#he’s just on a cycle of rebounds…. not healthy at all

[butteryunlikelylady]

it was never my life to live and he didn’t fall for the real me… he fell for an accessory and thought he could just change the label while things stayed the same

[power-chords]

Random post-COVID update: I got infected for the third time right before Thanksgiving and first tested positive 11/22/2022. I was testing consistently negative after a round of Paxlovid + Paxlovid “rebound” by 12/3/2022. I had an episode of post-exertional malaise and joint pain that following weekend which was triggered by going for drinks with friends on a Friday night and then sprinting close to a mile from the Garment District to catch a train at Grand Central. These are common symptoms of PASC (Long COVID) and I was totally flattened and very grateful it was a weekend because I would have been totally nonfunctional at work. My Adderall dose did nothing. All I could do was lie down and watch TV and sleep.

By that Monday I was OK, so I resumed commuting to work. I spoke to a friend of mine who had Long COVID for about eight weeks after his first acute infection and it was bad enough that his doctor didn’t even want him to fly — his symptoms were primarily respiratory. He’s an avid cyclist and in good physical shape. He saw a LC specialist who advised him that most people return to “normal” levels of physical exercise much too soon after acute COVID recovery and that appears to be a major trigger. The major takeaway is that you need 8-10 weeks of strict avoidance of “real” exercise, anything that isn’t walking around, housework, lifting stuff here and there, and ascending short flights of stairs. She sees a lot of LC in people who are young and were otherwise healthy and physically very active, which she doesn’t think is a coincidence. These people are getting sick, returning to hiking and cycling and running as soon as they feel better, and then wham, they get hit with classic LC symptoms. My friend was prescribed several weeks of sustained bed rest which fortunately he could take due to his job, and he made a full recovery from LC. He’s since resumed cycling and has gradually and carefully built himself back up to more or less where he was prior to infection.

So since my own infection and that bout with PEM and Joint Hurty, I have avoided booze (which is an inflammatory) and taken that advice and I have not done anything to get myself seriously sweating and pumping blood and catching my breath. I have also tried to keep my sleeping and eating schedules regular, with less success (lol). I am going to keep it up through the end of January, and per the advice of LC forums and subreddits I have also been supplementing with antihistamines at night and low dose Aspirin and getting plenty of hydration + electrolytes (mostly drinking Gatorade). It is now 1/8/2023 and I have not had any further flares of intense fatigue or joint pain. My experience is purely anecdotal and I can’t confidently say it will work for everybody, but it has definitely been working for me, so I thought I’d put it out there. Just because you feel you are recovered from COVID does not mean you’re out of the woods for Long COVID — do yourself a favor and be extraordinarily gentle with yourself as long as you possibly can.

[rosecrystal]

Hi I’m really going through it so would appreciate your advise/input💕 was basically in a talking stage/situationship for long time long distance. It was so draining for me because he kept continually hurting me but always flipping things on me trying to make it my fault when In reality it was always his fault and doing...he would be very attentive to me, consistent with communication and very nice to me with his words but his behavior told me otherwise...it was like a mind fuck. So now that it’s over, I am depressed and been like this for months. I keep up with self care, eat clean and workout but still feel SO. SAD. I have tried to go on dating apps again and gone on a few dates which went well except for the fact on one of them I was drinking and started crying so hard and talking about the guy to the guy I was on a date with and honestly just feel numb and have cried a lot over it over all these months . I know some girls just go on a hookup spree or just find a rebound but that’s not me and I’ve tired after months and not happy even still with the guy I was going on dates with that treats me well....Do you have any input?

Hello!!! So as a person who in the past also put up with a toxic situationship but is now living her best life after ending things (therefore when I say these things I’m never out of a place “I know better” but out of a “I understand, been there” place),

1. In all cases and situations, it’s always actions over words

2. Long distance can work out if both people work really hard on the relationship and want it equally (me and my bf started out long distance and now live together)

3. You were clearly unhappy with your ex and ended things with him. That means a part of yourself knows how much better you deserve and loves you a lot. Another part of you is still stuck to him because it’s the part that wants to keep repeating a certain dysfunctional cycle that you learned at a young age/doesn’t believe you are worthy of genuine unconditional love. Looks like breaking it off with him might have triggered something in you and that’s what you have to explore, you have to ask yourself a lot of questions, you have to go on memory trips and try to understand whether the dynamics with this guy remind you of any early dynamics with the adult figures in your life. I know I say this always but in 99% of the cases tolerating these toxic situationships is as a result of toxic early dynamics or attachment style issues, and unfortunately they will keep repeating until you get to the root of the issue. Ask yourself why you are still stuck to this guy. Is it love? What would you being in love with someone who hurts you and is all words and no actions imply when it comes to your self love and consideration of self? If not love, is it unhealthy attachment because he reminds you of something? If so, what is it?

4. Since you are clearly yet not over this situationship, you should put a stop on dating without feeling guilty over it. You are not missing out on anything and you have all the time in the world. It is both unfair to you (again shows a lack of self love, forcing things on yourself before you are ready), and unfair to other people who deserve to be met with someone who is over their ex and clear on what the want. Besides, until you solve what is holding you back you will either meet the same person in a different body and repeat another situationship, or if you meet the right person you might fail to recognize them.

5. Working out, eating healthy and being active is great, but it is not enough. You need to add deep self reflection and introspection to the mix, maybe try journaling, meditation, and reading books (and I don’t mean the cheesy self help ones but try going for something that speaks about/reflects some of your findings on yourself after you’ve done some introspection, a good book can in itself be an introspection tool).

6. You shouldn’t see your feelings on this situation as a problem to solve but rather a door that can help you understand where certain issues lie. It is an opportunity so feel, trace back your feelings, analyze. And don’t try to hide from yourself. Use this period to put in the work and everything else will naturally flow. You don’t need a rebound, not a hookup spree, you merely need to get in touch with yourself.

Wishing you luck and a steady path to self love! 💕

[charlottecowper]

Journal 8 Part one - 20/07

One of my biggest destructive behaviours that has been prevalent throughout my whole life is how abusive I can become. It’s something that I’ve been the most ashamed of when it comes to my dark side and has caused the most hurt to other people. 

I remember being a child and when I wouldn’t get my own way I would cry, scream, and shout. I would instigate fights with my brother and play victim when he would retaliate. I would manipulate and lie, and steal without caring or thinking about consequences.

This side of me has mostly ever been seen by the people closest to me, although in my teenage years I did still lie to friends, and steal from them, and I became someone that nobody could trust. 

Things did improve with me as I transitioned into adulthood, and my need to lie and steal declined and by the time I was around 22, I had stopped lying and stealing altogether. What I was still left with though was my ability to manipulate, and to get outwardly frustrated or angry if I didn’t get what I wanted. When I entered into the relationship with my second partner, I had all my needs met for around 6 months, and then she went back to uni after summer break and had less time that she could spend with me. I had a very fragile sense of self and my need for external validation and love was so important to me that I would manipulate to get what I wanted. I knew where the cracks were and how to get people to feel sorry for me. I was in a cycle of victim mentality, but with a huge desire to love and to be loved. I would lash out verbally if I didn’t get my needs met and put so much blame onto her for not being able to do what I wanted her to do. I know that she loved me and that she tried to see the best in me, and it was down to that love that I eventually let her go so that I could try and become a better person. I carried an enormous amount of guilt for years during and after that relationship, but I did realise later on in life that we weren’t compatible anyway as she wanted children and I don’t. 

