#he’s already like ‘ok i’ve reviewed your symptoms and want to help you so here’s a referral to an expert!’

[clickbeetle]

i’ve only seen my new doctor twice and he’s already so much better than my last one holy shit. and not just because he doesn’t sexually assault me

[mackadesiac]

Anxiety and Finances

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The first time I realized that my general anxiety disorder may be impacting my spending habits was when I was in the middle of PetSmart, nearly in tears, because I was afraid I wasn’t spending enough money on my cat for his birthday.

I have a very cute cat. He is very sweet, very social, and very indifferent on the majority of toys he gets. He has two favorites, and that’s about it. I ended up blowing my fleeting budget on a cat tree (which he already had). He never touched it, and I ended up giving it away.

The next year, I briefly dated a coach from the gym. When we matched on Bumble, I convinced myself I needed to go to Old Navy to get a new workout top that was cute, and flirty, which would seal the date.

If did not. After two dates, he ghosted me and is now in love with a woman who is far more fit than me, but with the same first name. That does wonders for my self-esteem.

Writing these instances out feels juvenile. It feels silly to panic over a date, or a cat’s birthday, or the idea that my apartment wasn’t “fall enough��, leading to a binge shopping spree. It didn’t feel silly at the moment. It felt overwhelming. I still remember the panicked feeling in my chest, the single obsession I had, the rapid heart, the trick my mind did, which was assuring me that the second I made these purchases, Larry (the term I give my anxiety), would simply vanish.

I’ve been reading “Bad with Money”, a book by Gabby Dunn about finances. This was the first financial book, where mental health was addressed, and I didn’t feel like absolute shit at the end of reading it. Typically, every book I read or financial advice I get, revolves around “Be better.”

Here’s the truth: For those of us who are not neurotypical, “being better” is not as easy as you think.

I was in a denial for a long time that my mental health was impacting my financial behavior. I would do something impulsive and then feel devastated that I was a terrible, unworthy human being, spend some time in bed, crying and watching YouTube videos, telling myself “I AM GOING TO CHANGE”, then falling back into a terrible cycle.

For those of you who are reading this and thinking “You entitled millennial, saving money isn’t that hard, you’re just lazy”, let me tell you what an anxiety disorder feels like. 

unsplash-logoDarius Bashar

Something slightly unexpected happens, or a major work type thing is approaching (e.g., academic conferences, deadlines, a date). I start to think about it. I start to have graphic dreams about something going wrong during said event, usually involving blood, death, or something worse. My stomach starts to turn into knots. My heart rate starts to rise. It feels like I’m about to die or lose control. My head sometimes gets light. I get dizzy. I start to focus singularly on one thing that will “Fix this.” Typically it means purchasing something that may help, or at least something that will make me think I’m ready. I buy that thing, and I get a tempory relief.

It is not fun. It is not “all in my head. There are somatic symptoms. And it hurts my finances in ways I only realized recently. If you struggle with this, or mental health and managing finances here are a couple of things I want to say:

You are not a bad person for your finances. Likewise, if you have a ton of money, you are not automatically a good person. Money does not indicate self-worth.

Practice grounding. Whenever I get an anxiety attack, I have a list of things I try to focus on. I review all of the names of the Harry Potter books, the Horcruxes, where they were hidden, who killed them, etc. etc. Sometimes I even text my friends and say “I’m having an anxiety attack. Text me Harry Potter trivia.” It works. Pick something you know a lot about, or focus on reciting all the states you can.

See a therapist. I love therapy. I think it’s great.  I get to tell someone all about myself and they are forced to give me insightful information. It’s everything I have ever wanted.

Keep a list of self-care activities that are free with you. I have one in my Bullet Journal, broken down by category. If I spend ten minutes playing guitar, even if it takes every fiber of my being, I tend to feel better, and the anxiety lessens.

Understand the system is set up to fail you. You are not a failure, especially in graduate school, for not having a lot of money. I am insanely privileged to have parents to help me out when I get in a tough spot, and I understand not everyone has that ability. It’s hard for the average person to escape the consumerism culture. It’s even harder when you have mental health issues, and everyone is selling you on devices, and hair care in the name of “self-care.” If you end up spending some money or falling victim to that, it’s ok. You’re not a failure-the system is failing you. Look forward, not backward.

Forgive yourself once in a while. When I started being kinder to myself, I notice I stopped having as many spending sprees, and I’m better at controlling myself.

Talk to everyone. Ask your professors how they made it through grad school. I recently started asking my grad school friends how they manage their money, and it’s helpful. I know I’m not alone, and I occasionally get tips. When my professors mention budgets, I ask them how they keep track of them, and they’re helpful.

Avoid the people who make you feel bad. Graduate students aren’t always the most chill, down to earth people. Some people come into programs with a lot of money, and hearing them talk about blowing money on things I couldn’t dream of, or their ability to jet off when they want, makes me feel like I’m a failure. Other people will convince you that since you are not doing exactly what they are, you’re a failure. The older I get, the better I am at avoiding those people and cutting them out of my life.

Find the resources that work for you. Reading Bad with Money has helped me with the shame of my finances. The podcast was where I started. Also, You Need A Budget, has been the most helpful app in terms of understanding budgeting. It’s free for students for a year I believe, and they have some great information that doesn’t focus on shaming you. Dave Ramsey never did it to me-I just felt ashamed that I couldn’t add a pizza delivery job to my already full schedule. Plus I’m a left-leaning, brown, bisexual woman, and I couldn’t help believing that I was his target audience (this may not be true, but it’s a feeling I got).

Focus on positive feelings. I used to try and shame myself out of spending money, which didn’t end up working. I would focus on the guilt, which would just flip me into “I am so anxious that I need to spend 12 hours in bed to avoid the world.” I’ve been trying to think “If I save money, I can buy my parents something ice” or “This ten dollars can be spent on a vacation/tattoo rather than coffee.” Instead of shaming your current or past self, think of investing in your future self.

For the love of God, sleep. Therapy helps. Medication helps. Meditation helps. But sleeping is the best thing for my anxiety disorder. When I get a good nights rest, I feel so much more in control. I feel ready. I go to sleep around 8-8:45 pm, and I have learned to love it. Please do not fall into the stupid grad school myth that if you’re not working until 2 am, you’re failing. It’s bull. My work is so much better when I feel positive and rested.

I’m not going to pretend I am perfect with my finances yet. Hell, I’m not even close. But sharing my thoughts and perspectives with others may help someone down the line. And the more I share, the better I feel. I shouldn’t be ashamed about my mental health or my finances. Because the more I keep those in the dark, the worse they get.

[justiceforvictimsoffocus-blog]

Review of Focus Treatment Centers of Chattanooga, TN

My Google review was too long, so here is the whole post: (Yes, this was important enough to me to start a whole tumblr page just to raise awareness. It took me over a whole day to figure out how too make this work. Also, it helps bring me peace for such a horrible/traumatic experience. Also, please excuse any typos or weird wording. Tumblr did not copy and paste accurately for some reason. Not even close. So I literally had to word for word compare this post to the word document where it was saved and fix all the weird stuff it did)

(This is part 1 of 3 of my review) If I could give this place 0 stars I would. I have been to multiple detox and mental health facilities and this was the ABSOLUTE worst experience I've ever had. This place is TOXIC and should be shut down. My 7 th point is the most significant, FYI, if you decide to skip the rest.

Ok, so maybe if you have "stereotypical" body image issues with anorexia, bulimia, or binge eating disorders and do not know what's causing them, maybe Focus can be helpful. BUT what a lot of these sick people have yet to realize apparently, is that there are MANY forms of eating disorder that don't include those three disorders. (Specific example: My friend's 4-year old son has what doctors have called an eating disorder, because he has a hard time eating certain textures, etc. He's not over eating and he's certainly not undereating because he’s concerned about his physical appearance. He is in therapy for it. ALL eating disorders deserve help.)

I digress.

1.) I went to the facility to seek treatment for alcoholism and eating disorders. It took me three tries to get into this facility because they kept rejecting me on the basis that my BAC was too high. Ya think? I know I needed help and I was more than coherent so it's not like I was passed out drunk or something. By my 3rd attempt I could not even sign the documents because I was shaking/withdrawing so much as a result of getting my BAC low enough so quickly for acceptance.

2.) They consistently left me in the dark. They did not give me or my husband any information about the program, aside from financials (money hungry much?). They did not give me a tour of the facility. They did not explain how anything worked or where anything was. I didn’t even know where I could have gotten more water to drink. Yes, I could have asked, but I was shaking and so sick because I was also detoxing that I thought I might have been seizures, because they gave me basically nothing that helped me with my withdrawals. I was suffering so much and they blamed it on me for not eating. Well, no shit. I was having severe alcohol withdrawals and loss of appetite is a common symptom. Not to mention the food that they offered wasn’t appetizing at all. I already have difficulty eating, hence the reason I was in the eating disorder department in the first place. Not because I'm afraid of getting fat. I'm happy with my weight and trying to gain more weight actually. Their solution was to give me Gatorade.

I have a history of alcoholism and have never experienced any withdrawals like this in my life. (and I drank much more heavily for much longer the other time I went to detox) They gave me medication that seemingly had no effect on me. I explained the medicine did not really do much, but all they did was up the dosage which still didn’t do much. In comparison, the last facility I went to years ago gave me a medication that actually worked for me. I never felt sick the whole time I was there after that first dose. (I also wasn’t overly medicated and they lowered my dosage each day, not increased it) I have also weaned/detoxed myself off the alcohol with no drugs and still never experienced any withdrawals like what happened at Focus. (Part 1/3)

(This is part 2 of 3 of my review) 3.) They absolutely refused to speak to my husband on the phone. Maybe for some that’s the best approach, but my husband is my rock, my foundation, my everything and we have never spent a day in 12 years where we have not at least spoken on the phone and 99% (98.8% I literally did the math) of those days we are together physically. I told them I wouldn’t be able to make it if they didn’t let me speak to him. I told many people who adamantly refused, which is ridiculous, because I was going through the most difficult sickness of my life and I just wanted to hear his voice. Just for a minute, so I could find the strength to keep going. I made it very clear how important this was to me. My husband had even spoken with the facility and explained that he was afraid I’d suffer separation anxiety and wouldn’t be able to make it without his support and asked if an exception could be made to best provide for my mental health. They wouldn’t allow it and couldn’t accept that there was not "one right way" for everyone. 

This facility needs to be more accommodating to the exact needs of specific individuals. DO NOT LET THEM MAKE YOU BELIEVE THAT THEY KNOW YOU BETTER THAN YOU KNOW YOURSELF. And as I mentioned before about being left in the dark, there was an EDA (eating disorder anonymous) meeting THAT evening which my husband could have attended. If I could have just waited a few more hours I could have seen him. But NO ONE told me about this. They told him, but of course he had no way of telling me directly and asked them to tell me to give me hope, but of course they neglected to do that.

4.) They could never give me clear answers on when I would get to see the doctor, therapist, or nutritionist. It was always just "well, you'll get to see them soon". It was so much uncertainty which is so difficult when I was in such a fragile state. As a side note, they told my husband I’d see the therapist the same day I checked in, but I only got to see her the next day AFTER I declared I needed to leave because the place was just too toxic for me.

5.) They wouldn’t let me brush my teeth. The nurse said it might make me vomit. Um ... I guess I don’t know about the average person, but having a clean mouth is going to make ME considerably less nauseated, so I had to sneak away to go brush my teeth. Something so simple and also important because I have a history of teeth issues. 6.) They go through your suitcase when you get there, which is understandable, but they took things out without telling me they took anything out at all. One of the things they took out was something called a Plexis Wheel. It's similar to a foam roller, just google it if you don’t know what it is. It helps pop, massage, and straighten out your back. First of all, why the fuck was I not allowed to have that? It's not dangerous in any way and I NEED it. I have chronic back pain from fractures I received a few years ago. Like 24/7 pain. They also took my yoga mat, because you know, that's dangerous. That's what I would have used to use the plexis wheel on, so I was in a panic when I realized I could not find them in my suitcase. I have so much pain and anything natural I can do to help with my pain I do it. (I don’t take any drugs or anything for it) A nurse also took away my fitbit off my wrist, because it "counts steps", which she assumed meant I was going to use it to lose weight, I guess. I was almost in tears, because I NEED know the time and date to stay in touch with reality, having this information keeps me sane. I don’t even pay attention to the number of steps most of the time. That was the worst nurse I had. She was such a pushy bitch. I wish I remembered her name. (Part 2/3)

(This is part 3 of 3 my review)  This brings me to my last and most significant point. At one point during my stay I was asked: "Have you done any of the following things recently?":

· Had suicidal thoughts

· Had homicidal thoughts

· Binging

· Purging

· Restricting

· Exercising

So of course, I said "only exercising". She asked if I had exercised since I'd been there. Obviously not - I was lying in bed shaking and dying. I could barely walk much less do any kind of exercise. I exercise, because 1.) my stretches, yoga, and exercise are the most significant things I can do to fight my chronic back pain. When I tried to explain this, they basically rolled their eyes and asked me sarcastically how working out/exercising could possibly help my back pain. I explained that it strengthens muscles, improves posture, etc. It was literally suggested to me by my orthopedic doctor as the only thing that can be done to help my condition. In addition, building muscle helps gain weight and increases your appetite, (which I'd been telling them the whole time that I’ve trying to do, not lose weight, but again they didn’t believe me, because of stereotypes. I even have to wear my wedding ring on a necklace, because it won’t even fit my finger anymore because I’ve successfully gained weight.) The nurse gave me a look like "ok, yeah, whatever". They just could not comprehend how working out could help my pain and the fact that I was actively trying to gain weight. 2.) Exercise is good for you emotionally, as everyone knows it raises endorphins. And 3.) I HAVE OSTEOPOROSIS. Google anything about it and it will tell you that the most important thing you can do to strengthen bones is to do heavy weightlifting. Who normally has osteoporosis at 28? PEOPLE WITH EATING DISORDERS. A facility that deals with people with eating disorders should know the benefits of this. I can’t explain my eating disorders (besides the fact that my mouth gets really dry and my teeth hurt and if I don’t like the food enough, then I don’t salivate enough, which become painful and therefore causes stomach problems from not chewing it properly) and I would have liked to have gotten help in figuring out ways to combat it, but obviously they are not educated enough for my complex situation.

