#he's constantly surprised by the attention to detail and the clear research that was put into the story

[pancake-breakfast]

Got up to episode 8 of Banana Fish with my brother. All through the four episodes we watched, my brother kept talking about how much he adores Shorter, which is a sentiment I can agree with. I also adore Shorter. He's this wonderful balance between laid back and seriously able to fuck shit up. He cares about people around him, but unlike Ash isn't as prone to letting his emotions get the better of him, and makes for a good older brother/mentor figure for both Ash and Eiji.

But I've seen this show before and I should have known how this path would go as soon as I realized Shorter was my favorite character. I was very, very good and didn't even hint to my brother at what's in store for Shorter in episode 9. So I guess next week we'll get to deal with that. Joy.

[troll-for-initiative]

Of Black Flags and Devil Birds

Of Black Flags and Devil Birds by Christopher Robertson is a wildly imaginative blend of prehistoric creatures and swashbuckling adventurers that delivers a unique premise sure to capture the interest of readers looking for something truly out of the ordinary - it certainly captured me that way. Robertson deserves praise for the sheer creativity of the setting—a world where time itself seems to unravel (quite literally), allowing dinosaurs to roam on an island alongside pirates and cannibals. This inventive backdrop is where the book truly shines, offering a fresh take on both genres and presenting an endless array of possibilities for action and intrigue.

I appreciate the historical accuracy in depicting pirate life. Robertson clearly put in the effort to research the period, seamlessly incorporating details about pirate culture, seafaring practices, and even the nuances of pirate codes and governance - and their dialect (more on that in a bit). The dinosaurs, while obviously a work of fiction due to time travel shenanigans, are described with a surprising amount of detail. Many people would opt for the Jurassic Park lizards instead of the more accurate chicken references, so I'm a massive fan of the rather accurate term of "the devil's own chicken" when faced with a raptor. Yay for feathers!

However, despite these strong points, this book stumbles when it comes to execution, particularly in the writing style and narrative structure. One of the most glaring issues is the overwhelming use of written-out dialects. While dialects can add authenticity and flavor to characters, in this case, they’re overdone to the point of distraction. Many characters speak in such heavy dialects that it becomes a chore to decipher their dialogue, breaking the immersion and making it difficult to follow the story. This choice might have been intended to enhance the atmosphere, but it ultimately detracts from the reading experience, turning what could be an engaging tale into a frustrating exercise in translation. The little vocab list at the end of the book does nothing to help with this. The amount of times not even context told me what Bucky was saying...

Another major flaw is the rapid shift in perspectives between the vast cast of characters. The number of perspectives wasn't so much the problem here, but the constant back and forth sometimes without even a hint of a shift in the same chapter. I had to take more than one double take to figure out in whose head I am. It results in a chaotic and disjointed narrative. Just as you begin to settle into one character’s story, the focus abruptly shifts to another, often without clear transitions. This constant bouncing between perspectives not only disrupts the flow but also makes it challenging to develop a strong connection with any one character. I was only interested in the villain of the story but not because I had time to settle with him. I liked him because he did the most badass things. Rooting for the british admiral in a pirate story? Whoops.

Let's speak about plot, or rather the lack thereof, the book seems to suffer from a case of too much going on and yet not enough direction. The concept of pirates and dinosaurs colliding in a time-bending adventure is fantastic, but the narrative lacks a clear, cohesive plot to anchor all the action. Instead, the story meanders through various set pieces and character interactions without ever building towards a satisfying climax or resolution. The result is a series of entertaining moments that never quite come together to form a compelling whole. Just like the cast, who is constantly splitting up so we can see more set pieces and more dinosaurs in this pirate story.

In summary, Of Black Flags and Devil Birds is a book with an exceptional premise and impressive attention to historical detail, but it’s hampered by excessive dialects, erratic shifts in perspective, and a weak, unfocused plot. It’s a novel that might appeal to readers who are willing to wade through its flaws to enjoy the unique setting, but for me personally, these issues proved too frustrating to overlook.

[dreamescapeswriting]

The Best Life ~ HJS [Request]

WORD COUNT: 3.3K

GENRE: arranged marriage AU, toxic family, 

PAIRING: Jisung x Reader

A/N: I am far from the Angst queen but I hope you enjoy this sweetie

All your life things had been planned out for you, from the moment you could walk everything was set in stone by your family and you weren't in control of anything around you. From the way, you wore your hair your clothes, when you could speak and what you could do with your life. There was no control for you, the only control you had was when you could go to the bathroom and even that was timed sometimes by your family members. It seemed as though everyone else was in charge of your life while you sat there and watched everything happening around you like some kind of television show so when it came to an arranged marriage there were no surprises to you. It was only a matter of time until your family decided who you would marry and now it was that time, they'd arranged for you to marry someone called Han Jisung and that was all you knew about him, well that was all your family thought you knew about him but you'd done your research and snooped around as much as you could.

Apart from being one of the richest families in Seoul, there wasn't much to Han Jisung besides a few stories about who he was sleeping with, going to parties with and who he was friends with. It seemed as though he led a free life, something you were jealous of but if marrying him meant you even got half as much as his freedom you would take him in a heartbeat. 

"Are you sure this is the one?" Your sister's nasal-toned voice asked as you stood in the dressing room, the day before your wedding and you were trying on a brand new dress because the first one wasn't "right". Meaning that because you had been the one to pick it that it wasn't good at all. It was the way it always worked. 

"I'm sure of it, I picked it out myself." Your mother said proudly as you looked at yourself in the mirror, it was a beautiful gown but you were never going to admit to liking it. Liking it meant that they would take it away from you, you weren't allowed to have the things you liked in life. 

"Come out Y/n, not all of us have all day." Your mother barked as you glanced over your shoulder at the lady who had helped you get dressed that day she looked just as worried as you did about your mother but this was nothing new to you. Having her decide your every thought and action was nothing new so the fact that she was deciding your wedding dress was acceptable. Taking one last look at yourself you ran your hand down the ballgown and smiled to yourself.  It was a strapless bodice with a plunging necklace, tulle covering everything that needed to be cover and the top looked as though it was a corset. It had white and ivory beading around it to make it look more detailed and the fabrics were a mixture of lazy tulle and Royal organza. Thin layers of lace ranged from the bodice and extended of your hips and sides of the wedding gown, it was ultra-lightweight which meant it was going to be easy for you to walk down the aisle in. Tripping was one less thing you had to worry about. 

Stepping out from the curtain you kept your expression blank and your mouth shut as you stepped in front of your mother and sister waiting for them to say something. In your life, it was spoken when spoken to and never say something unless they've asked for you to say something first. 

"Turn," Your sister barked at you following in her mother's footsteps of giving you orders, you did a small and slow turn waiting for their input before you hear a sniffle coming from your mum. You glanced at her without saying a word knowing that if you even so much as tried to ask what was wrong the blame would be passed onto you.

"It's the perfect gown," She blew her nose into tissue as your sister hugged her from the side, the two of them crying together. 

"She does look beautiful," Your whole body tensed as you heard the bridal worker mention that you were beautiful or even acknowledge that you were the one in the gown, you stared at her with your eyes widened in fear but not for yourself, for her.

"You should be the one in the dress mum, not her but tomorrow will be perfect I promise," You let out a sigh of relief as your sister and mother seemed to ignore the worker's comment. The wedding wasn't about you, it was never going to be about you, it was about your mother and what her wedding should have been. It was the reason the venue had changed almost six times, why your dress was changed around twenty and why the groom was someone your mother picked. It was all about her, never about you. 

"Change. We have the rehearsal dinner in an hour." Your mother snapped as she looked up at you, your stomach growled at the mere thought of food. She'd had you on this crazy diet regime since she found out when the wedding was going to be, she wanted you to look the best of the best.

"Don't even think about it. You'll be having a salad and a drink, that's all you're allowed!" Without another word you walked back behind the curtain waiting for the worker to come and undo the buttons at the back of the dress.

"She seems strict," She whispered to you as soon as the curtain was pulled closed, your eyes stared up into hers in the mirror debating if you could speak without your mother hearing you but you just nodded at her before staring down at the floor. It was better safe than sorry.

Jisung stared at you as he watched you staring down at the plate in front of you, you hadn't said a word to him since arriving at the restaurant and it was beginning to bug him. Normally the girl he was seeing would be talking his ear off trying to get to know every little thing about him and his family but you didn't seem to care.

"I heard you got another wedding dress today, is this one finally "the one"?" Your father in law was just trying to make some light-hearted conversation but Jisung rolled his eyes at the mention of yet another dress. It wasn't your family's money that you were wasting trying on all the different dresses and playing dress-up with all he could think about was how you were using them for his money. Glancing to your mother to see if you had permission to speak you smiled weakly, 

"Yes, the perfect dress for tomorrow.” It wasn’t a lie, it truly was the perfect dress something you would have picked out for yourself given you had the choice in your life. 

“Better be, for the price of it,” Jisung grumbled loud enough for only you to hear, you glanced at him wondering what had gotten his panties in a bunch but he shot you a glare. There was no secret that Jisung had a strong disliking for you but from what your family put him through you didn't blame him, constantly spending his money, changing everything around the wedding and hardly speaking when he was around.

“What’s the point in buying all of the different dresses if none of them was right for you?” He questioned as soon his father began talking with your mother about church arrangements, you looked down at the glass of water in front of you it wasn't like he would understand if you told him or even believe you. 

“A girl has to be sure," You lied speaking in just below a whisper just in case your mother had started paying attention, she'd made a rule of not speaking until she gave you permission. As soon as you and Jisung were married you could do whatever it was you wanted, speak whenever you wanted since having a divorce wasn't going to be an option. She didn't care if you messed things up after the wedding, it was before that she cared about. The wedding was for them, they needed the money and you out of their hair, it was all a convenience for them. Your heart sank inside of you as you caught your sister watching you from across the table, her husband mumbled something about you speaking without permission, it appeared everyone was included in giving you orders. You stared down at the table and began sipping on the water, poking at the salad in front of you and waiting for the whole evening to be over but it seemed to be dragging on. 

"Have you written your own vows or are you going to read the originals?" Jisung's mother questioned when she noticed how awkward things seemed to be between you and her son but you looked at your mother before speaking. 

"We're going to be writing our own," Your head snapped to your mother as well as Jisung's, neither of you knew one another well enough to write your own vows so you were just as shocked as he each other upon hearing your mother say that. 

"We are?" You stumbled out without thinking, silencing yourself as soon as you saw a death glare come in your direction,

"It's a tradition in our family," Your mother said through gritted teeth, taking your hand in hers and squeezing so tightly you thought it was cutting off the circulation to your fingers which didn't go unnoticed by Jisung. His eyes stared down at your hand as he frowned to himself wondering why your mother was the one taking charge of everything, why you would look at her before speaking there was something that didn't add up for him. 

Lingering behind after the rehearsal dinner Jisung took you from behind dragging you over to the toilets and it didn't go unnoticed by your mother who was beginning to panic on the inside that something was going on.

"Do you even want this?" The sudden question made you stare up at Jisung, he was red in the face from walking over to you and it looked as though he was angry about something. 

"Yes, of course," You knew you were going to have to say everything you could to make him stay, if he tried to leave now everything would be blown. You would rather take your chances in a marriage where you don't truly love someone than staying with a toxic family that hated your guts. 

"Why? You don't know me, I don't know you." Your heart was beginning to pump faster, so fast you could practically feel the blood running through your veins as you stared up at him with worry clear on your face.

"We know each other, I know everything about you." It wasn't a lie, you knew everything there was to know about him from the internet but he knew nothing about you, not the real you. He only knew the version your family perceived you to be and that was far from who you really were. 

"You're so sheltered," He sighed as he looked at you, glancing to your mother when he noticed how uneasy you seemed to become without her around. 

"We should take Y/n home, it's a big day for you both tomorrow." The fake sincerity in your sister's tone sent shivers down your spine but you flinched as she touched you, moving away from her so you wouldn't have to deal with her cold touch. Within seconds you were being dragged over to your mother who began dragging you out of the restaurant and towards her car, lecturing you about wandering off unattended.

The next day was supposed to be the best day of your life and yet you were sitting in your wedding dress in your changing room trying not to cry. You'd been woken up early and pushed around from stylist to stylist before finally arriving at the old church your mother had picked out. The altar was decorated to perfection which of course, lead to the comments about how you were never going to match something so perfect and the church outdid everything you were trying to do.

"It's not right," Your mother hissed at you as you raised to your feet waiting for her to nitpick at every detail about that day, your makeup was done the way she wanted, your hair was styled the way she had chosen everything was the way she wanted except for one important thing. It wasn't her getting married. It wasn't her that was going to stand up there in front of everyone and have the wedding of her dreams it was you.

"She won't be our problem in a few hours, we won't have to deal with her." Your father spoke as though you weren't even in the room, the way they always did. It was demeaning and made you feel as though you were nothing but something they had stepped in. That was the one thought getting you through the whole thing, the one thought that was going to keep you strong as you walked down that aisle and into a whole new life. Into your freedom. You'd decided the night before that once you were married you would tell Jisung the truth about everything, about why you were so quiet and what your parents were really like and pray that the two of you could at least be friends. You didn't need a husband and it was clear he did not want a wife.

Organs began to play inside the double doors and you knew it was time to start walking, your father linked his arm with yours as he glanced down at you. 

"You better not trip, this wedding is everything." While normal daughters would exchange fond words with their father yours reminded you that you were imperfect and that he couldn't wait to get rid of you. 

"Head up, back straight, don't slouch," He mumbled before the doors opened but it wasn't the reaction you were hoping to get, a room filled with people and yet they were all whispering and gasping to one another. Your eyes wandered over everyone as you slowly walked up the aisle until you realised what was so shocking to them all. Jisung was nowhere to be seen. His father was seen mumbling to your mother about something before storming out of the church and your father left you standing at the altar to be gawked at as though you were some kind of animal in a zoo. Your sister smirked from the sidelines as she saw your eyes beginning to well up at the thought of being stood up on your own wedding day. 

"We appreciate everyone coming out today," Your father stood in front of you as he began addressing the full church, everyone exchanging comments about what they thought could have possibly happened between you and Jisung for you to be stood up but you were wondering the same thing. 

"Did you say something?!" Your mother screamed as soon as the church was empty everyone had left one by one but not before gawking some more as you stood at the top of the altar, forced to watch as your freedom slowly seeped away from you. Your parents had been yelling accusations at you since the moment the guests all left, you didn't know what to do. Your only means of escape were gone and you had nothing left to loose, you were already a shell of a person. 

"God knows what you said to him last night, something that humiliated us no doubt!" Your father snapped as he threw his hands up into the air, Jisung stopped just outside the door as he heard the yells coming from inside. He had come to speak to you alone thinking your parents would leave you alone for a while but all he could hear was yells. 

"It's your fault he left, you know! You're nothing but a no-good piece of trash!" Jisung flinched for you as he heard your father scream once again he felt his heart sink as he realised why you had been so insistent on the married,

"I did everything to make this perfect for you! I did everything! Everything was perfect except for you!" Their words began to build up and build up until you felt as though you were going to burst with anger. 

"What did I do that made you hate me so much?! What is so wrong with me?" You finally yelled out, staring back at them as they gave you a look of shared shock.

"We took you in! We loved and raised you!" Your mother scoffed at you, 

"Love?! That's what you call love?! Training me never to speak unless spoken to, punishing me whenever I expressed myself!" Everything was finally bursting out of you and you were no longer able to control your feelings.

"I have no freedom! You've kept me in a cage my entire life!" Jisung's hand rested on the door as he waited to see if he should come in, he was impressed to hear that you were standing up for yourself. 

"You should be grateful that we even dealt with you for so long! you're ungrateful," The door opened and you stared at Jisung in fear that he had heard everything that was going on, 

"After everything we've done for you, this is how you show us you're grateful!" You said nothing in response to your mother but Jisung did, he began walking down the aisle and took you by the hand.

"Kids don't need to be grateful! They need to be loved and shown how to live in a world," Your father stepped forward to say something but Jisung slowly tucked you behind his body. 

"You have no idea what-"

"Don't raise your voice at me, Y/n and I are leaving." You frowned as Jisung began to walk you down towards the exit of the church, 

"Together?" You whispered just as confused as everyone else in the room seemed to be around you both,

"Blood is not thicker than peace of mind. Cut toxic family members out of your life," He wasn't speaking to everyone in the room he was speaking to you as he locked eyes with you, he could see how confused you were so he sent you a reassuring smile.

"I'm taking you away from them." He whispered as he began pulling you out of the church and into the parking lot, you didn't know where to start with the questions or if you ever wanted to question him. 

"Get in," He smiled opening the car door and glancing at you as he waited, the dress you were wearing was hiked up to your knees and you climbed inside, looking forward to whatever your life had planned for you with your new freedom. 

"Freedom looks good on you," Jisung chuckled as you laid on the beach, it had been months since your almost wedding and you'd never had to look back on your old family again. Jisung was your family now and he treated you better than anyone else in your life had before.

"It feels good on me too," You whispered turning to lay your head on his chest and look up at him, 

"You're happy, right?" You nodded at his question and he smiled again kissing your lips softly. The two of you began dating not long after leaving your family behind, he was happy to get to know the real you and you fell head over heels in love with one another from the moment you began running away together. He was taking you everywhere you'd ever wanted to go, looking after you the best that he could, making your life together the best it could possibly be.

Tagline: @taestannie​ @sw33tnight​ @acciocriativity​ @mwitsmejk​ @minholuvs​ @anxiousbobatea​ 

[boldlyanxious]

Meeting again

Jasonette July SC 5: continuation from design

I stole the idea from a comment

Sorry. I meant it was inspired by a comment

Teen rated for kissing. Some suggestive comments

Jasonette July

All fic masterlist

Jason entered the ballroom and looked around. It felt as if nothing had changed in the years since he had last been to one of these events, but he sure had. He used to try to make everyone happy because it made Bruce happy but now he didn’t even know. He knew Dick used to have women all over him whether they were actually interested in him or just interested in the money he never knew, but with this being his engagement party he would likely have far fewer women making the attempt.

Jason didn’t think he would end up with the overflow even with only the most desperate women falling all over Dick. He didn't care anyway. He knew he had too many rough edges and he wasn't willing to change for someone. His break with Bruce had been too well known for him to get gold diggers. They may not have known all the reasons but it was pretty obvious when they never were seen together and Jason’s life was completely separate. This would be the first public family event Jason had been to in a couple years. He planned on behaving himself though. Babs had come by to deliver the invitation herself. He had always been friendly with her and she said that Dick really wanted to leave the past in the past. He wanted his brother back and with him when he celebrated the engagement.

There was a crowd around Dick when Jason arrived and he wasn’t quite ready to face that. He would wait until the crowd thinned or just nod from across the room. He headed for the drinks first. He wasn’t sure if he needed to take the edge off or if he just liked having something in his hand as a buffer. He smiled and offered polite greetings to those he saw. He remembered a few of the names but not all. By the looks of confusion he got, he didn’t think many of them connected him to the grinning child he once was.

He saw his opening and made his way over to Dick and Babs. Babs saw him first and turned to Dick to get his attention but just as their eyes met Jason saw something that took all of his attention in an instant. Marinette was across the room. He assumed that she was wearing the dress she mentioned with his handiwork down her side and disappearing into the lace. It's was pink and lacy with the side open showing his marks across her ribs. It was mesmerizing. He didn't even plan to alter course until he was walking towards her. Even realizing that she was dancing with Bruce didn't stall him.

This must have been the event that she had mentioned and the client she had been working with. He respected that she hadn’t mentioned the name. Name dropping was probably common in her business but she had chosen to respect the client over possible name recognition. He walked right over to the couple as they danced and spoke to Bruce when he looked up at him.

“That definitely looks like too much for you to handle. I would love to help you out.”

He winked down at Marinette when she looked at him. Bruce scowled.

“Jason, that really isn’t appropriate. Do try to maintain some decorum, for Dick and Babs’ sake.” Bruce said.

“Jason. I didn’t know you would be here.” Marinette was smiling at him.

They had stopped at the edge of the dance floor.

“I didn’t realize you had met my other son, Ms Dupain Cheng.” Bruce said.

“I’ve had my hands all over her.”

“Really Jason.” Marinette scolded before turning back to Bruce “I didn't know he was your son. Jason was my tattoo artist. I think it turned out great.”

She turned to show off her side but Jason couldn’t pull his eyes away from the color that filled her cheeks when he talked about having his hands on her. Bruce still looked skeptical.

“So you should definitely be out there dancing to show off your work, and mine. Should we show him how it is done?”

Marinette responded by taking his hand and pulling him to the dance floor. This was so much better than having her in the shop. He may have dropped a couple flirty lines there but he still had to make sure she was comfortable with him as an artist.

“So I called the number you left with me and you never returned my call.”

“I know. I’ve been so busy and I didn’t want it to come off like I was blowing you off when I called back. I was waiting until I didn’t feel so tired.”

“That ended up coming off like you were blowing me off.”

“I know. I hope you didn’t lose all interest.”

“I think I could be persuaded to be interested again.”

He pulled her tight against him and dipped her low. Then slowly brought her back up to him. He could feel her shiver as he trailed his fingers down her back until her reached her exposed side. It was his turn to shiver when she responded by digging her fingers into his back. They didn’t scratch through his suit jacket but he could feel her meaning behind the action. It suddenly looked like it would be a long night if he had to stick around here. He leaned down and talked against her hair.

“You make me want to drag you out of here and find some place quiet. But I have to go wish the happy couple well.”

