#he's the chubb king

[illiana-mystery]

He's so adorably chubby.

[otterpuppss]

showing off his skin fold

[redrose-arrow]

It’s been a week since I reread The Burning Bridge. Here’s a few things I’m still not over:

Will copying Halt in every manner possible and Halt having to physically move his face out of side to hide his smile. 

the ‘sir’ scene. I, for one, would be willing to call Gilan ‘sir’ every time of the day. 

Gilan literally being Horace’s biggest fan. 

Will’s character development in growing more confident, and Halt and Gilan aiding him in that. also, Horace. 

Gilan is consistent in one thing and one thing only and that’s showing up in KING DUNCAN’S WAR COUNCIL TENT with both the best and the worst new information. 

speaking of, David being so. done. with his son. and looking at Halt. who just shrugs. like yeah, neither dad knows what he’s doing. 

“burn the bridge”

Chubb being an icon during wartime, once again. 

the absolute devastated grief that Gilan and Halt shared when they had to wait for the battles to start and couldn’t just go look for Will. 

everyone thinking Halt is dead and then when Gilan arrives saying “Halt says” everyone going wHAT?!?!?!??!?!?!!?

David saying ‘don’t make me stop you, Halt. we’ve been friends far too long’ - like YEAH THEY HAVE

I think it’s a little sad that Morgarath never knew that Halt didn’t just KNOW the Ranger’s apprentice Morgarath had kidnapped, but that it was HIS apprentice. Imagine the PURE RAGE if Morgarath had found out that HALT’S APPRENTICE OF ALL PEOPLE had burned down the bridge. 

first, Rodney adopting Teacher Mode and letting Horace right up with him. then him adopting Parent Mode when he saw how hurt he was. 

ARALD MISSING WILL TOO. 

that one final scene that I refuse to think about. 

[frodothefair]

Frodo defending his gender nonconforming, possibly trans daughter

Random denizen of Hobbiton: First he lets her run wild with the lads and dress in breeches, and how she is a member of the king's guard in a city of MEN? The name Baggins is certainly in the dust now, if it wasn't already. Frodo: *eyes suddenly cold, half-closed, and his voice excruciatingly, lividly polite* And pray enlighten me, Mrs. Chubb, what business of yours is my daughter's life and choices? And also, may I remind you that my son is an apprentice healer, and fairly soon Dr. Boffin will retire and Samwise-lad will take his place. Surely, you want him to continue to pay special attention to your rheumatism?

(So I imagine Middle Earth does not really have LGBTQ discourse and vocabulary like we do, and it might actually be hard to discern at first, not the least for Galadriel Baggins herself, whether she is simply gender nonconforming or actually trans. But I imagine she uses a male form of address and even male pronouns when she serves as a citadel guard, though not necessarily with her family.)

[sufficientlylargen]

Maybe the rest of Middle Earth uses common Hobbit names as swear words. An Eorling stubs her toe and exclaims "Ow! Chubb! That really hurts!" A small-town sheriff on the outskirts of Gondor walks in and asks "Now just what in the Sack-ville is goin' on here?" A dwarf working on the Máhanaxar Project watches the first weapons test and quietly says "Now we're all fools of Tooks." An angsty, emo septuagenarian elf graffitis "ELROND IS A BOLGER" on a tree in Lórien and gets six months of detention from her high school teacher.

A bunch of the orcs have a grudging respect for Gollum because when he was being tortured he kept yelling "Baggins! Shire!"; they had figured he would be a total pushover, but they have to admit that it takes guts to keep swearing at your torturers like that.

After Return of the King Aragorn keeps introducing the Fellowship hobbits to various Gondorian nobility and everyone assumes this is some sort of weird Elvish humor but they don't want to offend the new king so they just smile awkwardly and move on.

I love the concept of Tooks. "Everybody in the Shire is very very businesslike and respectable and has no use for adventures except for this one entire family of mad lads who also run the municipal government"

[rocktoberr]

