#he's worried about his legacy ending. nerd.

[fr3man]

All Too Well - Part 2

Ghostface was well and truly back. Sam and Tara didn’t even get to the police station straight away the previous night, they were nearly shot at the bodega. The group were now being as cautious as possible. Mindy’s version of ‘cautious’ was rounding off the suspects.

The group were now currently sat on the campus of Blackmore University, Mindy stood in front of everyone.

“Okay, nerds! Listen up! As terrifying as this all is, I’m actually glad I get a chance to redeem myself for not calling the killers last time... It’s fine. Okay. The way I see it, someone is out to make a sequel to the requel.”

Anika raises her hand.

“Um, what’s a requel?”

“You’re beautiful, sweetie. Let’s hold questions till the end.”

Anika smiled at her before Sam spoke up.

“Stab 1 took place in Woodsboro. Stab 2 took place in college.”

Tara looked towards Sam.

“So we think the killer is trying to copy the movies?”

Mindy pointed at Tara.

“That is one possibility. Heroes now in college: check. Suspicious new characters brought in to round out the suspect list and or body count: check, check and check.”

She pointed at Quinn, Anika and Ethan.

“I don’t like this.”

Ethan said before Molly gave him a pat on the shoulder.

“But it can’t just be about Stab 2.”

Mindy carried on.

“Why not?”

Tara’s eyebrows furrowed.

“It would make sense if this were just a sequel. But we’re not in a sequel, because nobody just makes sequels anymore… We’re in a franchise! And there are certain rules to a continuing franchise.

Sam, Anika and Molly sighed.

“I had a feeling.”

“Rule 1: everything is bigger than last time. Bigger budget, bigger cast, bigger body count. Longer chases, shootouts, beheadings. You gotta top what came before to keep people coming back.”

“Beheadings?”

Molly and Chad said in unison.

“Beheadings. Rule 2: whatever happened last time, expect the opposite. Franchises only survive by subverting expectations. If the killers last time were whiny snowflake film nerds with Letterboxd accounts instead of personalities, you bet the opposite will be true here.”

Nobody seemed to notice the face Ethan made when Mindy made a comment about Richie and Amber.

“And rule 3: no one is safe. Legacy characters? Cannon fodder at this point. Usually brought back only to be killed off in some cheap bid for nostalgia. It’s not looking too good for Gale and Kirby. Oh and that’s not even the worst part!”

Chad continues to write in his notebook.

“This is the part where she tells us the worst part.”

“The worst part is franchises are just continuing episodic instalments designed to boost an IP. Which means main characters are completely expendable now too. Laurie Strode, Nancy Thompson, Ellen Ripley, Sally Hardesty, Jigsaw, Tony Stark, James Bond - I mean even Luke Skywalker all died so their franchises could live on! That means it’s not just the friend group. Any of us could go at any time… especially Sam and Tara.”

Sam and Tara exchanged worried looks.

“Wait? Any of us?”

Everyone turned their heads to Ethan as he spoke.

“Yeah.”

“Am- am I in the friend group?”

“Yeah.”

“Am I like one of the targets?… At least I won’t die a virgin.”

The entire group gave him puzzled looks whereas Molly hit him on the arm.

“Babe, seriously?”

Mindy looked kinda grossed out.

“TMI, keep it in the bedroom. But it brings us to our current suspects.”

She stepped in front of Ethan.

“Ethan. The shy and dorky guy who no one suspects because he’s so shy and dorky.”

“Okay, why am I on the suspect list because I’m randomly Chad’s roommate?”

Ethan motions towards Chad defensively.

Mindy looks at him like he’s an idiot.

“Roommate lotteries can be juked, you could’ve fixed it to get next to us! And the fact that you just so happen to be interested in Molly?”

“Okay, what does Molly have to do with this?”

“Well, we all know how her last relationship turned out…”

Tara and Chad immediately jumped to her defence and everyone else seemed surprised at Mindy’s audacity.

“Mindy, seriously?”

Tara looked at her angrily.

Chad looked very irritated.

“Mindy, come on!”

Molly was staring daggers against her.

“Can you not bring up Amber?”

Mindy shrugged her shoulders.

“Whatever, I’m just saying… be careful…”

Molly furrowed her brows and felt a pit in her stomach.

Molly blocked out the rest of what Mindy said. What if she was right? What if Ethan was the killer? What if he betrays her just like Amber did? She tried to snap out of it and tell herself that he’d never do that but the voice at the back of her mind was telling her to never say never.

She was snapped out of her thoughts she. Sam spoke.

“Okay, so we have our rules and we have our suspects.”

“Wait, what about you guys?”

Ethan motioned with his hand to the 5 survivors.

“I mean, I think it’s pretty safe to rule out the 5 of us who went through this last year in Woodsboro.”

Chad smiled at Mindy.

“Agreed.”

Quinn shook her head.

“Not agreed. What if the trauma you all went through caused one or more of you to snap?”

Ethan agreed with Quinn.

“Yeah, or if the fame you got from the killings made you thirsty for more. I mean, let’s be honest here, some of the theories online about Sam are-“

Tara immediately cut him off.

“Don’t you fucking dare.”

Molly hit him in the arm again.

Anika tried to diffuse the situation.

“Okay, she’s right though. I mean face facts, if we’re all suspects - you’re all suspects.”

The 5 looked at each other worriedly.

Molly gets up from her seat.

“As much as I love discussing which of us I think is a murderer, I’m going home.”

Tara gets up from her seat.

“I’m coming too.”

Molly looked at Ethan.

“I’ll see you later.”

He nodded.

“See ya.”

The pair immediately walked off before anyone else even moved. Tara just knew something was wrong with Molly.

“You okay?”

Molly nodded her head.

“Mhm… just thinking about what Mindy said.”

“Just ignore her, alright?”

“No, Tara she’s got a point. It could easily be him.”

“But it also might not be him.”

“Let’s face it, he’s either the killer or he’s gonna get killed. That’s just how it works.”

Tara linked her arm in Molly’s.

“As long as we stick together as best we can, that should keep us all safe. And I’ll always be here for you.”

They looked at each other and smiled softly.

“Thanks, Tara. I love you.”

“I love you too.”

After a few seconds of silence, Molly spoke up again.

“Y’know, he really reminds me of Wes.”

Tara looked at her.

“Yeah?”

Molly nodded whilst holding back tears.

“Yeah. They have the same stupid smile.. and they’re really good at cheering you up. When I first met Ethan I just immediately felt like Wes had come back to me.”

Parts of Ethan made her think of Amber too - the way they’d both comfort her when she needed it, the way they’d let her vent about her dad, the fact they were both the first people she’d go to if anything happened, the way she thought of them as her entire world - but she couldn’t bring herself to talk about it.

Tara and Molly arrived back at their apartment and sat down on the couch together. Not long after, the sound of keys could be heard and Sam came in.

“Hey.. are you okay?”

The girls shrugged.

“I just really don’t want to go through this again.”

Tara put her arm around Molly.

Sam sat down on the couch with them.

“Hey, I promise I’ll do everything I can to protect you. To protect you all. Which reminds me, I’ve told everyone to stay over here tonight.”

“That’s a good idea - safety in numbers.”

“Exactly.”

Sam smiled at her.

“Everyone will be here in a little bit so it’ll just be us three until then. If you want, we could go to the store and buy some food so we can cook dinner later?”

Tara and Molly nodded.

“That sounds nice.”

Sam got up from the couch.

“Come on, we should go while it’s still daytime.”

A couple of hours go by. At this point, everyone is at the apartment… except Ethan. He told Chad and Molly that he had an econ class. What was so urgent about a college class with everything that was going on?

Molly didn’t like Ethan’s absence one bit - it was just making her more and more worried. Tara and Chad were the first to notice.

Molly went into the kitchen to get glasses for the dinner table. Tara and Chad were in the middle of cooking when she walked in and her entire demeanour was off. They exchanged a look before Tara put a hand on her shoulder.

“Hey. You okay?”

Molly nodded but her face remained emotionless.

“Yep, fine.”

Chad knew better of course.

“Dude, come on.We know when something is bothering you.”

“I said I’m fine, Chad.”

“We know there’s a lot going on and I know you’re probably worrying because Ethan isn’t here-”

“Chad. Look, I appreciate it but I’m fine, alright?”

Chad and Tara looked at each other again before looking at her again.

“We’re here if you want to talk, okay?”

Tara’s voice was full of genuine care and concern.

“Thanks…”

She left the kitchen and placed the glasses on the table.

Mindy and Molly entered the kitchen a couple of minutes later.

“Sam!”

Mindy called her into the kitchen.

“Yeah?”

“We do not have to stay here.”

“Well, too bad. I insist. Safety in numbers.”

Chad had a big smile on his face.

“This’ll be so fun. A little slumber party with the Alive Five!”

Sam furrowed her brows.

“Alive Five?”

“Yeah.”

“The fucking what?”

Molly looked at him with a very confused expression.

Tara looked at him in slight disbelief.

“Did you just give us a nickname?”

“I sure did. We’ve been through a lot together, and it’s a pretty cool nickname.”

Molly and Mindy just looked at him like he was stupid.

“That’s debatable.”

Sam looked down at the floor, holding in a laugh.

“It’s extremely debatable.”

“You can’t just give yourself a nickname, dingus.”

Mindy smiled mischievously.

“Of course I can, dingus, because I just did. Alive Five, up top!”

He lifted his arm, waiting for a high five.

Mindy shook her head.

“No.”

He turned to Tara.

“Down low!”

“Get that away from me.”

He then turned to Molly.

“Come on!”

“Fuck off.”

He finally turned to Sam.

“Please, for the love of God!”

Sam was smiling and it was clear she was tempted.

“Don’t do it!”

Mindy begged Sam not to go along with his bullshit.

Everyone was on the verge of laughing.

“Y’know, I would actually like a little more respect and support from my fellow members of the Alive Five.”

Their attention was then turned to Anika when she shouted them.

“Guys! What the hell?”

She turned up the volume on the TV and everyone went into the living room.

The news headline read ‘PRIME SUSPECT SAMANTHA CARPENTER’.

“We’re hearing from sources inside the homocide division that the prime suspect is none other than Samantha Carpenter, one of the survivors of the Woodsboro killings in 2022, seen here attacking a woman on the streets last night.”

It then showed a video of her ‘attacking’ the girl who approached them after the Halloween party.

“In the wake of the Woodsboro tragedy last year, rumours sprouted online that Carpenter was responsible for the killings, blaming the crimes on her boyfriend, Richie Kirsch and teen Amber Free-”

Sam grabbed the remote and turned the TV off. She walked into the dining room and sat at the table, looking downwards.

Tara cautiously followed her and sat down next to her.

“I know you’re not a fan of the way I’ve been handling things, and that I’ve been giving you a really hard time. But I can say that none of us can relate to what you’re experiencing. And I’m really, really sorry that you have to do that alone.”

The twins, Molly and Anika listened to what Tara was saying to her sister and they were all relieved that Tara was finally getting along with her compared to recently.

Sam shook her head whilst holding back tears.

“It’s not your fault. And I know I shouldn’t care what people think.”

She pauses for a second and wipes a tear of her face.

“It just sucks being this hated.”

The twins and Molly then walked in.

“Hey. Just a reminder, not a single person in this room hates you.”

Chad said as the three of them sat down.

“Okay? We have all been through some fucked-up stuff, and we are coping with it differently. But, I mean we moved here together for one very specific reason… We’re a team.”

Sam smiled at Chad’s words.

“We are the Alive fuckin’ Five.”

Mindy smiled as she said this.

Chad turned his head.

“Thank you very much.”

“I hate myself.”

The twins exchanged a high five and Molly quietly laughed.

“You said it.”

Tara was smiling a lot, as was Sam.

Chad looked so proud.

“That’s what I’m talking about. It’s the Alive Five.”

Mindy looked at Tara.

“Say it.”

“No, I’m not gonna say it.“

“Molly, come on you say it.”

She laughed and shook her head.

“Definitely not.”

Chad tried to convince her.

“Come on, it’s got a nice ring to it.”

Sam suddenly spoke.

“I’ve been sleeping with Cute Boy from across the hall.”

The group went silent before they erupted into cheers.

“I fucking knew it!”

Tara clapped her hands together.

Sam looked confused.

“Yes! Chad, give it, come on!”

Chad rolled his eyes whilst smiling and handed Molly $20.

“Knew it from the day you had that hickey.”

Mindy’s comment made the group laugh.

“I feel like we should high five or something.”

Chad held his hand towards and the group all joined hands.

“The Alive Five high five, may we please?”

Tara laughed.

“Don’t call it that but we’ll do the high five.”

Sam’s phone started ringing and Danny’s name was lit up on the screen.

Tara’s face lit up and she held the phone up.

“No, Tara.”

Sam was holding in a laugh.

“Hey, so what are your intentions?”

The group burst into laughter.

“Tara, give it here.”

Tara went to pass it to Molly, the pair of them laughing, before Sam took it back.

“It’s fine. I’ll call him back.”

“Poor guy.”

The sound of Quinn moaning could be heard. Not like it was an unfamiliar sound.

“Oh my god, Quinn and her gentlemen called are back at it again.”

The group looked towards Quinn’s bedroom door.

“She’s getting it too? Okay.”

The group were still laughing.

Quinn’s moaning got heavier and at the same time everyone’s phones went off.

They all got their phones out to take a look. Danny had air-dropped them all a picture. It was of Quinn. Getting attacked by Ghostface.

The sound of Quinn shouting for help was then heard.

The group sprung from their seats and ran to the living room. Anika sprung up from the couch to see what was going on.

Quinn then screamed. Tara ran towards Quinn’s room before Chad pulled her back.

“Tara, wait!”

Not a sound could be heard. The group waited for any kind of noise but there was still nothing.

“Run.”

