#he's flirting. it may not look like it but this is his unique brand of flirting

[velvetpill]

                   ⊱ ❝ i bet i could get you into pokémon— ❞ among other things. ❝ and create a bingo outta that. ❞ ⊰

[good-beans]

Concept that just popped into my head: Milgram characters doing "get ready with me" videos

Aw, this was so fun!! I always love your hc style of normal au/everyone's chilling, and tried to go the same route -- it was so cute to think about :D

Haruka: Puts on his outfit for the day and explains everything in great detail. He has lots of comfortable items and fun colors. At the very end he speaks off-camera and you realize Muu was standing there cheering him on the whole time. He gets a lot of encouraging comments, and Muu and Fuuta keep an eye on the account to delete any nasty ones that may come in.

Yuno: Shows her outfit, makeup, nails, and bag she’s taking with her. She tries out a variety of styles (not just sticking to the more feminine looks we see in canon). She gives a bit of a tutorial and tips as well as showing things off. Has a main account for her daytime outfits, and a more private one for her nighttime looks. Mahiru is the only one aware of the latter account.

Fuuta: Layers. Lots of layers. There will be three sweatshirts laid out in front of him and you wonder which he’s going to choose before realizing he’s putting them all on. He focuses most on his sneakers and sportswear. He plays loud music over the videos, not knowing what to say. Has gotten into comment-section arguments over those yellow socks.

Muu: Also does a full look at her appearance: nails, accessories, etc. She mentions where you can buy everything, and it’s unclear whether she was sponsored by these brands or is just excited to talk about them. (Whether they’re actually together or not,) she’ll have Haruka on as a guest a lot to show off couple’s outfit ideas. She definitely has the biggest following, and loves recommending Haruka and the others’ accounts.  

Shidou: He doesn’t really know what he’s doing, but his account is getting tons of views so the others keep encouraging him to make videos. He’s just glad to be connecting with the other prisoners as they show him how to do it. He dresses in a mix of the sleek patterned shirts and dad fits, and both types of videos are equally popular. 

Mahiru: None of the serious-faced flirts or little pouty faces – it’s all smiles for her. Every video is basically a full tutorial – she has captions and a voiceover giving commentary on everything. She has the next biggest following, and interacts constantly. She loves getting questions “what should I wear on an x type date?” “How do I dress to impress x type of person?” because she always comes up with the perfect outfit to help. 

Kazui: A bit confused as well, though he does know a lot about style. His interro question makes it seem like he wanted kids – I think he’d really get into the account as one of those “Dad How Do I” types. He talks about matching things, clothes upkeep, shaving/hairstyling. 

Amane: Also wouldn’t have made the videos without prompting from the others, but enjoys it a lot. She usually talks about practical things instead of “vain” fashion: she’s excited to show off a new raincoat, sturdy shoes, useful pockets, etc. Over time, she leans into outfits that are more cute and colorful, gaining confidence in them. 

Mikoto: He started the account as something for one of his design classes, and got really into it. He likes to challenge himself with unique styles and clothing articles, making pretty much anything work. He keeps everything professional in case an employer/coworker sees, but isn’t afraid to add some flirting and flaunting in there. If he’s open about his plurality, he’ll have some special videos, “choosing an outfit for John today!”

Kotoko: Like Amane, she’s more excited about practical outfits. She’ll show off clothes that have good flexibility, places to store and conceal objects, and heavy duty materials. She’ll rate jackets, boots, and other “military-grade” things for what has worked best for her. She’s very attentive to the accounts that follow her – she does full background checks to make sure her info is being used for justice, not more crime. Mahiru convinces her to do a special where she puts all her piercings in and talks about why she chose them/what they mean.

Es: Experiments with a lot of new styles, trying to figure out what they like. They also just play music in the back, not having much to say about each outfit. They'd rather focus on their series of dressing-up-Jackalope videos, much to his dismay...

[adviceformefromme]

Level up Dating Guide Part 1. 

1. Always look like you’re about to run into your ex or worst enemy. Hot as fuck. Ready to slay. And remember, greasy hair, chipped nails, bad fitting clothes have no place in your level up journey. Aim to look immaculate. Find what clothes suit your body shape and stick to those styles. Use Pinterest, and Instagram for style inspo. 

2. Arouse everyone’s senses around you with expensive perfume. Everything about you should scream luxury and regal energy. Oil based perfumes have more depth and smell rich as apposed to overpowering au de toilette. So stay away from anything cheap and sweet. Luxury fragrance brands such as Penhaligons, Le Labo, and Tom Ford are good options. Spray a little of each for a unique scent. Smelling divine on a date levels you up from a 5 to a 10 instantly. 

3. No dates where it’s easy for him and harder for you. Dating has to work for you from the get go. Never go out of your way for a man you’ve just met. He needs to learn from the very beginning that he has to put in work and that means dating is convenient for you, so regardless of how the date goes, you benefit. If you’re meeting him in the evening, make sure it’s a dinner so you don’t need to cook that night. Have a list of favourite restaurants and tick them all off with different dates. He wants to spend the day with you? He can take you for a spa day, that way you get massage, champagne and relaxation out of the date. Men are going to want this to be easy, they’re going to want to invite you over for a movie and take-out, or ‘cook for you’ after the first date and ladies this is a simple test to see how easy you are. He either takes you to that Michelin star restaurant or bye Felica. Next. 

4. Under no conditions do you spend any money to meet this man or spend time with him. There is only gains when it comes to dating, which means no losses, and no spending your own money because ‘you thought it would be polite to split the bill’ is a basic move. Get comfortable with smiling and continuing the conversation when the bills comes. If the man suggests splitting the bill, smile and tell him ‘you’ll get the next one’ and be sure to block and delete that dusties number while he’s paying. We never waste any time on basic men. 

5. We don’t deliver pussy. Ever. This means, no house dates. Don’t put yourself in a position for a man to lure you into the bedroom. It’s not worth it, all the post date anxiety about if he will call, and what are we now. No honey, just no. Keep your legs closed and meet him only in public. There will be plenty of time for house dates once you’re with your chosen man. This also filters out the men who are after a quick bang vs the men who want to get to know you.

6. No chasing. Chasing a man implies he’s running from you. You don’t chase anyone, the only thing you should be chasing is your dreams and goals. You need to have the confidence to know that what is meant for you will not pass you by. And chasing a man and feeling stressed and anxious is not a healthy start to any relationship. If you find this is your default feeling when you get close to a guy, or constantly feel triggered when dating, I recommend CBT (cognitive behavioural therapy) to work through these issues (otherwise if you don’t seek help you may continue to play out the same situations). 

7. Always have at least 3 men on your dating roster. In the world of dating apps (even during pandemic), the turn over can be crazy fast, one week he is your number one guy, the next week you find out he’s heartbroken over his ex and he can’t see you no more. Or maybe he realises you’re not an easy fuck so disappears suddenly. Whatever the reason, you need to remember ALL these men are disposable and replaceable, keep your options open. Always. Never over invest, men are the best actors and often can take weeks if not months to start seeing their true colours. This is the reason why you need options, as soon as one guy drops off, be prepared to replace him with another. 

8. Get clear on your dealbreakers. Actually, get crystal clear on what you’re looking for. Understand what type of man is going to give you the life you dream of. If you love luxury and finer things in life, then why date the guy who only takes public transport and only enjoys basic restaurants? Make sure you date men who are going to elevate you to where you want to be in life. Not men who are going to have you stuck in a life you don’t want or desire.

9. Learn the art of charm, flirting, and feminine energy. Watch films, read books, study women like Marilyn Monroe, and Cleopatra. These women had men hooked, learn from the master seductresses. 

10. Spend time with women who exude the confidence you dream off, women who attract men, women who are confident, women who are where you aspire to be. We unconsciously mirror the behaviour of those around, so ensure you have the right women to learn from in your level up journey. 

[littlemisspascal]

The Infinity Cube Part 1

Main Pairing: Marcus Pike x Female Reader

Side Pairings: Female Reader x Multiple Pedro Characters

Word Count: 1000+

Series Summary:  When you play with a strange cube, you’re transported out of your current reality with your boyfriend Marcus into brand new ones starring alternate versions of your boyfriend who look and act entirely different every time. With each encounter, you start to wonder if you’ll ever make it back to your real universe?

Warnings for the chapter: Language, fluff, confusion, fictional FBI procedures, no beta all mistakes are mine

Author Note: I love alternate realities and once I had this idea I thought it’d be fun to try and bring it to life. This fic is going to be extremely self-indulgent, but fingers crossed somebody out there will enjoy it too 💗

PART 2

You may not look it—bobbing your head along to the One Direction song blaring from your computer, shamelessly mouthing the lyrics—but you take your job quite seriously. You spend eighty percent of your day in the FBI’s collection of recovered museum artifacts and paintings, examining the items with careful, gloved hands and a pair of specially designed spectacles hanging from a chain around your neck.

You’ve worked as an archivist for the FBI’s art crime division for a little over a year. You spend your days cataloging, organizing, and filling out reports. It’s tedious work, but if not for this job you never would have met your boyfriend, Marcus Pike, one of the twenty agents in the division. As far as you’re concerned, the perks far outweigh the flaws.

“Hey, Specs, you ready to head home?”

You look up from your computer, locking eyes with Marcus standing in the doorway. He’s dressed in his usual dark blue suit, but after a long day’s work his dark hair has been ruffled by restless fingers, striped tie hanging undone around his neck, and overall looking eager to cuddle on the couch in your apartment and watch a Netflix documentary.

“Almost, Brown Eyes. Five more minutes.”

“Alright,” he says simply, nodding his head. He grins then, a heart-melting smile that never fails to unleash butterflies in your stomach. “How about I check if there’s any strawberry cheesecake left in the cafeteria?”

“Well,” you pretend to think about it, tapping your chin playfully, “it’d be a shame for something so delicious to go to waste.”

“You read my mind, sweetheart.”

He heads off towards the cafeteria and you shake your head at his antics, a soft, lovesick smile pulling at your lips. You’ve been dating Marcus for six months, but you’d been helplessly falling for him ever since your first month on the job when he started bringing you coffee in the mornings, stopping by to chat with you--sometimes bringing items for you to archive, sometimes just because he wanted to say hello--and offering to walk you to your car when you both were working late nights. You didn’t realize all his efforts had been his attempts at flirting until the bureau’s New Year’s Eve party when he’d admitted he liked you after one too many sips of champagne loosed his tongue.

You’ve never been happier than when you’re with him. It’s sappy as fuck to admit such a thing, but it’s true. Marcus makes you laugh and knows to give you space when you’re upset. He challenges you to take risks and supports you whether things go right or wrong. Most importantly though, he makes you want to be the best version of yourself. 

You turn to shut off your computer, only to stop when your eyes land on your workbench. Two days ago Marcus and his team had determined the location of a warehouse being used to traffic stolen artifacts, including marble statues and ancient pottery. You’re still working on examining all the contents of the haul, but one item stands out as especially unique compared to the others.

It’s oddly similar to a Rubik’s Cube. Same size, shape, and interlocking pieces. Except it’s entirely made of a type of golden metal you’ve yet to identify and it has strange symbols resembling hearts engraved in its sides instead of colored plastic panels. 

You pick up the cube and it's heavy in the palm of your hand, shining faintly beneath the overhead lights. Your eyes linger on the six different heart symbols: a broken heart; a heart with an arrow piercing it; a pair of hearts intertwined; a heart with a keyhole; a striped heart; and a heart entirely devoid of any pattern or accessory, simple and plain. You grew up loving puzzles, reading every Nancy Drew and Hardy Boys book you could get your hands on, and seeing the scrambled symbols has the gears in your brain turning.

“Doesn’t seem so difficult,” you say to yourself, a thrill of excitement shooting down your spine. You grab the top layer and twist it counterclockwise until you hear a quiet click of the piece locking into place and—

The walls of your office spin dizzyingly, colors blurring as if you’d stepped onto a tilt-a-whirl. For a split second you’re certain you’re going to be sick, stomach performing nauseating cartwheels, and then everything goes still once more. You stumble sideways, panting harshly from the sheer shock of it all.

“Oh, kriff,” you wheeze.

And then immediately wonder what the fuck does that even mean? The curse slipped off your tongue easily like you’ve grown up saying it, but you know that’s not true. 

...Right? 

Your unease increases tenfold when you realize you’re not in your office anymore. Looking around, your brain struggles to make sense of all the unfamiliar details: an abundance of crates covered in netting, a storage locker attached to the wall, the weirdest toiled you’ve ever seen in your life, and a ladder with—oh kriff—someone climbing down it.

The stranger drops down onto the floor with a resounding thud as his boots hit the metal. He turns to you, revealing a broad body clad in dark silver armor and a matching helmet covering his whole head. On his hip you notice a holstered, futuristic-looking pistol. 

Blaster, a voice quietly corrects somewhere in the back of your mind, freaking you out.

“There you are, cyar’ika,” he says, and you think you detect a note of relief intertwined within his modulated voice. His head tilts, somehow managing to radiate concern without a visible expression. “Are you okay? Did something happen?”

Your heart does a funny thing in your chest, but you pay it little attention because you know that baritone voice. You know it in the mornings while eating granola bars and sipping cups of coffee. You know it when it’s full of laughter after you’ve told a dumb joke and when it’s arguing over a bad decision your superiors made. You know it sweetly when it compliments you and intimately when it says your name between kisses.

Marcus, you mean to say.

But what comes out of your mouth instead is, “Din.”

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[fallenfurther]

Homecoming

This is a story I’ve been planning for over a year and finally feel readyish to post it. This first chapter has been reread about ten times so it’s about time to release it. It introduces the main OC for the story, which will spend the next fifteen chapters exploring Jeff’s return to earth before Josie comes back into play. 

Thank you @misssquidtracy for being my cheerleader, this would be no where near as far written if you hadn’t enjoyed it so. 

I hope you enjoy chapter one, which is set between Series 2 and 3. 

AO3 and FFN

First Impressions

Josie stood outside the hall and took a deep breath. You can do this, she thought, you already have the invite for the invite only event. They might be the big bosses, the people who matter, but you matter too. You just have to network. Don't sell yourself short. 

She steeled herself again and swallowed. She really didn't belong here. London was a long way from the compassionate community she grew up with in Scotland. But the idea of getting stuck there and never fulfilling her dreams made her determined, despite the imposter syndrome that plagued her. She looked down at herself and tried to feel comfortable. They were her smartest clothes: a black pencil skirt, blouse with frilly collar and a fitted, thanks to Nancy's excellent seamstress skills, suit jacket. They were all high street brands which wouldn't compare to the designer suits and dresses she'd be mingling with. The only saving grace was the simple diamond chain around her neck. Worth more to Josie than anyone would know, and it gave her the courage she needed. Brushing down her jacket and holding her head high she strode forwards.

She had been so fixated on herself that she almost bumped into a mature couple. Josie stumbled out an apology and let them in first. Flustered, and having lost any semblance of confidence, she entered the room. 

****

Another networking event, this time forced on him by Lady Penelope. Scott scouted out the room as he sipped his Scotch. Many eyes were on the two Tracy brothers, all wanting but not yet daring, to approach. The power of his presence in a room of businessmen never ceased to amaze him. 

"Found someone you like yet?" Gordon chimed cheerfully from beside him, though Scott knew him well enough to hear the bored undertone. Penelope had invited Gordon and of course he had said yes, his brother absolutely smitten with the lady. Scott shook his head. Events like this maintained Tracy Industries reputation, though they also gave Scott his player reputation. It was an easy place to pick up a girlfriend or let off some steam. Scott surveyed the room again. Within sight there were a few women who appealed to him. 

"I don't always leave with someone." 

Scott took a sip of his drink. 

"Oh, so you're not the ever-successful ladies’ man we thought you were?" Gordon teased. 

"Well, I didn't say that." Scott chuckled. "I just don't always want company."

Gordon rolled his eyes. "Yeah, right. I bet you've had many failed conquests. You just don't want to admit it."

Scott shook his head. "You believe what you want, Gordon."

"Bet you can't get a random woman to sleep with you," Gordon challenged. 

Scott bit his lip, trying not to rise to Gordon's bait. Yes, Scott had been planning to find some company for the evening, but a bet? He shouldn't sink to that. Thankfully, the CEO of a small engineering company that had worked with Tracy Industries a year ago strolled over. Scott slipped into CEO mode and exchanged the required pleasantries and confirmed that they were considering working with their company again, before one last handshake. 

"So, the Great Scott Tracy is backing down from a challenge?"

Scott rolled his eyes. Gordon was bored and just trying to find a way to entertain himself, but Scott did like a challenge. What's the worst that could happen? With a sigh, he gave in. 

"What are the stakes?"

"If you can't seduce the woman I pick, then you give the swimming pool its biannual clean."

"And if I win, you are on deck lounger duty for a month."

“Deal.”

