#he's stuck in his own preconceived notions and those characters always make me the most sad

[acediscowlng]

okay, time for some dean musings before i get to 13x21 just because i feel like i haven't been talking about him as much and like you know, i always think of sam's progression through the show as a process of unbecoming, and in contrast to that, i think that dean's arc is one of becoming.

like way back in season 1 when we first meet him, he's this boy playing at being a man wearing his dad's old leather jacket and driving his dad's car, and the jacket doesn't quite fit and the car isn't quite his, but he's getting there and we see him get there as the show progresses. he outwardly becomes more and more of himself and the person he's always meant to be: the fictionalized and idealized version of a man, moral and righteous but not soft, battered and experienced and worldly but unbeaten and unbroken. he has everything anyone could possibly want, the women and the drink and the car but he's not allowed to like or find any pleasure in any of them because pleasure leads to desire and desire leads to sin and he can't do that. he can't be anything other than what he was always meant to be.

and i think that tension is at the core of dean winchester and ties into the dean's relationship with the story, particularly his relationship with violence. because this is a story where violence isn't bad as long as you're catholic about it, violence is okay as long as you have a righteous cause and a crusade to fight and as long as you don't want it. And Dean is the poster child of this. In the things he did in Hell with Alistair and what he did in Purgatory and what he did with the Mark of Cain and as a demon. He likes violence. He likes that it gives him power and agency, he likes that it gives him control in a situation where he is not meant to be anything other than a role to play. So he suppresses it the way he suppress the part of him that also likes the stability and agency and emotional clarity that violence gives him because those things are inherently tied to violence and his life since he was four years old is just violence, just guns and killing things, so life is violence and he might even like it and he might even want it but he's not supposed to do that so he doesn't.

So you get to who he is in late seasons: a person who cannot separate family from violence and violence from power and power from stability, and a man who isn't allowed to change. a man who seems to care more about having people-cas, mary, sam-than actually cultivating a relationship with them because that means he has to be dynamic, he has to change, he has to want to have something with them and he has to let himself have it, and well. he was never allowed to do that, so it never occurs to him that he can be anything other than what he is supposed to be.

And you know, it's easy to lean into the toxicity of that, I certainly do, but I don't know. There is something so deeply human about that. It's an old truism in writing that interesting characters change, but there is also something really interesting in stasis. In the discomfort and pain of being stuck. In a story that is both steady and volatile at once and being right in the middle of that and being the anchoring point in a storm and a world falling apart, and in both a watsonian and a doylist sense, the world, dean's world will quite literally collapse if he moves, so he doesn't. And it's not noble and it's not tragic and it's not sinister or despicable. It just is. And that kind of helplessness and powerlessness is impossible to navigate, and i don't know. i can't help but feel for him.

[reginakhoward]

Ex-Wives Solos:

I feel like we don’t talk enough about how the little solos each queen has sets up the sexist stereotype they are shoved into by society and then how they are broken down in their song.

“If you try to dump me, you won’t try that again” For Catherine of Aragon, it’s the petty, angry ex-wife. It reminds me of a crazy ex-girlfriend trope where the ex is basically painted as evil for trying to get revenge on her poor, nice guy ex. Then, in No Way, “Please tell me what you think I’ve done wrong... You’ve got nothing to say” totally flips the script, the audience realizes that it’s Henry that is the crazy one, trying to find all these ways to get rid of her be it sending her to a nunnery or saying she’s cursed with infertility. No Way shows us that Aragon not only has a right to be angry, but also that she has been biting her tongue this whole time to what Henry has been doing to her, in a show of restraint and strength.

“Why did I lose my head? Well, my sleeves may be green, but my lipstick’s red” makes it seem like Boleyn is using her sexuality as a weapon. Anne has been characterized this way in much of history, she is the classic “Other Woman”, the whore with “the plan to steal the man”. In DLUH, we see a different side of Anne, one where she seems a lot less calculating, more helpless and clueless. Superficially, this throws her into yet another stereotype, of the “Dumb Blonde”, so to speak. Looking deeper into the lyrics, however, a lot more is revealed. The people making many of the decisions are the men in her life. Her father tells her to get ahead. Henry pursues the relationship, breaks things off with the church, and cheats on her. Anne is subject to the environment she has been thrown into, reacting to things instead of acting a lot of the time. She “didn’t mean to hurt anyone” (although she does make many decisions that do hurt people), but pays the price of Henry’s insanity.

“Jane Seymour, the only one he truly loved” would make Seymour the “Perfect Wife”. She’s doting, she’s dutiful, in the picture perfect relationship. She has the perfect husband, she has the heir to the throne, even in death, she has the queen’s funeral (the only one out of six to receive it), and buried beside her love once he passes. However, in Heart of Stone, we see that not everything was as easy as it seemed. “You can tear me down”, “I’ll stand the test”, and the other descriptions of turmoil show that Henry was not as good to her as we’d like to believe. Although perhaps, in his own fucked up way, he did love her, he did not treat her well. Many like to say that Seymour was not abused and shouldn’t win the “competition” because she didn’t have to deal with much from him, but reading between the lines shows that she dealt with his abuses in silence. She was not weak, but she wanted so desperately to make it with him and Edward, that she stuck it through until her untimely end.

“But I didn’t look as good as I did in my pic” implies that Anna of Cleves A. believes that and B. accepts it, which is a stark contrasting point in Get Down. From the beginning of Get Down she paints the picture that while, yes, what happened to her is awful, she did not lie down and accept what Henry decided was to happen for her. She used what happened and made her life amazing, far more wonderful than it would’ve been if Henry was still involved in her life. Although historically this could be far from the truth, Six Cleves is one bad bitch flipping that rejection and making it a victory.

“Lock up your husbands, lock up your son, KHoward is here and the fun’s begun” is one of the most apparent flips once we get to AYWD. It’s carried through the song, as at first Katherine is “wanting” (don’t get me started on the statutory rape here) her encounters, but then we quickly learn the truth. She leads us to believe, like Henry believed, that she was a promiscuous woman not worthy of the throne, until we realize she was only a girl who was taken advantage of. Her stereotype is a very well-known and believed one as much as Anne Boleyn’s, so it’s refreshing and heartening to see the musical portray it in a different way for the KHoward character, and I’m so glad they did it this way.

“I’m the final wife…. I’m the survivor” For Catherine Parr, all she mentions in her intro is that she was the final wife, the one who survived, and other things to do with her being Henry’s 6th wife, or one of the Six. When we get to IDNYL, we are introduced to Catherine as a person, the things she did, the people she affected, outside of Henry. We are shown HER real story, not reliant on anyone else. Parr sets us up to believe that she was merely one of Six in order to make the reveal of her breaking off/having agency even more impactful. She went from one dimensional to 3D this way, which I think was a really cool way to segway into giving all the queens agency in the last part of the show.

Overall, I think it’s a really cool device that was used through the show, because of how rooted it is in our perceptions. Most people have a preconceived notion of these queens from their real lives and our understandings (or lack thereof) of what happened to them. For Six to break those really emphasizes how they are telling their own stories, “taking back the microphone”, and freeing themselves from abuse, which is always a story the world needs to hear. 💕

[rpmemesbyarat]

Note: This is more an opinion piece about my own tastes than anything, but I thought it was worth posting for those who feel the same. Whether or not you thought that the new “Cruella” film was good, if it was necessary, if it was problematic, whatever, one thing everyone can agree on was that the villain, the Baroness, was evil. Wholly, cruelly, irredeemably evil, with no sympathetic or complex elements in the slightest. She doesn’t have a single humanizing thing about her, and she one-ups the original villainous Cruella by trying to have a BABY be killed by her henchman, not just baby animals. It’s ironic to me that a film dedicated to humanizing Cruella used a villain that was essentially just like her original version---an older woman who is a fabulous fashionista and also irredeemably, utterly evil and attempts to have the most innocent, helpless of creatures murdered on her behalf for no greater reason for her vanity and convenience. Perhaps this was intentional, but it’s something I notice pops up a LOT in these sorts of stories. For instance, in the musical “Twisted” which retells Disney’s “Aladdin” from the point of view of Jafar, it’s not merely that Jafar is misunderstood or has sympathetic motives and reasons of his own; Aladdin is an utterly evil villain unrecognizable from his original self. He steals out of laziness, is only an orphan because he killed his parents when they wanted him to get a job, is 33 to Jasmine’s 16, and is implied to be ready to rape Jasmine when she refuses him. All of his altruism, bravery, and other good traits are erased. He’s as completely flat and unsympathetic a villain as Jafar originally was, complete with perving on Jasmine being transplanted on to him with Jafar now becoming Jasmine’s protective biological father. I enjoy works that explore the idea that there are two sides to every story, that every villain sees themself as the hero in their own story, and that things are always more complex than the “heroes and villains” dichotomy. And stories like these promise that. . . .while actually just reproducing the same dynamic of the hero who didn’t actually do anything wrong vs the utterly evil, reprehensible villain who is just evil for no reason. I see a lot of this in fanfic and fanon too; works that promise to simply explore things from the villain’s perspective either present the heroes as completely two-dimensional bullies dedicated to making the villain’s life hell for no reason, or introduce a new character to be a far worse villain by comparison for the protagonist villain to stand against, or who torments them to explain their villainy. And it’s not played as simply being how things happened in the villain’s head, a lie they tell themselves to excuse their behavior, but as actual fact. This bugs me. You’re not breaking down any preconceived notions about good and evil, you’re just switching who is in the roles while keeping all those same ideas---the flawless hero, the evil inhuman villain---or only making the villain “heroic” by adding a WORSE person for comparison. And like. . . ok, if there’s two sides to every story like these works claim, what about the 2D inhuman villains like the Baroness who are created solely to explain the evil of the original bad guy? It could be clever if we got hints about them that suggest they have a painful past too that made them that way, but that seldom happens. The writer tells us that no one is born a villain, then unrionically presents us with a new villain who seems to be exactly that. I think breaking out of the villain/hero dichotomy is a worthy, interesting thing to explore, as is the idea everyone has humanizing traits and motives that make sympathetic sense to themselves for reasons that are understandable. But it seems like a lot of works that promise to do that, are still stuck in the same mentality that everyone DOES have to be all bad or all good, that villains DO lack any real depth, they just switch the names around of who is what. And that’s not new or original or thought-provoking at all, in my opinion.

[bookaddict24-7]

I said at the beginning of the year that I would share my reviews more on my blog instead of just on Instagram and Goodreads. I’ve been reading a lot so far this year, so my reviews will be delayed on here.

Friend me on Goodreads here to read my reviews in real-time!

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107. Amari and the Night Brothers by B.B. Alston--⭐️⭐️⭐️⭐️⭐️

Wow, this book had more of a punch than I anticipated! I think books like this one are super important--not just because of the content, but because of the audience it's geared towards. Young readers now are learning more and more about society than a lot of us did at their age, so I think it's perfectly fitting that a book like this one is out there for kids to devour. One of the things I liked the most about this book was the allegory of racism in a magical community. Usually in fantastical novels for kids (older ones, anyway), there's this belief that no matter what you look like, the moment you go to another magical place all of your worries about racism goes away because MAGIC. But in this one, not only did our MC have to contend with the racism in her normal life, she had to face more racism in her new life, just with a new title. So many of the actions taken against her by those around her, and the comments (like putting her brother on a pedestal because he was the star of the school and calling him the exception to the rule, or one girl actively telling her that "You can take the girl out of the ghetto, but not the ghetto out of the girl) really made me think that this poor kid went from one ignorant situation to another. Not only is she trying to find her brother and solve the mystery of his disappearance, but she also has to deal with racist and ignorant people around her. Imagine calling a child evil because of something they can't control. Imagine going out of your way to ensure that they fail. Imagine you or your child hearing the things this child heard while trying to just do her best in a system that's always been made to be against her, both in the human world and in the magic world. Imagine, imagine, imagine. Another thing I loved about this book was her resilience. She is brave, and smart, and has such a big future in this new world of hers. I'm so excited to read the rest of this series as it comes out. This book was POWERFUL and I highly recommend it. Not just for the young readers in your life, but I think parents and other readers would highly benefit from reading Amari's story.