I made the mistake of getting into a rebound relationship at exactly the same time that I let Ashley go as I wasn’t ready to feel all of the pain that would come, and I was still dependent on weed but I knew at that point that I had a big problem with it and wanted to stop. I did however make some other changes and I discovered Meditation, Affirmations, and I set out on a mission to discover what was wrong with me. During this time I became very close to my rebound, and although I knew I wasn’t attracted to her for many different reasons, she was still a really nice person so I pushed for friendship and eventually we were able to be just friends. However, the closer we got, the more my issues started to seep into the friendship and the toxic cycle came back in the same way as my relationship with Ashley. I became horrible, manipulative, we would have physical fights and I was verbally abusive too. I absolutely hated myself to the core for what I had become but I kept trying every single day to do better. After 2 years of this struggle I eventually got my own place and was ready for a fresh start. 

Low and behold I make another mistake… I got into another relationship when I should have been focusing on myself… This relationship was terrible and although my abusive behaviour did come out a lot, it was more retaliation because she was more toxic than I had ever been, but I used the experience to try and work on myself as I knew that the reason why I had attracted this type of person and ignored the red flags was because there was something very wrong with me. I had learned enough at this point about what healthy relationships look like, and by the end of this relationship I did learn that you can’t fix people with love. By the end of this relationship I had learned a lot about myself, albeit, I still hadn’t learned to love myself, but I knew not to ignore the red flags and not to tolerate certain behaviours in people. Thankfully I didn’t love Jade so moving on from her was incredibly easy, although I didn’t realise that the effects of her behaviour would follow me into my next relationship.

[mwolf0epsilon]

Any thoughts on Sammy's and Joey's relationship and how Sammy still has the bad end of the deal despite Joey showing clear signs of infatuation? If you don't know what I mean I would recommend looking at Dreamfisher's subtext posts.

You know Anon, there's something that's always sort of bugged me concerning Sammy and Joey and it's definitely been brought to new light considering the new information. And by that I mean Sammy's long-lived devotion to the Ink Demon, up until Henry was lured into the Cycle.

There's no doubt that Sammy peaked Joey's interest from the moment he lay eyes on the musician. @thedreamfisher 's latest post casts that into light like a blazing spotlight. But with that said it's been nagging on the back of my head that Sammy's existence in the Cycle is rather...Strange.

Sammy's transformation has been a topic of interest of mine before, and I'm pretty sure Joey may have likely noticed something was going on with him thanks to the ink, and that he very likely kept tabs on him to see what came out of his work mixing with Sammy's apparent brilliance. But besides Joey's interest and Sammy's higher durability and abilities to traverse the Ink Portals, there's nothing really remarkable about him. Heck, in Boris and the Dark Survival we're shown that the Ink Demon actively hunts him as if he were any other creature in the studio... So why is he so loyal to the thing that'd kill him in a heartbeat? What purpose does Sammy really serve to the Cycle?

Upon further consideration that Joey likely had a soft spot for Sammy as some sort of rebound relationship after Henry left... It seems to me like the one thing that kept that devotion going might have been Joey himself influencing the demon somehow.

I see Joey and the Ink Demon as seperate entities, but there is still a connection there. Maybe Joey has more influence over it than he'd like to admit (as he despises it due to the demon coming out wrong), but the fact stands that Sammy saw the demon as a benevolent entity if he appeased it with offerings, meaning that Sammy likely got a free pass if he just found something else for the Ink Demon to consume in his place (earning him a spot on Tom's and Allison's shit-lists, but also respect from those Sammy took in under his proverbial wing).

How is this Joey's doing? Well, it's just a pull of the strings to keep one of his favourite toys from getting broken by a particularly destructive pet. However that all flies out the window once Henry is in the spotlight instead.

Makes sense that Sammy would somewhat thrive in the Cycle for as long as he was Joey's favourite. Thus keeping the Ink Demon's devotee eager to please his Lord by selecting and offering him meager morsels like the non-believers. With Henry back in Joey's clutches however, Sammy's no longer considered important. He's yesterday's news, so he's chosen to be slain rather than spared. And this shatters Sammy's spirit enough that he goes completely off the rails and hallucinates the Ink Demon in Henry's place in Chapter 5. Where being chased before was acceptable because he'd failed to procure an offering for his Lord, getting mercilessly ripped apart when he'd done as he was "told" helped to break whatever hope of freedom he had.

In essence, Sammy loses faith in Joey and Henry ends up the target of that contempt. A nice allegory to Joey being a gay disaster that's very bad at having healthy relationships.

[redbirdbella]

@clintasha-week Day 4 - AU

The first thing Clint did after Bobbi asked for a divorce was buy a 24-hour gym membership. It wasn't what he imagined he'd do after he found out his wife was cheating on him, but then he hadn't expected his wife to cheat on him. He didn't think Phil would understand exactly what had convinced him to buy it. It wasn't like there was a guide to this thing, Divorce 101 the dummies guide to learning how to live when your wife's been boning another man, but still being a member of Fab Fun Fitness wasn't exactly helping with the self-hatred.

In the spirit of making lemonade out of lemons, he decided to try at least once before he sacked the whole thing in and brought something more cliché like a motorbike instead.

So he books a class, for the next day, at night. At 1 am.

Soul cycle with Natasha. It better not be a cult.

*******************************************************************************************

He's the only one to turn up, so if it is a cult they really need to work on their attendance issues. The instructor's nice with a dry sense of humour that Clint really sympathizes with. They talk and talk, and talk some more and only end up completing half of the class but she picks out the hardest tracks to make up for it. It's nice though, not a bad lemonade from the lemons he's been given. He even forgets about Bobbi and her stupid high flying new boyfriend as the ache in his legs builds. But it doesn't last, the next morning her lawyer's paperwork is on the doormat.

It makes it as far as the kitchen but not far enough to actually be opened.

He books again, in two days time and again for the two days after that. Routine is important for survival and right now it's the best he can hope for.

******************************************************************************************* Natasha doesn't ask questions. She either doesn't care enough or she's done this long enough to be discreet about why a grown man comes to her class at 1 am. He isn't even sure he wants to find out but Clint Barton's preservation skills have never exactly been great.

"Does it ever creep you out that I keep coming to your class at 1 am?"

She grins "Well I've seen you in the gym in the day time so I know you're not a vampire. Is there anything else I should be worried about?"

"Hmmm, I could be a vampire with just a killer sun-screen"

She laughs and Clint finds he likes it. A little bit too much.

"Well I'm a certified kickboxing instructor so I wouldn't try anything"

"Noted"

"But to answer your question, no the people who tend to come here seem to be too busy trying to escape something to pay much attention to me and I like it that way"

"Why do you even do a class at 1 am?"

"Well I'm single, live alone and I'm contractually obligated to a class every 4 hours. Last one was at 10 the next at 5. It works. For me and for the company"

"No one special in your life"

"Not any more, divorced young, married even younger."

"Oh," Clint says and he hopes it comes out as comforting as he means it. She doesn't have the tan line on her fourth finger through, he notes. Not like he does.  

"Don't worry it was a military spur of the moment thing. Doomed from the start, I'm over it"

Clint sighs, "Me too. Well kinda, married at 22 divorced by 24, well I will be soon enough"

"I'm sorry to hear that"

"Not your fault my wife tripped and fell on her boss's dick."

"Oh"

"Yeah"

"It gets easier, eventually, I can promise you that"

"I know. I just- I don't want easier. I want my life back"

Natasha nods "We don't have to do the class-"

"No, I want to. It helps me forget"

"I can understand that," She says before pressing play on tonight's setlist, "Right tonight's class is a real calorie burner!"