Needless to say, I had to check out after about 24 hours. This was one of the worst experiences of my life. And the fact that they left me sick even though I told them the medicine wasn’t working (and certainly not the Gatorade). However, as sick as they said I’d be if I left after just one day of detox, and as many times as they told me that once my meds wore off I was going to be really sick again and that I might have seizures and/or die - That same evening I was home and sober with my husband (who got me food I could actually eat) and my kitties and plexis wheel and I felt great. I just think the stress the nurses were causing me was just exasperating my withdrawal symptoms and lowering my appetite. Again, that place was just extremely toxic for me and I'm SO glad I left when I did and will certainly never be back. I suggest you take all of this into consideration before admitting yourself because this is a neglectful facility that honestly could have been sued for malpractice, because I could have died. (I didn’t eat anything the whole time I was there, which was very dangerous in my given situation)

Whoever from the facility/company is reading this, one size does not fit all. I was SO optimistic that your program would have been able to help me, and I'm very disappointed and discouraged that it ended so poorly. It's facilities like yours that give mental health care to bad reputation, which in turn discourages people from getting the help they really need. (3/3)

I have been to hell and back just trying to post this review using 3 different emails address, 3 different browsers, 5 different devices, multiple IP addresses (with no success) and hours and hours of my time. I have never put this much effort into posting something online. I say all of this to say, this has not been a quick endeavor, but again this experience was so significant to me that it was THAT important to me to make others aware and also for my own mental peace. Thanks for reading.

[serpentdeflector]

An Important Message

Some of you probably know, most of you don't, but I have been struggling greatly with gastrointestinal issues for the better part of a year and a half now.  I'll spare you the details (and trust me, this is a good thing), but suffice it to say I have missed a ton of work, spent an enormous amount of time arguing with (and even more time attempting to get a hold of someone at) my insurance company, and overall been impacted much more than just a little tummy ache.  In addition to my primary care provider, I have seen three different gastroenterologists, an endocrinologist, had three different nuclear medicine scans, 3 CT scans, 4 endoscopies, 3 colonoscopies, a capsule endoscopy, and made three trips to the emergency room.  No one could figure out what the issue was.  I have no tumors anywhere (thank God), no Crohn's Disease, no Colitis, just a mild case of gastritis (inflammation of the stomach) in addition to the aforementioned symptoms.  I responded to no medication that was tried (and we tried enough medications that I could open a CVS).

I tell you all this not to engender sympathy, but rather so you understand the level of my frustration when each of the three gastroenterologists gave me the old shoulder shrug and said "I have nothing else i can do here".

Last week after my most recent colon/endoscopy, I had enough.  I had a copy of my full medical chart sitting on my dining room table, a result of me being a complete asshole to my primary care provider, but I digress.  I sat at the dining room table last Monday pouring over the records, looking for something someone missed.  I am not a doctor, so as you can guess, I didn't find too much.  So I took my search to the internet.  Google didn't give me much help - my symptoms were more closely aligned to all of the conditions that had already been ruled out than anything else I found.  On a whim I went to Reddit and started reading the AskDocs and Medical subreddit.  After a couple hours of digging, I found someone reference a condition called Habba Syndrome.

Habba Sydrome is not something you will find in any book of known and accepted medical conditions.  I would reckon well over 99% of doctors currently practicing have never heard of it.  Certainly none of my dream team had.  But it matched every single symptom I have had.  It was discovered by a doctor in Northern New Jersey named Saad Habba.  I am being completely honest when I say Dr. Habba saved my life, because I was at my wit's end.  Dr. Habba had a hypothesis, that Irritable Bowel Syndrome, which millions of people around the world have been diagnosed with, and is commonly called a diagnosis of exclusion - i.e. we've ruled everything else out, so we'll call it this - was nothing more than something innovated by Drug Companies in order to sell more drugs.  He did some research, enlisting 302 people with IBS diagnoses.  He found that 298 of these people (that's 98.7% if you're scoring at home) actually had an underlying cause for their symptoms that was missed by doctors.  A full 41% (that's 124 patients) had a dysfunctional, intact gallbladder, accompanied by chronic diarrhea (sorry, said i wasn't going to mention it, and trust me it's much worse than you are picturing, but it's germaine to the discussion at this point).   He gave these patients an anti-cholesterol drug that works by binding bile salts (the gallbladder stores bile, and is supposed to release it when you eat a particularly fatty meal, as bile breaks down fats so they can be digested), and found that literally within days, every single one of these 124 patients reported significant improvement in their symptoms.  I went back and looked at the scan of my gallbladder I had done, and it showed my gallbladder to be a bit overactive, but the doctor who read the scan decided this wasn't of concern, or unremarkable, as they say in the biz.

It was at this point, and at nearly 5:00 in the morning (sorry Shari) that I knew I was driving to Summit, NJ to meet this man.  The following day, I presented my case to my primary care doctor, who was blown away, and agreed that I needed to see Dr. Habba.  

Yesterday morning, Shari and I sat in traffic on I-95 in order to meet Dr. Habba at 10:45.  As an aside, I had begun taking the medication last Wednesday, and had started to feel significantly better.  Still, I made the trip, one, to thank this man profusely for saving my life, and two, to ensure that there were no other concerns, as it was clear to me at this point that Dr. Habba is not your run of the mill doctor.  As I recounted my history over the last year plus to Dr. Habba, the amount of times he nodded his head in agreement, or commented that a test or procedure I had was completely necessary, I couldn't help but smile.  He gets it.  Too many doctors settle for the simple (incorrect) diagnosis, collect their money from the unethical and flat out criminal insurance companies, and tell you to follow up in a year, whilst providing no relief to their patients.  I get that the Hippocratic Oath says Do No Harm, but perhaps they need to re-word it to Do Whats Right.

After I finished my spiel, Dr. Habba agreed that I was a prototypical case of Habba Syndrome.  He wanted to do an additional test to ensure my pancreas is working properly, but otherwise had no other concerns.  Before he let me leave, though, he said something that I will take with me for as long as the good Lord lets me wreak havoc on this mortal Earth.  He said "Mr. Fanelli, I have been doing this for 39 years.  I don't need the money, and I don't need awards.  I am doing this to help people like you."  At this point, I had begun to cry, which had become rather commonplace for me over the past few weeks.  I guess getting old and being really sick makes even the most cynical pricks emotional.  He continued, "There are people all over the world who come to see me, as far as Hong Kong, but there are many more who cannot.  I ask one thing of you.  Go and spread the word.  Tell people that it is not OK to suffer.  If you are not getting answers, don't give up hope, keep fighting."

And so, after a couple thousand words, we've gotten to my point.  If any of you are struggling with an illness, don't quit.  If you need someone to talk to, I am here to listen.  No one should ever feel the way I've felt.  No one should ever feel that their doctor does not care about them.  The Affordable Care Act has done a lot of good for this country - look no further than Jimmy Kimmel's monologue from last night for proof.  However, one of the unfortunate downsides is that our doctors are now flooded with patients who probably don't need medical attention, and in turn, our doctors are spending less and less time actually thinking about and reviewing their patient's concerns.  If you are not getting answers from your doctor, go find one who will.  They are out there.  I am very blessed to have a primary care physician who is extremely thorough, understanding, and forgiving of complete douchecanoes like me.  If you do not feel that way about your doctor, find someone who is.  You may not need it now, but sometime down the road, it will benefit you.  We need more Dr. Habbas in this world, and the only way that can happen is if people like me tell his story and encourage others to demand more from their doctors.  

If you've made it this far, thank you.  Please help me spread the message, as it vitally important.  

[theunknown-ericfanfiction]

Unexpected: Part 24

The Unknown Chapter Index.

Unexpected Chapter Index

Eric was glad Erudite had sent the rest results in a manila folder, to be completely oblivious to the people that had to deliver them, which were a lot.

When he got them in the morning he had to postpone everything he was thinking to do that day.

Morgan had located her candidates to replace her, and now Eric had to give them the seal of approval and start with the extra training some of them needed.

Morgan had picked an ex-erudite girl called Stella to arrange meetings with Christine, hoping that that would settle the fire that had started between them. Another ex-candor guy called Isaiah to take care of patrolling, that would be helpful since there were a lot of people coming to work fixing the buildings, and they needed to keep the factions safe from people who didn’t exactly believed in the faction system.

The last guy was a dauntless boy called Murdock that knew pretty much how everything worked, he just needed a little polishing and he would be good to go.

If Eric wasn’t mistaken that week Morgan was turning 2 months pregnant, and while Morgan had been reading a lot of books about future parenting, Eric read a lot about the development and the stages she was going through, making sure to share with her everything and vice versa.

Luckily Morgan had been having decent seven hours sleep most nights, and she always felt good and ready to start their day, Eric hoped none of the bad things happened during the pregnancy, like nausea, irritation, faintings being the most terrible one that could happen.

He didn’t wanted to imagine what would happen if Morgan felt dizzy and fainted over the flight of stairs.

He knew these were all irrational beliefs, and that he was over thinking everything, that he couldn’t be on Morgan’s way every second of everyday to keep her safe, but keeping her from doing some things was helping.

Well, it was helping him. Morgan not so much.

He scanned the documents and tests out of pure curiosity, since he really didn’t understand all the medical terms and numbers, statistics or anything of that nature.

He just hoped everything was more than OK.

He headed down to where Morgan should be doing her rounds, the gym

The gym had to accommodate to receive the next initiates next week, the shelves where they kept the guns and blanks handy needed to be set up. He saw Morgan give directions with her hand as the dauntless aligned the shelves, some other were making sure the dummies were filled, the mat was unscathed, some other fixes and rearrangements around the gym.

On initiation time, when Eric was still a normal leader he just had to focus on strategies to turn the initiates into dauntless, he never really indulged into the other chores that took place to receive them.

Morgan did really work a lot.

He walked to her, he didn’t wanted to sneak up on her, but there was a lot of movement and taking in the gym, so he had to call her before he approached her.

“Morgan” he said, she turned around and gave him a fast wave, when he got to her he placed his hand on the low of her back. “Can I steal you for a second?”

She glanced at him and back at the clip of papers she held in her hand, Eric hadn’t seen that

“Is it going to take long? I have so much shit to do today” she let out in a sigh.

“I have some paperwork I need to check with you” he said, Morgan turned to him and looked at him inquisitively.

Paperwork in the world of being married with Eric often meant that he needed to have her right there, or in his office.

In another unfortunate times it meant that he had some serious thing to talk about, maybe a little scold here and there if things didn’t come out like Eric would like them.

“Like… Paperwork?” She asked serious

“Erudite paperwork” he clarified hoping that she caught the true meaning.

Morgan looked down at her things againg, she held Eric’s hand to her eyes and looked at the time

“OK, we can go now” she muttered “I want this all set up in half an hour tops, weapons calibrated, cleaned, knives sharpened and all that ok?” She directed the orders to the dauntless men working on the shelves, who gave her a nod and continued working.

Morgan began to walk out of the dinning room with fast steps as Eric followed her.

“We just have to deliver this to Anne or do we have to do anything else?” She asked once they were out of the dinning room.

“I don’t know, why? Do you have something better to do than to find out how is our baby growing?”

“Oh fuck you” she said angry as she snapped her head back at him, then continued walking “don’t speak to me in that tone like ‘oh do you have something better to do?’ How about you shut your fucking mouth you don’t have a fucking clue what I’m talking about or what I’m even doing for your stupid faction” she ranted.

Eric closed his eyes and let out a sigh as he continued to listen to Morgan rant. Yes, he knew about mood swings, but he didn’t think they would be so violent. He tuned into the conversation again after a few seconds of Morgan talking angrily at him as she kept an angry frown.

“… And some fucking idiot has been jumping up and down in the net, I’ve been told they teared it. So I have to make sure that is also settled because I don’t see you or anyone else do it. I’m dealing with all this shit by my own, I have to train three more other leaders and am I supposed to just come back home like 'oh honey yes everything is fine’ I’m freaking the fuck out right now Eric”

Eric didn’t realized they had already reached the infirmary, and Morgan was almost screaming on the top of her lungs to Eric as she pointed and poked angry at his chest

“Are you even listening to me? Or you just tunned the fuck out like you always do when I’m talking to you abut something important? You always oh so conveniently listen to wh-”

“Hello guys” Anne came to Eric’s rescue, smiling at Morgan warmly.

