#he's finally started to heal and i am so fucking proud of him i could cry 😭💕💕💕💕💕

[unknownplane]

The Court Jester Part 3

Yandere Batfam x GN Reader

Pt. 1, Pt. 2, Pt. 4

The Joker came closer, almost inspecting the job (Y/N) had done. His eyes run over the Bat.

"Good job with the knots, my little Jester. That will keep him there for as long as we want!" The Joker exclaimed with a large grin. "Now, how did you get him here so fast! I must know!"

"I can't tell you, Dad! It would ruin the game. And we love the game!" (Y/N) explained. (Y/N) went up to the Joker and side hugged him. Bruce saw this and started struggling.

"What have you done to them! They said you 'Trained' them! I know you! Tell me now!" Bruce screamed.

The Joker's smile widened as he saw the Bat struggle. "Peanut, would you be so kind and get your dad something to drink? I am absolutely parched." The Joker said with honeyed words.

"Of course, dad!" (Y/N) said, jumping at the opportunity to please their dad. They ran out of the room hoping to get a drink as fast as possible.

"Look at them. I'm so proud of their growth. You know they were so sad when I first met them. They were only 5. They were looking for someone to talk to. Can you believe it, Bruce Wayne, ignoring one of his own while still taking in new kids. Can you imagine how that felt?!" Joker laughed unknowingly rubbing salt in Bruce's wounds.

"It was perfect, you know. Them being in such dire need of affection and not caring who it came from! A perfect opportunity for me to step in and take them away! At first, they resisted. Fought so hard not to succumb! They even called out for you. Did you know that!?" Joker confessed, stunning Bruce. Even after all he did, you still called out to him? You called for your dad, your real dad.

"It took a while to get them like this. Lots of training. Brutal, really. Though nothing I haven't done to you and your birds, just in a shorter period of time." Joker stated as if he was talking about weather and not torture. This shocked Bruce, remembering all the things the Joker did to his family. "How are they alive?!" Batman questioned.

"That's the funny thing, Bat! No matter what I did to them, they wouldn't die! They would get injured, but only a few seconds would pass, and then it would completely heal! I even cut off an arm, and as you can see, they have both now! Amazing, isn't it!" The Joker exclaimed. This stunned Bruce. (M/N)'s child was Meta? No. He would have noticed.

"Now, what is taking that child so long?" The Joker said brazenly.

With (Y/N)...

(Y/N) scrambled around looking for a bottle of water when someone came up behind them. They were suddenly grabbed and restrained. "The fuck!" (Y/N) exclaimed. "Relax it's just me. I'm here to save you." Jason whispered assuming (Y/N) would stop fighting when they heard it was him. (Y/N) struggled to move surprising Jason giving them a little wiggle room. (Y/N) jabbed their elbow into Jason's stomach pushing him back into a coughing fit.

With Jason off them, they turned around. "You aren't supposed to be here, Hood." (Y/N) stated glaring. They move their hands to their hip and pull out a small stick. They hit a button, and it enlarges to become a marotte.

(Y/N) swings at Jason as he tries to dodge, not wanting to hurt his sibling. This goes on until something pierces (Y/N) in the back of their nape. They start slowing down until they pass out.

"Took you long enough." Jason said flatly, going over to (Y/N). "They were putting up more of a fight than we all thought. I needed to get a clean shot." Damian claimed. He was lying to himself. He just wanted to assess how his older sibling fought, and from what he could tell, if they were taking this fight seriously, it wouldn't have ended well. "Let's just get them out of here. The others are waiting." Jason said, knowing that when he got to the manor, he would finally get to be the sibling they needed.

Giddy, he picked them up as if they were the most precious thing in the world and started leaving. "I'll go help dad." Damian said flatly as it seemed like a chore.

With Batman...

"Why? Why would you do those horrible things to a child?!" Bruce questioned. "For fun." The Joker spoke with a wolfish smile.

The door crept open, catching Bruce's eye. He saw his youngest creeping in the room. "You know I believe this is one of the only instances in which I would be willing to kill you." Bruce said, letting Damian he had permission to try and kill the Joker. "Really! I pushed you to that level with this one joke!? How wonderful! I will have to keep this in mind for later! Now, if only that bra -" a sudden gunshot stopped the Joker from finishing his sentence.

Blood rushed from the left side of Joker's face as he fell to the ground dead. "Where is your sibling?!" Bruce questioned with urgency. "They are on their way home with Hood. If we leave right now, we should be able to get there at the same time." Damian informed Bruce. "Good now untie me so we can leave. Your siblings got a mean knot." Bruce commanded.

-------------------------------------------------------

@cooki3dough @asillysimp @kitty-from-daaaa-voidddd @redkarmakai @horror-lover-69 @bat1212 @wisefuncherryblossom

[lovecla]

IF YOU LOVE ME, LET ME KNOW | jack hughes.

chapter six:

<last chapter> <next chapter>

➴ warnings: none!!

➴ word count: 4.1k

➴ author’s note: thought it’d be great to give u guys jack’s pov please don’t kill me—or jack. also wanna say thank you to each one of you who take the time to read this series and give me your thoughts abt it. i cannot thank you enough. pls be patient with jacky, he’s just a boy :p nice reading yall!!!

liked by charlieputh, troyesivan, billboard and 3,899,092 others

sophiamontenegro 'rip to my feelings' is out now 🪄 i want to start this by saying thank you to everyone who helped me make this dream of mine come true.

all of the songs here mean the world to me, and i truly hope they help to heal some of you, like they healed me. please, don't let anyone make you feel like you don't deserve good things. you do, all of us do.

thank you grace, thank you john, thank you hannah, a special thank you to charlieputh and a huge thank you to all of you.

View all 8,270 comments

charlieputh You’re a genius and it was my pleasure 💙 congratulations, Soph!

morgan.grace I love you so much I might turn into a puddle. Soph, you’re one of the strongest, sweetest people I’ve ever met and I’m so grateful to call you my best friend. I watched you put so much effort and energy into this, and i am proud. Happy RTMF day 🪦

billboard I am crying, you’re crying, all of us are crying.

user1 i knew this was going to hurt but DAMN Girl what the hell

user2 it’s been hours and I’m still crying because of this goddamn music video. And i HATE charlie puth

user3 user2 NO GIRL BC SAME?? it’s so SAD

user4 Harris Dickinson if i fucking catch you on the streets you’re DONE

user5 off topic but do you guys think any of these songs were written for jack hughes…

user6 user5 honestly no,, soph said this album has been in the making for one year and apparently they just broke up last week?

_quinnhughes Congrats, Soph 👍

sophiamontenegro _quinnhughes thank u, quinny

user43 sophiamontenegro _quinnhughes CHAT WHAT DOES THIS MEAN???

— ♡

“HUGHES, the hell was wrong with you today?” Keefe’s voice sounded harsh and angry.

Even though there were two Hughes in the team, everyone knew who the coach was referring to.

“It’s just not a good day,” Jack mumbled, removing his uniform and not bothering to look up.

The locker room was dead silent, so everyone heard Keefe’s scoff. “Not a good day? More like not a good week,” he stepped closer, hands on his hips. “You’ve been off for the entire week and let me tell you something, son, we’re not making it to the Finals with you playing like you did tonight.”

Jack wanted to talk back so bad but deep down he knew Coach was right. He had been playing like shit, ever since that night at your house.

You. Just thinking about you made Jack feel like straight up shit. Something that never happened before.

He is handsome, he has thousands of fans. People paid to watch him play, people wore his jersey proudly. He could have any girl he wanted but still. Everything changed at that dinner, six months ago, when he saw you performing up close for the second time.

At that moment, he was mesmerized by you. Back then, he thought he was just horny and in the need of a good fuck but looking back now he knows that it wasn’t just that. It was something bigger than himself, yet something he couldn’t name.

“I get it, Coach,” Jack muttered, putting on his suit.

“I hope you do, kid, otherwise, you can just say goodbye to your NHL career and the Stanley Cup.” Coach barked before getting out of the locker room.

Ignoring the stares he was getting, Jack moved on autopilot, like he’d been doing the entire week, shoving his things inside his duffel bag and frowning.

“Cap, wanna go out and grab some drinks? I wanna get wasted!” Someone, Jack didn’t care to know who, shouted, talking to Nico.

“‘Can’t today, man,” Nico answered, duffel bag already on his shoulder. “I’m going to a concert tonight.”

That caught Jack’s attention, pulling him back from his thoughts.

“Concert?” He asked, looking at how everyone went quiet and stared at Nico. “Whose concert?”

“Well, you see…” Nico stuttered and somehow, even if he hadn’t said anything, Jack knew exactly whose concert it was. “Just. A singer?”

“Yeah, no shit is a singer, Hischier, I thought we went to concerts to watch electricians doing their shit,” Jack bited back, the frown just bigger now. “Whose concert, Cap?” He said the word like he was mocking Nico and even though he wanted to take that back, he didn’t. Nico was an amazing person and it wasn’t his fault you didn’t want anything to do with Jack anymore.

“Hum, well—”

“For fuck’s sake, man, just spit it out,” Bastian said, rolling his eyes. “We’re going to Soph’s concert. Launching party, whatever.”

“We?” Jack’s eyes doubled in size. “Who else is going?”

“She invited the entire team,” Mercer answered, and Jack could swear he was one step away from passing out. “And Zegras.”

“Yeah, the entire team minus you!” Zegras shouted, clearly not reading the room. None of the players said anything about your and Jack’s situationship-break-up but Trevor made it clear he was happy with the situation. “Zegras is out in the hunt again, baby, ‘gonna give Soph the real D!”

Jack didn’t even notice he moved until he felt a heavy hand on his chest, looking down and realising it was Nico’s hand and he was now toe to toe with Trevor.

“Watch the shit you say, Zegras. I’m not fucking with you.” Jack spoke slowly, eyes not leaving Zegras’.

“Like you’re going to do anything, Hughes. You lost the prize, now it’s time for her to know what a real man is.”

Jack stepped foward again, only to be stopped by Nico’s hand.

“She’s not a fucking prize and this is not a fucking game, asshole,” Jack said through his teeth, ready to punch Trevor right there and now.

“How old are you two?” Hischier hissed, separating Jack and Trevor like a dad would do. “Trevor, shut the fuck up and don’t talk about Soph like that. And you,” he looked and Zegras before looking at Jack again. “You can’t and you won’t do shit. You and Sophia aren’t a thing anymore and there’s no one to blame but yourself. Suck it up, Hughes.”

Jack wanted to punch all of them in their fucking faces. It wasn’t his fault! He wasn’t the one who published the article and he wasn’t the one who sent that fucking picture of him and Ava leaving that party.

So what if she was his ex? That was in the past. He didn’t even remember her name, for fuck’s sake. She meant nothing to him while you—

“Whatever,” Trevor shrugged, before leaving the room.

“Hischier,” Jack called before Nico left. He turned back and stared at Jack, eyes tired. Jack felt bad for acting like that and giving even more trouble to Nico but Trevor was a fucking assface. “I need to go to that concert.”

“Unless you have an invitation or a ticket, I can’t take you there, man.” He bit his lips. “I’m sorry, but I won’t do that to Soph.”

Jack hated how Nico was clearly choosing sides and he also hated how he said her name and how everyone seemed very comfortable with calling you Soph but he pretended that he didn’t care.

“I’m not going to talk to her, I just…” his lips formed a straight line. He wasn’t sure of what he wanted exactly, but he needed to see you. Ever since your album had been released, he had been playing it nonstop, trying to memorize every breath you took, every line you sang, every beat you produced. He just needed to see you. “I want to see her.”

“Man, you know I can’t do that. Grace will kill me.”

“I’ll deal with her, Hischier, I swear,” in that moment, Jack was glad everyone else had already left, otherwise it’d be humiliating.

Although he noticed, with shock, that he wouldn’t mind begging in front of people if he got the chance to see you.

Nico ran his hands through his hair, muttering something in German before nodding with his head once.

“Fine, but I swear to God that if you upset Grace or Soph or worse, both,” he got closer to Jack’s body, looking like he did when he was on the ice. Terrifying. “I’ll personally make sure you won’t do that ever again.”

Gulping, Jack nodded once, before following Nico.

— ♡

THE line outside the venue was gigantic, making the men inside the van yell and whistle.

Much to Jack’s dismay, all of the Devils who were your fans had been invited to your concert— except him, of course. Which he thought was really, really shitty, by the way— and they were all excited, wearing shirts with your face on it and holding banners with your name.

Jack had to wear an all black outfit, with a cap hiding his hair and sunglasses. He thought he looked ridiculous but unfortunately, Nico was right: you couldn’t see him. He knew that if you did you’d be upset and the last thing he wanted was to ruin your night and concert. So yeah, hiding himself it is.

They left the van, entering the building from the back entrance, not wanting to cause a commotion out there in the front. Jack had been told this was just a small concert but the place looked packed with people.

“Okay, so,” Nico started, wearing his Captain belt once again. “Grace will be here in a second, and she will give us the VIP necklaces so we can go to our sets,” he turned around, facing Jack. “I honestly don’t know what to do with you. Grace will probably kick you out but at least I did my part.”

Jack just nodded, already thinking of millions excuses he could say to Grace so she would say yes.

True to Nico’s words, Grace showed up not even a minute later, wearing a red, tight dress and heavy makeup. She looked beautiful.

“Hi, fellas!” She walked in, smiling brightly. “Nice seeing you all, Soph will be happy with you being here and— what the fuck are doing here?” Her smile was gone, and now the only thing left was a scowl on her face.

Jack smiled awkwardly.

“Grace, listen, he asked me to bring him here because he wanted to see Soph—” Nico started, only to be interrupted by Grace’s harsh words.

“I don’t give a single fuck, Nico, what the hell!” She was starting to leash out on Hischier so Jack knew he had to say something.

“She’s not going to see me, I promise,” he replied.

Grace laughed. “Of course she isn’t going to see you because you’re going to leave!”

“Grace, come on,” Jack muttered, ready to beg to another person just to see you. Fucking shit. “I can sit in the back, there’s like a thousand people outside. She won’t see me.”

“Baby,” everyone looked at Nico as he approached Grace. Jack frowned. Since when were they together? “I told him that if he did anything bad I’d punch the shit out of him myself. He will behave.”

“I’m not a dog—”

“Fine,” Grace sighed, loudly, already looking like she regretted saying yes. “Nico I swear that if Sophia sees him or if someone takes any pictures of him here, I’ll snatch your dick out of your body.”

All of the men there made an ouch sound, faces amused and terrified. Nico only nodded, after giving Jack the scariest look ever.