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108. Mindy Kim & the Yummy Seaweed Business by Lyla Lee--⭐️⭐️⭐️⭐️⭐️

Okay, this book was ADORABLE. I haven’t read a 6-8 book in a long time and I’m thankful to my friend on Instagram who recommended these books! Mindy has to deal with not only her grief about losing her mom and her dad’s busy schedule (as well as his own grief), but she’s also at a new school in a new State where she is the only Asian student. I’ve mentioned this in some of my most recent reviews, but I love that these important topics are being discussed in children’s books. We see moments of racism in this book where Mindy is left upset, even if she doesn’t fully understand just why certain comments and actions are so hurtful. And even if she doesn’t dwell on it, a parent reading this with their little one would notice and hopefully learn if they see their own behaviours mirrored in the actions of some of these adults. But we also see moments of kindness and love as a young girl tries her best to find ways to make her dad happy. Despite the heavier undertones in this book, there was an overall feel of sweetness and childhood innocence. The ability to apologize when you know you’re in the wrong, the innocence of emotions getting away from you, and the sweetness of a daughter loving her father. This was a great read and I highly recommend it for everyone, but especially the little ones in your life who will be entering situations where books like these and their lessons are really important.

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109. The Dead Zone by Stephen King--⭐️⭐️⭐️⭐️

This one, I felt, held more of an emotional punch rather than a creepy feeling. I really enjoyed it! I loved the psychic angle and the MC proving the people who didn’t believe him or mocked wrong. Also, this was a King book that actually made me want to cry at the end. I didn’t give it a 5 because of some really slow moments. While I love that his stories always have a way of coming together at the end, certain scenes sometimes feel long, boring, or confusing. I’d recommend this for anyone who wants to read a King book that isn’t scary and if you’re a fan of 11/22/63!

___

110. Takane & Hana Vol. 1 by Yuki Shiwasu--⭐️⭐️⭐️

This one took me a while to read. I found that I wasn’t really in the mood to read it every time I picked it up—which is so different from when I pick up a manga I really want to read. The story had some funny bits and the artwork was gorgeous, but it really bugged me how every new chapter re-introduced the love interest. Over and over and over again. I get it: he’s rich, arrogant, and an asshole. Can’t you trust us to remember these key personality traits? But it wasn’t even just that. We were constantly re-introduced to the premise of the story. I don’t know how common this is WITHIN the same volume, but I haven’t encountered it yet—and if I have, it wasn’t as annoying as this one. I’ll keep reading the story because I’m curious, but this first volume was a bit of a rougher read for me.

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111. You Have A Match by Emma Lord--⭐️⭐️⭐️.5

I think the thing with this book is that the cover tells a different story than what really matters in this book. Yes, there’s a friends to more relationship in this, but the main storyline is about two girls who find out they’re sisters and are trying to solve that mystery. This isn’t a romcom—the romance is a super side story to the main storyline. And to be honest, I really enjoyed it. I wanted to see why these two sisters lived their whole life separated. I enjoyed the process and the friendships created along the way. I felt for the parents, but at the same time, I felt more for the girls. There were instances where I wanted to yell at the parents because they kept putting the reveal off. This was enjoyable overall—a great summer read. Not particularly memorable, but it does what it sets out to do: makes you question the strength of friendships and what they can overcome. Also, Instagram.

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112. Patron Saints of Nothing by Randy Ribay--⭐️⭐️⭐️⭐️⭐️

When my friend raved about this book I was both excited and intimidated. I usually try to avoid hypes surrounding books because I go in with too-high expectations and a lot of the time, the expectations crush me while I’m reading. Thankfully, the hype is very well-deserved with this one. For me, the most important aspect of this book that stuck with me wasn’t the mystery surrounding the MC’s cousin’s death, but the character growth the MC himself experiences during the time of his investigation. Identity sounds like a pretty clear cut thing sometimes, but it’s a lot harder to know your own when you’re the child of an immigrant family. You live in a new country, get accustomed to new expectations and customs, and inevitably feel a culture shock when you’re re-introduced to the culture your parents grew up in. I saw myself so much in this MC. From my childhood to my current adult years, people have thought that they could define me and who I am simply because I say I’m this or this. But while others make a quick judgment, they don’t see the internal struggle. They don’t see you questioning yourself on whether you’re enough of this, or whether you’re enough of that. I think teenage me would have loved this book even more. The MC is constantly faced with criticism about his father choosing to move them to the States from the Philippines. The judgments and the preconceived notions of him and his family make him not only weary because he recalls how his uncle treated his father the first time he visited, but also wary because it sets him down this road of self-reflection. I haven’t read many (if any, unfortunately) books where a character goes to the Philippines. I’m so thankful to this book. I learned so much about the culture, the foods, and the struggles faced not just financially, but politically as well. I remember reading about some of the topics brought up in this book and it was extremely eye-opening. It’s so easy for us to look away because we have that privilege, but this book says, “No, look at me. I exist.” The MC, in his journey, also learns to speak up and use his voice. Not just against ignorant friends, but an annoyingly smug and verbally abusive uncle (who I hated to all hell). He also learns to listen. He learns that though not every story is perfect, they still have power. I think this is a great read for those who have one foot in two different worlds (hands and arms can be in other worlds, too). Especially if you’re trying to understand this part of you that wasn’t developed as you grew up. I’d also recommend it to readers who want to learn more about this struggle, learn more about a different culture that is more than its stereotypes, and/or want to read about a young teenager trying to come to terms with his grief and guilt.

___ Have you read any of these books? Would you recommend them?

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Happy reading!

[the-blind-assassin-12]

Lonely Stranger

Word Count: 1,340 (+ lyrics- in bold italics)  Character: Ryan Brenner  A/N: This was a real damn treat for me to write, as well as an agonizing experience. I’ll explain a little more. Title of this drabble and lyrics used belong to Eric Clapton, not Ryan Brenner or I... and if you haven’t heard the song, please listen before, during or after you read this.  

(ARTIST APPRECIATION SUBMISSION)

Happy Sunday everyone! I am so pumped to share this next submission for the fanart appreciation event, for many reasons. First of all, the art itself is literally breathtaking. The incredible attention to the smallest of details in this not only show how badass this artist is, but perfectly mirror Ryan’s attention to the little things. The moment that I got this submission from @something-tofightfor to write for the piece that  @gollyderek did that was inspired by Neon Lights, I just about exploded with excitement. First of all, Neon Lights is my favorite piece of fanfiction on this or any plane of existence. If you haven’t read it you absolutely have to. Secondly, Laura’s artwork for it was and still is my happy place because it so perfectly depicts the magic of the moment that reader first sees Ryan. In fact, it makes lots of people’s days better, Laura. When she submitted this request, Rachael told me that this artwork makes her happy even on bad days. 

So the chance to write about not only a beautiful work of art, but one inspired by a beautiful work of fiction was sort of fricking amazing! I decided (with @something-tofightfor​ ‘s blessing, of course- Thanks for trusting me, Rachael!) to write this from Ryan’s POV. 

Anyway! I could continue to gush about how talented both of these ladies are and how much both of their works mean to me, but let’s get on with it. Laura, from Rachael (and I) to you: THANK YOU FOR GIFTING US ALL WITH THIS BEAUTIFUL PIECE OF ART. YOU ARE TALENTED. YOU ARE APPRECIATED. YOU ARE A FORCE TO BE RECKONED WITH. Keep fuckin shit up in the best way. 

(Can you hear him singing? I can. Good Lord, I can.) 

Lonely Stranger

Once his fingers began to work at the strings, the guitar in Ryan’s lap stopped being separate from him. Hunched over the body and curved around the neck, he let the faces in the small crowd that had gathered disappear and gave all of his focus to the song he was playing. While he enjoyed playing for people, even taking requests to ensure that he played things that they actually knew and wanted to hear, what he enjoyed the most about music was the way that it didn’t begin and end with just his voice or his guitar. It required more than that. Soul and memory. Joy and mistakes. Got plenty’a both. 

Making music was about feeling all of these things and using them to say something through song, regardless of whether or not it was one he’d written. It was his chance to talk to people he might otherwise not get the opportunity to. Just as they slipped beneath the notes he played and the lyrics he sang, he felt himself become invisible to them. His dusty boots, stained jeans, roughly inked digits and all of the preconceived notions that they carried became muted details that mattered less and less with every pluck and pass of his fingers and thumbs, every line he belted out. Ryan became invisible enough to connect with these strangers, just enough to make them smile and keep him believing that people were better on the whole than the worst of their parts. 

They didn’t mind that they’d never see him again, and the older he got and the more he traveled, he realized that he didn't either. Ryan had a few people in his life that he knew would always be a part of it- Georgie and a couple of the friends that they played with together, Virginia, even if every day it got closer to too long since he’d seen her. Cowboy, even though he was gone. Ryan’s closed eyelids wrinkled as he connected that loss to the story he was telling with his song. 

I must be invisible No one knows me. I have crawled down dead-end streets On my hands and knees.

The people who knew him weren’t the ones standing in front of him as he sat perched on a milk crate suspended over the Strip. Those people were scattered elsewhere, acting as anchors for him to return to when needed, as he was to them- people who understood him, accepted him beyond what they could see and without trying to change him. Those people were few and far between, both figuratively and in miles, and Ryan had recently decided that that was for the best. He hadn’t left his home looking for someplace to settle into a new one, he’d done it to live on his own terms. It had been years since he’d met someone who had seen him beneath what they guessed about him, those guesses more often than not being wrong, so he’d stopped hoping for it. 

'cause I'm a lonely stranger here, Well beyond my day. And I don't know what's goin' on, So I'll be on my way.

It was easier to just make these little connections through music, to focus on the details of the city he was in. The skyline, the way clouds gathered and the colors that they cast over the landscape, cobbled streets and gravel roads, highways and bright lights and everything that made each place he visited different from the one before. That’s why he’d chosen the life he had, regardless of what people thought, and it was easier to enjoy those things than it was to try to find another person who saw them the way that he did, saw his lifestyle as a series of intentional choices and not one of circumstantial consequence. 

The desert heat hadn’t left with the sunlight, and though sweat ran in beads between his shoulder blades and left salty trails from his forehead and temples that dried on his skin before reaching his beard, he hardly noticed. He opened his eyes briefly as he played between lyrics, a few more people stepping up to join the audience, their featureless faces reflecting the colors of the neon lights that brought the city to life. Just people on vacation, checking “watch a street performer” off of their Vegas to-do list. Crinkled dollar bills and a small cache of coins littered the lining of the guitar case at his feet, and he was grateful for every cent of it because it allowed him to continue to live the life he wanted, even if it meant becoming a small detail in the scrapbooks of other people’s lives. 

He blinked as a drop of sweat rolled into his eye, and shook his head to clear it without missing a beat. Opening both eyes again, Ryan expected to be met with the same cluster of strangers that he’d just seen, but where before when his eyes had been able to skim across the crowd with ease, this time they found a sticking point- a young woman standing off to the side in a simple black dress, a soft pink glow illuminating her from behind. What? Ryan’s brow wrinkled, and he gave another small shake of his head as though trying to clear a mirage from his mind. 

