#he’s the original wife guy even tho his wife is died while giving another man road head

[storybookprincess]

just about halfway thru american gods & i am obsessed with shadow moon like this man is SO babygirl coded

[helluva-hurricanes-blog]

I don’t really talk about my fnaf au much so I wanna talk about my canons in it that are vastly different from actual canon. This one is specifically about William (ofc, I don’t have an obsession with him). I think you’ll find it interesting because he’s a lot different from canon William, the cold and heartless bastard that he is.

William ISNT a bad dad. Everybody makes him out to be super abusive and it’s canon, but I like it better this way obvs. In my au, he made the fun times originally in the image of his family. Baby for Elizabeth, Ballora for his wife, Funtime Freddy for the crying child, and Funtime foxy for Michael. In my au, his wife, who I’ve named Isabelle, died from a sickness and he was very distraught about it, so that’s why he changed what they were about and started to murder- to try and find out how to bring people back to life. And then, well, his other 2 kids died so that’s why kids died... Anyway! Back to my point- he’s a good dad, just a super workaholic. He gets consumed in it and also has a hard time with empathy so it’s harder to relate to his kids, but he tries. In my au, he’s only a murderer to bring his family back (Michael still ended up hating him because why would William tell him what he’s doing?)

In canon, especially from the books, it looks like he’s super poor? In referencing Silver Eyes. Like why? He makes robots and had a company! He should be at least decently wealthy? Well, in my au he had a huge company, kinda like Apple or something. Just really profitable. He Invented robots, and makes several other things, like household appliances, cars, etc. it’s actually Henry who was poor and William helped him financially with his idea. (Also William handles most of the finances for fredbears and freddys but I think that’s actually canon? Idk)

William didn’t graduate Highschool. Yanno those famous people, who just weren’t cut out for school but still ended up famous? Yeah, I feel like William was kinda too smart for school and dropped out to become an entrepreneur. He seems like the guy to like high risk high reward plans.

William had a terrible family life, which is why he ended up the way he did. This is no means a “sob story to explain away everything he did” head canon, just a “this is why he is the way he is”. His father was terrible and didn’t love him, abused him emotionally and physically. That’s another reason he dropped out- to get away from THAT asshole, who in my story is named Abraham. Abraham Afton

Henry and William are both really good artists, just Henry’s more creative with crazy ideas and William is just good at it.

William had naturally curly hair, which in turn means Michael has naturally curly hair. So something people never really talk about is that the robots thought Michael was William, which made me think that they look almost exactly alike. Michael’s silhouette has curly or poofy hair, so Williams does. He just tries to straighten it out (yes this man straightens his hair) and Michael doesn’t give a fuck. It’s why I draw Williams hair wavy, because he can’t fight it. Also Michael had purple eyes in sister location, even tho ennard has blue, which makes me think his natural eye colour is purple, which means Williams eye colour must also be purple. I feel like the other 3 had green eyes.

William is kinda seriously a prissy boi. He straightens his hair, shaves his legs (and other parts) and has a kinda feminine demeanor. Feminine hands, very smol, sits either super feminine or man spreads like there’s no tomorrow.

William had a really good stage performance with Henry. Henry was good, but William took it to the next level. He actually used springbonnie the way it was meant to be used before he killed people, and he did it well.

So that’s all, I can’t really give anymore away about it without spoiling my lore. Speaking of which, I’m gonna make comics of my au. I actually wrote it in a story like form but it kinda sucks ass like really bad cuz it was from a while ago, but I still like my concepts and not my actual writing. It might take a super long time because I wrote like 5 books (yes, I was super dedicated) and 3 of them were like 30 chapters long. I didn’t finish the other 2. So if you like look forward to it I guess? I would love it if you asked questions because I really wanna share my au with you guys since I’ve been working on it since 2015, when like fnaf 2 or fnaf 3 came out 😳 it’s been a long ass time 😅

[saltyslack-toast]

#Knock The Book 2: The Devil All the Time

WELL, I MADE IT TO THE 2nd BOOK REVIEW OF MINE, MEANS THAT I’M A PASSIONATE AND PERSISTENT BITCH, PERIODT. No actually I’m just bored and got really nothing to do, so here I am making judgmental, invalid and uncritical book review just to ease my guilt for doing nothing at home (just so my mom see me working through my laptop).

Okay The Devil All the Time is actually my first English book. The story of how I got this book as a matter of fact is quite irritating and funny at the same time. My uni friend, she saw this book in a modest book bazaar near her hometown. She was reading the title and the word ‘devil’ just remind her of me, she bought it and just gave it straight to me…... I’m sad but like thankful???

It’s a secondhand and hardcover book but I don’t really mind, considering the fact that the quality is still very nice though, except the worn spots stained all over the cover that make the book looks very old. My friend bought this only for RP 25.000, yes dude you’re not misread this shit, it was THAT CHEAP (whoever sell and own this book before me, I really appreciate it). Although if you want to buy the new one, you can get this book for USD 26.95 which converted in rupiah would be RP 407.500, yeah its cost pretty fancy for broke students like us and I don’t know if the book’s supposed to be available in your local bookstore but I think you can find it in worldwide shipping online store like amazon or any other shop perhaps. The book’s cover illustrate a dying white mutt hanging on the ‘log’ and bunch of cross everywhere, the cover is actually make sense when you read the book. It published in 2011 by doubleday in United States of America. The Author is Donald Ray Pollock, and you can find the sum information about his background written on the cover, but based form the book’s cover you can also check his website in donaldraypollock.com but when I checked, I’m not sure if it’s really his website since it just like pest control website (LMAOO I HAD NO IDEA FR). Anyway,

Let’s go breaking down the book!