Dick eyed them as they approached. He smirked at Jason and winked. He definitely looked like he didn’t mind being passed over for a pretty girl. He was surprised at how well Dick and Babs actually seemed to know Marinette. He quickly found out that she had designed their outfits for the engagement party but was also already making the wedding dress. Babs had met her at the library. She was lost in her research in the back room studying old fashion volumes while Babs was doing some IT work there. Marinette had heard Babs complain about needing a coffee and brought her one when she stopped for a research break. They had become friends after that.

He stayed and caught up with Dick for a while but his eyes followed Marinette when she stopped talking to Babs and the other ladies who were desperate for details about the wedding dress. She ended up passing out a lot of business cards. He wasn’t sure if she really had limited availability to make something before the wedding or if she said that to make herself seem more exclusive. The wedding was almost a year away, but he also didn’t know how long it took to do any of that. He knew well enough that people often didn’t expect as much time and money to go into art as it would actually take.

Eventually he wandered away from Dick. He even stopped and talked to Bruce for a few tense minutes. Maybe things would get better with time, but for now they just continually butted heads so they tried to stick to neutral topics. He did not stick around when Tim showed up. He started to say something but nothing he could say here and now would be enough for the history between them. He excused himself and wandered off. He wanted to dance with Marinette again. There was no one else he wanted to dance with but she was dancing with someone else so he stepped out of the ballroom for a bit.

It was a few minutes later when he heard a click of heels in the hallway behind him. He turned and there she was walking toward him. He prepared himself to say something clever and smooth when she reached him but she didn’t give him the chance. He took a step toward her but she grabbed him by his lapels and shoved him against the wall. The back of his legs hit a bench and he sat, unsure of what she was doing until she pressed herself against him. She moved her hands up to his face and slid them into his hair as she put her lips against his. He settled back against the bench and pulled her close as he returned the kiss. It was fierce and pressing. He could barely keep up with her.

He pushed his hands against her back to get her to move closer. She complied by adjusting her dress and climbing onto his lap without pulling their lips apart. He slid his hands up her sides and she moaned into his mouth. Her hands came out of his hair and scratched down his back again. He had never hated a suit jacket as much as he did right now, he may burn it later if he didn’t have other things to do after. He pulled away from her slightly and kissed along her jaw until he could whisper into her ear.

“I wish I could just take you out of here now.”

“I need to go back in there or I probably would,” she responded.

“I do too. I can’t leave without saying something. I hadn’t planned on this little interlude.”

“You shouldn’t have come dressed like that.” she said. “Especially after all your flirting last time.”

"If it is having this effect on you I will never take it off."

"Can I?" she asked.

She had far too innocent a look on her face and he was struggling to respond. He was tempted to forget everything and drag her away to continue what they started. But she just smirked at him and walked away. He found a mirror and fixed his hair and tie. It was clear when he saw her that she had stopped to fix herself before returning to the ballroom. Pity, he loved how her lips had looked after kissing him.

It was the best of expectations for him. Most of the people didn’t really remember him well and those who did expected a scene and he spent most of the night keeping his eyes out for his greatest reason not to cause a scene. He also had a chance to catch up with Alfred. He had missed the man who had always been like a grandfather. Alfred seemed like he had much more understanding and empathy for the choices Jason had made even if he didn’t like all the things he had done. Alfred would always be loyal to the family and he took the opportunity to make sure Jason knew that family included him.

He pulled the man into a hug, overcome with emotion at the acceptance. He hadn’t much felt like he was accepted recently. Now with Dick reaching out and Alfred telling him how much he still cared, he felt that he was getting his family back. All his life it felt like his family was constantly falling apart. It was one thing after another until the brief time he was living with Bruce. Marinette approached the two of them and he wondered now if he could find that feeling again, with her. He introduced Alfred to her as his grandfather and the man had a twinkle in his eye.

“Lovely to meet you Ms. Dupain Cheng. I do hope Jason is asking you to dance. With him he may just like to sneak off to a deserted hallway.”

Jason eyed the man certain that he had spied them earlier. He chose to ignore what he said and follow his recommendation. He held out his hand to her and she went with him to the dance floor. It was a nice slow song and he pulled her close and swayed with her and she laid her head on his shoulder. It was the most perfect feeling in the world. The song ended and he started to pull back but she pulled him closer and they stayed that way through the next song. It was also slow so they just stayed together and kept the same pace. The music stopped as the song ended and he could tell the celebrated couple were getting ready to make a speech.

Marinette pulled him down for a quick kiss before turning to hear the couple talk about their lives and thank everyone for coming out to celebrate with them. Jason stood right behind Marinette and slid his arms around her. She looked up at him and smiled as she leaned back against him. He rubbed his thumbs against her ribs and leaned down and kissed her head. A waiter offered champagne for them to toast with the couple. Everyone clinked glasses and cheered. Marinette took his hand from her and turned to him.

“So did I manage to persuade you into having interest in me again,” she asked.

“You might have.”

“I wish you knew because it is time for me to leave.”

“How about I go with you and we can find out together?"

He pulled her in for a kiss. When they pulled away she took his hand and they walked out together.

Taglist

@jasonette-july-event | @theymakeupfairies | @emjrabbitwolf | @vixen-uchiha | @trythisagainlove | @trippingovermyfeet | @tbehartoo | @adrestar | @zynna

[etherrealoblivion]

Chapter Seventeen: The Ones We Win

The Final Chapter.

Table of Contents

Fic summary: Owning a bookstore in downtown D.C. came with its fair share of downsides. You never thought that being the target of a serial killer would be one of them. Luckily, a nice FBI agent by the name of Spencer Reid is assigned to watch over you. What's the worst that could happen?

Pairing: Spencer Reid x Reader

Words: 2,700

enjoy!

MASTERLIST

~

You woke in the hospital, unsure of how much time had passed, this time much more drugged up judging by the strangely good mood you were in.

Or perhaps your mood had something to do with the sight of Spencer slumped in the chair next to your bed, a yellow cardigan draped over him, snoring softly.

“Merry Christmas,” although it came out raspy and barely audible, he still snapped awake, rushing to your side and holding your hand like it was made of glass.

“Hey,” his eyes were full of fear and worry but also relief and care. “You’re safe, it’s okay.”

You smiled softly at him.

“No, it’s not.”

His expression shifted, not sadder but more earnest. He knew you were right.

Smiling, he whispered, “No. No, it’s not. But it will be.”

For a while the two of you sat there, holding hands, enjoying each other’s company without having to worry about imminent danger for the first time ever.

You cleared your throat, memories coming back as the morphine wore off.

“Is . . . is Steve . . . ?”

Spencer frowned, looking down at the ground.

“Steve. . . the bullet entered right in his neck …  they-they operated for hours but … he-he slipped into a coma. I’m sorry.”

You nodded seriously, forcing back the tears that threatened to escape. Somehow, after all you’d been through, you’d become numb to such awful news. Although, it could be the morphine.  

“And J.J.?”

“She’s fine. Well, she’ll be okay.”

You nodded again, glancing down at where your hands were joined.

“What now?”

“Well, um there are some things the FBI has to go over with you, so once you’ve recovered a bit more, they’re gonna have to ask you a few questions.”

“Can’t you do it?”

His cheeks went pink and he cleared his throat awkwardly, hand shifting in yours.

“I, um, I’ve been unassigned from the case.”

“Why?!”

“C-conflict of interest.”

“Oh, right.”

Although you weren’t sure exactly which conflict of interest he was referring to. It was either the fact he’d been kidnapped along with you, or it had to with how much he’d told them about what happened at the cabin.

You must have been blushing because he removed his hand from yours and stood, starting to pace, frantically wringing his hands.

“Look, about what I . . . I only . . .” he sighed. 

“You know, for someone who’s constantly talking, you sure do have trouble finding your words,” you smiled at him.

He chuckled, running a hand through his fluffy hair that had gotten much messier since you’d last seen it. There was also a hint of a five o’clock shadow on his jaw. How long had he been sitting with you?

“Y/N, I . . . I meant everything I said.”

You swallowed, feeling the weight of that sentence implied on you.

“That you . . . you—“

“I love you,” the words practically spilled out of his mouth, as if he couldn’t have possibly held them back any longer. 

You beamed, astonished by the admittance. You assumed he would have assured you that any feelings between the two of you couldn’t continue because the lines of your relationship were far too blurred and complicated. Plus, you’d been put in a situation that neither of you would ever forget.

“I want to be with you, Spencer. Before you say anything,” you said quickly as he opened his mouth, “let me just say, I know that this is a really fucked up situation. I know that this probably violates every single FBI code and regulation. I know we’ve only known each other for a couple of weeks. I know that to the outside world, this looks like a classic case of transference or whatever. But really, the only thing I know for sure . . . the only thing I really care about, is that I love you, too. I love you for you.”

His face was impossible to read.

Feeling a surge of disappointment, you glanced away, deciding to give him an out.

“But I know you feel differently. I just needed you to hear that. I won’t be hurt if you decide to leave and never see me aga—“

But you were interrupted by a passionate kiss, his hands gripping your jaw, pulling you into him, holding you as close as he could without hurting you.

You gasped into the kiss, reciprocating the enthusiasm, delving deep into his mouth, tongues meeting in a wonderful blaze of lust and fire.

An eternity passed as you basked in the feeling of kissing someone who you knew you loved, and who you now knew loved you back.

No words could ever possibly describe what you were feeling.

You were brought out of the episode by the quiet clearing of a throat from the doorway.

Spencer snapped away from you, glancing at the door and going bright red. His coworker, Morgan, was standing there, awkwardly looking away with a mischievous smile on his face.

Reluctantly, Spencer looked back at you, attempting to smile.

“Listen, um … would you want to … to go….”

He didn’t finish. He didn’t need to.

“I’d love to, Spencer.”

His face lit up and he pressed a gentle kiss to your forehead.

“I’ll, uh, I’ll talk to you later.”

“Okay,” you smiled, squeezing his hand before he walked out the doorway, glancing back at you before the door shut.

Once he left, you watched him and Morgan exchange a few words, Spencer growing redder and Morgan laughing. Their conversation ended with Morgan fake punching Spencer in the arm and the latter man shuffling off, attempting to hide the smile forcing its way onto his face.

Morgan waved a hand at him, then turned and entered the room.

“Ready?”

You smiled.

“As I’ll ever be.”

~

Four days later

The doorbell rang, drawing your attention away from the pile of messy clothes you’d been attempting to put away.

He was early, of course. After all, it was your first ‘official’ date. It followed that Spencer Reid was punctual.

Kicking the dirty laundry under your bed, you opened the door, greeted by a huge bouquet of flowers over which Spencer’s head popped up beaming at you.

“I didn’t know your favorite flower, so I had them put all of them. I’m, um, I’m just now realizing how ugly it looks.”

You laughed, taking the bouquet and welcoming him in.

“It’s beautiful, Spencer. Thank you,” and you placed a quick kiss on his cheek, a soft blush forming there.

“So,” you called from the bedroom, slipping on some comfortable shoes, “where are you taking me?”

You saw him bounce on the balls of his feet, hands in his pockets.

“It’s a surprise,” he chimed, “Well, it was supposed to be a while ago, actually.”

You practically ran out of your room, securing your earring.

“A while ago? Wait,” you gasped. “Is this the surprise you were going to show me after the restaurant?”

He nodded. 

It felt like so long ago the two of you had been in that alley, pressed up against each other. That was the first time you’d ever fired a gun. Turns out it had been good practice.

Shaking that memory out of your head, you followed Spencer out the door down the stairs and out into the cold December night.

Christmas felt like it hadn’t really happened. In fact, according to your doctor, you had been unconscious all Christmas day, finally waking up on the 27th. You and Spencer had decided to meet as soon as possible, not wanting to be apart for longer than necessary. It just happened that that meant New Year’s eve.

You walked for a while, chatting about all sorts of nonsense until finally, you realized where he was taking you.

“Wait, are we—“

“Ah! Don’t spoil the surprise.”

But within a few minutes, your suspicions were confirmed as you arrived outside of the downtown library, which, thankfully, stayed open pretty late.

He led you in, heading immediately for the language section.

“You remembered?” it was a stupid question and he cocked an eyebrow at you. You laughed, “Okay, fair enough.”

Still, you were touched that he had remembered a detail as small as a section of the library that you wanted to visit but was never able to because of stupid security reasons.

He withdrew the little golden key from your first restaurant date and unlocked the restricted section, leading you into the plethora of dictionaries and research books there.

“Being an FBI agent does have its upsides,” he joked, slipping his hand into yours and letting you lead the way through the stacks.

“This is amazing, Spencer! I've always wanted to come in here but they’d never let me. Some stupid regulations about student access.” You turned to face him, dragging him into a tight embrace. “Thank you.”

You could feel him shiver as your breath hit his neck.

And so you walked through the shelves, stopping when a book piqued your interest and explaining all sorts of rules of language to Spencer who picked it up pretty quickly. It was wonderful the way he watched you ramble, as though he truly wanted to hear more, to understand what you were saying.

It shocked you when the voice on the speaker announced that the library would be closing in ten minutes.

“Is it eleven already?” you asked, glancing around for a clock. Neither you nor Spencer wore watches. 

“Well, I hope you enjoyed the restricted section. Too bad we didn’t learn anything about Nicholas Flamel,” he side-eyed you, tongue in cheek and you beamed at him.

“You read Harry Potter?”

He took a sip of an imaginary cup, smiling and pulling you closer as you walked towards the exit, “While you were asleep at the hospital. It actually took me a couple of days to finish if you can believe it. I just got so invested in the story, I had to slow down to truly appreciate it. Make the experience last longer.”

Pleased, you reached up and gave him a kiss, now just outside the library, all alone.

His eyes sparkled in the streetlight. You could so easily get lost in them. He looked at you in a way no one ever had before. He looked at you like you were something worth looking at.

“Follow me,” you said mysteriously, taking his hand and leading him down the empty street, a wicked smile on your face.

He laughed nervously, long legs able to keep up easily, “Where are we going?”

“You got to surprise me. It’s my turn.”

You halted in the street, the words unconsciously taking you back to the dark metal room. Tom’s voice rang through your ears, “I think it’s Y/N’s turn, don’t you?”

Spencer must have noticed your pause because he was suddenly in front of you, tilting your face up to meet his.

“Hey,” he was so gentle, so sweet, pulling you out of your flashback with his voice. “Let’s go.”

So you led him to your destination: a small park with a little white arch which you stood under, whipping out your phone and tapping rapidly. In the center of the park was a little clock tower, it was almost midnight.

“I used to come here when I needed to clear my head.”

“What are we doing?” he asked, standing across from you, peeking down at your phone, hands in his pockets.

“You went to college at fourteen, right?”

His eyes narrowed, unsure of where this was going.

“Yes. . . ?”

You put your phone on a little bench, music starting to play from it.

“So I’m guessing you never really went to prom?”

His face went blank, realizing what you planned as you slipped your hands up to his shoulders. Rather than reciprocating, he stood awkwardly, clearing his throat.

“While I have been told I tend to sway on my feet when I get nervous, I, um, I can’t dance, Y/N.”

“So don’t dance,” you stared into his eyes, as dark as black holes, “just sway.” And you moved his arms to your waist where they rested lightly, applying just the right amount of pressure.

And, as instructed, he swayed softly with you as the gentle slow song played in the background, barely audible from where you were snuggled into his chest, his chin resting gently on your head.

In that moment, you could see your entire future laid out in front of you. You and Spencer going on scores of dates, getting closer and more comfortable with each other. Your first fight that ended with plenty of “I love you”s. Your first time being with each other, getting to explore one another's bodies in a whole new light. Everything the future held for you, Spencer was there, standing by your side.

The song was over before you knew it. Pulling back, you wondered how long you’d been swaying in silence.

“Hey, Spencer?”

He stared at you harder than ever before, eyes analyzing every part of you.

“Yeah?”

It was barely a whisper as he said it, tilting your face up to his with a finger.

“I asked you how cases like this end. You said of the ones you win, the killer goes to prison and eventually everyone moves on. You never said what happens to the ones you lose.”

He realized what you were asking.

“The ones we lose.... The ones we lose serve as a reminder of how important it is not to fail.”

You nodded softly. Then—

“Which is this?”

Everything depended on his answer. Your future was utterly and completely in his hands. He could say they’d won, signifying that the two of you would move on, forget about each other, or he could say they’d lost, signifying that no matter what happened, neither of you would move on from the kidnapping, making it impossible to maintain a healthy relationship. Either way, you were going to lose him.

But Spencer Reid was a genius. A fact that seemed to keep slipping your mind. 

“There’s a third possibility,” he whispered, surprising you. When you met his eyes, you could see the desperation in them, the fear of saying the wrong thing.

“A possibility where the outcome of the case doesn’t define how we feel about each other.”

You could hear cheers from uptown, the sound of people celebrating and fireworks going off.

The clock tower began to chime, twelve painfully slow strikes signifying that the new year had come as you held each other in your arms.

On the last chime, you practically jumped into his arms, kissing for what felt like the first time, every single emotion behind it conveyed in the way you pulled his hair and yanked him closer until there was no part of you not touching. His arms snaked around your waist, pulling you close to him and deepening the kiss until you were both out of breath.

This felt like love. But how could you be sure?

You pulled back and stared at him.

“Maybe whatever happens to the killer isn’t what determines if you win or lose.”

He waited for you to go on.

“If none of this happened, I never would have done so many things. Shot a gun, been to that library, played strip poker. . . I never would have met you. To me, that sure sounds like one of the ones we win.”

He smiled so sweetly, the light of a thousand suns washing over you.

After sitting in the moment with him a little while longer, you picked up your phone and began the walk back to your apartment.

“You didn’t read The Cursed Child, did you?”

“I read the first two chapters but I stopped because I thought it was a Harry Potter fan fiction,” he said, blushing.

You laughed, clutching his arm.

This was love. And you both knew it.

“That’s probably for the best,” you smiled at him, knowing that although the future was blurry, it didn’t matter. All that mattered was now, you and him walking through the street, arms entwined, utterly in love, the sounds of people celebrating the new year lighting up the path behind you. “I never liked fan fiction anyway. . . .”

 ~

The End.

~

A/N: thank you everyone for reading. it’s been a wild ride. i love you all and there is certainly more to come! <3

~

Taglist: @aperrywilliams​ @mjloveskids666​ @dolanfivsosxox​ @criesinreid​ @fanficsrmylife @racerparker​ @sammypotato67​ @lukeskisses​ @reidcrimes​ @you-had-me-at-hello-dear​ @l0ve-0f-my-life​ @thatsonezesty13​​ @yourmisosoup​ @queenofthebees003​ @pinkdiamond1016​ @eu-solidao @perverted-guardian-angel​ @boiled-onionrings​ @lesbian-emilyprentiss​ @andiebeaword​ @itsmoony​ @cielo1984​ @baby-i-am-fireproof​ @mendesminimuffin​ @fukyouthink​ @addie5264 @gretaamyk​ @sercyan​ @expressiodeppresio @matthewreid​ @rainsong01 @gublergirls

[lamiasluck]

An Eye for Art

Here’s my first non ego story! Set in a high end art auction, one piece differs from the rest. A classic haunted painting with a gruesome story, as well as many past buyers that returned it time and time again. It seems like a lost cause to sell, if not for a strange man with an eye for the spiritual.

@emptynarration @alvie-ashgrove @shy-marker-pliers @juju-on-that-yeet @m4delin @lildevyl @verse2wo @ferociousfangirlofmanyfandoms (sorry if you don’t wanna be tagged uwu)

-

The lively crowd travelled around the room with an eager attitude amongst all of them. All strangers, for the most part, but all united with the common interest of tonight’s gathering. A love for the arts. Or, more specifically, a love for buying things in an auction. Rich and pompous people throwing away their money and overindulging in fancy champagnes. Nothing more the dull hearts could need.

With numbered auction paddles in hand, the group bid on various works of art from all sorts of mediums. Many artists were getting their hefty dose of recognition from the rich connoisseurs. One spent half a decade carving a detailed statue of an angel and earned enough money to make a stone army. A painting, one of a detailed setting of cultures, was made by a man that almost missed the auction because he overslept. Truly, this was a game for anyone looking for their slice of fame.

All, but one, of the artists showed up to take credit for their hard work and revel in the praise. There was something for all walks of life on this particular night. The group setting it up got lucky with the pieces they could gather. Though, one of the pieces would be concerning to want.

As the night went on and the artworks got new owners, there was one piece left by the podium. An antique, by the looks of it, with beautiful, hand-carved framework and a setting of a valley, with women frolicking through a meadow. On the surface, it seemed lovely, however, the crowd exchanged wary glances amongst each other, like it was hideous. No artist taking credit for it, no one showing any interest. The auctioneer cleared his throat awkwardly.

“I know you must be tired of seeing this thing, folks, but it was recently donated back by the last buyer,” he explained. There was a tight smile on his face as he tried to lighten the mood. “How many does that make now? Two? Four? Maybe six, if you count the guy that could handle it for an hour…” he laughed lightly. Didn’t get many others chuckling with him.

Barely anyone wanted to look at the painting, let alone bid on it. Clearly, no one wanted it, by what the auctioneer saw. All those paddles stayed firmly to everyone’s laps. In a way, it looked like there were more statues for sale. A simple nod of the head could be interpreted as a bid, after all, if the auctioneer is that desperate. And he was. 

This painting had a story. Frequent attendees knew it too well by this point. The Valley Girls had a long history of buyers, ignorant or curious alike. Many could only handle the painting for about a week. An old piece with a background of murder and vengeance hiding behind that cheery setting of flowers and sunshine. The auctioneer let out a heavy sigh, shivering even standing near the damn thing. Those valley girls had small, but piercing eyes that seemed to follow whoever looked at them.

“I’ll be easy on everyone. Can I get, say, $50?” The auctioneer scanned the crowd for anything. “Going once…” The crowd stayed silent, which wasn’t surprising. “Twice…” Maybe this painting would be better off burned. It doesn’t matter if it’s made with rare oil paints, or that the frame was carved from the finest oak. Something like this shouldn’t exist.

