#he’s the ultimate. the god of his universe. he can do anything he wants

[starryskiesahead]

also i finished all of the disastrous life of saiki k. and

aaaaaaaaaaaa-

i loved it sm

kusuo saiki ultimate magical boy

[bluecollarmcandtf]

Don't get possessed!

You'll end up like this...

Gassy air bubbled from deep inside my soft, pudgy stomach. The smell of semi-digested beer wafted into my nose as my lips flapped in the gust of a violent belch dragging itself out. God, this body was disgusting, but this is what I did to it; this is what I did to him...

I used his cellphone to snap a pic of the sweaty slab of meat I'd been wearing for the past three years. It was the disgraced body of a former jock. Jake's stomach rumbled like it always did when I filled it to the brim. Even after all this time, it still hasn't adapted to the crap I've constantly been stuffing it with.

Swallowing yet another beer, I toss the can into the corner of his dark living room, where it collided with discarded pizza boxes and half empty milk jugs. I'd let the entire apartment overflow with the garbage generated by this once-godly body, and there was a lot of it.

The place smelled like a dumpster in the sun.

You might think this is a disgusting way to live. Well, I did too. Everything about the situation was nasty; the damp basement apartment, the stacks of dirty dishes, the closet of unwashed clothes. The entire place had a permanent stench of body odor, and I know it followed this body around everywhere.

I had never in my life felt so absolutely disgusted by my surroundings.

But that was the exact fucking point.

To explain, we'll have to flash back to a few years ago. Let me show you a photo of Jake when I first possessed him. I took this right after jumping into his perfect body...

The athlete had just gotten back from the gym. It was another perfect workout for the perfect jock, and I could feel the grit and intensity swelling in every muscle. The college footballer would normally shower after any physical activity, but I was happy to crack open a beer and bask in his sweaty glory.

I don't know if you could tell, but I am not a fan of Jake.

He was a pretentious bully at my university, and he got away with anything. I tried my best to stay out of his way, but ultimately found myself staring into the headlights of his fancy Christmas present: a shiny black camaro. The asshole ended my life while driving back to campus after one of his famous parties!

I hate to be dramatic, but I was not ready to pass away, and I was not going to let an asshole like Jake get away with my murder. The police couldn't solve the crime any more than I could console my mourning family, so I took matters into my own ghostly hands.

Jake, beautiful Jake, didn't have a single iota of remorse. He continued to get belligerently drunk, and continued to shame and ridicule anyone shorter, weaker, or fatter than him, which was just about anyone. The worst part was people let him: they allowed it because he was the strongest, the most handsome, the prize quarterback with a winning smile!

I had to do something to stop the piece of trash lurking inside his god-like body.

So I possessed him. And I did this...

When I took over, it was like putting on a body suit. As a ghost, I was invisible, so I got right behind and slipped inside. First, I shoved a leg in, then an arm, and then the rest followed.

He struggled, flailing the few body parts he still had control over, but it was in vain!

My head was the last thing to get situated, but once I slid it into place, his yelling subsided. His thoughts evaporated, and I broke in his handsome face with a wicked smile. It felt different, grinning with someone else's mouth, but I was just glad to have a body again. His was definitely an upgrade compared to my old one. The height I stood at, the breadth of my shoulders, the weight of muscular pecs hanging off my chest; it all took some getting used to.

I enjoyed living inside the jock's body, but I was on a revenge mission. The first thing I wanted to screw up was his diet!

I started shoveling massive amounts of fast-food down his throat three times a day, packing on forty pounds in just a couple weeks. Obviously, I quit going to his football practice and even dropped out from his classes. I needed the time to bulk his body up.

His teammates and coaches all reached out, but I told them to get lost. He took everything from me, so I wanted to do the same to him...

This is a pic I took of Jake's body after almost a year of controlling him. I wanted him to look and smell as awful as possible in public, so I kept him as sweaty and hairy as I could. Despite my best efforts, his attractiveness was still shining through. If anything, he looked like a hot, hard-working bear on the way home from the job, and that was not what I wanted.

This made me realize that I could destroy more than just his looks.

In his body, I marched back to campus and begged the manager of the university gym for a job. A bunch of his old friends were there to see it, so I made sure to act as pathetic as possible in the six foot hunk, practically grovelling for any position. I even dropped to Jake's knees in front of the guy, giving a lot of the gym-goers second hand embarrassment.

Ultimately, the manager offered me a janitorial position if I would shut up. I accepted it gladly, kissing the guys shoes with Jake's lips like some kind of submissive idiot.

So even though Jake's body was still attractive with the extra weight and fur I'd given it, the dingey old uniform of a janitor made sure to mark him as the bottom of the food chain. I wore it like a badge of honor, even if I never washed the damn thing. Wearing a stained boilersuit labelled 'janitor' everywhere definitely told the world what Jake was worth!

By that point, people really only saw Jake as a walking mop, if they even looked his direction at all...

This last picture is one I took after about a year of working for the school. No one had spoken to me (Jake) in that entire time, unless they needed a toilet unclogged. The man had truly lost any respect people had for him.

The overalls hide the giant gut I'd managed to grow on his torso, but you can look at the top pic if you want to see how fat and hairy I ultimately got him. He looked nothing like the explosive athlete he'd been a couple years ago.

I took that photo right before I released Jake's to his body.

The jock probably wouldn't recognize himself. He'd wonder why he was suddenly so fat and hairy. He'd be terrified by the janitorial uniform on his back and even more horrified by the layers of dried sweat swamping his skin. It wouldn't be until he realized how much time had passed that he would fully understand the punishment I'd carved out for him. I wonder how he'll react when he finds out that he's spent the last three years scrubbing floors in the gym instead of working out in it.

I wonder if he'll clean himself up and learn a lesson? Or maybe he'll just accept his fate and give in to the habits I've made for his body. I don't know, and I don't care.

I'll be long gone by then.

Honestly, I have to admit that it's kind of fun living like this. Disgusting, sure, but there's something about reveling in the laziness, the degradation, the stink. I never allowed myself to be so laid back in life. Maybe, I learned something from this experience with Jake as well. I'm starting to think I'll find a new body to possess and live in. Someone I can take over and use for my own immediate pleasures.

Maybe you're the right candidate! You've got a nice body I could jump into. You won't mind if I hop in and drive for a few years, would you? You'll be disgusted by the state I leave you in, but hey it's not like it's my body I'm fucking up, right!

[jarofstyles]

Letting Loose

Another installment of best friend’s dadrry!!

Now.... Listen. It's filth. Straight up, but their dynamic is building so you can see some stuff starting... hehe. PLEASEEEE let us know if you want more of them. xoxo 

Check out our Patreon for 100+ exclusive writings and early access!

Part 3

Reminder that Y/N is an adult and met him as one too <3

warnings- smut, choking, spit play (sorta), daddy kink, age gap, degradation, name calling, mention of ex, jealousrry, forbidden/taboo relationship, breeding kink xoxo

----

Y/N knew what she was doing.

She was taunting him. Teasing him. Making him mad. Harry was a possessive man, and both of them knew it. He had declared her body as his multiple times, now becoming every time they had sex. And ever since Lia had gotten a girlfriend, she had been out of the house a lot more- which meant that Y/N had been in the house without the risk of her friend catching her on her knees for her father.

Harry was a generous man in all capacities. He had let her stay when her apartment flooded, had always provided food and paid for her when they all went out, left money out for them to order pizza, even paying for their trip to Cancun after graduation. But it seemed his generosity knew no bounds when it came to Y/N, unfiltered.

His hands snuck underneath his shirt, mouth connecting to her bruised neck as she finished applying her nightly skincare. Lia had gone on a ‘mountain retreat’ with her girlfriend last night and wasn’t due home for another 4 days, which Harry was taking full and complete advantage of.

With an empty house, having Y/N there felt a bit like a different universe. Harry had been indulging in his touches, grabbing at her and pulling her into his lap, swimming with her in the pool, holding her to his chest while she made breakfast. He was borderline clingy, but he knew that’s how he was when he liked someone. Attached at the hip.

When he got his divorce, he had strayed far away from this sort of thing. He had his one night stands but ultimately had decided to lay off if anything romantic since his marriage had ended up being a disaster. Lia had been the one good thing to come out of it- and he knew he was playing a dangerous game, sleeping with her best friend, but it was more than that.

That was something else that scared him. This girl, this sweet woman who had come into his life in such a way that should make him take 10 steps back, had him closer to her than ever. Closer than he had allowed himself to be with anyone else. She was just… refreshing. Invigorating. Their conversations had been enjoyable pre-sex, her mind always impressing him with the things that came out of her mouth- but now that he got to see her with almost no boundaries? His admiration for the woman had increased tenfold.

Just laying in bed talking, bringing up moral questions and things that she believed, their fingers lazily linked together as she talked with her hands and moved them about- it was one of the things he loved the most. Then there were moments like the current one, where he hadn’t given her a moment alone in the bathroom.

“H, please.” She hummed, taking the peach face toner and placing it down. “You’re making me spill.” His mouth on her neck had distracted her from the task at hand, shakily applying the toner to a cotton round as she tried to finish her routine before moisturizer. It was a very strict and thorough one.

“M’sorry.” He sighed, pulling away from her neck but making no motion fo take his hands out under her shirt. Her skin was warm and silky, stomach clenching as his hands sprawled out over it. “Just… gets to me when I see my marks on you.” He rested his cheek against hers, looking at their reflection in the mirror.

While it was apparent that he was older than her, they looked.. good. He had been surprised the first time he saw it, how she had melted into his grip and blinked into the reflection with a nod. It didn’t look like a father and daughter- thank fucking god- but it looked like they were a good looking couple. One that people would perhaps understand the gap considering they were both good looking and Harry wasn’t an old bag quite yet. He did have some graying at the temples, but Y/N had let him know how much she liked the idea of him being a ‘silver Fox’.

“I know.” She peeped, looking at them in the mirror. A dark mark resided on the curve of her jaw, the other hidden under the skirt and on her thighs. “Can’t be so careless when Lia gets back, though. Unless you want me to make up a whole story about some guy I’m seeing again. We both know how much Daddy doesn’t like that.” Her tone was teasing, a faux pout taunting him about the subject.

So, maybe, possibly, he had fucked her within an inch of her life the last time she had used that excuse. That she had blamed it on one of those stupid boys she met at the bars and said they’d gone out and done the deed in the car when in reality, the origin of the marks had been from a few days prior when she had been at Harry’s office riding him on his couch. Risky, all things considered.

His jaw set as he pulled his hands out from her top, turning her around so he could look into her eyes. “None of that. You don’t have to get so… detailed in those stories either.” He huffed. “We both know that none of those boys could give you half of what Daddy gives you. None of the orgasms, none of the pretty gifts, none of the sweetness. So I don’t want t’hear about these fake hookups.”

Y/N liked this. When he got huffy and possessive, when he got the fiery glare and clenched jaw. She loved to taunt him and make him show her just how much he hated it. “No? Those boys can’t give me what Daddy can?” Her fingers trailed over his chest, tapping over his necklace. “That’s what your appeal is, isn’t it? Being a real man. Giving me all the things they haven’t gotten the experience to do. Even if it makes you a dirty old man to show me, you will.” Her eyes sparkled with mirth, fully expecting the next move.

Harry grabbed her hips and hauled her up to sit on the sink top before tangling his hand in her hair. “Watch it.” His warning made her shiver slightly, head tilted back by the firm grip he had in her hair. “Just hours ago you were on your knees begging for this ‘dirty old man’s cock down your throat.”

Y/N keened, a giggle leaving her throat as she grabbed at his shirt and pulled him closer, legs spreading so he could stand in between them. She loved to rile him up, to watch the flame burn inside of him. Getting his possessive reaction, this jealousy fueled her. She wouldn’t go off and do anything with anyone else- there was no desire or reason to. Harry had fully satisfied her every need. It was just nice to feel desired. To see him bristle at the thought of anyone else touching her because he wanted her all to himself. “I did. And I enjoyed every second of it.” Her voice was still slightly hoarse from the act. “Don’t need to get so jealous. You know I will end up with you. M’just covering for all the marks you’re giving me.”

“Don’t like thinking about it. Y’go out and reject all of them, I know you do. But the idea of it irritates me.” He exhaled, feeling her slightly damp fingers brush under his own shirt. Her head tilted back, her face bare from any makeup and glowing from the rigorous skincare routine she had just performed and pouted slightly up at him. “Don’t give me that lip, Petal.” His thumb caught it, tugging it down slightly before it snapped back into place. “Just like it when you remember that you’re Daddy’s girl, is all.”

The softened tone made her stomach dance, leaning into his hand with a content sigh. He took such good care of her. Y/N knew that she was playing a risky game but this sort of shit was worth it. “I am. M’your girl.” She peeked up at him with her own hazy eyes, letting her fingers catch on the waistband of his shorts. “Are you going to show me that I’m yours?” Dipping them in, she felt the prickle of his hair. Neatly cropped, trimmed to perfection, he kept just enough that made her mouth water. Enough to tickle her nose when she was able to get him down all the way.

“I’m going to make sure you remember for days, sweet girl.”

—-----

The sound of skin slapping filled the warmly lit bedroom. His bedroom was a sanctuary, somewhere off limits for anyone besides him- and much to anyone else’s surprise if they knew, Y/N. Soft, warm light emanated from a vintage lamp on the bedside table, casting a gentle glow on the room while Harry looked down at the girl sprawled out underneath him, clutching the white sheets he had spent a stupid amount of money on. He only wanted the best for her and her body. Knowing she would be staying the whole week, sleeping with him the whole week, he had made arrangements to have the best of the best. To show her what was possible.

“There you go, baby. Just like that.” The depth of his voice made her shiver under him. Her cheek was pressed to his pillow, knees up and back arched as Harry took her from behind. It was the second round, her body deliciously sensitive but aching for more. Aching to please him and make him let loose on her body. A large, warm hand held her waist as he guided her back on to his cock, watching as she fucked herself on him. Pressing back into him and filling herself up, letting her ass hit his hips and ripple and move just the way he liked it.

“S’good?” She mewled, eyes hazy as she stared vacantly across the bedroom. “You like when I do this? Just want t’be a good girl for you, Daddy. Want you to feel good.” Her voice was wrecked, slurred as she had her cheek smushed against the softness of the icy white pillowcase. Her mouth watered, sure to drip in a little bit, but all the girl could do was take it. Sex had never been this good with anyone else in her life. The older man knew exactly what he was doing and how to do it.

Harry had always been such a patient, calm, controlled man since she had met him. Never raised a voice, never did a single thing inappropriately. He had played all the right cards, but since she had seen him again and everything had changed between them, she could see another part of him. A part she was desperate to help let loose.

The older man had a wildness, a depth to him that was unexplored. A taboo part of his desires that he had never allowed himself to look at. Y/N could see it, could feel it unraveling with each day she spent with him. She made him feel safe but invigorated, which was exactly what she wanted to do. This was something so wrong in theory, but it felt so right. There was no way his hand fit that perfectly on her waist for no reason. She had taunted and tugged at the seams keeping his deepest, darkest desires hidden, trying to unravel them for him. To fulfill the pieces he didn’t know had been missing.

“I do, baby. You are a good girl, my good little girl. Make me feel so fucking good. Never get enough of you, always want you with me. Want to be inside of you every single fucking day.” The man knew that if he had his own way, she would be the one he woke up to every morning and the one he went to sleep with at night. This entire week of playing house had woken up a bigger urge, a primal urge for the girl. An ownership. He was greedy and selfish, but he was loving every fucking second of it.

“You can. You can fuck me however you want, do whatever you want to me. Anything in the world. I just want to make Daddy happy.” Her voice was whiny, face rubbing against the pillow he slept with as he watched her ass recoil with each throw back of her cunt. His cock was glistening with her arousal, wet and slick from her past orgasm. She was going to have bruises on her hips, on her thighs, on her breasts from his handling of her. There would be no denying the fact that she had been fucked deep and thorough, that he had spent time and effort into making her writhe underneath him. “I’m your girl. You said it, I’m all yours to do whatever you want. Be dirty with me, Daddy. Let go. Fuck me how you want.”

Harry didn’t know how else he could want her. This much was a fantasy come alive. The sweet, tight cunt clenching over his cock was heavenly enough. Her encouragement didn’t stop, though.

“Know you're holding back from me. Tell me how much you love it. You love fucking tight, young pussy? You like the change from soulless sex with your ex wife who could barely get you half hard?” Her giggle was cut short by a harsh slap to her ass, the sting making to fall into a moan. “Mm, fuck. I love that. You do, don’t you? Know that it’s risky but you like being inside of me. M’the best pussy you’ve ever had. Admit it.” Y/N’s panting words had him clenching his jaw- mostly because she was right.

He had gone from subpar, emotionless sex to this. To an exciting, adventurous, dirty woman who he most definitely shouldn’t be sleeping with but was too addicting to the heart and to his cock. A woman he liked too much to call a friend with benefits, but was too risky to publicly announce as his girlfriend- even if he desperately wanted to.

The words had a thread snapping, his body crowding hers as he pressed his chest against her back as his cock continued the deeper thrusts, knocking her thighs together a bit more as he covered her body with his own. His hand fell flat against her pillow, a deep chuckle leaving his lips- one that sent a dangerous zing up her spine.

She had done it.

“You are. You’ve got the best cunt I’ve ever fucked, the best mouth I’ve ever fucked, and as soon as you let me in that pretty little ass? That will be mine, too. Most useful set of holes that’s ever walked through my door.” His rough tone had her moaning, success spreading through her body as his opposite hand that wasn’t keeping him up slipped under the pillow to grab her throat. “Been so nice to you when you just antagonize me. You want me to be really dirty, baby? My sweetheart wants to hear what really goes on in my mind every time I see her?”

“Yes, yes, yes. Please, Sir. Please. I want to know everything.” She was showing her hand, showing exactly how badly she wanted to know what went on in his head. “Tell me. Tell me, I wanna do it all for you.” Y/N would love it if he was a little mean, if he was a little more rough. She knew he treated her delicately because of who she was but that was exactly why she wanted him to lose it. “Treat me like your holes, Daddy.”

Harry had been slightly shocked at the words, though he shouldn't have been. Y/N had always shown that she was a dirty girl, but the depth of it was still to be discovered. It obviously went past a bit of exhibitionism.

“My sweet girl wants to be treated like a set of holes?” He laughed breathily. “Fuck. What am I going to do with you. Silly, silly girl.” He tightened the grip on the sides of her throat, feeling her squeeze around him. His thrusts increased in speed, weight bearing down on her to make her feel him everywhere. He wanted her to be engulfed in him.

“Every time you walk in that fucking door, I want to drag you away. Want you hanging off my cock every time I get the urge, because I know you’d love it. Been dirty since day fucking one, dragging me into that poolhouse and making me be a bad father. S’that what gets you off? Fucking your friend’s dad?” He snarled, breathing against her ear as his balls slapped against her cunt, getting them just as wet as he wanted.

“Y-yes, Just you, Daddy. Only ever you.” Her weak reply came out, hand covering his that held her throat. Her eyes rolled back into her head as he gave it to her good, a new level to their activities unlocked. She had peeled back another layer of the man.

“Better have fucking been. But I know you’re a slut. Just for me. S’only ever been just for me. Just like you said, hm? Needed an older man to give it to you and then you got addicted. Poor little girl. Addicted to the one cock you shouldn’t crave.” His faux sadness made her whine, slickness dripping out of her cunt. The sharp thrusts and his tight grip, how she could barely move was one of the best things she had ever experienced.

