#headcanon not fact

[quillandsaber]

Let's Talk About the Barn Scene - Again!

Offering an alternative interpretation that may hit the right spot for some of y'all.

In most real cultures - both historic and today - people really don't care about boys and girls spending time together until they're at an age to "get into trouble", at which point parents start to get concerned. In historic cultures (and some cultures today), this is the age when a wall has to go up between girls and boys. At the time of Phoenix Gate, Clive was certainly past that threshold, and Jill was approaching it quickly. It's fairly safe to assume that some combination of Elwin, Rodney, and whatever other instructors Clive had in his life would have taught him that he needed to treat Jill "like a lady", keeping his hands to himself, no funny business. Clive, being the boy scout that he is, would have adhered to the rule like his life depended on it, and would have probably expected to adhere to that rule until/unless they became formally betrothed and married. Based on how Jill treats Joshua and Clive, she probably did not have those talks (though based on her physical maturity level, she would probably have gotten similar talks in a year or so).

When we get to The Barn Scene, it's been thirteen years, but Clive has probably never reconsidered the rules he was given because they've been completely irrelevant for the vast majority of said thirteen years, and during the few days that Jill has been back in his life and conscious, he's had a lot of other things to think about. So when Jill nudges his personal space - something she was never specifically instructed to not do - he defaults back to the rules he had been taught as a teenager: keep your distance, hands to yourself, don't do anything you wouldn't do in front of your parents, etc.

We can tell at the end of the second timeskip that he has realized that these rules don't apply any more, and he's much more tactile with her.

[turtleblogatlast]

Leo learns something about himself 🏳️‍⚧️

Based roughly on this old post.

Bonus:

[Leo is taking the fact that he was born biologically female simultaneously very well and also not so well but overall he’s mostly coping with the fact that it was Draxum that just essentially gave him the turtle equivalent of ‘The Talk’.]

[samstree]

R2-D2's favoritism towards Anakin is so funny like, he's canonically the most foul-mouthed, ill-tempered, grump old cat-coded droid. The cute appearance is only an illusion to lure you in just so he can tase you, and maybe also kick you from behind just because he wants to. Even the disney princess Obi-Wan loved by all animals on first sight doesn't get along with R2. But he just. likes. Anakin. He's the wingman, he's emotional support, he's a good helper in battle. He carries snacks and checks if Anakin is hungry. He looks at this also ill-tempered angsty goth kid and said, yep that's my bff. Meanwhile Anakin goes around saying things like R2 is such a sweetheart 😌he's a little angel he's literally the best buddy anyone could ask for and I will risk my life to save him. Everyone else just looks like the demon droid and be like what the fuck are you talking about.

[zivazivc]

I feel like I have some of the most random headcanons. but I am lowkey obsessed with the fact that John Dory is so much older than Branch that he potentially could have dated their friends'/peers' parents, and/or anything else funny and possibly entertaining that the large age difference entails lmaokskssbcdsbcjdh

edit: part two

[s-aint-elmo]

part 2 of my pining falin agenda aka I STAND WITH MARCILLE THAT DRESS WAS CUNT

part 1

(ID in alt text)

[bunnieswithknives]

As much as I love angst I think it would be funny if he just didnt give af

[fckbatmanhiskidsareminenow]

tim and damian alone in the manor one day when tim is feeling ungrounded and needs to sleep.

“damian i need you to lay on me”

“what?!”

“i’m feeling so out of my body right now i just need pressure”

damian watches at tim barely manages to put a sentence together and feels a little scared (scared is not the word i’m looking for it’s probably mild concern.) so he listens and kinda just flops his body down onto tim’s.

(they both end up asleep and dick still has the photographic evidence)

[mist-the-wannabe-linguist]

Most Antivan Crows do not live long enough to experience a midlife crisis

The Crows supply their ranks generally from orphans, illegitimate or abandoned children, children purchased from slavery, whore houses and other similar sources. Some are born into the Crows already, but those would be a very small minority, for reasons explained below.

Lucanis mentions that Crow training involves a lot of acrobacy. After a brief search, sports with similar physical requirements such as gymnastics, ballet and martial arts have the ideal starting age in the range of 4-10 years, 15 at the latest, when the children's joints are still flexible (and their minds can be easily manipulated). Zevran is canonically stated to have been taken at the age of 7.

