#he's cute in his weird little ways ok
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britneyshakespeare · 3 months ago
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Yesterday at the high school I was in for this art teacher and they all had like projects they were gonna present to work on in Google classroom, so like many days as a substitute teacher it was quiet and I mostly just sat at the desk and read. But then this one kid in my peripheral vision was looking at me and when I glanced over her laughed a little. And I looked away cuz I was like whatever maybe he was whispering smth w his friends.
But then he says "I have a question"
"Yeah?"
"What two colors make purple?"
"Oh. Red and blue"
"Thank you... I appreciate the no judgment answer"
I didn't even think about it lol
#when youve been asked enough silly questions you just accept all of them#tales from diana#and this class in particular was not an intro class which. makes it a little extra funny#i told him ive heard sillier questions and he said 'like what?' and i was just like... oh idk but i used to work prek#i guess i am such a no judgment person that it didn't even register to me hed worry abt me laughing at him#u just forgot kid! its ok it happens to the best of us#there was also another interaction i had at the end of the day which was kinda weird#the last like 10 minutes. there was this kid in the front of the room like#apparently he was dancing and i guess i turned my head like toward the whiteboard for one sec#bc i was thinking abt erasing it. which was right next to him#and he was like 'she totally saw me bust that move' to his friends#i didn't know if they meant me or they were talking abt some other student. but fwiw i totally was not looking at him lol#but five minutes later i go up to erase the board#and the kid is still standing there and he's like 'what was your name again?' (it was literally on the board still. kids dont read)#'miss -----' 'oh. it was nice to meet you' and i was kinda like uh the fuck lol#i can't stress enough i dont 'meet' most of these high school students i just take attendance#i didn't say a word to any kids this class unless they asked to go to the bathroom#but i was like. uhm. 'nice meeting you too' like wtf?#'nice being here at my job where i oversee dozens of interchangeable students everyday'#ive always said i can usually tell when students have a crush on me. but that really applies to like. k-8#bc of how little i really get to work w high schoolers it's not like i can just read their minds#even if im a 'pretty substitute' to them i dont know that and they dont talk to me and i dont care#it's definitely weirder to have a teenager talk to u like ur a cute girl or smth. bc they don't do it in the earnest way of younger kids#not that that was like an offensive interaction it was just completely unexpected and awkward lol
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astraystayyh · 2 years ago
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reached tag limit OF COURSE so I'm continuing here
the entire love-making scene THE PRAISE THE VULNERABILITY THE EMOTION ☹️☹️☹️ the way he cried happy tears and didn't try to hide them, the way they melted into one another I AM NOT OKAY "you're still my favorite reflection" made me cry,,, they are each other's mirrors and they are so fond of one another I WANNA SCREAMMMMMMM
also "you could give him everything and not lose a single drop of yourself" IS SO HEART WRENCHING,,,,,,, he'll always give back too and she's not losing a drop of herself because he isn't selfish, because they both come from a place of love and pure love can only nurture you not drain you,,, i love how she believes this now, how there are still parts they need to heal, both of them, but atleast they are together and they see the strength that they can give to one another
ALSO BUTTERFLY BANDAGE??????? KSKDNDJDNXNXJXJXJXJX when i read it my breath hitched i was wondering why u chose that title all along, but oh my god I've never seen it that way AND YOU'RE SO RIGHT
also wait i just remembered the whole "you're the moon" comparaison and look at yourself when the reflection isn't broken MADE ME CRY IT'S SO RAW AND BEAUTIFUL AND LOVING :(((
you made twin flames feel much more personal and intimate than soulmates, something about someone seeing and knowing the ugliest parts of you AND STAYING??? and loving you through them???? it's so intensely sweet and it fits Chan so well
i can't believe this series is over it's been a true joy to read everything you wrote,, i usually don't get invested in series BUT the way you wrote it had me HOOKED from the first part,, every metaphor you use, every comparaison, every little detail you add and put sm care into, i just know this took you sm time and effort and i hope YOU'RE PROUD OF IT!!!! i already said this, but you really built characters that feel human above all, that are just like us in the sense where they have flaws, and they've been through things and those traumas reflect on their reactions, BUT THEY'RE STILL TRYING and that's what matters!!!! every thing that the characters did whether it's Chan and mc or binnie and minho and iseul, everything was in accord to the personality you presented and it felt like you're writing about real humans you saw exist!!!
thank you for writing this truly it feels so bittersweet for it to end LIKE WDYM NO MORE BB UPDATES 😞😞 but I can't wait to read more from you!!! i think this story healed me as well, i could relate in some parts to both Chan and the mc and this gave me hope that a love this pure does exist. thank you thank you have the happiest life <333
ʚïɞ butterfly bandage - 05
note: this is the final part of a series (part 1, part 2, part 3, part 4)
content: bang chan/reader, university au, themes of twin flames, themes of soulmates, reader is female and referred to with she/her pronouns, angst, hurt/comfort, mentions of past unhealthy relationships, themes of death/grief, more crying (sorry), nsfw scenes
18+ content: sub chan, dom reader, soft smut, mirror sex, lots and lots of praise, body worship, biting, marking, possessiveness, teasing, channie is very embarrassed, handjob, begging, just a little bit of crying, edging, reader and chan are kinda obsessively in love, unprotected sex, riding, cockwarming
word count: 17.3k
A call of your name from across the lab caught your attention, just as you were preparing to collect your materials and head out for the day. Fumbling with your bag, you zipped it up as quickly as you could and headed towards your lab instructor, already bracing yourself for a conversation that, based on your track record with her, was very likely to be disheartening.
She lowered the stack of papers she’d been holding as you approached her, revealing her smile—a rare sight for anyone who worked under her.
“Yes?”
“Congratulations,” she announced. “Your paper’s approved.”
Your eyes widened as she handed the stack to you, over twenty pages of blood, sweat, and tears. They felt heavy in your hands, heavy with the weight of everything that had been sacrificed for their completion. Just a few days ago, the news would’ve had you over the moon. It was all you’d been wanting to hear, all you’d been dreaming of since you’d first begun your studies. Now, it was nothing more than a shallow comfort, a single drop of sunlight that was immediately obscured by the shadows all around it.
“Great,” you said at last, flashing a strained smile. “Thank you, Professor.”
She gave you a pat on the back, and you tried to find solace in the proud shine in her eyes. “You did well,” she praised. “I’m sure you’ll excel in your next rotation, too.”
“My next…rotation?”
Your instructor glanced down at her clipboard, adjusting her glasses with a hum. “Since your research has been approved, there’s no need for you to remain at your current station. You’ve spent quite a bit of time with those binary pairs,” she added. “You’ll be doing interferometric imaging for the next few weeks. We’re a few people short.”
Something twisted inside you. “Really?”
She looked up from her notes, quirking an eyebrow. “Is there a problem?”
“I…” you trailed off. There was nothing you could tell her that would be meaningful enough for her to let you stay—nothing that wouldn’t get you laughed at or even potentially dismissed from the lab for the rest of the semester. How on earth were you meant to explain that a pair of spectroscopic stars had come to mean so much to you? How on earth were you meant to explain what they signified in your mind?
“No, nothing,” you said weakly. “I’ll transfer my things tomorrow. Thank you.”
Your instructor nodded, and that was that. In the blink of an eye, you’d lost the final piece of what you’d had left of Chan.
You adjusted the strap of your bag, bowing quickly to her and turning to leave. Your pace quickened as you exited the lab, a wave of inexplicable emotions rising within you. It ushered you to head home as soon as possible, like it was a race against time, like you had to reach shelter before it crashed into the shore and drowned you in front of everyone.
A cold gust of air billowed past you as you pushed open the doors to the physics building. You squinted against it, burying your hands in your pockets. The sky was still covered with that same, gray sheet—much darker than it had been earlier in the week. The closer you studied it, the more it looked like the clouds might break at any given moment. All the more reason to rush home; you hadn’t brought an umbrella.
Your phone vibrated against your hand, and you fished it out of your pocket without thinking. Anything to distract you from this. 
bin 😑 (2:27 p.m.) hey
bin 😑 (2:28 p.m.) is everything okay?
Just as you were about to close the notification, another came.
bin 😑 (2:30 p.m.) did something happen with chan?
You stopped in your tracks. 
Did he really not know? Had Chan still not said anything to him? Was he keeping it all to himself? Suffering in silence, even now?
You didn’t have to question it for long. Of course he was. 
Against your better judgment, you typed out a reply, fingers stiff from the cold and—for some reason—thumb burning.
you (2:33 p.m.) i’m fine bin don’t worry about me
you (2:34 p.m.) please just be there for chan
bin 😑 (2:36 p.m.) where have u been??? i was worried
Guilt, guilt, guilt. 
He wouldn’t be worried anymore when he found out the truth.
bin 😑 (2:38 p.m) pls talk to me
You wanted to talk to him. You so badly wanted to talk to him—not even about everything that had transpired over the past four days, just in general. You wanted to tease him, to laugh with him, to share a meal with him, to chatter about the most trivial, most mundane of topics with him because you could, because you enjoyed each other’s company and nothing else.
You missed your friend. But he was Chan’s friend first and foremost; Chan’s little brother. Losing Chan meant losing Changbin. The moment he’d find out what you’d done, how you’d hurt the person he admired most in this world, he would look at you with that same, dark glare that had unsettled you so much on the day you’d first met. Only this time, it wouldn’t be misleading, masking the kindness underneath. It would be real, intentional. He would mean every bit of it.
Minho’s glares were one thing. The thought of Changbin looking at you the same way was more than you could take. There was no place for you in his life anymore.
A droplet landed on your screen, splattering water across it and blurring the words of his message. You looked up at the sky. The clouds had broken.
You were going to cry.
It was for the best, probably. A pot could only withstand so much before it boiled over.
You pulled the hood of your jacket over your head just as the rain began to fall more steadily, sinking to the ground and settling on the curb of the sidewalk. You gave up on outrunning the wave. For once, uncaring of the people around you. For once, allowing yourself to be an inconvenience. 
Vaguely, you felt another buzz in your pocket; repeating, persistent. Changbin must have been calling you. Pressure rose in your chest. A strange sound built in your throat, an unpleasant, unfamiliar sensation pricked at your eyes. But before droplets of your own could well up in their corners, before you could release, the feeling of rain pattering relentlessly against your clothes came to a sudden halt, like something had passed over you, shielding you from it.
You didn’t bother to look up, praying that whoever it was whose presence you felt hovering above you, they’d take the hint and leave you alone. Just a moment to wallow in your misery. Just a moment to feel without worrying about anyone or anything else. Even now, that was too much to ask for, it seemed.
Through the roaring downpour, you barely caught it—soft, airy.
“It’s raining.”
Your blood ran cold, chilling you more than any of the water seeping through your clothing, right down to your bones.
Of course. You almost laughed out loud. Of fucking course.
This had to be some kind of joke, the universe’s cruel finale to everything it had put you through over the past three years.
“Go away.”
“Aren’t you gonna congratulate me for learning how to use an umbrella?”
You peered up through the mess of hair and fabric blocking your vision, fixing him with a look fiercer than any of the insults he’d ever hurled your way.
“Go away.”
His stare didn’t waver, face unchanging as always. It must’ve been so easy, to be so unaffected. It must’ve been so easy, to care so little. He blinked down at you, and—despite the static swarming your mind—through it all, you couldn’t help but notice that there was nothing harsh about the look he was giving you. Not quite warm, not quite cold. It was far from the self-satisfied expression of someone who knew he had been right all along. Of someone who knew that he had won. 
“Come with me.”
You watched him blankly, too appalled to speak. 
When you didn’t budge, he tilted his wrist, leaning his umbrella forward so that it covered you completely and exposed part of himself to the rain.
“I’ll get sick if you don’t.”
“Yeah? Brew yourself some yuja tea.”
His lip twitched into the beginnings of a smirk. Not smug, not condescending. Just faintly amused.
“That was pretty funny.” He tilted the umbrella further. The rain began to land on his hair, darkening it, weighing it down. “But I’m really starting to get cold, now.”
“I don’t care.”
He clicked his tongue. Still, he made no move to leave, not even to pull his umbrella back over himself. You might’ve been swayed by whatever approach he was taking if you weren’t too preoccupied with figuring out just how the hell you could get rid of this guy.
“By the way,” he added casually. “Changbin gave me something. I think it belongs to you?”
You cursed yourself for perking up so quickly, so obviously. It was only for a split second, but he caught on—of course he did—eyes glinting like a cat that had spotted its target in all your loose threads.
“What do you want?”
“Let’s talk,” he said. “Come with me, and the pencil’s all yours.”
You gave in. For whatever reason, Lee Minho had suddenly decided that you were now worth his time.
He didn’t offer his hand to help you come to full standing, but he kept the umbrella steadily above you as you rose from the curb, allowing himself to get drenched in the process. It almost made you grimace more than his usual behavior, solely because it felt so wrong. And, maybe, because you felt like you didn’t deserve it. Not even from someone like him.
As he led you down the sidewalk towards wherever he planned to take you, you inched away from him, back into the rain. He made no effort to move closer again, but you did notice his eyes flicker your way once or twice.
You shuffled awkwardly behind him, focus kept firmly on the pavement, feet kicking up water with every step you took. It wasn’t until the warm, addictive scent of freshly-ground coffee flooded your senses that you lifted your head with a start, just in time to see Minho wiping the bottom of his shoes on the campus library mat. He shook out his umbrella and stepped inside, seemingly debating for a moment whether or not he should hold the door open for you.
An ache gripped your heart, somehow, stronger than anything you’d felt over the past four days. It ached and throbbed and pulsed when you processed where you were headed. The table right across from the entrance, at the very back of the library.
You half-expected to find him there—shrouded in black, hunched over his laptop, one set of fingers playing with his lips, the other set tapping along to the melody of his music. But his seat was empty. He wasn't there anymore.
You tried to control the sheer enormity of your anguish as you approached its source. You’d already humiliated yourself enough in front of the last person you’d ever have wanted to witness it. Even if he didn’t seem nearly as delighted with your downfall as you’d imagined, the fact that he’d caught you more vulnerable than anyone else had before, more than Chan ever had, made your skin positively crawl.
Minho sat down with a heavy sigh, ruffling his hair in a half-hearted attempt to dry it out. He slipped off his drenched jacket, giving it a disgusted look before dropping it on the table.
“Want some coffee?”
“No.”
“It’ll warm you up.”
You narrowed your eyes. If you’d had any semblance of rationality left in your system, you would’ve told yourself that it was just an offhand comment, that he couldn’t possibly have known just how devoid of warmth you truly were. But you were far past that point. Everything he said was a trap and everything he did was a taunt.
When he saw that you had no plans to respond, he shrugged. “Suit yourself.”
“Where’s my pencil?”
“Oh,” he sniffed. “I lied about that.”
You bristled. “What?”
“I don’t have it,” he clarified. “I lied so you’d come with me. Get it?”
You reached for your bag, preparing to leave.
“You can take it from Changbin yourself,” he continued. “Once this is all fixed.”
For once, the absolute certainty with which he spoke, like anything that came out of his mouth was a prophecy waiting to be fulfilled, wasn’t used to stir doubt within you. You froze in place. Whether it was a flash of hope, or a stubborn indignation that kept you rooted to your chair, you weren’t quite sure.
“Once this is fixed?” you echoed, rife with hostility. “This is exactly what you wanted, isn’t it? Chan hates me just as much as you do, now. You win.”
“I don’t hate you.”
You scoffed, expecting the lie—because it had to be a lie, a jeer, a vicious way to kick you while you were down—to be followed by that same scornful sneer that had become all too familiar for your liking. 
But it never came.
Your disbelief was only met with a sincere, unbreaking expression. No games, no underlying meaning. A complete contrast to everything you associated with Lee Minho.
“Are you serious?”
“You don’t believe me?” he feigned hurt, which you had half a mind to be infuriated about considering the many, many worse things he’d assumed about you. “I mean it. I don’t hate you.”
You blinked.
“I probably could’ve,” he added unhelpfully. “If what I'd thought about you turned out to be true. But really, I just didn’t trust you.”
You grunted to at least acknowledge his confession, unsure of how else you should react. If that was how he treated the people he didn’t trust, you’d love to know what his hatred looked like. 
You’d long told yourself not to take it personally, but for some reason, there was an undeniable sting there. Maybe it was because Minho was eerily perceptive, so much that this whole ordeal had planted the idea in your head that he had to be correct. Or maybe, it was because you’d always felt like there was a bit of truth to his impression of you, even before you’d met him, even before his opinion of you had sunk straight into the gutter. Having someone else say it out loud had just forced you to come to terms with it.
That constant voice in the back of your head, etching guilt into your mind. Telling you that you liked hurting the people who depended on you, that you liked to build them a safe haven and then crush it before their very eyes. Exactly what he had claimed you’d done to him.
Exactly what you’d done to Chan.
“Am I making things worse?” Minho tilted his head. 
“No,” you answered, and it was mostly honest. “Go on.”
He said nothing, eyeing you for a moment longer. It put you on high alert. Similarly to Chan, you couldn’t shake the feeling that he was delving straight into your center—but unlike Chan, there was no comfort of being able to stare right back into his. 
“You probably know this by now, but Chan is an easy target for a lot of people,” he began. Slow, deliberate, no playful lilt to it. “He can usually tell when he’s being mistreated, but even so, he puts up with it. He thinks he can make it all better.”
You shifted uncomfortably in your spot, concentrating on the rain droplets that hadn’t yet dried from your hair. “Yeah, I know.” 
I know better than you. The petty side of you wanted to tack on. But you decided against it, instead choosing to foster whatever kind of tentative truce was coming to fruition here.
Minho paused again. “Right.”
“So, what, you thought I was one of those people?”
“Mm.” Blunt as ever. “Like I said, I've seen the type before. And if Chan wasn’t going to do anything about it, then I was.”
He’d changed his wording, you noticed. It had been your type before, uttered with all the contempt and venom in the world. You wanted to find consolation in that subtle difference, but it didn’t stop the memory from rousing your defiance all over again.
“You think he can’t make decisions for himself?”
It was a risk—hypocritical, too, when you knew firsthand what kind of decisions Chan made for himself, when you knew firsthand the powerlessness of trying to get him to stop—but you said it anyway. Minho hummed, leaning back in his chair, as if the challenge in your words hadn’t affected him in the slightest.
“Of course he can,” he replied evenly. “Doesn’t make them right. When you see your friend make the same decision over and over and get hurt every single time, wouldn’t it be cruel to just sit by and watch?”
He looked off to the side, and if you hadn’t known any better, you might’ve thought that he was—God forbid—trying to prevent you from possibly catching on to an emotion of his.
“That’s what real insanity is—isn’t that how the saying goes? Repeating the same thing and expecting different results.”
You knew, deep down, that his explanation made sense, and somehow, that only stung more. You felt wronged, like the collateral damage for all the people who had harmed Chan in the past. The fact that Minho had treated you so coldly out of the goodness of his heart wasn’t much of a reprieve. In a childish sense, it made things even worse, because now, your own negative feelings towards him felt unjustified.
That didn’t even begin to cover the fact that he had been right. 
Every part of you wanted to object to him lumping you in with all the others as the same decision, but in the end, you were just another name on the endless list of people who had hurt Chan.
When he saw how long you’d gone silent for, Minho spoke up again, looking unsure of himself for what may very well have been the first time in his life. 
“I’m…” he huffed. “Look, I was wrong.”
As always, what he said was the polar opposite of what you’d been thinking. It was almost comical, how the wavelengths the two of you operated on were so determined to be different in every conceivable way. 
His ears, you noticed, had dusted red at the tips—the exact same way Chan’s would flare up when he was flustered. You hated how it weakened your resolve, how his mere association with Chan had you more than willing to accept his olive branch, however awkwardly shaped it was.
“Chan’s done a lot for me—for everyone. I just wanted to protect him.”
That was the point of convergence, the one, precious point where your waves intersected. The desire to keep Chan safe. You understood it better than anything else, and so, for that fleeting moment, you understood Minho. Still, your pride—something you’d repressed far too many times in your attempts to reconcile with him before—wasn’t quite ready to back down.
“But you barely even knew me,” you protested. “What did I do to make you decide that you hated me all of a sudden?”
“Didn’t hate you,” he corrected.
You pressed your lips together into an annoyed line. “What made you think I wanted to…to hurt him?”
Minho looked contemplative, and you found yourself worrying that he may simply decide not to tell you. You wouldn’t put it past him. It would be painfully on-brand, actually, at least with the version of him that you’d come to know. 
“Chan came home crying.”
Your throat went dry.
“What?” you rasped. “When?”
“Back in July. The morning I got back from summer break.”
The morning after you’d first slept together. All at once, everything snapped into place—pieces of the puzzle that you hadn’t been able to connect, pieces that you hadn’t even known were missing in the first place.
“So, he comes home from your place, crying, with those marks all over his neck,” he explained. “It wasn’t the first time something like that happened. I put two and two together.”
You felt sick enough that you actually feared you might throw up, right there, on the library floor.
“I thought he must’ve landed himself in a bad spot again. With someone who only wanted to use him.”
“Why?” You gripped your soaked bag to your chest, with so much force that residual water began to dribble out of it. “Why was he crying?”
How did I hurt him? You wanted to add. Why didn’t he tell me? Why didn’t I notice? 
How could you have ever let this happen?
Minho hesitated, and you squeezed your eyes shut, not entirely certain that you even wanted to hear the answer.
“He was happy.”
Confusion. And then, relief. And then, confusion again. The turmoil must have been written all over your face, because Minho ever so graciously decided to elaborate.
“I didn’t find that part out until yesterday, though. Not much of a happy crier, myself.”
A fresh surge of anger overtook everything else you were struggling to comprehend. Thoughts of what could’ve been, of how it all might have turned out if it weren’t for the man in front of you. The man who had given you all the tools in chiseling your self-doubt to perfection, who had passed you the hammer to destroy what you loved most.
You wanted it to be his fault. It would be so easy to pin the blame all on him. But nothing was ever that easy. Nothing was ever that simple. Even without the right tools, you would’ve found a way to destroy it regardless. It was what you were best at.
“You didn’t bother to ask him!?” you snapped.
“Oh. You think I’m stupid.” A glimpse of his former sharpness. You had to stop yourself from saying yes, just to spite him. “Of course, I asked. More than once. But his answer was the same as always—he smiled and told me not to worry. He’d say it with a gun to his head.”
You frowned. It was too much to process at once, too much for your already worn-down brain to compute. All you could really make sense of was a gut feeling, an instinct, telling you that you’d made a horrible, horrible mistake.
“I talked to Chan yesterday,” he mellowed again, back to his usual, airy tenor. “He told me everything. He doesn’t seem to fully understand it, but I do.”
Minho locked eyes with you, deep, intense. No longer the look of someone that had decided you were guilty, but a look that warned you that he would know if you were lying to him.
“You care about him, don’t you?”
It sounded more like a statement than a question, but you nodded, anyway. Such a simple thing to admit to. How could such a simple thing have ever led to all of this? 
“Yeah,” you mumbled. “That’s why I did it. I was afraid I’d end up…”
You took in a shaky breath.
“I just didn’t want to hurt him.”
“Ah, seriously.” He pinched the bridge of his nose, and he laughed. Incredulous, dry, ending with an exhale. “You broke up with him because you didn’t want to hurt him? Do you realize how insane that sounds?”
Your face heated up. “You’re the one who thought I would in the first place!”
“But I was wrong.”
You were taken aback by how plainly he admitted to it, how that indestructible, stubborn pride of his was extinguished the instant he’d learned it had harmed someone he cared about. Even more troubling than that, was the fact that you could tell he was apologetic, even without him saying it outright. All of this, as annoyingly as he was going about it, was his apology to you. Changbin’s words—fond and reassuring and, now, truer than ever—reverberated in your mind. Soft at heart.
“People are supposed to help each other. You know that, right?”
You snorted at the absurdity of the question. 
“Obviously.”
“So why are you so weird about it?”
“It’s different with Chan,” you insisted. “You said it yourself. He does so much—everyone takes so much from him. I didn’t want to do the same.”
“But that’s still not fair, is it?” he countered. “You’d just be giving everything instead. Chan doesn’t want that, either.”
You opened your mouth to argue, only for the words to die in your throat. There was no way to justify it without sounding ridiculous—maybe, because it was a bit ridiculous. But Chan was the exception, he would always be the exception. You would give everything to him because you knew he would never take it for granted. You would give everything to him because he’d already given everyone so much.
Because he’d given you so much. 
Ah.
“God, you two are so—” Minho cradled head dramatically, sensing that you’d finally worked it out in your mind. “You’ve already got the hardest part figured out. Just learn to take once in a while. You’re not gonna die.”
“But he won’t change unless I do,” you muttered. “I know he won’t.”
He gave you a look of pure exasperation, as if the answer couldn’t have been more obvious.
“So, change.”
。⋆。˚ ʚïɞ ˚。⋆。⋆。˚ ʚïɞ ˚。⋆。⋆。˚ ʚïɞ ˚。⋆。
The feeling of your heart threatening to burst out of your chest, courtesy of Bang Christopher Chan, was one you’d become well-acquainted with over the past seven months. But of all the times you’d experienced it, it’d never been quite like this. This was something else entirely.
A day to mull everything over after your conversation with Minho, a restless night spent trying and failing to map out how you could possibly approach the situation, and over an hour of pacing restlessly around your apartment—all useless in ebbing the adrenaline that coursed through your veins. Before the clock had even struck 10:00 a.m., you’d not only felt like you had run a marathon, but that you could run another for good measure. 
You’d spoken to Changbin first. He at least deserved to know what was going on. He deserved an apology, even if the very real possibility that he would never speak to you again afterwards made your stomach churn. On a more selfish note—you figured today was as good as any to start with that—you’d also just really, really missed him. 
As it turned out, he’d more or less come to grasp the situation, even when being protected from all angles. Between what little Minho had let slip, Chan’s avoidant behavior (to the surprise of no one, he’d hardly let Changbin know a thing) and your vaguely ominous texts, he’d gathered up enough bits and pieces for his genius intuition to fill in the gaps. The sound of his voice once you’d revealed what had happened in full; compassionate, calm—not an ounce of the disdain you’d resigned yourself to be met with so viciously—had almost been enough to make you choke up.
“You should’ve told me,” he’d chided. “Why do you love doing that to yourself? What, you think I’m not strong enough to lean on?”
You’d let out a long exhale, heavy with all the apprehension you released with it; relieved, embarrassed, resigned. “It’s not that, Bin,” you’d mumbled. “I didn’t want to trouble you. Not when Chan and Minho both mean so much to you.”
“And you think you don’t? C’mon, you’re supposed to be the smart one here.”
Naturally, it only added to your guilt, that you’d created such an uncharacteristically cruel image of him in your head. This was Seo Changbin, after all. A great talker, but an even better listener, and as much as he liked to tease Chan for his age, he had a level of emotional intelligence far beyond his years. A wisdom that you would probably do well to learn from whenever it bothered to make an appearance. 
At the same time, however, this was Seo Changbin, the one man show, Leo incarnate. Once the relief of hearing back from you had eased his conscience (as much as it could, knowing how horribly tangled up everything had become), the theatrics had ensued.
“Dating my best friend is one thing, but breaking his heart is off limits!” he’d complained. It was mostly light. No real anger behind it, just plenty of highly-warranted frustration. “Not only that—breaking your own heart too! What am I supposed to do with two brokenhearted best friends? Hang out with Minho!?”
After a slew of loud, nagging, reprimands, and a very serious threat that Cinnamoroll would be held hostage until further notice, Changbin had let you go. For the first time in five days, you’d laughed. You’d never felt more grateful, or more stupid, in your life. He made it all sound so simple. Lee Minho, quite possibly the most convoluted piece of work you’d ever encountered in this world, had made it all sound so simple. 
You could only hope that you hadn’t crushed it into something infinitely more complicated, something beyond repair.