“Oh, I’m sorry-!” a quiet voice spoke up, followed by a raised paddle to make the last second bid, Number 4, something no one had seen this entire night.

Everyone looked to see a young man standing behind the crowd. Short in height, so it was easy to miss him, but he dressed just as proper as everyone else here, in a suit jacket and turtleneck. He fidgeted with his glasses, looking down as everyone stared at him. 

“Sorry… I was thinking to myself.” This man kept his paddle raised. The only confident thing about him. 

“Are you sure, sir?” the auctioneer asked.

The man nodded. “Yes, that’s in my budget.” Everyone else looked shocked. Such a kind and shy man was about to make the biggest mistake of his life.

It simply wasn’t believable. “Do you know what this is?” Screw making a sale, the auctioneer was concerned. “The history?”

Another nod. “Yes… I’ve done my research,” the man replied, confused. “I know about all that… and a couple interesting facts!” He pointed to the corner of the painting. “Those red dots there aren’t more flowers, actually. It’s the blood… from the murder… um.” He cleared his throat. “Sorry, that’s a bummer fact… ignore me.” He ducked his head again and let his fluffy, black hair hide his embarrassed face.

Well, at this point, couldn’t deny a bid. “You can put the paddle down now,” the auctioneer whispered and was met with another quiet apology. He got the crowd’s attention back to continue, albeit much quicker. “Do I hear 75? Going once, twice- sold! To the man that shares too much.”

Very hesitant applause followed. Everyone gave the man odd looks, before talking amongst themselves as they dispersed. The last piece had been sold and the night was coming to a close. Not necessarily leaving on a high note, but overall it was a fun night. The auctioneer guided people who purchased artwork to pay and find ways to carefully bring it home. The odd man stayed by the side lines to let everyone pass by. Better not draw any more attention, especially with the judgemental glances he was getting. 

Once everyone paid for their things and the artists began bidding their goodbyes with their pieces, the man went over to collect his painting. That auctioneer was still around, watching over things and keeping a curious eye for the haunted painting. Such a timid man bought the damn thing. He was small, not just height wise, but he carried a demeanour that didn’t want to be seen. Hands that constantly fidgeted with his glasses, shoulders slumped to make his posture tinier, nervous expressions. God, this man was going to die by whatever demons plagued the Valley Girls.

“Can I get your name, sir?” a receptionist asked.

“Xander,” his voice was still as quiet as ever, “Collins… Xander Collins. Sorry…” He gave a shy smile. “Should I spell it out or…?” “That’s alright, mister Collins,” she reassured. “I think I got it. Enjoy your painting, if you can.” 

It was cheap enough that Xander could pay for it with cash. Looked like she, and many others, were rushing the process to get it out of here as soon as possible. Still, it was packaged nicely and the perfect size for him to carry himself. Now to give everyone a peace of mind and be on his way. 

“Excuse me.”

Xander flinched, looking back and seeing the auctioneer heading towards him. He gulped. “Yes…?”

“Sorry, just wanted to ask a couple questions. It’s scratching at my mind, I suppose,” he chuckled awkwardly. “I’ve never seen someone know the backstory of this thing and buy it. You one of those ghost hunters?”

Ah yes, the classic question. Xander was used to it, but he still fidgeted under the other’s gaze. “I guess I collect art like this… it’s a hobby of mine,” he explained. “I’m an exorcist.”

The auctioneer hummed in curiosity. “Oh~ So you’re gonna kill the ghost! I get it.”

“No-! Never!” Xander sputtered, before clearing his throat and looking down. “Sorry… I just- I don’t hurt the ghosts. Sorry.”

“What? Then what are you doing with them? Playing patty cake?”

Xander shook his head, frowning slightly. “I help them pass on… peacefully. They’re stuck here and helpless.” In a way, the spirits were humans still, and he certainly didn’t want to treat another human with malice. Not with how gently he held the painting against his chest. 

“Oh, I see. Kinda.” The auctioneer furrowed his brows and looked at Xander with a puzzled expression. “Well, you have fun with that, then. No refunds.” He turned on his heels, walking away quickly. 

Xander breathed a sigh of relief as he’s finally left alone. The trip to his car was easy after that. He placed the painting in the passenger's seat, not crazy enough to buckle it in like a person, thankfully. Though, the idea did make him giggle. 

The air was tense with the painting beside him, making a shiver crawl down his spine. Still, he didn’t falter. He was as confident as ever compared to how he acted in front of the others. “I’m glad I finally found you, Mary Ann,” he hummed in content. “That place was scary…” He gripped the steering wheel tightly, before taking a deep breath. 

The painting obviously didn’t speak back, but Xander didn’t expect anything. “Everything will be okay… hopefully.” With his research, it should be fine. Doubt was always a tricky problem, though. “I’ll do my best…”

Some may say Xander had a dangerous hobby. The art pieces he collected had very real stories of people getting hurt or traumatized, after all. However, he had his precautions. Be respectful. Be patient. Be helpful. No running away screaming for him, not with a job to do. 

Not many would praise the strange boy hunting for ghosts to save, but it was an interesting hobby. Every time a spirit felt at ease and passed on in Xander’s presence, he took pride. Ghosts were simply unfortunate souls that got stuck in a confusing situation. So, he doesn’t mind going the extra mile for their sake, even if he could only make a dent in his effort. One art auction at a time.

[magicmushroomedibles-blog]

Mushrooms as Medicine? Psychedelics May Be Next Discovery Treatment

Magic Mushroom Edibles

From addressing depression to facilitating manage alcohol cravings, researchers say authorized medical “magic mushrooms” have many probable benefits.

Psilocybin can have many potential positive aspects, but non-e get yet to be authorised by the FDA. Getty Images

Magic Mushroom Edibles

Soft illumination. Comfortable furniture. Art work decorating the rooms.

To the untrained observation, this setting is definetly a living room. Nevertheless it’s not. It’s a research facility uniquely designed to evoke convenience.

A psilocybin treatments session is happening.

On the couch lays a patient. They have attention shades and earphones on. Gentle popular music is playing. A few members of the explore team are present to aid guide the appointment over the course of eight a long time. Much of this time are going to be spent in restful introspection.

Trained professional medical staff are on-site, should anything unanticipated happen.

Despite the features of normalcy, the following therapy session is usually anything but.

Psilocybin, that active ingredient found in “magic” mushrooms, or “shrooms, ” is a robust psychedelic.

Despite increasingly being about 100 circumstances less potent as compared to LSD, it’s competent at altering perception with space and time period, causing visual distortions, euphoria, and magical experiences.

Unlike pot, which has seen some sort of dramatic shift each of those in terms of support involving legalization and known therapeutic uses, and MDMA, which has procured headlines in recent years due to the potential to treat PTSD (some researchers imagine the drug may well see Food together with Drug Administration acceptance as soon as 2021), psilocybin lacks the same amount of cultural cachet.

Then one could be forgiven with regard to thinking of “shrooms” since nothing more than a remnant of the excess of this psychedelic 1960s.

Although make no misstep: Psilocybin has a amount of potential medical advantages.

Research has shown psilocybin to have potential to help remedy a range of psychiatric and additionally behavioral disorders, nevertheless it’s yet to take delivery of FDA approval meant for anything.

Its possibilities indications include unhappiness, obsessive-compulsive disorder, kicking the habit of smoking, alcohol habit, cocaine addiction, chaos headaches, and cancer-related or other end-of-life psychological distress.

High-profile initiatives have also jumped up in recent months with Denver, Colorado, in addition to Oregon to decriminalize psilocybin mushrooms.

Nevertheless experts say they’re unlikely to distribute.

Psilocybin mushrooms stay a Schedule As i drug according to the Meds Enforcement Administration, significance they’re classified when having “no now accepted medical employ and a high probability abuse. ”

Many other Schedule I meds include marijuana, MDMA, and LSD.

Nevertheless, despite social stigma and legal green tape, researchers are generally forging ahead using clinical trials to get FDA approval.

Doctor George R. Greer, co-founder and leader of the Heffter Explore Institute, a nonprofit research center that will focuses on the extremely helpful uses of psychedelics, particularly psilocybin, teaches his motivations:

“Our mission is two-fold: one to do exploration that helps people understand the mind, as their pharmicudical counterpart, how all that will work, and number a few, to help reduce suffering through curing use of psychedelics. ”

The institute happens to be focused on two principal areas of psilocybin homework: addiction and cancer-related psychiatric disorders. Cancer-related psilocybin therapy is believed one of the most promising instances research for the meds.

However , considering the multitude of potential signs for psilocybin, it’s important to keep in mind that the quality of research also fluctuates widely, from sole pilot studies to help phase II and also III approval samples by the FDA.

Here’s what the current study says about psilocybin treatment for some likely indications. |

Unhappiness

Depression is among the the majority researched indications designed for psilocybin therapy. Since Healthline previously known last year, psilocybin remedies was given “breakthrough therapy” designation (a assessment fast track) by way of the FDA for the procedure of depression.

That Usona Institute, some psychedelic research middle, is currently in the intending stages of their stage III trial, that can likely begin this coming year. Smoking cessation and also other addictions

In a small to medium sized pilot study with Johns Hopkins University or college, researchers found which psilocybin therapy noticeably improved abstaining because of smoking over a 12-month follow-up period.

Matthew Johnson, PhD, link professor of psychiatry and behavioral sciences at Johns Hopkins University School associated with Medicine, led this study.

According to him or her, psilocybin also has possible to treat other product use disorders, which include alcohol and cocaine addiction.

“The standard idea is that nature of these symptoms is a narrowed emotional and behavioral repertoire, ” he instructed Healthline. “So, [psilocybin] within well-orchestrated sessions [has] enable you to essentially shake people out of their process to give a overall look of a larger imagine and create a internal plasticity with which often people can measure outside of those troubles. ”

In fact , a little open-label study with psilocybin and drinking dependence found of which following treatment, either drinking and serious drinking declined.

Study workers in Alabama are currently conducting demos for psilocybin treatment method on cocaine dependency.

Cancer-related psychological pain

“There’ve been a few promising preliminary ends in such areas like the treatment of mind-boggling existential anxiety around people who are facing the final of life, with diagnoses of advanced-stage cancer, ” Doctor Charles Grob, teacher of psychiatry in the UCLA David Geffen School of Medical science, told Healthline.

Grob, who’s also connected with the Heffter Exploration Institute, has researched psilocybin extensively along with authored research about them, including, among other stuff, a pilot examine in 2011 at psilocybin treatment with regard to anxiety in of those with cancer.

A randomized, double-blind trial coming from Johns Hopkins inside 2016 found that the single dose from psilocybin substantially better quality of life and reduced depression and fear in people with life-threatening cancer diagnoses.

“The thing that we enjoy the most evidence meant for is cancer-related despression symptoms and anxiety. That will seems really robust, and I’d end up surprised if people results didn’t withstand, ” Johnson claimed, who was part of that will research.

Despite probable research, there’s virtually no realistic timeline to get when, or when, psilocybin will truly be approved with the FDA.

All a few experts interviewed just by Healthline stress that this substance can be serious for a host with different reasons any time administered incorrectly.

“It will only be implemented in a clinic as a result of specially trained together with certified therapists, medical doctors. It’s never probably be available out on the road where people may well sell it or even take too much, or simply take too many health of their pills from a prescribed, ” Greer proclaimed.

Psilocybin affects your cardiovascular system and can trigger increased blood demand or irregular heartrate.

It also has the probable to cause substantial and permanent unconscious problems.

“Psilocybin will always be more psychologically hazardous than cannabis, and additionally it’s especially damaging for a small share of the population who have got had an occurrence of psychosis and mania, manic event, or even, say, a detailed family member whose possessed those problems, since the device can trigger your psychosis or manic episode in a individual who is vulnerable to which, ” Greer talked about.

And there’s constantly the chance of a “bad trip, ” and also negative experience even though taking the narcotic. There are rare nevertheless documented cases of an individual jumping to their fatalities or otherwise behaving erratically in such a way that endangers themselves or some of those around them.

When Grob puts the idea: “Taken in out of control settings, honestly, just about all bets are off of. You don’t figure out what you’re gonna get hold of. ”

But psilocybin therapy is nothing beats taking shrooms for a party. It’s that will be a meticulously regulated environment to ensure that practically nothing unexpected happens.

“You name the risk, in addition to we have really good accessories for addressing that, ” Johnson stated.

He further discussed, “There are dangers, but they are noticeably reduced in healthcare research and probably in approved medical related use, and I might argue that all those risks and some of our ability to address these fairs very practically compared to many measures that are routinely applied to medicine. ”

Nevertheless, the safety along with efficacy of psilocybin treatment must definitely satisfactorily proved to your FDA, which, so far, it has not.

When others are optimistic this psilocybin may stick to in the footsteps involving MDMA therapy together with potentially even have endorsement within the next 5 to help you 10 years, its walkway is far from crystal clear and very uncertain.

As soon as asked if there’s a realistic timeline designed for approval, Grob shared with Healthline, “I don’t think so. Although the research we’re dealing with has by and large ended up very positive and additionally encouraging, there hasn’t been enough explore. ”

“There ought to be more FDA-approved scientific research with psychedelics, ” he increased, “exploring both ways to optimize their beneficial potential but also looking to get a better understanding of the number of medical side effects, which may be problematic… There’s still some doubts that need to be cleared. ”

[our-time-is-now]

May 28,2019: Not just advertising!

(previous play)

You can find more information about the authors, translators, content warning and additional information about the plays in the pinned post on our blog.

Attention! This play includes transgender topics. For more details see our interjection.

Tuesday, 5:38 pm:

David: *he and Matteo realized earlier today that the fridge was empty and as Laura is currently spending a lot of time with her lovesick best friend, it's their turn again to cook today and provide for themselves* *so he went food shopping with Matteo who had announced that he wanted to cook something today (David would have been ok with a frozen pizza or a salad) – and they are now entering through front door downstairs* *lets Matteo pass and informs him* I'll just go check if there's any mail... *opens the mailbox and takes out two letters while Matteo is already climbing the stairs: One bill for Laura and one from the health insurance for him* *feels his heartbeat speed up, but doesn't want to get his hopes up too much – maybe it's not about the cost coverage for his mastectomy, maybe it's only advertising or just some information. And even if it was about the mastectomy, the letter could still tell him that they reject the cost coverage* *takes a deep breath and follows Matteo to the apartment door* *briefly smiles at Matteo when he steps aside so that he can unlock the door and then takes both letters and the groceries into the kitchen* *puts the letters down on the counter for now and puts the groceries on one of the chairs* *sits down on a stool and looks at Matteo questioningly* Umm... do you want to cook now, or later?

Matteo: *checks the time and shrugs* We can wait for another hour, depending on how hungry you are. *points at the bags* But we should still put away all this stuff... *grabs one of the bags and puts it down on the counter to empty it* *didn't pay attention to the letters* *turns on the radio*

David: *laughs quietly* Usually, /you're/ the one who's always hungry... *also checks the time and then nods with a grin* Okay, if you can manage to wait for another hour... *has the letter from the insurance company constantly in his mind, but doesn't feel ready yet to open it* *so takes the things Matteo is pulling out of the bags to put them away in their respective cupboards or the fridge* *grins and holds up a can of spray cream* *can't remember putting that in the bag and looks at Matteo questioningly* Felt like sandwich toast, or what is that for?

Matteo: *laughs* Yes, exactly, that's why it's smarter to eat when you want... I can always eat. *then nods* Yes, I can wait for an hour* *laughs when David shows him the spray cream* No, that was on Laura's list... but I mean, if you want to eat some more cream-cheese-toast again, we can postpone the cooking? *grins*

David: *by now has put away all the things Matteo had handed him and now goes to sit on the stool again* *tilts his head when Matteo mentions the cream-cheese-toast* Let me think for a moment... hmmm... no! *laughs* I trust your cooking skills can whip up something better than cream-and-cheese-toast! *then gets a little more serious and asks* Hmm... and what are we gonna do until we eat? Want to watch a TV-show? Or play some computer game?

Matteo: *laughs slightly* Oh yes, no-one can resist pasta alla Luigi... get ready for something... *then tilts his head to and fro* Hmmmm, a TV-show sounds good... I mean laying around on the sofa... *grins and by chance notices the letter addressed to David* Don't you wanna open that?

David: *laughs quietly at Matteo's answer and summarizes* So, laying around on the sofa, making out and having a TV-show on in the background... *imitates Matteo by also tilting his head to and fro and says* Yes, sounds good... *glances at the letter again and plans on opening it when Matteo cooks and is just about to get up from the stool when Matte mentions the letter* *picks it up without thinking about it and stares at it for a moment* *gets nervous and taps his foot* *is silent for too long* *eventually looks up at Matteo and starts stuttering confusedly several times* Yes, right, I... well... maybe... *feels silly all of a sudden* *it's probably only advertising* *shakes his head, stops and murmurs* Okay, screw it... *holds his breath while he slowly tears open the envelope*

Matteo: *grins and nods* Best plan... *is surprised when David's demeanor changes all of a sudden when he mentions the letter* Well, you don't have to... if it's a bomb threat or something... *peeks at it again but can't see who the letter is from as David is holding it in his hands again* *feels like it might be more important than he thought* Did you already apply anywhere? *right now doesn't have an idea what else it might be* *sees how David opens the letter and suddenly gets nervous himself even though he doesn't even know what it's about* *simply observes David while he slowly takes the letter out of the envelope*

David: *is too nervous to respond to the bomb-threat joke and only slightly shakes his head when Matteo asks if he has already applied somewhere* *realizes that his hands are shaking slightly when he pulls the letter out of the envelope and immediately sees that it's not advertising* *can read the subject line "application for cost coverage for a mastectomy" without having to fold the letter open and feels his heartbeat race and a strange ringing in his ears* *tries to calm down somehow... should the application be rejected he'd simply work to save the money... that would take longer, but he would do the surgery no matter what* *briefly closes his eyes and unfolds the letter* *tries to concentrate and to understand what it says* *reads it again and slowly understands* *exhales shakily and laughs quietly but at the same time feels tears of relieve come to his eyes* *rubs over his face, looks up at Matteo, beams and cries at the same time* *grabs Matteo by the sweater and pulls him toward him* *simply has to hug him now, to share his joy and relief with him and explain to him what happened but realizes that even more tears start to come when he presses his face to Matteo's shoulder* *quickly clears his throat and finally murmurs* The insurance covers of the mastectomy...

Matteo: *watches David as he reads the letter* *immediately has a lump in his throat when David somehow simultaneously laughs and cries and has no idea what's going on* *immediately steps toward David when he pulls him in and wraps his arms around him* *then hears what it's about and realizes how everything tightens in him out of joy and relief for David* *hugs him firmer and then leans back a little to kiss him* *beams at him* Wow, that's... well... congratulations! *laughs and hugs him again* Then we don't have to rob a bank, after all...

David: *tries to wipe away the tears when Matteo leans back to kiss him, but realizes that there are new ones coming and figures that it doesn't matter now* *is simply relieved* *returns Matteo's beaming look and then has to laugh when he talks about robbing a bank* At least not for the surgery... maybe only for a trip to Detroit... *returns his hug and takes a deep breath to somehow calm down* *releases the hug again and wipes the tears out of his face again* *realizes that his hands are shaking and laughs quietly again* *holds them out to Matteo and says* Some booze to calm down wouldn't be bad right now...

Matteo: *simply beams together with him and nods* Yes, for Detroit definitively... *was just about to take David's face in his hands when he holds his hands out to him* *grabs them and holds them firmly* *entwines their fingers and shakes his head* No alcohol, Mister Schreibner... now more than ever... *tilts his head slightly and looks at him* And I know you don’t like it when I say that... but I just want you to be well, okay? Optimal conditions and such...

David: *looks at their entwined fingers but can't really stop the shaking and the turmoil* *looks fake-annoyed when Matteo forbids him the alcohol* *only said that as a joke and knows that Matteo knows it as well* *then nods with a grin at Matteo's correct realization that he doesn't like when he says something on that topic and says* Well observed, Mister Florenzi! *then nods at his next words and briefly pulls Matteo's fingers to his lips to press a kiss onto them* Okay, I know! *smiles lovingly because he really does appreciate the fact that Matteo watches out for him* *still adds an explanation even though he's sure that Matteo knows it* The thing with the booze was only a joke... and a beer every now and then is also okay... *tilts his head and looks at him challengingly* Okay? *really doesn't want to discuss every single beer in the future* I'm only supposed to avoid "excessive alcohol- and drug consumption"...

Matteo: *nods slowly* Okay... from now on, I'll shut up when it's about beer... *slightly tilts his head* But only with beer... everything else I'll comment on... and I'll do research about mastectomy... and if it says anything different anywhere... *looks at him fake-warningly* I still feel bad about you smoking weed because of me, so you have to deal with me being overprotective whether you want to or not...

David: *smilingly and quietly says about the beer-topic* Very good! *then laughs and nods* Okay, do all of that... but about the mastectomy, you can simply ask me... I might have read a few tiny things about it at one point... *shakes his head and corrects him* I didn't smoke because of you, I did it to look cool in front of you... that’s called own stupidity. Just like with my binder - by the way, I have to take it off soon... you didn't know about it, so you don’t have to feel bad about it... period! *looks at him with a slight grin and raised eyebrows, as if he wouldn't accept any objections right now* *lifts one hand to his cheek and looks at him lovingly again* *quietly says* Apart from that, sometimes I gladly endure your overprotectiveness... *adds even quieter* I like it, when you watch out for me...

Matteo: *draws up his eyebrows* *You don't say... I know that you know this stuff... but I also know that you tell me that one beer is okay or that working out is okay or whatever... *laughs slightly incredulous* To be cool in front of me? *shakes his head* And you were much cooler than me to start with... *smiles a little and kisses him briefly* Good, because I won't stop it... and therefore go and get changed, I'll go and turn on the TV in the meantime...