GOOD LORD I KNEW THERE WAS A REASON I WAS AVOIDING SOCIAL MEDIA

i hate trade season </3 my heart is in pieces on the floor again

tbh brendan makes sense to trade out as much as it would suck but like we have alan and obv mac (because i refuse to consider it an actual possibility that he gets traded) and its baseball half the team plays at least 3 positions. the whole thing for the rockies is that our pitching staff is as reliable and sturdy as running a madden25 ranked match on that one cousin's grimey ps2 only connected to internet by dial-up. that and the constant more or less vote of no confidence given to literally any vet not a fan favorite. its not a baseball team its a money grab. im one bad day of rockies news from writing myself in as the gm that fixes it all 2012 wattpad style

even if mac does get traded i hope he goes to the damn yanks literally just for the - gather? idk the word for what im thinking and im way too tired to be writing rn - w dj because i would write that fic to hell and then some . . . sideplot bryzzo would go so hard with it . . . . .but also going to a big name bigger wallet team means he's getting recognized as the absolute KING that he is and god knows he more than deserves it. tf you mean chappy got the gold glove ToT not in my heart

anyway we have to stay positive or we collapse so

bo nix looks like the strongest runner in this season's roty campaign and the broncos look really damn good when the defense comes to play nate atkins had a touchdown and whats his name that took chubb's number had a pick. cant stop thinking about holding kirk cousins to field goals. i'm not thinking about justin simmons im not thinking about jerry jeudy im not thinking about drew lock im not thinking about kendall hinton im not thinking about noah fant im not thinking about brandon mcmanus im not thinking about all the guys we've lost since 2015 im not- the javonte touchdown when he was carried into the end zone was hilarious and lives rent free in my mind

the nuggets looked like shit about halfway through won their game tonight and the rumor why joker's out is that his wife is having another baby. vlatko might have reinjured his knee and saric showed up big time. jamal was extra fluffy and adorable even though he kept making bad passes in the 2nd half and made some huge shots. russ was called for the weakest tech ive ever seen cooked and is now the all time nba leader in triple doubles (200) (i think) coach malone was hilarious to watch on the sidelines and is now tied as the nuggets winningest head coach

THE CHIEFS FINALLY FUCKIN LOST TOO

I get trading Brendan. I feel like all of us saw it from mile away honestly, it’s the least surprising thing that would happen this off-season. What would be surprising if we got someone value from him.

However, Mac gets traded I physically do not know what I’ll do with myself. If he gets traded, obviously I’m gonna want him to win the World Series right away because he deserves it and deserves everything good happen in life and I know him and Judge have been friends since childhood so there’s that as well that would add a different synergy to the Yankees roster.

Bestie imma try my best to stay positive this offseason however the nuggets are so iffy that you can’t really predict how the seasons gonna go and it seems like we are nothingness without jokic which adds a whole new problem.(also it has been a brought to my attention that Malone shops at my local King Soopers which probably means he lives somewhere close to me, and that scares me) Also, the Broncos are just confusing. They confuse me I don’t know how to feel. BUT YOUR RIGHT AT LEAST THE CHEIFS FINALLY FUCKING LOST. ALL HAIL JOSH ALLEN

Anyways, if we trade Mac, I will literally crash out 

[chodhound]

Wandering the Wandle - Part 2

Here's me looking at something:

From Beddington we went to the Grove in Carshalton (https://goo.gl/maps/34uxbuULu88kFpNB7) and looked at the ponds there. En route we observed a Lime bike had been thrown into a Lime Green pool which I thought was worth a photo only to be admonished by a local old lady who clearly thought we should be doing something about the aforementioned bike - we pointed out that we weren't the ones who put it there or indeed the council.

Still the ponds are very pretty.

Still the ponds are very pretty.

There was evidence in the park of the mills that made the Wandle famous:

And we saw some nature as well and then we walked along the appropriately named Mill Lane and tried to find the former snuff mill.

From there we looked at the bridge/viaduct of the railway over the Wandle and encountered Wilderness Island(https://goo.gl/maps/YRoMvFNf6jucWktG8) - we had some hijinks pretending to cross the river using a fallen tree in the manner of some brave explorers from something like King Solomon's Mines!

We carried on our adventure up towards Watercress Park (https://goo.gl/maps/u2gWsFxpktiCLCCt7) - where we met a man have a photoshoot on a bridge (his friend was using a long telephoto lens and complicated flash gun setup) - we didn't get a photo just in case they were famous (we didn't recognize them...)

Then up to the corner of Poulter Park (https://goo.gl/maps/u9KuyJo1xvYnNW6t6)

We talked about nature and birds and things and I observed that this would be a great place to spot a kingfisher and then a local fisherwoman appeared out of the reeds to tell us that as well as being an angler she was also a keen bird-spotter and whilst we might see a kingfisher at this spot - it was her opinion that we would have more luck further along the river. She did also mention that the river was unusually high because the local waterworks were releasing water (hopefully treated) into the river. We did notice a certain aroma in the air and commented on it - but she thought this was the smell of tyres (whether it was making or burning it wasn't clear).

We asked if she had had any luck today (which I believe is the correct question to ask fisherfolk) - and she replied with a chubb and two barbells which I thought was rather rude and so we bade her good day and continued on our travels.

