo ya Maro.

Nayi soch:-Marne se Phle kuch karo!

Ekdam Nai soch:- Jab tak kuch kar

nahi lete maro mat!

Hamari Soch:-Koi Bataega Sala

karna kya hai?

Kaviyatri ki suhag raat ke baad uski

saheli ne pucha-Kaisi rahi

suhagraat?

Woh boli-

"Aaye the wo der se,

Dil jala diya,

Pehle kiye Darwaza band,

Fir deepak bhuja diya.

Pehle dabane lage

boob tatolkar,

Fir khelne lage

chaddi khol kar.

Ek jung aisi chidi palang par,

Gole wali toph rakh di surang par,

Mila sirf 9 minute ka maja,

Ab bhogni hai 9 mahine ki saja,

9 mahine baad aisa hoga vispot,

Jo ban jayega Bharat ke liye

1 aur vote...

Paper Dene Or Sex Karne Ke Baad

Sari Girls Ki Feelings Same Hoti

Hai:Kitna Lamba Tha NaKash Thora

Time Or Mil JataTooba Pehle Kitna

Dar Lag Raha ThaPhir To Pata Hi

Nahi Chala Kab Ho GayaUff Teen

Ghante Tak To Meri Saans Hi Band

Ho Gayi ThiAagay Ka To Theek Tha

Peechay Ka Kitna Mushkil Tha Na.

MARD hone k 6 fayade:

1. 'Un Dino' ka tension nahi hota.

2. Koi Heavy saaman latakta nahi

rahta(.)(.)

3. Nange bhi ghumo to kisi ki

bhavnaye nahi jagti.

4. Virgnity ka koi proof nahi hota.

5. Khujane pe hath geela nahi hota.

6. And above all, jaha chahe waha

moot sakte h.

IF U R MEN.!

Jiyo L**D utha k...

Ek bus me Ladko & Ladkiyo ki team

Antakshari

Khel rahi thi

Girls Hum Tumko Harakar Hi

Dikhayenge,

Pichhe betha PAPPU BOLA :- Hum

Haar Gye, Chalo Ab Dikhao

Ek Ladka bike se Aunty ko ghar

chhodne ja raha tha.Jab bhi aunty

ke boobs uski peeth se lagte, wo

kehta : "Na pintu na, ye aunty

he."Ghar pahooch ke Aunty boli :

"Tu kis pintu ke sath baat kar raha

tha?"Ladka sharma ke bola :"aapke

nipples bar bar takra rhe the,, Mera

penis bar bar khada ho raha tha, to

me use samajha raha tha ke pintu

khada na ho, yeh to Aunty

hai."Aunti boli : "Dhutt pagle,Aunty

to mai teri hu,Pintu ki nahi…. chal

andar"

Most BOYS don't lyk

Touch screen mobile,

U know why?

Jinhe dabane ki aadat

ho,

Unhe bas touch karne

me kahan maza aayega...!!!!

Azam Khan- Sirji election time kitna

boring hai, chalo kuch game khelte

hain...

Mulayam- Chal dekhte hai hum

dono mein se sabse bada bakchod

kon hai..!

 Teacher Ne Class Mein Pappu Se Pucha

Teacher: “Batao Ladkiya Dupatta Kyun Pahnti Hai?”

Pappu: “Mam, Science Ki Wajah Se”

Teacher: “Wo Kaisi”

Pappu: “Kyunki Science Bhi Is Baat Ko Manti Hai Ki Khane Peene Ki Cheezo Ko Dhakk Kar Rakhna Chahiye“

Ek jungle mein sare male janwar

female janwaar ko 24 ghante chodte

rahte the.. !!Saari female jaanwar

mil ke Brahmaji ke pass gayi aur

vardaan mangaa ke kam se kam ek

mahiney ke liye chudai se mukti

miley !Bramhaji ne SAB male

janwaron ke laudey kaat ke unko

token de diye aur boley ki ek

mahiney ke baad token lanaa aur

apna-apna lund le jaana.. !Shaam ke

time Bandar ped pe baitha

tha..Bandariya ne usey chedtey hue

kaha:"Chodsaaley,bhenchod ! Ab

chod naa mujhe"?Bandar kuch nahi

bola.Bandariya fir boli"Chod na

Bhadve, chod na behen ke laudey.."!!

