#health ass in both hand and am sick rip

[insufferablemod]

rlly wanted 2 try n do somethng 4 the ask blawg for 413 but school n health r kicking my ass

[the-witch-of-one-piece]

霊圧 + 淫慾. // spiritual pressure + lust. [sashi-ya x twoop]

Kenpachi Zaraki, Kensei Mugurma, and Shinji Hirako: Getting Caught During Sex Part 2 Created by: The-witch-of-one-piece/WC:800+/Masterlist/Collab w/ @sashi-ya💜

TW: getting caught, fingering, groping, dirty talk, oral sex, penetration, voyeurism

Kenpachi

“I told you already,  I was going to take care of you tonight but you didn’t want to listen. And now we are here.” Kenpachi spoke in a rough tone.

Legs far apart from one another he practically ripped your bottoms and panties off of you. Your undone top is exposed to the code air. Your back pressed against his chest. His hand groped your breast while his fingers were pushing into your messy cunt. “Is it wrong to want to be touched by my wonderful captain?” you teasingly said. Your hand reaches behind your touching his face. “Wonderful? You mean wanting to be touched like a little slut by someone who can tear you apart. You have one sick mind to think I’m wonderful.” His fingers began to move faster inside you.

The door was open to his office and he didn’t care who saw, you wanted it so badly he didn’t give a flying rat's ass who saw. Ikakku didn’t seem phased by what he saw when he walked into the door because he saw way worse from you both. “Sorry to interrupt the weird thing you're doing to _____  but Catpain they are waiting for you to give the orders...” His eyes were looking at the corner of the wall not wanting to see you exposed. 

You tried to cover up but Kenpachi refused “Don’t be all shy now _____.. You are getting what you wanted right now ….. Ikakku tells them I’m attending to _______ it won’t take me long to finish her off. I will see them in a few.” Once he spoke Ikakku left  “hurry up and cum for me now little slut.” 

Kensei 

“Nghh~~mmmm~~oh god kensei~~” your moans were lingering a bit longer. The mat where you both did your stretches was being used in a different way.  Both of his hands pressed on the back of your thighs as he buried his face deep into your cunt. His lips began to suck on your clit. Your finger gripping the white hair Captain. Pushing his face more into your cunt.

“Those stretching poses of your work and to find out you didn’t wear any panties, you wanted this to happen.”  he was savoring the juices coming from your cunt. He enjoys the health-like style you both hand and he could taste the difference in your cunt juice.

“I wasn’t expecting you to do it now~~~” you arched your back closing your eyes. “Fuck~~~~ “ you began to heave a bit more. “Just like that,” you spoke in a quick tone that has a slightly high pitch to it. “I think that is a no you guys want to eat out…” you heard Mashiro giggling at the entrance. “Well, Captain you're already eating out… HEY GUYS THE CAPTAIN IS ALREADY EATING HIS MAIN COURSE IS ______!” Kensei picked his head up with a bit of a red tint on his face, “GOD DAMMIT MASHIRO!! I’M GONNA KILL YOU THIS TIME.” he shouted from the top of his lungs.

Shinji 

“Don’t drop me, Shinji.” You're held onto his shoulder, your back hitting the cold wall. Feeling your eyes rolling back of your head. Your juices were trickling down his cock as he continued to hold onto your thighs for support. 

“Ssss easy on the digging into my skin _____, I told you I got you,” Shinji spoke in a teasing tone. Her tongue traced your bottom lip before he pressed them against yours. 

Feeling his tempestuous cock slide inside and push through your dripping slit aching to be filled by no one else but him, Shinji let out a low groan as his member sheathed deeper into you.  He was usually more of a person who gradually increased his speed instead of ramming into you like an animal, but not this time. This thrusting motion he had made you a complete mess. The force behind each pound was sending your body over the edge and knocking the air out of your lungs. Shinji could see you were lost for words. Just crying out his name he was turned on by it. “Am I interrupting something?”  Rojuro looked at you both. He didn’t have a bashful look on his face; he was still rather calm.  Shinji looked a bit annoyed. He was still inside of you but stopped his thrusting. “Can I help you with something?”

“Well I was dropping by to see if you wanted to get a drink but I see you have your hands full.” he let out a small chuckle.  “Bit of advice might be to choose a different venue for the fun time and not an empty hallway. It will be empty  for a while till someone passes by.”

Tagging: @stygianoir @tealcat001 @dumbbitch223 @bookandyarndragon @jin-supremacy01

[lexiwright]

Night out

Benny watts x reader

I'm so so so sorry this to so long to come out. I had planned it to be out for new year and then I kept changing my mind so it may not seem like it makes sense apologizes, I'm also promptly moving tomorrow. I literally was told my parents couldn't handle me and my mental health anymore and am not getting kicked out just ( space for everyone ) so yea I'm feeling very low and just so no one wonders why the next one will probably take so long. I'll be living with my real mum who has her own issues too so we will see

Trigger warning - slight alcohol miss use. Slight drunken abuse (not from benny he would never.)

Some cuddles and fluff

Prompt - ”Can you please come and get me ”

--------

It had been a less than successful night. Your sure others wouldn't agree but you sat next to a gutter at the side of a very quiet road in front of a building of which merely hours ago you had been drinking aside friends in had drunk adults spilling from the door as everyone came and went.

Your arms wrapped tightly around yourself, you glanced around and spotted a payphone a little down the street. Pulling yourself off the ground and reaching for your bag you stumble your way away from the slow rumbling music that clung around the door from inside. It got distant and you fell into the booth.

You thought about how the night had started. The party had been on everyones mind for days. You were going with cleo and the boys. Beth was even gonna meet you guys there. Who was in New York for a few days, staying in a hotel a few blocks from the party. Although she didn't stay long, trying to keep sober.

You guys had got there around 11. In time for the beginning of shots being pasted around. Which you off course accepted. Kick starting the night with some vodka.

All went well for a few hours, by about 2 you'd put back your fair share of drink. And that's when it started to hit you. You weren't a stranger to the results of alcohol tho and kept going like it was nothing.

But apparently your uneven walking had caught the attention of some...less than pleasant individuals. They had tried talking to you before and you just ignored them. They had a look in their eyes that you weren't comfortable with so you didn't dwell on them.

But they had dwelled on you it seemed. They noticed as your balance had started to wobble. Quite possibly noticing when your words all slurred together. And definitely when you stumbled in front of them as you had unsuccessfully attempted to step past one of them. But there was no call for the man to grab you. And not in a way to help you balance. You told him to let go. But his hands had other ideas. You tried to pull his hands off of you and your not sure what happened next but he slapped you.

You probably did something wrong you thought. You always screw things up.

Some words were exchanged and you rushed out. Not after kneeling him in a not so nice place. he tried to grab you. Ripping the shoulder of your one straps. It was a cheap dress but now you had to make sure you help up the strap just in case.

You felt humiliated and your face hurt.

You found some money in your bag, next to some mint gum that you decided was a higher priority.

Benny hadn't come to the party. He thought it sounded stupid. And when you had stepped out of your room into the middle of the apartment he looked at you and snorted.

” what do you expect to get in that get up?” he asked suggestively.

You didn't think anything of it and giggled at him. But now you thought maybe it truly was your fault an that you seemed like you were asking for it.

Shaking your head to clear it of such thoughts. Which made the small booth spin a little but you stuck with it. Putting in the coins and trying to remember the right numbers for the house. You felt sick as you listened for the click of the phone being a answered and a harsh voice on the other end speaking.

”hello?”

It was Benny. Hopefully you hadn't woke him.

” Benny?” you whispered out. Realising you had to speak

” Y/N?” he questioned. Voice softening a little.

You twirled the cable as you stared at your shaking hand.

Your throat seemed to close up as you looked for the words. To explain how drunk you had got. To explain what the men tried to do to you. Why you hadn't come home yet even though it was now 3.

” Y/N what's the matter” he asked sternly.

Your eyes pricked with sudden tears and with a slight choke you sobbed out.

”Can you please come and get me ”

”what happened where are the others?” he seemed startled

” I don't know. I'm sorry. Please Benny.”

There was a split second of silence and then

” I'm coming to get you stay right where you are. ” and then another click.

You waited. Felt like a life time. You thought about a lot of things. Part of you was worried Benny wouldn't come. That he would leave you here. You struggled to keep your self balanced so you went over to a step and sat down. Put your head in your hands with your elbows resting on your thighs.

You sighed. Maybe you should find your own way. You sat up and ran your fingers through your hair.

It wasn't to long before a taxi pulled up in front of you and outstepped a slightly frustrated looking Benny.

His hair askew and a loose black shirt, he took a few long strides to reach you.

Looking up you giggled at how tall he looked. Sighing at your antics he held out a hand and began to pull you too your feet.

Wobbling considerably you made it to an upright position and with a long arm around your waist you stumbled your way to the taxi.

You some how got in. A testament to what a person would do to get away from a party.

You could tell he hadn't noticed your strap or face yet, you had concealed it well. Somehow.

Time didn’t work for you so you’ve no idea how long it took to get home. But when you did benny got out first to open the door for you and pay the driver.

Thanking the man. He shut the car door and watched for a second as it pulled away before turning his attention to the more presssing matter of the drunking idiot before him. Giggling at a joke he obviously missed.

He noticed your face. You saw the moment he did and he stepped closer. Enough to see the outline of a hand.

This was when Benny realised there was a little more to this story of you just getting blitzed as he, for the first time took in your appearance, clocking the strap you were holding up with your arms folded.

A hint of rage passed through him before he calmed and took your hand to get you inside. You were barely three steps into the building befor you asked

“How am I supposed to get down the stairs”

Slurring lightly.

He sighed. Not for the last time and leaned down to hoist you into his arms and proceeded with caution as he walked with you. You giggled some more as you wrapped your arms around his neck, hugging into him.

You were drained. And you wanted to sleep. Leaning your face into his neck you've never felt safer.

When he reached the bottom he placed you down gently and unlocked the door to let you both in. This time just holding you round the waist as you wobbled down the small set of stairs. He then pulled you to the sofa and sat you down.

After doing the usually after drinks things like water and getting you a jumper and some shorts of his he then sat next to you and spoke for the first time since you's had got in.

”are you going to tell me what happened?” he gently pushed. Not wanting to push you over the limit but he was concerned.

Your face fell and you nodded a little and told him very roughly but enough that he understood what had happened. He was angry, to say the least, but knew there was nothing he could do about the disrespectful toad roaming the streets. So he settled to offer you an open arm for you to cuddle into him. You of course jumped at the offer and snuggled into the warm man.

You didn't want to go to bed and Benny knew that. Knowing you'd not have the effort to get up and both being quite comfortable where you both remained.

You spotted a book on the coffee table and looked up at Benny with puppy dog eye that you knew he couldn't refuse.

” will you read to me?” you pleaded.

He chuckled and lent forward to retrieve the book. It happened to be the hobbit. ( I know it's not for everyone but I know it's written before Benny time so apologies please roll with it)

As he started to read chapter one an unexpected party and began describing the hobbit hole. You felt yourself begin to doze off to the soothing tones and his other hand rubbing soft circles on your upper arm.

It wasn't how the night had supposed to go but you were with him now and you felt protected. Knowing he came to your aid.

(with regards to the slap Yes I know this is a little unrealistic it lasting that long but I once got one that lasted a few hours ( I’m not being hit just to clarify it was a joke with some pals who one of them was telling me about a slap match to see how much he could take and the other we were with friend had really went for it and it was actually shockingly sore and my drunk ass went I can take it and he was reluctant at first and then went to go and did it before stating that was hadn’t been hard enough and went again even harder and it left quite a mark and we all laughed so ya. ) but just pretend if you don’t think it would )

[headinthestaticsky]

The Phenomenon of the Immortal Sun: Jasper Hale x Fleur Swan, Chapter 5

None of the characters in Twilight belong to me, all rights go to Stephenie Meyer.

"Where did I go? When did the sun rise? How did I fall? Got lost in the moonlight."

Where did I go, by Jorja Smith.

At first, I didn't know where I was the room was pitch black. But then, I heard the water, my eyes opened... I was here again. The part of my mind that I was in during my transformation of being a vampire. But this time, a small yellow light filled the room. Its soft warm glow pulled me in and unfroze me from the wind that held me down. It was familiar yet nothing I had ever come across. I reached out to touch it, it was just out of my fingertips grasp when...I woke up... The sun was set by the time I woke again, it looked late out.

"Fleur...you're awake." Jasper said relieved, a small smiling was on his face.

I looked around the room, I saw the Cullens, my dad, Bree and... Seth? What was Seth doing here?

"What...happened."

Carlisle looked a little wearily before speaking.

"Well... I found out why your eyes have stayed red all of this time."

"Yes?..."

"Sometimes depending on the health, the human's body is in when they're turned into a vampire there blood can protect certain organs and systems...during the venom change, preserving it to be in its human state that before the human was turned."

"Uh, that is very interesting Carlisle but you do know my father is here right?"

"I know everything now Petal... I got a slight hint when you pushed that thing into a tree and it snapped in half..."

"Oh...okay. Wait, certain organs can be preserved by my human blood?"

"Yes...including the reproductive system..."

Dad, Alice, Dean, Emmett, Bree, and Seth left the room, wanting to leave the 4 of us alone.

"Oh..." I had to wait a few seconds for Carlisle's previous statement to sink in.

"OH..."

"Wait a second are you telling me I'm."

"Pregnant...yes." Jasper interrupted. He looked so happy, his eyes were lit up with joy. Rosalie looked like she was going to explode with excitement. I, on the other hand, was in shock.

"Umm...Not that I'm not happy with this pregnancy but...how can I conceive exactly... Jasper's a vampire..."

"Well certain aspects of a vampire area are replaced with venom, tears, saliva..." Carlisle started

"Okay, I think I got the idea. So me fainting in the woods was triggered by my son?"

"Yes, it...wait your son?" Carlisle inquired with a tinge of humor in his voice.

"I just have a strong hunch it's a boy," I replied.

"I don't know darlin, I think it's a girl."

"I'm with Jasper on this one Fleur... it's totally a girl." Rosalie added.

I giggled before my mind began to wander off...

"Carlisle, I can't even fight off a vampire without passing out, how am I going to be able to hunt? Is he a vampire or human?"

"We'll figure something out feeding wise but when I took an ultrasound I got a heartbeat, so I believe it is human... its heartbeat was slightly faster than a human baby but it's a heartbeat nevertheless."

"Do you know how long the pregnancy will last?" I asked.

"We're not sure, it is growing quite quickly so I don't think it will be a full 9 months."

"Okay, how did dad react to... everything?"

"He thought it was a joke at first." Jasper replied.

"But he eventually believed us, he's glad he knows everything now." Rosalie added.

"C'mon darlin, let's go to the lounge," Jasper said.

I went to get up but my legs were like jelly, I collapsed bracing myself on the table I was laying on.

"Whoa." I said quickly.

Rosalie and Jasper helped me up and guided me to the lounge room. I saw Seth and Bree sitting down with each other, holding hands and just talking amongst themselves. I laid down on the white couch, everyone was observing me.

"Uh... I called Bella, she said she and Edward are coming back early she said she wants to talk with you. She didn't sound to happy. " Dad explained.

"Dad... why did you call her? She's gonna try and kill me for taking her away from her 1 on 1 Edward time." I whined jokingly.

"Petal...you're a vampire, I don't think she'll have a chance," Dad said chuckling.

"Wow, that's a sentence I never thought I would say." Dad mumbled to himself.

"Edward hasn't turned Bella yet?" I inquired raising my head up to look at Carlisle.

"No, he didn't trust himself enough to do it."

"Well, I love you Petal I better get going, I'm beat." Dad leaned down and kissed my forehead.

"Love you too dad." The front door closed a few seconds later.

"So how long do I have before Bella and Edward come back?"

"They'll be here early tomorrow morning, 4 or 5 am," Esme answered.

"I'm going to end up getting my head ripped off." I mumbled, my head had begun to pound.

"I'm sure Edward will be fine with the situation." Esme comforted.

"And Bella?"

"Ehh... we'll see." Esme said ensuring.

Timeskip: 4:19 AM

I hadn't been pregnant for long and already my body was starting to feel its effects. My head constantly pounded and my thirst seemed never-ending. I couldn't move very far and I felt quite dizzy. Rosalie was sent out with Carlisle to collect animal blood for me since I wouldn't be able to hunt on my own. The rest of the Cullens left Jasper and I alone knowing I was overwhelmed with everything that happened. My head was on Jaspers lap and he was stroking my hair back, it was comforting. I could sense Bella and Edward had made it back to the house, her blood still made me sick. It was as if my senses were heightened, I could hear and smell even farther than I ever could before. I groaned and turned my head toward the couch.

"What's wrong darlin?"

"Bella and Edward are back...her blood is making me sick."

"Her emotions are giving me a headache," Jasper complained.

"Haha."

"You're so cruel."

Before I could rebuttal I heard the front door fly open, and the sound of two stomping feet entering the room.

"Why in the hell did I have to leave my honeymoon?" Bella asked demandingly.

I slowly raised myself up and turned toward them, both of there faces were screwed up with anger.

"Well one: dad got attacked by a vampire and found out our secret and two..." I stopped and looked at Jasper, an unsure look was on my face.

"She's pregnant," Jasper said for me.

"WHAT? That's impossible!" Bella screeched. I rolled my eyes and held my head.

"We need to get that thing out of you." Edward spat out, walking toward me. Jasper immediately got up and got in his face.

"Back off." He hissed.

"Guys! We could use some help in here!" I yelled.

Alice, Dean, Emmett, Bree, and Esme rushed in.

"What's going on here?" Esme asked, a stern look was on her face.

"How could you let her keep that...thing?!" Edward yelled.

"Excuse me, it's a baby dumbass." Emmett snapped.

"Oh, how do you know that?" Bella said, rolling her eyes.

"Carlisle said that when she was changed some of her human blood protected her reproductive system, so she could still have children. It's why her eyes have always been red. He also said the baby has a heartbeat so it's human." Alice said, I had never seen her so angry at Edward before. She was always so close to him.

"Just leave them alone Edward." Bree jumped in.

"You guys can't seriously believe that it's actually a baby, that things going to be evil just like her." Bella snided.

"Will you two ever shut the fuck up?" I mumbled.

"If you guys aren't going to take it out of her I WILL." Edward roared.

Jasper pushed him back, he fell into a piano smashing it. It reminded me of what happened to Dean a few years back. He got up to go back toward me but Emmett put a hand on his shoulder holding him back.

"Edward, Bella... all this fighting isn't good for Fleur right now!" Esme stated.

I heard two whooshing sounds, I looked over and saw Carlisle and Rosalie with bags of blood.

"What...the hell...what happened?" Rosalie stuttered.

"Oh I see it now, Rosalie must've convinced her to keep it." Edward said, Bella nodded in agreement.

"Edward...don't go there." Emmett growled. Edward didn't seem to listen and smirked.

"You're so desperate to have a child you're willing to let this...demon fulfill your pathetic fantasy."

Rosalie stepped up, her eyes turned black and the look on her face was set to kill.

"I never hesitated to kick your ass before but if you dare go near her Bella's going to have to chase your pretty little rolling head down the hill." Rosalie hissed at Edward. Edward slowly backs away from Rosalie, knowing he took it too far.

"Edward..." Carlisle started.

"Get that thing out of her." Edward snapped.

"If you call my baby a thing one more time I will kick you through the glass wall," I growled.

"Look... you guys came back so Bella could finally be transformed into a vampire, let's get this done already. Fleur doesn't need all of this stress right now. Since she's a vampire she'll be able to survive the encounter but it will still be stressful on her body." Carlisle states, walking both Bella and Edward into his office and closing the door. When they left I sighed and laid back down.

"I don't think I'll be getting any gifts from them." I said.

[dontshootmespence]

Teetering on the Edge

Summary: You and Dean are meant for each other, but in his line of work, he deems your relationship too dangerous for the long haul, pushing you away, leaving you both worse for the wear.

Pairing: Alpha!Dean x Omega!Reader

Word Count: 1,893

Warnings: Cursing, nausea, vomiting, fever, seizures.

A/N: This will fulfill my ‘pining sickness’ square for @spnabobingo​, soulmate au (same mark on each other’s skin that reaches for its counterpart when there’s distance between you) for @spnfluffbingo (sorry I never seem to be able to do strict fluff with supernatural characters XD) and ‘I’d rather be in danger with you than safe without you’ for @spnquotebingo​.

“What the fuck is wrong with you?” You screamed, racing down the stairs after him. There was no way he was going to walk away and pretend this wasn’t happening. Not anymore. “Don’t fucking walk away from me!”

Dean rounded on so fast it scared you. “Y/N, I am toxic!” He bellowed, stopping Sam in his tracks behind you. “Every, single, time I get involved with someone, they die! Monsters, hunters, angels, demons, shitty fucking humans! It doesn’t matter. They will use you to get to me!”

“So what?” You stormed into the kitchen and grabbed a bottle of beer, snapping the cap off through sheer anger before taking a long sip. Even alcohol wasn’t helping your rattling nerves. “When you love someone, you do things you wouldn’t normally do! Did I expect this life? No way, but I’m in it now and I’m in love with you, you fucking moron!”

He hesitated slightly, your words undoubtedly getting to him despite himself. “Well, I don’t feel the same way.”

Sam glared at him disbelievingly, not saying a word. Dean elbowed you out of the way of the refrigerator and grabbed another beer, downing nearly half of it before continuing. “I care about you. And I care about you enough to turn you away from me and this life.” 

“Don’t you fucking dare pull that neanderthal bullshit with me, Alpha!” You yelled your throat hoarse. Sam dipped out of the area and back toward his bedroom. It didn’t matter. Whether he was here or not, you’d be seething. “You don’t get to decide my life for me! Have you ever thought that maybe I’d rather be in danger with you than safe without you?” He readied himself to respond but you pushed against his shoulder with a force that startled even you. “Did you ever stop to think that I’ve waited my entire life to find the person I was supposed to spend the rest of my life with? And that now that I found him, I’ll be damned if I let him go?”

You were on a roll. Dean wanted to speak, but you wouldn’t let him. “No! You didn’t fucking think about what I want! Because your number one priority is to make sure you don’t have anymore blood on your hands. Well, guess what. You don’t get to do that. Not with me! When you care, you get blood on your hands. That’s just the way it is. I get to make my own damn decisions!” It all just exploded out of you. You kept screaming and crying and drinking to the point where you weren’t even sure what you were saying anymore. As you kept going, your arguments shifted from his demeanor to your own health. “You claimed me,” you said, pulling your sleeve aside to shove the mark in his face. “You know what’ll happen to me without you? I could fucking die!” 

Dean waited for you to stop ranting, steadily finishing his beer. Once you were all yelled out, he chose his words wisely. “There’s medication. You’ll be fine. You’re not going to change my mind,” he said flatly, trying to keep any sense of emotion out of his voice, even though you could tell he was right on the edge of acknowledging every amazing and shit feeling he was feeling in this moment. “I need you to get out of the bunker as soon as possible. For your own good.”

Without thinking, you reeled back and slapped him, open palm to cheek, relishing in the sound of the crack that reverberated throughout the bunker. “Fuck you, Alpha! Fuck. You.”

You kept his gaze as you dipped down to grab your bag. If he was going to pull this bullshit, he was going to look into your broken gaze and suffer while he did it. You weren’t going to be the only one to feel like jumping off the edge of a cliff. Fuck him. 

As you climbed the stairs, you glanced down at your hand and glimpsed the ring he’d given you. Boiling with anger, you ripped it off your finger and threw it at him, turning to leave before he could see the tears rolling down your cheeks.

----

You knew the possibilities. It could be as little as a fever and nausea that plagued you. Or it could go to the other end of the spectrum and kill you. With tear-stained cheeks, and no care for who saw you in this state, you headed out the night after your fight with Dean and meet with a doctor at an urgent clinic that specialized in working with omegas. After he checked your vital signs, he leaned against the wall. You felt no threat from him. He was an unassuming beta, which is why you tended to come here. “What can I help you with?”

“I was wondering if I might be able to get some medication to combat pining sickness?” You swiped the silently falling tears and snot from your face with the back of your sleeve. 

“You’re mated?”

“Yes, but my Alpha is a pig-headed, son-of-a-bitch in a dangerous line of work that thinks he’s doing me favors by staying away from me.”

“He knows how dangerous pining sickness can be, right?”

Nodding, you stared down at the mark on your hand, cursing its movement as another tear slipped down your cheek. “Yea, but he said there’s medication and he’s adamant that he’s too dangerous for me to be around.”

“He should’ve thought about that before mating with you,” the beta said angrily. When he met your gaze, his own softened. “I can give you something. I hope he comes to his senses, but if he doesn’t I can write up refills for as long as you need, okay?”

A strained smile was all you could muster as you took the prescription from him and bid him a good day, thanking him again for his time and understanding. Less than an hour later, your prescription was filled. One pill a day. Down the hatch.

----

Shakily, you took another pill. Five days since Dean had shoved you out of his life. It started with shakes and a fever, despite the pill. If you didn’t have the pill you might be dead already. 

Pain racked your body, tensed every muscle so badly you could do almost nothing but sleep. Pulling the covers back up over your head, you attempted to shut your eyes against the pain. Bile burnt at the back of your throat. You barely made it to the sink before the little food you’d been able to eat the last few days found its way back up and out. 

Wiping the remnants away, you fell back against the wall and slipped to the cold, hard tile. It took all the strength you had to reach into your pocket and call Sam. Dean wouldn’t pick up, but Sam might. And maybe he could convince Dean to pull his head out of his ass. 

“Hello? Y/N?” Sam asked, his voice growing more concerned when you didn’t answer him. “Y/N, are you there?”

You replied, your voice barely above a whisper, despite trying. “Sam, I’m not well. Dean won’t pick up. I’m shaking. I have a crazy fever, even though I’m on meds. I can’t sleep and it’s only getting worse. Every day. I feel like my insides are boiling. Please, talk to him.”

“You’re on medication?”

“Since the day after I walked out. It’s not helping. Without it, I’d be dead already. Please, Sam. Try. Or I’m not gonna make it.”

Sam’s reply got caught in his throat. “I’ll get him to pull his head out of his ass, I promise.”

A laugh escaped you, but it hurt. “It’s really far up there, Sam.”

“I know.”

----

Every movement felt like climbing a mountain. And every waking moment was a fight to keep living. You started having seizures and could barely keep any food down. Water was all you could stomach.

Another three days past before you heard from Sam again. “He’s immovable, Y/N. Is the medication helping at all?”

“No,” you sobbed, though no tears slid down onto your pillow. “I’m having seizures. I’m burning up. I’m trying to stay on my side so that I don’t choke if I have a seizure, but I’m- I’m not gonna make it. I need you to tell Dean that despite everything...I loved him.”