Gordon held out his hand and Scott shook it. He knew this was a bad idea, but it 

would liven up the evening a little, and Scott was in the mood for a little fun. Something to help him relax after a tough week. His brother’s eyes scouted the room looking for the ideal candidate. The smirk that appeared on Gordon’s face worried him. 

“The next woman to walk through the door.”

Scott raised his eyebrow. It was a gamble, but Scott understood why Gordon had 

done it. He nodded and took a sip of his drink. Both men had their eyes on the door. A few people left, but no one entered. When the door finally opened, they both held their breath. An older couple entered, their outfits and demeanour radiating their importance. A quick sideward glance at Gordon confirmed he was holding back a laugh. Scott sighed before looking back toward the couple. Behind them the door opened again and in walked a lone woman. 

“That one, the nervous blond.” Gordon announced. 

A nod from Scott and he accepted the challenge. His eyes surveyed the woman. She was young, probably about Virgil’s age, and she definitely looked uncomfortable. Her clothing was smart and fitted her well, but he could tell they weren’t the high end fashion that many were wearing that evening. Her hair was loose, brushing down past her shoulders, and there was nothing wrong with her features. She had the kind of appearance most people would look over, including himself, for someone more striking. Scott started to formulate a strike plan. He knew he had to avoid overwhelming her, she probably wouldn’t be expecting to get the attention he was going to give her. He turned back to his brother; whose attention had turned to something else. Scott followed Gordon’s gaze to see Lady Penelope with a tall man, laughing away. The man was obviously flirting with the aristocrat. The clenched jaw and stiffened stance of the aquanaut gave in to jealousy he was feeling. Without a second thought, Gordon strolled over to the gathering and joined in, a fake smile plastered his face. Scott shook his head, before turning back to his target. 

****

The glass was chilled in her hand, and Josie took a sip of the non-alcoholic mojito with the hopes it would help steady her nerves. Practicing her breathing techniques briefly, she turned around only to come face to chest with someone. She was flustered again and felt heat rise in her cheeks. Her eyes fell on the man in front of her and her heart jumped. 

She froze. Her instincts put her on high alert. This man looked like trouble, and she had just made contact with his deep blue eyes. He smiled at her, dimples deepening in his cheeks when he did so. Mind over body, mind over body, she repeated in her head. It was the intensity he gave off, the way he held himself like he was in control. He hadn't been surprised by her almost bumping into him. He'd know she was there and hadn't moved. She'd seen this before at university, she'd learnt the signs from experience. But still, why did they always have to be attractive? Why did they always gravitate to her? Josie rolled her shoulders back and gave him a brief nod. 

“Excuse me.” Josie smiled politely, ducking as gracefully as she could past him. 

“I’ve not seen you here before.”

Josie paused. His deep voice demanded her attention. She was here to network, at least she could get him over and done with. She could keep her cool, watch out for his game. Josie was wiser now. She turned around and held out her hand.

“Josie McNelly, engineer for Taybrooke Aeronautics, Satellite division.”

He shook her hand firmly. The man looked familiar, though she couldn't place where from. 

“Scott Tracy, CEO of Tracy Industries.”

That explained the familiarity. She smile grew as she thought of her brother’s prized 

poster of Jeff Tracy which had hung above his bed. Josie could see the resemblance 

to the astronaut. Same eyes for certain. She'd been shocked at the sudden loss of the great Jeff Tracy. Not that her brother had ever met him, but the astronaut had been such a big part of their childhood. Especially the fights over who was greater, her admiration for Neil Armstrong was still just as strong. The memories threw her, and suddenly she had no idea what to say next. How do you network again? What do you talk about with the CEO of Tracy Industries, one of the best engineering companies in the world? Facts about the company filled Josie's head and thankfully one stood out.

"Tracy Industries doesn't have a UK branch, so may I ask what brings you to London?" 

Josie took a deep breath as the man paused; glad she could make an impression. She congratulated herself while remembering what she was here to do. She'd failed to get a job at Tracy Industries on multiple occasions, maybe this could be a way in. She almost laughed at herself. The CEO was unlikely to care for someone as low down the pecking order as she. Part of her wanted to try, just in case. If people less qualified could get experience and jobs over her by knowing the right people, maybe she could too. That was why she was here, to get the contacts so she could play their game. 

"You've done your research. Tracy Industries works with some UK based companies that are represented here tonight, and the event is being hosted by a good friend of mine. I've not heard of Taybrooke Aeronautics before, care to give me some insight?"

His strikingly blue eyes gazed down at her with sincerity. It threw Josie to see it in someone she suspected of having ulterior motives, however she'd tried to keep her cool. Staying wary, she engaged with him. 

"Taybrooke Aeronautics is a small Scottish company. It started with plane design and manufacturing then branched out into satellites and astronautical technology. It's well known for its niche and unique satellite designs. It's entirely based in Scotland and has various sites throughout the country."

"Have they done anything I might have heard of?"

"Have you heard of Global One?" 

"The GDF's space station."

"Yes, the thrusters that keep it in orbit are a product of Taybrooke Aeronautics. They are actually my design."

"Your design? Aren't they normally developed by a team of engineers."

The surprise on Mr Tracy's face was priceless. It wasn't the first time people were shocked by what Josie could do, and she was planning to make sure it wasn't the last. If she wanted to become a big name rocket designer, she was going to have to blow a few minds. 

"The initial design was mine, obviously other engineers had input over materials and the like, but the actual design hasn't changed much. Taybrooke owns the patent, but my name is on it, so you can check it if you don't believe me. They aren't the only thing I've designed that's currently on orbit. Two of my resistojet rockets were used in some private satellites that were launched late last year."

Josie refused to hide her pride. Her family was proud of her achievements even if they didn't understand them. It was why she was here, to continue making them proud of her. She and her brother had had a dream and she was going to fulfil it if she could. 

"That's impressive. Have you considered applying for a role in the Tracy Industries aeronautical department? I'm sure we are always in need of people with your kind of skills."

Josie took a deep breath. She wanted to believe Mr Tracy. Every engineer wanted a job at Tracy Industries, it was considered one of the industry leads and had fantastic employee benefits. The company was known worldwide for taking care of its workforce, but she had never made the cut. Neither did she believe this man would remember her beyond today. It was time to end this conversation and see if anyone here might actually be interested in hiring an engineer. Josie met his gaze and prepared to say her piece. 

"I have applied for various aeronautical and astronautical roles at Tracy Industries since graduating. I've been called to interview twice, one at the European branch in Germany and another at the Japanese branch. Both times I was turned away for lack of experience. The Japanese branch didn't believe I would fit in with the company's culture and the European job was given to the son of one of the employees. It appears that I’m currently not what Tracy Industries is seeking. It’s been interesting talking with you Mr Tracy, but I have just spotted someone that I would really like to speak with, so if you’d kindly excuse me. Have a pleasant rest of the evening.” 

Josie turned and strode away from Mr Tracy. She headed into the crowd, not looking back, keeping her eyes open for the people she'd flagged on the short guest list she had managed to obtain. There were representatives here that might help get her into the industry. Not that she wouldn't stop applying to Tracy Industries jobs, a girl could dream, but she was realistic. Josie knew she had to work her way up and she needed to make the right contacts. 

****

Scott watched Josie walk away. She weaved into the crowd and disappeared from his sight. Gordon had lucked out and this bet was going to be harder than he thought. Miss McNelly may be nervous, but there was something beneath her words and her guard was up. He would have to change his approach, and unfortunately, he couldn't use Tracy Industries as bait. Josie wanted a job and she seemed to believe Tracy Industries didn't want her. Even if he could promise her a job, he was sure she wouldn't believe him. Scott was so used to women warming to him, swooning over his smile, and in many cases excited by the prospect of spending the evening with someone from International Rescue. Josie hadn't even mentioned it or made an indication that she knew he was part of the elusive organisation. Scott headed to the bar and ordered another scotch. He lent against the polished wood, swirling the drink in thought. He had to get her to lower her guard, to open up. His eyes hit the crowd and he sighed. Scott knew he was going to have to take the plunge. 

Almost an hour later and Scott hadn't been able to get close to Miss McNelly. He'd glimpsed her but being in the crowd meant he had to be polite to the other attendees, especially those who the company did business with. Duty called without the usual klaxon that echoed through the villa. Although Scott did want to be rescued from the current conversation; fisheries in the Atlantic were more Gordon's realm. He inspected the room, going from head to head in search of Miss McNelly. He easily spotted Gordon, standing next to Lady Penelope who was conversing with a young businessman. At least his brother wasn't having much luck either. Continuing, he spotted Mr Sandip with whom he'd had a pleasant conversation with at a previous gala. Excusing himself, Scott headed over to the man, but as he neared, Scott got a glimpse of whom he was talking to. Josie's hands were moving as she described something, and as he stepped up to the pair, he could hear the enthusiasm in her voice. There was a sparkle in her grey eyes that hadn't been there previously. 

"Mr Tracy! How good to see you again? How have you been?"

Mitchell Sandip had spotted him out of the corner of his eye and had turned to offer him a hand, which Scott took with a smile. 

"I'm very well, thank you, though I wasn't expecting to see you here." 

"Yes, well, the representative from the engineering department that was meant to attend became unwell. With so few people free to come, I drew the short straw. Though, seeing you has greatly improved my night."

Scott laughed at the accountant, his friendly demeanour had charmed Scott last time they had met. 

"Now, Mr Tracy, have you met Miss McNelly? She has quite the head for numbers. Unfortunately, she's not after an accounting job otherwise I'd snap her up before anyone else could!"

Scott turned to the woman in question, eyebrow raised. Head for numbers, well she was an engineer. He watched her straight up and nod politely at him. 

"I'm rather good with calculations.”

Mitchell's hand landed on Scott's arm, drawing his attention away from Miss McNelly. The shorter man's hazel eyes peered up at him full of excitement.

"She's being incredibly modest, Mr Tracy. I was certain someone was pilfering funds, and after a week I managed to work out who and how, but I hadn't mentioned it to anyone yet. I’ve just finished collecting all the evidence and sent it to HR. Well, I was just discussing yearly finances with Mr Yang over there, and I was just throwing a lot of numbers about, as you do, trying to show off, when Miss McNelly pipes up saying my calculations are wrong. I told her they weren't, and she said they had to be unless someone was swindling money. I was shocked that she could work it out like that, then she rattled off her calculations faster than anything. Like I said, I hadn’t told anyone and Miss McNelly here was able to work it out in minutes. Obviously, I had to confirm this wasn’t just a one off, so Mr Yang and I rattled a few numbers off, and Josie performed the calculations there and then. All in her head and fast as can be. It was incredible!"

Scott turned with Mitchell back to Miss McNelly. There was a proud smile on her face, even if he could see that she was still nervous. Her fingers were playing gently with the hem of her jacket. 

"I've always been fast with numbers."

"Are you certain you don't want to be an accountant?"

Miss McNelly laughed, a blush coming to her cheeks. 

"As I told the Professor during my interview at Cambridge, when he asked why I was pursuing a career in engineering over mathematics; for me mathematics is easy. I don't want to be bored. I want to be challenged." 

A cheeky grin graced Josie's lips, obviously warming to Mitchell's easy charm. It was hard not to smile around Mitchell, the man had a unique manner that just set people at ease. 

"How about a drink then?" 

“Fantastic idea, Mr Tracy. I’m sure Miss McNelly is in need of one too.”

Scott beckoned over a waiter, who swiftly moved around the other attendees to reach them. 

"I'll have a sherry, if you don't mind."

"I'll have a Scotch please. What would you like, Miss McNelly, another mojito?"

Josie hesitated a moment and seemed to become uneasy, her fingers returning to her hem. 

"Another mojito would be lovely, thank you." 

"Is that all?"

"Yes, thank you."

Scott dismissed the waiter, still intrigued by Miss McNelly. There was so much to uncover, and although he was starting to feel that he'd be cleaning the pool next week, he hadn't given up. Mitchell was just the person he needed to help break down those walls of hers.

"So, a Cambridge graduate then? I've a friend who did engineering at Cambridge university."

"Yes, it's a fantastic institution. It took me a year to find my feet, but I thrived once I did. Did you visit your friend while he was there?"

Scott chuckled slightly at the thought of visiting Brains at university. His father hadn't met the man yet and he would have been a kid himself. 

"No, I never got the chance."

"That's a shame. It's like a world of its own. All the best equipment within old buildings and traditions which go back centuries. Although it was fun at the start, with all the formal dinners and dressing up in your gown, it does get a little mundane after the umpteenth time. Sure, it's a three course meal with wine from some excellent chefs, but you can't eat that rich food every day and it's expensive. I could keep myself fed and watered for a week for the price of two evening meals!"

"I must admit, I didn't make the best decisions when it came to food during my first years in the Air Force."

Scott thought back to the instant noodles and takeaways he'd indulged in on the weekends. The freedom that came with not having to eat Grandma's home cooking had been liberating. Though he did eventually learn to cook a few simple dishes during his time in the Air Force. 

"Most of us make bad choices at university. It comes with being young and free." 

There was a sadness in her tone and her face dimmed slightly. What mistakes had this woman made that she regretted? Did it have something to do with the guard she hid behind? She put on a forced smile, and he knew he had to keep her engaged. Unfortunately, Lady Penelope and Gordon decided to make their entrance to the group. 

"Oh! Why hello Lady Penelope, and you are…."

Mitchell held out his hand to Gordon, who shook it with his usual amount of enthusiasm. Out of the corner of his eye, Scott caught the movement of Miss McNelly's hand. She was once again fiddling with her jacket. 

"Gordon Tracy."

"Ahhh, Mr Tracy's brother. I see the resemblance now."

Scott hid his laugh behind a grin, though he caught Miss McNelly’s eyes darting between him and Gordon. He wondered if she was picking up on the same resemblance. Scott watched as Lady Penelope, and then Gordon, introduced themselves. The drinks they had ordered arrived, and Scott noted the way Miss McNelly took a tentative sip of the drink. The small talk started, though Scott caught the small sips she took frequently, as a way to keep herself busy. She was definitely out of her element, which might explain why her guard was up. He listened in, gaining snippets of information about the woman. Gordon was keen to keep her chatting, probably as a way of distracting her from him, thus improving the chances Scott was going to lose the bet. After a while, Miss McNelly politely excused herself. Scott watched as she headed in the direction of the bathrooms, he hoped that meant she’d be back. 

“Miss McNelly is quite the interesting character, don’t you think Scott?”

Scott could see the small grin on his brother's face and the gleam in his eye that revealed to Scott the hidden meaning. Gordon thought the bet was his and he’d gotten out of his chore. Another business associate of Tracy Industries joined their group and stole Scott’s attention. Miss McNelly never returned. 

****

Finally getting away from yet another business proposal, Scott headed to the bar where Gordon was perched. He lent against it and turned to survey the room with his brother. 

"No success then?"

"As much as you've had with Lady Penelope."

Scott's eyes fell on Miss McNelly. She was chatting with Mitchell again. Maybe he still had a chance. Turning to the bartender he ordered a Scotch and mojito. Gordon raised his eyebrow at the order. 

"One last chance. I'm not going to give in that easily."

Scott grabbed the drinks and headed toward Miss McNelly. She'd just shaken hands with Mitchell and the man had turned to chase down someone on the other side of the room. He took a breath and turned on the charm. 

***

Josie watched Mr Sandip hurry after someone and smiled to herself. He'd promised to pass on her details to recruitment. She was feeling beat but was pretty pleased with her efforts. She'd sold her company and thrown out a few business cards. Hopefully she'd made her mark. The whole event hadn't been as bad as she'd expected, though that one alcoholic drink had eased her nerves a little. She was happy to have been able to keep it to one. Glancing at her watch, she confirmed it was late and she still had some travelling to do. It was time for her to leave. 

"Miss McNelly, care to have a drink with me?"

Dread filled her as the familiar voice spoke from behind. Turning she immediately noticed Mr Tracy was standing between her and the exit. She took a deep breath. In the man's hands were two drinks: an amber spirit and a mojito. Her breath caught in her throat, the situation bringing her back to a night she wanted to forget.

"You got me a drink?" 

She stared at the glass. She suspected it had alcohol in it, having ordered one in front of him, but what else did it contain? She couldn't confirm it wasn't spiked. Would he do that sort of thing? Save people one day, drug them the next? Rich people never made sense to her though. They defied logic. 

"I thought we could chat a little more." 

He held out the mojito, forcing Josie to make a choice. Did she trust the man? She looked up into his face. He had a warm smile that met his eyes and she wanted to trust him. She wanted so much to believe he was a good guy. But her fear was there, deep inside as it always was, and she couldn't. She smiled at him as she reached out her right hand and plucked the glass of what she hoped was scotch, from his grip. Josie kept her eyes locked on his as she raised the glass to her lips. The amber liquid was not one she'd tried before, probably a vintage out of her price range. She was thankful it wasn't peaty; she hates those. His mouth dropped in shock as he looked at the cocktail in his hand. Josie couldn’t help the smile as she fought not to laugh. She let the liquid roll over her tongue and down her throat. 