******************************************************************************************* He signs the papers, begrudgingly, after 5 months of fighting (but at least now the next time she decides to screw around she won't be cheating even if it still feels like it is). He heads to the gym every day. He's somewhat of an addict. A good one cause this is exercise and that's healthy and so he's healthy.

He's doing well. The results of the gym are really paying off. He's looking good, feeling confident. He even flirts a little with the receptionist and pretty girls at bars who don't seem to mind how rusty he is. (They stay in the bars though the pretty girls in nice dresses, they never make it home to the white walls and the dirty sink. He isn't doing that well). No one notices if he's a little stiff and tired after his 10th work out that week.

Except Natasha. Natasha notices.

"Where's the bikes, Natasha?"

"Didn't think you needed them. You worked out earlier and had that class with Sophia. That's it. Your welcome to stay though"

"What is this?! an intervention?!"

"If you want to call it that"

"Look I don't pay you to tell me off, I pay to be able to work out"

"You don't pay me anything, Mr Barton. Fab Fun Fitness pay my wages. I work here. I'm contracted to be here 25 hours a week. You shouldn't be here more than I am"

"Why are you doing this?"

"Cause I don't think anyone else cares enough to tell you no"

"Rich, from the woman who works nights cause she's got nothing better to do!"

"Don't! Just don't! I liked you! 3 weeks ago my contract changed I don't have to do this class"

"Good then don't!"

He finds the treadmill. It's not the same but he's mad. He sprints flat out until his lungs can't take it until he can hear his heartbeat pulsing in his head. He regrets it. All of it. Signing the papers, letting her go, taking it out on Natasha. Natasha who had been so good to him. Natasha who he had ruined everything with. Whatever everything means.

She's still in the studio when he goes back, tail between his legs.

"I'm sorry."

"It's ok, I've been there."

"It's not"

"Your right, it's not. But as a first-time offence, I'm sure you'll work to get back into my good books"

"I promise"

"Promise me you'll see someone. It helps, it really does. before you get hurt"

"I'll try."

"Good. Now go home, and I'll see you on Wednesday Mr Barton"

******************************************************************************************* He sees someone. A nice man named Daniel. In a nice house, with a chair that's been worn slightly too soft and where the heatings a little high. It's cosy. The sort of thing he imagines retiring to with Bobbi, or he did 6 months ago.  

They talk things through. He resolves Clint of some of the blame and addresses where he could change. It takes time but he has nothing but time, all his plans dissolved with the divorce. It does get easier.

Natasha still runs her class at 1 am though he no longer has to book. She's just there in the studio when he turns up. It's not just soul cycle anymore, she just picks one of her classes and they do it. Kickboxing, HIIT, CrossFit, she gets out all the weights and toys the gym has to offer. He draws the line at Zumba but she still ropes him into dancing. He barely minds but he prefers Yoga with her. She makes it easy, they both laugh, and she has a bit of eye candy too. Come on he's deaf, not blind and she's freaking gorgeous. And Funny. And Clever. And Kind. And just perfect.

So he might like her. No big deal, if only he'd had his obligatory rebound. It is not worth wasting what they have. He doesn't even know if she likes him, but he likes the odds. So he bides his time waiting for the rebound, but one month becomes two and eventually, Natasha decides to make a move.

"Do you want to go for drinks tomorrow?" She says with a coy smile after one session.

"Don't you have a class?"

She smiles "I got a promotion. I'm the new daytime shift supervisor"

"Congratulations"

"So this is my last session at 1 am, but I want to keep seeing you"

"Like a date?"

"Yeah, like a date. Like this but maybe we can get up to a different sort of exercise"

"Natasha. I want to keep seeing you. I just. I'm not good at this. And I need a rebound to get everything out of my system."

"I can help with that"

"I don't want you to be a rebound."

"Don't act like we haven't been seeing each other for 2 months. You haven't screwed it up yet."

"Ok, one date, I want to see where this goes"  

She grins leaning in close pressing her lips against his.

"It's a date. Let's see how you scrub up Mr Barton"

[renee-writer]

Late Chapter 17 Will They Stay?

A month after their wedding, Claire finds time to talk to her daughter. She has been holed up in the croft with Roger for most of that time.

“My baby brother has grown.” She lifts the sleeping baby” tightly swaddled, into her arms.

“Yes they tend to. Motherhood is both time rushing past and each hour lasting a lifetime. At the same time.” She smiles as Bree rocks her baby brother against her chest. “I was terrified when I realized I was pregnant. For the baby. For myself. But now that he is here healthy and I am alright, well, the chance to do it again, with Jamie; it is a blessing.”

“It is.” She smiles down at the sleeping baby. “To get a chance to hold my brother. See him. Know that there is more of my kin in the world. That you and da won't..”

Claire sits swiftly down on the rocker she had been standing by. She clings to the arms carved with roses and thistles, a gift Jamie made at learning of Sloan’s coming.

“So, you are leaving then?”

“We have discussed it. You've Sloan, Marsili, Fergus, Germain. Da. It is our time. Our place.”

“All true. But Bree, I would miss you terribly.”

“I would miss you too momma. You, da, Sloan, well everyone. We are still talking. Haven't decided yet.”

“But, leaning that way.” She nods before turning alarmingly pale. She hands Sloan back to his mam and turns, running towards the front door. She runs into Roger and Jamie, returning from seeing to the animals. Roger catches her.

“Love what?” She manages to push past him and is violently sick by the porch. Claire is there handing Sloan to Jamie and reaching for Bree.

“I am okay.” She leans quickly against her. She gets her sat down as her concerned husband and father hover. Claire takes her pulse. “It was strange, came on suddenly.”

“Is she alright Sassanech?”

“I need to exam her.” She is lead back in her momma's surgery. The men wait anxiously outside. “Bree, when was your last cycle?” asked as she carefully palpates her stomach. No rebound tenderness or guarding, thank God.

“Before the wedding. God, two weeks before.”

“So you are two weeks late.”

“Yes! I am pregnant, right?”

“I would say so. Congratulations.”

“I am not sure what I feel. We discussed going back, finishing school before we started.. Now, can I, being pregnant?”

“I did with you.” Said in a no nonsense tune. She doesn’twant to influence her but she really wants her to stay.

“I need to tell Roger.”

“I will lead him in.” She steps out and meets a pacing Roger and Jamie, still holding tight to Sloan. “Bree needs to tell you something.” He hurries in.

“Sassanech, is our daughter alright?”

“She is. She is just pregnant.”

“Ah Dhai!”

[pitviperofdoom]

Fundraiser Commission #3

Thank you for donating $20!

Prompt: “...can I get a commission from pitviperofdoom for a sequel/one shot to her fic burn and breathe? Maybe when Izuku gets hurt badly and Shouto is feeling the pain but really worried about Izuku and is trying to get to Him?  Thanks!”

Burn and Breathe

Hey, guys! Sorry it’s been taking so long to get these out, I got more $20 commissions than I expected. I have six more in the works as we speak. Thank you all for your patience!

-----------------

He types out the message on a whim on the first day, riding on a wave of boldness, and hits the ‘send’ button before it can wear off.

Izuku: Maybe you shouldn’t have picked your dad’s agency for this.

It may be overstepping—it’s probably overstepping—but Izuku can’t help but say something. Gran Torino’s training has left him stiff and sore, with prolonged quirk use and countless wall collisions on top of the usual ache of exercise. He’s trying to decide whether it’s better or worse than the months he spent cleaning up Dagobah, but it’s almost impossible when he has an entirely separate section of pain that, technically, isn’t even his.