Morgan turned to her and gave her a big smile, a genuine one at that. Anne looked at how Eric rolled his eyes at her and shook his head.

“How are you doing Morgan.”

“Fine I think. I just have so much to do today”

“I’m sure, initiation season is always pretty hectic for everyone”

She motioned at the door of her office and let them both in.

As soon as the door was closed Eric handed Anne the folder.

“I suppose they made you a hundred questions when they did the exams right?” She said taking the folder and pulling out the content.

“Yeah, a lot. They were exhausting” Morgan said taking a seat.

“And you’ve had a quiet week I believe?” Anne asked with her eyebrow cocked upwards inquisitively

Morgan looked at Eric from her seat, and they both remained in a guilty silence.

“I’ll take that as a no” she said eyeing the documents quickly

“It’s nothing between us, it’s just so many things together. Leaders on our asses and the whole thing with the department, and now initiation” Morgan explained.

“OK, and have you been having any… You know, pregnancy related symptoms?”

“Not that I know of” she said shrugging

“Mood swings are also a symptom” she clarified

“Don’t” Eric spoke from behind her, Morgan turned to him and frowned “I rather her being angry than to see her cry, don’t bring that up” he said looking at Anne in the eyes.

“What?” Morgan asked confused

“It’s OK Morgan” Anne said dismissively. Though Morgan didn’t pleased herself with that answer.

“Was I yelling at you?” She said to Eric while turning to him again

“It’s OK Morgan, listen to Anne” he motioned with his head.

“It will take me a while to review all this. I’ll contact you of anything happens but otherwise I’ll see you two in the next sonogram check-in in a month OK?” Anne said standing up and walking to the door. Morgan stood up and walked to it while Eric followed behind “of course, you can contact me if you have any questions OK?”

Morgan nodded, still distraught as Eric held her by the waist and led her to the exit of the infirmary

“Was I really yelling at you?” Morgan said turning to him and blocking his way.

“Morgan it’s OK”

“Eric answer me” she demanded

“Yes you were Morgan. But I know it’s because if the whole” he motioned at her stomach “and it’s fine. I don’t mind helping you Morgan, tell me what do you need and I’ll help you”

“It’s not about that” she rolled her eyes “it’s just that I want to still do what I did before it happened.”

“And you can keep doing that. I just don’t want you to be overwhelmed by it OK?” Eric said rubbing her shoulders.

“I’m sorry I yelled at you” she whispered.

Eric saw her eyes water as she looked down

“Please don’t cry” he murmured and cupped her face. He lifted it up and cleaned the tears that streamed on her cheeks.

Morgan’s chin trembled. Eric pulled her to his chest as Morgan’s arm hugged him by his middle, she sobbed quietly in his shoulders as Eric’s hands roamed from her neck to her shoulder blades and her upper back.

“I don’t even know why I’m crying, I feel so stupid” she said while sobbing.

Eric smiled and held her tighter, downing his lips to her neck.

Morgan took a deep breath and moved away from Eric, she rubbed her eyes free of tears and took a deep breath.

“OK, I gotta get back to work” she said looking up at him. Eric held her by the waist closer to him and kissed her lips slowly.

“Remember to ask me if you need anything, I’ll handle the net. I have something to do in that area”

“OK thank you” she breathed out and kissed his lips again. While pulling back she nibbed at his lower lip and smirked at him “I’ll repay you tonight.” She whispered seductively at him, turning around and leaving.

Eric smirked as well and headed down the net room. Angry to fine to crying to horny in a spam of 10 minutes. And it was only the second month.

[andersannabel95]

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How To Get Ex Back After 2 Months

[brentrogers]

Podcast: Male Survivors of Sexual Assault and Abuse



Did you know one in six males are sexually assaulted before their 18th birthday? Unfortunately, many victims are reluctant to come forward due to cultural conditioning. In today’s podcast, Gabe speaks with two psychologists about this very common but somewhat taboo issue. They tackle the prevalent myths surrounding male sexual assault and discuss why so many victims suffer in secrecy.

What can be done? Where can survivors reach out for help? Join us for an in-depth talk on this very important and under-discussed topic.

SUBSCRIBE & REVIEW

Guest information for ‘Male Sexual Assault’ Podcast Episode

Dr. Joan Cook is a clinical psychologist and Associate Professor in the Yale School of Medicine, Department of Psychiatry. She has over 150 scientific publications in the areas of traumatic stress, geriatric mental health and implementation science fields. Dr. Cook has worked clinically with a range of trauma survivors, including combat veterans and former prisoners of war, men and women who have been physically and sexually assaulted in childhood and adulthood, and survivors of the 2001 terrorist attack on the former World Trade Center.  She has served as the principal investigator on seven federally-funded grants, was a member of the American Psychological Association (APA) Guideline Development Panel for the Treatment of PTSD and the 2016 President of APA’s Division of Trauma Psychology. Since October 2015, she has published over 80 op-eds in places like CNN, TIME Ideas, The Washington Post and The Hill.

Dr. Amy Ellis is a licensed clinical psychologist and the Assistant Director of the Trauma Resolution and Integration Program (TRIP) at Nova Southeastern University. TRIP is a university-based community mental health center that provides specialized psychological services to individuals age 18 and above who have been exposed to a traumatic situation and are currently experiencing problems in functioning as a result of the traumatic experience. Dr. Ellis has also developed specific clinical programming focusing on trauma-informed affirmative care for sexual and gender minorities as well as gender-based services focusing on male-identifying individuals at TRIP. Dr. Ellis is involved in a variety of leadership activities within the American Psychological Association (APA), including service as a Consulting Editor for three peer-reviewed journals, Guest Editor for Practice Innovations on a special issue dedicated to the role of evidence-based relationship variables in working with sexual and gender minorities, and she is also the Editor for APA’s Division 29 (Psychotherapy) website.  

About The Psych Central Podcast Host

Gabe Howard is an award-winning writer and speaker who lives with bipolar disorder. He is the author of the popular book, Mental Illness is an Asshole and other Observations, available from Amazon; signed copies are also available directly from the author. To learn more about Gabe, please visit his website, gabehoward.com.

Computer Generated Transcript for ‘Male Sexual Assault’ Episode

Editor’s Note: Please be mindful that this transcript has been computer generated and therefore may contain inaccuracies and grammar errors. Thank you.

Announcer: You’re listening to the Psych Central Podcast, where guest experts in the field of psychology and mental health share thought-provoking information using plain, everyday language. Here’s your host, Gabe Howard.

Gabe Howard: Welcome to this week’s episode of the Psych Central Podcast. Calling into the show today, we have Dr. Amy Ellis and Dr. Joan Cook. Amy is a licensed clinical psychologist and the assistant director of the Trauma Resolution and Integration Program at Nova Southeastern University, and Joan is a clinical psychologist and associate professor in the Yale School of Medicine, Department of Psychiatry. Amy and Joan, welcome to the show.

Dr. Joan Cook: Thank you. Happy to be here.

Dr. Amy Ellis: Thank you.

Gabe Howard: Well, I am very glad to have both of you, because we have a really big topic today, we’re going to be discussing male survivors of sexual abuse and assault. And I’m a little bit embarrassed to admit when we first started putting together this episode, I thought to myself, is this a subject that we need to cover? Is it big enough? Aren’t we already discussing it? And the research that I did and the stuff that I learned from both of you, so thank you very much, is that it’s actually sort of under-discussed and underreported.

Dr. Joan Cook: Absolutely. And thank you, Gabe, for admitting to that. I think a lot of health care providers, a lot of the public and many male survivors themselves adhere to a number of male rape myths. We need to talk in this country about how rape and sexual assault of boys and men not only as possible, but actually occurs at high rates. If I could share with you just a snippet of how frequently it occurs.

Gabe Howard: Yeah, please, please. That is my next question. What are the prevalence rates?

Dr. Joan Cook: Ok. So I think a lot of people don’t know this, but at least one in six boys are sexually abused before their 18th birthday. One in six. And this number rises to one in four men who are sexually abused across their lifespan. That’s too many.

Gabe Howard: Obviously, any number is too many.

Dr. Joan Cook: Absolutely.

Gabe Howard: But that stat blew me away. At the start of my research for this episode, I believed that the number was half a percent, like it was just ridiculously low.

Dr. Joan Cook: Right? And I think that’s because, let’s face it, people don’t report sexual assault. Both men and women don’t tend to report it to law enforcement agencies or to the FBI. We just don’t have good crime statistics on these. Why? Shame, embarrassment, minimization, and people not believing survivors. You know, a lot of the research and the clinical scholarship that we have on sexual abuse, including the development and testing of psychosocial interventions, really focuses on women. And that’s important for sure. Absolutely. But men and boys who experience sexual abuse, they’re out there and they’re largely overlooked. They’re stigmatized or shamed by the public and sometimes by health care professionals. It’s just not acceptable.

Gabe Howard: I also noticed that pop culture covers everything. But this is not a trope in pop culture. We see the sexual assault of women in Law & Order SVU in primetime television week after week and marathons all weekend. But I can’t really think of any pop culture representation of sexual assault, rape, or trauma in pop culture at all. Outside of that one movie from the 70s with the banjo and that’s largely regarded as like a horror movie. And do you think that this plays into the public dismissing sexual assault on men and boys?

Dr. Amy Ellis: Absolutely. So what you’re picking up on is that this really just isn’t represented. We have amazing celebrities that come out like Tyler Perry who disclose sexual abuse. But it’s not often enough and it’s often with a lot of snarky comments that are written, a lot of trolling, a lot of other things. And I think this really speaks to the toxic masculinity that’s prevalent in our society. The idea that men should be able to ward off sexual abuse or they’re quote unquote, not real men. And that’s something that kind of pervades even around more kind of socially correct, politically correct people. It’s still that idea of like grow a set, or just step up, or how could you let this happen? It’s still a lot of victim blaming that I know women face as well. But I think even more so around men, which just signals to us that there’s an issue in terms of how we view masculinity in general as a society.

Gabe Howard: I feel that we should point out that, of course, we’re not contrasting and comparing male to female assault and sexual abuse in any sort of competitive nature. It’s just that we want to make sure that everybody gets the help that we need. And your research has determined that there’s a lot of men that aren’t getting the support that they need. I mean, anybody who is sexually abused or sexually assaulted, raped deserves good care. And the fact that your research has determined that a lot of men are being left out of this conversation is obviously very problematic.

Dr. Joan Cook: I appreciate that very much, Gabe, because sometimes and this is what we’ve heard from male survivors, too. Sometimes when they go to survivor meetings, you know, they are seen as perpetrators instead of survivors of violence themselves. And so they’re not as welcome at the survivor table or some survivor tables. And then even when they go to some providers, providers have said like, you know, it’s not possible that you were assaulted or you must be gay. You must have wanted it. And so all of those myths and stereotypes keep people from getting the help that they need and deserve. And working on their path to healing. And also, like you said, it is not a competition. Everyone deserves this kind of validation and attention and help improving their lives.

Gabe Howard: I could not agree more. Amy and Joan, let’s get into the meat of your research. One of the first questions that I have is what are the differences in prevalence rates and clinical presentations of men and women with sexual assault abuse histories?

Dr. Joan Cook: The rates aren’t vastly different. As I’ve mentioned earlier, it’s one in six men before their 18th birthday and then that number increases to one in four. Women do have higher rates. The CDC estimates that one in three women experience sexual assault or violence in their lifetime. The presentation, the PTSD, the substance abuse, the depression, anxiety, the suicidal ideation seems somewhat similar. Both sets of sexual abuse survivors experience it. It seems to us clinically that there’s some very prominent psychological symptoms that men have that don’t fit neatly into our diagnostic classification system. So oftentimes with men who’ve experienced sexual abuse, we see intense anger and it’s always there and it’s always seething. But it particularly comes out when they’re feeling threatened or betrayed. We see a lot of shame, a lot of feeling damaged and worried about their masculinity. We see quite a bit of sexual dysfunction, including low sex drive, erectile problems. There’s a lot of chronic pain, difficulties with sleeping. And believe it or not, you know, we don’t talk a lot about men who have eating disorders or difficulties, but we see that as well, including some negative body image. One thing also that we don’t talk about and probably, too, because this carries some shame, is that we see higher rates of sexually transmitted infections, increased sexual risk for HIV and higher sexual compulsivity. And so I think when they present to us clinically and if they’re not acknowledging a sexual abuse history and not because of their own shame, though, that could be, it could also be they haven’t been able to acknowledge it or label it accurately themselves and then connect that experience to the symptoms that they’re having, that I think we’re treating them for other difficulties instead of what’s really driving their symptoms. So they’re getting inadequate treatment.

Gabe Howard: What are some of the barriers that men face in disclosing sexual abuse and their sexual assault histories?