Grace gave them their badges and asked for another one for Jack. Everyone there was running around and shouting things, probably all worried about everything being perfect, and Jack found himself smiling because you were surrounded by people who cared about you and your work.

Turns out that sitting in the back really meant sitting in the back, because Grace gave Jack a really shitty seat that despite being small as fuck, had a really good view of the stage, even if it’d be impossible for you to spot him.

Jack’s hands were sweaty and his heart was racing in his chest. The place was packed with all different types of people, from children to adults, and some grandparents here and there.

He was proud. He remembered how excited you were for this album, for this little concert, and watching how you’ve managed to ace all of that, made him smile under his hand.

The rest of his teammates were sitting in the VIP section, really close to the stage, and hell if Hughes didn’t envy them. But he knew this was for the best.

Thirty minutes after he sat down, the lights dimmed and only the stage was on. The screams were so fucking loud and if Jack wasn’t already used to people screaming his ears off during games, he’d probably have a fit right there.

“Ladies and gentlemen, Sophia Montenegro.”

Nothing could ever prepared Jack for the sight of you on that stage. It’d been two weeks since you last saw each other and the last time was awful, his heart hurting every time he remembered the sight of you crying and remembering he was the reason why.

But watching as you stood on top of some kind of platform, wearing a black, glittery body suit, with heels and black, see through socks. Your hair was styled in a way that drove him absolutely crazy, and now he wasn’t so sure that coming to this concert was a good idea after all.

“One year, ten thousand bad moments

But it was dressed up in heated emotion

And I tried to look for the best in the worst

But like, fuck me, that caused a commotion.”

Your voice was perfect, of course it was. Somehow, you knew how to sing live even better than the recorded songs, and your stage presence was out of this world. Jack looked at you as you moved around, singing and dancing and waving at people and interacting with the band, not knowing what to do with the weight on his chest.

He was happy to see you, he really was, happier than he’d felt in this entire week, but fuck if he wasn’t hurt. Watching you from afar was even worse than not watching you at all, because he was reminded again and again that he lost you.

Even if he still thinks it wasn’t exactly his fault.

The crowd was loud, people were dancing here and there and Jack could swear the girl in front of him was crying.

“Oh, you're so vicious

Love me, then pretend you didn't

Crush my heart and wreck my image

Why you gotta be so, so, so

Oh, you're so vicious”

You were sitting in the middle of the stage, microphone in your right hand, singing with your whole heart. Anyone could see how alive you felt whenever you sang and honestly, it was beautiful to witness.

The song continued, and every second Jack was taken aback by how beautiful you were. So fucking beautiful. The most beautiful woman he had ever seen, inside and out, full of life and happiness and joy.

He only noticed that the song had ended when he heard people cheering louder than they were before, and he started to pay attention again.

There you stood, in the middle of the stage, trying to even your breath. You were smiling so hard, cheek to cheek, eyes shining so bright even Jack in his shitty ass seat could see it.

“Hi, guys,” you were out of breath but your voice still sounded like honey to Hughes’ ears, and he had missed the sweetness. So. Much. “Oh my god, there’s so many of you in here, what the hell.”

People laughed, and Jack found himself smiling.

“Hi, I’m Sophia,” you said, shyly, like the people there hadn’t paid to see you. “Thank you for being here, guys. It’s been a while since I last saw you guys face to face. Last time was in Coachella, back in April, right?”

People shouted many things, you smiled.

“So a week ago I released my fifth album, rip to my feelings,” more cheering. “I know the title is corny but I couldn’t find better wording. This album, and I’ve said this countless times, means the world to me,”

“Fuck Harris Dickinson!” Someone shouted and everyone started laughing, including you.

“Yeah, yeah,” you agreed. “I hope you like the show. I’ve also heard that we have some special guests tonight…”

Jack’s heart stopped. For some idiotic reason, he thought you’d say his name. Until he reminded himself that you and him were no longer a thing and you didn’t even know he was there.

“Please, please, please, make some noise for my favorite hockey team, the New Jersey Devils!”

The camera focused on the fifteen men sitting on the VIP section, who got out of their seats and started shouting, while showing off their merch, making the other people cheer too.

Jack knew he shouldn’t, but he felt jealous all the same. He should be there, cheering for you and kissing you in front of all of them. Maybe punching Zegras in the face while he was at it too.

“Thank you for coming, guys,” you smiled again, before you started singing the next song.

Jack was mesmerised with you for the next hour and a half. How you danced, how you sang, how you twirled around, how you looked so fucking gorgeous in that tight outfit. How your eyes shined, how your body was perfect, and how he wanted nothing more than you.

The concert went well, like everyone knew it would, you making yourself comfortable, and at home: talking with your fans, taking pictures with them, handing the mic to some of them, who sang awfully in Jack’s humble opinion. Even if the majority of the songs were sad and soul crushing, you made sure people enjoyed themselves.

You were a true sight.

“Now, this is going to be the last song,” some sad oooh’s were heard and you smiled, nodding with your head. “I know, I know, I’m sad too but you all have to go home and these people here,” you pointed at the band behind you. “Also have to go home. But,” you raised your finger, moving your body until you were sitting on the edge of the stage. Some of your fans shouted. “I have one more song for you. This one isn’t in the album because I wrote this recently, but I still want to show it to you guys.”

More cheers, more shouts, more people crying.

“This one’s called Bad for Business and will be available on all streaming platforms by midnight.” Jack watched as you smiled, making him raise and eyebrow. He didn’t know about this one.

“He's good for my heart but he's bad for business

Tears me apart when he grants my wishes

All of my friends think I've gone crazy

But they don't know me like my baby

We look good in photographs

I like the way you like to laugh at dirty jokes

I know they'll always land

Used to get work on time

But now you're taking up my nights

Never been so glad to be so tired

Ooh, I'm mad for you

It's sad but true and I know it

Ahh, you're on my mind

You stole my life and it's showin’…”

Jack couldn’t take his eyes off the stage, eating up every word. He knew this song was about him. It was as clear as day, and maybe he was just being cocky but he didn’t care. It meant that he still had a chance.

He's good (good), it's bad (bad)

The best I've ever had (best I've ever had)

And he's so nice, it's sad (it's sad)

He ruined all my plans

And he just makes me so crazy

I know everyone sees

That he'll be the death of me

He still had a chance. He could still try because it was clear: you were still in love with him. Why else would you sing this? Why else would you write something like this?

He got up, he had seen enough. He left the venue with his head low, trying to walk without being noticed. He knew exactly what he had to do, and even if it sucked, it was the right thing.

—- ♡

“I really hope there is a reason why you’re calling me in the middle of the night, Jack,” Quinn sounded tired but. He always did. “A good one, that is,”

“I need some advice,” Jack looked at his brother through the screen, noticing the eye bags and the tired eyes. Why the hell Quinn always looked like he had been hit by a train was unknown.

Quinn just hummed, signaling for him to continue speaking.

“It’s Soph.”

“Did something happen?”

Jack cringed. Maybe they did need to start paying attention to what happened online. “Yeah, well, someone took a picture of me leaving the Halloween party with that girl named Ava who’s apparently one of my exes and posted it online, making it look like we hooked up or whatever. Then, they talked shit about Soph and Soph kind of broke up with me after saying she was in love with me and basically calling it a mistake.”

Quinn stared at the camera for a good minute, and just when Jack was starting to think he’d fallen back asleep, he moved, caressing his face with his hand.

“The hell is going on in New Jersey.”

“That’s all you have to say?” Jack scoffed. “I didn’t call you for nothing. If I wanted whatever the hell this is I would’ve called Luke.”

“I mean, what did you expect to happen? One day your whore days would catch up on you. Everyone knew this.”

“Why does everyone keep calling me a whore? Is this how women feel?” Jack frowned.

“They call you that because you had a new girl every month. Every time you had a gala you’d take a new girl with you and of course people would talk about that.”

“Okay but I wasn’t dating any of them!” Jack raised his arms, forgetting that he was still holding his phone and dropping it. Picking it up, he continued. “So what if I had a new woman every month? The issue here is Sophia not wanting to be with me anymore!”

“I think that, before wanting to be with her, you have to know if you want a relationship at all,” Quinn said, calmly. “You’ve never had a girlfriend before, a serious one that is. A relationship is a commitment, especially when you’re dating someone as famous as Sophia.”

“I know that she’s famous, I don’t care about that—”

“It’s not about her being famous, jackass, it’s about people forgetting that she is more than that. She is more than the Sophia who sings and dances, she’s a person. That’s literally common sense.”

“I know that too,” Jack mumbled.

“Soph’s been through a lot with that son of a bitch who’s not even worth mentioning. I don’t know much, you probably know about it better than me, but what I know is enough to make me want to punch him with my stick.”

“Yeah,” Jack agreed. “I hate that fucking asshole. He cheated on her, lied, manipulated her and had the audacity to break up with her.”

“So, knowing all of that, how do you think she felt when she saw that picture?” Quinn asked, eyebrow arched. “The guy she’s in love with, holding hands with his ex.”

“I didn’t fuck her!” He raised his voice, tired of everyone saying the same. “I just took her home and went back to my place.”

“Yeah, but does Soph know that?”

Jack frowned. “Of course she does. I’ve told her multiple times that I was only seeing her. And Ava was drunk, I wouldn’t have done anything with her even if I wanted to.”

“Yes because it’s very credible that the guy who used to date a new girl every month now suddenly only dates a single girl. Jack, sometimes I feel like you just don’t think.”

“If I wanted someone to call me dumb—”

“You would’ve called Luke, I know. But right now, that’s what you need to hear,” Quinn sighed. “Look, I know it’s hard for you to understand but put yourself in her shoes. Just think.”

“Everyone keep saying this is my fault but I don’t see how I am the person in the wrong here. I didn’t publish the article, I didn’t fuck Ava—”

Quinn sighed loudly again, interrupting Jack and staring at the screen for a minute, again.

“What?”

“Sometimes I ask myself if we were raised by the same woman,” he shrugged. “Just imagine if Ma knew all of this. She’d probably yell at you.”

“Get to the point, Quinn,” Jack rolled his eyes.

“Look. I’ll try to make it simple,” he started. “Sophia is in love with you. She fell in love with you despite knowing that you have a long history of dating. But, she’s also hurt. And you made it all worse when you said the things I know you probably said.”

“I didn’t say anything that bad…”

“Oh, quit it, Jack. I know you,” Quinn smiled. “You probably made her cry too. That’s the drill. Anyways, you have to ask yourself how do you feel about Soph—”

“I love her.”

They both stayed quiet for at least five minutes. Quinn just staring at the screen like he was reading a newspaper article and Jack staring back at him, looking like he was about to explode.

He hadn’t stopped to think about what he truly felt for you. He knew he liked you, adored even, but he never thought of naming the things he felt whenever he thought about you.

But it was as clear as day. He loved you, he was in love with you.

“Well, then I think my job here is done.” Quinn finally said, breaking the silence.

“What?” Jack almost shouted. “What do you mean? You have to help me get her back!”

“I don’t have time for that and honestly neither do you,” he stated and, well, he was right. They were in the middle of the season, and that was their job. Jack needed to get a grip. “If I were you, though, I’d start by apologising and telling her that you didn’t have sex with Ava or anyone else for that matter.”

“Okay,” Jack breathed. “And then?”

“Figure it out yourself. You’re a big boy.”

Jack groaned, leaning back on the couch. “Fuuuck. This is so fucking shitty. I love her, and she loves me, why can’t we just be together?”

“You will, after you fix this mess.” Quinn yawned and nodded at you. “I’m gonna go back to sleep. You should too. You’ve been playing like shit lately.”

“Fuck you. Bye.��

“Bye.”

He hung up, throwing his phone on the pillow next to him.

How the hell was he going to fix this?

[stormisamoth]

yapping about c3e120 (spoilers)

I know I say it every week but I just can't get over how fucking epic these maps look

suddenly hit with the desire to draw ashton third wheeling imodna movie date

the look of relief on Robbie's face after orym escapes being eaten 🥰

dorian embracing the fact that he's royalty and a badass despite how afraid and insecure he feels I'm so proud of my boy

holy shit a seventhnintheighth level spell

over 170 damage is actually insane

oh fuck fearne is unconscious

oh fuck nat 1 on the death save oh fuck

imogen convincing braius to heal fearne by showing him her titty. close enough welcome back vex and scanlan.

aw that laudna painting is gorgeous

oh fuck both dorian and braius down

LIAM DONT SAY THAT DONT START BEING ALL IM GLAD WE HAD A RELATIONSHIP BEFORE THE END HES NOT GONNA DIE DONT MAKE ME CRY

fuck now Imogen's down

fuck I think this is the roughest final fight they've had, like 3 down and almost all their healers gone. like I think fearne is the only one with healing left

man this fight is STRESSFUL I feel like at least one of them isn't coming out alive

fuck the amount of fear orym is probably feeling at potentially losing another partner to this fight

NOT HIS CAL TO HEAL UP DORIAN MIRORING HIS SENDING TO REUNITE WITH HIM AFTER FCG DIED I AM CRYING

FUCK AND NOW ORYM IS DOWN

fuck that is half the party down holy shit

STRESSED

not fearne rolling a 1 again on the death saves

genuinely this could be a tpk and I will cry

Travis and Laura such a beautiful relationship

FUCK YEAH METEOR SWARM

Abubakar coming in clutch

oh shit they gonna get smote

I love how bitchy the hells are in face of authority I love it so much

fuck that was such an insane episode

[scoonsalicious]

Unwanted: Chapter 12, Unlucky - Pt. 1

Pairing: Bucky Barnes x Avenger!Fem!Reader

Summary: When your FWB relationship with your best friend Bucky Barnes turns into something more, you couldn’t be happier. That is, however, until a new Avenger sets her sights on your super soldier and he inadvertently breaks your heart. You take on a mission you might not be prepared for to put some distance between the two of you and open yourself up to past traumas. Too bad the only one who can help you heal is the one person you can no longer trust.

Warnings: (For this part only; see Story Masterlist for general Warnings) Language, minor mention of sex.

Word Count: 412

Previously On...: You and Bucky had a heart-to-heart in the bathroom at Gino's where you admitted you've been putting up an emotional wall between the two of you. Tony decided it was time for another game of 'What the 'F' Was It?' (thanks for the inspo for that, weed!), and when you and Bucky went to leave to go back to the Tower for some... quality time, Jade was not pleased. It was, therefore, a pleasant surprise to watch Bucky rebuff her.

