#he's emotional so im looking respectfully but like. i am looking

[uceyliyahh]

WRITTEN IN RED

summary: Tamaya tends to keep to herself, only opening up to her best friend. During a tumultuous time with her obsessive ex-boyfriend, Tre, who constantly disrupted her life and pulled her back in whenever it suited him, everything shifted when she unexpectedly crossed paths with Jey.

this fanfic is 18+ NO MINORS ALLOWED

warnings contain: depression, stalking, domestic violence, emotional abuse.

word count: 7.4k

AWFUL GRAMMAR IM GETTING BETTER I SWEAR LOL.

smut warning: it’ll come in the story randomly so PLEASE PLEASE look out for it I’m not really good a writing ✍🏽 smuts but I am improving at the moment.

Jey Uso x Tamaya

comments, likes, repost are appreciated I would love the constructive feedback in what area I need to approve in. 🤍

ALSO! I don’t not want nobody stealing my fanfics or take it as theirs that will be an issue fasho so keep it cute respectfully.

I only own my OC along with the make up scenarios

again mdni you have been warned.

TAGS ⬇️ lmk if you wanna be tag 🏷️ @pinkwithhearts @420days @jstarr86 @empressdede @angiedawn02 @biancasreign @prettyfilmz @sharmelasworld @formulafortyfour @theusotwinzcom

@bebesobrielo @skyesthebomb @aikosilo @papireigns-05 @punksyeet @paigereeder @magnificentbouquetmusic

@charmed-dreamssss @fearlesschimera @partypoison00 @mselenalovebug @bloodlinesbabe93 @justazzi @xbriexx @luvrsluxe @celesteheartsjey @4milly @luuvprincess @yyaktayak @yana3sworld @shanthefemalerapper @bloodlineslut @bookuce @sheaabuttaababyy

𝔇𝔬𝔰

𝕺𝖒𝖓𝖎𝖘𝖈𝖎𝖊𝖓𝖙 🤍

As the weekend approached, Tamaya found herself on her lunch break, casually scrolling through her social media feed while enjoying her usual chicken salad. All week long, her best friend Sakshi had been incessantly chattering about her kiss with Jey at the club, and it was beginning to really irritate Tamaya.

Jey would reach out to her via FaceTime and send texts to see how she was holding up since their last encounter at the club. Although she noticed Tre's message, it filled her with fear; she was deeply concerned about Jey's safety and wanted nothing to jeopardize him.

As she enjoyed her lunch, a notification appeared on her screen, revealing a message from Jey. A smile spread across her face as she pondered when he would reach out to her. Setting her fork aside, she eagerly began to type a response.

ZaddyJey🤫💜 sent a message

|| ZaddyJey🤫💜: hey mamas

Maya🪬: heyyy pookie

ZaddyJey🤫💜: pookie? that’s new you having a good day today or what?

Maya🪬: yeah since you’re texting me

ZaddyJey🤫💜: hm glad I’m doing sum right but are you still coming to the cookout tonight?

Maya🪬: yeah I’ll come with Sakshi after work

ZaddyJey🤫💜: good I miss yo’ pretty ass already

Maya🪬: keep missing me then 💋

ZaddyJey🤫💜: very funny how’s work been?

Maya🪬: good just ready to go home honestly also I’m so sorry about Tre he’s a weirdo

ZaddyJey🤫💜: I was goin to ask you bout that is that yo’ ex or sum? He was talking hella reckless in them comments

Maya🪬: yeah…that’s my crazy ass ex boyfriend for ya 😓

ZaddyJey🤫💜: it’s all good baby I’m not trippin on that fool I’m more worried about you

Maya🪬: oh? Really?

ZaddyJey🤫💜: yeah I told you I’m tryna get to know you better mama

Maya🪬: better be careful tryna get to know me I could be more “dangerous”

ZaddyJey🤫💜: that’s fine mama I like em dangerous anyways 🤪

Maya🪬: you is a damn fool 😭

ZaddyJey🤫💜: only for you mamas

Maya🪬: mhm whatever boy you got any kids?

ZaddyJey🤫💜: yeah I do two of em one of them is in college down here in Atlanta and the other one is with me all the time

Maya🪬: you were married? What happened if you don’t mind me asking?

ZaddyJey🤫💜: we just wanted to be friends nothing personal and yes me and their mother are on good terms if you were curious.

Maya🪬: oh well that’s good

ZaddyJey🤫💜: hbu?

Maya🪬: no I don’t have any children I want some though I loveeee children

ZaddyJey🤫💜: I can provide that for you 🙃

Maya🪬: I’m finna block you

ZaddyJey🤫💜: I’m playing mamas I’m playing but nah I’m talking about you and dude.

Maya🪬: oh well that’s kinda personal ngl if I go too deep into it—it’ll just put me in a dark place

ZaddyJey🤫💜: it’s all good mamas you don’t gotta tell me

Maya🪬: all I can say is we dated for four years and I broke up with him

ZaddyJey🤫💜: mhm

Maya🪬: yeah, what time will the cookout start?

ZaddyJey🤫💜: around eight to nine ish

Maya🪬: aight I’ll be there around that time after work

ZaddyJey🤫💜: aight then mama I’ll see you later ❤️

Maya🪬: see you 🩷

Tamaya glanced at her Apple Watch and realized her lunch break had come to an end. She quickly set about tidying up, ensuring that the lunchroom was immaculate before she departed.

With a swift motion, she closed her lunch bag and returned it to the refrigerator. As she made her way to clock back in, her thoughts were consumed by Jey—he had occupied her mind all week after their chance encounter at the club just a few days prior.

At the same time, Jey had just finished an unfulfilling encounter with Seanna, though she seemed to have enjoyed it. Their brief affair began during a day off with his cousins, who decided to visit a strip club to watch the dancers perform on the pole. Upon entering, they settled onto a plush velvet sofa, engaging in lively conversation among themselves.

It was in that moment he caught sight of Seanna gracefully dancing on the pole, radiating confidence. When she noticed his gaze fixed on her, she flashed a playful smirk and blew him a kiss, igniting the spark of their brief romance. He began showering her with gifts and occasionally whisked her away on dates. However, as time passed, she grew increasingly at ease with him, while he found himself losing interest in her allure.

He was only attracted to her because she was a stripper and enjoyed their casual encounters. However, she began to feel entitled to his generosity, thinking they were in a relationship. As a result, she started to cling to him like a lost puppy, following him wherever he went.

Jey was unsettled by how things had unfolded. When he explained that their relationship was merely a casual affair, she refused to accept his words. He realized he couldn't pursue a relationship with someone like her—a stripper—knowing that neither of his parents would ever approve.

Whenever she called, he would turn a blind eye, and when she texted, he would leave her hanging on read. It wasn't that he intended to be disrespectful; he simply found her irritating. The only way he felt he could silence her was by giving in to physical intimacy.

Jey rose from the bed, slipping into his clothes but leaving his shirt off, as Seanna draped the cover over herself, admiring him.

“Where you going daddy?” Seanna asked.

Jey felt a wave of discomfort every time she used that name for him, yet he held his tongue, not wanting to ignite a conflict between them.

“I got to go out to get some stuff for this cookout.” A smile spread across his face as he noticed a text message from Tamaya appear on his screen.

Maya🪬 sent a message

|| Maya🪬: heyyy pookie should I bring something to the cookout yk I just wanted to contribute

Seanna observed a smile on his face, a rare sight in recent times, leaving her to ponder who might be the reason behind his newfound happiness.

ZaddyJey🤫💜: Hell yeah could you possibly bring some drinks and some food while I get the other stuff

Maya🪬: yeah sure I don’t mind

ZaddyJey🤫💜: get some mayonnaise too

Maya🪬: 🤨 nigga ew ya’ll like mayonnaise?

ZaddyJey🤫💜: mhmm we sure do in this family

Maya🪬: aight I’ll get it for a certain someone 😭

ZaddyJey🤫💜: whatchu wearing tonight?

Maya🪬: something I feel comfortable in why?

ZaddyJey🤫💜: you tryna match or what?

Maya🪬: what color?

ZaddyJey🤫💜: black

Maya🪬: I can find something in black

ZaddyJey🤫💜: good, you gonna real them grills hm?

Maya🪬: how yk I got some grills?

ZaddyJey🤫💜: you have a pretty smile and they were noticeable

Maya🪬: why thank you sir, so what we twinning then?

ZaddyJey🤫💜: Hell yeah only if you want too

Maya🪬: I don’t mind

ZaddyJey🤫💜: aight imma head out to get the stuff for the cookout

Maya🪬: kk

Jey slipped his phone into his pocket as he made his way to the closet to grab a fresh shirt and a hoodie, but then Seanna spoke up.

“Who were you texting.” She questioned him.

Jey glanced over his shoulder, his eyebrows knitted together in confusion. "What difference does it make, Seanna? We're not a couple," he shot back, deliberately keeping his back to her.

“So you taking me on dates and shopping doesn’t mean we are dating?”

"Are you out of your mind? I've told you repeatedly that we're just a casual thing at the moment. I can't understand why you're still hanging around, Seanna." With that, Jey strode out of the bedroom, leaving Seanna stunned by his words.

She couldn't grasp why he was acting this way towards her. The fact that it was just a casual affair didn't bother her; she appreciated his gifts, the dinners they shared, and the passionate moments they enjoyed together. It all made her feel as though she had him completely under her spell.

Anyone who wanted Jey's focus had to step back, as he was hers and hers alone. She would make that clear tonight at the cookout.

Tamaya returned from the store, bringing back all the items Jey had asked for the cookout. As she entered the kitchen, she spotted her best friend gazing at the table piled high with groceries.

“Girl what’s all of this?” Sakshi asked.

“Food and drinks for the cookout that Jey wanted me to get.” Tamaya responded by putting the drinks in the refrigerator to chill, along with the food in the freezer.

“Cookout? Jey having a cookout and I was not informed of this?”

Tamaya sighed dramatically, placing her hands on her hips as she shot an exasperated glance at her best friend. “I literally told you this all week after you wouldn’t shut up about the kiss me and him shared.”

“And I won’t ever shut up about it like ever, but I had seen Tre trippin in yo’ comments.” Tamaya sighed deeply finishing up putting the rest of the groceries up in the fridge. “Girl don’t get me started with his ass I can’t stand him.”

“Have you heard from him since that happened?”

Tamaya sighed and shook her head as she scrolled through her social media, her chin resting on her hand. She wished fervently that he would disappear from her life completely, allowing her the happiness she craved. Yet deep down, she understood that achieving that peace wouldn’t be simple.

“I know he’s crashing out bad after hearing about you kissing another nigga that ain’t him.”

“Honestly girl I don’t really care if he is or not I mean it’s my life not his.”

“Period as it should be bestie, but what time is the cookout starting?”

“Jey said around eight to nine ish, so we’ll get ready around seven I’ll drive us there.” Sakshi nodded her head agreeing with Tamaya as she went towards the sofa.

Tamaya remained in the kitchen, absorbed in her phone as she scrolled through her timeline and the stories of others on Instagram. Suddenly, a text from Tre popped up, prompting her to roll her eyes at his message.

Tre💔 sent a message

|| Tre💔: Yo’ ass better not go to that fucking cookout Maya you didn’t think I wouldn’t know about that? I told you I got people living down there in Atlanta watching you, you better stay yo’ ass home away from that Samoan bitch

Who the fuck does he think he is?

Maya🪬: nigga last time I check we aren’t together anymore and that was about a year ago when I broke up with you so idk why you keep actin like we still together 😒

Tre💔: because you fucking belong to me Maya

Maya🪬: you’re fucking delusional and I don’t belong to anybody

Tre💔: Watch yo’ fucking mouth Maya don’t forget who made you

Maya🪬: nigga you fucking helped me with one fucking thing and think that you made me gtfo Tre please

Tre💔: BECAUSE I FUCKING DID YOU STUIPD BITCH IF I DIDNT HELP YOU PAY FOR YOUR NURSING CLASSES YOU WOULDNT BE WHERE YOU ARE TODAY

Maya🪬: and I am grateful for that but that don’t mean imma get back with you Trevon

Tre💔: god I fucking hate you Maya I really do

Maya🪬: if you hate me so much then leave me tf alone it’s that simple dummy

Tre💔: that smart ass mouth of yours will get you in trouble

Maya🪬: nigga please stop texting me fuck

Tre💔: yk I’m not gonna do that princess imma make yo’ life a living hell

Maya🪬: you do that enough what more damage do you want to do to me?

Tre💔: until you’re mine and I’m in control

Maya🪬: fuck you

Tre💔: don’t go to that cookout with him

Maya🪬: why are you jealous that I’m with someone better than you?

Tre💔: don’t flatter yourself princess that Samoan nigga don’t want you only seeing you as a fling like he does with that stripper he with

Stripper? Jey didn’t tell her about that.

Maya🪬: stripper? He’s with a stripper?

Tre💔: yeah but they’re a fling apparently so you ain’t that special either way he probably just wanna fuck you at that cookout tonight so I would advise you not to go

Tamaya was completely unaware of the stripper Tre was referring to. She wondered why Jey hadn’t brought it up during their text conversation the previous night when they were trying to connect. It was at that moment that Tre's words began to weigh heavily on her mind.

The thought that she might not be “good enough” and was merely someone to “hook up with” sent a chill of fear through her as she contemplated the situation she was stepping into. Just then, a vibration from her phone broke her train of thought, revealing a message from Tre.

Tre💔: yeah I got under yo’ skin like I always do princess so why don’t you just stay home and talk to me tonight

Maya🪬: I fucking hate you bitch don’t text me anymore

In a flurry, she dashed up the stairs to her bedroom after sending that message, leaving her best friend staring after her with a puzzled look, trying to piece together what had just occurred. Rising from the sofa, she followed Tamaya, eager to uncover the mystery.

Upon opening the door, she was met with the sound of her best friend sobbing, a wave of worry washing over her. She quickly moved to her side, settling down on the bed and enveloping her in a comforting embrace.

Sakshi felt her heart shatter as she listened to her best friend weeping. Gently, she ran her fingers through her hair, offering solace before uttering a single word.

“Bestie, what happened?” Sakshi inquired, but Tamaya remained silent, simply displaying the messages exchanged between her and Tre. As Sakshi meticulously read through them, her focus deepened.

The sight of this man harassing her and spreading falsehoods about Jey ignited a fire of fury within her. Unaware of the truth about the man, Sakshi gently set Tamaya’s phone down on the bed, pulling back from their embrace as she noticed the puffiness in Tamaya’s eyes.

“You’re letting him get under your skin Tay, you’re letting him win don’t do that.” She said.

“It’s so hard Saki like really hard bro, after all of the shit he put me through what if he’s right? Bout Jey?” Tamaya replied sniffing her nose.

“Don’t fucking believe him bout what he saying about Jey that’s something you and Jey need to talk about in private about this stripper.” Tamaya brushed away the tears streaming down her cheeks, nodding in agreement with her closest friend.

“You think I should keep my distance?” Sakshi shook her head.

“No, you need to talk to him tonight about it. No running away from this.” Tamaya realized that she couldn't escape this situation as she usually did when she was with Tre, simply because she felt lost and unsure of how to proceed.

Tamaya nodded her head before speaking, “alright I’ll talk to him about it.”

“Good, you’re too pretty to cry over a nigga that treated you like shit. You deserve better bestie for real.” Her and Sakshi hugged each other tightly knowing that Sakshi had her back forever.

As Jey chatted with his cousins, who were arriving for the cookout, each bringing along drinks and food, he took a sip of his beer. Suddenly, his gaze was drawn to someone entering the house alongside a girl.

Tamaya and her best friend Sakshi entered the room, and wow, Tamaya was absolutely stunning tonight. He couldn't take his eyes off her from head to toe. She rocked a sleek two-piece black ensemble, paired with a cozy furry hat and stylish black platform Converse, looking incredibly fabulous.

“Hollon Uce, gotta holla at shawty.” Jey remarked as he strolled in her direction.

Tamaya glanced around the room, taking in the beauty of his home. From the elegantly adorned sofas to the vibrant kitchen, the space radiated a touch of Samoan culture. Her eyes caught sight of him approaching, a red cup in hand, as he made his way toward her.

He certainly looked sharp tonight, perfectly coordinated with her. He sported an all-black Nike outfit, complemented by cross piercings in both earlobes, a sleek Cuban link silver chain, and a stylish Rolex adorning his wrist. She was also impressed by his impressive choice of shoes.