"I'm Scottish and it's the end of the night. You never asked me what I wanted." 

She locked eyes with him as the shock faded from his face. Mr Tracy glanced down at the cocktail briefly, indecision in his eyes. Josie was still on edge, ready to step back if she had to. She decided to test the water. 

"Take a sip. The mojitos here are the best."

Josie challenged him. If he refused to drink it then it must be spiked. If it wasn't, there was no reason not to take a sip. His hand stayed where it was. 

"I'd rather the scotch."

"This scotch is mine now, and you don't want to waste that drink now, do you?"

****

Miss McNelly's face was serious. Scott felt slightly uncomfortable under her scrutinizing gaze. It was a challenge. For some reason, she wanted him to drink the mojito. He hadn’t expected her to take his drink and she had sipped it without grimacing. Never before had he met someone who acted as she did. Most people wanted to know more about him, most pestered about International Rescue, but not Miss McNelly. It felt like she had never warmed to him, even if she had seemed better and more relaxed during their conversation with Mitchell. Scott didn't want to drink the mojito; it was his most despised cocktail. What was this woman's game? 

"No, thank you."

"Fine." 

Scott was shocked again when Miss McNelly took the cocktail from him. What happened next, happened both at lightning speed and in slow motion. There was nothing Scott could do to stop it. 

"Thank you for the drink, but I don't appreciate the attention you've given me. I tried to make it clear I wasn't interested."

The cocktail glass was thrust in his direction, its contents flying out at him. Ice and mint hit his face as the sticky fluid started to soak into his shirt. As if that wasn't enough Miss McNelly stood on her toes, stretched up and poured the scotch into his hair. It trickled down his neck. 

“I’m not interested.”

Miss McNelly stalked past him. Scott didn't know how to react. One part of him wanted to storm after her and demand an explanation, though that would probably make things worse. This is what he gets for accepting a silly bet. He turned on his heel and headed towards the exit. Gordon was sitting at the bar and the smirk on his face became laugher as Scott approached. His brother was struggling to stay in his stool. 

"I'm calling it a night."

"Sure Scott….I look forward...to watching you...clean the pool." Gordon gasped between spasms of laughter. 

****

Josie bolted. She started running once she had heard the door shut. She didn't stop, not looking back and running as fast as she could to the nearest light rail station. Fear was a great motivator, and she didn't slow until she was on the platform where she gasped for breath. Josie had never been a runner. She hated it. Her eyes never left the entrance until she was on the train. Only then could she start to relax. Once in the carriage the tears started to fall. She’d overreacted. She'd made a scene. Her body shook. How stupid could she be? Slipping her phone out of her jacket she swiped up her call history and tapped the first person on the list. 

****

Josie lay back on the bench. It was around the corner from the hostel she’d booked for the night. The cheapest way to stay in London was to share a bunk bed with a stranger. There was no way she could have a private conversation in a room of sleeping people, and this random street bench was the easiest option. If there was ever someone she needed right now, it was her best friend Graham. His thick Scottish accent rang out from her phone. 

“Seriously Josie, ye need to stop seeing every man as a potential threat. Cannae a man just be polite?”

“I don’t suspect all men, just the ones that make me feel uncomfortable.”

“Ye said this guy was Scott Tracy, right?”

“Yes.”

“Scott Tracy, the Commander of International Rescue and pilot of Thunderbird One?”

“Maybe, I can’t remember which one flies which.”

“Hold on, ye can list every damned fact available about the Thunderbirds, but ye cannae tell me who pilots them?”

“You sound like my brother! Why should I care who flies the Thunderbird? I want to know how they fly!”

Graham rolled his eyes, and Josie couldn’t help but laugh at him. She twisted onto her front, her arm aching from holding her phone in the air. 

“Well, I’ve looked him up and I think ye would have been safe to drink that mojito. Although I’ll admit that he probably was hitting on ye. According to the gossip blogs he has picked up the odd girlfriend from events like that. Not that they last long, with him spending most of his time savin' people. If ye hadn’t been so aggressive ye could be heading back to Scotland with a great story! Imagine being able to say ye slept with the pilot of Thunderbird One!”

“A. I prefer Thunderbird Three. B. I’d rather spend the night with Thunderbird One herself. C. If I’d known, I would have given him your number.”

Josie stuck her tongue out, only to watch Graham contort his face in response. They both ended up in a fit of giggles. 

“At least ye still have a good story for the next campfire. Many girls have slept with Mr Thunderbird One, but I doubt many can claim they threw a drink in his face.”

A groan left Josie as she placed her forehead against the wood, breathing in its damp musk. She was never going to forget this and once it’d been passed round the town, it would definitely make its way to work. They would never let her go to another event again. 

“I’m an idiot. The whole night was pointless. No one is going to want to hire me now.”

“Definitely an idiot. They only let those into private schools.”

Josie scowled at her friend, though she was fighting a smile. It was an old joke, one that Graham used when she needed to see perspective. It reminded both of them how far they had come. Even if Josie was still stuck in Scotland. She yawned at the same time as the fifteen-minute warning was announced on Graham’s end. 

“Looks like we’re both in bunks tonight.” 

“Righty-ho. G'night Josie.”

"G’night Grey.”

Josie was just about to end the call when Graham decided to get the last word in. 

“And Jo, FYI Gordon Tracy pilots Thunderbird Four.”

Josie glared at him. The last thing she heard was Graham’s laughter as the screen went black. Cradling her phone in her hand, she stared at it, before turning her head to the sky. She couldn't see the stars that she knew were there. Josie may not have her dream job, yet, but Graham always reminded her of how lucky she was.

[absentcaryatid]

These Breasts Belong In Your Hands

Chapter One of the Juicy Cock Saga, an ATEEZ fanfic by AbsentCaryatid

Fluff and innuendo only, all talk and no action but still markedly NSFW, 1K words

You may wish to read the Prologue first: She Came on a Red Motorbike

~

“These Breasts Belong In Your Hands” the large letters in an attention grabbing neon shade screamed across San’s chest. The illustrated fried chicken shirt had actually been a freebie thank you gift to Yeosang after his 25th chicken delivery order but the mortifying shirt was never going to be his style so San had eagerly taken over the castoff item.

The innuendo clearly agreed with him because he also was wearing the matching sweatpants sold at your restaurant boldly emblazoned on the abdomen with “Juicy Cock will satisfy you!” Once your eyes returned upward San greeted you with a self-satisfied smile but an apologetic shrug at his laundry laden arms so he turned away from the door to call out the now standard running joke among the housemates, “Yeosang, your true love is here.”

Following the delightful scent Yeosang soon arrived at the entryway to find you face palming with your free hand, shaking your head, but also giggling slightly from underneath it. Sighing wearily but with affection he apologized saying “San can be a lot sometimes. Wooyoung too, he has a matching set except he got the pants that say ‘never dry, always moist’ up the inner thighs.”

You nodded in embarrassed recognition.

“They like to torment the convenience store clerks with their salacious outfits.”

“I would not call mutual flirting with the convenience store clerks torment,” San called from the couch nearby as he folded his freshly washed clothes.

Mingi looked up from his phone. “Really? The cute one and the tall one?”

“Yeah.”

Considering the issue you observed, “Well it is probably torment for the clerks if the flirting never goes further.”

“Oh is that all that happens?” San grinned.

Wooyoung chimed in to add, “What makes you assume we haven’t gone further?”

The shock on Mingi’s face was only partially about the escapades of his teammates. “Is this why I’m never the one getting free samples put into my bag?”

Your attention returned to Yeosang who had been laughing along with the exchange. Standing there yourself in a work shirt bearing “JUICY COCK TAKEOUT AND DELIVERY We come fast!” you began to ask forgiveness for your own apparel.

Really this was all your family’s fault for making the lewdly suggestive garments. You recalled how your grandmother had named the restaurant Juicy Cock hoping the perfectly innocently explainable English words would entice customers. “But you see we haven’t had the heart to tell her it is all smutty. Mom and her sister did not get that vocabulary in English classes and I was horrified once I learned enough of the slang to recognize it as innuendo.”

In the back of your mind you did harbor suspicions about how much your uncle understood and if he should have headed all this off years ago. The blunter the tie-in clothing messages became the more you knew somebody making decisions for the company had to be aware of all the double entendres. The odds of every message having a 'not safe for work' interpretation were astronomical.

“Your grandmother knows more than you give her credit for. My guess is she only plays innocent but knows a fantastic market strategy when she sees it.”

You nodded at Yeosang's thoughtful and probably accurate assessment then conceded he did know a bit about branding with ATEEZ being a perfect name choice.

“Our group ranks high in English alphabetical order plus if you search for ATEEZ online the unique name gets you only the right results.”

Following his train of thought prompted you to say, “We aren't so much a category dominator with ‘Juicy Cock’ though. Of course I have never tried it, looking it up on a search engine that is, or well, either meaning actually,” you deadpanned. Your eyes widened in absolute horror as you realized you just really did have that conversation out loud in front of your favorite idol and the assorted living room crew instead of merely in your head.

“Crap! Oh shit, I said crap! Oh fuck, I said shit!” This was really not your day. You clapped a hand over your mouth before your panicked mind ran away with you further though how it could escalate any worse you could not imagine.

Concerned you had lost your best customer forever and paralyzed by fear you waited out his silence. Time slowed to a crawl as you pictured how swiftly your grandmother would hear of your royal screw-up. People don’t fire family, right? Just doomed you to a remaining lifetime of servitude over the dishwasher and garbage cans and as far from any customer interaction as possible. Maybe you could change your name and open up a branch in another town in another country on another continent. Was Mars an option?

As Yeosang turned back toward you and straightened up again you observed his face was deeply red. Not good. You feared it was in anger or embarrassment but it seemed more like he had stopped breathing temporarily. Finally regaining enough air he began howling uncontrollably with pent-up laughter. This was no demure “hehet” or fake scoff you had heard from him before, there were tears in his eyes already falling on both sides of his face. So maybe you were not on the brink of unemployment. You hoped.

Already having passed over the bag of chicken long ago there had been no need to have lingered at the door. You had been enjoying your frequent interactions together too much and it surprised you how easily the two of you had fallen into a habit of casual conversation beyond the necessities of your roles of customer and delivery person.

Suddenly you had found your normally reserved self too relaxed today and look where it had gotten you. Quickly slinking back to the elevator area you noticed it took the longest time ever for it to reach the floor you were on. Daring a sideways glance, you could tell the door to their apartment was still open with Yeosang watching your disappearance. He may have just been frozen there in mortification. It took all your willpower refusing to turn enough to catch the expression on his face.

~

On to Chapter Two: Makes Your Mouth Water and Fills You Up

Look forward to Seonghwa saying “You’ve come again.”

Masterlist

[softtransbf]

Mister Nice Guy, part 1

Summary: You’re new to the BAU and get along well with everyone, almost. You can’t figure out why the infuriatingly handsome Dr. Spencer Reid seems to hate you so much.

Word Count: 2222

Reader: Trans man, he/him pronouns, no physical description.

Warnings: Alcohol, brief description of a case and therefore murder. Nothing graphic.