A/N: Very, very short part today, friends. I am going to fully confess that I am lulling you into a false sense of security in these next two parts before I start lobbing shit at the fan with a rocket launcher.

Banner By: The absolutely amazing @mrsbuckybarnes1917!

Thank you to all those who have been reading; if you like what you've read, likes, comments, and reblogs give me life, and I truly appreciate them, and you!

Taglist: (Please let me know if you’d like to be added!) @jmeelee @cazellen @blackhawkfanatic @les-sel @marcswife21 @buckybarnessimpp @mrsbuckybarnes1917 @erelierraceala @hayjat @capswife @itsteambarnes @jupiter-107 @marygoddessofmischief @sebastians-love @learisa @lethallyprotected @rabbitrabbit12321 @buckybarnesandmarvel @fanfictiongirl77 @calwitch @fantasyfootballchampion @selella @jackiehollanderr @wintercrows @sashaisready @missvelvetsstuff @angelbabyyy99 @keylimebeag @maybefoxysouls @vicmc624 @sashaisready @j23r23 @wintercrows @crist1216 @cjand10 @doublejeon @pattiemac1

With Jade away in Malaysia, things between you and Bucky finally felt like they were going back to normal. Yes, you had your hands full making final preparations for your board presentation, but Bucky was constantly by your side, bringing you lunch, cheering you on, making sure you took appropriate breaks and ending your workday at an appropriate time so you weren’t wearing yourself too thin. 

And the sex? Yeah, that was right back on track.

Before you knew it, the day of your presentation had arrived. You were a nervous wreck. In the lab, you were confident, willing to take chances, assert your authority with ease and confidence, but presenting in front of a group of stuffy, predominantly middle-aged white men? All of that went right out the window. 

“You’ve got this, sweets,” Bucky said as you both stood outside the board room. 

“What if they hate it, Buck?” you murmured, trying to stop your hands from shaking. “What if the presentation’s terrible?”

“Hey,” he said, putting his hands on your shoulders to hold you still, “I have more faith in you than I’ve ever had in anyone. You’ve worked so hard on this, and you know it works. It’s gonna save so many lives. You’ve practiced this presentation inside and out; I bet you could do it in your sleep. I’m so fucking proud of you, doll.”

You managed a weak smile. “Do you want me to come in with you?” he asked gently. “That way, you get nervous with all those stodgy old men in front of you, you can just look at this old man and pretend it’s just you and me. Just like we’re practicing up in our room.”

You nodded eagerly. “Yes! Oh god, yes, please! Thank you so much, Buck.” You kissed him quickly on the lips, the idea of being able to stare into his ocean-blue eyes as you went through your presentation instantly calming you and filling you with a sense of security. “I love you.”

He chuckled and squeezed your shoulders. “I love you, too, doll. And this is the least I can do for you, after everything you’ve done for me.”

The door to the board room opened before you could say more to one another. A secretary smiled when she saw you. “Ms. (Y/L/N),” she said, “they’re ready for you now.”

You took a deep breath. “Here we go,” you said before taking Bucky’s hand and walking inside.

<- Previous Chapter / Next Part ->

[aku-soul]

WARNING P5R SPOILERS AHEAD GO PLAY THE GAME FOR YOURSELF AND SKIP THIS POST IF YOU DONT WANNA BE SPOILED

So anyways I finished persona 5 royal a couple days ago, here's my thoughts:

Absolutely amazing game, I loved it so dang much and I'm so sad it's over. And now, onto the character reviews

Ren Amamiya (protag): It's me! But man do I feel even worse for what he had to go through. Seriously, going to jail twice, temporarily losing his memory and hoping that he would get stuff right... Dude the scene where akechi shot me gave me chills it was done so well. I was seriously about to cry thinking I messed up. Also, if I was joker at the end of sem 3 after I graduated I would immediately come back to leblanc because coffee dad duh.

Sojiro Sakura: HE CALLED ME FAMILY, COFFEE DAD CALLED ME FAMILY OH MY GOD BEST DAY EVER. I love dad so much. It was so sweet when he cried after I left, that almost made me cry too.

Ann Takamaki: Yeah she sure does exist, uh huh. I barely interacted with her... I don't think her phantom thief outfit helped at all with that issue.

Morgana: Congrats on finally becoming human for a while dude. Also him being part of the velvet room was not something I expected. At all. Also when he was about to disappear I almost freaking cried what the hell. You can't do that to me game. AND THEY DID IT TWICE. Those scenes made me realize how much I actually care for morgana the cat (cue "I AM NOT A CAT")

Futaba: SISTER SHE IS MY SISTER! I am going to feel so weird when I romance her for completions sake... I love the bond her and I have as siblings. She did such a good job growing up within such a short amount of time, I am so proud. Also holy hell was she smart with the akechi phone thing. No wonder she did something so out of character in that moment.

Makoto: I am going to beat up Eiko's boyfriend so hard. I never finished her story though, I got up to level 8 with her. Eh whatever there's always next playthrough. Her heals are pretty good, to bad I hardly ever use her.

Igor (both false and real): Dude I could not get over the real igors voice, please give me back the fake igors voice that one sounded so much better seriously. Also I checked and igor is indeed voiced by dad from fe3h love that. The boss fight for him though freaking sucked, like can you please stop giving my cat lust with your gun, seriously?

Haru: I'm gonna be completely honest, I didn't start her confidant till like 5 days before the final battle because I thought I'd need her for true ending (I thought true ending required all confidants, better save than sorry). Honestly, no real opinion on her. She certainly does exist. I wonder if the vegetables she grows are any good... If they're for sp that'd be nice because sp recovery items are so hard to come by.

The twins (and lavenza): Dude I nearly cried when I had to execute the twins, it felt so sad. But hey, at least I got lavenza out of it. I'm guessing she's the one who wrote the list then. Also her avatar in persona 5 tactica is so cute.

Ichiko: Drunk aunt type. I got close to finishing her storyline but didn't. Whatever. I hate how she's an option for romance but my harem bois aren't??? What is this atrocity.

Kawakami: Yeah look I don't care if you're getting threatened by the mafia or loan sharks or whatever. Please stop texting me "Hello master!" when you said yourself you don't want the history on my phone to be available. I only got two things in because my god am I super uncomfortable with calling my teacher up for maid services...

Hifumi: If I didn't hc joker as super gay for my harem bois (I will explain who those people are later) she'd probably be the one I'd ship him with. I like her a lot honestly, she might be my favorite romanceable option.

Tae Takemi: Her ex boss fucking sucks, get off your high horse dude. At least we managed to change his heart and get her back on track. I'm hc'ing miwa chan as continuing to visit Tae even after she gets better and eventually following in Tae's footsteps and helps out around the clinic.

Iwai: GUN UNCLE GUN UNCLE. Him giving me a gecko at the end had me tearing up. He considers me family too oh my god. Also hell yeah I got a cousin out of that deal. I love uncle Iwai so much.

Mishima: I maxed him out and then promptly forgot about him. Seriously, when the scene of him petitioning for signatures happened I immediately thought "oh shit yeah mishima is a person who exists". Sorry mishima...

Yoshida: Yeah, I started him and that was about it. I really don't care about him at all if I'm being honest. I will have to eventually level him up though... Next playthrough

Shinya: Woo younger brother alert. I'm so proud that he gave back the money he took from other kids and apologized too. Good job Shinya, you did good.

Maruki: Ugh his character arc was so good. Dude the 2/2 reveal broke my heart I was so tempted to take the offer, but I knew I couldn't. But dude. Why are you a taxi driver at the end. What is the reason for that what.

Ryuji: HAREM BOI NUMBER ONE BABY!!!! The numbers don't matter it's just when we got introduced to em. I love him so much. In tactica I was able to "marry" him and I was so excited that I took screenshots. Dude when he saved us in shido's palace and we thought he died I almost cried. I love Ryuji so much.

Yusuke: HAREM BOI NUMBER TWO BABY!!!! He is so gay I love him. At the end when he gave me his painting I teared up. I absolutely love him so much. A great addition to the harem bois. Best artist boi.

Akechi: WHY MY GUY FUCKING WHY! HAREM BOI NUMBER THREE!!!! You were the reason why I was so tempted to take Maruki's offer, don't treat your life as if it was nothing. Also you don't hate me you love me admit it. Robbie Daymon does such a good job on everday akechi I love it so much. I leveled him up as soon as I could. Also because of the ending he's still alive and no one can change my mind, I *need* him to be alive. Dude I bougth tactica and the dlc just so I could see him again. I love akechi so freaking much. Also his official va and joker's official va made a cover song together and it's so good I am obsessed and I have seen some good things made out of it.

I think that's all? If anyone wants me to give my opinion on anyone else I will. Anyways back to playing tactica and once I finish that it's onto strikers

[khaoala]

I can’t believe it’s over. What am I supposed to do with my Saturdays now? What am i supposed to do without all the emibonnie content we’ve been blessed with these past 12 weeks (I know they have that fanmeet coming up but…).

Ok, let’s see if i can try to collect my thoughts and make them sound semi coherent.

I was a little surprised by the 4mo time jump but i guess i get why it was necessary. Kawi has mostly recovered, pamrak continue to be fucking adorable with their postcards, and the oat/rak team up to go visit nene was sweet. All of that leading up to the greatest and sweetest sibling hug of all time. Rak really does have healing hugs 🫂 (I think I could use one right about now 😭).

Rak never fails to make me so proud every time she stands up to her dad and talks back to him, she has me fist punching the air and yelling “Tell him, Rak! TELL THAT SON OF A BITCH OFF!” And of course I can’t not mention nene sweeping in (im gonna miss my little lurker) going on about “WE this” and “WE that”. She blamed khem for taking away her family AND THEN CAME IN AND TOOK HIS FAMILY AWAY. Congrats, Nene you got your revenge, and as an added bonus, got yourself some siblings and a mother figure (and possibly a gf too). Khem may still be alive after all of that (at least he didn’t get redeemed) but here’s to hoping one of the maids steps up and poisons his food 🤞🏽🤞🏽.

You know what happened next….poor old, sweet, precious grandma bua. GONE TOO SOON! SHE DIDNT EVEN GET A CHANCE TO SEE RAK ONE LAST TIME AND THAT IS JUST UNFORGIVABLE! Last week when I saw the ep preview and saw that pamrak would be separated I had joked about the reunion sex but god to have their reunion to be at grandmas funeral!!!! DOUBLE UNFORGIVABLE!!! I think I cried the most during that scene compared to the rest of the episode. One good thing that did come out of it was at the end when everyone was ganging up on poor puppy dog rak 🥺 and we were blessed with the another ever elusive Nene smile. Happiness and having friends and family looks good on her 🥹.

Ok, so the first time jump I understood but then putting in a four fucking year time jump???? What was the purpose of that? 4 years of pamrak was taken from us!!!! And am I to believe that in 4 years oat and nene weren’t already dating? Did we witness the start of a first date??? FOUR WHOLE YEARS JUST SKIPPED RIGHT OVER!! The biggest blow for me was that we WERENT GIVEN A WEDDING!! What the actual fuck. I mean yea they were adorable as ever waking up in the bed together with their rings on and telling the kids that they were WIVES!!!! But but but the wedding 😔.

I don’t remember every aspect of the Pluto finale other than them getting back together and getting married but one finale I remember quite well was the Reverse 4 You finale. They had a part four fumble in that finale and wasted time by showing us four forgiving that girl instead of giving us more fourwa scenes. Feel like that aspect was repeated here.

That’s my only gripe; I obviously loved every other thing about this show. It has skyrocketed to the top of my gl list and will probably remain there for a long time.

-🤫

I lied. One more thing

All those years of dental school and she ends up volunteering to teach kids about brushing their teeth????

i left this one to answer today because i was a zombie yesterday and since it was the last episode, it deserves all the brainpower i can muster.

i'm afraid emibonnie and pamrak might have changed my brain chemistry forever (i'm sorry milklove, you'll always be special to me, but i think i have a new favorite). they were phenomenal. i could talk all day about them and how much they delivered flawless chemistry in their very first project together. they are the blueprint to be followed. they deserve all the praise and success that i know will come their way. i love them dearly, and i'm so glad they were who gave us this pamrak.

time skips in gmm shows have become a standard at this point, not only in gls but their bls too, so i wasn't so surprised by the 4 months jump (i was however surprised by the 4 years jump, but more of that later). seeing rak focusing on her studies and helping her mom and brother out and later bringing nene to see kawi was just very sweet. i was very pleased with that tbh. i wasn't so sure how they would bring nene to the family core, but we knew she felt guilty bc of kawi suicide attempt, so bringing her to help him heal was very sweet (and i 100% agree, rak has healing hugs and we should all get one).

rak really is someone that speaks to me in spiritual levels. i have a huge (personal) problem with the "this is a matter between me and your mother. don't get into this" kind of narratives, bc you had this manipulative asshole making everyone bend to his will the whole time, and he wants rak, who has seen all of that (and experienced it firsthand too) to stay quiet? when she very much knows better than just lower her head and let him step on them? no no. my girl has made me proud every single step of the way. so brave. i love this woman with every fiber of my being and i'll miss her tremendously. nene also was so girl boss when she got into that house and told khem to wait and see who was going to come out on top. SHE KNOWS SHE HAS PEOPLE TO SUPPORT HER. SHE HAS A SAFETY NET AND HE DOESN'T. TAKE THAT ASSHOLE.

at the time, i was so heartbroken that yai bua didn't get the chance to see rak one last time, but next day thoughts and i'm okay with that now. not everyone gets the chance to say their goodbyes, but yai knew how much rak cared for her, and how much they enjoyed their time together, even if they only had video calls to see each other. it made pam telling rak about yai's passing a lot sadder too. the two of them crying in the phone in complete silence? absolutely destroyed me.

now again, the four years jump was something really. i assume they did it to make sure rak had graduated and could teach alongside with her WIFE. but i suspended belief for very much everything else. do you want me to believe that in four years the cafe gang is only the three of them still? and that they even have jobs yet? hasn't pheem been trying to become an actor since the beginning? and it took them all four years to move on? i don't buy it. someone in the tags of my (first) oatnene post said that they pretending to not be together must be some type of roleplay before they go on dates and i'll believe that's the case bc there's no way aot wasn't insistent enough not to take nene out on a date after a few months after she joined rak's family. also, i've said it in the tags too but i'll say it again, i'm finally convinced of viewmim's chemistry. all it took was nene stop being a vengeful single minded person and start letting herself be cared for to convince me that they'll work amazingly well together.

not getting a wedding was a choice though. the moment they woke up in the bed and i saw the rings in their ring fingers i was 👀👀👀, but i thought they were engaged since i always mix up which hand is wedded and which hand is engaged. can we hope for an our skyy with the gls couples? maybe we get to see more of their married life or the wedding. i really want to see emibonnie in wedding gowns.

i think the us finale was probably the most solid finale we've had tbh. from all the recent gls i've watched at least, they had the most solid plotline and satisfactory end. something that happened with most of the shows i've watched in recent times is that i'd lose interest in the story as they got to the end of the story. but they had a grip on me from start to finish. even if i wish we've got more pamrak being domestic af, i feel nice that they tried giving us closure for all the stories they told. even khem being alone in those expensive stairs. ohh, that was delicious.

i also feel like pam teaching kids how to brush their teeth was more of a side thing. you know, you can't be cute in a pretty finale montage while someone has their mouth wide open and you're with full dentist gear, so this was a fun alternative.

