#he’s our Patty

[faeriekit]

Health and Hybrids (VI)👽👻💚

[I can't remember the original prompt posters  for the life of me but here's a mashup between a cryptid!Danny, presumed-alien!Danny, dp x dc, and whatever prompt made the one body horror meat grinder fic.]

PART ONE is here PART TWO is here PART THREE is here PART FOUR is here and PART FIVE is here and this is part six💚 Ao3 Is here for all parts

Where we last left off... Danny and Bart are bros now. The Speedsters chat about the horribly injured entity their kid has decided is like a...pet? Theydk?

Trigger warnings for this story:  body horror | gore | post-dissection fic | dehumanization (probably) |  my awful attempts at following DC canon. On with the show.

💚👻👽👻💚

Danny wakes up to an unbridled wave of nostopdon’t.

…He rouses. His lungs flutter.

Danny flinches. 

There’s something— it’s large and it’s green in a way that humans are not and it’s taller and wider than Danny’s human and the space it makes in Danny’s senses—

The red human Danny is too attached to now buzzes to his bedside, spilling worrywor/rynerv/ous all over Danny’s section of this abandoned hospital. His muscles tighten up to compensate; and when the green not-human adult gets closer, Danny pushes himself forward on his elbows— closer to his vibrating human, closer to a defensive formation. 

The green thing moves and Danny can’t see the gesture. He bristles. 

And then

Danny’s skull spl

                                its

                                                down the middle. 

Everything hurts and everything is on fire. 

Danny screams. 

                        And he screams. 

                                                        And he screams. 

And—

Danny isn’t moving— everything else moves when Danny screams but he isn’t moving— the fast human has gotten even faster and they’re zooming through the building, through rooms and past adult humans that Danny has never seen, and all Danny can do is sink his claws into the human and hope that it stays. That Danny stays. In its arms, and not next to— that. 

The fast-buzzing human finds a dark room. 

It shoves Danny and itself inside. Good. 

They hide. 

Even better. 

Someone comes to the door, and Danny can feel the frigid heat of a blast forming in his fingers. But it’s only two of the humans Danny has already met. And another young human.

This one has light hair, he thinks. It shines in the light spreading out from the cracked doorway. 

They talk and they don’t crowd his space but to be honest Danny would rather they did. There’s something horrible out there, and he knows these humans aren’t that bad and whatever green thing out there certainly is. They should all be safe in this nice dark room. 

He makes a grabby hand. Come here. Get closer. 

…One of them does. Great! Danny gently bats at it with his knuckles until it joins them underneath the table. Danny puts the buzzing human in front of him and his new human behind him, so that he’s in the middle. There’s layers now. They can’t all get wiped out at once. 

Danny makes grabby hands at the other. It makes a huffy sort of vibration. Probably a laugh. Stupid. Doesn’t it notice that they’re in danger?? 

Danny whips a very sharp comehererightnowbetween them— not lashing, but not gentle. They are in danger. Come here. 

Thankfully, the last two obey—Danny’s pretty sure he’s being humored, but that doesn’t matter. Not as long as they’re all under the table. And safe.

The buzzing human’s anxious vibrations slowly move out into a slower, calmer boredom, and that’s fine, because boredom means that it doesn’t think they’re in danger. No one has found them yet and the humans are twitchy and nervous.

One of the darker-dressed humans says something. Danny can’t tell what it says, exactly, but he can turn his head to listen. The words flow around him like water. Someone else murmurs something else.

A human hand bats at Danny’s. Danny flinches. It—is it fighting?? Are they fighting??

They don’t start…hitting. But they keep batting at Danny’s hands, very carefully avoiding his claws, and—oh. They want to play. And they probably want to play quietly, so they’re being smart about not getting caught. Ugh. If Danny had his toys, they wouldn’t be so bored. This is almost worse than boredom.

…Fine. Danny’s claws don’t exactly retract like an animal’s, but they’re not so essential to his being that they’re formed and present all the time. The sharp shapes of his claws shift in the darkness, until they’re only blunt nails: suitable for playing.

All the humans make very excited noises under their breath. It’s all very interesting or something. It can’t be that special. Danny sees other ghosts reshape little bits of themselves all the time.

