#he's kinda real. sometimes.
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this is very quickly becoming an issue, the rot consumes.
thank you character designer for gravity falls for making ford's design play into every single one of my art style crutches. whoever you are, I love you and wish you the best. I love drawing old men, but specifically this one right now.
#stanford pines#ford pines#grunkle ford#gravity falls#art#sketch#traditional art#fanart#i am ill#he's kinda real. sometimes.#I love drawing old men#old men are my favourite to draw thank you#if you spot the refs for any of these i will cry and then sob to you about how they have changed my soul#my markers are running out of ink and idk what to do about it#what do you mean I cant use the same marker in the same condition for every drawing ever?!? no!!#I have more art I just need to make a ford appreciation post first#everytime I draw ford it's all “oh wow yeah he's so grhgg” and then I remember stanley exists and I feel so guilty#love me a fucked up sibling dynamic#thanks alex hirsch#me my sibling and the really fucked up the more you try to understand it relationship we have#like yeah sure we love eachother but have tlu ever considered hatred spite and malice?#keep being who you are gravity falls you are my favourite guys.
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Y'know what would be really funny? If each of the Flynn Fletcher siblings KNOW/have suspicions about Perry's secret, but they each keep it to themselves for individual reasons. It's been pointed out before that Perry can get REALLY reckless sometimes, and other times the boys are too clever/know Perry way too well.
-CANDACE has actually seen and interacted with Perry in secret agent mode, particularly during the time she thought she was high off her rocker and Perry had to save her from a self destructing volcano. She's had dreams where Perry was a secret agent in them.
-She doesn't bring it up or think about it much bc she just has like. A lot of other more pressing priorities most of the time, which is so valid. Also I lowkey thinks she suspects she's got a hallucination problem, like with the Zebra? I get why she doesn't talk about it out loud: she sounds crazy enough to her mother as is without suddenly talking about how their exotic pet is a sentient secret agent in a fedora.
-FERB figured it out almost immediately that day he and Phineas accidentally fell into Perry's lair and they pretended to be "secret agents" for the day. HE knows he didnt make that lair. Everything was almost toddler sized, but functionally and professionally equipped for a working adult. There were only two "P" s in the family, and it clearly wasn't Phineas. Also? Everything was Platypus themed. He put two and two together.
-I figure he doesn't talk about it bc he lowkey knows why Perry doesn't tell them. He and Phineas have a lot of faith in Perry, and Ferb is a lot less emotional. If Perry refuses to tell them about his double life and where he goes, hes just gonna trust him.
-Im pretty sure PHINEAS subconsciously knows about the secret agent thing. From where? Africa. He 💯 spotted Perry in secret agent mode on the other side of the gulf while hanging from that vine, and between his siblings Phineas is CLEARLY the one who knows what Perry looks like best. He can pick Perry out from colour and smell from every other brown eyed teal platypus in the entire tri-state area. He not only recognizes his paw prints: he knows Perry's healthy weight distribution on them to know whether or not hes injured or limping. Like....my boy can be oblivious and autistic 98% of the time, but Phin is also REALLY self aware and trusting of his own eyes and instincts.
-He doesn't talk about it because hes in denial 👍
#that being said i kinda wanna write a fic where the kids each try to help#in their own way#or help him hide from being found by literally every other member of the family#like in a comical way#realistically if Candace ever walked into her living room and saw Perry in a fedora shes just gonna stop#stare#and then turn around go somewhere else and pretend she didnt see it#and Phineas is gonna straight up dismiss it and pretend hes hallucinating or something#bc he really is his mom's son sometimes#Ferb is the only one out here hiding Perry's jetpacks under the bed and sneaking into Perry's lair after his missions to help modify#his gadgets lets be real#phineas and ferb#perry the platypus
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The Lamb is malicious in a funny way and the Goat is funny in a malicious way. No, I will not elaborate.
Anyway, everyone give thanks to the Lamb for interrupting what was sure to be a very boring and patronizing PSA from their grouchy cat hubby. Truly, they are doing God's work. Granted, the Lamb canonically is God now, so, uh. Mostly they're just doing their own work.
