#hearing the children laughing and the adults talking and before he realises it he’s pressed his ear to the wall to hear them

[odetojupiter]

u ever think about how andrew has never been alone? going from group homes, to foster families, to juvie. to tilda and aaron, to nicky and aaron, to palmetto with kevin and neil. his deal with kevin means he, too, essentially has the raven partner system introduced to him up until kevin enrolls in the university and starts classes. and then neil too - jean says in tsc they’re never out of each others orbits for long. he’s never been alone, even when he has been; there’s always been people there talking to each other, filling the air, to the point where he has to break on to the roof for a few minutes piece and quiet. and even then, when neil joins palmetto, he starts joining andrew on the roof (even if they sit in silence he’s still not alone). makes me wonder how he’d react to graduating and having a place to himself for the first time. would it be a relief or would the silence set him on edge?

[landinoandco]

Could I ask for a Max Verstappen request?

Where you get all excited to tell him you’re pregnant and it doesn’t go well. Could you make it super angsty

Of course you can :) here you go, I hope you enjoy! 

Max Verstappen x reader 

Warnings: angst but with fluff at the end

Word count: 2.2 k 

Requests are open...

Baby, the future is ours

At last the summer break had rolled around again, to the relief of the Formula one drivers and crew, they had 3 long weeks ahead of them to fill with whatever they deemed stress-free or relaxing. The subject of activity depending on person to person - most sane folk tended to stick to a holiday to Greece or if you were an adrenaline junkie like Daniel Ricciardo jumping out of planes or BMX biking. You had lost count of the times Max - your boyfriend - had rushed in to tell you about all of the exciting things his best friend had gotten up to as of late. 

You and Max had decided to take a break and travel to a cosy, quiet part of Italy - to escape the press, the stress and most importantly the eagle eye of social media. It would just be you and him for a few weeks before reality brought you back to Milton Keynes in the shape of Christian Horner and his motley crew. 

You and Max had met in 2018 at a gala event Redbull had hosted, Pierre Gasly - being a close friend of yours - had introduced you two and to say the pair of you hit it off instantly was an understatement, whether it was a mixture of the Dutch meets British humour you had no clue but you weren’t one to complain. A few months later and Max had asked you to travel around the world with him - you did so willingly and life had been nearing perfect ever since. Of course you had your ups and downs, where the universe seemed to really test not only your love for one and other but your patience. A few arguments had shown you that both being hot-headed never ended well. 

You were sat out on the balcony, a book in hand and looking out into the Italien countryside. Max had left for a run and to explore the local village, leaving you, your thoughts and your growing baby. You were pregnant - you had taken the test just before flying out, this meant that Max wasn’t aware. You hadn’t told him yet and you had no clue how you were going to. As it turns out telling your partner you were pregnant was easier said than done - ironically. 

You and Max hadn’t had the baby talk yet - you had but only along the lines of: “one day, when we’re older and married and driving isn’t the main priority anymore.” Those were Max’s words. He wanted to be there for his child, to watch him or her grow, to see every milestone but most importantly to be a good and nurturing father. 

There was part of you that was slightly worried because you just didn’t know how Max would take it - you couldn’t keep it in any longer though. You had to tell him. There was another part of you that was excited - from a very young age you knew you wanted to have a family of your own with the person you loved the most. Call it childish naivety. At this point in time, you were ready to become a mother - well as ready as anyone ever could be. 

Placing your book onto the table, you made your way into the kitchen, grabbed a glass and filled it. Sighing loudly as you leant onto the countertop. 

“That was a loud sigh.” A voice called out from behind you. You recognised it instantly. Whipping your head around, you saw Max standing there, wiping the sweat from his forehead. 

Chuckling, you hit back, “Thank you, Captain Obvious.”

Rolling his eyes, he made his way over to you and wrapped his arms around your middle, placing a sweet, chaste kiss onto the side of your head. Leaning into his warm embrace, you let out another long but content sigh. 

“Seriously, what is it with you and sighing today.” Max uttered, his lips still against the side of your head. 

You went to move forward, out of his welcoming embrace. You knew what you had to do. 

“There’s something I need to tell you.” Instantly the atmosphere changed, you could feel Max stiffen behind you. Maybe the tone you chose to make that comment in was too serious but it was now or never. 

“Haha, which of your friends is pregnant this time.” He quipped jokingly, trying to break the tension. 

Instantly you knew the way the conversation was going to end, a pang of hurt felt in your stomach. You squeezed your eyes shut, catching your lip with your teeth. He stood there with an air of innocence and unknown, concern dancing in his eyes - he went to reach his arm out to you, to offer that encouragement. 

You braved the words that came out of your lips, “Me.” You almost whispered. Time seemed to slow. Max dropped his arm and instantly took a step back. 

“Pardon.” Was the only thing he could force out of his mouth, his throat seemed to close up and his hands went clammy. He definitely heard you the first time but he wanted to make sure it wasn’t a night terror. A bad dream he had failed to wake from. 

“I am, Max,” You said again, your voice wavering. 

“Oh.” He stated, his face drained of colour, his mouth set in a straight line. 

“Is that all you have to say.” You swallowed thickly, your eyes swam with tears. You had a hunch this was how it was going to end but it didn’t stop is from hurting the way it did. You had hoped he would have proved you wrong, to have wrapped his arms around you and to have spun you around. To have laughed. To have cried. To have shown a little more excitement to the fact you were now carrying his child. His first child. 

You moved past him and sat down on one of the wooden chairs, rubbing your hands over your face. He was still stood there. His eyes fixated on the view out of the window. No emotion read in his eyes. It was almost like you had hit the ‘off’ button. He tapped his foot and made a clicking noise with his mouth before turning around to face you - meeting your gaze. 

“How long have you known.” His voice was hoarse.

“A couple of days before we flew out.” You answered him, moving your face back to rest in your hands. 

There was a pause. “Why didn’t you tell me sooner.”

You took a breath, looking him dead in the eye. “Because I knew this was how you were going to react.” You didn’t trust your voice at all, you also didn’t know whether you wanted to scream at him or cry in the corner. 

“Right.” Was all he said. Still stood there like some awkward teenager after a rather large telling off from their mother. 

“Is that all you have to say to me?” You asked him, nostrils flaring. You were allowed to be angry, right? 

“What do you expect me to say.” He rounded on you, his voice raising more than was necessary. Tears had spilled down your cheeks, you didn’t have the energy to fight back. As soon as he realised the effect this was having on you, he went to move forward again, his eyes softening instantly. “I’m sorry - I - I shouldn’t have raised my-”

“Get out, Max.” You stated lowly. By this point, you had stood up, shuddering away from his desperate grasp. He knew he had made a mistake. You knew he regretted it, the moment the words had left his mouth. 

“Get out?” He repeated quietly, his voice cracking, you could see tears glazing his vision. 

“Just - please, go on a walk - come back once you have more to say to me.” You spat.

“But - But I already have more to say-” You cut his rambling off once again. 

“Please. Max.” You insisted, your voice betraying you again. “Go.” You whispered. 

Max stormed out of the door, ensuring to slam it so hard the chandelier on the ceiling swung precariously. You sank back into your chair and let out a loud sob, unable to hold it in any longer. 

Max was mad. Not at you, that would be unfair. He was mad at himself. At the world. At everything actually because at this point why the hell not. You were pregnant - don’t get him wrong, he was over the moon. He was going to be a dad. 

It was too soon. 

He still had his full F1 career ahead of him. A promising and long F1 career as a matter of fact. He wanted a baby to be his main priority and he wanted to share those one in a lifetime moments with you. He knew there was no point in being mad, it wasn’t like they were in a position where they couldn’t have a child. They had plenty of things to offer, a nurturing home with parents who were head over heels in love with each other and a large family - blood and not - who would be willing to support and love the child as if it was their own. Max really was in love with you. He knew it would be you to mother his children in the end, he just didn’t think it would be now. 

He reached for his phone, went into his contacts and pressed on the number that read the name: “D.R new phone.” Whilst it wasn’t adventurous like many thought it would be, it saved the confusion from calling a number that no longer existed. 

Daniel picked up on the second ring. “Hey dude, how’s it going?” 

“Not good at all, Dan, not good at all.” Max admitted, his voice wavering once again. He explained the events that had happened a mere 5 minutes ago, the way he reacted and the way he left you. Hurt and alone.

“I’m not going to lie to you, mate, you’ve fucked up big time.” Dan spoke after what felt like a loud silence. After all, Daniel knew you just as well as he knew Max. 

“I know. I know I have, do you think I’ve been selfish?” He asked, his tone full of raw emotion. 

“Yes.” Dan stated simply, “I think you have been, especially since she even told you this is how she thought you would react. How much stress do you think she had been putting on herself? Come one, I’ve taught you to be better than this.” Daniel paused, Max could almost hear him place his thumb and ring finger onto the bridge of his nose. “You know, just as well as I know, she knows it isn’t the best time. Her becoming pregnant is very much a two person job, I think it’s time that you go back to her and have a conversation like the adult I know you are.” 

In that moment, Max was so grateful to have someone like Dan just a call away. “Thank you, Dan. Really. I don’t know what I would do without you.” 

“Alright Mr Father-to-be, don’t be going all soppy on me now.” Daniel joked, returning back to his normal teasing. That was the best thing about Daniel, he was quite useful when you needed him to be. 

“You can count yourself on being the godfather after that.” Max added, a large beaming smile plastered onto his face. 

He heard Dan let out a loud laugh, “Go on, leave me be. Good luck, mate, let me know how it goes and when the time is right tell her I say congrats.” 

“Of course, mate. Thank you, again.” Max muttered, looking back in the direction of the villa. After he hung up, he stuffed his hands into his pockets and ambled slowly - working out exactly what he was going to say to you. 

Once he had opened the door, he called out to you. “Babe?” He heard a sniffle in response. You were still slumped on the chair in the kitchen, shooting daggers at the cupboard opposite. 

Max sat opposite you, reaching out for your hand. Grudgingly you let him take it, you blinked and he took a deep breath before a large, beaming smile crept onto his face.

“We’re going to be parents.” He rubbed the back of your hand, speaking tentatively. You nodded, your lower lip trembled. Max stood up, still keeping a hold of your hand as he gave it a slight tug, indicating that you should stand up. You made your way into his embrace, his arms wrapping securely around you, tucking your face into the crook of your neck as he rocked gently side to side, burying his face into your hair. He then moved his hands to cradle your face, wiping the stray tears away before peppering your face with feather light kisses. 

“We’re going to be parents.” He repeated, a little louder and to this you let out another sob, laughing as he picked you up and spun you around. 

“I’m sorry. I was being selfish.” He said, as he wrapped you back up into his arms. You smiled into his chest. In that moment, you couldn’t be happier. It was like all of your childhood dreams had come true. In that kitchen stood your new family, mismatched and sometimes a little bit broken but you wouldn’t have it any other way.

[wizkiddx]

heyheyhey idk if u do req but love your dad tom stuff! PLZ PLZ do tom helping his kids with homework but cant do it and reader has to help and its all fluffy 😩💕

ye im down to do req and this had me going completely ott cos its v cute (and a lot less angsty than what ive written recently aha) so apologies for my ramblings:

Summary: tom has the kids for a day and maths homework throws a spanner in the works - tomhollandxreader

implied smut + v slight reference to porn but basically just fluff I promise xox

\\\\\\\\\\\\///////////

Tom had dealt with a lot of whining today. Nova and Leo were the absolute joys of his life, there was no doubt about it. Of course, he also loved you a hell of a lot too - sometimes to his detriment though, hence the position he was in now. 

You’d had a busy week at work and he had been away for the first half of it - leaving you as an almost single mother to a 5 and a 7 year old. So completely fairly, you’d asked if he wouldn’t mind watching the kids for a the day on Sunday, allowing you to go to a friends baby shower. There was no answer but to agree, Tom loved quality time with the kids and he wanted you to kick back and relax with you friends too. 

However the afternoon had not been nearly as idealistic as it were supposed to be in his head. You had left him only one real job (apart from the unavoidable essentials of keeping the kids alive with food and water, something you’d hope he need not be reminded about now). Really it shouldn’t of been that hard, it was just each kid had two pieces of homework. After convincing and cajoling the kids into sitting at the table which he’d already set up with Nova’s ‘Liverpool FC’ and Leo’s ‘captain marvels’ pencil case, the English was easy. 

In fact 5 year old Leo took great joy out of writing a poem with his Dad, which basically involved trying to rhyme any word with another - especially when he tried to convince Tom that all his completely fictitious words were real and worked together. A personal favourite had been ‘snakes’ and ‘palakes’ which Leo was convinced meant pancakes - arguing so vehemently Tom almost started to doubt himself on basic English. 

Thankfully though his eldest and most sensibly child eventually took him out his misery. If anyone had any control over the Holland boys, Leo and Tom - it was the Holland girls. You and Nova had both boys completely under you spell, often taking advantage of the fact too. It was only when Nova got bored of hearing Tom and Leo mock arguing, interspersed with the little boys giggles that Tom tried his absolute hardest to keep a straight face at, that she swooped in.

“Stop being silly Leo, mummy told you he’s not good at school!” She looked oh so innocent, eyes immediately flicking down to continue the little short story she was happily going on with. In response  Tom scowled, knowing your highly curious and intelligent daughter had asked you (for one reason or another) why he was not so academic. Yet instead of Leo bursting out laughing, instead he just nodded and accepted it too - making Tom scowl even more. Not even Leo thought it was a joke. 

So apart from his children apparently taking pity on his simple mind, it was all going smoothly. Perhaps, due to the thankful fact your children had inherited their brains from their mother - something Tom was forever thankful for, until he was shamed for his substandard intellect in the family. Then again though, he was Spiderman. So take that. 

Until Nova brought out her maths sheet. Then the afternoon quickly descended into chaos. It was fractions, something she hadn’t quite grasped from school yet - a concept that still hurt her head somewhat. Normally though it’d be fine, she’d bring the sheet to you and the two of you used ‘ girl power’ to figure it out… you prior experience as a tutor while in uni helping you know how to break through to her. 

Unfortunately Tom didn’t share this same experience. Nor did Tom share a maths qualification… something that had evaded him completely during his schooling career. Of course, it had never been a particular issue, acting didn’t require the use of maths and algebra and Tom was in a very lucky position of being able to pay someone to manage his finances from a very young age. So no, dividing 2/3 and 3/7 didn’t come the most naturally to him. Or at all to be quite honest. 

“I CANT DO IT AND GRACE IN MY CLASS COULD!” For context, Grace was one of her school friends, who forever liked to compare herself to the young Holland - especially because she was normally ahead. Nova had gone from quiet frustration, staring at the questions with her tongue sticking out slightly, to one of pure rage - yelling at her dad with tears in her eyes. Nova was normally incredibly intuitive, she always found it difficult when she couldn’t do something. Now, with a ‘teacher’ who was more useless than her - the frustrations inevitably bubbled over. 

“Hey, we can work it out, just calm-“

“YOU CANT DO IT EITHER YOUR STUPID “ She was just young and frustrated, Tom tried not to take it personally but … it wasn’t always easy. Chiefly because this was the height of offensive statement Nova knew - this was her version of adult explicit language. 

“Nova you can’t be rude.” He used his stern voice, something Tom very rarely used with his little girl. Though he never wanted to upset her, neither did he want her to think it was ever okay to be so rude to anyone like that- no matter how crappy at maths they were. It hurt him to do so but it was necessary - life lessons about the importance of being kind needed to be learnt. And it worked… if what Tom was aiming for was his beautiful baby girl’s eyes to brim with sparkling tears, her bottom lip quivering slightly. 

Instantly Tom’s eyebrows drooped, trying to fight his natural reaction to scoop her onto his knee and reassure her everything was okay. But as you had lectured him many a time before, he had to put his foot down once in a while. So instead, the father and daughter were locked in a silence and intense eye contact, until Nova hesitantly began to speak. 

“I’m sorry Daddy.” During which, Nova shoved her chair back, making it screech against the tiled floors uglily before running off up the stairs. Tom knew she was crying a lot. Knew this was going to take a bit of fixing. 

With a sigh of his daughters name, Tom popped his head into the living to check on Leo who had already finished all his stuff. Seeing him completely zombified in front of ‘paw patrol’ on TV, Tom trudged up the stairs. He knew where she was, when Nova was upset she always hid in the corner of her wardrobe and cried in the darkness. So after steadying himself with a little internal monologue of how to approach the situation Tom walked in and sat down beside the wardrobe - knocking on the door slightly. 

“Nova… can we talk please?” All he heard was sniffing echoing from the wooden chamber until she tried to shout through the door.

“Go-go… go away daddy.” It broke his heart, the way her voice wavered, making Tom pout - gently letting his head fall against the wardrobe doors. 

“I don’t want you to be upset beautiful…. And you did apologise which I appreciate. You know why Daddy got angry right?” Her sniffles heightened before she muttered a quiet ‘yes’. “And you are sorry? Because that might’ve made me really sad too.”

“I’m s-s-sorry, I didn’t mean it.”

“Then that’s good and we don’t need to cry. You want a cuddle little one?” Before Tom could even properly get up the door was being pushed open by her little hands, revealing a tear stained face and big glassy eyes looking up at her Dad. Swiftly Tom scooped her up and out of the cupboard, whispering to her while she buried her face in his chest. 

“Oh come here my little bean.”

//////////////////////

When you came home late that evening, only mildly exhausted from spending the whole day gossiping with your girls, it was weirdly quiet. All the lights were out in the front room, which made you close the door gently, thinking Tom had managed to exhaust the kids - and himself in the process. With a relieved sigh at the peace you pattered into the kitchen to get yourself a drink (it had been a little concern that Tom would’ve worked the kids into a hyperactive and delerious state that kept them up long past bedtime - which ultimately you’d have to deal with). The house was remarkably silent and though it was clear from the littered toys everywhere that it had indeed been Tom alone in charge, everything seemed pretty okay. 

It was only as you were about to head upstairs to join your hubby in bed that you realised the study light was still on, streaming through the small crack in the doorframe. Assuming Tom had just neglected to turn it off, in otherwords Tom being Tom, you nudged it open with your hand. Surprisingly though, there was your husband, hunched over the desk, looking almost angrily focused - between the computer screen and a piece of paper below him. Normally you would’ve just assumed it was another script sent over or an edit Harry had sent of another screenplay they were writing together. 

But no, the blatant red flag was the screen that you could see. A screen on YouTube, of a man pointing at a whiteboard of fractions. 

So with a soft wrist you wrapped your knuckled on the side of the door, even if you had technically already entered the room. The reaction had you stifling a laugh, it was as if you’d caught him watching something *less PG* the way he jumped out his seat, closing the browser immediately. 

“Love!! I -er … didn’t know you’d got back?”

“I just did.” You smiled gently, while walking into stand behind his chair, wrapping your arms round his neck and pressing a kiss to his jaw. “Soooo…. what’ca doingggg” The glee in your voice was evident, making Tom groan and shut his eyes. 

“I hate you, you know that right?” 

“No you don’t… but you were watching a primary school video on fractions, if I’m not so mistaken?” He sighed deeply, making a point of turning the paper with his scribbles over to obscure it. 

“Nova’s homework.. she couldn’t do it and neither could I, so then she basically screamed at me for being thick and udseless and then had a breakdown.” 

Now you felt guilty. This was a bit of a sore spot with Tom, he always for some reason felt inferior because of his academic ability. Which was stupid- mainly because he was the most clever and talented man you’d ever met. Just…. Just not at fraction. 

“Oh T… you could’ve just left it for me to do with her, I don’t mind.”

“That’s not the point Y/n.” He snapped a little, shrugging your arms off him and spinning in the chair so he could face you. “She’s my daughter and I should be able to help her! It’s not like it’s that hard, it’s just I’m unbelievable thick.”

“Tom stop. Look - you can do this I assure you, it’s just been a long old time ‘kay? Your rusty and that’s only natural.”

“I really don’t think I could ev-“

“Can I teach you? It’s just the method and then I promise you’ll get it.”

It took a bit of persuasion but eventually Tom agreed, letting you pull the corner chair forward to beside his desk so you could demonstrate it to him. To be fair, he really could do it- just a bit of familiarising on the ‘stick-change-flip’ method. The way the lightbulb moment literally caused his face to light up; scurrying to do the question for himself, tongue sticking out in the process; then presenting it to you proudly - well it had you melting in your seat. 

“See! That took all of 5 minutes and you got it.” You elbowed  his side by leaning forward in the chair, which instead of letting go, Tom reached and caught, before pulling you up and round. You landed with you bum perched on the edge of the mahogany desk, Tom now stood up- his legs in-between your parted thighs - your feet hooking round the back of knees. 

“It’s all down to my incredibly talented teacher.”

“No…. No I really don’t think it is” You mused with a soft voice, fingers instinctively going to the nape of his neck - twirling the little curls round your fingertips. 

“Well even so… I think I could teach you a thing or two too.” Never one to mull on anything, Tom’s tone had immediately switched to something a lot more… mischievous. 

“Not even going to ask about my day? Wheres the chat mr smooth?” He had to repress the grin at your smirk because as much as you infuriated the hell out of him - you also had this weird ability of making him feel so entranced and helpless. He relented with a sarcastic chime.

“Fine, how was your day love.”

“Good…. but I have a feeling you’re about to make it a whole lot better.”

That was all the signals he needed to lean forward, in doing so forcing you back until your back landed completely on the cool wood. His lips feathered yours, both hands pinned either side of your head.

“Oh darling… you have no idea.”

[pregnant-piggy]

Start of a new life

Sirius Black x reader            part of the dad!marauders series

Words: 2k

A/N: yet another fluffy fic that warms my heart. I am writing the marauders as dad with so much fun, because it’s basically anything that I want to include, since there is absolutely no canon to keep in mind. While the dad!Remus fics are all separate fics (so far, and i think it’ll stay like that), the dad!Sirius will be a more coherent storyline. I hope you like this!

With a beating heart you sit on the edge of the bed, staring at the little white stick in your hand. Just one more minute before you knew if you whole life would change.

It would be a change of the better. You had been together with Sirius for seven years already and you could not think of a better person to spend the rest of your life with. You had fallen for him at the young age of seventeen and ever since then your life had been amazing.

Of course there were also some low points. Your parents at first didn’t approve of your relationship, Sirius’ parents were an issue on their own and when Lily and James had Harry, Sirius had freaked out so much to the point that he was thinking of ending your relationship. That had been the first time that you had doubted his love for you. And it was the last time; his friends talked sense into him and you had had a long, difficult talk about the future.

But that was four years ago. You both weren’t the young adults you were back then. Watching Harry grow up in your little family was the best thing to see. Sirius had grown to love the child with his entire heart and he eased on the subject of children of his own. So much that he even had admitted to you that he wanted them.

And now you were waiting for that.                    

Your period was late, or better said, not; you felt a little sick; your fingers were swelling; you had an immense craving for anything sweet and, your breasts were bigger. Not so much bigger that others could see it, but you noticed it. Mostly because they were hurting.

You knew all the symptoms; you had been there when Lily was pregnant. If you weren’t pregnant, then you should be worried because something might be really wrong with you.

It wasn’t like you had exactly planned for this to happen. When Sirius had said that he wanted children, you didn’t expect to get pregnant three months later. You weren’t even sure if he wanted them now. Maybe he wanted to wait a few years.

You looked at the time; twenty seconds left.

The hand you were holding the test with was shaking lightly. You closed your eyes and took a deep breath. The scent of the vanilla candles on your nightstand reached to your nose and you calmed down.

The room you were in also had a calming effect on you. The bedroom was your favourite place of your house. Two big windows on one side of the room let in a bright light. The soft green bedding gave the room a green glow as the light fell on it. The dark wooden floors contrasted with the very light green wallpaper that you had found in a small store in the city.

But the room wasn’t you favourite because all of that. The room was your favourite because it had so many memories. It was the place where you lied entangled with Sirius every night, the room in which you shared your secrets, you cried, laughed and celebrated life in this room.

You opened your eyes and looked at the test. Two pink lines showed on the little display.

You were pregnant.

- - - - -

The front door shut behind Sirius. He waited for you to greet him like you normally did, but he was met with silence. Swiftly he took of his coat and walked to the nearest room; the living room. He found you asleep on the couch, with your hands around a pillow, holding it tight to your chest.

Sirius smiled to himself. Even after seven years, he was still grateful for every day he could spend with you. Every morning he woke up next to you he thanked all the gods in the world for having you. He could not think of anyone who suited him better.

A small kiss was placed on your forehead and you moved at the touch, but stayed asleep. Sirius wiped the hair out of your face and looked at you for another second before he got up to make dinner.

The kitchen was a small space. Your whole house was small. But that was why you and Sirius had bought it. The smallness had something comforting about it. Sirius had grown up in a big house with a dozen bedrooms and it was nice to live in a place where he knew every room.

Buying the house had been like a promise to you. After Sirius had almost messed everything up after Harry’s birth, he wanted you to know that he wanted to grow old with you. And where better to grow old than in a little house in the city?

It wasn’t like Sirius had wanted to end things with you. But the realisation that they were no longer the teens they had been, scared him. He hadn’t known if he was ready for the adult life. He was only twenty!

But that was now four years ago. Harry had grown to the cute toddler he was today and Sirius was no longer scared of the future. Living in this house with you had shown him that the future would be great, as long as he got you in it. He even had admitted to you that he wanted kids. Seeing Harry around made him realise that children were long not as scary as he thought. If James could do it, then so could he.

As the pots boiled on the stove, Sirius walked back to the living room. You were still in the same position and still asleep, Sirius could hear by your breathing. He dropped to his knees in front of you and stroke your cheek.

‘Darling? You need to wake up, love. Dinner’s almost ready.’

‘Five more minutes,’ you grumbled as you pressed the pillow closer to your chest and pouted.

Sirius barked out a laugh and took your hands from the pillow. Your hands were cold and clammy and did not match your body temperature. As Sirius wrapped his arm around your waist, he felt that your skin was burning up almost. He pushed you into a chair and pressed a kiss on the top of your head before he disappeared in the separate kitchen.

‘Are you alright?’ he asked through the open door, while putting the food on the plates.

‘I’m fine,’ you said back, but your voice was weak; probably because you just woke up.

When Sirius entered the dining area again with two plates in his hands he found you with your head in your hands staring at the window on the other side of the table. The room was dark as the clouds outside turned into dark grey ones. It was November so the sun had already set and that only added to the darkness. The lamp above the dining table gave the room a yellow glow and the corners of the room were hidden in shadows.

You pushed the food around on your plate with your fork as Sirius talked about his day at work. It wasn’t that it was very necessary for the both of you to work; Sirius’ uncle had left him enough money. But you had tried that for two months and those had been the most boring months in your life. You needed something to work on. So Sirius and James found a job at the ministry, where they gave courses for children about defence against dark arts. It wasn’t a full time job; they only had to be at the office three days a week and sometimes a fourth day.

If you had asked Sirius at sixteen what his job would be later, he would have never said something that even slightly involved children. But he enjoyed his job more than he had imagined when James had dragged him along for the first time.

You worked with Remus in the bookshop of his father. Now this one was too old to do all the work, he had asked his son to help him. And Remus had asked you. It wasn’t a very busy job. The shop was located in the inner circle of the city in an old building. In all your years that you had worked there, the shop had never been crowded with people. And yet there were enough sales for the store to stay.

‘Don’t you like the food?’ Sirius asked, when he noticed you hadn’t eaten that much.

‘I do. I’m just not that hungry,’ you mumbled and you put your fork down.

‘Are you sure you’re alright?’ Sirius asked worried and he took your hand over the table. The small touch seemed to do you good, because you put a smile on your face and your cheeks got a little more colour.

‘I am fine, love, really.’

Sirius squeezed your hand before he let go of it and he ate the rest of his food, while he kept an eye on you.

- - - - -

Alone in the kitchen you dared to breathe out with a loud sigh. Sirius was upstairs taking a shower and you were doing the dishes. Or the dishes were doing themselves as you stood and stared out the window. It had started to rain and the little raindrops on the glass were racing to get to the bottom first. The window was slightly opened and a cold breeze blew in your face. You closed your eyes and breathed in the smell of the rain.

Two strong arms wrapped around your waist and spun you around. You placed your arms around Sirius’ neck and pressed your lips on his in a soft kiss. He smiled against your lips and his mouth travelled to your neck. You brushed your fingers through his wet hair and felt the drops roll down your hands.

‘Sirius?’ you asked softly.

‘Hmm?’

He didn’t let go of you and his lips never left your skin as he placed you on the kitchen counter. His hands squeezed your hips as he sucked on your skin. You pushed his head back with a faint smile on your face. He looked up to you and his smirk faded when he saw your nervous expression.

‘What’s the matter?’ he asked and he hooked one arm around you waist, pulling himself closer between your legs, while the other hand cupped your cheek. You smiled and pressed a kiss in the palm of his hand.

‘I’m pregnant.’

Sirius froze in his position, his hand on your back and the other on your cheek. His eyes widened and his jaw dropped. For a minute he stood still and said nothing, just stared at you.

There was a nervous twitch in your stomach as you waited for Sirius’ reaction. You didn’t know what to expect. This was something new for both of you. You had watched James and Lily do it and it had seemed so easy. But now you already started to doubt that.

‘You’re pregnant?’

‘I’m pregnant,’ you repeated not able to suppress a chuckle of disbelief. ‘We’re gonna be parents.’

‘We’re gonna be parents,’ Sirius slowly said as if he didn’t believe what you just told him. ‘We’re gonna be parents… I’m gonna be a dad… I’m gonna be a dad! We’re gonna be parents!’

Sirius’ frown turned into the biggest smile and he jumped around in the kitchen, nearly colliding with the wall. He kept yelling and pacing excitedly in the kitchen while you watched him from the kitchen counter. This was the best reaction you could have hoped for. You feared the whole street now knew you were pregnant, but at the moment you didn’t care. Seeing Sirius so happy and enthusiastic for something warmed your heart and for a moment you were reminded of the boy he had been at the age of seventeen.

‘You’re gonna be a mother,’ Sirius said and he stood back between your knees. He held his hands out for you to take them and squeezed them. He pulled you close and kissed you softly. Now he was so close you could see the tears on his cheeks. You wiped them away with your thumb and kissed his forehead.

‘You’re gonna be the best dad.’

- - - - -

taglists

dad!marauders: @wassup-peoples​ @iamak20​ @alice-grant-rogers​ @swearingsolemnly​ @hitmewithatrainplease 

Sirius: @treestarrrrrrrr​ @bumbelbeeesblog​ @with1love1anu​ @transparentttttttttt​ @sirius-satellite​ @cheoco​ @malikinglove​ @alwaysinmydaydreams​ @eateraa​ @bi-andready-tocry​ @fangirlofbooksandpasta​ @littlemissgothgirl​ @always394patronus​ @heavenly-ascended-melodies​ @mrs-moony​ @coldlilheart​ @fific7​ @april-showers-and-flowers​ @susceptible-but-siriusexual​

Marauders: @secretsthathauntus​ @ronniethelost​ @sognatrice-as-a-hobby​ @wecouldbreakthedistance​ @valentina-007​

general HP: @kitkatkl​ @girllety​ @yuptha-tsme​ @sleep-i-ness​ @iamak20​ @thefuturelawyer​ @weasleydream​ @missmulti​ @deafgirltingz​ @moonstarrnghtsky​ @bloodblossom73​ @mytreec​ @lilulo-12fanfiction​ @emmaloo21​ @kashishwrites​ @ananad1​ @figlia--della--luna​

let me know if you want to be added/removed!

MASTERLIST

[peralta-guaranteed]

Amy on a Santiago Family Skype Meeting and Jake wanting a kiss before he has to leave hc

Amy is trying not to let her fatigue show - she loves her family, she really does, but anyone would start cracking after literally two hours of a Skype Meeting with seven brothers and a set of parents (okay, her dad was mostly there for tech support while her mom chattered, but he still counted).

Her eyes are slightly glazing over while one of the boys starts talking about his son - who's interrupted the call several times to say hello to all the tios and one tia anyway - when she notices the door to her bedroom opening, even if it's not entirely visible on the screen.

"Hey babe, I'm gonna- oh sh- sorry I didn't know you were still on the call-"

Jake seems to be scrambling through all five stages of grief after realising what he just interrupted and that he almost swore in front of her mom, who is very much not on board with that ever, even as all of her children are adults now. He calms slightly when there is a chorus of "Jake! YO! How's it going? HI JAKE! Hey bro! What's up? Jake my maaan!" from the seven little tiles of faces excited to see him (meanwhile Julian, the second youngest, teasingly imitates his "hey baaabe" in a singsong voice).

"Hi", he waves into the tiny camera after walking over to her desk, making sure to say a specific hello to her parents and yep, she picked good. "Sorry, just wanted to say I'll be leaving for that stake-out now."

"Oh right!" Amy looks at him while the chorus turns into a collected "Byyye Mr. Big Policeman" and other stupid nicknames while Benedict, the youngest still in college and very undecided, mumbles a quiet "so cool". He's probably heading for the academy soon.

"I put dinner in the fridge for you. Guess this is gonna take a while." He grins with a quick look to the laptop, graciously omitting that 'dinner' was another box of takeout they'd ordered before David had called the impromptu Santiago Meeting. She realises, then, that she's ditched her boyfriend for two hours at her own place, letting him dither around before a somewhat risky stakeout he was definitely not to happy about, and feels an appropriate amount of guilt. She knows Jake can entertain himself well enough when he's at her apartment and she's busy with something, but he'd probably definitely planned to spend the evening a bit closer to her than it had turned out.

She puts a unspoken apology into her smile, only to notice he's clearly waiting for something, and cringes a little when she realises for what.

They've always made sure to kiss goodbye when leaving each other, especially if one of them is heading out for work. Even with something as well-practiced as a stake-out, with their profession there is always the slightest chance that they might not make it home for a while, or.... never. A proper kiss and I love you before the other goes is the least they can leave each other with, and they've adhered to it strictly, even after a fight or when one of them was still half-asleep.

But they're center-stage in front of her entire family now, and she can feel all nine sets of eyes (ten if you count Jake) bore into her. It's different when they're all together for real, at some family party, and she can stand aside a bit with Jake's arm around her waist to peck a kiss on his cheek or even on his lips, but even then at least one of the Santiabros (ugh she hates that group chat name) will notice and tease them about it.

To have them all sitting front row for it? She's probably going to die from both embarassment and little-sister-rage if they start up.

Jake seems to notice her unease, or maybe he just realises that the usual lean-for-a-kiss is definitely not happening, and with a quick side-eye to the screen and its waiting faces, he decides to do what he does best.

Tease her.

"So goodbye babeee~" His voice is in an exaggerated sing-song now while he presses a loud, smacking kiss to her cheek, cradling the other with his hand like some overbearing auntie. "Love youuu~" He continues with yet another noisy smooch before she pushes him away, trying hard to ignore the laughs and shouts from her speakers. He joins in with the laughter while actually pinching her cheek before standing upright to leave, but his face turns far more somber as soon as it is out of range of her camera.

"Just a second." She growls towards her family, still hooting. "Gotta kill my boyfriend."

He's already at her door again when she reaches him, and she was planning to give him a little punch at least, but his smile as he turns back to her is so soft and his eyes are so shining and there is no way she can't not give him their proper goodbye.

So she places her hands around his neck instead, fingertips behind his ears, and smiles back.

"Bye, cariño", she whispers (the Spanish always sneaks into her speech more after time with her family), and it was meant to be just a short peck to his lips, but then his hand is soft between her shoulderblades like it is so so often, and she forgets all about the seven brothers and parents in the room - kind of.

She's quickly reminded of them when she can hear David's "You know we can still see you, right?" between Whoohoos and whistling. "Get a room!" she recognises from Alonso, with a quick "They are in their room" from Julian. She won't let them get to her this time, though, simply removing one hand from Jake's face to stretch behind her with a middle finger pointed in the direction of her laptop while she kisses her boyfriend (her love) again, and only her mom's gasped "Amelia!" makes her finally break away and shoo him out the door with a smile.

[theladyofmanyfandomsfanfiction]

Festive Fuelstop

Pairing: Mando x Reader

Warnings: None.

Summary: You, Mando and the Child end up in a small town and get pulled into their traditions.

A/n: Happy Holidays, my loves!

You walked out of the Crest and took a breath of fresh air after a week of being trapped inside the flying metal. Despite having to make an emergency landing, you were thankful that the fuel line had started leaking just to stretch your legs. You and Mando had landed on the outskirts of a charming village where the mechanic actually refused the credits that the Mandalorian offered to repair his ship.

“Oh, golly. I can’t take payment now - I haven’t made any repairs.” The man chuckled heartily and whistled for his best workers to get on the job. The repairman then focused back on the new arrivals. “Why don’t you hold on to those credits and take your family down to the markets in the meantime?”

Mando appeared to have frozen so you leaned forward and pulled his hand back, flashing a smile to the kind man.

“The markets sound wonderful - could you point us in the right direction?”

You were given instruction to follow the wooden path down the hill until you reached a clearing into the central part of town which you, Mando and the Child followed.

When you reached the bottom, the townsfolk were in a buzz carrying boxes of shiny strings and coloured balls from one part of town to the next. Homes were decorated with lights strewn across the fences and roofs, some even had a green wreaths on the front door. Adults met up with one another with a grin as they walked in the same direction while children chased each other in tow.

You and Mando exchanged curious glances. This wasn’t something either of you had come across and your confused expression caught the attention of a passerby. The man stopped before the two of you and pointed.

“Visitors?” He guessed with a smile on his face that highlighted a hidden dimple.

You returned the smile and Mando nodded, “Our ship is being repaired uphill.”

