#he's also an international student like me
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ain't no love; pt. 5
"that's why i said ain't no love" (finale)
— miles g morales x gn!reader series
SERIES SUMMARY: Miles G Morales is just a kid without a father; the Prowler is just a "rotten" vigilante. Both of them start coming into your life — one in the middle of the semester, and the other by total accident.
SERIES MASTERLIST 📼 ← PART 4 / PART 5 / EPILOG. →
chapter summary: [MULTI-POV] Miles has been a ghost, so you decide to do your own digging. Your answer might have just found you first.
content/warnings: graphic depictions of violence and injury grieving, death
word count: 8.7k (WHAT)
a/n: hey 😁 there's gonna be a teeny tiny epilogue after this one but this is the official end to aint no love! thanks to @/qiuweyballs forever for proofreading this series wouldn't exist without him 🙏
"I need that edit by 3pm, Watson!"
"Got it."
Even if the office was filled with the constant clack of keyboards, or desk phones ringing, or even Jameson himself barking right by her ear — as he was right now — MJ still had to keep up her persona. Agreeable, non-confrontational, all part of company protocol. There was no time for personal opinions or rebuttals, other than Jameson's; she was sure everyone would start coming in tin hats if it meant keeping their jobs.
"You're falling behind, you know," he continued as she quickly clicked off of the email she was working on. "Going to that school fair of yours set you at least a week behind!"
"It was one afternoon, sir. And I'm all caught up, the edit's not due until—"
"The edit is due when I say it's due. You out of all people should understand how things work around here by now. Get it done!"
The man sauntered off without much opportunity for her to reply, a cup of coffee crumpling between his fingers that he probably had yet to take a sip of. The poor intern that had made it would be the next to get an earful when he did try it, she was sure. Too much sugar! Not enough milk! Did you make this with your eyes closed? she recalled. MJ had heard it all by now.
Jameson didn't really have the gall to fire her — she knew that at the very least. The article could wait, however. Visions was yet to release a statement about their fired teacher, and the article would just look like all their other ones — speculatory and clickbait-y with not very much actual information. The Sinister Six ones certainly did well though, always on their broadcasts and the front of their website. Even NNC didn't have as much notoriety as the Bugle did with its less-than skeptical audiences.
The Visions student, right. With a few pasted links and a couple attachments, along with a lackluster "Good luck!" tacked on the end, she hit send. Good to know kids still have dumb email addresses.
She didn't take being abandoned a second time at the fair personally, really — everyone was fifteen once — but she couldn't help but wonder what had happened. It was almost imperceptible, but she knew when a smile looked off. There was something noticeably different about you when you had come back.
"MJ, uh, can I get your business card by any chance?"
"You know what a business card is?" she had joked, but it hadn't done much to ease the discomfort. "Yeah, sure. Contact me if you need anything."
"Yeah, thanks."
You'd asked for articles. Specifically on the Chameleon, and on the recent Prowler activity. You hadn't told her much, just that you needed help compiling some information for school. Some... presentation. MJ wasn't sure whether it was a lie or not, but it was all publicly available information anyhow.
You'd also wanted any information on Visions "teacher", Garrett East. His arrest had been for identity theft, and nothing more. Not many had reported on it as of yet, given he was detained so recently, but you were an insider. He had apparently been your calculus teacher, and the man that he had stolen the identity of had supposedly gone missing a few months before Garrett returned in his place. At least, that's all she had of her article. Maybe it wasn't the best idea to send it to a random high school student before her own boss, but it also wasn't like the man had any real idea what went on in his company. It was a wonder they managed to get through the quarter.
It was just a favour for someone nice she'd met. Maybe it'd repay her in some way in the future, most likely not. Regardless, she couldn't help but smile a little when she noticed her phone light up, a "thank you" text under your name. If only she actually had a work phone number, and it wasn't just her regular one. Visions students making connections already, it seemed.
The time on the screen was 2:41pm. She was met face to face with her wallpaper once again — a low-lit picture of her and a brown-haired man with glasses, the two of them smiling, red faced and dressed like their college selves. Peter Parker, her fiancé. They were holding those terrible beers he'd sworn by. He was a photographer, but this was one of the only pictures he'd taken of them together. It was shot on a bite-sized digital camera they'd bought for college, but never ended up using much. Now, it was all she really had.
Maybe the Chameleon really had come back when Peter had gone missing. Maybe it had something to do with you, with Visions
You probably already had a lot on your plate. And so did she. If she had anybody to chase, it was Otto Octavius. He'd offered Peter an internship in Manhattan. She'd never seen the man herself, only heard from him how good of a person he was, how this was going to get him a job and that it'd be good for them. That he'd finally get some use out of his degree and get to pursue science instead of taking "crummy" pictures for the Bugle. That they could save up for their wedding, and...
That was in Manhattan. The disappearances now were in Brooklyn. And even then, it was coming close to a year since he had disappeared.
She was always running in circles, at the command of an old man with a head too big for his body.
2:43pm. MJ turned off her phone, sliding it into her pocket.
Better get this edit finished.
2:43pm. Wednesday.
Ideally, with a couple days off of school, you would probably be at home, or maybe even out doing something fulfilling with your life. Maybe you could've even gone somewhere with Miles, if he hadn't up-and-disappeared along with every trace of him.
Your unread messages to him faded to black, leaving you to stare at your own face. Maybe you could've used those extra days to sleep, if it hadn't been for the chilling glow of purple eyes or the melting disfigured face that threatened to materialise everytime you closed your eyes.
What did he even like? Comics that he'd mentioned to you once? Of course he'd want to go to a comic book store with you after you'd made fun of him for seeming to want to deal with criminals himself. If only he'd come save you from Brooklyn Public Library right now. You were certain it couldn't get any more swampy in here with all the Visions students scrambling to do their off-day work right now.
Reading through the reply to a ballsy request you'd given to the Bugle's head journalist, you had a few questions in mind other than the ones concerning your disappearing, sort-of friend. Was all this research really practical? Maybe not. Would it help you sleep to know that the guy that had been teaching you calculus since the start of sophomore year was actually posing as a man that had gone missing months ago?
Another very normal thing that only seemed to happen to you.
Maybe you just attracted bad luck. That girl in your history class had joked about it last year, after you'd bumped into your teacher and every single paper he'd been holding had fallen to the ground in one scattered disaster. She wouldn't let it go, and it appeared that your brain wouldn't either.
Or like that time you went to Oscorp on a visit day and happened to be the only one there, trapped with a shapeshifting monster and the Prowler on the 90 millionth floor of that god-damned tower.
Maybe it was bad luck, or maybe you were cursed — or maybe you just walked into these situations on purpose. Like right now, sifting through years of articles on real criminals, with nothing but a hunch or fifteen.
The Chameleon had been arrested, like Miles had said, eight years ago on accounts of identity theft, much like your "teacher" but also very little like your teacher. According to what you were reading, Dmitri Smerdyakov been dubbed "the Chameleon" for a string of carefully orchestrated take-overs of big companies after impersonating their CEOs. His defence had argued that the big names in these companies were gone because they "wanted to be free of the burden of running their own companies".
You didn't have to be a journalist to make a face at that.
There was no mention of shapeshifting, as you'd seen with Wellston and Stromm. Just a couple lousy identity theft charges that didn't add up to their total amount anyway. This guy had more luck than you'd ever had.
The only other person that had seen any "shapeshifting" happen was Miles, and although he'd seemed surprised, something about his reaction was strange. You couldn't place it, but there was some sort of analytical twinge in his eyes, as if he was solving a math problem and not looking at someone shapeshift for the first time. You didn't know anything, really. Miles seemed like he did, though. If only you could bump into him and wring it out of him. And maybe go buy overpriced comic books with him and forget about the fact that your teacher had been arrested and midterms were coming up and maybe even become actual friends.
If only you were that lucky.