[audhdbuck]

fic requests you say? where's bongo cat.

anyway i'm throwing my hat in the ring and ask for trans!mickey after too surgery (and ian taking care of him, because mickey is being a little stupid and tries to do everything himself).

not sure that's what you're asking for but it's what came to mind.

(also, can you imagine trans!mickey realising he has an excuse to wear his hawaiian shirts now and also when he realises he can just leave them open now because his chest his flat. i am experiencing emotions.)

this got longer than needed, anyway, love ya, bud, hope YOUR recovery goes well!

nosho!!!! when i say i am in love with this prompt...

this also ended up being a little longer than planned so uh. oops? or you're welcome.

----------

“C’mon, let me-”

“I got it, Ian!” Mickey huffs.

It’s been two weeks since Mickey’s top surgery, and much to Ian’s dismay, is trying to do everything himself. Stubborn-ass, Ian calls him. Currently, Mickey is trying to reach for a coffee mug in their cabinet.

“Mickey, you could tear your incisions. Please, just let me do this one thing for you. I’ll let you make the coffee, but the doc said no reaching for a few weeks. Please.”

Begrudgingly, Mickey relents. 

“Fuckin’- fine. I hate this.” Mickey says with a sigh.

“I know,” Ian says softly, grabbing Mickey’s favorite mug from the shelf and setting it on the counter, “but if you want to heal properly, you’ve gotta listen to the doctor.”

“Feel so… useless and shit. Can’t even get a stupid coffee cup. Feels like I can’t do anything, man. Just wanna be done with this shit.”

“It’s only a few more weeks, you’ll make it, I promise. You’ve made it this far, you did such a big thing, and the payoff will be so fucking worth it.” Ian tells him, reaching to rub Mickey’s back gently. 

“Yeah, guess you’re right. Just tired of bein’ in bed all the time and cooped up like this.”

Mickey leans into Ian’s touch for a moment, then grabs a coffee pod to put in their new Keurig coffee maker. He pops it into the top of the machine and sets the mug underneath the brewer before pressing the brew button. Soon, the comforting scent of coffee fills the air. 

“Can I grab the milk for you, your highness?” Ian asks with a small smirk. 

“Fuck off, man. Fine.” Mickey retorts, a small smile in return to assure Ian he’s not actually mad.

“Hey, don’t forget, you get those annoying bandages off later today. I think you’ll feel a lot better,” Ian tells him, pouring the milk into Mickey’s coffee.

Mickey glances down at his chest, smoothing one hand down it and smiling a bit to himself. 

“Can’t believe I finally did it,” he says in a whisper. “Felt impossible, y’know?”

Ian softens at that. 

“You made it, Mickey. And I am so fucking proud of you. I love you.”

“Love you too, sap,” Mickey says, leaning over to give Ian a peck on the lips.

*******

Mickey can’t believe it. He stands in front of the mirror at the doctor’s office, seeing his unbandaged chest for the first time. The scars are still red and pronounced, but the doctor assures him that over time and with proper scar care, they’ll heal up nicely, and may even fade. A permanent reminder of how far he’s come, and the feeling of freedom is overwhelming. Tears start to form, but he rubs at his eyes to keep them from falling. 

“Holy fuck,” he says on an exhale. “It’s… that’s fuckin’ me.”

The doctor smiles, and gives Mickey and Ian a rundown of scar care, and leaves the room to give the two of them a moment together.

“You did it, Mick. I am so proud of you for doing this.”

“I - fuck.”

Before he can get too overwhelmed, Mickey reaches for his shirt and carefully pulls it on, turning to Ian. He leans into him, wrapping his arms gently around Ian’s waist, burying his face into Ian’s shoulder. Ian hugs him back, rubbing up and down his back.

“C’mon, let’s go. Let’s go get you something to celebrate. I’m thinkin’ milkshakes. What do you say?”

Mickey huffs a laugh, and nods against Ian’s shoulder. 

“Yeah, let’s go.”

*****

Six months later finds Ian and Mickey at the shores of Lake Michigan, the two of them lounging in beach chairs. Ian shirtless, Mickey with an unbuttoned Hawaiian shirt (that he definitely did not steal from the laundry room in their apartment complex). Content smiles on both their faces, hands clasped together between the two chairs. Years ago this seemed unfathomable to Mickey, laying side by side with someone who’s loved him unconditionally throughout everything, who’s been by his side through thick and thin. Let alone, laying (mostly) shirtless on a beach with that same man, watching as the sun reflects on matching silver bands on their fingers. 

“Didja ever think we’d make it here?” Mickey whispers.

“Always.” Ian says with a squeeze to Mickey’s hand.

[timaeusterrored]

(Like Father Like Son)

((I feel like I’ve never actually written a father-son moment between Vax and Vik, and what better time than now? Set sometime after he starts healing from the Space Station))

Vax had always loved rooftops, ever since he was a kid. Whenever he sat up there, for once he didn’t feel so small. That maybe being up there could save him from the city trying to swallow him. Even as a kid, V was terrified of the city eating him whole, becoming a no one. Another face in a sea of nobodies.

“Y’know, I’ll never forget the first time I looked up and saw you sitting on a roof. Damn near climbed the building to get you down.”

Vax turned at the sudden voice, not expecting anyone up here. But there stood Vik, arms crossed and leaned again the door way.

“Don’t you have your own roof to go sit on or somethin’? Or did the ol’ Rockerboy finally chase you away?” Vik sat down next to V, their legs dangling over the edge. Vax noted Vik was making an effort to not look down. Not everyone could handle heights.

“Nah, he’s busy with the ‘Saka bullshit still… and his new album.” Vax tried to keep the sad tone out of his voice, but he was struggling to. And he knew Vik heard it.

“Trouble in paradise? He fuck up?”

“He’s been perfect, Vik… it ain’t that.” Vax sighed, rubbing his eyes. “I’m so fuckin’ tired… and lonely. Ker invites me to join him when he goes places… but he doesn’t need me. No one fuckin’ does. No one needs V anymore…”

Vik let that settle in, watching his son for a long moment. Was that what this was? He felt unneeded? Unwanted even?

“You’re right. I don’t need V.” Maybe that was a bad way to start because Vax chuckled like he knew something. “I need Vax. I need that spunky little fifteen year old smart ass I met damn near 15 years ago.” Holy fuck it had been 15 years already.

Vax was staring at him, as if confused by his statement. He never had been a man of words.

“Y’know… when I first brought you in, I was thinking ‘what the fuck am I doing? I can’t raise a kid. Much less a 15 year old.’ And with you glaring at me for like a month straight, I really didn’t think we were getting far. But Vax… you changed my life. When you won your first boxing match, I just yelled ‘That’s my kid! That’s my kid right there!’ I was so fucking proud of you… then that fucker took you when you were 17 and I didn’t know what the fuck to do. All I knew was that my kid was gone and no one had seen him in days… then Rogue comes to my door holding you, you’re shaking and covered in blood and smell like a fucking campfire and I don’t think I’ve ever been more relieved to see you in my life… until Arasaka took you. Losing Jackie felt like losing a son… and I kept just… hoping, praying, I dunno, everything to just get that thing out of you. For you to live.”

When Vik was mostly done because he felt he was talking nonsense, he looked at V… to find him with tears in his eyes. Oh fuck, he hadn’t meant to make him cry.

“And when you brought fucking Kerry Eurodyne home, I was like “oh hell no.” Because I’ve read some shit-“ Vik attempted to joke but Vax let out a sound that he couldn’t tell if the poor man was laughing or crying.

Vik patted his son’s back, letting him get it out. Kerry said Vax had been rather unresponsive to things, and this is probably the first time he’s cried in a while. The ripperdoc couldn’t even begin to understand what this man went through.

“Fuck… I’m sorry.” Vax sniffed, rubbing his eyes. “I’m so… I’m so tired, Vik… I know people are trying to give me space and to let me rest… but I can’t help but feel like everyone has moved on from me… even Ker and Judy don’t feel like they need me anymore… and you and Mama Welles got your own shit goin’ on-“

“Me and Guadalupe have been worried sick about you. So don’t you start pulling that shit onto me… No one has moved on from you. You spend too much time in your own head, you always have.” Vik sighed. Vax had been horrible for getting in his own head, Vik never could get him to stop. “You been talking to your therapist? And taking your meds?”

Vax nodded, and yet Vik didn’t believe him.

“My keeper isn’t letting me forget. Don’t worry.” Vax mumbled, his hands falling into his lap in defeat. Vik had no clue what to do to make this better… he didn’t read any parenting books on how to make your adult kid feel better after dying three times.

The two sat in silence after, sometimes you just needed quiet with a safe person to feel less alone. Until Vax rested his head on Vik’s shoulder.

“Thanks pops…”

Vik wrapped his arm around his son and rubbed his shoulder.

“Anytime kiddo…”

[forlix]

talking ab fallen star cos that fic consumed me when i first read it and consumed me again when i reread it earlier 🤚

firstly the way he kept his promise to bring mc to the airport it really broke me. it's so melancholic like there have been broken promises before but hyunjin wouldn't dare end their relationship on another one? you can still feel the love he has for t hemin the way he tiredly made his way to drive to their house and to the airport after he came back from his own long flight it honestly makes me insane.

i love how in the car there's this like faint and twisted idea of hope lingering between them. some part of them still longs for the other and it's right there they could just grab the very thing they yearn for but it's incomplete. it's not the same. honestly when mc mutters "idiot" it really made me think like are they calling hyunjin an idiot? or themselves an idiot? and ac i feel like they meant both of them are idiots for allowing themselves to end up in this awkward but necessary situation.

there are some unresolved feelings and unanswered questions while they sit in silence on the way to the airport, but the airport scene™️ gives them both the closure they need. they're not getting back together, no matter how much one might like, but the tension in the car shows a sliver of hope that they would and i feel like it really emanates in your writing and makes me as a reader reader hope for a happier ending as well. also the shaky "fuck" describes my feelings as i read this as well thanks btw 🥲

and this is all from my own mind but i imagine reader saw a photo or maybe got an invitation to hyun's wedding and they realize he's okay and it makes them reflect on themselves and with a heavy heart they realize theyre okay too. the worst part is there's no definitive point where they felt or "became" okay, because like you said, time is the best medicine and gradually mc just healed. but knowing that hyun is okay and has moved on kind of popped a bubble of reserved feelings and its not necessarily sad its just kind of disheartening or numbing?

idk how i started yapping sm lol i read wayyyy into this HAHAHA. i chose to analyze this instead of study for my finals ☝️🤓 but in conclusion, xian i love falling star and its yet another product of ur mindblowing sexy brain i love you so much bby and i js wanna say im so proud of you <3

when i tell u i saw this while studying (also for my finals) and it had my jaw on the floor my head in the clouds i couldn't focus for the LIFE of me afterwards. WDYM YOU WROTE ME AN ESSAY OF UR THOUGHTS ON MY WRITING? IS IT MY BIRTHDAY?? i love you so fucking much omg. thank u for sending this in my lovely star :') putting my VERY ramble-y response under the cut

"there have been broken promises before but hyunjin wouldn't dare end their relationship on another one" is soooo poignantly put and so so so correct. honestly him remembering the day and time of the flight was supposed to be a show of pettiness at first, like "you called me unreliable so here i am bitch" lmfaooo but let's be real you're right on the money with his real intentions. he was literally counting down the days until he had an excuse to see mc again.. he was also worried about the flight being so early and wanted to ensure their safety... AGGHHH not me hurting myself thinking ab this couple 😭

"when mc mutters "idiot" it really made me think like are they calling hyunjin an idiot? or themselves an idiot?" I LOVEEEE LOVE LOVE THIS? god u are a genius i adore you. i totally see this being the case. if i may add, maybe mc thinks they're an idiot because they reciprocate hyunjin's yearning even after everything that's transpired. like inward frustration that there are still feelings there? yeah. ur a genius.

about the slivers of hope after the car scene, i apologize for the lack of a happy ending love </3 the fic was definitely challenging (and saddening) but also refreshing to write. i really wanted to explore a couple that is well and truly doomed bc some of the relationships in our lives are doomed, yaknow? and you can recognize that and still have a lot of love for the person at the same time bc human beings are fucking complicated like that. but please consider this my official justification for posting something so depressing

"and this is all from my own mind but i imagine reader saw a photo or maybe got an invitation to hyun's wedding and they realize he's okay and it makes them reflect on themselves and with a heavy heart they realize theyre okay too." FUCKKKK NOT THE WEDDING PICTURE. this just made me frown irl. if i may add.....again..... what if they physically run into each other and that's how mc knows? at the start of the convo mc kinda feels the familiar stirrings again but it's more out of habit than anything. they talk for a bit and it's really pleasant and mc notices he has a ring on his finger and they realize they feel ✨ nothing ✨ about it anymore. but there's just an inkling of remorse remaining about the whole situation. like a passing thought of "maybe in a different universe we would've made things work"....haha.....fuck. BUT mc is happy hyunjin's happy, and mc is happy to have recovered, and life goes on

as for ur entire last paragraph i might actually cry, i'm so glad you love the fic and i truly do appreciate u taking the time to look into my fic this closely so so so much :'( you keep me going, I MEAN IT

[c4l4mityv4in]

The World's Favorite Star (A Bokuaka fanfic)

Chapter 1: "Take Me Out To Dinner First" Bokuto's POV

Notes:

Blessed second day of Samhain to all who celebrate (pronounced Sohwin)

I'm so proud to finally post my second fic please don t hesitate to leave kudos and a comment or more and tell me what you think of it <3

My Name is Bokuto Koutaro,

I'm a Volleyball player in my school's club and I'm currently at [Unknown name] Middle School

Our club Manager is this insanely cute boy, Akaashi Keiji, he's one year younger than me, he knows so much about Volleyball and he would've probably been a good player then too if he tried.

