#he's autistic coded your honour
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I really like how expresive Link is despite being non-verbal, but I don't actually know how being nonverbal works. Like does he have the ability to speak? If so how often would he speak and when? And I assume there being non-verbal is different for each person, like how does it work in general?
Yeah! So there's different degrees of being non-verbal! Some folks are completely non-verbal, some selective, and some occasionally.
For link I see him as kinda in the middle, leaning towards full non-verbal- Using words is overwhelming, but sometimes he uses them to be more clear or explain something that's more complex. But if he was to speak too much, he would feel overwhelmed, and thus not do good at his job/struggle to keep composure, which is how I interpret Zelda's diary entry from BOTW:
"Bit by bit, I've gotten Link to open up to me. [...] When I finally got around to asking why he's so quiet all the time, I could tell it was difficult for him to say. But he did. With so much at stake, and so many eyes upon him, he feels it necessary to stay strong and to silently bear any burden. A feeling I know all too well... For him, it has caused him to stop outwardly expressing his thoughts and feelings"
#he's autistic coded your honour#I fall more on the occassionally non-verbal side#when I am really overstimulated#and talking is the hardest thing to do#So yeah I think it's a cool reading or inturpetation to see him as Autistic too!
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sorry I'm not a photoshop master but would someone mind hanging this up in the SNW writers' room because I think we have all had enough
#Nimoy's portrayal of Spock is INTENTIONALLY Jewish coded and visibly queer coded#you can claim ignorance as a casual fan but as a writer it's your JOB to know and honour this shit#SNW has done ok with autistic coding of Spock but the erasure of the other stuff feels deliberate at this point#like cishet white nerd men want him to be like them so they make these bizarro choices that feel like a totally different person#sorry but he's not FOR you#he was NEVER for you#you already have everything else please just let him be the way he was intended to be#let us have one gd thing#why are the opinions of people who don't care about Star Trek's ethics and legacy more important than the opinions of the those who do#star trek#strange new worlds
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my roman empire is that dr ratio is deeply autistic coded and also is a character that revolves around loving people so deeply he doesn’t know what to do with it. can we talk abt how refreshing that is. can we talk abt how whenever a large media property says “this character is autistic” its to justify a bunch of ableist tropes but dr ratio is so Loving. do you know. how important this is to me
-pygmalion anon
i cant believe smart people live in my inbox like wtf these cool anons come and say hi to me im honoured. but youre so fucking right, his autism isnt a way to justify a shit ton of ableist tropes my guy is so loving and so caring even if hes so shit at showing it and hes doing his best i love him sm i (implodes)
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Hi MeowMeow Costume anon here sorry it’s taken a couple days for me to reply life got busy finding one’s honour is harder then I thought!
You want my autistic head canons for Zuko? Strap in for some unhinged rambling because I have ✨thoughts✨ this will be long
(CW: implied child abuse (Fuck Ozai))
Zuko likes music (Iroh mentiones he’s talented with the Tsungi horn) and his swords I also think he would have picked up dancing at some point with how he moved during dance of the dragons.
When he’s around people he trusts he emotes more with his face and masks less in general and I’d say if he felt safe enough he’d do more overt (for him) stimms like humming, minor rocking or tugging on his hair Iroh would be one of his safe people and eventually the gaang would be too
*I don’t think he’d have very obvious stimms in general being raised royal he’d be expected to act a certain way and hand flaps are not it. Also flaming 💩lord Ozai would have seen any aberrations as weakness and stamped that shit out fast
*I honestly think it could be one of the reasons the flaming 💩lord despises Zuko being inherently different would be a weakness in his eyes and reflect badly on him
I think he and May get along well because they’re both autistic and are a safe space for each other. she has trouble processing her emotions he has trouble controlling his they make good emotional counter balances
He cares so much about the people and animals around him even his enemies a strong sense of justice is a common sign of autism and speaking out of turn was the initial reason for his banishment.
He’s so socially awkward he doesn’t know how to talk with people instead of at them his entire pep talk to himself and subsequent introduction to the gaang when he tries to join them is peak “how do you do fellow kids” and his “that’s rough buddy” is as iconic as it is socially inept.
The guy totally hyper fixated on hunting the Avatar and when he could no longer find his purpose in it and realised he was wrong he did not cope
He has no tackt. none. and he takes things at face value and he hates lying his humour is also a little left leaning and he tries to relate to others and their experiences as a way of bonding.
While he’s not a prodigy fire bender like his sister he found ways around his limitations that helped accentuate his natural talents like his sword fighting (dancing would help with sword work) being incorporated into his bending (I don’t remember any other character bending with weapons).
He’d know a lot about tea from Iroh and I think he enjoyed working in the tea shop
Thank you for coming to my Ted talk!
I hope these make sense it’s kinda late now but this was fun to write thanks for reading my insane rambles :D
Also in response to the (non gendered) Prince! line you gave me so much surprise gender euphoria I cried 😭🫠🥹 sincerely thank you. I’m going with he/him pronouns atm but he/they is something I want to look into.
if you don’t mind me asking what are your pronouns?
I’ll probably send another ask in the next couple of days to annoy you with lol but in the meantime have a great day!
Sorry I took so long to get back to this, but damn I needed it today so I guess it's good I kept this in reserve. ❤
Holy shit, I can't unsee Zuko as autistic now. Like it's impossible. He's so perfectly coded to be on the spectrum. He's generally monotone, until he's not, and that's always when he's dealing with big emotions. He'd be a lip biter for sure.
Zuko doing dance as a stim 😍 the first time the Gaang sees him dancing when he thinks he's alone, they'd be so supportive, and have no idea what that would mean to him.
Fire lord Zuko infodumping about tea to some random person who tried to ask if he'd like them to make him some, as he heats the tea himself with his bending, and damn if that isn't the best tea that servant has ever had in their life.
Until next time my non gendered Prince Zuko! (Which will be in like, a few minutes, when I get to your other ask. Again sorry for the wait 😭 I'm bad at this)
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hey!! i just finished reading your fic “youre a walking disaster” and i loved it soo much ,, i think its probably one of my favorite patrochilles series, you did amazing :’> 🧡
i have a bit of a question though! somewhere along the fic, i kinda got the sense that achilles is pretty autistic coded or even neurodivergent, did you write him with this in mind? :0 either way, i thought the portrayal was really interesting to read and i kept bumping into specific parts thinking, “huh, these behaviors seem really familiar.”
anyway i dont mean to offend or assume anything, and im sorry if youve answered this question before! but i just thought it was incredibly interesting and wanted to ask ^^🧡
Hi!!! I'm so glad you loved my disasters AU, it really means a lot to me 🥹🫶
As for your question, Achilles is intentionally autistic coded in the fic! I have a lot of headcanons about this (how from a modern perspective Iliad Achilles' actions and behaviour can be read as being on the spectrum bc of his intense bursts of emotion, the way he talks and acts differently from the rest of the characters, his rigidity and strict adherence to rules and honourable code of conduct, as well as how blunt he is, among other things) and with Disasters I really wanted to extrapolate on those ideas while writing a version of Achilles that's more relatable perhaps than his mythical counterpart (whom I find pretty relatable as it is honestly). So you're totally not off the mark for finding his behavior familiar 😊
#patrochilles#disasters au#achilles#my little audhd baby with maladaptive coping mechanisms 🫶#love him forever and ever
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13 14 for ked tord and 15
13. Share a comic panel you like with Ted in it.
honourable mention to his appearance in world's finest which genuinely sent me into some kind of autism attack
14. What's your favourite thing about Ted?
you're a sick freak koby. you know that? do you know that? you know what you're doing here. you fucked up creature
i like everything about him. i like that his identity as a hero is founded on guilt and perceived responsibility. i love that this responsibility complex is a recurring theme in his life & that it inevitably leads to failure when he tries to shoulder a burden that he is physically/emotionally/mentally unequipped for. i love that he is a good person who genuinely wants to make the world a better place (the issue of his solo where he helps out that henchman comes to mind, as well as the genuine empathy he has for the homeless population of chicago). i love that he’s insanely smart and talented and does everything that he does with no powers and no technology that he didn’t invent himself. i love that dick grayson is jealous of him. i love that he made booster multiple new suits of armour out of love and because he knew that booster would go out there anyway so he wanted to at least protect him as much as he could. i love that he is disabled [sweeps current canon under the rug] and that he has a really good potential future as inventor/oracle for men. i also love that he is mean and petty and holds a grudge and loves to argue and doesn't like admitting when he's wrong and that he frequently IS wrong especially in interpersonal conflicts... i love that he is autistic. i love that both times he had an opportunity to tell booster his last words he made sure to emphasise that booster shouldn't feel guilty (because he and booster are both insane Guilt Guys) AAAAAANDDDD I LIKE THAT HE IS BLUE. OK??????
15. Who's your favourite family of characters?
come on now. CARTER(-KORD-HUNTER) SWEEEEEEEP i love the insane dynamics at play with adult rip mentoring his younger dad & living with his aunt and technically older sister meanwhile booster is retired and doing his howl's moving castle antics while sending rip elaborate ARG style codes that he needs to break if he wants to know the exact coordinates and point in time that their house will be at for hanukkah this year. ted is there too don’t worry about it. i love you
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hi!
could you answer
🌼, 🍄, and 🍁 for any character(s) you like?
Oooh, a good mix of questions!!! Thank you for being curious about my game, and I've very excited to share more with you!
Ask me about the ROs in my game
🍄 what’s their favourite outfit?
I'll answer for Hé'noür! Hé'noür has, by far, the best fashion sense out of all the ROs. They do have it a little easier, being an irhashal, as it gives them a little bit of leeway in what they need to wear. The Ahn'né are very practical people, so you won't see much of a fashion culture from them.
Hé'noür is a Sept, meaning they lean towards blue, purple, grey and silver, colours that are light and cold. Not much leather, but a lot of fur, and very large, ample clothing.
Their favourite outfit is a short-sleeved, long dark blue robe that wraps around the torso like a qipao, with a high neckline and a looser, open bottom half. They pair it with large, high-waisted light grey pants that wrap around the waist with strips of fabric. Then fur-lined ankle-high boots in supple leather. Then, a sort of short cape made of fur resting over the shoulders.
Here's what it'd look like:
🌼 what is their goal/dream?
I'll answer for Mehetÿl!
Mehetÿl is a very insecure person, hidden under a very convincing mask of confidence. She’s incredibly competent, and absolutely deserves the recognition she got, as well as her current post in the military. But she doesn’t lack for people doubting her, and that has been the case her entire career. It got to her. Enough that she has a bad case of impostor syndrome, and an unhealthy dose of self-doubt.
For all these reasons, Mehetÿl dreams of being recognised for the highly competent soldier she is, and the strong person she wants to show the world. She wants recognition, she’s desperate for the praise she rightly deserves. After that, her ultimate dream would be to become part of the Queen’s Guard, the highest honour for a soldier in the Ahn’né military.
🍁 do they have a disability/neurodivergence?
I'll answer for Olaÿ!
Although the word doesn’t exist, and it doesn’t work the same way as it does in real life, Olaÿ is definitely coded as autistic. His personality is deeply influenced by it, as well as his decision-making and expectations of life and social interactions. It doesn’t help that he’s a massive guy, with a truly frightening amount of power compared to pretty much anyone around him.
Like I explain in the TOTL Universe section, I started writing the book series in part to cope with my own chronic illness and disability, and it’s a central theme to the books, especially for the three main characters who are all disabled in some form or another. For that reason, a lot of characters both in the books and in the Shadowwalkers game are explicitely disabled or at least coded as such.
--
Thank you again for your questions!
Anyone else, don’t hesitate to participate in this little game ♥
#the ros#the shadowwalkers#interactive fiction#the oath of the landwalker#fantasy interactive fiction#totl art#totl#ask about the ros
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HAPPY STIMMING SO HARD AND SCREAMING THIS IS SO AMAZING THANKK YOU
AAAAAAAHHHHH This touched my little heart more than I can express in one keysmash. I follow your blog because I absolutely love your takes on the characters and your dedication to your writing. I honestly have so much respect for you as a writer so to see you show interest in my art makes me so incredibly happy. I am honoured that you not only take the time to read my fic but also respond with your opinions and have a discussion with me!! I love sharing my work with other people and I love to have it analysed and just wow this is everything to me so THANK YOU SO SO MUCH!!! *Jumps up and down and squeals*
Responding with more Thoughts because I love talking about my fanfics and I LOVE it when people are interested in them.
- Leo using hearing aids is my favourite hc and the fact that it’s not canon pisses me off. It’s a great way to show the lasting effects of the battle with Gaea (and the whole theme of learning to live with the damage of being a demigod instead of avoiding it) and it’s also a good way for some more disability rep! I’m not deaf myself, but I tried to do my best to do the hc justice as authentically as I could. Also Jason knowing all of Leo’s languages, including ASL, morse code, and Ancient Greek is just everything to me.
- Jason “My husband is better than Beyoncé” Valdez is the idea that started this whole fic. Just loving life, and appreciative of everything in it. Loving Leo so fucking much and making a point of SHOWING it- knowing that that kinda love is something Leo never got a lot of (which is why I put an emphasis on Leo’s bio family). I thought it would be a great way to explore the whole “names have power” thing. And also Jason just being happy to be alive. Demigods don’t usually make it this far, and Jason is appreciative every day that he made it. (Because, of course, canonically he didn’t)
- I often make Leo the main comfortee bc he is the guy I project myself onto most and I just wanna be Held. But I wanted to give Jason his moment (I was in the middle of reading the Burning Maze when I wrote that, so I felt like he needed that little relief). I also love how Leo’s solution to everything is Ice Cream- I felt like that was in character for Mr “Focus on what you CAN do to fix the problem” and also so me.
- Literally the only reason I wrote that Christmas scene was just so that Leo could call Thalia his “sister-in-law”. I love characters with the dynamic of “I will threaten you with a knife but, like, as a sign of affection” and Leo is completely unfazed bc he knows that and he’s just “I love you too”. It really shows how much Leo’s integrated himself in Jason’s life that Leo and Thalia are totally comfortable with each other as brother and sister.
- That wedding conversation on the balcony was so REAL and RAW to write. Out of all the moments in this fic, this felt the most realistic and like a conversation I might actually have. I am someone who experiences overstimulation which can stop me from taking part in big events, even if it’s something I wanna enjoy like a wedding. I love that I can give Leo that visual representation of the fire, and the power-suppressing clothes being a metaphor for sensory issues, and I love that he now has that growth of giving himself space to let it out instead of bottling up his powers like he canonically did- he didn’t use them at all in the years between his mom’s death and coming to chb. I used to heavily mask and am in the process of trying to undo that- actually allowing myself to have a meltdown every once in a while instead of trying to suppress it. Leo still forcing himself to wear clothes he’s uncomfortable in for the “safety” of others (or rather- convenience. For me, it can sometimes feel like my autistic traits are somehow causing others harm), but recognising that he needs to give himself space sometimes is so relatable aaaand these are all things I didn’t even realise I was writing into the fic until I typed this now. The things you can learn about yourself through fanfiction!