David: *laughs when Matteo accuses him of withholding things and slightly hits him in the chest* It is! *shakes his head with a grin* Umm, no...? You were cooler than me! You were only being you! *smiles and returns the kiss* *nods fake-serious when Matteo says that he won't stop watching out for him* *is quite sure of that* *laughs at his order and gets up to go to the bathroom* *but before he goes he pulls Matteo to him, kisses and hugs him briefly but firmly because now his thoughts are back on the letter and the surgery again* *then jumps up twice from excitement and only says* I'm so happy! *then disappears into the bathroom to take off his binder and gets back into the living room relatively quickly, where Matteo is already lying sprawled on the couch and has turned on the TV* *as there is no space for him to sit, let alone lie, he simply drops down on Matteo and tries to somehow push him aside* *grumbles* Move!

Matteo: *only shakes his head when David says that he was cooler* *knows that this is one of those discussions that could go on forever, so doesn't disagree again* *laughs when he jumps twice and simply looks after him lovingly* Me too! *goes into the living room, turns on the TV and gets comfortable on the couch* *grins when David comes in and makes an umph-sound when he drops down on him* Not like this *wrestles a little with him and tries to use up even more space* *eventually, they find a position in which they can both lie on the sofa: Matteo pressed against the backrest, one arm under David's head and David half on top of him, half on the sofa with his head on Matteo's shoulder* What do you wanna watch? Continue with Friends or something else?

David: *laughs when Matteo tries to use up more space and wrestles with him and is giving his best to get some space on the sofa* *relaxes when they apparently find a position that's comfortable and doesn't actually need a series but nods at the suggestion of Friends and says a little lazily* Friends is always good... *turns the TV to Netflix and puts Friends on and then stretches briefly to put the remote back on the coffee table* *leans back again and immediately feels Matteo's arm wrap around his waist again* *reaches for his hand and intwines their fingers* *relaxes and looks to the TV where there is a scene at the cafe* *both he and Matteo are quiet for quite some time* *at some point says* By the way, I have to get up a little earlier tomorrow. I've got a doctor's appointment at 10 for my hormone injection... *simply assumes that they spend the night here because they're here already and so far, didn't really have a reason to spend their nights separated*

Matteo: *thinks that Friends is a great series to relax to as you don't always have to pay attention because you've already seen it a hundred times, anyway* *therefore, gets pulled out of his thoughts when David starts talking* *also thought that they would sleep here as they are going to eat here* Okay... *only then realizes completely what he had said* Because of the injection? *remembers David telling him about psychologists and injections and that he also read that there are different options of administering testosterone* How often do you have to do that?

David: *nods when Matteo asks about the injection* *never really thought about how much Matteo actually knows about the whole thing but thinks that Matteo will ask or do some research if he wants to know something and in the last two and a half weeks has made the experience that for Matteo a lot of things are okay, simply for the way they are* *then hears his question and starts to draw small circles on the back of Matteo's hand with this thumb* Hmm... every 3 to 4 weeks for the injections... the GP does that... and once a year for a check-up with a specialist. *waits if Matteo has any more questions or if that was all he wanted to know*

Matteo: *hums slightly and thinks about it* Every 3 to 4 weeks? For the rest of your life? *grimaces slightly and squeezes his hand* Could you also do that yourself or do you always have to go to a doctor?

David: *nods at Matteo's questions and returns the squeeze* *turns around to him when he realizes that he has more questions but puts his head back on his chest and wraps an arm around his waist* Theoretically I could do it myself... but... *grins slightly* ... at the doctor's you get the injection in here... *slightly smacks Matteo's bottom and then continues* ... and you have to hit the muscle and you have to be careful not to hit the sciatic nerve which also runs there somewhere... so you probably wouldn't really be able to do that yourself... with the doctor it's faster and probably less painful... he knows the right spot... *presses his lips together for a moment and then adds* Some people also inject it themselves - then it goes into the thigh... but so far... *shrugs slightly* ... so far, I haven't really felt confident enough...

Matteo: *laughs a little when he smacks him on the bottom* *then nods again to show David that he's listening* Okay... yes, I can understand that. *but then thinks about it again and what it means to get injections your entire life* I've read that there's also a gel... wouldn't that be easier? Or is that difficult because of the dosage?

David: *has to smile a little when he realizes that Matteo really did some research but then explains* You have to apply the gel daily. I think it's really inconvenient because you also have to make sure that you always apply it at the same time and that you shouldn't shower for an hour afterwards and stuff like that. And if you're in a relationship you should... *thinks about how to explain it best and starts again* Well, you rub the testosterone directly onto your skin and it takes some time to be absorbed completely. So if you're together with a woman, for example, and you touch her, then there's the danger that she involuntarily also gets some male hormones... *grins slightly* *thinks for a moment and then adds for the sake of completeness* There are also depot injections that you only get every three months. Sometimes I consider switching to them, but it's a bigger dose that you get injected with and you can really only do that at the doctor's.

Matteo: *listens to him attentively* *didn't know about the trouble with the gel* *but then has to laugh a little* Well, luckily that wouldn't be a problem in your case... but gosh, all the things you have to consider... *hums again slightly* Well, as long as the injections aren't a bother you don't have to risk anything, right? How long does such an appointment take? Should I pick you up and we'll go have breakfast or something like that?

David: *nods to the topic of injections* *often feels a little pain the next day but has gotten used to it by now* *thinks at Matteo's question* Hmmm... well, the injection that's a matter of two, three minutes... but afterwards you're supposed to keep lying down for 10 to 15 minutes... and when it's busy I often have to wait a little... I guess I'll be finished by 10:30 or 10:45... *looks up at him and smiles slightly* Breakfast sounds good. But I can also bring back some bread rolls. *grins a little* Then you don't have to force yourself out of bed... *puts his hand on Matteo's cheek and pulls his head down slightly to give him a brief but tender kiss*

Matteo: *nods and grins* Bread rolls also sound good... I can make breakfast... *but then thinks that it will be the first time that he'll be in David's apartment without him* *doesn't know why this causes a weird tug in his stomach* *but then gets kissed and forgets it for now* Tomorrow evening Hans has scheduled flatshare-cooking and I quote "Without David and Alex, they're great, but I've had enough of happy couples”* *laughs slightly* But maybe I can come by afterwards?

David: *nods when Matteo says that he can make breakfast* *thinks it's really nice but also a little exciting and unfamiliar that they are this familiar with each other after such a short time, that being together is so natural* *grumbles when Matteo quotes Hans, but then laughs* He should go look for a partner himself! *immediately nods at Matteo's question* Sure, I'd love to... anytime! *is happy that he wants to come over afterwards* *finds the thought of having to spend the evening without Matteo somehow strange, but rationally thinks that they can't always spend their time together* *thinks briefly of what he could do tomorrow evening and spontaneously decides to do some more research on the surgery and to make some phone calls for a consultation on Friday*

Matteo: *laughs slightly* Hans doesn't want a boyfriend... too much heartache, he says... *shrugs, so as if he couldn't relate to that, at all* *finds it strange that he's not going to see David tomorrow evening and tries to figure out when the last time was that they weren't together and can't really remember* And what are you going to do tomorrow evening? I bet you could hang out with the guys if you want...

David: *also laughs about Hans and shrugs* Then maybe he does something wrong... *grins a little at Matteo's suggestion and softly strokes his cheek* *teases* Are you worried that I'll get bored without you? *smilingly shakes his head and stretches a little* No, it's okay... I mean I guess I could, but I'll just make use of the time and do some research about the surgery. I might have to wait months for an appointment, if I'm unlucky... I already did some research about surgeons, but there are only two here in Berlin. There are a few good ones near Berlin... there's one in Potsdam and I think in Halle, as well... maybe I'll read some more experience reports and call all the surgeons on Friday...

Matteo: *grins slightly and shrugs one shoulder* Maybe... but maybe I'm just projecting from me to you... *nods when he says that he wants to do some research* Doesn't have to be near Berlin, does it? I mean, if you have to stay in the hospital, the travel distance doesn't matter... then we'll just go to Hamburg or Frankfurt or Munich or wherever... the main thing is that you get the best surgeon there is.

David: *laughs quietly and murmurs* Maybe you simply know me really well and know that by now I've gotten so used to you being there that it will somehow be weird... *smiles and says* But we'll manage a few hours! *listens to him and nods at what he says about not having to bee near Berlin and travel distance* *doesn't even hear the cities Matteo lists because his brain and his heart got caught on the word "we"* *straightens a little so he can look at Matteo and clarifies* We? *once again has the feeling that his heart almost overflows with all the love for Matteo and briefly thinks that somehow he's really emotional today and could once again cry from happiness because he never would have thought that he'll find a partner who will be with him on this journey*

Matteo: *smiles and nods* I'll send photos and comments, then you're basically there... well, if Hans doesn't take my phone away. *looks at him surprised when he straightens and clarifies with him* Yes, we... *slightly shakes his head because he thinks that David would rather do this alone* Well, I know that my care is sometimes a little annoying, but I'm definitely coming with you, no matter what you say, sorry...

David: *feels his heart skip a beat when Matteo really confirms that he wants to come with him* *then realizes that Matteo misunderstood his question, briefly closes his eyes and laughs quietly* *looks at him again and shakes his head with a smile* *quietly and with a lump in his throat says* I didn't mean it like that. I’d be happy if you came with me. I just never thought that... *shakes his head, stops and starts again* For years I thought that I would have to do this on my own... *thinks for a moment, shrugs and lowers his gaze* *smiles again and quietly admits* I think that you might have been right, after all... that it's better to not be alone. *blushes slightly and gets sheepish*

Matteo: *looks at David and puts his hand on his cheek* Hey... I told you that I'm here now... *has to swallow down the lump in his throat at David's next words* *kisses him briefly* I won't leave you alone... I love you, ok? No matter what. *looks at him and thinks that it's still true to some extent, that David has no idea how great he is and how much he deserves to not be alone* *kisses him again and then grins at him slightly* *wants to lighten the mood and says* We'll get rid of those stupid tits somehow, okay?

David: *simply smiles when Matteo repeats his promise that he's here now* *back in the pool didn't really know how important that would become to him and even though it scares him a little, it's simply beautiful to know and feel that he's there* *looks at him a little incredulous when Matteo tells him that he loves him, because he finds it incredible that Matteo can tell him that without hesitation and so matter-of-factly and briefly presses his lips together when he realizes that tears start to pool in his eyes, after all* *but thinks that it's true, that he also loves Matteo and that there isn't any doubt about it* *looks at him and responds* I love you, too... everything about you... *thinks that right now it has even more meaning than it did in the pool, but that words almost aren't enough to express what he feels for Matteo* *hopes that one day he can prove it to Matteo just like Matteo is proving it to him right now* *returns his kiss and tenderly pushes the unruly hair off his forehead* *has to laugh at his next words and nods* Oh yes, please! As fast as possible! *scoots a little closer to him and kisses him a little more fiercely* *interrupts the kiss after a while and rights himself* And now I'm hungry!

Matteo: *notices the tears in David's eyes and realizes how everything in him wants to be there for him, always* *then hears for the second time that he also loves him and feels his heart skip a beat* *kisses him and laughs a little when he agrees with him* *grumbles slightly when David interrupts the kiss* *but then laughs when he calls for food* Okay... I'll accept that... *waits for David to get up from the sofa to get up himself and goes into the kitchen with him*

(next play)

[psycheswritings]

Nothing’s Fair in Love and War - Eight

Title: Nothing’s Fair in Love and War

Fandom: Peaky Blinders

Pairing: Thomas Shelby x Daphne Scott (OFC)

Warnings: Swearing, violence (it's canon violence thought, not really detailed. I think, so be warned), a poor atempt at romance, some bad researched things about weddings, domestic Alfie (because I was in the mood and I think you should be warned about it) and some fluff.

Word Count: 5137 (yeah, I know. Someone please stop me)

Author's Note: Helloooooo. Back with the update. And I apologize in advance because it seems like I have forgotten how to write romance. Don't know what to say today, really. Maybe I can make the suggestion that you hear the music “Fear on Fire” by Ruelle for the, let's say, first part of the chapter. It kinda sets the mood for the wedding and, well, what happens there. Talking about music, I kinda made a playslist for the fic, for inspiration and everything. Would you like if I shared it? Let me know. Thanks for everyone that liked and commented the last chapter (and the whole fic, in general). It's what keeps me writing (and posting, specially).

As always, this haven’t been proofread, so feel free to report any mistakes back to me; warnings are expecific for each chapter and tags are on the bottom. If you want to be tagged, let me know. Also, your feedback is also highly appreciated. Happy reading.

Disclaimer: All publicly recognizable characters, settings, etc. are the property of their respective owners. The original characters and plot are the property of the author of this story. The author is in no way associated with the owners, creators, or producers of any previously copyrighted material. No copyright infringement is intended.

Chapter Summary: The big day has come - Jane and Charles are getting married and there is a lot of unresolved tension hanging in the air. Daphne is doying her best at her job of maid of honor, trying to not get distracted by one certain guest. Tommy surprises Daphne with his dancing skills and makes decides to make a move to win her over. After that, he receives the file with informations about Daphne and gets a little unsure about things, deciding to make a call to sort out his feelings. Arthur goes to Camden Town celebrate Seder with Alfie and the turn of the events it's not that promising for the Shelby brother.

Masterlist

Eight

She haven’t seen or heard of Tommy in the following days from their encounter at Ada’s house. Daphne busied herself helping Jane with the rest of things that needed to be sorted before the ceremony and her increasing workload at the bakery but not even her hectic schedule seemed to be able to take her thoughts out of him. Constantly she caught herself wondering about how gentle was his touch when he held her close, or the way he looked at her with so much passion in his eyes, but mostly about the way he addressed this growing feeling between them.

The water had already turned cold when she got out of the tube, drying herself and putting on a robe. She sat down in front of the vanity and looked at the reflex in the mirror, sighing, before starting to brush her hair and pinning it up. Then she picked the locket that was resting on the vanity, not opening it, her fingers playing with the object like she had done a thousand times before. What would Benjamin think about all of this? Well, if he were still alive things would be a lot different, probably. It was in days like this that she missed him the most - the one person that knew what she was thinking even before herself sometimes. She put the necklace on before dressing herself to go and picking the things she needed, putting on her shoes and heading for the stairs.

“Fucking hell, lass, you’re a fucking vision.” Alfie was in the middle of the room, westriling with his tie. She smiled at him, slapping his hand away from the tie hanging from his neck and straightening his collar to tie the knot while he murmured. “I hate this stuff. Don’t know how Thomas can use it all the damn time.” She tried to hide it with a shy smile, but he saw the way she bit her lower lip at the mention of the Brummie’s name.

“Can you help me?” She turned around pointing at the strap that needed to be fastened at the base of her neck and he quickly tied it and then she turned back to look at him, his hands holding hers. “Thanks.”

“Fucking beautiful.”

“Stop it or I will think that you’re going soft.” She mocked him and the gangster just rolled his eyes.

“It’s true, though. Doubt that there is going to be a woman more beautiful.”

“Don’t let Jane hear that, she is supposed to be the most beautiful woman of the party today.”

“Well, she was the one who invited you for her maid of honor and chose you that dress, I’m only stating the obvious.” Daphne smiled at him, standing on her tiptoes and placing a kiss on his cheek, choosing to ignore the faint blush that crept onto his face.

“I’m going to the Weston’s house to help Jane get ready. I’ll meet you at the reception?” He just nodded at her, observing as she left and thinking to himself if this was gonna be the last moment of peace they would had for the following weeks.

*******************************************************************************************

“You look beautiful.” Was the first thing William said to her as her opened the door of his family’s home for her to enter.

“You don’t look half bad yourself.” She smiled, hugging him and then stepping inside the house. “Aren’t you supposed to be with Charles?”

“I’m on my way.” He kissed her cheek before taking his coat from the rack. “Jane is in her room with my mother and her friends. Make yourself at home.” Then he was out through the door and she made her way upstairs. She knocked on Jane’s bedroom door and let herself in to see the group of women walking from one side to the other of the room, doing different things. Immediately, she searched for the bride, finding her near the window looking a little overwhelmed. When her eyes found Daphne’s she cleared her throat, asking for the other women to give them some time.

“Thank God you’re here. I thought they were going to make me crazy.” They hugged each other and Daphne took a step back to look at the young woman properly.

“It’s okay, I’m here to help you now.” They smiled at each other and Daphne hushed her friend to the vanity to help her with her hair and makeup.

“You look beautiful. I’m really glad I chose a different color for you.” Daphne just smiled to her through the reflex in the mirror.

“Thank you my lady, but I guess this doesn’t matter that much because all eyes will be on you today.”

“Not all of them, I hope.” There was a mixture of insecurity and mischief in her tone and all that Daphne could do was give her friend a disapproving look when Mrs. Weston entered the room. They dressed Jane and then went to the church all together. She was waiting in the car with Jane, noticing that the younger woman was fidgeting, she took one of her hands on her own.

“Nervous?”

“A little.” The blonde let out a heavy breath after the confession. “It doesn’t make sense, right. I love him, I shouldn’t be this nervous!”

“Well, you’re about to start a new life with him. Everything will be different, I think I would be nervous to.” Jane looked at her for a second before saying.

“You would make a wonderful sister.” Daphne knew that it wasn’t her intention but she felt the pang in her chest anyways, Jane immediately recognized her mistake. “I’m so sorry, Daph. I didn’t meant it like that.”

“I know. And I’m honored, really.” The conversation was cut short by Mr. Weston, coming to let Daphne know that it was time for her to make her entrance. “Let’s get you married, huh?” Daphne said as she straightened Jane’s veil one last time, smiling at the bride before getting out of the car and climbing the steps of the church. She walked down the aisle alone, as she should, giving a reassuring smile at a very nervous Charles at the altar, before the band started to play the song for Jane to enter.

The youngest Weston seemed like an angel in all white, arm in arm with her father, a very delicate bouquet of white and blue flowers on her hands and a smile so bright it could light up an entire room. As it was expected, Charles shed some tears when he saw her. When she reached the altar, Jane handed the bouquet over to her maid of honor and it was in that moment that Daphne’s hazel eyes met Tommy’s in the crowd. It took a moment for her to register his presence, standing beside Ada, close to the front doors of the church. She averted her gaze quickly, concentrating in her tasks but during all the ceremony Daphne could feel his eyes on her.

*******************************************************************************************

It wasn’t like she was the most beautiful woman he had ever seen in his entire life - Thomas was sure that there were a lot of women that could rival her in beauty. However, it wasn’t her physical appearance that attracted him, at least it wasn't just that. Because there was no denying that she looked, indeed, stunning, standing at the altar, dress of a pale blue, almost matching the color of the sky at the blue hour, hair delicately tied up, a touch of light makeup and the undeniable shade of blood red coating her lips that could be recognized even from the distance.

Their eyes met for a brief moment when she picked the bouquet from the bride’s hands but she was quick to avert his gaze. No, he was falling for her because of her alluring presence, her witty answers, the way she treated his family like they were hers, because she seemed to understand him and the business better than anyone. Ada got him out of his daze by elbowing him because they were supposed to sit now. For the rest of the ceremony he observed her, giving little attention to the rest.

He watched the newlyweds walking down the aisle, all smiles to each other, followed closely by William and Daphne, arm in arm, looking like the next couple in line for a wedding as they shared a friendly smile towards each other. Tommy knew that if he was a good man - a really, truly good man - he would back away and let her have a chance to be with someone that suited her better, someone like William. But he was no good man.

*******************************************************************************************

The reception was held on the Weston’s manor, as it was expected. The ballroom was richly decorated with flowers and candles, giving the place a cozy atmosphere. Foods and drinks of very expensive tastes were being served, people chatting all around the place. As a part of the wedding party, Daphne was with William, helping to receive the guests before the newlyweds made their entrance.

“If I ever decide to get married remember me of opting for a small reception.” Daphne murmured to William, making him laugh, in one of the few moments of calmness they had in the last half an hour.

“I will, because you can’t expect me to go through all of this again.”

“What, you want to be my maid of honour?” She mocked him, a playful smile on her lips.

“I was hoping so. Don’t you think I would look ravishing holding your bouquet at the altar?” Daphne had to hold herself back not to laugh out loud but the moment was cut short when they had to greet the next people in line. When her eyes focused on the pair in front of her she had to take a deep breathe to calm her nerves.

“Congratulations on your sister’s wedding, Mr. Weston.” Tommy extended his hand for best man that promptly shook it.

“Thanks, Mr. Shelby. And calm me William, please. Mr. Weston makes me sound like my father.”

“Then you may call me Thomas.” They nodded at each other. “This is my sister, Ada.”

“Pleased to meet you, Daphne talks a lot about you.” The Shelby sister said as William kissed her knuckles, smiling.

“Pleasure is all mine. Hope she left out the bad parts.”

“Of course not, where’s the fun in that.” Daphne objected, making them laugh.

“Ah, it’s unfair of you to be this beautiful.” Ada exclaimed hugging the other woman.

“You are quite the sight too.” And she was, indeed. Her short hair curled and left loose, bringing out the blue of her eyes, the dress of a deep green, making her look all classy. When they parted, Daphne prepared herself for the inevitable. “Thomas.”

“Daphne.” He mimicked William’s gesture towards his sister, kissing Daphne’s knuckles.

“Charles will be happy that you came. I think they had seated you in the same table as Alfie.” William said, looking at Daphne for confirmation.

“Yeah, that’s right. Good thing for you that he is in a good mood.”

