#he's my second favorite character in the franchise. he deserves a chance.

[physalian]

Character Types: Schemers

Saltburn was one of those pure shock value movies, putting spectacle above rewatchability, imo, but that moth monologue was great, and it’s all about how the protagonist is a schemer. Reminds me of Squidward’s accusations to Plankton in The Spongebob Movie and I mean that with 100% sincerity.

Schemers probably need no explanation, but these are characters that sacrifice a couple battles to win the war, these are the quiet ones who come out of nowhere in the last lap. If they’re villains, they’ll probably botch it, if they’re anti-heroes, they’ll probably eek out a victory, but these types usually aren’t full-blown heroes as “scheming” is seen as unheroic, but more on that at the end.

So! I’ve collected a couple of my favorites, because this time I haven’t written one to gush about worth spoiling to hell and back (but I do have one, and he’s campy as hell).

The Villain Schemer

Starscream

Top of the list is, to no one’s surprise if you follow me, Starscream. Specifically the iteration in Transformers Prime as I know that one the best and that show has some of the best character work in the franchise.

Starscream is forever second-best to his Lord and Master, Megatron. He’s second-in-command to the entire Decepticon contingent, a former Energon Seeker (a title which only he cares about and thinks it’s cool as the group went defunct before Cybertron went dark), and is quite like a cockroach. Somehow, he just keeps narrowly escaping death.

Despite everything against him at one point, low on fuel, no friends, no allies, barely a shot in the giant fetch quest to the finish line, he catches a lucky break and manages to fool the Autobots, sneak right past their defenses to steal all the MacGuffins, and then leverages and silver-tongues his way back into the good graces of the Decepticons.

Schemers are usually not physically strong, as to have both a skilled fighter and tactician in one character is OP (and leaves the argument open of why you’d be a schemer by choice if you can Punch Things to solve your problems). He only uses his guns maybe five or six times in the whole show. This version of his design is very sleek and slender. He prefers to use his claws or his wrist-rockets (he transforms into a fighter jet). Back him into a corner and he’ll probably try to either fly away, grovel for mercy, play himself up as weak and defenseless and thus a pathetic and unjust kill, or be completely unaware of how screwed he is and get his ass beat.

He’s got variety.

Starscream’s big thing though is his ego, the fatal flaw of most schemers. He thinks he’s better than everyone else, even when he’s t-cog-less and unable to transform, crawling around in the dirt scrounging for energon once he’s gone rogue. Every chance he gets, he’s either fluffing up his scant accomplishments, trying to undermine Megatron, or trying to prove how loyal he is to Megatron, and the Big M allows this because… it’s entertaining, I think.

Yet, miraculously, this mech always survives. He outlives Megatron at least thrice in this show alone. He always either has a backup plan, has a secret weapon, or is able to just weasel out of capture or execution. He’s an idiot, but he can also be incredibly clever, using Autobot mercy against them a la “you wouldn’t shoot a defenseless prisoner” or “you wouldn’t leave a bot to die even though we all know I deserve it”.

And on top of all that, he’s just really funny. Whether it’s his exaggerated movements, like how his wings will flap when he’s excited, or the one time he dances pretty provocatively in front of his whole crew chanting “All Hail Starscream” after one of Megatron’s deaths. Or when he’s his own worst enemy, getting himself into sticky situations because he just can’t let anyone else have the last word.

Plankton

Another funny schemer is the aforementioned Plankton, in a show that’s a whole lot less dramatic. Whenever he’s in an episode he’s whipping up yet another convoluted plan to steal the Krabby Patty formula, but while he can be mean and a little cruel with his insults, nobody hates Plankton. He never wins, his failures are funny, and Krabs is kind of a dick. Sometimes, you’re even rooting for him.

Maven Calore

On the complete opposite end of the humor scale, there’s Maven, from the Red Queen series. Yet another wimp both physically and magically, Maven is the second-born to the throne, who, at first, actually seems like he’s not out to steal it from his older brother like Claudius in Hamlet.

But of course….

Maven, like another character on this list, is a master of social engineering. His most famous line in the series is, “The truth is what I make it. I could set this world on fire and call it rain.”

He fools everyone, even the heroine and his brother, more than once into thinking he’s redeemable and in the third book, he and the heroine spend quite some time together where she’s trying desperately to find any shred of a decent man inside him, while he proves again and again that that man died when he was a kid, abused out of him by the queen, and that he’s not even mad about it, it’s just who he is, and she should really stop trying so hard to fix something that can’t be glued back together.

Maven is one cruel fucker, too, either orchestrating or permitting the deaths of quite a few major characters along with everything he does to the protagonist. He’s a fascinating look into the “I can fix him” trope and what it does to the people who have been convinced that it’s their duty to continue suffering abuse for the sake of family or kinship.

I wish this series was more popular, I only know one other person who read it, and they recommended it to me.

Loki

Gonna stick him here because there's just so many versions of this mythological figure, dating back literal centuries. Marvel's Loki is... a hot mess of inconsistencies. So, in general, Loki is at best, occasionally helpful if it also serves his own interests, but he's usually depicted as an obstacle. Honorary mention because everybody knows who he is.

The Anti-Hero Schemer

Lelouch vi Britannia

I get to gush about Code Geass finally, yay. But first, an honorable mention to Light Yagami (a full villain schemer). Didn’t like Death Note and don’t remember it well enough to properly comment on all of Light’s schemes but he’s not even an anti-hero, he’s a straight-up villain protagonist. People just mistakenly thought that Light and Lelouch were in any way comparable… and they’re not.

Apologies, Death Note fans. I don’t like your man.

Lelouch vi Britannia is the protagonist of Code Geass, a mecha anime probably most famous to anyone who doesn’t know it for the Pizza Hut ad campaign and “why are you buying clothes in the soup store?!”

His whole story is revenge on and the toppling of the Britannian empire and its emperor, his supremely assholeish father, who got his mom (the queen-consort) killed and shipped him and his only full-blooded sister off as political prisoners to Japan.

Lelouch is… a beautiful, smart, dumbass. He’s hyperbolically unfit, winded even by climbing a short staircase (like I said, schemers are usually wimps), but a brilliant military strategist and tactician. But above all else, he’s a master at social engineering.

On top of Code Geass being a mecha anime, it’s also got a whole supernatural lore about “geass” an ‘absolute’ superpower held by a couple different characters of the show, and Lelouch’s is absolute obedience. Whenever he geasses somebody, if it is within their power or knowledge to accomplish or provide, they are compelled absolutely to follow his command. With the massive caveat being that he can only use it on a person once in their lifetime (until shenanigans ensue).

Lelouch’s whole story is about gaining social power over his opponent, starting from basically nothing as he’s moonlighting as a high school student of vaguely noble standing. If anyone figures out that he’s actually a prince, his whole plan goes belly up. Why? His plan is to ignite a rebellion in Japan against Britannia, by creating a masked vigilante, Zero, the Man of Miracles, a man of the people, definitely not a blue-blood prince of the enemy. So ensues two seasons of absolute insanity as Lelouch’s rebellion unfolds and collateral damage collapses around him.

Lelouch is his own worst enemy. His ego and arrogance constantly bite him in the ass and he loses constantly, which, to me, is what made him far more likable than somebody like Light, who always won. He’s not above sacrificing a few for the needs of the many, even when those few are people or relatives of people he cares deeply about. He’s not above using his power of non-consent to get what he needs on anyone, no matter how much he knows they’d hate him if they knew he used it on them. He’s not above lying, manipulating, or tossing people under the bus if it furthers his goals.

But he’s not a villain. While it can be argued, even by Lelouch himself, that Japan and all the members of the rebellion that he helped raise from nothing, were just pieces on his chessboard and meaningless to him, that all he cares about is revenge and not an actual free Japan… he’s lying. Otherwise the show would not have ended the way it did, and it remains recognized as one of the best endings to any anime ever.

Schemer Heroes?

Schemers usually aren’t heroes for one big reason: They’re selfish, and selfishness is unheroic. Even with the best of intentions, like the anti-hero or morally-grey hero, the schemer’s personal goals are always, first and foremost, top priority, and if the group benefits, it’s a happy coincidence.

I’m wracking my brain trying to think of one who would qualify and while there are plenty of schemer protagonists, they’re the antithesis of the hero we’re supposed to root for, and I think it says something about us as a society.

Tyrion Lannister

If he counts, the best one I can think of is Tyrion Lannister (did not read the books, only saw most of the show). He’s yet another wimp** who has to rely on his wits and his smarts to compete and stay ahead in the world once he figures out that his money and his name won’t save him forever. And in the Game of Thrones, you either win or you die.

He does do some shady things here or there, but aside from maybe Samwell, every character in that show has done some morally dubious things.

Honorable mention to Varys, who is absolutely a schemer, but I couldn’t figure out where to put him on this list. And Littlefinger, who’s a schemer villain, but he didn’t stick the landing (thanks D&D). GOT is made up of schemers, really. I just… don’t want to keep giving GRRM free advertising.

**wimp only in that he's not physically abled like the other characters and cannot rely on his skill with a sword, only his words.

—

All in all, schemers take a ton of planning to be written believably, because their wits are their strongest trait. To write a super intelligent character, you really have to have all your ducks in a row so you can show their thought processes and how their plans unfold, instead of only saying “they’re super smart, trust me”.

Even when schemers are cruel, what makes them distinct from annoying assholes is that there’s some part of their character that’s impossible to argue with. They’re right, even if you hate to admit it, about even one tiny thing in the world.

Why? Because they spit in the face of lawful good and evil. They know the good guys have lines they won’t cross, and it will get people killed. They know the bad guys (usually society at large) needs to be stopped, and they might be bad, but either society forced their hand, or they’re not as bad as the alternative.

My schemer in ENNS is just a straight-up asshole, but he knows how to manipulate the heroes to get what he wants and his plan works.

They do have to succeed, otherwise they’re just idiots. They need a few wins under their belts to prove their competence as a proper schemer and not just a guy blowing smoke. Wondering if this will be the time they flop on their face, or wondering what line they’ll cross to escape this time, is what makes them so entertaining.

[purpleheartskies]

Happy Father's Day!... but not to Robby's "father", Johnny Lawrence. He doesn't deserve the honor of that title: "father" or "dad".

You know, in s5e9, Johnny told Chozen,

"My whole life was haunted by one stupid kick. I thought if I could go back in time, do things different, dodge it, block it, my life would be fixed. The kick wasn't the problem. I had to stop focusing on what was behind. Start looking at what was in front of me." [points at Carmen]

Johnny made this decision in s3e10, when he left Robby behind with Kreese and did nothing to make things right with Robby. Robby was in Cobra Kai with Johnny's abuser who had strangled him twice, and Johnny made no attempts to convince Robby to leave Cobra Kai. Instead, Johnny just got impotent over Miguel hanging out with Daniel and was making his favorite dinner to coax him back to him. (Johnny trying to convince Robby in s4e4 doesn't count because Robby is the one who came to him for that conversation, and Johnny didn't even care to really listen to what Robby was saying to him.)

In contrast to Johnny, in s5e9, Robby went to Cobra Kai and took a stand against freaking Silver to make things right with Tory and Kenny:

"I came here to apologize. I let you down. Turned my back on you. I didn't understand at the time but I realize I was wrong. I shouldn't have just left. I should have taken you all with me. Everything you're taught here is bullshit. There is pain in this dojo and it's built upon fear, because this man is not your sensei, he is your enemy. But it's not too late. You're not past the point of no return. And I promise, there's still another way."

Wouldn't it have been amazing if Johnny had done this for Robby when Robby was in Cobra Kai? But, no. Johnny didn't do this. He had decided to "stop focusing on what was behind. Start looking at what was in front of [him]." s5 was even worse for Johnny and Robby and was sad, sad proof that Johnny isn't worthy of being a father/dad to anyone. Silver spoke truth: Johnny will screw up another kid.

In s4e4, Johnny dismissed Robby when Robby told him:

"For as long as I can remember, I've been afraid... afraid that I'm gonna end up like you. But that's not gonna be my fear anymore... because I am better than you."

Johnny once told Miguel that he can be better than Johnny, but Johnny freaking turned Robby away when Robby said that he is better than Johnny. In s5e9, Robby proved once again that he is better than Johnny. Hell, even Dom in Fast X, a ridiculous character in a ridiculous, over-the-top movie franchise with bad writing and retcons galore, has the right idea about fatherhood. Dom said about his son: "Pass it down. Each generation, better than the last... That's fatherhood." and "You will be better than me." Johnny never passed down anything to Robby, other than the generational trauma. Johnny never cared or thought to teach Robby anything. Instead, Johnny replaced Robby with a "second chance" and passed down his legacy to that "second chance". Johnny has been choosing that "second chance" over Robby ever since. In s5, Johnny encouraged that "second chance" to use that legacy against Robby (apartment fight). Johnny's also getting ready for his "third chance", all while continuing to neglect and abuse Robby so that Johnny can feel better about his failures with Robby.

One question for s6 is "Will Johnny ever put his "real" son above his own ego for good?"

[treasure-mimic]

Felt like messing around in photoshop today, so, what started as a want to create some franchise icons for Smash turned into full character mockups, so I put together my 10 most wanted characters for Smash Bros., whatever the next game looks like, and I’d like to post them and talk about them a bit.

Quote is I think my most wanted newcomer to Smash, I really like and appreciate everything Cave Story has done, and I think if you’re talking about indie games, Cave Story has probably had the most influence on the industry. Kids today probably don’t know much of anything about this game, but trust me when I say there’d be no Hollow Knight, no Ori, no Celeste, without Quote.

This one might be a little obvious nowadays, but I am fully behind the Waluigi train. Just one point of contention, I think people undersell his potential by just having him reference different sports games and spin-offs. I think the real play is to come up with a wholly original kit based around being a dirty cheater and trickster with a penchant for explosives.

I’d much rather have Paper Mario than Dr. Mario if I’m being entirely honest with you.

This one’s a bit weird, because I don’t have a huge fondness for Excitebike the game or Excitebiker the character, I’m just enamored with this concept of a fighting game character who fights entirely from the back of a motorcycle. I just think that’s wicked as hell. I’ll take it in whatever form I can.

