#he's holding a bread knife btw

[omnihue]

shrimp KAITO 🦐

inspired by ricedeity’s shrimp vocaloid designs on twitter! here’s a link to shrimp miku :)

[inactivewattpadauthor]

Yandere Shang Tsung x Reader: Wrapped Around You (Angst Lemon)

Warning⚠️: This oneshot contains a NON CON scene with a yandere. Angst.

First one in 4 years. Don't like that; don't read, don't comment, keep scrolling.

Or if you want to read for the plot without reading the lemon look for the ⚠️ start and end.

Bonus at the end btw ~~~~~~~~~~~~ The dining hall was so chilly to you. Especially because of the dress you were put in. Or it could be the anxiety.

Is that why the room seemed smaller to you? You could've sworn this place was large enough to hold events. Every room you were in just seems smaller.

You're scared.

"Y/n, darling. Why aren't you eating your meal? This is the finest steak you could find in Outworld." You can tell he's staring at you from across the table.

Your eyes were blanklessly focused on the fancy dinner plate before your eyes, but you weren't thinking about the food, no.

Really, the thought of any food right now made you the opposite of the corresponding feeling. Nauseous.

Though ever since you were seized by him and taken, and though you were barely fed at first, you never had the urge to eat.

The food would look appetizing if it was your last meal.

You picked your fork up just to somewhat appease him and poke your food. You could make out the perfectly cooked mashed potatoes, some fine bread rolls, and greens. The steak looked medium well and juicy, but you assume the cows, if Outworld even have those, were different from Earthrealm.

Picking the knife up, you sighed and went to give the steak a try. You felt his eyes boring into you, and you tried not to give it any thought.

Chewing, chewing, chewing, and chewing you go. Not because the steak, it was like you lost your ability to consume. The meat is delicious, otherwise. But you began poking at your food again.

"Not hungry?" He coos at you.

"Never am." You coldly applied, subconsciously ruining the perfectly scooped mash potatoes with your silverware.

Servants entered the hall with the alcohol bottle. The atmosphere felt less tight now that someone else was here. But who are you kidding? They're no heroes.

But the wine they pour into your glass would make them one in your book.

The second they stop pouring the rich liquid in your cup, you'd grab it. Eyes on you as you slowly tilted your head back to down the alcohol and get it in your system as soon as possible.

That glass was empty within ten seconds. Shang Tsung sets his glass down after a small sip and observes you with no certain expression.

"Another one, please." You set your glass down and looked at the masked servant. They were hesitant, but they listened.

Filling the glass full took too long for you. When it was close to being full, you snatched the cup away and repeated. You drank your second glass faster this time.

After it was stained pink and empty, you pushed it to the servant. Just as the servant was about to listen to the silent command-

"That's enough!" Shang Tsung hisses out at the servant and motions for them to begone out of sight.

After the giant doors closed, the hurtful silence was back. At least you felt bold enough to look into his eyes. You couldn't tell what he was thinking, nor would you have cared.

He was the one to break off the eye contact to take another small sip of his drink and set it aside. "I don't need you intoxicated tonight."

You weren't sure if that was him looking out for you.

Standing from his chair and neatly pushing it back in, he eyes you again. "Come." He motions his head for you to stand and follow him.

"Where?" You shivered.

"My chambers. So we can talk." He answered simply.

This man is so good at bullshitting.

"We're talking right now, are we not?" You spoke back.

"I reassure you. We're just talking. You have my word." He places a hand on his chest and dips his head. It makes him appear sincere.

Either way, you couldn't fight him. "Okay." You sniffled and got up.

The man offers his arm to you, and you take it as he leads you upstairs to his dorm. He was muttering things to you with his charming smile, but you couldn't pay attention.

And when you two enter, you look back at him and see he quietly closes the double doors and locks it with a key that he would then vanish in his hand.

Yet, nothing has crossed your mind.

"Sit." His hand gestures to the bed. Walking slowly, you sit at the very edge and only kept your head down. His feet taps on the floor as he would sit beside you and way too close.

A hand rested on your shoulder, and you froze, not wanting to shake anymore and show how scared you are.

"You're so beautiful." He whispers before leaning in.

"When do I return to my cell?" Your voice whispered shakily. You stopped him at least. For the moment.

"Oh, a cell doesn't suit you, Y/n." Shang brushes your hair out your face full of anxiety and fatigue. Again he leans to you and you flinched back.

"What do you want to talk about?!" Your panic was visible. And all he does it laugh.

"You already know I was dishonest."

You knew.

Uncomfortable, you got up and slowly walked to the door. You really didn't want to do it. You felt shitty the moment you were brought to the island.

He doesn't stop you. Only watches as you reach for the doorknob.

Attempting to open it, you realized it was locked. And it wasn't like the door in your home where you could turn the lock and leave your room. This one has a keyhole...

But he teleported that key to gods know where.

Hands rubbing your sides sensually, you feel him behind you. "Why don't you just come back to bed?" He murmurs in your ear.

...(⚠️ START)

You started to dissociate as you were laid carefully on your back. Shang props your legs up before looming over you to attack your neck with love kisses and nibbles.

A hand lifts your given dress and cups your swimsuit area, which makes you wince. The small sound seemed to encourage him.

Giving your neck another kiss, he lifts his head to look at you. You got to look back at him and feel the despair kicking in.

"Please." Your eyes were clouded.

Wiping the tear, he sighs softly. "Don't cry. I won't be rough with you. You can trust me on that."

And you didn't. You could pray he was, but it wouldn't change anything. You just wished you were home with your friends. You missed Liu.

Slipping down your panties from under your dress, he looks at your face before slowly easing a finger inside you to test the waters.

Your eyes shut, and you winced. Perfect.

He adds another digit in before repeatedly pulling and pushing them in the wet entrance, fingering you to get you ready.

Shang really is keeping to his word this time.

"You're such a good girl." He praises as you weren't fighting at all. You just kept a really tensed position, clenching around his fingers. Your breathing was unsteady from panic.

"Please!" You wheezed. This would be your last plea for him to release you. A snake wouldn't listen to a poor bunny crying to be freed as the reptile wraps tightly around it, squeezing the life out the helpless critter.

"Relax." The sorcerer coos, still trying to prep you. "You'll make it hurt if you're tensed like this."

Soon enough, he got you out of the dress he made you wear for him. He quietly observed how beautiful you are without covering. All while ignoring how frantic you were.

He would get undressed as well. He's a handsome man with hideous deeds.

You whined out more as he climbs over you. At first, he presses his forehead against yours and tries to shush you. He'd force you to cuddle up to him before he starts.

Was this what Sonya had to go through? No. Sonya is a stronger woman. And she got rescued sooner. Good for her that she doesn't have to face the same fate as you will.

The villain was back to kissing your neck again and nuzzling it, hands caressing you everywhere. You were involuntarily damp between your legs and when he feels it he chuckles.

He takes it as you're ready.

Feeling his tip right against you, he rests his forehead against yours. Gripping your chin, he forces his tongue in your mouth the same time you feel his cock slowly being pushed through your poor walls.

The kiss muffled your brief cries, and your nails were scratching his shoulders, eventually his back as you would hug around him for some sort of support.

He'd still hold up to his word.

His dick all the way inside you, he held still. He didn't start ramming you. He wasn't going to break you just like that and make you sob throughout the assault.

Why is he being nice this time? He's in a position to cause more pain to you but he doesn't.

Breaking the kiss, he examines your face. You had dried tears but your breathing was still labored, and you do your best to accommodate to the cock in your organs.

One experimental thrust was given. Seeing your face blushed in the reaction without much pain was all he needed to see.

"Mm.... fuck..." You moaned under your breath, and Shang Tsung hears it well.

"Is this to your liking?" He continues to gently hump you. You damn well weren't going to answer that question. You didn't need to either way. He can tell it felt good for you.

Again, he presses you back into the mattress and kisses you as he sets a good pace fucking you. His cock moving in and out your cunt as his tongue pets yours, dominating it like what he's doing right now.

It felt like this was going on for hours. Being the sensitive girl you are, you came multiple times. But it didn't stop until finally he puts his weight onto you and clamps down onto your neck.

At first you were startled until you felt spurts flowing inside you and to your precious womb.

...(⚠️ END)

The black haired man pulls out and lays beside you, catching his breath.

The shame washed over you as the heat died down. And you curled up on your side, facing away from him.

Dark eyes looking at your back he places a soft hand on you. "How was that, dear?"

He wasn't expecting a full breakdown from you like that. You just started to cry. "I just want to go back to my cell. Please!"

Caught off guard he sits up. "Was I too rough with you? Believe I was trying to make it enjoyable for you, I-"

Resting a hand on your lower half for reassurance was a mistake as you reacted terribly. 

 "Very well... Let's get you cleaned up. I will take you to the dungeon if that's really what you wish for." He listens.

*Bonus!*

"Is she alive, Lord Raiden?"

"She's in a deep slumber, Liu Kang. I see no wounds on her, but we should probably let her rest. Elder Gods know what she had to endure."

The familiar voices brought you out of the unconscious state. Grumbling, everything was so bright. You felt like you finally touched the grass and experience sunlight for the first time in forever.

"She is awake!"

𝘖𝘩𝘩, 𝘓𝘪𝘶! 𝘔𝘺 𝘧𝘳𝘪𝘦𝘯𝘥!

"Liu Kang? Lord Raiden?" You blinked.

"We're here, Y/n L/n." The Thunder God answers.

Liu helps you stand up and brushes the dirt off you. "We apologize for how long it took to come to your aid! Did he hurt you?"

"Who- Oh. No..." You didn't sound that reassuring. Liu known you for awhile.

"Are you sure? You can-"

"Just malnutrition." You cut him off. You didn't want to talk about it. Not now at least. But it was still pretty recent. The emotional wound was fresh and stung like hell.

Tears appeared in your eyes just thinking about it.

"Y/n?" Liu rubs your shoulder out of comfort. You hugged him. You needed it from your friend.

"What he'd do, Y/n?" Caring arms wrapped back around you, this time from a good man.

"Nothing. I really missed you." You partially lied.

[something-tofightfor]

Hey! This is for your weekend writing event- LOVE the prompt ideas you gave btw and your writing is seriously brilliant!

So here’s my request- Javi G + Spooky! Would love to see your take on how this sweet puppy of a man deals with a spooky situation, no pressure of course💕

Ok, so this one was VERY fun. It went in a little bit different a direction than your request, but I think you'll still like it.

Thanks for your request!

This is my "Not Like The Movies" pairing, but you can read this one without reading that story, and it'll still make sense.

WC: 1010

“So you are telling me that …” He paused, frowning, the lines between his brows deeper than you’d ever seen them before. “That for an entire month, the goal is to find things and places that might scare you … and then go and visit them?” 

“Yes, Javi. That’s what Halloween is.” You sighed, reaching out and pushing the curls away from his forehead. “Aren’t there haunted places in Mallorca? Haunted houses? Scary decorations? Some of the best movies have horror elements in them, so you can’t tell me -” 

“Yes. Yes, we have those. But I…” He sighed. “There’s a difference between watching things at home and being in the middle of them.” 

“Wait a minute…” You sat up straighter, lips parting as your eyes went wide. “Are you … Javi, are you easily spooked?” He didn’t answer right away, the man’s lower lip pushed out into the pout that you couldn’t resist. “There’s nothing wrong with that.  I just didn’t…” 

“Did I ever tell you about the scariest thing that ever happened to me?” He took a deep breath, wetting his lips and shaking his head back and forth. “I don’t think I ever have because I do not like to talk about it, but …”

“You haven’t.” Biting your lip, you leaned in, reaching for him with one hand. “But I’m listening.” 

“My house … the compound?” You nodded, waiting. “That was not our only home. When I was a little boy, we lived further inland, in a house that was very, very old.” He took your hand, lacing your fingers with his and squeezing. “My mamá was home with me for most of the time, and we would play games where I would hide and she would find me.” Ok, this is normal… how is it scary? “I do not remember this well, but …”

“It’s alright, Javi. Take your time.” Placing your other hand on his knee, you shook your head. “But what?”

“She told me once that she could always find me easily when I was in one wing of the house because she would … hear me.” Hear you? “I would talk to things that were not there.” What? “She would find me in rooms, facing the corners or looking into closets, and I would be talking. At first, she thought it was to myself, but then one day…” He leaned in, his eyes widening. “One day I told her that I was talking to a woman that used to live in the house. Someone that told me about a secret room in the servant’s quarters, and a doorway that even she didn’t know was there.” 

“Javi, what?” Your heart was racing and you scooted even closer on the edge of the couch, head moving back and forth slowly. “You were friends with a ghost?”

“I was. But as I got older, I apparently saw and spoke to this ghost less, until one day…” He closed his eyes, shuddering, the hand not holding yours reaching up to grip the back of his neck. “One day I was in the kitchen, getting something to eat. It was very late at night, and…” He paused, closing his eyes. “This is something I remember very clearly, you know?” 

You didn’t. You’d never had a paranormal experience like the one that Javi was talking about, and so you had no idea where he was going - or how intense it had been. 

“I opened a drawer to get a knife out. I was making toast, you see, and wanted to put jam on it.” He was staring into your eyes again, the man’s chest rising and falling rapidly. “I turned away to get the bread, and just as I turned back…” There was a long pause and then Javi spoke again, his voice dropping. “The drawer opened all by itself, and when I reached for it to close it, it…” 

It what? You were leaning in even closer, breath catching in your throat as you waited to see what had happened to Javi that night in the kitchen. 

“It slammed shut, and then I -” He moved as he spoke, surging forward and pulling his hand free to push you backwards, the man’s body covering yours while his lips moved to your ear. “And then I ran from the kitchen and into my parents’ bedroom to tell my mother this same story I am telling you right now, though she was not surprised. She was just angry that I woke her up to tell her a story that I completely made up.” 

You yelped as he made contact with you, the sound turning into a groan as you smacked the back of his shoulder. Asshole. God, I cannot believe him… Javi’s words trailed off into laughter as he kissed your cheek and then your jaw before pulling back enough to stare down at you. 

There was a gleam in his eyes, his lips quirked to one side. “Did I scare you? Did you believe my ghost story?” 

Rolling your eyes, you pushed on the man’s shoulder again, groaning. “You got me, Javi.” And he had - your pulse still elevated, mind trying to catch up with what he was saying. “I should have known that this was a setup.” 

He laughed, too, kissing you on the mouth quickly and then sitting up, both hands on your shoulders up help you up, too. “I really do think our house was haunted, though. I never talked to ghosts, but…” 

“Very funny. Maybe you should write a scary screenplay next.” He grinned, shoulders rising and falling in reply. 

“See? We do not need to go anywhere for Halloween… I can tell you scary stories right here in my apartment.” 

You stood, bending over and pressing a kiss to the top of his head and giving yourself a few seconds to enjoy the scent of his shampoo. “Absolutely not, Javier. I’m going to find the scariest haunted house I can, and then we’ll see who’s laughing by the end of the night.” 

[snickiebear]

If this inspires anything in you, and if you have the time to write it, I hope we can see how you respond to the following prompt:

Kakashi is the god Sakura has to eat and kill.

Lordt help us!

HAHAHAHA MITTENS!! this is literally one of the best prompts ever. thank you SO MUCH!!

i literally had to sit down and outline this so make sure i gave it justice LMAO also, did a little research on japanese kami! which is so interesting btw :))

side note! this is also on ao3 bc i really, really loved it

xiv.

It begins with a girl (doesn’t it always?). A girl made woman who is nothing but smiles and laughter, unfiltered sunshine and the smell of flowers on the warm breeze.

She is good, she is brave, she is kind.

And she grows, that girl made woman, she grows and her eyes open to the world around her. To the hatred of the mortal, to the disease of the gods.

She holds her mother close as she dies in her arms, her father off to war.

They never find his body.

She is the only survivor of her village, war and wreckage in her wake.

This woman made once of sweet sighs and feather light touches learns to survive, learns to harden herself against the world, to bare her teeth and not her throat, to love the scars and hard muscle of her once too soft body.