(Part two)

~~~~~~~~~~

It was your first day at the BAU, and you were so excited. It took all of your willpower not to skip from the elevator to your new boss' office. You definitely caught a sideways glance from an incredibly handsome man with very expressive eyebrows, but you didn't let it concern you; you'd worked too damn hard for too damn long to let anyone bring you down today. You got to the door and knocked sharply. 

"Agent L/N, please, come in," came a voice from inside the room. You took a deep breath and walked through the door.

You'd heard stories about Aaron Hotchner and the BAU- everyone had. Most people only heard the good parts- the heroic tales, the happy endings. But you liked to be prepared, to know the truth of what you were going after, so you'd also paid attention to the quieter whispers. The imposing boss who never smiles, the weird and maybe-pseudo-sexual relationship between the exuberant tech analyst and one of the profilers, the betting pool on whether or not the two female profilers were secretly gay for each other, true crime writer extraordinaire and profiling legend David Rossi leaving retirement to mostly be snarky, and the young agent with multiple doctorates who is smarter than seems humanly possible. You would never admit it, but you were particularly eager to meet the genius. He guest lectured once in your friend's linguistics class your last semester before graduating, and xe wouldn't shut up about him for an entire week. When you told xem that your transfer was approved, xe begged for "a full rundown on what he's like up close and personal" after your first case. But first, you needed to meet with SSA Hotchner.

"Please, take a seat." He gestured to the chairs in front of his desk. 

"Thank you. It's a pleasure to meet you, sir." You thanked your lucky star that your voice didn't shake.

"It's a pleasure to have you. I heard nothing but the best about you from your previous supervisor. Officially, all the paperwork has gone through for your transfer, but I would like to ask a couple of questions before we get started." 

"Of course, sir. What would you like to know?" One corner of his mouth ticked up slightly for a fraction of a second, and you counted that as a major victory.

"First and foremost, why are you interested in the BAU?" You relaxed slightly; you'd prepared for this question.

"Human behavior is nothing short of fascinating. Everyone is shaped by a unique set of experiences, but at the end of the day, we all behave in documented patterns. Everything matters, because it shapes who we are, but also nothing does, because we all end up in one of a finite number of 'shapes', so to speak. No one is the same, but we all exhibit set behavioral patterns. No matter what someone's gone through, at the end of the day, they are still understandable and predictable. I find that absolutely fascinating, and the work that the BAU does with that is incredible. I want to be a part of it, and I have the skill and drive to do so. After all, the BAU essentially wrote the handbook for Crisis Negotiation."

"That is a very interesting perspective, agent." His face was neutral, but you detected approval in his tone. "I only had one other matter to bring up- I see two different first names in your paperwork, and two of your references refer to you with different pronouns. Which name do you prefer, and what are your pronouns?"

You were floored; you'd never had a supervisor so casually look past paperwork outing you. "Y/N, sir, and he/him/his."

"Wonderful. Well, Y/N, welcome to the BAU. Let's go meet the team, shall we?" You nodded and followed him out his door into the meeting room, where the rest of the team was assembled.

"Everyone, this is Special Agent Y/N L/N. He has just transferred from Crisis Negotiation."

"Oh! New guy! Hi hi hi! I'm Penelope Garcia, just call me Penelope, and I do all the tech-y, research-y stuff." She made her way across the room to you as she spoke, talking with her hands.

"Pleasure to meet you, Penelope! I love the look you're rocking, by the way. Those shoes in particular are magnificent." You knew you were being the gay sterotype that you'd spent your career trying to avoid, but shoes that good could not go uncomplimented.

"Oh my goodness, thank you!" she said to you before stage-whispering to the rest of the team, "I like him! Let's keep him." The team laughed, and you blushed. It seemed that Hotchner had wordlessly passed on the duties of making the introductions to her, because she pointed to the agent closest to her, handsome-guy-with-the-eyebrows from earlier, and continued on. 

"Okay, so, this is Derek Morgan, Emily Prentiss, Jenifer Jareau, but we all call her JJ, David Rossi, and Dr Spencer Reid." They all nodded, smiled, and/or waved slightly when they were introduced, with the exception of Dr Reid, who looked almost like he was looking at a puzzle. You chalked the feeling in your gut it gave you to first-day nerves.

"It's a pleasure to meet you all, and I look forward to getting to know you all better as time goes on." You were addressing everyone, but something about the way Dr. Reid was staring at you made it difficult to look away from him for too long.

"Wonderful! Now, as much as I wish we could all chit-chat and get to know Y/N better, we do have a case. Last night, a body was found in San Francisco's Golden Gate Park."

The case was interesting, twin injustice collectors, one more mission oriented, the other interested almost entirely on experimenting with different forms of torture on the victims. The former, over the weeks between kills, had started dating one of the local detectives, neither of them knowing of the other's involvement in the case. You were there when that information came to light at the killer's arrest, and you were able to diffuse the situation, ensuring that no one was harmed.

On the flight back, Prentiss insisted on the whole team going out for drinks to welcome you to the team. Hotchner declined, because he needed to get back to Jack, and Rossi said he had "plans with Tony Bennett", but everyone else agreed, mostly enthusiastically. It took significant persuasion from JJ to get Reid to agree to go out with you all. For the whole case, he was abrupt and distant with you, despite your best efforts. You knew it was silly, but you really wanted your coworkers to like you, so you decided you were going to do your absolute best to get him to like you by the end of the night.

-

"Hey, doc, first round's on me. What'll it be?" You'd noticed during the case that he shrugged off all of your attempts to start a conversation, but you figured that even he wouldn't ignore you under these circumstances.

"Uh, white wine would be great, thanks."

"White wine? At a dive bar? Does this bar even have white wine?" You'd intended to be charming, but, seriously, white wine? Who was this guy?

He opened his mouth, clearly indignant, but he was interrupted by Morgan chuckling from behind you both.

"That's why we go to this dump, newbie. It's the only bar in the area that serves white wine, which is all Pretty Boy here drinks." He winked at you and playfully elbowed Reid in the ribs.

You threw your hands up in mock surrender and chuckled. "Okay, okay, white wine for the good doctor it is. What's your poison? I'm sure word's gotten around that the first round is on me."

"You know, I might have heard something about that, and I most definitely wouldn't say no to a dirty martini." He winked at you, and your chuckle turned into full-on laughter.

You got the bartender's attention and ordered their drinks and a Jack and Coke for yourself. "It's a damn shame you're straight, Derek. Truly a crime against queer men everywhere, although I'm not so proud I can't admit that I'm a bit glad you're not competition."

"Wait wait wait, how do you know I don't like a little meat on the side?"

"So, sidestepping the fact that not all men have penises and some women do, you are so hetero that it's almost painful. Look around; men of all shapes and sizes outnumber women 2 to 1 at least. But you've spent the whole night making eyes at those women over there." You pointed to a table on the other side of the room. "Plus, I may or may not have received a very detailed string of texts from Penelope that essentially amounted to a crash course on all of y'all. I get a feeling that she might like me a little bit."

"My bad on the meat comment- I'll definitely fix that. And speaking of Penelope being a font of information, she's been uncharacteristically tight-lipped about you. What's your big secret, new guy?"

You raised an eyebrow and sipped your drink. "All you need to know is that Hotch, who strikes me as even more protective of this team than he lets on, which is really saying something, knows, and he cares less than any brass I've ever met. And I know for a fact that if Penelope thought it was concerning, she'd have at least voiced some suspicions about me, if not told you outright. I'm not ashamed of it, it's just none of y'alls business. Anyway, the blonde from the table you were eyeing earlier is coming over to see if we've been flirting this whole time so she knows whether to flirt with you or gush about how she's always wanted a Gay Best Friend oh my god. If I'm still here, it'll be both, and I'm allergic to that particular brand of cishet nonsense. Have fun, good-lookin'." You chuckled and patted him on the shoulder as you left, and out of the corner of your eye, you saw Reid roll his eyes, down his drink, and walk in the other direction. What is his deal? Whatever. I'm not about to let him wet blanket all over tonight. You took out your phone and sent out a couple of quick texts.

[To: Penelope]: Thank you for not outing me. It means the world to me. Let's get brunch sometime?

[To: Nerd <3]: you sure Reid seemed pleasant when he lectured? that has Not been my experience with him so far. you were right about him being Cute cute, though, damn. a Gay could get lost in those big brown eyes, and in different circumstances I'd climb him like a tree. shame he's Like That lmao

Looking up from your phone, you saw Emily and JJ nearby, so you went over to join them. 

"Oh em gee Y/N you're gay? I had, like, no idea! We should, like, totally get brunch and then go shopping! This is gonna be so much fun; I've always wanted a gay best friend!" You rolled your eyes and laughed at Emily's terrible Valley Girl accent. "Unfortunately, I did not spend my time in the closet learning anything about clothes. I only dress halfway decently for work because my friend dragged me to the mall and updated my wardrobe when I applied for this position. It's all xir doing."

"Well, xe has excellent taste." You mentally filed away JJ's effortless use of neopronouns.

"I'll be sure to let xem know! I'm so down for brunch, though." You checked your phone. "Looks like Garcia is too!"

"Damn, you work fast. You'll fit right in here," Emily laughed.

"Honestly, I'm a little bit blown away by how awesome and welcoming you all are. Well, mostly. Is Spencer like this with every new person, or did I somehow do something to offend him?" Emily and JJ shared a look you couldn't quite read before JJ answered.

"Spencer…" she hesitated, "He's going through something right now. I'm sure he'll figure it out soon, and things will smooth out." 

So you waited. Weeks passed, and you fit in well with the team. You ended up getting close to Derek and Penelope in particular, and you kept trying to make nice with Spencer. Weeks of cold shoulder and as few words as possible to you while being his normal, verbose self with everyone else. So, three weeks into your new job, on a night out with Derek and Penelope you made a decision.

"Look. It's been weeks, and the guy still won't say more than 5 words to me. I'm done trying to… I don't know what I was even trying to do," you slurred, you’d probably had one drink too many. "Make a friend, maybe? I don't even know. But I'm done. He wants to give taciturn bordering on rude? Then that's what he'll receive. Let's see how Pretty Boy likes a taste of his own medicine. No more Mister Nice Guy." You wouldn't remember the look they shared until much later.

And so, your silent war with Spencer truly began.

[wonderland-in-bloom]

the battle for a princess pt.1

[dorm leaders x reader]

@selfinsertheaven asked: Yaaaaaaay I've been waiting for this!!!! If it's not too much to ask, could I get a oneshot of the House Leaders falling for female reader who's basically a Disney princess (kind, gentle, can sing really nice, the works) and them trying to make her fall for them/compete for her heart. Thank you so much I absolutely adore your writing!!

wooop i’m always up for a challenge [^v^] and also thank you!

♡

HEADMASTER crowley was baffled to feel the tension building up in the air. all seven dorm leaders were gathered in the mirror chamber for a usual dorm leader meeting, but something was just off about today. no one started talking, not even azul. crowley noticed that every either avoided eye contact with each other, or they would glare daggers at each other. “OKAY EVERYONE, WHAT’S GOING ON?!” all the seven dorm leaders flinched, but no one answered. 

“nothing. now then let’s get this meeting started.” azul just snapped. the meeting was awkward and unlike usual when they would get off topic and actually talk to each other, no one branched off. not so much as talk. crowley sighed and just facepalmed. teenagers. “that’s all.” azul mentioned. “WHAT?! IT’S ONLY BEEN FIVE MINUTES!” crowley almost fell back in his chair. “there’s nothing else to discuss. now may i please be excused from this room filled with...these people.” crowley sighed but nodded. all the dorm leaders left. that was awkward. he wondered what that was all about. all the dorm leaders branched off to go in different directions but they had one place to go to. and that was to you. yes. all seven of the dorm leaders were head over heels for you. is that a good thing? is that a bad thing? no one knows. the boys found you in the courtyard, sitting in a bench alone. a ray of sunshine shone perfectly on your face and illuminated all of your perfectly sculpted features. 

alright, this is the perfect chance for me to go her they all thought, but before even making a step forward out of their hiding places, a small petite figure stepped out. someone all too familiar for vil. “(y/n)-chan.” you turned your head around to see a smiling epel walking towards you, books in hand. “yes epel, what do you need help with?” you tucked a strand of hair behind your ears and all the seven dorm leaders died. how perfect were you? you were like a literal princess. epel took a seat next to you and you two started working. this fact didn’t sit well with vil. he was jealous of epel. how could he, a mere first year, spend time with you, and he, the dorm leader, didn’t? just like a telepathic signal, rook came out of nowhere and vil tugged on his collar. “rook, please be a dear and make sure epel comes back to the dorm. under. all. circumstances.” a bead of sweat trickled down rook’s forehead. “o-oui! you’re the boss! boss!” vil practically pushed rook out there to the ‘battle zone’ and he started walking towards you and epel. “bonjour mon amie! epel!” sparkles managed to surround rook as he said this. “urgh, what are you doing here?” epel shot at him. rook clutched his heart dramatically. “why it’s simple! i’m here because-”

“oooh (y/n) i love that nail polish shade on you. where did you get it?” and thus rook was distracted from his main task. vil groaned and decided to go over there himself and stop the both of them. “you two!” he shouted. rook and epel jumped to meet the horrifying figure of their dorm leader. rook’s sweat was now flowing like a waterfall. after all, he did forget to do the task given by his boss. “ehehe...” he chuckled. vil just stomped and flipped his silky blonde hair. “aren’t you two supposed to be in the pomefiore dorms right now?” epel raised an eyebrow. “eh but theres-” vil shushed him. “no excuses. pomefiore dorm. now.” epel rolled his eyes and quietly muttered a yes mom and rook just did as he was told. “vil, maybe you should be a bit nicer to those two you know.” you spoke in a gentle tone. “i’m sorry love.” he took this opportunity to sit down in the now empty spot of the bench beside you. “you look stunning today, as always.” he bent down and kissed you hand. the other six dorm leaders were noticing this and began to either clench their fists or started prepping their magic pens. “would you care to join me tonight in the pomefiore dorms? i would love you to try out a new shade of lip tint i formulated.” you chuckled. “really? i don’t think i’m that type of girl...besides i don’t look pretty enough for the part.” vil took both your hands in his. “what nonsense! you are one of the most beautiful people i’ve ever set my eyes on.” 

kalim didn’t like to hear this the most. he wanted to bring you on a magic carpet ride later tonight and show you some of his most favorite sights! his eyes sparkled when he saw jamil walking towards you and vil. obviously ruining your moment. “sorry for the intrusion, (y/n), prefect schoenheit. but have you seen kalim anywhere? he has an ‘important’ delivery for him.” kalim came out from behind a bush and started walking to the three of them. “ahaha! jamil perfect timing!” vil furrowed his eyebrows. ah, so this was kalim’s plan. “i must go take care of other matters. (y/n), do you accept my invitation?” you nodded. “of course vil! anything for you.” you smiled making his heart melt and it honestly brightened up his whole day. he cleared his throat and excused himself, but secretly cussed at kalim while walking away. “so listen (y/n), i ordered some brand new magic carpets and they just arrived! they’re all exclusive and limited edition!” jamil sighed and wanted to fall to the floor. that’s his delivery?! he already had more than 100 magic carpets. “so i was thinking...want to try them out with me tomorrow night?!” he cheered, anticipating for your answer. “it sounds fun! sure!” you giggled. “i’ll make sure you won’t fall.” he joked. jamil just sighed at his pathetic excuse of being a flirt. he dragged kalim by the collar and started dragging him away. “SEE YOU TOMORROW NIGHT (Y/N)!” kalim waved to you as he was practically being choked by his own collar while being dragged away by jamil. 

leona saw this as a perfect opportunity to capture his prey. he backed away from the wall and headed towards you. you were immersed in a book while sitting down on the bench and leona just slumped next to you. he slung his arm around you and rested his head on your shoulder. “hah~sleepy again hm?” you smiled at his figure and brushed your hand against his cheek. you were too kind for your own good. am i in heaven? leona thought to himself. you rested your head against his own against your shoulder as you continued reading. it was comfy indeed. “LEEEEEEOOOONAAAA-SAN!” leona woke up from his short slumber. no. NO. NO. ruggie used his unique magic on leona and made him stand up. “there you are!” he scolded. “senpai, there’s the annual savanaclaw training today.” jack added. “tsk. piss off you two.” he tried to turn away but forgot he was under control ruggie’s unique magic. “there’ll be none of that. come on already!” ruggie started walking away and leona followed. damn that sneaky bastard’s magic. leona groaned to himself. well a moment with you was better than nothing. you were baffled by the three dorm leaders coming to you in such a short time. you shrugged it off and continued reading before being interrupted by screams. “OH NO! THIS IS BAD THIS IS BAD!” 

ace and deuce came running to you. “(y/n)-chan! one of the hedgehogs are sick! they need tending to!” with your love for animals and knowledge on how to take care of them properly, you stood up hurriedly and your motherly instincts kicked it. “take me to them!” riddle chuckled to himself as this was the perfect opportunity for him to get closer to you in the heartslabyul dorm. he used his magic to transport himself to the heartslabyul gardens to where the hedgehogs are. riddle held the sick hedgehogs in his hands and waited for you to arrive. “riddle-kun!” you exclaimed and rushed by his side. “shh, shhh. it’s okay little one.” he cooed. “want to help me take care of him, (y/n)?” 

what you and riddle both failed to realize, was that the three remaining dorm leaders had a plan up their sleeves. 

♡

yeets part one done! okay so this fic basically just involves everyone lolol. 

love, a♕

[nightswithkookmin]

I think Jikook acts different on cameras yess they flirt a lot but they don’t show us everything of course, Jikook has changed a lot from 2015-2020 It’s like they used to do a lot of things but back then they were very sneaky when they used to do things like when Jimin was playing footsies under the table in Hawaii , him being jungkooks room in the morning while he was taking a shower , them holding hands while suga body was hiding it , do you think they act different on camera now From before