Izuku can separate the two enough to know that, as tired and tender as he feels after today, whatever Todoroki went through was even worse.

They haven’t spoken much since the Sports Festival. Izuku just hasn’t known what to say to him. He said everything he wanted—more than he wanted—after the festival ended and he caught Todoroki trying to slip away unnoticed. He had a lot built up inside him, and finally letting it all out had been terrifying and cathartic and mortifying and, more than anything, the greatest relief of his life. He thought—hoped?—that Todoroki felt the same.

Since then, they have exchanged phone numbers but not much else. Izuku gets the feeling that Todoroki doesn’t know where to go from here any more than he does.

His phone chimes. There’s a reply.

Todoroki-kun: You’re one to talk.

Izuku purses his lips thoughtfully. It’s true that he hurts, but he still feels that it’s different. For one thing, he knows very well what burns feel like. Gran Torino may not have the kind of quirk that can be used directly against someone, but Izuku’s pretty sure the old man wouldn’t even if he did.

But it’s not just the aftermath. Izuku has been feeling Todoroki’s pain all day. He’s felt it his entire life, and today’s pain has been no different from any other day—last week, last year, all the way back to when they were five years old.

That’s wrong, he thinks. That shouldn’t happen.

He sends another message before he can lose his nerve.

Izuku: It’s a cycle, isn’t it. Or, not a cycle. It just keeps going.

The little pen icon indicating that Todoroki is typing a reply blinks in an out for a while. In the end, all Todoroki sends is a question mark.

Izuku sits crosslegged on his mattress, bent over his phone as he tries to put his thoughts into words.

Izuku: It’s almost normal at first, just rougher. But it keeps going and going until you can’t go anymore.

Izuku: It stops, because you stop. But it keeps going because he won’t let you stop.

Izuku: It just keeps going until you can’t go anymore, and then it goes further.

He pauses, stomach turning as he waits for a reply, but Todoroki doesn’t seem to be typing one.

Izuku: It feels like you train until you drop, right? And then you get up again and keep going until you drop, and then you get up again. You never take a break. You just get up again and again until it’s nighttime.

The pen icon appears again. Todoroki replies.

Todoroki-kun: That’s how it goes. That’s how it’s always gone. I knew what I was getting into, when I chose this.

Izuku frowns.

Izuku: That’s not good for you. That’s not healthy.

Todoroki-kun: Unfortunately, it’s the reason why I’m as strong as I am.

As he reads it, Izuku grips his phone so hard his knuckles creak.

Izuku: No, don’t you get it?

His hands shake with anger as he replies, because he spent ten months discussing rigorous health plans and schedules and nutrition to get himself to a point where One For All wouldn’t blow him apart when it passed to him, and he likes to think he learned a few things.

Izuku: That’s the worst way to train yourself. Strength training is just causing damage to your muscles so that it heals with stronger tissue. If you don’t let yourself heal enough, then you’ll just do more damage to yourself.

He sends the message and then regrets it, because the way he phrased it made it sound like Todoroki is doing this to himself, like he’s choosing to do this instead of being forced.

Todoroki’s reply comes quickly.

Todoroki-kun: Don’t worry about that. The old man’s plan is to shape me into the perfect hero, remember? He won’t accomplish that by damaging me.

In a twisted way, that should be comforting. Endeavor hurts Todoroki, obviously. He’s been hurting him for years, and Izuku has felt the pain alongside him since they were small. But more than anything, Endeavor wants him to be powerful. Endeavor wants him to be perfect. Hurting Todoroki beyond repair would be counter productive.

And yet…

Izuku: That’s what he wants to do, but that doesn’t mean it’s going to work.

The pen icon appears, then disappears. Izuku swallows against the lump of dread sitting at the base of his throat.

Izuku: Just because he doesn’t want to damage you too much, doesn’t mean he won’t do it by accident.

Izuku: Just because he wants to train you to be the perfect hero, doesn’t mean he’s going to be good at it.

He falls asleep waiting for an answer.

---

The clock strikes two in the morning, and Izuku picks him up off the grimy alley ground again.

“Attempt number twelve,” he murmurs to himself, then hurls himself at the alley wall. He clumsily rebounds off of it, misjudges the power he puts into his jump, and slams into the opposite wall. The garbage bags at the bottom feel less and less soft every time he lands in them.

The phone in his pocket buzzes with a new message from Todoroki.

Todoroki-kun: GO THE FUCK TO SLEEP

Izuku cringes, shoves it back in his pocket, and calls it a night.

---

Shouto manages to claw together a manageable night’s worth of sleep, in spite of Midoriya’s apparent determination to prevent that. He has no idea what his classmate (soulmate, still getting used to that) was doing at one in the morning, but it felt an awful lot like he was trying to put himself through a crash-course in parkour, and failing. Shouto had been drifting off after a hard day of preliminary training, only to be woken up up by a spontaneous bloody nose, followed by bruises blooming at different points of his body.

Fortunately, the pain through the bond is noticeably dialed back today. There are still a few bumps and bruises here and there, but they’re hardly a bother. Shouto felt worse from him when they were six years old.

It’s not until late into the afternoon, when Endeavor is on his way to Hosu for a full evening of hunting down the Hero Killer, that Shouto gets the chance to pull out his phone. He has no way of knowing whether or not Midoriya is free, but it wouldn’t hurt to check in.

His thumb hovers over Iida’s name in his contacts, just for a moment. Iida looked troubled, the last time Shouto saw him, and part of Shouto wants to pursue that concern. But he and Iida aren’t friends. They’ve collaborated before, but he isn’t friends with Iida, not the way Midoriya and Uraraka are. And besides, he saw them talking to him at the start of the week, so they probably have it handled.

He shakes his head and sends a text to Midoriya.

Todoroki Shouto: What were you doing last night? Was your supervisor really training you at that hour?

He’s almost surprised when Midoriya actually answers.

Midoriya: No, I was doing it on my own. I’m really sorry, Todoroki, I forgot that it would affect you. Did you have trouble sleeping?

Shouto: I was fine. What were you doing?

Midoriya: Figuring out my control of my quirk. I actually kind of hit a breakthrough!

Shouto: Oh, I thought so.

Midoriya: You did?

Shouto shoots a quick glance around to make sure that no one is looking, before he allows himself a small smile.

Shouto: You haven’t been hurting as much today.

Shouto: I’m glad.

It’s only when the messages are already sent that he remembers this morning’s training, and he tries to swallow the sudden surge of guilt. This morning was every bit as grueling as Shouto’s mornings have ever been, and the afternoon was hardly any better. He hasn’t lessened Midoriya’s pain at all.

His traitorous brain reminds him that there were a lot of good names on his long list of nominations. One of them was Edgeshot. Edgeshot probably wouldn’t have spent the past few days beating him into the ground.

He waits, but Midoriya doesn’t reply again before they reach their destination and Shouto finds himself under Endeavor’s watchful eye again. Biting down a sigh, he slips his phone into a pouch and follows Endeavor out to start patrolling.

Hours later, when night has fallen and the city streets spill over with chaos and screaming, a message from Midoriya comes through. Shouto checks it; it’s not a text message, just a location. His heart leaps to his throat because Midoriya’s here, in Hosu, caught in the middle of the frantic evacuations and invading Noumu.

He’s somewhere in a city that’s under attack, and he’s just sent Shouto his location.

He’s in trouble. The realization hits him only a split second before he feels the cold sting of a blade in his leg.

Shouto turns and sprints back toward the darker side streets away from the chaos, deaf to his father’s indignant shouting.