“… Too much religion could be as bad as too little, maybe even worse, but moderation was just not in her husband’s nature”

The whole story in this book, basically give you portraits regarding the life of lunatics in the time after WWII. Nope, there is no sums up about the events happened in that moment so chill y’all non-historical enthusiast bitches. This book gonna give you a bizarre experience reading it, the first 10 pages of this book was already psychedelic, I assure that shit. Have you watched Games of Thrones series on HBO? It’s chilling right how Ned Stark, the protagonist of the main series died in the first season???? EXACTLY that was the vibes u got after reading the first chapter and get crazier every time u read forward. By the way, this book embodied 7 chapters and 55 sub-chapters, the chapter in odd and even numbers has 2 different main focuses on each characteristic exist, here I sum it up for you:

On the odd numbers chapters (1, 3, and so on), the central story of these chapters is circling among the family of Willard Russel, his Mom Emma and Uncle Earskell and also those 2 insane peeps Roy Laferty and Theodore. Willard Russel used to be a navy army and a bit skeptical dealing with religion issues just like his uncle, but his mom has always been a devoted worshiper. Willard married to the beautiful and kind-hearted women named Charlotte and they was given a son named Arvin Eugene Russel, everything was normal until Charlotte got sick and Willard gone crazy praying to god for his wife’s recovery and poor little Arvin has to suffer the predicament by his own self. Their stories always give me religious-fanaticism-gloomy vibes (is that even make sense??). Don’t even get me started with the life stories of the two brutes-ass man, Roy Laferty and Theodore they were used to be ‘preacher’ in Emma and young Willard’s Church. Nothing I could say further because it’s gonna be a major spoiler for you, but their stories really giving you insights of how frustration and fanaticism allow people to do something beyond their common sense.

“You remember what I told you the other day?” He asked Arvin

“About the boys on the bus?,”

“Well, that’s what I meant, you just got to pick the right time”

On the even numbers chapters (2, 4, and so on), the main tales is pertaining on the journey of Handerson couple, Carl and Sandy. They were like the Bonnie and Clyde but sad and exploitative version in this book. Carl is a ‘photographer’ and sandy working as a waitress in a café called Wooden Spoon (Which the place where Charlotte used to work as a waitress and the place she met Willard for the first time as well). During summertime they got this ‘ritual’ ((but not in a religious way)) where they drive to different states and give a ride to the hitchhikers found on the way, then Carl forcefully offer them to fuck Sandy for free (HIS OWN WIFE) while he took pictures of them fucking and after that Carl kill them and take all the money those hitchhikers got in their pocket (dude I can’t even judge anything). But to be honest, I’m not a fan of these two characters because they were all so ANNOYING to death. And then there is Bodecker Lee who’s a police and also Sandy’s brother, ok that’s it, I’m not gonna give you any spoilers.

“… He went down the street and sat on a bench in a park the rest of the day thinking about killing himself instead. Something broke in him that day. For the first time he could see that his whole life added up to absolutely nothing…”

You might be confused since there are quite a lot of keen characters in this book but there’s a point where all these bitches are relating to each other, so chill y’all impatient gripe-ass. Overall, the flow of the story is undoubtedly interesting for you to keep going throughout the whole story, because every phase gonna make you wondering about next things happened to them. But, the transitions among every chapters is quite uncomfortable for me, because sometimes when the story has reached its climax there is no resolutions coming to solve the problem immediately, and you’re faced to read the new chapter with a whole different setting and characters so it’s kind of ruining the vibes and emotions the book has made me, but again this just my personal preference so please don’t judge (while everything I did right now is judging inaccurately).

“He realized that he would never preach again, but that was all right. He’d never been much good at it anyway. Most people just wanted to hear the cripple play”

However, what I like the most from this book is the deepening of every character exists is so fascinating, even for just the side or supporting character (for god sake I’m sorry idk what to called a character that isn’t the main one), for example a bus driver in Meade, Ohio which Willard talked to when he was on the way home after the war ended, the narration wrapped and portraits the driver’s life perfectly without make us bored, and there’s still a bunch of interesting narration about the life of the side characters in this book that also as odds and intriguing as the main character’s background (jesus, everything happened and everyone in this book is just so strange and peculiar I swear to god). The story finished in a most tragic-beautiful but still gloomy way, even though it’s quite predictable but still a very good closing for me personally. To be noted, on the way to the end of the story, there will be emerge another asshole priest character named Preston Teagardin, ready to shake you up until you finish the book. But still, let’s said this particular ‘last minute character’ has proving that the author is paying so much attention of how the story ended isn’t leaving any 'rush-made' impression (this shit might confused you I’m sorry my English hasn’t got any better *sorry hand sign* *sorry hand sign* *sorry hand sign*). # hashtag attention to the detail bro.

Holy crap, that’s the first time I’m almost able to cut all the bullshit I intend to bring it up here.

This book is one of my top 5 books that you have to read once in a life time (although I haven’t discover the other four, omg im sorry y’all). Little information for you that the first time I read this book (yeah I read it for quite few times) is when the campaign of presidential election era, which in Indonesia the religious are pretty sentimental issues, some of the people in my country suddenly became those annoying fanatical preachers, man I can’t stand it. And this book is just precisely relating to that condition and I get to know at least a glance of what the heck odds things happened in their minds, since you know fanaticism and stupidity doesn’t hit only on particular group of religions, race, gender or anything, we can all be stupid and brainless (especially me because I basically have no brain). There probably quite many scenes that is pretty disturbing to read (I don’t know if people could be triggered by it???? But I guess so) so yeah a bit warning. Overall, I genuinely recommend this book for you guys because every element in this book is almost perfect, the storylines, bold characters, and the RARE AND STRANGE AND SENSITIVE topic promote by the author in this novel is totally a BOOM. Don’t worry reading this book not going to give you those agnostic and atheist vibes HAHA chill I still consider myself a devoted Muslim tho (hashtag masyaallah ukthi).

By the way before I wrapped it up, I hear that this book will be made into a netflix film. WELL, of course I’m excited because the casts are so amazing, and I love Netflix adaptation and I enjoy watch movies as much as I read books (again, unnecessary information of mine *sorry hand sign*). I found that the release date is postponed from the origin plan in 15th May (which is three days ago from I posted this on my page) due to I don’t know perhaps corona because that bitch has ruined everyone in the world’s schedule, but for real I can’t find the exact information regarding to the updated release date, so while you wait the film to launch, why don’t you just go read the book first? I assure you this one not gonna give you any disappointment.

I think that would be it for this 2nd rubbish book review of mine. Although, I think I made a little progressive from the first one (OR MAYBE NOT???? I’M SORRY Y’ALL) but of course there’s still much deficiency I served. Still, I hope my writing get better in the process of making this whole novel of reviewing book inaccurately. To be honest, I wrote this shit not for getting any engagements or audience but for my own satisfied HAHA. So yeah I’m literally comfortable writing for nothing. But bitch guess what I’m just gonna keep going, until I could professionally writing and make it for a living? Well, amen for that.

Xiao, See you in Advance!