Metroid Dread is in strong contention for my favorite Metroid game ever, and it did finally give us a character with a body plan and toolkit that lends itself to Smash, outside of Sylux and the Hunters, whom I’m not the biggest fans of. I’ve had some contentious history with the way Smash fans talk about Metroid, so I guess I’ll put it out now that I think if, at this point, you’re not vouching for Raven Beak, you don’t know what you’re talking about.

Love me some DS VNs, Professor Layton I think at this point has the strongest ties to Nintendo and, since Phoenix Wright got to play in Marvel 3, it should be his time to shine, though I wouldn’t be opposed to any of them.

Honestly, every generation of Pokemon there’s a couple of new mons that I think would make sick Smash characters, and will inevitably get passed up for a lame starter. Nihilego deserves a spot, dammit, she’s more plot important than any number of fire/fighting muscleheads. But if we’re shilling for the most recent gen, you can’t go wrong with a giant hammer.

The Heavy is commonly in talks around Smash Bros. wishlists, especially here in the West, but the obvious problem rears its head pretty quickly. He’s a giant, lumbering, immobile mass whose main weapon takes several seconds to start up and then chews through anything it hits. This is my counterproposal, I think the Scout is just as iconic as the Heavy, comes with a lot of fun weapons and abilities, and actually has some mobility. Imagine using a downward Force-A-Nature shot to recover while spiking someone into the blast zone!

This is for sure a weird one, but once the idea came to me I started getting really attached to it. The number of Enderman variants from Minecraft Dungeons gives the Enderman a surprising amount of variance to pull from, and the Ender Dragon could be its Final Smash.

For the final suggestion, this is for sure a “there’s no chance in hell” but also “it would be really funny”. Scorpion, I think, best represents the aesthetics of Mortal Kombat, a ninja with fire, bladed weapons, and the ability to teleport, which centers him more than Sub-Zero who uses ice, Raiden who uses lightning, and Liu Kang who’s just a martial artist. Leaning heavy on the fire aspect is also a good way to nerf MK’s hypergore for a Rated E10+ game, though that really is the central appeal of Scorpion, trying to shove this edgelord into a kiddy cartoon beat-em-up.

[actuallylorelaigilmore]

2023 Movie Journey #5: Ant-Man

ant-man. i loved this movie! it’s just an all-around good time, one of the best franchises in the whole mcu (for me, it’s now my second-favorite, after black panther). 

and the story of me watching this is a fun one: i bought my ticket to see  quantumania before i had ever seen this one or its sequel, presuming based on the cast and everybody i know liking these movies that i had really zero chance of regretting that choice. i just barely squeezed in these movies after buying the ticket--i watched this the night before going to the theater and then i got up early to squeeze the sequel into my morning before i left to see ant-man 3.

because of that time crunch, though, i didn’t fully review these after watching them. i took notes that look more like stream of consciousness bullet points, and now it’s like a year later and i have to make those make sense! lol. here goes.

first off, the action sequences in this movie were way more dynamic because of how it played with the size shifting, and as somebody who desperately needs a reason to care about action sequences, i enjoyed that. they kept it interesting. on top of that, it had so much heist and warmth and fantasy science that this movie balanced the (for me, excessive) action.

i got a full-blown anxiety stomachache during the big heist, because i liked all of the characters and didn’t want any of them to get hurt. special mention here goes out to ant-thony the flying ant: i loved him as soon as we met him, and i also had an instant fear that he wouldn’t survive. thanks, honey i shrunk the kids, for permanently scarring me emotionally as a child. now i am an adult who is terrified of bugs but also has to let them live in my spaces because i cannot kill them. 

scott lang is probably the most sympathetic superhero, though of course that’s subjective. but even though he’s not my favorite (that’s been shuri since black panther), the fact that he only cares about two things in the world when we meet him--and that’s his daughter, and punishing greedy evil rich people and helping those they hurt? just, excellent. this is marvel doing leverage, and i have no complaints.

the graphics of the ants are done really well in this, the cgi wasn’t annoying at all...but they still squick me out. i just don’t like bugs. ant-thony deserved a memorial from scott, though. i didn’t like the feeling that he was replaced by a giant ant pet at the end like all ants are interchangeable. scott had bonded with him! i get that during the action he couldn’t exactly stop and reflect or anything, but either you named your ant friend and you’re genuinely bummed he died, or it’s a punchline and you’ll never think about him again. i prefer the latter.

and like i said, i loved all the characters, but luis’s monologues in the form of attempting to relay important information are the literal best. he is me anytime i try to tell a story. ”i just get excited and stuff.”

my one character exception is the guy played by bobby cannavale, because i just had no use for him, lol. in fact, i didn’t even realize it was him! i kept thinking bobby cannavale’s character looked kind of like bobby cannavale, but not actually like him, through most of the movie--until i was looking something else up and saw his name in the cast. scott’s daughter was great for lots of reasons but her total unimpressedness with bobby cannavale delighted me because i felt the same way.

i thought they handled making scott and hope romantic very well. the actors have good chemistry so i was rooting for them, but the push/pull between  antagonistic and flirty is difficult to do successfully, and they could only move things along so much from her open resentment towards him in the beginning to them being a team by the end. this was too lighthearted a movie to spend much time on Them, so just nodding to it and then making jokes and moving along felt right. 

also i loved that anthony mackie was in this. i’m really not familiar with his character, i saw age of ultron but barely remember it, and i double checked--i’ve never seen any other mcu movie sam is in. BUT i do know the actor, from the hate u give and elsewhere and he’s excellent. so he was a cool choice of character to include and it gave me a nice way to see a little more sam.

the end bits were neat, too. i really love that in hope, they created a genuinely strong female character--not always nice, in fact sometimes an asshole...aka a real person just like male characters are allowed to be. so it felt earned when she realized her father was finally going to work with her at the end. 

and while i find it annoying, as a mostly non-viewer of mcu movies, to have bits with totally other characters and worlds shoved in after the film is over to weave the worlds together and try and make you care about it all...i adore anytime a movie is like ‘X will return’ because when i enjoyed the movie, it’s like a little concluding gift to promise me more--i was really happy when shang chi did the same. 

in the end, my biggest takeaway from this movie is that it is a rare crowd-pleaser. this is one of those movies that, when you’ve managed to avoid watching it for eight years and everybody is eager to tell you how great it is, you can feel a little suspicious of the hype. but it IS that good! as soon as i saw it, i showed it to the one person i knew who hadn’t already seen it, and despite her doubts going in, she also loved it. 

so i can recommend this one to almost anybody, and i wish more movies like this still got made, that are lovable for broad audiences. (i get that marvel movies in general make obscene amounts of money, but i certainly don’t care about most of them, so that’s not what i mean. i want more action movies that make an effort to appeal to people besides action fans. clearly it’s possible!) 

if you have a serious aversion to ants, i would probably advise you to steer clear. but if you like thievery or dads and daughters or michael douglas or a brisk romp with science, this is a really great movie.

[xoteajays]

I should eventually have conversations with you privately, instead of constantly spamming you messages through your inbox like this...

Yeah.. I don't know how dark, evil, or deranged Nijiro could be with his characters. I know Chishiya was deranged in ways, but he was known to outsmart his enemies rather than kill them. Not including Niragi.

But I am curious if Nijiro could pull that off for any character though.

This is why I get upset with live adaptions. I know, I know. Maybe I'm one to complain too much about details.. But this is why I do get way too upset over live adaptions. I'm nitpicky to the tiniest detail there is.

Dori as Niragi had an intimidating appearance. Tall, unusual clothing, body modifications. But also sadomasochistic in ways where he does not care about anyone and anything. When I think of the personalities of Niragi and Baji.. Baji is violent whenever he wants to be to whoever to harm, which made me think of the other character to some extent. But they're both intelligent too. Maybe mischievous in darker ways.

Like it was mentioned before. Mikey said that Baji would have set a car on fire because he was hungry, or angry, or any emotion like that. Is that weird that I could see Niragi doing that too? Maybe that's me.

Well.. I'm gonna spoil it anyway. No big spoilers! Naoto Kataoka, he is the actor of Jesse - who doesn't get introduced until the second H&L movie. When he has shaggy blond hair, I could imagine him as one of the characters in Tokyo Revengers. Maybe even as Chifuyu. Maybe.

That's why I get annoyed with live adaptions. On both sides to this whole spectrum.. Canonically stick to the characters ethnicity for the live adaptions. I get angry when they chance the gender, ethnicity, or even sexuality of characters. Like you just said. Tokyo Revengers cast of characters are predominantly Asian. With the occasional character who's mixed, like Emma and Izana. But then there are live adaptions to series like Black Butler and Fullmetal Alchemist where most of the characters are predominantly European, yet has an entire Asian cast. I'm nitpicky about it. This is just my opinion about live adations.

Everyone in High&Low deserves better. And now you know why a lot of these characters are the way they are.. Rocky respects women just because he was never able to help his mother and sister. I might be a bit biased. Rocky's one of my favorite characters. And Rocky's whole interaction with Kizzy. Koo's reaction to finding out Kizzy's trans.

But I also want to slap Rocky for being with that ugly woman who did keep referring to Kizzy as a man, even though Kizzy had operations - Rocky did mention that they Kizzy and Kaito went to American for all the operations to alter everything. Based on Rocky's hand gestures.

I'm neutral towards most of the Mighty Warriors group. I do like Ryu's character, even though he doesn't talk much. I like Jesse too. And I'm also fine with Ice to some extent. But at the same time, I feel like a lot of the Mighty Warriors group doesn't say much about their own pasts for you to be able to connect with them. Like.. Okay. We know they're mercenaries. They love music and fashion. And we know Sarah was a child who came from an abusive family, her father was abusive. But it doesn't really say much about the other characters that much, which, in my opinion, is a bit upsetting to me. I wish they had more story.

Unwanted trivia! The actress of Hikrai Kuina from Alice In Borderland, Aya Asahina, is married to Kenjiro Yamashita. An actor and musician. He portrays the character Dan in the High&Low franchise.

I don't know why I think that's funny. But I do think that.

mikey defo needs an actor that can do that dead/blank-eyed look. for those darker scenes like when he was beating kazutora to death during the bloody halloween or at the end of s2 when he was killing all his friends. chishiya was twisted, but definitely wasn’t as hands-on and dangerous as mikey is.

it’s weird because they said baji was like ‘violent and crazy’ but you don’t? really see it?? like yea he totally beat chifuyu to shit to join valhalla and yea he was a lil nuts during the bloody halloween, but no more than anyone else really. i was expecting a lot more insanity out of him for the build up of ‘baji once set a car on fire bc he was hungry’. let baji go crazy go stupid, like cmon.

ooh jesse does have a vibe. id maybe put him at like a second choice for chifuyu personally, i’ve gotten very attached to reo as chifuyu apparently ahsjdldjdl

i just finished the h&l movie and gee. cobra and yamato really like to solve a season/movie conflict with the power of friendship and fully bursting into tears. not judging, love that for them lmao.

i love kizzy and kaito so much. the little scene of those girls hitting on kaito and he’s just like ‘yea ive got a girlfriend’ and kizzy just coming in like ‘hey 😠 that’s my bf 😠😠’. kaito’s lil smile at her. they’re so cute. i need a webshorts series just about them. i need them to kiss.

i can’t believe that i keep seeing people say they went overseas to get married, it’s even on the fandom wiki. like what do they think rocky’s hand wave meant?? that was clearly a ‘kizzy got bottom surgery’ hand motion. also love koo. he’s great.

murayama got me in a chokehold. i adore him. love when men are a lil pathetic and unhinged. also i need to know how old todoroki is supposed to be bc the murayama x todoroki ship potential is there. there’s so much ship potential just across the board actually with like so many characters. also chiharu shut up and let my boy join sannoh! don’t be mean to him!! he’s baby!!!

the scenes of the whole of sword rolling in and them all fighting alongside each other was just. So Good. just aaaaa they’re all friends actually!!!

mighty warriors are just kinda boring to me tbh. like their theme song is cool. but they’re just kinda meh in comparison to the sword groups. if they had more backstory maybe i’d care a bit more but right now. nothin. bored of em. show me ryu and then get back to the people i actually care about.

[ladysolwind]

This post might be incoherent. I’m very tired but I love media analyzing and my brain is all FE all the time right now.

So, instead of restarting Silver Snow again, I decided to pop Engage back in. Mechanically, there are things I really like about Engage. The Ring system and inheriting skills is nice, chain guarding is a good feature, and I like the addition of daggers, arts, and chain attacks. I have been missing combat arts, but I feel like mechanically it balances out because of the rings.

THERE BE SPOILERS FOR 3H AND ENGAGE BELOW

My preference of Three Houses really stems from the story. Surprisingly, I don’t mean the heaviness of Three Houses vs the cheesy anime nature of Engage, but in the breathing room you get in 3H. Like, Alear doesn’t get a second to really breathe and have any real bonding time with Lumera, while you really get a chance to understand Jeralt and Byleth’s relationship. You get to see Jeralt’s lies begin to catch up to him, how despite his misgivings with Rhea, he’s happy to see Byleth actually enjoying new life as a professor. Meanwhile Engage is really hamfisted with “wow I can’t wait to spend time with my mom! We have so much to do togethe-- aaaand she’s dead D:” like... right away. Despite the VAs really going in with Lumera’s death scene, it’s not nearly as impactful as Jeralt’s because we barely know Lumera. Is her quick death intentional in order for the reveal that she isn’t even Alear’s mom be more surprising? Probably.

Also the plot thickens so fast in Engage. We’re balls deep in the war right away. The corrupted are right there immediately after waking up. Alear has no breathing room. Meanwhile Byleth really gets a chance to settle in and become close with the other units before shit hits the fan. Like after the tutorials, everything is a sprinkle of information in 3H that builds up on new information bit by bit, or sets up something to parallel after the time skip. Meanwhile the story of Engage feels hollow, the antagonists lack concrete motivation, and each chapter moreso feels like a vessel to introduce a new ring and provide fanservice. Yet I think that’s the point. Engage isn’t about the story, it’s about loving the series as a whole and, even though a lot of the new characters look neat and are plenty likable, it’s not so much about them. It’s about the nostalgia and providing likable foils to old characters.

I mean, I like Shadow Dragon more than most fans do, and that has less story than Engage to dissect, so who am I to fault Engage on this front?