The trembling of your fingers, coupled with that strange sensation in your thumb that had yet to go away, made it difficult for you to type properly. Still, you persisted, throwing caution to the wind. Caution had ruled over you for far too long, anyway.
you (10:03 a.m.) hi
you (10:04 a.m.) i understand if you want some space right now but if you can, i’d like to talk
You prepared to lock your phone, not expecting a reply for some time—if any at all. Even under normal circumstances, he didn’t always get back to you right away. But, well, maybe the fact that the circumstances were anything but normal should’ve been enough for you to know better, because you didn’t even get the chance to swipe out of your messaging app before you noticed three little dots below your chat bubble.
Appearing. Disappearing. Appearing. Disappearing. Just a sign of life from him, and your palms had grown clammy. With fear, anticipation, dread. The dread of being met with anything but love, anything but warmth.
Then, at last, a single word.
channie 🐺 (10:08 a.m.) about?
you (10:08 a.m.) everything us
This time, it took him longer to respond. Ignoring every instinct that screamed otherwise, you typed up another text. There was no use hiding. There was never any use hiding with him.
you (10:12 a.m.) i don’t think i can do this
Almost immediately.
channie 🐺 (10:12 a.m.) me neither
Your heart leapt. You didn’t want it to give you hope. He had every right, every reason in the world, to not give you the time of day. He could get his closure and leave you, just as you’d left him.
channie 🐺 (10:13 a.m.) i can be over in 10?
A million thoughts sparked to life at once. The question of why he was already so close by. The urge to insist that you go meet him instead. The sudden realization that you were in no way prepared to see him so soon.
But all of it, overwhelming as it was, didn’t hold a candle to your strongest desire—a desire that could never be subdued by anything else. To put Chan first.
you (10:14 a.m.) okay, sure see you soon
Get here safe, Channie. You added in your head.
。⋆。˚ ʚïɞ ˚。⋆。⋆。˚ ʚïɞ ˚。⋆。⋆。˚ ʚïɞ ˚。⋆。
Chan looked tired when you opened the door. Eyes dull, drooping, littered with traces of pink and lined with dark circles. A few stray curls peeked out from beneath his beanie. You prayed that the black hoodie he was wearing wasn’t the same one he’d had on five days ago. He looked so tired. Tired and cold.
His gaze met yours. Just for a heartbeat, then it fell to the ground. You wanted to think it was because he felt self-conscious, you wanted to think it was that shyness—that hopelessly endearing shyness that got the best of him no matter how many times he looked at you. You didn’t want to believe that he simply couldn’t stomach the sight of you anymore.
“Are you okay?”
Chan tensed. Then, he caught you eyeing the bandaid on his thumb. He brushed his finger over it absentmindedly. He’d thought the pain had faded until now.
“Yeah. Just cut my finger.”
Your expression changed.
“On accident.”
“Oh,” you murmured. “Does it hurt?”
“A bit.”
You reached up to tug at your ear. He swiped his thumb over his nose.
“I—” you swallowed. The moment he’d stepped through the door, everything you’d so carefully planned to say, every point you’d spent hours trying to piece together into something comprehensible, was immediately tossed out the window. You had to navigate this in real time. There was no map for it—the path to something better. The only place you’d ever journeyed was your own destruction. 
“I’m so sorry,” you blurted out. “I think I messed up.”
He lifted his head. For once, unreadable.
“What do you mean?”
He knew what you meant, you were sure of it. But he wanted you to say it—needed you to say it. He needed you to dare to open yourself up to him, just as he had to you.
You understood now. That was the most important thing you could’ve ever given him, yet the one thing you’d refused to give.
“I’m not used to this,” you confessed. “I don’t know how to get used to it. You’re…you’re so good, Chan. To everyone. To me.”
Already, cracks were beginning to form in your composure. You had to keep it together, just enough to fix this. Just enough to hold the mirror up to him before it shattered. 
“When someone that good comes into your life, you wanna do everything you can to keep them, y’know? I wanted to do everything for you.”
Chan’s breath caught in his throat, audibly, and you knew a protest was building on his tongue. So, you barreled through.  
“It’s exactly because you’re so good that I got so scared. Because you wouldn’t just let me do it all for you like everyone else does.”
There was a pause, long and heavy enough for you to debate if you should just keep going, to air it all out and pray that at least some of it would come out sensical. But before you could, he spoke up, attentive as ever in what he chose to focus on. He narrowed it down like second nature, sought out the most essential part. The root of it all.
“You were scared?”
You winced. “I…yeah.”
“I’m sorry.”
Whatever remained of your heart from the past few days was effectively smashed into pieces. An apology from the last person on earth you needed to hear it from. An apology from someone who was owed so many apologies. From you, from himself, and from countless others who would never have to say it.
“Why are you sorry?” 
“I drove you to this, didn't I?” he whispered. “I thought about it the past few days—talked with Minho about it. I put you in a position you didn’t want. It’s my fault.”
“Oh, Channie,” it slipped out so naturally, with such ease, you didn’t even have the chance to second-guess yourself. “Your only fault is the way you treat yourself.”
Chan didn’t appear convinced. He shuffled his feet from side to side, hands heavy in the pocket of his hoodie. Restless, ashamed. Still not looking you in the eye. You weren’t grateful for it anymore; you missed his gaze. Dark and reflective, kind and curious. Seeing right through you, even with all its flickering around. 
“Maybe I needed to be put in that position,” you continued. “I was just too much of a coward to take it. B-because you were right. I try to be everything for people, then I end up being nothing. I was so afraid I was going to do that to you—or even worse. I was afraid I was going to be the one taking everything from you.”
“Why would you ever think that?” he sounded so helpless, like you were communicating in two completely foreign tongues. No room for speaking in riddles. “I saw every little way you cared for me. Always. Did you think I didn’t?”
Challenging him meant challenging yourself. You’d taken the plunge acutely aware of that fact, this time. Still, the panic rose in your chest all over again, the itch in your feet goaded you to turn and run.
“I know you did. And that’s more than enough for me.” You forced yourself to take a step forward instead, desperate to get through to him, desperate to reach him. “But when you do these things for me at your own expense…when you don’t tell me about it, don’t you see how that could scare me? As someone who cares about you?”
In all the time you’d known Chan, you’d never once have guessed that he could be so difficult. But if that unshakeable stubbornness would emerge over anything, of course it would be this. He would never make things difficult for anyone but himself. You still remembered how plainly he’d said it, how bleak and merciless and cold it had been: “It doesn’t matter.”
You could tell he sensed how on-edge you were, how laughably out of your element something like this was for you. But you were pushing yourself—for him. So, like a true reflection, he matched you.
“I guess I was scared, too,” he admitted quietly. “It’s been the only thing I know how to do for so long. I thought…I-I thought you’d leave if I did anything else. Because why else would you stay, y’know?”
You’d known it. Even before he’d bared himself to you, even before you’d had the knowledge to connect all the dots, you’d felt it, deep within you. But that didn’t make hearing him say it out loud any less devastating.
“I don’t love you because of what you can do for me, Chan.”
His eyes shot up at last. Wide, intense, searching. Realigning with you. A break in the fog that had been clouding your view of each other for the past five days.
It may have been unfair—cruel, even—to say now. But you needed him to hear it, even if this was the end of the road for you and him. You needed to at least plant the seed in his mind with the hopes that one day, with enough care, it might sprout into something beautiful.
“You’re worth so much as you are,” you tried to get a handle on the shake creeping into it. “You do so much for me just by being yourself.”
Chan blinked. Pupils darting between you and the floor, hands slipping from his pockets, face muscles twisting in an internal conflict. You could see him physically exerting all his willpower to not reject the idea—to dare to accept a love so unconditional, solely so that you might accept it in return.
“If I told you the same thing,” he began slowly. “Would you believe me?”
You sucked in a deep breath. “I can learn to believe it.”
His fingers flexed. You realized for the first time how close the distance between you and him had become—drifting towards each other involuntarily. That inevitable, magnetic pull, more powerful than any of the forces you’d studied in four years.
“Okay.” He was reaching out for you. “Then, how about we learn together, yeah?”
Your heart jumped against your ribcage. Over his words. Over the sight of his pinky, held out in earnest despite you giving it such little reason to ever do so again, waiting patiently to curl against yours. 
You’d believe in anything that connected you to him.
“Together.”
Just as quickly as things had fallen apart, the foundation was laid out for them to be put back together. A steady foundation, built to last. Your belief that day had turned out to be true, after all. Everything always worked out when you talked to Chan. When you leaned into him. When you didn’t run.
Heat rippled through you the instant your fingers entwined, fiercer, more all-consuming than even the first time you’d ever touched. Still, neither of you pulled away. For the first time in five days, you were warm again.
The new, unspoken promise igniting to life between you reminded you of another; one that you’d let sit on your ledger for far too long. One you’d made so carelessly to the boy who deserved all the care in the world. The boy who treated you with all the care in the world.
“I’m going to be more selfish from now on.” You tightened your hold on his pinky, creating a fresh buzz of heat. “Because I want you to be, too.”
You thought you were hallucinating it for a second, the beginnings of a grin on Chan’s face. Soft cheeks rising, not enough to draw out his dimples or eclipse his eyes, but enough to make you certain of your decision. The key you’d tossed out a year and a half ago was in that smile.
“Guess I’ve got no choice but to mirror you.”
“That’s right,” any firmness it might’ve had was lost to a smile of your own. Exhausted, but tragically enamored with the boy in front of you. “Since you wanna be my other half so bad, and all.”
He giggled. Short, sweet, playing the strings of your heart like a harp. Or, rather, its melody was the sound of your heart.
“I’m gonna tell you some things,” you warned. “And they’re not going to be nice. Or good. Is that okay?”
“Anything.” He unhooked his pinky from yours, only to wiggle his sleeve back and weave all of your fingers together instead. Five fingers, one for each of the days you’d spent apart. Your palm pressed against his, pumping faintly with your quickening pulse. “Tell me anything.”
You inhaled. Better to start with something smaller, first. A test run in this whole emotional openness thing.
“About Minho…”
“He gave you plenty of trouble, didn’t he?”
You puffed out a soft laugh. “Well, I gave him some back.”
“I scolded him,” Chan mumbled. “A lot. Bin did, too.”
You tried not to feel too satisfied about it. The idea of Chan, so doting, so unabashed in his adoration for the younger boy, rebuking him, addressing him with anything but overflowing fondness. You would take it as a small, private victory—one that Minho didn’t need to know about now that you’d both chosen to bury the hatchet.
“But…I hope you won’t think badly of him. He means well, really. He’s—”
“Soft at heart, right?” you finished for him. “It’s okay, we talked it out in the end. I think."
“Yeah,” he sighed. “Yeah, he told me.”
You could’ve laughed. Lee Minho. You never thought you’d see the day where the mention of him wouldn’t be promptly followed by a wave of absolute revulsion. You wondered if he was the reason Chan had even agreed to see you today. You wondered if he was the reason Chan had only been ten minutes away from your apartment before you’d even sent him a message.
“I just wish you’d told me.”
I wish you’d told me. They were words you’d said to him so many times, words you’d wanted to say on even more occasions. But it was in your hands, now. You were in each other’s hands, now. You didn’t have to wish anymore.
“I know.” You gave his palm a squeeze. “But you can see why I didn’t, right?”
He nodded, sheepish, well aware that it was a pointed question.
“A lot of the things Minho did were to protect you,” you murmured. “But, a lot of the things he said were things someone else once said to me. I guess it made them easier to believe.”
Chan’s thumb glided delicately across the back of your hand. You knew he could predict where this was going.
“When you told me about what happened two years ago, I think I related to you a lot. I think it was one of those shared experiences you talked about.”
Each sentence felt like it was being dragged out of you, uprooted. But it was necessary. Clearing the weeds out to make room for something less parasitic—maybe, even flowers. “My last relationship was with someone who took a lot out of me, too. He needed someone to depend on. I…I wanted to be that for him.”
“I know you did.” Gentle, sad. A tenderness for you and, hopefully, himself. It gave you the strength to keep going.
“He needed so many things, felt so many things. All his emotions became mine until I didn’t have any for myself,” you were losing control of your voice again. “I didn’t understand how you could ever blame yourself for what that girl did to you. But, really, I’ve always blamed myself, too. Because I let him rely on me. I promised to be everything for him, then I left.”
“But he never let you rely on him, did he?” Chan didn’t miss a beat, like he already knew the answer. “He wanted you to carry it all yourself.”
You averted your stare. “M-maybe. And maybe I wanted that, too. Some people just need more support than others, y’know? I thought I could handle it.”
You always thought you could handle it, even when every past experience proved otherwise. That was yet another thing Minho had been right about. You’d driven yourself mad repeating the same cycle over and over again, deluding yourself into thinking it could ever turn out any different.
“Nobody needs no support at all,” he pointed out. “Not even someone as strong as you.”
Strong. Hearing the word come out of his mouth—his perfect mouth, in that light, melodic voice—pricked at your eyes. It was a term you’d never once thought to describe yourself with. It was the exact opposite of everything you’d come to believe about yourself. You wanted to reject it, to crush the idea before letting it get to your head. But how could you, when it came from the strongest person you knew? How could you do anything but cling to it, cherish it?
“I don’t know if I’m strong,” you muttered, blinking away what was sure to come eventually. “It’s just that every time I’ve tried to lean on someone, they let me fall. So it’s better to stand on my own.”
“Yeah. I understand."
You knew that much was true. You knew, painfully well, how much he understood. And you knew he still thought you were strong.
“I…” Everything had been put into place—or, rather, everything had been properly displaced—for the dam to break loose. Tentatively, lovingly, he was helping you pull out each log. It filled you with fear, down to every last fiber of your being, but you knew that you could break in front of him. He wouldn’t crumble with you. He wouldn’t shatter over the mere prospect of you expressing an emotion of your own. He’d let you release, and when it was all over, he’d help you pick up the pieces. Just as you had with him.
“I lost my friend last year.”
“Lost…?”
“I mean, she passed away—last summer. She was in an accident back home.”
Such a common way to die for someone who was anything but. Such a special person to become part of such an ordinary statistic. Chan’s face morphed into something heartbreaking, a look that told you he felt everything you were feeling in that moment. The gears were turning in his head, you could see it unfolding through your blurred vision. That was why you hadn’t wanted to return home over the summer. That was why you’d come back to him so soon.
“I’m so sorry.”
You knew he wasn’t only giving his condolences, he was apologizing for ever cornering you to reveal it. For forcing you to unveil the wound that had been festering for so long. Bleeding with no signs of stopping, neglected with no signs of healing.
“It’s okay, I—” A lump rose in your throat. “I need to talk about it, I think. Never really did.”
His hand tugged at yours, just barely, uncertain. Always hesitant to pull you as close as he really wanted. You leaned forward all at once, falling into him. And he caught you.
“Never?” 
“I tried once.” You rested your head against him, and his arms locked securely around you straight away. No room for you to fear, even for a second, that he might let you fall. “I tried to tell him. He always said he felt bad that he wasn’t there for me like I was for him. B-but…” The wave was rising again. “He just left.”
You couldn’t see Chan’s expression, you weren’t sure if you wanted to. You didn’t want to know what anger might look like on such an angelic face. But you could feel it, his jaw clenching, his muscles tensing. You figured he must look something like you had that night in October, struggling to maintain the delicacy in your movements as he revealed things that had filled you with a protective fire.
“He left?” Chan repeated, strained. “He left you like that?”
“Yeah. I-I guess it made him feel worse to be there.”
His hand began to run slowly up and down your back; drawing out your pain and soothing it simultaneously. When he spoke again, his tone was softer. He’d put his anger to the side, just as you had that night. “It must have been lonely for you.” 
Lonely. Something else you’d never once considered. Something else that became so obvious only once he’d said it. You’d always been surrounded by people, but they were all flocking to a version of you that didn’t exist. A version you’d let them believe was real, because that was so much easier. Maybe the version of you, in your truest form, had been lonely.
“A little.” You buried your nose into his hoodie. No scent of sweet citrus today, no vanilla cherry blossom. Just him. “I think she’s the only one I could’ve talked to about it. She…she was a lot like you, in some ways.”
Something seemed to dawn on Chan, because he gripped you a little tighter, pulled you impossibly closer. The realization that the universe had taken away the only person you’d ever come to rely on. Of course you would be terrified to ever let anyone take that role again.
“She sounds exactly the kind of friend you deserve,” his voice rumbled softly where you rested against his chest. “You can tell me about her. About it all. I’m here to listen.”
“I want to,” you took in a sharp inhale. “But I think I’m going to cry.”
“You can do that, too.” 
The wave engulfed you in full. For the first time since the day you’d lost her, you allowed yourself to cry over her.
Given how long you’d been holding it in, it didn’t come out nearly as explosive as you’d expected. The tears slipped from your eyes and down your cheeks without a sound, but they came and came and came. Each hot stream was immediately followed by a fresh one, a buildup of all the sorrow you’d kept sealed inside you for the past year and a half, and all the years before that. You didn’t sob or wail or scream out, but with how tightly Chan was holding you, you were certain he felt every tremor, every subdued hiccup, every droplet soaking through his clothes.
“It’ll be okay, one day,” he promised. “You’ll remember all the happy times with her. That’s something you can never lose.”
You hoped it was true. You hoped that one day, you could step off the train in your hometown, take in the pine-tinged summer air, pick a chrysanthemum from that flower stall, and remember her with that warm, glowing ball of light you used to carry in your chest.
Chan didn’t stop rubbing your back the entire time you cried. He didn’t stop enveloping you in his warmth. He didn’t stop humming sweetly in your ear. 
He didn’t leave.
The tears eventually stopped flowing, not because it didn’t hurt anymore—you just didn’t think your body could keep up. No amount of tears could ever live up to your grief for her. But your breathing slowed, your shaking steadied, and, as much as your head positively throbbed, a sense of tranquility came with it, one you couldn’t remember the last time you’d felt.
“Thank you, Channie,” you mumbled. “Thank you for being here.”
“Thank you for trusting me.”
After everything you’d put him through the past five days, after he’d listened to you so intently and patiently as you poured your heart out, after he’d comforted you when he was still in such a fragile state himself, he was thanking you. It was hopeless. You would fall in love with him over and over again, every moment you spent with him. 
“Have you…” he hesitated. “Have you ever thought about talking to someone? About everything?”
“No,” you choked out a sad laugh. “Not really.”
Chan hummed again, quiet. He rested his hand on the back of your head, as if to pull you so far into him that you’d meld fully together.
“You shouldn’t torture yourself anymore,” he murmured.
“Neither should you.”
So immediate, so resolute, it made him stiffen against you.
“My stuff doesn’t compare to any of this.”
“That’s not true. You’ve only told me the half of it, haven’t you?” You curled your fingers a bit tighter around his hoodie. “You've been through so much to become this strong, haven’t you?”
The peaceful drag of his hand finally stopped. When he spoke, his voice was thick with emotion. He'd been holding it together up until now, for you, even if your every tremble and sniffle made his chest ache like your pain was his own.
“Maybe,” he rasped. 
“So, let’s work towards something better. Together.”
“Together,” he agreed.
You raised your head at last, squeezing your eyes shut so that any remaining trace of tears trickled free. Chan reached up to swipe the droplets away with his thumb, soaking his bandaid. Still, neither of you let go. There were so many things to let go of, but not each other.
“I finished Placebo,” he said softly. “Do you want to hear it?”
The final promise that had yet to be fulfilled.
“Yeah,” you smiled. Weak, a piteous sight, probably, but genuine. “It makes me happy.”
You were lulled back to that day in April, seated next to Chan in the warm, coffee-infused atmosphere of the library, trying not to fall head over heels in love with him right then and there while he played the instrumental for you with a giddiness so uncontainable that he had to bite down on his fist. As you heard Placebo’s lyrics for the first time—lyrics that had gone through countless rearrangements, rewrites, and delays—you decided it must’ve been fate that it had been brought to completion now, of all times. You felt Chan in every line, every vitalizing beat, every nostalgic melody of the synth. You understood it better now than you ever would have back then.
But just as you’d predicted on that warm day in April, it became your new favorite.
。⋆。˚ ʚïɞ ˚。⋆。⋆。˚ ʚïɞ ˚。⋆。⋆。˚ ʚïɞ ˚。⋆。
The sun had been shining for two days straight. Bright, unobstructed by a single cloud, bathing everything in gold. It filtered through the blinds of your window, casting a delicate pattern of light on Chan’s face and creating quite possibly the most breathtaking view you’d ever seen. And you were warm. Warm against each other.
His curls were free, messy, tousled as you combed through them. You relished in every ringlet dancing between your fingers, in each content sound he let slip when your nails grazed his scalp. You brushed his bangs back, revealing his face to you in full—droopy eyes, big, adorable nose, soft cheeks, faintly freckled skin, every feature illuminated with nowhere to hide—then allowed them to fall into his eyes once more. The dark locks moved as one, a fluffy unit. He wasn’t taking care of them properly. You wanted to wash them again, give them the treatment they deserved.
Chan watched you the entire time you played with his hair, curious, mesmerized. Every flop of his curls against his forehead made him giggle, and so, you did it again and again. You couldn’t help it. After five days without him, without that sweet, harmonious sound, you could listen to him laugh for hours on end and still yearn for more.
But his lips were getting poutier with every card of your fingers, his thighs were shifting beneath you more and more. Impatient, even if he didn’t say it out loud. He didn’t have to say a thing for you to hear him willing you to do it, begging you to do it. So, you leaned in and kissed him.
He sighed into it, just like he always did. But it was higher in pitch this time, involuntary, a neediness he typically tried to suppress until later down the line when it grew into something unbearable. He was already so vocal, so responsive, but today, he needed you more than ever. Every gap, every crevice between your bodies, he needed filled with you.
His lips consumed your senses, plush and plump and warm. They moved against yours seamlessly, encasing you in his softness, matching your rhythm, every part and pucker. So attentive, even through his haze of longing. It was familiar, the most natural thing in the world, yet still something you’d never get used to—something you never wanted to get used to. How his lips chased yours so insatiably, how they warmed you to your very core.
You were both breathless when you broke apart. That was nothing new either, you would kiss each other until your lungs cried out and then some. With the way Chan hardly pulled back, mouth ghosting just a centimeter away as you panted lightly in unison, you might’ve thought he needed to kiss you more than he needed oxygen. You took his lower lip between your teeth, nibbling delicately just to get a taste of him while the two of you caught your breath.
“Missed you,” he whimpered. “God, I missed you.”
Your chest ached. 
“I know, baby.” 
Giving his bottom lip a light tug, you released it. You could tell his head was starting to go fuzzy, it was far more important for you to speak clearly. You rested your hand on his curls again, trying to keep yourself composed for his sake—even if your body was screaming for you to take him back and take him back now. “I know. I missed you, too.”
“Don’t leave me, please?” For once, a selfish request. 
He pecked the corner of your mouth as he said it, then your jaw, growing less controlled the further down he moved. He was getting lost in you, he wanted to lose himself in you and never find his way out again.
“Never,” you assured him. 
“Promise?” 
He nuzzled his nose into your neck, lips pressing urgent kisses to every spot of flesh they touched. Gentle and intense, hot and wet. They cooled your skin and set it ablaze, all at once. 
You’d gone five days without each other before—even longer, on particularly hectic weeks—but it had never been anything like this. After the emptiness that came in your time apart, the holes that had been left behind where you’d ripped yourself away from him, you wanted every kiss absorbed into your skin, filling them up one by one. You found yourself wondering, for what was neither the first nor the last time, how you’d ever managed to trick yourself into thinking you could be without him. You couldn’t even take him in moderation.
“I promise,” you murmured. “I'm not going anywhere, I promise.”
Chan whined, opening his mouth against the edge of your collarbone, sucking, tongue flickering lightly against it. You allowed him to, petting his head, humming sweetly to him as he covered every inch he roamed with that irresistible heat.
His restlessness beneath you grew more obvious—squirming. He ran his hands up and down your sides, feeling and grabbing and holding onto you like you might disappear if he didn’t. His usual hesitance to touch was nowhere to be found today, far overpowered by his hunger for you. You adjusted your position in his lap, and the beginnings of his desire brushed against your thigh, adorably transparent as always. It made your own self-control slip just a bit. Suddenly, his clothes were forming far too thick of a barrier between you and him for your liking.
You pulled gently at his hair, catching his attention enough for him to lift his head from your neck. His lips were already swelling, deepening from that pretty pink shade into something even more addictive. His eyes were dark, dilated, and so hopeful, like he didn’t already know where this was going. Like he had no idea that you craved him every bit as much as he craved you.
“It’s getting warm, huh, Channie?”
“Mhm.” He rested his cheek against your palm. “You’re so warm.”
“Let’s get you out of this, then.” You reached down to dip your fingers under the hem of his sweater. Reluctant to let go for even a moment, Chan kept his hands close to you, wiggling around as best as he could to help you slip the garment off. He blinked his eyes open once you’d pulled it over his head, catching a glimpse of his reflection in your dresser mirror, directly across from where the two of you sat tangled up in each other. It made his stomach drop a bit. Hair unkempt, eyes sunken, face puffy from what was a concerning lack of rest over the past week, even by his standards.
His gaze averted, flickering right back to you the instant he took in his appearance. Brief as the action was, it wasn’t lost on you, twisting your emotions and resurfacing an idea in your mind—one that had been brewing ever since the day of the showcase, where Chan had avoided looking into the bathroom mirror like his life depended on it.
You cupped his cheeks, pushing them together just enough for his lips to pucker.
“You’re glowing, Channie,” you marveled. “You’re so beautiful.”
He furrowed his brows. “I’m not.”
You pressed your thumbs into his skin, chiding. “The light’s hitting your face so perfectly. You look like an angel.” 
Chan’s breath quickened, another deflection building in his throat. You slid your hands down from his face, allowing the golden rays of the sun to fully illuminate him, just as they illuminated the moon. 
“I…” he chuckled. “Th-thank you, but I’m a mess.”
You frowned, placing your hands over his. Panic struck when you urged him to unlatch his fingers from your hips, you could tell by the way he gripped you just a bit tighter. It was another pang to your chest. Somewhere in the depths of his mind, that reflex had been ingrained. But you weren’t going to leave him, not even for a second. You kept your hands firmly rested on his shoulders as you hoisted yourself off his lap and settled down right behind him on the mattress. Comforting him with your touch, reminding him that you were there.
You peered into the mirror from over Chan’s shoulder, met with the gorgeous sight of his bare upper half and, unsurprisingly, his head ducked in embarrassment. A mop of dark curls shielding him from himself. 
“You should try looking at yourself through my eyes,” you suggested. “You might like what you see.”
He glanced up to meet your stare in the mirror, stubbornly set on ignoring his own figure. You dragged your hands along his tense shoulders, feeling up the warm expanse of skin, the curves of his muscles—taut, yet tender.
“Rather look at you,” he said softly.
Affection swelled inside you, but you were determined to maintain your resolve, even when faced with an opponent as formidable as Chan’s oblivious charm. 
“Why?” You faked a pout. “You’ve already got such a pretty view right here.”
You lowered yourself to brush your lips against his neck, almost completely out of sight. He all but jolted as you pressed an open-mouthed kiss right below his jawline, just as reactive as your first night together. Just as honest and open and just as painfully cute. Your hand slipped over his shoulder to take hold of his chin, tilting it up, exposing his throat fully to you and encouraging him to look at himself.
“You’re a gorgeous boy, Channie.” Your words melted right into his ear. “Everyone can see it.”
You pressed another kiss to the juncture of his shoulder and neck—his weak spot. With how sensitive he was, every part of his body may as well have been his weak spot, but the sound he let out as you grazed your teeth over it was like no other. Sweet and pleading in the back of his throat. It spiked in volume when you closed your mouth over the patch of skin, unconcerned this time over whether or not the mark would show. He wanted it to. And, selfishly, so did you.
“I-I don’t see it,” he stuttered at last. “I can’t.”