Speaking of their grouchy cat hubby, yes this is absolutely still Narilamb, Narinder is 100% into his goofy-ass spouse always no matter what and we all know it, he just wasn't expecting his brand new adopted kid to share the same single goofy-ass brain cell as the Lamb. :)
#fanart#comics#cult of the lamb#cotl#narilamb the goat AU lmao#cotl narinder#cotl lamb#cotl goat#did i look up a photo of billy the kid to base the goat's outfit off of?#i plead the fifth your honor#for real tho guys#rams and lambs are for sheep#for goats you want bucks and billies#or if you're afabing your goat - does and nannies#(tho to be fair ram IS sometimes accepted for male goats also? instructions unclear on that front tbh)#also don't worry - i am never gonna be all YOU GOTTA USE THESE TERMS OR YOU'RE DUMB AND BAD#it just kinda makes me giggle when i see mixed up animal deets#don't even get me STARTED on cat deets tho lmao#if i had a nickel for every time i saw a fanfic writer give narinder a knot#i would have two nickels#which isn't a lot but it's weird that it happened twice#at least the one where he was a wolf instead of a cat because the author didn't KNOW he was a cat made sense LOL#yeah i'm over here outing all the lemon fics i read idgaf#if you know which fics i'm talking about you can't even judge me anyway cuz we both been at the same devil's sacrament#i should go to bed
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Very strange to me that there are Ford fans who don't think he sucks. Like. Are you telling me that's not a feature to you guys
#ford fucking SUCKS sometimes and i love him to death for it!!!!#i am giggling and kicking my legs about it as we speak#you know who else kinda sucks? stan! and fiddleford!#those men have PROBLEMS and theyre so real and interesting for that#i love all my fucked up little geebos#also bill sucks too but he sucks 10 million times more than everyone else so i didnt bother mentioning him#gravity falls#stanford pines#cat rambles tag
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Bard-aby <3 except he's only loosely a bard bc i don't subscribe to absolutes <3
rambles:
BARNABY WITH PANTS??? BLASPHEMY!!! however this is a (dnd-inspired) fantasy au so. pants! loose pants tucked into modified boots because no one can tell me No!
based off of Clown's pokemon au human Barn, it seems like he might be a bit of a jewelry guy! he was wearing rings! and had an earring! also i think Barn just looks great w/ some extra shinies, yk yk
since ties aren't really a Thing in fantasy settings, i combined the iconic pattern w/ his vest for a two-in-one. then suspenders bc they fuck severely! his belt buckle is a bone both as a nod to the pattern on his tie / house decoration, and to go along with how Wally has an apple buckle! besties stay twinning!
you can't see it but on his other side he has his pack & his smoking pipe holster, which attaches to his belt! it's very high quality leather that he spent so much money on. his pipe is important to him - he carved it himself out of wood from an important tree from his childhood, so he wants it to be properly stored & protected! he has two kinds of tobacco for it - normal, and magic tobacco that essentially allows him to cast minor spells w/ the smoke
the feathers on his hat are from Ms. Beagle! in my mind he left the farm to go adventuring on a bit of a bad note, but his mama made sure to give him a couple feathers to take with so that she'd always be close <3
he keeps his claws blunt so that he doesn't accidentally scratch people/things, and so that he can play stringed instruments without cutting the strings. while i imagine for this au he plays a wide range, he prefers Loud Handheld Instruments that allow him to sing along. so in mind he has an Accordion here! loud! jaunty! but i imagine he also keeps a recorder in his pack for when Frank needs annoying. (he did have a lute, but he broke it over someone's head in the act of defending Wally's honor)
im still trying to pin down the right balance of colors for his outfit, but! for a little au tidbit - all of his spots are the same two blues as his ears. in this im imagining that he, at a young age, learned a very basic cosmetic spell that allowed him to change his spots color to mimic Ms. Beagle's! he wanted to look like his mama! but by the time he's in his late 20s he no longer changes his spots
ohhhh i forgot to add his pockets. Oh Well