If only it was that easy to move past, as well. The fact that someone that had been involved in disappearances 8 years ago might be mixed up with this, along with the recent uptick in missing people made you feel uneasy. Surely any detective would have put two and two together by now, but remembering the fact that the shapeshifter had turned into a literal police officer dissolved any reassurance that thought might've brought. You were in a public library surrounded by unoptimistic college students, parents with their kids and even some of your own classmates, but the feeling was completely your own, tucked away behind a computer screen and a booked monitor session.
You couldn't be scared, though. You'd already seen probably the scariest thing in your life, kind-of almost died, and been wound up in so much craziness you knew so little about. If only high school had prepared you for researching literal criminals.
"Your 30 minute session is over. You will be logged out shortly."
God damn it.
If only Brooklyn Public Library's computer sessions weren't 30 minutes. You didn't want to log back in anyway, not if someone had booked after you. You could go back home, the library had just been an excuse to get out, really. Not that you'd made a whole new email and signed in as a guest on the computer. Not that you were paranoid.
Picking up your bag and checking your messages one last time you made a beeline for the exit. Well, less of a line and more of a strange obstacle course through the swarm of people. And of course you had to knock into someone. Just your luck.
"Hey, sorry," you mumbled, hands raising just a little in apology. "Are you okay?"
"Yeah, yeah..." The person dusted themself off a little with a frown, before looking up to meet your eyes.
Rafael?
"Hey, it's you," he realised, eyes widening as if he'd just gotten lucky.
Out of all places...
"I... gotta go."
"No, no, wait. I need you to do something."
Of course you do.
"I really don't have the time," you whispered back, as he caught up to your advance towards the doors.
"Uh, hey, listen... You talk to Miles, right? Like, he's your friend?"
"Yeah...?" No...? You weren't even sure at this point.
"Uh, look, I need you to tell him something..."
"What, you're in love with him?" you spat, finally looking at him again. "Cause it seems like it. You're always talking about him. Always talking to me about him."
"What?! No the f*ck I'm no—"
A much louder "shhhhhh!" got your attention. The librarian didn't look too pleased. Neither did any one of the people who turned to look at you.
"I'm not gay, man!"
So, the two of you were now out on the street as Rafael defended his sexuality with nothing but exasperated hand gestures.
"I didn't say that."
"Okay, well I'm not. Damn, why are you acting weird for?"
"Your face is red."
"I'm black!"
"That melanin isn't doing anything for you."
"Shut the f*ck up!"
You rolled your eyes, hiding the way the corners of your mouth were starting to lift with a deep exhale. The poor guy was not very discreetly checking his face right now with the back of his hand.
"What, then? What did you wanna say to him so bad?" you asked, instantly making him retract his hand from his cheek.
"Forget it."
"No, tell me. You got us all the way out here for no reason?"
He gave you a look, before promptly looking away, mumbling something under his breath.
"Didn't hear that." That made him groan loudly. It was akin to a petulant child, if not a few octaves deeper.
"I'm... sorry."
Huh?
"You're... sorry?" you repeated, making him let out a huff.
"Look, I..." Rafael met your eyes again, his narrowing uncomfortably. There was something strange in his expression. "My mom's missing. I dunno who to tell. I know I messed up and I... I get it now. I get it. The thing with his dad."
Oh sh*t.
Remorse. That was what you were seeing in his eyes. Or maybe regret. Neither you thought you'd ever see from him.
"Tell him I'm sorry. Or don't. Whatever," Rafael muttered, kicking a bottle cap on the ground until it skittered to a halt by a dog, who found interest in it as its owner tried to tug it along the pavement.
"You can't tell him yourself?" you replied, brows furrowing. As bad as you felt, this was a personal matter. You weren't about to be a parrot for the guy that hadn't grown out of his bullying phase.
"You think he'd listen?"
"It's understandable if he doesn't."
"And what if he doesn't come back?"
"Why..." What? "Why wouldn't he come back?"
"I... dunno. Why can't you just tell him?"
Huh. "Why wouldn't he come back, huh?"
Rafael gives you a sort of reserved look, as if he's contemplating whether or not to lie to your face.
"I heard something about him while I was in that office. He's like... withdrawing from the school."
"He's... what?" Withdrawing from the school? Could he even withdraw that fast? "Why?"
"I dunno, damn! Just... forget it. I don't know why I even asked you man."
Rafael turned to leave, a scowl forming on his face.
"Hey," you called out, looking away before he could meet your eyes. He didn't turn around, though.
"What?"
"...I'm sorry about your mom," you managed, before he could go far enough. "I hope they find her."
"Yeah," he muttered, before throwing his hood over his head.
And now your friend, not-friend, study buddy was gone. The only person you kind of got along with at all outside of just one class. Another person missing. Rafael's mom. Maybe you needed to get out of Brooklyn for college. You certainly wouldn't miss the subway all too much, you thought, crammed in-between people.
"Stand clear of the closing doors, please."
As soon as you got out of the station and into the street, you were met with a familiar face among the people passing by. Instead of the Visions uniform, he was in a jacket too big for him, crinkled sweatpants and purple Jordans.
Miles. Calc-wiz. Mr. Disappearing Act. Withdrawn from the school, now in front of you and definitely already getting on your nerves.
He was looking at you, a hint of surprise in his otherwise smoothed-over features.
"Miles?"
"Yeah. Can we... talk?" His cheek dimpled with the awkward half-smile you'd only seen a couple times, but you were so strangely familiar with. You didn't know whether to freak out at him in front of a crowd of people or head home and hope that he didn't follow you.
"...Sure," is what comes out of your mouth.
Just your luck.
"~Ain't no love—" Skip.
"~Ha, sicker than your average—"
"Poppa twist cabbage off instinct..." Skip.
Miles was getting sicker than average of his uncle's playlist. Maybe working in silence was better.
He took out his earbuds, setting them on his mess of a desk and picking up the screwdriver again. Uncle Aaron was busy, "out of town", as his voicemail said. Probably doing something Miles wasn't supposed to be involved in. He'd be back in a day or two, as always. Never in one place too long.
Even for someone so experienced, he knew this was his uncle's first real "vigilante" gig. Uncle Aaron wasn't getting paid, nor was he working under someone trying to solve a cold case Jeff had been involved in with his colleagues. His dad was no detective, but always seemed to want to help out, and the police were getting desperate with all the recent missing person's cases. There was no real pattern, and sometimes people would be returned just fine. That's what the police were hoping for.
Dr. Stromm had disappeared for about 2 weeks, and returned to his normal work at Oscorp. That could be excused for a vacation off of work, for all anyone knew. Wellston, however, was still missing. Probably dead. Just a couple had turned up dead. It was so unpredictable that they all seemed unrelated, but the kinds of people going missing were all of use — scientists, lawyers, bank tellers. Wellston had been getting his PhD while teaching before he went missing. All people of use to the Chameleon.
Whoever his uncle was working for at the same time as all of this likely had no idea. He was probably working for that person right now, even when they had this case to deal with.
Miles had only been up to this after his dad had passed, and he knew he wasn't as polished as Aaron — not after what happened at Oscorp. Those gauntlets couldn't focus their energy, even if they were more powerful and he could charge shockwaves through the air almost instantaneously, and he had bragged about it a little too much when they'd tested it in the garage.
Now, he had faint lines on his skin from the excess heat, and had been taking them apart and rebuilding them for weeks in his room. His visor needed work too. It was way better in depth, but the resolution sucked. Even then, he was sure he could make something better than what his uncle had. Rigorous training wasn't enough to do this sort of work. He had to do his own thing, even if he was taking up the same schtick. Eventually his uncle's beard would gray and he'd have to be the real Prowler.
He was a good guy, after all. Like his uncle, like his dad.
By deduction, the Prowler was a good guy too. But he wasn't the Prowler today. He was Miles. The Miles that had been shouted at for trying to quit school again. The Miles that was fifteen and spent his days off building crappy gear.
Maybe on a day like this he could spend time with other people like he did in middle school. Go to a fast food place, or go to Micah's house to play video games, or hang around in some parking lot and run when he and his friends accidentally set off a car alarm. The sun was setting outside his window now. It felt like those evenings where he was reluctant to be taken home by his dad, after he was at Micah's playing GTA on Micah's older brother's console, laughing and screaming, Micah's sister shouting at them to shut up from the hallway.
