#he'd be like the dragon from shrek

[ominoose]

Hi. I'm scared to put my name on this. But I'm gonna bite the bullet and do it.

I had a daydream recently.

I was a princess standing on the balcony of a castle, looking out at the kingdom below, and a dragon swooped down and snatched me up in it's mouth. I thought it was going to kill me, but it didn't.

I'm stuck in darkness for a while, until I'm dropped on a mountain of gold. The dragon stares at me for a minute, and I see that it has a brown eye and a yellow eye, wild wiry black and gray hair(?), and it's covered in scars on one side.

I get up to run and it immediately roars at me, before launching lava rocks out of its mouth. Not fire. Red hot lava rocks rocketing through the air.

Naturally I stop moving.

Then it starts to change. Shrinking down, down, down until I don't see a dragon anymore. I see a man.

Anselm Vogelweide.

I've been imaging Oscar characters as different monsters and this was the first one to come to mind.

Oh my god.... Thats such a good scenario.

Youre a princess locked in the castle and the dragon is Anselm. Except you're both close and he's just warding off annoying knights wanting to marry you for wealth and gain.

I need this in my life.

[catscraftsandcommentary]

I need Lambert/Milena in a Shrek AU.

Just imagine with me:

Duke de Roggeven insults a powerful wizard (we all know he would - he'd be lucky if it was only ONE) who then curses his daughters. All three of them.

(ETA: he pissed off Yennefer. Probably insulted her mixed elven heritage and/or her inability to have kids, so she went "alright. Let's see how you feel when YOUR daughters are inhuman and infertile monsters.")

By night, each of them transforms into a different non-human humanoid: Marta is a succubus (all her lust for power and a crown turned into a different kind of lust - and we'll pretend that succubi *can* live without sex, but they feel sick and hungry the whole time), Marika is an elf (still elegant and pretty, but inhuman enough to shock everyone - Marika didn't piss off Yennefer), and Milena is a witcher (Yennefer saw her strength and kindness and went "this suits you.")

Marta, of course, spends the entire time being FURIOUS at being some "sex obsessed half goat! I am the daughter of a DUKE! The ELDEST DAUGHTER! How dare she!" Marika isn't happy, per se, but she privately goes "it could be a LOT worse. I'll take it." Milena actually enjoys her new abilities - she's so strong! Her senses are much sharper! - and the eyes are rather pretty.

After being COMPLETELY HORRIFIED that his daughters (well, mostly Marta) are cursed to become non-humans by night, Duke de Roggeven locks them in a castle guarded by a dragon and then pretends that he's sent them abroad to stay with distant relatives.

Meanwhile, Marta is getting on EVERYONE'S last nerve with her constant bitching, Marika is trying to keep their lifestyle as pleasant as possible, and Milena...

Milena befriends the dragon. She thinks Villentretenmerth is fascinating, and when she learns that the three ladies who showed up to help the sisters are also dragons, she wants to learn as much as they can teach her.

(Marta refuses to acknowledge any of them. "I will not consort with beasts," she sniffs hautily, and locks herself in a private bedroom every night before sunset.)

So! Back in Redania, Duke de Roggeven has convinced everyone that Yennefer's line about "whoever breaks the curse will gain a treasure greater than gold or gems" means that they can gain literal treasure (and/or magical treasure) by rescuing and marrying his daughters, and not - to take an example COMPLETELY at random - their true love as a bride.

(Yes, true love is the cure. Of course it is.)

So the asshole king of Kaedwen hears about the supposed princess and holds a huge tournament - and Lambert shows up because "that fucker dumped a bunch of refugees in our mountains, the fucking bastard. Who does that?!"

Jaskier, being one of the refugees - and also a bard who can sense the potential for a good story - insists on coming with him. They 100% do the "Donkey won't stop singing until Shrek snaps at him to shut up - and then he hums" scene.

About five times.

(Geralt and Eskel either stayed home to help Vesemir manage the refugees or hang around the Kaedweni court to remind the king of his promise - and make sure he doesn't get any even WORSE ideas.)

(Lambert REFUSED to stay in Kaer Morhen when Vesemir was being bossy - "I get enough of him riding my damn ass during fucking winter, NO GODSDAMNED WAY." And his brothers very sensibly refused to let him stay in court longer than absolutely necessary because, uh, they've MET Lambert and they know exactly how badly it would go. So he gets rescue duty by default. At least the princess will be happy to get to Ard Carraigh and away from him. They send Jaskier with him to try to temper some of his, uh, Lambert-ness.)

Anyway! Lambert and Jaskier arrive at the tumbledown castle guarded by a dragon, and Jaskier is immediately like "oh how wonderful! How majestic! Look at that wingspan!" And Lambert is like "...remember how we're here to fight the bastard? We have to GET PAST HIM to rescue whatever noble bint got stuck out here."

Jaskier pouts.

Villentretenmerth finds all this terribly amusing, especially since he recognizes a witcher when he sees one. So he sticks his nose in their camp and asks (rumbles) "what makes you think that even a witcher can defeat the greatest and oldest of dragonkind?"

So Jaskier introduces them - as dramatically and fancily as possible - and states that they are here to rescue the princess.

Milena creeps out from Villentretenmerth's wing. "We are the daughters of the Duke de Roggeven, and there are three of us. I hope you will still take us home?"

Villentretenmerth sighs. This girl. Always getting underfoot. "I will let you take the ladies with you - but you must convince them to leave freely. If they refuse - now or later - I will take them back."

"He sent THREE girls to some remote fucking castle? Fucker. Yeah, I'll take you all. Jask, let's find 'em and get out of here."

So Milena leads them up to the tallest tower where her sisters spend their day. I can't decide if I want Marta to do the whole "sleeping beauty waiting for a kiss" thing (assuming that JASKIER is her princely rescuer and Lambert is just there as a guard.) If she does, she'll get a rude surprise when Lambert shakes her awake and tells her to pack anything she's taking with her, they're LEAVING.

