#he’s so funny I love you captain windham

[thebaffledcaptain]

fellas is it gay to call a man your own young achilles

[cartoonnonsensegirl]

The Cast of Justice! Excellence! Defense! Intelligence! (J.E.D.I.) and their Star Wars knowledge

Alexis Tano: Has seen the all the originals, but only one prequel: The Phantom Menace, and it was when she was like, 3, so she can barely remember it except for Jar-Jar and some of the other funny moments. She once told Patrice (who’s from Italy) that she thought Queen Amidala looked like she belonged in the Venetian carnival, and showed her the Episode I promo pics to prove her point. Patrice agrees, but she has never seen the prequels (more on her later). Has yet to see AOTC and ROTS. Alexis has also seen the sequels and the spin-offs. Has no idea The Clone Wars exists. Is not a big SW fan in general, and would rather watch Kim Possible or Avatar: The Last Airbender.

Anatole Spacewalker: Has only seen the original trilogy. None of the prequels or sequels. Like Alexis, has never heard of The Clone Wars. He’s heard the Jar-Jar criticisms, but his main thing is that people called Darth Vader “whiny” in the prequels, and he’s afraid that the criticism may be true and it’ll ruin his image of Vader being a fearsome and intimidating villain. He liked the “I am Your Father” scene and considers it one of the best duels in movie history. The one modern SW movie Anatole may consider is Rogue One, because Alexis convinced him that it has great re-watch value. In all honesty, he’d rather be re-watching Lady and the Tramp with Patrice.

Obadiah Kenoly: Like Anatole, has also only seen the original trilogy. Finds Yoda funny in The Empire Strikes Back, and was initially shocked by the reveal that Leia was Luke’s sister. Is also jealous of Old Ben’s beard. Has heard of The Clone Wars but is disinterested.

Patrice Amaretti: Like her J.E.D.I. friends, has watched the originals, but really has not a care in the world for Star Wars. She does have a bit of prequel knowledge from some promo pics and movie stills she’s seen in magazines and online, but only that it’s the story of how Darth Vader became Darth Vader. And even though she has nothing against Leia’s character and strong personality, she thinks her design and costuming could use some work because, in Patty’s own words, “Its Space! You’d think there be more elaborate designer clothes and hairstyles with intricate headpieces! Not just a white dress and cinnamon bun hair”. Honestly, Patty would rather watch a cute, down-to-earth romantic comedy with tons of fashion changes for the female lead and a handsome male lead that is “Mr. Right” than watch a space fantasy. You know what movie she’d watch that has a space setting but also a cute love story? WALL-E. That one and Lady and the Tramp are her and Anatole’s movie night faves.

Yo Fu Wei: Has watched them all, but forgot the plots, he has.

Mace Windham: Has watched the originals and has just started the prequels. He’s been putting off AOTC due to all the deployments the J.E.D.I. Academy has been sending around the globe with their soldiers, but he’ll get to it someday.

Sidonia Palpatine: Has heard of Star Wars, has seen all the memes on the internet (and some clips in videos) when the senators critique her on social media, but never actually watched them until she finally sat down to start with the prequels. Up to now, she’s only seen TPM and AOTC. Doesn’t know the TV shows exist. While she has yet to get to the originals and sequels, she does think Luke is cute, and may also be partial to Kylo Ren for his “puppy-dog eyes”.

Bail Organic: Has seen all the movies. Has tried to convince Patrice to watch the prequels and sequels, but to no avail.

Moira Morgan: Same as Bail. She’s actually told Patrice that she might like Attack of the Clones for the cute romance moments, but the more Patty thought about it, she was like, “So if Darth Vader is Luke and Leia’s father, that means there was a Mrs. Vader...did she go evil too? Why is there no Mrs. Vader in the original movies? Did Darth Vader break up with Mrs. Vader? WHY WOULD ANYONE FALL FOR A MONSTER LIKE DARTH VADER?!!”, thus further pushing Patrice away from the franchise. Moira’s personal favorites are Return of the Jedi and Rogue One, and likes wearing necklaces with the Rebel Alliance symbol.

Rina Chomse: Has seen all Star Wars media, even though she’s not a big fan. She thinks Riyo Chuchi should have gotten more episodes in TCW.

Preston Kelsey: Has seen the originals and prequels, but not the sequels. Wishes to know the lore about the minor Jedi (not the J.E.D.I. Academy that he’s part of, but the Jedi Order in the movies) since he thought they were underused, and the alien designs are too cool to go to waste.

