#he’s living his life the best he can
Explore tagged Tumblr posts
Text
“you’ll never be their first choice.”
spiralling.
#num draws#rowan posting#digital art#yandere#yandere oc#male yandere#oc art#cw eyestrain#just in case!#rowan hates feeling like he’ll never be anyone’s first choice..!#oops!#vent art kinda..?#im projecting onto him#LMFAOOO#relatable king 🤩#he feels like this a lot#and who doesnt!#coughs#anyway#there’s rowan#he’s living his life the best he can#alr im going to bed now ive gotta be up at six </3#HATE my thursday schedule!!!#save me please
77 notes
·
View notes
Text
SV fic where Luo Bingge discovers that Shen Jiu had a long-lost half-brother or something, and subsequently decides that he's going to infiltrate the minor sect which this "Shen Yuan" belongs to in order to get close to him and then indulge in revenge fantasy 2.0 when it inevitably turns out that Shen Yuan is like Shen Jiu (i.e. a horrible abusive scum teacher).
So Bingge uses some magical object or technique or other, makes himself look like a scrawny 12-14 year old, then puts himself in Shen Yuan's path in hopes of convincing the man to take him on as a disciple. The idea being that after Shen Yuan abuses him, Bingge will be justified in reenacting his Shen Qingqiu Revenge Arc again and maybe finally feeling some closure about the whole thing.
Yes, this is a very deranged plan. No, no one is going to tell the emperor of the three realms that. Bingge also wants it to be clear that this has nothing whatsoever to do with his recent escapade in an alternate universe, except that he was inspired to find Shen Jiu's relative as a consequence of that. But he's absolutely sure that this guy is going to turn out just as rotten as his brother, given the opportunity. That is definitely the only reason he is doing this!
Flash forward about four years. Bingge's retainers are begging on their knees for him to actually come back and do some administrative work. The harem is running itself at this point and they're all very terrified of the situation with Liu Mingyan and Sha Hualing (i.e. ruling with lesbian iron fists) and whatever the heck Ning Yingying is up to (no one is certain but it's something). The outer provinces are rebelling. Mobei Jun's somehow found another weird human surnamed Shang to cavort with, except this one is basically running admin for the entire northern kingdom now and no one's even sure if they're fucking or if it's some kind of mind control situation or what.
Bingge is annoyed. He doesn't have a good explanation for why a bunch of demon lords would be showing up on the doorstep of Tiny Cultivation Sect to beg him for anything. They're going to spoil his cover! And they're interrupting his schedule! It's already four o'clock and he hasn't started on Shizun's dinner yet! Shoo! Get lost!
Anyway, eventually some of his demon followers get desperate and dramatically kidnap him. Shen Yuan is horrified and grieved when it seems that his precious disciple, so like white lotus Luo Binghe from the novel, has been captured by demons. He tries to track the assailants down, but they've covered their tracks too well. In the end, there's only one path left to him to pursue: taking this matter to the protagonist!
Yes, the protagonist! Because the thing is, Shen Yuan noticed the similarities between his disciple and the book character he so admired. Not only that, but he did manage to glimpse Bingge one time from afar. It wasn't anywhere near to a real interaction, but it was enough for him to notice the strong resemblance between the protagonist and the mistreated little lamb who showed up at his doorstep. A resemblance for which there can only be one explanation:
Shen Yuan's disciple is one of Binghe's kids!
Yes, he had it figured out since fairly early on. Not only was there a resemblance, and not only were their dispositions quite similar, but also the boy showed a lot of signs of some demonic heritage. Shen Yuan was just working up to broaching the subject, partly because he had been trying to avoid any direct or even indirect interactions with the emperor, and partly because he... became somewhat reluctant to part ways with his student. Sue him! He got attached! And anyway, he knew how missing child plots usually went. There was probably someone in the harem who was out for his disciple's blood, and it wouldn't be safe to send him back into that mess until he was strong enough to look after himself.
But as is inevitable, the plot seems to have reclaimed Shen Yuan's student all on its own.
