#he'd have to be an actual role model

[ciel-em]

The batfamily has so many kids. Are there any fics that shake them up and roll them out in whatever order?

I know there's reverse robins fics but they aren't the mood. I'm thinking of something like where the order is:

Duke, Cass, Damian, Tim, Dick, Jason

I want Tim and Dami to have middle sibling solidarity. They would be absolutely TERRIBLE together. I also think Jason deserves youngest sibling status. He'd be Duke's favorite after what the last three put him through lol lmao

And to bring in the angst, you can have Jason still be the first death in the family. The guilt that'll eat away at them for not being able to save him

[bhaalsdeepbat]

i really, really love that lae'zel is DISGUSTED by the idea of ever having to deal with pregnancy, but like. genuinely loves being a mom to Xan. and just loves that baby so much.

[pomefioredove]

Imagine the overbloat gang as fathers or like proud/panicking that their s/o is having a child and they don't know what to do

Imagine the gang trying to give their kids a goid life and getting baby fever like who wouldn't because the kid is literally a mixed of him and you and they gush about how much they love their s/o and children like ???????

Overbload gang as fathers and i will start violently sob

I do have a weakness for familial headcanons :) future au time??

*ੈ✩‧₊˚ as fathers

type of post: headcanons characters: riddle, leona, azul, jamil, vil, idia, malleus additional info: romantic, reader is gender neutral (no mentions of the child's origins), reader is not specified to be yuu, obviously takes place in the future

I think Riddle is one of the most reluctant to have children

for years he was strictly against them. his excuses were always that children are messy, unruly, his career, his relationship with you... but he was mostly just afraid of turning into his mother

as he gets older and forms his own identity, though, he realizes that it takes a lot of intentional effort to fuck up a child like his mom did, and he changes his mind

I can see him with... maybe two kids

he would never want an only child. after all, the bonds he made with his peers are what kept him going

he is a pretty good parent overall. maybe a little to focused on bedtimes and table manners, but the kids don't seem to mind

Trey and Che'nya babysit often (and it's always disastrous)

*ੈ✩‧₊˚

talking Leona into the idea of fatherhood is like diffusing a bomb with a blindfold on. the guy won't even JOKE about it

if you do end up with a kid, it's unplanned, whether that be pregnancy or baby left on the doorstep

but he makes a surprisingly(?) good father. defo a girl dad, he would spoil a daughter rotten. lets her beat the daylights out of Neji because that's his little princess :)

parenting is really not as scary as he thought it was going to be

he has "I'm just resting my eyes" *falls asleep for 8 hours on the reclining chair in the living room* dad energy

the hardest part?

pretending to like vegetables in front of the kid to set a good example

*ੈ✩‧₊˚

Azul would actually be an awesome dad idc. IDC!

he has a good relationship with his mom and stepdad (who definitely babysit all the time; they insist on it), so he has good role models

he's not even worried about how it'll affect his career! Azul has a "do it all" personality: businessman, entrepreneur, father, aspiring millionaire...

and he is so overprotective

he'd cover that kid in bubble wrap if you'd let him

but he's really more concerned about their feelings. sending them to school is much harder than closing a business deal

he's a little sensitive, but he knows he'll have to trust them eventually

P.S. the tweels are NOT allowed to babysit. bad influences

*ੈ✩‧₊˚

Jamil. ohhh Jamil :(

kids were never on the table for him, even after he met you and fell in love, he just... couldn't imagine it

regardless of whether or not he and his family are in a better place. (for the sake of this story, let's pretend they are. I want him to be happy) he just has so much generational trauma that he knows the child will end up with some, anyway

when, if, he's ready, it will still be a tough process. but worth it

he's such a supportive dad. bragging about his child at any chance, definitely the kind of dad to show everyone the baby pictures without being asked

it gets embarrassing for them as they grow, but he doesn't care

he thinks they're the greatest thing ever, and people should know that!

he is so proud

*ੈ✩‧₊˚

Vil had always wanted to play a father on screen, but once he hits that age, he starts thinking about real life, too

he's gotten where he wants to be, after all: he's still young, he's in love, and his career, as successful as it is, is starting to wind down. so, why not?

he is the most supportive partner you could ask for. despite his schedule, he's involved in everything (yes, even the messy stuff)

he's got a customized baby bjorn and everything

I can see him with... one. just one is enough for him. he also has girl dad energy. he's already looking forward to playing princesses and letting her do his makeup (terribly, of course)

he knows his child will grow to have their own wants and thoughts and personality, and he's supportive. besides, if he has another Epel on his hands, he'll know how to handle them

just... gentler, this time

*ੈ✩‧₊˚

for you, anon, I will enterain the idea that Idia may someday reproduce. but there's still a 50% chance that kid is a robot

joking (kind of)

I don't think he'd even really want kids. considering his own unhappy childhood and the whole curse of his bloodline thing. but, like the others, he can be convinced!

I think he'd make a pretty good father, tbh. neurotic, sure, but he's not too clingy, nor too distant

whatever kids he has will be smart, and he trusts them. he likes teaching them nerdy stuff, too (finally, someone he can infodump to!!!)

he probably ends up with more than he'd think. 2 or 3

as long as you never bring up how cringe he was in college, he's rather mature and prepared for anything

*ੈ✩‧₊˚

out of the whole lineup, Malleus is the the only one to have thought your future children while at NRC. daydreamed, really

I know, not surprising. look at the guy. he's practically kicking his legs back and forth while coming up with baby names in game

it was just a fantasy at first, then you became closer, graduated, got older, and...

Lilia began teasing him about getting grandkids, and Malleus took him quite seriously

he knows he's still young (though, at his age, Lilia was already general), but he doesn't want to wait forever. you both have many long talks on the matter

and end up with... as many children as you can handle, basically

Malleus is somewhat of an awkward father (having been raised by Lilia will do that to you)

but he cares. and he tries! very hard. plus, there's always Lilia, Silver, and Sebek around to lend a hand

[demilypyro]

My father chases ghosts.

In a moment of uncharacteristic boldness, I once questioned my father on why he treated me with such cold detachment. Why his advice only ever seemed to come in the form of lecturing, and why he never hugged me, or even said he was proud of me. His words in that moment caused the small amount of respect I had for him to shake. He told me that he saw it as the mother's role to love a child, and that it was the father's role to keep the child on the straight and narrow. After some contemplation, I decided in that moment that I disliked him, not just as a parent, but as a person.

My father doesn't have a father. He was the product of an out-of-wedlock pregnancy between an interracial couple in the 60s... My grandmother was never willing to speak about what happened to my grandfather. I can only imagine he didn't stick around long, since my father never knew him, and grew up with only his mother. And it's always been clear to me that this bothered him. The man idolizes masculinity. Maybe desperate for a father figure, he found role models in his grandfather, whose portrait still hangs in his house and which he treats with great care, and his stepfather, whose surname he took (discarding his mother's last name) and passed on to me. Supposedly, his stepfather left his mother in a matter of years, so why my father idolizes him so, I don't understand. I've never met the man.