- The glitch situation genuinely made me have to stop and consider the consequences of my actions. But I couldn’t Unthink the thought so I had to follow through with it. I did genuinely need to lie down for a full minute after writing it, though. A lot of “whyyy did I do that?” But I love that it’s sorta reminiscent of that “what if they’ve actually been dreaming/hallucinating/in a mental institution and none of this ever happened” trope in fantasy that I fear we’ve lost with the death of filler episodes. I love things that make the audience THINK. Also it covers any plot-holes, like the fact that Harley was described like he was still a kid even though chronologically he should be in his twenties by now. Or that vague explanation as to why Jason came back.
- The thing I love about Penny is that I know absolutely fucking nothing about her. The only thing I know for sure is that she is the SASSIEST person alive. And Jason is fond of her despite the fact that she teases him mercilessly. However- I did have a few thoughts on her maybe being a child of Vulcan? The Roman counterparts of Hephaestus kids aren’t talked about much, so it would be fun to explore. I also think Leo developing an older brother/surrogate dad energy would be so cute, especially if I expand upon them wanting kids. But I love the idea of Valgrace being “my mentor and his weird Professor husband that hang around and are cute together and seem to think they’re my dads”
- Extended Grace family would be fun to write, especially exploring whole “Names have power” “Nature vs Nurture” “You are more than who you’re related to” that’s already a theme in the Riordanverse. Jason still finding his place. But also them being super nice and accepting of Leo as part of their family and Leo being a bit baffled by the whole thing because “Unconditional Love? What’s that?”
- I loved writing that ending. I didn’t want to dismiss their trauma and everything they went through bc that would just be an unsatisfying payoff to the hoo and toa books (*cough cough* Caleo) but instead learning to live through it together. Honestly you understood everything I was trying to achieve when writing this entire fic.
- Also, is it still Valgrace if Jason’s changed his last name? Just a thought.
I’d write more, but this fic is so long that my keyboard is starting to lag.
For real, though, your takes hit EXACTLY what I wanted people to take away from the fic, so it’s really good to know that my writing gave the desired effect to at least one person. The lines and themes you picked out were all the ones I’m proudest of and your analysis of them was spot on. This genuinely meant so much to me. Again, thank you so much!
Guys… it’s finally here.
After almost three months of working on it, my largest fic ever is finally finished- currently clocking in at around 15k words!!
This is a collection of short stories about “Domestic life with Leo and Jason” and the beautiful things that come out of that- I give this as my gift to the Valgrace community as a reminder that happy endings can happen, just sometimes we have to create them ourselves.
CW: Swearing, brief talk of homophobia, a little bit of angst sprinkled in for good measure.
Word count: 15,580!!
“Violets and Marigolds”
Married Valgrace AU
Jason sat on the warehouse roof, watching the sun rise. His legs dangled off the side. He felt something brush gently against his ankle, and he saw the sole of Leo’s scuffed-up brown Doc Marten work-boot knock a little against his sneaker in the soft swing of Leo’s legs. The pale golden light of dawn glinted on the windows below them. Jason looked up and smiled at Leo.
Sure, insomnia’s a bitch. But Jason didn’t care when the man he loved was sitting next to him and smiling. He knew that he could get through the sleepless nights and he knew that dawn will always come after, no matter what. Whatever happens, the sun will rise. And Leo would be next to him.
They would always have each other.
Jason interlaced his fingers with Leo’s. It was a new day. He didn’t know what it would bring. But he knew he could count on seeing Leo’s face at the end of it, and the start of the next one.
Jason sat down in front of the interviewer.
“Jason Valdez.”
“That’s my name.”
She squinted at the paper and then studied him, “You don’t look like someone whose last name would be something like Valdez.”
Jason stifled a grumble. He hated when people pointed that out. Why couldn’t they keep their nose out of it?
“…Not that it’s any of your business,” Jason said, as calmly and respectfully as he could, “But I took my husband’s last name when I got married.” To emphasise his point, he casually put his hands on the desk in front of him so that his wedding ring was in full view. It was made of a special alloy of both imperial gold and celestial bronze, and carved with intricate designs. Jason loved to show it off.
The interviewer looked at Jason over the top of her thick-framed glasses, “Why?”
“Well…” Jason really didn’t like this woman, but he had to be professional. He decided blunt honesty was the best tactic to shut her up, “I didn’t have the best relationship with my mother. And I’d rather her name wasn’t a part of my identity. My husband, though, I love very much, and I want a piece of him to be with me. Now this job-“
“So, your husband…” The interviewer continued, “Is he any relation to Leo Valdez, the Greek demigod who launched a missile attack on New Rome?”
“You mean the Greek demigod that sacrificed his life to stop Gaea and save the world? Yes, that’s him,” Jason was getting properly annoyed. This was an interview for a job, not a dating profile. She didn’t need to know what went on in his private life.
“But he did launch the attack?”
“He. Was. Possessed.” Jason growled, “By an eidolon. Working for Gaea. He was not in control of his actions. Plus, that was fourteen years ago. Plus, some of Camp Jupiter’s top Praetors themselves saw to it that he was pardoned. His name is cleared, meaning my name is cleared. Now, can we talk about my credentials?”
“I didn’t get the job!” Jason said, dropping his bag by the door and throwing himself onto the couch.
“Oh no!” Leo said, looking up from where he was sitting, cross-legged on the carpet, a collection of sketches and blueprints spread out in front of him.
Jason waved his hand, dismissively, “It’s fine. I didn’t want it anyway. The interviewer gave me a bad vibe.” Jason didn’t mention that Leo’s name had come up in the interview- or that that was the reason why he hadn’t landed the job. It wasn’t Leo’s fault. They knew that living in New Rome might cause some problems, but it was the only decent place to find demigod work, and it wasn’t like Jason was gonna stop being married to Leo.
“How was your day?”
Leo turned back to the mess before him, and started shuffling papers around. “I got a few new commissions in,” He said, “A design for a carseat that massages you. Washing machines with legs. That kinda thing,” He turned back around, “Plus your standard swords, shields, the odd axe. Nothing new there. I’ll head down to the warehouse tomorrow and start working on those.”
“Don’t overwork yourself, amorsito.”
“I’ve had to take on a few extra stuff while you’ve been looking at jobs,” Leo said, “I’m the breadwinner in this household. We gotta pay bills somehow.”
As he talked, he began to fiddle with his hearing aid (He’d needed them ever since the explosion). Jason knew that he only did that when he was really agitated. He switched to ASL.
“Don’t play with that,” Jason signed.
“Sorry,” Leo signed back. He left the device alone and started fidgeting with his wedding ring- twisting it round and round, swapping it between fingers, spinning it on the table. Jason could tell something was wrong.
“What’s up?” He said in English.
“It’s nothing,” Leo replied.
“Querido…” Jason chided, “What is it?”
“It’s nothing… it’s-it’s silly, really. It’s not worth mentioning.”
Jason sat back on the sofa with his arms crossed, a patient expression on his face.
“Okay, fine! It’s just… something you said yesterday kinda… is still on my mind.”
Jason leaned forward, “What did I say, mi estrella?”
“You said… you know how we were talking about you getting a job? And how you wanted to make money to settle down for the future? Like- what did you mean by that, because it seemed like you meant…”
Leo trailed off, not making eye contact with Jason. He bounced his leg up and down so hard that the coffee table next to him was buzzing. He kept on passing his wedding ring between one hand and the other. He reached up to touch his ear again, but then he caught himself and quickly brought his hand down. He kept fidgeting with the ring.
“Do you… do you want kids, Jason?”
Jason was kind of taken aback by the bluntness of the question. He hadn’t meant to broach the whole subject of children to Leo. Not yet. But he’d been lying if he said the answer was anything other than yes, “Well… yeah, eventually. I mean, not right now, obviously, but someday. I’ve always imagined myself as a dad. And with Percy and Annabeth having their baby, and Nico and Will announcing that they’re Trying, it kinda got my head spinning a bit.”
Leo didn’t respond. His eyes were fixed on a spot on the wall in front of him. His leg was jiggling violently now.
“Why? Do you… not want kids?” Jason asked, a little scared to hear the answer.
“I don’t- I don’t know. I mean, I’ve never really seen myself as a dad. I’ve always thought I’d just have my machines. I guess… you don’t think the Roomba is enough, do you?”
Jason shook his head, “No, cariño… I don’t think a Roomba equates to having a child…”
“Why can’t we just be the cool gay uncles? Someone’s gotta do that now that Nico and Will are becoming parents.”
“We can do that, if you want,” Jason said, “But wouldn’t it be so cool to make our family bigger? I get it if you don’t want to bring a child into this world, but we could always adopt- don’t you want to give some poor kid a chance to have the home that you never got?”
There were ways for two male demigods to have biological kids- divine conception and all that. It took a lot of praying and sacrificing to the Gods, but if you were on their good side they’d allow it. That was the route Nico and Will had chosen. It wouldn’t be hard to get their approval- Hera definitely owed them one.
“But we’re demigods,” Leo said, “Life is dangerous for us. I don’t wanna put an innocent kid in harm’s way by inviting it into our lives.”
“I get that,” Jason said, “I really do. But we’re safe in New Rome. Lots of demigods raise families here.”
“I don’t know, Jason…”
“Okay. That’s fine. You don’t have to know everything right now.”
“But… but what if it turns out we want different things? What if I realise, years from now, that “actually no, I definitely don’t want kids” and you realise that “actually yeah, I really do” and then you divorce me for some girl named Tiffany, who has a really weird laugh like a cross between a hyena and a pig but she’s got this really fertile oven and she gives you triplets and I’m left to die alone, only talking to my machines and slowly going crazy? Huh, Jason? What then?”
Jason thought about that for a moment, “But that’s the thing- I don’t want to have kids with Tiffany. The only person I’d ever want to raise a child with is you, mi cielo. That’s who I want on my team. If you don’t want to, then I don’t want to either.”
“So… you’re not gonna leave me for Tiffany?”
“Listen to me, Leo, mi vida.” Jason grabbed Leo’s hand, and Leo’s leg stopped bouncing so much, “Tiffany’s not real. You made her up. And if she was, she sounds like a real bitch. No one compares to you.”
Leo nodded, “Thanks… I-I needed to hear that.”
“Come on,” Jason said, “I’m hungry. Let’s have dinner.”
“I’m cooking again? Man, I’m both the housewife and the breadwinner. What are you?”
The next few interviews were a bust. Eventually, Jason applied for a job as a Roman History professor at NRU.
He shifted in his seat as the interviewer scanned him up and down.
“Wow, I mean… you’re the Jason Grace!” She exclaimed.
“Jason Valdez, actually. I got married.”
“But still… You’re well known across all of New Rome. You slew the Trojan Sea-monster! You toppled the black throne of Kronos and slew the Titan Krios with your bare hands at fifteen! You played a pivotal role in the Second Giant War and helped to defeat Gaea! And again, fought to take down the Triumvirate. You’re an absolute legend!” She looked down at Jason’s resumé, “I don’t even need this. If you want the job, it’s yours.”
“I’d like to be given a fair chance, just like the rest.”
“Noble as ever,” She said, awestruck. She tapped the paper, “Well, this is still impeccable. Top grades at New Rome University. Praetor of the first legion. Pontifex Maximus. Twenty-four years of service in the Fifth Cohort. You’re fluent in Latin, Spanish, Ancient Greek, and American Sign Language. Glowing references from multiple gods. Yeah. You’re hired.”
“Really? Are you sure?”
“I mean, standard interview questions, yadda yadda yadda- why do you want the job?”
“Umm… well, I’d love to teach. I love being a role model, and supporting young people. And I love Roman History. My husband always jokes about me becoming a Professor.”
“Well you certainly are a role model,” The interviewer said, “Kids look up to you and the rest of the Seven from the Prophecy. You’re heroes to them. It would honestly be a privilege to have you as part of our faculty, and really help the students feel like they can achieve things.”
“That’s… that’s great to hear.”
The interviewer grinned, and stretched out her hand for Jason to shake, “Term starts in September. Welcome to the team.”
“Gah!”
The yelp woke Jason up. He stirred, and saw Leo sitting up in bed, hugging his arms to his chest, drenched in sweat and shivering.
“Leo…?” Jason grumbled. He sat up, and wrapped his arms around Leo’s shoulders. Leo drew in a shaky breath. “What is it?” He made sure to whisper it close to Leo’s good ear, since Leo had taken off his hearing aid before bed.
“N-Nothing… bad dream… go back to sleep.”
Jason moved his arms so that he was now gripping Leo’s shoulders, gently but firmly.
“Mi alma, you’re shaking.”
“…It’s cold.”
“You’re basically a human radiator, Leo. You don’t get cold,” Leo’s skin was hotter than usual, which was saying something. It felt like a toaster that had just been switched off.
Leo stopped digging his nails into his arms and held his hands out in front of him, as if making sure they were really there.
“Did you have another flashback?” Jason asked.
“I… I…”
“The night you died?”
Leo nodded, his breathing was still choked and choppy.
“It’s okay, Leo. You’re alive. You’re here. You’re safe. And I love you, mi vida, mi preciosa vida.”
“I’m… I’m alive,” Leo repeated. He looked again at his hands, studying the lines on his palms, “I’m alive.”
Jason moved again, this time hugging Leo’s middle, squeezing it tightly. Leo let out a sob.
Leo put a hand over his heart, like he needed to remind himself that it was still beating. He closed his eyes, and let out a long breath. He seemed to compose himself a little.
“It’s okay…” Jason whispered, although he wasn’t sure Leo could hear him without his hearing aid- he was completely deaf in his right ear, and had chronic tinnitus in his left, a small side-effect of blowing up.
Leo’s breathing was still irregular and shaky, but Jason could feel his heart slow, and his temperature cool down.
“Leo?” Jason asked, after a while.
“Hmm?”
“Is it me, or… are the night terrors… getting worse?”
Leo hesitated, then nodded. “It’s happening most nights, now. I can usually sleep through them, but…”
“Is it just that night, or…”
“No, mi sol. It’s other stuff. Trauma is trauma-ing.”
Jason unwrapped his arms from Leo’s waist and shuffled forwards, so they were sitting side-by-side, cross-legged on the bed.
“Talk to me, bello.”
Leo looked at Jason in that sad way Jason had come to know. It broke his heart a little every time he saw the pain in Leo’s eyes.
“It’s… it’s hard, mi estrella. My life did end that day. And while I’m so, so happy that I got it back… it’s hard to process what happened. That’s what I think the dreams are for- my brain trying to process it all. But… it’s hard. Because, for a moment, the blood lay still in my veins. My heart stopped beating. It’s hard to imagine busy old me lying dead, but…”
“You haven’t slowed down since then,” Jason observed, “And you never did before that. Your whole life- both of them- you’ve spent them constantly moving, never staying still. If you didn’t even stop in death, then when will you?”
Leo sighed, and fidgeted with the fabric of the bedsheets.