Your tsk of disapproval was met with another shaky sigh as you ran your tongue over the fresh lovebite. It soothed his burning skin, fogged up any remaining space in his head. You took a moment to admire the blooming red ring before gliding your lips over to a new spot to sully. He was yours, even untouched, but you wanted to leave traces of yourself everywhere, to make him a part of you in every sense.
“Look at yourself, baby,” you ordered gently.
His Adam's apple bobbed under your mouth, swallowing down his misgivings and finding the courage to comply. Before he even locked eyes with himself in the mirror, his ears were already flushing at their tips.
“There we go. Good boy.”
The praise eased his mind a bit, but you could still feel his heartbeat racing under your kisses, pulsing beneath your traveling fingers. All simply because of the sight of himself—a sight you wanted engraved permanently into your memories, just as badly as he wanted it removed from his. 
“Look at all these muscles. So big and strong.” You flattened your palms against his broad shoulders, trailing slowly, appreciatively, down to his biceps. Arms you used to dream about having bulge beneath your hands. Arms you had at your mercy, even in all their strength. Because it was a strength used solely to protect others, never to harm.
You wrapped your fingers around the defined muscles, too large to even close your grip entirely around. They flexed under your touch—a detail you found adorable, strangely enough.
“D-do you…” Chan licked his lips. “D’you like them?”
You smiled against his skin. Such an endearingly Chan question. Setting himself up for a response that he wouldn’t be able to handle; a response that was sure to set his face on fire and put a stammer in his speech.
“I might like them too much,” you admitted. “So pretty to look at. So irresistible to touch. So cute when I hold them down,” you mumbled the compliments between each kiss you peppered along his arm veins, protruding from his nervous hold on the sheets. “So strong, but so weak for me.”
Chan’s reaction didn’t disappoint, cheeks heating up instantly to match the burn of his ears, dimples making a timid appearance. Anything he attempted to say was lost in the shy, breathless laugh he sputtered out. You knew right about now that he was wishing he had some kind of cap, beanie—anything to pull over his face and hide away. To hear your doting words without having to face himself. Maybe then, he’d believe them.
“You work so hard, don’t you, Channie?” you cooed. “Such a strong, beautiful body for a strong, beautiful boy.”
“A-ah…please.” Chan fought back the impulse to cross his arms over his torso, solely because he didn’t want to lose the feeling of your mouth ravishing them. Instead, he squeezed his eyes closed, too flustered to bear. Your hands found his chest without warning, cupping his pecs and making him squeak. He sank his teeth into his bottom lip, a split second too late in trying to mask the pitiful noise.
“You have no idea what you do to me.” You dug your nails delicately into his chest, just enough to make him shudder. “I can’t believe you’re mine.”
To that, he didn’t object. “Yours, ‘m all yours.” It was eager, immediate, accompanied by a tilt of his head. Urging you to make it known, to leave marks of yourself all over his neck until it belonged just as much to you as it did him. 
“All mine.” You rolled his nipples delicately between your fingers, earning a broken whimper that made heat pool in your stomach. “My pretty boy.”
Chan jerked forward, every intoxicating word of praise, every drop of your attention making his arousal skyrocket. With his eyes still shut tight, all his other senses were on high alert. The serene sound of your voice reverberated all around him, the deliberate care of your touch sent tremors up his spine. You roamed further down his body, fingertips dancing over his lean abdomen, tracing the outlines of his muscles. His stomach clenched as you did; exhilarated, rising and falling with each rapid breath. He felt so vulnerable—all his pleasure, all his comfort, all his worth in the palm of your hand. More exposed than ever, yet somehow, safer than ever. He could stay blind through it all and trust you to guide him to the other side.
“Open your eyes for me, baby.”
He pressed his lips together, protest cut short when you inched dangerously close to where he needed you most.
“There,” he gasped out. “There, please.”
Mischievously, you pinched the skin right above his waistband, satisfaction rushing through you when he throbbed in the confines of his sweatpants. “Where?” you questioned, deceptively innocent. “You have to look and see.”
You drifted further down, skimming the softness of his hips and stroking his tensed thigh. “Here?”
“No,” he huffed, face scrunching in frustration. “Please, ‘s too embarrassing.”
Your hum was full of sympathy, but your hand said otherwise, moving along his inner thigh and giving it a light squeeze. “How about here?”
You knew what was coming by now. So, you snaked your legs around his waist from behind, prying his thighs apart before they could clamp together reflexively. The added contact only made Chan’s composure weaken further, a low groan spilling out of him. Practically every part of your body was pressed against his—head tucked into his neck, chest rubbing against his back, hands grasping him wherever they slid, thighs resting on his—but it wasn’t enough. He needed more before he crumbled completely against you. Or, rather, he needed more to crumble completely against you.
His eyes snapped open at last, hazy, disoriented. He blinked a few times to readjust his vision, taking in the view before him. His puffed, rosy cheeks, his neck, painted with deep, crimson marks, his arms and torso, lined with the faint drag of your nails. Every part of himself that he chose to focus on was evidence of you on his body.
“Beautiful,” you said firmly.
“Ah…th-thank you.”
His reflection peered back at him, nowhere to hide. But with it, he found his other reflection, one he could admire so wholeheartedly, one he could never run out of things to love about. When at your side, maybe he didn’t look so bad.
Your lips were by his ear again, he felt your breath fanning softly next to it, saw your mouth opening unexpectedly close to his piercing—so close that he thought you may take it between your teeth again. He wasn’t sure he’d be able to contain himself if you did.
“Where do you want me to touch you, Channie?” you whispered.
His stare dropped to your hand, more than ready for any excuse to redirect his attention from himself. You rubbed gentle circles into his thighs, traveling upwards at an agonizingly slow place. Chan sucked in through his teeth, a fresh wave of embarrassment passing over him when his dick twitched again, as if it was crying out the answer for him.
“My baby’s so shy,” you remarked playfully. “But your body isn't.”
He squirmed between your legs with a sound of pure helplessness, too worked up to handle your teasing properly—not that he ever really handled it well, in the first place. 
“P-please, need you so bad.”
You softened. “I’m here.”
His eyes followed your movements in a glimmer of hope, fixated on your hand like a puppy would with its favorite treat. When you came to brush over his bulge at last, his hips shot forward, pressing into your palm in a way that made your stomach flutter, and his twist with pleasure. He didn’t even have the chance to feel humiliated about it, not when you finally curled your fingers around him like he’d been longing for so intently, so fiercely that even thinking straight had become a challenge for him.
“Is this it?” you asked sweetly.
“Mmph, yes. There, please.”
You gave him a squeeze, feeling up the shape of his length through his sweatpants. So hard without a single touch to it, more than ready for you—desperate for you. It made the ache between your own legs take over in full. Restraint slipping, you dipped your fingers below his waistband to tug his sweatpants off. Chan reacted immediately, scrambling to raise himself from the mattress just enough for you to slide them down along with his underwear. You couldn’t even find the patience in you to remove the garments entirely, instead letting them rest halfway down his legs.
Chan’s gaze flickered back to you in the mirror, just in time to catch the way your eyes gleamed at the sight of his bare body. Length glistening with precum, pressed and dripping against his stomach. Milky thighs, dotted with delicate moles you could kiss endlessly. But you wanted to leave a different kind of mark on them, today. You ran your hands along his flesh—gentle, pacifying—then dragged your nails back up all at once, raking his skin and leaving a trail of pale lines that quickly deepened in shade. Chan inhaled sharply, throwing his head back against your shoulder, muscles constricting under your fingers.
“Pretty little thing,” you crooned. “You’re unreal.”
There was no time for him to recover—not from the delicious sting on his thighs, not from your doting words—before you took his cock into your hold at last. It sent a ripple of heat all throughout his body, almost enough to make him unravel right then and there.
You gave him a few careful pumps, delighted by the sheer amount of wetness that had dribbled from his tip, allowing you to move with ease. Using your free hand, you nudged his head from your shoulder to direct him back to the mirror. Despite knowing full well that the visual he’d be met with would turn his brain to mush, he obeyed. He would do anything you so much as suggested in that moment.
“You’re just like that moon you love so much,” you murmured. “You know that, Channie?”
It pierced through the lust occupying his thoughts, pulling him out from his haze just enough to string together a feeble response. “What—ah. What d’you mean?”
He tried not to let the sight of your fingers, sticky with his arousal, gliding up and down his most intimate spot, twisting and teasing in all the right ways like you knew his body better than he did, distract him from what you said next. If there was anything to focus on, it was you. 
“The moon can only see itself reflected in the water.” You swirled your thumb along his slit, using your other hand to run the pads of your fingers tenderly along his cheek. The combination was enough to make him dizzy. So much love, so much pleasure. He didn’t know how to handle it. He would never know how to handle it. “It doesn’t see its own beauty or light. Just the way it gets distorted by the ripples all around it.”
Before he could even fully process the comparison, Chan’s eyes began to water. This time, you knew without a shadow of a doubt that it was happiness imbued in those tears. A happiness the both of you still needed adjusting to.
“So, look at yourself clearly, now,” you encouraged, pressing a kiss to his temple. “Look at your reflection when it isn’t broken.”
It may have been too much for him at once; such adoration amidst everything else he was experiencing. The stimulation to every last one of his nerve endings, the bliss consuming his body and mind, robbing him of any coherent thought. But you needed to say it just as much as he needed to hear it. You wanted all the pleasure, all the love he felt in that moment to be associated with himself.
“O-oh, wow,” he choked out. “I…I don’t…”
I don’t deserve this. You could hear it on the tip of his tongue, clear as day. But he was too awestruck to protest, too awestruck to even speak. You felt a tinge of protectiveness—he was so far gone.
“D-dunno what to s-say,” he stammered. You knew it was taking every ounce of his strength not to bury his face into the crook of your neck, to let himself go completely and forget about anything that wasn’t you.
“It’s okay, Channie. You don’t have to say anything. Just look.”
You studied him in the mirror, nearly melting when you noticed him blinking the few, fragile droplets from his eyes—listening diligently to you, clearing his vision from any water that might distort it. He drank in his reflection in full, stiff, uneasy, but relaxing slightly between your legs when you pressed another kiss to his cheek.
“So pretty, every inch of you.” Your hand resumed its stroking, sliding down to the base of his length, cupping him gently. “Even prettier when you’re filling me up.”
“Oh my gosh,” he gasped, jerking in your grip. Even with the mirror there to guide him, he struggled to coordinate his hand movements, pawing aimlessly behind him to find some part of you to grab onto, some part of you to anchor himself with. “Please, please. Wanna feel you.”
“I know, baby boy,” you shushed him. “You’re dripping so much. Poor thing.”
You dragged your index finger along the underside of his cock one last time before pulling away with a light flick. Chan barely stopped himself from surging forward, chasing your hand like an instinct. That, coupled with the mewl he let out when he registered the sudden loss of your body heat around him, tugged at your heart just as much as it spiked your adrenaline. You made quick work of removing your clothes, well aware of his eyes, wide as moons, watching you undress through the mirror, waiting for you to return to him. Restless, yearning, but obedient above all else.
He reached for you the instant you settled back in his lap, hovering over your waist for just a second before ultimately latching on, skin on skin, a whole new layer of heat. You took his length back into your grasp, turning your body so that you were both facing your dresser mirror. You could hear Chan’s breathing pick up behind you, feel his chest expanding against your back.
“See that, Channie?” You dragged the head of his dick along your folds, coating it with your own wetness. “Just looking at you gets me like this.”
If all you’d said wasn’t enough, maybe the physical proof of his effects on you would help do the trick. A sweet, desperate vocalization, so rife with need that you could practically taste it, was all he could manage. It morphed into a moan as you sank down on him all at once—loud, absolutely shameless. You would never think it came from the boy who couldn’t even catch a glimpse of himself without being reduced to a flustered wreck. Just as your heat engulfed him, his engulfed you. It came more intensely than ever before, more staggering than even your first time together, bolting through your veins and making you suppress a gasp. You clenched around his cock, relishing in the feeling of him pressed so snugly inside you, as close as physically possible. So comforting in its familiarity, so exhilarating in its return. It was something you could only describe as relief, relief in the warmth, the fullness, the completion you brought to each other.
Chan’s head fell forward with a whimper, chin resting against your shoulder, clinging to you so tightly that it was difficult to move. You weren’t even sure if he was aware of it, a subconscious desire to stay buried inside you, not wanting to lose the security of your walls wrapped around him for even a second. 
“Missed you so much,” he slurred into your skin. “W-wanna stay like this forever.”
You reached back to cradle his head, running your fingers through his hair. “I missed you too, angel. Missed the way you fill me up so perfectly.”
You lifted yourself until just the head of his cock was left pulsing inside you. When you noticed Chan’s blissed out expression in the mirror—eyes fluttered shut, lips swollen against your shoulder, eyebrows knitted together—a golden opportunity presented itself. It took him a second or two to realize that you weren’t sliding back down, another soft plea rumbling in his throat, vibrating into your skin. You gave his scalp an affectionate scratch, prompting him to look. This time, he listened without question, driven solely by the need to feel your wet heat around him again.
“Good boy.” You took him back inside immediately, not keen on being apart for much longer, either. He gritted his teeth as you did, trying his best to keep his gaze leveled with his reflection for you, for your satisfaction, for your approval. But nothing could’ve prepared him for what came out of your mouth next. 
“See how perfect you look when you’re inside me, Channie? See all the pretty faces you make? My pretty baby, feeling so good. Making me feel so good.”
At that, the precious little that had remained of Chan’s composure fizzled out completely. His hands flew up to cover his face, hot with shame, burning with arousal. The filthy sight of him pushing in and out of you, the wet sounds filling his ears, the teasing lilt of your voice. It was all too much. He shoved his nose into his palms, letting out a cute, mortified wail that echoed throughout the bedroom, mixing with your breathless giggles. 
Even as you continued riding him, he stayed hidden behind the safety net of his fingers, shyness turned back up to full blast with no signs of disappearing. It only added to the pressure building up inside your abdomen to see him so overwhelmed, each muffled grunt and soft whimper of his spurring you on. Your words from earlier rang truer than ever—he was so weak for you.
You allowed him to stay that way for the sake of his sanity, petting his head with a gentleness that contrasted the steady pace of your bouncing. It wasn’t until you felt his cock begin to jerk inside you that he pulled his hands away from his face with a choked noise, reaching out for you once more.
“Can’t take it—mmph—‘m getting close! ‘M s-sorry!”
His fingers dug deep into your flesh, igniting heat at every point of contact. You basked in the feeling for as long as you could, then halted your movements altogether, pulling off of him in one fell swoop. The loss made both of your bodies cry out in protest. Chan hiccuped pathetically, mouth falling open, confused blinks reflecting in the mirror when your softness, your warmth, escaped him without warning.
He trembled underneath you, tugging at your waist as he tried to get a handle on his voice. With care, you turned in his lap to come face to face with him again, moving slowly enough as not to break his hold on you, not even for a moment.
“Did I…” he panted. “Did I do something wrong?”
You brushed your thumb over his forehead, wiping away the beads of sweat that had begun to accumulate. “No, baby. You’re doing so well for me,” you assured him. “But you wanna finish together, don’t you?”
It was almost funny, in a sense, how the way Chan’s face lit up—how his features flooded with pure delight—made your heart flutter more than anything else. More than any irresistible sound he let out, more than any way he let you use his body to your heart’s content. You were just as captivated, just as endeared, just as hopelessly taken with him as that night in May, walking home alongside him under the moonlight and knowing your fate was sealed.
“Y-yeah, together. Together, please.” He leaned forward, nose finding your neck, taking in your scent. “Can we stay like this? Wanna see you.”
Your hand found his length again, wrapping just tight enough around it to make him jolt. “Hm…you can see me in the mirror though, can’t you?”
“Please,” he repeated, pouty lips brushing against your skin. “Only wanna see you. Need you.”
You relented. Regardless of how badly you wanted to get the message across to him, regardless of how addictive you found the sight of him on display in ways you’d never seen before, you knew he’d just about reached his limit. And, well, maybe you needed him too. Needed to watch him fall apart right before your very eyes, needed to have every bit of your skin pressed against his, needed to kiss him when it all became too much for his foggy mind.
“You’re so cute. I’ve got you, baby.” You tilted his chin up with your free hand, half-lidded doe eyes finding yours. Knowing him, the eye contact wouldn’t last long before he was ducking away again. So, you took advantage of it, realigning him with you and watching his features flood with pleasure as you sank down on him once more. He had to stop himself from bucking up into you, body stiffening with effort, a breathy, grateful moan, nothing short of angelic, slipping past his lips.
“You’ve gotta hold on for a bit, alright?” You gave his shoulders a squeeze. “Let me know when you’re close. Can you do that for me, Channie?”
His arms wrapped around you in full, no longer content with just his hands on your waist. “Mhm.” He barely mustered up a nod, pulling himself closer to you in a way that burrowed his cock impossibly deeper inside. “Promise. W-wanna make you feel good, too. Wanna be a good boy for you.”
“My good boy,” you cooed. “See how well you fit inside me? See how good you make me feel?” You clenched around him as you dragged yourself up his length, snapping back down with a delicious speed. “You were made for me.”
“M-made for you,” he agreed, head falling forward to nestle into your chest. “Ah—fuck! You’re so warm. Feels s-so good.”
You dug your nails into his muscles, using your grip on him for leverage as you began working your way up to a pace even more vigorous than before. Immediately, the new angle took a toll on Chan. It allowed the head of his length to rub directly against your sweet spot with each rock of your hips, making the both of you shudder. You could feel his mouth fall open against you to let out an especially sharp cry, nibbling mindlessly at your flesh, matching your rhythm.
“You’re mine, t-too, right? Gonna stay with me?” he babbled into your skin. “Please, tell me you’ll stay. I’ll be good for you. P-please.”
The coil in your chest twisted just as tight as the one in your abdomen. You knew his thoughts were muddled, ridding him of any filter and making him ramble in the heat of the moment. But you also knew it stemmed from a very real fear, one that you would never feed into again.
“You’re already so good for me, Channie. You’re perfect. My perfect boy,” you spoke as steadily as your erratic movements and shaky breath would allow, ensuring that each reassurance found him. “I’m not going anywhere, okay? I’m here ‘cause I love you.”
Chan whined, ringing out loud and clear even through the softness of your chest. “Love you. I love you so much.” He nuzzled further into you, strengthening his hold around you, hands pawing at your sides. The words seemed to have opened the floodgates within him, like he’d been waiting to hear them—the catalyst for him to lose himself in you completely. “Love you, love you, love you. ‘M almost th-there.”
This time, there was a short delay before you could bring yourself to stop. You didn’t want to let go of him again, no amount of time would be tolerable enough. So, you stayed perfectly still, indulging selfishly in the feeling of him inside you without snapping the final thread just yet. Chan lifted his head, disoriented, biting down on his bottom lip to fight back a pathetic groan as his climax was denied once more. You could feel his thighs quivering under yours, his arms flexing around you, his cock twitching wildly against your walls. Every bit of his energy was being expended to hold himself together, to endure it however many times you saw fit.
“You’re doing so well, baby boy. Lasting so long for me.” You twirled a lock of his damp curls around your finger, hoping to keep him grounded enough to hang on just a bit more. 
“Y-yeah? ‘M doing okay?” He brushed his nose against yours, a silent plea that you understood all too well by now. “Making you feel good?”
“So good, Channie. I’m getting close, too.” You closed the gap between you and him before his wordless request became another whine, taking his swollen lips between yours. They were hot, pillowy, unbelievably wet. You tried your best not to flutter around him, but it was impossible not to when he was humming so eagerly into your mouth, kissing without an ounce of self-control left in his system. His movements were sloppy, uncoordinated, but each messy slide of his lips sent another jolt through your senses. The hug he’d enveloped you in loosened at last, hands wandering obsessively over your body until he found your chest. He paused for a moment, mumbling out something that made drool drip from the corner of his mouth.
“Mmph, c-can I? Wanna touch, please.”
Even now, he was clinging to the last few shreds of his rationality for you, thinking of you above all else when the promise of his climax was dangling right in front of his face. It took the arousal coursing through your veins to a whole new degree, so intensely that you had to stop yourself from sinking your teeth into his lips out of raw affection. 
“Go ahead, baby,” you murmured.
Chan cupped the soft flesh in an instant, sighing like he was slipping into a dream. His kisses became near-frantic, so drunk on you that he had trouble staying confined to just your lips, landing on the corner of your mouth, all over your cheeks, pecking and sucking any spot he could. Despite that, his hands were gentle, kneading at your flesh in a delicate back and forth pattern that calmed him and kindled a fresh warmth in your body. He was doing so well for you, trying his absolute best for you. You wanted to give him everything. You wanted to take his heart that he offered up to you so willingly, and give him yours in return.
“Ready to keep going, Channie? Can you take it?”
“Y-yeah. Yes, please,” he breathed. “Gonna do it for you. I’ll do anything.”
“My sweet boy.” You cupped his cheeks, steadying his clumsy kisses, but holding him just close enough to keep him content. He hissed softly as you began moving again, rolling your hips down so that his length grinded against your walls, stimulating every nerve-ending inside you. The heat building between your bodies became much harder to ignore, filling the air around you and seeping into your skin. It was heavy, thick, but it made you feel lighter than ever. Your high was drawing near, and, judging by the way Chan’s hips stuttered with less and less restraint, you knew he wouldn’t be able to hold back for much longer either.
The pads of his fingers dug into your breasts just as he let out a warning moan. “Oh God, ‘m sorry. Please, don’t wanna finish without you. So—ngh—close.”
You grinded down against him, spine tingling when Chan yelped in response, so sharp it almost sounded like he was in pain. “Mm, just a little more, baby boy. You can do that for me, can’t you?”
“I-I…oh, please,” he swallowed hard, eyebrows scrunching together as you dragged yourself all the way up his length, mind-numbingly slow. “Yeah, I can do it. I’ll be g-good.”
Your hands traveled up to his hair, tangling in his curls and pulling at them just hard enough to make goosebumps rise at his nape. “Channie listens so well,” you purred. “You were made to please, hm? Good boy, good boy.”
If your honeyed praises weren’t enough to push him alarmingly close to the edge, the way you squeezed around him as you sank back down, wrapping him in your heat all the way to his base surely was. Chan surged forward with a sob, head falling into your shoulder, fingers grasping at you helplessly.
“Your good boy,” he whimpered. “Please, please, ‘m not gonna l-last.”
You cradled the back of his head. “It’s too much, huh angel?” you pouted. “You can let it all out, now.”
“Together?” You could hear the strain in his voice, mere seconds away from losing it completely. “Together—ah��right?”
“Together.”
At that, you gave one last sloppy glide along his length, snapping the tension in both of you at once. Chan cried out, teeth grazing against your shoulder, hips surging up to push as far into you as your bodies would allow. A delicious heat seared through your senses, only amplified by the flood of his release coating your insides, stronger than ever from how long he’d been holding back. You tried to keep your own sounds under control, far more entranced by the ones slipping from his trembling lips. Mewls of your name, slurring out how much he loved you, chanting his gratitude like a mantra as you guided him through your shared high.
Minutes or hours could’ve passed and you wouldn’t have known the difference—you wouldn’t have minded either way. Eventually, the shivers in Chan’s body faded out, his panting evened into softer, more peaceful breaths. When he finally found it in him to pull his head from the comfort of your neck, droplets had begun to form in his eyes again. Not enough to spill down his cheeks quite yet, just enough to glaze his pupils over with happy tears, just enough to make them shine.
Your fingers danced absentmindedly in his hair, serving as a different pleasure from the kind that had just rocked your bodies. “You did so well for me, Channie. I’m proud of you.”
He blinked up at you. Slow, lazy, a dreamy smile tugging at his lips. “You’re s’ beautiful.”
“Sweet baby,” you murmured. “I hope you think the same when you see yourself.”
Anything he planned to say trailed off when you reached down for his hand, bringing it up to your lips. He was still buried deep inside you, hypersensitive to every little movement, every little touch, but he did his best not to squirm as you pressed kisses to his fingertips, paying extra attention to the fading cut on his thumb. The pain was long gone, now. Still, it made a few glistening tears trickle out delicately. You kissed them away, too.
“You’re still my favorite reflection.”
Shy, barely audible, but spoken with all the sincerity in the world. Butterflies erupted in your stomach. It was a start, at least. Maybe the parts of yourselves that you loved in each other, you could eventually come to love in yourselves.
“Can we—?”
“Stay like this?” you finished for him, a smile creeping up on your lips. “Yeah, we can.”
He bumped his forehead against yours, letting out an exhausted giggle, eyes crinkling and dimples flashing. He was glazed with sweat, skin sticky, damp curls pressed to his forehead, but he shone with every ray of light that slipped through your blinds.
The urge to check on him, to fuss over him, to care for him, still nagged at your mind. That was something that would never change. You wanted to clean him up, wash away the soreness and soothe the marks all over his body. But he didn’t need any of that right now. He just needed you. That was it. From day one, it had been as simple as that. You didn’t need to do anything. You didn’t need to prove anything. You just needed each other. Maybe, you could stay wrapped up in the mess you’d left on each other’s bodies for a while—bask in it, even. 
Chan’s innocent nuzzles inevitably led to another kiss. Soft, but just as hungry for you, just as desperate to stay immersed in this moment. You shifted slightly on his lap, making your heart jump and making him jolt against you. The poorly concealed sound that built up in his throat might’ve made you giggle if you didn’t need him just as much. No more limits. No more restraint. You didn’t have to worry about taking him in moderation.
You wanted each other endlessly. You fell into each other again and again.
。⋆。˚ ʚïɞ ˚。⋆。⋆。˚ ʚïɞ ˚。⋆。⋆。˚ ʚïɞ ˚。⋆。
A sudden buzz against your nightstand cut through the tranquil rhythm of breath that filled your bedroom, pulling you from the haze of sleep that had been pricking at your mind’s edges. It was a brief, low vibration, but still loud enough for you to worry that it may wake the boy in your arms. For once, you allowed yourself to be unavailable, not daring to disturb his peace for even a moment to roll over and read the notification. You already had a good idea of who it might be, anyway: Changbin, triple checking what time you’d all be meeting up for jjajangmyeon on Friday. The thought alone made fondness bubble up inside you, lips curling into a private smile. After four years of tardiness, absences, and missed deadlines, this was the one thing he was determined to be on time for.
Graduation was two days away. You and Changbin’s class ceremony would take place in the early morning, while Chan’s was scheduled for later that same night. Timed seamlessly with the rise of the sun and the moon. The finish line that you’d been terrified of for so long was a mere few steps away, but when viewed up close, it wasn’t quite so daunting anymore. Even if the path you walked next was still unfamiliar, uncarved by anyone before you to clear the way, you knew who you’d be walking it with, and you knew where it would lead you. You’d walk side by side with Chan, towards something better.
His family had flown in from Australia earlier in the week to visit, to attend his ceremony—to celebrate him. An occasion that was just as precious to them even with the bitter memories that surrounded it, even in its delay, even if Chan had spent the past two years convincing himself otherwise. He’d been a nervous wreck before leaving to meet with them when they first arrived, you could see it in every awkward shift of his feet, every subconscious rub of his neck, every unnecessary adjustment of his clothes. However much you’d tried to comfort him beforehand, however many grateful smiles he’d given you, you’d known that there was no real way to ease his apprehension. He hadn’t seen them in person for over a year, and, even prior to that, it’d been two years since he’d had an interaction with them that wasn’t engulfed in shame.
But when he’d returned, he had a smile that almost reached his eyes; hopeful. It hadn’t been perfect, everything wasn’t okay yet, but the seed had at least been planted for it to blossom one day. He’d missed them so much. It made your heart sing and ache at the same time. You only wished that he’d believed he deserved to see them before now—to stand in front of them as the son and brother that they loved, not as the collection of faults and disappointments he saw himself as. 
Though, you supposed you weren’t exactly one to talk. Your family would be coming into the city on the day of your ceremony as well, a very blatant reminder that you had yet to visit your hometown again like you’d promised them over the summer.
