#he's procuring tastes that they'll like

[t-u-i-t-c]

this gif that i posted is not of sakito drinking the drink genba gave him! it's actually sakito taking a sip of taiya's drink while genba is mixing his drink!

taiya's drink is a tomato and orange cocktail, which he places on the bar as he talks to sakito.

while genba is mixing sakito's "chaotic" drink, sakito takes a sip of taiya's drink and doesn't like it, as demonstrated in the gif.

genba then serves sakito his actual drink which is a fruit and lemonade cocktail, which contains syrups, soda, fruits, and pudding (quite chaotic).

he seems to like it as he sips it multiple times with no clear negative reactions to the taste.

[astonmartinii]

reluctant cupid | lando norris social media au

pairing: lando norris x fem bff!reader

you could set your bestie up with a driver or you could confess your feelings? lando norris is dumb.

based on this request: Could you write something about being best friends with lando and he tries to help set you up with another driver you have a crush on, but then he realises he actually likes you so he has to sabotage all the wingmanning he’s done and you end up together Idk if that makes sense 😭🫶🏼🫶🏼 -@mbappesleftthigh

MASTERLIST | TIP JAR

yourusername

liked by landonorris, oscarpiastri and 49,340 others

yourusername: someone please save me from the grips of hinge and this oh so lonesome life

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user1: girl knows the whole f1 paddock and looks like that and is still alone there is NO HOPE for me

user2: this post might have thrown me over the edge

landonorris: "i'm so lonely" "why don't you approach that guy" "no too scary"

user3: that's so real though

yourusername: thank you!

landonorris: how do you expect to find a boyfriend when you don't like to talk to anyone and treat hinge like a gameshow

yourusername: i didn't come here for actual advice let me commiserate in peace. god, can women have anything these days?

landonorris: ???

yourusername: oh! idea! pretty please set me up with one of your friends? they have to be great otherwise you wouldn't be friends with them, right? RIGHT?

landonorris: i guess...

yourusername: please lando, i've never asked for anything before

landonorris: i can feel you pouting through the phone

yourusername: so you'll consider ?

landonorris: fine...

user4: bro either gotta admit his feelings now or be condemned to be in the plot of a weird romantic comedy

user5: i personally don't think i can wait until the third act break up with this side character LANDO ACT NOW

oscarpiastri: you'd really trust lando's judgement?

yourusername: he's friends with me, he's got good taste?

oscarpiastri: touche

maxverstappen1: whatever you really wanna say oscar, you gotta keep it in, these idiots will figure it out eventually

yourusername: ???

landonorris: ???

user6: the grid are so done with their asses i can't 😭

user7: but what if the universe doesn't intervene and lando really has just lost the girl forever?

user8: bestie we can't be thinking like this

landonorris

liked by carlossainz55, yourusername and 812,047 others

tagged: yourusername

landonorris: being back home means being bothered by her (and whatever is her newest hyperfixation - it's sylvanian families this month if you couldn't tell)

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user9: i am so sorry but they are so in love

user10: it's cute in the movies, but these blind bitches are starting to piss me off

yourusername: THEY CAN HEAR YOU, BE A BETTER DAD

landonorris: they're not my children

yourusername: you take that back right now, you LOVE them

landonorris: you spent my money on them yes

yourusername: that's fatherhood, buddy. buckle up

user11: whoever he sets her up (if he's still dumb enough to do that) is gonna be the biggest third wheel in history

user12: who would willingly sign up for that

user13: me. i would. i have two working eyes and have seen y/n

maxverstappen1: who are these funky little critters and how can i procure some for p?

yourusername: finally a man with sense, literally any grocery store or toy store

maxverstappen1: perf

yourusername: if lando stops being mr. grumpy i'll ask him if i can come to a race and p and i can play animal families

landonorris: i am NOT mr. grumpy

maxverstappen1: you kinda are dude. is it the set-up is it stressing you out?

landonorris: nO

yourusername: then why are you putting it off !!! lando i might die from terminal yearning !!!

landonorris: i have an interested candidate

yourusername: really? do you think they'll actually like me? like this isn't a pity date right?

landonorris: nope!

user14: lando is typing through tears as we speak

user15: if y/n does go on a date with someone from the paddock i actually hope it goes well, as one lonely girl to another, it's tough out here we need one win

f1wagupdates

liked by user18, user19 and 11,043 others

tagged: yourusername & carlossainz55

f1wagupdates: turns out lando is a bit of a cupid as his childhood friend y/n y/ln was spotted out and about with carlos sainz.

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user20: HE ACTUALLY DID IT

user21: that moment when you're so down bad for a girl that you set her up with your best friend

user22: that moment when you're such a wimp you can't admit your feelings and set up the girl you like with a literal GREEK GOD

user23: i am so bamboozled by this move he literally looked like a kicked puppy on his stream bro this is your doing 😭

user24: she's a lover girl she's going to get her heart broken :(

user25: this has mess written all over it

user26: she's literally described herself as a terminal yearner i feel like she'll throw herself in and will get hurt

user27: UNLESS! this is all part of the plan? what if lando set her up with a messy guy like carlos so he can be the shoulder to cry on and that's how he slides in?

user28: that's very convoluted, very rom-com but i'll take it if it means we get lando and y/n together in the end

user29: i know this probably won't last long but can we all appreciate how hot this couple is?

user30: lando and y/n runs rings round y/n and carlos

user31: lol lando is a bad friend for setting her up with CARLOS him and charles are THEE red flags

user32: i hope y/n is prepared

user33: also lando hasn't thought it fully out if his plan is to be the shoulder to cry on because he's just opening her up to be called a homie hopper or a paddock bunny

carlossainz55

liked by charles_leclerc, pierregasly and 702,554 others

carlossainz55: productive weekend with my girl

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user34: well that's not y/n

user35: that finished faster than i expected

user36: lando DO NOT quit your day job

landonorris: call me bro

carlossainz55: si, cabron

user37: i don't think they'll be cabrons after this call

user38: maybe this is all just going to plan?

user39: yall gotta give up this conspiracy theory maybe these people are just as dumb and mean as they seem to be

user40: soooooo... what did we all do this weeekend?

user41: i broke a girl's heart @carlossainz55 twins 👯‍♂️

user42: AHHHH???