“It’s mine.” Was what escaped her. The little thing had enough energy to say that, the stimulation to her body and the slap of his balls against her clit driving her dangerously close to her second orgasm of the night.

“Is it? Oh, silly little girl. What a desperate, selfish slut. You want my cock to be all yours?” He grinned against her skin, biting against her neck as he groaned. “It can be. You can have it. Drain me so fucking good, take all my cum so well, hm? S’what you deserve. Be a little set of holes for Daddy to stuff his cum into. You’re so good at it a-already. Fuck.” He hissed as he felt her cunt contracting, close to her orgasm. He could feel it, feel how close he had gotten her.

“You’re going to cum from that? God, look at you. Thought you were such a nice girl when my daughter first brought you home. Now you’re just a pretty cunt for me to cum inside. Think m’gonna keep you, though.” His prick was so wet it almost slipped out as his hips slammed into her, her quivering cunt urging him on. “Think I should make you stay. Should get my cum nice and deep and knock you up. What d’you think?” His grunted words sent her into a squirm, nodding reverently against his hand.

“Yeah- yeah, I’d want it. Can do it, keep me.” She babbled, eyes watering as she felt completely and utterly pathetic. The larger man was giving it to her just how she needed, the lightheadedness of his fingers rhythmically squeezing her neck and his dick fucking her better than any other thing she had felt having her right on the edge.

“Yeah? Gonna take my cum and give me a baby?” He laughed, drunk on pleasure. “That’s it. M’gonna do it. Drain my cum into your pussy and mark you as mine. Let it catch, let you get full of my baby and let everyone fuckin’ know who’s girl you are. F-Fuck, baby.. Please.” He grit out, mouth opening as he felt it. He could feel her falling over the edge, a broken moan escaping her swollen lips as he body squirmed underneath his own.

She gushed around his cock, whimpering out his name as the words and his actions had her falling over the crest. The slick, filthy sound of her drippy cunt being pounded by his cock and the grunts coming from the man above her filled the room as she could feel him finally starting to crack. His arm quivered, cock twitching in her pulsating pussy as he finally unloaded inside of her.

“Oh- oh my god, fuck.” He slurred out against her shoulder, biting down and getting a squeal from her as he growled against her skin. The most feral he’d ever been. His thrusts slowed but didn’t completely stop, Harry hellbent on fucking his cum as well into her as he could. He wanted her filled. Releasing the skin with his teeth, his tongue ran over the bite mark in apology, a grove of whispers growing from his lips.

“There we go. That’s my fucking girl.”

“Took me so good.”

“Wrecking me, m’so obsessed with you.”

“So proud of you.”

“Take such good care of me, sweet girl.”

They were followed with kisses, Harry lazily turning her head and connecting their mouths despite the odd angle as he finally stopped, letting himself stay buried inside of her. He could feel she had drooled a little bit, fueling his ego as he let them both cal down from the aftershocks of their orgasms.

“Mmm.. That’s what I’m talking about.” Y/N giggled tiredly, resting her cheek back against the pillow as he stroked the sweaty hair away from her face. “Told you I wanted you to let loose, that’s what I wanted. My god.” It was so good, she felt drunk. Drunk on good dick, apparnetly.

“Yeah.. well now you’re in trouble.” He mumbled, though the smile on his face indicated it wasn’t seriousl. “Didn’t know I had that in me… But now that I do, you’re the one who’s going to have t’deal with it.” He kissed her cheek, smirking to himself about how it had been so good she had let tears fall. This was a new high for him.

“I better be. We established that I’m yours and you’re mine. If I find out otherwise, m’gonna chop your dick off.”

Harry winced, shaking his head quickly. “No, baby. No. Don’t think I could get hard for anyone else at this point.” It was too true.

This girl had him completely and utterly fucked.

“Let me sit here for a minute and then I’ll take us to clean up. I’ll help you redo all your skin stuff.” He nuzzled against her cheek, placing a few little pecks on the hot skin. “Sorry I ruined it.”

“Trust me- I am never going to be mad at you for that when you fuck me that good.” Y/N snickered. Her heart did swell at the offer though. This man was unreal. “I’d be a fool to complain.”

[fatesundress]

⭑ observations ii. tom riddle x reader

part i here.

summary. two weeks after your last encounter with tom shatters all of your previous observations, tensions are high, and eventually, something's gotta give. (it's tom. he’s giving head)

tags. smut (so. so much. minors BE GONE TO WHENCE YOU CAME!), fem anatomy + reader is referred to as a woman by someone, fingering, cunnilingus, piv, again implied tall!tom or short!reader (take it however you prefer), jealous tom does not understand friendship but then again neither does reader apparently, a little wine is had, the room of requirement is used shamelessly as a plot device, did i mention smut, i’ve lost my mind etc etc.

note. this is a part two, so go ahead and read the first part and come back if you'd like :) obligatory preface: it's safe to assume any smut i write within hogwarts is a university au — these people are all 18+ tyvm. also woahh was not expecting the love on my last post so thank you! i'm still trying to figure this whole acc out so support, questions, (requests? never done those before) anything is appreciated ♡

word count. 6.3k

The next two weeks are agony. You don’t, in fact, stop meeting with Godefrey to study, because you do, in fact, still need a good mark in Ancient Runes and for all his faults he can reach the tallest shelves and he’s a faster writer than you. Also, Tom Riddle is fantastic with his hands but this does not make him God.

You find pureblood politics a bit archaic. You find muggle courting a bit stifling. This leaves very little space for what took place between you and Tom in the middle of a corridor two weeks ago (you can’t stop wincing at how insane that sounds) and very little patience for his utterly original and not-at-all entitled request that you halt your studies with Godefrey. Godefrey doesn’t stick his hands up your skirts while the two of you are studying, doesn’t silence your gasps with a shush and a finger to your mouth, doesn’t — wouldn’t (you’re so imaginative when you want to be) — tell you to keep reading as his thumb draws circles between your legs, tell you to repeat the words that get caught in your throat, tell you how much he likes it when your eyes go dumb and glassy and all you can say is his name. So, really, Tom should have nothing to worry about.

“I swear,” Selwyn says, picking at a plate you don’t think she’s actually eaten anything off with how distracted she is, “he’s looked over here at least three times.”

You don’t dare glance at who you know she’s talking about. “You’re obsessed.”

Pot. Kettle. Whatever.

“Are you sure you didn’t do something to upset him in Potions? Didn’t botch something that might mar his perfect record?”

You flick her forehead and she scowls. “I’m not an idiot, Selwyn. I handle myself just as well in Potions as he does — he wouldn’t —” Wouldn’t have complimented your rapport if that weren’t true, wouldn’t have said you communicate efficiently, make a good pair, probably wouldn’t have — fingered you in the hallway? — yes, that too. Slipped your mind. So easy to forget.

You take a long exhale, and smile impassively at her. “I didn’t botch anything, trust me.”

She finally takes a bite of food. “Maybe I did something…”

And then she’s lost in thought again, eating now, at least, and you shake your head softly as you watch what are likely a million different theories flitting through her head.

“Morning,” Tom says to you when you enter Potions after breakfast, a delicate smile tugging at his lips.

You have, of course, trained for this. 

It’s your fifth — sixth? — time sharing a table with him since that night and it is somehow easier by nature and harder by anticipation (of what, you have no idea) every time. The first was terrible. Unsalvageable and without a silver lining. It had taken almost an hour that morning to charm the violent hues of red and purple spanning the column of your throat, and ultimately, the marks were so persistent you’d forgone the glamours and decided to just wear a turtleneck. You’d been fortunate it was completely inconspicuous to wear such a thing in December, but that was about all there’d been to be grateful for. You hadn’t been able to look at Tom all class and his hand had brushed yours once to take a phial from you and you’d flinched so sharply it would have shattered on the floor if he hadn’t caught it. And he’d smiled, like he’s smiling now, a soft, “Careful,” that honestly, for a short moment, made you want him dead.

Now you could speak just fine, look him in the eyes in practised intervals, and almost, impressively, make articulate conversation with him again. Make stupid comments about Slughorn and Lestrange and bear the weight of his grin knowing it was there for you.

His, he’d called you. A very funny thing.

“Morning,” you answer on a smiling sigh, sleepy but jovial all the same. 

You deserve applause for this.

“Tired?”

“Mhm — Essays for Ancient Runes are due Friday and it’s been keeping us up all night.”

His eyes flash with something you’ve yet to ascertain. Your research has been put temporarily on hold, scattered and splintered by the revelation that your first observation was, admittedly, a little bit off, and you have no means of figuring out a look like that when you can’t even begin to figure out anything else.

“Has it?” he asks, a tinge less friendly.

“Well,” you say, grinding the lacewing flies, “that’s commonplace, isn’t it? You take all sorts of advanced classes, I’m sure you understand the work it takes.”

“...Hm.”

That’s it. That’s all you get from him.

And if Selwyn’s concern over you botching your work in Potions wasn’t already, obviously dispelled, the glee on Slughorn’s face as he assesses your and Tom’s cauldron should do it.

“Brilliant! Just brilliant!” He claps a hand over Tom’s back, regarding you both with pride so thick it clouds his eyes, like he's drifted into a revery of the future (you and Tom, you expect, are his most prized graduates, making history under his name, proving his immense wisdom) before he appears to return to Earth. “Ten points between the two of you, hm? Very, very good — though, of course, no surprises there!”

He chuckles to himself as he evaluates the other students, and you catch a horrified wheeze of Godefrey’s name (bless his heart) as one of the cauldrons in the back begins to sputter and froth.

You look to Tom with some droll little comment at making it to the end of term with top marks, but his gaze is burning into Godefrey’s table in such a way you wouldn’t be surprised if it was what was causing his cauldron to boil.

Well. Perhaps not, then.

You and Godefrey hand in your essay that Friday with more relief than apprehension — you both decide it’s quite good — and you laugh loudly and breathlessly as he picks you up and thanks you a thousand times, spinning you until you’re dizzy. You refrain from making any promises to attend his Quidditch games, but he vows to let you have the snitch he catches.

And Slughorn, you come to find, was not exaggerating his elation at your skill. After trotting after you on your walk back from Ancient Runes to invite you to the last Slug Club dinner of the year, your spirits are high with the blissful satisfaction of a job well done and a night to celebrate it with.

You can breathe, finally, when it’s the last week of school before Christmas break and Selwyn’s zipping the back of a last-minute dress you purchased in Hogsmeade.

“Gorgeous,” Selwyn says with a grin. “Wish this school would have a bloody ball so I could really dress you up.”

“Buy a doll, Selwyn; you can dress them however you like.”

“You are such a —”

You burst into laugher, swatting her wand away as she pokes your side with it. 

“Just — go then, before I hex you.”

“All right, all right!” you concede, arms raised in surrender. “Don’t ruin all your hard work now.”

“Oh,” she calls on your way out the door. You turn and there’s a mischievous look in her eyes as she tucks her wand back in her pocket. “And do tell me before I leave tomorrow if Riddle stares at you all night.”

You groan as if it’s a truly abominable thing to imagine. Riddle, staring with those dark eyes of his? You, the centre of his attention? Ghastly. You daresay you’d never recover from the horror of it.

“Don’t leave before I tell you how remarkably uneventful a night it was,” you say with a sidelong glare, and leave before she can edge in the final word.

You have no idea what a Slug Club supper typically consists of, but you imagine for Christmas he’s gone a little further with his festivities. His office is glittering in hues of green and red and fleecy, snow-dappled gold. The lights overheard (some similar charm to the one in the Great Hall but a tad less complex, you think) drip and then vanish into the air like squeezed berries, and the berries — served with pastries and ice cream — taste like they must be enchanted with something.

Selwyn was right that the standard dress isn’t quite formal enough for a ball, but it’s… formal. The boys are in clean-cut dress robes and the girls are in fine gowns of different lengths. By the overwhelming number of them you recall being archetypes of Slytherin pureblood fanaticism, it makes sense how expensive they all look. You yourself brush up nicely, if not a bit more frugally, but you haven’t been to an event like this at the school yet, and that’s exciting on its own.

It’s another degree of training (is there going to be a marathon? Are you at war?), a step up from your preparations before Potions every other day, to be ready when Tom Riddle enters the room a respectable five minutes late with a gleam about him more captivating than any of the lights.

“Ah, Tom!” Slughorn exclaims, and ushers him into a seat you remark before Tom is even in it is discomfitingly near to yours. “We’re all here at last… Supper, then? Hope you aren’t too full already, I’ve got the House Elves running laps!”

You’re spared Tom’s closeness by a Ravenclaw couple sat in the chairs between you, their hands clasped under the table while they sip wine from their goblets, and you only realise the length of your observation when Tom glances at you from the spot over, and you startle yourself into reaching for your own goblet and pretending to enjoy Slughorn’s bitter wine.

You eat. You listen to cluttered, unending tales of Slughorn’s time at school and how he earned his post. You drink, and then you regret not drinking before eating because there’s only a very light, very nice buzz that warms you when you finish your cup, and the Ravenclaw couple is — oh, wait, it isn’t just them — they’re standing up to dance as a gramophone sparks to life and a low, dulcet instrumental begins to play. There are now two notably empty seats separating you from Tom.

What had you said this night would be? Blissful satisfaction? 

You couldn’t blame Selwyn for suggesting you’d blundered Potions — you didn’t feel exceptionally smart right now.

“I didn’t know you would be here tonight,” Tom says, pulling the chair beside you.

Where is the bottle of wine? No. Nevermind. You behave regrettably enough sober.

You manage a simple, “And yet.”

“...And yet.” His lips quirk before he takes a drink from his goblet. 

You lament for a second that you’ve only actually kissed those lips once. They spent a great deal longer on your neck.

“Will you be here over break?” he asks, and it isn’t an unreasonable thing to ask, you suppose.

“I think so. Why?”

“I’d like to know whether to expect you or not.”

Expect you… No, yes — revert to observation two: unusual is not an apt enough word for him.

It takes you a moment to conjure a response befitting polite dinner conversation. That is, after all, still what this is.

“I suppose you can. I’ll be busy, of course.”

Well, you didn’t say you conjured something good. It’s a big fat lie. Placating, vague, empty. And you suspect Tom knows that.

“Pity.”

Yes, he knows. He’s all quiet amusement again.

You stare off, satisfied to be left alone —

"And what is it that'll be taking so much of your time?"

“Well, I'm —” And now you have to build the lie — “I’ve told Godefrey I’ll attend to his Quidditch practise. Since the pitch isn’t in use.”

God, it’s so stupid it’s almost impressive — you don’t even know if Godefrey will be here over break, and you could have chosen any number of excuses that would pique Tom’s interest less than it’s apparently consistently piqued by the mention of your study partner. 

There’s that strange, indecipherable look again. Riddle is a perfect surname for him, you decide then, and you almost laugh at yourself for it, but that would probably not go over well should he ask what’s so funny.

“Have you, now? That’s very kind of you.”

“It’s hardly charity.”

“Hm, it’s kind of you to think so.”

You huff, tipping your goblet back to swallow the last meagre dregs of your wine.

“You look lovely.”

It’s just a little bit — just a tiny, straggling little bit of elderflower that captures your throat — and you cough into your goblet. “Thank — thank you.”

And, well, he looks lovely too. Obviously. Sickeningly so. You know little about his personal life but you’re positive he’s at least a half-blood, if not muggle-born, and it makes you wonder the influence of his renownedly plain black suit in a crowd of neat, long robes.

He manages with little effort to look better than all of them at their best.

His eyes drift over you appreciatively, quick enough not to be rude but — enough. (Enough that you daresay you might never recover from the horror of it.) You adjust under his gaze even when it’s situated on your face, far too heavy a thing for you to carry. “Does Godefrey call you lovely?”

What?

You blink at him, your mouth is probably open and you probably look stupid but he’s so… irritating. Yes, of course Godefrey calls you lovely. Godefrey tells you you’re the smartest woman he’s ever met (after his mother), and he drowns you with sherbet lemons at no cost, and he writes at the speed of light to match the quickness with which you recite your textbook, and none of it means anything. Tom is just —

“Unbelievable…”

He quirks a brow. “What was that?”

“I said you’re unbelievable, Riddle. Is it impossible for you to comprehend that I might have friends? That Godefrey is my friend?”

“Well, memory serves me right that you seemed a bit confused on the conventions of friendship last you mentioned it. Do forgive my uncertainty.”

He — that was —

“Well, that’s because we are not friends.”

“No.” He leans in. “We are not.”

You push your chair from the table with all the grace you can manage for such an abrupt thing: a tight, impersonal smile on your face as you walk away and approach Slughorn, only realising when you get there that your empty goblet is clutched in your hand like you’re trying to strangle it.

Whatever he sees on your face, he isn’t drunk enough not to frown at. “Ah, our newest gem — hardly seen you all night! Not leaving already, are we?”

You glance at the clock. It isn’t as though you’re being impolite by abandoning his party in the middle of the event. It’s quite late, the servers are stuck to the walls with little to do, and most of the room has divided into waltzing pairs.

“I’m taking my friend to the train station tomorrow, sir. Unfortunately I need to be up quite early.”

Yes, yes, it’s all so tragic. You’re depressed to go.

“Such a shame,” Slughorn frets, wobbling a tad and balancing himself on the wall. “You’ll be all right getting back? Not at all dizzy, are you?” His laugh is cleaved by a loud hiccough, and then he laughs even more. “My, well, I myself will need to be carried!”

“...I’ll be fine, sir. Thank you.”

“Oh, no trouble at all — there’s — hm… ah, Tom!”

No, no — is it bad you almost reach over and slap your palm over your professor’s mouth? Is it at all impressive that you don’t? You should look on the bright side in moments like these. You should admire your restraint.

But of course, Slughorn’s eyes don’t fall upon Tom for nothing. He's halfway across the room already, and Slughorn must have spotted him approaching to achieve this brilliant solution. “Tom can escort you back, no?”

Tom (unforgivably) is beside you now, a very mean, very pretty smile on his face.

“Not too much to ask, I should think? You know the castle best. Head Boy — sometimes I still can’t believe it!”

You look up at Tom and your jaw is clenched where you’ve since put down your goblet. There is too much tension in you to know what to do with, and he looks positively thrilled.

“It’s hardly charity, sir.” He holds out his arm.

You wonder what spell would catch him most off-guard if you were to blast him in the face right now.

Slughorn claps his hands together. “Ha! Yes, well… perfect, then! Off now, the two of you, off now. Do have a good — ” He hiccoughs again — “rest!”

You don’t even bother the diplomacy of smiling at Slughorn as your arm loops through Tom’s and you’re exiting the party. 

Neither of you say a word on the journey, and that’s very well.

If you could just get back to bed without speaking to him you may still consider it a good night. You may be able to push his strangeness and his entitlement and the annoying way his hair falls to another day, when he pesters you about Godefrey’s nonexistent Quidditch practise, which — come to think of it — you do think he told you he'd be headed home for the holidays. You really fumbled that one.

And then Tom’s thumb is brushing the bare skin of your arm and your walk stutters a bit. But he doesn’t mention it, and so neither do you.

And then he’s drawing down your elbow to your forearm so softly it almost feels like he isn’t touching you at all. He doesn’t mention it. Neither do you.