One time, he even told me he'd want to play alongside me in high school.

He is probably the smartest person I know, he always knows what to do whenever I'm feeling down. Today is Valentine's day and I bought the biggest bouquet of flowers for him, that shot was expensive but definitely worth it.

Akashi was known for having rejected dozens of girls and guys last Valentine's day and he tried to make it the least awkward as possible, telling girls he's not into women and telling guys he already has a crush on someone else. Every guy that was into him wanted to be that "someone else", so what made me different from the others? I was just another desperate Pansexual that fell head over heals for the most beautiful boy that ever existed. But I was his star, that's what he called me, and I'm convinced that MUST mean something. No homie calls another homie his "star" in a no homo way, no amount of saying no homo would be able to cancel the homo out of that sentence that I fear has worked on me one too many times.

I approached his classroom's open door around lunchtime, he was the only one there. But how should I do it? I had a big ass bouquet behind my back and it would be OBVIOUS what I wanted to say. And then lightning struck, I approached his desk with the flowers behind my back, put my best acting mask on and spoke up, "AKAASHI!", just saying his name gave me butterflies, "not to sound rude but you're into guys right?", my legs were shaking. I think I'm a terrible actor. He looked up at me with those beautiful blue eyes,

"Hello, Bokuto-san", if you think you're polite than you haven't met Akashi, he's the most polite person I have ever met. "I am actually, why?" I couldn't back out anymore, "So like, if I ever wanted to ask a guy out, how would I do it?" Akashi was frozen for a moment, his blue eyes looked at me and I was about to freak. The fuck. Out.

"I guess it depends on who you plan to ask out, but", he paused. "You should honestly just go for it. The worst that can happen is getting rejected", he added.

"Just go for it. Stop standing there like an idiot!" I thought to myself. I had the flowers, I had Akaashi alone. It was now or never!

I revealed the bouquet from behind my back, which was definitely visible even from behind, and out of panic I shoved the flowers in his face.

"D-Do you want to marry me?"

I had never been more embarrassed in my entire life. How did I mix up "go out with me" and

"marry me"?

Akashi started laughing, of course he did. Why would he want to go out with me? ESPECIALLY after this.

He pulled something out of his backpack and pointed it towards me, "How about a date first?" I lowered to bouquet so that I could see him, he was pointing a rose towards me. No, he was giving me a rose.

"You really wanna go out with me?", I was shocked

"I was going to ask you out today anyway, you just made it easier for me", I swear his eyes turned into literal hearts, or maybe it was my eyes that did that. "I'm not saying I don't want to marry you, just take me out to dinner first", he said nonchalantly. All I know is that he took my bouquet, I took his rose and he kissed my cheek, barely a millimeter away from my lips and that I had a date with the cutest boy in the world.

I was on cloud 9 the whole day, at practice I kept sneaking glances at Akashi and got a balli thrown at my face because of it. We decided to meet at the Valentine's Day Festival that night, Tokyo really went all out no matter the festivity, the whole thing was Love themed and there were couples everywhere. I put on my best clothes but you couldn't really tell with the jacket. Akaashi lived next to his parents' library, his parents are like, the coolest ever but that's not what we're focusing on here. He came out with a cream jacket and he had one of the roses I gave him earlier behind his hear, it had some kind of gold colored wire around the stem and his ear so it wouldn't fall out. "Good Evening, Bokuto-san", he said with a huge smile on his face, his voice was happy but shaky. "Uh-Uh...Hi! Um- so- well-", he grabbed the left side of my face and interrupted me, "Don't stress it, Bokuto-san. Take your time", he reassured me.

"You look beautiful tonight, Akaashi", I said completely flustered and looking away. His face was also pretty red.

"And you look so much like my dream husband.", he teased me again

"Oh my god! I got my words mixed up once! Will you ever let me live that down?", I asked hiding my face in my hands

"Not until you marry me", he said completely serious and smiling at me.

"Can I hold your hand?", he asked me, extended his hand and looked away.

I grabbed said hand and squeezed, "You don't even have to ask."

The Festival wasn't that far away so we decided to walk there, we were so nervous we looked like robots holding hands as we walked there.

First we got something to eat on the go, I got a Yakisoba Pan while he got a simple Melonpan.

• There were a few street performers dancing which we stopped to admire, Akashi pulled out a little notebook from his jacket pocket,

"Whatcha doin?", I asked

"Just sketching the dancer", he responded

"Looks pretty accurate", I pointed out

"Thanks! It's just a hobby but I would love to work in the art field some day", he said

"You totally should, you're really good", I said He blushed, "You're just saying that to be nice"

"No, I mean it! You have some actual talent you know?", his face got even redder but he had this adorable, dorky smile on his face, "Thank you"

On our way to the ferris wheel I won him a huge panda plush at one of those shoot the can games, which took several tries. When we got on we were both visibly nervous, this was a small cramped space we had to share, what if I said something weird and he'd get totally grossed out and we had to sit threw the awkwardness for the whole ride?

As the ride started Akashi squeezed my hand a little and lightly put his head on my shoulder and with that simple act all my anxiety faded away.

Have you ever felt so comfortable with someone where you'd wish you could be with them all the time and a moment alone with them felt like nobody else was on the planet except for you two at this exact moment? That's how life felt in that moment. And those few minutes of silence felt to me like a thousand words had just been spoken. I was actually kind of sad the moment ended when we had to get off the ferris wheel.

"You're still sleeping over right? I don't want you to walk alone this late at night", he said although it was just 10

"Yeah I'm not a fan of the dark really and I have all my stuff at your place already anyway.", after I said that I could almost see the gears turning in Akaashi's brain,

"Wanna go to the love tunnel?"

Notes:

Some things that weren't detailed here will probably be more detailed in Akashi's Pov.

So yeah you're going to have to wait for Chapter 3 for the love tunnel and sleepover.

I gotta give you a reason to come back now don't I?

Hope you liked this Chapter, Lots of Love,

Sasha <3

[ssreeder]

sreedieeeeeeeeee

hey

I’m like 2 weeks late but YKW better late than never so hush

okay ara is such a mood for hating bugs, she’s like me fr

ah fuck NOT THE SHEN FEELS AGAIN (I need like a vaccine against the shen feels bc I’m constantly attacked by them). ara is gonna be SO fucked up when she realises shen is dead. like any and all progress she makes on the journey to bss just absolutely obliterated. at the same time, however, I do think it’s probably a good thing in the long run seeing as she won’t be able to “dedicate” herself to shen like she plans and will instead actually have to heal properly

GIRLS TEA SESH OMG

fuck off katara PLEASE CAN SOMEONE TELL OUR BOYS THAT ZHAO IS DEAD

lmao suki dw sokka is very much in a relationship with a person who understands what he went through

sokka and toph hours <3

obsessed with how sokka’s train of thought goes: zukozukozukozuko toph is picking WHAT out of her toes??? zukozukozukozuko

SLAY ZUKO but also why the fuck are you out of bed you idiot BUT ALSO SLAY

yay tears!!! finally some good old healthy emotional catharsis

“You’re soaking wet!”

“It’s raining.”

I FUCKING LOVE ZUKO YOU DONT UNDERSTAND

sorry but the phrase “lone eyebrow” is actually hilarious

you heard it here first lads!! it’s only true love if you let them wipe their snot on you

I think this is the most zuko has ever spoken at once wtf??? what has gotten in to my guy

idk why sokka is surprised that zuko didn’t leave a note. that’s about the only predictable thing about him

DID JET JUST FUCKINF DIE

oh spirit water okay then

aaaand that’s where my comment ends apparently?? it’s so short this is strange

yeah anyways, brain = scrambled. I’ve had this written for like over a week now and just.. never sent it as an ask???

IN CONCLUSION yay zukkuddles :D

Leeekiiieeee broooo….

Ara is already so fucked up, what’s a little Shen death gunna do?? Huh??? send her over the edge?? hmmm?? ;) :D

HAHA, I love that the girl gossip has so much love, just wait until the future and the gossip girls recruit more members haha. XOXO. ;) (please say you get it)

Zuko learned that he could use his voice, but only with Sokka… Just wait until next chapter when Zuko pulls and Iroh and starts spewing life advice… WHO IS DISSS???? :D

Ember island players episode needed a LIAB moment (& I AM SO PROUD OF ALL PEOPLE WHO TOTALLY GOT IT hahaha)

It is so strange but that’s alright I am so late to answer everything and I am just key smashing at this point FUCKING LOVE YA LEEKIEEEE

[seraphina-liora]

I absolutely hold myself accountable for all that happened to me from 2003 till 2023 when in an online relationship with Phil, from NSW Aus.

I used to believe it was ALL his fault for the lies he told, the betrayals he put before me, the women he cheated on me with, the brutal attacks from his friends that he told lies to about my past, or even the truths that I trusted him with about my past. I used to believe I was the victim of a cheater when he left me behind to pursue women on the net and off.

I take full accountability for my pain and suffering for 20+ years of being at his beckon call 24/7. Through the chaos of Yahoo days, endless nights of helping him battle whatever demons he would scavenge for, to the nights in Zam and the days during my work schedules when he " needed " me.

I take full responsibility for those mean assed people he would send to bully me, to humiliate me, and to take away what little dignity I was left with after he would betray me.

I take full accountability for spending the money, to buy him a truck, to build him a business for when he came to the states, for buying him clothes so he would have them here when he came. I take full accountability for my running away from our home, a home I bought and paid for because he betrayed me and I didn't want to live there without him.

I take full accountability for my actions to keep him in my life...

I now take full accountability though for my own healing a lifetime of self imposed idiocy on my part. I truly believed in him, and I was stupid for thinking that he would change and I would be the One and only love he ever needed, as he had told me a bazillion times before.

I have forgiven myself for allowing my heart to torture my soul with the betrayals of one man. I have forgiven him too. Forget? Never!

I am a much better person today for finally taking that self inventory and walking away. I am successful, creative and most of all HAPPY. I have more in my life now, in this last year, than ever before. I have an abundance of friends who support me, help me, and love me. I couldn't have that with Phil. He kept me a secret, made me believe that no one should see me, he was jealous of me walking in to pay for gas at the gas station, mocked me even for the way I walked, told me I was going to attract men. He would watch from my phone cam. He once watched a man who was change my tire and yelled at him not to be looking at my ass as loud as he could, the guy never even looked at me to start with

What did I get to watch from his cam? A fucking bastard male slut that stole from my terminally ill son artwork, blow kisses at me and tell me he loved me at a Blue festival, while drunk and high, and I got to watch Phil sit down with 2 blondes and offer them a joint while his friend puckered up his nasty lips and kiss at the phone. I still have nightmares over that shit.

Do I miss Phil? Hell no! I miss the person he pretended to be, though.

It's been 411 days since I turned my back and shut that door. I am doing just fine. I still have mutual friends who see him and say he is full of venom, and fire, attacking those who stood ground with me over the artwork and his ignorant friend. Attacking a disabled friend who has been a friend for decades to both of us. Brutally and bitterly calling him on the phone to abuse him verbally when he gets a few whiskeys in him. He claims to some he is dying, yet to some he is fine. I guess it all depends on which personality they are dealing with and on what day....

As for me, I am proud of my life now. I am rocking the day away. Even have a gorgeous creative I see, whom adores me for me, and I think he is hot AF.

In our world...we bite! And if I bite it, its mine, and I've bitten more than once my Eternal One. :)

Sleep tight everyone, beware of the things that bite!

[exitpursuedbyavulcan]

This fic has legitimately broken something deep in my brain. Since you posted this, I have read it at least once a day, intending to finally do my reblog, but by the time I get to the end, I am in such a state that I have to take a lap around the house. Then, when I try to write this up, I’m like, “Hold up, I need to read again so I can call out my favorite bits,” and the cycle repeats. Over and over and over again.

So this time, I’m writing while I’m reading. It’s very stream of consciousness and not organized at all, you are warned.

Billy getting weirded out that a stranger would ask him for help picking up books hurts. Like his family made him feel so useless that he can hardly believe someone could trust him to do this one, simple thing? I’m gonna fucking fight the Washingtons I swear to GOD.

But then he immediately asks to help some more! Because a nice, pretty girl had that base-level trust in him and that alone starts healing him! Knowing that one person, even a stranger, likes him is enough for him to start getting his life together. THAT’S ALL HE NEEDED! Again, fuck the Washingtons.

“He was existing, not really living, but that suited Billy just fine.” I won’t forgive you for this one.

Ugh, the physical way he reacts to his self-consciousness and anxiety is so real! And the voices of Lana and his parents in his head are exactly how I feel when my RSD pops up. It’s kind of pathetic to relate to Billy this much, but I don’t care. I love him, daddy.

BILLY STANDING UP FOR HIS (GIRL)FRIEND AYYYYY. That took so much confidence and was such a big step forward for him oh my gosh. Even if it did get him a black eye…

Him falling in love via her reading to him is DIVINE!

FUCKING BECKY! But I’m so proud of him for shutting her down so quickly and maturely. Even if he didn’t handle his neighbor seeing her quite as well. Still, his relapse is very realistic and well done. It really does just take one little thing to wipe out weeks of progress.

Him finding the courage to go to her again and ask for help is absolutely amazing. That is the true sign of progress, where he realizes he needs both to help himself and to lean on other people if he really wants to get better.

And, of course, fantastic smut! Really the cherry on top, lol.

I loved this so much, Ange. It’s definitely going on my list of regular rereads. 💜

Laugh Like Me Again

Pairing: Billy Washington (Trigger Point) x f!reader Warnings: Angst, smut. Word count: ~7k

Summary: Billy accidentally strikes up a friendship with the girl that's just moved into the flat next door, but when faced repeatedly with the baggage of their pasts they struggle to take it any further than "just friends".

Author's note: A (belated) birthday gift for @targaryenrealnessdarling. No tag list. Follow @fics-by-ewanmitchellcrumbs and turn on post notifications.

It was a quiet Saturday afternoon. Billy sat on the sofa in the living room of his flat with the curtains closed, blocking out the midday winter sun. He’d not long gotten out of bed, barely lucid as an episode of Come Dine With Me played away to itself in the background. He stared at the TV screen, but wasn’t actually taking anything in, it may as well have stayed switched off.

A loud crash against his front door, followed by several soft thuds upon the floor outside of it, startled him out of his torpid state, the sudden noise causing him to jump slightly. Billy didn’t cope well with unexpected loudness anymore, he hadn’t for six months, not since he’d watched his car explode into a fiery wreck on Cranstead Fields. He grasped the arm of the sofa tightly, eyes wide and breathing accelerated as he looked towards the door, his heart pounding so hard in his chest he worried it might burst out of it.