Next stop was Watermeads Nature Reserve (https://goo.gl/maps/vDVj8crsfLo1tX3N6) - which was given to the National Trust by one of the National Trust's founders Octavia Hill.

It was rather lovely we saw some Jasmine (shown above) and some Japanese Knotweed (identified with Google Lens but not shown).

This is a rather splendid Plane tree in the Watermeads Nature reserve. The banks were busy with more fishermen.

Here is a rather funky video of a sluice

We crossed the river at Bishopsford Bridge and on the path there was a small family group having an impromptu gathering - the patriarch of the family was as wide as he was tall but they seemed to be having a nice time - two young girls had set up a stall and attempted to sell us some loom bands - two for the price of one, sirs they cried after us - but we had no change with which to batter with.

On towards Ravensbury Park - lots more fishermen here and some ne'er do wells on their bicycles and smoking recreational cigarettes and drinking cheap lager from cans.

We saw another lovely Heron

Then we popped into the Surrey Arms for a swift and revitalizing half of ale (for me) and cider (for Andy) - the bar lady on seeing us gave us a piece of blue kitchen roll to wipe our sweaty brows (because it was a warm day). We sat at the bar with the other regulars and watched Magic FM on the TV (Mmm Bop by Hanson - not the greatest song tbh). Upon starting to walk again we both found that we had started to get a little stiff - I think we where probably about halfway through our walk at this point. My ankle was aching slightly and Andy commented on his back - definitely a gentle comment on our progress on life's path.

Andy here professed his plans to run the London Marathon (if he get it in the ballot) - I think I volunteered to run a half to help him with training if he wanted...

Next stop - Morden Hall Park (https://goo.gl/maps/D682mjtGGm6NKfdQ9)

Suddenly it was busy - loads of kids and families having picnics and enjoying running around in the clear Wandle. It was a warm day - probably around 24C and it had been rather warm all week.

There was a bored looking security guard trying to stop kids from jumping from the bridge into the water.

More Snuff Mills!

More again next time on the thrilling and fast moving action packed instalment of the Wandle Wanderers.

[whattheabcxyz]

2023-06-01

Singapore

27-year-old man arrested for suspected DUI after BlueSG car crashes into traffic light at Sengkang

Virtual queue on day 1 of May BTO launch sees wait time of over an hour - HDB says wait time has now been reduced

Migrant worker wins $18,888 at company D&D - good for him!

CPIB investigates Seatrium (formerly Sembcorp Marine) for alleged corruption - company calls for trading halt

46-year-old man jailed 4 days in default of S$1.4K fine for smoking & staying at ECP park shelter without licence - pretty young for a hobo

80-year-old man receives written warning for not returning chopsticks, bowl & plate at Chinatown food complex - hope our r3tarded authorities are f**king happy

34-year-old married man smiles in court while being charged for voyeurism - he also wore some of his victims’ bras & photographed himself in them ...probably should be locked up in an asylum permanently

Lee Hsien Loong tests positive for COVID-19 again - thought the vaccines are supposed to prevent this sort of thing from happening?! LOL

Town councils to raise service & conservancy charges from next month

Up to 30 years’ jail for possession of cannabis with rollout of stricter drug laws - not strict enough if you ask me, thanks to what those idiot "humanitarians” might say

Man allegedly duped Chubb Insurance into paying out over $8.9m in false claims

Health

Singapore: Physiotherapists at TTSH emergency department reduce wait time & staff workload

Literature

^ Bonnacons were mythical medieval creatures with violent & explosive $hit farts

Nature

What is eating tons of millipedes on Tuckernuck Island? - it knew to leave the poisonous parts alone!

Travel

Canadian tourist bitten by monkey at Bali park despite warnings not to get too close - those monkeys are NOT your friends; too bad she had to learn the hard way!

Theme parks in Malaysia see boost in visitorship from locals & Singaporeans - due to school holidays

Business

Swatch dares Malaysia to confiscate rainbows after raid on Pride watches - LGBTQ agenda & Islam do not mix!

Finance

Singapore: Crypto.com gets major payment institution licence from MAS - good luck to anyone who still dares to get involved with these crypto scammers!

Society

12-year-old girl stabs 9-year-old brother to death - motive unknown

Politics

Japan: Kishida’s son to resign as secretary after “inappropriate” behaviour - another nepo baby bites the dust, but daddy will still take care of him, not to worry!!!