You weren’t quite ready to return yet. But just like Chan, you would be, one day. And you would try again. Of all the things you’d come to learn in your time with him, the value of upholding a promise was undoubtedly the most important one. You weren’t going to run. You would try as many times as it took until your home felt like home again, until you remembered all the good times, until the memories laced in every crack and crevice didn’t add to the sting in your skin, but eased it. 
You eyed Chan’s form through the darkness, nestled against you with his head buried in the softness of your chest—sound asleep, for once. 
Your arm was still draped over his waist, lingering at the small of his back where you’d been rubbing as he drifted off. In turn, his muscular arm was wrapped securely around you. Holding each other, protecting each other. An endless cycle of drawing strength from one another without growing any weaker in the process. You could give him everything, and not lose a single drop of yourself.
For the first time, you could hold someone in your arms without that underlying sense of dread spreading its roots in your mind. For the first time, your heart was still. A calm and clear surface of a lake, one that you hoped could reflect Chan’s light in its truest, most unbroken form.
You were no longer held together by a butterfly bandage, an ill-fitted adhesive, forcibly closing your wounds without giving them the chance to heal properly. At last, you were stitched up. Stitched up by the very same thread of fate that had brought you and Chan together. 
You didn’t have to ask to know that he felt the same. You could feel his emotions like they were your own, after all.
#OK STARTING NOW#no stop :(((( she thinks changbin will hate her this hurts#friendship breakups hurt a lot#the olive brach description is so clever HOW DO U THINK OF THIS MY GOD i aspire to write as well as you#the common ground being caring for Chan :(( that's so cute#EXACTLY minho just wanted to help but the way he went about it was so wrong#he isn't the reason behind the breakup but he might have been the drop that overflowed the cup#STOP CHAN CRYING BECAUSE HE WAS HAPPY I WANNA CRY MY BABY MY BABY#SKJDJDJDBDBDB SOFT AT HEART my minho he had good intentions and the fact he admits it#i love how u included this bit because it reminds us of how important it is to admit it when u are in the wrong#Omfg YOU DID NOT#THE WEIRD SENSATION IN HER THUMB BECAUSE HE CUT HIS THUMB I WILL CRY THEY ARE SOULMATES#THE LITTLE DETAIL U ARE INSANE FOR THIS I LOVE YOU#THE LOVE CONFESSION#them matching each other znd opening up my godddd#the hand flexing IS SO DKDNDNDBJBDJDDBJD#“guess I've got no choice but to mirror you” MY GODDD STOP THIS MY HEART HURTS#“five fingers five for each one you've spent apart” HOW DO U FIND BEAUTY IN SUCH MUNDANE THINGS SUCH AS THE NUMBER OF OUR FINGERS#i love this sm#also I'm scared of what my girl will say#me qnd chan are going to beat up her ex idc#her opening up makes me wanna cry#she's so strong BOTH OF THEM MY BABIES#HE DIDN'T LEAVE 😭😭😭😭😭😭😭#such beautiful writing btw please write a book PLEASEEEE#“you've been through so much to become this strong” OKAY I FEEL ATTACKED#but oh my god what a beautifully heart wrenching sentence#no one wants to become strong until they are forced to by the hands of the people they once loved#them being warm again :(((( the little details and juxtapositions you write are just amazing#it makes the story feel much more real and human
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chuluoyi · 8 months ago
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✎ mission: baby steps !
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- gojo satoru x reader
the three times gojo tried to make his baby love him (and how he miserably fails)
genre: full crack, dad!gojo being a sore loser, your baby being mean (he only wants peace, really), and obviously, fluff !!
note: a little thing for father's day ehe <3 i know i said i'll work on smut in the polls next but uhhh, this comes first ok?! :') i just love the idea of gojo vs baby don't mind me *sobs* and all the scenario here come from the tiktok/reels you've sent me!
a part of gojo's love entries
general masterlist
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There are many things that come with being a jujutsu sorcerer, and when you are Gojo Satoru, those things seem to be multiplying like bunnies.
This essentially means less time with his wife and baby. Look, he could finish missions fast, but when sent to other cities, even he couldn't abuse his teleportation powers all the time to return to Tokyo.
And so, as much as he hated it, he couldn't fault his baby boy for forgetting him.
"Look, it's papa," you rocked your son with a smile, consoling him as he wailed right after Satoru held him. "Don't cry, don't cry! Papa just got back from a long mission, he's not scary!"
"Is he scared of me?" Ouch. The thought prickled him. It somehow felt sourer than seeing Principal Gakuganji's face.
You hummed, seemingly (or comically?) deep in thought. "Hmm, in baby's point of view: a big, bad man suddenly picks him up, of course he's scared."
"I'm not a bad man!"
Okay, he wasn't having this. Satoru adored his baby to bits and he would want him to at least know it. It's settled then—he would be taking paid leave just to spend some time with his baby.
This would be his mission for the next three days!
DAY ONE
The day started off great. Baby Gojo was relatively calm, a bit fussy here and there but Satoru could definitely handle him.
"Look, a plane is coming!" he said playfully, moving the spoon in the air to attract his baby's attention. "Open your mouth wide!"
Baby blinked at him with the straightest face ever. His two blue orbs were the very same as his father, and yet they held disinterest so great that it was a wonder Satoru didn't notice.
He then playfully smooched baby's face, but he scrunched up, cringing in response.
And later, another achievement unlocked: Satoru successfully got his son to sleep for his afternoon nap!
"You're so cute, sigh." Satoru poked his baby's cheek lightly. "You look like me, but when you sleep, you totally look like your mama..."
He might not say it out loud, but one of his favorite sights lately was seeing you sleep next to your son. Both of you looked so precious and vulnerable, so alike, and it made him warm.
And whenever he looked at this little creation between you and him, he also got the urge to poke him so bad.
So he did. Only this time, he poked him a little too hard.
And how wrong that move was.
His son immediately cracked his eyes open, his lips quivered, and then his whole face scrunched up, followed by—
"WAAA!"
"Oof! Wait— I'm sorry!"
Long story short, he refused to be held in Satoru's arms, so you took over and your husband could only watch you with dissatisfaction.
"Won't you let me hold you?" he asked despondently, pulling up a pitiful face and batting his eyelashes. "I have the warmest hugs! Mama can vouch for that!"
"Satoru, he doesn't want you."
DAY ONE RESULT : FAILED
DAY TWO
Okay, his baby would love him today. Satoru was sure of it.
He had ordered this baby ride-on toy via home shopping and not only that, he would play with him!
"Here we goo~! Honk! Honk!" Satoru steered the little vehicle with his son at the backseat, hyping him up and even made a weird sound that was supposed to resemble a... train?
You watched them both, giggling. Your husband looked positively ridiculous as he was too big for the small vehicle, but still persisted in entertaining your clueless baby behind him. "Oh my, Satoru, you're trying way too hard."
"I have to!" he retorted, sending pout and a glare at the same time. "You can't hog him all the time, he's my son too!"
"Well, good luck~ as it happens, your spawn isn't easy to impress."
"Just so you wait—!" Satoru begrudgingly shot you a look, eaten up by your taunts, not noticing the wall in front of him. "By the end of today, he'll— whoaaa!"
He was about to crash into the said wall, and you were prepared to jump to save your baby first. But then, Satoru did the next best thing to stop it—jumping out of the ride-on, rolling onto the floor... and crashing into the bookshelf that some of the things fell. "Ow!"
"Are you okay!?" you immediately picked up your baby before checking him over. However, Satoru's eyes were transfixed on your shared munchkin.
"Meh heh~"
And you too when you heard it— your baby was wiggling, all smiles, seemingly amused by the sight of his papa lying there pitifully. Satoru was aghast.
"Y-you have no filial piety!"
DAY TWO RESULT : FAILED
DAY THREE
Today, Satoru had gotten inside the playpen and brought a bunch of toys, planning to entertain his son with all of them.
"C'mon, don't throw that!" he pursed his lips when his kid flung the lego away. "Don't you want to play together with me?"
No. As if saying that, the baby crawled away from him. He seemed to have a target in mind though.
"Oi, what are you doing?" Satoru was puzzled, but he was in for a surprise when the child rose slowly.
"Oh, you're pushing yourself up..." he stated, observing how the baby, still wobbly, clutched on the edge of his playpen for support.
A huge grin spread across his face then. "Aww, look at you!" he gushed with pride. "You can stand already! Ooh!"
And suddenly, the sight tugged at his heartstrings. This was the first time he had ever witnessed such a milestone. He wasn't here when he first started teething or crawling, and now that he was here when his son was standing... he wanted to see more of this.
"Now, can you take a step?" Satoru moved closer to him, and the kid turned to him with those clear blue eyes and a little frown, seemingly unsure. "Go! Go! Come to me!"
He didn't think he would actually try to walk. But he did as baby let go of the support, alas suddenly he slipped—
And fell flat on his face.
"—! Are you hurt?!" Satoru immediately plucked him off the floor, horrified, and pulled him close when the baby started to sniffle. Soon, he began to wail inconsolably.
"Oh no, I'm sorry, I'm sorry—!" he didn't even know why he was apologizing, but seeing his baby so frightened made his chest tighten. "Stop crying, oh wait—let's find mama!"
You were engrossed in your evening TV series when Satoru came barging to the living room with your poor son while being hysterical. "Help him!"
"What happened?!"
"He fell! He fell!"
Of course, your main concern was to comfort your baby, and so you reached out to take him from your husband's arms, only that...
"Huh...?" even Satoru was stunned when his son clutched onto his shirt, continuing to cry but refusing to let go, burying his little face into him.
Suddenly, he felt warm, he felt needed, and most of all, his desire to protect him was so overwhelming that he couldn't help but squeeze him closer.
You looked between the father and son, feeling giddy at the sight.
"He wants you," you finally smiled, patting baby's back. Satoru glanced between you and his precious pumpkin, seemingly taken aback as he blinked several times. When the fact sank in, he felt like a mush and pressed a kiss on his head.
The clown was convinced that his kid hates him and you are the savior. So, the fact that this little innocent being wanted him to comfort him... it made his heart flutter.
"Sorry, kid," he sighed into him, smushing his face to his little one's. "Don't cry, yeah? You're making me sad too."
"Satoru... are you getting glassy-eyed?"
"...am not!"
DAY THREE RESULT : DUBIOUS OUTCOME
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"He's asleep..." you placed your baby between you and Satoru on the bed later that night, he was now so peaceful, out like a light.
Satoru turned to face you and the baby, looking at both of you with a yawn, but a soft smile lit his face when he saw how you pecked his son's cheek lightly.
These three days made him almost forget that curses still existed out there. Spending time with his son blurred that fine line between reality and a perfect daydream.
"He is still so little, but he screams so loud," he mused, poking the baby's cheek gently. You swatted his hand away, worried he might poke too hard again.
"You keep teasing him, that's why."
"—? He keeps playing me, is why!"
You two burst into quiet giggles then, and you couldn't help but reminiscing about the journey from when you first found out you were expecting, through the first ultrasound, and all the way to delivering your son.
And it seemed like Satoru had an inkling of what you were thinking when he suddenly blurted:
"Thank you, for everything you do," he whispered then, his eyes crinkled so softly at you.
You playfully huffed to hide your misty eyes, and in that moment, Satoru knew, that you too were glad for this life you two shared.
. . .
And that, in and of itself, was enough for him to thank all the stars for bringing him to meet you in that most beautiful spring of 2006.
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Epilogue
It was morning, and baby was awoken by... sounds.
He looked to the side to find his mama there— your hand on his tummy to prevent him from rolling.
And then he turned to the other side to find his papa... who is perfectly still, but emanating this low sounds with each breath he took.
The longer he heard it, the more irritated your munchkin felt. So he rose, put his fists together, and came down on him—
Whack!
"—?!" Satoru groaned when something hit his face, and he opened his eyes only to see his son readying his punch again—
"W-why are you hitting me!" he was mortified. "H-help! Sweets, wake up! He’ll murder me!”
OVERALL MISSION RESULT : FAILED
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jaxon-exe · 7 months ago
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Is this?? My child????
Dp x dc prompt
So I’ve seen, and even made, plenty of prompts where Jason is a baby ghost but like… what if it was the other way around??
Jason (having been dead and revived for a good several years) has a fully adult ghost core. It’s a little misshapen and malnourished so he can’t turn into a ghost but it’s there. He’s basically a halfa that’s a bit more on the living side.
Danny on the other hand, having only died a year ago at most, has a baby core. Young child at most. Unfortunately bc of his living side other ghost have a hard time recognising how young his core is. Like they can feel that his core is a bit weird for an adult ghost but just assume that it’s bc he’s a halfa and so treat him like an adult, making him fully unaware that he is actually a child.
Anyway, one day something happens that causes these two to meet and immediately, for reasons he can not explain, Jason is convinced this whole ass teenager in front of him is actually a baby and is now his child.
Basically Jason’s core (with his obsession to protect children) is able to tell that Danny is a baby and doesn’t hesitate to just go- MY CHILD NOW
But bc Jason isn’t really in tune with his core and doesn’t even know he has one, has no fucking idea why he had the sudden desire to look after this child. Leading him to flip between “why am I doing this????” To “awww cute baby I got u it’s ok” to “if anything happens to Danny I will kill everyone in this room and then myself” than back to “why am I so attached to this kid??? Wtf???”
Danny meanwhile is aware of ghost cores, understands that his core likes this other guy but doesn’t know he had a baby core and is accidentally setting all of red hoods parental instincts into overdrive every time he so much as breaths in his detection.
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revelboo · 3 months ago
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The speed in which you crank out fics is concerning. Like, I appreciate it WHOLLY, but are you good? R u ok?
Rest is overrated, I run on stress and coffee. Yes, I’m good. I can write short form like this pretty quickly if I’m not at work or busy.
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Humans Are Weird/Cute Headcanons
Humans elicit one of two reactions in Cybertronians. It’s not like they haven’t seen organic life before, but the fact that we look vaguely like most Cybertronians in form? Our faces, our body shapes, two legs and two arms just like them? It either creates an unconscious association that we look like tiny, organic Cybertronians or that the similarities are just unsettling. Compounding it is the way we move, the gestures we use that are so eerily like their own. To make it worse, we’re just so helpless compared to them. Fragile. There’s a tendency to react to us like we would a newborn kitten. And for that protectiveness to eventually slide into possessiveness.
TFP Knockout
• Primus. The first time he saw you in full racing leathers, boots, gloves, and that helmet, he just stopped short in surprise. Thinks of the rare times he’d seen minicons and how you look like one instead of just another squishy, little human. And while he’d initially just been invested in figuring out how an inferior, little human beat him in a race, it doesn’t take long for him to start looking forward to those almost nightly meetings. It becomes less about winning and more about the bull session between you two after. Enjoying when you stand up to him, argue with him, even though you must realize he could hurt you so easily if he wanted to.
IDW Bumblebee
• It’s honestly such a pleasant surprise how tactile humans are. You seem to have no sense of personal space and he loves it, because it’s less lonely when you’re near. You don’t mind being picked up and carried, your little frame so warm in his hands or cradled against him. Always so curious, your little hands exploring his servos, while you smile to yourself. Then holding out your own hands so he can carefully manipulate them with a single servo. It’s like a game between you, showing off your little, blunt teeth so he will bare his denta for you as you sit on his thigh.
IDW Bluestreak
• Knows he can be a bit annoying to some bots, but you never seem bothered by his chatter. Actually asking him questions, interacting and it means so much to him when you stretch out against him, laying a cheek on him to listen to the sound of his voice rumbling through you. Liking it when he talks, wanting to be near him. The big surprise, though? How protective you are of him, not even thinking twice about throwing a shoe at Sunny for making a rude comment aimed at him, your little face red as you snarl at the much bigger bot, who’s too shocked at the outburst to respond.
IDW Starscream
• Having so little to call his own, he’s extremely possessive of you. It doesn’t hurt that you’re always happy to see him, greeting him when he returns from patrol, fussing over his injuries like you’re trying to take care of him. No conniving or plotting in you and no ulterior motives for seeking out his company. Aside from leeching body heat, and he hardly minds that, enjoys the feel of you sprawled against him, the peaceful silence.
TFP Soundwave
• Even though he initially took you because of the effect your strange organic thoughts have on him to try and understand why he can’t shut you out, it’s impossible to stay impartial. Every day he tries to inoculate himself against your thoughts, strengthening that connection through touch. And when you start reaching for him in return it’s a surprise. Eventually you sing for him not because he asked you to in an effort to distract you and focus your thoughts on something so they’re less painful to him, but because you want to. Because you think it makes him happy and it does.
ES Megatron
• He’d never paid much attention to humans until he’d met Dorothy, he’d fought alongside her and suddenly humanity wasn’t just something vaguely annoying getting in his way, under ped. It’s harder to not care after getting to know humans. Harder to not be overprotective about you after making it his mission to look after you. And maybe he’s a bit overzealous about it, because you’re not Dorothy. She can stand on her own and take care of herself, but you? You need him.
IDW Optimus
• He’s so used to being bigger than most Autobots. Of being looked up to, but you’re even tinier than they are. Small enough to carry in one hand even though he’s awkward about asking you to let him carry you at first. But after the spark twisting anxiety of watching you walking where bigger Cybertronians are walking? Seeing it not even occur to you that you might get stepped on? He insists on carrying you for your own safety, though, truth be told, he enjoys the feel of you in his servos, that little bemused smile you aim at him.
IDW Thundercracker
• He feels guilty sometimes about taking you, but it’s for the best even if you’re upset now. He’s seen enough movies to know how to coax you, win you over. He became obsessed with human love stories, the drama and romance. And he wants that for himself. Needs it. So he tries different tactics, little gifts and acts meant to convince you to love him. It’s so easy in the movies.
TFP Megatron
• The game you two play has become something of a guilty pleasure of his. Watching you pretend. Pushing you to see how far you’ll allow before you snap at him. Pretending you aren’t scared of him, though he’s seen the fear in your eyes once or twice and while it had amused him at first, he prefers you snarling back at him, all attitude. Your fear twists unpleasantly through him, but that angry defiance? So lovely.
IDW Soundwave
• He never meant to get so attached to you after he’d found you in Starscream’s quarters that day. You’re just so small and you’d looked at him in fear, your wild emotions almost crippling him since he couldn’t shut it out. Even after you calmed, days later, he finds himself reaching out a thought. Finding you and monitoring you from a distance. Again and again until he’d finally had to check on you in person again. After all, what did Starscream really know about caring for anyone, let alone a human. And that hesitant, little smile had warmed him when you’d looked up at him.
IDW Jazz
• The fact that you can see through his lies and will call him out on it? It’s a surprise and a relief. Letting down his defenses, letting you in takes time. He’s worn that smiling, carefree mask for so long. But he slowly lets it fall away when it’s just the two of you, feeling the absence of that weight he’d carried for so long. Getting to know who he is under the facade.
IDW Prowl
• Has to protect you since you don’t seem to understand just how small and delicate you are. Standing up to him and any other bot with zero fear. Something about that reckless anger calls to him. Around the other Autobots, he has to be the one in control, the one with a plan no matter what. Never allowed to falter or hesitate. You spark his own temper, making it easier to drop the act. Be frustrated or angry when it’s just you two. Be real.
Next
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bywons · 7 months ago
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𖥔ׅ YOU CAN BE THE BOSS — PSH
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𝖮𝖱 𝖶𝖧𝖤𝖭 𝗒𝗈𝗎𝗋 𝖻𝗈𝗌𝗌 𝖿𝗂𝗇𝖽𝗌 𝗒𝗈𝗎𝗋 𝖼𝗎𝗍𝖾 𝗌𝖾𝖼𝗋𝖾𝗍, 𝗏𝖾𝗋𝗒 𝖼𝗎𝗍𝖾
𝖲𝖧𝖮𝖶𝓉𝖨𝖬𝖤 ⋆ 𝖼𝖾𝗈!𝗉𝖺𝗋𝗄 𝗌𝗎𝗇𝗀𝗁𝗈𝗈𝗇 𝗑 𝖿!𝗋𝖾𝖺𝖽𝖾𝗋 𖥔 𝖿𝗅𝗎𝖿𝖿 𝒾𝖭𝖢𝖫𝖴𝖣𝖨𝖭𝖦 𝗌𝗄𝗂𝗇𝗌𝗁𝗂𝗉, 𝗉𝗋𝗈𝖿𝖺𝗇𝗂𝗍𝗒?, 𝗅𝗈𝗍𝗌 𝗈𝖿 𝗄𝗂𝗌𝗌𝗂𝗇𝗀 1399 wc ( CATALOGUE。)
૮ ♡◞ ◟ ა ⠀PLS REBLOG !! 4 my princess @atrirose i locee u vv much TT
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“you were supposed to send me that report a week ago.”
here comes the insufferable perfectionist, with an annoying handsome face which makes it just impossible to hate him for too long. he pushes the glass so it settles still on the top of his nose bridge, eyebrows jotted together to hint a slight disappointment in you. you want to mock him, make faces and scream at him, “leave me alone, idiot!”, but then you visualise your resignation. what an asshole of a boss.
you lift your head up to meet his eyes, hands buried in the pockets of black trousers, leaning tall over your work cubicle. “i uhm- i was, i was sick. high fever,” oh gosh, you hope he doesn't catch the shakiness in your voice.
“high fever?” park sunghoon raises an eyebrow, skepticism etched on his face. “convenient timing, don't you think?”
your heart races, and you mentally kick yourself for not thinking of a better excuse. “it came on suddenly,” you stammer, hoping your blush isn’t too obvious. “but i'm feeling better now, so i'll get right on that report.”
and just as you're about to type away on your laptop, a soft but firm grip on your wrist stops you from doing so. and of course, it has to be park sunghoon, the sole trouble maker in your life.
“actually, come meet me at my office,” he says, before letting off your wrist and striding off to his office.
ugh, there you go, another hour long lecture again.
shortly after, you make it to his office. you glance back, all your colleagues getting ready to end their shift and head home. fuck you, park sunghoon, you evil man.
“sir, can i—”
“come in,” sunghoon's serious invites you in, and you close the translucent glass door behind you, which does a pretty good job of reflecting the inner furniture and heads in a blurry, but certain way. “don't just look around, take a seat.”
sunghoon doesn't lift his head up even for a second after you enter the room, he simply gestures you to sit down before him, as he types something on his own laptop, the coffee forgotten and cold beside it. you tap your heels slightly against the office floor, it's been a whole fifteen minutes inside this room already, a minute more and you might just combust.
it's hard to stare at his face. not in a boring, ‘he's so rude’ way, but more of in a breathtaking, ‘i want to kiss him’ way. to be honest, you've imagined how his lips would feel against yours, whether they would move in sync and sweep you by your feet, or steal your breath and make you fantasise. would he like the kiss? would park sunghoon ever kiss you? does he want to kiss you, like you do right now? his ever concentrated face directed towards the laptop screen, the little creases that form around his eyebrows makes him look so cute. you'd like to think that it's just a harmless crush on your grumpy boss, and nothing more than that.
but time's passing by fast, and you need to get home. the taps of your heels against the floor fastens as you say in a tone of urgency.
“mr. park, is this about—”
“call me sunghoon,” he startled you, closing his laptop, “we're of the same age, so it's weird.”
“ok, sunghoon,” you gulp, gosh it feels weird, “is this about me not submitting my leave application?”
“no? it's just a .. friendly talk with my secretary.”
“oh?” what is this bastard planning on again, “well, what is it?”
“how sick were you? i mean, your temperature,” at this point you could throw yourself out of the window. shit, he's kinda smirking, does he really know you weren't sick? that it's all a lie? that you were faking it to avoid a deadline that had you pulling your hair out and attend the corporate party instead? in your defence, that party was much needed by you after a week long of hectic paperwork.
“like about…a 102—”
“i guess people with a 102F fever don't go to parties?” crap. you know that smirk, that ‘i-caught-you-bastard’ smirk. was he at that party too? shit, no way— “i was there too.”
sunghoon sets aside his laptop and leans in against the work desk, folded hands beneath his chin and another ‘know it all’ smirk shoots at you. you gulp, did he listen to you and minji talking too? oh no, no, no, no. you don't want to be fired.
“you annoying bastard,” it was intended to be a low whisper, but under the pressure of your enraging boss's stare, it came out louder than you intended.
“annoying bastard? i think that suits me?”
“no, mr park i didn't mean—”
“no no it's okay, i get that, a lot,” and now he gets up from his seat, circling around his desk to stand just in front of you.
“but i don't get ‘he's cute’ a lot.”
shit.
“i don't get ‘i like him’,‘he's so handsome’,‘he's so gorgeous’ a lot,” you were too mesmerised by his walks and the glints of his eyes to realise he's too close now, hands on either sides of the arm rest in your chair, blocking you in, “i don't get… ‘i wish i could kiss him’ a lot.”
shit, is he smiling or smirking? you can't really say when his face is inches above yours, babbling nothing but the truth. you had in fact shared your little desires about your boss to your best friend, minji, in the party. if only you knew he would be there, you would've bolted out of that place.
this current situation is really getting to you. you're trapped in a damn chair, you don't dare to move as his face only comes closer. a sudden wave of deja vu hits you; no, you've never been trapped in a chair like this by your boss before. but this intimacy, this fluttering proximity reminds you of those playful staring contest between you and him across the office, stumbling over paperwork and crashing against sunghoons chest, and now, this. you could feel heat rushing to your cheeks, as slowly his face transcends down further, now right beside your ear, his lips softly brushing the earlobe.
“no, i-i mean the other park sunghoon, you k-know?”
“hmm? but there's only one park sunghoon in the hype building whom i know of.”
“no you're getting me—”
park sunghoon doesn't let you finish your sentence, he thinks you're too cute to not kiss right now, so he does just that.
a small kiss, a look of admiration and fush in his eyes, then another, and another, and this one holds for a moment.
and the kiss is just as you imagined, soft, sensual, in sync with your rapid heartbeats as the distance slowly begins to disappear, his hands closing in around your cheeks to cup them.
he pulls back, breathing heavy with that smug smirk of his, “was it … cute? or gorgeous?”
“i think i want to kiss you once more,” you whisper. a twitching smile, shy eyes looking up at him and he smiles back, you feel yourself blushing again.
“of course,” sunghoon chuckles, now lifting you up from the chair and sitting down on it himself. placing you on his lap, he leans in for a sweet kiss, once more. it's just as soft and breathtaking as before, this time, you melt even more as you hook your hands around his neck and blush furiously into the kiss.
sitting on your boss’s lap to share a passionate kiss was definitely not in your bingo list this year.
his kisses travel down from your lips, becoming more feathery and ticklish as they reach your cheeks, jaw and finally the crook of your neck.
“i think i find you quite gorgeous too,” he holds you by your waist.
“you think?”
“nah, i'm sure”
“would then be uhm, like to be personal secretary?” he smirks, caressing your cheeks.
“and what do i get in return?” you chuckle
“anything you want,” he reassures, softly gliding a hand behind your back. your eyes surge around the office room for a potential gift, and then they land on the big bold ‘CEO PARK SUNGHOON’ engraved on the metal plate, and then you look back at him, “anything?”