maxverstappen1: oh that's not-

yourusername: you're so chronically online :(

maxverstappen1: you're alive?

yourusername: yes. coming at you live from the bed i'm currently rotting in

maxverstappen1: not going to say i didn't warn you?

carlossainz55: really? in my own comment section?

yourusername: one second, we're having a conversation here

maxverstappen1: yeah carlos, gosh.

carlossainz55: i'm so confused

user43: okay power move to just start a conversation in his comments?

user44: the power of confusion is simply unmatched

yourusername

liked by maxverstappen1, landonorris and 56,309 others

yourusername: certified boy hater

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user45: a ferrari boy will do that to you

landonorris: feeling hashtag victimised rn

yourusername: obviously doesn't include you girlypop. but you seriously need to reevaluate your judgement

landonorris: carlos is attractive?

yourusername: he ghosted me?

carlossainz55: i am right here

yourusername: blocked.

landonorris: did you actually just block him?

yourusername: yes 😀 !

landonorris: god this is a nightmare

yourusername: not if you'd take a GOD DAMN HINT

landonorris: WHAT IS THAT SUPPOSED TO MEAN?

user46: yall this is a public instagram comment section

user47: don't say that, this is their argument in the rain moment

user48: lemme grab the popcorn 🍿

maxverstappen1: this better not include the real number one girlypop here

yourusername: of course not pookie

oscarpiastri: you gonna continue the lil spat above this?

yourusername: no?

oscarpiastri: well some people (max and i) would like to listen so please continue

yourusername: no, i don't think i will

oscarpiastri: GOD YOU PEOPLE ARE INSUFFERABLE

maxverstappen1: what oscar said

user49: oscar and max are so real

user50: they can't leave us on this cliff hanger

landonorris

liked by yourusername, danielricciardo and 1,043,788 others

landonorris: some snaps from '23

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user51: have we just been thirst trapped?

user52: i don't think it was intended for us

user53: this has "i am hotter than carlos sainz" written all over it

yourusername: posting tits on main, brave.

landonorris: i came second in singapore.

yourusername: sureeeeeeeeeeeeeeee. modesty, ever heard of it lan?

landonorris: slutshaming isn't cute y/n

yourusername: you kinda have to pull to be a slut lan. you are under qualified for the position

landonorris: if you keep being mean to me i will call your mum or my mum.

yourusername: try it. i see cisca more than you, i have faith in her

landonorris: the line is busy. are you on the phone to MY mum right now?

yourusername: maybe.

user54: we're so close to them getting their heads out of their asses

user55: don't get my hopes up

danielricciardo: i hope this works lol

landonorris: you don't think i'm sexy?

danielricciardo: it doesn't matter what i think

landonorris: i'm not sexy :(

danielricciardo: you're baiting me but yes, you are sexy.

user56: i'll fight anyone who made this man believe he's not beautiful

liked by yourusername

user57: I SAW THAT 📸

user58: someone just lock them in a cupboard at this point

oscarpiastri: noted.

yourusername

liked by maxverstappen1, landonorris and 89,034 others

tagged: landonorris

yourusername: yeah, yeah. you can stop yelling at us now.

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user61: LET'S FUCKING GO

user62: it was worth all that yelling. i expect an invite to the wedding now.

user63: wedding? girly they only just realised their feelings after a DECADE

maxverstappen1: it was about fucking time

yourusername: okay miss ma'am. some people are EMOTIONALLY VULNERABLE AND NOT VERY GOOD AT PROCESSING THEM

maxverstappen1: you must've been emotionally constipated because this was painful

yourusername: it was painful for me too

maxverstappen1: so painful that you dated CARLOS

yourusername: one date! ONE!

maxverstappen1: carlos said can you unblock him so he can be mean to me?

yourusername: fine.

carlossainz55: STOP MAKING ME LOOK LIKE A BAD PERSON. YES I AM NOT THE BEST AT RELATIONSHIPS BUT LEAVE ME BE

maxverstappen1: lol

yourusername: lol

user64: unblocking carlos to hit him with the lol max and y/n might be more iconic than lando and y/n

landonorris: not on our relationship announcement post 🤨

user65: OOP.

landonorris: i love you doofus

yourusername: i love you too muppet

landonorris: how much was the betting pool for your family?

yourusername: it got to over £300

landonorris: ours was £750

yourusername: are we dumb?

landonorris: no!

oscarpiastri: two dumbass girls saying 'yass' to each other

yourusername: LEAVE US BE

landonorris: oscar :(

user66: not their own families betting on when they'd get together 😭

landonorris

liked by maxverstappen1, yourusername and 1,430,778 others

tagged: yourusername

landonorris: first win, hopefully not my only one.

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user67: MY BABIES

user68: i feel like i've been on this journey with them

oscarpiastri: thank god you guys got your shit together, i was THIS close to jumping out the nearest window if i had to watch lando mope around like a kicked puppy when y/n had the lil thing with carlos

user69: so it wasn't some grand plan?

oscarpiastri: no he's just dumb enough to actually set up his first love with his best friend

landonorris: OSCAR!

oscarpiastri: am i wrong?

landonorris: no... but! i got there in the end

oscarpiastri: good thing you're faster on track

user70: the grid being just as done with them as us is killing me

maxfewtrell: finally this unnecessarily long and overly convoluted saga has come to and end, lets never do this again!

landonorris: i'm locked in for life bro no worries

yourusername: awwwwwwwwwwwwww i love you too bubs

maxfewtrell: stop being sappy under my comment

yourusername: you just complained we didn't sort out our shit fast enough and now we're too sappy?

landonorris: STICK TO A STORY BOZO

maxfewtrell: now you're even more ride or die... can we go back?

yourusername: nope!

landonorris: nope!

maxverstappen1: i for one am very happy for you both

yourusername: thank you max !!

landonorris: not so fast, he had the biggest bet on us in the paddock

yourusername: get that bag sis

landonorris: ???

yourusername: we can't fight it anymore, let them have their jokes, we actually have each other now :)

landonorris: yes we do :) xx

user71: golly gosh this is so fucking cute

fin.

note: i hope this is what you were looking for and that you all enjoyed!! i'm just waiting on my tester sticker sheets for my small business @badlydrawnf1cats on here and on instagram, if you wanna give it a follow x tHANK YOU FOR READING MY LOVES X

