#head in hands what a beautiful song also it makes me so so sad

[theghostofwilburtheworm]

sua sweet dream save me. sua sweet dream... save me sua sweet dream

[retroaria]

Domestic Life w/ Osamu Dazai ⁺˚⋆｡°✩₊ ⁺˚⋆｡°✩₊

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summary: life with agency!dazai, days off, date nights, the whole shabang!

warnings: slightly suggestive at some points (not sure if MDNI is necessary but keep it in mind) NOT SAD AND MISERABLE CANON DAZAI!!! Pretend he is happy and joyous for this, why would he want to die when he has you? Not proofread!!

BSD M.LIST | enjoy 🐈 - aria

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The days where Dazai can fully devote himself to you are unfortunately far and few. On top of that, he’s a rather forgetful man. He saves all his reports for the last minute, needing to finish them up while everyone else is already gone (or spend just as much time begging Atsushi to do them for him). He makes plans, promises, deals, all of which take up his time aside from the usual agency agenda.

You know that Dazai loves what he does, so you put up with it. At the very least he still comes home almost every night, flops himself down on the bed and wraps his arms tight around you. And he’ll still be there in the morning. flashing you a warm smile as you wake up to see him adjusting the collar of his suit, throwing his jacket over his shoulder before planting a soft kiss to your lips and heading out the door. The purely intimate moments you get to experience together always happen in the dead of night or at the crack of dawn.

Aside from that, as well as all the work related events Dazai brings you to, his days off don’t come often. Whenever the stars align and those days do happen to fall upon you, you know immediately as you wake up in the morning. He’s still wrapped around you, arms and legs, almost in a death grip. He would’ve left for work by now if he had too, not that he hasn’t slept in late before, but his suit is still sprawled on the floor of your room. He hadn’t taken the time to wash it or hang it back up because he wouldn’t be needing it the next day.

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These days begin with an absolute power struggle in the bedroom (not the fun kind). This man will not wake up and will not let you out of bed. He will whine and groan and sometimes even shed tears at the fact that you would ever want to leave him when he finally can spend a morning with you. “Dazai we still have stuff to do today, you can just hold me captive.”

“Do you hate me Bella, is that it? Has our love truly dwindled? I finally have the chance to engulf you in my affection and you want no part of it.” He’ll give you a full Shakespearean style monologue about how cruel it is that you would deny his neediness.

“Oh my god Osamu, you are so dramatic”

Eventually you do escape his grasp and leave the bedroom to start the day, to which he must follow suit. These days are spent with Dazai following you around like a lost puppy.

He follows you to the bathroom, you guys get ready together, he sits on the toilet while you shower, talking to you through the curtain about all the recent agency drama, casually mentioning all the times he’s almost died in the last week alone. (He’s also sneaking peaks of you, slyly pulling the curtain back when you won’t notice)

On days where the two of you get to go out you always let him pick your outfit. Dazai’s list of skills typically pertain to crime and manipulation, but style and fashion is somewhere in there too. He’s usually wearing simple jeans and a crew neck, but he wants you to look like a runway model next to him. “Gosh you look beautiful, gonna make me look like the luckiest guy in the world standing next to you!” he gushes in a sing-song tone.

The first order of business is breakfast, a task which Dazai wants desperately to help you with, but always fails miserably. You opt to let him make coffee for you two, which he adorns with an ungodly amount of sugar and creamer. you’ve been drinking Dazais coffee for so long you’ve grown to like it. It’s like a sweet treat with breakfast, nothing you could complain about. If he gets his hands on a frying pan you’re truly doomed, so this is the one thing you let him have. He can handle the toaster too so he’ll make toast for you guys with jam on it that he spreads on in the shape of a heart with a smiley face in the middle “Dona’ look, can you tell what it is?” he says with a smirk of confidence on his face.

“Very sweet Osamu, your hearts are getting better and better” You can’t actually tell what it is but you know he does the same thing every time. You grab the toast from him and plant a kiss on his cheek, it’s like his reward.

One of Dazai’s favorite things in the world is going to the grocery store with you. It’s such a simple task, that always ends up being so much fun. He relishes in the domesticity of it. It feels almost intimate in a way, it’s something you both would have to do if you were apart, but you’re together, so you do it together for the both of you. He loves being reminded that you are a part of his life in every way.

But god is he troublesome

Dazai is the kind of person to stay at the sample stand and talk to the employee for forever. After about 10 minutes he knows their geographical lineage, their favorite flavor of ice cream, their mother’s maiden name, the name of the high school they went to, the name of their first love, but then he gets bored and moves on. Btw he ate the whole tray of samples while he was talking to them, but made sure to swipe one for you before he bounced. “Don’t think I forgot about you darling” he’d wink as he hands you the cup.

Once you guys get everything you need you head back home. Dazai is a gentleman and is obviously carrying all the heavy bags, but not without complaining. “I don’t remember us getting 3 tons of milk”

“I have the milk, that’s the bag with the 10lb rice”

“I don’t remember us getting 3 tons of rice either.”

When the two of you get home he acts like he just got back from a 12 hour shift, like he’s been fighting an enemy organization all the day, like he’s been strategizing with Ranpo for hours, like he just had to get rescued by Chuuya. He helps you put the groceries away and throws himself onto the couch.

Once he notices you’ve start cooking he returns from his corpse like state on the couch and peaks over at you. He likes watching you cook because you look so focused yet so relaxed at the same time (I’m sorry if you don’t like to cook oops) . He likes to try and read your mind whenever he watches you do things.

Eventually he’ll get up and walk over to the record player in your living room. As you’re chopping away you notice the feint sound of a jazzy tune ringing away behind you, before you can turn around to see the source there is a pair of hands on your hips, swaying you from side to side. “Osamu, I have a knife in my hand”

“That’s never stopped me from anything before in my entire life” he hums away, pushing his body up against yours as he lays his head in the crook of your neck. You guys stay like that as you continue to cook, him humming into your shoulder, planting soft kisses as you simply sway to and forth.

“This is really nice, but I’m about to start chopping onions.” You lied, you were already chopping them.

“Augh god, my eyes! Why would you ruin the moment!?”

“I have to make dinner ‘samu!”

After dinner you guys both enter a corpse like state on the couch, snuggled together, either watching a movie or a parallel play type thing, usually both of you reading your respective books. During this time Dazai can be rather clingy, wanting to literally lay on top of you or have you lay on top of him. He also needs to get your opinion on whatever is happening in the movie or this crazy new suicide method he saw in his book (it’s a novelty interest now, how could he want to die when he has you!)

As bed time approaches, Dazai gets into the shower and it’s your turn to sit in the bathroom with him and tell him about all of your own work drama. Unlike Dazai, your peaks behind the curtain aren’t very sly “hey I see you~” he’d say in a teasing tone.

When the two of you finally get into bed, a wave of sadness washes over Dazai. He is unpleasantly reminded that he has to go to work tomorrow. His little life with you would end once morning came and he’d go back to having to use 100% of his brain power to focus on anything but you. He dreaded the thought and all he can do now to eleviate the pain is pull you close beside him. He plants a million kisses on your face before pulling your lips against his into a deeper kiss that usually lasts until both of you are tired and slightly out of breath.

At this point you begin to drift off to sleep in each others arms. You awaken the next morning to Dazai flashing you a warm smile as he adjusts the collar of his suit, throwing his jacket over his shoulder before planting a soft kiss to your lips and heading out the door.

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I FINALLY wrote something for my husband Dazai. I hope you guys enjoy and I can’t wait to keep writing I’m having so much fun here!! Stay safe guys and much love 🤍🤍🤍 -aria

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[freyaphoria]

Ateez Reactions: You want to keep your hoodie/t-shirt on (maknae line)

hyung line

tw: gaining weight mentioned, being skinny memtioned, stretch marks, hurt-comfort, kissing, insecurities!! (idk why but i can't write tw properly)

taglist: @aim-blossom @itza-meee

San

You had just finished the first month of your relationship with San, you didn't see each other often due to his work so you hadn't been physically intimate yet. Since you had been friends for a long time before becoming lovers, he knew well the things that you were confident in and those that you were not, and he always approached you with respect on these issues. He would try to cover up your shortcomings without letting you know, which is why you've never felt insecure around him before. But why do you feel like you're going to sink into the ground right now?

San was on a week-long vacation and wanted to spend his vacation with you. You are also excited to spend time with him. San had booked a room at a nice a hotel with sea view, and things happened faster than you expected and now you were under him, waiting for his next move.

You were feeling insecure because of your skinny body compared to his wide and muscular body. San was always a gym freak and loved bodybuilding. What if he doesn't like your skinny body?

His hands were touching every part of your body he could find. He never let go, as if you would disappear if he left you for even a moment. "Are you sure? If you don't stop me now, I won't be able to stop again." He asked you without looking up from his buried head in your neck. Your hands were pulling on his hair and you pulled a little hard because you were nervous. San looked up at you because he thought you wanted him to stop. "Love? Is there something wrong?" You were torn between telling him or not, but if you didn't tell him about your insecurity and he found out later, he would be sad and maybe disappointed with you; you didn't know, you were so overwhelmed right now.

"I don't want to take off my t-shirt because I'm so skinny and I'll look bad next to you, you won't like me." San looked at you for a while and laughed. But it wasn't a sarcastic laugh, it was like 'are you giving a fuck about this?'.

"You look bad next to me? Love, you are the hottest person I have ever seen and you call yourself bad? Huh?!" San pulled you closer and brought his face closer to yours. "You're so beautiful! Get that in your mind!" He started tickling you and you were squirming. "San- Sannie! Stop!-" You couldn't talk because you were laughing. He knew how to instantly lift your mood. This was a habit from your time as friends. If one of you was in a bad mood, the other would tickle them until they forgot about that thing.

"Okay okay! I give up!" He left you and you regained your breath. "Say it." "Say what?" "Say that you're beautiful or I'll tickle you again." "I am beautiful." You said, staring at him blankly for a moment before his hands moved back to your waist again. "But can I still keep my shirt on? To make me feel comfortable." "Of course, you are already so beautiful in every way." He nod his head before burying his head in your neck again and whispering into your ear the most beautiful words you've ever heard.

Mingi

It wasn't unusual for you to get close in the studio. You've done it dozens of times before at Mingi's studio. But what was different was that you were insecure about your body these days because you thought you had gained weight. Mingi never commented on your size; He wouldn't talk to you critically, except to tell you how beautiful you were and that he adored you.

But when one of your close friends talked about your weight gain in a very humorous and derogatory way, you inevitably felt bad.

While Mingi was trying to write his new solo song, you were lying on the sofa in the studio and playing on your phone because you couldn't find anything to do. You were startled when Mingi suddenly pulled his chair back and turned towards you.

"Come here." He patted his lap. You lazyly got up and sat on his lap. This was also a habit between the two of you. Whenever Mingi was stressed, he would call you to his lap, hug you, and while your scent enchanted him, new ideas would come to his mind.

Mingi's hands began to wander over your body as he hugged you tightly. He started tugging on the thick hoodie you were wearing. When his breathing deepened, you understood what he wanted. “Put your arms up kitten, help me” he grabbed the hem of your hoodie and tried to lift it up. When you stopped him by grabbing his wrists, he looked at you confused. "I don't want to take it off." When you said it hesitantly, his eyes looked worried. "Did I do something? I'm sorry? Did I make you angry? Is it because of the cake I ate yesterday without realizing it was yours? Kitten, I didn't know it was really yours." If you weren't in a bad mood you'd giggle at him. "No, of course not. It's just... I gained weight and my body is not beautiful. I don't want you to see me like this." Mingi pulled you closer to him and hugged you again while stroking your hair. "Don't be ridiculous. I don't care even if you gain weight. I love you so much that even if you weigh 500 kilos, you will still be the most beautiful woman in the world." You giggled at him. "Is it possible to weigh 500 kilos?" Mingi pulled your hoodie down. "I don't know, maybe not?" You both laughed. "Would you feel more comfortable if we didn't take off your hoodie?" You nodded at him. “Okay kitten, I got you."

Wooyoung

"Would you relax a bit?" It was the first time you and Wooyoung got this close; Yes, he was usually on you all the time, but this was different. You were in his dorm room and you were nervous because someone would break in at any moment, on top of that you were going to show him your body so openly for the first time, and he understood your nervousness. "What if someone sees it?" He was kissing you slowly. "There's no one in the dorm right now. Can you trust me for a bit?" You trusted him, and he didn't force you. At first you wanted to get closer, but then your insecurities took over and you started making excuses.