#i wanted him to look um.... Put Together?#barn strikes me as a character that likes to look a lil sophisticated in a way!#and i wanted that to come across in this fit... dont know if i succeeded#i still wanted to have Bard-ish / Barnaby Vibes#i can easily imagine him reclined by a tree absentmindedly playin his accordion... smokin... in this outfit hat tipped down over his eyes#barnaby my beloved <3#and bardaby my beloved <3#also ill admit!!!#that lute is traced from a real image lmfao there was no way in hell i was scribbling that thing from scratch#scribble salad#wh fantasy au#i lowkey feel bad for barnaby when he finds out about the whole warlock thing#bc hes been traveling with wally for Years#barnaby likes to think that he knows everything about his little buddy#and then wally has to be like 😬#yeah im actually not technically a real person#also there's this 'demon' i have a pact with & also a weird kinda non-platonic Cant Be Accurately Labeled intimate relationship with#oh and i sometimes sacrifice innocent people to it in a pinch. the rest of the time we eat enemies' souls#and barnaby just has to! deal with that! like oh great! his bestie has been lying to his face since they met!#ands its been Seamless Lying!#suffice to say barnaby has a crisis#and now since wally can be more open about home#there's a sort of... pointless Rivalry for wally's attention/affection#even though barnaby definitely misjudges the situation and how home feels about wally...#oh switching gears back to the instrument thing!#in my mind barnaby also knows how to play the harp really well#and howdy's tavern has a corner for live music - which includes a permanently placed harp <3#so i think on quiet days barnaby will go play the harp while howdy cleans glasses & the others do their own quiet things#maybe its raining outside! or Snowing! but the tavern is cozy and warm & there is beautiful music <3
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some of the less nice thoughts about being aroace
extras below the cut
sketch
closeups on my favorite panels
bonus: adios
#doodles#kingdom hearts#roxas#axel#olette#aromantic#asexual#aroace#do i tag pence. hes in the background of one panel#ehhhh sorry pence no tag for you#also not tagging soriku and namixi#i mean by the logic of 'theyre in one panel so i wont tag them' i also shouldnt tag axel but. he has dialogue so#anyways i have a very irrational love of olette whenever i need a random side character in a kh comic? olette#i think she uses webmd. anyways im done talking about olette#so let me clarify about this comic#im aroace. this is all just things ive thought before#im not saying in any way these thoughts are real. theyre just thoughts#thats why it ends with 'but there isnt. its just me.' there IS nothing wrong with being aroace. even if it feels like it sometimes#im not trying to send a message im just trying to express a feeling ive had for a while#anyways. the aroace community is super positive and i like that. but not everything i feel about it is that positive#sometimes it feels like im missing something yknow#this comic seems like its about roxas. but its about me. congrats youve been fooled#drafted something similar to this for aro week but didnt finish it in time so this is spiritually part of asaw 2024#btw sorry im not posting as many drawings lately#schools kinda stressful im pretty tired and busy most the time#i am throwing this drawing to you like a slab of meat to a pack of hungry dogs. take this meager ration in these trying times#alright i think thats it bye now
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If you draw dip i woul be sooooooo happy
So I like to imagine Damien likes to fill in Pip about what happens back on Earth
#veearts#south park#sp fanart#fan art#damien thorn#phillip pirrup#pip#dip#damien x pip#i will talk more about this:#they become besties in hell u can't convince me otherwise#based this also a bit off of Damien still being in the bg sometimes#but yeah I think pip would be a bit bummed about passing so soon#ofc he's like well I guess I'm just unlucky oh well! but he'd miss being around everyone#even if they were pretty mean...#as they get closer Damien would tell him about the latest crazy shit that goes on#but he hides it under a lot of fake and real frustrations#pip very much appreciates it and can kinda sorta see through#and yeah basically this is canon in my head thanks
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Had to take this to the professional 🫡
We need more dad tony stark content (literally anything you got)
Literally starving
Thank you 😌
thank you for giving me more excuses to talk about this. Tony is such a good fucking dad in general, but he's especially great when you get sick. if you're in new york, he probably notices cause you're not up as early as usual. idk where this came from, but I can hear him clear as day walking into your room and smoothing your hair to wake you up, saying
"Hey pumpkin, sun's out." you only grunt in response, but it's not your usual sassy I don't wanna wake up grunt. It sounds softer, like you actually can't get up yet.
"You feeling okay?" before you can answer, he's totally on it. "jarvis, run a vital scan."