Bandar ne ek choti si smile di aur

bola:"Ek maheena ruk ja

haraamzaadi ! Maine Haathi ka token

churaya hai..."!!!

The best ever English to hindi

dictionary for guys:

xcuse me= sun chutiye;

stupid= abe gandu;

get out=Nikal bhosdike;

I m in problem = Yaar loude lag gaye;

I am scared= gaand phati hui hai yaar;

Where r u= Abbey Kahan maa chuda raha hai;

Would u like to have this= lega laudu;

Not possible!!!= chal bhosdike;

He is a very bad person= Bada madarchod hai;

I'm sorry = maa chuda;

Where r u? = kahan gaand mara raha hai?;

I 4give u! = muh mei le le;

No = ghanta;

Too small= jhaant barabar;

Too big= gaand faadu;

Difficulty= gaand faat gayi;

We rock= maa chod di;

And finally the best one:

Dost= laude......

Teacher: "What Is A Condom?"

.

Aamir Khan Muskurane Lag Jata Hai

.

Teacher: "Aap Itna Muskura Kyu

Rahe Ho?"

.

Aamir: "Sir!, Wo Kya Hai, Bachpan Se

Iccha Thi

Ki Main Sex Education College Mein

Padhu! Aaj

Yaha Padh Raha Hu, Bahut Maza Aa

Raha Hai"

.

Teacher: "Zyada Maza Lene Ki

Zarurat Nahi Hai,

Condom Ki Defination Bolo?"

.

Aamir: "Sir! Condom Is Anything

Which Reduces

Population"

.

Teacher: "Will U Plz Elaborate?"

.

Aamir: "Har Wo Cheez Jo Population

Control

Kare!""

.

Baccha Paida Nahi Karna Hai,

Condom Hai Na"

"Masti! Chahiye Raat Se Lekar Subah

Tak,Condom Hai Sir"

"Actualy Sir! Hum Condom Se Ghire

Hue Hai"

"8th Class Ke Ladke Se Lekar Mujh

Tak, Sab

Condom Ka Use Kar Rahe Hai"

"1 Second Mein In,1 Second Mein

Out, In-Out,

In-Out"

.

Teacher: "Arre... Defination Kya

Hai?"

.

Aamir: "Wo Hi To Bata Raha Hu Sir"

.

Teacher: "Exam Mein Ye Sab

Likhoge?"

.

"Ye Condom Hai! Masti! Raat Se

Lekar Subah

Tak!

Idiot""Anybody Else??"

.

Chattur: "Sir!, Condom Are Between

Any

Combination Of Body So Connected,

That Their

Relative Positions May Be Seen In

Kamasutra.

.

."Teacher: "Wah! Kya Baat Hai."

Marzi Ka Sex Pap Nahi Hota..Piche se

Dalne Wala Kabhi Baap nahi

Hota..Condom Zarur Lagana Mere

DostQki..Sex k Waqt POPAT Ke Pass

Dimag nahi hota. Dirty Shayari

HUSBAND WANTED

A lonely woman, aged 70, decided

that it was time to.get married. She

put an ad in the local paper that

read:

HUSBAND WANTED!

MUST BE IN MY AGE GROUP (70's),

MUST NOT BEAT ME,

MUST NOT RUN AROUND ON ME,

AND MUST STILL BE GOOD IN BED!

ALL APPLICANTS PLEASE APPLY IN

PERSON.

On the second day she heard the

doorbell. Much to her dismay, she

opened the door to see a gray-

haired gentleman with no arms or

legs sitting in a wheelchair.

The old woman said, "You're not

really asking me to consider you, are

you? Just look at you ... you have no

legs!" The old man smiled,

"Therefore I cannot run around on

you!"

She snorted. "You don't have any

hands either!"

Again the old man smiled, "Nor can I

beat you!"

She raised an eyebrow and gazed

intently. "Are you still good in bed?"

With that, the old gentleman leaned

back, beamed a big broad smile and

said, "I rang the doorbell, didn't I?"

What's the difference between

movies having Certificate - U, A, XX,

XXX?

U: Hero gets the heroine

A: Villain gets the heroine

XX: All the actors get the heroine

XXX: Entire shooting unit gets the

heroine

??????

