#he's someone who's REALLY good at ignoring thing he doesn't like and brainwashing himself into thinking they don't exist

[singingcicadas]

I find it super ironic that Cyclonus has this highly romanticized, propagandic view of the Decepticons, because like:

This is him 🔽

And this is also him 🔽

Dude you yourself was a member of the ruling elite of the old order. Even if what you said about the Decepticons were all true, you're a big part of why people needed to be emancipated in the first place.

He was part of Nova Prime's inner cadre during a time when bigotry and oppression was even more predominant. Nova. who's literally the founder of functionism, which flourished and peaked under the so-called Golden Age of his rule. And Galvatron's... Galvatron, I don't even want to talk about him everyone knows what he's like. But Cyclonus was somehow fine with being yes-man to both?

The way he spoke about the Decepticons, it sounded as if he's this super dedicated sjw filled with righteous passion about stuff like liberation and revolution and emancipation and 'the people', when in truth it's shown that he'd never cared about any of those things before that point.

Nova Prime's ideology was literally this:

And Cyclonus didn't have a problem with it during his entire life before the Ark, compared to more decent people like Dai Atlas and Omega Supreme who eventually clashed with their group and got kicked off the Ark b/c they couldn't stand Nova and co.'s lack of a bottom line and misuse of the word freedom.

As a matter of fact Cyclonus still believed in Nova Prime after he became Nemesis - not that he was much of a better person as Nova. Where's his sense of justice against corruption? Nova got turned into a literal demon, surely it's hard to get more corrupted than that. But his only complaint wasn't about what Nova/Nemesis was trying to do, it's about the process being too much of a damn ordeal.

He's super excited over the anticipation of murder and has no scruples whatsoever about killing non-combatants. The same thing happened again at Kimia.

He finally grew enough of a conscience to break off from Galvatron in the end but notice his wording. It's not 'you forced me to hurt people', it's 'you forced me to hurt Cybertron'. He even said Cybertron twice for emphasis.

It's not mind control, he just thinks like that. The guy's obsessed with Cybertron - with what Cybertron once was. The Cybertron he lived in. Nova Prime's Cybertron. The Golden Age. He's shown to repeatedly lament over it in his internal monologues.

It's all about the loss of his 'perfect world.' The infrastructure. the scenery. the Tetrahexian real estate lmao. How about let's feel some sadness for the billions of Cybertronians who once lived on it? When did he ever spare a thought for all the people who died?

The Decepticons worked so hard to destroy this. It's a gilded carcass rotting from the inside. It eats people alive. The rot was already there in his own time. He was complacent in putting it there. But he only had eyes for the beauty and nolstalgia.

In the first panel he lauded the Decepticons for wanting radical change. Well he himself seemed to be dead set against change judging by the way he kept wanting things to go back the way they were 8 million years ago.

Back in the Golden Age he would not have looked twice at a bot like Tailgate. He was part of the people who didn't give a shit about the disappearance of one waste disposal bot. He still wouldn't have given a shit if circumstances hadn't forced them together over and over again.

Looks to me he's enarmored with the grandness of the concepts of liberation and revolution and emancipation for 'the people' in the Decepticons' (theoretical) ideology. The concepts of fighting against corruption and bringing down the old order. Just like how he bought into the concepts of Nova's 'spreading freedom to the galaxy' and the glittering prosperity of the 'Golden Age.' Does he know that the Decepticon ideology is a twisted lie built on terror and massacres and genocide and despotism? Does he know that Nova's idea of spreading freedom and enlightenment is galactical conquest and his beloved Golden Age is built upon a foundation of misery and suffering and systematic subjugation? Of course he knows he's not stupid. He's nose-deep in it, it's virtually impossible not to. But he's able to willfully ignore those ugly truths as well as his role in them by only engaging in shallow romanticism through rose-coloured lens and refusing to delve deeper.

It's either that or imperalist mindset and the endorsement of violence and casual murder resonates hard.

[missingbat]

Some very strange AU with suffering, murder, depression, blood-- & A FLUFF, OF COURSE♡(>ᴗ•)♡(>ᴗ•)

And I came up with some random foolishness when I was poisoned and had a fever for three days. Please note that they may contradict each other because I am an inattentive person(ಡ‸ಡ)･ﾟ｡

Ichiji began to have the beginnings of emotions at the moment X, and since he is not a stupid boy, he realized that Judge was leading him by the nose, brainwashing and blah blah blah. Well, he didn't want to dance to someone else's tune, so he cosplays Sora — he swallowed the poison that she drank when she was pregnant, and that's the result. A crippled teenager runs from the assassins of Jerma, cursing the whole world and himself, as well as trying to find a cure so as not to end up like a mother.

In a fit of rage, he cut up his tattoo, and when he came to, he realized that he was now just a weak, pathetic person who was bleeding and who could die from such 'stuff'.

He was taken in once, and then he found out that the family that took him in had been killed by the assassins of the Judge.

Ichi, before meeting the Pirates of Spades, worked as a mercenary and informant who is constantly on the run and has no contact with anyone for a long time.

He says he doesn't have anyone and can't go back anywhere.

Because of the appearance of emotions, he is constantly under stress and endlessly replays in his head the crimes that he committed and could not influence, but still hates himself and blames himself.

Haphephobia is in a very advanced stage. Partly due to ignorance of the consequences after using poison, you never know what will happen to the surrounding people.

Out of habit, he holds back any emotions, and in principle behaves like an arrogant asshole.

The hump is literally loaded with various weapons. If you take it in your hands, you will get a loud metallic crackle of all that metal. But he walks noiselessly, lol.

Like the most normal and ordinary man, sleeps with a dagger in his arms. (Don't go near him, he'll throw a knife at you)

Severe cognitive imbalance when he looks at himself in the mirror.  Ace, like Luffy's real brother, will blurt out that Ichiji looks like Little Red Riding Hood when they first meet. Ichi will say that he must have been hit hard on the head as a child." (WTF? How did you know?!?)

"I'm not a good person, Ace. You don't know anything about me."

Periodically there are attacks of coughing with blood, but he, of course, does not say anything to anyone, does not explain, but snaps and says not to go where you are not asked to go.

One day Deuce is going to get all worked up about how it's really not right and normal for Ichi, that he should be chained up in bed, not running around with a stupid capitan and covering his ass. Ichiji will tell that Deuce is doing the same thing." And Vinsmoke is right, BUT Deuce DOESN'T DO THAT WHEN HIS ORGANS ARE MELTING(＃`Д´)-- (Ichiji persuaded Deuce to keep quiet, and Deuce decided to keep a low profile on this "I can handle it myself".)

Deuce vaguely resembles Niji(if you get stoned in the end and get your eyesight -10, but still-), so Ichiji feels some kind of softness towards him. he or she trusts him more than the others.

I'm still trying to figure out how tumblr works, even though I don't understand English at all and use a translator to understand what's going on (￣ ￣|||)

[queen-scribbles]

taris agent story mention trap card activated; I'm REAL curious to know how arkady is feeling about how everything goes on taris? a couple credits for his (preliminary at least) thoughts?

Well, first off, he's extremely wary of Lokin. He clocked how dangerous the Affable Unassuming Old Man is within second, just didn't figure out the "can transform into a rakghoul (almost) at will" part. (But really, who expects something like that?)

He hates Taris as an environment. Arkady is a city boy. He was born and raised on Ziost. Sure there was training for different terrain, but that doesn't mean he enjoys it. xD He does not like trekking through swamps and dodging cityscape debris and mud and predators and this is so much worse than the Dromund Kaas jungles.

He's... a bit of a mess mentally for a bunch of reasons, not the least of which is the brainwashing reveal. I think that hit him even harder than it did Ody and it flipped her world upside down. He tried to blame it on the Sith, but couldn't ignore the reality of even if they asked for it, Keeper(the First) complied. He hates so much that it proves Watcher X right. Oh, my gosh, he's so grumpy about that. But he's still sorting through it all--Imperial Intelligence brainwashed him, Republic SIS found out how to control him using it, he's supposed to infiltrate and destroy this cell but does he really want to do that? These seem like good people, who are doing what they have to to protect their people, and really, how different are they from him?

(and floating in the background of it all is Watcher Two's voice saying high Imperial citizen casualties from the Eradicators are acceptable if it lets them stop Jadus. Even having joined Intelligence more to get away from home than anything it bothers him that she's ready to make that sacrifice so easily. First crack in his resolve.)

Chance is easy to work with; trusts him to do the job and seems to accept he's working on it even with complications. (Arkady spends half of Taris fighting the urge to ask how long Chance as been an agent bc he's way more trusting than any other spy he's met. >.>) Ardun's reaction to/commentary on Ki Sazen is what makes Arkady suspect the man's a Jedi himself; it sounds like way too personal an issue. Does make him smirk a little the Jedi seem to have the same issues as the Sith with rogue members and the like.

All of my agents are what might seem too forgiving of Ardun and Chance using the keyword and even if he's not questioning as much as, say, Jaaide or Ody, Arkady's no exception. In fact, I think he's bothered by it almost the least(might be tied with Ody), bc with his ruthlessly pragmatic streak he would do the same as Ardun without hesitation. (He wouldn't even be sorry; this is a war and protecting your assets comes first) (Besides, there's that slave you inject with what's basically the prototype serum for the Castellan Restraints back on DK, so it'd be massively hypocritical bc he DID do the exact same thing)

Him saving Chance instead of letting him die is the second crack in his loyalty. He should be "eliminating the enemy" and this is literally the perfect cover; he wouldn't even have to do anything, his inaction would be enough. Just let Chance succumb to his wounds. But he doesn't. Bc he's not a bad person, and pragmatically speaking, helping Chance will further ingratiate him with the team.