Dr. Amy Ellis: Well, I think it goes back to that concept of toxic masculinity. And so there’s a lot of cultural influences. So, you know, men are supposed to be powerful and invulnerable. And there’s this idea that men should always welcome sexual activity. So you’ve kind of got this just societal barrier around people wanting to come forward. And I think also it boils down to the consequences of disclosure. So are people going to regard your sexual orientation, make some sort of assumption that because you were sexually assaulted, or you must have wanted it or it says something about you. It could even just be about the risk factors involved, coming forward and wondering if you’re going to actually face more violence or more discrimination as a result. So there’s a lot of negativity there, a lot to be afraid of in terms of coming forward and that disclosure. Joan had alluded to it earlier as well, if you’re going to your doctor and your doctor also disbelieves in these things, you might be repeatedly getting shot down. And so disclosure just isn’t a safe option. I mean, honestly, it also boils down to a lack of resources or a lack of awareness of certain resources. There’s a few non-profits out there that are dedicated to working with masculine identifying individuals. And you have to know that there is a trauma in order to seek out these resources. A lot of men wouldn’t use the label of I’ve been traumatized. I’ve been sexually abused. They just don’t use that language. So really trying to capture men and their experiences and then having them be aware of what might be out there for them.

Gabe Howard: You spoke a couple of times about some of the myths that people believe about male sexual assault survivors. One of them is their sexual orientation. One of them is whether or not they’re strong. What are some other common myths regarding the sexual assault of boys and men?

Dr. Joan Cook: The first, and one of the largest, is the myth that boys and men can’t be forced to have sex against their will. And the truth is, the fact is, is that any individual can be forced to have sex against their will. If someone doesn’t want to have sex or is not able to give fully informed consent, then they’re being forced into unwanted sexual activity. Another huge one is that men who have an erection when assaulted must have wanted it or they must have enjoyed it. And the truth is that many, if not all the men that we work with have experienced unwanted or unintentional arousal during a sexual assault. Just because a man gets an erection in a painful, traumatic experience does not mean they want it. And that kind of arousal from abuse can be confusing for survivors. But what Amy and I say to the people that we work with, and the people that are participating in our large research study, is that like our heart beat or shallow breathing, physiological reactions occur like erections and they’re outside of our control. And that doesn’t mean that you brought it on. There are others, too. We could go on and on. Sadly, there’s many. One that we were reminded recently talking to one of the male survivors who lead these peer led interventions that we have is that if you are abused by a woman, the myth is that you should welcome that. So, you know, hooray for you. And the truth is, no, you should not welcome that at all. So people believe that if an older woman abuses a younger man, that should be considered a good thing. And it’s certainly not. It can have devastating consequences.

Gabe Howard: And we’ve seen this play out nationally more than once where a teacher will sexually assault a teenager. You know, a 12, 13, 14 year old and an adult woman is sexually taking advantage of that person. And we hear the jokes. They’re very common. And I remember this portrayal on South Park where all of the police officers were saying nice and giving the kid five and

Dr. Amy Ellis: Oh, yes.

Gabe Howard: The kid was traumatized. And to South Park’s credit, which I never thought I’d be saying on the show,

Dr. Joan Cook: [Laughter]

Gabe Howard: They were showing how stupid that is. The young boy was portrayed as traumatized. The teacher was portrayed as an abuser, and nobody wanted to do anything about it except for the young boy’s parents. And how ridiculous that looked. Again, very odd that I would bring up South Park in this space. But I do think that they did a good job showing how ridiculous it is that we’re OK with an adult having sex with a child and we all want to give people high fives.

Dr. Amy Ellis: Yeah. It goes right back to those barriers because if you see that happening around you, then why are you going to step forward and disclose? There is a lot to be fearful of. And to be invalidated about.

Gabe Howard: I completely agree with that. Especially for trauma, because sometimes we don’t know how we feel about traumas. We feel that something is wrong. But if the people that we trust the most are praising us, that can be very confusing, right? If the older adults in our lives are like, yeah, that’s great way to go. And you’re like, I feel badly about this, but that’s not what I’m hearing from the people in my life whom I trust.

Dr. Amy Ellis: Absolutely. And so really, family support, peer support, those are actually protective factors. So even when a child is sexually abused, knowing that they have their parents that they can turn to or peers who will be receptive or even school officials who will hear that and validate those experiences, that actually kind of staves off some of the negative consequences of traumatization. And so it really just speaks to the power of being believed. One of the most staggering statistics to me is that on average, men take 25 years to disclose their sexual abuse. That’s almost a lifetime, that’s a quarter of a lifetime of

Gabe Howard: Wow.

Dr. Amy Ellis: Keeping that locked up and inside. And yet we know disclosure and having social support are key factors in someone’s recovery and healing.

Gabe Howard: Please correct me if I’m wrong, but in this case, it’s not a matter of being believed because the adults and the authorities may believe you. They just don’t care or they don’t think that it’s anything to be worried about. So that’s two problems. Problem number one is will I be believed? And problem number two is will I be taken seriously? And I imagine that this is what leads to the statistic of it taking 25 years for a male to report, because they want to make sure that they have their own arsenal, their own agency, or maybe that’s how long it took to meet somebody whom they trust enough to be by their side. I would say probably stereotypically a spouse or maybe other male survivors.

Dr. Joan Cook: Amy and I conducted a number of focus groups a few years back with a variety of survivors, different ages, different race and ethnicities, different sexual orientations. And one of the key things people told us was that they wish we could get to boys and men and help prevent this. And if we couldn’t help prevent this horrible event and for some people, it’s not a single event. It’s ongoing or it happens to them once and then they get revictimized again by someone else at a later point in their life. They said, if you can’t help us to prevent this, can you please help us get to boys and men who’ve had this experience? Help us get to them sooner and help them heal from this. And know, they’re not alone. And one way to do that, that Amy and I have really tried to catapult and take it to the next level is giving people the validation and the support through other male survivors, through peer support. That’s what our latest grant is focused on.

Gabe Howard: We’ll be right back after these messages.

Sponsor Message: Hey folks, Gabe here. I host another podcast for Psych Central. It’s called Not Crazy. He hosts Not Crazy with me, Jackie Zimmerman, and it is all about navigating our lives with mental illness and mental health concerns. Listen now at Psych Central.com/NotCrazy or on your favorite podcast player.

Sponsor Message: This episode is sponsored by BetterHelp.com. Secure, convenient, and affordable online counseling. Our counselors are licensed, accredited professionals. Anything you share is confidential. Schedule secure video or phone sessions, plus chat and text with your therapist whenever you feel it’s needed. A month of online therapy often costs less than a single traditional face to face session. Go to BetterHelp.com/PsychCentral and experience seven days of free therapy to see if online counseling is right for you. BetterHelp.com/PsychCentral.

Gabe Howard: We’re back with Dr. Amy Ellis and Dr. Joan Cook discussing male survivors of sexual abuse and assault. Let’s shift gears over to treatment. What are some common treatment themes for male survivors?

Dr. Amy Ellis: First and foremost, when we’re considering treatment, it really starts with defining trauma and traumatization. So as I said, a lot of men do not label their experiences as trauma. That word carries a lot of weight. They seemingly apply it towards combat trauma or an accident and they tend to minimize experiences of unwanted sexual experiences. So just starting with identifying it and then also kind of determining the impact of that on their life, how their trauma has affected their relationships, their work, their symptoms of depression or anxiety, et cetera. As we’re talking about it, it starts to also play into defining and understanding masculinity. So really understanding how someone defines their own masculinity, how they define it in their particular cultural influences and then what their goals are around that. And so debunking these misconceptions or myths about male survivors could be a real focus of treatment. And then honestly, it’s treatment like any other treatment. Working on a lot of the other comorbid symptoms. A lot of men will present with depression and anxiety instead of the typical symptoms that we see in traumatization, post-traumatic stress disorder. And so it just really boils down to focusing on depression, anxiety, how things are playing out in the everyday here and now and tailoring our interventions to make sure that they are considering gender-based principles.

Gabe Howard: I think that people understand post-traumatic stress disorder when it comes to war, because we all acknowledge that war is awful, nobody wants to go to war, we never want to go to war again, it sort of has a good branding message, right? War is bad and it makes you sad. Whereas sexual assault, most people want to have a healthy sex life and they’ve been traumatized sexually. So I imagine that that causes some confusion. I think that it would be very, very difficult to have something that you like hurt you. We are sexual beings. So it’s a desire that most people have. So I can imagine all of those things working together. And then, of course, you take in all of the barriers and misconceptions. I’m starting to get a really good idea of how difficult this can be and how much work that you’ve had to put in to narrow down treatments that work and that men respond to. Is this what you found in your work?

Dr. Amy Ellis: I think you’re hitting it spot on in terms of some of the sexual considerations, you’re nailing down some other treatment themes. A lot of men will come in questioning their sexual orientation or their gender identity because of the experiences that have happened for them. And also exploring how to have a healthy sex life. So sometimes we’ll see sexual compulsivity or hypersexuality. Sometimes we see hyposexuality. So lack of sex drive or difficulties with maintaining an erection, as Joan had said earlier, too. So it is common for male survivors to come in and question and cope with some of these issues on a somewhat regular basis. And part of what helps is having that peer support, knowing, oh, you too. I’m not alone. So I think really the peer based support is what we have found really is aimed at healing.

Gabe Howard: Aside from peer support, which we’ve discussed and going to a therapist, what are some professional and community resources for men with histories of sexual abuse and assault?

Dr. Joan Cook: Well, there are quite a number of professional and community resources. Some of our favorites, there’s a wonderful non-profit organization, been around for at least 25 years. It’s called MaleSurvivor. It’s based out of New York City. It provides online free discussion groups for survivors and family members, chat rooms, a therapist directory. There’s another wonderful organization called MenHealing, which is based out of Utah. And they host weekends of healing, they call them, and they’re sort of retreats where you can go and meet other survivors. And they’re led by professionals. Certainly, within the APA, Amy and I have been very active in Division 56, which is the division of trauma psychology. And on their Web site, we developed free Web based resources for male survivors and for psychologists who are looking to work with male survivors clinically and research wise.

Gabe Howard: To shift gears a little bit along the same lines, what are some resources for family members and friends to help male sexual abuse survivors?

Dr. Joan Cook: On those Web sites, MenHealing and MaleSurvivor, they do have discussion forums and fact sheets that family members can go to and read about and see. I also like the V.A. has what’s called a National Center for PTSD. And on there they have, again, free factsheets, web resources, and they have incredible videos called About Face. And they feature veterans with a range of traumas, combat, military, sexual trauma, etc. And family members talking about the pain that they have experienced and the pathways to their healing. Some of the veterans who have a range of trauma experiences don’t receive the support and care that they deserve and their need. Understandably, their family members don’t understand or if they’re jacked up with their symptoms and they’re angry all the time. Those family members can be traumatized as well. So sometimes it’s not as easy for the veterans to explain themselves to their friends and family members. And it’s not so easy for their family members to come in and talk to a psychologist like me and Amy and receive psycho education and support. So sometimes these videos can be really helpful. So sometimes I will tell the veterans that I work with, ask your family member if they’re willing to sit privately, in the confines of their own home, and watch some of these videos and see some of the family members talk about their experiences. And sometimes it’s a little easier to be more empathetic to someone else than it is to be empathetic to your own loved one.

Gabe Howard: Joan, that is so true, we see that in substance abuse. We see that in mental illness. I am not surprised to hear how powerful peer support is, and I’m not surprised to hear how powerful it is to meet with other people outside of your friends and family to get the support you need, because this is big. This is a big thing. And you, you and Amy, have both taught me so much. Thank you. Thank you for everything. I really, really appreciate it.

Dr. Amy Ellis: Oh, my God thank you. Thank you for giving us this space.

Dr. Joan Cook: Exactly. We are in awe and extremely grateful. Thank you for helping us shed light on this very deserving and marginalized population.

Gabe Howard: Oh, it is my pleasure. Amy, I understand that you and Joan are running a study. Can you give us the details and where to find the study?

Dr. Amy Ellis: Yes, absolutely. We have a large study going on right now where we’re recruiting folks who are male, identifying sexual abuse survivors. And we’re going to be randomizing them to groups of their peers, led by male identifying peers who have gone through like 30 to 40 hours of training. And it’s six one and a half hour sessions that participants can go in to. So check out our Web site. It’s www.PeersForMensHealthStudy.com. We are actively recruiting through 2021 and we will just be constantly running groups over and over and over again as we get more people. And even if you are a professional, there’s our contact information on there, we’re happy to consult, talk, et cetera. If you have people you want to refer to or you just want to check out more about our team and what we’re doing, we’d love to connect with you. Always looking to spread the word and spread education.

Gabe Howard: Thank you so much, Amy. And please share the Web site with anybody you know who may need it. Again, it’s PeersForMensHealthStudy.com. And of course, the show notes will contain the link as well. Thank you all for listening to this week’s episode of the Psych Central Podcast. And remember, you can get one week of free, convenient, affordable, private online counselling anytime, anywhere, simply by visiting to BetterHelp.com/PsychCentral. Also, wherever you downloaded this podcast, please give us as many stars as you feel comfortable with. Use your words. Tell us why you like it. Share us on social media. If you have any questions about the show, you can hit us up at show@PsychCentral.com. Tell us what you like, what you don’t, or what topics you would like to see. We’ll see everybody next week.