Crow training is intense and brutal, involving straight up torture as tests of pain tolerance. From the 18 fledglings of House Arainai taken in the same year as Zevran, only two survived to the end of their training (World of Thedas Vol. 2). Training with real weapons, harsh punishment, possibly the Spartan custom of underfeeding the children and driving them to stealing food for themselves to encourage learning stealth and resourcefulness, and very likely killing any who try to run away, all these are very likely factors for the high death rate among fledglings.

If the average age of newest Crow fledglings is 6, they might be ready for promotion to the rank of Assassin very well as early as the age of 14-15. This is where the second meat grinder starts, these new Crows will already have plenty experience, but the first solo contracts will still likely take many of them, either killed by their targets, by their Masters for failing the contract, or by themselves to avoid the pain and humiliation of returning to their Masters unsuccessful. This period might likely have the highest suicide rates in general, as the new Crows are still relatively emotionaly vulnerable but old enough to comprehend their position in the world and the weight of their actions.

Promotion to the rank of Assassin also certainly brings great benefits that only increase as the Crow's career progresses and their contracts bring them more coin. The comforts and opulence of Antiva are for them to take, and someone who has grown up only knowing hunger and pain will certainly not hold back. Alcohol, drugs, sex, all the addictions and diseases will surely take the lives of many Crows.

An Assassin's career begins early and ends early. To use sports and dance once again, most porfessional gymnasts and ballet dancers retire between the ages of 25 and 35 as their physical capabilities decline. Those who have survived this long will be granted the rank of Master and oversee the distribution of contracts and the training of fledglings, and will participate in actual assassinations much less. This is also where one might strive to become a Grandmaster or even a Talon. At this point, a Crow will have enough prominence within the organization that they might become a target themselves. Only the most skilled, well-connected and ruthless Crows will continue to rise and, most importantly, continue to live.

If a presumed average number of fledglings per House is around 20, 2-3 will make it to Assassin. In one Assassin's 20 years long career, that would make only about 50 new Assassins out of 400 fledglings. Probably only about a half of those will make it to 35. Even fewer will make it to 50. Out of 400 children bought or stolen from the streets.

Caterina Dellamorte is over 70 years old.

[zeropro]

Yellow boys!

[bamsara]

Hello :P tiny reminder that my Lamb and Joon (my yellow cat) both use They/Them pronouns :P

[plethorawrites]

(Guys, there's too much Jason consuming my thoughts 😭 I can't write anything else. Someone make me stop. I need to fixate on Dick or Bruce for a bit, please!)

Imagining Jason Todd, whose happy place is his partner and who protected his peace so well his family doesn't even know you exist. It wasn't that he tried to hide it, he just wasn't sure at first if a few dates with you would lead to anything serious. Then, suddenly he was leaving patrol early to come home to your shared apartment because you had a headache and wanted him to hold you. Well, telling them that would simply lead to too many questions of who you were and how your relationship started, so he simply makes up an excuse about forgetting a promise he made to Roy. It wasn't that he didn't think his family wouldn't approve, he knew they would adore you. He just liked how separate it was. How you weren't a part of chaos and the darkness they were. You were his safe place, outside of all the madness that his family caused and he rather liked how calm it was to love you without the pressure of his family and their opinions. He'd tell them when the time was right, he always told himself. He just wasn't sure when that would be.

[quillandsaber]

FF16 Theory Time

I think that Cid suspected that Clive = Ifrit even before they first met.

I stumbled on this theory thinking about the fact that Cid was able to recognize Clive...from a thirteen-year-old description of Clive's impressive skills as a teenager. They'd never met before; Cid had never seen the Blessing of the Phoenix before. Cid also mentioned having heard rumors of Clive having survived the massacre that killed almost everyone else and there being a second Dominant of fire who caused a lot of the destruction during that massacre.

While I think it's unreasonable to assume that Cid knew, Clive being that second Dominant of fire (because it's a lot easier to survive a massacre caused by an invading army and a giant fire kaiju if you become said fire kaiju) is a plausible enough theory with the information Cid had to hand that he would likely consider it worth his time to investigate. I'd even go so far as to theorize that finding Clive was already on Cid's to-do list. That's why Cid was able to recognize Clive immediately from the Blessing of the Phoenix: Cid had done some research on it and had been thinking about it recently enough to be able to distinguish it from any other fire-attuned Bearer magic.