By the time he actually confronts Ki Sazen, he's pretty thoroughly convinced she's crazy. Also acting like a petulant child who ran away from home bc she didn't get her way. He killed her, bc there's no way Arkady is going to suggest someone join the Sith, and he wouldn't think she has the temperament for spy work so SIS is out too. (Also that line about "You were a savior. Now you're a martyr" is a banger)

I don't think he'd completely sorted through all his thoughts and emotions about his, uh, circumstances by the time he left Taris. He definitely dislikes the Sith even more now(haha can't wait til he romances Lana and has to Rethink Biases), he picked up a new nexu pet who will love him no matter what his decisions, and he's further embedded himself with Kothe's team, which he tells himself is good bc it'll let him do his job better. Not bc he's actually starting to like most of them. >:3

[solradguy]

curious if you could elaborate on, like, specific cases(?) or just the general phenomena of gg community ignoring character flaws since i feel like i probably agree n wanna hear someone else's thoughts on it

Almost every single Guilty Gear character has done something that would get them ostracized in other fandoms, I think. But what I see sorta often in GG's community is that sometimes people will go to great lengths to defend one character and then talk about how bad another character is for the things they've done. Zato, for example, did horrible things to Millia and her hating him/wanting him dead is entirely justifiable. But Zato gets condemned for that while Happy Chaos, who brainwashed numerous people to fight and die for him just because he thought it was funny (among other things he did before and after that), rarely gets criticized, presumably because his personality is sillier and he's got a more broadly appealing design.

I get stuff like this happens in pretty much every fandom that's ever existed ever, but it's really funny seeing it in a game called Guilty Gear, where every character has done horrible things that haunts them haha. I went with the Zato and Chaos comparison because at least in some other characters' cases, the character does have some guilt over their actions or has a redemption arc of some kind (Bedman and Ky are good examples of that), but neither Zato or Chaos seem to have much remorse over how they've treated other people yet Zato is frequently hated while Chaos is adored.

Going back to Ky for a sec since he might seem like an odd choice to include there: Ky was a child soldier that wanted to utterly annihilate a sentient species capable of intelligent communication with evidence of a unique culture, and he killed them mercilessly when he could. But he eventually realized what he was doing was awful and went back on everything he was raised to believe to try to make up for what he did. And it haunts him. It wasn't like he woke up one day and just decided to stop killing Gears because he got bored of it; it's a major part of his character that the weight of what he had done was crushing him and he'll never fully forgive himself (or ask for total forgiveness) for it.

Bedman doesn't get as much of a chance before he dies to try to make up for what he had done, but it's still there a little bit right at the end. He's also young too and not having a fully developed prefrontal cortex is a pain in the ass. Sympathy to all the people younger than 25 out there.

Even Sol, the other main box art guy, has a whole list of awful shit he's done. He also wanted to destroy the same creatures that had individual thoughts and desires as Ky did and in Sol's case it might even be worse because he was partially responsible for their creation in the first place, and he was ruthless during his Holy Order arc when he fought against Gears the most. Ignoring Aria's wishes to be allowed to die peacefully from her illness and Sol wanting to sacrifice the entire world to save Jack-O' at the end of Strive are both selfish and awful in their own ways too. Sol is also THEE guilty Gear though. We know that's all weighing on him something fierce.

But this is what makes Guilty Gear so GOOD. It's not black and white. The good guys are deeply flawed and the bad guys can be sympathetic. This series has an insane amount of nuance that all too often gets boiled down to who's redeemable and who isn't and nearly everyone's a little bit of a bastard in their own unique ways.

I guess what I'm trying to say here is that I think if someone is a fan of a character that's taken/tried to take away the autonomy of another character, emotionally manipulated someone via dog murder, or wanted to exterminate an entire species that was mostly fighting back because of how humanity had treated them in the first place, that they should keep that in mind when harshly criticizing other characters' actions.

[melishade]

In your Optimus in episode 1 timeline, how does Optimus earn Levi's trust? He helps Levi when he loses his team and even reveals a bit about his own love life in the original. But Petra is still alive at the time, she and Levi probably aren't as close in episode 1 as they were in the original, and Annie won't be able to hurt her until years later. So unless Levi can stay paranoid for a really long time, Optimus found another way to prove himself.

Previous Episode of TFP Optimus in Episode 1

Oh, Optimus does prove himself through his actions. And yeah, Levi has been in the Survey Corps longer than Petra, so they wouldn't have had the time to develop a relationship in the span of 5 years. Now that I think about it, I think she's the youngest out of Levi's squad. I could be wrong.

But let's get on with it.

So Levi, naturally, doesn't trust Optimus the minute he sees him. In fact his first instinct is to stab him.

Levi no

Levi yes

But Optimus' bravery, aid, and popularity among the people clearly win out, and he's handed over to the Survey Corps with ease. Welcomed with open arms even...Levi doesn't like that. Everyone's swooned by this titan, and Erwin is happy because Survey Corps enrollment has gone up. But Erwin fully understands Levi's concerns and allows Levi to spy on him. He also doesn't really tell him to tone down his attitude. He gets it. It's in Levi's nature, and earning Levi's trust takes more time.

But it takes a bit, like a good few months during and after the gate's reconstruction, so Erwin decides to pair them together to do a milk run essentially and get some supplies. It's mostly quiet between them. They don't talk. Levi is still suspicious and Optimus is already used to people either not trusting him or straight up hating him. But they get stares as they pass through the market. Levi ignores them mostly, and despite Optimus' quiet and reserved nature, he's more than willing to give a simple greeting. He's polite like that.

Things are going normal, and then Eren shows up begging Optimus for help, with Mikasa trying to pull him away. Levi doesn't want anything to do with this, but Optimus decides to go to their home. Levi's thinking why and Optimus just doesn't want to say no in the event it's actually serious. If it's a domestic dispute, maybe they could hand it off to the MPs.

But since it's the Earth shattering revelation that humanity isn't extinct. They have to think fast. Levi and Optimus are on the same page when they need to take Carla, Mikasa, and Eren out of that house for their safety. And Levi sees that before the Survey Corps go to read the notebooks in private, Optimus is doing everything he can to reassure Eren and Mikasa that they'll find their dad, and Levi is quite stunned at how gentle and caring he is. He doesn't have to be, but Optimus is choosing to.

What would really turn the gears in having Levi trust Optimus is when they read the notebook, and find out about the outside world, specifically the Eldian Warrior Children. And Levi is the only one in the room noticing that Optimus is looking tense. Really tense. When the meeting is over, Levi goes to check in on Optimus, only to find out that the most stoic titan is having a fucking mental breakdown. And Optimus is just saying that he broke his moral code. Levi's a little confused at this. This guy fought in a war. Why is he so pressed about taking the life of someone who tried to kill them?

"I thought the Armored One was like the other mindless titans in the city that day." Levi could see the stress in Optimus' optics, "I thought their only desire was to consume humans. I had no idea that it was a human when I killed the Armored Titan. But based on Grisha's information, I may have just killed a human child. I swore to protect humanity, but I killed a child without even providing the opportunity to stand down. They might have been brainwashed, forced into becoming a titan shifter. They might have had a family. A mother or a father. I may have ripped a child away from someone. I...broke my vow."

Optimus is just devastated, and Levi...can't be suspicious anymore. He has no ulterior motive. The fact that Optimus is concerned about an enemy, concerned about their life and how he wanted to find a way to bring peace? That's genuine. It has to be. It's surreal to find anyone that genuine, but it is real. And Levi...provides his own reassurance. You couldn't have known? How could you? You made a split second decision with the limited information that you had. Even so, you made a choice that saved thousands of lives. That may not fix the reaction of killing the Armored Titan, but Levi admits that he's grateful...and he thanks Optimus for giving the Walls hope.

After this, Levi and Optimus finally work together without hostility and have a mutual respect for one another. So Erwin's plan technically did work out after all. It does ultimately help with the united front of overturning the monarchy and the ultimate negotiations with Marley Military and Willy Tybur. However, every single time the Marleyans bring up the whole 'Optimus killing Reiner' schtick, Levi can just tell that this is bothering Optimus and part of him wants to just threaten them but Optimus tells him not to.

And then Megatron shows up to be a fucking jackass.

Levi was one of the first to realize that something was up with Megatron, or Galvatron, because pot calling the kettle black, they are both assholes. Levi's an asshole with a soft spot; Megatron's an asshole just to be an asshole. Sure, his dynamic with Optimus leads him to believe that they might have been involved a lot more intimately, but Optimus explains that Megatron's the guy he's been fighting for four million years and well...Levi still wonders if he won that bet.

That doesn't mean Levi doesn't take it seriously. He still does, but it's not the same hostility in the main AOP timeline. Levi hasn't seen the full capabilities of Megatron yet, but he is cautious. But this doesn't make Levi distrusting of Optimus. He does go to the Prime and ask what are Megatron's weaknesses so that he can be prepared to fight him. Optimus is a little hesitant because he doesn't want Levi getting hurt, but Levi reminds him that this is his job. This is what he was trained to do, and he needs to be prepared. So Optimus gives what he's observed in Megatron's behavior and actions in the past.

But I'd imagine that his and Megatron's interactions would be more like this:

Megatron: You are aware of who I am, aren't you?

Levi, taking a sip from his tea: So what if I am? Are you going to do something about it?

Megatron: ...I am still deciding.

Levi: Then I'll make it easy: mind your business, do your job, and we'll be fine. Hurt anyone in the Survey Corps and I'm taking out your eyes.

Megatron, thinking it over: A fair trade.

They are more civil and don't act like animals that throw insults at each other on the regular.