He pulled you into his lap and held your head in his hands. "Why are you nervous? If you don't want to, I can stop and we can continue our day as if it never happened." You shook your head. "I want, but..." "But what?" You avoided eye contact and started playing with the ends of your shirt. "But you know... I..." Your eyes met as he lowered his head to make eye contact with you. You took a deep breath and spoke. "I'm not happy with my body and I have stretch marks." He looked at you confused. "So? I have stretch marks too? What does this change?" You were too embarrassed to talk so you whined in his lap. He grabbed you under your arms and lifted you into the air, pulling you closer. "Look, if you worry about such small things, you'll miss the moment." His eyes were so full of love that they almost made you forget all your insecurities. "I know I just can't help it. Can I just keep my t-shirt on? Besides I'm scared that someone will come and see me. Please?" He grabbed you by your neck and gently pulled you down to his eye level and kissed you slowly on your lips. "I'm 100 percent sure no one will come, but as long as you're comfortable."

Jongho

You and Jongho hadn't gotten physically intimate enough to take your clothes off yet. You would kiss and hug each other every day, but you wouldn't go that far. Jongho wanted to wait until you were ready and not bring it up so that you don't get nervous. But today, for the first time, when you said you were ready for him, you had doubts. Jongho never made a bad comment about your body, but you still didn't feel good about him seeing your body.

When you and Jongho were lying lazyly on the couch in the living room and the topic came up with physical intimacy, you gave him the green light, Jongho couldn't wait any longer, he changed his position, laid you on your back and started kissing you slowly. Your heart was beating so fast with excitement and tension that you thought he could hear it. He was kissing you deeper than you had ever kissed before, and you thought he was holding back until now. Since only the light of the television illuminated the room, you couldn't clearly see his facial expressions; you got nervous because you didn't know if he liked you, if he was enjoying you, if he was happy... You were afraid that anxiety would start to take over and ruin the mood. So you tried to pull away as his hands moved from your chin to your waist and he slowly started removing your top. You couldn't go back too far and held his hands.

"Don't." You were still kissing, but your pace slowed down. "Hm?" He hummed you without leaving your lips. You didn't know how to tell him. "Don't take off my hoodie." Jongho finally pulled away from you and you locked eyes. But his hands went to your hair and tucked the strand from your face under your ear. "Why? How will I see and feel you then?" You could feel your ears turning red with embarrassment. You mentally thanked the lack of light in the room. "You don't need to see my body because it's not beautiful-" He interrupted you by kissing you and whining against your lips. "Don't be ridiculous." "I'm not being ridiculous, I'm telling the truth."

He picked you up and placed you on his lap. "If you're comfortable, let's keep your clothes on, hm?" You nodded your head, too embarrassed to speak. "Look at me, doll." You lifted your head and looked at him. "It doesn't matter to me, stop stressing yourself. Besides, it makes me very angry that you are so beautiful and you treat yourself unfairly." Just as you were about to open your mouth and object, he interrupted you. "We can do it any way you want, as long as you feel comfortable and safe. Shall we go to the bedroom?"

a/n: I finally completed it! Sannie's was a little long but... Anyway, I'll continue with yandere requests. Yunho is wrecking me these days, so don't be surprised if I post 50 yandere yunho at once. HE IS SO!?!?!?!???!?! You have to stop Jeong Yunho, my heart can't take it anymore.

I don't think anyone reads this a/n place lol so I'm going to ramble on around here from now on.

[acmeangel]

Small Forevers | One Shot

SFW, sad vibes, yearning vibes Levi x Y/N one shot Summary: You and Levi once thought you’d be together forever. Forever doesn’t come, and Levi is getting married to someone else. (I did, in fact, break my own heart writing this one.) Word count: 2297

When Levi first realized he was in love with you, the moment came out of nowhere.

The two of you didn’t even see each other that often. You knew from the start that Levi was more than just busy — his duty came first, and he was, in every sense of the word, unavailable.

Still, you couldn’t resist the stolen moments and scattered nights you’d spend together. You’d have endured a thousand lifetimes just for the fleeting, ephemeral moments when his gaze upon you would soften.

And, for reasons he hadn’t, couldn’t tell you, he couldn’t resist you, either.

You’d convinced him, on one especially clear-skied night, to go outside and look at the stars with you. He groaned at the idea, his thoughts already riddled with the aftermath of grass stains on his clothes and mud on his boots, but he said yes. For you.

So, you sat out in the grass by a stream with him, his head nestled into your lap. You spent an hour pointing out stars to him and making up the most absurd names for constellations you could think of, vehemently persuading him that they were real.

“I can’t believe you really believed there was a constellation called The King’s Toilet,” you giggled, looking down at him, a wry smile gliding onto your face.

“Sorry, did I not tell you fifteen times how insane that sounded?” He frowned, but his eyes betrayed the faintest inkling of amusement. “You derive too much enjoyment from making me suffer. You’re sick in the head. I should let Hange run experiments on you.”

“Oh, you wouldn’t dare.” Your jaw dropped in mock-offense.

“I might.” The crease between his brow smoothed out, slightly.

A comfortable silence fell between you two, as you tilted your head back up to look at the sky.

“Sometimes,” you began, your voice wistful, melting into the midnight purple sky. “I look up at the moon when we’re not together, and I wonder if you’re looking at it, too. Wherever you are.”

You tilted your head back down, your eyes found his.

“This is why you keep me around, huh? To torment me with your sentimentality?” His gaze narrowed, but the lightest shade of pink crawled onto his cheeks, barely perceptible through the darkness.

“No, it’s not,” your voice leveled out into a mellow rhythm. “I also like looking at your nose.”

“That’s what does it for you?” His eyebrow raised, hovering somewhere between disbelief and mesmerized. “My nose?”

Mmm, you hummed, the soft lilt of your voice blending melodically into the chirping of crickets and serene trickling of the stream — he was certain that it was the most beautiful song he’d ever heard.

“It does. Among other things.” Your finger gently traced down the slope of his nose, landing at the tip of it. “But, mostly your nose.”

His eyes trailed from your finger on his nose, up your hand, up the gentle curve of your arm, your shoulder, your neck. Without even trying, he memorized every faded scar, every freckle, every strand of hair that fell past your shoulder. Consuming the sight of you was like breathing for him — involuntary, simple, but necessary for his survival.

When his eyes finally met yours, it wasn’t just that he saw something in them. It was that he saw everything.

“You’re really strange, you know. I’ll remember to look at the moon more.” His voice was dry as ever. It was the only thing he could think to say; the words he truly felt were stuck somewhere in his ribcage, tangled together and out of his reach.

“I know.” You whispered, your words dripping out of your mouth as sweet as honey onto his skin. Your finger fell from the tip of his nose to his lips. You knew.

You leaned down, strands of your hair falling forward and gently grazing against his jawline; a touch so delicately intimate, it felt like a secret he was being let in on.

Your lips pressed softly against his, which immediately parted, just for you. His tongue swept across yours. No, this wasn’t honey. It was so much better. This was ambrosia — the stuff reserved for only the gods to taste, miraculous, a promise of immortality.

This was forever. He was sure of it. You were, too.

***

As the months passed by, Levi came to visit you more frequently. You weren’t sure if this was a conscious effort of his or simply happenstance, and you didn’t ask. You just accepted it.

He’d sleep with his head on your chest, the steadiness of your heartbeat soothing him to sleep. At first, he’d tend to wake up throughout the night, staring at the ceiling or out the window; he’d wake up before you, the bed empty beside you in the morning. You’d never forget the first time you woke up to him, still asleep, nuzzled against your chest. Soon, that became normal.

You’d tell him stories about the minutiae of your daily life, which he’d listened to intently, finding that they gave him a brief, rare feeling of normalcy. You’d read him passages from the books you read — he’d mutter gripes under his breath at poetry and clench his jaw in concentration at history. You’d muse and ramble about your latest ideas, dreams, wishes, hopes, and no matter how ridiculously sentimental he’d call you, he’d always listen as if your voice was the only sound that had ever existed to him.

For the most part, this is how it was. You talked. And he listened. Physical affection was shared with softer, gentler touches, though his lips seemed to always find the tender spot on your neck below your ear, his favorite place to kiss you. His hand would wrap around the bottom of your neck, not with any force or possessiveness, but with reverence, worship.

Levi began to open up to you, too. He’d tell you a story about his days in the Underground or what went wrong during his last mission or about how uncertain he really felt, all the time. He’d confide in you that he didn’t know if good or bad even existed within him, that he wasn’t entirely sure what he was anymore. He’d reveal pieces of himself the way water flows from a cracked vase — a slow, evenly paced drip. And every time he told you something new, he looked a little bit softer, lighter.

He’d started bringing you bundles of wildflowers when he’d see you because he said they reminded him of you. By the time they’d start to wilt, he’d appear at your door, fresh ones in hand. It was like a perfectly tuned clock, set to a pace that only the two of you knew about.

When you were together, the entire universe diluted itself down to the two of you — all of the stars, the cosmos, existed just to burn between the two of you. Nothing else mattered.

It was like this for a while. But, fate is fickle, and some forevers, like the stars in the sky, burn too brightly, too fiercely, too quickly to last eternally.

His visits to you became fewer and further in between. It wasn’t his fault, you knew this. You’d never blame him for it. You’d heard whisperings of what had been going on within the Survey Corps and it was enough to make you worry. Actually worry.

It had been a handful of months since he’d last visited you, but he still fit into your bedroom like he had never left. Wildflowers in hand.

The warm glow of the candlelight in your room illuminated his features in a way that softened his often sharp appearance — he was so beautiful. He had no idea. He never did.

Your head was cradled in his lap as he sat against the headboard of your bed. His hand rested on the top of your head, stroking your hair and holding you in place, as if keeping you where you belonged.

His gaze was distant, fixated on some invisible point in front of himself, far away. He was like this the last time he visited you, too. And the time before. And the time before.

His fingers slipped through your hair; he slipped through your fingers.

“Levi,” you whispered, gently. “Where are you? Come back...”

His gaze snapped to yours, a foggy haze in his eyes. “Sorry.”

His fingers continued their soft motion through your hair.

“What’s been going on with you?” You didn’t want to ask, you didn’t want to know the answer. You were afraid that the question would pry out of him an answer that would shatter the fragile glass that had encased the two of you, preserving your connection.

“It’s…” his eyes searched yours, as if contemplating how much to reveal, how much to worry you, “complicated. Tch. Gone to shit. Everything has. I don’t have a damn clue what’s going to happen. Not that I ever have.”

You reached up, your fingers gently molded to the curve of his cheek, a familiar feeling. “Levi, isn’t it always complicated? And you always end up on the other side of it. You will this time, too.” You tried to lull him out of this riptide with your voice.

His hand found the back of his neck, rubbing it with jagged movement.

“It’s different this time. Every shitty thing is different. I can’t afford to be… away from it anymore. I can’t keep letting everyone down. I just- I have to be there. I can’t afford distractions.”

Your lips dipped into a small frown. “Is that what this has been for you? What… I have been to you? A distraction?”

“No.” His eyes widened, flooding with instant regret. “Fuck. No.”

“I guess,” you sighed, your throat working hard to get the words out, “even from the start, I knew it was only a matter of time, before…”

“Yeah,” he cut you off. “It probably was.”

Silence. A long one.

“Shit,” he muttered, the word slicing through the thick air. His hand shifted from the back of his neck to on top of yours, holding your hand to his cheek as if it was his last lifeline, his final fruitless attempt to keep you attached to him.

“You’ll be able to come back eventually, right? Even if it takes a long time?” It was a Hail Mary of a question, and you knew that, but you were desperate. The very core of your being filled with an impossibly chasmic ache at the thought of him not returning to you.

“I don’t want to make a promise I can’t keep, Y/N.”

You paused. Your gaze drifted away from him. “I love you, Levi.”

“I know.” He replied quickly, his voice husky, strained. He took a breath. “I love you too, Y/N.”

It was the first time he’d ever said it.

Your eyes found his, for what you knew was the last time.

And there it was. That softened gaze of his.

“Maybe in the next life, we’ll get it right.” Your voice barely made a sound, the words disappearing into the air.

“Maybe.”

He retracted his hand. Yours dropped down to the bed.

***

It was for an everlasting stretch of time that you felt like you were left with the hollowed out husk of a soul. You couldn’t fathom the thought of ever loving again; part of you would always belong to him.

Time had a funny way of surprising you, though, the way it always does. Eventually, you learned to fill that empty husk again; it became new, different.

Your head started to fit in the crook of someone else’s neck. The sound of someone else’s voice saying your name became the last thing you’d hear every night. You memorized a new person’s list of likes, dislikes, idiosyncrasies, fears, memories, mannerisms, hopes.

You’d finally reached goals that you’d once told Levi about, visited places you thought you’d bring him to see. You’d have dreams that he’d find nonsensical, complaints that you knew only he’d understand, or read a book that he’d enjoy. You’d wake up one day and suddenly have a distaste for what was once your favorite food, and for some reason, you’d want to tell him — you’d want to write to him, “I’ve changed since then. Have you?”