Perhaps similarly, my father left his mother's care the second he turned 18. Having lived with my grandmother for some years when I was in college, I can honestly understand why. She is prone to smothering the people she loves. In light of that experience, it maybe becomes easier to understand why my father would prefer a more distant form of parenting. Still, I don't agree with his philosophy on gender roles.

Some years after I transitioned, I had a conversation with my father that stuck with me. He said that he actually saw himself as rather unmasculine, a possibility that had never once occurred to me. With that in mind, I suppose he is somewhat short, and not especially muscular. He told me he had always felt insecure about it. But, unlike me, he had never once considered abandoning the pursuit of masculinity entirely. Rather, in his own words, he felt he needed to chase it even harder. To live up to the image he'd set for himself. The ghost of masculinity.

A lot became clear to me in that moment. My father is obsessed with chasing ghosts of how he thinks things Should Be. My mother once told me how he had this "plan" for where he wanted to be in life at each age. He wanted to live on his own by 20. He wanted to be married by 30. He wanted children by 40. When he found out my mother was pregnant, he married her as fast as he could. My mother didn't really care, but he said they HAD to be married before the baby was born. Things had to go in the right order. According to him, that was just how things Should Be.

He was chasing the ghost of the perfect nuclear family that was denied him.

They divorced when I was eight.

In light of all this, it becomes very clear why he acted the way he did when I was younger. I wasn't how his child Should Be. No matter how many things I was diagnosed with, he never bothered looking into what neurodivergency was, or how to deal with it, and simply held me to the standards of a neurotypical child. My mother tells me that when I was six, he yelled at me in a store for wanting to try on a dress. His child being autistic was something to be ignored until it went away. His child being transgender? Forget it.

In recent years, I think my father has started giving up on me. In a good way. Seeing me become happier as my transition progresses seems to have finally convinced him that he doesn't understand what's best for me, at least somewhat. I speak to him maybe once a month. But I often mourn the idea of a father I could've been closer to. A father with whom I could have had a relationship of love, and support. A father I never had.

Maybe I'm chasing a ghost too.

[stevecore]

random shit keeping me up at night:

steve has no plans other than working at family video for the rest of his life until he randomly goes with eddie, jeff and garet to la to check out some shady record deal they've been offered, because being a formerly wanted criminal and survivors of the infamous hawkins town disaster doesn't hurt your cred as a metal band. all ozzy did was bite the head off one little bat.

they've sent out a handful of tapes and some actually get picked up, even though everyone wants money just to take a meeting. steve is planning to plant his pretty ass down on venice beach for a week and do fuck all when he's approached by an excited looking punk girl asking if he's ever acted, modelled, anything? he has a look. he has the look for a project she's working on, she's co-director, would he be interested?

which is how steve harrington end up playing one of the lead roles as an undead jock in the worst b-rate horror flick you've ever seen. the kind that gets passed around at parties as joke. robin makes fun of it for the rest of his life, but he's the best thing in it and it puts him on the map. he's got natural charm and comedic timing, and the fact that he's basically playing himself and everyone adores working with him keeps landing him bigger roles.

meanwhile eddie cannot believe his awesome scream king boyfriend and the fact that he's casually hanging out with some of eddie's heroes. he's filming with john landis. cronenberg wants him for project. barbara crampton gushes about working with him. steve didn't even know who half these people were, is an unrepentant romcom fanboy. when asked by fangoria who he'd like to work with in the future he says john hughes, and everyone thinks its a really funny joke. only eddie knows how much of a dweeb steve really is.

corroded's kind of dead in the water at this point, but they've got a solid first album and steve is pretty close with the director he's working with at the moment, and the film is in development mainly off of steve's typecasting anyway. so steve is like "sammy, what about a psychadelic metal concept album running through the entire film?" and eddie's like "did you just call sam fucking raimi 'sammy'?" and sam is like "sure, set something up" *shrugs and goes back to writing about a demonic witch cult that steve's unassuming quarterback has to fight off with a cursed bible and a nail bat in a small town in iowa (some of which is steve's idea, thank you very much, its a collab for the ages)*

corroded coffin's soundtrack ends up a success, and much later a lauded cult classic. they get signed by someone who doesn't work out of a basement. steve is a hit, and its the first time he sees this many people dressed as a character he played for halloween, which is a trip. dustin sends him a pic from a party at his college wearing his now iconic letterman jacket and the bat and steve has genuinely never been as proud of anything he's worked on.

he lands a tiny part with about two lines as 'guy who gets face eaten' in a john carpenter film and john falls in love and makes him kurt russel's younger brother in a lovecraftian story about a a mysterious extraterrestrial force unleashed during a solar eclipse. eddie munson shakes kurt russels hand for about ten of the wildest seconds of his life at the premiere party. he'll score a song for john years later, and john will remember how much of a hyper fanboy he'd been that night and enough time will have passed thats it funny.

steve takes him to dinner with bruce campbell, who likes to call him kid apparently while steve tells him to fuck off, hes 8 years older and a dick, and apparently this is some injoke between them. eddie is dating a dude that has injokes with bruce campbell. eddie barely eats the entire time, just keeps about half a billion questions about every minute detail of evil dead to a minimum and lets the guy breathe. he's pretty sure bruce knows they're together, even though they dont go around announcing it, and he seems cool. he signs an autograph that eddie only feels a little mortified about asking for while steve rolls his eyes.

and steve is like i dont understand why me being a kickass point guard for three years didnt do shit for you but getting sprayed by a fuckton of fake blood in this terrible stephen king adaptation impresses you but ill take it.

eventually eddie composes a couple of songs solo for a scifi that does reasonably well and just leans fulltime into scoring. as a personal favor, john and him chainsmoke their way through a few collaborations on eddie's first and final solo record in the late 90's. it's indisputably his best work, and he tells steve he can die happy now.

they're just an adorable little horror power couple and i live for it

[weirdmageddon]

i love these tags this person is so right

actually, can you imagine if dave was raised by B1 roxy?

i wanna get into this actually

(ok i had to spend a few hours rewriting this because IT DIDNT FUCKING SAVE AFTER FIVE HOURS OF WRITING WHEN MY COMPUTER UPDATED WHILE I WAS AFK so it would mean a lot to show this post some appreciation. i LOVEEE hearing what other people have to say)

even though these things mom does are presented in an extravagant, kitsch, jokey way, her intentions always came from a place of sincerity. she is simply Funnie

but rose reads too far into it and assumes things that aren't there, that her mother is passive-aggressively feigning interest in rose's interests simply because the things she does are so extra. "why do all of this if not to mock me"

im telling you right now if dave lived in this household he wouldn't assume antagonism, he'd go,

don’t forget who LITERALLY patented tangible jpeg artifacts as their post-scratch adult self and scattered shitty scummed up statue of liberties all over the planet. theres no way some of that overboard artful shit wasnt post-ironic / circling back around to genuine funny sincerity

dave's natural state is funny sincerity like roxy. he's had the natural capacity for this type of humor from the start and this is the direction he goes towards when he grows out of his brother's shadow by the end of the comic. dave and roxy share an earnest “so bad its good” type of humor