BE A FRIEND LIKE WOMAN'S BRA

COLOURFUL

COMFORTABLE

STRETCHEABLE

SUPPORTIVE

HOLDING TIGHTLY

NEVER LET GO DOWN

ALWAYS NEAR THE HEART

Pappu: Dad, today they taught

about Sex in the class.

Santa: Ok son.

Later he saw Pappu shaking his

penis, he asked what r u doing?

Pappu: Homework Dad....

There are 2 girls in heaven first girl:

how did you die 2nd girl: well i froze

everything waz really cold but then

it got warm how did u die first girl:

well i was sure my husband was

cheetin on me so i came home early

from work one day and he was sittin

on they coach watchin t.v. but i was

so sure i ran around the house and

checked inb closets and underbeds.

then i had a heartattack 2nd girl :

well if you would have looked in the

freezer we both would have been

alive!!!!

A young girl came back to Doctor and

complained, "Doctor, last time you did

my abortion, you forgot your sharp

blade inside of me,"

Doctor "Oh I am sorry, did it hurt you?"

Girl, "No but my eight friends went

impotent, ten of them lost their

fingers, and four of them went dumb.

4 stages of relationship:

- Hand in hand.

- Hand in that.

- That in hand.

- That in that.

If you know what i mean..

An 18 year old Girl got PREGNANT. Her

Angry mother says-Who's the PIG?

Call him..

30 min later a limousine car stops in

front of their house & a Mature grey

haired in a very Expensive SUIT steps

out.

Man:Ur daughter has informed me of

the Problem, howevr I can't Marry her..

But if a GIRL is born I offer a villa & 2

million dolrs.

If a BOY is born den 2 factories & 5

million dolrs.

But in case of Miscarriage, what do u

suggest I do?

Mom-FUCK HER AGAI

A person was carrying 3 BABIES in the

train.

The Lady next to him asked, "Are they

ur BABIES?"

The Person said: NO! I Own a Condom

Factory

& these are Customer's Complaints!

Man In Bar Orders Kingfisher Beer.

Lady Next To Him- What A Co-

incidence, Even I Have Ordered

Kingfisher.

Man- I'm Celebrating.

Lady- Me too.

Man- What A Coincidence.

Why are you Celebrating?

Lady- My Husband & I Have Tried 4

Yrs For A Baby..

Today I'm Pregnant.

Man- What A Coincidence

I Am A Farmer From 4 Yrs My Hens

Were Infertile, Today All Laying Eggs

Lady- Wow How Did That Happen?

Man- I Used A Different Cock .

Lady SMILED & Said

WHAT A COINCIDENCE...!!!!!!!

Little Student: Madam, when I grow up,

how will my wife have a baby?

Teacher: (after thinking for sometime)

An angel will come from heaven &

hand

over a baby to your wife.

Student: so who do I need to fuck ??

wife or angel ?

A Guy with 25 inch Long penis to

God : I can't live with this long penis..

God : Go to that Lake,

U will find a Female Frog. Ask her to

Marry u,

she'll say No & U will Lose 5 inch.

He Went & asked the Frog : will u

Marry me?

Frog : No

He Lost 5 inches.

He thought 20 inch is still Long.

So he asked again : will u Marry Me?

Frog : No

He Lost 5 inches More.

He thought 15 inch is Great,

But 10inches is Ideal

So he asked again : will u Marry me?

Frog : How many Times do I have to

tell u?

NO! NO! NO!

khel khatam

laude lag gaye !

4 Gals take lift in a Car full of

Engineers

Since no place, sat on their lap

After 10min

...Grl1:r u Telecom Engr

Boy1:how u know

Grl1:ur Tower is comunicating wit

my Unreachble area

Grl2:r u Computer Engnr?

Boy2:how u know?

Grl2:ur Pen drive is trying to

connect wit my USB Drive

Grl3:r u Automobile Engr?

Boy3:how u know?

Grl3:ur Piston is trying to move

into my Cylinder

Grl4: r u Civil Engr?

Boy4:how u know?

Girl4:ur Dam had broken &

flooded my Village;)

11 year old girl realized growing hair

between her

legs. Got worried and yelled Mom

about hair. Mom

calmly said. "That part where hair

has grown is

called a monkey, be proud that your

monkey has

grown hair."