[specterthief]

I been thinking why Joker goes out of his way to help Maruki and even save his life. Objectively Maruki is an awful person who abused his power and hurt teenagers in really terrible ways, but Joker wants to help him somehow. Even as a Maruki fan I don’t get it, which I hc him as Joker both liking Maruki and seeing himself in him. It the only thing that makes sense to me and I don’t like to headcanon my way into solving character motivations.

joker is a traumatized teenager who has both been horribly mistreated by adults and seen everyone he loves be horribly mistreated by adults. even sojiro is, while not nearly as bad as any of the villains, frankly kind of awful to joker when he first meets him. maruki is pretty unfailingly kind to him from the moment they meet, respects his intelligence and opinions and maturity and treats him like an adult friend he can equally depend on rather than a problem child (and treating joker like an adult peer is actually a huge issue with maruki—and several other adult confidants—and a generally inappropriate way for an adult authority figure to interact with teenagers, but having been a lonely sixteen year old who thought i was super mature for my age, is something that can feel really cool when you're the kid rather than the adult who now knows better.) maruki's ideals, that joker has been learning about in depth through their confidant, are also incredibly close to the phantom thieves' own, if ultimately way more extreme, but they don't seem that extreme before third semester actually happens. there's a point in maruki's confidant where joker has two dialog options that are both praising maruki's ideals and plans in different words—one of the immutable facts of joker's personality, as can be gleaned from the things he can say, is that he really does think maruki is a good person and that his ideas about how to treat trauma and psychological pain are admirable.

and no matter what choices you make, joker will always be tempted by maruki's deal at every point it's offered, even if, when taking it on 2/2, that means both going directly against akechi's wishes in the moment and breaking the phantom thieves' "unanimous decision" rule when they've all agreed to stop him. even if you don't agree, he always at least falters. he can even take the deal if you've romanced sumire and doing this would mean allowing his girlfriend to be brainwashed into believing she's a different person again, when he knows at that point that that was never good for her and she can heal on her own. joker does believe, no matter what, that maruki's intentions were good, and the comparisons between them that are drawn directly in the text are, i believe, meant to show that they really are similar people. taking yaldabaoth's deal in the vanilla ending can even put him in a very similar position to maruki with regards to absolute power over reality, and as much as that bad end kind of gets ignored, that can at least feasibly be something joker could want.

even if joker ultimately proves himself the better person (which i think also largely comes from the fact that he actually has an entire support structure and proof positive that people, including him, can move past their trauma) he's still tempted, he still has doubts—what would it say about him if he tried to treat views he believed in as irredeemably evil, you know? and the PTs don't even kill people they do see as completely evil. he's not going to just let maruki kill himself.

this is someone who he thinks of as a friend, who he feels has been nothing but kind and supportive to him for the greater part of the year. would he even admit to himself how much he was manipulated? maybe not. taking on burdens adults shouldn't be putting on his shoulders isn't something that's exclusive to maruki's confidant. how bad this is is obvious to akechi because he doesn't have any personal connection to maruki to make him want to give him the benefit of the doubt—he's very personally dealt with a would-be tyrant who thinks he was chosen by god and manipulates teenagers for his own gain before, nothing else here means anything to him. joker has a very close (mostly) positive relationship to try and compartmentalize here.

there's a point in the royal guidebook interviews where they say that the point where maruki uses akechi's life as a bargaining chip is the point where he really proves himself an enemy to the phantom thieves, but joker can still agree then and there. i think joker still caring about maruki and seeing him as someone who could start over and do better, and deserves that chance, makes perfect sense from his perspective. (i don't even disagree that he could and probably ultimately does in the true ending, as much as i also think it would be very cathartic to just drop him lmao)

[valkyrieandstrangeridingaragorn]

Yeah, the best way to make one's bias against Wanda known is to make a video that basically tries to paint Agatha as a good guy while ignoring how she didn't care at all about the people in Westview, took Wanda's kids hostage, and manipulated Wanda every chance she got.

Wow...

I've seen bad takes before but holy shit, that was so bad 😂🤦‍♀️

It doesn't surprise me that OP seems to be pro-Accords with the kind of stuff he says. This line: "Wanda walks away from her crimes instead of submitting herself to human punishment" is so disgusting I can't even. See how OP doesn't call for accountability, they want "punishment". Yikes.

OP says everything Agatha did was for the greater good, to the point of claiming that brainwashing Ralph and Herb is alright because oh she just wanted Wanda to see the truth, and he says that getting in their minds to get info out of Wanda is the same as dressing as someone else to sneak into a lair. Are you for real? Brainwashing someone and wearing a disguise are the same thing? 😂😂

Then he says Sparky wasn't real (even though Agatha herself says she killed it), and he compares her wanting Wanda's power to Stephen saving the Hong Kong Sanctum in DS1 😳😳😳

OP: "Wanda has great power but no responsibility, she cannot be trusted with these abilities, and Agatha is the only one who can stop her". Is it just me or this sounds like Ross? "The enhanced can't control the power they have, they need to give it up or have someone to control it for them". It's the same!

He says there's nothing wrong with Agatha wanting Wanda's power because, and I'm not kidding, he literally says this: Agatha wanting that power is the same as Steve in CW when he says the 'safest hands are still our own'. No, really, he compared those two 😂

But then comes this gem: "Agatha is just like Stark" when he used the sceptre for Ultron. This guy has seen AoU I assume, he knows how that one went, right? He knows what Stark did was wrong? Like, it was pretty obvious it was, he even said so himself? 😂

And this one: "Agatha is trying to protect reality from people like Wanda. She's just an old witch looking out for her reality just like Doctor Strange"

You heard it here first, folks. Brainwashing innocents, kidnapping children, and killing your coven is exactly the same as everything Stephen has been doing since DS1.

I think I lost all my brain cells reading that transcript. Lucky me I didn't have to watch the video... 🤦‍♀️

[agentvalentine]

About Jill's Brainwashing and Trauma.

This is a very, very long post. It's longer than I intended for it to be. But anyway, some of you know I studied psychology and it tends to be one of my main interests in media I consume. I like to analyze characters and dive into their headspace and make sense of what they've been through and how it affects their behavior and relationships, etc. Jill is one of those characters who have gone through so much from a young age, and, naturally, I like to analyze her and think about how everything she experienced has shaped her up into who she is now. I'll be referencing stuff from RE.5, RE.3R and DI. I have to preface this by saying I love RE.5. I think it's a good game and super fun to play. But I do have some criticism for it, specficially in terms of how it treats Jill.

Content warning for: attempted suicide.

I've talked about this before in an ask, but also just to double down on it. We see in RE3.R, during that first nightmate sequence, that Jill would rather shoot herself than turn into an infected. We also see in another dream sequence in that game that she'd rather let an infected Carlos kill her than shoot him.

Having seen DI and the extra content, the writers also talk about this when they compare Jill to Dylan, where the difference between them is that Jill would never pull the trigger on her friends/people she considers close. This is why she doesn't pull the trigger on Claire who is on the verge of turning. Jill also sympathizes with Dylan to a certain degree because she recognizes their similarities, and that's why she doesn't shoot him, either, even though she had every opportunity to.

I think Jill's "Go f yourself" to Dylan is less about her telling him to F himself, and more about her feeling frustrated and conflicted. Because on one hand, she gets where he's coming from, on the other, they both made different choices.

In addition, what happened in RE5 was totally out of Jill's control. She didn't choose to attack Chris or Sheva or anyone. It was all happening against her will, and we even see her resisting that for a moment. Whereas Dylan willingly pulled the trigger on his friend, so even though the weapon turned out to be empty, he still made that choice of his own free will, and had to live with it.

Knowing all this, I don't think it's farfetched to assume that Jill was wishing death upon herself all the while she was attacking Chris and Sheva or hurting whoever it is Wesker ordered her to hurt that day. Because, as we've established before, she'd rather die than become a monster who poses a danger to her friends, and she'd rather die than have to fight/kill her friends and those she cares about.

My headcanon (while taking the rewrite of Jill's character into consideration) has always been that, throughout the experiments, and knowing that she did manage to gain some level of consciousness admist them (which led to the gradual increase of the dosage), Jill would have likely tried to end her life on multiple occasions just to stop herself from: a. doing things against her will and b. hurting people she didn't want to hurt and c. becoming the puppet of the man who is the cause of all her suffering since 1998 and d. becoming and aiding the one thing she's been trying to fight against (bioterrorists).

But even ignoring the remake and putting its acknowledgement of Jill's PTSD aside, what Jill experiences in those 3 years is still, pretty simply, messed up. I dare say beyond messed up, even. And this is where my frustration comes from. Because this is such a big deal that was downplayed so hard in RE.5. It's really funny to me that Cap.com thought the best way to handle someone who's been through all this is to essentially have her wake up from being brainwashed for three whole years, and be immediately hit on by a random man she just met. Not only that, my woman somehow finds it in her to flirt back. And then later on it's not just Josh hitting on her, but also Doug on the comms, and Jill's just there like "yeah, tell me more."

I like Josh and his dynamic with Jill, and I also liked their chemistry. So my problem isn't at all with the flirting itself, per se (although I stand by the fact Josh shouldn't have flirted with her IMMEDIATELY after waking up, nor should she have flirted back). The flirting could have actually worked perfectly if it had been used in a smart way, as means for Jill to cope with her trauma. If it had been Jill's way of distracting herself and keeping herself grounded in the present.

The problem is that, this is not at all how the flirting was used. Because throughout the entirety of RE5 and Desperate Escape, Jill's trauma is never ONCE acknowledged. We never see her dissociate, pause, freeze or "lose" herself momentarily as she processes everything that happened to her. We never see her struggling or fighting with her body that is still not 100% responding to her because the virus is still in her system and hasn't left it completely.

We never see any signs or hints about how awful and draining the whole brainwashing experience was for Jill. She just passes out after Chris and Sheva save her, wakes up, and suddenly she's fine. Everything's functioning as normal. She's being hit on and hitting back on people. Because Cap.com chose to reduce her character to badass blonde in sexy catsuit. Jill had to endure so much, and yet her own struggles are barely acknowledged, and simply used as a tool to amplify Chris's "oh no i lost my partner and now she's working for my archnemesis i'm so sad and angry." That's all she was in that game, fuel to Chris's trauma. Never mind what she had to go through in those three years.