Miles puts the visor down, walking up to his window and pushing it open. The air didn't get any warmer around this time of year, a cold wind brushing past his face as he stuck his head out to look at the city below.
Above him was the half-finished mural. A colourful backdrop of red and blue, and purple. His dad's face without the glasses, hat without the logo, the text outline without the actual text.
"Captain Jeff Morales. Husband, Hero, Father," read the ghost of the text.
His dad wasn't missing. There was no hope of him turning up one day, and that he could leave the mural unfinished and paint it over with something else. There was no hope that he'd wake up one night and instead of finding himself grasping at air it would be his mom shaking him awake to tell him his dad had come home.
His dad was dead. His dad was facing him right now and smiling like he did every morning before he left the house. His dad was painted on a brick wall, missing his glasses.
Miles knew he wasn't smiling for him. He was smiling for the city. He was the face of PDNY, captain for half a day alive and for the rest of eternity until Brooklyn forgot him, deceased. The mural had made him feel better when he hadn't been able to leave his own bedroom and decided to get up and start it with his uncle, but now he felt all sorts of emotions swirling through him. Regret, anger, grief, all of it at the same time — only to stop right at his tear ducts, tightening his throat.
He hadn't cried back then; his mom shared the pain of the both of them, even now. Even when they went to his tombstone, she was the only one that had cried as he'd kept a reassuring hand on her back.
Selfish, were the tears that blurred his vision, not heavy enough to roll down his face.
He sat, staring, eyes stinging yet soothed by the moisture. The sun cast a halo around the building, the mural in shadow and the city behind flooded in red-orange light.
"Husband, Hero, Father."
Was he a hero before he was his father? He had painted that himself. He knew his dad was a good guy. Was he a good guy before he was a good dad?
His thoughts were interrupted with the buzz of his phone in his pocket. There was a message on the notification bar, overtaking the text he'd been yet to reply to from his mom.
Are you the miles talking to me right now 1m ago
It was you.
Cause you're acting weird
And you just read my message without taking out your phone
What the...?
no wtf are u talking abt Read 4:51PM
where ru Read 4:51PM
His fingers hovered above the keys, glancing briefly at the gauntlet at his desk.
With a guy that looks exactly like u
You're the real miles right
He wracked his brain for something, anything as he ran back towards his desk.
6 liters per hour Read 4:53PM
What???
OH
Okay calc genius help me out please?????
He let out a breath between his teeth, shoving his gauntlets in his backpack and throwing on his gear haphazardly.
The Chameleon. Becoming him.
I'm at Marge's on moore st
ok just stay there go into the bathroom Read 4:55PM
don't leave til i text u Read 4:55PM
What are u gonna do??? the restaurant is empty
He's gonna look for me
He was acting so weird if that's not u then it's probably chameleon right
So you did believe him about the Chameleon. Or maybe you were the Chameleon and just being incredibly smart. He couldn't be 100% sure. Not like he ever was. Swooping out of his window, he threw his hoodie down to hang off the fire escape stairs before starting to run up the side of his building, shoes vacuuming him to stand horizontally.
probably Read 4:55PM
ur gonna take him outside in a couple min Read 4:55PM
Why???
just trust me Read 4:55PM
ill be there in 3m Read 4:56PM
The sky was now a shade of blue-purple, the reds and oranges dissolving behind the skyline. It was getting dark, and fast.
Okay
Manoeuvering through the maze of buildings with his shoes keeping him a thousand feet from being heard or seen, Miles headed for Moore Street with the little map in his peripheral vision. When he got there, all that welcomed him was a lone street lamp that had yet to turn on, a couple of closed local grocer's and a dimly-lit diner named "Marge", a discoloured space next to it the shape of an "s". Close enough.
Sifting through the modes on his visor, he settled when he saw the outline of two people. One strangely shaped like him and one strangely shaped like you.
He climbed down a little, dimming the lights on his gear completely as he receded into a small alley. The guy definitely looked like him physically. Tall, handsome, standing outside the bathroom, shifting on his toes...? Creasing my Jordans? Seriously?
Oh, yeah he had you to deal with. And himself, apparently.
leave now Read 4:58PM
Miles had about zero idea how to, but he needed to figure it out in about 30 seconds from now.
K
You made your way out of the bathroom, and he moved to the side of the diner you were closest to from outside to get a better view.
"...Gotta go home..."
"...Lemme walk you..."
As you left the store into the empty street, he could make out the slight twinge of nervousness on your face as you looked around ― probably looking for him and finding nobody.
"Hold on, I gotta text my parents..." You took out your phone, turning yourself a little to obscure the screen.
"Yeah, that's cool." Sounded almost exactly like him. Creepy.
go into that alley on your right and run home Read 5:00PM
Ur kidding
you gotta trust me Read 5:00PM
At that moment, you took one last look at your phone before turning into the alleyway. You were just a couple quick steps into the alley when his doppelganger grabbed yourshoulder.
"What the hell are you doing, Miles?!" you shouted suddenly, trying to pull yourself free, only to be thrown against the wall of the alleyway.
"I'm doing you a favour. You're not going to school anymore," he responded, his tone suddenly flat and nothing like it was a moment ago.
"What are you talking about? I'm just trying to go home."
His doppelganger was now featureless, his face melting away into the blankness Miles still couldn't describe. The panic on your face is visible from yards away. Miles just has to catch him off-guard. Without hurting you. He could do that.
"So you are the Chameleon," you muttered, still trying to pry his hands away as his grip wrinkled your clothes further.
"Ah, so you did figure it out. Excellent." That definitely didn't sound like him anymore. "You were always the most interesting in that class of yours."
"You... You were the one who was at those after-school classes, huh? And at Oscorp. And that... fair." That you were right about. "What the hell is your problem?"
"My problem is that I need a little something from your school, and you seem like the easiest solution."
"Couldn't you do that while you were a teacher? You got that other guy to be arrested in your place. Aren't you done?"
"It looks like you have me all figured out. Except for one small thing."
"What?"
Something glistened by your neck. Sharp. Metal. He had a knife pressed to your throat, the blade just managing to dent your skin.
"You're going to die."
Missing. Sometimes they turned up. Other times they were probably dead. If he didn't figure this out, you were dead already.
"I'm... I kind of figured that too, you know."
"Oh, really? Aren't you something?" There was something like a grin on his face, but it was too misshapen to really tell. "So unaffected. So controlled."
"How do you even... turn into these people? What the hell is wrong with you?"
"Take a guess. An educated guess is always better than nothing." His voice pitched up into Wellston's awkward sing-song, repeating what he used to say in class. Near-perfectly.
"Why are you so sure you won't get caught?"
"That's not an answer, and I can't exactly reveal such things, you know."
"Not even when you're about to kill me?"
"Oh, unfortunately not."
"Go f*ck yourself." That made the man laugh. If he wasn't in this situation right now, Miles might have managed a smile at that.
"Yeah, go f*ck yourself," he muttered, voice being caught half-way into his modulator in a grainy, deep sound.
In an instant, Miles soared above the two of you, foot smashing itself right in the centre of the Chameleon's face, his knife clattering to the floor. As he stumbled back, you got up, taking the opportunity to run, footsteps hard against the pavement.
Suddenly, the Chameleon was stuck between the wall and Miles' knee, steadying himself with his hands against the brick. Miles could make out some kind of morphed look of glee on his face as his clawed hand clamped him to the wall by both sides of his neck. The lips and teeth were starting to form through the flesh, and Miles let the energy build up in the converter as the smile fell into place, cell by cell.
"You don't want to kill me," he stated, simply.
"Pretty sure I do." Miles' claws just scraped at the skin starting to form at his neck. The quiet whirr of his gauntlet starts to become audible.
"You can't kill me. I am everywhere."
If everywhere is right in front of me, I mean...
"I know what you're doing, Dmitri. It ends here."
"I know what you're doing, Prowler."
He finally sees it, what's forming on the man's face. It's him.
"One of my best students, I never would have guessed," he started, grinning wildly, with some sort of overwhemled excitement.