He just... needs to make sure that it isn't a tragic outcome. It seems it falls on him to make the emperor aware of his son's survival, and subsequent peril, and help launch a rescue!
Which also means approaching Luo Binghe in person, which he knows is very risky indeed, due to his connection to the infamous Shen Qingqiu! He'd been avoiding the protagonist at all costs for that exact reason.
But if it's his only hope of rescuing his disciple, he will simply have to take the risk, and hope that enough time has passed that Luo Binghe doesn't read too much into a shared surname and a passing resemblance. Or that restoring the emperor's long-lost son to him will be worth seem lenience for the crime of being connected to Shen Qingqiu. Maybe if he's lucky, he will even be allowed to continue visiting his disciple! (Ha, yeah right! More likely, Luo Binghe's going to take his head for hiding his own kid from him for so long!)
Anyway, cue Luo Bingge running around swapping between his Emperor and Disciple forms, dramatically trying to orchestrate a situation where he can fake the emperor's death and go back to the sect with Shizun as his disciple, or something, only for it all to blow up in his face because Shen Yuan keeps flinging himself between Bingge and potentially fatal threats that could plausibly kill him???
#bingqiu#svsss#scum villain's self saving system#bingyuan#scum villain#long post#shen yuan: no way can binghe die like this I'm getting to the bottom of this mystery#luo binghe just trying to fake his death so he can go live his best housewife life: no he's dead it's fine let's just go please c'mon#it all probably turns out#like shen yuan's going to figure it out and then pretty much immediately forgive him once he recovers
2K notes
·
View notes
Text
Yandere! Love God x Reader
Soulmates do not always meet in every lifetime. Sometimes, a person may become a bird that soars the skies while their soulmate becomes a fish that swims the depths of the sea. Other times, a person may become a little flower in a field while their soulmate becomes a large cactus in a desert. More often than not, the stars must align for soulmates to meet in a single lifetime.
You, however, are the exception. You will meet your soulmate in every lifetime for as long as your soul exists.
After all, your soulmate is the God of Love, an immortal being that ensures that you will meet in every single lifetime.
It doesn’t matter if you’re a little plant, an animal, or a human – he’ll always find you and love you. When you’re not there by his side, he patiently waits for the glow of your soul to return to the mortal realm.
It’s become a pattern of his, a habit. When you leave his side due to your life’s candle burning out, his world will be drowned in grayscale and monotony. He goes about his days without much care for anything, his duty taking the forefront of his mind.
But when you reincarnate, your soul colors his world with his love for you, brightening up his days. To him, it doesn’t matter what you are, just that you are – that you exist. Your existence takes the forefront of his mind, his body, his soul. He devotes everything to you for as long as he can, eager to dye you in his colors in every one of your lifetimes.
It doesn’t matter that you don’t remember him – he’ll remember for the both of you, filling pages and pages with his memories of you. It doesn’t matter that he has to start all over again in every single lifetime – he’ll gladly fill you with his love for you over and over again. Because, to him, you go beyond just being his world – you’re his universe.
So, for most people, the stars must align for soulmates to meet in a single lifetime. But for you, your soulmate forces the stars to collide so that he can draw your constellation next to his again and again for the rest of eternity.
#yandere oc#male yandere#yandere x reader#yandere x you#tsuuper ocs#tw yandere#yandere god x reader#yandere god#yandere love god#Aizono Tsuu OC#2024 yan/monstertober tsuutarr#male yandere x you#male yandere oc x reader#male yandere oc#“would you love me if i was a worm?” the answer is yes#listen you don't understand how devoted he is#like if u were reborn as a worm... he'd put you in the best terrarium and just do his best to take care of you until you live our your life#ofc he kind of prefers it when ur a human just bc he can talk to you but he really does just love you man#(he will never get a happy ending tho bc he's fated to live forever and you're fated to die and reincarnate forever teehee <3
1K notes
·
View notes
Text
Uncle Thorin headcanons nobody can dissuade me from, part 2: young uncle Thorin
(part 1), (Dwalin)
during Dís' pregnancies he acts like a rock for her and her nervous husband, while he is secretly terrified when she goes into labour
he weeps the first time he gets to hold his nephews (and the 10 times afterwards)
he handles Fíli like a bomb in the beginning, because he is scared of accidently dropping or hurting him
after Fíli is weaned and Kíli is born, Dís and her husband have a hard time, since Kíli is a very restless baby. To give them some more breathing room, little Fíli spends the next few years in a sling tied around Thorin's chest and accompanies him everywhere. Thorin is more than a little sad, when this time ends, but fortunately soon Kíli is weaned and then Thorin gets to carry him around everywhere
he gives them cute nicknames. Fíli is his jewel and Kíli his gem.