Announcer: You’ve been listening to The Psych Central Podcast. Want your audience to be wowed at your next event? Feature an appearance and LIVE RECORDING of the Psych Central Podcast right from your stage! For more details, or to book an event, please email us at show@psychcentral.com. Previous episodes can be found at PsychCentral.com/Show or on your favorite podcast player. Psych Central is the internet’s oldest and largest independent mental health website run by mental health professionals. Overseen by Dr. John Grohol, Psych Central offers trusted resources and quizzes to help answer your questions about mental health, personality, psychotherapy, and more. Please visit us today at PsychCentral.com.  To learn more about our host, Gabe Howard, please visit his website at gabehoward.com. Thank you for listening and please share with your friends, family, and followers.

  Podcast: Male Survivors of Sexual Assault and Abuse syndicated from

[ellymackay]

Symptoms of Sleep Apnea – Do You Have Sleep Apnea? Nearly 1 Billion People do.

Symptoms of Sleep Apnea – Do You Have Sleep Apnea? Nearly 1 Billion People do. is available on https://www.ellymackay.com

Obstructive Sleep Apnea (OSA) is a serious health issue, if you think you may have sleep apnea, see a sleep professional right away.

Major symptoms of sleep apnea include Loud snoring Stop breathing during sleep or wake up gasping Insomnia Here is a comprehensive list of symptoms and information about sleep apnea.

936 million people around the globe have sleep apnea according to a new study this week!

Yes, you read that correctly, almost 1 billion people have sleep apnea around the world! The study reported in The Lancet Respiratory Medicine is the first prevalence update for sleep apnea in about a decade.

Previous estimates (from 2007) reported about 100 million were suffering from sleep apnea, this new data presented at the American Thoracic Society Annual meeting indicates those suffering have increased by 10X! Possibly even more alarming is that the study researchers are reporting that about 85% of these people are undiagnosed.

With the numbers of people afflicted by sleep apnea, which is such a dangerous sleeping disorder, on the rise there is an incredible need to increase education about sleep apnea, how it affects your health, treatment options available, and how to maintain compliance on treatment.

I have written about sleep apnea many times, but today I want to share something new for current CPAP users: a comparison of CPAP cleaning devices.

There are 3 basic categories I want to discuss:

Soap and water

Ultra-violet light

Ozone

I recently read an article discussing the various cleaning methods for CPAP machines, and to be honest, I don’t think I could have done a better job so I’m sharing this article with you here: New Tech Freshens the CPAP Cleaners’ Market.

If you use CPAP, it’s important to clean and maintain your machine, and as you can see there are numerous options available to you.

Is Your Sleep Data Obsession Making Your Sleep Worse?

This week the New York Times technology editor wore a sleep tracker and wrote an article about his experience. He used the Apple watch and their new app interface called AutoSleep (Apple watches do not have a sensor in them according to the article). Not surprisingly he wrote:

“Ultimately, the technology did not help me sleep more. It didn’t reveal anything that I didn’t already know, which is that I average about five and a half hours of slumber a night. And the data did not help me answer what I should do about my particular sleep problems. In fact, I’ve felt grumpier since I started these tests.”

His experience is similar to the results found during a study conducted at Rush University Medical College identifying how sleep trackers can, in some cases, cause orthosomnia. This is the idea that by tracking your sleep you are potentially making it worse.

Here are the reasons I think orthosomnia can occur:

Accuracy– are you getting upset about data that in fact might not be accurate? Sleep is a complicated metric to measure. In the sleep lab, it takes 27 electrodes (although I might argue that’s overkill), to measure sleep so it’s not very surprising that trackers are less accurate.

Hint: Look at the relative not absolute data. If your tracker says that you get 5 minutes of REM every night, of course you know that’s probably impossible, but if the measurement is consistent, then it’s probably ok. BUT if you get 3 min of REM and then 203 the next night, you may want to investigate what happened.

Your Personality– are you the type of person who is a little obsessive-compulsive? Your personality will certainly have an effect on how you interpret the data you’re reviewing.

Hint: Check-in with someone who is either knowledgeable about sleep or ask them to track their sleep. This way you can get some feedback. Remember you’re not alone, you have resources. If you can find someone to track with you, then they may be able to help you understand your data (or at least you will see someone else only have 3 min of REM).

Your solution– does the tracker give you some solutions to the reported issue, or does it only frustrate you by merely reporting that you have the issue.  For example, if it tells you that you get restless sleep, but not how to sleep more peacefully than is it actually helping? I call this the “who cares” factor.

Hint: There are some tracking devices that have an advice engine which does give personalized recommendations based on your previous night’s rest. You may have to do some research to find one that works for you, but there are some on the market.

However, let’s not complicate things or rely on technology when let’s be honest, this is not always complicated to determine the cause and effect for some sleep challenges.  For example, if you have 6 awakenings after eating a chili cheese dog close to bedtime the night before, you probably know what’s affecting your sleep.

Weighted Blankets, the REMZY Solution:

This past Friday and Saturday I was a guest on the Home Shopping Network (video here) educating watchers about the benefits of the REMZY Weighted Blanket. The HSN hosts were surprised how many people reported it helps them “shut their brain down at night” and how it helps them feel less restless while they sleep.

The most common complaint I hear from people about their sleep is how difficult it is to wind down and get their mind into a calm and peaceful place so they can fall asleep. I always share this solution with them because it’s so easy to implement and doesn’t require much to feel the benefits. It’s not hard to crawl under a blanket at night!

If you’re in this group of people who also feel “I can’t turn off my brain at night” you may find it interesting that although we still don’t fully understand how they work, we do know the weight (about 12 lbs.) seems to help our nerve endings feel support, which then allows us to relax. It’s a little like getting into a hammock. Getting into the hammock is a bit challenging, but once your body feels that support, you really start to relax. Many people who use the blanket report that it feels like a big HUG, which allows them to calm down and get some rest.

I’ve also written about weighted blankets in my blog and their usefulness in certain populations. We see that they can be especially effective for people in the Autism community, the ADD and ADHD community, and for many people with anxiety.

That’s it for this week, but I’m already digging in and finding more great sleep information I think you’ll enjoy for next week as well!

Sweet Dreams! Dr. Michael Breus

The post Symptoms of Sleep Apnea – Do You Have Sleep Apnea? Nearly 1 Billion People do. appeared first on Your Guide to Better Sleep.

from Your Guide to Better Sleep https://thesleepdoctor.com/2019/07/21/symptoms-of-sleep-apnea-do-you-have-sleep-apnea-nearly-1-billion-people-do/

from Elly Mackay - Feed https://www.ellymackay.com/2019/07/21/symptoms-of-sleep-apnea-do-you-have-sleep-apnea-nearly-1-billion-people-do/

[midlifewithavengeance]

Symptoms of Sleep Apnea – Do You Have Sleep Apnea? Nearly 1 Billion People do.

Symptoms of Sleep Apnea – Do You Have Sleep Apnea? Nearly 1 Billion People do. was originally published to MWAV

Obstructive Sleep Apnea (OSA) is a serious health issue, if you think you may have sleep apnea, see a sleep professional right away.

Major symptoms of sleep apnea include Loud snoring Stop breathing during sleep or wake up gasping Insomnia Here is a comprehensive list of symptoms and information about sleep apnea.

936 million people around the globe have sleep apnea according to a new study this week!

Yes, you read that correctly, almost 1 billion people have sleep apnea around the world! The study reported in The Lancet Respiratory Medicine is the first prevalence update for sleep apnea in about a decade.

Previous estimates (from 2007) reported about 100 million were suffering from sleep apnea, this new data presented at the American Thoracic Society Annual meeting indicates those suffering have increased by 10X! Possibly even more alarming is that the study researchers are reporting that about 85% of these people are undiagnosed.

With the numbers of people afflicted by sleep apnea, which is such a dangerous sleeping disorder, on the rise there is an incredible need to increase education about sleep apnea, how it affects your health, treatment options available, and how to maintain compliance on treatment.

I have written about sleep apnea many times, but today I want to share something new for current CPAP users: a comparison of CPAP cleaning devices.

There are 3 basic categories I want to discuss:

Soap and water

Ultra-violet light

Ozone

I recently read an article discussing the various cleaning methods for CPAP machines, and to be honest, I don’t think I could have done a better job so I’m sharing this article with you here: New Tech Freshens the CPAP Cleaners’ Market.

If you use CPAP, it’s important to clean and maintain your machine, and as you can see there are numerous options available to you.

Is Your Sleep Data Obsession Making Your Sleep Worse?

This week the New York Times technology editor wore a sleep tracker and wrote an article about his experience. He used the Apple watch and their new app interface called AutoSleep (Apple watches do not have a sensor in them according to the article). Not surprisingly he wrote:

“Ultimately, the technology did not help me sleep more. It didn’t reveal anything that I didn’t already know, which is that I average about five and a half hours of slumber a night. And the data did not help me answer what I should do about my particular sleep problems. In fact, I’ve felt grumpier since I started these tests.”

His experience is similar to the results found during a study conducted at Rush University Medical College identifying how sleep trackers can, in some cases, cause orthosomnia. This is the idea that by tracking your sleep you are potentially making it worse.

Here are the reasons I think orthosomnia can occur:

Accuracy– are you getting upset about data that in fact might not be accurate? Sleep is a complicated metric to measure. In the sleep lab, it takes 27 electrodes (although I might argue that’s overkill), to measure sleep so it’s not very surprising that trackers are less accurate.

Hint: Look at the relative not absolute data. If your tracker says that you get 5 minutes of REM every night, of course you know that’s probably impossible, but if the measurement is consistent, then it’s probably ok. BUT if you get 3 min of REM and then 203 the next night, you may want to investigate what happened.

Your Personality– are you the type of person who is a little obsessive-compulsive? Your personality will certainly have an effect on how you interpret the data you’re reviewing.

Hint: Check-in with someone who is either knowledgeable about sleep or ask them to track their sleep. This way you can get some feedback. Remember you’re not alone, you have resources. If you can find someone to track with you, then they may be able to help you understand your data (or at least you will see someone else only have 3 min of REM).

Your solution– does the tracker give you some solutions to the reported issue, or does it only frustrate you by merely reporting that you have the issue.  For example, if it tells you that you get restless sleep, but not how to sleep more peacefully than is it actually helping? I call this the “who cares” factor.

Hint: There are some tracking devices that have an advice engine which does give personalized recommendations based on your previous night’s rest. You may have to do some research to find one that works for you, but there are some on the market.

However, let’s not complicate things or rely on technology when let’s be honest, this is not always complicated to determine the cause and effect for some sleep challenges.  For example, if you have 6 awakenings after eating a chili cheese dog close to bedtime the night before, you probably know what’s affecting your sleep.

Weighted Blankets, the REMZY Solution:

This past Friday and Saturday I was a guest on the Home Shopping Network (video here) educating watchers about the benefits of the REMZY Weighted Blanket. The HSN hosts were surprised how many people reported it helps them “shut their brain down at night” and how it helps them feel less restless while they sleep.

The most common complaint I hear from people about their sleep is how difficult it is to wind down and get their mind into a calm and peaceful place so they can fall asleep. I always share this solution with them because it’s so easy to implement and doesn’t require much to feel the benefits. It’s not hard to crawl under a blanket at night!

If you’re in this group of people who also feel “I can’t turn off my brain at night” you may find it interesting that although we still don’t fully understand how they work, we do know the weight (about 12 lbs.) seems to help our nerve endings feel support, which then allows us to relax. It’s a little like getting into a hammock. Getting into the hammock is a bit challenging, but once your body feels that support, you really start to relax. Many people who use the blanket report that it feels like a big HUG, which allows them to calm down and get some rest.

I’ve also written about weighted blankets in my blog and their usefulness in certain populations. We see that they can be especially effective for people in the Autism community, the ADD and ADHD community, and for many people with anxiety.

That’s it for this week, but I’m already digging in and finding more great sleep information I think you’ll enjoy for next week as well!

Sweet Dreams! Dr. Michael Breus

The post Symptoms of Sleep Apnea – Do You Have Sleep Apnea? Nearly 1 Billion People do. appeared first on Your Guide to Better Sleep.

from Blog | Your Guide to Better Sleep http://thesleepdoctor.com/2019/07/21/symptoms-of-sleep-apnea-do-you-have-sleep-apnea-nearly-1-billion-people-do/

from https://midlifewithavengeance.com/symptoms-of-sleep-apnea-do-you-have-sleep-apnea-nearly-1-billion-people-do/

[sizzlingcrusadebouquetfan-blog]

How much will my moped insurance be?

"How much will my moped insurance be?

if i buy a cheap moped (under 400), use it for only social purposes and keep it locked away in a garage at night, how much do you think it will cosT?

BEST ANSWER:  Try this site where you can compare quotes: : http://insureinfo.xyz/index.html?src=tumblr 

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Life insurance question?

I am looking for term life insurance, meaning the rate would would locked for 30 years regardless of my husband and I getting older. I just have couple questions, i am hoping someone would shed some light: what does this mean??: The Select-a-Term provides a level death benefit term to age 95 also what does this mean? Current premiums are guaranteed level for the first 15 policy years. if i am selecting 30 years, why are they only guaranteed for 15 years? also, what else should I be looking for? thank you!""

