#he’s a weird bug that landed in my drink on a hot summer day

[jimmyspades]

[animeyanderelover]

Can you write number 25 to Finny?

Another delusional one. Here we go.

Warnings: Yandere themes, unhealthy mindset, unhealthy relationship, obsessiveness, delusions, violence

Prompt 25: “This might sound weird, but I like it when you’re sick. Because then you let me take care of you.”

When you were younger there had been this one time where you had done something stupid. You hadn’t behaved whilst your parents had guests and they had punished you for this, taking your favorite toys away and didn’t let you out of the house for the rest of the day even though your friends had invited you to come over to play. Back then you had thought that this was hell, but of course at that time you couldn’t have known it better, after all you had only been a child. But looking back on it now the only thing you could do was laughing at your childishness. House arrest given by your parents had been the heaven on earth compared to the situation you were currently in. Captured by a lunatic who saw you as his goddess and himself as your protector. How had you even gotten in this situation?

The first time you had met him was a few months ago, having helped him when he had gotten into a tricky situation. He hadn’t payed attention to his surroundings and had nearly gotten hit by a carriage it it wouldn’t have been for you. You had quickly pulled him away and both of you had stumbled to the ground, you landing on top of him. At first Finny had started to shout panicked his apologies before he had finally looked for the first time at you. And suddenly a blush had made it’s way on his face and he had suddenly started to stutter, not being able to speak a single word anymore. His eyes had started to shine when he had looked at you as if he had just seen some kind of goddess. The both of you had a little chat after that, had exchanged names and you had left after a while, doubting that you would ever see him again. But what a lie that was you had told you back then. For some reason you had met him more often after that day. It had almost seemed like he was waiting at the place you had first met him and had always brought some flowers with him he had handed you with a huge blush. Like this you had found out more about him and he had found out more about you and he had been so excited when he had found out that you were a total flower lover, telling you happily that he was a gardener for no other than the Earl Phantomhive.

It had all seemed so normal at first with him. The only thing that had looked a bit weird was the way he had always looked at you. His eyes starting to glow with admiration. You had found it incredibly cute at first, but now you cursed yourself for not getting alarmed by the way he had always looked and spoken to you. But you had never expected anything, being too blinded by his cute and innocent looking face. Who would have thought that this ball of sunshine here had such a dark side to him? You had only realized what he really was when he had one day suddenly knocked you out and you had found yourself in a locked up room when you had woken up again with Finny already waiting by your side. When you had asked him about what was the meaning behind all of this he had answered you with a huge smile on his face that he had just wanted to keep you safe from any people might want to harm you since he was your protector. At first you had tried to reason with him, but you might have as well just tried to waste your precious voice for other things because whatever you had told him, it had went in the one ear and out of the other. When you had realized that talking to him wouldn’t be from any use you had tried to escape, but that hadn’t proved as useful either. Much more on the contrary, this had earned you a broken leg. The most frightening thing here was that Finny had been the one who had broken your leg, telling you it was just to keep you safe. But how the hell is breaking your leg supposed to keep you safe?!?!

Others might have thought that this one experience should prevent you from ever trying to escape him again, but you had always been a pretty stubborn girl and had tried it shortly after your leg had been fully healed once again. But you had shortly after regret this decision for a very simple reason. When you had broken your leg it had been summer, but months had passed since that and it had been already winter and in your hurry to escape you had forgotten to take a jacket with you, only standing in the freezing cold in light clothes. At first you had tried to ignore the cold air which seemed to bite your skin, but of course mother nature had to annoy you a bit more and before you had even realized it you had been caught in a snowstorm. And that’s when your senses had come back to you and you had decided to turn around and go back to Finny, realizing that freezing to death outside wasn’t a very nice way to die. Luckily you hadn’t gone too far away and had made your way back to the cottage where Finny kept you. As soon as you had been able to see the house you had suddenly seen Finny storming towards you with tears streaming down his face, quickly pulling you in his arms and crying about how scared he had been that someone might have taken you away or that you might have tried to run away from him again. You weren’t exactly the smartest person, but you did realize that you shouldn’t mention to him that this had been exactly what you had tried to do. Instead you had just clattered through your teeth that you wanted to go inside and Finny had been happy to grant you your wish.

All of this had led you to your current condition and you knew that this had been most of all your fault. You had been stupid for trying to escape in the middle of winter without fitting clothes. You might have not gotten a broken leg, but a really bad cold. You felt completely worn out even though you hadn’t done everything these last few days except laying in the bed, maybe leaving it once in a while when you needed to go to toilet or when you wanted to take a short bath. And of course there was someone who helped you with everything. Finny! Since you had gotten sick he had made sure to spend more time with you, taking care of you like your guardian he thought he was. Currently he was sitting besides you and was feeding you some soup. Normally you would have strongly objected against this, but you didn’t even feel like you had the strength to lift a small spoon and you knew that you would worsen your headache only if you would try to argue with him. Your throat also felt like shit right now, meaning that screaming at him was impossible at the moment. Finny had a happy grin on his face, enjoying that you were not protesting against him. “Do you need something else my angel?”, he asked you. “Can-can I have a tea? My throat feels like I’ve just swallowed a bug full of sand.” Even speaking hurt you. “Of course (y/n)! Just give me a moment!” He quickly stormed away, leaving you suffering alone and making you once more aware of how incredibly foolish you had been.

Finny returned after a few minutes with a huge cup filled with steaming tea in the one hand and a dark small bottle in the other. He quickly placed the cup full of tea on the nightstand. “I made you your favorite flavor! And I also added three spoons of honey to it just like you like. It’s still a bit hot so you should wait for a bit longer. First of all I’m afraid you have to take your medicine.” You let a sigh out and let yourself sink deeper into the mattress. You hated medicine! But here again you knew what would happen if you wouldn’t take your medicine, having experienced on your first day after you had gotten sick that Finny would force you then to swallow the bitter liquid. So when Finny held the spoon with the medicine right in front of your face you just opened your eyes and tried to focus not too much on the taste. But the aftertaste still hit you shortly after. “Bah.”, you mumbled out and just layed back down. Finny continued to sit by your side and as soon as the tea had cooled down a bit he helped you to sit up and drink the tea. The warm liquid managed to alleviate the unpleasant feeling in your throat a bit and so you quickly gulped down all of the tea.

“Can I bring you something else? You know you just have to tell me.” You didn’t even hesitate to answer him, telling him quickly what you needed. “Amother blanket and a few more pillows would be nice.” It was absolutely absurd that you still felt cold even though you were wrapped up in a pretty thick blanket. Again Finny stormed away to get you your requested objects of desire and when he came back he was loaded with a large blanket and some pillows. He carefully tugged you in in the new blanket and gently lifted your head, placing the new pillows under it before laying your head back down. You let a content sigh out when you sank into the soft pillows, feeling like you were laying on a cloud. You didn’t even budge when Finny slowly grabbed your head and started caressing it with his thumb.

“This might sound weird, but I like it when you’re sick. Because then you let me take care of you.”, he suddenly hummed. You opened one of your eyes shortly to glance at him and noticed the blissed expression on his face. Normally you would have thrown a tantrum when hearing something like this, but the tea had made you even more tired than you already were and with the new pillows you knew that it would only be a question of a few minutes until you would drift off to dreamland. You knew that as soon as you would be healthy again things would go back to normal. You would start resisting him again and would try to escape him again, but this time better prepared. But as long as you were sick might as well take advantage of all of this. It was the least you could do.

[copychatnoir]

WIP Wednesday

I really need to convince myself to write more of this, so I’m going to use external encouragement to get it going. It’s a snippit from what is currently the first chapter of my AU, The Miraculous Tales of Bug Chanceux and Kuro Neko.

The day was already long and hot. It wasn't even noon yet. Luka sat in the shadow of the Liberty’s deck, gently strumming his guitar. The cords were smooth and lazy, just like a sunbathing cat in the summer. Every few beats, he stopped and jotted down a few more notes on a music sheet. Then, he repeated the same rhythm with a few new notes added on. The cycle repeated. Luka was in his own rhythm where only the sound of his music could reach.

This was one of the few moments he had to himself and he was happily strumming a melody that was the essence of his superhero partner, Kuro Neko.

Once he reached what felt like the end to the song, he paused. He set his guitar to the side and read the entire song over, listening to the cords ring out in his head.

This was a good first draft.

A quiet, but still squeaky voice spoke up from Luka’s hoodie, “Wow, Luka! That sounded wonderful! It really sounds like you were thinking about summer.”

Luka smiled and picked up his guitar, taking a moment to strum a couple nondescript notes before speaking up. “Thanks, Tikki. It’s about lazy cats on hot summer days.”

“Oh! It’s about Kuro Neko! That’s so sweet! I bet she’ll love it.”

“I don't think it's done yet. There’s something I missed...” Luka frowned, reading over the sheet music again.

“I know you’ll figure it out! You always do!” the small, ladybug kwami chirped.

Luka nodded absently while reading over the draft again. 

He folded up the sheet music and tucked it into one of his creation folders. He would come back to this later. Hopefully sooner than later.

At that moment a notification pinged on his phone. Inessa shared a picture that was just taken by the Ladyblogger. Kuro Neko was lying on a rooftop, taking a cat nap. The caption read “Kuro Neko might secretly be a real cat. (=^w^=) I wonder if she’s lactose intolerant too? lol”

Tikki giggled, looking at the photo from Luka’s shoulder. “Just like you said: lazy cat on a summer’s day. You two are really in sync.”

Luka didn’t comment, staring intently at the photo. He knew she wasn’t able to get out much. It was hard enough for her to get out for akuma attacks. Looking at photos made it so much harder for him to figure out what people were actually feeling.

“Luka?” Tikki asked.

He blinked, coming back to himself. “I want to check on her.”

Tikki nodded, slipping back into the hood of the hoodie.

Looking to his side, his sister and her girlfriend sat under the mast of the ship, sharing an iPod and sipping their iced lemonades.

“Juleka, Rose? I’m heading to the store. Need anything?” he asked, while shouldering his guitar and putting away the folder.

The two shared a look. Rose was about to answer when his mom poked her head out of the captain's quarters (her bedroom). "You're going to the store? Can you pick up some more pretzels and licorice?"

Luka felt a small pang of frustration that Juleka was the first to read. She pointedly asked their mom, "Out already?"