Next morning at breakfast she told

her elder sister

"My monkey has grown hair"

Her Elder Sister smiled and said.

"that's nothing, mine started eating

banana's."

A young boy asks his father, "Dad, is

it OK for us guys to notice all the

different kind of boobs?"Surprised,

the father answers, "Well, sure son,

we wouldn't be normal if we didn't...

there are all kinds of

breasts.Depending on a woman's

age, they are different shapes.In her

twenties, a woman's breasts are like

melons, round and firm. In her

thirties to forties, they are like

pears, still nice but hanging a bit.

After fifty, they are like

onions.""Onions, Dad?""Yeah, you

see them and they make you cry!" 

Latest News: Arvind Kejriwal has

stopped wearing his underwears

bcoz...

He can't wear VIP underwears as

they have VIP written on them.

He can't wear Rupa since people

would say he always keeps Rupa

around his private parts, and in

Delhi that's a dangerous thing to do.

Or Jockey as horse riding is a rich

man's pastime.

He can't wear Macroman since he is

a common man.

He can't wear Dixcy since he does

not want people to see his d***

And he can't go commando since he

has refused security.

So now all he needs is cover his

private parts with mango leaves to

prove that he is a "aam" admi and

his protection is the aam.

ho out of control 

pent ko tu apni khol 

Choom k tu uska hole 

dalde tu apna pole. 

Lund ghusa, ball daba, 

gaand maar k bol DARLING AAL IZZ WELL. :-D

Men are raping a woman. The woman laughing nonstop so after sometimes the men get bugged and ask her, why she is laughing, she replies: I have aids.

Wife bought a new transparent bra and wore in front of her husband.

Husband: honey you look very sexy in this bra.

Wife: you know salesman was also saying same thing.

Girl enters a sex shop.

Girl: where is the duplicate penis section?

Clerk: it's their mam.

Girl: how much for this big red one?

Clerk: sorry madam, its fire extinguisher.

Why are western guys more advanced than our guys? Answer: they keep their minds in work and penis in pussy, but our guys keep pussy in mind and penis in hand.

Fate is like getting raped; if you can't fight it learn to enjoy it. Success is like masturbation, it's in your own hand. Education is like hiring prostitute, it needs both money and talent.

Height of innocence: having your girl friend naked beside you and masturbating.

Height of laziness: man having sex in train and waiting for the train to jerk.

Most interesting T-shirt quotes of a girl. Excuse me! My face is above.

If a married woman is called polo; the mint with a hole, then what's an unmarried woman called? Center fresh.

Why aunties like to have sex with youth?

Every used engine will get refreshed only when its filled with fresh oil and it gives more mileage to its owner.

Nurse comes in doctor room.

Doctor ask: why is your one boobs out of your shirt?

Nurse: these medical students never keep the things at place after use.

Height of recycling: man giving used condom 2 his son to use as a balloon and after bursting giving to his daughter to use as hair band.

Six cans of beer 600 rs. Four pegs of whiskey 400 rs. Two taquilla shots 300rs. Driving home with a girl who drank all this. Priceless

What will you do if you get sexy wife with figure, with red lips, brown hair, moist boobs, sexy waist and a penis?

Why women wear panties with printed flower?

It's a way of saying come on guys, water my garden.

Difference between power and stamina?

Power is when a man can hang a wet towel over his erect penis.

Stamina is to keep the penis erect till the towel dries.

Boy: my age is 20 years.

Girl: my age is 20 years also.

Boy: so come to my room.

Girl: why?

Boy: To play 20-20 match.

Banta was travelling in an auto rickshaw with his wife. The driver adjusted the mirror. Banta shouted you are trying to see my wife, sit back. I will drive.

Define rape: rape is not a crime; it's just a surprise sex.

Wife: if I sleep with your most loving friend what would be the first thought coming to your mind?

Smart husband: that you are a lesbian.

Height of shame: You running with a full erect male sex organ towards a wall and your nose collide first.

A boy comes to class with broken specs.

Teacher: what happened?

Boy: I was kissing my girlfriend.

Teacher: but how did your specs break?

Boy: she closed her legs.

An army got married first night realizes wife having periods.

He telegram to HQ: red alert on front extend leave.