The quiet human in red gently lifts up Danny’s hands with its own. It gently tosses Danny’s hands in the air, so that they clap together very quietly once they fall down onto its own. Danny lets it happen. They’re this close to him anyway. They’re probably not a threat.

(The real threat is outside, anyway.)

Then his hands get flipped over. The human gently bats its hands against Danny’s, extremely careful not to anger him enough to claw. They do this a couple times before Danny figures the game out.

Oh. It’s a hand game—Danny even knows this one. It’s Ms. Mary Mack. The quiet one whispers the right tune under its breath.

Once Danny knows it, it’s easy to gently follow the motions. He surprises them when he knows the motions as well as they do; his wrists hurt when he goes too fast, or when the human kids do—when they push too hard, Danny makes himself intangible, to their delight—but he can be gentle, and eventually everyone else is gentle, and they carefully plot out Mrs. Mary Mack and a veeeery slow version of Concentration.

It’s all very fun, right up until the Large Green Not-Human pushes itself through the floor.

Danny pulls his hands back, unsheathes his claws, and shrieks.

Everyone yells and everyone gets closer—it’s a defensive formation and that’s good but it’s not enough if he needs space to help defend them—and everything is loud and upsetting and Danny’s already hurt but he can fight and he will—

—Apology, Apology— something whispers, infinitely quieter than the attack Danny had suffered.

He bolts upright. What? Oh, oh no. It wants to talk to him. Danny does not want to talk back. NonononoGoAWAY.

The giant green thing backs off. Danny gets a distinct sensation of —Questions, Answers— sent to him. The feeling is accompanied by a procession of Danny’s own memories: the stars from the base, the container he’d woken up in, his bed nest and all the waste in it.

Danny winces further back under the table. Just because he likes his cot and feels safe in it doesn't mean it isn't gross. It is gross. But everything is going to be gross until all of his insides are actually inside of him again, and not squished up in his more liquid form.

The quickfasthuman darts in front of Danny, as if it is going to be any defense against whatever this creature is, and starts yelling in its little human voice. Danny keens.

—Care, Concern— flows towards him. With it comes Danny’s memories of the buzzing human bandaging him, a flesh-tone bandage stretching across the hole where more of his nose ought to be.

…Danny stills. It’s. That’s.

It’s a very gentle emotion. Maybe the thing is…lying…? But if it was, Danny would be able to feel it. Right?

There are more thoughts and feelings that come by, first very quietly and softly, and then a little too fast to track as the being get ahead of itself. When Danny pulls away, it slows down, and the flow becomes manageable again.

The Earth. Green and peaceful.

Space. —Home. Home—

This base that Danny is on. On it are faces that the green being can see, that Danny can’t— but in its memory it shares, all of them are welcoming and friendly with…their coworker. This being.

(Is this an alien?!)

(The being pauses in its recollection. It feels distinctly —Amused, Amused—. And then Danny gets space memories!! Of Mars!!!)

He carefully eases his claws out of the carpet. Okay. This is pretty cool. Danny’s getting the hang of this.

He (thinks? Successfully?) bounces back a memory of his first room, his first shuttle model of the Atlantis, the glow in the dark stars on his ceiling.

The alien (Alien!!!) treats him to a memory of his own offsprings’ resting places in his home. On Mars.

Danny doesn’t even argue when his buzzing human tries to pick him up. They can break formation. It’s fine. Danny purrs and purrs with his core. For the first time in months and months, someone can speak to him properly. Someone wants to speak to him.

What Danny thinks matters.

The stranger invites Danny into a mutual conversation, and Danny accepts.

Danny sinks himself into a memory of the earth, as seen from the upper atmosphere. The stars were all-encompassing there. He misses flying. 

The Martian sends him a memory of a crashed…

…Oh. Danny squeezes further under the table. That’s the Specter Speeder. From the stranger's eyes, his crash into the dirt looks so bad. That’s…that crash hurt him. He’s still hurt. Still so bad. 

Even the alien’s —Concern, Fear, Worry— isn’t a comfort. 

The Martian replays the memory of the bandaids again. And then a new memory: the laboratory where Danny woke up. 