[iceunhie]

indirect kiss moments !

summary: you drink from their cup on accident = the realization that you may or may not have shared an indirect kiss. how do they feel about that? too flustered beyond belief, it seems....

featuring: part one (here) - kazuha, wanderer | part two - albedo, neuvillette, alhaitham

notes: not exactly established relationship, crush crush hehe, fluffy, my two anemo faves in one post.... loud gasp effect in the background (pls don't perceive this as my betrayal to the other anemos they'll have their turn soon i promise 🫡)

WANDERER — (in/ex)ternally flustered as fuck + has stopped working

wanderer doesn't think he has a heart, but the way the void in his chest thumps for but a flicker of a moment proves him quite wrong.

why, you ask? it's all because of you.

he resists the urge to snap, terribly so, but out of being flustered more than anything, not irritation. because there is absolutely no way for him to properly process these turn of events with even a hint of rationality. you seem to be promptly ignorant of the whirring of thoughts in his mechanical head. ignorant of his rather foolish situation of going irrational and borderline idiotic.

all because of a damn indirect kiss.

his eyes lift from where he's burning holes onto the cup you're holding—his cup, he corrects, and lingers embarrassingly long (too long) on your lips. he tries not to fight the way heat creeps up his skin, synthetic yet all too real (perhaps like his own, untouched feelings); he thinks he might be red in the face. horribly red, thinking that oh no, he’s faced with the egregious notion that he may be too (very) obvious with how his reaction to your simple action betrays his secret fondness for your existence. most troubling.

it's fine, he tries to rationalize, he's got to relax. it was but a sip of tea. tea he so carefully procured and offered with much reluctance that was more feigned than anything else. tea he only drank because he heard in passing about your preference for it, very, very sweet tea he wouldn't normally drink, he notes with faint distaste—the things he lets you get away with—

….and then you lick your lips to savor the taste.

if the traveler hadn't showed him a taste of an almost death, then he thinks this might just be how he falls.

[ spoiler alert: he ends up hastily getting up to leave after pouring you another refill, muttering curses that would certainly alarm the average civilian. fast as light; if only to hide the utter mess that was his face. red, breathless (even though he doesn't need to breathe) and disgustingly, horribly flustered.

you’d better do your best to calm his self-imposed brooding— he isn't going to tell you anything about what exactly made him fluster this much. best of luck. ]

KAZUHA — flustered, but smiling like a lovesick fool (wants to write endless haikus about this)

kazuha is drunk, both in love and on the sake that burns his throat in a pleasant blend of sweet and strong.

it all started with your request to drink from his cup. you ordered a different drink from him while the crew of the crux were celebrating beidou’s birthday. even now, the sound of laughter and drunken slurring fills the night, a slow and, if he has to be frank, tone-deaf melody of a simple happy birthday echoing in the air. of course, being as drunk in love (beidou’s words) as he is, kazuha didn't even hesitate at all to give you a sip.

…and it just so happens that you managed to drink at the exact place he drank from earlier.

small mercies come in the form of playing off the intense blush of his face and chalking it up to the effects of the wine and sake. kazuha isn't one to be flustered easily, but he must admit this one elicited no light reaction from him, no matter how much he may downplay its impact.

perhaps it was delusional, but was there not a tradition about drinking from each other's cups like this that could symbolize marriage….?

oh dear, the alcohol was getting to him, and fast.

[ spoiler alert: the next day, when you wake up with a sore headache and an achy body and an extremely clingy kazuha, try not to be confused when he mentions something like kissing you in the haze of his sleep.

the following week will also make you subject to two things: 1) an increasingly clingy kazuha (see above), and 2) dozens upon dozens of haikus left at your home, along with silkflowers of innumerable count you’d think he'd plucked the entire lot of them. you never did know why kazuha had become even sweeter (was that even possible...?) all of a sudden. ]

[९] 2024 © iceunhie :: do not copy or use my works.

[stackofpossums]

How would the main six react to an MC who won't take there medicine, no matter how much convincing? Not because they don't wish to, simply because the medicine is so disgusting?

This ask made me giggle because I am definitely the MC who won't take my medicine, so:

Asra: He already knew there was no way MC was going to agree to take it. He's only asking them to take it so they won't be suspicious that their drink tastes slightly off.

Julian: He's crying. Please take your medicine MC. He would never be okay if something happened to you. It tastes awful now, but he has suckers in his bag. He'll give you a sticker, too. Please, MC. DON'T YOU WANT THE STICKER, MC???

Nadia: She's already done everything to procure the least disgusting medicine possible for MC, but she can only do so much. She'll have the servants send whatever MC wants to chase it down with as long as they promise they'll take it when it arrives.

Muriel: he's already made every natural remedy he knows for you. He's going to try to convince you, but unless it's life or death for you to take it, he's probably not going to make you take it if the natural remedies are helping you.

Portia: Yeah, this wasn't a choice. MC is taking that medicine. If they try to run, she's hunting them down like Pepi when she's stolen something. At least she always makes sure to have something yummy for you to immediately chase it down with.

Lucio: He understands. He would also be putting up a fight if someone tried to make him take that. But... the doctor said you should really take this MC... and what kind of gentleman would Lucio be if he let MC stay sick like this? MC is getting the biggest puppy dog eyes from them until they finally relent.

[rutting-season]

I want nothing more right now than to have a boy come over, run me a bath, pack a bag of toys, and pick out an outfit for me while I'm relaxing in the bubbles. I want him to come in when he's done and wash my hair, wash my body, shower me with kisses while hes drying me off, then leave me breathless and deperate for more. He'd watch me get dressed before taking me to a party.

He'll bring me drinks and whisper all the things he wants to do to me and kiss my neck in a crowded room where I have to keep my composure. When I'm begging for him to touch me he would toss me over his shoulder and take me to a room, lock the door, and he would all but rip all the pretty things he dressed me up in off my body.

He would praise me for how well behaved I've been. He will trail kisses down my neck and chest, stopping and leaving hickeys where they'll be visible when I'm dressed again, then push me back onto the bed. He'd spread my legs, teasing me for being so wet already, rubbing his fingers over my clit before dropping to his knees and dragging me to the edge of the mattress.