Okay, this is where I admit I’m a bad fan. I have never played 4-10. Shadow Dragon was my first game, since my gateway into the series was being a Marth main in Melee as a kid. From there I did play 1-3, then New Mystery, and Awakening. After that I played every game more or less upon release. Love seeing Celica and Tiki. I’m good with Corrin, but I don’t like Camilla. She icks me. I like seeing Lucina, and I get a real kick out of Chrom and Robin being in the same bracelet. The house leaders sharing a bracelet doesn’t thrill me as much, and I have no attachment to M!Byleth. Now that I’ve seen more bond conversations, I’m more okay with Marth being how he is. He’s so complimentary of everyone and thinks every character is deserving of all the support and praise, and yeah, that checks.

Point being, my connection to all the other characters isn’t as established. Not to say I dislike them, in fact I really want to go back and play the other games because I really find myself liking Lyn and Soren quite a bit. It’s just that the fanservice feels more hollow, and that’s what Engage is. It sacrifices plot and unit character development because the game serves as a vessel for platforming old favorites. It’s a sampler platter of elements from the whole series.

I guess my conclusion is that it’s really hard to fully compare Engage and Three Houses because they were made to accomplish two very different things despite being from the same franchise, and both succeed on what they’re trying to do. Engage is happy friendship unity and good triumphing over evil. Three Houses, well, who is evil? Who is good? Do right and wrong choices even exist in this game? Not really. There’s a good reason to do every route but decisions in every route that are flawed.

I’m just happy neither game has child units and having to pair every character together. It worked in Awakening, but man was it a drag in Fates.

[annoyed-galaxy]

Billie Lurk and the Outsider are my favorite characters from Dishonored. Without a doubt.

Billie really went to find him, absolutely intent on killing him, but as she made her way through Shindaery Peak, she found out more about the cult and what happened to the Outsider. For me, I just see some motherly instincts kick in for Billie and she just wants to save this kid who was done wrong.

I absolutely LOVE her dialogue with Daud in the end when you have to press him to get him to release the Outsider. Billie is so passionate about this saying that the Outsider never deserved this. That NO ONE deserves this. It's honestly just fucking sweet and heartfelt.

In both endings, where she saves and kills him, Billie does hold the Outsider with care. When he's dying, she eases him onto the ground softly, but it has such a dark tone because her voice is harsh and dark. Because she sees herself as just a killer. And even Daud's soul isn't at peace, cursed to wander the Void forever. But when she saves the Outsider, she lets him lean on her, helps him sit down for a breather and just listens to him speak wistfully amazed at his new life. Then she puts a hand on his shoulder and says "you're free" and he looks at her with just utmost amazement and astonishment in his eyes.

Seriously I love these two because to me, Billie is a badass motherly figure who won't hesitate to kill someone if they touch her 4000 year old former whale god son. She wants the cycle of revenge and death to stop and believes in redemption/second chances.

Dishonored DOTO is my fav game of the franchise and I just love these two so much it hurts.

[taetaespeaches]

“I didn’t think you’d care if I came back.”

yoongi x reader (or oc) genre: angst; fluff word count: 3.2K

a/n: Finally we have some fluff again! I mean, the angst is still here, but we’re getting to a resolution. This drabble is inspired by “this is me trying” off of Taylor Swift’s album, folklore, and it takes place after, “You know that I would ruin myself over and over again for you.” This also includes a hint of crack for some comic relief, and because where Jin and Poopsie go, crack follows. I hope you all enjoy, and thanks for reading! :)) 

STEPPING into your apartment, returning home from work, your eyes scanned the small space with distaste. You dreaded coming home to your empty sofa and your empty kitchen and your very empty bed. Even more so, you hated the disappointment you felt in yourself for letting another person get so close to you that they started to feel like home.

Dropping your bag at the front door, you kicked your shoes off carelessly before making your way straight to the bathroom to take a shower. Your showers had been doubling in length, perhaps in hopes that the heat of the water would scald the past couple months right off your skin. Or maybe it was just to feel something other than the hurt.

It was just two months of your life. Why was it having such an impact? It had only been three days since Yoongi walked out, so you hoped it was just the newness of it all that had you feeling so hollow.

Yoongi was just stopping by the dorm for a change of clothes and then he was heading back to the studio. He had spent three days straight in his studio, not even returning to the dorms after leaving your place. Whereas his fans would probably think he was working hard on the second Agust D mixtape, he was mostly just sulking.

He did what was best right? You said you were ruining yourself over him. He was ruining you. So, he left. He didn’t try to work it out, he left. For you. That way, you would have a chance at happiness with someone else. Someone more suitable for you. Someone who could give you what you deserve.

Walking toward his bedroom with his overnight bag in tow, the sound of his roommate’s squeaky laughter echoed through the hallway. Yoongi was suddenly very thankful for the isolation his studio provided, as he remembered Jin saying his girlfriend was visiting family for a few days so he wouldn’t get to see her right away upon returning to Korea from Japan. She must be back now.

“I don’t care if the whole game and franchise is named after Mario, Yoshi is hands down the best character in the Mario realm, and that’s just a fact,” her ranting sounded through the closed door, Jin interrupting her with overdramatic sound effects. Yoongi’s hand was on the doorknob and he had half a mind to ignore his need for a change of clothes and escape back to his studio before anyone noticed he was there.

“There wouldn’t even be a Yoshi if it weren’t for Mario because there would be no Mario franchise,” Jin shouted back, Yoongi’s motions still stalled as he stood on the other side of the door in disbelief. Fucking Mario? Really?

With a sigh, Yoongi opened the door, clearing his throat to alert the two idiots of his presence. Jin’s head popped up off the pillows, greeting Yoongi with an, “oh, hey,” his girlfriend sitting up from her spot next to Jin on the bed.

“Oh, Yoongi, thank god you’re here,” she exclaimed, Yoongi flashing her a surprised expression. “Tell Jin that Yoshi is the best Mario character.”

“That’s ridiculous and you know it,” Jin shouted with wide eyes, his girlfriend turning to look at him. “Yoshi can be your favorite character, but you can’t argue he’s the best.”

“Why can’t I?” She complained, Yoongi quickly losing all interest as he escaped to his side of the room, separated from the bickering couple by a large bookcase.

“Because it’s not called Super Yoshi, or Yoshi Kart,” Jin informed her. Yoongi hurried around his belongings, shoving some clothes into his bag so he could get back to this studio without being dragged back into the couple’s pointless disagreement.

“You’re so annoying,” she huffed, Jin laughing at her attitude.

Zipping the bag back up, Yoongi started toward the door, anxious to get out of the dorm, away from everyone.

“Aw, but I got you something in Japan,” Jin told his girlfriend. Her silence piqued Yoongi’s interest, for reasons unknown to Yoongi, enough for him to look back. She was looking at Jin with her eyebrows raised as Jin pulled out a Yoshi figure from his pocket. “It’s Yoshi!” Yoongi watched as the girl held back a smile, trying to keep up her challenging glare. “I may disagree with you, but I support you and your poor judgement,” Jin teased the girl, lowering himself onto his knees on the bed.

“I'm in love with you, so you may be on to something with the poor judgement thing,” the girl teased right back, taking the figure before cooing at it. “It’s so cute, thank you,” she told him, Yoongi quickly exiting the room.

Part of him found the two lovers cute. A much bigger part found them annoying and gross. Shoving their love in everyone’s faces. He felt like a bitter old man as he shuffled out of the dorm angrily. Why was it that Jin could manage a relationship? How was it that Jin could have his shit together, but Yoongi couldn't? And Hoseok for that matter. Hell, even Namjoon was seeing someone. Why couldn't Yoongi do the same? Making his way out of the building, you overtook his mind. You would have called him out on being a bitter old man. “Jesus, Grampa Min, stop being so grumpy,” he could hear you saying with a giggle. You’d probably even press a kiss to his forehead, flashing him a warm smile. All anger and bitterness dissipated from his body, leaving him sad and frustrated with himself, even more so than before.

Another addition to the list of things you were growing to hate about your living space: it was cold. Bundled up in a large sweatshirt, baggy sweatpants, and colorful fluffy socks on your feet, you waited in the kitchen for your water to boil. All you wanted to do was have a cup of tea and plant yourself in front of the TV to waste away while watching the next Netflix series in your queue. Your still wet hair only made you colder, a shiver moving through your body, causing you to let out a groan.

You resisted the urge to check your phone. He surely hadn’t texted, and you didn’t feel like dealing with the pain that struck your heart every time you saw no notifications from him.

As you mindlessly played with the ends of your damped hair, a knock suddenly sounded on your door, and your heart dropped into your stomach. It had to be him. No one ever visited you at 6:30 pm on a Thursday night. You thought about not answering it, but when the knock sounded again, you convinced yourself you could be wrong. It could be someone else.

Then you caught yourself hoping it wasn't someone else.

Hesitantly, you opened the door, and if you weren’t so angry you would have cried at the sight in front of you.

Yoongi stood in your doorway, dark circles just as prominent as three days ago, eyes puffy and slightly red, one of his hands shoved into his pants pocket, the other hanging by his thigh as he held onto a bouquet of tulips.

Your eyes lingered on the flowers for a moment, not because you really cared about the gesture, but because the appearance of the man who had always been so composed before now looking so completely broken on your doorstep was almost too devastating for your heart to bear.

His eyes scanned your features desperately, though neither of you spoke. It was hard to find the words.

It felt like minutes passed by before Yoongi finally opened his mouth to say something, though he struggled to get the words out. “Kid, I-” he started, tears forming in his eyes.

“I don’t want your flowers if they come with disillusions,” you told him bitterly, holding onto your anger, despite the bubbling feeling of wanting to wrap him up in your arms.

Your eyes followed a tear as it slid off his plush cheek, the cheeks you adored so much, landing on the side of his hand. “If you want me to lay out all my mistakes right now, I will,” he told you sincerely, the comment taking you by surprise. “For starters, I shouldn’t have left. I should have fought with you, I should have stayed to finish that fight,” he said in frustration, partly to himself.

Maybe the words should have confused you, but you understood exactly what he was saying. For you both to express your frustrations with each other and with yourselves, the fight needed to happen. With Yoongi leaving, you didn’t get to the point of discussion following the anger. Instead, he walked away, as if you weren’t worth fighting with, or for.

“Why did it take you three days to come back?” You asked, a strange mixture of anger and sadness and hope swirling around your stomach.

“I didn’t think you’d care if I came back,” he admitted sadly, wiping his face with the back of his hand to get rid of the tears, the bouquet messing his fringe as it made contact with his forehead. He avoided eye contact, keeping his stare directed to your fuzzy sock-covered feet.

“Of course, I care,” you told him, taking a step back to allow him space to enter your apartment. His eyes followed the colorful fluffy material as you moved aside. “Now get in here so we can fight.”

You barely noticed the quirk in Yoongi's lip as it curved just slightly into the tiniest of smiles. He entered your apartment tentatively, and his presence already made it feel more like home again. You felt certain in that moment that no matter what room he walked into, it would feel like home.

Turning toward you, still avoiding your eyes but raising his gaze to your waist, he weakly held up the bouquet. "These are tulips," he told you dumbly, finishing the statement off with a sniffle.

You stared at him for a moment but he didn't continue. "I know," you finally said.

Another beat went by as you faced each other, a feeling of awkwardness enveloping the room. “They symbolize-" he started, just as the teapot started screaming in the kitchen.

“Hang on,” you told him, rushing to the kitchen to remove the pot from the stove, turning the burner off. For a moment, you thought about sitting in the kitchen for a moment to gather your thoughts, but with a vulnerable Min Yoongi standing just a few feet away, you found yourself hurrying back to him.  

“Sorry, what were you saying?” You asked, Yoongi looking to the side of the room.

“Tulips symbolize-”

"Yoongi,” you breathed out. “I don't care about the flowers right now, what are you doing here?" You cut him off, getting straight to the point.

"I want to fix this," he told you sincerely, lifting his gaze to meet yours.

You shrugged. "And how?" He stared at you for a moment, so you decided to continue. "I'm sick of feeling like I'm not wanted."

Yoongi quickly negated the comment, shaking his head. "I always want you."

"Then why do I feel unwanted by you?" Your volume raised as you asked the question, Yoongi appearing to hold his breath for a moment. Letting it out in a shaky breath, he looked back to your feet. "You say you want me but your actions say different, Yoongi. And you can't tell me how I feel, I feel unwanted."

"I'm sorry," he apologized quietly, lifting his gaze to meet your eyes. "I'm not trying to tell you how you feel, I'm just coming to terms with the fact that I made you feel that way," his voice broke.

"I don't want to hold this over your head, and I don't want you beating yourself up for it," you told him. "I just want you. But if I can't have you and feel good about myself and us, then I need to you to leave and I need you to stay gone." Speaking the words added cracks to your heart, but it also lifted a weight off your shoulders.

"I deal with a lot of shit," he suddenly said, your eyebrows pulling together in confusion. "Mentally. And that mixed with my work- I'm afraid of putting you through hell just because I'm selfish and want you," he told you with tears in his eyes. That’s what he’s afraid of? Putting his burdens on you? "I get so stuck in my head and I was in Japan and all I could think of was you and,” he sighed, looking into your eyes. “Fuck, Kid, I wanted to call you every moment I was gone. But that's for me, what am I giving you?" He shrugged hopelessly.

"You," you told him, your tears threatening to fall. "You're giving me you."

"And what's that worth?" His question shattered your heart. What's that worth?

"Baby, that's worth everything to me," you told him. "When you’re actually giving yourself to me, I feel more like myself. I feel braver and happier and-" looking back at the bouquet in his hands, you asked, "why tulips?"

He stalled for a moment, surprised by the question. "Right now?" Nodding at him, you bit back a grin. A faint smile appeared on his face, scoffing at himself. "Tulips can mean rebirth and forgiveness and true love, and I'm not saying we're in love,” he quickly backtracked. “I mean not yet, but we could be some day, and," he spoke slow but he was lost in his words, panicking over bringing up love, and the sight of him trying to find his way was enough to make you crack a smile. His speech faded out as he watched your face brighten just the slightest bit, a blush overtaking his plush cheeks. "I don't know what the fuck flowers mean, I don't know what I'm doing."