It wasn’t until he heard the muffled voice of a woman swearing on the other side of the door that he finally relaxed, fear giving way to curiosity, as he rose slowly from his seat and walked towards the front door, opening it with trepidation.

There, upon the carpeted floor, knelt a young woman, a collapsed cardboard box discarded to the side of her, as she scrambled to pick up books that were strewn across the communal hallway floor.

“You alright?” he asked tentatively, watching as she huffed, attempting to gather the books into a tidy pile.

“Give me a hand, would you?” she asked distractedly, not looking up at him. “Fucking box was too heavy and the bottom gave way.”

He hesitated a moment, taken aback by her request. Nobody ever asked Billy for help, nobody ever asked him for anything really, he wasn’t usually a person that anyone felt they could depend upon, yet here was a complete stranger trusting him to come to her aid.

Finally, he stooped down, picking up as many books as he could manage to carry. His eyes skimmed the covers, taking in the authors’ names; Stephen King, Terry Pratchett, Tanith Lee – he’d read none of them. He had never been much of a reader though; the last book he had touched had been Of Mice and Men for GCSE English. Billy hadn’t understood it, and the F grade he’d gotten had reflected that.

He adjusted the heavy load in his arms, standing awkwardly, as she finally righted herself, the remainder of her books cradled against her chest.

Fuck, she’s gorgeous.

“So, erm, where we taking these then?” he asked.

“Just next door,” she replied, glancing over her shoulder at him as she walked the short distance to the front door next to his. “We’re gonna be neighbours.”

Billy followed close behind. The flat next to his had sat empty for months. It had been nice not to have to worry about the odd hours he kept, or how loud he had his TV.

Oh god, had she been able to hear him watching trash telly through the wall?

Her front door had been left on the latch, and he watched as she gently nudged it open with her foot and began to place the books in her arms down upon the floor, off to the side of the doorway. Once her arms were empty, she gestured for him to pass her the ones that he was holding and then did the same with those.

“D’you want help shifting anything else?” he asked, stuffing his hands into the pockets of his grey jogging bottoms once he’d passed her the last of the books.

She straightened, turning to face him as she wiped her hands on her blue jeans. She really was stunning. Her hair was pulled away from her face in a high ponytail, leaving her features open and unobscured, and despite the casualness of her oversized jumper and jeans, she carried herself with a self assuredness that, to Billy, made it seem like the sexiest outfit in the world. He was immediately self conscious of his own scruffiness at that moment. He hadn’t looked in a mirror since waking up, but he knew he needed a shower and a shave. A giant stain from last night’s Pot Noodle emblazoned the chest of his black t-shirt, the very same t-shirt that he’d worn all day yesterday and then slept in. It was suddenly difficult to look her in the eye.

“That was the last of the boxes from that carload, actually,,” she said with a soft smile. “I can only fit so much in my shitty Fiat Panda, so having to make a fair few trips. Thank you for helping me though, and sorry for chucking books at your front door.”

Billy huffed softly through his nose, the corners of his mouth tugging upwards as he rubbed nervously at the back of his neck. “Don’t mention it.”

She pulled the door closed and locked it. “Well, it was nice to meet you,” she smiled, giving him her name, “and what should I call you?”

“I’m Billy,” he told her, his tone almost apologetic.

“Well, see you around, Billy.”

He watched her retreat down the hallway, until she disappeared through the door to the stairwell. He really hoped he would see her again, if anything just so he could prove to her that he was capable of not looking like an absolute slob.

Billy headed straight for the bathroom once he was back inside his own flat, not emerging until he’d showered, washed his hair, brushed his teeth, shaved and changed into clean clothes. It all felt like an effort, everything did these days. Piecing his life back together in the months that had followed his car being blown up had been difficult. It had been hard to come to terms with the idea that he had been radicalised by a terrorist group, impossible to make peace with the fact that he’d survived the explosion designed to kill him. His older sister, Lana, had nagged at him to go to therapy, to work through the trauma of what had happened, but therapy was expensive and he needed to keep a roof over his head, especially since Becky had split up with him and moved back to her mum’s. He had managed to get a job behind the bar of a local pub – the hours were shit and the pay wasn’t much better, but it made him feel useful, especially when it came to the manual aspects such as changing barrels and taking deliveries of crates of mixers and spirits. Each shift left him too exhausted to think about all he’d been through. He was existing, not really living, but that suited Billy just fine.

As the sky outside darkened into the purgatory that exists between late afternoon and early evening, his stomach began to rumble and he realised he hadn’t eaten yet today. Pulling open the fridge, Billy sighed at the bare shelves within. A half used bottle of ketchup lay on its side, a red puddle of sauce gathering beneath its lid, while the dregs of a carton of milk that was already two days past its use by date occupied the space in the door.

Fuck’s sake, he muttered to himself, stepping into his trainers and pulling on his coat, preparing for a trip out into the cold to buy groceries. A soft knock caused him to pause as he was zipping up his coat, and he tugged the door open, eyebrows raising slightly in surprise at the sight of his neighbour standing on the other side. He hadn’t anticipated seeing her again so soon, but he was glad he was in a better state than he was on their first encounter.

“Sorry, me again,” she said, raising her hand in a slight wave. “You’re probably sick of me asking for help, but I’ve unpacked my kettle and was gonna make a brew, but realised I’ve not got any milk. Don’t suppose you could lend me some?”

Billy couldn’t help but grin as he looked down at her, clearly amused by her question. “I thought people only did that in films,” he admitted. “I was actually just on my way out to buy some, if you wanna come? I can show you where the Tesco Express is.”

“Yeah, that’d be nice, actually,” she said, her face lighting up as she smiled brightly, “let me just grab my jacket.”

It was bitterly cold as they walked, the frigid air nippled relentlessly at Billy’s fingers, causing him to put his hands in his coat pockets to keep them warm. The street lamps were starting to come on as the sky turned a blue so dark it was almost black, and the continuous shine of the headlights of passing cars, coupled with the hum of their engines felt almost oppressive. He looked to her, seeking distraction. Billy worried that she might be cold; she’d only put on a leather jacket over the top of her jumper, though she had paired it with a massive, woolen scarf that she kept her face buried in up to her nose. 

“You all moved in now then?” he asked.

“Yeah, all my stuff’s in the flat now,” she replied, lifting her face from her scarf to look up at him, “just need to unpack it.”

Billy nodded, rounding a corner to the street that would lead them to the nearest Tesco. “So, what brings you to this neck of the woods then?”

“Had to leave my last place pretty sharpish,” she told him, “needed somewhere that was furnished and available straight away. This was the closest available to where I work.”

Her eye contact was avoidant as she explained this, seeming to retreat into herself. They were almost at the Tesco anyway, and Billy didn’t want to push a topic she was clearly uncomfortable talking about, so they walked the rest of the way in silence.

Billy grabbed milk, chocolate covered digestives and a couple of frozen pizzas, while she did a larger shop of essentials she didn’t have at her flat. As he watched her scan bread, eggs, milk and fresh fruit and vegetables through the self checkout, he couldn’t help but feel embarrassed by the junk food within his own basket. She had done a proper grown up’s shop, his own was the furthest thing from that.

“Let me make you a cuppa, to say thanks for everything today,” she offered as they stepped back into the warmth of their block of flats.

“Alright, sounds good,” Billy nodded, following her through her door.

Her living room was a sea of cardboard boxes, with barely any room to stand, let alone to sit down to drink tea.

“I know the cups are in here somewhere,” she said, setting down her shopping bags and beginning to open a box marked ‘KITCHEN’,

“Tell you what,” Billy suggested, “let’s go to mine for a tea. You can owe me one once you’re unpacked.”

Her eyes softened in gratitude as she looked up from the box at him, and it made warmth spread through his chest that rose all the way to his cheeks. He had to look away for fear she’d notice.

“That would be lovely. Thank you, Billy.”

He regretted his offer almost as soon as they stepped into his flat. Billy had never been tidy, if he hadn’t realised it himself, then the countless times that Lana had visited and nagged at him for it had certainly driven the message home.

You know, you can tidy up, Billy.

You’re allowed to open the curtains.

When was the last time you washed up?

It was easy to ignore when it was his own sister's passing comments, however, with a pretty girl by his side, it was as though he was looking at his living space through a fresh set of eyes, and he hated what he saw.

“Sorry…” he muttered, shame settling over him like a weighted blanket as he looked at the array of empty beer cans and crisp packets that were strewn across the coffee table.

She huffed an easy laugh as she followed him through to the kitchen. “Honestly, it’s fine. It’s not like you were expecting company, and you shouldn’t feel the need to apologise for how you keep your own space.”

He turned to stare at her, his brow furrowed in confusion at her lack of disgust. There was sincerity in her eyes, she wasn’t just being nice, she meant it. Her reaction eased his embarrassment somewhat, until he opened the cupboard to find he had no clean mugs.

“D’you live alone then?” she asked as he flicked on the kettle.

“Was it that obvious?” he replied with a grin, fishing two mugs out of the full sink. He busied himself with rinsing them out, while she leaned her back against the kitchen side, watching him.

She laughed at his response, and he couldn’t help but smile to himself as he scraped off the plate of used tea bags into the almost overflowing bin. It had been a long time since there had been laughter in his flat.

“So, what do you do for work then?” he asked, once they’d settled on the sofa with their teas. Billy had discarded his dirty washing to make space for her to sit next to him, and cleared the table so they could set down their mugs, alongside the packet of chocolate digestives he’d bought.

“I’m the social media manager for a publishing company,” she told him, before helping herself to a biscuit from the open packet and taking a bite.

Billy didn’t think he’d ever heard anything so daft in his entire life. He took a swig of his tea in an attempt to hide the way his features twisted in disdain. “So…er…do you just sit on Facebook all day then?”

She covered her lips with her hand as she giggled around a mouthful of biscuit. “That’s a bit of an oversimplification,” she said once she’d swallowed, “there’s a lot more to it than that.”

“Yeah, I s’pose there’s Twitter and Instagram too,” he said with a playful cock of his eyebrow.

“Oh, fuck off!” she grinned, swatting playfully at his leg.

Billy adored how easy he found being in her company, he had anticipated them not having much in common when he’d helped her to pick up her books earlier, but was now finding he hadn’t been this relaxed around anyone in a long time.

“So, what do you do then?”

The question made him tense, all sense of relaxation leaving his body as the familiar feeling of shame found its home within his body once more. His gaze drifted down to the mug that he held cradled in his hands as he spoke, feeling the need to justify his answer, and terrified she’d judge him for it. “I…erm…I work at The Joiners. It’s a pub not too far from here. It’s just temporary though, until I find something else.”

“What would you rather be doing?” she asked, before sipping her tea.

Billy blinked, stunned by the genuine interest in her tone. He was used to ‘you aren’t trying hard enough, Billy’ or ‘there’s always an excuse not to’. No one had ever bothered to take the time to ask him what he actually wanted.

“I dunno,” he admitted, lifting his eyes to meet hers, “I applied to join the army a couple of times, and kept getting rejected. Not sure what else I could do, I just wanna feel useful y’know? Work with my hands.”

She nodded in understanding, shifting to sit cross legged on the sofa as she faced him fully. “So, like manual labour?”

“Yeah, I s’pose. Bricklaying or something, would be cool to have a trade.”

“Then why don’t you?”

He sighed, leaning forward to put his half empty mug on the coffee table, before settling back against the sofa cushions. “Not that simple, is it? I’ve got no experience, I can’t just rock up to a building site and ask for a job.”

“No, but you can train,” she said, leaning towards him, her eyes lit up with enthusiasm, “there are vocational colleges that have two year courses for that sort of thing, and it would fit in perfectly around your bar work.”

“I wouldn’t know where to start,” he admitted, raking a hand through his hair.

“Well, that’s why it’s good you’ve now got a friend that sits on Facebook all day for a living,” she said with a playful wink, “because I do. Let me help you.”

Let me help you.

The simplicity of those four little words made Billy’s heart soar, the warmth of his smile lit up his entire face as he nodded at her. “Alright then.”

“Good,” she smiled softly, before gesturing towards his Playstation. “Got any two player games?”

She had utterly destroyed him at several rounds of Street Fighter, before all too quickly they had to call it a night. Billy went to bed happier than he’d felt in ages, never more grateful for someone having chucked books at his front door by accident.

When he woke the next morning, he was surprised when he looked at his phone to see that it was before midday – 9am, to be exact. Billy never got up that early, yet he found himself slipping out of bed with ease and, for the first time since Becky had left, he opened the curtains.

Letting light into the flat felt like opening up a new chapter of his life, but also it highlighted just how much of a shit state he’d allowed the place to get into. He busied himself that morning, clearing rubbish off of every surface, washing up, wiping down the sides, emptying the bin, and filling the washing machine with dirty laundry. He even hoovered the floors and cleaned the bathroom – neither one a job he had undertaken since moving in. It filled him with pride to think that the next time his new friend visited, she’d see his place clean and tidy.

By the time Billy finished cleaning the flat, it was almost time for him to leave for his afternoon shift at The Joiners. As he stepped out of his flat, he noticed a luminous pink post-it note stuck to his door.

‘IOU one cup of tea’ it read, with a smiley face next to it and the link to a vocational college’s bricklaying course scribbled beneath it. Billy smiled to himself, plucking it from the door and stuffing it into his pocket, before making his way to work.

A few days went by and Billy didn’t see or hear anything more from her. While he wondered about her, he figured it wouldn’t be unusual for them not to cross paths – they kept completely different hours – she worked a Monday to Friday nine to five, while he worked a combination of late afternoon and evening shifts at the pub.

It was a late afternoon shift he was returning from that evening when he heard raised voices coming from her flat. They were muffled from behind the door, but he could hear the distinctive anger of a deep male voice, and her softer one in response. She sounded upset.

Billy paused, his key lifted halfway to the lock, as her front door flew open.

“Just get out!” she sobbed, “I don’t want you here!”

She shoved desperately at a man that was slightly shorter than he was, but of a much sturdier build. He moved clumsily out of her flat, righting himself against the wall as he stared her down with fury in his eyes. “You can’t leave me,” he seethed, “who else would want you? You’re damaged goods!”

Billy’s anger flared as he heard that. That stupid cunt had no idea what he was talking about, and certainly had no right to say that to her. He shoved his keys back into the pocket of his jeans, and stalked over to where the bloke stood against the wall.

“Don’t speak to her like that,” he glowered, staring intensely at the man before him.