The laziest thing they could have done is include flashbacks from the game itself (if they were too lazy to animate new cutscenes), from her fight with Chris and Sheva + the flashbacks from the Spencer Estate, but shown from HER POV, just so we know "hey, btw, Jill is absolutely not over the fact she nearly died, was brainwashed AND almost killed her best friend."

More effectively, they should have shown us things from when Jill was working under Wesker's control, the horrible things he made her do, the awful experiments she had to endure, instances of her regaining control and trying to fight for her freedom. Hell, they could have made those events part of the RE5 narrative, a "what Jill has been up to while Chris was doing this" sort of thing. In the vein of Separate Ways in RE.4. Instead of starting Desperate Escape during the point at which Jill is "free," we could have started it earlier. We could have also used Jill's familiarity with the setting, as she guides Josh around during their escape, to include instances of her telling Josh "this is where X happened and this is where Wesker did Y and this is where I did Z" etc.

Jill was so objectified beyond belief in RE.5 both by the narrative and by the writers/developers. The funny thing is there were easy and quick solutions to give her character more depth throughout so she's not as flat as a blank sheet of paper (character-wise, because they made damn sure she wasn't flat physique-wise).

They could have delayed the flirting with Josh till after they've established her messed up mental state and used it as a coping mechanism. They could have shown us flashbacks from her POV to get a better, closer look into what she had to endure. They could have interrupted Jill's badassery and used breathing moments to showcase instances of weakness where she dissociates or temporarily loses control again and attacks Josh, just so we know this woman is still struggling, but she's doing her best to fight and get out of here regardless.

I don't think allowing Jill to be weak for a few minutes would have taken away from her badass status. On the contrary, I think it would have made her even stronger because, despite all her internal struggles, she's still fighting. But the complete erasure of her internal struggles and trauma in favor of her looking badass is just quite honestly icky and unrealistic. Not only that, any reference to what Jill went through is only within context of "this is really sad for Chris. Look at what Chris had to endure. Poor man."

And the thing is, I'm not even asking they take that out, because yeah, what Chris went through? It's pretty horrible and messed up and very valid, too. But I do take issue with the fact only HIS struggles are recognized but not Jill's.

RE.5 gives a very unrealistic, crappy and objectifying portrayal of Jill, and I wholeheartedly believe this is one of the main reasons why, now that cap.com is actually trying to acknowledge Jill's trauma from the very start (since the Spencer Mansion incident), and give a more accurate perspective on her mental and emotional state, people are struggling to accept this "new" Jill. Even though, at her core, she is very much the same Jill, just reacting to certain things the way a human would react after enduring so much.

The many times she shows kindness and care for characters (dead and alive) in RE3R are countless. Her resolve to fight for the innocent and save people is ever stronger. So strong she's willing to team up with people who work for the corporation that caused the deaths of her comrades and traumatized her for life, in order to save and help those in need.

It's always funny to me people call Jill a b because of the way she acts with Carlos at the start of the game. Are you telling me that after surviving a horror mansion filled with zombies and all sorts of monsters, watching your comrades die and failing to save most of them, barely making it out yourself, being betrayed by your captain whom you trusted, returning with the hope to stop the tragedy only to find out your chief has been bribed by the corporation behind it all, getting suspended by said chief, watching the city fall apart as the evil corporation takes control of it, having to literally take medication made by said corporation to help yourself sleep at night so you can function as a human being for a while, knowing this company is constantly endangering the lives of the innocent, that after going through ALL OF THIS, you run into a dude who works for the nightmare company, and you just go "Oh cool, nice to meet you"????

I think Jill has earned every right to be angry and throw a few f-bombs at people, but that's just me.

And I also have a whole lot to say about Jill and Chris post-RE.5 all the way to DI, but this post is already so long, so I'm gonna cut it here and maybe talk about that another day.

Edit to add: it's also even more frustrating that Jill didn't even get to execute revenge on the man who enslaved her for years and instead had to watch Chris and Sheva kill him with a very minor contribution on her end. This adds to just how downplayed Jill's struggles are in the game. Because throughout it all, Wesker is more or less Chris's archnemesis even though he messed up Jill's life just as bad, if not more.

[a-non-ymouswriter]

Some questions to hopefully help with getting your wheels turning again-- these are for as many or as few fics as you want to answer! "X" is used to represent that just for coherence's sake. And feel free to give multiple examples or no examples on a case by case basis. Or ask for me to resend this split up so you can do it in parts instead of all at once. Or even ignore this entirely!

I know that, for me, one of the best ways to get my ornery muse to cooperate is to talk with others about whatever I'm trying to write about. And since you've expressed frustration over struggling to write, I want to help at least a little. I know you've also expressed that you've got some irl stuff going on, so I don't want you to feel like it's an "oh god someone is expecting me to write but I can't write and ahhh" thing. If you don't feel up to answering, or it doesn't work for you, that's fine! The goal is to be helpful, not make you feel guilty for struggling. Because, uh, I'm definitely in that particular boat, too. (/cough cough rewrites cough cough)

So! That said!!

-What are your favorite scene/s from X? What about the scenes you were most excited to see the reactions to?

-Who would you say is your favorite character out of everyone you write? Or top 5ish, if you can’t just pick one.

-If you stuck your variants of character X in a room together, what would happen? Like, all the Tommys, all the Dreams, all the Ranboos, etc.

-Who do you think needs a therapy pet? Is it Theo with a dog or calf (or a polar bear) that goes "you are anxious. That means it's 🌟floor time🌟"? And Theo is then bullied into laying down, his therapy pet flops on top of him, and he just has to chill there for like 20 minutes until said pet deems him sufficiently calm again?

-What does your process for writing look like? How much Inane Background Detail™️ do you wind up just not using? Or what about stuff you DID use but people didn't really notice? (Worldbuilding my beloved)

-Do you make art/moodboards/collages/playlists for any of your works? Have you gotten some from others? If so, did they wind up subtly nudging the story/characters in a different way?

aw thank you cocomere :) this may or may not help but it's the thought that definitely counts!

my favorite scenes huh? one of my top ones is definitely from rewind, i was so excited and also very nervous for people to read the climax between tobi and theo. because it was all just emotions and yelling and some violence, but it was great to see the readers who came from the beginning finally see those two idiots get on the same level.

favorite character out of everyone i write? tommy, theo definitely with much bias, but yeah tommy is one of my top 5s to write in my stories. the next would of course, be tubbo, tobi, and finally technoblade even though sometimes writing for him is somewhat difficult lol

oh god, sticking all the variants into one room would be chaos. the tommy room is full of trauma- have you seen the stuff i put the guy in?? theo was abused, brainwashed and branded, tommy from wishes was tricked into selling his soul and throws himself into danger like its going out of style, and tommy from stream labs- well i haven't written out his full backstory but the bits you all got so far is horrifying; disarmed, disabled and temporarily dead.

and that's just tommy! the other characters- y i k e s

i've talked enough of theo, so i'll be going with tobi, he definitely needs a therapy pet as well. mayhaps a bee, mayhaps a dog, or maybe yes. a polar bear. god now i'm just imagining a therapy polar bear sitting on BOTH tobi and theo. that's great XD

my writing process huh? ehhh, i just store bits of the chapter in my head, get them all down on the screen and write out the connecting bits. it's frustrating because sometimes (most of the times now) those connecting bits don't fit or can't be written, or also the bits i had in my head are suddenly not that good in my mind.

i love worldbuilding, it's fantastic, but i have the bad habit of not writing down the worldbuilding beforehand and i don't think i'll be breaking that habit any time soon. it's mostly just in my head for now, but i thankfully, usually, remember the worldbuilding when i need to and if i don't i reread my stories to try and remember.

i don't remember the details of what worldbuilding it was that i was disappointed that no one noticed- or if that happened at all. it has been a while. all in all, most of my worldbuilding seemed to be noticed by some people and i'm thankful for that :D

the only thing i used to make for my stories myself was art. sometimes i did draw art for my stories- you all remember the now dust-gathering blog that is stream labs live. but my motivation for drawing has bitterly died, it might revive at some point but for now it's dead and down. i haven't done the rest, moodboards, playlists, collages- i think other people did make those for my stories.

and maybe they did subtly change a few things, like i said it has been a while so the details are fuzzy.

thanks again cocomere for giving me the ask!

[lollytea]

Yeah exactly!!

My interpretation of Seperate Tides has always been Hunter's attempt to weasel out of the job of killing. Like he knows it has to be done but he isn't at that point of his character development to rebel outright. Belos ordered the creature to be slain and Hunter has to make it a reality one way or another. So, he tried transferring the job to someone else because he was dreading doing it himself.

He is very good at bluffing. He does it frequently. And I think his gentle nature is the reason he's gotten so good at it. It's a very sneaky tactic that makes him seem violent and intimidating, without forcing him to hurt anyone. And it gets results! So, he keeps at it. No wonder he's mastered it by this point.

Hunter had no intention of killing King. But no matter how fucked up his idea of it is, he does understand love. Because he's so loving himself. He's pooling with the stuff. He knows that people will go to great lengths for those they love, because it's what motivates him. So, he was certain Luz and Eda were gonna do the job when King's life was threatened.

He does something similar with Amity at the climax of Eclipse Lake. He didn't plan to hunt down Luz. But he knew the threat would work.

He makes threats constantly but it's rare that he executes them.

Like it's even used comedically. In Hunting Palismen, Luz is cockily shrugging off Hunter's attempts to intimidate her. Which just results in him declaring he'll zap her to dust and throw her into the sea. But as you get to know Hunter better as episodes go on, you can look back on this moment and know with full certainty that he had no intention of killing her. His threat came from such a juvenile place too. He just wanted to win the interaction and make her annoying ass shut up. Because, at his core, he's just a kid like her.