So the guys get the ladies and lead them out - pretending to ignore the hissing and squabbling that said ladies are doing behind the men's backs - and are unhappily surprised AGAIN because not only are their rescuer(s) NOT a prince and his retinue, they don't even have HORSES.

The dragons, of course, are watching this with amusement...and no little relief at getting rid of Miss Complainer the Eldest.

I'm gonna say it takes less than two days for Marta and Lambert to have a truly nasty fight. She wants a horse. A private carriage, really, but she'll SETTLE for a horse. Purebred, obviously. And fashionable new dresses, and BATHS, and food cooked in an actual KITCHEN, and a private bedroom from sundown to sunrise, and...

Lambert is just like "look lady, I don't get any reward until I deliver you, I don't have the coin for any of that, and I wouldn't waste on stupid fucking luxuries if I did."

This does not go over well. At all. There are very angry words shouted about his lack of preparation, decorum, breeding, proper dress...the list is endless.

Lambert gives exactly zero shits.

Milena is watching the fight with interest - she finds him FASCINATING - and Marika is mostly trying to stay out of it. She agrees with Marta on most of the points - their tower-castle was reasonably comfortable, certainly more so than this long hike back to civilization - but also, freedom.

If only they were returning home instead of to a strange country...

Which is about when Villentretenmerth - as the human Borsch - walks into their camp, accompanied by the three dragon woman who have been tending to the sisters. "Marchionesses. Wolf. Bard. I warned you I would take the ladies back if they wished to leave your company."

"The TOWER is better than staying with this BARBARIAN," Marta sniffs. "And Father arranged for marriages for Marika and I already!"

(She knows she gets the crown prince - and she knows that Kaedwen's king is a murderous asshole. Being queen doesn't count if she's not alive to enjoy it...and she won't have allies there to help her plot regicide. She's ambitious, not stupid.)

Somehow, it works out that Borsch and his friends take Marta and Marika back while Lambert and Jaskier continue to Kaedwen with Milena. There is ABSOLUTELY a scene where Lambert is out hunting when bandits try to attack the supposedly unguarded noblewoman and bard, and Milena thoroughly kicks their ass.

Lambert runs back just in time to be HELLA aroused impressed at Milena. Jaskier is already composing an ode to her.

They arrive at Ard Carraigh. Stuck up knights send for the king, who pretends he's a decent person long enough to carry Milena off on a fancy horse. Half an hour later, just as Lambert is moping about losing his new friend, his brothers arrive and go "quick, where's the lady? We have to get out her out of here!"

A very confusing but short explanation-argument later, Eskel and Geralt are chasing after Lambert as he storms the royal palace BY HIMSELF, because like hell will he leave Milena to that monster!

The confrontation is absolutely the most dramatic thing Ard Carraigh has seen in decades, with the witchers storming in just after Milena is crowned but before she can kiss her new husband...

...whom Lambert immediately punches in the face. "HOW MANY WOMEN HAVE YOU KILLED?!? HOW MANY, ASSHOLE? Did you even bother to COUNT THEM?"

Everyone gasps. Eskel and Geralt keep the guards back with drawn swords.

"NO MORE! I *WILL NOT* let you murder Milena for your sick fucking games!"

The king tries to splutter something, but Lambert takes his head off before he can get it out.

And then the sun sets.

And Milena...changes.

Scars from her training with the dragons, greater muscles than any noblewoman should have, and her eyes...

She shrieks - not at the king's death or the witchers' violence, but at her own secret coming out. She's hidden it for so long, and so carefully...she'll never survive this. The Kaedweni court will turn her out, if they don't execute her with her (very briefly) husband -

And then Lambert takes her hand.

"Milena? Are you...okay? Did they hurt you? What happened?"

"I'm CURSED! My sisters and I are cursed - for years now!"

He looks at her. "Y'look fine to me. It suits you."

"Really?"

"I wouldn't lie to you. Never have, never will. And I think you look - good. Really good. The dress is kinda silly - "

Milena giggles. She thought the same thing, when her maids were lacing and buttoning her into the massive thing.

"But YOU are gorgeous. Always have been."

"You still like me? Even..."

"As mutated and scarred up as I am? I'd have to be a fool not to. You're the bravest, strongest, most amazing woman I've ever met."

And she kisses him. She has to, can't hold it back.

(Cue the curse breaking - and leaving her as a witcher.)

Obviously there's cleanup, but Milena IS the queen, and is suddenly betrothed to the man who killed the murderous previous king - so it works out.

And then Villentretenmerth comes back.

[ilyasorokinn]

thank the donkey , ross macdonald

note, okay, originally, there was going to be a big halloween series, but i couldn't think of anything that really spoke to me and i wasn't inspired, but i was inspired to write for ross. so, this is my contribution to the holiday. this is my new personality trait, get used to it. also, lmk if you like this little family because i do and would like to write more if you'd want to see it :) another note, i tried to find photos of the costumes but couldn't so please just use your imagination :) last note, dedicating this to vee (@abiiors)! i was inspired by your dad!ross, so in my world, ross is also a girl dad and names his daughters after flowers lol love ya <3 pair, ross macdonald x reader summary, poppy macdonald is upset her dad is working on halloween. her dad is even more upset he has to work. so, he does the best he can to make the night special for her. warnings, kids/children word count, 1240 words (a little short, i know. but i promise it's sweet!)

(gif not mine)

Halloween, no matter how old you were, was your favorite holiday. When you were growing up, most of the other kid's favorite holiday was Christmas, not you. Maybe it was that your parents went all out, or maybe it was that they let you eat all the candy you wanted, but it left a lasting mark on you.

So, when you had your first daughter, her second Halloween (the first you really celebrated with her), you went all out. You and Ross dressed up as poppies and Poppy was a gardener. She had no idea what was going on but she found it hilarious that her parents were wearing weird big flower things on their heads.