"I know, I know. If you could just grab another bag, Luka." With that, their mom went back to whatever she'd been doing.

Luka held in the sigh of either exasperation or frustration. Maybe it was going to be both. 

This was why he picked up extra shifts.

Rose spoke up, "We're good, Luka! The fridge has all the lemonade and water we could need." Her voice was a bit more forced with chipper than she actually was. He knew it was for his sake. Rose was pretty much his sister by now and she could get extremely protective of him.

He smiled and nodded at them both. "Thanks. Make sure you stay in the shade. You both burn easily." His smile was a little forced too.

~~~

Luka’s first stop was the market. First was the pretzels, then some licorice, a small pack of raspberry cookies for Tikki (he got a gentle headbutt of thanks for that), [something for Rose], and [something for Juleka].

Last, he went to get shakes for both Kuro Neko and himself. Looking over the options, he remembered the caption that was attached to Kuro Neko’s picture. Was Neko lactose intolerant? She did have a subtle, weird reaction whenever he gave her a milkshake. He grabbed a strawberry-chocolate milkshake for himself, then a lactose-free strawberry-kiwi shake for Neko.

~~~

Luka walked by a coffee shop as he was headed to a secluded alleyway.

“This is impossible!” a frustrated customer exclaimed. “It’s too hot to do any of my work out here!” The well-dressed man slammed his laptop shut, steaming with anger.

“Just go inside already.” The woman across from him said, bored and exasperated with his nonsense. She sipped from her iced coffee. “You’ve been complaining for the last 15 minutes straight.”

The man huffed and grumbled loudly about how this whole thing was ridiculous, but still packed up his things. With that done, he stomped inside the shop.

Luka got out one of his cold bottles of water and set his bike’s kickstand out. He walked up to the woman who he assumed was the frustrated man’s friend. 

He held out the water bottle to her saying, “This might help.”

The woman took a moment to respond. She was surprised and confused, but took the bottle after a moment. “Huh,” she mumbled, then looked back to Luka with a smile on her face. “Well, aren’t you a sweetie.”