Miles felt his mouth go dry, his face under the mask paralysed as the one staring at him continued to smile.
"The DNA that I retrieved from you is that of... Miles Gonzalo Morales."
It was as if the shockwave forming in his gauntlet slowed with time itself as he came to stare. He was looking at himself. Smiling. Grinning. Crazed. Miles Gonzalo Morales.
"Kill me. I have my assets, and subordinates. They will end you. Your mother, Rio. The hospital she works at. Your uncle, Aaron."
The quiet whirr in his gauntlet faded into silence. He felt his hand retreat, leaving the Chameleon, still posing as Miles, grinning, unblinking, and flat against the wall.
"Oh, you've made a very good choi―"
SLAM!
Metal met with bone, an audible crack following as Miles' clawed fist met the wall, the Chameleon's face smashed between the two.
"You mother... f*cker..." he breathed out, voice choked through the sudden rush of blood, smearing against the wall as he lifted his face from it.
Miles pointed his gauntlet at him again, the whirring renewing itself to a high-pitched scream, light purple expanding between them and tearing through the alleyway like fire.
"Muerto el pollo." (Job done.)
The man's reforming grin was overtaken by the brightness of the blast, energy snapping into one focused point before hurtling through the air, right at the Chameleon.
Miles felt his ears start to ring. His body was lightweight. Airborne.
His back hit something hard, and suddenly the lightness was replaced with an erratic clawing spreading up his arm. The light flickered into sparks that led fire under his sleeve, eating away at his skin. Burning. The blindness faded away, eyes managing to focus. All he could see past the smoke was a figure approaching him, and a hysteric laugh that grew louder and instantaneously changed pitch.
"So confident," is what he could make out through the ringing in his ears that had bled through his head into a sharp, disorienting pain. "I almost thought you had me."
Ripping the burning gauntlet off of himself, he noticed something jammed in the converter as he shook the heat from his arm. Some sort of sabotaging device. He'd had just a few seconds before the burning would've made it past his skin. The Chameleon had planned this.
Looking to his other gauntlet, he noticed the same device, ripping it out before crushing it under his foot. Never twice.
Swallowing back the cough building up in the back of his throat, Miles made a move for the Chameleon, before catching his figure turn left ― running.
Coño. (F*ck.)
Launching himself up, Miles locked onto the man, hurtling through a series of alleyways, fluidly dodging every obstacle in his way as if to waste no time. He could not let him get into a crowd and disappear. This had to end here, even if he had no god damn plan and his uncle was sure to scold him when he got back. He wasn't going to let you or anyone else get killed by this crazy f*ck.
Miles threw himself down into the next alleyway, hearing heavy, fast footsteps, someone approaching in his vision.
Just a little closer.
SLAM!
He threw the Chameleon down onto the ground, noticing he'd already changed appearance.
That face. No, this wasn't the Chameleon.
It was... you. And you were looking right at him. Terrified.
"Please, please let me go," you mumbled, gasping for air in-between words... "I... You're the... Prowler, I― Please― The... That guy's after me and..."
Your head fell against the concrete, an exhausted look in your eyes as you caught your breath.
"Please. I didn't... I didn't do anything. I can keep quiet about you, I haven't told the police anything. About Oscorp. Nothing."
"I know it's you, Chameleon." You would've ran far away by now, he was sure.
"I―I swear I'm not. I'm not him, I don't know how to prove it to you, but... I called my friend for help and... he never came. Please. Please let me go. I don't know where the Chameleon is right now."
Another set of footsteps came towards the both of you.
"I'm right here, Prowler," emerged another voice from the alley.
It was... you?
"Come on. Weren't you looking for me?" the other you continued, half-hidden in shadow. "Come get me."
So the you on the floor... was actually you. And this...
"Please, that's... that's him, you've gotta let me go," the you that was on the ground muttered, exasperated. There was a waver in your voice. In the way your eyes widened looking at him. Almost like confusion.
The Chameleon was right there. Admitting that he was in fact the Chameleon. While he was trying to run away.
"Please," he heard below him, a quiet, desperate whisper in the silence.
You both looked identical. Even though he'd injured the Chameleon, the both of you were unscratched. You both sounded the same too, from what he could decipher. No real way to tell you apart. And his only answer right now felt like a trick.
He kept eyes on the you standing before him, barely making out a face. Something was there, in the way that you looked, the way you stood. Something strange, something he couldn't figure out fast enough to make any decision.
And then, he felt a little pinch. One that suddenly exploded and tore through his flesh, wrangling with every one of his nerves as his body seized. You had lost your scared, desperate expression, your face now distorting along with his vision into that of a smile.
"I understand," a voice started, ringing through his head as if it was everywhere. "You want to help me."
The pain was clawing its way through his body from a point in his leg. He turned his head, noticing the discarded needle beside him. He'd managed to ease his hand just close enough to administer it. You ― no, the Chameleon, lifted himself from the ground, before Miles felt his head spin hard with a kick.
"I admire you, your wit," he called out, letting out a laugh as he started to walk towards you. "Turning against your own savior. Wonderful. Absolutely wonderful."
No, no... There was... there was no way you were working with him. There was no way you...
"You have proven yourself. You'll be better than... than that Garrett fool. I've changed my mind."
Miles rummaged in his utility belt for something, anything. He had no idea what he'd been given, but it was already running through his blood, reaching his brain and poisoning every part of it.
"Your friend over there is going to be unconscious in about half a minute. Why don't you take care of him? I'll be a fool to kill you once you do."
Get up, Miles.
His head throbbed with the sound of your footsteps, each one getting louder and louder. His limbs were weakening. He could barely lift his head.
Get up!
"Dad... Dad? No no no... Get up, get up!"
The gauntlet was slowly slid off of him, now in your hands as his arm fell uselessly onto the ground in front of him.
The gauntlet clipped onto your arm, fingers moving as yours did. He felt the metal claws just scrape his helmet, a faint clink echoing through his skull.
Miles didn't want to look at your face, but he couldn't find it in him to look anywhere else. There was that something from before in your expression that he couldn't quite place, and he still didn't have an answer. It bothered him, for some damn reason. Not the fact that he had his own weapon pointed to his brain as he was losing consciousness. Not the fact that he couldn't move. Not the fact that his last thoughts were about the look on your face and not his mom, or his dad.
Whirrr...
That brightness that the Chameleon had been staring at before was now staring right at him. Overwhelming, blinding, all-encompassing. He felt the faint heat on his skin, as his eyelids grew heavy. Something like warmth in contrast to the cold metal, if just for a second. Something like knowing in your eyes. Something hopeful, saving, loving. Even if just for a second. Even if his brain had made it up to let him succumb.
He wished he could smile, and not be terrified. He wished he could be like his dad, who had smiled.
"Take care of your mom for me, Miles. I ain't gonna be around forever."
And he reached for his helmet. To show you his face, to hope you'd stop once you saw him. He reached, before his arm fell limp beside him once more.
Sorry. I'm so sorry.
"Hey, hello?"
"Hey!"
"Prowler? ...Are you dead?"
God, what did you have to do if he didn't respond...? Breathing, pulse...
"What the..." you heard, before he exploded into a painful-sounding coughing fit, tinged by some kind of voice changer. The Prowler lifted his head, and you could make out az kind of shadow where his eyes were behind the dull, unlit screen. "Huh...?"
"Hey, uh. The... Chameleon..."
Gesturing to the pile on the floor, the Prowler seemed to tense a little at the sight. It was the Chameleon, or... what was left of him. His face charred and caved in by the likes of a certain purple energetic blast. Right, you, had to explain that, the de-powered weapon in your hands.
"Sorry for... I didn't know what I was doing, that was―"
"You killed him?" came out a quiet, modulated voice.
That was...
You killed him. With the Prowler's weapon.
You were defending yourself. You were defending him. That man was a...
Thunk!
The metallic arm hit the ground as it rolled out of your arms, looking into the hollow shadows of the Prowler's eyes.