“We must get going. See you two later.” Ada said smiling and pulling her brother along with her at the same time that Mrs. Weston came to them to let them know that they all would make her entrance now, before Charles and Jane. All the bridesmaids and groomsmen lined themselves up, them both Charles and Jane’s parents.

They were left for last, waiting for them all to walk into the ballroom. As it was tradition, Daphne was seated at the top table, with the newlywed couple and their parents along with the best man. Unfortunately, she and William were in opposite sides ends of the table, so she mostly observed the people around and tried to make small talk with Charles's mother on occasion until it was time for Will to make his speech.

“Well, I never thought I would be doing the best man’s speech at my little sister’s wedding.” Everybody laughed at William’s statement before he continued. “I have known Charles for the most part of our lives and Jane for all of hers and I know, despite having fought against it at the beginning, that they are probably the closest thing of a perfect match that we all have ever seen. Of course that I needed a little convincing accepting that my little sister, the one that was always following me around, was dating my best friend, but  figured that there was no better person to put up with her. But I won’t elongate this too much because I know that everyone is more interested in the food than in hearing me. I just want to say that, from the bottom of my heart, I wish you too a very happy life together because everybody should experience the joy of loving and being loved in return at least one time on their lives.” Everybody clapped their hands as one teary eyed Jane launched herself into her brother’s arms and then Charles and William hugged each other, exchanging pats on their backs.

The food was served, everybody ate and drank happily and it was time for Mr. and Mrs. Johnson to share their first dance. Daphne had seen a fair share of couples in her life to know how to notice the differences when two people really loved each other or not and it was more than safe to say that these two were absolutely entranced with one another. After the first dance, the bride danced with her father and the groom with his mother, then Daphne danced with Charles and Jane with William, so the parents could dance two. And then she and William had to share a dance.

“I still can’t believe that my little sister just got married.” He sighed as they moved across the dance floor.

“To your best friend, of all people.” She mocked him and he just shook his head before laughing with her.

“You are absolutely mean, Miss Scott.”

“After all these years of coexistence with you I had to learn something.” William just narrowed his eyes at her in pretended offense as he swirled her around.

“You never thought about it?” Daphne looked at him, confused.

“What? Getting married?” He nodded. “Not really. You?”

“Sometimes.” There was a moment of silence and when people started to enter the dance floor and then she tried to lighten up the mood.

“Well, you are a good men. You will find someone soon. I think at least half of the ladies in this ballroom want me dead just because I am dancing with you now.” He just laughed at her statement before asking.

“Do you want to go talk to Alfie?” She nodded so he took her hand and they both headed to the table.

“There are they. We were just talking about you two.” It was Harriet who saw them first, talking for the other people on the table.

“Well, what’s so interesting about us?” Daphne asked as William pushed a chair for her to sit, beside Ada, before setting himself on the one next to her.

“The fact that almost every single woman in this room is giving you death glares for stealing away one of the most desired bachelors in all London.” Daphne laughed out loud, looking at William who was rolling his eyes.

“I told you.” She said to him and he waved his hand.

“Shut up.”

“And after that speech, mate, I think that you will have a line of admirers on your doorstep.” Alfie jokes, obviously not losing the opportunity of mocking his friend.

“Oh, fuck off you all.” There was a hint of a smile in his face and even Tommy had to give in and curve his lips up a little.

“If they only knew the pain in the ass he can be, they would think twice before running after him.”

“Mean, Scott, you’re mean.”

“I can only agree with her, you know. Think all this women should be more envious of the way this one looks, don’t you agree boys.” Harriet pointed at Daphne and then looked at Alfie and Thomas, pressing the both men for validation.

“Fucking vision, already said that to her, yeah.” Daphne threw a napkin at him, which he caught easily, laughing with everyone on the table. After the laughter died down, Daphne gave Harriet a sideways glance, which the courtesan promptly ignored, looking expectantly at Tommy. There was an air of tension around the table, the Brummie opened his mouth to speak, never really having the chance.

“Come on, girls. It’s time for the bride toss the bouquet.” It was Jane’s mother calling all the single women of the reception to go to the dance floor and try their luck at picking the bouquet and, allegedly, be the next one to tie the knot. Daphne audibly sighed, holding her face in between her hands.

“Don’t even think of skipping it.” Harriet got up from her seat and took Daphne by the hand, pulling her up. “We all are going.”

“I hate this stuff.” Daphne mumbled as Ada followed the two of them, giggling. The Shelby sister tried to cheer her friend.

“Don’t be like that. What are the odds of one of us getting that thing, anyways?” Apparently, the chances of one of them picking up the bouquet was very high, because the damned thing landed right on Daphne’s hands, even in the middle of a sea of other women that really wanted it. Jane looked at her, smiling brightly, and in a moment of pure and simple panic, the maid of honor tossed the bouquet for the crowd of desperate women and took a step back towards a very shocked bride. The blonde ended up laughing and hugging Daphne from behind, while they both looked as two of the guests fought for the object. After the end of the commotion the trio walked back to the table.

“You really refuse to settle down, don’t you?” Alfie more states than questions while Daphne sat down again.

“I don’t have time for this sort of thing and I definitely don’t need to be owned by a man.” Harriet and Ada expressed their agreements to the statement. “Let’s change the subject, please. I’m done with all this teasing.”

“Maybe I can help with that.” Tommy got up from his seat and walked to Daphne, standing his hand in front of her. “May I have this dance, Miss Scott?” The woman looked up at him, hazel eyes filled with a mixture of confusion and shock.

“I’m accompanied tonight, Mr. Shelby.” She nodded her head at William’s direction. They both knew that this had more to do with her trying to escape him than her really being asking for permission to do something.

“It’s okay, go with him.” They both looked at William as he got up from his own seat, buttoning his jacket. “Maybe I can persuade Mrs. Thorne in dancing with me?” Ada looked at little surprised by the question directed at her, but she mustered a little ‘sure’, before William walked to her, taking her hand and walking with her to the dance floor, leaving Daphne with no option but do the same, letting Tommy guide her through the tables.

They found a spot not so crowded and both fell easily into the upbeat tempo. She was more than surprised to discover that he was actually quite a decent dancing partner, swirling her around with ease and preventing them from colliding with other more enthusiastic couples. They didn’t shared a single word until the music changed to a slower tune and Tommy brought her closer. Unlike William, who had the discretion of maintaining his hand at the limit of the fabric of her dress, since it had a low cut in the back, Tommy’s hand rested delicately over her skin.

“How’s the arm?” She decided to break the silence, her hand was resting carefully over the place where the wound was.

“It’s healing alright, I had a good doctor stitching it up.” He smiled at her while she looked away.

“Not a doctor.”

“Sure as hell could be one.” The woman looked at him for a moment before saying.

“Didn’t wanted to. Not after…” She trailed off and he decided to take a bold guess.

“France?” She nodded and they fell into silence again. “I never got to answer the question, you know?” Her hazel eyes stared at him in question. “About how you look.”

“Thomas…”

“It was a good thing because I don’t know what Alfie would do if I said what was on my mind.” His blue eyes sparkled with something that she couldn’t quite recognize and Daphne had to remind herself how to breathe. “Because I couldn’t concentrate in anything but you during the ceremony. You and how you looked absolutely magnificent in this dress, standing at the altar and holding that fucking bouquet, smiling with these damned red painted lips.”

“Thomas…”

“And how I wanted to…” Daphne stopped, abruptly, but nobody gave much mind to it because the music was changing again.

“Please, don’t do this.” Tommy looked at her, confusion painted all over his face.

“Do what?”

“Make me want things I can’t have.” She walked off, disappearing over the other couples and leaving a very astonished Tommy in the middle of the dance floor. Daphne just had to get away from him and clear her head because she didn’t know what to do right now. Tommy, still standing in the same place she left him, shook his head, heading for the bar and asking for a whiskey, taking it in one gulp.

“She is probably on the library.” Tommy turned to the side to see William leaning into the counter, looking straight ahead.

“Excuse me?”

“Daphne. I saw her leaving.” The man took a sip of his drink and turned to look athe the gangster.

“The library?” William nodded. “And you’re telling me this why?” The doctor took a deep breath, downing the rest of the alcohol on his glass, ignoring the question.

“Out from that door, second to the left.”

“Why are you trying to help me?” It was more than clear that he liked Daphne too, so it didn’t make sense that he was trying to help. William turned to look at him before answering.

“I’m not doing this for you.” He walked away, leaving Tommy to ponder on what to do. The gangster decided to take a leap of faith, so he followed William’s lead and headed towards the door and what was supposed to be the library. He found her looking out of the window, arms crossed in front of her, distracted by her own thoughts. She turned to look his way when she heard the sound of the door closing and observed as he approached, stopping right in front of her.

She didn’t complained when he took a step closer, uncrossing her arms and sliping a hand to her waist and then to the lower of her back, invading her personal space and joining their foreheads. Instead she rested her hands on his chest, closing her eyes for a moment as he observed her, letting him hold her. He moved his other hand, the back of it ghosting over her arm until he rested his palm on the side of her face, inching her head up, urging her to look at him. Daphne slowly opened her eyes, holding his gaze for a moment before he leaned in and sealed their lips.

It was just a light touch, at the beginning. Tommy just kept their lips together for a second until he was sure that she wasn’t going to back away, so he licked her lips as if asking for permission to deepen the kiss and she let him. His fingers trailing over to the base of her neck, entangling themselves onto her brown locks while his other hand tried to bring her even closer, as he kissed her with a passion he hadn’t experienced in a while. That was when she melted against him, delicate fingers holding tight at the lapels of his jacket.

They parted from each other for a brief moment, catching their breaths and looking each other in the eyes before they kissed again. Tommy gently guided her a step back, pressing her to the window, hands travelling through her body to touch the exposed skin on her back, bringing goosebumps to her skin, trying to remind himself of where they were and not to think about how she must not the using a lip or a brasserie underneath that dress. Despite how he wanted her, it was Daphne and she deserved better than that.

This was the moment, in the middle of the library of the Weston’s house, hiding from the party roaring at the ballroom, her body pressed to him and the taste of her on his tongue, when Tommy accepted the fact that he was in love with Daphne Scott.

*******************************************************************************************

Tommy was distracted, filling some papers on his office, not noticing when John came in, juste realizing he wasn’t alone when his younger brother threw the file onto his desk. He looked up at hm, questionaly, before picking up the folder - it was from the War Office.

“It seems like you fucking that posh horse trainer had earned some benefits after all. Her connections from the War Office gave us Daphne’s file. Still don’t know what you need this for, but it’s there.”

“Did you read it?”

“No.” John watched his brother for a moment, noticing that he had made no move to open the file. “What you plan to do with that?”

“Don’t know yet.” It was true, he didn’t know what to do with the information. Specially considering what had happened after the wedding and how he couldn’t take his mind off of her - and how she tasted, how she squirmed under his touch, how she looked at him like he was something more than he thought he was. His younger brother nodded, turning to leave. Before he was out the door, John turned to look at Tommy again.

“She is a good woman, Tom. Far better than Grace.” There it was, that damn comparison that he’d been trying to avoid at all costs but it seemed to be impossible to escape from. He picked the folder from the desk, looking at it for a moment before locking it away on the drawer from where he picked an envelope. A letter that Grace had sent him - the only one he hadn’t burned. Before taking things further with Daphne he had to be sure of one thing, so he picked up the phone to make a call.

“Ritz Hotel. London, Picadilly.”

*******************************************************************************************

“The Passover started off way out there in the Far East, out in the sand, out in the desert, where my forefathers come from, the Jews, the brews, whatever you want to call them. It started out as a little speck on the horizon…” The eldest Shelby turned his head to look behind him, as two of Alfie’s man closed the doors of the bakery and Billy was quick to get closer to him saying.

“Arthur, this ain't right!”

“Billy...” Arthur started but was interrupted by Alfie.

“Billy, don’t worry mate. If you want, you can leave. If you need to go to the little boy's room, you can leave.”

“He's all right. He’s all right, Billy Boy.” Arthur said, trying to calm down the spirits.

“Do you want to leave?” The Jew asked.

“No, you I’m all right.” He didn’t sounded so sure, 

“You want to stay?” Alfie pressed, holding himself back from smiling - Billy didn’t imagined how right he was. He never really liked the man, anyway. Nor the way he looked at himself and Daphne.

“I'll stay.” The man answered, holding Alfie’s gaze.

“You stay there, then, treacle. OK. So, the Pharaoh, have you heard of him? He kept my people, the Jewish people, in slavery for thousands and thousands of years.”

“Persecuted race.” Said Arthur, trying to show sympathy.

“He did, he persecuted my race. The killing of the innocent, right? Seder, this feast what we is having here, right? Seder is basically the day when the Jewish angels decided, you know, that the evil fucking Egyptians had pushed their fucking luck.”

“Right.”

“It's part of our tradition, to do with Seder, right, that in order to make it good with God to kill a king, we have to carry out the Korban Pesach.”

“Right.”

“That is the ritual sacrifice of the Passover goat.” One of the employers entered with the goat, holding it in place for the sacrifice.

“It's a goat!” Arthur said, surprised, sitting straight on his chair to take a better look at the animal.

“Yeah, and we are going to sacrifice it. Tonight. That is part of the reason why we have to shut the doors as well. But this year we thought we'd give the fucking goat a name.”

“You've named it?” The eldest Shelby smiled, a little amazed.

“We fucking did. Yeah.”

“They named the fucking goat.” Arthur said to Billy, who still looked worried about the whole situation but didn’t said another word about it.

“After the evil fucking Egyptian pharaoh.”

“The fucking enemy!” The Shelby brother cheered.

“That's right! You know what we called him?”

“What did you call him?”

“Tommy Shelby.” After that, all hell break loose. The man holding the goat cut its throat, another shot Billy Kimber, and another two held Arthur back by placing a cloth around his neck, bringing him to one of the pillars and holding him there.

“Fuck you!” Alfie kneed Arthur, stepping closer to the man.

“That's right, let's take the load off.” The Jew held Arthur head between his hands. “So, then the evil Egyptian scum was finally cleansed by the blood of the Passover goat.” Alfie passed the cloth soaked in the goat’s blood between Arthur eyebrows and on his lips, kissing him on both cheeks and murmuring into his ear. “That's from Sabini.” They knocked Arthur out, the blinder fell to the floor and Alfie rearranged things to make it look like it was the Shelby brother who had shoot Billy Kitchen. Then he nodded to his men open the doors and the police came in to take Arthur. “The fucking animal. He come in here, right, with a fucking gun and a razor, he shot him in the face. My lads, they restrained him. Look at him. He is dead. Is he dead? He is fucking dead! He wants arresting or something, right? Surely.” It was done, there was no going back now. All Alfie could do was hope that he had made the right choice.

Taglist: @stressedandbandobessed7771​

[asteriuszenith]

VT Investigation Files: POI Files: Nocturne

(Masterpost)

Account/s

Blogspot

Updated As Of:

7/27/2020

With Regards to His Name

Nocturne is obviously not his real name. He preferred to use that pseudonym in order to maintain some anonymity despite, as he claimed, the fact that a lot of people already probably know his true name due to his whistleblowing days for a company like Montauk. I suppose it could also be a way for him to become more comfortable with sharing his own personal feelings by pretending that the anonymity could protect him from behind the scene.

Nevertheless, as a point of reference for my own files, I’ll state it here that his name is Vincent.

The name Nocturne has a rather interesting meaning behind it. According to google dot com, a nocturne is usually either a musical composition or a work of art that is inspired by, or evocative of, the night.

Vincent, on the other hand, came from the Roman name Vincentius, which was also derived from the latin word vicere which means “to conquer”.

The Nocturnal Archives

Nocturne created The Nocturnal Archives blogger account in order to record his journey on life after he graduated from high school.

At least, that had been the original intention of the blog before a certain event obviously caused an upheaval on his personal life.

After the death of Adrain Carter on October 14 2017, Nocturne became emboldened, or rather to be more accurate, passionate slash obsessed with finding the truth. What sort of truth? I think that originally, it was just to prove his mentor’s innocence with regards to the sexual harassment allegations Dr. Miz Cardozo made around a month after Adrian Carter’s death. However, the deeper he searched for the truth, the more he realized that it wasn’t just about proving his mentor’s innocence at that point but also beginning to pinpoint certain things that doesn’t add up such as his mentor’s research, the fishy events circulating around Miz Cardozo herself, and more.

Most of the entries in the blog contained some self-reflection and reminiscing that tells us of Nocturne’s inner thoughts as well as little facts sprinkled in here and there that told us more about what sort of person he was. Most of the times, however, the entries would focus on his journey for the truth, telling us with some frustration that he’s been encountering roadblock after roadblock in his search for information and sometimes, even when he got some intel, whenever he attempted to piece them all together… It always felt like there was something off or impossible about the information.

It’s definitely a very personal blog and for someone who gives off the vibes that he is a very private person save for when he is around people that he actually cares about, I’m surprised that he actually took the suggestion of his friend to create this blog and put it on public seriously.

Another thing that I’ve noticed on the format of the blog is that it might be heavily inspired by the House of the Leaves book written by Mark Z. Danielewski considering quotes from the book are heavily peppered in around the different entries especially when he’s getting in too deep when he’s talking about a heavy topic. Did he deliberately edit it like that? I don’t know. But I suppose I could always ask him when I manage to muster up the courage to actually talk in the comments.

On the Topic of Adrian Carter

Nocturne looks up to Adrian Carter. He’s constantly singing the man praises for his genius work and personality. He also admired Adrian’s parenting skills and his parent-child relationship with Cassie Carter, noting that despite the long periods of time when they’re physically distant, Adrian was still a hell lot more present in Cassie’s life compared to his own parents who lived much closer to him in distance.

As I said, Nocturne looks up to Adrian as his role model. He admitted in one of his entries that he practically worshipped the grounds the man walked upon with some self-aware light hearted humor:

“It felt like God himself had come down and was like, ‘hey guys, lemme give you some guidance in person here, face-to-godly-face.’”

I wonder if Adrian considered Nocturne as his personal student. If Adrian had been obsessed with perfecting the RedMan then he would have only allowed people that he trusted to influence the creation of the AI, right? So the good relationship between the mentor-student must have been a mutual one.

It appears that Adrian left behind his research to Nocturne or at least, Nocturne had been able to access the man’s lifelong research studies and projects as the creator of the blog had been expressing a nice mixture of appreciation, confusion, and frustration from what he was reading from Adrian’s texts. It appears that most of it doesn’t seem to make sense. He claimed that Adrian seems to have been looking for monsters in the dark judging from some of the ramblings he read through.

Still, Nocturne has nothing but respect and good words for his mentor despite his frustration. He remembers the man fondly and is very much insistent on clearing Adrian’s name after Miz Cardozo stained it with her confession.

Miz Cardozo

It appears as if the two barely crossed paths even as they worked closely with the same man. Nocturne mentioned that Adrian never worked with the three of them together, only ever working with him once Cardozo had gone home for the day (they were working together on RedMan). This claim might get updates if Nocturne will divulge more details on his and Cardozo’s relationship, if there is one outside of the loathing vibes he’d often give off whenever he talked about Cardozo on his blog.

Originally, Nocturne had stayed his tongue when talking about Cardozo after the harassment confession came out. It appeared that he was rejecting the notion that Adrian Carter would do such a thing and was also rather peeved at seeing how Cardozo turned a blind eye on how the world decided to treat Cassie as their newest scapegoat. He decided then that he’ll get to the bottom of these claims, find out for himself and for Cassie’s peace of mind on whether Cardozo’s claims were the truth. If not, he will let the world know of Cardozo’s lies and prove his mentor’s innocence.

However, when the news about Rosemary Road came out, all pretenses of politeness finally melted away from his mask and Nocturne basically declared war against Cardozo calling her a despicable person who had done so much disgusting things that it wouldn’t be surprising if they found out that she made that sexual harassment allegations in order to give her a better chance at taking Adrian’s place on the company as its new CEO.

Miz responded with a mocking, passive-aggressive post that called him a delusional conspiracy theorist and may or may not have peppered in some subtle/not so subtle threats at the end of his section in her answering post to his and Cassie’s callout posts.

Needless to say, I really wouldn’t recommend leaving these two alone together in one room as they might as well start ripping each other to shreds.

Montauk

Nocturne interned in Montauk during his last year in highschool and while he was studying in UCLA. During his time there, he must have shown a lot of promise to have captured Adrian Carter’s attention and satisfied his expectations along with maintaining an amicable relationship with the man to the point that he allowed him to work with him on RedMan.

However, as the years passed by, notably after Adrian’s death, the relationship between the corporation and this man must have soured enough due to Nocturne’s own digging into the company’s dirty secrets that he whistleblowed on the company’s shady dealings. Was the issue that he blew the whistle on the dubious experiments that caused the deaths of so many people? Perhaps that’s another thing to ask him in the future too.

Cabbage Girl

One day, during the summer of 2015, Nocturne burst into his mentor’s office without knocking in order to tell him about his progress on his tasks and met the daughter of Montauk in a humorous way that the head of the massive corporation introduced his daughter to him and created the birth of the fondly remembered inside joke slash nickname “Cabbage”.

Nocturne and Cassie are obviously close as they are both cohabiting together and are actually in a romantic relationship with one another. The man obviously adores Cassie, his dorky little love letter praising her and telling her how much he loves her in his blog is already evidence enough as it provided a glimpse into the man’s softer side that I believe is generally reserved for his cat, Cassie, and their friends. He’s also really protective of her which is rather cute, in my opinion. He’s been really supportive of her over the past years since her father’s death and you could see it or rather hear it in the way Cassie would often pepper in (heh) mentions of him during her stories over the months.

However, it does make one wonder if they both think that it’s just the two of them against the world as nobody or almost nobody is taking their side that Adrian Carter is innocent of the accusation that Cardozo threw at him after his death. From what I saw, the world even condemned Cassie for not ‘cancelling’ her father.