But you were still there, your eyes wide and your mouth slightly open, body entirely still. But she’s… listening. Ryan closed his eyes, tight, and sunk himself back into the song. Doesn’t matter.   

Some will say that I'm no good; Maybe I agree. Take a look then walk away. That's alright with me.

But you hadn’t heeded the warning in the song. You’d stuck around as most of the crowd dispersed, continuing on to the destinations that his presence on the bridge had delayed them from. Why? He looked down as you tossed a bill into the case, the green paper landing on the small pile of other bills but standing out starkly due to the number in the corner being much higher than any that it sat atop. Oh. That’s… 

“That’s too much, you don’t have to-” he said aloud, assuming that you’d meant to slip something smaller into the case. Bringing his eyes up to yours, they locked onto something there that surprised him. Lips suddenly dry, his tongue darted out to wet them. “Please, that’s not-” 

But you wouldn’t let it go, insisting that he take the tip and the praise that came along with it. You didn’t run off, having checked a box and eager to check another, but stepped aside as he briefly thanked those that did have somewhere else to be. You stayed through another song- one he’d written- watching and listening with the same look on your face, closer now, the curve of your cheek and the tip of your nose highlighted by the yellow orange glow of a different set of lights. She’s… he thanked the couple in front of him, giving them a genuine smile and telling them to have a nice evening, but he was still stuck on your eyes. She’s stunning but I...it... When you’d overheard him answer someone else’s question of what his name was, you hadn’t waited for him to introduce himself to you before using it yourself, and when you did he could feel the way that his own eyes lightened, smiling from the unexpected way you’d maintained the connection that others so easily dropped the second the last note faded. 

Close enough now to see even more than he’d been able to before, Ryan realized what had made you different, even if he couldn’t fathom how he knew it. She’s been lonely, too. Knows it's not all bad, bein’ alone. It wasn’t sadness in your eyes that gave that away, it was clarity. Damn. But instead of looking for a way to cut it off, Ryan held onto the connection that the two of you shared, offering to play a song of your choosing. 

To him, your choice had only confirmed what he didn’t know how he knew about you. The odd comfort and jarring change of being seen, even if just for the length of a few songs adding to the list of things he’d add to the guitar, to his voice: Soul and memory. Joy and mistakes. 

And this… no matter what category tonight falls into.  

.

.

.

And now I am going to go cry about how much I love Ryan Brenner and this perfectly frozen moment in time that @gollyderek​ captured from @something-tofightfor​ ‘s beautiful words. SWOON and SIGH. I hope you enjoyed this as much as I enjoyed writing it even if it made me nervous AF and choosing a song for Ryan to be singing was more difficult than it should have been. Thank you a million times to all of you fabulous artists! If you are an artist in the Ben Barnes fandom, or you want to surprise an artist with a quick drabble based on their art, send me a message and link me to the posted artwork. Let’s show these talented folks how much we appreciate them and the things that they create! 

[dalekofchaos]

Why I ship Harmione/Harmony

Mostly, I am a sucker for best friends to lovers. And I always thought reading the books and watching the movies, they should have gotten together.  So I will explain why I love Harmione and why I think they should be together.

Harry and Hermione have a very close emotional relationship, so it is natural for people to want to see them together. They have so much respect and adoration for each other. They have great chemistry together, grew up similar and they just felt right together. They were both great at magic,  both very witty and intelligent and were there for each other during hard times as well.

Hermione sees Harry for who he is, therefore she would also love him for who he is. She had very few preconceived notions about Harry before attending Hogwarts and she let those go as soon as she got to know the real Harry. This alone makes her a much better match for Harry than most witches his age as all he want to be is “Just Harry”.

Harry respects Hermione’s ideals a lot more than Ron does. That’s not to say he agrees with every one of them and Hermione would have to learn to accept that not everyone would agree with all of her ideals, but they likely wouldn’t start many, if any, arguments over them.

They already have a strong relationship built on mutual trust and respect. And they have enough in common, and enough differences to truly complement each other. And just as in a proper relationship, their arguments never turn into fights, they resolve their issues.

And most importantly, they are truly loyal to each other. Hermione stuck with Harry from beginning to end, even when certain others faltered along the way.

Even when Harry was enduring more stress than most people could possibly endure, Hermione never left his side, through all of his ups and downs. No matter what, they are always there for each other when they are most needed.

A lot of people say about Harry and Hermione “I like that the hero didn’t get the girl” or “why should the hero always get the girl?” You have it backwards. Why should the Brainy girl always have to settle for less than the Hero?

They truly are Equals, unlike the characters they ended up with.

If we examine Harry and Hermione’s relationship throughout the books, we see Harry giving her very long discussions about his failed date with Cho Chang, his feelings of inadequacy when searching for the Horcruxes, his reliance on her strength and acumen, and his empathy for her troubles with romance. Conversely, Hermione spends a lot of time comforting Harry and challenging him to be better than he is. She serves as both a devil’s advocate and a confidant. These are the building blocks to a strong friendship, if not romantic relationship.

Hermione alone shares Harry’s most significant moments of emotional development in the entire series—the moment when Harry faces his fears and discovers his connection to his father through his Patronus in PoA, and the moment in Godric’s Hollow at his parents’ graveside, where he comes to terms with their death (Hermione being the last person to see Harry and tell him he’s a great wizard near the end of Philosopher’s Stone before Harry confronts Voldemort directly for the first time since he was a baby is also pretty major, but the Patronus scene in PoA, followed by the hippogriff flight, I think trumps even that).

Relationships work best when people have a lot in common, but also have enough differences to have their own identities and balance each other out.

Harry shares to some degree Hermione’s intellectual curiosity. He likes to read his schoolbooks, and do his homework.

Harry and Hermione both grew up in the muggle world—shared experience.

Harry and Hermione both grew up without friends (and were bullied)—shared experience.

Harry shares Hermione’s values—Hermione wants to free House Elves, Harry actually frees one. ( Compare to Ron, who wishes he owned a House Elf ).

Harry and Hermione both merely become slightly more irritable under the alleged “influence” of Slytherin’s locket—(Ron goes completely mental,and really, given Harry’s life experiences, “the horrors in his life” as Lupin might say, one might be forgiven for thinking that HARRY would be the one to lose his marbles).

Hermione is a more credible stand in for Lily than Ginny in the equation of Harry = his father + (Harry’s partner) = his mother—Hermione brings out Harry’s “better angels,” she’s muggleborn, and she’s intellectually and compassionately a match for Lily. (And really, isn’t it slightly creepy for someone to choose a partner (i.e. Harry’s surrogate sister, Ginny) who looks like their mother)?

Hermione provides a balance—a voice of reason when Harry is feeling a bit reckless.

Harry provides Hermione a balance—a voice of instinct when logic fails.

Hermione sticks by Harry even when Ron ditches him at a point that Harry needs his friends the most—twice (proving that the much vaunted “loyalty” of Ron is vastly overrated).

Hermione is there for Harry in the two most important emotional points of his life, next to him discovering he was a wizard:Hermione alone shares the moment that Harry discovers his connection to his father through his Patronus when Harry sends 100 Dementors packing at the end of PoA. The Super-Patronus, as an embodiment of positive emotion, symbolises Harry’s extraordinarily powerful “ability to love.” Hermione alone shares the moment that Harry visits his parents’ graves.

For when people bring up Harry’s “She’s my sister” quote

Harry and Ginny are like siblings, Ginny is more or less his surrogate sister.

Ron and Hermione fight like a brother and sister, they act like Katara and Sokka from ATLA

See how that goes? The "sibling" argument doesn’t work, because it can be applied to anyone and everyone.

There are book moments to support that they could work in the books, not just the movies Quotes source

I feel like I’ve done a good job explaining why I ship them. To me Harry and Hermione are like soulmates, they are James and Lily, but with a happy ending and finding agency with each other. To Hermione, Harry isn’t the chosen one or the boy who lived, to her he’s “just Harry.” To Harry, Hermione is wonderful and brilliant and always enjoys her presence. They are always there for each other and to me Harmione will always be the one relationship that I view as soulmates and one I wanted to be canon.

Here are other tumblr posts that better explain why we ship Harmione/Harmony

Post 1

Post 2

Post 3

Post 4

Post 5

Also this beautiful video PERFECTLY explains why

[myevilmouse]

In Defense of The Rise of Skywalker

Or...how I learned to stop hating and enjoy a movie

Spoilers and random thoughts below the cut.

I hate the abomination that was/is The Last Jedi.  Let’s get that out of the way.  I’ve already explained the hundreds of reasons why, the biggest and most unforgivable being the character assassination of Luke “I call him Jake” Skywalker and the invalidation of every victory of the OT.  I resent this making people lump me into a “gatekeeper” sect, or accuse me of racism (Rose was annoying and ruined Finn’s heroism, jeopardizing hundreds of lives for her own selfish reasons without building up a convincing romance and blah blah etc).  It has nothing to do with her gender, race, or anything.  It has to do with poor character development and inconsistent motivations/messages. 

I’m also not a huge fan of The Force Awakens, mainly for its lack of originality and the treatment of Han/Leia, but otherwise I thought it was OK.  I liked Finn, wanted him to become a Jedi, found Poe to be a worthy heir to our antihero mold.  Rey left me indifferent and Kylo Ren was a temper-tantrum throwing teenager, but anyway...

Let’s keep that as background/context and not get bogged down.

Since they announced the title of this movie, I have been livid with rage. How dare they use my man’s name to sell their disgusting imitation of a beloved universe?  I was certain, ever since it was announced, that Rey would take Luke’s surname, despite having treated him so horribly in TLJ, despite having done nothing to earn it, despite having spent far more time with Leia, so if anything a Solo/Organa family name would make more sense.  It was just to sell tickets and I was furious.

I read all the spoilers.  Worst fears:  confirmed.  I looked at leaked photos.  I raged over the inanity of the plot and the sad conclusion to the Skywalker Saga, which in my mind will always end with ROTJ.

Still, I love Mark Hamill, and I decided to treat this film as a MH film. The completist in me required theatrical viewing.  Rare to get our man in a cinematic release.  So I went, ready to hate watch, prepared to dull the bitterness and betrayal with wine.

But….JJ Abrams directed a fix it fic.  And it’s good.  This film not just address the real injustices and horrible story decisions of TLJ, but also addresses some of the major problems of TFA too. 

I tried to go in with an open mind, but obviously I had many preconceived notions, and already knew almost every single story point and character beat.  I was ready to roll around in my hate and slam the abomination.  I want to emphasize that I am one of those people that was COMPLETELY prepared to hate EVERYTHING about this.

There are flaws. 

But there is so much that is great. 

I really really liked it. 

No one is more shocked than I at my own reaction.  I was ready/willing/wanting/primed to hate everything about this.  Please keep that in mind.  Hahah and no one is paying me to write this post 😉

I decided to write this because I also read all the negative critical reviews online from the pro critics yelling FAN SERVICE.  And I’m like…damn straight?  Ever since George Lucas made Han shoot second, fandom has understood that we understand this franchise better than film executives.  We aren’t concerned with adding an extra dewback or improving special effects.  We love these films the way we first experienced them, and they cannot and should not be “improved” to the ultimate detriment of the brand.

I’m here to tell you that the critics are not being fair.  The spoilers on reddit were true, but the movie works. Let’s accept, before we go further, that Abrams couldn’t entirely rewrite the mess that he stepped into/helped create. So I can’t defend the fact that Finn isn’t a Jedi yet or the mess that is the new Rebellion/failure of the old. I, like many fans, wish we had been given a different/better story from the beginning.  Sadly, we were not.