She meets a woman with too ancient eyes for a face so young and the woman smiles at her, it is a horrible, wretched look. It is a beautiful, timeless look. “Oh, you.” She murmurs, voice old and young, standing slowly. “You’ll do just fine.”

And the girl made woman bares her teeth in a smile, a warning, tilting her head to the side, “Oh? And what shall I do just fine?”

The woman assesses her, amber eyes shining with something cruel, “You will be my avenger, girl.”

And the girl made woman, well, she rather likes the sound of that.

xxiii.

She sees him for the first time at the market, it’s a cloudy day, the streets full of people and the carts slowly selling out of the limited goods available.

The very land has been dying for years now. The mortals do not know it, but Sakura does. Less and less crops, dying plants, brain soil.

The thought itself brings a slight smile of fondness to her face.

But Sakura sees him for the first time at the market, and she knows who he is, what he is. She was under Tsunade’s tutelage for years. Sakura knows a god, a kami, when she sees one, feels one.

So, she walks, shoulders back, spine straight, loose and fluidly until her boot purposely catches on a crack in the cobblestoned road and she’s airborne with a sharp gasp—

Until two strong hands wrap around her forearms, steadying her gently. Sakura looks up, face flushed and eyes wide as she makes eye contact with the Shinigami, who looks at her in concern.

The god takes the form of a tall, broadly shouldered man with a mess of gray hair. Onyx eyes stare at her and they are so black she can see her reflection. Sakura fights the full body shudder that threatens to overtake her.

She has stared into the eyes of a dying god before. Staring into a living one’s should be no different.

“Are you okay?” He asks and his voice rumbles through her, her heart pounding without her consent.

“Yes,” She breathes and offers a shy but sweet smile, slowly taking a step back. He lets his hands drop, fingers grazing her bare skin. She ignores the goosebumps that erupt in his wake. “Thank you very much…”

“Hatake Kakashi,” The liar says, eyes crinkling from over his mask. “And you are?”

“Haruno Sakura,” She replies easily, tucking her hair behind her ear. The Shinigami holds out her basket of goods and she takes it, brushing her fingers against his deliberately, calculatingly.

The wretched kami gives her another eye crinkle, taking a step back himself, “Aa, a pleasure then, Haruno-san.”

Forcing a blush, Sakura waves off the honorific, “Please, just Sakura.”

“Then I am simply Kakashi,” And with a duck of his head, the fraud turns and ambles away.

Sakura turns also, disappearing into the crowd of much too skinny humans, too poor, too stupid. She allows herself to grin, wide and unfiltered, and with teeth. And that scaled, clawed, fanged thing inside her peeks its eye open and purrs.

xvi.

Tsunade— or at least that is what she wants Sakura to call her — takes a long swig from her jug and cackles to herself. “I was right when I picked you, you know.”

Sakura glances up from her scroll of poisons, “You still have yet to tell me why it took only one look to think I can do whatever avenging you want done.”

Swirling the liquid in the jug once more, Tsunade chuckles, “Call it intuition, yeah?”

She huffs, snapping the scroll shut and stealing the jug from her master, taking a long drink herself. It is horribly bitter and disgustingly tart, and Tsunade laughs herself hoarse at the look on Sakura’s face.

“You’re going to do great, mighty, quiet things.” Tsunade says after a long silence. Sakura looks at her curiously. “You will bring war upon earth, disrupt the very heavens. Sweet child, you only know a taste of the power you could hold.”

And Sakura, well, she’s been alone since she was eight years old and surrounded by disease ridden corpses, she’s stolen and cheated and bartered her way through survival. She knows her way around a knife, a piece of glass, a sharp rock.

She has spilt blood just to eat for the night.

“You’ll teach me,” It is not a question.

That cruel, beautiful smile unfurls on her master’s face, “Of course, Avenger. Tell me what you want to know.”

“Everything.” Sakura breathes, demands, pleads.

A soft, aching laugh. “Very well, come here and listen closely.”

And Sakura is a clever girl made woman, she listens to everything Tsunade says, and everything she does not.

So, when Tsunade leaves her alone for the night, Sakura stares at the ceiling of the cheap Inn they are staying in and allows herself to smirk.

xxiii.

She sees him every time she goes to the market after that. He crinkles his eyes at her with a, “Good morning, Sakura-san.”

And in response Sakura blushes and murmurs a sweet, “Hello Kakashi-san.”

It goes like this for weeks until he changes their routine, leaning against one of the carts, tossing an apple into the air. There is only one farmer who can now produce apples, and even then the fruit is weak, no longer crispy and juicy.

The very land, the very life of this village is being drained away. Just as the other villages Sakura has traveled through. There will always be consequences to her actions, she supposes.

Kakashi tosses her the apple and Sakura makes sure to fumble with it before clutching it close to her chest, a teasing smile on her lips, “Kakashi-san, this is new.”

“Mah,” He hums, shrugging, “Just didn’t want you to miss out on your usual, is all.”

Sakura smiles, tucking the apple into her basket, the usual contents dwindled down to a simple jar of jam, a measly loaf of bread, and now the apple. She would need to make this quick and move towns soon.

“Say, would you like to come to lunch with me?” It’s a shot in the dark but she’s hoping that Tsunade was right when she said Sakura was infuriatingly charming. “I understand if you would not like—"

Kakashi cuts her off with a wave of his hand and a friendly look in his eye. Sakura wonders, idly, what he would taste like freshly baked and seasoned. “I am not one to turn down free food, of course.”

She laughs, a light and tittering thing and bares her throat the slightest bit before looping arms with him, “I shall lead the way then.”

Luckily, she has some dried meat and left over vegetables to make something decent and she smiles as him as she sits.

“You’re a healer.” Is what he says, eyeing the herbs and the bandages she had left out.

Sakura shrugs, “I try to lessen pain,” It is one of the many things Tsunade had left her.

He looks at her as if she is something new and so very interesting and she knows what he sees. A thing of life, a thing of preservation, has invited a creature of death, a creature of destruction into its domain, and allows that dark creature to live there.

It is what she wants him to see. Sakura smiles with teeth and she knows he does not see the wolf that sits in front of him.

xvi.

“Dodge!” Tsunade barks harshly and Sakura just barely avoids a direct hit, her skin still burning from the way the air sizzles from her master’s blow.

Sakura twists and flips backwards to gain some space between them, thighs quaking and sweat pouring as she pants, chest heaving. “I fucking am!” She bites back.

“Do it faster.” And then Tsunade is in her space, uppercutting and a blow to her stomach, sending Sakura flying into the corpse of trees behind them.

But Sakura is used being beaten down and she snarls loudly, landing on all fours, fingers digging deep into the ground before she lunges upwards, narrowing avoiding Tsunade’s next hit before spinning horizontally and lashing out with her foot.

And for the first time, Sakura lands a hit on Tsunade; sending her stumbling back, golden blood bleeding down her face.

She lands, gasping for breath, knees collapsing out from under her as she stares wide eyed as her master wipes blood and sweat from her face with the back of her hand. Her amber eyes sharpen to knife points as she grins, feral and oh so wild, “Very good, Sakura. Now we’re making progress.”

Despite her exhaustion, Sakura smirks, tasting blood and salt and victory. “Think you can handle more, old lady?”

“Don’t push your luck, brat.” Tsunade smirks, stalking towards Sakura to pull her up, “Now let me see that jaw of yours. And the stomach, the hell did I tell you about the sto-“

“I know,” She snaps, rolling her eyes as her body throbs something fierce. She allows herself the weakness of leaning into Tsunade’s as they trudge back to their small cottage. “I’ll do better.”

“Good.” They leave it at that. Then, “That was a good hit, my pupil.”

And Sakura, well, she’s feeling indulgent, so she smiles, a slight twitch of the lips as she murmurs, “Thank you, shishou.”

xxiv.

She finds him at the usual spot, draped over a branch like a limp curtain, book in hand. Sakura is still not quite over the fact that the death god reads awfully written porn, but at this point in her life, nothing can truly shock her.

Sakura is well past expectations.

Hiking up her pants, she climbs up the tree and to the branch he’s lounging on, straddling it so her back is to the trunk. Kakashi makes a curious noise when she pulls out her book from the waistline of her pants, “I never took you as an Icha Icha reader, Sakura-chan.”

Peering over the top of her book, Sakura quirks a brow, “If you can read porn, so can I.” A pause as she turns the page, “Plus you’re reading Paradise, I’m reading Violence. Two very different pieces of literature.”

What she will not tell him is that Tsunade taught her how to read with these books, she’s memorized every page, paragraph, and line written.

“You wound me so,” He sighs, going back to his book.

Comfortable silence descends upon them and the only sounds are of nature and the rustle of paper. Time passes and she cannot help the slight twitch of her lips whenever Kakashi giggles at a certain part. It is nice, this quiet.

But she knows it will not last. She will not allow it.

And like an omen, low rumbling of thunder rolls through their quiet, small droplets landing on her hand before the rain steadily picks up. Sakura snaps the book shut and shimmies down the tree, Kakashi landing soundly next to her.

“My place?” She asks, though she knows the answer.

Kakashi intertwines their hands, gently and slowly, his hand encompassing her own as he looks at her, dark eyes reflecting the sky as lightning strikes. Something hot pools deep in her belly when she makes eye contact with him.

And she knows. She knows that she has him.

They stand in her small cottage, dripping and studying each other before they move as one, ripping at each other’s clothes, all lips, teeth, and tongue.

She claws at his back when he thrusts into her, rough and unyielding. The rain pounds outside as her back arches and he groans deep and rasping.

He falls asleep, his face pressed into the crook of her neck and Sakura allows herself to smirk, the taste of glory on her tongue once more.

xiv.

Sakura glowers and bares her teeth at the woman, “You still haven’t fuckin’ told me what we’re supposed to be doing.”

Truly, the only reason why Sakura is even here is because of the free food and shelter. She is well aware that nothing is free in this world, Sakura has learned that the hard way.

The woman tilts her head, studying keenly and Sakura rears her head in a snarl. But the woman’s lips pick up at the corner, “What’s your name girl?”

“Sakura.” She bites out, fingers curling into fists. Glancing around the tavern, she notes the exits, the windows, the people who could be an issue. Then again, she’s sitting across the biggest threat in the room. “And yours?”

The woman hums, “Call me Tsunade.”

“And what am I supposed to be doing here?” She grounds out. Sakura nearly bites the woman when two strong hands clamp down on her shoulders, the woman’s face inches from her own.

“You are the catalyst, girl. The commination that will teach the world the very meaning of power.” Sakura’s eyes sharpen at the last word and Tsunade nods. “You like that, hm? I will teach you then, Sakura. And you will enact my vengeance on the heavens itself.”

Sakura stares, tension slowly melting from her body as she stares at this woman, at this savior. And she thinks, she remembers how cold her mother’s body was, the look of grief her father wore when he left.

She remembers tripping over the bodies of friends, of neighbors, half coherent and sickly.

Looking at Tsunade, Sakura licks her lips, “And what will you teach me?”

“How to turn that rage into a dagger and slit gods’ throats with it.” The woman purrs and Sakura smiles.

xxiv.

She wakes to a freezing cold chest to her back and puffs of air on her neck, just as she has since that night.

It is exactly as Tsunade said it would be; fishing. Lure, hook, and reel.

Sakura lets herself smile with teeth, a smug and sharp thing before she slowly extracts herself from the tangle of limbs they had become. The Shinigami slumbers in her bed, wrapped in her blankets.

Leaning against the doorframe with crossed arms, she looks at the god who she has fallen in love with. He loves her with just as much ferocity, she knows. And despite it all, she finds herself not quite hesitating when she goes to dig through her cabinets, finding the small nine pedaled flower. It once had ten and after this morning it will only have eight.

It is as if sinking into a familiar skin as she picks one of the petals, tucking the flower back where it was. Humming under her breath, Sakura grounds the petal in a small bowl before brewing some tea, sprinkling the powder into it.

The Shinigami’s arms snake around her waist, kissing her temple as he rumbles, “Good morning.”

Sakura turns her head to smile at him, offering the tea.

The scaled, clawed, fanged thing within her has its ugly maw open, head throw back as it cackles and howls.

xviii.

“Listen brat,” Tsunade says, snapping open a scroll.

“I’ve already read that,” Sakura interjects, her brows raising. “You know that.”

Tsunade slaps the back of her head, “When I say listen, I mean it.” She shoves the scroll into Sakura’s lap before striding towards a chest that had not been there before. “Come here.”

Slowly, Sakura makes her way towards the opened chest and peeks inside. She drops the scroll, “Is-is that-”

“Weapons to kill the divine,” Tsunade finishes for her, nodding. “Find one you like.”

Sakura swallows harshly as she kneels down and digs through the weapons, careful of every sharp point, as she palms a knife, a curved dagger with a golden blade. “This one.” She whispers, looking up to her master.

Tsunade nods in approval. “There are few ways to kill a kami.” She holds out one finger, “One, with an ichor dipped weapon.” A second finger. “Two, a very particular poison.”

Picking up the scroll, Sakura glances down the list before landing on one flower, “Kami koroshi.”

“That’s right.” Tsunade nods, “And do you know what to do with it?”

Sakura stands, flipping the dagger in her hand. It feels like coming home, having a blade at her side, bathing in the intimately dangerous knowledge of how to bring about the destruction of the heavens.

“Crush it for indigestion.”

xxiii.

Her stomach aches with laughter, clutching at her sides as she cramps and chokes on her tears. “An-and then wha-what happened?” She manages to get out as Kakashi laughs himself, leaning against the wall, a jug of liquor in hand.

He passes it to her and Sakura takes a long drink, reminiscing of a time similar to this.

“Then I told him, fuck off you little shit—" Kakashi wheezes and Sakura shouts with laughter, curling over as she gasps for breath. “And go blow som-someone else!”

They both dissolve into giggles and howls, Kakashi joining her on the floor. Sakura’s panting by the time she catches her breath, wiping tears from her face, and when she looks over Kakashi is not much better.

Brushing hair from his face, she points skyward, the stars winking down at him. “Hey Kakashi,” She asks, drunk off her ass and still giggly. “Where do you think we go when we die?”

Silence meets her question, and she sluggishly looks to the side to find him watching her, eyes soft and so full of— of—

“You’ll go somewhere safe,” He says softly. “Somewhere beautiful.”

“Yeah?” She mumbles, eyes dropping closed.

“I’ll make sure of it.” Is the last thing she hears before the dark overtakes her.

xix.

Tsunade sits across from her, laughing as she takes another long drink from her jug and sets it down heavily.

Sakura simply watches, leaning back in her chair, eyes cold and head tilted as her master coughs once, twice, three times.

Her arms begin to lose its color, being paler and paler and Tsunade watches with detached interest before laughing. She looks to Sakura, “Took you long enough, you fuckin’ brat.”

Snorting, Sakura stands, dagger in hand as Tsunade’s body begins to writhe, her breathes coming quick and uneven.

She yanks her master’s hair back, exposing her throat and slitting it in a single slide, so deep that she knicks bone, golden blood spraying.

The body drops forward, ichor pooling on the table and dripping onto the floor. Sakura sighs, rubbing the back of her neck as she kneels down to look into Tsunade’s lifeless eyes, “I will take it from here, Shishou.”

The promise rings out into the silence and Sakura revels in it.

xxiv.

Kakashi takes a sip of the tea as they both sit down, Sakura across from him. She takes a bite from the rest of their bread, watching him keenly.

He jerks suddenly, choking and hacking as he looks to her in horror and alarm. “You—"

“Me.” She confirms easily, getting up, dagger in hand.

The Shinigami roars and pushes the table away from himself and into the wall, Sakura ducks, the wood barely grazing her head before she lunges.

His already pale skin grays some more as he attempts to fight her off. She laughs at him, holding him down with one hand, knees on either side of his hips. And in the morning light, her dagger glints like a heaven sent prayer.

She plunges the blade into his head and drags it down his breast, carving him open as the kami screams and screams and screams.

Sakura feels his life bleed out from him under her hand. It is quiet once more.

And the girl made woman smiles, all bloodied teeth and gold stained hands. "And here we are." she whispers, caressing the corpse's cheek, reveling in her quiet victory. "Divinity dies at my wretched hands once again."

xvii.