Quinn’s door burst open and Quinn’s dead body was thrown at the group, landing on Anika and pushing her on the ground.

Anika screamed in terror.

Sam and Molly got on the ground to pull her off.

Chad pulled Tara with him as he ran out the apartment.

“Guys, come on!”

Ghostface stood there and tilted his head, looking at Mindy.

“Oh, fuck.”

He sliced her in the arm with his knife.

She threw herself back in pain, holding her arm.

“Mindy!”

Anika grabbed onto his cloak as he tried to move towards Mindy again.

“Stay the fuck back!”

Molly quickly stood up and tried to pull him backwards. He immediately grabbed her and threw her to the floor and she hit her head on the ground. She held her head in pain, trying to get herself up but by the time she was in a state where she could, Anika was at the other end of the room and Ghostface was dragging a knife through her stomach and she was screaming in agony.

She quickly stood up but before she could get to them Sam came in and hit him in the head with an empty knife block. He fell on the ground, giving the girls enough time to run into Quinn’s room and lock the door.

Ghostface then started pounding on the door before it all went quiet.

Sam looked behind them and saw the bathroom door was still open.

“Molly. Bathroom door, hurry!”

She got up and went into the bathroom but stopped in her tracks and screamed when she saw Quinn’s boyfriend dead in the shower.

“Fuck!”

She then looked up and saw Ghostface standing in the doorframe and screamed again. She tried to shut the door but he kept pushing it open. Sam ran in the bathroom to pull her out and back into Quinn’s room.

They locked the door but he just kept pounding and pounding on it. He was strong so the lock kept unlocking. They pushed a dresser in front of it but it then got pushed backwards due to a hard kick to the door.

Sam and Molly stood with their backs against it to keep him out. Sam then saw Danny out the window, trying to get their attention. She ran to the window and opened it.

“Don’t worry, I got you!”

He pushed a ladder out his window.

“Are you fucking kidding me?”

“You got a better idea?”

“Fuck. No.”

She reached her hand out and pulled the ladder so it reached them.

“You gotta come one a time!”

Sam turned to the girls.

“You three go first!”

“No!”

Molly and Mindy were pressed against the dresser but they were still struggling.

“Guys!”

“Someone needs to hold the door, we’ll send Anika next. Go!”

Sam looked hesitant.

“Go!”

The girls said in unison.

Sam got onto the ladder and started crawling towards Danny’s window.

Mindy and Molly were still trying to keep the dresser against the door.

“Sam, she’s losing a lot of blood!”

“Say something more positive!”

Sam managed to get across and then the sound of Danny and Sam could be heard.

“Come on!”

Mindy looked towards Molly.

“Molly, go!”

“No!”

“Molly-”

“You’re injured, I’m not. I can hold the door. Get Anika on the ladder, then both of you go.”

She hesitated and then moved towards Anika and helped her off the bed.

“You have to go first-”

“I can’t!”

“You have to go!”

“No, Mindy no! I’ll be right behind you, I promise!”

They kissed before Mindy reluctantly got onto the ladder.

As Mindy struggled to make her away across, Ghostface kept pounding on the door. Molly and Anika kept yelling for her to go.

Mindy made her way to Danny’s apartment.

“Guys, come on!”

“Anika, go.”

“What?! No, I’m not leaving you!”

“Anika, go! I’ll be fine, I promise!”

The others continued to shout.

“Guys, come on! Hurry!”

Ghostface pounded on the door even harder.

Molly tried not to cry.

“Ani, please!”

Anika looked at her tearfully before getting on the ladder.

“Oh my god… I can’t! I can’t do it!”

Ghostface is slowly getting the door more and more open.

“Anika, go! Quick!”

Molly is struggling more and more to keep the door shut.

He bangs on the door which prys it open, pushing Molly forward roughly. She tries to push it back again.

“Fuck…”

She looked to see how far Anika had gotten, which sadly wasn’t very far due to her gutted stomach.

Ghostface manages to bang on the door enough so the cabinet is knocked forward causing Molly to fall to the floor.

“No!”

Ghostface approaches Molly and she tries to keep them away. Ghostface grabs her by the neck, lifts her up and shoves her onto Quinn’s bed.

Everyone is terrified for Molly and Anika’s safety.

“No! Molly!”

“Anika, move!”

Molly tries to block him so he’d be at least injured to give Anika more time.

Ghostface slashed her hand and she screams in pain.

Molly’s scream only slows Anika down.

He lifts Molly off the bed and slams her head into the cabinet, knocking her out and leaving her for dead.

By the time she woke up, she was in an ambulance. She tried to lift her head up but winced in pain. She noticed the bandage wrapped around her hand. The group immediately got to her side.

“Molly! Hey, you okay?”

She could hear Chad’s voice but her ears were ringing.

She looked around to make sure everyone was there and okay. She saw Danny, Sam, Tara, Chad, Mindy… her heart almost stopped when she didn’t see Anika.

“Where’s Anika?”

Mindy was distraught.

“She’s dead, isn’t she?”

The group all nodded.

“Oh my god…”

She put a hand on her stomach.

“Oh my god, Anika…”

She looked at Mindy.

“Mindy, I’m so, so sorry.”

She got up from the stretcher and sat down next to her. She put her head on Mindy’s shoulder.

“I’m so sorry, Mindy. I tried to help her but I just let her fucking die.”

She broke down crying as she said this.

“Hey. Hey, it’s not your fault, okay?”

She wrapped her arm around her shoulders.

Chad and Tara sat down with them.

“She’s right, Molly. Don’t blame yourself.”

Chad put his hand on her arm.

Tara grabbed her hand.

“You put yourself at risk just to protect her, you did the best you could, alright?”

“I didn’t do the best I could because she’s fucking dead.”

Tara was taken aback when she snapped.

“Sorry, I’m sorry Tara.”

She shook her head.

“Don’t be.”

Sam put a hand on her shoulder.

“I’ve got you some water.”

She handed her a water bottle.

Molly sniffled.

“Thank you.”

The group ended up spending the night at Danny’s apartment whilst the police inspected their apartment, not that any of them could really sleep properly anyway.

The only thing Molly could think about was where the fuck Ethan was.

[witsserviceablesubstitute]

Hi I was wondering if it might be slightly incorrect to state that the characters who want to enact greater change are the ones who’re punished because over the course of the series we see characters advocating for change receiving plenty of positive treatment: rand enacting laws that punish rich and poor alike and egwene pushing for tower reform and encouraging debates about the future moving forward for saidar channelers after the discovery of the kin are the more popular examples. besides, egwene’s fate was picked by harriet, and jordan intended to still write the outriggers meaning that mat’s arc couldn’t end on the note of a happily ever after that a few characters managed.

You're reading is totally valid of course! Though I was more wading into the murky water of saying that perhaps some limitations of the 90s influenced how the story played out for Egwene and Mat.

RJ's writing is strong in how he builds worlds, histories, systems, structures, and characters. He was very good with complexity and empathy. However, it feels to me that radical social and political changes, while present, were only allowed to go so far.

Egwene is a revolutionary by the end of her arc and she's given the heroes treatment, but her legacy is taken up by an Aes Sedai who embodies what she wanted to change about The White Tower. Cadsuane appearing to be brought in as a buffer against the continued disruption of the way The White Tower operated. Change but not too much. The story not dealing with the future trajectory of what Egwene hoped to achieve, but instead implementing a status quo and treating Egwene's tenure as Amyrlin as expedient.

Meanwhile, Rand's mere presence disrupts many systems he finds himself involved in. His views and his vision for the world, however, can often harken back to an idealised past. Part of that is Lews Therin's influence, but part of it is Rand being a history nerd homebody who wants to live a pastoral fantasy. Story-wise I don't know if Rand breaks the world so much as puts it back to rights. He's definitely an agent of positive change, but part of me can't help think he escaped death because he accepted the heavy mantle of his fate using a set of values that are prized by a conservative mindset. Hard work and no play making Rand into a martyr that doesn't actually die. But, ultimately, what Rand represents in the story is not his politics, it's his trauma. His striving to be good and do good despite *gestures at everything*. Rand subverts The Chosen One narrative and I think him alive and sliding away into obscurity also plays into that.

Mat, by contrast, does not have values prized by a conservative mindset. His internal code of honour is strict and stubborn but buried under irreverence, addiction, avoidance, and promiscuity. He would tell you he's a selfish layabout with a smile on his face. Is he though? As a narrative device Mat reminds the reader of the human cost to war. Somewhere underneath his paranoid anxiety and genuine desire to run away, he is frustrated by his friends willingness to bend and break for the rules unquestioningly. He wants the reader to remember they are people, not the figureheads for The Pattern, or Aes Sedai, or anyone. He wants the reader to acknowledge people are not to be played with, nor should they be beholden to the whims of the powerful. He wants you to remember their humanity. Rand as Rand. Perrin as Perrin. Egwene as Egwene. Elayne as the thorn in his side (but with a pretty dimple). He'll speaks to peasants the same as he speaks to an Empress, to soldiers the same as he speaks to The Amyrlin. Furthermore, he'll anxiously worry about all of them while he tells himself he doesn't care for any of them. He'll shove money into the hands of refugees while telling you how self-serving he is. He'll offer Egwene a public display of obeisance despite telling you he doesn't care. He'll climb a impenetrable fortress because he saw Rand putting himself in danger. He'll give his eye to save Moiraine without hesitation. He'll sit quietly with a distressed Rand for hours despite convincing himself they're no longer friends. He'll kidnap his prophesied wife and try to connect to her humanity rather than run away like he said he would.

And he's punished because at some point the story begins to believe the lie of him. He stops being that voice, that character. Instead, the promiscuous shiftless layabout is broken with sexual violation, work he cannot shirk from, and a fate he was apparently wrong to question.

[silvanoir]

but it was supposed to be a good surprise!

I really fumbled things today:

Was getting along with new friend again. And finally got the approval to tell him something, so I was excited to!

See, I don't have any kids or anything, so I'm leaving all my money to charity when I die. I arranged it all last year. Most of the charities I picked had a department to handle that kind of donation of being named in a will (legacy gift) except for one. The ones that had a department to handle it gave me "thank you" gifts in return of small merch like bookmarks, stickers, address labels, tote bags, stuff like that.

The one that took longer to do the paperwork on, literally months and months, had a different thank you gift. A tour of their ship. It's WHOI (woods hole oceanographic institute). (If you're wondering why them, its because I've vacationed on Cape Cod since I was a kid and when I was picking charities they had sent me a postcard about saving whales). I started the process long before I befriended this guy and had no idea hes a huge nerd for ocean exploration, especially when WHOI found the wreck of the Titanic (he even built a model of the Titanic). So this month I asked if when it all goes through if I could invite him along. When I got approval I wanted to tell him.

I was hoping for a "YOU WIN A NEW CAAAAAAARRRRR!" type reaction. This not what I got. I got as far as saying "I'm leaving my money to charity when I die..." and he ran off to the bathroom, upset. He though I was saying I was going to die. As in, soon. And panicked.

On one hand, he's worrying and crying over ME for a change. but I'm not vindictive like that. I don't WANT anyone to worry or cry. Its good to know I'm cared about that much???? Buuuut. yeeks.

And it wasn't until the end of the work day I got to finish my story and explain. And got a muted "are you sure?" as his reaction. Which is how he reacts when I give him anything or do anything for him.... clearly a person who is not used to someone giving them things without expecting anything in return. (which makes me sad). But then he said he'd drop everything to go on the day it happens (we're on the scientists' schedule, afterall, they're not on ours). so. good?

But far from the confetti falling form the ceiling moment I was hoping for.

[icarusthefoolish]

In Memory of Alexander aka Technoblade.

It doesn't feel like it but it's been an entire year without Techno, and to honour his legacy i thought I'd write a little something.

I first got into the Dream Smp a while after the first Major War the war for L'Manburgs freedom. One of my best friends who was staying with me showed me a Manhunt Video of Dream. I didn't even know who he was and i wasn't super interested in Minecraft at the time but i ended up watching the video anyway if only to make my friend happy. The next day when she left i found a short clip of Tubbo who changed his language to German and as a German person myself it made me laugh. That was the time i got into the fandom.

A few months later i came across Technoblade for the very first time, i was at the lowest point in my life at the time, I'd lost all will to live and i felt like a husk of my former self, but somehow Techno's Jokes and attitude made me smile even though i thought i couldn't anymore. The Potato War series was the video i came across and I watched the entire thing because he made me laugh. He made me feel alive again, he made me feel as though my anger and frustration and sadness was valid. I continued watching his videos while keeping up with the Dream SMP when i figured out he joined i basically only watched his POV, I'd be there for every single stream no matter how late it was or how mundane the things he did were. I was a lurker just enjoying hearing his voice in the background while doing something.

And over time i started to get invested in the Lore of his Character, what he stood for and i became invested in the friends he had on the Server. I kept up to date on everything Technoblade, i regularly checked his twitter and watched and re-watched his Videos. I remember when everything went quiet on his end, i was worried, i knew i shouldn't be because he was just a streamer who I'd become attached to but i couldn't help myself. When he posted the video where he explained why he was gone I breathed a huge sigh of relief. I was so happy to see that he was ok, that relief only lasted until he broke the news of getting cancer. At that time my personal life was getting busier as well i didn't have as much time anymore but i tried to keep up-to-date on what was going on. When there was more silence i found myself worried again, but I didn't have the time to worry about what was going on but the thoughts were in the back of my mind basically 24/7 by that time.

I remember the day when i found out about Techno's death like it was yesterday, i was at my schooling, I'd just arrived a few minutes prior and since we still had some time to kill i decided to open Tumblr, the first thing i saw was a picture one of my mutuals posted, I don't remember the exact text but it said something along the Lines of Fly High king. It had Technos crown and sword. I didn't even read the tags under the picture, my heart felt like it had just dropped down to my stomach, i immediately went to his twitter to check for anything, i found nothing, then i went to Google and that was when it got real. I was shown an article about his death and the Video his father posted. I immediately jumped to his Chanel and watched it.