he goes into crisis mode whenever one of the lads coughs more than once (fortunately Óin is very patient)
when Fíli and Kíli are small, they often climb into his bed at night, for example when they are cold or scared. It usually ends with Thorin waking up with at least one of Kíli's feet in his face or an elbow in his gut
he cuddles the two all the time and after little Gimli is born, he gets the same treatment
whenever all of them get together, Thorin usually ends up with three Dwarflings on his lap. (he found a way to stack them. Dís doesn't know what to think about that)
the only reason Fíli and Kíli don't call him adad is the fact, that Thorin would never claim that title out of respect for his late brother-in-law
when they are all of a sudden grown-ups, he sorely misses the time when they were small enough to sit on his knee or come running for a hug
he has a box hidden under his bed with his nephews' old things. He gets a little misty-eyed whenever he looks at their tiny baby boots. (one time he shows them to Dwalin, which ends with both of them sobbing. They don't speak of this afternoon)
he is in general a lot more affectionate and caring with them than on the quest, which is one of the reasons Fíli and Kíli are disturbed by his behaviour starting in mirkwood
#the hobbit#thorin oakenshield#thorin#uncle thorin#fili#kili#fili and kili#dwalin#gimli#i think a lot of people have the headcanon that their father died when they were very young (so do i)#i like to picture that they all live together#he's a big old softie#he loves them very much and usually shows it (if he isn't on a quest of life and death)#he is also usually less harsh than on the quest#and probably the best uncle one can ask for#it's kinda sad in my opinion that a lot of fics leave out his relationship to his nephews#headcanons#my stuff
352 notes
·
View notes
Text
i don't think hbomb was born in the wrong generation per se but more like he was born in the wrong dimension. that man was born to be some sort of trickster spirit or perhaps even fae that steals your name identity wife husband and kids if you fail to answer his riddles three. alas. he was born on stupid earth which means he's forced to chase that thrill through youtubing instead
#icarus speaks#+ streaming#it's not that i don't think he's not having fun#he is. he's living his best life. i just think he can never reach his true fulfillment#of stealing random people's names on the street#im rewatching the catmaid series again can you tell
549 notes
·
View notes
Text
Tdick is literally a gift from the gods. You agree wholeheartedly and with gusto.
#low energy creatureposting#Creature Originals#creature rambles#turns out that freud paper isnt due until next week so i can stop losing my mind!! joy of joys#also idk if my tdick grew again or what but that little guy is really living his best life#hes so...omnipresent and sensitive#straight vibing and vibin#if you will#trans bd/sm#ftm kink#ftm sub#trans sub#queer bd/sm#trans ns/fw#trans nsft#ftm nsft#tdick#bd/sm kink#transmasc nsft
4K notes
·
View notes
Text
Two hearts
immediate continuation from this post.
:3
#horse girl au#fun fact a horse can hear a heartbeat from 4ft away#sometimes Hob just seems so bizarre to Dream that he doesnt know how to respond#He just does the “I guess?????” meme#centaur anatomy lesson#hob just living his best horse girl life#hob gadling#dream of the endless#centaur!dream#dreamling#the sandman#the art tag#centaurs
1K notes
·
View notes
Text
Fill my heart with song and let me sing for ever more...