"That much is obvious," you teased, Yoongi letting out a single breathy chuckle at the comment.

"All I know how to do is care about you, Kid," he shrugged.

Tears forming in your eyes at his confession, you shook your head. "Then care about me."

"I'm trying," he told you, staring into your eyes. For a man who usually avoided eye contact, you were surprised by the sincerity he was trying to convey as he held your gaze. "I really am trying."

"I know," you nodded. And he was.  

"I wanted to protect you from me," he added, his orbs scanning your face. "But fuck, Kid, I can't stay away from you." You watched him thoughtfully as he spoke. "But when I saw the hurt in your face-" he paused to compose his emotions. "When you said you thought I left that morning," he shook his head. "That's when I first realized what I was doing to you."

"But you don't have to do that to me," you reminded him. "You don't have to protect me from you, I've told you I'm prepared to be with you regardless of your lifestyle and your work." Yoongi stared at you as you spoke, and you cocked your head at him. "I'm ok with the time apart and the late-night dates and the days where we can only fit a few texts in.”

“But are you ok with me? And everything that comes with me?” He asked. He was really asking, he needed the assurance.

“Of course, I am,” you told him definitively. “I want all of you. You don’t need to wear this mask around me, you don’t need to shield me from you. And you’re not the only one with demons,” you told him. “I want you and everything that comes with you. I’m just not ok with feeling like I'm always about to lose you."

"Baby," he whispered.

"I can't keep being afraid that every time you walk out the door, you might not come back," you whimpered, a tear falling down your cheek. "I need assurance too, I need to know you're in this with me as much as I am with you." Yoongi nodded quickly.

"If you want me here, I'm here," he assured you, sincerity coating his words.

"I want you here," you told him. Yoongi suddenly tossed the bouquet onto the table before approaching you. His arms wrapped around your body before you could react, your arms slowly folding over him, holding him close to you as he buried his face in your hair. You felt a kiss on the top of your head, your body responding by relaxing against his frame, turning your face to nuzzle it against his neck. "I'm sorry for the shit I said," you mumbled against his cool skin, still slightly cold from the night air.

"Don't apologize," he whispered into your hair.

"I didn't mean the mean shit," you added, Yoongi chuckling at the obvious pout on your lips.

"You were hardly mean, Kid," he told you, pulling away just a bit to look down at you with a soft smile, his eyes glistening in emotion.

“Well, I’ll never mean the mean shit,” you said with a small smile.

"I missed you,” he told you as he wiped the fallen tears off your cheeks.

"I missed you too," you whispered. “We were supposed to fight, you know,” you added teasingly.

“That wasn’t a fight?” He questioned in feigned surprise. “We still can if you want,” he playfully responded, his eyes widened humorously.

“You came in here trying to explain flower symbolization and I just couldn’t get mad at you,” you giggled, Yoongi smiling adorably just before pushing his lips to yours, giving you a sweet kiss. Before you could deepen it, he pulled away again.

"Yoshi or Mario?"

"What?” You questioned in utter confusion. “Min, I'm trying to make out with you," you complained with a look of dissatisfaction, Yoongi smiling fondly at the expression. With a sigh, you said, "Yoshi, obviously, what do you think I am, an idiot?" Yoongi laughed fully at the comment, his shoulders shaking as he flashed you that adorable gummy smile you were so obsessed with. "Why?" you asked through a small laugh, "what about you?"

"Honestly, I could not care less," he smiled, now your turn to laugh.

"I love that about you," you told him through your big grin.

"My roommate, Jin, thinks Mario is better," he told you, you raising your eyebrows in response. "I think you should come by the dorm to put him in his place. Maybe meet all the other guys too?"

You smiled widely as you nodded. "I'd love to," you said softly, Yoongi nodding before leaning in to kiss you again. "I mean, for Yoshi's honor," you whispered right before his lips pressed to yours.

"Of course," he giggled against your mouth. Pulling back just slightly, Yoongi stared at you for a moment, his eyes appreciating your every feature slowly, taking his time, as you did the same with him. Wrapping his arms around the back of your neck, he tugged you closer to him to hold you against his body once again. "Jin's a moron but remind me to thank him one of these days," he whispered against your temple.

"I will," you giggled. "But for what?"

"For having his shit together."

[purplepenntapus]

Rating Versions of Harry Osborn: Updated

Wanted to redo this post with a more comprehensive and inclusive list of Harrys

616 Comics: 

Just such a good and complex character. The OG Harry. His relationship with Peter just adds so much depth to every Green Goblin arc because of the inherent conflict of Peter knowing he needs to take down Norman Osborn, but not wanting to hurt or lose his best friend. (If you’ve read Kindred no you haven’t.) He’s still... ugly... I’m sorry 616 Harry... I love you so much but they did you dirty... Some artists do their best with what they have but... I’m not a big fan of western comic style in general so that doesn’t help. Has three failed marriages by the time he’s 30 because he’s gay and deeply closeted.  8/10

Spider-Man the Animated Series (1994):

The Harry plotline in this show reeeeally doesn’t feel earned, because the first time we see Harry having an active role in the show, he asks Peter to move in with him because Norman wants him to have a responsible studious roommate  (a detail from the comics I was EXTREMELY excited to see play out), and Peter comments that they barely know each other. Ultimately they live together for all of one day before Peter decides to move back in with Aunt May. The next time we see Harry, MJ calls him Peter’s best friend, despite the fact that we haven’t seen Peter hanging out with—or even MENTIONING—Harry since the last episode when they were basically strangers. Really it feels like he’s just there to cause romantic drama as the guy MJ graciously settles for when she gives up on Peter. I found the whole goblin plotline kind of boring and lacking in depth.  3/10

Raimi Trilogy:

I was never interested in Raimi Harry until after I started liking and exploring other versions of Harry, because I just thought he was kinda a shit friend. He’s a pretty strong character overall, but his motivations aren’t as obvious. He’s torn between his love of Peter as his best friend, and his bitterness towards Peter for being the man his father wished he was. I don’t think Raimi Harry really wanted MJ, he just wanted to get back at Peter in a way by taking someone that HE loved. However I feel like his characterization kind of sways back and forth between sympathetic and not depending on how he’s written in the scene, and it disappoints me that the thing that gets him to stop tormenting Peter is the butler telling him out of nowhere that Norman died from his own blade, rather than any real character development on his part. 6/10

Spectacular Spider-Man:

I still haven’t watched all of this show because I... can’t STAND this version of Peter... but I’ve watched many clips with this boy and he’s just... so sweet... He only wants to be loved and keeps getting his heart broken. Deserves better. On everything. He deserves a better father, a better best friend, better love interests, everything. I do really enjoy the way they incorporated 616 Harry’s drug abuse into this show with the Globulin Green, it was a very clever way to incorporate that aspect of his character, but tone it down for younger viewers. I’ve watched the scene of him getting “unmasked” as the Green Goblin about a million times it’s very good. 8/10 

Ultimate Spider-Man:

I love him. Most people fear drifting apart from those close to us, so watching Harry struggle with the new and increasing distance between him and Peter as Peter seemingly makes new, “better” friends is downright heartbreaking. Especially when he overhears Sam implying that Peter only hangs out with him for his money which is something he’s clearly experienced a lot. (Seriously Sam what the fuck.) I also love his struggle with Venom throughout the series as a metaphor for his anger and bitterness, it’s never truly gone even when they work hard to remove it. It’s always there to bubble back up under extreme amounts of stress, especially when Norman is involved. (Also this isn’t a Norman review, but USM Norman is the only version of Norman Osborn that has rights and he works hard to be the father Harry deserves.) Had an honest to God meet-cute with Peter like come on???? Its unfortunate how much they cut back Harry’s role in the third and fourth season, I really would have loved to see more of him. Threw a party specifically so he could ignore Peter to his face because he was jealous and I respect that level of pettiness. 9/10

Spider-Man: The New Animated Series

I didn’t think it was possible to create an uglier Harry than 90s Harry but this blonde, fuck-boy lookin creepass came and proved me wrong. Who the FUCK is this?? Doesn’t have any recognizable characteristics of Harry Osborn besides being rich and hating Spider-Man. Also just... look at him. I wouldn’t trust this man anywhere NEAR my drink at a party. #NotMySon -3/10

The Amazing Spider-Man:

He’s okay. I think he has some very emotional scenes and good chemistry with Peter, but it’s dampened by the fact that he wasn’t present in the first film and had to share the second with like two other main plot lines. Ultimately ends up being the least sympathetic version of Harry Osborn because he became the original Green Goblin and killed Gwen, rather than following in his father’s footsteps. That’s not to say he’s a completely unsympathetic character. He has a strong motivator in his fear of death, and I do think the choice they made for his character were interesting and could have developed really well, but they didn’t get the chance since the franchise was dropped. 5/10

PS4 Spider-Man:

ABSOLUTELY ADORE HIM. WISH WE GOT MORE OF HIM. HAVING YOUR EXPECTATIONS OF HARRY OSBORN BROKEN AS YOU SNEAK AROUND NORMAN’S PENTHOUSE AND LEARN THAT HE’S BEEN SECRETLY STRUGGLING WITH A GENETIC DISEASE HE’S BEEN HIDING FROM HIS BEST FRIENDS FOR YEARS WAS -chef’s kiss- GENIUS. PLEASE GIVE US A SECOND GAME WITH VENOM HARRY. 10/10

Marvel’s Spider-Man (2017):

Still easily my favorite version of Harry Osborn. When I first began watching the show I was startled by their decision to make Harry a science genius like Peter because it was so different from their usual dynamic, and many people who aren’t fans of the show point to this as something they dislike. But I actually ended up really loving the decision. It gives a different flavor to Harry in how he reacts to the events of the show and how we interpret his character traits, while still being very inherently Harry Osborn. Harry is jealous of Peter, he loves him dearly, but there’s always this ember of bitter envy ready to burst into anger whenever the plot creates friction between them. This is one of the defining traits of their relationship and in most versions it’s not hard to understand why. Peter has what Harry wants. He’s intelligent, he has potential, and most importantly he’s loved. Peter is the son Harry knows Norman wishes he had, and that creates a wedge between them. Marvel’s Spider-Man changes this dynamic. Harry can easily stand toe-to-toe with Peter in terms of intelligence, and in fact they often work together to create things or solutions Peter couldn’t have come up with on his own. That initial wedge between them isn’t there, creating a very endearing and loving friendship that we know is doomed to sour because it isn’t enough. MSM Harry could be the person Norman wants him to be, and that places the full weight of his father’s impossibly high expectations on his shoulders, always within reach but never quite achievable. So it makes a lot more sense why Peter initially has a low guard towards Norman (as opposed to some other series where Peter seems oddly dismissive of Harry’s justified complaints) and Harry’s own steadfast loyalty to his father. On the surface Norman seems like a perfectly loving parent, he encourages his son, he created an entire school for him when he was wrongfully accused of sabotage, it’s only when you start to dig deeper into their relationship that you see the subtle manipulations and the issues Harry has from constantly chasing his father’s approval. This creates a Harry who is desperate for validation and extremely sensitive to rejection, which colors his relationship with Peter throughout the show. I’m still mad he got nerfed in the second and third seasons because Disney is homophobic. TLDR: I may be biased ... Infinity/10

MCU:

Where is he? Who knows? Man missing in action.  ?????/10

[smokeybrandreviews]

Obliviate

Fantastic Beasts: The Secrets of Dumbledore is surprisingly excellent. I was legitimately surprised by how well put together this movie turned out. It’s a goddamn shame no one went to go see it in theaters because, in all honesty, i kind of want the sequels now. As a trilogy, Beasts is mediocre. The first entry was a good introduction to the world but the second is a whole ass dumpster fire. The third fixes a lot of the issues in the first two but no one knows because no one went to go see the f*cking thing due to circumstances outside of the film's control. Between WB shooting itself in the f*cking foot with it’s support of Amber Turd, Ezra Miller going on a crime spree in Hawaii while having a very public meltdown, and JK Rowling's aggressive transphobia, this movie had no chance. It’s a crying shame because this is easily the best of the Fantastic Beast trilogy and one of the better Harry Potter films, overall.

Queenie is redeemed early on, which was my biggest gripe from the second. She is my favorite character and the way her character was assassinated in favor of plot contrivance was absolute sh*t but that is the beauty of Beasts III; The plot is solid. The writing in this one is the best of the trilogy, doing a fantastic job of weaving several interconnecting plots into one coherent narrative. It does an admirable job of tying loose ends, especially with that Dumbledore stinger at the end of the second, and even goes full-on with the Dumbledore/Grindelwald relationship. Like, they overtly say that they love each other, several times. That last clash between the two was kind of heartbreaking. That aid, the Jacob/Queenie reconciliation was everything. I just wanted my darling Legilimens to get her happy ending because she was so goddamn delightful in the first movie. Jacob, too. Dude is the MVP of the entire trilogy.

Speaking of Jacob, Dan Fogler continues to be the best thing about these films. Alison Sudol will always have my heart as Queenie, but i watch these movies for Jacob and his Muggle shenanigans. Even so, we got some incredibly strong performances from Eddie Redmayne and Jude Law. They rarely disappoint but it’s hard to imagine someone else playing these characters at this point. I really enjoyed Mads Mikkelsen’s take on Grindlewald. It’s straight up Hannibal Lecter with a wand which, and no disrespect to Johnny Depp or Colin Farrell, is easily the best version of this character to date. It boggles my mind how Mads wasn’t the first person tapped to fill this role. Even more surprising was how well Ezra Miller performance as Credence. I don’t know how he kept his sh*t together to film his scenes but dude is really great in the role. He exudes this frailty and rage that you rarely see in this franchise. Beasts III is so well performed, i forgot that this entire production was a whole ass failure during it’s theatrical run.