That is something we don’t have to accept (I certainly don’t consider these films “canon” in my mind—Mara Jade forever!) but let’s approach this film in the spirit it seems to be intended:  An attempt to address the very valid criticisms loudly voiced about the others in the trilogy, with the caveat that we are stuck with TFA and TLJ no matter how much we hate them.

First, the music is amazing, as we all knew it would be.  The acting is stellar.

Some of the things Abrams “fixed:”

“Rey is perfect/Mary Sue/good at everything”.  There is a conscious effort in this film to show her training, with Leia as her Master.  There is a good scene foreshadowing her final struggle, where she strains to hear the voices of Jedi past and fails.  There are several signs that she is not a Jedi yet, including how Palpatine talks about her, and perhaps my favorite, when she tells Leia she hasn’t earned Luke’s lightsaber.

Me: Damn straight you haven’t.

And Leia AGREES, keeping Luke’s weapon because Rey isn’t ready for it. She’s still learning.

Further proof of her non-Jedi status, when Rey is killed, she doesn’t join the Force.  She is a corpse.  On the other hand, Ben Solo, once redeemed, disappears as we would expect a good Jedi to do.  A clear distinction between the two of them.

And speaking of Leia:

Leia’s character:  TFA and TLJ Leia is weak and sends other people to fight, whereas our brave Princess from the OT is volunteering for suicide missions, grabbing weapons from the hands of her rescuers, and running into danger for a good cause.  It always bothered me that she didn’t go after Kylo herself (or with Han).  In this, we see her as a Jedi Master, training Rey, with her own lightsaber.  Leia is once more a badass, true to her character.  A legitimate Jedi who also joins the Force (although not sure why it took her so long post-mortem, that was weird).

Luke’s character:  Hello, I am A LUKE FANATIC.  The biggest sin of TFA and especially TLJ was this idea of Luke hiding out and becoming the disgusting, pessimistic coward he was shown to be.  Abrams ignores this pretty much entirely, starting with the revelation that Luke was actually going on missions with Lando to hunt for a Sith artifact to help the Rebellion.  Luke kept notes, he was busy and ACTIVE.  He wasn’t giving up; he was leaving a trail to help anyone who followed.  The best ‘fuck you’ in the whole movie was Luke catching Anakin’s lightsaber when Rey throws it away.  The ultimate rejection of his TLJ characterization.  

Luke’s conversation with Rey echoes very much the ROTJ “you must confront Vader” conversation.  There are many echoes of ROTJ but given the restrictions on what we are working with, I accepted this parallel.  Much like Luke had to face his unfortunate inheritance, so must Rey.  It’s not terribly original, but these films aren’t.

I also loved the simple line “I was wrong” when Rey asks why he did what he did in TLJ.  This to me is simply “Rian Johnson was wrong/The Last Jedi was wrong.”  There is no excuse that is acceptable, but this is a filmmaker acknowledging an injustice, and I appreciated it.  (Did I mention these films are not canon for me? They aren’t, just giving credit for this attempt.)

Han’s character:  I hated SO MUCH how they turned Han into a failure in TFA.  A buffoon, not even a good smuggler anymore, a failure as a father, a husband.  When I heard he was going to be in this I was like HUH?  But this “memory” of his father that Kylo Ren sees after Rey heals him and departs, after he’s lost his mother, is another attempt to redeem the injustice to Han’s character.  Han is the one in the movie who brings Kylo Ren back to the Light, not Rey.  It is a very short scene, but effective.  The acting is poignant, with the “Dad” working for me.  Maybe I’m a softie.  But I appreciated this brief proof that Han Solo, in the end, didn’t suck as a father, and ultimately, even as a hallucination, inspired the love that saved his son.

Chewbacca got a medal:  I said Abrams was fixing things in the sequels, but I admit I was choked up to see this fixit from A New Hope.  Finally Chewie gets the medal he is LONG overdue.

Team dynamic with the new characters:  Finally we understand why these people care about each other.  They go on shared adventures, they have banter (and some good jokes, not the stupid bathos of TLJ), and there is finally some sense of camaraderie that was discarded in TLJ.  There are several references to Rey’s “new family,” clearly referring to this band of Rebels, and it was far more compelling than in earlier films.

Finn’s Force Sensitivity:  I, like many, desperately wanted Finn to be a Jedi.  Since TFA, it seemed inevitable!  I loved how he used the lightsaber, how he seemed to have Force abilities (that were never really explored).  TLJ ignored that potential completely, sidelining him on that stupid Canto Bight quest and pulling him away from Rey.  There are so many signs that he is destined to be a Jedi in this film, I was thrilled to see them.  Knowing things without explanation, doing amazing things, sensing things, trusting his feelings, it’s another ‘fuck you’ in my opinion, to RJ for ignoring this former stormtrooper’s destiny in favor of overblown set pieces and pointless CGI theatrics.  When he says, towards the end “I can feel it,” I wanted to fist pump.  YOU GO BE A JEDI FINN!  THE FORCE IS WITH YOU.  Personally, I would have loved for Finn to be the main protagonist of all three films, but I appreciate us getting what we got, since we can’t get what we want.

Stuff that worked:

The Wedge cameo:  Yeah.

Lando:  Wonderful. His dialogue, especially at the beginning, does a lot to fix our view of Luke.

Kylo’s redemption:  See above re: Han.  I’ve seen a lot of criticism about the kiss.  I get the whole “female character’s purpose is to validate the evolution of the male” criticism, but I want to point out a couple things about this. First of all, it’s not a “Reylo” kiss. Kylo is gone.  This is well after Kylo is redeemed.  He’s been of the Light for a while before this, it’s clearly Ben at this point.  It’s also obvious Rey knows that, and like Luke forgave Vader for his abuse, she forgives Ben Solo for his.  So I understand also the criticism that is making people puke about Rey kissing her abuser, but again, Luke sheds tears for the father he loves, who maimed and traumatized him.  Star Wars is about redemption and forgiveness that accompanies it, and I don’t have the same issue with this.  If she kissed KYLO without him being redeemed before he died, for example, I would be disgusted.  This is not that.

The cinematography/pacing/story:  So many critics and the spoilers made it sound like this was a convoluted mess.  I went to see it with a non-native English speaker and neither of us had any trouble following the plot.  Yeah, a lot happens, but it all is linear and consistent within the film.

The humor/dialogue:  Felt way more Star Wars-y and better placed than the last two films.

The Jedi Helping Rey:  As much as I thought I would hate this, it was really well done, largely, I think, due to the foreshadowing during her earlier training.  When Palpatine says all the Sith live in him and we know what she’s gonna say but it still works SO WELL.  I was rooting for her and I’ve never been a huge fan.  But at that climactic moment, I was a believer.

Major flaws

Of course there are some.  For me the most major:

A Jedi Strikes Not In Anger: In every single lightsaber battle (pretty sure, I only saw the film once), Rey is the first to strike.  She always seems to be fighting from anger and with negative emotion.  This is not at all Jedi-esque and I found it particularly jarring in her duels with Kylo Ren.  This bothered me more than almost anything else in the film because it is never addressed.  She fights ANGRY and she fights FEARFUL and then somehow when she’s supposed to strike down Palpatine, she has it in her to resist.  This, above all else, makes me not like her as the “heir to the Jedi”.  I thought it was a real problem, and makes her ultimate evolution at the finale less convincing.

Rey Skywalker:  I get why they did it, but I stand by my earlier thoughts regarding taking the Solo or Organa name.  I have nothing against adopted families.  And I found it SLIGHTLY more palpable because since the Emperor refers to Ben as “the last Skywalker” and then since he transfers his entire life force into her, you can argue that she has “Skywalker” literally in her spirit now.  OK fine.  But I still don’t really think she earned it.  She came CLOSER than I thought she would and I didn’t ultimately want to burn down the cinema as I expected I would want to.

Force Resurrection:  No. Just no.  This changes so much and makes so much of the earlier films moot. Why wouldn’t Anakin just resurrect Padme?  Don’t get me started.

Other random new Force things:  Like Force Ghosts touching shit.  Yeah I know Obi Wan sat on the tree in Dagobah, I know, but we keep learning new and more powerful Force shit each film.  Teleportation of objects (that lightsaber?!), astral projection, rapid healing, and now playing catch with your ghost friends.  I get they are important to the story but it feels lazy.  But my exception here was Luke catching the saber because FUCK YOU RJ. 😊

Redemption=Death:  I wanted Kylo Ren to die for his sins too, but I recognize this strange thing we have going on in the GFFA that if a baddie goes good they die.  It’s the equivalent of the horror movie “fuck and the killer gets you” trope.  I didn’t necessarily mind Ben dying, but it seemed … lazy.

The final shot:  It was a mistake to even touch this iconic moment.  It wasn’t earned.  Make your own legend/iconic moment and leave my farmboy his.

Something no one can fix:  The sucky destinies of Luke Jake, Han, and Leia.  They didn’t live happy lives, they didn’t see the end of tyranny, they all died with only the hope of success.  I will never forgive the attempted destruction of the legacy of the OT (attempted cause it’s still how it all ends in my world), this disregard of the triumph of the Rebellion over the Empire, and I will never believe that the New Republic failed so completely and miserably.  Bring on the EU/Legends and forget this shit.

Final thought:  I went to this expecting the cinematic equivalent of a back alley abortion and instead I got what felt like an apology.  An entertaining and polished and sincere apology.  We deserved better, and I think the people who made this film realized that and did their best.  TROS had to wrap up something that was divisive and imperfect and misguided, and tried as hard as it could, in my opinion, given what they were working with.

It was a good movie.  Ambitious, with flaws, but I am glad I saw it, and I hope you will be too. <3  May the Force be with you.

[gibsonmusicart]