[tumblunni]

Okay seriously but dr maddiman's story is SO SAD

His wife literally left him on april fools day!!! And he sat there waiting at the door and crying until midnight just in case it was a joke and she came back

AND THEN HE DIED

And we dont even know WHEN he died! His journals just slowly peter off into nothing after the depressing divorce day. Just "i need to work i need to work" and talking about how he doesnt take care of himself now he has nobody to live for and how he doesnt even remember why he's working anynore but he's scared if he stops working he'll remember that his family left him. And he doesnt know how to cook and he just makes shitty gruel out of whatever was left in the fridge after his wife left and he doesnt ever buy any more groceries and uhh.. Well.. At some point he died. He basically committed suicide by sheer denial. The goddamn diary about being unable to cook trails off into just repeating "tasty gruel" over and over in increasingly gnarled handwriting. And in japanese the word for gruel was a pun on another rather infamous depressing scienceman's last journal in resident evil. So while the dub wrote it out in full sentences instead the original was kinda like... Incoherant rambling of a guy who died mid sentence. Thats what the reference would immediately communicate to anyobe who'd played RE...

And man its just SO SAD cos even before he basically killed himself with unhealthy coping mechanisms, he ruined his own life with the same problem. He became distant from his wife and child because he loved them so much but he didnt know how to communicate it and he just ran away from all of his problems. He buried himself in his work to avoid facing the fact he was having relationship issues with his wife, which obviously just made it worse. And his whole work in the first place was from a stupid idea that he could "keep everyone i love safe if i take over the world". Like the idea of actually telling them he loved them and talking about his worries was SO IMPOSSIBLE that he jumped to an even more impossible solution as something easier! And then its so depressing cos oh man these diaries are like a constant stream of jokes about how this man is destroying himself from overwork and like seriously it was so bad that they had to censor a few of them in the dub. For example one about how he hadnt changed out of his lab coat in over two weeks so his wife mistook his laundry for nuclear waste and tried to friggin dispose of his boxers with a long stick and a flamethrower! Which the dub somehow thought was too gross even tho half of all yokai are just gross jokes lol. BUT SERIOUSLY They try and write it all comical at first but all this comical stuff causes realistic consequences of a rift between him and his family AND ALSO his health failing with every damn page you turn like holy fuckin shit. You cant blame his wife for leaving him, she didnt know he really did love her and was just running away from talking about his problems. God she must have suffered so much trying to raise the kid alone and not knowing WHY he seemed to leave her entirely and hate her more and more each day. And its implied that maddiman's research started getting all fanatical and supernatural even before he became a monster, and he wasnt even seeing regular patients at the hospital and like.. Doing his job... Receiving money of any sort. So man at some point yeah the poor lady would have to make the right choice to leave for the sake of their kid. It sounds like she tried so damn hard to get him to open up and just goddamn come home!!!

AND THE WORST PART IS THAT IT WORKED

Yknow not just in the literal sense where his shambling undead self is STILL SICK FROM HOW HE DIED and LITERALLY WEARS HIS HEART ON HIS SLEEVE NOW

Oh god i just realized that maybe his inspiriting power is "heart swap" not because literally he's an evil scientist who wants to cut you up, but because HE WISHES HE COULD HAVE SHOWN HIS HEART TO HIS FAMILY WHEN HE HAD THE CHANCE!!!!!#!!!

and okay seriously THAT PART, THAT WORST OF WORST PARTS

Is that he did!!! He did try!! He did make the right choice!! He just kept running away for so long that when he decided to step up and be a good husband and father it was already too late. :(

He did decide to abandon his fanatical nonsense and just go home and show them he loves them. He closed up work early and bought a bunch of gifts for his family and came home hoping to surprise them and... Was surprised. At an empty house. And a note saying she'd already gone. On fuckin APRIL FOOLS DAY OF ALL DAMN DAYS so he SAT THERE SURROUNDED BY THE PRESENTS CRYING FOR HOURS HOPING IT WAS JUST A JOKE

And he just fell back even harder into his self harming conflict avoidance behaviours. He didnt try and call her and apologise, he didnt even go home ever again. He probably left the same bag of presents there on the table gathering dust even when he was dead. He just went back to work and kept working so hard that he didnt notice when he fell asleep and never woke up.

And thats why in the first game he seemed so much more evil but he was confirmed redeemable in future games and got all this heart destroying heartwarming bullshit beautiful goddamn writing AND ALSO THREE BABY TURTLES TO HUG. He just fuckin ran away from his problems so hard that he forgot he was ever human!! And he was stuck so much in this 'i must complete my ultimate science at any cost' mindset that he forgot why it was even important. And he was willing to make any damn sacrifices for something he didnt know was already useless cos HIS WIFE AND KID ARE PROBABLY DEAD NOW ANYWAY *sob*

Oh and then yokai watch 3 confirmed that yes at least his kid is indeed dead anyway. You can catch his yokai form too and HE BECAME A DOCTOR JUST LIKE HIS GODDAMN DAD!!!! They made up fpr not ever letting us have a playable maddiman by giving us a new yokai scienceman and HEY WHY NOT HAVE THE SADDEST POSSIBLE EXPLANATION FOR THAT!!!! And in the quest that finaly confirms their connection HA HA WHAT WOULD BE THE WORST POSSIBLE TEASE WE COULD GIVE THE PLAYERS? Hey looks like Cliff inherited his dad's neuroses so instead of going to meet him he runs away from his problems. And thats just the end. The closest they get to reuniting is dr son guy leaving his dad a can of his favourite soda before he runs away. This was in the last set of dlc for the game and will probably never get a better conclusion unless the two of them return in a future game but the original anime series has ended now and the next game looks like its gonna be this alternate universe thing instead. Sigh!

FUCKIN HELL LEVEL-5 WHY DO YOU TORMENT ME WITH THIS GREAT PLOTLINE OF UTMOST SADS

Why is "sad science dad" always my fave character in everything ever and why is dr maddiman such the best

Im cry my heart out. Quite literally. LIKE POOR GODDAMN DR MADDIMANNNNNN

[ofmancini-blog]

hi hello everyone !! i’m cait the gr8, the baddest mf this town has ever seen … Anyways, hi i’m caitlin and i’m super pumped to be here !! i love gang rps and i love our sweet dear admin a Whole Bunch so i mean obviously i had to join?? i’m in the est timezone and i go by she / her pronouns !! i’m really not that interesting so let’s get on to My Boy !!