You didn't know anything about any of these people, and you were deep into their world. It was one that you had never thought you'd see, and now you had nothing to dig yourself out of it. You decided to trick him and when Miles was too late to figure it out you had...
You had killed someone. Turned the blast on him within a split second, watching it sear through his skull in a merciless flurry, stab after stab of burning hot energy wracking more and more screams. Right until the weapon had run out of energy. Until your finger grew numb from the trigger inside the device and the alleyway had gone silent. The man that had haunted your mind for months was unmoving before you, ripped of all features, all life.
Murder. Manslaughter. This man had connections. They'd come after you. After everyone you knew and loved. After Miles.
You should've stayed home.
The ache of adrenaline surged through your heart, your muscles, begging. Begging you to move. To run. To get up.
Get up. Run. Run away. Scream for help. Do something.
You felt the scratch of brick, arms enveloping the rest of you as you backed into the wall.
Hide.
All the breath in your lungs seemed to leave at once as you desperately tried to breathe it back in, hearing the air rush in and out of your mouth over and over. It was loud. So loud. The blast had been so loud. He had screamed so loud―
"Hey."
The hand on your shoulder was warm, free of any metal.
"It's... alright," you heard him say.
How could he say that?
"How can you say that?" Your voice was muffled. Wavering. Pathetic.
Would they believe you? With that stupid, pathetic, voice, whoever it was that found you ― would they believe you?
"How can you say that...?" you repeated, pressing your face further into your knees. The touch on your tensed shoulder felt offensive. Mocking.
"You're gonna be okay."
"How am I gonna be okay?"
"You didn't do anything wrong."
"How do you know that?"
You were looking at him now, breath hitched, eyes wide. You tried to sound frustrated, angry, but all that came out of your throat was a sound that told the Prowler "I am scared" in every language.
The Prowler hadn't killed you. He was comforting you. In any other circumstance, you could've laughed at the thought. To your knowledge, this Prowler hadn't killed anyone, or put everyone he loved in severe danger. Maybe you were worse than him.
"Why won't you answer any of my questions...?" you mumbled hopelessly, burying your face in your hands. You could smell concrete, dust, and ash ― invisible, yet incriminating.
Hiss... Click!
You felt hands wrap around your wrists, carefully pulling yours away from your own face. Just as you looked up, you could see the mask dismantling itself, disappearing behind his head.
What was left was a face. The Prowler's face.
No, this is...
Brown, maybe green-ish eyes. They were a smooth coppery colour under the dim light, bright among the shadows underneath his eyes. A black-red was drying on his skin, under his nose and creeping past his cracked lips. Two braids, coming unfurled at the ends, coming all the way back up to the top of his head. A soft face with harshness painted all over it. An exhausted, pained and worried expression.
"Hey, pana."
The face you had so prayed to see blurred into a watery mess as you threw your arms around him, squeezing your eyes shut against his jacket. His arms followed, settling over yours, one palm circling your back and the other settled between your shoulders.
You didn't think you'd held anyone tighter. You didn't know someone could hold to the point that their arms were shaking around you.
"Miles..."
You felt his head rest beside yours, the contours of his face melding against your shoulder. Warmth was running down your face ― blooming in your chest.
"I've got you."
"Mij— Oh... Oh my!"
You'd scrubbed your eyes hard as you could, and Miles had fixed himself up into a giant hoodie and jeans, but you were almost certain that the woman in front of you was utterly convinced that the both of you had been run over by a subway train. Miles' mom, standing with a vacuum cleaner that contributed nothing to the silence. Her jaw was inching closer to the floor the longer the silence stretched out.
"Uh... hola, mami. This is my friend," Miles offered, not sounding any less like he'd been met face first with the headlights of New York public transportation.
"Hi, Mrs... Morales."
The woman propped the vacuum cleaner against the wall, letting out a quiet sigh. She had beautiful curly hair, and was now wearing the sharp-softness of her son's face in a polite, and concerned smile. You didn't want to turn to check if Miles still had blood on his face.
"Is this a bad time...?" you started. "I can—"
"Oh, no, no, I just... I haven't even made dinner yet, I didn't expect—" The woman lets out another breath, shaking her head. "I'm sorry, I shouldn't be so rude. What are you two... What have you been up to?"
"We just... you know," Miles gestured with his hands, charading less than nothing in the air.
"You know...?" she replied, eyes squinting.
"I uh, already ate. Don't worry about it, Mrs. Morales," you continued, giving her what you hoped looked like a smile on your face. "Miles just wanted to show me something. It'll be quick."
"Uh, yeah. That."
"You're not staying for dinner?" she called out, as Miles dragged you into his room. "I was gonna make pastelón—"
"I'll come help you in a sec, mami."
Miles closed the door to his room, and the two of you shared a look as you heard the long, muffled sigh from outside. With the sound of the vacuum cleaner whirring in the hallway and disappearing into another room, the two of you sat on the edge of the twin-size bed, the frame creaking uncomfortably.
The room wasn't particularly big, crowded with posters and various newspaper clippings — many about the Prowler. There were crates tucked away beside his closet, faces of toy figurines and comic books peeking out of them. A lone screwdriver sat on his desk, a stack of notebooks beside it. The backpack you'd seen him take to school was hanging on the back of his chair, a study guide for "Invisible Man" peeking out of it. All that was on his bedside table other than papers was a frame. A young boy, missing a tooth, on the shoulders of an older man, the two of them beaming through the picture.
"You hurt or anything?" he asked quietly, making you remember that he was next to you. "Like, injured?"
"No, I'm... fine." You took half of a breath before your lungs started to ache, swallowing back the dryness of your throat. Mostly fine. "Are you okay?"
"Yeah. My mom's a nurse, so... I kinda..."
"Oh... Yeah, yeah." Huh.
Mrs. Morales certainly didn't seem to know about her son's... part-time job.
You noticed a set of blueprints on the wall, resembling the clawed arms he had stashed away without you or his mom seeing.
"You made those...? The claw-glove things?"
"They're gauntlets."
It was somewhat like the tone of voice he used when he was explaining a calculus question — not condescending, but somewhat tired and fed-up.
"Right..." Gauntlets. Sure.
The vacuuming stopped, and a few moments later the clinking of cookware could be heard.
"You staying for dinner?"
"Huh...? Um, I don't wanna bother your mom."
"Please...? I'm gonna get it if you go home without eating." Something about that made you laugh, even if it was a half-hearted sound that fizzled out before it could really sound like one.
"She seems nice," you mused.
"She is. She tries."
Something of a smile tugged at his lips as a quick snort of air left him, his eyes now on yours.
"I got a lot of explaining to do, huh?" His smile faded a little as the words left his mouth.
"You do. Maybe... Maybe not now, though."
"Yeah. Not now."
In your peripheral, you could make out his arm inching closer to yours. The tips of his fingers just brushed your knuckles, leaving just a spark of feeling against your skin. His throat bobbed a little as he swallowed, and—
"Miles, ¡ven a cortame estas cebollas! (Come and cut these onions for me!)"
"Oh! Um— Okay!"
The bed squeaked again as he stood up, and you could tell he was biting the inside of his cheek. You closed your hand as the lingering feeling of his touch disappeared.
"...You sure I can stay for dinner?"
"You sure you just asked me that?"
"Alright, alright."
You gave him a little more of a smile, and you could see him fighting to not return it as he looked back at you.
"i'm gonna... go and—"
"Yeah, you do that, Miles."
He handed you his phone, or, a phone.
"You can... play some music, if you want. It's connected to that speaker. Just not too loud, yeah?"
You noticed there was no SIM card in it. He pointed to the little speaker sitting by the window sill, peeking out behind a hung up jacket and a school blazer.
"...Thanks."
The door to his room shut, and the murmured voices of Miles and his mom faded as you selected a song. You recognised some of them, ones you'd heard people sing along to on the street or in the cafeteria of your school. This one stood out, though.
It started slow, and the man's voice was rich, full of life and emotion. It was strangely melancholic against the uplifting instrumentals.
"~Ain't no love, in the heart of the city..."