(lots more under the cut; the length of this meta analysis just got unwieldly with all the pictures and whatnot)

despite the alcoholism, roxy is a supportive mother. she's not the ideal guardian but hells of a lot more supportive of her kid than bro is. if she knew dave's interests she would totally indulge in them with some over the top silly goofy haha shit as a genuine gesture simply because she loves him

rose isn't too keen on it though. but she is more similar to dirk in her natural state of thinking of overthinking shit and assuming the worst, like the tags said

and yes dave got the sweet cuddly yet sometimes backhanded ouppy gene from roxy, probably even moreso lol

roxy's even said rose "sounds like girl dirk"

side tangent here, but this is something i wanna talk about.

i dont think bro should ever be in custody of children ever but if theres anyone who would be up to the task it's rose probably. i know she'd be able to keep up with him. not only does she have a defined personality (dave is more malleable and absorbs his environment like a sponge), if anyone can pick apart B1 dirk's batshit brain and probably be right on the money it's her. lil cal has been pumping patriarchal nonsense into bro's head and rose would be able to bring the fucking facts to the table without losing her own and being a living example of a badass little girl. i also don't think bro would try to force masculine roles onto rose like he did with dave, seeing as she is a girl, so she would actually have more of a leg up and get some passes that dave was never afforded. and rose wouldn't stand idly and accept any bullshit; she is no doormat. and i think this would earn bro's respect

but anyway, from this, couldn't we conclude roxy "sounds like girl dave"?

yeah okay. we havent even gotten into their penchant for funny typos or misspeaks, deliberate or otherwise

so, dave's environment

the sentiment "god you hope you can be as good as your bro at this some day" might have been genuine at the time when he idolized bro but of course he's not able to express that in any sort of sincere fashion because he's in dirk's fucking household. and this level 10 irony shit isnt doing dave any favors

his role models were the Internet and a vague idea of what Bro was like. So he built up his facade based on irony–not the literary definition of irony, as Rose might be quick to point out, but a popular concept of irony based on the idea that things that didn’t make sense actually made sense in some roundabout way. As a master of irony, Dave probably reasoned, he could see in a way other people couldn’t why a world that was scary and didn’t make sense really did make sense, and could therefore convince those people that he was superior to them. And he would wield his knowledge to maintain the appearance of superiority by calling everything ironic and pretending he didn’t care about things that didn’t make sense, and he would use walls of vaguely rhyming words to keep everyone at arm’s length so they wouldn’t discover his insecurities (source)

roxy's style is the embodiment of post-irony. being raised by mom lalonde would be like being raised by joel vinesauce ok

what can i say ….. (getting meta about this actually, hussie got these jpeg wizard wallpapers from a spyware website. link takes some time to load because internet archive)

rose is quick to read post-irony as actually being a joke/insincere, which in bro's case would be true. but i believe dave's natural instinct, outside of the influence of bro, is to read post-irony as genuine, which is exactly how mom serves it. we see this as early as act 3 from him; he understands her motives better than rose does herself:

and in act 6 intermission 2 i think it's pretty clear

but the thing is, it's always genuine from her. dave wouldn't have to second guess it because he's not one to naturally second guess someone's sincerity; that was learned due to his bro being virtually unassailable

there two types of ironies at play here:

seems like a joke, is actually genuine (roxy)

doesnt seem like a joke, is actually a joke (dirk)

you can make the argument that the second is is more psychologically destructive because it makes you question the reality of what is genuine sentiment and what isn't. dave never knew what was genuine and what was irony so he just sort of existed in this sincerity-ironic limbo and always did the opposite of what he genuinely felt on principle even if it always did originate from a genuine place.

"it just a joke bro i was just being ironic i dont actually x" is so much more trust-breaking and psychologically damaging than "wait are you being serious" / "i am being so fucking fr rn davy gravy" / "ok thats actually pretty fucking awesome. giant ass wizard statue" / "RIGHT"

how much about dave would change do you think? his character arc would be completely different for one thing, i think he'd have it good aside from mom's alcohol issues. he'd be left with the sweet and funny parts of him that we see at the end of the comic. the fake coolguy stuff is out, but this remains. this is dave in his element and we see it as early as act 1

he'd probably have no shades growing up in the lalonde residence* either cause those were given to him by bro straight out of the crater as an extension of his own cool image. and john gave dave ben stiller’s aviators for his 13th birthday to replace them so he could “spread his wings”

dave said he was wearing them for the ironies but i kind of doubt it. maybe post-irony but there was some reacharound to it being genuine because dave never put those pointy anime shades on his face again.

*though... it’s kind of hard to imagine him without his shades at all? B2 dave still got stiller’s shades from stiller himself so maybe getting them is a universal constant. i can imagine mom getting him them as a birthday gift cause shes pretty wealthy and probably could buy it out in an auction. but also itd be cool if john still gave him it as a gift

dave is actually a lot more genuine and easy to read than he lets on even when grappling with his upbringing with B1 dirk (again, see this post). this can be seen all throughout he comic but a good example is the evolution of thoughts about his interest in the preserved dead things in his room:

if B1 roxy was dave's guardian he probably WOULD have pursued paleontology because she wouldve indulged him in it and probably find it cool and worthwhile to pursue, instead of allowing dave to flounder under ironic detachment, being poisoned by irony to the point of gaslighting himself into believing he doesnt actually believe he thinks this shit is cool. even if it was indulged in this such a way; a superficially kitsch and ironic appearing presentation, it comes from a genuine place and inspires genuine interest. just read the comments.

basically, i think if B1 roxy raised dave, their relationship would have a surface level appearance of being bizarre or over-the-top but they’d have an unsaid mutual understanding that it’s completely in earnest and just build on each other's funny and absurd gestures of affection. rather than seeing it as one-upping each other, it'd more like collaboration of some silly bullshit that you take a step back and look at full and just say, "fucking incredible"

speaking of paleontology, mom had the proto-ectobiology lab. maybe they'd be able to use the equipment to appearify paradox ghost imprints of the dead shit to create paradox clones of things from the cambrian era??? sounds like a fun mother son bonding activity. and theyd actually put the sciencey shit in the household to use

oh god i know exactly the kinds of music shed listen too also growing up as a teen in the 80s. she on that (post)-punk/art rock/new wave/new romantic mtv stuff. XTC shit fr. this is a B-52S HOUSEHOLD. maybe the associates for the campy melodramatic flair. so he gets to keep the record on his shirt cause he is an enjoyer of the shit in her vinyl collection. dave would still gravitate towards musical expression and music itself but of more variety outside of just rap, with an 80s-90s, even 70s flavor due to mom’s influence. see this for perhaps a glimpse. ​she probably visited new york city a lot for business trips and because the music scene was cool as hell around that time, imports came straight from jfk airport, she probably got in on that a bit and have remnants in the form of vinyls and cassettes. in this way she could be distributing void to dave (influencing him with forgotten / presently irrelevant music). now he can REALLY rave about bands none of his friends have heard of. “hey davy grvay watcha listenin to” (he holds up vinyl cover) “omg snakefinger”

btw dave lalonde would look like this to me

[polish-art-tournament]

sculptures* round 1 poll 1

*and installations and some other stuff i didn't know where to put

Smok Wawelski (The Wawel Dragon) by Bolesław Chromy, 1969:

propaganda: This is a famous and beloved statue outside of Wawel Castle (pronounced Vavel) in Kraków. The story of Smok Wawelski goes that he'd been eating all the animals (and people?) in Kraków so the king ordered his sons to kill him, but obviously the dragon is very dangerous. The princes tricked him by filling animals with tar and leaving them out. He ate them and when he tried to breathe fire, his insides burned up. There is a second version that says a cobbler tricked him into eating a tar-filled sheep and the tar made him so thirsty he drank the Wisła (the Vistula, the river that runs through Kraków) until he burst.