He rolls you over onto your back so he can look at you. you look... pale. you don't have the usual vibrance to your skin, it's gray and faded. you look like if you weren't lying down, you'd pass out. Your eyes are puffy and watery, your lips are chapped. You're not yourself. While Jarvis runs a diagnostic scan on your vitals, Tony also gets to work. he carefully sticks a microneedling patch on your arm to check your blood - something Strange helped him whip up, among many other ways to monitor your health without all that clunky invasive hospital equipment - as Jarvis gives him the low down.
"Elevated body temperature of 101.3 degrees fahrenheit, swelling of the sinuses, elevated white blood count..." Jarvis rambles on and on while describing your simptoms, only interrupted by an agressive coughing fit.
"And a rather nasty productive cough."
You look up at him and try not to get teary, you know crying will just make you feel more dehydrated and achy.
"Dad... I don't feel good..."
He looks down at you so warmly, and with so much love.
"I know, kid."
He stands up, determined to do everything he can to kick this cold in record time.
"Alright, your schedule for the week is cleared." He cuts you off as you object. "Ah-bup-bup-bup. I don't want to hear it. You are officially on bedrest until further notice. Jarvis, order out for some of that soup we like, some cough drops, and popsicles."
He looks down at you.
"You want ice cream? What am I saying, of course you want ice cream. Jarvis, throw in a few pints of Stark raving hazelnuts and bunny tracks."
He grabs the remote for your tv, putting on your favorite movie and has dum-e wheel you in a box of tissues. He grabs some vaseline and cold medicine, along with a fresh cold water and your favorite flavor of sports drink.
"Now. I want you to lay back, I want you to stay cool, and I want you to get some rest. And you're a Stark, so staying cool should be no problem." He gives you a kiss on the forehead, then stands up to move all his work to stuff he can do at home, and tell Pepper to cancel or reschedule the rest so he can spend the rest of the day watching movies and tv shows with you between naps. You can hear him muttering to himself as he calls Steven over to come check on you. If you weren't so tired, you'd find it funny that the only person your dad trusts to be your family doctor is also a wizard.
"Can stop aliens from invading earth, I can make an arc reactor that can fit in the palm of my hand, how have we not cracked this cold and flu season thing yet?" he mutters, making a mental note to discuss it with the rest of the Avengers at the next team meeting. you drift off to sleep feeling a lot better than you did when you woke up, and thinking about debrief folders titled Avengers v. Rhinovirus.
#dad!tony#iron dad#drabbles#marvel drabbles#marvel x reader#marvel fluff#mcu x reader#mcu drabbles#mcu fluff#tony stark#tony stark x reader#tony stark drabbles#tony stark x stark!reader#tony stark x daughter!reader#tony stark x son!reader#guess who has the sniffles#tee hee!#hearing tony call me pumpkin has cured me instantly#turns out the avengers can beat the common cold#maybe the real cure for disease was the friendship they found along the way#but yeah no he'd have peter and harley alternate checking on you every thirty minutes#they're disinfected. they're masked up. they're wearing medical gloves. they're drowning everything in lysol wipes#peter is also kinda worried about getting sick but harley thinks all these precautions are dumb and would rather just get up in#your personal space#tony will allow neither of those things to happen#so yeah it's comfort food comfort movies comfort beverages to the max#he'll also offer to read you bedtime stories half as a joke but also completely seriously#sometimes you just have him take work calls in your room cause hearing him talk is so comforting#he jokes that he didn't realize his work was THAT boring#and you get to be like daaAAAAaaaddd....