He flashed a grin, revealing his sparkling grills, and she mirrored his expression. Setting the red cup on the counter, he opened his arms wide for a hug. She leaped onto her tippy toes, wrapping her arms around him tightly, while he lifted her legs around his waist, both of them savoring each other's scent in a warm embrace.

Jey gently set her down, his hands resting on her waist as he gazed down at her.

“You just know how to style an outfit huh?” Jey said.

“I mean it’s eating ain’t it we are matching.” She replied.

“Hell yeah girl, lemme’ introduce you to the fam.” He had taken the time to introduce her to his friends and family, and to her delight, they all took a liking to her. This included his twin brother, Jimmy, and his cousin, Roman, who both remarked that she was far superior to a girl named Seanna. Tamaya suspected that this Seanna was the stripper Tre had mentioned earlier.

The girl was nowhere in sight, likely hiding upstairs, biding her time for the perfect moment to create a scene and humiliate Jey in front of his friends.

While conversing with his companions, Tamaya sensed his hand resting on her lower back, drawing her nearer to him. This subtle gesture stirred something profound within her.

Occasionally, he would sneak furtive looks at her while conversing with his friends, the scent of her perfume washing over him like a tidal wave, stirring a deep longing within him for something she possessed.

“So what do you do Tamaya?” Trinity asked.

“I’m a Pediatric Nurse, I work with children.” She replied.

“Oh my god for real? That mean you gonna make sure my future kids are good?” Tamaya chuckled at her reply while nodding her head as she continued talking to Trinity.

“Isn’t that the same girl from the club a couple of days ago Uce?” Jimmy asked.

Jey nodded his head while taking a sip of his beer in his red up, “yeah, that’s her. She’s so bad”

“You tryna get with her or what?”

“Yeah, like I wanna have a serious relationship with her I think Takecia would like her honesty.” Jimmy nodded as he listened to his twin brother talk about Tamaya. It was then that he spotted Seanna emerging from the back, joining the others as they headed in their direction. Excitedly, he nudged his brother and pointed.

Jey let out a heavy sigh, his fingers running through his mullet as he silently wished that Seanna would keep her cool while approaching them. However, Seanna's eyes narrowed when she spotted his hand resting on Tamaya's waist, a surge of anger rising within her at the sight of her "man" being so familiar with another woman.

“Jey, who the fuck is this?”

Tamaya spun around at once, recognizing the girl Tre had mentioned—the stripper. While she couldn't deny that the girl was attractive, she felt even more beautiful with Jey's hand resting on her waist.

“Seanna, don’t start no shit bro. what the fuck are you even doing here I thought you left?”

“Why would I leave?”

“Because we aren’t together?”

Seanna smacked her lips as she looked at Tamaya up and down with a stank face. “Who is this bitch?”

Tamaya looked offended by what she had said, “bitch? Girl I’m not a fucking dog hoe.”

“Hoe? Girl you the one who’s a hoe stealing my man.”

“Last time I check he said he didn’t claim you.”

“Girl, he don’t be saying that when he be saying that when he be fucking me unlike you I don’t know what he sees in you probably just another fling but I’m the prize here.” The words hit her hard, piercing her heart, but she chose to conceal her feelings in front of his companions to avoid any humiliation.

“If you were the prize you would’ve been with him instead of him throwing you to the side, seems like he’s more interested in me than you.” Seanna attempted to charge at Tamaya, but Jimmy quickly restrained her, preventing any confrontation. Meanwhile, Tamaya remained unfazed, having faced far worse challenges in the past.

She informed Jey that she required a moment, then turned and made her way back into the house. Ascending the stairs toward one of the bedrooms, she closed the door behind her and started to crumble.

The words Seanna spoke echoed in her mind, bringing back memories of Tre, who had a way of dragging her down and shattering her mental well-being. It plunged her thoughts into a dark place, filled with painful recollections of their time together. As she wiped away her tears, she found herself sniffling, overwhelmed by the weight of those haunting memories.

She walked restlessly from one end to the other, desperately attempting to soothe her frayed nerves and rein in her emotions, yet each time she heard those haunting words and voices in her mind, she faltered.

‘Another fling’

‘Someone to fuck on’

‘Not good enough’

‘That Samoan nigga don’t like you for real he just want to fuck on you.’

‘Remember I made you’

The words Tre had spoken to her echoed in her mind, diminishing her sense of self. Once again, she felt herself slipping away, and doubts crept in—perhaps attending the cookout was a mistake after all. She should have heeded Tre's advice.

As she hastily dried her tears, she heard a knock at the door, determined to hide any trace of her sorrow. She caught a glimpse of Jey's head poking out from behind the door.

“Hey, can I come in?” Jey asked softly as Tamaya nodded her head.

Jey entered the room, closing the door softly behind him. He took a seat beside her, but she didn’t glance in his direction. Instead, she nervously played with her fingers, anticipating his words.

“I’m sorry bout her, she was suppose leave earlier.”

Tamaya wiped her nose, “it’s okay I’m not trippin’ about it anymore she seems very adamant about you.”

He chuckled at her, “nah she’s just some stripper I met at the club just a fling now she thinks we are in a relationship.” Tamaya chuckled bitterly while shaking her head. “She’s definitely delusional.”

“You said something right tonight.” Tamaya kept her gaze averted until he brought it up.

“Look at me angel, lemme’ see yo’ pretty face.” He gently lifted her chin, compelling her to meet his gaze, his deep chocolate brown eyes locking onto hers.

He observed that her eyes were swollen and tinged with red, a clear indication that she had been crying prior to his entrance into the room. Gently, he caressed her cheeks with his thumb as she shut her eyes, savoring the warmth of his affection.

“You’ve been crying baby.”

“N-no I haven’t…” Jey tilted his head, unconvinced by her performance, fully aware that tears had stained her cheeks.

“Don’t do that, talk to me.”

“It’s really personal Joshua, like very personal.”

“Lay it out on me baby I’m listening.” Tamaya started to share the tumultuous journey of her past four years with Tre, detailing the constant ups and downs of their relationship. As she spoke, she revealed her scars, including a particularly haunting one on her rib cage, a painful reminder of when Tre had stabbed her.

Jey's gaze softened as he caught sight of the scar on her rib cage. Listening to her recount how she nearly lost her life because of him shattered his heart into countless fragments. It was no wonder she needed a moment to collect herself; Seanna had said something that struck a nerve.

He noticed a tear rolling down her cheek as she rose to her feet.

“I’m sorry…this is a lot..” she said softly while sniffing her nose.

She sensed him rising from behind her, his arms encircling her waist, radiating warmth as his neck nestled against her shoulders.

“It’s okay I’m right here, I’m not going anywhere.”

“I fucking hate him so much…I-I fucking hate him Joshua.” She sensed herself crumbling once more as Jey gently turned her to face him, allowing her to weep freely against his chest.

He gently caressed her hair, murmuring tender words of comfort into her ear, assuring her that all would be well and that he was by her side. “I know mamas, I know. I’m right here.”

Tamaya had never felt this exposed with anyone else except her closest friend. In Jey's embrace, she found a profound sense of safety; the warmth radiating from his body and the comforting scent of his cologne wrapped around her, bringing peace to her heart and soul.

She usually managed to control her emotions during tough times, but tonight felt different. His presence held a special significance for her.

He paused for a moment, taking in her flushed cheeks and swollen eyes, her lashes glistening with tears. Gently, he wiped away the last remnants of her tears, cradling her chin tenderly before he began to speak.

“You deserve better, you’re way too beautiful to be treated like that.” Jey says softly.

“Way too fucking beautiful at that.” Tamaya studied his facial expressions, noticing a glimmer in his eyes that was unfamiliar to her. It was as if he was silently longing for her presence.

He leaned in, his hands gently cradling her chin, as their noses grazed against one another. Their lips hovered tantalizingly close until he finally took the plunge and kissed her.

The kiss unfolded slowly and tenderly, a soothing balm she craved as she encircled his neck with her arms, while his hands rested softly on her hips, giving them a gentle squeeze. Their tongues danced and battled for control, reminiscent of wild creatures, as she began to retreat toward the bed.

He tracked her every motion, refusing to lose sight of her, until he found himself positioned above her, nestled between her legs, with her balanced precariously at the edge of the bed.

“Joshua…” she murmured between the kiss.

“What’s up mama?” He murmured back before pulling away.

“I think we should head back down to the cookout.”

“I mean we could stay up here if you want to.”

Tamaya shook her head, “I think I’m okay now.”

He pressed his lips to hers one final time, relishing the moment as he assisted her in getting off the bed and adjusting their clothes. Tamaya then slipped into the bathroom to wash her face, having shed so many tears. Meanwhile, Jey followed her in, leaning against the door frame with his arms crossed over his chest.

Once she had finished washing her face, she noticed him leaning against the door, his gaze fixed on her with an intensity that suggested he wanted to absorb every detail of her as she walked by. The moment he caught a hint of her fragrance wafting from the bathroom, he reached out, wrapping his arms around her waist, catching her off guard as he looked down at her with a smoldering intensity.

“You’re so dangerous got me actin crazy right now baby.”

“Well continue to act crazy then sir this cookie jar is closed for right now.”

“Oh? So you wanna play like that huh?” As she slipped from his embrace, she flashed him a dazzling smile that showcased her grills, making her way down the stairs to the kitchen, leaving him longing for her presence.

As Night Falls drew near, everyone began preparing to depart, seen gathering food or assisting with tidying up the house and the backyard alongside those who remained. Meanwhile, Tamaya stood outside, her feet splashing in the water, lost in thought about the events of the evening.

There was a bond between her and Jey that mirrored the one she shared exclusively with Sakshi, her closest friend. This made him fortunate to secure a top spot on her list of trusted individuals. Her mind was consumed with thoughts of his soft-spoken words and the way his kisses sent her into a whirlwind of emotions, driving her to the brink of madness.

She noticed the longing in his eyes, a clear indication that his heart was set on her and not on that Seanna girl. As the water flowed over her feet, she heard the sliding door creak open and turned to see Jimmy stepping outside.

“Hey, Tamaya me and Trin finna take yo’ best friend him since she had to many to drinks.” Jimmy said.

“A’ight then be careful tho she’s a handful.” Tamaya replied while chuckling at him.

“I think we can handle her you good though?” Tamaya smiled and embraced him tightly before he turned and headed back into the house, car keys in hand.

Tamaya concluded it was time to head home as she had a day off tomorrow, allowing her to catch up on some much-needed rest before the week began. She lifted her feet from the pool, shaking off the water to dry them, and then picked up her shoes and socks as she made her way back into the house.

Amidst the few individuals lounging on Jey's sofa, either slouched or engaged in lively conversation, she focused on slipping on her socks and shoes. Bending slightly to adjust them, she noticed Jey was nowhere in sight, likely occupied with Seanna at that moment, just as she finished securing her shoes.

In that moment, she felt a sudden smack on her backside, nearly causing her heart to leap out of her chest. As she spun around, ready to throw a punch, she discovered it was Jey standing behind her, a mischievous grin plastered across his face. She couldn't help but roll her eyes at his antics.

“You play too fucking much Joshua.” She says while nudging him on his shoulder.

“Can’t be bending over like that when I’m near angel.”

As they locked eyes, the haunting melody of Frank Ocean's "Novacane" filled the air around them.

“I can bend over whenever I want, you ain’t gonna do nothing about it.” Jey furrowed his brows, setting his red cup on the table before stepping closer to her.

Tamaya remained frozen, resembling an innocent child who had committed no offense, as she felt his hand encircle her throat and the other rest on her hips. The music playing in the background filled the silence, amplifying the palpable tension that hung between them.

Their noses almost grazed, as their lips lingered close, wavering between hesitation and desire.

“You tryna get me riled up mamas? Because don’t start something you can’t finish.” Jey leans in close, his voice barely above a whisper as he locks his gaze onto her deep chocolate brown eyes.

She looked at him innocently, “I told you I’m dangerous pookie.” He held her firmly against the table's edge, longing to press his lips to hers and savor the sensation of their tongues entwining.

His rigid form pressed against her, while his lips started to explore her jawline, leaving a trail of soft, teasing kisses that coaxed a moan from her lips.

He pressed his lips against her neck, drawing on it as if she were his quarry, savoring her essence and leaving marks as though she were his Luna. The sensation left her mind swirling in a haze, while an unsettling feeling crept over her, as if someone were observing their every move, witnessing the scene unfold before their eyes.

Seanna stood by, her heart shattering as she witnessed the man she believed was hers sharing a kiss with another woman, leaving her feeling utterly betrayed.

‘What does he even see in her that he doesn’t with me?’ All she could do was watch as he lavished his affection and attention on the girl, but everything changed when she saw him set Tamaya down on the table; that moment ignited something within her.

The way his hands roamed over Tamaya’s body and its curves infuriated her. She was well aware that she was the superior choice for him, so why would he opt for this other woman instead?

What could possibly explain his lavish treatment and all the special moments they shared if they weren't in a relationship? To her, they were undeniably a couple, so witnessing him kiss another woman felt like a double blow to her heart.

Jey's hands gripped Tamaya's hips, pulling her closer as he squeezed gently, their tongues dancing in a heated battle for control. He could feel the pressure of his arousal pressing against her, straining against the fabric of his jeans.

“You see what you did to me baby? You feel that shit don’t you?” He murmured between the kiss.

“I can feel it rubbing up against me.” She murmured softly almost losing herself to this man.

He grabbed her hand placing it down on his throbbing cock feeling nothing but pre-cum coming out from it. “Touch it, please touch it.” She touched it without hesitation causing a groan to escape his lips as she did so.

She was rubbing her thumb against his dick that were against his jeans almost teasing him she could see him folding beneath her touch that’s the effect she had on him.

They linger in a passionate embrace, their lips entwined, before reluctantly breaking apart—locking eyes that shimmer with pure desire and an elusive emotion they can't quite define.

“You’re wet Joshua.” She says softly as she felt him kiss her lips again.

“You got me like this in a public space mamas.” He replied softly.

“You know I gotta go home.” She could hear him let out a deep sigh, fully aware of the sexual frustration he was likely experiencing at that moment. “Fuck, can’t you stay just for a little bit longer?” His hands were still firmly on her butt squeezing them.

A silent plea shimmered in his eyes, urging her to remain by his side, yet the echoes of Tre's words haunted her thoughts, casting a shadow over the moment. “He only wants to fuck on you” “he doesn’t want you for real.”

She felt a chill of fear at the thought that this was likely all he truly wanted to achieve, or so she assumed.

She gently pushed his hands away as she stood up from the table, unwilling to accept being treated as just a temporary fling. The thought of being used and discarded, especially with him involved with that stripper, was something she couldn't bear.

She had no desire for that.

She was letting Tre win yet again.

She was letting his words get to her.

Before she could reach for her purse and phone, she sensed his hands resting on her waist. "Just stay; we don’t have to do anything, I promise," he said. She turned her head to face him directly.

“How can I trust you? I know I’m just a pretty face and have a nice body figure but if you’re doing all of this just to fuck and then leave me under the mat then this conversation is over with.”

Jey drew her body nearer to his, their faces just inches apart as she looked up at him.

“I’m not here for allat, I told you I want to get to know you better mama. Don’t compare me to whatever you and ol’ dude had going on cuz I’m different than him.” She gazed into his eyes and recognized the sincerity behind them; if he weren't truly committed, he wouldn't have taken the step to introduce her to his people as he did today.

“Just stay tonight ion’ want you driving home by yourself” With that, she surrendered to him, nodding as they separated from one another. “If I’m spending the night with you what would I wear and what about shawty?”

“I’ll let you borrow some of my clothes for tonight and as for her I’ll tell her to leave she wasn’t supposed to be here anyways.”

Tamaya gave a nod as she set her purse down on the small table beside her.

“Just head upstairs and take a shower I’ll be right there.” Tamaya complied with his request and ascended the stairs, her movements captivating him. He couldn't help but be entranced by the way her backside swayed in her sweatpants.

After enjoying a soothing warm shower in Jey's bathroom, Tamaya slipped into his clothes, donning his boxers and a trendy yeet crop top. She pampered her skin with coconut lotion she had stashed in her purse, and she put on her bonnet, prepared for moments like this.

As she focused on her task, she failed to notice him leaning against the doorframe, observing her. When she finally turned around, a startled gasp escaped her lips, her hand instinctively flying to her chest at the sight of him.