Thankfully, they are both acting as each other’s support system in their trying times and from what I observed in the tiny peeks into their interactions with each other in Cassie’s entries and Nocturne’s journals, they trust the other to drag them out of their own heads when they get in too deep in their own thoughts to the point that they were shutting the world out. I’m just glad that they’re not alone right now as what they are attempting to do would be nigh impossible without anyone they could trust backing them.

Investigations and Seeking the Truth

Nocturne seems to have taken it upon himself to investigate a hell lot of things in his quest for the truth. The Cardozo-Lawrence case, Cardozo’s Relationship with Adrian Carter, the thing with Rosemary Road, Montauk Stuff, Continuing Adrian Carter’s Research and Projects, and it seems he’s beginning to delve into investigating the Bureau of Unreality and how they seem to be innately connected to Cardozo and Montauk and the Rosemary Road case.

All I can say is… My dude, my man, you need to learn how to delegate this shit to others.

(Bold words coming from someone who’s also doing the same thing. Jesus fucking Christ, Robin… What on earth are you doing?)

No wonder he’s having a hard time seeing the forest making up the trees when he’s trying to take in so much information as much as he can. I can’t exactly blame him since I’m not any better but seriously… This is just one massive way to burn ourselves out easily. Anyway—

It appears that for every information that he gets, he also receives fifty more questions which would understandably be very frustrating for him and it doesn’t help that since this is something that could bring quite the dirt into light, a lot of people and organizations are trying to prevent him from being able to dig in too deep and sink his teeth into actually helpful information rather than being led away into another possible dead end via crumbs for intel which would equal to a lot of time lost which could have been used for actual progression in the investigation.

I would suggest finding someone they could trust in order to help them with the investigation but how would you even know if somebody is trustworthy when it seems like the entire universe is completely against you finding the truth?

How would one be assured that the person whom they dragged in to help would also fall for the same trap of getting stuck in the minimal details to the point that they start seeing and hunting for monsters and lies in the dark? Especially when you, yourself, are starting to fall for the same trick?

Honestly? I don’t know if any of us would have an actual answer to that question. You could go the path of the more people to help with the search for the truth, the better, but then wouldn’t that just run the risk of all of us suffering from a horrid game of Telephone? It’s just such a high risk thing.

Either way, it seems that Nocturne’s investigation did at least yield some intel as word about his determination to find out what the actual fuck is happening in the world is getting around and people have started giving him leads that did bear some fruit even if it also created more questions.

Your Cat Pictures… Give It To Me.

Oh.

Nocturne also has a cat baby named Truant and I want a picture of him, damn it!

Somebody stop me from spamming the shit out of the poor man’s blog with begs for serotonin shots.

[stahlop]

Once Upon a Time 2x11 “The Outsider” Review

Reviews 1x01 1x02 1x03 1x04 1x05 1x06 1x07 1x08 1x09 1x10 1x11 1x12 1x13 1x14 1x15 1x16 1x17 1x18 1x19 1x20 1x21 1x22 2x01 2x02 2x03 2x04 2x05 2x06 2x07 2x08 2x09 2x10

Holy crap! I’d forgotten that this episode happened so fast into the second half of season 2. Honestly, this seems like it would be more of a winter or end of season cliffhanger. Belle’s been shot and doesn’t remember who she is! Archie is rescued! Gold knows Hook is in town! We get the backstory of how Mulan and Phillip met (okay, that one I really didn’t need to know right this second), and how adventurous Belle decided to be in the few days of freedom she had between being Rumplestiltkskin’s maid and being captured by the Evil Queen. And someone from the outside has crashed into Storybrooke! Also, from this point forward, anytime Gold is with Belle, he will be referred to as Rumple since that is what she calls him.

Summary: Hook goes after Belle, who discovers his ship and Archie. In the EF, Belle meets Mulan and they go after the mythical Yaoguai.

Opening: Yaoguai

Character Observations:

Past Belle/Belle: So, I had this really long drawn out analysis of both Past and Present Belle written out that spanned almost three pages, when I realized that I could boil Belle down to bare bones. Past Belle is brave. She uses her book smarts not only to trick the Yaoguai hunters into believing that the Yaoguai lives near water (seriously, the thing is on fire, why would it live near water), but to also successfully find it’s actual habitat. She knows it’s nocturnal so she knows she can kill it while it sleeps. Unfortunately, for all her book smarts, looking down to see if a twig is there before stepping on it is not. This wakes the Yaoguai and she almost gets killed, but is luckily rescued by Mulan, who’s pissed at her for scaring away the beast she’s been tracking for weeks. Past Belle gets a little haughty that she found it in a day. In the village, Past Belle is almost killed by the hunting party, because they’re pissed she sent them to the lake (Past Belle is just pissing everyone off in this adventure), but Mulan comes and saves her. She’s impressed that Past Belle found the Yaoguai in a day and wants her help to find it again. Somehow they track it to a village that is on fire, but Mulan injured herself saving Past Belle, so she sends Past Belle to go kill the beast. Past Belle rightly tells Mulan that tracking/research is different than actually killing something, but Mulan gives some warrior spirit speech that inspires Past Belle. It looks like Past Belle might be setting herself up for failure when she gets the Yaoguai’s attention and makes it chase her, but she’s realized (or hoped) that water and the Yaoguai don’t mix, so she cuts down one of the water pipes and douses it’s fire mane. She then realizes that the poor thing is in pain and also writing Chinese characters that say Save Me, so she smartly throws the fairy dust Dreamy gave her on it, and low and behold, the Yaoguai is actually Prince Phillip. After hearing Phillip’s story about Maleficent cursing him so he’d be separated from his true love, Past Belle decides she needs to go fight for Rumple, even though he kicked her out and made her feel like an awful person. Unfortunately, the Evil Queen is waiting for her and takes her captive. Past Belle screams that she won’t stop fighting for Rumple.

Which brings us to the present, in which Belle will not stop fighting for Rumple despite the fact that there is nothing worth saving. Belle is so happy that he has finally figured out how to cross the border without losing his memories (Gold does not tell her how he figured this out). She goes to the library where Hook is waiting for her. And this is where the stupidity of this episode begins. Belle unlocked the door, yet she sees a stranger, with a hook, and wearing all leather in the library reading a book and all she can say is they’re not open yet? Then she finally realizes that it’s the guy that tried to kill her when she was the Evil Queen’s captive. She runs (smart) but he traps her around a book cart, so she throws it on him (smart again). Then she decides to trap herself in the elevator instead of running out the door. The elevator that can only move with someone controlling it from the outside. Not a smart move Belle. She attempts to call Rumple but he can’t hear her that well. Rumple finally gets to the library and Hook is gone by this point. He wants to go after Hook, but Belle tells him this is a problem for the sheriff. She asks about their feud and Rumple tells her it’s none of her concern. Thankfully, Belle gets a backbone and says it is her concern since Hook attacked her. Rumple reluctantly tells her that Hook stole his wife and Milah died and glosses over any significant details. They walk into the shop and it’s been torn apart. Rumple realizes that’s why Hook came after her. Hook has managed to steal the shawl that will let Rumple leave town. Rumple wants to go after Hook but Belle tries to stop him and figure some other way to get it. She wants to help, but Rumple berates her. He tells her to go back to the library until this all goes away. Belle finally wises up to how awful Rumple is and asks if he’ll put a spell on her to comply. But then he shows his concern for her and how he doesn’t want to lose her and she melts. Rumple gives her a gun for protection and she goes off to clean the library. Belle makes assumptions when finding a knot when cleaning up the books in the library. She deduces it’s a nautical knot, but if she’d looked any further than that, she’d see it could be used as a weapon or ornamentation, so that doesn’t necessarily mean Hook came on a ship. But whatever, she’s right, and she discovers the cloaked ship at the docks and stupidly decides to go on it without any backup (but at least she remembered to bring the gun). She discovers Archie and rescues him, but then, even though she hears someone on the deck, decides to a) put down her gun, and b) try to open a locked chest because she thinks the shawl is in there. Hook catches her and grabs her gun. Belle becomes an even bigger idiot by telling Hook she’s not afraid of him while he’s pointing a gun at her head. Now is not the time to be brave Belle! Hook gives her the lowdown about what really happened with Milah (the not stealing her), and Belle actually asks why Milah would leave him (have you not met Rumple?). Hook explains about Rumple being a coward and that Milah loved him and that he didn’t burn the shawl right away because Milah made it. Belle takes this moment of sadness to appeal to Hook that she’s sorry that she died but vengeance isn’t the way to go. Hook makes it very clear that Milah didn’t just die, that Rumple tore out her heart and crushed it in front of him, and Belle still doesn’t believe that Rumple is capable of that. Open your eyes, Belle! Hook wants to know how she can be with a man like that (don’t we all). She believes there is good in him (where?), she believes he’s changed, and she believes his heart is true (what the fuck?), and Hook’s is rotten, so she hits him with an overhanging oar which sends him flying, grabs the shawl, and heads toward the deck.  Belle is surprised when Hook beats her to the deck of his ship (because it is his ship), but Rumple comes to the rescue. He starts beating the ever-loving shit out of Hook and Belle starts talking to Rumple like a small child who is doing something wrong. Belle is trying to convince Rumple that there is still good in him and that Hook is goading him into being who he used to be. Rumple finally relents when Belle asks him to prove she’s not wrong about him (oh, but you are Belle, so wrong), and practically drags him off the ship. She and Rumple drive out to the border and say their goodbyes, but right as Rumple’s about to leave, Hook comes out of nowhere and shoots Belle, who promptly falls over the border and loses her memory. Well, maybe she’ll finally see who Rumple really is through fresh eyes.

Gold:  He’s just a complete asshole. Like, be evil, that’s fine, but his treatment of Belle is not warranted. Hook is completely right when he tells Belle he has to show his power and prove he’s not a coward anymore. There are only two scenes where I actually have feelings toward Gold: when Belle wonders if he’ll cast a spell to make her comply and he seems hurt because he doesn’t want to lose her, and when he’s trying to decide whether to be the man Belle wants him to be or kill Hook. Gold does a lot of despicable things in this episode. He pushed Smee over the town line to test his potion in retaliation for trying to send Belle over the line in The Crocodile, then he later turns him into a rat because he knows he’s working with Hook. Gold seems like such a classic abuser. He is constantly treating Belle like an object. He does not appreciate her mind (not that she’s using it very well), and he constantly berates her when it comes to how he is going to deal with things. He also chooses his words carefully when telling Belle things (like about Milah leaving him and how she died). They bicker more than they have good conversations. She’s already left him twice (We Are Both and The Crocodile), and he hasn’t learned to change either time, because he knows she’ll come back. He has discovered that with a certain potion poured over your most treasured object, you can cross the border without your memories converting back to your Storybrooke persona. Gold almost makes it to go find his son, but Hook shoots Belle, forcing her over the border so she’ll forget Rumple.

Hook: He’s just full of fun surprises this episode. It’s amazing how much depth his character pulls off. First he’s terrorizing Archie and trying to find out Gold’s weakness since Archie has no info about the dagger. Then, Archie must have told him about Belle and the library, because he shows up there to terrorize Belle. Once she locks herself in the elevator he apparently goes to ransack Gold’s shop to find the shawl that will help him retain his memories when he crosses the border. Later, when he finds Belle on his ship, he reveals that Milah left Rumple because he was a coward and Milah loved him. He should have burned the shawl immediately, but Milah made it and you can see how much having that shawl means to him. It’s something of Milah’s that he can physically hold onto. When Belle tells him vengeance against Rumple isn’t the answer just because Milah died, we get ultra sexy Hook with a gun. Seriously, the way he slides the gun towards Belle’s chest and then up to her forehead. Phew. Is it hot in here? The most seductive non-sexual scene ever. Unfortunately, Belle gets the drop on him (literally, she drops an overhanging oar on him), but he manages to beat her up to the deck, because it’s his ship and he knows his way around it. Gold shows up at this point and starts beating Hook with his cane. Hook seems to be enjoying the beating way too much, or maybe he just revels in the fact that Belle will see the monster Gold is and be done with him. No such luck. Hook asks Gold to rip out his heart and crush it so he can finally be with Milah, and Gold almost does it, but Belle convinces him not to. Gold tells Hook to leave and sail his ship until he falls off the edge of the world. Hook does not heed this advice. He follows Belle and Gold to the border and shoots Belle with the gun Rumple gave her for protection, causing her to fall over the border. Hook tells Gold that Belle may not be dead, but now she doesn’t know who he is. Karma comes in the form of a speeding car that crosses into Storybrooke and hits Hook, who goes over the windshield.

Mulan: We see that Past Belle had a little adventure with Mulan before getting captured by the Evil Queen. We don’t see much of a personality change between the Mulan we’ve met and past Mulan. Although she does talk about having to prove herself and something about a Warrior Spirit which doesn’t really apply to the situation at hand of Belle going to kill the Yaoguai. We do get to see how she and Phillip met though.

Henry/Emma/Mary Margaret/David: Henry is upset about Archie’s death and keeps calling Archie’s voicemail just to listen to his voice. Aww. At the reception for Archie’s funeral, the dwarfs want to know when they’ll be heading back to the EF. Emma reminds him that she and Mary Margaret just fought hard to get back to Storybrooke. Leroy doesn’t think it’s safe, plus, what if strangers get into the town and see magic? They’re also homesick. Emma decides that to get Henry out of his funk he’ll care for Pongo, in the tiny loft that houses the Charming family. Surprisingly, Mary Margaret and David are all for adding a dog to their family, but that prompts Mary Margaret to suggest that she and David move into their own place. Emma and David are surprised by this. Emma especially, because she thought after finally being reunited they’d all want to live together. I mean, I get where she’s coming from, but the loft has absolutely no privacy because there are no rooms. I’m with Mary Margaret on this. Also, with Emma’s background, I’m surprised she’d want to live with her parents considering she’s been on her own for 28 years. Mary Margaret says she did want to live together, but she imagined a bigger place, with turrets (love that line). Mary Margaret and David are looking at house listings, but David is shooting down every house she shows him. Mary Margaret realizes this isn’t about the houses. David confirms this by saying he doesn’t want to die in Storybrooke, he wants to go back to the Enchanted Forest. Mary Margaret tells him that there isn’t anything to go back to, but David wants to go back and fight for their kingdom. Mary Margaret is tired of fighting. David wants them to fight for what they really want, but Mary Margaret is beginning to realize they don’t want the same thing. Henry is taking them possibly moving out much easier. He’s making blueprints of what to do with the loft (including an armory). He wants the weapons to protect them from Regina, but Emma swears that Regina would never hurt him., she won’t let it. Henry is scared because she killed Archie, but Emma promises she won’t let Regina take him back. There’s a knock on the door and Pongo starts going crazy, and it’s Archie! He tells them it was Cora who kidnapped him (and he doesn’t seem that Cora is now in town after they thought she was stranded in the EF), and Emma is slowly realizing that Regina was framed, just like she thought. Henry wants to go tell Regina right away and Emma is afraid they’ll be paying the price regardless.

Questions:

It’s only been a day or two since Archie died and not only are they holding his funeral, but there’s a carved gravestone already?

How does Dreamy know Belle has only seen dark magic? She’s never mentioned the Dark One to him.

Why is Belle not more freaked out about someone in the library when she had to unlock the door to get it (the key is in her hand when she opens the door)?

Why couldn’t Hook get into the elevator? Even if he couldn’t figure out the whole pressing a button to open the door, couldn’t he have used his hook to pry the doors apart?

Belle and Gold have flip phones.

When did Belle have time to go shopping for new clothes and how did she pay for it? It’s not like Rumplestiltskin was paying her.

Where exactly is Belle supposed to be? The Yaoguai is a Chinese mythological beast, and Mulan says it attacked her village. Is the Enchanted Forest near their equivalent of China?

How does Hook know about the shawl and its significance? Is this one of those pieces of information that Smee just happens to collect?

Is Hook’s ship cloaked or invisible? Because if it’s invisible, there should still be an indentation in the water. But if it’s cloaked I don’t think the seagulls would be able to land on it.

Why is there a random box with sand on the docks? I don’t know enough about docks to know this and Google didn’t help at all.

Why is Archie calling out hello? Does he honestly expect someone other than Hook or Cora to be on the ship?

Is there another way off Hook’s ship besides the deck? If Hook was up there, shouldn’t he have seen Archie free and escaping?

Could the costume department not have used a magnetic earring for Hook instead of the clip on he’s so obviously wearing? The scene with him, Belle, and the gun was so amazing but all I could see was the stupid clip on.

What happened to the bow and arrow Mulan had on her originally? It’s never seen after she shoots at the Yaoguai.

So, I get why David wants to go back to the EF. It’s familiar and all he knows is being a shepherd and a prince. But why would he want to leave Emma and Henry? Does he think they would come with them to the EF? Why would he think they would go to the EF with them?

How did Archie know Pongo was at the loft? Did he go see Marco first and he told him where Pongo was? If so, why didn’t Marco warn Emma about Archie being alive?

Why is Gold planning to cross the town line at night? And he is planning on walking or taking his car with him? And if he is taking the car, how is Belle getting back to town?

Why does Claude tell the Evil Queen about Belle? Was she looking for Belle and Claude happened to be there? Did he seek out the Evil Queen specifically because of Belle? Was he working for the Evil Queen the entire time and knew she was looking for Belle?

What will Belle’s Storybrooke persona be? She didn’t have one before. She was just locked up in the psych ward for 28 years. I don’t think she even had a name.

Observations:

Hey, look! Belle is actually wearing something with sleeves, except it should be summer time.

We first see Belle the day after she met Dreamy in Dreamy, the Yaoguai is supposedly in a far off kingdom, so this whole adventure probably takes about a week.

The reward for the capture of the Yaoguai is 1000 gold pieces.

The library is finally opening to the public.

The phone in the elevator is an early phone, like the type when you put one piece to your ear and talked into the receiver attached to the wall.

Belle can read Chinese.

Hey! It’s Claude! Last seen on the pointy end of Hook’s hook in Queen of Hearts.

How convenient that the picture of the Yaoguai habitat in Belle’s book looks exactly like the one she finds.

Mulan needs a helmet that does not come off while she’s fighting.

The book Belle looks up the knot in is called: From the Keel Up: A Nautical Guide

The Monkey’s fist is a knot used as a weight making it easier to throw, or it’s decorative and used as an ornamental knot.

The fire in the village the Yaoguai has burned is in the shape of Chinese characters.

How nice that when these characters transform from some kind of beast they’re always fully dressed when back in human form.

The house listing that Mary Margaret and David are looking at is for a two storey (that’s how it’s spelled) house.

Emma seems neither concerned nor surprised that Cora is in town.

The license plate of the speeding car is from Pennsylvania and reads 2KFL-138. This is not how PA license plates read (I live in PA). PA license plates are ABC-1234.

Timeline:

So, this adventure with Past Belle happened a few days or weeks from when she left Rumplestiltskin’s castle. I’m not sure if she met the hunting party near Rumplestiltskin’s place and they traveled awhile before getting close to the Chinese village, or if the tavern she met Dreamy in happened to already be near the village. Either way, by the time the Evil Queen catches her, it has to have been at least a week. This is also when Phillip and Mulan meet and go search for Aurora. Now, considering the amount of tally marks in Belle’s cell from Queen of Hearts and going off those to assume that Belle was imprisoned at least 2 ½ years before the curse was cast, why did it take Phillip and Mulan that long to find Aurora when she was sleeping in her own damn castle? Aurora thinks she’s only been asleep for a year. Or has she not been cursed yet and Phillip and Mulan faced other challenges set forth by Maleficent?

This was another great episode, despite seeing the abusive relationship of Rumple and Belle. The episode was called The Outsider, and while I know that’s supposed to be the random person who drove over the border at the end, it also applies to Belle in the past. She doesn’t know where she fits in. She doesn’t want to go back to her father’s castle and be auctioned off for marriage, but she also isn’t ready to go back to Rumplestiltskin’s quite yet. Meeting Mulan, who is another outsider, gives her the push she needs to figure out where she belongs. Looking forward to the next episode to see who the outsider is and if Hook is alright. For a guy who could count the number of times he’s been bested on one hand, he’s been bested by Emma twice, Gold once, and now a car within a matter of weeks.

Please leave comments and reblog! Let me know if you’d like to be tagged in future reviews.

@searchingwardrobes​ @thisonesatellite​ @justbecauseyoubelievesomething​ @laschatzi​ @profdanglaisstuff​ @mariakov81​

[melodyfromanotherworld]

The Very First Webber-Eppes Family Christmas

This oneshot was written for my $5 patron CallieQ If you would like the chance of being chosen to win a ficlet from me, you can support me at the $5 tier on patreon!

“My family is flying out for Christmas.”

Don looked from his newspaper, not finding anything of interest in the sports section anyway. Faith sat on the couch, legs curled up under her as she kept her eyes on the academic journals she was using for some research paper she was doing. Something about the efficiency of different solar panel options (he remembered her mentioning stained glass that could be used as solar panels, which sounded like something out of Star Trek). She was clearly nervous about what she’d said, though, if she didn’t even bother to look at him when she said it. He glanced over at Charlie, who was on the floor, grading papers, and his father, who also had his attention pulled from the paper. Both of them were staring at Faith, which only seemed to make her squirm -- trying to shimmy back farther into the couch cushions like a rabbit into its burrow.

“Oh?” was all Don said in response.

“Yeah,” Faith said, twiddling her blue highlighter between her fingers in an obvious nervous tick. “Normally I’d fly out to them, or we’d go down and see my brother in Florida and go to Disney. But they want to see what California is like since both me and my sister are out here. But she still lives in the dorms...so I’m the one who has to host.”

Alan squinted at her in his typical fatherly concern. “But do you even have room to host anyone?”