Captain Regis: Has not seen Star Wars

Commander Colby: Nope

Sergeant Republic Face: Nope

Alycia Spurgéon: Has seen memes and only clips. Okay, maybe the Genndy Tartakovsky cartoon, since it’s short and not lengthy.

Sheila Ti: Has seen the first six but has been putting off the sequels. The scene in Revenge of the Sith with the younglings makes her cry, so she usually skips it. She does find the Ewoks and Jar-Jar cute.

Lu Undulashian and Barrie Offerson: Would rather have a Disney sing-along marathon than watch Star Wars.

Kit Ferguson: Has seen them, but not a big fan. Like Preston, thinks all the minor Jedi were underused and just a plot device to be killed off in ROTS to set up the OT.

[detafo]

What’s That Movie!

1. Pick 15 of your favorite movies. 2. Go to IMDb and find a quote from each movie. 3. Post them here for everyone to guess. 4. Strike out when someone guesses correctly, and put who guessed it and the movie. 5. NO GOOGLING/using IMDb search functions.

1. -- I was a captain of industry; feared by men, adored by women. -- Adored! Come on, let's be honest, Lew. You *paid* for the women!

2. -- You're not at all worried that something might happen to Kevin? -- No, for three reasons: A, I'm not that lucky. Two, we use smoke detectors and D, we live on the most boring street in the whole United States of America, where nothing even remotely dangerous will ever happen. Period.

3. -- You have the right to... suck my dick, motherfucker!

4. -- You know, I never heard him play. -- Play? He didn't *play*, dear. Trumpet didn't have a single musical bone in his body. No, Trumpet had an unusually large foreskin. So large, in fact, that he could wrap the entire thing around a Monte Carlo biscuit.

5.  -- S-sir, I'm afraid you've gone mad with power... -- Of course I have. You ever tried going mad without power? It's boring. No one listens to you!

6.  -- If they ever try to trace any of those accounts, they're gonna end up chasing a figment of my imagination. -- Well, I'll be damned. Did I say you were good? Shit, you're a Rembrandt! -- Yeah. The funny thing is - on the outside, I was an honest man, straight as an arrow. I had to come to prison to be a crook.

7.  -- Do you ever think he might come after you? You ever think about him at all? -- Well, at least thirty seconds of everyday. I can't help it. He's always with me, like a bad habit.

8.  -- I have some lovely dresses; take your pick. -- I'm fine. -- Honey... you're wearing a bathrobe.

9.  -- There's no need to be coy. Look at you! That manly physique. Those handsome chiseled features. That wonderful full head... of skin! -- No touching please.

10. --  I don't know where they are, I don't know why they're here, and I have brought this all on myself because I was a stupid, reckless little slut! -- Whoa-ho-ho-ho! Don't you sound like your mother!

11. --  If I had a nickel for every time that ball pulled me out of a tight spot, I'd have a shitload of nickels!

12. -- The Lord, the Lord Jehovah has given unto you these fifteen... Oy! Ten! Ten commandments for all to obey!

13. -- Chutney, why is it Tracy Marcinco's curls were ruined when she got hosed down? -- Because they got wet?  -- Exactly. Because isn't the first cardinal rule of perm maintenance that you're forbidden to wet your hair for at least 24 hours after getting a perm at the risk of deactivating the immonium thygocolate? -- ...Yes? -- And wouldn't somebody who had, say, 30 perms before in their life be well aware of this rule, and if in fact you weren't washing your hair as I suspect you weren't because your curls are still intact, wouldn't you have heard the gunshot, and if in fact you had heard the gunshot Brooke Windham wouldn't have had time to hide the gun before you got downstairs. Which means you would have had to found Brooke Windham with a gun in her hand to make your story plausible, isn't that right?

14. -- Oh, my stepsister Hattie would die if she knew I was here. She's the, uh, the president of your fan club you know. -- Oh, Hattie, yah. Thank you. Now I know what name to put on the restraining order.

15. -- Well, well. What a glittering assemblage, King Stefan. Royalty, nobility, the gentry, and... How quaint, even the rabble. I must say, I really felt quite distressed at not receiving an invitation. -- You're not welcome here. -- Oh. Oh dear! What an awkward situation.

[sanguinarysanguinity]

#reading this and pausing every two seconds to go sir. that’s gay #HE IS SO DOWN BAD #he’s so funny I love you captain windham #his young achilles…. his CAPTOR no less……#WORD FOR WORD!!! #screams

fellas is it gay to call a man your own young achilles