This movie is so good. It’s up there with the latter Potter films after they figured out how to tell these stories and that’s the real crime here; This third entry gave them the formula. They finally got it right with this one and, because of forces outside of this production, we probably won’t get anymore of them. I would love the other four sequels, only if they are as well put together as this one, but if this is it, i am okay with letting the Beasts die here. There are still a great many stories that can be told and, while i think they did a good job cleaning up the mess left by the first two films, there are still a lot of plot holes that can be explored in later entries. As it stands, Fantastic Beasts III is a solid entry into the Wizarding World, the best of the Fantastic Beasts trilogy, and one of the better Potter films. I don’t think it’s fair that it failed so badly in theaters but i understand why it did. As a film, it didn’t deserve that. As a product of some incredibly problematic entities, it definitely did. If you can reconcile watching this thing with your conscious, i literally flew the Jolly roger to watch it because f*ck WB, Rowling, Miller, and Heard, I'd give it a solid recommendation. If not, i get that, too.

[twistedtummies2]

Top 12 Disney Villains from Kingdom Hearts

So, I found out that next year - 2022 - will mark the 20th Anniversary of one of my favorite game franchises of all time - if not my favorite, period - Kingdom Hearts. I LOVE the Kingdom Hearts series, and obviously this is an occasion to be celebrated. I suppose I could wait the few months until next year actually HAPPENS to do this list, and chances are I will do something for the ACTUAL event when it comes...buuuuut I’m an impatient sod, and there’s no harm in having a celebration before the event in this case, so let’s just do THIS one now. ;)

While there are a few reasons why I love Kingdom Hearts so much, one of the key things about the games I adore is their use of Disney Villains: with virtually every installment in the series, new characters and worlds get introduced, and this means that new Disney Villains get added to the series. Some of them are handled better than others, naturally, but it’s always interesting to see how the universe of KH interprets these classic baddies, and what kind of role they play in the events of the unfolding story of the games. Nine times out of ten, when a new game is announced, my first reaction is to wonder which villains we’ll see return and which villains we’ll see newly introduced. I therefore decided, hey, what better list to celebrate this event than one focused on my favorite Disney Villains from the franchise? Now, I should make it clear I’m ranking the villains AS THEY APPEAR IN KINGDOM HEARTS. This is NOT a definitive list of my favorite Disney Villains PERIOD, it’s just my opinions on how this specific universe handles the characters. I already did a whole month-long list in October of 2020 about my favorite Disney Villains period, so go back through my archives and look at THAT if that’s your concern. :P Having said that, let’s waste no more time! Grab your keyblade and prepare for battle! These are My Top 12 Disney Villains from Kingdom Hearts!

12. Scar.

Once again, the Disney Villain most people seem to name as one of their top five baddies, if not their absolute favorite, gets the short end on a list of mine. I know, I am a blasphemous scoundrel who deserves all kinds of horrible deaths. Truth be told, I used to really dislike Scar’s appearance in Kingdom Hearts II, but over time I’ve come to appreciate this portrayal more. His boss fight is phenomenal - one of the best Disney Villain bosses in the series, and that’s saying a lot - and I also really love how they make the character have impact even after his death, with the second visit to the Pride Lands featuring Simba facing what is apparently Scar’s ghost, haunting the vicinity. I always love it when a villain manages to cause trouble even after they’ve literally died and left the picture: there’s just something about a villain with a legacy that’s wonderful. However, I still have one glaring issue with the character that keeps me from loving him more: his voice. In KH2, Scar is played by James Horan. Now, James Horan is a great voice actor, and he’s done some really impressive work in other games...but for most of KH2, his performance as Scar feels surprisingly flat and at times a bit wooden. It feels like Horan was so focused on doing his best to sound like Jeremy Irons that he lacked the necessary energy the character needed in his vocals. Ironically, he does a MUCH better job during Scar’s boss fight, infusing much-needed passion and villainous glee into his boss battle quotes...but for the main story, his vocals seem unusually drab. I don’t know exactly what happened to cause this, but for me, it’s a BIG letdown and the primary reason why Scar doesn’t rank higher. Here’s my great question: Jim Cummings played a few characters in these games, and he has done Scar a couple of times (including singing part of Be Prepared after Jeremy Irons’ vocal chords went to heckery-feck for a while), so why didn’t they just get HIM to play Scar? A mystery indeed...

11. Randall Boggs.

KH3 was a bit of a disappointment for me, in some ways. The game plays great, and it looks absolutely breathtaking...but the voice acting was scattershot, and its use of the Disney worlds and characters was...far from KH’s finest work on that front. As a result, I feel the story of the game, overall, is kind of a mixed bag: it’s honestly much more interesting when they AREN’T in the Disney Worlds, and that’s not a good thing in my books. The villains, in particular, largely got the short end of the stick: no classic Disney baddies appear at all for the Toy Story and Big Hero 6 worlds, Mother Gothel and Prince Hans are probably two of the worst-managed Disney Villains in the whole franchise, and Davy Jones gets an EXCELLENT boss fight, but his presence in the story is so minimal it really deadens the impact of the character. The ONLY villain who I felt was handled well, in terms of the newly-introduced ones, was this guy: Randall Boggs. Randall is played by J.P. Manoux, who does a pretty decent impression of Steve Buscemi’s voice while, unlike James Horan, clearly bringing a lot of passion and energy to the character. And that’s good, because we hear a LOT of Randall in the game: in the Monstropolis level (which should really be called “Monster’s Inc.” because that’s the only part of Monstropolis we ever visit, but whatever), Randall returns from his banishment after the events of the movie, and actually manages to take over Monsters Inc. itself, turning the machines and the very halls of the place into death traps, crawling with enemies. Throughout the level, Randall delightedly torments the heroes with their future doom; it reminds me a lot of the Riddler or the Joker from the Batman: Arkham games, and the way they would taunt and torment Batman as he made his way through the grim halls of the titular madhouse. Obviously, with this game and this world, things are a bit more lighthearted, but Randall can be legitimately creepy at times, and you tell Manoux is having a ball bringing this slimy, slippery character to life. The only downside to Randall is that he doesn’t get a final boss fight: instead, he sics a giant beast on us and that becomes what we fight. It’s a shame because, based on the movie, we know Randall COULD have made a REALLY cool boss fight, like a more kid-friendly version of Laughing Octopus from MGS4 or something. Still, he has more presence and impact than the other villains in the game, and he’s a lot of fun while he’s around, so I personally think the lack of a boss - while disappointing - is a forgivable sin in HIS case.

10. Rinzler.

Rinzler is interesting for one key reason: he is a villain who used to be a hero. Rinzler appears in Dream Drop Distance’s “The Grid,” a world based on the movie “Tron: Legacy.” The original Tron film was featured as a world in KHII, a few years prior. Why is this important? Well, in KHII, Sora’s main ally was the titular Tron...and that is who Rinzler is. You see, Rinzler - a character who lives in a computerized world - is a Program who has been corrupted by another baddy, the evil CLU, and transformed into a murderous, mute enforcer who exists only to carry out CLU’s orders. He’s been turned into a sadistic, ruthless monster with no purpose but to kill, and this was a character who was once a valuable ally and friend of Sora’s. I really love the emotional impact this creates, and it makes Tron, as a character, one of my favorite Disney Heroes in the series...but as far as his evil alter-ego goes, there’s one key problem: that story is effectively incomplete. Rinzler’s fate in Dream Drop Distance is left ambiguous: we don’t really know what happens to him, if he’ll ever become the Tron we know and love again, or if he and Sora will have another chance to meet. I was really hoping that would be addressed in KH3, but it wasn’t. Without that final chapter to the book, so to speak, I don’t feel justified placing Rinzler any higher than number ten...but hey, making it INTO the Top 10, to begin with, has to count for something.

9. Captain Barbossa.

Barbossa has a similar issue to Rinzler, but a.) it’s in reverse, and b.) it’s far, FAR less problematic. Barbossa first appeared in KHII, as well, but he wasn’t a friend of Sora’s: in that game, Barbossa was a villain, just as he was in the first Pirates of the Caribbean movie, upon which the Pirates world in the game is based. Voiced by Brian George, who once again does a decent job at imitating Geoffrey Rush’s performance and brings clear energy to the role of the wretched pirate, Barbossa is one of the first villains enlisted by Pete and Maleficent in an attempt to regain the power the Disney rogues had in the first KH game. Once again, he gets a great boss fight, and he has a decent amount of time and impact within his levels, making him one of the best villains introduced in the second game. The problem with Barbossa actually comes when he’s NOT a villain anymore: in KH3, we have a level based on “At World’s End,” and by that time, Barbossa has been resurrected and become an ally of the heroes. You’d think that the game would tap into the potential of that, with Sora and Company having to react to an old foe being a newfound friend, and Barbossa having to realize he has other problems to deal with through them...but Barbossa is barely even present and never really interacts with the trio. Said trio, in turn, seems WAY too accepting of him as an ally after all the treachery he tried in their first encounter. However, since all that happens after the villainous fact, and since Barbossa’s time in KHII does feel more complete and is grand to behold, I don’t really think it affects his placement here all that much.

8. Ursula.

Oh, Ursula...thou art a paradox in this series. Ursula is a bizarre case where the character is somehow handled perfectly and yet horribly all at once. On the one hand, her actions in the games certainly work with the character, her personality is on point...and, on that note, she’s played by her original voice actress, Pat Carroll. Something I find consistent in the KH series is that most of the best-voiced villains are cases where either their original performers are playing them, or at least they are played by actors who have been playing these characters regularly for a while. Carroll is no exception: she’s played Ursula in pretty much ALL her appearances throughout Disney’s many media outlets, and she brings the same passion and pride to her work in the KH games as she had all the way back in 1989 with the original Little Mermaid. On top of that, she’s one of the most recurring villains in the series, So, where is the issue? Well, frankly, the way the character is actually used in the game is somewhat iffy, usually because the Atlantica levels in KH tend to be infamously mediocre and/or frustrating. In the first game, the water mechanics for Atlantica were rather finicky; Chain of Memories was easier to manage, but because of the way things were handled in that story, Ursula’s boss was much easier and her impact and role much smaller. I don’t even want to talk about the (thankfully) optional Atlantica level in KHII, though I will say that getting Pat Carroll to sing was probably the only semi-smart decision in that world. (I would have said it was purely smart except she didn’t sing “Poor Unfortunate Souls.”) Her final appearance to date was in Dream Drop Distance, where Ursula made a surprise appearance as the first boss/tutorial of the game...but a.) she comes out of nowhere, and b.) by virtue of BEING the first boss/tutorial enemy, she’s obviously unforgivably easy to deal with. So, yeah...while it’s always fun to encounter Ursula in these games, the games THEMSELVES don’t always give her the best MATERIAL, and as a result, I don’t think I can rank her any higher.

7. Captain Hook.

Peter Pan’s nefarious nemesis is a character I have great attachment for. The Disney version is among my favorite takes on the character, as well as my fourth favorite Disney Villain of all time. And as a recurring antagonist of the KH franchise, it stands to reason the swashbuckling scoundrel would be on this list, too. Hook is one of the more comical villains in the Kingdom Hearts rogues gallery, but do not underestimate him: Hook is a frequent boss, and his fights are some of my favorites in the franchise. In the first game, he’s actually one of the last Disney Villains we face, and fittingly proves to be a surprising challenge. While humorous, he’s dead serious when it comes to his villainy, and his goofiness belies what a dangerous foe he can be on the battlefield. Corey Burton - who has been playing the character for years since the death of Hook’s original actor, Hans Conried - reprises his role in these games, and brings his typical enthusiasm to the part. Honestly, there’s not much to say in this case: it’s just a lot of fun when you face Captain Hook!

6. Oogie Boogie.

“The Nightmare Before Christmas” is a major contender for my all-time favorite movie. By extension, Oogie is one of my favorite Disney Villains, and he is a lot of fun in the KH franchise. In the movie, Oogie’s motivations are just pure hunger and sadistic pleasure: he does what he does basically because he wants to do it, plain and simple. However, in subsequent appearances - most notably in video games - Oogie has been shown to be a malevolently ambitious and envious sort: always seeking to become the King of Halloween Town, as well as other holidays. This makes him an interesting foil to our hero, Jack Skellington: he, of course, tried to take over Christmas, and IS the king of his own holiday. However, Jack never uses his role as a king to take advantage of anybody, and there was never any malicious intent in his misadventures with Christmas. You can’t say the same about this Gambling Boogieman. The KH series sticks to this formula, and Ken Page once again returns to voice the character. Much like Hook, there’s not a lot to say about Oogie: he’s just such FUN to encounter, and has some really great boss fights, to boot. In fact, one of my disappointments with the KH manga series is that they completely overlook(ed) Halloween Town, and the fun one could have there with Oogie...but that’s another story.

5. Jafar.

As villains overall, I like both Captain Hook and Oogie Boogie a little more than Jafar. Yet, in Kingdom Hearts, Jafar trumps them both for me. And...I have no sodding clue why that is. I think it’s a combination of his battles, his voice, and the way he works off other characters in the story of the series. While Oogie and Hook both had great battles, Jafar’s just stand out to me SLIGHTLY more - specifically, his first boss encounter in KHI, and his Genie form encounter in KHII. His battle taunts are part of this; they’re just such FUN to listen to, and this ties into the element of the voice: this is yet another case of an actor reprising a part, and with Jonathan Freeman, that is ALWAYS great. Freeman has not only played Jafar in every spin-off from Aladdin that’s featured the character, as well as the original film, but he’s also quite possibly the only voice performer to ALSO play his role onstage among the baddies here: he originated the role of Jafar in the Broadway stage version of Aladdin. That is how closely tied he is to the character, and he puts the same energy, passion, and effort into KH as anything else. Perhaps because of this, and the way Jafar is written, he seems to have a bit more of a commanding presence among the Disney Villains: in KHI, his interactions with Maleficent seem to place them on a more even keel than with the rest of the bad guys involved, and in KHII, they REALLY play up his return. With Oogie and Ursula, their reappearances don’t feel like SUCH big deals (in fact, with Ursula, they seem to have completely FORGOTTEN her), but with Jafar, the way they play up his resurrection makes him feel like he left much more of an impact on our heroes, and gives the sense his return is more important in some way. Hook and Oogie are a lot of fun, but Jafar just feels like he’s a bigger threat in the grand scheme of things, and I think that’s what gets him a spot in the Top 5.