He lays me at his alter, I am his willing sacrifice, he trails kisses up my thighs before eating me like I'm his first meal in weeks. My fingers twined in his hair, pulling him closer, grinding myself into his mouth, desperate moans escaping me. When I'm close he'll get up, procuring a plug and a vibrator from the bag before undressing, drawing a pleading whine from my lips when he returns, pressing his thigh between my legs.

His kisses taste of ambrosia and alcohol, like nectar from the gods. I can't control myself, my hips buck against his thigh and I beg for him to have his way with me. He hushes me with a kiss and sits back, plug in hand, and slowly presses it into me, reveling in my hitched breaths and moans.

He grabs my wrists and pins them above my head, his eyes hungrily taking in my form as he settles between my legs, his member resting at my entrance. He teasingly presses the tip into me and pulls back a few times, not yet letting it slide in fully. I writhe and roll my hips, trying to get more before I lose my patience with being good and wrap my legs around his hips, pushing him in in one swift movement.

He sighs, simultaneously annoyed and satisfied with my disobedience. I moan, finally being filled perfectly. He thrusts, deep and hard, as if to tell me how naughty that was, before setting a languid pace, my legs stay wrapped around his waist. He watches my eyes flutter shut, listening to my breathy moans hitch with each thrust, face flushed with lust and desire. He presses his face into my neck and begins thrusting with more desperation.

He's close, but he's not done yet, so he stops and breathes for a moment before he pulls out completely. I sit up and follow him, kissing his neck and running my hands over his body. That doesn't last. He turns me as he pushes me back towards the bed, so I land on my hands and knees. His hands explore my thighs and back, his cock pressed against me again, I grind back onto him.

He hands me the vibrator then leans over me so he can whisper in my ear, "You know what to do with that, dont you?" He then presses his hand between my shoulder blades until I sink down on one forearm so I'll be stable enough to pleasure myself with my other hand. I spread my legs wider, positioning the head of the wand just right before turning it on. I jolt from the sensation and he praises me, his cock pressing into me, I squirm as he fills me again.

This time he is reckless and rough, gripping my hips and pulling them back against him with each thrust. I can hardly breathe, let alone moan, and my legs shake, already close. My body is shuddering, it only takes a few encouraging words to push me over the edge, convulsing and panting as I come apart. I clench and spasm around him, his hips stutter, thrusts becoming more erratic before he joins me. I can feel each pulse as he cums with me, his hands grip me tighter, his moans sound like a symphony.

Eventually he stops, still inside me, and sighs. I push my hips back a few times to hear his breath hitch. I turn off the vibrator and toss it to the side before falling forward and turning over, making space for him on the bed. He collapses next to me, holding me close, pulling my hair loose from it's bun and running his fingers through it so it can dry untangled.

We lay there in silence, catching our breath, exchanging lazy satified kisses until the aftershocks stop wracking through my body. Slowly we gather ourselves, helping echother dress, sneaking kisses along the way, and head back out into the party, covered in each others marks.

[zephyrusislost]

All the lonely people

Chapter 1. Snowfall

In his first life, Regulus Black had died alone.

And now, seventeen years into his second life, he has almost everything that he'd ever wished for last time.

In the small town of New Roselle, Adrastor Snow was the keeper for an ancient graveyard standing beside the even more ancient church. Since the ripe age of ten, Regulus Snow had been learning the trade from his father, in bite sized pieces. Newly graduated from high school now, he can take over, and Adrastor can finally rest.

Objectively, Regulus liked his second life better than his first. His parents, Lysandra and Adrastor Snow, were kind and doting. He could see his whole life planned out ahead, with people that knew and had no problems with him. All in all, very pleasant, very tame.

On the first day of his father's retirement, Regulus trekked the whole five minutes from his home to the graveyard, and unlocked the heavy ornate gates seven minutes before nine o'clock. He checked off his morning tasks at a pace comparable to a sloth: unlock the office, check the mail, water the bushes, clean up any rubbish and dead flowers, then finally, sit in his little swinging chair and stare off at nothing. Just fine and dandy.

The first few people dribble in just as he'd settled down. They don't ever talk to him, and don't usually even look at him. Regulus respects that. They're here to grieve, and sometimes, Regulus feels like he is too.

Despite passing these same people in the streets, in the shops, the church, for numerous years, he doesn't know most of their names. Doesn't feel the flash of familiarity when he sees their faces.

Niki from the bakery came by at noon. She was lovely to Regulus - his parents had even tried to set them up on a date once - but he was a shadow of a human being who was unable to form connections with anyone anymore. Niki laid pastel yellow flowers by her grandmothers grave, then came to sit next to Regulus, procuring a sourdough loaf that fit perfectly into her cupped hands.

"For you, darling. I was trying some new scoring patterns and this one didn't turn out too well. Still tastes good though." Niki was so kind, so good.

"Thank you, Niki. I'm sure mother and father would like it."

"And what about you?" Niki smiled shyly.

"Of course."

In his second life, Regulus doesn't feel as deeply, doesn't care as much.

~~

Every shift is a graveyard shift when you're in an actual graveyard. That's awful and also poetic for Regulus, because he has been missing his sun. And just about every single little fucking thing that he once had. It's become a little pathetic.

His life now is good. Picture perfect, and happy. Like something out of a novel that Regulus had randomly picked up in the muggle studies section of the Hogwarts library, and secretly enjoyed thoroughly. Maybe living in it would be perfect, if he didn't remember his life as Regulus Black. If mentally, he wasn't still back there, wishing for this mundane life as an escape.

Regulus Black had been quiet, but someone had listened to every word that he said. He was cold and untouchable, but surrounded by people who cared, who tried.

Under the fading blue sky and setting sun, Regulus Snow could speak all he wanted to an empty graveyard, and only the deceased would pretend to listen.

~~

Father Mackenzie's Sunday church services were not very popular. The old man still does his thing as usual, what else can he do anyway? By far, the most exciting things that the church ever sees are weddings, followed by funerals. But in a small town, those are few and far in between.

Regulus attends every Sunday, only for his parents. He doesn't think they'll mind much if he stops going, but doesn't really have enough resolve to break the routine. After the service, some will visit their loved ones in the graveyard. Some won't. Either way, it's usually empty when Regulus returns. This time, it's not.