You’d still look at the moon sometimes and wonder if, maybe, he was looking at it, too. Like he said he would.

When you heard through a chain of friends-of-friends-of-friends that Levi was actually getting married to someone else, it felt like your entire world shifted on its axis. It wasn’t that you were angry, or even surprised — you had moved on, and he had every right to do the same.

It was that you wondered if a part of him still belonged to you, too.

You wondered if she loved his nose the way you did.

***

The day was here. Levi stood at the altar, a place that he honestly never envisioned himself being, across from someone who wasn't you. But, it felt right. This much was true. Being with her felt like being enveloped in a slow, warm breeze that could thaw through the coldest winter air. Her love was a tender, soft comfort he’d grown used to, that he’d started to rely on. It was different.

“I do.” The words came out of her mouth soft, rounded, sweet. Her cheeks glowed. She was happy. He made her happy. Even still, it was hard for him to believe that he could have that effect on somebody.

And now, she had told everyone that this — that Levi — was, undoubtedly, her forever.

It was his turn to say it. Those two words.

He looked into her eyes.

And, while he knew that he saw something in them, he didn’t see everything.

Requested by @leviykwim

Masterlist

Requests are open!

[oceanicwriting]

matilda.

summary: it's your first birthday away from that place you once called home. you were miles away from all the things that hurt you, and although melancholy eats away at you, you knew there was one person who would always be there for you.

pairing(s): theodore nott x fem!reader

a/n: today is my birthday! i always get a little melancholy about it, so here is a story inspired by the song matilda by harry styles.

. . .

ㅤㅤㅤyour hair moves with the mountain breeze, camouflaging itself with the movement of the tall, green undergrowth. you are given over to the embrace of nature, making your heart jump every time it surprises you with birds stopping by your side and tickled by the wind lifting your clothes. the valley before your eyes was beautiful.

ㅤㅤㅤa few meters from where you're sitting is your house, a small cabin that you share with your boyfriend. day to day, you spend growing vegetables, taking care of animals, and building. that whole place had become your most precious possession because it was full of love. the quiet life that you had wanted to have for years.

ㅤㅤㅤtoday was your birthday and, like every now and then, you remember the past stuck in the depths of your soul. there was a time when you surrounded yourself with people who didn't appreciate you, filling your days with hurtful words and actions that marked the life of a little girl. you had been able to bear it, but all wounds must stop hurting one day.

ㅤㅤㅤ—love.

ㅤㅤㅤyou turn around, filling your mind with that theodore nott standing behind you. his shirt is open at the first few buttons, messy at the edge of his baggy pants, and his hair blowing in all directions. a soft smile decorates his lips so familiar to you.

ㅤㅤㅤ—what are you doing here?

ㅤㅤㅤyou pat the floor beside you, inviting him to sit down and say—: i'm... thinking.

ㅤㅤㅤtheodore sits with you, covering the breeze from the side with his wide and well-worked torso.

ㅤㅤㅤ—thinking? —his hand searches for yours, interlacing them and resting on your lap—. thinking about what?

ㅤㅤㅤthe way his hair flies in all directions makes you smile quietly. there was a usual magic in his serene presence that always managed to silence the tornado of disordered thoughts in your head. your free hand can't help but approach his face, caressing the beauty of his well-defined features under the sunset light.

ㅤㅤㅤ—you're thinking about them, right? —he asks, closing his eyes at the feeling of your caresses against his skin—. are you thinking about your family? you know you can tell me anything...

ㅤㅤㅤyou nod, looking in the direction of the valley in front of you.

ㅤㅤㅤ—when my father left, on my tenth birthday, he always said he would come back for me. he never came. —the sour laugh you release into the air feels like a relief—. why would he come back? he would write me saying that something had happened, that something much more important had come up or that something happened with the car. i trusted his words over mom's...

ㅤㅤㅤyour head rests on his shoulder, feeling the tears slowly run down your face and fall to the dry floor.

ㅤㅤㅤ—and we would argue about it right before i went to bed, because i would always be the spitting image of him. i would always be the carbon copy of the person who left her, betrayed her, and hurt her.

ㅤㅤㅤ—it's not your fault that your mother couldn't see that you are also the image of love, sincerity, and honesty —he says, his soft, calm voice embracing the sadness of your soul. he forces you to sit facing his direction, adjusting himself to face you—. the image of a girl who needed more than reproaches.

ㅤㅤㅤtheodore brings his forehead to yours, allowing both of your breaths to mingle. he caresses your cheek, silencing the soft sobs that escape your lips. the boy's caresses on your arm don't hurry you, they just accompany your tears until you stop.

ㅤㅤㅤ—do you know they can't catch you again? —he says. you flutter your eyelashes, and theodore smiles, kissing the bridge of your nose—. i won't let them catch you.

ㅤㅤㅤyou smile, moving closer to leave a peck on his smiling lips. he looks at you, and one of his hands reaches out to your cheekbone to catch a small eyelash that has fallen.

ㅤㅤㅤ—a wish. —he squeezes the eyelash between his thumb and index finger, placing it in front of your eyes—. today, you will make a wish. you will tell me where it is stuck, up or down, and if you get it right, your wish will come true.

ㅤㅤㅤyou raise your eyebrows, laughing and then asking—: what if i’m wrong?

ㅤㅤㅤhis calm gaze shines, telling you that he’s about to tell you a lie.

ㅤㅤㅤ—you’ll tell me your wish, and i’ll make it happen. do you underestimate me?

ㅤㅤㅤtheodore nott had saved you in every way possible. he had taken care of your feelings, peace, home, and happiness in a way that no one had before. he had taken the time necessary to heal all the wounds on your bruised body with such tenderness that your wounds were now war marks.

ㅤㅤㅤ—never.

ㅤㅤㅤ—so? —you connect your eyes with his, without understanding—. come on, ask the universe for your wish.

ㅤㅤㅤand you think about how safe you feel when you wake up with him sleeping carefree next to you. you think about the happiness that runs through your body when you cook side by side in the kitchen where only the two of you fit. you think about all the things you had to give up to be in a place like this. you think about that cabin full of the love you feel, memories, and experiences.

ㅤㅤㅤ—a wish?

ㅤㅤㅤhe nods.

ㅤㅤㅤbut there was no wish because the universe had sent you everything you ever needed in the form of theodore nott. so, instead of making a wish you ask for an answer, you ask the universe to be right if this was what would make you happy for the rest of your life.

ㅤㅤㅤ—ready? —theodore asks, smiling—. up or down?

ㅤㅤㅤ—up.

ㅤㅤㅤhe separates his fingers, and the eyelash comes to rest on top, right in the middle of his index finger. when he orders you to blow, your body lets go with that hair the last worries on your mind.

ㅤㅤㅤyou turn to look at him, noticing how his long eyelashes move over his eyes. it is impossible to hold back your desire to have him close, so you throw yourself at him, hugging him tightly.

ㅤㅤㅤ—what's wrong? —he questions, laughing and returning the hug.

ㅤㅤㅤ—nothing —you say, resting your chin on his chest—. i just appreciate it, love.

ㅤㅤㅤhis smile widens, caressing your back and opening his mouth to answer. nothing manages to leave his lips because the sound of other voices approaching get ahead of him.

ㅤㅤㅤ—there! —lorenzo, one of your friends, shouts, appearing on top of the mountain with the rest of the boys.

ㅤㅤㅤyou look at theodore, who helps you up and leans close to your ear to say—: surprise.

[teenytinyjimin]

i miss you, i’m sorry (j. jungkook)

nothing happened in the way i wanted

every corner of this house is haunted

and i know you said that we’re not talking

but i miss you, i’m sorry.

summary: the first time seeing each other after the breakup is always the hardest. but seeing each other when you're still in love? an absolute nightmare

pairing: jungkook x reader

word count: 2k

tags: angst, smoker!jk, brokenhearted!jk, equally as brokenhearted!reader, why did they even break up in the first place?, featuring reader’s bestfriend!jimin, also jimin is sexually ambiguous let's keep it that way please

warnings: none, alcohol/nic use but nothing too intense, kinda sad but it's a happy ending i promise

author’s note: idk why i keep making my fic names and stuff inspired by songs, i guess it just helps me beat writers block.

also i wrote this in second person, lmk if you guys prefer that over third. i personally find third person fics easier to write, but i'm sure second person is easier to read for some of you. enjoy my angels!

── ⋅ ⋅ ── ✩ ── ⋅ ⋅ ──

Bars weren't really your thing.

If you were going to be honest, they were miles better than nightclubs, but still not your thing. It was something about the air that just rubbed you the wrong way. Perhaps it was all the creepy old men that turned you off of them, or just the fact that there's not much to do besides sit, drink, sit some more, maybe play some pool and... sit.

Jimin, on the other hand, loved bars. He loved being able to sit there, look pretty, and watch as absolutely anyone and everyone flocked over to him to start a conversation. It admittedly fueled his ego, and he loved the feeling of being the center of attention. However, he didn't love being at bars alone. Being so drop-dead gorgeous meant that about twenty times the amount of creeps bothered him than the average bar patron. Many of them figured that a pretty boy like him was sitting there waiting to be swooped up by a sugar daddy. Let's get one thing straight – that wasn't him. He had plenty of money. He just wanted to have a little conversation, give a little kiss here and there maybe, and dip at the end of the night with his bar companion by his side.

Unfortunately for you, that bar companion was usually you. It was certainly a compliment for Jimin to want to bring you along with him instead of any of his other gazillions of friends and other social connections, but it was quite exhausting for you to be in a bar pretty much every day of every weekend. He liked the attention, but you didn't. If it were an empty room with nothing but you and a bottle of rum, you'd have a blast. But what bar in Itaewon was going to be like that?

Alas, here you were, sat at the end of a bar with your friend sitting next to you. Something about the light in the building made him look extra beautiful tonight, his skin shimmering like the most precious of diamonds and his eyes deep and full of allure. At the moment he was making small talk with a lady on the other side of him, one who was definitely at least twenty years his senior but didn't look a day past thirty. Sighing, you drop your head down to look at your drink, a half-full martini glass that held a rather disappointing cosmopolitan (you weren't a vodka fan anyway, it wasn't the bartender's fault).

You wanted to be home. That was the only place you ever wanted to be these days. At home, cuddling your darling kitty in bed, and sleeping your days away. Maybe a year ago you would have loved being out and about, but now it feels more like a burden than a fun activity. And you know that Jimin doesn't mean any harm in doing what he does, but seeing him talk with so many people over the course of the night and being so happy is almost a bit gut-wrenching for you because you can't be as happy as him.

You began to feel the blood rush to your ears and your face get warm. Something was wrong, you could sense it. Everyone has those gut instincts when something isn't quite right, and this wasn't just an instinct, it was like a neon sign. A neon sign that read DANGER. Perhaps it was just you feeling rather anxious and overwhelmed, but either way you were craving the comfort of your home.

"Hey, 'Minnie, can we-" Just as you turned to Jimin to softly ask him if you could go home or at the very least switch bars, you felt a presence behind you. It wasn't just an I'm here to order a drink presence, but rather an I'm here for you one. Realizing that Jimin wasn't even listening anyway, you froze, waiting to see what would happen. And that's when you heard a familiar voice that you thought you'd never hear again.

"Hey."

You didn't want to turn around. You tried to stay as still as a statuette for as long as possible, however the more you thought about the man behind you the more you felt the urge to turn around and take a bite of the forbidden fruit. Taking a deep breath, you slowly turned until you were face-to-face with your ex, Jungkook.

"Want to talk outside?" Not yet looking at him directly, you hesitantly nodded before quickly looking back to Jimin and then standing up. You left your purse there, figuring that your friend would grab it if he changed locations, and began trailing after the tall tattooed figure that navigated his way toward the door.

As the two of you stepped out into the cool autumn air, you crossed your arms and leaned against the building. Your heart was between your ears at this point, buzzing at what felt like 200 beats a minute. It was stupid for you to have even left Jimin's side, you thought, because now you were alone with your ex of all people and God knows what this boy has up his sleeve.

"You look good," Jungkook said gently as he pulled out a pack of cigarettes and placed one between his lips. "And I know what you're going to say, you're so full of it Kook, but I mean it."

"Since when have you started smoking?" You asked, ignoring his previous two statements and gesturing toward the pack in his hand. He shrugged. "Couple weeks after I last saw you maybe? Not a big deal."

"You know that stuff's bad for you."

"I don't think sitting here third-wheeling with Jimin and his beau of the night is any better."

"You don't know Jimin, don't act like you do," You said, completely taken aback and offended by the words coming out of his mouth. "And I'm having a good time, thank you very much."

"Doesn't seem like it. Weren't you about to ask him if you guys could leave?"