I've finished the third season of Kimi ni Todoke recently (near and dear to my heart since highschool) and I fell in love with how soft and dreamy aquariums dates look. They're going out for dinner afterwards 🤭💖
#“You know what I find funny? You're making shego live a normal life experiencing the little fun things” - BF#That's because I want my girlie to live her best life. Shego kicks ass and is a girlboss yeah...#...but I want her to enjoy outings that make her have the biggest most gorgeous smile on her face. Girlie deserves the world#also I guess Drakken is there as well I guess. Fawning over her and all. He can watch his girlfriend politely and respectfully#Shego#Drakken#DrDrakken#Drakgo#Shego x Drakken#Drakken x Shego
209 notes
·
View notes
Text
sally and percy were always each other’s constants, they became a bit more distant once percy found out he was a demigod, but they were still each others firsts
then estelle was born
percy loves estelle so much, so much it physically hurts
but he sees estelle and how happy she is, how she had a mom that doesnt work the night shift nearly every night and instead is home nearly all the time, and she has a dad that’s present and there and is safe and percy is so so happy that she has what he never did
but at the same time he knows thats the exact reason why it hurts
estelle has what percys wanted his whole life
and now estelle has the only thing percy had his whole life
being his mothers first and top priority
he knows why, he understands why, estelle is a baby and needs to be cared for constantly, and percys nearly 18 and doesnt need his mom all the time anymore
but it hurts because all the food is no longer blue, it hurts because he sees estelle grow up and get help, it hurts because he sees estelle with the life he always wanted, but knows he will never had
and it hurts because hes no longer his mother’s constant.
sally has paul now, she has paul to help her through her issues and she has a child that doesnt get expelled from every school shes been in
and percy has his family. but its not the same. annabeth has always been there, but she doesnt understand, thalia has been through the same childhood as percy but she doesnt know what its like to watch the bad go to good in the same household, grover has always listened but he just doesnt understand
because hes happy estelle has the life he always wanted. hes glad his mother has the life she always wanted. but hes not in that life. because hes moving out soon. and hes no longer his mothers son, at least not in the way he was before
#i would apologize but im actually not sorry#he used to come home from anything and his mother would be there in an instant#checking him over and making sure hes ok#then estlelle is born#and he loves her so so much#but now when he comes home sally is on the couch holding estelle gently#and she can only pay so much attention to her son#and listen. i love sally#i really do#shes the best mom there was#however#she can no longer be that perfect safe space she once was#to other demigods? she is still that safe space#but thats all theyve known her#but percy has seen sally risk everything for percy#and while hes so happy she longer has to#theres still that empty and painful feeling#and it just gets worse when he sees estelle living the life he always dreamed of#pjo#percy jackson#sally jackson#estelle blofis#estelle and percy#jackson-blofis family#they have so much angst potential i love it#pjo angst#percy jackson angst#reef says#reef angst#percy and sally
321 notes
·
View notes
Text
uther has recently been putting more and more pressure and responsibilities on arthur as crown prince of camelot. he’s been dragged into countless meetings, forced to sit by his father during trials, princess after princess has been shoved into his arms in hopes of marriage and arthur is tired. he’s exhausted. he’s been stretched so thin he doesn’t even bother to engage in merlin’s attempts at banter. merlin is concerned and worried and wants to whisk arthur away on a hunt or some other quest to just get him out of camelot to recuperate. arthur is cracking under the stress his father is putting him under but he doesn’t show it bc he is the Perfect Prince. until he catches merlin using magic and he can hear his father ordering him to kill merlin in his mind but he’s certain that choice would actually crush him. if killing merlin, his best friend, is what it means to be prince, he doesn’t want it. he ignores the enraged voice of his father echoing within his mind and grabs merlin’s hand and they flee camelot together to live peacefully on a farm far, far away
#eventually uther dies and arthur goes back to reclaim his throne#but for now he rests under the sun in a field on his and merlin’s land#theyre living their best cottagecore life#bbc merlin#merlin emrys#arthur pendragon#this was meant to be merthur (/r) but it turned out merthur (/p) but you can still read it as merthur (/r)#lmao#fanfiction#fanfic#fic ideas#prompts
242 notes
·
View notes
Note
PLS PLS PLSSSSS keep talking about kids with olympic athletes! gojo and nanami pls pls pls i have to Know. everything u wrote about yuuta was already so so cute
(prev olympics au here)
the gojo twins are hilarious because your baby boy looks exactly like satoru, but has very little of his personality—it seems like the only things he inherited was satoru’s love for sweets and love for you. still, even though he’s a strong swimmer, he much prefers to relax in his floaties alongside you if you’re also in the pool, or chill by your side on a lounge chair, glasses too big for his face keeping the sun out of his eyes as he shares his smoothie with you, and asks to borrow your phone to take pictures of his sister and daddy in the pool.