“oh? mrs. ceo?” he smirks again, looking at the plate and then back at you. “of course, you can be the boss,”
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a/n — yayaya comeback fic how r u guys, missed ya smsmsm ^0^ pleek lmk what u think of this !!! personally, my skills r cooked TT CLICK ME
© bywons, 2024. do not copy, translate or upload any of my works without my permission
📌 :: PERM TAGLIST IS OPEN ( the tags are rebloged ! ) nets. @/k-labels
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kaissatou · 18 days ago
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hi. I like ur writing. bye.
ok, i never realized from your blog if you only write nsfw or not, soo….. if u do. PARDON ME PLEASE.
can u please write something like headcanons namgyu as your boyfriend. and if you want, you can add some smut. (sorry if it's spelled weird, i'm like, not a native english speaker lmao)
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boyfriend!namgyu headcannons ♡
hi lovely thank u for the request! your spelling is great ♡ ˙˚ʚ(´◡`)ɞ˚˙
boyfriend!namgyu who is pure stoner bf energy :3 namgyu who comes home, eyes all red and puffy, and overly clingy. placing his hands on your shoulders and grinning hazily while never breaking eye contact with you.
boyfriend!namgyu who will smoke you out, convincing you that it will work much quicker if you shotgun the smoke from his lips (it won’t.) he just wants to kiss you. boyfriend!namgyu who cradles your face so sweetly and so gently in his rough calloused hands.
boyfriend!namgyu who’s the silliest guy ever. people always presume him to be scary due to his hardened exterior, but really, he’s like your golden retriever. intensely loving and hyperactive. he owns a black cat, who is the antithesis of how he acts- quiet and sleepy, but he thinks it works quite well.
boyfriend!namgyu who always has to be touching you, wether it’s a hand lazily slung around your waist when someone stares just a little too hard, or an intertwined hand under the table, his fingers stroking up your arm.
we already know boyfriend!namgyu paws his sweater over his hands and it is soso cute to me, but also imagine namgyu who purposely buys bigger sweaters, not so he can coddle his hands in the soft material but so you can steal them and have you practically drown in the warmth.
boyfriend!namgyu who is so touchy when no one else is around. he can’t sleep without you, and will wake up if you even try to get up and out of his grasp. he’ll make a noise of disagreement, a sleepy whine almost, and tug your body back.
boyfriend!namgyu who overheats very quickly. he is like your own personal furnace, serving as a super satisfactory fix against the cold in the winter, and dread in the summer. boyfriend!namgyu who doesn’t let you pull away when you wake up a mess of intertwined, sweaty bodies, but instead just pulls you tighter to his chest, his (comforting) breathing like fire against your neck.
boyfriend!namgyu who has a constant sex drive, who is never fully satisfied. boyfriend!namgyu who ravishes your gooey pussy like it’s his last meal, and convinces himself (and you) that he could eat you like this for hours. you don’t doubt it.
he loves feeling up your pussy. if you’re watching a movie, boyfriend!namgyu will sneak a hand down the hem of your flimsy shorts, and massage the lips of your pretty pussy, sliding down your folds until you’re a dripping and whining mess.
he’ll then finger fuck you right there on the couch, whispering sweet nothings, a harsh contrast to the way his pounding and curling them inches deep inside of you, and it’s soso good and your cumming for him hard.
boyfriend!namgyu who’s cock hits all the right spots that have you mewling and shaking for him. if your body gets to curl away as he’s pounding you into next week, he won’t allow it. he’ll fold your legs up to your chest and hold you in the place, also allowing for easier access into your sickly sweet cavern.
boyfriend!namgyu who moans into the crook of your neck as he’s deep inside of you, pressing a hand down against the outline of his cock against your stomach hitting your cervix. the sight has him fumbling and his brain going hazy, dropping his body wait onto yours as he fucks you missionary.
and when he comes, you swear you’re seeing white. quite literally. he cums so much that your questioning how he’s not exhausted. (he is. he just lives to please you.)
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quarterlifekitty · 1 month ago
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Something, something, König picking up gaming in his free time, not uncommon for an older guy especially with a cute little thing who has a nice set up for gaming and he absolutely takes to it with flying colours. Kinda pissing you off how he’s gotten leagues better than you at one of your favourites in such a short amount of time. So when that skin you absolutely NEED drops you’re going insane grinding for it. It’s frustrating too because all the sweats have come out of the woodwork to grind for it too, leading to a lot of swearing and groaning on your end, coincidentally, König’s free time aligns and he’s more than happy to help you grind the tougher parts if you sit pretty on his lap and drain his pent cock.
What’s better than two stress relievers when he comes home from a high tension workplace environment?
(Bonus points if he’s your weird online long distance boyfriend who definitely told you an age younger than what’s on his ID and the place he comes home to is just your apartment that he decided was his too.)
Brother. The way this ask is in my mind. I would like to preface this by saying if you or a loved one is playing a video game with microtransactions and limited edition skin drops it’s not too late to get help. We can beat this together.
cw: he’s kind of a creep in this. Red flags abound. Somno/dubcon type stuff
Gonna make a couple of amendments to this one if that’s ok. 1) König is never going to be a god gamer because his hands are too fucking big and also I WANNA BE THE DOMINANT GAMER IN THE RELATIONSHIP. My ass is carrying HIM in apex. I don’t care that he knows how to shoot real guns. Don’t take this away from me
2) while he didn’t outright lie about his age, he did not say shit that would lead you to believe this man was over 40. He shared very few details about his personal life. Just that he was in the military, Austrian, and now? A gamer. Those are all the hallmarks of being a man in his 20s! Except the Austrian thing— that can happen to anyone.
I like to imagine he treats you like his discord kitten tho. You ask how old he is and he’s like “I’m an adult, if that’s what you’re worried about” or “old enough” or “don’t worry about it” and you say “okay 💖 yay 💖”
And he’s 100% your sugar daddy. Constantly buying you games just so you can co-op with him, gifting you in-game currency to spend on battle passes, absolutely ravaging your wishlist— steam, amazon, or otherwise.
He finds himself in your area for work and you tell him your address so he can meet up with you.
And you’re kind of a stupid femcel so when this dude shows up at your door, almost seven feet tall and wearing a surgical mask, scarred face with a healthy grey streak in his hair, it’s not setting off any alarm bells. There’s like at least 5 red flags here but you’re colorblind and inviting him in.
You didn’t realize that he was planning on staying with you while he was in the area. You also didn’t realize that the moment he found out he’d be stationed near you, he decided it was time to take your relationship to the next level.
Which is how you end up stretched out on his cock on the same day that you met in person for the first time, with him grunting in your ear about how he dreamed of this— thought of it every time he jerked off when you fell asleep during a discord call. He could tell just from your voice that you’d be pretty and soft and tight and perfect for him— and he was ready to settle down.
Good thing you didn’t really have any plans for the rest of your life, or you might find how fast he moves a little scary.
So it makes sense that you’re still a little shy. Too nervous to initiate things usually. So he just has to motivate you a little.
This skin’s an exclusive, can’t be earned with currency, and available as a drop for just 7 days. You can’t put in the hours to get it on your own, not to mention how tedious it is, and it can’t be bought. But it’s so cute.
So he makes the offer. He’ll spend his precious leave time helping you earn it if you keep his cock warm while he does it. He’d initially planned on using that time to rearrange your guts, so you’re gonna have to make it worth his while.
And maybe you exaggerate a little. You’re used to saying these things over calls— where nothing has any repercussions in the real world. Where you can promise anything from the safety of being on a screen a world away.
You tell him you’ll let him do whatever he wants to you if he can get that skin for you. After a moment you realize the implications of saying that to someone who can and will hold you down and make out with your cervix using the tip of his cock.
He borrows one of your elastics to tie back his hair.
He’s gonna get you that skin. And then he’s gonna get you pregnant.
You did say anything.
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teddybeartoji · 9 months ago
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toji is a cat dad. the cat looks so fucking tiny next to him that it's a little comical actually. they spend every morning together – the cat twirls around and between his legs as he's grabbing the food, quietly meowing and purring. toji smiles softly to himself at the little thing's neediness. so cute.
the cat also just loves to follow toji around the apartment. always. he goes to the bathroom? the cat goes to the bathroom. he's cooking in the kitchen? the cat is in the kitchen. he's asleep in the bed? the cat is in the bed. (big man toji stomping around the house with the smallest cat in the world running after him.......... guys i'm melting i'm dying)
ok but he was a little weirded out by the cat's need to be in the bathroom with him lmao. like he's taking a piss and he looks over his shoulder only to find the little kitten just staring up at him with big eyes😭😭😭 toji grumbles under his breath and tries to ignore him but then he ends up looking over his shoulder again, hoping that he left but no. he's still there. sitting like :3 😭😭😭😭
"yer fuckin' weird..." is what toji tells him as he places the cat on the bathroom counter and he just gets a cute meow back as a reply. the cat watches him brush his teeth and toji has to fight the thing because he's now in the sink????? toji needs to spit out the toothpaste but the critter is getting comfortable in the bowl and he actually feels bad abt pushing him away... wahh he's so soft actually guys i can't do this anymore.
if the cat happens to be a big meower, toji's definitely talking back to him. he literally goes "what're ya yappin' about, lil man? 🤨🤨" while looking at the tiny creature. but he loves it, he thinks it's so funny. he picks the little guy up and just stares at him up close O.O (plss the cat is literally like the size of his palm i'm dying it's so cute).
he also likes to carry the cat on his shoulder. i think every cat would actually love toji so much, this is also canon here you cannot argue with me. and i think they'd all find him very comforting? and i think they'd love to sleep on him. so whenever he's cooking and the cat paws at his legs, he just picks him up and places him on his shoulder.
he once did that when shiu was over and he was just ????????? like man what are you doing put the damn cat down ????????? and toji just went. "no. he wants to see." with a blank face. to him it's very obvious. c'mon, the cat is so little, he has no idea what's happening up here, ofc he wants to see??????? smh shiu do better😒😒😒
oh and this was definitely just a stray cat he took in btw. after a long day at work, he was just walking home with a cig between his lips when he heard the teeeniest tiniest little meow coming from behind the dumpster in an alley. and well... the curiosity got the best of him and he went to check it out aaand lo and behold!!!!!!! itty bitty kitty!!!!
big eyes peering up at him behind a thrash bag, he just knew he couldn't leave the poor thing there. he reached out his hand, letting the kitty smell him and he almost dropped his cig when he actually leaned into his touch immediately!!!! that's his baby now!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
he held the cat to his chest as he made his way home and he even stopped by a little corner store to buy him something to eat. the cashier did look at him with a raised brow bc what the fuck this massive man is holding the smallest cat in the world, but toji didn't mind. he didn't care. the cat slept on his back that very same night.
ALSO. thank u @kentophilia for putting this idea in my head ily<33 during the late hours of the day, toji lays in bed while reading his book with his glasses on – the cat stands on his chest with a determined face. he's already purring even though toji hasn't even done anything. he's just soo comforting and the cat just loves him soooo much okay:((((( toji lowers his book to look at the thing before scratching the top of his head and smiling to himself when the cat closes his eyes and purrs even louder.
the cat ends up trying to make biscuits on him and that makes toji yelp lmao. the tiny little claws dig into his warm skin as the he kneads toji like he's a piece of dough. purring and content – toji doesn't have it in him to make him stop either. it's not like it actually hurts, he was just caught off-guard. he didn't get scared by a cat btw, he didn't. in the end, he keeps reading his book with his one hand while petting the creature with the other. this is their routine. they're family!!!!!!!
anyway. he loves his little kitty cat with all his heart and he would literally kill for him:33333
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seungfl0wer · 23 days ago
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*𝐵𝒶𝓇 𝐵𝑒𝒶𝓊𝓉𝓎*
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Pairing: Biker!Minho x Reader (Fem)
Genre: Smut
Warnings: Mentions of cheating, Oral (M), Outdoors Sex, Unprotected, Pull out game (wow not a Creampie? What is this?) think that’s it. Sorry for any mistakes or missing warnings
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-🖤
Minho was a regular at your bar, he always came in sitting away from everyone. He kept to himself however always flirted with you. It was cute, he was cute. However you were in a relationship.
“So gonna let me take you for a ride beautiful?” He’d ask.
“I don’t know, let me ask my boyfriend” you’d tease back.
This is how it always went, he never pressured you. Never did anything to make it feel weird. He was always respectful. Today when he came in he asked you like normal but when you responded he was taken back.
“So you ready for that ride today?” He’d said wiggling his eyebrows.
“I get off in 30” you said smiling but acting like you were cleaning the counter.
He looked at you puzzled for a second “wait really?” He asked.
“Yeah, unless you’re to chicken now since I said yes” you’d teased.
“What about your boyfriend?” He asked.
You pointed to a booth, a man who was tongue deep with a woman. “Looks like I don’t have one anymore” you shrugged.
His eyes went wide “I’ll kick his ass that little-“ he started as he got up.
“Don’t bother, he’s not even worth it. He’s dumb enough to come here. Out of all places” you laughed.
Minho was almost confused on how much you didn’t care. Maybe it was something that was coming for a long time. Or maybe it was the fact after seeing this you lost any feeling you had for him when you saw him cheating. Either way Minho wasn’t gonna waste the opportunity. Not when he’s found you attractive for so long.
He stayed at the bar like normal staring at you a little harder than he normally did. When your shift was up he handed you his helmet telling you he’d rather have you protected than him. When you walked out with him your ex got up realizing you were here today. “Y/n!” He yelled. He ran outside after the two of you as you got on the back of Minhos bike.
“What the hell are you doing!” He said walking towards you.
“Sorry I don’t date cheaters” you say with a wave as Minho revved his engine. You wrapped your arms around him giving him butterflies. Before you knew it he was speeding off. It felt freeing. You’d missed so many opportunities to do this and for what? A cheater?
You held onto Minho tightly as he tuned to pull off into a gas station. He tapped your head to take off the helmet. “I gotta give you a little run down real quick.” When you nodded he continued. “So turns you gotta move your body with mine ok? Gotta move the weight with the bike. You can hold onto the small handles on the back too. Also if you keep squeezing me like that we are gonna have a problem” he said his tone teasing with that last part.
You blushed a bit but everything right now felt exciting. You were definitely gonna test the waters. When you got back in the road you let your hands slip lower. Letting them rest on thighs. You felt his body tense a bit before relaxing into your touch. You took it as a sign moving them up more until they were inches away from his crotch.
You couldn’t hear anything but he let out a sigh his cock growing harder by the minute. He saw a sign for a hiking trail turning onto the road knowing no one would be there at this time. When he pulled in you were a bit confused taking off your helmet to look at him. “You gonna murder me out here?” You joked.
“Oh totally, definitely didn’t pull off cause of someone’s hands.” He teased back.
“I don’t know what you’re talking about” you said innocently.
He turned your body on the bike making sure you wouldn’t fall. Putting the stand down before pulling your body to his. You could feel how hard he was against you. “I told you we’d have a problem didn’t I?” He said with a smirk.
He put his hand under your chin your faces inches away from one another’s. Neither of you moved for a few seconds before you broke the silence “you gonna kiss me or just keep staring” you said. The smirk that spread across his face was enough to make you wet. God was he ever so hot. He wrapped your legs around him as he kissed you deeply. His lips were as soft as they looked, they felt like little pillows. He tasted like the alcohol he was drinking with a hint of mint from his gum.
His hand came down to your waist as he grinned his cock into you. You let out a soft moan into the kiss letting his tongue slide in. He kissed you with such need before pulling away slightly “god I’ve wanted you for so long” he said almost desperately.
“I’ve actually had a- recurring dream of you” you admitted.
“Yeah? Tell me”
“You sat on your bike while use my mouth” you said a bit shyly.
He stared at you like you just said the hottest thing in the world to him “let’s make it a reality then” he said moving away from you to get into position. He slipped his pants down a small bit letting his painfully hard cock finally spring forward. Your mouth almost watered at the sight of him.
You inched yourself closer to him kissing the tip of his cock. Slowly licking it before taking him back your throat. His hands gripped at your head before pushing back as far as he could. “Gonna let me use this pretty mouth of yours?” He asked. You nodded looking up at him with soft eyes. Ugh how were you so fucking hot he thought to himself. He fucked your mouth slowly quickly getting lost in the feeling. “Fuck you’re taking me so well beautiful” he groaned. He was using your mouth like a flesh light. Fucking into it a little rougher now “fuck- fuck-“ he moaned pulling himself from you.
“Come here” he said positioning you on his bike. He had you bent over the seat. He slipped your pants down just enough. Before moving the tip of his cock up and down your now soaked folds. “All this for me?”
“Yes- all for you” you groaned.
He wasted no time before slowly pushing into you. His body almost trembled at the feeling of your warm walls sucking him in. He gripped at your thighs as he pushed into you fully cock hitting your most sensitive spots. “Y/n fuck- you- ah- feel so good” he moaned out.
You gripped at the bike as he pounded into you the sounds of sex and moans filing the woods that surrounded you. His hand left your hip coming around to play with your clit. He rubbed circles around it, it was like he knew your body already. “Beautiful I’m sorry- I’m not gonna last- ah- fuck-“ he moaned out.
“It’s ok- ah- I’m- I’m close too” you moaned back.
“Cum with me- please- shit I’m- I’m so close” he said his thrust becoming sloppier and sloppier.
His fingers found your weak spot moving over it making your body shake. “I’m- cumming!” You screamed your orgasm creeping up on you faster than expected. Your walls tightened as you came making him pull out cumming on the ground below him. “Fuck- fuck-“ he moaned.
He pulled your body to his holding you tightly against him. “Are you ok?” He asked breathily.
“Mhm. Just. A little cold” you said back.
With no hesitation he took off his leather jacket wrapping it around you. “How about we go back to my place? We can.. cuddle” he said with a shy smile.
“That sounds perfect”
After that day Minho came to pick you up from work every night. Finally making it official after a week. He even scared your ex away that tried showing up at the bar after you blocked him. You wished you did this way sooner but he was finally yours now and he wouldn’t let you go even if you wanted.
﹌﹌﹌﹌﹌﹌﹌﹌﹌﹌﹌﹌﹌﹌﹌﹌﹌﹌﹌﹌﹌﹌
💙 If you’d like to read more of my stuff you can find it Here: Master List . Thank you for reading and if requests are open or you just wanna talk feel free to send me something🩵
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Taglist: @satosugu4l @do-you-remember-summer-127 @xines16 @minh0scat @troublemaker02 @tr-mha-fan @lunearta @velvetmoonlght @minghaosimp @ldysmfrst @felixleftchickennugget
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sweet1delusi0ns · 8 months ago
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Playing with naruto boys hair ──☆*:・゚
Slightly suggestive (kankuro ofc)
Characters: Naruto🦊,sasuke🗡️,Itachi🥀, kakashi🍃, kiba🐺, shikamaru🀄️,shino🪲,neji🎋,Lee🥋,choji🍥,gaara⏳,kankuro🪆
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Naruto🦊-*
He loves attention so honesty he is down for anything. Weither your petting his head or braiding it he will always rub into your hand like a little puppy😭 he doesn’t beg for you to play with his hair but he never refuses the offer~
You were braiding his hair while he slowly fell asleep, thinking he was already asleep you started to talk to yourself “ ugh your so cute with your fluffy hair” you whisper “tsk, and you think it makes you look like a hedgehog, a cute hedgehog if anything~” then you can hear him giggle and turn a soft pink “oh my god your awake?!” “Hehehehe…yeahhh” “thanks y/n~”
Sasuke🗡️-*
He thinks he’s so tough and mostly it is but when he gets all soft with you late at night all he wants is to cuddle and for you to play with his hair. He just lays on your chest and when you don’t start playing with his hair he will clear his throat in a very dramatic way!
“AEhemHHHH” “…yes?” “Well? Arent you going to…?” “Huh?” “Play with my hair y/n!!!” “Ohhhhh! I knew that I just wanted to hear you say it~” “Y/N!” You giggle at his neediness 
Itachi🥀-*
Straight forward, to the point, just “play with my hair.” And that’s it. He can be very timid but most of the time he’s not ashamed to ask for things!
“Y/n? My darling?” “Yes?” He sits down infront of you “can you play with my hair?” You reach down and kiss his hair softly “of course!” And you drag your fingers through his soft hair you ask “anything else baby?” He whimpers softly at the head massage “I love you y/n…” you giggle “I love you too!”
Kakashi🍃-*
Every time you see his hair down it’s just an urge to go up to him a play with it, it looks so soft honestly! You never have before but one day after he takes a nice shower and walk out with his hair down and freshly dried you just had to ask!
“Why are You staring at me y/n? You think I’m that handsome?~” he teases “well you are handsome but I’m just looking at your hair” “ah why?” “It looks so soft!” “Oh!…want to touch it?” He walks over to you bowing his head in front of you while giving you cute puppy eyes. You reach for a strand of his hair and just as you thought it was soft as silk! “Oh my god what conditioner do you use babe?” He giggles while sitting down next to you, not moving his head away from your loving hand. You sat there playing with his hair for hours!
Kiba🐺-*
He always sees how excited akamaru gets when you pet him so he kinda wondered what if felt like, but he didn’t want to be weird so he didn’t know how to ask. So he didn’t ask!
“What’s up kibaa?” “Hey y/n!!” He lays down on your lap which he does often but this time he did something different “can I have your hand y/n?” “Of course puppy!” He grabs your hand and immediately places it on his head waiting for you to get the hint. “Uh? Heh what are you doing…OHHHHH you want me to play with your hairrr how cutee!!” “Shut up y/n!!! Gosh cant a guy get some pets without being teased.” You laugh at his response. But you gladly gave him all the pets he wanted! (Akamaru was jealous)
Shikamaru🀄️-*
Similar to kakashi, you rarely see his hair down so once you saw him relaxing in bed with his hair down you couldn’t resist
You crawl in bed with him which Suprisingly he didn’t realize, but once you started playing with the ends of his hair he opened his eyes to look at you “uh, what are you doing dear?” “Playing with your hair” “w-why?” “Because I Love You?” “Hm, Ok……can you brush it out while your at it? It’ll get frizzy and I’m to lazy to deal with it” “of course! But only if you don’t whine about it” “be gentle and I won’t whine!” He closes his eyes waiting to feel the brush softly dragging through his hair (for now on he always asks you to brush his hair)
Shino🪲-*
He doesn’t mind what you do to him as long as your happy! I feel like his hair gets frizzy in humidity and your happy to take care of it, kind of like shika. Except he asks you to help not because of the frizz he just secretly likes your hands on his hair
He walks up to you after a fresh shower and hands you a comb, detangle stray and a normal brush. You look up at him a little lost just to see his hair poofy and slightly curled “…do you want me to do your hair?” “Yes I don’t know how” (he does he just wants you to do it) “hm Finee, cmon sit in front of me” you took very nice care of his hair which he appreciated so much. Now most of the time when you play with his hair it just turns into you playing salon with him (LOL)
Neji🎋-*
I’ve said it before he loves it when you play with his hair but he will never ask. Normally he just sits next to you and play with his own hair until you do it for him. He thinks he’s so sneaky when he does it but in reality it’s so obvious he wants your attention
He’s currently braiding the ends of his hair which he never does so you knew what he wanted already “neji what are you doing sweetheart?” “Just braiding my hair” He looks up at you with a small smirk hoping you caught on “oh ok!…may I help?” “YES” “…” “uhm I mean…sure!” He’s not smooth at all but let’s just pretend he is- he just lays on his stomach and let’s you do whatever you want to his long hair. You can put it up in a bun or maybe a ponytail, whatever you pick he just likes the attention!
Lee🥋-*
He also LOVESSSS attention, love and care no matter what! He would just jump onto you and beg for you to pet him! Which you always do, especially after a long day he lovesss ittt
“Y/n-Chan! Please! I would do anything just for you to play with my hair!” You look at him for a while just to soak in his pouty lips and puppy dog eyes, but you took to long to respond so he took it as a no apparently. “PLEASE,PLEASE,PLEASE,PLEASE,PLE-” “YES LEE OK!!” “YAY!” He tucks his head into your hand so you could hold onto his face while playing with his hair, also so he can stare at your beautiful face with love in his eyes
Choji🍥-*
Now this boy has a lot of hair, it’s a like a blanket! So sometimes you just cling to his back and bury your head into his fluffy hair. Other than cuddling into his hair you also love playing with it. One time you put them into two pig tails and he looks ADORABLE! He didn’t take them out the whole day
“Your sooooo CUTEEE AHHH” He is currently twirling his hair which you put into a cute ponytail “ya think so y/n?” “Mhm!! But let’s try something elsee” you take the band holding his hair up out gently as to not put any hair out, then you dragged both hands from his scalp all the way down his hair which made him shiver. You grabbed two pieces of his hair from the front of his head to put them into two buns. After that you took a look at his cute face. “Oh my gosh you look like a cute little bear!” “Ha little?” “Yeah your just a silly little guy!” Which made him blush. He loves moments like this
Gaara⏳-*
He is very timid with any new form of physical affection so when you suggested playing with his hair he was a little shy but also confused, why does she want to touch my hair? Is it because it’s red? He didn’t understand but was willing
“I’m ok with you touching my hair I’m just wondering why?” You smile at his curiosity “it’ll feel good sweetheart, I’ll give you a nice head massage~” he likes massages so that comforted him a little. Once you made contact with his hair he felt a little less anxious. “Feel good?” His eyes softened while he turned drowsy “yes…thank you” he fell asleep not to far into the massage, but now you know any time he has trouble sleeping you could put him to sleep by playing with his hair
Kankuro🪆-*
I’ve said before he LOVES his hair, you rarely get to touch is. But he will let you touch it if you pull it play with it which he does like but never admits it
“Why would I let your touch my glorious hair!” “You let me pull it last night?” “SHUP UP?!” Teasing him is always fun so you get a laugh out of it, but you do really want to play with his hair “no serious let me play with it! I promise you’ll love ittt~” “Ughhhh fineeeee” he mumbled while he sits on his knees infront of you. Once you actually started playing with it He visibly relaxed “told you you’d love ittt” “I don’t love it! I just…yeah fine you win I love it”
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nepenthendline · 3 months ago
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a/n: todoroki feeling horny for the first time, no smut but can do a pt 2?
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Todoroki had been much clingier than usual today, like a cat somehow always slinking his was close to you. Most of your day was spent cuddling on his couch watching documentaries, and his grip on you was tight. Whenever you shuffled or got up to grab a drink or snack, you could see the little pout on his lips as he held his arms out to you and asked where you were going. He was so cute like this, but it was a little different than usual.
"You ok, baby?" You ask, cupping his cheeks in your hands once you settled back into his arms. He pondered for a moment,
'Yes, I think, but I feel a little...off,' his response was quiet, and his fingers continued to brush over your waist. Your head tilted slightly, looking over him for any obvious signs of pain or sickness,
"In what way?" His eyes looked off to the side - you could almost hear the cogs turning in his head as he tried to put his feelings into words.
"I feel... warmer than usual, my muscles feel tense, sometimes it feels like I'm struggling to breathe, and there's a...weird feeling in my stomach. Perhaps I'm getting sick," you let put an exaggerated pout as you combed your fingers through his hair before kissing his forehead - he did feel quite warm, but there was no fever.
"My poor baby," you stroked his cheeks in urge to comfort him, however, his face tensed under your touch, and he let out a hum.
"That..." he muttered, more to himself than to you. He brought one hand to his chin in thought, " I thought resting today with you would help my symptoms, but they seem to be getting worse," your brows furrowed at his words, but your urged him to continue. "Well, worse, but also better. The symptoms are stronger, but having you close makes me feel relieved in a way." You couldn't help but smile. Even whilst sick, he was still adorable. What he said next, however, surprised you.
"Feel like...I need you, even though you're already here. Feels like you're not close enough,' he murmured into his hand, still looking away.
Oh-OH. You started giggling in response - the two of you had been together for a few months, but you knew Shoto hadn't had any relationships before you. In fact, he often reminded you that you were the first person to ever make him feel the way he does.
His eyes darted back to you with confusion taking over his face. "Have you felt like this before?" You question with a grin. His eyes wavered, before nodding.
"Yes, although the symptoms weren't as strong as now. Like when you were cooking the other day in those cute pajamas, or on our date last week, and when you kiss me," he was clueless. He thought he was sick and yet every memory included you. Your giggles continued.
"Yeah? Well, I can tell you that you're not sick," his eyes widened slightly, nodding for you to continue, "you're horny, my love." He let out a quiet ah and sat in silence for a moment before speaking up.
"Like Mineta..." his deapan voice made you cackle, even though you knew he was trying to gauge his feelings by comparing them to something else. "Except, I only feel like this with you," your cheeks warmed at his words. He's always been a charmer, mostly by accident. He speaks what is on his mind so bluntly, and yet it never ceases to fluster you. You lean forward and press a soft kiss on his lips.