Two guys, not much older than Regulus, are in his swinging couch as he arrives. They're talking, laughing, and eating baguettes. That's fine, it's a public place. Regulus heads back to his little office. Now would be a good time to write the order for some new flower seeds anyways, his father was a practical man, but this sad little corner of the world was now his pride and life's work, so it should be at least somewhat nice.

He stays in there until five twenty, and closes the gates almost half an hour late, because he lost track of time researching the meanings of different flowers, the conditions they need to grow, and what time of year they would bloom.

As sad as it sounds, Regulus doesn't think he would mind dying alone in his second life too.

[wttf-if]

OMG I LOVE THIS! Can you give me facts about the ROs?!

hi jaune and thank you so much skjhfshdkfhksdf! and yes, yes I can give you some facts! This is a bit of a long boi, so read more under the cut!

Irina has a bunch of voodoo dolls that looks like her family, and she sometimes dresses them up with textiles from the tailor shop in Idovale.

Irina has a ton of journals with poems that she has made, but she's a touch embarrassed by them. The last person who has seen them was Uncle Pocket when he found one of her journals in the hallway. No-one knows where he went after that.

Irina carries a ton of decorative knives in her pocket, and she's very dexterous with her knife-throwing. Her last knife was gifted to her by her father.

Valentin individually named all the bats that live in the attic, so if you hear him calling some names, that's the bats. Probably.

He's the, ironically, the one who's the most socially acceptable in society that can speak with others normally. He hates it.

Valentin gets all of his romance from books in the library and his father's advice. One time, he tried to court someone by riding on a horse. The problem was is that he couldn't find a horse in time, so Nicolae carried him and he asked the person if they wanted to date, while staying in Nicolae's arms. This failed spectacularly.

Nicolae once mentioned to Adrian that he loves to take care of plants, because plants were his friends when he was growing up. Adrian immediately bought a large greenhouse and immediately gifted to him, and asked Nicolae to house every plant he wants to grow in there.

Nicolae often sleeps under the sun when he has free-time. He finds the sunlight soothing.

Nicolae can play the violin, and he plays it when the family requests it. He's in the middle of composing a song dedicated to the Varias family.

Ash tried all manners of pocky, but they love the chocolate-flavored ones the most. Yes. They have eaten every kind of pocky in existence. Adrian helped procure some of them with his contacts, co-workers, and business partners. Their second favorite is the strawberry-flavored one.

Ash was Adrian's friend since they were in Middle School, and it was them who helped Adrian get together with Rozalia. They die a little inside whenever they remember the 'trials and tribulations' the two went through just so Adrian can ask for Rozalia's hand.

Ash wanted to be a detective like their dad, and they were gifted a pocket-watch from him as a graduation gift.

Li cannot wake up on their own. And because they hate coffee, they'll often drink tea to help wake themselves up. Prison doesn't carry any tea, so they usually have to bribe the officers for some. They jump for joy whenever the Varias family sends them some pre-packaged tea.

When Li was a child, they loved to watch the moon. They still like to watch the moon now, and actually had requested to be in a prison cell where they're able to see the moon.

Li's feelings changes a lot, and it really depends on their mood. One time, they chased down a small bunny for fun. They eventually got bored of it and made a small house for it, and left afterwards to find some lettuce because they wanted to. That poor bunny was left very confused.

??? likes to eat sweet food. They find the taste to be refreshing. They will die the moment their tongue hits anything spicy.

??? doesn't like people. They prefer to be near animals.

??? is cynical, but still believes that somewhere out there, there will be someone who can have your back. They have yet to meet that person.

[qqueenofhades]

If you're still accepting prompts, 42 with lighthouse au fivan please?

42. "You live to annoy me, don't you?"

The late afternoon casts hazy golden shadows through the palm trees, the cerulean waves crash ashore in thundering blasts of salt spray and white foam, and as he leans back luxuriously and digs his bare feet into the sand, Fedyor Kaminsky is happy to decide that this is, in fact, pretty much paradise. To say the goddamn least, it is a far, far cry from the pack ice, howling storms, and all the other misery of the Arctic wilderness that he went through to get here, and at his side, even Ivan looks entirely at peace, his hide browned a proper seafarer's bronze and a pair of aviator sunglasses pushed up on his nose. The Mayak rides at anchor nearby, in a sheltered cove just inside the barrier reef, and if someone motors up and demands to see their papers, they'll deal with that when it happens. But this is a secluded beach somewhere on Mexico's rugged Pacific coast, they haven't seen so much as a jet-ski in days, and the odds are low.

They've been making a leisurely peregrination since leaving Los Angeles, safe in the protection of the fake American passports and documents that Nina procured for them, and it's been a pleasant sail along Baja and into the Gulf of California to reach this point. The benefit to having your own houseboat is that you can go as far as you want and sleep wherever you please, as long as the fuel is topped up and the bilge is pumped out, and Fedyor is quite enjoying the nautical, nomadic life, as long as it doesn't come paired with sphincter-clenching terror and extremely high odds of freezing to death. He has had enough of that and then some, thanks very much.

They periodically come ashore for provisions at little Mexican seaside stalls selling vine-fresh produce and practically-still-twitching cuts of meat, where Ivan barters in his rudimentary-but-functional Spanish and they usually end up with some beer or chocolate thrown in for free since the elderly proprietress thinks they're such nice boys. (When it comes to Ivan, the jury is still decidedly out, but at least he is usually on his best manners.) And now they get to enjoy it: just them, the sun slowly going down in a riotous blazon of red and gold out west, dyeing the sea a brilliant metallic sheen like the road to El Dorado. They are presently sipping green-glass bottles of Mexican Coca-Cola, which they have been told is far superior to the American version, and somewhere off in the distance, they can hear a scratchy transistor radio playing salsa music. But here, still, their kingdom is private and sacrosanct. Perfect.

"See," Fedyor says at last, snuggling up close and putting his head on Ivan's shoulder. "This was absolutely worth abandoning your miserable freezing Soviet hovel."

Clearly the answer to this is yes, but Ivan is Ivan, and therefore cannot agree too quickly or unqualifiedly. Instead, he gives Fedyor a surly look and takes another sip of Coke. "It is... an improvement, yes."