Fun fact, those are not extra arms but rather extra heads. Also, you can text the dragon to ask him to breathe fire, and then he does. He gets thousands of texts a day.

about the artist: When I was a kid, I was sure this statue was the actual Smok Wawelski that had somehow carbonized over a thousand years, but alas no, a guy made it in 1969 out of bronze. Bronisław Chromy was an artist, a professor, and Dragon Mother. He passed away in 2017.

Pomnik Syreny (Monument of the Warsaw Mermaid) by Ludwika Nitschowa, 1939:

propaganda: The Warsaw Mermaid is the symbol of Warsaw, and her image is all over the city in various forms. She's a warrior and is depicted with a sword and shield. She lives in the Wisła River (the Vistula), which runs thru Warsaw. There are different variants of her legend, but they all have something to do with her involvement in the foundation of Warsaw and her eternal role in protecting the city.

There are several statues of Syrenka around Warsaw, but the one I picked was created by Ludwika Nitschowa in 1936. It is made of gunmetal, and it stands on the bank of the Wisła. The model for this statue was a Polish poetess named Krystyna Krahelska. Krahelska joined the Home Army during WWII and participated in the Warsaw Uprising. She was shot and killed while rescuing a wounded colleague. I think it's really special the way the myth of Syrenka played out like this -- she really did protect the city, like in the legend. Incidentally, this statue was one of the few pieces of art in Warsaw not destroyed by the war.

tldr: badass warrior mermaid, made by a badass woman, modeled on a badass woman. women!

about the artist: Ludwika Nitschowa is the creator several famous statues in Poland, including of Maria Skłodowska-Curie, Copernicus, and several of Fryderyk Chopin.

both statues were submitted by @slaviclore 🐉🧜‍♀️

[lxvvie]

Couples Shit with Simon Riley, Lovably Pissed Grumpy Cat Editon:

cw: alcohol and alcoholic consumption

If you thought sober Simon had grumpy cat tendencies, drunk Simon is on another level of grumpy cattiness, complete with the way he'll look up and squint his eyes in catty judgment every time you cease to stop scratching his scalp. Fuck you stop for, lovie?

Simply put: Splooting and snoring. On you.

Simon getting the munchies after a night out and snacking on your favorite snacks, y'know, the ones that don't (lovingly) hold a candle to his? Simon confesses that actually yeah, you do have good taste in food and you're the reason why his taste buds aren't so shitty anymore. The food choices are just one more thing to lovingly bicker about, sweetheart.

Your big bear of a soldier being a bit more talkative than normal while pissed. It's not uncommon for you two to be laid up, staring at the ceiling, and conversing about life. One time, Simon pensively revealed that "Mum and Tommy would've liked you and Pa would've been jealous..."

Similarly, Simon confessing all these life plans he had in mind for the two of you, what he'd do after he left the military, how you two would spend the rest of your lives together, travel, and annoy the Cap'n. Maybe. More than likely. OH, and he can finally stay naked all day and sleep in with you. This being said from the bathroom where he's taking the longest piss known to man. Oh, Simon. ❤️

Hand holding. Drunk Simon really loves to hold your hand. Loves to intertwine your fingers and compare the sizes. Gushes about how soft yours feels compared to his. Always talks about how you two "fuckin' fit" and if he could, he'd hold your hand forever.

Drunk texting you like crazy. Even when he's right beside you. Simon wants you to know that he loves you and that your ass is better than any pillow he's slept on. Er, thank you, Si-bear.

Speaking of drunk texting, remember when he let the fellas know he's a missus now? Yeah, he also spoke of the wedding plans. The Cap'n would give him away, Gaz would be the best man, and Johnny would be the flower girl but because he's, y'know, Soap, he'll just spray bubbles or some shit instead of throwing petals. OH, and that he really wants a Spring wedding but whatever color they choose for said wedding, please don't pick the color purple because it's overrated and washes him out. Huh???

After Simon suggests you two adopt Soap, he comes home with a drunken Johnny in tow and introduces him like he just got him. From somewhere, you guess. Simon goes on and on about how you two have to be good "role models" for Johnny as if he isn't a grown man who had good role models growing up. The picture you snapped of them cuddled up together on the couch (that you later shared with Gaz) sleeping the alcohol off was worth it, and Simon would much rather you and Soap not talk about it. Ever. ("What we have is special, Lt.—" "That'll fuckin' DO—")

Simon telling you that, as your missus, he, too, will wear a wedding band. On his cock. Because you love his cock and you love him. OH, and because he won't lose it when he's deployed. They don't call it a cockring for nothing, lovie.

[signedkoko]

Oo could I request romantic Vees with a reader who's this famous singer/idol in Hell? (Think, way more than Fizzarolli-level famous)

Valentino | Velvette | Vox [Romantic]

In which you are one of the most popular performance artists in all of hell. Reader is female.

Your name was more than just 'known'; it was plastered along buildings and chanted by millions

He was always scouting for personalities, following trends in people to see who he could drag down into his vicing grip

But you were untouchable, the first thing he couldn't command to their knees before him

Even so, if Val wanted to meet you, he could, and it was extremely new to the overlord to have to go out of his way to meet someone, but he felt it was worth it

He claims it was because you had possible talent, but those closest to him know he had a bit of a celebrity crush

Valentino is not one to be nervous; he would be direct when telling you that he wanted you, again and again, until you eventually granted him at least one night out, just the two of you

Once he has his chance, he'll pull out every stop just to hear you say that you'd like to see him again

He gets so distracted with you that he forgets the part about getting you into his company, eventually brushing it off by saying you 'didn't suit what he was looking for'

Avoiding being under his contract meant he could never command you, which meant he never had anything to be angry with you about

According to him, you were a role model for all the demons he owned

Famous stars require famous stylists, and who better than Velvette?