Now, Poppy was four, and her little sister, Willow, was 10 months old. Poppy had inherited your love for Halloween and by August had her Halloween costume planned. She wanted to match with you and Ross which made you a little sad, knowing that Ross would have to work on Halloween.

When you did tell her he was working, she was sad but her mood brightened a little when you told her she could still dress up for the show.

She was very adamant about being Donkey from Shrek, so you did your best to make that happen. The band loved the idea of Shrek, so they each decided to follow in your daughter's footsteps and dress up as a different character and assigned themself different characters.

Poppy was Donkey, Willow would be Puss in Boots, Gabbriette would be the Fiona to your Shrek, Matty would be Lord Farquaad while George, Adam, and Ross would be the Three Blind Mice. John would be the Dragon, Jamie would be Pinocchio, Polly would be the Big Bad Wolf and Gabrielle would be the Fairy Godmother.

Poppy was completely oblivious to everyone's costumes and was just excited to get to dress up and eat candy all night.

On the day, you walked around Detroit and got her some candy from a couple of stores that were handing it out before you headed over to the arena for soundcheck, one of Poppy's favorite parts of the concerts. She got to go on stage and dance around with her uncle and dad.

Before the show, after Ross helped you dress the girls, and after he'd left to get himself ready, Gabbriette came in and watched the girls briefly while you got ready, and took pictures of you and the girls before Willow started to cry. You soothed her then slipped headphones onto both her and Poppy. Poppy's headphones had a pair of donkey ears glued on and Willow's had a pair of cat ears.

You heard the intro to the opening song and held Poppy's hand as you walked to the side of the stage where you watched the show. Willow sat in the baby Bjorn comfortably and watched from the stage with wide eyes.

"Mommy." Poppy gasped when she saw the band dressed up as the characters from her favorite movie.

"I know." You gasped with the same enthusiasm as you bent down to her level, "Look at Uncle Matty." You giggled with her when she saw what he was wearing.

Ross looked over to the side of the stage and waved at Poppy, who giggled and waved back shyly. Poppy couldn't stop smiling as she looked at the band's costumes.

Somewhere in the middle of the set, Matty finally addressed the crowd and addressed their crazy costumes, "Now, I know we look a little crazy right because we're missing our main characters, but I'll have you know this idea was formed because of my little goddaughter. She loves Shrek, and I mean, who doesn't?" The crowd cheered at that.

"So, the littlest MacDonald is Donkey and her mom is Shrek. Strange, I don't know how we got there, but here we are." He shrugged, keeping everything about your daughter vague because he knew you and Ross didn't want people knowing too much about Poppy or Willow, "So, anyways, everyone thank Donkey for this genius idea." Matty and Ross looked over to the side of the stage where Poppy was beaming at the sound of the cheers.

The rest of the show went on as normal and right before Ross turned off the lights, Poppy ran onto the stage and over to her dad, which sent the crowd into a frenzy because Little MacDonald, Donkey herself, was on stage. The lights were strobing so there wasn't a clear image of her face which was why she was on the stage in the first place.

Ross picked her up and carried her over to the giant light switch that would turn off the lights on the stage. He waited a few seconds before he gave her a nod and she pulled the lever, shutting the lights off on the stage.

He carried her offstage and once she was in the safety wings, she was off and running to greet her uncles and godfather. Ross removed Willow from the Bjorn, surprised that she was still awake because it was way past her bedtime.

Now baby-free, you gladly accepted the drink Gabbriette was handing you, "She's gonna be up a while, isn't she?" Ross asked.

"I'm hoping for a sugar crash," You smiled, watching George pick up Poppy and run around with her like an airplane, "You did amazing tonight, by the way." You nudged him.

"Yeah, I had a donkey and an ogre to impress." He teased.

"I'm gonna save the smack in the head for later because you're holding my baby." You narrowed your eyes at him.

"I love you, too." He wrapped an arm around your shoulder as you followed everyone else into whichever room would be used as the afterparty room.

You rolled your eyes, "I love you, too, even if you're mean to me sometimes." In response, he placed a kiss on your head.

When you made it to the room, Matty was standing outside with Poppy, who was pouting, "Why can't I go in?" She whined.

"It'll ruin the surprise, Pop." He explained, tapping her on the head, "You like surprises, don't you?" She nodded her head enthusiastically, "Then just wait a second." Poppy turned to you and frowned.

"Listen to your uncle, flower," Ross told her. She frowned and crossed her arms, "Just wait a second." He laughed.

A few seconds later, Matty opened the door and nodded over to Poppy, "Cmere." She skipped over to him, gasping when she saw what was in the room.

The best part of Halloween, in any kid's eyes, was trick-or-treating, and everyone knew that Poppy was a little upset she was missing it, so in the biggest room in the arena, everyone spread out with little bags of candy, creating a makeshift version trick-or-treating.

"Here's your bag." Matty handed her a big bag before tapping her on the head once more. She didn't need to be told twice before she was running into the room from person to person, gathering candy.

You looked over at Ross, who was smiling with pride, "You planned this, didn't you?"

"Halloween's her favorite." He shrugged, before producing your favorite candy bar from his pocket, "Like her mother's." He kissed your head again, smiling as Poppy giggled.

"You're amazing, Ross MacDonald, you know that?" You smiled up at him.

"Says you." He nudged you, smiling equally as big and squeezing your shoulder.