He let out a laugh as she flashed him the middle finger before saying anything. “you can’t be scaring folks like that Joshua!” She scolded him.

“My fault mamas, I just was admire how good you look in my clothes didn’t mean to scare yo’ tiny ass.” Tamaya shot him a fierce look as she approached, her posture radiating confidence as if she were above him. She playfully nudged him, but in an instant, he seized her by the throat, compelling her to yield to his grip.

“Look how you submit to me, thinking you tuff and shit little one.” He gently pressed his lips against hers before releasing his grip on her throat. As she turned to walk away, she playfully smacked her lips at him, making her way to the opposite side of the bed.

She nestled into the sheets, cocooning herself in the blanket as the bed dipped under Jey's weight when he joined her. He encircled her waist with his arms, drawing her nearer, enveloping her in the comforting warmth of his body.

She was restless, shifting from side to side in search of comfort until he broke the silence, asking, “Are you alright over there, angel?” She turned to him, her face lighting up with a reassuring smile as she nodded in response.

He sensed her unease in their current situation, so he gently released his hold around her waist and instead drew her closer to his chest, allowing her to feel the steady rhythm of his heartbeat.

She gently rested his hand on his chest, taking in the intricate tribal tattoos that adorned his body, winding across his arms and back. What captivated her the most were the names of his children, beautifully inked into his skin.

“Is this comfortable for you?” He asked softly.

She gazed up at him, fully aware that nothing brought her more comfort than the sound of his heartbeat. It served as a calming balm for her, a fact he remained oblivious to, despite her openness about her emotions.

“It’s very comfortable for me.” Tamaya responded with a yawn, settling in more snugly against his chest.

Jey observed her as she slipped in and out of slumber, her eyelids fluttering gently as she surrendered to sleep. Meanwhile, he remained awake, captivated by the beauty that lay before him. Today, he had glimpsed her vulnerability, listening to the stories of her past and the struggles she endured with Tre, and it shattered him.

How could someone like Tre treat a girl like Tamaya in such a way? Jey couldn't fathom ever behaving that way towards her. To him, she was incredibly valuable and gentle, always keeping to herself to steer clear of any drama. With a beautiful face and a warm smile like hers, who wouldn't be drawn to her?

To him, she was like a breath of fresh air, filling the entire room with her presence every time she entered, captivating him even more.

A tear slipped from her eye, and as he noticed it, his gaze softened. Gently, he brushed it away with his thumb and pressed a tender kiss to her forehead.

Perhaps what she truly needed was a trustworthy companion who could love her the right way, rather than subjecting her to endless turmoil.

Perhaps all she truly required was someone to bring her joy, and he was that person. Whenever he was near, a smile would light up her face.

Perhaps he could dismantle the barriers she has constructed to shield herself from the pain of another heartbreak.

So she didn’t have to feel scared anymore.

He didn’t want her to feel scared around him.

He wanted her to be more open and he was the person to get her there too.

WRITTEN IN RED

uceyjucey, therealsaki, itstrevon, trinity_fatu, and others liked your post.

babytaytay: His Prettiest Problem 💋

uceyjucey: mhm pretty asf too little mama

babytaytay: @ uceyjucey thank you pookie 🫶🏼

therealsaki: my bestie is so bad yall like 😩

babytaytay: @ therealsaki you know it girl 🙂‍↕️

trinity_fatu: so prettyyyy ❤️❤️

itstrevon: so you did go to the cookout after I told you not to? you’re so fucking stubborn 😒

uceyjucey: @ itstrevon gtfo she grown asf

itstrevon: @ uceyjucey nigga who tf is you? I hope you ain’t her new nigga because I’ll fuck you up

uceyjucey: @ itstrevon if I am yo’ ass ain’t finna do shit stupid bitch

itstrevon: @ uceyjucey aight bet that up when I see you it’s up there bitch ass nigga

babytaytay: @ itstrevon leave him out of this and leave me tf alone Tre I’m single I can do whatever tf I want so move around

Read all comments.

a/n: will Jey be able to break down Tamaya’s walls that she has been building up or will Tre get in her head again?

But I hope yall enjoy this chapter lmk in the comments below ⬇️

STAY UCEY.

[comraderoscoes]

[polysucks]

hey! what are some of your favourite asoiaf fanfics that you've read (if you feel ok sharing)?

Say less. I came prepared. All of these links are on Ao3 and almost all are rated Explicit because I think spicy things are fun. It’s not all sexy tho. Sometimes it’s rated E for Emotions. Or E for. Like. Life things.

Well. As you all know by now, I am Sansan trash. So most of these are sansan unless otherwise declared. Oh and everyone is of consenting adult age.

A Gift by 3rdstarksistr is my fucking goat. This fic? This fic. Right here. After 15 years of browsing ao3 anonymously, this is the fic that forced me to make an ao3 account. AFTER FIFTEEN YEARS. And it’s being actively updated. This makes me lose my mind, bro. LOSE MY MIND.

Essentially AU where Sandor doesn’t leave at BoTBB and Sandor bargains with Sansa for her body to take her across the narrow sea to safety. I can’t do the story justice. It sounds bad when I describe it. But Sansa is so so soooooo sweet and eager and Sandor is like. It’s hard to describe bc he could totally be triggering to some, but it’s very evident that he cares so deeply for her health, her safety, her happiness, but on the surface? Fuckin asshole. A real Sweet and Smol girl with HUGE SCARY DOG PRIVILEGES dynamic. With some excellent plot, too, that feels very-in-world.

There’s some big loss of virginity, dubcon, and some kiiiinky ass shit here (respectfully) but genuinely love love love this depiction of Sandor. He’s so loving, but also so rough, and he cares so much. I’m trash I know I’m sorry I’m sorry.

The author truly takes my breath away. The writing is so immersive, so catered for the reader, so vivid. It reads so naturally, like the author is painting a picture for you. Also madly in love with Pate, Sandor’s squire. What a cutie patootie. I’ll buy 4, thanks.

For Rent by Gendervny of course I got rep the fucking homie! My beloved @theeironprice wrote this fuckin thramsay masterpiece (it’s ongoing). I wouldn’t recommend it if I didn’t genuinely love it. Now, a fair warning, it is not for everyone. Definitely pay attention to the tags, because this author does not fuck around. The dove’s not dead but. It ain’t sleeping. Ifykyk. (It’s a compliment I promise)

This fuckin gem is so near and dear to my heart. It is a 2004 au with some amazing pop culture references sprinkled in as a little treat for the reader. It’s like the author leaves M&Ms on each page for u to go “OOH CANDY” And it gives u a little shot of dopamine every time I promise you. It’s actually what inspired this doodle of Sansa and Arya I did that you dorks seem to love so much and it makes me microwave all of these characters on fucking repeat in the year 2004. As a 2000s kid, like, this hits so hard. So close to home in the best way possible. And once you read about Theon listening to the Smiths, it just becomes canon to you. Of fucking course Theon listens to The Smiths. What a fucking loser.

A harmless addiction by rummy_cat is just stupid fun. Point blank. Yeah, it’s a sansan modern au. Look, I’m not a modern au person. I truly am not. So if I’m recommending it, it’s worth a read. Sansa is a 20-something who purchased a piece of shit house and is way over her head with her HGTV dreams. Sandor is a poor-bedside-manner, 3-stars-out-of-five on Angie’s list handy man—who also does in-story-equivalent of Onlyfans on the side. Now imma be real with you. I’m a sucker for a romcom cliche. If there’s a meet-cute, or a situation where they’re forced to share one bed, or anything else you can picture happening in a stupid straight to dvd Katherine heigl movie? Say less im already there.

So this is one of those fics that you genuinely don’t even need to know wtf is happening in the asoiaf world like at all. It would be a lovely standalone romcom book. It helps if you know who the main players are like Sansa, Sandor, Podrick, Bronn and Arya, but everyone is kind of a loose caricature. Usually I can’t stand this shit. But they’re so endearing, and written with so much heart and humanity and it genuinely feels like a HBO style romcom sitcom thing with a lot of situational humor. Also like??? Sandor is so endearing. Handyman Sandor and sweet little shut in with a secret potty mouth and a (very mild) porn addiction Sansa is to die for. And the first sex scene? Hysterical. But also hot. And bronn IS SO CUTE AS COMEDIC RELIEF. also gotta rep my man Tony the Italian who literally only shows up for like 3 paragraphs as situational humor narrative fodder and I would genuinely lay my life on the line to protect that man. I actually haven’t finished this one so I have no idea how it ends but genuinely you will be hanging on every chapter. The author is so engaging.

Quenched by Rambo holy fuck dude. Holy fuck dude. This? This shit right here? Holy fuck dude. Cw for dubcon bc well they’re both drunk and there’s some very tasteful feet stuff (if you know me, I am NOT a feet-stuff person. Periodt.) a lovely quick little horny read where Sandor pushes Sansa’s boundaries (consensually) and they are just so sexually compatible with one another. It’s very sweet. Some really lovely horny visuals surrounding period-accurate attire (I am a SUCKER for period accurate attire)

What I love the most about it is that it’s not framed like “character A does things to character B” nah. While Sandor may be doing the bulk of the “work” 👀 the reader gets to see an equal amount of Sandor’s enjoyment as Sansa’s. I love a dynamic where partners get off to their partner enjoying themselves bc it just feels so realistic. Like have you ever been with someone you care for deeply? That their enjoyment fuels your enjoyment, sexual or platonic. That shit is REAL. this author is a PAINTER.

Nine nights by Sarah C this. Was. Soooooo. Much. FUN. It’s a “oops we’re snowed in at an inn and we have to share a room with one bed what r we gonna dooooooo????” trope that is a huge romp and a half. I loved how realistic this was. I love how the author included real life details that are period accurate. Gross little details that aren’t “gross,” but every day real life things! For example, there is a scene where Sandor falls asleep before Sansa and she’s staring at him and just kinda disappointed bc she’s romanticized everything around her and Sandor is just so real. She’s staring at him and unable to sleep and he is snoring and he rolls over and farts in his sleep and she SCOWLS AND SCOFFS and I locked my phone and kicked my feet because it was just so cute and well written and REAL!!!! SO REAL!!!!! And Sansa gets to girl talk with a side character who is also a teenage girl and she deserves that. She sooooo deserves that. We miss Jeyne in this house. also there’s a spicy public fingering scene that is just— I’m blushing like a slut rn 10/10 amazing.

A Tough hide and a tender heart is a lovely little samsa quick read that is rated G and only 800+ words. It was the fic that was attributed to my samsa doodle. I don’t really ship it, but it was so so sooooo cute to think about. This fic is essentially Samwell Tarly being just so fucking sweet as usual. Just a complete gentleman. To Sansa at the Wall. Nothing even truly happens. It’s just Sam being a perfect fucking gentleman and admiring on Sansa. Honestly will give even most hardened assholes sweet little butterflies in their belly. Like I say, not even my ship, but it’s just genuinely so cute.

And I CANNNNNNNN NOT for the fuckin life of me find this fic that tells the “real story” of how the Vale was won. It’s a total “Yeah, Visenya fucked MILF GOAT Sharra Arryn and that’s how Visenya got the Vale to surrender” fic that was. P E A K. but for whatever reason, it’s wiped from my browser history.

I hope you find some of these fun :,) I know I did. Sorry it’s so much sansan I read other things too I promise!

[teddypickrwritings]

HELLO!!!! i see that u do character x character and im respectfully humbly and looking at u with big sparkly eyes if u could possible perhaps maybe write ithaqua x luca? 🥺👉👈

Resting - Night Watch x Prisoner (IthaLuca)

A/N: My belief that Luca can be shipped with anyone (within reason) remains strong. Thank you for requesting! Apologies that this took a bit to write, life stuff kept me busy. ^^;

Despite what many believed, Ithaqua did not hate people. It was true that he was unsociable and…off-putting, to say the least. But it couldn’t be helped. He had barely interacted with a single person besides his mother for years. His victims didn’t count.

Ithaqua just preferred to observe everyone’s interactions. It was a form of amusement for him. But no one amused him more than a certain electrically-charged survivor.

Luca was a bit of a strange case in terms of personality. He liked talking to people, often carrying conversations, but spent a lot of time holed up in his room. He was well-mannered because of his noble upbringing, but could be as loud and impulsive as the lightning that coursed through his body. Ithaqua found him to be charming.

“You know, chasing you around is like a game of cat and mouse,” Ithaqua once said to Luca post-match. He had tried to keep his feelings of annoyance down—it wasn’t a secret that Luca was an easy target, but the prisoner’s evasiveness had been exceptionally high today.

“Cat and mouse, huh? Interesting comparison,” Luca mused, his fanged smirk growing. “A lot of people here are like cats in a bad way—always throwing hissy fits. It can be such a bother…but you, well, you’re like a giggly cat. If cats could giggle.”

Ithaqua, of course, giggled at that. And Luca’s smile upon hearing it made the slight embarrassment. “You are more like a rat,” the masked man quipped. “And I’m not sure why. You just are.”

Luca pretended to be offended. “Why, Mister Ithaqua, that was rude of you,” he laughed. But it turned into a wince of pain as he was suddenly struck with a small headache. “Ow, ow…!”

The lighthearted mood immediately dissipated. “Are you okay?” Ithaqua asked, a bit of concern in his voice. He knew it must be something related to Luca’s brain damage.

“Yes, yes. I’m fine,” the shorter man muttered. He ran a hand through his messy brown hair, a bit of static making it raise up a little. “Ah, what were we talking about?”

“Cats and rats,” Ithaqua deadpanned. He grabbed Luca by his collar and started dragging him away. “But not anymore. You better get some rest right now.”

Luca protested the whole way back to his room (wait, how did Ithaqua know where it was?) but wasn’t really struggling like one normally would in a match. Anyone they passed by didn’t move in to help at all, either out of fear or confusion.

Ithaqua practically kicked down the door and dropped Luca onto his bed covered in paper. “The state of your room is something to behold,” he said sarcastically. He couldn’t help but look around at the various notes and bits of machinery strewn everywhere. “So this is what you’re always up to…”

“Of course!” There was pride in Luca’s voice. “I told myself that no matter how spotty my memories get, I will be able to finish this machine.” He grabbed a fistful of his hair again with a hiss—the headache. He forgot about that.

“Well, you’re certainly not going to work on it now,” Ithaqua said firmly. He released that the sharp ends of his stilts could potentially stab through the papers, so he sat down and quickly took them off. Then he went to close the curtains so the sun wasn’t streaming in Luca’s face. “You better sleep right this instant.”

Luca looked at him suspiciously. “Since when did you care about people? And me, to an extent?” he asked.

Ithaqua narrowed his eyes. “You’re saying that as if I’m a cold, heartless monster,” he growled. He sat on the edge of the bed with a sigh. “Maybe I am heartless in a way. Emotions have become intolerable for me. But still, don’t just assume that I’d hurt you without reason.”

“That’s not what I was implying at all,” Luca said. He sat up and put a hand on Ithaqua’s shoulder, static electricity crackling faintly. “I just don’t ever remember you acting like this towards anyone.”

Ithaqua felt even more ashamed because he was right. How annoying. Wasn’t he supposed to be helping Luca feel better and not the other way around?

“There’s no shame in having emotions,” the prisoner continued.

“Ugh, shut your mouth already!” Ithaqua finally snapped, glaring at him. “You should be resting right now!”

Luca didn’t seem that fazed by the outburst. “If that’s what you want,” he said. He laid back down and turned to lay on his side, back facing Ithaqua. “Feel free to let me rest in peace.”

A few moments of silence. The tone in the prisoner’s voice…it was so infuriating! Yet, Ithaqua couldn’t help but wonder if that was a subtle invitation for him to stay. “I’ll stay, just to make sure you actually fall asleep,” he huffed.

A sly and content smile appeared on Luca’s face as he heard Ithaqua drag the desk chair next to the bed and sit in it. Oddly enough, despite the taller man being a hunter, he felt safe knowing that he wasn’t alone. And he felt grateful that he wasn’t sleeping on a hard surface like in his prison cell. Luca finally shut his eyes and fell asleep.

And when he woke up about an hour later, he was surprised that Ithaqua had fallen asleep as well. The mask muffled his slight snoring, but he was definitely sleeping.

Luca’s heart warmed at the sight. It was kinda cute seeing him looking like a napping cat. And it was, well…sweet of Ithaqua to have been serious about staying, not to mention surprising that he had fell asleep. Maybe he was truly the one that needed to rest.