╯dj cotrona, he/him.╭ ─ get off the street, it’s ( wesley mancini ) ! i heard they’re a ( thirty five ) year old ( assassin ) in the 212. don’t let that smile fool you, i heard they’re most known to be ( aloof ); sometimes they can be ( zealous ) but i hardly doubt it. they seem like they’d be the ( cataclysmic. ).

lil bit of backstory and how he got to where he is:

so as far as his backstory goes: wes was born in brooklyn, new york to an asshole alcoholic father who abused his wife and children who wes has always feared he will Become ( which in some ways, he has, )!! his mother ended up in a coma after his parents got into a fight and she “fell” down the stairs when wes was seventeen. she was on life support for about a year before they had to pull the plug due to expenses and his father’s own mentality about how ���her brain is gone and so is she”. anyway, after that it was just wes, his father, and his younger brother. the whole thing forced wes to drop out of high school and help support what was left of his family.

about two years later, when wes was nineteen, there was a terrible fire. his dad was sitting on the couch with a lit cigarette and ended up falling asleep. the cigarette slipped out of his hand and started a fire. wes was awoken by screaming and as he shared a room with his brother, was able to save him but purposely left his father to burn in his own destruction. their small house burned to the ground, forcing the boys to start anew. though it wasn’t much, wes used the inheritance from his father’s death to buy a shitty apartment in a rundown neighborhood in the bronx. he was able to keep family services off his back, having to move into different apartments under different names to avoid them, succeeding for a few years until his brother was eighteen. he let his brother stay with him as long as he needed but once he ended up joining the gang, he encouraged his brother to do something else with his life, forcing him to leave to better himself.

he never attended college and barely graduated high school. he was a frequent visitor at homeless shelters, getting kicked out of numerous apartments and eventually running out of money. with all the crime in the city and needing a quick way to make a buck, wes started to sell drugs as well as become a conman. fast forward years later, someone he ended up conning found him again and tried to blackmail wes into giving him his money back. wes, not stable with money and not willing to let the asshole win, got a bit reckless and ended up killing the guy. it was an accident, he only meant to scare the guy, but they ended up getting into a fight and one thing led to another.

a couple years after that he was recruited into the 212. his brother ended up befriending adrian and with everything going on, adrian found out about wes’ habits. he extended an invitation and wes accepted. he was one of the original members but prefers to keep to himself, preferring people know nothing about him. the person that knows the most about him is adrian but only because he’s never wanted to seem as if he’s unloyal to the group and has always been honest with the guy. admittedly, he does sometimes have doubts about adrian leading the group but would never voice these thoughts or dare to act on them. in the end, wes is 100% loyal to himself but would never betray or do anything to jeopardize his gang.

about my boy:

his last name rhymes w martini so enjoy the irony that he is an alcoholic

his first kill was Technically his father but his first like … murder was the man he conned who ended up finding him again?? he struggled for a long time about the Feeling of having someone’s blood on his hands and he’s never liked killing but it’s what he’s good at and there’s nothing else he knows how to do!! he’s 100% in survival mode at all times

as far as targets go in the gang, he requires not knowing any information about them except for a name and a face. the more he’s in the dark about a target the more capable he is of completing his task. besides it not like he ... really cares to know any more about them

he’s a huge asshole?? not so much to the members in the gang ( the longer you’ve been in the gang the nicer he is but he’s a dickhead to the rookies ) but he has a Huge Temper and if u start to push his buttons he’ll retaliate

feelings are a No Go he’s all about sex and drugs and alcohol!! he’s slept with quite a few ppl in the gang ( potential plot for a couple of you ) but there’s one person that’s gotten under his skin the past few years, even if he’s avoiding them at all costs at this point. he doesn’t know what love feels like or if it’s even real and he doesn’t want to put himself in that position of being vulnerable !!

he’s really stealthy which is good because he’s good at infiltrating a place, neutralizing his target, and getting the hell out without a sound. his talent is guns, which is his Shit like he thinks he’s the mf Best ( he… p much is it’s all he’s ever rlly known ) and while he’s good at hand to hand combat, shooting a target is much easier and faster than strangling them. he also has a Hidden Talent for locks and like ... if given enough time he can unlock a safe with his ear?? like putting it up against a door, slowly turning the lock and listening with a stethoscope !!

when adrian was gone for a couple months wes got a lil … sloppy?? he got drunk while on a job and when he killed his target he made a Lot of noise so there are a few people in new york who are kind of looking for him but they can’t call the cops bc they’re drug dealers :~)

anyway, wes is a Mess, he doesn’t know wtf love is ( he’s convinced it’s fake af ), he’s an atheist, he has a beagle named duke ( duke was a birthday gift from his brother who was Convinced wes needed some company ) and can’t be found without a flask ( and a weapon ) hidden somewhere on his body.

his brother is a Huge wanted connection w a zane holtz fc 

has a huge flame arm tattoo bc of the fire that p much Saved Him

secretly like 5% soft and he truly does care about the well-being of his gang even tho sometimes it seems like he doesn’t give a shit

some wanted connections:

fuck buddies ( currently corvina, etc. ): ppl wes goes to when he’s high / drunk / in need of touching and they fuck and he leaves around 2 in the morning ( can be considered as hypersexual & he’s also bisexual, doesn’t really give a fuck bc God ppl are Hot but he doesn’t think about himself as bisexual bc he just likes ppl why tf u need to name it as something )

neighbors: wes lives in an apartment building like two blocks from lou’s?? he lives on the third floor and has a dog named duke that can tend to bark sometimes but if u come to his door and complain about his dog he will fucking shoot u

childhood friends / enemies / etc: someone from his younger years. he’s lived in new york all his life so there’s a good chance he went to high school with someone in the gang. he was kind of notorious in school for being an asshole who got detention p much everyday?? or it can just be someone he’s known for a long time / before the gang?? would prob know about the house fire his dad died in bc it was a huge news story at the time

drinking partners: ok wes would rather drink alone but he doesn’t mind company as long as they can sit there and drink in silence?? also bonus points if you bring the alcohol

someone who was close to one of his targets: i could see this being a rookie more than anyone because of their new status to the gang?? but just someone who knew one of wes’ targets and maybe they’re still upset or they’re angry??

someone that drags wes out of his apartment: ok this man lit sits in his apartment w a beer in his hand all damn day and night if he aint workin so someone needs to be close enough with him to where they can b like “yo, let’s go to lou’s, i’ll buy you a drink” and he’ll be like haha okay ( he is easily bribed )

ride or die: this boy needs a bff and someone who he Won’t fuck

THERE U GO !! THAT’S MY BOY !! that was a Lot but i love him and we should plot so Like This !!