Faith sighed, rolling her head back (and everyone winced at the loud crack sound that occured as her neck popped). “No. At least, not that many people. It’ll be my mom, my dad, my brother and sister, and my grandma too. We could maybe have my sister over for a few days, but we don’t have the room to have the rest of them over.”

“Yeah, they’d have to rent out a couple of hotel rooms to hold that many people,” Don agreed. “Maybe if they had come out while you were still working on your Masters’ and living out of that rent house you could have had them at least over for dinner but...wait. Do they know we live together?”

Faith deliberately didn’t look at him as she answered with a long, drawn out, and sheepish “No?”

Charlie snorted when Don made a noise of feigned offense, earning both of them a capped highlighter hurled at them. Charlie ducked. Don caught the highlighter chucked his way with minimal effort. 

“You could have them over here,” Alan offered, settling back into his chair and flipping the page of his newspaper.

“I love how you’re always offering up my house,” Charlie said sarcastically. 

“I love how when it was my house it was constantly full of chalk dust and whiteboards,” Alan returned. 

“I couldn’t do that,” Faith insisted. “It’s your house, and it’s not like you were going to celebrate Christmas anyway.”

“No, but if Donnie ever gets off his ass and marries you, we’ll be celebrating it,” Alan said. “So we might as well start now.” 

“Dad, c’mon!” Don shouted, embarrassed. 

Alan ignored his son, leaning towards Faith and giving her the Serious and Supportive Dad Voice. “You bring your family over here for Christmas. If you’re able to put up with both my sons, you’re basically family anyways. And that makes your family our family, too.”

Faith smiled sheepishly. “Remember that after you’ve met my grandma.” 

                                                    - - - - - -

Faith peeked out the window, immediately pulling back behind the curtains as her father stepped out of the driver’s side of the car. She turned back to Don and Charlie, smiling to hide her nervous excitement -- it didn’t work.

“They’re here,” she said. “Is everything ready? Where’s your dad?”

“In the kitchen, don’t worry,” Don said, reaching out to pull Faith into a side hug. “Everything will be fine. We got the live tree and everything.”

“You only got a live one because you didn’t want it to take up room in the garage after this,” Faith reminded him testily. 

Don gave her a crooked grin. “Your point?” 

Before Faith could argue, there was a knock at the door. She pulled away from Don, fussing with her hair for a moment before stepping forward to open the door. She greeted the group on the doorstep with a cheer, almost immediately getting pulled into a hug by her mother. 

“Merry Christmas! Come in, come in!” She said, holding the door open as her family filed in. “Everyone, this is Don, and his brother Charlie. Charlie has been super nice to let us use his house for Christmas.” 

“What happened to that Granger boy you were telling us about at Easter?” a thin, sharp voice asked from the back of the pack. “I liked him; he was a good Christian young man.” 

Faith winced, and Don was starting to understand why she’d mentioned her grandmother like she was a warning. She shut the door and quickly moved to Don’s side, as if signalling her new loyalties. 

“Mom, don’t be rude,” Faith’s father warned. He turned, smiling brightly and holding out his hand. “Joseph Webber. You’ll have to excuse my mother, she’s lost some of her manners with age.”

Grandma Webber made a noise of disapproval, eying the Eppes brothers like one eyed an apple in search of bruises. She was ignored by the rest of the family, who greeted Charlie and Don with enthusiasm. 

“Your house is lovely, Charlie,” Faith’s mother tittered. “Thank you for letting us celebrate with you this year. I’m Ruth.” 

“It was my dad’s idea,” Charlie said in a light, joking manner. “It was his house long before it was mine, and he seems to forget it’s not still his.”

Ruth giggled. “And where is your father? I hope you didn’t exile him in retribution.” 

Charlie laughed politely. “Oh, no. He’s just in the kitchen. I’m surprised he hasn’t popped out with food yet.” 

“Was simply waiting for my cue,” Alan said, coming through the swinging door with a plate of All Too Traditional Christmas cookies in hand. 

“Mr. Eppes, this is my mom and dad,” Faith introduced. “And this is my brother Ben, and my sister Hope. And, of course, my grandma…”

“Faith, please, introduce him properly,” Grandma Webber snipped. “His name is Benevolence.” 

Ben looked to the sky as if pleading for whatever powers that be to strike him down there and then. “Please call me Ben.” 

“I can’t believe you’re so embarrassed by your own name,” Grandma Webber huffed, crossing her arms. “I named you myself, you know! Are you embarrassed by me?”

“Grandma, can we not do this again?” Hope pleaded.

“I think I’m going to go back into the kitchen,” Alan muttered, setting the cookies down on the dining table before retreating. 

“How did you two meet?” Joseph asked, desperate to change the subject and redirect his mother. 

Don smiled lazily, and Faith felt better hiding in his radiating confidence. “It’s a funny story actually. How much do you know about her run in with Andrew Weaver?”

Slowly, as Don regaled them with the long, detailed story of Faith’s stalker -- with Charlie, Faith, and even Alan interjecting with details or side stories every so often -- the group migrated to the living room. Don and Faith sat on the couch, Faith curled up into Don’s side as the rest of them settled, pulling chairs from the dining room to accommodate everyone. Even Grandma Webber was captivated by the tale, her eyes narrowed as she parsed over every detail and twist. 

“--and by the time we got up there, Faith was standing over the guy with a baseball bat that I’d totally forgotten was even in that room,” Don concluded. “Didn’t even need me to do anything.”

“Well, I needed you to cart him off to jail,” Faith corrected. “And also to help me get through the absolute panic attack.” 

“Well, yeah,” Don said, turning to press a kiss to Faith’s hair. “But I like the ending that makes you look braver.” 

Before Faith could respond, Grandma Webber cleared her throat. Faith stiffened, squeezing Don’s hand just a little tighter, as she waited for whatever judgement her grandmother was about to pass down. 

To her surprise -- and the surprise of the rest of the Webber family -- her grandmother smiled. She reached over and patted Don on the arm, her thing, boney fingers giving it a squeeze. 

“You’re alright, lad,” she said approvingly. “You’re alright.”

[knbfanfic]

Could you uhm do a Takao/Izuki thing where they promised to grow old together but Izuki ends up getting alzheimers?

// -Gulp- Alright… It seems like an angsty day today. I’ll do it anon; I haven’t even written anything yet and I’m tearing up//

((Fanfiction net mirror: Here)) 

Izuki and Takao had been together for years, it was sort of an accident that they ended up together. Back when Takao graduated because his grades weren’t the greatest he pushed himself as hard as he could to get enrolled in a Tokyo Sports College, little did he know that Izuki from Seirin had also enrolled there. He found out about a semester in when he took an extra elective because it opened up. The two of them were in different years, but that didn’t stop some of the classes they took from being available across the levels. They had been stunned by the irony, after all no one expected two of the bird trio to end up in college together, especially because having the two on the same basketball team would open up a surprising amount of options if the first year enrolled. Takao hadn’t done that yet because he needed to stabilize with everything at first. Of course as soon as Izuki realized he had a familiar face he dragged him to the club to apply, and the chaos that lead to them dating ended up ensuing.

After Takao had enrolled with the club there was a mandatory party where the freshmen were integrated and accepted through various games or challenges. Things like the King’s game, truth or dare, or whatever else the seniors could think of. Given Takao’s outgoing personality he had no trouble easing his way in among the team, he was surprised by this method of introduction having come from Shuutoku, but he kept an open mind. Well unfortunately for Takao he got roped into a King’s game with some of the fourth years who were teasing all of the lower levels that Izuki and quite a few of the managers were part of. The senior was slightly drunk since it was an off night no one really complained, the instruction given was ’Number 10 must kiss number 5 on the lips without exception’ When they called number ‘5’ Izuki had raised his hand and ‘10’ was Takao, out of approximately 30 players, there were only about six girls so it was to be expected that it would be two guys, and since there were only a few fourth years in this group they weren’t worried about slighting their friends. Takao sighed softly getting up stretching “Utto~ You’re a rather demanding king-sama senpai.” Some of the third years thought that Takao would run away, but instead he walked over and knelt down in front of Izuki.

The fourth year had been prepared to stop the freshman from running away, the group sort of stared at the two in surprise considering they were both calm. Izuki had a reputation for being good with puns, but bad with girls because of the jokes, he was also known for being good looking as long as he was quiet he was eye-candy. The freshman drew attention because he fit in so easily that no one really knew how to handle him, he was already know for being personable and attractive, he’d apparently broken a few hearts in his few weeks at the school. Seeing the two of them so close caused the group to be unsure how to respond considering the instruction from the king and the calmness they shared. Normally the guys freaked out until they were threatened with a punishment. Takao smiled as he leaned on knee against the floor to properly get close to Izuki, he murmured “I’ll have to ask you to forgive me Izuki-san~” Then without hesitating the hawk leaned in, tilting the older male’s chin with one hand and kissed the eagle who was partially surprised. After a moment and several squeals from the managers Takao pulled back and returned to his spot chuckling at the dumb-struck king.

After the party was over Takao had caught up to Izuki to apologize properly, he laughed it off. It was a couple months later that they started dating, after training together constantly and getting closer the bird pair had become inseparable so it was natural they started dating. Of course they were met with quite a bit of trouble, although it wasn’t uncommon, it was still disturbing to some people, so they kept it quiet on campus pointing out they were just good friends since they knew each other from high school. They moved into an apartment near campus together to enjoy their time together by the end of Takao’s first year and they nested themselves in nicely.

~~Five Years After Takao’s Graduation~~

Since same sex marriage still wasn’t really a thing they held a small ceremony and got the certificate which was offered, they listed each other as family so that if any issue arose they would be able to step in without needing to involve one of their sisters unless it was super needed. They had a small party with their friends who didn’t critique them over their life choices. They both had graduated from college, Izuki had gotten a job with a marketing company, his attention to detail left him as an irreplaceable member of the team. Takao got a job as a photographer, his awareness of his surroundings and attention to the most minuscule details earned him recognition even as a rookie.

Some nights they were exhausted if they had late nights or super early mornings one of them would leave dinner or breakfast with a cute or punny note to encourage the other. They slept in each other’s arms each night even if it was only a couple hours, their relationship was made of cuteness, bleary sleepy kisses and cuddles. Their weekends were devoted to each other, at least one of the two days they would have some form of date and enjoy life.

~~Fifteen Years Later~~ //So they’re about 42 and 43 here respectively//

Around Shun’s birthday they had a small party like always and celebrated his birthday, 43 it was hardly old in the slightest. They could still play basketball, maybe not super high intensity like they used to, but hey they never were monsters like the rainbow squad. Though Takao felt his heart stop when they went to the doctor for their annual physicals. They would get their results together since they were for better or for worse together until the end. Thankfully Takao was a natural at hiding his emotions, although his heart was in his stomach his face didn’t show it. After all it had to be a million times harder for Izuki hearing that they wanted to run a few more tests, they suspected he was in the third stage of Alzheimer’s. The third stage was really the first point when it starts to become noticeable, and there’s a chance if it’s caught they can slow the progress with medication.

Takao held Izuki’s hand in his and rubbed his finger over the other’s knuckles as they went to sit in the waiting room of the neurology department. The hawk smiled and kissed the back of Izuki’s hand and squeezed it lightly. “Birds of a feather, we’ll always be together.” Izuki was rather pale but smiled and nodded “Always, we can’t fly the coop.” It was clear this was unnerving to him, but he was glad to have his lover at his side. Still 43… It was really young for something like this. Swallowing Izuki squeezed Takao’s hand more tightly, he didn’t realize his grip was hurting the other and Takao didn’t say anything, he just continued to soothingly rub his thumb over the top of Izuki’s knuckles.

After a half hour of waiting the two of them went in for Izuki’s tests, they did brain scans, memory testing, cognitive tests. Takao’s breath caught in his throat as he saw what the doctor’s could see, maybe it was because they were always together but he hadn’t realized the subtle differences until he was forced to keep an eye out for it. Slowly memories surfaced in Takao’s mind, at the business parties Izuki couldn’t remember the newbie names until someone jogged his memory. There were times that he forgot where he put things, so they had gotten a hall tree to keep their keys, scarves, wallets and such unlike before when they kept them at their bedside. Izuki who had always been a master with words had struggled from time to time in finding the correct word and got frustrated before picking a different word, his puns had become simpler and he read over his old ones more often than he made a newer one. Quietly Takao took a deep breath grounding himself again, right here was not the place for him to break down. He needed to keep his composure for his lover, even if he was kicking himself for missing the signs… With this disease every minute was vital or so he heard… Takao would have to do research on this soon, so he could be prepared. Izuki sat on the metal table staring at the images of his brain scan. The hawk wasn’t sure if Izuki could actually hear what the doctor was saying, the shock was clear on his face, so Takao asked for a print out of the results for them to review later as well.

After the doctor left to get the printout Takao helped Izuki back into his shirt and jacket before hugging him, stroking his hair and letting him calm down. He could feel Shun’s nails digging into the back of his neck, but he didn’t complain at all. These little injuries were nothing in comparison to the shock this was.

That year they didn’t celebrate Takao’s birthday, they just ate some cake to keep the routine.

~~The flow of time is never kind; Ten years passed in the blink of an eye~~

Takao had taken over all the finances by this point, unfortunately the trial prescriptions weren’t helping anything, and some of the newer drugs were too risky so the birds refused. They had moved from their little apartment to the house where Takao’s parents used to live, and Takao’s younger sister took the apartment since it was more convenient for her, since they moved there they took in Izuki’s sister’s dog. It was a puppy from Izuki’s old dog. Takao also made a studio for his photography shoots in one of the rooms at his house so he could work from home when it came down to it, and he got that signed off by the agencies he did shoots for. Izuki had finally gotten laid off this year because his memory was starting to affect his work. Considering their savings it wasn’t a blow financially, but the excess free time made things complicated. Idle minds dissolve faster than active ones, so Takao bought a lot of games, puzzles and similar hobby things. They spend more time together being close and playing one-on-one in the backyard.

The fact that Izuki’s number one subject was now becoming impossible for him to keep up with, and he was relying on his 108 joke books again was concerning. Takao was taking tons of photos of them now, he’d started scrap booking lately. After all, just because Izuki won’t remember doesn’t mean it didn’t happen. They had tons of memories from their travels, their life together all the way back from high school. Takao had hunted down the old magazines, newspaper articles from their teams in high school. He had gotten photos from Izuki’s siblings and his own, they had a table in the backroom that was littered with photos and photo books it was actually quite amazing to look at.

Takao had finally started seeing a therapist when Izuki had forgotten their anniversary, he knew he needed an outlet and that he couldn’t break down in front of the man he loved the most in the world. Alzheimer’s is an evil disease, it causes pain for those surrounded by it, but the ones suffering often get abused by their loved ones trying to force memories onto them. The scrap booking idea was something that his therapist had suggested, since they can work on it together, and even if Izuki doesn’t realize he was in the photo, Takao can still tell the stories about where they were taken. The hawk’s memory was improving from how much he had to deal with, he kept a pda now which he never did before. He needed to have something to ping him about the bills, the doctors, the photoshoots, heck he was close to hiring a personal assistant just to be able to manage everything. He wouldn’t give in though, he didn’t want an extra face. After all his eagle wouldn’t remember who that person was and he didn’t want to stress Izuki out at all. Stage Four was hell, but it was only a kiddie ride so far.

On Izuki’s birthday this year Takao threw a big party, he invited Seirin’s old team, which was fun to get in contact with at first. He had to use his connection to Kise to get Momoi to call Kuroko and help coordinate the mess of a party. Thankfully not that many of them had gone abroad, so getting them all together was relatively easy, Izuki’s sisters came as well and it was a big party. Takao was surprised when the rainbow crew dropped by at the request of the little shadow, he was still as invisible as he was in the past, which made the party lively since almost no one was used to the disappearing act anymore a lot of people got startled often. Their dog had to stay in the yard because she didn’t do well with new people, the only person it took to quickly was Takao.

Izuki had a good time reminiscing with Hyuuga, Riko and Kiyoshi especially. Midorima, Momoi and Kise each were worrying over Takao in their own way practically spoiling him while Izuki was being passed around. Akashi finally asked Takao “It must be difficult on you Takao, are you going to keep going like this?” Takao glanced at the happy back of the eagle across the room and nodded “Of course… I gave my life to him over thirty years ago… It’s my turn to take on the headaches, and the challenges…. It won’t get any easier, but I won’t give up Sei-chan” Even at 52 Takao grinned and had the face of mischief, though it had mellowed from the obvious stress line appearing on his face. He was starting to resemble Shuutoku’s former coach. Momoi swiped Takao’s phone and started programming their numbers into the phone “Kazu-kun you can rely on your friends a bit more you know. Midorin was practically glued to the library to research what Izuki-san is going through once I told him, so he can support you. The world might be harsh, but you’re not all by yourself you know.” Midorima was trying to argue the point, but was startled when Takao sidestepped behind him using his height to hide the fact he had started to tear up from that comment. He couldn’t vocalize a response so he nodded. Kuroko came over with a box of tissues and smiled a bit “Takao-kun, thank you for always being with Izuki-san. But don’t forget to care for yourself as well.”

Izuki’s sisters Aya (The older one) and Mai (the younger one) took that moment to bring out a giant cake, to celebrate the two birthdays. Izuki grinned at his sisters and shook his head “The cake is so happy about this, it’s in tiers.” As the normal straight man Hyuuga commented “Shut up Izuki” Though it lacked the normal bite, quite a few people actually chuckled at that joke, but like Takao there were a few who were actually fighting back tears, like Riko who slipped away to the bathroom or Mai who had her eyes closed at the moment holding a pile of plates. For a few minutes Izuki hadn’t been able to identify her, her husband had managed to calm her down, but he ended up leaving because his brother-in-law had no real idea who he was. That might be normal since they didn’t really spend any time together, but that just made things harder for Mai, so he went to stay at a nearby restaurant with some of the other significant others who didn’t want to be in the way.

Izuki and Takao had their hands intertwined as they blew out the candles that day. It was Takao’s little sister who was taking the photos of the party since Kazu-nii was part of the festivities. The smile that her brother saw in the photos later was the brightest he had seen in years, so he agreed to keep in contact more with everyone who attended the party.

About a week after the party Takao had to explain why there were traces of confetti around the house. Apparently he had missed them when cleaning up.

~~Seven Years Later~~

Seven was a lucky number normally, but it wasn’t forgiving this year. Shun was turning the big 60, but he had also been flirting the line of stage five and six. Takao’s hair was now a constant patient for Hyuuga’s hairdresser, he hated the grays that were growing in frequently, his level of stress had nearly tripled. Despite the fact that every year Takao had a party and some of their friends and family showed up, things were getting complicated. After all they had their families, careers and what not to handle. So it was lucky if one or two old faces showed up, there was also the passing of some of their friends…. Which Izuki couldn’t remember, sometimes he’d ask about why so-and-so wasn’t there and they’d skirt around the topic. After all, it’s best not to try to force him to remember things or push things.

Izuki’s nieces and nephews were confused when their uncle started treating them like strangers, and one of the little girls actually started crying because he forgot who she was. He’d given her candy to cheer her up, and her mother had to explain to a ten year old what her uncle was going through. Takao had been sleeping less because Izuki had started having night terrors, and wandering around at night. Each time it happened, Takao would help calm his eagle down and cuddle him or stroke his hair until he was calm.

One morning Takao felt like he couldn’t breathe, he hadn’t noticed Izuki had left. He snuck out of the house, it was the middle of winter and it didn’t look like he took a jacket. Kazunari didn’t even close the front door as he ran out of the house, calling friends that lived in the area to ask them to keep an eye out or house sit. Considering the dog was gone it was safe to assume she had followed Izuki which was slightly reassuring. The hawk might be just under sixty but he was still able to run when push came to shove, and although he would certainly feel it later he was full on running as he searched. There were about ten people out hunting for the eagle who flew off, and it was starting to snow at a pretty good clip. Neither of the bird pair were particularly warmblooded on a good day, and neither of them were dressed for the weather. Takao refused to stop moving, he checked dozens of places Izuki liked going to both now and in the past. Just as he was about to have an anxiety attack he got a phone call from Midorima, he found Izuki by chance. The hawk’s knees buckled and he collapsed on the spot when he heard that. Takao stayed in that spot sending messages and calling the search crew from that spot, he was shaking too badly to head home just yet. Midorima was bringing Izuki and the dog home by taxi. Kise who had a photoshoot with Takao today ran over startled seeing the shaking Takao sitting in the middle of the sidewalk, he helped him up and walked with him to a coffee shop to warm up a bit before they went back to meet with Midorima, Izuki and the lighting crew. The shoot was delayed for about ten minutes while Takao hugged Izuki and made sure he was okay. Apparently he remembered the old days of Seirin training and went out running along the course, since the hawk was sleeping so well he didn’t want to wake him. He was confused as to why Takao was hugging him so tightly, and the hawk played it off that he was cold.