Luka smiled at the compliment and gave a short nod, before heading on his way.

~~~

Bug Chanceux vaulted up to the rooftops, groceries safely stored in his yo-yo and bike locked up in an alleyway. 

The air was quiet around him and he swung over to the rooftop that Kuro Neko had claimed as hers for the day. The wind must’ve gotten the message that today was a laid back day.

Seeing Neko on her rooftop, he landed lightly on the roof across from her. One of the tips of her faux ears twitched. He was already found out.

Bug took a running leap to Neko’s rooftop. Swift as lightning, she whipped out her baton to trip the spotted superhero.

He should have known she was up to something.

His foot caught and he rolled into a somersault to keep balance. He landed harder than he wanted to, but he did land on his feet. 

He gave the superheroine a flat stare. She didn’t even open her eyes to rumble out, “You’ve got to be better than that,” and punctuated it with a smirk.

Bug Chanceux rolled his eyes and sat himself next to her, careful not to get in the way of her sun rays. The yo-yo opened to the glow of the void holding his groceries and pulled out the milkshakes.

He let the cold air around and the shadow of Kuro Neko’s milkshake call her attention enough to open her eyes. Right as a drop of condensation landed right on her nose.

With a hiss, she nearly bats the milkshake away, but Bug saw that coming. He hoisted the drink away from her, snickering. She turned a not-actually-mad glare to her partner in crime-stopping. He smirked at her and quoted her back, “You’ve gotta be better than that.”

Neko scoffed in indignation. Before she could retaliate, Bug Chanceux offered the strawberry-kiwi shake to her.

That stopped her in her tracks. She blinked twice at the offered drink, then took it quietly. She took a sip of the drink to hide the small flush of her cheeks.

Quiet lingered for the first drinks of the shakes. Neko paused, then looked at Bug with her head tilted. She noticed that it tasted different from the previous ones he'd gotten her.

“My friend says that cats are lactose intolerant,” Bug leads off, answering her unspoken question.

“Really?” Neko asked quizzically.

“Is it true for cat heroes too?” Bug prompts.

Kuro Neko snorts before she could stop herself. “Yes, but it’s a coincidence. Not a cat thing. I’ve always been lactose intolerant.”

Bug nudged Neko’s shoulder, playfully scolding, “You should’ve told me sooner. I wouldn’t have gotten you things with milk in them.”

“You never asked,” she simply states. “And it’s rude to refuse offerings.” Another sip of the shake.

Their peace was interrupted by a loud crash. The two share a look.

Neko pouts, turning back to her smoothie and staring longingly at it.

Bug sighs, but goes ahead with putting his milkshake away into the yo-yo storage void.

Kuro Neko looks back at her partner, then back to her shake. Then, back at Bug, this time locking eyes with him.

Suddenly, Bug Chanceux realized what Neko was going to do. “Neko-!”

His objection was no use. The moment she saw him even start to dissuade her, she downed the entire rest of the shake.

She smirks smugly at him for just a moment. Bug knows what’s happening before it even starts.

The black cat hero hisses and holds her head with one hand, squeezing her eyes shut.

Bug sighed. He should’ve known she would have done something. She’d do it even if he tried to object. “Hold your tongue to the top of your mouth. I’ll meet you there.”

With that, he flicked the yo-yo out and swung toward the commotion.

Behind him, Kuro Neko forced herself up, in spite of the brain freeze, then vaulted after him.

[bipolarwitchcraft]

Awnser all the questions of the post you recently reblogged.

Yeet 1. coffee mugs, teacups, wine glasses, water bottles, or soda cans?-water bottles. I like metal ones. 2. chocolate bars or lollipops?-lollipops3. bubblegum or cotton candy?-cotton candy4. how did your elementary school teachers describe you?-a pleasure to have in class and a creative writer. I wrote a lot of stories and was told by a few teachers I could be a published author when I got older. I hope they’re right. 5. do you prefer to drink soda from soda cans, soda bottles, plastic cups or glass cups?-cans the easiest 6. pastel, boho, tomboy, preppy, goth, grunge, formal or sportswear?-boho goth county would accurately describe me7. earbuds or headphones?-earbuds but not apple earbuds Bc they hurt8. movies or tv shows?-tv shows under 30 mins bc my attention span is 2 seconds (excluding the Orville and 911 bc those are amazing shows)9. favorite smell in the summer?-well water and main and tail shampoo10. game you were best at in p.e.?-volleyball. If I didn’t have to play 2 sports to be in athletics I would have played it in high school. 11. what you have for breakfast on an average day?-I don’t eat breakfast usually at school but when I work at camp I’ll usually have 2 eggo waffles and peanut butter maybe with a plum or something 12. name of your favorite playlist?-drive songs 13. lanyard or key ring?-key ring. I can’t stand having my keys on a lanyard 14. favorite non-chocolate candy?-Swedish fish 15. favorite book you read as a school assignment?-the secret life of bees and of mice and men. They are the only two I actually read all the way through and didn’t sparknotes lmaoo16. most comfortable position to sit in?-completely slouched in a chair with on leg crossed 17. most frequently worn pair of shoes?-my serape ariat cruisers or my berks 18. ideal weather?-70s to mid 80s with a nice breeze 19. sleeping position?-I’m a stomach sleeper lol but I usually try to fall asleep on my left side 20. preferred place to write (i.e., in a note book, on your laptop, sketchpad, post-it notes, etc.)?-note book. My favorite are the 5-star note books. College rule. One subject. 21. obsession from childhood?-dinosaurs and rocks. Still relevant today as a geology major22. role model?-don’t have role models. They always disappoint. Just be a decent person and do what you enjoy. 23. strange habits?-I rub the corners of blankets and pillows and such on and under my thumb nail. But only my right. I also poke my tongue out of my mouth a little when I’m riding. 24. favorite crystal?-I’m a sucker for amethyst. But quartz is also a favorite. I have natural quartz clusters all over my backyard at home. 25. first song you remember hearing?-besides like baby songs it was probably something my dad was listening to so I’m going to say Loser by Beck or Sweet Home Alabama bc those have been staples of my life. 26. favorite activity to do in warm weather?-ride and then immediately jump in the lake 27. favorite activity to do in cold weather?-read 28. five songs to describe you?-I don’t know enough about myself to know what describes me but my favorite songs rn are ‘99’ by Barnes Courtney, Colours by Grouplove, Pumped Up Kicks by foster the people, Talk Too Much by Coin, and Broken by lovelytheband 29. best way to bond with you?-talk to me 30. places that you find sacred?-nature, whataburger at 3am, and my room 31. what outfit do you wear to kick ass and take names?-I always feel badass when I wear my show chaps 32. top five favorite vines?-omg so many. Road work ahead, Adam, any from that kid that wear his hoodie and has his ears sticking out (snoooooooooop), well when life gives you lemons, you either kill your self or get killed what you gonna do 33. most used phrase in your phone?-lmaooo34. advertisements you have stuck in your head?-tide pods with gronk 35. average time you fall asleep?-midnight ish 36. what is the first meme you remember ever seeing?-ummmm it was probably some iFunny shit 37. suitcase or duffel bag?-duffle 38. lemonade or tea?-sweet tea 39. lemon cake or lemon meringue pie?-lemon meringue pie from Bluebonnet Cafe 40. weirdest thing to ever happen at your school?-some much. Some let a rooster loose in the main hall and no one could catch it, some left stink bait in the locker and the whole school smelled, some just showed up and gave my ag teacher a calf, we had a interim principal who we called Bernie Sanders which he hated and sent out a announcement video telling us to stop and we only got worse 41. last person you texted?-my mom42. jacket pockets or pants pockets?-jacket pockets 43. hoodie, leather jacket, cardigan, jean jacket or bomber jacket?-oof I’m a sucker for a cardigan 44. favorite scent for soap?-lavender 45. which genre: sci-fi, fantasy or superhero?-fantasy 46. most comfortable outfit to sleep in?-over sized t shirt47. favorite type of cheese?-mozzarella 48. if you were a fruit, what kind would you be?-I feel like I would be a strawberry bc im a strawberry blond/a redhead 49. what saying or quote do you live by?-sometime it just be like that 50. what made you laugh the hardest you ever have?-this video has my gasping every. Single. Time. If you’re sad PLS WATCH: https://youtu.be/23B017ZVIx451. current stresses?-finals and getting my wisdom teeth removed 52. favorite font?-I only use times new roman lol I don’t type a lot 53. what is the current state of your hands?-dry but my nails are getting long which I’m glad about54. what did you learn from your first job?-I worked retail so I learned how to handle people at their worst lol 55. favorite fairy tale?-I like the Disney Rapunzel, but I also like the original telling if the little mermaid 56. favorite tradition?-watching the 24hours of a Christmas Story during Christmas 57. the three biggest struggles you’ve overcome?-self harm -body image -fighting 58. four talents you’re proud of having?-creativity through writing, riding, baking, common sense59. if you were a video game character, what would your catchphrase be?-bro60. if you were a character in an anime, what kind of anime would you want it to be?-yoooo61. favorite line you heard from a book/movie/tv show/etc.?-I’ve read too many books to have a favorite line from just one lol, but I heard “I’m a grown up ass man I can do what I want” on AP bio which was pretty funny 62. seven characters you relate to?-Nina Zenik from Six of Crows. That’s it. She’s the only one. 63. five songs that would play in your club?-I cannot stand clubs or bars so none lol64. favorite website from your childhood?-fucking moshimonster.com and girlsgogames.com 65. any permanent scars?-yep. I got burned as a baby and still have the scars on my fingers 19 years later. I have a lot more as well. 66. favorite flower(s)?-I’m more of a succulent person so cactus flowers 67. good luck charms?-I don’t really have any 68. worst flavor of any food or drink you’ve ever tried?-I had ranch flavored soda once so that takes it. But I don’t like cheap beer either. 69. a fun fact that you don’t know how you learned? -a daddy long leg spider is the most poisonous spider but their fangs are too weak to pierce human skin 70. left or right handed?-right 71. least favorite pattern?-houndstooth 72. worst subject?-calculus 73. favorite weird flavor combo?-hot Cheetos and sour cream74. at what pain level out of ten (1 through 10) do you have to be at before you take an advil or ibuprofen?-575. when did you lose your first tooth?- 5 y/o76. what’s your favorite potato food (i.e. tater tots, baked potatoes, fries, chips, etc.)?-mashed 100%77. best plant to grow on a windowsill?-jade succulents 78. coffee from a gas station or sushi from a grocery store?-I like sushi from HEB 79. which looks better, your school id photo or your driver’s license photo?-school id80. earth tones or jewel tones?-earth times 81. fireflies or lightning bugs?-firefly 82. pc or console?-Uhhh idk??? 83. writing or drawing?-writing 84. podcasts or talk radio?-talk radio 84. barbie or polly pocket?-Polly pocket. Forbidden gummy 85. fairy tales or mythology?-mythology 86. cookies or cupcakes?-cupcakes with no icing 87. your greatest fear?-bugs crawling in my ear 88. your greatest wish?-to be successful and happy with a S/O and a daughter on lots of land89. who would you put before everyone else?-my parents 90. luckiest mistake?-There are no mistakes. Everything happens for a reason. 91. boxes or bags?-depends 92. lamps, overhead lights, sunlight or fairy lights?-sunlight93. nicknames?-my dad calls me sissy bug and my mom calls me bamber and my friends call my dumb bitch lol so 94. favorite season?Spring or fall. They’re basically the same in Texas. 95. favorite app on your phone?-social media apps96. desktop background?-I don’t have a desktop but my laptop is just a pre downloaded galaxy ones. 97. how many phone numbers do you have memorized?-mine, my moms, my dads, and my dads business 98. favorite historical era?-ancient Egypt and the 60s

[noona-clock]

Snow Day

Can I request something really cute with Jisoo as a dad please??

Anon, you certainly can. And it is my absolute pleasure to write this for you.

Genre: AU/FLUFF 

Pairing: Jisoo x You

By Admin B

The three of you were gathered around the small television on your kitchen counter, so silent you could just about hear the snowflakes landing on the roof of your house.

“Come on, come on, come on,” Jisoo whispered as the weatherman listed off the school districts which were closing due to inclement weather.

And when he finally did say the name of your school district, a small chorus of cheers erupted in your kitchen.

“YES!” your 5-year-old son cried, pumping his little fists in the air. “NO SCHOOL!”

“No school,” you grinned as you turned toward your husband.

“Two words that are just as exciting for both students and teachers,” he chuckled before leaning down and placing a kiss on your lips.

“Daddy,” your son interrupted, grabbing Jisoo’s sleeve and tugging on it. “Can we go outside and play? I want to build a snowman and an igloo and have a snowball fight!”

