#he's a giant child who wants a mother not a gf

[bagofghosts]

Tale as old as time girl goes back to her ain't shit ex-bf....

[dietmountaindewbae]

hiii i LOVE ur fics omg pls never stop writing,

could you maybe do something You-ish (the TV show "You") (idk if you've seen it but it's amazing) something stalker-ish? where alex is joe and reader is his, soon to be, gf (cuz he makes her) (any alex era) 💌

hope ur well🤍💋

xxiii. obsession

alex turner x reader

word count: 12626

summary: We ran into each other by chance or by fate, your clumsiness started something for me, something for us, and it's my duty to find out who you are. (the car! era) This story is written on Alex's narrative.

warnings: obsessions & rough s*x

song recommendation: tear you apart by she wants revenge

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Ever since that day outside of a party, when you fell into my arms, drunk and loud, I had never felt so high, I had felt something the moment you smiled at me and flushed from the embarrassment, your eyes watery from the cold, your lips red full of blood, alcohol running fast through your veins, my heart falling from my mouth, you pulled away and hugged yourself, too embarrassed from what had happened, you thought it was too much booze, I thought it was meant to be, right place and right time. You just said "Sorry," I helped you to get back on your feet, our hands lightly graze and we lock in a stare, but then your mates dragged you across the street, they had dragged you away from me, like parents and their out-of-control kid, you waved goodbye at me, and all I could do was smile and wave goodbye to you, I was a fool, I didn't know what to say, it was one of those 'what would have happened?' moments when I ask myself, 'what if I had just said "It's ok, don't worry, love"' Icould vividly picture us walking down the street, going for some food because we were pissed, I would've kissed you, and asked for your number, then we could be dating, holding hands in the street, laughing at everything, hanging out with your stupid mates, if they hadn't been there and taken you away from me, I probably wouldn't have found meself, hiding behind the threes in the middle of a cold winter in LA, hoping to be in the warmth of your arms than out in the cold darkness of the street. I can't help to wonder if you ever think of me.

Your name and your last name stayed in a constant loop on my mind, one of your mates, the one with the light brown hair had screamed it as she found you falling into my arms, it would be stupid if I didn't look for you, right? You're gorgeous, you were nice and interesting, It would be weird if I didn't try to find your social media. It was easy to find you, I hate to admit how easy it is to find everything online these days, I found your Instagram and Facebook with just a few clicks on my computer, it's too easy it makes me laugh.

I scrolled through every single one of your posts on Facebook, you had a few, not many, everything was mainly about your little family trips and your sister's child, I made a note that you might just have Facebook out of pressure from your mother and sister since they always tag you in memes or those annoying TED Talk videos and you never answer, I found your mother's page, widowed, 49 years old, looks 45, she gave you her face, older sister, found her page too, married with a toddler, awfully bitter since she has to post where she is at all times, even if her child had taken a massive shit and had the looks of a giant worm, she would've posted it, I left the best for last. Your Instagram, no one these days uses Facebook.

Your Instagram was private but empty with not a single sight of you... so it's no use, what about your friends?... Hello you... I could hold on to these group pictures Larissa posted, thank you internet! Your friend group was small but they knew how to get around, only 4 people, two girls called Julie and Larissa, and Julie's boyfriend Luca, 5 if you counted me in, soon, luckily for me, Julie had an empty page, barely any pictures, just her and Luca but her profile was public but that lead me to find your other friend, Larissa had pictures of her face and some of you and Julie at pubs, very self-centered I suppose, Luca only posted about being a gym addict. I took a more personal approach, your sister Nina, who loves you very much, she had plenty of pictures of you. Thanksgiving was at your house, you looked gorgeous in those pictures, you wore a white dress with red flowers and black platforms, your long hair in beautiful waves, if any pervert were to see it, you would be such an easy victim with that long hair, but you're not, you're not so easy to hunt down in the dark. There was a picture of you and your sister's baby boy, sitting next to the three by a bay window, great. I took note of the stores, houses, and historical buildings nearby and then reality hit me as I took a cab on the way to your house.

Come on Alex, what are you doing? You look like a creep with your cap and coat in the middle of the night, It's only just a crush it'll go away, just like all the others. But you see? That's the problem with you, you're not, this is dangerous but I'll take my chances for you, I'm not obsessed with you, like I said, it's only just a crush. I hide behind some trees in front of your house on the other side of the street, and I contemplate this wonderful girl in her bedroom, going round and round with a book in her hands. 

At night me head couldn't stop spinning, making all of these scenarios, about a girl who meets a stranger, and they fall madly in love in just a split second. I didn't need more, I could hold on to your light vanilla perfume and the softness of your hair, your lips, your collarbone, your shoulder, the curve of your breasts in the blouse you wore that night, I want to hold you close and kiss you hard.

For next few days I followed you around, I made you a time table, every morning at 5:30 you went for a run, and you finished off at home some with exercises you found on YouTube, you were visibly struggling, and that made me laugh but I felt bad for doing so, you worked hard, you finished around 6:30, you liked walking like a true new yorker, in your most sober looks, sometimes in a dress with a blue navy sweater on top of dresses , jeans, and a silky shirt, winter or no winter, you loved wearing tank tops, loved exposing even just a little bit of your body, even in the coldest days, your legs, your beautiful shoulders, a v-neck, mini skirts, checkered shorts or pants, and sexy patterned tights with colors like pastel blue, and even red to spice up your all black outfits, and you always wore that luscious and berry coloured lipstick on your lips, heels, motorcycle boots, ballerina flats, dresses, chunky sweaters, straight leg vintage jeans, coats, heels, shoulder bags, mini bags, but what a must was, something that never came off of you, your golden necklace, you're an everything girl, you dressed for the day, it told you exactly what to wear, even if you broke your pattern, you mostly dressed like Jane Birkin, jeans, white shirt, chunky purse, but you love leather, leather belts, leather jackets. Then you walk to your favorite café, and your drink depends on how tired you feel, black coffee for busy days or cappuccinos for the days you don't feel in a rush, then you take the metro, read a book and sip on your coffee while listening to your music, you are in college by 7:30, have 30 minutes to spare, but you're wise, and you use them organize yourself while you ease up with some music, I've never seen a longer playlist to be honest, there's a bit of everything there, you write your things in a red wine journal, I wonder what's in those little pink notes you stick on your notebook.

I made sure you got safely to your workplace after school at 4:00 pm, a bakery, you love talking to the people at the register as they ask you for your favorite dessert, and you always choose the same, tiramisu, rich coffee with some liquor, mascarpone carefully enveloped with delicious whipping cream, and a touch of cocoa sifted all over the tiramisu, and you juggle back and forward with doing school work, help in the kitchen, serve the costumers with a bright and friendly smile, you're tired and they don't pay you enough. And when you get home a 10 pm, you don't go to sleep, you stay up until you're finished but you never truly are, no matter how late or early, you can't sleep, why is that beautiful? Aren't your sheets made of the softest cotton? But I can see, that you are compromised to live in a city that never sleeps, you get ready for your next job at your nearest live jazz pub as a bartender, I'm very familiar with that type of job, you serve the customers with a kind smile as the music rocks you, you talk to other girls, and the artists flirt with you from time to time but you didn't submit, you knew better than that, you got paid well, the tips that fell on your back pocket from the nasty old men helped you to afford your apartment, barely making it to the next cut but you made it.

And every restless night when your mind couldn't stop thinking you went out to the nearest pub, and you made new friends, some men flirted with you until sadly, one night I had to watch you leave with one of them, he conquered your body before me, I wonder if you ever think of me in that way, a sexy stranger, that clouded your mind with ideas until you finally gave in. He did what he wanted to do, and when he left, you were still flushed and needy, that night I watched you hump your pillow with angst to get yourself off, a gorgeous picture to see, one that was engraved in my brain since then.

Every night when I crashed in my bed, and I prayed for this to go away but it continued to grow, I prayed for you to get out of me head, but your face, your smile, every curve of your body lived in me head, and if I don't something about it, you'll hunt me down forever. 

I walked down the street on a Saturday night, It's been a week since we bumped into each other, discreetly searching for you with my eyes, until, I found you, in your West Village, street-level, white, vintage but modern apartment that might be hard for you to afford but you keep on paying it because the creepy landlord has a massive crush on you, he cannot fool me, I know what it's like.

You live in such a melancholic part of New York and also warm, old, and historic, it holds so many stories, and memories that's why it reminds you of home, like the baby pictures your mom posts, your living area illuminated with yellow lights from you mid-century lamps, like the sky in a beautiful afternoon, laying in your sette in a white tank top and panties, finally, you get to relax and enjoy yourself.

I could see the outline of your body through your thin linen white curtains, you were wearing vintage headphones connected to your record player, reading a book, Bukowski's 'Love Is A Dog From Hell' Yes, it must certainly is. Then suddenly you stood up, I'm certain you're barefoot, through a crack in the curtain I can see you're approaching the window, I could see the left side of your face, soft, round, cute little pointy nose, and your eyes, a sparkle in them as you stare into the sky, pink pouty lips, and a little beauty spot in your cheek, your phone in the ear, moving your lips with a smile as if you were talking to the person in the other line in real life. You nodded a couple of times and then you hung up, I saw the outline of your body, running towards your bedroom, what's got you in such a hurry? But before you forget, you turn up the music so loud the whole neighborhood can hear it, you choose something classic 'Bang Bang' by Nancy Sinatra, shoot me down, your linen curtain reflecting the light, and you take out your top in one move tossing it away, the outline of your naked beautiful body stretching had made me think so many things to do with it in less than a second, you pick your clothes with care, hanging them in front of your mirror, posing with the clothes on top of your body.

You sit somewhere in your room, and I can hardly see you, something about your magnetism draws me to you, so I stupidly cross the street and find shelter behind a three, but I get even more stupid as I get to see you doing your makeup in the mirror, your phone rings and your face goes blank, you answer and I see how your expressions change like the way flowers rot, gradually you get darker and darker, until... you break into tears putting an end to the call, and you push your phone away, you look into the mirror, and I see a tear roll down your cheek slowly, your face scrunched, and your cheeks reddened, you look at yourself in the mirror, all I can see is hate and rage, and then, you're cold as ice, not another tear rolls down your cheeks, you clean them up with a soft cotton pad and continue to apply makeup on your face, I wonder who has made you cry? even if it was just one small insignificant tear, whoever that was...they still made you cry.

Before you leave, you check yourself one last time, the dress you choose to wear was way better than the typical night outfits women wear these days, less ostentatious, you like dressing feminine, classic but modern, but not so pretty that you look like a little girl, you were more than pretty, you were hot, steaming, boiling, no man would approach you like that, and that was the sad truth for you but good news for both of us, not as any man would approach you, they had to have big balls to do so, baby doll dress, platforms, and a racer jacket, cute, stylish, edge, as always, you were sharp as a blade to the skin. Your hair is straight and it looks longer than when it's on your natural waves, and the wind blows perfectly on it, but that velvet red lipstick on your mouth might be the death of me.

You went outside, took a cab, and went out, I waved my arm, and soon enough a cab passed by.

"Where to?" The man said.

"Follow that cab in front of you," He took off, it was sad, drivers these days don't even care for men like this, the ones that just order to do something like that, there were a lot of crazy people here, and I had to protect you from them.

I see you being dropped off at a crowded pub, I hand a good amount of money to the man, and he drives off, I see you go inside, and you find your mates, I sit across from you, not too close so that you can see me but, but not so far so I don't hear you. You hug each one of them and you sit in the booth next to Julie.

"What's the occasion?" You said, next thing, Julie turns and shows a sparkling diamond on her finger, "Luke, Luke, Luke!" You teased her in awe, you held her hand carefully, examining it up close to the ring, "It's stunning" You said with a kind smile, it was amazing how I wished to be that hand, the one you caressed with care.

"I wanna do something big for the bachelorette, and I don't know where to start, I mean..." It must be hard for you, everyone around you is married or has a serious more than the 2-year relationship you can't hold on to, everyone has a kid now, everyone turns 27 and suddenly they already have a house, a child, and a loving husband, I wouldn't be like that ever, things won't be like that with me, I promise, we can take it as slow and calm as you want, or maybe go fast, I can go both ways, I just have to wait for the moment I may finally introduce myself to you, maybe by tomorrow when you go out but it must be soon before you forget about that last Saturday night, and it looks like you are in the process of, you are emptying those glasses of wine like coke in a hot summer day.

"Ease up with the wine," Larissa says, "You're gonna end up embarrassing yourself like the last time, you always have to pull a seen," Here we go.

"What fuckin' scene?" You spit back, "I was tired and I had been wearing high heels for more than 2 hours, yes, I was drunk but it was a genuine accident" You were annoyed, why could no one understand that? Accidents happen, and it must be hard for you to stand that pain, if I had stayed over, I would've given you a lovely massage, and treated you the way you're supposed to, I'm starting to be not very fond of Larissa.

"Uhu, yeah, but do you remember the last time you went to that party and got so drunk you "accidentally" confused a cigarette with marihuana and cried in the street like a baby?" Larissa, you just had to make it worse, didn't you?

"Fuck off, I can do whatever the fuck I want, if you don't want to believe me that's fine, oh!... and a scene, Larissa, a scene is what you pull when you yell at everyone as if you were the fucking owner of everything and everyone" You took your purse and rushed out, I see that Julie went out to get you, so I discreetly follow her, and find you waving your arm for a cab.

"Wait, don't go," Julie says with a caring tone, "I know you're not ok, you can't lie to me, you know how Lari is..."

"But why does she have to be a fuckin' news flasher of everything I do, embarrassing me in front of everyone, making me look like I'm not fun to be around," Julie tried to hug you but you wouldn't let her near.

"You say some scary shit while you're drunk, that's the only thing I'm going to agree on, but I can see you're not ok," Intuitive, honest, and kind, good choice for a friend.

"He called me" Julie sighs, who is he? This is the prize of being old fashioned, just like me, that's another thing I like about you, you have a life, even if you spend time alone, you go out in the world instead of taking a picture of it and expose your life, you have a little life, but it's yours and only yours.

"What did he want?" You shrugged and searched for something in your leather purse, taking a cigarette, and desperately flicking the lighter on.

"He just asked how I was, while he's off... modeling and possibly fucking two to three girls every single night, and he asks me how I am, drunk and high, he's so... he's-" To find the right words to describe that wanker only made me think about the damage he must have done to you, come on, spill the name, "That's not really everything, he's just-"

"Part of everything" Julie answered back, hugging you close to her, a caring hug, sweet, I could take a picture of it, I'm glad there is Julie for you, "Go home, and text me when you get there," She holds her arm up, taking a cab for you and sending you back home, I did the same thing as before, and the man did as he was told. But the problem was, you didn't go home, you went to a nearby liquor store and bought more wine for yourself, you drank it straight from the bag and you plugged in your wired earphones to your phone, kicking your feet and humming to the music 'New Dawn Fades' by Joy Division, a sad post-punk classic, you should be glad I am here to be on the look for you as you waddle in the steers, an easy target, if anyone dared to do anything to you, well, you must be glad there is me.

You walked a few blocks to your house, but you didn't go in, you couldn't hold yourself up anymore, so you sat by the staircase, defeated since you were desperately looking for your keys in your little purse, and you stared into the empty dark street, and you cried, you kept crying so hard it makes me feel the need to go and help you, I didn't really think about what I was doing, you were desperate, and I was afraid of letting you stay outside like that, then you stood up, unpredictable as always, I see you taking a fast pace. What are you thinking about? Did you forget something? You walk a few blocks until you stay still on a crowded street, the cars on that street go by faster, and you stare into the void as the red lights flash before you in straight lines, your cheeks stained with black tears, the darkness takes you in like one of their children, your head wrapped up in horrible ideas, so dark they blind your eyes, so atrocious your mind can only find one way to make you see the light at the end, you can't find peace, your body is tired, your eyebags are heavy, and you don't feel like yourself, you've lost control and you murmur something over and over again under your breath like some sort of sick prayer...

"A loaded gun won't set you free"

I see you take a step forward, now standing on the pavement, my heart drops to my stomach, and I run to get you, the wind blowing my cap away, what are you doing? why are you doing this? I can fix it, I can fix you, I can help you, I'll make it all disappear, before you take another step, the bus coming your way was out to get you, and you closed your eyes, but I won't let you go like that, my hand grasps your shoulder tightly, and I pull you to my arms, you're cold, shivering, your wired earphones fall from your head and get tangled in your hair.

"Are you alright?" Your face is wet with tears, and you look at me with big eyes, flushed again from the embarrassment, but that sparkle, that little fucking sparkle just makes me so mad, I'd kill for you to see me like that over and over, your little nose red, your eyelids a bit puffy.

You quickly wipe your tears, "Erm..." You sniffed, and you stared into my face with a cute and educated smile, "No... I mean, yes... sorry, I'm just... I wasn't thinking, I'm sorry," You scan my face, the familiarity of it makes a grin spread on your lips, "If I sound like a creep please stop me, but, I think I know you" Your lips curl into a bigger smile, as you realize who I am, I am that man, I am the man who will always be there for you, "You're that guy I fell into the other day" I pretend as if am amazed over who small the world is.

"Hey you," You said to me with a smile.

"Hello you" We both look to our feet, and I feel some warmth creeping up me cheeks, "We gotta stop meetin' like this" I see you flush, looking at me through your lashes, you slowly bite your bottom lip as you brush your hair out of the way, flirty. You struggle to untangle your earphones from your hair, I take a step forward and gently untangle them.

"You just had to come and rescue me again huh? Who are you? Superman?" I hear your voice, and your laughter like a melody I would love to hear over and over again, gentle, a little deep, but beautiful, I can see that behind all of that dark makeup and those dark looks, you're a sweet but lost little girl.

"I'm Batman" You're laughing and blushing at my jokes, that means that you like me.

"I like your accent batman" That's nice to hear, some people say that it sounds too rough and I sound like a scumbag, but I'm glad your ears enjoy the sound of it.

"Thanks, love" You take a step forward, your eyes looking at mine and then at my lips, it's hard to breathe right now.

"What are you doin' so late, huh? Are you wearing your costume?" You tease me, and we begin to walk together, to nowhere, just where we want this conversation to take us.

"Sort of, and you?" You shrugged, what a hard night you had. I'm worried about you, you didn't need to apologize for "not thinking", we kept walking until the smell of food dilated our nose trails.

"Just went for some drinks with a couple of friends nothing too exciting... do you mind if we stop for some food?" My fantasies had become real, you wanted to get some street pizza, the nice old man smiling at you tenderly, he's nice, not creepy, just a nice man, you ask for two slices of pepperoni with Italian sausage and the man is nice enough to give you the most fresh and warm slices of pizza, "Here, it's on me... it's the least I can do"

"Thank you" You chuckled and waved it off, gosh I wish I could just freeze this moment forever.

"I should be thanking you..." You wait to hear my name, and I stay silent contemplating this moment for a second, this is how it starts.

"Alex" You shake hands with me as your tongue, teeth, and lips articulate your name, you have a lovely name, and I'm crazy about you, "Charmed" I hold my gaze at you as you slowly let go of me hand.

"So, what were your plans for the night before I had completely crashed them" Funny, dark jokes, sarcasm, you're really smart but you don't like showing it off, you make me laugh so much, it's clear we have the same humor, that's another reason as to why you're perfect for me and I am for you.

"Um... I thought about going out somewhere, anywhere, sometimes I can't sleep... I'm afraid of losing life by being a slave of me work, me house, everythin' but I found something exciting" You smile to yourself, and you smile at me, you see? We're perfect.

"I do that sometimes... whenever I can't sleep, I go to a bar and you know... try to meet new people, I hate having to post about it on social media though, everyone has their screens glued to their faces, and I just don't like that, I don't wanna breathe my phone, I wanna breathe air" If I were you I would write a whole book about this, I love that you think just like that, we can be people for once, and run around the world and make it ours, "What do you do for a living?"

"Music producer" You smiled at me, "And I have the gift of guessing people's favorite artists,"

"Really? What are mine's?" I have the chance to look at you confidently, I see you like that, I can see how fast your heart is going, how you try to calm it with your breathing, your chest rising and falling fast, as I stare into your eyes intensely making little goosebumps crawl like spiders, I hope you know how much I like you.

"Nancy, Lana... and summat dark like Joy Division Unknown Pleasures" You clap and you're amazed at how exact I am, I can smell it on you.

"Exactly, I love them," You began to hum their songs, dancing on the street, I follow your lead, as you spin, "I was listening to it a few moments ago" You turn dark again, I'm not going to let you, I immediately regret ever saying that, I don't know what that bloody song did to you, but you were listening to it before you attempted to get crashed.

"I'm glad I was there" Sweeten up, tell me what's wrong, I'm here for you.