"I was having- What?- Is there a reason you asked to talk to me out here?" You were struggling to form a complete sentence. This man always knew how to leave you speechless, but now it was just irritating. You watched as Jungkook leaned back onto the building with you and shook his head, giving you a toothy grin before lighting the cigarette in his mouth. "Nah. Just figured you'd have more fun out here talking to me and getting a break from it all."

"You know he's waiting for me, right? I should go back inside." You stand back up straight and begin walking back into the bar, however you feel a warm hand wrap gently around your wrist and tug you back. "Hey hey hey," Jungkook called. "He'll survive a few minutes without you. Just chill with me. I'm not asking you for anything, just a second of your time."

You turned to face your ex-lover, your eyes finally meeting his for the first time that night. Even after all this time of being apart, those beautiful doe eyes still yearned for you, and yours for him. With a shaky sigh, you brush his hand away and return to where you were standing. "Exes don't hang out like this, Jungkook."

"Woah, you're pulling out the full government name on me now?" The boy teased, puffing a cloud of smoke from his mouth. "Should I be offended?"

"I'm setting boundaries," You crossed your arms and kicked at the ground beneath you. "Nicknames are for friends or more than friends, which we aren't."

"We aren't strangers either though."

"That doesn't matter. Not friends."

"Alright, fine," Giving up, Jungkook looked down at his hand and flexed it awkwardly. "Just trying to be friendly."

"Friendly?!" You said frantically, finally having enough of his antics. "You don't need to be friendly. We broke up and that's the end of it. Exes aren't friends. They go their separate ways and when they see each other again – if they see each other – they ignore each other. I don't get why you're doing this psychological warfare bullshit on me."

"Exes can be friends," He breathed out in protest. "Can you even tell me why we broke up in the first place?"

You remained silent. The truth was that you didn't know why you broke up either. It had been almost a year since the whole ordeal went down, and you were still confused more than anything else, even more than you were hurt. All you can remember is that you guys went through some bullshit ‘mutual breakup’ that apparently neither of you wanted in the first place. The only reason you even agreed to it is because somewhere within you, you felt like perhaps you weren’t deserving of such a wonderful relationship. And the only reason Jungkook agreed to it is because he thought that it’s what you wanted.

"No, seriously. What went wrong? What did I do? I just want some closure..." His voice became increasingly softer as he kept speaking, which only meant one thing. You stared at the ground intensely, refusing to look up and see his teary eyes.

You felt his hand gently wrap around yours and tug on it as a plea for your attention. Jungkook was your weakness, the only person you'd willingly do anything for, and he really loved to take advantage of that without even realizing he was.

You peered up at him hesitantly, worried that you'd find yourself in tears the second you saw the ones pouring from his eyes. Sure enough, when the eye contact began, you were driving yourself forward into his strong arms and dampening his shirt with your tears.

Jungkook's embrace felt the same as it did the last time you felt it. It was still so warm, so inviting, so loving. Never once did you feel unsafe in his arms and this moment was not an exception. As you sobbed into his shirt you felt his hand move from around your waist to the top of your head, stroking your hair gently.

The two of you stood there for what seemed like hours, simply letting all emotion out while enjoying the company of one another. While Jungkook has been exceptionally transparent in expressing the fact that he's heartbroken about the situation between the two of you, it's safe to say that you feel equally as devastated. This man was once the love of your life and the only one you ever needed, but now everything about him except for his embrace feels foreign. This was someone you once saw yourself building a life with, but now it's shattering to think that he has a life after you.

You pulled away after a while, refusing to make eye contact as you wiped the tears from your eyes. This all felt entirely pointless. It was obvious that nothing went wrong in the relationship yet here you were, no longer in one. You couldn't begin to imagine what Jungkook had been going through since you guys broke up considering the fact that for you, your entire world turned upside down.

"I'm sorry," You managed to choke out before you felt Jungkook's hand gently guide your face up to look at his. You watched him stare at you for a moment, taking in your features, before his lips began to curl into a soft smile. "Mmm. Yeah. You're way too pretty to let slip through my fingers."

Feeling your face turn hot as a blush crept to your cheeks, you let out a soft giggle before you were cut off by a familiar pair of lips meeting yours.

"JUNGKOOK?" You heard a voice call out. The two of you pulled apart, eyes wide. Shit. You forgot about Jimin.

[svnluns]

Hii do you think you could maybe do a fic based off Billie’s song “The diner” it can have smut in it

sure love x

⋆ the dinner

You were watching Billie from your black car. The windows were tinted so she couldn't see you, but you could see her.

From where you sat, you had a clear view of the diner she always went to with her friends after red carpets or events like that.

You watched her laugh and talk. She looked so beautiful.

You decided to start the engine and move forward, but that turned out to be a mistake.

She turned toward her friends, then looked directly at you-her stalker.

You saw her get up from her seat and walk out of the diner, heading straight for your car.

Now, she was standing next to your window, tapping on the glass.

You looked at her and lowered the window.

"Yo, what the fuck is wrong with you?" she snapped, clearly pissed.

"This is the third time l've seen you. What do you want?" she added, locking eyes with you.

"I want you," you said, smiling.

She was speechless, her words caught in her throat.

"Lost your tongue?" you teased, trying to snap her out of her trance.

"Uh-no. Whatever. Just leave me alone," she said, avoiding eye contact.

"I know you want me. You never push me away, so what's up now?" you asked, feigning a sad tone.

"Oh, shut up, would you?" she shot back.

"Do I make you nervous?" you pressed.

"Damn... fuck," she muttered, leaning toward you and kissing you.

You'd always known she wanted you, and you were thrilled she was finally admitting it.

You told her to open the back seat door so you could both be more comfortable.

She climbed on top of you, kissing you passionately.

"Fuck, you taste so good," she moaned into your mouth.

"So do you, babe," you replied, unbuttoning her jeans and sliding a hand into her pants.

You teased her through the fabric of her panties as she slid her hand under your shirt, reaching for your chest.

You couldn't help but moan her name.

You had wanted this for so long.

You helped her out of her jeans, feeling her grow wetter with every touch.

"Look at you. I didn't know making you mad could also make you wet," you whispered into her ear.

"Shut up and keep going," she growled, kissing your neck.

You slid her panties to the side and easily inserted two fingers into her.

She groaned as you pushed deeper inside her, her head tilting back in pleasure.

"Don't stop, please," she begged.

Her desperation boosted your confidence, so you decided to add a third finger.

"Ah, fuck!" she moaned loudly, tears streaming down her face. "I'm gonna cum."

"Go ahead, baby. Cum on my fingers, and I'll make you taste yourself after," you whispered, grabbing her neck to kiss her lips, then her throat.

Hearing that sent her over the edge. She came hard on your fingers.You slowly pulled your fingers out.

"Open up," you instructed.

She parted her lips, but you weren't satisfied.

"Wider, baby," you said, making her look at your fingers.

You slid them into her mouth, watching her taste and lick them clean.

You handed her jeans back as you shifted to let her dress.

[bedoballoons]

Hi! How are you?

This is my first request on this blog so it’s nice to talk to you! I was wondering if I could request Childe and maybe Kaeya (you can add anyone else you deem as fit for the role if you want to) with fem!reader where reader is sad and character does the dirty sad little sushi roll thing…If that’s okay!

Feel free to decline this! And have some flowers for your time 💐

Thank you lovely!

I'm doing well thank you, hope you are too! You called me lovely oh my gosh >////< Welcome to my blog cutie! I won't lie I had to Google this so I hope I got it right and you enjoy! <3

─⊰⁠⊹ฺ🍂𝔾𝕖𝕟𝕤𝕙𝕚𝕟 ℍ𝕖𝕒𝕕𝕔𝕒𝕟𝕠𝕟𝕤⊰⁠⊹ฺ🍂

{༻~Dirty sushi roll~༺}

CW: NSFW: MDNI! Bottom Fem reader! Rough s*x, overstimulation (Wanderers), orgasm denial (Childes), kinda bondage?, and cream pies! (Pet names: Lyney: My love, baby, Wanderer: Goodgirl, Childe: Beautiful, Kaeya: Goregous, my dear)

Also in case you don't know what a dirty sushi roll is: It's when you wrap up your partner in a blanket like a sushi roll, d*ck them down really good and make them happy by doing so!

(Includes: Lyney, Wanderer, Childe, and Kaeya!)

♡♡♡♡♡♡♡♡♡♡♡♡♡♡♡♡♡♡♡♡♡♡♡♡♡♡♡♡♡♡

𑁍༄Lyney:

You gasped quietly into Lyneys kiss, feeling your sadness fade with every touch, every soft moan that escaped your lips as he sunk deeper into your cunt, making you forget the reason for your downcast mood so quickly. The blanket wrapped around you made it even better, heat surrounding your body inside and out, comforting you while also making your legs quiver.

"Feeling better my love~" Lyneys warm breath caressed your ear and it sent chills down your spine, your tight walls clenching around him so perfectly. "Y-yesss nnhh-hh!" He intentionally thrusted into your wet heat as you spoke, delighting in the way you threw your head back with glazed over eyes, so goregous for him.

"Mmm good~" His hands wandered down your silky legs, forcing them forward so he could go deeper inside you. His groans growing louder with every snap of his hips in yours, your pussy sucking him in everytime he almost slipped out...this may have been to help you feel better, but he enjoyed it just as much.

"L-l-lyney! Gonna nhgh! Gonna cum!"

"Me too baby, finish with me~"

You clenched the blanket in your fingers, making eye contact with him as his name escaped you over and over. He gave one more harsh thrust into you, causing waves of lust to was over you, muddling your mind while strings of sticky hot cum shot deep inside your womb...in such large amounts that it dribbled down your fluttering cunt onto the blanket.

"Cuddles my l-love?"

"M-mhm!"

𑁍༄Wanderer:

Wanderers hands gripped the couch on either side of your head, keeping him steady as his dick plunged into your drooling cunny with no remorse. He'd keep going until that sad look in your eyes was all but gone, till the only emotion written on your face was that blushy doe like lust that made him want to ravage you all over again, "How's my good girl doing~"

You cried out a moan in response, your mind was barely able to come up with words as your body grew hotter with every second, pussy aching to finish once more and soak the blanket wrapped around you, "B-better! Cu-mmminh! Nhhh-gh!"

He smirked, keeping up his pace as your love splashed around him, dripping down the base of his cock,...this was going to be fun, "Better isn't good enough~"

"Ahhnh! W-wanderer! S-to much!"

"You like it when it's to much~" He leaned in close, sinking his tongue into your hot mouth as his hips thrusted into you faster, "Mmm you always taste so good~"

𑁍༄Childe:

"Awe beautiful, why the whimpering? Don't you like being wrapped up all cozy and full of me?" Childe chuckled teasingly, listening to your pleas for him to let you finish like they were his favourite song. He would've too, but he was just so entranced by the way your drenched pussy fluttered around nothing needily everytime he pulled out of you, the way his hot white cum had begun to mix with your wetness and make stringy line from his tip to you.

"W-wanna finish! P-please mnhnhh-hhah! P-p-leanse!"

He slowly ran his hot fingers along your clit, internally deciding if you'd had enough yet while you moaned loudly, "Hmm, but we are having so much fun...maybe if you moan real nice and loud for me I'll give you what you want, and I mean scream my name loud~"

You gasped under your breath, feeling him softly rub himself against your entrance, prodding you to give a answer...he was making you feel better after all..."S-someone could h-hear-"

"And? Come on beautiful, please~"

𑁍༄Kaeya:

Kaeyas mouth felt hot against your neck, his lips leaving prints on your soft skin as he adorned it with perfect marks, if only he could relieve your sadness the second it appeared...but then he wouldn't be able to wrap you up like this. Watching your sweet little face get more relieved with every movement he made in your heat, listening to your melodic moans while his length stroked your tight walls, already slick with his pre-cum.

"How are you feeling goregous? Is my love helping~"

You squirmed inside the blanket, wanting to grab his hair and pull him into a deep kiss, move your hips in time with his for that perfect rhythm, but the comfort of the blanket also felt nice after the tough day you'd experienced, "Nhghh, i-is good. T-thannk you~"

"Any time my dear~"

♡♡♡♡♡♡♡♡♡♡♡♡♡♡♡♡♡♡♡♡♡♡♡♡♡♡♡♡♡♡

ଘ(੭*ˊᵕˋ)੭* ੈ♡‧₊˚~Have a nice day~*⁠.⁠✧

[skyrigel]

“Fire on Fire”

Pairing: Aemond Targaryen x sister!reader

Benjicot blackwood masterlist

˙⁠❥⁠˙⁠๑ You are betrothed to Cregan Stark and it's your wedding day, but your brother wants to give you a wedding gift, somthing lovely — something you carry with you and what's better than a child.