And then your arm, without really meaning for it to, is slipping from his and his hand is holding yours instead, feather-light as his fingers clasp yours and your breath is not the same as it was when you left.

He doesn’t mention it. He just keeps going.

His fingers work back up your arm and you shiver as they drag across your shoulder, gaze searing your neck as the soft digits find their way to your jaw, and you get the sense he’s remembering just how much he liked the taste of it, and you’re… you’re allowing it all again. You’re leaning in, you’re seeking him out, you want him flush against you and even that might not be satisfactory.

You are, in the end, a half-decent observer and a terrible liar.

You’re grabbing his hand with a small amount of direction and a great deal of meaning. You suppose it's because, historically, you’ve proven to have trouble with words in moments like these, and you don’t really know where you’re taking him but god, you know where you want him. Somewhere soft, this time, thick enough that you can fist your hands around it and melt. Somewhere he can hover over you, maybe hold you down a little, just until — maybe, miraculously — you might make him break a little too. Clamber over his lap. Make him yours.

“Tom,” you mouth, some question in the way your eyebrows knit.

The moment you say his name — the instant — he’s pulling you in, crushing his mouth against yours. And, ah, right, that’s what his lips feel like. You’d almost forgotten. 

This kiss is not chaste, hardly tender. It resists in that it asks you to push, to plead, to take this for yourself to prove how badly you want it, and he smiles into it when you do. And then, sated by your efforts, he lets you have him. You’re gripping the collar of his suit in your hands as his wander appreciatively over the back of your dress, pulling you into him as the kiss deepens. He’s savouring you like you’re something religious that’s been offered to him, and there’s the taste of wine on his tongue and you’re still here, aware enough that the symbolism isn’t lost on you.

“I've been thinking," he says between kisses, “about the way you felt when I touched you. I've been thinking about how long it might take before you need it again." 

You gasp at the sensation, and god, god, you've been wondering too, haven't you?

You’re pulling him impossibly closer and something hard is pressing into your hip and you clutch tighter onto his shirt as you moan into his mouth. You need it off, you think, and — has your dress been clinging to you like this all night? You need that off too. You need skin on skin. You careen him backwards without aim, your mind a muddled mess of all the many things your body is screaming it needs, like this is fucking imperative; to give it up would be catastrophic.

You suppose, based on what you’ve read, that that’s how the Room of Requirement works, but it’s still funny to think it would apply to this.

It hurts to remove yourself from him to watch in dumb awe as the door forms in the stone (to see the dark, languid shape of his eyes bearing down on you, the wet, stained pink of his lips), and Tom seems to recover from the revelation much faster than you.

His mouth is on yours once more, a hungry kiss; his free hand at your waist, guiding you through the door and shutting it carelessly behind him. 

He’s like fire against you, radiating as he presses down on you, his hand tangled in your hair and his hips flush against yours. You shiver as his mouth starts to move down (a cheap trick — he hasn’t forgotten how much you liked it the last time) from your jaw to your throat, as his lips trail down your chest and you're shivering into the warmth of him.

You’ve heard it said before, in some romantic sense, that it’s sometimes hard to tell where you end and someone else begins. 

This is not like that.

You've never been more aware of anything than the point where you and him meet.

You’re tugging at him blindly again, trusting in the nature of the Room like this isn't the first time you've been in it, and then you're stumbling down onto a bed you're quite sure wasn't there a moment ago (people say magic is a neutral force but evidently this is not the fucking case), fingers carding through Tom's hair as his body pins you into the mattress.

His mouth is molten hot as you squirm and pant beneath him, your breath coming faster than it ever has. Everything feels sharper and deeper and more intense under his touch, every sensation heightened until it's almost impossible to tell pleasure from pain, his tongue from his teeth.

How did it take you this long to do this again? To need him like this?

And his — you should really have the mind to see the mistake in all of this but perhaps that's for later — his fingers are pulling your sleeves down, propping your back to arch as he reaches under you to unzip your dress, apparently too impatient to sit you up and take it off properly so he just bunches it around your waist instead. There’s a moment where he stops to look at you, your chest exposed to him in the dim sconce-light, and then his mouth returns to circle your breast and you're biting down on a pillow to hold back the whimpering gasp that seeks to escape you. He hums around your flesh, and then he’s at your sternum, kissing a stripe to your belly button before pushing past the dress he's left ringed around your abdomen.

You shimmy under the weight of him to prop your head up — to see past the mass of silk that obscures his face from you as moves lower and lower, hands spanning your hips to keep you still.

His face hovers above your thighs, and he doesn’t move.

“Did you enjoy my fingers?" he asks. 

At that you freeze, thighs pressing together to bury the hand that's rising between them. 

Tom smiles. “Hm, you did." 

And then he spreads your legs apart, one hand pushing your underwear aside and regarding you with delicate, shameless appetite — something that might even be adoration: like this is all he ever wanted you to want.

“Do you think you'd enjoy my mouth, too?"

Words are gone. There's nothing left in you.

His head moves happily between your knees, holding them apart, pressing kisses to the base of your thighs. Your hands flail from the sheets, desperate to grip something else and you hold back a sound that feels like irritation and need at the same time. You need him closer, higher than this. He knows. You can feel his smile biting into your skin.

And then you manage a nod though you're not even sure he's looking at your face anymore (and what a picture to imagine he is) and you worry momentarily it won’t be enough for him — that he’ll ask you to be nice and say it out loud for him — but he hums with something merciful, and — his chin dips. You catch the smallest glimpse of his tongue before it’s on you, wet and slow and unrelenting and you say his name, but it’s a mewl; you choke on it. It sounds like a cry.

Pitiful, needy, undone. Just how he wants you.

You think all efforts to remain even remotely composed are thrown to the wind as soon as his tongue is lapping at you, fast and then slow, everything you want and not even remotely close. He sinks all his weight down as if he can predict the moment you'll writhe before you do — and you do. And with his grip he tells you to endure it. You only need him to say it with his hands and his mouth but he breathes back, licking his lips and he actually says it. “Be good.”

That makes your breath hitch and your cheeks swell impossibly hotter, and reality is a small glint in your peripheral where everything else is burning red. “Y-you’re—”

His mouth returns to you, tongue catching your clit in a drawn-out, agonising motion, and you gasp and lurch forward to inch through the sensation, craving more, more, more. Reason is lost on you, a throbbing familiarity forcing you to grind your teeth down on the pillow to stop yourself from telling him to — you don’t even know. Finish you. Abandon all reluctance. Just let you come as hard as you know he wants you to.

But he pauses, observant as he starts to work his fingers against you. Watching how your slick coats them like it’s the most enthralling sight he’s ever witnessed. Slowly, ever so slowly, he starts to push one inside of you, hearing your breath catch above him and the moan that comes tumbling out of your throat, pillow be damned.

You do your best to breathe through it, and you know he knows how to make you unfold like this, so the meticulous lightness of his ministrations tells you he’s trying to keep it from you now. You’re almost embarrassed about the fact that you’re dripping onto his hand regardless; his lips puffy, his gaze unnervingly, dizzyingly carving you in two.

“Just,” you rasp, clutching desperately at his wrist. “Tom, please.” 

Your begging must be music to his ears. (It’s a rare, unplanned fifth observation: that you think he’ll never get tired of hearing you say his name like that.)

He adds a finger. It’s encircling you, first, and no amount of restraint can stop the harsh gasp that leaves you, but then it’s his tongue and two fingers and he’s pushing into you how you wanted, and he makes a pleased sound against you, gripping you tighter with his free hand, still not allowing you movement and fuck, are you trying. What you're feeling now — the need, the want, everything —  is more than rational thought. Your mind goes blank, and all that matters is this, him, right here and now; nothing else exists, not even for a second. You moan, a low, throaty noise that's a little too loud, a little too intense; you can't recall if anything has ever come from you quite like it and Tom devours you at the sound.

More, you agree; it's almost an obsession in you now; more, more, please, anything and everything.

It’s the precision of his touch — not some bored, hurried transgression — that brings your hands helplessly to his hair.

“Tom,” you whine, holding him tight, and the purr of his mouth finding you again is something destructive.

As soon as you feel another swell of something deep down, your mouth is dropping open.

His tongue is sliding through you, fingers curling, and then your clit is in his mouth, and he’s watching you between your thighs as your eyes clench shut, and you’re coming.

Your voice breaks somewhere in the catastrophe of it. Your body spasms, electric down to every atom, and he pins you down through it. He doesn’t grant you the reprieve of escaping the frenzied, glorious torture of it. His mouth still lingers. His tongue moves thankful and unrelenting. 

He takes all of you, and you think this is destruction — creation — both. How terrifyingly similar they suddenly feel.

His lips are swollen and slick when he finally detaches them from you and you want to kiss him, but he’s leaning back to admire his work. You swallow, unable to blame him for it because you look down at yourself and — this is something else. You’re dripping down his chin. You're shaking. Your legs are still clenching around his torso. They’re holding him so tight you can’t imagine it doesn’t hurt.

But he just rolls off of you. Adjusts his trousers and your abdomen flutters and you think, don’t.

You don’t even realise you’re reaching for him until your hand is around his wrist and you’re still fucking sighing through the come-down, panting into the hot air.

He presses a kiss to your forehead, fingers damp on your chin as he holds you. You make a note that that’s the second time he’s done that. That you thought it was strangely intimate the first time and nothing’s changed other than how much more you like it.

And it doesn’t really feel like you can help it but crawl with gooey, trembling legs onto his lap. Doesn’t feel like you can help it when you lean in and capture his lips with yours, moan unabashedly into his mouth at the stiffness that presses against your core when you do, steal his tongue and the taste of you on it.

When he pulls away he’s looking at you like he doesn’t think you can actually do this. Like you’d just crumble the moment you tried.

A low, determined protest rises in your throat and you’re kissing him again. You’re unbuttoning his dress shirt, you’re trembling to reach for his trousers. 

When you can finally shrug his shirt off, press yourself against him, feel that skin on skin you wanted so badly, you find it somehow even more suffocating than its absence. You’re left wanting a more you aren’t able to even conceptualise, but you’re grinding involuntarily against him and his teeth are scraping your neck and he's hissing at the sensation, and — yes, there’s more.

Your breath is staggered when your hips stutter into a roll and you — fuck. You’re tugging desperately to remove his belt and he smiles against your throat as he takes your hands and guides them to him. You can feel his bulge against your thigh and you’re spreading your legs to usher him where you want, clawing at his chest without even meaning to.

Tom’s taking off his belt, and he’s pulling down his trousers just enough to bare himself to you, and maybe he’s right that you can’t manage it yourself but he stops his assistance like the intrigue of finding out is too good to resist. There's something both intimate and imperious, in a way, about the way he's looking at you now; it's a kind of focus and intensity and withheld hunger just for you; and you're more than happy to give yourself over to it, to let his hands and his eyes and his mouth claim you for his own. To claim him for yours, at last.

You do. You struggle for it. He’s very patient. 

But then it’s there — more — as you finally sink down on him and bite his shoulder and he shudders a low, pained exhale, his hands clutching your waist.

There’s a silent, suspended moment where neither of you move. The room feels entirely still. 

Your lips quiver over his pulse, and your stomach flips at the intensity of it, the undeniable rate of his desire beneath you. You smile against him now, like he always does to you, conscious enough to mumble into his neck, “Mine.”

Tom stutters inside you, fingers gripping you impossible tighter as you dare to think he even gasps. You dare to think he likes it.

And then one of his hands grabs your jaw and his kiss is searing. He thrusts upward and you cry into his mouth, searching to match his pace in a way that you appreciate, for once, he seems unlearned in. 

It’s all a bit messy, a bit new, palms in fists, in skin, in hair, digging for every part they haven’t already taken from. The sound in the back of Tom’s throat is divine, the feeling of him inside you as he slips his hand back between your legs — like he needs everything, like he knows you do too — it’s ineffable. It coils somewhere deep, touches something you didn’t know existed. Your hips are rotating, thighs still soft and slack from coming apart on his tongue, but you’re determined. It feels like finding even ground. It feels like something you deserve: to make him feel how you did.

Your head rolls back, eyes pinching shut in bliss, but Tom is there at your jaw again, forcing your blurry gaze back to him.

His hips are inching even further, the intensity of his pace as he adjusts to you making you dizzy. You think, realistically, there’s sound coming out of you, but you aren’t entirely sure when it’s so close to him, when your mouth is between his fingers and your ears are ringing and he’s looking at you like you’re made for him. 

“Mine.” And it isn’t a dismissal of your own claim but a confirmation that one will not be without the other. His voice is raw and breathy and something about the way he says it makes you contract inadvertently around him, hands swatting his chest like they don’t know what else to do. There’s just too much.

You recognize you’re trying to say something. Some plea, a moan, his name (is there anything else left?), but you’re just babbling into his mouth and he holds you there. He doesn’t kiss you. It’s your failing words against his lips. He swallows whatever syllables try to shape them.

It’s there again when you need it most; the heavy, swirling feeling inside you as he snaps his hips, his fingers returning to your waist with punishing firmness. His breathing accelerates, low in his throat, and you push harder against him. Your vision is gone again, head held in his hands to keep from rolling back so that, you suspect, he can watch defeat split you down the middle again — not over your shoulder, not with his head between your legs — with his eyes on yours, with every broken moan you let out so close to his face he can feel the breath of each one.

You’re grappling desperately at skin that doesn’t feel like enough, even though he’s rocking inside you, and you see the insanity of it, you see that it isn’t logical. Too much and not enough at once — you’re smart enough to know that doesn’t work, but it just is.

“Please,” you manage in a voice you don’t recognize. “Please, Tom, pleasepleaseplease —”

Had you said before it was foolish to call him forgiving? You take it back. He’s very eager to oblige you.

He finds some place inside of you and you don’t know quite what it is that he changes but it's new, uncharted, and you break there. You dissolve. You’re liquid in his hands as you sob, stuttering around him, trembling like you didn’t know was possible, and you swear — you swear you’re going to take him there with you. It isn’t that you could stop yourself if you tried but your body is gripping around him, fingers carving halved spheres into his skin, and you’re pushing down on him through the ecstasy — you’re forcing your eyes open so he can see you break, watch them flutter back all soft and pretty.

And you're sated by your ruin when it ruins him too.

The sound he makes is ragged. Undone. He can only bury it halfway with a kiss you think is actually more of a bite, twitching inside you as he fucks you through it.

You’re both lost in each other for a moment that feels detached from time, feeling his hips stutter to a halt, feeling your body soften. And he’s pulling out of you like it hurts, mouth falling open as he does. You wince at the loss, the sweet soreness between your legs, and you’re held only by the weight of him. You think — and you actually sway like the mere idea is too strong — that if it weren’t for his hands, you’d fall flat off the bed.

But he sort of lifts you off him, lays you down and watches you for a long time as if to decide something important before he's laying down beside you. You watch him too. His fingers brush your hair out of your face, and when there’s not a single curl left clinging to the sweat on your skin, he continues anyway. You let him trace your lips, your jaw, your nose, and somehow, a bit terrifyingly, your final observation: nothing about it feels unusual at all.

You did say he was yours.

[animeyanderelover]

Tw: Yandere themes, toxic relationship, possessive behavior, obsession, delusional mindset, stalking, clinginess, jealousy, touchiness, manipulation, gaslighting, blackmail, threats, intimidation, sadism, violence, abduction, death

Tags: @shumidehiro @leveyani @izanami78

Soulmate AU

Light Yagami

✍️Honestly, soulmates are so unlikely to meet anyways that you have stopped caring about finding your own. You have never experienced anything that would have hinted for you to have one anyways so you just brush it off as nothing and go on with your life. When you start to attend university, you meet Light Yagami. And as shameful as it is for you to admit this, you have a crush on him. Just like everybody else on this campus. It is embarrassing and to not mutate into a stereotypical simp, you decide to avoid him as good as you can. Although you just can't help your pounding heart whenever he is in your vision nor can you stop your eyes from slowly moving over to him and silently admire him. You don't expect him to return your feelings though as you know that he has asked a couple of other girls already out without deepening the relationship. It's such a shame that someone as handsome and intelligent as him has to be such a shallow playboy. But one can't have everything in life.

✍️​What you don't seem to know is that Light has noticed you already but hasn't let you realize yet. His eyes were drawn to you from the very first moment he saw you and his attraction just bloomed out of nowhere. Light is perhaps slightly frustrated with this development but he can't help the way his heart reacts whenever he looks at you. He thinks that his feelings are a waste of time since he has to work towards his goal to become the God of this world and rid it of all evil. Then there are also the additional troubles of Misa clinging to him and L being hot on his trails which would make it unnecessarily difficult to fit you within his life so he attempts to forget about you and focus on his goal. The thoughts about you linger though and as soon as he has a quiet moment, his mind always drifts to you. It is maddening as you trouble him without even knowing about it and sometimes he got so incredibly angry that the thought to write you down in his Death Note popped up in his mind only for panic and fear to settle in instantly after, a sudden ache in his heart that always catches him off-guard.

✍️​Light finds himself infiltrating your group here and there, always steering the conversation subtly into talking about you without being too obvious and without ever approaching you directly. His eyes drift carefully towards you and quickly dart somewhere else when he realizes that your eyes do the same as he doesn't want to get caught. He occasionally follows you around inside the campus without making it look like he is actually following you and he even asks Ryuk if the shinigami could keep his eyes on you from time to time. Ryuk mostly does so when he gets his reward of apples but can't help but laugh whenever Light asks him to do so as he teases the boy for his sudden obsessive interest in you. Light is no idiot though, he is very receptive. He also knows that you glance at him quite often in class only to look quickly away in embarrassment when you realize that he is looking at you too. He notices that you try to avoid him or pretend to be busy with something else whenever he walks into your direction. He carefully asks your friends about it and ultimately arrives at the delightful conclusion that you have an interest in him too but are too embarrassed to admit it.

✍️​You nearly get a heart attack when he approaches you one day and offers you to help you as he has seen you struggling in this specific subject. Honestly, you would rather not but you can't bring yourself to reject him whilst he looks at you with such a charming smile so both of you compromise to meet at his house later that night. You're so nervoud and also embarrassed when you walk into his house as you notice the glances his parents give Light and you as you would love nothing more than to explain to them that it is not what it might look like. You have some drinks and chat with his parents before Light leads you to his room. You are flattered when you realize that he has already made notes and prepared some exercises as well as explanations he has written down for you to take home with you and use as preparations for your next exam. There is definitely some tension which causes you to sweat slightly whilst Light either doesn't notice it or hides it better. You definitely feel his eyes scrutinizing you intently though the entire time.

✍️​At one point you abruptly stand up, excusing yourself as you stutter that you have to use the toilet. Light's eyes narrow as a displeased look crosses his face. His arm stretches out as his fingers grasp your wrist to stop you from fleeing from him and to chide you for lying to him trying to avoid him only for a sudden sharp heat to be felt for the both of you. He pulls his arm back in surprise as you press your hand against your chest and let out a gasp as you feel the hot and throbbing pain in your wrist. You quickly pull your sleeve up only to stare with bewildered eyes at the sudden tattoo that has suddenly appeared on your wrist. It looks like two wings of an angel. Your mind is racing as you try to comprehend what has just happened only for Light to abruptly stand up too. You look at him dazed only for your eyes to land on his wrist where you can see the same tattoo. Your jaw nearly drops as you realize what this means. When you force your eyes to look into his own, you feel a cold shudder going down your spine as you see the possessive look in his eyes. Quickly he smoothes his expression into a flawless smile again as he looks at you. Why don't the both of you get to know the other one better?