“Shishou,” She begins, treading carefully. Her teacher looks at her in question, quirking up a brow. “Why were you outcasted from the other Kami?”

Tsunade— or more commonly known as Inari, Goddess of Everything Important, of the very Life— laughs and it is a hollow sound. “Oh, darling girl,” She says, a bland smile on her face. “Even gods hunger for power."

xiv.

Sakura sits, a feast laid out in front of her, a goblet of wine in her hand as she smiles, eyes flashing with something predatory.

Picking up her fork, Sakura spears into the first bit of meat, taking a bite and moaning at the way it melts in her mouth, the way the spices and flavors all blend.

She sips at her wine, running her tongue over her teeth before she laughs, throwing her head back and cackles at it all, with it all. Oh, she is a god killer, she is god taught and god fucked and she will be the one to rule them all.

Sakura sits, a feast laid in front of her, and eats the Shinigami’s flesh, one bite at a time until she can feel the power in her roar.

xix.

The corpse still sits at the table as Sakura rummages through the shit Tsunade had left behind, finding a thick envelope sealed in wax. Prying it open, Sakura laughs.

If you’ve found this, it means you’ve finally grown a pair and done what you were supposed to do. Well done, my pupil. You know your mission. I have trained you well. Do not disappoint me.

And behind the scrawled letter is a recipe.

She looks to the corpse and back down to the paper before she stands, going to gather the ingredients needed.

Sakura stands, flipping through the rest of the contents of the envelope until she pauses at another paper; a list of names and common dwellings.

The Shinigami’s is underlined three times in red.

xxv.

It ends with a girl (doesn't it always?), a girl made of nothing but destruction and anger, all slit throats and bleeding teeth.

She is horrid, she is wretched, she is powerful.

And she has grown, that girl made woman, she has grown and her eyes are wide open and she is intimately aware of the hated and evil of the world, of the weaknesses of the divine.

She finds them laying under a tree, peacefully existing and smiling at each other. The blonde one laughs, clutching his stomach while the raven simply watches on in adoration.

Sakura takes out the list, and under the Shinigami’s name crosses off two more, Raijin and Fujin.

Smiling, she makes her way towards them making sure to look a little lost and a bit scared.

And that thing inside her, the scaled, clawed, fanged thing, it smiles wide and hungry.

[whindsor]

the trials of online dating, part 2

hey @witchofinterest you’re still inspiring me btw

Swipe left, swipe left, swipe left-

Mika thought, with all the options available to her, that online dating in NYC would be a breeze. In truth, it didn’t even have to be dating. She just needed friends that weren’t her sister or her sister’s boyfriend.

Swipe left, swipe left, swipe - oh, hold on.

Mika furrowed her brow, glad that the handsome man on the screen couldn’t see the double chin she sported as she curled up on the couch. James Bucky Barnes. She’d heard that name before. Where had she heard it before?

A quick google search reminded her, making her sit up and stare down at her phone. Now when she looked at his picture, she remembered how sad he looked during the trial, how tired he was when he took the stand to talk about all the things that happened to him. TIME magazine ran article after article about the years he lost.

And now he was trying online dating? Good for him.

Mika stared long and hard at the screen. He was cute, and he also probably felt a little misplaced here in New York. Or, this was a fake account, and she would be disappointed. Again.

Hiking. Technology. Reading. Well, they had two out of three things in common.

Fuck it.

She swiped right before she could think too hard about it, going through a few more profiles before deciding that no one was going to strike her interest until she figured this James Bucky Barnes situation out. So she put her phone down and went about her afternoon, baking some bread for the week and cleaning the fridge out. She hated cleaning the fridge out, but since she was currently mooching of her sister in the studio apartment, she needed to do a little extra work.

She wasn’t surprised when her phone dinged later. She was surprised to find that it was James Bucky Barnes, accepting her match.

Interesting.

Her stomach did a flip. She wasn’t cool enough to match with the former Captain America’s best friend, and definitely didn’t expect him to go for the Romanian girl.

Had to be a catfish.

Mika: Is this really Mr. Barnes?

She was going to get to the bottom of this. If he messaged her back, then she could get on the web app and trace his IP address and see where it was registered. She wasn’t positive on the legality of that action, but safety came first. Her phone dinged again. A message!

James: Unfortunately.

The response made her laugh out loud, any thought of tracing his whereabouts fading. A catfish wouldn’t respond like that.

Mika: Deciding to try online dating? You’re becoming a real modern man, James! James: My therapist made me.

Ouch, okay, so maybe he wasn’t into the dating part. Mika was about to switch her tactics when he messaged again.

James: Sorry, that was short. Still getting the hang of this. James: You can call me Bucky. James: If you want.

Mika smiled down at her phone. There was something magical about the guy not caring about sending multiple texts in a row. Any girls she dated didn’t mind it, but men were always wanting to look all stoic. Mika found that the less they talked, the more desperate they were.

Mika: Nice to meet you, Bucky. I’m Mika. James: Nice to meet you, Mika. James: I saw you’re from Romania. Have you lived in New York long? Mika: Just a couple months. Moved here after the Blip. James: Oh, I’m sorry. That must be tough. Mika: Could be worse. I’m staying with my baby sister who is now, technically, older than me. Mika: How is it being back here?

Well if he didn’t think she was a creepy stalker, he did now!

James: Weird. So many things are different. James: But even weirder, some things are the same.

When Mika blipped back, it was hard enough to figure out everything that changed in five years. If the TIME articles were correct, Bucky was back in New York after leaving eighty years ago. She couldn’t even imagine how weird everything felt for him. And how lonely he must be.

Mika: So what’s the most important thing for me to check out? Mika: You know, since you’re a true New Yorker.

That was a safe enough topic, right? She hoped so. Centenarian or not, he was the first person to message her that didn’t ask for pictures, and she was in desperate need of someone chill. It took a while for Bucky to respond, long enough that she was utterly convinced that she’d said something wrong.

James: Totonno’s is where we used to go for pizza all the time. If you want good cheesecake, Junior’s is the best. Mika: Oh, I like both of those things!

She paused, hoping that the next message would be him asking her out. Of course, it couldn’t be that easy.

James: Let me know if you like them. James: If it’s any consolation, they still taste the exact same. Mika: Good to know. I’ve also been on the hunt for a Romanian place. Mika: Know of any? James: Not right off hand, but I can do some research. James: I spent some time there, before the Blip. Mika: Really?? Where?? James: Bucharest. Mika: No shit! I lived there! Mika: I was on the south side, in Rahova. James: …so was I. Mika: What apartments? I was Bloc 70 B.

The dots hovered, then disappeared, then hovered again, then disappeared again. Mika held her breath, but couldn’t maintain it long enough before having to take in a gulp of air. Bucky still didn’t respond. Was that too intimate a question? God, she hated this online thing sometimes.

Finally, her phone lit up again.

James: Did someone send you. Mika: What? No. Mika: I’m sorry, did I say something wrong? Mika: I know they weren’t the fanciest apartments, but…

Another ten agonizing minutes, then,

James: I’m sorry. I lived in those apartments too. James: I get spooked pretty easily nowadays.

Mika let out a huge breath of relief. Okay, good, so she wasn’t some inconsiderate asshole. Her and Bucky just had the weirdest coincidences.

Mika: That’s fair! Mika: How do I know you’re not the one following me?

Stupid. Stupid, stupid, stupid!

James: I don’t do that anymore. James: That…probably didn’t help my case.

Oh thank God, he was just as awkward as she was. And at least he had the excuses.

Mika: Meh, not the weirdest thing that’s ever happened to me. James: Same. James: Wish I could even say getting blipped was.

Don’t do it, don’t ask it, don’t say it -

Mika: What’s the weirdest thing then?

Fuck.

James: When Steve tripled in size. James: Thought I was hallucinating. Mika: Oh God, I can’t imagine! Mika: It’s weird enough that Nicoletta is a year older now Mika: At least she’s the same size James: Do you have other siblings?

Mika tapped the edge of her phone. She never did figure out how to word this without eliciting a pity party. But hey, Bucky of all people would probably understand.

Mika: We had an older sister. She passed away. James: I’m sorry to hear that. Mika: Thank you. James: My sister passed away about 20 years ago. James: Obviously, I was not there. Mika: Have you visited her grave? James: Yea, in the first couple weeks I was here. James: Will you think I’m an asshole if I say it was anticlimactic? Mika: Not at all. Mika: Last time I visited Raisa I called her a selfish bitch so Mika: You’re in good company

Too much information, that was too much information.

Bucky sent back…a laughing emoji.

James: That’s how you know you were close. James: My mother got mad at me because Rebecca thought her name was “Stupid Baby” for a long time. Mika: Aw, you were much nicer to your sister than I was haha James: Well, it was the ’20’s. James: Things were a little different. Mika: Were you a flapper? Mika: Don’t lie. James: I would never. James: Lie, that is. James: I was definitely a flapper. James: The cutest damn toddler flapper you’d ever see. Mika: Pics or it didn’t happen. James: I don’t know what that means. Mika: It means I want photographic evidence. James: Cameras weren’t invented yet. Sorry.

Man alive, James Bucky Barnes was funny.

They kept going back and forth, attempting a more normal conversation. It was, Mika found, a very nice conversation. He was someone she liked talking to, and he seemed to enjoy talking to her too. Or at least he was really good at faking it. 

“Why are you smiling so much at your phone?” Nicoletta asked later, giving her an odd look from her easel. Her boyfriend had already gone to bed, leaving them to watch whatever they wanted on Netflix. Of course that meant they put on a baking show and proceeded to do anything but watch it.

“Huh? I’m not smiling at my phone.” she said, tucking said phone into her lap.

“Don’t be dumb.” Nicoletta said, brandishing her paint brush like a knife. “Who are you talking to? You better not say-“

“Ew, no, not him.” Mika said, cutting her off before she could utter the name of her ex. “Just…someone I met on HiLove.”

“I thought we talked about those dating apps.”

“I’m lonely! I need friends.” she said. “He passed the background check.”

“Let me see a picture.” Nicoletta said, coming over. Mika sighed, thumbing through the app to find Bucky’s profile, and the one picture he had. She hoped her sister didn’t notice the two unread messages in the corner. “Hmm. Okay, he’s handsome.”

“Yes.” Mika agreed. In fact, he was becoming more handsome as the afternoon went on. “And he’s funny too. And smart.”

“Ok, calm down. You just started talking to him.”

“I know! I’m not like, proposing marriage.” Mika said, rolling her eyes. “I just like talking to him so far. That’s all.”

“Uh huh. I know how it goes with you ‘talking’ to good looking people.”

“About as well as it does with you.” she pointed out. “Pre Steve, of course.”

“Of course.” Nicoletta said. “Have you discussed future plans? Deepest fears? Favorite sexual positions?”

“I hate you.”

“These are important questions!”

“I’m going to bed.”

“No phone sex on the first day!”

“I really hate you!” Mika sang, pulling the curtain around the little area in the studio apartment that counted as her room. It was late, and she probably should go to bed anyways. But Bucky was still up, and they were currently discussing movies. Turned out, he was way behind.

Mika: Star Wars? James: Nope. It’s on the list. Mika: Star Trek? James: Also on the list. Mika: Pride and Prejudice? James: Isn’t that a book? Mika: And a movie! My favorite one. James: Guess I’ll move that to the top of the list then.

Was he…flirting? Mika couldn’t deny the smile on her face now, even as her eyes struggled to stay open. Nicoletta went to bed, and with the light off, staying conscious was becoming a struggle.

Mika: Good answer. James: Ever seen Wizard of Oz? Mika: …no. A little before my time. James: Ouch.

Despite the humor and the fun conversation, she could feel the fatigue setting in. She was so afraid to stop talking, afraid that tomorrow he would change his mind, or find someone cooler than her. But she couldn’t stay up all night anymore, she wasn’t in her 20’s.

Mika: Unfortunately, I think I need to sleep. James: I understand. It is really late.

She paused, tapping the edge of her phone. What was the worst he could say? No?

Mika: Talk to you tomorrow?

Apparently it was his turn to pause, long enough that she nearly fell asleep before her phone buzzed again.

James: I’m looking forward to it. James: Goodnight, Mika. Mika: Goodnight, Bucky.

She went to sleep with a smile.

[thefirsthogokage]

OMG

I am watching worst cooks in America.

WOW

Season 6, Episode 1 - SPOILERS

One lady killed her dog with the her awful food. I almost slipped this season because of that.

"Is this an onion or a potato?"

"Does any see the goose fat." Can't find it, thinks GUMMY BEARS will be a good equivalent and make her dish a "showstopper" and show that she is artistic.

Woman is trying to cut the gummy bears.

The male chef: "Christina, do me a favor. I'm a [unintelligible] that-that knife has a sheath on top of it. Right? Take it off. Take the knife guard off. There's a knife underneath that."

Christina: "I was wondering why [unintelligible and laughing] there wasn't a blade."

Female chef, sarcastically, but upbeat: "She's a smarty."

Christina, trying to cut the gummy bear with the WRONG EDGE OF A BREAD KNIFE.

Female chef: "Turn the knife over!"

Male Chef: "Turn your knife around." (x2)

Christina: "For a sharper cut or what?"

Male chef: "You want to cut something with the sharpe end of the knife. That's just my opinion."

Christina: "Ok."

Female chef: "and you wonder how these people get along in life."

MY GOD I AM LESS THAN TEN MINUTES INTO THIS SHOW

David: "I've got a french bulldog. She'll eat her own poo, but she won't eat my own food."

Female Chef: "David's fascination with meatloaf animals is...a bit perplexing."

SPAGHETTI AND MEATBALL CAKE WTF?!

Female chef: "oh look the first thing she has on her board is a bottle of wine."

Oh, the person she's talking about is an art teacher. Some things are making sense now.

Sarah, this woman, proceeds to pretend to be Julia Childs.

Sarah: "I don't really follow directions. I base my cooking time oh how many glasses of wine it might take me - OMG SHE POURED WINE INTO A LADLE AND DRANK IT - to finish a dish. I love cooking with wine!"

Still holding the ladle: "Half the bottle for me. Half the bottle for...sauce?"

Her bench partner, Genique, comes over and gets a sip from the laddle.

Genique, whose cooking is "like the G-spot,": "Wait until I get the gravy-oh I left a piece of paper in there." (It was a piece of plastic)

Jason, right on combining the flavors of applesauce with mashed potatoes...

He is cutting the apple poorly.

Jason: "I think my cooking is very creative. The goal is to make it edible."

Stephanie: oh god, problem child.

I took a break and took a shower. I am at most 15 minutes into this.

Stephanie, sweetie, you do NOT know how to make a fried egg. Then again, I don't either, I just know THAT is not a fried egg.

Aww, the male chef thinks Leo has a nice high step.

Leo: "they took Leo from Rio, but never Rio from Leo." Atta boy Leo!

"My cooking is very very very very bad."

LOOK WE HAVE A SELF-AWARE ONE!

Male Chef: xI swear to God, I have no idea how Anne does this everyday."

So, I the female chef's name is Anne. I think I saw her compete on Guy's Grocery Games. God I love that show.

Male Chef: "This is a very very special place."

He's not digging this job very much.

She not looking forward to tasting their food.

OMG LOOK WHILE YOU'RE CUTTING, MORON! THAT'S EVEN WHAT HE'S TALKING ABOUT! HOW YOU ALWAYS NEED TO LOOK WHILE YOU'RE CUTTING!

"what kind of oil is Canola?"

What's her name...must rewind...Kristen.

HOLY SHIT HER FAMILY ARE COOKS AND HER DAD IS A CHEF AND OWNS HE'S OWN RESTAURANT! WHERE DID THEY GO SO WRONG?!

Turned out the guy who called the female chef Hon.

Susie who doesn't eat the thing she's cooking, but her husband apparently loves it.

Chef Anne: "microwaving a potato in a plastic bag? That's priceless." Can't remember the girl's name, but she said she learned it from the male chef, who's name is apparently Tyler.

OMG GUMMY BEAR LADY/CHRISTINA WAS TRYING TO MAKE MATZO BALL SOUP?! WITH FUCKING GUMMY BEARS?!