“Can we? Of course, we can!” Jisoo replied with a huge smile, bending down and picking your son up into his arms. He was honestly bordering on too old to be held, but... Jisoo was still just a little in denial of how old your child was getting (and how quickly he was growing up). Jisoo then turned to you with raised eyebrows. “How about it, mom?”

You smiled angelically, putting a hand on your son’s back and standing on your toes to kiss his cheek to soften the blow.

“I would love to... but I honestly am way behind in my grading.”

“Oh, yeah,” Jisoo sighed. “Mommy was sick last week, remember? She missed some work, and her students took a test while she was gone.”

“Will it take you a long, long time?” you son asked with the most adorably furrowed brow.

“Not too long... hopefully,” you frowned. “But I’ll come out with you guys as soon as I’m done. Okay?”

Your son nodded and then wiggled out of Jisoo’s arms so they could both get bundled up and ready for some snow adventures.

You shuffled down the hallway to the office, letting out a sigh as you grabbed the stack of exams to be graded, your favorite grading pen, and plopped on the couch to get cracking.

“So, what first?” Jisoo asked as he stepped outside into the snow. “Snowman?”

“Yeah! Snowman,” your son cheered, though his voice was muffled by the scarf covering half of his face. Jisoo never would’ve guessed this prior to becoming a dad, but he was kind of an overprotective, worrywart parent. You definitely helped keep him in check a lot, especially now your son was in Kindergarten. He let you deal with the school stuff because you were a lot more chill - something a teacher always appreciated.

It was weird because, as a teacher, Jisoo was extremely laid-back and relaxed while you were more strait-laced and conscientious in the classroom. When it came to your child, though, you two were the complete opposite.

Jisoo, of course, did most of the snowman building since it required some heavy-lifting. But your son helped by gathering the materials, making the face, putting on the scarf and hat - basically turning the snowman into a real snowman.

“How does it look?” your son asked, taking a step back and glancing up at Jisoo.

“He looks very handsome,” Jisoo replied proudly.

“But... he doesn’t look like Olaf.”

“Well, no, we’re not Elsa. We can’t make a snowman like Olaf.”

Your son pouted slightly for just a moment, but then Jisoo suggested moving on to making snow angels.

Your son had way too much fun falling back into the snow, and he ended up making about ten snow angels before his arms and legs got tired.

They moved onto throwing snowballs then, and Jisoo spent way too much time teaching your son how to make the perfect snowball.

It wasn’t until halfway through throwing the pile of snowballs they’d made your son realized something.

“Where’s mommy?” he asked curiously. “Is she still grading her tests?”

“Oh, yeah,” Jisoo responded. He’d completely forgotten you’d said you would come out and join them. “She must be...”

“Can we go inside and check on her?”

Jisoo smirked a little, throwing the snowball he had in his hand before squatting down to his son’s level. “You want to go and check on her... or you’re getting cold and want some hot chocolate?”

“Both,” your son giggled.

“All right, let’s go in for a little bit. I bet mommy wants some hot chocolate, too.”

You were actually already in the kitchen when Jisoo and your son arrived back in the house, stopping in the doorway to take off their snow-covered boots.

“Well, look who it is,” you grinned. “My favorite snowmen.”

“Mommy!” your son cried, running to you and colliding into your legs. “We’re going to make some hot chocolate.”

“You are?! Can I have some, too?” you asked, sliding your son’s hat off his head. You heard Jisoo already rummaging around the kitchen, grabbing some mugs and getting the kettle filled with water.

You couldn’t help but remember doing the exact same thing on your first date with Jisoo... It seemed like so long ago, but then again, look at how much had changed. And how much was still changing.

Once you all three had your mugs of steaming hot cocoa and Jisoo and your son had hung up their coats, you all cuddled up on the couch and turned on the TV.

Not even halfway through his drink, and your son was out like a light, sleeping soundly in-between the two of you.

A soft smile pulled at Jisoo’s lips as he gently combed his fingers through your son’s hair, and you knew you had no reason to worry.

“Hey,” you said quietly. Jisoo’s gaze shifted to meet yours, and his smile grew.

“Hey, you,” he replied. “We missed you outside.”

“Yeah, sorry... I... I got my grading done, but... I think I figured something out.”

“Yeah?” Jisoo asked, sipping his drink. “What did you figure out?”

“I don’t think I had a stomach bug last week.”

Jisoo’s brow furrowed in confusion as he set his mug down on the coffee table, careful not to wake up your son. “What do you mean?”

“I think... I think it was morning sickness.”

Your husband froze, his eyes widening. But then a huge smile appeared on his lips and he reached out to cradle your cheek. “Really?! You -- you’re --”

“I think so,” you chuckled.

Jisoo leaned over to kiss you, feeling your son stir at the sudden movement.

“Daddy, what are you -- ewwwww! You’re kissing!”

Jisoo pulled away, bending down to kiss the top of your son’s head. “Do you want a little brother or sister?” he asked.

“Yes!”

“Then don’t complain about me kissing your mom.”

You laughed out loud, your heart positively glowing as you watched the interaction between Jisoo and your son. And it glowed even more when you thought about the new little one coming along sometime next summer.

When you’d first started teaching, first met Jisoo as your classroom neighbor, you never would’ve imagined this as your future. But now that it was your reality, you couldn’t imagine any other life you’d rather be living.

Author’s Note: This could totally be a stand-alone fic, but it could also totally be an Epilogue to Turning Point.

Master list // RULES // Submit a Request! // Read About the Admins

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2018 Year In Review

Previous Posts: (2017) (2016) (2015) (2014) (2013) (2012) (2011) 

2018 has not been a banner year for self care. It has not been a banner year for much of anything, to be honest. This year in review will be much less colourful and exciting than they traditionally tend to be. It has been a year of hard work, stress, and feeling the pressure of the less-fun parts of adulthood creeping up on me. It has been really hard, to be totally honest. I have spent the majority of the year in a deep state of exhaustion and distress. There are positives within it all, though. Big positives, such as: 

I went on my longest trip ever away from home. 

I have developed so much in the professional sense and have fallen so deeply in love with social work and my future career path. 

I have made new friends who reflect these changing influences in my life, and the enduring friendships that have survived all of these years continue to strengthen and deepen as time goes on. 

January: 

Tell me - why does January always suck? 2018 began with an opening double shift on New Year’s Day, which I feel is strongly symbolic of the year as a whole because you have an exhausted Megan struggling to responsibly balance my professional responsibilities, self-care, and partying. On January 3rd, Alex and I booked our flights to Asia and in doing so, solidified that we were going through with a plan made drunkenly over the table last summer at a karaoke bar. 

I did get to spend an awesome ski weekend with Alesta, Sydney x 2, and Shelby. It was especially nice because this particular group of people had never spent time all together - we were just united by being a group of girls who love to ski. We hit Lake Louise on Saturday, stayed overnight at a hostel in Banff, and Alesta and I hit Sunshine on Sunday. In Banff, we got a free jug of sangria because we are cute girls. We went to High Rollers and Sydney was drinking IPAs and porters like a pro. I went alone (like... what? Who am I? How drunk was I?) to Dancing Sasquatch after and made friends with some Nova Scotians in line. One of them paid for my cover and bought me not one but two of those infamous Time Machine drinks and extra bonus - Alesta and I got FREE lift passes at Sunshine. 

At the end of the month, my mental health took a sharp nosedive into oblivion and I don’t even really know why. I started experiencing a violent resurgence of something I haven’t felt since the end of the 12th grade, having what I now recognize as panic attacks. The first one came when I was studying on a Sunday at Higher Ground and I had no idea what the fuck was happening, I’d been there for several hours when I suddenly felt the urge to throw up. I packed up all my shit and burst out the door literally gasping for air but ended up being fine. Just shaky and confused. They started happening more frequently after this, with no predictable trigger, and I started to feel the physical manifestations of stress. That was new and it freaked me out. This lent itself to a lot of strange patterns around eating (since I was constantly feeling nauseous, or I thought I was, I didn’t want to have a full stomach. I also thought I had a food intolerance, and because I’m me was 100% convinced I was pregnant because the stress caused me to miss my period). 

February 

Things started to get so bad in February that I had to plead my manager at Famoso for less hours. He was an idiot in general but also did not seem to grasp the severity of what I told him. He would frequently schedule me for these long swing swifts all weekend long, leaving no time or energy for the mountains of homework I had to do. It did not help. 

February was especially busy with school. That’ll be a recurring theme throughout this year. It could honestly be a summary of this entire year - so I’ll spare you the details. But five courses at the University of Calgary is no joke. 

I never needed reading week so badly in my entire life. I was beyond happy to just be able to take a long weekend and not be at Famoso. Shelby arranged for a giant group of her friends to spend the weekend at her friend Sawyer’s massive, absolutely beautiful cabin in Invermere. I got to spend some quality time with two of my favourite people on the planet - Emma and Sydney. From the minute we got into Emma’s car together, to having ciders at the Emerald Lake Lodge on the way, to eating A&W and sharing a bed and “she gon’ fuck the fridge.” Sydney and I spent one afternoon on homework while everyone else went skiing and I was with her when she got the news that she’d won this massive grant and we celebrated by sitting in this magical massage chair and just loving life. We played Drink, Talk, Learn! And I gave a drunken presentation on the history and etiology of pugs. Emma and I went skating on Lake Windermere to cure our hangovers on Sunday. A keg and a bonfire were involved. It was so Canadian, honestly LOL. And so perfect. 

March 

Although I was still struggling with this weird panic-nausea cycle, it lessened through March as more and more assignments were completed. I started to see the light at the end of the tunnel, to use a cliche. I gave three presentations in a week, I remember that being particularly awful. 

I attempted Mellow March for the second time and once again failed. Mildly concerning. I caved on a Wednesday wing night with the Famoso friends. It was 27 days in. So close, so close. 2019 will be my year! 

I started getting really into podcasts at this time because I started commuting using public transit. I got really into Guys We Fucked (which I still love), and This Is Actually Happening. TIAH is kind of fucked up though, and after a while it started to fuck me up. I would have weird dreams about the content and I started becoming paranoid that there was something wrong/extraordinary about me. So I stopped. I guess that is something I have learned about myself this year, is that even when it’s not overt, I am really deeply effected by some of the things I learn. Typically, people of this nature do not excel in the field of social work so allow me to flag this as a place for improvement in the future.

I ran the 5km at the St. Patrick’s Day road race, which was awesome and I won the draw that everyone was entered in and got a FREE pair of these super nice, hot pink New Balance running shoes that I now cherish with my life. 

I had my first round of practicum interviews, which only ended up being one interview because I was offered the placement at CommunityWise before I could interview anywhere else. This is one of the best things to happen the whole year :) 

And a special moment for me as well was on March 31, I got to see Alvvays live. 

April 

In April, I finished hell semester and immediately jetted off to Thailand.

From the get go, the trip was a bit of a shit show. This was my second time to Asia, and my first experience with really planning a trip including flights, hostels, and transportation from place to place without the aid of a tour guide or travel company. We had a time even getting to Bangkok due to an untimely snow storm the day of our departure that forced our flight to Vancouver to be late and causing us to miss our connecting flight to China. After two hours in line at the Air Canada desk, an agent produced a new itinerary for us. Calgary to Los Angeles to Hong Kong to Bangkok. He printed the sheets out and when I looked at the times on the paper, the mental math wasn’t adding up. With me, the mental math never really adds up but this time it seemed impossible that we could leave so much later than planned for our trip and arrive in Bangkok only three hours later than we were supposed to. I brought this up with him and he assured me it was fine. I wasn’t satisfied though, and asked a bunch of other airport personnel the same question. They all said we were fine but lo and behold, we land in Hong Kong and are waiting for the Thai Airlines desk to open so we can retrieve the tickets for the last leg of the journey when the agent there tells us, “They put you on the flight that left yesterday.” Anger and distress ensues. I call Air Canada from the airport in Hong Kong and the call drops. I’m straight up crying on the floor at this point. But in the end – we fucking made it.