Singapore & China ink pact to set up bilateral defence hotline - China cannot be trusted, but apparently our top officials haven’t learned that yet

Transport

Singapore: New MRT trains with more space & larger windows to run on North-South & East-West lines from 4 Jun

Gossip

Shark Tank's Daymond John seeks restraining order against former show contestants - poor Daymond... you never know when these random crazies will turn the tables on you & become nasty

[djmordecai]

Rare Formz - Brand New Funk (official music video)

beats & cuts by @DJMordecai 

lyrics & vocals by Chris Miller 

engineered by James Swisher 

Rare Formz lettering by Brad Bacon 

from 2015's @rareformz6905 Rare Formz - The Album https://rareformz.bandcamp.com/album/... 

a tribute to @djjazzyjeff  & The Fresh Prince ( @WillSmith ) - Brand New Funk 

as well as an homage to our hip-hop heroes. 

shoutout to @TheFoundationhiphop 

 LYRICS: 

Brand New Funk (Get Down!) (Get Down!) Brand New Funk (funky) (Hit It!) Brand New Funk (Get Down!) (Get Down!) Brand New Funk (funky) (Hit It!) Brand New Funk (Get Down!) (Get Down!) Brand New Funk (funky) (Hit It!) Brand New Funk (Get Down!) (Get Down!) Brand New Funk (funky) (Hit It!) 

[Chris Miller - Verse 1] They want that old school rap back and cats want it ASAP so I'mma flip it on niggas, the track be the gym mat I’m at a high demand for rap fans I'm Outstanding like the Gap Band, check soundscans, More money than ever so ain't no margin for error and I've been eatin’ on MC’s since Tougher Than Leather and my peoples got my back, like Africans with Mandela. So you better put them glocks down like you were Heather ‘cause I get high like Dominique smokin’ the chronic leaf and I'm in and out the future like Quantum Leap Come follow me. I flow off old school beats just like Mahogany I'm so ‘90s with the gold chain and rockin’ wallabees I still gangsta boogie Kool G Rap my ass off get stomped out for pressin’ that fast forward Sucka MCs ain’t ready for fastball ‘cause my style intense like you takin’ that crash course 

[Chorus] my DJ [rock the beat] shout out to Marley Marl big ups to Chubb Rock Special Ed and Ice-T Monie Love and Geto Boys Schoolly D and Run-DMC   Spoonie Gee and Rob Base Nice & Smooth all day man. 

[Verse 2] I stayed criminal minded BDP first album, that was ‘87.I was up in project housin’ D.O.C. came with No One Could Do It Better. Then that Paid In Full album had a nigga wantin’ chedda. I freestyle in project hallways all day. Then Sir-Mix-A-Lot had that Posse On Broadway Flow like the incredible letter man. Red said, whateva, man. Big drove the caravan in Maryland. I was a student of the game when I learned from Kane before Meth I was bringin’ the pain like Memphis Bleek, I was comin’ of age I wanted to be Cool J when he walked on stage. He was King Hercules. He walked like a panther. Sun Rise In The East that Jeru Tha Damaja I reminisce like Pete Rock and CL peace to Melle Mel. Shante the illest female 

[Chorus] my DJ: (rock the beat) Shout out to De La Soul Craig G and Pete Nice Whodini, MC Shan Juice Crew, Ice Cube Shock G, Jungle Brothers Black Sheep and Latifah Peace shout to Nicki D 

[Verse 3] Whatchu know ‘bout Milk and Giz? And ain't nobody rock a party like Biz I want to dance like The Kangol Kid Scoob and Scrap Lover, Trouble T-Roy, even DJ Kool Herc even invented the b-boy. Take a look around like Master Ace, Public Enemy got me hype when they said they wanted “BASS!” Flavor Flav was the first hype man, I love British Knights, but really I was a Fila fan. Just somethin’ you wanna hear like Gang Starr and Premier with that flava in your ear. That Craig Mack that’s real Love MC Ren, but when Lyte dropped Paper Thin, cats like Drake wouldn'ta made it back then we had Prince Paul, Large Professor, big Daddy-O can't forget Kurtis Blow them word and real rap shows Parrish and Erick Sermon, Heavy D from Mount Vernon Joeski Love he even did the Pee-Wee Herman 

[Chorus] to my DJ: (rock the beat) shout out to Doug E. Fresh Dana Dane and Slick Rick the whole Get Fresh Crew Steady B, Kool Moe Dee Cold Crush Brothers and Busy Bee Prince Rakeem and UTFO Fat Boys and Chill Rob G. And we out. Yeah, can't forget my DJs, shout out to: DJ Kool Herc DJ Red Alert Paul C Jazzy Jeff Cash Money Grandmaster Flash Mr. Magic DJ Hollywood Jazzy Jay Eddie Cheeba DJ Charlie Chase DJ Chuck Chillout The Masterdon and DJ Davy DMX 

 fresh to death, man.