-

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[spider-jaysart]

What’s Jon’s favorite scene from shrek? I can see him liking the part where he escapes from the dragon. (Especially the part where he slides down that slope and gets hit between the legs, he dies of laughter after seeing that)

Gonna be honest, it's been a long while since I saw the movie again, so I can't really answer much on that lol, sorry

But I do remember the scene you're talking about tho, so yeah, I think he'd find it pretty funny too lol

[man-monsters-and-aliens]

Heyy! I love your blog, and I wanted to ask - do you have any headcannons about the Aliens in MvA? For me Sta'abi seems like a Lesbian...

gaww I'm happy to hear! gosh headcanons are so hard for me, apologies in advance that this is all over the place!!

hmm since it's pride, for fun I'd say Susan & Link are bi, Doc is a transman & aromantic or gay, Bob is nonbinary & pan ace

Coverton is either gay or demi aroace, Sqweep is a nonbinary (trans?)girl & ace lesbian, Sta'abi is pan demisexual, although I'm never set on labeling them but that's my idea!

oh and Gallaxhar is ace, Derek is bi (probably closeted)

‌the monster agents have their own private island where they live work free, nicknamed "Monster Beach"

Susan, ‌Doc, Link, & Bob have separate living spaces, but they share the same (beach) house. There are 3 floors and 1 ground floor, which extends to Susan's area that is the majority of the entire building. There's a lab/garage for Doc's projects just off the main residence, but the real works are at Area 5X. ‌Butterfly sleeps in a cavern of the cove behind a waterfall curtain.

‌Link has a driving license, a piloting licence, and a fishing licence and soon a licence to kill yes he has a car it's his 2nd baby

Link deserves a stuffed animal collection I think, but of course, his no. 1 will always be the rabbit, and they're all grouped on his heating pad rock thing

‌Susan video calls her parents weekly, tries to visit at least once a month but its more of whenever she can

‌Doc & Megamind are buddies. Although when the agents first met Megs it was a monsters vs alien situation (or monsters vs megamind hehe)

‌Doc's cockroach research contributed to the development of adding longevity to the average human which explains why Monger can be 90 and look like that, a less mad science former partner of his is responsible for this

‌there's an international Antarctic base that holds alien tech from around the globe (or at least what isn't "important" in each country's respective secret governments), these are mostly big and useless other than for study, an alien junkyard really

‌not sure how this would happen but I like the idea of Derek occasionally covering live news of the agents at work so a running gag is him getting splashed, slimed, dusted, swarmed, and such

Derek must have majored in meteorology, so there has to be something there. it's a special interest in weather and environmental sciences, but he'd avoid ever being called a nerd so it isn't that well known. he also had a hobby in photography, then wanted to be in front of the camera instead

‌MVA takes place in the same universe as Megamind, The Croods, How To Train Your Dragon, Rise Of The Guardians, Home, and Abominable (Shrek is canonically fictional, so dreamworksception? implying live action Shrek actually)

‌Link's species, the "aquappe", are not directly related to homo sapiens, but one of the cousin's ancestors (homo erectus?). I like to think their species evolutionary process was very back and forth (like a whale), but eventually became modern day mermaids. Like apes and whales they sing, but Link's adjustment to speaking might have affected his vocal cords. He still likes to sing, just shy about it like in the karaoke music party.

‌Link's first language is sign, which he learnt from Monger and few others, he learned proper English from Doc & TV

‌Bob also learned from TV, and Monger talked to him a lot

Bob's consumption/absorption of any material helps him regulate his mass. He floats on saltwater but will eventually break down after a very long period of time.

‌Monger has back scars from asserting his dominance over Link, an accidental acid burn from feeding Bob, and a matching chemical burn with Doc after he showed off one of his inventions

before Area 5X, Monger hunted monsters under an alias, although he was unsuccessful because it turned into a monster romance on at least 2 separate occasions

[hellfirenacht]

I've been having thoughts I thought you'd like. Eddie is a DM, right? We don't really get to see him actually play dnd. So, how do you think he'd react to being a player? Would he try to break the game or get wayyy to involved? What class would he be? I would love to know your take lol

Okay so I have THOUGHTS about this. I actually cracked open my Advanced Dungeons and Dragons Player's Handbook for this. So this is all based off of my personal HCs combined with the original AD&D information that was available in 1986 (1st edition!)

So, all I can think of is when Eddie says to Steve in the Upside Down "Outside of D&D, I am no hero". Eddie WANTS to be a hero, he WANTS to do good without compromising who he is as a person. I feel like he'd build a character to reflect that.

So for race, I feel like he plays either a Dwarf or a Half-Orc. Dwarfs are non-magic and great fighters and I really don't see Eddie as being a magic based player. For Half-Orc I can see him relating a lot to being seen as an outcast so I think he'd like a monster that- Ah, shit. That's just Shrek.

My point still stands.

For class, there is no Bard in AD&D, fun fact there. And also that's too easy. I really lean into the idea of his class being a Fighter or a Thief, or even a multi-class. I feel like for Fighter he'd sub-class as a ranger, personally because in AD&D, all paladins HAVE to be Lawful Good. (This is going off the assumption that Eddie is cooking by the book here. I do feel like he sticks to the rules as close as he can, unless he can be convinced otherwise.)

So, for my answer, Eddie as a Dwarven Fighter/Thief makes sense to me.

As for how he plays....

As someone who is also a Forever DM, Eddie lives for the chaos and drama of being a player. He doesn't get to often, but when he does he is coming up with the most bat shit plans that he probably hoped his players would do in his own campaigns. He absolutely pushes the DM to their limit.

Especially in Hellfire Club, if one of the other members wants to run a one-shot it is at their own risk because I feel like Eddie toes the line between nightmare player and best player. He'll challenge you as a DM, but it is so worth it. Of course, he wants everyone to have fun and isn't going to steal the spotlight but he's always passing notes between everyone just to make the DM nervous about what he's going to do next. 95% of the time it's harmless. The other 5% is the DM needing a 10 minute break to reassess what the fuck just happened and come up with a new plan.

Eddie has learned to reel it in a little bit, knowing how frustrating it is to constantly be derailed and having to pause every half hour to figure out where to go from here isn't fun for anyone. But he's still Eddie and he will find a way to Cause Problems On Purpose during game.