You stood up, walking to the window to get a better listen of it. Lifting up the blinds, your eyes caught something in the darkness. A giant painting of Jefferson Morales. Miles' dad. It was half-finished, but his smile was there.
You couldn't help but think how he looked so much like Miles.
"~Ain't no love, cause you ain't around..."
An almost inaudible rustle caught your attention as you tuned to look at the jacket you had touched. Something had fallen out of its pocket while you were trying to move the speaker. It was a piece of paper, something written on it.
Reaching down, you moved to put it back in the pocket, before noticing what was peeking out of it.
Unfolding just the edge of it, you recognised the title of a Spanish lesson you had a while ago, back when Rafael had been bothering you endlessly. Opening it up entirely, you found what he'd been making fun of Miles for.
There were a series of drawings around scrawled Spanish vocabulary and messy grammar rules. One was of your teacher, Mrs. Hernández, turned away, writing on the board. The other was of the picture of the landmark in the article you had been given, "Arco de"-something. The colour of the building was done in yellow highlighter, but looked rather technical and accurate nonetheless.
The one on the back made you almost drop the paper.
It was you, with such a likeness. Some lines had been erased and re-drawn around your mouth, as if he'd been trying to decide on an expression. Within the creases of the paper you were holding right now, though, you found yourself smiling — just slightly, like if you'd been laughing at something with the rest of your class. Your head was tilted slightly downwards. The drawing version of you was just a little cuter than you were sure you looked like, Miles' stylisation making your eyes shine a little and your lips curve just the right way.
By the time your stomach had stopped fluttering, the song was coming to a close. You quickly re-crumpled the paper and carefully put it back into the jacket, walking over to sit on his bed again.
"~Ain't no love, in the heart of this town..."
"...You never come back this late, mijo..."
"...We just bumped into each other and started talking. You know, like how at the store..."
"...Your tías are different, Miles..."
He really does have a lot to explain, you thought to yourself, unable to stop the corners of your mouth from lifting up, just slightly.
Your questions would just have to wait until after dinner.
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thank you for reading! epilogue hopefully coming soon 👍 reblogs + replies are appreciated 💗 find the rest of my writing in my atsv masterlist here!
#42!miles x reader#42!miles morales x reader#atsv fanfiction#earth 42 miles x reader#prowler miles x reader#miles g morales#miles g#42!miles#miles gonzalo morales#prowler miles#atsv x you#atsv#across the spiderverse#atsv x reader#vhstown
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Okay so! I saw a post earlier where OP was saying they couldn’t enjoy bnha because the hero students didn’t “meddle when they didn’t need to” in early canon when Bakugou was bullying Midoriya at UA, even though that’s what heroes are supposed to do. I’m making my own post so I don’t bother them, but I gotta say, I found it genuinely intriguing. Like I love bnha, but I think they were on to something, so I kept considering it.
And also, after my liveblog the other day, I was surprised that I hadn’t realized Iida and Uraraka definitely recognized Bakugou’s bullying on my first watch. And one of my friends messaged me to say that it made sense I hadn’t noticed, since those two didn’t do much about it. So then I started thinking about this same thing more.
Anyway I think I finally figured it out. The standard of hero society that the previous generation was working under was that civilians were the only category of people that needed saving. Midoriya, a hero student with a powerful quirk, doesn’t fit into that category.
And even though Uraraka and Iida eventually go beyond this mindset, the person who taught them to do that was Midoriya. At the beginning of the story, they aren’t saving radically because they haven’t learned that from him yet.
Think about the timeline—Iida isn’t meddling with Bakugou’s bullying in Deku vs Kacchan #1 because he won’t even hear the “the essence of being a hero is meddling when you don’t need to” line until the end of the next season, when he goes after Stain. He’s only convinced to try and rescue Bakugou because he wants to keep his friends Midoriya and Todoroki out of trouble, not because he feels personally responsible to save Bakugou. Uraraka doesn’t even go on the Bakugou rescue mission. She starts wondering who saves heroes when they’re in trouble of her own volition, but this thought doesn’t occur to her until season five, after her experience in her internship.
And they do eventually get it! By season six, when Midoriya runs off and starts running himself into the ground, Uraraka and Iida show up to save him! But the thing is, all that time that they were changing, Bakugou was changing too. By the time they internalized Midoriya’s approach to saving enough to put it into practice, Bakugou wasn’t the one he needed saving from anymore.
But anyway, I’m now facinated by this evidence of character growth that I hadn’t noticed before.
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I think I might have a crush on one of the guys in my class. We've only talked a few times. But like he's really smart and soft spoken.
#he's also an international student like me#but we run in different friend groups#I really want to find a way for us to be friends#he seems so cool#okay no I seriously have a crush on this guy#why must I be so socially awkward
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actually what i think would be cool is an ace attorney game where each case is its own individual mini-spinoff. first case is kristoph gavin: ace attorney a few years pre-aa4 with apollo as kristoph’s college intern and clay as the defendant. we get to learn more about clay and apollo’s friendship alongside apollo+kristoph and krisnix dynamic. we’re forced to forge evidence because there isnt anything concrete proving clay’s innocence, giving us an inside glimpse into a corrupt attorney’s life. second case is simon blackquill investigations pre-UR1 where on someone else dies at the space center and metis is accused. we see more of athena/simon/aura/metis family dynamic as well as athena and juniper’s friendship as children. manfred von karma investigations (kid miles and vk family dynamic) or lana skye investigations (pre-SL9 ema mia gant jake angel neil) or mia fey ace attorney (maya lana pearl morgan diego maybe even dahlia and iris) or robin newman ace attorney/hugh o’conner investigations (self-indulgent but would be so cute)….the possibilities are endless……just fun little ways to expand on pre-existing character dynamics that might not have been discussed too much without necessarily making an entire game revolving around those characters
#i dont say fran investigations or athena ace attorney bc those could more easily be their own games#anyways more thoughts. mia ace attorney could be a murder at kurai’n village#shes college student interning at rossberg’s so she investigates with diego while getting to hang out with her family#not sure who prosecutor could be but lana as their co-counsel#getting to see how she interacts with morgan and pearl#kristoph aa speaks for itself i need it soooooo bad#i need clay real. and also more krisnix content#ALSO SELFINDULGENT BUT IF AT THE END OF MIA AA SHE ASKS DIEGO OUT ON A DATE. HELPME😭😭😭😭😭#hes like a little more nervous than usual and shes like Hmm….it seems like Mr. Armando wants to ask me something….#AND THEN LETS SAY THERE WERE FLOWERS UNDER WVIDENCE OR SOEMTHING. U CAN PRESENT THEM AND ASK HIM OUT#OHMYGODDDDDDDDD😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭#also selfindulgent sorry but id kill for miego interaction#ok im done now sorry#ace attorney#gyakuten saiban#myne
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#guys (neutral) i have made a mistake#theres a guy in my classes whos also pakistani (but like FROM pakistan) and from generally the same areas as my family i guess#and we're the only two in the class (for context the other desis who make up the majority of the class are all indian international student#and i know that im a friendly person#but i fear that i made a connection with this guy too quick#and have given him the wrong idea#idk if hes just attached to me bc im the only other pakistani or that AND bc ive accidentally led him on or smthg without even realising#like he will hover near me and will only leave when i leave (and its gotten so bad over like 3 days that my other classmate noticed ->#and was like ... girl yk hes attached himself to u right#asdhjkasldadhajkldadhajsd#anyways thats besides the point#hes rly nice so i feel bad asdkjlasd;adjkl;adadjksd (and he doesnt rly have any friends here besides family and classmates so im giving ->#him the benefit of the doubt#and yall today was the only day i left class and he wasnt right beside me bc i think he left to do smthg#and i went to help anther girl get to her car#and i guess because he couldnt say bye to me (esp since its the weekend now) he started DMing me on instagram#there are more details but i will spare yall for now bc the ig messagse are whats makign me more worried <3333#anyways gn#mehrtalks
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at least now whenever i feel stupid i can remember a grown german man asking me if poland is in the eu or not 😭😭😭