“Billy, don’t–”

“Who’s this then?” the guy scoffed in amusement, cutting her off. His gaze moved between her and Billy. “You moved on already? You lying bitch!”

“I said, don’t speak to her like that!” Billy snarled, grabbing him by his jacket.

“Liam, no!”

Her shout of protest came too late. The impact of the fist against Billy’s face whipped his head to the side, the inertia knocking him off his feet as he landed heavily on the carpet with a shocked expulsion of air.

Liam stepped over Billy, walking away towards the stairwell, leaving him to cradle the side of his face as he lay on the floor, a dull pulse of pain throbbing against his cheekbone and spreading out across his eye socket.

“Oh god, Billy, I’m so sorry,” she cried, kneeling beside him and placing a gentle hand on his shoulder, “are you okay?”

A few minutes later, he sat in an armchair in her flat, with a bag of frozen peas clutched against the side of his face. The eye that wasn’t obscured by the makeshift medical aid took in her living room. She’d unpacked. The shelves were filled with books, the sofa adorned with colourful throw blankets and cushions, and she’d placed plants and candles on almost every surface. It was cozy, it felt like a home.

“Thought you might want something a bit stronger than tea,” she said, appearing from the kitchen with two open bottles of beer in her hands. She handed one to Billy, before moving to sit on the end of the sofa that was nearest the armchair that he currently occupied.

“Thanks,” Billy said, offering her a tight smile, “for the beer, and the peas.”

Her brows arched in concern, her eyes still red rimmed from crying as she looked at him. “I really am sorry. You didn’t deserve that.”

“Not you that needs to apologise,” he told her, pulling the peas away from his face as he took a swig of his beer. “Who was that prick anyway?”

She sighed, her eyes downcast as her thumbs picked anxiously at the Birra Moretti label on her bottle. “My ex, Liam. We didn’t exactly part on good terms.”

“Yeah, no shit,” Billy huffed in mild amusement, placing the bag of peas on the table in front of him.

“You’re gonna have a bruise,” she said, her tone apologetic.

“I’ve had worse,” he replied with a shrug, “are you alright?”

“I will be…” - she drank deeply from her beer - “was stupid of me to tell him he could come round anyway. He said he was gonna drop off a few things I’d left behind and I was gullible enough to think it wouldn’t end in an argument.”

Billy longed to comfort her. He’d only known her a week though, and they’d only hung out once, he wasn’t sure how she’d take it if he just pulled her into a hug. His heart ached for her, yet at the same time his own selfish jealousy flared within him, wanting to know precisely what had led to their split, to know if Liam was still a part of her life.

“So, what happened between you two…if you don’t mind me asking?”

“Caught him in bed with someone else,” she sniffed, wiping at her eyes with the back of her hand, “Liam had always had a bit of a wandering eye, but I never thought it would amount to anything serious. It did, so I found this place and moved out as quickly as I could. As you saw, he’s not enjoying dealing with the consequences of his own actions.”

“You think he’ll come back?”

“I dunno,” she shrugged, “I wouldn’t put it past him.”

Billy furrowed his brow, growing pensive for a moment, before an idea occurred to him. “Give me your phone,” he said, holding his hand out.

“What? Why?”

“I’m gonna put my number in it. If he comes back, I want you to ring me okay?”

“So he can deck you again?”

Billy rolled his eyes. “He caught me by surprise, is all. I’ll be ready next time.”

He knew he was lying. Billy had never been a fighter, physical strength just wasn’t a skill he possessed, it was part of the reason the army had rejected him twice. Still, as he entered his number into the contacts of her phone, he knew he’d feel better just knowing he could be there for her.

She never texted him, though over the next couple of weeks they spent every evening that Billy wasn’t working together. At his place, they played Street Fighter and he imposed a rule that she wasn’t allowed to choose Chun Li as her character, as her knowledge of her special moves put her at an unfair advantage. When they were at hers, she read aloud to him from a copy of The Shining by Stephen King – a chapter for each visit. Billy had never enjoyed books, until now; the story was engaging, and not just because of Jack Torrence’s slow descent into madness. Her voice made every word more captivating and he found himself disappointed when each part drew to a close.

He was coming towards the end of an afternoon shift when his phone vibrated in his pocket – a text from an unknown number.

‘Hi stranger. Got a surprise for you back at the flat xxx’

His heart skipped a beat, his pulse racing as he realised it was from her. She’d never text him before, which is why her number wasn’t saved. He wondered what she could possibly have in store for him, and the rest of the afternoon felt as though time had ground to a halt as he waited impatiently to go home.

He frowned as he heard music playing softly from his flat as he arrived back – how had she gotten in? She didn’t have a key.

Opening the door, the music grew louder – some 90s R&B song that he didn’t know that name of, and there were lit candles on the coffee table in the living room.

“H–hello?” he called out, struggling to keep the anxious tremor from his voice.

“In here,” a voice replied from the bedroom.

He froze at the sound of it. He knew that voice. It filled him with a sense of dread, and for a moment, he considered simply turning and leaving.

Slowly, he made his way to the bedroom, pausing in the doorway. The sight within formed a pit in his stomach. His ex, Becky, lay provocatively on her side, her curves encased in lacy black lingerie, as she looked at him with a sultry smile upon her lips. Six months ago, he’d have been a goner for the display before him, now it made bile rise in his throat.

“Hiya, gorgeous,” she cooed, “I’ve missed you.”

His lips set into a hard line as he looked away, annoyance in his tone. “Becky, what the fuck are you playing at? How did you even get in?”

“I wanted to see you,” she said, pouting as she slipped off the bed to move towards him, “and I’ve still got my key.”

Realisation set in – the text had been from her. On the advice of Lana, he had deleted Becky’s number when they’d split for good, a means of avoiding the temptation to reach out to her. It had helped a lot in the process of getting over her. But it was now apparent that she had kept his.

He backed away from her as she reached for him, his face hardened in an expression of disgust and anger as he clenched his fists at his sides. His nostrils flared as he battled to keep his voice from raising. “Well, you can give your fucking key back when you leave. I don’t want you here.”

“You can’t be serious?” she scoffed, “You are rejecting me?”

He stared at her, unable to believe that this was a person who he had once mourned the loss of – he felt nothing but irritation seeing her now, a desperate need to be rid of her. “I am, yeah. You bailed when things fell apart. I don’t need you hanging around like a bad smell now that they’re finally piecing back together. Get out.”

“You’ll regret this, Billy,” she said angrily, her movements erratic and hurried as she snatched her tan coloured trench coat from the floor and belted it around herself, “you won’t do better than me.”

“I think I already have. Keys,” he demanded, holding his hand out.

She pulled them hastily from her pocket, chucking them towards him, before barging past him and out of the flat. Billy followed, watching her leave. She paused once in the hallway, looking to her right and smiling, before turning her attention back to him.

“Bye then, Billy,” she said, her tone saccharinely sweet. She blew him a kiss and then sauntered away.

His brow furrowed in confusion at the sudden change in her behaviour, until he looked to the left and saw his neighbour standing in the hallway, her copy of The Shining clutched to her chest. Her eyes were wide, a look of shock upon her face, though Billy was certain he could also see something akin to hurt reflected in their depths.

“Oh,” was all she uttered, before hurrying back inside and slamming her door behind her.

No. No. No. No. No.

“Fuck!” he cursed under his breath, slamming his hand against the doorframe in frustration.

Billy’s heart felt as though it was dropping endlessly through his body. Every part of him screamed at him to go after her, to explain to her what had happened, to reassure that what they had was – what?

The more he thought about it, the more he realised he didn’t quite know what was occurring between them. It would be weird for him to show up at her door and explain all of that away, under the assumption that she’d care. Perhaps he’d misread the situation, but as he retreated back into his flat he couldn’t shake the heavy burden of misery that settled upon him. There was a lingering sense of loss, a feeling that he had just allowed something important to slip through his fingers.

Billy fell back into a state of miserable, lifeless existence over the following week. There were no further hangouts with his neighbour, and he ached with the sensation of missing her. The flat grew messier with each passing day, but he found himself not caring, trapped in his own cowardice of not being able to simply reach out to her. All it would take was a knock at her door, but it felt too big, too scary. The curtains had closed around his world once more.

As he stuffed his hands into his coat pockets on his way to work one afternoon, his fingers brushed against a slip of paper. Fishing it out, he saw that it was the pink post-it note she had left on his door the morning after they’d first met. He smiled faintly at the memory, though his heart twinged with sadness. He looked at the URL scrawled at the bottom – he had forgotten about it until now.

During a lull between customers at the pub, Billy disappeared around the corner of the bar, pulling his phone free from his jeans pocket and hastily typed the link from the note into the browser. It led to the page to register for an open evening at a local vocational college. He’d left it so long to check it out, that the day was now only a week away. For a moment, he considered simply locking his phone again and forgetting about it. It was overwhelming, the unknown, the possibility for failure, but something niggled at the back of his mind – the memory of how enthusiastically she’d offered to help him out – he owed it to her to register. Before he had time to convince himself otherwise, he input his details, hit submit and then pocketed his phone once more.

As he worked the rest of his shift, his mind was preoccupied by thoughts of the open evening. What if they told him he was too stupid, laughed at him for even considering applying to any of the courses and told him he was useless?

He realised he needed someone there with him, otherwise he wouldn’t go at all. For a moment, he considered asking Lana, but that would put too much pressure on the situation – she’d ask too many demanding questions, expect him to know straight away what course he wanted to apply to, and then feed it all back to their parents. That was the absolute last thing he needed; nagging from mum and disapproval from dad. He wanted her there with him, the person who had started all of this in the first place. She made him feel supported and inspired, and the thought of having her by his side made it seem less overwhelming. The question was, would she even want to come?

Once he finished work, he found himself outside of her flat, fist raised to the door, but not quite able to knock. In the time they hadn’t spoken, their friendship had existed in limbo to Billy – it either was or it wasn’t, but there was still the hope to cling to that she did still think fondly of him. He hated the idea of knocking on her door and her reacting negatively, telling him to get lost. It would add a sense of finality to it all, confirm once and for all that he was alone again.

Fucking idiot, just knock, he muttered to himself, before finally rapping his knuckles against the wood.

He heard her soft footsteps on the other side of the door before she opened it and for a moment Billy just stood there, lips parted and unable to say anything as his entire body surged with warmth at the sight of her. Her hair was loose, tousled around her shoulders, and she was wearing an oversized white t-shirt and pyjama shorts – it looked as though she was ready for bed.

Her eyes widened slightly at the sight of him, obviously not expecting to see him. “Everything okay?” she asked, a tinge of concern colouring her tone.

It was then Billy realised he hadn’t said anything, had just been gawping at her like a creep. He lowered his gaze, swallowing thickly as embarrassment made his cheeks blaze. “S–sorry…yeah…I erm…I registered for that open evening at the college you mentioned.”

“Oh…oh, right,” she said slowly, nodding as she wrapped her arms around herself, “that’s good…that’s really good.”

“It’s next week,” he told her, finally looking up to meet her gaze, “I wondered if you wouldn’t mind coming with me…if…if you’re not busy?”

She chewed her lip anxiously for a moment before replying. “Isn’t that something you’d want your girlfriend to go with you to?”

Billy sighed in frustration, pinching the bridge of his nose. He knew exactly what she was referring to. Of course that was what she had thought. Fucking Becky.

“She’s not my girlfriend,” he admitted, “I mean…she was, but she hasn’t been for a long time.”

“What was she doing at your place then?”

Billy fought the urge to smile at the imploring look upon her face as she asked that question. She was jealous, and it made his stomach flip to know she still liked him enough to feel that way.

“Can I come in before I answer that?”

She gave a slight nod, stepping aside to let him in before closing the door behind them. They both took a seat on the sofa, and Billy felt a part of himself grow lighter as he was once more immersed in the familiarity of her flat. It felt like just as much of a home to him as his own place did.

Billy turned the upper portion of his body to face her, watching as she placed a cushion in her lap to cover her bare legs as her shorts rode up her bare thighs. The sight made his throat run dry, and he had to wet his lips before he spoke, to remind himself why he was actually here.

“Her name’s Becky,” he began, “we split up about six months ago. She left me when my life had gone to shit – that’s something I wanna tell you about one day, once I’m ready. I want you to know. But yeah, she came round, wanting to rekindle something, I guess. I chucked her out, and that’s the end of it.”

Billy watched her, eager for her to say something, anything, as she stared pensively at the cushion she held in her lap, her fingers idly stroking its edges. “I suppose it’s not my place to be upset, considering my ex decked you,” she finally said, her voice quiet, “and really, it’s none of my business–”

“But I want it to be your business,” he interrupted, “I don’t want anyone thinking I’m still with her, especially not you!”

His eyes were wide as he stared at her, hoping that she could see he was being sincere. She said nothing as she stared back, though her posture softened, becoming less defensive.

Billy wasn’t sure who moved first, but he hoisted her into his lap as their lips connected, weeks of pent up tension melting away as their mouths moved with urgency. His tongue licked against hers, messy and desperate, as he hands caressed and squeezed every part of her body his hands could reach. She was soft, so soft, and she felt right against him. He cock stirred to life, hardening in his jeans with embarrassing quickness.

When they broke for air, both panting softly, she pulled her head back as he tried to kiss her again.

“What is it?” he asked, stroking his hands up and down her sides in a soothing gesture. She hadn’t moved off of his lap and didn’t look disgusted by what had happened, much to Billy’s relief.

“I just…maybe it’s too much, too quickly?” she whispered, “We’ve both got so much baggage, I don’t want to lose you if this doesn’t work out.”

Billy shook his head, giving her hips a gentle squeeze. “I get it, I do. But why write it off before we’ve even given it a chance? I’m sick and tired of waiting for my life to start, tired of acting like we’re just mates. Can we just…”

He threaded his fingers into her messy hair, guiding her lips back to his. This time she didn’t pull away, she kissed back eagerly, only stopping to tug her t-shirt up and over her head, chucking it to the side as she straddled his lap. 

Fuck, she was gorgeous.

His hands trailed up her bare torso, tentatively palming her breasts, feeling their weight and softness in his palms. When she lifted off of his lap to tug down her pyjama shorts, she giggled as she watched him struggle with the button and zipper of his jeans. God, he loved her laugh, he’d missed that sound. He pulled her back onto his lap with a lazy grin, his eyes screwing shut as a groan escaped him. The feeling of her wet folds stroking across the head of his hardened cock sent shockwaves of pleasure shooting all the way up his spine, making him feel light headed.