"I can make you feel better if you'd like?" His eyes burned into yours as he rested his forehead against yours. After a few moments, he spoke,
"Yes, please."
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youngheejay · 1 month ago
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Unusual fights lead to usual love
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Where lashing out at your sweet boyfriend wasn’t how you planned your evening but don’t worry - he’ll make it up to you because he can’t stand your tears.
Starring: Jay x fem!reader [established relationship]
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
You clicked on the contact of your boyfriend. The picture of his profile made you feel a little better before the annoyance and anger started to bubble inside you again.
Why does he have to be so cute?
It truly irked you.
Your eyes skimmed your chat with him. Or more like the messages you sent to him today.
[10:43 am]
< Good morningggg ☀️ >
< have a fun shooting today my love!! ❤️ >
[3:56 pm]
< I’m making dinner for us, so don’t eat with the boys after work ok? >
< feeling really shitty today but I wanted to make you something ❤️ >
< so that you’ll be energised to give me lots and lots of love and cuddles when you come home hihi >
< Need it so badly jjongie 🥺😞 >
[5:00 pm]
< come home safely >
< love you soooo much ❤️❤️ >
[7:34 pm]
< Babe? >
< Aren’t you coming home today early? You promised me you’d finish by 5 :( >
[10:01 pm]
< r u staying at the dorms again tonight? Pls lmk I’m worried. >
That’s the last message you sent to your boyfriend after deciding that you’re not worried anymore and that he can look out for himself.
You sighed - you even called him a few times and you were confused on what to feel.
Usually, when he had a shooting he could spare some time to contact you but today he didn’t.
Also lately, Jay had been acting strangely as his messages during work got less and less. He even started to sleep in his dorms because ‘it was easier for his manager to pick them up all together from the same place to go to work the next morning’.
Since you agreed with him it shouldn’t bother you but still, it made you feel weird that he would rather stay there than at his home with you. He didn’t know that you knew, but two of his fellow members were staying at their own home - that is what their respective girlfriends told you.
Maybe he found some- before you could even finish the thought you quickly shook your head.
Enough with these thoughts. Work had been hectic lately. And he probably forgot his promise to come early to your shared home.
But it was still weird he didn’t text or call you on a shooting day. Meetings or maybe practices you could understand - it could be difficult to find a moment to be on the phone. But it’s Jay - he would find a way for you. Usually.
Hmph.
I don’t care anymore. He’s so mean. Every man on this planet informs his woman except for mine. What an idiot.
That’s what you thought until you heard the familiar beeping of your digital door lock.
You hastily stood up from the couch, almost slipping out of your house shoes. Before Jay could push the door you already teared it open, startling your boyfriend in the process.
“Oh, hi. You still up?”
‘Oh, hi?’ - seriously ?! That’s the first thing he said after you were worried so much??
And that’s all it took for you to loose your mind.
„Why didn’t you tell me you’d be home so late?!“ you said with furrowed eyebrows. Irritation was shown all over your face.
Well, you didn’t actually mean to sound that harsh but you couldn’t help it!
Today just wasn’t a good day.
You weren’t feeling well the whole day. You had just gotten your period and the pain was unbearable. Your hormones were on a rollercoaster, you cried at the tiniest inconvenience and now, apparently, also couldn’t hold back your anger towards your boyfriend.
You waited for him the whole time. After all, you wanted him to give you some comfort and cuddles but ugh! He had the nerve to come home so late!
You felt aggravated that he couldn’t even inform you.
He stepped into the house, shoving you gently to the side: “I’m sorry, baby. But you know how it is when practice runs late,” he calmly explained as he took of his shoes and jacket.
To be honest, Jay tried his best to keep his cool since he was extremely exhausted and just wanted to sleep, not expecting you to shout at him as soon as he entered your home.
All he wanted was to take a shower and relax with you.
His answer exasperated you, “practice?? You told me you had a shooting today,” you frowned angrily.
“Baby… I had a long day, alright? We had a shooting and practice,” and fucking vocal lessons and recordings and some bullshit meeting, he continued in his head. The exhaustion from todays schedule clouded his mind.
He rolled his neck, his gaze falling on the ground as he tried not to fall asleep on the spot.
“Oh wow! Good to know that I didn’t have any fucking clue where my boyfriend was today!” You attacked right back venomously.
“I just wish you’d be a considerate boyfriend who notifies his girlfriend for once!” You added as you spiralled in your anger, slowly but surely aggravating Jay’s patience.
Jay looked up from the ground with dark hooded eyes. With confusion written all over his face, he tried to calm you down: “I said I’m sorry, ok? My phone died.”
“Your phone died? Really?” you said with clear doubt in your tone, having trouble to believe him. You stepped closer to him.
Jay scoffed, “what are you implying, y/n?”
“It’s not really believable that your phone was dead the whole day and that you couldn’t borrow a charger from - I don’t know - maybe your six fellow members or really any of the staff you work with.”
“Are you serious now?!” He exclaimed with a slight hurt tone which you didn’t seem to notice. All you could focus on were his angry furrowed eyebrows, indicating to you that he was caught in act.
“Well, maybe if you were a good boyfriend you’d find another way to inform me! Me! Your girlfriend who’s been waiting for you at home!”
Your yelling didn’t stop here as you went on and on:
“I texted you several times! And even tried to call you but it seems like you’re not even interested in trying to contact me somehow!” You exclaimed as the pitch of your voice went higher and higher.
“Y/N… I-” he rubbed his face in frustration.
Jay had actually a temper himself. But most of the time he tried to be the calm one in your relationship as he knew that you tended to be more emotional driven. Which would also work most of the time - you rarely got into any arguments. He just listened to your rants and always tried his best to adjust to any of your needs. But today you didn’t seem to let go of your attitude as you cut him off.
“What?! I made dinner for us because you told me you’d be back by 5! I just want to eat dinner with you for once and you tell me your phone was dead?! That’s some lame fucking excuse, Jongseong!”
You put a hand on your hip as you were just getting started to let out everything that bothered you today: “And Ju-gyeong told me that you’re going to Japan next week?? Even Jake could inform his - I don’t even know what they are,“ Jay gave you a confused look, not quite following you as you got sidetracked.
Unfortunately, this only irritated you more: “My point is! Even Jake told Jugyeong about your tour but you couldn’t?!!”
You felt your blood pressure rise, “he even fucking texted her that he’ll come late to their fuck-session,” you didn’t mean to share that but your mouth was working faster than your brain, “and I couldn’t even contact you throughout the entire day! So don’t be surprised that I doubt you!”
And you didn’t stop: “And why did you lie telling me that everyone is staying at the dorms?!!Apparently, Heeseung and Sunghoon sleep at their own houses. So why would you stay at the dorms if not everyone is there? And don’t give me a fucking lame excuse again!!”
You just couldn’t hold yourself back. You were having such a bad mood from your cramps and everything, you just let out your frustration.
Your poor boyfriend had to be the victim since he always made you feel like you could share every little thought and feeling with him - which is a good thing most of the times.
But you didn’t consider that you could be also hurting his feelings by saying things you didn’t even mean. Like the next sentence that accidentally slipped your mouth:
“You know what? You’re actually the worst boyfriend ever!!!”
And that’s when Jay snapped.
“Are you fucking serious, y/n?? I just came home from work and the first thing you do is to fucking yell at me??!”
“Well, if you would just talk to me for once you, you-”
Jay cut you off with a loud, anger filled voice: “Enough! Just shut up! You’re giving me a fucking headache!”
The deep and loud bass of his voice made you flinch in response, your eyes widened and your hands started to tremble a little.
You’ve seen your boyfriend angry many times but it was never directed at you. He always talked to you in a calm manner and never snapped at you.
You had to admit, hearing him like this scared you.
But you tried to quickly gather yourself - your own anger dominated your head.
You let out a faux scoff as you tried to cover your fearful reaction: “Me?? Why would I shut up, Jay?! You’re literally-“ Jay cut you off once again.
„Because you’re being really difficult right now, y/n! Quit acting like a child maybe and don’t bother me anymore! For gods sake!“ Jay shouted angrily and walked away heading to the stairs.
You couldn’t help but roll your eyes at him, “where do you think you’re going? We’re not done yet!”
“We’re done, y/n!” He yelled in frustration. “We’re fucking done.” He repeated quietly as if he was talking to himself.
But you could still hear him. What does he mean by that? He’s not breaking up with you, is he?
Your world halted for a minute. Why would he break up with you? You just had a little fight over nothing, that’s not a good enough reason to end things, right?
Right?
You took a deep breath. Ok, that escalated. You didn’t mean to get so mad at him. But still, you were hurt. Why didn’t he tell you that he’ll be on tour again next week for three whole months? Why did you had to find it out through someone else?
And you knew that you shouldn’t compare your relationship with others but when you were talking with Ju-gyeong on the phone she suddenly told you that she received a sweet text from Jake informing her that he’ll be late tonight and that she shouldn’t worry about him.
Normally, this wouldn’t faze you at all but when she told you about the tour you were already feeling a little sad. Well maybe not a little - you were crying the whole time after you ended the call.
Did he not care about you anymore to tell you important stuff like this? You couldn’t help but let your mind wander off and even questioned Jay’s loyalty towards you. What if he found someone else?
It honestly wouldn’t surprise you. Not because Jay neglected you - not at all, he was actually the perfect partner you always dreamed of. He was well mannered, looked after you, always treated you with respect, cherished you and made you feel so so loved.
No, it wasn’t him who made you wonder if you were even worthy of his love. It was those stupid stupid comments and posts about your idol boyfriend on every platform you scrolled through.
There were so many pretty people who commented about the good looks of your boyfriend and how they hoped that ‘his girlfriend could fight‘ or that ‘his girlfriend is lucky because he’s such a gentleman and sweetheart’.
Well, duh! You knew that! That’s why you’re together with him for more than 3 years!
But what if he also knows that and realises that he deserves someone better than you? What if he leaves you one day for someone who is just as good looking and treats him way better than you do?
So no, it wouldn’t be a surprise if he did leave you one day but it would - to put it in mild words - crush your world literally. You already felt sick to your stomach when you thought of this possibility.
And of course, you knew you should’ve just talked with him about it. About everything that’s been on your mind. The tour, the dorms, the online comments.
Your rational side told you to stop being dramatic and to not let these doubts and fears get to your head. But, somewhere deep inside you, you feared that his answer would hurt you tremendously.
You guess, however, your final straw broke after today’s events and you let out all of your frustration, which was previously trapped somewhere deeply hidden inside your heart.
You truly didn’t think that this fight would escalate like that and that he’d say something like this.
I fucked up real bad.
When you went upstairs to your bedroom, after you decided to follow Jay and make things clear, you heard him taking a shower.
Ok, he wouldn’t be taking a shower if he wanted to break up, right?
You let out a deep breath when you noticed tears flowing down your cheeks.
You tried to be level-headed. This fight wasn’t even that serious. Your relationship is way too serious and secure to end it over a silly fight. You tried to calm yourself down.
Frustrated, you sat down on the edge of your bed and closed your eyes.
God, I’m such an idiot. He’ll definitely leave me because of this.
You sighed, your head hurt, your stomach was cramping - you just wanted to lie down and forget everything. Regret took over your whole body.
I’m so stupid. I’m so stupid.
You covered your face with your hands as your entire body shook from your sobs. You pressed your lips together as you tried to not make any noises, not wanting to bother him any further.
When you heard that the sound of the water splashing stopped you quickly lied down and shuffled far away from Jays side of the bed. Wiping away your tears, you sniffled quietly as you hid yourself with the blanket and pretended to be asleep.
You held your breath as you heard him rummaging around your room, probably getting dressed for bed. And when you heard the door click you thought he would join you in bed but you were wrong.
The next thing you knew, you heard footsteps on the other side of the door and after a while you heard your front door close.
Did he just leave like that?
You panicked. You quickly stood up and went to your hallway, your eyes searched for his shoes but they were nowhere to be found.
Tears formed in your eyes as you fell down on your knees and started sobbing yet again.
Did your boyfriend of three years just leave you like that? Without even saying anything to you? You couldn’t believe it.
Uneven gasps left your mouth as you couldn’t control your sobs. You knew that this fight was your fault but still! How could he do this to you? You thought he loved you after all.
Why am I so stupid? He clearly had a tough day and I should be the one who gives him comfort and a safe place when he comes home.
No wonder he’d rather stay at the dorms than here, with me.
Your sobs grew louder and louder. After sitting there for about 15 minutes your headache became stronger and you went back to your bed.
You tried to ignore the emptiness of your shared bed by lying yet again far away from his side and by not facing it.
You closed your eyes but your tears didn’t stop. Your mind was racing, thinking about Jay.
Suddenly, you heard the beeping of your doorlock causing you to open your eyes. You froze on the spot as you recognised Jay’s footsteps heading upstairs.
Yet again, you held onto your breath trying to make no noises when he opened your bedroom door. You shut your eyes and listened to his every move actively. When you heard him settling beside you, you couldn’t help but feel the guilt and sadness eat you up.
You could’ve been cuddling with him now. Ugh, this is so stupid but you couldn’t turn around and tell him you’re sorry just like - you fucked up too bad for that.
Out of nowhere, you felt Jays hand rest on your waist. His warmth and tender touch brought new tears to your eyes as you continued to pretend to be sleeping.
“I know you’re awake.” Jay said quietly with a rasp in his voice. His voice sounded like he just spent some time crying.
Shame and sadness took over your whole being. I made him cry, you thought regretfully.
You took his hand and pushed it off of your waist. You were too embarrassed and ashamed of yourself to face him now.
But Jay wasn’t having any of it as he yet again snaked his whole arm around your waist and pulled your body easily to his firm chest. You tried to wiggle away but he encircled his other arm around your body, holding you down with a strength you couldn’t fight.
He buried his face in the back of your neck, leaving small kisses all over it. Your heart melted at his action.
„Hmm… you’re my whole world, you know that,” he murmured against your skin, making your heart race as a blush crept up your neck, “my lovely precious girl.”
“My sweet sweet flower,” he pulled you closer to him as he sweet talked to you, “why are we fighting, baby? I just want to cuddle my love.“
Suddenly, you turned around and buried your face in his chest. You clutched onto his shirt as you began to sob loudly in his embrace.
„I’m sorry. I’m sorry.” You cried so hard that your whole body was shaking in his hold.
“Babe… my love…” he sighed softly and started caressing your back in hopes to calm you down.
“Why are you crying? Don’t cry, hm..? You’re breaking my heart, babygirl,” he spoke softly as he pressed a gentle kiss on your forehead. Feeling his soft lips on you caused warmth and safety to spread throughout your whole body.
Jay felt himself tear up a little at the sound of your crying. He put one hand on your head and pushed it further against his chest. The other encircled your waist impossibly tighter as he tangled your legs with his own - your bodies almost melted together.
You couldn’t respond to him as you further snuggled into his chest, wetting his shirt with your tears.
“Shh, it’s ok. I’m here, hm? Don’t worry I’m here,” he patted your head lovingly.
“I- I thought you left me just now,” you mumbled so softly and quietly against his chest that he couldn’t even understand you.
“I’m sorry, princess, I couldn’t quite catch that. Please repeat that for me, my love,” he spoke ever so tenderly and with upmost love and affection reflecting in his voice.
You looked up to him and his heart broke at the sight of your crying face. Your eyes were reddish, your cheeks were wet and a hue of pink shimmered on your nose from all the crying.
He put his hand, which was previously patting your head, on your cheek. It encouraged you to speak again.
“When I heard you leave just now, I thought you le- left me because you said ‘we’re done’,” you hiccuped, your whole body shook yet again because of the anxiety you felt at the thought of him breaking up with you.
“Babe.. aw my precious girl,” he pulled your head back to his chest as he snuggled his cheek on the top of your head.
“You’re so cute, you know that? When you cry like this. It truly breaks my heart,” he put a kiss on your hair, rubbing his hand on your back again.
“Hm? Don’t cry, my darling. I would never leave you, baby, you know that, hm?” he cooed at you as if you were a baby - his baby.
“We’ll never break up, honey. Especially not because of a silly fight. This relationship with you is it for me. I’m gonna marry you one day and we’ll grow old together - you know this, baby. Why’d you think something like this, sweetheart?”
“I- I-“ you sniffled lightly, having trouble to express your emotions, “I don’t know. You never yelled at me. I don’t know,” you repeated, “I think I got scared because I was really mean to you.“
You tried to calm yourself down but you couldn’t help and sob quietly when you muttered: “and then you said we’re done and left me just like that. I thought you were angry at me and meant that our relationship is done.” You clutched onto his shirt as tightly as you could.
“Oh Baby…“ he put his forehead against yours and caressed your cheek with his thumb, “I just didn’t want to fight with you, baby. I was just really exhausted and I’m sorry I talked to you like that.”
He kissed your nose as he continued, “that was wrong of me. And I’m not angry at you. We’re good, babygirl.”
He kissed your temple as he put your face against his neck, trying to calm you down. Which really helped - you felt like a heavy weight was lifted off of your heart. In response you wrapped your own arms around his torso.
“I only went outside to take out the trash and then I felt like the weather was refreshing. So I took a walk to calm down. I really regretted how I spoke to you. I’m your boyfriend after all, I should make you feel loved and protected. Not scared…” he whispered the last sentence as he felt a lump forming in his throat.
He cleared his throat, “I shouldn’t have told you to shut up. I’m really, deeply sorry. Please forgive me, princess.” He took your hand and kissed the back of, then held it firmly against his chest.
“Hm?” he put his chin on your head and closed his eyes, waiting for your response.
When he didn’t hear anything from you for a moment he got worried. “Baby?”, he leaned slightly back to look at your face as he brought his fingers to your chin in order to lift it up.
But you quickly tightened your grasp around him and hid your face in his chest. That’s when Jay realised that you started to cry again.
Jays concern grew bigger as his eyebrows furrowed in worry, „y/n? What’s wrong? Did I say something wrong?“
You let out a quiet sob and shook your head. „No,“ you answered.
„My love, please tell what’s wrong so I can fix it, hm?“ he requested ever so gently and rubbed your arm.
You looked up to him, your eyes were shiny and adorably big and your lips formed a small pout as the guilt and regret grew bigger.
“This fight was totally my fault, Jay. I shouldn’t have talked to you like that. Especially not if you just came home from work. I shouldn’t have doubted you. I should be the one apologising but you’re too good for me,” your tears streamed down your face and Jay’s crease between his eyebrows grew bigger.
“I think you did the best in that situation otherwise it would’ve escalated further if you wouldn’t have ended it, Jay. So please don’t apologise. Please forgive me,” you sniffled.
“It’s ok, baby. Sometimes when I get irritated and feel my blood boil you just have this magic in you where you immediately calm me down. I should’ve done the same to you but I was just exhausted from todays schedule I couldn’t contain myself. And it’s also my fault because I gave you reasons to be mad. I’m sorry for everything. Let’s just forget everything today. Ok, my love?”
Jay hoped that this would help you calm down entirely so that you could spend the rest of the night in peace together.
You shook your head again. You were tired from all the crying, but still, you just couldn’t hold the tears back in front of your boyfriend.
“Stop apologising, Jay!“ You whined. “This fight was entirely on me, you’re making it worse!”
„Sorry,“ he chuckled to annoy you and to lift up your mood. You just snuggled further into him as a response.
“Let’s talk about it then, baby. Tell me everything that bothered you,” he pushed your hair behind your ear as he looked in your eyes with nothing but love and patience.
You bit your lips and your eyes wandered elsewhere, avoiding his.
“Y/n.“ he demanded in a soft tone.
“I didn’t tell you I’ll be late today, hm? That’s what bothered my princess? From now on I’ll let you know, ok?“ You nodded quietly in response.
„But babe,“ he chuckled softly while he caressed your hair again lovingly, „I already told you that my phone died. And usually you don’t really mind when practice runs late. Tell me what’s really wrong,“ he just knew you too well.
„I just,“ you took deep breath as you tried to stabilise your voice, “I felt really awful today because, you know, I told you… I got my period and you know how I need you to cuddle with me especially when it’s the first day. And then I prepared dinner for us even though I wasn’t feeling good but I wanted to because we never eat dinner together… but when you didn’t show up it just broke something in me I guess…” you blinked your tears away.
You looked at Jay but he was already gazing at you with the softest eyes. He gave you the reassurance that he was listening. He repositioned you two, now you were lying on top of him and snuggled your face in the crook of his neck as he was on his back.
“I’m sorry, that was stupid of me. I had in my mind that I needed to be home early but we were so caught up in our schedules, I didn’t even realise it was past 10. We were so busy, I honestly forgot that I had a phone and a girl waiting for me,” you chuckled at his silliness, “when I realised how late it had gotten, I thought you’d already be sleeping so I didn’t even bother to charge my phone. Who else would I need it for other than my girl?” He spoke softly.
You pouted at him, “you’re so cute.” You kissed his cheek lovingly, when regret clouded your heart.
The corner of your lips went down, “I’m sorry for saying you were lying. That was so wrong of me, please forgive me.” Your eyes glistened with nothing but sorrow and regret.
“It’s ok, baby.” Jay reassured you, still unsatisfied with the sad look on your face.
“And then? What happened that you were so upset, princess?”
“And then I - I don’t know - I saw these comments online talking about how great you are and it made me insecure that maybe I’m not good enough for you and that’s why you didn’t bother to contact me.”
Jay had to hold himself back from interrupting you and to tell you to stop thinking such nonsense, but he let you have this moment to pour your heart out.
“I now know that you couldn’t, but at that moment it just got too much. Because the other day I went to a café date with Minju and Sooyun - you know the cute café with the cute rose petal cups that I wanted to find?” Jay hummed, reminding himself in his mind to buy them for you, allowing you to continue, “that day, we were just talking and I told them I don’t see you so often because you sleep in the dorms. Then they told me that their boyfriends never go to the dorms, they looked at me with such a pity look. It just felt weird, like I exposed your secret and they felt bad for me. Why-“
You bit your lip, hesitating to continue your question. “Why would you sleep there when the others don’t?” you asked in small tone as your heart started to beat a little faster.
While Jay stroked your hair he spoke softly: “Baby, everyone sleeps there nowadays except for those two selfish idiots. Heeseung Hyung is just being a stubborn idiot who likes to make life harder for our manager and Hoon’s apartment is nearby our dorm. That’s why they don’t stay there. Well, Hee Hyung did sleep for one night and then he had a fight with Jungwon. Maybe Sooyun forgot that in the moment.”
“Minju’s apartment is not near your dorms,” you stated confused.
“Baby, Hoon’s home is. Not Minju’s.”
“They don’t share a home?”
“No, I think they use both of their apartments and take turns, or something.”
“Oh,” you truly felt embarrassed.
“I’m-“ Jay put a finger on your lips shushing you, “no apologies no more. It’s okey, misunderstandings happen. That’s why we’re the best team on this earth because we make everything clear.” You nodded shyly.
“What else did you wanna talk about?”
“Uh, nothing-“ you then remembered the one big thing.
Of course your boyfriend noticed the hesitation and shift in your voice. He raised an eyebrow, demanding an answer.
You nuzzled your face against his neck again, sadness taking over you yet again for nth time this day.
“You’re going on tour next week…? Jugyeong told me today. I pretended that I already knew - but you have no idea how devastated I was, jjongie,” you said his nickname with so much pain in your voice that he couldn’t help but close his eyes in regret.
You sniffled quietly and clenched onto his shirt, “after that she got so excited because Jake texted her ‘so sweetly’ that he’ll be late for their date. I don’t know, I guess I was jealous? And then I got mad… I know it makes no sense but I was just hurt.”
“It made me feel like I’m not important enough for you.”
Jay’s heart broke at this sentence.
“Don’t say something like that, princess,” he kissed your head, “you’re the most important person in my life. And I’m sorry I made you feel the opposite.”
“why didn’t you tell me about the tour, jjongie? Why?”
He sighed softly, “It’s just… I didn’t tell you because you always get so sad whenever I have to leave for a long period of time. And I always feel like I failed you and our relationship whenever I have to leave you alone.”
“So what was your great master plan? Telling me one night before?”
When you didn’t hear a response from Jay you lifted your head to look at him.
Then you saw a sheepish smile spread over his stupid yet cute face. His expression resembled a child who was caught by his grandma stealing a candy from the kitchen drawer.
“Jay!” You exclaimed in disbelief. “Are you for real?”
“Babeee…” he whined childishly,
“I don’t know what my plan was. I just didn’t want to make you sad - that’s all I know. Whenever I had the chance to tell you - I couldn’t. You always are so happy and beaming so brightly, I just didn’t want to ruin your mood. Please don’t be mad.” He nuzzled your cheek with his nose.
“But! I am mad, Jongseong! Of course I’ll be sad when you leave me whether it be for three months or three hours. I like having you around me!”
“I’m glad to hear that,” he grinned as he put your head back to his chest.
You huffed, “I want you to share every little thing with me, jjongie. No matter how sad or mad I’ll be, that’s why you’re here with me, right? You always know what to do to make me happy again. And even if you don’t - you alone are enough to give me comfort and happiness.” You pressed a kiss on his clothed chest as you rested your chin on the same spot to look at him again.
“From now on you have to share every information you have from your company immediately with me. On the same day as you get it. Understood?”
“Yes, ma’am.” He pulled your body upwards so that your face lied directly next to his. His arms were wrapped around your body, meanwhile your hand rested on his chest.
Then he lowered his voice, “I already have my schedules for the upcoming year, should I show you?”
“Not now, jjongie. I still need to process the news from today,” you chuckled sadly.
“Can I kiss you now? I’ve been waiting the whole day.” You didn’t verbally respond to that as you just leaned in with closed eyes.
Jay kissed you slowly and sensually, trying to convey his apology and love for you in a way he couldn’t do with words.
You felt safe and protected, caged in his arms like that. The kiss expressed nothing but pure love and devotion.
“I love you, you know that, right?” He murmured against your lips.
“Hm,” you couldn’t quite response as he didn’t wait and entered his tongue inside your mouth. One of his hand laid now on your jaw and guided you. You quickly realised that this kiss had a faster tempo and tried to catch up.
Needing a quick break from the kiss-turned-into-a-makeout, you pulled away slightly.
But his kisses didn’t stop as he kissed you all over your jaw and neck.
As he did so he changed your position by laying you completely flat on your back while he went on top of you.
Pushing the blanket aside, he supported himself by resting one of his arm next your head whilst his other hand went down to hold your waist.
“You’re the best thing that ever happened to me,” he mumbled as he left wet kisses on your cleavage.
He leaned into you as you felt his warm minty breath against your lips, “don’t ever doubt our relationship, baby. And before I forget-“ he leaned back slightly to look at your face properly and squeezed your face with a firm hand, giving your squished pouty face a stern look: “from now on you’re on a social media ban. No comments or contents. Don’t mind those comments, they don’t know me like you do. You’re perfect for me. And no fight will break us apart. Even death won’t do us apart. Alright?”
You nodded slightly as you tried to suppress the lump in your throat. However, a single tear escaped your eye, exposing yourself.
Jay kissed away the tear. “Good girl,“ he whispered as he let go of you face and attacked it with several kisses - on your nose, on your temples, your eyelids, and lastly, he kissed your lips.
You kissed him back and encircled your arms around his neck, pushing him further down to express your need for him.
He hummed against your lips in satisfaction and let his hand wander underneath your shirt to caress your bare stomach - leaving goosebumps all over it.
His hand then travelled down your ass, squeezing it lovingly.
“Jjongie-“ you gasped in surprise.
“Let me make it up to you, my baby. Let me show you how truly sorry and regretful I am,” his kisses trailed down to your cleavage again.
You wanted to protest - but he didn’t give you any chance to speak up as he started to suck on your nipple through the thin fabric of your top. You relaxed in his hold and sighed so softly, “feels so good.”