˙⁠❥⁠˙⁠๑ Targcest, incest, justifying infidelity( not married yet but still ) also be read as twin!reader, kissing and making out, suggestive themes so 18+ rated, pouty and cute Aemond, some jealousy and possesivness, choking ( blink and miss), mentions of hickey. [ Wc: 2k ]

Reblogs and thoughts are always welcome <3 credits to @cafekitsune for text dividor and title from Sam Smith song, “fire on fire”

“Mother, I want to see Aemond.” You saw your reflection in the mirror, the gown was adored with scales and a cloak of fur, a close resemblance to your marriage to Cregan Stark.

“I would see that.” She rubbed her hands on your shoulder, leaning to kiss your head.

“You're the most beautiful bride.”

You tried to smile through your misery.

“Haelena is the most beautiful bride.” You raised your chin, she sniffed through her tears, her throat constricted with words she never managed to say.

“You are doing great, child.” She said, and that was all.

~~~

Everything was getting on your nerves or it was just how wedding days were supposed to be, your skin itched with the furs that tickled your collar bones.

“Martha...fix it.” You tisked when someone moved behind you, it was only a moment before you knew him by scent alone, the way his feet struck the earth.

“Aemond ! ” You jumped back at him and he straightened up like he wasn't just about to ‘boo’ you.

“How did you know ? ” He said, sitting next to you and plucking the furry fabric out that got folded while wearing, releasing you from your torment, like he always did.

“Because I know you.” you told him, sucking in a breath as his finger traced your collar bone, cold against your skin.

“Yes, you do.” He smiled, his jaw hard and eyes glinting like sapphire in moonlight.

You looked away, feeling your insides clench in a sensation that aroused you very much lately.

“I was waiting for you, where were you ?” You said instead, showing forward the bracelet mother gave you with Targaryen sigil, green diamonds circling it's frame.

“Very beautiful.” He brought your hand to his mouth, kissing each knuckle tenderly, looking up and stealing glances from you every time.

“I was actually thinking about your wedding present.” He whispered it low, his voice deep and you frowned, “For me ? ”

He cocked his eyebrow, ofcourse he wasn't going to give Cregan Stark a wedding gift because now that would be ridiculous — He hated Cregan the day your match with him was announced, his loathing only blazed by each day that passed by.

“Ofcourse you, sister.” His mouth tugged at corners, he was admiring you, not surprised because you were always so beautiful, there was this very sad ache in his eyes.

“Then give it to me.” you chirped at him, eyes going wide with the way Aemond flushed.

“I wanted it to be—” He drew closer to you, taking your chin in his hand, “—something you could remember me by.”

You could faint at the intensity, sure Aemond's touch was fire but for the very first time you saw yourself bursting into ashes.

“I wouldn't forget you.” You swallowed, he traced the side of your face, halting at your lips and continued admiring you.

“Shhh.” Aemond hushed, his gaze dropping to your lips as his thumb smeared across your rose tint.

“Something you can carry with you... something that would remind you of me, always.” He whispered, face leaning down and down until his nose was touching yours.

“You will always love me, won't you sister ? ”

He asked it so tenderly, so sweetly that your heart ached, how would you live in the north, despite all the wonders Cregan told you about, it would always be less endearing, less lovely, less yours without him.

“Always, Aemond.” You smiled as his lips pressed on the corner of your mouth, his hands cupping your face and then he pulled back, too soon.

“What happened ? ” You asked him, startled, Aemond grabbed your wrist and brought it to the back of his head and you understood what, you giggled softly, removing his eye patch.

“God, i would miss you so much Aem.” You ran a hand through his hair, soft and silky as you touched them.

“Really ? ” He asked, tilting his head sideways and you nodded, smiling your brightest.

“Very much.” You told him, Aemond took your hand, urging you to follow so you did.

Aemond pulled you towards the mirror, resting his face on your shoulder as he stood behind you, your joined hands crossing your heart.

He teased the crook of your neck with his nose, making you laugh at his mischiefs.

A pause.

“Do you love Cregan ? ”

You looked unsettled at the question, almost shooting him a glare, why would he ask that ?

“I...a wife should love his husband.” You laughed, it was hollow and Aemond's mouth curted.

“That's not what I asked, Do you love him ? ”

“I would happen to.” you would right ? Someday you will happen to love your husband, Haelena and mother and every one does, wouldn't you do just the same ?

You looked away from the reality that was staring back at you, the future that awaited you, duty towards your family.

“Do you love me ? ”

“Yes, I love you.” You said, in a heartbeat, turning back to him and watching how his smile faded to desire.

“I love you so much.” He cupped your face, eyes softening as he pulled you closer to him, grabbing you by your hips and that was okay, He's your brother, half your soul.

“You were telling me about your gift.” You gasped a little, his whole body was pressed against you, heating up.

“I was.” He caressed you, his touch sipping through your bones, mouth clamped, you liked his mouth—soft, warm and sweet, and the way he spoke to you, like honey dripping from his to tongue, your brother, your soul.

“What is it ? ”

“Close you eyes.” He hummed, side glancing at your reflections, so perfect together.

“Okay.” you closed them, He tutted, and you stiffled the smile, finally closing them perfectly blind.

“Good Little bird.”

And your smile was claimed by him, his soft sweet mouth pressing against yours, in slow music that echoed through your body.

“Oh—” You snapped open your eyes, pulling back and touching your lips where his were just few moments ago, his warmth lingering like a tattooed kiss.

“Sister—” He started but you were already kissing him again, pulling him to you by the back of his neck and he was just a starving man.

His mouth was every bit honey that he spoke of, lovely as he was to you, his sweetness melting on your tongue and you were breathless with the way he kissed you.

“I love you.” He muttered breathlessly on the your lips, pulling you to embrace him completely and divinely.

You heard his heartbeats, the heart that grew along with you, with same womb nourishing your veins and plumbing your chambers.

“Aemond, we..we can't..” you saw no reason why you can't, perhaps if times were different it could have been Aemond waiting on the altar for you, a dream so beautiful.

“Do you want me to stop ? ” He was placing soft kisses at the side of your face, keeping his hands off the furs of your gown and instead wrapping around your waist line.

“No.”

He smiled, taking you by your shoulder and helping you sit on your bed, where he had snuggled in countless times, when he couldn't sleep, when he lost his eye and cried with the one that was left, and that one time when he came buzzing after Vhagar chose him, that night you were both looking at the ceiling as if there were stars— but then again, everything was beautiful with him.

Aemond smiled wickedly the way you were glowing crimson, a bride was usually blushing but for their husband-to-be, your hands fisted the silk sheets when his tongue started to work his magic in your mouth.

It wasn't a sin, it wasn't infidelity or cheating, Aemond and you soul were connected and for seven heaven's sake —just the same.

The way he smiled and your heart bloomed, the way he talked and you felt heard, and all those ways he completed you.

“He can never love you like me...” He tore away the fur cloak, kissing your bare skin in a wave of heat.

“Aemond—” But he was far too gone.

His hands were everywhere, grasping your throat and driving your wild with the way he nibbed at your collar bone.

“Aemond...oh dear...” You let your head bliss back into time and space, heart too heavy so you let go.

“I am marking you mine sister.” Aemond purred beside you, his breath teasing the newly purplish mark and you gasped at the angry brusie forming on your neck.

“ Oh god, oh fuck— what have you done ? ”

Aemond smiled, following your gaze in the mirror and basking in his brilliance work, his mouth curved in a smirky pout.

“Cregan can't know Aem ! ” You glared at him, north wasn't common to incest.

“So are you going to make love with him ? ” He turned back to you, almost bored, “ Is that how you love me ? ”

Your face brunt red, aching with the your lips throbbed at the swolleness, you tried to speak but no words came out.

“He'll consummate the marriage someday.” You said, tears spilling through the edges, face crumbling under the sadness of being parted with him.

“ Oh no, sweet love.” He shushed away, standing beside you and pulling your head to his chest, kissing your braided hair softly.

“I just can't see you with him...with anyone who's not me...yes I am jealous but—” His voice broke, “ I want you to know that your heart is mine sister, that your soul belongs to me and mine belongs to you.”

You sniffed as his words hanged heavy in air, his soft sweet nothings were soothing the pain that swirled in your chest.

“ You'll have to sleep with him.” He said, “there's no other choice.”

Aemond then tipped a finger under your chin, raising your face to him — He shaked his head at the tears that ran down the side of your cheek and smeared them away with the pad of his thumb.

“ But you'll have a choice to love, will you make love with me sister ? ”

A small smile broke between the grief and he kissed you down, massaging the back of your neck.

“I will give you something you can always take with you, something small and lovely.”

You looked at the glint in his eye, the same when he was about to do something awfully stupid or brave.

“And what could be better than our child my lovely sister.”

And whatever souls were made of, his and yours were just the same.

A beat, a pause — the mist cleared and you can see him and you, tangled with bodies and soul, with each other's blood and breath lingering like one soul two bodies.

“I want our child to have your eyes.” you blushed, the way Aemond smiled was worth every star.

~~~

“Do you take this man ? ” Aegon asked, you looked at Cregan, he was almost smiling in his big furry cloak and wolfish-ness.

Your eyes flickered to Aemond who was standing by Alicent — your mother was sniffing with her eyes beaming at the sight.

He was looking at you, a smile crossed his lips, a small nod that anyone would've missed but not you, you would know him anywhere.

“ Yes.”

You would take this man, again and again—over and over, after all he's half your soul as the poets said.

Navigation

[xoxoaugust]

mixtapes !

what love songs do they embody?

an: I’m pulling ts out of my bootycheeks 💔

ft. Isagi, Bachira, Rin

Isagi

ᴺᴼᵂ ᴾᴸᴬᵞᴵᴺᴳ : cold water (Justin Bieber and Major Lazer)

if you feel you’re sinking I will jump right over into cold colder water for you.

Isagi is the embodiment of pathetically and utterly in love. You’re like a shot of espresso or being bathed in sunlight. Like a breath of fresh air after being drowned for so long. He’d do anything for you without a second thought. He will always be there to support you, in the rough moments when life just seems so unfair, he is right there ready to carry the burden with you. He’d do whatever it takes in your time of need, putting your safety and comfort above his own

And although time may take us into different places I will still be patient with you.

He knows his career is demanding, he knows that at any given moment, this could fall apart. He also knows that only time will tell. The time may come where you may push him away, but he will always love you, whether you want it or not. The places that time will bring to you, no matter if he’s still in the picture, he will always be there to support you, he will always be patient when it comes to you.

And I hope you know, I won’t let go.

He swears to you on that day, down on his knee, that he’ll never let go, ever.

I'll be your lifeline tonight.

And on that fateful day, he swears he will love and cherish you in every lifetime.

Swears that he will protect you with tears welling in his eyes standing in front of you at the altar.

(IM GIGGLINGSHFUJDFBHSJ)

Bachira

ᴺᴼᵂ ᴾᴸᴬᵞᴵᴺᴳ : Just the Way You Are (Bruno Mars)

She's so beautiful, and I tell her everyday

Bachira knows what it's like to be underappreciated, laughed at, and insecure. He vowed to never let you feel that way. From the time you wake up to the time you fall asleep, you've been told that you're beautiful and smart in the most creative ways possible. Of course, growing up, his mother taught him to be artistic. One day it's a heart shaped-note, one day it's a bracelet, most days it's a cute take on a compliment or a sweet text.

Yeah, I know, I know When I compliment her, she won't believe me

And it's so, it's so Sad to think that she don't see what I see

When he tells you these things, he's never telling you a lie, or a half truth. He is utterly whipped for you and it's painfully adorable. If you're simply drinking a glass of water, or baking with flour all over your face, he thinks you're the most beautiful person he has ever seen. He will continue to do these things forever, whether you start to believe the compliments or not. He truly doesn't understand how you couldn't believe him when he says there things, have you seen yourself? Not even just outer beauty, but your soul, your laugh, your smile. He'd make a thousand jokes to see that smile everyday.

But every time she asks me, "Do I look okay?" I say, when I see your face There's not a thing that I would change 'Cause you're amazing Just the way you are

One time, when the two of you were getting dressed to go out on a casual coffee date. You put on an outfit you thought was cute in your head, but you just couldn't understand why it didn't look like what you thought it was going to in your head. You stood there with a puzzled look in front of the mirror before calling out to him. He sprinted over to you before looking you up and down with his mouth slightly agape. He giggled before lifting you up and spinning you around.

"You're so cuteeeee!" He held your face in his hands.

You wear that outfit very often now!

And when you smile The whole world stops and stares for a while.

God that smile of yours, he wants to store it his pocket wherever he goes. He'd protect you from anyone who tried to take it from you.