In Bangkok, I was welcomed back to the stifling heat and humidity of Asia. We met American doctors-to-be who were at the end of their trip and were totally sick of one another and were very happy to have company. We ate massaman curry for every meal, partied on Khao San Road (those nitrous balloons!!! God, they’re so fun!!), and spent a lot of money on a single cocktail just for a photo op at the top of a skyscraper but the sunset was perfect and it was totally worth it.

In Chiang Mai we drank Sangsom and Coca-Cola by the pool and ate street food out of Styrofoam containers. We met these Americans who were teaching English in Chiang Mai and they took us to a night club on the back of their motorbikes. I did a drug I said I’ve never do in one of the bathrooms at this night club and ended up going home with one of the aforementioned teachers. It was funny to me because at about 3:00pm, Alex and I went back to our hostel to change and get ready for the evening and at that point I said, “I think I’m going to end up hooking up with Cory.” I fucking knew. I KNEW.

In Pai, I had the DIRTIEST hostel experience of my life. I was showering… just fully naked and vulnerable in this nasty ass shower when I saw a bug I did not recognize from my sheltered upbringing crawl out of a hole in the wall. I have never felt more small. It was also 43 degrees and we were staying in a tiny hut with a plug-in fan that only worked half the time and somehow had the effect of making the room hotter? Pai was also the first time we rented motorbikes. It’s honestly so dangerous… like, what the fuck, Thailand. We experienced our first flash rainstorm. We went to a place called Sunset Bar and took mushroom shakes and holy shit I’ve never experienced more potent mushrooms in my entire life. We met our Irish friends who we’d later see in Koh Pha Ngan, and I slept with an Israeli soldier on our second-to-last night and I’m almost 100% certain I took his virginity.

Koh Pha Ngan was alllll thunderstorms. We also decided to splurge a bit on food on this island and gorged ourselves with seafood and lavender Moscow mules at this nice restaurant down the road from our hostel. We partied so hard. We went to the pre-parties for the Full Moon – they have the Waterfall party two nights before, and the Jungle party the night before. I had sex with a total stranger at the Waterfall party up against a rock (when I recounted this story to Steven upon returning home he put on a redneck accent and said, “C’mon baby let me take you down to the fuck rock” and now that’s all I hear when I think about this experience in my head). The Full Moon Party was fun but not AS fun as the pre parties. It wasn’t as wild and the beach is so big but everyone concentrates in one little area. I took some kind of mystery pill (as you can see, I was very safe in Thailand) and had yet another sexual experience with a casual partner. I also witnessed a fight in the taxi back because one girl called another girl a stripper. It was bad.

May 

Continuing on with our Asia trip.

We landed in Krabi and intended fully to chill out a little bit after the wildness of Koh Pha Ngan. The first night was chill, we were staying in the Muslim quarter of the Krabi area so there weren’t a ton of nightclubs to go to and the hostel had some kind of run-in with police and weren’t able to take us out on the pub crawl we signed up for (lame). We had a roommate from Vancouver on the second day who bought a bunch of Xanax from a Thai pharmacy and gave me one. I can never do it again because it was so. good. But of course, I took one pill and stopped drinking just in case. This bitch continued drinking and took six or seven Xanax throughout the night. I honestly don’t know how she lived. We went rock climbing and drank beers on a boat tour one day and it was soooo great. We had the hottest tour guide. I did a hike by my lonesome that I nearly died on.

On the ferry ride from Krabi to Koh Phi Phi is where I got the sunburn that will likely give me skin cancer in later life and kill me. 90 minutes on the outside deck of a ferry (because I felt nauseous as fuck and didn’t want to vom in the cabin) absolutely fucked. me. up. We stayed at another pretty fucking gross hostel in Koh Phi Phi, and my roommates were all male which was a new experience for me. I went on a solo booze cruise cause Alex was sick. We took mushrooms again with our Canadian friend Kelsey and god, I was laughing so hard I was crying and I could not stop. I was like rolling around in the sand laughing so fucking hard about Fisherman’s Friends candy. It was so blissful. So pure.

And then… the sickness. This is going to be TMI but… fuck it. A bit of indigestion and stomach trouble is expected whenever a white person enters Asia. Different microbes etc. etc. But this… this was on a new fucking level. I knew something was up because on the morning that we woke up to take our ferry from Koh Phi Phi to Phuket, I vomited. And I never vomit, and I wasn’t that hungover (especially in relation to much of the rest of the trip). I felt okay afterwards though so we soldiered on. Three hour ferry ride, totally fine. We board our bus that will take us from the ferry port in Phuket to our hotel and about halfway through this bus ride, I feel it. I am wearing overalls. My heart starts beating loudly in my chest, sweat begins to bead on my forehead. Holy fuck, I am going to shit my pants. I clench until we get to the hostel – which is, of course, the last stop. It’s like a solid 45 minutes of pain. My stomach is ROILING. I have never felt anything like it.

I honestly know nothing about Phuket because I spent the entire 72 hours we were there running from my bunk bed to the bathroom. I would go so far as to say every ten minutes. At one point, I just brought my laptop into the washroom with me and watched Netflix for a few hours. A roommate who was with us switched rooms (understandably… I’m sorry, Helen). I didn’t eat for four days, literally not a fucking thing. Just Gatorade and water so that I didn’t die of dehydration. Because we had an airplane to catch and I needed to not be shitting the contents of my body out, I saw a doctor. He prescribed me like five different medications and told me just to take like eight of these pills and to expect stomach pain but it would at least get me through the flight to Seoul and hopefully home.

It worked, and we spent the last few days of our trip in Seoul. What an absolutely fascinating and beautiful part of the world. With Kieun as our guide, we got to see the best parts of Seoul. People took photos with us and gave us free shit. I had the absolute best meal of my life (it was the first thing I’d eaten in like four days… I really risked it all with the Korean barbecue honestly…). All-you-can-eat thick fatty slices of pork belly, grilled in front of us and dipped in sesame oil and salt with garlic and spices. Spicy chicken feet on the side, corn with cheese. It was wild. I cannot believe I stomached it.

And on May 12th, we returned home back to our lives and school and work and all of that boring ass shit. I remained ill for a solid six weeks upon returning home. To a lesser degree, I still have not fully recovered. At this point, I am unsure if I ever will. I truly think that second-round Asia gave me skin cancer and permanently altered my gastrointestinal functioning. Worth it? Unsure. But it happened nonetheless.

June 

My brother graduated from university and won a very prestigious award and it was very nice to watch him cross the stage and hear a nice speech about his accomplishments (he won so many scholarships that he basically had a free ride to school – I think it’s clear who inherited the brains).

I finished up my spring courses. Can I just say - spring courses are the worst? The two I picked were especially bad. The one about human sexuality was basically Sex Ed 101 which made for an easy A but I was hoping to investigate deeper on a number of topics. And the second one was way too hard for my tiny brain to accommodate and I got the lowest mark I’ve ever gotten on my paper and it brought me down.

I had a very random unexpected night where I slept with a really close friend of mine (like, friends for over a decade) who I used to have a little bit of a crush on in high school. We were very drunk and it was kind of a curiosity-satisfying move that has actually not resulted in a very big change to our relationship at all but I think it’s worth mentioning because younger me would have been stoked. This one’s for you, younger me!

We went to the High River Rodeo and Cabaret – another unexpected move but oh my god it was so fun. Matt, Steven, Amanda and I. You could buy as many beers as you wanted at a time and they were cheap because fuck the AGLC apparently. The rodeo was actually super fun. The cabaret was redneck af and I happened to see my roommate from the hostel in Koh Phi Phi and his buddies there? Although it was not a friendly reunion because I had unknowingly exposed him for cheating on his girlfriend when he was in Phi Phi (which he did. I shared a room with him, and the girl he loudly banged every night until 4am). Two-stepping ensued and I passed out in the car ride home. I have a great photo of Steven from this night next to a bottle of hot sauce. I do not recall why. I will include it below. 

July 

Okay, I am just going to preface this by saying July was a hot mess. 

Myself, Madison, Maeghan, and Cayley were all single and messing around on dating apps so we decided to create Tinder bingo. It’s exactly what it sounds like. The rules were that you could only cross off two things per date (so that you had to go on a minimum of three to win), you got bonus points for going on a Tinder date with the same person someone else had gone out with, and the first to win got their drinks paid for on a night out. So, I went on exactly one Tinder date. Which is something I said I’ve never do and never really saw myself doing but I went for it on this occasion because I think that in this day and age, a Tinder date is an experience everyone should have. So I bit the bullet, and went for a drink with this guy James at the Oak Tree Tavern. And oh... my god? What a terrible experience? LAUGHABLY terrible. His only desired topic of conversation were the nationalities of people I had slept with and in what circumstances. At one point he asked me, “when was the last time you had sex? Was it good?” He also talked at maximum volume and I guarantee you everyone else at that bar overheard our conversation. Midway through the date, he asked for a review of how he was doing and I told him he seemed a bit nervous. This angered him. He said, “I’M NOT NERVOUS” and I was like, “you asked, buddy.” He asked me if I would pay for him. Cayley literally had to come rescue me and I ran out of his car where he had unbuttoned his pants and had his dick out and was literally on the verge of tears begging me to touch it so hard. I literally bolted out of his car and he yelled out the window, “CALL ME!” He still hits me up on instagram sometimes. I hope his life gets better. 

I also moved again. This is my favourite living situation I’ve ever had. Great roommates who are almost never home. Cute house. Good location. A+ choice by me. 

I got really obsessed with the Thai cave rescue. It was just such a compelling and unique STORY and I would literally come home from work and refresh the BBC live update feed for hours until I fell asleep, then I’d wake up and refresh hoping for good news. I cannot wait for the movie. I will go opening day. #Obsessions 

Stampede!!! Oh my god, what a wonderful Stampede. The most memorable thing is that Steven and I went to the standing rodeo one afternoon and got absolutely. fucking. hammered. Whilst there, we met and befriended two Australian retirees named Lyn and Ken. They are rich and are obsessed with horseriding and rodeo stuff. They purchased many drinks for us and we convinced them to come to Nashville North with us, where they purchased MORE drinks for us and Steven attempted to show them how to two-step. They later invited me to go horseback riding in Banff and I accepted. They literally picked me up, drove me to Banff, we crushed two bottles of wine at the Park gin distillery, went on a three-hour horseback ride through the mountains, they drove me home and I paid for NONE OF IT. It was........ a day. I sat on my bed later and thought to myself, “that was fucking weird.” But now, if I ever go to Melbourne, I will hit them up. 

It was Ali’s birthday and we went camping in Waiparous. We took mushrooms on Saturday and just as they were beginning to fully kick in, the RCMP rolled in and kicked us out of our campsite. What a wild time to be faced with an interaction with the cops. Also - no one could drive except for two people who had stayed sober and they had to shuttle us to a new campsite. Have you ever tried setting up a tent on mushrooms? Do you know how difficult and hilarious it is? 

And lastly at the end of July, I went to Folk Fest. I saw Alvvays again. Front row! Like, against the barrier front row. It was awesome. It was folk fest that inspired me to cut my hair and get bangs again. No regrets. I love my bangs. I also experienced a level of street harassment that I didn’t know was possible from some random, innocent-seeming guy. It was terrifying. I called the police. No bueno. 