Jikook act different on cameras? Oh god, I hope you don't mean to say Jikook is fanservice now cos...

I've heard this a lot in my Jikook lifetime and after Taekook's conversation in the Soop that narrative shot back to prominence. The behind the scenes of them at the photoshoot certainly hasn't helped things. Lol

Lord knows it created a schism between Jikookers as to what that moment was and what it meant in the grand scheme of things.

I know Jikook have personas, I've been saying this from the onset of my blog. I know Jikook are human, I've been preaching this from go. I know they have different personalities, hell my whole schtick about their love language has been around their personalities.

We don't know much about who they are behind the cameras but I'm glad at least people are probing into that and not taking Jikook at face value- that's what alternative shipping is. Reconstructing their 'real life' behind the scenes interactions based on their online interactions and the little clues they leave behind through their digital print- very heavy detective work lol and I'm all about that life.

I don't know them personally but if I were to reconstruct all of their interactions to guess at what goes on behind the scenes, I can tell you as a fact that Tae and JK are the least members who spend time together off cameras. I can tell you that much.

They will be followed closely behind by Tae and Jin, Suga etc. In my opinion. If there are any pairs that spend a lot of time together off cameras, to me, it would be Jimin and JK, followed by Jimin and Suga, Jimin and RM and of course VMin. You just have to pay attention to the things they do and say about eachother.

You only have to take one look at Jikook dancing in sync to the very tip of their hairs to know those two spend a lot of time practicing together off cameras. And when you hear them harmonizing- damn, you just know.

The members have pointed out Jikook's unique way of dancing planned and choreographed dance moves on stage and the look on Hobi's face in that reaction video says he was equally taken aback.

Jikook, out of all the members, have the most chemistry online in their interactions and a certain high levels of intimacy that to me the only way I can make sense of it is If they have carnal knowledge of eachother or have at least encroached on eachother's emotional and personal space in such a way that it blurs the lines of friendship a little bit resulting in synergies between them that is out of this world or both.

Because let's face it, neither of Jikook is peacefully mounting their respective partners without addressing the elephant in the room which is eachother staring at them go at it from the couch.

I have seen Jimin with his friends within and outside BTS to know he acts the same- THE SAME, with everybody skinship wise on and off camera and yet his intimacy with JK stands out the most- I wonder why. Smirk.

We've seen him drop softly into Sungwoo's laps at an award. We all saw it. And that was not 'on camera' and so we can't say he acts differently with JK off camera at least where skinship is concerned. Know what I mean?

And just the fact their rain fight was about Jimin caring too much about JK- we can't say JM doesn't care about JK off cameras either.

When JM tried doing his flirty gat shit with Suga, Suga scolded him saying he is not JK if my memory serves me right. So clearly the gay shit he does with JK is something he does offline too.

I can't say same for JK though because JM have said JK acts different with him on camera- cold on camera but warm off camera. I've mentioned this several times now so I won't get into it.

What I'm trying to say is, Jikook don't Jikook all the time but their interactions aren't exactly off of what we see on camera. Their personalities offline may be different but that doesn't mean their interactions offline are different or wildly different. Their interactions on line aren't so far off from their off line interactions such that we can brand what they do online as fanservice. In my opinion.

And also, something about the way JK reacts when he sees Jimin all over the members tells me he is not used to seeing JM prioritise others over him or have that intimacy with the members off camera. Yes, he does skinship with them and with his friends but I feel he does it the most with JK.

I mean if memories 2019 is anything to go by. Why do I feel I have answered this ask before? Lol.

Have their interactions changed online? Well for one, they aren't horny teenage boys anymore- ok, that's lie. They still got it like it was yesterday. Lol. They've matured a lot is what I mean. They've learned a lot and their fandom has equally grown enormously since those days.

I mean, let's be real, the Jikook ship tag wasn't as hot as it is now so they could get away with a lot of things back then. Now, they are one of the biggest ships not just in BTS or S.K but in world. There isn't much they can get away with. So their bandmates, editors etc. even they themselves check their behavior on camera a lot these days- especially with the jealousy and possessiveness bit. Lol.

Jk has really been trying. Jimin too. They crack sometimes but still you can see them putting in the effort- honestly, good for them. I can't be mad at that. We love positive change.

As for the sneaky behavior...

Chilee, I don't know. They still seem pretty gay, very risque to me. Lol

Jimin playing with Jk's titties in last year's season's greatings, dipping his hands in Jk's pockets- from JK's reaction it didn't seem like JM was reaching for Christ in those pockets. Cough cough.

And JK intentionally pushing his butt into JM's groin region- had my bias looking all kinds of confused. Poor Jimin! The sexual innuendos in that footage... good thing the editors cut that bit off. Good thing. And JM, you did not have to drop your eyes to the Jeon booty. You know you can't keep it straight. Jeon booty makes you weak and you know it. Lmho

Eye fucking eachother this year, blowing illegal kithes during the Dynamite reaction VLive - Tae didn't yell 'let's not look in the camera's because he thought they were about to harmonize for Jesus. Lmho. Dude is tired of their shenanigans- I feel you Tae. I'm done with them too. Gosh!

Jk interrupting Jin's call to ask JM on a date- now that was wild. Asking JM to change his clothes and come back to the live and that little gay panic moment JM had after hearing that. Oh Jimin! Bless his heart, he's weak. Lol

JK really wanted to do a live with JM so bad- I'm glad he got his wish later. And from the looks of it, seems he is still fighting to have another one (ALONE) with JM. Can't wait to see how that works out. For now, I know he is grounded. Lol

The bolder one this season for me has been JK. I think you have to go back towards the end of 2019 until JM's birthday this year and reevaluate their interactions. Jk has been holding it down, piloting the Jikook ship until August this year when JM started getting loud again with his overt flirtations.

No but seriously JK, you will do all of these bold wild moves and still not take a minute or two to wish him a happy birthday on his birthday. Then when we don't ship you with Jimin too you'll stand there looking like your cat got stuck in a tree- quirky for no reason this one. Chilee.

It's the, I love you Jiminah at the end of his call for me. I set that as my ringtone for months! Lol

And JM turning red on the couch during Bon Voyage four- c'mon now, that was something! Hobi was right, JM needed an ice pack- all night. Sksksksksksksksksksksjk

Don't mind me. I can be silly for no reason sometimes. Lol

It's not so much as that Jikook's interactions have changed for me. It's more so that there are a lot that has changed around them and in effect, is impacting their interactions on camera.

For one, as I keep pointing out, they don't have the freedom to do certain things anymore. Like, doing VLives on their own whenever they want like they used to do before. Now their vlives are heavily monitored, and the content they make on the app has been reduced to crafts and Arts- until Jimin's birthday live. You know my theory on that so...

VLive used to be one of the sources of their most authentic interactions. That and award shows, interviews and other contents BigHit has less control over. But all that have ceased due to the Corona Virus pandemic.

BTS's online presence, in the wake of the pandemic is also being heavily monetized. A simple tweet on Twitter from any of them has become very transactional- they have to be careful what they tweet because every tweet now is also a brand promotion for a phone campany.

Soop was equally that- brand promotion for Fila and all the big sponsors that sponsored that production, so bet your sweet ass they aren't going to let any 'controversial' sexual innuendo slip into that- but even that, chilee they tried. Lol. If you know, you know!

I'm waiting to see how they all interact with the VApp in the future, especially JK and Jikook.

And those moments, you pointed out are from Bon Voyage, no? I'm not gonna lie, I am wary of content that comes from BigHit editors. I think I've mentioned this a few times. They aren't stupid, they know what they are doing letting certain moments slip into screen time.

And some of the moments we think are authentic Jikook flirty interactions are just missions given them by the content developers- nobody wants Jikook to be gay more than bang PD and his shady ass editors trust me! Lmho.

Some moments too may be authentic coming from Jikook but that doesn't stop pro gay editornim from using it to his advantage. Chileee. I think I've talked about all of this?

All that being said, I think somethings will never change- like JM caring about JK or JK wanting Jimin. That is a Jikook thing. Yes, JM held JK's hand behind Suga when JK seemed- bored out of his mind. But JK rushed to console JM right after his ment in the recent Online concert. That right there was another Rosebowl moment for me and that would never change until they are no longer a couple.

That right there is also an example of the intimacy I talk so much about. It's that unconscious need to be there for eachother in a way I haven't seen anyone else in the group be that for either of them. They answer eachother's questions even if they don't ask. I don't see Tae traveling across podiums for JK or JK rushing from one end of a stage to another for anyone apart from JM. They really care about eachother and I don't think it's only on camera.

And you are right about their sneaky moments in those instances. sometimes these are moments Jikook breach the forth wall but other times too they are just balderdash. Lol

I think BigHit didn't see this pandemic coming, nobody did. Sometimes I feel they are in way over their heads with it, trying to maintain a steady stream of income inspite of it. But they are going to keep experimenting with content, experimenting with marketing strategies until they find that sweet spot.

I'd be ignorant and a hypocrite if I said all these new developments in no way impacts Jikook and their interactions. Or even their relationship. But one thing I know for sure is Jikook is not fanservice. They are not. And I don't think their affections for eachother has changed. They still got it.

I hope this helps. Stay safe and I purple you.

Signed,

GOLDY

[mprjanedoe]

Statement of Harm & Abuse caused by Steam Powered Giraffe’s former bandmember Michael Philip Reed

I am making this post after reading Steam Powered Giraffe’s recent tweets about Michael and also seeing another tweet circling around from a fan/friend of his as well. This statement is being posted publicly to make the Steam Powered Giraffe fandom and community aware of the breadth of Michael’s harmful actions. Steam Powered Giraffe also tweeted encouraging victims to come forward privately with more information, and because of this I have sent this statement directly to SPG so they are aware of this now as well. 

This post is formed by input from victims, occasionally about each other, and occasionally through observations about themselves directly, that occurred over a span of roughly 10 years, informally through text and private messaging, as well as casual conversation at parties and during socializing. His victims should not be subject to more retraumatizing or identification due to fear of retaliation. Along this vein, I also do not wish to identify myself. Frequently his victims of abuse are non-romantic partners.

Michael and I were friends for a number of years. We became friends when I was 18 and he was 26. During the entirety of our friendship I watched him make friends with young women and notably - minors, as well as pursue relationships with them that blurred the lines of platonic and romantic behavior. I watched him emotionally manipulate multiple young women + minors in their teens he had as friends, often causing animosity between the people he was manipulating, which he then used to his gain whenever confronted on his behavior by scoffing it off as jealousy. Part of the emotional manipulation that contributed to this that I witnessed and was also victim to was a deliberate effort on Michael’s part to be secretive about all of the people in his social group who were in the category of young women and minors, despite all parties involved knowing each other in some way because they knew he was “friends” with them. Michael specifically had no problem chatting about mutual friends who were adults and men - however there was a notably distinct difference when talking about young women/minors. He groomed multiple minors that I knew, engaging in physical affection and romantic/sexual emotional manipulation. In some cases he waited until they legally became an adult to make sexual advances. In others, with victims as young as 15 years old, he did pursue and act upon sexual advances. In case it is not abundantly clear - this is sexual assault and in the context of engaging in sex acts with minors is rape.

Even in the case of victims Michael did not form an ongoing intimate relationship with, Michael was consistently friendly around young women and minors (predominantly met through Steam Powered Giraffe and before and after shows) in inappropriate ways, often openly flirting with them upon meeting them and encouraging them to keep in touch. There were many instances he initiated obtaining direct contact info with fans after meeting them, some he was privy to were minors at the time. I have witnessed this in person, Steam Powered Giraffe has received reports of this, and I have been told this directly by fans and friends of friends who have met him in passing. He regularly held chat rooms with young women and minors and in those chatrooms often made innuendoes and flirty jokes. 

In addition to Michael being manipulative to many young, impressionable people, he was also an irresponsible friend - which in the context of having a social circle filled with young women and minors, was negligent and dangerous. He actively participated in peer pressuring and coaxing his young “friends” into illegal recreational drugs - predominantly psychedelics and alcohol and encouraged friends his age who did those drugs to peer pressure his young companions into these behaviors as well. He not only peer pressured and coaxed his victims into using illegal recreational drugs, but also personally offered them as he had them in his possession. He also would solicit his “friends” to hang out with him at night and drink (most if not all of whom were under 21, so he had to supply the alcohol) and then disappear or offer to let people crash at his place and then rescind his offer last minute. This put his young victims in danger and at risk, especially when under the influence of alcohol. On a number of occasions where I wasn’t directly affected by this, I was one of the people with a car who would pick up our mutual friends left hanging.

As evidenced by another tweet circulating, Michael has also said a number of racist things. He has wallowed in his white guilt openly and unproductively with multiple people of color, seeking comfort and to unburden his conscience. He has frequently made his white guilt a focus and expected emotional labor from POC, and has said some very offensive and distasteful things, like repeatedly saying he wished he was a black man, and that part of that desire was because he felt his music should be sung with a black man’s voice. His wishing to be black is grotesque for a number of reasons: - because he wanted to be absolved of his white guilt without taking any personal action to dismantle white supremacy, and also fetishizing black people as there is no monolithic black voice, black people are all individual and unique and to fixate on an idea of something they may have that he wanted is racist and inappropriate to say the least. He also made comments in front of friends and at parties to a POC he was romantically involved with repeatedly saying this person was white passing enough for him, as he wasn’t normally attracted to women of color. He also boasted to multiple friends that much of his friend group were people of color.

All in all, after years of knowing Michael, seeing his behaviors towards myself and towards others, these very clear statements need to be made. 

1. Michael is a pedophile who has a long history of actively and physically preying on minors and young women. Michael has preyed upon minors and young women, and has coerced minors (under the age of 17) into sexual activity - which is sexual assault and rape. He has calculatedly manipulated young women 5-10 years his junior to be his “friend”, often treating them and implying they were in a relationship, and lying to other people involved, creating an extremely toxic social circle of gaslighted young people being manipulated and abused. He cyclically pulled from this group of individuals one at a time and withheld attention from the others to maintain control and silence of the entire group. This is sexual abuse, in any context. He has used his fame and social capital and his brand of charming and kind dude to make excuses for his behavior and seem like he would never be the type to commit it. When called out on this- he directly lies. Lying about his behavior even when presented with evidence is frequent. 

2. Michael is racist. He has made multiple racist comments to people of color who were close to him over a number of years, he has sought out emotional support for his white guilt without addressing how he should personally fight against racism and white supremacy. He has fetishized people of color and fixated on them. 

Those who have gotten close enough to Michael know that despite his kindhearted exterior, he can be shockingly cold and lash out in very cruel ways unexpectedly. He has done this to every single one of his victims that I’ve known, including myself, and his victims are anticipating the potential that he will retaliate in response to being called out for his actions. Private and informal testimonies from sexual partners and friends of a variety of ages, forms of relationship, and gender indicate severe emotional abuse. 

I would like to acknowledge my role in accountability in this situation for those who may be wondering why I am privy to all of this information but have not spoken out sooner - 18 is not a monolithic age of wizened adulthood - and being that I met Michael when he was nearly 10 years my senior and he pursued friendship with me, I was also taken advantage of for my age and naivety. I was a consistent victim of his emotional manipulation, and felt vaguely uncomfortable for the entirety of knowing and interacting with him, but also personally looked up to him and was charmed by the kindhearted well intentioned image he cultivated both publicly and privately. Upon reading Bunny’s tweets on the matter and reflecting on all that I have been aware of has occurred, it became abundantly clear that it was crucial to make this statement. 

To all who have considered themselves friends and colleagues of Michael’s who are in his age group - do not mislead yourselves that there were no signs of Michael’s behavior. This should’ve been dealt with much swifter than nearly a decade down the line when great irrevocable harm has been dealt to Michael’s victims, and there were many publicly visible signs that Michael was way too close with young people - predominantly young women and minors, even if the deeper grotesque details remained in secrecy. The same things that enticed Michael’s young victims to believe being close to him was safe and exciting, are much of the same signs that should’ve been clear to his peers were deeply inappropriate. Based on Bunny’s tweets regarding Michael getting “too friendly” with young fans, and being caught kissing a minor after a show years ago, it is abundantly clear there was a pattern of harmful predatory behavior that was appropriately investigated enough to stop sooner. I ask that all those who have associated with Michael who were peers of him as adults to reflect on this and take open accountability for their role in enabling his behavior either actively or passively in turning a blind eye and/or not investigating his behavior/personally challenging it.