Hanging up, you tossed the phone across the room with the strength you could muster and teared up again at the sight of the mark on your hand. It had always reminded you of an oak tree, but now the leaves looked like tendrils, crawling across your skin in search of its counterpart. You ran your opposite thumb across the mark and fell asleep, not knowing whether you’d wake up the next morning.

----

Dim light shined into your eyes the following morning, practically blinding you. Your muscles were stiff, barely limber enough to prop yourself up in bed without searing pain, but you managed, taking another pill even though it probably wasn’t doing anything.

Taking a trip to the bathroom was a monumental affair, but on the way you grabbed your phone again. You were so tired. You weren’t going to make it another day. Teetering on the edge of an abyss.

Once again on the bed, you called Dean this time, not surprised when it went to voicemail. “Hey, Alpha. I just...I needed to call you one last time. My temperature’s 105. I can barely move my muscles. I’m having seizures. I won’t make it another day. I know I asked Sam to tell you, but I needed you to hear it from me. Despite everything, despite your bull-headedness and completely dumbassery...I love you. I knew when we first met, even before I saw the mark on your hand, that you were my soulmate. And even though I’m not going to make it, the years we spent together were the best of my life.”

The phone slipped from your grasp after you hung up, thudding against the sheets. Through the gossamer curtains, you marveled at the sun, remembered what it looked like the day you met Dean, before drifting off to sleep.

----

A strong grasp shook you awake.

“Alpha?”

“’Mega, ‘M here.”

When you opened your eyes, you saw his soft greens gazing back at you, filmed by tears as deep as the ocean. “Am I dead?”

“No,” he sobbed. “Mega, I’m sorry. I shouldn’t have pushed you away. I was a fuckin idiot. Stay with me.”

His hands slid up the dry, cracked skin on your arms and up your face. His touch was warm - home. “Fucking idiot would be an understatement.”

Something between a laugh and a sob left his lips. “I know. Baby, ‘Mega, open your eyes.” His thumb traveled back and forth over your cheek, coaxing your eyes to open. “That’s it. Just...stay with me, okay?”

He spoke to you as he stripped himself of his clothes and you of yours, crawling into bed behind you. When his skin melted into yours, you felt a modicum of relief. Something that gave you the slightest bit of hope. “Don’t leave me,” you whispered. 

His hand grasped yours, the mark on his hand melding with yours. “Never again.”

[lostonehero]

Tw sexual themes mentions of child abuse mentions of murder

"Remember Maxie instincts are a powerful thing, even on land you cannot escape them."

"You'll never be human you idiot."

"Humans are food not something you should desire to be."

"You're the weakest here."

"You deserve every punishment."

"You were the mistake of mating season"

"Follow orders like your older siblings."

"You need to be punished."

Maxie gasps as he jolts upright in his bed

The red head fumbled for his morning coffee that nightmare, well more like memories he hasn't had in such a long time. He sighs mixing in a red liquid to his coffee and drinks. Human blood wasn't hard to get and it helped keep his instincts from going nuts because he was hungry. He sighs shaking his head of memories he didn't want to remember.

"Hey Maxie I thought you were going to sleep in, it's our day off, and Steven keeps telling you to rest more so then your former admins." Archie chuckles placing his hand on Maxie's shoulder.

Macie sighs, Archie did worry about him, they were still new to the whole dating thing so they were taking it slow. "Bad dreams Archie didn't want to return to it."

Archie frowns a look of concern in his eyes. "Was it about that day." He trails off referring to the day they both summoned two titans to destroy the world.

"Actually no, just old memories of family." Maxie frowns sipping his coffee.

Archie slightly taken aback. "You had bad parents?"

Maxie froze forgetting that he was never really open with his past to Archie even now that they were together. He sighs letting his guard down. "My siblings were kind my parents however were not you've seen my scars Archie they were from the many punishments I received from them."

"That's horrible Maxie."

"Its been a long time since I've seen them so don't fret that much."

"Is that why you're iffy around my folks."

"Yeah..." Maxie sighs one secret down the next he wasn't ready to face let alone tell Archie.

"Shit sorry"

"Not your fault Archie, besides I like your family."

"Right good so uh did you put your iron stuff in the whole coffee pot?"

Maxie chuckles. "No Archie just my cup I know better then to repeat that."

"Good because your supplements medication or whatever you put in your drink is horrible."

"To you."

"To everyone Maxie."

Maxie chuckles feeling better talking to Archie.

......

"I swear Archie something is up with Maxie." Shelly frowns sharing lunch with Archie on there break.

"I would normally disagree, but he has been awfully clingy lately and a but er forceful in other ways." Archie sighs a light dusting of red on his cheeks.

"Is he hurting you? Archie I swear I'll kill him."

Archie slightly stunned. "No no no not at all, actually it's the opposite besides the bedroom. He has been giving me gifts and little trinkets for the past week, and he has been singing whenever we are alone just to me. Weirdest part is that I keep catching Maxie lingering by the beach."

"Shit Archie that lava nerd hates the ocean. Do you think he might be getting sick because his behavior is weirder then normal."

"I don't know Shelly, he'll everytime I try to ask he gets weirdly embarrassed and runs off."

"That rock head is being weirder then normal uh has the bite mark he gave you gone away yet?"

Archie frowns and shakes his head. "It turned black and the doctors said it wasn't infected."

"That can't be good."

"I don't know Maxie keeps getting embarrassed or mad at himself whenever I bring it up. I think he might be harming himself over it but I'm fine with it, and I keep trying to tell him that."

"I can ask Courtney to help get Maxie to the doctor."

"I want to try to help first."

"I get it but if Maxie is being self destructive again he needs more help then you can give."

"I know amd I never want him to go down that path again."

"Just be careful and keep that nerd safe I hate to say it but he is good for you."

Archie nods throwing out his trash. "Yeah I'll tell you if something changes."

......

"Leader Maxie." Courtney's deadpan robotic tone nearly made Maxie jump out of his skin.

"What is it." Maxie snapped then sighs rubbing his temples he needed to reel in his temper, I was smack in the middle of mating season and he already marked Archie, and they were going at it like buneray but it wasn't what he needed. He knew he needed to claim Archie in the water to complete the bind as mates and his instincts were drinving him up the wall as he kept denying the action.

"My apologies for bothering you but we are growing concerned with your recent behavior."

Maxie freezes rubbing his temples. "Have I been that bad?"

"We are concerned for your mental health."

"I'm fine Courtney I promise." He pauses and scowls. "Don't argue with me I just have some personal issues to sort through."

She frowns and watches Maxie leave. Something was wrong and she needed to figure out what.

.....

Archie was playing with his sharpedo on the beach when Maxie approached him. "Good job Bruce you are such a good boy."

Maxie glares and unconsciously growls getting Archie's attetion.

"Maxie what are you doing all the way out here I thought your admins made sure you got some bed rest. We are just worried about you I know you don't like being locked-" Archie's words are cut off as Maxie forces him into a deep kiss.

Archie pushes him away. "Maxie what has gotten into you? Shit I'm calling the doc-" again Archie is cut off when he hears Maxie begin to sing but it was different it was as if his body was reacting to the song and his body was yelling get into the water and let him finish the bond. Archie blacked out after that.

~~

Maxie woke up and he felt like he was floating then he realized he was in the water. A weight was on top of him as he drifted in the ocean. Then it clicked it was Archie sleeping on top of him as he floated on the waves. "Fuck " he cursed waking up Archie.

Archie woke up wet sunburned and his ass was so sore, also where were his clothes and why was he drifting in the middle of the ocean. Panic started to bubble up in his chest as he was gripped from behind unable to struggle out of the grasp.

"Archie relax I can explain."

"Maxie? Fuck this has to be a dream."

"Archie relax please I'll get us back to shore."

Archie breaths eventually evened out as Maxie began to explain as they made the long trip back and turns out Bruce was with them the entire time and Archie decided riding on him was better then Maxie.

"Maxie I'm sorry."

"Stop it's my fault I forced you to mate, and I didn't even stop and ask if it was OK I just sang and I used you."

"Maxie stop I would of agreed regardless I love you."

Maxie sinks deeper to hide his face before resurfacing and splashing Archie.

Archie laughs feeling the tension leave. "Wait is that why you were acting weird?"

"It was mating season amd I was courting you."

"Is that what the gifts were, and the bite mark was a marking?"

"Y-yeah."

"And the constant sex?"

"Yeah sorry."

"I mean I'm not I found out I was a bottom and a size queen I feel no shame in learning new things about myself."

Maxie huffs frustrated. "Why aren't you mad at me, I lied to you about what I am, I used you, I bonded and mated you without explaining or asking for permission."

Archie sighs. "I was more worried you were hurting yourself again, and it turned out like this so I'm more relived then anything, slightly annoyed because I'm dating a damn ironic bastard who is a sea creature I used to have fantasies about."

"You're disgusting." Maxie tries to cover up his blush as they continue making Archie laugh.

"You know you love me, and now you're stuck with me."

"I know that doesn't mean I can't get annoyed with you."

They devolved into some nice banter as they reach the shore until Archie breaks it asking a simple question.

"So this is a one time thing right? You bonded and mated me so you're good right?"

Maxie watches Archie go back on land picking up his discarded clothes. "Not exactly."

"What?"

"Next year I might knock you up." He says quickly enough Archie almost doesn't catch it.

"What? Maxie last time I checked I am a man and that's impossible."

"Last time I checked I'm a siren and sirens during mating season biology for humans doesn't matter.... I mean well " he frowns trying to find the right words. "You'll develop the parts if it takes and they will vanish once you have the kids."

Archie stays quiet and Maxie frowns flinching and biting his tongue.

"I can be a dad, we don't have to adopt?"

Maxie slightly taken aback. "Well I mean you could but I won't force you not like this."

"No Maxie I always wanted a family of my own and he'll with our history nobody in there right mind would let two criminals adopt or foster a child. But I can still be a dad " Archie rushes back into the waves and grabs Maxie's hands. "We can be dads."

Maxie can feel himself pur and go red at the same time. "Archie relax I want to get my instincts in check, and I don't need you making a fuss over this."

"You purr this day keeps getting better doesn't it."

Maxie huffs but doesn't push Archie away. "I need to explain my instincts to you and my behaviors." He sighs "could you maybe get me a fresh pair of clothes my tail kind of destroyed my pants and my back fin ripped my shirt in two."

Archie laughs as he runs off to get the clothes leaving Maxie red faced in the water.

......

Maxie hands Archie a very detailed list of several pages. "Here is a detailed list of my instincts and behaviors you may witness and experience, I've also made copies for our former admins since I trust them with my secret... and they also seemed concerned for my wellbeing the past few weeks."

Archie hums reading over the list then pauses. "So the jealously thing was unintentional?"

Maxie looks away. "Well you are my mate now and sirens can be very protective of there mates, and I don't want to share you."

"Why aren't you annoyed when I hang out with Matt or Shelly?"

"There your family, I mean not by blood but I" he grumbles. "I can tell that you guys are family."

Archie blushes. "That's actually really sweet." He continues to read then stops again. "Wait how are you going to tell the others?"

"We have a pool in this facility I'll show by example. Physical proof is hard to disprove."

"Alright but are you ok with this?"

"Its not like I have a choice Tabitha found my blood packets last month and I had to make an excuse for that, and they are already concerned with my recent behavior. " he frowns. "And its not like I haven't saved them from drowning before."

"You did?"

"I mean yeah Courtney can't swim, and Tabitha gets a panic attack when in the water so swimming isn't a option for him. It wasn't there fault I just happened to be close enough to save them."

"Thats really sweet. You really are a big softie."

"I have eaten many men Archie I am terrifying."

Archie gives Maxie a soft kiss making the shorter man blush.

[gingerteaonthetardis]

Hiya, darling! I hope your day/week will improve!

Here's what I want to ask:

1) top 5 items of clothing (your favourites, or maybe something from your own wardrobe)

2) top 5 comfort food

It will get better, love! 💌

thank you, dear. you're so sweet! 💚 i know things will get better soon. just trying to ride it out in the meantime...

but okay, i love talking about my favorite clothes, because my closet is my happy place!! pictures:

5) not shown, but... my rip-off birkenstocks, which i just got a few weeks ago. i basically haven't taken them off since i opened the box, they're so comfy.

4) my madewell denim shorts that got second-hand about... four years ago? best $15 + shipping i ever spent. they're black, paint-splattered, perpetually wrinkled from how often i wear them, and my mum-in-law hemmed the cuffs for me last summer, but she doesn't actually know how to sew any better than i do, so they turned out delightfully crooked.

3) my dark green, incredibly holey men's XL st. john's bay sweater, which i thrifted back in college. it's my comfort clothing item, my go-to when i'm sad or stressed or cold. funny story: the brand is so common around where i grew up that my brother thrifted an identical sweater and one time we both wore them to a family function.

2) my linen bloomers!! i got them from an etsy shop called bloemlinen and i wear them alllll the time. they're this lovely shade of pistachio green and wearing them brings me so much joy.

1) my top piece of clothing of basically all time, purely because i'm happy every single time i see it and it brightens my day to wear it, is my smokey the bear t-shirt!! i got it for... $7? maybe? at some department store back near where i grew up. i saw it on the rack and had to have it. it says "be careful, there are babes in the forest," and shows smokey surrounded by a bunch of adorable animals, and the serotonin this cheap ass shirt gives me is incalculable.

onto the next part! top five comfort foods...

5) mac and cheese, because i am apparently a toddler!! i have a dairy allergy, so i have to find alternatives, but when i get my hands on a good box, it always brightens my day.

4) fresh-baked bread. it makes me feel so at home, so warm and cozy, and i make it for myself as much as possible. rye bread is my go-to, since i can't tolerate much gluten without getting sick.

3) is it strange of me to say broccoli??? it's basically my favorite vegetable, and i will occasionally treat a head of broccoli like it's a meal, lmao. we keep a never-ending supply of it in our freezer so i never run out of it in dire mental health situations, where i don't have the spoons to prepare it myself.

2) avocado, basically on anything. on toast, as guacamole, on salads, in a sushi roll, just... any opportunity for me to eat an avocado, i will take.

1) peanut stew!! the origins of the recipe are in west africa, but i had it for the first time when my mum-in-law made it for supper. it's a very hearty, rich stew with so many wonderful warming flavors in it. lots of garlic and ginger, and of course, peanut butter! i made it for myself for the first time this winter, and i'm pretty sure i temporarily ascended, it made me so happy. and it's super forgiving as a recipe, so you can substitute lots of things. for example, i don't put chicken or really any meat in mine, and i used a bunch of different kinds of beans!

[adonis-koo]

tease

| 7 |

↳ Summary: You came with the intentions of your best friend landing a job as a stripper. You never meant to catch the eyes of the king stripper of the establishment- Jeon Jungkook, yourself. With what was supposed to be a harmless way of paying off college debt faster you find yourself falling into a very odd and passionate relationship with your new mentor. Between infidelity, passion and jealousy there’s never a dull moment at Cherry Bomb.

↳ Pairing: Stripper!Jungkook/Reader

↳ Genre: Smut, fluff, angst, drama, slice of life, relationship problems without the relationship, reader is such a shy baby protect her, MUTUAL pining, so much sexual frustration,  

Word count: 16k

Previous | Next

Song mood

Tags: Attempted thigh riding, semi dry humping, lots of teasing, JK and MC can’t keep their hands to themselves, daddy kink, mutual masturbation, thigh riding, dirty talk, dom!kook, sub!mc is anyone surprised? Heavy degradation, light spanking, MC has a big praise kink, multiple orgasms, overstimulation, lots of cum, JK is soft with aftercare :(

Warning: This story touches on both sexual harassment and abuse, please read with caution if any of these things are triggers to you. Additional warnings will be given when a chapter presents them.

Weeks had flown by, and before you knew it. You had been working at Cherry Bomb now for a little over two months and thankfully after your last altercation with Jungkook, your relationship with him had taken a turn for the better. Things weren’t perfect by any means and you still argued and bickered a fair bit, but nothing had ever lasted more than a few hours at most.

Performing had also gotten better as your confidence grew, unfortunately God just couldn’t let you have one victory without a major fail in the process. Your first private dance- went horrible.

Even weeks after the event you still cringed at the memory, you had a bad stomach bug at the time but insisted on working that week- to be fair it just ached most the time! You couldn’t even consider yourself sick! ...Unfortunately you had been incredibly nervous that day and the stomach bug you had made it even worse...the early dinner you had that day made its way up during your lap dance for the client….

You cried for over three days after it happened and just the thought made you burst into tears from pure humiliation. Jungkook had started cracking up when the client had went directly to him afterwards, covered in pile and his face twisted into the most vile and pissed expression you had ever seen, the client then proceeded to give him a full, long listed complaint as to why you were a horrible dancer.

He found it hilarious and the client ended up storming the building threatening to sue though it never happened- Jungkook was a laughing mess until he saw you were in tears and had since tried to be sensitive with the topic, though occasionally he still can’t help but let a snicker escape at your misfortune.

You’ve been sparse with your private dancing ever since, still scarred over the experience despite the countless times Jungkook coddled you saying ‘he just had his balls in a knot’ and your dancing was perfectly fine, as he’d also remind you accidents happen all the time.

Regardless you had still been reluctant to take on a ton of private dances still not quite gotten over the fear of it Jungkook had told you it was just bad luck and they’ve all had a few bad experiences with private dances and you shouldn’t let it stop you. But regardless you still had a few reservations.

Sweat had currently beaded down your neck as you finished your routine, laying on the floor as you sighed, pushing the strands of frizzy hair away from your head in frustration, why couldn’t you just get into the feel of the music? This was the fourth time you had tried and you still couldn’t get into the rhythm of it.

It was currently July and you were on break from college which allowed you to dedicate all of your time to Cherry Bomb but even now, you still seemed to struggle.

You thought for sure when you finally got the time off to dedicate yourself you’d become better but you still felt stiff in your movement and fillers had yet to get off your back about it, maybe you could run it again? Maybe then you’d finally channel your inner sexy stripper.

“Babygirl it looked fine,” Jungkook called from his spot, his manspread open and hands resting on his thighs, he had been patient enough to watch each time while giving corrections but now even he sighed not understanding why you were being so critical of yourself when you danced just fine, “Stop pushing yourself so hard, that’s my job.”

Groaning you sat up before scooting to the edge of the stage, letting your feet hang off it’s edge as you frowned, “I’m never gonna improve if I don’t, besides you used to make me go through it all the time.”

Jungkook clacked his tongue at you, not looking particularly sold on your words as you hoped he would, “That was back when your form needed heavy work and you weren’t used to sexualizing choreography.” He stood up as he walked up to the stage, grabbing your waist as he pulled you down before turning his chin down to look at you, “And furthermore I know when you need to be pushed and when you need a break. All you do is push yourself until you can’t go anymore, that’s not healthy baby.”

You were already rolling your eyes as you pushed past him mimicking his words silently with a childish expression, “Healthy my ass you’re the one who smokes half a pack of cigarettes anytime you make less the seven hundred a night!” You knew he had a point but that didn’t change the fact that you also had a point, improvement only came from hard work, that had been hardwired inside you long before you ever started working at Cherry Bomb, it was just who you were.

Jungkook unhinged his jaw in offense as he raised his brows, quickly hightailing you because he was never about to let you run your mouth without a fight of some sort, just as he told you when you first signed the contract, he wasn’t about to deal with a brat, “I could smoke a whole pack if I wanted too but I don’t baby! It’s called self control and that doesn’t have anything to do with my point!”

“Self control!?” You shouted whirling around. Nearly everyone in the room more interested in your bickering as they turned their heads back and forth between you both, “Smoking a half pack instead of a whole isn’t something to be proud of- the fuck!?”

You had only recently found out Jungkook was a stress smoker and had been on his ass ever since about it. Even if he didn’t have an addiction it wasn’t healthy and he could very easily become addicted if he wasn’t careful. You couldn’t help but worry about his health. But in another way you didn’t feel sorry for him given you were lucky if you made 200 in a night, let alone less than 700.

Jungkook’s lips puckered as if he had sucked on something sour and his eyes squinted into an irritable look as he huffed, “Don’t make this about me babydoll, this is about you being a perfectionist, push yourself any harder and you’re bound to pull a muscle- potentially rip one, or end up collapsing on stage from exhaustion and I am not letting that happen. So sit your little ass down and take a break this isn’t up for debate.”

You opened and closed your mouth several times, an indignant expression twisting on your face in offense as he raised his brows, daring you to put up a fight before you ultimately stomped your foot sending him a pouting glare before sitting between Rosé and Jimin.

“He isn’t lying Y/n,” Rosé hummed as she wrapped an arm around your shoulders, giving it a comforting squeeze, “You’ve improved a lot over the past few months, but things take time don’t worry about it. Honestly, if you keep it up you’ll probably get picked for Seasonella.” She sent you a wink making your lips quirk up though you weren’t sure what she meant.

Furrowing your brows despite your smile you tilted your head, “What do you mean?” You had heard the term thrown around a few times in the past but more and more recently the name Seasonella had started popping into filler conversations you had overheard.

Jungkook had a large frown on his face, a harsh line between his brows with an unappreciative glare towards Rosé making you all the more curious from his look, was Seasonella something bad? “Rosé don’t.”

She curved a brow at him as she scoffed, obviously both annoyed at his expression and not feeling threatened as most would in her shoes, if there was one person who never cared about Jungkook’s moodiness or glare’s it would be her, “What, don’t tell me you seriously don’t think they’d pick her.”

You glanced between them both, even more confused than before as you frowned, what did they mean? Why would you be picked, and what for? Was it some sort of competition like SSU?

“Oh I don’t doubt she would be picked but that doesn’t mean she’s actually ready,” Jungkook replied, an odd defensive note in his voice before he turned towards you, his shoulders relaxing a little as he continued, “Beside’s we’re aiming for SSU, right babygirl?”

The Solo Step Up, was a competition held every year to pick a new soloist and was won through crowd favor. It gave everyone a fair chance though you had learned that wasn’t the only way to be moved up. The competition was still well over two months away but that didn’t stop people from already prepping, you included.

Jungkook and you had equally agreed it was an attainable goal, you weren’t necessarily set on winning. As the only person who had ever won in under a year was Jungkook himself which was how he had earned his title as the King. He had pure, raw talent honed with technique from Namjoon, you doubt you could replicate that, let alone in less time than him.

Jungkook had agreed you’d most likely need more time but winning crowd favor, even if it wasn’t enough to win, was still a good plug for yourself and would make chances of winning next year close to unbeatable.

That being said, perhaps that was why you had been pushing yourself so hard. You wanted to come across as desirable as you could and win as much of the crowd over as possible. Chan Hee, had been absolutely dominating the stage and even you couldn’t deny that. She always made things difficult when you got paired in group dances together and often times, you’d make even less money a night because of her.

Not only did she have the body to flaunt but she was inherently sexual, which wasn’t a bad thing, clearly, but she had a much easier time with it than you. Rather then vehemently denying her talent like a lot of other fillers, you had found yourself often studying her, trying to figure out how she did it. But you always ended up coming to a dead end, she was just a natural and would definitely win by a long shot.

“Yeah, but- what’s Seasonella?” Jungkook groaned at your curiosity as you tilted your head once more, glancing around everyone as you shrugged, “Well I’ve just heard a lot of the other fillers talking about it, seems like a big deal.”

Jimin was the one to speak up as a smirk coiled on his face, “Well that’s because it is- for fillers. Seasonella is kind of like a big VIP party one of Cherry Bomb’s biggest clients and sponsors throw in Las Vegas USA every year. Soloist’s are automatically on the ‘list’ of entertainment, so it’s just another job for us. The client and his son come every year though to hand pick some of the fillers they want to work the party as well, outside of SSU it’s another really good way of getting recognized by upper management here and possibly promoted.”

Your lips parted in almost delight at the idea. You weren’t honestly sure why Jungkook thought you couldn’t handle it. You wouldn’t question him though mainly because you were still stuck on private dancing even after two months and you still only made 50 a night any time you danced next to Chan Hee, the reason he didn’t want you to go was obvious. Even if it was a good way to get recognized and despite Rosé’s words. You just didn’t see that happening for you, realistically speaking.

Not only that but you’d agree you didn’t necessarily feel ready for anything big like a VIP party for Cherry Bomb’s biggest clients and sponsors. Talk about pressure to perform well. Jungkook only frowned as he leaned back on his hands, “It’s a good way to get recognized but half the fillers don’t know what they’re signing up for. Baby if I’m being honest, it’s not even your dancing I’m worried about,”

He looked as if he wanted to explain himself briefly, as if not wanting you to assume he doubted your ability though that wasn’t even your problem, “Strippers are bought there and even though it’s technically your choice, you don’t really get a say so. Not to sound like an asshole but…” He glanced away, rubbing the back of his neck as he sighed, eyes looking a little hesitant, “You don’t have the sexual experience or personality to handle being thrown into that your first year.”

You could tell he had no intentions of offending you as you watched the concern wash in his eyes, if anything you could feel your cheeks burning up at his words. Did he...really think you were that inexperienced? Sexually? That wasn’t even his point, but you were stuck on those words in particular.

For the first time, you found yourself not wanting to be seen so childishly. You glanced away from him, struggling to keep your face from showing any emotion as you replied, “No I get it- It’s not like I really wanted to go anyways, I was just curious on what it was.” It was the truth, you had no plans of going against him on that but still...Inexperienced?

For the first time in your life, you found a fire burning inside you wanting to desperately prove him wrong. Maybe that would be your motivation tonight.

Jungkook stayed up by the bar thumbing the ring around the beer he held as he sat on the bar stool, having got off an hour ago, but he couldn’t help himself to stay longer just to watch you dance. Eyes focusing on the performance ahead, you where in the last half of your dance as you turned your back to the audience, pushing down the shorts you had been teasing the crowd with the whole time to reveal the black lace cheeky panties.

He couldn’t help but chuckle at the sight as the whistles rang out in the crowd, money being thrown at you left and right as he shook his head.

If only you could see how much progress you genuinely made compared to your first week and now. He clacked his tongue, the small proud smirk coiling on his face as the bright smile adorned your face as you left the stage, dancing through the audience, nipples perked at the air of the room and your pretty hair messily over your shoulders.

The one thing that had changed the most about your performance, in Jungkook’s eyes, was how much you seemed to enjoy it now, compared to when you first started. And from an outside perspective no matter how sexy a filler was, it just couldn’t compare to that bright smile on your face when you’d slut drop down before sticking your ass out right in front of the clients chair. The money almost hurriedly shoved into the hem of your stockings as you quickly turned to the next chair.

It had took him forever, but Jungkook had finally figured out what your strong suit was when it came to stripping. Everyone had a strong suit needed to be played up. And after last month he realized what yours was.