"Yeah... me too, I wasn't thinking straight..." You clean your throat, you cross your arms, and furrow you're eyebrows, it makes you angry to say it, makes you sad, makes you frustrated, and even so since you watch me patiently waiting for you to tell me what happened to you, I didn't have to say it, you already knew "I don't think you would like to hear about my problems Alex, they're meaningless"

"Nothin' is meaningless just like us meeting tonight perhaps..." Shite, I take it back, I can see your face looking at me weirdly, but you smiled, you're fascinated? Did you like that?

"You're right," You warm up to me, I can see it in your body, I can see it in your face, I've given you no reason to not trust me, I'm harmless, I told you you can trust me, "But I want a ciggy, if you don't mind" You lean against a brick wall, your leg supporting your weight, I'm in love with your smooth and shiny legs, what's your secret?

"Mind if I steal one?" You say no with your head, you check your box again, and you curse in your head. The box has only one cigarette left.

"Sharing it is" You light your cigarette with your pink lighter, I can see some cute puppy stickers on it, you inhale the thick white smoke and exhale it, your whole body relaxing, feeling lighter, you feel calm, and you hand it to me, holding it between your index and your middle, you have a vintage silver rose ring in your middle, cracked red nail polish, and the cigarette butt was stained with your gorgeous red lipstick, I take it in between my lips, your lipstick tastes sweet like marshmallows, I savor it, Jesus, I hope I can taste your pretty lips soon.

"Talk to me," You sigh, and your mouth articulates each phrase, your voice tired and sad, I hear every detail of your story with care, a girl that can't control her alcohol, one that just wants to have fun, one that makes stupid mistakes but learns, I see beauty not only out but inside you, in your mistakes, in your intentions, in your life, you only got one, and you've made noble mistakes, I can see you're a whole woman, a hot and determined woman, but you have no road clear enough, no road to pick, you're chasing something you don't even know what it is.

"So now, I'm just trying to see what happens, I'm getting my degree soon, and then I'll keep working, maybe I'll start something on my own" Maybe if you don't love your work, at least you can come home back to me, I'll cook dinner, I'll wash your clothes, I'll set the table, I'll prep you a warm bath, I'll shower you, you won't move a single finger when you come home to me, "How's working as a music producer?"

"Oh, well, it's great... sometimes we have our differences but most of the time I just do what people tell me to do, in secret I make their music better, sometimes they don't notice and they just brag about how amazing was their idea" Your cigarette burns away into my fingers, I set it off into the wall and discreetly put it inside my pocket, you change the direction, we're going back, you're shamelessly eying me up and down, I swear if you don't stop...

"What are your favorite bands?" You're changing the subject, I don't like that, I don't like that you don't want to talk about what you've told me, but I keep you interested.

"Well... an old-time favorite is The Strokes" I answer firmly, you take out from your purse your earphones, plug them into your phone, and press play on the music as we walk together sharing your music, 'Call It Fate Call It Karma' on full volume.

"Might be basic for you, but I don't see a better song for this moment" You turn to face me, and we stop in the dark corner of the sidewalk, your eyes greedy and precious, that bloody spark in your dark eyes excites me, it's all in your eyes, I can see it clearly, I can see what you want from me, you blink slowly and wait for me to make the next move, and I don't doubt for a second, I close the space between us, and very gently press the palm of my hand to your warm cheek, it's warm and pink, staring into your eyes like stars in the black sky, kissing your lips, sweet as burned marshmallows in a bonfire night, you kiss me so softly at first, but you make that animal inside me come alive, I'm a man, I'm an animal, and I kiss your tender lips hungrily, I didn't expect for you to answer back with the same hunger, you feed me with your kiss, and your breath tastes like ecstasy, I'm a junkie, sweet sweet nicotine, I'm a chain smoker, "Take me home, Alex..."

"I'll take you anywhere you tell me, sweetheart" You grab my hand, fingers intertwined, and I feel 15 again, my palms are sweaty, my sweat is cold, and I feel so warm in my clothes, I can't wait to take them off, the anticipation getting the best of me, you make my dreams come true, and I'm so happy the world had chosen you to fall into my arms. I'm your protector, a guardian angel.

On the way home, we sneak to share some angsty kisses three or more times, you're getting me worked up, letting me touch you, grasping your hips, biting my lip, kissing my cheek, moaning my name into my lips, you're making my head spin. We walk up the stairs together, opening the door to your shelter, you have a lovely house, so clean that some things are allowed to be misplaced, it's big because you don't like having so many things out, your bed is on the other side of the wall were you living area is, the vague familiarity of it makes me feel like I'm imagining it all.

"This my girl cave, my crib" You joke, I take pictures of it in my head from bottom to top, every single inch, every place I imagine us being in, watching tele, cooking together, making a mess of the kitchen of course, dancing, fucking, scratching your wooden countertop, "What do you think?"

"It's-" We both get freaked out by the knocks at your door, some dickhead calling out your name, begging you to open the door, you roll your eyes, you know exactly who he is.

You swing open the door, cross your arms, and stand your ground, marking that he's not welcome here, you're strong, you're determined, go you! Show some teeth, "I don't wanna hear another one of your crazy fucking stories, tell them to your mother, Cameron" You were about to shut the door in his face but he stops it with his foot, that must've hurt Cameron, that's your ex isn't he? The one who made you cry, "Leave" You spit.

"I won't, you can't possibly ask for something like that... you and I know there's no one better than me, no better match than us" You stay silent, why are you thinking? why are you second-guessing? He takes a step forward, he's getting closer, you're face is a frown, you don't want him to touch you even though he keeps trying.

"I don't want you here, you must leave now Cameron, I want you out" He turns into hysteric laughter, he thinks you're crazy, he thinks you've lost your mind, well big shot, you're not it, Cameron only wants to hurt you with his words, he wants to make the most damage, he gets off at this, making you his only real standard, but Cameron will never treat you like you must be treated.

"Don't talk me to like that" I take his aggressiveness as a sign to take a step in, who the fuck does this wanker think he is to talk to you like that? You see that's a real scumbag, and I'll be his worst nightmare.

"Like what?" I come up from the back, cocky, sounding like a total prick, and I can see that you love it, when I sound like this, dominant, confident, "She's telling you to go, I'm telling you to fuck off. Now" I slam my voice at him, there are scary people in this world, there are men like Cameron, he has an intense gaze, but he wouldn't ever pick up a fight for anyone, yes... not even you, he's too vain, a narcissist, he is all bark but no bite, and then there are the men who would move mountains for their loved ones, he steps away, and I shut the door close, I can feel you shivering beneath my skin.

You stare at me, and I drag you in closer, that's what you like... you liked to be treated rough, you like being needed, I push your hips against mine, I can see it in your face, you've felt it, you've felt how hard my cock is, and it's hurting so fucking bad now, I can't wait for another second, I can't wait to take you to bed, you jump on me, wrapping your gorgeous soft legs on me, I decide to leave the first reminder of me on your kitchen table, laying your body on top of the cold wooden countertop for the first reminder of me and the things I'm about to do to you, my knuckles pull down your panties, ripping them off from your skin, your pussy glistening, bathed in your wetness, I can smell your flesh from the distance, like a predator and their victim, I'm a lion, "I'm gonna fuckin' tear you apart"

"Fuuuckin' please" You moan so loudly I bet it could be heard from across the street, and your voice shivers, I've barely even touched you yet, and you're already so wet for me, what are you thinking about? what's in your mind? I wish I could crack your skull open.

I lower myself in between your legs, I've been so busy admiring your body, the scent of the almond oil you rub on your smooth legs, I bet that you shaved them today, and I wonder what else have you shaved, your dress rides to your hips as you contortion under my touch, Jesus, you're desperate for it, but no, I want to enjoy you.

"Calm the fuck down, lay still and close your eyes" I order, and you stiffen up, staying quiet, and still, "Atta girl", I can finally see what's in between your gorgeous long legs, a pink and small pussy, Jesus, I bet you're so fucking tight by the looks of it, my ring and middle finger begin their assault, pressing down vertically against your clit, you hum and your hips writhe against me fingers, slowly, pushing them, you like that, rubbing yourself against them, and when I see you through the glass I lose my mind, I see how me fingers get coated and damped in your wetness, and I love watching you get so worked up by that, I can feel me cock just getting harder by the second, it's hurting and it's a pulsing pain, but I bare with it just for you, because now I'm going to show you how exactly you're supposed to get fucked.

I spread open your pussy, pink and warm, swollen clit I pinch in between me fingers, and you hiss but you only get wetter, if I pinched for a little longer you were sure coming all over the table. I open me mouth to taste your warm and savory juices, I suck and kiss your clit, picking up with my tongue your wetness, you're going to cum so good, I can feel it building up, you're in for a ride, and you've just begun to climb up the roller coaster.

"Oh... that's soo good" You gasp and sigh, I let my two fingers twist inside your pussy, me knuckles rimming your walls slowly, the bumpy and hard skin of my fingers make you gently fuck yourself into them, while I watch you with my tongue lapping over your clit teasingly, just those gentle touches make your legs shake, and your walls to contract, you're wonderful, you behave well, your hands slowly crawling into me hair, pulling it gently, your little whimpers get me worked up and I have to put in the biggest effort to not palm meself, I want you to feel every inch of me.

"You feel so lovely, babe doll" This feels so right, you bite on my lower lip, pulling my flesh until it bleeds. You're a sucker for my accent, you really are, you enjoy hearing me voice, doesn't it relax you? Doesn't it turn you on? I want to know what it is... I want to feel what it is, your legs keep shaking and your body keeps getting stiffer, your lower abdomen making pressure, and your walls are closing around me fingers, I shake them inside you, your mouth falls open, my lips sucking your clit harder and your body arches until I feel your cunt losing up, feeling your release leaking out of that tiny little hole, I'm eager to taste it, I eat your pussy eagerly, you know I'm hungry for it, my mouth eating your pussy like a soft and warm bun, and you taste just as sweet, just as good as I imagined, I won't let you rest, I will keep you on the limit. I drag you forward, making you kiss me lips, "Do you taste that? Taste how sweet you are... taste how good I ate you"

"And you're gonna fuck me just as good?" Your hand sneaks in between me legs, you love how hard my dick is for you, it makes you feel so thrilled, makes you feel good about yourself, and it makes you feel hot.

"You'll just have to wait a little bit longer, I'm not done with you" I'm certain about something, you're a kinky little shit, and I know you want something like this, I bend you over the kitchen table, and you're just ready for it, arching your back, spreading your legs, you're not putting a fight, my hand kneads your ass like dough, and spanks it hard over and over again, "You precious little thing, are you going to do everything I tell you to do?"

"No" You state firmly, earning another smack in your ass.

"Tell me summat..." I push my hips against your dripping wet cunt, that's oozing for another smack, "How much do you want it?" You sigh, rubbing your ass against my cock, you're killing me, you better stop now, the friction, the warmth, your goddamn smell, "Answer me you fuckin' cunt" You giggle, you do love it.

"I want you so bad" You whisper, no, I don't like that.

"Not enough" The smacks you earn are getting harder to bear, but you enjoy them, and so do I, you masochistic little shit.

"I need you inside me, Alex... I can't wait any longer" You rock your hips against mine, humping your naked pussy against my bulge, "Please..." You whimper so sweetly, I can't handle it any longer, I take off your dress, and you're wearing nothing but your tall black heels, looking like a fuckin' hooker, but I bet that's what you like.

"You want it you fucking slut?" You keep whimpering and rubbing yourself on me jeans, I bet that you've stained them already, "Come here" I turn you around and kiss you deeply, I can feel your hands unbuttoning my shirt as fast as you can, even in the heat of the moment you don't break my shirt but I couldn't care less, I take your hands and make fists ripping it apart and throwing it away, you're even faster to take out my jeans and leaving me on my boxers, that's the one good thing about me, I can see how your eyes lit up as you see how hard me fat cock is for you, you bite your lower lip and I pull you back up from your knees.

Time for reminder number two, the settee, I pull you up, and you sit in my arm until I put you back to the ground gently, I have to let you know that I was here, I need you to know how good I am, no other man could please you like that, I pull your leg up while you hold yourself up with the other, your pussy is so fucking wet my cock slides inside you so easily, I can feel the electric shocks that run all over your body, "Hard, please" You whine, I'm going to show you what hard actually is.

My hips thrust inside you so roughly the settee moves out of place, your nails dig into the cushions as I keep railing your tight hole harder, and you scream like bloody murder, I hope your neighbors don't call the police, I hope they can see how hard you're getting your cunt fucked, I want everyone that walks by to hear you, "You wanted hard babe!" You moan and scream, and keep getting your pussy pounded like meat being beaten up to get it tender. I dig your head into the pillows.

"Don't... d-don't-" Don't what?

"I can't understand you, babe, can you repeat that for me?" You pant trying to catch your breath, and your legs are numbing up, and I can see they've lost some strength, "Do you want me to stop, because I can" As I saw you didn't make a move, I began to pull out but you stopped, digging your nails into my wrist.

"Don't stop for fucks sake" Now for the next one, I stay buried inside you like that, you keep trying to fuck yourself into me cock but I just won't allow it, I pick you up once more, and your legs around my torso, and you press your warm chest against mine, I lean back against the giant bookshelf next to your bedroom door, you hold on into the shelves for leverage while I drive my cock inside you, your pussy feels so tight I wish I could let this last forever, I'll make that pussy mine.

"You want more, babe?" You hum and gasp, yes of course you do, you're loving every single inch of me cock, "God you look so beautiful with your mouth opened like that," I lick your bottom lip, "And that little cunt of yours is so wet for me, you're just making things harder for me..." I pushed meself too hard inside you, the shelf shook, and something hard dropped to the ground but you ignored it, you've lost yourself in my touch, and I feel embarrassed for dropping something. Your inner animal wakes up as I throw you into your bed.

I crawl on top of you but you gather up your strength to flip me over, I didn't expect that, you've taken the lead and I want to see you lose control, you writhe your hips into mine, your eyes facing the roof, and your mouth wide open, your hair falling into your head, you looked possessed, but you had lost the power to think about what you were doing, "For fucks sake" If you keep moving like that, you're going to make this end sooner, and I've already planned everything out, I try to sit up but you hold me down, chocking me so hard that it's almost impossible to breathe for me, but I love that feeling, my head feels light, my vision is blurry, but I'm not going to give in to you, I already have, you have got to give into me.

I flip you over so harshly, your head almost slammed against your headboard, "Listen to me you fuckin' cunt" My harsh tone makes your core shake, "You ain't the one on command, now... I don't wanna repeat meself" It's arousing you, I can feel it in between your legs, you're shamelessly getting wetter, "Don't make me repeat meself again" You love to play with me, I see that naughty little smile curling into your lips.

"You already did" You like to pull on my hair, don't you? And you will pay for that.

"Don't fuck with me" Your eyebrows push together and your little smirk makes me go mad.

"You know I love to" Love? You "love to"? Does this mean that you might love me? Even just a tiny bit?

"You do, huh?" I begin to rock my hips against yours, slowly, passionately, like a slow and steaming dance, I see your fingers grasping the sheets making hard fists, "You don't know what you've gotten yourself into" And I'm not lying, you really don't.

"Show me Alex" You whisper to me those three words so sexily, charmingly, I've already lost my mind.

"I'll show you how a real man fucks you, babe," Your oozing with the thrill, "I'll show you how to behave... you little fuckin' cunt" Your mouth opens to moan and I take advantage of it to spit inside your mouth, both my hands chocking you, "You're mine... all mine"

"I'd love to" You whimper, "Make me yours please... please just do, I want you Alex" You keep asking me that with your little weak voice, your body that speaks to me, I can read it so easily, it tells me that I'm doing exactly what you want me to do, it shivers, and it quivers, and it sweats, it screams, it tightens, it stiffens, in your eyes I can feel your fast heartbeat in my fingers, and it goes just as fast as mine, my body against yours sounds like I'm butchering you, your neighbors must think I'm holding a knife against your throat, but it does go as deep, it does penetrate and it hurts you in the most magnificently and pleasingly way, your eyes red shot, and your voice gets quieter, shit, I'm losing you, I am.

"Wake up, wake up!" I scream to you, my hand patting your cheek lightly, your pulse is barely detectable, I slap you across your face and you gain back consciousness in the blink of an eye, I didn't want to do it, I would never do that, but when your lips curl into your devilish smile, I know see how you really are.

"Do that again Al" You tease me, I love it when you call me like that, no one ever really does that anymore, is that my new nickname? Al? You're going to remember me forever babe, I hope you do, and tomorrow when you wake up, I'm still going to be there, I'll make your breakfast, and I'll do anything you ask me to do, even dishes, you won't pick them up.

"You're mad, woman" You giggle, and you try to pick yourself up, I can't let you, I did knock you over completely, my hand very gently caresses your cheeks, it's red and fragile, it must burn or at least sting, "Let me do the kissing for now, babe"

"And the fucking too perhaps?" You smile at me, your cute little button nose is flushed, your cheeks and chest are red, your nipples are hard, it turned you on to this point, you're dark, what else are you not telling me? "I'm crazy about you" Those words will echo in my head for the rest of my days.

I take no rush into fucking you, I'm not just a guy you'll sleep with, I'm your man, and I wanted to make sweet sweet love to you, but you won't let me, you like it rough, hard, fast, I don't want this moment to be over, at least not for me yet, you can cum as many times as you like, and like the real man I am, I am profoundly true to the saying 'Happy wife, happy life'

I hug you close to me, that's the least I can do, if I'm going to lose control, let my heart tell yours how much I love you, even if you dump me like a puppy, I'll stay loyal, I'll follow your scent everywhere, I will forever remember the scent of your vanilla hair, your Dior perfume, and the golden necklace around your neck, I counted 15 moles on your body, even the one in between your legs, my hands grab your hair into fists as I pound you harder and harder, you're losing your mind and I'm losing control again, your bed squeaks so loudly and the headboards slams against the wall so harshly, but I don't stop I can't stop now, I can feel you, I can feel it coming, you bring yourself to an end again, the palm of my hand slowly adds pressure on your lower belly, to ease you up, the bed keeps squeaking so annoyingly, and even after we ignored the several warnings, the legs of your bed broke and your headboard fell to the ground, we both break into laughter.

"Oh God!" Your little laughter is so bubbly and funny, it makes me smile and feel so ashamed at the same time.

"I'm so sorry, I'll pay for that" You rub the tip of your little nose against mine, and look at me tenderly, your fingers caressing the back of my head, if only you could see the hearts in my eyes.

"Don't be ridiculous... you know, I've never broken a bed before... you're not going to be easy to forget batman, I hope you don't disappear into the night soon" I'll get you off first, but there's one thing you should be certain of.

"I never intended to" Was that too much? Sorry if that was too much, maybe it was... maybe it wasn't, I'm having a hard time reading your face right now, you're looking at me very seriously, I don't want to get my hopes up, but you're killing me, I should focus now, finish the deed, "But I'm still sorry about your bed though"

"Shut the fuck up, and keep fucking me" Whatever she wants, whatever she wants... You're already the song on the radio I got stuck in me head.

I pull us closer to the safest edge of your bed, toss your legs over me shoulders, and bend them over, I lean over and pound the living shit out of you, I was balls deep inside you, and you like it, so much that you dig your nails into my back, scratching my skin until red and bloody, I don't care how much it hurts, leave as many marks as you want, the deeper the better, my hair falls over my forehead and you make the kindest gesture, your brush it back with your long nails, even if by now I'm sweating like a pig you keep bringing me closer to you, I can feel the light tingles of you breathing in me face, of you biting down on my golden chain making laugh, making me go insane, I keep pushing harder, and you throw your head back, almost letting go of me, but I won't let you, I'll send you to heaven if you want, but don't leave without me.

"Oh, Alex... I'm so close, please..." Your eyeballs turn into beautiful glossy pearls, and you crumble down into pieces as you coat my cock in your warm release, I can feel your walls pushing it out and running down your cozy hole, I stay buried inside you, watching your mouth fall open and choke out your last orgasms, they spin in my head like a tiny little music box, "You're next, Alex... you can't end things like that... you know how much I want it, you already did so much for me" Wait, what are you doing?

Your hands run up my chest, and you massage my shoulders, "You really want me to breed you, you greedy little fuck?" Your hands go down and you massage my balls, Jesus, you really do, I bet you're not even aware of what you're doing to me... or are you?

"Yes Alex, use it... use me" You know exactly what you're doing, I drag my cock out just rimming your walls once again, I better start warming you up, but you don't want that now, you're thinking about me, about what I want, you deserve a little star on your forehead for being so caring, a man and its needs, it's nothing compared to your needs, and I bet you needed someone to get you off correctly.

"You're mine... I want you to say it" I promised to you since the beginning, I won't stop until you're mine, "Are you mine?" I look at you with my big eyes full of hope for you to say it, please tell me now.