“Well then it’s in safe hands. Please, feel free to join us in the Square while you wait.” The man invited and then walked away in the same direction as everyone else. It seemed like the whole town was headed that way.

Folding your arms, you turned to the bounty hunter, “Is it bad that I want to know what’s happening in the Square?”

“We have to keep moving.” Mando reminded as he looked around the buildings. “Maybe find a diner of some sort.”

You watched as more of the townsfolk left their homes and bit your lower lip as you thought - then you heard the child croon and idea came to mind.

“If everyone’s in the same place then none of their lodgings, food or otherwise, will be open. We’ll have a better chance to blend in alongside everyone else while seeing what has everyone so excited.” You said. “And the kid might never experience this again.”

The Mandalorian cocked his head to the side when he heard you.

“Are those reasons for the kid or for you?”

You shot him a side-eye and shook your head. Without hearing his argument against the plan, you followed the crowd and - in a few minutes - his beskar arm braces were bumping beside you.

It was a short walk to the heart of the town where a large green tree gleaming with lights and decoration sat in the middle. Your jaw dropped, eyes mesmerised with the sight that you almost knocked into the woman in front of you had it not been for Mando pulling you back. As the last few people joined, you realised that it was getting too close-for-comfort for the child so you moved to a more open space a little further from the festivities.

You returned to staring in awe at the magnificence of the tree and couldn’t help but smile, “What are they celebrating?” You wondered just as a little boy zoomed past with his friends, hearing your question. He stopped before you and Mando and placed his hands on his hips.

“You must be travellers! Tonight begins the First Ice of Holly Day. We gather around the tree just before the snow begins to fall - which should be starting soon!” The young boy explained and then ran off leaving the baby to lean over his cradle and coo.

Soon? You looked up to the skies and noticed that they had now been filled with frosty grey clouds. The sun began to fade away which illuminated the lights around the entire town making everything glow. As it darkened just a touch more excitable voices began talking quickly, most of it inaudible. You were so caught up in the moment that you hadn’t realised Mando tensing up beside you until you turned to him. He looked like he was ready to be jumped. You opened you mouth to chide him when there was a joyful cry from the far side of the tree.

“Look - look! It’s snowing! Holly Day has begun!”

You , Mando and the Child looked up once more and, sure enough, small snowflakes descended upon the happy town. A chilled breeze set in and you remembered that you weren’t properly clothed from when you exited the ship a while ago. You were about to suggest finding some coats when Mando turned his head toward the clearing.

“We should head back. I don’t want to be caught in a snow storm at the base of a hill.” He told you. You glanced at the baby trying to catch the snow in his mouth and sighed. Mando was right.

You shivered slightly, dusting the snow from your shoulders. “Point made. But before we head back, I need to stop at a vegetable stall.”

“Why?”

You pursed your lips and squinted at the green womp rat in the cradle, “Because somebody keeps ‘force-flinging’ the celonslay into the refresher.” you leaned down to the baby and used the tip of your index finger to lightly press on his button nose. “Vegetables are what’s going to make you big and strong.”

You straightened back up and noticed the crowd the beginning to disperse as you looked around them to find some place that sold healthy greens.

Mando pointed over your shoulder quietly and you followed his hand to where a row of merchants stood with their goods just past the tree. You thanked him and requested that he and child stay put until you returned. The bounty hunter didn’t argue and so you ventured off to the markets. As you passed the tree you smiled once more at its beauty. A part of you wondered if Mando would oppose to having a small one in the ship. But then you thought better of it because if Mando didn’t oppose then the kid might tear it apart or worse, jam it into the refresher.

You passed the first stall which happened to be filled with florals and ‘Holly Berry Seed Pots’ and over to the second one where rows and rows of fruits and vegetables sat. Scanning the items, you spotted the celonslay and decided against purchasing it again. The Child clearly didn’t like it. As you browsed, a head popped up from behind the stall - it belonged to the man you first met upon reaching the town.

“It’s you.” You realised.

He chuckled and quirked a brow. “Twice in one day? I’m beginning to think that you’re following me.” He teased lightly and tapped his hands on the wooden counter top. “I’m glad you decided to come to the Square.”

The man inquired about how you felt about experiencing the First Ice and you told him the truth of how you adored the way it was celebrated. You both then returned to the task at hand and you asked for his suggestion on a vegetable that a baby would enjoy.

“Children are tricky to pick for.” The Merchant hummed as he looked over the available selection. “But I do have some gimer canes. If the kid is teething, he can chew on this to get important nutrients with a sweet taste. He might even do a happy dance.”

Your eyes lit up along with your smile, “That’s perfect, I’ll take four.”

“Gimer canes are fairly rare so...”

“I’ll pay you double.” You offered instantly, not bothering to discuss it with the Mandalorian.

You expected the Merchant to take the credits right away but he laughed admirably at you. “I was actually hoping that you’d come with me to the Holly Seed Planting tomorrow instead.”

As much as you wanted to stay, you and Mando were due to leave the planet in under an hour. Your shoulders visibly slackened and the Merchant seemed to have understood. He reached beneath the counter and lifted up a paper bag, handing it over to you.

“Here, consider it an early Holly Day gift.”

Slightly confused, you looked inside and saw four pieces of the rare cane. You didn’t know how to express thanks besides repeating the word in the hopes that it would be enough.

“It’s okay, really.” The Merchant said softly. “Times are strange, we may meet again.”

You flashed a smile and thanked him once more before turning to leave.

You returned to the Child and the Mandalorian shortly after and noticed the mechanic of your ship walking away from the beskar-plated man with a spring in his step and humming a tune.

“Was that...?”

“It was.” Mando sighed. “Apparently, the repairs won’t be ready until tomorrow afternoon because the mechanic doesn’t want to miss out on the ‘festivities’.”

You couldn’t really blame the creature for halting work and you looked over at the hill pathway that led to the ship. “Old fashioned camp out in the broken cargo hold?” You suggested.

“It’s getting dark and you’re exhausted. We’ll stay in town until the repairs are complete.”

This meant that you could repay the Merchant in full.

“Why are you smiling?”

You wiped the escaped emotion from your face and cleared your throat. Balancing the bag against your hip, you looked around the well-lit town, deflecting the question, “I’m sure that there’s a good lodging around here.”

And you were right, a short walk down the road landed the three of you at a comfortable inn for travellers. But as luck would have it, finding a decent sized room in the towns busiest time proved to be difficult and so, you, Mando and cradled baby were placed in a smaller, single bed compartment with extra blankets to compensate. While it was quaint, a part of you wished that you were back on the Razor Crest.

As Mando settled into the temporary sleeping quarters by checking the perimeters, you helped the kid out of his cot and onto the soft mattress. This hadn’t been the first time that there was only one bed between three individuals so you and Mando decided to take one side each to make sure that you were both well rested. And, to be involved, the Child would walk across the surface before sitting on the side that he wanted Mando to be. 

The kid cooed and then smacked his lips which reminded you that he had not been fed the since lunch. You walked over to the table by the door and dug into the paper bag retrieving a stick of the gimer cane before carefully handing it to the baby to taste.

Mando joined your side as the pair of watched the child chew on the cane with a happy squeal.

“He likes it.” Mando noted, relatively surprised. Your mouth hung open as you watched the green womp rat do a little seated ‘happy dance’.

The Merchant was right.

Speaking of the man, you remembered to tell the bounty hunter of your plans the next day, explaining - once again - that it would be a good way for the kid to learn and enjoy other customs. His sigh told you that he wasn’t thrilled but, ultimately, he resigned. “Fine but we’re leaving the moment the Crest is fixed.”

You tried to contain your smile but it slipped out which led to the Mandalorian shaking his head and heading for the bed to get some decent rest. He picked up the child and moved him to the centre before laying down on the sheets. As you watched the baby find a comfortable sleeping position against his chosen-father, you realised that you were fairly exhausted from the day. You took up the blankets that the lodging provided and laid along the empty bed space, covering yourself and the kid just before falling asleep to the burning candlelight.

When you woke to birdsong, you found that the child had switched sleeping allegiances and was now snuggled in your arms. Mando stepped out of the refresher and helped you to get ready for the day by removing the womp rat from your hold which led the child waking up with a small wail until Mando pacified him with a gimer cane.

Once all affairs were in order, you paid the lodging owner in full and left for the Merchant’s stall where the man had just farewelled a customer.

“Can I have four more gimer canes?” You wondered and the moment the Merchant saw you, he abandoned his job, rushing to the front with a smile.

“You- you’re still here.”

Nodding, you gestured to where Mando stood with the child, “Our repairs will be done this afternoon which means we can go to the Holly Seed Planting.”

The Merchant nodded and boldly took your hands when he spoke. “The Planting is in a few hours but there are things we can do before that!” He looked over your shoulder to Mando, “Tell me, friend. Have you ever gone sledding through fields of freshly lain snow under trees of light?”

Mando stared back through his visor, “Only to capture my bounty.”

The Merchant didn’t know what to make of the statement and you chuckled to lighten the air, “Sledding sounds wonderful!”

And that’s what you did. The Merchant took the three of you to a sledding field and you almost forgot about your mission to find the child’s people. Mando took the green womp rat for a ride after caving to his pleading coos while you rode with the Merchant. 

Once the snow-filled fun had run its course, you all ventured back into town for a hot meal at the local cantina and a short rest before learning that enough time had passed for the Holly Seed Planting. You and Mando followed the Merchant over to the large tree where, at its base, several plots were dug in long rows along the white frost.

“What’s so special about this event?” You asked as curiosity enveloped when you noticed people gathering in pairs.

The Merchant took your hand and pointed across, “Holly Seeds are special, they bloom fast with emotion and identical where love is pure. It’s a rare sight to see but it doesn’t make it any less fun to plant.”

“What happens to these seeds after?”

“We nurture them through the year, their roots and leaves merge until they form the Town’s next tree for Holly Day.”

If you had left the day before, you never would have learnt about something so amazing.

“Oh - I think it’s starting. Let’s go get a seed.” The Merchant told you excitably.

Mando made no effort to move quickly, instead he held onto the child and stepped back. “I think the kid and I will wait this one out.”

A part of you wished he wouldn’t remove himself but once the Mandalorian made up his mind, he often stuck to it. You focused on the Merchant once more, painting the snow with your footprints until you both collected a Holly Seed Pot each and kneeled by two empty plots.

“Okay,” The Merchant said, nestling a little closer, “so all we need to do is hold these next to each other and if everything is right, they’ll bloom.”

You held out your pot until it clinked against the Merchant’s. Almost instantly, a bud peered through the Merchant’s soil and it quickly grew into a stem ... then leaves sprang forth ... and finally, a white-petaled flower emerged, tilting forward like a bell.

You looked down at the pot in your hands and there was nothing - not even a hint of green.

You gave a dry chuckle to hide the way your heart sank, “I can’t imagine it’s good news if nothing happens, right?”

The Merchant shook his head to not worry you but you could see in his eyes that this came as a surprise to him too. Clearing your throat, you flashed him a smile and looked around the place where bursts of colourful flowers came to life. “So, what happens next?”

“Usually, we walk around and see if there are identical flowers before we plant them into the ground but...”

You noticed his eyes flicker to the various pots, clearly trying to spot his match, and placed an gentle hand over his shoulder.

“Go ahead, it’s okay.” You told him as he once told you. The Merchant hesitated briefly until you repeated yourself.

You got to your feet as he thanked you and then you watched him walk through the crowd. Glancing at your sad-looking pot, you remembered something and looked up to find your travel associates.

No green or beskar could be seen. You did, however, see the mechanic once again. He had just arrived and was talking to a friend about how he had just finished a job.

The Razor Crest must have been ready. You intended to give a farewell to the Merchant but when you saw him standing by a young woman with an identical white flower, you decided against it.

Let him have this moment. Taking the plant, you decided to blend out of the crowd and back to somewhere familiar.

—

The Merchant was kind but Mando felt his dislike for the local grow every time you were present. He blamed the whimsical nature of the town but Mando felt something envious surge in him whenever you talked about the Merchant with a smile. Then he had to spend the day watching the pair of you laugh and joke and... hold hands - Mando seriously feared that you may have been falling in love. When the Seed Planting came around, he tried to ignore the way you and the Merchant had grown fond of one other so he stood to the back of the crowd. He was blending in quite well until a sweet old lady spotted him and the child and handed him a Holly Seed Pot of his own. He tried to give it back but the woman ignored him and moved on. The Child cooed and Mando turned to see you kneeling by the snow and holding your pot against that of the Merchants.

He heard the baby croon and attempt to speak.

“I know buddy...”

The child started tapping his hands over Mando’s gloves and pulled his attention from the Jedi over to the pot in his hands.

A red flower had sprouted almost instantly while was distracted. The edges of the petals ran gold like ink.

His mind flew to what the Merchant had said about quick blooming flowers and the Mandalorian felt his heart race.

‘Fast with emotion.’ He had said.

Turning around, Mando made a quick getaway just as the townsfolk gathered to ‘ooh’ and ‘ahh’ around the flowers. Thinking fast, he decided to head back to the ship, almost bursting into a sprint. The child had fallen asleep during the trip so when Mando finally got to the Crest, he laid the infant down before getting to work. He took the pot plant over to the carbonite chamber and shut it inside with a hiss.

—

The walk uphill was long and exhausting. There were multiple times when you considered throwing the pot behind you but something always made you rethink and forget the option. When you finally reached the Crest, you spotted Mando fiddling by the carbonite chamber and the kid asleep in his cradle. You dumped the pot on the side bench and headed past the Mandalorian for the cockpit.

“I’m ready to get out of here.” You said, climbing up the ladder. Without missing a beat, you sat in the pilots seat and prepared for take off, closing the doors of the cargo bay. You were a fast flyer so you had the ship up in lightspeed in no time only dropping out when you were several systems away. As you prepped the ship for autopilot, you heard the familiar armour behind you.

“I’m sorry it didn’t work out.” He said gently. “The Jedi Order and the Mandalorian Way don’t give much room for romance.”

You leaned forward and flicked on two switches. A disappointed sigh escaping over the console. “I know. Sometimes, I hope for a sign that will lead me down a different path - one where I don’t walk alone. But it’s always a fools hope.”

The Crest’s engine sputtered, shaking loose a pipe above your head which made you frown when it bumped your head. “Dank farrik.” You muttered. “Can you get me something to fix this?”

The beskar helmet nodded and Mando turned down the narrow corridor. He went down the stairs to grab a wrench from his tools cabinet when a flicker of gold caught his attention.

Sitting on the bench was your Holly Seed Pot, a green stem had rose from the mud, blooming a red Holly Flower with gold trimming - just like his.

Masterlist here

[heyitsjay03]

Fighting for Tomorrow

AN: This is my first fanfiction I’ve ever posted on here and I’m a little nervous lol. I just hope you guys have as much fun reading this as I did writing this. 

Disclaimer: I do not own AOT and all rights go to the owners! 

Reiner x Reader, eventual Captain Levi x Reader, Sasha x Sister!Reader

Word Count: 8.3k words

TW: arranged marriage, blood/gore, swearing/adult language, mild sexual content

---------

You can read parts two, three, and four! Just tap on the number you want :)

   There’s a prolonged poke on my cheek, “Are you awake?”

   My eyes slowly open, wincing slightly at the sunlight fighting through my curtains. A black-haired, green-eyed little boy sits on my bed- face just centimeters from mine. There’s another poke. “Well? Are you?”

   “Eren,” I groan, rolling over in my bed and pulling the sheets up over my head. “How did you even get into my house?”

   “You leave your window unlocked every night,” he says simply, as if it were common knowledge. He’s not wrong… I can only imagine how many people know about my window. I shudder. Maybe I should start locking up more. 

   “Fine, but that doesn’t mean you can just… jump through it. What would your mother think?” 

   “She doesn’t care.”

   I roll back over and give him a hard stare before he slumps over. “I guess she does,” he mumbles, picking at the sheets on my bed. “But Mikasa’s with me so it’s not as bad.”

   “Where-?” I sit up, throwing the sheets off of me. “Did you bring Armin, too, Eren?” I ask exasperatedly as I tuck my arms close to my chest and search my room. 

   Eren nods, “They’re outside keeping watch.”

   “Keeping watch for who?”

   “For-”

   “Eren!” 

   The soft voice comes from just outside my window. We both turn towards it and watch as Mikasa’s face pops into the sill. 

   By the walls, how did I manage to end up babysitting these three maniacs? 

   “He’s coming!” Armin’s voice strains. I hurry to the window and see Armin giving a knee-up to Mikasa, his pale face slightly pink with exertion. 

   “Who’s coming?” I ask, turning to Eren.

   I don’t get a response. There’s someone’s footsteps crunching towards my front door. A single glance to the kids tells me they really, really don’t want to face whoever it is. I grip Mikasa under her arms and pull her through the window before snatching Armin’s collar and tugging him through the window. The two scramble to their feet- Armin taking longer than Mikasa- and hurry to Eren’s side. 

   There’s a pounding knock at my door, followed by a man yelling for me. Eren and Armin clutch my arms and slightly tuck their faces into the silk of my nightgown. Mikasa remains steady and calm- her grey eyes trained on the door. 

   The man steps back from the door, peering in the window just above my sink. I know his face all too well. It’s Tobias Walker. He searches the house, face pressed slightly against the glass.

   “What in the walls did you three do this time?” I mutter, hurrying to the front door. They remain at my side as I open the door. 

   Smiling warmly, I greet Tobias. “Hello Tobias,” I hum, “I wasn’t expecting you to visit until later on.”

   My fiancé forces a smile, staring down at the kids. “...I was… Just… looking for you four.”

   “Why?”

   Tobias takes off his cap, twisting it in his fists nervously. Slowly, he tears his eyes away from them. “These three have been pestering me at work again,” he mutters venomously. “Darling.” He says this sweetly and quickly- an afterthought, an attempt to curry favor for his side of the story. 

   Two can play at that game. “Really, Tobias? They’re just children- what can they possibly do that can distract my dedicated fiancé from his business?” 

    He stammers, running a hand across his forehead. He’s a mess. His tanned skin is slightly red, black hair slightly frayed and mussed. Sweat drips down his face, trailing his jawline. It’s a shame I didn’t know him before this whole ordeal. Maybe we would’ve come together on our own, who knows. 

   “__________, please,” he tries pleading with me before realizing the words that came out of his mouth. He stands up straighter, eyebrows and lips forced into straight lines. “I won’t be begging,” he mutters in an attempt to be firm. He stares down at the kids. “And they’re coming with me.”

   The small grips on my nightgown tighten. 

   “I’m sorry, Tobias,” I hum, rubbing the heads of each of the kids with a warm smile to each of them. My gaze turns back to the man in the doorway. “But there’s been some misunderstanding. Doctor Yeager had sent them to me. They brought me some of the stuff needed for the ceremony.”

   “I- We don’t need stuff for the ceremony-”

   “Are you rejecting the kindness of one of the town’s benefactors?”

   “Well, no-”

   “Did you want to spend extra money on the flowers and the arrangements?”

   “I don’t need charity-”

   A breathy laugh leaves my lips. “Tobias, you’re not thinking clearly. The Doctor had personally gone out of his way to tell me. He was on his way to work in Wall Sina when he stopped and told me he was sending stuff from his home to us. He didn’t even leave five minutes ago!” 

   It wasn’t entirely a lie. Doctor Yeager had told me of his business in another wall- the exact one was lost on me. I just wasn’t sure if he had left or not.

   Tobias gulps, eyeing me and then the kids. My hands find my hips and I tilt my head to the side slightly, “...now- how is it possible that they carried their packages all the way to the other side of town, pestered you, and then made it back across town within five minutes?”

   Tobias goes quiet, his mouth opening and closing like a trout. My eyebrow raises as I await his answer. His head twitches to the side and the grip on his cap grows tighter. “...I’m telling you-”

   “And I am telling you that you, in your infinite wisdom, are wrong. Now, I’m sure the factory is completely lost without you so I’d suggest getting a move on.” I push his chest slightly and close the door. The four of us strain our ears, listening to the tell-tale crunches in the dirt as he walks away from the house. I can hear him muttering, the fence slamming behind him. 

   Eren and Armin release their grips and sigh. Eren turns to look at me, eyes shining. I shake my head, “You’re not out of the clear yet, so you three go sit down and tell me what you were doing.”

   Eren stares dumbfounded at me, mouth slightly open. My eyebrow arches and he stands firmly in his spot. Armin grabs his arm, tugging him to the table. He practically throws Eren into a chair and takes another seat. Mikasa sits to Eren’s right, still silent and stoic.

   My arms cross over my chest as I stare at the lot of them. Mikasa’s fiddling with the red scarf around her neck and Armin doesn’t meet my gaze. Even Eren pretends to be interested in the grooves in the wood table in front of him. 

   “Well? What were you three doing in the factory? Haven’t I told you three to just leave it alone? It’s happening, whether any of us want it to or not.”

   “But it shouldn’t happen!” Eren erupts, slamming his palm to the table. My flower vase filled with wildflowers spins like a small dancer; stems arms stretched to a spotlight. The shaking of the vase echoes around the stillness of the kitchen. “He’s forcing you into a cage!”

   “He isn’t forcing me into anything, Eren,” I say quietly. “I made my choice.”

   “What were the options?” He snaps again, eyebrows drawn together to create fierce ridges that look out of place on a face so young. 

   I stay silent, focusing on keeping my breathing steady. I can feel my teeth biting down into the inside of my bottom lip, the tightness in my shoulders and back. Armin and Mikasa pull on Eren’s sleeves to pull him down into his chair. Eren shrugs them off, “He’s forcing you into something you don’t want- into a cage!”

   “Eren!” Armin hisses incredulously, his soft-blue eyes widening. “She’s an adult- you can’t talk to her like that!”

   “It’s okay, Armin,” I say softly, walking to the chair across from the three of them. “I should explain everything… Seeing as the three of you will probably find out one way or another.”

   Eren huffs, slamming himself back down against his chair. Their eyes remain fixated on me- each pair simultaneously gleaming with curiosity and boiling with rage. I groan softly, running a hand through my long, ________ hair. It catches on a few tangled naps. “I didn’t realise I was going to be explaining such a heavy topic so early in the morning,” I mutter, getting back up and walking to the cupboards. 

   “It’s past noon,” Mikasa states, earning an indignant ‘don’t say that!’ from Armin. 

   “Fantastic,” I breathe out, pulling the dusty, colored-glass bottle from the back of the cupboard. “Then I don’t feel so bad doing this.” I undo the stopper- a sweet smell wafting in the air behind the cork- and take a long swig. 

   Shuffling back to the table, I tuck the bottle back under my chair. “There’s no easy way to explain to three children,” I mumble, “But I know you’re all much brighter than your age. So… I’ll just start at the beginning,”

   “I was born in a small cabin in the woods of Wall Rose. My family were hunters and gatherers- we lived off the land like our ancestors before us. It was a… ‘simplistic’ type of living and I didn’t have the luxuries I have now but… It was honest living. We took from the land only what we needed and gave it back as best we could,”

   “There were people who looked down on us. Calling us… ‘out-dated’ and ‘backwards’. Maybe it was the way we dressed or how we lived or how we talked- whatever it was, they didn’t like us much... I got older and they had my little sister and I had started going to school in the village. I… I felt… it was awful- school. I was called awful things because of the way my family and I lived. I was an outcast and… So, I- ...I changed,”

   “I fixed my hair and bought makeup from the traders in the village. I mimicked the way my classmates talked and stopped going hunting with my father and sister. Eventually… Eventually I was accepted. I was a part of the group now,”

   “And I got even older and dreamed about leaving the village- to see what the other walls had in store and to leave behind the archaic ways of my family. That was when my family had their first run-in with Tobias. He wanted our land- to cultivate and grow grain for his factories. My family declined but he isn’t the type to take ‘no’ for an answer. He found out about my family’s money issues and… And he came to me. Tobias told me he knew and that he had a plan that would make everything go away.”

    I stop, my words catching in my throat. My hands turn about in the air before my finger taps against my lips in an attempt to coax my words out. Closing my eyes, I inhale deeply.

   “I couldn’t just… let my family suffer- you know that, right?” I ask hopefully, “We were suffering. We were starving and my mother was weak and my father was sick- what else could I have done?” I was rambling now and I knew it. I run a hand through my hair, tears pricking the edges of my eyes. 

   “So I told them I had a plan to get us out of debt and out of suffering. Tobias has to marry me. When Tobias marries me, he will be in charge of the land and will assume the debt. He’ll pay the debt off with the profit from the factory and then he’ll let us have three-quarters of it while he takes me and a quarter of land to be his…”

   “Prize,” Mikasa finishes for me. 

   My eyes flick up to hers. The boys do the same, taken aback by her words. I couldn’t even scold her- she was right. I was a prize to be won and that’s exactly what happened. I was won. 

   Her steel-grey eyes are unwavering as she looks at me. It was difficult to read Mikasa but being here for this long has taught me a few things about her. And right now, she was staring at me in pity. 

   “...the deal was struck and I was taken here to Shiganshina. A few weeks after moving in, I got myself a job working for Doctor Yeager as his assistant and apprentice until the day when I can succeed him... And that is when I met you three.”

   Eren looks about ready to burst at the seams- jaw tight, teeth gritted, eyebrows drawn, fists clenched. I reach out and place a hand softly onto his, smiling warmly. “This was my choice, Eren,” I hum, “And there’s nothing anyone can do about it. It’s been planned for almost two years now and the ceremony’s tomorrow. After that… Everything will be taken care of- the debt, my family, the land…”   I sigh. “And I can’t lie and say it’s not a nice living that I have here. I have a home and running water and a warm bed and you three knuckleheads to make my day better.” 

   Armin turns a light shade of pink, smiling bashfully. Mikasa even cracks a small smile. But Eren…

   I sigh again and run a hand through my hair. “Eren, please understand. If you were in the same situation- if Doctor Yeager got sick and your mother was too tired to take care of herself. If you had to look after Mikasa on your own… There’s nothing you wouldn’t do in that situation.”

   Eren opens his mouth and then closes it, his hands finding his hair and tugging slightly on the ends. “It’s… It’s not... fair.”

   “You’re right,” I mumble, “It isn’t fair. I should be able to make my own way but… Eren, life isn’t fair.”

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   “Are you coming?” Eren yells, charging head-on into the crowd of market-goers. Mikasa hurries after him, weaving expertly through the bodies without hitting a single one.

   “We are!” I yell back with a smile, standing on my toes to see the two pop out on the other side of the crowd. Eren stumbles, falling to his knees. Mikasa stops almost immediately and reaches down to him, offering a hand. Eren gets to his feet on his own. Dusting his jeans, he looks up at Armin and I on the other side of the crowd. 

   “Miss Braus?” Armin calls softly, gripping my skirt as we elbow past the bodies in the square. It wouldn’t be this hard if I wasn’t cursed to standing only 160 centimeters. 

   “It’s __________, Armin,” I laugh, squeezing us between two very upset men arguing over the price of meat. “I’m only a few years older than you- you make it sound like I’m some school-teacher.”

   “Why did Mister Walker choose to help your family? If he had just waited, he could’ve bought the land from the bank when they-” he stops himself. 

   We push through to the other side of the crowd. Eren leads us on towards the grassy hills while Mikasa stays on his heels. I sigh, shaking my head. “I have a lot of theories but… None of them make much sense.”

   “...do you think he knew you before? Maybe he was a classmate or a family friend?”

   “I didn’t pay that much attention in school, Armin,” I laugh, “I taught myself a lot more from books than the village wanted a woman to learn.”

   They may have called us backwards but they were the ones focused on the forced submission of the townswomen. Sexist swine.

   “Well… If he did know you, maybe he likes you.”

   My head turns down to face him. His porcelain skin has managed to grow almost completely pink as he realises what he’s just said. Stammers of apologies come stuttering out of his lips as he hastily attempts to take back his words. I smile and shake my head, placing my lips to his golden hair. “You may be right, Armin. You always were bright.”

   “...do you think you could ever love him?”

   We trudge up the hill, breezes running between our legs and through our hair. Mikasa is already at the top, sitting down as she watches a breathless Eren climb up the grassy knoll. I place a hand on the sunhat on my head, securing it as the breeze teases it off my head. 

   Could I ever love him?

   I try to see myself standing in the doorway of our home. Holding a baby on my hip, my other hand grips a child's hand. Tobias walks up the street and grins as the child breaks away and runs to him. Tobias picks up the child and walks into the doorway, pressing his lips to mine. 

   It’s all so... unnatural. 

   Tobias wants roots. I want freedom. I could never be a housewife. I want excitement and passion and unpredictability. He wants me to… To be his little trophy he can take down and polish after a long day at work. Something he can flaunt at dinner parties and work gatherings. 

   I’ve debated this a lot these past two years- whether or not I could love him. And the answer was always the same. 

   “No, Armin. I could never love him.”

   I sit at the base of the tree, soaking up the sun. It’s not hot- just pleasantly warm. Eren’s attempting to climb said tree after managing to convince Mikasa that he won’t fall. Mikasa directs him on his foot placement but I can hear the scraping of the undersides of his shoes as he slips down the bark once again. Armin has fallen asleep on my lap- golden hair stretched out on the mesh fabric of my dress. There’s an illustrated book splayed out beside me that flutters between pages in the wind. Something Armin had gotten from his grandfather, I’m sure. Clouds roll lazily above us, white and pure. They don’t dare to touch the sun. They just float past it- allowing the warmth to uninterruptedly soak the ground beneath us. 

   ...I wish Sasha were here. 

   “__________!” Eren’s voice calls from above me. 

   I turn, seeing Eren swinging from a tree branch. A laugh leaves my lips as I see Mikasa’s head pop right next to his. “Are you two having fun?” Mikasa gives me a quick nod as Eren nods much more enthusiastically. “Well, search the tree quickly. You still have to go grab firewood for your mother.”

   “Aw, c’mon,” Eren huffs, “You can’t let us go one day without chores?”

   “Miss Carla is as much of my boss as Mister Grisha. If she says you need to get firewood, you’re getting firewood.”

   Eren sighs and stops swinging on the tree branch, returning to stand on the base. I can hear leaves shaking as they climb further up. A few break off the branches and float down into Armin’s hair. I pluck them out and let the wind take them from between my fingers. Inhaling the wildflower-smelling air, I seriously debate joining Armin in taking a nap. 

   “__________!” Eren screams. 

   My eyes shoot back open and I’m on my feet. “What is it? Eren? Mikasa? Are you hurt?”

   “The Scouts are back!” Eren yells. There’s more tree-branch-shaking. “They’re back! __________, can we go see them?”

   “We- You-” I stop and inhale deeply as my heart continues hammering against my chest. “You scared me!” I snap, arms crossing over my chest. 

   Eren- with twigs and leaves in his hair- appears at the base of the tree again. He jumps off, colliding to the ground with a thud as he lands on his side. Mikasa does the same, landing perfectly. Eren’s back on his feet in seconds, wiping his clothes of the dirt. “Well?” He asks, “Can we?”

   “We haven’t gathered our firewood,” Mikasa points out, pulling the twigs and leaves from his hair. “Your mother told us we needed to gather firewood.”

   “The firewood’s still gonna be here when we get back,” Eren says back, shooting Mikasa a look. “Please, __________? I swear I’ll get everything done.”

   Armin’s up now- woken up by the commotion. He rubs his eyes and sits up. “Eren’s not wrong. The firewood won’t go anywhere,” he mumbles sleepily. 

   Sighing, I roll my eyes. “You’re gonna get everything done?”

   “Yes, I swear.”

   “And you aren’t gonna forget about it?”

   “No.”

   “And you won’t have Mikasa do it for you?”

   “I don’t have Mikasa do everything for me!”

   “...Eren… She does it whether or not you ask.”

   “Fine. I won’t have Mikasa do it for me.”

   “...okay then,” I smile, holding out my hand for Eren and Mikasa to hold. “Let’s go see the Scouts.”

-------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

   I wish I hadn’t said yes to this. As much as I admire them and wish to be them… The Scouts are a mess. Almost everyone is bloodied and each has that look in their eye- the blank stare so wide you can almost see the carnage replaying behind them. There’s bloodied bandages in the street, being pounded into the cobble by the horses. Groans of agony and wailing fill the street. Something deep in my stomach churns as a man with an arm missing holds a bloody Scouts cape in his hands. 

   There were nearly a hundred that left. 

   There can’t be more than twenty that came back.

   I can only wonder if it all is worth it. 

   Of course it is. What am I thinking? Pushing those beasts back, reclaiming the land that humanity used to populate and cultivate… It is worth it but… Damn, if it isn’t a high price to pay. 

   Eren jumps up and down to look over the people’s shoulders. Frustrated, he huffs and takes off further down the street. The rest of us follow. My hand wrapped in Armin’s, I let him lead me behind the crowd. Even as my hat flies away, I can’t take my eyes off the Scouts. 

   We come to a stop and Eren climbs up a stack of boxes. Mikasa and Armin do the same, sitting down beside Eren. I stand on the lowest box to see inside the wagon a pair of horses are pulling. 

   It’s bodies.

   Not dead ones, either. There are soldiers in there- sandwiched together and nearly screaming in pain. Blood coats every inch of the wagon. The bodies in the wagon wail for a medic, for help. 

   I feel myself pushing through the crowd, running for the wagon. “I can help!” I yell, “I can help!”

   A surly soldier turns to me, eyeing me venomously. “Who the hell are you?” 

   “I’m __________ Braus,” I answer, “I work for Doctor Yeager.”

   The soldier scoffs and shakes his head. “They’re going to Wall Maria-”

   “They’ll die before they get there!”

   I can feel the crowd’s eyes on us now. My breathing grows unsteady and rigid as I stare at the soldier. He’s tall- maybe it was his horse or maybe it was actually him but he towers over me either way. A bandage covers the side of his head and I can see blood seeping through. His eyes are a paled-brown and dirt coats his stubbled skin. 

   “What’s the issue here, Weinfeld?” A voice behind me asks. There’s a huff of air that goes down my back. I turn and face a brown stallion. My eyes trail even further to the man sitting on top of it. My blood grows still as I realize who it is.

   “C-Captain Erwin, I-”

   “If this woman wants to help tend our wounded, why are you stopping her?”

   “Well, she-”

   “She offered her services to help prevent us from losing even more soldiers. Let her help.”

   “Y… Yes, sir.”

   “Miss?”

   My eyes snap up to him. Blond hair, blue eyes. Broad shoulders and commanding height. Blood coats his emerald-green cape. I can see the insignia of the Scout Regiment sewn into the chest, even if it is filthy. 

   “Yes, sir?”

   “What do you need to help them?”

   My nerves fade away and I roll my sleeves. “I need more hands. And any medical supplies you can give me. Even shirts, capes- those can work for the time being, too.”

   The Captain nods and I hurry to catch up to the wagon. As it’s moving, I jump onto the back and swing my legs over the side. The smell of flesh and blood is putrid here. The blood has seeped into the wood- making it smell metallic and rotten. Flesh smells like it had been left out for days… I could only imagine that being the truth. 

   “Please, miss,” someone groans, “Please help me.” The chorus of damned souls begins again, even louder now. Bodies shift and turn to face the new ray of hope.

   I reach down, tearing off the layer of silk fabric beneath the mesh. Tying it around my face, running footsteps come up behind us. “Ma’am!” Someone calls, “The Captain said you needed help!”

   “Get in here,” I snap, taking off the moonstone ring around my finger and tucking it into my bra.

   Three men pull themselves into the wagon. One starts to heave as the smell hits his nose. “If you’re going to vomit, do it over the side and get someone else to replace you,” I state, “If you can’t handle the smell, you’re not gonna like what we do next.”

-------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

   “Miss!” The man on the opposite side of the wagon calls, “The blood’s not stopping!”

   “Lift the stump up!” I yell back, “Make sure you keep it elevated.”

   I turn back to the man trembling in my hands. “Okay, what’s your name, soldier?”

   His chapped lips part slowly, a cough passing his lips before his words. “...Louis.”

   “Okay, Louis, you’re gonna be alright but I need to do something that’s not gonna be fun.” Louis nods slowly. “I’m gonna put this in your mouth for you to bite down on. It’s just a piece of fabric.” He nods again, opening his mouth. 

   I look around to the other men. One’s still holding up the bleeding stump of a man’s leg across the wagon, attempting to fashion some sort of holder for it. Another is wrapping bandages around a woman’s arm that dangles at an impossible angle. The last one lays a body down on the wagon floor and stands back up. 

   “You!” I yell, gesturing to the last man and waving him over. “I need you for something.”

   The man walks over the bodies to me, his black hair brushing into his steel eyes. “What is it?” he asks flatly. 

   “You’re going to hold him down by the shoulders while I pour this on his wound.”

   The man doesn’t say anything but positions himself at Louis’ shoulders, pressing down. The bottle in my hands was alcohol- something someone from the crowd offered. Pulling down the silk around my face, I unstopper the bottle with my teeth. Standing with a foot on either side of Louis, I look down at the man at his shoulders. “You ready?”

   The man nods once. 

   I lower myself onto Louis’ legs, peeling back his bloodied shirt. A two bleeding lines run along his stomach. An image of a Titan grows in my mind, reaching out ravenously at Louis. A few centimeters more and he would’ve been caught. They’re deep cuts and they look like they’ve been left exposed for far too long. I shake my head, pressing my weight down against his legs. It’s time. 

   The liquid flows out of the tipped glass, pouring into the crimson grooves in Louis’ skin. Muffled screams pour out of his lips and his legs buck up underneath me. Wincing, I continue pouring. Agonized screams manage to fight through the fabric in his mouth as his whole body spasms.