August 

In August, I got promoted at my job and basically became a baby manager. It was better in theory than in practice because my shifts got longer, I made less in tips (but more hourly), and the cash out for a restaurant is a long and frustrating process that depends on a lot of small pieces working together correctly in a big ass spreadsheet and I suck at math.

In happier news – August was also the establishment of podcast club. Podcast club is one of the best and dorkiest things I have ever been involved with. We pick a podcast each week to listen to, and get together on Sunday mornings at 10:00am to discuss the contents of the podcast. It was initially open to whomever wanted to come but has since whittled down to a core group and at this point, we’re all so close that it would almost be weird to introduce a new person into the mix. There is Kendal, who I go to school with and who started the whole club. Her boyfriend, Mitch. Lachlan and Maddy who are siblings. Matt, a YouTuber who was kind of a wildcard. Chad, also kind of a wildcard but who works as a youth counsellor – and me! Podcast club has made my life infinitely better and is probably the best thing to come out of 2018, in all honesty.

I also got obsessed with Harry Potter and read like almost the whole series and my new at the time roommates thought I was such a loser because I would literally post up on the couch in the living room with a HP book and they would come back five hours later and I hadn’t moved and all I wanted to talk about was Harry Potter. 

September / October / November 

I am lumping these three months together in this review because truly, they are lumped together in my mind and heart. 

On September 11, I started my first practicum at CommunityWise. I really had no idea what to expect when I started there but looking back, I cannot believe how hard I lucked out. The U of C is VERY clinically-based when it comes to how it educates and describes the practice of social work. CW was the opposite of it all and day-to-day so much happens there that it is honestly impossible not to get dragged in at such a deep level that it literally forces you to care. When I was in practicum, I did a lot of reading and I came across this concept of a “disorienting dilemma” which is “an experience within which a current understanding is found to be insufficient or incorrect and the learner struggles with the resulting conflict of views. Such experiences often are those to which learners point as the beginning of the process of questioning their understanding and views and entering the transformative learning process” (Source). Truly, being in that space over the course of 300 hours created this for me. I was forced to confront a lot of racist and otherwise problematic shit that I have been brought up with and that comes up in small ways for me that I try and quash down for the sake of saving face. Poverty, addiction, mental health issues showed up LITERALLY on the doorstep and I was thrown into it all. The experience was a disorienting dilemma and it shook me out of my bubble and I have never fallen so deeply in love with social work. My supervisor and I formed a VERY close relationship that probably broke some ethical and professional boundaries and she was there for me to discuss social issues and experiences I was having in an honest way that really deconstructed things. I had my debit card stolen by a client on one occasion, had to call the DOAP team because I witnessed people in overdose more times than I can count, had to talk many a person down from suicide, befriended a very mentally ill person who suffers from delusions that they are an alien in a human body sent here to observe earth and report back to their master. We had to kick someone out of a workshop for being racist. It was a wild ride, honestly. There were many many positive things to come out of practicum. I built my professional network in ways I never would have been able to, I was able to move out of the “student” realm and step into the role of a social worker and advocate and professional. I did a lot of public speaking! I was out in the community talking to a million different people. I made videos and posters. And the best part of all is that even when my practicum ended, my connection to CW did not. They have hired me on as a digital storytelling intern (paid!) for the new year. Which is a major confidence boost and I just love CW and everyone there so much. I will literally be forever grateful to them for taking me under their collective wing and showing me I have the skills and abilities to be an effective social worker :) 

Ahem. Now on to some not-so-good things... 

The end of October was kind of difficult because I was attempting to manage practicum responsibilities, actual class projects and homework, second-round practicum interviews, and Famoso. I was very stressed out and it was not good, especially because I got a rejection from one interview and didn’t even get an interview at my top choice. I was feeling very sorry for myself and may or may not have cried at my desk at practicum. It all worked out in the end though, and actually I was offered a placement at the first place I interviewed – they just took a while to get back to me. She called me to let me know this while I was on a run and being idiot me, I picked up… panting and gasping for air in Nose Hill Park. She was like, “We’d like to offer you the place… wait, are you okay?”

I would also like to just slide it in here that I slept with my ex in October. Which wasn’t a particularly momentous occasion and was actually kind of funny because it felt so much like a one night stand. I am mostly putting this in here because I don’t think many people know that and I want to see who reads this far.

Along similarish lines – I PUT MYSELF OUT THERE AND ASKED SOMEONE ON A STRAIGHT UP DATE AND GOT REJECTED AND IT WAS HONESTLY SO EMBARASSING AND BRUTAL and it’s okay now but oh… my god. This also happened around the same time as the rejections from practicum placements and I had such a bad night where I got drunk on my couch alone and Cayley brought me burnt ends from her new job at a brewery because she was #concerned for me and I didn’t want to be alone. That’s a true friend right there.

December 

December is only halfway done - but I feel I can summarize it accurately. It has been a nice, tidy wrap up to the year. A month of podcasts, cleaning my house and my car and my life up, a mysterious knee injury that is really fucking me up, working a lot at Famoso, finishing my practicum and school semester. One thing I am dreading is that my brother’s girlfriend who our family is not particularly fond of will be joining us in Saskatoon this year. But we’ll cross that bridge when we come to it. 

In General 

2018 has been very stressful for me. But despite the stress, and sometimes out of it, have come some very nice, beautiful things. I said last year in my post that I wanted to become more deeply involved in my community and in activism and social work and in that way I think I have excelled. I’m in it now, you guys. I feel capable. I feel motivated. I feel CONFIDENT. And I’m fucking excited to see what comes in the future. 

I nearly doubled the amount of people I’ve slept with so that’s... a notable thing that happened this year. 

It has been nice to feel a return to a sense of belonging with my old high school group of friends. In a way, I feel more united with them than ever. I guess not having a partner that they all hate helps. But also, I think I’ve just been feeling more and more like myself. But to Connor, Steven, Matt, Adam and the assortment of new(er) members that come and go - I am very grateful for you all. It has also been good for my heart and soul to become so close with people from podcast club. It’s actually like... really hard to make new friends. Podcast club made it easy. And I found myself on a Friday night in Maddy and Ben’s apartment, watching cooking shows and teaching them how to play card games, laughing until I cried and drinking wine. And it’s like... who else gets together on EVERY Sunday morning to discuss podcasts? For fun? I know relationships change and dissolve and grow from each year to the next but I just have a deep feeling that some of these friendships are the real deal. And I’m really lucky. It sounds so ~fake deep~ and lame but honestly podcast club is making me a better, happier, less anxious person. 

2019: 

I think 2019 is going to have to be the year that I really, truly grow the fuck up. I’m not mad about this. I look forward to crushing through 400 more hours of practicum, graduating and getting my degree. Hopefully entering the work force for real (this prospect is honestly so exciting to me... I creep the job boards every day daydreaming about what I might eventually do when I leave the world of waitressing) and making some adult money. 

I also like... totally got fat in 2018 so 2019 will involve some activities to counterbalance this. AND I have a ticket to Big Valley Jamboree. Which is hilarious because I think if you asked 2015 Megan what she’d never do, it would be “go to BVJ” but here I am, ticket in hand, excitement mounting by the day. Boots on, bitches. 

Some of my goals or things I’d like to work on in 2019 are to become less attached to social media and more invested in the actual moment/doing of things rather than recording them (ironic as I type this MASSIVE year in review post, yes), to get into a healthy and sustainable pattern of exercise where I don’t just like become obsessed with it for a little while and then slowly taper off and then do none of it for like six months... and honestly? I want to download a bunch of those dating apps again and just go for it. I think you can learn so much about yourself through dating and I’ve been such a recluse this year for the most part because I have been sort-of-but-not seeing someone since literally JULY but we’re not actually together and I don’t know what’s going on. I just need to get over my own insecurities and anxiety and just jump in with both feet. It’ll be fun. It’ll be crazy. I’m excited. 

The rest of it, as always, is an open book. Who knows where I will be, what I will be doing, or who I will be doing it with by this time next year? Not I. 

[wanderawe]

Buffalo River Trail - A Story of  a Valiant Attempt

So, I haven't written much about the trip to Arkansas, even though it was a while ago now, and we still had a blast, because I was disappointed.

Just like a new beautiful journal with crisp clean pages, I feel like on this clean and clear blog I need to have something big and beautiful and IMPORTANT to say. I want to post only the best stories and successes because that's what we do online these days- we post the best stuff and pretend that's all there is. But oddly enough, I was having a conversation with a friend where we realized something we missed most about the "old internet" was that it wasn't all successes and prettiness, and clean modern templates around perfect Instagram-ready pictures. It was full of rambling blog posts, emo song lyrics, poorly put together HTML and terrifying random pictures of people doing unspeakable things with jars. It was messy and chaotic and that's what made it so cool.

So that's what I want to do. I want to bring back a little bit of what I nostalgically remember from the "old internet" excitement about things even when I'm not awesome at things, and honestly even when it's not flattering, just because it feels good to be honest like that.

So here's what happened in Arkansas, and why it was by no means a failure of a trip or vacation, but also not a big motivational success story.

We completed day 1, and made it to the landing in Ponca, and about half way to Steel Creek before calling in the troops to come get us.

So, because of super strict work black out periods this year for both myself and Dee, we had a very narrow window to go, which was early June. Really, according to the locals, fall and winter are the best times to go, and spring isn't terrible either if you don't mind some rain. Summer, is really no good because of many reasons, but about the LAST time to even bother is early June, so we just barely were able to make it in.

Before we get into all the reasons we only did the first day (spoiler), let’s talk about some awesome stuff on the trail: 

*Blackberries, everywhere, it was awesome. I am like the blackberry spotting and picking master. I swear I was eating the entire time and it was all beautiful blackberries. My hiking partners were very sick of hearing “ooh! Blackberries!” but I never got sick of saying it. The one picture I took though it not very representative of my haul

*It was gorgeous! Just look at this!

*I had the best time with my dad and partner. Super bonding experience

*Random little bits of magic like: 

What is this? It was up at the very top, at least a mile from anything vehicle accessible. There was no other clutter around it. It looked massive and heavy. How did it get there? Does anyone reading this happen to have any sort of insight into this? Please let me know!

*Ponca, where we hung out and waited for “rescue”, taking off our boots, playing in the water, comparing water filter speeds and drinking Gatorade. It was lovely. 

-One of the reasons for this is heat, but we're from Texas, and it was a good 10-15 degrees cooler on the trail than what we were training in. It was still really hot weather for my dad though, who also is of the old army mentality with heavy pants and boots, that we were only kind of able to trim down when we did the pre-trip shake down on him. We took a good 10 lbs off of his pack and gear, and he was still 7 lbs heavier than Dee or I with things he refused to let go of. It was a heavy load in hot weather.