“I think your body is telling you it’s time to rest, amor mio,” Jason told him, “You’ve worked so hard. You deserve a break.”
Leo’s shoulders began to shake with another round of silent tears. He buried his face in Jason’s neck, and Jason wrapped his arms around his body. He had to admit, seeing Leo like this scared him. He was one of the strongest, bravest people he knew- to see him reduced to shaking tears, clawing at invisible scars, weeping, curled in Jason’s arms…
Some horrors in this cruel world were too much to handle. And Jason wasn’t sure how much help his comfort actually gave. He was helpless to fight those inner demons for Leo.
So much for “Respected Roman Warrior”, Jason thought, So much for all the medals, all those titles, all that honour.
The person he loved was sobbing into his chest, and Jason was powerless to stop it. All he could do was stroke Leo’s hair, and tell him everything would be alright. He should be doing more- fighting monsters, killing something- but some monsters you just can’t fight. All Jason could do was hold him.
“… Jason?” Leo whimpered, after a while.
“Yes, mi luna?”
“Are you… are you gonna leave me one day?”
Jason cupped Leo’s face in his strong, calloused hands, holding his everything out in front of him on the bed. He rolled forwards on his knees to kiss his forehead.
“I made a vow, remember?” He whispered, “I stood up in front of all our friends and family, in front of several gods and goddesses, and I promised to be yours forever. And you did the same. Do you remember that?”
Leo looked down so that his nose dug into the heel of Jason’s outstretched hands. “I remember. I know we did, but-”
“Hey! Hey- look at me-“ Jason tilted Leo’s head up, so his brown eyes sparkled in the low light of the street-lamps outside, “Have I ever broken a promise?”
“No…”
“There, then it’s settled. I vowed to love you ‘til I die, and I vowed to keep loving you beyond that. Come what may. And I am nothing if not a man of my word. And I know you are too.”
“I am,” Leo agreed, “I really do love you, Jason.”
“I love you too, amour mio.”
Leo still shivered from the fright of the nightmare. Jason held him close, until Leo eventually began to snore. Jason stayed awake, watching Leo breathe, watching his face twitch as he dreamt, his eyes moving under his lids. They stayed like that until the sun rose.
Another sleepless night- but they were still together at the end of it.
September came, and with it Jason’s first day at work.
Jason unlocked the door to his office and walked inside. It was a small rectangular room- nothing special. But the plaque on the front of his desk read Prof. J. Valdez, embossed in imperial gold lettering. Jason smiled at it.
He walked over to his computer monitor and sat down. He took out his briefcase, and began setting items down on the desk. It took him a while to arrange everything in a way that he wanted, but once he was done he stood back and admired his handiwork.
The framed photo of him and Leo on their wedding day, Leo blushing bright red when Jason had kissed him. The little trinkets Leo had made him over the years. A miniature Festus (deactivated). A Rubik’s cube that shuffled and solved itself periodically. Metal flowers in metal flower pots that actually bloomed whenever Jason walked into the room, and closed up when he left. More pictures of them and their friends. Jason and Leo with Piper hanging out at Camp Half-Blood. Double-dates with Nico and Will in New Rome. All of them with Percy and Annabeth’s new baby taken just after they’d brought her home from the hospital. Jason loved all these things. He loved that he could keep them on his desk, to remind everyone that came into his office that he was in love with Leo Valdez.
Just for good measure, he hung a few more photographs of Leo on the walls, and more little handmade creations on his shelves. He couldn’t help it- Leo always made him around seventy thousand little gadgets every Christmas, birthdays, and random Tuesdays. Their apartment was already filled to bursting with these affectionate little gifts. Did Jason really need fifty new forks? Not necessarily, but they were beautifully crafted and he loved them. His pockets were filled with Leo’s little gizmos, all lovingly made and thoughtfully designed. He wouldn’t trade it for the world.
He got to his lecture hall early, and began setting up, plugging in his laptop and pulling up the powerpoint. He’d created a little “get to know me” slide that new teachers often made- complete with yet more pictures of Leo.
He sat down at his desk and sighed.
Jason studied the tattoo on his arm. SPQR stamped on the skin and twenty-four lines all beneath an eagle symbol. That was nothing new. But fresher ink glistened. Next to the eagle, in iridescent gold was a hammer. Surrounding the symbols, also in gold, were three thinly-drawn concentric circles. Other couples chose different designs, but Jason had wanted this one. The hammer, the symbol of Vulcan, showed his union with Leo, and the merging of their families. If they ever had kids, they would also have those symbols, as they would be a legacy of both Hephaestus and Jupiter. The rings around the symbols represented years of marriage. Leo had a similar tattoo- his hammer in the standard black and his eagle in gold encircled in a thick black ring before the thinner gold ones to show that he married into the legion. The tattoo, of course, had been Leo’s idea.
Students began to drip in.
“Is this Roman History with Professor Valdez?” A student asked.
Jason must have grinned a little too hard, because the kid looked a little freaked out.
“Yes. Yes it is.”
He couldn’t help it. It was one of his favourite things ever, to hear his new name. Sometimes, when he was alone, he’d just say it to himself, over and over “Jason Valdez, Jason Valdez, Jason Valdez, Jason Valdez.” Even after he’d been married to Leo for three years, he never got tired of it. And oh! To hear others say it too made him elated beyond description. That’s one of the reasons why he loved the idea of becoming a teacher. He’d get to be referred to as “Professor Valdez” every day. He’d never get used to it in the best way possible.
Once everyone had settled into their seats, he stood up.
“Hello, everybody! My name is Professor Valdez, and I will be your Roman History teacher for most of your time here.”
“LEONIDAS JAVIER VALDEZ!”
“Uh oh,” Leo muttered. “What is it, amorsito??” He called in a sing-song voice from the other room.
“DON’T YOU AMORSITO ME!! COME HERE!”
Jason knew Leo would be reluctant to move, “Are you sure, mi luna? Can’t you come out here and tell me?”
“COME. HERE.”
Jason heard groaning, and Leo appeared in the door.
“Jason Sebastian Valdez,” Leo said, leaning against the doorframe, trying to act as causal and innocent as possible, “What’s up, amor mio?”
“What the fuck is this???” Jason roared.
He gestured to the room. Every inch of every surface- the bed, the floor, the side tables, the windowsill, the top of the wardrobe- was covered with bits of machinery. Copper wiring, bronze plates, circuit boards, pipes, pistons, batteries, scrap metal, plywood, spanners, screwdrivers, discs, spheres, et cetera, et cetera, et-fucking-cetera.
“What's all this junk doing here?” Jason demanded.
“First of all, chiqui, not junk. Second, a certain, ummm… father-in-law of mine took out the power of my workshop in one of his tantrums. Didn't I tell you?"
"No. Why would he do that?"
"Well, a certain father-in-law of yours pissed him off."
Jason sighed and up at the ceiling, “What did he do this time?”
Leo shrugged. “I dunno. God stuff. And tu padre is taking it out on me!”
Jason tapped his foot in annoyance and surveyed the room, “Did you have to do this in the bedroom?”
Leo shrugged again.
“Leo, mi amor, you gotta tidy this- hey, are you listening?”
Leo had turned away.
“Did you just turn off your hearing aid? Are you kidding me?”
No response. Jason tapped Leo on the shoulder and switched to ASL.
“This needs to be tidied up.”
Leo closed his eyes. Jason stamped his feet in frustration. Leo grinned, his eyes still closed.
Jason grabbed Leo’s shirt and pulled him into a quick kiss. Then he put a hand on Leo’s shoulder, and furiously tapped out a message in morse code.
“TIDY. NOW.”
“Umm… No hablo ingles.” Leo said.
Jason tapped out the same message, this time in Spanish.
Leo groaned again, “Fiiiinee,” He grumbled, “You got me. I’ll do it.” He opened his eyes and switched his hearing aid back on.
“What are you building, anyway?”
Leo sighed, “Typical children of Dionysus, god of theatre, to want a door that only opens if you scream “Veronica! open the, open the door please!” with the rage of a thousand daddy issues.”
“…and you can make that?”
“Well, I’m worried they’ll kill me with drain cleaner if I don’t.”
Leo started to shift piles of materials. Jason started to head to the door, then paused and said, “I’m sorry I called your stuff junk. You’re right. It’s not junk.”
“S’okay, bello. I forgive you.”
Jason kissed him on the cheek, then left the room.
Jason booted up the powerpoint and froze. He had forgotten what was on that lesson plan. The name on the title slide hit him like a brick, almost knocking the air from his lungs.
He could do this. It was fine, he could do this.
He stood up in front of the lecture hall and cleared his throat.
“G-Gaius Caesar Augustus Germanicus. A powerful Roman Emperor, known more commonly as C-“ His voice cracked, “… as Cal-“ Jason gripped the edge of the desk, and tried to blink away the sting in his eyes. Flashbacks shot through his mind, but he pushed them away. He swallowed, “Caligula,” He choked out.
Jason could still feel the impression his gladius left in his palm as he gripped it. He could still remember Caligula’s snarl as Jason approached.
“You’re one of those Camp Jupiter brats, aren’t you?”
“I’m Jason Grace,” he said, “Former praetor of the Twelfth Legion. Son of Jupiter. Child of Rome. But I belong to both camps.”
“Good enough,” Caligula growled, advancing slowly towards him, “I’ll hold you responsible for Camp Jupiter’s treason tonight.”
Jason tried to pull himself back to the present.
“He reigned f-from 37AD to 41…” He gripped the desk harder, his knuckles turning white, and forced down the bile that was rising in his throat.
A blur of memories, flashes of swords and fighting.
He remembered parrying Caligula’s spear with his gladius, every move costing him more and more energy. His muscles were weakening. He’d expended so much energy controlling the winds and the lightning.- he wasn’t sure how much longer he could keep up the fight.
“Get out of here!” he called to his friends. “Go!”
“Umm… Professor Valdez?” A voice called, “Are you alright? You look-“
Jason’s ears were ringing. His vision was spinning. He blinked, and tried to bring the world into focus. His eyes fixed on something in the haze. A face, on a photograph. It was Leo’s face, in the home-screen of Jason’s laptop. A picture of them on a picnic date last fall. Jason took a deep breath and straightened up.
“Yeah… I’m- I’m fine,” he managed. He turned back to the projector screen, “Ca-Caligula’s empire stretched across-“ suddenly, he stumbled, and steadied himself on the desk. His head swam.
Pain shot up his left thigh. He glanced down, and saw an arrow sprouted from it. Jason grunted and stumbled. Piper yelled in warning as Caligula charged again. He just managed to roll aside. He remembered grabbing at the air, summoning Tempest with what strength he could spare. He rode against Caligula atop the ventus’ back, jousting sword versus spear. Another arrow took him in the upper arm.
He could feel the distinct acidic taste of vomit in his throat. “Ex- excuse me, class,” He blurted out, and rushed out of the hall.
“I told you this isn’t a game!” yelled Caligula. “You don’t walk away from me alive!”
Below, an explosion rocked the ship. The room was cloven further apart. Jason was bleeding from arrows in each limb now, yet raised his sword in defiance all the same. They circled one another on their horses in the cramped space, trading blows. Incitatus kicked at Tempest with his golden-shod front hooves. The ventus responded with bursts of electricity that scorched the stallion’s white flanks. The air was charged with electricity. He jabbed furiously at the Emperor, slashing like a Greek while Caligula stabbed like a Roman.
Through the fighting, he glimpsed Apollo across the room, standing dumbstruck next to Piper.
He managed to make it to the staff toilets and proceeded to dry-heave over the bowl. His pulse throbbed in his veins. His vision was a blur.
Jason had decided. Piper McLean would not die tonight. Apollo, Meg, all the others… they must live too. Keep fighting for what was right.
And then he thought about Leo.
As Caligula and he jousted around the ruins, knowing he was close to death, he thought about his best friend.
He thought about Leo putting his life before Jason’s to complete the prophecy- dying before Jason could stop him. He thought about the Oracle telling him his fate, and his one consolation being that he might re-unite with Leo in Elysium.
But Leo was alive. And Jason wouldn’t see him again.
He thought about that pointed face, those busy eyes, that sparkling smile. He thought about Leo, covered in scratches and scorch-marks. Tiny Leo, with his impish grin and his tooth gap and his excited bouncing. He thought about the Leo he had seen defeating a Primordial Goddess, that determination, the acceptance. He thought about the many hardships Leo had escaped, how he could face anything and pull through. As Jason fought, he thought about that brilliant, annoying, funny, tragic, genius, terrified, beautiful man- the many sides of him forming something wonderful. Something… human.
After growing up nothing but a soldier, meeting Leo had taught him for the first time how to be a person. Be human.
He met Apollo’s eyes across the ruined throne room.
“GO!” He yelled, “Remember!”
Remember what it’s like to be human.
These feelings replayed in Jason’s mind as he was brought back to that night. Everything he thought of in his final moments, before pain shot up from the middle of his chest, and everything went black.
He stayed there, hunched over the basin of the hollow throne, retching and blinking back tears. The memories began to dissipate, and Jason could think clearly again. Eventually, after much gagging, nothing came out. He flushed anyway, and sat back against the wall of the bathroom stall, breathing hard and shaking. With trembling fingers, he fished out his phone and dialled a number. It was demigod-safe… mostly. Leo had found a way to scramble the signal using modern VPN technology, but the longer you used it the more dangerous it got. It was for emergencies only.
The phone rang twice before Leo picked up.
“You’ve reached the line for the Greatest Husband in the Cosmos, how may I help you?”
“H-… H-help…” Jason repeated.
Leo’s tone instantly changed. “Jason? Jason, baby, what’s wrong? Mi vida, talk to me.”
“I… I need…”
Jason heard panicked clattering over the phone.
“Where are you? Stay there, I’ll find you. Are you at work? Are you safe? Jason, come on, say something.”
“I c-c-…. Ca-… I’m…” Jason swallowed, and listened to the sound of Leo on the other end of the phone, cursing in Spanish under his breath, the unmistakable sound of a frustrated ADHD demigod searching for his keys in a cluttered machine shop. It was a very familiar sound to Jason. He knew it well, and that calmed him. He took a deep breath, “I’m- I’m safe. I’m at New Rome University, I’ll meet you out front, l-lemme just…”
“I’ll be there in ten minuites, okay?” Leo said, “Don’t panic, I’m here. I’ve gotta hang up now, but I’m coming, don’t worry. Just… just hang in there, ‘til I can get to you. I’ll be there as quick as I can, you hear?”
“Y-yes. Okay.”
“Love you. See you in ten.”
“Love you.”
Jason watched Leo’s name blink off the screen. He took a few deep breaths, then unlocked the bathroom stall door.
He didn’t remember waking up on that California beach. He didn’t really remember much of the quest that followed.
The first thing that was clear in his mind was Leo’s face at that Santa Monica airport, grinning as he hopped off Festus’ back. He remembered rushing towards him, burying his face in that warm smell of motor oil and woodsmoke. He remembered laughing. He remembered smiling. Nothing else mattered in that moment. They were together at last.