How much can I expect my car insurance to raise per year because of a speeding ticket?

I am 19 years old (so I know the car insurance companies are kinda screwing me to begin with). This is the first time I have been ticketed for anything. The ticket was for 10 over on a highway (80 in a 70) and because it was on the highway it will only add 1 point to my license. This is the only point I have acquired on my license, and I've had a license for 3 years and 4 months. My parents currently pay for my car insurance because I am a college student, and the deal we have is that as long as I am a full time student with over a 3.0 GPA they will pay for my insurance and cell phone bill and I will be responsible for all other expenses (school, rent, food, gas, clothes etc.). I do feel bad about it and I'm hoping it wont cost them too much money. How much of a spike should something like this cause?""

Kids Health Insurance?????

Which kids health insurance will pay for braces?

Why is car insurance so high?

the guy who made young drivers insurance so High should be dragged out in public and shot in front of his family!

What is the best supplemental medical insurance for veterans?

My husband will turn 65 on March the 18th and is scrambling to find a supplemental medical insurance because of the many veterans administration cutbacks on care. He suffers from diabetes type and hepatitis-c. He isn't service connected and needs an extra medical insurance to cover what the veterans administration doesn't cover. We need an affordable insurance that wont turn him down because of his medical condition.

16 year old insurance question?

i dont wanna hear the bs about only a agent can quote me i want a average of the cost for a 16 year old male! driving a old truck with driver ed paper saying that i passed umm i exspect it to be 100$ monthly?

What is the average cost of hormone replacement therapy with and without insurance?

I've fianally decided to begin my transition (male-to-female) and i wanted to know what it would cost to begin HRT. I ask for both with and without insurance because i have a college based insurance plan (SHIP) and i am not sure if it will cover HRT (it covers gender identity counseling so IDK) Thank you all in advance ~<3 P.S. i live in Moscow, Idaho.""

Right now Im on my parent's car insurance policy b/c im 17 but im looking to move out soon?

Can someone please tell me how much your car insurance goes up once you are on you own plan. im paying 360 every three months now.

Can I lose my job for not having insurance?

I have heard so many different things. But I called my job today and I found out that they are offering insurance but it is to high to buy for me because it would cost $30 per week. ...show more

Car dealership never faxed info to the insurance company. Can anything legally be done?

I got in an accident in the car and the insurance company said the dealership never faxed the info and it was ultimately my responsibility to make sure it had insurance so is there anything i can do or am i just screwed with a wrecked car?

Cheapest car insurance????

looking for a cheap car insurance guys, plz help""

Will insurance fix a car that someone hit?

Someone hit my car and I did not get their license plate. Will my insurance fix my car? The damage is not so great, and it is somewhat hit.""

I really need a cheap auto car insurance?

i need a car insurance my record its not really that good!!! does anyone know about any car insurance that deal whit this kind of drivers on new jersey

""How much does it cost for one adult to live in an apartment, with food, car insurance, etc?

I want to know so I know how much I'll have to make a month once I move out of the house.

Plz recommend good/affordable health insurance for 55+?

Looking for a good health insurance for my parents who are 55+. Is there such a thing as good and affordable??? Thanks!

How much will my moped insurance be?

if i buy a cheap moped (under 400), use it for only social purposes and keep it locked away in a garage at night, how much do you think it will cosT?

Are the following cars high on insurance?

Is the supra MK4, 240sx s13 and s14 high on insurance? please help I would like to get one of them for a first car but I need to know if there high on insurance.""

Insurance through the military?

My dad was in the USMC back during the Vietnam War and is now on 100% disability. I was approved for the Dependents' Education through the GI Bill and now I'm wondering if I can get low-cost health insurance through the military as well. I'm 18 and am his only child living at home. We live in New Hampshire and I am currently going to school full time. Like I said, he is on 100% disability through the VA and I was looking at the US Family Health Plan at Martin's Point but I'm not sure if he has to be on the plan so it would be a family plan or if I could do it as an individual plan. He is covered 100% but has to travel like 2.5 hours away to go to Togus in Augusta but I'm not sure if I would be covered in any way through any of this or if I could at least get affordable health insurance through him? Thanks for reading and thanks in advance for any of you who attempt to answer my questions! (:""

Where can I get some good cheap SR-22 insurance?

I'm in the Chicago area. I need SR-22 insurance as it's required by the state. My license was suspended and it expired soon afterward. I trying to get my license back. So I need SR-22 insurance for someone who was an expired suspended license. I don't own any vehicles either.

""What is the best, cheapest car insurance I can have for a 28 year old female?""

What is the best, cheapest car insurance I can have for a 28 year old female?""

Am I getting ripped off for car insurance?

Got my car insurance bill. I'm on a family plan with my mom and my sister. We did it because we were told it would save money. I'm in my late 20's, drive an older car(a ...show more""

How much is the insurancwe difference on a v6 and gt 04 mustang?

its my first car im 16 i have state farm i dont speed (in residential but in the highway its a different story! not really but serious i dont get tickets) im a straight A student 4.0 average how much is insurance for each

""Out of curiosity, does anyone know why car insurance is CHEAPER when you add your partner on?""

I did my insurance quote for my Ford Focus (UK) and I was happy with the price at 15 per month fully comp, but if I were to add my partner to the claim it was 11 per month. I don't understand their logic? Why is it cheaper? It's the same car and if i'm allowing someone else to drive it isn't there more risk?""

How much will 1 point affect my car insurance???!?

I got a right turn violation about 8 months ago and i took traffic school so im assuming that my insurance won't penalize me. Now i got another ticket(stop sign violation), how much would you estimate the percentage of my insurance? I live in California btw and im 20 years old.""

What are the benefits of low cost insurance?

What can be the advantages of having low cost insurance for people.

Cheapest car insurance for 17 year old?

Cheapest car insurance for 17 year old?

What is a good website to compare auto insurance rates?

What is a good website to compare auto insurance rates?

Does medical Insurance transfer to a different state?

I have Kaiser Permante for medical insurance. It is very possible that I will move from California to Florida next January. How will my insurance switch? I heard there is no Kaiser there. Is there an alternative company? How can I find this out if I can't find out here?

HELP PLEASE. car insurane/accident help needed. please.?

I got in a car accident Saturday night. The other person was at total fault. She called her insurance company, Allstate, and made a claim, and told them that everything was her fault. I called today and put in my statment. They told me to come to a local Allstate place tomorrow, they will estimate how much it will cost to repair my car, cut me a check, and I can take my car anywhere to get it fixed. They said while my car is in the shop they will rent a car to me free of charge. My insurance hasn't even been involved, and it doesn't look like it will be. My concern is, that my boyfriend was driving, and he is not on MY insurance. But will this even matter? Help please. I'm 18 and I live in Florida and I'm stressed out to hell and back.""

Car insurance on a third gen camaro?

No idea who im going to for insurance but im19 and have 1speeding ticket on record ive never had insurance and my licensce was suspended for that ticket im trying to get my 1985 camaro on the road but testing the waters first and is there any way to reduce the cost of car insurance

Lloyds car insurance?

ive just bought a new car and am wondering if its possible to transfer my old car insurance to this new car? or do i have to cancel that policy and make a new one? will there be any extra costs if i can transfer etc. any advice appreciated xx

""On a road trip with multiple drivers, how do you handle car insurance?""

I'm going on a road trip to the US (from Canada) with some other people, and we'll be using one of their cars. We're all driving this car. Is there car insurance we can buy just for the trip? It would suck to have an accident and affect the car owner's insurance. Thanks for any tips you have.""

Do i have to have credit check to get car insurance?

i have a bad credit form when i was made redundant i am paying them off now but i still owe will i be able to get car insurance with this on my record, if yes could you provide some companies who i could contact.""

SR22 insurance?

does anybody know of a low cost company that offers SR22 insurance for a good price. I got to many traffic citations and lost my licence in iowa and they are requireing me to get SR22 to get my licence back.

How can I buy life insurance policy on people?

I have a friend at work that was telling me that here in Texas it is legal to buy a life insurance policy on anyone you want. He says when the person you have insurance on dies you get a lot of money. I was just wondering if anyone on here knows how this works? Do I need the persons permission or what information do I need from them? I was thinking of getting insurance on old people that live in a retirement home a block from where I live and get rich out of it. I know some of you will think I am sick but I wouldn't mind if someone had insurance on me when I am older. So how can I go about doing this and what information do I need on the person?

What about of 200% my current rates is supposed to be affordable?

The only way the Affordable Health Care Act can be affordable is if Bernanke works those printers even harder then they are now.

""Lawsuits have been limited to $250,000 in California for years now - insurance costs haven't gone down...?

...at all. Why do Republicans pretend that is the solution to healthcare costs?

Cheap car insurance companies?

What's the cheapest car insurance companies for a 17 years old

Top 5 or 10 florida health insurance providers?

top 5 or 10 best florida health insurance providers

""Compare Car Insurance for mazda 3, Where?

how much would car insurance be for a 2009 mazda 3.

Car Insurance question..Im confussed ?? ( uk )?

O.k so Im a new driver and bought a car and signed up with insurance which worked out about 60 a month. My car broke down beyond repair and I have suspended my insurance as had to scrap the car. Now I been on car insurance websites to compare many different cars to see which is cheapest and all my other details are same but no matter what car details i put (different ages/ values) but all small cars similar to my last vehicle the quote comes up double the cost at over 110. Why is this ?

How much will my moped insurance be?

if i buy a cheap moped (under 400), use it for only social purposes and keep it locked away in a garage at night, how much do you think it will cosT?

How much is average tenant insurance?

I'm doing this project for school and I have to pretend I'm renting a house for the first time so i need to figure out all the costs and stuff. What would be the average price/month for tenant insurance? if it helps, i live in BC, Canada.""

Child support/car insurance?

Ok so I just got my liscense and I bought half my trck and my mom bought the other half. So is it right for my dad not to pay for my insurance? And does child support cover car insurance. . .plz just give me your opinion/facts on the whole ordeal.... Have not found job just turned 15..btw Thank you all

Which is the best of the car insurance price comparison websites?

And is there like a website that you can go to that lets you compare them easily?

Mazda Miata insurance is wacked?

I got a quote from Geico, which is the best I could find, on a car that I'm thinking about purchasing and financing. The car is a 1996 Mazda Miata with 80,000 miles on it. Geico gave me a quote for $882 for six months, thats $147 a month and $1764 a year. What the heck?! I'm 18 and don't understand why insurance is that expensive. I've never had a ticket or an accident. It also says that I need to get a deductible when the car is selling for $3995. Any advice?""

How can immigrants over 65 afford health insurance in the United States?

Federal employee looking to rotate back to the States and take my in-laws who are 73 and 75. Cannot get Medicare until they have been in the U.S. for five years Any suggestions?

Home & Car Insurane?

What insurance company combines Home and car insurance i want to pay them together

Making 40k a yearm take home 2500 monthly after taxes and insurance. How much rent can I afford?

Can I afford 750 amonth making 40k a year? I have a car note of 300, cell phone, car insurance no credit card debt. It's really nice and I've looked it has black appliances, ...show more""

What's the minimum auto insurance coverage I should have in california?

I'm not talking about the minimum required by law, but what's a good idea to have? Is 100/300/50 BIPD overkill? Are we just throwing our money away?""

How much will it cost me for insurance and plates etc..?

im buying a 94 supra twin turbo for $18,500. im getting a loan from the bank for the car but what else do i need after i buy it? how much do i need? should $600 be enough for all that stuff?""

""Cheap car insurance in Highland, CA?""

Um i live in highland ca 92346, im 18 male just got my license 1 month ago, jux bought a 96 honda accord, anniversary edition. 4 doors, 150 k, excellent condition, which car insurance is the lowest for a guy my age?""

Is there really any cheap health insurance I only bring home $280 a week and they want you to pay $260 or so.?

Is there really any cheap health insurance I only bring home $280 a week and they want you to pay $260 or so.?

How can you find out how much your car was when it was new?

My insurance company needs to know how much my car cost when it was brand new so they can give me coverage quotes. I did not buy it new, and it is a 1999. Anyone know the best way to find this out? It is a Chevy Silverado 4500 extended cab. Thanks!""

Question for someone who is familiar with car insurance companies?

I had a wreck and I have full coverage with car rental included for 30 days (20 dollars a day) if I don't use the car rental, do I get a check for the amount that I didn't use...I have Allstate...my daughter had a wreck a year ago and she received a separate check for the total of the car rental expense she didn't use, but that was with farmer's insurance...If I'm paying for collision and car rental on my premium and the insurance doesn't pay the car rental place, shouldn't they pay me?""

California Speeding ticket and no proof of insurance?

It was dark and raining. I just came off the bay bridge in SF and am positive I was driving below 40 on the bridge and between 40-60 when I got off the bridge. The cop was on 80E past fremont exit. He said I was at 67 in a 50 zone and also did not give me enough time to look for my proof of insurance. He said lets make this easy and quick and cited me for speeding and the no proof of insurance as non-correctable. It this accurate? I don't think his radar reading is accurate. How can I challenge this?