   I tilt the bottle back upright and force the cork back into it. Louis is still thrashing about, causing blood to gush out of the wound. “Hey, Louis, Louis,” I mumble, leaning forward to look him in the eyes. They’re squeezed shut and his head turns from left to right wildly. “Louis!” I yell, grabbing him by the chin. “If you want to live, you need to hold as still as possible- do you understand me? If you move too much, you’ll lose too much blood and you’ll die. So sit there and stay still.”

   Louis nods frantically, his chest still heaving. Sweat pours down his face and I take my skirt and rip it again. Dabbing the fabric against his forehead, I look up to the man at his shoulders. “You take over,” I state, handing him the piece of fabric. “I’m gonna make something and you’re gonna hold it down on him, okay?”

   The man nods once again. He doesn’t seem comfortable talking. Not that I would either, surrounded by the bleeding half-rotted bodies of my comrades.

   “Good,” I mutter, gripping the fabric that makes up my sleeves. Pulling the fabric one way as I pull my arm the opposite way, the fabric rips and I wad it up. I do the same with my other sleeve and lift Louis’ shirt back up again. I place the fabric against the wounds and look up to the dark-haired man. “Come here- you need to put pressure into this. Don’t let go, okay? Just keep putting pressure.”

   The man nods and I get to my feet to check on everyone else.

-------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

   There’s nothing else I can do with no proper supplies and I’m running out of fabric. My eyes drift down to my dress- or what’s left of it. It hangs around my legs a bloody, shredded mess that barely covers my upper thighs. 

   I can always buy another one. My eyes then turn to the lot of soldiers in the wagon. I can’t exactly replace these Scouts’ lives. 

   My eyes continue drifting until they land on each of the three men that helped me. The man holding the man’s stump- he’s Eld. The other one with the woman- Oluo.

   Eld hands me another soiled Scout cape and I hand him a less-soiled Scout cape. Leaning over the side of the wagon, I wring the cape in my hands. Sickly red liquid slicks down my hands and squelches down onto the passing cobblestone. The color of my skin is no longer visible- drowned out by the endless amounts of blood. 

   “Eld,” I mumble as I wring the cape dry. I’m hoping he can distract me from the cobblestone pavement I’m painting red. 

   “What’s it, __________?”

   “Who’s the other man?” I ask quietly, “The one with Louis?”

   Eld turns to look down the wagon before he laughs. “That’s Levi. Another one of us.”

   “He doesn’t talk much,” Oluo adds, “Don’t take it personally.”

   “I thought maybe it was… because of all this,” I smile crookedly and sit back down in the corner. The wagon tosses and jostles underneath us as we make our way to Wall Maria. “Maybe I’m just projecting. I’m certainly not as talkative as I usually am.”

   “You handled this well… All things considered,” Oluo huffs a laugh, “Ever thought about joining?”

   “You’re recruiting now?” Eld snaps, “Who in their right mind would want to join after seeing this?”

   Oluo shrugs, “Nobody in the Scouts are sane.”

   I clear my throat awkwardly and tuck a piece of hair behind my ear. “Well… if you’re ever back in Shiganshina- I’d be more than happy to sit you down and teach you some medical basics. It could end up saving a life.”

   Eld and Oluo both bow their heads gratefully. My eyes dart to Levi, who still remains keeping pressure on Louis’ wounds. “You’re also welcome to join us, Levi,” I smile. 

   He says nothing but nods once more. It’s better than nothing, I suppose. 

   Maria’s walls tower over us in the sunlight- stone reflecting light down onto us. I get back to my feet, rubbing a hand across my forehead. Almost immediately, I cringe at the feeling of slickness now on my skin. 

   Throwing one leg over the side of the wagon, I prepare myself to jump. “Where are you going?” Eld asks, getting to his feet.

   “You’re almost to Wall Maria and there’s nothing else I can really do without supplies and equipment. All you three need to do is make sure that stump is elevated, pressure stays held on Louis and that you three get back to me in Shiganshina for those drinks.”

   “Why can’t you stay?” Oluo asks, gesturing to the bodies around him. “If something goes wrong-”

   “If something goes wrong, I’m sure the rest of your regiment have doctors waiting on the other side of Maria. ‘sides, I left my kids back there. There’s no telling what they’re up to without me.”

   “You have kid-”

   Something cracks against the pale-blue sky. Yellow and green lightning pierce the tranquility, striking down just beyond Wall Maria. It disappears as fast as it came- leaving only a trail of white smoke in the sky.   “What was that?” I mumble, stepping back into the wagon. “Was that lightning…?”

   Eld and Oluo are on their feet now, staring at the sky. I can see their hands gripping their ODM controllers. Eyes wide, mouths slightly open we stare at the Wall. My breath is caught deep in my throat as we wait. As we watch.

   The wind kicks up. The former sweetness of wildflowers in the air is now nauseatingly saccharine. It elbows the steam out of the way- and then we see it.

   A hand. On the wall. 

   Stone crumbles beneath the muscle. Paradoxically slowly and quickly, a skinless head lifts up behind the wall. 

   …that’s impossible. 

   I want to believe it’s impossible, believe it’s just a facade but as I’m staring and as I hear Eld and Oluo whispering, I know. 

   There’s a Titan towering over Wall Maria.

   I waste no more time. Throwing my leg over the wagon again, I jump. Eld is the first to react, screaming at me to get back on the wagon. 

   “My kids! My family!” I scream back, sprinting towards town. “I can’t leave them!”

  And I keep running. Elbows and bodies are thrown into my chest. I keep running. Eren. Mikasa. Armin. Carla. Even Tobias. Massive chunks of stone collide beside me and that’s when I know the wall has been torn through. 

   And I keep running. Blood in my ears, blood on my face, blood on my hands- it all seems to burn and throb. Colors blur together in the edges of my vision. All I need to focus on is getting to them.

   I can hear the screams and the cries and the wailing and the bones snapping. And I keep running. I don’t have time to look. 

   There is blood everywhere. I can smell it. 

   My eyes catch him- a black-haired boy running straight into the crowd and towards the wall. A girl runs after him. Another boy, with blond hair, stands rigid in his spot. 

   Their names rip out of my body. “Eren! Mikasa! Armin!”

   Over and over again, they shred my lungs as I push towards them. My arms wrap around Armin and I spin him around to face me. My eyes dart between his, brushing hair from his face.

   “Armin, where are they going?”

   There is no response. Just a blank stare.

   “Armin! Where are they going!” I’m screaming now, shaking him at his shoulders. 

   “...home.”

   A shaky breath leaves my lips. “You need to run, Armin,” I mutter, turning him towards Wall Maria. “Do you hear me? You run for that wall and you don’t look back.”

   Armin nods slowly and I keep running.

   I round the last corner and I freeze. A chunk of the wall sits atop the ruins of the Yaeger home. Dust clouds billow about and I can hear three voices screaming amongst themselves.

   My feet carry me there. “Carla! Mikasa! Eren! Grisha!”

   “__________!” Carla yells back as I stumble to a stop just before the remains of the house. 

   My eyes land on her- pinned down underneath a wooden beam and dirt painting her face. Her eyes are wide, staring up at me. I hear the wood groan and shiver. Eren and Mikasa strain as they try lifting the wood up. 

   “Help us!” Eren snaps at me. 

   I reach for the beam, fingernails digging into the wood as we all lift it up. It doesn’t budge. Once more, Mikasa and Eren and I plant our feet on the cobblestone and lift. 

   ...it’s no use.

   Even if we get this thing off her, Carla’s legs are crushed. We wouldn’t make it out. 

   “__________!” Carla’s yelling my name over and over. Her hand is gripping my leg, nails digging into my skin. “You have to listen to me- you have to leave me behind and take them! You have to survive- you have to leave me!"

   “No!” Eren screams, trying to lift the beam up again. “I’m not leaving you!”

   “Can’t you just listen to me for once in your life?!” Carla screams back, tears trailing down her face. “This is the last thing I’m asking you to do-!”

   Something looms in the distance. Stomps quake the ground underfoot- and they’re getting closer. A face slowly passes the remains of the town hall. Grotesque and smiling, the Titan’s face turns towards us. 

   “Carla,” I whisper, tears now streaming down my face. “I… I can’t leave…” I mutter, shaking my head as I lean down to lift the beam again. My whole body strains, screaming for relief, as I try to pry the beam off of her.

   “Hannes!”

   Looking over my shoulder, I watch as Hannes lands just in front of us. “Take the kids and get out of here!” Carla screams. 

   Hannes kneels and smiles. “That’s not our only option, Carla. I’m gonna kill that Titan and save all of you!” His arms come out in a flourish, brandishing his blades. He runs around the corner of the house for the Titan. A war cry leaves his lips and-

   He skids to a stop. His eyes trail up the height of the Titan. Even from this distance, I can see him tremble. He turns back, pushing his blades back into their holsters. 

   And he grabs Eren, tossing him over his shoulder. He tucks Mikasa’s body under his arm and he runs a few steps before stopping again. Turning to me, he screams, “Let’s go before it kills us all!”

   My eyes flick back down to Carla. Her black hair is stuck to her face. Sweat and tears and spit slick down her skin as she looks up at me with watering eyes. “Take care of them for me,” she whispers. “My daughter, please take care of them for me. You all have to survive- for me.”

   And I run.

-------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

   “__________!” 

   My name buzzes around my ears but Eren, Mikasa, Hannes- they aren’t calling me.

   “__________!” 

   I turn around, searching for the voice as I continue running behind Hannes. My eyes dart to each movement. A woman clutching the remains of a man to her body. A child crying. A man being lifted into the sky. Another man running straight towards me, carrying a briefcase. 

   “Tobias!” I yell. Hannes stops in his tracks, whirling around to face me. Tobias stumbles to a stop. Panting, he wipes his brow with his forearm.

   “I need to tell you something,” he wheezes, shoving the briefcase into my hands. “In case I don’t get to, it’s all in here. Everything is in here.”

   “Tobias, what are you talking about?”

   His eyes are darting everywhere- from my face to Hannes and the kids to my dress and hands. “I haven’t been honest with you,” he says quickly, taking me by the shoulders. “I’ve kept so much from you that you should know about-”

   “Just tell me!” I snap, searching his eyes. 

   Tobias sighs and nods quickly, “But only if we have some shelter.” His hand slips down my arm, taking my hand and pulling me towards a watchtower. Hannes and the kids follow behind us. 

   “__________,” Tobias states, turning to face me again and gripping my shoulders. “You have to understand- I didn’t know what else I could do. I just wanted what I wanted and I-”

   There’s a terrible crash above us. I can feel myself being pushed back and colliding with the cobblestone. Mikasa calls out to me- cut short by the ringing in my ears. 

   Hannes appears above me, waving a hand in my face and shouting something. It’s all so… far-away. Distant. Blinking, I try to focus on the shifting mimics of Hannes before they all merge together. 

   Searing pain runs up and down my legs as I feel myself being dragged backwards. I look down and see the pile of bricks, splintered wood, and stone that was once the watchtower. And a single arm underneath it all, covered in a suit’s sleeve. 

   My eyes widen and my arms bring the briefcase to my chest tighter. “...is that…?”

   Hannes nods, picking me up under my arms and setting me back on my feet. “I’m sorry but we have to go,” he mumbles. “We have to get them out of here.”

   Tears start to pour from my eyes as I stare at the bloody hand reaching out from under the debris. ...he saved me instead of saving himself.

-------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

   “Please, sir, I can’t leave it behind-”

   “I’m already allowing you three on before anyone else,” the soldier snarls, “I’m not letting you break any more rules.”

   Hannes sighs, scratching the back of his neck. My nail taps against the leather briefcase as I watch Eren and Mikasa blankly stare into the water below. “Take them,” I blurt. “I’ll stay.”

   The kids turn around to face me, eyes wide with horror. Tears stream down Eren's face as his fist tightens at his side. “No! I’m not losing you, too!”

   “Don’t go,” Mikasa whispers, eyes pleading.

   I kneel down, putting the briefcase down next to me. Gently, I place a hand on their faces and rub my thumb against their skin. “I will find you,” I whisper, “You have to trust me. I will find you. You stay where you are until I find you, okay?”

   Mikasa nods once but I can feel her lean into my touch. Eren has my wrist, gripping it tightly. “Please, __________,” he pleads through gritted teeth, “Please don’t go.”

   I press my lips to his forehead and whisper against his skin. “I will find you, Eren.”

   Pulling away, I press my lips to Mikasa’s forehead. I stand and pick up the briefcase. “They’re ready now,” I whisper, forcing the mass of tears in my throat down. “Please take them.”

   The soldier takes Mikasa’s hand and reaches for Eren. Eren elbows past him, charging for me. Screaming, he flails about as the soldier throws him over his shoulder and walks up the gangplank. “__________!” He screams. “You can’t leave me! I can’t lose you, too! Please!” 

   I bite down on my tongue. Tears stream down my face as I watch them get set down on the ferry. Mikasa holds onto Eren’s arm as he thrashes in her grip. The soldier runs back down and yells for the ferry to take off. 

   Hannes places a hand on my shoulder. I shake violently, sobbing now as the ferry pulls away. Eren finally breaks free and runs to the edge but it’s too late. 

   I clamp a hand over my mouth, preventing the agonized screams from resounding around the ferry station. I can see Mikasa coming up behind Eren. Someone else pushes towards them.

   Armin. 

   He made it. They all made it. They’re safe. My kids are safe.

   Hannes clears his throat behind me. I turn and push my face into his chest, sobbing and clutching at his bloodied uniform. “They made it, Hannes,” I say in strangled sobs. “They’re okay.”

   I can feel him press my head further into his chest. “And you’re next.”

-------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

   “You can’t close the gate!” I scream, clutching the briefcase to my chest. “There are people out there! Just wait-!”

   “If we don’t close it now, the handful of lives out there will be nothing compared to how many we’ll lose in here!” The soldier snaps. 

   Hannes growls, lunging forward and grabbing the soldier by the collar. “That’s no reason to leave these people to die!” 

   Footsteps run up behind me. Two men, more soldiers, arrive in the doorway. Panting, one points outside, “They’re coming! You have to close the gate, now!” 

   “Lower the gate at once!” 

   “No!” I run forward and feel arms wrap around me, holding me back. One of the soldiers hurries and grabs Hannes, pulling him off the soldier. My body thrashes in its hold, “You can’t do this! You’re going to kill them all-!”

   The walls begin to shake around us intermittently- heavy footsteps. They begin to pick up speed, thundering around us. Getting closer and closer, I can feel it in my head, in my heart- the hammering, the footsteps. 

   It all happens much slower than it did. Hannes wrestles out of the soldier’s grip and grabs my waist. The Titan collides with the wall, sending us into the air amongst the brick and stone of the gate. I can feel us being jerked a different way in the sky- the sound whirring and hissing of air surrounding us. 

   My arms around his neck, I peek over Hannes’ shoulder. A gaping hole is in the wall where the gate used to be. A Titan with patches of dense armor stands at the hole, breathing deeply. 

   “__________,” Hannes says as we land on the side of a building. “I’m taking you to Wall Rose. Wall Maria is gone. It’s over.”

-------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

   The candlelight flickers in the wind, taunting death before regaining strength. My fingers run along the blood-splattered leather. The gold trim slides under my fingertips. I can feel my stomach churn as I press the buttons in. 

   What was so secret he kept it from me for so long?

   The briefcase flies open. Inside is a mess of paper- most pages are typed but some are handwritten. I can clearly see Tobias’ neat, small handwriting on the pages. I scoot closer to the candle, taking a sheet of paper and reading it in the light. 

   __________,

     I am writing this knowing in almost-full confidence that I am no longer alive and I died before I had the chance to explain myself. I hope you don’t think of me as less of a person after this but if you do, I cannot say that I blame you.

   My name is not Tobias Walker. I was born Fynn Kayserling in Dauper.

   I stop, rereading that sentence over and over again. Dauper was my village. Tobias- Fynn was from… my village? 

   You don’t remember that name at all, I’m sure. I wasn’t very outgoing and the walls suited me as better friends than other students. But there was one girl that stood out. It was you. You were kind and gentle- but would never stand down from a fight. It was amazing, watch you grow up. An ever-changing fluctuation of fight and flow.

   I was too much of a coward to be up-front with you. Watching others court you and how happily you responded to them, I knew I wasn’t good enough. I left at seventeen to Shiganshina and started my business.

   I returned a year later and found that you, that your family had been suffering. Your mother being weak and your father being ill while you and your sister were starving- I wanted to just give you the money. An anonymous donation. But there was another, more selfish part of me that wanted something in return.

   I tried to fight it. It was so twisted even I was disgusted by myself. But my cowardice, my weakness, my greed got the better of me and I made that offer to you. It wasn’t fair of me to and I wish I would have changed my mind- so I did this.

   Assuming I’m dead, inside this briefcase you will find my will. I’ll spare you from reading the legal nonsense. I’ve given you everything. The factory, the houses, the money, the land. It’s all yours to do what you will. There’s more than enough to pay off your debts and to build your family a better home.

   There was a reason I never told you what the plans for the wedding were. There was never going to be a wedding. I was going to give you the money and the land and tell you how I feel before letting you choose your path. It was selfish of me to take you away for two years. I couldn’t live with taking you away for much more.

   I hope you can forgive me, __________. I was selfish and cruel and I know it wasn’t love. Something more sinister- not love. I tried to be better, I hope you know.

    Yours always,

       Fynn

   I blankly stare at the letter, so many thoughts buzzing through my head that I feel dizzy. My eyes dart to the typed papers. ‘Final Will and Testament of Fynn Kayserling’ is typed on the first page. 

   He… he lived in Dauper and he was a classmate. He knew me. My stomach churns at the words ‘wanted something in return’. My eyes turn to the open window, to the stars above. Tears stream unyieldingly d0wn my face as I take a deep breath in. As I exhale, the wind takes my breath into an icy grip and turns it white. 

   I need to find them. Before anything else, I need to find Armin and Mikasa and Eren. And when I do, I’ll make sure they’re taken care of and then I’ll take care of my family. 

   I’ll never forgive him but... tomorrow. 

   The search starts tomorrow.

---------

You can read parts two, three, and four! Just tap on the number you want :) 

[spacedikut]

pumpkin party ; spencer reid

pairing: spencer reid (criminal minds) x short f!reader

summary:  “hi can i request a spencer x f!reader who’s like short (like 5 ft tall short hehe) w curly hair and uh they do like cute fall stuff together like pumpkin picking and halloween and baking and leaves and stuff ??? sorry if that isn’t specific enough i love ur writing ur amazing okay gn” 1502 words

a/n: here’s a kinda short terrible thing about pumpkin picking and carving w spencer because honestly nothing sounds better 

masterlist

As sweet as the gesture is, you can’t help but stare incredulously at Spencer when he offers you his coat.

“Are you…serious?” You ask, eyebrow raised.

“Of course. Only for a few minutes, until you warm up a little. Actually, men are colder than women; temperature responds to changing hormone levels, so women’s body temperatures vary depending on the phase of their menstrual cycle.”

“Please don’t talk about my menstrual cycle when we’re at a pumpkin patch.”

“Right. Sorry.” He giggles, “But a man’s body temperature is often hotter near his-“

“Don’t! There are children!” You hiss, but can’t resist laughing along. You two are the only adults at the pumpkin patch without little ones running around, but neither of you seem to mind.

“Here,” He says again, “Take it.”

“Spence,” You sigh, “That jacket is gonna basically be on the floor if I put it on. I don’t want to ruin it.”

“How is-“ He starts, confused, before he realises you’re referencing your stark height different, “Oh. Yeah. Then I can’t help you.”

You should’ve known it was bound to get chilly at the nearest farm.  Spencer asked if you were sure you didn’t want to bring a jacket, and you said of course, and now look at you. You’re surprised he hasn’t said, “Told you so!” yet.

“I did say-“

There it is.

You tug on his hand, interlocking your fingers as you start walking, “Let’s just pick our pumpkins and get out of here. I’m too excited about our new carving tools to wait.”

He happily follows along, both of you commenting on pumpkins and their appearances as you walk around – who knew Spencer could be so judgemental? – before one of you finds one you deem good enough.

You find yours first - ugly, slightly deformed, but that’s how you like them. It’s shaped more like a typical squash, elongated and thicker at the bottom, slimmer at the top. You love it.

Spencer usually likes the ugly pumpkins, too, so you’re surprised when he picks a near-perfect one from the bunch.

“I need another one.” He mumbles, set on his mission. He wanders around a little more, perfectly round bright orange pumpkin in hand, eyes dancing around the patch. “Another one…”

You tenderly grasp your squash-like pumpkin and wait patiently, watching him roll the second pumpkin he likes up his leg, to his hip, so he can heave it into his arms.

He only looks like he’s struggling a little.

“I can take one, if you want,” You offer, but he vigorously shakes his head.

“I got it, I got it.”

You watch him wobble towards you, clearly suffering with the weight in his hands, and can’t help but offer again. “Let me, Spence,”

He beams at you excitedly, “Love, really, I’m okay. Let’s go.”

He waddles by and you follow him to the front, keeping a close eye on him because you’re concerned he’ll drop to his knees. “We both know I got the muscle and you got the height.”

“I’m a very strong man. I can handle two pumpkins.”

You decide not to argue back, even when he lets out an obscene groan as he loudly dumps the pumpkins onto the cash register.

Not even when you hear him whisper an encouraging, “I’m a very strong man.” To himself before heaving the pumpkins back into his arms.

Or when he falls asleep in the car ride home.

+++

The tradition you and Spencer have, even before you started dating, is you wouldn’t tell eachother your ideas until the big reveal after carving. Spencer holds this tradition very dear to his heart, so when you start questioning him about his plans that involve two pumpkins, he is rightly offended.

“Why can’t you just tell me?” You laugh, lightly nudging his side as he lays all the tools out onto the table.

“Because!” His lips quirk up, stifling a chuckle, “You know, over one-point-five billion pounds of pumpkin are produced each year in the U.S.”

“Actually, I have a pumpkin fact for you.”

You’re grinning at him, a blinding smile that makes Spencer feel mushy inside. You look genuinely enthused, pure eagerness on your face as you bounce on your toes when you tell him that, for once, you have a fact for him.

He knows it won’t be new information to him, but he loves you so he’ll listen and pretend it’s his first time hearing it.

He loves you.

Holy hell, does he love you.

“Did you know…” You trail off, all dramatic and suspenseful and making Spencer go heart eyed, “The original jack-o’-lanterns were made with turnips and potatoes by the Irish.”

Yes. He does know that.

He raises an eyebrow.

“So you’re making a jack-o’-lantern?”

You guffaw. How did he-

“My guess is you were looking for pumpkin carving ideas, probably on Pinterest, and ended up looking at jack-o’-lantern ideas and stumbled upon some facts.”

Smugly, he hands you a carving tool while you stare at him, mouth agape.

“I’m taking that as a yes.”

“You suck.”

Quietly, he says, “You love me.”

And as you both get to work, you can’t help but think yes, I do.

+++

Spencer works at record-breaking speed. His first is done (and harshly discarded, you note) within thirty minutes, then he moves eagerly onto the next.

Even though the element of surprise is ruined, you work meticulously – you won’t let your literal hours of research (and practice doodles in your notebook) go to waste. Your tongue peeks out of your mouth, brows tensing and easing sporadically. Your whole apartment stinks of pumpkin, the innards of them building quite the mountain between you and Spencer.

Good thing you like the smell of it, you suppose.

“You nearly done?” Spencer asks, stretching after over an hour of being hunched over the table.

You purse your lips, “Yeah, I think so. What about you?”

He bites his lip when your attention is directed to him. There’s an anxiousness to him, beyond his normal jitters, and you wonder what he’s done. Will you have to have a serious conversation after this? Is he breaking up with you? Is he dumping you through a goddamn pumpkin?

“You go first.” He tells you.

“I assume I don’t have a choice?”

“Nope. Show me the jack-o’-lantern!”

You playfully groan, dejectedly spinning the pumpkin until it faces Spencer. He reacts with excitement, a pleased grin on his face as his eyes momentarily widen and his eyebrows shoot up. It’s a cute reaction. He’s cute.

“That’s incredible, Y/N!” He says, leaning in to look closer at the cuts and design. “We have to put it outside.”

“You think so?” You bashfully fiddle with the stalk at the top.

“Yeah! It’ll match mine!”

Spencer spins his first pumpkin, then, and it’s another jack-o’-lantern like yours but a different facial expression. You love it, reacting in a similar way to how Spencer did to yours – joy on your face as you exclaim a, “Whoa!” when you look at it.

“I think we’re spending too much time together,” Spencer jokes, “I was planning to do a jack-o’-lantern, too.”

“Great minds think alike.” You smile, and his heart flutters. “Now, the other one! Is it another-“

You move to turn the second pumpkin yourself, but Spencer’s hands stop you.

“Wait-“ He calls, removing your hands from his work. You look at him in confusion. “If you hate it, let’s just pretend it never happened, okay?”

“What?”

“Just- okay?”

You nod. After a deep breath, Spencer turns his second pumpkin until it’s directly in front of you. He gives you some seconds to take it in, read what’s written on it and process.

You take too long to process and Spencer starts panicking.

“Like I said-“

“Do you mean it?” You look at him, and there’s tears in your eyes, “Really?”

You look back to the pumpkin with ‘I ♡ U’ carved messily in it. Somehow, though just two letters and one symbol, you can tell it’s distinctly Spencer’s scrawny writing and it’s perfect.

It’s the first time he’s ever said he loves you. And it’s kind of weird, to do it through a pumpkin, but it’s so Spencer and God you love him too.

“Yeah,” He says, quietly, “Yeah, I do. I love you, Y/N.”

You jump out of your chair, straight into his lap, his arms immediately wrapping tightly around your waist. Your hands find themselves in his hair, tugging his lips to yours and kissing him with reckless abandon.

He giggles happily against your lips. It’s the best feeling in the world.

When you pull back, his hands flex on your thighs as you beam at eachother. Everything feels perfect.

“I love you too, you know,” You whisper, blushing.

He brings you in again, pressing feverish kisses on your lips, repeating the same sentence over and over, I love you I love you I love you I love you.

You repeat it back every time. And you always will.

[silentprincess17]

A Proposal Gone Awry

Part 1 | Part 2 | Part 3 | Part 4 | AO3 

Summary: Link has been touring the breadth and width of Hyrule to clear out the remaining monster camps, and soon enough, he reaches Zora’s Domain. Mipha asks him to wait before he heads back to the castle, which he was intending on doing... but some mischievous children may have other plans. 

Part 2: 

Mipha thanked Lord Jabu Jabu and Lady Hylia that she had managed to send Link away, as she slowly set about healing all the various Zora Captains that had been injured. Healing was a calming art and she needed to remain in the correct headspace for it. It wasn’t something that could be rushed. And really, seeing that she mostly thought of Link whilst she was healing, well, that helped make the time pass by pleasantly anyway. As he reassured the guards and soothed them with her Grace, she let her thoughts wander, and a smile crossed her face as her thoughts inevitably turned to Link.

He was too pure-hearted and had remained by her side; only after she conjured up some excuse for him to leave and insisted on it, did he actually depart. Perhaps she was reading too much into it but that was a good sign, right? Despite her wishes to stay with him whilst he was at the Domain, she needed time to prepare. She knew this was one of the last occasions he’d come back to here for a while at least and she didn’t want to impose on him – she knew he was busy with all his quests to end the influence the Calamity had over Hyrule and she didn’t want to detract him from that goal.

It was admirable, truly, his dedication to duty. It was part of what made him so appealing to her after all, his steadfastness and perseverance… he would make such a good King of the Zora’s when the time came. And to top it all, he wasn’t just a kind, generous man, but she could freely admit to herself that he was incredibly handsome too. She’d grown to be fond of him when she had first met him, all the way back when he was but a reckless child, spending the summer in the Domain, where she’d healed him every single time he’d had a fall. And seeing him all grown up when he’d escorted the Princess to ask for her father’s permission in naming her a Champion had made her re-evaluate the fondness she had for him then, with the new feelings of affection and love she had now. And those feelings only grew after he helped her protect her home. Oh, to think of how they could rule alongside each other…

Since then, she tried to show him her feelings. She’d attempted to walk with him more often than not when all the Champions went on quests together, such as when she’d accompanied him in the Lost Woods. Though, sadly, they never had much of an opportunity to talk. He was always focussed on what might happen next, or how to protect Princess Zelda, which she understood. She truly felt for the Princess- if it wasn’t the Yiga, then it was corrupt Guardians, and if not those then it was chunks of ceilings… And Link was the Princess’s Appointed Knight after all. Although she’d be lying if she didn’t feel just a twinge of jealousy, because she couldn’t help but imagine what it would be like if Link was touching her. Of course, Link was a respectable, honourable man through and through, so all his touches were all for the sake of protection… at least, that was what she told herself, but she’d do anything for him to do the same for her. It wasn’t fair though, Mipha knew that, at least she hadn’t been at risk of severe injury like Princess Zelda had throughout their quest together.

Mipha understood that in the grand scheme of things, her feelings for Link were not an immediate focus. So, she held back and reined them in. But now, after having fought with him multiple times today to remove the last of the monsters, she couldn’t stop the surge of affection that swam through her.

She wanted to give him her White Scale. She wanted to promise to protect him, not just through her Grace, but through her own being too.

So that is why she needed time to prepare. She hadn’t been expecting Link to come today- she’d assumed he’d come at the end of all travels. That way, they could spend some time together, but she guessed he was busy or otherwise forgot. Or maybe the castle had ordered him to come here today, and to be fair, the monsters had mounted a last-minute attack of sorts, so it was a good thing he had helped them out. But that meant she still had a few things to pack, namely she needed to collect the Blue Nightshades. She wanted to lay them on top of her armour as they glowed beautifully in the dark. Plus, the colour scheme would match with the navy shade she’d gone for so that her White Scale stood out all the more. Oh, and she needed to polish all her silver to make sure it was pristine- she couldn’t forget that!

Mipha had just about finished polishing the last segment of her armour in the garrison on top of the mountain, and she was armed with her Blue Nightshades. She’d paid special attention to the new clasp she had recently added after removing her white scale. It was a weak point in her scales, so it needed extra protection. The scale would grow back soon enough, but for now, she would make do.

All she had left to do was collect her Zora Armour and then… give it to Link. Her heart rate spiked, and she almost sat down again, dear Goddesses, she was ridiculously nervous. She prayed to the previous Zora Princess who’d proposed to the Hero of her time that she would have the courage to see it through and… that he would accept. Mipha’s intentions were to propose marriage, yes, but she didn’t want this to happen immediately. She wanted to present her armour to him as a dedication of her love, as proof, of how firm her feelings were. Essentially, she wanted him to know she was serious about this… and she could only hope he’d feel the same.

She climbed down the mountain, choosing to walk instead of use the waterfalls like she normally would. She didn’t want to be dripping wet when she talked to him after all, and she wanted her armour to shine, not glisten. No, she wasn’t just walking because it would take longer and therefore delay her actual confession.

As she reached Mikau Lake, with the bridge connecting to the Domain just up ahead, she spotted water splashing all the way along the waterfall. In and of itself this wouldn’t have been an unusual occurrence, especially considering the recent attacks on the Domain meant that the Zora Guards frequently used the waterfalls for ease of access…

But she would recognise that crop of blonde hair anywhere and she just couldn’t believe what she was seeing. As she scrutinised the scene before her more closely, she recognised Sidon. It still threw her off slightly, imagining how Sidon will look when he would grow to adulthood, but for now she had more pressing concerns. How was Sidon even swimming up the waterfall? He didn’t have the right scales yet. And wait, now she was closer she realised he was actually strapped onto Link’s back. What? Her eyes hadn’t been deceiving her. But how-

She had too many questions, so she connected to the water reserves under the Domain and swam through so that she reached the lake quicker. As she zoomed in, she realised that Link, in fact, had multiple Zora children strapped to him, and they were all squealing as he swam up the waterfall. She could just about make out the glint of silver from his Soldier’s Greaves, which left her even more confused.

HOW?! Mipha wasn’t one to shout, she always remained calm, cool and collected, she was blessed with Grace after all, and it wasn’t graceful to yell, but she just couldn’t comprehend what was going on and she found herself screaming inside.

She reached the bottom of the waterfall, just as Link reached the top, and he pulled out his paraglider, all the children screamed with delight. She could hear Bazz from this distance, “MOMMY!!!”. And the rest of them were laughing at him. She watched, with increasing incredulity as Link leisurely paraglided down, landing with a smile. And she got her first proper look at what, exactly, he was wearing.

Mipha thought she might faint. Or vomit. Or cry.

He was wearing her armour.

All that preparation…

The flowers fell from her suddenly weak fins.

He was actually wearing it. His hair was slicked back to the right, soaking wet from all the swimming, and he looked devastatingly handsome. She couldn’t help but admire how perfectly the armour moulded to his form and how beautiful he looked. He looked like a King. Her King.

Link finally seemed to realise she was there. His face morphed from its previously calm, relaxed and happy demeanour, into an aptly horrified one. All the children stopped squabbling over each other too, as they stared at her.

She stared back, incredulous.

Link couldn’t have known the significance of the armour he was wearing. The children must have set him up for this. They had been begging everyone around the Domain to bring them to the waterfalls, but all the adults had refused, simply because the risk of monsters wasn’t worth it. Of course, Link being Link would not refuse them anything, especially as they were his childhood friends.

A heavy silence descended on them. Mipha just didn’t know what to do. How was she meant to confess now? They’d ruined it. He had the armour already. What could she even say?

He unstrapped Sidon from the right-side of his back, Gaddison from the left, Bazz from his right shoulder and arm, and Rivan from his left. He placed them down gently.

And then he pulled off the armour.

Mipha nearly had a heart attack.

All that water cascaded down his front, and she stopped breathing.

He meekly came up to her and pressed the sodden armour back into her hands, wincing as it squelched. “I’m sorry.” She felt her heart restart. Link had spoken to her! And then he stepped back, and all she wanted to do was move closer, and press his lips to hers. To spread her fins over his muscles. To feel the water dripping down him. To –

She shook her head. “Will someone explain what is going on?” Her voice embarrassingly lilted at the start. Was it her fault though, if she lost some composure in front of such a view?

Rivan and Gaddision shoved Bazz forward. He turned back at them and made an obscene fin gesture. Where had he learnt that?! She would have to discipline him later.

“We’re all sorry Mipha. We wanted to ride the waterfall. And-and we knew Kodah had made a Hylian Zora Armour, but we wouldn’t be able to find it in time before Link had to go and Sidon knew where you kept yours so-so it was easier, and it just happened to fit, so we went with it and Rivan said that you were the sweetest so you wouldn’t mind and Gaddison said we were only going to use it once and then give it back and it was only meant to be borrowed and either way it didn’t matter because your White Scale regrows so that means you can have more than one engagement and-”

She had to stop him, “Bazz. This Armour is precious- we do not just make them for no good reason. And you know that borrowing something without permission is wrong? It becomes stealing then? And what is this about having more than one engagement?”

Link paled. Considerably. She wanted to reassure him it wasn’t his fault. To her surprise he spoke again, in a quiet soothing tenor that she already loved and knew she would spend hours replaying in her own mind, “Mipha, I- I didn’t understand how much the armour meant to you. I-”

He bent his head down, “I knew it was wrong, but I didn’t stop them, it’s my fault. I didn’t see the harm in playing with them for a while, because I thought it was just one of many gifts you’d give and Kodah had one too, so I assumed it was a common thing- like you practice on Hylians because we’re smaller and then craft a full-sized one for the Zora, but it was very insensitive of me. I’m sorry for wearing armour that-that only your husband should.”

Mipha was stunned. That was the most he’d ever spoken to her. Even the children were looking at him in shock. And she felt her heart shatter. He didn’t- he didn’t feel the same way. He thought this was a practice run. He thought the armour made for Hylians didn’t count because they weren’t Zora and Zora would only marry other Zorans. That meant he didn’t think they could ever be together. What was she supposed to say now? She couldn’t help but realise the irony of this situation- she used to dream of Link talking to her, and now that he was, she was the one that didn’t know what to say.

She’d try again later. That was the only solution to this. She wasn’t about to propose and confess in front of all the children. It should be a special occasion and she would make sure that he had no uncertainties about where her feelings lay. She simply smiled, “It’s okay. I’ll see you at the castle next week for the Celebratory Ball, Link?” She saw him nod, and then she turned and left. She couldn’t bear looking at him right now. Not when the evening had turned out so differently to what she envisioned.

No matter. She would have to explain everything properly on the night of the ball. She just couldn’t process everything right now, and she needed some time to mull over what he had said. That, and she needed to do a little investigation into who, exactly, Kodah had made armour for. She had her suspicions and if she was correct, she would have to ascertain if Kodah was actually being serious or not. Lady Hylia knew that girl had her head stuck in the sand under the sea.

Next (Part 3)

[emmettsleftnut]

The Cullens learn about Bella’s Childhood.

Bella and Edward are sitting on a couch in the lounge of the Cullen house, still getting to know each other ((Imagine chapter 14 of Midnight Sun)) The other Cullens are sitting in the next room, not entirely listening in, but due to enhanced senses are in easy hearing distance. Bella is lying in Edwards’ lap with her legs across the couch, her back against his chest. He is sitting against the side of the couch, his legs either side of Bella’s, with another round of 20 questions.

“Tell me about your first date.” I said. Surely she had been on plenty of dates before, even if she got half the attention she gets here. “Hah! never been on one” She replied, obvious conquest in her voice. It sounded like she thought she had won something.

