#head hurting nose sneezing eyes itching and im not doing works im supposed to do at 2:30 in the morning but all is fine ig

[thekhoei]

i just realized that john is the only one i put as a human, while other 3 were varies as natural inherent characters sort of. it doesnt mean the other 3 are less human than john bc i didnt put any meaning like that on the writing, but rather the way i view him. this is more like sharing my perspective of each members of the beatles, but the special episode belongs to john as he is an interesting charismatic almost impenetrable mindset serpentine behavior deceitful craft bewildering inmost spirit and soul to me (i honestly do not know if the terms and the concepts of spirit and soul are distinguish or not.) i also put many big words as partly english is my second language and i dont fully understand all those words, partly i try to find any words that can virtually touch on the way i see him, and partly is because i dont think any word are enough to help me describe him, or im just not good at english. i mean john is a thought provoking case study for me i didnt not think of him that much just to write this long ass paragraph. i personally have a lot of specific feelings towards him that i havent shared.

anyway. pretty sum up how passionate if not obsessed i am about this dead man that is years older than my grandparents. i hate how this fandom is what im most enthusiast in. now we go onto the real subject. i have seen so many interpretations (now im questioning if im using the right word or not) of each member of the beatles/objects that you guys tagged them with, and i cannot say im not enjoying it. to see many perspectives of one through many lens of experience. thats what making me sharing this vision of mine. i havent changed a slightly bit of the way i see them in the previous post, but id love to grow it like a seed to a tree. i still havent got any idea to explain it properly because its a vague piece of mind in my head rn but i will give it a try. tbh i feel like john is the most human among them all. and again it isnt like the others are less human than him. we always have an image of an approachable down to earth ringo, a merely one and only george harrison who is, to an asian, very much easy to get a grip on his spiritualism bc most of us follow that belief, even though i am sort of like agnostic. or paul. he shows us many sides of him that like, idk how to put it into words, but the kind of "pr man" like him isnt that hard to understand him/view him similar/close to us. its not like who is more complicated competition but, we all can agree john is the one who was misunderstood the most. even now i still see bullshit hot takes about a dead man from 44 years ago that isnt like already wellknown among the fans. and that is what make him the most human. i feel like i can touch his soul idk maybe im just delusional. the behavior, the thinking, the way he showed off, everything is purely instinctive and full of sentience that people like us who have been learning of how to control our behavior and act with common sense, self awareness and cognitive thinking would find it strange abnormal unusual. and we cant deny that some of us can admit to find it embarrassing to be so different, yet so close to the root of human. during the late half of his life before the death's knock on his door, we usually see a john lennon without self-control, a john lennon with crazy mind, head is always in the clouds and high on drugs. until now some if not so many people still hold that kind of grudge and hatred towards him that they did not bother to understand him. like its fine im not asking you to but life would be more gentle if one actually use love to know a person so 🤷 anw that is what makes me see johnny as an astronaut, yearning to understand the others and himself, and desiring to be acknowledged his depth inside by the universe. i love how he said yoko is like him but an opposite gender. its already tell how much he wanted to be understood. his previous relationships tell that also. even cynthia knows. he is just floating around without self-control, a real nowhere man. im not the only one who point this out. to see john as an astronaut, who lost him ship due to an explode, knowing hes only got a few time remaining alive yet he would just thrive not knowing where to go instinctively, is the closest i could get. he alone the only human in-between the complex of his friends, who still get us to explore about their depth of soul after like 60 years until their deathbeds. he tryna learn about that enormous nature around him, yet he knows he cant touch the end, and he didnt even know what to do. now idk what point am i getting to lmao.

like everyone else if i get a chance i would hug him the tightest hug, i would let him know how much i love him, i would take care of him and do everything to make him feel loved. but if not for what happened, would we still have today? i wouldnt know

man idk what get me into yapping this much perhaps migraine or sort of i hate myself sometiems yknow. pardon my grammar mistae bc i didnt check i just write what im thinking now im sleep like john in that one pic mimimimimi