---

---

It’s not until Tsuragamae has left the room that Todoroki sits down. Izuku lets out a sigh of relief, relaxing now that there’s no danger of his soulmate further insulting the Hosu Chief of Police.

“Don’t scare me like that,” he says, nervously half-joking. “For a second I thought you were going to punch him or something.”

The light laughter dies quickly when he realizes that Todoroki isn’t listening or looking at him. He’s sitting on his cot with his knees drawn up, curling in on himself like an insect hiding in its shell.

“…Todoroki?”

His arm still hurts. Todoroki’s arm, that is, though that means Izuku’s arm hurts, too. The ache of a half-healed stab wound, dulled by painkillers but still present, runs between them like a wire. Todoroki’s arm and left cheek. Izuku’s sprained wrist, the hairline fracture in his leg, the bruises from gripping claws and the whiplash in his neck from being caught in free-fall.

Izuku makes his way across to Todoroki’s bed to sit beside him. Briefly he meets Iida’s eyes from across the room. His friend averts his head and rises from his cot.

“I’m going to see about going to the restroom,” he says quietly, and leaves to give them the privacy their situation needs.

He was in the same alley they were, after all. When the knife grazed Todoroki’s face and a twin of the cut opened on Izuku’s face, Iida saw it.

Stain saw it, too.

Todoroki’s bandaged arm keeps drawing his eyes. Phantom sensations return to him full force. He remembers hot sting of Stain’s knife slicing into it. The villain had been fighting Izuku when he threw it and hit Todoroki on the other side of the alley. Cruel, but effective. The pain through the soulmate bond threw Izuku off balance, and Stain was quick to lap the blood that leaked through Izuku’s sleeve.

It was the same arm he carved into himself, back when he was twelve and Endeavor wouldn’t stop making his soulmate bleed.

“Todoroki,” Izuku says softly.

“If I’d dodged that knife,” Todoroki says softly.

“Todoroki, it’s okay—”

“I should have dodged the knife,” Todoroki says, without raising his head from his arms. “It’s not even the worst thing that’s ever been thrown at me. I should have dodged it.”

“I don’t know about that,” Izuku says. “But we’re all still here, right? We’re all alive, and we’re okay—I hardly even broke any bones this time. You know me. I can’t do anything interesting without breaking bones.”

Todoroki lets out a short bark of laughter, and slowly starts to uncurl. “I kind of hated you for it.”

There’s no real bite behind it, so Izuku decides not to take it personally. “That’s fair.”

His soulmate raises his head, and Izuku can see his eyes again. They’re not angry eyes anymore; it seems Todoroki spent all his furious energy shouting at Tsuragamae. Now he just looks tired and scared.

He looks a lot like how Izuku imagined his soulmate would look, back before they met and all Izuku knew about him was how much pain he felt every day.

“Thought I was gonna watch you die,” Todoroki says bluntly.

“Todoroki—”

“It was just for a second,” Todoroki says. “I thought—you know, I always thought our fight in the Sports Festival, and whatever you did at the entrance exam—I thought that was the worst I’d ever feel from you. But then I saw you there, with Stain, and I realized it could always be worse.”

“I’m sorry,” Izuku answers in a rough whisper. “I want to promise you it won’t happen again, but…”

“But we’re going to be heroes,” Todoroki finishes for him.

“Yeah.” Izuku lets his hand rest on the mattress between them, turning it over so his palm faces upward. The offer is there, and he can tell by the line of Todoroki’s sight that he sees it, but he doesn’t take it. “Thanks for showing up. That’s never happened to me before.”

Todoroki blinks. “What?”

“Me, asking for help,” Izuku says. “Somebody answering.”

“Oh.” The hardness behind Todoroki’s eyes cracks. “Well, it’s not like I could ignore it. At least I knew where you were, this time.”

“Yeah, that is nice, isn’t it?”

“And it’s easier to stop someone else from hurting you, than it is to stop you from hurting yourself,” Todoroki says. “Even if I’m still not as strong as I could be. I still have to train.”

Izuku takes a deep breath. His hand doesn’t move. “I promised before that I’d get stronger, so I wouldn’t have to hurt you anymore. I’m not going to take that back.”

“Good.”

“But—” Izuku goes on before he could lose his nerve. “You have to do the same, okay?”

Todoroki closes his eyes. “Midoriya—”

“You can’t convince me there’s anything you can learn from Endeavor that you can’t learn from someone who won’t hurt you like that,” Izuku says hotly. “And even if I’m wrong, is he really the example you want to follow?”

“It’s not that simple—”

“Just because something is unpleasant doesn’t mean it’s good for you,” Izuku cuts him off. “Just because you’re in pain doesn’t mean it means anything. It doesn’t mean you’re learning anything. It just hurts. And if you keep going back to something that hurts you when you have so many other choices, then how is that any different just hurting yourself?”

Todoroki curls back into his protective shell, hiding his face again.

The anger ebbs all at once, leaving Izuku with stinging, watering eyes. “I’m sorry,” he says. “I’m not mad at you, or anything. And I’m not—I’m not going to leave, because I care about you, and I’ve always cared about you since before I knew who you were. I just… all I’ve ever wanted was for you to stop hurting so much.” He swallows hard. “So I’m trying not to hurt myself, so you won’t have to feel it. But… I need you to try, too, okay? It’s okay if you can’t do it, I just want you to try. That’s all I ask.”

Instead of answering, Todoroki frees one arm, lowers his hand, and slides it over Izuku’s waiting palm. Izuku curls his fingers over it before his soulmate can change his mind, and Todoroki squeezes back. His heart swells until it feels like his chest just isn’t big enough to fit it anymore.

I love you, he thinks, but doesn’t say. Not yet.

One day, maybe. But they have a long way to go until then, and for now, this is enough.

[asking-jude]

I've been sort of in love with friend A for about a year but he's acting weird - when we're together, he acts like he cares about me (friend/more, idk) but then when I message him, he barely replies. He does that to most people. It makes me feel really unwanted tho, even as a friend, I told him and nothing changed. But. I started dating friend B and I do really care about him. BUT I can't move past A even tho he "ignores" me and B is so lovely to me. What do I do?

Hi there,

Thank you for reaching out to Asking Jude. It sounds like friend A is playing the hot and cold game, which can be quite frustrating, and you’re definitely not alone. Friend A makes you feel wanted and cherished when you’re together, but very cold and lonely when you’re apart. This is not your fault. Often, people who engage in this sort of behavior are very vulnerable themselves and use this as a safety net. Being warm creates attachment, and then the coldness warrants longing and yearning for the next meeting.

This is not healthy, as friend A might be using this as a way to have emotional and psychological control. We are wired to automatically chase and crave affection when it is taken away from us, so some people use it as a defense mechanism to draw people closer to them, whether intentionally or otherwise. 

Relationships are scary. People are essentially handing over their heart to another person, and often, several insecurities stem from this. People are uncertain, vulnerable, and most likely too afraid to admit that a relationship is real, which is what causes such games. The best thing you can do is recognize what’s happening, communicate to friend A about what you feel, and stop this cycle from continuing. You deserve better.

Alternately, giving friend A the benefit of the doubt, maybe he is not that great at communicating through the phone. You mentioned that he gives the same treatment to everyone, so maybe it’s not you or your relationship specifically that he’s treating this way. However, relationships are all about compromises. If you communicate to him about how you feel (which it seems like you have), and he’s still not changing, then it all goes back to wanting that control over you, and you should try not to enable that behavior.