Kise couldn’t help but pity Takao, who was doing the shoot despite the fact he had silent tears on his cheeks. Somehow even as a 'silver fox’ Kise was still radiant and didn’t have any lack of modelling work, his company almost solely relied on Takao at this point since they worked so well together. During the photo shoot Izuki was flipping through the photo books with Midorima, and the tsundere squeezed his lucky item a cat-shaped stress ball tightly as he realized the eagle couldn’t remember a few of his good friends. Mitobe, Koganei even Kiyoshi wasn’t safe… Midorima couldn’t help but feel ice in his veins, he wondered how Takao was managing this. Then again the fact that he had lost a bit of weight answered that he wasn’t coping well, Izuki still looked healthy and happy. However one question that Izuki asked almost made Midorima drop his lucky item ’I wonder why Takao is so nice to me… He always stays by my side, I’m not used to so much kindness… It feels really nice…. Hey Midorima, could you tell me why? Did I forget something again…? Hyuuga says I’m forgetting a lot…’ The rule of thumb is don’t force someone to remember something, and even if he answered there was a chance of denial, the tsundere was not a very skilled liar though so he just smiled “You’re very important to Takao, he’ll never let anything happen to you. That’s all, you’ve been living together for ages.” Izuki hummed he accepted that, it sounded like they were roommates or something. Takao and Kise had finished their shoot and had overheard that. Kise dragged the hawk back to the studio to help him calm down before facing his lover again. Through his tears the hawk smiled deprecatingly to himself “I have to be stronger than this… I already knew this could happen… It doesn’t matter if he forgets, I won’t forget him…. I know that… I do, but it still hurts…. Kicchan… what should I do?” The tears wouldn’t stop and Kise had to hug the trembling little hawk, there weren’t enough words to describe the conflict in that house. Even the lighting crew and the stylists who were cleaning up seemed to pity Takao who seemed to be having his heart torn apart today.

The very next day Takao barely caught Izuki again, he just hugged him from behind to catch him before he wandered out in the snow alone. The hawk smiled and shook his head “If you’re going out you need to bundle up Shun~ Here” He helped his lover into his coat, scarf and hat before bundling up himself and walking with him. While they walked Izuki asked the same question he had asked Midorima the day before, even though he was prepared it still stung. Takao smiled and poked Izuki’s cheek with his free hand, they still naturally had their hands linked together after all “Obviously you’re suuuuuper close to me, I won’t let you out of my sight~ You’ve always been super nice to me too you know~ I’ll always be by your side, no matter what, I won’t be sidelined” Izuki chuckled and smiled warmly, he didn’t really understand why those few words made his heart skip a beat, but he was ecstatic. Despite the snow the two of you walked a full circut before returning home with fresh donuts from the bakery in town. That became a new daily ritual.

~~Two years later~~

Alzheimer’s isn’t a disease that can be completely predicted, some people are affected very differently. The flow of time is naturally unforgiving, but for the birds the way it was flying had them caged in a dance like marionettes getting tangled within their own strings. By this point Izuki was now wearing adult diapers, because he couldn’t always make it to the restroom. And sometimes he forgot where he was going when he started to head to the restroom, his favorite foods changed. He no longer liked coffee jelly, and instead preferred more tart treats. Takao had learned the Heimlich as an emergency procedure, and had gotten Izuki a wristband with a tracker in it so he could find him, since he was sleeping less and wandering a lot more. Takao didn’t bring Hyuuga around anymore, because his constant aggravation caused stress for Izuki and ended up upsetting him quite a bit. So Riko would come over to dye Takao’s hair and check in on Izuki now.  

Takao refused to let the birthday party be solemn, and was constantly being the voice of cheer which caused more worry for those around him. Not even a week later Izuki got startled by Takao’s intimacy and shoved him away, he fell down a flight of stairs from the poor angle and ended up with a fracture. Still the hawk smiled and apologized, it was his fault. The doctors tried to force Takao to give sleeping pills or sedatives to Izuki and he yelled at them, causing Izuki who was in the waiting room to panic. Once Takao shrugged  off the doctor he used his crutch and hobbled out to Izuki apologizing and calming him down.

He was glaring daggers at the doctor. “I am not sedating him because of my clumsiness. It wasn’t his fault. I don’t want to kill him because you don’t know how to treat him. I highly doubt you’d ever consider doping your own family just because of a little fight. Just because he’s sick doesn’t mean I can force him to take something like that. I am not turning my best friend into a zombie to fit your ideals. You can go fuck yourself. Thanks for the consideration, but no way in hell.” Since Takao almost never got mad, the fact that his voice muffled as anything had resounded in the waiting room made Izuki think he did something wrong. When the hawk had come out and hugged him and soothed him he calmed down. Really he was like a little child, he needed constant recognition, he’d constantly need to be changed or cleaned up, he would forget things or be distracted, he might not remember things and get scared by intimacy sometimes…. But the fear mostly came from the fact that it was comforting, and although it was comforting, he didn’t know why and because he didn’t understand that it was scary.

It didn’t take long from then…. It was only a few months into the next year when Takao was down graded from friend to roommate…. Izuki was having trouble remembering Takao’s name sometimes and he was forgetting to eat even when he was sitting with food. He started having trouble swallowing. The eagle wasn’t happy, he was constantly agitated, he was constantly trying to remember things that were outside of his memory. There were a few more incidents where Takao got hurt, he asked Momoi to help him find replicas of glassware in his house with plastic after he fell into a vase and cut up his hands. That made his photography session a few hours later a bit difficult. Still he managed.

Weeks passed and summer arrived…. But although the sun rose, the eagle wasn’t moving…. He had forgotten how to breathe in the middle of the night. The hawk sunk to the floor at the bedside, he was too numb to even cry at the moment. His hand moved like he was a puppet making all the arrangements for the burial, the coroner, the funeral home. Phone call after phone call, delayed only by an hour when Takao had to work, he was completely numb… He couldn’t process it, he lost his other half… Even though Izuki had vanished months ago… He finally no longer had breath, it was sort of surreal, it was harder to accept than the slue of injuries that came from the confusion. The photographs that Takao took that day had a sophisticated and solemn air, the editor was surprised but didn’t say anything negative. Kise cancelled the rest of his day to stay and help Takao organize things.

Everything passed in a blur, it wasn’t even a week later when the funeral procession began. The final viewing, Takao and Mai stood faithfully greeting guests. The hawk was still pretty battered from his last fight with Shun. When it came time to give a speech the hawk reluctantly stepped forward, his eyes had a hurt that was incomprehensible in them, his heart was finally starting to move… This was it the final stage…. “Shun was a wonderful person, he was loved by family, friends, former teammates, coworkers, his husband and even those random people lucky enough to make his acquaintance, but unlucky enough to become targets of his puns. To him it was punishing to be unable to come up with a new pun, he was proud when he beat his 100 pun record, and he managed to continue to fly above it all with his eagle eye… Although toward the middle of everything he was diagnosed with Alzheimer’s that doesn’t mean we lost anything… After all, those memories lived on in his heart, even if his brain forced him to forget… Every day was a struggle for him as we reached the end, he was upset that he couldn’t remember his friends, family, lover or pet… So… Although it is heartbreaking…” Takao coughed as his tears swallowed his voice for a moment before he could continue “Although it’s heartbreaking… Remember he is happy now… Sickness does not follow us in death, so he is free… So cherish the memories of those dozens of puns, the games and the smiles. The happy and the sad… Because no matter what way, everyone present knew Shun… And he wouldn’t want you to be sad… He’d probably say that this was a rather grave situation and that he was dying to liven it up a bit, but he’s drop dead tired.” Despite his best efforts the tears were falling and his smile was forced, he was trying to give the best he could. A few scattered voices chirped in 'Amen’ and then the rest of the room did.

Takao finally sat down and started crying silently while the preacher gave his sermon, the burial would be a few hours later. The final moment was too much. Takao couldn’t stop the tears, and no one knew how to comfort him, they could only be there patting his shoulders or rubbing his back….  

[page-of-tales]

Frontier Medicine II

2k words

sequel to box clinic

The Ents and Zygaroon had never been friends. They had enough biological differences that they would rarely come into contact. Zygaroons breathed oxygen while the Ents metabolized fluorine. This distinctive difference alone kept them sequestered to different star systems. In addition, fluorine isn’t a particularly common element in an atmosphere so the Ents rarely colonized planets beyond constructing simple enclosed habitats on a few resource rich planets. Another contributing factor to the Ent’s general aversion to space travel

There is one exception to that notion, and that is the Progenitors as the Ents call them. Humans call them the Libenters for reference. From what remains of their civilization the latest hypothesis is that the Progenitors were a space faring race some millenia ago that eventually faded out into extinction. For the Ents the Progenitors are akin to religious icons. Half of their colonies are constructed on planets holding trace remains of the Progenitors for the sole purpose of archeological research. As the name suggests the Ents view the Progenitors as having a key hand in their history, the details of which are unclear to outsiders.

You can imagine the Ents delight when they heard news that an ancient Progenitor city had been discovered by miners. They rapidly set off en masse in a large fleet to investigate the ruins, in the process they chased off the miners. In short summary the planet was in a star system claimed by the Zygaroon. The Zygaroon didn’t take kindly to the intrusion and attacked. The Ents dead set on the Progenitor ruins declared war. Skirmishes erupted along their borders, and neither side yielded the other any advantages. Both parties had attempted to ambush the other by circumventing through Federation space, and instead ended up spotting each other in a surprise encounter and having a running space battle that stretched across several star systems. As a human observer would put it, “The neighbors were having a tussle in my yard.”

--

Davi had to fight back a guffaw. The embellishment to the memo had caught him off guard. The line sounded familiar, maybe a quote from a drama. A timer notification popped up on his screen and he minimized the files. Davi took a moment to take a glance to his left and to his right as he sat upright behind the desk. On his right sat the Provincial Supervisor Theseus, leaning back in his chair to stretch long lanky arms. On his left sat the military liaison, Lieutenant Commander or was it Lieutenant Colonel, Akers was sitting reviewing some data on her screen.

Around the three a cadre of staff and aides milled about. There was a quiet buzz as they passed notes between themselves and the door to the room was swinging open constantly. The lights began to dim as the meeting began and the voices died down. One by one a projector beamed images of the System and Planetary leadership figures from across the province onto the far wall as communication was established. Light years of distance cut to a few microseconds of lag, a miracle of hyperspace communications. Yet even with that convenience came the hassle of arranging the schedules of 15 individuals who had widely varying day and night cycles. That aspect of conferences would never change.

The last connection was made and for a moment the room was silent giving Davi time to look at the profile’s of the gathered leaders. Of the 12 local leaders 1 was non-human. 8 star systems were represented, for star systems that didn’t have more than 1 significantly populated planet the Planetary leadership and System representative were usually the same. Supervisor Theseus issued greetings and the transcriber began tapping on his keyboard signaling the start of the meeting. Sparing everyone’s time the topic of discussion was brought up immediately, the Ent-Zygaroon war, specifically the recent battle that had careened through Federation space. First off the broad strokes presented by the Lieutenant Major. A star chart was projected into the room and the liaison highlighted the intrusion points of the alien forces. Noting that the initial intrusions had been too far from any Federation force to prevent either fleet’s movement. Davi took his turn to note the Federation had logged a strong formal complaint to both governments, and was now moving to secure its border with both species. Elements of the Federation Fleet would be mobilized throughout the region, and further intrusions would be met with force. There was muted approval and easing of worry from the leadership.

Supervisor Thesues took the reins again and listed out some prepared guidelines for the leaders to follow. In general all they were asking was for inspection of current defenses, and for certain systems to prepare for disruptions as the Federation fleets moved through and about. The Ents military were to be given non-military assistance if requested, the Zygaroon to be ignored unless an emergency presented itself. The meeting was adjourned after a special communication line was established for any further requests or notifications in regard to the matter. After the last leader had logged off Davi let out a breath. The Lieutenant Captain flashed a grin at him, “You thought that was hard, here comes the media.”

The door to the office open and a surge of reporters with cameras flashing rushed in. Davi groaned under breath. He still had that Zygaroon to call. Today should be the day she was discharged from the clinic.

--

Flight Leader Tara stood at attention in front of the graves. It was a clear day, the sun high in the sky. At her request her flightmates had been buried in an open field. The tall yellow grass shorn to create a clearing in the center. Fresh turned dirt marking the site of the dead. Above the graves a pyramid of branches marked the site. The humans had made a good faith effort in the burial. Her flightmates had been cleaned, dressed in violet garments, and laid to rest with their weapons. A warrior’s burial. Tradition stated she wear battle wear, however only her survival suit had survived intact. At the very least her weapons, her pistols and blades, had been returned to her. For the moment it would do. Around her with heads bowed stood several dozen humans, friends of her rescuers. With the final resting rites intoned Tara lit the pyramid aflame.

As the pyramid burned itself down the humans came up to giver her condolences. This was a human tradition and she accepted their words silently. Last were her rescuers, the father and son. They didn’t say anything, merely standing beside her. Tara averted her eyes from the embers to look around. It was a good place to lay her comrades to rest, however momentary. When the war was over the bodies would be retrieved and laid to rest on their homeworlds. The humans had promised to watch over them until then and she knew they would hold to that debt.

At last she settled herself. She spoke through the translator. “We can go.”

--

Clark Woods waited for Tara in the waiting room of the Box Clinic. Today there were a few other individuals sitting around, waiting for appointments or here to have a doctor examine a weird mole on their back. Clark made small talk with the grocery manager, and to a parent of his son’s classmate. They were eager to ask questions about his new occupant, despite their inquiries he waived off any questions on his guest.

Tara in the meantime was stripped down and doing stretches for the holo doctor. Evaluating her today was one of the nurses from the team that had treated her that first night. The nurse was making some notes and asking questions about her health. Tara gave succinct answers. “Yes, her chest ached. It was a 4 on the pain scale. No, she wasn’t drowsy. No, she wasn’t allergic to anything on the planet yes. Yes, she was washing her wounds.” Fairly standard medical processing.

The nurse seemed satisfied and told her as much. There had been no complications with the surgery. At the end the nurse recommended Tara maintain a low level of activity making sure not to overexert heerself. She could pick up a package of various medications from the dispensary.

After the nurse disconnected there was only a brief pause before the diplomat stepped back into the room. He said hello to which Tara ignored as she put back on her clothes. He wasn’t put off by her silence and continued. The full script of the blood debt had been written up by the lawyers and he was here to orate the terms. She initially listened dutifully, however as he droned on she stopped listening. The stipulations were common sense and water tight, preventing her from inflicting harm or being deceptive in regards to her imprisonment. Tara hadn’t been looking for loopholes in her debt, and wouldn’t have taken advantage of them if she found any. To do so would have dishonored the spirit of the agreement and bring dishonor to herself. The diplomat finishes and apologizes for the delay, he continues by saying they have connected a communication to her people as promised. He points out that there is a minute delay because of the signal lag. He leaves the call button on the screen for Tara to initiate, before leaving the room. After taking a moment to groom herself Tara connects the call. An image screen opens on the wall, after a few minutes of silence the connection clicks and a Zygaroon voice comes in.

“This is Grand Overseer Maga. Report.”

“Flight Blue-243, Flightleader Tara. I was shot down in an Ent ambush and am being held prisoner on the Federation world Naranja.”

There was a long pause.

“I see. Are you being treated well?”

“Yes, the humans have provided medical treatment and adequate shelter. I owe them a life debt.”

Another long pause, one which seemed to keep going.

“Very well. Stay strong and persist Flightleader.”

With that the call disconnected leaving Tara feeling suddenly very isolated. Frankly the reaction of her people wasn’t surprising. Given her individual status as a prisoner of war her people couldn’t offer her much. Nor could she offer much to them in her wounded state. Fighting off the feeling of abandonment Tara turned and left the darkened room.

--

The drive back to the farm was quiet. Clark had seemed aware of her disconsoled mood, yet as always remained silent. Tara took the moment to look out at the passing scenery. Fields of crops. Of what nature she couldn’t quite determine. The fields seemed rather like an endless ocean, stretching to the horizon and with only the occasional copse of trees to differentiate the landscape. The quiet and monotony had an enchanting effect on the Zygaroon who only realized they had arrived at their destination when Clark pulled the truck into the driveway.

Tara’s cell was to be the unused spare bedroom. The bed had been modified to accompany her larger size and it now made the rest of the room look awkwardly small. The survival packages from her escape pod had been brought here and placed in the closet. Not that she needed anything from them. Clothes had been custom modified for her distinctly non-human appendages. The environment did not have any elements that were averse to her physiology. Bottles of vitamins were left untouched as her dietary needs were compatible with the humans.

Tara knew she should count herself lucky. Rather than being imprisoned she was essentially on vacation. It was… a conflicting thing to try and think about. Her schedule as a prison was loose, but regular. She rose a little after the sun had filled her room through the room’s sole window. In the morning she spent much of it maintaining the grooming standard of a warrior. She ate two meals with the humans. She would spend the day either walking the perimeter or resting in bed depending on the level of pain she was experiencing. In the evening she might play a game of Lilp against Clark or otherwise watch the sunset before heading to bed. The boredom felt much more in line with a prison camp.

She had asked how long Clark could expect to keep up this charade. His response had surprised her.

“The war won’t last more than a week.” Clark said with unwavering certainty.

“How long is a week?” Tara inquired, unable to bring herself to challenge the declaration.

“10 days.”

6 days had already passed since then.

[metalgearkong]

God of War - Review (PS4)

Developed by Sony Interactive Entertainment / Santa Monica Studios

God of War is not only a reboot of the series which has existed since 2005, God of War is a complete re-imagining of the series; not only changing the core gameplay, but its entire genre. Gone is the power fantasy of slashing our way through Greek Mythology. Now, we have an incredible adventure through Norse Mythology, but far more nuanced, meticulous, and grounded. This new God of War is more of a cross between Dark Souls and a Zelda game, more so than hack ‘n slash titles the series originally was inspired by. God of War is a technical masterpiece and also happens to be a great game overall. With this complete change of pace, it may not capture all fan’s attention, but as it stands, God of War is one of the best games of the current generation so far.

The concept itself it one of the coolest ideas for a story I’ve ever heard in fiction: the Kratos (Christopher Judge) the Greek God of War is traveling through Norse Mythology on a quest to spread his dead wife’s ashes from the highest peak of all the Nine Realms. I have never heard before of two mythologies crossing over so deeply, and the authentic execution on display is even more impressive. Much like how Red Dead Redemption got me interested in the Western genre, God of War has gotten me interested in Norse Mythology. This is one of the biggest things I can thank this game for, as I’ve already bought reference books and done online research about this mythos, completely captivated by its history.

Plot-wise, God of War is a bit weaker. While the overarching concept is brilliant, the actual beat for beat story is a bit less inspired. Kratos is traveling through the Nine Realms with his son, Atreus (Sunny Suljic). The drama between them is fantastic and subtle. The graphical detail, as well as writing, and motion capture have made their duo one of the best in gaming entirely. However, since their quest is so simple, it means this 25+ hour RPG has to keep finding excuses for the heroes to not reach their goal yet. Small obstacles keep getting in the way that force us to explore more of the realms, acquiring mystic and rare items from one place, combine it with others, and then bring it back to where it goes. It’s a noble quest to uphold his wife’s dying wish, but the protagonists (and the gamer) certainly go through a lot of trouble and danger for a woman the gamer has never met or seen (yet Kratos and Atreus’ affection for her is quite clear). 

Gameplay is methodical, using heavy and quick attacks with our sole weapon: the Leviathan Axe. This ice-based weapon is essetially our only main weapon throughout the game, but it has enough versatility and skill trees to unlock to make it a worthy weapon. Atreus is never controlled directly, but he can fire special arrows wherever we want, which, by extension, still makes him part of the player, especially in combat. Puzzles are equally dotted throughout every hour of the game as combat is. The new fighting system is a bit stiff and difficult to get used to at first, but the learning curve ends quickly. We collect XP to level up our abilities, and collect items and crafting components to upgrade armor and weapons.

This leads me to my only other nit-pick about the game, which is its overcomplicated menu system and abundance of confusing items. Spank me silly if I couldn’t remember the difference between runes, talismans, and enchantments for at least two thirds of the game. Every single items and attachment can be upgraded, but it’s hard to keep track of knowing if Kratos and Atreus are as truly optimized as possible with so many items and equipment. I’d rather it had been slightly simplified to keep the focus on the gameplay and story rather than scratching my head constantly deciding what is okay to sell and what should be kept for later. Either way, much like an action game, the ability to defeat greater foes more so comes from your skill as the player getting better at the combat, rather than relying on stats and special abilities (but they certainly do help).

I love how this game feels so new, yet so traditional. Things like locked doors and chests have to be passed up earlier in the game, and found again once we have the key or ability to open it. To inspire exploring old areas again, the developers creatively came up with the idea that the Lake of Nine (the hub area) constantly reveals more land because the World Serpent shifts his weight or lifts out of the lake sometimes, forcing the water to lower due to his displacement. We explore this hub lake via canoe and get to know Midgar (Earth) very well. The other Nine Realms aren’t quite as inspired, and tend to feel very similar to each other. Sure, one is “lava” themed and another may be “ice” themed, and enemy types certainly match their realm, but I thought there would be more variety in the lands themselves. I also thought I’d come across more foes and friends of Norse Mythology than we did, although there are many authentic scenes and interactions to keep a history buff surprised and entertained.

Aside from graphical detail, the game is also technically impressive purely in its processing performance. At no time (other than a death or firing up the game) do we see a loading screen; every cut-scene flows right into gameplay, and gameplay flows right into cut-scenes. Even going through doors from one massive area to another doesn’t force the game to enter a loading screen. This helps make the game immersive to never take our eyes off the protagonists, like an invisible third member of the party. The game uses creative techniques to disguise loading times while keeping you present with what the heroes are doing or saying. 

I also love how Santa Monica Studios clearly put all their effort into the single-player mode, and nothing else. Never did I find something blocked by obvious future DLC or microtransactions. This is a very big, pure, dense, single-player title that is a love letter to gamers. The developers (and publisher) did not sell out, which is an enormous relief to see from big gaming companies in 2018. Although a few of the realms were locked during the game, I suspect those might make an appearance in future DLC, I’d be happy to purchase and play those because it doesn’t feel cynical and greedy on the game creator’s part. God of War isn’t completely perfect as a game, beings none are, but its many technical, artistic, and gameplay achievements should be universally praised. We want more games like this, so vote with your wallet, and pick up this product. This game has incredible depth and value, and should make all fans of action, adventure, and RPGs extremely satisfied. 

9/10