my interpretation of beatles and the concept of universe: while paul and geo is the sun and the moon, john to me is an astronaut who is floating in the universe. he feels the apocalypse of his life has come near, yet he doesn't care that much. he only wants to explore the emptiness of a rich of so many void. he is lonely, but at the same time he feels the warm of that loneliness in that vast field of stars and he suddenly doesnt feel alone anymore. while starr is literally named starr, he should be a star right? but to me he is the ocean. the last piece of the band who gets along the same line with the other, like how similar is the sea to the universe. we all know the universe is so infinite and mysterious. while whenever thinking of going to the beach, to the seaside, swimming in the ocean, we only think about fun. like how starr is potrayed as the band's clown and all. but the sea also have its depth and enigmatic charisma, and human also yearn to learn about the darkness inside that big void like how they want to touch the moon. starr is that little starfish who dreams to belong to the sky, and at the end he is. john wants to be the sun, but he is just a nowhere man. paul desires to follow the sun, he is the fool on the hill yearning to be one. "the quiet beatles" the shining moon with soulful notions. and the fresh wave in a summer day and night, the one and only star (no pun intended lmao 😔)

[prompt-master]

What Asshole Invented Allergies?

@cup-of-blue: Random fic prompt idea thing cuz the allergies are striking at half past 10 in the evening: Michael is having the allergies and doing the suffering, and he’s chill with it, it’s just an annoyance. Until he runs out of tissues and freaks out cuz he can barely breathe now cuz too much snot help

@orderly-opaline: Ok, I know this is dumb but think about it. As a follow up to the fic where Michael has hayfever, what if Michael went to school and was ACTUALLY CRYING. Jeremy just assumed that he had allergies so he went on like normal. And Michaels just like, wait does he not see that im crying?? Does he not care about me??? I know its dumb but like, IDK man I just like the idea?

Not dumb at all lovely! Hope you two don’t mind i combined your fics! Let’s mcfucking torture some kiddos

Michael woke up that morning already knowing he was in for a miserable day. His alarm felt louder than usual, each ring banging down doors against his sensitive ears. When Michael turned it off and went to take a deep breath he found that one of his nostrils was blocked and he could barely breath through the other. Great, nothing like being a mouth breather. Michael had a pretty bad case of hayfever last Friday and figured the weekend would be plenty of time to rest. But judging by the itching on his nose had to stop to scratch every five seconds and the dripping of his nose he had to keep inhaling he’d say he might be even worse off. Fuck spring, honestly.

Michael was so miserable in fact that he didn’t have time to take allergy medicine seeing as how he slugishly moved around the house. That’s how he ended up shoving a bunch of tissue packets into his pockets and driving to school. In the parking lot Michael had to stop to blow agressivly into a tissue, groaning at how it didn’t clear his sinuses at all. He leaned back against the headrest of his car and stared into the mirror. He looked like shit. His hair was all down from a lack of gel, he ran his fingers through the locks only to have them flop back down. His nose was bright red, he stopped to scratch at it again and miserably sniffle. Briefly he looked away from his exhausted and miserable expression to glance up at the school entrance. Students were starting to pile in and talk to each other, and Michael wasn’t so sure he wanted to be seen. He felt a tickle of his nose and mentally groaned, he already knew what was happening before he began to take in two shaky breaths.

“Ah..ah, achuu! Ah….achuu!! Ugnh…” Michael groaned and furiously wiped the back of his sleeve against his nose, getting out of the car as he saw Jeremy’s bus pull in.

Jeremy walked down as Michael locked his car, and almost instantly spotted the red hoodie. When Michael turned the tall ass was looking down at him with that cute nervous lopsided smile. “Hey Michael- woah dude you look like shit”

Michael sighed, his back slouching more than usual. He let out a long exaggerated sniff in a last attempt to breath normally, “wow, thanks.”

Jeremy laughed and patted Michael’s shoulder. His hand seemed to hesitate. It was a small subtle detail, but both of them noticed. Jeremy instantly felt compelled to say ‘no homo’. But instead he said, “so what’s wrong?”

“Still allergies.”

“Still? Spring is not your season, Michael Mell”

“Yeah no shit- ah…achuu!” Michael buried his face into his sleeve, stumbling towards the entrance.

Jeremy held the door open for him, neither of them mentioned how it was usually the other way around, “bless you”

Michael sniffled, pulling out a tissue and blowing his nose, he cringed at how stuffy his voice sounded “thanks..”

First period Michael realized just how ineffective blowing his nose was when he was this badly stuffed. His breathing was loud and obnoxious, each inhale rattling as his nose struggled to make room for air to actually pass through. He felt himself blush as people turned to stare at him, the room was quiet and all you could hear was Michael breathing and sneezing. It was even worse when a test was passed out. He sniffled over and over again, his irritated nose kept dripping and every time he blew it loudly over the trash can it felt like he had an endless supply of snot. To make matters worse whenever he got up to blow his nose it felt like a giant spot like was on his, showing every annoyed teen in the room who to be mad at. It was an endless cycle of sneezing misery. Whenever he’d sit down after blowing his nose he’d have all of a minute before he couldn’t breath quietly again.