"Master of understatement, that's you." Fedyor toes the plastic bag closer and pulls out the freshly made, cornhusk-wrapped tamales that they acquired earlier. He takes one out and helps himself to a big bite, and Ivan, after his usual suspicious sniff that precedes any taste of foreign food, follows suit. This is likewise miles better than tinned beans, ancient caviar, and bread that could be used as a hockey puck, and Fedyor chews in deep contentment. Then he swallows, gets up, and offers Ivan a hand. "Come on, let's take a stroll."

Ivan eyes him as if a walk along the beach at sunset is possibly too romantic and therefore must be a trap, but finally shrugs and gives in. So they get up and amble along the shoreline, fingers loosely linked and runnels of emerald-green saltwater periodically soaking the ragged fringe of their shorts. The day was hot enough that plenty of warmth still lingers in the water, and Fedyor grabs Ivan by the arm and pushes him straight into the next wave. Taken completely off guard, Ivan splutters, swears, disappears altogether in the break, and emerges soaking wet and looking like wrathful Poseidon. "You -- Fedyor Mikhailovich, you little -- I am going to fucking kill -- "

Fedyor giggles like a mischievous child and sprints away, as Ivan gives hot pursuit, catches him up, and pushes him into the water in turn. Of course this ends up with wrestling, and this ends up with pushing, and this ends up on their backs in the wet, shell-flecked sand, rolling over and over, uttering curses that would shock any local who happened to understand Russian, and finally comes to a halt when Fedyor pins Ivan down and kisses him thoroughly. Ivan kicks, flails, mumbles, grumbles, and otherwise registers his protests at being forced to endure this terrible indignity, but does not actually do anything remotely related to pushing Fedyor off. Instead, he kisses Fedyor back just as vigorously, and when they finally break apart due to getting an unexpected faceful of another wave, he sighs in deep resignation. "You live to annoy me, don't you, Fedya?"

"Something like that." Fedyor wriggles down hard, slow, and deliberately, causing Ivan to groan again for a different reason; their dripping-wet clothes leave little to the imagination. "But you love it."

Ivan sighs again in abject martyrdom, but the smile is still lingering on his lips, his eyes, his face, his entire soul, and it shines brighter than the golden inferno of the sky. "Yes," he says, half to himself. "Yes, I do. I do."

[depvotee]

I know it’s a lot but if you like and it’s not too much of a bother would you please do all numbers for Jason from the Deputy questionnaire? 👀 I‘m curious about him

BUCKLE UP BUCKAROO!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Okey yknow what? lets make it a pt1 and pt2 bc this is gonna be HUGE if i dont.

1. What’s their name?

Jason Hale

2. How old are they?

37 years old by 2018.

3. What’s their style like? (Clothing style, hats, gloves, masks, etc.)

Jason is all about practicality and it shows throughout his outfits on all regions, he wears a tank top on John's, a bomber jacket on Faith's and a turtle neck on Jacob's, altho he always wears bulletproof vests ans gloves.

Even before the collapse, he wears denim and logo shirts, the wackier the logo on the thing and the more 'I came from a wack gift shop beside the road" is the more he likes it. Of course, he's also not against plain ole shirts.

4. What type of weapons do they prefer?

Living is such a rural place like Hope County it's basically a 'must know' the handling of guns. So, he prefers shotguns, especially his own, its called lemon pie, he has another shotgun but that's more in case of emergency thing since it was his mother's, it's hidden near his house. He also knows how to use handguns.

Jason doesn't like the smell of powder that it leaves on the hands, so he always procures to wear gloves.

5. What’s their outfit (transportation) like?

This big pick-up patrols but since he was suspended, he uses his old beat-up car, she old but she's been through thick and thin with the Hales. She lasted 20 years, so, she may last 20 many more.

6. Do they like what they do? (Deputy, Cultists, totally non-partial bystander just waiting for the chance to shoot someone, etc.)

Deputy, he basically helped train other younger deputies, he went out of town but since he's back, Jason asked for his job back... But he was recently suspended :)

7. What are their thoughts on the cult?

Wack jobs, he cannot understand why they'll go into it or why not go back home. Well, imagine this dude's face when his best friend forever and ever, used to do grown-up pajamas with was a key part. (and that doesn't even begin to cover it)

8. What’s their first thought when they took the first step in Joseph’s chapel? Alt: What’s their first thought when Joseph announced to go out for the reaping?  

Creeps. Nothing but the creeps.

9. How do they feel about the preppers?

The OTHER wackjobs in town. But well, they got the best shelters in case of anything right?

10. How about Dutch? Do they get along with?

Father figure. Jason is one of the last people Dutch considers that care about him, Dutch used to be a hunting partner with Jason's mom, so he basically saw him grow up. (I've got more story abt this that also involves Dutch wife but I wanna write that at more length later on.)

The thing is Jason goes to take a look at Dutch every now and then. Also might or might not take him out of trouble with the Sherrif's department.

11. First thoughts on the Seed family?

He wasn't so sure, he'd only ever met Jacob previously, it wasn't until Jacob asked him to come to church with him that he got the first taste of the Seeds. It wasn't pleasant but not something he quite could've put his finger on why. Jason just mark it as maybe not begin used to going to church or something. Needless to say, Jacob got the memo and hanged outside the church.

12. What’s the region they feel most connected to? 

Whitetails, he leaves near the place, it's quiet, he has been most of this life there riding dirt bikes with friends long gone out of state or stealing his mom's car to go into Falls End for a Midnight ride and his sister tagging along.

13. From the GFH/FGH which one they get along with the most?

Nick Rye and Grace. Nick is Jason's best friend begin the same age and also stuck on Hope's they quickly made it not only work but genuinely liked each other, they're were joined by the hip.

Grace is also a long-time friend of Jason, he's one of the few people she's able to open up fully. Jason says Grace is a great comedian but folk as yet to see her tell one.

14. From the Police department which one they get along with?

Whitehorse and Hudson. Whitehorse was in the same slot as Dutch, which he also saw Jason grow up, but Whitehorse takes a more "disciplinary" figure, he cares deeply about Jason and his future, he wanted him to be Sheriff since that basically settle him for life that until Jason left town, which in turn made him furious. He still ofc cares abt him.

As for Hudson, she was Jason's brightest you could say, she has teeth for the job and has a head on her shoulders. Jason respects her but also knows although very capable, she's doesn't have everything figured out.