DQ: attack from back and report.

Virginity is like a balloon, one prick and it's gone. Sex is like a pack of chips, one you start you can't stop. Life is like a dick once it gets hard, it ucks.

Sex teacher draws picture of male sex organ and asked does anyone know what this is?

Kid: ya, my dad have two.

Teacher: two?

Kid: a small one for susu and big one to brush moms teeth.

Wife in good mood rotating husbands sex organ in bed.

Husband: you want sex?

Wife: no., just joined car driving school and practicing gear changing.

Three ladies saw a dog ucking violently.

Dr's wife: they are enjoying life.

Lawyer's wife: no, it's a rape.

Army officer: I think the dog has come on a holiday.

A lady was wearing jeans in a train.

A man who saw that her zip was open said: madam, your lips are laughing.

Woman: hey they want a cigarette.

Wife in sexy mood lovingly says: I want to have a wild experience. Tie me up and do whatever u want. Excited man tied up his wife and raped her sister.

A girl wears sleeveless dress every time. On right arm she writes 'C' and on left arm 'L'.

friends ask: what does it means? She said: I am cool.

A naked lady gets into taxi. Driver looks at her. Lady: haven't you ever seen a naked woman?

Driver: no I am just wondering where you have kept the money to pay me.

A sexy and attracted female employee meets her boss and says sir will you remove something from my breast?

Boss: wow, what?

Girl: your eyes.

What is long and hard? Has a hole at the tip and when inserted into wet, hairy, tight hole, makes men and woman feel great? Vicks inhaler.

Define rape with the help of one good example. Rape is a very very difficult job for example; it's like playing golf with a continuously moving hole.

Difference between bad and worse.

Bad: when your children find your last night used condom.

Worse: when they insist you to blow that balloon for them.

How to irritate an archeologist? Show him a used whisper and ask him which period it belongs to.

What's similarity between garden and breast? Both are made for kids but mostly used by adults.

In a lift, man elbow accidently touched lady's breast.

Man: if your heart is soft as your breast you will forgive me.

Lady: if you sex organ is hard as your elbow I am in room 207.

Angry husband sent sms to father-in-law. Your product not matching my requirements.

smart father-in-law: warranty expired manufactured not response.

T-shirt quotes: now more tastier and healthier, handle with care, tasted by experts, shake well before use, can make boneless thing hard, no one can use just once.

Man looked his naked body in the mirror says to wife-look 75 kg of pure dynamite. Wife says: but shame on the 5 cm fuse.

A nigro man attended a night party without dress. The man thought he was in black suit and told your suit is nice, but tie is in the wrong place.

A girl saw a man full of tattoo. Nike on his arms, Reebok on his legs, she was shocked when saw aids in his sex organ. He said: relax when it enlarges, it becomes Adidas.

T-shirt quotes: in front-I am virgin. At back: this is my old t-shirt.

Girl told to tire mechanize have sex with me. Mechanic told, ok. Come to swimming pool. She asked why? He replied because I can identify the hole only in water.

A British man sees front side of girl t-shirt that reads: handle with care. Next day the British man wears jeans pant and writes candle with hair.

Why girls are called babes?

Answer: because they wear nappy pads even when they are grownups.

Lady: why is your husband so punctual in returning home from office?

Lady2: I have made a simple rule. Sex will be started at 9pm sharp, whether you are hear or not.

T-shirt quotes of girls. Touch here if you dare, more enjoyment per liter, weapons of mass destruction, looking free touching costs, sure for pure milk, for sale.

A man lying on the beach, wearing nothing but a cap over his dick. A woman passing by remarks: if you were any sort of a gentle man, you would lift your hat to a lady. He replied: if you were any sort of a sexy lady, the hat would lift by itself.

A drunken says while kissing his girlfriend: darling your lips are very salty.

Girl: stupid stand up.

Why do girls carry milk to give their husband during first night, because they need lots of curd from husband in return.

A guy takes a girl to his room, throws down his paints and says. Meet my little brother. Girls pick up her bag on the way out says call me when he grows up.

A sexy and attractive female employee meets her boss and says sir will you remove something from my breast?

Boss: what?

Girl: your eyes.

Teacher: who's the big person, you or your dad?

Kid: me of course.

Teacher: why.