And Rich, oh god Rich. Rich had the lovely honor of being Michael’s only friend in the class. He decided to sit next to him because, you know that’s what friends do. And for the first time since they’d become friends he was starting to regret it. Rich liked to think that he was a fairly patient person, but that was a load of shit and right now Michael’s constant sniffling was really testing him. He tried to focus on a question about Israel, but Michael let out an especially loud sniffle, followed by a miserable grunt. Rich slammed his pencil down in annoyance and glared to his side, but his expression instantly softened when he saw the state Michael was in.

Michael lifted his head at the sound, albeit a bit delayed, and his teary red eyes stared at Rich. Instead of talking he gave a sniffle and a raised eyebrow. Rich frowned, his eyes glanced around the room for a moment before deeming it safe. He wrote a little note down on the edge of his test then kicked Michael from under his desk.

'U good?’

Michael sighed through his mouth, mostly because he couldn’t through his nose. He gave Rich a small nod, pushing his glasses up and going back to his test.

It didn’t go unnoticed how Rich mumbled “yeah well you look like shit” under his breath.

Michael had never felt more embarrassed in his life. Every class he disrupted and annoyed people. During third period he was told to walk in the fucking hallway. At one point he had sneezed so badly that snot shot right out in the middle of talking to a lab partner. He had to cover his nose for a tissue but she was clearly grossed out. He liked to think he wasn’t much of an annoyed guy, that he could handle these situations well. But he felt so miserably and all the sniffling hurt his head and his nose was itching and man he just wanted a nap. He reached into his pocket, and oh no. Only one tissue left. Fuck his life, seriously.

He made his way to the usual lunch table all too grateful when he saw Jeremy wasn’t there. He sat down, mentally willing the squad to not show up. But low and behold, that only worked on Jeremy.

Rich slammed his backpack down next to Michael and scanned his face. Michael grew uncomfortable under his intense gaze, and curled up under it. He tried to ignore it, but Rich was relentless, as if he planned to stare until Michael said hi.

And then Michael sneezed, three times. He groaned and used up his last tissues, knowing fully well he was fucked now. He could probably ask a teacher for some but let’s be honest he’d rather die then have unneeded social interaction.

“You look even shitter than earlier.” Rich so elegantly pointed out.

Michael turned to face Rich, giving him a grunt as a reply. He scratched at his nose yet again, “allergies”

“Dude. Go to the fucking nurse. Christ.”

“I’m fine.”

“You’re a fucking mess.”

“Who’s a mess bro?” Jake’s voice came from behind Rich, “if you’re talking about Stephanie then I agree, did you see what she twee-”

Jake stopped when looked over Rich to see Michael. Michael hated the instant look of concern that Jake, it almost made him wish he sat at a different table.

“Hey, Michael, bro, you alright? You look kinda-”

“It’s just allergies. Seriously guys can’t I just- achuu! Can’t I just chill out and eat my lunch?”

Rich propped his head up on his elbow, still watching over Michael, “Not if you get snot all over the table.”

“Oh my gosh Michael! Your face is so red and so are your eyes! Are you ok?” It was a lot harder for Michael to be annoyed when Christine came over, her face instantly became worried. She searched through her purse on hopes to have some zertec on her or something.

But still, all the worried faces on him were overwhelming and embarrassing.

Brooke and Chloe were walking over with their lunch trays. At first it seemed like they wouldn’t notice until Chloe made eye contact with him, cutting Brooke off mid-sentence.

“Woah. What bus ran you over?”

“Michael! You look so sick maybe you should go to the nurse…” Brooke pouted her bottom lip out, something she only did in worry.

“Guys seriously I’m- achuu! Achuu!!” Michael rubbed his nose off on his sleeve, groaning as his nose felt blocked enough to be painful.

There was a chorus of bless yous, and Christine’s hand rubbed his back soothingly. Michael sighed and lowered his head, face burning in embarrassment at all the sudden attention. He sniffled again.

“You should blow your nose, Mikey.” Brooke’s gentle voice spoke up, her hand touching his gentle.