“Sleep tight,” Luca whispered. He didn’t dare to try and move Ithaqua to his bed. But he was bold enough to kiss the forehead of his mask very, very gently.

Ithaqua’s dreams became pleasant after that.

[spotsupstuff]

Suns is such a bizarre thing actually i have a better grasp on who Wind and Innocence are than fucking Suns. why are they like that. what happened to you. why do you speak like that, baby boy, whats going on in those neurons, baby girl, have you gone bababooya, you thembo? -smacks desk- whas happening to you. answer.

because its strange. back in 2021 i thought they were going to be this cynical but somewhat reliable dude with a respectfully sized well of knowledge. that they were going to be red and even though they gave up on most of everything, they were strong in a way. because they were there to explain things to Pebbles. they were someone he could lean on, he trusted and felt comfortable about- so obviously they were also the opposite of overprotective. because thats what Pebbles needed and because its the polar opposite to who Moon is quite a bit

then Downpour came out and i saw they were yellow and how they spoke with Nish. i am gripped by color theory and what a hue signals about a character to brain, so i came to the conclusion that Suns is an awkward anxious thing who really cant do emotions to save their life. probably has nervous breakdowns every other other hour

but Now im looking at them differently again- im thinking about how RW is filled with opposites. Moon's structure glows blue, Pebbles' glows yellow- their overseer colors are each others. a pinkish red slugcat (Hunter) helps the blue Iterator, a blue slugcat (Rivulet) helps the pink Iterator. one brings life, other brings death to their respective goals. and then we have a Moon and a Sun characters- two most important people to the Iterator we could argue is in a way the main character of RW. the Moon is warm, the Sun is cold, i realize- maybe thats what Suns is supposed to be. they are the opposite to Moon in the sense that they are emotionally cold, they dont really get angry. rather theyd accept cynicism. Moon is optimistic, Suns is sorta a pessimist. Suns is what Pebbles gravitated towards, disregarding Moon. but you do need the Moon for planet's ecosystem and atmosphere, just like you need the Sun

that doesnt mean that Suns doesnt Love the people around them- they do, they most likely love to see the life all around them but they might be ignorant to it until something drastically changes that scares them

basically after two months of pondering ive come to the well accepted conclusion that Suns is actually the biggest dumb fuck that has ever dumb fucked around. bro as a vision impaired individual to apparently another vision impaired individual, how'd you not see that comin, you yellow pasta disaster

anyway, Nish to me is a mix of Sans Undertale and Miguel from The Road to El Dorado colored in green. I Know What You Are, Videocult 👁

[slyth-princess]

This is part two of my live blog post of RWRB. Like before, I’ll put it below the cut to avoid spoilers but if you want to see my mildly incoherent screaming… well, this is the place lol!

As always, happy viewing :)

- Alex looks absolutely TERRIFIED for this convo

- Ellen also looks a bit terrified haha

- His little laugh when he says no

- She has to sit. Oh god.

- No powerpoint. That’s unfortunate. But at least they alluded to it.

- I am glad we got the “you need to figure out if you feel forever about him” convo. And he sounds so sad when he tells her he doesn’t know if they will ever get there.

- “When your child is Alex Claremont Diaz you get used to the exceptional.” WE LOVE AN ACCEPTING MOTHER

- “Please call me congressman” hahaha

- ONE LAST STOP ONE LAST STOP

-THE HAT OH GOD

- This scene is fucking everything.

- THE ZOOM ON ALEXS FACE OH MY FUCKING GOD HES SO IN LOVE

- I said it before but I’ll say it again. I love his relationship with his dad. (But I don’t love that his parents are still together)

- They are so cute. I’m so obsessed.

- Jesus. The water on their bodies. I’m looking respectfully. Lord.

- Instant Henry panic. Alex. Baby. Read the room. Poor Henry oh god.

- THE ROPE LINE AHHHHHH

- Almost love confession. Throws self into lake. Fucking hell.

- Him leaving. Even though the scene is sadder in the book I’m still fucking broken.

- Aww bby David

- If by “ended things” you mean you fucking ran. Dear lord.

- I’m living for this scene with Bea. Seeing more of this side of the story is lovely. It gives it more depth.

- This song is EVERYTHING

- It’s fascinating to see the aftermath from Henry’s side as opposed to Alex’s. I love that.

- Nervous Alex is everything. And I love him and Nora.

- I WANTED YELLING NOOOOOOO

- I know it wouldn’t have been realistic my possible but still. I was robbed.

- THE MAN I LOVE OH MY GOD

- “This is costing me everything”

- “I will not trade one prison for another”

- Somehow I love this scene just as much as the book version even though it’s so different

- “Don’t make me” oh GOD

- THE MUSEUM THE MUSEUM THE MUSEUM

- Now I know they they looked so heavy in this scene. I have been wondering that for ages.

- His smile at Alex putting the song on so they can dance. And the way Alex smiles at him. Oh my god. And how they hold each other. They look so damn happy.

- FUCK MY LIFE FUCK MY LIFE THAT WAS BETTER THAN IT BEING IN AN EMAIL

- He’s so nervous giving him the ring. I’m dead. And the fucking key. I love them so much.

- “I’ll be as patient as you need”

- That moment just before everything goes to absolute shit lol

- Whoa. Well. I didn’t see that coming. That happened very different. And actually I’m very glad I’m seeing it though Henry’s lens

- USING THE FUCKING POLO MATCH PICTURE

- Fucking Miguel. I fuck hate that asshole.

- CALL HIS ASS OUT

- Alex’s speech is beautiful

- “The forced conformity of the closet cannot be answered with forced conformity of coming out of it.” 👏👏👏

- ALL THESE LITTLE FUCKING SCENES OF GOD

- My lord Zahra is everything

- Alex just went through so many emotions

- “Touch me and die”

- I JUST MADE INHUMAN SOUNDS

- BABY

- IM COMING TO LONDON TONIGHT

- HURRY PLEASE

- ILL BREAK THE SOUND BARRIER FOR YOU

- Lord, it should be illegal for someone to look that good in a t-shirt

- Then playing piano together is absolutely fucking everything

- “We really need to get you a book on English history”

- Henry baby I just want to protect you in a rainbow bubble forever

- “The king wishes to see you. Both of you.”

- He reached for his ring and Alex is wearing it. Oh GOD.

- Oh fuck RIGHT off Phillip

- How is Bea that fucking beautiful

- STEPHEN FUCKING FRY

- I love that Alex refers to him immediately and Henry doesn’t even bother to try not to accept it

- “I don’t want your protection, I want your support”

- FUCK OFF PHILLIP EVEN THE KING DOESN’T LIKE YOU

- GRABBING HIS HAND OH GOD

- Alex looks so fucking gobsmacked happy

- The kings face is sooooo good

- I want to punch Phillip in the face

- Ok, I’m actually loving the fact that the king isn’t saying it’s not real and he doesn’t believe it but that they shouldn’t do it because of “country”

- BEA IS THE LOVE OF MY LIFE

- There it is. There’s the tears. I knew they would come. This is everything.

- I actually kind of love the way they changed the king tbh

- I am sad we didn’t get some of the things that happened when they realized they were accepted

- Ok. Look. It’s obviously not a factual account. But that’s… just… not how election night would look.

- CASEY

- I’m so glad Henry is here with him for this

- Lol Alex saying it right as I type it

- IM SOBBING THIS IS EVERYTHING

- The bikes. The house. GOD!

- These end credit scenes of them are so funny. Just the way they showed them. I love it.

- The little pinky touch oh god

- DO YOU THINK ANYONE NOTICED

God. God. That was everything. I will have a follow up with coherent thoughts soon but lord. I’m so full of emotions.

It wasn’t perfect like we knew it never could be. But it was still everything.

[whenyoulosesmallmind]

the more i go over this drama, the more i am amazed at how theatrical it looks; as i said before, the camera work is very simple, may it be because it was 1969, may it be because it was made for tv, maybe it was even a conscious choice - but! the camera movements are so fluid in the way they follow the actors, focusing on the character's emotions and body language or distancing itself from the action to include thematics particulars from the set and give the scene more breath - im enamoured with how the kitchen scene with alyosha, ivan, smerdyakov and fyodor in the second episode is shot; first, the scene is set with a larger shot where grigory and smerdyakov are setting the table and fyodor and ivan are eating - might i add, giving ivan a cigar to smoke in this scene was chef kiss - then alyosha comes in and as the discussion progresses into more heavier themes the camera pans nervously from smerdyakov to ivan, the frame getting closer still, until it settles unto smerdyakov as he maniacally empasises his final points.

it seems like nothing, but i love this production's earnestness.

some more sparse notes:

absolutely mad props to the costume department; it's not exactly period accurate, but it's just so fitting - ivan's cunty coat he wears meeting with father zosima needs his own separate analysis post

i don't remember if this happens also in the original text - i will check - but even if in italian there's a semantic distinction between the kinds of "i love yous", "ti voglio bene" for familial/platonic love and "ti amo" for the romantic kind, for the adaptation is mantained the latter for every instance and it is making me insane and i need time to elaborate

speaking of semantic decisions, i don't know if it was more commonly used at the time, but they refer to grusha as "la grushenka" and the brothers call fyodor "babbo" instead than "papà" and it's so funny bcs putting the article before female names and referring to ones father as "babbo" are notorius quirks of the tuscanian dialect so-- the karamazovs have become tuscanians

also, "babbo" is used as a way of saying "dad" only in tuscany - and maybe other central/southern italian regions? idk i can only speak for tuscany - bcs in other dialects "babbo" is used as a synonim for "idiot/dumb". lmao

im not hundred percent sold on carla gravina as katerina, she has a bit more of a... manic? feel that i got from the katya from the book, more nervous, but we'll see, i wasn't completely sold on corrado pani as dmitrij as well initially and now im respectfully biting him, so -- though i loved her close up when she's calling dmitrij "villainous". v nice

that said, lea massari absolutely owned the hand kiss scene and i have no words to describe my emotions

another aside about corrado pani, his decision to play dmitrij just cuntily leaning on stuff and get into peoples' faces when he's talking to them was something i wasnt expecting to be so into but here i am

literally no one's doing it like him. later in this scene he asks alyosha if he was falling asleep while he was recounting his military adventures

[trickarrows-bishop]

EPISODE SIX OF HSMTMTS REACTION LIVE BLOGGED BY ME BECAUSE THE LAST ONE WAS FUNNY TO DO AND I WANNA DO IT AGAIN

again, get ready for this to be iNSANE xoxo

woah maddox you cant just appear on my screen and expect me to be ok like HOLD ON NOW-

no one told rina oh ur JOKING-

this'll be like. the worst. especially for ricky oh fuck.

miss jenn's mother's problematic twitter account??? did you mean miss jenn's mother's problematic X account ???

"bigger things" GIRL. miss jenn. no one. and i mean. NO ONE. puts on a show like you queen. stfu (respectfully ily)

"I WAS PLACING A VERY CONFUSING PHONE CALL" so true. i too am confused tbh

OH WAIT MADDOX IS RIGHT THERE WHAT

wait why wasn't jet there. huh.

MADDOX U INTERESTED BAE???

maddox stop hiding it and go kiss her i am TIRED.

BENJAMIN??? love that for him fr

"hahahah... oh u weren't kidding D:" i LOVE MADDOX TOO MUCH SHE BETTER NOT FUCK ASH OVER FFS

MISS JENN WE ARE NOT EXITTING SORRY WE HAVE TWO MORE EPISODES AND THIS ONE SOZ NOT HAPPENING BABES WE GOT A SHOW TO PUT ON XOXO

KOURT THAT FIT GDAMN

anyways she kinda spoke facts. although. im still scared of spiders. nothing can get rid of that fear

all the kourt x ashlyn shippers are about to make this scene their personality and i understand why tbh

FUCK ASH DIDN'T HAVE FRIENDS ??? IM SO IN LOVE WITH THIS SHOW WDYM ASH DIDN'T HAVE FRIENDS LOOK AT HER SHE'S LIKE. PERFRECT. FUCK

maddox stop being gay and just KISS ashlyn im so OVER this yearning (i literally do this.)

BENJAMIN !!UR STILL HERE!!! DONT U FKING DARE LEAVE ILY

BRO FR LOOKING LIKE AN EMOJI WAIT A MINUTE

go on benjamin SHOW EMOTIONS !!!

"i am jennifer !! you are?" "unsettled." i LOVE HIM LIKE A SON

nah that boyband faze for jet makes sense tbh like i can see that

AAWWWWWW BENJAMIN :(

can we pls get a new plot because we did in fact save the musical in season one within an episode. like. i KNOW i can probably skip this episode and not miss much

ALL OF THESE FLASHBACKS TO EPISODE ONE JESUS CHRIST AND UR NOT SHOWING NINI LOL I AM HURT

fuck homophobia AND ILYSM MISS JENN <3 I LOVE HER FUCK

not the mention of CATS BOY THAT AINT A GOOD MUSICAL WHY WE LYIN

SEB ????

FUCKING HELL CARLOS

"give him a chance carlos" MOTHER FR

now why are the whole ass drama class on this what the fuck LMAO

NATALIE RETURN OH MY GOD IM SHAKING LMFAO

this is so out of character like bro no ?? that's not making sense

NORTH HIGH WHAT NO

HE'S PLAYING THE **** SONG CARLOS COME ON

so real of richard bowen he said GAY RIGHTS !!!

SEBLOS GETTING BACK TOGETHER WOHOOOOO

GAYS WIN FR

the longest lasting relationship being seblos is so SO funny to me

YES GO TO HIM CARLOS

THANK GOD FOR THE GAYS

cant wait to cry to this song jesus christ

stop they're so in LOVE I CANT DO THIS

GAYS WON GAYS WON GAYS WON GAY RIGHTS GAY RIGHTS GAY RIGHTS SEBLOS SEBLOS SEBLOS SEBLOS

"us?" FUCK THIS IM SO FSKDAJGHFAKJSDGHFKDAS

now why am i not seeing seblos kiss HUH

"oh so she thinks im a leader?" GIRL STOP IT LMAO

rina scene before they even canonically met alr ???

NINI MENTION !!!!!!!!!!!!

"uncle buck?!" reaL REAL I LOVE THAT MOVIE HE NEARLY DRILLED INTO A GUYS HEAD

"good luck skater boy" hmmmmmmmmmmmm anyways

okay now give me a maddox flashblack

FR IT IS MURDER SHE WROTE SO REAL ???? I LOVE MURDER SHE WROTE !! (im an old person at heart)

GIVE ME MISS JENN BACKSTORY

MISS JENN BACKSTORY WOHOOOO

no WAY ALISON ???

SHE RECOGNISED HER HOLY FUCK WHOAAAAA

not the story of the girl at frozen puking again LMAO

"you should do it" DON'T TELL ME IT WAS ALISON WHO DID IT

"i always thought mrs darbus deserved a power ballad" REAL I LOVE HER

no NO NO GIFTS ??? UR NOT ACTUALLY LEAVING

QUEEN?

NO ??? WHAT THE FUCK

MISS JENN TF? NO GIRLIE.

NO

NOT THIS GOOD THING WE HAVE TWO EPISODES LEFT >:(

"i just got here tho :(" maddox ur so funny but NOT NOW

JET DONT BE AN ASS??

how r we gonna move on from this cuz i-

why am i not crying but was crying over the caswen scenes ffs

OH NOW A SONG ???

emmy ???

EMMY !!!!

my daughter fr

11 mins left oh maybe i'll watch it all tonight HEHEHEH

come ONNNNNN EMMY IS SLAYING AGAIN

THIS IS ALSO WHERE I FIND OUT THATS NOT HOW U SPELL HER NAME

MADDOX AND ASH IN THE SAME FRAME IM DELULU

maddox dont look at ash like that cuz ill run w it.

SHE SUNG AT EAST HIGH WOOOOOOOOO

WHAT THE- ALISON READ?

WHA- UHM- BRO-

maddox IS the stage management

SHE WAS ABOUT TO SAY ILY ??// KFHS

WAIT MAYBE I CAN BE A RINA

I DIDNT THINK WE'D GET TO THE ILY FOR RINA SO

HE GOT IN WHOA LETS GO RICHARD

NO SHES ABT TO MOVE OR SOMETHIN I STG NO

ALR THAT EPISODE WENT QUICKER??? IDK MAYBE I JUST WASNT SHOUTING ABT MADLYN AS MUCH LMAO. conclusion:

show's still gay? YUPPERS seblos? YUPPERS maddlyn? ...hopefully yuppers???