You'd actually reached out to her personally, since a lot of her work inspired your current stylists, and you wanted an upgrade for your tour of hell

Idol's like you were the exact thing people like Velvette dreamed of having in their portfolio, and she insisted on meeting you so she could see what you were looking for

In all her years, she'd never met an idol so genuine—most were snobbish, greedy, or just told her to 'do whatever'

You came in with photos of things you liked, hell, even fabrics you preferred, and a set list of what your songs would look like in order

She was already in love

You get her personal creations, and she insists on being the one to tailor you herself

" Only the best for the best, right? "

She can feel her bitchy attitude melt, and though she gets extremely bothered when anyone interrupts your sessions together, you ground her

It's not long before you two become official, and while she can't follow you into the deeper rings of hell, she will always be sure to watch your performances in the background while she works

She constantly calls you 'doll', because she's always dressing you up

Influences, aristocrats, idols—none of it was new to the king of social media

Everyone contacted him for their social management, or his team, at least

He didn't do much of the personal work himself; he had far too much on his plate, but he always checked on who was requesting his services

Mostly for the ego boost, knowing the image of so many self-proclaimed "stars'' relied on him

But there was also a list of people he wanted to work for, a list that brought his ego back down and told him he hadn't met his goals yet and had to try harder

You were at the very top

He'd seen a plethora of your performances recorded and reuploaded: best takes, most underrated performances, and unforgettable sets

But he'd never had the chance to see you live until he got a PR package regarding your newest album release

Him? It was certainly interesting to...no shot, you sent him hidden tickets for 'friends only'

He is not fangirling except maybe a bit; he's already cleared his schedule that evening so he can get there and making sure his outfit is cleaned up and ready

Your performance was out of this world, and he is beyond pleased when he is invited backstage to speak with you

There you were, taking off your earrings in your dressing room, smiling at him as if you were old friends

" How was the performance? I'm so glad you came. "

For a moment, hes almost worried you have the wrong person; he seems uncertain of what to say until you continue

" I heard you are hard to win over, so I figured I'd go all out before I ask if you'd consider running my new album compaigne? "

He acts cool, but when he gets home that evening, he is pumping his fist in the air and screaming

Author's Note - I was thinking lilith-level famous, you are THAT girl... Thank you for requesting! I went for a fem! reader because it was no specified

[creepswrites]

Dear, writter

May i've a request for Thomas hewitt, Bubba Sawyer,bo Sinclair, Lester Sinclair, and Vince Sinclair, With a hot wife fem reader, I want to see their life being a father to a hot fem reader. Because that is my dream. 💫Fluff💫

Please.... Your writing is so gorgeous 💋💋 master 🌹🌹🌹

Thank you so much

From your followers:

@kawaistrawberry21

awww i'm glad you like my writing!! hopefully you enjoy this :D

SLASHERS with a F! S/O who is their hot wife

THOMAS HEWITT

Everyone in town was shocked when you and Thomas got married

Thomas included but he never said anything about it

His family thought you were way out of his league, Hoyt was never afraid to comment on this to your face

But you love Thomas, he was a good man

So when he'd finally, finally, proposed to you, of course you'd said yes

When he found out you were having his child? He was over the moon

Luda May was almost as overjoyed, already making arrangements for the baby's room, making clothes, etc

She couldn't wait to be a grandmother and Thomas couldn't wait to be a father

When the baby's due date was getting closer, you could tell Thomas was nervous about if the baby would come out looking like him

But you reassured him that, no matter what your baby looked like, you would love it the same way you loved him

He was good with the baby, so gentle and patient, always happy to help when it cried

If Hoyt ever tried to give either of you a hard time, Thomas actually violently defended you, sometimes tossing Hoyt across the room with one arm

He'd never let anything hurt you or your baby

BUBBA SAWYER

Like Thomas, everyone was surprised when you and Bubba got married

Though his family were far more excited about it! After all, their brother was quite the catch

You got along well with his family even before you moved in, with Chop Top and Nubbins always commenting to Bubba how lucky he was to have such a hot wife

It always made your husband get all flustered, babbling soft nonsense. He was cute

When you got pregnant, Bubba and the Sawyer family were over the moon

Family was extremely important to them and they were happy for you and Bubba

When Nubbins made a very ugly little hat for the baby, you accepted it but told him gently it'd be too big for their head but that you'd grow into it. He was excited about that prospect

Chop Top and Drayton helped Bubba set up the nursery so you could just relax

And when the baby was born, Bubba was so scared of holding something so fragile and precious

But you helped him, guiding his arms to hold the baby, and he was in shock and awe

He'd never thought he'd get married, much less to someone as gorgeous as you, and have a child together

Bubba was a nervous father, usually letting your kid get away with anything so you had to be the rule-setter when it came to the kid

His brothers were menaces when it came to babysitting their niece or nephew

But both you and Bubba were happy. He'd protect you both, no matter what

BO SINCLAIR

Honestly? This was a major win in Bo's mind

If you think he doesn't show off for you, you're wrong. That man takes every opportunity to

He also definitely flexed to his brothers about scoring the hottest wife ever

Of course, his brothers were very nice and respectful with you, though Bo wouldn't let them be too friendly

He's got a jealousy streak

Whenever visitors arrive to Ambrose, he's always got his arm around you or bragging about you when you're not around

He's whipped, you've got him wrapped around your finger

But when you tell him your pregnant, you're shocked at how scared he becomes

Of course, he doesn't show it visibly, but you know your husband and you can tell when he's nervous about something

Eventually, when he starts trying to pull away from you, you corner him and make him talk

Some yelling and fighting ensues but he caves, confessing he's scared he wouldn't be a good father. I mean, he didn't exactly have the best role model and he didn't want you or your babies to suffer for it

But you reminded him you were in this together and he'd relax a little

You had twins, because of course you did, but this only seemed to make Bo all the more anxious

He didn't exactly... know what to do with a baby? He'd never really been around infants so he's looking to you for help on this one

When they're a bit older though, he'll let them hang out in the auto shop with him when he works

One day you come home to find him asleep on the couch with the twins curled up on his chest and you just melt

He's a good dad and a good husband

VINCENT SINCLAIR

Vincent was shocked you'd said yes when he proposed

He didn't consider himself attractive in the slightest but you said yes?!

I mean, you were stunning, he'd stared at you constantly even when you were dating and it certainly didn't stop when you were married

Bo and Lester were definitely jealous, teasing him to see him get flustered over how lucky he was

Unlike Bo, when he found out you were pregnant, he was excited

Nervous, absolutely, but everyone is nervous when they're having their first kid

He's so wary for you though, nearly had you on bedrest the entire pregnancy because he feared the worst

One time he caught you standing on a chair to reach something and he nearly had a conniption

But the twins came - because of course they were twins - and were healthy and beautiful

Vincent is so gentle with them, like they're the most precious things in the world to them

He makes little wax sculptures for their room to decorate it

Definitely encourages and supports creative hobbies for the kids! He gets them finger paints and crayons and the like

You've woken up in the night because of the babies crying but Vincent is already up, ready to help

Vincent's mastered carrying them both with an arm each and its very cute

Sometimes you catch him holding one of the twins and humming softly to them as they sleep in his arms, just swaying together in the kitchen

You feel so lucky but he feels even luckier to have you and your kids

LESTER SINCLAIR

Lester is by far the most... stable? So you'd been instantly drawn to that about him

He'd always get so flustered, bringing you flowers and blushing like a madman while you were dating

It took him the longest to propose to you though, he always felt like you were waaaay out of his league

Visitors came and would gawk at you and he'd feel a twinge of jealousy at the reminder that yeah, you could have anyone

But he did propose to you and you said yes because you wanted him, not anyone else

Neither of you had any shame in PDA, often holding hands or kissing in front of visitors

You lived with Lester and Jonesy in a little house on the outskirts of the town, surrounded by trees and very peaceful compared to the horrors of Ambrose

It had actually been Lester who suggested having a kid or two running around. After all, he had two older brothers so he was used to that business in a house with lots of people living in it

Over time, the two of you would have two kids, but they weren't twins

Lester was a good dad too! He was attentive and loving but he didn't let them get away with too much

He'd teach them how to shoot when they were a bit older because it was a fond memory he had with his own dad

Of course, Lester didn't have the best dad to draw comparison to

But at least he knew what not to do. Surely that counted for something?