L Lawliet

🍰​You have been born with a soulmate mark on your body, a name that has been written on your body ever since you came out of your mother's womb. It is placed on your stomach, reading the name L Lawliet. You have been told from a very young age that this means that your soulmate has already been born and that they have received their soulmate mark and your name engraved somewhere on their body the moment you were born. As a small kid you kind of fantasize over all of this but as you grow older you start changing your thoughts. How much older than you is your soulmate? What if they are over 10 years older than you? You even start to grow unconscious of the name written on your stomach and luckily the spot is easy to hide so you make it a point to never wear revealing clothes or go anywhere that would require you to wear less clothes. Finding your soulmate is such a rarity anyways so it is probably useless to hope for you to meet them.

🍰​L has even as a small child always been very perceptive so he noticed at the young age of 3 years that something had suddenly appeared on his calf that couldn't be washed away no matter what. Confusion eventually grows into acceptance and even some fondness as it brings him weird comfort just looking at the name written on his skin and uttering the name it spells out. When Wammy aka Watari finds him eventually and notices the name written on his calf, he takes his time explaining to L what this means. L is weirdly fascinated when he finally gets an explanation for this tattoo on his calf, the thought of it having appeared because his destined other finally came into the world is such an intriguing idea and concept for him. He is very discreet about having a soulmate though so he never tells the other children in the Wammy's House about this and always wears long trousers to hide your name from all eyes. The older he grows and the more he is mentored by Watari to be a great detective, the more he realizes the risks though.

🍰​His identity has to remain an absolute secret after all so the fact that somewhere on this planet is someone who walks around with his name on your skin is a huge risk for his career and safety. So as soon as he starts taking on cases and Watari starts travelling around with him, both of them also start looking for you. Amongst billions of people they have to find you and normally that would be a jarring task. Yet L already has your name engraved on his body which makes the process much more easier. Data about all people sharing the same name as you is collected yet it is when L gets to your file and sees the picture of you that he feels a sudden warm tingling in his chest as he gazes at your face. When Watari notices how he looks at your photos with an almost dazed look in his eyes and asks L if you are the right one, the young man quickly looks up at him and tells him that he would like to travel to your country as quickly as possible. He spends hours just staring at all the photos he can find and reading countless files about you, demolishing your privacy whilst satisfying his need to know more.

🍰​He takes on a fake name and fake identity just to be sure if the small possibility that you aren't his soulmate should be true. He has no doubts that it's you though as he is weirdly nervous when he goes out to meet you and the moment his dark eyes land on you, he feels his heart starting to race against his chest. He's able to quickly get close to you as you are weirdly drawn to him. L knows that this is most likely because of the soumate bond both of you share even if you don't know about it yet. His eyes are often roaming across your body as yhe wonders where his name is inked upon your body. He would just love to see it as he is sure that it would look absolutely beautiful. He can't help his slices of impatience though as he sometimes can't hold back and ask you if you have a soulmate, dark eyes gauging your every twitch and breath as your body language and facial expressions always give your lies away to him. You cold try as hard as you can but nothing is missed by his observing gaze.

🍰​Watari has to surprisingly hold him back because otherwise he would rush everything too fast. L already wants to speed up the process to take you as quickly as possible but he understands Watari's arguments that the both of you should establish a better bond before the detective takes you for himself. The entire plan as well as the execution goes smoothly as L has already come up with an explanation for your disappearance without anything leading to him. He waits anxiously until you wake up and remains calm as he explains everything to you. You don't want to belive him when he tells you that he is your soulmate but when he reveals the tattoo on his calf to you, your eyes widen and your heart skips a beat when he tells you his real name. Your eyes glance down at your stomach and in the next moment you feel L's cold finger eagerly gripping the hem of your sweater, lifting the material slowly up as you can hear his breath hitching as he finally sees his own name on your skin. Dark eyes seem to burn this image into his mind before he finally meets your anxious and jittery gaze. You're staying with him from now on.

Fyodor Dostoevsky

​🍎​Soulmates have always been a concept that you have grown up with since your childhood. Oftentimes it was romanticised since a lot of people just adored the idea of finding your significant other who was destined for you. It wasn't uncommon for people to not like the idea that much though since it felt like they had no choice to choose their partner. No matter which opinion one person had, finding their soulmate in such a huge world was often very difficult to achieve. Some of the symptoms people had because of their soulmate or because they were born with their significant other were also quite scary in your mind. You remember reading stories about people who couldn't taste or were only able to see the world in black and white and still remember clearly how one of your classmates often got mysterious injuries because they and their soulmate shared every wound. So your lack of any tattoos, names or lack of taste was honestly a relief for you.

🍎​Fyodor's thoughts on soulmates have always been very interesting. To imagine that there is a force beyond human understanding which determines who is your destined other and might occasionally even ruin the life of people as they wailed in misery because they couldn't find their love was intriguing. Love truly can be a curse at times, especially with the way some people become aware that they have a soulmate. Reading reports of how some people died because of the injuries their soulmate suffered or how some just experienced the pain without receiving the actual injuries has been a small hobby of his when he had the time. Fyodor has some mild fascination with the concept of soulmates as he sometimes wonder where his one is as he has nothing that could help him to find you as he has no marks nor any obvious symptoms. Soulmate bonds can be very different from case to case, although some are more common than others so he occasionally wonders what symptoms he will develop if he should ever find his soulmate.

🍎​Both of you meet in the town you are living in as he has currently settled there because he is looking for a specific someone who he needs for one of his schemes. You're currently working in a small dining place as it is the best job you were able to find at the time. It isn't much but you are thankful enough as your co-workers are mostly nice and the money you earn is enough to get you around. You can't deny that you feel almost instantly attracted to Fyodor when he first enters this place but you don't expect it to be more than a slight crush. After all a lot of your co-workers end up gushing silently about him when he walks in since he is a handsome young man. Still, you end up being the one who takes his order and you try your best to not act stupid as you walk over to him, although you feel the heat settling into the skin of your face when purple eyes meet your own and just seem to observe you before he gives you a small smile and orders a hot beverage.

🍎​He can't quite put his fingers around it but there just seems to be something about you that fascinates Fyodor. A fatal attraction for you that leads him to visiting your diner more often than he would normally. Sure, he enjoys the tranquility in the place as well as the tea and the coffee that he is being served there but the main attraction about this place really is you. He can't help the small feeling of disappointment whenever you aren't the one taking his orders as his eyes always seem to search for you. What is it about you that has him feeling so obsessed? He can never seem to find an answer for this question as he watches all surveillance cameras to see what you are up to when he has the time. Slowly he starts messing your life up and takes your hidden misery in when he visits the diner yet something hampers him from feeling the sadistic satisfaction as he watches your tired face and the exhaustion written all over you. Why is he feeling pity for you?

🍎​Fyodor finally realises what you are to him when he witnesses you one day at your lowest point as everything just seems to crumble apart around you. Tears fall down your face as you sob and he hates how he feels this painful twinge in his heart whilst watching you. He feels something akin to bitterness poisoning his mind as he looks at you. You deserve this pain and despair for tainting him with the sin of loving someone like you yet you elicit guilt out of him even if he is in the right. Your face is buried in your face as you cry so you don't notice the pale hand stretching out for you with the intent of hurting you. Yet he never reaches you. His hand is left trembling in the air as it feels like some sort of invisible force is repelling him from you. His eyes rest at his hand before they dart over to you and suddenly he has an idea. The moment he drops his intent to hurt you, his hand moves forward and caresses your hair, whispering soothing words to you whilst his eyes start gleaming with an unsettling look. How interesting.

Jouno Saigiku

♦️​It started when you were about 13 years old. Those dreams. Initially it was all blurry and appeared only in fragments. You always thought that you saw a figure there though, although you could never really tell who it was and what they looked like. After a few months you started hearing a voice calling out for you. It was a boy and soon you could see that he was walking towards you. Yet both of you were unable to reach the other as neither of you had mastered the world of those shared dreams just yet. You tried your best to control your dreams as you knew that this boy was your soulmate yet you still struggled as the colors around you melted as the world around you always crumbled. He on the other hand had soon learned how to shape the dreams around him and always came to rescue you and give you stability within those dreams. You found out that his name was Saigiku and happily told him your own name.

♦️​He could see. Whenever he slept, he was able to see. A world coated in darkness became a vibrant world of colors whenever you joined him in your dreams and slowly learnt how to shape the world around yourself. He could see your face always smiling happily whenever he joined you in your dreams. Honestly, the delight he felt whenever he could see you was almost amusing as he knew that he partially felt like this because of the fact that you were his soulmate. Yet whilst he was able to see, he was slightly annoyed about the fact that his exceptional hearing was gone. He couldn't read you properly like he could have done if he would have just heard your heartbeat properly. Whilst Jouno was still much more deceptive and focused on your body language and facial expressions, he probably was still missing things.

♦️​You noticed that Jouno didn't reveal much about himself besides his name and that saddened you a bit since the two of you were soulmates. At the same time you also started telling him less crucial information about yourself as he didn't tell you either. It was only fair after all. You always imagined that he squeezed his eyes shortly as if displeased about your lack of information before it disappeared so quickly behind his composed and small grin that you often wondered if you were just seeing stuff. You couldn't deny though that something just felt a little bit off about Saigiku. Sometimes it just felt like something sinister was lurking beneath his surface. You didn't want to tell him that though since a part of you didn't want to believe that your soulmate could possibly be someone bad. Often you just blamed yourself for being paranoid. Perhaps you should have gone with your gut feeling though.

♦️​It was years later that both of you eventually agreed to meet finally after having only ever interacted in your shared dreams. Jouno instantly seized control of the situation as he convinced you to meet somewhere he suggested, seemingly uncaring about how long you would have to travel then. You were slightly mad but you eventually caved in and fell for his sweet words. So you took the journey all the way to the destination he had suggested. It was in a park where very few people were strolling around. You could feel your heartbeat pounding against your chest in anticipation as you looked around until you spotted a man sitting on a bench, waving at you. You quickly recognized Saigiku and ran towards him, really happy as this was the first time you had seen him in real life. You couldn't help yourself but give him a hug as soon as you stood before him and he, even if he seemed caught off guard at first, returned your embrace eventually.

♦️​You quickly find out something about him that he had never told you before. He was blind. He couldn't see anything and could only see when he was sharing dreams with you. It instantly triggered guilt and sadness inside of you. Jouno was glad that this was the bond you two shared though as one of his hands went up to caress your facial features, imagining very vividly the flustered look on your face as he could hear your heartbeat speeding up. Both of you spent a few hours just sitting there as you were talking mostly whilst he was just listening to your voice and your heartbeat before he decides that it's time for both of you to go. You quickly offer him your help when he stands up but are dumbfounded when he walks just fine, his steps confident as he leads you somehwere. He grabs your arm, his grip a bit too tight for your taste, as he leads you outside the car to a balck car and gestures you to get inside. You start to get a bad feeling as you try to tell him that you can get to your hotel by yourself only for his grip to tighten painfully as he gently forces you into the car. Poor thing, he really hid a lot from you. Don't worry though, he'll tell you everything now that you'll stay with him.

Suehiro Tetchou

🌸​You have lived a pretty normal life so far. Obviously you are aware of soulmates but they are such a rarity that you decide to not waste your time on dreaming about something that is unlikely to happen anyways. Instead you focus on studying hard to live a good life and be able to look after yourself. You graduate with excellent grades and decide to travel to Japan before you apply to a university and get a job. You have been saving for this trip since years and make thorough plans to get the most out of the few weeks that you will travel through Japan. So you land in the airport of Tokyo and slowly make your way through the land then. Until eventually you land in Yokohama, the port town. So far you have been pretty satisfied with everything you have seen. Until an accident happens in the town. You aren't involved, you just happen to walk past it as citizens are rescued and a gang who has been running around for some time now is currently being arrested. That's when you see Tetchou for the first time...surrounded by a colorful aura.

🌸​As the Hunting Dog walks outside, he catches something very colorful as he walks outside the half-destroyed building as some of the bombs planted inside there have gone off but luckily it is still standing. He turns his head around, confused and curious about what is shimmering with so much colors before his eyes land on yours and he feels his breath hitching. A sudden burst of emotions floods through him and he doesn't even know why. He can see the colors surrounding you changing color as well as shape as well when he meets your eyes. Your mind is racing just as much as your heart is as you stare at him in bewilderment and shock and see his aura twisting and turning in shape and color as he also just stares at you. You turn your head around confused as you wonder if others can see what you can as well but none of them seems to notice what you do. When you turn around again, your heart drops as you see him marching to you. He stops right in front of you, his eyes unwavering as he looks at you and asks you who you are.

🌸​He tells you that he can see a colorful aura surrounding you and seems to try to crook his head when you tell him that you can do the same. He can't see what you can see though nor can you see what he sees. You two seem to be the only ones in general who can see the colors shaping and changing around the other. Both of you seem to get lost in thought. You try to wrap your head around what this weird phenomenon is whilst he just stares straight at you as you only look at the colors around him. You notice pretty soon how soon he emits pink mist from around him that almost appears to be the shape of hearts and that is when it clicks in your mind. You feel yourself getting quickly embarrassed and slightly hostile as you realise that those colors symbolize his feelings and that he can by extension also see how you are feeling. He notices the change in colors and asks you worried what is wrong. You purse your lips as you give him a conflicted look before you decide to tell him the truth.

🌸​You two have to be soulmates. There is no other explanation you can come up with. Normally your heart doesn't race as much when you are around other guys and normally you don't feel so stupidly attractive to someone you just met. Tetchou takes the news much better than you do though. Of course he is a tad bit surprised when you initially tell him but he accepts it pretty quickly and instantly asks you if you plan to stay in Yokohama. That is where things start to get pretty complicated since you never planned to meet your soulmate on your vacation. You didn't even expect to have a soulmate at all! Truth be told, a part of you doesn't want to stay in Japan for the rest of your life. Tetchou on the other hand thinks very differently than you do. He has obviously heard of soulmates but has never paid it too much mind up until now. It feeds his growing delusions pretty well as he can't understand your hesitation. Soulmates are so rare after all. Why would you even consider leaving your other half?

🌸​He is an immovable object as you soon find out. Because you can't convince him to give you time to consider this at all. You remind him that you have to travel back to your own country and that you have to consider this and also inform your parents. He insists that you can just work for the government and that he could get you work with ease. You carefully observe his aura that starts moving faster around him and that changes to only a few dark colors as he grows more frustrated and impatient whilst you do your best to keep your composure. Both of you just can't seem to come to an agreement as Tetchou is unable to understand why you wouldn't want to give up your current life in favor of staying with him and even getting a job in the government. Soon paranoia poisons his mind and you can see that as he asks you if you don't want him and the spike of fear shown in your aura to him only fuels this. He truly doesn't want to force you into staying but if he must, he will. You just need a bit more time to accept the fact that both of you are soulmates and have to stay together. He's sure that you'll thank him soon enough for making the right decision for the both of you.

Sigma

☁️​Years have passed by without any weird incidents. Years were you thought that you were just a normal person without anything special about you. Honestly, initially you were a tad bit disappointed that you apparently weren't born as the soulmate of someone else as you never felt any weird symptoms that would have indicated that you had one. As you grew older though, you started accepting this. This just meant that you had the freedom to choose someone if you would ever desire a partner. But then something changed. You were already a young adult when it one day just started. Initially it was so silent and delicate that you sometimes just mistook it as your mind hallucinating. But then it became louder. The voice became louder inside your head. It was oftentimes nothing more than a wavering whisper that you could hear within your own mind. You wondered if you had gone crazy as you dared to call out to the voice.

☁️​Sigma on the other hand completely froze within his tracks when he heard your voice suddenly within him as well, carefully calling out to him. What was that? He had never heard this before in his life and it made his heart pound against his chest. It wasn't only out of fear though. It was also out of excitement and he didn't understand why he felt such a sudden rush of dopamine when he heard your voice calling out to him inside his mind. This was a bad thing after all, right? He was hearing voices right now after all. He contemplated if he should reply to this voice or not before he carefully hushed a few words back at you and then just waited if you'd actually reply. You did reply and asked him intrigued as well as a bit scared who he was and it was at that moment that Sigma realised that you weren't just a mere voice his head had created as a result of him potentially losing his mind. No, this voice he was currently hearing actually belonged to a real person.

☁️​He talks with you quite often from that day on as both of you discover the limits of this weird ability you both share. You can only hear the voice of the other and can't see any images that the othet thinks about. It isn't like both of you can hear the other ones thoughts too, at least not unless the other one is really stressed and loses control of his own thoughts. This seems to happen to Sigma more often than to you as you often hear him starting to ramble within your mind and so you have to spend a lot of time soothing him and helping him to calm down. Your voice always calms his racing heart and mind, Sigma quickly latches onto the comfort you can give him to the point where he gets anxious when you aren't available to him and sometimes you wake up in the middle of the night because he is chanting your name panicked within your mind. He is quick to apologize and shame himself for ruining your sleep like this and so he tries to hold back as he can feel his stress increasing.

☁️​Soon he invites you to his Sky Casino as he begs you to come because he wants to see you in real life. He tells you all of the information you need to know and eventually manages to tire you with his constant questions and pleas out enough that you give him your address. You receive a letter he was written himself where he details once again all necessary information. He sends some of the people who work for him to pick you up and guard you on the entire way. You are amazed when you are flown to the Sky Casino and as soon as you step inside, you can already see a man quickly rushing towards you. So this is Sigma, huh? The poor man needs to take a few deep breaths as soon as he is in front of you, his hands slightly trembling because he is incredibly nervous before he gives you a soft smile and invites you to a tour of the casino he would like to give you himself. He gauges all of your reactions intently and anxiously out of fear that something won't be to your satisfaction.

☁️​You are too caught up in admiring everything though as he leads you down a floor guests aren't allowed to walk through. He walks you into a huge room with an installed bathroom and even a small kitchen space that looks better than all of the expensive hotel rooms you've seen on the internet. You're looking around amazed before his rambling suddenly catches your attention. He still hasn't fully perfected this room so if you want everything else to be delivered inside your room, feel free to tell him. Money is of no issues here, he just desires to make you feel as comfortable as he can... What does he mean by that? When you ask him this question, his voice suddenly dies down as he turns around to look at you. The previous excitement due to all of your previously positive reactions dies down as fear and panic takes over him. He...he thought that you'd stay with him here since the both of you are soulmates. When he sees the confusion crossing your face, his heart drops to his stomach. You plan to leave again, don't you? ...Well, that's a shame. He can't let you leave his side anymore. He's your soulmate. He was made for you. So he can't let you go. Being with you is his purpose.

[thewertsearch]

TT: It reminds me of when Dave and I were trapped in the doomed timeline, and he left to change the past. TT: The timeline ceased to exist, along with my dream self, who in a way became merged with my dream self of this timeline. I kept some of her memories. TT: Is the situation similar? Similar, but more severe. Since this timeline will undergo such a violent upheaval, such a merger of memory cannot happen.

Unlike Future Rose, we're not merely fleeing a doomed timeline - we're resetting the timeline, the real deal.