[empty-dream]

Me watching Fate/Apocrypha ep 13

With that piano intro, it feels like there is a narration saying “Once upon a time, in an ancient babylonian flying fortress”

If there is any book with that intro I’d read the shit out of it

Sieg be like “I’ve seen too many shit I should apply to become the new wonder of the world”

Sieg: “I’m sorry I was reckless” Astolfo: “bOI THAT WAS NOT RECKLESS THAT WAS STUPID AS FUCK AND THAT’S ME SAYING” Sieg: “But I have a wish I wanna save my friends in the middle of war” Astolfo: “oKAY COOL ME PROUD”

Shit the loony witch shows up

I made an entire post consisting of me contemplating the new op and ed bc it’s long and full of thought HAHA jk it’s shit

Hi kids welcome to the church in the fortress 2 weeks ago the cinnamon and the sinnamon met each other

Shirou: “We’re catholics, we should understand each other.” Jeanne: “Dude, just because I have the same religion as you, as 1.1 billion other people do btw, doesn’t mean I agree to everything you do, especially if it involves stealing most magical thing ever and smiling sinisterly.”

Wow Shirou raises his voice that’s 5* rarity

Shirou: “I didn’t have my master die in my arms, wait 60 years, and manage this dangerous team of nukes all by myself for being defied by a 16 yo rapunzel hourglass saberface”

Jeanne: “Goddamnit you’re a HEROic spirit be a HERO for once!” Shirou: “Nah, I’m outta the club I can do whatever I want.”

Semiramis: “Are you saying my master breaks the rule?” Jeanne: “Are you teasing me with that question or are you just deaf and stupid?”

Semiramis be like “What? You think me, a beautiful poisoner queen who murdered my husband slyly and got into his throne, as the one capable of corrupting an innocent-looking yu-gi-oh-haired young man like my master? I’m offended.”

Guys you’re late to Vlad’s funeral

Shirou: “It’s all peaceful, no fighting whatsoever with your masters.” The AKA team: “BULLSHIT.” Shirou: “But hey it was really no fighting!”

Get you a wife like Semiramis- No wait, don’t make her your wife just make her fall hard for you she wishes she was your wife

Karna’s level-headedness is truly something, I must say

Shirou: “Thank you very much” Karna: “Not now, bitch”

I still find it funny that Karna seems like the first one in AKA team to be fine with Shirou as his master but in the end he’s the only one who never accepts Shirou. My boy.

Shirou: “All of you, become my bitches now.”

Celenike have you learned nothing from Gordes’s experience?!

Wow scratching head until it bleeds is actually one of things I consider creepy and disturbing

But why does it sound like she’s breaking her skull instead of scratching and if she indeeds breaks her skull why is she alive?

You don’t wanna dirty your hands killing Sieg? Bitch you hold human entrails with the same hands might as well cut your hands right now

Astolfo: “There’s no point in me killing Sieg!” Celenike: “There is! I’m horny now!”

Too late, her brain moves to between her legs now.

Sieg’s fate is to be stomped by masters of Yggdmillenia

Grossest slasher movie idea: Celenike is jealous towards Sieg because Astolfo emotes so much around him instead of when she tortures Astolfo so she decides to stomp Sieg and force Astolfo to kill him while she gets hot watching it.

Wow that’s a very ugly face of dying. I’d make the same face as Sieg too.

I CAN HEAR THE CHEER OF PEOPLE FOR MORDRED AT THIS VERY MOMENT

It’s like Kairi and Mordred just drive around and happen to see the nasty quarrel and be like “well that’s one cockroach to kill” so they stop to behead Celenike and then goes off again.

I think servant disappearing into light is engineered to be as slow as it can to give them time to speak dramatic last words huh?

Astolfo: “I don’t wanna drag you into this war.” Sieg: “I already dove head-first to save my friends so technically I’m already in this war too”

HAHA WORLD RECORD OF SERVANT TRYING TO KILL THE MASTER Sieg you’re beginning to become a funny man

I don’t know if Achilles clicks his tongue because Chiron rejects Shirou’s offer to join red faction or Semiramis belittles Chiron but either way he really cares for his teacher :’))

Semiramis: “How about you remember you’re in my home?” Chiron: “How about you remember I can bomb your home?”

Remember 2 weeks ago when I said there are only two sane men on board? That’s excluding the attacked-by-headache red servants, but now you get why I say that.

Shirou: “Jeanne I don’t really wanna kill you actually” Jeanne: “Asshat your face looks like you really wanna kill me slowly”

Wow I don’t expect them to actually detail Karna’s gesture

Mordred, making the most grandiose entrance ever.

I was thinking, why would Mordred charge into an enemy fortress without her armor, like maybe she would but her master would not. So I just conclude maybe A-1 can’t afford to animate her armors ._.

Semiramis: “You wanna betray us?” Mordred: “You tried to betray us first!” Semiramis: “I will behead you, traitor!” Mordred: “First, it’s you  it’s you who is the traitor here. Second I beheaded someone on the way and I’m not shy to do it again!!”

Mordred vs Semiramis is kinda like a battle between parent and child with lots of foul languages

Seriously Mordred is the hero of this episode and her trashtalking doesn’t disappoint at all

Like I said, I’m surprised Karna’s gesture is detailed because it’s clear he realizes first hand than Mordred is coming and actually wants her to clear the mess and help Jeanne and Chiron escape and he doesn’t do anything to stop them and he smiles in satisfaction when it’s all done. Like, my boy. My dear boy.

Semiramis: “You think you can do something? Everything you can do, I can do it too!” Avicebron: “Well I do battles too, unlike your shit caster” Shirou: “He’s got a point, hon.”

A saberface stood in the middle of dead people on a war. Great, wanna bet Fate/Extra will have umu do the same thing too?

The wish of salvation is never wrong. The method you try to achieve it, however, often falls into the nope scale.

Wow I also didn’t expect they would include the crushed homunculus in this scene too.

When even Fiore tells you to shut up then you need to evaluate your life

I wanna laugh because Sieg is nonchalantly running into the room like he’s late for class but can’t give a shit to the professor in front of him

Ah I see, A-1 make a huge change in this scene.