You'd come home from working a short shift to find Lester and the kids playing in the backyard, running about with Jonesy as they played soccer

Both you and Lester would do anything for your kids and you knew he'd do anything for you

[airybcby]

જ⁀♡⊹｡° the faded picture of a beautiful night

( bllk boys x gn! reader )

♡ a/n — part 2 to one of my fav things i've ever written ( part 1 )

♡ word count — 1.5k

♡ content — reo mikage x gn! reader, kunigami rensuke x gn! reader, nagi seishiro x gn! reader, ryusei shidou x gn! reader, set in the NEL arc (so slight spoilers?) , model! reader(reo), lowkey angst (kunigami) , barely abt the lock screen (kunigami) , childhood friends to lovers (nagi), forbidden romance(?) (shidou), teammates sister (shidou), ignore any typos or mistakes - not proofread!

♡ synopsis — some bllk boys (reo, kunigami, nagi, shidou) and what their phone lock screen is :)

⊹｡° reo mikage

reo mikage has had a phone since he was 12 years old, and with his family's constant traveling, the man had no drought of gorgeous scenery to save as his lock screen.

after he met nagi, his lock screen switched from a gorgeous scene of hawaii to a picture the school photographer had taken of him and nagi celebrating after scoring a goal.

for the longest time, reo decided that he would never change his lock screen until he and nagi were both playing on the same professional team and were the best pair of soccer players in the world.

that was...until he met you.

it wasn't supposed to happen, actually- chigiri was supposed to be the player for ManShine City that was going to be photographed to sell jerseys.

as fate would have it, though, chigiri ended up having another appointment and the role fell to reo to fill in for his teammate.

he walked onto the set and immediately he was drawn to you, a perfect person who had his last name splayed across your back.

"oh! reo, this is y/n, they'll be working with you today. play nice and we'll get both of you a raise!" the photographer joked, but even with the silliness, reo's focus was completely on you.

the photoshoot wasn't actually all that bad, you and reo worked together well and he decided that maybe he just had the smallest...teeniest, tiniest crush on you.

by the time it was over, he dreaded leaving without getting at least your phone number. "i was gonna ask you for yours too!"you laughed, and he thought he could die happy with just that sound.

by the end of the night, you and reo had been texting for hours, making plans for you to attend his next game, a coffee date, and he'd even offered to do another photoshoot with you anytime.

before you fell asleep, you sent him one of the preview pics from the photoshoot- a picture of you and him facing backwards with your thumbs pointing at his last name 'mikage' written across your backs.

he changed that to his lock screen the same night.

and now, 2 years later, that same photo is his lockscreen no matter how much you tell him to change it since you started dating a year and a half ago.

he told himself he wouldn't change it.

not until he gained the courage to ask you to take his last name for real this time.

and the box was burning a hole in his pocket.

⊹｡° rensuke kunigami

kunigami rensuke grew up wanting nothing more to be a hero, someone that people could rely on- someone who could make someone feel safe.

you didn't meet kunigami until he was playing at Bastard München, after he had gone through the wild card challenges, you had never known kunigami as someone who ached for the feeling of saving someone.

his lockscreen was just a picture of you and him at one of the BM galas that had been held for the last two years he'd been playing with them.

nothing too special, nothing too romantic, but also nothing that hid the one thing that could compete with soccer in kunigami's heart- you.

you never wished for anything deeper, anything more, you knew kunigami loved you and that was all that mattered.

until the two of you went to visit his family back in Japan.

you were only supposed to find the restroom, you weren't supposed to be looking at the photos on the wall, you weren't supposed to be peeking into a bedroom that you assumed was his childhood one.

and you weren't supposed to be feeling sick at the thought that you had never seen your boyfriend this happy.

the pictures of him as a child with a super hero figure in his hand and a cape wrapped around him, pictures of him playing soccer before he went to blue lock- a true smile on his face.

"everything okay?" you jumped as you turned to look at kunigami, staring back at you. "oh, yeah. sorry, i just wanted to see what your house was like! i like the pictures of you, you were so cute!"

he looked at one of the pictures, a slight scowl on his face, "yeah, come on, dinner's almost ready." he grabbed your hand and led you to the kitchen.

you loved kunigami rensuke, and he loved you.

you just wish you understood why he seemed to hate his younger self so much.

⊹｡° nagi seishiro

you'd known nagi seishiro since middle school, his head always shoved into his phone or another handheld game console- barely paying attention in class.

which was why you were his assigned tutor, for every single class.

fortunately for nagi (unfortuately for you), he had a way of making others around him become enthralled with whatever game he would be playing.

which is how you ended up being his lock screen at only 13.

well, really it wasn't focused on you- he was taking a picture of his new high score- that just happened to have you sitting in front of the TV with a controller in your hand.

For years after this, you and nagi spent your 'study sessions' playing video games, and eventually getting so close that everyone just assumed you were dating.

Except, the two of you hadn't really started dating until he was out of the first selection of blue lock, he had his phone so he texted you every night. and while, yes , he had reo- he strangely missed playing video games with you.

When he started playing for ManShine City, you tried to make every game that you could, and even while you two were apart you always facetimed and played co-op games together online.

nagi hadn't changed his lock screen since middle school- the one where you invaded his new high score- even when he got a new phone, he made sure to backup that photo every time so he could keep his lock screen the same.

he changed his lock screen only when you greeted him at his apartment after one of the games he thought you couldn't make

"surprise!! i know i told you-"

"is that a game?"

yes, actually, you'd brought a new game that you knew nagi had been wanting to play but couldn't get his hands on yet. "well, yeah, but-"

"do you wanna play?" and who were you to say no to him?

the game was easy for him, but you were so focused he didn't want to offer to help you. he snuck his phone out of his pocket and took a quick picture of you, in his hoodie, sitting on his couch, and with you tongue out in concentration as you played the game.

you didn't even know he changed it until you woke up before him in the morning and were met with your own face instead of the high score he'd kept on his phone for years.

"i look awful in this picture! change it!"