But flashbacks and nightmares of that fight still haunted him.
On his way out to the front entrance, Jason stopped by the reception area and arranged to have a sub cover his class for the rest of the day. Then he walked out, taking in the fresh air.
He watched as Leo’s massive modified vintage Ford pick-up truck pulled into the drop-off zone. The passenger-side door opened to show Leo at the wheel, his face knotted with concern. Jason hopped inside and shut the door, sighing with relief as the air con blasted his face from the dashboard.
Leo seemed to read the situation instantly. He didn’t ask Jason what had happened. He didn’t smother him with soothing words. He just slapped the steering wheel of the truck (which was twice the size of his torso) and said, “Right. Ice cream?”
They ate their ice cream in the back of Leo's pick-up, parked on temple hill, looking out over the city. Leo had a scoop of lemon sorbet in a pot (he couldn’t have ice cream in a cone- it would melt in his hands and drip down the side before he could finish it. He needed a pot to catch the drips). Jason had a strawberry double-cone with white chocolate sprinkles and a flake.
"So..." Leo began.
"Nope," Jason said, "Don't wanna talk about it. Tell me about your machines."
Leo suddenly brightened, "I got this commission in from a mysterious outsider. Those are always the best."
“Oh?” Jason said, turning his head to lick a drip off his ice cream cone.
“It was an order for delivery. The guy was weird. He was a demigod, but he didn’t seem Greek or Roman.”
Jason was dimly aware that children of gods from other pantheons existed, but he didn’t cross paths with them very often.
“Anyway, it’s posing some interesting challenges, working with different metals, using different styles of metalwork. I’m learning a lot.”
“Sounds fun. Tell me more.”
Leo went on about the new techniques he’d discovered, and how it’s been improving his skill. Jason listened. He loved hearing Leo info-dump about his interests. If anything, it took his mind off old emperor booties. He loved the way Leo’s voice changed, his words slurring with eagerness as they spilled out of his mouth, his hands moving animatedly as he talked, flapping when he got excited. He loved how his curly hair bounced as Leo rocked backwards and forwards on the balls of his feet enthusiastically.
Jason bit off the last of the ice cream at the top, leaving only plain waffle-cone left. He wanted to eat it, but gave it to Leo instead to have with his sorbet. They both knew that the cone was the best bit of the ice cream.
They kept talking until the sun went down and the sky became bright with stars. Jason rested his head on Leo’s shoulder and yawned.
“Come on, sleepyhead. Let’s drive you home,” Leo said, nudging him affectionately.
Jason nodded, drowsily.
The car ride home was in comfortable silence. Leo kept his eyes on the road, but snuck glances at Jason sitting sleepily in the passenger seat.
“Thank you,” Jason said, “For turning a shitty day into a wonderful one.”
Jason explained everything that had happened in the lesson, running out and almost throwing up in the bathroom.
Leo listened in patient silence, his gaze locked on the sprawling city streets in front of them
"I'm sorry, Leo..." Jason said, "I'm moaning about almost dying when you actually did die, it's not-"
"Hey. Whoa. No. This isn't a competition. I don't wanna make you feel like you can't talk to me because my pain and sadness is more painful and sad than yours. You're hurting, I help. That's the deal. That's what I vowed to do. And you do the same for me. No matter what that hurt is, we support each other, capiche?"
Jason nodded, "Capiche. You're right. I'm sorry."
“What are you sorry for, mi estrella?” Leo asked, calmly.
“I… I don’t know…” Jason admitted.
“Exactly,” Leo said. And the matter was settled.
They slipped back into sleepy, non-verbal company until they made it back to their apartment.
Leo kept a little stool next to the forges, which was known only as “Jason’s chair”. Jason often sat, watching Leo stoke the flames. He loved to sit there and see him turning over coals with his bare hands, or working away at his desk next to it. Sometimes Jason got out his laptop and wrote lesson plans while Leo worked. Sometimes Jason helped- if just to be a human spark plug. Sometimes he just sat and observed. They would talk, or sing songs, or just work in silence.
“What’re you working on?” Jason asked from his chair.
Leo rubbed the back of his neck, “I’ve just finished the commission by those Dionysus kids. Hope they like it.”
He picked up his drink and sniffed it, obviously checking for drain cleaner. “I’m now working on a self-playing harp to add ambiance to the temple of Apollo,” He glanced at Jason and smiled, “The one that you re-designed on temple hill.”
He turned back to his blueprint, muttering to himself. Jason watched as he drew long lines across the page with his craftsman’s ruler. Leo touched a button on his hearing aid, and turned up a dial on a small radio in front of him on his desk. He’d rigged up his hearing aid to connect to it via bluetooth, so that he could listen to music as he worked.
The doorbell rang, and Leo opened it. He was greeted with a knife to the throat. He grinned.
Jason sat perfectly still on his stool, watching as Leo poured over his notebooks, nodding his head slightly along with the music in his ears. In their silence, he could just about hear the tinny voice of the music coming from the device. It sounded like Taylor Swift. It probably was.
“How’s my favourite sister-in-law?”
“Your reflexes could be sharper,” Thalia said in response, then she lowered her knife and pulled him into a tight hug. When they broke apart, and she saw Jason standing there, she grabbed him and squeezed him so fiercely Jason thought she might crack a rib.
“Food is on the stove,” Leo announced, “Should be ready in about half an hour. If Piper hasn’t already helped herself to it all.”
“When did McLean get here?” Thalia asked.
“She stayed overnight to sleep off the jet-lag,” Jason explained, then he clapped his hands together, “But now we’re all here, should we do presents?”
Leo shook his head, “Nah, man. Food first. Keep ‘em waiting. That’s how my mom did it. I’ll go see to the kitchen, you guys talk or something. It’ll only be another twenty minutes or so, anyway.”
After a very hearty Christmas dinner cooked by the notoriously skilled Chef Leo, they got to work passing round presents.
Leo had organised them into four little piles, and they took turns opening one present each.
Except there was one slight problem-
Jason had about five million more presents than everyone else. All a variety of sizes and shapes, all wrapped in the same bronze (recyclable) wrapping paper.
Leo didn’t seem to think this was an issue (“I may have made you a few more presents than what we agreed was the limit! So what?”), but Thalia and Piper were exchanging glances, worried they’d have to sit there and watch while Jason unwrapped each one individually and was subjected to a long explanation by Leo as to every device’s multiple functions. To make things go a little faster, they agreed to let Jason unwrap five presents per round instead of the usual one.
Was Jason complaining about how thoughtful his husband was? Fuck no. He loved it. He was gonna put a lot of these in his office when he got back to school.
Leo was first in the circle. Thalia got him a collection of various hides from monsters she had slain. Most of them were still fresh. Leo immediately grabbed a notebook and wrote down some ideas for contraptions he could use them in.
Jason was next. Leo had made him: A picture frame that unlocked and opened up into a shaving mirror, one of those ballerina jewellery boxes with a dancing Festus (Jason didn’t wear jewellery), a large polaroid camera that videoed and printed out Leo’s scroll holograms (“scrollograms!”), a key ring embossed with the words “te amo”, and an airbed pump.
“I thought we could try camping!”
“Leo, do we own a tent?”
Leo glanced nervously at a box-shaped present at the bottom of Jason’s pile.
Piper was next. Jason got her tickets to see Chappell Roan for the three of them. She actually teared up and flung herself into his arms. Leo bounced up and down and flapped his hands, squealing excitedly.
Leo had gotten Thalia the same thing he did every year- a bottle of Texas Hot Sauce.
They went round the circle a few more times, until they had a large pile of gifts next to them.
Alongside his animal pelts, Leo received 50 drachmas towards his Eras Tour Fund, a collection of more notebooks, and The Tortured Poets Department on CD from Jason (“So you don’t have to keep streaming it while you work and attract monsters to the workshop.”). He got another 75 to the Eras Tour Fund from Piper, and various tools from his wishlist. She also got him what looked like a dog coat, but it was fifty times the size.
“It’s for Festus!” She explained, “In case he gets cold in the winter!”
Piper received a customised surfboard from Leo, complete with badass (totally safe) modifications. She also got a large set of different-sized hunting knives from Thalia.
Jason got several thousand more gifts from Leo, which took up most of the sofa and the coffee table. Piper got him one of those fluffy oversized “oodies” that were all the rage online. It was blue, with a large superman logo on the front. Jason argued that he didn’t need to be any warmer than he already was, sleeping next to Leo. Somehow he still found himself buried in it anyway, the hood pulled down over his eyes, just enough so he could see. Thalia got him a framed photo of the two of them when Jason was just a baby.
“Where… where did you find this?” He asked, looking at the photograph, stunned.
“I have my ways,” She remarked, nonchalantly.
Piper had got Thalia a new leather jacket.
“Another one?” Jason asked, “You’ve got loads!”
Thalia shrugged, “All my old ones got blood on them.”
Lastly, Jason handed his gift to Thalia. She opened up the small rectangular box, and pulled out a hunting dagger. She unsheathed it, and examined it. It was hammered a little out of shape, and the blade was warped.
“I’m assuming this wasn’t made by the OG Valdez?” She asked, glancing at her brother.
Jason looked a little sheepish. Leo rubbed his back, reassuringly. “Your metalwork’s getting better, chiqui. It’s good! You can’t help the fact that you’re married to one of the best and most advanced weaponsmiths in the Greco-Roman pantheon. But it’s good work.”
Thalia gave him a sisterly kiss on the cheek. “I love it. Thank you.”
Jason gave her a tight, one-armed hug.
“I actually have something else for you,” Thalia said to him.
“Oh?”
“It’s not a gift, exactly just… news.”
“Good news?” Leo asked.
Thalia neither confirmed nor denied this, just said: “I got a call from someone a couple weeks ago. Our cousins. On our mom’s side. I met them a couple of times as a kid but mom blipped off the radar once she was expecting you. They’d found out I was still out there recently and wanted to get back in touch. They didn’t know about you. I didn’t tell them. I said I’ll think about it, but honestly? I want nothing to do with them. I don’t want to be associated with anything to do with Mom, after what she did to you. And anyway, it’ll be a bitch to explain to them why I still look sixteen. But I thought it was only right you should know, in case you were interested in getting to know them.”
Jason was a little speechless. He’d never really considered the fact that he might have extended family out there. Other Graces. He wasn’t sure what to do. That didn’t bother him though. When he wasn’t sure about something, he’d talk it through with Leo. They’d figure it out together.
Family games began. After a rather violent round of charades, cut short by the fire alarm being set off by someone who will remain nameless, they decided on karaoke.
“KNEE-DEEP IN THE PASSENGER SEAT AND YOU’RE EATING ME OUT-“ Leo and Piper screamed in unison, using the deodorant bottle and the TV remote as fake microphones. They’d moved the coffee table out the way and the two of them were now singing their hearts out in the middle of the living room while Jason and Thalia watched from the couch.
Jason glanced nervously at a vase that was getting dangerously close to Leo’s flailing arms. Maybe Karaoke hadn’t been the best idea.
Piper was yelling furiously into her deodorant bottle, eyes closed, giving her best theatre-kid belt.
Leo was on his knees, screaming at the top of his lungs.
“FUCKED YOU IN THE BATHROOM WHEN WE WENT TO DINNER, YOUR PARENTS AT THE TABLE, YOU WONDER WHY I’M BITTERRRRR- hey! Hey, Jason! Do you think me and Piper should start a band? No, but really? I’ve already picked out our name, we’d be called “Piping Hot!” I think we should do it. Piper? Should we do it?”
“I married that man,” Jason reminded Thalia.
“Y’know, we did ask Chappell Roan if she wanted to join the hunters,” Thalia remarked.
Piper spun around so fast she almost wacked Leo in the face, “Ohh my gods tell me EVERYTHING.”
“This was before I joined,” Thalia said, “And she said no. But she still invites Lady Artemis to her concerts sometimes.”
Piper shoved herself in between the two siblings on the sofa, and began bouncing up and down in excitement as Thalia told stories of all the amazing women who have been asked to join the hunters over the years.
Jason, feeling a little crowded, stood up from the couch and went into the bedroom.
He groaned and rubbed his temples. Soon, he felt hands creep from his waist and hug him around the middle. Leo leaned his warm body into him, and rested his chin on Jason’s shoulder.
“Hmm…You okay?” Leo mumbled.
“Yeah…” Jason stayed in Leo’s embrace for a few seconds, then pulled away, leaning against the dresser.
Leo leaned next to him, sighing and folding his arms.
“You still thinking about what Thalia said? About your cousins?”
“Yeah…” Jason said, again. He turned to him, “What do you think I should do?”
Leo was silent for a few moments. “I dunno…”
“You have family, don’t you?” Jason asked.
Leo’s shoulders tensed slightly. Jason could see his expression become a little guarded, which hardly happened to Jason anymore. But biological family was a touchy subject for both of them. “Yeah. Lots.”
“Do you… ever think about getting back in touch? After everything that’s happened-“
Leo shook his head vigorously, “Nuh-uh. No way. I think it’s safe to say I don’t have the best experience with my extended family. My own cousins? They used to beat me up for being weird and skinny. I don’t owe those people a gods-damned thing.” He looked down, sadly, “And anyway, I tried… once. Chiron told me, after the fight with Gaea, that he called them to tell them I was dead. They just… didn’t care. My Aunt yelled at him for disturbing her and hung up the phone.”
“That’s horrible!”
Leo shrugged, “I don’t need them. I got you guys.” He glanced fondly through the open doorway of their room, over at Piper and Thalia, who were watching Mean Girls on the sofa (they both had a crush on Regina George), “You’re all the family that I need.”
“Still… there’s something to be said for finding your roots. Your blood. Could be a community there.”
Jason had spent his whole life trying to find where he fit. Camp Jupiter, Camp Half-Blood, on the Argo II, in the mortal world. He’d eventually found his place, with Piper and Leo. But that didn’t mean he couldn’t expand his people. His pack. If his relatives genuinely cared about him, and wanted to meet him…
Leo ran his hands through his hair, “Yeah… I get why some people think blood is important. But not for me. I love my mom because she raised me, not because she gave birth to me. You and Piper… you’ve showed me more love and kindness than the people that are s’pposed to take care of me. You’re my family.” He paused, then added, “But hey, I mean… If finding your blood relatives is what you need to do, then do it.”
“Plus,” Jason added, “If we ever have kids… hypothetically speaking… it might be nice for them to know their heritage.”
“It would…” Leo agreed, “But it’s not necessary.”
Jason sighed, “I don’t know why I’m getting all worked up about this. They don’t even know I exist yet. I guess I’ve sort of always had this fantasy of a nice, nuclear family structure. I know it’s stupid, but-“
“No, it’s not stupid!” Leo said, pulling away from the dresser and turning to face him, “If it’s something you want, then it’s something you want. It’s okay to want normalcy. Everyone has their own beliefs about what family should be. Yeah, it’s the template a western society pushes onto us, but that doesn’t make it inherently evil. It’s nice to want to know the people you’re related to. We’re pack animals- it’s in our nature,” he sighed, “Look. All I’m saying is I’ve done the whole “blood relatives” thing, and it didn’t work out for me, so I adjusted to live without it. Thalia didn’t want it either. That’s her choice. But that doesn’t mean you shouldn’t try.”