Gordes: “Y-YOU!” Sieg: “Surprises bitch I bet you thought you had seen the last of me”

People die when they are killed is so last year, Gordes.

Sieg: “Guess who just became a new master?” Black faction: “No way!” Sieg: “That’s right! It’s me!”

Caules close up is always welcome, babe.

Astolfo is also nonchalantly late into the class and only bothered about how to pose.

Leader!Homunculus: “You keep surprising us” Sieg: “I died twice already and the surprise will just keep on coming, mate.”

Nice speech Sieg!! Cementing the fact that he is the anti-thesis of Shirou and that he is the main protagonist, in case anybody forgets.

Also it kickstarts Fiore’s existential crisis but hey that’s for another episodes okay.

Caules did you just tell Gordes to count to ten??? You. You are fucking perfect my darling.

Chiron: “Master, Caster betrays us. And he’s going to get Roche.” Fiore: “Wait that’s too many news for 2 minutes.”

I guess no matter how much of a genius you are, if you’re young and a shut-in you will always remain naive.

Originally in the novel, if I am correct, this scene is where Gordes shitting around and treats Sieg as Siegfried. Astolfo full-on roasts Gordes and pours salt on his wounds, and also makes jabs about the stolen grail. Fiore is suspicious that Astolfo might be the one killing Celenike, which is actually normal thing to do, but he might or might not even notice that. Caules honestly agrees that the homunculi’s lifespan won’t allow them to do everything they want, which is cold, but in line with the fact that he’s, at his core, blunt. I guess A-1 decides to change it so that Sieg has time to deliver the speech?

Well it’s a shame Astolfo roasting is skipped tho. But I think I like the speech. If that’s how they try to make Sieg likable (I heard he’s not very likable back before this adaptation?), I think it works with me.

NEXT: Servanger 2.0

[panicked-sapphic]

DANIS DETAILED FAMILY PROFILES BECAUSE I AM ONE BORED MF:

Evita Valentina González De Niro

45

FACECLAIM: Justina Machado from One Day At A Time, only with tanner skin(bc they’re an outdoorsy family and the entire clan is super tan) and some freckles.

FROM: Was born in Puerto Rico, moved to Mexico City as a toddler. Currently resides just outside of Phoenix, Arizona.

JOB(S): I think i said something about her mom owning a restaurant but I’m changing it. Evita is currently a doctor practicing emergency medicine(she she basically works in the emergency room aye). She worked her ass off to get through medical school in America so!!! I love Mama De Niro. Goes by Dr. González tho.

PERSONALITY: She’s really warm and gentle. But she’s tough as hell. She worked three jobs to put herself through medical school, and because shes a woman and an immigrant, nobody took her seriously so she worked even harder to be the top of her class. She’s really compassionate and very fierce about things being right and fair. She also has very strong morals. She’s incredibly honest and isn’t a fan of lying and therefore she sucks at it(like mother like daughter). She’s always had school be a #1 priority which she drilled into Dani since she was a little girl. When she gets an idea into her head she doesn’t drop it, which can be negative LMAO. Very proud of her culture and heritage and raised Dani with the same idea. Takes certain traditions very seriously(Day of the Dead, etc)

FAMILY: Camila González(Mother - 76 - alive), Miguel González (father - 66 - deceased), Matias González(brother - 47 - alive), Santiago(39 - brother - alive), Isabella&Martina(sisters - 37 - alive), Katalina(youngest sister - 16 - deceased, Danica is lowkey named after her, as her middle name is Katelynn)

SOME INFO ABOUT HER BACKGROUND: When her father died, Evitas mother, Camila, moved to the US to live with her oldest daughter, her husband, and grandchild, who was 6 at the time. She’s always been close to her mother and is glad that it carried down to Dani. They strongly live by the ‘Family is Everything’ rule, and she is in regular contact with her brothers and sisters who live in Mexico City, and usually visits during holidays, or they come and visit her. She’s been married to her husband, Gabriele, for 19 years. They waited until she became an attending to get married and have children. Evita worked herself to the bone making sure she could do her job and spend time with Danica, because she didn’t want to be an absent mother. All in all, Evita is one hell of a badass and I love her with my entire soul. After having Dani(her birth was rlly traumatic and difficult), she found out she couldn’t have any more kids.

Some short profiles for her brothers and sisters aye

Matias Gonzalez - 47, alive, married to Ramonda, father to Benedictio, Rosalyn, and Camila(20, 18, and 14). He owns a restaurant, and lives in Tepoztlan, which is like an hour or so away from Mexico City. His wife is a stay at home mom but also kind of makes cakes on the side?? For parties and stuff, shes pretty good.

Santiago Gonzalez - 39, alive. Travels the world as a famous photographer. Has a few places in various cities all over(he’s pretty wealthy). Kind of like the cool rich uncles who give you cool gifts and spills ALL the family drama when you’re old enough. Pretty rad. Super gay honestly.

Isabella Garcia - 37, alive, married to Elian Garcia, mother to Aloise and Alford(both 11) and Valentina(6) and Luz(3). She plans weddings(is known for her work too) and her husband is a professor. Lives in her childhood home, which is where the family gathers for holidays.

Martina Aguado - 37, married to Felipe Aguado, mother to Sophia(15), Dario(8), and Diego(2). She’s a teacher, and her husband is a lawyer. She lives not far from her identical twin sister.

Katalina Gonzalez - 16 - deceased. Katalina died in a car accident while out with friends. She was the youngest of the family, and her loss changed everyone. She was closest with Evita, which was why Danis middle name is Katelynn. It’s a nod to her little sister, who is a lot like Dani, and like Dani, wanted to be a journalist.

AND NOW FOR GABRIELE I’M READY FOR MY TEDDY BEAR ITALIAN MAN LMAO

Gabriele ‘Gabe’ Lorenzo De Niro

47

FACECLAIM: Stefano Accorsi bc he was the closest thing I saw in my head for Dani’s dad, and this guy has blue eyes instead of brown, which is where dani gets her blue eyes.

PERSONALITY: Kind of comes off as super tough and intense but he’s literally a  big softy who cried when Dani left for college. Loves his wife so much omg,, like its disgustingly cute how in love they are. He’s so proud of his strong wife honestly HAHA,, tries a little too hard to be a cool dad. Real dweeb. He’s really honest like his wife, and like Evita, strongly lives by the rules of ‘School First’ and ‘Family is Everything’, mostly because he grew up in a pretty broken home(his father was an abusive alcoholic) and he never had that family structure until he was older.