[autobot2001]

Day 5; It's All Fun and Games Until Someone Gets Hurt

Fadnom; transformers Characters: Lily (OC), Veronica (OC), Jasmine (OC), the preschoolers; Audrey (OC) Leah and Hannah ( twins, OCs), Ratchet, Sideswipe, Sunstreaker, Sarah Lennox Rating: E Description; a fun game retelling the story of Princess Fiona ends with Lily getting injured. After she's taken care of, the group of friends end up joking while eating candy.

Angstober; dried and cracked Whumpober; "It's broken." AI-lesstober; hostage OC-tober; (skipped) Flufftober; create a fairytale retelling (I might not have done the fairytale retelling prompt right. ) Comfortober; treehouse

"You want us to what?" Lily asks. "Recreate a fairytale," Veronica explains, "but in a fun way for the three little kids. I think this is a fairytale only in the Shrek movies, but close enough." "You have this planned out, don't you?" "Yup," Veronica smiles, "we just need Sunstreaker." Oh boy. Lily thinks as she watches Veronica go into the house. I'm glad she's not trying to avoid him, but this might be too far. Even if Sunstreaker sometimes plays with the little kids. She goes into the house.

The three preschoolers and Sunstreaker are in the kitchen. Sunstreaker isn't bothered that he's eating with them. He's more focused on how Lily's friend is actually approaching him. With the struggle to get to this point, this is still a surprise for him. Sunstreaker isn't sure what Veronica is talking about. "Oh, I know what she's talking about," Sarah Lennox jumps in, "a kid's movie." Sarah explains the story of Princess Fiona in the Shrek movies. Also questioning what Veronica is thinking. "I think she's inspired by her drama club," Lily adds, "though it seems childish for a high school drama club." Veronica explains how she got the idea during drama club. She knew this would be more like playing since she will have three preschoolers involved. Sarah is more interested than Sunstreaker; who doesn't get why he would pretend to save Lily from a pretend dragon? As much as he'd rather the two femmes ask Sideswipe, Sunstreaker agrees with the idea. While this conversation is happening, Sunstreaker observes how often Lily licks her lips. "Come here," he pulls Lily closer, "what's wrong with your lips?" Sunstreaker does see that Lily's lips are dried and cracked. "Happens every year with the colder weather," Lily explains, "you never noticed before?" "And she licks off the chapstick she puts on," Veronica comments, "which definitely adds to the question, how did you not see this since you met her?" "Ok, let's go play this game before dinner," Sarah insists and goes to get the three girls ready. "How long does she think this will take?" Veronica asks.

Lily laughs upon hearing Veronica's idea, while Sunstreaker is displeased. "You want me to pretend three kids are a challenge?" "Oh, come on, it's just a game," Lily argues. "Fine," Sunstreaker sulks.

The little girls follow what Veronica is doing. Pretending to be the dragon protecting the treehouse. Sarah and Veronica didn't think Sunstreaker would let the kids tackle him to the ground. Lily stands by the banister, laughing. She misjudges he footing and goes cover the banister. Everyone watches Lily fall over the railing onto the ground. Lily says she's ok until she tries to get up. Realizing she has an injury to her right arm. "Shit," she says as she sits on the grass. Sunstreaker looks at Lily's arm, noticing the swelling in her wrist. Resulting in crying as he touches her wrist. "Definitely going to have to call one of the medics," Sunstreaker concludes, "Jasmine isn't here?" Sarah shakes her head to say no. Hopefully, one of them will come here. Sunstreaker hopes. Lily is in too much pain to move. I hope it's not a sign this is serious. The preschoolers get toys from the tree house, thinking that'll make Lily feel better. Everyone smiles at their cute attempt. Sarah tries to get the girls back inside, but they refuse. The best she can do is get them to sit on the ground.

Jasmine and Ratchet walk through the portal. Immediately greeted by Audrey. "Hurt," the little girl says, pointing to Lily while holding Ratchet's hand and leading him to Lily.

Sunstreaker explains what happened and how Lily doesn't want to be touched. Ratchet already came prepared with local anesthesia. Sunstreaker carries Lily into the makeshift medbay in the large barn ten feet from the back of the house.

Lily is calm while Ratchet does x-rays. She sits on Sunstreaker's lap while Ratchet looks at the X-rays. "It's broken," Ratchet comments, "and with the swelling, it's better to put a splint on for at least a day." Ratchet gets a bedside table to use to work.

As Ratchet finishes, Jasmine walks in with Audrey, who walks over to Lily with a lollipop. "What are you guys teaching her?" Sunstreaker asks, "also, where's mine, Audrey?" "You're not hurt," Audrey argues. "This helps when dealing with little kids who are scared of doctors," Ratchet explains, "even while I'm Audrey's doctor, she still gets scared. Ok, Lily, we'll take a look at your wrist tomorrow. Take over-the-counter pain relief. The local anesthesia isn't going to last much longer." "Play," Audrey says while trying to make Lily get up. "Just be careful," Ratchet says. The five leave the barn and go into the house.

Sarah, the twins preschoolers, and Veronica are in the kitchen when the others enter the house. They see Sarah gave the little girls lollipops, and Veronica has one. Sunstreaker sees the container of candy on the counter and gets a lollipop. "That's going away," Sarah says. "Hopefully, before Sideswipe sees it," Lily jokes. "Sees what?" They hear Sideswipe asks, before he sees the container, "that you're not sharing the candy?" "Get out of here," Sunstreaker argues, trying to shove Sideswipe out of the kitchen. The preschoolers, Lily and Veronica laugh, "you're a pain. Fine, a few pieces." Sunstreaker gets the candy as Sideswipe realizes what's on Lily's arm. Hating what happened and that she'll be getting a cast tomorrow. The twins decide to return to D.C. with Lily and Veronica since Lily still has school. "I doubt they would be staying here if you didn't get hurt," Veronica comments, making Lily laugh. Sunstreaker turns away, hoping no one sees him blushing. What's to be embarrassed about? We know you love her. Sideswipe asks. "Isn't Sideswipe your guardian, Veronica?" Sarah asks. "So we both have to go back anyway," Sunstreaker comments, "even if the Decepticons have been quiet, and we have groundbridge technology." "Oh, just say you don't want to be away from me longer than while I'm in school." Sunstreaker didn't think Lily would kiss him. "Ewe!" The preschoolers exclaim. "Let me interrupt to give Lily these," Jasmine comments, giving Lily pain relief. After Lily takes the pills, she, Veronica, and the twins take the three preschoolers to play. Sarah quickly hides the candy. "Well, this turned out good. I mean, Lily getting hurt sucks, but I think she's distracted," Jasmine comments.