[keefiswhoiam]

September 04 - 2024 Wednesday

10:46pm

5.5/10

I had planned to get groceries on Thursday originally but mom said she was already going to Seeley to pick up stuff from the store so I figured I'd save her a trip and go with her today. We also went later than I wanted but I easily let go of that because I'm trying to get used to things not going perfectly. As long as I was taken to get groceries, thats what mattered. Mom didn't talk about politics or Jesus at all which was a rare treat. She also agreed to follow me in the store with a calculator to add up an estimate of my bill as I went which helped me keep it around the $250 range successfully. This Tristan guy was my bag person and I asked him if he was the same Tristan I went to school with. I knew he was but he didn't recognize me and implied I looked much younger than 28. After that we went the liquor and weed stores and mom bought me some popcorn chicken from the ice cream place which I haven't had in maybe a decade.

I had a hard time doing work today because my eyes hurt since I woke up and I REALLY didn't wanna do it but I keep motivating myself by reminding myself of who I want to be. I take pride in being an artist who can buckle down and get to work and do a good job almost every time. Usually after I start, it's not so bad anymore anyways. I did put today's request off until tomorrow though so TK and I could get in VR and paint together for the first time. She's not an artist at all and thought it would be fun if I guided her a bit.

It went well, she seemed to have a lot of fun and showed a lot of progression in 3 hours. Thats always to be expected when someone tries something new and means it. She actually made something kinda deep while life drawing my horse and it had me feeling a bit.

I said it reminds me of myself running through the emotional chaos in my life chasing this magical fairy thats not even real. WX said it feels exactly like when he's heard me talk about my struggles and what it means to be running towards something I know I want even if I don't know what it is. And this is indeed how I feel.

Also WX was singing out loud a lot and it got pretty annoying just because I don't like hearing people sing out loud randomly, especially to music I don't know.

DS also joined me to paint after a break from VR. She drew Draculaura and I sketched her avatar real quick. I mostly watched her because my eyes hurt and I just did not want to paint anymore.

I am so so so so tired in general. I have been for a long time. Or empty in some way. I don't know. But as decrepit as my heart might be, I try so hard to be a good friend and a beacon to those around me. I just don't think I do a very good job sometimes. I think deep down most people can tell that I'm not all there and not really connecting to them. It feels isolating and scary because I want so badly to connect but I almost never can and I've been trying so hard for so long. The only thing that keeps me going is the drive to keep chasing this thing I know I want even if I don't know how to foster it effectively yet. I know like everything I refuse to give up on, it will click eventually. I just hope it clicks in time because it feels like I have a time limit.

I keep detecting that I need my space, I need more of that time to be myself by myself. But I'm scared of it too. Maybe Im scared it won't work and I'll have wasted time or that it's not even the real problem. It also feels kinda bad to neglect anyone in order to do my own thing. I do have a lot of time where no one is requesting my company but I'm always treating myself like I have to be ready at a moment's notice just in case someone important reaches out. I gotta start saying no more, respectfully. Like yes I really do want to hang out but I need some time for myself, so no.

[uceyliyahh]

WRITTEN IN RED

summary: Tamaya tends to keep to herself, only opening up to her best friend. During a tumultuous time with her obsessive ex-boyfriend, Tre, who constantly disrupted her life and pulled her back in whenever it suited him, everything shifted when she unexpectedly crossed paths with Jey.

this fanfic is 18+ NO MINORS ALLOWED

warnings contain: depression, stalking, domestic violence, emotional abuse.

word count: 5.6k

AWFUL GRAMMAR IM GETTING BETTER I SWEAR LOL.

smut warning: it’ll come in the story randomly so PLEASE PLEASE look out for it I’m not really good a writing ✍🏽 smuts but I am improving at the moment.

Jey Uso x Tamaya

comments, likes, repost are appreciated I would love the constructive feedback in what area I need to approve in. 🤍

ALSO! I don’t not want nobody stealing my fanfics or take it as theirs that will be an issue fasho so keep it cute respectfully.

I only own my OC along with the make up scenarios

again mdni you have been warned.

TAGS ⬇️ lmk if you wanna be tag 🏷️@pinkwithhearts @420days @jstarr86 @empressdede @angiedawn02 @biancasreign @prettyfilmz @bookuce @bloodlineslut

@bebesobrielo @skyesthebomb @aikosilo @papireigns-05 @punksyeet @paigereeder @magnificentbouquetmusic @sheaabuttaababyy @formulafortyfour @theusotwinzcom

@charmed-dreamssss @fearlesschimera @partypoison00 @mselenalovebug @bloodlinesbabe93 @justazzi @xbriexx @luvrsluxe @celesteheartsjey @4milly @luuvprincess @yyaktayak @yana3sworld @theusotwinzcom @hoisucooll @sharmelasworld @shanthefemalerapper

𝔘𝔫𝔬

𝕺𝖒𝖓𝖎𝖘𝖈𝖎𝖊𝖓𝖙 🤍

Tamaya was engaged in a conversation at work with a parent regarding their child's weight and growth. She shared a chart that illustrated the child's progress over the months, reassuring the parent that they were doing a commendable job in monitoring their child's weight. Tamaya had a passion for working with children and valued the connections she built with parents, all to ensure that their little ones remained healthy.

Upon completing her nursing degree, she embarked on a journey to shape her life according to her own desires. However, it wasn't all smooth sailing; her tumultuous past with her obsessive ex-boyfriend, Tre, cast a shadow over her newfound independence. He would frequently appear at her apartment uninvited, intent on undermining her confidence, only to later manipulate her emotions in a way that left her feeling diminished.

Their relationship took a turn for the worse when he dove into his rap career and spent more time on the streets with his friends. As he became more immersed in that lifestyle, he grew increasingly possessive of her. He would check her phone to ensure she was being faithful, and whenever things didn’t go his way, he resorted to violence, only to quickly apologize afterward, revealing his manipulative nature.

She constantly pointed fingers at his friends, claiming they were the reason for his transformation and the shift in his behavior. After earning her degree, she reached a breaking point; she could no longer tolerate his nonsense. When she attempted to walk away for the first time, he broke down in tears, pleading with her to remain. She fell for his manipulation, only to find herself further hurt and emotionally scarred by his actions.

On the second occasion, he found her stealthily slipping out of the house in the dead of night, her bags in tow. He quickly grabbed her and pulled her back inside. Tamaya felt like giving in, but then she resolved to reach out to her best friend Sakshi for assistance whenever he was away.

After her best friend came to her aid, she successfully secured an apartment far from him, hoping he wouldn’t track her down. Unfortunately, she was mistaken; one of his friends discovered her location and informed Tre about it later.

She vividly remembered lying in a hospital bed, her rib cage swathed in bandages, the rhythmic beeping of the monitors surrounding her. It was in that moment she understood that Tre had nearly taken her life during the brutal assault.

Tamaya vividly remembered the terrifying times when her best friend was in tears, consumed by worry for her. Tre's refusal to let her go pushed Tamaya to take action; she opted to file for a restraining order against him. With no one else to turn to, she made the choice to relocate to Atlanta alongside her best friend.

In the present moment, after finishing her conversation with the parent and assessing the child's vital signs, she informed the parent that the doctor would soon arrive to provide further information. The parents expressed their gratitude as she exited the room. Glancing at her Apple Watch, she realized it was time for her lunch break. She made her way to the lunchroom to retrieve her lunch bag from the refrigerator before clocking out for her break.

Tamaya assured Sakshi that they would get together for lunch, as Sakshi mentioned she had a surprise in store for her that evening, though she kept the details under wraps because of Tamaya's work commitments. With that in mind, Tamaya picked up her purse and car keys, making her way to the vehicle parked in front of the building.

She climbed into her car, setting her purse and lunch bag on the passenger seat. As she inserted the keys and started the engine, she buckled her seatbelt and drove off to her best friend's workplace.

Tamaya pulled up her car and parked right in front of the building where her best friend worked as a daycare worker. After switching off the engine, she picked up her lunch bag and made her way to the entrance. She knocked on the door and stood there patiently, eager for someone to let her in. While waiting, she took her phone from her pocket to check for any incoming messages. To her delight, she found a text from Tre waiting for her.

Regardless of how often she blocked him, he consistently returned to belittle her, hurling disrespectful remarks aimed at diminishing her spirit.

Tre💔 sent a message

||Tre💔: you think just bc you moved to Atlanta doesn’t mean I don’t have my people down there watching you and giving me feed back? why did you have to leave me huh? when all I did was love you and helped you out playing your college classes this how you do me? Ungrateful bitch.

She had no choice but to leave him on read and move forward; there was nothing more she could do. Just then, the door swung open, drawing her gaze to her best friend, who stood there beaming. She rushed over and embraced her tightly.

“Heyyy bestie, c’mon girl before these kids escape this house.” Sakshi said.

Tamaya stepped into the house and noticed the children happily engaged in their own activities, while the babies peacefully napped on the opposite side of the room. She and Tamaya made their way to the kitchen, where they settled into a wooden chair. As they sat down, Tamaya began to unpack her lunch from the bag she had prepared earlier that morning.

As they sat down to enjoy their lunches, Sakshi started to speak. “How’s your day been Maya?” She asked.

���Same old, same old. Like usual girl how about you? Seems like these kids are well behaved.” Tamaya replied eating her chicken salad.

Sakshi scoffed at her while rolling her eyes in the process, “girl it’s because they be getting ass whooping’s at home from they people I don’t do all of that so that the parent can cuss me out.” Tamaya nodded her head listening to her best friend attentively.

“So what did you have planned for us tonight? Since you didn’t get the chance to tell me before I left.”

Sakshi aimed her fork at her plate, nearly forgetting the important details she needed to share with Tamaya about her plans for the evening.

“Thank you for reminding me girl I almost forgot due to these kids running round’ here like crazy but I was thinking we should head to the club tonight.” Tamaya's eyes grew wide upon learning that her best friend wanted to hit the club, especially considering how much of an introvert she was. She wasn't the kind of person who enjoyed being out in public, particularly with Tre's friends keeping an eye on her.

“I dont know about that Saki you know how I am about being out in the public.”

“Why? Because of Tre? Girl we live in ATL.”

“Yeah, but he has people here too Saki, look I’m just saying let’s just be careful tonight he’s already texting me some crazy shit.”

Sakshi nodded in agreement with her best friend, fully aware of the challenges Tamaya had faced since they relocated to Atlanta to escape Tre. Despite their efforts to start fresh, Tre remained a constant presence in their lives, monitoring everything around them. He was particularly vigilant about Tamaya, ensuring she didn’t form any “new friendships” while they settled into their new home, fully aware of his controlling nature.

“Girl, I know you don’t want hear this from me but. It’s time for you to find a new nigga and live your life.” Sakshi said.

“Saki, are you fucking insane? I can’t with Tre stalking me like a fucking lion.” She replied.

“Fuck that nigga Maya he has put you through hell and back especially putting you in the hospital wondering why we moved down here in the first place.”

Tamaya found it hard to listen to her best friend's advice, even though deep down she knew it was time to let go and embrace her own life. Fear gripped her, and anxiety began to seep in, making it even more difficult to move forward. The hurtful words he had thrown at her echoed in her mind: how she "wasn't good enough," how he had "shaped her into who she is," and how "no man would ever care about her career, only wanting her for physical pleasure."

The situation would plunge her into a deep depression for weeks. She already bore scars on her arms from past attempts to escape the pain he caused her. Yet, without her best friend by her side, she knows she wouldn’t have made it through to today.

“So what do you think? Heading to the club tonight to get turnt up or what?”

Tamaya laughed softly at her, nodding in agreement as she wrapped up her lunch. She tucked the remnants back into her lunch bag, zipping it closed before reaching for her water bottle and taking a refreshing sip.

“That’s my girl! We are going to look so good tonight!” Tamaya completed packing her lunch as she rose from the chair, sliding it back into place.

Sakshi escorted her best friend Tamaya to the door, where Tamaya waved goodbye to the children. They instantly recognized her and rushed in for a hug, making her laugh at their adorable antics.

“Imma see you at home bestie?” Sakshi asked.

“Yeah, I’ll be home after work so we can head out tonight.” Tamaya replied before heading out the door.

Tamaya and Sakshi embraced warmly before Tamaya stepped out the door and made her way to her car. Once inside, she set her lunch bag on the passenger seat, inserted her keys into the ignition, and started the engine, ready to return to work.

She felt a knot of anxiety about the evening ahead, wishing for a chance to enjoy herself without his entourage hovering around like they were undercover agents. It struck her as deeply unfair to endure this situation, especially since he was the one who had set everything in motion by getting involved in the streets.

Had he chosen a different path, they might still be together, enjoying the happiness they once shared as a couple.

After a long day at work, Tamaya finally arrived home. She parked her car beside her best friend's vehicle, which was already in the apartment's driveway. As she turned off the engine, she gathered her belongings and made her way to the front door, jingling her keys as she prepared to unlock it.

As soon as she completed that task, she swung open the door and spotted her best friend lounging in the living room, engrossed in her favorite show on the wall-mounted TV. Tamaya set her belongings down on the nearby sofa, slipping off her shoes and neatly placing them on the shoe rack attached to the wall.

“What time are we leaving?” Tamaya asked heading towards the kitchen to get her something to drink.

“I was waiting on you to come home so that I could dress you up for tonight,” Sakshi replied with a smile on her face.

“Girl, please don’t dress me nothing slutty alright?” Sakshi chuckled at her as she got up from the couch dragging her best friend upstairs towards her bedroom, “damn girl wait a min now, I gotta take a shower!”

Fresh from a soothing warm shower, Tamaya stood with a towel snugly wrapped around her body. She glanced up at her best friend, who was already dressed and beaming with excitement, showcasing the outfit she had carefully chosen for her.

Tamaya's ensemble was adorable, featuring a black crop top paired with denim shorts. As she prepared for her day, she applied coconut lotion to her skin, filling the room with a delightful coconut aroma.

With skillful hands, she applied her makeup and smoothed out her blonde wig, which perfectly complemented her complexion. As she added the finishing touch of lip gloss, she rubbed her lips together, creating a satisfying “pop” sound. Tamaya rose from the chair and approached the mirror, admiring her reflection to ensure she was ready to dazzle tonight.

She caught sight of the scars on her wrist, including one along the side of her rib cage, which triggered vivid memories of the brutal fight with Tre. It was during that confrontation that he had stabbed her with a knife, leading to her hospitalization.

She longed to celebrate her scars, proudly displaying the journey she had endured. No longer did she wish to conceal her past; in her heart, she was a survivor. As her best friend entered the bedroom, she noticed Tamaya gazing at her marks, a testament to her strength.

“Hey, I’m glad you’re still here Maya.” She said softly as Tamaya gave her a faint smile on her face.

“Yeah, I’m glad that I’m here too.”

“But, our uber is here so make sure you have everything including the keys to the crib just in case I get drunk.” Tamaya chuckled at her pushing Sakshi towards the door.

Tamaya double-checked that she had her phone and the keys linked to her car as they made their way downstairs. Just as they reached the door, she felt her phone vibrate. Pulling it from her purse, she noticed another text message from Tre.

Tre💔 sent a message

|| Tre💔: don’t forget I’m watching you Tay I’m always watching you princess

Tamaya double-checked that she had her phone and the keys linked to her car as they made their way downstairs. Just as they reached the door, she felt her phone vibrate. Pulling it from her purse, she noticed another text message from Tre.

Tamaya hopped into the Uber, closing the door with a soft click as she settled beside Sakshi. As she secured her seatbelt, she engaged the driver in conversation, chatting about their day and various topics while the driver navigated the route to their destination.

Gazing out the window, she admired the stars twinkling brilliantly in the night sky, accompanied by the gentle glow of the half crescent moon watching over her. Memories flooded back of her flight to Atlanta with her best friend, a journey that marked her escape from Tre. She had finally decided she could no longer endure the way he treated her.

At times, he would exude such charm that he could draw her in exactly where he wanted her, only to inflict emotional harm, dismantling her bit by bit until she reached her breaking point. This relentless torment often drove her to self-harm as a way to cope.

He had no idea what she was up to, nor did he have any interest in discovering it. She was determined to remain by his side until she completed nursing school. It was only after that, when she made the choice to leave him for her best friend.