"I'm yours Alex" My lips taste your mouth, your tongue dancing with mine. You're made of the sweetest poison

God, I remember that time I was watching through your window, that night you were laying down on your settee, your hand was vigorously and shamelessly rubbing your clit in circles, fucking your little cunt with two fingers, rocking yourself into your touch with the desperate need to rub yourself against something hard, just like you were rubbing yourself against me hard cock. You keep squeezing my balls, your hands sneak into my ass squeezing it gently to keep me going, you love having me right at the edge of ending it all, I can't keep it up for another moment anymore, you're big stary eyes, your little sparkles, your touches, the smell, the noises, you're begging for me cum, I slam my fist next to your head, dragging your body up as I push myself deep inside you and coat your walls in me creamy cum, you're pure bliss as I feel us both coming together, a gorgeous after bliss surrounding us, you have this certain smell, a certain heat, and you're just so beautiful with your cheeks flushed like that.

"Let me clean you up, it's me mess, just lay down" You nod your head, laying gently on your broken bed to not let it crash completely into the ground, you point your finger telling me where the toilet is, and I rush there to grab a few paper towels and clean your skin softly, soothingly, I can feel you relaxing, I can smell my body in yours, the smell of my cologne, your almond oil, and your pheromones. And when I'm done you grab my hand and I can see you thanking me for even that tiny gesture, that's nothing you should be thanking me for, that's the least.

"Now the question is... where are we going to sleep?" We? You want me to sleep here, with you? You're not quicking me out, or at least not yet, this is my chance and I would be lying if I didn't say I was the luckiest man alive.

"Maybe the settee would be a nice place" Your gorgeous olive green settee, corduroy, soft, and marked, I can see you smiling at the space in between your two cushions, I see your giant ivory bookshelf, another mark. I lean forward to pick up what I had dropped when we assaulted the shelf, but it wasn't one of the thousands of vinyl records you've got organized by letter, it's a case... a guitar case. I didn't know that about you. Tonight made me realize that you're a hat full of surprises, the deeper I search the more I find.

"Want some food?... I've got some nuggets and fries... and-" You close your fridge and turn to look at me, "Oh, you know how to play?" I nod my head, trying to stay as noble and humble, you smack your hand into your forehead, "Of course, you do," You sigh and I can hear you whispering to yourself, "Stupid question"

"And do you?" You hum as a yes, interesting, I bet you do, but why do you hide your guitar like that? As if it was buried in this beautiful world with music, colors, words, and meanings.

"I did..." You turn on your air frier and toss some nuggets and fries in there, I'm so happy that you're not like one of those crazy keto girls, you pour us some fresh orange juice as you keep talking to me, "But you know, my mom always told me 'that's just a hobby', and when I moved here I hoped to find some people that wanted to share this fire to try to make some music... but I never managed to, and then I just gave up"

"That's a bit sad, love... you shouldn't have" You lean over the kitchen countertop, amazing reminder, I see you smiling over the edge of your shoulder, but you turn to look at me as you pick up some of our clothes, and then you run into my shirt and you decided to wear it as your sex shirt, you look beautiful, "I mean, being a music producer and making it was hard, but it was even harder to follow something I'm not passionate about" That's what's wrong, you didn't follow your passion, that's what you're missing, "Have you got any songs?" Your face lights up but it quickly slips away, and the redness crawls into your face, What? I'm trying to help you, I want you to be happy with me and with your life.

"I can't accept that" You quickly answered, your head said no but I know you want this, it's served on a silver platter, why can't you let your reserved self accept this?

"Accept what? I haven't said anything, I just asked if you could sing for me... I know you have a lovely voice" You laugh sarcastically at me, leaning over to fetch your guitar, and searching for a notebook on your vinyl shelf.

You sit next to me, legs crossed, guitar on your lap, naked with just my shirt on, your knees holding your notebook as you search for the perfect page for me, you make sure that your guitar is tuned before you start and your thumb softly strums down the notes, making a lovely rhythm, and only two chords, C and Em, your voice sounds like a million angels, and I feel like a lost man after serving the purgatory, your voice is so hauntingly beautiful, your lyrics are very forward, and I'm happy to know through your lyrics how truly you feel about things, you don't search for big words you choose the right ones, you're bold, and you're wise, you try to put an end to your complicated feelings, your questions, everything, all in one song with a few strums and two simple chords.

"That's all," You say putting your guitar next to you, I'm blown away, "I know I suck"

"No!" I answer immediately, "You don't... I think it's beautiful"

"You're just saying that because..." No, I'm not just saying that because I want to fuck you, no not at all, don't you ever believe that.

"I'm saying that because I think you've got it, and you don't want to quit everything to live your dream, I know it must be difficult... but I'm being truthful, you've got summat and we can work on it" Why do you keep saying no with your head? Stop that, if I could rip it off right now... no, don't think that, "Come on, I'm not takin' a piss" You break into laughter with me, throwing your head back, you jump up the moment your oven dings and you run to flip the nuggets and the fries, putting 10 more minutes into the oven.

"Takin' a piss" You laugh to yourself, "Well, if you're not takin' a piss" You imitate my accent and it sounds so silly when you try to do it, "I'm not accepting your help Alex, you have your own thing, and if I'm going to do this, I have to do it on my own," Perfect, I'll take that.

"Why don't you go to Panda's next Saturday? They're looking for some people to play some music, any style, any theme, you can do whatever you want... I'm sure everyone will love you, and you know, there's always someone on the hunt for summat fresh!" I see you thinking about it, I'm not saying I'll help you, I'm just offering the start of something great for you, this is it for you. And yes, I am going to get you the best deal you could ever imagine, but first I have to run things through your notebook, I secretly hide your baby pink notebook, your initials written with a black sharpie, and I stash it in between the cushions.

"I'll think about it" I'll think about it. I hope you do go, I can't wait to see you singing for everyone, you will charm them, "Dinner is served me lord" You're also a dork, just like me, imagine all of the jokes we can make together, they'll be endless.

"My! Thank you, very kind" Dinousor nuggets with a side of fries, the melancholic feeling of your childhood must be present every single day, you squeeze some Ketchup into my plate, squirting into my chest.

"Whoops! Let me clean that for you" You lean in, sticking out your tongue to lick off the ketchup from my chest, "Eat up!" I'm in love with you, "And then we'll get on with that" You look down, and I do the same, shite, look what you do to me, you make me get so hard like a little boy hitting puberty.

"Bugger" I whisper under my breath, you heard it since you giggled, "You know, I think the food can wait right?" You push your plate away and you immediately crawl on top of me, kissing my lips so tenderly, caressing my chin with your fingers, and enjoying the texture of the little hairs that are growing on me cheeks.

"Mmm ketchup" You laugh into the kiss, and our teeth collide accidentally, and us by casualty, "You taste yummy"

"Imagine yourself" You blush hard, something tells me no one has ever made you feel that good about yourself, and that's because no one will see you with the same eyes as me, you're my girl, you will be, I try to flip you but instead you stop me, have I done something wrong?

"We're not going to break this couch, I love this fucking couch, you understand that?" You firmly said, your eyes threatening to kill me if I do as such, "I'm on top" I squeeze your ass tightly biting my bottom lip.

"Whatever she wants... but if I broke the bed it's 90% your fault," You scoffed and laughed as I peeled my shirt from your body gently, making sure I don't break more buttons so you could keep it, "Because you feel so good, and maybe you could be on top, but I know sooner or later... you'll be the one giving into me" Quite intense, wasn't I? Fuck!

"But for now, it's me who calls the shots, so if we break this... it will be 98% your fault, how do you like me now, smarty?" You secure your arms around my shoulder, I pull you in, chest on chest, as I give myself a few more strokes before you slowly slide down my cock, moaning so gently, I like feeling every part of you, I can see how your body twists and shivers when I hit that sweet spot.

"How do you like that?" I rub it in your face, how good I'm making you feel, "I guess one round just wasn't quite enough for you," You start humping on my cock slowly, you're just teasing me again, but I enjoy feeling your body move against mine, your little cries and moans, everything piles up in me, I know this time I'll enjoy you, picture you going in slow motion, I can feel your rapid heartbeat, I can feel the heat wave that raises and wrap us in, I can feel your body begging to mine to stay as close as possible, because that's what your body and my body want, we smile, we laugh, and I fall deeper in a hole full of love for you, and I'm no donkey to use the dirt to get out, I rather stay buried deep inside you just like now. Your body is tired, it's been two hours since your legs worked for the last time, and you beg for more into my ear.

"You're so good, I-I don't understand" What don't you understand, babe? Your fingers intertwine in the back of my head, as you writhe your hips to mine, our bodies dancing together so wonderfully, your hips move in circles against mine.

"Neither of those assholes could ever come close to me, I'm a real man..."

"And you've got the size" You flirt with me so shamelessly, your walls keep dragging me in, your head falls into my shoulder, you're giving into me, fading into me, and it's me time now, I finally get to give you what I wanted since the beginning, make sweet and honest love to you, my hands on your thighs I keep driving your body against mine, I gently bounce you on me lap just to get you to stay up again, you're eyes are shutting, your mouth is falling open again.

"Look at me" I order, and you do what I tell you to do, you look at me towards your end, I hope you can read it in my eyes, I hope you can feel how warm the flesh is, how my eyes, my brain, and heart have no space for anyone else but you, how mad you've made me, I'm obsessed, and I'm not going to lie to myself about it anymore, I don't want to just use you, I hope you can see that, but if you can't, I hope this is enough for you to understand it, my eyes big and dilated for you, my body feels so stiff, it's overwhelming, "You're so beautiful, love"

"If you keep calling me that, you're gonna make me fall in love, Alex"

So I'll say it every single day for the rest of my life, you feel so good on me, your body fits into mine so perfectly, and I'm so close, and so are you, the flesh is tender, the flowers bloom, the sun rises and it's heat rains all over the world, and you and I bond together for one last time before your body crashes into mine, I make a mess, but that's a bit on purpose, "Ah, yes" You sigh into my ear as you let it rest on top of mine. I have the chance to clean your body once more, to clean you up with care and love, my touch is so gentle your body fills with goosebumps, "You really don't have to Alex" You put your hand on my hand, and I freeze, should I stop? Am I making you uncomfortable?

"Sorry... if I'm doing too much" Your eyebrows push together and before I can get away you drag me back by my wrist and smile at me. What do you think of me?

"No, I'm just..." You sigh, you're troubled by your thoughts, "Not used to the 'aftercare' part that's all, you know, sex for us girls... it's not like we see it in films, or read in books, maybe I don't have that magic to turn a beast into a prince, and... I just I dunno, I don't feel weird... you make me feel special, normally, they just leave" Are you... maybe falling for me?

I smile at you, my thumb grazes your cheek softly, "I'm a man, and I'm messy but I just don't like doing that there's an attraction, and if we have sex, unless you ask me to leave I'll leave" I put away the paper towels in the trash, and when I come back I find you waiting for me with my shirt on your body.

"Well, if that's the case" My heart pumps one thousand miles per hour, I feel I'm entering a trance, about to puke my intestines out if you ask me to leave, "You don't mind staying?"

Fuck yeah! "Not at all" I try to keep me cool but I just can't, my heart betraying as I lay down with you.

After we finally had the chance to close our eyes, the sun peeks through the curtains of your windows, the sky painted orange and ocean blue, you smile at me, and you get back up from our little love nest that was the settee, you're quick to find the vinyl with the song we were listening together, the song we kissed to, the perfect song to watch the sunrise.

"Come with me!" I've never heard you so excited before, you run to the kitchen and fetch my boxers from the ground, and I'm a bit troubled by the thought of me wearing my jeans with no underwear but I do nevertheless because I would kill to see you like that every single day.

I cover my body with my coat, and you grab my hand, we run out of your house, and we go through this tiny little white gate, into a garden covered in green chasmophyte, that's the place where the flowers bloom in little boxes of dirt, the perfect place to see the sun, the perfect place to hide, to dream in, it's wonderful, you pull out a chair for me in this old rusty table, you find place to put your music and we listen to Call It Fate Call It Karma as the sun rises from the horizon, I pull you to my lap, wrapping your legs around my arms and hum the song to your ear, the birds are chirping, and the sun warms us from the once oh so cold night.

"You're a lovely singer," You say to my ear, I was never one to watch sunrises, I haven't done that since I was 17, and now with my busy life, I finally get to taste this little piece of paradise that you've given me.

"Not as good as you, bunny" You kiss my nose with a big smile, and I take out from my jeans a box of cigarettes and my old zippo, you set on my smoke, and you love to play with my zippo as your hands run through my naked skin, you love playing with fire, don't you? I just hope someday, you don't get burned in the fire of my love.

A/N

Anon, I want to kiss you. You don't know for how long I've been trying to figure out how to write this chapter, I had to watch You again but it was totally worth it, so thank you!

[venuscxre]

⌞ 𝐇𝐄𝐘 𝐋𝐎𝐕𝐄𝐑 ; 𝐓𝐑𝐈𝐒𝐓𝐀𝐍 𝐋𝐈𝐎𝐍𝐄𝐒 ⌝

summary ; boyfriend!tristan x giant gf!reader headcannons.

request ; “ can I request tristan liones bf hcs with a gf who’s a giant and king and diane’s adoptive daughter? ” — anon

pairing ; tristan / fem giant!reader

tags ; fluff, established relationship.

notes ; a tristan request this time around!!

𝐜𝐚𝐭𝐚𝐥𝐨𝐠

tristan is just like his daddy, always somehow attracting women that are taller than him by far.

tristan is an incredibly gentle boyfriend, and if you’re anything like your adoptive mother, diane, your constant mood changes are capable of giving a man whiplash. tristan, however, is well versed in keeping his girl happy at all times.

he tries not to show it often, but he’s incredibly smitten with how much stronger you are and loves it when you’re at your full height rather than when you shrink down. he’s proud of you and if anyone tries to make it seem that your relationship is weird, he’ll damn near turn into a tyrant.

tristan is so male wife coded. he’s always making you little things or getting small trinkets that remind him of you and always surprises you with your favourite foods and snacks. oh, you’re eyeing down a nice looking dress? he’s getting it for you and scouring the ends of the world to find a mage who can make sure that you have another version that enters you at full size. oh, you want a crepe or something else that’s sweet? he’s buying out the entire stand. he loves his girl and will do everything in his power to spoil her.

naturally, as a knight of the apocalypse, he can’t be with you as long as you’d like, but if you give him something to hold onto as a way to remember you, he’s never taking it off. he’ll use it to brag about when he’s away for long term missions. random people that you don’t even know will have more information on you that most of the people you do know. why? because your boyfriend doesn’t know when to shut up about you.

you both have definitely gotten embarrassed by your parents since they’re very close to each other. diane and elizabeth will pull out picture albums from when you both were infants and will make sure to provide context on each one. king and meliodas just watch from the sidelines in amusement as their wives turn their children into blushing messes.

your siblings are very protective of you at first but since it’s tristan, they learn to warm up a little more. they treat him like one of you guys after he expressed how lonely he is as an only child. (cue meliodas teasing elizabeth with an “we should make him another sibling so he’s less lonely.” she smacks him after that.)

tristan knows how sensitive of a topic it is for you whenever someone mentions how you’re adopted. you’re well aware that your parents love you as if you’re actually one of their own, but whenever someone points out you’re adopted just to bring you down, you get all sad and disappear for hours on end which really worries him. he knows you like to be left alone during those times and when you get back, his and your family have a nice dinner laid out comprising of all your favourite foods, that he cooked, to make you feel better.

tristan is a mama’s boy, so he knows just what a woman likes or dislikes and can get the hint on certain things that most guys miss, that makes him really popular with the girls, much to your dismay. he knows you get jealous really easily and always makes it a point to assure you that you're the only girl in his life.

we all know that there’s a bit of a tension between tristan and lancelot as well as tristan and his father. whenever he gets in a mood, he likes to have you cuddle him up in your full height. he likes to be enveloped in you when he's upset.

tristan loves to kiss you, especially when you’re in your full height. he’ll summon his wings and kiss all over your face, muttering an “i love you,” in between each one. and when your soft lips completely smother his face in response? he’s so happy he could fly to the sun. he's absolutely and completely whipped for you.

lancelot may be a more nonchalant, reserved and mischievous lover, but tristan is more open and gentle with his affections. but one thing's for sure; they love their partners.

overall, tristan is a great boyfriend! 10/10 would date :33!!

© 𝐕𝐄𝐍𝐔𝐒𝐂𝐗𝐑𝐄; plagiarism, retranslation or reposts of my works is completely unauthorized.

likes, comments and reblogs are appreciated. <33

[bastardtrait]

Scooter Legacy 2020 - generations 1-9

ya know, I was gonna make individual posts about the old generations of this save, since they're coming here from their old home on dreamwidth, but I'm really lazy so we'll just go with the one. a primer post. why not.

for a bit of background, I started this save in the middle of the start of the pandemic, right after completing another legacy, and I blasted through this thing in like, 2 years? I had never felt so fuckin productive. let’s ignore the fact that stopped playing for 1.25 years after generation 8 though. okay.

to the shock of nobody, each colour-coded generation had some story that eventually just devolved into pure gameplay. listen when i tell you i'm a one trick fuckin pony, i mean it. here's what happened:

Generation 1: Percy Scooter and Sebastian Park. my founders. Percy was the sheltered only child of a rich old Chinese woman who hired Sebastian to be her butler and personal service worker. awkward enemies to lovers plot ensues. they had 2 kids: Ollie (who died as a child) and Josie.

fun fact: I was looking at my timeline and it makes perfect sense that Percy's mother, Francie Chen, would've been the younger sister of Chen Ruiyang (Lucky Legacy). they even had the same last name. so I made that canon. duh.

Generation 2: Josie Scooter and Matangi Silva. childhood friends. Mat left town to become a vet, and Josie tracked him down to continue their fledgling romance they had as teenagers. they also had a fuck ton of animals, one of which was the iconic Mayor Whiskers. they had 1 kid: Randy.

Generation 3: Randy Scooter and Collin Pix. Randy, Collin and Ripp Grunt from TS2 were roommates at a college that psychologically broke down students before selling them to aliens for Nefarious purposes. it was kind of a lot. they ran away to Sulani and had 3 kids: Willow, Xander and Landon.

Generation 4: Landon Scooter and Toro Katalunan. childhood friends that reunited as adults that tackled off the grid living together. their friendship and eventual romance persisted through awkward misunderstandings and island ghosts. they had two children: Kai and Sully.

Generation 5: Sully Scooter and Ori Delgado. Ori guided Sully through the jungle in the search of a cure for the genetic condition they were born with (I also brought this up during my flop reclaimed roots legacy). kissing ensued. they had three children: Luca, Brianna, and Damián.

side note: I also started a side story about the Strangerville mystery that coincides with this generation. this family went on to spawn Dakota Dinh, co-founder of the Lucky Legacy. it's all circular y'know?

Generation 6: Damián Scooter and Hari Rotan. I fucking hated this generation because it was Eco Lifestyle. I don't remember the story and I don't want to. they had two kids: Laila and Yasmin.

Generation 7: Laila Scooter and Kawahara Koichi. Laila, a giant fucking twat, goes to university and makes enemies with everyone except the anti-social weirdo that loves robotics. then they terrorised Evergreen Harbour together. they had one child: Xavier, who they sorta neglected ngl lmfao

Generation 8: Xavier Scooter and Fayrouz al-Dimashqi. my FAVOURITE! generation. Xavier, a traumatised individual, moves to San My and has his icy heart opened up by the warm and welcoming Fayrouz. unfortunately, he died before his time, leaving Fayrouz a widow. they had one child: Kaleb.

Generation 9: Kaleb Scooter and Natasha Deleon. Kaleb and his gf Jaesha, family vloggers, are pressured into a wedding for their viewers, which is being planned by Natasha, Kaleb's childhood friend. they run away together from Kaleb's livestreamed wedding. they had three kids: Aaron, Evan, and Naomi.

which leads us to where we are today, with Naomi and Taryn forming Generation 10, and Dexter about to launch Generation 11. let's see where this goes next!