4. MCP.

Even though the MCP (short for Master Control Program) only appeared in one game, that being KHII, he made a major impact on both the story of that game and my memory. The MCP (voiced by the great David Warner in the original film) was the main antagonist of the live-action/CGI film “Tron,” and arguably the third-tier antagonist of KHII after Xemnas and Maleficent. He was played in the game by Corey Burton, doing a David Warner impression, since - presumably - the actual David Warner was indisposed at the time. Unlike most Disney Villains in the series, he was not allied with Maleficent, and instead was sort of doing his own thing...and that thing was creating computerized Heartless from the databanks of Ansem the Wise’s old system to overrun Hollow Bastion, the world of the “users” he believed to be inferior. In other words, the Master Control Program is basically the Kingdom Hearts version of HAL 9000 or similar “evil computer” characters. The game actually introduced me to the movie, and when I saw the actual film, I was a little surprised by the fact that the MCP felt like he had a much bigger role in Kingdom Hearts than in the film, by comparison. Granted, in both cases, the character is rarely seen or heard, but his presence is always felt. In the movie, however, most of the focus is on the secondary antagonist, Commander Sark, whose role is IMMENSELY reduced in the game...unfortunate for Sark, but actually helpful towards making the MCP more memorable and intense. I actually wish the character could have returned in later installments, but since the games decided to follow up with the story of Tron’s sequel film, that hasn’t happened and is unlikely to happen. All the same, I felt he was deserving of high marks here.

3. Pete.

As Disney’s oldest recurring antagonist - predating not only Mickey Mouse and his pals, but even Oswald the Lucky Rabbit - it’s no surprise that Pete would appear in the world of Kingdom Hearts. In the series, Pete was a constant thorn in Mickey’s side in the days before he became King of Disney Castle. Ultimately, the fat bully was banished to another dimension as punishment for his many crimes, but Maleficent - apparently seeing some potential in the bullying rogue - released him from his prison, and made him essentially her emissary. Pete is a villain known for changing styles and roles throughout Disney history, and KH sometimes seems like a tribute to the character’s versatility in that regard; true, we have his “primary form,” visible here, but we also encounter other incarnations of Pete from his time before joining Maleficent, such as a superhero/supervillain style character called “Captain Dark,” and incarnations based on his appearances in “Steamboat Willie” and “Mickey, Donald, & Goofy in The Three Musketeers.” This is not forgetting Julius, the Frankenstein’s-Monster-esque creature that bears a striking resemblance to Pete, and whom we encounter in an optional “surprise” boss fight in Dream Drop Distance. Pete’s versatility is only part of the fun; I absolutely love what a “try-hard” he is as a villain. Seeing this much more cartoonish, bumbling oaf of a character - who relies on brute strength and is constantly mucking things up - bouncing off a character like MALEFICENT is just friggin’ HILARIOUS. The relationship they have is a lot of fun, since Pete seems utterly devoted to Maleficent (for one reason or another), and does everything he can to please her, while the Mistress of All Evil spends most of her time calling him a “useless imbecile” and a “pathetic coward” among other not-so-affectionate titles. You really have to wonder what the Dark Queen Herself saw in the guy...maybe his simple persistence and determination? It’s certainly a big part of what makes the lunkheaded Pete such a fun villain in general, and it is for that idiotic persistence that I grant him the number three spot on this list.

2. Hades.

As I have said before, I am not the biggest fan of Disney’s Hercules, and when I made my list of my favorite Disney Villains way, way back, poor Hades ranked much lower than you might expect. Because of this, you may think I dislike the guy...but I don’t! Hades was definitely the most fun part of Hercules, and he’s certainly an entertaining villain. I think a big part of this is his personality; even though the Lord of the Underworld is depicted as basically the Devil in the universe of the film, he’s treated in a manner you really wouldn’t expect. Voiced by James Woods (both in the original film and these games, as well as I think everywhere else the character has shown up), this Godly ghoul’s lingo reminds one of a television agent, or a gossip columnist, or even a sleazy car salesman. In Kingdom Hearts, Hades is handled excellently; alongside Pete and Maleficent, he seems to be the most prominent of all the Disney Villains (I’m pretty sure the only ones who have shown up more than him are Maleficent and Pete), and arguably the most powerful. It is also through Hades that many of the Final Fantasy characters get to shine, as well, as the duels at Olympus Coliseum often feature them, and Hades often summons characters from those games to his side, such as Cloud and Auron. The battles with Hades are also infamously tricky and yet also tons of fun; in KHI, he got an optional battle, and in Chain of Memories, I can’t count how many times I died trying to beat this fiery bozo. (Well...in the original, anyway. He seemed a lot easier in the “Re” version.) My favorite of them all had to be the final fight with him from Kingdom Hearts II, where even with Hercules, Donald, Goofy, and a guy with a giant sword on our side, it STILL took me a couple tries to defeat this dastard. If there was ever a villain I liked more in Kingdom Hearts than in their own movie, Hades MIGHT be such a case.

1. Maleficent.

Was there ever any doubt? Voiced impeccably by Susanne Blakeslee - who has done an absolutely PERFECT job at stepping into the late Eleanor Audley’s black shoes - Maleficent, the Dark Fairy from “Sleeping Beauty,” is the secondary antagonist of the entire series and, right alongside Xehanort himself - the primary antagonist - probably my favorite villain in the games. This isn’t the only reason I place Maleficent on here, however; it’s no secret that the Mistress of All Evil is my favorite Disney Villain, but what some of you may be surprised to know is that Kingdom Hearts is just as much a part of my love for her as her original film appearance. Now, true, her level of actual menace has fluctuated from game to game - and the worst games are those where she provides the least threat, usually, I can’t help but notice - but you can’t deny that anytime she pops up, it’s a memorable, show-stealing experience. Highly narcissistic, she believes it is her right to claim Kingdom Hearts as her own realm, and Disney Castle as her new palace. She is unabashedly villainous, with little justification, and so deliciously theatrical and operatic in terms of style. While Pete runs away from conflict at the first sign of trouble, Maleficent will continue fighting even if it looks like she could lose. She is immensely powerful and incredibly manipulative, able to twist people’s hearts and desires to her will in just about every installment, and toying with their minds gleefully. She worships the darkness almost religiously, and is willing to do just about anything, and use just about anyone, to get what she wants. Everytime I encounter her, I can’t help but grin like a loon; I love the character that much. There’s seriously not enough good things I could say about her in these games! So...yeah, sorry to be predictable here, but it’s really a no-brainer in this case. Maleficent is, without a shadow of a doubt, My Favorite Disney Villain from the Kingdom Hearts series.

Honorable Mentions Include…

Gantu.

Monstro.

Chernabog.

Davy Jones.

[mexicancat-girl]

Ok guys, I can't take it, I’m seriously at my limit here.

Uraraka vs Bakuboi was a sham of a fight and none of it makes any goddamn sense.

Uraraka deserved her win, for multiple reasons.

Shout out to @bnhasalt, who’s post reminded me how indignantly furious this arc makes me.

More under the cut over both how salty I am, and how Uraraka losing against Explodo Kills makes absolutely no sense, even narratively.

(Warning ahead for a discussion on sexism, misogyny, forced fanservice, the blatant favoritism towards That One Specific Character even if unearned in the narrative, and the general incompetence on how to write female characters.

I call B/kugo “Bakuboi” in this analysis bc I don’t want to write his Actual Name out and have it pop up in his character tags. Also, heads up, I’m sorry for how messy and long this rant is )

First, can I just say that Horikoshi is uhhhh Bad at writing female characters?

Which I’m sure many female fans already have an inkling about, but goddamn is it never more obvious than in the Sports Festival Arc. Because hey, at least the female characters are THERE and PARTICIPATING and have their own time to shine! This ISN’T one of those arcs that just stars THE BOYS, so that MUST mean this arc is equal opportunity! Right...?

God, I wish. I wish...

See, the girls are the minority of the Sports Fest in general. It shouldn’t be this way. And quite frankly, the fact that the classes (and UA in general) isn’t closer to being a 50/50 gender split also makes no sense, considering all children are raised in a society that values heroism EQUALLY and almost half the population is male and half female.

But, okay, let’s say I actually believe in the most illogical character ratio imagineable of there being a 2 boy to 1 girl, like this is another round of Naruto But It’s Superheroes So It’s Different I Swear.

We all know that there is going to be an emphasis on Izuku, since he’s the protagonist and he wants to make All Might proud during the Sports Festival.

Pre-Festival, there’s the reveal that Uraraka wants to do her best, with her main motivation of becoming a hero to give her parents a good life. Iida also wants to make his own family proud, specifically his brother, because of his family legacy. 

Since these three are a trio, you’d think they’d all get some time to shine, right? Since they’re Izuku’s friends? And Izuku considers them his equals?

Yeah, no. Wrong.

This arc is dominated by Izuku, Shoto, and Bakuboi. That becomes clear very quickly. 

I knew I shouldn’t expect much, since these three are powerhouses and also the most popular characters of the entire franchise (just look at the popularity polls) but still. I’d thought at least Uraraka would get a chance to shine! Since we get some character development and motivation revealed from her!

But the female characters in general get done so dirty this arc, despite it being first set up as a perfect arc to let the girls have just as much opportunity to participate as their male peers.

The most significant part of the female characters all getting an ‘equal time to shine’ is when He Who Must Not Be Mentioned and Kaminari trick the girls into dressing as scantily-clad cheerleaders. Which is both Tiring and Unncessary.

(This scheme also shouldn’t have worked because Momo is Vice Rep and she is an intelligent girl, top of her class. She would be smart enough to go to a teacher and actually double-check to see if Class 1-A girls really needed to cheer in the activities portion of the Sports Festival. 

But noooo, Horikoshi can’t pass up a chance for FANSERVICE and forcing his underaged female characters to be uncomfortable for The Funnies! Thanks! I hate it!)

The female characters that move onto the final round of the Sports Festival, and thusly have the most attention, are: Uraraka, Mei Hatsume from Support, Momo, Mina, and Shiozaki from 1-B.

Wow, I sure wish these girls could like...show their worth. And maybe NOT get steamrolled and easily tossed aside in their matches because they’re facing Boys and Boys Have Strong Offense-based Quirks, That’s The Rules Folks.

(Before you come at me, I know that isn’t a rule that applies to every single male character in the series, but the strongest and offense-based Quirks tend to go to the male characters, while the female characters tend to get more support-based Quirks. It’s both sexist, but also an inherent trend in media in general. Please Just Let Women Punch Shit To Smithereens And Control The Elements.)

Yes, Mina and Shiozaki won their first rounds easily! And that’s great to see! But then we turn right around, and they're eliminated just as quickly in their second matches! Without even a fighting chance!

Good God, Shiozaki is literally PUSHED OUT OF THE RING. That’s it, that’s how she lost. Same thing with Momo in her match! And Mei straight-up forfeits because her character is based more on advertising her inventions/babies, so she doesn’t even fight.

So essentially, the female characters are shucked away if they’re not used to make the male characters look good, or there for fanservice, or there to show a shallow form of ~feminism~ so Horikoshi can pat himself on the back and say “See! Girls strong! I can write girls!”

And now we get to the meat of things: Uraraka.

Oh, poor Uraraka. Out of all the female characters, your potential was the greatest, and also the most squandered...

As a reminder, at the start of the arc, Uraraka speaks with both Izuku and Iida about how she wants to do well in the Sports Fest. They all promise to do their best. Izuku’s friends admit that they want to face him in later matches, because they want to be his equals.

Uraraka wanted to stand on the same level as Izuku and Iida, but she's the only one that doesn't move on past her first match!

And man, what an absolute bogus match it is.

Is it emotional? Yeah. Did I tear up when I watched it? Sure, every single time! But that's more because Uraraka is one of my favorite characters and I feel empathy for her and thought she deserved better.

The match gets to me because I also hate how Bakuboi is so fucking entitled and gets everything handed to him on a silver platter.

Bakuboi himself is written as, essentially, a Gary Stu. He always wins. ALWAYS. And even when he ‘loses’, he still manages to beat his opponents to the point that they need to be hospitalized (see Izuku vs Kacchan pt 1) or he makes his losses ALL ABOUT HIMSELF by twisting logic to fit his own narrative.

Remember how Bakuboi won against Todoroki in the final match? And was so pissed at him he was ready to Physically Assault Todoroki for him not being able to Get Over His Trauma to go 100% during their match? And even though Bakuboi LITERALLY won the entire Sports Festival, he’s so entitled that he demands a rematch because he feels like he “didn’t actually win”?

Not wanting a rematch for Todoroki’s sake, because Todoroki has been through a rough time and Bakuboi overheard Todo’s Tragic Abusive Backstory. Oh no, that would make too much sense and show too much character growth, we can’t have that! Bakuboi, even when winning the Sports Festival, demanded a rematch because he wanted to beat the shit out of Todoroki AGAIN to assert his dominance.

You see, Bakuboi is always rewarded in the narrative. Even when he loses it’s not seen as his fault. He’s never really punished for it, and he never learns any lessons from his losses.

Ah, and let’s not forget, Katsuki Bakuboi has the Best And Strongest Quirk Ever. Strong enough to even do the impossible and work to his advantage when it shouldn’t!

Like how he SOMEHOW manages to ‘beat the odds’ by breaking the laws of physics to win in Round 2. He manages to PUNCH THROUGH A QUIRK THAT CREATES A SOLID WALL from 1-B’s Tsuburaba in order to get back his team’s headband and move on to Round 3.

Or hey, his finishing move, Howlitzer Impact? Doesn’t make any sense either. It shouldn’t work as a...cyclone? Tornado? Drill thing? 

Look, the logistics of it shouldn’t work. Yes, this is anime, but do you HONESTLY think that a teenager YEETING himself in a fast spiral will somehow accomplish anything more than spreading out some explosions in a circle around him? You honestly think any other character would be able to pull that bullshit off WITHOUT upchucking their entire lunch?

But because it’s Bakuboi, it works somehow. Because Bakuboi’s Quirk is The Shining Beacon Of Quirks. 

Drawbacks? Sure, he SUPPOSEDLY has them. They’re noted in his character profile and everything. But very rarely do those supposed “drawbacks” ever actually come into play and actually, like, stop him. Or slow him down. Or, yknow, ACTUALLY WORK LIKE DRAWBACKS ARE SUPPOSED TO WORK.

Because apparently, human limits don’t exist for Katsuki fucking Bakuboi, nope, not at all!

One of Bakuboi’s "drawbacks" is supposed to be that he can't overexert himself or he can fuck up his wrists/his forearms will start to ache. 