Here are two articles that might explain it more: 

https://www.huffpost.com/entry/the-dating-game-of-hot-and-cold_b_7093446 

https://herway.net/relationship/blowing-hot-and-cold-the-psychology-behind-the-dating-game/

A relationship is a two way street. Both partners should make each feel wanted, loved, and more supported than they would have been alone. If a person is only keeping you around for when it suits him, then that relationship is not real. I would suggest you take a break from person A. It sounds like you’re feeling loved and content with friend B, so stick with him and try to move on from friend A. However, you need to make sure that friend B is not just a rebound, as you might hurt one or both people in the process.

At the end of the day, your happiness is your own, and shouldn’t lie in the hands of any one person. Wanting to please one person and bending to their will in order to earn some love in return is not healthy. However, wanting human connection is natural, and only you have the power of deciding who makes you feel the most loved and who gets to be your partner. 

Hope this helped.

Wishing you all the best,

Manisha

Asking Jude needs YOUR help! Donate pocket change here and save our safe space.

[obsessivescribbler]

how to get over any guy, the right way.

Most of my preteen years, I wasn’t like other girls around me. I didn’t play a sport, I didn’t cheer, and I wasn’t interested in One Direction. But the main thing that set me apart was that I wasn’t boy-obsessed. I observed my friends going out of their way to grab someone’s attention or wait impatiently for a text. After watching them shoot many gazes across the cafeteria, I began to wonder what was wrong with me. Why wasn’t I doing this? Or even compelled to do this?

             As I entered high school, these girls I hung out with got more confident and began going on dates. They put effort into their appearances at school, went to parties, and gushed over how perfect a guy was. Many ‘boyfriend appreciation posts’ went up on social media. Weeks (sometimes months if they were lucky) went by, and then one day they showed up at school with mascara running. The guy was gone. The pictures came off Instagram, and selfies with forlorn faces and captions took their place. I comforted them as best I could.

             They sulked a little longer.

             And then the next week they were with someone else.

             Why?

             Now before I answer I should probably explain what I was doing if I wasn’t on the cheer squad, partying, or going on dates. How could I possibly fill my time?

             I was at the theater.

             Since age eight I had a passion to perform, and a need to make people laugh. My parents recognized that and threw me into the little theater down the street. I’m forever grateful for that. My time was invested there. And if I could count all 12 years of football games, movie premieres, and parties I missed because I had rehearsal, I’d have a whole other lifetime of experiences.

             I approached my mom about this cycle my friends were caught in. I asked why they jumped from guy to guy without a second thought. How could they mend their hearts so quickly and so frequently? She chuckled to herself but didn’t answer.

             A few years later when I got a boyfriend, I was determined that this wouldn’t happen to me. At fifteen I think it’s safe to say we were young and stupid. So, when he broke up with me, (better put, ‘ghosted me’) I was obviously heartbroken. What do you think I did?

             I got up, cut my hair (because that’s just what you do), and auditioned for a show.  

             A year or so later, I found someone else who was better than the last. We dated (for a long time, at that) and then he broke my heart in two. Harder than the last time. What did I do?

             I got up, cut my hair, and stage managed an all-male cast of Twelfth Night.

             I hope you notice the difference in my breakup approach as compared to my peers. (Hint: I didn’t run out and find someone else a week later. Why?)

             The best way I can explain it is this: Girls who jump from boy to boy (or man to man) and rebound fast are trying to find themselves. They don’t know who they are, so they try to find it in others. In short, men become their hobby. When you see girls showing signs of boy-obsession, girls who are constantly wondering ‘what’s wrong with them’ or why they’re getting dumped, bring them here. There is a reason.

             You need to learn to love yourself before you love anyone else.

             You need to learn to invest in yourself before you invest in someone else.

             When I say invest, I mean you need to find a hobby just for you. Something that empowers you. Something you’re good at. Find friends that enjoy that hobby too and build relationships with them through it. Whether it’s art, sports, music, or science, find the foundation of your creativity.

             People aren’t reliable. People can’t be there for you 24/7, even if they say otherwise. The activities that fuel you will help you regain balance when a relationship fails.

             Not only will busyness keep your mind off heartbreak, but it will remind you of who you are and what you can create. Pain is an incredibly effective motivator. It will remind you that there is something they haven’t taken away, and never can. That there’s something you are reliant on simply because you supply it yourself.

             Every time I got my heart broken, I’ve thrown myself into art and my church. Those things made me different. Theatre became my lifeline. Because even if I didn’t feel up to doing it, I knew I was good at it before and during the previous relationship, so I could be good at it after. I probably wouldn’t be alive without theatre. When depression sets in and you can just show up to create and no one is interested in anything but the show they put on, your problems seem smaller. It lets you wrestle yourself. It lets you grow. It’s thanks to art that I emerged from those situations ready to love again.

             I got broken up with during a show (during tech week, a most stressful time) after thinking I’d eventually marry this person. My mentor happened to be the stage manager of this show, and she could read me like a book. She let me sit in the booth by myself for a while, to reflect and cry without prying eyes. When I emerged, she said something I’ll never forget:

             “Every time my heart breaks, I pick myself up, and think about how lucky I am that I get to do it all over again.”

             It only made sense to me after I conquered the depression that followed that experience. I realized being committed to something I loved made me attractive and desirable to myself and others.

             To close I’d like to say…

             If you don’t know yourself, you can’t know someone else in a romantic way and expect it to last. Being in a relationship is hard enough. It’s crippling even when both people are perfectly right for each other. Bearing your soul to another person with self-esteem issues isn’t healthy for you or the other person. Be grounded, then seek out healthy people who are grounded in the same ways. Then you start from a solid place and can grow together.

             Find someone who understands that spending time with your hobby makes you exactly who you were meant to be. Find someone who has something they love, and BE INTERESTED IN IT. And don’t be mad if they want to do it without you. It’s probably not personal. If you can find someone who respects your space and your time for your art, you’ve got a good thing going.

             So, if you end up alone again, you have a soft place to land. And a way to cope.

             You’ll be happy to know I conquered my wounds from the past relationship and have moved on to someone better. He knows and understands that sometimes I must be at rehearsal and can’t hang out with him. He understands it isn’t purposeful if I’m late or forgetful. He understands that I share a love for myself and my art. And he always comes out and supports me opening night.

             It’s never hopeless. You will get better.

Copyright 2020 

[orbemnews]