JOB(S): He’s going to be a PEDS doctor? I’d like for Evita and Gabriele to have met in med school or something and were friends/dating for years before getting married when she graduated(he was a year or so ahead of her schooling wise). Helps out his brothers restaurant on the side when he has the time/they need help.

PERSONALITY: While he was born and lived in Italy until he was 14, he doesn’t have strong ties to the language or culture, so he mainly kind of adopted the one his wife introduced him to, as it was important to her that Dani grew up surrounded by the same culture she was raised in. Still knows Italian, but doesn’t speak it very often anymore? He’s really caring. Kind of adopts every kid he meets kind of thing. He’s really good with people and kids, which is a big reason why he went into PEDS. I love this man with my entire heart, he’s so wholesome and pure. Goes by his mothers maiden name bc he hates his dad.

FAMILY: Enric Betto (father - 74 - alive?), Giulia De Niro(67- mother - alive, i originally was going to have her deceased but i love her sm, my strong grandmom deserves MORE than that), Enzio De Niro(40 - brother- alive), Fabian De Niro(37 - brother- alive)

BACKGROUND INFO: Was born and raised in Naples, Italy. He grew up fairly poor, with his father draining the money with his drinking and gambling habit. He was abusive, and after nearly killing his youngest brother, his mom left him, and a year later, at 14, his mom moved him and his brothers to Arizona to live with some family friends. They stayed there, and he worked hard in school to get a scholarship for medical school. I’m thinking him and his wife both attended Colombia or Johns Hopkins or something?? Both on scholarship. Another ‘school comes first’ enforcer haha!!

Those family profiles bc i love my homies!!

Giulia De Niro - 67 - lives just a few miles away from her son and daughter in law and granddaughter, is a frequent visitor. Like, every day lmao. I’m thinking she works at a bakery/co-owns one with the same family friends that took them in when they moved to America? Always making something yummy, anyways.

Enric Betto - 74 - alive, lives in Italy ALTHOUGH if I want some side drama for Dani i’ll have him come in later to fuck things UP. He’s a dick honestly lmao

Enzio De Niro - brother, 40, alive - married to Kelly Prescott. Father to Amelia(13), Brandon(9), and Olivia(6). He’s an electrician, and his wife works as a 911 operator

Fabian De Niro - brother, 37, alive - engaged to Brady Pullman. They have 3 dogs, all pitbull mixes(Buttons, Charlie, and Dobby). Fabian is a contractor(he builds and designs houses and buildings?? I think thats what its called lmao) and Brady owns a cafe in Phoenix!! They eventually marry and adopt some kids

Yeah i put WAY too much thought and effort into this LMAO i’m,, so lame,,,

[boleynns]

LOOSE ENDS, ASSHOLES.

I wrote this 3 days ago, because I just KNEW they were going to fuck it all up.

^PHOTO OF A LIAR, for reference. LONG list of pissed off thoughts below.

ON YOUR WATCH.

That Molly scene in TFP was so horrendous. I don’t even ship them at all, but really. How much of an asshole do you have to be???

How did John and Sherlock survive a bomb by jumping through glass windows and landing 2 stories down on the concrete with no injuries?

How did they get on that boat?

WHY were they on that boat?

WTF was that imaginary plane bullshit???

NO ONE CARES THAT THE DOG ISNT REAL, ARE YOU KIDDING ME

Why did Mary think John would pull away from Sherlock if she died, if she didn’t know she was going to die saving Sherlock? If she’d died ANY other way, John would have no reason to pull away.

Why did Mary give Sherlock the 10000% worst advice in the world (seriously, who tf tells their “friend”, who is a DRUG ADDICT, “GO FUCK YOURSELF on drugs, and GO DIE on purpose” on the random ass off chance that John would find this out in time???)?

Why did Mary have a slip of paper to knock Sherlock out prepared ahead of time?

Why did Mary tell Sherlock and John that “A.G.R.A.” was her initials, when if they had just looked at the fucking drive they would see her real name?

Why was she SOOOOO worried that Sherlock and John would look at the drive, if all that was on there were A.G.R.A.’s identities???

Why did Mary shoot Sherlock directly in the chest point blank, which did kill him enough that the doctors GAVE UP, if she wasn’t trying to fucking kill him dead forever?

Why would Mary not recognize Vivian (or at least, her voice) if A.G.R.A. worked with her?

If Mycroft dealt with freelancers, why did he not know Mary wasn’t fucking MARY???

Why would Mary name her daughter after an alias that could get said daughter KILLED??? AND WE FUCKING KNOW THAT NAME WAS DANGEROUS, BECAUSE MARY LEFT IT BEHIND TO BECOME “MARY MORSTAN” YOU IDIOTS

What did John’s letter to Sherlock say? If is wasn’t going to be addressed, why the fuck would you put it in the episode??

Why did Molly deliver such a hard “John would rather have anyone but you. Anyone” message if it had NO POINT.

Where did the baby go when everyone the baby knew was at John’s “Therapist’s” office at the beginning of TLD? And don’t give me that “it was with friendS” crap, literally only Sherlock, Molly, and Mrs. Hudson went to that kid’s babyshower for fuck sake, John has no other friends.

If you can’t handle the placement of a baby for ONE EPISODE, don’t write one into your show FOR LITERALLY NO REASON.

What was Sherlock’s reoccurring dream that he was telling Ella? Why put that in if it wasn’t important?

If Mary isn’t bad, and therefore wasn’t working with “Faith” and Culverton to set Sherlock up to die (which would have been a perfect and interesting conspiracy), HOW did “Faith” and Culverton know Sherlock would be drugged up enough to fall into their trap??

WTF was the POINT of Eurus texting with John IF SHE WASNT WORKING WITH MARY to mess with Him and Sherlock? Literally ZERO point to the “plot”.

Also, we see that John and Eurus see eachother for a 2nd time at the bus stop. I thought it was important, even though y’all acted like all they did was text, BUT NOPE just another loose end.