-Bad Omens right away that played with our heads. This was not a comforting sign, although I’m glad it was there and we saw it. 

-Another reason is one that we did not have a full grasp of what it meant when people talked about "bugs" being an issue. Again, we're from Texas, we deal with mosquitoes all the time. Our clothes and gear were all treated with permethrin, we had bug spray - totally doable. But mosquitoes were not the "bugs" people were talking about.

-The "bugs" were ticks. Lots of them. OMG so many ticks. Every time we stopped I had to take my bag of to get them off of my hips and stomach where they had snuggled in under my hip belt. At one point Dee stopped me to swipe dozens of them off of the backs of my legs as we walked through some brush on an overgrown part of the trail.

-Follow up reason: How incredibly overgrown everything was. It was a good spring this year apparently, and this is not exactly a super popular trial with lots of foot traffic. EVERYTHING was overgrown with grass. EVERYTHING. Twice we lost the trail when it went into a large clearing of hip high grass to twist around, and we had to do some strategic splitting up and shouting at each other when we made it back to the tree line to try and find where the trail was.

-Follow up reason follow up: OMG Arkansas is so beautiful, and so green in the summer. Coming from dry South Texas, it is straight up SEDUCTIVE when you drive in to be surrounded on all sides at all times by so much tall green lushness. But there's a point though, when it's incredibly humid and you're worked up from a steep incline that it almost starts to feel claustrophobic. Then you finish a bunch of steep inclines up about 1000 ft and the view looks exactly the same as it did before you started climbing, and you can't help but lose perspective a little.

There was a point near the end, where over and over and over we would climb, and it would level out, and we would think we were at the top. Then it would go down, and we were thrilled, and then we would make it around that blind curve to find another climb and turn exactly like the one we had just finished. And without any landmarks on the horizon, they all started to look identical. I swear, I was SURE at one point that I had fallen into some crack in the space-time continuum, and was hiking the same mile of trail over and over in a circle and would be for the rest of time.

-Fitness: Dee and I are not stellar examples of in shape. We have a long way to go, and we're getting there by doing things. But we do train, and we do get out and do things of a physical, hiking and biking nature. We're also pretty used to walking around with our packs on. The trail is not incredibly hard, but there are times that you definitely need to stop and take a break before you can finish the thousandth climb of the day. My dad however did not seem to realize until we were on the trail just how much retiring from hunting people every day and training his dog as a K-9 officer and moving to the country side where he feeds some chickens and moves stuff around on his tractor trailer every day has changed his level of physical fitness. He was getting really shakey near the end. He was really self-conscious about it. I tried to exaggerate some huffing and puffing every now and then, and ask for a break when it looked like he needed on, and let me say, it got to my head. Acting tired made me feel even more tired. And there was a point where I crossed into that weird, exhausted, painful, beautiful bliss.

And that's when the group and I diverged a little. If it were just just one of these things, we could all deal. All of them together turned the trip from a fun adventure into a weird survivalist penance for modern day existence and comforts. I did not know this about myself but I DIG IT.

I mean, I love fun adventure too, but it was meditative for me to suffer in such beauty because I have allowed myself to become squishy on modern convenience and cleanliness and bug-free climate controlled indoors. It cleared my mind of all the bull that had left it so clouded in a humid exhausted wave. I was filled with nature and the physical world where walls were made of trees and not cubicle cloth. Money wasn't a concern - I couldn't bribe the ticks off of me. There was no time in the massive green tunnel. This was freedom.

Also, I can’t escape the feeling that this absurdly deep hole went to some place in The Other, and it was a little unnerving to me how curious I was to explore it. The picture does not do justice for what a hole into the void this was. 

Dee and my dad did not have the same experience. They were tired, and hot, and freaked out by the ticks. And wanted to go home. At one point, my dad fell back so that he could go as slow as he needed without feeling bad, and we walked ahead, saw how narrow steep and deadly the trail from Ponca to Steel Creek was, and how sloppy all of us had gotten with out feet, and decided it was best to go back to Ponca, and call my step-mom to come save us. They didn't want weird transcendental nature-penance. They weren't having fun. They wanted a shower and a beer, and I couldn't blame them. Plus it's not like I was going to just say "peace" and walk for two more days alone in the Arkansas wilderness. So, we bailed. We went home and enjoyed junk food and reclining chairs. I discovered I have an allergy to ticks that makes bites super itchy and gross looking (and yes it is just an allergy, I've had it checked, I don't have lyme disease).

But it was the best decision. It was the decision that saved us from hurting ourselves, or ruining our whole vacation and remembering it as misery.

And, I got some really pretty pictures of lots of trees before I started tripping out on green.

I know I’ve already shown this one. I just really liked it. 

[jerrysmithsexy12-blog]

Jerry :( I'm sad, something really depressing happened earlier and I need your help cheering me up.

ok please enjoy this. :)

JERRY X READER FANFIC

——

Your name is (Your First Name) Bungalow Bill… and your the sexiest mother fucker on this street. every day your just so sexy that you have to cover all your mirrors. your orbs is (your eyecolor) and your strands are (your haircolor)

One day youre just taking a swim in the lake downtown. Just swimming all around in there with your pecs and swimming down and grabbing trouts in your bare hands. You hear a little something and you look around. You don’t see anything but then you keep looking… And. You see… someone drownding…

your legs go fast and your arms to fast and you swim to them. you pick their body up out of the water noting how buff it is… and ripped. Your blushing cause well you just think thats so handsome. you pull the man out of the water and hold him above. He coughs up water and blood and he looks at you with those big sexy marbles (eyes)

His wet brown lock curls and strands are on his head. “Hi thank you” he says handsomely, his voice like a speedrun of darksouls 2. “I’m Jerry… Jerry smith. thank you for rescuing me my prince…”

Your just so embarassed and you swuirm around. “Ahhh!!!! X_X 0mg Lol… anything for you bigboy… Glad i could help baby boy.” your so sweaty and your shoes are so small on your feet. You take off your shirt cause its so hot and reveal a tattoo of vegeta.

Jerry sees this and his eyes go blind of love. “Omg… I know you… Are you by any chance BungyChungyBill62 on ao3?!” he screams. “Yes” Uou say firmly back. “Oh my god i love your vegeta fanfics so much he is just so smexy am i right?!” he says. You smile proudly. “I agree.”

Papa J stands up and brushes off his shirt. “Well i should probably get going soon i have to go back home and cook dinner for my children�� he holds up a fish that he caught in the water. “Those babys are gonna love this. Just kidding they hate all my meals and I’m alone”

You both chuckle and laugh at that funny joke!

You part ways and go back to your apartment where you sigh dreamily. Jerrey….. Oh he was so epic. but now that you have tasted perfection, what does life matter? you sit on your couch and play super monkey ball until you pass out at 6 am.

—–

The Next Morning

you wake up and take out your laptop and look at it. you have 3 new private messages. one is a continuation of your teen titans go roleplay thread. one is from your boss telling you that youre fired. and one… is from Jerry

“Hi (your name). Do you want to come camping with me this weekend, we have 6 pairs of hiking boots and there is only 5 of us in my family. I need to repay you for saving my life. Please respond. Love Jerry”

you fcking type “Yes” into the keyboard so good and you hit send. You are so excited you go to Walmart and you buy fishing line and bug spray and a whole canoe and you go home and knit yourself a sweater and it says “I LOVE JERRY” on it and you wear it.

-/——-

the next day

you hear honcking of a car outside and you go out there and see Jerry waving from his car. you take your suitcase and you go out there so fast and you see him. “Hi (name)? my family is so happy to see you are coming” he says. “guys this is the man who saved my life. ”

They are all playig magikarp jump and they dont say hi or look at you

“Haha well you know how it is” he says sexily. Everything about him is so tender and strong. “Hop in the trunk sorry we have no other room” he says and he gets out of the car and helps you into the trunk. You lay down in there and he kisses your forehead and closes it down and you just play your 3ds in there for a few hours

On the way there they stop and you get out cause you are all going in to get food on the way from McDonald’s. you step out and stretch and Jerry and you all go in.

You decide to talk to his family. “hi are you jerrys wife?” you say to Beth.“ unfortunately LOL” she says. Your so mad and angry. Beth goes to the counter. “uhhh can i get a. Fucking large Coke and 3 tomattos and a cookie and a salad and crotons and just a little Oreo mcflurry yes that will be all” she says. When she isnt looking you take her Coke and you put 10 salt packets into it.

Next you talk to morty he is just sitting at a table tying his shoes. “Hi morty jerrys son? I’ve heard so much about you” you say. Jerry didn’t tell you anything about him but also I forgot you have mind reading powers and you just know. morty looks up at you and he says “yeah” and he takes off his shoelaces and throws them in the garbage and takes off his shoes and throws them in the garbage cause he does not know how to tie them.

now youre talkig to summer. she is skyping with her boyfriend. “And so then they all shoot the ancient minister and his cape catches on fire and its fucking rob!!!!!Oh hold on one second. Hi what do you want” she says. “Oh hi summer just…… well just saying hi cause we are camping together. Are you having fun” “no” she says. “Ok well… maybe i have something for you…” you reach into your suitcase and just pull out a book. it says WARRIORS volume 1. you hand it to her. “try reading this bitch.” “Ok maybe i will bitch!!!!”

You walk up to their grabdpa Rick. “Hi Rick.” you say. “Dontever talk to me again” he says and he takes a real gun out of his pocket and shoots you

You wake up in the trunk of the car and walk back into McDonald’s. They are all eating their nuggets. “Ok there you are you died for a little bit there” they say. Jerry takes your hand. (your name) please come in the play place with me" he says. “Ok” you say and you both go in the McDonald’s play place and you have a fun time on the slide playing tag

When you are done you go back in the trunk and go to the campsite. When you get there you get out and breathe in the fresh air and 4 mosquitos. “Ahh… The fresh air” you say… “Boy do I love camping” you say and you take your suitcase and open it up and just chug one of those bottles of bug spray.

Jerry comes up to you. He has a headband that says JERRY RULES on it and he is wearing a shirt with Dwayne the rock Johnson smiling and giving a thumbs up. he is wearing very short shorts and sandles with socks and fingerless gloves and eyeshadow and blue lipstick. He winks at you. “Are you ready to have some fun” he says. You do a little dance. “Oppa gangnam style yes i am Jerry!” You are wearing skinny jeans, your I love Jerry sweater, a wolf hat because your fursona is a wolf, high heels, and a ripped vest with fake plastic crystals on the back.

You and jerry help set up the tent whole beth and summer just drink mountain dew and no one knows where rick and morty are. when you have finished setting up the tent there are 2 wasp nests in there and you are very scared. “Kyaaa…” you squeal and hide behind Jerry. “oh no need to fear (YOUR NAME HERE) they dont call me Jerry for a reason” he said. he Walks in there and just rips off the wasp nests in his bare hands and eats them and you see him grow slightly larger as he does. He turns to you and winks. You fall over and faint

When you wake up you are in the tent. it’s pretty dark out. you go outside and morty is on fire and everyone is roasting marshmallows on him. “oh hi (name) you sure sleep a lot and die a lot!” says Jerry and they all kek and laugh together. You blush in embarrassment. Jerry walks over to you handsomely. “Hi motherfucker do you want to take a walk and play pokemon go” he asks. You pull your phone out of your (your area of choice) “Yes” you say. both of you hold hands and start walking down the dark streets.

You can see illuminated from the fires that people are having. And also Jerry is giving off a faint glow. “Wow Jerry… you’re so beautiul tonight” you say bash fully. He smiles. “Yeah I know” he whispers. “Want to go somewhere cool?” he asks. “Yes” you say and dab.