If you squint, it kind of looks like the Davesprite situation, but the rules are completely different. This isn't a rewind, it's a reboot, complete with entirely new incarnations of John, Rose, Dave and Jade.

It doesn't sound like the original Players are supposed to survive the process - but if you pay attention to Scratch's phrasing, he doesn't actually confirm that it's impossible. He asserts that this type of memory preservation is impossible, but that doesn't mean there's no way for the kids to reach the reboot. I strongly believe that our endgame here will feature both iterations of the kids, allowing us to develop their personalities from two completely different angles.

I'd love to speculate about what Scratched!John and his team will be like, but I don't want another theory that's dead on-arrival. Let's wait and see if Rose learns anything more about the reboot first.

TT: So if the Scratch isn't specifically meant to banish Jack from the session, TT: And our quest to destroy the sun is meant to kill him, TT: Why is the reset necessary at all, especially if it means oblivion for us? Because you cannot achieve the ultimate reward in this session. […] Don't you want to fulfill your purpose?

Whether they should actually want to make a universe isn’t exactly a trivial question. Rose is a little too emotionally compromised to consider it, but I’m not.

For starters, what if their universe is an awful place? Alternia is proof that Sburb's universes can be complete dystopias. We have no idea if Alternia's creators intended for the Empire to exist, but the fact that it's even possible should make any Sburb Player very, very nervous about releasing a new Genesis Frog into the cosmos, lest it become another host for an intergalactic empire.

I suppose the question is kind of moot. The kids still need somewhere to live after the session, and I doubt their own universe is still an option. Their planet certainly isn’t.

[…] if you are inventive, you may find a way to survive the reset and participate in the renewed session. It's up to you.

...hmm.

Do you think the effects of the Scratch extend into the Furthest Ring? Surely not, right? Surely they're localized to the session in which the Scratch was triggered, lest a Scratch reset the entire multiverse.

Could it really be that easy? I guess it would normally be dangerous to enter the domain of the Gods unprotected, but Feferi's alliance should keep them safe. Plus, Rose has an accord with them herself. This feels workable to me - provided the Gods are willing to let our heroes influence the reboot.

[florenceafternoon]

━。゜✿ jily fic recommendations ✿ ゜。━

You know when you read a fic and love it so much that you want to find one exactly like it but different. Anyways, more Alternate Universe fics.

For reference, anything in italics is taken from the summaries on ao3.

These first few fics are all by elanev91 on ao3 (ao3 account required).

Force of Habit

Lily's been riding the same train back and forth to work for the last two and a half years and lowkey fancies the guy who sits one row up from her usual seat.

TW: parent death discussed

The fic that inspired the intro (I love it so much you don't understand)

Waffle Wars

There's only one waffle maker in the dining hall and it literally always breaks. So, naturally, the only reasonable course of action is to meticulously map out when it's working and, ultimately, do a heist.

every day I like you a little mower

Lily was JUST trying to be a good daughter and help her father with his yard work. Too bad the bloke next door is always outside and also the most annoyingly talkative person on the planet.

we could be gigantic series

Lily and James have been best friends since they were kids. Uni, a band, a trip abroad, a few tours and a couple of albums later, things start to change. Half an email fic, half a regular ol' narrative.

it wasn't a pity invite

Prompt: my family invites you to join our holiday meal as an obvious setup and omg i’m so sorry

The one where they’re both doctors - also Northern Irish Lily.

One Direction on the A4

James and Lily are having quite the morning. James thinks a little nonsense might fix it. Or James is a dork and Lily loves it.

Ye Olde Smut Fic

Student recruitment fairs suck, but never fear -- Professor Evans and Professor Potter have figured out how to make it a little less annoying.

Professor AU, Modern AU, Muggle AU. Smutty ridiculousness. Plot questionable.

The tragedy is that they live in America

The Yeast I Can Do

Dr Lily Evans had an absolute shit day at work. Luckily, there's a bakery nearby that offers a course that she hopes will take her mind off of things.

For my fellow jily & wolfstar enjoyers, go do yourself a favour and check out their other works on ao3.

Teenage Kicks by @arianatwycross

It all starts with Lily being hired to be the bands tour photographer, then she actually meets the band and she quickly becomes absorbed by their fast lifestyle, their pranks and the hot lead singer. But its not exactly simple to be crushing on a famous Rockstar, is it?

Foam Hearts by Sleepinghookah (on ao3)

Coffee shop AU. A story in which James and Lily are blind - both in entirely different ways.

I promise he's not a bad person. You've got to read till the end and it'll make sense

When The Skies Are Gray by @athenasparrow

“Carry me?” Lily scoffed, biting her lip so she wouldn’t laugh in his face. Because he was about to do something nice for her. “I’m not some damsel in distress who can’t walk! I just need a bit of cover to make it to the tube.”

OR: two strangers, one umbrella, and a little bit of fate.

Tranquil Solitude (Until You Came Along) by @thelighthousestale

Prompt: I thought I went skinny dipping alone but oh my god this beautiful human is also here naked and I am a fool

All Lily wanted to do was take a nice, quiet swim on a hot day. And then James Potter showed up. And Lily had already removed her clothes for the private swim.

it would have been sweet by @firefeufuego

‘Lily,’ he says in her ear, voice slurred and barely audible above the pulsing bass of the music, ‘is there a reason I shouldn’t marry her?’

She can taste the truth bittersweet on her tongue: Yes of course there is, you colossal, darling idiot, you’re meant to be mine. But there’s the ring on Charlotte’s finger and there’s the one Lily found in Eddie’s sock drawer, and how can she be this person? The one who steals someone’s fiancé on his stag night? That’s not who she is, that won’t be who she is. ‘Of course not, James. You’ll make each other so happy.’ She nearly chokes on the lie as it leaves her mouth, all the more so because most of it isn’t even a lie at all.

For my second chance romance girls

This Hope is Treacherous by @tinyluminaryzombie

Lily Evans and James Potter: Aquentiences, Academic rivals, and now, Friends.

Except "friends" doesn't exactly feel right but Lily's too scared to do anything about it. But as James and her keep acting like more-than-friends she's unraveling with the uncertainty of it all.

OR: Choosing to fall in love can be just as thrilling and terrifying as love at first sight.

The Viscount's Daughter by @ghostofbambifanfiction

The beautiful, vivacious, and decidedly redheaded daughter of the 16th Viscount of Rowena has stolen the heart of young Prince James. Trouble is, she couldn't be less interested in him.

Thought it was abandoned but the author posted a snippet recently so maybe not?

The Queen of the Quills - Jily Edition by @elliemarchetti 

Lily and Petunia read the Queen of the Quills' latest column on James Potter, while the bachelor announces to his friends that he intends to get married.

Quest for Camelot by the incredible @petalsthefish

After the legendary Excalibur sword is stolen, Lily and James embark on a quest to retrieve the lost weapon. Lily searches for the sword to prove she is capable of being a knight despite being a girl. James searches because his falcon, Marlene, is desperate to find it for her master, Merlin. Along the way, they attempt to outwit the sinister Ruber, navigate through magical obstacles, decode puzzling prophecies, and uncover surprising similarities between themselves.

As their journey progresses, they both cannot deny the feelings growing between them with each passing day. Will they make it out of the quest alive, or will one of them perish in the ever-growing darkness that threatens to swallow the entire realm if Ruber gets his hands on the sword?

Based on the 1998 movie Quest for Camelot, but with more plot and less singing

Fearlessly Red also by @ /petalsthefish

Red. It was such an interesting color to correlate with emotion because it was on both ends of the spectrum. On one end there was happiness, falling in love, passion, all that. On the other end was jealousy, fear and frustration. Maybe that's why James thought the nickname fit Lily so well.

or Bodyguard!James/Celebrity!Lily

Get A Room bt @chierafied

The long-awaited trip to London goes awry when Marlene chooses to spend time with her boyfriend - forcing Lily to share their room with none other than James Potter.

you don't know me (but I know you) by @emeralddoeadeer

Lily has a crush, she knows his face well but can only imagine his name; until they meet that is.

About Time by heartablaze (on ao3)

Before his final year started, James Potter offered to be a resident advisor for a first-year dorm. What he didn’t count on was dealing with a confusing redhead across the hall, hospital visits, hallway parties and writing his thesis the night before it was due. Blimey. (Muggle Uni AU)

Unexpectedly in Love by jamespotters_exgirlfriend (on ao3)

When Lily Evans entered her final year of uni, she certainly didn’t expect to fall in love with James Potter. And well, let’s just say love isn’t the only unexpected thing to come out of their relationship.

Far Post by @eastwindmlk

James Potter and his friends are very serious about their pub football league. So, when the new roster comes out and there is a new team on there, an all women's team, he and Sirius set out to investigate.

You Know How To Ball, I Know Aristotle by @wearingaberetinparis

Now that the global superstar, Grammy-winning singer-songwriter Lily Evans and professional football player James Potter are together, they have to juggle the difficulties of a relationship in the public eye. Fresh off her World Tour, Lily Evans arrives at Wembley Stadium one year after James Potter first attended her show, to perform there for one final weekend before heading to the studio to record her next album. Her boyfriend, in the meantime, is off to Germany to play at the Euros for England. How will they ever make their relationship work when Lily is - so the press loves to imply - the least supportive WAG of the tournament?

sequal to And You Heard About Me (Ooh, We’ve Got Some Big Enemies!)

It's been a long time coming and it did not disappoint

I've recommended Three Swipes, You're Out by @naireides before, but I recently came across it's sequel making spirits bright

Sports star James Potter tries to pick Lily up on tinder. Lily Evans, a dedicated not sports fan is offended by the idea that someone thinks she wouldn't recognize James Potter's face. She laughs about it with her friends at a bar, until James Potter, who also frequents that bar, comes over to clarify that nope, he's on tinder, and he's definitely hitting on her.

...

She should have expected it to be hard, dating a celebrity, but somehow she and James make it work.

[absolutebl]

This Week in BL - I Still On1y Care About...

Organized, in each category, with ones I'm enjoying most at the top.

Sept 2024 Week 1

Ongoing Series - Thai

Monster Next Door (Thai Thurs Gaga ) eps 7 of 12 - Deeeelightful. They are so damn cute + a nice kiss! The rise of the green flag semes continues. I like it when Diew flirts and shows that he does have some experience in a relationship, and he can/will flex his power. Props to God for being a man who remembers to TAKE HIS DRINK with him. 

Addicted Heroin (Thai Tues WeTV) ep 4 of 10 - Yep I still like it and all its toxicity. It’s fun to see how closely it follows the original. Now I really can’t wait to see how this one ends. Since this time around we get an actual ending.

Battle of the Writers (Sun YT) ep 6 of 12 - How did they know that what I wanted more than anything was a side couple = spoiled prince + demon lord? How clever they are to give them to me. Meanwhile, in a shocking twist, the leads have known each other since childhood. Because why be original? 

I Saw You in My Dream (Weds Gaga) ep 8 of 12 - Oh it’s very cute. I love Ing. I love that Ai was honest with his bestie. Best friend's older brother trope is a go! Also good kisses all round. 

Kidnap (Fri YT) ep 1 of 12 - Ohm has his shirt off less than 5 min in. I guess GMMTV is learning what we want. My boy Title is the creep character again. I’m assuming that’s why GMMTV brought him on board at this juncture. Sigh. New boy, Q, looks like Mek’s younger brother. Ultimately? I'm not convinced on this one. It is doing what it says on the tin, but nothing more than that. I’m not wild about it, but I will keep watching.

The Trainee (Sun YT) ep 10 of 12 - The more OffGun BLs, the more time they spend communicating as characters in those BLs. It’s kind of charming. They've become the pair that advocates for communication in relationships. I like it as evolution for their brand. Flirting via the printer was very fun. Especially as the Thai script is so beautiful.

Live in Love (Sun Gaga) ep 1 of 5 - I guess this is a lockdown narrative? Odd choice. A lot of familiar faces but from more minor rolls. Is this from the Destiny Seeker people? It feels like that. It’s a bigger cast than I was expecting, and a sort of classic university BL of the kind star Hunter produces. Or the end of love people. Pretty classic Thai pulp stuff. I’m mildly enjoying it. Hali is too hot to be the dorky second lead. Nice to see Boat back on my screen. However, it is… what’s the word I am looking for? Oh yes. Boring. Plus singing. 

Ongoing Series - Not Thai

The On1y One (Taiwan Thurs Gaga) eps 5-6 of 12 - I entirely lost my mind over this show this week. Fuck me it's so good. The delicacy sends me. I keep expecting it to be clumsy and then is just isn't - it's so subtle and it demands we pay such close attention. I feel like I'm holding my breath the whole time I'm watching.

Cliff's notes on these 2 eps as follows:

The pure unadulterated tsundere of it all.

The awesome angst, it aches.

The series of repercussions after the fight was pacing genius.

The brilliant juxtaposition of "the kid who self isolates too easily" versus "the one who has been forced into isolation" meets both of them being smart enough to know why they react out of hurt, but neither can stop doing it.

Baby’s reaction to learning he’s going to be left behind = to instantly make plans to do the leaving in the future hurts my heart in the best possible way.

"Maybe what we call eternity is just persistence."

Maybe one boy simply deciding to be another boy's rock is romance. 

Production better nail the second half of this show! It better be the world against them from here on out or the audience is gonna riot.

And by "audience" I mean me.

Sugar Dog Life (Japan Sun grey) ep 5 of 10 - Oh noes! Poor baby boy!!! My heart hurts. But also gah so cute and next week they shack up together! Hooray! 

I Hear the Sunspot AKA Hidamari ga Kikoeru (Japan Weds Gaga) ep 11 - too much time spent on the girl again. I don’t need excuses for why she’s a bitch. So can we talk about Taichi instead? It’s such a good characterization, this boy who understands everything about other people but doesn’t notice anything about himself, including his own abilities of observation. The person who is special never realizes how special they are, I guess. The soundscapes are so good with this show. The moments where prod decided to be silent are so vital and so pivotal and used with such delicacy and strategy, it’s truly audio magic manipulation.  

First Note Of Love (Taiwan Mon Gaga) eps 7-8 of 12 - I loved how Orca just jumped on the stage. What a great side couple. CHARMED I TELL YOU. Orca was all… singing? Naw. I came back to fuck the manager's brains out. Anything less than that is unacceptable. 

Takara's Treasure AKA Takara No Vidro (Japan Mon Gaga) ep 10 fin - Essentially this was a growth story for Takara and an exercise in patience while the two of them learned each other’s quirks and languages. It was also an exercise in patience for me... who doesn’t like the power differential of a weaker younger character having to do all the pursuing while constantly feeling like he is inferior to the older popular hot character. I know this was a BL that was definitely for some people, since plenty liked it way more than I did, but I didn’t like it very much even though there’s nothing objectively wrong with it. It simply wasn’t to my personal taste. 7/10 

Seoul Blues (Korea Fri? YouTube) ep 5-6 of 8 - Enter an ex or something? Well he certainly has a type. Bah. This whole series seems to be mainly about cheating. It’s very annoying because they are all so pretty. 

Happy of the End (Japan Tues Gaga) - Based on a manga, longer than usual run time. A boy is disowned for being gay, dumped by his boyfriend, and ends up in a dysfunctional co-dependant relationship with his would-be kidnapper. We were due for another messy JBL. Messy gay pain here we go.

Oh it’s exactly what I expected. Do I like it? No I do not. And ya know what? There is plenty airing. I have a bad feeling about this one. DNF 

It's airing but...

4 Minutes (Sat Gaga) eps 1-6 of 8 - Gaga picked this one up so we can watch it there. I'm waiting until the end, it seems angsty and confusing and full of awful people being awful. But also... high heat and I'm shallow. So we shall see which devil wins (and how it ends).

The Hidden Moon (Sat ????) ep 1 of 10 - This is a supernatural romance (my ghost boyfriend trope) ‘เดือนพราง’ by Violet Rain (I Feel You Linger)... A Bangkok writer is hired to write an article about an old mansion in Chiang Mai which is being converted into a café. He gets into an accident and nearly dies on his way there. After that, he sees the ghosts of people who died at the mansion, one boy catches his attention. Was substantially recast. Couldn't find it. Didn't really look.

In case you missed it

Meet You at the Blossom (China) - I'm eating crow, binging the fucker, and live blogging. It's just taking me some time. This isn't really a bingable show, not for me anyway. It's A LOT to take all at once. No new one this week.

Next Week Looks Like This:

Plus:

9/9 Jack & Joker (Thai Mon IQIYI) 12 eps? - Be gay YinWar, do crimes. Dehup gives us Yin, War, Mark and a few other familiar faces in a Leverage sitch, only queerer.

9/14 Love Sick 2024 (Thai Sat ????) ?? eps - Remake of the original. I'm scared too.

9/15 Bad Guy My Boss (Thai Sun Gaga) 10 eps - Assistant to a player boss who is in love with that boss decides to quit to save himself. The boss then makes a move. (A gay What's up with Secretary Kim?)

Upcoming BLs for 2024 are listed here. This list is not kept updated, so please leave a comment if you know something new or RP with additions.

Coming SEPTEMBER 2024:

9/17 Love is Like a Poison AKA Doku Koi: Doku mo Sugireba Koi to Naru (Japan Tues Netflix?) 10 eps - Lawyer and a con artist meet at a bar, pair up, fall in love.

9/28 Teenager Judge (Vietnam Sat YouTube) ?? eps - oh I don't know just Ba Vinh doing his thing with pretty boys again.

9/? The Time of Fever (Korea iQIYI) 6 eps - HoTae & DongHee are back! Side couple from Unintentional Love Story, same actors, same character names I an WILD for this.

THIS WEEK’S BEST MOMENTS

Not sure what this is from but I capped it for a reason so, shrug.

The scent trope AND the childhood crush trope? I see you suckering me into one trope because I like the other. Clever, Battle. Very clever.

(Last week)

Streaming services are listed by how I (usually) watch, which is with a USA based IP, and often offset by a day because time zones are a pain.

The tag BLigade: @doorajar @solitaryandwandering @my-rose-tinted-glasses @babymbbatinygirl @babymbbatinygirl @isisanna-blog @mmastertheone @pickletrip @aliceisathome @urikawa-miyuki @tokillamonger @sunflower-positiiivity @rocketturtle4 @blglplus @anythinggoesintheshire @everlightly @renafire @mestizashinrin @bl-bam-beyond @small-dark-and-delicious @saezurumurmurs

Sigh, Tumblr in its infinite wisdom doesn't like too many at-ings.

[pacifymebby]

Hope u r doing okay ❣️

Which of the peaky men would make the best fathers do you think?

ahhh you caught me at a broody moment bestie so

I think of all the Peaky men Bonnie and John would make the best fathers, they both strike me as family orientated, "fun" dads. They're definitely both very into keeping you pregnant haha, but I will get into that later, here are some quick little HCs about the men as dads <3

Tommy

🌿 "Over Protective Dad"

🌿 He's the serious type of dad, the one with lots of rules, the one who definitely means it when he says "Behave, or else." He's very strict and the children definitely know not to cross him, sometimes you worry that he's too stern... and so does Tommy.

🌿 Because he adores his children, he's so proud of them and he has so much love for them, they're his proof that good things can really exist in this very bitter and twisted world... he just isn't always good at showing that love because the more you love something the more it hurts to lose that thing...

🌿 So he's terrified, every single second of every single day, that he's going to lose his little ones, that one way or another they'll be ripped away from him.

