#he’s literally screaming and crying at kaidou like ‘WHY WOULD YOU TELL HIM??’

[kubosai-central]

Imagine Kuboyasu still in his pining era and he’s discussing it with Kaidou and Kaidou, being the way he is, goes, “Oh, we should probably create some distance so that Saiki doesn’t think that you like me instead.” but, being the way they are, they take it to such an extreme that Saiki starts getting the idea that they don’t like each other anymore and asks Kaidou about it and since that man can’t keep a secret for his life, he tells Saiki about the whole spiel.

[solicuttle]

Hello :) Could you possibly do a fic about Kuboyasu and the reader trying to keep their relationship a secret from all their friends cause it’s both their first relationship but slowly everyone starts to find out on their own but hide it to themselves since they think they’re the only ones who know (and saiki is ready to just out their relationship since it’s just getting ridiculous at this point) im sorry if this is a lot

Howdy! It’s fine 😊 I really liked this idea too, anyways:

———

The Not-So-Secret Secret

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Word Count: 1.2k

Warnings: None

Characters: Kuboyasu Aren

———

“No one is here right now,” at your words, Kuboyasu slinks into the classroom after you, shutting the door behind him. He’s a bit nervous; then again, it’s not his fault, today has been one of the hardest days since he first started dating you! Kuboyasu wouldn’t trade your relationship for anything in the world (especially considering he’s already thought of a perfect house for the two of you with a great view) but also because this is Kuboyasu’s first time in a relationship, and he doesn’t want to mess it up.

Messing things up is the special skill that only belongs to Nendou and Kaidou – and as much as Kuboyasu considers them part of his friend circle, he knows they’d blow things out of proportion! Your privacy would be over, Kaidou and Nendou always around to coo at you guys or just be general nuisances.

It didn’t take much effort for you to convince Kuboyasu that you should keep your relationship on the “down low” until you felt prepared to take the next step together. But that made moments like these much more special, much more desperate so forgive Kuboyasu for being antsy to kiss you. It’s not his fault you’re so damn attractive! In his haste, Kuboyasu hadn’t locked the door.

Usually that wouldn’t be an issue at all but today just happened to be the day that Kaidou was hunting down Dark Reunion. And for some unknown reason Dark Reunion was lurking around your class. Kaidou glances past the class – no Dark Reunion there – but there are definitely two people in a corner. Could they be possessed? Kaidou leans in, pushing the door open slightly -- expecting to catch supernatural activities; instead he catches you and Kuboyasu… making out.

Kaidou nearly screams but instead bites his tongue. He’s about to cry from the pain but you two are too focused to see him. Kaidou leaves immediately, in shock from what he’d seen. He’s got to tell everyone now.

And then he enters class, ready to divulge your secrets but for some reason he can’t speak. (You owe Saiki a favor for that). Could this be some higher power telling Kaidou not to out your relationship? He is the only one who knows… it must be his task to protect your relationship! That’s it!

“Oi shortie, why are you standing there like an idiot?” Kaidou blanks at Nendou’s words, is he getting called an idiot by Nendou of all people? Nendou?!

“Take that back, I’m not stupid like you!”

“Duh, it’s ‘cuz you’re stupider!”

By the time you walk in, Nendou and Kaidou are going at it like a bunch of wild cats.

———

If you ask Kuboyasu, he’s been doing a great job at this “hiding your relationship” game. Sure, he’s almost kissed you twice when Takahashi walked by; Kuboyasu had to grab a chair to threaten Takahashi into silence – it’s not one of his finest moments.

You’ve managed to only call him by his first name twice, and Saiki had been walking by, but the pink-haired male hadn’t reacted, so you should be safe for now. Truthfully Saiki had heard everything clearly (Saiki could even hear Kuboyasu’s overly romantic thoughts) but Saiki would much rather pretend he heard nothing to avoid having to hold a conversation with you two. Saves him the hassle.

And things were going perfectly too – and then they weren’t because you’d called him Aren and Hairo had passed by. Unlike Saiki, Hairo didn’t seem willing to let it go.

“Oh wow, when did you become that close?!” His excitement isn’t dulled by the awkward expressions you and Kuboyasu are sporting. Your boyfriend is tempted to knock Hairo out and run away but the red head would get up almost immediately.

“Last weekend!” “Yesterday!”

Hairo ignores your double answer, “ah is this something private? That’s okay then! Don’t mind me!” He leaves, leaving both of you dumbstruck. Kuboyasu lets out a sigh of relief – today you’d once again escaped being caught.

Unbeknownst to both of you Teruhashi had been hiding in a conveniently placed closet (not because she’s stalking you or trying to hide from her adoring fans, definitely not) and had overheard everything. The minute you leave she’s scrambling out with a squeal, barely containing her excitement.

They’re so cute! I wonder if I could have a secret relationship with Saiki in the future…

(Saiki unconsciously shivers in class, for some reason he thought he felt someone with bad intentions…)

———

The next person who finds about your not-so-secret-secret relationship is Toritsuka. He didn’t mean to find out, but one of the ghosts Toritsuka had been begging to help him get a relationship had mentioned it.

“Your behavior is the reason you aren’t in a relationship like [Name] and Kuboyasu!” Toritsuka had purposefully ignored the ghost’s rebuking, instead focusing on the important part. Kuboyasu is dating you! That swine Kuboyasu hadn’t even thought to mention it! Was Kuboyasu purposefully making fun of the eternally single like Toritsuka?

He’s about to question the ghost further but the ghost vanishes before he can ask any proper questions. This leaves Toritsuka one option.

Stalk you both to get the evidence with his own eyes! When Toritsuka finally gathers concrete proof, he could burst in and have his righteously earned yelling match with Kuboyasu. You don’t just not tell your friends that you’ve gotten an S/O and get away with it.

His plan is foolproof, just follow you guys around. It’s actually surprising how Tortisuka didn’t notice earlier.  Kuboyasu tends to drift towards you, sometimes without even knowing. In group projects you’re always partnered together… it’s like you’re conjoined twins.

Is this the will of the universe, that those who are blessed will naturally be lucky in their romantic endeavors? Toritsuka glances to the side and catches Yumehara and Teruhashi fawning over Saiki – he barely stifles a sob.

On the upside if your relationship is secret then you can’t flaunt your relationship! It’s the reason he doesn’t say anything even after confirming that you two must be dating. As far as everyone else is concerned, all three of you are single.

———

You think you’re doing a great job at keeping your relationship secret! You know you have to be doing a great job. No one has noticed yet! What you don’t know is that literally everybody is aware.

And Saiki’s getting tired of the shenanigans that surround it. At first, he could just ignore everything, but that was before Kaidou found out, then Toritsuka, Saiko, Yumehara, Mera and even Hairo and Nendou! He could stand everything until Teruhashi found out – your relationship seemed to give her fantasies about the possible secret relationship Saiki and Teruhashi “should” have (it’s not going to happen).

While he could barely tolerate those antics, it hit a boiling point when you started to use him as an excuse. Someone ask what you were doing with Kuboyasu? Your instant reply is that Saiki had asked you to get something from Kuboyasu. Normally that would be fine, but Kaidou had taken it upon himself to hound Saiki into “giving up on [Name]”, as if Saiki had been interested in the first place.

Approximately half a month had passed, and Saiki swears if you try one more word, he’s going to tell everyone and get it over with. Kuboyasu had been wanting to mention it for a while too, so it shouldn’t cause that big of an issue.

The only good thing was when you finally admitted that you were dating Kuboyasu, and everyone had to put on their best “I’m totally surprised face”.

Spoiler alert: No one was surprised.