The room was full of nervous humans in scrubs and lab coats, all of whom were nervous, nervous, fussing over problems like safe food and adequate oxygen and sanitary environment and please, please be okay. Danny’s empathy is limited to other empathetic beings, but the humans' thoughts and worried faces are bare and transparently clear to the alien. 

…Oh. 

Danny thinks of the young humans crowded around him, trying to keep him comfortable and safe, even when the alien knows that the humans know that he isn’t a threat. But that they worry for Danny anyway, because he’s scared and unhappy and in pain. 

Oh, Danny thinks. …Oh. 

[ilonacho]

boyfriend haul from today

[jangmo-othewarrior]

Patty: Hey, Mom.

Nina: Yeah, Honey?

Patty: Do demons give weapons to their... friends?

--- Earlier that Day ---

Dante: Hey Brat, gotcha a new toy.

Patty: ... Dante. Is this Abigail... as a devil arm?

Dante: Oh,*laughs* yeah. I've been saving it for ya. Happy 18th, Pattycake!

Patty: ???¿¿¿???

---

Nina: Not really. There are mating gifts, but weapons tend to be reserved for 'coming of age' ceremonies for their children.

Patty: oh.... OH!

[innytoes]

OMG the generator game me Gilmore Girls and flower shop. This seems ripe for so many things. Taylor would be insufferable about regulations

So everyone knows that either Stars Hollow attracts weird people, or if you live there long enough you become Like That.

Taylor was a little apprehensive when he heard that the building next to Doose's market was bought by a bunch of former rock stars. Okay, so they only had the one album before the lead singer blew up at the record company for not letting him have creative control, their rhythm guitarist ran off with half their songs, and the other two went 'fuck it this isn't worth it anymore'.

(Lane breathlessly tells Rory all about this when she finds up three fourths of Sunset Curve is moving to Stars Hollow.)

They also bought a big house on the edge of town, with some land.

Nobody is exactly sure who lives where. Like, do the drummer and his cute skateboarding husband live in the house and the other two live above the flower shop? Do they all live in the big house? Is the apartment above the flower shop just storage? Are they growing something illegal up there?

(Taylor tries to get up there so many times will all kinds of HOA and town bylaw nonsense and they never let him. Luke Danes encourages this. And maybe trades tips with Alex about how to further annoy Taylor.)

In fact, they all live in the big house but also sometimes above the flower shop (it's Luke's Writing Den. The suspicious activity that Taylor thinks is Weed is really just Reggie trying to breed a new type of lily. They sometimes crash there after town festivals or when one of them needs some alone time.)

Reggie is the person who mostly runs the flower shop. He likes talking to people and he likes making bouquets, he took an online class!

Some old lady eventually takes pity on him and teaches him how to do it correctly. And tells him what thorn strippers are.

Alex does most of the gardening. He finds it relaxing. Sure, not all of their flowers and plants are home-grown but it keeps him busy. He also likes taking dance classes at Miss Patty's.

Luke actually has nothing to do with the flower shop except that he hangs out there a lot. But he also does that at the music store. And at Luke's. It's very confusing to everyone for a while. Some people have started to distinguish them as 'Beanie Luke' and 'Baseball cap Luke' or 'Coffee Luke' and 'Music Luke'. Or even Luke-Luke and Luke. (Luke Danes is of course Luke-Luke and he hates it.)

Luke tries to play for tips ones and nearly comes to blows with the town troubadour.

He really likes Hep Alien though and encourages them whenever he can.

Luke (Patterson) quickly rises to Gilmore levels of 'should not have coffee but will get it anyway because he doesn't take no for an answer'. Except where Lorelai and Rory usually plague the diner in the mornings, Luke comes just before close.

Alex and Willie would go so hard for the dance marathon. Reggie would beg Luke to be his partner and they'd drop out after like two hours because Luke never actually went to bed and has been up for 24 hours straight and Reggie got distracted because someone brought their dog.

Okay but you know that in between Max and Luke, Lorelai tried to date Reggie and Lane nearly exploded because YOU COULD HAVE A MEMBER OF SUNSET CURVE AS YOUR NEW STEPPARENT RORY and Rory was like: yeah no I'm pretty sure Grandma made him cry at Friday Night Dinner and he and Mom are better off as friends.

Reggie is Very Relieved when he and Lorelai break it off after like two weeks and Diner Luke stops glaring at him and will make him hot chocolates again.