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random throwback to fabio's response to casey saying he should've been black flagged for the whole open leathers situation
#'he is at home and he likes to fish' is truly superb#//#brr brr#heretic tag#current tag#i was reminded of this in a very roundabout way... seeing a social media graphic celebrating fabio making q2#which is like. yes that's nice. but that's also inherently extremely depressing lbr#and i was kinda thinking how... look obviously people don't ignore it and yes the novelty has worn off after last year#but it feels like what's happened to fabio should STILL be getting more attention than it is. like it is a major injustice#that also no past stars of the sport are regularly having hot takes about! they mostly just ignore him!#i do sometimes link casey and fabio in my head. roughly the same age gap to the all-time-great hazing them during their rookie seasons#the only riders within their manufacturers able to wring performance out of their bikes over the course of several seasons#who suffered a competitive decline as their manufacturers went the wrong way#now obviously casey's 2010 is nowhere close to as abysmal as fabio's 2024 but. y'know. and at least casey got to leave for pastures greener#anyway given all that. it is funny that like their one significant interaction is fabio dismissing casey as a fisher#which ironically is of course a deeply casey line. casey had a whole thing about how retired riders should maybe know to stfu#“i have seen the real face of some with whom i had a good relationship” EXTREMELY casey line#and thus the cycle of life continues#(though casey was obviously right here lol)#ofc the main difference between the pair of them is that fabio at heart is a lover and casey is. not that
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I have come back I know you guys have been starving
For the accession: revenge outfit Scorpius
Idk if I like it but it does it's job for now
#j for the last one I kinda love it tbh💞#yes by my logic the first thing he does after escaping a cult is go change into an even cuntier outfit#he's just real like that#my husband has returned from war and is now probably going to disappear for another 100000 years#erik if you don't kidnap gbä and keep him in your closet I swear to God#yes I could make a post talking about my thoughts abt the newest episode#but sometimes I like watching stuff and not stopping to ponder about whether it is well written or not#just for my own pease💞#redacted audio#redacted asmr#redactedverse#redacted scorpius#redacted brachium#redacted fanart#hmrhd arts
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Fans at the beginning: I wonder if it's BL
Meanwhile the main character: *fantasizes his wedding with a tall muscular vampire that if he bites him they'll be together forever*
Meanwhile the antagonist: mall goth bitch
#ok i know that wedding fantasy was only in the recent episode#but my boy has a body pillow for a boy band member be for real who is straight like that#its kinda funny how deacon fantasizes his straight romances by saving princess and shit#but when chase fantasizes a gay wedding hes like 'sometimes i pretend we're not related 🙄'#BOY-#cinderella boy#webtoon#chase hollow#buddy#mall goth#hes still remains nameless
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kinda thinking about how the women who serve as maternal figures/raise kids in yyh are never quite ready for it. genkai's an arguable exception, but like.. atsuko had yusuke at 15, shizuru's basically in charge of kazuma full time in her early 20s/late teens (depending on version) with very very absent parents, and even shiori is given a kid she wasn't expecting, in the form of an old, old demon rather than like. a regular, blank slate ass human baby. and although shiori seems to do quite well with kurama, kurama can never be honest with shiori about who he is, or much of what he's seen. if he was, it'd probably make things far more complicated and overwhelming. atsuko, no matter how much she cares for yusuke, Could Not Have Been and thus wasn't ready to have him at 15. her attempts to make the most of that situation have had middling success at best. shizuru has also been placed into a parental role. we don't really know how long she's been raising kuwabara, but that's.. probably still parentification anyway. she shouldn't have to do that, and she shouldn't have to do that so young. and i think some of her coarseness with kuwa is out of frustration with her own inexperience + inadequacy + uncertainty, his not cooperating, and their parents for putting this on her in the first place. the ones who know the full extent of their situation grow desperate and it squeaks out in unpleasant ways, and the one who seems unbothered by it is the only one who has no idea that she's in way over her head. and i mean. ok. gonna preface this by saying keiko is NOT yusuke's mom in any sense of the word. but she does take care of him in a way atsuko couldn't manage to. she's often looking after him and cleaning up after his messes and stuff. she takes him on as a responsibility, and that is, in a way, a caretaker role. not to say that it SHOULD be her responsibility, but it's how she ends up being.
and when the stress of trying to make someone take care of themselves or be kind or good or Whatever goes awry, again, the violence and arguing and distance and ugliness of caring for someone reveals itself.
and i wonder about that. for a series dedicated to physical fighting as a form of communication, what does it say that this extends to the complicated, quietly desperate situations of so many of the women/girls it depicts, whom our more central characters were shaped and raised by?
hell, even hiei touches on this, because hina loved hiei, but there was no way she was prepared for him, obviously, nor for the pain of losing him. rui (whom i also see as a sort of caretaker figure to hiei, inasmuch as either of them were caretakers) literally throws him off a cliff because she couldn't face down the village elders, and out of some mixture of care for hina and, likely, fear for her own survival. and the guilt and pain of that killed hina and deeply wounded rui.