🌿 Thats why he has all these rules, and why he's so determined to see them kept to. Because he doesn't want something bad to happen to his children as a result of his "negligence"

🌿 He's also petrified that he'll be the reason their lives are ruined, he's scared he'll drive them away... a fear which is naturally made worse by his cold exterior and his struggle to be close with his family. He's always putting a distance between himself and the ones he loves, and it traps him in a mean cycle.

🌿 The kind of parent thats always trying to hide the worlds badness from his children, he wants them to stay innocent and care free for as long as possible so he wraps them in cotton wool and won't ever want them to do anything which could risk an unhappy ending.

🌿 That being said he rarely "lets" them win at games.

🌿 He gets very paranoid about their friends, the kind of parent that needs to know his children's friends parents before he lets the kids out of his sight. He worries when they're out after school, even more so if he has daughters.

🌿 Will hate his daughters boyfriends, will try his best to intimidate them.

🌿 His children will grow up resenting him for being controlling but in the end they will understand why he raised them the way he did because,

🌿 Ultimately Tommy is a devoted father figure, he's nurturing to the best of his ability. Nothing will hit harder than a "dad hug" when the kids are upset. He's sentimental as fuck so will make sure he is at every big event in the kids lives, he'll be the one taking photos.

🌿 Will never fail to tell his children he is proud of them. Sometimes it's a little scary when he tells them he loves them because he feels the emotion quite intensely.

🌿 Has killed for his children at least once, is determined they'll never find out.

Arthur

🍂 "Overwhelmed Dad"

🍂 Is absolutely desperate to be a good, hands on father but oh my god is it difficult! Theres so much to remember, so many things which need to be done all at once... He's the father who always has food stains on his shirt, the one who is always at least fifteen minutes late, running down the street with the kids to try and get them into school on time... He forgets stuff all the time, sends the kids to school without a packed lunch or dinner money and has to go running back with it.

🍂 He is very awkward at first because he's paranoid that he will be too rough, hold the baby too tightly, that he's going to hurt them. But he is just so full of love and adoration and even when they're very small his children will sense that love and feel happy whenever daddy is near.

🍂 His children are his sun stars and universe. They're his reason to heal and carry on living despite all the pain he often feels inside. They're his hope.

🍂 Always self conscious that he's being too loud or too rough, he's always swearing then apologising for swearing in front of them. "Son your fathers a very naughty man eh, you shouldn't try to copy him yeah?"

🍂 "fook" is probably one of your babies first words despite all of his efforts. His brothers think that this is completely hilarious but Arthur feels so bad about it.

🍂 He doesn't want his children to grow up to be anything like him, he can't see any of the good that you see in him, only the bad so he's always worrying that his kids will have inherited "the bad seed"

🍂 It isn't true however, where Arthur sees himself as over emotional/ unpredictable with violent mood swings, you see him as a passionate man with real feelings. You see him as someone who needs nurture and care. You're always trying to remind him that his "flaws" make him a more empathetic person, that he'll much better be able to understand his children because of his own life experiences.

🍂 A really defensive father, if his kids get into trouble at school for anything he will be 100% on his kids side, if they were scrapping then the other kid definitely started the fight and deserved it, if they were back chatting a teacher then "what the fuck are you doin eh? You're an adult and you can't stand up to a fucking six year old? Thats mad..."

🍂 You're constantly having to apologise to the school on his behalf but on the plus side your kids aren't ever getting bullied.

🍂 If you have daughters they will definitely be doing their best to keep boyfriends a secret... This is perhaps not really necessary though because ultimately Arthur is a desperately loving father who would do anything to make his kids happy... so your daughters don't need to worry about a thing, as long as their boyfriend intends to marry them and care for them until the end of his days.

John

🌼 "Still a Kid Dad"

🌼 He's the "fun" parent, the soft one that the kids know to ask for extra play time or sweets. They know they can get away with bloody murder when it comes to their dad. If they're boys he's going to be impressed when they manage to weasel their way out of trouble and if they're girls all they have to do is pull those adorable puppy eyes and they will definitely get what they want.

🌼 Absolutely spoils the kids rotten! Basically he lives to see his children smiling and to hear them laughing so he will do whatever he thinks is going to earn him hugs and smiles.

🌼 A real criminal when it comes to feeding the kids things like rice pudding, chocolate pudding "one for you, one for daddy, little scoop for you, big spoon for daddy..."

🌼 Always helping them get up to know good. Teaches them naughty rhymes and then daring them to sing them in front of you so that you're permanently horrified.

🌼 They make him behave like a big kid so he's always playing stupid imaginary games, playing cowboys with them, playing tig, always starting food fights with them any excuse to play fight and tickle them... Any excuse to pick the littlens up and squeeze them in a big hug.

🌼 So many Dad jokes just waiting to be dropped it's like a disease, he just can't stop making the worst jokes you've ever heard and yet his kids think he's hilarious.

🌼 Can, very rarely, but sometimes be serious, but it's only when something very serious has happened such as if he thinks the family is under threat or the children are in danger. It's so rare to see daddy serious that the kids always do as he says in these situations, it's like they can just sense that play time is over.

🌼 Absolutely adoring, falls asleep with the baby on his chest all the time, never wants to put the littlens down. Smothers them in kisses.

🌼 Whenever its your birthday he will gather all the littlens up to try and bake mummy's birthday cake, it will be messy, it will be bordering on a catastrophe, the kids and him will be covered in flour, sugar, cake mix, chocolate, the lot. But it will be the best thing you've ever eaten.

🌼 Perhaps the reason John is the way he is is that he didn't get much of a childhood himself, his own father let him down astronomically when he was a lad and so he's determined that his children are going to have as much fun as possible. He hates seeing them sad, doesn't ever want them to feel let down. So even though you do sometimes get very fed up with always being the "strict" parent you can understand why John is as laidback with he kids as he is. It's because he's trying so hard to give them everything he never had.

🌼 Look he's lowkey addicted to being a dad, wants to have so many children with you, can't keep his hands off you... He will always always be telling you what a good mother you are, how beautiful you look when you're pregnant, how proud he is of you, always talking to you about how together you've made a gorgeous family. Whenever you're holding one of the little ones, or whenever you're playing with the children he'll tell you how much motherhood suits you.

Alfie

🐻 "Grumpy Daddy"

🐻 Wasn't ever really expecting to be a father, wasn't ever really expecting to be a husband either to be honest but well, here he is and he can't say he isn't happy with his lot in life. When he finds out you're pregnant he is stunned, but he's determined to be a good father...

🐻 Always grumbling affectionately about parenthood, if his kids ask for help he'll put on a big song and dance of huffing and puffing and "oh I suppose I have to don't I I suppose I can't say no to my little angel..."

🐻 There is absolutely nothing this man will not whinge about, if theres a birthday party he has to take them to, if its the school run, other children's parents, helping with snack time, helping with homework, reading the bedtime story, carrying the kids when their legs get too tired... He will make a big song and dance all "woe is me the exhausted, overworked father, he never gets a minute to himself, never any peace and quiet, always bending over backwards for his family and what thanks does he get eh? What thanks exactly do I get in return for all this?"

🐻 Usually by the end of these speeches his little ones are giggling and you're affectionately rolling your eyes... Usually a kiss on the cheek is all the thanks he really needs to shut him up. And he's never being serious anyway, he actually really loves being a dad, its much nicer being at home with the family, playing the hero rather than the villain as he does at the bakery and in his dealings with Tommy Shelby.

🐻 Makes up the bedtime stories, they always go on and on and on, with the strangest characters.... Often he will ramble on and lose himself all "and then the princess yeah, the beautiful, mesmerising, heavenly princess in the tower... who looks a lot like you now I come to think of it my little cherub... the princess right, she looks down at the prince and she says, oi, mate... you touch my hair again yeah and I'll chop your head off and kick it like a football all the way to Timbuktu..." "Daddy!" your little one will gasp, giggling and fighting him, "a princess wouldn't say that!" "Well you see this princess would right my little angel cause this Princess yeah, she's a feminist ain't she..."

🐻 Honestly he'd be such a soft father to a little girl, he'd spoil her rotten and she'd be the princess of Camden town. Nothing would ever be good enough for his little cherub.

🐻 Would make a point of turning up on the first day of school so that everyone would know who his kids father is, so that they'd know not to mess with them - teachers included.

🐻 Much like Tommy however he is very overprotective, he has lots of rules as a result of him always worrying about his children. He knows the absolute pits the world can sink to, he knows how dangerous it is out there and therefore he will constantly be werriting about the safety of his children, about who they're friends with, where they hang out. He will run background checks on all their friends. He will send Ollie out spying on them.

🐻 He's the kind of dad who won't forget about Mum, he'll see how tired you are and want to dote on you too. He'll definitely be the first to try and hush the kids so that mummy can have a nap, or he'll take them out to the market to pick out some presents for mummy. He's always reminding them how much their mummy loves them and everything that she does for them, always reminding them to make sure they tell their mother that they love her very much.

🐻 Big on manners. Won't ever swear in front of the children and he won't let them curse either. He also is always reminding them of their manners, will not raise rude children who don't say please and thank you or hold doors open for people.

🐻 Similar to Arthur, his children can never do any wrong, the only person who is going to tell his kids off his him, if a teacher wants to talk about his children's bad behaviour he's going to talk to the teacher about why they're failing as a role model.

Bonnie

🍀 "Nurturing Dad"

🍀 Family is the most important thing in this lads life. He is absolutely devoted to you and the children, he would do anything for you. He never misses anything, from birthdays to bath time, story time... anything, he doesn't want to miss a second of his children's lives.

🍀 He's very laidback, often very cheeky, always very quick to make you and the little ones laugh. Much like John he's the "fun" parent, he's always playing games with the children, loves to make them laugh with silly little slight of hand tricks (definitely overdoes the "coin from behind the ear" trick)

🍀 Will teach his kids boxing, will teach the girls to fight too if its what they want letting them punch his hands and try to take him out (if all the kids gang up on him at once they can wrestle him to the floor so that you have to save him... not that you always feel like it - "hmmm I don't know Bon, I think you might have been asking for it?"

🍀 His favourite thing to do is to gather all the little ones up into bed with you and him, all of you tucked under the covers for a bedtime story. He does the voices but he gets shy in front of you so he can't help but blush when he's doing the silly parts. Encourages the kids to join in and do the voices themselves.

🍀 Loves to teach the littlens things, practical skills like woodworking/ hunting/ how to make a fire or a shelter. Any excuse to take them out into the forest to build a den or go camping.

🍀 He's really traditional and would definitely want to raise the children with traditional traveller values, wants to raise them how he was raised however

🍀 He's ambitious and he doesn't want his children to grow up in the bordering on poverty that he grew up in so he will work so hard to give them anything they could ever desire. He doesn't exactly spoil them because he definitely teaches them the value of their work, but he'd never let his children go without. He never lets you go without either, even if he doesn't want to spoil the children he does want to spoil you, "you deserve it sweetheart, for being such a perfect mammy."

🍀 Wants to have a really big family and loves getting you pregnant. He loves taking care of you and being nurturing when you are pregnant and he loves doting on you and the children... One day when they're all grown up his empty nest syndrome will be worse than yours.

🍀 A really nurturing father, will teach his boys that it's alright to cry and express their emotions, will want to kill anyone who makes his little girls cry. Will teach his sons to look after and love their sisters. Will raise his kids to know that family comes first always. If one of his kids gets into trouble at school for fighting, but it turns out he was fighting to defend his sister, Bonnie will be really proud of them and much to the teachers despair, will tell them "you did the right thing, next time hit him twice, one from me eh?"

🍀 Will do his best to be friendly when his daughters bring boys home but he will need so much support from you, so many gentle reminders to "be nice" because thats his little girl and what if this lad isn't good enough, what if they hurt her or let her down or... You'll probably have to remind him that no matter what no ones going to replace her dad, he'll always be important to her.

Isaiah

🐀 "Cool Dad"

🐀 Don't get me wrong, I'm sure that he's going to mature into a decent father but, it's going to take some time and a lot of growing up.

🐀 I get slightly unreliable vibes from him. He won't take parenthood seriously at first, he'll have no idea how hard it is or how out of his depth he is... He'll definitely think that everyone else is exaggerating when they warn him how much of his life he's going to have to put into being a father... Fatherhood is going to hit him like a freight train.

🐀 He assumes he's going to be great at it because he assumes he's great at everything, but then he's overwhelmed by the long sleepless nights and how difficult it is to read a babies mind... So because he isn't immediately great at it it knocks his confidence a bit, he gets frustrated with himself and becomes convinced that he's "just not meant to be a father"

🐀 So this leads to arguments, naturally... because "you really should have thought about that before you knocked me up Isaiah!" You would start to doubt whether you could rely on him, whether he resents you and the children as a burden, whether he even wants to stay with you or whether he's going to leave...

🐀 When you argue about that fact and you come out with "well if you're so fucking unhappy why don't you just leave... if you're so convinced you're not meant to be a father we'll just have to get by without you won't we..." He'd be stunned by this outburst and genuinely have no idea where it's come from. Because he's stupid.

🐀 He'd be really taken back but forced to consider your words he'd start to realise that this is hard for both of you, that you're both doing something you've never done before, that the responsibility is new and tiring for you both... just because he thinks you're better at it than he is doesn't mean you're not also just making it up as you go along...

🐀 And your suggestion that he might want to leave you makes him realise just how much he could lose, makes him realise that he doesn't want to lose you or the little ones, that even if its hard he wants so badly to be a good man and father.

🐀 So then he'd start trying a lot harder, he'd stop expecting to get everything right the first time, he'd start trying to learn from you. Like I said, he's going to be a good father, but it's going to take time.

🐀 In awe of how good at mothering you are, doesn't understand how you can be soft and gentle and patient when the baby won't stop crying... He longs to develop that kind of patience but honestly, you have the patience of a saint and he knows he's never going to be as easy tempered as you.

🐀 He's a strange mixture of over protective and completely irresponsible, he takes the children with him to the pub, he lets them sip the foam from his beer to teach them that they won't like it. He will let them run riot at family gatherings.

🐀 Has definitely forgotten then baby and left them sleeping in their carrier under the table at the pub at least once.

🐀 However, the children are never allowed out of his sight, they can go to these places but only with him where he's there to look after them. His theory is that if he's so strict that his children never get to have any fun, they'll grow up wanting to break rules and do stupid dangerous things just for the sake of rebelling, so he's cool about it, he lets them drink when they're older so that they'll see theres nothing special about it, he'll let them hang around with the Blinders so that the mystery and glamour is taken out of it... whether this tactic works you'll have to wait and see, you're not entirely confident however...

🐀 He will be the kind of parent that speaks to his children like they're adults, they're going to learn swearing and sarcasm and back chat really young and its going to be a nightmare.

🐀 Will be suspicious of all boys who so much as look at his daughters because he was a teenage boy once and he knows what they're like. Whenever you remind him, "we were just as bad at that age..." he'll say "exactly and look where it got us, I'm not having some halfwit knock up my daughter!"

🐀 sometimes you think he says that just so you'll tell him that actually he makes a really good father.

Michael

☘️ "Perfectionist Dad"

☘️ Being a father is probably more important to Michael than you realise... Having been taken from his real family when he was very young, he feels there's a part of childhood which he was robbed of and he's determined to make sure his own children have the best childhood.

☘️ Because of this he has quite a few rules that he sets, he just wants his children to be safe and to not waste their potential... however he will occasionally be soft on these rules and let things slide if he thinks it's going to make the children and you happy.

☘️ He puts so much pressure on himself to be the perfect father. He will never express his doubts to you but he has such high expectations of himself and you can tell. Sometimes you have to give him a kiss on the cheek and remind him that as long as he's doing his best thats all that matters, that his children will love him even if he makes mistakes. That you think he's a really good father and wouldn't ever wish for anyone else to be the dad to your kids.

☘️Tries his best to be supportive, sometimes struggles to be patient because he's a logical thinker and you can't always solve baby's crying the way you can a maths problem. Imagine him trying to reason with a toddler who won't eat their rice pudding... "Look you might not appreciate this right now little one but this snack is highly nutritious, its an excellent source of protein and its got lots of calcium which is especially important for making you grow big and strong just like daddy... so even if you don't like it eh, better to eat it up..." "Michael he's two..." "I'm just explaining...." "T W O"

☘️ You wouldn't expect it of him, and it's definitely something he struggles with a little however he's always determined to be an affectionate and loving father. He definitely comes off as being too serious when he kisses his children on the forehead and tells them he loves them, but they always know they can come to him when they need a hug.

☘️ He's a really attentive father when it comes to things like waking up in the night if the kids have had a nightmare or something, he will let you get your much needed rest and he'll be the one to deal with all issues nocturnal. Can change a nappy in his sleep, can pretty much sleep walk between your bed and the kids bedroom to answer their crying in the night.

☘️Will spoil his daughters rotten and accidentally raise princessy types. Doesn't really see the problem however because he thinks they're perfect in every way and deserve the absolute best.

☘️ Just like Tommy he is determined they will keep their childhood and their innocence for as long as possible. He will do his best to keep his children away from the family business, he doesn't want them to know that their father is a criminal and he certainly doesn't want them to ever know of all the evil things him and his cousins have done in the past. As a result he tells his children a lot of lies, feels incredibly guilty for being dishonest, and then ends up telling even more lies anyway.

☘️ He absolutely doesn't want his girls anywhere near boys, especially not peaky boys. He doesn't even really like them getting to see their cousins at family gatherings, is always reminding them that they're not like their cousins, they're honest well behaved children, their cousins are wild and can't be trusted.

☘️ Will try to teach his children to be brave, will want them to be able to stand up for themselves. He's a man with childhood trauma and he wishes he'd had the "wits" to defend himself as a child so he wants his own children to be able to fight back. However, a key component of this is that he wants his children to be able to tell him anything and know that their dad will always be on their side, he doesn't want them to keep any secrets from him at all. Wants them to know he will never be angry at them and that it's always better to tell daddy everything.

☘️ If anyone ever threatens or hurts his children he will probably genuinely plot to kill them, have them killed.

Taglist: @inalovesrabbits-blog@zablife @jomarch-wannabe @itsghostgirlyo @marwwfairy @toddlerbodybag @everysage @tommyshelbywhore @kas3ylovesyou @starrykit @call-sign-shark @liliac-dreamer @mollybegger-blog @impossibleheartflower @cocoaflowers

[giamee]

CHAPTER X! play stupid games, win stupid prizes

<- prev masterlist next ->

and now, finally, everyone was heading back to the hostel to rest. now, finally, you had a chance to talk to alhaitham about what exactly had happened between the two of you not even 24 hours ago.

he wasn't miles ahead at the front of the group now as you walked back, something that you silently rejoiced in as you didn't think that you had it in you to walk any faster than you already were. the universe seemed to have some good in store for you, as everyone else was a few metres ahead, with just the two of you trailing after them.

it took a few moments for you to build the courage to go up to him, a newfound fear of rejection taking root whenever you initiate an interaction with him. ultimately, you didn't want everything that had happened last night to grow into something worse. you missed the looks that you shared with him across tables, across rooms, and his silent presence that you had grown more than accustomed to. you didn't like its absence, not one bit.

"can we talk?"

your voice was clear this time, thank god, and alhaitham froze a little before slowing to match your pace.

"about what?" you couldn't believe him right now.