[firyfox]

Not to mention the way Cyril is kinda sexualized in archers dreams sometimes ? Like .. season 8 Archer chooses to strip him down just for funsies , and is then ambushed by him having a giant dick with Pam also emphasizing this fact , and season 9 also shows him nude a couple times & emphasizes his dick size - plus season 10 has an odd out of nowhere ass shot of Cyril in the tight space suit ?? 😭🤚🏼 as well as some phallic symbols like the tunic in the arena ep & Cyril getting the giant gun held at waist height - also season 10 archer jokes that Cyril has definitely been to gay sex parties and in season 8 he imagines Cyril exclaiming "for the love of COCKS!" which is funny to me like .. we get it u want him to be gay with u .. also Alistair getting to know Archer really well & then saying that he talks about Cyril more than anyone else .. again , more than his ex gf & the mother of his child who he's in love with lmao

so archer's pysche based on his coma (cyril focused)

not to be back on my cyril and archer are obsessed with each other ordeal but im just now thinking about how its kinda odd the representation of cyril in his dreams versus the other characters.

i would say that the representation of the characters in his dream seasons is pretty indicative of his thoughts and attitudes towards them. ie mom is overbearing yet distant; pam serves as his best friend and confidant; lana is the one that got away yet theyre drawn to one another; cheryl is a crazy motherfucker; ray is just kinda there and comedic figure; krieger is basically just krieger

but the depiction of cyril is crazyyy . i mean literally but also contextually. while subconsciously trying to emasculate him as usual ,, he kinda also makes him the big bad of 2/3 seasons and therefore unintentionally emphasizes the importance of their dynamic/relationship. and despite the fact that we're supposed to believe from archer that cyrils relationship with lana was not a perceived threat in 2/3 seasons cyril still has a sexual relationship with lana. i think its also interesting how cyril goes from this essentially laughable villian in seasons 8 and 9 to a closer representation of his actual proximity to archer in season 10

AND season 10 is kinda the season thats supposed to get us to transition into believing okay so this is why archer suddenly wants to reconfess to lana . like coincidence that in the season where we're supposed to care about lana and archer in a romantic context again suddenly cyril plays less of a role ? think again

i mean alister who while clearly studied up on cyril and archer somehow comes to the conclusion that they're best friends,, so i mean thats canon enough that they occupy far too much of each other's frontal lobe

also like at the beginning of season 11 when it was no longer in fashion to really make fun of cyril and the fact that kinda cyril had seemingly moved on from his archer obsession (clearly very short lived escape) archer could not even like cope or fathom it .

in conclusion : fellas is it gay to obsess about another man so much that your subconscious makes him a main character in your head even in a coma ? a larger role than the ex you're in love with ?

[dinogoofy]

I'm back darling~ this time I'd love sth for Cassie & her female bestie 😁 bc the xmas is near so Imma give u these prompts: 'I’m a grown adult. I don’t want to take a picture with Santa Claus', 'Hey, want to help me get my parents off my ass about not having a date?'. Have a good day!

Had a ton of fun with this one, hope you enjoy!!!

Cassie Cage x F! Reader

Meeting the parents- I mean, meeting Santa.

----

It was a cold, quiet morning in your apartment. You were enjoying a warm cup of coffee in the early hours, a cheezy hallmark move playing on your TV as you try to work yourself into the holiday spirit. It had been a long year. Your phone dings once, but you ignore it, too focused on who was going to marry Santa. When it kept going off you finally checked it with a sigh.

Cassie-lassy

Hey

Hey, can I ask a favor?

Stop watching Christmas movies and answer me

Cassie was your best friend, but you weren't sure if you liked where this was going.

How did you even know that?

Anyway, whats up?

My parents are throwing a Christmas party this week and are hounding my ass about a date.

And?

Do u think u could pretend to be my gf, just for a day? Just to get them to leave me alone.

You almost choked on your coffee when you read the text. Damn, hallmark movie coming true? Your heart fluttered a bit. Cassie was your best friend. You didn't have feelings for her! That was ridiculous. All she needed was a... friend-to-friend favor. Plus, her dad was super rich, they were totally going to have good food.

Sure, when?

Uh, today good?

The lack of planning was exactly what you should've expected from Cassie. You laughed and drug your hands across your face, she was so lucky that you had the day off.

Bleh, ok. Ur dad better have some good food.

U bet ur ass! Pick u up at 6.

You laughed, and slowly picked yourself off the couch. You hoped that you still had an ugly sweater somewhere in your closet.

The time flew by unfortunately fast. You were rushing to gather your things as Cassie at outside in her 1965 red stingray corvette, (with a mako body) you loved that car so much. You couldn't help but geek out everytime you see it, but alas, there was definitely no time for that today. You frantically locked your apartment as you ran down the steps.

"Sorry I'm late!" Cassie laughed as you got in the car, and that awful flutter feeling returned. Oh no. This is not happening.

"Its chill, I doubt Dad will care if we're late to his party anyway." Your eye twitched, smile still wide on your face. You liked to be on time no matter where you were going, and by the look she was giving you you knew that Cassie said that just to annoy you. You rolled your eyes at her as she took off, the rumble of the car's engine instantly calming you.

Damn. You had never seen a house that big. As Cassie rolled through the big gates you continued to gawk at the beautiful architecture.

"I knew your dad was rich but, seeing how rich he is... is..."

"I know right? He moves into a new house almost every 6 months almost. Each one is bigger then the last one." You felt light headed just imagining how it must feel to have so much money. By the time Cassie parked and the two of you walked to the big doors, you could hear people loud and clear inside the house. This was way different then the tiny little Christmas reunions you were used too.

"I might throw an arm around you and call you nicknames a bit to make it seem legit, are you ok with that? I'm already asking a lot by getting you to come with me in the first place, the last thing I want is for you to be uncomfortable." You laughed.

"Cassie it's fine, all that comes with the 'pretend girlfriend' package." She sighs in relief, knocking on the door.

"Just making sure."

The door opens after a few moments, Cassie's mother answering the door, delighted at the sight.

"Cassie you made it just in time! Your dad just got his Ninja Santa costume out of storage. You should- oh, who is this?" You shyly waved, face flushing more from the situation than the cold. You were glad you were already blushing when Cassie links her fingers through your own.

"Mom, this is my girlfriend." Her mom's face lights up, but you would be lying if you said her obvious military posture and build didn't intimidate you. You introduced yourself and shook her hand with your free hand, making sure to shake with a firm grip.

"Its great to meet you. I was wondering when Cassie was going to bring someone home." Cassie sighed, pinching the bridge of her nose as you awkwardly laughed. Her mom, Sonya, invited the two of you in. Your jaw almost dropped at the inside of the house.

The house was incredibly decorated. Wreaths, lights, an army of elves on the shelves, everything you could think of that spoke Christmas. A giant buffet on the right side of the room and a giant tree in the center of it all.

"Holy shit Cas," you wispered, she giggled squeezing your hand.

"I know right. They overdo it every year."

The rest party was amazing. You met many of Cassie's friends and family friends from the special forces. Kids were livey and running around the place. Even though the mansion and beautiful and intimidating, everything seemed to speak family to you. Every once in a while you would catch Cassie staring at you, but she would always wave you off, face flushing. It couldn't be an actual blush though, this was all an act, right?

"Ho ho ho, Ninja Butt-kicker Santa Claus has arrived!" A voice boomed from the center of the room. Adults laughed while children screamed with delight, booking it towards the gaint tree. Cassie sighed in embarrassment.

"I was beginning to wonder when dad would show up." You tried hard not to laugh when you dragged her to the middle of the room, catching a glimpse of her dad's "holiday spirit".

Kids hopped on his lap one by one, telling him what they want for Christmas, and (probably thanks to their parents,) each one was giving the wanted present and a fake ninja-star. You had thought every child was given a present and taken a picture, so surely he was going to "retire" for the night, right?

"Ho ho ho, Santa thinks that one, special little girl has yet to take a picture." He looked straight at Cassie and winked. She immediately recoiled.

"No. No no no. I'm a grown adult, I don't want to take a picture with Santa Claus." Everyone chuckled around the two of you. And Sonya walked over to push her into the center of the room with her dad, camera firm in her hands. Cassie sent an embarrassed look your way as she was forced to sit on Santa's lap.

"And what would you like for Christmas Cassie Cage?" Cassie looked like she wanted to melt away form her spot. Only answering because she had to.

"I don't want anything Da- Santa." Her Dad let out another Jolly, fake laugh.

"Sure you do! Santa knows everything, you know!" He hands her a small box, and winks at her.

"You know what Santa wants for Christmas? Grandkids." The crowd laughed, and your face immediately flushed a dark red, Cassie almost looking the same way. She covered her face as she hopped off her Dad's lap and speedwalked back to you without even opening the box.

The rest of the party went by so fast, and before you knew it, the two of you were walking back to her car in the cold.

"This was a ton of fun cas," She laughed, you wondered if she knew that you were still holding hands.

"Yeah, I'm glad you came with me. Sorry if my parents were a little overbearing." You shrugged, letting her know that it was fine. The silence after was unbearable. You wondered for a moment if you should ask her out. The party was nice, really nice, but it was honestly just because you were 'pretending' to be her girlfriend. You think she might've thought so too. You opened your mouth to speak, but she beat you to it.

"Hey, so, what if we made this whole... 'fake girlfriend' thing, a 'real girlfriend' thing?" You blushed, giving her hand a comforting squeeze.

"I think I'd like that." Her face lit up with a smile, squeezing your hand back. She stuck her hand in her pocket, and looked surprised for a moment, stopping in her tracks to pull out the box from earlier.

"I forgot about this thing."

"Mabye you should open it?" She let go off your hand to gingerly untie the bow, taking the lid off the box and tucking it underneath it. Her face flushed.

"It's mistletoe." Your face flushed in return. So thats what he ment. Cas started to nervously mumble something, closing the lid on the box, but you held a hand over hers before she put it away.

She instantly kissed back when you leaned in to complete the tradition. The gentle moonlight kiss becoming the only Christmas miracle you needed.

You were definitely living in a hallmark movie.

[chaneajoyyy]

Do you know any plus size reader black panther fics?

I sure do!!!

PLUS SIZE READER X T’CHALLA

- golden girl, fingers dipped in gold series, early morning concerts, do it, a single prick series, singing lessons, lose that attitude, i’ve been going, his sixth sense, nice & comfortable, three kings of dreams, you may, comfortable, possibly, up and alert- @supersizemeplz

- family isn’t always everything, t’challa dealing wth his s/o having guardianship of her little bro, you and t’challa had a really bad breaku but he sees you at an event?, group text: date, in my feelings, t’challa after a hard day funning wakanda, “lemme show you how much i love you”, group chat: plans for tonight, love through tragedy, my apologies my queen, “choose”, lazy days (includes m’baku)- ��@plussizeappreciationfics (search: tchalla and tchalla x reader)

-anonymous series, gentle giant series, the twisted ones, selfless series, all the stars series- @cassidyconner

- how the guys for the avengers would react to being twerked on (includes t’challa);  imagine you decided to post a sunbathing picture for instagram, knowing your husband, the king of wakanda will see. everything goes smooth until erik killonger decides to give you a lil too much attention. he ends up learning not to mess with the queen (fake social media au); imagine t’chala and his queen are execting their first child. the world is overy joyed by the little bundle of joy, imagine it ‘s halloween and you decide to dress up as your idol sorm leaving the entire internet shook (fake social media au), imagine it’s your anniversary with your boyfreind t’challa and he surprises you with a trip to the most beautiful beach you’ve ever seen- @papi-chulo-bucky (search: tchalla)

- headcanons: short reader, king of spring, hot cheetos, rays of sunshine, pineapple princess, your highness, jealousy- @littlemessyjessi

- cats, why series, enough for now, jealousy headcanon, lingerie headcanon, nsfw headcanon, kinks headcanon, dom/sub headcanon, height headcanons- @madamslayyy

- queen by spring series, “i have a right to what is mine”, t’challa is straight up missing you, t’challa needs to feel your finger in his hair, imagine t’challa helping you find more peace by bringng you into meditation, wakanda now bath salt baths and tantric sex; your favorite physical aspect of t’challa is his mouth, t’challa and m’baku both like gap tooth play but t’challa like to run it along the outer lips while m’baku likes to work it over the nipples (includes m’baku and sam wilson); cater, matchmakers, show me, to our bedroom (search t’challa x reader)-  @brownsugarcocoabutterwildflowers

-miles apart series-  @eriksjournal

- t’challa with his first bbw- @sisterwifeudaku

- he spills series @captainsaveasmut (includes m’baku and erik)

- where are we?, the wakandan boys when the’re sick (includes erik and m’baku) - @sonofnjobu

- al fics- @eerythingisshaka

- learn ya series- @wakandaforeverwrites

- let’s play- @wakandamama

PLUS SIZE READER X M’BAKU 

- all m’baku fics- @plussizeappreciationfics

- your cherries, wakandan events & natural charisma series, love berries, ain’t got no time, shadows in the closet, tamed, change in schedule, big baby, intersting theories, why?, forever my chieftess, three kings of dreams, long days and longer nights, i wouldn’t mind- @supersizemeplz

- gaining favor- @littlemessyjessi

- healing gardens series, it’s complicated series, extra credit series, coming home series (includes what’s for dinner?), warrior spirit, diplomatic affiars, fading away, gemini rising: birthday edition, just business series-  @jellybean531

- work from home series, fever series- @mbakusthrone

- warm colors series- @mermaidchansons

- a special visit- @yaachtynoboat711

- tradition series, mr. stamina, truth or dare series, give it to me, the garden,, princess, 2 hours, i’m right here, the wakandan boys when they’re sick (includes erik and t’challa), would you rather-  @sonofnjobu

-chieftess, giving m’baku a lapdance, t’challa and m’baku likes gap tooth play (inclues t’challa and sam wilson), tradition, watch-  @brownsugarcocoabutterwildflowers (scroll for m’baku x reader)

- an m’big surprise- @pastelastronomy24

- and i you, my love; hands, his girl, untitled, you are mine- @marvelmaree

- v.i.p (includes erik), you owe her an apology, no i can’t take a break, scraped m’baku headcanon, m’baku titty worship headcanon, whipped headcanon, the prince seires, is this love? series (ncludes m’baku) (with don’t be scared)- @madamslayyy

- fated instinct series, cabin in the snow series, whipped cream a la m’baku-  @greennightspider

- brown skin, oh angel, forever mine, best baba ever, the heat of trinidad series- @artisticestheticreads

- forget his name, our love in color series, a well deserved rest series, have it your way series, satisfied, another heir, what would you have me do? series, full body- @wakandan-flowerz

- crown royal on ice, two left feet, just for tonight series- @ghostfacekill-monger

- all fics- @eerythingisshaka

- all fics- @muse-of-mbaku

- mother may i series- @wakandaforeverwrites

- sweet thang series, the best part, bow to me- @wakandamama

PLUS SIZE READER X ERIK

- how i feel, right now, animal, chains series, purple herbs & gardens, risks & new beginnings series, better with time, let’s play, without a doubt, sizzling pans & slow jams, misinterpretations, visions of gold, out business, come through and chill series, nights, slow burn, a siren’s allure, venom, the one, maybe they’re right, sore loser series, i’ll be alright, spooky cookies & vampire fangs, screams in the night series; knock, knock series; imagination, the cure series, poptart man series, this must be our song, conversation starter, heaven is a place on earth, twins?, say it, i’m there, his princess, his for the night, sugar baby series, authority series, baby shark, lemme try, take our time, say the word, sudden reunions series, memories of you, more ways than one, lemme try it again (that’s my face), not in budget, i would like to see it, pease mama bear, she likes me, guess what, times like these, tell me your secret series, he gets it from me, baby see baby do, see what had happened was, who me?, so relax, three kings of dreams, deck the b-…halls?, do it again, be quiet, you so crazy, how that sound?, you’re so handsome, sit still, leave me aloneee, don’t hide, or maybe, send it to mommy, but i’m sick.., you thought i wouldn’t find out, he’d make you his, ballet baba, ain’t that right?, he wasn’t having that, being honest, that’s all it took?, then stop ignoring me, since you can, but i thougth…, jealous, i won’t tell you again series, hit me, no reply, i’ve alway been, you sure?, no more tummy time, toss ‘em, you done now?, sing it baby, doped up, battle it out, for however long, bath time, bedtime stories, i’m sorry, was that so hard?, i owe you that, whatchu say?, hard headed, it should’ve been you, take our time series, baba’s day, whatever she wants, nope, can’t even look at you, not again, nose wide oen, just a bit longer, come on over to my place, fences & bullriders- @supersizemeplz

- all erik fics and headcanons- @nahimjustfeelingit-writes

- all erik fics and headcanons- @eye-raq

- teach me series, when you’re mad series, waffles series, slow ride series, movie night series, let’s talk about sex series, mines, thunderstorm, girl fuck you, eat your breakfast seres (with eat your dinner), secret admirer, amusement park fun, displays of affection, night at the movie theaters, silent hearbeats series, kissing strangers series, worship, loving the way you love it, day drunk, smile for me daddy series, just like you, we goin to hell, breeding time- @thehomierobbstark

- refuge series, champion series, soft series, all dadmonger fics, erik’s getting soft series, erik and his princess, erik’s afraid of live, erik takes care of his sick princess, erik witha shy girl, erik’s created a monster series, afraid of heights, erik loves to spoil you, you want it rough, t’challa’s trusted advisor, first kiss, the legend series, you hurt erik, i love you, erik backslides, the proposal, daddy, accountability, noral, kinky, foolproof, erik ad your burn marks, erik helps you do pole fitness, i do, first date, erik teasing his short gf, erik cuts his hair- @killmongersgurl

- late again, halloween party, imprint, a man in love, v.i.p (includes m/baku), daddy’s home, y’all again?, okay? okay, prisoner of love, family cookout, kiss, what’s cooking good looking, expecting headcanons, food headcanons, crying headcanons, nsfw headcanons, foot fetish series, halloween headcanons, lingerie headcanons, jealous headcanons, kevin’s  heart series, untitled series- @madamslayyy

-carnal stimulation series, next lifetime series, hoe ass erik series, dirty little secrets series, hennything is possible, sunday dinner series (with payback), a.d.i.d.a.s., green goddess, suddenly stevens, beauty is her name, it’s complicated. i’m sorry, the great reveal, neighbors know my name series (part 2 to @hearteyes-for-killmonger‘s story of the same name), the devil speaks xosha, mile high, trap card, act up, let me smell it, up late, i’ll take your man, carry on, dreams & nightmares- @goddessofthundathighs

- headass youtube couple series, fix my crown series, all skate, cutting ties series, #tsrbaewatch,  @apantherinmypastlife

- all erik fics-  @wawakanda-btch

- all fics- @hearteyes-for-killmonger

- say my name series, beg for it, the coat room, charley horse, full court press, house party, boyfriend makeup challenge, gumby, the let out series, disorderly, token, all i wanted for christmas is you, hit the showers, neo, erica; veni, vidi, vici, i will be here, trick or treat, the wakandan boys when they’re sick (includes t’challa and m’baku)- @sonofnjobu

- mine, unravel me series (includes belong to you), i missed you series (inlcudes you a’ight and if they ain’t looking), rated e, on braodway, no average bitch,  @brownsugarcocoabutterwildflowers (scroll for erik killmonger x reader and erik killmonger imagine)

- all tasting mellow fics- @tastingmellow

- laid up series- @pastelastronomy24

- come lay with me, house hunting series, stretch marks, the footbal jerseyy, you sure?- @marvelmaree

- the deal series, nuggest of truth, girlfriend, all i want is you, care for you- @wakandamama

- rated e for extra petty, elbow deep series- @puffmamaa

- she got game, where’s the smoke, s.d.m., from paris with love, where the hoes at? (with t’challa and m’baku), written all over your face, baby bump series (wit cuddle buddy,, and hc: chubby!erik trying old clothes), not in that way, here kitty kitty, computer blue series, chunk series- @ghostfacekill-monger

- all erik fics- @stripper-patrick

- he spills series (with t’chala and m’baku)- @captainsaveasmut

- i’m cleva series, do me baby (part 2 of @killmongersgurl‘s serieserik’s created a monste)-, @killmongerdispussy

- sorry he’s gone, mad issues series, curiosity happy weight- @curls-and-crosses

- nah baby i got you- @inxan-ity (scroll for erik killmonger)

- all fics- @writerbee-ffs

- paragone series- @dynastynoire

- all fics- @eriksjournal

- the sweetest taste series, late night drive- two of a kind series (includes ‘03 bonnie and clyde prequel), beyond the lights series, mad love series- @wakandaforeverwrites

- all erik fics and headcanons- @plussizeappreciationfics

-thanksgiving w/ mr. stevens and the udakus series (with valentine’s gumbo),  @mermaidchansons

- all erik fics- @muse-of-mbaku

- all fics- @eerythingisshaka

- all fics- @artisticestheticreads

*I AM GONNA START YOU HERE!! I KNOW I’M MISSING PEOPLE. SO IF YOU AND/OR SOMEONE YOU KNOW WRITES PLUS SIZE READER X BP CHARACTERS PLEASE HIT ME UP!!**

[surveys-at-your-service]

Survey #344

“my whole existence is flawed”