Oh, btw, they are going around and trying these dishes. I don't envy them.

G SHE TURNED THE MEAT INTO ROCKS.

I'm surprised you have any taste buds left too, Chef Tyler.

How is there potential in any of these people?

Oh god, these people are insane.

And now they will be learning to cook.

Ahhhh, they're going to be cooking with aphrodisiacs.

Oh good for baked potato girl, she recognized the dish with French. But she couldn't recognize filet mignon as beef. She thought it was a fish.

Yeesh.

I can't remember who this girl is: Chef Tyler cut the mushroom, and she is genuinely bewildered: "how did you just do that without cutting your thumb off?"

"Because I know where my thumb is."

YIKES.

Ahh, she's "scared to death of knives." My gods.

Chef Tyler is making something more complicated then Chef Anne. Asshole.

And off they go!

Teddy Bear Meatloaf Guy: "I've have no experience with actual food."

FOR THE LOVE OF GOD DON'T HOLD A KNIFE AND TRY TO CUT LIKE THAT!

Ahh, Bagged Baked Potato girl is named Courtney (spelling?). I'm not goin. To remover that. I've already forgotten everyone but Christina.

Christina tasted her whatever is was, and dumbed the rest back in in front of the chef. She has to start that bit over.

I need to eat the food I've made, but I'm too shocked by all this.

Drinking lady is drinking again. Her brother is a chef.

WHY AM I WATCHING THIS?!

OMG CHRISTINA TASTED IT AND DUMPED IT BACK IN AGAIN!

I can't do this to myself, omg. Why am I doing this to myself? WHY?!

Courtney is calling the herbs trees. I

I

YOU HAVE NO INTUITION AND THAT'S NOT THE RECIPE!

I might have to stop watching this show.

Oh thank God, they are done cooking.

I hope this turns out to be a happy story, I really do.

OMG SARAH (CRAZY ART TEACHER) COOKED HER MEAT THE BEST! And Chef Tyler was spot on about her focus.

I think Chef Anne's team is doing better that Chef Tyler's team.

Side note: for the fourth time in ... For the fifth time in 3 minutes, I have to get my cat's toy out from under the TV stand.

Oh good! Norman won on Che Anne's team.

CONGRATS TO SARAH TOO!

Aww, the two contestants are holding hands.

Poor Christina. I was hoping she would last longer.

Poor Jason, but he doesn't listen.

Ok. That, was something.

Don't know if I'm going to do the next episode or not.

[secret-engima]

Random Titus HCs for Future’s Blurry Verse

-Smol Murder Child.

-Quickly becomes the Tol Murder Child because he was always on the Tol side but now with Glaucus and Ardyn stuffing him full of good food (with Besithia chipping in surprisingly, even if his dietary rants borderline nature documentary tone on the “care and keeping of angry adolescent homo sapiens”), he shoots up in height like crazy.

-Was never more smug than the day his latest growth spurt made him taller than Glaucus. GLORIES in being the tallest person in the room just about wherever he goes.

-Rabidly dedicated to Glaucus and Co. Even Besithia, for all they fight and snark like the worst kind of siblings.

-Ardyn is the Team Mom. Titus is Ardyn’s Team Mom since no one else is going to do it with regularity.

-Proudly proclaimed himself Ardyn’s Shield.

-Ardyn choked on his spit.

-Glaucus just laughed and then dryly asked why Titus wasn’t HIS Shield, to which Titus said that one, Glaucus didn’t need any help in a fight, and two, since when couldn’t Titus be BOTH their Shields?

-Ardyn flinched at that because THANKS FOR THE TRAUMA GILGAMESH and anyway Glaucus will probably pick up an OC for his Shield at some point anyway so it will be a moot point.

-Will Throw Hands with literally anything. Only reason he didn’t run off to Throw Hands with Gilgamesh on Ardyn’s behalf is because Ardyn and Glaucus make a point to NEVER MENTION that Gilgamesh is still around after telling Titus and Besithia Ardyn’s backstory.

-Guess what happens when they meet the Chocobros 1.0 and Clarus and Regis mention the Tempering Grounds within earshot of both Murder Children.

-Gilgamesh is MORE THAN A LITTLE AMUSED at the sight of Glaucus busting into the Tempering Grounds right in the middle of the Climactic Battle, already cussing out the two winded, frazzled, very humbled Murder Children for this stunt. He doesn’t even protest Glaucus taking them home even though they technically “lost” the fight by leaving with Glaucus.

-btw Gilgamesh now is missing an arm (again, same one as last time too, funny) and has a deep rend in the back of his armor. He’s impressed by how well the two hyper competitive murder children worked together in a pinch.

-Titus and Cor get along like two Really Aloof cats that you THINK should hate each other and fight all the time but instead like to lurk in a corner together and brood over their respective idiots adults.

-Are still hyper competitive.

-Do not stick them on the same battlefield if you want the other side to have any survivors.

-When not brooding together, Titus and Cor play wrestle (and by play wrestle I mean try to kill each other without Glaucus noticing, so basically everything but broken bones and stabbing implements are allowed).

-Titus is basically Cor’s older, taller, crabbier twin sib.

-Somehow Titus is the Braincell when they run off together. Probably because he’s used to momming Ardyn. Titus is not thrilled to discover this but it does nothing to stop them from running off and Doing The Things anyway.

-Titus will forever hold his greater height over Cor’s head (literally and pun intendedly).

-Cor has taken to spring boarding off Titus’s back during battle.

-Tank DPS and Rogue DPS, that’s Titus and Cor in a fight, basically.

-Both Cor and Titus look up to Glaucus. A Lot. Glaucus is a Despair™.

-Titus thinks Regis is weird.

-Then again his measuring stick for LC behavior is Ardyn and Glaucus so it’s no wonder he thinks Regis is weird.

-Likes pushing Clarus’s buttons. It’s fun.

-Think’s Weskham is the best thing since sliced bread. Mostly because Weskham can successfully Mom Ardyn, which gives Titus a much needed break.

-Calls Cid “Gramps”.

-Cid does not appreciate this nickname.

-Not sure if he’s gonna be Captain of the Kingsglaive or not, but I know he WILL meet the the glaives and end up riding herd more than once.

-Titus is a Regret™.

-He takes back everything he ever did to stress out the adults in his life.

-Glaucus stop laughing and HELP. THE ULRIC IS DOING A DUMB AGAIN.

-Adores Noctis and Prompto with every fiber of his being. Every. Fiber. Will Throw Hands for them against anything.

-Is Very Not Sure how to handle the day Cindy gets a Massive Crush on him.

-Help how does one deal with one’s pseudo-niece stuttering and blushing in his presence all the time. Help.

-Cor, who has been dealing with crushes from just about every prepubescent human being ever since he was 15: Pretend you’ve never had an ounce of social awareness in your entire life. If you ignore it hard enough, maybe it will go away.

-I cannot emphasize the sibling vibes between Titus and Cor enough. These two are Murder Children who are united in their Murder Child-ness. They have the same deadpan sense of humor and are the only person who can get away with cussing out or nicknaming the other.

-Titus calls Cor twerp.

-It took YEARS for Cor to stop trying to stab Titus whenever he did that.

-Only stopped because he was tired to Titus tucking all of the knives into his armiger and not giving them back.

-Cor, in retaliation, calls Titus a VARIETY of things, the mildest of which is Beanpole and Pickpocket.

-Titus has no need to come up with multiple nicknames in retaliation since “Twerp” gets a reaction every time.

-Everyone picture the faces of the new Crownsguard recruits the day Titus visits and announces his presence with an amused, “Hello, Twerp.” And their MARSHAL, the FAMED IMMORTAL (Titus is called the Undying, which is basically the same thing but mass media needed a way to differentiate between them btw) twitches violently and flings a knife at the newcomer who just entered on instinct. Titus just catches the knife and tucks it away, inciting a garbled, wordless growl from Cor. Just.

-The Marshal. The famed Immortal. Their BOSS.

-And this guy who walked in just called him Twerp and lived to tell the tale.

-Then they realize this is Titus Drautos, the Undying, and figure ... yeah if anyone can get away with it it’s Titus.

[yanjuniverse]

How Should It Be - Xiao Gui/Wang Linkai One Shot

[a/n: ah yes back at it again with another cringey one shot. i meant to post this on 5/20 but i couldn’t get my brain juices to work and finish it until tonight. i hope you guys like it. big reminder that i love wang linkai ❤️. sorry if the fic is a mess btw lol.] / master list

He sags down in his seat, visibly defeated by whatever was on his mind. A pout is prominent on his lips as his best friend cracks a smile, clapping him on the back before wrapping his arm around him, their bodies crashing together.

“Why the long face, Gui? Don’t you know that frowning gives you wrinkles?” he asks. If Linkai wasn’t so down in the dumps, he would’ve smacked the exaggerated frown right off of Chengcheng’s face right then.

Fan Chengcheng has never been the kind to just let Linkai live in his misery. Oh, no. Fan Chengcheng has to twist the knife after he stabs you. Sure, the guy’s quiet when you first meet him. But once you get to know him the way Linkai knows him, it’s a done deal. Your soul is his and there’s no getting rid of him.

“You saw my butthole once, Kai. We’re practically blood brothers now.”

Don’t ask. Linkai is begging.

“Nothing,” he shifts back into the ratty couch. He thinks for a second about how Xingjie is always babbling on and on about how he should replace it (as if Linkai has the money to replace this old hand-me-down couch. He’s a soundcloud rapper. How much does Xingjie even thinks he makes off of his beats?). Something about how just because it’s old, doesn’t mean it’s vintage. Linkai thinks that maybe the spring that pops out of the second cushion of the faded blue sofa may have caught Xingjie by surprise one too many times. That’s why Linkai always sits on the arm rest or lays like a starfish on the floor during movie nights. You’ll never catch him squished in the middle of Yanchen and Xingjie on their Thursday night Grey’s Anatomy marathons (per Yanchen’s request because how could one look at the actual sun and say no?).

He’s picking at the frayed edge of the sofa when Chengcheng says, “It doesn’t look like nothing.” He suddenly snaps, reaching into his pocket before pulling out a pair of his (nonprescription) glasses. He pushes them up on his nose then opens his phone to his notes. Linkai sees him type “WHAT THE FUCK IS WRONG WITH GUI TODAY” and watches him not only put it in bold print but italics as well. “I think we should start a diary of some sort. My sister has one of those and she says it’s all a part of a healthy life style. Wait, should we buy a Password Journal for you? Okay, wait Chengcheng. Too far off track. Let’s focus on the now.” He recomposes himself before saying, “First of all, do you know your rising sign? It could help explain a lot of things.”

Linkai thinks that there’s a reason for everything. He thinks that you never meet a person by mistake. But sometimes...he has to question his life mottos as Chengcheng waves his hand and tells him he’ll make his birth chart from scratch, all he needs is the time he was born (because Chengcheng’s already memorized that he was born on May 20, 1999 in the Fujian Province).

“Chengcheng, I promise on my mother that I won’t judge you. Just tell me if you were dropped on your head as a baby or not.“ He’s desperate at this point. There’s no way somebody just wakes up and makes the conscious decision to be Fan Chengcheng. Not any sane person, that is.

“Astrology is a very serious science, Gui and I will not stand for your bashing!” Chengcheng whines.

Likai gives him side eyes. “Didn’t you only get into astrology because Justin said you were a Gemini and he liked that?”

“No!” But the blush rising on his cheeks says otherwise. “Look. This isn’t about me! This is about you! What’s your deal?”

The older one shakes his head, throwing himself back against the couch and hoping that the weird stain to his left would manifest into a blackhole and swallow him hole. He crosses his arms and taps his shoe against the ground, eyes glued to the ceiling popcorn and wondering who the hell even thought that shit was cute. He starts to wonder how much he could pay Chengcheng to eat it when the doorbell rings.

“I’ll get it,” Chengcheng says. “I’m expecting a package!” As he gets up, he throws a cushion at his roommate before hopping away.

Linkai shuts his eyes, too exhausted to even fight back. Maybe it is his package. Maybe it’s Justin. Maybe they have another “date” in Chengcheng’s room (it’s not a real date if Justin doesn’t know it’s a date).

He’s about to drift to sleep when another cushion hits his chin, causing him to bite his tongue.

He’s on his feet and ready to throw hands when his eyes land on (a very pissed looking) you.

Honestly. He’s not surprised. You have this sour face all day and all night and it’s to the point where he’s starting to consider having Chengcheng put together your birth chart so that he can understand just that much more about you.

He crosses his arms. “And what is the problem today, princess?” he raises his eyebrows. He leans down, teasingly close, and wrinkles his nose. “I was just thinking about you.”

“Don’t look so stressed,” you scoff. He pokes your forehead, causing you to stumble back a couple of steps. “Hey!” you whine, rubbing the spot. He can just hear you screaming in your head about how he has dirty finger nails or how his hands are always so cold and boney. You huff. “You’re gonna give me a headache.”

“You give me a headache every time you walk into the room,” he shrugs, pulling back. He throws himself onto the couch again and hears the floor rattle beneath him. Another complaint that you’ll throw at him is how he and Chengcheng should just move out of this ratty old place. (“And go where exactly?” “I don’t know! Go live with Zhengting! I heard he needs a roommate!” “You want us to live with Zhu Zhengting? He’ll be on China’s Most Wanted after he kills me and Chengcheng.”) You roll your eyes instead. “But go on. What did your best friend Wang Linkai do to piss you off today?”

“We had a lunch date!” you stomp your foot.

“A lunch date?!” Chengcheng repeats as he exists the kitchen, choking on the piece of bread he had shoved into his mouth. “You two go on dates?!”

Linkai snorts. Ever since Chengcheng found out the story of how you and Linkai met, he’s been begging for you two to fall in love. (“You met in college when she dropped her books and you helped her pick them up? Fingers lingering, eyes glazing over. Love blooming like spring cherry blossom-“ “Chengcheng, shut the actual hell up. I only helped her out because I’m not an asshole.” “Not an asshole? Have you met you?”). Chengcheng says that he’s read a lot of fan fictions. He knows how this will turn out. Apparently, he’s taking bets alongside Chen Linong and Lin Yanjun as to when you two will finally get together. But jokes on them because you are denser than a book.

According to Chengcheng, it’s not your fault because apparently Linkai has terrible game. His idea of flirting with you is to flake on you half the time, watch you get riled up then pat your head and walk away after you get done ranting to him. Linkai doesn’t call that game. He calls that tolerance because some of this shit you put him through makes his head spin in circles. Plus, he’s got an image to uphold. Xiao Gui AKA.IMP cannot go around braiding flower crowns and singing to the birds like this is some kind of Disney film. He’s still trying to live down that time Xukun posted a picture of him coloring in a coloring book on his instagram story (Ziyi still sends him children’s coloring books every holiday since. Whether Linkai fills them out or not is his business and his business only).

He thinks today is going to be a bad day. He thinks it’ll be one of those days where the two of you will fight to no ends and there’s literally nothing he can do to make you feel better. He hates to admit it but he likes those kind of days because they always end with the two of you laying in his bed. Those are the nights he’ll hold you and wipes your tears, whispering a mantra of “Yes, I’m an idiot” and “I’m sorry, it’s my fault for not cherishing you.” He likes those nights because even though you get on his last nerves, he’ll be willing to admit defeat if that means he’ll get to wake up with you beside him.

“Honestly, Linkai. I don’t even know why I try with you sometimes,” you groan, setting down the bag of food in your hands onto the coffee table with one too many water stains. “Chengcheng, come join us for lunch.”

“Oh, I don’t wanna intrude on your date,” he says.

You smile at him. “It’s not an actual date.“

There’s a weird look on your face as you say that. It’s a look you get that Xiao Gui has never been able to read. Your smile is big but your eyes never seem to match. Your shoulders visibly sag and your movements slow for a second before you seem to realize what you’re doing and get back to being normal. “Come!”

“No,” Linkai plops down on the floor next to you. “He has a lab with Justin due at midnight tonight. He needs to leave.”