your baby girl on the other hand… she might have your face but she’s got satoru’s everything else—his competitive streak, his confidence, and definitely his mischievous nature. she’s the one who tiptoes into your bedroom at five in the morning, tapping at her daddy’s shoulders, and putting her little finger over his lip to shush him before he can wake you up; she’s always the one to convince satoru to take her swimming the backyard at the crack of dawn, and why by the time you and your baby boy wake up, she and satoru are already past warm up laps and swimming lessons and onto who can make the splashiest canonball competitions (she always wins because while her tiny body can endure a belly flop, satoru’s years of training physically doesn’t allow him to do it… and maybe because he’s not so competitive when it comes to his baby girl, he’ll always let her win).
kento’s professional judo career honestly doesn’t last very long. after his first olympic games, you two start dating and he proposes just after he wins gold the second time he’s in the olympics; he does maybe two more years of national competitions while you’re pregnant, and decides that the intense training for the next two years in preparation of a third olympic competition isn’t worth missing time he could spend with you or your baby girl—plus, with all the money he’s made from competitions, winning gold medals, brand ambassadorships, commercials, and collaborations, he had enough money to provide for all of your for the rest of your lives. so, that’s what he does (his dream has always been to be a househusband, anyway...) his previous salaryman career comes in handy when deciding how to invest his money, how to buy a house, how to take care of his friends, how to set up a fund for your daughter, and an extra account or two… just incase more babies come along…
by the time your baby girl is four, she’s already kento’s biggest fan. she loudly and proudly proclaims to everybody that her daddy was basically superman and won all the shiny trophies and medals in the house from when he was being a superhero. if anyone recognizes kento when they’re out together, she always confirms their suspicions, proudly boasting, “yeah kento is my daddy! he’s a winner!” it always makes kento’s heart swell to hear her praise. he doesn’t compete professionally anymore, but he does train from time to time, and has taken on a few mentees, and your daughter LOVES to watch him coach/train. she’s got her own uniform that she always puts on whenever they go to the gym together, and gets so excited when kento or ino or yuuji pretend to spar with her.
she’s honestly kento’s mini figure. she’s respectful and reserved, but strong and knows when to fight and how to use her voice. there’s a time when he gets a call from her school saying that she got in a fight, the principal frames it as your daughter needlessly pushing around an older kid, but your daughter is certain in her words when she tells her dad that it was because the kid was being mean to the younger kids, and to her. kento doesn’t say a word to the teachers—doesn’t even fight them sending her home early for the day, because he’s happy to scoop her up and take her out for ice cream and tell her that he’s proud of her.