We are asking that this statement is posted on all of SPG’s public channels for visibility - and that fans spread this information and that Steam Powered Giraffe does everything they can to deplatform and demonetize Michael. We are also asking that there is space for this information to spread and breathe and that things do not immediately or quickly return back to status quo within the Steam Powered Giraffe fandom. People have been seriously impacted by this and the trajectory of the lives of many youths has been altered permanently. Considering Steam Powered Giraffe’s success and fame was integral to giving Michael influence over his victims and the opportunity to meet them in the first place, it is only appropriate that there is a significant period of pause - in respect of the victims, and for those finding out about Michael’s actions to process this information.

[livia-dovehallow]

shooting stars - gabriel lightwood & cecily herondale

A Gabrily Valentine’s Day! Set in a Modern AU. Read on AO3

Cecily had forced herself to remain cool and collected. 

She shouldn’t be surprised that Gabriel, whom she’d been dating for a few months now, had asked her to join him at the football team’s starlight picnic on Valentine’s Day. There was to be a meteor shower that night; a very unique and romantic night for valentine’s indeed. She may or may not have totally enjoyed arriving to campus the week before to find Gabriel waiting by her first class with a small bouquet of flowers and her morning coffee and asked her to be his valentine. And she may or may not have smiled like an idiot for the rest of the day.

But she most definitely found herself now struggling to keep her racing heart under control. She’d never had a valentine before. Will had always scared off the admirers she had when they were children, much to her annoyance. It was only when she finally became an adult, and joined him at university, that she made it a point to blatantly ignore his protests whenever she went on a date. Not that any of those dates mattered until Gabriel Lightwood came along.

“You don’t have to go, you know,” said Will across from her at the dining room table. She sighed inwardly. If only she hadn’t been forced to live with her brother at university. Her life would be so much simpler. “You can watch the shower with us instead. Much more enjoyable.”

Cecily gave her brother an annoyed look. “Why would I voluntarily subject myself to hanging out with the three of you on Valentine’s Day when I have a perfectly good boyfriend who has asked me to spend it with him?”

Will grumbled over his dinner. “I wouldn’t describe him as ‘perfectly good’—“

“Will,” Tessa sighed, holding her head as if his voice had given her a massive headache. Cecily was sure it had. “Leave her alone. Gabriel is a perfectly nice boy who is taking her to a school event. I hardly think this is grounds for you to be ridiculous.”

“Everything is grounds for me to be ridiculous,” countered Will. 

“Save yourself,” added Jem, looking at Cecily. “Get out while you can.”

There was a knock on the door. Cecily shot out of her seat and grabbed her bag. “I will do just that, Jem,” she said and gave a cheeky grin to her brother, who squinted his eyes at her over his fork. “Don’t wait up for me!” .

For the thousandth time that night, Gabriel made sure his hair was neat, there nothing in his teeth, and his clothes were acceptable. 

He’d never had a valentine before, but he was excited for Cecily to be his. He was excited that she was his girlfriend at all. He was sure he had destroyed all his chances with his poorly developed flirting ability.

He blamed Gideon.

The door opened and Cecily stood in the light of the doorway. Gabriel’s breath went out of him. She was always incredibly beautiful, but it was obvious she had spent extra time on her look that evening. She smiled brightly at him. “Shall we go?”

Gabriel blinked himself back into the mortal plane. “We shall,” he answered, returning her smile. He held out his arm to her, like a proper gentleman. “You look particularly beautiful today,” he said. He had absolutely no idea where it came from.

Cecily closed the door behind her, effectively cutting off her brother in mid shout. Something about having her home early. “Do I not look particularly beautiful everyday?” she asked, a tease in her voice. 

“I should just never speak again, shouldn’t I?”

“I rather enjoy it.” .

The field was spotted with blankets and couples, flowers and chocolates, and quite a few bottles of cheap champagne. Gabriel had ordered Cecily’s favorite dish from the best restaurant in town and carefully tucked it away in the picnic basket Sophie lent him. He swore that his soon-to-be sister-in-law was much more help in the relationship department than his brother was. 

He’d also gotten her a box of her favorite chocolates from a small shop in town, owned by the Branwells, who’d always smiled knowingly at him since the first time Cecily dragged him in, gushing about the treats. He’d become a regular patron after that. 

Gabriel lifted everything out of the picnic basket and glanced up to find Cecily holding out a box wrapped neatly with a perfectly tied bow. He blinked at her several times until she laughed. “Well, are you going to open it or stare at me until my arms get tired?”

“You got me something?” he asked in awe. Cecily only laughed again.

“Of course I did. I am not a freeloading girlfriend, you know.”

Gabriel smiled brightly and took the box from her, eagerly opening it as if he was a child at Christmas. He froze once he realized what it was. “Cecily, you didn’t.”

She grinned. “Oh yes, I did.”

Gabriel lifted the brand new cleats out of the box, perfectly sized and exactly the ones he’d had his eye on for weeks. He’d never even mentioned to Cecily that he’d wanted to get a new pair, let alone this exact one. He gaped at her, his eyes flickering between her and the shoes. “How—“

“I am a fantastic girlfriend,” she stated, her eyes shining. “That is how.”

“Fantastic is an understatement!” He threw the box aside and immediately kicked his sneakers off to try on the cleats. He could hear Cecily laughing beside him as he hurried to tie the laces. “This is the best gift I’ve ever gotten.”

Cecily playfully shoved his arm. “Are you saying you didn’t like my Christmas present?”

Gabriel turned to her with a shy smile. “I was too nervous to tell you that I don’t like seafood.”

“Gabriel!” Cecily gasped. “Then why did you eat that whole plate?”

“Because you bought it for me.”

Cecily dropped her shoulders and smiled at him. “You’re sweet.”

Heat filled Gabriel’s face but the stupid grin on his face remained. “Now I feel silly with what I got you.”

Cecily looked down at the picnic, with their plates and chocolates and flowers neatly arranged. She looked back up at him. “If this is silly, then please, keep being silly.” She leaned forward and kissed his cheek, making the heat in his face grow warmer. “It’s romantic that you remembered my favorites and brought me to a starlight picnic to watch a meteor shower.”

Until he met Cecily, no one had ever called him a romantic before. He quite liked it, actually. And he found that he didn’t care if everyone else knew about it, too.  .

“Look at this!” Will exclaimed, shoving his phone at Tessa and Jem. “I don’t want to see this!”

Tessa rolled her eyes. On his screen was his Instagram feed, of which the most recent post was from Cecily, smiling brightly at the camera while Gabriel kissed her forehead, captioned simply with a heart emoji. She thought it was rather sweet.

Jem had another idea. He turned his own phone toward Will, showing Gabriel’s post. It was of Cecily, surrounded by dinner, chocolates, and flowers, the same bright smile on her face as if she had been in mid laugh. It was a rather good picture of Cecily, indeed. Will scowled.

“This—This is why I don’t follow him!”

“’Isn’t she lovely,’” Jem quoted from the caption. Tessa awed.

“That���s so sweet!” She exclaimed. 

Will’s scowl deepened. “I don’t want to see that either.”

“What?” Jem teased. “You don’t think your sister is lovely?”

Will huffed. “Of course she is,” he said. “That doesn’t mean I want to see him saying it. I may vomit.”

.

A dull roar of chatter settled across the football field. Cecily, after happily consuming every last drop of her plate and chocolates, made herself comfortable in Gabriel’s arms. She liked the feeling; his arms were long and well-muscled, engulfing her relatively small body in warmth and comfort. She was a strong, independent lady, but that didn’t mean she wasn’t allowed to enjoy a bit of cuddling.

She thought about how jealous she’d been of Will for the longest time, having not one but two people he could be with. They were kind to her, of course, but it was not the same as having someone like them for herself. She’d always been a romantic. 

It was only an added bonus that being with Gabriel made Will short circuit.

“Do you believe in soulmates?” Cecily asked suddenly after a long but comforting silence.

Gabriel paused. “Do you?”

“Yes.” He lifted her head gently and slid his arm and a pillow underneath it before laying it back down. “Soulmates need not always be romantic. They can be platonic as well. Some people are lucky enough to find both in their lives. But I think the luckiest ones are the ones who find both in the same person.”

She bit her lip. She was definitely being obvious about her thoughts, but she hoped it wasn’t too forward. Gabriel brushed his thumb against her arm, which was reassuring. “I’ve never thought about it that way,” he answered. “Platonic soulmates, I mean. It makes sense, though. What made you believe?”

Cecily smiled gently toward the stars. “My parents. I’ve always believed in soulmates because of them.” A star shot across the sky, growing closer to the impending shower. “I don’t think anyone else on earth could have been better suited for them than each other.”

Gabriel’s chest rose and fell beneath her shoulder, his arm warm around her. “I admire your parents,” he said, vibrating her body with this voice; and not just because she was laying partially on top of him. “I guess I didn’t think I believed in soulmates until I met you.”

Cecily’s breath hitched in her throat. Of course she had wanted him to say that, but she didn’t expect that he would. “You’re only saying that,” she whispered. 

“Am not,” he retorted. She could hear the smile in his voice. Cecily bit her lip again. A nervous habit. “So many things have changed in my life in the past year that have entirely changed my outlook on the world. It wasn’t easy to learn that my father had cheated on my mom before she died and still be open enough to believe in soulmates. But you…” His arm tightened around her. “I met you. And Gideon proposed to Sophie. And I met your parents.”

“Gideon is quite lucky to have Sophie,” said Cecily. “Sophie is a very lovely person.”

“I know,” Gabriel laughed. “That bastard better not screw it up.”

Cecily smiled and moved closer to him, pressing her body as close to him as she could get while they lay on their backs looking up at the sky. Gabriel shifted beneath her to pull her pillow closer. “Are you cold?” he asked her.

“Ella, Will, and I used to lay out in the fields in Wales and watch the stars at night,” Cecily whispered instead of answering him. Gabriel fell silent, but she knew very well he was listening. “We lived so far out in the country that the city lights never blocked out the stars. It was my favorite time; just the three of us.” A tear streaked down Cecily’s cheek involuntarily. “I haven’t watched the stars since she died.”

“Cecy—“

“I am glad to watch them again,” she continued. She felt around the blanket until she found his hand and squeezed it tight. “With you.”

“She must have been an incredible person. You and your family only ever speak highly of her.”

Cecily nodded. “She was definitely much less of a pain in the ass than Will was.” She imagined her brother now, laying on the roof of their apartment building with Tessa and Jem, watching the same stars she was; both of them sharing the same memory of Ella. “No one will ever replace Ella for me, but I must admit it was nice to meet Tessa when Will first brought her home. She was kind to me. She even helped me prank Will the first holiday she was with us and helped me clean my bathroom when my period came early.” Gabriel’s hands engulfed hers and slowly played with her fingers as she spoke, calming her. “She knew that Will and I were close and made an effort to get to know me; I had forgotten what it felt like to have a sister. I am grateful to Tessa.”

“It seems that even Will is capable of making good decisions on occasion,” Gabriel commented, making Cecily laugh. He shifted again beneath her and suddenly Cecily was engulfed in a large blanket. She craned her neck upward to look at Gabriel, who was only smiling and rolling her into the blanket.

“Are you trying to make me into a burrito?” Cecily asked, an eyebrow raised. 

“Of course not,” he answered, bringing his arms about her once more. “Obviously you are a taquito.”

Cecily called him a not-so-romantic name in Welsh, but her heart was happy. She did feel much warmer under the blanket with her head on his shoulder. She felt at peace. “I understand how you feel, though,” he added after a moment. “Granted, Tatiana is younger, but we were never truly close. And I lost my mother so young, I didn’t understand what having genuine affection was like. I thought all fathers were like mine. I only ever had him and Gideon show me how to be. Gideon was not the same person he is now before he studied abroad.”

“He changed,” Cecily whispered, digging her arm out from beneath the blankets to lay her hand over his heart. “As did you. There isn’t anything wrong with that.”

Gabriel looked down at her; his eyes, his green, green eyes making her heart skip a beat. “Spain and Sophie helped Gideon feel comfortable being his actual self. For me, it was Gideon and you.”

“I like this Gabriel,” she whispered, her eyes flickering between his eyes and his lips. “You’re happier. I like that.”

Gabriel inhaled deeply, his eyes never leaving hers. “I love you,” he breathed. 

Cecily’s heart raced, her eyes widening. She’d imagined him saying those words to her in the privacy and comfort of her own mind. She’d known, perhaps all along, that she loved him. He made her feel special, beautiful, and strong. He never once made her feel inferior or small—his jokes about her height excluded. Being with him made the rough seas of her life calm. She was happy. She loved him. 

And he just told her he loved her.

He had begun to grow nervous at her silence, clearing his throat in attempt to clear the tension. Tell him you love him, idiot! Cecily screamed at herself, but her throat had closed, thick with emotion. She did what she needed to do. She pulled his head down to her and kissed him.

There was no hesitation from him in his response. He kissed her back, his hands pressed gently against her back, holding her to him. Cecily hadn’t even noticed she was crying until their kiss began to taste salty and Gabriel pulled away, his forehead still pressed against hers. “Cecy?” he asked, worried. “I’m—“

“I love you,” she said, cutting him off before he could apologize to her for doing nothing wrong. He stared at her. “I love you, too.”

A brilliant smile grew across his face, erasing his anxious expression. He released a long breath and laughed. “Oh, god, I thought I had scared you off. It came out of me, I’m sorry, I wanted to tell you for so long—“

Cecily shook her head. “Do stop apologizing for telling me you love me,” she teased. “I’ll start to believe you regret it.”

Gabriel’s eyes widened, the panic back. “No!” he said quickly. “No, I don’t regret it! Not one bit. I do love you. I love you. A lot, actually.”

She buried her face against his neck and ran her fingers through his ever-tousled hair. “Then don’t let me go,” she whispered. His grip tightened.

“I don’t plan on it,” he said. 

A wave of awes and cheers rose from the crowd around them on the field. The meteor shower had begun, lighting up the sky. Cecily kept her eyes locked with Gabriel’s. He smiled at her. “I do hope this means your sister approves of me.”

Cecily laughed, the pain of missing Ella and the joy that she had Gabriel in her life to share her thoughts. She turned to look at the stars. “You know, I think she just might.”

.

The porch light was bright when Gabriel walked Cecily to the door of her and Will’s apartment. She was draped in his jacket, despite her protests. “You’re smaller. Less mass. You get colder than I do,” had been Gabriel’s response. She was stubborn, but he could be too. Even now he was refusing to take it back. Secretly, Cecily was glad.

“I had fun,” she told him, smiling happily. “This was a very nice Valentine’s Day.”

Gabriel looked relieved. “I had fun, too.” He hesitated then, which told Cecily exactly what he wanted to do.

“Kiss me,” she said, not as a request but a stern demand. Gabriel’s smile morphed into a small laugh.

“Yes, ma’am,” he nodded and dipped low. The moment his lips met hers, the porch light began flickering.

Cecily ignored it but Gabriel pulled back, amused. “I wager we have peeping Toms.”

“More like a single peeping Will,” she muttered. She lifted her hand toward the door and flipped off her brother. “I suppose I should see you off now, before Will comes out here with empty threats.”

Gabriel laughed. “All right,” he said. “I’ll leave when you’re inside.”

“The door is two feet away.”

“It will make me feel better,” he answered assuredly. “Please indulge my masculinity.”

Cecily would never admit it, but her heart fluttered. She knew Gabriel didn’t care much for keeping masculine appearances anymore, but it set butterflies in her stomach to know he wanted to make sure she was truly home before leaving. Her father would like that.

“All right,” she agreed. She pressed her key into the lock and turned it, but paused before opening the door. She glanced over her shoulder at him. “Goodnight,” she said. “Do tell me when you’re home.”

His eyes brightened. “I will,” he said. “Goodnight, Cecy.”

The door swung open and Cecily yelped. She was yanked in the doorway before she could swear. “Take care then!” her brother called before shutting the door. Cecily twisted her arm out of his grip before unleashing a sea of curses and swears at him, a mix of English and Welsh, all angry and annoyed. 

“Can I not have my own life, Will?” she shouted. “You parade Tessa and Jem around here as if they live here but I can’t even wish Gabriel a goodnight on the porch without you ruining it?” She turned to Tessa and Jem, who remained seated at the kitchen table. “No offense.”

“None taken,” they both replied, lifting their mugs to their lips.

She turned back to Will, who looked a bit surprised. “Mam and Dad like Gabriel, and Ella would have, too. What is your problem? Gabriel has tried to make amends with you and treats me well. Better than well, actually. Not once has he ever made me feel uncomfortable or unsafe. Quite the opposite actually. You’re lucky Mam and Dad help us pay rent because otherwise I would have never moved in with you.”

At that, she threw her keys onto the counter and marched to her bedroom. She wouldn’t give him the satisfaction of slamming her door, so instead she left it wide open. 

.

Fifteen minutes later, she received her text from Gabriel assuring her he was home, safe and sound, being interrogated by his brother and Sophie. She smiled at her phone. She thought about telling him about her blow up at Will when a soft knock sounded at the door. She glanced up to see Tessa standing there, holding her mug, smiling gently. “May I come in?”

Cecily nodded, shooting Gabriel a quick I love you before tossing her phone to the side. She hoped she’d wake to a similar message in the morning.

Tessa came and sat beside her on the bed. “I’m sorry about Will,” she started. “We tried to convince him to to go bed earlier but he refused.”

“Thanks for trying,” Cecily grumbled, kicking her blanket with her feet.

Tessa set down her mug and turned to face Cecily. “I am not Will,” she said happily. “And I, for one, would love to hear how the picnic went. Did you enjoy it?”

Cecily turned to her and released the tension in her muscles. Tessa really was like a sister. “I did,” she said, a smile growing. “It was everything I’d hoped it would be.”

Tessa’s eyes widened. “I see that smile,” she said, bouncing. “Tell me, Cecily, or I swear I will force it out of you!”

“Shh!” Cecily hissed, glancing at the doorway. “The last thing I need or want is my brother barging in here demanding to know as well.”

Tessa nodded, but her smile and eyes were eager. “Tell me.”

Cecily bit her lip, supressing an idiot smile. “He told me he loves me.”

Tessa grabbed a pillow and began smacking Cecily with it, whispering-screaming in excitement. “Cecy!” Whack. “I’m so—“ Whack. “—happy for you!”