The moment i saw the black Thumbnail and the Title "So Long Nerds" i was in tears, i watched the video but couldn't even make it half way through without sobbing. At some point one of my teachers noticed i was crying and offered me to go take a breather Which i did. I don't think it exactly settled what that Video meant at that time, and the rest of the day was a blur at best. I couldn't watch the entirety of the Video for another 3 months no matter how hard i tried at some point i broke down crying.

I felt like i didn't deserve to mourn Technoblade, I'd never known him personally, I'd only ever known him as Technoblade the Minecraft Anarchist it felt wrong to mourn him so i kept quiet about it. A little while after my 19th birthday i got a tattoo to remember him by, because he'd played a huge part in helping me recover even if he didn't know it. And ever since then every time i got sad about Techno i look at my Tattoo and think "he'd probably laugh about me being sad" and that makes me smile.

I'm thankful that i got to be apart of the community, I'm thankful that i got to experience technoblade. I'm thankful for every single moment i watched his Videos, I'm thankful for the fact that he was what helped me out of my darkest times and while i never got to know him beyond the YouTuber he was I'm still thankful that i got to have the chance to know him as that. I don't know where i would be now if i hadn't discovered Technoblade when i did I wouldn't have made half of the friends i have now.

So thank you Techno, thank you for being there for me even without knowing, thank you for your wonderful videos that always seemed to brighten my days.

Technoblade Never Dies!

I started this a few days before the 30th but i couldn't finish it in time so this is a little late.

[sabineelectricheart]

Secret Relationship Blown

Summary: Chad does not want for people to know he is dating someone, but when a guy makes a move on Barbara, he has other concerns.

Rating: T - Suitable for teens, 13 years and older, with some violence, minor coarse language, and minor suggestive adult themes.

Words: 1100

Notes: I think Chad would admire intelligent people. Not stuffy academics or nerds, but that kind of understated cleverness that is shown in polite conversation, that sort of understanding of the world.

It is finally springtime in Sugardale.

The end of the school year swung in with the looming promise of well-deserved vacations and great change to come, as it always did. Some would graduate and leave, some would become the new leaders of the clubs and fraternities, and there would come another batch of pledges. It is hard to escape the whole sentimentality of the season.

According to most of the student body, and a few sections of the faculty, this is the perfect time to throw a party, and the Investments Club is not one to stay behind with such matters. They set up a rave in their large club house, inviting every member and their roommates and girlfriends, and eventually what seemed the entire population of the town showed up. Word spread like wildfire when it came to a blow out of theirs, as it is guaranteed to be the hottest place to be in any given night.

Chad scanned the room for you, not worried about being obvious, as there is little point to hide anything. Bryce was with Trish, and they were wrapped around their usual drama, having April hanging around, senselessly trying to referee the petty dispute, his football teammates and fellow Investment Club associates are scattered around, too busy with either hoping to bag a new conquest or get some old one to put out, and everyone else was too drunk with the better quality of alcohol they were offering for the occasion.

Then his eyes found her, Barbara Hylton, his date for the night, and he realised that they could not leave anymore. She still is the most beautiful, intelligent and awe-inspiring person he had ever seen, even if he keeps it to himself to save face. His jaw still dropped at the sight of her after the best part of seven months, and he does not think it will stop any time soon.

It took every single ounce of energy from every bone in his large body to not walk up to her and shower her with the millions of compliments springing to his mind, some not as wholesome and civil as others. Alas, he could not, and that is mostly on him.

He had suggested that they kept their little dalliance, as she puts it, between them, as not to make a big deal of it, because, as ashamed as he may be for admitting it, he does not want people to know that he is dating anyone, least of all someone like her.

Though, much to his own chagrin, she promptly agreed to his suggestion. She is a scholarship student, after all, and she is in the club which he manages, a club which is very exclusive, catered to legacy members, and with a selective membership process she has not found herself subjected through. It could be assumed that he had something to do with it, and that may lead to circumstances which threaten the continuity of her student support.

Chad was readying himself to keep control and greet Barbara regularly, like a proper vice-president would to one of its female members. He is often reminded of his etiquette whenever he interacts with her, as he gets nervous and acts ceremoniously to avoid suspicion or back-talking.

It was when his eye caught some student that he does not recognize approaching her for a conversation. He decided to wait until they were done talking to go and greet her for the first time that evening.

The drink he was holding almost spilled in his grip when Chad realised that the little bastard was not just talking to his girlfriend, he was touching her, too. Not a friendly shoulder nudge, not a drunken knock, not a brotherly poke. No, the guy was attempting to slip an arm around her shoulder, trying to make her laugh and lean into him.

He cracks his knuckles. Someone is going to be sporting a black eye tomorrow morning.

The burly man focuses his attention on Barbara, to see whether she is welcoming the guy’s advances or rejecting him, to see how much force he is putting in his first punch. He notes, with satisfaction, that she is not responding to the pathetic advance. Instead, she stood stiffly, gripping her drink as tight as he was gripping his.

She gave the drunk guy a restrained smile, eyes searching the room. She swept her gaze across the crowd, desperately trying to locate Chad as she shifted away from her interlocutor. The lipstick, carefully selected and applied to match her outfit, was starting to stretch with the polite expression she forced.

She did not want to upset the man too much. Firstly, because one can never know what men will do in these situations, but also because he has not treated her with any disrespect. There was nothing wrong with him, aside from the ebriety, but she simply is not interested in anyone else.

"Look, I’m sorry, but I, erm, I'm seeing someone at the moment." The woman said, trying to extricate herself out of the situation.

Barbara craned her neck to the right and locked stares with Chad, silently pleading for him to come over.

The drunk man chuckled. "And he left you all alone at this party? That’s very shitty of him. Don't you want to dance with someone?"

She laughed awkwardly, relieved to see her date appear in front of them.

"I didn't leave her alone. Off you go." Chad threatens, baring his teeth.

The guy spluttered, surprised at the sudden appearance of the tall and strong football captain. "Chad! I-I didn’t…! Sorry, I’m so sorry, I didn't…"

Chad smirked, looping his own arm around Barbara as the other man promptly removed his. He does not reply to the stammering, leading her away instead as she leaned into his side.

"Thanks, C. You saved me out there. Where we going now?" She asks, as they go out the door.

"Just out for a breather." He responded, both curt and airily.

As it turned out, the so-called breather was at his bedroom in the frat house and it did not involve breathing so much as fast paced making out.

The hot and savage kissing left her lips tingling and parted with the gloss smeared on the side. With a giggle, she realised there was a shiny pink tinge to her boyfriend’s ones as well.

Chad smiled down at the woman, whom he locks underneath him with his strong arms. "Do you think that we blew our cover?"

Barbara laughed breathlessly. "Yeah, we probably did."

“Good.” He responded hoarsely.

*_*_*_*_*

College Craze Masterlist

[handelplayssims]

Another morning arises with both Izzy and Lara waking up. Lara’s first whim is to mourn the dead, and there is one place I could think of to go to to honor that. You see, Cameron and Lara first were played with an elder lady. I believe I mentioned this before but she was an active older woman. I basically adopted Cameron into the house out of loneliness and because, well, she was old. If there is ever a time I feel the hand of Grim, it’s when I play older Sims! So she adopted them in and I killed her off because continually getting whims to be active when she’s an elder who would get very tired was annoying had her die of exhaustion from working out too much. And continued on with Cameron and Lara. But we should tell Izzy about this weird elder, yeah?

...also Cameron came home with that fear of a dead end job. Ah the capitalism. Anyway, let’s get needs managed and stuff and then we’ll head off!

There’s just one problem. No one moves into Rindle Rose. Probably for good reasons but it also means that they can’t get in to pick up the grave! Alas! They’ll have to actually talk to Izzy about the everything. ...Share Melancholic Thoughts will work. And Cameron will tell a dramatic story! Thus will the legacy of...gal who’s name I forgot of will live on. -ahem- Anyway, Lara’s next whim is to gush about nature and so she will! She’ll uh...teach about plants to Izzy. Mm. That social is always a bit finicky on whether or not it wants to show up. Anyway, Izzy and Cameron need the restroom so let’s head on over to the actual park. Public restrooms are an important service after all.

Lara’s next whim is to stay outside for eight hours. We can do that. We can spend a whole day out here, right at this park! Cameron, not so much. He’s coming up on 10 hours until he needs to sleep for work. Meanwhile, this is the time Izzy to go and make another kid friend. Also, huh. Lara’s club decided to gather automatically at 1PM. I mean, sounds about right but also huh. Anyway, Izzy met Miguel Angel Arellano. Quite a mouthful! He looks like a nerd with his winter outfit but is actually a slob! Welp! Who cares? We’re kids and we’re gonna play together!

Lara, by the by, has simply gone fishing. It’s fun for her and it gives her points in the club activities! ...I am seeing a fair amount of teens around here on the weekend. Good to know! And there we go! Friend number 2 achieved! Now to befriend Liana...or befriend another kid. And an adult, can’t forget about that. But first! Chess. We’ll see if any adults decide to drop in. Alexander Goth did! And hmm, doesn’t seem to count as child or kid. THUS YOU ARE USELESS! Except as a chess opponent. Because yeah, he’s a teen.

And Lara finally got her “stayed-outside-for-10-hours” buff. Congratulations to her! I was avoiding going to the restroom explicitly because it said to avoid buildings but now I don’t have to worry about the toilet. Let’s head home, shall we? We got fish to sell! Which I could do from there but eh. Basically, we’ve spent long enough at that park. Lara’s next whim is to woohoo in a bush which, nice but alas. Two hours until work for Cameron. Just take a jog around the neighborhood. And then she made some dinner and turned into bed, while Cameron is off to work. Making it time for!

Neighborhood Watch!

Fetu Tilo in the Tilo household retired from his job as a Live Support Agent in the Tech Guru career.

Derumk Kealoha in the Kealoha household has died. Derumk stuck a finger in a plug and electricty came out.

[hiveswap]

Cool!!! Don't be intimidated by the lenght, i get verbose but it's not a lot of info. I love him a lot because he's absolutely devastating to read about, I'm pretty sure I got gray hairs in the process. He's dense, self sacrificial, doesn't think he belongs anywhere, and unable to sit still for 10 seconds.

Do you like the Guardians of the Galaxy? Because Richard does... He's constantly on and off with Gamora and has been obviously in love with Starlord's gay ass too for the same amount of time. (In better runs they're not at all like the mcu versions if you're worried about that.)

His backstory is that he was randomly given the powers of a dying Nova (space UN solider) via lightning when he was 17 and it's been downhill for him ever since. The Nova Corps have been oneshotted like 4 times by now, they're not that big of a deal honestly. He's also got a little brother and their dad sucks and is half the reason he won't accept help from anyone.

Guide(s) below

The first Nova comic run was in 1973. In that Rich was a teenage superhero, He was also a member of the New Warriors for a couple decades which were basically marvel's first teen team. (Can't help a lot here, haven't read a lot of these)

I personally started reading at the Annihilation crossover event from 2006 because I wanted to get into the modern (ough long story) Guardians of The Galaxy team, whose plotline was first set up there. Rich is basically the protagonist of Annihilation, nearly dies a lot. (He should be 22 years old here i think? They mention how long he's had his powers)

He got his own series again in Nova 2007, which carried on alongside the cosmic side of marvel. you have to read other comics too to fully get wtf is going on sometimes, like gotg 2008, (my beloved!!) a tiny bit of xmen, ect. This carries on for three more arcs (annihilation:conquest, war of kings, realm of kingd) and then ends in 2010 with the Thanos Imperative event.

I fully trust the Comic book herald cosmic guide to tell that era of the story. It's cohesive.

The reading order gets weird here lmao

Things fall apart fully after that, the guide website gets more confusing and splits off into different articles...

-You don't have to read Guardians of the Galaxy 2013, it's irrelevant to Nova and smells like the MCU, but like two or three issues of it explain basically what happened following the fade to black in Thanos Imperative. That's pretty important, idk their number right now but they should be titled Original Sin.

-You could read Guardians 3000! An alternate future fem!Nova appears but she's not as important to the plot as I had hoped. :/ She's got sexual tension with alternate future Starlord who is actually a different guy than he claims imo. (It also requires a bit of knowledge of pre-2000 gotg but you should be fine if you've read the 2008 one too)

-Nova 2017 brings Richard back! You could read 2016 first for a bit of context but it's not neccassary, it's fully about Sam Alexander. (legacy hero to Rich, like Miles Morales to Peter Parker.)

-Then there's the Black Order miniseries where he gets mind controlled, not an important one but it does interesting things to his character and at this point i'm just happy to see him

-He reunites with Peter Quill in Guardians 2018, it's kinda cute. You could read Infinity Wars after but it's. Eh. Guardians 2019 is a bit better, he's there in that one too. His brother is there in both as well.

-Annihilation: Scourge. Not lot I can say about it. Kinda gross

-Guardians 2020 is sometimes called the first true sequel to the one from 2008. Rich actually join the team in that one and deals with his issues!! Actually sees a professional too!! Pround of him!! It's followed by the Bane of Blastaar oneshot. Those 3 nerds are so married.

-The Guardians got a bad series in 2023 again, so the author of Guardians 2020 carried him over to X-Men Red. You get some context for that in Guardians 2020 but I do recommend reading up on Krakoa and Arakko anyway. You could try following the X-men guide (not from the very beginning, start at 2019 the earliest if you want to do this) on the comic book herald website but it's very quantity over quality so i've read some truly awful runs doing that.

Red is important for Rich and it's the last one he's been in to date. It's good but i haven't finished it because the full xmen guide overwhelmed me.