You probably didn’t even realize it but you loved teasing the audience. Those semi shy smiles but they had a coy cool tone to them compared to normal, the winks you’d throw their way while running your hands over your body. Your whole disposition changed, you had fun on the stage and it showed. That’s when Jungkook started catering choreography more towards your strong suit, making sure your costumes suited your stage personality. And that’s when real progress started being made.

The rest had been history. You were good, you just didn’t see that yourself yet.

Heading to the stage you couldn’t keep the grin off your face as you collected the money, so many ones laid all over the ground and you knew you had done well tonight. There had to be over a hundred at least tonight. Piling them up you pulled them into a messy stack as you pranced to the staff area ready to count your earnings for the night.

You had been looking forward to tonight as it was Jimin’s birthday and he wanted everyone over to celebrate and there was no better way to end a day of work like having a hands filled with cash.

What you hadn’t expected though was the person who called out your name, “Y/n.”

Freezing where you stood you felt your heart rate spike at the sound of the voice as your lips quivered, turning around you had never felt more exposed then the moment you turned around to meet the hellfire gaze of your ex boyfriend, “Hanjae?” How in gods name did he even think to come here, of all places to look for you?

You knew it didn’t look good, you were in nothing but cheeky panties and a pair of clear stripper heels, piles of money in hand as you skittishly backed away, self consciousness suddenly lighting through your veins like wildfire at his disgusted, sneered glare, “So this is what you’ve succumbed to huh?” Hanjae snapped out, stalking closer to you as you feebishly backed away, “Dancing like a whore for money? God what the hell happened to you Y/n? You used to be so innocent and you’ve let the wrong people fucking ruin you.”

He sounded as angry as he looked before suddenly grabbing at your arm in an iron hold,pain shooting against your skin as you winced, his voice steel and low as he spoke, “Come on, get dressed, if you needed money that bad you should’ve told me instead of trying to push me away and sell yourself.”

“I-I…” You were in shock at first before quickly pulling away, anger flooding your body as you felt a pang an indignant pang in your stomach, “I’m not selling myself you dick!” You had never seen Hanjae’s brows shoot up the way they did at your uncharacteristic words before you gave another tug on your arm in an attempt to pull away from him, “This is my job and I’m not going anywhere with you! Now get the fuck out of here before I call security.”

How dare he! Just because you were a stripper didn’t make your work any less hard, your feet were scarred with blisters, had bled from them digging into your feet, you couldn’t count the amount of pulled muscles you had gained and the amount of creeps you dealt with on a day to day basis. Being a strip worker didn’t make your job or you any less valid! How dare he insinuate that it wasn’t!

Hanjae’s glare sharpened as he squeezed harsher on your arm, a pained whimper escaping your lips and tears threatening to sting your eyes at the throb in your arm as he snapped, “This is not your job, you’re making yourself so easy for men and that’s not who you are. Get a fucking hold of yourself.”

You had parted your lips once more to snap back at him but before you could even say anything Hanjae was suddenly pulled away from you, hauled up into the hands of Jungkook’s tight knuckled grip on his shirt, his broad back facing you as he growled, “Listen here you little freak, if I ever fucking see you touch her like that again, I will personally break every finger on your hand. Now you heard her, get the fuck out of her.”

Jungkook had let go of his shirt, intending to turn around to check on you before he was suddenly shoved back, “Oh, I should’ve known you were the cause of this, what are you?” Hanjae sneered, “Her little fucking puppy? You know she doesn’t love you, right?”

You swallowed thickly at the way Jungkook’s shoulders tensed and before you could even reach out to calm him down his knuckle had already curled into a fist that was sent directly into Hanjae’s path and just as you had seen countless times, Jungkook never missed his target.

Everything happened so fast, Hanjae had stumbled back and before he could even recover Jungkook had already hauled him up, shoving him against the wall where another punch was thrown, and another, and another one after that.

Before you knew it security had hurried over and it still took Hoseok pulling Jungkook away to get him to stop, his knuckle swollen and blood trickling down your ex’s face but Jungkook didn’t relent as he growled, “Next time I see you, you’ll be fucking lucky to have them stop me.”

“Next time you’ll be the one eating dirt you whore fucker.” Hanjae sneered out, Jungkook was quickly riled up again as he struggled to lunge back at him, Namjoon had already been hurrying over, quickly grabbing Jungkook as well to hold him back while Hanjae tried to reach back for him, the security hauling him away as he thrashed.

“Easy Jungkook, cool down.” Namjoon sighed, both him and Hoseok still struggling to keep him back as he glared holes into Hanjae’s figure. Jungkook quickly snapped at them both to let him go, and reluctantly they did so as his eyes quickly locked onto your figure, anger residing briefly before concern took over, “Are you okay babygirl?” He quickly pushed away from both friends as he gently grabbed your forearms, eyes washing over your body to check for any marks left behind, “Did he hurt you?” His words had a sour tone now, as if pissed at just the idea making you swallow before quickly shaking your head.

“Hey, hey, hey! Look at me,” You quickly grabbed his attention that was now redirecting to where Hanjae had been dragged off too, “I’m fine Guk, it’s fine.” He still didn’t seem sold on your words, his jaw still clenched and his eyes lingering on the exit, almost looking as if he wanted to follow just to continue beating the life out of your ex.

He huffed before glancing back at you, his grip on you opposite of his sour gaze, “Come on, get dressed in my room, that was your last dance right?” You nodded as he quickly wrapped an arm around your shoulder, pulling you along back into the staff area of the building.

You had gathered your bag, packing up before pulling on the robe and making your way to his dressing room. Opening the door you peaked in before coming in fully, Jungkook had been pacing, running a hand through his hair, still huffy at what had happened as he glanced at you briefly, “Honestly Y/n, how could you ever be with such an asshole?” He huffed, jaw clenched as he collapsed down on the couch, almost looking like a brooding child as he tucked his tongue into his cheek, “What a fucking dick, why didn’t you come get me?”

You clacked you lips, raising your eyebrows as you set your bag down on his vanity, taking off your robe as you sat down and began to get changed, “Jungkook you got off shift an hour ago, how was I supposed to know you were still at Cherry Bomb?”

You glanced in the mirror to watch his lips part and close several times, wanting to object before his face soured again, looking away from you as he huffed once more, obviously knowing you were right before he muttered, “Still, he’s lucky I didn’t break his jaw right there. Has he been stalking you?” He suddenly demanded, as if fired up again at the idea, “We’re going to get a restraining order if he keeps this shit up.”

“Yeah, yeah okay,” You replied dismissively, more focused on your stockings you unclipped from your garter belt as you pulled them off, “I’m being serious!” Jungkook snapped though his tone held no real bite, you only waved a hand, making his lips part indignantly at your dismissal. Sighing you stood up as you faced him, “Jungkook it’s fine, really, outside of the occasional wall of text he sends me he hasn’t tried to get into my apartment-”

“I’d hope to fuck he hasn’t!” Jungkook cut you off with a growl, as he shifted around in his seat. You had learned to never take him completely serious when he got like this, thus your dismissal though you’d admit. Hanjae finding you at work did have you a little spooked. Jungkook had changed the lock out on your door after the last incident two months ago and since then you didn’t have a problem.

Occasionally Hanjae would find you out in a diner or at the mall but he’d never actually had the chance to really argue with you. Sighing you grabbed the bra from your bag before hooking it and pulling it over your shoulders, “Jungkook!” You chided him making him look away from you, refusing to let his broody expression go, at times, he truly was like a child, “Look at me, I’m completely fine. I was just taken aback at him being here, that’s all. Besides I doubt he tries anything after what you did.” You adjusted the bra before pulling the sweat pants out of your bag.

“He’s lucky Hoseok got there when he did,” He replied lowly, eyes now casted on his knuckle which was red and appeared a little swollen, “Would’ve did a lot more than that if they had let me. Little bitch deserves it.”

Sighing you pulled the shirt over your head before walking over, taking a seat on the couch beside him, he still refused to look at you, not wanting to let go of his broodiness which truly did make him look like a toddler, “Koo,”

“I told you not to call me that,” Jungkook turned away from you, his brows furrowing making you snort a laugh which made his shoulders more tense, obviously still not over the situation.

Sighing you let your gaze soften slightly before scooting a little closer, “Look at me,” He still refused making you clack your lips before delicately grabbing his jaw, feeling his warm skin beneath your touch and the tension that held in his jaw, “Come on, look at me I’m fine,” You pulled his gaze towards you, his broody expression threatening to drop as you cupped his face, letting your fingers graze down his jawline, “You already threw hands with him, you stopped him from hurting me, what more do you want?”

Jungkook tried to sport his brooding expression but couldn’t at the feeling of your small hands practically petting against his jaw forcing it to relax against your touch, “Maybe a thank you,” He replied with a murmur, though you could tell he was just using that as an excuse to keep being huffy, laughing you gave a nod before crawling up into his lap, hands suddenly wrapping around you as you buried down into the crook of his neck, pressing a shy kiss against his skin as you smiled, “Thank you Guk.”

You felt his nose bury down into your hair, his body finally relaxing as he murmured, “Always babygirl.”

“Come on, don't be a little bitch,” Jimin tried to coax you as you laughed shaking your head as you held your arms in front of you. Most people usually went out partying for their birthdays, but given you and all of your friends worked in a strip club the inclination was not there.

Instead everyone was in comfy clothes or pajamas, a bottle of half drank whiskey was out and a movie had been running in the background, it was perfect.

The vanilla cake with buttercream frosting had been cut into and admittedly, you were part of the reason it was nearly gone, and already working on your third slice as Jimin tried to coax you into a line of shots, “I’m a lightweight Jimin once I start I won’t stop.”

“Oh so you’re basically Namjoon but smaller?” Seokjin snorted, taking the bottle to put more in his cup of soda as Namjoon shot him an unappreciative glare, “Come on live a little Y/n, Jungkook can take you home if you get wasted, I don’t think I’ve ever even seen you drunk.”

Drinking together had happened quite often, so you’d give him merit to his words. You weren’t a drinker yourself and always suffered terrible nausea afterwards, thus forcing you to not partake as you always had a bad hangover the day after.

You pouted before sighing, watching Jimin throwback another shot, his cheeks already flushed and you could tell he was beginning to walk the fine line of sober and drunk, “I’m not going to force Jungkook to be my babysitter while we aren’t at Cherry Bomb, I’m cool just eating cake,” You pointed at your half ate slice before smiling, “In fact, I’ll probably go for a fourth here soon.” Plopping another piece in your mouth you gave a smile. Namjoon sat down beside you as he pulled an arm around your shoulder, “Not all of us have to get wasted to have fun.”

Namjoon was usually the only other sober person besides yourself and Jungkook and therefore you had shared the bond of the few sober people left, Jungkook, you had found out wasn’t particularly fond of drinking either, though according to Jimin he wasn’t a lightweight.

“Alright that’s it,” Seokin stood up as he grabbed an empty shot glass, making you instantly object as he poured the contents into it, walking over as he put the shot in front of you, “It’s my personal task to get you to loosen up and get wasted tonight.”

Your expression puckered into a sour one as you glared down at the shot, you could hear Seulgi laughing near the couch with Hoseok as she called out, “Y/n never cuts loose, that’s a lost battle Seokjin.”

Whipping around your lips parted, slightly offended at her words. You could relax! You just didn’t need to be wasted to do so! Huffing, you could tell Jungkook had been rubbing off on you as the need to prove her wrong rose in your stomach. You could drink, just because it wasn’t your go to didn’t make you any less fun. Clacking your lips you suddenly grabbed the shot before knocking it back.

Your face distorted at its taste and your throat burned but you took it like a champ before waving Seokjin for another round, his grin brightening as he brought the bottle over and Jimin was already cheering you on, “Uh are you sure Y/n?” Namjoon asked, a little concerned for you as Seokjin gave less than two shits and preferred enabling you.

You gave a relaxed nod as you smiled, “I’m fine! I know what to call it quits.” You cheered your shot towards him before taking a second one, you could relax perfectly fine. Maybe they were right, it had been forever since you drank anyways and tomorrow was Sunday anyways, one of the few precious days off to sleep in.

“Look this is important to me okay?” Jungkook raised his brows as he sat out on the bed, having been pulled aside by his bestfriend who was pacing around the room, that signature anxious look on his face he only dawned when it was about his lover.

Sighing Jungkook shrugged before asking, “Okay? What’s up?” He knew he was in for the long haul when his best friend sighed, pulling out the black velvet box from his pocket, Jungkook’s eyes widened as he spoke, “Oh shit, you were serious?”

Taehyung had been debating the idea for countless hours to him about proposing and honestly? Jungkook didn’t really care but he’d be supportive regardless of his friend’s decision, but to see the pretty diamond ring sparking in it’s holder still had him a little taken aback, Taehyung only groaned at his expression, wondering why he expected anything less, “Of course I was being serious. I love her man, I just, we’ve been living together for awhile now and I figured, let’s just tie the knot, y’know? Yeri’s cousin just got married recently and she’s been talking non stop about when we do one day, I just figured...Why one day when we can now?”

Sighing Jungkook leaned back against his hands, still apprehensive about the idea, he had been an ass when they were younger sure and he gave Yeri a hard time definitely, he could always owe up to when he was a dick. But still, marriage was a bit...Maybe he just didn’t understand? Shrugging he decided to give as neutral of a reply as possible, “Sure I guess.”

“Oh my god,” Taehyung muttered under his breath, irritated at both Jungkook for his lack of real opinion and himself for expecting more of an answer, Jungkook only gave a hum as he shrugged again, watching his best friend pace back and forth before running a hand through his hair, “Dude can’t you be a little more helpful?”

Holding up his hands Jungkook raised his own brows before scoffing, “You think I know shit about girls let alone proposing? Just ask Y/n, she’d probably be more help than me.”

“Just you wait you little shit,” Taehyung huffed, running a hand through his hair once more as he rolled his eyes, almost daydreaming about the day Jungkook wouldn’t be such an emotionally constipated idiot, “You’ll be in my position eventually.”

Clacking his lips Jungkook mirrored his expression as he rolled his own eyes, just the idea made him shudder and everyone knew he was not about that kind of life. Opening the door to the closed room as they both began to walk down the hallway, “Doubt it, you know how I feel about marriage.”

Snorting Taehyung glanced at him in disbelief, “What the one where you actually wanna get married and have a traditional wedding because you’re that guy?” Taehyung placed the small box back in his pocket, a small anxiety still in his heart unsure of when or where the right time would be to pop the question.

“The one where I doubt I’ll find a girl to even marry dipshit,” Jungkook replied, sighing as he gave a careless shrug as they walked down the hall, “Besides I have too much baggage for anyone to want to deal with anyways. I don’t see the big deal, just ask her, she’d say yes regardless.”

Taehyung glared at him briefly, “You can’t just ask a girl to marry you Jungkook-”

“Hell yeah you can,” Jungkook snorted back, a dumb grin on his face that made Taehyung glare at him with the strong urge to punch it right off his face, ignoring his friends over dramatization Jungkook jabbed him with his elbow, “Imma fucking propose while eating my girl out just to prove your ass wrong, just you wait.”

He only facepalmed as Jungkook laughed, patting his back reassuringly before he continued, “All jokes aside you’ll know when the time is right, don’t rush anything, it’s not like you guys don’t have forever.”

Sighing Taehyung looked a little downcast but nodded his expression however, quickly twisted into mild shock as his eyes suddenly perking up as they entered the living room, sighing as he muttered, “Oh jesus christ.”

Confused Jungkook glanced up as well, eyes widening to saucers at the hot mess the living room had become under the twenty minutes they both had been gone.

Yeri had long since become drunk, sniffling in front of the mirror as Rosé continuously gave her an empowering speech, though her own words were jostled and slurred as Yeri cried while nodding in the mirror. Hoseok had already been passed out on the couch and Seulgi was on her way out as well.

The more horrifying sight was his own trainee on the barstool straddled in Jimin’s lap, his lips attached to your neck but your focus was on the near empty bottle of whiskey that you shakily poured into your cup, accidentally spilling most in the process, “M-mm!” You whined with a hiccup, his plump lips working down your neck as you closed your eyes, finally dropping the bottle on the counter as it’s contents spilled out.

You couldn’t even remember how many shots you had took and your mind was hazy, body burning up and wetness pooled between your legs at the feeling of Jimin’s swollen erection in his own sweatpants that brushed against your thigh.

Jimin placed his hands on your hips, encouraging you as you bucked against him, giving another whimper at the friction that pressed into your clit, your mind hazy and not even properly realizing what position you sat yourself voluntarily in. You gave an even bigger whine at suddenly being picked up, the pleasure you had been chasing after quickly disappearing, “What the fuck do you think you’re doing?” Jungkook growled between you both as he held you close, his grip tight and had you been sober you would’ve noticed both the protective and jealous leer in his expression.

You however, weren’t sober at all and therefore struggled against him uselessly in attempt to sit back in the warm lap that made you feel so good. Jimin’s cheeks were flushed as he drunkenly stood up, swaying a little before poking Jungkook’s chest though he himself looked more affected by it as he laughed, “Jealousy isn’t a good look of you Guk (hic) you should get that checked out.”

You let out a small whine, kicking to get out of Jungkook’s arms but he didn’t relent, in fact, it seemed to make him only squeeze you tighter as he glared down at the blonde, “Fuck off. We’re leaving Y/n.” Your lips parted several times at the use of your name before pouting, letting him grab your phone before saying goodbye to Taehyung and Namjoon, the only two sober people left before making his way out of the apartment.

Jungkook set you down, swaying you suddenly giggled, taking a wobbly step forward, the world around you seemed to be spinning yet it only seemed to make you laugh, what a strange world! “(hic) Why is the floor spinning Koo?” Accidentally leaning too far back you almost fell down before Jungkook quickly herded behind you, catching you as he sighed, maybe he shouldn’t of been surprised but he didn’t honestly think someone as tiny as you could actually get so wasted in such little time.

But clearly you weren’t lying all those times you told him you were lightweight. But this? No this was featherweight. Sweeping you off your feet he carried you with ease as he glanced down at your figure, “Fucking hell baby, how much could you drink in twenty minutes?”

“Mmm,” You ignored him, your eyes glassy and dilated, looking spacey and more interested in the bulge of his muscles that proudly flexed while carrying you so effortlessly, your arms happily wrapped around his neck before pressing your nose into it’s crook as you swung your feet, “You’re so (hic) strong Koo.” he sighed at the feeling of your soft lips peppering his neck in kisses with another little hiccup, “Are we (hic) getting food?”

Jungkook wrinkled his nose as he carefully walked down the stairs of the apartment complex, making sure to hold onto you a little tighter (much to your delight) as he sighed, “No babydoll, you need some water and sleep.”

His words made your mouth gape before twisting into a big puppy pout, you kicked your feet around before whining into his neck, Jungkook didn’t relent though despite your childishness, not wanting to have to clean up the bile that you would undoubtedly throw up if he took you out to eat, “No buts, you already had way too much cake, you’ll be lucky to keep that down on the ride back home.”

You were already whining again, your grip on his neck tightening as you begged, your tummy rumbling though you weren’t sure if that was a good thing, eyes watery as you whimpered, “But…! I-I’m- (hic) but I’m hungry!” Jungkook paused at the bottom of the stairs, closing his eyes as he inhaled through his nose, feeling the wet substances of tears trickling against his neck, “Guk!” you cried softly before giving another pathetic little hiccup that had been breaking your voice anytime you spoke, had he not been so focused on taking you home he would’ve found a moment to laugh and address how cute it was.

Jungkook felt a piece of his will chip away at your tears, mainly because he couldn’t stand to see you cry, even if it was because you were completely drunk and just wanted to impulse eat, “Baby no,” He concluded softly, walking towards his car as he shifted his grip on you to one hand briefly to pull his keys from his pocket, “You’ve had too much to drink, we can get something to eat in the morning.”

He almost wanted to groan at the sob that emitted from his neck, your hands now coiled around him tightly as you threw a fit, Jungkook let out a silent sigh, feeling as if he should’ve known you’d be ten times more melodramatic than when you were sober when you didn’t get your way. Unlocking the car he set you down in the passenger side, struggling to get you to let go before he paused, kneeling down “Hey, look at me baby.”

Hiccuping you finally looked at him, your eyes bloodshot and pupils dilated more than normal, you looked like a sad little puppy with watery eyes and fat crocodile tears running down your cheeks as he cupped your face, “You can’t eat baby, you’ve had a lot of cake already and I don’t want you getting sick,” he explained softly while wiping your tears as you let out a string of ‘But’s’ along with another hiccup, “Shhh,” He hushed you as you softly shed a few more tears, “We’ll get something to eat in the morning, but we need to get home baby.”

Letting out another gentle sob you finally let go of him while defeatedly curling your knees into your chest, shutting the door Jungkook groaned, running a hand through his hair. He left you for twenty- not even twenty it had to be fifteen minutes and they...He forced his jaw to relax as he sat in the drivers side, deciding to not think about it or else he’d go back in there and find out who put you up to drinking.

The car ride had went smooth for the most part, after three minutes you had forgotten why you were crying to begin with and had happily talked about dogs almost the whole way home before you started crying again, mainly about dogs and why you were allergic to them and how life wasn’t fair. Jungkook couldn’t help the snort that escaped his lips in the process, which caused an ocean of tears from you making him hurriedly attempt to soothe.

You were half passed out by the time he got you out of the car, pulling out the key to your apartment before unlocking the door and carrying you inside, letting out a sigh he laid you down on your bed as you murmured in a sleepy, small voice, “(hic) you aren’t leaving me. Right?”

“You need to get some sleep babydoll,” Jungkook tried to stand straight but your grip on him coiled suddenly babbling about how men were heartless and women should create a harmonic society like amazons where women would never have to deal with men again, all because he said, you. needed. sleep.

“Okay, okay, fine.” Jungkook sighed, making you scoot over excitedly, your grin was hard to deny as you bounced in your spot as he laid down, almost immediately crashed down on top of him, nuzzling into his neck as he wrapped his arms around you, “You’re a handful you know that?”

Fumbling you placed your hands on his chest, propping yourself up a little to look at him as you replied, “But I’m (hic) your baby, I’m worth it.” You flashed him a closed eye smile.

Jungkook couldn’t resist the urge to laugh as he rubbed a hand down your back, his gaze soft and affectionate at how silly and cute of a drunk you were, unable to deny your words he let a small smile pull on his lips, “My baby huh? Still doesn’t make it easy for me.”

You wiggled against his touch, looking like a stretched out cat who’d be purring by now at the affection he showered you in, what Jungkook hadn’t expected was your legs to slot on either side of his thigh before wiggling your hips, giving a little whimper in the process, “What do you think you’re doing babydoll”  Jungkook raised an eyebrow, unable to keep the smirk off his face as he let his hands find their way to your hips.

He watched for a moment, almost mesmerized at the way your hips so fluidly rode down against his thigh even while drunk, letting out a soft moan at the friction in your clit building up, heat pooling between your thighs and the lacy panties you wore ruined by wetness, “Mmm! Feels so good daddy.”

You dragged your hips down his thigh with a soft whine, it took nearly every fiber of strength Jungkook had to lay still before groaning, the feeling of your little, messy, wet cunt spread open while riding along his thigh almost too much to bear, those pretty cheeks dusted red and those watery eyes could have him on his knees in seconds as you let out a soft whine, “Daddy, touch me.”

Before you could even beg Jungkook suddenly grabbed you, flipping you onto the bed. You body flooded in excitement at being underneath him, what you hadn’t expected though was for his crushing weight to be on top of you rather then hovering over you, “Guk!” You cried out, your body begging and burning up in need of friction, making you frantically try to rub your hips into his but his weight prevented you from doing so, the only thing you could feel was his hardened length teasingly pressed into the top of your thigh.

“You’re way too drunk for this babydoll, get some sleep.” He pressed his nose into your neck while closing his eyes, ignoring your pleas and cries as you tried to shuffle underneath him,

“B-but! I’m so wet! I need you, now!” You whined out with another hiccup, tears trickling down your face again at being unable to sate the crave your body burned for as you begged, “A-and you’re so hard Guk please, please, (hic) please! I need your cock inside me so bad daddy.”

Jungkook assumed when he got you home it would get easier, now laying in bed with you begging for his dick he realized that obviously wasn’t gonna be the case. Sighing he ignored the drunken filth you’d be mortified at on any other occasion, “Tell you what babydoll,” he lifted his head to acknowledge you, secretly hoping you’d stop because his dick was beginning to throb in pain and at this rate he’d just have to blow a load in the bathroom by himself once you fell asleep, “If you’re really that horny in the morning you can ride my cock before I even wake up, sound good?”

You stayed quiet for a moment, almost looking adorable before murmuring, “But I want it now…”

“Well too bad,” Jungkook replied, snuggling back into your neck, your perfume now competing with the smell of alcohol, “You’re just gonna have to be a good girl and wait baby.”

You had never ran into the bathroom faster in your life, your head was pounding, stomach churning in the most disgusting way, the way when you knew you were gonna throw up and it was a race against time to reach the toilet. You didn't have time to question why the hell Jungkook was in your bed when the strong waves of nausea hitting you were enough to drown in.

Your eyes were near glossed over by the time you finished throwing up, groaning as you coughed, spitting out as much of the disgusting taste as you could before brushing your teeth a good three times, tongue and all before sighing. God you felt like such shit, why did you even consider drinking? Rubbing your eyes you let out a groan before adjusting to the light fully, your lips instantly parting in horror at the bruising purple marks on your neck.

“Jungkook what the fuck!” You shouted not caring what time it was or if he was asleep. This man had hell to pay! You didn’t care what the circumstances where, you weren’t even sober enough to remember doing it! You didn’t actually care that he did it, he was your mentor and you trusted him but…! Fucking hell could he have at least waited until you were a little more sober, sober enough to at least have some memory of it.

Walking back into the room you crossed your arms with a growl as Jungkook shifted, eyes lazily opening as he yawned, “The fuck did I do?” He asked quizzically yet not actually caring, grabbing your pillow cuddling before it close, closing his eyes once more while nuzzling his nose into the material.

You would’ve thought it was a cute gesture on any other occasion had you not just seen the hickey marks on your neck, “The fuck did you do? What the hell is this?” You pointed to your neck in accusation, cheeks bright red and embarrassment washing over you, you didn’t even remember how you got home or how Jungkook got in your bed. What the hell happened?

You both were dressed, which eased your nerves but you were still on edge, Jungkook only rolled his eyes, grabbing your wrist to pull you down into bed making you yelp, both of you wrestling for a moment before Jungkook forced you beneath him, “I left for fifteen minutes and suddenly you were eight shots of whiskey into Jimin’s lap,” You groaned under his weight as he laid his head down on your chest, “You cried almost the whole way home, and then got even more pissy when I wouldn’t let you thigh ride me, any more questions?” He heard an indignant huff from you, one that was usually from embarrassment that made him smile, closing his eyes again.