⊹｡° ryusei shidou

shidou ryusei decided he was going to have you no matter what the first time he laid eyes on you.

you were at a 'family and friends' get together that the PXG team was hosting before their game next week, but he could not figure out who you were related to- and he knew none of the chumps on his team could date someone as gorgeous as you.

you were in a corner, alone, just people watching as everyone else mingled. so shidou did what he does best, be loud and abrasive, and immediately walk over to you.

"well, helloooo there pretty lady-" "hands off my sister, you freak." karasu magically appeared. "oh, tabito it's fine! we're just talking," you smiled and shooed away your brother, him leaving with a huff.

"sorry, who are you?" you tilted your head and shidou was a goner. someone who didn't know who he was? someone he could impress? someone this beautiful had their attention on him?

he was known to be confident, but for some reason when he was around you- even if he had just met you - he felt like he was actually his own age, just a nervous teenage boy who really wanted to impress you.

you and him spent the rest of the night talking- with some occasional interruptions from tabito just to make sure he wasn't 'making you uncomfortable'

by the end of the night, shidou had gotten your number, and resorted to texting you when he was pulled away for a singular team photo before immediately attaching back to your side.

you weren't supposed to talk to him, tabito had told you of all the people on the team- he was the one that you shouldn't be around. for some reason, though, shidou was the only person who made this dumb party seem bearable.

you had taken several pictures with him- one where you were kissing his cheek while he had his hands below his chin like a pretty princess.

after the party- you texted him the photo of the two of you, along with a silly goodnight text.

shidou had never felt like this, so desperately in need of being around someone, he immediately changed his lock screen to the picture of the two of you.

screw what tabito thought, you would be shidou ryusei's soon enough. no matter who would hate him because of it.

is it REALLY an airy post if there's not childhood best friends to lovers? I plan to make at least 1 more part :) ( can you tell i got lazy at shidou's part?)

tags: @amelielovess , @ohagiyo

likes, comments, and reblogs are appreciated!

[lassieposting]

Actually. Y'all know those animal videos that are like My Dog Was Raised By Cats And Now He Purrs or This Duck Thinks He's A Dog or Mama Cat Raised Puppy Alongside Kittens?

That is. Probably what happens to Owlbear Cub.

Because he's not really being raised as an owlbear. He was, for a bit, but he didn't have a mom for very long. His primary role model now is Scratch, a goodboye. Owlbear Cub is, basically, being raised as a weird dog.

So it seems natural that he'd start copying Scratch's behaviours, to bond with his new family. And those would become habits, settled in beside his instinctive owlbear behaviours.

Scratch likes to play fetch? One day, it's Owlbear Cub who returns the ball to Shadowheart.

Scratch gets up to go lay his head on Astarion's chest when he starts to twitch and sob in his not-sleep? Owlbear Cub will go with him, and curl up there too.

Scratch enjoys chewing on Wyll's socks? Owlbear Cub...doesn't like chewing in general, really, but he does learn that if he steals companions' things and runs around the camp with them, they will chase him, and he thinks that's great fun! Gale's trousers, discarded on the floor of his tent. Astarion's shirt, snatched off the drying line. Minsc's underpants, at one point, which is still better than trying to eat Boo.

(They still haven't managed to stop him hunting small critters and dropping the bodies in people's laps, though. They're not sure where he got that one from, but Tav is sure he keeps doing it because Lae'zel and Astarion keep praising him for it. Their justifications are, respectively, "The creature is a drain on our resources; it is good that it is proving useful as a pest repellent," and, "Ooh, yay, fast food.")

Anyway, yeah. Little dude thinks he's a dog send tweet

[nevertheless-moving]

Considering the amount of emotional and moral nuance he managed to muster up immediately post Guanyin temple (despite having a terrible week and zero good role models) AND considering his front row seat to the dissection of Jiang Wanyin and Wei Wuxian’s downfall, I think that in a time travel fix-it, Jin Ling would actually be pretty successful at brute forcing yunmeng family therapy.

I mean he'd probably cry, but even that would be good! Because 1) modeling negative male emotions beside anger, and 2) Oh shit that’s shije’s kid we made Shije’s son cry, fuck, fuck! Bam! Instant high ground! Also he has the most authority of any second gen character by virtue of the fact that he could pull “DO YOU WANT MY MOM TO DIE??? BECAUSE YOU TWO ACTING LIKE MORONS IS WHAT GOT MY MOM KILLED! NOW SIT DOWN AND SPIT OUT ALL YOUR FUCKING SECRETS OR MY MOM WILL DIE AND I’LL BREAK YOUR LEGS!!” It would work! Tell me it wouldn't work!

Not to mention once he gets a few sect leader years under his belt, he might be the best person to manage a fix-it, in general. He's got perspective. He's got political training. Others might get too caught up on the specifics of the Wen remnants or the Ying Tiger Tally or Vengeance against One Person or Another — Jin Ling is critiquing the basic structure of how Wei Wuxian and Jiang Cheng are living their lives and he's getting away with it.

He would even be good at dealing with Jin Guangyao, the slipperiest motherfucker in the timeline. Jin Ling's got as good a handle as anyone on his motivations, and he has sincere (if messy) affection for him, which would hit Guangyao right in his weak spot. Depending on your headcanons it may or may not be in vain, but he's got a real chance of getting the man to set some more modest and less destructive life goals.

Similarly, I think he'd do a pretty decent job at a harsh-but-fair critique of Xichen's neutrality and Mingue's rigidity and Huissang's delibrate uselessness, though getting them to listen would be more of a crapshoot.

All of this makes it especially funny how badly he would handle Wangxian.

For context: Wei Ying and Hunguang-jun are not just the gayest people Jin Ling has ever met, they are the gayest people he's ever HEARD of.

He wouldn't want to bring it up. He wouldn't mean to. He doesn't want to talk about it. But when he inevitably calls Wei Ying a slur only to be met with genuine bafflement? Jin Ling would completely lose his shit.

Because I don't think Wei Ying is going to get offended, or defensive, or have a response that his nephew could coherently mock. Wei Wuxian thinks 'hey these time traveling guys are actually pretty funny!' Him and Whom? Not even a serious topic of contention. You got me for a second, haha.

Jin Ling would break. Wei Ying eventually says something the effect of "I'm straight? Obviously?" and Jin Ling would nod once, start screaming, then climb across the table to strangle him.

It's — look. How do you fucking explain that all of the worst moments of your life were, in someway or another, characterized by Wei Wuxian and Lan Wanjii being FLAMBOYANTLY into one another.

The man who saved his life also killed his father and Jin Ling stabs him but it feels awful and — ok Lan Wanjii is cradling Wei Wuxian tenderly. Ok they're just going to go. They're leaving like that. Hunguang Jun was — is — was the Yiling Patriarch's widow, so that's another layer to add onto everything else. Hunguang-Jun is visibly expressing emotions with his face and voice and Jin Ling is going to go throw up now

Jin Ling's kidnapped at the burial mounds and everyone’s lost their spiritual energy and all his friends and family are going to die and — those two are smiling at eachother. They're telling inside jokes. They're holding hands.