It's further implied later in the episode when Hunter sincerely advises Luz to stop dabbling with wild magic for her own safety. And it's like huh? Why does her safety matter, Hunter? Are you not blasting her to smithereens once this is over? Like. He wasn't gonna do it. He's very sweet. Every life, even that of a "criminal" like Luz, is important in his eyes.

And YEAH, Flapjack too. What always stuck with me is that Hunter had no reason to treat Flapjack so gently at the end of HP. Like he wasn't particularly attached to the bird at that point. This is just who Hunter is. Or, at least, who Hunter would like to be. (Even if he's not entirely aware of it.)

And it carries to Eclipse Lake. Hunter still doesn't like Flapjack. He actually finds him really annoying. He won't leave Hunter alone but that doesn't matter. Hunter would rather endure this ceaseless pestering than hand this bird over to Belos. There's probably a few reasons for this. Likely because Flapjack seems to trust Hunter wholeheartedly and he cannot bring himself to take advantage of that trust.

It also probably has something to do with Luz's final words to him. I feel like Hunter has probably repressed a lot of things when it comes to turning over palismen to Belos. Like I'm sure he's always known that it's not right. Hunter is not only kind but he's a very intelligent person, which comes into direct conflict with his brainwashing. Like it's obvious some things Belos does are not the actions of a good person. And Hunter is smart enough see that, but he's unable to confront the reality of the situation because it's just too unbearable which results in a lot of mental gymnastics in order to justify it.

But unwillingly becoming fond of Luz was the first crack in Hunter's armor. She very bluntly throws the reality of Belos devouring innocent palismen back in Hunter's face. Something nobody has ever acknowledged as wrong before. And Hunter already knew that, but coming from a person he actually respects and somewhat cares about, it makes a dent in his deliberate wall of ignorance. She then laments that she really believed that Hunter was good, that he could have been her friend, before bitterly declaring that he isn't. He's just the Golden Guard.

And this is absolutely the reason Hunter doesn't turn Flapjack over to Belos. This is what wakes him up. It's what makes him decide "Yeah, I'm not doing this anymore." He still can't admit that there was a moral reason behind it or that this is an act of rebellion against Belos and starts again with the mental gymnastics. (Claiming he's keeping Flapjack for "Observation and Experiments." Even though he's insisting on this excuse to nobody but himself.)

Hunter is a heavily brainwashed child soldier but he's so SO naturally kind and gentle that there's still love and mercy pouring out of him constantly, even when it's best interest to be devoid of it.

He's just. A very sad story.

You ever notice how Hunter, despite a lifetime of combat training, is actually pretty averse to violence? Like he'll fight. He absolutely will if it's necessary and also he's good at it. But it's never been his favored solution to a problem. It's always been something he had to do. Characters like Willow, Amity and even Luz, who are literally just highschool students, are shown to be way more comfortable initiating violence than Hunter is. And I love the eventual detail of them handling most of the offensive fighting, leaving Hunter with the defensive role. They deal the blows and he protects them, which he obviously prefers. Its nice.

[immaturityofthomasastruc]

Unpopular opinion: The narrative favors MARINETTE over everyone else, so get over yourselves if you think Adrien is being coddled or everyone else is not punished enough.

If it seems like she's being blamed for shit she didn't do, that's the narrative forcing the plot to center around her instead of someone else. If she does something that actually warrants punishment like stalking Adrien or leading Luka on, it gets brushed to the side. If she goes out of her way to snoop somewhere she doesn't belong like say, the Agreste Mansion, that's the narrative shoehorning her in instead of giving screentime to characters who needed it more like everyone who was already at the exclusive party (not just Adrien, but Kagami and Chloe too. Them along with Felix were in the same room and it's a waste the narrative didn't do shit with it). Marinette always "learns" the lesson of the day because she's the PROTAGONIST. If someone else were to learn their lesson, that's taking away from Marinette and the show doesn't allow that. If people like Chat Noir or Alya or Fu seem incompetent, it's because they needed to nerf everyone else to make Marinette shine because this is supposed to be her show and Marinette needs to be the most powerful piece in the board. If it seems like Adrien is doing nothing, it's because the show doesn't know what to do with him outside of being Marinette's trophy. He has to be "perfect" if he's gonna be a good prize, so the narrative pretends he is and ignores his less than pleasant sides. His actions ultimately don't matter. He can save the world from a giant pastry and it's just gonna be a footnote in the episode. He can "get away" with shit cause the spotlight refuses to hang around him long enough for it to bite him in the ass. He has no real power within the narrative. Everyone else has even less than him. They matter less than him. It's why the narrative doesnt say shit about your saint Luka for lying to Marinette's face about him knowing her secret identity.

It's always Marinette who has development and agency and power and can make a difference. She's not the martyr you like to paint her as. She has everything, the good, the bad and the ugly.

(The post this anon is referring to)

Okay, I will once again admit that I really phrased my response to that ask in a terrible way, and once again, I apologize for that bad take saying he was worse than Chloe and Lila combined, but I still stand by my claim that the show doesn’t call Adrien out for the things that he does compared to Marinette getting punished or blamed for every little thing she does.

Are you really going to ignore every single terrible thing Adrien has done while acting like Marinette is the real bad guy here? If not, here’s a recap of the things Adrien did in Season 4 alone...

He actively slacked off on his duties and got excited at the idea of someone almost getting akumatized, in addition to disregarding the responsibilities Ladybug now has as Guardian (Lies)

He repeatedly disobeyed orders for petty and selfish reasons (Lies, Sentibubbler, Wishmaker, Strikeback)

He refused to understand the boundaries Ladybug placed regarding their relationship (Glaciator 2)

He almost harmed innocent people, intentionally and unintentionally (Hack-San, Rocketear)

He got himself captured or brainwashed by an Akuma (Mr. Pigeon 72, Mega Lech, Guiltrip, Ephemeral, Penalteam)

He literally gave up being a superhero and left Ladybug to deal with the fallout (Kuro Neko)

He talked shit about her behind her back because he was left out of certain discussions and plans like the identities of the temp heroes, but as soon as she had no other allies, he acted like he always cared about Ladybug’s best interests. Oh yeah, and before that, he even whined about Ladybug not always trusting him WHILE SHE WAS HAVING A FUCKING PANIC ATTACK, FULLY AWARE SHE DIDN’T KNOW HE WAS CAT NOIR. (Strikeback)

And here’s all the stuff Marinette has had to go through in Season 4...

She wasn’t able to enjoy her relationship with Luka thanks to the growing amount of responsibilities in her superhero life (Truth)

She was yelled at by another Guardian who did nothing to actually help her (Furious Fu, Ephemeral)

She was shamed by Mylene for not doing enough to help the environment because I guess saving lives as Ladybug didn’t count (Mega Leech)

She had to deal with nightmares about losing to Shadowmoth (Sentibubbler)

She blamed herself for her mother getting arrested by a bunch of aggressive cops (Qilin)

She was influenced by her Kwami’s severe case of the munchies that she couldn’t control at all (Dearest Family)

She worked herself ragged trying to find a replacement for Cat Noir after being left high and dry by him (Kuro Neko)

And after learning her best friend went behind her back to not lose her boyfriend (Rocketear) she lost all of the Miraculous, and by extension, all of her other allies after being stabbed in the back by someone she thought she could trust while simultaneously being shamed for not trusting people, and need I mention the panic attack again? (Strikeback)

That’s not even getting into the routine stress of always needing to save the day while Cat Noir either slacks off in battle or sacrifices himself on a whim because he thinks her angry face is cute (Lies), or the fact that once she retires as Guardian, she’ll lose all of her memories relating to the Miraculous and her life as Ladybug (Miracle Queen).

After all that, you think Adrien has it harder? Adrien, the person who routinely screws around while lives are at risk, never takes responsibility for his actions, and will threaten to quit if he doesn’t get exactly what he wants, if he isn’t throwing hissy fits first? You think he has it harder than Marinette?

I get I said something stupid about how bad I think Adrien is, but you can’t act like he’s entirely blameless in this situation.

[darkshrimpemotions]

A lot of Destiel blogs I look at hate Dabb, I don't really understand why apparently he made Dean too angry?

Ohhhh nonny, it's absolutely not that he made Dean "too angry." It's that during his era the writers routinely shredded Dean's previously established character and ignored or backtracked his prior development in order to create additional tension and conflict where there didn't really need to be additional tension and conflict. I've also seen many people say, and I agree, that Dabb's era kind of flattens Cas out and doesn't allow him to experience emotions other than "sad martyr" nearly often enough.

Dean being angry is in character. Dean reacting to stress and trauma with anger is in character. Dean masking pain with anger is in character. And to be fair, Dabb era does a pretty good job of calling out Dean's anger as a secondary emotion and/or trauma response. Though they don't ever really deal with it, which is another problem for another day.

What's not in character is that Dean would ever treat any child the way he treats Jack in seasons 13-15. What's not in character is that Dean would ever call someone his child, his family, and then turn around and claim they aren't later.

What's definitely not in character is that Dean would ever give up on any member of his family as a lost cause, no matter what they did or how dangerous they were in the moment, or in general. We've seen this to be true with both Sam and Cas, multiple times. We've seen this with John (while possessed) and Mary (while brainwashed). Hell, we've even seen this with characters Dean only interacts with on screen a handful of times, like Claire and Garth.

An in-character Dean would have fought for another way until they found one or it killed him. An in-character Dean would sooner let Jack kill him than put a gun to Jack's head. Hell, an in-character Dean should've been the one to put a bullet in Chuck, and it should've happened the very first second after Chuck suggested shooting Jack.

It's always been a cornerstone of Dean's character that he does not give up on family. He doesn't put anything before his family, whether that's found family or blood family. Not the mission, not the greater good, not the will of his father or God himself. And yet we're supposed to believe that he's willing to do the "hard, ugly thing" with Jack? No, I'm not buying it.