“Surely you’re joking Bella, you get more attention than any other female in this town, you can’t expect me to believe-” “Except for Rosalie!” I chuckled, and I’m sure I heard Emmet and Jasper laugh quietly from the next room “Sure, except for Rosalie.” I paused, waiting for her to go on. “Yeah, no dates for me. What can I say, forks is a once off.” I didn’t believe that for a moment, surely if the boys here found her so insanely captivating, the boys from Phoenix couldn’t be so different that they would show no interest whatsoever. “Turn the qualifications for a ‘date’ at the lowest possible setting, still no?” I questioned, surely this would get some sort of answer from her “Still a no cowboy, I’m a fresh slate when it comes to the dating world.” You and me both, i thought. Suddenly Alice’s thoughts from the next room caught my attention ‘Did she seriously just call him cowboy?” I chuckled to myself, I’ll never get used to the colloquial language this generation uses, no matter how much time I spend with them. 

“I just never had time y’know,” she continued “I always had so much to do I never had enough free time to think about it, even if i really wanted to.” Free time, I never really thought about that idea. When I think of Bella, I think of books. Does she not include reading as free time because reading is technically a task? Or was there something that occupied enough time that she could barely have time to read, something she loved so much. “When you say you didn’t have any free time, what do you mean by that? Don’t tell me you spent so much time reading you never met anyone new?” She chuckled, I didn’t think what I had said was funny, but her reaction still put a smile on my face.

“No no, nothing like that, I’m not so much of a hermit that I spend all my time indoors you know.” I took a turn to chuckle this time, but before I could press for further information, she gave it to me without prompt “running a house is hard work you know, it doesn’t leave you with much time to spare.” I stiffened, running a house? What did she mean by that? Was it another expression I was too uninformed to understand, or did she mean it literally. Suddenly i heard all of the conversation in the next room go silent, not that it was loud enough for a human to hear before so I’m positive Bella would not have noticed, but what was odd to me was that thoughts seemed quiet as well, as if everyone in the next room had suddenly taken interest in something. It didn’t take me long to figure out that what they were suddenly interested in was our conversation. 

I suddenly heard Emmet say ‘What? What are you all listening to?’ He was interrupted with shushing and the room once again went silent, how bizarre. “Edward?” Bella interrupted my brooding “Is.. everything ok?” she seemed cautious “Yes everything is fine, I was just processing what you said. What did you mean by running a house” She paused to think about that for a moment, I found myself holding in a non existent breath. 

“Well,” she started “My mother wasn’t much of a homebody. I’ve told you that she was adventurous and would always rather be outdoors than inside, always on some escapade of some sort. Regardless, someone had to tend to the home, that someone was me.” I pondered that for a moment, although not for long as she soon started again “I can’t remember exactly when it started, around when I was four I think, maybe five? I learned quickly though, cleaning was always easy, Renee said that she was allergic to dust, and that the detergent from the dishes hurt her skin so I would always end up cleaning the place. Just paper towels and cleaning solution y’know? Vacuuming, washing dishes, meal prep, doing laundry and the like, nothing crazily difficult, all kids did that sort of thing, y’know?”

Did normal children do things like that? From my knowledge, which I’ll admit is limited in the subject, most human children were just expected to pick up after themselves and not much else, how much could a child truly do. “Go on” I encouraged, she seemed reluctant, maybe I was too tense? I loosened my posture and this seemed to calm her slightly.

“As I got older I was able to do much more, by six I was able to cook full meals” she chuckled without humour “My mother wasn’t home much, or if she was, she was planning her next adventure. I had to talk her down from a lot of them, skydiving and cliff jumping with flying suits, she’s terrified of heights but only I seemed to remember that.” She pondered for a moment, thinking, I decided. “I was told that I had more capabilities than most college students, although I’m not sure if that’s true. I did taxes, budgeting, paid bills, cooked each day, cleaned the house when I came home from school, and did any school stuff I had to do after that, so yeah, limited free time.” 

I was taken aback by this, ‘so yeah’ she had said as if it was no big feat that she was doing all of this. “You make it sound like she was never around, like you lived on your own or something?” I asked, unsure how she would respond. She just chuckled again and said “ah it felt like that every now and again, since I was in school I had to stay home to go each day so sometimes I would be. She would want to go on a trip, I had to go to school or tend to the house so I would stay home while she went out to god knows where. Then when she got home, I’d feed her, listen to the details of her trip, then watch her plan her next one. Don’t get me wrong I went on them with her when I could, but I had a lot on my plate.”

I was speechless, she had just stated that she was essentially an adult before she had even reached double digits in age, but assumed this was normal. “Bella, please don’t take this the wrong way, but I don’t think that’s normal for children of that age.” I said warily, she scoffed and said “Come on I’m sure its fine, most kids have to do chores around the house and cook and all that, just because I did some extras every now and again doesn’t mean my life was overly difficult.”I thought about this for a moment, maybe this really wasn’t as bizarre as I thought. No, no that couldn’t be, I was sure that children usually spent their childhoods making friends and having fun, not filing taxes and cooking meals. 

“Bella, exactly how often were you left alone?” “Most of the time.” she said quite quickly, as if she didn’t need to think about this at all. “Can you elaborate on ‘most of the time?’” I said, once again wary. “Maybe 70 to 80% of the time, I’m not entirely sure but my mother was out quite a lot.” It sounded to me like Renee wasn’t as much of a parent as Bella had said, more of an obligated holder, like Bella was just some sort of possession that she could leave behind. This angered me, Bella had talked about her mother as if she was some sort of admirable figure, yet she would leave her daughter home alone for the sake of what? an adventure?

“You ok?” She asked, I had only just realised I had been silent for a while now “Just thinking” I answered “Penny for your thoughts?” “I’m just unsure about the dynamic, you speak very highly of your mother Bella but I’m starting to become unsure as to why. From what you’ve said, it seems like she doesn’t deserve the praise you give her.” She seemed to tense at this comment, but I continued.

“You say that she left you alone so much of the time, but speak of her as if she never left you alone a day in your life. She would adventure and prance, but leave you alone at home to cook and clean and do your own schoolwork, you must have been so alone Bella.” Her breathing was becoming shaky, I felt bad about continuing but I wanted to try and figure out why she viewed her mother so highly. 

“Your literary capability is so high because once you had finished taking care of a whole house, you had no one to talk to, so you would just read, am I right?” “You’re not wrong but-” “And you learned to cook and clean and take care of yourself because you had no choice, if you didn’t, you would be the one who suffered for it. Am I right?” “yes, you’re right” she said quietly, snuggling into my chest further. I couldn’t exactly make out her tone but I continued again. “Bella, that’s not okay love. This is no issue of yours but I worry that you had to live in an environment like that.” “Its okay” she finally said, I wrapped my arms around her, I could tell she was aware that how her mother had treated wasn’t okay, but she had just decided it was how it would be for her. “That’s just how it turned out for me, okay? I may have been lonely, and tired and had to learn fast but thats just how it is. I could’ve had it much worse, I didn’t get harmed or suffer some mysterious illness,” she looked up at me “sorry.” I laughed quietly, she seemed to think I would take offence at the mention of getting an illness, I may have died of the flu but I’m sure she knew I wasn’t that fragile.

“Shoot” She suddenly said, staring down at my arm, wiggling in an attempt to get up. “What is it Bella, are you okay?” I said releasing her and sitting her up on the couch, turning around to sit beside her. “Yes yes I’m fine I just realised how late it is, I have to get home and sort dinner for Charlie” she was still holding my arm, I realised she was looking at the black banded, silver watch on my wrist. Looks like we had both lost track of time, I looked outside to see the sun almost completely set “I see, let me give you a ride home.” “No no you’re fine, I’ll drive myself. See you later my love.”  She gave me a quick kiss and dashed down the stairs and out the door before I could get another word in. For an exceptionally clumsy human, she could move quite fast.

I sat for a moment, contemplating our conversation, only now realising that the thoughts in the next room were starting to become louder again and I could hear quiet conversation begin. I got up and stalked into the room, dropping myself in an empty armchair amongst the pure white couches. To my left Esme, Carlisle and Alice were all sitting on the couch, exchanging looks, Rosalie and Emmett on the couch to my right, Jasper standing by the floor length window, looking into the forest, deep in thought it seemed. I didn’t look to see what he was thinking specifically, I couldn’t imagine it was anything I would be interested in.

Esme spoke first, looking at me with her natural maternal look somehow more intense on her face. “I’m sorry Edward, we had to listen” She seemed upset at herself so I responded quickly to try and calm her “It’s okay Esme, I know you all are trying to learn more about her. What are your thoughts.” They all seemed to think on it for a moment, all except for Rosalie, who must have done her thinking before I entered the room, she had her opinion concrete, but was waiting for someone else to begin it seemed, or she wouldn’t share it at all. Alice spoke next “Its a shame Edward, it really is. She’s so lovely and kind, and such a good friend to me,” I shot her a look “she WILL be a good friend to me, I frankly hated hearing it, she sounded so upset at having to face it, funny how conversations can change so quickly. A few scattered nods could be seen throughout the room “It doesn’t seem entirely fair, does it?” Carlisle spoke next “She truly is a lovely girl, and although she doesn’t see it she was raised in a neglectful household, yet somehow she still has so much respect for her mother.” “I certainly wouldn’t treat a child that way, however irritating they may be, children deserve love more than anything else” Rosalie spoke quietly, surprising us all, she was never one to feel any positive emotions towards Bella. Well I guess she didn't feel them towards Bella specifically, but in this case Bella was the child in question. Jasper walked towards us and sat down besides Alice. “I can’t say I enjoyed myself either, she definitely wasn’t enjoying herself during your little conversation,” 

All eyes were on Jasper now, he was the last person anyone expected to be emotionally invested in any affair to do with Bella, pun entirely intended “I’m not sure if you’re right Carlisle, judging by what she felt at least, I’m no expert on humans, but she seemed to know.” “What do you mean by that Jasper, what do you mean ‘seemed to know’?” Carlisle responded, obviously confused by his newest sons revelation “She seemed almost numb to what Edward was saying, as if she had heard it before on a lesser scale. It was only when Edward really began to tell it like it is that I saw a real change.” “Which was?” Carlisle urged him on “She seemed almost regretful, I don’t read minds so I obviously can’t tell what exactly she was thinking, but she seemed to feel truly awful for speaking ill of her mother, although she had said nothing that could be considered close to trash talking. I think she knows how she was treated is something that should never be expected from a parent, but she feels as if she owes it to her mother for housing and caring for her, even if she was missing most of the time.” We all looked at him, how he had picked up so much would have to be due to his gift of emotional intelligence, or maybe he was just feeling especially perceptive today. 

“Edward you love her, don’t you?” Esme suddenly said, breaking our silence, all eyes were back on me now “I do Esme, more than I could possibly describe.” “That settles it then,” she spoke with conviction “We will just have to show her how a family should operate, how a true family treats each other. We may not be the cookie cutter definition, but I love you all as my children, and Edward, I love her too. Anyone who you choose to spend your forever with, is a daughter of mine.” She walked over and hugged me, a huge smile all the way across her face causing her eyes to almost fully close. I squeezed her and let her go, looking into her eyes “Thanks mum, that means a lot to me and I’m sure it will mean the world to her.” Emmet chimed in then, jumping to his feet “Well, if I’m getting a sister she best be down for some roughhousing, I’ll show her how siblings REALLY interact.” He also had a smile on his face, cracking his knuckles. “Emmett, she’s human, remember. Maybe let’s keep the physical jabs to a minimum, and focus on verbal jabs instead. What’s life without a healthy dose of your humour.” 

His smile dropped for a moment then returned with even more gusto. “You’re right you’re right I’m hilarious.” He plopped himself back on the couch next to Rosalie at the same time Esme returned to her seat by Carlisle, grabbing and squeezing his hand. “It’s settled then” Carlisle spoke “Since our Edward has chosen to spend his forever with Bella, we will do the same. Anyone that someone in our family choses to love and care for will be just as loved and cared for by the rest of us. Bella is our family now, she has chosen you and you have chosen her, let’s show her just how loving this family can be.”

A/N: I have never written anything like this before so I apologise if it sucks, I hope you all at least get the sentiment.

[capcarolsdanver]

Faking It (Part 3)

Summary: This was a request for a Carol Danvers fake dating fic that will be a multi-chapter series, likely 4 parts! Who doesn’t love a fake dating fic?

Stories come out about Carol and her.. sexual escapades. This could potentially be PR trouble for the Avengers so Tony and Steve convince Carol that maybe the best way out of this mess is to convince the public she is in a committed relationship.. with the reader, her best friend who has feelings for Carol, but believes her feelings aren’t reciprocated. What could possibly go wrong??

Pairing: Carol Danvers x Reader

A/N: Forever apologising over how long I take to update. I will try to get part 4 out ASAP but by now I know not to make any promises of when, haha! This took longer than I thought because I ended up re-writing a lot of the chapter and making it way longer than I ever intended. This part stands at just over 5.5k words. Hopefully it’s worth the wait! As always, feedback is always appreciated! I also added the series taglist at the bottom, so if anyone would like to be added just let me know! Please do not repost my writing anywhere without my permission. PART 1 | PART 2 | PART 4

“Not the best start,” Tony says as he and Steve join you and Carol in the briefing room. You stare at him, your mouth agape.

“What?!” You and Carol were positive you were heading in the right direction after returning to the compound yesterday, so to say you were surprised by Tony’s words was an understatement. Steve puts his hand up to interrupt.

“Tony, didn’t I just say no more than a minute ago not to lead with that?”

“That’s correct,” Tony nods. “But come on, Cap. Did you really think I’d listen? It makes for a pretty dramatic entrance, don’t you think?” He asks you and Carol, although you both are still sitting in a state of confusion.

“Cap?” Carol says and Steve shakes his head at Tony.

“There’s a lot of positive attention you two have received since you were seen together yesterday. Most of the fans seem to be quite taken with the idea of the two of you together. Although, while Tony is just being Tony,” he says, earning an eye roll from the man beside him. “He does kind of have a point.”

You and Carol glance at each other, the worry obvious in Carol’s expression.

“There are some people online questioning the legitimacy of your relationship,” Steve continues. “Some are pointing out that it might seem odd for Carol to have her first public relationship so soon after that article was published.”

“So now what? We’ve already been caught out?” You ask.

“Not necessarily,” Steve says quickly, his reassuring tone as present as always. “We’re only one day in. People don’t know enough about your relationship yet to make a judgement. Besides, there will always be someone to question the legitimacy of anything. For all they know, you two could very well have been together for months already. Which is kind of what we want them to believe.”

“And how do we do that?”

“For now, nothing too over the top. Keep making some small public appearances, like you did yesterday. We do need to amp this up a little but just not too quickly. We need to be smart about this.” You and Carol nod. “Tony and I will figure out the next few steps and call you back in to walk you through it, okay?”

“You’ve got it,” you say, waving to Steve and Tony before you and Carol take your leave.

You head towards the main living area of the building, on your way towards the main door. You and Carol had already planned beforehand to make another appearance somewhere else today which luckily aligned with Steve and Tony’s plans.

“This may be the most intense mission I’ve ever been apart of,” you joke, earning a chuckle from Carol.

“Yeah, sorry about that.”

You walk into the living room where you find Natasha, Bruce, Clint, Bucky and Sam all sitting together. They all look in your and Carol’s direction.

“You two got something to share with the group?” Nat loudly asks, waving her phone in the air. The rest of the group watching you expectantly.

You look at Carol and she nods back at you.

“We do, actually,” you announce.

“I so knew it! You owe me $50, Buck!” Sam exclaims. Bucky turns towards Sam, a fiery expression on his face, clearly ready to argue back.

“Before you children start fighting, how about you let the adults speak?” Carol warns and Bucky sheepishly shrinks back into his seat, muttering an apology as he does so.

Nat chuckles. “Well?”

“This.” You gesture between yourself and Carol. “It isn’t real.”

“It isn’t real?” Nat asks disbelievingly and you nod in confirmation. “You know we’ve seen the photos online, right?”

“Yeah, I figured,” you sigh. “But we aren’t together.”

“You do realise that you’ve told all of us, multiple times, that you aren’t together before. But you still expect us to believe that now?” Clint asks.

“Yeah, we do. Because it’s the truth. It’s all fake,” Carol says impatiently.

“Ask Steve and Tony if you don’t believe us. It was their idea,” you add.

They all sit in silence for a few moments, sharing looks between each other. You notice Nat’s eyes on you, studying you, and you fidget under her intense gaze. She’s always been able to read you so well.

“Why?” Bruce asks, genuine curiosity in his tone.

“These articles about me were starting to come out and-“

“And Captain America didn’t like the bad press?” Nat guesses with a chuckle and a shake of her head, knowing exactly what Steve was like.

“Something like that,” Carol replies. “If everyone could just keep this secret within the building that would be great.”

“Oh, and don’t tell Peter either.”

“Yeah, we love the kid but he documents literally everything. We don’t want him accidentally revealing our secret to the whole world,” Carol explains.

“That’s probably for the best,” you hear one of them say before they all share a laugh.

After you and Carol thank them all, you continue on your way towards the main door, walking through one of the many halls of the compound.

“What’s the plan for today, then?”

“Hmm,” you hum in thought before you both hear footsteps approaching behind you.

“Y/N.” You and Carol turn at Nat’s voice. “Mind if I talk to you for a second?”

“Of course not,” you say. Carol looks from Nat back to you and awkwardly gestures behind her.

“Guess I’ll wait by the door?”

You nod and Carol quickly glances between you and Nat again before she turns and heads on her way.

“What’s up?”

“Don’t ‘what’s up’ me,” Nat scolds, giving you a friendly nudge. “So what’s really going on with you and Captain Sparkles, hmm?” Her eyebrows dance suggestively.

“Nothing,” you say, perhaps a little too quickly. Nat gives you an unimpressed look and you hold up your hands in defence. “I swear. We’re only doing what Steve and Tony tell us to.”

“Okay,” Nat says after a beat. “And how do you feel about that?”

“What do you mean?” You ask, playing dumb and dropping your head to avoid Nat’s eyes at all cost.

“I mean,” she grabs your shoulders, steadying you and ducking her head to meet your gaze. “I know you. I know how into Carol you are. And if you ask me, she’s just as into you as well.”

“She’s not into me,” you scoff. “She’s into all the girls at Tony’s parties that she hooks up with. Have you ever seen her look at me like that?”

“Y/N. We both know that she doesn’t see those girls as any more than a one night stand. Of course she’s not going to look at you like that.”

You stare blankly at Nat for a second, her words catching you off guard. She smiles at you, as always reading you like an open book.

“Are you two trying to figure out where to go for your fake outing?” She asks, moving the subject along to give you space to consider her words that now play on your mind.

“Yeah,” you mumble out distractedly.

“Why don’t you go to that ice cream place you love? Make Danvers buy you a couple scoops.” She shrugs. “She’s the reason you’re in this mess, right?”

She gives you a knowing kind of expression which you can’t quite read before she’s heading back in the direction she came from. You stay there for a solid few seconds, going over the conversation in your head, before finally moving to catch up to Carol.

————————

You end up taking Nat’s advice, heading to the ice cream shop which, admittedly, you love way more than you probably should. Carol is the one to offer to pay for your ice cream, handing her card over before you even get the chance to resist.

You sit down at another outside table, Carol sitting opposite you, each with your own ice cream cup in hand.

“So what did Nat want to talk to you about earlier?” Carol asks.

“Oh, nothing really,” you dismiss. Carol watches you carefully as you eat your ice cream.

“Are you sure? You’ve been pretty quiet since we left.”

“Have I? Sorry, I didn’t notice.” In truth, you hadn’t actually noticed. Nat’s words had been playing on repeat since your conversation and you were too stuck in your own head to think about anything else.

Carol nods at you. She gives you a look as if she doesn’t believe you, though she doesn’t question you any further.

You both continue absentmindedly eating your ice cream in silence before your thoughts eventually get the better of you.

“Can I ask you a question?” You blurt out and Carol looks at you curiously.

“Of course.” She puts her ice cream cup down on the table to give you her full attention.

“The, um,” you look down at the table, entirely embarrassed you’re even about to ask this.

“The girls that you meet at the parties. Do you ever see them more than once?”

Carol seems taken aback by your question, opening and closing her mouth before even forming a solid word.

“No, I don’t think I ever have.”

“Have you ever wanted to?”

“No,” she says without a hint of hesitation.

“Why not?” You ask, your curiosity completely taking over. “You don’t enjoy their company?”

Carol breathes out a short laugh. “Oh, trust me. I enjoy their company just fine in the moment,” she mumbles, lifting her plastic spoon to her mouth to eat some of her ice cream. When she looks back up, she finds your eyes already on her.

She places her spoon back down, clearing her throat. “None of them mean anything to me, you know? I’m sure you know just as well as I do that it’s hard for people like us to find someone that we can really share a connection with. And I’m certainly not looking for that when I talk to those women at Tony’s parties.”

She seems more and more flustered the longer she talks, so you decide to cut her some slack.

“I get it, Carol. I was just curious,” you say and she meets your eyes again before you notice her eyes moving to slowly study the details of your face, the second time in a matter of days that you’ve noticed her doing this.

Nat’s words suddenly play over in your head again and for just a second you allow yourself to buy into her theory.

Though you hadn’t necessarily watched every one of Carol’s interactions with everyone she met at Tony’s events, you’d seen enough to know that she generally gave nothing more than a quick survey of whoever she was interested in from across the room before excusing herself to go talk to them. Their conversations never seemed to last long before she would be taking their hand and leading them out with her.

You don’t need to know much to know that this was different, though.

You feel warm at the sudden possibility, as slight as it may be, of Carol liking you back.

You aren’t sure if you imagine it or not when Carol’s eyes seem to linger on your lips for a moment too long, fixated when you nervously wet them with your tongue. She only lifts her eyes at the sudden sound of your phone beeping in your pocket.

Carol shakes her head slightly, presumably to clear it, and stares at the table to gather her thoughts while you grab your phone out of your pocket to see a new text notification on your screen.

“Who is it?” She says when she notices you texting back.

“It’s just Nat.”

“Oh, right,” Carol says, squinting her eyes in thought for a second. “Is she messaging you about whatever you two talked about earlier?” She tries to ask it casually but you sense something else in her tone and look up.

“No, she’s just wondering when we’ll be back. Sounds like Peter’s organising some games night or something and wants to make sure we’ll be there.”

Your phone beeps again and you read Nat’s newest text teasing you about staying out late with Carol and you can’t stop the light smile that plays at your lips.

“What did she say?” Carol asks with a slight unease still lacing her tone.

“Why? You jealous, Danvers?” You tease, successfully moving the subject away from Nat’s text. You smirk at her as you put your phone back into your pocket.

Carol rolls her eyes at you but she’s quick to drop the eye contact and something in the back of your mind tells you that you’re right on the money.

“No, I’m not jealous, jerk.”

“You sure? Being my fake girlfriend and all, I appreciate your commitment to the role, but jealousy is not necessary.”

Carol tries to hold back a smile but there’s still a glint of amusement in her eyes when she looks up at you, her cheeks a light shade of pink which you are an immediate fan of.

“You’re an ass.”

You laugh, pleased that you seem to have eased whatever tension Carol had been feeling. At least for the moment.

You fall into a comfortable silence while you both finish eating your ice cream and you get lost in a daydream again until Carol’s voice pulls you out of it.

“Y/N, looks like we’ve got company.” She tilts her head slightly in the direction of a lone paparazzo.

Luckily for you and majority of the team, you didn’t really rely on secret identities so much, Tony kind of setting the tone for everyone else when he originally revealed that he was Iron Man. A select few still kept their identities hidden as much as possible, though. Tony was persistent that Peter try to remain anonymous, at least until he was no longer a minor, but almost everyone else either had their identity revealed for them or took Tony’s lead and found it too difficult to keep denying allegations that they were, in fact, their alter egos.

The feeling you get at seeing a stranger taking photos of you like this is something you know you’ll likely never get used to. They often show up in places that you and the others frequent, but it still seems to take you by surprise every time you see them pointing their cameras at you.

In this case, though, as uncomfortable as you felt having a stranger there specifically to take photos of you, you knew this was a good thing for you and Carol.

“Alright, what should we do?” You ask.

“What do you mean?”

“Well, you heard Steve and Tony. We need to start amping things up. Not much, but a little.”

Carol looks at you warily.

“What did you have in mind?”

You bite your lip in thought, Carol’s eyes once again dropping to them. This, of course, has an idea springing to your head. You just aren’t sure how good an idea it is.

“How about a kiss?” You rush out, Carol’s eyes snapping back up to your own.

“Excuse me?” Was all she could get out.

“Why don’t we kiss?” You repeat. “It’s not too much but it’s also enough that I’m sure it will get people talking.”

Carol slowly nods. “You’re right. It’s the perfect progression.”

“Should we do it now?” You ask as your nerves hit an all time high.

“As we leave,” Carol says and you nod in agreement. After a few moments, Carol takes a deep breath and releases it before taking both empty ice cream cups from the table to dispose of them, walking away from the table.

You take the moment alone to try to settle your nerves. Sure, you’ve thought about kissing Carol before, more than once. But never like this. It feels almost cruel of you to be putting yourself in this position. What the hell were you thinking? But you knew there was no way out now, and you just had to suck it up and get on with it.

You feel Carol’s hand on your shoulder to get your attention when she arrives back at the table and she smiles at you when you stand.

“You okay?”

“Yeah,” you say, a slight uneasiness to your voice.

��I bet you kinda regret not taking me up on my offer to practise fake kissing now, huh?” She asks, forcing back a smile, and you shoot her a playful glare.

“Watch it, Danvers.”

She lets out a light laugh and lifts one of her hands to tuck a loose strand of hair behind your ear, your heart just about leaping out of your chest. She leaves her hand resting on your cheek and looks down to your lips before locking her eyes with yours, searching for any hesitation. When she doesn’t find any, she gently pulls your face towards hers, meeting your lips tentatively with her own.

The kiss is slow at first, the two of you completely unsure how to handle this new territory, but the more you move your lips against Carol’s, the more your confidence seems to grow.

You break apart only for the shortest moment as you readjust, your hands resting on Carol’s waist as you press closer to her. Carol’s hand shifts from your cheek to the nape of your neck and you melt further into the kiss when you feel her grip your hair lightly.

You’re about to take the kiss to the next level when you vaguely remember why this kiss is even happening. You force yourself to finally pull away from Carol, perhaps a second or two too late, and rest your forehead against hers.

You both let out heavy breaths while you try to steady your heartbeat, and if Carol’s state is anything to go by, she’s trying to do the same.

“Wow,” you whisper.

“Yeah, guess we didn’t need to practise after all,” Carol says, smirking when you let out a laugh and push her back.

She smiles at you cheekily before grabbing your hand, stepping backwards to pull you along before stepping back into place next to you.

————————

Walking back through the doors of the Avengers compound, you can already hear everyone’s voices and laughter coming from the large games room that Tony had designed upon Peter’s request. He had insisted that it was a necessity, and how was Tony to deny the kid?

Mostly everyone besides a few are sat on the couches towards the back of the room and you spot Nat amongst the group. She meets your eye before her gaze drops down between you and Carol and she smirks.

You look down between you to realise that your hands are still clasped together, fingers tightly interlocked. Carol seems completely oblivious, a soft smile on her face as she looks around the room at all your friends.

You turn your head back to Nat, who winks at you and you can’t help the ridiculous smile that finds its way on your face as you shake your head. She gestures to Peter, who is sat in front of her talking animatedly as usual, a huge grin on his face. You didn’t think it was possible but when he spots you and Carol his grin grows even wider.

“Here they are now!” He exclaims, leaping over the back of the couch he was sitting on and bounding over to you. With no time to react, he already has you and Carol wrapped up in a tight hug.

“I’m so happy for you two!” He says, his voice muffled somewhere in the middle of the hug.

“Uh, what for, Pete?” Carol asks.

He suddenly pulls back from the hug and gives Carol an incredulous look.

“‘What for, Pete!?’ Don’t ‘what for, Pete’ me,” he says and Carol looks at you, clearly stifling a laugh. “I always knew you two would end up together! I told everyone it would happen. Right, guys?” He shouts, looking over his shoulder.

They all either nod or offer some version of “yeah” and Peter swings his head back to look at you, the grin still firmly on his face.

“Thanks, Pete,” you say, trying for your most convincing smile to match his excitement.

“Yeah, thanks, buddy,” Carol adds and Peter nods, pulling you each into another quick hug before excitedly moving on, leaving you and Carol baffled.

“This is the coolest!” You hear him shout back at you, already halfway across the room.

“Oh boy,” you say and Carol chuckles.

“Let’s just hope we made the right decision by not telling him the truth.”

“Yeah, and let’s hope we don’t completely break his heart when he finds out it isn’t real.”

Games night at the compound always end up being a fun time. It usually starts early and finishes late, and it certainly helps that Tony always makes sure there’s plenty of alcohol readily available for the adults.

After the day you’ve already had, you don’t hesitate in the slightest when Bucky offers you your first drink. Carol takes one too, though regular alcohol has practically no effect on her these days. She usually likes to drink for the social side of it, unless Thor is around. In which case, the two of them tend to try to outdrink each other with Thor’s Asgardian alcohol.

It only takes a couple of drinks for you to feel pretty buzzed and you decide to sit out playing the games in favour of watching everyone else play while you sip your next few drinks. This very quickly just turns into you watching Carol as she laughs freely, everyone in the middle of a particularly inappropriate round of Cards Against Humanity.

As hard as you try, you can’t keep your eyes off her, even after the few times she catches you staring at her. She wears that light blush that you’ve become so fond of on her cheeks, as if she’s suddenly shy to receive attention from you.

You’re next to Nat, who of course does nothing but make fun of you for staring at Carol the whole night.

“Could you undress her with your eyes any more?” she teases, laughing when you huff out an annoyed breath. “Thinking about that kiss you two shared?”

You look at her in question and she shrugs at you. “What? It’s already all over the internet.”

“Of course it is,” you blush.

“You both seemed pretty into it.” She bumps your shoulder with hers and raises her eyebrows at you.

“Yeah, well. It was just a fake kiss, so,” you fade off with a shrug. You take another sip of your drink and cast your eyes to the ground with a pout.

“Aw, come on. Don’t be sad. You know what will make you feel better? Cuddling with your boo,” Nat jokes and you glare at her. It only takes another second before your eyes find Carol again and you’re surprised to find her eyes already on you, looking curiously between you and Nat.

“You know what? Maybe it will,” you throw back at Nat as if it was some kind of insult and you glare at her once more before standing and making your way over to Carol, ignoring Nat’s laughter from behind you as you go.

“Hey there,” Carol smiles up at you and in your current state you waste no time dropping down on the couch next to her, pressing into her side.

“Hey,” you say back, your lips still forming the pout that Nat had put there.

“Everything okay?” Carol turns from the game for a moment, her attention solely on you.

“Mhmm,” you nod, though your unchanging expression says otherwise. Carol watches you for a beat before placing her arm around you.

“You sure?” She asks kindly. You take full advantage of your new position and press yourself further into Carol’s side.

“Yeah. I’m just pretty tired,” you mumble, offering her a half-convincing smile.

“Okay. Did you want me to walk you to your room so you can get some sleep?” Carol offers, already moving to get up.

“No,” you say, pulling her back. “I’m good here for a while.”

“Okay.” She’s slightly confused but happy nonetheless, and she continues to play the game from this position. You watch in contentment for a few more minutes before your alcohol induced tiredness gets the better of you and you scoot even closer to Carol, leaning your weight on her and pressing your head into her chest.

Carol wraps her arm around you a little tighter, smiling to herself, and without even thinking she leans down to press a soft kiss to the top of your head.

Of course, she’s too preoccupied to see Peter next to you, grabbing his phone out to take a quick selfie.

————————

You wake up remarkably warm.

You seriously feel like you’ve never felt so comfortable in your entire life. You snuggle closer to the source of warmth, sighing contently before recognising the gentle rise and fall of someone breathing beneath you.

You immediately panic, pushing yourself back and into an upright position on the bed to find Carol lying next to you, startled by your sudden movements.

“You’re awake! I thought I’d never get you off me,” she jokes, a teasing smile on her lips. “Thanks for scaring me half to death in the process.”

“Yeah, uh. What are you doing here, Car?” You rub your eyes, trying to make sense of things. A quick look around confirms that you are definitely in your allocated room.

“You seriously don’t remember?” Carol’s light expression switches to a fond kind of glare which she can’t seem to hold for even a second before she’s smiling at you again.

You shrug, wracking your brain for answers but coming up short. Man, you really were a lightweight these days.

“You don’t remember me forcing you to get up from the couch so I could walk you to your room last night, only to have you drag me in here and refuse to let me leave?”

“Oh. No. Sorry about that,” you reply sheepishly, a blush adorning your cheeks. Carol laughs at you.

“It’s okay, I don’t mind.” She sits up and like last night, you can’t seem to keep your eyes off her. “I did get a text from Tony that they want us in the briefing room soon, though. So it’s the perfect time for us to both get up, anyway.”

You nod and watch Carol rise from the bed, stretching her arms above her head and causing the hem of her shirt to rise. It’s a struggle for you not to look at the newly exposed skin, her muscles tightening as she stretches, and it takes everything in you to turn your head away.

You look at your bedside table where there is a glass of water and an aspirin which you eagerly take, easily draining the glass of its contents.

You put the glass down beside your phone, smiling when you notice that Carol had obviously plugged the charger in for you the previous night. Your brow furrows and your smile quickly fades, however, when the screen lights up and you see the long list of notifications you have.

You scroll through them to figure out the reason when you see a notification from Instagram that you received late last night, “@spiderman_official tagged you in a post”.

You hesitate before clicking on the notification. You don’t recall taking any photos with Peter last night, so you’re not sure if you’re just curious or a little scared to see what he tagged you in.

The photo loads and you study it, unable to stop the smile that tugs at your lips. It’s a selfie. Peter’s familiar grin is visible but he’s added large heart stickers over his eyes in an effort to keep his identity hidden.

Your eyes immediately land on you and Carol, who are sat beside Peter in the image. Your head is buried into Carol’s chest and Carol has her lips pressed to the top of your head, an unmistakable smile on her face.

Peter’s caption reads “LOVE is LOVE and I LOVE LOVE!!” with several different coloured heart emojis.

Your heart swells at the photo and you roll your eyes affectionately at Peter’s caption. Though, who said anything about love!?

“I’m gonna go to my room and shower. I’ll meet you in the briefing room in, like, half an hour?” Carol asks on her way to the door and you nod in confirmation.

“Okay.” You smile brightly at her and she smiles back, albeit somewhat confused, and you watch her leave.

You stand up from your bed, pleasantly surprised at how well you were fairing considering what you were like last night, and make your way into the bathroom to get ready.

————————

You arrive at the briefing room with a minute or two to spare and find Carol already seated at the table, a mug of hot coffee at her lips. She gestures to another mug in front of the seat next to her and you smile gratefully.

“Oh my god, you’re too good to me,” you say, sitting down and taking a sip of the fresh coffee. Carol watches you for a moment.

“I only treat you how you deserve to be treated,” she says quietly, which is not at all what you were expecting her to say. You aren’t sure how to respond, but thankfully at that moment Steve and Tony walk through the door, bidding you good morning.

“You two did well yesterday!” Tony starts. “I thought the public kiss was good on its own, but then you top it off with Peter’s Instagram post? Bravo,” Tony claps in approval.

“Peter’s post? What post?” Carol speaks up, looking at you with a puzzled face. Tony pauses, immediately stopping his clapping.

“Wait. That wasn’t a set up you organised? Oh, that makes it so much better.” Tony laughs, unable to hide even the slightest bit of amusement.

“It’s not important. It still works in your favour,” Steve reassures, trying to move the conversation on when he notices the deep blush starting to appear on your face. Despite his words, Carol still pulls her phone out, presumably to open Instagram.

Tony’s laughter doesn’t falter in the slightest.

“Anyway,” Steve says at the same time that you notice Carol’s face turn a deep red, turning her phone off and putting it away. Tony laughs even harder, earning himself a harsh glare from Carol.

“Tony?” Steve says with a sense of authority to his voice.

“Yeah?” Tony manages through his laughter. Steve gives him a pointed look and he straightens up a bit. “Oh, right.” It takes a good few moments for him to collect himself and when he does he tries to take the conversation as seriously as Steve again.

“We’ve decided that since we seem to be on the right track now, we can take things to the next level. Conveniently for us, Thor will be returning to Earth in the next couple of days. Since it’s been a while since we’ve seen him, I thought, 'why not throw him a welcome back party?’”

“Usually, reporters are all over this kind of event.” Steve takes over. “We will all be there, and with Y/N and Carol being the hot new topic, everyone will want to get a glimpse of you two at your first official public appearance as a couple.”

“Do the other appearances not count? You ask.

“They do. But they don’t really show anyone how serious you are as a couple. Let’s face it. Tony’s parties have been where Carol has gotten herself into trouble in the past.”

“Hey!” Carol interrupts, but Steve continues.

“If you both show up together, as each other’s dates, it will make everything official. Peter’s post has already been a huge help, too. I think this will sell it for everyone who may still be on the fence about you two as a couple.”

“That is if Danvers can keep it in her pants.” Tony smirks and Carol just about jumps over the table trying to take a swipe at him.

Steve catches your eye in between the two of them and he smiles, rolling his eyes at their antics. You shake your head with your own smile in response.

“So when is this party happening, then?” You ask, pulling Carol back by the arm and giving her a cautionary look which she pouts at.

“Thor will be back by Friday at the latest, so we’ve decided that Saturday is the best option for everyone.” You nod.

“Oh, and I’ve already asked Happy to organise your outfits, so no need to worry about any of that,” Tony adds.

“Happy is organising our outfits!?” You sound unconvinced at best.

“You’d be surprised, he’s actually pretty good.” You laugh. You honestly learn something new here everyday.

“Are we all set here then, ladies?” Steve asks.