[carry-on-my-wayward-gays]

I like that title!! I like the All's Fair(e) part because I love a good pun, and besides its Martyn so he'd approve of that/lh

What do you think some of the others would do at the ren faire? What would they dress up as/where would they work, all that!

Assuming we're working w a Life series cast-

BigB, Lizzie, and Cleo are all fairies (bc of Last Life) and go around doing typical fae things, like dousing ppl in fairy dust (glitter (color coded to each person)), and conning ppl through loopholes. Lizzie hand made all their wings and flower crowns as it was her idea. Tho Lizzie does have an after hours gig as a fortune teller.

It'd be easy to say Joel plays into the Shrek bit but the idea of him and Etho running around as pirates? Boat Boys?? Immaculate. Flawless. They pickpocket (from friends (they give everything back at the end of the day)) and frequently get into sword fights in the most inconvenient of places. Joel says he's the captain but does whatever Etho wants to do in a heartbeat.

Pearl runs a little soup stand in full Red Riding Hood get up. The soup is fantastic so ppl don't get too mad when she tries to get them to overpay. Impulse - who goes around in full dwarf and/or dragon cosplay depending on how lazy he's feeling - drops by sometimes when Pearl needs help w some heavy lifting. She's usually capable tho.

Speaking of! Would it be too on the nose to say Impulse is usually hanging around Skizz and Tango? And that Skizz literally shows up to the faire dressed as a whole ass angel w the big fluffy wings and everything?? I don't know what Tango would do - maybe something related to Create Mod? A little steampunk-y Tango standing on a corner or in between booths with one of those bags that opens up flat and it's loaded w pocket watches and other trinkets? Maybe.

Oh! BDubs is also another guard of King Ren. Yes he has the moss cloak and is terrible at sword fighting, but he has an uncanny sense for danger and is great at finding escape routes. Speaking of Ren, he plays into the werewolf thing. Meaning that under his crown he's got some wolf ears, under his cape is a tail, and when he speaks and grins you get a glimpse of giant canine teeth! It's a cool Easter egg for anyone who looks close enough and definitely hasn't sparked any rumors around the faire.

I don't really have any ideas for Grian, Scar, Mumbo, and Jimmy. And I don't think I've missed anyone,,, Skizz and Tango are up for revamping if we come up w anything else! Those were just off the top of my head.

[writingsnippetsthatneverupdate]

PROMPT: Shrek; 567 Words

Okay, so the general premise is:

Marinette is Shrek, except she presents femininely.

Donkey is Stephanie, Puss in Boots is Cass.

Jason is Fiona, except he went to his tower in the middle of nowhere because of Some Incident, and befriended a dragon and asked them to guard it for him!

Bruce is Lord Farquaad, and he is desperately trying to talk to Jason. He hires knights to break into the castle and kidnap Jason, since Jason burns all his letters and also this is BRUCE WAYNE we're talking about, healthy communication will happen Never.

Tim went to Bruce to try and fix his relationship with Jason and got cursed into an All-Seeing Mirror who also can't curse.

Adrien is Prince Charming and Gabriel is the Fairy Godmother.

Marinette's hired by Bruce and she becomes besties with Jason because she is absolutely INSANE while breaking into the castle, and Jason can respect that.

At some point, Marinette and Jason run into Adrien, who is getting ~taken advantage of~ by Gabriel to sell morally suspect products. (Perhaps Adrien is a Robin Hood-esque figure, except instead of stealing from his Dad he loudly advocates against his products?)

here's some tiny snippets i came up with in the #mgi-events-zone, mostly!

"Damn," the green woman said, looking mournfully at Donkey, "They don't even have dental." Donkey somehow managed to scoff. Behind her, Prince Charming choked trying to contain his laughter.

As Marinette rappelled into Jason's room (how the FUCK had she gotten that high), backlit by the sun, all Jason could think was: "If I weren't gay, I would TOTALLY tap that."

"Bruce," the Mirror implored, "Mr. Wayne, Lord Wayne, whatever you'd like to be called. I have three words for you! TALK. TO. HIM." Lord Bruce Wayne, one of the most powerful mages in the kingdom, put his head into his hands and sobbed. The Mirror, who really preferred to be called Tim, sighed. "Here we go again," he muttered. "I'm all-seeing, but apparently my boss," here he coughed pointedly at Bruce, "can't see the merits of the simplest solution that even a ten year old could have come up with."

Stephanie was remarkably humanoid, for a Donkey. Marinette asked if she was cursed, and Steph said, "Oh, yeah, totally, but less guys are jerks like this, and if someone falls in love with me as a DONKEY and kisses me, I'll break the spell just for the hell of it."

The Cat had a presence that few could measure up to. Even while leaning casually against a tree, she seemed cloaked in shadow. "Um, hi?" Marinette said. "Please don't murder me?" The Cat snorted. "Too easy," the Cat said. "We're doomed," Steph muttered to Marinette. She, regrettably, agreed.

here's some shitpost-format musings!

Bruce, desperately trying to tell his son he loves him through various knights: Jason, PLEASE LISTEN -- Jason, convinced his Dad is trying to murder him: I'M NOT FALLING FOR THAT, BASTARD!