15. From Fall’s End which person they get along with?

Mary-May, Jason used to be pals with her dad. Later became more friends with her, they used to play at arcades or look at old discs and trade some vinyls. Sometimes Jason will distract her while Nick messes with the jukebox

[quillyfied]

Alright, folks, I stayed up ludicrously late last night plotting this out and finishing the playlist, and I am sorry to say that the rest of this AU has done exactly what I didn't want it to do and become something of a Hallmark movie starring Hugh Grant, but we do the best we can with the brains we got. Seven more chapter installments below the cut, and a link to the finished playlist at the end (on YouTube because I'm a curmudgeon). It got long. Help.

(And, because it needs to be said: I would LOVE to write this and give it the love and devotion it deserves, but alas, I'm short on time and energy; I might write it in full one day, but if anyone wants to take anything here and run with it, you have my blessing, and drop me a link so I can read it XD)

SO, WITHOUT FURTHER ADO: The rest of Jukebox Hero, the Tiny AU That Could:

Part Four: You Might Think by The Cars (side note that the lead singer for this band looks like a weird mashup of Neil Gaiman and my dad, both circa 80s-90s, which hecks with my brain but what fun). To Crowley's delight, Aziraphale is not a serial killer or a creep, just a guy with questionable fashion taste and an apartment over a used bookstore that might possibly hold more books than the store itself. In the morning, Aziraphale takes Crowley to breakfast at Tracy's diner and shows him the community center, kind of the catch-all building for this tiny town, homeless shelter and rec center and library and movie theater and prime hangout spot all in one. Aziraphale is showing Crowley around, introducing him to folks whose names he instantly forgets in favor of his own nicknames, when he hears some poor guitar getting murdered in one of the multipurpose rooms and goes to investigate. The guy trying to teach a group of kids, about twelve, how to play guitar clearly never took more than few lessons himself, and it offends Crowley's ears. Poor Newt, Aziraphale sighs, but he's the best they've got as far as music teachers go for programs for the kids. Well, that won't do, Crowley grumps, and forcibly takes the guitar from Newt's hands and kicks him off the chair without actually kicking him (but only just). The kids watch in silence as Crowley tunes the thing, then their jaws drop when he drops a shredding riff that to Crowley sounds out of practice but to a kid with a curly mop of hair in particular, seems like the most amazing thing he's ever heard. Crowley introduces himself, isn't surprised when none of the kids react, learns their names and that collectively they're called the Them, and gives them an actual guitar lesson. Feels good, Crowley thinks, but does not say.

You're very good with them, Aziraphale notes as the Them scatter to their parents for supper. Kids are easy, Crowley shrugs, you just show them that you actually know something they don't and promise to teach them and they'll follow you anywhere. Aziraphale laughs, and sighs, and over dinner he lets it spill that the community center is in a little bit of trouble, with a developer working to try and buy the building and the land so they can destroy it and put in a department store. Would completely ruin all of the local shops, Aziraphale says, with vitriol, and then he sighs and sort of melts and figures Crowley doesn't want to hear his small-town drama, he procured a map of the area should Crowley need one for wherever he's going next.

Crowley sits back, and looks around, and shrugs, because he has nowhere else to be, and the kids were fun. He might just stick around. It niggles at the back of his mind, the thought that the community center might go up, and he hasn't even been in town for a full twenty-four hours. But there's something about the way Aziraphale droops about it...maybe it's crazy, but Crowley's done crazier. He can stick around, he says, and grins when Aziraphale offers his couch for the foreseeable future.

Part Five: We're Not Gonna Take It, Twisted Sister (HOW AM I GONNA DO AN AU ROOTED IN 80S HAIR METAL AND NOT INCLUDE THIS BANGER?). Crowley over the next few weeks gets to know the town, gets to meet the developer looking to muscle into town (verdict: wanker, too many teeth, who wears purple contact lenses anyway), gets to form relationships with a lot of locals and the Them and their friend Warlock and eventually an idea starts to form: charity concert featuring the talents of the town, fundraiser to garner the cash and the petition signatures to save their little community center. Outreach with some of the other small towns who might want a larger center to host their events in, the Them get to debut their rock band Crowley is definitely not helping them form in Adam's garage, other odd talents around town get a showcase, like Madam Tracy's medium act and RP Tyler's surprise flower arrangement talent, everyone wins. Aziraphale keeps looking at Crowley in a certain Way and it's making him feel a little high off the validation, like he's actually doing something with his life.

The developer can't stop the townsfolk's efforts to save their little center, but he CAN show Crowley that he knows exactly who Crowley is and that his...call them past indiscretions...aren't without consequences even now. How many parents would still let him teach their kids if they knew who he really was? Crowley's coasted by on brushing people off if they happen to ask, but he remembers those ugly headlines, the tabloid schlock, the true stuff. Does Crowley really think he's gonna help anybody like this?

Adam and the Them happen to overhear part of this conversation, and decide their mentor requires their assistance, so they're gonna take care of the problem. Unfortunately for Crowley, while he's been a great music teacher, he's been just as good at imparting his ingrained distrust of authority and Sticking It To The Man and some of his more rowdy teenage antics, and it's only luck that has Crowley, on his way to meet Aziraphale for dinner, happening to see Adam and Warlock and the Them sneaking off to the hotel where the developer parked his ostentatious silver Lexus with a carton of eggs and a package of Oreos. He's not in time to stop the developer's car paint from getting mangled, but he's in plenty of time to kick the kids in the pants and get them out of there, only to get caught by the local cops holding the bag and arrested. Oops.

Part Six: I'm A Creep, Radiohead (I know, 90s, but live with it). All things considered, Crowley never admitted to the vandalism, but neither did he reveal who did it, and the consequences are relatively tame, a fine he can pay easily enough and a few hours of community service. The damage to his reputation, however...little less salvageable. Surely everyone sees now he's a bad influence, a party guy, no sense of responsibility, and he can't bring himself to face anybody about it--not the kids, not his friends around town, certainly not Aziraphale, who was already hurt when Crowley didn't show up for dinner and more so when Crowley refused to really speak to him afterwards. Crowley is packing up his car to just leave (or, rather, to live out of while he does his community service and then leave immediately after, he doesn't have the best lawyers in the biz anymore) before he does more damage or drags anyone else down with him, because that developer was right, of course he was, when he realizes he left his guitar at the community center, and...well...he kinda needs that.