“Wait,” Cecily said, and Tessa paused, holding the pillow in mid-whack. “There’s more. I told him I love him, too.”

WHACK.

.

Gabriel waltzed through the front door feeling on top of the world. The moment the door shut, Gideon and Sophie’s heads popped up over the sofa. “How did it go?” Sophie asked eagerly.

“Did you tell her?” Gideon added.

Gabriel grinned. “Yes, I told her. And she said it back.”

Sophie screamed and jumped over the couch, crushing Gabriel in a hug. “Look at you! A new man in love!”

Gideon smiled at him, amused. “Proud of you,” he said. “Didn’t think you had the guts to actually do it.”

“Thank you for your faith in me, brother,” Gabriel answered. “At least Sophie believed in me.”

Sophie let go of him and nodded, smiling happily at him. She’d always been quite supportive of him ever since he apologized to her for being an ass for so long. “Well, I knew that you would tell her intentionally or not. The two of you are much alike.”

Gabriel and Gideon both protested this statement. Then, Gabriel remembered. “Shit,” he said under his breath, digging his phone out. “I promised her I’d tell her when I got home.”

Gideon pointed at him accusingly. “You’re whipped!”

“And you’re engaged,” Gabriel retorted, retreating to his bedroom, his eyes glued to the screen, typing his message to Cecily.

Ding.

I love you, she replied. 

Gabriel immediately updated his phone screen to the new photo of her he’d taken that night and stared at it before writing out his response.

Gideon told me I’m whipped. He isn’t wrong. Goodnight, Cecy. I love you.

I take requests! Shoot me a message and I’ll be happy to indulge.

@tsccreatorsnet || Let me know if you’d like to be tagged in future fic posts.

[hueshiftersofficial]

. Name: Azure Hamasaki . Nickname: Zuzu(by Coral) . Age: 22 . Gender: androgynous male . Sexuality: omnisexual . Species: siren . Color Motif: teal

Azure has quite a strong presence in Chromia, thought not one with a necessarily 'good' reputation. With his abilities as a siren, he has a natural charisma about him that brings people in, this combining with his smooth-talking skills and he can get almost anybody to do what he wants. Quite flirtatious as well, he has no problem flirting with whoever he finds interesting and is a bit of a 'player' in the sense that he has had many casual flings without the want for commitment. He had a bit of a rough childhood growing up, many of the boys in his area picking on him for his effeminate appearance and weak stature, causing him to get into many fights and trouble that only perpetuated him being seen as an 'outcast; by his peers. It wasn't until he met a girl named Coral Rogue in detention one day when they were kids did he feel like he had someone he truly connected with, and as the years went on they continued staying by each other's side. While they have gone their separate ways a bit in following their own paths in life, they are still the closest of friends and regularly hangout together, whether causing some good mischief or more peacefully. Over the years Azure learned to accept his appearance and have fun with his looks, like with growing his hair much longer, wearing a little makeup from time-to-time, and wearing whatever he wants as he could care less about gender roles. With him working on toning up his body and creating his unique look, he has captured the interest of many with his looks and has landed himself some modeling and entertainment gigs, even having a lot of followers on social media too. While it may seem like he's doing pretty good for himself and can get whatever he wants, part of him can't help but feel like he is 'missing' something in his life, with his recent brand of getting into various trouble being a result of him trying to figure out what that is.

[inevitably-johnlocked]

do you have any fics of john flirting with sherlock over text? maybe sherlock being utterly clueless? thank you & and much luv ❤️

Hi Nonny!!!

Ahhhhhhhhhh AGES ago, I did an Epistolary / Texting / Letters fic rec list, back before I had A System™, so it’s a bit messy but it is there :) I don’t have a lot of new ones to add to it, BUT I decided I would pull all the Texting fics from that list since I now have neater organization with tags and Chapters, and then just add my NEW fics onto that one, how about that? Would that be okay? It wouldn’t be specifically just flirting, but I think that the list is long overdue anyway!! Hope you like something on this one, and I’ll TRY to tag the flirting fics WITH flirting so that you can pick them out :) 

And as always, add your own fics, Lovelies!! <3

TEXTING AND SEXTING (JULY 2020)

See also:

Epistolary / Texting / Letters (My List, 2017)

First Meeting Via Internet / Phone / Letters (Mine)

Phone Sex & Texting (Alexx’s List)

Wrong Number Texting (Alexx’s List)

They Met Online or Texting (Alexx’s List)

Message Not Sent by Queerasil (K, 762 w., 1 Ch. || Angst, One-Sided Texting, Pining Sherlock) - Sherlock texts John after the fall and during the hiatus. The messages are sent, but never received. Sequel to WORDLOCKED, TSTM, and Wait, How Do You Play This Game Again?

Texts and Tea by JillianWatson1058 (K, 959 w., 1 Ch. || Friendship, Texting, Humour, Fluff, POV John, Cranky John) – A John who is woken up at 2:30 in the morning is not a happy John. Sherlock, frankly, doesn’t care. He just wants his tea.

Untouchable by greengrapegaze (T, 1,368 w., 1 Ch. || Pre-S3, UST/URT, Oblivious John, Lonely Sherlock, Angst with Happy Ending, Emotional Hurt / Comfort, Emotional Sherlock, POV Sherlock, Pining Sherlock) – “He never would. Petty, childish, immature-bitter. Jealous. She had all that he wanted. All he could never have.” Part 1 of Steps to a Bittersweet Symphony

Yorkshire Gold by Tammany Tiger (K, 1,467 w., 1 Ch. || Friendship, Hurt/Comfort, Mild Angst, Holmes Brothers, Open Ending, Grief, Implied Bondlock) – Mycroft may not mourn Sherlock's death-but even if he knows his brother lives, he's not without his own grief. It ain't easy being The British Government. But at least he's got good help. Set between the Fall and the Return.

Text Me When It's Over by immaculately-flawed  (K+, 1,937 w., 1 Ch. || Friendship, Humour, Post-TRF, Texting, Sort-Of Pining Sherlock) – After the fall Sherlock starts writing texts to John. Of course, he never sends them... Until he does by accident. Post Reichenbach fic but not angsty.

Denial Isn’t Just a River in Egypt by satanatemycat (T, 2,107 w., 1 Ch. || Humour, Friendship, Texting, Bored/Cranky Sherlock) – In which John makes a bet with a co-worker. If he wins, she shuts up about him and Sherlock being a couple. If he loses… well, that doesn’t matter, because he won’t lose. Because he and Sherlock ARE NOT a couple. Right?

The Art Of Communication by StillWaters1 (T, 2,679 w., 1 Ch. || Friendship, H/C) – Lestrade was used to getting odd, non sequitur texts from Sherlock. But when "John went out for milk" was followed by a terse "two hours ago," Lestrade immediately understood three things: John was missing, Sherlock was quietly panicking, and this could all end very, very badly.

Unquantifiable by 221b_hound (M, 2,799 w. 1 Ch. || Est. Rel., Grumpy John, Tooth-Rotting Fluff, Pet Names, Texting, Sweet Sherlock, Princess Bride References) – John remains a terrible and foul-tempered patient, but he does try to make up for it with pet names and text message silliness. In the meantime, Sally Donovan visits Baker Street for a hint about the Milverton case, and has to deal with a Sherlock Holmes who can't find words big enough to thank her for saving John's life at the warehouse. For afters, there's a viewing of The Princess Bride. Part 33 of the Unkissed series

The Sweetest Taste In The World by crossroads (G, 3,121 w., 1 Ch. || First Kiss, Jealous Sherlock, Fluff, Pining, Friends to Lovers) – The sweetest taste in the world is rarely ever the easiest to come by.

Entanglement by orphan_account (G, 3,218 w., 1 Ch. || Confessions, Physics, Metaphors, Texting, Pining, Christmas, Mind Palace, Sick Fic, Fluff, Humour, Praise Kink) - On Christmas Eve, snow covers London, John visits Harry, and Sherlock and Mrs. Hudson untangle some knots.

Come home. by hudders-and-hiddles (huddersandhiddles) (E, 3,763 w., 1 Ch. || Texting / Sexting, Lonely Sherlock, Nude Photos, Pining, Fluff & Smut) – When John leaves for a medical conference, Sherlock tries to entice him back home.

Happy anniversary by Salambo06 (E, 3,772 w., 1 Ch. || Est. Rel., Vulnerable Sherlock, Wedding Anniversary, Anal, Texting, Lingerie) – John inhaled deeply, feeling his cock pulse under the silk gown, and he let his eyes travel on the lean body in front of him. Sherlock was kneeling on the bed, their bed, and the picture had been taken so John could perfectly see his bare chest and pelvis. But what mattered most, what made John harden rather quickly, was the pair of panties Sherlock was wearing in the picture. Black, string over each hip and laces that outlined Sherlock’s erect cock barely hidden under the soft underwear.

Lingerie by Sexxica (E, 4,135 w., 1 Ch. || Valentine’s Day, Lingerie / Women’s Underwear, Mildly Public Masturbation, Picture Texting / Sexting, Bottomlock, Body Worship, Anal Sex / Fingering, Rimming, Orgasm Delay / Denial, Est. Rel.) – It's Valentines Day and Sherlock is taking John to Angelo's for dinner. Sherlock also happens to be wearing a garter belt, stockings and a rather small pair of women's underwear under his clothes. There's no dessert at Angelo's because John needs to get Sherlock home just as quickly as he can before they both lose their minds entirely.

If He Knows by shamelessmash (M, 4,513 w., 1 Ch. || TSo3 Fic, Pining Sherlock, Bed Sharing, Angst, First Person Sherlock POV, Texting, Internal Monologue, Blanket Forts) – I imagine mornings: John handing me a cup of tea, hair sticking out at odd angles. How he would bend down to kiss me, smiling fondly as he pulls away. The way his skin crinkles at the corner of his eyes, the way his skin looks in the morning light. The soft sigh as he sits in his chair with the morning paper, the way his toes curl in the carpet, the way he rolls his shoulders before sinking deeper into his seat. I watch him, how he is when he is content, as it should be. As he deserves. Happy. With me.

Tease You Till You Come by phoenix089 (E, 6,090 w., 1 Ch. || First Time, Clueless Sherlock, Sexting/Texting) – Initially, Sherlock was rather put out by John's lack of presence on the case. But then he starts to receive pictures, several of them, of an unexpected nature. The case is forgotten rather quickly after that.

What Did I Do Wrong? by Starlight05 (T, 7,880 w., 5 Ch. || Hurt Comfort, Angst, John Whump, Hospitalization, Worried Sherlock, Emotional Turmoil, Nightmares, Sherlock Being Dumb) - After John almost dies on a case, Sherlock disappears. So John is left to figure out what he can do to get his best friend back. Meanwhile Sherlock, guilt-ridden and willingly alone, is doing everything he can to stay away.

Bread and Wine and Curry Once a Week by cwb (E, 8,737 w., 1 Ch. || Fluff, Friends to Lovers, Stroppy Sherlock, Love Letters, POV John) – Sherlock asks John for relationship advice. Little does he know that it’s him that Sherlock is in love with.

A Building of Bridges by Unique (K, 12,325 w., 3 Ch. || Drama, Alternate First Meeting, John’s PTSD / Flashbacks, Mute John, Dialogue-Heavy, Caring Sherlock, Friendship) – No one would ever send Sherlock in to diffuse a stand-off; but on one unlikely day, that's exactly what happened. "Congratulations, Lestrade," he called out sarcastically. "You're traumatizing a war veteran."

A Brand of Gold by aquabelacqua (M, 12,757 w., 1 Ch. || Mutual Pining, POV John, Phone Sex, Texting, Masturbation, Long Distance, Drunk Texting) – What am I doing? he wondered. The answer came back at once: Flirting. He let the vital, missing piece snap into place as surely and as cleanly as if it had always been there. He was flirting with Sherlock Holmes.

Traitor's Gate by roane (E, 17,714 w., 6 Ch. || Post-TRF, Case Fic, Mystery, Bets and Wagers, Undercover for a Case, BAMF John, Scientist Sherlock, Teasing, Established Relationship, Military Base, Sexting/Texting, Military/Uniform Kink, Frottage, Dirty Sex, Anal, Bottomlock) – John and Sherlock go undercover at a top secret government lab to find out who is selling research. John is back in uniform and Sherlock is back in a laboratory, but they have to pose as strangers. Sherlock thinks he'll have an easy time of it, but John has his doubts. It's up to them to find out who is responsible for putting a dangerous weapon in the wrong hands, and try to keep their hands off each other at the same time.

The Real Meaning of Idioms by feverishsea (T, 21,691 w., 13 Ch. || PODFIC AVAILABLE || Texting, Humour, Post-TRF, Awkward Romance, Idiots in Love) - After two weeks away, John finally texts Sherlock. He doesn’t expect Sherlock to respond. He doesn’t expect Sherlock to keep texting him. And he really doesn’t expect things to spiral out of control so rapidly.

A Study In Auto-Signatures, Sniper Dolphins, and Sex Holidays by cwb (E, 32,689 w., 8 Ch. || Case Fic, Post S3, Evil Mary, Dev. Rel., Beach Holidays, Confused Sherlock, Friends to Lovers, Honeymoon, Epistolary, Bottomlock, First Kiss / Time, Fluff, Secret Agents, BAMF!John) – John and Mary go on their sex holiday, and Sherlock is grumpy and pining about it. Part 1 of HOT DOLPHIN SEX

A Week is Just Seven Days Isn't It? by scifigrl47 (T, 39,906 w., 4 Ch. || Humour, Friendship/Bromance, Stroppy/Bored Sherlock, Undercover/Army John, Texting, Pining-ish Sherlock, John Whump) – When John heads overseas for a week, Sherlock's forced to fend for himself. It goes about as well as anyone could have anticipated. Which is to say, very, very poorly. Don't worry, things'll be fine in just seven days.

Definitions by siennna (T, 101,528 w., 12 of ? Ch. || Dev. Rel., Pining, Fluff and Romance, First Kiss, Love Confessions, Fluff, Cuddles) – Sherlock’s journey in defining his flat mate and stumbling through the muddled world of emotion. {{This feels complete; the chapter count is listed as ? but I feel like it is done}}

[michaeloneillwords-music]

Oasis: Knobworth. Cocaine, Caricature and ‘The Culture Industry’s’ wet dream.

This week sees the release of the documentary film ‘Oasis Knobworth 1996’ which marks 25 years since the Manchester rock band played to over a quarter of a million disciples in a field in Hertfordshire across two nights. Obviously brand Oasis couldn’t miss the opportunity to celebrate its own greatness, in what is now being understood and accepted as some sort of era defining moment in pop cultural history. As a native of Manchester, who whether he likes it or not is psychically entrenched in the cities musical and cultural legacy and who was 15 years old when this event took place, I equally cannot miss the opportunity to challenge this retro fetish overstatement and present my own subjective understanding and experience of watching these caricatures of sex, drugs and rock roll as they rose to prominence. Let's face it ‘the culture industry’ has always needed fodder to sell to a teenage audience who in coming of age are flirting with the mask of social identity which is heavily informed by pop culture, and from late 1995 onwards Oasis, led by the brothers Gallagher were that fodder. The juggernaut of utter nonsense that they were peddling really began with the release of their sophomore effort (What’s the story) Morning Glory on the 2nd of October 1995, which to this day has gone on to sell in excess of 22 million copies worldwide, figures that depressingly highlight the state we are in as a species. Upon hearing the album as a 14 year engrossed in pop music culture I immediately disliked it. Gone were the walls of thick guitars, punkish irreverence and embellishments of baggy Northern Psychedelia that marked the best moments of their debut album, instead the listener was subjected to an overly clean, acoustic, commercial sounding record that was lyrically lazy, pedestrian and trite, to me it was and always will be an artistic car crash. It sounded immediately like a band uninterested in challenging itself or its audience, who instead were solely concerned with mass appeal, shifting units and making money. Whilst it should always be noted that the Gallagher brothers made no attempt to hide their aspirations for commercial success, material wealth and brand ubiquity, I simply find such sole motivations a turn off, that, more often than not result in utter dross, the kind that defines Oasis’ discography. Indeed, any ascent to the summit of pop culture will rarely be the sole result of an absolute desire for honest and uncompromising artistic expression, to just ‘make something’ regardless of economic reward or consideration for the consequences of what that expression communicates, represents or signifies. Indeed, such an approach will often come into direct conflict with the bottom line of the music industry, which is solely concerned with profit, monopolistic market control, the dissemination of ideology and projection of archetypes. And so it is that far from the ‘deviant bad boys of pop’ peddled by the culture industry press from 1995 onward, Oasis were actually a very obedient market vehicle for profit, who promoted nihilistic hedonism, idolatry, narcissism, misplaced masculinity, benign sexism, cocaine, lager and a depressing caricature of working class identity, and last but not least a brand of Beatles infused substance devoid pub rock. The ‘culture industry’ had been peddling this sort of shit from the mid 60’s in pop music and long before in general pop culture and as a result dear reader it was obviously very marketable once again to the mid-nineties teenage generation and to many subsequent generations for that matter. The game doesn't change. Oasis were and remain a wet dream of ‘the culture industry’, all too happy to short change a generation of youth culture with their destructive notions of cool, short sighted egocentric one dimensional outlook, and celebration of pack animal conformity under a banner of ‘rock and roll’ which signals ‘defiance’ ‘deviance’ and ‘hope’ but when unpacked and interrogated actually reveals a concession and obedience to the drudgery, depression and anomie of a top down controlled market culture by both the band and its disciples. They were without doubt a grey cloud of hard materialist understanding and sense pleasure that would leave Saint Francis of Assisi empty inside and reaching for a razor blade. I think it was the idolatry, narcissism and the reductionist mask of masculinity (that were all no doubt in the air at Knobworth, I couldn’t actually say as I wasn’t there, I had seen them on 26/11/1995 at the Manchester Nynex, and although I certainly do have deep seated masochistic tendencies everybody has a limit, and once was enough) that the band and its followers displayed that really didn’t sit well with me when the cultural juggernaut of Oasis and Britpop took off. These traits were for the most part distilled, embodied, displayed and performed by the band's frontman Liam Gallagher, a man whose answer to all of life’s existential conundrums is a pint of Carling. To me, Liam always carried a look of someone who had been asked a question they didn’t understand and was just trying to front it out with a gormless stare in an attempt to display some presence of depth and mystique to his onlooking disciples and celebrity obsessed media. When he did speak his articulations rarely got beyond how he was ‘mad for it’, how he was the ‘best frontman’ in the ‘best band’ and when his adopted mask of self-confidence was ever threatened would often bark ‘fook off’ in deflection and defence. Gallagher became the ‘Archetype’ that the modern-day British working class (and wannabe working class) alpha male identity is built on. Replete with feather cut, stone island jacket, adidas originals and cheap cocaine, ready to perform the identity prison they have adopted until the cows come home. I occasionally ponder as to whether the clinging too and performance of such a symbolically material identity merely masks an innate fear, and serves to deny the unpacking and unmasking of the ‘authentic self’, and how that process would more than likely contradict the projected ‘tower of strength’ that is indefinitely projected and protected by this deflective mask. I mean I thought we were an expression of consciousness with the innate capacity for creativity, who are looking to integrate the inner self into the ‘persona’ so as to not be imprisoned and tormented by the demands of the social mask, the gulf between the two and its insistence for the inauthentic? Who knows, and ultimately who really cares in this day and age. In terms of the idolatry, the fans deification of Liam and his brother Noel, alongside their deification of John Lennon, the two Paul McCartney's, Bozo and Poor Weller also really pissed me off when I was 15 and still doesn’t sit right with me today. It's the rock n roll hierarchy-musical establishment-gotta