Miss Patty and Babette have this bet going who will have the longest slowburn, Luke and Lorelai or Other Luke and Reggie.

Luke and Lorelai actually win and get together first and the only one who called it was Alex.

[parme-san]

apparently there might be a kamp koral season 2 to officially end it this year which is great for me as one of the show's 3 unironic fans but also scary because i hate endings and if they try to pull some twist to tie it into the main spongebob squarepants timeline it'll be weird for me

[mariocki]

A dastardly Patrick Troughton sets his sights on the heroes, as wicked Bill Mace, member of dope smuggling ring, in Dial 999: Thames Division (1.5, ABC, 1958)

[pumpkinspicepirates]

Is anyone else listening to Because The Night and just hung up on the way I feel under your command.

Ed with the cat collar, heavy breathing.

"What would you have me do, captain?" 😏🔥

[plantley]

tragically, i think i might be developing a crush on my guy friend.., i think it’s more so he’s one of like 3 men i feel safe around so let’s hope it goes away. someone like him would be really good for me but i’m not ruining our friend group

[puppiedotcom]

Man. I got mad at my mom yesterday and spoke angrily w her bc she made a comment abt how the lead actress in the upcoming Shogun series is "too dark" (but is Japanese) and thus is not like. Historically or actually accurate or good enough for this main role set in Japan (which also has a white guy but you know!) Idk. It was dumb!! We're part Okinawan!!!!! Her mom is full Okinawan!!!!!!

But then I was thinking abt some of my JA friends who can't talk about these things w their moms, let alone have an actual relationship with them for fear of being micromanaged, scolded, invalidated, etc. And I'm so lucky that I have a mom who has continually supported me through so many things she had no experience with and has been open to listening and learning. I should apologize and I need to be better abt not being impulsive and communicating in anger w loved ones

[endawn]

" at least it wasn't me this time. " / @soldsouls

 sharp hiss, biting his tongue. not worth expending more energy on arguing with a devil. not when he was attempting to get his impromptu companion to head back to camp as he needed no help hunting. however, it would seem the consumption of energy needed to be…reallocated for another surprise guest. bears ! it was always bears or boars that felt the need to take out their ire on any passersby. charging in with a fury of teeth and claws ( hooves and tusks, in a boar’s case ). ever the shield, ever the protector. reaction to danger was innate and purely instinctual when others were involved. a hand reached out to grab luci before pax moved himself in between the creature and imp.

 the crunch of metal was ignored as jaws bore down on his shoulder and luci was shoved away from the skirmish; out of the reach of swiping paws. hands now freed up, one gripped the hilt of the shortsword at his side and drove it into the animal’s skull in a single, swift motion. over as quick as it began. eyes wide and unblinking as the deadweight was cast aside into the dirt. a dull, aching throb crept from his left shoulder as a step was taken so he could properly face the bear’s corpse. arm was lifted to test its usefulness as gaze perhaps lingered too long on the blood starting to pull from where the blade remain lodged. silence filled the space and his companion was nearly forgotten until their quip startled pax out of his stupor. at least it wasn’t him this time ?

  ❝ is being attacked by faerûn’s fauna a common occurrence for you ? ❞ softly spoken, questioning. leading him back to his previous attempts at absolving himself of the other’s presence. ❝ perhaps… it would be best to return to camp as to avoid more attacks ? ❞

 a hint of subtle desperation carried in the words. hunger gnawed at him with more ferocity as the scent of blood wafted upwards. such a wondrous meal at his feet, but he detested an audience. not to mention, the knight wished to keep his condition a secret.

[vanquishedmelon]

the show never confirmed it but victor and patty definitely had a shotgun wedding. i have decided this and thus it is canon.

[nebulousfishgills]

First Shadow spoilers (based on leaks) below the cut-

Okay so in the First Shadow, Henry is in love with a girl named Patty and she's like, the only positive force in his life really. Now consider:

Broke - Henry never told Emily about Patty because he worried about her reaction to him liking someone else in the past

Woke - Emily knows about Patty and is chill about it, but is still possessive of Henry

Bespoke - Henry lets Emily see Patty through the Void and she develops a crush on her, too.