“Go slow,” he pleaded, as she sank down onto him, enveloping him in her tight heat. He knew it would be over all too soon if she continued to make him feel like this. His balls were already drawing up tight against his body.

“Thought you were tired of going slow,” she teased with an experimental roll of her hips.

“Fucking hell,” he gritted out, burying his face in the crook of her neck as she rode him. Each rock of her hips made his entire body tense and tremble. The slap of their flesh meeting punctuated every undulation of her hips, combined with their soft pants and moans.

“You have to stop,” he whimpered, as the telltale build of pressure at the base of his spine signalled his end, “I’m gonna–”

“It’s okay,” she whispered, tugging at the hair at the base of his neck to prompt him to look up into her eyes, “let go for me.”

Billy stilled, holding her hips in a grip so hard he was certain he’d leave bruises as his vision turned white, his mind going blank as his cock pulsated and spilled inside of her. The sensation made his entire body shudder, his thoughts not returning until the last of the tremors had subsided.

“Fuck…fuck…” he panted, brushing his hair away from his forehead as he looked up at her, “I’m sorry, you didn’t–”

“It’s fine,” she reassured him, pecking his lips gently with hers, “you’re not getting away with doing this just once tonight.”

A grin spread across Billy’s face. He was no longer a bystander in his own life, and he had her to thank for that.

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More Billy fics

[freakshow-entries]

what more can I do?

this would be more of a venting post, which I haven't done in a long time. it's been hard trying to make decisions for my future when I don't know what I want to do. I truly feel like I'm stuck in quicksand and everyone and everything around me is moving so fast. like those sped-up edited videos you see on the internet. lately, I have been feeling like I am not able to take a breather. I am constantly gasping for a breath of fresh air but the more I try to fight for my survival, I feel like I'm drowning. and then there is the guilt, the big guilt of it all, that I am undeserving of my partner's love. don't get me wrong, he is the most patient, kind, compassionate, and understanding partner. but I fear that I will drive him away with my never-ending stress of life. I do however communicate with him about my emotions, he makes me feel so safe and calm. everything is slowed down and the rambling thoughts from my mind finally turn to dust. how can I be better for him? I want to be better for OUR peace of mind. I thought I was doing better, I even got to answer 'No' to the depression questionnaire from the doctor. I was so proud of myself. I have to remember that healing is not a linear thing. It has it's ups and down, and it freaking sucks. I often think about what could I have done differently so I wouldn't be this fucked up in the head. The worst curse I could possibly have is being aware of what is wrong with me but still feeling so mentally ill about it. I feel so weak-minded. I feel like I could snap myself out of this before it's too late. but how does one know whenever it's too late? I miss going to school, I want to go back to college. I want to accomplish something for MYSELF. I want to be able to be proud of myself. and I wish I had the financial ability to help me with that, I am struggling with that so much but I don't tell anyone because it is MY mess to clean up. I wish I was able to help my family with money issues too. My family is also going through a crisis that I wish I could help, as an older sister I feel so much responsibility to them. and even in that, I'm failing to do so. I am so tired of working. I give my 110% and it feels like I get nothing in return, but to everyone else, I'm supposedly doing "so good". I am exhausted and close to passing out from overworking myself. I can't quit my job because that would mean giving up my management position and starting over with pay and benefits. Sometimes I can't believe this is the life I'm living. I feel so ungrateful for this, many people would love to be in my position and have my "struggles". But how can I stay happy? WHAT ELSE IS THERE FOR ME? WHAT MORE CAN I DO?????? please I just want to be happy. I deserve to be happy too. I deserve to live freely without a care in the world. Why am I like this.

[harryhandstan]

lindseyyyyyy

SUPER BELATED HAPPY BIRTHDAY!!!! 🎉🎉🎉🎊🎊🎊🧁🧁🧁🧁🧁😽😽🥳🥳🥳🥳

(im sorry that was super late)

its crazy how fast a year goes by. i hope youre doing better now after the accident :(( what happened?? you dont have to answer if u dont want to ofc!!

i honestly have no words. im sorry you had to go through all that :(( i wish i could take away the pain ❤️‍🩹❤️‍🩹

i am soooo happy and excited for you! you and your family deserve to live a peaceful life!! i honestly have no idea what its like in georgia but i hope you find somewhere safe!! maybe you could try to find a remote job if you wanted to stay in the area?? and honestly f*** your dad. you don’t deserve any kind of negativity im so proud of u for sticking up for yourself and your family!

ive got one year left!!! and it’s finally over!! school’s been ehh. its still difficult for me to make new friends but i’ll get over it. i got nosebleeds to see taylor 😭😭 but its still better than nothing & thank u!!

PLEASE tell me about stevie nicks and your roadtrip!! i cant wait to hear about it

im soooo proud of u!! im always here for u and im always wishing you the best! 🩷🩷🩷🩷🩷🩷youuuu

-🧸

ahh thank you baby!!! no it's okay I didn't make a big deal about my birthday this year so it's fine 😊 it was the day after we got back from our road trip and I stayed with my sister for a few days and just hung out with her! she got me some cute lil harry coded fruit hair clips and made me dinner and we had cake and ice cream and watched a movie with her roommate!

oh no I don't mind saying what happened! I honestly thought I had already said, I'm sorry! my mom and I were leaving to go grocery shopping and I got kicked by a horse. I am doing better I've made a TON of progress but still feel like I have a long way to go. like doing simple things still takes a lot of my energy sometimes! like I said I was supposed to start a new job working at a daycare as a lead teacher and I think I'm gonna have to give that up now, because I can't imagine being able to work a full shift doing something like that 😔 which just kind of makes me feel lost rn as to what to do for income because I so had my heart set on working there!

thank you thank you for all the love, I'm sitting here with tears in my eyes as I type this because it means so much coming from you! you'll never know how much I appreciate it ❤ it was honestly one of the most insane experiences I've ever had to go through, but as horrific as it was I feel like it's helped me appreciate life a lot more than I did before and realize the impact I have on people and how important I am to them! like my little brother said he cried when he found out and he's just not someone who shows his emotions a lot so it made me very 🥺🥺

I'm so sooooo excited for a new place like I'm already looking at things for my room and I'm looking forward to being able to put up so many harry related things and the big nakey™ poster that all the other harries have and like I said just a nice, clean, peaceful place I can heal and grow in!! and honestly we're in an area of GA that's superrr rural there's literally nothing here lol. I think we're gonna try to get an apartment in the same place where my little sister lives though so that would be perfect! I already feel at home there when I stay and it's a good little area. I probably will have to end up either getting back into selling crafty things or a remote job until I can build up my stamina again to be able to do more and get an in-person job!

yeah fuck phil all my homies hate phil!! he's done nothing but cause us trauma and stress and we'll all be better off away from him. thank you for your pride in me!!! it's never been easy for me to speak up for myself so I'm surprised I've been able to so much with him. he and I had a confrontation in 2021 where he just flat out asked me what was wrong and why I was upset with him and when I told him he basically gaslit me and in the end when I was standing in front of him crying after pouring my heart out, I was told “it’s been that way for a long time, you just need to get over it 🤷🏼‍♂️” so that’s what I’m gonna do, move out and get over it!!

ahhhh only a year left that’s amazing!! my heart is so full of pride for you I know how much hard work it takes to do that and it’s not easy. I hope you treat yourself when it’s all over to a big fat gift or some other sort of treat!! you deserve it 🫶🏻 and nosebleeds for taylor is okay!! I went to see her on the Red tour and we were in nosebleeds and it was still an amazing show. be careful and have a great time!

seeing stevie live was magical like I cannot even describe the good energy I felt while being there ✨ it was my first big outing after my accident and we had seats so I was able to sit down when I needed to (which was a lot more than I wanted to but it’s okay).

our road trip was only a few hours away but it was to see my little brother who we hadn’t see since december of 2021! we spent 4 days there and didn’t get to do a lot, but it was still great to visit him and his girlfriend. we hung out by the pool, ate at some cute little restaurants, saw the new little mermaid movie, and did some shopping 😊

again I’ll never be able to thank you enough for your pride in me!! I’m always here if you need me or whenever you wanna stop by to hear me ramble lol

all my love to you!!! 🩷🩵🩷🩵

[c4l4mityv4in]

The World's Favorite Star (A Bokuaka fanfic)

Chapter 1: "Take Me Out To Dinner First" Bokuto's POV

Notes:

Blessed second day of Samhain to all who celebrate (pronounced Sohwin)

I'm so proud to finally post my second fic please don t hesitate to leave kudos and a comment or more and tell me what you think of it <3

My Name is Bokuto Koutaro,

I'm a Volleyball player in my school's club and I'm currently at [Unknown name] Middle School

Our club Manager is this insanely cute boy, Akaashi Keiji, he's one year younger than me, he knows so much about Volleyball and he would've probably been a good player then too if he tried.

One time, he even told me he'd want to play alongside me in high school.

He is probably the smartest person I know, he always knows what to do whenever I'm feeling down. Today is Valentine's day and I bought the biggest bouquet of flowers for him, that shot was expensive but definitely worth it.

Akashi was known for having rejected dozens of girls and guys last Valentine's day and he tried to make it the least awkward as possible, telling girls he's not into women and telling guys he already has a crush on someone else. Every guy that was into him wanted to be that "someone else", so what made me different from the others? I was just another desperate Pansexual that fell head over heals for the most beautiful boy that ever existed. But I was his star, that's what he called me, and I'm convinced that MUST mean something. No homie calls another homie his "star" in a no homo way, no amount of saying no homo would be able to cancel the homo out of that sentence that I fear has worked on me one too many times.

I approached his classroom's open door around lunchtime, he was the only one there. But how should I do it? I had a big ass bouquet behind my back and it would be OBVIOUS what I wanted to say. And then lightning struck, I approached his desk with the flowers behind my back, put my best acting mask on and spoke up, "AKAASHI!", just saying his name gave me butterflies, "not to sound rude but you're into guys right?", my legs were shaking. I think I'm a terrible actor. He looked up at me with those beautiful blue eyes,

"Hello, Bokuto-san", if you think you're polite than you haven't met Akashi, he's the most polite person I have ever met. "I am actually, why?" I couldn't back out anymore, "So like, if I ever wanted to ask a guy out, how would I do it?" Akashi was frozen for a moment, his blue eyes looked at me and I was about to freak. The fuck. Out.

"I guess it depends on who you plan to ask out, but", he paused. "You should honestly just go for it. The worst that can happen is getting rejected", he added.

"Just go for it. Stop standing there like an idiot!" I thought to myself. I had the flowers, I had Akaashi alone. It was now or never!

I revealed the bouquet from behind my back, which was definitely visible even from behind, and out of panic I shoved the flowers in his face.

"D-Do you want to marry me?"

I had never been more embarrassed in my entire life. How did I mix up "go out with me" and

"marry me"?

Akashi started laughing, of course he did. Why would he want to go out with me? ESPECIALLY after this.

He pulled something out of his backpack and pointed it towards me, "How about a date first?" I lowered to bouquet so that I could see him, he was pointing a rose towards me. No, he was giving me a rose.

"You really wanna go out with me?", I was shocked

"I was going to ask you out today anyway, you just made it easier for me", I swear his eyes turned into literal hearts, or maybe it was my eyes that did that. "I'm not saying I don't want to marry you, just take me out to dinner first", he said nonchalantly. All I know is that he took my bouquet, I took his rose and he kissed my cheek, barely a millimeter away from my lips and that I had a date with the cutest boy in the world.

I was on cloud 9 the whole day, at practice I kept sneaking glances at Akashi and got a balli thrown at my face because of it. We decided to meet at the Valentine's Day Festival that night, Tokyo really went all out no matter the festivity, the whole thing was Love themed and there were couples everywhere. I put on my best clothes but you couldn't really tell with the jacket. Akaashi lived next to his parents' library, his parents are like, the coolest ever but that's not what we're focusing on here. He came out with a cream jacket and he had one of the roses I gave him earlier behind his hear, it had some kind of gold colored wire around the stem and his ear so it wouldn't fall out. "Good Evening, Bokuto-san", he said with a huge smile on his face, his voice was happy but shaky. "Uh-Uh...Hi! Um- so- well-", he grabbed the left side of my face and interrupted me, "Don't stress it, Bokuto-san. Take your time", he reassured me.

"You look beautiful tonight, Akaashi", I said completely flustered and looking away. His face was also pretty red.

"And you look so much like my dream husband.", he teased me again

"Oh my god! I got my words mixed up once! Will you ever let me live that down?", I asked hiding my face in my hands

"Not until you marry me", he said completely serious and smiling at me.

"Can I hold your hand?", he asked me, extended his hand and looked away.

I grabbed said hand and squeezed, "You don't even have to ask."

The Festival wasn't that far away so we decided to walk there, we were so nervous we looked like robots holding hands as we walked there.

First we got something to eat on the go, I got a Yakisoba Pan while he got a simple Melonpan.

• There were a few street performers dancing which we stopped to admire, Akashi pulled out a little notebook from his jacket pocket,

"Whatcha doin?", I asked

"Just sketching the dancer", he responded

"Looks pretty accurate", I pointed out

"Thanks! It's just a hobby but I would love to work in the art field some day", he said

"You totally should, you're really good", I said He blushed, "You're just saying that to be nice"

"No, I mean it! You have some actual talent you know?", his face got even redder but he had this adorable, dorky smile on his face, "Thank you"

On our way to the ferris wheel I won him a huge panda plush at one of those shoot the can games, which took several tries. When we got on we were both visibly nervous, this was a small cramped space we had to share, what if I said something weird and he'd get totally grossed out and we had to sit threw the awkwardness for the whole ride?

As the ride started Akashi squeezed my hand a little and lightly put his head on my shoulder and with that simple act all my anxiety faded away.

Have you ever felt so comfortable with someone where you'd wish you could be with them all the time and a moment alone with them felt like nobody else was on the planet except for you two at this exact moment? That's how life felt in that moment. And those few minutes of silence felt to me like a thousand words had just been spoken. I was actually kind of sad the moment ended when we had to get off the ferris wheel.

"You're still sleeping over right? I don't want you to walk alone this late at night", he said although it was just 10

"Yeah I'm not a fan of the dark really and I have all my stuff at your place already anyway.", after I said that I could almost see the gears turning in Akaashi's brain,

"Wanna go to the love tunnel?"

Notes:

Some things that weren't detailed here will probably be more detailed in Akashi's Pov.

So yeah you're going to have to wait for Chapter 3 for the love tunnel and sleepover.

I gotta give you a reason to come back now don't I?

Hope you liked this Chapter, Lots of Love,

Sasha <3