And as for Cas...Cas should have been furious at Dean for locking Jack in the mal'ak box, a fate so awful Dean himself had nightmares about it before it even happened to him. Cas should have been ready to tear Dean limb from limb for even considering putting a gun to their son's head.

That's his baby. That's his son. And I'm sorry, I know first-hand that there are parents who make excuses for shitty significant others and let their kids suffer the consequences, but I don't buy Cas as one of those people. Do you?

No, we should have gotten Alleyway Ass-kicking 2.0 for that shit, but instead? Cas acts like Dean has any right whatsoever to be angry at him, leaves without even giving Dean a well-deserved piece of his mind, and then comes back and accepts Dean's forgiveness like Dean isn't the one who needed forgiving in that scenario.

And really, it all just boils down to Dabb walking this weird line in seasons 14-15 where he was trying to raise the family drama stakes by giving them a kid that they love who might or might not be evil, but also pulling back hard to just-the-brothers state by having no one in this so-called family actually act like a family should. Because seriously, what parent who loves their child wouldn't go absolutely fucking feral at the suggestion of someone harming them in retaliation for an accident? Much less their other parent who's supposed to love them?

Like...I'd say Dabb and whoever else wrote on seasons 14-15 just doesn't understand parenthood, but I'm not even a fucking parent. I have not a single maternal or paternal bone in my entire body, and even I get it better that these chuckleheads, so it can't be that.

And it's just really frustrating because what does it say about Sam and Dean as people if they can sincerely call someone their child and then even consider killing him? If Dean can actively plan to do it and Sam doesn't do anything but look sad and say but no Dean I don't like this? If Cas can even look at the man who put a gun to his baby's head afterward, much less embrace him, much less die for him, leaving said child in the care of the guy who wanted to kill him and the guy who wasn't trying very hard to stop it? What kind of people are they, if they can do those things? To their own child?

It's character assassination for Dean, Sam, and Cas, and completely treating anyone who's not blood kin to the brothers like they're disposable. So that's probably why most Destiel fans, who tend to care a lot about the whole "family don't end with blood" message in the show, don't like Dabb or his era very much.

[emblemxeno]

People really need to stop talking they way they do about Cyril. I just encountered someone who claimed that Rhea forces him to do all the work he does, which she doesn't because he likes to do everything, that she prevents him from learning to read, which she also doesn't because he hides that he can't read, and that he doesn't have a place to sleep, that his bed isn't shown doesn't mean he doesn't have one, otherwise Alois for example also doesn't have a bed. But whatever makes Rhea look bad.

A lot of people only care about Cyril when they can use him to hate Rhea.

Never mind that she literally rescued him from slavery, that Hilda’s family kidnapped him and made him into a slave, that he had to grow up fast because Almyra failed him, that he works hard because that’s the only thing he thinks he’s good at.

People deliberately ignore everything that Cyril said just to say that Rhea brainwashed him. It’s borderline infantilization; they think Cyril is a younger teen then he can’t possibly have the mental capacity to have opinions about shit that’s happened in his life, or that he couldn’t be smart enough to know when things or wrong, or can’t ever make decisions for himself. It’s performative wokeness for a game that barely tried to incorporate a prejudice subplot, coming from people who ignore information to suit themselves.

Ironically the people who do this are usually the Angry Claude stans, despite the fact that Cyril literally told Claude that the Almyran royal family did jack shit for the general populace and that he lost his parents and became an orphan on the streets because no one cared enough to help him.

Cyril unknowingly told Claude that the latter has rich privilege, which yeah, he does. Claude may have had to deal with bigotry from both Almyra and Fodlan and deal with attacks and assassinations, but he was ultimately ignorant to the general population/common class of his home. Hell, he literally says “Being a noble has nothing to do with how hard your life is” to Kostas in chapter 2, Claude seriously had some growing up to do. Which I feel like he does just that in Part 2, which is why I like him a lot.

Anyway yeah.

[paipayaseeds]

Haiyato had let out a small laugh, a little out of it--different from his normal, carefree one because they were exposed to the eyes of many--being careful of his image. he had always been blind to his actions, unconsciously doing as what he was supposed to, especially when others were watching him. it had been habit at this point.

he blinked at Iris’ actions, stopping the rolling cart with his foot as he held Akane almost defensively, as if Iris had tried to openly attack them. he wasn’t aware of it though, maybe he was just jumpy.

though, from the people around him--whom he didn’t exactly want to see--he could see that...around them, if he did decide to put the girl in the cart, he wouldn’t be the odd one out.

his actions contradicted his thinking--he wasn’t going to cook or eat her, he wasn’t going to hurt her, he wasn’t going to put her into shock or anything of the sort. he just wanted to...calm her down. make sure that she had a reason to obey him and not try to kill him.

though, he supposed he could use Iris as a way of threatening her, but he doubted that would work much, as the girl... she was now a despair--someone who wants despair and is for despair--and wouldn't mind being beaten into submission if she wanted.

well, he wasn't unwilling to mention Iris, of course, but to keep the act up that he really had been brainwashed by Junko, he needed some grand plan that would scare her into the despair she craved so much.

"i'm just… going to cook for her," he spoke, rolling the cart that had the unconscious despair inside of it, "Akane had always loved food, but if she doesn't calm down after then…. i'll have to improvise, i guess."

his grip tightened on the handle of the cart, sighing as he calmly rolled along the streets--as calmly as he could.

"but i'm... not sure if i'll have everything i need, nor do i know if any of the ingredients are good, so… i'd also like your help, if you'd be willing," his gaze was anywhere but Iris, both embarrassed and scared of his effort, "it's fine if not! i can make do with the skills i have.." it felt like he left off on an odd note, though it could have just been his overthinking.

as soon as the three had approached a building, it had been the center of Haiyato's attention. it wasn't extravagant or fancy, or tidied up to cater to his "likings", but it was… normal--still affected by the whole world ending--but, normal.

he could feel himself get a little giddy as he quickly rolled the cart inside, avoiding the body near the doors out of respect and trying to hide a small smile forming on his face. he'd never been in an apartment building before--it was always over-the-top hotels or too-clean houses with people that were always licking the bottom of his mother's shoes.

he inhaled slowly, the noise that had reminded him of everything--screaming, yelling, crying, guns--grounding him again. his tense shoulders from excitement had relaxed, knuckles turning white from how he handled the cart.

he bit his lip, trying to ignore the sounds and remain excited to see "normal" things, "let's go on the elevator!" he suggested, not waiting for an answer as he rushed towards a sign that led towards the machines, "wait, what floor do we take?" his voice seemed artificial as the doors opened with loud creaks, and he stepped inside the small space with a gulp.

the apartment was nice. if it were a sunny day with blue skies, the windows that followed the elevator up would have been nice to look at, and calming the tensed Haiyato.

his back faced the window, hands going to cover his ears.

now that he had nothing to distract himself with, all he could do was stand still and listen. but he really didn't want to do that.

{{ tag anon }}

Izuru watched as Haiyato practically skipped into the apartment building, the excitement he had been emitting, clear as day. With a focused demeanour, his red eyes scanned the machine from the outside; judging from the broken down frame and the dented elevator doors, it had been severely affected by the chaos.

Even so, the idiot Haiyato seemed to disregard that fact and went inside anyway. The braided man had to follow, knowing if he didn't, Haiyato would somehow get himself into another harmful situation.

Silently stepping inside behind the way-too-excited man, he pressed the button of the floor he had somehow remembered from seeing the outside of the building that hadn't been too affected.

Glancing over to the boy who had his hands over his ears, Izuru's mind immediately went back to the time Haiyato had done his hair for him.

Izuru bit his tongue, eyebrows creasing as he heard his own strange and peculiar thought ring throughout his head, 'Doesn't playing with hair make him less stressed- God damn it, why do I remember that.' Since when had he started caring about whether he was stressed?

Then again, theoretically speaking, it'd be better for both of them if Haiyato's stress levels lowered.

Clearing his throat and mind of the thought, he muttered bluntly underneath his breath as if his time had been oh-so-precious to him. “This elevator is inefficient.” Then again, he had been very emotionally distant.

You know what? No. This wasn't weird unless he made it weird. Whatever Izuru had been planning to say next, had been completely out of the fact; it would only inconvenience the two if Haiyato threw a tantrum— Okay maybe that was a little harsh- No, it wasn't.

Izuru had temporarily left his body for a moment, as he had been focusing on the battling thoughts in his head. God, why did this always happen?

Coughing as if he had a gumball stuck in his throat, he suddenly broke the silence with his blunt tone, which unusually raised and lowered awkwardly. "... You said something about how hair always calmed your nerves before a shoot," He stated, seemingly having more to say but pausing for literally no reason.

Looking straight ahead, he refused to make eye contact as he glued his eyes to the elevator doors in front of him. Acknowledging the boy's stress, he continued, "I don't care if you touch my hair or not,"

His tone had been flat as usual, as if he didn't care whether the boy touched his hair or not; which had obviously been a lie. "..." Izuru definitely had more to say, but for whatever reason, he had stopped there, letting the Haiyato choose what he wanted to do with that remark.

[xxconclusione-aperioxx]

Okay so I'd like to share what I commented on this video. I watched it and it sent me into a whole rant about the motives and characterization of Draco. I recommend watching before reading this:

@quinncurio is the original poster

Here's the copy paste of my comment/ Essay. I was slight heated when I wrote this, but my points still stand.

"OH BOY. HI, HELLO I VERY MUCH DISAGREE. ALSO: DISCLAIMER: DONT TAKE THINGS PERSONALLY, YOU WILL FIND I HAVE A VERY LOGICAL EXPLANATION, FOR WHY THIS ANALYSIS DOESN'T WORK.