[shouyuus]

adding onto the vi sleeps shirtless req only now it's college roommatevi! who wakes up to you pounding at her door at fuck-crack of dawn (or midday, if she went out the night before) and who stumbles out of bed, still mostly asleep and wearing only a ratty pair of boxers, to shutyouup answer

(you weren't made for blood pressures this high, and it's only like 8 AM)

xx vi sleeps shirtless truther

18+, no sex, just a nip-mention

JUST. college roommate!vi answering the door, squinty-eyed, her hair an absolute menace, sticking up in every direction, you standing there, wanting to be pissed at her bc its like... the 5th time she's used your stainless steel pot without cleaning it correctly and just leaving it in the sink but -- holy shit -- she's in a pair of old, bright red, calvin klein boxer briefs and nothing else, grumbling at you, the sunrise peaking over her shoulder, casting her in this golden, ethereal glow like --

"what, cupcake?" and her voice is gravely with sleep but you really can't focus on anything else bc... did you even know her nipples were pieced? you might've had an inkling bc she has some strange aversion to ever wearing proper bras so you've kinda maybe noticed the shape of them through all her tanktops and band tee's but -- now they're just right there --

"uh -- uhm --" you stutter, your brain short-circuiting way harder than you'd imagined, the dirty pot still in your hand, though it's held slack at your side bc really -- what the fuck are you supposed to say to this?

vi quirks an eyebrow, clearly confused and more than a little annoyed. she glances down at her chest, rolling her eyes. on any other day, she might've teased you, but she'd had a really late night last night and its one of the few days she doesn't have morning practice so she really doesn't appreciate you cutting into her sleep.

"c'mon princess, it's not like you haven't got a pair yourself," she says, shifting her weight from one leg to another, making her tits bounce slightly. you jerk your eyes away, cheeks going so hot you think you might get 3rd degree burns.

"just --" you cast your eyes up towards... anywhere but vi's tits, "the -- do you --" you sputter, grasping for a coherent sentence. but for some stupid reason, the only thing you can come up with is "i was... gonna make breakfast. d-did you want anything?"

vi stares, half-incredulous, half-confused.

"breakfast?" she glances at the large alarm clock sitting atop her half-opened drawers. it blinks a steady 7:48AM at her in dull red LED lights.

"nevermind -- i -- it was stupid. sorry for waking you --" you turn on your heels, feeling the room closing in around you, your fingers shaking around the pot handle.

"jesus, princess -- unless you're offering up yourself on a silver platter, don't ever wake me up at 7am again for fuckin' breakfast --"

vi's door clicks closed but you're left peering over your shoulder, eyes wide as dinner plates. because did she say what you think she did?

after a few solid seconds on blinking at her closed door, you scurry away to the kitchen to soak the stainless steel with bar keeper's friend, frowning down at the foamy mess in the kitchen sink, doing everything you can not to think about what it might look like if you did offer yourself to vi for breakfast.

you sigh, blowing a strand of hair from your face, frowning down at the stainless steel pot.

maybe next time.

[idkaguyorsomething]

“apollo wrote the hamilton musical in pjo” “hermes wrote the hamilton musical in pjo” you fools. ¿have you forgotten who the greek god of theatre is?

[plutonicbees]

imagine ur tim drake, it's the anniversary of ur mother's funeral, christmas eve, and you're absolutely shitting ur pants bc you let your teammate feed you the crabcakes they made

you're absolutely going through it, and then u find out that doomsday (not the villain) is coming in the form of a meteor. u try to call batman and he's off planet. u call up nightwing's team and they're dealing with their own battle. there's nobody to help so you and your team go to fuckin,, fight an evil meteor. one of your friends is writing a will. you're all ready to die (you're ready to reunite with your mother).

and then fucking santa comes and waves hi and your team tries to tell him to watch out and then the evil meteor crashes into his sleigh and fucking explodes him and the reindeers in a glorious gory death

man. what are you doing next christmas eve.

[cobaltfluff]

competitive aquarium date

bonus: the night before