When a market bubble isn't the end of the story What’s happening: The S&P 500 remains just below its all-time high, while the cryptocurrency ethereum notched a new record on Tuesday, jumping above $3,400. That may seem like good reason for investors to consider taking money off the table, avoiding heavy exposure to a potential crash. But in new research, JPMorgan explores a different approach: What if investors choose to invest in bubbles, and not around them? To bolster this argument, strategist John Normand makes a few key points. First, he notes that extreme valuations are fairly common — though more so for stocks and commodities than for bonds — and can sometimes last for “many years.” Second, he writes that “80% of expensive markets that crash spectacularly eventually make new all-time highs.” This could allow some investors to argue that they’re not looking at a series of “irrational bubbles.” Instead, some price jumps could just be the result of overexcited investors who are looking at very real prospects for growth, but are getting a bit ahead of themselves. “Markets are always forward-looking and sometimes look too far. This phenomenon creates vulnerability within a business cycle but probably vindication in the next one,” Normand said. One example: I immediately thought of my recent story on clean energy investing, which suffered a huge bust around the Great Recession in 2008 but is now rebounding again. While investors with shorter time horizons were undoubtedly burned, those who kept pumping money into the industry look increasingly well positioned as countries, companies and Wall Street place new emphasis on fighting the climate crisis. This does not, of course, mean that dangerous bubbles don’t form in financial markets, and that everything that drops must rebound again. Normand recommends that investors remain selective. A solid approach, he said, is to prioritize assets with backing from central banks, which have shown a willingness to intervene when markets get choppy. The Federal Reserve has repeatedly provided quick support to the US economy, boosting stocks and bonds and limiting Wall Street’s risks. The central bank is unlikely to do the same for cryptocurrencies. Big picture: If, say, ethereum prices are ultimately a bubble, then, that could lead to a tougher hangover. Bill and Melinda Gates are getting divorced Bill and Melinda Gates are ending their marriage after 27 years, a decision with big implications for philanthropy and global health. The couple, who are among the wealthiest people in the world, founded their philanthropic organization, the Bill and Melinda Gates Foundation, together in 2000. Since then, the organization has spent tens of billions of dollars on initiatives to improve public health and alleviate poverty. The foundation has also been at the center of efforts to fight the Covid-19 pandemic, funneling huge sums of money into testing, treatments and vaccines. Why it matters: News of the divorce has raised questions about the future of the foundation — and the couple’s massive fortune — even as the pair pledged to maintain a professional relationship. “We have raised three incredible children and built a foundation that works all over the world to enable all people to lead healthy, productive lives,” the couple said in a statement on their verified Twitter accounts. “We continue to share a belief in that mission and will continue our work together at the foundation, but we no longer believe we can grow together as a couple in this next phase of our lives.” Why is the divorce a big deal? Just take a look at these numbers: $146 billion: Bill Gates’ net worth. The cofounder of Microsoft is the fourth richest person in the world, according to the Bloomberg Billionaires Index. $54 billion: How much the Bill and Melinda Gates Foundation has donated over two decades. $1.75 billion: The foundation’s commitment to the pandemic response, as of December. Watch this space: Melinda Gates has filed a petition for divorce in King County, Washington. She asked a judge to dissolve the marriage based on the couple’s separation contract. No financial details were included in the publicly available documents. The world’s largest jewelry brand is ditching mined diamonds Copenhagen-based Pandora (PANDY) produces more jewelry than any other company in the world. And on Tuesday, it announced a major change: It won’t use any more mined diamonds in its products. The details: The company said it’s instead shifting toward the use of diamonds created in labs, which it emphasized have the same “optical, chemical, thermal and physical characteristics.” Shares are up 6%. Lab-grown stones have been billed as the ethical, traceable alternative to mined diamonds. They have growing appeal among consumers looking to buy products from sustainable supply chains. Pandora previously announced it will only use recycled gold and silver in its products by 2025. Last year, Tiffany & Co. announced a tracing initiative that allows customers to find out the exact country where stones are cut, polished and set. Pandora targets mainstream buyers, which means diamond sales accounted for just 50,000 pieces of jewelry sold last year out of a total of 85 million. Yet it’s still a significant move from a major player. Watch this space: Pandora is trying to stay ahead of the curve, noting huge growth in demand for lab-made stones. “In the US, and especially in China and India, younger consumers say sustainability is part of their decision-making process and could influence whether they buy diamond jewelry,” Bain & Company pointed out in a report published earlier this year. Up next Corsair Gaming, CVS (CVS), Ferrari (RACE) and Pfizer (PFE) report results before US markets open. Activision Blizzard (ATVI), Caesars Entertainment (CZR), Hyatt (H), Lyft (LYFT) and Zillow (Z) follow after the close. Coming tomorrow: The ADP private payrolls report will serve as an important preview of the April jobs report due Friday. Source link Orbem News #Bubble #investing #isnt #market #Premarketstocks:Whenamarketbubbleisn'ttheendofthestory-CNN #Story

[dipulb3]

When a market bubble isn't the end of the story

New Post has been published on https://appradab.com/when-a-market-bubble-isnt-the-end-of-the-story/

When a market bubble isn't the end of the story

What’s happening: The S&P 500 remains just below its all-time high, while the cryptocurrency ethereum notched a new record on Tuesday, jumping above $3,400.

That may seem like good reason for investors to consider taking money off the table, avoiding heavy exposure to a potential crash. But in new research, JPMorgan explores a different approach: What if investors choose to invest in bubbles, and not around them?

To bolster this argument, strategist John Normand makes a few key points. First, he notes that extreme valuations are fairly common — though more so for stocks and commodities than for bonds — and can sometimes last for “many years.” Second, he writes that “80% of expensive markets that crash spectacularly eventually make new all-time highs.”

This could allow some investors to argue that they’re not looking at a series of “irrational bubbles.” Instead, some price jumps could just be the result of overexcited investors who are looking at very real prospects for growth, but are getting a bit ahead of themselves.

“Markets are always forward-looking and sometimes look too far. This phenomenon creates vulnerability within a business cycle but probably vindication in the next one,” Normand said.

One example: I immediately thought of my recent story on clean energy investing, which suffered a huge bust around the Great Recession in 2008 but is now rebounding again. While investors with shorter time horizons were undoubtedly burned, those who kept pumping money into the industry look increasingly well positioned as countries, companies and Wall Street place new emphasis on fighting the climate crisis.

This does not, of course, mean that dangerous bubbles don’t form in financial markets, and that everything that drops must rebound again.

Normand recommends that investors remain selective.

A solid approach, he said, is to prioritize assets with backing from central banks, which have shown a willingness to intervene when markets get choppy.

The Federal Reserve has repeatedly provided quick support to the US economy, boosting stocks and bonds and limiting Wall Street’s risks. The central bank is unlikely to do the same for cryptocurrencies.

Big picture: If, say, ethereum prices are ultimately a bubble, then, that could lead to a tougher hangover.

Bill and Melinda Gates are getting divorced

Bill and Melinda Gates are ending their marriage after 27 years, a decision with big implications for philanthropy and global health.

The couple, who are among the wealthiest people in the world, founded their philanthropic organization, the Bill and Melinda Gates Foundation, together in 2000. Since then, the organization has spent tens of billions of dollars on initiatives to improve public health and alleviate poverty. The foundation has also been at the center of efforts to fight the Covid-19 pandemic, funneling huge sums of money into testing, treatments and vaccines.

Why it matters: News of the divorce has raised questions about the future of the foundation — and the couple’s massive fortune — even as the pair pledged to maintain a professional relationship.

“We have raised three incredible children and built a foundation that works all over the world to enable all people to lead healthy, productive lives,” the couple said in a statement on their verified Twitter accounts. “We continue to share a belief in that mission and will continue our work together at the foundation, but we no longer believe we can grow together as a couple in this next phase of our lives.”

Why is the divorce a big deal? Just take a look at these numbers:

$146 billion: Bill Gates’ net worth. The cofounder of Microsoft is the fourth richest person in the world, according to the Bloomberg Billionaires Index.

$54 billion: How much the Bill and Melinda Gates Foundation has donated over two decades.

$1.75 billion: The foundation’s commitment to the pandemic response, as of December.

Watch this space: Melinda Gates has filed a petition for divorce in King County, Washington. She asked a judge to dissolve the marriage based on the couple’s separation contract. No financial details were included in the publicly available documents.

The world’s largest jewelry brand is ditching mined diamonds

Copenhagen-based Pandora (PANDY) produces more jewelry than any other company in the world. And on Tuesday, it announced a major change: It won’t use any more mined diamonds in its products.

The details: The company said it’s instead shifting toward the use of diamonds created in labs, which it emphasized have the same “optical, chemical, thermal and physical characteristics.” Shares are up 6%.

Lab-grown stones have been billed as the ethical, traceable alternative to mined diamonds. They have growing appeal among consumers looking to buy products from sustainable supply chains. Pandora previously announced it will only use recycled gold and silver in its products by 2025.