“Shut up.” You muttered, shifting beneath his weight before letting out a small groan. Rubbing your forehead that pounded as you let out a small whine, not wanting to even think about what Jungkook probably had to endure, you were always embarrassing when you drank. God only knew what you did this time.

It was quiet for a moment, your head still aching and you closed your eyes but the irritation persisted before you felt the weight of Jungkook’s body lift, hands on either side of you as the familiar smirk coiled on his lips, “You still in the mood to ride me babydoll?”

“The fuck!?” You yelped, quickly squirming underneath him despite his hands still caging you into your spot, your cheeks bright red at the realization you definitely became a little too horny last night, it was both a surprise and yet not at the same time to know he had the restraint to not jump your bones last night.

Jungkook had already let his lips press down against your neck making you whine, cheekings burning in embarrassment as he spoke, “You know how hard it was to ignore you?” You let out a small breath at his hands grabbing onto your waist, squeezing tightly as he licked a strip up your neck, “You were begging for daddy’s cock last night while riding that needy little pussy over my thigh.”

“Jungkook!” You cried out with a whimper, your cheeks bright red and your head throbbing more, you had already began to rub your thighs together, heat pooling between them as he sucked gently against the skin right above your hickey.

His hands slid under your shirt, petting down the sides of your body as he huffed, “I didn’t realize you were such a horny drunk, you were all over my dick last night babygirl,” You whined in frustration, letting your head knock back against the bed as you kicked your feet, “So needy,”

Jungkook clacked his tongue, a little half smirk pulling on his lips as he cupped your heat making you jolt with a whine, hips instantly rocking into his hand, “God even hungover you still want my fingers, isn’t that right baby?” He cooed out, his fingers brushing up your dripping folds, your panties ruined as he pressed little circles into your clit, the sudden cry escaping your lips as you squeezed your legs together, “Right baby?” He teased, asking you once more.

“Y-yes!” You finally relented with a rapid nod, your body's need bigger than your dignity at the moment, “Please!” you whined with a plea, Jungkook let the pad of his finger pressed down harder against your sensitive nub in reward as he rubbed it in circles.

“What a good girl,” He cooed out making your hips buck into his hand once more with a frustrated whine, pleasure rolling through your body at the way his single finger instantly found your sweet spot, “You’re so wet baby, you’re making a mess,” He clacked with a small laugh, and he was right of course, your wetness had seeped through your panties, creating a wet spot on your sweatpants making your cheeks burn as you whined, “Does baby wanna cum?”

Your hips were rocking in sync with his fingers that prodded along your clit sending little flickers of pleasure through your body as you let out a breathy moan, your orgasm building as you nodded, “P-please! Please!”

Jungkook let his fingers speed up causing your thighs to quiver and moan to brokenly leave your lips, “You really wanna cum babydoll?” He teased, eating up your little gasps and whines, your body rocking into his hand needy for more of the friction he gave your little clit, nodding you spewed out another string of pleas, your body unable to take anymore teasing as you felt your orgasm ready to snap, “Well too bad.”

A near sob escaped your lips as Jungkook replied casually, pulling his fingers away from you as he sat up with a stretch. Kicking your feet you let out several breathes and whines as he started laughing. Opening and closing your lips a few times as disbelief glossed in your eyes making him laugh harder, “Don’t give me that pout babydoll, I’m just doing to do what you did to me last night.”

“I was drunk!” You shouted with a cry as he got up dismissing you with a wave of his hand before leaving the room, sulkily you threw yourself back down on the bed as you kicked your feet, what a rude ass! Your body was sensitive from being edged and denied, glancing at the door to make sure he hadn’t returned you dropped your hand back down your body before letting it trail to the hem of your pants.

“You better not be touching yourself in there,” Jungkook called from the kitchen making you whine as you flopped onto your stomach, he teased you relentlessly and now you couldn’t even finish yourself!? Your head ached in dull pain and you felt even more like garbage then before as you buried your head under your pillow.

Footsteps padded through the room again as Jungkook snorted, “You are such a baby, take your medicine and remember to drink some water, I doubt hangover sex is the way you want our first time to go.”

“You don’t know that.” You sulked from under your pillow, this wasn’t the first time this had happened. Being teased, aroused, then edged and denied your release only for him to casually take his leave, it wasn’t fair! He had plenty of girls to go to and all you had was him and your fingers which in comparison weren’t cutting it anymore,

Jungkook let his hand pet down your waist as he replied, “Oh but I do babygirl, I do. Anyways I have to prep for that bachelorette party at Cherry Bomb scheduled for later today so you probably won’t hear from me until tonight.”

Ah yes, apparently some rich clients threw their money together and rented out the whole damn building and hired on all the male soloists for one of the client’s bachelorette party. You only shuddered at the idea of having to work one of the few days you got off. You waved him away with a groan, making him give another laugh as he left, obviously successful in his tease attack on you. You were gonna kill that man.

You couldn’t keep the dumb smile from your face as you curled back up in bed, letting the soft fuzzy blanket rub against your warm cheeks as you stared at your phone. You thought Koo was the cutest nickname and knowing he’d tolerate you using it made you all warm and fuzzy inside.

Stretching out you turned off your phone before honing in on the show you had put on.

“You’re awfully happy,” Yeri who was sprawled out on the foot of the bed took note in your beaming expression, a lot of nights when Cherry Bomb had been booked for the boys Taehyung would often have to work the bar leaving you and Yeri alone and bored most of the night.

To cure the problem she had offered one time if you wanted to spend the night, it had become routine ever since when they were at work.

It wasn’t like you minded, in fact, you had been considerably more upbeat the last few months as Seulgi always had other friends and didn’t necessarily have time for you most days, having both Yeri and Rosé to keep you company when any of your male friends were busy left you bright and happy.

Rosé who was also bored with nothing to do that night had also stayed at your house, mainly complaining that those ‘three headed wenches’ stole Jimin from their movie night and left her with no other plans but never not in the mood to drop in to visit with you. She even gave a pout when she found out you and Yeri had been getting together with out her on your newly appointed girls night.

She was currently on the floor, feet spread out in front of her as she continued to paint her toenails, clacking her tongue she gave a knowing smile, “Koo is Y/n’s nickname for Jungkook,” she gave a sing song tone making your cheeks flush, she didn’t have to say it like that! “He said she’s the only one he’s okay with calling him it.”

Yeri gave an ‘Oh’ making your cheeks flush further as you grabbed the pillow from your side, cuddling it close as you nuzzled your nose into the soft fuzzy fur, “Shut up guys.” You whined making them both laugh. You knew what they were hinting at but didn’t want to confide anything.

It wasn’t necessarily them, but it was yourself. The main reason you had yet to jump into anything with Jungkook was simply because you wanted time, making sure you eased out of your breakup with no strings attached or any regret. Jungkook being who he was, wasn’t about to pressure you into anything, especially after you told him you just wanted time to recoup from your break up, understably, it was also the main reason he held off from any advancements on you, physically and...you supposed romantically. You swallowed at the idea, making your cheeks burn hotter.

You couldn’t help but feel a little excitement rush through you at the thought, you supposed, you had developed a little bit of a...crush on your mentor. But it was hard not too, all the petnames, cuddles and affection, he’d take you for breakfast most days and endured your delicate temperament, it would be hard to not have at least a tiny crush on him.

It was why you avoided the group chat so heavily, you didn’t like being taunted by all of his one night stands even though that was never his intention in the first place. It didn’t take a genius to figure out Jungkook had a high sex drive and to be fair you did want time on your own, no relationships or beneifcal friendships. But still. Maybe, just maybe, he liked you too?

You rubbed your cheeks as Yeri gave a hum, “When do you think they’ll get in? You said Jungkook left here around twelve right?”

“Mhm,” You shifted against the soft pillow with a nod, “He went to Cherry Bomb earlier to get everything set up, probably stopped by his apartment and got showered first though. Pretty sure it didn’t start until around three I think?”

Rosé nodded as she dipped the handle back in the nail polish bottle, “Mhm, those girls have to be wasted by now, hopefully they didn’t get any of the guys to drink too much.” You couldn’t help but let your face scrunch slightly, that had also happened before and was never a pretty sight.

Not as though you had to deal with it for very long, you had never even seen Jungkook drunk before but he was also extremely adamant about it and had simply told you he didn’t need to be wasted to have a good time. You weren’t about to complain when Jimin and Hoseok had been up on the bar attempting karaoke, shockingly enough, they were actually pretty decent.

Yeri sighed as she curled up on the bed, the poor thing obviously wishing her lover was with her as she circled patterns on the soft comforter, “I can only hope.” You gave her a tiny, sympathetic smile, you could understand in a way. On nights like these you’d prefer to be lounged out with Jungkook annoyingly eating all of your chips, though you secretly loved it, while you browsed on your laptop.

It was the little things you enjoyed the most.

“You know what,” Rosé clacked her lips, opening her phone as she gave a hum, “I'm gonna see if I can yoink some selfies from them.” You groaned, curling into your pillow you held, they often had a weekend ritual of sending borderline nsfw selfies into the chat, or sometimes they were nsfw.

Just as she finished her message your phone buzzed, curiously Yeri crawled over to you as you let go of your pillow, letting her look over your shoulder as you facepalmed.

Yeri and Rosé were wheezing as you whined, throwing your phone on the bed as you cried out with a loud whine, burying yourself in the piles of blankets. Your cheeks on fire and a whimper escaping your lips from embarrassment. God why did you ever think taking that photo was a good idea?

You had just gotten out of the shower yesterday morning when you took that photo, feeling cute and just taking it to take it without any intention of ever letting it see the light of day for someone else's eyes. Just the idea of Jungkook seeing it made your face blush wildly and your humiliation want to dive off a cliff.

“Why did you even have that on your phone if you didn’t wanna send it?” Rosé howled out, standing up as she waddled over to the bed, careful to not ruin her freshly painted toenails, “Was it for someone else?”

“No!” You cried out making them break into a whole new fit of laughter, “I-I just! I felt cute that morning!” It was the truth, you had thought maybe it would help your esteem by taking a cute panty picture but now all you felt was embarrassed. It was dumb given your friends had all seen you in even less then that before, on a daily basis. But this was different, it was private, for your eyes only.

It wasn’t a big deal, and it was your own fault but still. You wouldn’t deny the stir between your thighs at Jungkook’s messages though, obviously riled up at the ten second glance he gained from your picture. If your cheeks weren’t red before they definitely were now.

Sighing you ignored their laughs as you crawled out of bed, shuffling to the bathroom in an attempt to recompose yourself. Shutting the door you sighed, dropping your head against it before letting out a whine, note to self: delete those pictures.

At that thought your phone buzzed making you jump, not sure if Jungkook stole someones phone to text you or- Oh.... you sighed in relief at the text from your mother, they had been talking about taking a trip to visit you here in Seoul next month and honestly? You had been happy to know, you had been so buried between class and work that you rarely had time to talk to your mom anymore. Knowing they’d be visiting next month made you all giddy and excited, steering your embarrassed thoughts away from what had just happened.

Taking a moment to recollect yourself and text your mom back you took your time, getting ready to open the door when it suddenly rapped from the other side, “Y/n!”

Opening the door your heartrate spiked at Rosé’s fretting tone, confused you glanced between her wide frantic eyes and Yeri who was putting on her shoes, “What’s up?”

“Jimin just called, Namjoon took a bad fall from the stage, they’re on their way to the hospital right now.” She had already turned to put her shoes on as you quickly followed suit. A bad fall? What was that supposed to mean, did he hit his head? Was he okay? Had he overworked himself? They did have a lot of numbers for that bachelorette party. Wasting no time you put your shoes on, grabbing your cardigan and keys before heading to the car, looks like a day off just didn’t exist anymore.

It was nearly two AM and your eyes had that familiar sting of tiredness in them, it hurt to blink and the bright fluorescent lights of hospital almost made you squint. You had been curled up against the familiar side of Jungkook who had an arm around you, looking tired himself as he yawned, running a hand through his hair, “Didn’t think it would take them this long to get xrays done.”

“He’s probably giving them a hard time with how much he drank,” Jimin snorted from the other wall, Rosé long past out on his shoulder with a small snore, “We still have training tomorrow and Cherry Bomb’s a fucking mess, Seokjin is still on the phone with Sejin and hell- maybe even Bang, might get the day off but who knows.” He stretched out as much as he could without disturbing Rosé, his eyes also tired and honestly you were surprised Jimin was the sober one given how often he drank too much.

“Was Yoongi not there tonight?” You asked quietly, rubbing your eyes as you let out a yawn yourself shuffling in Jungkook’s grip as he pulled you closer, usually you’d still be fairly bright eyed at Cherry Bomb but it was different when you were in sweats and a t-shirt compared to a bodysuit with a margarita in hand.

You felt the urge to shut your eyes when Jungkook ran his hand against your arm, “No he’s visiting family in Daegu for the weekend, he won’t be back until tomorrow evening to cover regular shift. I can head back over and clean up, I doubt we’ll hear anything about Namjoon until the morning.” Jungkook stood up making a muffled whine escape your lips at the loss of heat his body served as your own personal heater, his lips quirked into a small smirk as he glanced down, “You wanna come help baby?”

Groaning you sunk into your seat, not at all appealed to the idea of spending your night, the one you where you should’ve been in the warm covers of your bed, at Cherry Bomb once again, except cleaning up a room that looked like a frat party no doubt, “Oh yeah just how I wanted to spend my day off.” You sighed as you stood up, rubbing your eyes as you bidded everyone goodnight, following behind Jungkook with another yawn.

Cherry Bomb, just as Jimin said, was a literal wreck.

Bottles scattered over the floors tables had been put up and chairs littered the main floor, glitter and holographic confetti covered the floor and splatters of white substance...presumably cum- stained the floor, god you hated bachelorette parties, “This is so disgusting.” You groaned, ignoring the white substance as you continued sweeping up the confetti.

“Hey I kept my dick in my pants the whole time, blame Seokjin for half of this.” That was the last excuse you even wanted to hear as Jungkook defended himself, “You should’ve seen it, almost three of them got in a fight to suck his dick.” Closing your eyes you inhaled sharply as he laughed at your expression, “Speaking of…”

You felt your face flush as you flashed him a warning glance, focusing down on the floor as you continued to push all of the litter into a pile, “Were those new panties? I’ve never seen you in them before.”

“Jeon Jungkook!” You snapped out turning around, stomping your foot in embarrassment, your face bright red as your free hand curled into a fist making him laugh even harder, “I don’t wear all of my underwear at work!” In any other situation and setting, you were dully aware it would’ve been a weird statement, however you were in fact, strippers and that was a perfectly valid statement, you had come to appreciate wearing pretty panties and didn’t like showing all of the ones you owned off where you worked.

“Oh so you won’t mind showcasing those for me privately then?” Jungkook raised his brows, his smile cheeky as he leaned back on his feet making the scowl twist further on your face, he really did get on your nerves some days...“What’s with that look babydoll? Am I not allowed to be curious?”

Stomping your foot once more your lips quivered into a pout as you angrily swept the floor, “You aren’t curious, you’re shameless!” He really was and the fact that he knew it, even proudly flaunted it made you all the more embarrassed and angry.

Jungkook exasperatedly clacked his tongue as he propped himself up to sit on the edge of the stage, “Me shameless? You were the one that sent your cute little ass into a groupchat- who was it for?” You furrowed your brows at the sudden edge in his voice.

“What?” You turned around at his words, not expecting the abrupt question nor the slight change in his tone, leaning against the broom as Jungkook curved a brow, mildly annoyed as if he didn’t like having to go in more detail, “Who was it supposed to be for if you didn’t mean to send it into the chat?”

Your lips quivered into an even bigger pout, cheeks flushing as you turned back to the path you had created, flustered at just the idea of ever sending something like that to someone, “No one Jungkook. I just thought I looked cute yesterday morning, it wasn’t meant for anyone.” You weren’t sure if you were embarrassed at his question or your own answer. You didn’t have any booty calls like the rest of your friends and you weren’t sure if you even wanted any.

Leaning back against his hands Jungkook hummed, shoulders relaxing as he replied, “Feel free to send them to me babygirl, I’ll put them to good use.” Your nose wrinkled at his purred words, cheeks burning as your refused to glance at him.

“Jungkook,” he hummed as you finally turned around, unable to hide his grin at your quivering lips, big puppy eyes and red cheeks as you murmured, “Please shut the fuck up.”

~~~~~

You felt oddly well rested, taking in a big breath before nuzzling in closer to the mass of heat, legs tangled together and you loved when you woke up to your hair being played with just like today. Things felt too comfortable though.

You were well aware it was Jungkook who had accompanied you in bed, he insisted on staying the night and before you could even put up a fight he had crashed down on your bed, sprawled out with a sleepy smirk, the one he always wore when he was tired and ready to drown you in a warm cuddle you just couldn’t say no too.

Letting out a soft breath you shifted in his grip as you yawned, grabbing your phone before your eyes almost popped out of your head, “Jungkook it’s almost 9!” You were two hours late to practice and he just let you guys sleep in!? You had barely shot up before you were forcibly pulled back down, standing no match for the muscle pig that pulled you back against him, “Calm down baby, we got in late last night,” His voice was a note deeper and raspier against your ear setting an uncomfortable warmth between your thighs, “I figured you’d be happy to sleep in.”

“We didn’t get in any later then we usually do!” You huffed as you struggled to get out of his grip, Jungkook held you firmly though, not even looking affected by your efforts as he kept his eyes closed. In admist your struggling though you paused when he let out a small moan, “Fuck… would you stop that?”

That's when you felt the prominent hard line of his boner pressed snuggly against your ass making you let out a whine, trying to keep your thighs from rubbing together at the feeling as you whined, “Let me go! We need to go get ready for practice.”

“Five more minutes,” Jungkook replied, burying his face in your neck, “God I didn’t realize how much you enjoyed practice for as much as you complain.” You jumped at the feeling of his hips slowly grinding into yours.

You tensed as you bit your lip, arousal flooding your body as it stuck uncomfortably to your panties, “Stop rubbing your boner against me.” You huffed flusteredly, suddenly letting out a whine at his hips thrusting into yours, his deep sleepy moan in your ear.

Jungkook only wrapped his arms around you further, hands playing with the band of your sweat pants as he let his lips drag against your ear, “Take off your sweats.” You had already been turned on before, but hearing him command those words, sounding half asleep and that raspy tone working your body all on it’s own had made you quickly push them down, “Mmm good girl.” He inhaled against your neck as you whined, your panties embarrassingly wet as they clung to your folds, body unable to keep still as your ass nudged against his cock that throbbed in his own sweats, “Now take off your shirt.”

You let out a shaky breath, your cheeks on fire as you quickly obeyed, his arms letting go of you briefly as you pulled the material over your head, your tired gaze on the floor as the fabric of your comforter brushed against the skin of your breasts, “Ah fuck, such a good girl.” Jungkook praised, his eyes still shut as his hands roamed over your body, “Are you gonna be good for daddy?”

Your body burned with need as you whimpered a yes, his cock rubbed against the cheeks of your ass, You could feel Jungkook’s smirk on your skin before pulling you on top of him, “Then show daddy what a good girl you are and ride his thigh.”

You were straddled against his stomach, cheeks bright red as your nipples hardened, arousal soaking your panties as he cracked his eyes open, drinking up the sight before him as he let out a breathy laugh, “You’re already soaked babydoll. Look at those wet panties, such a messy baby.” He clacked his tongue as you dropped your chin down, staring at his chest as his hands squeezed against your sides, “They have to be uncomfortable against that pretty pussy, you wanna take them off?”

You didn’t think it was possibly to become anymore aroused, shaking your head he let out a laugh, grabbing your hips as he forced you into action, pulling between his thigh as he let out a soft moan, “Such a pretty baby, go on, make a big mess over daddy’s thigh I wanna see my baby cum.”

Letting out a breathy moan you placed your hands against his stomach, feeling it’s chiseled muscles tense beneath your fingers as you testingly rubbed your hips down his thighs, a sudden whimper escaping your lips at the feeling of your clit rubbing into his thigh, Jungkook ran a hand through his hair as he sighed, “Fuck you look so hot, such a needy baby, your cunts practically dripping.”

His filth instantly made your hips buck, any reservations you previously had gone as you harshly pressed your hips into his thigh, your clit rubbing in delicious friction between your panties and his sweats, a big wet spot quickly growing as you whimpered, “F-fuck- Daddy…!” You felt dirty for whimpering those words but your body only grew hotter as your orgasm quickly approached.

You nearly choked on your own spit when Jungkook’s hand came into sight, hand palming his hard, aching cock in his sweats as you whimpered, “What baby?” Jungkook let out a sadistic smile, “Want daddy’s cock?”

He watched your hips buck into his thigh faster, another high pitched moan escaping your lips as you nodded. Your lips parted as he pushed his sweats down just enough to release his swollen cock, it was so big his shaft was thick with a protruding vein, slightly curved and his bulbous head beaded with precum and was such a pretty shade of red.

You jumped out of your skin at the feeling of Jungkook’s hand entering your panties, nearly moaning as he palmed your clit, a cry escaping your throat as you whimpered, “Please daddy! I’ll be a good girl, please!”

Your juices messily spilled all over his hand, your hips pressing harsher into his palm to rub further against your needy clit as you leaned forward, tits bouncing and hair slanting view of your face as you whined, desperate for his cock to fill your aching body.

“Fuck thats hot.” Jungkook muttered, eyes fixated on your hips fluidly pleasuring yourself against him, you let out a loud whine as his fingers dragged up your soaked slit, teasing past your clit as you nearly cried out, “P-please! Fuck please!”

Instead of rubbing your clit like you had hoped he only used your arousal for his cock, grabbing it as he began to squeeze against his base, “You have to earn daddy’s cock, make me cum without doing anything and I’ll consider it for next time.”

Your eyes glossed at his words, ready to cry despite your hips rubbing for more friction, unable to take your eyes off his swollen cock that he held in his hand, pumping it at an eased paced that made you clench around nothing but the thought of his fat cock filling you up, “You said you were daddy’s good girl right?”

You threw your head down at his words, you thighs squeezing against his with a whine, Jungkook managed a breathy chuckle as he hummed, “Oh so you like being a good girl?” You let out a whine, your cheeks on fire as your orgasm began to build, “You like being told how much of a good girl you are for me, how well you ride daddy’s thigh? You gonna be a good baby and cum for daddy?”

His words were almost too much to bear, your hips beginning to stutter as pleasure began to bloom throughout your whole body, “F-fuck! I-I wanna be daddy’s good girl! I wanna make daddy’s cock feel so good, wanna be stuffed full and fucked until my pussy is dripping.” The words fumbled from your lips as your pace became more messy, pleasure suddenly twisting and snapping in your body as you cried out, “Mmm! Fuck me daddy! Please! Please! I need your cock so bad I want it splitting my pussy open and stuffing me full, please!”

You couldn’t keep the filth from pouring out of your mouth as you breathed heavily, crying out at the orgasm that snapped throughout your body, whimpering at the sharp twist of pleasure filtering through your body as you shakily held onto his stomach, barely registering Jungkook’s breathy moans, “Be a good little cockslut and stay still,” He suddenly growled making you whimper, obediently forcing your trembling body to lie still as he quickly pumped his shaft, his tip aiming at you, licking your quivering lips at his daunting bulbous tip aimed directly at you as you whimpered, “Pl-please just let me suck it, I’ll be daddy’s good girl and-and take it,”

Jungkook squeezed against his shaft, another moan escaping his mouth as he tucked his tongue into his cheek, dominance rolling off him in waves at the sight of you trying to keep still against his thigh, panties completely soaked with those pretty tits on display, it was your face that got him the most though, the way your cheeks burned bright red and your pupils blown out and eyes doe like, “I said: No, you fucking cockslut,”

You let out a quiet whine, eyes dropping back down submissively to his throbbing cock that he held with a tight grip, his palm roughly squeezing his head as he growled, “You haven’t earn the right to suck daddy’s cock. Now be a good girl and keep riding my thigh.”

“B-but...” Your body was so hypersensitive already your hips were trembling at just the idea, Jungkook used his free hand to suddenly strike your thigh making you give a loud yelp as he snarled, “Ride my thigh you slut, don’t make me repeat myself.” He bounced his thigh up to your aching core, making sure to hit your clit as you whimpered a moan, “If you can take daddy’s cock you can take daddy’s thigh.”

Letting out a shaky whine you obediently let your hips drag back down his thigh with a whimpered moan escaping your lips, “D-daddy it hurts.” Despite the oversensitivity your hips were quickly bucking further into his thigh, your clit throbbing in pain and pleasure as the need for his skin to be in contact with your clit burned in you harsher.

You cried out at his hand slapping over your thigh once more as he growled, “Then why are you still going huh? Don’t pretend like you don’t like using daddy’s thigh you slut,” His degradation was making your folds practically drip but you couldn’t feel an ounce of shame as you moaned, “Look at you getting off on daddy’s thigh while begging like a little whore for his cock, are you daddy’s little whore?”

You whimpered, nails dragging down his abdominal, having never been spoken to with so much degradation yet your body was begging for more as your face burned brighter, “I-I love being daddy’s whore, pl-please daddy,” You tugged at the band of his sweatpants that had been pulled past his hips.

Jungkook let the wide smirk pull on his lips, “Such an obedient baby, you wanna ride the skin of my thigh don’t you baby? Pull them down further.” You nearly jumped for joy at his permission as you quickly shifted to pull his sweats to his knees. What Jungkook hadn’t expected was you to pull your panties to the side before quickly lowering down to the warm skin of his thigh, letting out a long shaky moan in relief.

Jungkook nearly lost it in that moment, forcing his hand to stop to keep himself from cumming at the feeling of your dripping wet cunt split and dragging over his open thigh, now wet and messy covered in your juices, “Look at my needy baby,” He cooed out, voice finally relaxing as he let his throbbing cock rest on his stomach, “Such a good girl,” you let out a shaky moan, hips stuttering as you pressed your clit down against his warm skin, dragging it down his thigh as your slick arousal glistened against his tan skin, “Does babygirl need my fingers?”

He let out a breathy chuckle as you whimpered, “P-please daddy! I’ve - I've been so good!” hips quickly bucking into his thigh as he let his hand slide down making you whimper as he let his pads drag in little circles over your clit, “Mmm! F-fuck it-it hurts daddy.” Your lips quivered with a moan.

Jungkook only grabbed his cock with his free hand, pumping it with ease as he let out a breathy moan, “If you’re daddy’s good girl then cum again, be a greedy little cumslut for daddy and make a big mess over his thigh.” You let out a high pitched moan as his fingers dragged over your swollen little nub, finding it’s sweet spot as he pressed down into it, quickly letting his fingers pace pick up as he rubbed into it.

“Go on babygirl, cum on daddy's thigh, are you gonna be a good girl and hold still to take my cum?” He let a haughty smirk pull on his lips as you cried out, rapidly bucking into his hips as your thighs squeezed against his, your second orgasm nearly taking all of the energy out of you, every little touch of his thigh on your clit had you whining and whimpering as you tried to stay still, “Y-yes...I’m daddy’s good girl…”

Jungkook finally relaxed, letting out a deep, raspy moan as his orgasm finally broke inside him from your words, pleasuring streaming through his veins as the spurts of cum shot out covering your body in the pretty white substance, and you were such a good girl, staying still as he covered you in his cum. Jungkook pumped every last drop out, making sure it all splattered against you as you let out a soft whine.

Flecks of white covering those pretty red cheeks as your body trembled gently, your breaths shallow and refusing to meet his, “Mmm such a good girl,” You jumped a little at his hand that placed on your cheek softly, thumbing the cum away from your cheekbone, “Not bad for a little masturbation play. Come let me get something to clean you up with.”

Jungkook sat up, intending to go to the bathroom but paused at the sound of your soft whimper, wrapping your arms tightly around him as you buried into his nose, a little sniffle escaping you as you let out a small whine, “No! Please don’t go.”

“Baby I’m not going anywhere-” You let out a soft sob, legs wrapping around his waist, afraid he’d leave you just like he did all of his other one night stands even though the rational side of you knew that wasn’t the case, fear had took over as you held onto him as if he’d disappear.

Jungkook let out a soft hush as he wrapped his arms around you, “Shhh, I’m not going to leave babygirl.” He shifted to lay back down, letting you rest on his chest as you gently sobbed into his shoulder, little tears trickling down your cheeks at the idea as you held onto him tightly, “You were such a good girl for daddy, was I too rough?”

He sounded a little worried, Jungkook had experienced a lot of different reactions from both subs and littles after sex but to have one crying afterwards was not something he ever thought he’d experience and he definitely wasn’t sure if it was a good thing. You only let out a small sob as you shook your head, tightening your grip on him as you buried your nose into his neck.

Jungkook only soothed you, rubbing your back gently as he pressed small kisses into your kiss, “Shh, I’m not going anywhere babygirl. What’s wrong?” You only sniffled further, rapidly shaking your head as you nuzzled further against him. Letting out a soft sigh Jungkook pressed another kiss into your skin, soothingly rubbing the bright red mark on your thigh from his hand, his free hand tangling in your hair to stroke it as he held you close.

Eventually you came down from your high of sex, body no longer trembling and your cheeks still stained from tears yet all you felt was embarrassment, you had never had such an episode of fright after sex let alone one that would push you into tears, “We’re late…” You finally rasped weakly, and much to your surprise Jungkook snorted a laugh.

Hesitantly you propped yourself up on his chest, cheeks beginning to flush as he looked up at you, both amusement and haughtiness on his expression, hands gently rubbing against your back as he asked, “I’m sorry but you just bawled your eyes out for twenty minutes, and that’s your first concern after? Are you okay baby?” Your lips quivered into a pout as the concern that drew in his eyes, “Was the degradation too much? I should’ve probably asked first, some girls get extremely turned off by that- or was it the spanking-”

“Jungkook,” You cut him off, rubbing the sticky cum from your cheeks as you shyly shifted off of him, curling your knees up to your chest, “I’m fine, if I didn’t like anything I would’ve told you, I just...I don’t know why I cried okay? I just....” your cheeks burned heavily as your lips trembled once more, “I don't know!”

Jungkook gave a soft laugh, sitting up as he tucked his members back into the confines of his boxers before fixing his sweatpants, “Alright baby, no need to be so defensive, I just wanted to make sure I didn’t hurt you. Unless you’re just upset I didn’t actually fuck you? If that’s the case then just give me ten minutes I-”

“Shut up! Shut up! Shut up!” He laughed even louder as you pressed your hands into your ears with a whine, standing up as you waddled to the bathroom, to get a washcloth, “Like I said, we’re late!”

Jungkook groaned as he stretched out, following you inside the bathroom before casually shrugging, “Oh yeah forgot to mention practice got cancelled today,”

“What!?” You hissed out, whipping around to glare at him, he couldn’t have told you that before he whipped his dick out!? You glowered sulkily, making him laugh as he ruffled your hair making you stomp your foot, “Why didn’t you tell me?”

Jungkook began fiddling with the knobs of the shower, brows pressing together a little in confusion as he tested the water with his hand, “Well you didn’t give me a chance babygirl, y’know if you just said fuck off when I told you to take off your sweats I probably would’ve told you then.”

Your lips tugged into an angry pout as you glared at his broad, muscular back that was revealed as he pulled the shirt over his head, your mouth suddenly gaping as your cheeks flared, “What…! What do you think you’re doing!?”

Jungkook ran a hand through his hair, glancing over his shoulder as he let the half smirk curl on his lips, “Showering?” if he had told you to get on your knees that very second, without a doubt, you would’ve did as told. The idea made your own knees weak as he ran his hand under the water once more, “You practically covered me in cum, kinda gross to be honest.”

You gaped like a fish before stomping your foot making him laugh as you pointed an accusing finger at him, “You…! You were the one who covered me in cum!”

You couldn’t even hold your ground though as Jungkook strode towards you, suddenly hauling you up by the thighs as he set you on the bathroom counter, “Oh hush you were the one who was practically begging to suck my dick. On god, I’ve never seen a girl look so happy to be covered in cum,” you whined for him to stop, feeling your cheeks flush at the chaste kiss he pecked on your neck, grabbing at the band of your panties before pulling them off in one swift motion.

Embarrassed you squeezed your thighs together, still hypersensitive and cautious making him pat the side of your thigh, “You’re so adorable,” your lips pulled into a big angry pout once more at his finger that bopped your nose, his eyes crinkled slightly with a smile, “Now come on let’s get showered, Namjoon wanted to talk to you at the hospital, it’s pretty important.”

You furrowed your brows at his words, tilting your head before nodding, hopping off the counter as you waddled into the shower, ignoring the arousal that slid down your thighs. Not before complaining about how hot the water was, “What’s it about?”

“Ah…” Jungkook gave a hum, pulling off the rest of his clothes before he shrugged, “It’d be easier to just let him do the talking,” He stepped into the shower with you, being in such close proximity of him made you slightly sheepish as you curled against yourself.

Feeling arms wrap around your waist you let out a soft whine as Jungkook nudged his nose into the crook of your neck, “Hush, I see you nearly naked every day. Now let me take care of my baby.” your cheeks had to be rosey at his words but you weren’t about to stop him when his fingers massaged into your scalp. Exhaling softly you finally leaned into his touch as your muscles relaxed, you had to admit, this was nice.