He just shook his head, he hated the way his ears seemed to echo strangely at noise. Maybe not echo…maybe throb is the right word? Like a throb of fuzz that pounded against his ear at noise, obnoxious and nearly indescribable. His skin felt as though it were crawling and he felt everything from Brooke’s hand to her ring to the loose string inside his hoodie. Michael sighed and leaned his head down on the table.

“Just leave me here to die.”

They all exchanged worried looks, and Michael couldn’t ignore the more subtle hovering they did over the remainder of lunch.

Later on it was the end of the day and Michael had never regretted skipping out on his medicine more. He thought he was going to die. He was supposed to meet up with Jeremy at his locker but all he could think about was how there was too much going on at once and how fucking miserable he felt. He had no more tissues so his nose kept dripping grossly and he had no choice but to rub it off on his sleeve and breath through his mouth. That alone sent his mind into a uncomfortable spiral. It bothered him every time he went to naturally breath only to find he couldn’t, he hated the restraint. He could hear the students buzzing in the halls and every bump of his shoulder. Hell, he could feel when someone just came close to him. It was all too much against the fuzzy pounding and the itching and the headache and the sore stomach and just everything. He felt lost in the hallway, like he was going down a mile long hell chain. When he felt the tears running down his face from something other than allergies he knew that he needed Jeremy, and he needed him now.

Jeremy shut his locker and looked up when he heard a weak sniffle next to him. He frowned when he saw tears running down Michael’s face, Rich wasn’t kidding he did look worse. There was snot dripping down his face that he was too miserable to even feel or be annoyed. Jeremy got off of his knee and stood up tall, his backpack slung over his shoulder as he took in Michael’s shaking form.

“God Michael, we should get you home. Gimmie your keys, I’ll drive.”

He put a hand on Michael’s back breifly, not noticing the subtle flinch, and guided him to his car. Michael balled fists into his eyes and tried to stop the wave of tears, he felt so uncomfortable in his own skin and just wanted to sleep for a year and wake up healthy. But now his mind was on another thing. Did Jeremy not see him crying? No he was looking right at him. He didn’t ask if he was ok though. Does…does he not care anymore? Maybe the SQUIP is blocking Michael’s tears from his vision. Or maybe he just didn’t care anymore. Michael felt even more overwhelmed, more tears falling down into his sweatshirt sleeve.

It wasn’t until Jeremy was all set up to drive that he noticed something else was wrong. Usually Michael would recline his chair as much as possible and try to sleep for the 15 minuetes they had to drive. But Michael sat there curled up with his face in his sleeve, only moving to wipe furiously. His shoulders were shaking and it filled Jeremy with this…urge to protect and comfort. God, poor Michael. And those tears wouldn’t stop. Was Michael actually crying? Jeremy frowned and turned the A.C. up, knowing having cold air on his face helped Michael calm down. The boy lifted his head up at the gust of wind, sniffled, and just silently stood facing it with tears rolling down his chin evenly.

“Michael…?” Jeremy finally dared to ask, “What’s wrong..?”

Michael let out a shaky exhale, adjusting the fan to hit him more directly, “I just…feel so awful, Jeremy…” the broken tone in his voice broke Jeremy’s heart too.

Jeremy turned the key into the ignition, “I know pal. But me and you are gonna hang out at your house and we’re gonna eat a shit ton and you’re gonna feel so much better, that sound good?”

Michael nodded, his face going red to his ears when he asked, “can I have sick cuddles too?”

“You can have sick cuddles too.”

Michael finally relaxed and reclined into his chair, relishing the steady feeling of the car as he shut his burning eyes. He picked his dry lips, feeling Jeremy start to back out of the parking lot. Jeremy tried to give Michael his space, especially now that he was starting to actually relax, but he couldn’t help but focus on the way Michael still heavily took breathes through his mouth.

“Michael?”

“Mm..?”

“Are you ok?”

“Yeah…I guess.”

“Why are you breathing like that?”

Michael sniffled and tried to test the waters, but nope, still can’t breath, “my nose is so blocked dude…”

“Oh geez… I think I shoved like Wendy’s napkins in your glovebox.”

Michael reached for the pile of napkins, they’d rub harshly against his nose but god he needed to breathe. “You’re a mcfucking life saver”

After about 5 harsh noseblows, his nose giving a strange crinkingly feeling as it slowly opened up, Michael found for the first in he was able to fall asleep in less than the 15 minutes.