Kid: I stopped drinking milk from my mom, dad hasn't.

Nurse lost her cat in hospital, anyone have female sex organ All women stood up. I mean anyone seen a female sex organ? All men stood up, I mean anyone seen my sex organ, all doctor stood up.

Research shows men are fat than Women because every night men gets fresh milk and two big apples while women only gets one banana two nuts and one spoon curd.

All eggs in women decided to fight against sperm. They waited with guns in the sex organ. That night no one came, suddenly one shouted guys attack is from backside.

Girls prayed to god why you don't make boy's sex organ more beautiful.

God: no way, though I made it ugly, you suck it; if I made it beautiful you will eat it.

Do you know why a girl gets full mark and boys get fail in practical? It's when they both remove their 1st button of shirt in front of external.

There are two things men really like women to do in hurry. Dress and undress.

Officer: madam swimming is prohibited in this lake.

Lady: then why dint you tell me when I was removing my clothes?

Officer: well, that's not prohibited.

Boy: if I kiss you and run away then what will you think?

Girl: I will think that a fool instead of attending the full paper just attended the one mark alone and failed.

Teacher: explain responsibility.

Student: mam your blouse has four buttons, if three buttons break down the entire responsibility will be on the fourth one.

Advertisement by Panty Company: we are not the best in the world but we are closest to the best thing in the world.

A note in the sex magazines shop: please hold the magazines with both hands while reading.

Why do women put red lipstick on their mouth? To inform men stop this is not right hole.

Teacher: why cow looks tensed after giving milk? Student: madam, if some one presses your breast for I hours and don't uck, how do you feel.

A boy and animal went to river to take a bath. As he removed his clothes all animal laughed at him.

He asked: why are you laughing at me?

Animals: your tails in front.

p>Girl: what do you like in me?

Boy: those two balls having black dots in center.

Girl: you rascal are you with me for that?

Boy: yes, I like your eyes.

Who's guilty? Wife dreaming in the night suddenly shouts "quickly my husband is back" man get up, jumps out of the window and realizes, dammit I am the husband.

Customer: my wife needs a bra but I don't know the size. Salesgirl: touch my breast and try to calculate. Customer: oh I forget he needs panties too.

Misuse of English: a diagram in a book was not clear. So teacher drew the diagram on the blackboard and announced. Don't look at the book figure, look at my figure.

Husband and wife are like two tyres of a vehicle. Even if one punctures, the vehicle can't move further. So intelligent people always keep stepney.

Boy saw a lady with big breast.

He asked her: can I bite them for $1000?

She says: ok they go to a secluded corner. She opens her blouse.

The boy kisses, licks, puts his face in them, presses them hared for 10 minutes

Lady asks: aren't you gonna bite them?

He replies: no, it's too costly.

A guy picked up for a date. Guy: why are you wearing your belt around your knee? Girl: I promised my mom that I wouldn't let you touch me below my belt.

Who is senior's female sex organ or male sex organ? Answer: female sex organ because male sex organ always stands up when he sees a female sex organ, so respects the seniors.

A college girl was in jeans pant and zip was open. Boy went and told miss please close your taj mahal door here my quthubminar is dancing.

What's common between sun and a women's underwear? Both are hot, both look good while going down, both disappear by night.

One man married lady traffic police. Friend asks how your 1st night was. She collected Rs.100 from me for over speed, Rs.200 for wrong side entry, Rs.500 for no helmet.

Do you know why girls wear a shawl on top of their churidar, because it's Indian tradition to cover all eating and dirking things when not in use.

Completing engineering is like a girl pregnant everyone will appreciate the outcome, but no one knows how many attempts were made.

Kid by chance enters into parent's bedroom and is shocked at what he sees. He shouts at his mom and you scold me for just sucking the thumb.

Midnight hot: After 1st night. Husband: dear what do you think about our first night? Wife: darling 5% pain, 5% enjoyment and 90% old memories.

Contest in a girl's college: write a short essay which contains religion, sex and mystery. Winners essay: oh god, I am pregnant, I wonder who did it.

A boy wanted to have sex with girl friend ashamed of his small sex organ decided to bring girl friend in dark place opened his zip and put his sex organ on girl friend hands.

Girl friend: No thanks, I don't smoke.