“Hm? You keep tabs on me?” Chengcheng has a shit eating grin on his face which quickly disappears as Linkai scoffs.

“No. You’re wearing cologne for once and don’t look oily. From just that, I know you’re going to meet Justin,” he says. “You usually smell like terrible B.O. and your hair looks dry. As for your project, you have it written on your calendar inside of a big red heart. I saw it when I went to steal the five bucks from your dresser earlier.” Chengcheng sputters, face red with embarrassment.

You swat Linkai’s shoulder. “Leave him alone,” you frown. “Don’t worry about him, Cheng. You always look and smell great to me!” you grin encouragingly before turning back to Linkai again to whisper yell. “He has a crush. Don’t tell me you’ve never gotten dressed up for somebody you liked.”

“Hey!” he says louder than you expected considering this was supposed to be a hushed conversation. “I’m wearing the jeans you said make my ass look fat,” he retorts. You simply roll your eyes before returning to Chengcheng. Once again, you’ve reminded not only Linkai but the world that you are denser than a book. He makes a face. “You expect me to read your mind and yet you never seem to be able to read mine,” he mutters under his breath, forcefully stabbing into his rice.

“What was that?” you turn back to him. He shakes his head, shoveling a load of food into his mouth to keep you from pressing. You thankfully don’t and once again, turn to Chengcheng. “I think you look amazing. Really. Go get him! He’ll be in your arms in no time!”

“Thanks, jiejie!” the dopey boy grins. “I’ll be on my way then. Be back tomorrow morning. Don’t have too much fun while I’m gone!” he winks. He’s out the door before Linkai can kill him (as if Linkai even had the energy to do so).

He’s too busy dissecting his meat to notice your cold stare. You have to clear your throat for him to look up and see your face. He groans, “What the hell did I do now?”

“You should be more supportive of Chengcheng.”

“More supportive? Any more supportive and I might as well just text Justin and say ‘Hey dinghead! Chengcheng is in love with you!’” he scoffs. “Honestly, it doesn’t get any more supportive than me.” He’s actually offended that you don’t think he’s all for Chengstin. Linkai is the vice president of the Chengstin fanclub, only coming second to You Zhangjing. “Who do you think always makes sure there’s ice cream in the fridge when Justin comes over? Who do you think hops off our shitty ass wifi when Justin comes to watches movies? Who the fuck ran across town just to fight with sneaker heads to get Justin the newest pair of shoes because Chengcheng was stuck in class? Have you ever had to fight a sneak head, YN? Have you?” His eyes are wild as if he’s seen some things he’d rather not talk about.

You sigh. “I just think you need to be nicer to him,” you shrug.

“Last week you told me not to let Chengcheng step all over me,” Linkai points his chopstick accusingly at you.

“Because you were deadass tired and up doing his laundry while he slept!” you exclaim.

Linkai snorts. You’re honestly a walking contradiction when it comes to him. “Just eat and be quiet. I’ve already got a headache. Don’t make my stomach upset too with all of your nonsense.”

“It’s not nonsense, Linkai!”

“If it’s coming from you, it is.” He shuts his foam to-go plate and stands to his feet before you could give him another earful. “I’m gonna go get a drink. Want anything? Water? A soda? A shot of vodka?”

“Ten more minutes with you makes the last option sound more appeasing than it should,” you pinch the bridge of your nose.

“Nobody is forcing you to be here,” he reminds you, patting your head as he walks away. When he returns, he’s made two pretty drinks and winks at you. Bottoms up, his eyes say.

“Really? Drinking on a Tuesday?” you scoff.

“Whether it’s a Tuesday afternoon or a Saturday night, you will always find a reason to complain,” he replies. You roll your eyes, taking a sip and feeling the alcohol burn down your throat. You grimace before setting it back down on the table. “So what do you wanna do now, hm? Watch a movie? Make me watch you online shop?”

“Maybe I could put make up on you and do your hair,” you suggest.

It’s his turn to roll his eyes. “You say that everyone elses’ boy friends do this for them and yet, I feel as though I’m the only one.”

“Boyfriend?” you repeat, completely disregarding anything else he had said.

“Boy. Space. Friends,” he says before leaning back onto his hands. “Why? Do you wanna remove the space in between us?” he wiggles his eyebrows before swooping in close to you, noses bumping. You freeze at this. “What?” he smirks when you don’t push him away like usual. “You actually thinking about kissing me this time?”

You scoff, shaking your head and moving away from him. “Wang Linkai,” you scoff again. “You really are something else. You know that? Kiss you? My best friend? I’d rather eat sand or-“ You stop, looking at him and seeing the way his eyes cast down for a second. “What?”

He looks back up. “Nothing,” he says before pulling himself to his feet again. He stretches his arms over his head and yawns. “Come. Let’s go shop. Or something. I don’t know.” He shakes his head and reaches for his drink. Maybe he shouldn’t have poured so much alcohol into his drink. One sip and he’s already a mess. “What?” He notices you still haven’t moved from your spot on the floor. “Hurry up and put on your jacket. Or do I have to so it for you?” He makes a swipe to grab your arm but you pull back, holding it against your chest. “YN, what?” he sighs, a bit annoyed. “Are you mad at what I just did? Look, I’m sorry. Let’s just-“

“Linkai,” you frown. “Why do you look so sad?”

“It’s nothing,” he replies, walking around and looking for his keys.

“It’s doesn’t seem like nothing to you.” Your words are careful, almost as if you’re trying to find the right wire to cut in order for the bomb not to explode. It’s always like that when the two of you argue this deeply. And sadly, it always ends with somebody crying.

“Because it’s never anything to you!” he throws a hand down dramatically. “So like. Let’s go because I’m not going to do this today!”

“Do what today?” you ask, standing to your feet. He shakes his head and makes it towards the door when you grab his arm. He instantly spins around and pins you against the wall, arms encasing you. You narrow your eyes at him. “What’s your deal?” you huff.

“It’s not even a bit obvious to you?” He’s smiling like a deviant. Like you’re just playing into one of his cold jokes. “Are you really that stupid?”

“What did I do to you?” you cross your arms.

“Everything,” he says, eyes casting downwards. You feel your heart starting to hammer as you realize he’s staring right at your lips. “You waltz into my life and make it absolute hell. You expect me to just know what’s on your mind. You expect me to just know what makes you happy and what makes you sad. You expect me to just know these things and I don’t and it makes me so tired and yet...” he laughs coldly. “And yet when I look at you, I want to be defeated. I want to fall at my knees at your mercy. It’s been like this since the day we met.” His hand slowly makes its way up to your cheek, cupping the glowy red flesh between his fingers. “C’mon, YN. How should it be? What do I have to do to make you like me as much as I like you?”

“Linkai, you idiot! If you liked me, you should’ve just told me!” you pout.

“And then you would’ve found something to complain about then as well,” he rolls his eyes. “Honestly, YN. Just lighten up with me sometimes. I’m trying.”

“You’re always trying,” you smile. “That’s what I like about you.”

“You wanna know a secret?” he asks, leaning in closely. “I only try his hard for you.”

And as his lips finally land on yours, you realize that this is exactly how it should have been all along.

[mitchmarnier]

You don’t have to do this if you don’t want to bc I know (and agree with) your ST3 feelings lol but I was going through your ST tag and got emo so,,,, 8. “Well…this is where I live.” for byeler? 🥺 ily btw

Byeler + #8: “Well… this is where I live.”

Author’s note: Logan! This got so long, I apologize lmao. Happy Stranger Things Day to Logan and Logan specifically. This plot has nothing to do with the prompt at all, but I hope you like it anyway! I needed to get my Mike feelings and dwellings OUT of my brain!

Warning: Vague notions of potentially suicidal thoughts (aka references to 1x06- the monster.)

Will didn’t need any sort of supernatural telepathy to know that something was off. He didn’t feel it like goosebumps on the back of his neck or a sudden shaking of his hands. It something deeper, an unsettled feeling in his stomach. A jumping, something just beyond what he was able to describe. Almost like being nervous but… nervous without a cause.

“What’s wrong?” El asked, sitting across from in cafeteria. Dustin, never far behind El these days, sat beside her with his face buried in a large bag of salt and vinegar chips. Despite the worry in his gut, a small smile tugged at the corner of his lips at the thought of the disgusted face and fake gagging Lucas would dramatize at the sight. “You are being quiet today.”

“I’m always quiet.” Will said, slowing pulling the crusts off his tuna sandwich. Dustin pulled a disgusted look at the sandwich of choice, as though he wasn’t currently ripping the bag of chips open and licking at the salt directly from the inside.

El didn’t seem to so much as blink as she sat across the table from him. She was staring him down with unwavering intensity and Will knew what she was going to say before the words had a chance to leave her mouth. “Yeah, yeah. I know. Friends don’t lie.”

He chose to ignore that he and El were a little more than friends at this point. Since the… horrific events at the Starcourt Mall four months ago- the loss of Hopper- El had moved into the Byers House. After three weeks of sharing a bed, and sharing a bedroom since then, Will knew they had a connection that was much deeper than simply being friends. In the deepest, and most innocent of ways, El was his other half. Maybe friends didn’t lie, but Will couldn’t lie. Not to El.

“I just feel weird today.” Will said with half a shrug. “It’s not a big deal. It happens.”

El frowned, eye still narrowed. Will reached across the table and gripped her hand. Her expression softened, and she squeezed Will’s hand back even though he knew it wasn’t comfortable. Even over a year later, Will Byers still struggled to stay warm.

Lucas and Max loudly made their way over then, chattering (arguing? Sometimes it was hard to tell) and Will felt his heart sink when he realized that Mike wasn’t with them. El squeezed his hand once more before pulling away. Will thought maybe he saw her drop under the table towards Dustin, but well- Will wasn’t going to dwell on that. Everybody was entitled to their secrets, he knew all about that.

“Where’s Mike?” Will asked Max as she sat down beside him. Lucas, as predicted, had launched right into an argument with Dustin over the empty bag of chips. Max rolled her eyes at them, and immediately turned to grab fries of Dustin’s tray while he wasn’t paying attention.

“Dunno.” Max said through a mouthful. Will frowned and her could feel El watching them. “Asked to go the bathroom halfway through last period and never came back. Guess he took off.”

“Mike wouldn’t do that.” Will said loyally. Lucas and Dustin’s debate slowed to silence and El stared down at her hands. Max was looking at Will almost sadly. Because Mike had been doing stuff like that lately. 

“Well, where could he go?” Will asked heavily, leaning forward on his elbows. He rested his chin on his tightened fists. “It’s not like he’s going to go home in the middle of the day. If he’s not here, where would he go?”

Nobody had any answer for him, and the table was quiet for a moment before Dustin caught Max attempting to steal more fries from his tray and they quickly fell back into chaos. Will continued to shred the bread into tiny pieces and they tossed the baggie into the garbage as the bell rang for class.

“Hey, Will.” Dustin called after him. Will turned around and frowned. He’d thought he’d been trailing behind the rest of his friends but it seemed while he had been lost in his own thoughts, he’d walked a little faster than he’d thought. Dustin was walking towards him, El by his side. Her arm was definitely linked with Dustin’s, cheek against his shoulder in an all too familiar stance. Will raised his brow at her and El smiled shyly.

Not ready to talk about it. Will could understand that.

“What’s up?” Will asked, crossing his arms over his chest.

Dustin cleared his throat, scratching at the back of his head with the hand that wasn’t currently in El’s grip. “I think I might know where Mike is.” Dustin said, voice low. Will took a step closer to hear him better. “I mostly pretend I.. don’t know he goes there. But before I tell you, there’s something else you need to know first.”

Will looked between Dustin and El, Dustin looking in dead in the face and El staring off slightly in the distance with an angry frown on her face. . “What is it?”

“It’s uhm.” Dustin swallowed roughly. “When you were… missing… something happened. With Mike.” Will felt his breath begin to pick up, and El’s gaze jerked up from the floor to look at him. “Lucas doesn’t know, either. Things were just really crazy, and by the time everything had calmed down, and you were back and El…” A pained expression came over Dustin face and he cleared his throat again, eyes dropping away from Will’s for the first time since he’d started speaking. “Mike didn’t want to bother you guys with it, and I didn’t think anything of it but. I don’t know if he ever got over it.”

Will glanced between Dustin and El again, willing himself to breathe normally. “What is it? Dustin, seriously, just tell me, just-”

“Mike and I ran into Troy at the top of the Quarry cliff.” Dustin spit out. “The same one the police were saying you fell off and drowned. El had made Troy piss himself in front of everybody at your service for upsetting Mike-” El gave a half smirk, and Dustin matched it-”and he was so pissed. He grabbed and he pulled a knife. He threatened to cut my baby teeth out if Mike didn’t jump.”

“Jump off the Quarry?” Will asked, voice feeling stuck in his chest. “That’s…”

“Psychotic?” Dustin said darkly. “Yeah. It is. I tried to beg him not to jump, but-”

“Wait, he jumped?” Will squawked, then looked around wildly. The cafeteria had completely emptied and Will shook his head. “He jumped off the Quarry? How is he even alive? This doesn’t make any sense-”

“I saved him.” El interrupted Will’s panicked rambling. “With my powers. I held above the water and brought him back up to the top. I saved him.”

Will held eye contact with El for a long time, matching pained expressions on their faces. The difference being, El was from memories and Will’s were from horrified images drawn up from his imagination.

“He didn’t so much jump as just…” Dustin pursed his lips. “He just walked up to the ledge and stepped off. One second he was there, and the next he was disappearing into thin air. And Troy was holding me back, I couldn’t get to him if I tried. I thought he was gone, man.”

Will’s stomach was fully in his throat now, hands shaking at his side. El reached out and took Will’s shaking hand with her free one, uniting the three of them in some sort of half circle.

“I saved him.” El repeated firmly. “I saved him. He’s okay.”

Will nodded and closed his eyes. Images flashed in his mind, getting back from the Upside Down to find out Mike had died while he was gone. He wasn’t sure he could imagine anything worse, having to go through everything that came after without him. Or maybe he never would have gotten back at all, without Mike.

“But he still goes there. I think.” Dustin said quietly. “He said something once, after the mall that made me think but I never knew how to bring it up. But if you’re looking for him, that’s where he might be.”

Will nodded and forced himself to return the smile El gave him as they walked out of the cafeteria. Will sighed. Looks like he wasn’t going to be making it to his afternoon classes, either.

He skidded to a stop near the top of the cliff, and he spotted Mike immediately. He was sitting up at the top, legs dangling over the edge. Will walked towards him, slowly to not startled Mike over the edge. There was no El here to catch him, and after Starcourt… she couldn’t even if she needed to.

“Go away Dustin.” Mike said. His voice was deeper than usual, thick with what Will knew must have been tears. Will’s heart clenched in his chest.

“It’s not Dustin, Mike.” Will said softly.

Mike flinched slightly and turned away from the edge, looking up at Will with big, wide eyes. “What are you doing here? Your mom is going to be so freaked when you find out you bailed out in the middle of the day.”

“And yours isn’t?” Will inquired, taking a seat next to Mike with his feet dangling off the edge of the world. “You know what I was thinking the whole way over here?” Will asked and Mike hummed in response, stubbornly not looking at him. “I was thinking that the worst thing I could imagine was if I came back from the Outside Down and you weren’t here.”

Mike squeezed his eyes shut. “Who told you? Dustin or El?”

“Both?” Will said with a forced laughed. “They’re sort of a package deal now, if you hadn’t noticed.”

Mike crinkled his brow, opened his mouth then shut it quickly.  “Why did you come here?” He asked. “You shouldn’t have come. I’m just. My sister calls it agonizing.” He said the last word in higher pitched, but almost cripplingly angry voice.

Will wanted to reach out to hold his hand, but couldn’t. Best friends since kindergarten or not, but Mike wasn’t El and Will couldn’t just hold his hand. “You guys are fighting again?”

“No.” Mike said shortly. “It’s not- this isn’t about anything, I just.” Mike shook his head. “Well.. this is where I live.”

Will frowned. “What?”