When Tre discovered that she had walked away from him, he spiraled into a deep despair. His emotional turmoil led him to wreak havoc in his home, and in his frantic state, he bombarded her phone with calls, oblivious to the fact that she had already blocked him. In a desperate attempt to locate her, he enlisted the help of a friend, who eventually uncovered that she had relocated to Atlanta.

He had no intention of letting her slip away without a fight, and if anyone dared to take her from him, he would storm in and eliminate them right then and there.

At last, they arrived at the club, expressing their gratitude to the Uber driver before stepping out of the car. The parking lot was bustling with vehicles, some even parked on the grass. Sakshi eagerly pulled Tamaya toward the entrance, and as they entered the building, they were greeted by the sight of a lively dance floor filled with people.

As the infectious beats of "Greedy" by Tate McRae filled the air, Sakshi and Tamaya lost themselves on the dance floor, moving in sync with one another. They hadn’t even settled into their seats yet, but the energy was electric, and they were already in high spirits. This was exactly the escape Sakshi craved—a chance to revel in the moment without a care in the world.

“Girrrl, c’mon so we can get to our seats girl.” Tamaya said.

Tamaya took hold of Sakshi's hand and led her to a pair of vacant seats, setting their purses on the sofa before settling in. They were eager to kick back and enjoy some drinks. Soon, the waiter arrived with a bottle of Don Julio and Hennessy, along with a chaser, just in case they wanted to mix things up.

“Oh, girl we finna be fucked up tonight. Hopefully we can make it home.” Sakshi said.

Sakshi and Tamaya started downing shots one after another, fully immersed in the rhythm of the music as they made their way back to the dance floor. Tamaya began to dance provocatively on her best friend, while Sakshi cheered her on, singing the lyrics in unison.

“So don’t be greedy!” Tamaya felt a warm rush as the Don Julio began to take effect in her system.

At the same time, Jey was hanging out with his cousins and brothers, with Seanna nearby, sipping on beers and chatting about family matters and wrestling. As they engaged in conversation, Jey's attention was suddenly drawn to a striking woman on the dance floor. She was dressed in a black crop top and denim shorts, complemented by stylish fur boots. She looked absolutely stunning—beyond impressive, really.

He took another gulp of his beer when he heard his cousin Zilla calling for him, drawing his focus.

“What’s up Uce?” He replied.

“I was saying how we gonna plan out this cookout this weekend?” Zilla said.

“Like we always do Uce, you know Takecia brings the boys for the weekend and comes to get them Monday.” Jey's attention returned to the girl as she playfully danced, clearly having a great time with her best friend. He found it entertaining, especially since he had never seen her around before.

His twin brother Jimmy caught on that his sibling's focus had shifted elsewhere. Glancing down at the dance floor, he spotted a girl dancing closely with her best friend, which made him smirk.

“Who got your attention Uce?”

“Shawty down there with her friend, I’m finna holla at her.”

Seanna raised an eyebrow at him when he said that like she didn’t exist. “Nigga you finna do what?” Causing Jey to sigh deeply while rolling his eyes.

“Don’t worry about it Seanna I’ll be back.” Jey took one last gulp of his beer before heading to the dance floor, where Tamaya and Sakshi were lost in their own universe. Oblivious to the world around them, Sakshi tilted another shot of Don Julio into Tamaya's mouth, and she eagerly swallowed it down.

“Hell yeah bestie!” Sakshi shouted hyping her friend up.

Tamaya was lost in her own world, swaying to the rhythm of the music when she suddenly felt a presence behind her. Initially thinking it was Sakshi, she was taken aback to find a tall, muscular man standing close. Instinctively, she wanted to shove him away, but the effects of the drinks made her too carefree to act. Instead, she kept dancing, her hand draped around the back of his neck while his arm encircled her waist, his face nestled against her shoulder.

“I never seen you around here before, what’s yo’ name mama?” Jey whispered gently, his lips nearly brushing against her earlobe.

“Tamaya or Maya for short whatever you want to call me, what’s your name?” She responded while gazing into his deep chocolate brown eyes.

“Joshua, but my people over there call me Jey or Josh.” Joshua, huh? That name actually sounds quite fitting for this impressive individual.

He looked deep into her rich chocolate brown eyes, feeling her body press against him, causing a noticeable tension to build in his jeans. “you’re pretty as hell not going lie,”

A warm flush spread across her cheeks as he praised her, a rare occurrence since her time with Tre had dulled such sweet words.

“Thank you, you’re handsome yourself are you mixed with anything?” He shook his head. “Nah, I’m Samoan little mama.” Samoan? Her best friend raved about the Samoan men, claiming they are incredibly handsome and fiercely loyal.

“You are the most pretty Samoan man I ever seen for my first time living down here.” She said hearing a chuckle coming from his lips.

“Hm, maybe I could show you around sometime.” Tamaya felt uncertain, even with Tre keeping a watchful eye on her from every angle.

“I’m a dangerous girl Mr Joshua.” He let out a soft laugh as he gazed into her eyes, then shifted his focus to her lips. “How dangerous are we talking hm?”

The alcohol was affecting her intensely, enveloping her body in a warm, fuzzy sensation, while a playful smirk danced across her lips.

“Very dangerous to the point where my ex could get you sir.” Tamaya spoke in a hushed voice, her tone dripping with an irresistible allure.

Jey glanced over her shoulder and surveyed the club before returning her gaze to meet her eyes, a playful smirk dancing on her lips. “Ion’ see his ass anywhere he must be a dummy leaving a pretty girl like yourself here shi probably won’t even be mad if I kiss you right now.” Tamaya was far from clear-headed, but honestly, she didn’t give a damn about how Tre would react to her kissing someone else.

“Kiss me then since you’re so addicted to my lips staring at them all night.” Without a moment's pause, Jey seized her throat gently, leaning in to press his lips against hers as they lost themselves in a passionate kiss on the dance floor.

Her closest friend witnessed the entire scene play out before her, cheering her on as Tamaya flashed a playful middle finger, grinning during the kiss while his tongue explored her mouth, the taste of beer lingering from him.

The kiss was languid and intense, pulling her into a daze as she grasped his mullet, craving more from him. This was uncharacteristic for her; she had only known this man for a matter of minutes, yet here she was, allowing him to explore her mouth with his tongue.

His lips glided along her jawline, descending to her neck, igniting a whirlwind of sensations as his warm, lingering kisses met her skin. “S-shit..” a moan a slipped out from her lips feeling his lips form into a smirk.

“What’chu doing later tonight?” He murmured.

“I got work in the morning.” She said softly.

He drew back from her neck, and she noticed his lips had taken on a deep pink hue from their kisses on her lips and skin, gazing up at his towering frame.

“Did you and yo’ friend drive here?” Tamaya shook her head, indicating that they had arrived by Uber.

“I can take yall home if you want me to.”

“That’s fine with us when can’t get a uber in this condition anyways.” Tamaya said.

He asked them to hold on while he went to let his people know he was bringing them home. She complied, making her way over to her best friend, who wore a smug grin. Tamaya couldn't help but roll her eyes at her. “Don’t start bitch.”

“Girl no prepare to be sick of me for the rest of the week!” Sakshi shouted as Tamaya nudge her arm.

Jey drove Tamaya and her best friend back to their apartment, the sweet sound of her gentle snores from the front seat making him smile. However, his gaze fell upon the scars on her arms and the side of her rib cage, stirring a sense of concern in him as he pondered what might have caused them.

It wasn't his place to know anything about her until he truly understood her. He pulled into their driveway and switched off the engine, gently nudging Tamaya to wake her, which also stirred her best friend, who began rubbing her eyes.

“Hey miss sleeping beauty you’re home.” Jey said softly.

“Thank you for the ride home,” Tamaya responded while picking up her purse and keys for the apartment.

As she stepped out of his car, he quickly followed suit, hurrying to her side to open the door for her, aware that she still had a hint of alcohol in her system. She flashed him a smile as he closed the door behind her, then walked alongside her and Sakshi toward their entrance.

He found himself unable to look away as her curves swayed enticingly in her jean shorts while she ascended the stairs. Once they arrived at their apartment door, she effortlessly swung it open, allowing Sakshi to stumble in first, clearly the most inebriated of the group, leaving Tamaya and Jey standing together outside.

Tamaya felt a wave of shyness wash over her as she tucked her hair behind her ear, her gaze fixed on her feet, unsure of how to respond. It wasn't until he gently lifted her chin, encouraging her to meet his eyes, that she found her voice. "Thank you once more, Joshua."

“It’s no problem mamas, just wanted to be sure yall made it home safely being a drunk and shit.” Jey replied to her as they both laughed with each other.

Just as she was about to step into her apartment, he wrapped his arms around her waist, drawing her nearer to him. “What’chu doing this weekend?”

“I don’t have anything planned why?”

“My people are having a cookout this weekend if you wanted to slide through you and yo’ best friend.” She felt uncertain about whether she could handle it, especially knowing that she was likely being observed at that very moment, possibly waiting for text messages from Tre.

But did she give a damn about Tre? No

But was she scared of what he could do? Yes

According to what she gathered, Samoan men are fiercely protective of the women in their lives, whether in family ties or otherwise; they take this responsibility seriously and do not take it lightly.

Tamaya became aware that she had not responded to his question while gazing into his eyes, where he remained patiently awaiting her reply.

“Sure, I wouldn’t mind going just send me the addy and I’ll be there.” She said giving him a smile.

The moment he saw her smile, something stirred within him that he had never experienced before. The sight of her sporting her own grills only deepened his admiration for her.

They remained in that embrace for a moment, until he inched closer, mirroring her movements. Their lips met once more in a gentle kiss, prompting her to wrap her arms around his neck as she rose onto her tiptoes.

“So fucking dangerous.” Jey murmured between the kiss.

His hands settled on her backside, gripping her cheeks firmly, which surprised her momentarily, but she pressed on. It was as if she were lost in a surreal dream, a hazy fantasy, wishing she would awaken at any moment.

They stepped back from one another, locking eyes as Jey leaned in to plant another kiss on her lips, relishing the moment. He ran his tongue along the bottom of his lips before tucking them in, gazing down at her petite frame.

“Go home boy,”

“Lemme’ get yo’ number real quick then I’ll go.” Tamaya sighed dramatically as she passed him her phone, watching him input his number with a hint of annoyance.

The moment she spotted the name he had written, her thoughts raced wildly. With a playful shove, she pushed him away as he started to descend the stairs, her gaze following him while she stepped into her apartment.

Tamaya spotted Sakshi peacefully dozing on the couch and couldn't help but chuckle as she made her way upstairs to her bedroom. As she began to undress on her way to the shower, her phone buzzed with a notification. Glancing at the screen, she noticed a message from Jey waiting for her.

ZaddyJey🤫💜 sent a message

|| ZaddyJey🤫💜: damn you got me addicted to you already mama😩

She chuckled at his message texting him back in the process.

Maya🪬: I told you I’m dangerous nd you ain’t listen to me that’s yo’ fault 🙂‍↕️

ZaddyJey🤫💜: man fuck allat I’m tryna get to know you

Maya🪬: Joshua go home I know you still out there in your car sir 😭

ZaddyJey🤫💜: sent me some pictures then I’ll go home

Maya🪬: can I take my shower first?

ZaddyJey🤫💜: my fault mama go ahead but imma head home don’t forget to send me some

Maya🪬: aight

She set her phone on the sink counter and stepped into the shower.

Once she finished her shower, she settled into her bed, gazing up at the ceiling. Memories of the kiss she shared with Jey flooded her mind. Despite barely knowing him, their kiss felt as if they had been connected for a lifetime.

His charming demeanor had a profound effect on her, sweeping her off her feet with an ease that both thrilled and frightened her. It reminded her of Tre, who could be so charming in public yet turned cold and dismissive when they were alone. But tonight was different with Jey. He was gentle and respectful, offering to take her home and planting a soft kiss on her lips that stirred something deep within her.

She couldn't quite identify what it was.

A buzz from her phone caught her attention as she reached for it on the small dresser beside her. Glancing at the screen, she noticed a text from Jey, and a wave of realization washed over her—she had nearly forgotten to send him some pictures. But did she truly want to share them, considering how little she actually knew him?

ZaddyJey🤫💜 sent a message

|| ZaddyJey🤫💜: where them pictures at? Don’t be shy 🙈

Tamaya chuckled at his response started sending him pictures.

Maya🪬:

ZaddyJey🤫💜: fuck 😩

Maya🪬: oops sorry did I make you nut yourself?

ZaddyJey🤫💜: very funny little mama but damn you look cute as hell girl

Maya🪬: thank you I’m getting a lot of compliments coming from you and I barely even know you 😭😭

ZaddyJey🤫💜: you’ll get to know me more fasho I’m very open minded don’t have no shame about my life

Maya🪬: okay period

ZaddyJey🤫💜: whatchu finna do rn?

Maya🪬: I’m finna head to bed I gotta get up early in the morning for work

ZaddyJey🤫💜: what’chu do for work?

Maya🪬: I’m a pediatric nurse I work with children

ZaddyJey🤫💜: for real? That’s wassup I bet you making good money huh?

Maya🪬: something like that hbu?

ZaddyJey🤫💜: I’m a professional wrestler

Maya🪬: the ones I be seeing on TV when I was little kid? Where you put them through tables?

ZaddyJey🤫💜: Hell yeah yk yo’ stuff huh?

Maya🪬: please 😭 I only know a little bit about it

ZaddyJey🤫💜: mhm what made you come to Atlanta?

Maya🪬: I just wanted to be in a new environment with my best friend ofc living in Cali wasn’t the move for me

ZaddyJey🤫💜: aye I’m from Cali too shi we got a lot in common mama

Maya🪬: yeah we do which is surprising lol 😭

ZaddyJey🤫💜: what part?

Maya🪬: San Francisco

ZaddyJey🤫💜: shiiii me too! Damn I’m starting to like you already

Maya🪬: 🙂‍↕️

ZaddyJey🤫💜: I know you probably tired so I’ll text you in the morning aight?

Maya🪬: aight goodnight Joshua 🩷

ZaddyJey🤫💜: goodnight mamas ❤️

Tamaya set her phone down on the small dresser and settled into the bed, pulling the blanket over herself. She wriggled and shifted, seeking the perfect position to feel cozy.

Something felt off, and she couldn't quite put her finger on it. Sleep eluded her for reasons she couldn't understand. Was it Jey's influence, or perhaps her longing for him to be beside her in the same bed?

She realized that whatever was weighing on her mind had to be set aside for now. So, she took a deep breath, closed her eyes, and allowed herself to drift off into a peaceful slumber.

Her phone vibrated twice, but she was sound asleep, completely unaware of the notifications.

Tre💔 sent two messages

|| Tre💔: I heard you kiss another nigga at a club with your hoe ass friend? You think this shit is a game Maya? I told you I will kill any nigga that get close to you.

|| Tre💔: I fucking made you Maya that nigga won’t love you the way I did don’t ever fucking forget that

itstrevon, therealsaki, uceyjucey, and others liked your post

babytaytay: outside tonight 🤪

itstrevon: outside being hoe kissing on another nigga knowing how crazy I am for you

babytaytay: @ itstrevon nigga fuck you respectfully I do what I want

therealsaki: girrrl we was lit last night and don’t think I forgot about what happened between you and the dude

babytaytay: @ therealsaki girl please stfu don’t start 😭😭

uceyjucey: fuck baby you looked so good tonight caught my attention quick

itstrevon: @ uceyjucey aye bitch ass nigga gtfo she belong to me

uceyjucey: @ itstrevon 🤨 last time I check she was along with her best friend didn’t see yo’ ass nowhere in sight at least I got a taste of her pretty ass lips

itstrevon: @ uceyjucey you must wanna fucking die bitch ass nigga

uceyjucey: @ itstrevon yo’ ass a bitch typing away still so I would trend lightly

Read all comments.