“We’re all good. Thanks, guys.”

The meeting ends how they all usually do. Steve and Tony leaving you and Carol on your own to wonder how the hell you got into this position.

***** Series Taglist: @lovelylittlelionx​ @desaulniersbriannes​ @outofcontextavengers​ @mysticpansy (tag didn’t work)

[karajaynetoday]

and I can't stop that long forgotten feeling of her | ashton irwin

Here we go again with the emo angst! Thanks so much to everyone who has shared and sent feedback on the other parts. You can read part one here and part two here, and also part four here once you’ve finished with this bit. 

Part three is inspired by Flame Trees (originally by Australian band Cold Chisel in 1984, but I would absolutely recommend listening to the cover by Sarah Blasko which I had on repeat while working on this piece). All of the italics in this piece are lyrics from the song. 

More writing here | send feedback/thoughts/suggestions here

Trigger warning for mentions of death of a family member (non-graphic), a funeral and cremation.

Word count: 2.3k words

(This is a fem reader insert)

Kids out driving Saturday afternoon just pass me by | And I'm just savouring familiar sights

The drive to the church is quiet. Ashton insisted on driving you and your siblings, and despite your protests, he’d gotten his way. You were daydreaming out the window, pondering how everyone else in the world was just getting on with their lives when yours still felt so dark and painful. You’d spent your whole life driving and wandering these streets, and the houses and the trees and the footpaths felt like home. But then again, you’d never lived anywhere else, so where else would you feel like you belonged? 

You glanced over at Ash, who has one hand on the wheel. Does he feel at home here, you wonder? Does his heart feel settled when he drives in from the airport? Does he breathe in the air and breathe out his stress? Does he think of this place often? When he thinks of home, does he think of you? 

You catch yourself staring at Ashton, admiring how he runs one hand through his curls, and quickly returned to staring out your own window and continue your daydream. You’re rehearsing your eulogy in your head, when you feel a gentle hand brush over your own, and Ash slips his fingers between yours over the car’s centre console and gives your hand a squeeze. He’s got that soft smile on his face that you know for a fact can light up a whole room, but there’s a solemness about him today. The smile doesn’t quite reach his eyes; and you notice the dark circles on his face for the first time. Had you been so lost in yourself that you hadn’t seen how everything was bearing down on everyone around you? But then again, that was just it: everything was bearing down and you couldn’t see how it would stop deepening the gloominess you felt in your soul.  

We share some history, this town and I | And I can't stop that long forgotten feeling of her

Even though you’d rehearsed it in your head and in front of the mirror, stepping up to the podium and staring out at the faces everyone who was gathered to honour your mother’s memory made a lump rise in your throat and tears prick in your eyes. You closed your eyes, breathing deeply, and grasped the hands of your siblings who stood by your side. When you opened your eyes, the first thing you saw was Ashton, staring back at you with a sympathetic look. He nodded at you, mouthing words of encouragement, and with that you were able to begin.

How sad it was, that she’d been taken so soon. How incredible it was, that she’d raised three children on her own, and always made birthdays and Christmases so special. How funny it was, that she always joked about her funeral being on the warmest winter day. How proud you were, to be her daughter and carry on her memory and her name. 

How sad it was, but how glad you were. To be in this room, and in this town, with so many people that loved her and loved your family like their own. To be able to talk together and laugh together and just remember. 

Oh the flame trees will blind the weary driver | And there's nothing else could set fire to this town

Ashton drove you home again in the gentle silence you’d had on the way there. Your siblings had opted to stay at friends’ houses for the night, wanting a change of scenery and some company to make them feel a bit normal again. You couldn’t blame them; every part of your house reminded you of her. From the cushions on the couch that she’d embroidered, or her favourite mug she always used for her morning cup of coffee, or the little succulents she’d planted in pots and scattered on every windowsill that got full sun at some point during the day. She was everywhere, and it should’ve been comforting, but all you wanted to do was pack it all away and not think about it because surely you couldn’t keep feeling this sad. Not forever.

When Ashton pulled into the driveway, you hesitated before unbuckling your seatbelt.

“Can you.. Do you want to come in? For a cuppa?” You mumbled, not quite meeting Ashton’s eyes, as you leaned forward to grab your bag from the floor of the passenger seat.

“Of course, love. I’m in no rush.”

You busied yourself in the kitchen, filling the kettle and finding two mugs and mulling over your extensive tea bag selection before settling on a chamomile for yourself and a green tea for Ashton, because he’d been telling you about how his yoga instructor back in Los Angeles ensured they all drank a cup of it after each class. You could hear Ash shuffling around in the lounge room, and when you came in with the two cups of tea in your hands, you found him flipping through the stack of vinyl records your mother kept on a bookshelf. 

You settled down onto the couch, resting Ashton’s mug on the coffee table and taking a long sip of your own brew. You chuckled softly, as you noticed his eyes lighting up in excitement as he examined each new vinyl in the stack.

“Dude, have you looked at these?! Alanis Morrissette, Pink Floyd, Soundgarden?! Your mum had fuckin’ sick taste.” Ashton mused happily, reaching over to grasp his cup of tea and raise it to you in a gesture of thanks. 

“Oh, I know. And she knew it, too… keep going, you might find some more things of interest in that pile.” You said softly, a sad smile etched on your face. Eventually, Ash found his own band’s album on vinyl in the stack and he looked up at you, surprised.

“What? As if she wouldn’t add you to the collection. She was so excited when she found out you were releasing things on vinyl.” 

Ash carefully placed all the records back onto the shelf, and sat down next to you on the couch. He stretched out his arm above your shoulders, and you instinctively leaned into his warmth. 

“I know, I always thought of her when we talked about pressing vinyl for the albums, but I just… seeing it in the living room, where we used to blast Cold Chisel and INXS and Silverchair and dance around like idiots til she’d yell it us to go to bed, makes it feel like that was a million years ago, you know?” 

“That’s because it was, Ash. When you’re only 26, ten years ago does feel like a million.” You said quietly, fiddling with the cup in your hands. “You should pick out your favourite records and take them back home with you. She’d like that.”

You can feel Ashton’s gaze on you, and you turn your head to look him in the eye. He looks perplexed. 

“What? Where are you in that great, complicated, genius mind of yours?” You asked, prodding him in the side. He grabs your hand, and kisses it softly. “You said I should take them back home with me. But… I feel at home right now, with you.” Ash whispered, like he was almost afraid of his own words. You felt your heart start to beat faster, and you squeeze his hand tightly. 

“Then stay. At least… stay for tonight. Stay home with me.” You whispered back, and then suddenly Ashton’s lips are on yours and it’s much more heated than a few nights ago out on the couch in Neverland, and you can almost feel the desperate sense of hopelessness in Ashton’s embrace. You let yourself get lost in the warmth and the pleasure and the feeling because it’s the first thing you’ve felt other than sadness and despair in months before you realise that you’re basically straddling Ashton and tugging on his shirt and then suddenly you catch yourself and pull away.

“I’m sorry, I can’t - I can’t do this.” You stutter out, feeling the panic rising in your chest. Almost like he can feel it, Ashton reaches out and runs his arms up and down your sides reassuringly. 

“It’s okay, love. You’re fine. I shouldn’t have done that, I just got a bit caught up. Being here, with you, with the vinyls, after everything… I just need you to know that I lo-”

“NO.” You almost bark, pushing yourself up off the couch and stalking down the hall towards your bedroom.

“Wait, you can’t just -” Ashton began, rushing to catch up with you.

“What, Ashton?! I can’t WHAT?!” You spat, spinning on your heel to face him. “I can’t walk away after you tell me you love me? After you promise me that you won’t leave me? After you tell me I feel like home?!” You wanted to sound harsh and cold, but your voice broke on the last few words. 

You felt your knees buckle underneath you, and you slid down your bedroom door as the angry tears began to fall. Ashton sat quietly beside you, and you could tell he was hesitant to say anything for fear of upsetting you more.

“It’s not fair. You know it’s not.” You sniffled, wiping your face on your sleeve. 

“I know. I never wanted this to happen. Not to us.” Ashton spoke, his voice laced with sadness.

“Can you just… stay, just for tonight? And then in the morning we can be adults and talk about our issues and sort out our lives. I don’t want to guilt-trip you, buuuut my mother DID just die so it’d be bloody wonderful if my best friend could lend me his body heat and maybe whisper some reassuring phrases to me while I sleep.” You tried to lighten the mood, feeling your sadness and anger start to dissipate as Ashton laughed. Honestly, that laugh. What you would do to hear it every day. 

“Of course I can, sunshine. Lead the way.” Ash stood and pulled you to your feet, and you opened your bedroom door and lead him inside. You were both quiet, as you undressed for bed, and still quiet as you pulled back the covers and climbed into bed. But then again, with Ash, you didn’t always need words. You just needed each other. 

Ashton’s arm found your waist and pulled your body into his gently, as he snuggled into your shoulder. You felt your eyes start to droop, and your breathing start to even out in sync with Ashton’s, and you fell into one of the deepest sleeps you’d had in years. 

And I'm happy just to sit here a table with old friends | And see which one of us can tell the biggest lies

The next few days, you began and ended your days like that: peaceful and calm in Ashton’s arms. You’d heard him on the phone early one morning, arguing with someone about rescheduling something-or-other, and you knew that he’d have to leave you soon. But somehow, despite all of the sadness of the past few weeks, you felt better about letting him go than you had all those years ago. Something in the air had changed, and you couldn’t quite pinpoint it, but you just knew that things would be okay.

On Thursday, the funeral home called to say that your mother’s ashes were ready for collection. You managed to drive there yourself without any issues, and it seemed very strange that one of your favourite people were now reduced to small particles in a fancy silver jar-looking-thing, but you collected them nonetheless.

Your mother had grown up about an hour away from where you lived now, and after her diagnosis she talked to you about wanting her ashes scattered in a field in the mountains, so her mortal and immortal souls could join and be at peace in the place where she began her life all those years ago. So the next morning, after a short breakfast, you and your siblings drove up into the Blue Mountains, searching for the perfect place to commemorate the woman you all loved so much. Ashton and his family joined you, driving in convoy, and when you parked up alongside a grassy field where you could see a trickling creek and the sunlight peeking through the old, tall trees, they followed suit and joined you at the fence line on the side of the road. 

One by one, your siblings took turns scattering the ashes, before handing the silver urn to you for the last part. You closed your eyes, and tipped out the urn, whispering under your breath like she was there to hear you. And in that moment, you felt like she was. Because the wind seemed to still, and the sun broke through the clouds, and you were there with those who knew and loved her the most, so of course she would be there too. 

And that’s when you knew, that no matter if you stayed in the house with her cushions and her plants and her vinyl records, or if you followed your heart to the other side of the world, that she’d always be with you. Because she was in your heart, and home is where the heart is. 

There's no change, there's no pace | Everything within its place | Just makes it harder to believe that she won't be around

More writing here | send feedback/thoughts/suggestions here

[imnotwolverine]

The marriage pact - Reality strikes

Henry Cavill x OC Alice - multi-chapter

< Part 20 | Part 21 Reality strikes | Part 22 >

Disclaimer: Some angst

Author’s note: No idea what to write here today other than it’s 7.52 AM, so: good morning! 

Word count: 2.723

(Link to my Masterlist)

Dear readers,

Another year reaches its end and I’m sitting here with mixed emotions. Tonight I’ll be celebrating with friends. Meaning a house filled with a whole horde of kids and a few slightly boozed up adults.

I’ll be the only childless adult. I’ll be the only unmarried adult. And with my dear chocolate cake right now working abroad, I’ll also be the only adult that will show up alone.

It is what it is. Life’s reality. But I must admit that it sets a tiny sad note to an otherwise quite lovely year. I lost one love, but gained a far better one in return. I now know my parents better than I probably ever have - and what joy it has been to share my life with them again. Also, I am writing my first novel and that is truly a dream come true.

Looking at this from the bright side; it does give me some new goals for the next year and I can’t wait to smash next year out of the park. Do you have any new years resolutions, dear readers?

Ali

‘9..8..7…’

*BBZZZZTT-BZZZZTTTT*

With hasty fingers I grasped for my phone, hearing the count down quickly proceed. Henry bear. It was silly to feel relieved to see his name. 

He didn’t forget. 

‘5..4..3..’

Putting him on speakers I laughed as my friends had bottles of champagne in hand, thumbs on the ready-to-pop corks. Around us excited, albeit slightly sleepy, children were watching with expectant eyes, their arms hugging their favourite stuffies. It was special for them to be allowed to stay up so late, which only added onto the magic of New Years eve.

‘2..1!!!’

PffffPOP - ’Oh fuck..!!’

A cork shot out in a wild direction and near hit Gisele in the face, everyone gasping as the poor woman blinked in silent terror. Ooph..that could have gone wrong.

‘HANKK..come on!’ She laughed after recapitulating a bit, her shocked lips turning up in amused smile. And just like that the mood was good again, everyone starting to give each other kisses and hugs. After clinking my glass with a few friends I quickly walked off to the quiet of the hallway, bringing my ear back to my phone, Henry expectantly waiting for my voice.

‘Hen..’ My voice was cracking.

‘ALI, YOU OKAY? DID SOMETHING HAPPEN?’

‘Haha..’ I sniffled back a little tear. ‘No no. Just Hendrik being a fool..*sniff* with the champagne. Nobody’s hurt though.’

‘Hey baby.’ He said, still mildly concerned, hearing me sniffling back tears. ‘Hi.’ I mumbled, looking over my shoulder to see the party getting in full swing, glasses refilled and kids jumping with excitement, everyone dancing on the music that was playing on the tv.

‘Happy new year.’ I whispered, hiding another quiet sob.

‘Happy new year baby.’ He sighed. ‘Gosh I wish I could be there. I miss you terribly.’

‘Same..*sniff* sorry about this. It’s just the wine I think.’

‘Hmm..it’s okay baby. I’m going to kiss allll those tears away when I get back, okay?’ His promise sounded extra bitter, because that would take another three weeks. Three long weeks before he’d get back here for two days, only to fly back again immediately after. But then again, trying to see it on a more positive note; that gave me three weeks to put some pressure on getting that hiatus approved. And that was do-able, right?

—

‘Hi Ali.’ Mrs. Mulligan smiled, lighting up another cigarette, the office building quiet as most employees were out running reports. It was mid January and though I hoped there would be good news, I never could be quite so sure with Mrs. Mulligan. The bad ass Chief editor was hard for me to read. Was she happy? Enthused? Taking the piss? Or being for real? Sinking down in the seat opposite of her desk I gave her a pensive look.

‘Hi Mrs. Mulligan.’ I said, trying my best at returning the smile she offered me. She chuckled. ‘You worry too much Ali. Really.’ She sucked on her cigarette, the tip burning bright orange. Licking her lips she shifted forward a bit. ‘So how is Henry?’

Of course, small talk. I sighed and shrugged. ‘Bit difficult to tell with his busy schedule and the time zone issue, but, I think he’s doing alright. At least they haven’t gotten any delays thus far.’

Mrs. Mulligan turned in her chair, nodding. ‘Well let’s hope that you won’t distract him, when you join him.’ She quickly took another inhale, smiling as the realisation of her words hit me. ‘Really?!’ I sat up a bit in my chair, looking at her with widened eyes. ‘Really really. Though of course we still want to get plenty of updates. You’re one of our best reporters and..as you know..we islanders are close-knit. Even Superman can’t steal you away from us for good.’ She winked, blowing the smoke out high above her head.

I gasped quietly and I couldn’t help but laugh, the relief this news brought being just what I needed.

‘Thank you so much Mrs. Mulligan.’ I smiled.

‘You’re welcome Ali.’ She winked, then pressed her burned up cigarette down in her ash tray. Her way of saying; this meeting is over. Quickly I got up and fumbled through my jean pocket to retrieve my phone; I had to tell him! I had to tell him!

—

But I couldn’t tell him. He didn’t have reception, again. And when I tried once more later that night all I got was a quick message from him, sent from an unknown number, telling me they had some technical difficulties now they were out in the wilderness. He’d try to get a moment to call later that week, but he couldn’t promise anything. And that he missed me. Terribly.

I hated it. This. The distance. The time zones. The difficulty to reach him. The fact I couldn’t share the happy news with him. At least the good thing was that it was just one more week till I’d see him. And we’d better find a way to tackle this problem once and for all..and quickly..because with every lonely night in my bed the unease in my mind grew; like this, it simply couldn’t work. No matter how hard we both tried. If we couldn’t be together, then this relationship was doomed.

—

Once more I was standing here at the airport, looking through the arriving crowd, their suitcases rolling over the grey tiles of the hall as the cold draft made me huddle closer in my thick wool jacket. I couldn’t wait to be back in Henry’s warm embrace again, especially after being almost a month apart. It had been simply too long.

More and more people flooded the airport, loved ones embracing one another, business men back on their phones, their faces stuck in expressions of true importance. But no Henry.

*BZZZ BZZZZ*

Henry bear: Sweetheart, running a little late. Issue with my baggage.

Seeing the message on my phone, made me all the more frustrated. He was here! In this darn building! And what was up with this baggage? He really didn’t need to bring any hold luggage for just the few days he was going to be here right? Groaning in silent frustration I saw an old lady in the corner of my eye, her small blue eyes also looking over the crowd with a sense of worry. As if she couldn’t find the person she was waiting for.

Using some passersby as an excuse to move in her direction, I smiled at her, attracting her attention. ‘Picking someone up?’ I asked, finding her worried look melt in a friendly smile. ‘Hello dear. Eh..yes..my son..he was supposed to be on this flight, but I don’t see him..’ She furrowed her thin eyebrows and looked back at the sliding door, the flood of passengers slowly becoming thinner and thinner.

‘Well that makes two of us. Though I am not waiting for my son, but my boyfriend. He just texted me there’s some issues with the baggage, so maybe your son has similar problems.’ I also looked back at the sliding door, the door now sliding fully closed.

No more people coming through.

It shouldn’t have hurt so. But it did all the same. After weeks of hoping, wishing, waiting, it was all the more frustrating to have to wait even more because of something silly like an issue with the luggage. And it was especially frustrating to think that I only had so few hours with him before he had to head back again to continue shooting.

The woman turned back towards me and looked me up and down. ‘Aren’t you…’ She squinted her eyes slightly, then beamed up as recognition hit. ‘..Henry’s girl?’ I looked at her, seeing those small but warm blue eyes peering at me, her wrinkly face lined with years of many smiles and few frowns. I laughed. ‘Correct. I’m Alice. From the west side of town, work for the local newspaper.’

The woman nodded, then near jumped on her feet when the door opened and two men came strolling in. First a man who probably was her son. And then Henry. A very tired to the bone Henry, his day old beard unshaven and hair slightly disheveled. It was a silver lining that most people had long left the hall, making the odds of someone snapping a picture of him in this state just that bit smaller.

As the two men strode over towards us it became apparent that there was some mutual recognition.

‘Mrs. Penny?’ Henry blinked at the woman who was giving her son a quick but big hug. Pulling back she tilted her head slightly, taking in his disheveled look. ‘Little Henry. Look at you dear boy! All grown up! And you need a shave!’ She winked then directed at me: ‘I was his drama teacher.’

I wished to smile at her, but before I could I felt two large arms wrap around me, a head dipping down in the crook of my neck.

Henry.

Home at last.

Running my hands over his back I looked through the confines of his big embrace at the lady called Mrs. Penny, her son checking his watch as if he wasn’t quite willing to wait a moment longer. I felt Henry pull back and for the briefest of moments his lips brushed over mine.

‘Hi.’ He breathed, smiling at me warmly, albeit with great tiredness.

‘Hi bear.’ I smiled, stroking a thumb over his cheek.

Turning back towards his drama teacher Henry reached out his arms, wishing to receive a hug from her as well. She gladly accepted, snickering a bit as Henry was near twice her height and triple her weight. The tiny lady and the huge bear of a man.

‘Mom, it’s time to go. We need to get eh…’ The son licked his lip as he looked at Henry, a glint of jealousy or distaste lingering in his eyes. Thankfully his mom was quick to agree. ‘Yes yes. Time is fleeting! It is good to see you Henry and I love your work. Though gotta practise that smile talking a little.’ She tutted, pinching his cheek with some motherly affection. Henry laughed and shook his head. ‘It’s good to see you Mrs. Penny and..please..let us not hold you up.’ Henry nodded at the other man, who was practically sneering at him.

—

‘Something happened with that guy?’ I asked, driving us home in his dad’s car - anything better than my mom’s car. Henry sighed. ‘Got our bags mixed up and he just kept saying my bag was his, refusing to open it and compare the contents.’ 

He sounded so done with it all, voice low and dry, eyes peering out over the icy cold waves hitting the frosty shoreline. ‘Sounds like a pain in the ass.’ I frowned, looking at him a bit better. ‘How are you Hen?’ A question that I could easily answer myself; awful. Because he sure as hell looked awful, his whole aura dark and gloomy, perfectly fitting the weather outside.

‘Could use a nap.’ He yawned, looking back over at me and trying his best to offer me a smile, the joy not reaching his eyes.

Oh my poor bear.

‘Then let’s nap and talk later.’

‘Yea..’ He reached out a hand and squeezed the hand I kept at the gear stick. ‘I’m terribly glad to be with you again. I am. Just..tired..’s all. Sorry if I..-’ 

‘Hen..it’s okay. Relax. Close your eyes for a bit and I’ll tell you when we’ve arrived.’

‘Okay.’ He slowly nodded, immediately closing his eyes, settling more comfortably in his seat.

‘Okay.’ I whispered.

—

Running my hand through his curls, his head resting on my lap, I folded over another page of the book I was reading. We were sitting / sleeping on his parents couch, his father upstairs going about his business, his mom out for tea with a friend. The house was nice and quiet, all sound reaching my ears being Henry’s slow breathing and the buzz of the dishwasher running in the kitchen.

He looked tired even while sleeping.

Oh poor, poor bear.

It was then he shifted a little, heavy eyelids slowly blinking open and his lip curling up in a tiny smile. ‘MMmmmm…’ He hummed, nuzzling his nose in my thighs, making me giggle. ‘Hennn! Cheeky!’ He chuckled in turn, his voice deep with sleep. ‘Am I still dreaming?’ ‘No, you’re not. I’m here. And you’re home. And it’s 11.30, in case you wonder.’

He sighed deeply and nodded, shifting so he was laying flat on his back, his ocean blue eyes looking up at me. ‘Hi.’ He rumbled. ‘Hi.’ I sniffled, tracing my fingers through his curls again, massaging his scalp ever so slightly. ‘Mmm..I missed you. Your hands..’ He slowly sat up, moving his nose into my chest, sniffing a long line up into my neck. ‘..your smell.’

I giggled again. ‘Okay then Geralt.’ He smiled and sat back a little, cupping my cheek. ‘It was worth every delay, every sleepless hour, every luggage swap annoyance.’ And then he placed the first proper kiss on my lips. Soft and loving, as if testing again how I feel like. How our lips can slot together perfectly.

And what a good kisser he was. Hmm.

Humming gladly I didn’t wish the kiss to end, but he eventually did break it, chuckling softly when I leaned into him a little more. ’How are you sweet one?’ He asked, tucking a strand of hair behind my ear, looking studiously at my face. As if relearning what I looked like.

Gosh we had really been apart for too long. If anything this had to be prevented from here on at any cost. At any..

‘OH! I have news actually.’ I smiled at him, my worried face turning up with pure joy. He also started to smile. ‘Does this mean that..?’ - ‘Yes. Or well. I don’t know what you’re assuming here. But eh..yea..I received green light for my hiatus. So..’

‘AAAHH YES!’ He let out an excited cheer and quickly pulled me in for another kiss. Deeper this time. And longer. Until both of us had to pull apart for the simple fact of requiring fresh air in our lungs. He was properly beaming. ‘Oh baby..oh…so..when and..?’ He babbled, keeping my face close to his. ‘Now, right now.’ I laughed, feeling his aura lighten up, the dark storm clouds pulling away, his eyes finally starting to shine with happiness.

—

The next morning we had our usual morning walk and it almost felt like it had for all those months before he left. Albeit that there was no happy Akita trodding ahead of us - Kal was still in Canada. With gloved hands interlinked we stepped in steady rhythm, small clouds coming from our mouths as we talked and laughed into the cold morning air.

‘You better pack real warm. It’s really, really cold over there.’ He smiled, pulling me closer and kissing my cold red nose. ‘Mmpff can’t wait.’ I grumbled - hating the cold, but accepting it if that meant I could finally be with Henry. ‘Hahaha. Oh sweetheart. Now...’ He halted us before a large blue slatted house. ‘Are you ready to move in with me?’ He raised a teasing eyebrow and I poked him playfully in the ribs.

‘I thought you’d never ask.’

--

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[writingsbychlo]

heart under construction (04)

word count; 5063

summary; sam attends the welcome evening event with his family, and finally gets to see you in yrou element, which doens’t do anything to quell the growing affections he has for you.

notes; I do feature @moongoddesskiana and @dylinski​ in this part, plus a big thank you so @fan-child​ for checking this part when I was worried it was too much fluff to be acceptable.

warnings; none, but, get yourself ready for the next part.

Sam could already hear the joyous screaming from crowds of kids before the door was open, and he tugged nervously at the sleeves of the dress shirt he wore, tugging it down over his wrists and scratching at the back of his hand through his anxiety. He resisted the urge to adjust the royal blue tie that was sitting around his neck, loose and gentle on his neck, in the perfect Windsor knot that Jake had fixed for him moments ago.

Something about not allowing him to go in there with a tie that looks like Alice tied it.

Pushing the doors open, the muffled sounds of screaming kids were honed and sharpened as the happy wails drifted out into the cool air of the night from which they had arrived, and Sam felt his eyes widen as he looked at just how busy the event was as he peered into the main event hall through the glass windows on the doors as their group lingered in the lobby. There had to be over one hundred kids here, their parents all vying to get them one of the twenty spots you actually had available. 

Alice was squirming in her father’s arms, Roger lowering her to the ground as he adjusted the plastic crown sitting in her hair before making a move to dash off into the crowd, Sam diving forward in just enough time to grab her little hand, pulling her to a halt before she could disappear and get lost in a group of other Tangled-obsessed little girls. “It’s.. a lot busier than I expected it to be.”

Sam turned, swallowing thickly and nodding to his brother, his eyes scanning over the groups of people he saw milling about, and he was glad he’d settled on a suit, both Roger and Jake matching him, as well as the majority of the other men he could see. With a wide smile, a smaller lady with a sweeping green gown hanging from her shoulders made her way around the desk, a clipboard held in her hands. “You must be Mr Taylor, right?”

“Yes.”

“Huh?”

“That’s me.”

The three men all looked between each other bewildered for a second, a laugh escaping the lady in the green dress as she wiggled her fingers at Alice, the girl squealing in excitement and burying her face into Sam’s thigh shyly, but he could still hear and feel the muffled laughs she was letting out. “We’re.. um, we’re all Taylor. We’re the Taylors. Hi.” Sam rolled his eyes at himself for his awkward mumbling, reaching his hand out to the woman as she simply smiled, shaking his hand before moving along to his brother and his brother-in-law. 

“Okay, well, my name is Kiana. To the adults, anyway. I’m one of the teaching assistants, for the nursery. I have some forms I need the dads to fill out, and I have a name badge for all of you!” Jake rubbed his hands together, nodding enthusiastically as she handed over a sheet of hand-written name tags. 

“Mine has a smiley face on it.” Roger mumbled happily, the teacher, ‘Kiana’, laughing a little as she signed them in on the computer behind the desk.

“(Y/N) wrote them all. She told me to look out for you, said it would be hard to miss you guys.” Sam’s brows rose, and he absentmindedly leaned down and scooped his niece onto his arms, balancing her on his side as she toyed with the lapels on his jacket in her boredom. “She had a packet of information for you, actually.. hold on.” 

While the woman fluttered around the desk in search of the package they had been left, Sam turned to his family, his jaw barely having opened before Jake was giving him a cheeky grin, nodding his head. “We’ve got the forms. Go find your girl.”

“She’s not my girl.” He mumbled, cheeks flushing red and Roger slapped at his husband’s chest, ignoring Jake’sprotests about how he was only teasing as he let Alice slide back tot he floor, her hands gripping his as she dug her heels into the floor and tried to pull him away toward the main room. 

“Not yet she’s not. If you match your tie to her dress, she’s your girl. It's basic rules.” Jake shrugged, and Roger scoffed, rolling his eyes as Sam finally indulged the little girl and let her pull him along towards the party. 

“Your tie matches my suit?”

“Roger, we’re married.” He chuckled, his brother’s sigh being the last thing he heard before he was pulling open the main doors, the loud beats of child-friendly pop - some kind of Disney song, he was sure - taking over his mind as he looked around. Flashing disco lights danced off of the walls, ridiculous patterns to create the atmosphere for the kids as a clear dance floor was set up in the middle of the room. 

The tiles on the floor were also flashing up, some black and some lighting up white as toddlers jumped up and down and wore themselves out. On the left side of the room, tables covered with neat tablecloths lined the space, parents sitting and standing around them, socialising and getting to know one another, a small bar tucked away behind the adult section to serve them all. More tables were sitting along the right side, but on that side was activities, craft tables, games like twister and giant snakes and ladders, all kinds of things to entertain the kids.

In the middle of the room, you were standing, talking to a range of children as you falsely gasped and giggled, the group around you all looking up at you with pure joy as they shared their stories with you, little hands flying around and gesturing wildly. Alice had seemingly spotted you soon, because she tore her hand from his, moving at lightning speed across the room as she ducked and weaved through the legs of those standing around her. With a curse under his breath, Sam made attempts to follow, trying to navigate through the crowds as he watched her throw herself with force into your legs, your body rocking to the side as you gasped, looking down at her before letting a wide smile break out on your face. 

He lost sight of you for a moment as you sucked down, and when he finally cleared the groups to stand before you, he saw you holding the girl gently as her little arms wrapped around your neck, squeezing you tightly. When she realised you, she was quick to introduce herself to the crowd of infants you had been talking to, the group hitting it off instantly and you beamed at her as you rose back to your feet.

Your gaze ragged along his suit, from his toes to his chest and finally up to his eyes, your lips split in one of the biggest smiles he had ever seen you give off. “You came!”

“I promised I would. I wanted to, here I am.” Sam held his arms out, adding flair to his statement and you smiled, moving towards him and wrapping your arms around his neck, holding him tightly as his own hands moved to slide along your lower back carefully, one resting above the other as he held you close to him. Twisting his head, he nuzzled his nose into the space between your neck and your shoulder, sighing happily at the little giggle you let out, twisting in his arms as his scruff tickled your skin. “You look amazing.”

His words were muffled as he spoke them into your skin, your body shivering under his touch a little as he did, and you pulled back just far enough for him to look down at you. “What?”

“I said you look amazing.” His eyes darted up, taking in the crown that was sitting slightly off place on your head, the shiny plastic twinkling under the flashing coloured lights. “Your majesty.” With an over-dramatic flourish, he took your hand in his, pressing his lips to your knuckles and adding a wink, your laugh sounding out loudly around the two of you. 

You shook your head your eyes closing as you dipped forward, your forehead pressing to his cheek as you body still shook wit your residual giggles, and he chose instead to smooth his hand up and down your back comfortingly as he thought about just how nice it felt to have you curled into his side. “So, let’s take Alice to the craft table? I bet she’d love to make a macaroni necklace.” 

At the mere mention of it, the girl had turned back to them, her eyes wide and her smile shining as she bounced up and down excitedly, glancing around as she located her dads, walking through the main doors and holding onto a thick brown envelope, the teaching assistant from behind the desk still chatting to them as their daughter sped away to them, yelling about the pasta accessories she wanted to make.

Once Sam had laid his eyes on you, there was no way he was going to be dragged from your side. He’d started the night respectfully lingering by your side, his hand daring to come out to sit on your lower back the moment you had told him that you needed to mingle, but that he was welcome to come with you. He was astounded by the simple way in which you could flow between conversation with so many people, changing between important political chat to funny childhood stories, and the way you seemed to captivate everyone you spoke to.

He had heard almost all of these stories before, and yet, he couldn’t help but listen with avid attention every time you began a new spiel to enthral the possible parents around you. You had ended up allowing him to weave his fingers through yours when a particularly big group had begun asking him questions, and your thumb running slowly over his knuckles had grounded him enough to be able to actually enjoy the conversation. 

Now, you were leaning against his side, his arm wrapped securely around his waist as his fingertips rubbing slow circles onto your waist as you stuck to the conversation, his eyes fixed on you as he took in everything about the moment, from the way you would smile when listening to others to the way you would light up when adding a point of your own. 

As the hours had passed, the original loud and screaming hype of the kids had quieted as they settled themselves into their activities, still loud as they danced and played but no longer rowdy, the music changing to something slower as the evening progressed. He glanced away, looking over his niece as she bounced happily in Jake’s lap, and he hummed under his breath, watching as Roger dug through his pockets to find a snack for her, the three of them sitting together in their own little world. 

Turning back to you, Sam couldn't help himself from leaning forward, his nose brushing against your cheekbone as he kissed your cheek gently, the long kiss stretching out before he pressed another brief kiss to your skin, pulling back as you turned to look at him. 

“What was that for?”

“No reason.” He smiled, and you rolled your eyes fondly at him, glancing back to the group before you for a second before you leaned over him, kissing at his cheek in return and he beamed, pulling you a little closer as your side pressed up against his, your own arm coming up around his waist. “You want to dance, sweetheart?”

You merely nodded at him, and his arms slipped down to guide you onto the dancefloor, his arms circling your waist, and bringing you close to him, your eyes finding his as you shot him a sly wink while looping your arms around your waist and falling into a subtle way with him, his eyes focusing on his feet as he watched his movements. “Do you know how to dance, Sam?”

“Uh, kind of. I didn’t think that far when I asked you to dance. Shit.” He stepped forward carefully, and you giggled, your hands dropping down to adjust his grip, sliding his hands up from your waist to adjust them sitting on your back and hips, before you stepped closer, chest to chest with him, your arms tightening around his neck as his cheek rested against yours. 

“How about we just sway?”

He nodded but still felt heat rise to his cheeks as he looked down at you, humming along to the music under your breath, clutched carefully in his arms, and he swallowed thickly as thoughts about just how well you fit into his arms began to flood his mind once again, and his time, he didn’t even bother to chase them away.

Instead, he let his mind run wild.

He pictured himself at this event next year, being here by your side as your significant other and not as a relative of a possible student. He pictured driving you home at the end of the night, listening to you talk about how well it had gone before the two of you collapsed into bed beside one another and he got to hold you. 

He was thinking about how nice it would be to dance with you in other scenarios, too. He couldn’t help it. He’d seen how good you were with Alice, he could clearly picture the three of you dancing to silly pop songs in the car as you drove along. He could see the two of you jamming out as you painted the walls of a house or grinding together slowly in a dimly lit club or bar. He even let his mind wander as far as to picture that maybe the next time the two of you slow-danced together, your dress might be white and you might have a shiny ring on your finger that he’d put there.

He wasn’t quite so scared of these thoughts anymore, because no matter how hard his heart was beating in his chest, and how much the ‘fight or flight’ instinct was kicking up, he’d never felt more at home and at ease than when he was in your arms. 

You felt like home, you felt like everything he wanted and needed. 

He didn’t quite feel so hollow and lost when you were together, because suddenly it was like everything was pointing toward you, it didn’t seem blurry like you were the only thing in his world but instead, you brought everything else into focus. You made it all a little less manic and crazy, you made him understand his place in the world again. 

He wasn’t quite so scared anymore, because the fear wasn’t of being with you, but of being without you.

Pushing his face into your neck, he hid his smile from you and the world, his stubble tickling along your neck as he pressed a light kiss to your exposed shoulder, before snapping back to the present when he felt a small tugging on the leg of his suit pants. “Sammy, I wan’ dance!” 

You cooed at the girl at his feet, and he chuckled down at the girl, his arms tightening around you for a second as you giggled in his arms, squirming slightly to be released. “Go hang out with your niece, we can dance some more later if you’re up for it.”

“Promise?” You beamed at him, scoffing fondly as you nodded and he dipped his head down, pressing a wet kiss to your cheek before pulling away and holding his hands out to the little girl, her tiny hands sliding into his as he twirled her away onto the dancefloor, spinning her in little circles as he hunched over to reach her a little. He could feel her watching on as he lifted her up to balance on his toes so he could dance her around in funny movements, her loud and squealing laughter making his heart soar. 

Alice’s little hands grasped at his jacket, tugging on it as he bounced on his feet, spinning her around in circles, dipping her down and lifting her up into the air as the songs played, his heart racing and her little body shaking as she giggled loudly. He’d lost count of how many songs had played, but for once in his life, he had nowhere else to be, nowhere better to be and nobody else to be with. 

Everybody that mattered to him was right here. 

Roger and Jake were filling out forms and smiling together at the table, caught up in their own little world as they mumbled comforting words about their beautiful daughter to one another. Alice was looking nursery school in the whites of the eyes and seemed to have befriended every child in the room, and won the hearts of every adult, and Sam just knew she would be a popular and well-loved little girl. 

And you; you were chatting to random families, casting him glances every now and then as you sent him shy smiles, the kind of smiles that made his face split in a grin and his heart want to beat out of his chest. By the time Alice had worn herself - and mostly Sam - out, you were leaning against the bar, the room having emptied out a little and the yawning girl he’d been dancing with was now trailing her way over to her dads to snooze on one of their shoulders, and Sam made his way over to you as you excused yourself from the conversation you’d been having.