Jin disciples (his own clans disciples) just shot at him and and Xiao-shushu really is what people sa— WEI YING SHOUTS ABOUT WANTING TO FUCK LAN WANJII

THEY ARE IN THE MIDDLE OF BEING KIDNAPPED AND HE DOES THIS

Jujiu is bleeding from the stomach and crying he's bleeding and crying his jujiu is doing that and Xiao-shushu caused it and his whole life is a lie and Hunguang Jun and the Yiling Patriarch are visibly groping in a corner.

And then they never stop groping again. Forever.

So yeah, I'm quite confident that if Jin Ling had to be even peripherally involved with coaching Wei Wuxian through a bisexual awakening and homoerotic courtship, he would explode. He would black out with rage. He'd make an honest and embarrassingly unsuccessful attempt at killing Lan Zhan. He would walk into a lotus pond and stay there until he drowned. He'd start heavy drinking. He'd punch a random passerby in the dick.

In conclusion, Need More Jin Ling Time Travel Fics

[swelteringfire]

I have this headcanon where delta and killer just absolutely bully eachother over the smallest things and color always has to interfere

Like for example

🔪: i lost at candycrush again ..

🔸: loser .

🔪: slut

🔸: whore

🔪: PUSSY

🌈: if you dont shut up i will personally punch you into a wall

🔸: hah

🌈: you too delta .

🔸: oh

Crying sobbing, took me so much time to finish it.

Yesyes, I feel like Killer would challenge Delta's boundaries a lot, too. Not always straight up crossing them. But then again Killer would probably do that with pretty much everyone, Color included.

It's probably something he did back in Nightmare's castle with Nightmare and the MTT as well. Probably one of the reasons why they'd all settle on the fact that Killer's "annoying".

While drawing this I was also thinking about Killer and Chara. I really want to learn more about these too but because Chara was a child that grew up with Toriel, they probably didn't use curse words all that much when around Killer, because that's what they were taught and it's something that stayed even after they died. And Chara being one of Killer's "role models" for a while, they probably didn't teach Killer to swear.

I don't think he'd swear all that much, not that he wouldn't be able to, of course he can. Maybe he'd consider that a waste of words.

I also got too lazy to actually change Killer's words or the scenario because most of that came up in my head when I was nearly done with the drawings.

[tokyo-daaaamn-ji-gang]

Hii ! Could you please do some husband/ father baji Head cannons. Tysm <33333333

Yeah, here are some for Baji!

Baji never really understood the whole wedding thing and what a big deal it was before he met you, then he suddenly realised how much he wanted it.

He's a very responsible dad, more responsible then his friends assumed he'd be but Baji takes raising a child pretty seriously, same as with his vet work.

Speaking of vet work, he did get a few things mixed up in pregnancy stage and asked questions about things that a human baby wouldn't do (after how many weeks will the baby open their eyes etc).

Tends to try to let you sleep if the baby or kids start crying in the night, he's always determined to try and deal with it himself (though he does need your help sometimes). 

Isn't afraid to tell his friends to shut up when the baby is sleeping (even if he accidentally wakes the baby up after doing this the first few times).

Struggles a lot to get out of bed in the morning when you're next to him, just wants to stay next to you. (You're definitely being forced to lie in with him on weekends).

He's pretty determined that his kid is gonna be strong too, like him. Will put his kid in martial arts classes (though if they show no interest in it he won't push them)

Is very protective as a partner, will constantly check your wellbeing and safety.

Is a very good mix of being strict and chill, actually a lot like how Ryoko was with him (his mother is his role model and he tries to parent in a similar way to her)

Puts in a lot of effort into all of your birthdays, doing his best to make the day perfect for you and the kids.

If Mikey has a kid around the same time then the two of them have a fun rivalry going, like who's kid will talk first etc.

Is a bit of a baby when it comes to taking medicines, doesn't like the way they taste and refuses to take them, you have to bribe him with other stuff he wants. 

Panics a bit when the baby first starts crying

Introduces his kid to all the neighbourhood cats and teaches his kid to feed them too.

Introduces you to all the neighbourhood cats too, he'll also occasionally bring one home and give you a pleading look as he asks if the cat can stay. 

Thinks men who won't change nappies or help out with the kids are weak 

Straight up congratulates his kid after they get sent home from school after a fight.

Tries to teach you a few self defense moves, just in case he can't be around. 

He's a very caring father who can be a bit strict at times but always does the best for his family

Your being married to Baji privileges includes being the only one allowed to touch his hair (at least while it's just the two of you).

Makes sure the two of you get plenty of dates (will spoil you a bit but he's denying it if anyone else asks)

Was so nervous about his wedding, Chifuyu and Kazutora had to reassure him a lot that it'll all go fine. 

Hates whenever he has to study long hours to become a vet because it means he gets less time with you and the kids. Promises to make up for it later though.

Being married to Baji also means having Chifuyu and Kazutora around a lot. Chifuyu especially does whatever he can for you, he respects you greatly for being the one Baji chose. They're also uncles to your kids and will argue about who the kids like more (it's Mikey because he brings them sweets)

Is very sentimental, keeps everything you and the kids give him.

As a partner he's very good at reading your moods and adapting to them. Your sad? Then he'll cheer you up. Stressed? He'll help you relax. Angry? Then he'll take you out somewhere to let that frustration out.

Is super glad when you get on well with his mother

He's a total family man, valuing you guys and his friends above all else. 

[cautiouslyyyoptimistic]

Everytime SQQ mentions how much of a lazy pretty boy he is an alarm in my head going "NO NO FALSE THATS SO WRONG" goes off in my head. Like, you're lying!! You're such a lier!! The moment you transmigrated you jumped head first in going above and beyond with your second life!! You know how I know?

...He hasn't done it because he had a twisted hobby inflicting corporal punishment upon the great male lead, but because he just couldn't endure it any longer. After taking over Luo Binghe's education, he'd mulled it over and decided that since he was to be a role model and worthy teacher, he ought to at least do some proper teaching. This way, after they fell out in the future, he would be able to utter the phrase, "Within a master-disciple relationship lies the grace of knowledge passed down," without reddening from shame before the words left his mouth. Volume 2 pg. 234.

SQQ went above and beyond, and honest to goodness, BECAME an actual attentive teacher. A good one at that apparently! His students adore and respect him, his colleagues see no fault in his teaching, no faults found among his community for years!

And we have proof that his teaching paid off with Luo Binghe specifically. Because earlier in volume 2 there is this whole thing about Shen Qingqiu being particular on teaching Binghe proper footwork and how to outmaneuver his enemies, which then cuts to Binghe using these particular skills against Shen Qingqiu and he's like "shit! He's using the stuff I taught him against me! And doing it flawlessly!"

Like, he didn't have to go all in and *literally* become a teacher/scholar/peak lord hybrid like SJ, and then also do every aspect of it ten times better. For funsies. For the immersion. But he did. Lazy my ass!

I mean, we already knew that SQQ was a lying lier who lies, but heres another example lmao.