Marinette, taking the contract solely for the money: Dude, those are some serious Daddy issues. How about this -- I'll go with you and tell him to fuck off. Also I'll design you better dresses, green is not your color.

The Mirror, who is somehow Tim: ... Bruce, what if. Get this. What if. You communicated with him YOURSELF. Bruce: I could never! Then he'd hate me! Tim: YOU MOTHER-- (the mirror-curse-mandated censor kicks in)--HUGGER! FU--DGESICLES! ARGH!

@maribat-get-in

[oocwhatsapp]

the creation of this side blog

leo:

dexter: you can

leo: :0 i CAN O M G SIDEBLOG first post; SHrek

pepper: you realize if he manages it this will just be like every other thing anyone says anything gunna b posted

leo: HEY just cuz you're right //also i find literally everything funny though, that's a good point

pepper: *heart face emoji, sad face emoji, call me bro emoji*

[stormee-jiiva]

Movie Night

You and Kyōjurō watch How to Train Your Dragon. He certainly didn't expect you to cry however.

Kyōjurō Rengoku x GN!MC

Pure fluff

This is really just for me but on the off chance someone else here absolutely adores httyd here you :D i wrote all of this on my phone while watching the movie but had ti switch to PC so i could edit it properly. also i swear i haven't forgotten about my kyo x dragon rider mc series

You two had been aimlessly watching YouTube and scrolling mindlessly through social media that evening before you'd suddenly snapped up from your vegetative state. "Let's watch How to Train Your Dragon." You'd exclaimed. Kyōjurō stared at you for a moment, surprised by your sudden outburst. When you turned to him and he saw the absolute childlike glee in your eyes combined with that adorable little smile you gave when you were trying to contain your excitement he knew he couldn't say no. As if he could ever say no to you anyway.

He knew the film was your all time favorite, anyone that'd known you for more than 5 minutes knew you adored the franchise. In the year that Kyōjurō had been with you you'd watched the 'Race to The Edge' Netflix series twice as it was a natural habit of yours to watch it once every year. But even then he'd never actually watched the first film with you.

"Kyōjurō?"

With your small call of his name he was snatched from his thoughts only to realize from the look of sorrow that lay almost hidden under your now nervous smile that he hadn't actually answered your question yet. "Of course my love!" He'd almost shouted, quick to get the words out before your expression crumbled anymore. As soon as the words left his lips however the childlike glee returned tenfold.

You quickly jumped off the couch and almost sprinted over to the TV stand, small almost manic giggles leaving your lips the entire time. Kyōjurō found himself watching you with pure adoration. You were absolutely adorable like this. It was like all the world's negativity no longer existed to you. There was nothing but pure joy in your heart right now and Kyōjurō soon found himself smiling along with you. Until he noticed you were pulling out the DVDs. Now he was confused. The film was on Netflix why were you pulling out the DVD? He decided to ask instead of just internally questioning your actions.

"Little Flame?"

"Hm?"

"Why are you pulling out the DVDs? We can just stream it."

You turned to him with a blush on your cheeks and the film in hand. "Nostalgia and because why not. As a kid I always had the DVD and we always just watch things on streaming platforms these days. We have a DVD copy why not use it. Get that authentic childhood experience!" You'd explained. As you put the disc in Kyōjurō smiled, he was honoured that you wanted to share such a personal experience with him and besides you had a point, you owned a physical copy, why not use it.

As the trailers for Shrek: Happily Ever After and other once upcoming DreamWorks films started playing Kyōjurō felt you snuggle into his arm. When he looked down he saw the wide toothy grin you had on your face he couldn't help but smile with you.

As you quietly recited the voice lines of the various characters Kyōjurō wrapped his arms around you, you were so adorable he just couldn't help it. When you hummed along to the soundtrack playing in the background he took your hand in his, you were so lost in the film you didn't even notice.

You were only part ways into the movie--specifically the 'Forbidden Friendship' scene--before Kyōjurō felt you bury your face into his side, at first he didn't mind and just snuggled back into you. When Kyōjurō felt a faint wetness against his shirt and heard the faintest sniffle he immediately turned to you with concern etched on his face. He gently cupped your cheek to coax you out from your little snuggle spot only to be met with teary eyes and the most adorable smile that had your bottom lip caught on your canine tooth. "Are you okay my Little Flame?" Kyōjurō spoke gently. "This is just too perfect. I'm watching my favorite film of all time with the one I love most. How could I not cry tears of joy?" You'd said whilst wrapping your arms tightly around his waist. Kyōjurō only held you tighter. How could he be so lucky?

By the end of the film you were bouncing your fists with pure glee, and as the credits rolled you began to sing along to the song. Kyōjurō eyed your bouncing form with love swirling in his eyes. It was in this moment Kyōjurō Rengoku knew what he wanted. He wanted to spend forever like this, with you.

The end credits song finished and the films various soundtracks started playing. You hummed along as Kyōjurō's thoughts swirled.

Romantic Flight started playing as Kyōjurō Rengoku took your hands in his. Taking you out of your little daydream.

"Will you marry me?"

[queen-of-my-goofball-army]

"The truth is we're both frauds. Your ancestors didn't send me, they don't even like me. But you risked your life to save the people you love. I risked your life to help myself. At least you had good intentions.

What? What do you mean you're not lucky? You lied to me?

And what are you a sheep?

That's it! Dishonor, dishonor on your whole family! Make a note of this; dishonor on you, dishonor on your cow!

Of course. I'm travel sized for your connivence. If I was my real size your cow here would die of fright." (Mushu, Mulan.)

I feel like everybody has that one Disney side character that they'd fight for and for a lot of people that character is Mushu from Mulan. He became easily one of Disney's most popular side characters. Throughout much of my childhood spent in front of the television the ridiculous tiny dragon was there for me making me laugh and feel better. He became a hug part of who I am andI feel like I owe a lot to my favorite goofball on Disney history.