“But what if they’re shitty, like yours?”
“Then we just say fuck ‘em and we’ll go get ice cream.”
Jason rested his head on Leo’s shoulder, “You’re my favourite husband, did you know that? You’re just the best.”
Leo smiled, “And, if they’re really nice? Then… count yourself lucky, I guess. Not everyone can have that.”
“But you’ll have it,” Jason said, “Any family that is mine is yours now. If I get some shiny new family members then they’ll be yours, too. You might finally be accepted into a big clan of people.”
“That would be kinda nice,” Leo admitted, “But I’ll be happy either way. I’m happy just with you, bello. It is a wonderful dream, don’t get me wrong, and I love that you think it could happen. And I don’t wanna tell you to not get your hopes up, just… I dunno, I guess I find it hard to believe that a wider family like that could accept someone, love them unconditionally just because they share a few genes. But that reflects more about me than it says about you. I think you should go for it.”
“Really?”
“Yeah.”
Jason nodded to the open doorway, “Come on, let’s go back out there before they decide to make Fetch happen.”
Jason thought fondly back to a conversation they’d had a few years ago, during one of their sessions of sitting together in the workshop.
“Hey, hermoso?”
“Hmm?” Leo looked up from his sketches. Jason still remembered it now. It was summer, and hot. Leo had tied his hair back to keep it out of his face as he worked. His bronze hearing aid glinted in the low evening light. This was back before they were married, and Leo’s engagement ring twitched a little on Leo’s ring finger as he tapped on the desk.
“I-I was thinking… what if I… changed my name?”
Leo had put his pencil down and turned in his chair, so that he was facing Jason.
“What, like, Fernando Grace or something?”
“No, the, er… the last name. In marriage.”
“So… Grace-Valdez? Or… Valdez-Grace?”
Jason shifted on the seat of his stool. Leo’s amber-brown eyes watched him, noting every tender movement, twitch, and mannerism as Jason sat before him.
“Well… how about just Jason Valdez?”
Leo thought for a moment. “You sure Fernando is off the table? Because I think-“
“Leo, I’m serious.”
“Sorry, I’m just uncomfortable with emotions,” Leo said, “That is… wow. It’s a lot to process… You’re really serious? Like, genuinely?”
“Yeah!” I mean… my mom was kind of a… a…”
“A bitch.”
“Yes. That. I’m perfectly fine with letting her name die out. I don’t really want to be associated with her, or-or what she’s done. But I want you to be a part of me. A part of my identity. I want to be a Valdez. If… If you’d let me.”
Leo’s expression was hard to read at first, Jason could see the cogs turning in Leo’s brain, thinking a million thoughts at once, but then he broke into a gigantic smile.
“Oh Jason! Of course! If you’re sure?”
“Yes,” Jason said, reaching out and taking both Leo’s hands in his, “I am sure.”
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Jason walked into his office the first day back from Winter Break.
He sat down in his office chair, and booted up the PC monitor. While he was waiting for it to load, he sat back and surveyed everything on his desk. This was his morning ritual: count your blessings, you have a lot more than you used to.
His eyes fixed on a photograph. Him and Leo at the altar on their wedding day.
Thalia stood to the left in her Best Man’s suit. Percy, Nico, Will, and Reyna had all been groomsmen. Piper stood to Leo’s right as his Maid of Honour. Frank had refused to wear the bridesmaid’s dress that Leo had picked out, and instead settled for a dark blue tux that really did kind of suit him. He stood beside Hazel, just behind Piper. The entire Hephaestus cabin had been the bridal party (little Harley had been a very cute flower boy). Even Hephaestus himself was there, and had agreed to walk Leo down the aisle. Jupiter hadn’t shown. Figures. Jason had to admit that he’d hoped his father would be there, but it was wishful thinking. He didn’t dwell on it though- that day had been the happiest day of his life, he wasn’t going to let his deadbeat daddy ruin it for him.
They were married in June- the sacred month dedicated to Juno. In Roman times, this was meant to be good luck and a blessing on your marriage. While both Jason and Leo had a… complicated relationship with the goddess, they tried their best to keep things civil for the sake of the special day.
Jason had worn a traditional Roman toga. It was white with gold embroidery. Leo had, of course, designed that as well. He was amazing with a sewing machine.
Leo wore a well-fitted tuxedo. The fabric was enchanted to flicker red and gold- with flashes of white and blue, like hot flames. He called it “girl-on-fire core”. It was lined with dragon hide on the inside, making it fireproof.
Wreaths of violets and marigolds adorned the wedding arch. Jason held Leo’s calloused hands in his own, feeling the heat coming off of them in waves, like holding a mug of hot chocolate on a cold Christmas day.
Aphrodite stood next to them under the arch, officiating the wedding.
“Do you, Jason Grace, take Leonidas-“
Leo coughed.
“… Leo Valdez, to be your husband- wed in both mortal law and in the eyes of the gods? Do you, in front of all the people gathered here today, pledge to be true and devoted to him, to have and to hold for eternity? From this day forward, do you vow to be with him, for better for worse, for richer, for poorer, forever? In good times and bad, in sickness and in health, do you promise to love and honor him all the days of your life and beyond, never to part, even in death?”
Jason gripped Leo’s hands in his. He knew that the goddess Aphrodite was right next to him, but honestly? He didn’t give a flying fuck about her. And that was coming from the Flying Fuck himself. All he could look at was Leo. Leo was the most beautiful person in that room. He knew that would definitely displease the goddess, but Jason had given his whole life trying to serve the will of the gods. Now, he was creating a new life. With the phenomenal man in front of him.
Jason felt Leo’s fingers tapping against Jason’s palms where their hands were grasped. A familiar rhythm that Jason knew well. Two short taps. Short tap, long tap, two short taps. Three long taps. Three short taps and a long tap. Tap. Long tap, short tap, long tap, long tap. Three long taps. Two short taps, one long tap.
Jason grinned.
“I do.”
Maybe Aphrodite smiled then, Jason didn’t know. He was lost in Leo’s deep eyes, looking at him and him only.
“I really, really do.”
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“Shit!” Jason whispered, as the fork fell to the ground with a loud clatter, “Shhh!” He told the fork, which probably didn’t help.
Leo was asleep on the in the living-room. He’d had another nightmare and had woken up in flames, scorching the duvet. After much consolation that no, Jason had not been hurt in the fire and that yes, it was just a dream, he had finally passed out curled in Jason’s arms, watching Frozen II on the sofa. That was at 5am.
It was now midday and Leo was still asleep. It was his day off, so Jason was currently trying to cook his husband breakfast. There was just one small issue…
Jason couldn’t cook.
He fussed about in their little kitchenette that led off their open-plan living/dining space, a Stand-Up Comedy Special on in the background, the volume down low so as not to wake Leo. He’d somehow managed to burn the avocado, meanwhile the hash-browns were still frozen cold in the middle. He was beginning to get super frustrated with this breakfast burrito. Why couldn’t he have just made cereal instead? But he wanted to do something nice for Leo, and thank him for all the times Leo had cooked.
“Fry bacon over medium heat until crispy,” Jason muttered to himself. As soon as he set the skillet down, the outlets sparked, causing the induction hob to short-circuit, the digital display blinking out. Jason tried several times, but it refused to switch back on. “Fine, be that way!” Jason snapped at the hob.
He didn’t really understand why Leo couldn’t just eat the bacon raw. Jason had been raised by wolves after all- he’d done it loads of times and had only gotten sick twice. But Leo loved food, especially good food. It reminded him of home, of his mother, and family gatherings where everyone all sat around the table good-naturedly, united by the meal enough to not yell at each other. Those mealtimes were the only happy memories Leo had of the family that had kicked him out on the streets and ruined his life. It was safe to say the other Valdezes had not been present at their wedding.
Jason thought back to his own upbringing. How his mom had been so drunk and zonked out that she’d forget to feed him and Thalia. Jason had been so hungry, he’d tried to eat a stapler. He knew Leo had had similar experiences on the streets, and, while Leo had never admitted it, that was probably one of the reasons why he was so short and skinny.
He’d gained a lot of weight since Jason had first seen him on that bus, which Jason was proud of. He imagined that he’d been even thinner before. He was glad to see Leo getting better, but part of him was still sad to see the damage it had done.
Jason wished he could cook. Maybe it was some primal wolf urge to look out for the runt of the litter, but also food was a comfort for Leo, and cooking was a love language to him. He wanted more than anything to make him good meals, see his face light up when he made him something.
“I’m not gonna fuck this up this time,” Jason muttered through gritted teeth. The thought of Leo’s proud expression when he showed off his culinary creation kept him going. He decided to light a small fire over the miniature brasier they kept on the countertop for offerings (scraped a bit of bacon and some sliced tomato into it, praying to Edesia, Roman goddess of Banquets for good luck) and decided to fry the bacon the old fashioned way.
Leo woke up at 1pm (Jason was glad he’d gotten at least the recommended eight hours of sleep). Jason immediately set the plate of burritos down on the coffee table in front of him, grinning eagerly.
Leo reached out and took the burrito, looking perplexed. He examined its contents, “You- you made this?”
“Yup.”
“You cooked?”
“Sure did.”
Leo glanced back at their kitchenette, as if checking for explosion marks. He sniffed the tortilla, cautiously. Jason sat on the edge of the armchair next to him, bouncing up and down a little on the cushion. He could almost imagine his tail wagging in anticipation.
Leo bit into the wrap, and his face lit up. “This is actually not bad! You’re getting better.”
“Really?”
“Yeah, querido. Es muy bueno. You can make this for me again.”
Jason beamed, proud of himself.
“Did you spend all morning on this?”
“I did. I wanted to do something special to cheer you up. I’m glad you like it.”
Leo took another bite. “Oh what a joy to wake up to!” He said, “You really are the best Husband ever.”
“I can’t be,” Jason said, “You exist.”
- ⚡️ - 💍 - 🔥 - [ L+J] - 🔥 - 💍 - ⚡️ -
As the students filed out of the lecture hall, Jason turned and saw Leo leaning against the doorframe. He was dressed in his usual suspenders and tool belt, this time over a black button-up shirt. A clean one, which was unlike Leo. He looked surprisingly dashing with his freshly-washed hair and his brown Doc Martens. Several of Jason’s students had stopped to stare at him, whispering behind their hands. Jason watched as Leo produced a bouquet of violets and marigolds from the back pocket of his tool belt.
Jason walked forward and accepted them, then kissed him on the cheek.
“What’s the occasion, mi cielo?” Jason asked.
“No occasion,” Leo said, “I just love you.”
Jason spied a few of his students taking pictures on their phones.
“You better not be posting those online,” Jason told them, “If I get home to find a hoard of monsters raiding our apartment you’re all getting Ds, understand?”
They nodded. He turned back to Leo.
“There’s still some work I’ve gotta finish up,” Jason whispered.
“Me too,” Leo whispered back, “But… can we talk? Later?”
“Oh! Yes, of course,” Jason said. He could feel himself blushing. His students were staring at them, giggling.
Leo noticed them too. He switched to American Sign Language.
“Let’s go to that restaurant we like. I’ll meet you there at 8pm.”
“Fancy!” Jason signed, “Are you sure this isn’t a special occasion?”
Leo smiled. “I just wanna take you out! I have money, I’m allowed to take my husband out on a date! Just don’t be late. I’ll see you there.”
He gave Jason another peck on the cheek. “I gotta run,” He said, “But talk later, okay?”
“Okay!” Jason called, as Leo rushed off.
Jason stood there, agape, for a few seconds, before the excited whispers from the small crowd of students snapped him out of it.
“Gods, I hope that was his husband.” “He’s so skinny!” “I thought children of Hephaestus were supposed to be huge!” “And ugly, but he was kinda cute.” “No, guys, did you see he’s got, like, five million photos of him on his desk-“
Jason cleared his throat, and they stopped abruptly, “Yes, if you’re curious, that was Mr Valdez. No, I will not be taking further questions at this time. Umm… Class dismissed.”
The gaggle of students left, dragging their feet and sneaking glances back at Jason, talking in hushed whispers.
A little dazed, he made his way up to his office and walked inside. Jason realised he was still holding the bouquet of flowers Leo had given him. He walked over to his desk, emptied his half-drunk cup of tea, washed the mug out and filled it up with water (Leo often teased him for drinking tea. He said it made him look like a British Grandpa. But Jason liked it). He plopped the flowers in it, and sat down at his desk to grade papers.
The sun had set in the early january hours when he heard a faint rap on his door. He looked up. Standing nervously in the doorway was one of his quieter students, Joshua.
“Umm… Professor Valdez?” He asked in a small voice.
“What is it, Joshua?”
“Can- can I come in?”
Jason gestured for the kid to sit down in the chair facing his desk.
“I was- I was working on a project for my Greek Studies course, and we had to write about one difference between Roman and Greek society…”
“Yes…?”
“Well, I wanted to write about how Greeks viewed queer identity compared to the Romans? Because they, like, had fundamentally different views on gender and sexuality and it’s super interesting to me. I know you’re a Roman History professor but you’re also one of the only queer teachers I know, and you’re also just a really good teacher in general… I was wondering if you could help me?”
Jason signalled for him to shuffle over to his side of the desk. He pulled up a few websites on his computer, and began talk about examples of different Greek art that depicted men-loving-men relationships.
They talked for a while, but then Joshua interrupted, pointing to one of the photos on Jason’s desk. “Is that your husband?”
Jason picked up the picture and smiled, “Yes. That’s us at a wedding we went to last spring.” It had been Hazel and Frank’s wedding.
“Woah…” he whispered. He paused, then said, “You know, I’ve always looked up to you. I grew up hearing stories about the Seven demigods who sailed on the Argo II. You’re all huge inspirations.”
Jason nodded at the photograph, “I think so too, that’s why I married one.”
“What was it like… all those months sailing, facing all those terrible monsters?”
Jason remembered back to all those times he’d found Leo crying in the engine room, shivering after a particularly viscous monster attack, a nightmare, or another dirt-formed vision of Gaea. Those tearful nights spent consoling him.
“It… it was hard, especially seeing as we were just teenagers. But at least we had each other.”
Joshua looked at the Rubik’s cube with its self-shuffling sides, “Woah. Did he get you that?”
“He made it, actually. He is one of the best mechanics in the western hemisphere, after all.“
Jason picked it up, fondly, turning it over in his fingers.
The conversation carried on, drifting (as all good conversations do) to Sappho and her poetry. It wasn’t until Jason checked the clock that he realised the time.
“Shit, I gotta meet the Mister for dinner in fifteen minutes. Sorry, Joshua.”
He scribbled down the titles of a few books the kid could borrow from the library, and shouldered his bag. Joshua thanked him and left.