"you know what."

his face didn't give away anything, again, and you found yourself envious of his ability to do so. if he were to look at you properly, he could probably read every single thought of yours just by the look on your face, and easily decipher just how much you were putting on the line with this conversation.

alhaitham paused again, and you wanted to shake him and scream.

"let's talk back at the hostel."

"okay." at least it was something. barely.

there was silence again, the maddening and uncomfortable type as you walked back to the hostel, feeling so much like a doomed repetition of the night before.

thoughts churned around your head as you walked, not even sure of what you wanted to say. you were too tired to do so during the day, with dehya and nilou keeping you distracted. and now that it mattered most, you were drawing blanks.

you felt hazy for the rest of the walk back. to any passerby, you probably looked like a couple in the middle of an argument, walking back to your room while sulking at each other. any reality would be better than this one.

and finally, alhaitham pulled you to the side, ever so subtly, into a small alcove in the corridor leading up to the room. he was close, enough that your shoes almost touched as you stood opposite each other. that fact didn't help you in trying to organise your thoughts enough to ask him a question.

"what did you want to talk about?" his voice is a little softer now, probably more hushed to avoid anyone eavesdropping on your conversation.

you paused for a second, thinking about what exactly you did want to say to him.

"i guess.... i just want to know what you were thinking when you did.... that." you couldn't even say kiss right now. it felt too sweet of a word to taint with what you were feeling right now.

"look, it was a mistake, alright? i'm sorry that it happened, it shouldn't have-"

"did you do it because you have feelings for me or because you were drunk?" you didn't even expect to blurt that out, and it hung suspended in the air as you searched his face for any sign of emotion.

there was a long silence after that. he didn't drop your gaze from where you stood chest to chest in that little alcove in the hallway. you could make out the barely there movement of his chest as he breathed, and only now could you get some idea that right now he was thinking hard about something. the pit in your stomach grew.

"if i were you... i would just move on."

in less than 24 hours, he had managed to rip your heart out of your chest and trample on it twice.

"i see."

it was succinct enough- you doubt any more words had to be spoken even if you could think of some. alhaitham nodded, a crease between his brows as his inner conflict became more obvious to you.

he left you stood there to turn towards the room door, only pausing once to look back, muttering an "i'm sorry" before disappearing. the soft click of the door shutting behind him

some small relief was that the tears only began to fall when you were alone, with no audience to watch your face scrunch up as you slumped a little against the wall, feeling so small and insignificant as you began to cry silently.

you didn't even want to tell your friends right now, sure that their sympathy would only make you feel even more sorry for yourself. no, this was a time to lick your wounds in private, and allow yourself these ten minutes of weakness before you put this behind you once and for all and just move on.

his words left a bitter taste in your mind, and while it hurt to come crashing down to earth from the fairytale version of him that had dissolved in front of your eyes, it had to be done. so you cried until your eyes felt dry, and only then got your own key out and joined the rest of your friends in the room.

just move on. alhaitham's words were still rattling around in your head as you came back inside the room, checking your reflection in the mirror as you brushed your teeth and got ready to sleep, making sure that you definitely did not look like you had been crying for the past ten minutes. running cold water over your wrists helped, as did washing your face right after.

another small relief from the universe was the fact that the door separating the bathroom from the beds was closed, hiding your blotchy and puffy face as you tried to return back to normal.

just move on. it really was no big deal. just a difference in expectations. some juvenile part of you still clung to the possibility that this was all because alhaitham had feelings for you, but the cynicism was beginning to take hold, extinguishing those burning embers of hope.

you paused now, face still wet, and just looked at your reflection. other then your eyes being slightly bloodshot, there were no other signs of what had just transpired in the hallway. good.

you heard the door open, turning your head just in time to see cyno slip into the bathroom as well. he shoots you a bashful smile, one that you return as the cogs in your head start to whirr.

just move on, right?

"hey, wanna watch a movie with me? i'm not really tired yet." you cringed internally at the sickly sweet tone of your voice, though it seemed to have its desired affect as cyno began to deliberate. you already knew what the answer would be despite the hesitance in his face.

"... yeah. sure." not even a false pretence of asking if you were sure.

"cool, just get into my bed when you're done." you breezed past him, getting comfortable despite what you were sure was some sort of adrenaline rush starting to invade your system.

those few minutes cyno spent in the bathroom seemed to stretch for too long, with you having already pulled up the movie that you had initially downloaded for the plane trip, leaving it ready and you growing increasingly antsy.

by the time he came back into the room, the lights were all of, and except for the slither of light let in as the dokr opened and closed, it was completely dark as cyno carefully approached your bed, getting in with minimal effort or noise on his part. he always had been particularly agile.

his arm brushed against yours as he shuffled up so that you would lie side by side, both huddled transfixed at the small screen of your phone for the movie to play on. and when you were both comfortable, you pressed play.

the movie was nothing special, really. some half-hearted comedy meant to kill time instead of sleeping. but then again, this wasn't ever really about watching the movie. it was obvious by the way both of your breaths hitched whenever one of you would lean in a little too close, ever so gradual over the course of the movie until your sides were pressed flush against each other, your soft skin meeting his, angles and curves complementing each other and slotting together.

and it felt nice. it felt familiar. it was a nice distraction from the movie.

"should i go back to my bed?" it was silent in the room by now apart from the two of you lying side by side. the credits of the movie rolled, now forgotten as you turned to look at cyno properly. you would really hate if he accidentally awoke anyone right now, disturbing their precious slumber as he climbed down from your creaky bed and into his.

"only if you want to." cyno paused, though there didn't seem to be much conflict in his eyes before he stared resolutely back, giving you your answer.

was this a good idea? absolutely not.

did you feel bad about it? hard to say.

but by now, cyno was getting comfortable, laying down properly on your pillow. his arm brushed against you, and you didn't shy away.

despite every warning you screamed internally, you shuffled even closer to his touch. he was warm, chest solid against you just how you remembered. you vaguely thought of just how easy it was to lie next to him, a bitter pang of remembering how there was once a time where this would be part of your nighttime routine. the synchronity of you and cyno, all the joy and love that had been shared in those moments.

you even realised that you were in what had once been your favourite sleeping position, with him on his back, arm looped around you as you rest on his chest. one arm resting on him, the other looped around your middle with his hand holding yours. his fingers, you noticed, were even idly playing with yours like he used to do every time the two of you laid like this.

yet things were different now. you weren't dating any more. you just got your heart broken by a man who wasn't even lying next to you, but a few beds away, and your thoughts kept straying back to him.

just move on. the arm looped around you now felt foreign, the breathing pattern underneath you no longer sounding familiar, and you suddenly felt like a stranger to cyno all over again.

you're not even sure of the exact reason as to why tears begin to fall. you let them drip down your face, onto the soft material of cyno's, your ex's, shirt, letting the liquid trek past the contours of your nose and cheeks.

and as you cried quietly, cyno laid there, arm still around you but otherwise still. despite the fact that you were lying on him, it still felt like he was a thousand miles away, leaving you truly alone to let the tears continue to fall.

all in an attempt to just move on.

✦ ⠂⠂୨୧ trivia :: when cyno climbed into your bed, not everyone was asleep. kaveh noticed, and simply shot alhaitham a puzzled glance, which the grey-haired man refused to meet, deciding to instead feign sleep instead

✦ ⠂⠂୨୧ gia's notes :: another text only chapter yayyyyy. this officially marks the beginning of things getting Messy™️ also L haitham rn sorry guys :( this chapter was so cinnamon girl by ldr coded icl

✦ ⠂⠂୨୧ taglist :: ( if you would like to be added / your username changed let me know! ) @makimakimi @aeongiies @sukunasrealgf @ssoliva @sakiimeo @eggn0gcookie @yxcade @fiona782 @heartswonder @eunchaeluvr @clumsyphuq @pinksodacan @aelxr @themusingsofmany @obervation-subject-753 @kittycasie @aimno256 @maxineshearts @mafuyuslover @meigalaxy @mintydump @v4lerixxq @artwitchh @geo-hew-hew @imkaaayy @c4tsfr0mh3ll @kokoscutie @erzarq @eu-la @ddiluc @ichikaisflowers @rahhhmen @esmetrees @rain-and-a-nice-nap @g8mmaaaa

[crabonfire]

mercs with reader who has poetic rizz 🫶

characters: all mercs

warnings: corny poetry / letters

note: I'm writing this because I write very badly written poetry myself and I just wanted to share 👍👍👍 this is very random haha

reader is shy abt their writing and gets embarrassed showing or talking abt it (that's how I react when I show people my corny poetry agahwhsg) all the poems have dumb names

♡Scout♡

• he doesn't understand what the fuck any of it means but it sure sounds smart and sophisticated.

• he would be messing around in your notebook and finding very well written lines of romantic and depressing poetry, finds it actually very attractive?? he has a thing for "smart people" stuff.

• he found a love poem you made, went along the lines of:

The day we ultimately leave this plane of existence, If in a time of judgement, I'd get to have live again. I'd search every corner of this vast, timeless universe just to see you again.

• and when he saw the note at the end that said "for my love" He felt like combusting on the spot.

• when he brings it up he's like "You wrote this for me?" And if you get all shy and stuff he's honestly gonna kiss you so hard. If your nervous about your writing he's the best hypeman 🫶🫶

• brags about it to the others but never shows them any poems you have, wants to keep them to himself <33 definitely has written copies of your poems in his room.

♡Pyro♡

• hubba hubba

• bro is honestly so honored my god

• he'd be snooping around in your room because he was looking for you and find pieces of paper on your desk, filled with romantic letters. Some have been scribbled over, probably some you didn't like. One reads,

Even in the sheer and agonising cold, I can still feel the fire in my fingertips when I'm with you.

You're my source of warmth in the winter, my light at the end of the tunnel, my everything.

I'd go through a hundred battles if I knew you'd be the one I protect.

• and when he reads, "for my firefly."

• you got em blushing under the mask fr,, bro is kicking his feet in the air, punching the wall, shaking the paper like a crazed fangirl...dawggg

• when he finds you, he will literally shake you around like a pinata, shoving the paper in your face and practically asking "is this about me"

• when you smile and nod in response, you get a squeal out of him, hugging you tightly and giggling uncontrollably as he...purrs??? on you?? rizz so poetic you turned bro into a cat...wtf

• will show engie and beg you if he can see more poetry. Will attempt to do it for you because he wants to impress you 🫶

♡Soldier♡

• you were writing on your notebook for a while in the common room while everybody was up to their own thing, and he was quite curious on what you were doing.

He asked but you were too embarrassed to say what it was, he caught on and took a peek from the side, making you look away and frown, a blush forming at your face.

You're like no man I've ever met, a stern and determined figure that manages to surpass expectation.

What I'd do to kiss you, I'd cross the lands far wide just for a chance to gaze upon your beautiful face.

You have such a fire in your eyes when you set your mind to something. Those baby blues have me in a chokehold, I wonder what fire will arise when you look at me.

I'd do anything, anything at all if it meant I'd be the one to start that flame.

• "...WHO IS THIS FOR?"

You pause for a bit and sigh, "You."

He takes a second, reading everything back again he feels his face start to heat up tremendously. His knees feel weak, head is dizzy, and he has the stupidest smile on his face.

• he grabs you by the shoulders, making you stand up as he aggressively kisses you, pulling back he says "EXCELLENT WORK. I AM HONORED TO BE WRITTEN ABOUT SO BEAUTIFULLY. THANK YOU CADET!"

• he walks away with the biggest fucking grin ever he might start fucking skipping.

You're just left there with a red face, stunned and confused on what to do.

♡Demo♡

• he likes to talk to you a lot, so this would probably pop up in a convo. you talk about arts, and you mention the fact you do poetry in your spare time.

He jokingly asks if you made any about him, fully expecting you to snort and shake your head. But when you go silent, looking away for a second he immediately feels like he's going to burst. You've written poetry about him?

He begs you for a good 15 minutes until you agree to show him, bringing it up even after you've changed the topic of conversation.

• He watches you pull out your notebook with excitement, he's already grinning even before you show him. You huff, handing him the book with a page that says "corny poem for demo I'm never showing him" and he laughs at that.

The poem goes,

My dear, words can not express the sheer adoration I have for you.

I was never fond of drinks myself, but if alcohol ever tasted like you, I'd have become a crazed drunkard whose only relief was alcohol.

Your lips are so soft. When they kiss my skin, it feels as though I have just been blessed by the heavens above.

• bro has his jaw dropped to the floor, face tinted a dark red as he literally has to blink to see if this was about HIM?

• he's laughing, shaking his head and covering his face in embarrassment.

"I cannae believe this. This...this is for me?"

You simply nod.

"Dear lord, yer an angel ya know that?" He leans in and kisses you, then kisses you some more all over your face, making you giggle, pulling you into his lap and having a full on make out session.

He'll kiss your neck and leave marks, whispering sweet compliments, repetitions of "thank you's," and "I love you's" over and over. If he fell head over heels for you, then now he's fell for real and dropping into a pit of neverending love for you <3

♡Heavy♡

• I'd say he found them on accident, he insisted on helping you clean your room when you got too tired to do it, and as he was reorganising your desk he found your notebook laid open, and curiously, he read the specific page.

The title was "hahsjfjfjdkskzncn"

The way your arms wrap around my waist makes it feel like it's just the two of us against this cruel world.

But even with my upsetting mindset, you manage to find a way to strip me of those thoughts, and every day, the colour in this world gets a little brighter.

I love your laugh, and when you do it, the angels sing to the gods. My heart always longs to be within your presence because it feels like I'm floating whenever I'm with you.

• he blushes, and blushes even more when he sees the note at the end written "for misha (I'll probably never show him this it's corny asl)" and he doesn't smile, he doesn't even show any form of expression, but his face is so red he could pass as a tomato.

He doesn't bring it up right away, but when he finishes cleaning your room, he talks to you about it with a flustered expression, voice low and quiet with cheeks dusted a rosy pink.

"I like the poem. It is quite lovely, thank you."

You just sorta sit there kind of embarrassed of your poem and nodding aggressively.

• he thinks of that poem a lot, and if he finds out you've made more for him he's actually gonna burst.

♡Engie♡

• finds out similarly with how Heavy and Pyro did!! He fell asleep in your room while you two were cuddling, and it happened to be a ceasefire day so yall had nothing to do. He's a real heavy sleeper so while you were showering he was still snoring loudly.

but then a couple minutes later after you did, he woke up.

• he rubbed his eyes and decided to get cups of coffee for the both of you. he placed the cups on your desk and noticed your notebook was open. Not so subtly, he started to read what was written.

"I love texans" was the title, he smirked at that.

The moon and the stars don't even compare to you, and the heat of the sun can't even be on the same level as how warm you make me feel.

I can't take it when you're away. It's like a part of my heart starts to shatter at your absence. The days feel like weeks, the longer you're away. I miss you even when you're just in the other room, I miss your voice even when we just started to talk.

Your words are so sweet to me, and it seems I've developed a sweet tooth just for you.

• 🙁🙁🙁🙁🙁😞😞😞😭😭😭😭

• bro felt like sobbing to be honest, smiling like a goof and screaming internally.

he will join you in the shower,trailing his fingers over your body and leaving feathery kisses over your back. you'd giggle, asking him what gotten him in such a mood. all he'll do is hum, washing your body as he continues kiss you in all sorts of places.

• like Scout, he finds it a weirdly attractive trait, like the romantic essence of it yk??

• the entire day he'll just be so much softer than usual, melting like a puddle around you when he randomly recalls the poem. Will definitely bring it up later, complimenting you and asking you about it.

( OK I ran out of ideas for romantic poems so I'm not writing them anymore SORRYYYYYYYY)

♡Medic♡

• You were high in anaesthesia after an operation, where he was fixing you up after a big battle. You two talked the night away, and you mentioned your hobbies when he was asking you, you blurt out your writing hobby and he seems very interested!

So in your fuzzy state, you pull your notebook outta yer ass and let him flip through the pages himself.

• he's quite surprised, very impressed at your writing abilities. Some of the poetry is sad, and he can truly resonate with some. Then, he sees one that catches his eyes, it's labelled "doctors!! ahhh!!"

he has a amused grin on his face, "is zhis one about me?" You chuckle, nodding aggressively like a drunk child.

• when he reads it, thay amused expression turns to one of embarrassment. It feels as though you've lifted him off of his feet, he knows it's rather corny, but it's so damn romantic he can't take it.

"woah!! your face is all red man, sorry for making you so flustered I just got that poetic rizz AHAHAHAHAHAHAHAAA-"

he shakes his head literally having no idea what that means and a weary smile forms on his face, not expecting the poem to be so specific.

But he reads it again, and again. Each repetition he melts even more at your endearing words about him. He can't help but feel overjoyed, his eyes soften when he meets your gaze.

He leans into the patient chair to give you a kiss on the forehead, gazing into your eyes and whispering, "Ich liebe dich, mein schatz. Danke, this is beautiful." He kisses you once more, on your nose this time making you giggle.

(I love doctors!! ahhh!!)

♡Sniper♡

• I don't think he'd be the type to uh, snoop around for your stuff, or even do anything remotely close without asking for it, so in terms of poetry he'd find you doing it like soldier did.

• you two were sitting under a tree near his van, a nice date in the woods for you both to get out of the chaos and just be alone.

• he rested his head on your shoulder, as you wrote intensely on your notebook. It was quiet, but it was a peaceful one.

"Hey, what'cha writin' there?"

You hum in reply, "Nothing."

"Really? Cause you've been writing for a bit now."

You just smile, continuing to write.

• After a bit you finish writing, and he takes a peek, "my star"

he smiled, it was about him. Well, he assumed.

Slowly, he read the lines of poetry that were just finished. You were reading it back, too. As he did, he couldn't help the heat that rose to his cheeks, and a downturned smile appeared on his face as he looked away, covering his face with his hat.

You noticed, looking at him and blushing as well.

"Oh. Did you.. read it?"

He paused, putting the hat back on his hat but still looking away. "Yea."

It was silent again, until he asked;

"...Is it about me?"

You smiled, "Well of course. Who else would it be about?"

His cheeks reddened even more, and then he went back to lean on your shoulder with a shy smile. One that you mirrored, tucking loose hair away from the sides of your face.

"It's cute."

"Thank you, its about you so of course it is."

He screamed internally at that. He just chuckled.

• Here you are, fully grown adult mercenaries, acting like little kids who are going on their first date. Those corny sentences you wrote will be stuck in his mind for weeks, months maybe...he's so in love with you man.

♡Spy♡

• he found out the same as soldier did, in the common room after everybody ate, you were sitting at a desk with a cup of coffee, writing something on your notebook. Truth be told, you had finished it, you were just contemplating if you wanted to show it to spy or not, you knew he'd love it, but a part of you knew it was also super corny.

"What are you writing, my dear?"

You screamed, shocked at his presence, slapping your hands on your notebook in an attempt to hide it.

"HUH?? WRITINF?? OH YEAHHHH just some uh, stuff. Yeah." You laugh nervously, a comically large bead of sweat streams from your face.

• he simply smirks, taking the book out of your hands and seeing what you're so embarrassed about. All you could do was sit, flushed face and eyebrows furrowed.

" 'poem, maybe I'll show him, i don't know.' This is for me, hm?"

You nod, covering your face with your hands and curling into a ball.

• he reads it, his expression is unclear, but he's intensely memorising the words you've written about him. It's so...romantic. He feels his cheeks heat up, and all he does is smile, eyes lidded full of admiration for what you've written.