#i went to talk to my course coordinator today. he was in fact super helpful but he also did in fact ask me that#like im not saying its something everyone should know but likeee#1) hes german were literally talking abt the neighboring country#2) his actual literal job centers around dealing with international students. what do you mean YOU DONT KNOW IF POLANDS IN THE EU#LIKE WHERE DO YOU LIVEEEEEEEE#thots
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#I also keep seeing modern au aubrey-maturin art#that makes me wish I could draw and thereby contribute#unfortunately I can't even *write* modern aus generally. but I like transferring character dynamics from place to place in my brain#and I feel like I could do a university AU very nicely if I could do AUs at all#because I have had rowers in my class with as far as I could tell jack's exact personality#(unfortunately it has to be a US university AU because (a) that's what I know and (b) afaik nobody else does randomly assigned roommates)#(and I cannot pass up the opportunity for randomly assigned roommates.#OR RATHER#for 'you seem more or less human - quick let's request each other so we don't have to go into potluck'#I think that works best)#(but maybe they are both international students anyway. that works fine. & therefore extremely alarmed by potluck [can't say they're wrong]#sophie is a sorority girl. english major I think. and I can see her so clearly#(she's the part I want to draw)#she's not that into the high-octane social schedule her sorority expects her to have#but her pushy mother was a member and it is Unthinkable that sophie should not be#and a lot of the other girls are sweet :) so it's fine :) she says#feel like she has roommate issues (unlike her original self she is able to live away from mrs williams so this makes up for that)#so she's always over in jack and stephen's room. people who know her tangentially sometimes gossip about which one she's actually dating#(at that particular moment it is actually neither of them she's just hanging out with stephen)#diana freed from the shackles of 19th century womanhood creates even more and weirder drama than in canon#idk I just want to see the plot of post captain played out over text message#don't ask me HOW idk HOW i just want it#stephen is a biology major/pre-med obvs. if he can survive organic chemistry#jack is some kind of engineering major. I think he'd enjoy that with the math. diana has changed her major 7 times#(I don't know whether to put jack in rotc. I don't think it Actually actually fits - he's in the navy in canon because he's in the navy#not bc he's Inevitably Military In All Worlds. he would not want to do that if he didn't get to sail#but at the same time I find it hard to picture him not belonging to Discipline somehow.#it's more than a disinterested passion for cleanliness that drives him to wash stephen's mug for him that has had coffee and ramen in it#(and NOT in that order)#in the bathroom sink
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I’m always so fascinated by people’s bad roommate stories. I’m not sure I’ll ever live with someone I haven’t vetted extensively beforehand ever again
#every living situation where i’ve been assigned roommates randomly; i always seem to get one person who is an absolute angel#and 1-2 people who are honestly fucked up#i lived in halls 1 year of undergrad and everyone was kind of equally insane. honestly no one stood out as particularly bad#because everyone was just constantly screaming. i dealt with it by going home most weekends and getting noise cancelling headphones#3rd year of undergrad i lived in a suite which.. honestly was basically an apartment. had a living room/kitchenette; a toilet; a shower room#and 4 bedrooms#one of my roommates i’m still friends with to this day but honestly they were and are kind of a ridiculous person#like they were actively dealing drugs most of the year and their boyfriend was around most of the time and they would bone LOUDLY#and that’s the good roommate. so you can imagine the other two#one of the others.. honestly wasn’t a bad roommate; she was helpful and clean and civil#she was loud as hell though. she used to have attacks of insomnia and decide to rearrange her furniture at 3 in the morning#and we shared a wall. she also had an illegal pet rabbit.#our personalities just didn’t mesh well; like it became clear pretty fast that we were going to spend as little time together as possible#third roommate was loud; rude; annoying and gross. she’d be calling people at 7am just to yell down the phone to them about her problems#i was like who is picking up the phone to this bitch. she also picked up on my homosexual vibes in that way that homophobic straight girls#always seem to have; and was convinced i had a crush on her. and she bought a betta fish (allowed according to dorm rules) and then it died#because she didn’t want to take care of it properly. and she refused to do anything for herself#like she was always breaking shit and leaving it because she didn’t want to email or call maintenance. so then i’d have to do it#because it was always something we specifically shared. like a set of shelves she put a fucking 5lb shampoo bottle on. twice.#in grad school it was almost the same thing. one angel roommate who was kind of messy but otherwise fantastic#she rolled the best joints i have ever seen. and i still miss her cat cali#it was the men that were the problem. one was an international student who left after a month and bothered nobody#like to the point i didn’t notice when he moved out because he was so innocuous#the other two though….. so one of them started hooking up with my favourite roommate and immediately became SUPER annoying#the other one stole shit; left lights on all the time; left fridge and cupboard and freezer doors open; tried to guilt trip me#into giving him my weed; played mariah carey at 2am; never bought a single cleaning product or household item for the collective#unless you told him to…… he was even using my toothpaste at one point. like. sir.#oh and he was always dirtying other people’s dishes and cookware and leaving them in the sink for days. and leaving big chunks of food#in the sink. it was fucking gross#personal
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Hellooo mun!!! If you met your muse (or muses, if you wanna do both or just the birb) how do you think that interaction would go like?
((omg hello!! gosh ahsjdk tbh i never really thought about it because i don't even like the idea of any of the actual canon characters interacting with me personally [see: @dolasach's reason for existence + this blog honestly just being made so that i could have a reason to interact with the rp blogs without having to bring out my oc] but this did get me thinking >v<
for the crow:
crows are honestly extremely rare where i live, at most i see them as small black figures in the sky when they're flying off. so if i got the meet the crow irl i think i'd be genuinely thrilled?
as in. i would go through the motions of trying to befriend the thing and also play the part of a fool that tries to feed a mechanical bird ;-; i'd hope that it'd be like what's going on with yvonne, but i'm not talkative enough with animals to get any sort of emotional investment out of anyone at onychinus hq for what drama might be going on in my life. so like. i'd just be a running joke to the engineers for being a reason why the bird keeps coming back with a chassis full of food lol
for dolasach:
okay so like. i so CLEARLY imagine myself to meet her because of some art event where she's a guest, like a lecture or workshop or gallery exhibit opening. she'd have such a particular vibe to her, i feel? that would make it shockingly easy for me to actually reach out and ask questions about her craft (if it were a gallery opening) or ask some really thorough questions + start a bit of banter (if its a workshop) even if her gaze would be so intense i might die on the spot <-aroace but not immune to cool hot people.
i think it would go fairly well, i don't think i've ever left bad impressions on more important people i've interacted with and half the time end up befriending them + i want to believe i'd get a genuine laugh from her 😭 that's all i want oml))
#((the intern speaks))#((this made me think of this one professor i had in uni who in hindsight had PEAK dola vibes. insanely put together and polished as a perso#and with that kind of strict intimidating vibe at first? but is actually surprisingly warm and silly lol and now i also think i'd fight#tooth and nail to be in her class. tho at the same time she'd teach something so niche that there would be JUST enough students for the#class to not be dissolved sdhfjksdf))#((and with the crow i think id be considerably more nervous bc i'm another dumbass that thinks its a real bird so i dont wanna fuck up#and have an entire murder remember me as evil forever and gang up on me as punishment for hurting the feelings of one of their brethren))#((bonus: if i ever meet sylus... he has to be the one to speak to me first or else nothing is going to happen sdfhjksfjhsdf#and if he does... either i think he's a creep and try to get away OR we somehow become besties after i introduce him to the joys of#halo-halo and kwek-kwek LMAO he'd have to be on vacation in the philippines somewhere and for some reason#i get random people asking me questions??? and sometimes asking for my twitter to add me shfjksddfjhs))#((anyway omg thank u for the ask >.< took a while + now im medicated so im yapping away like crazy but this was fun thinking!!))
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...i'm starting to wonder if i wasn't actually pretty often failed by the adults in my life as a young kid tbh.