Have you ever thought about becoming a crime scene investigator? No. Do you think you could win on Jeopardy? Not at all. What do you normally call your mother? (mommy, mom, mother, mum, etc.) Usually "Mom" or "Ma," sometimes "Mama." Does your significant other complain about the way you dress? I'm single, but I would never tolerate an s/o who complained about/told me how to dress. Like bye, fuck you. Have you ever been in an abusive relationship? Are you right now? No, thankfully. What would you do if a stranger smacked your ass and whistled? They're getting fucking punched. In the face. Do you know anyone who has died from cancer? Multiple people. Ever have to call the cops on someone? Not me personally, but my sister did while I was in the car with her due to a clearly drunk as fuck driver. Are you comfortable enough around your friends to change in front of them? Hell no, I avoid changing even in front of my mother. Have you ever dated someone in secret? Dated, no. But Joel and I were a secret. What’s something you really want right now, be honest? What I really want right now is a job. What are you listening to right now? A slowed-down with reverb version of "Closer" by In This Moment. It's p hot. Do you still have your tonsils? Yes. What confuses you most? Why terrible things can happen to the most undeserving of people. Have you ever been called a bad influence? Yes. Not like she was a good one whatsoever. What's the weirdest compliment you've ever received? I don't know, really. Have you ever thought you could 'save' someone? No. It's funny, apparently Jason thought I could "save" him, and would'ja look at that, he scarred me for life. Do you prefer weed or cigs? I've never smoked either, but at least weed has benefits, so. What do your parents say about smoking? Well, my dad smokes like a chimney, but he does tell my sisters and me to absolutely never start it. Mom is very firm about us not smoking. She'd probably be heartbroken if any of us started. Do like kissing with tongue or without? I mean, that depends on the mood as well as how serious we are. What show is hilarious to you? That '70s Show absolutely cracks me up. Who last made you upset? My Dad and stepmom, ranting about how the Covid vaccine is being forced on us and is dangerous. I'm very much for it and am getting it myself soon, so I was just like... shut the fuck up. I just kept my lips zipped, but by god did I want to say something. Does he/she usually upset you? I sometimes regret having my stepmom on Facebook because of her shitty political views, but she in general doesn't upset me. I love her, really. Dad doesn't upset me, really. What would your parents do if you got a tattoo? They don't care, especially knowing how much I love them. What is your favorite musical? None. Do you have any interest in visiting Japan? Yeah, though I don't think it's something I'd go out of my way to do. If I had the opportunity though, I'd surely go. I would love to take photos there, and it's this odd desire of mine to visit Aokigahara Forest and just walk along the "safe" paths and just... feel it. I don't want to find any bodies because I think that would shatter me, I just want to allow myself to like, drown in empathy for all those that left their lives in those trees. I feel like I'd cry a LOT, because I'd prefer to do it alone and just talk to whoever may be able to hear from wherever they are now, and just let them know they're not forgotten or abandoned and that they were never alone. This is honestly getting me really emotional so I'm moving onto the next question. But in summary, I feel like it could honestly be a life-changing experience. What is your favorite Japanese name? I like A LOT of Japanese names I've heard, but they're all evading me now. Do you ever listen to Jpop? No. Who do you go to for advice? Mom or Sara. Have you ever ran a cash register? Yeah, when I worked at the dollar store. Have you ever worked as a server? No. Did you collect Bratz dolls when you were younger? I didn't collect them, no, but I shared a few with my sister. Do you think your mom is attractive? I think my mom's beautiful. Her smile especially puts gold to shame. She actually kinda broke down the other day because she thought she was ugly, and it just broke my damn heart. Do you like the feeling in your stomach on a big drop on a roller coaster? I've never been on a roller coaster and don't plan to try one, but I reeeaaally don't like that feeling in any situation. What is your most severe allergy? Pollen. How and when were you baptized, if applicable? I was baptized as a baby the traditional Catholic way. Would you rather paint or carve a pumpkin? I think carving is more fun. Have you ever walked through a haunted house? One that was part of a Halloween attraction, yeah. What computer game did you used to play all the time? I played lots as a kid, but my favorite had to be I Spy: Spooky Mansion. My lil sis and I were obsessed. How do you feel about Motorhead? I don't love them, but I do enjoy some of their songs. I never thought Lemmy was that great of a vocalist, but I respect him as an artist and hope he rests in peace. What’s the weirdest way you’ve ever pulled a muscle? *shrugs* What’s your favorite symbol? (i.e. the pentagram, the cross, etc.) If we're talking only real-world symbols and not ones that only exist in fantasy media, I actually think the Satanic (no, not inverted) cross is a cool design. It has nothing to do with my stance on Satanism, I just think it's an appealing look. What methods are most effective for you when you’re trying to relax? If I REALLY need relaxation, just leave me alone and let my put on earplugs and just like, disappear from the real world for a bit. Would you rather date your opposite, your ‘twin’, or someone in between? Someone in-between, I think. More similar to me though would be preferred versus someone that's my opposite. How many videos do you have favorited on your YouTube account? I think I'm actually at the max? I think they just get replaced with newer ones by now. Do you know anyone who has carpal tunnel syndrome? Me, actually. My older sister does, too, and actually had surgery for it. Which do you prefer: M&M’s, Skittles, or Reese’s Pieces? Reese's Pieces, but I love all three. If you could be the sidekick of a superhero which superhero would you pick? If I was Spiderman's sidekick, could I throw webs and zing around like a monkey too? ;_; I think being Batman's sidekick would be pretty cool too, seeing as to my knowledge he's more about stealth, which would be fun to go along with. Do you think that you could ever win a food eating contest? No fucking way. They gross me the hell out. What is your favorite thing about the country you live in? How much freedom we have here. Although, it can definitely be abused, and some people do abuse it... Have you ever snuck somebody into your house? No. Have you ever snuck into somebody else’s house? No. Honestly, have you ever thrown garbage out of the window of a car? No, and you fucking repulse me if you do. It is not that challenging to hold onto your shit until you get out of the car and find a trashcan. Honestly, have you ever stuck gum under a table or desk? No, that shit is disgusting. Just get your lazy ass up and spit it out. Which would you find more menacing: dinosaurs or dragons? Well, considering dragons can, you know, breathe fire... Can you name three different kinds of dinosaurs? Spinosaurus, allosaurus, stegosaurus. What’s the name of the last person you kissed? Sara. Is your heart broken at the moment? Nah. Who’s the last guy you argued with? I don't know. I avoid arguing with guys to the absolute best of my ability because I'm terrified of making them mad. What about the last girl? My mom. Would you marry the last person you kissed? Not at this current time, but later down the road of us both building ourselves up, I possibly would. Who’s the last person that asked you out? Girt. Out of all of your exes, who treated you the best? Sara. Who is the person you have hurt the most? My damn self. Who is the person that has hurt you the most? Jason. Do you hate the person you fell hardest for? It feels like it sometimes, but when it really comes down to it, no, I don't. Who was the last baby you held? My niece Emerson. Who’s the last guy to give you roses? Tyler. Did your parents do drugs when they were younger? My dad did quite a lot before us kids were born, apparently. I can guess pretty damn easily that Mom made him cut that shit out before having my sisters and me. Mom, to my knowledge, has never tried anything at all. Do you still talk to the person you lost your virginity to? No. Did you cry at your high school graduation? I remember I teared up slightly. What was the last non-papery substance you drew on? I have no idea. Do you ever name objects? (i.e. mp3 players, guitars, cars, etc.) No. What do you beat yourself up about the most? I'm 25 fucking years old and have never had a stable job or just felt "adult" in general. Which has hurt you more: friendship break-ups or bf/gf break-ups? The breakup with Jason, who was my boyfriend, so. What’s the most terrifying thing you’ve ever done? Gone to a mental hospital. The first time was so, so scary. What’s the highest fever you’ve ever had? I don't know. Have you ever been to the ER? Many times. Have you ever been mistreated by a cop? No. Have you ever experimented with any sort of witchcraft? No. Which animals are you afraid of? Some bugs and spiders, and whale sharks are a phobia of mine. I also find giant squid to be terrifying, but also very intriguing. Oh yeah, then there's my extreme aversion to maggots and similar larvae. Did you pray to God when you were a child? Usually. Mom raised us to, but some nights I slacked with it and just wanted to sleep. What is your favorite flavor of frosting? Maaan, don't make me choose. What color is your skin naturally? Very pale. Do you own a pocketknife, or any other kind of multi-tool? No. What was the last thing you took a video of? I have no idea. I have no recordings on my phone, so. Have you ever been somewhere where you didn’t fluently speak the local language? No. Have you ever had famous neighbors? No. Do you have any medication that you keep with you at all times? Yeah, one of my anxiety meds. What are some things a house would need to have for you to purchase it? Besides the very obvious, mine has to have a dishwasher. I. HATE. Washing dishes by hand. Do you own a pet spider? No, but I DESPERATELY want some tarantulas. :( I've tried convincing her, but Mom's very adamant about the fact I will NOT own one so long as I live with her. I also love jumping spiders and attempted to convince her about one of those versus a tarantula, but still, answer's a firm no, haha. Do you call your animals “baby names”? Well duh. Have you ever been stood up? No. Do you own a fishtank? No. Do you like the song “Barbie Girl”? God no. I'll sing it jokingly, though, because y'know, childhood and all. Do you own a feather boa? No. We did at one point, though. A hot pink one. Are you allergic to peanuts? No. Do you wear ribbons in your hair? No, my hair's too short for that. I never did, though. Do you use cheat codes on video games? I generally only use codes that you can actually earn in the game for like, new outfits or weapons in subsequent playthroughs. I won't use the kinds of codes that make you invulnerable and stuff, but rather just fun little cosmetics and such. Have you ever gone mudding on a fourwheeler? Ugh, no. I don't like getting dirty, so that is NOT my kind of fun. What is your favorite flavor Jolly Rancher? Watermelon. Have you ever played Dance Dance Revolution? Of course! We had the dance mat as kids and loved to play the games. What is the last thing you dropped? I don't really remember. Have you ever done the “Cupid Shuffle?” Yeah, at school dances and such. Do you know how to do the Soulja Boy dance? Haha omg, I did as a kid. My friend, sister, and I all learned it. How long has it been since you’ve eaten a Reese’s? My mom actually got me a Reese's egg for Easter, so not long ago at all.

[yaz-the-spaz]

Why is it shade, tho?? He could still post something. And his team must have allowed it to tweet. I hate that everything is so silent.

i mean take it how you want i guess but for someone who’s basically never on social media anymore to go out of their way to come back and randomly tweet about boxing of all things on a day that for most americans (like g) is meant to be all about celebrating mothers and motherhood and would have been the absolute PERFECT opportunity for him to post something about his supposed gf and her own alleged impending motherhood?? but instead not only does he continue to stay silent about g and the pregnancy but tweets about something completely unrelated lol? if that doesn’t scream fuck you to the hadids idk what does

i mean like forget your actual gender for a moment, nonnie, and (hypothetically) imagine you’re pregnant and all your friends, your family, everyone you know is talking about you and your significant other and your baby on the way. and then on a day that traditionally is meant to be all about celebrating you, your significant other--who up till now has stayed oddly completely silent on your relationship and the existence of your coming child to everyone around you all--randomly makes an announcement about sports instead of...idk...actually acknowledging you all’s relationship or your baby or what this day means for you specifically now that you’re about to be bringing you two’s child into the world. if that doesn’t seem at least a little bit odd to you then i guess we just see things differently but to me that is an extremely weird and shady thing to do

maybe his team approved it, maybe they didn’t...idk (although if they didn’t approve it, maybe they just didn’t delete it since it doubled nicely as good promo for the boxers he mentioned too)...but the fact is it’s a giant slap in the face imo to this whole pregnancy sitch

[teatitty]

Logan and His Weird Brood of Endless Children (A Comprehensive List)

I promised to do it so here it is at last! Logan has had many children over the years (24 at least!) and all in different continuities. For the sake of this list, I’m only including the children that are canonically his own and not the people he only acted as a father/mentor for (so no Jubilee, Rogue, Kitty or Armor). 

Honorary mention goes to Laura’s clones (especially Gabby) because they are technically Logan’s children but were cloned from Laura specifically instead (you’d think they’d be Laura’s kids but they canonically viewed her as their sister. The only one still alive is Gabby Kinney).

So! I’m doing this list in alphabetical order and I am going to include which Continuity they appear in. This is just a brief run-down of their origins and not the full history otherwise we’d be here for years.

1: Amiko Kobayashi (Earth 616)

Amiko’s mother (unnamed) was killed during a giant dragons rampage through Tokyo. Logan promised her dying mother that he would take care of Amiko. He also held her mother through her dying moments. Because he was a full-time X-Man Logan was unable to look after her personally, so he fostered her with his wife Mariko Yashida instead. Amiko lived with Mariko for a few years, seeing Logan on rare occasions, and enjoyed the plush life-style that Clan Yashida gave her. 

She also met Kitty Pryde and went for ice-cream with her, Logan and Mariko. When Mariko was assassinated, no legal plan existed for Amiko’s care (why Marvel couldn’t have her move to the X-Mansion idk) and she ended up in the foster system. Logan thought that was fine, even sending money to help care for her, but discovered that her foster parents had been stealing the money. 

Taking her away from the situation, he gave guardianship over to Yukio. Honestly Amiko got kidnapped a lot to be used against him but at least she’s still alive! She has limited martial arts and, due to her lineage, it is possible that she could develop mystical abilities though nothing has been confirmed for her.

2: Avery Connor (Earth 616)

After Logan’s skeleton was bonded to adamantium, one Dr David Connor took some of Logan’s genetic material and implanted it into the child his wife, Veronica Connor, was pregnant with (okay. Creepy.) The result of this was Avery Connor, specifically “designed” so that her powers would manifest when she hit maturity (yikes) with the hope that she would be stronger then Wolverine. By age 14 she was able to recover from a gunshot wound to the chest in about a minute. She only appeared in the 3 issue novel “Elektra and Wolverine: The Redeemer” which you can find on Comicpunch.net if you want to know her full story.

3: Brian and Mari Logan (Earth 1298)

These two are put together because they’re twins! They appear in the very last arc of Mutant X (#28 onwards). During this time, Logan is believed to be dead but is, in fact, alive and currently only has fragmented memories (basic Logan stuff really.) Instinct drives him to the house he shared with his wife, Mariko Yashida (the twins’ mom). While there, he runs into Mari who asks him if he’s her dad, because “mommy said that daddy went to heaven but Brian says he’s going to come back to us someday.”

Creed kidnaps the family, Logan tracks them down and has a heartfelt proper reunion with them, even hugging Brian. Pretty much the only thing Logan cares about during this last arc is getting his family to safety which is, you know, fair enough tbh.

4: Cameron Pryde (Earth 25158)

Cameron is the son of Kitty Pryde and Piotr Rasputin. He was born shortly before the mutant control act, which led to all surviving mutants being locked up in camps (oof.) When Kitty was taken away by sentinels, Logan took Cameron to safety and raised him as his own son, training Cameron to be a hunter in the wilds of the Sentinel Territories. Cameron was 17 when he met Kitty and his younger sister, Christina, whom ended up killing him.

5: Daken Akihiro (Earth 616)

Daken is probably the most famous of all Logan’s children, right next to Laura. Putting a trigger warning here for bullying and one suicide.

Daken is the son of Logan and Itsu. In 1946, during the last moments of her pregnancy, Itsu was murdered by Winter Soldier (yea) in an attempt to lure out Logan and return him to Madripoor. Romulus cut Daken from her womb, which Daken survived due to his healing factor. Daken was left on the doorstep of Akihira and Natsumi, who took his arrival as an answer to their prayers and raised him as their own. He was given the name “Akihiro” but the servants and other families secretly called him “Daken” (bastard dog), a slur about his mixed heritage.

This harsh treatment caused him to develop a cold persona to everyone but Akihira. One night, Natsumi confessed to Akihira that she was pregnant and didn’t actually love Akihiro. Daken overheard this, and within a year of Junichiro’s birth (sometime in 1957 so Daken was 10-11), he confronted Natsumi and said he’d killed her son (this was true). Akihira disowned him, Daken said his real name wasn’t “Akihiro” and then Natsumi tried to run him through with a bayonet on the end of a rifle. This triggered Daken’s mutant powers, and he ended up accidentally slashing her down. Akihira committed suicide.

Romulus appeared and told Daken that he was what Daken would someday become. Romulus sent him to a training camp in Canada, the same one Logan had been trained in 40 years prior. Other stuff happens here but basically Romulus ends up telling Daken that Logan is his father and lies to his face, saying that Logan was the one who killed Itsu with Daken still inside her, which is why Daken hates Logan’s guts. In the following years, Romulus nurtured this hatred.

You can’t see it in the image above but Daken does have a third claw on the underside of each wrist.

6: Erista (Earth 616)

Literally Erista only appears once. His mom is Gahck of the Savage Lands Fire Tribe and the only time we see him is when Logan is leaving said Savage Lands.

7: Hudson Logan (Earth 982)

Hudson is Rina’s half-brother and was a member of the Revengers, who attacked the Avengers on more then one occasion. However, he switched sides to fight against Galactus and then asked to be an official Avenger. Though suspicious of his motives, they let him join as they needed help fighting Sylene, Loki’s daughter.

8: Hulk Jr/Bruce Banner Jr (Earth 807128)

Baby Banner was the newest addition to the Hulk Gang, and Bruce’s favourite among them. When Logan killed the entire gang (you’ll find out why in a little while), he felt it was poetic justice that Hulk Jr be the first member of his new team of heroes to help retake the country.

500 years into the future, Hulk Jr helped defeat Galactus, using him as a power source for a time machine. He and his team ended up on Earth 616 and the F4 convinced them all to go live on Nu-World instead. The last we see of him is on a rebuilt Galactus engine heading to a new world.

9: Jade and Scotty Logan (Earth 807128)

Jade and Scotty were born 50 years into the future, to Logan and Maureen. Logan owed the Hulk Gang rent money and went off to collect it. He returned 2 weeks early only to find that his family had been killed because the Hulk’s “got bored.”

10: James “Jimmy” Hudson Jr (Earth 1610)

James’ mom is Magda, who you will probably know as Magneto’s wife and the mother of Wanda and Pietro. Logan entrusted Jimmy to his war friend, James Hudson. His last name was changed from “Howlett” to “Hudson” to make the adoption official, and his mutant origins would be kept a secret until his highschool days. Jimmy grew up to be like Logan, with a taste for red-haired women (okay Marvel, sure), a reckless lifestyle and a feral personality. 

Unfortunately, Logan died before Jimmy could ever meet him. When Jimmy was drag-racing at 17 his car crashed and this is when he discovered he had a healing factor. His gf was disgusted by it and left him (ouch) and the next day he got a visit from Kitty Pryde. She told him he was Wolverine’s son, and gave him some of Logan’s old things, including his canadian dog tag (and a lock of Jean’s hair because god forbid Marvel let that go). 

A holographic message from Logan told Jimmy “you’re my son, dont ask about your mother, don’t focus on the past, be thankful the Hudsons raised you and learn to live with the choices you make” (paraphrasing of course). His last message to Jimmy was that he never regretted having a son. 

With Kitty’s encouragment, Jimmy found he had inherited Logan’s claws and formed a metallic coating over them. He would then seek out Jean, who helped him recruit other mutants.

He ended up bonded to a Symbiote eventually and now he goes by the alias Poison. Also he got rid of that dope beard and went with mutton-chops instead which, like, worst decision by far they hella look ugly on him.

11: Kendall Logan (Earth 9811)

Kendall’s mom is Ororo! She also has an unnamed baby brother! Kendall can manipulate the weather like Ororo and possesses a healing factor like Logan. She also has her father’s temper but her mother’s good attitude. She’s highly trained as a fighter and is as stealthy as an assassin. She was born in a universe where the Secret Wars never left Battleworld.

Due to various circumstances, Kendall and a bunch of other mutant kids ended up on an alternate earth where Sentinels ruled America. The kids then decided to stay here and wipe out the Sentinels.

12: Kirika Yashida (Earth 295)

In this reality, Logan and Mariko had a romance before the ascension of apocalypse. This romance led to the birth of Kirika. Logan was unaware of her birth and, after Japan’s destruction, joined the X-Men. Mariko joined the Human High Council and Kirika ended up the property of Sinister though how this happened is never stated. Magneto found her in a containment marked “X-23″ and was surprised when she unsheated her claws. 

Kirika ended up being trained by Magneto and was tasked with bringing her father back to America with her. Important note, but on this earth Logan is still going by “Weapon X”. A bunch of other shit happens, and Kirika ends up being killed by Weapon X with 616 Logan mourning her death as he holds her charred remains, right before he went feral and attacked his 295 counterpart.

13: Kouen (Earth 13119)

A teenage clone of Logan, Kouen was created by an unknown organization, who ordered him to kill Logan, who they believed was the missing link they needed to create the “perfect race.” Instead of doing that, however, Kouen chose to help Logan rather than kill him.

14: Laura Kinney (Earth 616 and Evolution/Earth 11052)

The second most well-known of Logan’s children! Her comic origins are a bit more convoluted then her origins in Evolution so I’ll talk about both. Personally, I prefer her origins in Evolution but, ya know. Prefences and all. 

I’m going to talk about her comic/616 origins first because it’s. A lot to get through and condense.

When Facility (yes that’s what the organization is called) failed to find a subject capable of surviving the bonding process of adamantium to bones (because they wanted to recreate the Weapon X program that made Logan), mutant geneticist Sarah Kinney was brought in to create a clone.