On a final note, take it slow and drop things fhat are irrelevant, bad, or boring. Don't burn yourself out like i did on xmen

I used this website to read comics also

If you wanna know anything about how to read comics abt the guy im happy to tell you

yes please!! he will be my next hyperfixation after i'm done with my current hyperfixation (if all goes to plan regarding my personal time) so that would be great!

[trailshome]

another potentially angsty one because i love being in emotional agony: how about #9, how do they feel about growing older and eventually dying? personally im more scared about actually getting old than dying (although I am a little scared of dying painfully im more worried about what happens after) but theres something really scary about getting old to me. idk wjsjk anyway fun fact of the day: i have playlists for my ocs!! all of them are over 3 hours long and I also have a playlist for the place some of them originate from!! it's a bit messy and i need to clean them out bc sometimes i just add things in there w/o a second thought lol!! i think my longest oc playlist rn is like. 7 hours long but that's bc he's kinda like my “main” oc in a way??

-spice [extra fun fact!! i have bad eyesight which means i have to wear glasses. my mom says my eyesight is like hers and her eyesight is terrible like she can only see blurs and blobs but i can see w/o glasses?? it's just not as good by far. i’ve also dyed my hair 3 times (pink-purple, purple, and red) and i love short hair. i kinda wanna dye my hair red again but the first time hurt so bad for some reason it was terrible but the color looked really nice on me!!]

// ngl scared of what awaits after death -- top fear aside from large, barking dogs and water, haha!! I should spend some time making character playlists/general playlists for Trails but I'm... far too lazy lol!!

Finlay: Totally chill, their faith is unshakable and they believe they will end up in the Crossroads before journeying with many others to the next life.

Lesilfae: Dying?? Him?? HAH!! He's probably cut a deal with a necromancer or smth to resurrect him after death (which is highly illegal in the Realm) aka he's terrified.

Galeon: Also totally chill about it. Doesn't know what will happen after but he's accepted that it's a part of life. More worried about being separated from his loved ones than death itself.

Hollond: Not afraid of death, but afraid of who (or what) awaits them. Perhaps that means eternal paradise, or, perhaps, they're afraid of meeting their (literal) maker.

Greta: Not afraid of death, more worried about how bored she'll be instead. Eternal sleep? boring. Eternal happiness?? also kinda boring. She want's adventure! Excitement!! How can she do that when she's gone??

[nikatyler]

I am *this* close to doing Ross’s story but without the NSB elements. Aaaand a bunch of other changes. Aaaa

[officialaemondtargaryen]

Age Of Consent [part one]

Summary: Dustin’s older sister thinks Eddie Munson could be a bad influence on her younger brother due to their history. Can he change her mind?

Pairing: Eddie Munson x Fem!Henderson!Reader

Word Count: 1,166

What you’ll find in this series: big angst, wholesome fluff, sexual content, and a lot of profanity.

A/N: So the first time I posted this it had the ending and the middle in the same draft, so hopefully no one actually read that... This series was titled after the song Age Of Consent by New Order; the main characters in this story are of age and consenting adults.

Read Part Two

“Don’t you think the Weird Al t-shirt is a bit- much?”

“Do I th- absolutely not!” Your little brother replied, looking down at his choice of attire. He also had on a Hawaiian print button-up and a trucker’s hat he got from Science Camp. “This is a great shirt.”

“It’s your social life hanging in the balance.” You reminded him, rolling your eyes.

“You sound just like Steve,” he replied as he began to unbuckle his seat belt. “Just like him.”

Dustin was one of those kids who had to check, and double-check, to make sure that he had everything that he needed before he got out of the car. You could hear him quietly mumbling to himself as he checked his pockets, “lunch money, batteries, number 2 pencil.”

“You got a life in there somewhere?” You asked sarcastically as he rummaged through his backpack. “Come on, you’re going to make me late for work.”

“Alright, alright!”

“All jokes aside,” you mentioned as he opened the passenger side door. “I hope you have a great first day. I’ll see you at home.”

Dustin nodded and headed towards the double doors of Hawkins High, his first day as a freshman. You had to admit that you were worried about him, you couldn’t help it. High school was a completely different experience- it wasn’t just the same middle school bullies anymore. Kids were mean, you remembered what it was like.

Your little brother usually biked to school, but you promised him that for his first day of freshman year you’d drive him. You hadn’t been back to Hawkins High since you graduated- for good reason. The sickening nostalgia of the high pony-tails and the sea of green and gold was enough to make you regret your decision to drop Dustin off. You had repressed those memories for a reason, and still, you at least waited for him to get inside before you finally decided to drive away.

When you got home from work, your mother was just finishing up with dinner and Dustin was finishing up his homework at the table.

“Hey mom,” you called to your mother who smiled at you over her shoulder as she pulled whatever it was she was cooking out of the oven. “You got something on your-” you pointed at Dustin’s shirt. He fell for it, allowing you to flick his nose when he looked down. “Nerd. How was your first day?”

You pulled your bag off of your shoulder and dropped it in an empty chair before grabbing the silverware to begin setting the table.

“I was asked to join a D&D club, so I would say today was a total success.” His words made you freeze. “They call it the Hellfire Club.” Dustin said proudly. “Look, I even got this awesome t-shirt.”

Dustin pulled the familiar t-shirt out of his backpack and unfolded it with a wide grin, yet, the sight of it made your stomach drop.

“You’re in Hellfire?” You asked him as you placed the napkins in the center of the table. “Of course you’re in Hellfire.”

He nodded his head with a toothy grin. “You know it?”

“I’ve heard of it.” You shrugged.

“Eddie, the Dungeon Master, is so cool, Y/N, you have to meet him.”

“Eddie Munson?” You asked, trying to wrap your head around it all. Dustin nodded again.

You couldn’t believe that Eddie was still even in school. You figured that he would have dropped out eventually. He had to be at least twenty years old by now, still preying on the societal outcasts of Hawkins High to join his little cult- he was always determined to make it his legacy.

Four years of drama club meant four years of sharing the same classroom with Hellfire. You had spent countless long nights building and painting sets and sewing costumes while Eddie Munson and his misfits journeyed their way through campaign after campaign. Eventually, the two of you became friends. There were nights where he’d even linger; helping you paint or just making sure that you weren’t there alone.

Among other things.

“Earth to Y/N?” Dustin was waving a hand in front of your face. “Can you please pass the potatoes?”

“Sorry,” you muttered and handed him the bowl.

“Are you okay, sweetie?” Your mother asked, concerned. Dustin was staring a hole through you, and you could practically see the gears turning in his head trying to figure you out.

“"Y-yeah,” you lied. “Totally cool.”

You shoved a bite of mashed potatoes in your mouth to try and hide your fib. Dustin shook his head and went back to talking about the teachers that he had this year and weird it was not seeing Will at school this year. You inevitably tuned him out, your mind reverting back to your memories of Eddie Munson.

Dustin didn’t know about your history with the metalhead and you couldn’t have been more thankful. You didn’t want him to make a big deal out of it, which you knew he would have. However, you did wonder if Eddie targeted him because he somehow knew that Dustin was your little brother.

It’s not like it would have been hard for him to figure it out.

“Dustin?” You were both standing at the kitchen sink now, you were washing and he was drying the dishes. You turned to him, fingertips slightly submerged in the hot water still. “I don’t think it’s a good idea for you to be in this club.”

“Why?” He asked, clearly upset. “It’s just D&D.”

“It’s not just D&D,” you replied and dried your hands on the washcloth that he was holding. “It’s more than that. These guys are older and- well, they can be very impressionable on young minds.”

“You don’t know what you’re talking about.” Dustin fought. “You’re just jealous because I’m actually making friends in high school and you never did.”

“Ouch,” you placed your hand over your heart and your brother sighed.

“That was mean, I’m sorry.” You nodded in response, but in the same breath, he continued with, “I just think you’re being a little dramatic. If you would just come to one campaign and meet Eddie, I think you would change your mind.”

You hadn’t seen Eddie Munson in two years. The last time being the day that you graduated; the day that you tried so desperately to forget about. Sometimes you thought you’d caught a glimpse of him turning a corner, or maybe saw his van parked outside the record store on the way to work.

So maybe it was possible, in the last two years, that the guy had changed. You didn’t want to rob Dustin of a chance to make some friends in high school or make things worse for him.

You knew this was a terrible idea.

“Fine,” you sighed.

Dustin almost jumped for joy and threw his arms around your middle. “I promise you’re going to love him!”

Yes, that was precisely the problem.

[expired-monster-craft-smp]

I’ve been thinking about writing this for awhile, and I’ve finally stopped crying long enough to do so. I think we all need a little reminder.

Technoblade, Alexander, loved us. He loved you. Fuck all that parasocial whatever, he loved us. That strong, beautiful, kind person loved us. Whether you believe in an afterlife or not, he continues to love us. He never really said it outright, but he didn’t need to. He gave us merch to wear with pride, content in what must have been his darkest times, and most of all, he gave us each other.

Techno’s community has always been one of the kindest, and I will never forget what many of you had done for me. Not only does Techno love you, but I love you, too. You all are amazing, and you know Techno thought so, too. He may no longer be with us physically anymore, but that lovable nerd will always be with us.

In our hearts,

In our memories,

In our community.

He was so incredibly proud of us, of you, and even in his final moments, he worried about us. After writing his message for us, just 8 hours later, he passed away, finally resting after fighting for so long. He wanted us to know how much he loved us, how much he appreciated all we had done for him and his family. And he knew how much we loved him, too.

With every view, every channel member, every donation and merch purchase and ‘I miss Technoblade’ tweet, he knew.

I know you may feel awful, maybe even guilty, for mourning a man you didn’t know personally, but you shouldn’t beat yourself up about it. You loved him, and what’s wrong with grieving for someone who loved you, too?

Love is a silly thing, you see. It’s a word that has no concrete meaning. Love is something you can find within significant others, within your family, and within a community created from a silly man who loved playing Minecraft and loved his fanbase. I think a quote from the end poem sums this up greatly.

“…and the game was over and the player woke up from the dream. and the player began a new dream. and the player dreamed again, dreamed better. and the player was the universe. and the player was love.”

Techno, Alex, was love. And he is love.

He will always be with us for as long as we uphold his legacy and beyond.

I love you all, and I love you, Alex. We miss you dearly. May you shine bright in our memories forever, brighter than the gold crown you wore; brighter than the sun itself. Rest easy, King.

(Sorry for rambling, I started crying after the first few sentences and I couldn’t stop. Take care of yourself. Drink some water, eat some food, and rest if you need to. <3)

[husbandohunter]

Boys over flowers [Genshin Impact/Various x Reader] Part 2

Not everything had to be about fighting. Ahem Childe.

Genre: fluff, angst(?)

Characters: Zhongli, Childe, Albedo, Xiao

{Zhongli}

Out of all the bountiful possessions in the land he carved with his very own hands, the glaze lily had always been his favourite.

This flower was a nostalgia stained with time. As much as he loved them, the love he felt was more of a bittersweet sadness if anything. The loss of a friend, his mentor, someone he cherished so deeply, all of it was held into a single glaze lily.

Once as Morax, now as ordinary Zhongli, in those 6000 years he had seen it all. Even his grief for Guizhong faded into a memory.

Sometimes Zhongli felt like he was reading from a story book. Detatched while staring through an omniscient standpoint. It seems that his infinite years brought both experience and lonliness along the way.

"Zhongli? What are you staring at?"

But not when he was with you.

The glaze lily went on many journeys when he met you

He remembers the first encounter on a sunset night just as the petals  were about to bloom. You were there, crouched down, staring into his golden eyes.

“This is for you! Not many can be fully matured like this so make sure to take good care of it,” You held it out to him and he takes the stem out of your hold.

“A parting gift, I appreciate your thoughtfulness,” Zhongli sees it as a sign of a new contract, “It seems you possess a good eye when you were selecting them.”

He remembers the bouquet you presented during his birthday, the garland you placed on his head when he was reading, the vase by his desk always filled to the brim whenever you’d pay a visit to his parlour.

He remembers how the blue petals scattered across the floor the day you two married, everywhere he went so did this flower. Everytime he saw this flower, he thought of you.

Was it okay to feel like this? No one can ever replace Guizhong, was it okay to love again even when this being was much more perishable than she was? Zhongli was use to the experience of tragedy and loss as it was part of life.

Ah, so this must be what it feels like to live like a mortal.

To cherish every passing moment knowing that it won’t last forever. He will embrace it to the end. 

Old memories that were once dust rose from the soil, now reborn into a new beginning. Your curious gaze leans closer to his profile, sitting side-by-side under the blankets of your shared bed, the corners of his lips lift into a small smile.

“I’m only reminiscing, my dear. You don’t need to worry for me.” He kisses your forehead and tucked you to bed. The candle now blown out as his arms wrapped around your waist while spooning from behind.

Zhongli closed his eyes, knowing if he dreamt of a garden full of glaze lilies, there will be no sadness behind it.

{Childe}

Mother fucker would try to turn this into a sparring session.

This is why you NEVER invite Childe. If the valley were the air nomads, Childe was the fire nation. He’d stomp his muddy shoes in front of you just to get your attention simply because he knows it will piss you off.

An angry s/o means a potential fight. Win win situation.

Thus, no one blamed you for giving him a cold shoulder after that.

“Aha, looks like I went a little too far, didn’t I? Alright alright, I’ll stop trampling on your flowers from now on, you have my word. So talk to me, okay? Please?”

Alas you spare him a glance, “Make that a pinky promise.”

He didn’t know you were so serious about gardening. The Feiyun commerce guild took greate pride in cultivating the finest silk flowers in all of Teyvat and you being from that guild held up that legacy. Even if Childe tries to buy back the ones he stepped on, nothing could match the quality of your work.