WRITTEN IN RED

a/n: ya’ll think Tre will stop Tamaya from going to the cookout or will Tamaya go regardless of what he says?

hope yall enjoy this chapter lmk in the comments below.⬇️

STAY UCEY

[amnesiaguy]

hello nathaniel!!!

so like seven(?) years ago when i was in middle school i sent you an ask that went something along the lines of 'is it okay to prefer pronouns other than he or she if you're cis?' and you replied So kindly 'im gonna be real with you anon if you prefer non-gendered pronouns you're probably not cis' which made me Think Thoughts and Feel Emotions, both of which i promptly repressed and buried because i was in middle school and that's what one does in middle school. best years of our lives etc.

anyways now i am three and a half years into an undergraduate degree and i came out as nonbinary a couple of years ago having FULLY forgotten ever sending you that message, and i just remembered the whole thing tonight while i was taking out the garbage and burst out laughing. i thought you might get a kick out of knowing that you were the very first person to look at me (round grey head and sunglasses and all) go "respectfully i think there may be something going on here." and you were very right.

so uhhhh cheers to you, and to every trans person in my life who listened patiently while i explained my nonbinaryness to an absolute T and then ended the sentence with 'but i'm cis' for half a decade. y'all are the real ones. <3

again anon i need to be real with you here this ask gave me immense ego death at the thought someone could have been following me in middle school, and in present day almost finished with an undergraduate degree. dear god. but also, congratulations!! i am so happy you feel settled in your identity & that you're doing well, i'm sending you love :)

[miintsprigz]

Ohio RTC live-blogging

I watched the Saturday stream, and I documented my thoughts because hyperfixation goes brrrr

HEADS UP

there was a lot of ableism in the chat (I do discuss what it entails below so you’ve been warned) so I was distracted at the end of the stream

-Karnak’s frantic tone during the accident + freeze frame moment, very cool

-them holding up the prizes

-Constance’s mumbled “sorry”

-post-possession Noel and Mischa stuff is so good (the o.e face and shoulder shake)

-I don’t like Ricky’s disability being stolen again, but I do like the fact that they’re happy that he’s happy, seems to be “bro”ing it up with Mischa a bit, I do love that

-JANE! (OVERANALYZES LIKE CRAZY) The way she tips her head a lot like it doesn’t fit her body comfortably. She sounds so timid…awww, honey…she moves a bit like her body is off-balance from the new head, I love the details

-I see evidence of platonic (at least) spacedolls already. Ricky waved at Jane!!!

-BREASTMILK CHEESE SANDWICH EATING BLEGH

-even in the “ocean’s life” segment Jane’s movements are just a BIT off. I think it’s cool when the Jane is taller in the cast, makes me think of a Barbie/pos

Poor gal seems real uncomfy in those lenses tho, can’t blame her

-all of the cast looks like they’re having the time of their life

-Mischa’s mannerisms are already cracking me up

-I am appreciating Noel very much in this production tbh, very sharp-tongued and excellent emoting in the face

-Jane’s delivery of That One Line (I hear it gives you an—)

-despite the small theatre and tech limits because of that, they really do well getting the point across with the props

-gosh props to Noel that change takes too long even in the main show, but he works it

-RICKY’S LIL SHIMMY IN THE BEGINNING OF NOEL’S LAMENT AND HE SEEMS TO ACTUALLY BE PLAYING ACCORDION!!!

-CAN ALL MISCHAS EVERYWHERE STOP BEING SO PRETTY, RESPECTFULLY!!

-THAT NOIR FILM IN THE BACK, I LOVE!

-ngl I’m in love with this Ricky

-these dances are so fun!

-not a ton of Nischa in here with the end of the lament but—

-Constance’s “w h y” after the F word joke

-B O N S O I R

-them adding improv in ESGAL is a bit silly, but oh, RuPaul ref. That blindsided me lol

-RICKY AND JANE ARE GROOVING TO MISCHA’S INTRO TOGETHER AWWWW THEYRE HAVING SO MUCH FUN!!!

-they seem to be sort of un-possessed in TSIA, and Mischa seems a bit more friendly in this production so I think that fits decently

-RICKY HAS A LOW RANGE HEYYYY (Debby Ryans)

-I love how they try to make it like he can’t remember his rap—or can he actually not remember? Either way they played it off like it was on purpose and I appreciate that

-interesting how Jane’s a stand-in for Talia, cuz she could be anyone, she’s a blank body sorta

-I love the dances so so much, how they seem to be fencing Mischa in, and HE SINGS SO WELL, they did their best with the projector and got it across

-The way he just SITS DOWN AWWWW HON HE LOOKS SO SAD

-NOEL AND MISCHA HUG? NOEL AND MISCHA HUG!!!! AWWWWW IM CRYIN they seem so genuine about that whole part! person I’ve tagged said they noticed Mischa is audibly crying for quite a bit, poor dear

-again, Mischa encourages Ricky, I appreciate this! They see the Ricky and Mischa friendship supremacy!!!

-Mischa and Jane acting like generally strange parents and tHE FAKE ACTION SCENES which I genuinely think should have been in the original

-the implication that zolar daydreams came from food poisoning, this poor lad, I know it’s not exclusive to this version but dang

-this Ricky is just very captivating, I think this is a part that takes a lot of…uhhh, chutzpah, to play

-(sees Jane being a very passionate kitty) … (adds to spacedolls evidence folder)

-hehe I love that Mischa is Count Dogula

-also that black hole sound frequency reference made me so happy (“68 octaves below the middle C”)

-this Mischa has ADHD imo and I live for it

-AW JANE HAS SUCH A TINY MEMORY BOX. …big enough for a head. Cruel.

-they really worked with what they had for the background on Jane’s song. The way she blends into the scenery fits. That’s what she’s been doing this whole show. Also her trying so hard to grab her memory box and it’s always out of reach ;A;

-HER VOICE IS EXCELLENT this is impressing me in a bigger way than I thought it would

-the shadows moving!!! the way she can kind of recall knowing them, but not enough to know their faces or names

-the circling with the lights does make me think she’s falling, and the fact that she’s holding an umbrella…and sounds like she’s crying at the end…she’s so alone dude, I care her

-that last note was like a final scream

-Noel and Jane interaction!!! something I never see!!! I love it!

-Ricky is so gentle with Jane ;-;

-THEYRE HAVING FUN!!! SO CUTE!!!

-(chat is ableist about someone either ticcing, stimming, or having a meltdown in the audience and distracts me)

-Sugarcloud was excellent sorry I was too busy being full of rage

-Piano go breaking noises

-“you will soar to great heights” o u c h

-THE GROUP HUG AND THE BACKWARDS ROLLERCOASTER SOUNDS

-AW CONSTANCE AND OCEAN AND RICKY AND NOEL SPINNING EACH OTHER

-MISCHA AND NOEL DANCING!

-THEYRE SO HAPPY

-ACAPELLA DREAM OF LIFE WITH GROUP HUG HITS REALLY DIFFERENTLY

Do I have criticism? Uhhh well it wasn’t perfect but hey, from what I saw they didn’t have a ton to work with (nobody’s fault there) and they used their resources well.

I also constantly have to remind myself of the fact that this show has a cast of at most eight people acting, and it makes sense that it’s difficult to remember all of your lines, and the fact that everybody has a solo song!!!

I dream of some day playing an alto Jane, although I doubt it will ever happen, but I’m not sure I’m talented enough to do with this cast attempted

Also frick the people in chat who were being jerks about that audience member. git gud, Ricky would hate you you’re breaking the one rule

[enhypia]

HS ; couples

couples answers questions with the choice of drinking instead of answering

pairings: lee heeseung x gn!reader

genre: fluff, angst if you squint really hard

words: roughly 1.4k

masterlist ⸺ series masterlist

~guides and warnings~

italics - reader speaking

bold - heeseung speaking

[enclosed] - interviewer speaking

italicized bold - both reader and heeseung speaking

[enclosed bold or italics] - question (depends on who's speaking)

heavily inspired by: rec.create lie detector games, cut truth or drink

warning: contains and mentions of !!! drinking, swearing

i don't promote underage drinking, save your livers

-ˋˏ✄┈┈┈┈┈┈┈┈┈┈┈┈┈┈┈┈┈

hi! i'm (y/n)

hello, my name is heeseung!

and we're together

we're couples!

[you guys were invited here today as couples for a fun little drinking game, you guys were aware of that right?]

yes

we are

[okay, for this game, questions will be asked and if you refuse to answer, you drink, it's that simple. should we start?]

let's go, i can't wait to drink

so you won't be answering the questions?

i mean, it's free alcohol

*hee shakes his head in disbelief

[how long have you been together?]

we actually just had our 3rd anniversary last week

so 3 years now <33

[how did you two meet?]

pffft- *(y/n) laughs

can we just choose pass

shot!

*hee offers the shot glass to (y/n) and both take a shot, laughing after

we're drinking this early on damn

we met through a mutual friend

i was brought as a wingman

i think you can guess how it went

[but how did you guys become a couple?]

we got closer after meeting and i think it was obvious to the both of us that we were interested in each other

yeah but it still took a lot in me to ask you out

he stuttered the first time he asked me on a date

did i?

*(y/n) laughs at the memory

you went "hey, so uh you wa-"

*hee cuts (y/n) off by squishing their cheeks

we don't need a reminder

*(y/n) swats his hand away

but it was cute, don't worry

*(y/n) pats his head making heeseung smile

[okay, how about we officially start the game now?]

*both nod and played rock paper and scissors to determine who gets to ask first, (y/n) wins

*(y/n) reads the card and chuckles

[was it love at first sight?]

it wasn't

like i said, i was supposed to be a wingman so in my head, they were already off limits

i don't believe in love at first sight so *(y/n) shrugs

[do you have/did you have doubts with us being together?]

goddamn *(y/n) drinks

*heeseung is wide-eyed

no honey, not like that, i will answer, it's just that i need the alcohol boost

*the shock goes away

i was about to shed tears not gonna lie

*(y/n) rolls their eyes

when i agreed to becoming heeseung's significant others, i had no doubts, i knew what i felt was true and i knew his was too. the doubts were mainly on myself?? like "what if he just wakes and he doesn't love me anymore" but everyday heeseung proves to me that that will never happen

*(y/n) smiles at heeseung

*heeseung looks away trying to hide the smile and blush appearing on his face and he takes a shot refusing to meet (y/n)'s eyes

*(y/n) picks up a card and laughs

[if i become a zombie and had to eat people to survive, would you stick by side?]

heeseung gets scared easily i don't think he will

but if it's you...

*(y/n) raises an eyebrow

wait let me think about this more clearly

see! *(y/n) laughs

*heeseung continues to think

omg just say no!

but it's you !!!

i know it's me but baby we both know you'll run the other way once i start to eat people

...... you still love me right?

yes heeseung, i still love you

*hee :D

okay! next question!

*he picks up a card and laughs

oh i like this one.

[would you date any of my friends?]

*(y/n)'s mouth drops in shock

*(y/n) ultimately decides to play with heeseung

i mean.. *(y/n) reaches for a shot

*the grin on his face disappears

yah!

*(y/n) bursts into giggles and takes a shot

yah~ !!

[would YOU date any of my friends?]

*hee's eyes narrows and takes a shot for revenge

*both laugh at their antics

the answer is no guys, i love his friends but they're pretty much like annoying siblings

sorry (y/n)'s friends, (y/n) is the only one for me

but i'm pretty sure someone who used to be in my circle would jump at the chance

really ?? who ??

*(y/n) gives the look

AH! -

*scene cuts as he says a name

moving on.

*(y/n) picks up a card and laughs

[do you wish i offered to pay for more dates?]

MAN I WISH I COULD PAY MORE ON DATES

i like paying for our dates, but arguing with them is hard

yeah there was one time we spent 10 minutes bickering about who will pay, so we just made an agreement

we take turns per month, like for this month i'm the one paying for all the dates, then on the next month (y/n) will be paying

but everytime it's his month, he always tries to go out a lot, and when it's my month he opts to stay in

hehe

hEHE ??

*heeseung picks up a card and reads the question intently

*he is in deep thought

what is it?

[will you agree to an open relationship?]

ohhh

open relationship is when it's okay if you see other people right?

yup and i don't think i'd agree to it. you?

me as well

sorry im selfish, heeseung is mine, i do not share ;)

*heeseung laughs

yeah, sorry it's not for me, i don't think i can stomach seeing another one hold (y/n) , find your own

*(y/n) raises glasses to cheers and both take a shot

[it's okay not to drink if you answer]

yeah we know

but it's free alcohol

and drinking makes it more fun

*they hi-five

okay! next question,

[if i had to move away for many years, would you wait for me?]

yes.

wow no hesitations

yes i would wait for you

*(y/n) :O

yes

okay we get it

*they laugh

but i will, you're worth waiting for

your patience says otherwise

are you doubting my ability to wait?

do you hear yourself when you're playing?

that's with games, you're not a game, you're not something i play

*(y/n) blushes making heeseung laugh

shut up okay i get it

i also do not actually trust my patience

SEE ?!

*heeseung bursts out laughing

so instead of waiting i'd probably just go to them and/or visit them a lot

or just move in with me

*(y/n) avoids heeseung's stare

is this still related to the question or the present

huh? *(y/n) acts clueless

WAIT-

*camera cut

*we see both of them sporting a blush with big smiles on their face, and the alcohol evidently lessened

[freestyle! ask any question you want]

wah, i don't know what to ask

*he is thinking, everybody shut up

just keep it simple

no i want it to be hard

i can just actually follow the rules and drink instead of answering

*hee pouts

no you won't

*(y/n) :P

okay!

[did you like ... when we first met?]

oh the 'friend'?

yeah

*(y/n) drinks

*heeseung :O

*(y/n) xD

no heeseung, i did not like them, i really just saw them as a friend

ohh ouch sorry buddy

*they share a laugh

oh it's the last one

[question for both: what does loving each other feel like?]

awww that's a cute one, i'll go first

loving heeseung feels like the comfort your favorite songs bring you. it feels like the excitement you get whenever your favorite show releases a new episode. it's the deep sigh in content you release whenever you smell your favorite scent. it's just, loving him feels like everything your favorites make you feel.

*heeseung is not tearing up, definitely not, that's just sweat, he is also 100% not blushing, it's just hot

*he takes a shot and (y/n) laughs at his antics

now how am i supposed to beat that?!

let me be more romantic gosh

respectfully, no.

*both laugh

okay uhh, loving (y/n) feels like riding a rollercoaster. from all the emotions while waiting in line to exiting the ride. loving them is like the feeling of hitting a high note you previously couldn't. it's winning multiple prizes at the arcade. loving (y/n) is like the softness of a sunrise and the absolute wonder in staring at a night sky.