After 22 failed attempts of cloning, because they couldn’t find a Y Chromosome in the only bit of damaged genetic coding they had of Logan’s, Sarah proposed they make a female clone instead. Initially rejected, Sarah went and did it anyway, using her own genetic material to complete Logan’s. Dr Sutter was impressed but Dr Zander Rice claimed insubordination and forced Sarah to be the surrogate.

Laura spends 7 years training in the facility while Sarah tries to ensure that Laura retain some semblance of humanity. Rice had her subjected to radiation poisoning to acclerate her mutant gene growth and bonded her claws to adamantium. 

Other shit happens, she ends up being harshly trained (and punished) by Kimura, then 3 years later she got her first mission, was punished for not returning with Rice, ended up ordered to kill Sutter and his family and then she managed to kill Rice. Unfortunately Rice exposed her to “trigger scent” which sent her into a rage that killed Sarah. In her dying words, Sarah names her “Laura.”

Other stuff happens but I’m skipping it so fast-forward and Laura tracks Logan down to the x-mansion where she beats him in a fight. She tells him who she is, he says he already knows cuz he got a letter from Sarah telling him the whole story (??? okay sure) but before they can have a proper talk Steve Rogers arrests her. 

She gets interrogated by Steve and Matt Murdoch. Matt claims she’s innocent given her backstory, but Steve wants her to atone for her murders. Ultimately, Steve frees her so she doesn’t get exploited by SHIELD as a weapon.

Laura joins the X-Men and immediately gets protective over Logan, even following him on missions.

Now for Evolution/11052 canon which is way fucking easier to get through! 

Logan learns through SHIELD that Dr Deborah Risman, working for HYDRA, managed to create a female clone of him after 22 failed attempts. Her only codename was X-23. (She doesn’t get the name Laura in the cartoon but that might be cuz it was cancelled before the last season.)

Denied a normal childhood, X23 was lonely (seriously you actually see her hugging teddy bears in Kitty’s room and getting jealous over how happy the X-Men teens are). She’d never had a companion, spending most of her time honing her skills under observation.

She breaks into the X-Mansion, defeating the other X-Men, and eventually confronts Logan. Logan refuses to fight back against her, spending his time trying to talk to her instead. X23 lashes out, screaming “everything I am is because of you!”

Logan eventually catches her wrists, telling her he’s the one person who understands what she went through, and admits he had no idea about what they did to her. When X23 breaks down in his arms, Logan hugs her back, saying he’s the closest thing she has to family.

When SHIELD shows up to take her in, Logan tells her to run for it. Laura hesitates, not wanting to leave him (you can tell by her face) but Logan repeats the order. She leaves and Logan tells Fury to leave her alone because she’s been through enough.

(Also fun note, the reason Laura is white in the comics and not brown is bc they wanted her to look “more like Logan” apparently).

15: Mongrels (Earth 616)

Led by Gunhawk (William Downing, one with the bandana), the Mongrels team consists of Fire Knives (redhead girl), Shadowstalker (purple girl), Cannon Foot (the big boy) and Saw Fist (green mask), all children of Logan’s from various different mothers. Put together by The Red Right Hand, these mercs all have a hatred for Logan though it’s never explained why, and wanted to cause him as much pain as possible. During their final fight with him, Logan manages to kill them all but is devastated to learn they were, in fact, his children. 

He ends up burying them with their respective mothers.

16: Raze Darkholme (Earth 13729)

Raze’s mom is Mystique, whom he killed and replaced some time in the future. His claws are really short and he uses shapeshifting to make them longer (lol). His shape-shifting is supposedly stronger then Mystique’s. The first time we see him, he’s impersonating Kitty Pryde in order to get close to Logan and strike him down. 

Raze has an older half-brother, whose father is Xavier (yes really). Raze wants to kill the entire human population, and bring all persecuted mutants from the multiverse into one place to create a mutant paradise. This plan is ultimately stopped by an alt earth’s Phoenix.

17: Reine du Rien (Earth 616)

Reine (pronounced “ren”) is a french sorceress and I think she’s also half-romani. She has Logan’s healing factor and claws, which glow a faint blue, and her clans magic. Her mother, Sylvie, had a one-night stand with Logan in the 60′s specifically to create Reine so that their clan would have an immortal child capable of killing a demon called “Truth” so they wouldn’t have to rely on Logan anymore.

As per usual, Logan didn’t know about her. In 1989 Logan tracked down her hometown but was told to fuck off by her aunt because he wasn’t needed anymore. Unfortunately, he caught Reine’s scent and, not one to let things go, kept trying to talk to her whenever he happened to see her. In 2008, Reine finally confirmed she was his daughter and said her clan didn’t think she needed a name, but began calling her Reine which meant “nothing.” (Oof.)

After explaining that it wasn’t her he was trying to hunt, but Truth, Logan and Reine crossed their claws and promised to kill Truth together, thus setting them both free.

18: Rina Logan (Earth 982)

So! Rina’s mother is Elektra! She’s a skilled martial artist and gymnast. Her claws are made of psychic energy! She used to get bullied at school for being the child of an immigrant and unemployed biker, but then opinion changed when everyone saw Logan pick her up from school and learned that her mom was a wealthy martial arts master (lol get fucked). Rina is canonically a daddy’s girl, and a lot of heroes give her a wide berth because she’s considered as dangerous as Logan is. 

[jivkies]

       hello hello ! its ur local neighborgood giant kylen ( aka kylo ren ). i currently live in the pst timezone & i am 21 years old. i’m an avid pokemon go player & i love reading as well. i also have a broken nail which makes typing difficult but i’ll adapt hehe. other than that below u can find out about keiran ! if u dont wanna talk thru here hmu on d!scord @ break up w ur gf#6145

B A S I C S

✧･ﾟ(   nyx + naressa valdez + cisfemale   ) 𝒎𝒂𝒎𝒎𝒂 𝒎𝒊𝒂 !!  have you seen (   keiran lovell  ) around ? (   she  ) has been in kaos for (   two months   ). the (   twenty-three year old   ) is a (   business major   ) from (   stillwater, oklahoma   ). people say they can be (   stoic   ) but maybe that’s not too bad ‘cause they can also be (   meticulous   ). whenever i think of them, i can’t help but think of (   coffee in a wine glass, business books scattered in her room, and an all black wardrobe with bits of color here and there   ).  ･ﾟ✧

B A C K G R O U N D 

the story begins on december 21st in STILLWATER, OK, at 11:57pm…

this was when keiran giovanna lovell was born to vonnie & clarence lovell.

she was a planned child & was loved by her parents. she was raised in a two bedroom apartment

her mother was a stay-at-home mom & keiran’s dad was a journalist. he would often times spin tales as bedroom stories to help keiran fall asleep

the three were as close as a family could honestly be & nothing could stand in their way.

when kieran started school, her mom left her notes in her lunch & her dad would be the one to pick her up after school & they would have family dinners every night, talking about their day

happy was the only thing that kieran was seen as. she was joyful & sweet & so kind at a young age, putting others before herself.

then on march 4th, it seemed that the god had BLESSED them…

at some point the lovells decided that they could handle another child & keiran soon enough had a younger sister who was seven years younger than her.

her name was jacquie & it was an adjustment to get used to a baby in the house.

kieran was often jealous especially as her parents seemed to start paying more attention to her than kieran.

for a bit, kieran disliked the fact that her sister had ever been born - she wanted her family to be close-knit all over again.

the late night stories disappeared as did the notes in her lunch from her mom

kieran realized the distance that was growing between her & her family but yet she was still sweet & kind, only her outgoing personality seemed to dwindle

of course the devil had to INTERVENE on june 28th…

clement was born when keiran was ten years old & he was definitely unplanned

he threw a wrench in the lovell’s life when he came into the world

again, keiran watched as her parents juggled a baby & a toddler at the same time - wishing that it could’ve stay the three of them

it was during this time that keiran now had to share her room with her younger sister, something that she had never looked forward to ( her stuff was hers & she did not want to share )

despite the fact that jacquie was young, it was obvious that the same thing that happened to keiran only three years previous was happening to jacquie as well

her parents were not prepared for a third child so soon, if at all. & despite the fact that keiran wasn’t exactly happy to have a younger sister she made sure to look out for her so she didn’t get hurt around the house

soon enough, during the night time when it was supposed to be the calmest time of the day, there were doors slamming & loud voices taking over the night

it started when keiran was eleven & continued until she was fourteen

she hated the yelling & the weird smell of something toxic in the air, but she learned to live with it at a young age

her parents started to pay more & more attention to the negatives of one another rather than kieran & her siblings

it was during these three years that kieran grew closer & valued her siblings more & more

a fourteen, seven, & four year old now EMBARK on a journey…

with a mother who seemed to have given up in general & a father who seemed to look at the aisle of alcohol more than his own kids, the lovell children ended up in the foster care system.

keiran was scared, she was frightened to be torn away by the only place she had ever called home. she was terrified to be pulled apart from her siblings

she cried & she complained & she argued that they needed to stay together no matter what

a year went by without them being adopted & keiran needed to fix her mindset

she thought about it & decided that as long as they were within a city of one another she could visit them whenever she’d like & that then it would be okay

keiran loved the memories she had of her parents, but despised the fact that they left them to a bunch of strangers. keiran learned to love her siblings more than herself

in the following year it worked out in keiran’s favor. a couple decided to adopt jacquie as well as clement. at the same time they had a family friend who was willing to adopt keiran.

the only downside was that the family friend had lived two cities away ( a trip that took 4 hours to complete by bus & only 35 minutes driving )

nothing could separate a GODDESS from her lovers…

keiran was moved into a private school in which she stayed at during the week & on the weekends she always found a way to see her siblings

during the weekday she balanced working & school so that she could spoil her siblings & save up, while also keeping her grades up

her thoughts were set on making sure her siblings grew up happy & not thinking for a second that they were never not loved

she did good in high school, didn’t score the top grades, but was averaging between a 3.6-3.8 gpa

keiran suffered from paying attention to only her family though. she worked hard but never played. it seems that she grew socially-awkward, coming off as too harsh or blunt when she spoke to others

to say the least, there was a huge difference between keiran around her family & keiran everywhere else

she learned to be analytical & critical over her own work & her own ambitions. she thought that she needed to be better than herself

from the world keiran was closed-off & believed on proving her parents wrong. which is why she applied for business school

of course, growing up her younger sister saw how hard keiran was working & she straight up told her to go & live her own life & to stop worrying about her & clement

keiran was stunned to hear that from her sister? & kind of hurt as well ? everything she had planned for herself she had planned with her siblings in mind.

they continued to tell her that they had parents & that keiran needed to go out & be social & do what she wanted versus what was best for them ( in a loving way of course )

soon a goddess turned into a LONELY wanderer…

keiran went through with her business degree, but she gave her siblings space & room to grow themselves

she’s completing her two final semesters for her business degree as an online student !

this also gave herself room to grow & socialize. despite this there still seemed to be a wall between close friends & strangers, yet she has gotten better with people

she learned to love makeup & soon went & got a certificate in cosmetology as well as getting a bit into fashion & reading

she developed hobbies & things to do in her free time & once she turned twenty-three she decided to travel to kaos for a new life in which she’s trying to take a “vacation” & experience her life a bit more.

keiran admits that she was an adult for too long & needs to loosen up a bit.

[punkscowardschampions]