Mike squeezed his eyes shut and his bottom lip shook. Will’s hands twitched in his lap, desperate to give comfort he didn’t know how. “It’s like. I didn’t hit the water but I never really came up either. It’s so stupid that after everything we’ve been through, all the monsters and bullshit we’ve seen and been through- it’s the water coming up to greet me I dream about.”

Will through his judgment away as he tossed an arm around Mike’s shoulder. He squeezed Mike tightly and tried to ignore how his best friend shook beside him.

“I’m sorry, I’m sorry.” Mike said. “I can’t believe I’m crying to you about this like a bitch. You’ve been through so much, all of you have, and I can’t even-”

“It’s not a race, Mike.” Will said softly. “We all went through stuff and we help each other. Okay? We can’t help you if keep it from us.”

“No, I just-“ Mike hands were shaking between his knees and Will rubbed at Mike’s back. “It’s like I went into the Upside Down at all, or like my dad died or my brother or I got kidnapped by Russian spies or-”

“Stop.” Will said sharply. Mike whipped to look at him, guilty. “You’re not any less of a victim then any of us.”

“I am though.” Mike said so quietly that Will almost didn’t hear it.

He grabbed Mike by the shoulders and tugged him to look at him. They sat nose to nose. “Don’t say that. You lead everybody to find me when I disappeared. You watched the girl you love disappear into thin air and spend an entire year being the only person who still thought she was alive.”

“I saw them pull your body from the water.” Mike said, eyes dancing over Will’s face. Will’s heart nearly exploded in his chest. “We all did. Lucas, Dustin, El.. We were all there and they found you. You were dead and I… I didn’t even know how I supposed to keep existing. What I was going to do next.”

Mike swallowed roughly and turned away, looking over the across the almost black water. “That mouthbreather Troy told me to jump and I looked down and I thought. Maybe you were dead. Or you weren’t and we’d never find you and that would be my fault. For chasing El away, for getting rid of the chance to find you.”

Will stared at Mike’s face, mouth half open.

“I don’t even remember jumping, Will.” Mike said in a broken voice. “I just remember thinking you were gonna die, and then the water was coming up to my face.”

Will let out a short, rough breath and grabbed Mike’s face. He kissed him quickly, so quickly that he pulled back before Mike even seemed to have reacted to what had happened.

“I’m right here.” Will said, tears in his eyes. “I’m here because you never gave up on finding me or helping me after you got me back. Okay? So this thoughts, wherever they come from, and whatever they are… we can past them but you have to talk to me. Or El. Or Nancy… somebody… Okay?”

Mike was staring at Will with a dazed expression.

“Okay?” Will pressed him again, squeezing Mike’s shoulders.

“Okay.” Mike breathed out, nodding once. He and Will held eye contact for a long moment before Mike’s nose crinkled up. “Wait. What were saying about Dustin and El?”

Will laughed.

[ggclarissa]

Not Real Pt. 2 (Five Hargreeves x Robot!Reader)

Summary: After disappearing for almost seventeen years, Five returns to the academy. He returns to you.

A/N: The part two nobody asked for, but the part I wanted. The reader acts a little more human here because of Five. Btw, the whole I Think We’re Alone Now dancing sequence never happened in this imagine. Also (Y/F/F) means your favorite flowers.

You sat on one of the plush sofas in the living room as Luther, Diego, Allison, Klaus, and Vanya discussed the death of their father. Luther claimed it was murder, which you didn’t quite understand. Pogo told you that Reginald had died of heart failure. Then again, you weren’t there when it happened. You were shut off as you were being recharged, apparently.

“Would anyone like anything to eat?” You spoke up, smiling sweetly. You didn’t mean to intrude on their conversation, but you hadn’t cooked or baked for any of the children in a long time. It was nice to see them all again even if it was during a despairing occasion.

“No, we’re good, (Y/N),” Allison assured you, sending you a pitiful smile. She knew you were only trying to liven up the conversation

Your smile faltered, and it became a little more synthetic. “Oh, okay,” You muttered, fiddling with the hem of your dress. As the children continued their discussion, you looked up at the painting above the fireplace. The painting of Five.

You never understood why Five left. He stormed out of lunch one day after an arguement with his father and never came back. Vanya had tried telling you that Five wasn’t really gone, that he’d be coming back soon. It had been almost seventeen years since his disappearance, and you were still waiting for him to come home.

You stood in the dining room as the children ate the lunch you and Grace had prepared. It was a bit too quiet for your liking, but you wouldn’t dare voice your opinion. No talking was allowed during meal times as it interrupted Herr Carlson. One of the many rules your master and creator, Sir Reginald Hargreeves, had set in place for those living in the Umbrella Academy.

You looked over at the children, each of them doing their own thing. Ben was silently reading a novel as he chewed his food, Klaus was rolling a joint under the table, Diego and Vanya were eating their lunch, and Allison and Luther were stealing subtle glances at each other. Five was staring at his father intently, his mouth opening and closing. You knew exactly what he wanted to say.

Five discussed with you earlier that he wanted to time travel. You opposed the idea, reprimanding him and telling him it was too dangerous. Five only scoffed at your words. He knew you only wanted to protect him, but he was ready. He would propose the idea, with or without your approval, at meal time.

In order to grab his father’s attention—as words wouldn’t be enough—he grabbed a butter knife and jammed it into the table harshly.

“Number Five,” Reginald scolded.

“I have a question,” Five stated, ignoring the look you gave him.

“Knowledge is an admirable goal, but you know the rules. No talking during meal times. You are interrupting Herr Carlson.”

“I want to time travel.”

“No.” Reginald shot down the idea immediately.

“But I’m ready,” Five argued. “I’ve been practicing my spacial jumps just like you said.” You watched as Five teleported and reappeared by his father’s side. “See?”

“A spacial jump is trivial when compared to the unknowns of time travel. One is like sliding along the ice, the other is akin to descending blindly into the depths of freezing water and reappearing as an acorn,” Reginald lectured.

“Well, I don’t get it,” Five admitted, looking slightly embarrassed.

“Hence why you are not ready.”

Five glanced over at you, and you shook your head, mouthing, “Sit down.” Angry at his father’s refusal and lack of explanation, he turned on his heel and ran out of the room.

“Number Five! You haven’t been excused! Come back here!” Reginald yelled out.

You wanted to go after him, but your circuits were screaming at you to stay put.

You snapped out of your trance as you heard a loud, thundering sound outside. Diego’s knives flew out of his hands as they jammed themselves into the wall, and the metal jar of Reginald’s ashes almost fell out of Klaus’s grasp at the strong, unknown force. You all rushed to the backyard to see a blue anomaly forming in the sky.

“Looks like some sort of temperal anomaly,” Luther stated. “Either that or a minature black hole. One of the two.”

“Pretty big difference there, Paul Bunyan!” Diego yelled sarcastically.

“Out of the way!” Klaus shouted as he rushed forward, holding a fire extinguisher.

“What are you—?” Diego started to ask, but he was cut off as Klaus threw the fire extinguisher into the anomaly. It merely repelled, flying back.

“What is that gonna do?” Allison questioned frantically.

“I don’t know!” Klaus retorted, throwing his hands up in exasperation. “You got a better idea?”

“Everybody get behind me!” Luther yelled out as he shoved Allison behind him.

“Yeah! Everybody get behind us!”

Vanya grabbed onto your hand, holding you closely as the wind began to pick up. You watched as a man—no, a boy—began to emerge from the anomaly. The boy fell to the ground, and the portal disappeared, swirling out of existence.

“Uh, does anyone else see little Number Five or is that just me?” Klaus asked as the Hargreeves stared at their long lost brother in shock.

Letting go of Vanya’s hand, you stepped forward cautiously. “Number Five?” You called out, your voice sounding oddly shaky.

Five looked down at himself before looking back up at his siblings. “Shit,” He cursed, realizing he was young again. After rushing him back inside the house, you were all seated around the kitchen table.

“What’s the date?” Five inquired, grabbing a bag of bread from the cabinet. “The exact date.”

“The 24th,” Vanya answered.

“Of what?”

“March,” She clarified.

Five nodded. “Good.” He reached into the bag, pulling out two slices of white bread and placing them onto the cutting board.

“So are we gonna talk about what just happened?” Luther questioned. Five paid no heed to his words as he continued to make his sandwich. “It’s been seventeen years!”

“It’s been a lot longer than that,” Five retorted, glaring up at him. He teleported, reappearing at the counter and grabbing a bag of marshmallows.

“Where did you go?” Diego spoke up.

“The future. It’s shit, by the way.”

“Called it!” Klaus exclaimed, clearly proud of his little achievement.

“I should’ve listened to the old man,” Five continued as he rummaged through the fridge. “You know, jumping through space is one thing. Jumping through time is a toss of the dice.”

Five looked over at you, a small smile breaking through his serious expression. “Nice dress.”

You smiled, looking down at the dress you were wearing. It was the one Five had gotten you for Christmas before he disappeared, the one with (Y/F/F) on it. “Thank you,” You beamed.

“Wait, how did you get back?” Vanya asked, interrupting your little moment.

“In the end, I had to project my consciousness forward into a suspended quantum state version of myself that exists across every possible instance of time,” Five explained.

“That makes no sense,” Diego muttered.

“Well, it would if you were smarter,” Five quipped.

Diego stood up angrily, but Luther held him back, putting his arm out in front of him.

“How long were you there?” Luther questioned.

Five shrugged. “Fourty-five years, give or take.”

“So what are you saying? That you’re fifty-eight?” Luther asked in disbelief.

“No, my consciousness is fifty-eight,” Five corrected. “Apparently, my body is now thirteen again.”

“How does that even work?”

“Dolores kept saying the equations were off.” Five shrugged, taking a bite of his peanut butter and marshmallow sandwich. “Bet she’s laughing now.” He glanced down at the newspaper on the table, reading the headline. “Guess I missed the funeral.”

“How did you know about that?” Luther asked.

“What part of the future do you not understand?” Five retorted. “Heart failure, huh?”

“No.”

“Yes.”

“Nice to see nothing’s changed,” Five said sarcastically, walking out of the room.

“That’s it? That’s all you have to say?” Allison questioned in disbelief.

“What else is there to say? Circle of life.”

The Hargreeves all sat in silence, trying to process what just happened. You stood up and walked out of the room, intending to go after Five. You hadn’t seen him in almost seventeen years—well, forty-five years, apparently.

You walked up the large staircase and into his bedroom. Five stood in front of his closet, wearing his old Umbrella Academy uniform.

“Number Five,” You spoke up, and he turned to look at you.

“(Y/N),” He breathed, stepping towards you and engulfing you in hug. He squeezed you tightly, tears suddenly pricking his eyes. He hadn’t realized how much he missed you until now.

You wrapped your arms around him, feeling your dress become wet with tears. “Why are you crying, Number Five?” You asked softly, a little concerned.

“I missed you so much,” He whispered, placing his chin on your head. He closed his eyes, inhaling the scent of your artificial hair. Even though you weren’t real and incapable of having a scent, he swore that you smelled of the loveliest things.

Five pressed a small kiss to your forehead and pulled away. He smiled down at you, something that he only seemed to do with you. “I love you, (Y/N).”

You smiled, reaching up to wipe away his tears. “I love you, too, Number Five.”

And those words were real.

[dailydianakko]

Undying Au- What chapter is this

help

“Akko Akoo!” shouted Diana sadly. “No, please, come back!” But I was too mad. “Whatever! Now u can go anh have sex with Vampire!” I shouted. I stormed into my room and closed my black door with my blood-red key. It had a picture of Marylin Manson on it. He looked so sexy in a way that reminded me of Diana and Vampire. I started to cry and weep. I took a razor and started to slit my wrists. I drank the blood all depressed. Then I looked at my black GC watch and noticed it was time to go to Biology class. I put on a short ripped black gothic dress that said Anarchy on the front in blood red letters and was all ripped and a spiky belt. Under that I put on ripped black fishnets and boots that said Joel all over them with blood red letters. I put my chestnut brown hair out. Anyway I went downstairs feeling all sad and depressed as usual. I did sum advanced Biology work. I was turning a bloody pentagram into a black guitar. Suddenly the guitar turned to Diana! “Akko I love you!” she shouted sadly. “I dnot care what those fucker preps and posers fink. Ur da most beautiful girl in the world. Before I met you I used to want to commit suicide all the time. Now I just wanna fucking be with you. I fucking love you!.” Then…………….s he started to sing “Da Chronicles of Life and Death” (we considered it our song now cuz we fell in love when Joel was singing it) right in front of the entire class! Her singing voice was so amazing and gothic and sexxy like a cross between Gerard, Joel, Chester, Pierre and Marilyn Manson (AN: don’t u fink dos guyz r so hot. if u dnot no who dey r get da fuk out od hr!) . “OMFG.” I said after she was finished. Some fucking preps stared at us but I just stuck up my middle fingers (that were covered in black nail polish and were entwined with Diana’s now) at them. “I love you!” I said and then we started to kiss just like Hilary Duff (i fukin h8 dat bitch) and CMM in a Cinderella Story. Then we went away holding hands. Croix shouted at us but she stopped cuz everyone was clapping by how sexy we looked 2gether. Then I saw a poster saying that MCR would have a concert in Blytionbuyry right then. We looked at each other all shocked and then we went 2gether. XXXXXXXXXXXXX666XXXXXXXXXXXXXXX We ran happily to Blytoonberry. There we saw the stage where GC had played. We ran in happly. MCR were there playing ‘Helena’. I was so fucking happy! Gerard looked even sexier than he did in da pictures. Even Diana thought so, I could totally see her getting an erection but it didn’t matter cuz I knew know that we were da only true ones for eachother. I was wearing a black leather minidress and black leather platinum boots with red ripped fishnets. Diana was wearing a black baggy MCR t-shirt and black baggy pants. Anyway, we stated moshing to Helena. We frenched. We ran up 2 the front of the band to stage-dive. Suddenly, Gerard pulled off his mask. So did the others. We gasped. It wasn’t them at all. It was.,……………………….. PaUl and da parliment! “Wtf Diana im not going to a concert wid u!” I shouted angrily. “Not after what happened to me last time? Even if its MCR n u no how much I lik them” “What cause we…you know…” she gadgetted uncomfortbli cause girls don’t like to talk a bout you-know-what. “Yeah cause we you know!” I yielded in an angry voice. “We won’t do that again.” Diana promised. “This time, we’re going with an ESCORT.” “OMFG wtf/ Are you giving into the mainstream?” I asked. “So I guess ur a prep or a Christina or what now?” “NO.”she muttered loudly. “R u becoming a prep or what?” I shootd angrily. “Akoo! I’m not! Pls come with me!” Sshe fell down to her knees and started singing ‘Da world is black’ by GC to me. I was flattened cause that’s not even a single, she had memorized da lyrks just 4 me! “OK then I guess I will have to.” I said and then we frenched 4 a while and I went up 2 my room. Sucy P’oison was standing there. “Hajimemashite gurl.” she said happily (she spex Japanese so do i. dat menz ‘how do u do’ in japanese). “BTW Hannah that fucking poser got expuld. she failed al her klasses and she skepped math.” “It serves that fuking bich right.” I laughed angrily. Well anyway we where felling all deprezzed. We wutsched some goffic movies like Das niteMARE b4 xmas. “Maybe Hannah will die too.” I said. “Kawai.” Sucy P’oison shook her head enrgtically lethrigcly. “Oh yeah o have a confession after she got expuld I murdered her and den Barbara did it with her cause she’s a necphilak.” “Kawai.” I commnted happily . We talked to each other in silence for da rest uv da movie. “OH HEY BTw, im going to a concert with diana tonight in Hogsmeade with mcr.” I sed. “ I need to wear like da hotset outfit EVA.” Lotte Go’thic 666 Nightfall Nodded ENREGeticALLlY. “Omfg totally lets go shopping.” “In Hot Topic, right?” I asked, already getting out my spshcial Hot Topic Loiyalty carde. “No.” My head snaped up. ‘WHAT?” my head spuin. I could not believe it. “Lotte Go’thic 666 Nightfall are u a PREP?” “NOOOO!NOOOO!” She laughed. “I found some cool goffic stores near Luna NOova that’s all.” “Hu told u abut them” I askd sure it would be Duana or Diabolo or Vampire(don’t even SAY that nam to me!). Or me. “Chariot.” She sed. “Let me just call our broms.” “OMFFG Chariot?” I asked quietly. “Yah I saw the map for blytonbury on his desk.” She told me. “Come on let’s go.” We were going in a few punkgoff stores SPECIALLY for the concerts in BLUYTONBURY. The salesperson was OMG HOTTER THAN GERARD EXCEPT NOT CAUSE THAT’S IMPOSSIBLE and he gave me a few dresses. “We only have these for da real goffs.” “Da real goffs?” Me and Sucy P’oison asked. “Yah u wouldn’t believe how many posers ther are in this town man! Yesterday Piceis and Finnelan tried to buy a goffic camera pouch.” He shook his head. “I dint even no they had a camera.” “OMFG NO THEIR GONNA SPY ON ME AGAIN!” I cried, running out of the changing room wearing a long black dress with lots of red tulle coming out and very low-cut with a huge slit. “Oh my satan you have to buy that outfit” The salesperson said. “Yeah it looks totlly hot.” Said Lotte Go’thic 666 Nightfall. “You know what I am gona give it to you free cause u look really hot in that utfit. Hey are you gonna be at the concert tonight?” he asked. “Yeah I am actually.” I looked back at him. “Hey BTW my name’s Akko Chestnut dark’ness dementia TARA way what’s yours?” “Andrew Habrige.” He said and ran a hand through his black-dyed hair. “maybe I’ll see you there tonight.” “Yeah I don’t think so cause I am going there with my gf Duana you sick perv!” I yelled angrily, but before he could beg me to go with him, Jasminkla flew in on his black broom looking worried. “OMFG AJJO U NEED OT GET BACK INTO THE CASTLE NOW!” XXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXX666XXXXXXXXXXXXXX Andbrew gave us some clothes n stuff 4 free. He said he wud help us wif makeup if he wunted koz he was relly in2 fashin n stuff. (hes bisezual).  Jasminka kept shooting at us to cum back 2 LUNA NovA. “WTF NelSon?” I shouted angrily. “Fuck off you fjucking bastard.” Well anyway Barbara came. Jasminka went away angrily. “Hey bitch you look kawaii.” she said. “Yah but not as kawaii as you.” I answered sadly cause Boobra’s really pretty and everything. She was wearing a short black corset-thingy with blood red lace on it and a blak blood-red miniskirt, leather fish-nets and black poiny boots that showed off how pale she wuz. She had a really nice body wif big bobs and everything. She was thin enouff 2 be anorexic. “So r u going 2 da concert wif Diana?” she asked. “Yah.” I said happily. “I’m gong with Diabolo (thatz Hannuah).” she anserred happily. Well anyway Duana and Diabolo came. They were both loking extremely hot and sexy and u could tell they thoufht we were ot 2. Diabolo was wearing a black t-shirt that said ‘666’ on it. She was wearing tons off makeup jus like Marylin Manson. Diana was wearing black leather pants, a gothic black GC t-shirt and black Vanss he got from da Warped tower. Lotte Go’thic 666 Nightfall was going 2 da concert wif Dracola. Dracola used to be called Frank but it tuned out dat he was kidnapped at birth and his real family were vampires. They dyed in a car crash. Frank converted to Satanism and he went goth. He was a peasant now.He gav up noblles. He was wearing a black Wurped t-shirt, black jeans and shoes and black hair wif red streekz in it. We kall him Dracula now. Well anyway we al went 2 Diana’s black Mercy-Bens (geddit cuz wer gpffik) that her mom Berenadete gave her (berfore she died). We did pot, coke and crak. Diana and I made out. We made fun of dose stupid fuking preps. We soon got there…….I gapsed. Gerard was da sexiest guy eva! He locked even sexier den he did in pix. He had long raven blak hair n piercing blue eyes. He wuz really skinny and he had n amazing ethnic voice. We moshed 2 Helena and sum odder songz. Sudenly Gerard polled of his mask. So did the other membez. I gasped. It wasn’t Gerard at all! It was an ugly NOble man wif Wrinklez and  eyes... Every1 ran away but me and Diana. Duana and I came. It was…….Paul and da Nobles! “U moronic idiots!” he shooted angstily. “Ajjo, I told u to kill Vampire. Thou have failed. And now……….I shall kill thou and Diana!” “No no please!” We begged sadly but he took out his knife. Sudenly a gothic old woman flu in on her broomstick. She had lung black hair and a looong black bread. She wus werring a blak robe dat sed ‘avril lavigne’ on da back. She shotted a spel and Paul ran away. It was…………………………………Hilberoook!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