~~~~~

“What?” You were sure if you had even heard Namjoon right, everyone sat around in chairs, he looked definitely hungover and in an itchy looking hospital gown, hair ruffled and his foot wrapped in a splint. He had definitely seen better days and in light of the situation you could tell no one was going to let him live this down.

Namjoon couldn’t help but give a soft laugh at your shock expression as he explained, “I have a hairline fracture in my ankle, Doc said it might take up to 8 weeks to heal and given how much I’m scheduled at Cherry Bomb for this and next week, we really can’t afford to have gaps in the shows,”

“And trying to throw a shit ton of choreography at the girls would be a nightmare,” Jungkook chimed in, arm loosely draped around your shoulders, “Not to mention taxing for us.”

You could understand where they were coming from but still couldn’t quite believe the situation, almost surreal and any other girls dream come true. Or strippers dream come true.

Namjoon nodded in agreement with him as he directed his gaze back at you, “It’s up to you of course, but I think you’re ready. And it’s only temporary, just for the next few weeks so we have time to get the girls put on for extra dances.”

You nibbled on your lip, fidgeting with your fingers as you frowned, “Are you sure you don’t want someone else to do it?” This was a big leap from just being a trainee and you knew for a fact, there was a lot of other girls who’d probably do a better job than you, not to mention you’d be given shit from absolutely everyone within the next few weeks if you took this on.

Namjoon only smiled encouragingly, “No I’m pretty sure I want you to take my place Y/n, you’ll do just fine. Beside’s like I said, it’s only temporary and it’ll be good experience under your belt.”

The moment felt so surreal to hear, Namjoon really thought you’d be able to pull it off as a temporary soloist, swallowing thickly you finally gave a bashful smile, “Well, it's not like I can really say no, where do I begin?”