*(y/n) takes a shot not even bothering to hide their blush

why are we so cheesy and poetic when we're intoxicated damn

*heeseung laughs and agrees

forgive us if we're cringey

not our fault you're single

heeseung! :O

*he stays unapologetic

and that's it!

thank you for having us~

bye~

»————-　♡　————-«

bonus: youtube comments

masterlist ⸺ series masterlist

a/n: sorry this took so long, i caught up with everything i missed in my classes, i'll try to update the series more frequently. i will also be posting timestamps later since it's been days since i last posted. i hope you also like this one!! jay's will be posted next, please look forward to it <33

[see-the-fandom-imagines]

Memories

Chapter 3 Chapter 1, Chapter 2 Pairing: Bruno x Reader A/N: And here is the third part (I know it took me way too long, but still!). I already have more ideas for Brunito, so let me know if you’d like to be tagged in my new Bruno oneshots as well or if you have other requests! And peeps, I think this is turning into a whole ass fic starting with his childhood and how you got to this point so... if you don’t want to be tagged anymore let me know, and also if you do wanna get tagged! (I will probably change the title as it is a prequel and I am trying to also make them work as singular chapters, but ... I am obsessed. Okay sorry that’s it, enjoy!) Tag List: @dorkrebloggs​ @theamericanjewitch​ @im-just-vibing-at-this-point​ @cocktails-and-adventures​

You had heard the rumbling in the distance and could see from afar that something was not right with Casita. It almost looked as if it was… collapsing? As fast as your legs could carry you, you ran towards the big house you had called your home for so many years before. Once you had reached the site all you could see was rubble and debris. Your gaze wandered over all the family members to see if everybody was fine. Your heart ached for casita, but your nieces and nephews were way more important. You could see everyone, Antonio, Camilo, Luisa … but one was missing. “Mirabel!”, you suddenly heard Julieta shout and you turned towards your former sister in law. “Did she make it out? Where is she”, you asked, and the fear in Julietas eyes projected in your own as she spun around to face you. “She got out of the house but now…” “We’ll find her”, you promised and immediately everybody started looking for your lost niece. Time became fuzzy but it must have been hours of searching when some of the local children finally told you that Mirabel had been found. Your heart leaped in relieve and you made your way back to where Casita once stood to see if she was okay. The first thing you saw when you got back was Maribel standing next to her Abuela and you couldn’t help yourself but run towards her and taking her into your arms as tightly as you could. “Are you okay?”, you asked and Mirabel nodded. “I’m fine, tía”, she laughed, but then her gaze fell on something behind you and she suddenly stopped smiling. Your furled your brows. “Maribel are you…”, you started but then you turned around and your heart which just had been so full of relief, dropped again and suddenly felt as if it had been buried by a million bricks. Not even Luisa could have lifted it at the moment. There, right between Julieta and Pepa you could see a face that you hadn’t seen in over ten years. “Brunito?”. Your lips had formed his name without any sound coming over them and you just stared at him, too big was the chance of him vanishing again the second you blinked. He looked at you and you could see sadness in his eyes. But also fear. He better be scared. Or not? You didn’t know what you wanted and you could not put your feelings into words. You were in shock. "Tía (y/n)", Maribel whispered carefully, but you barely even registered it. There were a few seconds of silence as Bruno and you just stared at each other. The smile Bruno had had on his face just seconds ago, happy that after all this years he had been surrounded by his siblings again, had vanished when he had seen you. His heart almost exploded. With guilt, sadness, but also… so much happiness to finally stand in front of you again. It felt like a huge veil had lifted. But nonetheless he was scared. Of your reaction. If you still loved him like he loved you. And if you could ever forgive him. All of these emotions you might had noticed if your own emotions hadn’t been forming up into a storm inside of you.   Respectfully, his siblings stepped a few steps back and that seemed to rip him out of his state of shock. He cleared his throat and took a careful step towards you. Instinctively, you backed off a little and you only managed to return back to reality as you could feel Maribel’s hand on your shoulder. It gave you a bit of security and you were very thankful for the small gesture. Bruno stood still again, but now that he had come a bit closer, you could see tears glistening in his eyes. "Hola, (y/n)". And you didn’t know if it was Maribel’s touch, hearing his voice or the overall confusion, but suddenly you could not hold back anymore and the shock turned into pure anger and despair. “Hola?” Your voice grew louder, the emotions racing inside of you. "Hola?!" Now it was on you to step closer towards him, just a little, not too much, but enough to make him back off. “You vanish for fifteen years!” “… Well technically it was only ten…” “And then you just appear out of nowhere, with the house in that state and everything in disarray and you say ‘Hola’?!” You could feel tears form in your own eyes now. Bruno looked at the ground and then back to you. He sighed and said in a small voice: “I know. But …” But something inside of you refused to let him speak just yet. He would not get out of this that easily. The feelings boiling inside of you had to get out. “But what? What happened, Bruno? Where have you been? How could you just leave for ten years and then show up again like all is well and all you say is ‘hola’!” Your voice broke during the last words. Bruno couldn’t avert his eyes from you, but he didn’t know what to do. He knew how much he had hurt you, it had hurt him just as much, but he had do it for Maribel, he didn’t have a choice and if he only got a chance to explain he would and maybe then …  “Do you have any idea how much I missed you".  Your voice had been a mere whisper, but they resonated in his head, shutting off his racing thoughts and all of a sudden Bruno crossed the last distance between you two, more an instinct than a conscious decision, and pulled you into a tight hug. And you let it happen. Sobbing you stood like this for a while, grabbing his ruana with both hands while you were trying to calm down. He still smelled the same, you noticed, and it gave you a sense of security -  an almost nostalgic feeling of a time when you had been safe and happy. "I have missed you too", Bruno whispered. "Every day." You didn't want to end the hug just yet, enjoying his touch to much after all these years, so you just kept clinging onto him. You didn't care that a woman your age should not act like this, right now you were being back to your 20 year old self, you had been when you first met him. “Can we take a walk and I will try to explain everything”, he whispered and hesitated for a moment, before adding “mi amor.” He tried his best to keep his voice from cracking. He was still scared you'd say no, but hearing these words from his lips fave you a warm and familiar feeling. Slowly you lifted your head and all of a sudden you remembered that you were still surrounded by the other Madrigals, partially looking away awkwardly, partially very curious about how the situation in front of them would unfold, but all of them visibly uncomfortable. Even Alma. Slowly you nodded, lifted your head and walked first without letting go of Brunos hand. No matter how confident you wanted to seem, part of you was still scared that Bruno might vanish again at any given second. You sat next to each other in the forest and after he had explained everything to you, you just stared off into distance. You hadn’t looked at him at all while he was telling his story and slowly it started to make him very nervous. "Why didn't you tell me you were here", you asked. "You know I wouldn't have said anything to anyone. Didn't you trust me?” “Of course I did”, Bruno admitted and you could feel his sad gaze on you. “But how could I ask you to keep such a secret.” There was silence for a while, before he spoke up again. “Also, I heard how the townsfolk had been talking about you so... back then... I don't know, it just seemed like the best decision for everyone involved.” Silence again. “Believe me, there were so many days where I just wanted to tell you, but the more time had passed, the more scared I became. That you might not be able to forgive me. And that you might not love me anymore.” Bruno sighed and only then you looked back at him. His heart jumped in his chest. He was more than nervous about what you were going to say, but part of him could not suppress the happiness he felt, now that he was finally able to sit next to you again and talk to you. Earlier when you had grabbed his hand he had grabbed yours just a little tighter, the touch of your skin almost burning into his. God, how much he had missed you. There was a lot you wanted to say. And even more you probably should have said. But the only words that came over your lips were: “I loved you every day for the past twenty years, mi amor.” You could feel Bruno stiffen for a second, but ultimately relax next to you. Carefully, he reached out for your hand, not wanting to upset you. You hesitated and puled away at first, looking him sternly in the eyes. “Don’t ever leave me like this again.” Bruno took your hand in his and immediately he seemed to calm down. You always had had this effect on him. He smiled weakly as he carefully kissed your finger tips. “Nunca más, mi amor.”

You knew you couldn’t stay here forever, you would be needed to help rebuild the house, but for now you just sat at the riverside for a little while longer, your head on his shoulder, his head on yours and your hands intertwined, starring off into the distance. No one was saying a word. You were just happy to be feeling each other’s presence again after all these years. It maybe would take a while until everything would go back to how it was before, or maybe it would always be a little bit different. But Bruno thought about his vision, you smiling at him, looking as beautiful as always, and Maribel’s words echoed in his head.  ‘...What if this is not her future... But yours!’

And for the first time in his life, Bruno was not scared of the future.

[usermaha]

CB Thoughts

This album is if Eternally was an entire album.

The actual shock to my system that was Devil By The Window??? the jaw was on the floor the whole runtime i kid you not

i dont know the lyrics?? Its All English from the sound of it?? All i can hear is Soobin and Soobin sounds angelic

This album is very tied to the narrative or theme. Which makes me really happy bc i was kinda expecting to get robbed out of the storytelling teased by the promo stuff.

I was jumping up and down in glee when i heard the intro to Sugar Rush Ride DARLING IVE BEEN WAITING FOR YOU SINCE DECEMBER

You know every txt cb has a part in the melody/production thats so good its almost pure coke and they build the entire song around it and its kinda repetitive but you dont complain bc its so good you cant get enough of it?

WAIT the vibes of CYSM’s thing (you know what i mean) and SRR’s intro are quite comparable

Up until the prechorus she is tons of fun and there are so many good vocal moments i dont know who’s who yet bc its happening too fast

But the chorus is a little short of a disaster to me the puncture of the energy to the empty chorus??? you mean to tell me i dislike a txt chorus what is happening??? Its gonna take me a while before i get around this song, even if i actually do. Which as a moa is a real shame.

Im really really excited to see the whole choreography

Okay all of this is very sexy. The narrative is “being tempted by the devil into a psychedelic bliss that is actually a hoax/dangerous but its irresistible”. I suppose that angle was always present in the concept but i didnt expect it to be played this upfront.

Sigh i should have known when YJ was shirtless. Everyone said Angry Soobin from GBGB was a shock SLUTTY SOOBIN??? Did i even type that phrase?? Txt is constantly challenging their concept and image and this is the more jarring one yet. They would’ve done an edgy concept that was a given but i legit never couldve imagined them this way.

i shall not speak any more of this, and i am respectfully looking away.

Yeonjun’s “What did you do to me, sugar” 😵 i still havent figured out my favorite line but this might be it

Happy Fools has a Balance Game energy. And i do not like Balance Game so. ://

and the feature really took me out otteokhe

Tinnitus is kinda fun kinda groovy… and also very sexy

Farewell Neverland gave me Lonely Boy. And Lonely Boy is one of my favorite songs from txt so this one will definitely be a at the top of this album

MY PETER PAN-

This pretty neatly fits my theory that they are visiting Magic Island (Neverland in this context) for a final time for closure.

Throughout txt’s discography there is this headstrong argument supporting escapism, that’s what the concept of Magic Island is about. “Run away with me.” And at this point the illusion of escapism finally crashes. We must go back home.

Honestly heartbreaking you can hear the bittersweetness in their voices

But i was expecting the Cat to eat them or something none of the action in the middle :(

When i heard Minisode 2 for the first time my gripe was that its not doing much in terms of interesting or unique. But here its’ inverted; this album experiments and pushes the envelope, and im happy for that, but for me it doesnt stick the landing

but again the album might grow on me as i slowly get around each song. It has happened before with txt songs. But this is how it stands right now.

Member-specific points:

Soobin era. From Devil By The Window ive called it. His falsettos are in full form here and i love to see it

It feels like Yeonjun’s existence as an idol was destined for a moment like this. He unhinges his jaw and never retracts it back. HIS VOCALS TAKE ME OUT every cb day dont sleep on YJ’s vocals please this has been a PSA

Beomgyu’s vocals in Farewell Neverland he is such. an emotional singer he sings with so much heartbreak in his voice

Fuck Taehyun honestly he sounds better and better every cb and for what. For me to bias him harder??? Fuck him.

Huening Kai plays the sexy so right its almost wrong he is such a fantastic idol and performer he is a chameleon he carries any and every concept with such ease he has it all truly

[lucifer-is-a-bag-of-dicks]

Oh my gosh so I also headcannon Jack as autistic! But im not comfortable with writing it yet because idk how. Im not autistic; my little sister is and i know a few things jack could have trouble with... but hes a grown ass man so i just dont know. Im definitely taking notes on what you write him as but could you give me some pointers?....maybe?

Im mostly referencing to Bitter with this

aaaa yeah it definitely presents differently in adults who've learned to mask, personally I don't plan to put certain things in specifically to talk about how he's autistic, I write with the background knowledge of what traits he displays, and then express them when relevant, it's relevant a lot with Jack simply due to how much it affects his life

now this is going to get long, so bare with me, because this is a whole lot more complicated than you might expect

there's really no one correct way to write Jack, since there's no one way that autism presents itself, the way I write him is based on a mix of myself and some people in my family, so I can give you a basic idea of what angle I personally come from

for one, I change the way I write about facial expressions and how emotions come across to Jack, in Jazz's chapters I'll write about the exact emotion she can see on their face, with Jack's I'll go with an obvious base emotion, but then if the person is expressing something more complicated, I'll describe their face in physical details

eg;

Jazz POV - Danny was upset, but his face was tight with frustration

Jack POV - Danny looked sad, but his eyebrows were furrowed and his mouth was set in a hard line

it's a subtle difference but it's one I try to maintain throughout Bitter, Jack's POV is based on how I have trouble reading non-obvious expressions, although in my case I also have trouble looking people in the face when I talk to them, that's harder to write in an emotion driven POV story, so I made Jack better at that than I am

his interest in machines is quite obvious, since he's an inventor, and he looooves infodumping on people, he gets very excited about his passions very quickly and his mouth runs off with him, something I also have trouble with, it hasn't been a prominent trait for Jack in Bitter, because he's so out of his element he's mostly confused and in a way, almost grieving his own death, so he's been far quieter than he usually is

his special interest is obviously ghosts and machinery, and in Bitter I cover that he's got a degree in engineering, physics and mathematics. He's good at them, I like to look at it as though Jack rolled high in intelligence and low in wisdom, he's book smart, he knows things that are straightforward and have firm rules, he's less comfortable in topics that are more wishy washy and vague, biology is complicated and has too many variables, he finds it difficult to grasp, there's no one standard rule that applies to every body

I also struggle with vague and unclear directions, I need a solid structure and clear instructions, my strength is in sorting, organising, alphabetising and colour coding, I like things to Look Right, I stick to a particular routine with very specific things, and it's viscerally uncomfortable and even distressing for me to have that order disturbed, I nearly had a meltdown at work because someone had done a part of my job incorrectly, and I had to fix it, it made me genuinely upset on a personal level, it was MY system, NOBODY should be touching it, NOBODY should be moving things around, they do anyway, and I spend a portion of my shifts just frustrated and on edge because of it

Jack also has issues socially, he often says or does things that other people find uncomfortable or embarrassing, I reference that in Bitter, where Jack assumes everyone is mad at him because he said or did something stupid, this I have much experience in, while in the middle of a social situation it's easy to just do what comes naturally to you and not realise it's off putting to other people, because people often play polite and you can't tell that they're uncomfortable, even though people around you find it painfully obvious

sometimes it's easy to see in hindsight after you've been told you made something awkward or uncomfortable, but in the moment if nobody says anything about it, you can remain either totally oblivious, or become anxious and second guess every interaction you have

Jack is the oblivious type, he's fortunate to live in a family that is fairly understanding, they might get frustrated with him, or embarrassed by him, but they don't really take it personally, they KNOW he means well, they know he cares, and Jack does care, he cares a lot, he feels things a lot, he's incredibly empathetic

this is a trait that a lot of media likes to ignore in depictions of autism, because I guess it makes people with autism seem 'too normal', when tv shows always want to be like 'hey wow look at this clever asshole! isn't he clever, but also an asshole! but you can't hate him because he's ✨autistic✨ and he can't help it'

that bothers me a lot, I mean some people with autism do have trouble relating and empathising with people, my brother is one of them, but some people with autism really empathise a lot, some of us feel things very strongly, I'm highly empathetic and it's a real struggle to cope with

so yeah, it is a very complicated thing, so you need to go in with an idea of what their character struggles with, how it affects them, and when it's relevant in the story, also autism falls on a very wide spectrum, some people, like myself, are able to mask well, but that creates a big issue with identity, when you start to wonder how much of you is real and how much of you is mask, then you have to decide if you want to lower that mask and accept the social consequences of expressing yourself naturally

I have a friend who presents a little more obviously, he's very rigid in his ways and he talks like he's reading from a script, I have another friend who can socialise just fine, but will go into a total meltdown when a plan gets derailed and she doesn't know what to do next

another friend I have is highly social and incredibly boisterous, she stims with her whole body, dances around a lot, she's chaotic and that can be off-putting to people, she's had to spend a lot of her life holding that back, she's only recently started learning how to be herself shamelessly

my brother was incredibly social when he was younger, and people always really loved him, but most of that is mask, he's socially anxious and just wants to be alone most of the time, and he's a total prick to his immediate family, I don't take that personally any more, since now I understand that he's so blunt and brutally honest because he isn't masking with us, but also he still needs to be called out when he oversteps, autism might be why he has difficulty empathising, but it's not an excuse to be a complete asshole, even people with autism need to be called out on shitty behaviour, it isn't a get out of jail free card, our self expression shouldn't come at the cost of hurting other people, most of us are more than capable of learning to not be an asshole

I know this is like, A LOT, but these are the things that need to be considered when writing about autism, it is an all encompassing thing that permeates your entire life experience, I absolutely welcome people like you to try to write about it! Because I think it shouldn't be a taboo subject, and I appreciate that you asked for advice and that you want to do it respectfully, you've probably seen first hand how difficult living with autism can be, having a family member on the spectrum, so you already have some experience to draw from, I don't know your relationship with your sister or how old she is, or where on the spectrum she falls, but if possible you can ask her about her experiences in particular situations that you're having trouble writing, if that's something you and she are comfortable with

I hope this helps, just remember to keep an open mind and listen to any feedback you might get, it is very VERY easy to misrepresent autism so don't be too hard on yourself if you don't quite get it right, if someone gives you a critique, take it in stride and use it to become better ~ you can even express that in an authors note, that you want to write it accurately and invite anyone with experience to share their opinion, because like I said, it is different for everyone and my experiences are not universal, and you're welcome to run something by me every once in a while if you aren't sure about it ❤️