[emmerrr]

♖ andreil pls (bc as Charles Boyle would say "That's the most intimate thing you can do to a lover with your fingers")

listEN I lost it when I saw this in my askbox, charles is who I thought of immediately when I saw that prompt! I’m gonna combine it with some other prompts I hope that’s okay!

anonymous asked: i’m living for these prompts! i love your writing! everything is so soft and lovely 😊 😍❤️ if you have time can you do andreil and ♟?? it seems to suit them ;) [thank you so much :) ]

anonymous asked:♗ Andreil I love your writing!!! [thanks!]

anonymous asked:Andreil prompt; ♢: Forehead or cheek kisses

anonymous asked:hello, could i please have ♣ or ♚ with andreil? btw just wanted to tell you how much i love the fics you write. you’re a wonderful writer and i adore you [thanks you’re the sweetest!]

♖: Having their hair washed by the other

♟: Patching up a wound

♗: One falling asleep with their head in the other’s lap.

♢: Forehead or cheek kisses

♣: Back scratches or ♚: Head scratches

SUPER COMBO. LET’S GO! read on ao3]

as of now, I only have one andreil prompt left to do but I think I’m probably gonna leave it a few weeks because I want to do something christmassy with it. bear with me, anon! also I wrote a renison prompt which you can find here if that’s your thing.

please don’t send me anymore! :)

*warnings for brief blood mention and a minor injury.*

“I wish you wouldn’t do that,” Neil said, looking up from the sports pages with a frown. There was an article in there about Kevin that Neil wanted to cut out and frame just to annoy Andrew.

The man himself was leaning against the kitchen counter, a bread-roll in his hand that he was slicing with a sharp knife, the blade inching ever closer to Andrew’s palm.

“Do what,” Andrew asked with absolutely no inflection.

“That,” Neil said. Andrew knew full-well what he was talking about; it had been brought up many times before. “One of these days you’re going to cut your hand, and I won’t feel sorry for you.”

The look Andrew shot Neil was dripping with derision. “I do this nearly every day and it hasn’t happened yet.”

“It only takes once.”

Andrew rolled his eyes but made no further reply, and Neil returned his attention to the paper, Kevin’s triumphant game-winning grin staring back at him. The season had just drawn to a close, Kevin’s team narrowly beating out Matt’s in the final. Neil and Andrew’s team had lost to Kevin’s in the semi-final; it still stung, but Neil was proud anyway, of himself and Andrew and the rest of their team. He was even prouder of Kevin.

For now though, he was just looking forward to an extended break. He’d been quietly pleased when Andrew had joined him for a run this morning, and now back, he was planning on hopping in the shower as soon as he’d finished with the paper. Maybe he’d be able to convince Andrew to join him there, too.

“Neil.”

“Hm?”

“You can say ‘I told you so’ if you want.”

“What?” Neil looked up and Andrew was holding his hand over the sink, dripping blood. “Oh fuck, Andrew.”

Neil was out of his chair in an instant and over to the sink. He took Andrew’s wrist and gently turned it over so he could see the wound. Across Andrew’s palm was a thin line; not deep, but still bleeding.

“Is it deep?” Andrew asked. He wasn’t looking at his injured hand but the slight furrow on his brow indicated that it was causing him some discomfort. “I’m not going to the hospital. If it needs stitches, you can do it.”

“It’s not that bad,” Neil said. He turned the tap on and rinsed Andrew’s hand underneath, then grabbed some kitchen paper and stuffed it onto the cut until he could hunt down their well-stocked first-aid kit. “You won’t need stitches.”

He pulled Andrew over to the kitchen table and sat him down, then took Andrew’s other hand and pressed it against the paper towels. “Hold those there, I’ll be right back.”

It took Neil a couple of minutes to track down the first-aid kit in the bathroom. It got more use than he’d like, thanks to the rough nature of their jobs, not to mention Neil was a little accident-prone.

Back in the kitchen, he sat down opposite Andrew and dug through the kit, pulling out disinfectant and bandages. He held his hand out expectantly, and Andrew dropped his injured one straight into it.

Neil carefully pulled away the paper towels and put them aside. “This might sting a little,” he said, and set about cleaning the wound with disinfectant.

Andrew sat through the whole thing in stoic silence, not even a wince as Neil cleaned him up then carefully set about wrapping a bandage around his hand. It wasn’t until Neil was finishing up and taping the bandage in place that Andrew finally spoke up.

“Just fucking say it, Neil.”

“I’m not going to say ‘I told you so’,” Neil said with a sigh. He pressed down on the tape and inspected his handiwork. Satisfied, he got up and packed the first-aid kit away, aware of Andrew watching him the entire time. He smiled, then leaned down and kissed Andrew’s forehead. “I did fucking tell you, though.”

“There it is.”

As it happened, Andrew did end up in the shower with Neil, albeit more out of necessity than anything else. They had to bag his hand so the bandage didn’t get wet, and showering one-handed wasn’t exactly the easiest of tasks.

Neil hurriedly washed his own hair then turned his attention to Andrew. The second his fingers were in Andrew’s hair, hazel eyes slid shut.

“I remember,” Neil said thoughtfully as he lathered up Andrew’s blond hair, “when you had to do this for me.”

Andrew’s eyes flickered back open. “Well, if we’re taking a trip down memory lane, that’s not the only thing I did for you.”

Only Andrew could reference a blow job with such a disinterested expression, and Neil snorted a laugh. “I could do that too. If you want.”

Andrew hummed, considering. “Maybe later. Tired.”

“Okay,” Neil said fondly, before gently guiding Andrew’s head under the spray to rinse him off. “Now. Do you want the conditioner that smells like mangoes or the one that smells like vanilla?”

Andrew eyed the mango one with great distaste. “Vanilla. Obviously.”

“Obviously,” Neil repeated, smiling as he squeezed some out into his hand. He worked it into Andrew’s hair. “So. What do you wanna do for the rest of the day.”

Andrew shrugged. “Nap first. I don’t care what we do later.”

“What do you need a nap for?”

Andrew glanced up at Neil. “Someone got me out of bed ridiculously early to go for a run.”

“Hey,” Neil chided. “You got up of your own accord. It’s not my fault you couldn’t bear to be without me for an hour.”

Andrew’s eyes flashed, but he didn’t deny it.

Neil grinned. With Andrew, it was so often in what he didn’t say, and Neil took these victories where he could.

Once out of the shower and dressed, Neil went to the kitchen to put on a pot of coffee and clean up the mess Andrew had made when he cut his hand.

When it was tidy, Neil leaned back against the counter and waited for the coffee machine to beep. He pulled his phone out of his pocket and checked his messages. There were three unread; one from Matt, one from Nicky, one from Allison. He replied to Matt’s and Allison’s, but Andrew was going to call Nicky later anyway, so Neil could talk to him then.

He poured out two mugs of coffee and made his way over to the living room, but he paused in the doorway and watched for a moment because Andrew seemed to be having some sort of muted stand-off with the cats.

Andrew was sitting on the far seat of the sofa, glaring down at Sir and King who had spread themselves over the rest of it. They were clearly getting in the way of Andrew’s napping idea.

Neil cleared his throat lightly and Andrew looked up. “Come and move your useless fur-babies.”

“You move them,” Neil said, entering the room at last. “Just pick them up and put them on the floor.” He put the mugs on the coffee table.

“If I pick them up, they win,” Andrew said stubbornly. “Also, I’m injured.” He illustrated this by holding up his bandaged hand.

Neil looked at Andrew. Andrew looked back.

“You,” Neil said, “are a ridiculous human being.” He hoisted up a cat under each arm and deposited them on the floor, then sat down and reached for his coffee. As soon as he was sitting back, Andrew spread himself along the sofa, resting his head in Neil’s lap.

“This is a preemptive measure,” he explained tiredly. “So the cats don’t jump back up here.”

Neil took a sip of coffee and laughed lightly. “You know that won’t stop them, right?”

As if they were listening, both cats jumped up within seconds of each other. Sir settled down behind Andrew’s knees, King in front of his chest. Andrew huffed a very put upon sigh, but magnanimously refrained from shoving them off.

“Look at that,” Neil said. “Progress.”

“Shut. Up.”

Neil laughed again and leaned back a little more. He carefully lifted his feet and rested them on the coffee table, earning him a tiny annoyed grunt when he jostled Andrew’s head.

“Alright, alright,” he said, and settled his free hand in Andrew’s hair. “I was just getting comfy.” He scratched lightly at Andrew’s head and then stilled his hand.

A couple of seconds ticked by, then Andrew grunted again.

“What?” Neil asked.

Another grunt, this time punctuated by Andrew pushing his head into Neil’s hand just a little, until he got the message and started scratching again.

“You can use your words, y’know,” Neil said, but he couldn’t honestly say he minded having Andrew warm and comfortable and safe under his hands.

Andrew didn’t respond because he was also incredibly difficult, a trait that was often infuriating but occasionally endearing. Such as now.

By the time Neil had drained his coffee, Andrew’s breathing had gone suspiciously deep and even.

“Andrew,” Neil whispered. “Your coffee’s gonna go cold.”

But Andrew was most definitely asleep, and most definitely did not currently care about his coffee.

It was fine. Neil would make him more when he woke up.

Moving with painstaking slowness so as to minimise jostling Andrew, Neil put his mug back on the table. Then he leaned back, closed his eyes, and let the sounds of his cats obnoxious purring and Andrew’s soft breathing lull him to sleep.

He was home.