Turning Your Story From Pain to Profits

People often ask me how I got started writing one-person shows and I’ve never been able to quite, definitively nail down a concrete answer. Oftentimes I’ve said, "out of artistic necessity," and while that is an absolute truth, it’s only part of the answer. Although I had been a professional actor in Los Angeles, for many, many, many years, I felt like I wasn’t landing the caliber of roles that showcased my unique set of skills. I was an actor who could sing. I had superb comedic timing and I could conjure up such emotional depth in characters that allows me the ability to be totally present, and if need be, authentically cry on a dime. I also possess the rare ability to portray many different walks-of-life from the seediest of characters to the noblest of gentlemen. Why wasn’t I working? Early in my career I had booked a few leads in several independent films, and guest-starred in many television shows, but most of those roles did not lead to more fulfilling parts or a steady acting career. I was at a stalemate and did not know how to dig myself out of the trenches. It wasn’t until a former acting teacher, who knew I was also a writer, asked, "Why aren’t you writing material for yourself?" I thought about the question a while, and honestly didn’t have a concrete answer. So, I responded by saying, "I don’t know." I had never really thought about it. I had written a few books, articles and plays for others, but the thought of writing something specifically for me never crossed my mind. In fact, my first thought was that it seemed a little bit egocentric. Then I started thinking about film actors/directors I admired like Sylvester Stallone, Robert Townsend, Matt Damon, Barbara Streisand, and Spike Lee. These artists had the tenacity to create film projects for themselves when Hollywood wasn’t banging down their doors. But I didn’t have any money or the knowledge of how to get a film script made into a movie. However, I did innately understand theatre, so I set out to develop a stage play for myself. That turned out to be a daunting task as well. It wasn’t until I was introduced to the works of Roger Guenveur Smith, Whoopi Goldberg, Lilli Tomlin and John Leguizamo that a light bulb went off in my head and I thought, "I could do that." However, that "Ah ha," moment was easier said, then done. First off, who wants to perform an hour and a half long monologue? The thought of trying to memorize pages and pages of the dialogue was intimidating enough to make me want to give up before I even started. Especially since, even though I was an actor and trained to memorize lines, I didn’t have the best long-term memory. As I continued to "toy," with the idea, I relaxed my racing mind and finally got around to, "What would I write about?" What I discovered was; I had a lot to say and even more to write. I started thinking about the essays and emails I had written and the topics I passionately spoke about with family and friends. Then it became clear that I would write about the plight of urban education. Alas, my first solo show, Did You Do Your Homework? was born. However, crafting it wasn’t easy. I knew I had something important to say and that getting it out of my head onto the page would be vital in developing the story, but I really had no clue how to start. Everything seemed to be jumbled up and every time I sat sit down to begin, I always found myself getting stuck in a "brain freeze." Frustrated, because I knew I had a story to tell, I almost allowed myself to give up. Then I thought to myself, "I need to approach writing this piece from a different perspective." I can’t start by simply writing the story from beginning to end. I have to first, alleviate my frustration by purging my head and hashing out all the ideas I have in it. Then I thought, "How do I do that?" The answer, "brainstorming." Once I got all my ideas on paper, I could physically see them and go about organizing and arranging them, piece by piece, into an "outline," that was cohesive and chronological. It was only then, that I could begin writing my story. But it didn’t stop there, because what I found, after my first couple of drafts, was that even though my story had a lot of content and interesting characters, it had no heart. It had no deep, pressing purpose or reason why I was telling the story and what made this story so uniquely personal to me. It had no depth. What I discovered was that I had not made the story deeply personal to me. It did not contain what made me a uniquely giving and passionate individual and artist. Even though I intellectually knew that by doing so, would make my story stronger and more affable to audiences, I didn’t want to be that vulnerable. I didn’t want to risk opening up my heart and letting complete strangers in. I wrote, Did You Do Your Homework? out of a need to talk about urban education. Most importantly I wrote this show so that educators could recognize, that although urban kids sometimes come to school with a myriad of social, economic and physical issues, at their core, many of them want the same things out of life as everyone else. They just may not know how to access their own feelings and ambitions because of the trauma they may be dealing with on a daily basis. They haven’t been taught to dream. I was once one of those urban kids who had gone through and survived trauma. I was physically and mentally abused and as a result used drugs and alcohol to numb my pain through middle and high school. In high school, I would go to school all bruised up and sleep through my first-period class because I had been up all night, taking extreme blows to my chest, in order to keep my step-father off of my mom. I would then sleep through the sixth period because I needed the rest and the strength for the night to come. I suffered in silence. My ninth-grade teacher would constantly kick me out of class if I showed up late or slept in her first period. It wasn’t until I got to tenth grade and had a teacher by the name of Jim Underhill who recognized that there was more to me than just the appearance of defiant behavior. He lifted my spirits by encouraging me to be and do more than what I thought was physically possible. He, along with my mom, constantly reinforced the notion that there’s greatness inside me, even when I didn’t believe it. Once I actualized my perspective on why I needed to tell this story and how teachers needed to remove all preconceived notions of who and what urban students are, then I had a way into the hearts and minds of my audiences. They could relate to the struggles and pains of physical and substance abuse and how a man struggling with his own demons is trying to make a difference in the world. At first glance Did You Do Your Homework? is a 12-character solo show about the bureaucracy of urban education and one substitute teacher’s journey through the inner dealings of an urban classroom. However, once you peel back the onion, it becomes a human being’s way of recognizing pain and using it as a catalyst to heal and inspire students going through seemingly insurmountable odds. I wrote this play having been a former teacher. Initially, it was a means to an end. A way to showcase my talents as an actor, singer, and writer. It was also a way for me to use social commentary to perform and talk about issues that were important to me. What I discovered during the writing process was the more it became deeply personal the more authentic and profound my script became. The result; a show, that was slated for one weekend, ran 9 months at the Beverly Hills Playhouse, making it the longest-running show in the history of that organization. It also amassed national and international, critical acclaim, and garnered several awards, including an International Gala Star from Bacau, Romania, a Roar of the Crowd recognition from Goldstar, and an NAACP Theatre Award. This came to fruition because I made a conscious decision to open my heart and let the story I had inside me out. By telling my own deeply personal narrative, from my perspective, in a voice that was uniquely mine, I unleashed my own power, motivated others, and authentically moved audiences. I said, "YES!" took a leap of faith and jumped. It is the best decision I have ever made involving the empowered trajectory of my career. Sometimes you have to get out of your own way and forge your own path in order to fulfill your true passion. You’ve got to, "Jump without a net, and let your conscious passion guide your subconscious dreams into figuring out how you are going to fly." Everyone has a story. What is yours? Whether you feel your life has been ordinary, extraordinary or somewhere in between, you have a life experience that warrants the probability of connecting with and inspiring others. Most people think they have nothing to say. They think their lives are boring, monotonous, or mundane. That there is nothing special about them that would warrant people paying attention, let alone paying money, to sit and watch their story unfold. When I hear people say, "I don’t have anything to write about," "I have nothing to say," or "My life is boring," it drives me nuts because those statements cannot be further from the truth. They’re unreal and firmly rooted in fear. Storytelling is an art that encourages personal narrative. How many people think they do not have anything to write about? How many think they have nothing to say? How many think their lives are boring, meaningless or mundane? Millions! Saying, "I have nothing…," connects you with a community of folks who feel invisible, isolated, undervalued, and even worthless. How many of us have felt this way at one time or another in our lives? I know I have. How many people have said, "There, but for the grace of God…," in recognition that other’s misfortune could have been our own? That statement alone connects us with the experiences of others. So, instead, start with, "I have nothing to say." What you will discover is that you will instantly connect and draw in people who will hear that statement tugging at their heartstrings. The reason; so many people feel that way. It is that simple. What is the story you want to tell and how do you authentically want to create it from your perspective? You are unique. Whatever the topic or subject matter, no one has your life experiences or point of view. No one can tell your story, from your perspective, better than YOU. The real purpose of your life is to fulfill your dreams. Your only responsibility in this process is to fully commit to your own joy and challenge yourself to go beyond what is comfortable. The time is "now," to develop your creative abilities and finally step into your true artistic greatness. Exercise your mind to get out of its own way and turn your "pain," from "passion," to "profits."

Source: ArticleBiz .com

[the-nysh]

I find myself unable to think of Bakugou in any way more positive than "dislike", because he reminds me too much of the people who made my life miserable when I was growing up. (Not that it makes him bad; it's just my emotions.) Do you've any advice on how to bend my mind around that? I don't need to LOVE him, just mentally separate "him" and "the people who make grade school suck for me" so I won't irrationally hate him, because I don't LIKE hating characters.

Hi there! I’m glad to see you come forward, especially tosomeone who’s a big fan of him, after happening to see how far you’veventured through my tags already (whoa dedication!) to seek possible answers or further clarity about this,especially if it’s something that’s still bothering you, oraffecting/preventing you from fully enjoying the series. Because of that, I cantell how serious and genuine you feel about this, so I will take this seriouslyas well. 

(Below, 1800+ words)

Another thing is that it’s okay to feel this way, your personal experiences are still valid,and there’s no obligation to force your feelings otherwise, or subject yourselfto content that may be uncomfortable for you. Please continue to take all theprecautions needed (blocking/blacklisting) for an enjoyable and productivefandom experience. But understanding that even if the characters may havecoincidental similarities to our pasts, they are not direct projections of us, the people in our lives, or our realities.Their world is not ours. So this awareness is another good step to have, tobegin seeing the story (and characters) more openly, objectively and closer tohow Hori originally intended.

Since you’re willing to learn more, and as you may have already seenfrom my content here, Bakugou (Kacchan)became my definitive fav character of the series, but not for thoselingering resentments mentioned. The compelling character I see is so much morebeyond that first ch’s established baseline, which was narratively placed and designedto contrast against who he becomes later on. As a means to gauge and appreciatehis growth and the journey of how far he’s changed into becoming a proper,well-rounded, better person and inspirationalhero. The kind of emotional narrativefocus that always gains my interest and priority to see develop. Already, theperson he is now at 215+ chs is not the same as who he was at ch1 (neither ishe the flanderized, fanon stereotype many have been misled or indoctrinated tofirmly believe he is), and he will keepon developing as the story marches on. I am fully on board to witness thathappen. 

The challenge now, is not letting his initial baseline impression(or the feelings from your own separate –but equally valid– experiences, oreven the vitriol from others) stain or cloud that entire slow-burn progressionof the story going forward. Otherwise the important milestones and insightsinto his character that Hori leaves along the way (which can sometimes bedifficult to see from Deku’s limited pov) end up getting obscured, ignored, oroutright rejected from an internalized feeling of ‘hatred’ that tends to blockout anything newly introduced that would challenge that preconceived perceptionof him. However, to mentally reject such change and prevent the valuedimprovement of a growing person (a learning child in his formative years, forinstance), to otherwise keep the status quo static and unmoving, to permanentlystay rooted exactly the same way as thestart…would in fact be a much more toxic/harmful mindset to have, and actuallydefeats the purpose of telling a proper story as well. 

Setbacks to that challenge unfortunately include thewidespread availability of biased mistranslations (even from official sources),poor/oversimplified characterizations from non-canon content(movies/novels/merch, etc) that’s not written directly by Hori, because all thesethings just reinforce and exacerbate the problem of inflating fanon stereotypesand those preconceived notions that people have already solidified in theirminds as true (when they often aren’t). It gets even worse, and ironicallyhypocritical, when those same people start feeling justified they can go out oftheir way to attack others (includingthe author) for how to ‘properly’ enjoy and interpret the series (for beingdifferent or ‘incorrect’ from the perceptions they believe to be right). Butwhat’s happened is they’ve begun to blindly act on feelings multiple levels sofar removed from what actually is (whatexists as presented within canon, vs what they believe in fanon, vs what exists separately that may beplaguing these people’s real lives), that by then, that kind of maladjustedsocial behavior is inexcusable. Stepping back and realizing when things start crossinglines irrationally out of hand, to prevent that kind of behavior from happeningin the first place, (and again, by taking measures to block/blacklist stuff thataggravates or makes you feel uncomfortable), is the much wiser approach toparticipating and enjoying fandom. So that no matter what happens or what otherssay, they can’t impact or ruin what you love about the series.

Which in my case, includes Kacchan’s character. Basedon what Hori has consistently presented in canon, I can conclude and freely admithe’s the only character I can fully trust. Amazing, right? Because he hasabsolutely nothing to hide. Everything he does (not through his harshwords/temperament, but through his genuine actions),is extremely forthright and honest. He does not half-ass things or hide anyother ulterior motives or malicious intent beyond his dedication to become the best hero. And he takes that goal very seriously. Striving for and expectingexcellence from himself (and all themental pressure that self-imposed perfectionism brings) and others. Currently in the manga that includes Deku now too, whomhe willingly goads (showing support in his own way) and checks in on for hisprogress too.

Remember his fights in the sports tournament, how he takesall challengers with equal commitment/opportunity (gender does not matter),provided they give him their best inturn as well, because to do otherwise –to go easy on them or hold back– wouldbe disrespectful and underestimating an opponent. There’s a very just and admirablehonor in that. Remember how he can’tstand anyone looking down on him, which includes how he misinterpreted Deku’sfeelings of admiration for disdain(he could not accurately read Deku’s intentions, and became so perplexed by himthat he assumed the worst: that Deku looked down on him instead). Considering the level of seriousness and effort he alwaysputs forth, to be confronted with the opposite would be personally insulting.