Rin

ᴺᴼᵂ ᴾᴸᴬᵞᴵᴺᴳ : Mine (Bazzi)

You so fuckin' precious when you smile (Haha, yeah) Hit it from the back and drive you wild (Yeah-yeah) (an: uhm woah ?) Girl, I lose myself up in those eye-eye-eye-eye-eyes (Haha) I just had to let you know you're mine (Mine)

Rin can't recall the last thing he could really consider his. Everything he did was always tied back to his brother, like his career and interests. Not until you, you were something he could cherish as his own. You were so precious to him, everything about you could render him yearning, even though you were already his. His two favorite things about you, were your smile and your eyes. He isn't the most emotionally expressive person in the world, so when he catches himself smiling and laughing, loosing his breath when he sees you smile and hears your laugh. Your eyes, don't get him started on your eyes. The eyes that hold so much kindness, so much patience, and love. He catches himself drowning in them, but he doesn't bother to even try getting back to surface. He swore to himself that he will make you smile enough to see the crinkles around your eyes.

Girl, anything I can do just to make you feel alright, uh Oh-oh-oh-oh, I just had to let you know you're fine

Again, not the best with feelings and emotions, but he tries for you. The nights after the long days at work or school, when everything seems to be spilling over, he's right by your side. He tries, the hugs, the cradling, the crown kisses. He loves you more than you could know.

Running circles 'round my mind Even when it's rainy, all you ever do is shine You on fire, you a star just like Mariah Man, this feel incredible, I'll turn you into a bride You're mine (Mine, oh-uh-oh)

Rin doesn't like the snow, or the cold. It reminds him of that god awful day he was abandoned by the person who he cared for most. Thats why he was against going out in the snow, but you insisted. He doesn't know how you do it, he really doesn't. Its a gloomy day with snow packed in every corner of the park, but it's never gloomy for him when you're there. Light and warmth radiating off of your person, contrasting the cold and dark setting around you. He can't help but just stare, you're more beautiful than anything he's ever seen. You were like a fire, and he'd burn for you. He's never felt this way, the relief, the tension of everything else lifting off of his shoulders now that he's with you, here specifically. His feelings towards snow changed, instead of feeling flushed because of anger, he feels flushed because he's smitten. Now he's walking in the cold, with snow around him, walking towards the nearest jeweler, for a ring as perfect as you.

[thomaslittlegirl]

melody. thomas shelby

thomas is despondent over the death of his daughter and finds solace in the river.

when thomas lost ruby, he also lost a big part of himself. the end of his daughter's life plunged him into deep darkness. he didn't see beyond revenge, hatred and resentment.

no matter how hard he tried, he couldn't see past his desire for revenge, his hatred and resentment.

guilt accompanied him every moment of the day; it didn't let him sleep, it didn't let him eat, it didn't let him breathe.

every time he closed his eyes he remembered his little girl. ruby looked so angelic and even smaller than she was inside that coffin.

that vision would haunt him forever, as would the contempt he felt for himself for not having been there when she left.

what kind of person he was? what kind of father? could he even call himself a father?

lizzie's looks of pain and disgust only made his grief worse. he felt as adrift as ever, he cant see the exit and he even doubts there is one.

the man always perceived himself as a strong and independent person. thomas shelby never needed anyone to stay by his side to endure life's adversities... but now he really needed something. anything, but something to silence the voice in his head that was torturing his thoughts and soul.

thomas thinks about the things he could have done differently; he thinks about how he could have spent her daughter's last moments with her, accompanying her.

thinks about the gifts that he will no longer be able to give her, thinks about the kisses that will never touch her sweet forehead again.

a silent tear falls down his cheek as he holds his head with both hands. his heart pounds and for the first time, the gypsy is afraid.

he is afraid of dying from sadness.

then he hears it, almost like a miracle: the sweet humming of a woman. the similarity of the unknown voice with that of his little ruby makes his hair stand on end.

his eyes widen, his hand instinctively goes to the gun he has resting in his coat pocket. his mind cannot recognize who the woman whispering softly is and curiosity gets the better of him.

he carefully stands up from his leather chair and begins to walk, his bare feet dragging through the hallways. the voice seems to come from outside, and although he looks out the large windows he cannot see anyone, but he hears more clearly.

thomas opens the door, determined to find the mysterious woman: the voice comes from within the forest, hidden between the trees and the purple tones of the sky. he doesn't feel scared but rather very curious.

who could be the owner of that captivating voice and why does he feel the need to hear it even more closely?

his bare feet touch the grass and he feels his skin crawl when it makes contact. the sweet humming continues as does his remarkable interest.

the gypsy walks and enters the forest, and although it is already getting dark in the middle of nature, he does not feel afraid about that, he is a shelby after all.

as he enters the heart of the forest, his heart beats loudly inside his chest. the beautiful voice feels closer and clearer, letting him know that he is about to meet the owner of the song. body moves on impulse, almost as if he were bewitched, the victim of a vile spell.

his steps slow when he reaches the river and sees her, finally meeting the owner of the beautiful humming. she is a young woman, with long dark hair; the water wraps around her body, covering her until only her neck and head are visible.

thomas is amazed by her beauty, observing her completely enthralled.

"finally." says the woman. "i've been waiting for you."

"waiting for me?" thomas asks. how could the girl know that he was going to appear? was she waiting for it? and more importantly, did she know him?

she simply smiles with her mouth closed, but the gypsy can assure that she has the most beautiful smile he has ever seen in his life.

a gust of wind blows the hair of the stranger, who does not take her eyes off thomas.

"did you like my song?" she asks, shelby nods and takes a step forward, noticing how her dark eyes shine.

"i did." he recognize. "it was... hypnotizing."

the woman finally stands up and thomas can finally notice a white dress whose wet fabric clings beautifully to her body. "it is a song for sad souls who carry an unspeakable sorrow."

thomas looks at her, feeling more and more curious about her and everything around her.

"what's your misery, blue eyes?"

shelby wants to laugh at the nickname, but smile soon fades; he remembers ruby, remembers how death took away one of the things he loved most.

"a loss." he responds carefully.

girl looks at him in a strange way, thomas can't read through her expression and that seems strange to him. the woman's eyes seem lifeless; devoid of any emotion.

she dives back into the river, letting the water hide her up to her chin.

"come into the water with me." she asks.

he looks at her in disbelief. the weak light that remains in the sky is fading little by little, the large gray clouds are present and the wind gust seems to get worse.

sky threatens to cry.

the shelby gypsy doubts his next move. he doesn't want to get into the water, but as soon as the beautiful girl starts humming again the song he is hypnotized to listen to her.

injured hands work to remove his expensive coat, throwing it on the grass.

the owner of the beautiful voice makes a sign with a hand, calling him to get into the water with her.

his body begins to follow the path of the beautiful melody, feeling the frozen water gradually begin to wet his clothes as he enters the stream.

thomas knows he lost when the woman now shows her teeth, smiling ghoulishly as she takes him to the bottom of the river, finishing her beautiful song.

[bethebesttoyou]

Hii, so there's this song by Adele called All I Ask, it's so sad but so beautiful :(

If you like the song, could you maybe write something based off of it? Although the song is just sad, it would be amazing if you could make it into a fluff ending >.<

ALL I ASK - CHOI YEONJUN

synopsis: As the clock continues to tick, you realize that pretending won't stop the inevitable from happening. Yeonjun is leaving.

pairing: Idol!Yeonjun x afab!reader

song: All I Ask - Adele ( I love sad music so much frfr)

warning: angst with fluff ending!!! suggestive writing in the end ( at least it tries to be LMAO), ummmm that's it I think. lots of crying, reader is low-key dramatic (I would also crash out personally) OH ALMOST FORGOT UNEDITED.... currently being rushed out the door so if its bad.... im sorry LMAO

Wc: 1.9k :3

A/N: anon... first let me just say THANK YOU FOR BEING MY FIRST REQUEST!!!!!! I woke up to it and honestly, it made my day!!!! Thank you a bunches!!! also... are we all just blasting Adele lately?? Are we okay?? Ive been listening to her all week, her songs heal me, even if they're sad LMAO. Anyways, All I ask is one of my favorites, so I hope I did her justice :,3. Thank you again! and I hope you enjoy!! PS I took some liberties, including the member >.< wasn't sure if you wanted one specific but I went with the member that fit the scenario the best!! OKAY ENOUGH RAMBLING!!!! >3<.

The restaurant had been buzzing with laughter and glasses clinking together as you watched Yeonjun rave about the preparations for the upcoming tour with an enthusiastic yet stressed gleam in his eyes. While he seemed tired, you can tell he loved this, he loved what he did, even when it took everything out of him. It made the bitterness and agony you felt in your stomach contort to guilt. 

The dance practices, the lack of his things around your apartment, the change of hair color, everything reminded you more and more that he was leaving. Ofcourse, you were happy for him, how could you not be? Having to witness the years and years of sacrifices he put into the team, the training, the long nights he'd spend going over dance routines to the point of ultimate exhaustion… He was finally making it big, getting his well deserved flowers. But it didn't make the leaving any easier. The guilt for the borderline selfishness and bitterness for having to share him with others was tearing you apart. Having to feel his absence everyday was going to take its toll on you, as it did everytime he departed, something that you never wanted to admit in fear of ruining these experiences for him. But these feelings were there, and hard to ignore. 

And yet, you smile widely and laugh as he tells you about Taehyun and Kai fighting in the middle of practice. It's his last day in the country, before he flies out tomorrow, and while the other members are working on packing and last minute wardrobe changes, Yeonjun was able to do all of that in advance, securing a free day for you and only you. 

The day was filled with a drive, your favorite way to spend time together, with your hand in his, him kissing your knuckles every so often, before placing them back down on your lap, catching your gaze and smiling softly. Along the countryside, Yeonjun would stop at every scenery you gasp at, letting you take in the beautiful green landscapes, snapping a picture of you before heading your way to the next one. He always knew how to keep you out of your thoughts too, his presence itself was enough for you to feel at ease, allowing you for just a day, relishing in the idea that your relationship was convenient, normal…easy. For the day, it was just you and him. Kissing him, holding him, rarely leaving any space between you unless absolutely necessary, it felt like a dream, with him it always did. But, as the clock ticked, and the servers cleaned the now empty tables around you, time was starting to feel real and fast. 

You must've gone quiet, spacing out on the plate in front of you, when you feel a hand placed over yours. 

“Don't think about it too much, ” Yeonjun says softly, his thumb caressing your palm, he smiles sadly, “the day’s not over yet.” 

You smile, “I know…You're right…okay, did I ever tell you about Ryujin at work?” You say shaking the feeling, hoping the lump on your throat can disappear. He shakes his head, smiling before eating another piece off his plate. 

—

The car ride home had been mostly silent, the pressure of the next morning finally undermining the playful mood of the day. It wasn't like you wanted the mood to sour, but it was hard to ignore the inevitable. 

Hes going to be gone for months.

Even if this wasn't your first time, each time felt like you couldn't fathom it. It felt like a pit in your stomach, the sheer thought made you fidget and shudder, worrying that this time was going to be the breaking point, for either of you. What if he realizes the idol life was easier without a relationship? What if ghosting becomes easy? What if drifting apart becomes inevitable?These overwhelming thoughts had easily filled you with despair, you hadn't noticed you were already inside the house, changing into pajamas before sitting on the bed, ready to break. It wasn't until he came from behind you, kissing your shoulder, that you can't keep it in anymore. He feels your shoulders shake and instantly wraps his arms around you, his face resting at the crook of your neck. 

“I'm sorry…” You say hiding your face in your hands as you feel the sudden tears in your eyes. “I'm trying really hard not to do this right now,” you laugh, “I just…I don't know, I'm sorry.” 

“Its okay, baby… just let it out…” You feel splotches of water hit your collarbone, and you realize he's crying too. Something about him missing you made you feel less alone in this pain. He turns you around, and you both chuckle softly as you reflect each other in puffy red eyes. He grabs your hands and leads you to lay in bed, him going down first, before pulling you on top of him. 

“I'm so sorry, Y/N. I'm really sorry.” His quavering voice breaks the silence, your head on his chest hearing his heartbeat slowly beat against your ear. You both had calmed down by now, waiting for the drowsiness to take effect. Even just moments like these, of pure comfortable silence, made you want to hold him tighter and not let go. 

“dont be…I get it…As much as I want you to stay, I would never forgive you or myself if you did.” You pick at the fabric of his shirt. 

It was true. He deserved to embark on the achievements he's made, and while you were heartbroken, there was no doubt in your mind that you would be his biggest supporter, no doubt that pride would fill your body, watching him succeed in real time. You would always cheer him on, even if he was a thousand, millions of miles away. 

“Dont get tired of waiting, please. If you start to, call me and I'll come back.” He whispers. 

“Never. That’ll never happen. I'm yours, always…” you say looking up at him, and smile, “you…dont forget about me, okay?” 

“Impossible…” he smiles back down at you and your eyes well up again. 