Letting his hand drop to your waist Jungkook gave it a squeeze as he gave you a confident smile, “You’ll wanna find some music first, soloist’s choose their costumes, choreography and music so you have your work cut out for you baby, if you need any help you know I’ll be there. Better get to work.”

~~~~~~

Note: Whew boy, tumblr headass was about to die with how much I shoved into this chapter, nearly spazzed at all of the images too LMAO. Anyways sorry for such a long wait loves I hope it was worth it! I’m extremely excited for next chapter!! Things get....interesting :)

Taglist: @loveherpersona @megladon1616 @pearlneedstosleep @sincerelyjeohn @jungkookies-golden-noona @ironically-indifferent96 @epiphany-playingwithfire @maboiisuga @kookphoria91 @taehyungiev13 @134340ismybitch @appreciatethefoolishness @hanhannguyen98 @lurkerarmy @lovelyjikook @repeating-seesaw-game​ @serendipity-secrets​ @kimvantaee​ @forevermoremagcon @timestandstillalittle​ @yanmi1​ @expensive-bangtan-girl​ @blxckeffect​ @egyptianwitchbutwithab @kimcheeeee​ @rather-not-sayy​ @pastel-i-decay​ @taeass​ @caitlinmarieeblossom​ @bokuandcoconutsarelife @desires-ss @jishookedout134​ @369girlswannadrinkwine @flowingwiththewater @w-ing-ss​ @rjsmochii​ @lovethatforme97 @bunnyboyenthusiast​ @adelina1299​ @rainbow-zebra-unicorns​ @namjoonies-dimple @rubydotexe​ @keyaqua123​ @kai1697jeon​ @mochibabycakes​ @min-chimchim03​

(Let me know if you’d like to be added! We still have a few spots left!)

[dadzawa-adopt-dabi]

Yandere hawks for Bear

This whole thing is dead dove as Fuck. Yandere Hawks and Rape occur in this fic. If you don't like it, Dont read it. enjoy!

@possessedfuzzybear

Dabi knows the moment Hawks lets him limp away that he’s going to get an infection. The alley is disgusting and the Hero hadn’t been gentle as he’d used Dabi , resulting in more than a few popped staples. He jerks away as the Hero presses a thumb into one of the seams, plucking another staple he loosened out of the skin.

“Fucking watch it.” He snarls at him and rips his arm out of the Hero’s grip. Dabi braces himself against the wall as his knees try to go out from under him. His pants are coated in muck from where Hawks had forced him to kneel.

“When’s our next meeting? You know I can’t go back to the commision empty handed.” The Hero drawls out with a bored expression as he examines one of the Villain’s staples in his hand. A small baby feather slips onto a loop on Dabi coat as he picks it up.

“When Shigaraki decides it.” The coat slides on providing him with another layer he can hide from Hawks prying eyes. TheHero has already seen the wreck of his body under the clothing and yet Dabi can still feel him undressing him with his eyes.

“I’ll swing by your new base sometime next week then? I’m sure we can find some way to pass the time... If there’s no news for me.” The Hero narrowed his eyes at Dabi, twirling a longer feather in his hands again. They both knew he wouldn’t harm Dabi with it. Not when it was more useful as a threat of how the Hero could pin Dabi in place. A casual reminder that he could do as he wished with Dabi, and no one would stop him.

“If we don’t have any news for you can keep your ass out of the base. I’ll come over the same as usual. No one at the base needs your Herobullshit attitude hanging around.” He snaps at him. Hawks kept finding their bases despite Dabi routinely checking for stalkers and it’s gotten to the point where if he doesn't want the rat with wings to show up he goes to his apartment. He should tell Shigaraki to move it again when he gets back.

Tomura knew something was wrong. Asking got him nothing but upturned lips and insults in return. The one time he tried to corner his second-in-command it got him lit on fire. Tomura wasn’t sure what it would take to fully bring Dabi into his party. If the scarred man would ever be willing to. Dabi seemed to have his mind set on his own goals. He still only trusted Twice and Giran with his number staying absent from important meetings.

The conversation couldn’t wait until Dabi was comfortable with his boss anymore. Tomura dropped his coffee cup and snagged Dabi by the arm as the man’s knees buckled. Dabi glared at the hand on his arm right before emptying his stomach into the kitchen sink. Tomura's fingers twitching as he waited for him to be done. Both of them were really content to ignore the elephant in the room.

“I’m fucking fine.” Dabi rasped out as Tomura had Twice come over and pick him up. Setting him on the couch.

Dabi retched and Sako quickly pulled a trash can out of nowhere. He wasn’t sure if it was the same magic Kurogiri had always pulled on him or if it was Sako’s quirk. Maybe the man was an actual magician for all that he knew. Tomura had a team falling apart at the seams right now and Dabi wouldn't work with him. Heart events and trust took time. He’d achieved one that night on the roof and he would wait for the next ones as well.

Dabi had been spending a lot of time with the new recruit, leaving without saying anything and staying the night. Shigaraki suspected there was something between them. The way Dabi always had to be in Hawks eyesight and the nights he spent over there.

“How long have you been sick, Dabi?” Mr.Compress asked as he peeled Dabi out of his jacket. Rubbing the man's back as he melted into the couch.

“ It's just an infection, it happens.” Dabi mumbled, laid back against the couch, shrugging Sako’s concerned hands off him. His shoulders were slumped and covered in a cold clammy sweat, causing him to shiver.

Tomura’s nails dug deeper into his bloody neck. Scratching and peeling away at the scabs there. Dabi had probably gotten it by living with them. He had access to a shower and medical supplies through that fucking Hero recruit. Maybe, he’d been coming back to the base for them. He brought back shit often enough for the members and slept here still. At least, Tomura thought he slept here still. “Fucking gross.” Tomura sneered to himself as he thought about their space, mumbling soundlessly to himself as he looked around. This base wasn’t the cleanest. None of them had been, especially for a member with open wounds. There was still only so much they could do. Mr. Compress stiffened and glanced over at him. “You got sick because we’ve been moving around a lot right?” Sako’s voice was thick with concern and trepidation.

Dabi rolled his eyes. He pushed his shirt up so the LoV could see a scrape cutting across healthy skin and scar tissue. One of the seams that wrapped around his back up to his chest had staples missing. The area was swollen and shiny with inflammation and the accompanying pus produced as Dabi’s body desperately tried to heal itself. The infected area wasn't turning extreme colors so nothing would have to be removed there at least. “Got in a fight. Lost.” He let out a laugh that ended in a coughing fit. Dabi flinched away when Sako went to rub his back. He let his eyes slip closed as he gasped for air. “Not everything is about you guys. I'm just shit at keeping my mouth shut.”

Finally the shaking and sickness around Dabi got so bad that he asked Tomura where they were. Cementing the fact that unless they can kidnap a doctor and force them to help Dabi, he won't get better this time. Dabi had been insistent on sleeping around the League since he’d gotten sick. Whether it's for Dabi to guard them or for them to watch over him is something Tomura still hasn’t figured out. Toga is constantly wrinkling her nose with a worried look on her face and flips knives in a nervous habit everytime someone encroaches ‘her bubble’. Her bubble keeps fucking growing to the point where it’s just the same room as her sometimes.

“We have to give him up.” Tomura finally makes the choice for them as they watch Sako try and cool him down with a damp rag. It’s about as sanitary as they could get and hasn’t been working.

Tomura doesn't realize that his thoughts have been so similar and different from his members until Shuichi is flinching away like he’s said something worse than he has. He knows none of them trust the Hero, but Dabi spends some nights there and it's surer to be cleaner than where they are squatting. He’d have access to proper medical care if something goes wrong or if he gets worse.

“He has to go. That stuipd Hero can take better care of him than we can.” He snarled at them and Toga stepped forward, knife held tight in her hands and shoulders loose. Only a noob underestimated Toga. He’d seen her fighting against Heroes and there was a reason he was unafraid to send her in amongst the Heroes to spy.

“I am not giving Dabi up. If we have to steal a nurse then I can just take their place until Dabi is able to come with.” She took another measured step in Tomura’s direction.

‘Hold on, Maybe the boss has a plan. Shut and let her kill him! Like, we give him to the Heroes and they wouldn’t just kill a sick man right? Yes they would, they’ll kill us all.” Jin held his head in hands as he struggled to word what he wanted to convey. Tomura watched with frustrated red eyes as he argued with himself. This was not what he meant at all. What kind of leader leads their team straight to the enemy when their health bar is so low?

“Then we break him out right? That’s stupid and risky. I wouldn’t do jackshit for that weak guy. Survival of the fittest.” Jin looked up at him and his eyes were watering.

“We’re not handing him over to the actual heroes? What the fuck guys?” his voice was low as he tried not to yell.

“You want to leave him here for anyone who comes by then? He’s sick, Tomura-kun!” Toga glared at him and the knife shifted in her hands. “He needs us! He needs the League! He would never let anything happen to you!”

Sako kept one hand splayed on Dabi as he carefully watched the one going argument with thinned lips. Dabi was starting to wake up due to their noise but it seemed as if this time he wasn’t fully making it to the world of waking. Continuing to sleep fitfully.

“He’s sick and not getting better.” Tomura delicately grabbed Toga’s sleeve when she went to swipe at him. “Most adults who are staying out almost every night with another person are generally fond of them. He'll be happy. He’s a fucking Hero and he can’t take care of him better than we could ever hope to!”

“What are you talking about?!” Shuichi crossed his arms, walking over to stand by his boss. At least one member was willing to listen to him.

“Dabi’s been recruiting a Hero. One of the top 10. The Hero can take our burnt bitch until he’s not dying. He has access to medical equipment and can bribe a doctor. Dabi’s going to recover a lot quicker in a clean area with proper care. And we, we just dont fucking have that right now.” Tomura grit his teeth as Toga pulled her arm back and the room was dead silent.

‘It won’t, it won’t always be like this. I have a plan okay?” Tomura flung the hair that tended to fall in his eyes back. Brushing strands behind his ears as he stared his members in the eye.

“But we are going to have to move and Dabi needs- think of it like giving him a vacation from us. He gets to go enjoy 3 meals a day, sleep better and some hot water. When he comes back we are going to be able to at least have a place for him to be kept stable.” None of them looked reassured.

“I don’t like it. I’ll kill the bird if he hurts a hair on Dabi’s head.” Twice reached out and felt the skin on Dabi’s clammy forehead. “Whatever we have to do. We don’t have to do this. We can kidnap a nurse. I'll be a nurse, I'll steal an outfit and everything.”

“So were we in agreement? We’re going to pass him to the Heroand when he’s recovered? We will never have to watch him go through this again.” Tomura tried to speak with conviction. As if he knew that the Hero was on their side. As if Dabi wasn’t dying feet from them of something a Hero would never dream of. He wanted to assure them it was alright and that he had a plan. Tomura had nothing. Nothing but riskier and riskier gambles for party members he couldn't sacrifice.

They’d all die. Either slow and sick, like Dabi. Or during his craptastic ‘plan’ to get them resources and money. Still, he got slow nods from the league and went outside to make the call. He was going to have to pull a better and less desperate plan out of thin air.

Several hours later Hawks walked into the base like he owned. It sent shivers up Tomura’s back. He was a Hero and they were Villains. They outnumbered him technically, yet he seemed perfectly at ease and hadn’t even bothered to let them know he was coming. When they were all on high alert with an injured party member. Maybe he was so cocky he thought that they couldn’t kill him by accident. Tomura knew they very well could with how keyed up they all were.

“What part of ‘Get your feathery ass here’ was unclear?” Tomura stepped into his space. Fathers hand covered his face as his hands shook and he scratched at his neck with familiar destructive anxiety. “No knocking? Are you that confident you're welcome here?”

“Didn’t think I really had to announce myself considering you were expecting me. Sorry I had duties to attend to on my way here. Where is he?” Hawks looked around as if expecting them to just hand over their gift wrapped team member. Grimacing as he reminded himself that although that’s what it felt like, that’s not what they were doing.

“Follow me. His room is back here.” He led Hawks back, hating every moment his back was turned to him. The way he stared made him uncomfortable.

“Couldn’t have been too bad if he’s not ready to go. He hates me spending time around you guys for some reason. Like he’s jealous I'm gonna cheat or something. Staples doesn't come across as a real insecure guy but you can’t judge a book by its cover right?” He threw a patented press smile at Tomura. Tomura didn’t want to decay the Hero. Hedidn’t want to slap that look off his face.

He wanted to ram his fist into the Hero’s perfect teeth and shove them down his throat. Wanted to see him starving, bleeding, asking for help. Wanted to rip that nose that wrinkled at their living spaces and shove it between his teeth, chew it and spit the mangled mess out.

He wanted an end to all the Heroes, and this one. This one was one he had to hand his second-in-command over to.

Best case scenario?

He was wrong and Hawks cared for Dabi. Then he would at least have someone who could attend to Dabi. Dabi could murder them when he was better and not a limp sack of scars and bones on a dumpster dived couch.

A room for everyone. With beds. Room to grow so no one was moving too often or trying to find a spare bed.

“Damn.” Hawks let out a low whistle as he walked up to Dabi. “You look like worse shit than usual.”

Dabi sleepily stumbled off the couch when Hawks started talking. Trying to back out of Hawks space at the same time as stay upright. He threw a hand over his mouth as he blearily looked around for a bucket. Sighing, Tomura placed it next to Dabi, who heaved into the bucket.

Dabi laid back down on the couch, covering himself with a ripped crochet blanket and closing his eyes with a low groan. Hawks stepped up and grabbed the blanket away from him, tossing it back over the back of the couch as he picked up the small framed Villain.

“I can take him off your hands. Doesn't seem real safe to be leaving him here so I’m glad you called me.” The hero’s smile didn’t reach his eyes. Leaving Tomura with a bad feeling. He had to put aside his own feelings about Heroes and how disgustingly performative they could be. Dabi shoved against the Hero’s chest and muttered feverishly.

“It’s just your boy-toy Dabi.” Tomura walked up to them and caught Dabi’s hand, smirking when Dabi looked up at him with blank glassy eyes. “You're going on Vacation, I’ll come get you when we’ve leveled up enough.”

Dabi’s expression remained blank as Hawks pulled him away. He didn’t watch as Hawks took Dabi out of the room and then out of the base. Quickly shoving the last bag of crap they had through the door. Bright ass winged fucker would bring Heroes down on their head even if he didn’t mean to. Which meant moving bases again.

Dabi had nightmares of being trapped in Hawks arms. Covered by his wings, the feathers being laid on him sharp and if he twitched too hard away they would slice his skin open. Hawks rubbing his back as he puked only to start plucking the staples out one by one and then jamming them back in. Hawks feeding him and making stupid noises as he shoved it down his throat. Of being used as he wove in and out of consciousness. Hawks cuming on his sleeping face or the seam line on his chest.

The next time Dabi was fully lucid he realized they were not nightmares.

He was somehow in Hawks apartment, an IV stuck in his arm and taped down. Dabi was horrified to realize he was naked beneath the sheet he was covered with. His chest seized and he coughed up gunk into his fist, Hawks walking around the corner saw him.

“Morning sleeping beauty.” The Hero shook a bottle in his hand as he walked over. Dabi flinched back and gritted his teeth as his legs cramped. His arm hurt and if it wasn’t for the scar tissue he was sure he would be able to see a dark bruise. As it was it ached and he couldn’t tell how bad the damage was.

“Fuck off.” He snapped at Hawks as the Hero tipped two pills into his hand and held them out. Dabi had no idea how long he had been here. It wouldn’t be the first time Dabi had woken up to Hawks having raped him. Or in the process of raping him.

There wasn’t anything gross around his thighs and he was in no more pain than usual. Reaching up to hold his pounding head revealed he couldn’t trust that though. Hair still damp so Hawks must have showered him. It wasn’t like his consent mattered to the Hero. “Sure if you want to end up right back here. How do you think you ended up here ‘Dabi’?” He questioned as Dabi stared at him. Hands in white knuckled fists holding on to the sheet. He picked at the IV shoved into his arm as he refused to answer. He didn’t know.

“The League gave you to me. They didn’t really want to wait around for you to suddenly be healthy.” Hawks said with an almost apologetic tone. Dabi looked from the pills he was holding out to the hero’s fake expression.

“I don’t believe you.” Dabi stared at the pills making no move to take them. Sighing Hawks turned the bottle around so Dabi could see it. Amoxicillin, regular antibiotics then, which made sense since Hawks needed him to try getting into the League. The IV was probably because he was dehydrated, which wasn’t unusual. Still, if he was awake there was no need to have it in. He swallowed the small capsules and peeled off the tape on his elbow. Gently easing out the needle.

“Well I’m the only thing you’ve got now.” Hawks smirked at him. Dabi looked away but Hawks grabbed him by the chin. The Hero’s thumb pressing directly on his staples and causing him to wince. He straddled Dabi’s waist and pressed a messy kiss to his lips. Dabi’s quirk smoldered ineffectively as he tried to force it to work. Hawks was moving too fast and he didn’t want this, unable to concentrate enough to use his quirk as Hawks gripped him to tighty and grabbed his dick.

A flicker of flame escaped and Hawks sighed at the sight of it. The Hero didn’t waste time reaching over to the coffee table and dumping the glass of water on it.

“Is that your way of telling me you want me to take us to the shower so I can have my fun?” Acidic yellow eyes bored into Dabi’s as he tried to force his heavy limbs to move.

“It’s my way of telling you to leave me the fuck alone.” He snapped back at the Hero. Hawks looking fake affronted as his phone rang. “I’ll be back, we can discuss how to plan to pay your way here if it’s not with your body when I get back.”

Hawks left out the door and Dabi stood up, starting the search for clothes he could escape in. Knowing Hawks he wouldn’t be gone long. He eventually found a pair of sweats he shoved on after looking everywhere for his clothes. Hawks must have thrown them out.

The Hero had, of course, came through the door right as he was leaving. Trying to disappear into the setting sun as Dabi coughed and tried to get himself down the fire escape faster. Hawks walked through the door after him, not bothering to rush as he turned and shut the door after himself. He stuck his hands in his pockets and cracked his neck as he stalked down after Dabi.

“Aren't we past this? Where are you even going, Dabi? I told you the League gave you up, they moved as well. Who knows where they are at this point.” The Hero walked after him. “I take care of you don’t I?”

“You’ve fucking drugged and raped me.” Dabi shouted back at him, voice raspy as his lungs refused to draw in enough air. He coughed and mucus came up his throat. He spat it at Hawks. Dabi had no idea how long it had been that he was with the Hero but… At this point he was starting to believe Hawks. The League must have given up on him. Determined that he was no longer a use to them with his stupid ragdoll body and poor health. He had just been using them right back to achieve his own goals so he couldn't really blame them.

A coughing fit seized Dabi. He wheezed, doubled over in the alley, as Hawks blocked the light coming into it. The Hero’s yellow eyes nearly glowed. Dabi was reminded of fool’s gold. He was a fool for ever falling for him.

Hawks walked up to him The Hero placed his chemical scented hand over Dabi’s mouth and nose, waiting until he passed out and fell to the ground with a roll of his eyes. Hawks easily picked up the Villain and tossed him over his own shoulder. walking back the block to his apartment with the villain slung over his shoulder.

Dabi woke up to being thrown on the bed painfully. Uncaring if it hurt or the state he would end up in afterwards he blindly reached for his quirk. He should just cremate the Hero and steal his apartment. His quirk didn’t come to him and Hawks gave a smug grin as he pulled the Villain’s sweats down. Trying to kick him with his heavy limbs did nothing.

“You look cute in my borrowed clothes. How am I supposed to resist you when you look all sexy flushed like this? I could keep you like this, you know. Never let you finish the antibiotics. Would be fun until they no longer worked at least.” He hummed as he stroked Dabi’s thigh.

There was shouting as Dabi was brought back to himself and Hawks was throwing pants on himself as he shouted at Twice. Dabi let out a chuckle as he realized he was going insane, Twice was part of the League and no matter how good of a guy he was he wasn’t coming to save him.

“He’s not even responding to me. What did you do to him?” Twice yelled as he started making a clone of himself, splitting. The original spun around as Dabi laughed. What had Hawks been doing to him? “Dabi I came to check on you because this dickhead kept telling us you didn’t want to talk to us and we know that’s not true!” His mask was damp with tears and Dabi didn’t know what to say to an ex- friend. Coworker, whatever Twice was. “We hate you back.”

“He’s been uh, raping me. I think. You guys gave me to him though. So I don’t think he really expected anyone to visit.” he glanced around uncomfortably. What did they think the Hero would do with him when they decided to just do this without his consent?

There was a roar of outrage from Jin. Several clones of Twice were busy holding Hawks back as the original pulled Dabi out of bed. He numbly accepted it and pulled his sweats up. Jin was slinging his arm over his shoulder, gently helping him up.

“We can deal with him later. Can you walk? What about your quirk?” He asked as they moved towards the door. There was a sickening crunch Dabi knew well as the sound of bones being cracked and twisted, when he glanced back Hawks was dogpiled by clones. Even as they were destroyed more were made and Hawks wings were twisted to be facing downwards. Mangled and bloody as he was passed out. “Forget your quirk, it’s useless anyways.”

“I'd rather not use it if I don’t have to.” He muttered as Twice walked him down to street level. A warp portal in an alley waiting for them. The familiar noise of the League greeting his ears as they stepped through.

“Do you want to clean up before you're mobbed? We missed you.” He quietly commented as he quietly asked as they paused in what appeared to be a hallway. “We got you a room! I bet you’ll hate it! And your nurse!”

“What? Why do I have a room?” Dabi looked blearily around as he saw the

Examining the actual hallway in what appeared to be an actual house. Mansion actually.“I don’t need ujiko.”

“Shigaraki killed him before we took over the mansion.” Jin whispered to him,frowning before a thought occurred to him. “Wait, did you actually believe that asshole? That we just- just handed you over?”

“It doesn't matter. I’ll be out of the League's hair as soon as I shower.” He jerked himself away from Jin, shaking off the hand that went to hold him steady. “I’m fine.”

“No. we would never do that!” Jin shouted as he hovered near him. “Shigaraki actually had to fight us on it. We couldn’t wait to get rid of you! We didn’t want to give you to him at all!”

“Then why did I wake up in his apartment? Drugged up with him telling me how you had led him right to me when he was the reason I had an infection in the first place?” He snapped at Jin as Shigaraki came around the corner. Another coughing fit starting up. His breathing made a whistling noise as he breathed with his agitated lungs.

“What’s going on?” Shig narrowed his eyes at the state of his second in command. Neck already itching. Dabi had not been looked after obviously.

Dabi glared at him but didn’t answer as he stalked off down the hall. Jin shook his head when Shigaraki looked at him.

“Kill the bastard.” He told Shigaraki as he lit a cigarette. “We were wrong, He’s a dick that never should have been near one of us. He told Dabi that we just gave him up. We might as well have.” He wandered off as he went to tell the rest of the League that Dabi was back, but it was up in the air whether he would be staying.

The next evening after Shigaraki and Dabi had spent most of the day arguing over how Dabi exactly had ended up with Hawks. How the League had been ready to split over him abandoning one of them. That the mansion was at least in part brought about by Dabi being immunocompromised.

Shigaraki grinned as Kuroguri opened a portal to the Hero’s apartment. He just wanted a few words with him.

“Are you sure you don’t want anyone to accompany you, Young Tomura?” Kuroguri asked as Shigaraki popped the buttons holding on his artist gloves.

“I was the one that pushed for it. I was the one who assumed that they were something they obviously were not.” Shigaraki bit out as he threw his gloves on the floor in front of him, stepping through the portal as he rolled his shoulders.

He wrinkled his nose at the minimalist apartment, the place was spotless like no one lived in it and Hawks was removing his Hero uniform. Back to Shigaraki, He took advantage and activated his quirk, grabbing a vase and hurling it at the Hero. Hawks wings had stiffened the moment Shigarki had moved. Suddenly aware of the Villain despite him not making a noise. Several loose feathers hovering in the air despite his wings being wrapped tight in casts on his back.

“You thought we wouldn’t come for him? That he didn’t have anyone?” He hissed as he stalked forward. Hawks dodged the vase disintegrating as it flew towards him. Sending a few feathers his way, Shigaraki grabbed them midair with all 5 fingers. Not caring or truly even feeling the cuts they left.

“You're the one who just expected me to take someone into my home and not have them pay for it like some sort of freeloader.” The Hero sneered at Shigaraki. “He liked it anyways, came back enough times if I promised him something in return.”

Shigarki ran for him, sliding under a table and more feathers as he touched the floor with bloody hands. The floor quickly started to crumble as he shoved himself into Hawks space. Snagging a chair by the leg as he came out the other side.

“We both know you need my connections and money too much to kill me Shigaraki. One man is not worth your whole operation.” he smirked with that stupid look on his face again. The face of a man who had so much more than the League did and like nothing could touch him.

Hawks, distracted by his floor crumbling and unused to fighting in an enclosed space while stationary, didn't expect the leg of what had once been a chair to clock him in his face. It crumbled in Shigaraki’s hands and dropping it he slammed both hands against Hawks ribcage. Continuing to push as Hawks struggled to get the control necessary to send one of his feathers for him.They hovered wavering in the air before falling to the ground.

“Go fuck yourself Hero. The League does not have replaceable members. We’re not Heroes.” He growled out as Hawks crumpled. Shoving a fist as hard as he could into the Heroes face and grinning with insane satisfaction as he felt teeth break. Shoving them and his fist towards the back of his throat. Hawks choked on his own teeth as he decayed slowly.

Shigaraki carefully rinsed his hands off in Hawks’ sink, hurrying as the apartment itself started crumbling to dust. Bending down near the dust pile he scooped the soft pile into a jar. Screwing a lid on,. Toga had taken the liberty earlier of decorating it with rhinestones and drops of blood before writing Hawks name elegantly on it. He would leave it outside his friend’s door. It wouldn’t fix his mistake but at least it might show he didn’t want Dabi to leave.

[faefictions]

Stay

Harry Holland x Reader

Word Count: 2,839

Summary: Your best friend, Harry Holland, ghosts you while he’s away for work. The harder you try to get him back, the further he pulls away

Warnings: a lil angst

It had been three months. Harry, your best friend of 6 years, left for America and essentially forgot about you. You didn’t blame him, at first at least. He was following his dreams, and sure he was going to get busy. Working on set with his brother Tom left little downtime, but in the past he had always found time to send you stupid snapchats or tag you in memes he thought would annoy you (although they never did). 

This time was different though. He ignored you for about a month. At first, he never opened your messages, and never sent any himself. After a couple weeks, he started to open all of them, but he never replied. Some of those messages were nothing but rude to leave without a response, and it hurt to see him instantly read them, but never reply. 

After he did that for the 8th time in a row, you decided to call him. And when he didn’t pick up, you kept calling. You called until you eventually got sent straight to voicemail, and that was when the first message since he had left came through. 

“Sorry Love, busy right now. Is it important?”

If it weren’t important, you wouldn’t have been blowing up his phone, and he knew that. You had no idea, but he knew exactly what was going on. There was no way in Hell he was going to help it along, though. 

“Call me when you’re free,” was all you could reply with. You paced your apartment for an hour, thanking the forces of the universe that your roommate was out for the night and not experiencing your anxiety. 

You almost forgot about the time difference between New York and London. When he called at 1 am, you were about ready to explode, until it clicked that he was 5 hours behind you. So you took a deep breath and tried to at least forgive that one understandable misstep before you started the dreaded conversation. 

“Hey,” you awkwardly greeted, and he instantly read the discomfort in your voice. It was the conversation he had been dreading. 

“Hey, what’s up?”

“Are you serious, Harry?”

You didn’t sound angry at all, and that may have been what hurt most. You just sounded…desperate. 

“What do you mean?”

“Harry, why the fuck are you ignoring me?”

“I’m not. I told you, I was busy.”

“Busy all the times you’ve left me on read in the last month too? Look, I get that you and Tom are busy. I know that you’re working hard out there, but this is the first I’ve heard from you since you’ve left. So if I did something, please just tell me.”

“Y/n, I can’t just reply to everything you send me. I have more responsibility than last time, I’m doing a lot of shit. You can’t get mad over that.”

“Harry, I think we both know that’s bullshit. Paddy told me you were texting him last Saturday, complaining about how bored you were. I texted you twice that night, and was instantly left on read both times.”

“Ok, well Paddy’s my brother. Maybe I just wanted to talk to him. I missed him.”

“So you don’t want to talk to me then. Got it.”

“Y/n, no that’s not what-“

“No, I get it Harry. I’m not family. I don’t matter as much. You don’t have to say it.”

“God, you’re being fucking ridiculous.”

“Never mind, Harry. Forget I even called.”

“Really? You’re going to act like that?”

“I’m being serious, Harry. Forget I called, forget I texted, just forget I exist. You seem to be good at that.”

“Y/n, you’re being fucking ridiculous. I didn’t do anything wrong.”

“Ok, whatever, just… have fun in America, Harry.”

And with that, you hung up. 

You weren’t sure if Harry would have kept leaving you on read after that, because you didn’t have the heart to send anything anymore. But he wasn’t reaching out either, so you took it as a safe bet that he didn’t care much anymore. And you didn’t blame him. Sure, you didn’t understand it before, but you had blown up on him. He hated confrontation, so no matter how much you hated him for the initial transgression, you had to remind yourself that this was partially your fault, and he now had reason to be just as upset with you. 

You started losing sleep, and that never really stopped. Losing Harry felt like losing a big part of yourself. You tried avoiding his family after that, Harrison included. They were tangled into your life, and it felt like you were ripping a prickly barb from a poorly knitted sweater. You just couldn’t get them out of your life without it all starting to unravel. 

After the first month, the second of which Harry had been gone, they all took the hint. Paddy and Nikki stopped inviting you over on the weekends, or to their lonely family dinners. Harrison stopped checking in on you. He had claimed that it was Harry’s idea at first, but you saw right through that lie. 

The third month, your mental health dropped drastically. You were only getting a couple hours of sleep a night, you were working yourself to the bone. And while the money was nice, your boss was threatening to make you take time off. Even she could tell that that something was seriously wrong. 

When you started to make mistakes in your work, expensive mistakes, she forced you to go midday. She told you to take the rest of the week off, pleading with you to get some rest. You were just glad that you hadn’t been fired. 

That day, you went home and spent the rest of daylight in bed, nothing but silence filled the room. When your roommate, Kayla, came home and found you quietly staring at the ceiling, she offered to take you out to dinner, but you didn’t have the energy. 

“Y/n when are you going to get over this? You’ve been depressed for over a month now. This isn’t healthy, and I swear you’re not even trying. I don’t want to be that bitch, but you need to get off your ass and get over it. So get up, we’re going out.”

You gave her a dirty look, but you knew she was right. You didn’t want to get over Harry, because you didn’t want it to really be over. But it had been long enough, and neither of you had heard from the other, so you let out a loud groan and got out of bed to put on some real pants so you could go out. 

You didn’t look half as decent as you usually did on nights out. You barely put effort into your outfit, you weren’t even entirely sure it matched. You didn’t put on any makeup, so your under-eye bags were dark enough to almost seem like you had been in a fight. 

Kayla would have encouraged you to at least try to look like your normal self, but just getting you out of bed was enough of an achievement for the night. 

She ended up taking you to your favorite restaurant, but it did nothing for your mood. Harry had taken you there dozens of times. He always insisted on taking you to dinner for your birthday, and his brothers would always find a way to infiltrate your night, but you never minded. You loved their company. 

Being there just reminded you of him. When your food arrived, you excused yourself to the bathroom, needing a moment alone to clear your head. Staring at yourself in the mirror helped you take a few breaths, but you couldn’t get Harry off of your mind. Half of you wished that he was there with you, but the other half was still mad at him. Mad at him for ignoring you for a month. Mad at him for pretending like that wasn’t what he had been doing. But most of all, you were mad at him for leaving things how they were. Of course you could have called or texted, it was a two way street, but you were afraid that he would just ignore you again, and you didn’t know if you would be able to handle that kind of rejection. 

You tried to take one last deep breath before going back out, but when you opened the door to make your way back to the table, the breath was knocked out of you. Harrison was sitting at the table with Kayla, and she didn’t look one bit surprised to see him. 

You weren’t in the mood for an intervention, so you made a beeline for the front doors, trying to keep your head down as you passed their table so they wouldn’t see you leave. In hindsight, you should have known that getting out of there undetected wasn’t plausible, but Harrison’s voice calling your name didn’t so much as make you pause. 

The night air was colder than you had remembered it being just 20 minutes prior. It could have been the cold, the lack of food in your system, or the anxiety bubbling in your stomach just from seeing one of Harry’s closest friends, or a combination of all three that was making your body tremble. 

You could only imagine how pathetic you looked. You already looked like you were sick from the lack of effort you put in to your appearance, and the tears rushing to yours eyes didn’t help either. You were about to ready to rush into an alleyway to hope for the best while you rode out the wave of tears, but as you took a sharp turn around a corner, you crashed into someone, almost sending you both to the ground if it weren’t for his steadying hand on your upper arm. 

You knew instantly, the sweatshirt and cologne were a dead give away, but you were in denial. Sure enough, you looked up to meet those brown eyes that you loved oh so much, yet somehow despised even more. You thought you had looked bad, but he looked almost worse, which surprised you. The bags under his eyes were darker than you had ever seen them, and his hair was disheveled. You were almost embarrassed to admit that you recognized the sweats he was wearing as the only thing he would wear when he was throwing a fit, but this was much more than a measly tantrum. This was a heartbreak. 

“Hey,” he stumbled breathlessly. You were a little relieved to see how surprised he was to run into you. You would have originally guessed this was all a big set up that he was a part of, but he seemed to be just as clueless as you. Still, you couldn’t muster up the courage to greet him like he wanted, so with a half hearted smirk, you tried to rush past him. He was having none of that though.