Since you prepared yourself for bed earlier you didn’t wear a bra which resulted in making you feel every movement of his mouth - and his tongue.
You stuttered his name in a quiet moan, “J- Jay,” and closed your eyes to feel every tingle rushing throughout your body.
Unconsciously, you tangled your hands in his hair and pressed his face into your boobs.
Just as he was about to hook his finger around your pyjamas to pull it down you stopped him by grabbing his hand, “w- wait!”
He gave you a questioning look - confused at your sudden movement.
“I’m sorry! I totally forgot that I’m on my period.” You pouted sadly.
He gave you a cocky smirk, “well, that didn’t stop us before.” He raised his eyebrows in amusement but didn’t make any movement to continue.
He actually did the opposite - he pushed your pyjama and top back to place and laid back next to you. After covering you both with the warm blanket, he cuddled you just like you had been doing before.
“That was one time,” you said in a scolding tone, feeling your neck and ears heat up.
“And it was in the beginning of our relationship! How do you even remember this? At that time we hadn’t seen each other for a few months, ok? I think it was 4 months,” you started to ramble, “or was it 3? And if I remember correctly, it was a huge mess. And, you know, that’s not healthy. Actually I read somewhere-“
Before you could continue, Jay put his hand along your jaw and pressed his thumb against your lips, making you shut up. You were flustered, to say the least.
“It’s okay, baby, I was just teasing you. I forgot it myself,” he glided his thumb across your lip.
You took his hand in your own and pecked his lips.
“I’ll reserve the energy and gladly fuck you into oblivion next week before I leave,” he whispered against your lips, catching you off guard.
“Jongseong!” You exclaimed. Flabbergasted at his boldness, you hit his chest with your palm.
“What?” He poked your side with a teasing smile, “why are you acting so shy now?”
You didn’t reply to him - you were too embarrassed, even after all those years of his teasings. You hid your face in the crook of his neck as you cuddled further into him.
When he started to rub your lower stomach the atmosphere shifted quickly into a cozy one.
“Does this feel good?” He asked in a soothing tone after a couple of minutes passed.
You hummed, “it’s making me sleepy,” closing your eyes.
“Hm? My girl is so strong. Sleep tight, baby. You cried a lot today, you should rest,” he kissed your forehead, worried that you might get a headache.
Suddenly, you disturbed the silence.
“Jjongie?” you whispered.
“Hm?”
“I didn’t mean that earlier, you know? You’re the best boyfriend I never ever even dared to imagine. I’ll work on my temper,” you mumbled sadly, full of regret thinking about your words earlier.
Jay had to think for a few seconds as he didn’t understand what you were talking about at first.
When it clicked, his embrace around you got tighter, “I know you didn’t mean it. Don’t worry your pretty little head over nothing.”
He caressed your head in order to help you fall asleep when he whispered: “I’ll try to communicate with you better.”
“‘s oke,” you mumbled sleepily.
“Love you ver’ much jjong’,“ you muttered incoherently.
He pressed a kiss on your head again and murmured against it: “I love you more, my love.”
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
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moriitis · 2 months ago
Text
Don't talk to strangers on the internet.
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Toby Rogers x Female Reader. Content/Warnings; phone sex, dirty talk, masturbation, threats, graphic themes, sexual themes.
18+ MINORS DNI. NSFW/SMUT.
Word count; 4.7k
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So, you met this guy. He was cute, his pictures on his social media were inviting enough and eventually the two of you got around to talking. He was.. charming of sorts, oh, and funny too! But there was one thing that always rubbed you the wrong way, how he always avoided certain questions. You'd had your fair share of friendships over the wonders of the internet, you knew a handful of people and if you were asked, you knew their age, whereabouts they came from and what their dog was called. The usual information you felt any friend was ought to know but this guy.. you weren't sure; a part of you just assuming that maybe he some sort of catfish? - Or just a very private person and hey, who were you to blame? The internet could be a weird, dangerous and pretty scary place. You'd had the phrase 'Stranger danger' drilled into your head more times than you could count. But him -
Toby.
That was all you knew of him. Well, other than he was also in his twenties and owned a crappy pick up truck. He'd met you through -
Toby: a friend of a friend….. thought u seemed cute :)
And well, he was cute to so fuck it; you gave him a chance and opened the DM he sent. His Instagram was plain as anything, with barely any followers and equally barely posts. Some crappy mirror selfie, a photo of his truck and then a picture of a cake. It all felt… well, weird and it gave your gut a weird feeling.
[Y/N]: friend of a friend? umm.. who?
Naturally, you were open to meeting new people and forming friendships, but your Instagram was pretty private and you couldn't think of which friend who would give it out without your consent.
1 Image Attached.
And it was a screenshot of your friends Instagram. It was.. better than nothing but it only opened up a lot more questions than answers. It was bad, you were single, lonely and he was cute; so fuck it you'd let it slide this once. After accepting his follow request, you allowed him further into your private life. The photos and pictures on your feed detailing every part and aspect of your life. The park you would visit, what you ate for breakfast, your Spotify wrapped, photos of your pets, it was endless but your Instagram was your safe space; so you posted a lot on there. Even after accepting him, a part of you expected him to almost immediately ask for nudes or better yet, send some unasked dick picture in your DMs. But that was where Toby surprised you, because for months he kinda just ghosted you or wouldn't message at all. You weren't going to complain, you liked not having someone spam the shit out of you.
Then, as days and weeks ticked by, you'd upload more. Admittedly, you forgot about your little DM encounter with Toby until he liked your photo. It was just a picture of your new nails, a little treat you'd like to get once the blue moon. As soon as you got the notification, your phone buzzed again and it was another DM from Toby.
Toby: hey. sorry i havent messaged in awhile. lol
You blinked, unsure on what to type back but it was too late now because you'd opened the message and he had seen that you had seen it. So you both sat in the chat, lingering, that familiar online green dot beside his profile picture as you thought on what to say. This small talk shit was… a bit boring and you hated it. So, after a moment, you typed a response.
[Y/N]: oh no dont worry its ok!
He read it in an instant.
Toby: im toby btw. srry i never like rlly introduced myself and now u probs think im some creep
A laughing emoji followed behind his sentence and you couldn't help the smile creeping across your face. You swiftly tapped your fingers against the screen as you typed back a reply.
[Y/N]: im [Y/N]. haha its ok
You cringed a little, you felt like you were being so blunt toward him; so for safety measures you sent a little smiling emoji after your own text.
The small talk flickered back and forth for a couple more months until Toby's messages became a little more consistent and as much as you hated to admit it; you were opening up to him more and more. The awkwardness of the first interaction seemed to have disappeared the more you interacted with him, yet that nagging voice in the back of your mind were persistent. Despite the time you had known each other, Toby would dodge each question you asked him.
[Y/N]: so where r u from?
Then suddenly he'd go offline. Then at other times he would respond at insane hours of the morning. Time zones, you thought. Maybe he were just across the country and he'd respond at times when you were asleep? It made sense, it was logical and yet that voice still lingered; that something was weird about this Toby user. His green flags kept you around though, or the random memes or reels he would send you that would make you laugh. Before you knew it, the months rolled into a year already of knowing him and each time he'd send you a message, there'd be a flutter of excitement in the pits of your stomach.
It was late, well, early actually. Your sleep schedule was beyond fucked and you were sleeping until noon and staying up until the early hours of the morning. Toby must've been a night owl too, because almost every time he saw you online in the early hours of the morning, he'd send a message. This time though, there was no message and he was offline, the chat between the two of you unusually quiet. Now, perhaps it was the lack of sleep and the impulsiveness that followed, but you were lingering in the chat; debating whether you should message him or not. You didn't want to bother or disturb him, especially if he were sleeping.. but you were adamant he had to be awake.
4:24 AM.
[Y/N]: r u awake
Silence, no respond and with a sigh you admitted defeat. Maybe you should just try to sleep. Then, that green bubble appeared next to his picture and you quickly tapped back into the chat.
Toby: now i am
[Y/N]: fuck im srry did i wake u up
Toby: lol nah i was joking :p
You rolled your eyes, smiling softly to yourself.
[Y/N]: wat u doin
Toby's speech bubble appeared, disappeared, appeared and then disappeared again in the chat.
1 Image Attached.
Your curiosity peaked and you raised a brow. Admittedly, you were nervous to open it because now you were convinced it was going to be a picture of his dick. This had, sadly, happened too many times and it had become a little predictable now. However, as you clicked opened the image, it was nothing but a picture of him laying on a bed. There was a tv on a dresser, it looked like he were watching some movie but honestly, your attention was elsewhere. The sheets were draped over his legs in an almost half-assed fashion. Your eyes, dare you admit it, trailed higher up the photo. His bare legs on display, one laid out straight while the other propped up with his knee in the air. It looked as if he were only in his boxers but you couldn't really tell, it was dark and the only thing illuminating the photo was the glare from the tv before him. Now, Toby was hot, you were single and you couldn't help but admit that maybe you were a little lonely and that photo opened up a lot more feelings than you anticipated to feel tonight. Swiping off the photo, you saw he was lingering in the chat and decided to message back quickly before it got weird.
[Y/N]: oh lol just watching tv. kinda boring.
You teased and Toby sent a laughing emoji.
Toby: probably better than wat u r doing… wat r u doing? huh?!
You laughed at the tone of message. With a huff, you raised your phone above you before snapping a photo. Your face, thankfully, was out of frame, but the photo allowed him to catch a glimpse of your collarbones; the rest of your chest tucked away under the thicket of your duvet. It was a teasing photo, you could admit that. He could see your jaw and jawline, a soft smile across your face.
It was also dark in your room, so you used the phone's flash to give him better access of what he was looking at. Then you sent, not wanting to give it another thought. Toby reacted to the photo with a gasped emoji but you knew he were just teasing, the motion enough to make you chuckle softly.
Toby: ur legit not even doing anything and me watching tv is boring? lol ok.
You loved how comfortable you now seemed with one another, a huge difference compared to a year ago when he first popped up in your DMs. His message made you laugh again, sending him a gif of someone poking their tongue out.
[Y/N]: u sound like a hater
Toby: me??? a hater???? LOLLLLLL sure.
Then the chat went silent a little, but he were still online; waiting, yearning even. This friendship between you and Toby was something you cherished, it flowed so well that it felt as if you guys had known each other longer than a year. With a sigh, you tapped your fingers against your screen; trying to find words to keep the conversation going. It seemed, however, that Toby thought the same thing and he had already beat you to it.
Toby: u know. ive never heard ur voice.
Those words, nothing but a simple array of pixels, was enough to make you feel another flutter of excitement. You were a little surprised by his message and you also knew that he were right. You hadn't heard his voice either and now a part of you were also equally curious.
[Y/N]: what r u implying? lol
Toby: idk. maybe i should have ur number and call u.
You raised a brow, it was smooth; trying to get your number and all that. You weren't going to hesitate, because admittedly you felt a little more comfortable with Toby than ever before.
[Y/N]: lol but its late and im tired. plus i sound like shit :p
It were true and even though everything in your very being told you that you wanted to call him, you were also a little nervous at the prospect of it.
Toby: u think i care?
He was right, why do you care? Maybe it was because there were feelings that were blossoming. Fuck, and that was bad itself as you had no idea if this guy even had a girlfriend. You didn't want to be some wrecker, or worse, the other woman. But why would you care? Is the only thought you could muster up, it's not like this phone call was going to go anywhere. You were friends, nothing else, no benefits, no strings attached; just two people who enjoy each others company. So, before you knew it you had typed your phone number away in the chat. Nothing followed after a couple minutes, making your hands clammy from sweat. God, you hated phone calls and now you were nothing but a puddle of sweaty anxiety as you waited for him to call.
Then there it was, your phone buzzing from the incoming call. It was an unknown number, naturally and you only assumed it was Toby's. Although you hesitated to answer, feeling yourself chew on the bottom of you lip. Quickly, you answered and pressed your phone to your ear. It was quiet, an awkward silence looming over the two of you.
"Hey," he spoke, his voice a lot more huskier and deeper than you imagined it to be. Immediately, you felt shy and swallowed back the lump in your throat to respond.
"Hey," you replied, your nervousness evident in your tone of voice alone. You could hear a short, brief chuckle emerge from the other end and you sat up a little, tucking a strand of hair behind your ear.
"I don't think you sound gross," he started, causing a small fluster of red to emerge on your cheeks. You were thankful this wasn't FaceTime. "I l-ll-.. like your voice." He spoke in nothing but a hushed whisper, which yeah, made sense considering it was nearly 5 AM. Toby had opened up to you about his stutters before, so hearing him struggle with some words were nothing out of the ordinary for you. You were thankful he trusted you enough to open up about it really.
You chuckled, trying your best to remain quiet. "Thanks," you started, your heart beating a million beats per second.
Then that awkward silence again and you cringed, licking your lips wet before speaking again.
"Sorry, I'm so awkward," you let you a short chuckle, running a hand through your hair as you tried to act more casual. Toby chuckled again.
"It's okay, I get it," he reassured, his voice soothing and comforting. You palmed nervously at your duvet, not even too sure what to say. There was always so much to say over text and now he had you pinned, in the spotlight a little and you were choking.
"There's a lot I want to say-" you admitted sheepishly and Toby hummed in interest.
"Then say it."
You exhaled a shaky breath, licking your lips once again. As much as he had you pinned, you also had him. There were so many questions you wanted to ask, so many things you wanted to know and now seemed as good time as any. If he were to hang up, then that would answer a lot of your suspicions. "I just feel like I barely know you."
"Then what do you w-ww-.. wanna know?" he asked, his voice gentle and welcoming and frankly it put you on edge a little. You didn't want to interrogate the man but this was the closest you had been to actually knowing more about him in the whole damned year you knew him!
"Well, I'm assuming your name isn't just Toby."
He chuckled.
"I mean, it's Toby… but I do also have a l-llast name, yeah."
You swallowed, throat becoming unbearably dry.
"Well… what is it?" You asked, your anxiety bubbling at the base of your throat as if you were about to throw up.
"Toby Rogers." You could hear him smiling as he said it and you breathed out a sigh of relief which was loud enough for him to hear. "Why'd you wanna know?" And admittedly, you weren't sure. Maybe because it just felt more.. real? Honestly, you just felt better knowing than unknowing.
"I-I-.." you couldn't explain yourself. "Honestly, I don't know-" you admitted, chuckling dryly.
Toby Rogers. Toby Rogers. That name repeated itself in the back of your mind, each time you found yourself almost recognising it more and more. It was so familiar, like you had heard it before and yet you were unsure as to where. Toby's short scoff brought you back to the conversation at hand. You could hear that same tv in the background on his end. It wasn't loud but loud enough for you to make out screaming.
"Are you watching a horror film?" you asked, snorting out a little laugh at his nerdiness. Although, you received no response, no answer. The screaming just filling the end of the phone, you felt that uneasiness creep back into your very being. Then, after a second long silence, he spoke.
"Oh- hah.. sorry, yeah, I am, didn't think you could hear it."
You forced a smile, scratching absently at the back of your neck.
"So.. what are you wearing?" Your heart fell through to your ass and you froze, wide eyed in horror at his sudden question. It was unexpected and nervously you choked out a laugh.
"Uh-" you started and before you could even muster up any courage to speak, he was laughing; which only calmed you briefly.
"Haha! Oh god, I'm joking, I'm not a weirdo-" he chuckled, laughing a lot harder than he had recently done. You rolled your eyes, shit he wanted to play games? You were up for it, but first you needed to fan yourself for a moment. His laughter faded back into that silence as you glanced down at your body. Admittedly, you just wore some old over sized shirt that had acquired many holes over the years and your underwear. Wasn't particularly lingerie, but shit, it's not like you exactly planned to actually do something with this guy?
You snickered to yourself purely because the idea of.. being so intimate with him excited with you more than you'd ever know.
"I'm wearing just some old shirt, that's-.." you choked out a laugh. "That's really too big for me.. and just-.. just my underwear." Toby was silent on the other end, not expecting you to actually straight up answer his question. He let out a short chuckle and then another, not believing what you had said but by the serious tone in your voice, he dawned on him that you were being honest.
"Oh?" he finally croaked out, feeling something stir within him. It was this flutter of excitement, that began in the lower pits of his stomach and finally travelled to his cock. Now, he knew what dangerous game he were playing and he knew that if he accepted this invitation, it could bring him a great deal of trouble. Your voice was just so.. tempting and it lured him in just to taste more of your sweet words. Toby clenched his jaw a little, he was getting so riled up at just the thought of you alone. "You don't sleep naked?" there was a teasing hint in his tone of voice and you chuckled.
"Would you rather I did?" And it was there he melted. Fuck, he'd do anything. He'd tug on some fucking pants right now just to march over to your house and fuck you relentlessly. Your words resulted in him shuddering, his breath hot and heavy down the phone. Toby knew to choose his words carefully here because ultimately he knew he were playing with fire, it's just the only issue was; he was thinking more with his dick now than with his head. Toby scoffed out chuckle once again, his voice a lot more huskier than before.
"I mean.. I would-" he started, his mind a horny, jumbled mess as he tried to conjure up the right words. "Would make it easier for me to fuck you." Speaking those words made his skin prickle, it was so wrong and in that moment it felt so right. The tension in the air was palpable, his mouth feeling increasingly dry. His cock stirred and twitched beneath the fabric of his boxers, making him shift uncomfortably in bed. God, he wasn't gonna jack off tonight but fuck it, if you were gonna, he wasn't going to let you do it alone.
And you weren't any better than he was on the other end, your own clit aching for a simple touch. It made you shift also, in some sort of desperate attempt to feel some fabric against the sensitive nerves. The touch, however, not enough as you felt yourself slipping back into the softness of your pillow. His words almost made your head spin, your breath hitching in your throat as you tried to control your thoughts; which were riddled with nothing but filth. As much as you tried to deny it, you could feel the dampness seep through the thin layer of fabric between your legs, feeling so ridiculously turned on that a part of you questioned how long it had been since you hooked up with someone.
"God-.." you breathed helplessly down the phone, your words and breathless tone already giving Toby the thumbs up that he was headed in the right direction.
It was there he laughed a little, almost in disbelief. "Wait, are you touching yourself?"
You froze a little in his reply, dumbfounded. Should you be? Your body ached for it, so why not? Quickly, you pushed a hand down between your thighs and got to rolling your index and middle finger against your clit. You gasped at the touch, legs parting a little more as you rolled your head back into pillow beneath you. The touch brought an immediate warmth to the lower of your stomach, earning a soft, delicate whimper to escape from between the plumpness of your lips.
Those noises only stirred Toby into motion himself, palming himself through his boxers with a soft grunt here and there. His eyes closed briefly, imagining all those delicate sounds to be coming from the tip of his cock. Wanting to desperately to feel your lips wrapped around his shaft.
"I like those pretty, little sounds," he spoke softly, his voice just above a whisper as he soaked in each sound that flowed through the speaker of his phone. "What are you thinking about while you touch yourself?" he grunted, biting the bottom of his lips briefly as the mental image of you in bed reaching your orgasm to the thought of his cock alone making him almost tremble and whimper himself.
Your fingers, although with a slight tremble, continued to dance against your clit. Rolling it softly in an attempt to pace yourself, but you were hungry for an orgasm and not only that; you were fucking tired. It wasn't like you wanted this to be over, it's just you weren't sure how long you could hold out for. His words fed your actions more as your whines and whimpers continued to flood helplessly through the phone. "I'm think-.." you interrupted yourself with a moan, "I'm thinking about how good you'd feel."
Those words send a shiver of delight down his spine and Toby was feeling too hungry to withdraw himself any longer. So, his hand wrapped around the length of his shaft and slowly he pumped at it. Each motion of his hand sending soft waves of pleasure to course through his bloodstream, a concealed grunt and groan which passed through his clenched teeth. He wasn't exactly a vocal person - though he had to be for the whole idea of phone sex to really work. "Ffuck-" he breathlessly moaned, his cock an aching mess with pre-cum already coating the tip of it; adding only a fraction of lubrication.
Toby's own mind was equally full of sinful thoughts, the idea of running is tongue up between your slit to suckle softly on your clit, or the idea of cumming all over that pretty face of yours. Admittedly, being a fucking murderer meant he didn't get many blissful nights of burying his cock deep in someone; so the thoughts accompanied with those sounds of yours were enough to nearly already make him cum. Stifling a moan with a lip pressed firmly against his upper teeth, he groaned a deep guttural growl.
"I need to feel you-" and a part of you cringed at how desperate you sounded, like whiny slut. Toby didn't mind, why would he? You sounded like a fucking pornstar and he knew it wouldn't be long until he was seeing stars and coating his knuckles in his warm, white liquids.
"Fuck, keep talking," he grunted as his hips bucked into his hand, almost helplessly fucking the palm of his hand. He could only imagine how fucking good your pussy would feel wrapped around him, how wet he would make you, how good he could make you feel. His command did things to you, the way he spoke through gritted teeth and there was a tightness forming not just in your lower abdomen, but in your thighs as well. For a brief moment, your fingers moved from your clit to your dripping cunt, coating your fingers to coat your clit in your wetness. You were torn, wanting to feel something inside you and wanting to give your clit attention; you'd cum either way regardless.
You began to mumble incoherent whimpers, praising him and uttering his name like sweet nothings; words dripping in poison that would intoxicate Toby more and more. Your grip on the phone began getting looser as you felt the warmth rush to your cheeks, your own hips rolling against your fingers in a desperate attempt to reach your orgasm.
"Toby- please make me cum, please-.." you cringed hearing yourself so squeezed your eyes shut. You could feel yourself sinking deeper and deeper into your pillow, a rush of blood creeping across your face and almost making your head spin.
Your words were the tipping point for Toby, and with one final grunt and thrust, stringy ropes shot up and out across his knuckles. "Nng- Ffuck-" he slurred on his own words, the warmth of his own cum sending shockwaves and ripples up his abdomen.
While Toby rolled out the end of his orgasm with some slow thrusts, you hadn't yet reached that phase as you helplessly humped your own fingers, breasts bouncing with each roll out that your hips gave. You were a desperate, panting mess as you tried to quieten and muffle each moan that dared to escape from you. Despite feeling satisfied himself, he knew he couldn't be a dick and leave you hanging on the edge of your orgasm - hell, he could though. Your moans were just good to miss however and quickly his focus returned to you as he came floating back down from his own high.
"The thing's I'd do to-to-… to you-" he choked out, surpassing a tic almost painfully. "I'd love to make you scream," he uttered, his voice lusty with a hint of something else. You hadn't noticed it at the time, but there was a sense of darkness that lingered in the back of his throat. His words having more meaning than a simple mission to get you to orgasm. Your head spun as the muscles in your thighs tightened, your hips bucking violently against your fingers as you reached the height of your own release. There were stars, a soft, long drawn out groan escaping deep within you as your hips continued to buck; a little softly as you rode out the very last of your orgasm. Your fingers rolled your clit until it became nothing but a sensitive bud, sending little jolts as you gasped, feeling sweaty against the mattress of your bed. The sound was music to his hears as he listened, the phone pressed so hard against his ear that for any other person it would've hurt.
"Fuck-" you gasped softly after each pant, allowing your body the time and space to recover.
"I'd love to bash your pretty, little head in with one of my hatchets."
And you felt your once steaming hot body turn into a cold flush, your breath hitching in the back of your throat. Had he really said that? Or was it more background noise from the horror film he was watching? Toby chuckled, it's friendliness vanishing in thin air before you as his demeanour became cold; uninviting. Your brows furrowed, too speechless to form a coherent thought. Was it just.. a kink thing? Was he.. fuck, like roleplaying or something? You were grasping at any explanation before you.
"What." Was all you could muster up, a measly whisper.
"I enjoyed talking to yo-ou. I'll be honest, never done this b-bb-before with most girls, I wooould've let you live… but work is work, you'll understand. Oh," he scoffed. "No, you won't but I'll see ya around, yeah?" And Toby hung up. Leaving you in a state of confusion.
Toby Rogers. Toby Rogers. You repeated it over again, sitting up on your elbow, brows furrowing and staring out into the darkness of your room. Toby Rogers - that name was on the news just the other week, you could've sworn it. The news anchor mentioning something about.. him murdering his Dad.. being a mass criminal.. and how he was still missing after all those years.
And you just had phone sex with him.
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sorry if this seems rushed, still trying to find my lingo when it comes to writing smut.
will be a bit mia for the next days, but asks are open (just may take a lil while for me to answer them.) i originally planned for this to be shorter, but i have this weird habit of where once i start writing, i legit cannot stop.
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talaok · 1 year ago
Text
The final jump
Pairing: Step-dad!Joel Miller x Step-daughter!reader
Summary: When your stepdad finds out you and your boyfriend haven't had sex yet, he tells you the reason is that you're a virgin, but thankfully... he can help with that.
Warnings: step-incest, manipulation, straight-out lying, hence dub-con, Perv!Joel, predatory behavior, very very naive and innocent reader |Smut| fingering, oral sex (f and m receiving), virginity loss, unprotected p in v sex, creampie, dacryphilia, and daddy-kink. Joel is a full-on perv in this one ok, don't say I didn't warn ya, 
a/n: this is wrong and weird and for the first time since i opened this blog, i actually doubted whether i should post something or not, but at the end of the day this is all fake and i do not condone in any way what's portrayed in this fic. And please for the love of god read the warnings and just scroll if you don't like what you see.
Pt. 2 - Pt. 3 - Pt. 4
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"c'mere" he instructed, pulling you into his lap like he always did when Mom wasn't around.
"there's nothing wrong with this" he had explained the first time it happened "Your mom just doesn't need to know about everything"
You nestled your head into the crook of his neck as you continued watching the movie, while his hands settled around your waist and onto your naked thigh.
He always made you wear skirts when you were alone, he even bought you some, and each time they got shorter. Once, you had asked him why, and as always, he had an explanation
"It's good for your skin, sweetheart, your legs need to breathe"
The one you were wearing right now, for example, a very cute baby pink one, barely covered your butt, which must have meant it was very healthy for your skin.
And then of course for the same exact reason, when Mom wasn't home, bras were banned, and you could only wear small tank tops, preferably very low cut and that let your stomach breathe.
You didn't mind the rules Joel had given you, you trusted him, and he knew what was better for you.
Plus, you would have been lying if you said you didn't like all the attention he gave you, even if it was just when you were alone. You loved how much he obviously cared about you, and you loved even more letting him take care of you.
You had never had a dad, unless you count the first three months of your life before your real dad decided to split, so now that you had such a good step-dad, you felt on top of the world, and even if you were 18, you didn't mind being taken care of like no dad ever had.
If he had offered to read you bedtime stories to get you to sleep, you would have probably accepted just to see what you had missed out on, that's how desperate you were.
You wrapped your hands around his neck, clinging to his warm self, and letting his scent wrap around you in the best way.
"You comfortable?" he asked, as his fingers gently drew patterns on your legs
"yes daddy"
Oh, that's right. Calling him daddy was another rule, if not the most important one.
"good" he said, kissing the crown of your head 
Ghostface appeared behind Tara on the screen, and you tightened your hold on him a little bit.
"You scared, babygirl?"
"'m not scared daddy, I've watched this movie like ten times" you giggled
"What a brave girl" he cooed "You're not scared of anything huh?"
"no 'm scared of lots of things daddy, just not horror movies"
"ah that's right" he murmured "You're still scared of spiders, aren't you pretty girl?"
"Well of course" you nodded "but I have you to get rid of them"
"of course you do" he smiled, pulling your legs closer to him by the back of your knees, and making you beam happily.
Your whole backside was exposed now, making you blush a little bit.
You knew there was nothing wrong with this, but you still felt a little insecure about showing so much of yourself to Joel.
He didn't seem to notice as his hand went right to the newly revealed skin.
His hands always felt good against you, in a way you had never quite experienced, they were so big... and so rough, and oh so warm. If you could, you'd let him touch you all day every day.
Suddenly, a ching ran through the room, startling you.