Part Seven: People Just Ain't No Good, Nick Cave and the Bad Seeds (more 90s and something slow and sad, WHAT??). It's late, Crowley lets himself into the community center, and hears someone practicing piano. Nobody should have been in the building at this hour, and Crowley didn't even know they had a piano, but he's hearing it, and hearing someone singing. Whoever it is, they're good, mellow deep voice and soulful elocution, and Crowley can't help himself, he's gotta know where it's coming from. So he follows the sound, and surprise surprise, it's Aziraphale, sitting at a piano and singing. Aziraphale never mentioned he could play, never volunteered a talent for the charity concert, and Crowley probably shouldn't be hearing him now, he has his guitar and can just leave, but something about the whole thing...it guts him. So he puts on his guitar and plucks along a little accompaniment, which startles Aziraphale, but neither of them stop playing until the song is done. When it is, Azirpahale sighs, asks Crowley what he's doing there. Crowley has never answered that question honestly in his life, but he does now, lets it all come spilling out--something about Aziraphale prompts that honesty from him, and when Crowley is done spilling his poisonous guts about the baggage of his past and the mess of his present, Aziraphale tells him a story, about a young man with stars in his eyes and a dream to play piano, but he was just never quite Enough. So he gave it up, and instead spent his life in some tiny backwater far away from where he grew up, trying his best to be Enough--handyman, librarian, community pillar, go-to guy for things that need doing around town and what he couldn't do, he knew a guy who knew a guy. It's a raw and quiet moment, there in the dark of the community center way past opening hours, and Crowley, sitting backwards on the piano bench next to Aziraphale, nudges him with his shoulder and tells him that from where Crowley's sitting, most people suck, but Aziraphale's one in a million. Aziraphale huffs, nudges Crowley back, and says, well, from where Aziraphale's sitting, Crowley's the best of all of them. For now: they're okay. They're gonna be okay.

Part Eight: Juke Box Hero Acoustic (think of it like a reprise). Things may be patched up with Aziraphale, but even his support and cajoling can't quite erase Crowley's anxiety about driving kids to vandalism over some expensive-suited prick's comments about Crowley's past, so he's planning on sitting out for the charity concert. The judge made it clear in no uncertain terms that Crowley's community service is to be done by prepping for the concert, so he's building sets and managing lights and doing things he always saw Luci and other producers and stage managers taking care of, but no amount of shiny-eyed kid-wibbling is gonna make him pick up a guitar again except to show Adam where his fingers need to be for a particular chord. Besides, twelve is too old to wibble, and it's NOT gonna work, no matter how good Brian is at it. Besides, they've got plenty of acts, and folks from all over the place are streaming in to see the show, Crowley and Aziraphale both have their hands full fixing the place up as best they can while the rest of town gets a spit-shine in preparation for the event.

The night of the concert, one of the acts bails, Wensleydale has food poisoning, and Adam and Warlock and Pepper and Brian are heartbroken. Aziraphale looks at Crowley. The kids look at Crowley. All the people who depend on the community center for one service or another start looking at Crowley.

Crowley grits his teeth, picks up his guitar, and makes his way to the stage.

To Crowley's enormous surprise, there's a banner with his name on it, and when it goes up during the block that was supposed to belong to the act that bailed, the packed community center auditorium EXPLODES with cheers. He sees some of his old tour shirts out in the crowd. There are lighters in the air already. There's Madam Tracy whipping what looks uncomfortably like a bra around in the air as he takes the stage. He takes a deep breath. He puts his fingers on the strings of his guitar. And the cheers almost overwhelm the sound system when he starts to play.

He plays harder than he ever did to this little community center than he did for stadiums full of thousands of people chanting his name. He plays one song. Then two. He makes room for Adam and the Them, with Aziraphale at Wensleydale's keyboard, and Crowley and Aziraphale do an encore together, and it's FUN. It's more than fun, it's the exact reason why he started playing--he can see it in Adam's face, in Warlock's, in so many faces in the crowd, in Aziraphale's. He plays because like this? He's the hero. He's on top of the world. They all are.

Part Nine: We Are The Champions, Queen (duh). In short: the community center is saved, and Crowley's career gets a surprise revival in the form of Anathema Device, a cutting-edge music producer looking for exactly what Crowley is offering: talent, nostalgia, and redemption. She leaves her card, and as the stage pieces are being broken down and confetti is being swept up, Aziraphale settles next to Crowley, sitting on the edge of the stage, and asks him what's next. Crowley looks at the card, tucks it in his pocket, turns to Aziraphale, and pulls his face in for a sweaty, victorious, tender sort of kiss.

Part Ten: Faithfully by Journey (take it home, 80s). Crowley moves off the couch and into Aziraphale's flat on a more permanent basis. He still performs, makes music, flies back and forth and goes on tour, but he's not as addicted to the stage and chasing the fame like he was when he was younger. He doesn't let the music industry become a bigger part of his life than the music itself--and he doesn't ever, ever forget where home is, and how to call it a night and get back there. Crowley's maybe more popular now than he was a decade ago, but with Aziraphale at home and the Them about to be off on summer vacation and a calendar of events at the community center, his prime touring season already looks a little full, sorry, folks.

(And for the first time, Aziraphale is Enough, and Crowley is Home.)

Jukebox Hero Playlist. Hopefully that link works.

Bonus Tracks (not in the playlist currently but could be later if anyone asks):

- Pour Some Sugar On Me, Def Leppard

- Every Rose Has Its Thorn, Poison

- Like A Prayer, Madonna

- I Love Rock and Roll, Joan Jett

Thanks for reading, sorry for the length, maybe this'll get written one day, maybe it won't, I don't know! You're welcome to give it a shot yourselves if you want!

Today’s tiny GOmens AU brought to you by the song Jukebox Hero by Foreigner

Crawly is a down on his luck punk kid who happens to overhear a rock concert, first ever in his small town, and it changes his life forever. Years and a name change later, Anthony Crowley is on a meteoric rise to fame, convinced he won’t stop, he can’t stop, he has to stay on top, but the thing about meteors is…

…they fall.