#anonymous#gojo twins r so real to me... one looks like him but does Not act like him and the other one does not look like him but might as well Be Hi#and he loves n smothers them both so much....#kento goes from salaryman to professional athlete to househusband he really does live the dream life LOLLL#see also: kento's baby girl 🤝 satoru's baby girl = best friends LOLL#in my head kento and satoru are olympians at the same time/know each other#but yuuji isn't he has his own story/trajectory#which is why he is nanami's mentee in This Universe#actually i think yuuji's kinda exists on his own#and all his friends/his circle are real proud of him when it's all said n done yk#nobara teases him about finally putting his strength to good use megumi is proud in his own way#his grandpa and nanami are obviously proud of him and he comes home w a gold medal#and is basically a hero in his tiny home town#(also time for me to introduce my favorite hc: yuuta and yuuji childhood friends bc they're from the same city)#the narutoism of it all... he comes home w gold and everyone basically tosses him up and down... angel boy :(#megumi kinda exists in the kento/satoru world too i think... nd before him there was toji#wait maybe yuuta and yuuji can exist in the same timeline nd everyones like what r the odds those two kids from sendai are olympians#jjk x reader#jujutsu kaisen x reader#gojo satoru x reader#satoru x reader#nanami kento x reader#kento x reader#think tho in the yuuta/yuuji olympics verse yuuji competes 2 or maybe 3 times (so total of 12 years) nd then quits#not because he's gotten weaker but just because he really did it for the money yk but he's set for life now#honestly he was set after the first time but he just wanted to be sure/you and his grandpa encouraged him to at least do it to have Fun#this time around so he does#but for yuuta this is his Career yk like he loves tennis#he's not in it for the olympics he just likes it and happens to be real good at it#two of them talking about each other in press conferences so cute
149 notes
·
View notes
Text
okay ive been thinking.
rb with your answer + what your interpretation of barbie/ken is
#mcyt#technoblade#OKAY this is really dumb but bear with me DBJSBDJ#(dont read my og tags before u vote i want to hear ur own interpretation!!)#to me a ken is like a himbo. just living his best life unbothwred#and barbie 100% knows what she wants and how to get it shes a capital g Girlboss okay#SO IM THINKING. techno’s obviously a barbie have you ever watched any of his videos#BUT AT THE SAME TIME. being a barbie all the time would be so exhausting youve got sm shit to do#so in conclusion i say. hes a ken that can be a barbie whenever he wants. will he be tho? who knows#depends on the weather or wether he took his adhd meds that day
1K notes
·
View notes
Text
Look I like Roger enough, I understand what he represents and I generally don’t think he was a bad dude. I do however think he was shit at interpersonal relationships because, what the fuck. Whitebeards crew is infinitely more well adjusted and I’d say he arguably had the more traumatic death.
Like what even, what kind of planning leads a 53 year old man to sire a child knowing he is dying of an incurable illness and is about to turn himself in to be excuted by the marines where he will cause so much chaos it is literally still turning the world on its head 22 years later. He knew he was going to cause so much of a stir that he literally disbanded his crew and told them to spread far and wide to keep them safe. Because he knew the marines would hunt them far and wide But yet he still brought a baby into the world. Babe. What the fuck? What even is that? What was the thought process. I sincerely hope it was an accident and not a deliberate attempt to bring about a new era.
Because if so babe I need to see the recipe or I’m afraid we can never let you cook again
#even tho that baby was ace and I love ace#it’s the way I don’t think there is a single former member of his crew that we’ve seen that I would say is currently happy#like don’t get me wrong I respect his will he seems like a great dude#but you know what they say about great men they’re often not good men#like definition he burned to bright he couldn’t help but leave all his loved ones in the dust as he burned himself out on a fiery explosion#the absentee father vibes are strong with this one#I would argue that he gave all 3 of his sons complexes#fucking ace has such terrible self worth issues and lived his life waiting to die.#shanks is also trying to drink himself to death is so chill it is literaly hazardous to his health and had his dreams arrested at 15#and Buggy is the worst case of forgotten child syndrome and arrested development that I have ever seen#I wouldn't say someone like Marco is currently happy but you can definetly see a future where he is after the grief settles a little more#but it��s been 22 years and Rayleigh is still drinking himself into a stupor and waiting for the second coming of his captain#gol d roger#portagas d. ace#gol d. roger#roger pirates#whitebeard pirates#throwing thoughts to the void#one piece#op#one piece thoughts#one piece meta#I know people like to paint his as this mastermind that practically orchestrated the current happenings in canon#but I think they forget just how much that would make him a giant asshole. pulling the strings of peoples lives#which is such anthesis to everything we know about him and his resemblance with luffy he’s never try to control his crews lives#especially not from beyond the grave#I genuinely think he planned none of it he was just a man trying his best and falling short in some areas#shanks#silvers rayleigh