Joel's soft chuckle vibrated through his chest and into yours.
"Not scared huh?"
"I just wasn't expecting that" you whined, removing your hands from him to reach onto the coffee table.
You had to stretch your whole body to do that, giving Joel a full view of your white cotton panties, and what they were trying to cover.
If Joel's cock was hard before, it was now quickly reaching the painfully hard territory.
"Oh sweetie" he tutted, as you grabbed the phone.
"what?" you asked, a tint of panic in your tone.
"it's just these panties..." he trailed off, as his fingers reached for them "This fabric is not good for you darlin'"
"These too?" you asked, a tad disappointed.
It seemed none of the panties you owned were ever good for your skin.
"Yes babygirl," he shook his head "here, let me help you, I'll take them off for you" he said, starting to gently drag them down your legs.
"but daddy-"
"what?" he stopped "I'm just looking out for you sugar, I just want you to be real healthy"
"A-alright" you nodded "I-if you say so"
"There's no need to be shy, babygirl, I'm your daddy, I only do what's best for you" he promised, tugging your underwear until they pooled at your knees.
Joel had to bite down a groan at the sight of your perfect little pussy.
"I know," you said, swallowing slowly 
"Tell you what," he spoke, "I think it's best from now on if you just don't wear any panties when we're alone alright?"
"Sure daddy" you agreed "Can I sit back down now?"
"Of course" he urged, bringing you back into his lap, and slowly taking off your panties completely.
You checked your phone to see who had texted you, already forgetting about what had just happened, when Joel noticed something as he inspected your pretty little panties.
"These are wet babygirl," he said, holding them up for you to see.
your cheeks flushed a little bit as you looked up from your phone.
"Is-Is that bad?"
What if the fabric of your panties was so bad that it made you sick?
You hated being sick
The expression on his face was unreadable, he was looking at you differently.
"Does this happen to you a lot?" he asked, ignoring your question
"O-only sometimes...when I'm with you" you whispered "A-am I sick daddy?"
And then he did the last thing you were expecting, he smiled "no" he shook his head "You're not sick sweetie"
"oh" you breathed, relieved "then what is it?"
"It jus' means you like spendin' time with me a lot"
"Well of course I do" you giggled, looking back at your phone.
Joel watched you for a moment more, your face so innocent... too pretty for your own good, before pocketing the panties to add to his collection.
He didn't understand how you still hadn't noticed half your underwear had disappeared from its drawer.
"who was it?" he asked, once he had placed his hands on your ass, and on your inner thigh, feeling the warmth of your core closer and closer to his fingers.
"Just Chad" you answered "he's asking if I can hang out with him tomorrow night"
"mh" he considered.
He never liked Chad much
"This Chad" he started "he's good to you right?"
"Yes daddy" you stifled a laugh "You don't have to ask me every time I bring him up"
"Jus' wanna make sure" he shrugged "You're being safe and everything?"
"what do you mean?" you frowned "I don't think there's anything risky about going out to eat once in a while"
"now that's not what I meant babygirl" he smirked 
"oh" you breathed "what did you mean then?"
"I meant to ask if you're usin' protection"
"Protection?" your frown just deepened.
You lived in Austin Texas, not the Wild West, protection from what, mosquitoes?
"Yeah protection, sugar" he nodded
"From what?" you asked, more confused than ever.
"oh baby girl" he laughed softly, leaning back onto the couch "condoms. You use condoms?"
And in an instant, your face had turned red.
"Oh, I- We- I haven't- we didn't-" 
That's all you could muster from your flustered state.
Joel's amusement left his face in a second to make space for something... else.
He had prompted this subject just to see you all embarrassed, and hear you talk about what he dreamed of doing every night with you, but this... this had just gotten interesting.
"you haven't done it?" he asked
It took a moment before you finally managed to shake your head no.
His grip on your thigh got tighter
"why's that?"
Your teeth let go of your bottom lip so you could respond.
"I-I don't know"
All it took was another look at you, at your big blown-out eyes, at your red cheeks, and it all came together.
"sweetheart," he said gently "are you a virgin?"
Your forehead creased again in puzzlement.
"w-what's that?"
His lips pulled into a smirk, and you watched each muscle on his face with curiosity.
"Oh baby" he smiled "I mean have you ever had sex?"
Your chest was rising and falling so quickly that you wondered how long it would take for you to hyperventilate.
The redness of your skin had now spread to your ears and neck too.
"I-I" you mumbled, avoiding his eyes
"Sweetie" he cooed, gently guiding your face to look up at him "You can tell me"
You gulped, looking into his hazel eyes.
Oh, how stupid you were being. Of course you can tell daddy.
"No" you slowly shook your head.
"Ah" he hummed "then that's why"
"That's why what?" you asked
Now, a good man would have stopped there, a good man would have dropped this right there... but good men didn't fantasize about their step-daughters, good men didn't come up with rules to watch them walk around the house half naked, good men didn't pull their panties down just to catch a glimpse of what they'd been dreaming of for months, and Joel, well Joel was already going to hell, so why not make the final jump.
"That's why Chad hasn't had sex with you"
"W-what?"
He wet his lips, not thinking about anything else but how good that pretty cunt of yours must feel around his cock.
"No guy wants to be a girl's first, babygirl" he murmured, stroking your cheek.
"Really?" your eyes widened at the realization "but- why?"
"lots of reasons sweetie" he explained "girls tend to... get attached"
"oh" your perfect mouth created the cutest little o
"yeah baby" he nodded "I'm sorry"
Your eyes were starting to water, and your throat was getting clogged up
"but then... who's ever gonna want to make love to me?"
make love? god you were so innocent
"you want Chad to make love to you, pretty girl?"
You were pouting so cutely Joel's heart was starting to break a little bit.
"I mean- maybe... I don't know" you murmured, tears falling from your eyes now "but he's never gonna want to now!" you sobbed
He wiped away your tears with his thumb before bringing you closer to his chest, giving you a big tight hug.
"It's ok sugar, shh" he calmed you down.
"H-how is he ever gonna want to make love to me?" you asked, raising your doe eyes to him.
And there it was, his free pass to the flames of hell.
"Well, there is a way," he said gently
"W-what?" you stumbled over your words
"I could help you out" he spoke
"H-how?"
His eyes darted from your watery eyes to your pretty pink mouth.
"I could be your first"
Your heart missed a beat.
"Y-you?"
"Yeah sweetheart, that way you can tell Chad you're not a virgin, and he'll for sure want to make love to you "
Your eyes sparked up
"Really?" you beamed "Y-you'd do that for me?"
"Of course" he promised, "What else are daddies for?"
"Oh thank you, daddy!" You threw your arms around him to hug him like your life depended on it "You're the best"
He grinned into your hair, thanking every existing being for having granted him such a gift: you.
"oh sweetheart, trust me it's you who's the best" he murmured.
You leaned away, a smile from ear to ear plastered on your face "So-uhm- How does this work?"
He smiled at your eagerness
"Well, first of all, we gotta get on a bed" he explained "so wrap your arms and legs around me and hold on tight baby girl"
"Like this?" you asked, after obliging
"Perfect" he nodded before standing up from the couch.
A soft whimper fled your mouth as he made you bounce a little bit to set you better on his body.
"Calm down sweetie, I'm here" he cooed, starting to walk up the stairs, and before you realized, you were in your room.
"why didn't we go to your room?" you wondered aloud
"I just like yours better" he dismissed your question as he settled you on the bed.
You looked around the walls and posters and floor you knew so well and then back at him.
You didn't think he'd ever been in here before, and it was such a weird image.
he looked so out of place in such a girly space.
"and now?" you asked, looking up at him expectantly.
He smirked "Now we take off these pretty clothes of yours"
"O-oh, alright" you nodded, watching as he kneeled in front of you.
His hands went to your tank top first, slowly seeping underneath it before taking it off of you.
A small groan left his throat, and you observed how his eyes focused on your breasts.
"I-is there something wrong?" 
"No, sweetie, I'm just real happy to help you, 's all"
You smiled cheerfully at that.
He was always so nice.
"Now we gotta take off this skirt" he explained, gently pulling it down for you until it pooled at your feet.
You didn’t think you'd ever seen Joel smile so wide.
"Good God baby girl" he breathed, taking each and every inch of you in like you were a piece of art in a museum "You're real pretty, you know that?"
Your cheeks reddened as your lips pulled into a shy smile.
"T-thank you" you mumbled
He stroked your thighs a little, but way too soon he was standing up.
He reached into his back pocket for something, and a moment later his phone was in his hand.
You watched as he swiped somewhere on the screen and then took a step back to make sure the camera didn't miss any part of you.
"What are you doing?" you asked, curious more than anything.
"Takin' some pictures"
"Oh," you murmured "W-why?"
"Don't worry baby, 's just me" he reassured you, now stepping closer to you again to caress your cheek softly, making you forget all about your worries.
"Do you think you could pose for me a little?"
"sure" you nodded, wanting to please him however you could.
"Such a good girl" he praised more to himself "Lay down for me mh?"
You immediately did, scooting more onto the bed and resting your back on the mattress.
"Spread your legs now" he instructed, loving the way you so easily obeyed.
You heard a soft click as he took another picture from right between your legs.
"Very good" he said "Now smile a lil', show me how happy you are Daddy's helping you out" 
You did of course, and this time he moved his phone a little upward so your face was more in the frame.
"now c'mere again" he said, urging you with two of his fingers.
You sat at the edge of the bed, right in front of him.
"so obedient..." he smirked, as he stroked your cheek "suck on my fingers sweetie" he ordered, slowly pushing his index and middle finger past your lips.
You were very very confused about this pose, but chose not to question it.
"Look at me" he instructed, and you watched his grin widen as he took the photo.
"You did real good honey" he spoke, placing his phone on your nightstand.
"Thank you daddy" you beamed, as he kneeled before you again.
A question came to you while he did
"Is Chad gonna take pictures too?" 
A tint of jealousy flashed behind his eyes
"No," he said firmly "and if he tries, you take his phone and throw it away, ok?"
"O-ok" you nodded.
"Now" he seemed to get back to himself "How 'bout you lay down and let me take care of you?"
"S-sure" you stuttered, lying down again.
You raised your head to look at him as he slowly spread your legs.
You felt very much on display, but you weren't embarrassed, you knew Joel only had good intentions.
Suddenly, he bent down to kiss you right on your mound.
You let out a gasp
He looked up at you, a devilish smile plaster on his face as his lips traveled lower, now finding your clit.
"Daddy!" you gasped again.
"what is it baby girl, it don't feel good?"
"N-no it just feels..."
You honestly had no idea how to describe how it felt.
"How?" he insisted
"tingly" you murmured
He smirked, kissing your clit again just to taunt you
"That's good baby" he explained "It means you're enjoying this"
"Oh- really?" you asked, wide-eyed 
"Really" he confirmed, before abruptly licking a long stripe of your pussy, and forcing your gasp to soon convert into a moan.
Oh, he definitely liked hearing that.
And the moment he decided on that, he started quite literally devouring your cunt, feeding off of it like it was the source of eternal youth.
"Oh my god" you started chanting in a high pitch, as your legs got a life of their own at the feeling.
You were losing yourself in the feeling when, suddenly, you felt something probing at your... entrance, and you whimpered in surprise.
"Daddy, what are you doing?" you asked, as your hands grabbed the covers for something to hold onto.
He fought the urge to ignore you and do what needed to be done.
"Imma put a finger inside of you now ok?" he explained as sweetly as he could, desperately trying to hide his frustration.
His cock was begging for some sort of relief, and you were only slowing him down.
"a-a finger?" you breathed "W-why?"
"Because I need to make sure this pretty little pussy of yours can take all of daddy"
You scrunched your nose, making a face
"What?" he asked
"I don't like that word"
"What word?" he asked "pussy?"
"mh-mh" you nodded
He couldn't help but laugh a little "What would you rather I call it?" he murmured mockingly,(only of course you didn't realize) "Your tootie?"
"I'm not a kid" you giggled " I haven't called it that since I was-"
Your words died in your throat once his middle finger plunged into your heat.
Your mouth parted in shock, but no sound came out.
"real good sweetie" he praised you, bending down again to suck on your bud, as he started moving his finger in and out of you.
"Daddy!" you cried, at the feeling
"I know, I know" his tone was loaded with false empathy "Now stay still for me alright?"
But before you had time to ask why, another one of his fingers had made its way inside of you.
"Daddy wha-" your own sentence was interrupted by a moan "You said you were gonna put only one finger in!" you protested
"I know baby girl" he whispered against your heat, sending a shiver up your spine "but I know what's best for you, don't I?"
Of course he did
"mh-mh" you nodded
"Good girl" he praised, not missing the way your walls tightened around him at the praise "How does it feel?"
"I-it hurts a little" you winced, 
"mh" he considered "that's because no one had touched you down here before" he spoke in between licks to your clit "Not even yourself right?"
"n-no" you answered in a breathy whisper.
"good," he said mostly to himself "And how does it feel now?" he asked, curling his fingers into your g-spot.
Your back arched from the bed
"b-better" 
He kept doing that, making you gasp and squirm under him until...
"and how 'bout now?"
A third finger intruded your hole, making you cry out so loud the neighbors probably heard.
"daddy!" you whined as your eyes watered "T-that hurt, why would you do that?"
"oh sweetie... I needed to do that" he cooed, watching your pussy struggling to stretch around his fingers "If you wanna take daddy's cock you need to be able to take three of my fingers at least"
"t-that's a lot" you sobbed
"Oh I know" he murmured "but you did it like a good girl" he kissed your clit as a reward, "Now all you gotta do is relax and come around daddy's fingers"
"b-but I've never done that, I-I don't know how to-"
"shh" he shushed you, moving his fingers inside your warm cunt as he leaned down again to put his tongue to use "Just relax for me sweetie"
And so you did, you closed your eyes and fell back onto the bed as you tried adjusting to his fingers and the feeling they were bringing with them.
You had no idea what was happening to you, you'd heard some of your friends talk about sex, and you did a few lessons in sex ed, but you never really got it... and this was very different from what you were expecting.
Joel's hands were gripping your thighs to keep your legs apart, and when he curled his fingers inside of you again, a pang of pure pleasure took over you, and as a deep moan left your mouth, your left hand got a life of its own and found Joel's hair, gripping it tightly.
He groaned into your cunt and a strange feeling started pooling down your belly.
"Oh god" you whimpered "Daddy- I-"
He started going even faster, the squelching of his fingers plunging into your core filling the whole room as you cried out louder and louder.
"I-I think it's h-happening" you breathed "W-what do I do?" you moaned "D-daddy?"
He was lost in the thought of how good your walls were gonna feel as they tightened around his cock instead of his fingers, but as you cried again, he came back to earth.
"Let go sweetheart" he urged, watching your face contort in all sorts of expressions and bashing in the knowledge that it was him who was provoking them "Be a good girl and come for daddy"
And with that, your eyes snapped open to glimpse at him before every cell in your being exploded and rearranged itself inside of you as you came.
"You did good" he spoke as you tried calming your breathing "you did real good baby" he nodded, as he took his fingers out of you and stared at your pussy like it was a piece of art.
"t-thank you" You gave him a shy smile, as your hands dropped to your sides.
"but now you're gonna have to do even better" he started, as he got up "Can you do that for me? Can you be good?" he asked, as he took off his t-shirt and started undoing his pants.
A tint of fear made its way into your excitement, but you didn't let it show.
"Of course Daddy" you eagerly answered "I'll be good"
"you sure?" he arched his brow as his pants fell to his feet and all that remained on his body was a black pair of boxers with a very big tent probing in the front.
"I-I'm sure" you nodded "I'll be good for you"
"good" his lips pulled into a proud line and then finally, he took his boxers off, and an involuntary little gasp came out of your mouth.
"it's nothing to be scared off sweetheart" he chuckled "Here, why don't you touch it"
You gulped as you raised yourself into a seated position, coming eye-to-eye with his scarily big penis.
You looked up at him for approval and he he offered you an encouraging nod, so you slowly raised your index finger, and gently pressed it again his red tip.
You let your finger graze his whole length, feeling every vein and curve of his manhood, and before you could do it again his voice interrupted.
"don't be scared, wrap your hand around it" he urged, watching as you slowly obeyed "Jus' like that" he said, his voice deeper now "go up and down now" 
you did, and you were fascinated by the feeling of his dick twitching in your palm and his skin rubbing against yours.
One of his hands reached the back of your head impatiently as you admired his length, urging you closer.
"use your mouth baby" he breathed heavily.
You slowly leaned closer and met your lips with his tip, leaving a little kiss on it.
He couldn't help but chuckle "Open it, sweetie," he said, looking down at you as you abided "Stick your tongue out for me" 
You did, and before you knew it, his penis was filling your mouth.
"Now suck" 
You hollowed your cheeks as best as you could and suddenly, his hand in your hair started guiding more and more of him into your mouth, until his tip hit the back of your throat and you gagged loudly as a tear ran down your cheek.
"that all you can take?" he watched you "We're gonna have to work on that, 'm not even halfway in baby" he smirked to himself, before retracting his hips and leaving your mouth empty.
Before you had the time to ask what he meant by that, he'd already given you another order.
"lay down"
You found your initial position again, and in a moment, he had grabbed your hips and pulled you closer to the edge of the bed.
One of his hands was gripping his dick as he looked right in your eyes 
"Stay still" 
that's all he said, before he started pushing his huge cock into you.
"Ah!" You cried as you felt your hole stretch and burn and hurt all at the same time.
"Shhh" he shushed you, not listening as he continued to push.
"d--daddy it hurts"
"It's supposed to hurt" he lied "Now relax"
And you tried, you really tried, but once another inch of him invaded you, you moved away, or at least, tried to, since his hands started gripping you tighter, giving you no chance to move.
"I told you to stay still" he sounded angry, and you didn't want daddy to be angry, but it hurt so much.
Tears pooled in your eyes and your voice broke as you spoke.
"I-I'm sorry Daddy" a sob climbed up your throat "b-but it's too big"
I don't give a fuck if it hurts, just stay still, he thought, but of course, he couldn't say that.
"Daddy's just tryna help you baby" he cooed "Do you want Chad to make love to you?" he asked, earning a nod from you "Then you have to stop moving and let me put my cock inside of you, ok?"
You sniffled as other tears fell from your eyes "O-ok"
He pushed inside of you again and your cries only got more pathetic.
now if it were up to him he would have already forced his cock inside of you, ignoring your whines and enjoying seeing you cry from how big he was but... if he ever wanted this to happen again, he needed to be gentle with you unfortunately.
"here" he said, pushing his thumb past your lips "suck on it sweetie, that 'll calm you down"
You did as told, and even if it still hurt like hell, it did take your mind off of it a little.
"we're almost there" he promised, watching you take more and more of his cock "Just a little more and-" 
"Good God" he breathed, taking a moment to memorize every inch of your walls and the way they felt around him.
"you feel so fucking good baby" he groaned, his head falling to his chest a moment at the feeling.
You felt better than he could have ever fucking imagined.
"I'm gonna start moving now"
He retracted his hips and noticed with a sick enjoyment the blood covering his dick before thrusting into you so harshly that even if your mouth was busy, the cry you let out could be heard perfectly.
"such a crybaby" he cooed, thrusting into you particularly harshly just to hear you cry again for him.
He watched the tears fall from your eyes as he started finding his pace.
And slowly, oh so slowly, you started adjusting, and from the pain, came the pleasure, pleasure so strong it felt like it could kill you.
"fuck you're tight" he grunted, "look at you" his eyes alternated between your eyes and where your body met his "Taking all of daddy's cock so well" he groaned "Being so good" he hissed, as he fastened his pace "fuck-tell me how it feels baby, tell me how good daddy's making you feel"
His thumb left your mouth and a brutal moan left it with it.
"tell me" he urged you again, gripping your waist.
"'s so good" you whimpered while gripping the sheets "You feel so good, Daddy"  
"yeah?" he smirked, as a drop of sweat trailed his forehead 
"yes Daddy" you promised before one of his hands found your core and started circling your clit.
"Daddy!" you cried
"what is it baby, 's too much?"
"mh-mh" you nodded as your eyes threatened to spill again 
"it's ok, daddy's here" he cooed, "you trust me, don't you?"
"I-I do"
"then relax"
You swallowed thickly and you did as told, trying to calm your racing heart as your breathing got more and more ragged.
"daddy?" you whimpered, looking up at him with doe eyes
"yeah, sweetheart?"
"could you... could you kiss me please?" 
A smug smirk pulled at his lips "You want me to kiss you?"
"Yes please"
"you sure?"
"yes, daddy please!" you begged now, more desperate, and before you knew it, he'd bent down and his lips were on yours while his tongue was in your mouth.
He let out a low groan at how fucking heavenly you felt, while you tasted all of him like you were starving.
He was such a good kisser...
And right as he pulled away and whispered "fuck you're perfect" the same feeling that he'd given you with his fingers erupted all over again.
A low chant of daddy left your mouth and as you squeezed him so fucking good and so fucking tight Joel couldn't do anything but follows suit, emptying his balls inside your tight cunt and ruining you definitively.
Fuck it, he was gonna buy you a plan B tomorrow, and if that didn't work he'd just blame it on Chad.
"Jesus" he muttered, as he pulled out and fell next to you on the bed.
Both your chests were rising and falling way too quickly.
You turned to him, and when he noticed, he did the same.
"thank you so much daddy" you murmured, nestling closer to him and kissing his cheek.
"no worries baby" he smiled, putting an arm around you to keep you closer as he kissed your forehead "You did good"
"thank you" you blushed
"but y'know..." he cocked an eyebrow "guys like girls with a little experience"
"Really?" you asked, wide-eyed
"yes sweetheart" he nodded "So before you make love with Chad, I think it's best if we practice for a bit, what do you say?"
Your eyes found his, and all you could see in them was the perfect stepdad, helping you in any way he could.
"I'd like that, thank you so much, daddy"
Pt. 2 - Pt. 3 - Pt. 4
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gyeomsweetgyeom · 3 months ago
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⋆⭒˚.⋆ I like(?) Haechan ⋆⭒˚.⋆
summary: you and Haechan are too close and Jaehyun finally admits that he’s just a tiny bit jealous
(cw: f!reader, cursing, alcohol consumption, relationship insecurities)
Fratboy!Jaehyun never in his life ever thought that there would even be the fraction of a chance that there would ever be the possibility that he would ever- not in this life, or the next, or even his past lives- that he would EVER be jealous of Lee Haechan. But as he stood in Haechan's doorway, staring at his girlfriend, his fucking sweetheart in Haechan's bed, he started to think that the green eyed monster had finally successfully possessed him.
It hadn't started off like this and he can admit that this situation he's glaring at half asleep is all his fault, but there are events that led up to this envious possession.
The first time he had felt a little weird about you and Haechan was the first time you came over as his official girlfriend and immediately came in to hug Haechan before you even hugged Jaehyun, you know, your boyfriend. You had a bright, excited smile as you ran right past Taeyong, who had so kindly answered the door, and pulled Haechan into your embrace. Jaehyun shook it off because as soon as you were done with Haechan you were in Jaehyun's lap covering his face with kisses.
Then there was a party that had gone on far too long. Yes, Jaehyun is proud, they partied until like 5 in the morning, like, fuck, come on! That was a frat record! And sure yes, Jaehyun had been a little drunk (very drunk) (totally Johnny's fault) when he looked over and saw you, all buzzed and tired and cuddly on the couch, tilting over sleepily until your head was resting on Haechan's shoulder. Haechan didn't flinch, didn't act surprised, simply laid his head on top of yours and fell asleep too.
Then it just seemed to be a lot of little instances that jumped out in Jaehyun's mind now at 2 in the morning. Now, he's starting to hate the way that Haechan only posts a story for Jaehyun's birthday, but you get a post on the grid and multiple stories throughout the year? Jaehyun hates the way that you and Haechan have inside jokes and refuse to explain them to him.
And right now he fucking abhors that you are sleeping in Haechan's bed! Like ok, yes, Jaehyun did take a couple gummy melatonin vitamins so he was sleeping extra deeply, and yes, he did accidentally kick you off the bed shortly after he accidentally elbowed you in the nose, but did you have to go to Haechan's room? Well, not only that but also sleep in his bed-- with him there?!
Jaehyun trudged over to the bed and begins to shake you like there's a fire in the house and you need to wake up now! You wake up with a gasp, eyes flying open while you look around for the disaster. Instead, you find Jaehyun standing there with a frown on his face and his arms crossed.
"What's happening?" You ask in that cute, groggy voice of yours.
"You're not in my bed."
"Baby," you sigh, laying down again, "you elbowed me in the nose and kicked me off the bed. I'm tired and I want to sleep."
"You're sleeping with Haechan."
"I'm sleeping next to him. He runs hot and I have my warm pajamas on tonight."
Jaehyun hates that you know Haechan runs hot when he sleeps. Jaehyun groans under his breath and tugs on your hand, "come back to bed."
"Fine, but if you kick me off the bed again, I'm not going to anyone else's room, I'm going home," you huff as you throw the covers off. Haechan remains deeply asleep, none the wiser to what's happening around him.
Back in Jaehyun's bed, he has you embraced so tightly against his chest that your ear is starting to hurt against his muscular chest. The house is silent, probably as quiet as you've ever heard it, but you can practically hear the cogs in his brain whirring and it's driving you crazy. "What's wrong?" you ask softly.
Jaehyun wants to say how well you know him, but in reality, it's one of the things he loves most about you. "I don't want this to become anything bigger than it is, but... god! I think--I think I'm jealous of Haechan," Jaehyun shyly breathes out. Great, it's out there, one of his biggest insecurities is out in the universe.
You pop your head up, your chin resting on his chest as you look into his eyes with a cute furrow of your brow, "Jealous of Haechan?"
Jaehyun runs a hand down his face, how can he best say this? How can he phrase this so he doesn't sound like an insecure, jealous little boy? "Maybe... I'm just jealous of how-- how close the two of you are. I just-- all the little things you guys do with each other like throw me off. Like posting each other all the time, sharing a bed, falling asleep on each other and he cuddles you! You kiss his cheeks and he tells you things he would never tell me!"
Your thumb rubs away at the line between his brows with a soft gentleness that immediately has Jaehyun calming down. He loves the way you know him. You smile at him softly, "I want you to know that there is no way Haechan would ever come between the two of us, ever. I have a soft spot for him, yeah. In some ways he's like a younger brother and in other ways he's one of my girlfriends. What I do with him isn't anything I wouldn't do with Ari or Kira. He's even told me I've gotten too comfortable talking about my periods with him, he hates that."
Jaehyun laughs softly at that and you smile back, continuing, "I think, maybe... just maybe... you might be a little jealous that Haechan isn't as open with you?"
Jaehyun guffaws, his mouth literally drops open, "I don't want that little shit bag close to me in any way! Having him in the same frat is already too close!"
"Think about it, baby, you don't have siblings, but you have your brothers here. Haechan is about as 'younger brother' as they come and you're getting the full experience. I think that you're maybe feeling a little hurt or frustrated that you don't have as deep a connection with him as you'd like. Which I totally get, he grows on you kind of like eczema, so annoying at first and then you just grow to get used to it and handle it the best way you've learned," you explain, ending it all with a yawn.
Again, deep, deep, deep, deep... deep down Jaehyun knows you're right. You know him probably better than anyone on the face of the planet. Right now, he's not ready to admit that he wants to treat Haechan like a real brother.
"I kind of hate when you use your three semesters of psychology on me," Jaehyun tells you, rubbing a lulling hand up and down your back.
"It has to pay off somehow, right? But hey, your secret is safe with me."
"Yeah, I think I'd rather rush Alpha Sig than ever admit I want to be close with... gah! I can't even say it!" Jaehyun exclaims with an over exaggerated shudder.
"Be nice, you love him a little bit," you respond as your eyes finally start falling shut again.
"Like him a little bit, more like,"Jaehyun grumbles before closing his own eyes with the hope that when he wakes up this will all be a nightmare.
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