Cool cool cool, except...This rarely slows him down or effects him at all. 

It’s actually astounding he hasn’t given himself Carpel Tunnel, because that would be a natural consequence to over-using his Quirk. Hell, he should be fucking up his arms almost as much as Izuku does to his own arms with a destructive Quirk like OFA! Explosions are dangerous and cause massive destruction, and that should be fucking up his arms SOMEHOW!

But, nope. Bakuboi is as fresh as a goddamn daisy. He can Never Have A Weakness.

(Another drawback is cold weather/Winter season is supposed to weaken his Quirk. Makes sense, since heat would help him produce more nitroglycerin sweat, and the cold would make it hard to sweat. But that sure as hell didn’t stop him during the Joint Training Arc in the future, and he didn’t struggle whatsoever to almost singlehandedly win that for his team.)

Not ONCE does Bakuboi’s Quirk ever effect him negatively and forces him to weaken! He keeps using his Quirk like it's nothing!!

And that’s the crux of the entire problem with Uraraka vs Bakuboi’s match.

Bakuboi apparently has “drawbacks” and “limits”, but he keeps somehow managing to break them without a sweat (ha) and without consequence, essentially PULLING WINS OUT OF HIS ASS.

Bakuboi was using his Quirk LITERALLY NONSTOP during Round 1, and kept using it to throw himself around in Round 2. Logically, he should’ve fucked his arms up and been at the very least SLOWED DOWN by the third round of the Sports Fest because he went past what were SUPPOSED to be his Quirk’s canonical limitations and logic!

It would've taught Bakuboi that he can't fucking steamroll through all his problems! He has limits! There are consequences to over using his Quirk! He’s a human being and he doesn’t have endless stamina like some sort of God!

Hell, every other character has these limits very clearly shown and outlined with their Quirks! Uraraka throws up when she over-uses Zero Gravity. Shoto, before using his fire side, would get frostbite. Iida’s Engines will stall after using Recipro Burst.

The other characters have limitations to their Quirks that slows them down, shows consequences for their actions, but Bakuboi NEVER HAS ANY.

THIS is why he’s a Gary Stu. THIS is why he won his match against Uraraka.

Not because of any logic. Because HIS QUIRK HAS NO FLAWS. And on top of that, THE NARRATIVE KEEPS REWARDING HIM, EVEN WHEN HE HASN’T EARNED IT.

Bakuboi SHOULD have been weakened from using his Quirk non-stop. Bakuboi SHOULD NOT have managed to pull out that “one final big explosion” that ruined Uraraka’s final attack.

Bakuboi was literally hissing about his arms hurting earlier, before their match started. And Uraraka forced him to use his Quirk so much that she managed to amass a ton of debris to knock him out and win the match. HIS EXPLOSIONS SHOULD HAVE SPUTTERED OUT, AND NOT SAVED HIM WITH THAT LAST-SECOND ASSPULL.

Like, I’m preeeeetty sure the entire reason Horikoshi wrote Uraraka vs Bakuboi in the first place was because he was attempting at writing Feminism.

See, Bakuboi Hates Everyone Equally, he’s not a violent misogynist for beating up Uraraka! It’s a Match, he Respects Women And Sees Them As Equals! The Crowd of Pro Heroes are the ones being Misogynistic and Judging The Match Early!

And look at Uraraka, she’s a Strong Woman! She keeps getting back up! That’s the Shonen Spirit! And she’s smart, too! Look at her amazing plan to win--

Oh, wait. Wait, nope. She didn’t win at all! :) Because our shining beacon of perfection Katsuki Bakuboi never loses!! :)) Look at all her hopes and dreams being blown to literal smithereens, because of Bakuboi’s ass pull, even though he shouldn’t have had enough time, sweat, and strength to muster up that last explosion!!! :)))

Can ya’ll feel my incandescent fury right now?

Because Horikoshi can NEVER write Bakuboi losing, Uraraka COULDN’T HAVE WON, even if her winning makes THE MOST LOGICAL SENSE.

This scene was supposed to show Uraraka’s strength. But it feels like Uraraka is being literally spit in her face, for even DARING to TRY to win against Katsuki fucking Bakuboi.

How much more impactful would Uraraka’s breakdown have been, if she had moved onto the Second Round with Izuku and Iida? How she would feel ashamed that she couldn’t keep up with them, with how Powerful their Quirks are? Especially after seeing Izuku and Todoroki’s amazing match, and seen how destructive and close a match it had been?

How DEVASTATED she would have felt, beating BAKUBOI--one of the strongest of their class!--and then STILL managing to lose the Sports Festival?

That would have been SO much more interesting! And even SADDER!! C’mon!

Uraraka SHOULD have won her match! It would’ve provided both character development for herself, and for Bakuboi! Bakuboi would realize he has limits to his body and Quirk, and realize not to underestimate his opponents! Uraraka would realize that she’s strong in spite of her Quirk not being necessarily combat-oriented, but still has a long way to go in being a Pro Hero!

But, nooooo. We can’t have CHARACTER DEVELOPMENT, can we? We ESPECIALLY can’t have THE FEMALE CHARACTERS IMPACTING THE PLOT IN SOME WAY, either! Or--what’s this? FEMALE CHARACTERS ACTUALLY HAVING THE SPOTLIGHT FOR ONCE? Perish the thought!

The only good parts about this godforsaken arc are 1) Mei Hatsume 2) Hitoshi Shinso and 3) Izuku vs Todoroki fight and Todoroki’s Tragic Backstory Reveal. Everything else is hit-or-miss, if not completely hot garbage.

Anyways, thanks for coming to my TED Talk, and for reading this entire thing! Four for you, reader. You go, reader.

[dani-luminae]

001: Descendants and/or 003: Ben please ❤️

001 | Send me a fandom and I will tell you my:

Favorite character: Ben

Least Favorite character: (surprise, surprise) Mal

5 Favorite ships (canon or non-canon): Huma, Baudrey, JayxGil, BenxGil, and MalxSOMEGODDAMNTHERAPY

Character I find most attractive: It’s a tie between Ben and Uma

Character I would marry: Ben. Is that answer getting repetitive? Fine. I would also marry Jay, if given the chance. (I’d also say Uma, but Harry wouldn’t let me.)

Character I would be best friends with: Probably Gil. Or Carlos.

a random thought: This series had so much potential. Fortunately, we have fanfic to fix it.

An unpopular opinion: An extremely unpopular opinion, I’m sure - Auradon isn’t actually as terrible as the fandom wants to believe, it’s just stupidly put-together for kids and not meant for critical thinking to pick apart. 

my canon OTP: Huma. They’re canon, fight me.

Non-canon OTP: Baudrey. They should have been together.

most badass character: UMA

pairing I am not a fan of: I don’t mind BenXHarry as a ship in itself but when it’s grounded entirely in the scenes when Ben’s tied up on the ship and fearing for his life - yeah, no. That’s not hot, that’s ignoring trauma.

character I feel the writers screwed up (in one way or another): Every. SINGLE. One. Of their named Disney characters. Heroes and villains alike. No one was allowed to be in-character for this series at all. And Mal. They screwed her up after the first movie too.

favourite friendship: Carlos and Dude were fantastic until the second movie made Dude rude as hell.

character I want to adopt or be adopted by: I wouldn’t wanna adopt anyone from this world, to be honest. And I wouldn’t wanna be adopted, either, because almost every parent is Not Good.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

003 | Give me a character & I will tell you

How I feel about this character: I LOVE BEN SO MUCH OKAY. HE’S SO PRECIOUS AND SO SWEET AND HE DESERVES SO MANY HUGS and way better than the crappy True Love and demotion to second character that this franchise has pinned on him.

All the people I ship romantically with this character: Audrey, Uma, Jay, Gil, not in that order necessarily

My non-romantic OTP for this character: BenXChad. They were best friends as children and canon is sh*t for implying that Chad would happily take the crown if Ben died.

My unpopular opinion about this character: He’s a pushover. That’s more the writing’s fault than his own (look at his D1 character vs. D3).

One thing I wish would happen / had happened with this character in canon: I WISH HE STOOD UP TO MAL. Or got a cathartic moment to just tell her off. Say he won’t take part of the blame for her decisions, because he shouldn’t be. 

my het ship: Buma

my fem/slash ship: BenJay

my OTP: Baudrey

my OT3: admittedly I can see the appeal of Bumarry

my cross over ship: none really

my kink: nope

a head cannon fact: The reason that Ben “forgot” to bring over more VKs between D1-D2 was because Mal spelled his memories so much, she erased more than she thought. 

my gender bend: Bianca Mercier, Queen of Auradon! Not much backstory has changed at all, but she wears more yellow/gold than blue.

Thank you for the ask and the ❤️! Ask box is open! Give me 001 with a fandom for thoughts, 002 with a ship for thoughts, 003 with a character for thoughts, or 004+two fandoms for a crossover OTP!

[lea-andres]

💔

Least Favorite Character and Why You Dislike Them

OH YOU JUST OPENED THE FLOODGATES HERE WE GO.

I despise the Deadly Six. Probably unfairly, because I haven't played Sonic Lost World (I hesitate to, I'm pretty certain I won't like it. 😬), but every time Zavok and/or one of the other ones appears (I know the one Espio defeated by himself is Zazz. I think the girl's Zeena? I couldn't name the other 3 if my life depended on it. Zmeenie, Zminey, and Zmoe. Fuck it.) I just get so irritated.

I can't really give a fair judgement of the other five's personality (considering I can never even remember 3 of them. Zazz seems like the most fun of the lot, but it's hard to get the loose cannon maniacs wrong.), But I will say Zavok bores me to death. From what I've seen of his personality, there is no personality. He's just evil, and doing evil because he's evil. SNORE.

They look like trash Bowser knockoffs. Which first of all, that's just rude. Bowser's excellent, don't make shitty versions of him. Second of all, while I am open to more villains than just Eggman in the Sonic franchise, don't rip off Mario villains! Come up with your own stuff, or reuse the characters you don't use anymore! Infinite deserves a second chance to be an awesome villain, as does Mephiles! I'd rather see either one of them (or both!) again than see Zavok in every damn game. Or bring Starline into the games! I LOVE Starline!

Again, this might be unfair of me to think, since I haven't played Lost World, but the fact that I don't seem to be alone in this line of thought doesn't give me much hope of that game changing my mind.

The only time they were fine was in the Metal Virus Saga. Every other time they've shown up my reaction's pretty much just been:

Thanks for the ask! Sorry I got so cranky.😂

[iturbide]

If you don't mind multiples can I please ask for Brady and Phoenix Wright? And if I recall you have not played much Binding Blade, but if you feel comfortable enough with the character to answer, Idunn please?

Of course I don’t mind multiples also excellent choices

How do I feel about this character? 

BABY BOY.  I love Brady so much with his scary face and intimidating scar as the rough exterior over an incredibly soft heart and boundless compassion.  I love how gentle and kindhearted he is, I love how he talks like an absolute gangster but wants to use the violin to express how he really feels, and I love that he gets teary over the small miracles in the world like flowers growing in difficult places.  He’s a delight and deserves to be popular with the ladies.

Who do I ship this character with romantically? 

Nobody, really!  I don’t have any real romantic ships for the second gen Awakening characters -- usually I joke that I ship them with happiness, because it’s what they deserve after everything they’ve suffered through.  Just so long as he’s in good company with people who appreciate him for who he is, I’m happy for him.

Who is my brOTP for this character? 

OWAIN.  But honestly Owain is my answer for any and all second gen brOTPs because Owain is great.  The fact that he appreciates Brady as he ought is just icing on the cake.  I also really love him and Yarne, especially for him actually helping the scaredy bun to toughen up (and undoubtedly offering healing support so that Yarne doesn’t go extinct).

What’s my Unpopular Opinion™ about this character? 

Brady is underappreciated and it’s a crime.  He’s so good but he’s one of those characters that gets passed over for kids like Inigo (who has predatory tendencies and is also a huge jerk in multiple supports) and Severa (who is manipulative bordering on abusive and also a huge jerk in most of her supports).  I legitimately do not understand why people don’t appreciated the soft-hearted gangster so I will instead love him that much more because they won’t (which is why I got him to +10 in Heroes).

What’s one thing I wish would have happened with this character in canon? 

I really, really wish that he’d gotten a chance to play his violin for his mother in their support chain.  I know that in his chain with his father she tricks him into playing it, but I really think it would have been incredibly poignant if Brady had traded all those attempts at learning Maribelle’s hoity-toity speech and just played from the heart, something so profoundly touching that she came to realize it’s not the words that are important.  Yes, their supports are funny, but...I really would have liked something more heartwarming for them.

How do I feel about this character?

I love Phoenix Wright so much.  I love his snark, I love his improv, I love how he literally rolls with everything no matter how ridiculous even if he does kick himself mentally when he does.  The man interrogated a parrot on the stand, literally what is there not to love about him.

Who do I ship this character with romantically?

Miles Edgeworth.  That’s honestly it.  I do see him as bi and I do think that he loved Iris while she was pretending to be Dahlia, but that was a long time ago and they’ve both grown as people to the point where they can (and I think should) remain friends, just not romantic partners.  I have a major soft spot for him and Edgeworth though, it’s my hands-down favorite ship in the entire franchise (even though I put them through the wringer in fic).

Who is my brOTP for this character?

Does Maya count?  Because I absolutely see him and Maya being like siblings, with Phoenix as the long-suffering older brother and Maya as the occasionally obnoxious younger sister.  I can’t see their love for each other as anything other than familial, so them as a brOTP just makes sense to me.  Iris, too, if we want to get technical: their romance ended, but I like the idea of them being able to maintain a friendship.

What’s my Unpopular Opinion™ about this character?

He’s more of a realist than people give him credit for.  Fandom loves to joke about Phoenix being dumb or unobservant, but while he certainly can (and does) leap before he looks, he’s smart and his incredibly wry internal monologue heavily implies to me that he’s most often rolling with the punches rather than blundering blindly into them and reeling into success through luck alone.  He’s pretty savvy in my view, and it irritates me that fandom likes to play him as the eternal butt of the joke (since they also like to forget Larry exists -- apparently Phoenix is the one they substitute in for him).

What’s one thing I wish would have happened with this character in canon?