Calling a Draco a cowardly bigoted bully, and a carbon copy of Dudley is the most SHALLOW and LOW EFFORT CONCLUSION YOU COULD POSSIBLY DRAW. IT IS LOW HANGING FRUIT. I'm going to have to break this into sections to truly explain why your conclusion is soooo incredibly shallow. You may have done your research, but I feel like you learned nothing more about Draco then if you'd never seen more then 5 min. So I'm going to start the same way you have and break this down into the same points.

PART 1 : AN ANALYSIS OF HARRY MEETING DRACO

I'm not going to go into detail of Harry's impression or ideas of Draco, because this analysis is about Draco, Not Harry. Also remember the books were written from Harry's POV, not a neutral party. I'm not obliged to Harry's opinions, just facts. Which brings up the first true conclusion about Draco's character. *Draco Malfoy feels a strong need to impress others, to gain their affection.* He does this through incisive bragging, trying to make people believe he knows best, and tearing down the reputation of others, so the object of his desires sees Draco and the most obvious choice. Where we differ is:

You believe Draco does this, because he thinks, he's better then others.

I believe,(which circumstantially has more evidence), Draco does this because he wants the affection, and acceptance of others

Whether you believe he acts out this way bc of how he is raised, his privilege, or something else, it doesn't change the fact that Draco was truly trying to make a friend, perhaps the only way he knew how.

In noble wizarding society, traditions, and your family does mean a lot. Not even looking at it from a pureblood view, imagine having a family that old and known. They really are a type of nobility, with family Lords even having political seats in the Wizengamote just because of their family name. The Longbottoms and Weaselys hold this same political influence, and it's not tied to Slytherins, pureblood ideals or anything like that. Draco is an only child, and an heir to his family line, so he is going to be treated importantly bc of that. He is raised with that responsibility, and in social situations not only represents himself, but the whole heritage of his family. Draco hasn't had the ability to act like a normal petulant child (part of the reason he tends to act out at Hogwarts.*ie. away from home*). He's been taught to act proper, make good allies, and impress others for the good of his reputation. I'd say most noble wizarding children probably get the same training and lectures, and have their own customs and culture of educate. What may come for Draco as polite, and diplomatic, may sound rude or arrogant to Harry. This is because Draco was not aware how different Harry's upbringing was from his own, and has never dealt with not having enough. Perhaps if Draco knew how different and ignorant Harry was he would have felt pity, or a sense of wrongness at Harry's injustice. Though Draco is just an 11yr old boy, who's only ever had a loving family, and almost anything he wanted. It is difficult for him to relate to the lack of others. As all wizarding children, he probably grew up with the story of the boy who lived and may have even been excited when his father said he wanted them to become friends. He truely was excited to meet Harry and genuinely wanted to be friends. While yes Lucius definitely wanted Draco to befriend Harry to help lighten their family reputation, I also think that Draco, being a child, would more likely be more excited of making a famous friend. Maybe he even had some hope seeing he'd met Harry before when he saw him on the train.

Part 2 : THE DIFFERENCES BETWEEN DRACO AND DUDLEY

Draco's sense of superiority comes from his traditions and pride in his family, while Dudley's is strictly from his own greed and selfishness. Draco would't do half of the things Dudley does simply because it's incredibly unclothe, and he has better ways of getting what he wants. Dudley isn't smart enough to compare to Draco. Though Draco and Dudley might both have things handed to them, Draco is not gluttonous or greedy about it. Dudley will trash his gifts and belongings, constantly wanting more, and viewing things given to him as disposable. Draco wants things yes (like every child does) but he's proud of his possessions and cherishes them, brags about them. Dudley is an animal compared to Draco. He doesn't have the same skill, smarts or self control. Dudley is abusive, and a tyrant in his bullying. Dudley wants to see Harry hurt and bleed. He is very violent compared to Draco. While we constantly and repeatedly see Draco shy away from violence, and use more his words.

Part 3 : DRACO'S "HARASSMENT", STRATEGIES AND EVOLUTION.

Draco despite his threats and facade is Not a violent person. This is because despite all Draco's bravo, and cruel words, Draco is kind. Yes he is conflicted, but that is only more proof of his inner kindness. If he didn't feel guilty, he wouldn't feel conflicted. Which means he really doesn't want to be mean to others, but he's just acting out based on how he thinks he's supposed to feel/act, but doesn't really enjoy it. I think when you strip Draco back behind his actions, and pose, you'll find a very different person. The half-blood prince gave us some of that, but it's another thing to see it in Draco from the beginning. Essentially Draco's attempt at bullying started when Harry rejected his friendship. Draco had probably never been rejected before, and probably couldn't possibly fathom why Harry would choose anyone else over him. While yes that's a bit coincided, Draco was also incredibly sheltered and probably wasn't introduced to children who weren't already tied to his family. Harry's rejection irrevocably shattered Draco's confidence and perception, which sent him into literal years of lashing out at Harry for his hurt emotions, and pining for his attention. It is the most pathetic excuse for bullying, and Draco antagonizing Harry is the equivalent of pulling a girl's pigtails. Draco did get quite shrewd with words, but he was really just trying to get the biggest reaction, especially since Harry is so volatile at times. The truth of the matter is Draco is actually very jealous, because deep down he really admires Harry. He want's the same freedom Harry has. He doesn't want to worry about his duty or who he has to be, but to be able to live authentically the way he views that Harry does. Draco really just wants to be more like Harry, but feels he is stuck, by the Dark Lord, his family obligations or anything else. Draco isn't a bully, he's just sad. Not even Ron or Hermione take him seriously after a while. *cough*this is why Drarry is so huge*

Part 4 : He had no choice?????

Everyone has a choice, but I think you over estimate how easy a choice can be. Family is important to Draco, they are probably the only people who love him for who he is, not what they can get out of him. As a child Draco felt pride in his family, and family made him feel special and important. As he got older that pride turn into expectations, and responsibility. Lucius and Narcissa value the preservation of their family above all else. They are protective and loving and those feeling extended to Draco. It's where he gets his kindness. It is indeed a Slytherin trait to value those you care about above everyone else. We protect our own, a loyalty probably stronger then Hufflepuff for those select few a Slytherin deeply cares about. Draco's parent would let the whole world burn to save him, and Draco would do the same for them. While Draco's family did hold pureblood ideals, after the first war Voldemort was not someone they willing wanted to follow. The light sided also would have never offered aid to death eaters, because fundamentally they were still against the dark, and there was no other place for dark wizards to go except Voldemort. Most of the death eaters had actually been somewhat relived at the news of Voldemort's death, and the boy who lived, as Voldemort had already become insane to the point of torturing his own followers, and wasn't getting them anywhere near their goals. Except for the also insane brainwashed few like Bella who'd follow her lord to the grave, many of the death eater's were content to be peaceful and stay quite after the war. Probably even grateful for it, as there were many needless casualties on both sides. I feel like the Malfoys were one of those families that were happy to get out. If the side they are on is harmful or losing, they are ready to abandon ship. This may sound like they are cowardly with no resolve, but if it was the life and death of your family, and your loved ones, I think you might think differently. I feel like we aren't too far off in agreement here, but where we differ is in judgement and motives we feel the Malfoys, or Draco had. Lucius made a mistake in the first war, and spent the second trying to keep his family out of danger. I can't imagine the fear he had in Azkaban for his family, the dementors feeding off him and what he thought the Dark Lord would do to his only son, his wife, his family. Meanwhile Draco was left with the threat of his father rotting in Azkaban, and his mother being killed. His mother also with the thought of her son being killed. So yes Draco could have made a choice, and he did make a choice, a choice to protect his family, and honestly I can't see that as wrong. Maybe if Harry would have actually taken his offer of friendship things could have gone differently and it wouldn't have come to that.

Part 5 : Abuse Theory

I definitely agree with you here. The Malfoys were not abusive, and get a better anthology for racism then something which in fact could be solved with a study on culture rather then blood. If you want a good parallel for racism in HP forget muggleborns, and look at creature blood, not dumb house elfs either, but werewolves, goblins, centaurs beings just as intelligent as wizards. The bigotry towards werewolves especially is horrific, especially from the "light side" who avidly labels them as dangerous dark creatures. *Also note about the scene in Borgen and Berks* Lucius stopped Draco from touching the artifact because it was probably cursed, as many dark artifacts are. Even if you know what you're doing they can be dangerous to handle carelessly. So Lucius was actually very wise and protecting Draco, his 12 yr old son, from getting badly hurt. Why the cane? If touching a cursed object curses you, then its better not to get close with your actual hands. Using his cane to push Draco away was actually a precaution. Lucius is anything but careless,

Part 6: Draco's Wand and Symbolism

I generally agree here too, but I believe this symbolism is more reflective of the things Draco wishes he could have had, or done differently. If anything the wand and symbolism Draco has is representative of the good in him, and not cowardice, or inability to do enough.

Part 7: Redemption

Tbh I'm part of the crowd that would have liked that deleted scene to stay in the final cut. However I understand what's justifiable for one person, may not be enough for someone else. This is where you get more into the topic of morality, and how much are you morally responsible for as a person. Harry has been drilled with the mindset for years that he has to save everyone, and that if your not in it for the greater good, ready to lay down your life you better forget being in it at all. Personally I don't believe Harry has any right to claim that rhetoric, as Dumbledore(and by association Grindlewald) practically spoon fed it down his throat; but I wont talk about that as it's a whole other issue. Draco, you have to understand has a whole type of different morality. Objectively I believe he's a good person, if not pressured by the echo chamber of ideals around him. Yet Draco repeatedly gives signs, and expresses the desire to want to do good. In order to properly analyze Draco you have to look past his outward facade, and actions, or you'll never see him as anything more then he pretends to be. If you can only read plain text, if you can't see past the obvious, you will always have a very flat one dimensional view of a character or a person. To me there's no redemption needed. Draco is already good, more good then his parents, and perhaps more good then some who claim goodness.