[super-done-dead]

the biggest hang-up im having with creating art at this current point in time is that i am using unfamiliar programs (all i want is cracked ps cs5 or 6 but god does not adorn me with the pleasure) as well as paracetamol beginning to barely touch my joint pain

[hohuios]

Tag drop: 2/2

[ms-demeanor]

My Boss: I want to send out quotes to all our customers with old computers but I don't want it to take a month.

Me: Okay, I've been building a spreadsheet with all the computers that can't upgrade to Windows 11, why don't we send customers a structured schedule of replacements so they can swap those out over the next eighteen months?

My Boss: Sounds good, but just quote them all at once. How many can you get out today?

Me: Uhhhh well getting the data from each computer takes a couple minutes and we manage a couple thousand computers so if I work through the client list alphabetically I can maybe do a couple clients a day? Maybe five?

My Boss: I said I don't want it to take a month.

Me: Okay, well, how about this, I'll work on this while we've got phone coverage. I'll spend five solid hours on it and I'll ignore my teams channels and email and just do this until Patty leaves at two and I have to take over the phones, because yesterday I was slammed with stuff and didn't get any work in on the list. I'll just focus on this alone for five straight hours and I'll respond to other stuff in the afternoon.

My Boss: Well you can't ignore the techs, if they need you you need to drop what you're doing to get stuff done for them.

Me: And that's why putting together this list has taken a month *so far.*

My Boss: Well, figure it out. I want to get these quotes out today.

-----

Anyway so that's why I'm fucking around on tumblr at work. If I'm going to fail at the task he's set anyway I might as well be relaxed while I'm failing at it.

[tgcg]

both of them

TG: im the worlds first playtime rapper

TG: my name is lil homie giggle

TG: they subjected me to a lethal dose of whimsy radiation during childhood in an experiment gone horribly silly

TG: im hopelessly addicted to running around and play wrestling and eating ice cream at the park

TG: this is my cohort in living laughing and loving

TG: my apprentice and tanglebuddy

CG: M.C. HUGBUMP.

CG: MY LIPS ARE PERMANENTLY CONTORTED INTO A LACKADAISICAL GRIN SO MAGICAL THAT THE UNTRAINED EYE CAN'T FUCKING PERCEIVE OF IT.

CG: MY LAUGHTER LEVELS CITIES IN A CATEGORY 10 HAPPINESS EVENT.

TG: he went to the blood bank and all they found inside was cherry slushy

CG: EVERY TIME SOMEONE BUMPS OUR RAPS, I PERSONALLY TEAR THEIR SOULS OUT OF THEIR BODIES AND TICKLE THEIR METAPHYSICAL SHAME GLOBES WITH THE MOST ILLICIT OF MERRYMAKING TUNES.

CG: MY SOUND IS SO EXPLOSIVELY GIDDY THAT ALL WHO WITNESS CAN'T HOLD BACK THE FOUNTAIN OF RAINBOW BILE CONGEALING IN THEIR SQUAWK GAPERS. OPEN THE FUNGATES AND WASH ME AWAY, LAY ME ADRIFT IN PSYCHEDELIC SODA BUBBLES AND PARTY FRACTALS.

TG: were out here putting the ill in silly

TG: playas in the way we love to monkey around

TG: and when we rap we drop goddamn party grenades

CG: AND EACH NIGHT, AFTER LEAVING THE STUDIO AND SKIPPING ALL THE WAY TO OUR HIVE, WE ENTRENCH OURSELVES IN A CUDDLE FUDDLE SO FUCKING FROLICSOME THAT THE NEIGHBORS ARE TOO BUSY CRYING OF JOY TO CALL THE FUN POLICE.

TG: fun police cant even handle these levels of delight they can call in backup all they want

TG: we just play games with em

CG: I'M BRANDISHING A GAME OF YAHTZEE LIKE A LETHAL WEAPON.

TG: doesnt even know how to play but hes got spirit a fucking plenty

CG: I AM THE KNIGHT OF GOOD.

TG: i am the knight of smile

CG: HE'S PLAYING PATTY CAKE WITH YOUR HUMAN MOMMY EVERY NIGHT.

TG: hes wanted in every state for funny laundering and assault on police officers

CG: AND WE JUST GOT SIGNED

TG: to pickles records