“Stop making me cry!” you laugh, wiping your face in his shirt. 

“You're making me cry!” 

After hours of refusing to fall asleep, you both eventually did, only to be woken up by the dreadful alarm. You watch as he grabs his bags, making him a small travel sized breakfast before leaving, moving in silence the entire time. The car ride was spent in pecks and silent knowing looks, before eventually just resting your head on his shoulder, waiting to arrive at your destination. It wasn't until getting to the airport and meeting with the rest of the guys, did you start engaging normally, trying to once again, save face and act normal. 

Once it was time to say goodbye, you gave each member a hug, giving them a list of demands: stay safe, stay healthy, make sure to eat well and rest often. Yeonjun reserved himself for last, telling them to hurry up from the back, before eventually making it in front of you, clearing his throat. Taehyun ushers the rest a couple of steps away, giving you some space. 

“Junie,” you clear yours too before continuing, “Stay safe, stay healthy, make sure to eat well and rest often…”

“And?” he whispers, water beginning to fill the lining of his brown soft eyes. 

“and…I love you.” You say before looking around, bringing his mask down and pecking him on the lips one last time, pulling it back up and smiling through a sniffle. 

“I love you” he whispers. His hug lasts longer than the rest, and the sniffles continue before you realize they're waiting for him. 

“You gotta go...” 

“Wait… just a bit longer.” he says from your neck. You don’t fight him, only holding him tighter. 

“Hey, last call…” his manager calls out, and you feel him hesitate before letting you go. 

“I love you, I'll call you once we land!” he smiles, kissing your hand one last time, before jogging turning back to only turn back and wave, the boys follow suit, and you wave back. 

It isn't when you no longer see them but a few minutes after, that you decide it's time to go home, already reminiscing on the ghosting feeling of his hands on yours. 

—--

Months later…

Youre pacing around the house, repositioning some items before returning them into their original positions. You honestly couldn't clean anymore, nor fix your dress or your hair, as you had done so already a billion times. Dinner was definitely done, as you kept thinking of sides to add to the table, you basically overdid it. Yeonjun was coming home, on his way from the airport to be exact, and you didn't know how to act. You felt the nerves all over your body, preventing you from just staying still. To say you were excited and scared was an understatement. Your job and school had stopped you from visiting him, resulting in you both relying on facetime and texting. Time and time again, you would grow wary when Yeonjun would leave, believing things would change, you would disappear, only for him to prove you entirely wrong. He had texted or called or updated almost every single day, sent gifts to the house regularly, left notes hidden around the house for you to find, anything that he could have possibly done to keep you from feeling lonely he did. You , ofcourse, met him halfway, leaving voicemails every morning before heading to work, reminding him to rest, sending him updates on loved ones, things you believed he might have missed from home. Your relationship only flourished, making you realize just how strong it actually was. It always was. 

But nothing can beat the feeling of love face to face. You realize that now, as you sit on the armrest of the couch in urgency, waiting for that doorknob to even remotely jiggle. 

When it does, you're already opening it, and he's standing there, key in his hand, in sunglasses and smiling widely. 

“Well, hello…” he laughs and stands in shock. 

“Oh my god…” You say, before practically jumping on him, and he drops his bags, catching you, his hands causing waves of shock from the back of your thighs to the rest of your body. 

“Oh, Baby…” he whispers into your ear, “I missed you so much.” He's walking in, not really caring about the bags he's left outside, nor the fact that the boys probably laughed when they saw you pounce on him. 

“I missed you…I missed you. I can't believe you’re back.” 

He sets you down on top of the couch's backrest, before grabbing either side of your head with his hands. 

“You look absolutely beautiful.” he says leaning in for a kiss, slightly chuckling at how needy you responded to it. His lips go from being softly placed on yours before he deepens the kiss, small gasps coming out of both of you. The kiss lasts for a while, his sunglasses now discarded on the couch, his hands running against your thighs, only getting higher. After breaking for air, his glazed eyes makes you aware exactly what hes thinking of. 

“I made dinner…” you say looking up at him, and as he pulls a strand of your hair behind your ear. 

“I think dinner can wait, yeah?” 

“Yeah…”

A/N: YOU MADE IT!!! pat yourself on the back!!!! SOOOOO.... what did we think??? My first request so it might be different from when I gain inspiration from a song that I drill into my head from obsession!!! As always let me know if you loved it, hate it, dreamed it before and you're experiencing some weird dejavu.... would love to hear about that... Thank you for reading!! and Ill see you guys later :3

ps. if you're still reading, doubt you are, but I will be starting classes soon so I might be a lil slow, but considering this has become my new hyperfixation, I don't think ill be gone for too long in between fics >.<

[cherryblossomcowgirl]

Sun To Me part 2

WC: 1.5k

Warnings: Mention of spousal death; Fluff; angst; anxiety

TAGS: @findthebeautyinbreakdowns

.

.

When we get home, I lay AJ down for his nap and try to tidy the house. I decide it is good enough and I hop in the shower. After, I stare at my closet for what feels like forever. Why do I care what I wear? Oh yeah, I know, it’s because Jake Seresin is super handsome and going to be at my house. The feeling of guilt rises again. I don’t know what to do, so I call Bradley.

.

“Hey Y/n!” I word vomit, “AJ invited Jake over to watch a movie with us and I had to clean and I took a shower and now I don’t know what to wear and I also am scared and what if Archer is mad at me.” Bradley takes a deep breath, “Y/n, why would Archer be mad at you?” A lump forms in my throat, “Because I am thinking about someone that isn’t him.” I can hear the sadness in his voice, “Archie is gone. He isn’t coming back. The Archie I knew? He wouldn’t want you to be miserable.” I don’t have any words for Bradley, just tears. He clears his throat, “Is Jake good with AJ?” “He spent the morning building sand castles with him… and now he’s going to spend his Saturday night watching a Disney movie.” “Well, I think Archie would really appreciate that.” I sigh, “Yeah. He would.” Bradley sighs, “Go get dressed and have fun. Cuddle AJ for me.” “Thank you, Roo.”

.

I throw on clean sweatpants and my OU sweater. AJ wakes up from his nap, immediately asking for Jake.

.

.

There is a knock on the door and AJ runs over. “You’re here!” Jake leans down, “Yes sir. I brought y’all some goodies.” AJ scans the bag and nods, “Good job.” Jake laughs and sets the bag on the counter. I smile, “I made pizzas, they’ll be done in a few minutes.” AJ pulls on Jake’s pant leg, “Do you want to see my room?” “Of course!” I pull the pizzas out of the oven and slice them up. When I head down the hallway, I hear AJ talking. I stand just outside the door so he can’t see me. “This one is Teddy. He would fly with Daddy and take pictures everywhere he went.” Jake smiles, “Wow, so Teddy is a world traveler?” AJ nods, “But now he just stays with me and Mommy.” AJ looks down at the bear and my heart aches. Jake leans in, “Hey bud, let’s go get some pizza and then you can eat all the candy you want… deal?” A grin spreads across AJ’s face, “Yeah!” I head back into the kitchen and make plates. We sit at the island and AJ doesn’t hesitate to scarf down his pizza. I look at Jake, “I’m sorry about his table manners. They go right out the window when it comes to pizza.” Jake chuckles, “It is delicious, so I understand. How are you liking your work here?” “It is great. Back in Washington, I was always sitting at a desk. This is a nice change of pace.” I look around and face palm, “I forgot to ask, would you like some wine?” “Sure.” I open a bottle of red, hoping Jake doesn’t feel the nerves radiating off of me. I hand him a glass and he smiles at me, “Cheers.”

.

.

Beauty and the Beast ends, and we look down at AJ. His head is resting in Jake’s lap and he is surrounded by candy and popcorn. I scoop him up and Jake pats his head, “Goodnight little buddy.” Looking up, I clear my throat, “I’m gonna lay him down… If you want to stay we could watch something made for adults and have another glass of wine?” Jake’s smile lights up my dark living room, “I’d like that.” Heat spreads across my face, “Okay… I’ll be right back.” After I tuck AJ in, I stand there for a moment. Tonight has been amazing. AJ seems so comfortable with Jake. I try my best to push down my nerves before I walk back into the living room.

.

.

Jake is standing by my record player, looking through my vinyls. He raises an eyebrow, “You have quite the collection.” I glance at the countless rows, “I started collecting a few months ago. AJ loves going to secondhand shops with me to find them.” I pour us some more wine. He pulls out American Heartbreak and sets the needle to “Sun To Me”. The same song that played last night. His hand reaches out. I set down my wine and he pulls me in. My hand rests on his chest as his settles on my waist. His scent calms me. His touch soothes me. We sway back and forth. He is whisper singing along as I hum. In a moment of vulnerability, I rest my head on his chest. His lips brush the top of my head. I close my eyes as a fluttering feeling rises in my chest. Part of me waits for the guilt to rise, but it doesn’t. What Bradley said earlier really opened my eyes. And right here in this moment, I feel happier than I have in a long time. The song ends and Jake plants a kiss on the top of my head, “I love that song.” I look up at him, “Me too.”

.

.

I sit on the couch, he joins me after putting on an old country record. After a sip of wine I work up to courage to ask Jake about himself, “So, where are you from?” “Texas. What about you?” “Oklahoma, but before here we were in Washington.” He chuckles, “I was wondering about that sweatshirt… but I’ll let it slide.” I gasp, “You’re a Longhorn?” He nods and I shake my head, “Jake, that makes us mortal enemies.” His smirk makes a warmth spread throughout my body, “Well darling, maybe we can call a truce.” I tap my chin, “Maybe, but AJ is a diehard fan. He loves going to games.” Jake thinks for a second, “I’m thinking he just hasn’t seen the beauty that is a UT game. Once he goes to one he’ll convert.” I playfully grab my chest, “He’d be breaking his Momma’s heart.” Curiosity flashes across his face, “Do you have any siblings?” I shake my head, “Just me. Parents are older and never leave the farm. Do you?” He smiles so big, “Two sisters. My whole family is still in Austin.” I look down at my wine, “I always pictured AJ having siblings. Growing up was pretty lonely, I was so jealous of my friends that had brothers and sisters.” His green eyes glaze over with sadness, “I’m sorry. I’m sure none of this is what you had planned.” I sip my wine and shrug, “It’s okay. It’s one thing you know can happen when you marry the military. Everyone just prays that it isn’t them. I feel the worst for AJ… he didn’t sign up for it.” There’s a moment of silence. Jake clears his throat, “AJ is a great kid. He’s lucky to have a Mom like you.” A lump forms in my throat. I smile softly, “Thank you, Jake. Having Maverick and Rooster close is going to be good for him.” Jake laughs, “I mean, Rooster put a car seat in the Bronco! I never thought I’d see the day.” We sit there, giggling and sipping wine. It feels so nice. When we talk, he is giving 100% of his attention to our conversation. He is holding onto every word I say like it’s the most important thing he’s ever heard. I notice that his eyes light up when he’s talking about his family and home. I love seeing the corner of his eyes crinkle when he smiles. “Thank you for coming over. AJ was so excited. You really didn’t have to do all this.” Jake shrugs, “I know I didn’t have to… I wanted to. AJ is great. His Mom is pretty great too.” My cheeks are hot and I look down at my hands. My throat feels dry and I can’t find any words. Finally I look up at him, “This is the first time I have felt seen in a while.” His green eyes pierce mine, “I see you, Y/n. I can’t seem to think about anything but you since last night.” My voice is low, “Really?” He nods and leans in closer. We are just a breath away from each other. His voice is barely a whisper, “Is this okay?” The warmth is building all throughout my body. I nod. He grins and closes the space between us. His lips meet mine. They are warm and soft. The kiss is gentle and sweet. There’s a spark there that I never thought I’d feel again. Flutters touch my heart. When we pull apart, Jake looks just as breathless as me. I lean into him and he drapes an arm around my shoulders. Silence surrounds us, somehow it is comfortable and exciting.

[hoes4hoseok]

mehndi laga ke rakhna

heeseung looks for his name in your henna the night before your wedding.

pairing :: lee heeseung x gn!reader genres/au’s :: fluff warnings :: brief food talk word count :: 0.5k author’s note :: i don't care how this performs (at least i'm telling myself that) because this fic is completely self-indulgent. no one asked for this. i hope my fellow desis and everyone else who chooses to read this enjoy this nevertheless. this is so embarrassing omg DON'T LOOK AT ME. also, jaanu means dear in urdu/hindi and i used it because i'm feeling delusional. beta readers :: @sunoosill but she might have been too busy laughing at me to actually edit it LOL I APPRECIATE YOU THO <3 soundtrack :: kesariya (honestly i was listening to o re piya while writing but that song makes me sad so here)

“oh, you look beautiful,” heeseung declared from the couch, his right hand on his heart as you rounded the corner into your warmly lit living room, “do a little twirl.”