After you hung up the phone that night, he had known he fucked up, but he was too stubborn for his own good. You had told him that as a joke a million times, but now he knew what you meant. 

He blocked your path just before you could pass, and if it weren’t for his pleading eyes, you would have just pushed right through him. 

“Please, don’t walk away.”

“What do you want?”

“Are you serious?”

“Dead.”

“I-I just want to talk.”

“Really, Harry? You’ve had, what, four months to want to talk? Must not be that important.”

“Y/n, don’t do this again.”

“Do what, Harry? You fucking abandoned me, without so much as an explanation as to why, but I’m supposed to be happy to see you? Is that what you want? You want me to just forget how shitty you made me feel for four months and just jump into your arms?”

“No, I-“

“Then what the fuck do you want, Harry?”

“Y/n, you’re making a scene.”

“I will make a scene if I goddamn please, Harold.”

He let out a sigh, a moment of silence passed over the both of you. You almost took it as a chance to walk away, but something inside you was screaming to stay. 

“When’s the last time you slept? You look like shit,” he asked, his eyes finally coming up to meet yours. You would have slapped him on the shoulder if his concern wasn’t written so explicitly on his face. 

“How endearing.”

“You know how I meant it,” he gave you a sad half smile. 

“Look, I can’t do this right now. Today has been shitty enough, I just can’t handle-“

“What happened today?”

“I’m not really in the mood to divulge that information to you. I just wanna go home.”

“I’m sorry.”

“It’s fine.”

“No, I don’t mean for asking that. I’m…I’m sorry for leaving you on read. For ignoring all your calls. For not hitting you up in my spare time. And I’m sorry for not reaching out after that last phone call.”

“Ok, thanks, but sorry isn’t going to change anything.”

“Well what do you need from me then?”

Need. That word almost made you stumble back. He didn’t sound annoyed by the fact that you weren’t immediately forgiving him after his apology, as he usually would. He wasn’t asking what you wanted from him, he was asking what you needed, and that seemed to make a world of difference in your heart. 

“An explanation,” you murmured after a second of silence, but he heard you loud and clear. 

“I don’t know if I can give that to you.”

“Ok, then let me know when you can. In the meantime, I’ll be walking home.”

“Y/n, please.”

“No, all I’m asking is why. If you can’t give me that, then this isn’t worth it in the first place. I’ll see you around, Harry.”

He didn’t block you as you walked away, but it may have just been because he saw the tears in your eyes. He knew you hated crying in front of other people. 

You must have made it half a block away before he turned around and called something after you, but you couldn’t hear him over your sniffles. 

“What?” you asked as you turned back around to see him jogging towards you. 

“I missed you.”

“Ok… I missed you too?”

“No, I mean, it’s the shittiest excuse, but… I missed you too much. Talking to you, knowing you were a world away living your life without me, it just, it hurt too much. And I sound like a fucking idiot saying it out loud, and I think that’s partially why I didn’t want to tell you, but that’s why. So, please, don’t go.”

“You missed me too much?” you asked, implicitly calling out his bullshit. 

“Yes, I promise that was the reason.”

“Usually when you miss someone, you just, I don’t know, fucking call them.”

“I know, and I should have. I should have replied to every single one of your messages, and I should have sent you one every single time I thought about you. I should have told you how things were going every night, just like I wanted to. I should have caved and just told you how much I fucking loved you, but I didn’t.”

“You what?”

Both of you could barely breathe as he looked nervously into your eyes, trying to gauge your reaction. He sensed nothing but surprise though. 

“Loved you. Love, I guess, since I still do. Always have.”

“Well that’s terrible timing, because I fucking hate you,” you said finally cracking a smile. 

“Ok, I deserve that,” he admitted, smiling right back. 

“You really mean it? You’re not just trying to find a way out of the situation?”

“I mean it.”

“Promise?” you asked, more seriously this time, as you stuck out your pinky. Without hesitation, he linked his own with yours. 

“Ok… I think you owe me a drink before I can reciprocate.”

“That sounds about fair.”

“Maybe dinner too.”

“You got it.”

He pulled you in for a big hug, and the faded smell of his cologne on that sweatshirt was enough to calm every nerve in your body. You had missed him more than you had cared to admit. 

“Let’s get you home, I was serious about you looking like shit,” he said, and you decided to hit him on the shoulder this time. He laughed at you, knowing full well that he deserved it, and that smile melted your heart. 

You walked the whole way back to your apartment with his arm around your shoulder. Sure, deep down, you still resented him just a little for putting you through the past four months, but it was nothing that a little teasing and guilting him into buying food for you for a month wouldn’t fix. Nothing, not even this, could come between the two of you, and you hoped that nothing would ever try again. 

[leviathanswingman]

killing me softly, chapter 7: tired, red eyes

Diavolo clicked his tongue in annoyance and moved away from Lucifer, quickly smoothing down his clothes. „Come in,“ he then said to whoever had been waiting outside.

The door opened and three of Lucifer's brothers entered the room.

„Satan, Mammon, Beel. What do you want?“ Lucifer asked, his voice raspy.

Satan walked over to the bed and mustered his older brother for a moment.

„Diavolo told us you're sick, old man.“

Of course he would've told his brothers. For a second Lucifer side-eyed Diavolo before returning his attention to his family.

„Old man? Show me at least a little bit of respect, Satan. Your little rebel act is tiring.“ He sighed before continuing. This whole situation was a pain in the ass. „But since you're already here, yes, I have indeed fallen ill.“

„Help me out here, your stubborn brother has-“ Diavolo started, but was interrupted.

„Caught a simple flu. It seems like I've overworked myself in the thralls of our party preparations and because of that, my health has suffered. There's no need for you to worry about me,“ Lucifer lied through his teeth, his expression as calm as usual.

There was no need to pull his brothers into his mess as well. This was a mess he himself had created and felt responsible for. He should be able to solve it by himself.

Additionally, his brothers were always joking about Lucifer's obvious infatuation with Lord Diavolo. If they were to find out he had caught the hanahaki disease they would immediately know who must've been the cause of it. And knowing his idiot brothers, they would certainly try to solve this problem for Lucifer, only to create even more mayhem in the process.

That was just the way they were, and Lucifer definitely didn't need all of that additional drama in his life right now.

Satan's expression turned somewhat sour as he crossed his arms and averted his eyes.

„I'm not worried about you, why should I be? By the way, you look like absolute shit.“

„Duly noted. Charming as always.“

Mammon and Beel stepped up to Lucifer's bedside as well.

„Oi Lucifer, I know ye're sick and all, but why aren't ya in your own bed? Been looking all over for ya, but ya weren't in yer own room. What the hell are ya doing in Lord Diavolo's bed?! Nevermind, back to my point. Return Goldie!!“ Mammon moaned as he grabbed Lucifer by the shoulders and shook him in desperation.

“Mammon, you shouldn't treat a sick person like that,” Beel threw in as he observed the scene.  “Lucifer, do you need anything? I could get you some cursed batwing soup. It's good for the soul.”

For a moment, Lucifer was frozen in place as his surroundings started to blur. Now it all made sense. The room had looked suspiciously familiar from the very beginning, yet he hadn't been able to figure out exactly why.

Now he had the confirmation he needed. Diavolo had brought him to his own private chambers. Lucifer's heart ached a little at the thought of Diavolo carrying him to his own chambers and putting him in his own bed of all things. He could've just called Barbatos to bring Lucifer back to his own room, yet he hadn't done that.

The vines in his lungs shifted slightly,not enough to make Lucifer choke on flowers again, but enough for him to rub his chest to alleviate the pain. He coughed once and could tell that he had coughed up yet another bloody petal. Luckily, it wasn't a full flower this time. He assumed this was a good sign. If given the choice of full on coughing up bloody flowers in front of his brothers, roses of all things, or instant death, Lucifer would choose death without hesitation. After all, he had his reputation as the strict oldest brother to uphold; the head of the family.

Slowly and carefully, he hid his fist which was closed tightly around the petal under the covers and right at this moment, Diavolo looked at him, eyebrows raised.

It was still utterly weird for Lucifer to know that Diavolo now knew of his embarrassing secret.

Lucifer slapped Mammon's hand off his shoulder and threw him a dark look. “You want your credit card back? How strange that now, you come to me. If I recollect correctly you've had plenty of opportunities to ask me before. If I didn't know any better I'd say you're trying to take advantage of a sick person. You wouldn't do that now, would you dearest baby brother?” he then said, his tone of voice malicious, yet still there was a creepy smile plastered to his face.

Mammon moved at god's speed and put a safe distance between himself and his brother. “Uh, no. No, no, no, I would never do that, hehe,” he stammered as he scratched his head in an aloof fashion.

All of a sudden, Beel started to sniff multiple times in quick succession. “Something smells weird,” he concluded. “Do you smell that?”

“No, not all of us are freaking deviants like you, Beel!”

“Rude. But I'm serious.” He sniffed again and then turned around to investigate the room. “It's weird. I definitely smell roses, but I can't see any close by.”

Lucifer froze again and quickly glanced at Diavolo, who glanced back at him in a sheepish manner.

“Well, Asmodeus was just here, maybe he's trying out some new perfume and that's what's left the scent?” Diavolo suggested.

“Weird, he normally goes for different scents. Whatever,” Beel finally concluded as he shrugged his shoulders.

Secretly, Lucifer let out a deep breath. Just as he felt safe enough to know that they had successfully mislead his brothers, thrown them off his scent, you might say, he caught Satan staring at him with wide eyes. You could practically see the wheels turning in his head as he mustered Lucifer with interest, finger tapping on his chin as he took in the data he'd just collected.

“No way,” he mumbled and Mammon and Beel both looked at Satan in confusion.

“What, no way?! Speak up ya damn bonehead!”

Satan still mustered Lucifer until his gaze slowly wandered over to Lord Diavolo. “No fucking way. You've got to be shitting me. I know we are always joking about this, but for you to actually...”

Once again, Lucifer found himself being simultaneously surprised and annoyed by his little brother's pristine deduction skills. At this point, he might even be a match to Barbatos.

“Language, Satan. If you have a problem, come and talk to me later,” he threw in in a clipped tone of voice, hoping that Satan would show him an ounce of respect for once and follow track.

Apparently, it was Lucifer's lucky day. Satan seemed to mull it over for a moment, then simply nodded and took off, waving without turning around. “Hope you die, old man!”

Before Lucifer could grab the closest object to throw against Satan's head, Diavolo put his hands on his shoulders and pressed him deeper into the bed.

“Did you forget you're supposed to rest? Don't force me to play nurse for you. This is a threat and you know I will go through with it if I have to.”

Lucifer grumbled a few inaudible words before he obeyed. He huffed once as he started to massage his left temple.

“These brats are going to kill me one day.”

“Oi!” Mammon, who was still present with Beel at his side, yelled out. “Don't treat me like a child! I'm the second oldest here!”

“I wasn't talking about you specifically, Mammon, but the fact that you do feel addressed speaks worlds and is intriguingly alarming.”

As Mammon sputtered, thinking of a smart comeback, Beel grabbed him by the arm and pulled him towards the door.

“We're leaving. Get well soon, Lucifer. I'll bring you some cursed batwing soup so you can recover as quick as possible. Lord Diavolo, please take care of my brother.”

Beel indicated a bow before he left, dragging a protesting Mammon with him.

Now that they were alone again, Lucifer's shoulders slumped and he coughed into a handkerchief Diavolo had given him as a present mere months ago. Diavolo looked at Lucifer and sighed before he let himself fall onto the bed lazily, lying vertically spread over Lucifer's legs.

“What am I gonna do with you, huh? I haven't seen you this rebellious ever since we met,” he mused. “Be glad that I always have your back. If your troublesome brothers were to figure out what you're hiding pandemonium would break loose,” he chuckled as he turned over on his stomach, resting on his elbows and drowsily cupping his cheeks with his hands as he swung his legs back and forth. “That must be one amazing person to get you to act like this. How jealous I am!” he chuckled, his gaze turning dark for a moment as he stared into the distance.

He snapped back as he realized it'd been eerily quiet for far too long.

“Lucifer?”

No answer came except for the muted sounds of someone struggling for air, inhaling deeply in rapid succession.

All this time, he had managed to hold it in. No matter how much his lungs ached and no matter how much effort it took him to swallow down the petals and swallow down the petals over and over again until it felt like they piled on and on, forming a huge pile. Now that his brothers had left, Lucifer had the right to feel free to vomit to his heart's content. Still, that did in no way mean that he wanted to. It meant the exact opposite of that, to be precise.

Of course, logically speaking, there was no use in hiding his hanahaki from the object of his affection anymore, but that didn't mean he felt neither confident nor safe enough in doing it right in front of him.

As Diavolo turned his head, he saw Lucifer desperately struggling for air, the handkerchief pressed tightly onto his mouth.

A big bud with a thick stem and sharp thorns tried to force its way up Lucifer's bronchus. He could feel the thorns ripping open tissue, slowly and painfully as Lucifer did his most to keep it in place.

Until Diavolo is gone, I must hold on until then, he tried to convince himself.

Torture wasn't something he was unfamiliar with, he was a demon after all., so he kept the handkerchief pressed tightly onto his mouth, refusing to spill over; refusing to let the truth of his affection be on display where it couldn't be denied anymore, for the whole devildom to witness.

A line of blood trickled down the corner of his mouth, leaving red spots on the otherwise pristine handkerchief.

“What are you doing?!” Diavolo shouted as he realized what Lucifer was trying to do. Upon hearing Diavolo's voice Lucifer averted his gaze and turned his head as he suddenly tumbled over.

Diavolo hurried over the bed to his side, straddling his lap as he yanked Lucifer's hands off his mouth, pinning them against the headboard.

“You and that damn pride of yours! You have to let it out,” he growled as he stared into Lucifer's eyes. “You're going to suffocate! You may be a demon but you still need air!”

For a moment Diavolo saw himself reflected in tired, red eyes as they pooled over with tears of exhaustion and Lucifer finally gave in.

He was retching heavily as the bud of a white rose fought its way out of his mouth in agonizing slowness.

Still, Lucifer kept on struggling. The stem had separated from the bud and was stuck in his throat, thick thorns lodged deeply in pink tissue, threatening to suffocate him at any moment.

In a panic, he tapped one of Diavolo's hands with the tips of his fingers. Understanding what he wanted, Diavolo immediately let go of that hand. There was no hesitation, he fully trusted Lucifer to do the right thing.

Now free again, Lucifer reached into his mouth with trembling fingers until they curled around the dislodged stem.

Gasping, he pulled out the deadly stem and a mouthful of blood quickly followed. Some of it spattered onto Diavolo's uniform, blending in with the crimson colour of his uniform. Diavolo let go of Lucifer's other hand.

Desperately, Lucifer took in deep breaths of air, his lungs aching with relief. Subconsciously, he had  gripped Diavolo's hand which had been resting on the sheets tightly as he attempted to ground himself.

A few last coughs left his mouth before he slowly sank forward until his head rested against Lord Diavolo's shoulder, admitting momentary defeat.

The room was completely silent except for Lucifer's ragged breaths. Even if he wanted to talk, he was in no place to do so at that moment. His throat felt completely shattered. His mind felt completely shattered. Of course, he felt utterly ashamed to rely on Diavolo like this, felt utterly ashamed over what had just occurred. Most of all, he was ever so tired, so for a short moment, he allowed himself to forget his pride and rest like this; leaning onto Diavolo in complete yet certainly not uncomfortable silence. In secret, as his forehead rested against Diavolo's sturdy shoulder, he breathed in the demon prince's scent.

Leather and honey with a hint of smoke. A scent that was so familiar, yet also so unknown to him.

Lucifer still hadn't let go of Diavolo's hand. He knew this would come back to bite him in the ass once it all was over, but right now he couldn't bring himself to let go. Right now, he needed Diavolo. Being alone was neither an option nor a possibility.

Diavolo squeezed Lucifer's hand in return, letting his fingers roam over his knuckles down to his fingertips, running back up to his wrist, following the traces of his veins.

For once, in this intimate embrace, Lucifer felt comforted by Diavolo's presence. Instead of the straining of his lungs, he felt a strange kind of serenity.

His breathing slowly calmed down and Diavolo slid his other hand up the back of Lucifer's neck before burying it in his hair. Slowly, he let his fingers run through the dark strands as he let himself fall forward as well and leaned against Lucifer's shoulder in return,his fingers still steadily working through Lucifer's hair.

Lucifer could feel his hot skin through the thin fabric of his sleeveless turtleneck and let out a shuddered breath.

“Lucifer,” Diavolo murmured, not lifting his head, “don't ever scare me like that again. I can't lose you, I just can't. I won't let you die just because you love someone. You're too precious. Just too precious. My beautiful Morning Star.”

Too exhausted to argue, Lucifer simply nodded, positive that Diavolo would feel the movement against his shoulder. Finding comfort in the warmth of Diavolo's body, Lucifer's eyelids slowly started to flutter as he felt the much needed heaviness of sleep take over his senses.

“I'm coming in,” Satan said way too late before he opened the door to Lord Diavolo's chambers with way too much force, hoping to get a kick out of Lucifer like that. As he took a step in and observed the scene, Satan quietly evaluated his life choices that had brought him to this moment.

He had come to confront Lucifer with the fact that he had caught hanahaki and had attempted to hide it from everything and everyone, except for perhaps Lord Diavolo. But based on the way they had acted back then with Mammon and Beel, it was quite clear that Lord Diavolo couldn't have known for far too long either.

Satan found himself slightly confused by the situation, since Lord Diavolo himself was quite obviously the cause of Lucifer's illness, so he had come to clear things up so they could make more sense in his head. The state of unnerving confusion was one of the things Satan detested the most and because of this, his urgent need to make Lucifer's life as hard as possible was overpowered by the even bigger need to unlock all of the secrets of the universe.

However, just as he took his first step into the room, he froze in place.

The back of the bed, where the pillows were still stacked up neatly against the headboard, was covered in an unholy amount of blood and in that pool of blood were lying the separated bud of a white rose and a big stem with thick thorns.

In the middle of the bed were none other than Lucifer and Lord Diavolo, both lying on their sides, apparently fast asleep. They were facing each other, Lucifer's face buried in the crook of Diavolo's neck while Diavolo's head rested softly on top of Lucifer's. Most to Satan's surprised, their hands were connected between them, elbows bent slightly to fit in the space between them.

For a moment, Satan just stared in horrid confusion.

“Good grief,” he eventually uttered as he quickly went up to the bed, disposed of the flower bud and stem, covered the blood stains and then pulled a soft blanket over Lucifer and Diavolo's sleeping forms.

Normally, if he had caught Lucifer in such an indicting situation, he would have taken photos and videos to ridicule his oh so picture perfect oldest brother, right now however, that sort of malice had left his mind.

“He's a fool after all,” he muttered as he took one last glance at his older brother and closed the door, “but if he thinks he got away scot free just like that he's completely wrong though.”

As his fingers lingered on the doorknob for a second, a small smile hushed over Satan's face. This was the first time he had ever seen his brother show this much vulnerability. Surprisingly, Satan found himself unable to hate Lucifer just this once.

Chapter 1, Chapter 2, Chapter 3, Chapter 4, Chapter 5, Chapter 6 , Chapter 8, Chapter 9, Chapter 10, Chapter 11, Chapter 12, Chapter 13

*nsfw chapter

taglist: @el-does-photography

[isa-ly]

I’M GETTING A DIVORCE

TW: eating disorders, body image, weight, mental illness, depression, anxiety

Yesterday evening was rough. Completely out of the blue, getting-hit-by-a-freight-train type of rough. Usually, when these evening or days occur, I just kind of tend to start fresh the next day and pretend they never happened. Because everyone has bad days, even if you’ve worked hard to restore your general mental health, and it’s okay to just let those days pass and work on being kinder to yourself once the sun rises again.

However, I also want to actively work on not simply ignoring them all together, because while it’s a good thing not to dwell on bad days for too long, it’s also a good thing to not just repress them. And as we all know, I’m quite guilty of doing the latter and labeling it as “fine” when, in fact, it is everything but fine. Keeping a positive spirit is admirable but shutting out everything that cracks the surface of your facade is just not gonna work in the long run. Every emotion is valid and if I can acknowledge feeling happy and comfortable, I can just as well acknowledge feeling sad and shitty.

So, I’m making a compromise. While I don’t really want to talk about how and why yesterday evening was rough, I am still going to talk about something else that sometimes feels equally as hard and difficult to me. As already mentioned in the trigger warnings, there’s going to be talk about eating disorders, specifically anorexia nervosa, as well as body image and weight again. So, if that is in any way harmful to you and you own journey, feel free to just drop this post like a hot potato. (I think this actually is a German proverb, but it sounds so funny in English, so I’m just going for it.)

Now, what I’m about to say might sound somewhat controversial or really, really fucked up but I’ve found that when it comes to eating disorders (and any other mental illness, really), the darkest parts are often the ones you have to really take a good look at, even if it hurts and sounds shocking. And calling them out, dragging them into the open to point at them with your finger, is the only thing that will make them palpable enough to get rid of them. Once again, the Harry-Potter-boggart analogy works quite well here.

Shame and fear fester comfortably in the darkest corners of your brain, like a disgusting mold that slowly takes over. And I don’t really want a moldy brain, so I once again want to use this blog openly talk about something that is nothing short of crappy and awful, in order to take some of its power away. And also just to be honest, with myself and everyone else who happens to read this.

There’s a lot of reasons why it’s incredibly hard to recover from an eating disorder. Of course nothing is impossible, least of all recovery, but I still struggle almost every single day to keep pushing forward. Sometimes that struggle is close to nothing, sometimes it’s manageable and sometimes it seems like the end of the world. And one of the many reasons why it can feel like that last one, is what I and many others who have suffered from this illness like to call “nostalgia for your eating disorder”.

I think we can all agree that regardless of whether you have one or not: Eating disorders are shit. They really suck ass, to no one’s surprise. If I had one wish and one wish only to make, I wouldn’t even have to hesitate a single second: It would be for my ED to vanish forever and never return. Easy. So, then why in the living hell would I feel nostalgic for it? Why would I be hesitant to call my ED out for the life-ruining piece of shit it is? Why do I sometimes catch myself wishing back the times where I would go to bed hungry, where I would feel so in control despite never really having it? Where I would lie and deceive and watch my life slowly fall apart? What idiot would miss something like that?

Well ... an idiot with an eating disorder. 

Alright, I’m not an idiot. And neither is anyone else who feels nostalgia towards this illness. Because even if it sounds ridiculous and outrageous: It’s in fact completely normal to have these thoughts and feelings.

I’ve mentioned before how, when I first crashed into the world of anorexia, it felt like I had completely lost myself and what I had considered to be my personality to this new, foreign entity that had taken over my life in a matter of days. Because actually, for a lot of people – myself included – that is exactly what eating disorders are: A filler for a gap that you don’t know how to close yourself. Like a plug to a tub that has been running out, or a bandaid to a wound that won’t stop bleeding. It’s an emergency solution to a problem that threatens to swallow you. And often times, emergency solutions can’t be analyzed or fact-checked for risk and danger because, well, it’s an emergency. And you’ll accept anything you can get to rescue yourself in that moment.

Back when I developed anorexia, I was completely lost in life. I didn’t know who I was or who I wanted to be and trying to answer that question overwhelmed me so much, that the only way to cope was to let someone, something else, fill the big black hole that was ripping itself through my chest. Coping comes in all shapes and forms. And mine had the form of a sneaky and cunning eating disorder. 

Often, that is why personality and eating disorders go hand in hand. Because it’s so much more than just an illness that fucks up the way you eat and live. It’s a whole new face you get to put on. It’s terrifying, but that terror is exciting and new because it’s an opportunity. It makes you miserable but at least it makes you something. It fills that void, that fear of being lost. It gives you purpose, and it gave me purpose too when I was at my very lowest. I didn’t know who I was or what to do and anorexia gave me a set of rules, a daily schedule and Do’s and Dont’s that I had to follow, as it watched over me like a hawk. 

Sometimes I see it almost like a parasite, like that weird alien from The Thing that takes on the form of a person to trick you into thinking it’s your friend. Anorexia is very, very skilled at that. And because it’s so skilled at it, it manages to completely convince you of the fact that it is now a crucial part of you that you will never, ever be able to let go again. It’s almost like a personality substitution and that’s exactly why it gets so hard to see it as something entirely foreign that you need to get rid of instead of clinging onto it.

And here’s the thing: As I started recovery and as I started fighting against everything anorexia told me to do, I realized that this fight also meant going back to my very old problem of not knowing who I was. In all the time of being sick and starving, I was at least “relieved” of the burden of having to question what I wanted from life. Not a very balanced deal, I know, but again: emergency solution. 

However, now that I was finally trying to get better and heal, that age old question came back again: What the fuck am I doing? And I could hear my eating disorder chuckling at the back of my mind:

That’s right. I might be ruining your life but who are you without me? No one. You have no idea what to do or where to go. You have no idea who you even are. That’s why I’m here. And besides: Nobody knows you like I do.

And that’s another part of the reason for nostalgia. Please forgive the poor comparison but the closest I can get to making an analogy to it, is to compare it to the principle of Stockholm Syndrom. Just so maybe the notion of it can be understood easier. Because anorexia is abusive and horrible, it literally made me starve myself, made me depressed and hate everything about life. It caged me in and held me captive to the point where I had no freedom, no choice, no joy or happiness left. It ruined everything. 

And all the while it caused me all of that horror, it’s also the only other thing, the only other “person”, voice, existence in my head that shares those memories with me. That knows exactly what I went through. Because we went through it together. It caused me all this pain and trauma – but it also shared it with me. I was never alone, not really, because even when I felt like there was no one or nothing left: Anorexia was always there. Every second of the day and every step of the way. I, it, both of us, know things that to this day, are unspeakable to me. That to this day, I haven’t told anyone because the fact that I was capable of doing such things, still scares me every time I think about them.

We share what are undoubtedly the worst and most painful memories of my entire life and as much as I fucking hate it, I cannot undo this connection. It’s a fucked up bond that I will always have with my eating disorder, even if it makes me angry and frustrated. It’s a connection I never asked for or wanted, but it’s still there and all I can do is learn how to process it in a way where it no longer holds me back and defines me.

Which is the reason for today’s blog title, by the way.

Actually, I got that analogy from a documentary about, you guessed it, eating disorders. In it, one of the counselors at an inpatient clinic compared recovery to the process of divorce. An eating disordered person might very well be aware that they’re in a bad, almost abusive relationship with themselves, or in this case: with their eating disorder. And they might very well be aware that the only way to get better is to let go and move on. But just like in so many divorce situations or break ups, this is way easier said than done. Because there is heaps of memories and emotions connected to this disorder that make you feel close to it, in a way. Feelings of accomplishment, of ambition, of thrill and yes, sometimes even feelings of happiness. False happiness, of course. But even the illusion of a false sense of joy is something that can be very powerful when you’re already beaten down. 

When you’re in such a dark place and your disorder takes over your life, it takes on almost human-like properties. It’s like a friend or a partner, it’s the only relationship you’re still able to have, the only one you are “true” to because everyone else you care about, you lie to. Anorexia isolates, just like any other mental illness tends to do, and it isolated me too. I tried my best to keep face but truthfully, when I was at my lowest, it felt like my eating disorder had managed to break into places of me that had never seen the light of day before. And it had built itself its own little nest there and gotten so comfortable and settled, that the thought of ever kicking it out, terrified my just as much as the thought of continuing to live with it.

I mentioned before that I sometimes avoid talking about anorexia like a separate entity that has its own mind, just so it doesn’t seem like it’s bigger than me. Clearly, I’m not doing that now. Because if I’m fully honest, to me, it’s kind of both and also neither. One one hand, I can feel it as something that sits at the back of my brain, at the back of my neck, at the back of my every thought. It’s something I can visualize, hear, feel with every move I make. And on the other hand, it’s not an actual person. Because it’s still just me, it’s how I think and do things, it’s an extension of my need for control. I can’t just separate it into its own realm of existence because we both live in my own brain. We share that space and sometimes anorexia and its opinions and leverage are bigger, sometimes they’re smaller – but for over a year now, they have always been there, one way or another.

So, letting go of it, bidding it goodbye and trying to claim back the space my anorexia has been taking up for so long now, is hard. Because it’s like letting go of a part of myself. A part that causes me pain and suffering, yes. But a part of me nevertheless. And anorexia is a very hot-headed tenant, let me tell you that much. It does not like to be evicted, at all. But it’s not about what my disorder wants, it’s about what I want. And what I need. And that is to live a life free of the boundaries of my eating disorder. Even if it means not fully knowing who I am.

In my last therapy session that I went to, I talked about all of this to Kerstin. About feeling nostalgic and catching myself dwelling in memories that others would probably gasp at in shock. Gladly, Kerstin didn’t gasp because, well, she’d be a crap therapist if she did. But she’s a good one, lucky me. Anyway, in that last session I had, I then tried to come to a conclusion to this whole nostalgia thing, that wasn’t as depressing as the notion of it all. And what I came to was this:

I will never be able to undo what I did. What me and my anorexia did and what it made me do will never be un-lived or forgotten. It is and always will be a part of me. So, actually, trying to “get rid” of it and “kicking it out”, is not really the solution here. Sure, I’d love to flick a switch and have it all be gone in a second. But that’s never going to happen.

What I can do, however, is learn how to live with it in a way where those memories still get their proper place – without defining me anymore. And without dictating my every move and day. I’ve compared my eating disorder to a stubborn child a few times, too. One that throws massive tantrums when you tell it “no”. Because that’s what it does, mostly. However, another thing that it has in common with a child, maybe even with the child inside of me, is that it’s so, so scared of being left behind. Of being abandoned and forgotten. In a way, it’s exactly that. My anorexia is pieced together by so many of my insecurities and just like me, it doesn’t want to be abandoned. In fact, it’s so scared of it, that it fights back with teeth and claws and with all its might, to stay safe and comfortable where it is. It throws tantrums and breaks out into screaming fits because it’s terrified that once it goes silent, it will be forgotten.

So, actually, instead of treating it like some sort of external force, like a gnarly stomach ulcer (good one, Isa) or like a parasite, I have actually started to treat it more like a scared kid or a wounded animal. With patience and gentle words. With understanding but also with a certain sternness. Literally like a parent that is trying to calm down their raging child. Reassuring it that I have no intentions of cutting it out or pushing it away, but actually to let it stay under the condition that it remains a quiet and passive part of me. Until eventually, it accepts the silence I ask of it and, indeed, fades into something that doesn’t take up most of my living hours anymore.

Don’t get me wrong, 90% of the time my anorexia and me are still in a silent screaming fight over whether or not I can have a chocolate bar. Theory and practice often lie very, very far apart from each other. But the other 10%, the ones where I actually manage to practice what I preach – those are the ones that, to me, matter the most.

Because those are the ones where I can almost feel me and my eating disorder staring each other down from across the room in silence. The ones where I can tell that both of us are scared. Both of us are hurting. Both of us are smart. Both of us are strong.

But only one of us is right.

[randomoranges]

drag meeting au part 37

let’s shift gears and start wrapping this up with something a little more serious

--

Kate took a deep breath she hoped would help steady her nerves and readied herself for what she had to say. She had spent the better part of the week rehearsing this speech and now, finally, it was time to deliver it.

 “Étienne, there’s something I have to tell you,” She started and didn’t pause, instead going on, “I never meant to lead you on. I never meant for this little venture to go this far. But here we are and I need to tell you that – even though I’ve developed real and true feelings for you and I’ve had a wonderful time with you, I’m not who you think I am.”

 Kate blinked and then groaned, passing a hand over her face.

 This wasn’t working.

 “Get it together, Murphy. Stick to the bloody script and get straight to the point.”

 Kate looked at herself in the mirror and sighed. She’d spent the better part of the last hour going through her little speech. Hell, she had even written it down on flash cards, which she had since discarded, ripped up into tiny pieces and thrown in the air in a fit of desperation.

 No matter how many times she ran through her speech, she somehow or other always managed to make it sound cheap and tacky. That or she beat around the bush too long instead of getting to the point.