[suspiciousgay]

this is gonna be really funny or really fucking stupid

so @ohxfiddlesticks and i went on a lil midnight adventure so uh let’s begin shall we also this is probably gonna be super long so uh

oh and quick thing the reason it’s in text format and not screenshots is they stopped saving past the seventh pic so uh

broadway trash: i mean i can always rebrush alrighty i’ll see if we have anything that’s the equivalent to ginger ale

therapissed: Whoops

broadway trash: i’m taking my phone time for a midnight adventure except not really it’s just bread anyway

therapissed: Yeah I’ll go try to get smth too Bringing my phone

broadway trash: *starts screeching out the mission impossible theme* DUN DUN DUNNA DUN DUN DUNNA BWANANAAAAA

therapissed: We still have that lemon from last time lma o

broadway trash: pfff

therapissed: We have oatmeal cream pies Which isn’t healthy probably but Damn I really need an emoji keyboard for that shrug thing

broadway trash: i’m like prancing around while trying to be super quiet what is this ballerina superspy bullshit

therapissed: Lmao “I’m taking my phone time for a midnight adventure” It’s one lmao Oh we have bread Guess I’ll get that

broadway trash: I JUST COLLAPSED INTO THE FUCKING PANTRY IM

therapissed: Good job

broadway trasg: also good lord everything is so loud at night like plate shush

therapissed: Me @ the pantry door And the fridge door

broadway trash: i looked to my left and i thought someone was running at me i’m dying pfff same

therapissed: We have two radishes in the fridgs Fridge Why can’t I type fridge

broadway trash: ?????? well then

therapissed: They’re just like Laying there Not in a container or anything They’re just

*and this is where you imagine just two radishes sitting there in a fridge*

broadway trash: i almost dropped everything i was carrying hoooooo golly that would’ve been BAAAAD pffff

therapissed: I have two slices of bread and an oatmeal cream pie how did you get so much

broadway trash: ?? what??

therapissed: Idk you said “everything” you it seems like you had a lot Idk my brainsbdndnsnnfndnd

broadway trash: ohh *slams face onto the stove* nah i had some bread and got super hungry so i decided fuck it i’m making a sandwich and i almost dropped the condiments and the plate

therapissed: I could get saltine crackers *faceplants onto crackers* Oh ok Me, making a sandwich: Ok we got the bread and mayonnaise that’s all i feel like getting

broadway trash: pffff

therapissed: Mayonnaise sandwich i guess I found a ginger ale do you want it

broadway trash: sure

therapissed: *throws vaguely in your direction*

broadway trash: pfff thanks

therapissed: Yw It landed about 200 miles from you though Sorry

broadway trash: i misread that as the “uwu” face

therapissed: Lmao

broadway trash: oh well i need the exercise anyway

therapissed: “Here’s to happiness freedom and life” I hear through my earbuds as I make a mayonnaise sandwich at 1:10 AM

broadway trash: pffff same whoops ok the sandwich has been gotten now i want chocolate milk

therapissed: I filled my water bottle and forgot to bring it to the event lmao I’ll grab it when I go up

broadway trash: welp ok i feel like i’m about to get murdered every fucking noise is making me jump help something’s moving around down the hallway THE LIGHTS JUST WENT OUT FUCK IM A GONER

therapissed: Hey no that’s my job Being scared of everything

broadway trash: wtf when did i get mustard on my shirt

therapissed: Pfffft

broadway trash: where are the ghosts

therapissed: Shshshhshshsshshs

broadway trash: mother of fuck the towel keeps falling from its place

therapissed: SHUDH

broadway trash: STAY ON THE FUCKING COUNTER YOU DEMON

therapissed: SHUSH SVUSHSSDHHHHHH

broadway trash: SORRY

therapissed: ITS OK MY HOUSE IS FUCKING CREEPY THO IM DYING SHUS H

broadway trash: alrighty i’m still fucking hungry guess this is what happens when you eat nothing for a whole day wtf i forgot i had a light switch right next to me i was standing here paranoid in the dark for a decade doing nothing

therapissed: Lmao Where’s my water bottle One sec

broadway trash: okie then MOTHER OF FUCK MICROWAVE BE QUIETER actually y’know what fuck it *throws microwave out the window* uuuuuuugh it’s so fucking ominous i feel like i’m about to get sacrificed kill me now

therapissed: My bottle was in the sink under a few things but still full for some reason and when I took it out I died it was so loud

broadway trash: eH

therapissed: Yo do you wanna see ominous

broadway trash: uhh sure

therapissed: One second lemme get back downstairs bc I’m in my room right now

broadway trash: okie

*now imagine a staircase, like the kind from a horror movie*

broadway trash: fUCK

therapissed: There’s two lights on this stairwell and they turn on one at a time slowly

broadway trash: ok i just grabbed the biggest knife we have

therapissed: And that plastic up there? It moves a lot even if there’s only a fan on downstairs Also that pic doesn’t have all the stairs And to the right of me I have this

broadway trash: YEEZUS aAH NOISES FUCK YOU DEMON YOU CAN SUCK MY DICK

*ok now just imagine a black screen, like a void or something idk*

broadway trash: it’s just dark

therapissed: That’s to the right of me Ik Bc the lights are off

broadway trash: CHRIST ON A BIKE WHY IS THE NIGHT SO SCARY

therapissed: And my kitchen spans one side of the entire house (fuck you open-floor plans) and it uses three light switches to light it up and it’s really creepy bc smth could come from either direction while you’re making food and you wouldn’t know And behind me where I was making was a really big window lmao

broadway trash: oh god i legislation just yelled “HONEY CALM DOWM” save meeeeee ;-; legislation good fucking job me

therapissed: Pfffft

broadway trash: NOISES HOLD ON KNIFE WHERE ARE YOUUUU ;-; I JUST GRABBED THE FUCKING BLADE OW

therapissed: I’m eating in my room which is still creepy but like fuck no not the kitchen

broadway trash: wow i’m a real fuckup when scared

therapissed: Same What are you eating btw

broadway trash: chicken whoops there was a single chicken breast in a bag so

therapissed: At 1:30

broadway trash: y e p

therapissed: Lmao I somehow put too much mayonnaise on this sandwich I’m dying

broadway trash: ok so so far i almost broke a plate, got scared of a light, almost stabbed myself in the hand, and almost dropped my glass which is still full of milk my night is going derek swell** who the fuck is derek

therapissed: Pffffft

broadway trash: maybe he’s the thing making all the noises if it’s not him it better fucking be my cat

therapissed: I feel like I’m gonna one day haunt this house and people will just hear the weird laughter of me texting people

broadway trash: pfff yes and same acutally

bob: i was literally gone for like thirty minutes what happened

broadway trash: oH SHIT HI BOB

therapissed: Lmao

bob: oml

therapissed: We scavenged for food and died of fright seventeen times

bob: i

therapissed: We’re like those fainting goats

bob: y’all need a supervisor

broadway trash: i just started cackling for no reason help

bob: like an actual supervisor

broadway trash: is derek possessing me

bob: I’m hiring a babysitter omg

therapissed: Bob you’re our supervisor duh

bob: i was literally gone for thirty minutes

bob sent a video.

therapissed: HDHSNFNDNSJF

bob: this is literally what happened inn the last thirty minutes omg why also jemmy u ok

therapissed: Wait lemme find a video of fainting goats bc that’s what’s been happening to us

broadway trash: THAT WAS ON FULL VOLUME I THINK I WOKE MY NEIGHBORHOOD UP DAMMIT ME am i ever ok oh fuck my chocolate milk got all over the stove ;-; nOISES-

bob: i oh my god

broadway trash: MY SISTER JUST SCARED ME SO BAD I ALMOST KILLED A BITCH

bob: ok also fiddlesticks I’m going to call u tommy unless u want another nickname

therapissed: HOLY FUCK I JUST FOUND A CALL OF THE WILDMAN VIDEO IM CACKLIN G That’s fine

broadway trash: my sister thought i was crying

bob: y’all need a babysitter and r u crying or r u laughing

broadway trash: no i was like nervously cackling

bob: oohok

broadway trash: i think derek’s possessing me

bob: ok

therapissed sent a video.

bob: tell derek it’s bedtime

broadway trash renamed the group “Flagelise, Bucko, Tim, and Bob (and Derek???), the best truer friendshit that lives on Mt. Guf and is made up of beginner crocodiles and trrible draaings that canr tyoe wayways and definitely aren’t suspicious so don’t be suspicious rup lmal iips”

therapissed: TIM I FOUND US OMG

broadway trash: derek is our new demon friend

bob: please tell ur new demon friend it’s past bedtime

therapissed: Dude: *sneezes* Us: *dies* I forgot how ridiculous that show was I think the dude died by crocodile though

broadway trash: e H wow now i’m sad ;-;

trerapissed: Sorry But Are we fainting goats or are we fainting goats

broadway trash: no we’re fainting goats

therapissed: Good argument I take my statement back Bob where’d you go we’re gonna die without you

broadway trash renamed the group “Flagelise, Bucko, Tim, and Bob (and Derek???), the best truer friendshit that lives on Mt. Guf and is made up of beginner crocodiles, trrible draaings, and fainting goats that canr tyoe wayways and definitely aren’t suspicious so don’t be suspicious rup lmal iips”

therapissed: Lma o Oh

Call, 3s

bob: what

broadway trash: WAS THAT ME SORRY wait what

therapissed: Nvm

broadway trash: oh what i’m confused

therapissed: I forgot lmao Tim are you still eating or

broadway trash: no i’m brushing my teeth

therapissed: Okie dokie I love TGC’s Tony performance wtf

broadway trash: i almost fell into the bathtub help

therapissed: . Fainting goat

bob: what are y’all doing

therapissed: We are literally fainting goats personified wtf

broadway trash: i’m dying

bob: jemmy no jemmy please tommy don’t encourage this please

therapissed: I’m not Not trying to at least

broadway trash: I JUST DROPPED MY PHONE IT WAS SO LOUD IM SNORTING HELP

bob: omg

therapissed: WTF TIM WHAT ARE YOU DOIN G

bob: i love u all but what

broadway trash: MY SISTER SCARED ME

therapissed: TIM WHY

broadway trash: HEY BLAME HER NOT ME

therapissed: You are a disaster But so am I So it’s fine

broadway trash: YEA NO SHIT HONEY

bob: how does ur sister scare you so often u were literally in the bathroom

broadway trash: I GET SCARED EASILY WHY DO YOU THINK I HAD A BIG ASS KITCHEN KNIFE WHILE I WAS EATING A SANDWICH

bob: why did u have a knife if u know u get scared easily

therapissed: Bc she gets scared easily

bob: doesn’t that mean ur chances of stabbing someone rises

therapissed: But

broadway trash: ye but

therapissed: She didn’t want to be stabbed by someone else

broadway trash: ye

bob: ur literally in ur own house

broadway trash: IM PARANOID OK

bob: ok fine but no more knife

therapissed: Yes more knives All of the knives

bob: no more knives

broadway trash: they’re right in my kitchen??

therapissed: ALL OF THEM

bob: tommy no

therapissed: Tommy yes

bob: tommy n o

broadway trash: and i have like two pocket knives in my room?

therapissed: Tommy y e s

bob: ok jemmy 1) no and 2) tommy wtf

therapissed: ;)

bob: g r o u n d e d

[countingfights]

About November 25th, on November 26th

Well, it's 1am, so let's say all of this happened earlier today.

We fought, mom, dad and I. Big time. As in, there are bruises on my arms. I already said this once, but in all our years of fighting, no matter how hard he'd hit me there were almost never bruises, which always fascinated me. Today, one bloomed the second he released my arm. Right arm, above the elbow, on the inner side.

He grabbed my arms and tried to break them again. Didn't work, obviously. I told him he was going to break them, well screamed is a better description, and pushed him off, he grabbed my upper arm and pulled me in a choke hold. I managed to pull away once mom started begging us to stop and he eased off to look at her.

Well! That was a sneak peak. Here's from the beginning.

It started after breakfast. We all got up pretty late, I around 12 and them half hour earlier, but it was Saturday and they worked the night shift the night before and I had an awfully busy week what with getting up early to study every day, going to school, studying some more and going to bed, only to get up early again and do it all on repeat, 5 days straight. I needed a sleepy Saturday.

We ate somethong new my mom saw on Facebook and decided to try out. Basically an omelette on a piece of bread. They had two each, I ate only one. Dad left the kitchen by the time I finished my slice of bread. There was another one on the plate and I asked Mom if I could have it. She was quiet for a second and then said that she thought we could leave it to N when she came home from work that night so she could try it. I was a bit disappointed, but didn't show it and got up to make myself a hot dog as I was still hungry after a single peace of bread. She didn't like that.

She asked what I was doing and I told her I was still hungry. She told me to then eat the last bread, but I didn't want to because it was meant for N, and I didn't want to take hers. Then mom started being fatophobic. I am not a skinny person, but I'm not exactly fat either. I have a bit of extra kilograms which are not considered ideal for my hight, but I am perfectly satisfied with my body. Something that in this day and age and in this country if you're not a hanger you can't possibly be happy with your look and you are positively lying if you say you're comfortable in your "oversized" body. You must be ashamed.

Mom started saying how I don't need more food, that I had plenty enough, mind you they ate more than I did. I said okay, but I'm still hungry and breakfast is the most important meal of the day, so please let me choose for myself how much I'll eat. She would have none of that. She stared talking about how if she had listened to her own mother she wouldn't have any weight issues and that I should listen to her too and that I don't go crying to her in a few years when I get even more fat. She said not to call her in the future and complain why didn't she stop me from eating and why didn't she hit me over the head when I ate too much. All of this because I wanted one extra hot dog after basically a single slice of bread baked on an egg. I get that she thinks she was doing the right thing, but come on. I'd get it if I ate an equivalent of an English breakfast and then asked for more, but this was literally a single. Peace. Of. Bread. Sue me for being hungry and not giving a fuck about supposed beauty standards which must be respected if I want somebody to want me one day. Which, by the way no. Just no. That's not how you search for a romantic partner. Guess my mom thinks differently than I do, but okay. Plus it's not like a hot dog would affect my weight, but eh, who am I to spill wisdom.

Skip forward to me giving up and not having any more food because I wanted her to stop lecturing. I was supposed to clean up the kitchen after the breakfast so I asked her if she could stop and please leave the kitchen so I could clean it.

Apparently, that was way out of line and disrespectful because Dad reacted.

How dare I tell Mom where she would go. How dare I presume I have the right to ask for more food. How dare I. I don't need more to eat, if it was enough for them it was enough for me too. I told him they ate twice the amount than I did, calmly. He definitely did not like that.

I mean, I could be wrong, but judging by the speed he was going towards me with murder in his eyes I guess I struck a nerve with my blatant disrespect.

Typical threats of connecting me with the floor and ripping my head from my shoulders followed. Then he hit me. Hard enough so send me flying towards the kitchen window. There he kept hitting. Then the above described thing with arm breaking and attempted chocking happened. He kept yelling he was tired of me, he was done with me, he would end me. I fought back and kicked him behind the knee with my foot to get out of the choke hold. For that, he punched me in the face, hard. My vision got fuzzy for a second there. I wanted to punch him back. So badly. But alas, guess I have more self control than he does, for i didn't do it. Mom made him stop hitting me, because "she couldn't look at that anymore". Yeah, must have been really painful for her.

Dad ordered me to clean the kitchen, sort the clothes from the dryer and clean my room by the time they came back from grandma's across the yard, accompanied with insults and threats such as "or you'll regret it" or "or you'll see what will happen" and "or everything you don't clean in your room will go to trash". Mind you, my room was clean. They usually stayed at Grandma's 15 minutes. To clean the kitchen you would usually need at least 25. But okay, I did it all. And sobbed my soul out when they left to the store half an hour later. After crying my eyes out for a few minutes, i got angryTM. I took my pocket knife and contemplated how to use it best. Hurt myself or hurt something else. As I promised myself never to let anyone make me hurt myself, i chose the latter option.

I flicked the knife open and stabbed it full force into the side of the closet. I knew I would hurt my hand, but That didn't stop me. I did it again, and the metal handle of the knife dug into my palm hard enough to draw blood. I tossed the knife on the table, grabbed a small towel, wrapped it around the hilt of the knife and kept stabbing, making a small stain of blood form on the white fabric. Pink' family portrait played, followed by Melanie Martinez's dollhouse. What can I say, I'm dramatic and it helped get the fury out of me faster. I needed it to go away, before I did bigger damage. There are at least 20 holes in the side of the closet, ruining the surface and another at least ten on the inside of the closet door. Once I was done, I cleaned my hand and put a bandaid on it. My arm hurt like fuck afterwards because I overused it and harshly so after it was almost broken not an hour before, but eh. It doesn't hurt now unless I touch it, so that's a win.

Grandma called me a few minutes later and I went over. I didn't mean to say anything, but she saw I wasn't okay. I told her what happened. Not about the stabbing though, she doesn't have to know that, nobody does. Well except you who is reading this, but you don't know me and really, who are you gonna tell. She said it wasn't my fault. I guess it kinda is, isn't it? It always is.

We went to grandma's nameday party a few hours later and when people asked about the bandage I said it was a paper cut from studying. People laughed. They sure wouldn't be laughing if I told them it was from stabbing a wardrobe repeatedly after being beaten up by my dad.

Oh, right, before we went to the party mom made Bolognese for dinner. I wasn't hungry and frankly even if I was I didn't want to eat with them. The entire situation happened because they didn't let me have more food when I was hungry so why should they make eat when I wasn't? It's exactly what they tried to do. More arguing ensued, but I was too tired for it so I ate three bites to satisfy them and left the table. Sure, I was acting like a brat a bit, but Jesus I couldn't just sit there and pretend we didn't almost murder each other this morning (okay it wasn't each other, I'd stand no chance if he was actually going for the kill), or I'd explode. So I was a bit passive agressive. I was childish because fuck it I'm still a child, regardless of what they want me to be. I'm 17 btw, 18 in 3 months.

We haven't spoke more than 10 words after the breakfast incident. My head was killing me until half an hour ago when I finally succumbed and drank a pill. My head usually hurts pretty badly after I cry, but this was worse than usual. I hope it doesn't have something to do with the fact my head hit the window when he first hit me, and the refrigerator after another hit and then the face punch itself. Here's to hope, eh?