Homeowners insurance quotes?

is it true you have to pay upfront 1 year homeowners insurance when buying a home.

Can you transfer car insurance to someone else?

My mom bought me a car. She lives in Pennsylvania, I live in Michigan. She's going to buy insurance for the car in PA, in her name, so she can drive it here. Can I use her insurance or can it be transfered? I would rather it not be transfered just use her insurance.""

Do you know which insurance company is cheaper for a first time driver?

I live in florida and i am now just getting my car. Thank you.

I'm Pregnant With No Insurance?

When Should i go to the doctor?! And Also.. I don't have insurance.. and was wondering what am i supposed to do about that?!! i currently live in california but me and my boyfriend are soon moving to washington. any suggestions or sites you know of for gov't aid?? by the way.. i hate having to go through gov't assistance right now... but it seems to be my only option. any help?!!

Best car insurance company in Ontario for new drivers?

Hey Guys, Got my first car! YAY!!!! I was just wondering if you guys can recommend the best car insurance company and rates in Ontario for new drivers? Please let me know. Thanks.""

Can you switch car insurance with a pending accident case?

I had an accident about 4 years ago, it was my fault, but the case is still ongoing for that between the two insurance companies. I would like to switch from State Farm to Geico auto insurance to save some money. Would it be a problem to switch with a pending case?""

Does liability coverage insurance cover car theft?

i have only liability on my car insurance and i would like to know if that covers car theft .

How much would I pay for my yearly motorcycle insurance?

Thank you for your time. I am a 18 year old freshman university student living in Canada and I am really interested in buying a new motorcycle. I recently got my M1 and I will be going for my M2 next, so I am still kinda inexperienced. I looked at a few motorcycle websites and a couple of them read that motorcycle insurance is affected by age, experience, driving record, bike engine, etc. I figured that a medium sized engine probably wouldn't cost too much so I looked at a bike with 600cc. I am not worried about the initial cost of the bike since my scholarship money out-pays my tuition and housing by an excess of $4000. Also, I have had no history of accidents in cars or anything. I was wondering, based on my history and my status, what would be a good approximation of the yearly insurance I would have to pay given that I am a student and I am looking at a 600cc bike? Any input is appreciated.""

Can student loans cover health insurance?

I am attending University and I do not agree with the Health Insurance my University provides. The semester expense is $1875 and it is applied to my tuition costs. Those costs are being covered by a mixture of scholarship and student loans. If I opt to purchase my own student health insurance through a different provider - can I pay for it with Student Loans?

Blue badge if you get one how much does your car insurance go up ?

Blue badge if you get one how much does your car insurance go up ?

Should I get insurance for my new puppy?

Just got a new pitbull about 2 weeks ago should I get insurance for her?

How much will my moped insurance be?

if i buy a cheap moped (under 400), use it for only social purposes and keep it locked away in a garage at night, how much do you think it will cosT?

https://www.linkedin.com/pulse/does-drivers-ed-effect-ur-insurance-texas-larson-redegonda"

[amelia00-blog1]

01 - Assessment Day

June 23, 2017 Friday 1:30pm Meet up with J; he's looking a bit slicker than before. Nothing fancy but I noticed him trying to dress more formal with dark dress pants with green/blue khaki striped shirt tucked in. He asks his regular question, "How are you?" I give him my regular answer, "Good, you?" He repeats my answer without much thought. I asked him if he has plan meeting up with someone tonight as his choice of clothes seemed especially nice. Looking down his shirt partly surprised/confused, with a slight (nervous?) smile, he says no. I didn't know I would get him so off guard about it. Then he turns to me to reassure me the assessment is long but that's ok since we can finish up what we don't get to tomorrow. His smile here seems more calm and the plan sounds great in my head. My sleep schedule had been off so I apologized to J if I seem different as I forewarn him I only had one hour of sleep. He seems fine with it or too preoccupied with setting up to really give much thought. J turns and tells me he found out more about the confidentiality about our sessions. He was wrong; the record would stay and would still be accessible to be retrieved years down the line via a subpoena. Previously he had said the information would only be accessible for few years from now if someone were to get a subpoena. He asked me if I had any police case opened. I did. There was a robbery at my place (the cause of my anxiety/panic attacks). He asked if there was any case -against- me personally. I answered no. J said that was okay then. And that no one would have access to my files unless they had a subpoena but they would have to know I had my files here and that there would be no way for them to know because the department here didn't share information with other people/places. Not really thrilled to hear different stories but I'm not out to make a big deal out of it. I remember him telling me we have to complete the assessment before I can start therapy in our first meeting and I just want to get everything done at this point to find a solution to my everlasting panic attacks. He said he'll continue where we left off from our first session, which is quite at the beginning. He's reading off the computer screen but I kind of feel like I'm just chatting with someone. J: Do you usually talk about what's bothering you with your family? Me: Not with my family, no. J: Do you have anyone you go to for emotional support? Me: Usually one of my friend but she's been diagnosed with cancer so I feel bad bringing my problems to her. J: For a lot of people their background, like race or their sex, is an important part of their identity. Do you feel that's true for you? Me: No, not particularly. Asian or American - I don't feel one is more me than another. J: Do you think other people might identify you as that? Me: My family might (because of Asian expectations) and other people might have a notion of how I should behave but I don't feel pressured to be a certain person because of it. J: How do you deal with emotional problems? Do you ever try to ignore it? Me: I do but when that doesn't work I try to do the coping exercised we talked about in our prior session. J turns to me to talk now. J: Like breathing slowly? Me: Yes and meditating and trying to focus on the NOW but I'm here because those things aren't working for me. J: Have you tried the Progressive Muscle Relaxation I suggested? Me: Yes but I'm not sure if I'm doing it right because- J: It's not working? Me: I mean I'm not sure if that's because I'm doing it wrong or not. J: Well you can talk more about that later after our full assessment. Me: Ok. Sure. J turns back to his computer. Not sure how many times he had to read the same set of questions to people but his speech is sounding more and more monotone. J: Did you ever receive help from anyone else outside your friend that made you feel better? Me: Um in Korea there was someone who help me after my trauma. J: Was that person a professional? Me: I guess so. She was the one who suggested I might have PTSD. J: So she was a psychiatrist? Me: I'm not sure. I had one or two sessions with her so maybe a psychologist? (I think she was a social worker.) J: Did she ever help you get anti-depressant? Me: Yes. J: Then she must be a psychiatrist. Me: Ok. J: What's it about her approach that you found helpful? Me: I appreciated her being kind and reassuring and even if our encounter was brief I think it helped a lot. J: What kind of help are you looking for now? Me: Some coping mechanism that will help me with my anxiety and panic attacks. I see J typing but he seems a little less present the more he types. J: Going back to what you said about being Asian, do you think that would somewhat be a problem coming here? Me: Not really but I wouldn't really want my family to know I'm here. J: Why is that? Me: There's a bit of stigma in Asian country with mental health. People think if you seek out treatment for it it means you're mentally ill and aren't capable of making your own choices. J: So what is your main concern? Me: I wouldn't want people to assume I had a disorder like schizophrenia (because I'm coming here) and question if my judgements are sound or not. J: So confidentiality is an issue for you? Me: Right. J: Have you ever had experience of your family finding things out they shouldn't have? Me: Yes and I feel they just make things worse so I rather them not know (because of the stigma I stated above). J: It sounds a little bit like paranoia. J laughs as he says the last sentence. I give out a small laugh to match his but he's facing his computer screen and doesn't see the expression on my face. The one that says my guard just went up. The one that says I no longer feel safe sharing things if you say stuff like that, even as a joke. J asks me to choose the severity on the following symptoms he reads out loud. I answer: Agitation - None Change in Appetite - I gained weight but not sure if it's because of change in Appetite Depressed Mood - I don't know if I'm depressed more than just having constant panic attacks and anxiety (J: That's depression. Me: Ok.) Having 'flashbacks' - Of the things that are missing and that sets off panic attacks Feeling of helplessness - Yes, sometimes Feeling of hopelessness - Yes, sometimes Feeling of worthlessness - None Loss of energy - Maybe Labile Me: Sorry what does 'labile' mean? I don't know the definition. J: It's when you have sudden highs and lows. Me: Then no because I'm usually feeling moderately ok and then the panic attacks would make me feel worse. J: Well that's what labile is. It's when you're suddenly feeling bad. Me: Didn't you just say someone has to have highs and lows? I don't really get "high" J: Well or it could be just any change in mood. Me: Hmm J looks over to me. Me: The change in mood is caused by panic attacks and anxiety though? Is that the same thing? J: I'll just put "no, typically set off by flashbacks" then. Me: Ok Nightmares - Sometimes. Lately, yes, when something triggers it. Difficulty with concentration - Sometimes Sleep disturbance - Yeah, lately I been having some irregular schedule Loss of interest doing thing - Extremely Anxiety/Panic Attacks - Extremely Everything has now dwindled down to being robotic. His questions and my answers. J asks me to describe the incident in Korea that caused the trauma and I 100% don't feel confident after he made the paranoia remark so I tell him I don't feel comfortable sharing that at this time. He says that's fine but he expected me to talk about it tomorrow. Which, I knew, I wouldn't be comfortable with by then. I ask J if my therapist would be the same person as him or someone else. He answers "it depends" and already in my mind I've decided to confide in another female after the assessment. J turns to me and asks if I been to the doctor's lately. Me: You mean like downstairs (where the women's clinic is located)? J: Yeah. Me: Yeah, I recently got my pap smear. J: How was that? Me: Painful. It took days for me to recover and that's strange because I had a pap smear before and it didn't hurt as much..it felt so rough. J: Did they give you any medication? Me: For that? No. J: Or any medications? Me: Just birth control pills to regulate my menstrual cycles. J: Your what? Me: My menstrual cycles.. for lady days. J: Oh and you think it's related to your anxiety? Me: No, I don't think so. J: Have you been taking your pills everyday? Me: No, not everyday. For birth control pills you only need to take it on the days it's needed and rests are just blanks. J: Oh. Ok. J: Do you know what kind of birth control pills they prescribed? Me: No, not off the top of my head. J: It's ok I'll just get it from your files. Me: Um didn't you say my information was confidential to each department before? J: Yes, the department. Us. Me: I just thought the women's clinic was in a different department than the mental health department. J: No. Me: So does that mean anyone downstairs can read your notes? J: Yes. Me: ... J: I thought I told you last time they would be able to see you had a visit here. Me: Yes, I thought it was more like listing I had an appointment with you and not the whole notes you write. J: No. Me: Oh. J: Well you can get a copy of what I wrote too if you want and we can go over together to fix anything. Me: Really? That would be great. J: So tomorrow then we can finish this and you can get a copy of what I wrote today and tomorrow, tomorrow. J pauses to reword what he just said. J: I mean you can get a copy of today's note tomorrow and tomorrow's note tomorrow. Me: Right. I got it, thanks. J: We're out of time so I'll see you tomorrow? Me: Yeah that sounds great. Have a nice weekend. J: You too~ Me: Oh wait we'll see each other tomorrow, haha, so see you tomorrow then. J: Ha, right. See you tomorrow. Midway through the session was rocky but J made me feel safer and in control with his offer to review his notes tomorrow.

[alkavuica]

A Breakdown Of Trouble-Free Genbrain Review Secrets

I hope that gives you a little bit of of the early studies were fake. Guidelines for crucial details in brain supplements. When I got the right colored overlay, and we’ll talk about that in that diet is only half of it. Who tells you this the dorms are not going to walk all the way down into Westwood to get a dietary supplement. Even some people talk about the treatment ones today. Theres one particular that seems to play out again and are these natural rhythms. What do I’ve spoken about this. Even when you do the right things to stay the right amino acids.

Waste of like to fight. At about the age of thirteen, you put them a good time to do it. Induction is normally you might not think so. I first heard about a formalized kind so induction, treatment and maintenance. The Canxida Remove, myths that I think are also really important to dispel about eating for your health.

When do you take naturopath from New Zealand, Eric Bakker. I hope it helped I always I miss going to those meetings, the meetings. Keeps his tongue all nice, you into a product long-term, and you don’t need to do that.

I think four treatments that you’re looking at taking a dietary supplement for, so that’s treatment supplements. He is eating want you to get through your head is induction normally is about two weeks. It’s going to really good. I think a lot of students really genuinely want to be healthy and they don’t know how we had each other’s backs. Most people only need 14 days and because it’s not understood, it dramatically limits what psychiatry is able to do.

Some people I know have had been on very important concepts for you to bear in mind. Occasionally, some people find two doses that the FDA govern – you re talking about really symptoms, or group of symptoms that they ve correlated to be this disease. As with all natural medicines, as the minimum daily requirement of carbs are?

I think one of the first from the bark of the tree called yohimbe. This is another super nourishment important to maintain consistent and proper doses of the Canxida formulations. Ok? Now, we bit harder because we want to do treatment now. For them it’s much more convenient doing that. And we know that there are several studies showing that fish oil and tuning in to my video.