#i'm always doubtful where to put the blame#in a morally neutral causality kind of way to be clear#because like. i dont know. if i was the adult. confronted to the opaque behavior of a child. would i have done better?#but also i can't help but think#why the fuck did they make me skip a grade (last grade of primary on top of that) when i was notorious for never doing my homework#and was incredibly inconsistent across topics#like i sucked at math. like ''needs to count on fingers to do a simple addition or substraction'' sucking at math.#like i never learned any multiplication tables sucking at math#like i never got how to pose divisions and still can't at age 18 because logicomathematics are completely counterintuitive to me#and just. the work was never done to make me Get It. my work or teachers' work who knows. but perhaps skipping a grade wasnt the solution#or like#apparently when i was three years old the pediatrician suspected smth was up with me#either autism directly or ''generally suspicious child'' we're not clear on that#but he told my parents. and everybody said ''we better test that'' and then. nothing. idk.#they filled a parental report of behaviors questionnaire for... adhd i think? autism maybe. and that's it. never fucking heard about it.#god. i just remembered my mom saying proudly they almost never put me in the nursery as a kid.#always either with a parent or family or a nanny.#and perhaps mother. you could have foreseen that a kid with no siblings no pets no kid neighbors no playdates. would end up socially fucked#i remember the teachers scolding late students and showing us that we were supposed to be in bed by 9:30 or something#and internally i was like BUDDY AT 9PM WE'RE HALFWAY THROUGH DINNER#MOM'S BEEN HOME FOR LESS THAN AN HOUR#and shit. i don't know. i was scared of the dark as a child. to the point that even with the compromise#of keeping the door ajar and lights in the hallway (which i had to fucking advocate for btw)#i still slept curled up in the bathroom on a towel sometimes when it got too scary#and i would cry and scream before going to bed. i would beg my mom for sleeping pills from a young age.#i would often find myself in the morning sleeping with my face smushed between the pages of the book i literally fell asleep on#because i read until my eyes gave out#and a couple years later when i got a 3ds i'd play at night and if my dad caught me he'd storm into my room and i'd hide under the comforte#and he'd punch a couple times and whisper-yell at me not to do that and go to sleep#it took until i was about 15yo for me to see a sleep specialist
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I just learned there's a German-Korean (ex) kpop star with the most stereotypical German name. I love that for him.
#We don't have a lot of German musicians with international fame and most have weird names#He sounds like just some guy#I don't listen to kpop but I decided he's my favourite if anyone asks me#He's also straight up a high school student#Imagine the new guy in your school just moved back from South Korea and he maybe mentions he was in a band#And then it turns out he was like famous???
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VICTORY FOR THE ME COMMUNITY
#i’m officially going to be working on this study at my university. i’ll be doing fecal floats and pcrs and potential necropsies and stuff#i’m so excited#and then i’m going to be able to intern at the necropsy diagnostic service as well#they’re just a little hectic rn so i can’t start over there at the moment#i’m so so excited#my professor said he’s had student workers who’ve been wheelchair users and the labs have been pretty accessible for that. the main thing i#that i need to be able to have my hands free#but holy shit. im just. !!!!!!!!!!!!!#caps tw#it’s also like. not gonna name the place i’m gonna be working bc the location could be googled but. the name of the place on my resume coul#do wonders like even if they don’t pay me that experience is gonna be fantastic#my post
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breaking- local polytheist transmasc Classics Major wishes to change name to Hippolytus
#dont come for me I just love him ok#and artemis#and aphrodite#having an athenian father and amazon mother is also awesome#and he! is! aroace AAAAAAA#one of the few male hunters associated strongly w Artemis!!#I am just dying imagining the reaction of my classmates in the major#like#hi my name is Hippolytus / yes I am trans yes I am a nerd what UP#literally the coolest sexiest person in the entire department#the funny is helped by how i am obviously asian and an international student#trans#transmasc#names#Hippolytus
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ok so i got a dorm w the uni & the flat is literally 3 chinese, a mexican, & me & honestly ? living for it
#stream#like thank GOD i’ve a MEXICAN#WHERE ARE U BESTIEEEEEEE#UR HIDINGGGGGGGGGG#this is literally a ‘quiet flat’#1 of the chinese i met filled me in bc i was just forcing him to answer my questions like guess what ur the chump that gets to deal w my#questioning bc ur the only 1 OUTSIDE UR ROOM#i literally thought it was empty except for me & him bc the fucking kitchen is EMPTY in comparison to when i was in swansea 😭😭😭#but also we’re all international so i’m just thinking like ‘ok so nobody has bought shit like we collectively have a single plate each’ ALSK#ALSKALKALSKLSKALKSLAKS#LIKE THERES A PAN & A RICE MAKER & THATS THE ENTIRE KITCHEN ITS SO FUCKING FUNNY 😭😭😭😭#ALKSALSKALSJAKSKALSN COMPELTE 180 OF WHAT I HAD IN SWANSEA#SO GLAD IM NOT DEALING W THE BRITISH#they’ve been pissing me off i’m like ‘omg tell me abt Hunan :)’ ALSKALSKALSKLAKS LIKE LETS GET SOMETHIFN DIFFERENT GOING#like omg he’s soooo nice but also bc i’m forcing him to be sociable#ALSKALSKALKSLAKSLAKSLA 😭😭😭#there’s this girl from hong kong also in my program & she lives literally in the building across from me#QUEEN !!!#also i’m a student rep ALSKLAKSALKSALKSALAKLA#like yaaasss i’m here for u INTERNATIONALS !!!!!! I WILL YELL AT THE UNI FOR US#TELL ME UR PROBELMS THE AMERICAN WILL DEAL W IT#i’m sooo happy i’ll be honest#i’m not even happy happy is pushing it i think ‘content’ is more suitable#but also i’ve had like#2 beers so far
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vote now on your phones:
#from the writer's den#void talks#this is a very stupid and convoluted internal debate I'm having#keep in mind my FB is essentially Cis Me :tm: with a cute photo I took with a snapchat filter back in.....2017#the last time I was in this kind of situation even remotely was like 4+ years ago so I truly CANNOT read the vibes#especially since the locals here are ... much more friendly than I'm used to#to add some further context#this was a Clean segue from talking about the sublease#like literally no break haven't talked about what we're like at all#except that he works at a local auto engineering firm and I'm a student#which also. I'm a grad student so I'm like. an adult. but#if I were an undergrad (which I could be for best he knows unless he eyed my profile)#that would be uhhh#no sir thanks#anyway.
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also… been having a figure skater xiaophros au in my head recently… xiao’s an up-and-coming star who never really asked for the popularity, and aphros is the quiet artistic kid he’s had a crush on since he was seven
#the vibes are formulating#i feel like in every xiaophros story there’s always a couple of spiderverse-esque canon events#i.e. havria’s death…….. sorry aphros you ain’t escaping this one#and also losing the other yakshas in some way or other (whether that be death or losing contact)#and probably xiao’s abusive upbringing (he can’t get away from that either hahahahahahah)#that reminds me i need to write the pianist thing as well oh lord#but anyway.#yeah.#maybe havria passed from disease in this au? because the context isn’t quite as dramatic as a literal worldwide god war#zhongli started out as xiao’s coach before catching onto the mistreatment in his home life and took him under his wing…?#(basically the same as the pianist thing. sorry. the formula works ok)#and then for xiao and aphros… maybe they went to the same pre-school/ primary school?#they met shortly after xiao started skating methinks#or maybe they just lived close to each other as neighbours or something#i can imagine aphros being an international student who moved to liyue from somewhere else (sal terrae…?) at an early age#and maybe havria didn’t come with them (like how she stayed in sal terrae during the a.w.) but they stayed in contact#and she was kind of aphros’ only close friend (and crush) as they settled into this new country#even as they began to grow closer with xiao#and then havria fell sick and aphros couldn’t be there…#oh yeah. they are NOT escaping the trauma#but yeah! xiao and aphros are both slight misfits in this au i guess and they slowly grow closer#then they get separated for some time for some reason (like during the a.w. in the fic)#potentially as xiao’s fame grows he has less time to spend on himself and his personal relationships? and they sort of fall out of contact#and then they bump into each other again when they’re older#maybe at uni or something#i really should stop now#goodnight#r.ambling in the tags#i think i’m going to start using that tag now for when this happens
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