Ali & Carly

Ali: oi walsh Ali: wanna go to a party where the guestlist is undesirable Ali: not in the cool way Ali: but the drinks will be aplenty Carly: u had me @ party but keep talking Ali: obviously you love when I chat you up Ali: family function but they ain't gonna force smalltalk on you w the booze, like so no fear Carly: love wen ur offering 2 take me away Carly: compliments are a beautiful bonus Carly: ur hot bro gonna b there?? Ali: easy Ali: take you somewhere better than wherever he is after if you play your cards right Ali: and someone isn't too OD'd on beer and BBQ by tonight to organise a decent shindig Carly: yea lads r sooo easy Carly: its boring Carly: showing my cards we should get some 💊 & fly through it Ali: 👌 Ali: sadly my mother refuses to address her issues so no stocked medicine cabinet here to raid Ali: I'll ask about Carly: ha Carly: mine don't Carly: I've got this Carly: show your love later Ali: 🙌 Ali: gimme her number Ali: put in the groundwork now like the overachiever I am Carly: [does give her number out] Carly: k but you love me more Ali: obviously Ali: love of my life Ali: gotta rep my manners with your ma though Carly: said as ur slipping ur 💍 off & giving some other bitch the 👀 Carly: how my da works Ali: hmm Ali: better leave her alone then Ali: don't need to repeat her mistakes Carly: if 1 person did the cabinet wouldn't be full for us Carly: let's keep one 'rent 💔 at a time Ali: smart Ali: that's why you're my bae Carly: its cos I kno how to juggle 💘 Carly: & other body parts ofc Ali: 😂 Ali: and a decent trip, hopefully 🤞 Ali: your mum's got a mixture, yeah or do I need to bring tissues Ali: or 🥊 Ali: what's the #mood Carly: whatever you want it to be baby Carly: shes got docs wrapped around her finger Carly: hers anyway Carly: mine's a woman & she refuses to flirt w her own gender Ali: k am a bit in love with her now Ali: soz Ali: clearly send her in, she'll change her tune and your prescription Carly: other than my da who isnt Carly: taught me everything I kno Carly: leave her a message she'll hit you back if you pretend to be hot lad Ali: 💔 that Carly: same I could have two mas Carly: more clothes & drugs to steal Ali: idk, my missus might reckon your da's a style icon Carly: ha Carly: she coming? Ali: nah Ali: you wanna see actual flirting w a middle-aged woman, like, she's your woman Ali: I can't Carly: on her bday she'll propose a 3way w ur ma Carly: been there Ali: 🤢 Ali: that's vile Ali: her diehard need to be more chivalrous than any man should work in my favour for once, like Carly: k Carly: tell me I'm wrong wen she's 1 year older & you ain't had to nah that Ali: bold of you to assume we won't be happily married by then, babe Ali: it ain't til feb Ali: hint hint buy me something Carly: ur married to me Carly: so you gotta say no Carly: & i kno ur a typical aquarius Carly: but I said hers you weren't listening such a hubby mood Ali: wish I could be the man you want and say I don't remember when it is Ali: but I think I do so Ali: 💔 fucking estrogen and empathy strikes again Ali: ultimate cockblock Carly: im not wrapping myself in a ribbon for her so idc when it is Ali: gutted for her Ali: when's yours then Carly: I'm a gemini girl Carly: guess Ali: ah fuck Ali: gonna have to kick it belated Ali: just means I have to go harder so enjoy Ali: hmm Ali: gonna go for 21st Carly: 😢 Carly: nope Ali: damn Ali: just wishful thinking I'd only just missed it, tbh Ali: it's June though, not May Ali: I'm positive Carly: yea Ali: I'll ask our mans Ali: shake him down for all that knowledge I'm sure he's hiding Carly: try it Carly: be funny Carly: how wrong he is Ali: counting on it Ali: how else am I stealing his girl Carly: im not his Carly: already yours Ali: 'course Ali: you seen him much since partygate Carly: just waved him out before you hit me w your invite Carly: y i said yea so fast Ali: I get it Ali: making him leave was always harder than it had any right being Ali: least he didn't invite himself Carly: he makes himself comfortable if I am or not Carly: revolving door on this caravan too so Ali: having 'nam flashbacks Ali: yikes Ali: let's not waste any more time talking 'bout exes tonight Ali: or currents Carly: did your ma let him in on her way out too or does she only like the girls ur w? Carly: aw you don't wanna talk Carly: let me apply gloss hold on Ali: safe to assume he's not coming 'cos of multiple people Ali: not just Lene Ali: 🍓 if you got it, babe Carly: & she's not coming cos of multiple ppl not just ur ma Carly: you not a 🍒 girl hm Carly: interesting Ali: she's not coming 'cos I ain't asked her Ali: awkward if my mother has taken the initiative but help the party go with a swing, I guess Ali: nah, you're a 🍓 girl Ali: too sweet for 🍒 Carly: cos you asked me i kno 😍 so cute Carly: aw you want me to taste how i naturally do Carly: even cuter Ali: be more fun Ali: invite her to my next protest or something more fitting Ali: nothing personal Carly: hey i can be loud Carly: do it all the time Ali: aw you want all her invites now? 😏 Carly: yea Carly: you want me you got me 💍 Ali: alright Ali: you're on Carly: k Ali: get ready for so many adventures Carly: 😊 Carly: wot am i wearing to this 1? Carly: gotta dress for hot bros & disapproving mas Ali: 🙄 Ali: if that's the mood you wanna go for Ali: though idk why you'd choose that over turning my head but go off, honey Carly: i can do that in what Im wearing rn Carly: gimme a challenge Ali: love the confidence Ali: my ma ain't but you will need it with my brother Carly: they all play hard to get until i get there Carly: being easy keeps it easy for them Carly: not my first bbq Ali: nah babe Ali: remember, we're ditching before it gets to that part of the evening Ali: soz to 💔 but I'll be nicer about it than he would so also welcome Carly: throw the keys in the salad bowl as soon as i get there idc Carly: no foreplay needed Ali: gotta get you outta the caravan park more, babe7 Carly: yea Carly: im walking now before he can follow me Ali: meet you halfway? Ali: will bring a crowbar if he's being that clingy Carly: ha Carly: im in the stash don't be sad Carly: ill leave you lots Ali: 👍 leave me chance to catch up too and no worries Carly: ofc Carly: 💙 Ali: you're a doll Carly: yea thats y everyone wants to fuck me Ali: nah Ali: plenty of other reasons for that though Carly: its k you dont need to list off ur compliments 1 per 💊 Carly: i feel the love Ali: you ain't saving me that many, I know 💚 Carly: aw Carly: ur so sweet Ali: nicer to my wives than my girlfriends, obvs Ali: pecking order Carly: 😊 Carly: she's still lucky to have you cos ur an angel to me Ali: you Ali: trust, no angel Ali: and that ain't some juvenile attempt at a brag there Carly: it's a flirt 😈😉 ha Carly: you wanna misbehave w me in front of your whole fam im there Ali: assuming my brother ain't up for it, obvs Carly: cant i have both Carly: what kind of bi r u Ali: one that don't like her brother's handmedowns Ali: lived that life long enough Ali: he ain't a style icon either Carly: ur first Carly: hes maybe Ali: was hoping if we skipped ronan and lene off the guestlist we could avoid the punch-up, tbh babe Carly: aw you dont wanna fight for me Carly: 💔😢 Ali: I mean my brother's girlfriend will have you Ali: only tryna protect, not kill your vibe Carly: scarier than your gf? Ali: deffo Ali: she wishes, the real threesome request that'll spell the end of it all 🙄 Carly: hes forgotten then Carly: be more fun just me & you Ali: obviously Ali: been tryna tell you but easier to prove it Carly: k Carly: ready when you are Ali: soz, forgot shoes Ali: gimme 5 Carly: ha Carly: im not wearing any & im fine Carly: you just wanna do a last mirror check for me 💙 so cute Ali: 😂 Ali: such a pisstake, you walsh Carly: part time flower child you Carly: but its k i still love you Ali: just defending why I'm being so slow Ali: obvs my 😍 weighing me down but lemme have some pride, woman Carly: ha Carly: you're my cute 🐌 Ali: now you're gonna be adorable, fucking hell Ali: you're dangerous Carly: if you cant handle me now wait til I come up Carly: 💊s are the real danger baby Ali: I'll be caught up by then Ali: might have to double-down but I can handle that, no worries Carly: they r being so slow 😢😢😢 Ali: ride it out, baby Carly: you sounded like him then Carly: except hes never called me baby ever Ali: oh dear Ali: I've gone full dickhead Ali: 😬 Ali: I'll take it down a notch Carly: no youre being sweet Carly: theres just lots of ways to trigger a fuck flashback when youre me Carly: dont change Ali: dunno if I could but glad you still wanna keep me around Carly: ofc Carly: i love you Ali: you're so pure Carly: not for years soz boo Carly: & this stash aint either Carly: such a let down 💔😢 Ali: shh Ali: we can make it work Ali: there's enough here to get crossfaded Carly: just dont hate me k Ali: why and how could I ever Ali: silly wabbit Carly: easily Carly: my phones full of Ali: you gonna fuck my girlfriend? Ali: or me and leg it Ali: neither's likely so we're all good, baby girl Carly: she scares me still even if she would have an amazing collection of giant strap ons Ali: 😂 Ali: well I can neither confirm nor deny Carly: no need its every lesbian of her kind Carly: labelled herself Ali: just don't bring up penis envy Ali: she'll lose it Ali: #freudstarteditbabe Carly: can i ask her what she'd do first if she woke up w one? Carly: fave ice breaker Ali: it is gold Ali: but save it 'cos it's just me and you remember Carly: do you wanna know my answer Ali: of course Carly: guess Carly: you owe me a right answer for my wrong bday Ali: Hmm okay Ali: would you Ali: bang as many people as humanly possible Carly: i do that anyway Ali: well you get banged, if we wanna be misogynistic about it Ali: I know what I'd do Carly: more fun with more holes tho so I'm not mad Carly: first thing I'd do is measure to see if I need to brag or exaggerate Ali: pragmatic of you Ali: hadn't even considered that Carly: wanna know if mine's bigger than the lads I've been w ofc Carly: size matters idc what small dicked lads are trying to say Ali: yeah but they're always thinking length when really Ali: girth is where it's at Carly: yea Carly: shouldve taught that in school Ali: how to measure circumference Ali: they defs did Carly: yea?? Carly: idk Ali: I'll show you Ali: on a beer can Ali: unrealistic expectation but you get the idea Carly: all my expectations r unrealistic Carly: make me cum is a stretch for most lads on site Ali: babe Ali: gonna make me 😥 Carly: youre the pure 1 aint you Carly: aw Ali: hardly Ali: saying at least I get that, like Ali: minimum Carly: your gf has some uses that arent being your ma's BFF Ali: precisely Ali: I would've been a bit kinder with it but in a nutshell Ali: what about ronan at least Carly: have you forgotten him now youve upgraded Carly: shouldnt need my review Ali: shh, he'll cry Carly: he was when i wouldnt let him stay for dinner idc Ali: poor boy 😏 Carly: one of his other girls can cook for him Carly: my ma aint there & i aint doing it Ali: he needs to just give in and marry one of his own Ali: it's what he wants, no matter what he reckons Carly: he told me he is Carly: but hes said worse for a fuck so idk Ali: rude Ali: where's my invite to mourn my loss, boy Carly: ill tell him to text you Carly: wont have lost your number Ali: got the drunk texts to prove it Ali: bless Carly: ha Carly: only answer mine tho Carly: 💍 perks Ali: only if I ain't also there with ya Carly: yea Carly: youre gonna b w me forever so Ali: I'll just tell you in person then Ali: if you tell me Ali: deal? Carly: k Carly: i feel happy Carly: 😊😊😊😊😊 Ali: you're on your way Ali: where are you, btw Carly: the longest road ever Ali: hm, tell me about it Ali: I'll run Ali: in dramatic, sexy slo-mo Carly: me too Carly: only way i run Carly: see you when we collide Ali: wifey goals Ali: won't even try and make it our lips that collide Ali: scout's honour Carly: anticipations more fun Carly: plenty of other places I can touch you first Ali: we'll pretend you meant my 💘 Carly: i did that first night @ first 👀 Ali: no lie, we'll have to think of somewhere else innocent-sounding then Ali: do some experimenting, straight girl Carly: i have Carly: i told you ready when you are Ali: I told you, dangerous Carly: only if you get caught Carly: i won't tell if you don't Carly: so good at keeping secrets Ali: I'll sort it Ali: I made vows Ali: she'll understand Carly: were just taking them seriously Carly: nobody can be mad about that Ali: deadly, like Ali: also forgot a bra, naturally and this run is killing me Carly: somewhere innocent I can touch you then Carly: god works in obvious ways Carly: like you Ali: please Ali: if I was doing it for your benefit sure I'd put one on Ali: show 'em off Carly: you kno you dont need to Carly: not your first bbq either Ali: 😏 Ali: maybe Carly: no maybe u kno Carly: & you can feel my 😍 Carly: travelling faster than my slo mo run Ali: love being your wcw, babe 😉 Carly: idk what that is Carly: but if the first letters arent wild child I'm sad Ali: that's far less straight girl so we'll go with it Ali: hope for you yet, like Carly: youre not gonna tell me what it means Ali: woman crush wednesday Ali: used exclusively by girls like Leesha and that Carly: omg i think my ma said that @ the telly the other night Carly: it wasnt wednesday Ali: feeling like hyping up Chezza whatever the night Ali: I 👀 you Carly: but youre wrong Carly: i dont have a crush on you i love you Ali: so if I need a kidney you're down Ali: but no gay shit Ali: 👌 Carly: yea cos whats mine is yours Carly: all of me Carly: so you can have anything you want Ali: good to know Ali: make a killing on the black market Carly: just tell me if youre draining me in the tub so i can have a good last nite before Carly: & stop making me beg for gay shit that's not a mood Carly: i dont do the begging its the other way round Carly: ask anyone Ali: of course Ali: I ain't an animal Ali: you don't have to beg Carly: what do you want me to say then Ali: what you want Ali: obviously Carly: find me Carly: you can do that yea Ali: easy Ali: [does 'cos how long can one road be] Carly: [most excited hug that turns into the longest hug & moment because well we know] Ali: [turns it into linking arms and walking 'fore shit gets too real here] Carly: [is just happy & loling & chatting shit which is endless compliments basically like her eyes being tiny skies & sunshine hair etc you get the idea because high af] Ali: [is listening and not dismissing it 'cos not that bitch but also knows she's high so not being like ooh lol, 'you're so pure'] Carly: [dramatically stops cos remembers suddenly that she needs to give Ali her share so does, sad & mad at herself like she's so upset she nearly forgot bless] Ali: [cups her chin like hey and tells her it's okay whilst looking in her eyes as she takes her share] Carly: [back to being smiley just like that because reassurance bitch & takes her hand & leads her along cos handholding ftw] Ali: [is happy she's happy again] Carly: [her phone is going off cos Ronan but she's ignoring cos only got eyes for Alison rn] Ali: ['you put love eggs in or?'] Carly: [talks in depth about how she's drawing the line at borrowing that kinda shit from her ma cos oversharer even when she ain't high & also throws her phone to Ali playfully like no look so we can imagine how lovely those messages are even just from the first line preview thing] Ali: [takes Carly's thumb so she can open it and reply 'cos that bitch] Carly: [is just loling even though this is such a bad idea] Ali: [schools him in a way that probably sounds familiar lbr] Carly: [then a selfie sesh cos those bitches they love themselves] Ali: [takes her sunnies off her head and puts 'em on Carly 'cos her eyes are massive/pinholed depending which way we're rocking this lol] Ali: [does a 'shh' like no one's gonna know] Carly: [you know she's keeping them sunnies forever now soz] Ali: [just swinging their arms having a gay old time] Carly: [just singing something as they going cos no stage fright when high af & her voice is nice so its a moment] Ali: [😍] Carly: [more compliments when she notices Ali is looking at her cos she's pretty af lbr] Ali: ['how many other hidden talents you got, like?'] Carly: [thinks about it way harder than the question warrants like its a hard question cos lowkey is when you don't reckon you got any skills. Says 11 cos bday clue & lucky number with a mysterious expression like but then laughs cos if she has to ever back that up awks] Ali: [lols back but squeezes her hand like don't doubt it] Carly: [looks down at her feet because actually is shoeless here 'how far?'] Ali: [gestures like 'piggyback?' but ain't that far in my mind] Carly: [accepts because always, good thing Ali is strong & Carly is skinny cos they literally the same height] Ali: [galloping about and into your function like idiots 'cos she's coming up now too] Carly: [miracle that Carly don't fall cos not holding on properly cos wants to stretch her arms out so its like a bike with no handlebars situation lol] Ali: [imagine everyone's faces lmao] Carly: [Tess scowl be like seen from space] Ali: [gets situated on the grass and is just helping herself to drinks Carly: [is just having a little dance by herself cos feeling great not soz everyone especially not soz Ro cos you wish you could babe] Ali: [at least little rock can join in] Carly: [aw the two of them dancing together like cute nerds & she's spinning him round & everything] Ali: [just ignoring all her fam's questions and being chatty af like nothing's weird 'cos high, then joining in 'cos duh more fun[ Carly: [all you can hear is Carly's laugh which is the best so deal with it fam thank you, let my sweet baby angel be happy] Ali: [when you being blatant af] Carly: [when you don't need to be touching a girl who has a girlfriend this much when you dancing in a non sexy way but you is] Ali: [defs need a sprinkler they can all be running through] Carly: [wet t-shirts ftw I see you] Ali: [is motioning like come to my room but not like that lads, just get some weed like you need it] Carly: [takes some drinks with her but the only mental image I have is when Lily in Skins with armfuls when she says keep your vagina on & I'm loling] Ali: [hey ro hey] Carly: [okay but Carly trying to talk to her & being so nice cos she's so pure & Ro being so rude] Ali: [even in her state given her all the disappointed looks like ??] Carly: [this sweet child laughing it off cos how she do but how dare you Ro, I'm mad] Ali: [going to the kitchen for food, accidental ultimate ro shade] Carly: [just following Ali cos she's never been here & don't know where she's going but quieter cos you can tell she's thinking what did I do wrong cos how her brain works] Ali: [being reassuring af] Carly: [sitting on the kitchen counter swinging her legs looking so cute with her dirty feet & drinks from the tap cos she do what she want] Ali: ['you look beautiful'] Carly: [smiles & laughs like its chill but is seriously 😳 cos who says nice things to her like this ever] Ali: [gets them and rocky ice lollies bye everyone else] Carly: [when you eating it seductively without being aware or trying to be that cos its your life] Ali: [is giggling 'cos high] Carly: [more compliments because how cute] Ali: [lays her head in her lap to 'cloudgaze' aka sneak peeks] Carly: [playing with her hair & freckles sporadically because she's soft & intimate like that, be more blatant girl, love it] Ali: [doing daisychain around her wrist 'cos bringing it back] Carly: [finally remembers there are drinks so is on that but v distracted looking at & touching Ali, oh girl same we all would] Ali: [tryna be chill but obvs into it regardless of how 'straight she is] Carly: [lies in the grass & does snow angel moves like she can flatten the grass & make one, god bless you babe, brings Ali with her so they just snuggling cos we can be this blatant] Ali: [just stroking her hair nbd] Carly: [loves it & is making it known by talking about how good it feels & throwing out compliments like its her job sorry for how gay this is everyone but she thinks Ali is the best so] Ali: [backatcha telling her how pure and sweet she is and they're just blabbing at each other] Carly: [soz k stew but this is cute] Ali: [when you wanna kiss her so bad 'cos you're high and happy and this is a mood] Carly: [I'll either save or condemn us cos she's gonna go take some more pills so they don't wear off so they could be alone if Ali goes with & she'd be dragging her along so v dangerous] Ali: [looking at themselves in the mirror and making funny faces] Carly: [& Carly just peeing cos no shame, same tbh] Ali: [but doing like war/festival style paint on each other's face with like, whatever lipstick has been left in that bathroom] Carly: [but think how close Ali would have to be to her face to do that like how has she not kissed her, applause needed honestly] Ali: [draws a lil heart on Carly's nose] Carly: [can't stop looking at herself cos loves it] Ali: [takes loads of pictures, improtu bathroom photoshoot sesh] Carly: [likewise taking loads of pics of Ali but like weird close ups cos she gaaaaaaaay & focused on the details] Ali: [posing 'cos we know she's about it lmao] Carly: [more touching of freckles like she's gonna draw something connect the dots style but just using her fingers cos they are perfect as they are & she'd say so] Ali: [not much would phase her but she would be blushing rn] Carly: [just gushing about how adorable she is endlessly like it'd be too much from anyone else] Ali: [keeps saying ILY 'cos being off your face ftw] Carly: [saying it back of course & all the terms of endearment like baby, angel etc cos that's just how she is anyway] Ali: [someone, probably Tess, banging on the door like they're desperate, we see you ma] Carly: [jumps out of her skin, again same] Ali: [hugs her protectively] Carly: [smelling her hair like a peak gay during the hug because lbr it'd smell nice, no shade or shame here, more compliments for that obvs] Ali: [going back downstairs before there's a brawl but when you ain't even phased 'cos something happening here deal fam Carly: [when you lowkey dancing your way back out cos you happy af & you find the dog on the way so you're carrying him with you & kissing & loving him & its adorable sorry bye] Ali: [and spuds such a funny looking boy lmao] Carly: [lying on the grass again spooning the dog & singing to him probably a song from when she was little & her mum cared like he a baby] Ali: [just watching and melting 'cos actually so cute, don't cry bitch lmao] Carly: [sees her & crawls over like hey, curling up with her again because the lap is a mood forever & we need to claim it from your future child for the gays] Ali: [doing teeny tiny plaits in her hair and humming the song she was just singing to the dog] Carly: [just chatting shit the whole time soz everyone else but they loving life let them be] Ali: [just getting to know each other hardcore 'cos neither of them has much time for small talk or bullshit anyway so on drugs it'd be like 1000 percent more intense, also shamelessly ignore a call and multiple texts from your actual girlfriend] Carly: [but then after all that because I'm evil & she's 'straight' let's say she makes eye contact with Fraze somehow so off she goes to flirt with him as if that's even a possibility when you know it'd just be annoying like her taking his 🚬 to try & be so cool & seductive, babe no. He's just like Ali control your girls] Ali: [is annoyed but not gonna do anything unless it got more dramatic like you deal, casually going through her phone to find a party or something] Carly: [Fraze just being such a dickhead soz Carly also knowing that's Bea's lipstick because of course he does so loling about her & Ali's impending doom] Carly: [also Ro coming out cos someone made her to 'eat' so just being super judgey such joy] Ali: [fully like fuck this like don't kill my vibe fam so walking like she just gonna go in the house but really she peacing] Ali: if ur done come back out Carly: where d u go? Ali: found us a party Carly: k Carly: [catches up to her like oh hey] Ali: [tells her it ain't far to go and starts walking] Carly: [looks down at her feet like she only just remembered she's not wearing shoes but doesn't miss a beat in keeping in step with her because being gay is more important] Carly: dont b mad @ me Ali: [looks down too and is like, we can go get shoes first if you want lol] Ali: I ain't Carly: the colours around you have changed Carly: i kno u r Ali: nah it's like Ali: hmm Ali: I'm not sure what it's like Carly: like me again Carly: [is saying sorry because always quick to that one] Ali: ['I do, you don't need to say that'] Carly: [trying to give Ali her drink as a peace offering like hmm I've done something wrong must make amends somehow] Carly: [& then more pills when she remembers she has them still] Ali: [shrugs like why not and accepts, cue Leesha and probably her 'best' friend tottering out of her house looking the most overdressed] Carly: [Carly loling because she has the whole day but these bitches taking it as a slight against their everything] Ali: [Leesha started shouting the odds 'cos mother's daughter and obvs already white girl wasted, Ali like let's just go 'cos over it] Carly: [Carly offering her pills cos change your mood babe & being looked at like she's offering poison, you've been there before Leesha I get it] Ali: [tryna lowkey drag her away before this becomes the Thing tm they want it to be for the #drama] Carly: [Carly just chatting about Ali's heroics & how sweet she is cos knight in shining armor for her forever lbr just like 😍] Ali: [loling] Carly: [Carly just out the blue like 'you should kiss her, then she'd be happier' like no babe Leesha ain't you but I love the softness of your world view] Ali: ['fully converted, are you?'] Carly: [lols but is also like 'you haven't kissed me yet' with a cute little pouty face as she walks on slightly ahead looking at the sky] Ali: ['Night still young, baby'] Carly: [clearly is buzzing about this & not hiding that 'I love you more than her' how unspecific she could mean Leesha or K stew or both, god bless] Ali: [is all 'I know' but not 'cos she's a cocky bitch lmao 'cos you're pure'] Carly: [puts her arms up like a child who wants to be picked up cos she wants Ali to carry her into the party] Ali: [does 'cos duh even if she's joking about how high maintenance she is] Carly: [snuggling into her the whole time cos she's soft] Ali: [let's hope it's not too far, probably some 20-something hippie waster's chill thing] Carly: [when you humming but using Ali's heartbeat as your basis for a tune cos gaaaaaaaaaaay] Ali: [when you're harmonizing] Carly: [#goals for real] Carly: [but then she gotta stop so she can compliment Ali again cos we know her voice is fire but Carly didn't necessarily know this] Ali: ['we should jam for real some time'] Carly: [cue her rambling stage fright reveal because like we said no time for bullshit so its just being put out there & she's like 'you'll have to sing to me'] Ali: [is like okay but silently thinking of all the ways she could help her confidence 'cos that bitch but not gonna be pushy and patronizing about it 'cos not THAT bitch] Carly: [just staring at her adorably all like 'what are you thinking about?'] Ali: ['you'] Carly: [such a big smile but also blushing 'good things?'] Ali: [just gives her a look that's like what do you think and obviously, yes] Carly: [a big hug moment and kisses her on her forehead cos where the thoughts come from] Ali: [the mess of lipstick their faces are] Carly: [they must look crazy, living for it] Ali: [good thing no one at this party will care, turn up and chatting to people and the usual] Carly: [there should be someone there for Carly to hook up with to hurt Ali's heart & reaffirm the 'straightness'] Ali: [when you can't 'cos you got a gf, gutted] Carly: [who is probably still trying to contact you cos highkey] Ali: [text her back girl, come on] Carly: [do it while your real gf is getting you a drink lol] Ali: [let's text]

[nottooldforthisship]

*CHEF fics*

- Learning to Eat by @mbpgku : Celebrity chef Louis Tomlinson has a problem. He’s opening his first restaurant in 9 weeks, and he has yet to hire a pastry chef- apparently people think he’s ‘standoffish’ and ‘rude’ and ‘quick to temper’. Whatever. He ends up saddled with an annoying, happy-go lucky rookie who also happens to be obnoxiously good looking. His tv presenter and pop star best friends only add to the drama, and for fucks sake would everyone please stop quoting Julia Child?! Kitchen AU where Harry helps Louis re-learn how to eat.  (METAPHORICALLY) (38k, M)

- Every Good Boy Deserves Cookies , by @stunning-stylinson​ : “Y-yeah?” Louis asks breathlessly, “And then?“Harry giggles and moves his bum back to meet Louis. “Add the vanilla and crack the eggs, beating it all in with salt,” Harry says.Or where Harry is a chef who teaches a class and Louis swears it’s only Harry’s bossiness that turns him on, not the recipe for cookies and Harry likes being praised. (8.5k, E)

- Feels Like Coming Home , by @phd-mama: The last thing Harry Styles expects when he’s hanging out at the Someday Cafe in Somerville one rainy October day is for his ex, Louis Tomlinson to walk through the door, but that’s exactly what happens. After a spectacularly ugly break-up three years prior, Harry hasn’t heard one word from Louis, and he’s moved on. Gotten over him. But having Louis back in his life, not to mention working at the restaurant where he’s a chef, isn’t easy, and the feelings that Harry thought he’d left turn out to be not so easily forgotten. This is a story about love and the power of forgiveness, and how the hard choices we make define us, and change our lives. (60k, E)

- Before We Evaporate ,  by  crimsontheory  : Louis Tomlinson; executive chef and owner of his own five star restaurant, been voted one of the top chefs in London, and has won several awards for his work in the kitchen. He’s always dreamed of being on Chopped, but never believed it would actually happen. Until it does. Now that he’s officially made it onto the show, there’s one tall, curly haired distraction that might just ruin everything for him.Or the kinda sorta enemies to lovers Chopped AU with far more smut than necessary. (37k, E)  

- Fool's Gold , by @freetheankles : Or the Arnacoeur AU in which Harry is scheduled to be married to Liam in 10 days and Harry’s mother hires Louis and his team to break them up. (55k, E)

- Check Please      by  zedi   :      Louis has a shit date. Harry offers to cover the bill. They maybe fall in love. (2k, NR)

*BAKER fics*

- Relief next to me , by @haydolce : AU. What happens when a baker and a graphic designer meet via a very specific Craigslist post? Fate, friendship, food, and maybe more. (333k, E)

- leave it to the breeze , by @hattalove :  or a great british bake off au in which louis cares about winning and winning only, harry is made of sunshine and rainbow sprinkles, and niall sticks his nose into other people’s business. also featuring liam as louis’s best friend-slash-concerned mother, and zayn as a macaron connoisseur. (81k, E)

- shine by @lourrynavy​ ; Louis is an actor who needs to get away from the real world. He does the only thing that he can and runs away, finding himself in a small town where he happens upon Harry. What Louis doesn’t expect is to somehow fall in love and end up having to face what he was running from all along. (40k, M)

- Tis the Season for…Love?   ,    by @afangirlfantasy:   Prompt: Harry seems to have it all: A successful career as a pastry chef, a Victorian home in London, and a dedicated boyfriend who he's been with for years.   One day he stops by his boyfriend's apartment to surprise him and finds out that he's not so dedicated to Harry after all. Shocked and too depressed to celebrate, he decides to skip Christmas and on a whim leaves on a plane to New York. In New York he meets Louis… Or...Louis might just be what Harry's needed all along. (27k, M)