"This is beautiful. I didn't know you were such a poet, why didn't you tell me?"

"..its embarrassing. It's not even that good, too. I just... do it when I'm bored."

He shakes his head, "Ma petite chou-fleur, you are a true artist. I am honoured to be written in such a way by such a lovely person such as yourself. You should not underestimate yourself, this is...wonderful."

He smiled at your adorable reaction. He kneels and takes your hand, giving it a kiss. "To know such kind hands think of me in such a way makes my head spin...for once, you've truly captivated me."

"And if it's alright, I would love to read more of your work. Poetry is truly difficult, yet you've managed to write so emotionally."

You can't believe what he says, but you can tell he's being genuine by his soft smile, one you rarely see. With your face still as red as a tomato, you nod, mirroring the smile he has.

• You two spend your time together in the common rooms talking about poetry, he's constantly complimenting you, and any person who walks by to see what your up to, he immediately starts to talk about your poetry, even going as far as to show it to them, telling them how good it is.

he's definitely asking for some pieces of your poetry, keeping it in a folder to read whenever he misses you.

done!!!

hide yo girls, the rizzler is here 💯💯💯🔥🔥🔥‼️‼️‼️

[xanasaurusrex]

⇢ ˗ˏˋ zeus cabin headcanons ࿐ྂ

a/n: these are my headcanons for the children of zeus! i love thinking about what traits kids of certain gods and goddesses would have, and since zeus is the king of the gods, i thought it would only be fitting to start with zeus! these are less about like powers and stuff like that and more just about how they would be as people!

zeus kids can get kinda crazy

they're always the life of the party, and yet somehow they also shut down the party?

they're just good at knowing when things are getting too out of hand

speaking of knowing things

it's almost as if they have a sixth sense in knowing things, just like general things

oh this person liked this other person

the zeus kids already knew

you cheated on your math test?

yeah, they had a feeling

that kinda stuff

zeus kids also all weirdly have this universal little tic where when they're really bored, they'll rub their hands against something that can create static, and then play with the static in their hands

they can do the thing where they kind of roll it from one finger to another, and then back again

they can also utilize this to shock people, but only ever so slightly

technically they could summon a whole storm and electrocute someone, but very rarely do they have that urge

another thing to mention:

zeus children can hold a grudge

they're masters at being mad at someone for something they did days, weeks, months, or even years in the past that likely they forgot they did

but zeus kids didn't

they never forget

honestly even a bad first impression can really affect your relationship with a child of zeus, because they don't forget things easily

their minds are steel traps

children of zeus are also natural born leaders

this can cause quite the scene when there are multiple zeus kids up for a leadership position because they all fall into a leader role just naturally

a lot of people appreciate this because they're saved from having to lead themselves

but others find this incredibly annoying, and think that zeus kids are all very arrogant and full of themselves

there are some that are like that, thinking they're better because their dad is zeus

but that kind of reaction to being a child of zeus is pretty rare

most of the time it brings them great annoyance because monsters can smell them from farther away, and it makes them much more eligible for dangerous quests, which sometimes is a good thing, but when the mortality rate for a quest that dangerous is usually 0, it can be a little daunting

probably the best trait that children of zeus possess is their loyalty

i understand that this probably doesn't make much sense, considering the fact that zeus was never really known for being very loyal to pretty much anyone in his life

but zeus kids are

this is observed the best during battle, when they would do anything and everything for the people fighting alongside them

they're loyal friends and lovers, too

which, again, doesn't make a lot of sense when looking at who their dad is

but a lot of their lives have been negatively affected by him being disloyal, so a lot of them have a tendency to make sure they're loyal so that they don't end up like him

as amazing as zeus thinks he is, a lot of his kids aren't his biggest fans

in conclusion, zeus kids are pretty cool

they definitely have their flaws

(such as having a tendency to flake last minute when it comes to making plans with other people)

but ultimately they're pretty good people

they're very skilled when it comes to battle, and they're good friends

basically just good people to surround yourself with

a/n: so i won't be doing author's notes at the end of everything, but i just wanted to thank you for reading my very first official post! i'm going to be doing headcanons for the other gods and goddesses, both major and minor, because i just find writing for that kinda stuff really fun! also i really love headcanons (totally not because they're easier to write than full fics, definitely not at all)

anyways, thanks for reading, and be on a lookout for more stuff in the future!

[thegambitgazette]

Know Thyself: How This One Exercise Shaped My Writing

“Know Thyself” Interpretations

Heraclitus: “It belongs to all men to know themselves and think well.”

Charles H. Kahn: this fragment echoes a traditional belief that “know thyself" had an essentially similar meaning to the second Delphic maxim, “nothing too much;” both sayings might be considered alternative ways of describing the virtue of sophrosyne.

Heraclitus defines sophrosyne as the art of “perceiving things according to their nature,” apparently referring to the perception of objective, material facts. If so, and if self-knowledge is the same as sophrosyne, then, as Kahn writes, “the deepest structure of the self will be recognized as co-extensive with the universe in general … so true self-knowledge will coincide with knowledge of the cosmic order.”

A fragment from Ion of Chios provides the earliest explicit reference to the maxim. It reads: “This ‘know yourself’ is a saying not so big, but such a task Zeus alone of the gods understands.”

“The unexamined life is not worth living” -Socrates

Soliloquies of Augustine: The book has the form of an “inner dialogue" in which questions are posed, discussions take place and answers are provided, leading to self-knowledge. The first book begins with an inner dialogue which seeks to know a soul. In the second book it becomes clear that the soul Augustine wants to get to know is his own.

The Consolation of Philosophy: Boethius writes The Consolation of Philosophy as a conversation between himself and a female personification of philosophy, referred to as “Lady Philosophy.” Philosophy consoles Boethius by discussing the transitory nature of wealth, fame, and power (“no man can ever truly be secure until he has been forsaken by Fortune"), and the ultimate superiority of things of the mind, which she calls the “one true good.” She contends that happiness comes from within, and that virtue is all that one truly has because it is not imperiled by the vicissitudes of fortune.

Meditations: Marcus Aurelius likely didn’t intend for Meditations to be published, as the work centered around his own self-analysis and self-guidance. Aurelius advocates finding one's place in the universe and sees that everything came from nature, and so everything shall return to it in due time. Another strong theme is of maintaining focus and to be without distraction all the while maintaining strong ethical principles such as “Being a good man.”

...to think that all of these classic works are “regular” people figuring themselves out. I decided to do the same.

Writing My Own “Soliloquy”

I’d like to clarify that I, in no way shape or form, see myself as this great thinker or philosopher or anything like that. I recognize that this practice is but one way to understand myself, especially since I struggle with mental health and a lot of spiritual questions (but that’s another topic).

In choosing to write my own soliloquy, I am becoming my own Devil’s Advocate. Like Boethius, I’ve decided to structure my journaling as if I am arguing with someone. I will choose a topic that I am passionate about or that I am having my own crisis over, such as “Why do I not believe I am a good person?” or “Why do I prefer logic over emotion?” or even “What draws me to classical paintings?”

What I found is that anything and everything that I am attached to says something about me on a deeper level.

Here is where it gets a little tricky: in continuing to argue with myself, I’ve found that I get better at coming up with counter points. In other words, this self-analysis becomes more and more complex the more used to it you get. It’s almost like you’re playing some mind chess and this fictional opponent, who is also you, as they are but your own Devil’s Advocate, is also getting better and learning with you.

But, to me, that is what makes this “Know Thyself” maxim important. You are not meant to have a full-fledged answer. We are constantly evolving and changing, as will our knowledge of how we perceive ourselves and how we perceive the world in response to it.

How It Affects My Writing

To start with the obvious, the character development and creation changes so much when you get to know yourself. At least, for me, the world becomes less and less black and white (not that it ever was black and white to begin with). Because of that, my characters become more dimensional.

I am no longer afraid to write controversy. There is a... debate, for a lack of better words, on the media literacy rate nowadays. Because of this, I would fear that, just because I wrote about it, people would assume that I am in support of it; or, for example, just because there is a mainstream focus on one demographic, that nuances of that focus cannot be written about (again, another topic).

However, writing my soliloquies reminds me that my work is meant to be a message from myself to the audience first and entertainment second.

As artists, authors, creators, etc., there is a danger in losing ourselves to appease the masses. There is the question of whether we should create what we want or stick to what is trending, and I’m not immune to that spiral, either.

In knowing yourself, you become your #1 advocate. You know what your boundaries are, what your morals are, and what your values are. It gets harder to allow those who don’t do that same work to sway your pen.

Closing Words

Whatever form that takes, get to know yourself. For me, that’s journaling whenever I can as if I’m debating with someone. Grab a journal meant specifically for this exercise and go crazy! No one’s going to read it (unless you become someone like Marcus Aurelius and your own version of Meditations comes out. In which case... sorry?)

Never stop challenging the way you think, too. It can be uncomfortable and hard, but change always is. Perhaps you will stick to your ideals, and that’s okay, too! Do not live life on the easy path.

As always, these exercises are not a substitute for professional or medical help. I will always encourage those who need it to seek therapy, as I believe it is a great tool to use alongside this exercise, should one feel inclined to do so.

[dailyadventureprompts]

Monsters Reimagined: Asmodeus, Lord of all Hells

I think I know what may be happening....You’re trying to atone me, and I didn’t do anything wrong...You want to know what I’ve always hated about mortals? why I spit on your forgiveness, why I loathe your redemption? To reach a hand down to somebody they need to be beneath you,

And I’m Beneath Nobody.

Brennan Lee Mulligan as Asmodeus for Exandria Unlimited: Calamity

@pikablob​ was asking about my ideas on devils and mentioned Asmodeus in the process, and while I’ve already done a monster’s reimagined on devils, I figured it was a good opportunity to talk about my take on the biggest of big bads. To summarize, I like to go back to the mythological roots of devils less as agents of a universal evil but as individual manifestations of judgment, looking to test or punish mortals for their failings. This ( along with Brennan’s showstopping performance in calamity) gave me the idea of an Asmodeus as the ultimate critic of mortalkind, an entity that can see all of our flaws and nothing of our virtues.

TLDR:  There are many evil gods, wicked things that preside over cruelty and misfortune in all its forms, but there are few that would claim to be the god of evil itself. Though to hear the lord of all hells tell it, there is nothing touched by mortals that is NOT evil: no act that is not in some way rooted in self interest, no moment of self determination that is not a transgression, no soul that is not some way corrupted. To allow the Father of Sin into your heart is to accept that people are fundamentally wicked creatures deserving of punishment, and that punishment cannot come soon enough.

Bio: Ruling from the lowest depths of the pit, Asmodeus sits a throne surveying an empire built on torture and damnation and deems it insufficient. There is evil in the multiverse and that evil is called mortals, things gifted with the tiniest spark of life who every day choose the wickedness of existence. His purpose is  to be the scourge that drives the animal towards the slaughterhouse, to take hold of mortal life and shape it into useful purpose, with the only useful purpose being the ultimate destruction of all wicked things

The hypocracy of being an evil god punishing evil does not for a moment shake Asmodeus. Spirits cannot choose their nature, nor can animals, but mortals which live in the intersection choose to be evil every day, and worse yet, have the capability to choosing evil at any time. In spite of his divine status, and in many ways because of it, Asmodeus is actually incapable of perceiving good in mortals, believing that good intentions or earnest affection are yet more lies and hasty justifications that mortals buffer themselves with to excuse their faults and selfish action. None can then judge the atrocities he commits because none are without sin, even if to find that sin he needs to peel back layers of causality and unconscious feelings to find a thread of wrongdoing. 

To purge the universe of the blight of mortals Asmodeus cultivates power and fear: Power in the form of legions of devils and devoted servants who’s hateful hearts he feeds like a furnace, fear in the form of agents which sow division in mortal hearts and a myriad of private hells filled with infinite forms of torment.

Swear to serve Asmodeus, say his mouthpieces, and you will be spared the infinite torment when the boot on your neck breaks through to your spine, or when his hordes come to put your home to the torch.  Give up on the falsehoods of hope, love, and kindness,  visit punishment on others and you may be rewarded for your service

Behind the scenes: I’ve talked quite a lot about how d&d uses the idea of objective evil as a staple of its worldbuilding, and how in doing so it ends up falling face first into pro genocide rhetoric. In attempting to make badguys that the party is 1000% justified in killing on sight it ends up stumbling into some very fucked up thought experements.    Monsters in vanilla d&d arn’t just evil because they do bad things, but they do bad things because they are inherently evil:  They pillage, they enslave, they despoil, not because these things benefit them ( as it invariably gets them killed by adventurers) but because these acts serve as an outlet for their wicked natures.

If our heroes’ enemies are fundamentally evil, then any action which opposes them must be good, and any pillaging, enslaving, or despoiling the party does can be excused provided the targets belong to the designated ingroup. This is almost identical to the reasoning that was used by crusaders, conquistadors, slave owners, and fascists, and what is now being used by the evangelical to deny people rights and life-saving aid to this day.

What I wanted with Asmodeus was an entity that looked at the party like a group of murderhobos look at an orc: an ugly brutish thing that is only useful in so far as its suffering and death can benefit them.  Maybe it’ll be funny if they make it beg for its life. The party feel they’re justified in this because they know the orc is objectively evil ( because the books said so), just like Asmodeus is justified in plucking the souls from mortals and making them suffer for eternity because he knows, in his flawed omniscience, that they are deserving of it.

Signs: The sounds of tortured souls wailing from below, symbols of power glowing red hot, the manifestations of lesser devils.

Symbols: A five pointed star made of jagged metal, a black throne or crown atop numerous bodies.

[aho-dapa]

Tbh there's something about the way Ichigo, Kisuke, and Sōsuke are all reflecting off of each other in canon

Like this is sooooo influenced by my random uraichizen thoughts but

Like, considering Kisuke's Bodhisattva allegory with Guanyin/Kannon and his knowledge of the world, the idea that he preserves the status quo of the worlds by not actively doing anything in comparison to Sōsuke (from what we can see). He is a Bodhisattva in this sense. He's seen the truth, he teaches others the truth or hints at it because true Enlightenment can only be with the self. But.

Then there's the actual consequence of SS and what shinigami have to do to maintain the balance. Kisuke opposes Sōsuke and his views not because he believes it's right, but because he believes that the destruction of the worlds is not acceptable. It's a necessary evil.

Sōsuke has an ego with him wanting to become God, but there's also something almost tragic about his arc with reframing it from his perspective of Soul Society.

Soul Society is not a good place. Honestly horrible to live in. Especially when we find out that they sacrifice souls to hollows and vice versa in the name of balance.

Tbh, I ended up asking myself, from this viewpoint, is the Soul Society really worth protecting? Because it's goal is not about protecting people, but protecting the balance. Can the shinigami claim ignorance? Should they even be allowed to when they are complicit in destruction of lives? What would 'life' actually be considered in this universe? Do hollows deserve life as humans do? Except the SS ultimately sees both as a means to an end, hollows are just more of an obstacle.

Effwctively, shinigami are content sleeping on a bed of ground bones. I can see Sōsuke thinking this from a biased perspective.

But he's also not some savior either. He's arrogant and has a callousness to him that conflicts with this more sympathetic view of him.

His anger at Kisuke for knowing the truth of the world and not trying to change it seems genuine. There's an air of hypocrisy to his character I can't shake and it makes me wanna know more about why. Like the question of the greater evil vs the lesser evil.

Except Ichigo. He steps forward, finally knowing himself in full, to defeat Sōsuke, to defeat Yhwach, yet I can't help but feel like he's still so ignorant of the world he lives in. If he learned about their horrors, could he truly stand by in shadows waiting as Kisuke does, or would he become like another Sōsuke, for whatever reason. Or would he become a different path?

Sōsuke is also related to illusion and water, a reflection. We never see his bankai and I would even go so far as to think that he own powers don't work as they do in canon. There's still too many unknowns about him for me to be confident in them. But Ichigo’s own insights about Sōsuke's loneliness is just... it's so tempting to build off of that.

Because those feelings are likely a reflection of Ichigo from when he was a young age and his own confusing powers may have brought only more loneliness instead of understanding or connection.

I can't help but think that Kisuke represents Stagnation and Sōsuke represents Progess. Except poth come with an unsavory taste in the mouth. Kisuke waits, likely works towards a goal, bit it's far too slow for the people that have already suffered because of the world. Sōsuke steps forward, also hiding until he's sure of his strike, and he probably would have won if not for Ichigo. What is Ichigo then?

The only part of the Soul King that's named is his heart, which can bring about miracles, things unexplained due to emotions and desires. It acts similar to the Hōgyoku. Ichigo speculates that Sōsuke may have actually wanted to lose to him and that's... also a lot of implication about Sōsuke's character. There's also the idea that Sōsuke may have built Ichigo up. To what? Defeat him? Stand by his side? To make him less lonely? Or are these Ichigo’s unreliable feelings, are they simply Ichigo’s own reflected onto Sōsuke?

Both of Kisuke and Sōsuke's plans and views come with a price. And Ichigo remains ignorant, but he stills fights for everyone to not pay that price, even his enemies.

In a way, it's like Sōsuke decided to pay a huge price upfront to pay back later, Kisuke is frugal and making sure to balance everything while moving forward but that means people can't attain true wealth within their lifetime. Yhwach decided to destroy the concept itself despite that it means everyone will then have to pay that price.

Ichigo, is just, bursting through all of that. But he's also only one person. And idk, that feels important to how change must be made collectively when it's about a whole society. All Ichigo does is step forward, with other people, like the beginning of a wave.

Like, this is the end of the post but SŌSUKE AND KANAME??????? That alone needs a whole thesis and how it informs both of their characters since the only person Sōsuke actually trusts out of everyone is Kaname

[sketch--booked]

since sega have been pushing the betas of the goobers, I made a fun little au.

they're all villains from an alternate universe where little things are different.

Ezal(B) is a prototype god sealed away because, without its other half, it's volatile, and with its other half it's too powerful. A being of fire and darkness, it seeks its crystal counterpart, though it may be stuck in time.

Nails, a treasure hunter tied down by nothing and no one. gets by solely from trading, stealing and surviving. Hands-on, combative and wanted in 13 countries, she knows how to get in and out of a bad situation without anyone knowing she was even there.

Terios, the Ultimate Lifeform, was made to be a weapon of mass destruction but was never interested in the destiny given to him. Despite doing everything asked of him, the government determined him a failure and sealed him away. Dislikes people and seeks solitude but with the world in the hands of the people who would see him forgotten, can never be allowed to roam free.

Venice is the mastermind of the team he assembles. He wants the world to bend to him and will do anything to get his wish. This belief that he deserves the world comes from his many visions of the future in flames and he thinks those who caused it are the ones in charge so he will be the world's saviour. He's violent and sadistic but never seems to see that side of himself.

Feels is a young and speedy child. He calls himself the fastest thing alive and constantly proves it not just by running on his feet but by running his mouth and never shutting up. He doesn't particularly care about Venice himself but does respect his drive. However, he does like that Venice always seems to have an adventure ready for him.

On the surface, Venice is the leader of this team who works together to make him the planet's sole leader, but Ezal is using him and in turn, the others so that they can find their godly counterpart and bring Venice's visions to fruition.

I can't decide if i do or don't want them to end up in Sonic's universe, but I can see a lot of fun stuff with that.