[illiana-mystery]

Some more Robert because I know none of us can get enough of him.

[otterpuppss]

sometimes a dwarf rat has the pride of a larger rat trapped in a tiny wimpy form and its a little. sad lmfao

[genoa101]

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[book-empire]

Has anyone noticed that Baron Arald has no heir?

After re-reading Ruins of Gorlan from Flanagans Ranger's Apprentice, it struck me at Choosing Day scene. In some way all the Craftmasters have chosen their heirs: Will is following in Halt footsteps and if Horace had stayed at Redmont Castle, he’d be probably part of the Battleschool with Sir Rodney. Alice und Pauline got really close to each other and George became a respected scriber. And, we all know about the competition between Jenny and Chubb.

But the only one who doesn't have an heir is Baron Arald. But why? It's not like he's lonely and abandoned. He has a wife Lady Sandra, and they are completely still in love with each other. At the same time, he has a large fief that has to be ruled by someone else after his death - usually the heir.

In the Middle Ages, the king divided his kingdom into fiefs and gave them to the nobles to govern - as in Araluen. At that time there were two cases: You kept the fief for life, so it belonged to the family and was therefore passed on, or you only got it for a few years. I wouldn’t have noticed the latter in Araluen (correct me if I am wrong).

So, who takes Arald's place after his death?

[redrose-arrow]

okay so the Ranger’s Apprentice Tik Tok parody

Because y’all wanted 19 y/o me finish the thing that 14 y/o me (who was objectively on crack) started. Enjoy :).

Wake up in the morning feelin’ like Will Treaty (hey, what up boy?) Grab my scabbard I’m out the door; I’m gonna save this country (let’s go) Before I leave, have coffee, add a spoonful of honey  Ask questions all of the time, sarcasm ain’t funny

I’m talking arrows on our bows, bows Dressed up in green-grey clothes, clothes Realm-saving from all our foes, foes Trust the cloak, wearing our silver oakleaves Fighting off Morgarath’s thieves Don’t catch us moving unheard and unseen 

Don’t stop, burn the bridge Shenanigans on Nihon-Jan ridge Again, missed my dance Successfully ignored Halt’s glance It’s no lute - a mandola  Think no one likes my speech, no Oh, woah, woah-oh  Oh, woah, woah-oh More dogs, Tug has fun So many wars that I have won Halt he, is a king?! Your bow’s a stick without the string Tick-tock, on the clock But the duty don’t stop, no Oh, whoa, whoa-oh Oh, whoa, whoa-oh

Ain’t got a care in the world, and got plenty of plans Can make an army out nowhere, put a weapon in your hands And now the Skandians are lining up, ‘cause they hear I got Grimsdell Not even two Kalkara could make me say my last farewell

I’m talking royal apprentice out of hand, hand Temujai take the land, land Almost dying in Arridan hot sand, sand Now, now, I’m going ‘till I saved my friend’s crown Or Greybeard Halt shut us down, down Greybeard shut us down, down Grey- Grey- shut us down

Don’t stop, blow up the cave Ignore that time I was a slave Be strong, quick, and wise Don’t steal Chubb’s freshest pies Be thrown off your horse Thirty-three men is a force, oh Oh, whoa, whoa-oh Oh, whoa, whoa-oh Finally, a last name Though it came with quite some fame  I’m shy, a butterfly Climb up and touch the sky Magic, here and there But the thinking don’t stop, no Oh, whoa, whoa-oh Oh, whoa, whoa-oh

Warmweed, you built me up You broke me down  Have no trauma No, I’m healthy Put your hands up Take your clothes off You won’t come far In your undies Coffee, it builds me up Add more honey ‘Cause I’m a Ranger  Yeah I am one With my eyebrow raised Raise your eyebrow Raise your eyebrow

Now, the Gathering don’t start ‘till I walk in 

Don’t stop, make a joke Hide in your magical cloak Again, I’ma fight You know I will be alright Time is running out But the duty don’t stop, no Oh, whoa, whoa-oh Oh, whoa, whoa-oh Grew a beard, it looked weird When I shaved I was cheered Go on adventure Storm a castle just for her My life might be hard But I don’t stop smiling, no Oh, whoa, whoa-oh Oh, woah, woah-oh

[meliora]

actual footage of kenneth branagh every time he saw a plane comin in dunkirk