Jason picked up his keys and went to turn off the light. Before he left, he turned and looked at the flowers in the cup. Violets and marigolds. The same flowers they’d had at their wedding. Purple and orange, like the colours of Camp Half-Blood and Camp Jupiter. Leo had an appreciation for a good metaphor.
He turned out the light and left his office, locking the door behind him.
They were one of the first Greco-Roman couples to get married since the camps discovered each other. Their wedding had been a celebration of the merging of both sides. It was becoming more and more commonplace now, but they were in the early stages of creating new traditions between these partnerships.
Jason had always tried to do things a little differently. He’d never liked it when he was told he had to uphold all these “Roman Values” in order to be perfect. He didn’t want to have to fit in a mould. That’s one of the countless reasons why he loved Leo so much. Leo wasn’t perfect. He didn’t try to be. He faked smiles and confidence for survival, but he never stopped being so unapologetically himself while doing it. And when Jason was around him, he couldn’t care less about what people thought he should be. Leo made him a better person because of that.
- ⚡️ - 💍 - 🔥 - [ L+J] - 🔥 - 💍 - ⚡️ -
Jason thought back to their wedding day again.
He remembered their first dance, to the song “Fast Car” by Tracy Chapman. Jason stumbled over his feet a little as they danced. Later that night, Leo had torn up the dance floor doing the Macarena. Jason wondered how Leo had managed to go all night without bursting into flames.
Much parties and drinking ensued. Jason was swamped with guests, congratulating him. He made polite conversation with them all, and was so distracted he didn’t even realise that Leo had left the room.
He felt a quick surge of panic as he searched for him, but it soon subsided when he saw Leo out on the balcony of the wedding venue, looking out at the city. He’d taken off his jacket and it was folded on the rail next to him.
The relief gave way to concern, though, when he saw that Leo was on fire.
Jason walked over to him and leaned on the balcony railing next to him, just out of reach of the flames, “Long day?” He asked, trying not to show the worry in his voice.
“Good day,” Leo replied, smiling at him. Jason instantly relaxed.
“Sorry I left- just had to get away from the crowds and cool off,” Leo nodded at the suit jacket, flames licking his face, “That’s the last time I wear something with heat-suppressing polymers. I had to, for safety and all, but man… it was so stuffy. I felt like I couldn’t breathe.” Leo’s chest crackled quietly with the fire in the cool evening air, “Anyway, I needed to decompress. Let some of it out. “
“Understandable. It’s an emotional night.”
“I’m just so incredibly happy, Jason,” Leo said, “It’s hard to keep contained.”
Looking at Leo, Jason felt little zzzts of electricity buzzing through his hair. Yeah, he understood.
“Socialisation is exhausting,” Leo admitted, “Especially when you’re masking. Especially at an intense event like this. But don’t think I’m upset. I’m not. Just a little… overstimulated.”
Jason smiled, “I understand. Take all the time you need. Soon, though, we’ll be off on our honeymoon. Just you and I, alone together.”
Leo closed his eyes at the pleasure of the thought, “That would be nice.”
“Gods, I’m eager to get out of this toga. It’s itchy as heck.”
They exchanged a quick side-eye.
Jason sidled a little closer, careful to keep the fabric of his clothes out of reach of the flames. “I wish I could kiss you,” he said, frowning at the red fire brushing against Leo’s cheek.
“Hold your pegasi, lightning boy! We’re spending the rest of our lives together- there’ll be plenty of opportunities for you to kiss me, don’t you worry.”
“I guess you’re right,” Jason replied.
Leo softened, “Your company’s enough for me, amor mio. That’s all I need.”
Jason looked back at the open doorway, at the party in the venue behind them. “Well I should probably get back in there. They’ll be wondering where we are. If anyone asks, I’ll tell them you’re constipated.”
“How very dignified of you.”
Jason looked into Leo’s eyes, his brown irises turning orange in the glittering fire that wreathed his face, “I love you.”
“I love you, too.”
Jason went back into the building, looking back at his husband and smiling. Then he proceeded to rejoin the party.
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Leo was waiting for him outside the restaurant. He now wore a black suit jacket over his black shirt and suspenders. Jason knew that it had been stolen from his wardrobe. Leo didn’t own many suits.
He’d chosen a table for two under the awning outside the restaurant. Jason kissed him on the cheek when he saw him and sat down across from him. A waitress came over and took their drinks order.
“Umm… Tea, please. Earl Grey.”
“Earl Grey?” Leo said, “That even sounds like a British Grandpa.”
Jason ignored him, “Milk, two sugars please.”
“Hey, whatever floats your trireme, man. And can I have the umm… the umm…” Leo clicked his fingers and scrunched up his face in concentration, “Come on, English!! The… frothy… cow… juice…”
“The what?”
Leo mimed a complicated charade of drinking a certain beverage, which Jason attempted to decipher.
“A… milkshake?”
Leo snapped his fingers and pointed at Jason, “Yes. That. See? I knew I married you for a reason.”
Jason shook his head in disbelief, “I apologise for… whatever that was,” He said to the waitress, “English isn’t his first language.”
“Shut up Valdez," Leo said.
Jason smiled.
The waitress flashed them her customer-service grin and left with their orders. Jason turned to Leo, his perfect Leo, sitting there across the restaurant table just looking perfect. Jason beamed at him.
"What?" Leo asked, upon seeing the cheesy expression on Jason's face.
"Nothing..." Jason said, "So what is it you wanted to talk about?"
Leo ran his hands through his hair. Even after all these years, he still knew how to take the breath out of Jason’s lungs.
“Umm… well, I was thinking hard about that conversation we had a couple months ago, I just haven’t been able to get it out of my mind since…”
“Leo, we’ve had a lot of conversations in the last couple months-“
“The one about having kids! I’ve been thinking…”
“Yes…?” Jason said, dreading what might come next.
“And I’ve decided,” Leo said, twisting the ring around his finger.
Jason held his breath.
“I wanna do it. I want to start a family. At some point. In the future. Not right now, but at some point.”
Jason actually jumped up from his seat. He hugged Leo.
“Oh, Leo, that’s so good to hear!!!”
“Yeah, well… I love you. And I guess, as the son of the God of Creation… I want to create something. With you. Something more than just a Roomba,” he sighed, “I’m not good with organic life forms, but that’s what we do, isn’t it? We face challenges together. We don’t always do things in our comfort zone, but ultimately we risk it for what it’s worth at the end… I dunno, I’m getting cheesy.”
Jason smiled, “I love your cheesiness, Leo.”
Just then, the waitress came back with their drinks and took their dinner orders. Once she left, Jason turned back to Leo.
“You know,” Jason joked, “Since I actually didn’t die fighting Caligula, I’ve always wondered what the Sibyl meant by I will “three letters, starts with D”. I’m guessing, since we re-united after the fight it meant things would eventually lead to “Dad”.”
“Or you’ve been dead this whole time, and this is a delusional Elysium dream,” Leo said in a monotone voice.
“Wh-what?” Jason hurriedly scanned Leo’s face for any sign of a joke, but for some reason he couldn’t quite meet his eyes. They were distorted somehow, like trying to see a monster through the Mist. Fog swirled around the two of them, so Jason lost sight of their surroundings, only Leo’s weirdly blank face. He caught a flash of Leo laughing- a burst between the freakily deadpan expression Leo wore. It was like something had glitched.
Suddenly, the room brightened. They were back in the restaurant, and Leo was looking at him with a curious expression, his brow knotted slightly in concern.
“I didn’t say anything,” Leo said.
“You… You said…” Jason tried to think back to their previous conversation, but his memory of it was somehow distant- like a wound closing from ambrosia.
Leo cocked his head to one side, “You sure you’re alright, Jase?”
Jason blinked, “I’m- I’m fine.” He shook his head, trying to clear the confusion. “Long day. Just a little sleep-deprived. Probably hallucinating. What were we talking about, again?”
“Baby names,” Leo reminded him.
“Oh, right.”
“I think Leo Jr is a very strong name for a child,” Leo said, “Imagine, “Leonidas Valdez the Second! Badass Warrior Mechanic!”
“But what if it’s a girl?”
Leo paused for a few seconds, then said “I was thinking… I could name her after my mom?”
Jason frowned, “Names have power though. While I love the sentiment, I don’t think naming your kid after someone who died young is a very good idea.”
Leo sighed, “You’re right.”
“But it’s a lovely thought, though.”
“Yeah…”
- ⚡️ - 💍 - 🔥 - [ L+J] - 🔥 - 💍 - ⚡️ -
Jason walked into class the next morning.
“Hey, Professor! How’s your twink?”
“He’s not my-“ Jason began, “Well, yes, he is kind of a twink. And he is mine. What’s your point?”
The students laughed.
Jason turned to the projector screen and began to talk, when a student interrupted him.
“Tell us more about your husband, Professor!”
Jason knew this trap. They were trying to de-rail the lesson, get Jason talking about something else and forget to set the homework. If they thought they were gonna get away with not having to learn about Roman History for half a lesson they were wrong. Jason wasn’t gonna fall for their games and tricks.
But oh! He was a sucker for talking about Leo. As much as he wanted to resist, he found himself sinking into a ramble about his husband’s amazingness.
“I mean, he’s only the best thing to come from Huston, Texas. Like, ever. And that includes Beyoncé.”
The entire lecture hall gave a collective gasp of shock.
“You’re not serious, sir?” A student in the front row whispered.
“I am. And I don’t say that lightly either,” Jason may have been raised by wolves, but even he understood Beyoncé’s reverence. “I very much respect Queen Bey and what she does. You know she’s actually a minor goddess now?”
“Really? The gods made her one?” Another student heckled.
Jason shook his head, “No, not the gods. Much like how the Roman Emperors survived for thousands of years because of how much they were worshipped by their subjects, Beyoncé’s cult following has helped her ascend to goddesshood too.”
“Woah…”
“I’d be surprised if the Eras Tour doesn’t do the same thing for Taylor Swift. My husband loves her. We wanna get tickets, but that would mean our kids will never be able to afford to go to college, so… it’s still open for negotiation.”
A student raised his hand, “What other celebrities became gods from their worship?”
“Well,” Jason said, leaning back on his desk, “Have you ever heard of a band called the Beatles?”
Once the lesson had ended, Jason was approached by one of his students. It was Joshua, the kid he’d helped with homework.
“I- I just wanted to thank you for your help, Professor. On the essay. I got a really high grade and I passed my class!”
Jason grinned, “That’s great to hear! I don’t wanna give too much away but I have a feeling you’ll do very well in this class, too.” He tapped the side of his nose, like he was telling some big secret.
Joshua still looked a little nervous, like he had something more to say but wasn’t sure if he should.
“Is everything alright, Joshua?” Jason asked, giving him his kindest smile.
“It’s just… umm… I wanted to thank you for being my favourite teacher. You’re such an inspiring role model… my- my parents, they d-don’t really like the sort of stuff I’m studying… the sort of stuff I was writing that essay about. They’re traditional, see? All about upholding Good Roman Values. But you, being so open about who you are, and about your husband… from someone as heroic and influential as yourself… it meant a lot to me.”
Before Jason knew what was happening, Joshua gave him a quick, tight hug. “Thank you,” the kid whispered. Then he shouldered his backpack, and left the lecture hall.
Jason may or may not have cried a little.
- ⚡️ - 💍 - 🔥 - [ L+J] - 🔥 - 💍 - ⚡️ -
Jason pushed a button, and a large metal door opened inwards onto Leo’s warehouse. He stepped inside, his footsteps echoing on the hard concrete floor. From the cavernous ceiling hung car engines, machine parts, and large automatons. All around him were cluttered racks, standing shelves, and an assortment of other storage solutions. Jason wove his way through the labyrinthine pathways forged from kicked-aside projects. He was carrying a large take-out bag from the Greek Restaurant across the street from campus. Despite the large open space, there wasn’t much room to walk, so he picked his way apprehensively through the mess, nervous that he might step either on some prized masterpiece, or something explosive.
He spotted Leo’s apprentice, Penny, working the forges in the back of the gigantic space. She was hammering out a sheet of stygian iron, her mousy-blonde hair tied messily out of the way. She wore large welder’s goggles, and oversized Dragon-hide gloves.
He gingerly stepped over machinery and made his way over to her, greeting her with a nod. She stopped hammering, and pushed her goggles onto her head with a gloved finger.
“Where’s your Jedi Master?” Jason asked.
She set her hammer down on a nearby workbench and glanced expectantly at his take-out bag. He reached in, brought out a greasy Tupperware box, un-popped the lid, and handed her one of the dolmades. Her expression didn’t waver, she continued to stare at the bag. Jason rolled his eyes and begrudgingly gave her another one. This seemed to satisfy her. “He’s up on the roof,” she said, popping the stuffed vine leaf into her mouth.
He thanked her, and made his way up the metal spiral staircase that led to the roof.
He found Leo sitting on the roof’s edge, facing away from him. Festus sat next to him on his hind legs, his large metal tail wrapped around him like a cat. They both turned when Jason came up. He walked over to them, patted the dragon’s bronze jaw affectionately, and sat down next to Leo, putting the take-out bag between them. He began to dish out the food. Leo raised an eyebrow at the missing dolmades.
“I had to bribe Penny to tell me where you were,” Jason admitted.
Leo chuckled and shook his head in disbelief. His dark curls bounced in the golden light of the setting sun. “That girl has learned well. Never waste an opportunity to swindle free food.”
“Oh, I see. You taught her that.”
They laughed, kicking their dangling feet off the concrete warehouse walls.
“So how was your day?” Leo asked.
Jason scratched Festus’ chin, absent-mindedly. He thought about Joshua, and about the other kids in his class. He thought about how proud he was of the papers he graded. He thought about the bright young minds. Jason had grown up fighting in the legion. He’d faced untold horrors in order to save the world. So had Leo. And they still were saving it in their own way. By passing his knowledge onto the next generation, he felt safe knowing that the future was in their hands. By teaching his students about demigod life, about Roman History, and also teaching them that it was okay for a tough Roman soldier to love another man, he felt like he was still doing all he could to protect the world, but he’d found a less life-threatening way to do it.
“My day was good,” He told him, “What about yours?”
As Leo talked about his latest commissions, Jason looked around him. He remembered how much Leo had saved up to be able to afford to buy this place. But he needed a place to keep Festus (Terminus had been very particular about where the dragon had been allowed to stay, since he technically counted as a weapon). It had meant their honeymoon was spent in some discount resort in the south of Mexico with a low budget hotel room, drinking cheap wine. Jason wouldn’t have traded it for the world.
Leo really did love his machine shop. It had been a dream of his to own one since as long as Jason had known him. He knew that part of that was guilt for burning down the one his mom owned in Texas, that had been in his family for three generations. But Jason could see by the way Leo treated the space that he kept it working to honour his mom. And although Jason had never met Esperanza, he could feel her spirit in the air in this place.