“i’m wearing pajamas, heeseung,” you protested but lifted the ends of your pajamas to spin for your fiancé with a bashful grin. 

“how long did this take?” heeseung’s eyes widened as you approached, surprised by the level of detail in your mehndi.

“five or six hours. she had to cover my feet, too,”

“five or s—” heeseung’s mouth fell agape, “i hope you got to eat and drink water.”

“i did, don’t worry,” you laughed off his comment, recalling how frantic your friends and family were to ensure you were doing just that, “and…i have a little surprise for you.”

heeseung tilted his head in curiosity, gaze fixed on you as you joined him on the sofa. “and what would that be?”

“do you remember that tradition i told you about? the one that—”

“you wrote my name in there?” a toothy smile started to form on heeseung’s lips as he gently pulled your right hand toward his face.

“just your first name,” you smiled, combing the hair that had fallen into heeseung’s face in his excitement back with your free hand. he remained focused on your hand as he used his pointer finger to follow a spiral from the center of your palm outward.

“this will be so easy,”

“if you think it’s so easy, maybe we should add some stakes,” you suggested. you tried to sound like you had just come up with this idea, but your delivery revealed that you had thought about it much beforehand. he looked up with a cocked eyebrow, always in the mood for a challenge. “if you don’t find your name in the next three minutes, i win — in which case, i get to write my name on you too. in the same spot.”

“okay, deal,” he said softly, smiling to himself as he set a timer before looking back down at your mehndi. your heart swelled with affection as he moved his touch along your forearm to check there, grazing each square inch with his soft fingers. he met your eyes momentarily, shaking his head as if to say “not on this one.”

picking up your left hand, he repeated the process, starting from the center of your palm and working outward. he paused briefly midway through tracing your fingers but continued, biting his bottom lip to conceal a grin.

“you have a terrible poker face, jaanu,” he pretended not to hear you, so you wiggled your fingers to get his attention. “i know you found it.”

“you’re so sentimental that i knew exactly where it was going to be,” heeseung admitted, curling your left index and middle fingers forward to reveal, among the scallops of the design, ‘HEESEUNG’ written along the length of your ring finger. “but i knew you wanted to write your name on my hand.”

“oh, who’s the sentimental one now, hm?” you rolled your eyes, giving a playful push to his shoulder.

heeseung reached behind himself to reveal a mehndi cone, a proud smirk on his face, “might be me,” he handed you the cone and put his left hand in yours.

“it’s definitely you,” you leaned forward, pressing a small kiss onto the corner of his grin.

masterlist

[seirei-bh]

Syl and Kaladin beautiful moments in WaT

I wanted to write this post to add some positivity about syladin here, as it makes me sad that the tag is full of antis, negative comments, and insults towards that ship so it seems shippers can't enjoy anything. BUT there are so many beautiful Syl and Kaladin moments in WaT, so sweet, funny, and wholesome, that I couldn't help but end up shipping them because of them and I wanted to highlight them here! Of course, you can see these moments as friendly platonic ones too; personally the way I prefer to describe them is not friends or lover, but soulmates, but hey this is a shipping post so we're here to enjoy! Oh, and if you're also a fan of Syl as character, I wrote a post about her as well! you can read it here. ^^

Kaladin and Syl's dance scene. It's been talked about a lot already, and rightly so, it's beautiful! A genuine moment where Kaladin and Syl are finally completely happy and carefree, where Kaladin finally allows himself to enjoy life, music, and each other's company. That "I deserve to be happy" from Kaladin warmed my heart. And both smiling at the end.

Syl calling Kaladin "Adorable."

Kaladin remembering the time Syl defended him from the deathspren in WoK, remembering her as “A beautiful woman” fighting with a sword.

Kaladin thinking that Syl looks like his ex-girlfriend Lyn when she puts her hair up, and also remembering his ex-girlfriend Tarah right before dancing with Syl just to compare now he feels much better about dancing with someone without feeling ashamed of not knowing how to dance correctly (*most of the times Kaladin remembered Tarah in WoR and OB was when he was around Shallan thinking romantically about her. What a coincidence~)

Syl and Kaladin healing together and learning to live for themselves and not just for others, talking about it in a sincere and healthy way. In general growing up during their journey. She becoming more independent, her own person, and confident. Kaladin feeling happier, confident, being nicer and moving away from dark thoughts. The two of them healing together, understanding each other more than anyone else and supporting each other on their journeys

This scene where Syl helps Szeth and Kaladin congratulates and praises her telling her that she's brilliant and amazing: (ch 72)

All the moments when Syl holds Kal's hand and rests her head on his shoulder.

When Kaladin is playing the flute and Syl is lying on the grass next to him, both of them looking up at the stars. Enjoying the view, the music and her company. And she praising his song.

The moments where she tenderly and mischievously teases him, like a certain chull joke in the library and Syl asking him “Do you want to see it?” while he refuses and thinks about how he would blush seeing her naked.

Kaladin wondering what Syl is thinking when he sees her mischievous look and smile and telling her that he's curious about the excited way she always sees the world and makes him wonder what's interesting about even the smallest details.

Kaladin smiling when he sees Syl's smile and describing it as “a smile made of pure light”

Kaladin immediately trusting Syl when she warns him that Szeth is in danger and her thinking how good she feels when Kaladin trusts her so completely and without hesitation.

Syl as Kaladin's scribe and reading for him, as is usually the role of alethi wives with their husbands. And also being scribe and writing a diary because she enjoys writing and reading for herself, which is very healthy.

Kaladin thinking and almost shyly saying that Syl is perfect and her accepting and loving his flaws:

Syl touching Kaladin's face when his eyes turn dark brown again, both creating the Honor spear together and going together to a meadow in the mental dream in Braize when the heralds disappear from Roshar.

Syl being named Queen of the sprens and StormMother, and Kaladin being named King of the heralds and now turned into a cognitive shadow. Which makes them both now equal in positions, both immortal and also more similar in body and soul.

And finally, about the ship in general: they're the "grumpy x sunshine", "soulmates" and "friend to lovers" tropes. Which is very cute.

[itwasntimethatdidit40]

Poison and Wine.

Pairing/Au: Javier Peña x f!reader

Words count: 1387

Rating: +18, NSFW

Warnings/Tags: pov second person, angst, smut, reader is described having breast and vagina, no other description of her is given (pic does not represent reader's appearance in any way, it is only aesthetic), oral (f receiving), unprotected p in v (please use protections irl), sad thoughts, yearning, unspoken love.

A/N: Another fic I wrote a year ago, revised a year later. English is not my first language and I have no beta. I hope there are no mistakes but if there are, please excuse me. Writing Javier is not easy for me, I don't know why, but I tried.

It's inspired by the song Poison & Wine by The Civil Wars. I recommend listening to it for maximum effect. Hope you enjoy, thanks for your time!

Archive tags: @pedrostories ♥️

You are in a small room. The moonlight comes in through the window, spreading across the floor in silvery streaks, leaving the rest of the room in semi-darkness. There is a bed in the center of the room, two nightstands on either side, a wooden chair in the corner with clothes haphazardly draped over it. Old curtains frame the sides of the window. The bed is covered with a red bedspread and cheap white sheets. The entire room smells of sex, cigarettes, and cheap deodorant.

On the wall opposite the bed is a small door that leads to a small, rather squalid bathroom. There is a man on the bed. He is lying on his back, his head resting on the pillow. He has short, thick, wavy raven hair, some tufts falling onto his high forehead. His eyes are closed, a strong, harmonious nose that blends perfectly with the rest of his face, shaved cheeks, pronounced cheekbones, full lips. The lower lip is slightly thicker than the upper one, covered by a pair of short, black, well-groomed moustaches, they’re parted, set in a sort of pout.

Neck relaxed, shoulders broad, arms stretched out at his sides, softly resting, hands open on the sheets. Regular breaths rise and fall on his chest, adorned with two small dark pink nipples, deliciously divided by the line of his sternum. His torso is almost completely hairless, except for a thin strip of hair that disappears into his black boxers. One of his legs is wrapped in the covers while the other is spread and the foot almost off the edge of the bed.

Your back rests on the pillow, which you have placed against the wooden headboard of the bed.

You've been watching him sleep for a while, he seems less worried in his sleep, less agitated by the urgency of not wasting time, of achieving the results he has set himself. There is always a tension in him, a restlessness that vibrates in his body. He is incredibly beautiful, you will never get used to how perfectly designed he is to make you lose your mind.

You are just a diversion, someone who calls to clear his mind, to chase away the horror he has to face every day. He never talks about his job but you are perfectly aware of what happens out there, you have seen it with your own eyes for as long as you can remember, you have lived here your whole life. The drugs, the corruption, the murders, the attacks, the bombs, have always been the backdrop to your life.

Most cops are corrupt, violent, double-crossing, you're used to not trusting them. There are few people who really try to do something good, like him. He was immediately kind and discreet, even if a certain cold detachment always remains.

You know he would never take advantage of you in a mean way. But you also know how he always sneaks out the door before dawn, making no promises, barely saying goodbye. You never know when he will call you again.

He takes what he needs and you are so eager to give it to him and he disappears like a ghost. Present in the moment, fleeting the next.

You know he asks you to meet him at these out-of-the-way motels because he’s afraid someone might follow you. You know it’s a way of protecting you as well as himself. But you can’t help but feel like you’re something small in his life, something not worth bringing into the light of day.

And you know you're already in awe, eager to have him, to taste him and feel his skin and his scent.

He smells like leather, cigarettes and tequila, with a fresh underlay of soap and men’s cologne.

You’re naked next to him, a heat still radiates from your lower abdomen and rises in your stomach.

You lie down on the bed, sighing, accompanying the pillow with your hands to slide it under your head.

Eyes on the ceiling, you’re trying to channel your emotions, without letting them crawl out of you.

You can make do with this. You can wait for him to wake up and you can tolerate him quickly picking up his clothes and leaving after a quick kiss on the lips. What he gave you before can be enough.

His hands running down your body.

Hands that can heal and can burn.

His lips in the crook of your neck, nibbling at the soft skin under your ear.

He pushed you, caging you between his body and the door, kissing you without saying a word. Flesh and teeth colliding.

He raised your arms above your head and his mouth trailed down your neck and chest, his mustache scratching you a little, his breath brushing your skin.

His impatient touch undressed you, his feverish fingers running down your tummy, lingering for a moment on the hem of your panties and then making room for them to look for your clit, drawing circles, making you vibrate.

He made you lie down on the bed, then took off his clothes and threw them on the chair.

He threw himself on you urgently, kissing your soft naked skin beneath him. He moved down between your legs to take care of your privates. His tongue was relentless, hungry, insistent as two fingers continued to rub your clit and his other hand was open on your hip. Your fingers were buried in his hair, your moans filling the silence along with his grunts of approval as he felt you tremble and melt for him.

His lips moved up to you, determined not to leave aside even an inch of your skin. You felt him everywhere on your body and you didn't care about anything else. He pulled you against him, wrapped one big, strong arm around your waist. Your breasts pressed against his chest, his cock poking at your entrance, stretching you an inch at the time, sinking into your warm, soaked cunt.

He moved slowly at first to let you get used to it, then harder, deeper. You felt his mouth widen into a smile on your skin as you repeated his name like a prayer.

Javier.

Javier.

Javier.

He held you tight to feel as much of you as he could, hammering your softest spot over and over again. He whispered in your ear, his voice deep, raspy, bouncing in your chest, in your brain, driving you crazy.

His jaw went slack, his eyes darker and full of lust as he came inside you, making you feel like you were one, painting your walls with his cum.

He didn't stop until he felt your pussy twitch and tighten around his cock, your head thrown back, your eyes closed, your mouth agape.

No one has ever made you feel this way, insatiable, overwhelmed by the need to have him more and more.

You are lost.

Empty.

You can't admit it.

You can't face it.

There is nothing you would like more than to feel important to him, someone who gives him peace of mind, someone who can always be by his side.

You know it will never happen but you can't stop wishing it would.

He wakes up. You look away, so as not to let him know that you were doing nothing but looking at him, in the vain hope of at least satiating your gaze, without success.

Javier.

He turns to you, strokes your arm and then sits on the bed, stretching.

He lights a cigarette, completely unaware of the battle raging inside you. He seems calm, relaxed, takes a drag and tosses the ash into the ashtray on the nightstand.

You want to shake him by the shoulders, tell him how hard it is every time you see him go, how painful it is. You want to ask him if he knows how he makes you feel. You do nothing, you just sit there, wrapped in the blankets, inhaling the sweet smell of his sweaty skin.

You smile weakly at him as he gets up, puts out his cigarette, gets dressed, gives you a quick kiss, and walks out the door.

Without saying anything, without promising anything, as usual.

I don’t love you, but I always will.