it's like motherhood, this thing that's so often treated as sacred and beautiful, is a kind of stitched up, painful, eggshell-walking thing that hurts parent and child and it's just. oughh
#genuinely begging for discussion on this bc im too tired to think about it anymore but i think it's cool#yyh#yu yu hakusho#also apologies if any of the atsuko stuff's iffy im anime-only </3 i skimmed the wiki but. it's the wiki so grain of salt#atsuko urameshi#shizuru kuwabara#shiori minamino#keiko yukimura#genkai#yyh meta#<- i never tag stuff w that but i probably should..#this is making me a little emo about all of them but on the side more quietly kurama bc like. bro he loves his mom so much and he can't tel#her ANYTHING. houghhh she will never ever know him she will live and die within his lifetime and not know any of the big beautiful terrible#life of his that she's missed. god that fucking sucks dude wait#anyway something that's only grown in importance to me is how prickly the relationships in yyh can be. like damn they do love each other#and it's even mostly a good thing. but sometimes that means you're shitty to each other. sometimes you're not great at it yk#and the characters therein are complicated and flawed without feeling like it's a huge focus. like plenty of media go here's these fucked u#guys look at how they scuttle and that's cool fr but with yyh it feels so subtle and gentle and real. it's so personal and human and i love#it. even when it means hiei doesn't reunite with the gang at the end or when genkai never tells yusuke what he means to her#y'know? that stuff used to hurt me and now it hurts me in a good touching 'god i love people' kinda way. yeah
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brainless doodling
#some doodles with driverless drawing tablet lol#but it works!#it is kinda wonky like sometimes it doesnt register right#and no stylus shortcuts 😞it made me notice how much i use them specially in krita with the ugly ass brush wheel#i love drawing his head sideways so much dsfahdfkdsajk#i drew the werehog in the background layer im never finishing him he stayin in the unfinished dimension forever for reals#sonic the werehog#sonic the hedgehog#sth#wee my art i gues
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I feel bad for Starlo. (pt. 6)
I think the main thing we were supposed to see as Star's character flaw wasn't that he was acting proud/arrogant/reckless/badass (I mentioned that it's fine for him to act that way because he deserved it after everything good he did and obviously I still mean it 110%), but how that proud, charming guy was never the real him. He literally lost himself trying to feel worthy and please everyone in town. For years he's been acting the role (for a noble cause) but the price was him losing touch with the nerd he is.
Yet STILL, if only everyone had been a bit more gentle with him, I bet he'd have toned it down during the WE section, and even before that. But they all decided to let him know the truth at the worst possible time, right when he was supposed to make Clover his deputy. Right after they attacked the kid because they were jealous. It was supposed to be the PEAK of Starlo's day and they randomly threw the "we never liked any of this" bomb at him instead of trying to talk it out BEFORE things escalated. I'd be pissed too.
Oh yeah...
... his brother doesn't take him seriously apparently and doesn't realize that staying positive and strong 24/7 is tougher than it looks, especially with Starlo's insecurities (and yeah being a farmer is hard work, but so is being in Star's position; on the contrary, it's even TOUGHER) ...
Orion should try being an entertainer for a day and see what it's like, let alone doing it for years
...Solomon says how Star thought him and Crestina didn't support his life choices...
... and how he rarely talks to his family...
...and it suddenly came to me: in all these years, they didn't ever bother telling him that they did support him? They didn't bother trying to reach out to him more? Understand his passion (Ceroba doesn't get it either; once again, I don't blame Starlo for caring about Clover so much, that kid understood)? Have an honest talk?
No wonder Star stopped interacting with them for the most part. Maybe him feeling worthless came from his family? Who knows (or he was bullied as a kid for being a nerd). In any case, he clearly had to deal with these feelings by himself.
This man's been through some stuff.