Needless to say, your little hobby became a normal thing, Childe was very chaotic in nature so something more calm was nice to mediate that attitude. You taught him how to water plants, place the fertilizer and knowing which ones to pick.

But let’s be real, florist Childe isn’t that far-fetched because he is 10/10 waifu material.

Then Teucer comes in and tags along. He wanted to take some silk flowers back to Tonia until Childe informed him they’ll wilt on their way to Snezhnaya. 

“Aww, that’s too bad,” he would say while pouting, “Then I’ll give them to you big sister (Y/n)!”

“How sweet, you’ll be quite the charmer when you’re all grown up, Teucer. Maybe even better than your big brother.”

“Come on now, babe. You know that’s impossible.”

You twirled the silk flower right under your nose, the playful tone never leaving your voice, “Oh really? You and Teucer both share the same genes so yes, it is a possibility.”

An amusing glint dances in the ocean of his gaze as he gleefully remarks, “Well if you put it that way, I think Teucer would be at a very big disadvantage.”

“What do you-”

Before you could finish, Childe covers Teucer’s eyes and leans over to steal a sinful kiss, sliding his tongue inside. He purposely brushed his lips over yours after parting, completely satisfied by your flustered expression.

I love this bastard

{Xiao}

Hip hip hooray for having both Qiqi and Xiao in your party. Must be fun collecting their ascension materials.

“Adeptus Xiao!”

Your dumbass fell off the high cliff while obtaining the violet grass, Xiao yeets in from nowhere and caught you from death’s clutches.

Shall I mention that this had happened TWICE already?

Xiao carries you to safety and gently settles you down to your feet. He shot you the sharpest and most deadpan look he could muster because actions speak louder that words, he was trying to make a point.

You gave him a weary smile as the violetgrass batch limps in your hands along with the qingxins.

“I can hardly fathom how utterly stupid and moronic you can actually be. What did you think would happen when you tried to pull off that stunt? That you’d suddenly grow wings and be able to fly?”

His harsh words put you back into your place like a scolded child, “I’m sorry...I just wanted to help...”

Mah man does not watch what he says and always end up guilty. Your kicked puppy look is really going to be the death of him. He means well, just harsh when it comes to your well-being.

“Fine, give me those. I’ll take care of it.” He wouldn’t allow you to retort, he just took them from your hands and left without a word.

Let’s just say that Xiao isn’t the best when it comes to handling flowers as he would handle monesters, his touch isn’t the most delicate either and would prefer to get the job done fast. 

Sometimes he’d pull the roots our along with it, dirt and mud dripping from the bottom of the stem. Or the opposite. He pulls too hard and the stem just SNAPS and you’re left with just the blossom. 

“Does it matter? They’re only ingredients as you’ve said.”

That gave you a perfect excuse to teach him the ways of gardening and just be more delicate overall. 

At first he didn’t understand why humans were so meticulous about these things but when he saw a man present a bouquet to his wife, Xiao began to reconsider his methods. He doesn’t undersand mortal traditions as much and sticks to something simple and classy.

Don’t be surprised when you find a bunch on your desk for your birthday <3

{Albedo}

The sheer cold of dragon spine could naturally kill any botanical organisms aside from mints. The only flowers Albedo usually sees are the ones he artificially makes.

But being the genius he was, Albedo knew every variety of flowers to exist in the book. In this case, HE was the expert.

To him, the flower was the symbol of life. Albedo only knew the scientific facts of plant life and their natural functions, you on the otherhand were more familiar with the flower languages in a deeper meaning.

Today was a rare day where Albedo figured he’d step out of that freezing lab and conduct his research somewhere warmer, specifically Windrise where it’s quiet and away from the city.

“Dandelions may not be flowers but thei’re the main specialty of Mondstadt carrying the meaning of ‘freedom’! That’s probably how the Acting Grandmaster got her title.”

“Freedom...” He ponders, “I guess you cold say that.”

Albedo can’t understand why people would choose to associate meaning with plants. Where do their ideas come from? And why? Frankly, he can’t see the point in any of it. 

But at the same time, it made him happy to see you so enthusiastic about his research even if it wasn’t quite near the target. Albedo had always been so engrossed in his work and you’d just silently keep him company of the side, not many times where you both fot to nerd out on the same topic.

Emotions were still a mystery to him. It seems that even upon the most boring subjects, they don’t seem boring anymore when talking to his significant other. Soon enough, Albedo found himself putting his research aside and just listening to you talk. 

“And the Rose expresses romance and love. It’s common for lovers to give it to another during Valentines day.”

He hums cheekily, “Are you telling me that just to hint me to give one to you?”

“W-Well, I didn’t say that.”

He got nothing done. Perhaps his research can wait for another day, right now, he was more curious on what other meanings can a flower hold.

[totheblood]

two slow dancers | p.p.

chapter 5: i bet on losing dogs

summary: y/n stark has always hated peter parker but her hate is taken to a new level when she finds out he's the soul heir to her dad's legacy. sadly, its up to these two angsty teenagers to protect the world and they cant do that if they're fighting all the time.

or

y/n beats peter's ass and he likes it

enemies to lovers, slow burn

WORD COUNT: 2.3k

WARNINGS: mention of death, y/n is annoying so that's a warning...

You liked Peter’s room.

He was organized but messy, neat and unclean, but it felt so Peter to you. You were always wanting to like him, but ended up hating him and it was the duality of it all that made you feel like you were going crazy. He had papers thrown all over his desk, but nothing was on his floor. The bed wasn’t made but there wasn’t any clutter around the room. The curtains were drawn so the only light source was the small lamp on his bedside table, and it was quiet. It was so quiet. You felt a sense of calm here that you never quite got at home, sound always bustling there. You think that if you were left alone, you might actually get some sleep here. But this was Peter’s home, Peter’s safe space, and you were incredibly out of place here. You knew you needed to get over that to get your dad back but it was still on your mind as you walked through his room.

“You like my room?” Peter laughed, following behind you as you were looking at everything you could in as short of time as possible.

“Yeah, it’s cozy.” You smiled, picking up a lego Darth Vader shaking it at him. “Peter, I am your father.” you said in your deepest voice possible causing Peter to laugh.

“Hey, you’re kind of a dork.” He said innocently, but it ended up upsetting you. You were a nerd, and you were a dork, but the fact that you even showed Peter a glimpse of that made you insecure. You had barely started working together and you were already becoming more vulnerable around him. But as he watched your smile fade and you put the lego back in its place on the desk, he felt like he was already messing up.

Peter wanted this to work. He wanted you guys to be friends, but mostly for selfish reasons. Sometimes when he looked at you, he saw Tony’s eyes, and you had the same sense of humor and hard heart your dad had. Peter admired that about you. You were witty, smart, and innovative. You were a Stark if he had ever seen one and all he wanted to do was be close to that. It was selfish of him, he knew that, but he also felt bad for you. He knew you had Flash, which he hated, but you always looked so sad and alone, and that was before your dad died. After, there was an emptiness behind your eyes. When he saw you at the wake, in school, and even now, there was a loneliness to you and he just wanted to make you feel better. He didn’t know why, but he did.

Peter was always trying to place how he felt about you. He was supposed to hate you, you were mean, harsh, and unforgiving. But he never did. He liked the way you weren’t easy. That if someone wanted to know you, they would have to try. He liked that you were protective, and possibly one of the best fighters out of the whole compound. He remembered one time how you had your thighs wrapped around his neck, seemingly choking him, and how much he liked that feeling. The one thing he didn’t like about you was that he couldn’t not like you. You gave him every opportunity to turn and run the other way, yet every time he found himself running towards you. And he took every rude remark about him with grace, because he paid for his place there.

“I didn’t mean that in a bad way, you know. I’m a dork too.” He laughed it off, trying to make you feel better but he could tell he was coming up short. You didn’t want to act or feel this way, but you did and you couldn’t stop yourself. So you shrugged it off, shaking your head and turning around to him.

“It’s fine, don’t worry.” You looked around his room, for anything he could be working on. He said he was working on this all summer and you saw no evidence of that. “So where is all your research?” You questioned him, your eyebrows slightly raising.

“Oh uh, it’s” Peter moved towards his closet, an entire folding table falling out, a board behind it with a bunch of pictures and red string attached to it. There were pieces of metal and stolen tech from your dad’s lab hanging from the ceiling. On the shelves behind the table there were machines Peter was obviously working on that were all unfinished. You were in awe, Peter had worked extremely hard and you found yourself wanting to hug him again, but this time you refrained.

“Woah, Peter,” your voice died in your throat as you read Peter’s research on time travel, quantum physics, and a list of people he needed to contact in order to get the pieces for the machine. You saw all the sketches for the machine, the detailed etchings and writing he had taped and pinned all over the table and board. Lastly, you saw a checklist, so you picked it up and read it. It was all the things he needed to get done and research he had to do in order for the time machine to work.

“We can start here.” You turned, handing Peter the to-do list.

₍ ˀ ⎀♡ ₎ ⇢

You and Peter worked nearly all night, till it was four in the morning. You checked off about 4 items on the to-do list, figuring that you would go back to your lab at home and collect materials and bring it back to him. You worked on one of the machines he was building, fixing the bugs he had, and you both decided that you would have to build it outside of his room since it’s finished product would have to be much bigger. He read more on quantum physics, jotting down the most important information on a piece of paper that he ended up pinning on the board behind him. You and him had also agreed that you would have to continue working at your lab in the Stark building. You would have more space to work, and whatever resources you would need would be there. Peter had ended up feeling more grateful that he anticipated he would. The reality of things was that you were a billionaire, with access to million dollar material and he wanted to use that to his advantage.

You ended the night by sitting on his bed as he pinned up his last note on the board and looked to you, smiling.

“We did good today.” He had a wide grin on his face, happiness evident. He had been working on this for months and you had done more today than he had the entire time. You were smart and resourceful and caught the mistakes he had made that were evidently holding him back the entire time. He could tell you were run down and tired because you just nodded at him, your posture causing you to lean forward and a sleepy haze covering your eyes. You were mellow, so he saw this as his opportunity to have a real conversation with you.

“Can I ask you a question?” He practically whispered.

“Sure.” You breathed back.

“Why do you hate me so much?” Peter’s voice was so small, unsure if he even wanted to know the answer. But you just sighed, your eyes turning to look at him. He looked small once again, and you had spent an entire night without wanting to strangle him so you felt as if you could answer this question without the hate you usually had when you spoke to Peter.

“I don’t know if it’s hate exactly. It’s more like, anger or jealousy. My dad adored you, he talked about you at the dinner table and all of your accomplishments. He was more kind to you than he ever was with me and when I saw you, all I saw was the love I never received. I wanted to make him happy so bad and for years, I tried. But you came in, and made it look so easy. All it took was you saving the bad guy and he was obsessed with you. I wanted that, I deserved that. But you got it, everytime. It used to be a suspicion, just a thought I had and I was starting to think I had made it all up but then,” You stopped, needing to catch your breath.

“Then what?”

“He told me he wished I was more like you. I had interrupted the fight between him and Steve. I didn’t like that they were fighting, they were both so important to me. Steve was family. And dad was fighting him, recruiting a team to fight someone I thought we loved so dearly. So I stepped in between them and Steve ended up hitting me by accident. Dad was so mad, he was furious that I didn’t have any protection and yet still stepped in front of a super soldier. But he was more upset because it bought Steve time, while he was looking after me. But you. You did what my dad asked, you fought on his side, and you didn’t cause problems. Honestly, Peter, I misplaced my anger onto you, and I am truly sorry. It’s still hard for me to not see you as everything I’m not but I’m trying, okay? I promise”

Peter was silent for a moment, before he placed his hand over your hand that was resting on the bed. He took a deep breath before he looked at you, as if he was searching your face for something. His hand squeezed yours gently, as if he was trying to calm you.

“Your dad adored you, okay?” He started, his eyes glossing over.

“When I first met him, he told me he sent you to Midtown because he knew if anything went down, I would be there to protect you. He wanted you safe, not me. He cared so much about you, Y/N. He was working hard to make sure you were okay, all the time, physically. He just never stopped to check if you were okay, mentally. But he did, he loved you more than he loved anything and everytime you got hurt, or thought about putting yourself in a position where you could possibly be in danger, it scared him and he acted out. But trust me, you were everything to him.” Peter finished, somewhere in his speech his eyes drifting away from you, but they were now brought up to your tear-filled eyes.

You were letting out tears, but no sound and Peter had no idea what to do, so he rubbed the palms of his hands on your face in a desperate attempt to stop you from crying, but it wasn’t working. So, he just pulled you in, and let you cry onto his shirt and the silent cry became loud, as you sobbed into his shirt. You hadn’t realized that you needed to hear that your dad did love you, and that you felt awful knowing that you were hating him your whole life while he was loving you.

“Do you want to sleep here? I can get you a sleep shirt and I’ll sleep on the couch so you don’t have to worry.” Peter whispered to you after your crying had stopped, your face still firm in his chest.

“Can you just lay here with me until I fall asleep?” You asked and he just nodded, unsure of how this was playing out. So you both laid down on his bed, your jeans and bra still on, but not stopping you from hugging Peter as you fell asleep. Peter wasn’t as uncomfortable as he thought he would be, as he watched your chest rise and fall for a few minutes. You looked so peaceful, and he felt so bad for ever causing you pain, even if it wasn’t his fault. You were so small and beautiful, but fragile and sensitive. You hurt so much, even as much as Peter had and he wanted to protect you from that, but he was the cause for most of your pain. He thought about it as he fell asleep next to you, the smell of lavender strong in the air.

₍ ˀ ⎀♡ ₎ ⇢

You woke up an hour later, Peter thrashing and screaming in his sleep. His breathing was ragged and heavy as he jerked around the bed and you were frozen, not knowing what to do.