Remember when the villains invited him to join their ranks(because they misread and shallowly judged his character), he stuck to his idealsand outright refused their offer.(Boldly exploding villains in the face~) Risking death over playing it safe andlying to pretend to follow along totheir whims. (How brave and badass is that?!) Kacchan does not lie, cheat theeasy way out, or do things he’s not feeling or doesn’t agree with. Again, honesty. Becoming a villain, a traitor,or betraying those who’ve earned his trust? Absolutely no chance. Afterlearning AM’s secret and finally understanding/rectifying everything that didn’tadd up about Deku, would he go behind their backs by breaking promises? No way.Again, most trustworthy character. 

Rereading the story a second time over, but from his perspective, practically doubled myappreciation and enjoyment of the series. Thinking about how the foundations oftheir society impacted his world views at such a young age, to the very betrayal he must have felt thinking achildhood friend lied to him aboutsomething as important/vital as a quirk. (And if we already know how he feelsabout cheating liars…hmm, faithful loyaltynow feels like a valued trait.) Other factors include his relatable giftedchild syndrome, all the complexes born from that, and for how extremely intelligent,competent, and much more calmly calculating he is than his short temper may lead one to believe. How he was oncea ‘big fish in a small pond’, now thrust into the ocean to compete among evenother bigger fish, with the pressure to both succeed and prove himself…all whilehis previous world views are checked and challenged every step of the way.

For years he’d been valued and praised for only the promisingpotential and primary trait of his strong quirk. (The reinforcement for his badbehavior on the other hand? Not valued with the same proper attention.) Alreadythat’s an unfortunate consequence of their quirk-filled, hero-commodified society. Think of justhow shallow/fake groupies would be, or how annoying and hollow it would feel tohave people cling to him just for that (for talent and skills over his meritsas a person), and just how difficult forming genuine, natural bonds would be… (Becomingself-reliant now becomes another added pressure he has to juggle on his own.) Beforequirks had ever entered the picture and complicated things further, Deku was probablyconsidered the closest friend he had. Until…misunderstandings happened, andthen the only thing he wanted was for Deku to stay away from him. (A misconception is that Kacchan actively soughtDeku out, when it’s actually the opposite: Kacchan only reacted if Dekuencroached on him too closely.) Because he feared how Deku made him feel,forcing him to face his own shortcomings, and address perceptions of reality hedid not want to face. Because for someone he perceived as the weakest, to boldly goagainst that and do what Deku did (help him out of concern/kindness, but thatintent only read as pitying to him),made him feel even below that. And what’slower than the low of the weakest/most useless? Pretty ouch, so stop followingand stay back. Yet Deku just kept on coming back no matter what, for reasons hecouldn’t yet understand. (Deku felt genuine care and admiration for him, whichKacchan hadn’t realized, so gah, dramatic irony.) His changing feelings, correctinghis attitude, and clarifying his relationship to Deku, who continually challengesand defies his very worldview and perception of weakness, brings a whole otherfascinating draw to the series, which would take a whole other essay to fully analyze(but which many other fans have thoroughly done so already). 

Further considerations include his struggles facing other relatablefeelings. How he confronts the pain and weight of experiencing loss, survivor’sguilt, and assessing powerlessness and the inability to save situations beyondhis control. Internalizing self-doubt, hatred, failure, and inferiority…because‘if only he were stronger.’ What Isee is a child overburdened by expectations and responsibilities beyond hisyears…who has to learn to process and overcome many of those same feelings I’vealready gone through and had to come to terms with growing up. (The very reasonhe’s often and endearingly referred to as a ‘son.’) The majority of adults inhis life assumed he was already ‘strong enough’ and ‘fine’ on his own, theyneglected to give him proper mental guidance going forward (AM even admitsthis). And we unfortunately see the tragic consequences of that. But fortunately,things are getting better, and Hori’s story for him still isn’t over yet.   

Overall, what I see is the chance for an excellent,multi-layered, and well-written character to become even better. And that’s why his narrative is so particularly engaging. Doeshe remind me of the kids that once made certain social aspects of grade schoolinsufferable? No, because that’s not who he is; he’s so far removed and beyond them, that they’ve become extras whono longer matter anymore. Instead of lingering on such negatives, it’s insteadthe positive aspects about him that shine through even stronger. The fact heisn’t perfect, but deeply flawed and learning to address his shortcomings in nowmore productive ways. This progression and growth makes him interesting, and combinedwith the many other traits I’ve mentioned above, favored and loved bymany. Although ultimately I can’t change your opinion about him (that’s stillup to you to decide, and it’s ok to still dislike characters), hopefully I’veintroduced new ways of perceiving and appreciating his character for you. Tohelp see some of the positives that Deku always valued in him as a drivingsource of inspiration too: to strive hard despite life’s setbacks, and win. ‘He may be a jerk, but he’s amazing.’

[dispatchesfromromancelandia]

Dispatch #004: Happy book birthday to “SIX WEEKS WITH A LORD” by Eve Pendle | ARC review and interview

Grace Alnott is out of time. To save her younger brother from an abusive guardian, her merchant father’s will demands she must marry a peer. Handsome but destitute Everett Hetherington, Earl of Westbury agrees to her offer of a marriage of convenience but stipulates she must live with him for six weeks. No matter how honorable he seems she can’t allow him to get too close, because the aristocracy cannot be trusted.

Six weeks. Major Everett Hetherington, new Earl of Westbury, has exactly six weeks to convince the very independent Grace Alnott to spend the rest of her life with him. Despite her belief she doesn't belong in his world, he must tempt the alluring Grace into staying, because he has fallen for her. Hard. He just has to ensure she never discovers his secret.

Rarely do I come across a debut so skillfully crafted. This novel has got everything: impeccable historical research, nuanced portrayal of class privilege and the power of money, a slow burn romance between protagonists who are perfect for each other that inevitably explodes like fireworks.

The conflicts stems from the fact that Grace and Everett both enter the relationship with certain preconceived notions about their partner and they both take on the burden of responsibility for people in their lives. She craves independence and wishes to be put before anything else by her husband; he wants to maintain his family's good name and protect his wife. Oh, the angst!

The first half of the book focuses on them slowly building trust and getting to know each other while trying to figure out how to get out of trouble. The second half of the book turns sexy. Grace and Everett are developing feelings but both are stuck in the web of lies they'd set up. Have to admit, there was a time when I wasn't sure I could forgive Everett but the groveling made up for all the mistakes.

What I appreciate in this novel is the level of consent. Since Everett vowed to never claim marital rights, Grace is the one who needs to make the first step. While he always respected the boundaries and did everything to make her feel safe, he wasn't above teasing her to make sure she knows how desirable she was. Who knew a candlelit conversation in the middle of the night through closed door would be so romantic? And oh, their first kiss was so dreamy I twirled in delight :)

Most importantly, the prose was exquisite and the writing flows neatly. I was pleasantly surprised by the accuracy of historical context. This is exactly the type of historical romance that is up my alley.

I will say, if any kind of deceit or mentions of violence against women or children are dealbreakers for you, this might not a book for you and that is ok.

Now, let’s have a word with the author, Eve Pendle.

Thank you for chatting with me and congratulations on this terrific debut!

What made you want to write historical romance?

The first romance I ever read was a mills and boon historical called the autumn rose. Before that book, I remember rereading the tiny romantic parts in books, like when Achilles falls in love with a Trojan girl in a version of the Iliad that my parents had. Then there was whole books that gave me that sensation!

So I think a part of my love of historical romance is from that initial experience. Partly it's because I love history. I love to go to old houses and read about how women's lives were in the past (not wars and stuff, that's not for me).

But more than that, I think I find it difficult to suspend my sense of reality with contemporary romance. The people and the situations are too similar to things I see every day or on television, and those things aren't fun or romantic. But then, that's silly, because the past was NOT like it is in romances. I don't know. It's not a completely consistent viewpoint.

I think the most honest answer is, because I like it. I find it a nice fantasy place to spend time, with interesting problems that seem different to those today, but are at core the same emotional, moral, and social dilemmas.

What is your writing process like? What is your priority and what inspires you?

I'm a planner. I have spreadsheets and diagrams with character arcs, plot arcs, nesting of opening and closing of plot points, point of view for each scene, who is most affected, when new information is revealed... the whole lot. And in conjunction with that, I write on-the-fly. I write on a notes app on my phone most of the time, then edit in word or, more recently scrivener. Scrivener is good, but not organised enough for me. I need spreadsheets.

My priority is the emotional journey of the heroine. Which is deeply ironic, as most people seem to love my heroes. But at heart my stories are about scared, insecure heroines finding someone to love them. That's... not... a self-own... at all?

As for inspiration, I have no idea. Sitting down with the intention of working. Or often I ask, how is [character name] doing? And that will bring me back to a point in the story, maybe a conflict or maybe a happy moment, and I'll write about that. Sometimes (often) that means that particular scenes get written more than once, and I have to merge them together.

How is writing a novel different from a short story? Which one do you prefer?

A character in a short story cannot have too much sh*t to deal with - they need a HEA quickly, after all. So they're not as interesting to me, generally. I'm liking novellas at the moment. The short format means there is only space for the emotional core of the story. Two people, and how they are going to deal with their hang-ups to get to love each other fully. In a longer story there's a lot more room for other things besides the main romance and more complex feelings to develop.

Lightning round! Time for a few fun quick questions to get to know our protagonists a bit better:

If Grace and Everett were to travel abroad, where would they go?

Oh, this is really tricky. Grace would want to go to India because Everett talks about it, as he lived/worked there for a while. Everett wouldn't think that was a good idea, as he dislikes colonialism and knows Grace would be very cross at all the inequality and would lose her sh*t at the caste system.

They'd do better to stay at home, to be honest, as they've got enough to deal with. But if Grace wanted to go to India, they'd go to India. I can't guarantee it would end well, though.

Which books would they read together when they spend a quiet evening by the fireplace?

Grace loves Dickens, so they'd read him. He talks quite a bit about social issues, but he also is scathing in his portrayal of people.

What kind of pet would they adopt?

Whatever turned up.

What kind of sweets would Everett feed Grace?

Strawberries. Peaches. Cake.

What kind of a reader are you? What is your kryptonite when it comes to historical romance?

I'm a terribly fussy reader, but my absolute weakness is forced proximity and enemies to lovers with combustible sexual attraction. I have to physically restrain myself from buying marriage of convenience whenever I see it.

Any book recommendations you wish to bring to our attention?

Elizabeth Keysian is another UK historical romance author I've got to know through us being published with the same publisher. She is an awesome history buff, and writes perfectly balanced historical romances with a bit of angst, humor, details, and swoony heroes.

Would you care to share a bit about your next project?

I'm SO EXCITED about the charity Christmas historical romance anthology coming later this year. It's in aid of Planned Parenthood and they're all second chance romances. Five authors, including me, are involved. They're such wonderful stories, sweet, heartfelt, funny, and touching. If you'd like an email when it's available, you can sign up for my new releases email list and enter a draw to win an ebook copy of Six Weeks with a Lord.

Thank you 😘 ❤️

It was a pleasure!

[b0okish-world]

Harry Potter and the Cursed Child - J.K. Rowling

Synopsis: The Eighth Story. Nineteen Years Later. Based on an original new story by J.K. Rowling, Jack Thorne and John Tiffany, a new play by Jack Thorne, Harry Potter and the Cursed Child is the eighth story in the Harry Potter series and the first official Harry Potter story to be presented on stage. The play will receive its world premiere in London’s West End on July 30, 2016. It was always difficult being Harry Potter and it isn’t much easier now that he is an overworked employee of the Ministry of Magic, a husband and father of three school-age children. While Harry grapples with a past that refuses to stay where it belongs, his youngest son Albus must struggle with the weight of a family legacy he never wanted. As past and present fuse ominously, both father and son learn the uncomfortable truth: sometimes, darkness comes from unexpected places.