P.S. I know he has flaws like everyone, but you've gotta ask yourself the important question: WHY? where did all this come from? But clearly nobody in his life ever asked themselves this. So it all kept building up till he almost killed his deputy for... status. He was SO desperate to feel valued and get his friends back (who made him feel less alone.. but ultimately just left when he needed someone the most, at least ONE person) that he was ready to go all the way to achieve what he'd been lacking his entire life: *feeling like he MATTERED.*
I wonder If he'll ever go 100% back to being his true self. Slim chances :'( this is him now. Half farmer half sheriff
#undertale yellow#uty#starlo uty#uty starlo#why is this character so tragic#without being tragic#i mean the “Ceroba” type of tragic#I'm no psychologist but I sure know feelings like this stem from childhood/adolescence#I'm talking bout the fact starlo literally decided that his life purpose would be pretending to be a sheriff. I repeat. PRETENDING#aka someone important#bc he never felt important#he tried lying to everybody and especially himself#that he was 'great' and 'cool'#bc nobody ever made him feel that way#plus ceroba ditched him for someone more 'serious' she had just met#I have to write about the sentence above soon#like I'm not saying Solomon & crestina are terrible people#But parents..?#Wellll...#I kinda sometimes imagine Star being made fun of by his peers and so he'd always retreat to his room and cry alone#That is#Until he found those western cassettes (I imagine it happened when he was a teen)#So instead of crying#He'd just distract himself for hours and hours#And pretend he was someone with more value who everyone respected#That's how the persona came to be#And so he began to lose touch with his real self more and more#As well as his feelings and problems#Until he just snapped#I can't anymore
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Hey!! So turns out a video I made between a certain “well beloved but highly sensitive/emotionally reactive T.V” and an “orange haired inkling-turned-human” has managed to sweep my YouTube channel and accumulate 100k VIEWS!! THAT’S A LOT OF PEOPLE ACTUALLY?? My most widely viewed video EVER to exist in this moment in time?? AAAAA?? Not even mentioning the various comments and staggering increase in subs! It’s so much more then what I expected or even prepared for—might even be the most impactful thing to happen for me this year <3
…aside from graduating high school + the social connections I’ve been fortunate to make lol
BUT THE POINT IS I’d been closely monitoring the YouTube growth through the entirety of October. It’s make me smile like a dork, gawk in astonishment, dance frantically in my room from the energy boosts, and grow courage to stop being so selective/self-conscious with what I wish to share with the world! It’s kept my ambitions going!
I needed to find some way to celebrate the occasion and express my thanks—because I can’t NOT acknowledge this milestone jksjskp. Typically I try to avoid getting tunnel visioned focusing on the metrics/numbers. Mr. Puzzles had already demonstrated how much those things can mess with the minds of creatives. Caring too much about chasing views or placing your artistic value in attention seeking gets damaging. But at same time…it’s hard to deny the sense of pride the 100k achievement has filled me with. I understand that reaching 100k views doesn’t immediately make me any “better” or “worse” then I was before. I’m still just me! It only helps me feel seen by others—and that’s all I really needed. To hear some nice words & receive reminders that my ideas are cared about. So thank you SMG4 fandom for that, seriously thank you.
Please accept this Mr. Puzzle drawing as a way of sharing the happiness around. He’s so entertaining. Love him for simply existing. So glad we can all collectively be super attached to him (and the rest of the SMG4 cast of course). Can’t wait to see more incredible artworks from the fandom :)
Just incase anyone is confused by my vague description over which “animated video” I’m referring to here—hopefully this photo will help clarify lol. It’s this one!! Sorry about not outright stating the title at the start, I got carried away with writing!!