He wondered if she’d be happy for her son that they’d found each other. Jason thought she would. She’d be so proud of Leo- how could she not? Leo was the best thing that had ever happened to Jason. He’d fought tooth and nail to save the world, and now they were living happily in New Rome.
Are we happy? A little voice in the back of Jason’s head said. They still had troubles and hardships ahead of them. Leo still struggled to sleep with the nightmares. Jason still couldn’t say Caligula’s name. People still looked down on Jason for dating the Greek who fired on New Rome. People still gave Jason shit for taking the last name of the man he loved. Queer kids in Jason’s class still struggled to be accepted by their parents. Wars were still happening. Demigods still died. Things might look completely different for them in a few years time. They could be drafted into another fight. They could lose each other. Again.
But they had found their little pocket of peace. The place and time where they could stay. And be happy. Because yes, they were happy.
He sat, side-by side with Leo, looking out at the sunset going from orange to purple to black. He wrapped his arm around his husband’s shoulders. The love of his life. His everything.
He was happy. Despite everything, he was happy. Jason was happy going to work every day, facing whatever there was to be faced, knowing he would come home to Leo at the end.
Jason looked into Leo’s eyes. Leo’s sparkling, dazzling eyes. The freshly-born stars reflected in them as the sky darkened to night. He watched them twinkle in those pupils as they shifted, busily scanning the sky for gods know what. He knew that he was happy, too. They had each other.
Sometimes the fates could be kind that way.
Jason sat on the warehouse roof, watching the stars come out. And he knew, right then and there, that whatever happened, everything was gonna be okay.
- ⚡️ - 💍 - 🔥 - [ L+J] - 🔥 - 💍 - ⚡️ -
Fuuuucckkk this took me ages to write but ohhh my gods-
This is now my longest fic ever and I’ve been obsessed with it for months.
Footnotes/Things I wanna talk about:
One day I realised “Hey, wait! I can make them get married!” And two months and 15K words later (I started writing this on Jason’s bday) here we are.
Penny, Leo’s apprentice- would you wanna see more from her? I know fics with ocs don’t do as well, but it will still mostly focus on Valgrace. I love the idea of talking about my otps from an outsider POV, I can expand on more lore for this universe, and be able to show them just being adorable and cute and fluffy together. Maybe while Leo and Jason are thinking more seriously about kids, Leo tries out his fatherly chops on his apprentice?
No we are not gonna mention Jason’s little “glitch in the matrix” moment back there. Nothing happened, what are you even talking about? [unless you think that would make a good fic to expand upon, I’d be prepared to take a dark route] Just pretend I added that in to explain away any plot-holes.
The “Jason wants to get in touch with his bio family and Leo’s a little sceptical” plot is something I’ve wanted to write about for a while. Particularly as Jason’s whole arc is about finding a place. They’re “The Lost Trio” because each of them are trying to find something. Jason’s trying to find who he is and where he belongs. Leo’s prepared to just settle for any place that won’t shun him for who he is. I fully believe that Leo is perfectly happy just the two of them, whereas Jason’s still on that journey of “what if there’s more of me out there?”. And Leo being Leo, he’d obviously help Jason with that, but he’d remind Jason that he would be loved no matter what, with or without a bio family.
Should I expand on that topic, write a conclusion? I left it a little open-ended and up to the imagination (and bc this fic is already 9k words long as I’m writing this and there are too many plotlines) but it would be something fun to follow up on, maybe giving it it’s own time to properly shine, and get down to the nitty gritty stuff. If the family is good to Jason, Leo would be happy for him but still a little bitter that he never got that chance. If the family is bad to Jason, Jason would struggle with what that means for him (he did a little bit of this in canon when he saw his mom’s ghost in BoO) and Leo would empathise with him, and reassure them that they’re still a family just as them.
I like to cite my sources, so here is the article I found about Ancient Greek wedding traditions in case you’re curious/need inspiration. It was an interesting rabbit-hole.
Also, a lot of this was inspired by @lavenderfairiez’s fic “All I wanted was you” so pls check that out.
Thank you to @xixovart for helping me with the Spanish. I am White As Fuck and British, and I get most of what I know of Latin American culture from In The Heights, so I apologise if I’ve gotten things wrong (I also used google translate for some).
I found I ended up making Jason speak Spanish a lot more than Leo- I feel like Jason is definitely more of an “endearing pet names” kinda guy, wheras Leo is the “fucking ruthless character assassinations” kinda guy. I also have this hc that Jason absolutely LOVES to speak Spanish to Leo, and does it at every opportunity. He thinks of it as “Leo’s language” and adores the fact that he can speak it now, because him and Leo are together, and that makes him so fucking happy.
Jason thinks Leo is just the best thing to ever happen to existence, and I love that.
Lot o’ thoughts about wedding vows, and the theme of promises for Valgrace and PJO in general. I’ve already made a post about it here
Leo is autisic. I feel like that had to be said bc it fuels a lot of my writing choices for this fic. Also I love it. Jason is so accommodating for his needs. They both look after each other and I love that for them.
I have WAY more where that came from. I have a timeline, a backstory, and, like, ten other fic ideas set in that universe. I have AUs of this AU. I have concept art. I have headcanons.
Please let me know what bits of this you enjoyed best, so that I can get a good idea of what to write next.
Page dividers made by me. I spent ages on them and I’m really proud of them so I might reblog with a few close-ups.
Tagging my usual fanfic/Valgrace peeps: @ottpopfic @ginnyluna @groverapologist @echo-stimmingrose @demigod-shenanigans @keefessketchbook @sleepyycapybara @imnoturfriend-im-a-swiftie13 @euryvices @123letsgobestie @kaleidoskuls @fairytalesociology @four-leafed-queer-gal @child-of-helios @green-tea217 @puzzled-pegasus @ollieisanerd @twomanyfandomshelp @lokiwiiiiiii @yoshuko-ew @keefessketchbook @frankzhang-appreciation-posts @frayna-of-the-hollow @via-rant @daonedaonlyskh @hadeslegacyhephgirl @siimplyapril @pjowasmy1stfandom
Thank you, from the bottom of my heart, to everyone in the Valgrace community- any hcs or posts that inspired me. You guys are just the best.
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dude i HAVE to know what your beef is with thomas the train
well! thomas is only the no. 1 engine because he got super popular. henry was the first character introduced. but thomas. thomas was a total shithead in the books. his first story is him getting justice from gordon. thomas was meant to be a different locomotive but ended up being an london, brighton and south coast railway (post-1923 it became part of the southern railway) E2, which hhholy shit they were shit. they were a little too powerful and resource-hungry for shunting and light duties, but also not powerful enough and didn't have the storage capacity needed to do actual goods or passenger services. apparently the railway workers fucking hated the things and I understand why! and apparently they sucked for dock work too, once they ended up in the southampton dockyards, because their wheel base was too long for tight curves, which also iirc the southern railway has a LOT of really tight curves on it making locomotive design on the railway, and its previous constituent railways that amalgamated into it, particularly unique? I think I read that somewhere. but imagine being known for having tight curves on your lines and then making an engine that was shit on tight curves lol
#best not quote me on any of this but I've heard this stuff passed around before#it's funny that I thought thomas was my favourite character as a kid lol. it was actually duck I was just dumb#well. I'd be lying if I said that it was actually stepney. but I don't remember watching stepney in the tv show so I defaulted to thomas#anyway I still really like duck! mostly because of that headcanon that he's autistic I think that the coding is why i like him#because tbh? there are much better character arcs in the railway series and yes there ARE character arcs#but your honour I like this little fellow.#speaking of little fellows the skarloey railway am I right#that is. offtopic lol#also not to be pedantic but thomas is Not a train#a train in terms of transportation refers to an engine of some sort pulling carriages wagons or containers or thereabouts#which is how you get things like road train. but railways with trains predate locomotives!#for example on the ffestiniog railway#I think it was that one it was one of the slate railways in wales#had horse-drawn trains before the locomotives were invented!#so thomas is a locomotive. specifically a steam engine. and more specifically a tank engine#referring to the fact that instead of having a tender to carry extra water and coal in he has a tank and coal bunker at the back#sorry that is the intersection of me being not only autistic and a railway nerd but also an english student
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if nobody else got me i know buddi chucky got me can i get an amen
#he has autism your honour#if i posted the essay i wrote about his neurodivergent coding and what it means to me as an autistic person would anyone read it JFNSKFSKD#it's not super polished but everytime i hyperfixate on this movie i fine-tune it a little bit more so i might actually finish it this time#im also super tired i have to work tomorrow which is normally my day off so rip to me </3#talking.txt
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For the blorbo ask! Your blorbos are:
Parker
The whole cast of My Girlfriend's Boyfried
Lan Wangji (obv)
Parker again
Merrill
Gu Xiang
Parker Leverage: 12/10 she is everything to me I would die for her
The cast of My Girlfriend's Boyfriend: hmmm depends how one defines Blorbo? If I were to pick my favourite it would be Ya Dang, if we're going with "affectionate/derogatory" it's a-Zhai all the way, if we're going with "songs make me think of them" the only song that makes me think of them really is In The Middle by Dodi. Oh, and I also really like the fangirl character - I like that she's portrayed as sensible and isn't totally defined by being a fujoshi. And she's super cute. 8/10
Lan Wangji: free space 10/10 he's so regal and gentlemanly and secretly feral and I love that for him. Similarly to Parker the moment that sealed my love is when she got overwhelmed and stabbed someone/he got overwhelmed and bit someone.
Parker: only 10/10 this time no more bonus points but give me an Autistic coded character who is deeply and unconventionally kind and I will give you my soul
Merrill: 10/10 I think the only Dragon Age character who could rival her for my affection might be Cole? They should meet it would go horribly
Gu Xiang: 5/10 I love her but my Blorbo for Word of Honour is Xie'er. Maybe Ye Baiye.
Total score: 55/60
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TANYAAAAAA. I READ YOUR COMMENT LAST NIGHT RIGHT BEFORE BED SO I COULDN'T ANSWER PROPERLY BUT WHEN I TELL YOU MY HEART WAS RACING SDKJFHSKDJFHSJKDF you're so cute, ilysm.
i HAVE to comment on your comment. i MUST. this is gonna be SUPER LNG and i'm probably going to overshare details you didn't ask for sdkjfhsdkjfsfhd
not you going on your laptop to write the comment KJSDFHSKJFHJSD got me cackling. 117k words are a lot of words to read omg you did read this quite fast.
the fact that you got to enjoy it this much when fantasy isn't your thing is just so 🥺🥺🥺 warms my heart !!
the queen is like the loml istg i'd date her too but she's too in love with chris for her to give us the time of day SIGH
when i was writing this fic i literally went like "you know what? fuck homophobia, being queer is the norm just because i say so" so i did this KJDSHFKSJDF to the point where now when i read a fic that's not like this i'm like…. "huh…. right. we're not the norm" lmaoo
adding the little irl details was just soooo fun. i needed to pay tribute to Chris' iconic red hair (i'm a redhair!Chris defender/lover first and human second).
the whole piercing thing i don't explain it in the story (i did it in a spin-off i wrote literally only for my bsf and i that focuses on Sol and how he bonded with hoseok because we love sol and hoseok skjdfhsjkdf), but essentially Liraleans get one or more piercings done when they turn 18 as a rite of passing, so Chris did it, too. not only because he thought it'd look cool but because he wanted to honour the tradition as well even if he was weeellll past 18.
i'm so happy you liked the pacing and the chemestry and complexity of it all. this fic is my baby💜
your comment made me realise i need to get back to working on the drabbles. i think i haven't posted one since january and i have lots of them hahaha like 30k+ words worth of drabbles or smth.
as for what inspired me… several things. my brain likes to find escape in fake worlds it likes to create, so a few years ago before bed i started thinking this scenario like… "what if there was a group of rebels… running away from someone for some reason, and they end up stranded on a planet, and they're taken to the throne room and almost executed but the queen of the planet saves them and then turns out she's also a rebel?" i didn't make anything with it until last year i remembered it and i was already deep into my skz brain-rot so the concept started growing and growing in my head.
the final detonator was me watching obi-wan kenobi and being like I NEEED LOVE IN SPACE. I NEED IT, and also me getting deep into breath of the wild again (a lot of the Sheikah concepts in the legend of zelda games also inspired me a lot). so SH was born kjsdhfskjdf if i'm being honest, i just started writing shit. like i kept getting ideas and scenarios and concepts for this world and i just wrote them down ! shit like "oooohhh what if they're soulmates". or "oooohhh what if the queen has a king but THEY'RE TWINS NOT REALLY MARRIED and Chris' all sad abouttt ittt until he finds out". or "WHAT IF OTHER KPOP IDOLS EXIST IN THIS UNIVERSE" sdjskdasdj (i'm so deep into SH lore that the only reason BTS weren't in the Alliance was because i made them Liraleans and childhood friends of the twins. i can even give THAT an explanation lmaooo).
one thing about me is that in any significant story i'll add twins. this is something i've done since i started writing fanfiction when i was like 12 years old sdfjhsdkjf so the Queen and her brother are just soooo dear to me. i love them with my whole heart. i call them my Neurodivergent Twins because they're autistic/adhd coded lol. why did i do it? because i'm autistic and i wanted to do it, that's literally it.
also yes, as a raging demisexual it's impossible for me not to build the emotional connection first dsjkfhsdkjf which is why i love friends to lovers and soulmate aus so much, they let you do a lot of that.
honestly, all i can say is that your comment made my whole week. i love when people get to read safe haven and share their thoughts with me, especially if they enjoyed it. this fic is bigger than some books out there, so i know that puts people off, but it's okay. those that can take the time to read it i just really appreciate a lot💜💜💜
Safe Haven (M) ~Bang Chan | Series Masterlist
Pairing: SpaceRebel!Chan x Female Character (unnamed). Themes: Fantasy/Sci-Fi AU | Slow Burn | Pining | Soulmate AU if you squint | Angst | Smut | Fluff (sprinkled here and there). Series Warnings: Star Wars concepts (mostly to refer to weapons and tech. no jedi stuff) | violence | swearing | mature themes and language | original characters | smut (later chapters) | mention of the members of other groups (later chapters) | no one is straight, beware.
Due to all the abovementioned warnings, this story is intended for an adult audience only. Minors please do not interact.
Summary: Being a rebel fighting against a galactic oppressor was no easy feat, but it was something Chan took great pride in. As they took part in a stealth mission, Chan and his friends found themselves on an unknown planet, meeting a mysterious ally; an ally that, over the course of five long months, will help Chan regain hope.
Word Count: 117k | Cross-posted on AO3.
Index: Day 1. | Day 2. | Day 3. | Day 4. | Day 5. | Day 6. | Day 7. | Day 8. | Day 9. | Day 10. | Day 15. | Day 17. | Day 60. | Day 82. | Day 90. | Day 91. | Day 92. | Day 152. | Day 159. | Epilogue.
Post story drabbles/One Shots.