My thoughts: GINNY: “Harry, there is never a perfect answer in this messy, emotional world. Perfection is beyond the reach of humankind, beyond the reach of magic. In every shining moment of happiness is that drop of poison: the knowledge that pain will come again. Be honest to those you love, show your pain. To suffer is as human as to breathe.”

On July 21, Harry Potter and the Cursed Child, a new play based on a story by Rowling, Jack Thorne and John Tiffany premiered at the Palace Theatre in London’s West End. The play, along with the book publication of its script, is the first significant addition to the Potter universe since the credits rolled on the second Deathly Hallows movie in 2011. Harry Potter stands peerless in the realm of literary hits, so Cursed Child was an assured commercial success even before it debuted. Written as a transcript, Cursed Child follows the next generation of wizards and witches.

I found the latest instalment of the Harry Potter series to be an enjoyable read in the sense that it allowed me to revisit old friends made many years ago (even if only for an afternoon). Harry Potter and the Cursed Child reignited that childlike imaginative spark in me, which is the reason I fell in love with the world of Hogwarts in the first place. Without going into too much detail, the play focussed on the difficulty Harry and Ginny’s son, Albus Severus, has with being the underperforming child of “the boy who lived”. Albus struggles with living u pro the reputation of the Potter name, and subsequently becomes a bit of a loner who does not hold the same esteem for Hogwarts as his parents would have hoped. The piece also speaks to the difficulty Harry is parenting a somewhat rebellious Albus, who is often viewed by others to be “different”. When Albus befriends the child of a certain former Slytherin house member with whom Harry shared several altercations with during his time at Hogwarts, Harry is tasked with determining whether he should intervene to keep Albus out of trouble, or rather to put his preconceived notions of Malfoy’s only son aside and allow Albus to continue to spend time with his one true friend. In addition, Harry must also make Albus understand the difference between seeking out trouble versus confronting it when it presents itself to you - a lesson Albus eventually learns through the course of the play.

SCORPIUS: No, it's time that time-turning became a thing of the past. ALBUS: You’re quite proud of that phrase, aren’t you? SCORPIUS: Been working on it all day.

While many readers have voiced their concerns over the writing style and how it pales in comparison to the original series, I would offer the following point. This work is written in such a style to facilitate live performances. As such, it seems unfair to compare the extent to which characters are developed and the over plot complexity to J.K. Rowling’s original series. The original seven were not bound by the added task of producing a narrative which can easily be digested in a spoken format (in addition to proving itself worthy of the original series as a standalone literary text). As I have always preferred dialogue over description, this writing form has been proven itself worthy due to its easy and fast nature to read.

I truly don’t understand what’s become of J.K. Rowling in recent years. She transformed the literal and cinematic realms with her Potter books, pioneering fantasy trends that continue to this day. I suppose she’s trying to make stage plays more popular now? Not sure if that will take off, and it’s kind of unfair for the many fans who can’t afford to go see the play themselves. Those people are stuck reading the script, which requires a lot more imagination to really enjoy. There’s very little of Rowling’s great descriptive prose on display, mostly just dialogue - and it’s unclear how much of that was actually written word for word by her personally. It sounds like her style; I’ll say that. But reading it definitely pales in comparison to reading an actual book. Frankly, I’m disappointed that Rowling hasn’t taken the time to flesh this out into a novel. The same goes for the other Potter related fiction she’s written lately - the pre-Fantastic Beasts pieces on Pottermore, to be precise. Its like reading pitches she hasn’t bothered to turn into real books. Obviously, when you’re as famous as Rowling, you can get away with posting your world building notes online or having somebody else turn a story idea into a script and still have millions reading the stuff… but it smacks of laziness on her part, in my opinion.

DUMBLEDORE: Perfection is beyond the reach of humankind, beyond the reach of magic.

If you came to this book hoping for a new era of Harry Potter, you’re going to be disappointed. This book is an epilogue to the original series, not the start of a new one. There’s nothing ground breaking. The mythology is not expanded, and the new characters spend most of their time dealing with the legacies of the original cast. I’m gratified that the wizarding world will be built up by the Fantastic Beasts film(s), but there's a lot of untapped potential in the modern Potterverse that isn’t even touched in “Cursed Child”. There wasn’t enough of Hogwarts, unfortunately, and only focused on the magic outside the castle. I would have liked to see more of the home Harry Potter grew up in.

What makes “Cursed Child” work despite all the strikes against it is what it does with the aftermath of the original stories. If “Deathly Hallows” had to have a follow up in the first place, then this is a surprisingly good one. It’s certainly an improvement on the frequently criticised, rushed epilogue to “Hallows”. This is basically an expansion on that last chapter, exploring what it’s like for Albus Potter to grow up dealing with his famous dad’s legacy, and it’s very believable in that respect. True, Albus doesn’t come across as likeable until near the end of the book, and even Harry shows some striking flaws as a father, but given where both these characters are coming from, these problems make sense. It’s not the forced “happily ever after” of the Hallows epilogue; it’s complex and realistic. Additionally, there’s a very sympathetic, funny character in play in the form of Scorpius Malfoy, Draco's son. He ends up stealing the show, and is arguably the hero of the story in his own right. His lines made me laugh out loud more than once, and convinced me that to whatever degree Rowling was involved in writing this story, she’s clearly still “got it”

.ALBUS: “So what would you like me to do? Magic myself popular? Conjure myself into a new house? Transfigure myself into a better student? Just cast a spell, Dad, and change me into what you want me to be, okay? It’ll work out better for both of us.”

Scorpius was a great addition into the story. His friendship/relationship with Albus was pure, and I appreciate the attention provided towards the importance of friendship. I definitely understand why people would like to see them together as the dialogue and quick descriptions indicate a relationship, which ultimately seems to be more than friendship. Draco and Harry talking, and viewing each other as friends made me feel emotional; it took them more than twenty years, but it was worth it. I still don’t understand the story surrounding Draco and his wife, Astoria. It doesn’t make sense, and seems like bullshit the writers created to expand the plot/story.

Parts of the story itself felt a little overdone and rushed, but you must keep in mind that this addition is originally intended to be watched, not read, with delivery fitting under a specific window of time. For this, I know I did not experience the full breath and absorption of Cursed Child during my read through, and I am sure live performance characteristics such as dialectic nuances and set transformations would definitely expand this work even more, but just reading the play itself took me back into this world of magic, mishap, and mischievousness that Potterheads are long time familiar with. I am curious how the experience of watching it live differs, and cannot wait to see it when I have the chance.

DUMBLEDORE: “Harry, there is never a perfect answer in this messy, emotional world. Perfection is beyond the reach of humankind, beyond the reach of magic. In every shining moment of happiness is that drop of poison: the knowledge that pain will come again. Be honest to those you love, show your pain. To suffer is as human as to breathe.”

The Trolley Witch part made me feel uneasy. It was irrelevant towards the plot, and made me cringe while reading it. I’ve come to a conclusion, in which I cannot consider these events as cannon. As much as I enjoy certain twists and additions into the story, much of it doesn’t fit with the original Harry Potter books or does not seem to work. It felt as if the plot read like fan fiction, with its revisiting of the original novels’ plot points, its cameos of beloved characters, and its too satisfying outcomes; Hermione, for instance, is Minister for Magic and Ginny is sports editor for the Daily Prophet. Ron seems completely out of character, and revealed he was drunk at his wedding; there was a desperate attempt of humour with his character, which didn’t seem like the original Ron.

Voldemort having a child completely turned me off. He has been hinted to have a relationship with Bellatrix throughout the books, but them having an actual affair and child doesn’t seem to fit. How could Bellatrix be pregnant during the Wizarding War? There was no explanation for this, only the child was born during this time. Of course, their child would want to avenge them, and bring Voldemort back. Another villain would have improved Harry Potter and the Cursed Child as Voldemort’s daughter didn’t do the book any justice. I will not accept that Voldemort had a child with Bellatrix. I can’t, and I won’t. 

HARRY: “I shouldn’t have survived - it was my destiny to die - even Dumbledore thought so - and yet I lived. I beat Voldemort. All these people - all these people - my parents, Fred, the Fallen Fifty - and it’s me that gets to live? All this damage - and it’s my fault.”

It’s a shame because there’s a lot of possibility here. There are interesting storylines taking place here, they just aren’t executed on the level we’ve come to expect from a Rowling product. I enjoy reading time travelling stories, as well as revisiting beloved characters much later in life, but this isn’t how these characters act. Albus should never have been this whiny. I liked him in the seventh book. I liked Harry in the original 7. But, here, the characters have become annoying or flat. Additionally, I wasn’t a fan of hoe entwined in the story Harry was. I’ve already witnessed him and everything he is capable of in the original seven books. Now, he's a blubbering fool. You can’t sit there and tell me that Harry Potter, the boy who lived, is going to run to Ginny every time he has a minor problem, and he is not allowed to eat sugar.

Having said that, as a reader, you have time to appreciate on the page how nimbly Thorne’s writing navigates the adventure’s death defying twists and turns, and his stage directions have poetry of their own, a style that in its lyricism and sense of the abstract is distinct from Rowling’s more direct, story driven prose. For example, when Albus arrives at Hogwarts and is sorted into his school house, we are told: “There’s a silence. A perfect, profound silence. One that sits low, twists a bit and has damage within it.” When the children travel in time, Thorne’s stage direction notes how: “time stops. And then it turns over, thinks a bit, and begins spooling backwards…”

DRACO: “…And being alone - that’s so hard. I was alone. And it sent me to a truly dark place. For a long time. Tom Riddle was also a lonely child. You may not understand that, Harry, but I do…”

As a story containing many possible alternate realities, with a text created to varying degrees by three collaborators, Harry Potter and the Cursed Child is a complement to Rowling’s original series rather than a straightforward continuation. It won’t satisfy all fans: some have already taken issue with the story’s extensive reliance on time travel, the use of which seems to disagree with the magical precedent set int he books. Others have quibbled with the portrayal of Harry’s character: he comes across as pricklier and even more troubles than he was in Rowling's books. And though the release is eagerly anticipated by adult fans who grew up with the books, it remains to be seen whether children will connect with reading a complex story in a less familiar script form.

The emotional climax is devastating even on paper. Once again, the fantasy world that Rowling created nearly 20 years ago is at its most powerful when it sets aside magic and reveals the basic, brutal and human mechanics of love and grief. The characters are, mostly, exactly as you remember them, and it’s difficult to overstate how exciting it is to read a new story set in this widely loved fantasy universe. The thrill of a new Harry Potter book, even in script form, is its own kind of magic spell.

HARRY: “You know what? I’m done being made responsible for your unhappiness. At least you’ve got a dad. Because I didn’t, okay?”

Nonetheless, there is still plenty in this new release to tempt fans, for familiarities abound and the magic is intact, if fleeting. Details are minimal for settings, as can be expected given the format, but it works, as there was an assumption that anyone reading the book knows the world inside and out and can paint the pictures in the mind. In fact, fans will find much that is recognisable in the new story, in spite of the altered vessel of delivery. It is worth nothing that there is no effort made by either Rowling or Thorne to acquaint a Harry Potter newcomer to the world, so it is advised for those not familiar with the original series to read the books in sequence. From the opening lines - once the reader adjusts to the pace and syntax of the script format - a comforting feeling descends, for the world seems just as it was left when the last pages of Book 7 were reluctantly closed.