I’ve been in an odd place mentally when thinking about it. Wondering to myself if any of the attention is deserved considering it’s not even fully colored and could be dismissed as “low effort” content (despite taking several days making it). It’s easy to get into a trap of comparing yourself to others and questioning how much of the videos success is based on your skills, sheer algorithm luck, or only because you used popular characters and catered to a specific fandom. And then judging yourself by looking at other peoples videos. I’ve seen several artists post higher quality works then my own but it somehow gets less views. So why did mine succeed when others (who should have gotten just as much attention if not more) didn’t? Sometimes you feel like you’ve unfairly robbed them of that chance to be seen. However I’ve realized that I can’t ever expect views to be consistent—and comparing is pointless. So why worry about it or feel inadequate? I mean it’s pretty common for funny cat videos to go viral, so who am I to question the system lol. “Popular” YouTube videos can range from a passion project which took 7+ artists��to a clip of Toad singing Chandelier or a nonsensical Vine sketch. Anything can happen when it’s the internet! And just-so-happened my video was chosen. I should stay glad about that and get rid of all the overanalyzing. So that’s what I’ve chosen to do :)
#OKAY SO SO SO actually started doodling this once the video was around 98k this morning#it wasn’t even meant to be art specifically designed to celebrate the milestone at first#I just wanted to draw the funky fella who makes me laugh#but as you can see that changed up fast jksjksp#I was under the impression that my video wouldn’t reach near 100k until December UH?? WHAT HAPPENED MY PREDICTION THWARTED??#seems I’ve severally underestimated how long the traction would continue for geez wow uh#people sure do enjoy comedy gotta love ‘em laughs and giggles#I CAN’T BELIEVE WE REACHED IT THO. THAT’S INSANE TO ME—ALL THE SUPPORT AND COMMENTS AND SUBS#thank you SMG4 fandom I would’ve never fathomed the algorithm to carry it so far like this#you wanna know the real kicker?#things would have gone so differently for the channel if I didn’t wrestle with my anxiety & post there#because there was a point during that day where I fullheartedly figured it would cause me to loose subs#I was kinda terrified ngl#this goes to show that you should never hold yourself back from sharing different aspects of your interests#you don’t need to confine yourself to just one thing#or to strive only to make the most high quality videos ever (I put that pressure on myself a bit too much nowadays)#sometimes it’s the simple ideas that manage to charm people#and those who see the effort will stick around to support you. You just need to trust yourself during the process and take that chance :)#EWWWW MUSHY GUSHY SENTIMENTALITY CLOGGING UP THE ATTENTION HERE#whatever happened to keeping the focus on ✨the star✨ who made it all possible to begin with huuuu??#show a bit more gratitude to the charming TV who boosted the viewership in the first place…don’t be so self absorbed with morals lonesome 😒#what is this some sort of My Little Pony episode oh pleaseeeeee 🙄#<- all of that was a simulation of Puzzles interjecting and nagging a bit lol. I’d imagine he’s tried of my nonstop nonsense#….yea the Puzzle brainrot is reaching maximum severities. So there’s high chance I’ll be animating him more down the line :3#stick around to find out!!#hplonesome art
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God q!BBH is fascinating. His paranoia especially. q!Bad has called himself paranoid in character btw. multiple times. but the one example that immediately comes to mind is when he was talking to q!Aypierre. When people call him paranoid he doesn’t really say “Nuh uh” (at least not seriously - he’s become a little more self-aware) he says “okay maybe I am, maybe I’m not. but don’t you understand why?”
for q!BBH the price of potentially overreacting and hurting his friends’ feelings with his lack of trust is significantly outweighed by the price of an egg fucking dying because he decided to relax. He has been the deciding factor in a life-or-death situation for an egg multiple times. And his overreactions have saved lives. Obviously his developing belief that he’s like the Lone Responsible Caretaker of the Eggs is like blatantly incorrect but it didn’t come into existence in a void. It isn’t just one of his inventions it’s a consequence of other parents putting (whether purposely or accidentally) a lot of pressure on him that he tried and failed to escape from.
So he doesn’t care if he’s paranoid, he doesn’t care if his distrust hurts people, he doesn’t care about what’s reasonable or not - he cares about the eggs being alive. And if being unreasonable has kept the eggs alive in the past then damn you better believe he’s only going to get more unreasonable. And he’s not going to be sorry about it either, not while he feels responsible for every single child on the island.
#also people in real life experience paranoia so when people call q!bbh annoying or stupid for it… kinda makes me go Hm.#coming from someone w a personality disorder btw#and while I don’t experience paranoia as a symptom there are other aspects of q!bbh that I def relate to#idk I guess I’m just#like yeah sure he got defensive at q!Bagi and she probably didn’t expect him to go off on her like that but#experiencing paranoia does not make you less deserving of being acknowledged yknow?#anyway sometimes the way q!BBH is talked about kinda tows the line of ableism#am i being crazy rn? i don’t know#this is mostly about older twitter stuff that I’ve seen cropping up from wayyy back#I’ve had this in the drafts for a while but his convo w Bagi made it relevant again
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