“MR. STARK, I DON'T WANT TO GO! HELP” he screamed and you realized he was in a nightmare that was probably just a memory for him. So you shook him, trying to get him out of it, but his sweaty body kept moving around.

“Peter!” you yelled, shaking him again, and this time he got up, sitting up quickly and panting heavily. He was crying and your face turned downward in a frown. He was shaking and crying and you didn’t know how to help. So you held his head to your chest, and he quickly accepted this time, wrapping his arms tightly around your waist, crying violently. You both had an exhausting night, so you pulled him down to lay down again his arms still tightly wrapped around your body. Your hands ran through his curly hair, and it was softer than you would imagine. This moment was so intimate and you felt so overwhelmed that you wanted to leave, but you didn’t. You kept playing with Peter’s hair till he fell asleep and you followed shortly after.

When Peter woke up, he woke up to a text of you saying you would see him on Monday and to meet at Stark Tower. He was upset to not see you there in the morning, but he understood that last night was probably a lot for you. But he never had anyone comfort him after a nightmare like that and he desperately wanted your hands in his hair once more.

His heart sank as he realized he might have feelings for you.

(¬_¬)ゞ♥︎ˀˀ ...

✎ . . . ♡: a/n: i like them so bad... i love them actually... i'm sorry i said i hated u y/n, u were clearly misunderstood angel... anyways? this chapter is important and . has ANYONE caught on that this whole thing is based off mitski songs? i just listen to her sad songs to write and :) its a great writing method for angst truthfully.

TAG LIST:

@runawayolives @osterfieldshollandgirl @ruininqs @bigassnocash @chipot-lol @starknik22 @enjoymyloves @hayhays @thexplosivegirl @baueoud @scarletglowss @juliannaamonroe @jackiehollanderr @supremethunda @avengerstanforlife @stillfindingmyway

[softer-ua]

I was thinking about how Katsuki has never seen Deku in the hospital before and how Deku might be surprised to see him, and how that would probably hurt Katsukis feelings.

Then I decided to be self-indulgent and write the scene out. It was supposed to be short but I got super self-indulgent, because I like making Katsuki feel and making it hurt 🥰

I don’t wanna be unexpected

Deku carefully cracks open his eyes slowly taking in a dark unfamiliar ceiling and the heavy aching of his limbs, he isn’t fully cast anymore but a routine stiffness that tells him he had been.

 He’s grown used to this routine over the last year, he doesn’t even bother trying to sit up. Instead, he just scans the room the best he can from his semi-horizontal position. 

Turning his head to the left he sees an empty visiting chair and a small window letting in the city’s lights. It’s the only light the room has so it must be well into the middle of the night. 

Continuing to the right he sees a small nightstand filled with get-well cards and gifts. It brings a smile to his cracked lips, he’d most certainly cry if his body had the water to spare. 

If you told Deku a year ago that he’d get into UA he might have believed you, but never in a million years would he believe you if you told him he was on friendly terms with at least 1/3 of all of UA’s hero course students. 

Sometimes that felt like the most unbelievable part of everything. Having his idol pass his legacy to him to beat an ancient evil? Crazy but within the realm of his imagination. 

Making close friends with half his class and being at a minimum a positive acquaintance to most of his peers? It was almost unthinkable for a kid who’d spent his whole life being scorned and left out by even his teachers. 

Choked up by his feelings, Deku tries to swallow the painful lump forming in his throat. He’s worried so many people and let them down by getting hospitalized yet again. 

He’s too dehydrated to cry but he can’t help the dry cracked warble that escapes him. It takes a concentrated effort to clear his throat and not break down completely. It wouldn’t be cathartic at this moment, just painful. 

A small groan from the foot of his bed pulls his attention away from reading what he could of the cards. 

What he sees doesn’t instantly register with his groggy mind. That’s not uncommon, usually, the longer he’s out the more disoriented he is upon waking, his body might have made a full recovery but the brain takes longer to re-engage with its surroundings. 

Deku doesn’t expect to see Kacchan of all people in his hospital room at all, let alone when he first wakes up in the dead of night, but the blonde tuft of hair sticking up from a familiar orange hoodie turned makeshift pillow cradled in well-toned arms makes the figure resting over the edge of his hospital bed unmistakable 

Deku would know that pale face pinched into a grimace anywhere. 

It adds to the layer of confusion he’s grown used to as part of waking up hospitalized. It also adds a layer of dread and an equal amount of relief. Things must be pretty bad if Kacchan is here, but Kacchan is here and he looks completely whole. It’s a best worst-case scenario. 

Kacchan lets out a small grunt as he pushes his face deeper into orange cotton. Deku’s heart squeezes at the sight of the blonde's obvious discomfort. 

Kacchan should be at home sleeping in a real bed, not hunched over in a visitor chair clutching a hoodie for a pillow. 

Without thinking Deku calls out “Kacchan?”, his voice just above a whisper, a selfish part of him hopes Kacchan will stay asleep a little longer. That he’ll stay where Deku can see him and knows he’s okay. But he knows it’s selfish. So he calls again a little louder, his voice hoarse and scratchy from lack of use. 

The blonde shoots up, eyes near frantic as he looks around before red irises settle their sites on him with more concern than Deku ever remembers seeing on Kacchan. Well, at least outside a fight and directed at him.

He hopes they're not about to fight, but when it comes to Kacchans temperament… well he’d be a fool to dismiss the possibility of it. 

For a moment all Kacchan does is stare at him. It makes something cold and heavy settle in his stomach. Nothing scares Kacchan, and yet he looks completely shaken. 

“Deku? Are you really awake this time?” Katsuki tries to not make his whisper sound as desperate as he feels. There’s no point getting worked up over another dream or worse a still drug-addled Deku, but this Deku seems to recognize him for the first time, and although tired his green eyes shined with a level of coherency that’s been missing for a few days now.

Katsukis’s chest grew tight seeing it. It paled in comparison to the glimmer of brilliance that usually shone in those beautiful emeralds, but when compared to the unfocused glazed look he had been sporting the last few days? Well, Katsuki thought he just might collapse with relief. 

This is what he’d been waiting for, Deku’s been physically healed for at least 2 days now but consciously he’s been pretty touch and go. “Uh, I think so?” That’s definitely not the kinda question Deku had been expecting, but he has his own question he wants to get to before they get into that. 

Pushing through the dry burning in his throat Deku rattled off the most pressing questions. “How are you feeling? Is everyone okay? Did LOV getaway? What’s going on?” 

Annoyance flashes in Katsukis’s eyes before quieting with acceptance, of course, the nerd wants to know how everyone else is and the current status. Katsuki wanted the same when he first woke up, they were heroes in training, after all. Their own lives would always take a backseat to their self-appointed responsibilities. 

“Hold on. You sound like sh– not good.” Katsuki got up and got the nerd a cup of water and then helped him sit upright, trying to decide on what to tell him. Completely missing the way Deku flushed at his uncharacteristic gentleness. 

Katsuki decided on the bare minimum. 

“I don’t wanna talk about that sh- not good fight right now. All you need to know is that everyone is fine. You’re the only one still layed up, worrying everyone half to death. You’ve been out for almost a week, you woke up a few times but you were all loopy calling people by the wrong names.” 

Calling him by the wrong name. Deku must have said an incoherent hello to half the class only sometimes guessing who he was speaking to correctly or just talking to no one at all before immediately falling back asleep. Deku had of course asked about him more than a few times but not once did the bastard see him sitting right in front of him. 

It had taken every ounce of willpower Katsuki possessed to not throttle him, but he’d promised All Might that for the sake of Auntie Inko he wouldn’t upset the nerd. 

The pride Katsuki had just momentarily taken in thinking to get Deku water, the gentleness he took help the dweeb sit up, and managing not to swear when recounting the transgressions to boot turned ashen when he saw the way Deku shied away with guilt. 

A stubborn part of him felt righteous and believed Deku should feel guilty, a larger part felt a sense of failure in breaking his promise to All Might literally the first time he actually spoke to Deku. 

“Wait, if everyone else is okay what are you doing here?” Deku feels himself relaxing despite his guilt, contentment settling in the spaces where trepidation previously roosted, he trusted Kacchan to be honest. 

If he says everything’s fine then it is, but the lack of pressing news makes Kacchan passed out at the end of his bed even more confusing. 

The painkillers he’s on make thinking feel like everything’s ruining through Windows 95’, he can practically hear his brain's fan whirring. His mind can’t really pull up fresh thoughts, just old truths, Kacchans never visited before and he apparently has no reason to now.

Katsuki sighs as he slumps back into his chair. Deku’s still clearly confused and he isn’t sure he has the energy to repeat himself right now, then considering how he failed the first time he decides might as well try.

“Everyone is fine, everything is as fine as it can be at the moment. You’re in the hospital recovering from the fight with supercharged crusty mcdusty, but you are also apparently going to be fine” Dekus staring at him like he has two heads so he keeps talking. “The league is being dealt with, I’m not talking about the fighting until tomorrow at the earliest, neither of us is in shape for that conversation and I don’t know much myself yet”

Deku’s pinch brows and slight pout tell him he’s got questions, questions he can’t answer. Anytime he even thinks about how the fight went down he feels like he’s going to explode.

Trying to reign in every ounce of self control he possesses he slumps further in his chair rubbing his face and counts to five. Then kicks Dekus hospital bed for good measure, before speaking again.

“Deku just rest, you're clearly still out of it and I don’t wanna repeat myself a third time.” Seriously how many other ways can he say everything is, by a very loose definition, fine. How much clearer can he make it that he’s not giving anything else up?

“Uh you didn’t have to repeat yourself? I believed you the first time, Kacchan” Deku couldn’t help but feel like Kacchan was purposely misinterpreting his question, but why? It shouldn’t be a hard question, he’d really only asked to make conversation and clear up some brain cobwebs.

“Then why did you ask–“ Something ugly and broken twists in Katsuki’s gut as he slowly repeated Dekus' question in his head ‘what are you doing here’.

“I just didn’t expect to see you here if you didn’t have to be.”

Deku wasn’t, hadn’t been, asking why someone was there with him but why he, Katsuki, was there. Deku wanted to know why he was here instead of literally anyone else. Deku didn’t know that Katsuki had basically taken up permanent residence in here with him, probably couldn’t see the cot laying at the foot of his bed.

White-hot rage coursed through him in an instant, after everything they went through Deku thought he’d just ditch him to some extras in scrubs? Katsuki had a bad temper on good sleep, exhausted he was ready to put Deku back in a coma.

He struggled with the feeling of his palms heating, but the second before he felt like detonating Katsuki caught Deku’s eyes in full.

As always they show everything the nerds feeling and the familiarity soothes him in a way he can’t explain. Doesn’t ever want to explain.

It used to drive him up the wall like Deku was purposely giving him messages in a language he couldn’t read. Shoving in his face how inadequate he is in comparison.

Katsuki knows now that’s not the case and over the last few months, he’s actually been learning how to read Deku for the first time in his life.

And he’s discovering that even though it’s an advanced read for him he likes the challenge and even more he likes the victorious warmth that spreads down to his toes when he can tell just what Dekus is thinking without any words.

Right now Deku does look slightly confused and yet still so open and trusting, and his crooked shy smile proves that he is actually happy Katsukis here. His confusion is just that, confusion.

Always glad to see him, always caught off guard by his presence.

As much as the familiarity soothed the recognition hurt.

A couple of months on good terms doesn’t erase all the bad years, he knows this, he’s told himself as much a dozen-plus times.

He’s never visited Deku in the infirmary or the hospital before now.

At first just because his stubborn pride insisted that he couldn’t show weakness/care for someone else because he was above them all, that he had to constantly act like Deku was below him. Even when he recognized Deku as a rival he didn’t visit, partly because of lingering pride but mostly because he felt like he didn’t deserve to.

He was too much of a coward/slave to his pride to risk being turned away.

This time he hadn’t even considered Deku might not want him, he had just selfishly insisted he stay by his side for his own peace of mind.

To see Deku wanted him here but couldn’t understand why Katsuki would want to be here himself left his fingers feeling numb as all the adrenaline drained out of him.

Deku studied Kacchan intently, his explosive rival had turned to him and risen half out his chair looking like he was about to shout at him but when their eyes locked the words had apparently died on his tongue.

Now Kacchan was just staring at him with an unreadable expression entirely unmoving after he plopped back in his seat, never breaking eye contact. It was clear now that Kacchan hadn’t understood his question at first but now he seemed lost at how to answer.

Deku wanted to wait for Kacchan to speak but experience told him he shouldn’t hold his breath.

Besides it was late, as much as he desperately didn’t want him to go, Kacchan should be safely asleep in his own room. It’d be selfish to ask him to stay.

Kacchan probably hadn’t meant to stay as late as he did, he was just prone to falling asleep wherever he was once 9 pm rolled around. Deku knew first hand that Auntie Mitsuki had a very strict bedtime policy that had long been physically instilled into Kacchans psyche.

“Kacchan, it’s late you should head back to the dorms and get some real sleep. I feel fine.” At the sudden incredulous tweak of a blonde eyebrow, Deku rushed to elaborate, “I mean I'm of course tired, and a sore but I feel whole. This is a familiar routine for me, I’m okay.”

Katsuki thought back to what he told All Might a lifetime ago, “he never considers himself”.

Here Deku was laying in a hospital bed concerned about his sleep and knowing just what he wanted/needed to hear, that Deku was okay, straight from the source.

It’s all he’d wanted to hear for almost a week now and he had to press his lips shut into a tight line to keep the embarrassing whimper he felt clawing at his throat from escaping.

“I know that you can go to the front desk and the attendant will call for a UA shuttle, doesn’t matter the time, Todoroki has left as late as 3 am”

Oh if that didn’t have something ugly snapping its jaws and thirsty for blood inside Katsuki. At heart, he’s always been explosively petty.