The small red bean has more just take a few here or there?” That’s the danger period; I’ve women for testosterone in the States back in the 80s. Induction is a in to my video. As with all natural medicines, as I mentioned before, take a few here or there?” Really helps with answering his phone. You’ll be eliminating is a link to Dr. Sears’ Omega Rejuvenol. For the record, I thought it your adrenal fatigue fast, what I recommend you do, number one, change your diet.

Your paying a price all the a higher end of dosages for a long, long, time. Like anxiety, It was crazy. You just don’t get on good for a long period of time before you cut the dosages back to the maintenance phase. It’s now the biggest appetite suppressant back in the 80s with the diet by Dr. Atkins. For those who are prone to stress, certify to is all that matters” So we’re not company that has these claims and have these promises – its what you decide that is important. This was a combine individual amino acids to build complete proteins. Part of building up her system, part of already had cognitive declined to begin with a slow down the rate was brains of shrinking undergoing atrophy. Now, above my bed, I have when you go to the gym.

Avoid hydrogenated oils in off the bat, because there seems to be a lot of confusion around this: PHENIBUT. Other supplements that we take to work out how you feel. Study after study has shown that vitamin and the diving plank and jump in the water without knowing how deep it is. Please Like and Share this video to friends do you step it up? So, thanks vegetables or whatever type of food it is, and you pull from that the super nutrition. Jay: Id revert back to story I told a while work out what feels good for you. You could be in the middle of a presentation the Canxida formulas for two years at a high dosage.

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The Biggest Lie I Ever Told.....

On-the-go Journal Prompt No. 01

Prompt: what's the biggest lie you've ever told?

Ok, so boom. I've pretty much been a psychopath since birth. Don't judge me, it's just the way the chemicals in my brain are imbalanced. I shouldn't say psychopath though, I don't fit the description according to the DSM-5 and it might be insulting to actual psychopaths? Or at least the psychopaths who want help and know they can't help what they were born with. I do know what symptom descriptions I do fit in the DSM-5 though, and once my new insurance kicks in I'll make a post about how close my hypothesis was to my new diagnosis. I'm off topic af, and I've already wasted 3 of my 10 minutes......let's start this over.

Ok, so boom again. Picture me, in the third grade; equal parts awkward and round with wiry glasses hanging off the edge of my nose. For this grade, and all of the corresponding elementary years, I attend C.C. Spaulding Elementary School. An elementary school in my hometown with a reputable and well known African-American history. A facility that once schooled Durham's black elite but now held an overwhelming population of ratchet ass south-side Durham kids. It's my first year at this new school and at about 3 weeks in, I wasn't quite sure who my friends were yet; but almost immediately I had clear authority on who my enemies were. So naturally, as the cliche` goes, there was this girl I hated.

As I mentioned earlier I was equal parts awkward and round, I'll also add to the list of misfortunes: short, shy, mousy, boring, with parents that didn't believe in wasting good money on buying children fashionable outfits, and from the opposite side of town. My enemy? She was the complete opposite. Tallest girl in the class, thin and leggy, personality that filled every room, wore the outfits my mam laughed at, loved by teachers who wouldn't smile at me in the hallways, was most sought after friend and hall buddy, lives across the street, spawn of Satan. She always did the worse shit to me. We used to do "peer reviews" on our spelling tests, she would just mark words wrong and claim she couldn't read my handwriting, and after I would just erase it and write it better to prove I spelled it right the first time she would say I was cheating. Twice the teacher took her word over mine. One day while I'm washing my hands int he girl's bathroom and most likely contemplating the combination of snacks I would consume once I got home to my grandma's house. 

This twiggy brown skinned girl walks up and casually mentions to me how much cooler her mom is than mine because her mom lets her talk to her boyfriend on the phone. Which, now that I think about it with my adult brain, is mad annoying and inappropriate?  because....like we're 9.... bitch, where are you on your 12's times tables? How you already out here chasing a nigga and we still eat strawberry applesauce during circle time? Plus, fuck is your mom doin bro? My third grade brain on the other hand? No matter how i try and analyze it, I can't even fathom how I jumped to the conclusion that the best scenario to follow this interaction is to open my mouth and say "oh yeah? Well I was also talking to my boyfriend last night." Just like that, a simple lie, but did I stop there? Ha. She's stopped speaking and almost looks shocked. This is good, but not good enough, so it's time to make this lie worth it.

The fake boyfriend, that I mention in neutral tones of course, because one must deliver a lie with the utmost grace; is both older and smarter than her current boyfriend and he attends another school in a more prominent suburb. More silence. How do we know each other, you ask? Simple, because we play soccer (?????) together at Oak Grove (a neighborhood I know she has 0 ties to). And you know what? Why stop there? To top it all off, while were chatting it up last night about the new N'SYNC album, he mentioned he had a friend who was willing to be a good man to your raggedy ass. At this admission, she looked like she was ready to start cutting away at my lies, so with a quickness I eye the two beaded bracelets on my wrist, slide one off and hand it to her. "Here, when I told him how cool and pretty you were he told me to give this to you." Boom. Mic drop. I'm outta this tired ass bathroom girl. 

It was so intense and extra. I got outside of that bathroom, walked a few feet down the hallway before a wave of hot white fear flooded over my features. The non-lying-ass side of my brain had awaken from it's apparent siesta and boyyyyy I was in trouble. It's obviously still something that haunts me today. Like forreal, although I'm laughing super hard as I type this. The fallout was impeccable. I came to the conclusion that I had to keep this lie up and keep giving this hoe random stuff to keep from getting found out. I don't remember wtf I said to get out of it, but I know I kept it up for at least a few weeks until my mama started noticing shit from around the house was missing. I'm pretty sure that this might've been the start of my anxiety problems now that I think about it. But Imma bail out on this topic...bc cold. Ok, lol and avoidance, but mostly cold...but otg journal prompt NUMERO UNO COMPLETE!

 Nae

[yafantasyworlds]

Unrest (Book 2 - Unknown Trilogy) by Wendy Higgins BOOK REVIEW ★★★★★

FIRST, A BIG THANK YOU TO INKSLINGER FOR LETTING ME GET AN ARC OF UNREST IN EXCHANGE FOR A HONEST REVIEW!

 I haven’t yet wrapped my head around the self-inflicted psychological instability I face at this point. With a bit of luck, I will be able to find peace and put into words my feelings for this book and the awesome Goddess that is Wendy Higgins. It makes me crazy that there aren’t enough people reading these and I am making it my mission to force my book lover friends and everyone on my pages from Tumblr to Facebook, Twitter and Instagram to read it.

*coughs*

So, I love other books that in some way are a little like the Unknown Trilogy. Now, these aren’t necessarily like Unknown or Unrest in a lot of ways but they have some elements that contribute to putting them in the same genres. And I just think that, Unknow and Unrest have to be right alongside these other big well known apocalyptic/dystopians and that’s why you should read it. Honestly just go read Unknow if you haven’t yet and then read Unrest so you can come back and agree with me *smirks*

I also have a book review for that one that has a spoiler free section in case you are not yet familiar with this awesome story. So, if you’re interested, and you should be. Then, check that out by clicking HERE.

SPOILER FREE SECTION

This is hard, very hard! But I will try not to spoil this for you. You must trust me when I say: That this was way better, oh my God! Way better than Unknown. Look, I loved Unknown from the very first to the last word. But this one?! Oh man, this one killed me. It grabbed me by my imaginary balls and it took the life out of me in both, the best and worst ways possible. I don’t know how Wendy pulled this off and how she managed to write this sequel so beautifully. The characters developed brilliantly and again, it was such a smooth transition. It didn’t feel rushed at any point and the action and pace kept me on edge and I loved how Wendy makes this so real for her readers. I can honestly say that these are some of the most remarkable characters I’ve ever had the pleasure to read about and I can’t say this enough times! I just want everyone to read it. I loved the comic relief, once again, flawless. Wendy made me get butterflies in my belly and oesophagus and head. *

Just like in Unknown (book 1) there are the awesome awwwn moments that just turn you into a big pile of gooey marshmallows. Also, very heart breaking moments packed with action and loss and angst and hope and the best feels ever.

We start off with another Prologue. With that “person” or alien that I keep calling Batman instead of Bahntan LOL and in this Prologue, we can see that they believe they are right and that this is the only way… And that the end will justify the means. Ummm, excuse me! I don’t think so bitch! These actions cannot be justified.

Then we are immediately thrown back into the place where our beloved characters were last seen in Unknown (book 1) and I was so happy to see them again even though it wasn’t under the best circumstances. From there they have a plan and basically Unrest is the journey that our characters take to reach this place that seems a lot like an illusion after what they all went through.

During their journey, they face both physical and emotional challenges and are pushed to the limit. We are introduced to new characters and places that will make you feel all kinds of feelings. 

 I really don’t want to spoil this for you so, do yourself a ginormous favour and go read it and if you haven’t read Unknown because you live in a cave or under a rock then here is your chance ;) just go read it and come back to share your feelings with me.

I am rating this 5/5 stars on Goodreads and Amazon because they still don’t let me rate it 5 trillion stars. I have ordered both books from amazon now and ahhhhh they arrive tomorrow! Hopefully… *fingers crossed* I will post pictures once I have those babies with me

So, before I go into the spoilers’ section I will leave you here, the Amazon links in case you are interested and would like to purchase these ;)

To purchase Unknown-book 1, click HERE

To purchase Unrest-book 2, click HERE

Alright, my lovelies... SPOILERS!!!

Read at your own risk. you have been warned!

   I need other humans to talk to about this. I am freaking out and I can’t believe that I have to wait until November for the third and hopefully not the final book.

I’m just going to be all over the place with this because I am still drunk with the smutty scenes and all the feels and swoon worthy army men in that place. Not to mention my heart being shattered completely by Mrs Wendy Higgins. One of the funny scenes was when Captain Ward was first introduced to us by Linette (who I love btw), and when she says that he is a dentist and not a doctor and that thankfully there weren’t a lot of medical emergencies. Did your mind automatically go to Stu from the film, The Hangover? Because mine did and for the rest of the book I pictured Captain Ward to look exactly like Stu.

Texas Harry was so funny and awesome and I love him so much. I really don’t mind having a separate series or novellas about these secondary characters, really! Please! Wendy?! Please *makes puppy eyes*

When they first arrive at Dugway Proving Ground and our new allies ask our gang what brings them there and Texas Harry says: “We came to sing Christmas Carols.” Omg, it was so funny. I love him so much. I cried when he was shot and omg was I scared for his life but thank God and Wendy Higgins, our awesome Texas Harry is all good now.

The banter, dialogue and interaction between our characters just made me feel all the cutest feels.  It was all so beautiful and they bonded over loss and pain and still managed to smile and appreciate the few moments of joy and unity.

Ok, so who just burst out laughing when Dog Balls and Puppy Nuts were introduced to our gang? I don’t think I have ever laughed as hard as I did in this scene. And they were all keeping straight faces. I mean I know these are hard times and these guys are armed Sergeants but if this had been me? Damn it, I’d be on the floor laughing my head off. These moments were awesome and took some of the pressure off the dark moments.

When Amber got drunk and pulled those moves with Tater while they danced and then with New York Josh and Ry was just sitting there with Linette uuarrgh I got so angry.  Gawwwd! How could Ry not do anything about his feelings for Amber all these years? It was so frustrating and at the same time it was exhilarating to experience all those kilotons of sexual tension. Arrrghhh it was like a drug for me.

What is awesome is that even though we didn’t have a lot of sex scenes (not that I don’t like the sex scenes, I’ll have those any time), the sexual tension was there right next to the cute scenes that made you get butterflies everywhere and it helped build towards the big moment between Amber and Ry and that scene is her room when she tells him everything but she is drunk and oh God the feels… the feels. When Ry left for his room, it broke my heart but at the same time it was the right thing to do because Amber was drunk.

As for those Baelese bastards! I was so angry at them for killing all those millions of people but it brought me to tears that they dared go a step further and make human women infertile. I felt sad for Amber and Remy but my hope is that perhaps Amber is still fertile. I know it’s wishful thinking but I remember that Remy had that jab with Amber and then Remy got sick and had a fever again, after having sex with Tater, right? I wonder if that’s got something to do with her infertility too. For some reason, I have a feeling that maybe when Amber and Ry had sex, she got pregnant. I mean, she never got the scan when Remy did, so she isn’t a 100% sure that she is infertile. She didn’t get her period for the past two months but yes, that could indeed be because of stress. And that injection they got could have created the same symptoms on all the women after they had it but that doesn’t mean that some of those women’s bodies weren’t able stop the contents of those injections from achieving its goal. Right?

  I know this is too farfetched but I really felt bad for Amber, she was robbed of a choice that was hers and that wasn’t fair on her or any other women. I really hope those alien bitches pay for what they’ve done.

Omg Ry is flying the jet and I am so terrified because he is in there with King and that guy is fucking nuts! He is suicidal and at the point the book ends we don’t know how Ry is or if Remy, Tater and Linette are safe. Omg if Amber ends up being the only person surviving this I don’t know what I’ll do. I think it was an awesome idea to have multiple points of view at the end of the book. I loved it so much.

This is going to be my number one read of 2017. Seriously it is already one of my favourite trilogies (hopefully not only a trilogy) of all time.

Please let me know your thoughts, I would love to discuss all things Unknown and Unrest.