To be honest...I kind of wish the events leading into AA4 had never happened.  That timeline legitimately breaks my heart because I love Phoenix, and seeing him so broken -- even if it is in part an act to trick the one who set it all in motion -- is more than I can bear.  I really wish we could have just gone forward with Phoenix staying a defense attorney and succeeding, bringing Apollo on as a successor and teaching him in much the same way he learned from Mia, rather than piling yet more trauma onto a man who has never deserved it and who has already lived through too much of it after three games.  

And while it’s true that I haven’t played Binding Blade, I do still love Idunn in Heroes, so:

How do I feel about this character?

This sweet child did not deserve this and I am going to protect her at all costs.  Similar to Grima in how she suffered at the hands of others, only her abuse came from dragonkind first before humans sealed her and Zephiel turned her into a weapon to achieve his own ambitions -- only heartbreakingly they stripped her of her very soul, making her a shell of her true self.  So I love her, I want her to be safe and cherished, and I want to see her recover from all she’s gone through.

Who do I ship this character with romantically?

boy I’ve said this a lot tonight but no ships!  Idunn...well, first off she’s still trying to recover her personal autonomy, and second of all she got sealed very young and so has a lot of growing to do mentally once she does.  She’s not really a character I’m comfortable shipping at all until she’s gone through a significant amount of therapy, and since that needs to come first and foremost rather than setting some romance as an end goal (which would be creepy), I’m just not even thinking about it.

Who is my brOTP for this character?

FAE-FAE.  BEST TINY BABY SISTER A DRAGON COULD ASK FOR.  Fae seems like the perfect dragon sibling and I love the idea of them having a sweet sibling bond where "big” sister Fae is taking the lead while "little” sister Idunn follows her lead and learns from her.  Also the Grimas, as both guardian figures and fellow victims of heavy-handed cruelty; having their grounding influence for stability, especially when she slips in her recovery, would be very important, and the more of herself she gets back the more I think she would appreciate that unspoken concern.

What’s my Unpopular Opinion™ about this character?

are there any popular opinions about Idunn out there?  I don’t see her too much sadly but I’ll just go out on a limb and say that she enjoys flowers and all things colorful and still struggles with doing things on her own unless someone asks her to directly; deep down, she also really likes being taken care of, told stories, and taught new things like making simple crafts and flower crowns, because none of it is a real responsibility falling to her that she has to see through.  It’s just a quiet kind of relief that comes with such low-stakes activities.

What’s one thing I wish would have happened with this character in canon?

Probably the big thing is I wish canon would have given us more of a resolution for her.  You only have a chance to save her in what amounts to a secret ending in Binding Blade, and her fate remains pretty heavily in question from what I understand?  I wish canon had given us more.  Tell us if she recovered, and what she was like if she did.  Tell us what she ended up doing, whether she stayed with Fae in her village or left it at some point, or if they eventually left to travel the world together when Idunn started doing better.  Basically tell me that my dragon daughter ended up happy.

Give Me a Character

[jaybug-jabbers]

Review: Pokemon Gold and Silver 97: Reforged

The Review

What a fantastic game. I went looking for a hack that fully realized the sort of pokemon game we glimpsed in the Spaceworld ‘97 demo, and I was not disappointed. 

This alternative version of Gold and Silver takes that Spaceworld demo and builds on it with loving care and attention to detail. All the beta pokemon sprites were freshly made from scratch or edited to update them for the final, polished Gameboy Color look. The pokemon movesets and stats were crafted so that they were balanced and didn’t contain placeholders, and the pokemon were populated throughout the world in a logical fashion. Dex entries were written and the pokes were integrated smoothly into the world. There are even different sprites and different encounter rates for Gold and Silver-- although you can ‘catch them all’ in either version, an excellent choice.

Meanwhile, the world map was colored, tweaked and polished, allowing us to explore that beta world that was stunningly different from the final Gold and Silver. It’s a place that in many ways seems even more vibrant and varied than final Gold and Silver, and is truly exciting to explore.

Along with this fully realized map, this hack’s creators also gave us a fresh new plot for Gold and Silver. This one was inspired by the differences glimpsed in the demo, including Oak’s increased involvement in the story, Silver’s different personality and role, and the inclusion of an Imposter Oak. The plot stays true to the style of pokemon games and doesn’t seem out of place. 

All of the exciting little beta details were included too-- including the original Type alignments, the original Gym Leader designs, beta pokemon moves, new hold items, access to the Skateboard, being able to name your Mom, and even the minigame on the game start screen. The attention to detail and the polish on this hack is truly impressive.

Essentially, I feel like this hack can be considered the definitive edition of the beta Gold/Silver that we never knew. It gives us a chance to experience this alternative world, and breathes life into these wonderful pokemon that never were. Giving us a chance to know and love these beta creations is truly a gift for pokemon fans.

Perhaps the only downside is the sadness that this is not the official version of Gold and Silver. I experienced Pokemon a little bit differently then my peers. As a child, I adored Red and Blue, but once I’d finished with those games, I moved on from pokemon. I have no nostalgic memories of Gold and Silver to hold onto. I only returned to pokemon years later as a teenager. At that point I played several generations, one after another, at the same time, as a sort of “pokemon binge.” While most would call it blasphemy, I was never too terribly fond of Gold and Silver. I think it was largely because I didn’t happen to like a lot of the pokemon designs in those games. In many ways, this ROM hack presents a Gold and Silver that I adore and can love even more than the originals. 

That’s not to say the official Gold/Silver games are all terrible, of course. There are still definitely some beta pokemon that I feel were axed or altered for good reason. Not all of them are better then the final cuts. And there are other elements that are an improvement, too; for example, I actually really like Silver’s storyline in the official games and the fact we dealt with a character who actually stole pokemon and treated them poorly. 

That said, there is an awful lot to love in this ROM hack, and I’m grateful that we have it. Pangshi, Bellrun, Warwolf, Madame, Volbear and others may not be officially recognized by the Pokemon franchise . . . but they will always be very real in my heart.

The Team

Cinnamon (Flame Wheel/Crunch/Scary Face/Earthquake - Charcoal)

Selecting the starter was difficult, because both Honooguma’s line and Kurusu’s line appealed to me. Ultimately I think I went with my old Fire bias. Cinnamon was everything you’d expect a Fire starter to be-- powerful, intimidating, and very reliable. My only real complaint would be that I happened to strongly dislike the sprite the team had created for Dynabear. This isn’t really anyone’s fault, because the team did an excellent job with spriting-- for example, their sprite for the mid-evolution, Volbear, was incredibly good and I adored it to bits. I think it was just a matter of personal taste; I just didn’t like the final evolution’s face. (I’ve actually replaced the sprite in this picture with the original sprite, because I don’t want it to dampen my love for this species) Other than that, seriously, they did this evolution family justice. It was a joy to have on my team.

Doomsday (Curse/Confuse Ray/Body Slam/Shadow Ball - Power Wings)

The second member of my team was found in Brass Tower, to my great excitement: Kurstraw. This was possibly my favorite evolution line to come out of the beta discoveries. This pokemon’s stats were not exactly breaking any records; he went down pretty easily if I wasn’t careful. However, that never really mattered. Doomsday still did his job anyway-- pulling his weight just fine, relying on Confuse Ray and Curse a fair bit to take care of foes. He often was an excellent team player, messing with especially troubling pokemon before passing them over to an ally to finish off. His Normal Immunity also was a strong advantage at times, which I made sure to make use of. Basically, he was a fantastic companion, who helped me all the way through to the Elites and Champion fights.

Rumtum (Slash/Thunder Wave/Thunderbolt/Crunch - Leftovers)

Along with a Rinrin, this round good boy was added to the team next. I was slightly wary of Kotora because it seemed to be one of the most popular beta pokemon among fans. But, the pokemon does seem to be worthy of praise, as it turns out. It is an excellent, cute, cheery little creature and seems to do Pikachu’s job just as nicely as Pikachu, both in fighting and in charisma. Where Pikachu is focused more on speed, though, Kotora and its evolution focus a little more on bulk. The tanky tiger was able to take hits long enough to outlast the competition, even when working with relatively low basepower moves. When he *finally* learned Thunderbolt, though, man, look out -- he was quite a force to reckon with.

It’s funny, actually. When I first saw this tubby tiger, I assumed it was a fire type. Electric was somewhat surprising, but I quickly grew to like it as that typing. Most electric type pokemon are rodent-focused, as Pikachu clones, or Magnemite’s kin. Having a big, bulky tiger is unexpected for the archtype of electric pokemon, but it’s a very refreshing change.

Poprocks (Fire Blast/Surf/Body Slam/Flame Wheel - Mystic Water)

Next on the team was this awesome fellow. Well . . . sort of. Technically, next on the team was TRICKY the Bomsheal, which I traded a Rinrin for with an NPC. Later on, I felt like being able to name the pokemon myself, so I bred Tricky with Cinnamon and trained Poprocks up from scratch. This seal was the cause of some angst for me. I loved Manboo’s evolutionary line a lot, but I also loved the fire seal. They both vyed for the position of the water type on my team. For a while, I used Manboo (and Anchorage) . . . intent on keeping it. But I missed the seal so much, eventually I went back for it to retrieve it from the PC. Yes, it only added to my team’s Rock/Ground weakness, but I didn’t care. I loved this guy too much.

I’m not sure what it is. The freaking amazing typing of Fire/Water? That was definitely a big part of it. But there’s also just something so appealing in its design, simple as it may be. He’s just a cool seal with a fireball. And boy . . . I sure learned how INTENSE its stats were. This seal was RIPPING through the competition. Using it was basically pushing the win button. Honestly it might need to be nerfed a little, it was nuts. But yeah, Bomsheal is a badass and doesn’t need any evolutions to be cool. Best surfer ever!

Darkwing (Slash/Fly/Swords Dance/Faint Attack - Stick)

Right around when I was handed the TM for Fly, I ran into an area that had two types of birds available, depending on the time of day: Hoothoot at night, Farfetch’d at day. As cool as beta Noctowl looks, I eventually decided I needed to have a Madame. I just had to. Like many others, I always, always felt Farfetch’d deserved an evolution and was kind of screwed over. Learning it used to have one was a revelation.

Madame on this team was kind of funny, though. Next to all of these exotic beta pokemon, Madame seemed so . . . normal. She had moves and performed pretty much the way you’d expect a Normal/Flying type to act. It was much like using a Pidgeotto or Fearow. She couldn’t take many hits but usually could take out one pokemon. Her typing had her as an ideal Generalist pokemon-- something that could be used in various situations, not to any amazing effect but usually to a passable one.

That may sound a little underwhelming to you, but honestly, it’s what you’d expect of this cool-looking swan; it’s a Normal/Flying type. It fills that archtype as a familiar, dependable generalist. And I am someone who can really appreciate a generalist pokemon. I think the pokemon world’s richer for having Madame in it, even if only in our dreams.

Alpha (Strength/Blizzard/Screech/Ice Punch - Nevermeltice)

The final member of our illustrious team. You have to wait until fairly late into the game, when you reach the snowy towns, to get a hold of one of these fellows.But the wait is well worth it. What a beautiful pokemon design these two are-- mysterious little creatures hiding inside their wolf pelts, a perfect mix of cute and creepy. Wolfman/Warwolf actually struggled for quite some time on my team, unfortunately, just because of its movepool. I was left with the very weak Icy Wind for a long time. To compensate, I taught Strength, which worked somewhat, but I could still tell Warwolf wasn’t reaching its full potential. I taught it Blizzard, but the poor pokemon had a rough time ever landing its hits. What I SHOULD have done from the start is buy and teach it Ice Punch for a reliable STAB move with decent base power. I FINALLY decided to do that around the time I reached the Elite 4. I kind of had to-- its learnset wasn’t providing it with reliable, decent Ice moves, for some reason. Once Warwolf was properly equipped, he did great work. Admittedly, a pure Ice type pokemon isn’t the best, defensively. They have four weaknesses to some very common move types-- Rock, Fighting, Fire. (Steel moves weren’t really implemented in this game). That said, when used wisely, a pure Ice type can still be a valuable team member.

There was one hitch, though. Warwolf was mainly a physical fighter. This makes sense if you look at him. Of course he’d be a physical fighter. Thing is, in gen 2, Ice moves were all special. So I suppose technically Warwolf still isn’t hitting at his full potential-- not until the special/physical split in gen 4 so he can take true advantage of physical-type Ice moves. Still, despite that fact, he did a great job anyway. He landed the final blow that defeated Lance and won the game, after all.

I think my only real regret is how relatively little time I spent with him when compared to the others. This is, of course, just the nature of the game; you find some pokemon later on when you’re nearing the end of the game. If there’s any sort of post-game, perhaps I can spend more time with him.

And the Ones Who Didn’t Make the Cut . . .(This Time)

There were so many beta pokemon that it was impossible to have them all on the team, of course. I was especially sad about leaving my Bellrun, Tibbs, behind. I adore Rinrin and Bellrun’s line, as yet another set of pokemon that should have been included in the final cut of the official games. Alas, ultimately I removed Tibbs from my team, though. The reason was simple enough. With the beta Type alignments, Dark type was heavily disadvantaged. It was weak to Normal-type and Dark-type moves (as well as Bug), which was extremely significant. Pokemon’s movepools were positively saturated with Normal and Dark type moves, and it was impossible to avoid. With her already weak stats, and her lack of any decent basepower moves for so long, there was just too much stacked against her. It’s my hope that Rinrin/Bellrun get a bit of a buff in future updates, because they really seem to struggle. 

In any case, there were also plenty of others not on my team: Aquarius, Noctowl, Belmitt, Jumpluff, Turban, Plux, Grotess, Girafarig, Leafeon . . . and so many more. Honestly, that’s fantastic. It gives such replayability to the game. I have no doubt I will return to do more runs and get the chance to try out other pokes.

And, who knows? Maybe in the future they’ll even update this hack to include even more beta pokemon that were uncovered last year. If they don’t, I’m sure someone else will.  

(This hack is largely the work of lvl_3, who created ‘Pokemon Super Gold 97.’ Then, the hack was further changed and refined by a team into ‘Pokemon Gold and Silver 97: Reforged.’ Both can be found at the PokeCommunity as patches.)