 But today was the day. After a hellish start to the month of January between work and then a nasty cold that had left her bedridden for a few days, she was finally going out with Étienne for her birthday, which had passed, but Étienne wanted to highlight the occasion. He had even offered to bring her soup and help nurse her back to good health. Kate had been touched by the offer, but had preferred to keep her beau at bay – lest he get sick as well. (Or find out about her deep dark secret during one of her deliriums.) Either way. She wanted to control this big reveal as best as she could.

 Hence, they would go out, have a nice dinner and somewhere along the way, she would tell him. By the end of the evening it would be done. She wouldn’t let Étienne leave until she told him.

 “One more time, from the top,” She instructed herself as she gazed at her reflection.

 She was going all out tonight. She was treating this as a final performance; a swan song and curtain call and all that. One more big bang before she was taken off stage and boxed away. No more encore for Kate and Étienne. The ballad would end, the final act would conclude.

 She would give Étienne the performance of her life and something to remember her by, for sure.

 She still hoped she would get a standing ovation at the end and not a case of tomatoes to the face.

 Every iteration of her speech sounded cliché and phony to her ears. It seemed there was no sincerity to her words – or too much of it, despite the fact that she was speaking from the heart. She’d tried every approach she could think of, but it seemed nothing felt just right.

 “Maybe it’ll be better when he’s here...” She told herself. She tried on a smile for show, but it felt a little dull around the edges and didn’t quite reach her eyes. If she was to describe herself, she’d say that there was the hint of the end of a beautiful summer day in her hazel gaze. Dark rain clouds looming in closer and bringing in deep gusts of winds that rattled the rose petals off their blooms and such.

 She was about to go through one final rehearsal when her phone buzzed.

 Grateful for the distraction, she reached for it and found a message from Étienne.

 “Leaving now! Can’t wait to see you xxx”

 Despite everything, she couldn’t help but smile. Leave it to her sweet Étienne to brighten up her day and chase the torment from her mind, even if for a moment.

 Étienne had decided to take her out to one of the nicer restaurants of the city for her birthday dinner. However, the only spot available had been later in the evening, so Kate had invited Étienne over to her place to catch up before they headed out. She had deep cleaned her house, had hidden, and put away anything remotely masculine and Edward related and figured that if anything, maybe she could get her whole confession out of the way before dinner.

 Hopefully.

 And Étienne, the darling gentleman that he was, had even offered to drive them to the restaurant, since he’d had to borrow a car for the week for work. Kate had agreed to it and was looking forward to being splurged on for one last time.

 This was her grand finale.

 “Hang on – you live in Outremont? The GPS on my phone says Outremont. Outremont as in the real Outremont? As in fancy as fuck Outremont?”

 She couldn’t help but chuckle to herself. She’d often gotten such a reaction from the people who first came to her house. She’d bought the place about three years ago, deciding that she wanted a real place of her own. A house she could call a home, a place where she could have her friends and family over and where everyone could stay if they wanted to. It was an investment in her happiness, what with the lush trees and ample green space in her backyard.

 “Yes, fancy as fuck Outremont. I hope you don’t mind?”

 She’d once dated a man who’d had an issue with the wealth she had. He’d found it too much since she didn’t necessarily hide it. She’d worked her ass off to be able to be where she was in life and she had no shame or qualms in living comfortably and enjoying the things she did. Apparently, he’d taken offence in the fact that she preferred to buy her groceries from the market, encouraging the local merchants, instead of buying frozen fruit that had been outsourced. Or that she was willing to meticulously search for scrap parts for her vintage motorcycle she was lovingly restoring, instead of just buying last year’s model on special.

 He hadn’t lasted long.

 He’d been a rebound anyways.

 “Not at all! You just keep being a bag full of surprises in all the most wonderful of ways :) <3”

 Kate smiled. This absolute lunatic. Her darling Étienne. He was truly something else.

 “I’ll be there in a bit. See you soon xxx”

 “See you <3”

 Kate took another steadying breath and gave herself a one over. She fixed the high collar of her dress and made sure she looked impeccable. There wasn’t a hair out of place, her makeup was flawless and her accent jewelry pieces married everything about her look together.

 “This is it, old girl,” She murmured to herself, bringing her hand up to touch her reflection delicately, as if wanting to give herself courage, “We’re playing for all or nothing. We can do this.”

 She closed her eyes and tried to ground herself, but she was a jittery mess of nerves. She both couldn’t wait for Étienne to arrive and also dreaded his arrival at the same time. This could very well be the last date they ever went on and the thought of that chagrined her more than anything else at the moment.

--

PREVIOUS: XXXVI CURRENT: XXXVII NEXT: XXXVIII

[catholicdaredevil]

Self Hate - A Tony Stark One Shot

Pairing: Tony Stark x Reader

Words: 1736

Notes: I wrote this for a friend as a self indulgent fic for her when she was going through a lot of issues with seeing her own self worth in terms of the way she feels about her body. While I’ve switched her name out, it does still list physical attributes specific to her including but not limited to scars from when she got her appendix out. So I definitely understand this might be a difficult reader insert given the specificity but I wanted to share it anyways! This has themes that could be upsetting since they deal with body image issues so make sure to take care of yourself even as far as reading this and don’t upset yourself. Remember that you are strong, capable and fucking worth it. I love you all and if you need anything just shoot me a message. I am accepting requests but obviously they aren’t really coming out well so it’s just a waiting game but you’re still welcome to send them in!

You stared intently at your own reflection in the bathroom mirror in your underwear as the list in your head grew- you constantly ran through this list on a daily basis. The list of things about your body you didn’t like, the list of things you’d change given half the chance, the list of things that made you miserable when you thought about them. Unfortunately you were always thinking about them, as your hands ran across your chest down to your stomach. Too much. Over your thighs and hips. Too much. To your ass and back. Too much. Your brain felt foggy with all the pathetic thoughts of how you would never be worthy of anything, any love or affection, let alone happiness. 

“Hey baby I know that look,” arms snaked around your waist and Tony set his head on your shoulder, meeting your gaze in the mirror. He chastised you with his eyes and you sighed loudly, feeling your body relax as the breath left your chest. “That’s your ‘I hate myself’ look.”

Turning to look him in the eyes you scoffed loudly at his bold to-the-point attitude he held, letting your hands meet behind his neck. “Bold of you to talk about having an ‘I hate myself’ look Tony.” 

Tony’s head fell back in laughter, holding you tightly to him, his smile was so bright when he looked back at you. He’d been doing so well lately with everything. It had taken years for him to get where he was, therapy, medicine, breakdowns, progress and relapses were all along his path. He credited his strength and patience to get better entirely on you; on your love and support and he vowed to do the same to help you. He leaned in to kiss you gently, his lips moving to kiss across your cheek and continued as he spun you back to look at yourself, his lips ending right under your ear. 

“Maybe one day I was but now I am a shining beacon of what could be.” It made your head hurt with how hard you rolled your eyes and he chuckled lowly into your ear, his breath tickling and warm. “Y/N, baby, you are my entire world. You are the brightest light in my life, you are drop dead gorgeous and the love of my existence.”

Hot tears built in your eyes and spilled out to run down your face as he spoke, one of his rough calloused thumbs wiping them as they fell. The soft pink of your lips slightly parted you could taste the salt as tears slipped into your mouth. 

“I-‘m okay Tony, it’s-justa bad day. I don’t wanna look at myself anymore today.” Hiccuping out a sob at the sight of his face falling in pain, you felt bad that now that his mental health was in check you began to crumble in your own. 

Sure he never complained but you knew it added stress; stress he didn’t need, stress you didn’t want him to have. Yet he remained relentlessly kind, unwaveringly loving, attentive to every detail he could be. It made you feel sick with guilt, you couldn’t understand how he felt you worth all his time and effort. Him, Tony Stark, playboy, billionaire, philanthropist, doting on just you. You couldn’t see what he saw in you, couldn’t fathom that it was different than what you so often saw in yourself. Too much. 

Tony felt exactly the same but in a completely different way. He couldn’t wrap his head around how you didn’t see what he did, he couldn’t begin to understand what you saw wrong with yourself when you looked in the mirror. Looking at you was one of his greatest joys, not just because you were attractive, no it was so much more. When he looked at you, he saw unadulterated love. Behind the sparkle of your eyes was every time you had said ‘I love you’, was every single moment you held his head in your lap, your fingers carding through his soft chocolate hair and had let him cry, clutching you to him. He couldn’t grasp that you didn’t see the love he had for you, when him seeing yours was the light that brought him out of such darkness. That your legs that you thought were too this or that, were what held you up every day, carried you around, carried you to him. Every part of you that you hated to look at, were the parts that he found running through his mind ever possible hour of the day and night, the parts that he could run his hands over, fingertips softly brushing across the planes of your soft skin. Feeling the ridges of scars, stretch marks, bumps and bruises everything that added up and equaled the one thing he cared about more than anything. You. 

Tony was never a religious man, and within that never understood how they siphoned time into only two categories; before Christ and after. Well, never understood before you came into his life and cleaned out the cobwebs in the darkest parts of his mind to bring light, laughter and love. Now every moment of his life could be described as such that had confused him for so long: before and after. He could remember the day he first met you, heard your laugh fill the room as you walked in with someone who at the time simply looked blurred compared to the ethereal glow that seemed to surround you. Your deep voice like velvet as you spoke, a grin plastered to your face and at that moment while he thought at the time that he didn’t deserve it; he knew he had to have you in his life in any way possible. All of this adding up to him being so utterly in love with you it drove him crazy at times, but he wouldn’t give it up for anything. 

“We can cover every mirror in the world if that makes you feel better baby, but nothing will change the fact that you are the most incredible human being I’ve ever met and that I am wildly in awe of every tiny thing you do. Every breath you take is a miracle, every time our eyes meet I am cured of every dark thought in my mind, when your hand so much as brushes against mine my heart stops just to be restarted by your smile. Y/N I am not a man of words, I’ve always been better with my hands everyone knows this, but you. You make me want to write sonnets and plays about your beauty, about your kindness and generosity, about the way it feels to be so fucking loved for once in my life. For once I can feel loved, I feel your love for me radiating off of you and god damn it if I don’t love you with every atom of my fucking being.” Tony’s eyes locked with yours as you both still faced the mirrored wall of your shared bathroom, his strong hands holding you tight without trapping you. You sobbed silently into your hands, ragged breaths ripping from your chest. Tony pressed soft kisses to your hot cheeks and turned you to look at him once more, in his eyes the tenderness they always held just for you. 

“I love you.” He whispered, his large hands held your cheeks, thumbs like windshield wipers back and forth across your face to wipe tears from their path. 

“I’m so sorry- I love you so much,” The words barely audible but enough to pull a smile out of Tony. His hands drifted from holding your face to down your shoulders, fingertips running down your sides to grip onto your hips with such fervor it made you shiver. 

“You have nothing to apologize for, you’re my girl, I’ll always be here.” His lips pressed against yours and the love that poured out of them was overwhelming. You felt maybe an ounce of the love he had for it and it was more than you had ever thought was possible to be loved yet here he was. Defying all of your negative thoughts and expectations; loving you with every piece of him and making sure you knew it everyday of your life.

“Do you really mean all that?”

“Yes of course. Can I show you something?” Your head lifted to look at his face before nodding and he slowly spun you around one final time to face your reflection. “Every piece of you, is you. Your hair, always smells like coconut and mango and I could recognize you anywhere with my eyes closed and hands behind by back just by the smell of your shampoo I swear it’s so ingrained in my brain.

Your eyes that hold all of that love you keep just for me, are so sharp and I can hear you chastise me when I get out of hand with one single glance. Down to your cute little nose, that always does- well that,” he poked your nose all scrunched up before continuing, “Every time I compliment you. Like it’s a bad smell or something. Your mouth, god your mouth Y/N. Fuck it kills me, you literally unravel me with nothing but your mouth at times and I don’t just mean when you’re sucking my dick. The way it quirks up just slightly when I make a shitty joke, like you don’t want to encourage me but still think it’s funny. Or when you’re talking about something you’re passionate about and every single word is laced with a smile so wide I feel like I could get lost in it. All the way down past your cute little scar from when you got your appendix out to your fucking toes, there’s not a single part of you I would change.”

You took in a shaky breath to try and stabilize the way your heart was pounding as he pressed gentle kisses behind your ear. 

“I love you, more than you'll ever know, really. Now, do you wanna go lay in bed and watch Game of Thrones and order pizza?” His breath tickled against your skin and you nodded. Tony picked you up bridal style and carted you off to bed, where he spent the next three hours continuing to shower you in love because well, he loved you.

Tags: @hootyhoobuckaroo​ @tokoyamisstuff​ @5aftermidnight​ @vinyloider​ @tropicalcap​ @spiider--boy​

[pcygoldenchild]

Mr. and Mrs. Park

✨summary: You and your husband were both agents. Madly in love with each other and your jobs. But what would happen if you needed to face each other?

✨warnings: NSFW, violence, sexual intercourse, dirty talk (Nsfw in part two)

✨A/N: I’ve worked on this for sooo long. I restarted maybe 10 times because I just really wasn’t going my favorite movie justice. Based off of ‘Mr. and Mrs. Smith’. ( Anon: chanyeol spy au? like him and reader are like mr and mrs. smith????) *not my gif*

You walked into the building. Your heels clicked on the marble floor as you walked through the lobby. It was half past 11pm and most the security and staff were just waiting to switch shifts. No one was really paying attention to the woman entering the elevator. You went up to the penthouse floor and entered. This building was Matt’s office. This penthouse was reserved for when he stayed here instead of going home to his annoying ass wife and kids. He hated his family; even went as far as to hire Chanyeol to kill them. He’s an evil little man.

“Are you in?” you jump as you hear Chanyeol’s voice through your earpiece.

“God, Yeol a warning next time.” you whisper back. You were entering the passcode to the main entrance making sure to stay quiet.

“Next time I’ll knock. Now, are you in?” he replied snarkly. You rolled your eyes and let out a deep breath.

“I’m entering now. Are you ready?” you said. Your hand pushed the door open a bit to look in before you entered. You just had to wait on his confirmation.

“Ready when you are.” he confirmed. And with that you walked in. You made sure not to slam the door or make too much noise. You knew he was up in his study but still wanted as much of an element of surprise as possible. Your heels were loud but you learned to walk on the base of your feet to avoid making so much noise. You walked directly to his study; you knew where it was since you’ve been here plenty of times.

“He’s talking to someone.” Chanyeol said in your earpiece. You could hear voices of another man with a much deeper tone than Matt’s high pitch.

“Any idea who it is?” you whispered.

“I have just as much of an idea as you. I’d say a body guard. There is no way the security let you just walk in there and not alert him. You are banned goods sweetheart.” he replied back. You rolled your eyes again and straightened up.

“Thanks for nothing Chanyeol.” you say before silently walking into the office. There was a sort of short hallway made by a bookshelf before it entered the main office. You stood there for a minute to try to see who Matt was talking to and what about. But all you could tell was that he was twice his size and not listening to a single thing Matt was saying. You took this time to step out into the main office.

“Matthew Barnes.” you said. He smiled without looking at you and shoo’d his hand at the man you are now sure is a guard. He turned to you and looked you up and down. You did the same to him and cocked and eyebrow at him.

“How should we do this young lady.” he said. You squinted your eyes at him as he stood up cracking his knuckles. He was the least intimidating person you’d ever seen and Matt was someone you knew. That said a lot.

“I don’t care. I’m not here for you.” you replied. You walked over to the side a bit giving him a chance to just leave before he did anything stupid. But the big tough guy just had to mock you.

“I know you think you’re a big shot, but you’re really nothing without your husband.” he laughed walking towards you. Asshole.

“You hear that? To think people don’t know I’m the one who made you as intolerable as you are. Marriage changes people. I get no credit.” you said to Chanyeol who was listening in the earpiece. You heard his sigh and the guard looked confused. But he didn’t have enough time to think on who you were talking to or what you were saying before you jabbed him in the throat directly on his adam’s apple. His loss of focus due to the sharp pain rendered him defenseless. He bent over and you kneed him in the head knocking him out rather easily.

“My husband taught me that move.” you smirked dusting your hands of the metaphorical dust he was. You were brought back to the matter of Matt when you were startled by his clapping.

“You two are the perfect pair. Ideally, I have not done you two justice. You two deserve to be much higher somewhere on an Island in Havana or something.” he laughed.

“I completely agree. But instead you want one of us dead. Seems odd, but then again you are one strange man.” you said walking past the unconscious guard. You noticed Matt move back a bit to beside the front of his desk.

“He’s armed. A pistol under his first draw in his desk. Cliche.” Chanyeol said in your ear. You looked at Matt’s hand reach for the edge of the desk then back up at him as he smiled at you.

“Hello Chanyeol. Nice to know you are still informed on all my hiding spots.” Matt said taking his hand away and folding his arms. He was caught but there was no way he was giving up that easy.

“You know, I know his hiding spots too. He was never very good at hiding to be honest. And I’m surprised he didn’t know of the alarm for intruders under my desk. Ask him now if he knows.” Matt said and right after you heard a lot of commotion on the other end. Static and groans came through as you waited for Chanyeol.

“Smart move Matt. Really suits you.” Chanyeol said before a loud groan came through. He was captured? Of all his years, that’s a first.

“What they do with him is up to you Mrs. Park. And you should think fast, time is of the essence.” Matt said sitting on his desk.

“What are my options?” you asked walking to the side to be a couple feet away but directly in front of him.

“Well, you could put a bullet through your pretty head. But they’d kill him anyway. Or you could let him get a very painfully slow death but I’d kill you here. Or you could try to kill me and give me a good exercise but we both know how that will end. Even if you do kill me, Mr. Park is as good as dead.” he smirked. But he was highly underestimating you and your husband.

You walked closer to him slowly, placing your hands in your pockets. You stood in front of him and leaned forward so your face was right in front of his.

“I never thought someone who worked so close to us would underestimate the most powerful people he knows.” you whispered. He didn’t look scared but you knew your words struck fear in his heart, because you were right.

“The most power resides in me, Mrs. Park.” he said before kicking your leg making you stumble. He took that distraction to pull you into a headlock ripping your earpiece out. Your struggle was mostly for show. Sure he could strangle you to death but if you were being honest, you’ve been prepared for it. Late nights with an angry Chanyeol meant frustration sex. Choking wasn’t something you were new to and you’ve had plenty of practice.

“You know, if I were a lucky guy and got to you first, I’d be a much better husband. I mean he sent you in here all alone to take me on. You may be a killer, but you’re weak. You did all this for what? Love? Well you two will die as star crossed lovers.” he said tightening his arm around your neck.

“Over my dead body or yours?” Chanyeol said as he stood in the doorway. Catching you both by surprise but mostly Matt. Because instead of ducking from the gun aimed at him or using you as a sheild he stood there and took a bullet to the arm. He fell after screaming out in pain letting you go. You stood up straight and brushed yourself off. You looked up and saw Chanyeol smirking at you.

“I think I go too easy on you. Although you’ve always been one to take a good choking.” he said coming up to you and rather aggressively kissing you. You grabbed his arms and felt the warmth of his blood stained shirt seep into your hands.

“I always say harder, but you get too scared you’ll hurt your little angel.” you smirk wiping your hands off on the front of his shirt. It wasn’t his blood, he was perfectly fine as expected. There wasn’t much he couldn’t escape from.

“What the fuck.” Matt groans out on the floor. He’s been scooting away towards the back door of his office.

“You’re not shot in the legs Matt. Quit being dramatic and get up.” you said taking the gun from Chanyeol and walking over to a crawling Matt. He heard the gun cock and stilled before turning around to face you.

“You’d kill me while I’m down? That’s very shallow.” he said. Shallow.

“I don’t recall caring.” you said as you shot him in the leg. He let out such a sad shriek. It made you feel a little bad but that lasted only a second before another shot went through his chest. Not from you.

“He was talking way too much.” Chanyeol said before he pulled you back into him ripping your shirt off your body. You did the same to him as you two attacked each other’s lips. Next to go were the pants as you two walked back to the couch against the window. By the time you reached the couch, you two were naked and nearly at each other’s skin.

“Near death and all I could think about was fucking you again.” Chanyeol said pulling your legs to straddle him. You hovered over his hard cock as his fingers went to your core. He rubbed up and down your folds and massaged your clit vigorously.

“If I can’t have this pussy, no one can.” he said as you shook over him and his fingers. You yanked his hand away. He was making you get too close to cumming and you needed more than his fingers.

“So territorial for someone who almost just died.” you groaned out as you lined him up to your hole. Your breath hitches when his hands went to your hips and smacked your ass.

“What’s mine is mine no matter where I am. In sickness and in health. Till death do us part.” he said before thrusting up into you. He literally fucked you off balance and made you lean to the side pushing the lamp off the side table and crashing on to the floor. His thrust were fast and needy. You were grabbing everywhere to try and balance yourself so you could gain control but he wasn’t letting up.

“Fuck Chanyeol!” you screamed out as he once again slapped your ass as his cock hit the deepest pit inside you.

“You’re so fucking perfect.” he said grabbing your hips tighter. You started to ride him more once the feeling made you chase your own high. His mouth found place along your stomach and chest as you bounced up and down.

“What would you do without me Mr. Park?” you breathed out. Your hands grabbed his hair and made him look up at you. He smirked and brought one hand to rub your clit fast and hard. His breathing was matched with yours. Your grips on each other enough to puncture your skin. You were both cumming. You shook on top of him as he slowed his thrusts down but not his fingers. You screamed out leaning back as your visions started to black. Then it stopped.

He pulled you flush against his chest as he was still inside you.

“I wouldn’t have anyone to fuck in front of two dead people Mrs. Park.” he whispered. You laughed breathlessly.

“He’s not dead Mr. Park. So I suggest we get going before he comes to his senses and see his dead boss and us fucking.” you said sitting up. He smiled and looked over at the guard.

“That’s sounds like fun.” he said.

[temporaryistemporary]

Invincible

@sugarglider9603 @ask-spiderverse-virgil

Warning: cursing, throwing up, blood and injury mention

Virgil always has a knack for fleeing the scene before Thomas could see if the kid was okay. Well not today. He needed to make sure Virgil was safe, if only for his own sanity.

————————————

It had been a rough fight. One of the major villains in the city decided the best time to cause major havoc was a week before semester finals when four out of the five spider themed heroes would be so tired out from studying that they could barely tell their right from their left half the time. But did the villains care? Fuck no.

So here Virgil was, sitting on the roof of the nearest building, body swaying in the wind as he watched Thom- Rainbow Weaver help the cops put the villain in one of their vans. Logan was sitting next to him with his legs dangling over the side of the building, head falling every so often before jerking up again, while Patton and Roman sat toward the middle of the roof, talking about who knows what. Their voices sounded muffled to Virgil, like they were speaking underwater. And maybe that should concern him, but Virgil hadn’t really slept more that maybe five hours in the past week so maybe it was his body telling him to kindly go to bed. Or maybe it was a concussion from when the big baddy had thrown Virgil into a brick wall? Eh, whatever. He could worry about that later. Preferably when he was back in bed. Not quite sleeping but definitely not fully aware of the outside world and the upcoming finals that we’re going to kick his ass.

Now that he was thinking about it, he should probably go now. Before Thomas corralled them all into his apartment for their after fight check up. And yeah, ok, maybe Virgil had more than just a possible concussion and he probably should get some medical attention, but he could do that himself. Thomas and the others didn’t need to worry about it, didn’t need to worry about him. He was fine. Maybe. Good enough to get home anyway.

Virgil shakily pushes himself to his feet, swaying even more and ignoring what may have been Logan saying something. He couldn’t really tell between Logan’s tired slurred speech and Virgil’s own spinning head. Stumbling his way to the south edge of the building, Virgil got ready to start making his way back home but was interrupted by Thomas, who had apparently finished helping the cops and had made his way up the tall building in the time it had taken for Virgil to walk to the other side of the roof. Perhaps Virgil was more out of it than he had originally thought.

“Virgil, where are you headed buddy?” Thomas called out, startling the other three. Ok good, Virgil wasn’t the only one who hadn’t noticed him. That had to count for something. Right? “Virgil?”

Oh, right. Thomas has asked him something.

“Just going home,” Virgil mumbled. Or did he? Had he spoken aloud? He couldn’t tell. His head was pounding now and he could barely hear himself think. “I’ve gotta get back to studying for finals.”

That was a good excuse. At least Virgil thought is was. Logan would believe it, if he wasn’t currently nodding off. Patton’s voice floated through the fog that clouded his thoughts, still barely heard over the drum like beat in his ears.

“Now kiddo, you know we always go to Thomas’ apartment after fights like this. I know finals are coming up but your health is more important. Studying can wait.”

Thomas spoke again. “Pat is right, Virge. Let me look you over and then you can go home, ok? I just want to make sure you didn’t get seriously hurt.”

But Virgil was already shaking his head, which wow ok, that was a bad idea. His vision was swimming now, Thomas becoming nothing but a blurry rainbow in Virgil’s line of sight. He pushed down the urge to vomit.

“I’m fine.” He croaked.

“C’mon now, sunshine.” Roman’s voice this time. “It’ll only take a moment.”

Talking, apparently, was getting Virgil nowhere fast. So he decided to do the next best thing. He pointed his hand directly behind him and shot a web at a larger building, waiting for it to connect, before throwing himself off the roof.

Or rather, he would have. Had Thomas not rushed forward and grabbed Virgil’s arm.

“Thomas!” Virgil yelped. “Let go!”

“Not until you agree to come with us.”

“Why? I’m fine!” Or he would be if Thomas would just fuck off. He was fine. He didn’t need help. All Virgil needed was to get home so he could get rid of this nauseating feeling and go to sleep. Why wouldn’t Thomas just let him go home? And why was he still fucking talking?

“Clearly, you’re not fine. This would be a lot easier for the both of us if you would just let me check you over. I just want to hel-“

And maybe it was a testament to how done Virgil was right now, because he would never have done this under normal circumstances. But right here, right now, running on insufficient sleep, his head pounding, his ears ringing, and the now distant burning on his right side, Virgil thought screw this and started yelling.

“I’m fine, Thomas! I’d be even better if you would just let go of me! I can take care of myself, I don’t need y-“ Virgil stopped, choked, and slapped a hand over his mask, right over where his mouth was. Bad idea. Bad, bad idea.

“Virge?” Patton.

He couldn’t answer. He’s not sure what he would have said anyway. Instead, he turned, ripped his mask off and fell to his knees. Logan was now coherent enough to follow what was happening and opened his mouth to say something but stopped when Virgil started retching into the empty alleyway below. Raising his voice like that had been a mistake. It had only served to further upset Virgil’s stomach and head, and he was really regretting it.

A warm hand brushed against Virgil’s neck and he jerked for a moment but relaxed when it began moving in soothing circles on his back. He threw up three more times before his body decided that was enough and let him stop. Virgil didn’t resist when the hand that was resting on his back moved to brace around his shoulders and another arm found its way under the bend of his knees. He was lifted effortlessly into the air, his head resting on Thomas’ chest.

Voices drifted in and out of focus but Virgil couldn’t quite grasp what they were saying. It didn’t matter though because even if he could, Virgil couldn’t stay awake long enough to really listen. His eyes fluttered closed as he unconsciously turned his head to press more into Thomas’s chest, the mans heart beating loudly in his ears and drowning out any other noise.

When Virgil next opened his eyes, he was laying on an old couch in a apartment that definitely wasn’t his, but thankfully one that he could still recognize. His head lay in someone’s lap and there was a hand gently running through his messy hair. From what Virgil could see through the window across from him, it was late. How late, Virgil wasn’t really sure. Late enough for most everyone to be asleep evidently. He could spot Patton curled up in an arm chair across the room, now in civilian clothes, head pillowed in his arms and looking like he fell asleep while eating what was probably a chocolate chip cookie. Roman was leaning up against the couch by Virgil’s feet, also in civilian clothes, having fallen asleep with his head tossed back onto the couch cushion. He couldn’t see Logan but from the faint snores he could hear down the hall, he was pretty sure he knew where he was. So that just left Thomas.

The hand in his hair stopped as whoever was petting him seemed to notice he had woken up. Damn, he was hoping to avoid this conversation for as long as possible.

“Virge?” So it was Thomas. Double damn.

Well, might as well get this over with.

“Yeah?” Wow, he sounded awful. It was like his voice went through a wood chipper.

The hand in his hair moved down to his shoulder, pulling Virgil so instead of laying on his side, he was now laying on his back and looking up at Thomas. And geez, if Virgil sounded bad, Thomas looked even worse.

“Are you okay?” Virgil’s not really sure what possessed him to ask that but he did it anyway. He was expecting an actual answer, or maybe even a scolding, but he was not prepared for Thomas to start laughing. Had he finally lost his mind? “Uh...Thomas?”

Thomas put his face in his hands, still laughing loudly.

“Am I...” He snorted. “Am I okay?”

Thomas uncovered his face, eyes meeting Virgil’s, and Virgil’s heart stopped. The smile had disappeared and there were tears gathering in Thomas’ eyes, the most heartbroken look Virgil had ever seen showing on his face.

“Am I okay?” Thomas repeated, voice more desperate and hysterical. “Virgil, I should be asking you that!”

Virgil sat up now, situating himself so he was kneeling on the couch and facing Thomas completely. He didn’t speak though, waiting for the older man to continue.

“I got to the roof to see you dead on your feet and about to swing your way across town.” Virgil winced. “You wouldn’t listen to me and let me help you! And then-“ Thomas voice cracked, his tears finally escaping, “then you got so sick and you passed out, Virgil. You passed out in my arms and you wouldn’t wake up. Roman was hysterical. Patton started crying and Logan was panicking.” Fuck. “And we brought you back here and what do we find out? Your head was bleeding, you probably have a concussion from whatever hit caused that, and the skin on your side was fucking peeled off. Like you went through a cheese grater or something.” Was that why it was burning earlier? “It was bad, kid, like really bad. There was so much blood, we thought we were going to have to take you to the hospital. We fixed you up though, got your side and head bandaged. We helped you because that’s what family does, Virge. You just need to let us.”

Thomas was crying even harder now and, if he was being honest, Virgil was about to cry too. He had upset them. Made Patton cry. Made Thomas cry. Thomas never cried.

Crap, now Virgil actually was crying. He ducked his head to avoid looking at Thomas as tears ran down his cheeks. A sigh came from above him and for a second Virgil thought Thomas was mad again. He hated Virgil, he had too, Virgil was awful. He jumped when he was pulled into a tight embrace, his head once again resting against Thomas’s chest, and then relaxed. Thomas wouldn’t try to comfort Virgil if he hated him.

Virgil buries his face into Thomas’ chest again and sobbed.

“I-“ He hiccuped. “I’m-I’m sorry.”

Another sigh, and a hand found its way back to Virgil’s hair.

“It’s okay, Virge. Breathe.” Thomas coaxed Virgil through some breathing excersises, helping them both to calm down enough to speak, though Virgil refused to move his away from his hiding spot in Thomas’s chest. Thomas didn’t seem to mind though, his hand continued to run through Virgil’s tangled hair, smoothing out the knots and making Virgil relax against him even more.

“Virgil?” Thomas whispered.

“Hm.”

“Promise me something?” Arms squeezes around him even tighter.

“What?” Virgil asked, chest tightening. Promises never meant anything good as far as Virgil was concerned.

“Promise me you’ll tell us next time you’re injured.” It wasn’t a question this time. “Please. You really scared us when you passed out like that, kid.”

Virgil let out a shakey breath.

“Why?”

Thomas leaned back to look Virgil in the eyes. “Because we care about you. We don’t like to see you hurt, especially like that.” Thomas hugged him close again.

They were quiet for a moment, and then Thomas let out a huff of air that resembled a laugh.

“You know, kid, you’re kind of the reason we do the whole post fight check up.”

Virgil jerked back from the hug and stared wide eyed at Thomas.

“Excuse me?” He would have yelled if the others weren’t sleeping.

“Yeah,” Thomas chuckled, “You kept sneaking off after battles and I was worried you were hiding your injuries from us, so I started the check up thing to make sure all of you were okay.”

Virgil was still staring at him, and Thomas was afraid he had angered the kid somehow, but that was proven wrong when Virgil snorted and dissolved into giggles.

“You’re ridiculous, old man.”

“Hey!”

Virgil just continued to laugh as he leaned more into Thomas, who pouted. Finally, after about ten minutes, Virgil quieted. Thomas looked down at him, about to say something but stopped when he realized Virgil had fallen back asleep.

Thomas gazed down fondly at the kid. He leaned back to rest long ways across the couch, Virgil laying across his chest, and closed his eyes, finally drifting off to sleep.