pay your dues-know the classics-they’re a fucking genius claptrap that really gets me goat. I mean fuck off, they've just made a record aided and abetted by an industry who want to flog them to death for moolah, and i’m expected to sit here and believe they're some sort of god like genius that captured the feelings of a mass populace, nah mate, it was capital backed exceptional marketing and mass gullibility. Limmy would capture working class culture in a 20 second video clip shot on his phone for nothing entitled “She’s turned the weans against us” (https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=I5VaPQflLq0&ab_channel=Limmy) in a far more profound and meaningful way 15 years after Knobworth. Furthermore, music solely informed and inspired by music and music history makes me want piss on my own face. That whole disciple of rock n roll dogmatic cultish crap, we want to be like our hero's motivation is so very depressing. I mean you’re having a unique subjective sensory experience, migrating through your own orbit of experience, and then when you engage with your creative faculties as a singular human being you adopt wholesale the principles and goals of those who’ve gone before you, or equally when simply embodying your identity it’s one built on the fetishization of a vapid celebrity archetype? Really? Really though? You’re not gonna take the opportunity to figure yourself out and project the uniqueness of your experience, reject or accept the external organising principles or merely just ‘mix the fucker up’? Hey who am I to pose such questions I guess, and in the immortal words of Oasis “You have to be yourself, you can’t be no one else”. Ha. I do think that line should now be updated to “you have to be a caricature of yourself because you cannot be anything else” though. Ooooh. Anyway, I shouldn’t really be blaming the current mask of one dimensional male social identity or celebrity deification on Oasis, they’re merely a cog in a machine that reproduces this reproduction over and over. However, that doesn’t detract from the fact that they are Manchester's greatest cultural own goal (shame really cause after the opening 5 or 10 minutes I was thinking we've got a team here), who made and continue to make to this day nonsensical grey groove-less drudgery a viable commodity with posthumous releases and as solo artists. Now that may be easy for me to say, as I was without doubt somewhat spoiled by exposure to the cities compelling history of DIY music from a young age, from the shadowy existential concrete corridors of Joy Division to the sharp witted marriage of high/low brow culture and realism/surrealism presented by The Fall, all the way through to the theological and philosophical street politics of The Stone Roses. Come 1995/96 I maybe expected more, but therein was a lesson for me, never expect, and indeed, always take the art and never the artist, and never ever deify. Musically Oasis were breathtakingly boring, real stodgy laboured stuff, and lyrically, to be brutally honest they were cringeworthy and embarrassing. However, to give them their due they did have conviction, but I’m sure that fellow Northerner Harold Shipman also had conviction in his creative output, but ultimately that doesn’t mean it was any good now does it? To me Oasis sounded like they were sent from the back of a battered cement mixer, or the lounge of the Robin Hood, or from the bottom of an overflowing ashtray on a coffee table in a council flat where shit cocaine is being relentlessly sniffed and Sky Sports News plays indefinitely. Symbolically they may be best defined as a scrunched up and discarded losing betting slip on the floor of a bookmaker’s that is heavy with the air of momentary hope, desperation, and inevitable loss. No thanks. P.S Look, all subjective criticism aside, Oasis spoke to millions and for that I congratulate them, they just never really spoke to me. Initially Liam and Noel were a breath of fresh air with their straight up lads with guitars attitude, riding their obvious desire with endlessly projected self- belief. However, to me there was just nothing after that initial Jab of intent present on Definitely Maybe and in interviews circa 94/95, there was no hook, combination or knock-out punch. Couple that with a general lack of grace, rhythm and finesse in the ring and to me as a spectacle it became boring very quickly, and as the rounds wore on that predictable Jab looked tired and stale, and the self-belief turned to coke fuelled narcissism. The ‘flock identity’ that materialised in the slipstream of their ascent and especially the attitude mimicry that was present then and remains today in the ‘Oasis Fan’ to be truthful is touch tragic. Furthermore, I've always held a deep-seated scepticism of the dynamics and motivations of 'the crowd' at the point of critical mass, especially when corporate power is deeply involved and invested in the relationship between the art and the audience. D'you know what I mean?

[nameless-sovereign]

clowns in the gutter

i did this while the songs were on shuffle which wasn’t my best idea so the quality of a big all over the place, but... i tried and that important 😅 but i’ve been told i listen to music poorly and have a bad method of playlist making which is ‘this singular line’ or ‘i’m not sure what is said but The Vibe™’ so i felt i should add the reasoning behind the songs

this is my playlist for @rachie-neyiea ravenous on ao3 [ https://archiveofourown.org/series/1714627 ]

https://open.spotify.com/playlist/0mbuQyTM0ILmUmrfjRwFvn?si=tr4S8pa2RQGgHGHBNfkNhA

horror of our love - i’m not going to go into this one since i kinda already talked to you about it

campus - “it must be lonely knowing what you knowing” - because the twins may not know a lot about themselves, but a part of simply existing is being in shock of how it changes and how time is always moving, and with how time works for them i imagine the disconnect between society and themselves is so astounding that it gives them an unique perspective of humankind, yes they’ve been cut off, but they do need to integrate, to some extent, to pick their victims, so i decided at least

oleander - “if you leave me, rest assured it will kill me” [ also the fact that oleanders are these beautiful plants that are also pretty deadly i think fits, because thy can make themselves appear unsuspecting [ if they want to appear and they’re pretty, if they’re presenting that way ] - i feel like this is very much the twins towards bruce because he had become such a big part of themselves, they literally gave him a part of them now, and while he may not have liked it i think it was a big show of dedication. a way of saying they don’t mind hurting for him they’ll even go as far as to do it themselves.

hollow - “i’m ill with all that i know, cause it show what little i know” - this bruce because he is a very curious person by nature, he naturally seeks to find answer for him problems, and these problems don’t have answers, but he knows so much at the same time that it probably drives him mad being able to taste the knowledge yeah not devour it

volatile times - “look at me, what have i become i am lost i was once a gentleman” - i think this is bruce reflecting on the twins, and their effect on his life, how he had the potential to be a normal kid with the silver spoon, how he had a taste of that once upon a time but he became batman, and while he knows it wasn’t only because of the twins, he is pretty sure if they didn’t exist, if he wasn’t made to balance them out, then he wouldn’t be batman. he wouldn’t be some rich boy playing dress up and punching people in the middle of the night, he would host party, and laughing as he sipped champagne

under my skin - there’s no lyric in here that screams it’s just the general idea, kinda like unwanted animal, but it’s like “i can fit two people under my skin” and that just reminds me of this line [ i’m not sure if it was in one of your stories or if i read it somewhere else and it reminded me of it, so i apologize ] it was saying how one of the twins want to break open bruce’s ribcage to and be absorbed into him and taunt him from the inside and how they’ll never be parted then, and i just vibe with the twins being like that and i don’t know who is even speaking because i think there’s a merge ce of all of them mirroring one another, well bruce mirroring the twins and vise versa because the twins are still quite guarded but they are opening up quite a bit as the story progresses.

like lovers do - “Getting you off is my new favourite hobby, lipstick on your neck brands like a tattoo” and “I see you watching me, eyes on your target” this song reminds me a lot of when the twins found party boy bruce, [ the next two are also going to be written shittily ]

animal impulses - this one is just the overall vibe of the song v. andy particular lyrics, the song being about repressing and being controlled by your instincts basically and i think that vibes with this

baby you're a haunted house - “i’ll be the only one who likes the things you do, i’ll be the ghost inside your head when we are through” this reminds me a lot of the twins to each other, because they are alone, but their alone together and even if that doesn’t always feel like enough to be without the other would be unbearable and the next lines are “Sometimes you scare me, but I come around to you, I'll say hello hello hello hello, And I'll find a way to scare you too” which i believe to represent bruce to them because he’s had such unique reactions to them, and by he way he treats them is so… gentle and i don’t believe them to have ever been exposed to that previously and so Bruce hold a price of their heart in such a terrifying way.

unwanted animal - there’s so much in this song that i can’t pinpoint any exact lyrics that i associate with anything in particular [ the one that hooked me was “you touch my skin peels off like paint” but there a wild desperateness to the singing that i like fits them well. the comparison to animals i like for the twins, because they are savage and ruled mainly by their id they want something they take it, and i’m not looking at the lyrics right now, and i’m so bad at actually /listening/ to songs, but the whole song it feel like the singers are both fighting and working together and it’s just this dynamic that i think fits my interpretation of your series i guess heheh

this is love - there’s a lot of small lines that i think reflect the story well, “you done nothing to get out of the pattern of pain washed away by the rain” [ this reminds me of the underground tunnels being at risk of flooding and Bruce being like welp, gotta try ] “but i just love to pick a fight” [ the twins finding fighting as a valid means of flirting ] “once you chase me down the hole” [ the twins as bruce comes following after the twins ]

foreigners god - “she feels no safety in my arms” stanza vv bruce being on edge around the twins this is the twins because i think they all know none of them could truly intentionally maim one another, they’ll play at fighting, but that doesn’t mean they aren’t ready to fight for each other. each knows logically that they are safe, that past experience dictates that trust in personal safety has been earned, yet it's impossible to relax around one another yet, after so long of being on edge it seems impossible to fully step away.

bitter and sick - “break me down i’ll let you ruin my day flow through my veins” “i need a fix bitter and sick, sicker than love” - the first one is the twins to bruce and the second is bruce to the twins. in the first the twins are basically saying that they’ve lived one way for some long, existed alone together and never changing their ways, but now that bruce is here they are willing to adapt to make him fit into their lives. they’ve killed less because they’re not as hungry, they could still eat and the desire to hunt is still there, but with the knowledge that bruce doesn’t actually like it they can step back, allow him to save a few lives they learned gentleness for him. the second one is bruce’s addiction towards them. how his mind is never far from them, even when they sleep because he hates that he feel this way, he knows its wrong and it floods him with guilt, but he also can’t leave them, because he knows them now, had tasted their flesh on his tongue and while that would’ve not been his preferred union it was a union nonetheless, one he can’t ignore or suppress anymore

an unhealthy obsession - this is so self explanatory and in the words of john mulaney, “and i am lazy by nature”

[trashtheater101]

Prompts

Been meaning to make this for a while: Free list of skele-prompts! No credit needed (although I’d love to read it if you make one, maybe drop me a note?), and feel free to change ANY of the details or ships. This list is meant to ✧INSPIRE✧ not restrict. 

These are largely old ideas that I realize I’m probably never going to get around to writing myself and thought I’d share. Mostly Papcest, but there’s some left open for Fontcest and Sanscest, and you can always change it up. I probably forgot some, so I’ll add to it as I remember them.

RoyalMoney (Poppy/Cash)

Poppy is a wealthy, and unbearably bored Nigerian prince. Kept safe and sound, a prisoner in the castle by his overprotective brother, Poppy is allowed only limited contact with the guards or servants, and nothing at all with the outside world. When a thief breaks in through his bedroom window (captured easily by the Great Prince Poppy! He’s sheltered, not helpless!), Poppy can't help being intrigued… [His brother can shove it; He’s decided to keep this one.]

Fellcest (Red/Edge)

Red is a scientist. Or at least he used to be. He’s studied the wonders of the universe, tested the limits of time-space, and even broken through the divides between worlds. […none of it compared to learning the way his brother reacts to flirting.]

SpicyHoney (Edge/Stretch(Rus))

Edge is a loyal knight, through and through, and Rus is the true heir to the throne. Edge is determined to protect him no matter the cost. Even now that the kingdom has been overthrown and they were barely able to escape with their lives. Even now that they must keep moving, and live in hiding, lest Rus be captured and executed. Even though Rus is used to being pampered and spoiled, and Edge is the only one left to treat him with the sort of devotion and reverence that a true prince deserves. [Originally a Edge x Anyone, but the pouty, stubborn prince kept morphing into Rus, soooo…]

Edge and Stretch are stuck in a car together for a long trip, and expect to bicker the whole time. Unfortunately 5 minutes in one of them accidentally confesses. Neither are prepared for this, and now the car ride is spent dealing with THIS instead... oh dear… 

Stretch needs to get a physical. Cool, no big, even doctors aren’t sure what to do with a pile of bones, so no point in being embarrassed, and—bonus!—most don’t know how skeleton magic works, so he gets to skip the more invasive stuff. Except—wait—this time his doctor is a skeleton? A really hot skeleton?? And since Stretch is missing so much from his chart, he’s getting a THOROUGH exam??? ...great… [Bonus points for Stretch aggressively flirting to hide his nerves, “w-wow doc. i don’t usually spread my legs before the first date, haha. guess you must be special.”]

SpicyBBQ (Edge/Slim)

Edge’s new lamia is a dominant type, strong, and eager to breed him. But Edge isn’t inclined to submit, and he’s pretty sure he knows exactly how to tame his horny pet. [Succeed or fail, both are tasty~.]

MapleBlossom (Slim/Papyrus)

Slim is the lead singer/guitarist/drummer in an up and coming band. Hanging out at an afterparty of one of his shows, some cute little groupie, or a fan, or whatever, catches his attention when they start chatting him up. Slim is charmed, and while he’s got a pretty firm rule about not fucking the fans, he’s gotta make an exception this time. He’s gonna rock this groupies world. [Except that Papyrus isn’t a groupie. Or a fan. He was just invited along by a friend and thought this stranger might want someone to talk to. But boy is he flattered by all the attention! Is this… flirting?!?] 

SweetMoney (Sugar(HT!Pap)/Cash)

Taking his first ever train trip to the big city, Sugar ends up sitting next to a stranger. Cash seems friendly enough on the ride, but when they get off he refuses to leave??? He keeps insisting it’s too dangerous for someone like Sugar to be alone in the city, and that all well and good, but Sugar’s pretty sure he has a stalker now??? Blood had warned him about this… oh well… For a stalker, Cash is awfully charming. 

Edge x _______

Edge is an Alpha. All the Papyruses are Alphas, so of course he’s an Alpha. He is the most Alpha-y-est Alpha to ever Alpha, thank you very much. And as long as he keeps taking his Alpha-supplements, surely no one will be any the wiser. But the supplements can only repress his instincts so much when he’s surrounded by so many fine, aggressively-dominant Alphas. And let’s be real, how long would it really take a group of Alphas to notice an Omega in their midst? [Easily could be one-on-one, but this prompt is feeling pretty gang-bang-y to me~] 

In hindsight I think I may have seen this idea around before (so let me know if it’s already a thing…), but Edge as a Heinz Doofenshmirtz-(Or like MegaMind, Dr. Horrible, fuckin.... Team Rocket??)-style villain! Over the top dramatic! But also pretty ridiculous... But definitely EVIL!!!!! But also is he though??? Red is his henchman. His love interest can be the Hero, but also could be his usual kidnapping victim, or the cute skele from the laundry mat, or I suppose his henchman, or a brand-new unique dynamic! 

Loud Top Edge. That’s really all I’ve got for this prompt. It really didn’t have to be under Edge specifically… you could make it anyone, but I was thinking of Edge. ...as just... a… noisy… really verbal top... yeah...~<3

Papyrus x _______

Someone has been stealing apples from Papyrus’s apple orchard, and he is determined to catch the culprit! [Well, it turns out the culprit happens to be very attractive and that is a whole new, very different problem!]

Papyrus x _______/Sans x _______

Undertale is Universe 0. It’s the base, the original, the one every universe is spun off of. As such, there is some sort of general law of attraction pulling all the copies towards their originals. Or at least, that’s Sans’s theory anyway. That would explain all these Sans’s that keep hitting on him and—don’t think i don’t notice the rest of you making passes at my bro-! are you looking for a b a d  t i m e ? 

Bonus Lamia prompt

[A]’s lamia goes into a submissive heat. No matter what they do, however, [A] can’t seem to satisfy them. A quick google search reveals their lamia is looking to be bred with eggs, but—uh—[A] can’t produce eggs, and neither of them really want kids yet anyways, and—hey, you can buy safe to insert pseudo-eggs!—Don’t worry baby, I’m gonna give you just what you need~ 

- - - - -

A list of loose themes and thoughts. Poke through and see if anything catches your attention. Or maybe mix some together? (Conveniently numbered for a random number generator!) 

1. Bitties

2. Asleep on shoulder

3. Shopping trip

4. Bandaging after sparring 

5. Broken down car

6. Attractive salesman

7. Trapped in a box~ 

8. Good old fashioned temporary amnesia 

9. Is that a dog in your jacket? 

10. “If you touch him I will END you...!”

11. Crossover

12. Lamias

13. The meal was unrecognizable...You eat it anyways. 

14. Classic fairytale, but with a twist! 

15. A more obscure fairytale. (With all the ‘wtf??’s they tend to entail.)

16. “Please tell me you meant to do that...”

17. Ectoboobies

18. “God, you’re so hot… You look hot! SWEATY! Do you want a drink!?!?”

19. “F-FLIRTING? SO YOU FINALLY REVEAL YOUR ULTIMATE FEELINGS!?”

20. Borrowed pajamas

21. Candle light

22. BEACH DAY

23. Someone not normally collared: collared~! 

24. “Sit down and shut up! ...I’m going to serenade you now.”

25. “What will it take to make you realize I’m no good for you?” 

26. Running out of water

27. Physically shielding from harm

28. Can’t stop staring

29. Broke something important

30. He only ever acted like this when he was covered in dust…

31. Well... people always say you should marry a doctor

32. “I think I’m falling for you” 

33. “Guess you fell for me~” 

34. A bad vacation

35. Missing the bus 

36. A WAY too fancy restaurant

37. Good morning kiss

38. That’s probably a serial killer chasing you tbh. 

39. Lost & alone… 

40. Annoying Dog is secretly a matchmaker

41. A goodbye note

42. Freezing cold

43. A slow dance after the lights go down

44. Exploring

45. Hey! You’re that actor/singer/etc I like-! Why are you grinding on me!?!? 

46. “I failed you…”

47. A non-traditional Heat symptom

48. Soul-bonding: the aftermath. 

49. 2 dudes sittin in a hot tub, 5 ft apart cause they’re very gay and sorta nervous and-gosh-it sure is hot in this hot tub… 

50. Flowey: “Okay, look. I don’t normally give advice but…”