A guy and girl had sex poem competition.

Guy: two times two is four, hour plus five is nine, I can put mine in yours, but you can't put yours in mine.

Girl: two times two is four, hour plus five is nine, I know the length of yours but you will never know the depth of mine.

Boy: aunty why was uncle lying on you last night? Aunty: he was checking my temperature. Boy: did he get it right? I saw the thermometer leaking.

What is meant by burning desire while making sex? It's when you discover that the Vaseline you applied before ucking in the dark was the tiger balm.

What is the difference between a cricketer and condom? A cricketer drops the catch and a condom catches the drops.

What's the similarity between school bell and girls hole? When you hit any of these, children come out.

Sardar: I divorced my wife on the first night.

Friend: why?

Sardar: I saw the label on her panties "tested ok"

What is sex? Its science with wife, its art with girlfriend, its commerce with prostitute and its social service with aunties.

Who is a true music lover? Ans: a girl is singing in a bathroom while taking bath and a boy near the keyhole is using his ears and not his eyes.

Man with no sex organ used a vibrator for years one day wife caught and asked: how dare you cheat me? Man: I will explain about the toy, can you explain about kids.

How to tell your girlfriend if you are going to urine during dinner? Dear, I've to shake hands with a close friend whom I am going to introduce you later.

Dad brought a robot which slaps a person who lies.

Dad: son, where were you?

Son: School, robot slap. Son: film.

Dad- which one?

Son: sai baba, robot slap again. Son: "A" film

Dad: what? I have not seen such films, robot slaps dad.

Mom: forgive him dear after all he is your son, robot slaps mom.

A few quotes on girls t-shirt:

there s a face above this, don't forget.

Object here appear bigger than they are.

I made you look at it.

F ck all that is missing is u.

Don't try to find sun here, its not mountain. This one is really tough for Edmund Hillary.

An innocent man watching blue film for the first time after marriage and see his own wife in it.

A guy and girl had sex poem competition.

Guy: two times two is four, hour plus five is nine, I can put mine in yours, but you can't put yours in mine.

Girl: two times two is four, hour plus five is nine, I know the length of yours but you will never know the depth of mine.

Boy: aunty why was uncle lying on you last night?

Aunty: he was checking my temperature.

Boy: did he get it right? I saw the thermometer leaking.

Prof: to keep your character good, think every woman as your mother.

Student: but thinking every woman as my mother will make my fathers character bad.

Girl: my right leg is lunch and left leg is dinner, what you will like to have?

Boy: I would like to have snacks between lunch and dinner.

A maths professor sent a sms to his wife. Dear you are now 54 years old and unable to satisfy me. Now I am with my 18 years old female student so I will be late tonight.

Wife replied: dear you're also 54 years and unable to satisfy me. Now I am with our driver who is also 18 years. As you are mathematicians you know very well that 18 goes into 54 many times more than 54 goes into 18 so don't come tonight.

Sardar was very angry because all jokes were about him; he asked his wife, tell me one joke without my involvement. His wife said: I am pregnant.

Wife: remove my nighty.

Sardar: ok

Wife: remove my bra

Sardar: ok

Wife: remove my panty

Sardar: ok

wife: never wear my dress again

Less noise: implementation of sex using while loop.

#include sex.h

#include bed.h

void pain ()

{

int sleep=0;

clothes=0;

voice=aah:

do ucking(); while (end1=pleasure);

get condom();

else

getchild();

}

Difference between good girl and bad girl. Good girl Open a few buttons in hot atmosphere, but bad girl open all button to make the atmosphere hot.

An innocent man watching blue film for the first time after marriage and see his own wife in it.

A couple having sex in bedroom asked son to stand in the balcony and keep telling them what's going on outside.

Son: john is buying fruits, Tina is playing and Michael uncle is ucking his wife.

Dad: what? Is he doing it openly?

Son: no, I haven't seen him but his son is also standing in the balcony.

Teacher: why did you laugh?

Boy: I saw one strap of your bra.

Teacher: get out of the class for 1 week.

Two boys laughed, Teacher: why did you laugh:

boys: I saw both straps. Teacher: get out for 1 month. She bent down to take chalk, jony started walking out.

Teacher: jony, why you are going out?

Jony: what I just saw I think my school days are over.

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