With a hand on either side of your waist, he supported himself on the bar, his heart racing as he panted a little, a coy smile on his lips as you chuckled at him, the girl having danced with him to so many songs that Sam felt like he’d worked a full day in the August heat. “You’re mighty touchy tonight. Almost clingy.” 

His jaw dropped, pausing in his movements to kiss at your cheek and he shot you a small glare, bumping your nose with his spitefully as he pulled back. Retracting his hands from your sides, he crossed them over his chest, putting a fake pout on his face. “Well, I was going to buy you a drink, but now I feel sorta’ insulted.”

He sighed over dramatically as you gasped, and he turned his head away from you as you slung your arms around his neck, pulling yourself as close to him as you could with his arms still folded over his chest. “No, I never said it was a bad thing!”

He continued to ignore you, your little whines only entertaining him, and his resolve toward the act was quickly being diminished as you huffed, staring at him as he glanced out at the dancefloor. 

“Stoooop ignoring me! Wasn’t it you that said you wanted to be around me? I guess I could leave again..”

Your arms started to leave him gently and he let out a low growl, his arms flying around your waist as you squealed twisting in his arms to face away from him as you busied yourself by looking at the gin selection that they had on offer. “You’re guilt-tripping me! No fair!” 

“I don’t know what you’re talking about, I’m looking at the gin.” You mumbled, and it was his turn to let out a little grumble as he rested his chin on your shoulder. 

“How about I buy you a drink, and I keep hugging you, and you never leave again, hm?”

“I think I could work with that.” You conceded, and he hummed happily, his fingers smoothing circles onto your hips as you both waited for your turn to be served. 

“So, I was thinking.”

“That sounds dangerous.” You teased, and he scoffed at your statement, rolling his eyes and pinching at your waist through your dress in retaliation for your comment.

“The house is almost done, and I was thinking, I want to furnish the house. It would look better, and I have so many ideas about how it should look now that I think I just have to decorate it myself so I know that it’s.. perfect.” He let out a little sigh as he thought about the home, and you dragged your fingers along his forearm, humming as you listened, your head twisting so you could look over your shoulder to talk to him. 

“Sounds.. good. You’re really invested in this house, huh?”

“Yeah, I mean, it’s my house! I just want it to be perfect, and you helped make it perfect so far, so I was thinking maybe you’d want to come with me to go furniture shopping?” You beamed at him, your face lighting up at the statement he nudged the tip of his nose against yours once again.

“I’d love that.”

You didn’t pull away, instead, you returned the gesture, the tip of your nose brushing his as your breath fanned across his face, and he dipped his tongue out to lick his lips, brushing against yours as he did and he was sure his heart stopped for a moment as he got the briefest taste of what it would be like to kiss you.

Sam was far too caught up in the moment and the way it felt like a second nature to hold you so tightly in his arms to pay attention to the room around him, nevermind the bartender with blue hair making her way along toward the pair of you. 

“Hi, I’m Sarah, what can I get you toni- oh, my God! Sam, hi!” 

Her customer service personality suddenly slipped away as a dazzling smile pulled on her face and she leaned her elbows on the bar, his eyes widening as he looked at the woman before him, to the woman in his arms, and back. His throat was dry, and he felt you cough awkwardly in his arms as you stood up straight, shuffling in his grasp a little as you patted on his forearm and his inner-voice was chanting ‘no, no, no, no!’ as he felt the bubble he’d so carefully crafted around the two of you threatening to pop.

“You never called me back, you look good, really good. I always told you that you’d look good if you grew your facial hair out a little more, and boy, was I right. Look at you.” She all but purred the words, his body stiffening as he licked over his lips, trying to work out what to say. “Is this your girlfriend? Did you finally settle down, the infamously popular Sam Taylor was finally won over?”

“Ye-”

“I’m running the event, my name is (Y/N).” He snapped his jaw shut, dread filling him as you shook hands with the girl on the other side of the bar.

“Oh, hey! You’re the chick that hired us! I want you to know, we were all so grateful for the overtime opportunities, and tips have been amazing, thank you so much!” You simply smiled politely, the same look that flooded his veins with anxiety as you gave her a basic response to her fawning. “What can I get you to drink?”

“You know, I actually have some parents I need to catch before they leave. Why don’t I let you two catch up?” He ducked his head to kiss your cheek, and you patted his chest, pulling away and letting him barely brush his lips to your cheek as you slipped away into the crowds, and he could scarcely acknowledge the fingers poking at his arm as he watched you go, disappearing from his sight.

“So, how’ve you been, hot stuff?”

“What?” He snapped back, looking at the woman before him as she chewed her gum, giving him a wink as she giggled, repeating her question and he swallowed thickly, putting on a polite smile. “It’s been good. I bought a house.”

“For you and that chick?” She jutted her chin out in the direction you had gone, and he glanced over his shoulder, smiling happily as he watched you greet two mothers with a son. 

“Eh, well no. The house was for me, it was a flip project, but you know..”

“You’re sorta’, kinda’, picturing the two of you spending lazy Sunday mornings in it and decorating a Christmas tree and all that lovey-dovey stuff?” She let out a wistful sigh, balancing her chin on her hands and fluttering her eyelashes as she teased him a little. 

“Worse. I’m picturing carrying her over the doorstep like it’s 1919, and little feet pattering on the kitchen tiles on rushed school mornings.” He sighed, letting out grumbles as he popped his elbow on the bar, balancing his chin on his fist as the girl before him laughed at him, moving around the bar as she grabbed a glass, tilting it under the lager pump and twisting the lever. 

“It’s nice to see. When you had that thing with me, you were seeing like three other girls and wouldn’t even give me your phone number because you were so scared of commitment. What happened there?” She grinned, and placed the beer he was so fond of down in front of him, before him as she rang up the total. 

“I don’t know. I mean, one day she’s the cute nursery-school teacher I bumped into and suddenly I can’t live without her, she makes my day brighter.” Taking a swig of his beer, he licked the froth from his upper lip and shook his head, looking out at the crown that was building around you as you answered questions for new parents. 

“That’s sweet.”

“So is she.” He mumbled, leaning against the counter and choosing to continue watching you, giving you his full attention and leaning against the bar as he had his drink. He didn’t want to interrupt you while you were in your element. Behind him, Sarah took up chatting, sucking him into conversation the second he turned back around and he found his glass draining as he listened politely to her ramblings.

He hadn't realised just how long he had been standing there, until his glass was empty, and his brother was tapping him on the arm, Alice with her head on his shoulder and she snoozed quietly, his own brother looking exhausted and he noticed just how empty the room had become.

“Man, you looked like you were having a great chat so I thought I’d give you a few more minutes but we really need to go now, Roger is practically asleep, Alice needs her bed.” Jake shrugged, and Sam’s eyes widened.

“How many minutes did you give me?”

“Uh.. like thirty, maybe?” Sam felt nausea twisting at his gut, he felt like he’d been talking to her for ten minutes perhaps, not forty-five, and his eyes flicked around the room to find you, unable to see you anywhere and he cursed under his breath. “Look, man, time to go. Come on.”

Sam sighed, nodding in agreement and taking his niece from his brother's arms as he balanced her against his chest holding her securely as his heart sunk, and he trailed after the two men before him as they gathered their things and headed for the main door. Slipping out into the cold night, he made his way across the parking lot and hushed the sleeping toddler in his arms when she stirred, dipping down to tuck her into her car seat as he tried not to wake her.

He adjusted her head to the side so that she was comfortable, making sure she was properly buckled in before rounding the car and climbing in on her other side. He could feel his brother’s gaze on him in the rearview mirror, and he purposefully ignored the gaze, until they were pulling out onto the road and Roger snickered under his breath as Sam’s cheeks heated.

“Shut up, I know, alright? I know.”

“We didn’t say anything!” Roger grinned cheekily at him, turning in his seat to face him as Sam pouted.

“Yeah! But, I thought you ‘didn’t want to settle down’ and that she ‘wasn’t your type’.” Jake pulled a voice, which Sam supposed was supposed to be an interpretation of him, but his eyebrows only furrowed as he glared at the back of his brother's head while the man continued to watch the road. 

“Well, that was before I started picturing us living in that big house together and making breakfast, or slow-dancing at our damn wedding.” Letting out a huff at the words, he bit at the inside of his cheek to stop himself from smiling as the images came flooding back to his mind once again.

His phone buzzed in his pocket, and he pulled it out, Tinder sending him notifications and his thumb hovered over the screen, instead of tapping the app to open it he held his thumb down on it, clicking the ‘X’ on the corner. Confirming the deletion of the app, it disappeared from his home screen, and Sam felt like a weight had been lifted off of his shoulders as it went.

“So, why don’t you tell her?”

“Because I got caught up at the bar for almost an hour when I was supposed to be buying her a drink, and then I left without saying goodbye. She’s probably super mad at me, again, it’s like I cannot stop fucking up and I-”

[Unknown Number] me, u, ikea, and lunch in the cafe?

“-nevermind.” He couldn't stop the smile on his face, his fingers moving swiftly over the screen as he added you to his contacts and typed out a reply. 

does sunday work for u?

He ignored Jake and Roger mumbling about him in the front seat, his cheeks aching from the smile on his face as words like ‘lovestruck’ and ‘idiot’ flew around him in the car from quiet mumbles. He adjusted himself in his seat, a hand rubbing at his jaw as he watched the three little dots on his screen dance up and down as you responded.

[cutie ❤️] it’s a date.

[leiascully]

5 Conversations Between Maggie and Mulder

By @agirlcalledNarelle - I think Maggie and Mulder had a complicated relationship. Here’s my take on a few shared moments between them….

4,7k words. Here on AO3. 

1. 1995

The Glasgow room, otherwise known as events room B, is empty and cavernous when he arrives. Sound bounces off the walls from the other early guests and is presented back to them in an awkward offering.  Helium balloons dance timidly from their weights along the outskirt of the room. Mulder slinks in like a cat and nurses a beer as he watches the room fill. He did not go to the graveyard.

Thankfully the event grows into the space, and the hum of conversation encourages more of the same. There is laughter. Recent friends wear brightly coloured outfits, paisley shirts and ethereal skirts. The family wear black, but wicked humour sparkles through their sad smiles. Scully and Maggie arrive, accompanied by a smattering of aunts, uncles, cousins. It’s strange to see Scully with a support network which excludes him. He doesn’t feel like he can approach her; he will wait for her. They make eye contact briefly, and she moves towards him before being intercepted by someone. Maggie smiles as she speaks, but he sees her glance frequently around the room for her remaining daughter as if proving to herself that she is still here, that she hasn’t lost Dana too. 

There is never enough food at events like this. Out of some misguided sense of chivalry which no one witnesses, he is late to the buffet and picks at the remaining trays. Having made small talk with some cousins from Wisconsin, he sits furtively at a table for two, hoping his vibes deter anyone from making any further effort.

‘Fox.’ He looks up, mid-room temperature shrimp half-way to his mouth, to see Maggie standing at his elbow with Scully behind her. Mulder can see foundation gathering in the creases around her eyes. Her cheeks have has sunk, no longer blooming from happy memories. Mulder stands and wipes his mouth on a napkin.

‘Mrs Scully,’ he kisses Maggie on the cheek. ‘I’m so very sorry about Melissa.’

‘Thank you.’ Her eyes are shiny pebbles from the bottom of a stream, clear and hard. Mulder gulps, his mouth dry, and wipes his hands on his napkin, frustrated he has nothing of value to offer when she suddenly speaks, low and forcefully. ‘Tell me, Fox. Was it worth it? Was what you found worth it?’

‘Come on, Mom, let’s go say hi to the Denman’s. I see them over there.’ Scully puts her hand on her mother’s arm and pushes her gently away. He watches them, relieved to avoid further interrogation, and considers making a quiet exit when Scully turns and mouths ‘don’t go.’ Damn. Suddenly no longer hungry, he pushes his plate to the opposite place setting and waits. He watches.

Scully and Maggie work the room, sometimes together, sometimes apart. They are the only members of the immediate Scully family representing Melissa to her mourners. The extended family, comprising of short women and tall men, make sure that Scully’s wine glass never fully empties. Maggie favours brandy. She remembers the names of Melissa’s childhood friends and greets her adult friends with generous hugs. Laughter abounds as family reacquaints and friends rediscover commonalities.  Each table hosts a framed photo of Melissa, and on this table, there is a photo of the Scully children in front of a big fish that Bill Junior has caught. Melissa is tall, beautiful with early-teen self-consciousness, smiling without teeth. Dana is at least 6 inches smaller, her face chubby and framed with bangs, and excitedly pointing at the fish with her two index fingers, her mouth open in a perfect ‘o’.

The sun takes polite grief with it as it sets, and the mood of the room shifts towards a more frantic, unrestrained celebration. Ties are loosened, music starts to play, and voices grow louder as the guests realise their hours for remembering Melissa together will soon draw to a close. Scully sits opposite him, pushing aside the remaining plate of food. Her eyes are glassy, her cheeks pink. A tissue peeks out of her cardigan sleeve, and her mascara is slightly smudged under her left eye. She smiles languidly and rests her chin in her hand. They hear Maggie laugh across the room with the cousins from Wisconsin. They are both taller than her, and one wraps her into a bear hug. She has the effusiveness of a dinner party host, eager to inform everyone where the food is and to help themselves to drinks. In the gap between conversation, Mulder sees Maggie staring into the middle distance, steeling herself to share the next anecdote.

‘I don’t know how she does it,’ Mulder remarks.

‘This is the fun part,’ Scully says, her s’s slightly stretched. ‘Remembering Missy with all her favourite people. And some of her not-so-favourite people.’ They watch Maggie take another brandy from the waitress. ‘She’ll crash later once we’re in the cab. I’m staying with her tonight.’

‘Can I take you both home?’ Mulder asks, suddenly wanting to do at least this for Scully and her mother.

‘Thank you, but that’s not necessary, Mulder.’

‘Please, I’d like to.

Scully appraises him, draining her wine. ‘She’s not herself today, you know. Don’t give it another thought.’

No apology, Mulder notes.

‘I know. She was right to ask. She has the right to ask, I mean. She should ask.’

‘She does. She should.’ Scully gazes lovingly at her mom, eyes misting with tears before someone else catches her eye, causing her to giggle into her hand like a schoolgirl. ‘Oh no. Missy would be devastated to know that Sam Charleston is here. She had the biggest crush on him when she started her first job, and he kept her well and truly in the friend zone.’

‘Go say hi. Go mingle.’

She leans on her knuckles to steady herself as she stands. ‘If that offer is still open…. That would be nice. We would love a lift back.’

‘Of course.’

‘Oh, and Mulder,’ she says as she starts to totter away. ‘We’re Irish. This is going to be a late one.’

‘I’ll be here.’

2. 1997

Mulder wakes to the shadow of someone standing over him. Blinking, his back burns as he sits up in his plastic chair.

‘Go home, Fox,’ Maggie says. ‘You should get some rest. In a proper bed.’

Her eyes are bright, too wide, like a child who has eaten all their Halloween candy in one sitting, twitchy and hyper. The hall is quiet, the bustle of the day replaced with a cloak of calm inevitability as some patients gather their strength for another day, and some succumb to the everlasting sleep which floats through these rooms like a genie, offering to grant the most desperate wishes.

‘Uh, I can’t seem to leave.’ He rubs his neck. ‘Is Scully ok?’

‘She’s just fallen asleep.’ Maggie sits beside him. She rubs her hands over her face and reaches for his hand. It’s an intimate move, but a hospital at 3am is an intimate, almost holy place and those who witness it are bound by their understanding of this. He covers her hand with his, a silent gesture of solidarity.

Maggie, Bill and Mulder haven’t slept properly in days; Scully sleeps too much for all of them. She can’t smell, can’t taste, doesn’t eat. Her headaches are sudden and vicious, the only respite being ever-stronger painkillers and sleep. Suddenly her teeth start to grind. She loses track of conversation, eyes, fingers and face all clenched, and Mulder presses her painkiller button in frustration that this is all he can do. All the road signs are pointing towards morphine. No one mentions it explicitly, knowing it will likely be the last landmark for Scully.

‘Where’s Bill?’

‘He’s gone back. To pick up some clothes, pick up my copy of Little Women for Dana.’ Maggie rests her head against the wall and closes her eyes. ‘When she’s awake I’m worried that she’s not getting enough rest, and when she’s asleep I just want to wake her. It’s like she’s 2 weeks old all over again.’

Mulder stays quiet.

‘She’s stopped arguing with me, have you noticed? She doesn’t have the energy. I just want to see her eyes flash at me again, I want that ‘here we go again’ feeling one more time. I’m trying to remember the last time we did that. I’m trying to remember.’

‘Mrs Scully, you can’t give up hope, not yet.’ Mulder teeters of the edge of acceptance but hasn’t fallen into that hole just yet: its depth is too deep, too dark, and he’s not sure he would recognise the man who comes out the other side. He needs his anger to stay on track for Scully, to keep going, and more importantly in this moment now, to stay awake.

‘Fox, I haven’t given up hope, far from it,’ Maggie’s voice is tired and resigned. ‘But you can’t deny what we’re seeing. We can’t expect things from Dana that she can’t give us. Then it’s not fair on her.’

Mulder feels this new perspective like a splash of cold water on his face. He hadn’t considered the impact of his unending fight on Scully. Did she feel like she had to perform for him? Did she gather her strength every time he entered the room to protect him from what was happening, to allow him his little charade? Does the energy needed for his visits mean more frequent headaches, more pain? His shoulders slump further as more guilt settles across them.

Maggie’s head suddenly brushes his shoulder, and she looks up in surprise, blinking. A microsleep.

‘Mrs Scully, you should take your own advice.’ He squeezes her hand where it still rests in his. ‘Get some proper rest.’

Maggie shakes her head. ‘There’s the meeting with Dana’s doctor first thing. And then the Priest is stopping by.’

The meeting is to learn the consultant recommendation after examining the chip that Mulder had offered him like frankincense. They had scanned it, taken photos, made notes, but the chip itself remained in Mulder’s pocket at his insistence.

‘I hope you know I respect the work of the priest.’ Mulder clears his throat, not sure of his next words. ‘I’m not exactly what you’d call a good disciple, but I’m willing to try anything at this point. And I know what it means to Dana.’

‘I won’t lie, I don’t like the idea of this chip, Fox. But you’ve earned the right to an opinion here. And anyway, Dana will do what she thinks is best: she won’t have anyone else make this choice for her.’

‘I know. I just wanted you to know that … I just want to make sure we’ve tried everything.’

Maggie stands and puts a hand to his cheek, her hand soft against his stubble. It’s a move he’s done to Scully before, but he had underestimated how much comfort it brings. He wants to nuzzle into her hand, to close his eyes and rest in the warmth.

‘I know you love her, Fox. You love her as she deserves to be loved. I do wish you might show it with roses instead of computer chips,’ she smiles ruefully. ‘But there aren’t words to convey how grateful I’ve been to see your love for my daughter over these past few weeks.’

He watches her go back into Scully’s dark room. They both wait, in different rooms, for the sun to rise on the day when Scully’s holy trinity of faith, family and work will entwine around her like the roots of a tree in a final attempt to nourish her back to health.

3. 1998

It is still dark when they pull up outside the house, but someone has clocked their arrival and the front door flings open. Maggie waves, wrapping her cardigan around her, and gestures inwards.

‘You have to come in now, you realise,’ Scully says as she unbuckles her belt.

‘Oh, no, Scully, I don’t want to do that. You be with your family. It’s 6:30am.’

‘Come on, you’ll offend her. You don’t want to offend my mother on Christmas morning, do you Mulder?’ Scully teases. ‘Or do you? Is that what you want?’

He sighs and walks with her towards the house. Modest fairy lights twinkle on the porch, and the Christmas tree glows from the front window. Mulder can see tasteful, coordinated ornaments and the outline of people in the front room. Already the Scully Christmas is in stark contrast to Christmas at his mother’s house: a quiet affair with two lonely presents under a tree that never seems to stand straight, decorated with all Fox and Samantha’s homemade decorations from over the years. A roast chicken that would invariably burn as Teena became engrossed in a Christmas movie and Mulder slept on the couch. They would end the day with a quiet game of Scrabble. He feels a protective pang in his chest: it’s not much of a Christmas, but it’s their Christmas. Teena is never outwardly demonstrative, but he knows he is loved. She has saved all his crafts, every homemade Mother’s Day and Christmas card. I’ll call her later, he promises to himself as he walks to the porch, swallowing the bitter taste of treachery as he crosses another mother’s threshold on Christmas morning.

‘Come in, come in! Merry Christmas!’ Maggie exclaims as they stamp the snow from their shoes. They are her first gifts of the day as she unwraps their coats and scarves. ‘Fox, what an unexpected surprise.’

‘Uh, Scully’s car didn’t start, so I gave her a lift,’ he said lamely, hoping the explanation doesn’t lead to more questions.

‘Well, you can at least stay for breakfast.’ She stands on tiptoes to kiss his cheek. He is uncomfortable, unused to meeting Maggie outside of a crisis. He doesn’t have anything to offer her, not even a Christmas card, and he almost regrets offering Scully a lift this morning. He had been high on infatuation, waking after their late-night ghost hunt to find Scully snuffling under the covers next to him like a grumpy guinea pig, her scruffy red hair poking out from under the covers.

‘Thank you, Mrs Scully, that would be great. I’m sorry I didn’t bring anything.’

‘Please, Fox, it’s a last-minute invite. It’s enough that you’re here.’ Mulder smiles, and sends a thought remembering his mother at the Vineyard on her own. It might be called a prayer, if he was a man of any sort of religious faith.

‘Sorry we’re late, Mom.’

‘Don’t be silly, Dana, I don’t know why we have to meet at such an ungodly time anyway.’ She ushers them into the living room. Bill sits in front of the tree wearing a Santa hat, his son perched in his lap lifting and shaking any gift in his proximity. Scully hugs her sister-in-law affectionately, and Mulder notes that something has thawed between them since San Diego.

‘What’s he doing here?’ Bill asks in surprise, quickly removing his Santa hat.

‘Hush now, Bill,’ Maggie says easily, entering with a tray of mugs and a cafetière full of coffee. ‘It’s too early to be so contrary.’

‘I just think it’s odd that her work colleague is in our living room at 6:30am.‘

‘Bill, please. Fox is Dana’s partner, and they get to decide the context of that. Not us.’

Mulder glances at Scully. He’s not sure what Maggie has just insinuated, or what Scully has been saying to make Maggie to make her think that way. They’re still walking this path cautiously, and yet Mulder feels like Maggie has just confirmed something fundamental that neither had fully acknowledged yet.  Scully reflects his surprise, raising an eyebrow before looking back at her brother.

‘Admit it, Bill,’ Scully says, ‘you’re just embarrassed that Mulder’s seen you in your jimmy jams.’

There is a pause in the room before Bill spreads his hands and laughs.

‘Guilty. Grab a seat, Mulder, let’s see if there’s a lump of coal under here somewhere for you.’ Scully squeezes his arm in solidarity. Mulder sees the steel under Bill’s smile and nods, accepting the tentative olive branch.

‘Excellent.’ Maggie sits beside the tree and pulls Matthew onto her lap, who desperately reaches towards the tree. ‘My grandson has been patient enough. Now that we’re all here, and caffeinated, how about we open some presents?’

4. 2001

Mulder stares through the nursery glass at the eight babies wriggling in their little beds. It’s like a very small and very strange zoo exhibition. I’m sorry guys, he thinks, visiting hours have just started for you. His baby is back row left, wearing a blue hat and sleeping with his mouth slightly open, oblivious to all the motion and emotion surrounding him.

Scully needed stitches. The doctors were not happy with her delivery in general, and Mulder felt them glance suspiciously in his direction when he wasn’t looking. They had also given Scully a sedative: she had been shaking with shock and exhaustion, having had no sleep during the 16 hours since the delivery. In the helicopter she had gripped her son with a haunted look in her eyes, only reluctantly handing him to the nurse when the desire to have him checked over outweighed her instinct to hold tight. Go with him, she’d begged, the force of his hand squashing his fingers, don’t leave him alone. Make sure he’s ok. Please, Mulder. He’d wanted to stay until she slept, but his continued presence only made her more anxious. He had left her, weak and weepy with her legs in stirrups, as exposed and vulnerable as a person could find themselves. The nurse had offered to bring the baby to Mulder to hold, but without Scully it feels like a betrayal somehow. He is satisfied just peering through the window, admiring his perfect lips and nose.

‘Fox,’ he turns to see Maggie standing at his shoulder. Her face is tight, her clenched teeth barely restraining her anger. His stomach drops as he feels himself ride over the crest of a rollercoaster.

‘Mrs Scully. Did you just arrive?’

‘I tried to visit Dana but they said she’s sleeping.’ Maggie has yet to put her overnight bag down, her knuckles white as she grips the handles. ‘Do you mind telling me what happened? How my daughter got to Georgia?’

‘Scully, uh, she was in danger and so we thought it safest if she left DC.’ Maggie purses her lips. Mulder’s palms are sweaty. What had made perfect sense at the time was now sounding reckless and stupid.

‘I see. And why Georgia?’

‘We needed somewhere unexpected, somewhere that no one would know.’

‘How exactly did she get here?’

‘One of her colleagues drove her. Special Agent Reyes, you may have met her, she’s been working with Scully for the last, well really for the last 6 months now.’ Mulder felt with each answer Maggie was coiling tighter and tighter, preparing to strike.  ‘Scully likes her, trusts her, so it seemed like the best choice.’

‘I see. Where were you?’

‘I was trying to make sure that the people who were trying to get Scully didn’t. Couldn’t.

‘And did you succeed?’

‘No, no I didn’t. But they didn’t get her, thank god.’

‘You didn’t succeed,’ Maggie says, shaking her head slowly. ‘You sent my little girl to some abandoned town in the middle of nowhere, with no electricity, running water, or even any antibacterial spray, to give birth on her own with only a colleague she’s known for 6 months for support. Is any of this inaccurate?’

‘No, it’s not.’ Mulder’s voice is quiet in contrast to Maggie’s increasing volume.

‘Do you mind telling me what on earth you were thinking?’ Maggie finally shouts, throwing her jacket at him. He catches it clumsily. ‘How could you do this, Fox? In what possible way was this the best solution?’

The tiredness, anxiety and fear which Mulder had been suppressing for the last 72 hours bursts forth, and he is suddenly possessed by rage.

‘Excuse me, Maggie, can I call you Maggie? I think it’s about time, don’t you?’ His voice is quiet but violent. Maggie blinks in surprise and takes a step back. ‘This is my son we’re talking about here. My –‘ he falters as he thinks of Scully in the third room down the corridor, sleeping while her injuries are stitched. His chest hurts with the ferocity of his love for her. ‘This is my whole world. I didn’t just send them away for a jaunt down South. It wasn’t for the fun of it. If we hadn’t have sent them away, in all likelihood we wouldn’t have either of them right now.’

Maggie presses her fingers to her lips as tears slide down her cheeks. Mulder immediately hates himself for shouting at her, she who has already lost so much as a result of Scully’s dogged insistence to stay by his side. He too blinks away tears as he realises what is about to happen next: Scully isn’t going to see her mother meet her grandchild, Scully’s miracle son. She will miss their introduction.

‘I daresay you’re right,’ Maggie mutters. ‘Everything you’ve said matches what Mr Skinner told me. I know you had no choice. But, my god Fox, another phone call, another panicked rush to a hospital, this time in Georgia. I don’t know how many more times I can do this.’

‘I know, Mrs Scully,’ Mulder rubs her shoulder tentatively, taking her bag from her.

‘Please, you’re right, you should call me Maggie,’ she huffs, wiping her eyes. ‘I know you did what you thought was best. But I can’t pretend I understand or agree with it. I think I have to ask you for a little more time before we’re in the same room together.’

Mulder nods. ‘I understand, Maggie. I want to check on Scully anyway, make sure she’s ok. Before I go, let me show you your grandson. There he is: he’s the champ in the top left. See him?’

Mulder sees her face soften, and she places her fingers lightly on the glass window, drinking in every detail of the baby.

‘Oh Fox…’, she murmurs, ‘he’s beautiful. Look at him. He looks like you, you know.’

‘You think?’

‘That bottom lip, there’s no doubt.’ She sighs. ‘He’s wonderful.’

‘Do you want to hold him?’

‘Can I? Have you?’

‘No… no. I’m going to wait for Scully… But you really should. You know how angry she’ll be if she wakes up to learn that neither of us held him this whole time. She would want you to.’

Maggie nods. Without speaking, without eye contact, she holds his hand briefly in thanks. Mulder recognises her resolve; he knows Maggie is happier now she has something practical to focus on. Her face betrays her excitement as she flags down a nurse. He carries her bag with him and opens the third door down the corridor where he is greeted by Scully’s pale face, her anxiety having vanished in sleep.

5. 2005

Mulder hears the gravel crunch under the car as Scully pulls up into the drive. He turns on the grill but stubbornly keeps his back turned as Scully and her mother enter the house. This is Maggie’s first visit to their unremarkable house, their little haven. For the last six months, Scully has met her in the city, at neutral settings or at Maggie’s place. They told each other it was for safety, that it was better for both Mulder and Maggie that they didn’t put Maggie in a position of consorting with a fugitive, but they both knew the truth: they were scared of what Maggie might say. Of how she might react to seeing Mulder again, after so many years on the run.

Scully arrived home from her first meeting with Maggie with red eyes and a stuffy nose.

How was it? Mulder had asked.

It was great. Amazing. It was so good to see her again. Her replies were short, and Mulder heard her unspoken words. They had gone to bed without speaking any further that night.

After six months, Maggie had finally asked to see where Dana and her outlaw partner were living. A Fourth of July barbeque seemed like a good occasion, the external focus distracting from any tension. Scully bought fireworks and s’mores ingredients; Mulder built a bonfire ready for the evening.

He hears footsteps on the deck and turns to see Maggie. They study each other quietly: her white hair, wrists tightly covered by crepe-paper skin, his lined face and wider jaw. He’s been waiting for this moment since Scully floated the idea with him. Now it had arrived, he realised how many lost years sat between them. Maggie stands a metre away, but the distance is a metal spring that stretches wider and wider and wider.

‘Hello Fox,’ she says, and her voice takes him back to hospitals, to phone calls, to missing people and conversations haunted by death.

‘Hi Maggie.’ He doesn’t move, and neither does she. He wants to tell her he’s sorry, but he doesn’t want to accept sole responsibility. He wants to ask for forgiveness, but he isn’t afraid of defending his choices. He wants to ask how she’s been, what their absence felt like for her, but surely the hole they left in her life is too great for him to think about patching up now. Behind him, the barbeque hisses as the fat drips from the meat.

‘Dana tells me you built this deck.’

‘I did, yes. It was my first project when we moved in. Where is Scully?’

‘She’s getting the potato salad ready.’ Mulder looks towards the house and cringes inwardly when he sees no sign of her. ‘It’s lovely out here.’

‘It is.’ Suddenly he’s sick of this dance. ‘Maggie, I want you to know –‘

‘Fox, I think we’ve had enough.’ Her assertiveness catches him unawares and he stops. ‘Don’t you agree? Enough anger, enough apologies, enough guilt.’

He nods cautiously.

‘What did Scully say about our time away?’ He asks. Maggie sighs and looks at her hands.

‘She didn’t say a lot. She mentioned motels, some kitchen work. You know how she is. She stopped talking before she got in over her head.’

‘Are you…. Mad?’

‘Oh, I’ve been mad alright. Father McCue can attest to that.’ Mulder turns back to the meat, and Maggie stands beside him. She looks so like her daughter out of the corner of his eye; there’s a familiarity between Mulder and Maggie that he’d forgotten about. All the fear they’ve shared together sits within a current of energy between them. ‘But I don’t want to be mad anymore.’

The spring suddenly snaps back into shape.

‘That’s good to hear,’ Mulder turns the meat. ‘I was afraid I was going to get my ass kicked.’

Maggie chuckles and Mulder suddenly sees that their bonfire, fireworks and s’mores will be genuinely delightful.

‘Just stay, though, please?’ She asks tentatively. He realises that their détente is quick but delicate, in need of nurture. ‘Stay here. Let me visit occasionally. Maybe there’s a room that I might one day come to think of as being mine. Just let me see you both.’

‘Maggie… Of course we will. You’re welcome here any time. At any time.’

‘What are you two talking about?’ They both turn to see Scully approaching with a tray of salad and iced tea. Her small smile is cautious and there’s apprehension in her eyes.

‘I was just about to ask Fox why the deck slants to the left.’ Maggie takes the tray from Scully and kisses her cheek.

‘Maggie, I’ll have you know this is excellent craftsmanship. It slants so the water can drain off effectively.’ They sit at the table together, with Scully looking from her mother and her partner. Her face glows in a way he hasn’t seen for years, and he squeezes her hand under the table. He is pleased to have brought her back, happy to have given her a home. She is starting to thrive. She looks at him, her eyes shiny with tears.

‘Look at me, I’m being ridiculous,’ she laughs, wiping her eyes.  ‘I’m just so glad we’re all here together.’

[saikostories]

MHA - Dreamless Nightmare pt2

“No way,” Denki sputtered as he wheezed, choking on his own laughter while mindlessly hitting Kirishima on the back.

“Dude there’s- There’s no way!”

His pure hysterical joy was infectious and the rest of the class couldn’t help the slight chuckles and amused smiles that came with the sight before them.

“I- Don’t make fun of him, it’s a very manly thing to be scared of! Kinda?” Kirishima tried and failed to stay serious as he too fell victim to the explosive laughs that accidentally ended up covering Sero in a flurry of spit.

“This isn’t real! This can’t be-” Mina fell off the couch in a mess of breathless giggles that had Momo and Jirou needing to harden their resolve in attempting to suppress their own bottled up laughter.

Tsuyu was hiding her face in her hands, avoiding the scene in futile attempts to not laugh at a classmate.

Even Todoroki and Tokoyami, two of the most stone-faced students, were chuckling under their breath.

Bakugo was sitting in a backyard.

The grass was beautifully kept and the picket fence in the background was freshly painted a clean white that dazzled under the sun and, under any other circumstance, would’ve been blinding if not for the anger that drew everyone’s attention to the centre of the yard.

Kacchan sat in a chair that was five times too small, arms crossed with sheer rage making his eyes twitch as a sparkly blue cone-shaped party hat looked out of place on his head.

Toddlers sat scattered around him gathered about a present covered table, drooling as they laughed and babbled things none of them could hear.

There weren’t any adults in sight, and it almost looked as if Bakugo was in charge of the kids which made the ridiculous set-up even more hilarious.

Izuku hid a smile while Uraraka was turning red with the amount of effort she gave while trying to hold in her laughter.

Kacchan suddenly yelled something at the window that fell on deaf ears and one kid started crying sending the whole class into a wild frenzy of laughter.

At this point even All Might was laughing at the odd spectacle.

Holding up his hand to silence his students he pressed the button as everyone hopelessly tried stifling their amusement.

Instantly they were met with the incoherent sounds of children rambling and light hearted giggling, the one kid who started crying had stopped and was now using a crayon to colour on Bakugo’s shirt.

All Might cleared his throat as the class shushed the remaining few who were still laughing, “Young Bakugo?” His voice wavered and everyone could hear the undertones of struggle as their own teacher was giving it his all not to laugh, “Is there a problem?”

It was as if a timer went off and with a twitch of his eye Bakugo blew up, throwing the birthday hat on the ground with so much force that the thing dented as he stood up physically smoking with anger.

The poor kid who was innocently doodling on his shirt was knocked backwards with the sheer intensity of the sudden movement and sent to the ground a sprawling mess as Bakugo exploded.

“FUCK YEAH THERE’S A FUCKING PROBLEM!” He screamed, his entire face a fuming mass of pure anger.

“The damn machine is fucking broken! I’m not scared of this shit!”

“Who the hell would be scared of these snot nosed shitty brats!” Kacchan snarled as the kids, like a domino effect, all started wailing and sobbing at the top of their lungs.

“Shit! They’re so fucking loud!” He shouted while covering his ears in futile attempts to distance himself from the onslaught of children’s cries.

Izuku grinned, a distant feeling of nostalgia bloomed at the sight, “Kacchan never does change does he?” He unknowingly said out loud and Bakugo exploded yet again.

“What the hell did you say Deku!? I heard that you shit!” He screamed as his hands popped with loud mini explosions that seemed to terrify the kids more.

“You think this is funny don’t you! You all think this is funny!”

“Now Bakugo my boy,” All Might interrupted, knowing that if he didn’t cut them off then an obvious fight would break out, “The program hasn’t made any mistakes yet and I doubt it has this time.”

Kacchan clicked his tongue ready to argue why that was pure bullshit, but before he could All Might hastily continued, “Being scared of something doesn’t necessarily mean you’re terrified. Having a fear can also be something that you would never want to experience, and in this case the thing you don’t want to experience is dealing with toddlers.”

Bakugo seemed to accept All Might’s explanation like a punch in the face as he begrudgingly pulled up his miniature chair and sat back down.

The kids had settled down by now, most of them sniffling loudly while going back to the activities they were before his episode.

The only one who hadn’t was the kid from before, who sat on the grass sobbing quietly with a broken green crayon in his hands.

It was clear to everyone that Bakugo didn’t know what the hell to do. He looked like a fish out of water with the awkward way he sat and his gaze that shifted between each kid like they were some kind of foreign entity.

Izuku knew what would happen next, Kacchan wasn’t good with children, or anyone for that matter. He didn’t have the gentle personality or patience that was needed to handle them and when Kacchan didn’t know what to do he got defensive.

And well.. When he got defensive.

People get hurt, usually unintentionally but still.

He knew Kacchan wouldn’t hurt the kids outright but..

A frown formed on Midoriya’s face as his eyebrows furrowed. There was no way he’d be caring and comfort them, or even try playing with them, he was way too prideful for that.