In summary Draco is a very complex person, who tries to over compensate for his flaws, struggles to express honesty, but deeply cares for others, especially his family. His duality lies in how he wants to be good to others, yet how in the end he always chooses to save the ones he loves, over the majority. Draco will always have his flaws, but he will always have his goodness too, and I hope you won't disregard that.

Thank you for coming to my Ted Talk.

P.S

Kudos to anyone who read through all that.

[ficletsbynaria]

Hello! Hope you don't mind, I'd like to request something very specific and kinda personal... For maybe Tokoyami and Shinsou? Where their S/O plays an instrument but doesn't want /like to play infront of other people? And now there's recital and her mom makes her go as always but this time S/O didn't have enough time to practice (maybe bcs of hero work) and feels ashamed to play? 1🙏

“I have 20 minutes to get there and can’t stop crying 😖 I just like to imagine there is someone to hug me after… I’m so sorry, delete this if you want to ❤️ love u 2🙏”

worry not anon ! i’d cater to any requests no matter how specific it is 😊😊 as someone who writes self-indulgent fics i would know ,,, and who wouldn’t want hugs and kisses from tokoyami and shinsou ?? 💖💗💓

alright let’s get to it !

𝔴𝔬𝔯𝔡 𝔠𝔬𝔲𝔫𝔱: 1,740 words

𝔠𝔥𝔞𝔯𝔞𝔠𝔱𝔢𝔯𝔰: Tokoyami Fumikage, Shinsou Hitoshi

𝔱𝔞𝔤𝔰: none

𝚃𝚘𝚔𝚘𝚢𝚊𝚖𝚒

You clutched the bow in your hand, stopping yourself from throwing it across your room. Hot tears threatened to fall from your eyes as you inhaled deeply. It took everything in you not to cry in front of her that day.

“You are going to that recital, or I will drag your stubborn self there.”

You kept your tone steady. “Mom, I didn’t practice enough. Can’t I just miss one performance?”

She let out a scoff at your suggestion. “What an irresponsible request. It’s your fault that you didn’t practice, and you will pay for the consequences.” Your eyes went wide. Your mother was willing to embarrass you in front of a crowd.

“I knew that U.A. school was bad for you. You should’ve pursued classical music like me.” 

“I don’t want to be like you. You wanted me to become a musician. You never asked me what I wanted.”

She stared you down with a dark expression, her gaze making you flinch. “Don’t talk back to me, child.”

The sounds of knocking made you snap back to reality. You realized quiet tears stained your cheeks and you did your best to wipe any traces off with your sleeve. Violin and bow in hand, you swung open the door, revealing a dark (but welcome) figure standing there.

“Fumi?” The boy’s hair ruffled at the sound of his nickname. Tokoyami rubbed the back of his neck, a gesture he made when he’s a bit shy. Something he only does around you.

“Um, dinner’s ready. The others told me to come over and tell you.” He glanced at the instrument, “Since you seem busy and all.”  

You were slowly forgetting your sadness from before. Tokoyami couldn’t have arrived at a better time. 

“Oh! Are you practicing the violin now, Y/N?” Dark Shadow crept from behind Tokoyami, pointing at your instrument. You lifted it up and stared at it with tired eyes. “Yeah, just a bit.”

“You were in your room all day. I don’t think that was for ‘a bit’.” Tokoyami interjected. Your face felt hot at his comment calling you out.

Waving your hands defensively, you stammered out an excuse. “It’s not that! I was just perfecting some parts, that’s all.”

Tokoyami gave you a look and you sighed in defeat. Of course, your perceptive boyfriend would know if you were lying to him. 

“Is it your mother again?” He also read your mind so many times now, that it scared you.

“When is it not?” You joked. He, however, was not in a laughing mood. Looking you over, you felt small in his gaze, albeit almost being at the same height.

“Move aside.” You took some time to process his words but realized you were blocking the doorway to your dorm. You stepped aside, letting him in, and closing the door behind you.

This was a regular occurrence for both of you. Tokoyami sensing your sour mood and opting to stay with you in your room to help you feel better. 

Even though he initiated the dorm visits, when it comes to what you do in the dorm, you were the one making the first move.

Placing the violin and bow in its case, you quickly hopped over to your bed, where Tokoyami was already seated. Snuggling up to his side, you let out a quiet sigh. His hair tickled your cheeks and you smiled to yourself at the thought.

“My mom didn’t allow me to skip my recital. Even if she knew I would just mess up in the middle of it.” Tokoyami was quiet, letting you speak. “I mean, yeah it’s my fault I didn’t practice that much. But she should at least understand my reasons.” Your hands gripped the fabric of your pants. You anticipated another wave of tears coming, but your mind went elsewhere as you felt something warm wrap around your hand.

Tokoyami was facing away from your surprised face. It was unusual for him to initiate physical contact. You must be in a really bad mood for him to do that.

“You shouldn’t beat yourself up for something that you couldn’t control.” A man of a few, but wise words, Tokoyami continued. “Besides, you’ve practiced enough. So it’s unlikely that you’ll mess up.” He went silent again after that. You also couldn’t form any sentences after the initial shock of him holding your hand.

To make matters worse, he started rubbing circles at the back of your hand with his thumb. At this point, you were too flustered to think of a response. Finally, Tokoyami looked at your direction. His expression became serious. “If you’re nervous on that stage, think of me and how proud I’ll be of you when you perform.”

Your heart was hammering in your chest. Tokoyami was intense, but this was the first time he directed that intensity to you, in a good way. Regaining your composure, you glanced back at your violin case. 

If you’re nervous, think of me and how proud I’ll be.

You felt yourself grin at his words. Unable to contain your excitement, you gave Tokoyami a peck on the side of his beak. The contact startled him off your bed. His eyes darted around the room, avoiding yours. You couldn’t help but chuckle at his reaction.

“Thank you, Fumi.” You beamed up at him.

Tokoyami peeked at your face, then faced the other way, crossing his arms defiantly. 

“Don’t mention it.”

“Hey you’re blushing!” Dark Shadow popped out again and teased Tokoyami, causing the bird boy to curse it out.

.・゜゜・　　・゜゜・．

𝚂𝚑𝚒𝚗𝚜𝚘𝚞

You hid around the stage curtains. Your hands were becoming clammy at the worst time. You tried rubbing your hands together to gain some heat from the friction. Scared didn’t even begin to describe your state. You hated crowds, terrified of the eyes landing on you. Seeing your every move. 

Lucky for you, you had a piano recital coming up in 10 minutes. With a gymnasium packed to the rafters, and your whole family on the front row ready to watch. You considered begging your tutor to call off the performance, but you thought better of it. Besides, the wrath of your mother when you cancel the recital was a fate worse than death. 

One thing kept you from running away though. From hiding under your blankets, away from the world’s judgmental stares. 

You peeked outside from your corner, looking over at the audience. Your eyes lit up when you spotted a mop of purple hair somewhere in the third row. Maybe this recital wouldn’t be so bad, after all. 

As if feeling you ogling at him, Shinsou locked eyes with you. A smirk appeared on his face and he gave you a wink. The action made you blush and you whipped back into your safe corner. Of all times, he chose now to be a cheeky little shit.  

“Five minutes till showtime, Y/N.” Your tutor reminded you. Your nerves were on fire, and his little reminder did not help. Gathering your courage one last time, you checked again for Shinsou. Surprisingly, you couldn’t find him in his previous spot. That made you even more nervous. 

“Oh my god, I’m hallucinating.” You thought you saw your boyfriend in the crowd. Looking again for the third time, you confirmed that everything was in your imagination. 

Great. I’m going insane. 

You weren’t usually on edge. This time was different, since your practice was minimal, and you had no formal rehearsal beforehand. You wanted to quit piano when you got into U.A. but your mother told you that the general studies department didn’t have the same load as the hero course. She was right, in that matter, yet her reasons to force you into continuing piano lessons were a stretch. Arguing with her would lead to nothing productive, so you decided to humor her for now. 

Still, you were hoping to avoid recitals during your first year. With where you are now though, you deemed your hopes were ignored. 

“Sir, the backstage is for authorized personnel and performers only! Please go back to your seat.” 

Your attention went to the commotion behind you. You almost squealed out when you saw who was in the middle of it. 

“And what if I don’t want to?” 

The staff suddenly froze in their spot, eyes glossed over.  

“Go and tell your boss to give Y/N five more minutes.” The staff member slowly turned around and walked towards your unaware tutor. Meanwhile, the culprit was sauntering towards you. You hid your smile in your hand, clearing your throat.

“I told you not to brainwash innocent people.”

He chuckled. “He was taking away my alone time with you, how’s that guy innocent?”

Shinsou walked around you and hugged you from behind. You let out a tiny shriek as he nuzzled himself into your neck. 

“I missed you, you know? You kept practicing after class for the whole week.” Shinsou’s voice was muffled into your skin. You relished his warmth, using it to distract yourself from your nervousness. Back then, you didn’t consider him as the touchy-feely type. A few weeks into your relationship and you were proven wrong, however. Not that you minded.

“That whole week wasn’t enough prep. I’m going into this unprepared.” You sighed, pulling away from Shinsou’s embrace. He glanced at his watch, clicking his tongue when he realized he had a minute or so left.

He placed his hands on your face, compelling you to look at him. His dark purple eyes were boring into yours, and your focus momentarily went over to the ever-developing bags under his. 

“Listen to me when I say this.” Your eyebrow arched at his statement, thinking better of answering him if he decided to brainwash you now. He’d use his quirk on you as a joke sometimes, but when you noticed that any hint of playfulness was gone from his expression, you answered.

“Alright, I’ll listen.”

He smiled at that. “You worked hard to get to this point. Believe in your abilities, and you will  never feel like you aren’t enough.” He stated, removing his hands from your cheeks and placing them in his pockets. 

“Now go out there and knock ‘em dead.”

Shinsou gave you a quick kiss and ran off before more staff members came to scold him. Watching his retreating figure, you weren’t sure why you were so nervous in the first place.

After all, he believed in you.