65 notes
·
View notes
Text
Personal hc that Luciano can lift any of the latinos. Also that Manu and Sebi are both very light ♥
#tincho's like 'ah yes i can get used to this'#sebi's living his best life#manu isn't sure how tf he ended up in that situation#brarg#latin hetalia#zu art#lh: brazil#lh: argentina#lh: chile#lh: uruguay
287 notes
·
View notes
Text
I wonder what Louis’s doing now that he's living alone for the first time in 145 years
#i hope hes playing ari Lennox's new apartment and wlaking round that bitch naked cus nobofy can tell him shit#interview with the vampire#he took down that fuckass highass inaccesible ass bookcase and hes reading every book up in there#hes wearing color again. hes in a child loss support group he goes to the club 3 times a week hes in the bahamas vibing#hes living his best life. theres a towel on the floor. he finally gets to bottom again#no more fuckdungeon bedroom hes gon live for him not a nigga who needs therapy#hes listening to beyonce again hes doing good :)#iwtv#amc iwtv#louis de pointe du lac#ldpdl
102 notes
·
View notes
Text
Nine and Ten's arcs go hand in hand as a collectively great PTSD narrative imo. I think Ten's wishy-washiness about relationships and inability to fully open up to Rose is often characterized as plain old fear of commitment yet I see that as a progression to another presentation of PTSD. When we first meet Nine, he seems like he's halfway to planning on how to get himself killed. He meets Rose, he heals, he changes, he grows. Then he regenerates into someone with a desire to live and the seeming capacity to just be happy. At the same time, he regenerated for and because of Rose. Recovery that hinges on one person is a tricky thing. When you're with that person it can feel like there's no more work to be done, like you're totally 'fixed'. Every moment with that person feels like the best thing in the world... which makes it significantly harder to open up about anything trauma related. When you're feeling high on a person's presence why would you ever want to think about the bad things? THEN because he finally properly wants to live, The Doctor gets hit with the realization that living a full life means losing Rose in the end and it's downright intolerable to him. It makes him push and pull and act like a bastard sometimes. We get glimpses of who he is without her in the moments when she's threatened. He loses his damn mind any time she's threatened- he gets that crazed look akin to Nine in Dalek more than anything. This is also in contrast to how Nine used to react to Rose being threatened, where he used to still be able to keep it reined in. THEN... he loses her for real and he backslides majorly. We see the effects in Turn Left, that if Donna hadn't been there he would have died right after saying goodbye to Rose. He's more or less back where he started as Nine in the beginning of series one, looking for a way to die. He lives though, and has to accept that no, he's not perfectly recovered and keep on working on it. He opens up about things in ways we saw him struggle to in series 2. Though he's more callous in series 3 and 4, he seems to struggle more with relating to humans, his bastardous tendencies pop up more. He's also a freaking disaster man in series 4 with the number of times he offers or tries to give up his life for others. He DOES make recovery progress through series 3 and 4, just is slow like in real life. All of that makes JE make sense to me in that this is a man who is experiencing turbo PTSD triggering. He pushes everyone away all at once, because maybe being alone will hurt less than losing people after all. Even after all that in the end when he is dying he says he doesn't want to go. He was born into wanting to live and be happy so of course he doesn't want to go.
#doctor who#ninth doctor#tenth doctor#rose tyler#9th doctor#10th doctor#timepetals#there's a lot more nuance to this than I had energy to write about rn#but regeneration as ptsd recovery story is so interesting to me in general#bc it literally does/can feel like you have to become a whole new person#and it's so so easy to hinge it all on one person or thing that makes life worth living#ten is a somewhat toxic mess#and i love him for it#he's a bastard who is also trying his damn best
307 notes
·
View notes