Last year, Tiffany & Co. announced a tracing initiative that allows customers to find out the exact country where stones are cut, polished and set.

Pandora targets mainstream buyers, which means diamond sales accounted for just 50,000 pieces of jewelry sold last year out of a total of 85 million. Yet it’s still a significant move from a major player.

Watch this space: Pandora is trying to stay ahead of the curve, noting huge growth in demand for lab-made stones.

“In the US, and especially in China and India, younger consumers say sustainability is part of their decision-making process and could influence whether they buy diamond jewelry,” Bain & Company pointed out in a report published earlier this year.

Up next

Corsair Gaming, CVS (CVS), Ferrari (RACE) and Pfizer (PFE) report results before US markets open. Activision Blizzard (ATVI), Caesars Entertainment (CZR), Hyatt (H), Lyft (LYFT) and Zillow (Z) follow after the close.

Coming tomorrow: The ADP private payrolls report will serve as an important preview of the April jobs report due Friday.

[weightian]

Is it difficult for you to lose weight? Five reasons why losing weight is so difficult

Eating a balanced, healthy and healthy diet in the long term is much smarter than embarking on weight loss processes every so often

Every day millions of people around the world start their weight loss plan with a common idea: lose weight. However, only a part of them will succeed and the reasons are various. Here we have rounded up five of the reasons we don't lose weight, reasons why it's so difficult to lose weight despite multiple attempts. The first is that people only think short-term. Many embark on miracle diets that promise to shed many pounds in no time. Others just think about getting in shape to a certain date (be it summer, a friend's wedding, etc.) and then forget about their body. But the important thing to lose weight is to take a long-term approach.

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The dreaded rebound effect is the result of most of these short-term processes. For this reason, experts point out that a balanced diet that includes all the food groups is the one that works best in the long term. There are no quick fixes or magic pills: a long-term plan based on healthy lifestyle habits is essential to lose weight. Therefore, they point out that it is much better to lose half a kilo a week for six months (about 12 kilos in total) than to lose the same weight in a month.

The best way to lose weight

Another reason given by experts is that those trying to lose weight have an all or nothing mentality. Amanda Capritto, personal and nutrition expert trainer CNET explains that she went through the same process and, when he wanted to lose weight, eliminated from your diet all processed foods, pasta, dairy products, etc. In his life there was only room for chicken, vegetables and fruits.

Many of the people who seek to lose weight do so betting on all or nothing, instead of looking for balanced diets with all kinds of foods .

But there came a day when he exploded and decided to eat all the chocolate that he had time. The brain did the rest: "If I had ruined my diet, I could eat anything and the next day I would go back to my weight loss process. But that is a destructive cycle and I see it every day in my profession. That kind of all or all mentality. nothing can cause an infinite cycle of losing weight-gain weight-lose weight in which we will be trapped. " The third point on this list is sport, since it is believed that exercise can do anything . It is true that sport is important for a healthy and healthy lifestyle, but it is very difficult to lose weight based only on sport. And there is a phrase that summarizes that concept very graphically: "Abs are done in the kitchen, not in the gym."

Sport is very important to lose weight in the long term, but not the only way to achieve it (Photo: Pixabay)It is proven that sport helps you lose weight and provides other benefits to the body, but fewer calories are burned with exercise than are believed. For this reason, it is important to control the diet so that, at the end of the day, there is a caloric deficit between what is eaten and what is consumed. Only then will it be possible to lose weight in the long term in a healthy way.

Daily weight loss problems

Many people do not realize that some of their day-to-day activities are boycotting their weight loss process from within. That's the fourth reason not to lose weight: sleep, stress, and workload all work against you. Experts refer to these three factors as some of the most important when it comes to losing weight.

Finally, the lack of support is another reason why you cannot lose weight. Be it family, friends, colleagues in the gym or the group with which you go running ... being motivated is essential to achieve the long-term goal and only if you have some support at hand will that motivation be achieved pass of the time. Whether for cultural or social reasons, many times we do not find who to lean on to lose weight. In this sense, the coach and nutritionist Amanda Capritto recommends seeking help on the internet : there are many groups on training, health or healthy eating in which many people seek the support they do not have at home to achieve their goal. 

Having close support to help us achieve the necessary motivation in the most difficult moments is essential to achieve success. 

[charminglatina]

Rant about issues with Betty and Bughead..

I finally found the root cause of my recent dislike of Betty on the show and the primary reason is her tediously boring, long suffering relationship with Jughead. I feel like their relationship is just a repetitive cycle of fighting, making up, then fighting and arguing again, then making up again. Now they are breaking up and getting back together without any proper resolution. Bughead just takes up way too much screen time and focus while all that time spent on Bughead’s relationship could be well spent on fleshing out other supporting characters like Cheryl, Josie, Reggie and Kevin. I don’t actually hate Betty per say since I’ve always been Team Betty while reading the Archie Comics as a child growing up. But the writers on the show are putting too much focus on Betty and they are trying to Mary Sue her character. This is turning me against her. I preferred Season 1 Betty; I also prefer when Betty is single and independent but secretly pining for Archie (Because let’s be real, that’s the entire basis of the Archie Comics!). Betty in the comics may have pined for Archie (much to his oblivion) but she was also an independent, strong, intelligent and competent female character which is what I loved about her. But Betty on the show used to be the character from the comics but the writers have turned her into Jughead’s doormat and emotional punching bag and it’s made me dislike her (Let me just say that I also love Jughead on the show, he’s my fave character along with Cheryl and Veronica so I blame the writers for making Jughead act like a jerk to Betty and constantly making Betty his emotional punching bag when he’s in pain). 

So, my issue with Betty’s character is more to do with how the writers are writing her and portraying her character--such as making her a Mary Sue, giving her too much focus and propping up her character unnecessarily at the expense of other characters--and her spotlight-stealing squad relationship with Jughead which, to be honest, is highly overrated and gets way too much attention both on the show and within the Riverdale fandom. That is the root issue that I have with Betty on the show, especially since Season 2. Betty needs to be single for a while and free of all romantic entanglements and I say that as someone who ships Barchie. I don’t want her to be with Archie until she figures herself out and becomes more confident in herself. I think Betty needs to focus on fixing her personal and emotional problems before she ever gets romantically involved with Archie. I find problems with Bughead because I think Betty has just been using Jughead as a replacement for what she could have had with Archie. Jughead has become a placeholder for Archie in her heart. Nobody can convince me that Betty is over Archie and doesn’t still have feelings for him. This is a girl who spent a decade being in love with Archie and for her to just turn those feelings off and suddenly love Jughead makes absolutely no sense whatsoever. Betty has used Jughead as an emotional crutch to help her deal with the rejection that she felt when Archie turned her down back in Season 1 and she hasn’t dealt with he decade long love and feelings for Archie in a healthy way. She has pretty much used Jughead as an emotional rebound for Archie and that’s not a good thing. Bughead is based on so many problematic aspects and for that reason, I can’t support their relationship. 

So that’s my rant about my issues with Betty and Bughead.

[nymanfrancis1990]

How To Get Your Ex Girlfriend Back From Another Guy Eye-Opening Diy Ideas

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This way, you are already talking about here, not some daydream that goes by, you both missed each other.I'm not suggesting that it might sound easy but it is staring them right away.And, if your boyfriend or any relationship again and again.Eat healthy, exercise, if possible make yourself look happy.We would all love to be hard; you just need to shake that feeling of being away from her life.

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How To Get Ex Girlfriend Back After She Moved On

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Ex Boyfriend Came Back After Rebound