TD-12 was absolutely useless, and you spent SO MUCH time on it. 

why did mary keep repeating villain lines (“Miss me?” multiple times, “Anyone!” multiple times in her video, literally fuck off)

If mary had time to jump 5 feet to take a bullet after its already been shot than sherlock had time to jump out of the way you idiots

also the irony of your holier-than-thou deduction sequence when Sherlock got shot, about how big spurts of dramatic blood only happens in movies? You literally fucked yourself.

zero point to Sherlock and John’s extended “ROMANTIC LOVE WILL COMPLETE YOUUUUU” scene on every level, went no where

speaking of that scene, how did Sherlock hear “Mary” say that he should wear the hat???? HUH>?

Mrs. Hudson WATCHED Mary’’s DVD with sherlock, why was she all “OH, wonder what this is, what could it be, WOW LOOK JOHN its your wife???” later with John and Mycroft WHEN SHE KNEW SHERLOCK WAS PROBABLY DYING

Also why would she just let John watch that cold, knowing Mary’s face would show up??

Why did you make Irene a lesbian if you were going to keep making her ride Sherlock’s dick via text message AGAIN.

I’m sure she would want to tell you this if she was here, so I’ll relay the message: LITERALLY GO FUCK YOURSELVES, YOU “SHERLOCK CAN TURN A LESBIAN WOMAN STRAIGHT, HES JUST THAT AMAZING, NO HOMO!!!” ASSHOLES

why was John still crying about his no homo bro being dead after two years, no offense to my best friend but I will think of you really fondly but probably not be going to therapy forever and being all “I literally am so heartbroken that i cant even say the things that i wanted to say to him when he was alive”

speaking of that thing that he couldn’t say out loud to Ella the Therapist: i guess he just really wanted to tell sherlock “No homo tho”, just to make sure he knew that before he died

speaking of things unsaid - I guess the serious thing that sherlock was going to say to john on the tarmac, that he chose not to say for absolutely no decernable reason, was “Bro, I’m gonna miss you, bro! We had some good bro times bro, NO HOMO!!1!” and then they do that back-slap hug that guys do so things don't get too homo

no offense to the prop department, but that light-up skull, that would be either lit or not lit or COMPLETELY BLACK, was bullshit

speaking of bullshit: kindly shove all of those elephants up your ass

including that Take-Out menu on Mycroft’s fridge. I hope you get a paper-cut that never heals.

i might as well have not even bothered taking notes on these episodes, when I could have literally never watched the show before, not cared at all, and been totally fulfilled by everything by not giving a shit about details and character arcs and, you know, literally all of ACD’s original works.

OMG SHERLOCK HAS A SISTER, I don’t fucking care.

AW POOR MARY, John and her were clearly soooo in love!! - says a person who thinks couples that don’t want to be together even a little are super romantic

literally he was trying to leave his marriage like a month after it started, literally go fuck yourself

Your show made less sense, in terms of emotion and character arcs, than Guy Ritchie’s cash grab movies. Yeah. I said it.

“Look at us both”. YEAH, LOOK AT YOURSELVES IN THE MIRROR.

oh wait i forgot, you don’t know what a mirror is. what is literature? what are emotions? idk, lets make mary gasp for breathe and say “you were my whole world!!!” to john even though that makes zero fucking sense for her character or their relationship at all and does huge disservice to them both LOL

Mary could have been the most Awesome Badass Mastermind EVER but you fucked her

An Emotional Arc: Its this thing where characters (who, like people) have emotions (CRAZZY i know), and they start in one place emotionally, and end somewhere new through the story! Lets see:

Sherlock: Starts as a suave, kinda swashbuckling guy who tries to tidy up his apartment for John, asks him to dinner, and basically blushes at John’s attention. In the middle: a bit of an asshole, but one who literally tries to die for John over and over, and literally COMES BACK TO LIFE from a FATAL gunshot bc his subconsious doesn’t want to leave John with Mary. End? “Sometimes I text Irene, just like you text your side-chick! No Homo For Life, RIGHT??? Don’t think about how every action I take is to keep you safe or happy, lol”

John: Starts as an emotionally repressed, suicidal, PTSD stricken loner who is immediately enamored with Sherlock’s brain, and literally kills a man like 1 day after they meet. Middle: A bit of an asshole who is horrible at understanding that Sherlock is NOT a robot without feelings - but an asshole who is willing to die for him, and with him, but who has major trust issues. End? “I wish I had REALLY cheated on Mary with Bus Girl, I can’t believe I missed my chance! Also, even though I’m reacting extremely jealously to you texting Irene, I think you should hit that! Now hold me while I cry, and then lets get cake while my baby cries on the floor like a Sim somewhere NO HOMEO”

I will never let you forget this.

Congrats actually, you HAVE made history! You’ve made a Historically Huge Fuck Up.

Your show’s depth is thinner than Donald Trump’s skin.

200+ adaptations of Sherlock Holmes, no courage present - oh, except for that one parody “Oklahomo” one (thanks for including Sherlock tweeting an “Oklahoma!” reference also! if I had balls, that would’ve been a kick to them!).

LOL Sherlock and John - literally so hilarious!! All those people whining “They’re Not GAY that gross, Doyle would be rolling in his grave if he found out people thought that!” and “NO! SHERLOCK IS AN EMOTIONLESS ROBOT except he can fuck irene I'm okay with that for some reason”? They were all right! What a fucking joke.

I guess “Could he daily feel a stab of hunger for you, and find nourishment at the very sight of you? Yes [he’s in love with you]. But do you ache for him?” meant nothing—OH WAIT that’s from a show that actually textually acknowledged the feelings of love between it’s two main characters. And they didn’t even say “No homo!” afterwards?? I can’t believe it.

don’t ever ask your audience to pay attention on a subtextual level again. clearly, you can’t handle it.

also: I honestly couldn’t give a shit about your endless and constant derision and annoyance with people asking about the relationship between the MAIN CHARACtTERS OF YOUR FUCKING SHOW get over yourselves, and i really hope somehow ACD comes back as a ghost to haunt you one christmas, just to tell you straightt to your stupid faces that you fucked up, and how sad he is that it will always be 1895 - because nothing ever changes, and they will be stuck there forever, out of time.

how dare you bring Oscar Wilde and Freddie Mercury into this mess.

Your intentions don’t matter - what matters is that I would have been better off not paying attention to literally ANY details, not caring one ounce about the characters, and just tuning in as a completely casual viewer. 

The real lesson was “Caring is not an advantage.”, and that is sad.

And the real Final Problem? “It’s not about the characters, its about some stupid ass dog and a stupid ass ‘Saw’ house, and who gives a shit about the rest.

Congratulations - I no longer care!