That meant he’d have to do something to get them to like him?

Anything a normal child would do was immediately out of the question. Even talking wouldn’t work because Kacchan would just end up cursing the kids out and scaring them further.

Maybe entertaining them?

But his quirk wasn’t the safest, or the most child friendly.

It would’ve been helpful if he could attach his explosions onto things and make them blow up, but he could only cause current explosions.

Unless..

Suddenly Izuku had an idea, there wasn’t a one hundred percent guarantee that Kacchan could do it, but it was the best option he had!

Wait.

His face suddenly fell flat as he was struck in the head with a sudden reality.

The only problem was, Kacchan would never agree if it was him to suggest it..

Uraraka gave Deku a side glance, quietly watching the way his face would suddenly go from confused thought, to wide-eyed excitement as he realised something, then to stupefied frustration as whatever it was he realised came with some sort of catch.

“Hey Deku,” she whispered nudging him with her elbow breaking his concentration and causing him to look at her like a deer caught in headlights.

“Ah, sorry was I mumbling again?”

“No you’re fine, you realised something didn’t you?”

Izuku nodded, a concerned look in his eyes as he gave a half smile, “I think so, but Kacchan wouldn’t listen to me.”

He laughed awkwardly and scratched the back of his head as he suppressed the urge to suddenly yawn.

All this thinking was wearing him out.

“Then how about you ask someone who he would listen to?” Iida jumped in and Izuku felt a little bad at momentarily forgetting he was there.

In his defence, he was forgetting a lot of things today, like how simple and obvious Tenya’s idea was.

It was such a basic conclusion that Midoriya was a little ashamed he didn’t think of it sooner.

“Yeah! I think that’ll work!” He thanked Iida and quickly turned around to the Bakugo couch.

He quietly waved over Kirishima, trying to catch the redhead’s attention as Eijiro paused to gesture to where Kacchan furiously sat.

Their eyes met and Izuku gave him a pleasant smile, but Kirishima seemed to think he was just saying a hello and waved back before turning to Kaminari and continuing their conversation.

His hand was still mid-air and he cringed so hard that he suddenly didn’t feel tired anymore as he facepalmed while subconsciously wishing he could go back to the five seconds when he didn’t do something that awkward.

‘I don’t know how much more embarrassment I can take today,’ Izuku muttered to himself without much thought as he mentally tallied up all the awful moments that would haunt him for eternity.

“Hey Midoriya dude? You okay? You wanted to see me right?” Kirishima’s voice dragged him from of his little moment of internal death and he looked up confused.

Todoroki sat in the background giving a thumbs up with his expressionless face and Midoriya gave a silent thanks to his friend while internally promising to take him to eat soba once the lesson was over.

“Oh, yeah, okay I have an idea to help Kacchan,” He said, all embarrassment gone as he stood up ready to plan.

“So, he doesn’t really like me very much-”

“That’s an understatement.”

“Sero! You can’t just say that!”

“Well it’s not like it isn’t true.”

“-He doesn’t like me very much,” Izuku reiterated, ignoring the side conversation that started up.

“But he’s friends with you so he’ll at least consider what you have to say versus completely ignoring or doing the opposite of what I’d suggest.”

Kirishima nodded his head along, “Okay I get it, you want me to tell him what you want to, I’ll be like your carrying pigeon!”

Izuku shook his head before pausing to think and giving him a nod, “Well yes, but I was also wondering if you could give him tips about kids? I do have a plan, but maybe you’d be able to convince him so we won’t need it?”

It was a hopeless idea, but hey if anyone could get Kacchan to bottle up his pride it was Kirishima so it was worth a shot?

The mere idea of suggesting kid-like things to Bakugo was immediately shot down as Eijiro deadpanned, a look of dumb helpless confusion practically emitting from him, “I don’t know anything about kids?”

“Wait what do you mean? Don’t you have a bunch of siblings?” Izuku cocked his head, he could have sworn that Kirishima came from a big family?

“Well yeah, but I lived with them, I don’t know how to play with any random kid?”

“Okay okay, so just I guess,” Izuku felt like he was all scrambled up and at a loss, “Alright let’s just go with your carrying pigeon idea, I’ll write down what to say and you can just tell Kacchan?”

Kirishima pumped his fist in the air with a big grin showcasing his sharp teeth, “All right! Let’s help Bakubro!” He laughed jokingly as Kacchan simultaneously pushed a kid away so violently that the poor girl fell over like a tumbleweed.

Quickly Midoriya got Momo to make a sheet of paper and he scribbled so fast that you could practically see a thin line of smoke trailing off the pencil.

“Iida could you hold down the microphone?” He asked after finishing his plans, “I don’t want to accidentally slip up.”

Tenya jumped up with a happy smile at being asked to help again and bounded over, awaiting further instructions.

“Okay Kirishima?”

“Yup I’m ready!”

“I’ll hold the notebook up so you can see it, Iida thanks for your help, you can start now.”

The class watched, anticipating how quickly things would go sour. The same students who made bets on All Might’s fear started a new round with how long it would take him to figure out that it was Deku’s idea and not Kirishima’s.

Jirou personally thought he’d be too dense to ever realise.

All Might had a grin as he watched from the sidelines, he knew this wasn’t the most action packed exercise or even the most interesting lesson, but it made him proud to see his students overcoming these problems even if it wasn’t something like fighting a villian or saving the world.

“Ah-” Kirishima cleared his throat, catching Kacchan’s attention as his head snapped up, “Hey Bakugo, how’re you doing?” He said lamely and they could hear Kaminari choke as he tried not to laugh at how awful that intro was.

“Fucking fine, what does it look like!?” Kacchan glared at the window where he thought Kirishima was and Izuku mentally sighed again.

“Now what do you want I’m busy!?”

'Busy at not knowing what to do,’ Izuku thought thinking of the ten minutes spent watching Kacchan just sit awkwardly.

“Yeah sorry, okay look I’ve got a plan-”

Bakugo interrupted with a suspicious tilt of his head as one of his eyebrows raised in disbelief.

“You? You have a plan?” He asked with heavy sarcasm weighing down his words.

“Yeah I can come up with plans too you know!”

Kirishima huffed with so much authority that Bakugo actually looked as if he believed it, even some of their classmates had to remind themselves that Eijiro was only pretending.

Izuku couldn’t help the small smile from pulling up the corners of his mouth in excitement, this was actually going to work!

“Okay Shitty Hair let’s hear it.”

“Hey my hair’s not-!”

“I said let’s fucking hear it!”

“Okay okay, so you’ve gotta entertain the kids right?”

“I don’t fucking know you tell me!?”

Kirishima ignored him and continued, squinting at the jumbled up words that Midoriya was holding up.

“So how about you.. Er.. Blow stuff up for them?”

Izuku hastily shook his head at Eijiro’s attempt at paraphrasing and pointed at a crudely drawn diagram with wide eyes as he wordlessly mouthed something that Kirishima couldn’t exactly understand.

“Wait wait! No that’s not what I meant! Uhh- Okay, no you have to blow up, Wait? Dude is that a tree?”

Izuku sighed in defeat as the class broke their momentary vow of silence and laughed at Kirishima’s amazing acting.

“Hey dumbass?” Kacchan asked with a seriousness that chilled the entire room silencing the exchange of bets that went on in the back.

Kirishima looked as if he were a kid caught with his hand in a cookie jar as he nervously cleared his voice, “Yeah? Bakugo buddy?” He asked, his voice cracking slightly giving away the obvious guilt of lying.

“You wanna tell me your plan again?” Kacchan put all emphasis on, 'your,’ and any thought that maybe they’d get away with it was completely and utterly blown to bits.

“Uh yeah, it’s umm, well it’s actually for Deku to tell his plan!”

And with that Kirishima backed off as he gave an apologetic smile to the helpless Izuku whom he just threw into the lion’s den.

He admitted it wasn’t exactly the most manly thing to do so before he went back to his seat he gave a heavy sigh, “Look Bakugo, I know you don’t like him, but at least hear him out, it’s a good plan.”

“Put the fucking nerd on.”

Kirishima frowned and tried his best to say sorry as quietly as he could before walking back to the couch to watch this train wreck unfold.

“I can hear you Kacchan,” Izuku said, his voice unwavering.

“I want it known that I didn’t fucking ask for your help, I don’t need your help. I never have. Never will.”

Midoriya held back a sigh and took that as his willingness to listen.

“Okay look, you’ve got to entertain these kids but your quirk is way too loud for them- It’ll just end up scaring them and making your situation ten times worse.”

Kacchan grunted in agreement but remained quiet.

“But kids love explosions, like fireworks, they love the destruction and you can use that. Find something small like an acorn or stick, it doesn’t matter as long as you can make it disintegrate with your quirk.”

“Coat it in your palm’s nitroglycerin and flick the object in the air as hard as you can, you’ve got to be careful and make sure you send it flying with a lot of force so it won’t blow up in your face. The speed should delay the explosion just enough to have it explode in a distance that won’t scare the kids.”

Izuku finished quickly, he’d said everything so fast that it left him breathless and dizzy.

Everyone was silent for a moment, the only sounds were the chattering of the children as they ran around the table blissfully unaware of the discussion at hand.

The tension was unbearable and the entire atmosphere held it’s breath for what Bakugo was going to say next.

Seconds ticked by until Kacchan’s frown grew more defined and he let out an angry sigh.

“I’ll do it.”

“But not because you fucking suggested it, it’s because I don’t have anything better to do.” He growled as he stood up and stretched his legs.

Izuku had an unbelievably happy grin plastered to his face, Kacchan didn’t shut him down immediately, in fact he listened to him!

He felt a proud feeling take root in his chest, his standing with Kacchan had clearly improved. He’d never be close enough to be actual friends, but this was at least a step forward in that direction.

Both him and Iida returned to the floor as they watched Bakugo eye the sobbing kid’s broken crayon.

Within seconds Kacchan snatched it away making the kid cry even more with the aggressiveness of his action, but Bakugo paid him no attention.

Holding the crayon tightly he eyed the window with a glare and mouthed something they couldn’t hear. Though with the way his mouth moved it almost looked like he said his name..

'He’s probably threatening me again,’ Izuku thought as he watched Kacchan throw the pieces into the air. As soon as they left his hand the crayons suddenly exploded in miniature bursts that rained down green wax which caught the sun’s light and made it look like sparkles fell from the sky.

The kids all stopped and watched with wide eyed amazement as the sparkle shower dusted them and it looked like they cheered as Kacchan smirked and grabbed a handful of crayons, throwing them one by one into the air.

Red and orange pieces of wax exploded like golden rain and a great big grin pulled up the corners of his mouth as he stood in the glittering remnants.

The kid who’d fallen before raised his arms up at Kacchan as if asking to be picked up and Izuku fet his stomach sink.

Kacchan was definitely going to yell at the kid..

But to his surprise without a second though he was placed on his shoulders.

Again another crayon was thrown and the children all looked as if they were having the time of their life with how excitedly they jumped up and down, clapping as the purple wax coloured their already messy clothing.

The kid on Kacchan’s shoulders reached his tiny hands towards a flake of blue and as his fingers touched the wax snowflake the entire scene dissolved and Bakugo was left standing in the concrete room with confused shock.

All Might pressed down the microphone with a wistful look on his face as if he’d just seen something from a dream, “Great job Bakugo my boy! You conquered your fear in more ways than one! I’m very proud of you!”

Bakugo huffed but it was clear he enjoyed the praise as he silently walked through the door and back into the waiting room.

“One word about any of that and I’ll send you all to fucking Mars,” he threatened the whole class but there was no real heat to the threat as he took his seat back on the couch’s arm.

“Because it’s too difficult to choose, I’ll let Young Bakugo here decide who goes next!” All Might laughed as everyone eyed Kacchan with sudden piqued interest.

“Sero.”

“Wait what!? Why!? I don’t want to go next!” Sero complained as Kaminari and Kirishima both laughed at him.

“I heard you laughing,” Kacchan replied with an evil smirk.

“Yeah well everyone was!”

“I heard you laugh more.”

“That doesn’t make sense!”

“Tough shit, you’re going.”

Sero’s arguments fell on deaf ears as he begrudgingly got up, Kirishima gave him a comforting pat on the back as he smiled an evil toothy grin.

“Better you than me!” He laughed as a sudden menacing presence popped up beside him causing him to freeze.

“Actually, I was going to have a friendly chat with you next.” Bakugo cracked his knuckles as Eijiro paled, a look of joking terror flashing across his face.

Sero smirked while he made his way through the sea of classmates, laughing at Kirishima’s own nervous chuckling.

“Better you than me~”

***

Everything felt cold.

It was a chill that made him shiver into the freezing feeling, craving an escape from that heavy claustrophobic heat that made him feel so weak and tired.

His head felt fuzzy and feverish, and the strange cool was comforting even though it was such an intense sharpness against his heated skin.

It was like..

It was like he was chasing something he couldn’t see, something that he couldn’t grasp, he didn’t have a clue what it was except it was right in front of him.

Actually, he didn’t even know if it was in front of him at all!?

It was so dark he couldn’t see, but that feeling, that awful feeling of fear consumed him, chasing him, or was he chasing it?

He wasn’t sure..

Unknowingly he groaned, shifting into the cold as if it were the only thing keeping him alive.

The only thing keeping him sane as he relaxed into it.

“〱A? H?”

There was something there, something with him in the static fuzz that felt clearer than the rest.

“YI*ŒL-”

It felt as if he could reach out and just about.. If his arms were just an inch longer.

“..%-~*”

Almost.

’Please!’ He whispered out, begging the- Whoever it was, whatever it was, to just let him catch it. To let him see.

Some gut feeling told him that if he reached it- If he just got a little closer- Then-

“JW SB BA-#!”

Izuku jolted awake, gasping as a loud explosion echoed off the walls rattling his already aching head.

Whatever dream he had faded away nearly instantly and he was left with a gaping empty feeling as he blinked in confusion.

“Where?” He mumbled, sleep still heavy in his thoughts as the terror of being forced awake subsided to feeling like a distant memory, and he relaxed back into the cushions comfortably.

'Wait…’ He thought, a slow realisation dawning in his foggy head, 'Cushions?’

“You fell asleep halfway through Sero’s fight, we thought you would be more comfortable here.”

“Oh,” Izuku muttered again as if it was the simplest explaination ever. Closing his eyes he sighed into the cold feeling, resting his forehead against the icy fabric mindlessly grabbing at it to pull that comforting coldness closer.

“Thanks Tod'roki,” He slurred, rubbing his face along the cold, craving the relief it gave as the unbearable heat fell away a little bit more with the movement.

“You’re welcome.”

A second passed, Midoriya was silent as, like a distorted jigsaw puzzle that a kindergartener was trying to put together, everything started clicking.

His eyes suddenly flew open in an embarrassment that was so overwhelming that, 'Embarassment,’ was too light of a word, and without moving he looked around trying to get a grasp on what happened.

Most students were sitting or standing around chatting, across the room Kacchan and Kirishima were teamed up against Sero and Kaminari in an intense foosball match that probably was the reason he woke up with how enraged and into the game Kacchan was getting.

He couldn’t see the training room without turning his head, but he heard some of his classmates cheering on whoever was in there.

Everything was normal..

At least..

Until he looked over and saw he was hugging Todoroki’s arm as if he were some kind of expressionless stuffed teddy bear.

He already knew when he connected the dots moments ago.. But it was a million times more real when he saw his own fingers intertwined in Shoto’s uniform, his arm interlinking with his own as his head rested in the crook of Todoroki’s elbow comfortably.

It was as if the sudden scene caused him to shut down internally as steam practically flew out of his ears.

Izuku’s face flushed ten shades of red as he jumped up, jerking his arm away and holding both hands raised in a gesture of innocence as he leaned so far away that he lost his balance and fell backwards onto the empty side of the couch.

“I- I” He stuttered, biting his own tongue as he felt a heat so overwhelming the room spun together in shapes of warped colours.

Everything was moving so fast that he didn’t even have time to fully grasp his situation as he tried regaining control of his own voice.

“Sorry, I’m so sorry,” Midoriya finally managed to get out so quickly that it was practically incomprehensible.

Todoroki just stared at him, his usually unreadable expression broken by a small eyebrow raise that was mostly hidden behind his bangs.

“It’s fine, are you alright?” He asked equally as monotoned as his concerned gaze.

Izuku cleared his throat, suddenly painfully self-aware at how awkwardly stupid he was being. Shoto hadn’t moved a muscle as he flung himself away, acting as though he were the plague.

It just startled him, well, actually it was a huge shock to find himself all cuddled up to Todoroki.

“I’m uh, fine,” he gave an awkward laugh as he picked himself off from the couch, pausing for a minute as the room slowly stopped spinning, and sat back down. Though it wasn’t even a fraction of how close he was before.

“Sorry.. I didn’t mean to freak out,” Izuku scratched the back of his head awkwardly, his face still a flushed mess.

Shoto’s stare hadn’t wavered a second while Midoriya was settling down, which only unnerved him more.

“That’s alright, are you sure you’re fine?”

Izuku gave a quick nod, the heat in his cheeks burning into his forced smile.

“Yeah I’m good, but uh, would you mind telling me how I got here? I don’t remember anything after Sero opened that casket and found a mummy?” He laughed again, a bit more naturally now with the vague memory of Sero standing face to face with a wrapped up mummy.

Shoto turned away after a bit of a pause, it was as if he was searching Izuku’s face for something and Midoriya felt even more awkward.

'It’s like he can see right through me,’ he thought as he shifted a bit on the couch. The last thing he needed right now was for someone to find out about him being sick.

He generally didn’t know at first with the excitement of the morning, and any sluggishness he did feel, any uncomfortableness, he just thought it was sleep deprivation and ignored it.

But now his head suddenly pounded as if a hammer was hitting him repeatedly and he felt so flushed that he generally wanted to forgo his pride and cling back onto Todoroki’s arm again.

Finally Shoto let out a sigh, it was quiet but Izuku still heard him and it only fuelled that unsettling sickening feeling that Todoroki knew.

Turning away he looked towards the window, it looked like Jirou was doing the exercise, but he couldn’t exactly be sure?

“You started dozing off,” Todoroki started without warning and it startled Izuku from his thoughts as he unconsciously turned to look at Shoto despite himself.

“You couldn’t keep your head up, so when All Might said everyone didn’t have to watch so intensely we moved you to the couch, Bakugo left when Kirishima dragged him to play games over there.”

He made a gesture with his head towards the foosball table.

At the moment Kaminari and Sero were losing miserably as Kirishima effortlessly blocked an oncoming attack, sending the ball straight to Kaminari. Unfortunately Denki thought he was blocking it but actually turned the wrong players and knocked the ball directly into his own goal, earning him an evil all mighty grin from Kacchan and a exasperated look from Sero. He was just guessing, but it seemed like that hadn’t been the first time Denki did that.

“Wait? What do you mean, 'we?’ And hold on how long was I asleep? And how did I- well, I mean, how did I end up, you know? Using you as a- I guess.. A pillow?” Anxiety flooded his veins making him jittery as he rubbed at the back of his palms absentmindedly.

God this was so awkward.. At least Shoto had such a straightforward air about him that eased his embarrassment just a little. If Todoroki was just as awkward as he was- He almost shuttered at the thought.

“Iida was going to move you, but I offered to help since you were sweating. I didn’t have anything to do until my turn and you looked uncomfortable,” again Shoto looked at him with that knowing stare and Izuku had to look away out of guilt.

'He knows something, is it the dreams? Did I say something? Does he know I’m sick?’ Thoughts flitted across his mind so quickly that he almost didn’t hear Shoto with how intensely he was obsessing over it.

“You slept through everyone aside Jirou’s currently, and Kaminari’s-” Izuku blanked, a look of stunned shame crossing his face and he looked down at his hands mortified.

“I missed the whole training exercise,” he muttered, a heavy feeling pulling down on him as he felt completely miserable.

'This isn’t any different than missing class,’ Izuku thought bitterly as he felt a wetness glazing over his eyes. A flash of pathetic anger consumed him in a split-second and he rubbed at his stupid eyes roughly.

'Why am I like this!?’ He thought, that heart wrenching anger directed solely at himself as a gloom overtook him.

'Everything was going so well! I felt fine!’

'I hadn’t fallen asleep in class all week!’

'I don’t even remember crashing! Why did it have to be now?’

'So much-,’ the sudden memory of Kacchan’s door last night plagued him in that short moment of thinking and Izuku felt a million times worse, ’-for handling it better..’

'It would’ve been better if I just did-’

A coldness shocked him from his thoughts and he looked with wide eyes as Todoroki stared him down again, his hand brushing the hair from his forehead as if checking his temperature.

“Did your fever return?” He asked and Izuku froze.

“Fever? What fever? I don’t have a fever I feel fine!” He laughed as he begrudgingly pushed Shoto’s hand aside, the sharp cold felt so nice and he hated to give that up, but he had to ignore this.

If he didn’t, and All Might found out..

His heart clenched at the mental image of his disappointed face, that was one thing he could not handle.

Shoto just gave him that same look that made Izuku’s paranoia skyrocket.

“Okay.”

They were silent again which only made Midoriya die inside with the amount of awkwardness he felt.

Trying to avoid the situation he turned towards where Jirou was standing in front of what looked like a bowl.

It seemed she was standing outside a door at night, it looked like some run down house with the way the porch light flickered as moths flew around menacingly.

He couldn’t see too much since so many people were watching, but he did notice that she hadn’t moved since he last glanced over.

Uraraka was currently at the mic giving some advice that he hadn’t heard but a snippet of, something about it being okay? And he swore he heard her say candy but that couldn’t be right?

In an instant Jirou’s hand shot out as an ear piercing shriek blasted through the room followed by electronic cackling.

Ashido and Kaminari locked eyes and immediately burst out laughing, snickering as an unbelievably embarrassed Jirou stalked back into the room as the door whooshed open, her arms crossed as she glared daggers into everyone- Especially Denki.

“Was that?” Izuku questioned, trying to figure out what he just saw.

“Was that one of those Halloween bowls? The ones that scare you when you reach out to get the candy?” The only reason he even was able to figure that out was because of the lack lustre Halloween decorations strung out throughout the scene and the muffled music that played faintly in the background.

“Yeah.”

…

'Come on Shoto! You’re my best friend and all, but you’ve gotta give me more to work with than that!’ He thought hopelessly as they were plunged into another awkward pause of silence.

Izuku half wondered if Todoroki was maybe.. Pouting? Or at least was being quieter than usual because he didn’t admit to being sick? Or something? Maybe he actually did offend him when he pulled away so quickly!? He didn’t mean to! He was still only half awake and-

All the worrying he was doing only made him feel sick as he sat in silence.

“S-” He paused his face reddening again as he felt the whiplash of embarrassment from stuttering, “Sorry, I know you were just trying to help, I didn’t mean to jump like that.” He couldn’t meet Shoto’s eyes, knowing that his friend was looking at him so intensely that he could physically feel it.

“It’s fine. It didn’t bother me.”

A simple answer for a simple person.

“I- Well I just want to thank you, I’m not sick I-” Before he could come up with a good enough lie, Uraraka bounded over with such a happy smile that it shut down whatever he was going to say.

“Deku you’re up! That’s great! We were starting to get worried!” She beamed as Iida followed from behind with an equally happy atmosphere.

“Good afternoon! Did you have a good nap?”

Izuku smiled widely, “Yeah! I don’t know why I was so tired!” He laughed as he felt that same intense staring boring into him and he knew it was Shoto again.

“That’s alright! I sometimes feel like that too!” Uraraka laughed as she bounced onto the couch, her hair fluffing upwards as she sunk into the cushions happily.

Iida gave a stark nod as he sat in between Todoroki and himself, something which Izuku was secretly glad for, “I don’t usually feel that way in class, but I understand most students normally do,” he said with a shrug and Izuku smiled, more so from the relief of them interrupting his and Shoto’s conversation than anything else.

If he was left just a little while longer with him..

Midoriya felt a shiver run down his spine at the thought, knowing he would’ve had to admit to being sick, or at least, admit to whatever it was that Shoto knew about.

A small part of him was terrified that he knew about his nightmares.. But that was impossible, he wasn’t usually a sleep talker and even if he was it wasn’t like he’d say anything to make anyone worry?

Yeah! It couldn’t be that!

“Deku are you alright? You don’t look so good?”

Midoriya tensed up, a look of fear crossing his face for a split second as he regained his composure and smiled a wide, horribly noticeable, fake smile, “Yup! I’m fine just a bit tired is all, you know how naps are!” He laughed again and even though all three of his friends gave him a look, they chose not to press it.

“Anyways what did I miss? Sorry I slept through your training Uraraka, how’d it go?” He added, a guilty feeling lodging in the pit of his stomach as he watched Kaminari say something to Jirou that caused him to get punched in the arm.

“That’s fine! We were right, my fear was a ghost!” She grinned triumphantly as she huffed with pride, “I remembered what you said about them not being able to touch you so I just stood there with my eyes closed and it eventually went away all on its own! It was awesome!”

Izuku tried to match her enthusiasm but it was hard, despite his nap he was still painfully worn out. The only difference was that now he had a bit of a boost to keep him going.

“That’s great! So what happened after Sero?”

“Quite a lot actually,” Iida pushed up his glasses as he got ready to summarise practically the entire day, “Kirishima went after Sero, he was afraid of chickens, Aoyama had a bad hair day, Uraraka went next, you know how that went-”

“Then Tsuyu! She had a ghost too!” Uraraka interrupted, an excited sparkle in her eyes as she grinned, “Only her ghost looked way scarier than mine! It was all disfigured and gross looking, there wasn’t any blood though but it was still scary!”

Before she could continue, All Might called out from where he stood off to the side, “Kaminari will be going now, then Young Midoriya and we’ll be done for the day!”

An excited cheer resonated from the students as they grinned, some voicing out their elaborate excursions for the rest of the day, and some just wanting to go back to their rooms and do nothing.

“Wow, how long did the training take?” Izuku questioned as the chatter died down.

“Surprisingly not long at all!” Uraraka beamed again, a happy aura radiating from her, “Actually we haven’t even gone to lunch yet! Everyone was really quick, some people only took seconds like Todoroki! He had this creepy looking doll and without even thinking about it he hugged it, he was out faster than it took him to enter the room! You should’ve seen the look on his face it was terrifying! He must’ve been super motivated to get back here!”

The sickening feeling returned as sweat perspired on Izuku’s forehead from sheer nervousness, though his fever probably didn’t help.

He had this empty feeling rolling around in his stomach from the disappointment of knowing he missed all of this.

It felt like a generally fun training exercise, everyone was having so much fun and laughing, playing games, enjoying seeing and helping each other.

And he fell asleep.

'What if I take up too much time?’ The thought suddenly crossed his mind with the feeling of tainted milk as it was like he was dropped from a building.

'What if I’m the longest time out of everyones?’

'Everyone’s so excited to get done and have a free day..’

'I don’t even know my fear- How can I hope to fight it?’

With each thought his stomach dropped more and more making his skin itch with the sudden stress he felt with being last.

“This hasn’t happened before,” he thought with a frown as he took hold of his hand, gripping it so tightly that his knuckles turned white, 'I’ve never been this scared of a training exercise before? Why am I so scared, what am I even so scared of!?’ It was a pathetic thought that he hadn’t realised he’d voiced out loud with his unconscious muttering.

“Okay that’s it.” Uraraka put her hands over Izuku’s, causing him to jolt with the sudden warmth.

“Wha?” He paused, a shaking smile returning to his face as he suddenly returned to reality.

“Izuku you need to go to recovery girl!” She huffed loudly and pointed with a fierceness that left him speechless.

“You’ve been out of it all day! Actually no. You’ve been out of it all week! You look awful,” he winced but she continued without stopping, “You’re sick aren’t you? Your face is so flushed and you’re shaking! We’ve all noticed it but hoped you’d go on your own, or at least would tell us about it! And now you just mumbled about something never happening before!? Izuku Midoriya we are your friends, you can talk to us!” She poked him in the chest, trying to get it through his thick skull that he didn’t have to shoulder everything on his own.

Izuku’s mouth felt bone dry, his tongue too heavy to even refute as he looked between her, Iida, and Todoroki, each of them having a look that backed her up.

“Please,” she begged and Izuku had to look away with the amount of guilt he felt, “We’re worried about you. We’ve all felt horrible seeing you like this and knowing you’d just lie to us about being fine.”

“You’re our friend,” Shoto added, reiterating what Uraraka had said before with the slightest smile, but it was enough to make Izuku chuckle, his anxiety slowly disappearing as his breathing relaxed.

“I- well,” he paused as he felt a sudden surge of warmth. It wasn’t at all like the sickly heat he experienced earlier, it was calm and comforting, and it made him smile. “I think you’re right, I’ll go talk to All Might about it,” He felt a relief at the thought, it was strange, he was trying so hard to keep going and felt awful, but the minute he accepted he needed a break it was like the weight was lifted off his shoulders.

Uraraka breathed a sigh of relief, like a mother having just won a painful argument with her exhaustingly stubborn toddler, “Good, you could make up the exercise sometime else, you need sleep!” She added as Iida also nodded, “You can’t do everything, it’s good to take a step back every once and awhile.”

Uraraka aggressively agreed as Izuku stood up, a sudden rush of black clouded his vision and he shook his head with a smile as he stretched, working the sleep away from his arms.

Before he could even take a step forward a coldness gripped his arm preventing him from going anywhere as he looked back, Shoto’s eyes made him nervous as his friend stared at him with a seriousness that made the light cold on his wrist all the more chilling.

“Are you okay.”

His mouth moved, whispering the words so even though Iida and Uraraka, as close as they were, couldn’t hear.

Izuku’s blood ran ice cold, his eyes wide as he felt his heartbeat suddenly quicken with the realisation that Todoroki knew.

He didn’t know how, but he knew.

A second passed, Midoriya was in a cold-sweat of shock, not knowing how to respond. He couldn’t tell them, he couldn’t say he was having nightmares like some elementary school kid!

He was going to become a pro hero!

He couldn’t have nightmares!

Plus they were his friends, his precious friends, it wasn’t like they could help him with this when he couldn’t even remember a single nightmare. It would only make them feel worried and he didn’t want that.

“Thanks but I’m fine!” He grinned, putting his heart into the smile as Shoto released his grip on his arm, seemingly satisfied with the answer.

As Izuku turned away rubbing the spot where Todoroki held his arm as if he could see it, he heard Uraraka behind him.

“What was that all about?”

“Nothing.”

He breathed a sigh of relief, if Shoto knew (which Izuku was just about near positive he did) he wasn’t going to say anything.

The sound of electricity hummed through the air and Izuku’s focus was drawn to the training room. Everyone had grouped around the window with the growing excitement and cheers of the second to last student.

Kaminari was flailing around, electricity emitting all around him in a low buzz as his strange dance caused a flurry of laughter to emit from the spectators.

Somewhere along the line the students had placed a paperweight on the button so they wouldn’t have to keep holding it down.

“They did that during Tokoyami’s run, he was after Tsuyu,” Iida spoke up from the couch, Izuku hadn’t gotten but a couple of steps before he got distracted with Denki’s exercise.

“Oh, I guess I’ll sit and watch and then talk to All Might,” he said with an awkward laugh as he sat back down on the couch.

“Did everyone keep the speakers on?” He asked as he watched Kaminari fail to stomp on a very agile spider.

“Yeah, we found it was easier and most people were super curious! It’s so strange when you’re actually in there, if you don’t remember where you came in from it’s so easy to get disoriented!” Uraraka grinned before continuing, “So Tokoyami’s turn came and originally he wanted the speakers off, and his fear was trying to solve one of those puzzle cubes-”

“A Rubik cube?” He added and without missing a beat Uraraka responded.

“Yup! That’s the one! Anyways he had to solve that but of course he didn’t know how, so he actually needed help but couldn’t contact anyone and it took like twenty minutes before everyone noticed!” She laughed again and Izuku gave a grin at the thought.

“So how’d he solve it?”

“Well Momo knew the trick to it so she replicated her own to follow along, but it was so funny trying to get Tokoyami to find the window! He couldn’t remember where he came in from so we were all trying to direct him and it was like a giant game of Marco Polo!”

Midoriya couldn’t help but feel that twang in his heart from the regret of missing this. It sounded so fun, at the very least he got to see Iida and Kacchan so he couldn’t be too upset, but still.. He missed so much in the span of several hours that it couldn’t help but hurt.

“I’m actually quite surprised you didn’t wake up,” Iida added once Uraraka had finished her rant, “Bakugo had blown up several times, when you first fell asleep he went off and nearly started a fight with Todoroki, had All Might not stepped in and reminded them of the delicate control panels they probably would’ve destroyed the room.”

Shoto and Uraraka shot him a look that went right through Izuku as a flash of guilt flickered in his eyes.

“Oh well.. That’s just Kacchan!” He laughed but that didn’t disguise the disgusted feeling he had with himself.

“Wait Izu-” Uraraka was cut off when a physically smoking Kaminari pridefully burst through the door, a tired but exceedingly happy look on his face as he gave a thumbs up.

“I didn’t burn out this time!” He shouted and was nearly knocked over as Kirishima and Sero flung themselves on him, just as happy as he was that he didn’t fry himself silly.

Bakugo just scoffed and said something that was drowned out by the sea of cheers.

Izuku felt his anxiety flare up, feeling sick again as All Might quieted the excitement, “Great job Kaminari my boy! You’ve managed to regulate yourself without it leaving you incapacitated!”

“Now settle down!” He called, looking at Ashido who was picking on Denki again, “We have one more student and then all of you can take a day off!”

Before giving them time to cheer All Might gestured to a nerve wracked Midoriya, who went pale with all eyes on him. He felt more flustered than anything before when he was going to talk with his mentor.

Uraraka gave him a comforting look that screamed, 'Go on, tell him,’ as he shifted uncomfortably.

“Actually, um,” he started, a shy look crossing his face, “Would it be alright if I made up the exercise?” He wanted to avoid giving the details of why, hoping that maybe All Might would somehow allow him to get out of it without questioning his reasons, even though it sounded so unbelievably lame and his face flushed up in embarrassment.

When he looked up All Might’s eyes had softened tremendously and he was smiling a comforting smile.

“Yes that’s more than all right! I’m proud of you for knowing your limita-”

“What a fucking Hero you’re going to be!” A voice spoke up amongst the supportive eyes of his classmates that made Izuku visibly frown.

“Hey Bakugo lay off he’s worn out.”

“Fuck you Shitty Hair! We’re all fucking worn out! Why the hell does Deku over here get special treatment!? We’re the ones pulling through and he’s wimping out at the last second!”

“Bakugo!” All Might called trying to silence him but Kacchan was in such a heated rage he didn’t even care.

“It’s fucking pathetic! He slept through the whole thing like a damn baby, we were the ones who had to wait! And now he’s suddenly not going to do it anymore!?”

A slow thin frost had covered part of the room as the air dropped several degrees, “And? What’s so bad about that.” Shoto asked without even caring for an answer as someone somewhere whispered a, 'Not again,’ as Bakugo turned on the couch with a fury.

“WHAT THE FUCK DID YOU JUST SA-”

“STOP IT!”

Deku exploded, standing up from the couch, his fists balled tightly to his sides as a drop of sweat rolled down his face with each huff of breath he gave.

It silenced every single person in that room.

“Young Midoriya?” All Might questioned after he gave a bit of a hesitant cough.

Izuku no longer felt dizzy, he may have still felt overwhelmed by heat, but that didn’t matter as long as he could survive it. What did matter was that Kacchan was right and he knew it, he was wrong to be swayed, and he was wrong to think he was due a break.

Heroes don’t take breaks.

“Kacchan’s right,” he said with determination as his eyes steeled while still looking down, “Everyone’s tired, everyone’s exhausted, it’s wrong for me to ask to make up the exam-”

Protests erupted from his classmates but that didn’t stop him, even though the worried looks from his friends made him feel a pang of guilt he continued.

“I’m doing the exercise.” He said with such determination that All Might had to sigh as a sad look crossed his face.

“All right, but Midoriya,” Izuku looked up meeting his teacher’s gaze, “Don’t overdo it.”

With a silent nod he pushed past the crowd of classmates, feeling all of their stares on his back as he breathed in deeply, closing his eyes as he pushed his feeling of fear deep down.

'It’ll be alright. No one had anything bad, no one got any villains, no one got anything scary, it’s only been lighthearted! It’s suppose to be funny!’ He tried comforting himself but he didn’t find any real comfort in his thoughts.

“You got this Deku!” Uraraka called out, standing up on the couch to make herself even louder and a wave of encouragement followed him as he gave a quick look back, a smile on his face as he looked right at Kacchan, “Thank you,” he wholeheartedly grinned, his eyes sunken in from exhaustion, as he stepped into the blank room.

If it weren’t for Kacchan, he’d have let himself do something he would’ve regretted. Being the only one to not complete a training exercise just because he was tired? That wasn’t the makings of a good hero at all.

As the door shut behind him his classmates all looked through the window with worry.

“He’s going to be fine right?” Momo asked with a strange look on her face.

“Of course! This is Deku we’re talking about! He’s awesome!” Kaminari grinned as the whole room seemed to relax.

“Yeah- Yeah! You’re right he can do anything!

"His fear’s probably talking to a hot girl or something!” Mineta jumped with a huff and even though no one was a real fan for his jokes, it did lighten the mood tremendously.

“If it’s fucking Deku it’s going to be some lame shit like butterflies,” Bakugo suddenly spoke up with an evil half smirk as he stalked over to the other empty couch and flopped down taking over the whole seat.

“He’s scared of fucking everything, this’ll be a breeze,” he said as he shifted around making himself comfortable.