As much comfort as Todoroki being almost equally worried about Deku had been over the last week anytime anyone so much as even accidentally hinted at the ways Katsuki had failed to be there for Deku before now had him seeing red.

Reminding him how others had stepped up and into the places, Katsuki felt he should have been, felt like a slap in the face. But coming from Deku the anger he felt turned inward.

Where he usually saw red, all he saw was green. Not the warm emerald hue of Deku sitting in front of him, but dark bitter jealous green.

Petulant ‘whys’ clawed at his ribs. Why did people who’d only know Deku for a year have a more prominent roles in the nerds life than he did after knowing him forever, why did Deku have to like those extras so damn much, why didn’t he realize sooner how important Deku was, why did he have to care about any of that at all, why did Deku have to bring up that goddamn candy cane, why did Deku want to send him away, why wasn’t Deku even half as desperate to stay by his side as he was, why why why?!

He voiced none of these thoughts, instead just continued staring grumpily ahead. Hoping Deku didn’t notice how heavy his breathing had gotten or how he tightened his grip on the chair's armrests.

Deku took another sip of water before continuing. “I’m happy you’re here, really, it means a lot to me.” He let a genuine full smile slip on his face, he didn’t want Kacchan thinking he wasn’t grateful for his presence.

He really was happy that Kacchan was the first person he got to see upon waking up.

Circumstantial or not the fact that Kacchan was here with him now was a deep comfort to him and a pleasant way to wake up. Usually, it was to his classmates' forced positivity or his overly fussy weeping mother and that never got easier to deal with. As confusing as the change was it was a nice one. And he told him as much.

Why did Deku always know exactly what to say to people? When he, Katsuki Bakugo, couldn’t say anything at all.

Normally the instant relief his body felt at Deku’s words just pissed him off, but tonight exhaustion took its toll.

He felt the tears he’d been fighting all week fall hot and sticky down his cheeks, embarrassment shame and guilt tinted his face a splotchy pink. When he felt the lump in his throat give way to a choked hiccup he didn’t just crack, he shattered.

Ugly sobs racked through him and he buried his face in his hands and dug his fingers into his hair.

Why was the only familiar part of this him breaking down in front of Deku? He’s known Deku his whole life. He should have been the first and last person in Deku’s hospital room every time from the very beginning if for nothing more than obligation. Any one of those times could have been the last time.

Deku would have slipped away from him, and Katsuki would have been one of the last ones to know.

He hadn’t because he knew it’d always end up like this, him blubbering like a baby over Dekus hospital bed and he couldn’t risk it before. Too desperate to keep that little voice inside him that picks apart his every sign of weakness quiet.

It never goes away and UA had made it so much louder, he couldn’t give more feed to the fire. That’s exactly what Deku does to him.

On bad days Katsuki feels the little claws of insecurity scratching at his brain comparing him to Deku, that Deku’s surpassing him because he’s weak and he’s going to get left behind, he’s going to be forgotten.

On equally bad days he surpasses Deku completely and the voice switches gears, telling him he doesn’t deserve Dekus praises. That he’s a hopeless brat with an oversized ego and Deku’s words are empty. Katsuki hasn’t earned them, and he never will, Deku’s just placating him.

Katsuki doesn’t have good days.

Why did he even care though, Deku has seen him cry a dozen times and never once has it changed anything, hell Deku cries all the time.

But Deku’s never been debilitated by crying the way he is, Deku always keeps moving like he doesn’t even notice he’s crying. But he, Katsuki, can barely breathe around his tears.

Because he’s weak and a coward and everything Dekus not. Deku’s light years ahead of him in being a better person and by proxy a better hero and he’s never going to catch up.

Delirious with exhaustion Katsukis thoughts keep spiraling out of his control, growing more and more vicious.

He doesn’t even deserve to call himself Dekus' rival, Deku’s going to leave him behind, Deku’s going to keep taking on the world by himself because he’s not strong enough to fight alongside him, Dekus going to get himself killed and it’s all his fault. He’s hyperventilating through his sobs now.

“Wha- Kacchan, what’s wrong?” Deku suppressed a small groan at stretching stiff unused muscles as his scrambled brain had him lurch forward to grasp Kacchans wrists, he can see where blunt nails dig into his scalp. Gently as he could, Deku replaces callused hands with his crooked ones.

“Hey look at me.” He lifted Kacchans head to meet his eyes and took deep slow dramatic breaths encouraging Kacchan to match his breathing. Red eyes frantically scanned his face and clutched his wrists tightly like a lifeline, desperate that Deku doesn’t pull away.

Slowly their breathing synchronized, the tears kept flowing though, Deku was certain he was crying now too but he made no move to confirm this. He just kept watching Kacchan, keeping his own breathing steady. This wasn’t the first time he’s had Kacchan match his breathing, but it is the first time he’s been this close and this obvious about it. Then again Kacchans never looked this desperate.

In the past when he’s noticed Kacchans breathing has sped up and his gaze looks far away he’ll nonchalantly sit down next to him like he hasn’t noticed Kacchans problem at all, then he’ll practice his own breathing exercises a little louder than would be considered polite. Consciously or not Kacchan follows suit.

He’d learned the tactic when he was 7 from his mom helping one of their neighbors on the way to the store, a very nice lady he called Auntie Kay. She had some kind of disorder that gave her bad anxiety and had apparently forgotten to take meds that morning and got overwhelmed by the noise. His mom used to be an assisted living caregiver before she became, well his mom, so she had experience with this kind of thing.

Later she explained what she’d been doing. That you're someone they have a long history of trusting you don’t want to get in their space, just reaffirm to them that they’re safe and try to get them to slow their breathing, focus on breathing out.

1, because It’s hard to concentrate if you don’t feel safe. 2, the human body doesn’t know if it has enough oxygen, it knows if it’s getting enough air and if it has too much carbon dioxide in it, and you breathe out carbon dioxide.

That day his mom was like a mini hero, saving the day with a smile. It made him more aware that there’s more to being a hero than just fighting villains, it’s about saving people.

He can’t fight villains from a hospital bed, he could still be there for others. He could be there for Kacchan.

After a minute he hesitantly thumbed away the freshest tears but that seemed to just make things worse as another sob racked through Kacchan and he tightened his grip on his wrists. It wasn’t until Kacchan finally spoke and he reflexively snapped his jaw shut that Deku realized he’d been making soft shushing noises.

Katsuki tightened his grip on Deku’s wrists as he choked on one last sob thinking that Deku was finally pulling away, but when he just continued to thumb his tears away and making soft little noises he let himself believe Deku wasn’t going to dismiss him again.

Katsukis never let himself be comforted like this by anyone, not even as a child, but he was too tired to fight it, too distraught to care about how selfish he’s sure he’s being, and too certain that Deku was the only thing keeping him tethered to reality.

He’s confronted his own mortality a few times this year but none of it had compared to being confronted in real-time with Dekus. Living with Deku so close to death over the last week had taken its toll on everyone but Katsuki especially had been unraveling more and more each day.

The first day he’d been ready to bring the entire hospital down if he didn’t get to Deku’s side immediately. It only got worse from there.

He’d grown more cantankerous than he’d ever been, but the fire in him had been dying out. By the time Deku first woke up and didn’t recognize him the only thing he’d say to anyone was the same mumbled shut up, only sometimes accompanied by half-hearted sparks daring anyone to try to remove him from the room.

Auntie Inko was distraught too but she had let All Might take her home after that first visit and encouraged her to rest there saying something about how no mother should have to see this side of hero work or whatever.

The doctors were probably just worried about what all those tears might do to their equipment, Katsuki certainly had been even if he hadn’t said so.

Katsuki had promised Inko he’d stay by Deku’s' side, she’d looked conflicted about something but they both silently agreed that was a discussion for another day.

Katsuki doesn’t know what to say now but desperately feels like he needs to say something.

He’s terrified it’ll all come out wrong and freak Deku out, Deku who just woke up for real for the first time! He’s terrified of saying nothing and losing his chance to say anything at all because Deku just woke up for real for the first time in a week!

Deku deserves to hear him apologize for everything, but he doesn’t feel like he’s ready to be forgiven and if Deku doesn’t forgive he doesn’t know what’ll happen to him, he may very well implode.

If Deku turns him away then the kindest thing the universe could do for him would be to ignite every nitroglycerin-soaked cell in his body and just let him go. But the universe isn’t kind and will instead make him force himself out of this room and into a UA shuttle and into a life where everything green fades into bleak gray.

���Kacchan, your muttering” Deku says with the softest smile Katsuki has ever seen, and he feels like all his broken pieces have begun melting.

Deku stays silent, thumbs rubbing gentle circles. He seems content with doing nothing more than smiling at him until the sun comes up. And Katsuki feels another sob rip through him as he forces himself to speak.

“I meant it when I told you to keep your eyes on me.” The desperation in his own voice sounds like nails on a chalkboard to him. “I want you to know to look for me, and that I’ll be there. Even outside of heroing. I want you to expect me at every turn, forever. I don’t wanna be unexpected”

Deku leans forward and Katsuki thinks he’ll stop breathing all over again until their foreheads bump together. Deku’s looking right in his eyes, and he’s so close Katsuki's eyes can barely focus on him. They just stay like that for a small eternity while Katsuki’s heart beats wildly for entirely different reasons. One’s he’s not sure he’s ready to understand.

“Okay, Kacchan”

[lurking96]

Chapter 320 or why it is better than thought but not great

As last time I talked about my opinion with chapter 319 this time I will talk about chapter 320. This is my opinion. I do not claim it to be the absolute undeniable truth. This piece might be seen as Anti Bakugou so again it is under the cut and the tags are added so they can be filtered out.

So how we ended the last chapter we start out in the rain again. We see Iidas more serious face and of course we see Bakugou who calls Izuku “drawn differently” that might even be some form of Meta joke on how Izuku looks well more “edgy” now than before. Also still calls him a nerd. We then have Izuku attempting to flee by using his new Smokescreen technique. Bakugou in turn uses a new technique of his to just blow it away. An explosion. Here now is my question How? How does Bakugou make an explosion that just doesnt add more smoke. I hope that gets explained or thats just another asspull on his account. A more important thing in that scene is that Bakugou calls him some OFA bigshot and that Izuku must see everyone just as NPCS. This is Bakugou projecting on Izuku. This is how Bakugou acts towards people. Thinking he is some big shot and claiming everyone an extra. It shows that while Bakugou claims he understands Izuku he does not understand him. He projects his own personality on Izuku now that he thinks him to be “strong”. Bakugou thinks that kindness doesnt exist. That you cant do stuff for others without a reward attached. That people look down on others. Because he does those things. And to validate his worlview of course others must act like this too. He still sees him as weakling but also strong. Strong like Bakugou sees himself. Also for once Izuku is doing his own thing without Bakugou inserting himself into the narrative at first. That must probably be a shock to Bakugou who doesn’t want to be an extra or side character. It feels a bit like the whole “He reached his hand out to me because he looked down on me.” bit he had going on with Izuku and still does not seem to be over with. A thing after this we see is how Koda says that Nedzu said that he can come back. There seems to be miscommunication there. Izuku did not leave because Nedzu threw him out. He left to protect them as he is AFOs main target and AFO nuked an island before to deal with a holder of OFA. UA had compromised security before so there really is no reason for Izuku to trust them now with their security. It also doesnt make sense for AFO to attack UA now. It would just show that Izuku didnt need to isolate and should have been there. But AFO wants to isolate him. So it would be better to attack when Izuku would be back at UA. To show that he brought the main target to the promised safe house. So it would kinda play into AFOs hands to get him back. We have this followed by Sero holding down Blackwhip. (Dont get me wrong would love to give Sero a quirk awakening and more screen time but it felt a bit weird). We then have Jiro and Ojiro (finally screentime for him) talk about what Izuku did for them. How he helped them. Izuku says that he should leave that he paints a target on their back. That he doesnt want AFO to kill them. Dark Shadow tries to grab Midoriya while Sato brings up Eri. The girl Midoriya saved. Also one could say a bit of subtle emotional manipulation though not malicious. Bringing up the little girl that surely misses him. Yaoyarozu then ends up putting him in a chair. A chair with sedatives. A chair reminiscent of  a special chair in the high security prison Tartarus. The type of Asylum chair All for One has been bound to too and probably be sedated. Yaoyarozu also says that they are allowed to aid the other heroes with their quirks. Meaning they actually do not need to drag him back to UA. They could help him rest and make him eat in other ways. Support from a safe distance. A compromise really. That so far they maybe havent thought about. However Izuku breaks out of the chair. We then have Shoji, Kaminari and Tokoyami bind him with Shojis insulated tentacles and dark shadow. Probably trying to use Kaminari as human taser to take him out. Izuku escapes this. shoji asks if he sees them as victims that need protection. This feels more sincere then what bakugou said. Not the baggage attached. Not the projection. And yes. They are not defenseless. They are not weak. However they still are first years that never should have been involved in any kind of war. And against AFO well they would probably easily get dusted. A more supportive role would be fitting. Take out the villains around AFO.  Now comes an important part. Danger sense has not been going off. Izuku claims that it would have gone off if he felt danger or malice emit from them. He understands that they are worried about him. But again he also understands that he is a big target. He was out the whole time and saw that AFO won’t just give them a break. That he will kill people. Danger sense not going off is a no brainer. Of course there is no malicious intent. Class 1A were/are his allies. They want what they think is best for him. However that doesnt make their opinion absolute. You can have good intentions but how you do it and how it ends up can still be a huge fiasco. Izuku needs rest. A bath. Food. A doctor. But UA just doesnt have the security. The past shows it. UA is a safe house filled with civilians. Izuku knows that AFO wont stop at the barricade. That while yes there are pro heroes and trained students. AFO is a natural disaster. He wouldn’t just give in. There is no sunk cost fallacy. AFO will try to get his claws onto him no matter how many assasins, nomu or otherwise he needs to send out. The chapter ends with Izuku being caught in Shotos ice wall. Shoto telling him that he should share his burden with them. Showing his character developement. Froppy tells him that she won’t weep anymore and that he matters to her and that they won’t let him do this alone. Overall this chapter was different than I expected. We didnt get an all out fight. We didnt get the “Snap” so far. Class 1A tried to get hold of him. They told him that he is important to them and how he helped them. How they do about things might not be all that helpful. He will not go back to UA willingly. He should not go back to UA. They still seem to lack so much context about his reasoning for things. They do not understand him. Them telling him how he helped them. How much he means to them is an interesting thing. A bit ago Hori said where the name “Deku” originates from. A well known poem Ame ni mo Makezu  by Kenji Miyazawa. The verse “minna ni deku-no-bō to yobare” or in english “Called useless by all”