-  Flour and Chocolate      by   teaandtumblr : Then he approached the display cabinet. And the foreboding slammed into him. Because every product had letters next to it. Letters. GF, DF, V, O, VGN. What. The. Fuck? Lifting his eyes to the chalkboard menu spread across the back wall Louis felt physically ill. ‘Gluten-free’, ‘organic’, ‘vegan’, ‘paleo’, ‘dair-…’ Wait, what the fuck was a paleo? He had entered some hipster-trash establishment and it was more than time to get out.  OR Louis is a single dad and Harry works at the newly opened bakery down the street.(145k, M)

- Float Down Like Autumn Leaves (Stay Now) , by @getmesometacos  : The AU in which Louis has a 6 year old daughter with a costume emergency that puts her school’s annual Halloween party at risk, Halloween decorated cupcakes are hard to find and tall men look absolutely ridiculously cute in giant vegetables costumes. Co-starring Harry, who makes really good food for the kids. Featuring Niall, who works in a bakery but has a part time job as a babysitter. And as much as he doesn’t believe in love at first (or second) sight, Louis is really infatuated and really wouldn’t mind seeing Harry again.(16k, M)

- we’re still going, eight in the morning , by @nooelgallagher​  and @yoursongonmyheart​ : Harry washes his hands quickly before grabbing his phone. His screen lights up to 3 notifications.DJTommo is now following you!@DJTommo mentioned you in a tweet!Direct Message from @DJTommo!Harry yelps, throwing his phone to Niall who just barely catches it.Niall looks down at the phone, seeing first the tweet, then the DM. He tosses the phone back to Harry, who nearly drops it. “What are ya doing, mate! Answer him!”Harry thinks for a moment about what he wants to say. This is his chance to actually talk to Louis Tomlinson. Louis Tomlinson messaged him directly. He can say anything he wants. He begins typing, his fingers shaky.Niall comes over to stand next to Harry and peers down, looking to see what he wrote. When he does, he lets out a groan….Or, the one where Harry owns a bakery, Louis is a radio DJ, and Niall and Liam roll their eyes at their incessant flirting. (31k, E)

- taste on my tongue , by @bethaboolou : Louis Tomlinson, second place winner on TXF four years ago, is looking to reinvent his career. Harry Styles is a baker who is desperate for a bakery of his own.Louis doesn’t bake. Or cook. Or know how to use an oven.Take Louis. Take Harry. Add in a heaping cup of sexual tension. Another cup of delicious (and not so delicious) food. A smidgen of competitive spirit. A dash of hopes and dreams. And you get Kitchen Wars, a TV show that promises to be the must-watch event of the fall. (77k, E)

- come away with me , by @suspendrs: Or, Louis has to pick up the pieces of his and his daughter’s life after his wife dies, and Harry is a beautiful stranger that just wants to help. (80k, NR)

- Whether Clouds or Clear Skies , by @onewasturning :   “You, young Harold, are a baker among curry houses and vintage clothing stores,” Louis says, and it forces a bark of surprised laughter out of Harry.  “I’m a— sorry, what?”  “Harry,” Louis says, “last night I had an experience bordering on profound.”  “You’re making it sound like you did something sexual with my muffin,” Harry says. Or, Louis gets into the habit of stealing baked goods while Harry’s busy keeping tabs on the weather. (25k, E)

- Every Story Ever Told , by @all-these-larrythings : Becoming a best-selling author isn’t as difficult as Louis would have guessed. It seems all you need these days is the perfect blend of alcohol induced philosophy, complete disregard for one’s dignity, a live blog about how fucked love is, and a bored publisher interested enough to offer him a deal. (54k, NR)

- Skin New, Hands True, My Hands All Over You , by PearlyDewdrops   : Harry designs wedding cakes, so of course meeting blissfully happy couples every day is part of his job description. Unfortunately, it’s caused Harry to perpetually hope each new day is the one he’ll find love, too. That is, until Harry realises everything he’s ever wanted is right under his nose in the shape of his best friend, Louis. But predictably, Harry only comes to this epiphany when Louis starts seeing someone else. And this is not a John Hughes movie as far as Harry is aware. Everyone else is pretty sure, though. Featuring a heavy dose of pining, copious amounts of alcohol, drunk dialing that results in a situation reminiscent of Rachel Green’s, a ginger cat that likes to interrupt intimate moments, and a Halloween party that changes everything. (44k, E)

* RESTAURANT OWNER fics*

- all the lights are full of colour, by @infinitelymint : So, fast-forwarding eight years from the day Harry met Louis, he is now a twenty-seven year old owner of one of the most up-and-coming eating establishments on the London restaurant scene, father of two wonderful boys and… separated from his husband. Now, that last part definitely was never a part of the original plan.  Or, Harry and Louis are separated, but for the sake of their two sons, they choose to spend Christmas together. It may just lead to a Christmas miracle. (26k, E)

- You'll Hear Me Calling for You , by  pinky_heaven19  : OR the one where Harry is an Alpha and Louis has a problem with it - until he doesn't. (42k, E)

- Let's Go Get Away , by @letsjustsee : Or, a fluffy AU in which Louis owns a restaurant that's next door to Harry's shop, and Louis is completely unaware how smitten he really is. (7k, NR)

* FOOD BLOGGING fics*

- 'Til I Tasted You  , by @icanhazzalou : Louis is Harry Styles' biggest fan. It doesn't matter that Harry is famous for being a food blogger and Louis can't cook to save his life.At least, until Harry offers to give Louis a cooking lesson. Then it matters just a teensy bit. (14k, E)

[cyberstarlope]

Do you have any main headcannons for the rogues?

ask any question game

Oh my god, yeah a lot lmao

Jervis:- not a pedo/phile or rap/ist- basically giant man child hopeless romantic- bisexual- a lot more faith and trust than a lot of the other rogues- had a verbally abusive father but a doting mother

Jonathan:- grumpy and closed off but genuinely cares for a few- still keeps contact with a few of his old students- demisexual- mostly pissed at other adults, would never hurt a kid- I go with the Scarecrow Year One backstory for the most part

Edward:- gay as hell but a whore for attention from anyone- acts smooth but actually very easily flustered- shows he cares by being a pompous ass- trans, so both his first and last names at birth are dead- asshole father, mom left

Harley:- her and Joker’s issues aren’t as fucked up in my verse- but she was in an abusive relationship beforehand cause I don’t want to take that from her character- pansexual, loves her plant gf- loves everyone and collects on their interests- utilizes her degree to cheer up the other- good friends with Jervis

Ivy:- lesbe- lesben- …girls- actually likes meat a lot, just is very concerned that the animals are treated right before slaughter- same things go for produce- was in an accident in the lab giving her plant like abilities - mother to all, hurt Jervis she will break ur ribs- she cares for all walks of life; human, animal, and plant, she just gets very upset when humans don’t respect their fellow living organisms- mom and dad weren’t in the picture, she was raised instead by her loving aunt whom she still visits sometimes

Selina:- Bruce is kinda her play thing, they still chill though- I have a lot of bisexuals just sayin- animal activist, might end up solely killing PETA- she likes jewels and such but sells a lot of them for charity- also steals artifacts taken wrongly and sends them back to where they belong- orphaned when she was young so she’s made a family out of her friends

Harvey:- bi af I mean come on DC- please don’t take his coin, it pains him- asshole father- good friends with Ed despite the fact they get on each others’ nerves- still trying to get better- still very good friends with Bruce, they get drinks

Oswald: - grew up poor so works with Selina stealing and re-distributing money- sensitive about his education since he couldn’t get the best one- no father, a very loving mother who died later- was bullied often for his looks so he often hires those with features considered unattractive- tries organizing the rogues as much as possible though it can be like herding cats- loves his bf Ed and his chaotic energy

Joker:- speaking of chaotic energy- Batman senpai please notice me- was horribly jealous of Selina for some time but now they collaborate to get Bat’s attention- fucked up but trying- sort of- I don’t like a lot of the super nasty abusive gritty Jokers going around today, mine is more chaotic and the damage is usually a side affect he doesn’t really consider- I mean he’s still dangerous and yeah he’s killed people but no one that wasn’t pressing his buttons

Victor:- I’m giving him his wife back cause I can- sad and sort of shut down but tries to find happiness- fatherly, worries about the younger rogues- he’ll be ok, trust me

that’s all I got, there’s some rogues I’m not familiar with enough to come up with enough yet!

[hanasaku-shijin]

LWA19 liveblog under the cut:

oh god oh boy

FUCKING FINALLY IVE WAITED 4 YEARS FOR DIANA’S BACKSTORY LOOOORDD

oh jesus starting with the flashback baby angsT

WHEN

TRADITIONAL

AND MODERN POWERS

MIX

HOLY FUCUUUCKCK IT’S LITERALLY DIANA AND AKKO AAAAAAAAAAAAAH FINALLLLYYYYYYY

NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO MAMA CAVENDISH PLS

ooohhh my god oh my GOD

SHE’S GONNA  OPEN THAT GATE

FOR HER MOTHERRRRR

WAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAH

but little does she know she’ll need Akko’s help hueheue

wow fuck im gonna CRY

NOOOOOOPPPE NOPE NNOOOPPPEEE TOO SAD BYE

oh shit i just remembered andrEW is gonna be in this...........

pls be there for .5 seconds and then leave

oh no Hannah and Barbara cryiiiIIINNGGG

ALKSDJHG FUCK NOOOOOOOOOO

PROFESSORS DONT LET HER GOOOOOOO

i love that H&B dont even show they care it’s Akko they’re talking to they just spill the beans and dont even have the energy to be nasty to her like usual

w h a  t   th e  h e ll 

what is this “ritual” sounds fishy

IF IT’S AN ARRANGED MARRIAGE IM GONNA SCREAM pls trigger have more class than that

OH MAN TONIGHT

AKKO CANT HANDLE THAT SHE DOESNT HAVE ENOUGH TIME TO LET IT SINK IN

H&B crying sounds so painful BUT WHAT IF DIANA CRIES

FUCK ME

AKKO IS SO UPSET BY THE IDEA OF DIANA QUITTING

SHE KNOWS DIANA WOULDNT WANT THIS SHE KNOWS DIANA WANTS TO STUDY MAGIC MORE AND GRADUATE AKKO KNOOOOWS

holy shit im not even 5 minutes in but i just

i need to

i cant believe this is actually happening im FINALLY GETTING TO HAVE THIS

uWEH Lotte petting her little sprite ;w;

wow Akko just fucking BARGES INTO DIANA’S ROOM WITHOUT EVEN KNOCKING OMG

oh man she doesnt even hesitate she knows where diana is if she isnt at her room

she knows EXACTLY WHERE TO GO SHE KNOWS DIANA 

i s2g if akko sees her crying as she takes off and cant stop her im gonna lose my shit

oh my lord

it’s

it’s hAPPENING

A DIANAKKO MOMENT WHEN THEY ARE ALONE TOGETHER

FOR LONGER THAN .3 SECONDS

F I N A L L Y

okay i gotta *INHALES*

okay

im

gonna do this

HERE I GO

“it isn’t like you to leave something unfinished” AKKO HAS COME TO KNOW HER SO WELL AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAH

IM FUCKING LOSING IT YOU GUYS

if 

if diana leaves right fucking there right in FRONT OF HER

OH GOD

oh shit

Akko mentioned

Diana’s

parents

oh

oh nnoo

oh my god diana is bREAKING THE RULES FOR AKKO 

oh my god she’s about to cry you can hear it in her voice

I CANT DO THIS

noooooooo they’re doing this “rival” bs again

not rivals FRIENDS PLEEEEEASE

FUCK

okay OKAY in akko’s flashbacks of the people she loved Diana was there like 3 TIMES AAAAHHH THAT’S LIKE MORE THAN ANYONE ELSE I THINK??? idk i will go back and count later knowing me

lol andrEW was there once LMAO SUCK IT he was there as often as Arcas LOL

oH

SHE REVEALED SHE KNEW ABOUT THE WORDS

OH MY GOD THEY’RE TALKING ABOUT THE WORDS

DIANA KNOWS AKKO IS THE ONE WHO HAS TO FIND THEM

BUT THAT DOESNT MEAN DIANA CANT HELP AND AKKO KNOWS THAT

she’s gonna miss her professors and FRIENDS 

NOOOOOOOOOOOOOO

GO GET HERRRRRR AKKOOOOOOO AAAAAAAAAAAH

FUCK

FUFFFUFUFKCCKCK

you know diana left as quickly as she did cuz she could probably feel herself about to cry so she had to leave before akko could see that

on another note, wasn’t this episode supposed to have OVA-styled animation cuz im not seeing it

yo the Cavendish estate tho

MORE UNICORNS OHHHHH MAN

oohhh thank god Diana has a nice maid ;v;

ohhh FUCK

she’s smiling BUT

BUUUUUUUUUT

WAAAAAAAAH

oh my gOD

her fucking aunt LITERALLY HAS A SNAKE

W OW HOW FITTING

oh great a dinner party with andrEW and his dad probably so Aunt Bitch and him can make business ventures and shit to screw everyone over

W H AT THE FUCK IS SHE HOLY SHIT SHE JUST VANISHES??? UMM???

oh my god

akKO

HIIIIITCHHIIIIKE

holy shit cant wait for an audio blurb of that

okay look literally akko is so small compare to andrEW WHY DO PEOPLE SHIP THEM HE’S SO FUCKING BIG HE’S CLEARLY SO MUCH OLDER THAN HER EW GODDDDD

STOP IIIIIT HE’S LIKE 30

ew i cant even handle seeing her next to him like that uggh

OOOH more hints at violence and rage across the world

bet Croix is having a field day with that

oh yes good thank god they confirmed diana and andrew are related on some level so they cant be getting an arranged marriage thank GOD

so yeah i should mainly be worried for akko hhhhhhhhhhha

OH MY GOD

DIANA

ACTUALLY

RIDES HORSES

HOLY SHIT

THAT MEANS

YOU KNOW SHE CAN RIDE  U N I C O R N S

OOOHHH MY GOD EQUESTRIAN STUFF IS MY SHIT

OH FUCK

oh my god i literally predicted what akko and diana said to each other right off the bat i have a post where i CALLED THAT SHIT

but can andrEW leave now pls can we have more diana/akko moments alone

this is the first time we’ve seen diana wearing pants tho wow

OH GOOD andrEW is gone for now

oh my god Diana absolutely can not STAND these women holy shit she’s gonna lose it if Akko doesnt first, hearing them insult Luna Nova

oOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH

MY GODDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDD

IT WASN’T EVEN THAT DIANA WAS MAD AT THEM DISSING LUNA NOVA SHE WAS MAD ABOUT THEM DISSING AKKO HERSELF

IM FUCKING S C REA M ING

SHE

JUMPED IN TO DEFEND AKKO

TOOK HER BY THE HAND

HOLY JESSUS IM

i literally i need to  l i e dow n

oh my  god u guys they touched

in canon

im

i literally fucking im

holy fuck

oooooooooooh my god

I NEED A MINUTE

IT’S TAKEN ME 40 MINUTES TO GET 16 MINUTES INTO THIS

i need to

rewatch that part agAIN

MY GOFD

“AS MUCH A WITCH AS I AM”

WE ALL KNOW THAT ISN’T TRUE BUT HOLY SHIT DIANA IS DOING WHATEVER SHE HAS TO TO DEFEND AKKO

HOLY LOOORRRRD IN HEAVEN

oh my god akko

HOOO

DIANA YELLS HER NAME LOL

GETTING SCOLDED BY THE GF

oH

I love Anna

protective nice maid who was probably diana’s only friend as a child after her mom died

she silences Akko right away because she wants Diana to be heard no matter what, probably because no one else at that mansion will listen to her

OH MY GOD

THEY’RE PUTTING AKKO

IN ONE OF DIANA’S DRESSES

EL E V E N TH   BIRTHDAY

AND AKKO

FITS INTO IT OMFG

but ooohh my gosh this means DIANA TRUSTS AKKO

WITH THIS IMPORTANT DRESS HER MOTHER GOT FOR HER ESPECIALLY

OH MY GOD???

oh my god oH MY GOD

SHE’S GONNA TOUCH THAT BEAR ISNT SHE AND DIANA’S GONNA FREAK OH YMY GOD

OH

FUCKING

FINALLLLYY

WOOP THERE IT IIIIIIS

FINALLYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYY

THAT PREMIUM CARD

AFTER 18 WEEKS OF SPECULATION FINALLY IT IS CONFIRMED

YAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAASS

“Affection” is 

the Cavendish motto

holy fuck 

me and my shipping ass will let them show “affection” all right

OH MY GOD THIS IS AMAZING

oh boy is akko finally gonna learn about diana’s past and mom ///? PLEASE

oh my god is akko having dinner with them

IN THAT DRESS

AND DIANA

IN ANOTHER DRESS FUCK MEEEEEEE

OH MY GOD

final minutes what giant thing is gonna be revealed at supper??

oh my gOD AKKO’S SHIT TABLE MANNERS

diana’s like “how am i gonna live with this in the future when she’s my wife” LOL

oh my god is she gonna try to SELL him Diana’s stuff??? or worse HER MOTHER’S STUFF??? I BET YOU

OH

FUCK

NOOOOOOOOOO

NOOOOONONONNONOOONNOOOOOO

NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO

FUCK THIS BITCH

NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO FUCKING DOOONT

oh my god this is it

shit is going down

THEY’RE GONNA FUCKING DUEL OR SOMETHING

OH MAANNNN

oh

 my go d

i

im fucking shook

holy fucking shit

[bluesakurablossom]

Sorry if im annoying you with all these qyestions, I just love gettung answers! 😅 But what would happen if the boys found out their gf/wife and child were kidnapped by one of their enemies like shredder or krane? Like both the mom and child were out shopping and would be back later but it was getting late and they hadnt been back yet and they were extremely worried and anxious.

No please do carry on I love questions I don't get them too often, ask as much as you want :D

Leo: Oh boy anyone messes with his sakura blossom and his little tenshi, they are going to be in for an overprotective papa turtle. His wife and little girl were out doing some shopping for some outfits since his daughter's first day of school was next week, but he got worried after they didn't come home even after dinner was served. He tried to get a hold of her on her phone and even going out on the rooftops to where she says she was going. But when he did finally get the call from her it wasn't from the voice he was expecting and it made a chill shot up his spine........The Shredder! At this point Leo would be shaking not only with anger but with fear knowing that he could kill them within a second, but he put the fear to the back of his head and nearly broke his phone from squeezing it so hard in his fist from being so angry.

"If you so much as lay a hand on my wife or my little girl, you will be ever so sorry you ever messed with my family in the first place because Shredder.....no one messes with my girls while this man is around....and once I do find you, it will be the battle....to the death and I will show you no mercy!"

Raph: Like Leo anyone who messes with his tiger and his little man, they might as well of woken up the beast from beyond. His wife and his son were out in the park playing after his son had gotten out of school. But once it became nightfall and they haven't returned he is going to worry some since it was very common for a mother and child to stay out this late at night on a school night. He couldn't get a hold of her on her phone and he was now starting to panic. But once he did get the call from her, the voice that answered made the lava boil inside of him, The Kraang! If steam could blow out of his ears and nose it could he was that steaming mad, how dare they would take the two most important in his life?! Not his watch!

"You listen here?! Nobody ever messes with my babe and little rucker while I am around here! I am going to make you suffer before you even get the chance to do anything to them! You will be looking into the face of someone you never should of ticked off and you are about to see a whole new level of me and once I find you I will kill you!"

Donnie: Oh you don't want to see him when he gets mad, it's not pretty. He may be shy and sweet but there is anger down in there. It's like you have just let a bull storm in through a china shop. When he noticed his princess and little Einstein hadn't come back from the restaurant getting take out for everyone, that's when he starts to worry, he is able to track down and her phone and it does pick up on the first call but it's not who he expected and it almost made his heart stop, The Kraang! It would take a lot of his inner strength to keep it together long enough before he would destroy something that he had been working for weeks and he would be gathering every weapon he could think of for the rescue.

"If I were you, I would really think about you precisely you are going to defeat me once I get down there to get back my wife and son, I would be scared if I were you, and I would maybe want to beat out of there cause when I am through with you, you are going to pay the ultimate price for what you had done! Welcome to burning hell!"

Mikey: He maybe the bubbly turtle of the family but this boy when you mess with his family, there is a whole new side of Mikey no one has ever seen before. When he saw that his angel cakes and sugar cookie haven't returned yet from her dance practice he would start to get worry and he would go out on the rooftops to see where they were at, he didn't find them at the dance studio and he would be calling like crazy until he got the answer. But the Shredder answering him, might as well as lit a fuse to a giant stack of TNT inside of him. He would beyond angry and scared that he couldn't even see straight he would see nothing but red that's how mad he was. His knuckles would be white and veins would be popping out of his skin as the anger started building up.

"No one messes with my sweet girls! No one! I know someone that can tear you down in just a few seconds and trust me it's not going to be a pretty sight especially when it comes to my family....I know someone that is going to make this night a living hell for you and it will be a night filled with regret and horror. I ain't afraid of you and if you want to try me so much, fine I will come straight away and it will be.......the last night of your life!"