“You shouldn’t have said what you did though,” Tsuyu croaked, voicing what practically everyone was thinking.

Bakugo blinked, the whole class- Even All Might, expecting him to blow up or yell at Tsu, but he just turned around avoiding her.

“Fucking mind your own business,” he muttered before going silent.

“Man this atmosphere is heeAavy!” Ashido’s sudden voice wavered, singsonging the word as she snaked through the crowd of people, a maniacal grin on her face that made all but Jirou and Momo wary.

“Say Denki!” She called with a laugh and Kaminari looked at her as if she held a bomb in her hands.

“Wait Ashido I don’t think it’s a good idea to do this now?” Jirou muttered but Ashido payed her no mind.

“What are you up to you kitchen killing alien?” Denki questioned giving her a side eye as Mina fainted innocence.

“Hey now my cooking is great! I’m not scared of cooking whatsoever! The computer just got it sooo wrong!” She grinned as several people who were drawn to her spectacle rolled their eyes.

“Actually I wanted to show you something?~ As a thank you for, 'Cheering,’ me on during my turn!~” She hummed as Kaminari sweat dropped.

He knew she was planning something, even without Kirishima whispering in his ear about how she obviously had something up her sleeve, but he didn’t know what..

“Minnaa come onnn,” He elongated the words for as dramatic of an effect as he could muster, “I was joking!~ Joking! You’re an awesome Uh- Water boiler! Yeah! You boil the best water!”

Ashido waved a finger in his face making a, 'Nuh-uh,’ sound as her grin widened and she held out her hand, “Here! Take it!~”

With suspicious eyes Denki put his hands out, cupping them under Mina’s without thinking as his curiosity outweighed the thought he probably shouldn’t’ve done that.

“His name’s Fuzzy! He likes warm hugs and long walks on the beach!~”

It was then Kaminari connected the dots far too late as Ashido dropped an ugly, huge, evil looking brown tarantula into his hands.

His shriek wasn’t nearly as loud as the sound of his electricity uncontrollably sounding off, his friends around him flung themselves out of the way as a field of lightning threatened to electrocute them.

Flinging the spider as far as he could, he stumbled over his feet falling back on the one thing that they had all sworn they’d be careful around.

His hand connected with the panels in slow motion, no one had time to do anything as a metallic shrieking noise filled the entire room as Kaminari’s own electricity was being forcibly drawn from his body.

He screamed as the tech blared loud beeps and alarms that were drowned out in the horrific blends of noise that overwhelmed the room as the panels were being overloaded with power.

Students were blown away unable to say anything with the force of the electric pulses, and All Might could do nothing except shield nearby students as electrified pieces of shrapnel flew off the panels in randomised bursts of explosions.

In the haze of noise no one heard the small, 'Computer star-’ that was drowned out as the thunderous conglomerate of high pitched static exploded.

The lights hummed with power as one by one they shattered, raining glass down on everyone as they screamed.

Plunged into darkness the only thing they could see was the illumination of Denki being used as a living light bulb before suddenly with another loud popping noise even that light went out and Kaminari crumpled onto the floor with a loud thud.

The sudden silence left ringing in their ears as the tornado of noise came to a stop.

“Wha-” Uraraka coughed, the burnt smell of melted rubber and other unknown mechanical substances charred together filling the room with the hissing smoke that emitted from the panels.

“What happened?” Someone else finished her thought but in the pitch black dark no one could exactly tell who it was.

“It’s all right! Everyone, everything’s all right! I am here! Yaoyorozu, can you create something to light up the room for us?” All Might called out in the dark, startling students with his loud booming voice that seemed to come from nowhere.

After several minutes of shuffling silence a dim light illuminated Momo’s face as she held up a lantern.

“Is everyone okay?” She asked without knowing what answer she even expected, the lantern she managed to produce didn’t have much light to it. If she stretched out her hand and still held the lantern she would lose sight of it even though it was still so close.

“Hey Todoroki?” She called and received a quiet, 'Yes?’ From somewhere across the room.

“If I make some candles would you be able to light them?” She questioned knowing the lantern wouldn’t be bright enough to light the whole room even if she made a hundred.

A sudden quiet fwoosh of noise later and Shoto was faintly visible in the flickering orange light of his flame. He only ignited his finger, just barely enough so that he could be seen on the other side of the room.

“Yes I can do that, if you can throw the candles over to me I’ll start lighting them.”

“Okay great! Hold on guys I’ll have some lights made soon.”

“Alright, now just what the fuck was all that!?” Bakugo yelled immediately from where he’d been forcibly thrown off the couch in the confusion.

“Calm down everyone! Let’s let Miss Yaoyorozu create more light sources while we assess our situation!” All Might shouted with a clap, “First off I will call out each of your names and please give an indication of your situation!”

“Aoyama?”

“Beautifully present,” there was a muffled up cough before the voice sounded off again, “Oh and I’m doing just great, my hair got charred and I’m covered in dust but I’m just fine.”

He sounded annoyed but no one interrupted as All Might went through the roll call one by one, everyone miraculously without any severe injuries, until getting to the very last name that everyone was internally worried about.

“Kaminari?”

Silence, it was an awfully painful silence that scared All Might to his core as he cleared his throat and tried again.

“Denki Kaminari? Are you alright?”

Again there was no response and as much as All Might wanted to walk around and check on all the students personally, without much light there was the concern of stepping on students. With the shattered glass everywhere even if he did only lightly step on anyone, it could still do damage.

“Den- Denki?” A shaking voice questioned in the dark and it was clear by the guilt ridden worry that it was Ashido.

“Hey fucking sparky, you’re wasting our time say something you idiot.”

“Well he’s not gonna want to say anything with you yelling at him like that.”

“Shut up tape face or I’ll blow you fucking sky high!”

“That wasn’t me!”

“Wait shut up!” Jirou yelled silencing their banter as something in the dark shifted, and with it she heard another fainter noise that she only barely managed to pick up.

Several seconds passed and-

“Yee~”

The whole room breathed out a sigh of relief.

“Oh thank god I thought you finally kicked it,” Jirou muttered feeling the exhaustion of worry give way.

“Ah he’s fried again!” Kirishima chuckled as they received another half hearted, 'Yee,’ noise.

“Fucking shitty sparky ass if you were awake say something sooner!”

“Awe Baku you really do care~”

“Fucking hell! Who said that!? Sero was it you!?”

“NO! Why do you always think it’s me!?”

“All right! That’s enough!” All Might sounded off silencing the batter that sparked off, “It seems like everyone is here except Midoriya, we’ll have to try to contact him once we get everything in order. Yaoyorozu how many light sources have you managed to make?”

“I have a handful of stick candles right now, I’ll try to make more but for now it’ll have to work,” she said as she gather up her candles, “Todoroki I’m going to try throwing them at you, sorry if I hit you.”

“You won’t hit me.”

With a nod that no one could see, Momo threw the first candle, trying to be as gentle as she could while still getting it to the other side of the room.

A smacking sound of something hitting flesh echoed throughout the quiet room as the slight light coming from Todoroki jolted and went out.

“Um, Todoroki are you alright? That sounded like it hurt?” Uraraka asked, ignoring the fact that Bakugo was hysterically cackling away in his little dark corner.

“..Yes I’m alright.” His voice came after a heavy pause and even with lacking any emotion, everyone could hear the embarrassment.

Without wasting a second he lit the candle, the wick sparkling and sizzling as the flame came to life engulfing the darkness around Shoto in a brilliant light.

“Whoa I can see his whole body! You can even see the mark where he got hit wit- Oh wait that’s just his scar.” Someone somewhere said in amazement and despite the awkwardness everyone had to admit they were right.

The candle light was really bright, even for an ordinary candle it was still strange the way it glowed white instead of a yellow or orange like Todoroki’s flame.

“I used magnesium in the wicks when I made them, it takes a little longer but they’ll burn brighter and won’t blow out easily.”

“Actually it’s what trick candles are made of. It’s why you can’t blow them out and they relight themselves, because the magnesium is very flammable the embers from the wick burn an-”

“Did we fucking ask for the science lesson!? Just make the damn candles already, I don’t want that fucking half and half to be the only thing I can see!” Bakugo shouted in annoyance as several more candles were being transferred over and lit.

“So what happened?” Someone questioned after a pregnant pause, and that same, shaky pitchy voice suddenly spoke up.

“I’m,” the voice cracked, “I’m sorry, I didn’t mean for- I just wanted.. I don’t know I-”

“It’s quite alright Miss Ashido, you didn’t mean any harm,” All Might’s voice held a comforting tone to it, as though he were patting her on the back.

“Kaminari didn’t mean to set the panels off either, it was an accident that I’m responsible for.”

“I’m just glad that none of you are hurt!” He laughed, Ashido’s sniffling being drowned out by the loud noise.

“I hate to be that guy,” a quiet voice spoke up once he was done, “But I’m not sure how long I’ll be able to keep control of my quirk..”

“It’s alright Tokoyami, I’ll have the room lit, just hang on,” Momo already had half the room lightened up, but it was really draining her.

At least with the strength of the candles she didn’t have to make too many, but the pressure was intense.

Students were laying everywhere on the ground, it looked like a hurricane had swept through with the glittering of the glass and slight cuts that littered 1-A being suddenly brought to light.

Though no one had any serious injuries, they had a huge amount of small paper-cut like scrapes from the glass and it made them all look like they went through some kind of vengeful blender.

“Alright! Everyone can move again, be careful with the glass of course and try tending to yours, and others, cuts as much as possible! I’ll find out what exactly happened, but we might be here awhile since the building’s put us in lockdown!”

“Lockdown!? What!” Shouts of protest went around like wildfire as students groaned in frustration.

“Well there goes our party plans.. Hey All Might how long is lockdown anyways?”

All Might gave a thought as he started carefully making his way to the panels, the room being just fully light enough to see everything.

“Well, it could vary depending on the damage, it might be half an hour, or it could be four!” He laughed as the students all groaned again.

“What about Deku?” Uraraka asked worriedly as she picked herself off from the ground and dusted the shards of glass and dust off.

“What about him?” Bakugo scoffed, intercepting the question that was clearly meant for their teacher.

“The shitty nerd is fine! He has that entire room to himself while I’m stuck with you fucking extras! He’s living the dream! I bet he’s laughing his fucking face off right now tha-”

“Um Kacchan what’re you doing here?” The sudden voice came out of nowhere, crystal clear, cutting off Bakugo’s words like a knife.

***

Izuku’s brows furrowed, scrunching his features together and a strong sense of something lodged in the pit of his stomach as he shifted the weight between his feet nervously.

When he’d stepped into the room everything was fine- Normal even. Or at least as normal as he expected?

It was exactly as Uraraka had said, the room was so large and so disorienting with how blank it was that he actually felt lost amongst the space.

When he turned he couldn’t see into the room even though he knew there was a window there, and even the door was covered up by concrete wall.

He’d waited to start the training, not wanting to interrupt the conversations that flared up in the other room. Plus, a little piece of him was enjoying hearing the banter and jokes.

Then suddenly everything went wrong.

A thunderous distorted buzz filled every empty corner in a hissing vibration that was so loud it drowned out his voice as he had to cover his ears in pathetic attempts to block out the horrific noise.

The lights flickered above him before popping out one by one leaving him engulfed in darkness as the noise sounded a loud shrieking explosion before plunging him into a sudden silence that left a shrill ringing in his ears.

'What?’ He questioned in his thoughts, still rubbing at his ears as he waited for his hearing to return to him, 'What was that?’

'Did something happen to everyone? Are they alright?’

'Nobody’s said anything?’

It was true, after the- Whatever that was, there hadn’t been a word from anyone in the other room. All Might hadn’t explained anything, no background noise, no chatter or fighting, it was like he was cut off from the rest of his class and it was unsettling.

That’s when he turned around facing where he thought the window was.

His eyes adjusted to the dark slowly, his whole body stiffening as he came to the sudden realisation he wasn’t alone.

There was a darker outlined silhouette of a person causing a jolt of fear to flood his veins strictly from that feeling of being so sure he was alone.

Bakugo stood unmoving in front of him, his arms crossed as he stared Izuku down with the coldest gaze he’d ever seen.

The silence between them was unnerving and made that sickening feeling of wrongness all the more unbearable.

“Um Kacchan,”

Izuku cleared his throat, cringing at how his voice cracked making his frazzled nerves all the more obvious.

“What’re you doing here?”

Silence.

Not a word was uttered and Izuku’s confusion festered inside of him making his stomach churn.

One second passed.

Two.

An entire minute.

He might have been more comfortable if someone else was with him, but the fact that it was just Kacchan staring him down in the near pitch black room made him feel unbelievably nervous.

Where was everyone else?

What happened to the power?

Where was Uraraka? Iida? Todoroki? Anyone?

Where was All Mi-

“You need to just shut up you quirk-fucking-less Deku.”

Bakugo suddenly snarled with such hatful disgust that it made Izuku visibly wince despite himself.

“What? Kacchan? I don’t?-”

“I said FUCKING SHUT UP!”

He felt the bile rise to his throat and his heartbeat quicken.

The shock from the sudden ear splitting yell echoed around the room vibrating his chest like he’d been at the front row of a concert and Izuku couldn’t help but begin to feel a sinking feeling.

“Wait, I don’t understand, Kacchan what’s going on?”

“Don’t call me that.”

“What?”

“You don’t have the fucking right to call me that you worthless Deku.”

The Bakugo in front of him spat his nickname as though it were more bitter than poison as he took steps towards Izuku, sizing him up with a gaze that- Had Midoriya not known who Bakugo was, he would have described as completely villainous.

Each step Kacchan took closer to him, Izuku matched by stepping backwards until he could no longer run away from the glowing spite that bore down on him.

“It’s your fucking fault.”

It was a gravely whisper that only made him more confused as Kacchan grabbed him by his shirt and pressed him hard against the concrete wall.

“What ar-”

“WHY DON’T YOU EVER JUST SHUT UP!” Bakugo exploded with sudden uncontrollable power and shoved Deku into the wall, his head banging against the concrete causing tears to well in his shaky eyes.

“IT’S YOUR FUCKING FAULT HE’S DEAD!”

Despite the situation a fear other than that of the feral Kacchan slapped him in the face.

“Whose dead?” He questioned but Izuku’s only response was his own voice bouncing off the walls making his anxiety grow ten fold.

“What happened? Kacchan talk to me!”

“Please, I won’t know if you don’t tell me!”

Again, there wasn’t a sound from Kacchan. His fingers which clutched the wrinkled uniform pressed down on his skin with such a harshness that Izuku knew bruises were forming with each elongated second.

But what unnerved him the most was how deathly cold Kacchan’s hands were, he could feel the chill seeping it’s way past the fabric making the hairs on the back of his neck stand on end.

“I know we aren’t friends,” His voice was quiet but held a sharpness to it that gave him the strength to finally meet Bakugo’s resenting glare, “I know we’re nothing close, to you we aren’t even classmates. I’m just another extra, I know that, but that doesn’t mean I think of you the same way.”

“I don’t know what’s going on, or why you’re acting like this, but just talk to me! I can help!”

Izuku put his own feverish hands on Bakugo’s, suppressing the urge to wince as the icy touch spread through his body, and for a second, for a split second, he thought he’d gotten through to him.

Kacchan’s expression had relaxed, he felt warmer in more ways than one, and Midoriya gave a smile as if trying to show that everything was okay despite his cluelessness.

The next thing Izuku knew he was seeing blurs as the room flew by and he collided with the floor, bouncing and rolling several feet before finally stopping.

The wind was completely ripped from his lungs and he lay gasping for breath, his gaze was hazy but he still managed to see Kacchan standing above him with a look of disgust.

“You’re a fucking disgrace. Don’t you dare think you can just act like nothing happened.”

“ 'I can help!’ ” He mocked, his eyes radiating a sadistic venom as he made a wild hand gesture.

“That’s just like you. Typical fucking Deku. You never know when to just fucking stop.”

“You’ve helped enough.”

If Izuku was going to say anything he didn’t have the chance before Kacchan kicked him hard square in the leg and he had to hold back the urge to keep from crying out.

“All Might’s dead because of you.”

Despite every fibre of his being that screamed this was wrong, that something just wasn’t adding up, that everything was moving way too quick, that one sentence alone made his face pale and his heart stop.

“What- ” His head was racing a hundred miles a minute as he tried processing that single sentence.

“What do you mean? Kacchan what do you mean All Might’s dead!”

“What.-” He stressed helplessly tugging on Kacchan’s pants leg in some desperate plea to make him explain. “-Happened!”

Kacchan looked down on him and with a disgusted scoff he kicked Izuku away, not nearly as hard as his first kick to his leg, but rough enough so that Izuku was sent sprawling again.

“It’s exactly fucking that. He’s dead. You took his quirk.”

Midoriya took on a ghostly look, his attempt at pulling himself up was thwarted by guilt that froze him in his tracks. He didn’t know if Kacchan meant what he thought he did but-..

There was no way he could know?

Kacchan didn’t bat an eye at Izuku as he crouched down to meet the teary faced statue in front of him.

“While you were halled up here fucking sitting on your ass, a fucking villain got in and cut the power.”

“He couldn’t do a damn thing because of you!”

Izuku- He couldn’t believe it.

It shouldn’t be possible, it had to be fake, it had to be a lie.

But it all felt so real that he had to fight back the nauseating acidic feeling that steadily rose up his throat.

He couldn’t.

He just couldn’t believe it.

But this was Kacchan, he wouldn’t lie about something like this!

Kacchan loved All Might just as much as he did!

So it had to be true but it just couldn’t!

“You’re-” His voice quivered and he hadn’t realised he was crying until he felt the tears fall off his chin as he looked up at a face that stared back with murder.

“You’re wrong! All Might wouldn’t just die! He can’t!” Izuku screamed back, his voice breaking as that sickening nausea rose in his scream and he banged his fist down on the floor as if punching Kacchan’s words.

He didn’t even wince as one of his fingers snapped, bending upwards at an eerily unnatural angle.

“I don’t know what happened but he’s not dead!” Shakily he rose to his feet, his body audibly cracking with the effort.

“He-”

“Then go see him for yourself.”

This voice wasn’t the same. It wasn’t as angry or hateful, it was familiar but held a coldness to it that Izuku hadn’t ever heard before and he looked up with wide eyes.

Iida was standing there, behind Kacchan. His face might’ve been masked by his glasses but Midoriya could still feel a revulsion stronger than disgust radiating from his friend.

“Iida? What are- what’s going on? What happened to All Might? This isn’t true? Right!?”

Izuku hadn’t realised he’d gotten up in his shock, but he took a slow inching step forward, ignoring the glares from Kacchan and reached out for Iida only to see his friend back away.

“You should know. You killed him after all.”

Izuku clutched at his heart as if gripping the distorted fabric of his shirt would keep his chest from feeling like it was about to collapse in on itself.

Seeing Iida look at him like that, hearing how distant he sounded, it hurt.

“I stuck around you in case I needed to do the right thing, I knew you were trouble since day one.”

Izuku wanted to interrupt him.

He wanted to shake Iida and beg him to stop acting so cold, to call his name with that happy sparkle he had and joke around like they normally did, but he stood in frozen disbelief unable to muster any kind of voice.

“The minute I saw you during the entrance exams I knew you weren’t a hero. Someone like you, with your quirk, you were bound to get someone killed.”

“And you did.”

“I should’ve killed you when I had the chance, maybe then-” Iida’s hands were clenched into tight fists as he spoke, “Maybe then All Might would still be alive. His power would’ve returned. Instead of being stuck with someone like you.”

“I thought,” Deku’s voice was too quiet, it quivered with the sharp pounding of his quickening heartbeat, “I thought we were friends? Iida this..”

His head was spinning and he felt lost in his own words.

“This isn’t like you! What happened!”

“I get that you blame me but we can figure out what’s going on! This isn’t normal this- If our friendship meant anything at all, then please, just talk to me!”

He locked eyes with him and felt a déjà-vu surge of hope, maybe, just maybe Tenya was just taking out his grief on him like Kacchan? Maybe he’d come to his senses and realise what he was saying!?

If anyone could be reasoned with it was him.

The pain Izuku felt on his cheek didn’t even compare to the stabbing realisation that turned his entire body ridged. Iida- No his friend, his best friend, slapped him so hard that it left a red mark on his tear streaked face.

“Did you really think I’d be friends with someone as worthless as you.” Iida stated in such a calm and collective manner that it was devastating.

He couldn’t stop the chocking sob that broke through his resolve. He couldn’t stop the small quaking tremors that racketed his body.

Why!

Why did it hurt so much..

He’d had his dreams snatched away from him, he’d been bullied and beaten, he’d broken his bones countless of times, but not one of those moments hurt as badly as this did now. Nothing compared to this god awful sinking that pressed his insides down, enveloping his entire body in a throb that just.. Wouldn’t go away.

“Izuku? Are you okay?”

He looked up to see Uraraka staring at him with a gentleness that felt like an ice cold bath on a drunken night. It was like something cleared and it made him want to hug her and never let her go.

Bakugo and Iida might hate him, but she never would.

That just wasn’t who she was.

He felt a calmness settle his nerves and he shook his head trying to clear his thoughts.

Izuku smiled as he wiped his eyes, “Thanks Uraraka, sorry I- ” He paused as he closed his eyes taking a deep breath before continuing, “I don’t know what happened, I know they don’t mean it, Kacchan is Kacchan but Iida.. I didn’t think he’d.. You guys are my first friends you know? And, I don’t even know what happened?”

His entire being radiated a sad happiness that made his smile seem almost heartbreaking.

Uraraka was like a rock to him, she was the first person to ever help him, the only person who ever reached out a hand to someone like him, the only normality out of this whole messed up misunderstanding.

Again, that hope, that cruel and stupid hope that kept popping up even though these stupid, stupid situations kept repeating, made him feel calm.

The small fleeting moment of peace he had, that feeling of, 'I’m going to be okay,’ it plummeted quicker than it appeared when, to his horror, he saw Uraraka’s pleasantness contort into a sadistic grimace.

“You’re kidding right? You really believed that? Why would I care if you were okay after what you’d done?”

His smile was wiped from his face and the deception left him with a hollow feeling he’d never experienced before.

“I don’t understand- Why? What’s going on?” Izuku’s voice was so small as he watched in a transe like horror as Uraraka spun around the room as if she were dancing.

“Why!? Because you were stronger than me! Did you really think anyone would be friends with you for any other reason? Grow up Deku!”

The stress in his nickname made Izuku wince and he had another moment of déjà-vu.

This felt almost like middle school.

This felt like when Kacchan bullied him, except so much worse that it made him want to shut his eyes and never open them.

But, he wasn’t powerless anymore like he was back then. He could fight back. He could..

The mere idea of raising a fist to either Iida or Uraraka felt so utterly wrong. Just thinking of the possibility made him experience another wave of nausea and he hated himself for even realising he could fight them.

That idea was far more sickening than hearing anything they could ever say to him.

A loud snap startled him out of his thoughts and Uraraka grinned in his face, she was so close that if he leaned forward their noses would be touching.

“Deku~ 'You can do anything!’ Did you really honestly believe that crap? Jeez I must be a better actor than I thought!”

The Uraraka before him leaned back and laughed a laugh that pierced his already sunken heart, but it was such a hollowed out feeling.

Even though it hurt so bad, his eyes were dry with the overwhelming disbelief of it all.

“Shitty Deku, you can’t do anything other than getting in the way. You couldn’t even save me.”

Bakugo’s sudden voice made Izuku’s head snap towards the sound and he stood staring as a match like fire of anger burned the bitterness on his tongue like fuel.

How could Kacchan say something like that? He knew better than anyone that he risked everything to save him!

“What? Expecting a thanks for your, 'Rescue Mission,’ if you were fucking quicker I wouldn’t have needed to be rescued in the first fucking place! If you weren’t going to take being a hero seriously then why’d you even enter U.A!?”

And just with one sentence, with one god awful look from Kacchan, that confidence he had was snuffed out.

His determined expression fell flat.

That..

That was true..

The sudden surge of conviction he had dissolved as he realised that Kacchan was right.

If he had only been quicker, if he only reached him sooner. He might’ve..

“You’re a monster, a demon. Monsters can’t be heroes.”

“I’m not- ” A sudden sob caught in his throat that surprised him but he forced it down, “I’m not a monster!”

His fists were held tightly to his sides, his head looking down at the concrete floor as if wishing he’d turn invisible.

Maybe if he wasn’t so tired, maybe he’d have been able to handle what they were saying better? Maybe he wouldn’t have reacted with such weakness?

Maybe he’d have realised that something wasn’t right.

That the burning he felt engulfing him wasn’t normal.

That people kept showing up from nowhere.

That-

Everyone seemed to know what he was thinking.

“You are.”

This voice was new and Izuku looked up to find Todoroki staring back at him with a seemingly expressionless face, but his eyes burned with a quiet rage that made both of them seem almost red.

At that moment he felt his heart sink even further to the point he felt his knees almost buckle.

Not-

Not him.

Todoroki was like a brother, they’d helped each other out so much.. He cared for him so much..

“Your strength is evil. It hurts everything and everyone around it. It shouldn’t exist.”

It felt useless to deny it but still Midoriya had to. He.. He knew his power was dangerous, but that didn’t make it evil! That didn’t make him evil!

All Might went through the same thing!

“That’s not true! I just need to train more! I’m going to become a hero!”

“And how many people have to get hurt, how many people have to die until you make it?”

Izuku whirled his head around so quick it nearly gave him whiplash as he stared at Kirishima with another pang to his chest.

He shouldn’t have been surprised! But he couldn’t help the disappointment from eating away at him.

“You’re so selfish!”

Again he turned his head back to see Mineta looking up at him with an accusatory gaze of hatred.

“Mineta? But you tried cheering me up earlier? You’re my friend!”

He knew it was pointless but.. Still..

Mineta looked offended as he huffed in annoyance and crossed his arms angrily.

“Yeah right! I only did that because you’re so annoying when you’re sad! You sit right in front of me! I don’t want to see that!”

Izuku couldn’t handle what was happening anymore.

Every word that came out of his friends mouths hurt, every time they looked at him, every glare, every scoff, stung his chest and rattled him despite it all.

“You should’ve taken my advice.”

Bakugou had stayed quiet, but now he spoke up with an uncharacteristic coldness that confused Izuku as he looked from the scuffed up concrete and locked eyes with him.

“Kacchan what-”

“You should’ve taken a nose dive when you had the chance.”

An eerie calmness overtook him as tears suddenly started falling noiselessly down his face and dripping onto the concrete like ghostly shines in the darkened light.

“I don’t care what you all say,” his hands were clenched to the point his knuckles turned white, his broke finger the only one not balled up.

“You’re my friends!” His shout met with empty air as his entire class had surrounded him. Each person looking at him with mixtures of disgust and rage.

There wasn’t a single friendly face in his 1-A class. Not one.

“Do you know what All Might said before he died?”

It was Kaminari that spoke up and Izuku couldn’t help that bitter feeling of betrayal from creeping in. He helped Kaminari study often, they laughed together, played games together, he stayed up late helping him.

But here he was.

Looking at him just like all the others.

“He said his biggest regret was meeting you. You were his greatest failure.”

The world stopped.

Izuku felt like he was falling.

Maybe he was? He wasn’t aware anymore.

His tears stopped from the sheer weight of knowing that they were right.

It shouldn’t have bothered him.. It wasn’t like All Might said it to his face, he had no reason to believe them except-

They were his friends, and he knew they weren’t lying.

“Someone like you doesn’t deserve to live.”

In the haze of his shock Izuku didn’t hear Tokoyami, he didn’t even register what other cruel things were thrown at him.

He didn’t even feel the first punch until it landed with his jaw and sent him flying backwards, Kirishima’s smug face happily proud of himself as his sharp teeth grinned a happy smile.

Despite everything he heard, everything he saw, Deku didn’t want to give up.

The laughter, the games, late nights in the dorm, study sessions, parties, these were his friends. They were his precious family.

He rubbed his cheek, groaning as he rose to his feet dizzily, “You’re all my friends, I don’t want to fight you.”

His stubborn conviction settling his resolve as he felt clear headed again, no matter what happened they would always be his family, even if he was never anything to them.

Gingerly Izuku rubbed away a smudge of blood from his split lip and his eyes shone with an empowering confidence.

“I won’t fight you.”

A piercing scream tore its way from his lips as his arm felt an intense burning sensation that brought him to his knees from the sheer pain of it as ringing bounced through his skull.

“I’m not your fucking friend.”

Izuku’s mouth frothed with a mixture of blood and spit from where he bit his lip and he clutched the useless arm that hung loosely by his side desperately as he regained composure and stood once more.

This was different than spar fighting, this was different than all those exam fights because this time there wasn’t a purpose. This wasn’t to get better, this was real.

There was a real intent to hurt, to kill, emitting from each one of them.

“Please-” he spat his voice begging, pleading them to hear him, “Please if our friendship meant anything, even if this is all true and you all hate me, if there was ever a time when we really did laugh together, even for a second, then please don’t do this. I’ll- I don’t know what I’ll do, I’ll drop out. I’ll give up on being a hero, just please don’t do this!”

“You won’t become heroes if you do! The school will expel you!”

His voice shook with the sudden power in which he shouted. There was never a single moment, standing there with one arm useless, that he thought he should fight them.

He could never turn One For All on his friends, even if they tried killing him.

The thought of Kacchan never being the hero long ago they once dreamed he’d be, of Kirishima not being able to follow the footsteps of his idle, of Iida not living up to his legacy, of Uraraka not making her parents proud like she hoped- Even though they already were proud.

Those thoughts were strangely worse than the pain he felt.

“And here he goes with that stupid self sacrificing attitude, Jeez! It’s pathetic!” Uraraka sent a chip of what looked like the floor hurtling towards him and he managed to dodge, but the sudden effort made him trip over his own feet and he fell to the floor with a thud.

He cried out as his damaged arm met the ground harshly and a sudden soft chill grazed the right side of his face causing him to look up in hazy confusion, “Todor-”

Izuku screamed, a guttural pained scream that bounced off the walls of the room filling it with the sound of his agony.

He clawed at where Todoroki burnt his face, trying to put out the flames that burned into his skin.

A handprint, Shoto’s handprint, was seared into his flesh like a brand.

“Wasn’t it you who said I should use this?”

Izuku felt like he couldn’t cry anymore, but still several tears stung his face.

He couldn’t open his right eye, but he stared up at Todoroki with betrayal and.. And something else..

“There we go! Hey guys I think he’s finally getting it!”

He screamed again, his entire body contorting as electricity shot up and down his spine, his back arching uncontrollably.

A punch collided with his stomach knocking him a few feet over, he couldn’t see who it was but it didn’t matter. Izuku was left gasping, spitting blood onto the floor as he rolled over, unable to move.

“I won’t- I won’t fight you guys, I don’t want to hurt you.”

He winced before the pole collided with his damaged leg, knowing the blow was coming before even seeing it.

There was an audible crack that sent him into a flurry of tortured screams.

The onslaught of attacks stopped and Izuku opened his eyes hoping that maybe everyone finally came to their senses..

Or at least were done.

Instead of his class he saw someone else hovering above him like an angel.

It was a sight that made his chest tighten with longing as he stared as if seeing a ghost.

“Mo-” He gasped wordlessly as a coughing fit made his lungs fill with a burning itch that sent him sputtering. It took him several minutes before he was able to breathe again, blood traced his lips and he heaved a big gasp of air before looking at his mother with greedy hopeful eyes.

“Mom?” He croaked, finally able to get her name out as he looked up with a childish desperation.

He watched her kneel down besides him, gently she brushed the hair away from his wounded eye and a heaving sob made his entire body tremble as he shook.

He couldn’t get up, he couldn’t move his arms, he had no strength to stand, and the fact he wasn’t able to do something as simple as hugging his own mom hurt him as he lay pathetically on the ground struggling to breathe with how hard he was crying.

“Mom I-” Izuku looked at her unable to get a sentence out with how badly he was trembling.

He didn’t care about how unreal it was, or how the same thing happened with his classmates, and how quickly that happy feeling had been ripped away again and again each time someone showed up.

He just wanted his mom.

“Oh Izuku,” the pity that filled her voice only made him feel worse inside. That wasn’t what he wanted her to say. He didn’t want her to feel sorry for him, he wanted her to hug him, he wanted to feel his mom’s warmth and know that everything- Every god awful thing that happened today was just a sick dream.

His face melted into his mother’s hands as she cradled his cheek and he shut his eyes, he didn’t care that her hand felt so cold, he was exhausted from his own outburst. His body ached, he hurt so badly, and not just physically.

He wanted a hug so desperately, he wanted to just go home already..

“You realise it don’t you?” Her voice was gentle and soft like a butterfly’s wings and despite the confusing context, Izuku found himself taking comfort in her quiet voice.

He opened his eye, looking up at her with a questioning stare that said more than his voice could.

“That none-”

The pounding in his heart picked up again and he gasped as her icy nails sunk into his face, clawing at his skin until red welts dotted his cheek.

“None of this-”

His eyes widened in sheer terror, unlike any that he’d ever experienced, as he begged his mom to let go in the way his tears mixed with the blood that started to bleed in ugly splotches down his face.

“Would have happened if it weren’t for you!” She screamed at him, a voice he never heard before, it was horrific, it was worse than any curse or cruel thing Bakugo- or any of his friends said.

“MY HUSBAND’S GONE BECAUSE OF YOU!”

There wasn’t anything he could do as Izuku struggled to breathe under his mother’s iron grip. He couldn’t ask her why, he couldn’t question what she meant, he couldn’t even push her away as she began to strangle him.

Izuku could only sit there and listen as uncontrollable tremors racketed his body and his breathing hitched into hyperventilating.

“If it weren’t for you he’d still be here!” Her voice was a hysteric mixture of pure disgust that was both distraught and angry.

“And then you want to be a hero!? You’re quirkless! You were a worthless child since I brought you back from the hospital!”

“Too weak to even stand up for yourself!”

“Worthless!”

“A good for nothing Deku!”

She spat, and he flinched as though he’d been struck as her nails dug further into his neck.

“I should’ve abandoned you long ago- You’ve been nothing but trouble!”

“Having to be a mother to a horrible son like you!”

“I wish I’d died instead.”

At that she flung him away, and this time Izuku Midoriya did not get up.

He didn’t even try to protect himself when she slammed him into the floor.

The world was a daze, he couldn’t feel anything anymore he couldn’t even breathe as he gasped, the pressure gone from his throat.

He felt so detached, it was like he wasn’t even here.

There was a ringing in his ear from the impact and something wet was on his face but he didn’t know if it was tears or blood anymore.

It took him several minutes just to regain control of the spasming in his chest. His sobs choked him as he gasped into the ground, unaware of the spit that flew as he struggled to do something as simple as breathe.

His mom’s voice echoed in the base of his skull as his pitiful cries slowed to empty gasps and he laid pathetically on the concrete.

Izuku didn’t know how long he had been laying there.

He couldn’t think anymore, if he did his chest tightened and his head throbbed with the pain that hammered in his heart.

As if he held the weight of the world on his shoulders, Izuku painfully turned his head sideways, shifting awkwardly as he no longer felt the need to suppress the urge to cry out and spat blood as his body twitched from the pain.

His breathing slowed to nothing as he stared blankly at the wall, expressionless save for his shaking eyes.

He didn’t know if it was the concussion that made him hallucinate or if he had gone so utterly insane that he imagined it, but he saw All Might in front of him now.

Only he was bloodied.

His body had deep cuts littering all over him and his right arm was torn off from the shoulder, bone exposed jagged and awkwardly, spilling blood everywhere.

He was hunched over in on himself, clutching his stomach as if in his last moment he tried stopping his own innards from spilling everywhere from the gaping slash that ran from shoulder to hip exposing the eerie whiteness of his ribs.

The blood dripping from his opened mouth in a thick line pooled at his knee, and his eyes stared at him widely with a lifelessness that was unsettling even in the dark lighting.

It was as if he was saying, 'You did this to me.’

He could hear it.

Everywhere around him.

He could hear their voices circling him, suffocating him, strangling him as if they physically stood around blaming him.

Izuku could hear his own heartbeat in his ears, his ragged breathing had peaked and he couldn’t even register where he was anymore.

“Stop it.”

'Who said that?’ He wondered as he looked around without seeing, it felt as if he should know, but something was in the way.

“Stop it. Stop it. Stop it.”

'It sounded kind of familiar? But why was it so far away?’ There wasn’t anyone around him, so there shouldn’t have been a voice.

“Stop it. Stop it. Stop it. Stop it. Stop it. Stop it.”

All at once it was like Izuku had been hit with a truck. He could feel every ounce of pain that choked him. His broken arm, the ribs that poked his lungs, the throbbing of his burn, every bruise and scrape all returned to him and the ringing vanished as quick as it came and instead enveloped him in a screaming he didn’t realise was his own.

He screamed, pulling at his own hair as the unbearable pain consumed his voice in each increasingly loud, 'Stop It,’ that uttered past his lips.

Izuku’s agonising scream bounced off the walls seeming to return to him, mocking him, as his own heartbreak became too much for him to handle.

“Stop it. Stop it. . stopitSTOPITSTOPITSTOPITSTOP!”

A blinding flash of white-

And then suddenly.

The screaming stopped.

It was quiet.

It was so utterly quiet that if you dropped a single hair you’d be able to hear it when it met the floor.

Izuku lay still on the ground, sprawled out in an unnatural pose that screamed louder than his own desperate cries- That something was terribly wrong.

His eyes were closed and for once since he stepped into the cement hell of a building, for once since he woke up in a scrambled mess, he looked unsettlingly peaceful.

The only eerie thing other than the silence that deafened the tormented room, was the fact that Izuku’s chest was not moving.