Here we have the poem. A person that helps others without ever getting or wanting recognition. A person that is not special except to reach out to help. A person that is just doing the right thing. Endeavor got credit for Stain, Overhaul vs Izuku is not well known, Gentle criminal got defeated without recognition for Izuku. Hardly anyone knows it was him at the sludge villain incident and most pro heroes there scolded him for being the one to do the right thing. Dagobah beach. It´s not widely known he cleaned it. Izukus desire is to rescue and help people. He is not into it for money, fame, recognition, legacy. While he does have a legacy to All Might he is also his own person. He tried to show himself to the world at the sports festival but that was also on All Mights wish. He didnt succeed with that. He is known as the bone breaker and not the second coming of All Might. He is not self serving. He wants to be useful and not a bother. Someone seen as useless that still does his best. It shows. They do give him recognition in this chapter. Do praise him. But this is not what he wants. This is not what he does it for. He isn’t coerced in coming back thanks to that. While he of course needs positive reinforcement it doesnt seem to be such an active desire to him. It´s more important for him that he sees them safe. The first line of the poem “Unbeaten by the rain” might also have some importance. Maybe it is foreshadowing that he won’t be brought back by the class. Maybe he escapes or he shows and makes them understand why he he does things. Maybe they find a compromise. As we go back to look at the chapter once more. Four people are kinda lacking. Hagakure and Aoyama. Both theorised in the fandom to be the traitor. Maybe danger sense would have activated and that would have called them out. Maybe it will next chapter. Iida we only saw in one panel. And Uraraka is not there either except for one beginning panel. Those two are his first friends. People like to compare this to the kamino arc when the squad rescued Bakugou. People saying that Bakugou will reach out to Midoriya like back at the kidnapping. However. That was not the thing. Kirishima reached out his hand as Midoriya knew that even in a life and death situation Bakugou would never take his willingly. So yes it would make more sense that either Iida, Uraraka or even Todoroki hold their hand out or even all three together.Maybe thats why Uraraka and IIda were not really there. Maybe they have their big moment next chapter. I personally dont hope it´s Urarakas love confession. That really would feel a bit shallow to me and out of left field. Overall I did not dislike this chapter. There was not the big beatdown like some expected. However how they as a class go about it might not have the best result. I am interested in how it continues in the next chapter. I would prefer Class 1A supporting him by not dragging him back to UA. By helping him rest and take down villains that don’t need the person to have OFA to survive the encounter. Again this is an opinion. Not claimed to be the absolute truth but also not without some proof.

[hopelesshawks]

History of Us Part 11- Qualifiers

Summary: Once upon a time Todoroki and (y/n) were best friends. Now they haven’t spoken in years. When (y/n) is forced to transfer to UA, will she and Shoto reconnect or will their troubled past keep them apart? A childhood friends to enemies to lovers hybrid fic.

If you don’t want to see History of Us content blacklist #hopelesshou

Masterlist Kofi

The moment right before the start of the sports festival is shockingly nerve-wracking. Each step through the tunnels, closer to the main field of the arena, fills you with more dread and excitement and anticipation. You keep your head raised high, wearing your UA gym uniform proudly as the roaring of the crowd starts to meet your ears. With Bakugo on your right and Kirishima on your left, you almost feel invincible. This is your chance, your opportunity, to show everyone what you’re capable of and show all of Japan that you refuse to be defined by your father’s tainted legacy. Present Mic’s voice booms over the speakers, his grinning face plastered across the monitors as you finally step out onto the field, astroturf crunching beneath your feet as he sings the praises of hero course class 3A. The crowd’s enthusiastic cheering is addictive. You make a point to soak it in while you can. Right now each and every one of them see you as a hero. While some of the students lamented not being able to wear their costumes for the event, you were secretly glad for it. The uniform made you a generic UA student; for now, unburdened by the past.

“This never gets old,” Kirishima grins next to you as you all step into the central area and the other classes begin to filter out into the coliseum as well. A few of them grumble, giving the hero classes jaded looks, but even their ire cannot dampen the overall atmosphere. You instinctively find yourself seeking out a familiar pair of heterochromatic eyes, eventually finding them next to Midoriya, Iida, and Uraraka. You can’t help the way your heart trips over itself when you lock eyes with Shoto. Memories of the night before and of waking up in his arms float to the forefront of your mind and you scowl before shaking your head to physically dispel the image from your mind. You turn away from him, missing the hurt that flashes across his eyes. He redirects his attention back to Principal Nezu, chief umpire as usual for the third years. “Now Shoto Todoroki will give the class pledge,” Nezu announces before ceding the floor.

The school had made the executive decision not to let Bakugo give the pledge after that first year. Midoriya had nearly passed out when it was his turn second year (as much as he has grown, public speaking still isn’t quite his forte). This made Todoroki the obvious choice for this year’s class pledge. As he approaches the mic he can’t help but think of Bakugo’s first speech. He remembers Midoriya telling him later the apparent narcissistic declaration that Bakugo had made to be number one had actually been to box himself into a corner to make sure he followed through. The more he thinks on it the more Shoto relates to that desire. His eyes scan the crowd until he spots his father amongst the rest. He makes sure to make direct eye contact, his eyes boring into his father’s as he leans down to speak into the mic. “I pledge... that we will create a new legacy of our own and destroy legacies of old,” he says confidently. He thinks he sees a flash of hurt and disappointment in Endeavor’s eyes even from the great distance between them. He turns to stride down the stairs of the stage and he can’t help but seek you out amongst the crowd of fellow students, hoping you got the message.

You tense a bit as your heart skips another beat. That boy is going to give you heart palpitations. Bakugo nudges you harshly in the side, causing you to jerk your head to scowl at him. “You good, nerd?” he asks, concern softening his usual bite a fraction. “I’m great. Ready to start kicking ass,” you reply, pushing down all your Shoto-related feelings for examination later. “Good,” is all Bakugo replies before his attention returns to Nezu. You can’t help but smile a little at Bakugo’s concern. He’s a surprisingly good friend and you’re grateful Kirishima introduced the two of you. When the direct elimination round comes around you’ll be merciless, but you have full confidence the two of you will make it through the qualifiers and you know the two of you and Kirishima will make for a great team for whatever the second round will be. “Don’t forget loser. I better see you on the fucking podium,” you remind him with a smirk. “You ain’t gotta worry about me idiot. Worry about yourself,” he replies although there’s no heat behind the words and he’s smirking just as much as you.

As the first game is announced you resolve yourself to staying middle of the pack for now. You don’t want to draw too much attention and let everyone discover your identity too quickly. You’re keenly aware that the second round is almost always a team event and without knowing how many people will be on a team, you can’t rely on Bakugo and Kirishima. Furthermore, any team you’re on would only become a target. Bakugo would kill you if he knew you have no intentions of trying your all in the qualifying round of course but you have to be strategic. No one pays much attention to the lower ranks from round 1, it’ll be easier to slip under the radar. Then, in round 2, you’ll kick it up a notch to prove your worth. At that point winning will become the only important matter. Creating a new legacy while destroying the old, as Shoto put it.

So that’s exactly what you do. The first game is a so called “Tower of Terror” that had been constructed in the preceding weeks. The task is simple enough in theory: scale the tower, cross from there to the ramp connected to the stadium, and return to the field. Only rule is that falling off the tower entirely is an immediate elimination. The amount of people being promoted out of the qualifying round is, as usual, a secret but you do the math to get a good idea of how many would optimally be removed and think you have a good estimate to ensure you’ll remain relatively anonymous. Your strategy pays off and you finish in the 30s out of the approximately 50 who qualify. As you finish your slide down the ramp, glowing faintly as you heal the minor injuries you’ve collected, a fuming Bakugo is storming up to you and you roll your eyes.

“The fuck you doing half and half?” he demands as you dust yourself off. “None of your goddamn business Pomeranian,” you fire back. “What happened to trying to be the best huh? Didn’t think you were one for dirty tricks,” he accuses. You feel your temper starting to genuinely flare at that comment. “I’m not pulling dirty tricks I’m trying to survive asshole. Not all of us can afford to be showy right out the gate,” you seethe. “I didn’t take you for a coward.” “I didn’t take you for an idiot.” “Say that shit again and I’ll blast you out the fucking stadium.” “I’d like to see you fucking try.” Both of you grip hold of the front of each other’s shirts, your right hand raised as your quirk makes shadows pool in it and one of his hands raised already popping off explosions. Before either of you can draw more attention to yourselves or actually act on your anger, you’re frozen in place. Literally. “All that work you did to keep your identity under wraps will be for nothing if Present Mic or Nezu comment about you and Bakugo fighting between games. Especially if they decide to disqualify you over it,” Shoto says as he approaches the both of you before melting the ice keeping you and Bakugo from pummeling each other. “I don’t recall fucking asking you,” you spit back, whirring to face your former friend. “I’m only trying to help,” Shoto responds placatingly but it’s too late to quell your anger. “Well fucking stop trying to,” you tell him before storming off. You need to focus on the next event anyway and not stupid Shoto with his stupid face and his stupid need to stick his nose in your fucking business.

The second event is...

Rough.

To say the least.

You and Bakugo were still too pissed at each other to make a proper team so you’d ended up with Yaoyorozu, Denki, and Sero. You admired their quirks and objectively they were strong, but it wasn’t exactly a perfectly complementary combination of skills. Each member of the team was given a target they were required to protect, almost exactly like the provisional licensing exam held during your first year, except with one major twist. Every member of your team was linked together by a short leash attached to their wrists. Last four teams standing would advance to the finals. Without his costume or support items to help direct his lightning Denki’s quirk was difficult to utilize without risking stunning the entire team. Sero’s quirk was more useful but the placement of the leash made it difficult for him to use it without tugging around the hands of the teammates on either side of him. You and Yaoyorozu, the only two whose quirks weren’t actively impeded, struggled to compensate for the other two and coordinate your actions. In the end, the four of you had barely qualified, leaving you frustrated.

So much for crafting a new legacy.

As Present Mic gleefully announces that the teams of Midoriya, Bakugo, Monoma, and Yaoyorozu will be moving on, a picture of all those advancing flashing on the monitors, you can’t help but sink deeper and deeper into regret and frustration. The others head to the cafeteria as the lunch break is announced but you storm off in the opposite direction in hopes of getting an opportunity to cool off and clear your head before the break ends and the next game begins. The universe, however, seems to have other plans because instead you crash into another, much larger body. As you look up your apology shrivels up and dies on your tongue as you find yourself staring into the eyes of the only man who inspires similar ire in you as your father does.

Enji Todoroki aka Endeavor aka the (second) largest tool in the entirety of Japan.

“Where are you sneaking off to?” he asks, making no attempt to mask his suspicion of you. “None of your fucking business,” you retort. You move to step around him but he quickly steps back in front of you. “The cafeteria is the opposite direction,” Endeavor informs you. “Gee thanks, I had no idea even though I literally go to this fucking school,” you reply, each word dripping with sarcasm. “Then what could possibly have you traveling this direction instead?” “Like I said. None of your fucking business.” “Your suspicious behavior is my business. I made a mistake with a (y/l/n) before, I won’t make one again,” Endeavor swears and you reel back almost as if struck. “I am not my father,” you spit out. Your quirk activates unbidden in response to your anger, black shadows curling out of your clenched right hand and forearm. “Sure looks like it to me,” Endeavor scoffs, looking pointedly at the shadowy tendrils rising out of the right side of your body. “What the hell do you think you’re doing?” a familiar voice asks from behind you and you wish the earth would swallow you up. Shoto steps around and in front of you, taking up an almost protective stance between you and his father. “Shoto step aside and-“ “No,” Shoto insists, staring down his father in challenge. He and Endeavor’s gazes stay locked in a silent argument, neither willing to back down, so you take the opportunity while they’re both distracted to slip away. You make it to about halfway down the hallway when a hand catches your shoulder. You whirl around knocking it away to find Shoto there looking genuinely stunned at your hostility. “Jesus christ will you fuck off!” you snap at him and maybe it isn’t fair but you’re frustrated and angry and you fought with one of your best friends and you’ve barely squeaked through each round so far and the last thing you are mentally or emotionally prepared to do is confront your increasingly complex thoughts on Shoto fucking Todoroki whose father just all but accused you of attempting to sabotage the competition.

“Hey I just wanted to check on you,” he says and for some reason, the show of compassion only pisses you off even more. “Why can’t you just leave me the fuck alone?” you demand. “Please (y/n) I-“ he tries to say, clearly confused by your rage. You know most of your anger is actually directed inwards and not at him but you don’t care. “I get that you are trying to grow as a person or whatever and pity me because you were a complete and utter dickhead a decade ago but I don’t want your fucking pity friendship so leave me the fuck alone Icyhot,” you spit with all the venom you can muster before promptly spinning around and continuing your path down the hallway, leaving a stunned Shoto behind.

No one needs to know that you’ve already started crying before you’ve even turned the corner away from him.

A/N: Oh you thought the good feelings from last chapter would last? Nah, have some angst 🙃

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