Only one other Disney side character I know their dialogue and every line that they have. Only one other one I quote regularly with my dad as well. We're saving that comfort character for next month though, so be on the lookout for that! (I'll give you a hint that hint is August 11th.) But anyways back to Mushu. Mushu to me is about light and humor in every bad situation. He's about making light jokes and having fun with Mulan. He's also about being genuinely kind in my personal opinion and has one of my favorite vulnerable moments out of any Disney character. That moment of him talking with Mulan on the rock about what they messed up with doing in life became one of my most memorable Disney moments.

Only one other Disney character manages to be both funny and vulnerable. Mushu manages to both make me laugh and feel bad for what he goes through regularly with the ancestors that he works for. Even though he messes up and makes mistake that's why he's perfect for Mulan. Two very imperfect people who have both struggled to find their place in the world found each other and learned from each other that being perfect isn't feasibly possible. They'd rather be screwups together than be apart from each other (we don't count the sequel. We don't speak of that in this house.) The emotional core of Mushu is what carries his character and my love for him is mostly built upon that emotional core.

Even though he's vulnerable though that doesn't decrease the funny. I can't tell you how many times I've quoted him with one of my best friends or with my parents it's something that has stuck with me because right when I started getting into Mushu was when I started laughing at word jokes rather than people getting their head hit with a mallet (thank you for that Pinky~). The most common one has been with my dad "Did I hear someone ask for a miracle? Let me hear you say I? AHH! That's close enough." Mushu to me is days spent referencing his lines for every situation. It's learning lines that I found hilarious to make myself laugh on my bad days. He brought me peace and reprieve when I was being bullied and put down right after I moved during school.

I'm about to give my followers a controversial hot take. You guys ready for it? Eddie Murphy as Mushu >>>>>>>>>>> Eddie Murphy as Donkey in Shrek. I actually hate Shrek. I never found it funny and his voice always felt low key out of place there. But I love him for Mushu. I think that voice fits his personality. Mushu's personality has to be fast talking, snarky, sometimes a bit dry, loud and brash, but have that sensitivity to him that makes his relatability to Mulan seem plausible. Eddie Murphy is one of my favorite actors and comedians. I think that comedians lend themselves better to animation than your traditional Hollywood dramatic actor. They led themselves to bigger reactions which can make the character more dynamic than the others.

To me Mushu is about laughter in terms of growing up. It's turning on the movie when all everyone around me did that day was put me down and tell me that I was just some weirdo who wouldn't make it anywhere. I related to that feeling of worthlessness and not being happy with that person that you are. But he still finds peace with the fact that he isn't like everyone else around him. He learns that he'd rather be himself than what the ancestors want him to be. For years I've wanted to get a tattoo of Mushu on my arm that says "I'm travel sized for your connivence." I grew up loving his character and through that I was able to accept that I was different but still be able to be happy with that weirdness and that different sense of humor.

[shyjusticewarrior]

Roman and Virgil's Animal Onesies Theory

As my fellow Fanders are likely aware, Sanders Sides characters Patton and Logan both have animal onesie pajamas, Patton's a cat and Logan's a unicorn. This has caused people in the fandom to headcanon all the sides as having animal onesies, and even make fanart of it. So, what animals would the onesies of Roman and Virgil be? Well, I have my own theories...

First off, Roman. The embodiment of the classic Disney prince, I immediately figured his would be a dragon. Ultimate fairytale aesthetic, and he's said his element is fire, which is associated with the fire breathing creature. He'd probably act like the onesie was a dragon's pelt he got in an epic battle against the Dragon Witch. More recently, I've expanded on this headcanon. I was thinking about it and I, naturally, thought of Shrek. I decided his onesie should be pink in reference to the dragon in Shrek. Then something hilariously ironic occured to me; Shrek was made as a 'screw you' to Disney. It's no secret that Roman is pretty into Disney. So, of course, I headcanon even harder now that Roman's onesie is a dragon modeled after the one from Shrek. Especially since that'd make both his and Logan's onesies ironic.

And last but certainly not least, Virgil. This one might surprise people, but stay with me for a minute. I headcanon the onesie of Virgil Sanders, everyone's favorite emo, to be...a puppy. Stay with me, it's platonic moxiety related.

As has been established, Patton's onesie is a cat. Cats and Virgil have been connected various times in Sanders Sides. From him hissing at Logan, to "I usually sit on a surface not meant to be sat on," to the cat pillow in his room. So perhaps it's also the other way around, and Virgil's onesie is an animal connected to Patton.

In the Q&A video, Patton picks the dog emoji as the emoji that best represents him. Which makes sense: he's loyal, kind, energetic, affectionate, etc. He also wears a sweater with cats and dogs on it in the Christmas video, and dresses as a dog in the Embarrassing Phases video.

You got to admit, it's an adorable idea, especially if you're as obsessed with this friendship as me.

[beaniesflannelandfannypacks]

HolY SHIT MY DUDE. SO MANY QUESTIONS. SO MANY POSSIBILITIES.

I love the idea of donkey Alex X dragon Willie, but I feel like Donkey and Alex are way too different for that to happen.

I was thinking Carrie as Princess Fiona only because I cannot see Flynn caring about her looks all that much. But holy heck Flynn rescuing her, from a tower, with a dragon? And realizing they're true loves? Crashing a wedding for her? Yes yes yes yes yes yes hell yes.

On the topic of Julie as Donkey, can you IMAGINE Luke as a dragon? He'd just be like "oh man we never get people around these parts wanna hear this new song I wrote it has a wicked melody" and they'd just sneak past so easily 😂😂

Honestly watching Shrek 2 rn, my mind immediately went Nick when I saw Prince Charming. Nick and Caleb being related would be an interesting angle because of the possession. Also Caleb and Fairy Godmother are BOTH musical legends I will die on this hill.

Honestly Nick could also be lord farquaad.

Idk if this is cursed or genius but--

Flarrie Shrek AU.

I have strong feelings about this but I don't know what they are.