Keep reading
#safe haven my beloved#leedunno#f.sh#🌙💜~feedback#i really hope i get to re-write/re-edit this beast sometime this year. it deserves it
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Alex Recommends: May and June Books
I must apologise for the late arrival of this post. It should have been up days ago but I’ve been struggling to read much for the last month or so. My head has been very foggy and dark with all of the confusion, anxiety and hate that has been filling my news feeds and I’ve been filled with a desire to combat it. Before this month, I’d have run in the opposite direction from any kind of confrontation but recent events have given me the kick up the butt to actively do better. I’ve been calling out bigotry when I come across it and I’ve noticed that some people, notably my older relatives, haven’t necessarily reacted favorably to the changed, more outspoken Alex. It has been pretty daunting and I’ve worked myself up into fits of rage and tears several times over the last couple of months.
A lot of things have changed for me since my last Alex Recommends post. I’m currently temporarily living in Staffordshire with my boyfriend because my depression got too bad for me to stay at home for much longer. I missed him unbelievably much and I knew that spending some prolonged time with him would help -and it has. Both him and I have spent 12 weeks religiously following all of the rules, so we’re both extremely low-risk for catching and spreading COVID-19 and being together was something that we simply really needed to do. Please don’t hate me for it! In other news, I have also started writing again, which feels amazing. I’m now a few thousand words into a queer Rapunzel retelling that I have lots of ideas for. Maybe I’ll even post an extract or two, when I feel it’s ready to show you.
In the centre of the renewed energy of Black Lives Matter and the undeniable exposure of the horrors that is police brutality, the book blogging and BookTube worlds vowed to uplift Black voices. I wrote a very long, in-depth blog post full of Black-written books and Black book influencers. Please check it out to diversify your TBR and educate yourself on Black issues, which is what every white person should be doing now and always.
June was Pride Month and I tried my best to compile a series of recommendation posts in honour of it. These included gay, lesbian, bisexual, transgender, non-binary, ace, pansexual and intersex lists. I’ve had some great feedback on this, so I hope you find some fantastic new reads. It felt especially poignant to put them together the same year that one of my childhood heroes came out as an ignorant trans-exclusive feminist. As a lifelong Harry Potter superfan and someone who has repeatedly publicly supported Rowling in the past, I feel the need to clarify where I now stand. I do not support or agree with a single thing that she has said in recent times with regard to transgender people. I’ve never felt my own status as a cisgender female threatened by trans people wanting more rights or believed that children or women were at risk due to their existence.
I read her words more than once and struggled to find any semblance of the woman who wrote the books that have most defined my life. I’m hesitant to say that we can always successfully separate the art from the artist but I will say that it makes sense to me that the Rowling of 2020 is not the same Rowling that wrote Harry Potter. She was a destitute single mother when Philosopher’s Stone was published in 1997 and of course, she is now a million worlds away from that lifestyle. It breaks my heart but it makes sense to me that she has changed beyond belief because her life has changed beyond belief. I’m not and never would make any excuses for her recent behaviour and I have stopped supporting her personally but I will not be getting rid of my Harry Potter books and I will undoubtedly re-read them several more times. However, I am now hugely reluctant to buy any more merchandise or special editions of the books, which saddens me but at the moment, it feels right. There is no coming back for her from this and I will make a conscious effort to keep Harry Potter and Rowling away from my future content. It can be really tough to admit that the people you once really admired aren’t great humans but it’s something that we all have to acknowledge in this case, in order to move forward with our own quests to become our best selves.
It didn’t feel right to post my May recommendations last month as I didn’t feel comfortable promoting my own content in the midst of boosting Black voices. So today I’m bringing you a bumper edition of Alex Recommends. Here are 10 books that I’ve enjoyed since the start of May that I’d love to share with you. Enjoy! -Love, Alex x
FICTION: Little Fires Everywhere by Celeste Ng
Set in the affluent neighbourhood of Shaker Heights, Ohio in the 1990s, two families are brought together and pulled apart by the most intense, devastating circumstances. Dealing with issues of race, class, coming-of-age, motherhood and the dangers of perfection, Little Fires Everywhere is highly addictive and effecting. With characters who are so heartbreakingly real and a story that weaves its way to your very core, I couldn’t put it down and I’m still thinking about it over a month after finishing it.
FICTION: Get A Life, Chloe Brown by Talia Hibbert
When coding nerd Chloe Brown almost dies, she makes a list of goals and vows to finally Get A Life. So she enlists tattooed redhead handyman and biker Red to teach her how. Cute, funny and ultimately life-affirming, this enemies-to-lovers rom-com was exactly the brand of light relief that I needed this month. The follow-up Take A Hint, Dani Brown focuses on a fake-dating situation with Chloe’s over-achieving academic sister and I can’t wait to get my hands on that.
FICTION: The Rearranged Life of Oona Lockhart by Margarita Montimore
Just before her 19th birthday at midnight on New Year’s Eve 1983, Oona Lockhart finds herself inexplicably in 2015 inside her 51-year-old body. She soon learns that every year on New Year’s Day, she will now find herself inside a random year of her life and she has no control over it. Seeing her through relationships, friendships and extreme wealth, this strange novel has echoes of Back To The Future and 13 Going On 30 with a final revelation that I certainly never saw coming.
NON-FICTION: The Five by Hallie Rubenhold
Atmospheric and engaging, The Five details the previously untold stories of Polly, Annie, Elisabeth, Kate and Mary-Jane -the women who lost their lives at the hands of Jack the Ripper. Full of fascinating research and heartbreaking accounts of what these women’s lives may have been like, Rubenhold paints a dark immersive portrait of Victorian London and gives voice to these tragic silenced lives. Although we can’t know for certain if these accounts are entirely accurate, they feel very plausible and in some ways, The Five exposes how little time has moved on, when it comes to the public portrayal of single, troubled women.
NON-FICTION: Unicorn by Amrou Al-Kadhi
From a childhood crush on Macaulay Culkin to how a teenage obsession with marine biology helped them realise their non-binary identity, Unicorn tells the story of how the obsessive perfectionist son of a strict Muslim Iraqi family became the gorgeous drag queen Glamrou. Packed full of humour, honesty and heart, this book will give you the strength and inspiration to harness what you were born with and be who you were always meant to be.
MIDDLE-GRADE: The Super Miraculous Journey of Freddie Yates by Jenny Pearson
When fact-obsessed Freddie’s grandmother dies, he discovers that the father he has never met may actually be alive and living in Wales. So he has no choice but to grab his best friends Ben and Charlie, leave his home in Andover and go to find his dad! I laughed so many times during this madcap adventure and I know the slapstick crazy humour will hit the middle-grade target audience just right. It’s also a wonderful depiction of small town Britain with a focus on the true meaning of family.
MIDDLE-GRADE: A Kind Of Spark by Elle McNicoll
When Addie learns about her hometown’s history of witch trials, she campaigns tirelessly to get a memorial for the women who lost their lives through it. This wonderfully beautiful novel gives a unique insight into the mind of an 11-year-old autistic girl with a huge heart. Busting myths about neurodiversity while tackling typical pre-teen drama, you’ll laugh, you’ll cry but most of all, you’ll close the book with a huge smile on your face.
HISTORICAL FICTION: Hamnet by Maggie O’Farrell
In 16th century Warwickshire, Agnes is a woman with a unique gift whose relationship with a young Latin tutor produces three children and a legacy that lasts for centuries. This enchanting, all-consuming account of the tragic story of Shakespeare’s lost son, the effects that rippled through the family and the play that was born from their pain will send a bullet straight through your heart. Wonderfully researched and beautifully written, Hamnet is worth all of the hype.
HISTORICAL FICTION: The Mercies by Kiran Millwood Hargrave
When a vicious storm kills most of the men of Vardø, Norway, it’s up to the women to keep things going but a man with a murderous past is about to come down with an iron fist. At the heart of this dark tale of witch trials, grief and feminism, two women find something they’ve each been searching for within each other. Gorgeously written with a fantastically slow-burning queer romance, Kiran Millwood Hargrave’s first adult novel is an addictive, atmospheric read with a poignant, tearjerker of an ending.
SCI-FI: Q by Christina Dalcher
When one of Elena’s daughters manages to drop below the country’s desired Q number, she is sent away to one of the new state schools and Elena is about to find out something she’d really rather not know about the new system. Packed full of real social commentary and critique of life as we know it while painting a picture of how things could be even worse (yes, really!), this pulse-racing, horrifying sci-fi dystopian gripped me from the first page and refused to let me go.
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hi!! do you have any tmnt headcanons?
ok so i have A Lot so im gonna narrow it to disability headcanons for now
None Of The Turtles Are Neurotypical
they all probably have a mix of neurodivergences and like speaking as someone who’s autistic and has A Lot of overlap with adhd symptoms it can be hard to separate out sometimes so i’m just gonna focus on the neurodivergence i think is more prominant for each of the turtles
mikey having adhd is a pretty common headcanon in the fandom and for pretty much every incarnation which is gr9 (also it’s canon in 2012 which is. Unfortunate given how shit they treat him but that’s a rant for another time)
problems especially with attention and impulse control
his hyperfixation is pop culture of course. whatever it is tho changes pretty rapidly
it’s also canon that mikey has the most talent of the turts but lacks the focus to fully wield it
he has Wildly sporadic knowledge and knows the Randomest shit
(source)
as a result he’s the absolute king of trivial pursuit
raph also has adhd
poor impulse control + emotional regulation
his hyperfixations include wrestling and motorcycling
punching bags are his main outlet for anger and for stimming
leo is autistic and his special interest is ninjutsu
he also uses it to stim
leo has pretty black and white thinking and adheres Very Strictly his code of honour
Extremely Anxious about going against splinter’s wishes/rules etc, much more than the others
donnie is also autistic
his special interests are technology and inventing etc.
Loves to infodump and his bros and splinter are supportive listeners
they Love and Support donnie but often have no idea what the fuck he’s saying
which is why when he meets april he’s over the moon to have someone he can reciprocally infodump with and bounce ideas off
he hyperfocuses A Lot and can forget to eat and sleep
his family has to remind him to do those things some times
he’s built/procured many stim toys for himself and his brothers over the years
all the boys love to pressure stim
they often just Pile together, especially if they’ve had a hard day/battle etc.
when they were younger, especially in the early days, they would stroke splinter’s fur as a way to soothe and ground themselves
splinter in turn would repetitively stroke their heads as a soothing method and also gives Great Hugs
(it was much easier back when they were smaller and he could fit all four in his arms)
petting klunk is also a good stim and there are occasionally scuffles over who gets to pet him since the four of them petting him at once is overwhelming for the poor cat
however mikey gets first dibs because he’s the one who found him ofc
inspired by a couple of headcanons i’ve seen floating around about that the turts are HoH
which makes sense since they don’t have a pinna (the external part of your ear) to funnel sound towards the ear drum
while their mutation may have helped them develop better hearing than your average turtle, it’s still not on the same level as a typical human
irl turtles are much better at detecting low frequencies compared to high and their hearing is more suited for underwater
headcanon by @softdonnie that they’ve developed their own sign language
mainly based off ASL but also heavily modified, especially to account for their three fingers (dont get me started about how they should be pentadactyl like us)
also good for when any of them have non-verbal days
april and casey learnt it fairly soon after meeting the turts
even cody knows some from reading their journal and the turts and splinter teach him even more during their time in the future
anyway this got rly long and rambly and there’s more but i cant remember rn and i should rly get some sleep since i have work tomorrow so uhh hope u like it anon and thank u for sending this in :)
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RIIIGHT! How could I forget, Thrawn the 'I can and will name every insect and flower we pass cause that is just the type of autism I have' guy (the flower one here in honour of that moment with Anakin at the beginning of Alliances when Thrawn starts monologuing about the grass and Anakin just goes like 'thought you were with the military but you go, flower boy' and Thrawn just clarifies that he downloaded the whole flora/fauna data of the planet before leaving his ship xd) [also I stand with autistic Thrawn the coding is just so...THERE]
So real for Aralani assigning staff for the animals Thrawn and Ezra bring in there because Thrawn would totally forget about the basic needs of every living creature ("what do you mean, I cannot pet it 24/7?>:(") And the general idea of the whole fleet kind of getting used to it because it actually calms the Skywalkers is so cute. TwT Especially since most of them are still quite young, children actually who have to help with military operations and the thought of every child having an emotional support animal that may even stay by their side is actually so adorable.
And they would totally take turns teaching Thrawn! Not only because one can only fanthom a certain amount of his bullshit ("NOOO, you may not do as you think just because the reasoning of the politicians seems irrational to you!" *sprays Thrawn with water*) but also because this man just asks so. many. questions. Like he's the guy in the back of the class you always hoped was sick on the day you had to hold a presentation cause his questions sucked more than yhe one your teacher would ask you. XD love him for that though but he drives Eli, Ezra and Aralani crazy with coming up with the most absurd problem one could possibly imagine.
And I also hope that we'll see something like that in the Ahsoka show!
You are so right. XD Ezra loves to tease both of them with it though. He cannot wrap his head around Eli's doubts whether Thrawn actually likes him because to Ezra it is so obvious that Eli is very important to Thrawn but he also won't miss out on any opportunity to mock Yhrawn for not being able to actually TALK about his emotions for once. His favourite activity becomes putting Thrawn and Eli into situations in which any normal being would totally lose it just to test how much it takes to get Thrawn to talk about his feelings. Eventually he realizes that's not how it works but the whole Chiss Ascendancy GASPED when Thrawn walked up to Ezra one day and asked him "what the actual fuck he was up to" in the thickest Wild Space accent ever (let's not forget ELI was the one who taught him basic. And let's not forget that Thrawn taught Anakin local swear words on Mokivj. Let's especially not forget about the last part because I feel like no one heard Thrawn ever swear in his life).
Also take this as an official request to make "the giggle gang" the official name for Ezra and Eli.
And I need to catch up on a few Legends books as well! I can totally recommend starting off with the 'Heir to the Empire' trilogy given the fact that it's probably not only the most popular one but also the literal quote about Thrawn from the trailer. ^=^
After reading Treason again I just wanna say that I'm convinced Thrawn was buzzing with joy when Ezra decided to yeet both of them into the Unknown Regions.
#eventhough i get the slight feeling you might have already read them#also the covers of those books especially that one vetsion of the last command cover are so so so aesthetic to me(*꒦ິ꒳꒦ີ)<3#and i totally live for the Ascendancy basically being like summer camp for ezra#not at last bc that boy also needs a break#like he's just a teen but also a commander of the rebels??? someone hug him pls#and convinced that thrawn and ezra either have 1 braincell they share or they just straight up almost starts WARS over their different view#eli is so done with them#but yes going wyld over thrawn and his sassy emotional support human is one of my favourite things to do#mostly also because of the points you mentioned about thrawn loving details and having many details himself#or like eli once said that thrawn likes to observe and rely on habits while he has many of his own#also feel you so much on the needing mutuals thing since oc friends know start wars since it's almost impossible not to but they don't KNOW#and i also love this#who jeeds sanity when there's thrawn#he also doesn't have any left#also totally in the army as well#sign me uuuup#seventh fleet>>>>>
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