Rowling never misses a chance to raise a moral conundrum, and characters are always deeper than two dimensional, even in script form. Albus Potter, bearing the unwelcome burden of being the son of the most famous wizard to live, is faced with having to navigate Hogwarts with the same lack of anonymity as his father did. The first person young Albus encounters on the train is Scorpuis Malfoy, the son of Harry’s nemesis, Draco Malfoy. Young Rose Weasley, daughter of Hermione and Ron, heads off to make other friends, but Albus stays, in typical Rowling fashion, he befriends the last person his father would expect him to. These sorts of moral twists are some of the reasons Rowling’s books resonate so deeply, as they appeal to our better natures.

HARRY [quoting Dumbledore]: “The truth is a beautiful and terrible thing, and should therefore be treated with great caution.”

The twists and turns continue, and preconceptions and expectations are turned on their heads, as though Rowling is reminding the reader that change is good and an open mind should always be the goal. Not only are the characters’ prejudices challenged, but so, too, are those of the reader, and once again Rowling takes a fantasy and elevates it with characters that are distinct, flawed and endearing. There will be plenty who denounce Rowling for reopening Harry Potter’s world, but for those for whom the loves run deep, treasures await.

If it all sounds confusing, it is, as there were several hands involved in the creation of the first two instalments that are set 19 years after Harry Potter left Hogwarts and defeated the Dark Lord Voldemort. Rowling hinted at this glimpse of Harry’s future in the epilogue of “Harry Potter and the Deathly Hallows,” and some of that much analysed final chapter is overlapped nearly verbatim in the play’s script; indeed, it serves as a jumping off point for a new and wondrous adventure for Harry, his cohorts and the next generation of wizarding offspring. For true Potter fans, this might be enough to be pulled back into the story. That said, the very nature of the play format of “Harry Potter and the Cursed Child” allows for very little detail, which is where Rowling’s real storytelling gifts reside. Her ability to build fully developed characters is unsurpassed and is what comprises the centre of the allure of the Harry Potter series. 

DRACO: Hermione Granger, I’m being bossed around by Hermione Granger. And I’m mildly enjoying it.

Lastly, Draco and Hermione have been shipped together since the books first came out, and there is a moment dedicated to them. I’ve never understood the obsessiveness of their relationship, and it disgusts me; it's like shipping a white man who is racist with a black woman. It doesn’t make sense. He might have changed his attitude towards muggle born people, his prejudice will never completely disappear. This tine, I must admit, made me smile a bit as I realised it will make the majority of Draco and Hermione shippers happy. Yes, I felt happy for them, as pathetic as it makes me sound.

The story, once you get past the awkward format, is gripping. I devoured it in one afternoon. There are quite a few surprises in store for hardcore fans. On the whole, the tone is very appropriate for those who have “grown up” along with Harry. Fans who are now adults can relate with the themes explored here, even when characters mess up pretty badly. Harry certainly made plenty of his own mistakes over the years, and occasionally acted like a jerk. I’d argue that it’s worth giving Harry’s progeny a chance, even if you don't take to him at first. At the very least, read it for Scorpius. I’m not saying you definitely won’t be disappointed, but there are far worse ways for a Potter fan to bide the time until Fantastic Beasts gives us a weightier addition to the potter universe.

DRACO: Keep up, old man. HARRY: We’re the same age, Draco. DRACO: I wear it better.

Date finished: 27th March, 2017 Pages: 309 Rating/5: ★★★

[darspeaksout]

In praise of Crazy Rich Asians by Kevin Kwan

There is one truth that prevails when it comes to how Asians are portrayed in the media: they are royally misrepresented. In all the mainstream films I’ve seen, Asian characters are either smart (being ridiculously talented in a musical instrument, most typically the piano, a pastime I can guarantee you was forced upon them by their parents; and known for their superhuman abilities in doing complicated math equations in their head), or they’re supposed to possess mastery in the martial arts. Through these stereotypes created and perpetuated by ignorant film directors (who, most of the time, are not even Asian themselves), you can see how Asian people are reduced to fit into these stuffy boxes from which they cannot escape, and break free from the preconceived notions that society forcefully insists they live up to. If you’re Asian, you are only allowed to like math, to be conservative, to be obedient, to know how to fight, but worst of all – you are only allowed to serve the plot as background noise. You do not get your own story. You do not get to relish in the spotlight. You are stuck in a box. But author Kevin Kwan of 2013 novel Crazy Rich Asians, is taking a Japanese samurai sword and cutting the edges of that box, putting you in a world where you, for once, finally feel like you belong. Now you have your own story, your own spotlight. Now you’re no longer in a box; instead, you are on a private plane headed to Singapore, sitting on leather seats, about to attend Colin Khoo’s and Araminta Lee’s forty-million dollar wedding.

I could go on forever about why I believe Crazy Rich Asians is a masterpiece, but for this review, I’ll keep the focus on three things: the truths exposed by its satirical nature, its dynamic cast of characters, and the cultural awareness that it brings to the world of literature.

One may think, based on the cover – a side profile picture of an Asian woman with fair skin, elegant shiny hair wrapped in a bun, sunglasses, red lipstick, sapphire earrings, and white pearls – that this story is purely a light-hearted, comical read. But after reading only the opening, you’ll realize that Kevin Kwan is picking out the stereotypes of the three kinds of Chinese, and scrutinizing them ruthlessly (yes, there are three kinds of Chinese). There are the Chinese who live in Mainland China, then those who live in Taiwan, then those who live in Singapore. Among these groups, there are certain stereotypes and prejudices associated with each. For example, Mainlanders enjoy publicly flaunting their wealth while Singaporeans like to be rather modest about theirs. Not only is race the subject of satire, but also wealth. Rachel Chu, the main character, is an economics professor with a PhD who lives in New York, and earns a more-than-satisfactory income, and would be seen to most ordinary people as wealthy, but not in the entitled, glaring eyes of Eleanor Young – her boyfriend, Nicholas Young’s, disapproving mother. Eleanor understands that one day, Nick will inherit the family fortune that is worth billions of dollars equivalent to the half of Singapore, and she believes that Rachel is not the right woman for Nick. You can see how even among the rich, there are those who are considered richer than others; hierarchy, status, and comparison prevail. In the novel there is the notion that if you must labour for your wealth instead of being born into it, you are considered low. Kevin Kwan blatantly addresses this issue when Nicholas confronts his mother, saying, “Just because some people actually work for their money doesn’t mean they are beneath you.” What is also satirized is the picture-perfect lives of the crazy rich, but they are all, in some way, struggling in their personal lives. For example, one character has the money to spend hundreds of thousands of dollars on couture dresses and designer necklaces, and is very well-liked among her social circle of fashionistas, but is kept awake at night by the paranoia that her husband may be cheating on her. Another character is on the front page of every tabloid magazine in Singapore and is regarded as the most handsome and eligible bachelor of his time, but only his best friend knows about his anxiety and depression. It turns out that contrary to what most people think, those who have a lot of money tend to be miserable, and their wealth should not be taken as an indicator of their level of fulfilment.

Since the novel chronicles the lives of three different families – the Youngs, the Shangs, and the T’siens – the reader is made to keep up with a large cast of characters. The novel is written in third-person unlimited, with each chapter devoted to advancing either the main plot or one of the subplots, also telling the reader where in the world they are currently located (because remember, these people are rich and own private planes, so we’re not just in Singapore the entire time). You could be in New York witnessing Nicholas and Rachel discussing how Rachel should behave upon meeting Nicholas’ family, and then suddenly in the next chapter you’re in Paris picking out designer jewelry with Astrid, and then you’re at “prayer group” with Eleanor and her squad of Singaporean moms (which is really just a gossiping session with starchy noodles and a few Bible verses thrown out here and there), and then you’re at a bachelor party in Macau, partying like reckless college kids with Colin and Bernard. You never know where you’ll end up next! And that’s what’s entertaining about the novel – everything is so unexpected, you have no choice but to just go with it, because you want to find out more. Aside from switching where the characters are geographically, the story sometimes switches where the characters are at in time. Flashbacks occur often, giving perspective to how the characters have matured over time. And since the cast is so large, there are three generations to keep up with: children, parents, and grandparents – all of whom have different attitudes when it comes to family loyalty and spending habits, serving as good opportunities for some intense disputes and praiseworthy satire! What I must acknowledge Kevin Kwan for in particular, is his ability to tell a story with multiple plots, without making the reader feel like some are being prioritized while others are being neglected; the pacing felt very natural, each plot told with an equal amount of thought and precision, delivering a very satisfying conclusion to the story overall. Nothing was left unexplained or ambiguous; the ending was very clear, but left enough room for the reader to ask what happens next? Seriously, I struggle to write one plot and develop it, but how the fried satay does Kevin Kwan write multiple, and develop them so equally, intertwining them with one another in a way that seems so natural? I’m convinced he’s crazy genius.

The satirical nature and the dynamic, multi-layered and conflicted characters ultimately contribute to a masterpiece that boosts the much-needed cultural awareness to the Asian demographic. It seemed like prior to reading this book, I have forsaken any hope that my people would ever be represented in the media in a way that was authentic, true, and captured the emotional and political strife that we have gone throughout the generations. In all the films I’d seen growing up, Asian characters were either really smart, really talented, really conservative, really incompetent in their English skills, really poor, really… one-sided. Crazy Rich Asians takes all of these mainstream notions and throws them out the revolving glass windows of a private plane, plunging them into the South China Sea (I love you if you if you recognize this line). This comical, satirical masterpiece shows that some Asians are quick-thinkers and intellectual; some are superficial and relish in gossip; some are talented and ambitious, some are idle and lazy; some are traditional, some strive to rebel against tradition; some speak English with an accent, some speak it like it’s always been their mother tongue; some come from humble backgrounds like farmers or servants, some were born into the life of royalty and riches. And that is what is eye-opening about this book: it tells the stories of Asian people who come from different walks of life. Don’t be deceived by its title; the characters may be rich, but not all of them started off rich. And despite their acquired financial wealth, they are poor inside; they struggle just as you and me. I am not Chinese; I’m full Filipino. But Kevin Kwan, being the exceptionally talented writer that he is, made me feel a little closer to my Asian roots, and all the realities that many Asians face: leaving your homeland and immigrating to a new country, fighting to be respected by your in-laws, the pressure for women to get married and bear children, the unbreakable bond between parent and child, and many others. This book got me teary-eyed at some parts, made me laugh at others, and taught me some words in Singlish (Singaporean and English). It made me feel what a book hasn’t made me feel in a long time, but what’s important is that it made me feel even more connected to my Asian heritage. This book is a reminder that we are not our stereotypes; we are human beings who deserve to be portrayed authentically and accurately.

And speaking of being portrayed, Crazy Rich Asians is being brought to life in theatres sometime in 2018, and will be directed by Jon M. Chu (Step Up 2, G.I Joe: Retaliation, and others), and will feature (this is the best part) – an ALL-ASIAN CAST. Personally, I am so excited for this film because it is an opportunity to raise cultural awareness and increase career prospects for Asian actors in Hollywood. I acknowledge that there are other programs out there already sparking conversations and cultural awareness (such as Fresh Off The Boat), but this film in particular, I have a strong feeling, is going to be record-breaking. Meanwhile, I’ll be keeping updated on the progress of this film, and now I need to get my hands on the sequel, China Rich Girlfriend.

So what are you still doing here, lah*? Start reading Crazy Rich Asians!

See you next time on #DarReviews!

*”Lah” is a suffix that can be used at the end of any phrase to add emphasis, but there’s no logical explanation as to why the Singaporeans use it, lah.