Jerry and you go deep into the woods. “Jerry I csnt see anything” you say. “Oh one moment.” He grunts hard and focuses. Hundreds of fireflies come flying over to him and land on him and he is glowing now. You are amazed and crying. “Jerry I have to say something…” you say. “I’m in love with you!”

Jerry gasps and puts a hand up to his face and he swallows some fireflies accidentally. “Oh (your name)! I’m in love with you too!”

you both lean in… but then suddenly… a green portal opens behind you. some ricks come out and one of them pushes Jerry off a cliff and he dies. “Ahhhhhhh my beautiful Jerry!!! you… you mother fuckers will pay…” you say and flex hard. You start transforming into your beast form. Your hands get long and your ears get wolf ears. Your teeth become sharp and your eyes are glowing red and you are shacking. But before you can do anything a tranquilizer dart is shot into your back and you can’t see and you fall asleep.

————

You wake up in a brightly colored room well its white. It’s space jail and you are in it and to your right is a big buff space man and he looks so mean and weird. “where am i…?” you moan and you look around. Then a tv comes down and a Rick is on the tv.

“Ok so we thought you were gonna be Beth lol” he says. “we didnt excepet jerry to be kissing some stranger in the woods but i guess thats just fucken jerry bitch!!!!! Anyways we cant let you go now cause we found a rare mineral in your body. in 2 days we will harvest it and you will die sorry.” and he hangs up

You collapse to the floor and start crying and bawling. Why does this happen to you? “Jerry…” you cry out. “I want your hot and sweet tender loins to come and hold me…”

“Oh really?” a voice says. You recognise that voice… Its Jerry. But he is not here! Then the alien to the left of you takes off its mask and it is Jerry. “Hi motherfucker” he says.

“OH JERRY!!!!!” you scream and run into his arms. “oh Jerry I thought you were DEAD!!!” you whisper loudly. and kiss his little eyelashes. “Oh I was. but I respawned then.” he says. “and now I’m gonna get you out of here bich!!!!”

He raises a hand above him and starts screaming. The entire prison you are locked in is turned into minecraft blocks. he absorbs them all and quickly crafts a spaceship for you to fly in. You both get in. “Hey you can’t do that what are you doing!!!!” Some ricks scream… But your flying just so much. And you go.

—–////–

You arrive back at the campground in the morning. you both step out. “Jerry what the fuck” says everyone at once. you are so glad to be back on earth.

Then Jerry collapsed onto the ground. “J… Jerry…? what’s wrong…?” you ask and get on your knees to feel his forehead. He is getting sick.

“I can’t survive this long without… Nutrients…” he whimpers. “I need the earth and wood and grass to survive im running out of time” he says his eyes fading away.

You grab some dirt and wood chips and put them in his mouth. he eats them. “yum… thank you…” he says softly. “But. I’m afraid it’s too late…”

His body goes limp.

“Ah Jerry…! No!!!!!!!!!” you scream and you put your lips to jerrys and Kiss him. He starts to glow and you are kissing and he rises up and he is glowing and he suddenly had a Beaitiful white suit on and he is alive.

“Oh (your name) you brought me back…! To life…!” he says and he hugs you. “thank you the power of LOVE saved me” he says crying. Your also crying. “Oh Jerry I love you so much you are so ripped and handsome and muscular and stronf and desirable and underrated and underappreciated…” you both embrace and kiss.

“Honey” says jery to Beth. “I think… I need to see someone else.”

“ok” says Beth. “we have been divorced for 3 years Jerry.”

“haha lol!” you all have a good laugh and slap your knees and you and Jerry are glowing and kissing and you both combine and melt into each other and fuse into one big buff man.

——- EPILOGUE ——–

You now enjoy your life as a fusion perfectly happy and married and you go around giving warrior cat books to people to get them hooked on warriors.

summer also is a cat now cause she loves them so much she asked Rick to turn her into one.

Beth is single and she is loving her life she is strong and goes on dates and she brings horses to life.

Morty hasnt worn shoes in 7 years. That’s ok though he is working on it.

Rick is exactly the same but he wears eyeliner now.

—– THE END ——

[heebiejbies]

Limerence - Chapter VIII

Limerence Masterlist

Characters: Sehun, Suho, and OC (Ursula)

Warnings: This series contains mentions of assault, sexual violence, and stalking.

Word Count: 5.0k

Note: This chapter has a somewhat long scene of graphic violence in it. There will be mentions of blood, bones being broken, ect. And also some Sehun feels but this entire series is full of that.

Limerence:  The state of being infatuated or obsessed with another person, typically experienced involuntarily and characterized by a strong desire for reciprocation of one’s feelings.

The sound of someone knocking on the door shook me awake. I sat up and realized that I had fallen asleep on the couch sometime earlier in the morning. I picked up the remote from the floor and turned the TV off, then got up to see who was at the door. I was surprised to open the door to see Suho standing then.

“Is now a bad time?” He questioned, clearly seeing the state that I was in.

“Oh, no of course not. I’m sorry, come in. I’ll put some coffee on,” I said, inviting him to come inside.

I put a pot of coffee on, and then went upstairs to change into jeans and a t-shirt. I came back downstairs and saw that Suho was looking out the window as if he was looking for someone. When he heard my feet hit the floor, he turned back around and came away from the window. I went into the kitchen, grabbed two mugs, and poured coffee in each.

“So, what brings you by this morning?” I asked, after our talk last night I didn’t think he’d come over. Especially not so early in the morning.

“Ah about that, I came to talk about Sehun.” He said. At the mention of his name, my head became flooded with memories of the dream I had. I shifted in my seat in discomfort, “What about him?”

“I’m not saying this to alarm you, and it may just be some childish act, but I still want you to know. I went into his room yesterday after you left, and he has tons of pictures of you hidden by a book on his dresser. I wanted to tell you last night when we were on the phone, but something told me that then wasn’t a good time.”

“That’s so weird,” I muttered, Suho looking up at me in question, “Now that you mention that, the day that I helped you with your flowerbed and we had dinner together, I found a picture of me under a book on his dresser.” He looked at me, his eyes widening.

“You don’t think he’s dangerous… Do you?” I asked, what if that dream I had was a sign? A far-fetched idea it was, but if he was dangerous I wanted to distance myself from him as soon as possible.

It was just a dream, don’t blow it out of proportion. 

“No, I know he’s not dangerous. He just has odd tendencies. All of the pictures I saw looked as if they came off of social media sites, so it’s not as if he has been stalking you or anything.” The photo I found was from a social media website, so I wasn’t too worried about that now that Suho cleared up the air. At least he didn’t have any pictures of me in the shower or anything like that.

“Ursula, listen to me. I did say he wasn’t dangerous, but I still want you to keep an eye out,” He warned, laying a hand on my arm.

“I understand. I’ll watch out.”

Later that day, I decided to go visit my brother. I knew that he could help me try and figure out what exactly was going on in my head lately. Something clouds my judgment when I think about Sehun. What exactly it is that clouds it, I am not sure. I just know that I become very nervous when thinking about it. If that nervous energy is a good or a bad feeling, that I also am not sure of.

My brother lived roughly an hour away, and he lived in what I could classify as the middle of nowhere. The nearest city was around 45 minutes away, and the nearest neighbor was a good 5-minute drive away. He lived in a truly peaceful place, though. You always feel so at peace after being at his home.

We sat beside the pool in his backyard, soaking up the newly warm weather of summer. We spent some time catching up on everything that has happened in one another’s lives since the last time we saw each other in person. He showed me the horses that he recently bought, even taking me for a ride around the outskirts of his land. The view of the mountains from there had to be one of the most breathtaking sites I’ve ever seen. Everything seemed so relaxing. He brought me over to a stream at the foot of the mountain, letting our horses get a drink before heading back to his house.

It was around sunset when we got back. He had invited a few of his friends over to come eat dinner, seeing as he decided to cook out for him and I. We were once again in his backyard when I finally got around to talking about Sehun.

“Urs, what’s on your mind? I can tell that something is bothering you.” He closed the lid of his grill and came to sit beside me on his patio. The one thing I could always count on my brother for was to read my emotions like an open book. Despite me hiding my emotions well, he could see right through my facade every time.

“Do you remember the new neighbor I told you about, Sehun?” He nodded his head. “Well, to put it simply, I’m so confused about what I feel about our relationship. We’re not dating, but he’s expressed his feelings towards me and I have feelings for him as well. It’s just, when I think about him I have this weird wave of anxiety come over me, and I can’t tell if it’s a good or a bad feeling,” I explained. 

“Urs, wow. Feelings for a boy huh? Does he know how special he is?” He joked. He bumped my shoulder with his own and laughed. “But, in all seriousness, what do you think it is?”

“I, well,” I paused, “I think it’s… Good?” I sighed, “I don’t know Casp, I told him about what dad did and he took me by surprise. He didn’t seem to pity me, he tried to make me feel happy. He has tried to protect me ever since I told him, it’s weird to me. I even mindlessly asked who would love someone like me, and he said he would. I don’t know if he said it as a spur of the moment thing to comfort me, or if he actually meant it. I’m just so confused and I don’t know what to do.”

“I hate to break it to you, but I can’t help you here. You’re going to have to unscramble this puzzle by yourself. What I can tell you, though, is that I personally think he has been good for you. Mom has mentioned how you’ve changed since meeting him.” I debated on if I should tell him about the pictures that I found, knowing Caspian he would have one of two reactions. He’d laugh it off as a joke, or he’d become overprotective and take back everything he said about Sehun previously. I had to tell him, though, I wasn’t going to be one of those girls who doesn’t say anything about something they find sketchy.

“There is one thing,” I waited for him to look at me, “I was in his room once day, and I found pictures of me in his room. His friend also found the pictures of me, I mean they seemed to be from social media accounts so it isn’t as if he’s been taking pictures of me, but it still struck me as odd.”

What happened next made me want to facepalm. Caspian started laughing uncontrollably, he even almost fell out of his chair for how hard he was laughing. “First of all, sister dear, what were you doing nosing around in his room? Secondly, he probably just really thinks you’re hot. Boys are weird like that.”

I was dumbfounded. Not only did he laugh, he suggested that the pictures were a normal thing. I didn’t want to worry my brother, so I just laughed it off with him and didn’t comment more on the subject. He was probably right anyway. Before he could add something to his previous comment, we heard the sound of his friends calling his name.

We didn’t speak of the topic the rest of the evening. Not until later that night before I left, that is. I sat on Caspian’s porch swing, listening to the peaceful sound of the frogs and bugs that kept the nighttime from being silent. Caspian came outside and sat down next to me, “Urs, I know there is something else bothering you about this Sehun guy. What is it? Is it dad?”

“Of course it is.” After I did some thinking, I realized what I thought my problem was. I didn’t want to admit it, but everything that happened with my father made me absolutely terrified of having any form of a relationship with a guy that wasn’t my brother. “I mean if the man that is half responsible for me being alive didn’t love me how could anyone else? As long as he lives, he’s always going to be a reminder of my thoughts like this. I don’t think these thoughts will ever go away, Caspian, and I hate feeling so weak because of someone that shouldn’t mean a thing to me or hurt me in any way.”

“You’re not weak, you’re a normal human being with normal emotions like the rest of us. Anyone would feel what you do in the situation, what you feel isn’t uncommon I promise you that. I know that because of what happened you built more walls around yourself, and you stopped trusting people so easily. If this guy managed to gain your trust and affection, he won’t be like dad. You did say that he said he would love someone like you? I don’t think he would go so far as to say that if he didn’t have the best intentions at heart.” He wrapped his arm around my shoulders and pulled me into a hug, “I can’t tell you what to do, but hearing all of this I think you should give him a chance. Even if you’re afraid to let any potential of new love into your life, I think this would be a good time to take a chance.”

As I was driving home I thought about what Caspian told me. To be perfectly honest I did feel something towards Sehun, and I didn’t think he had any ill intentions. However, I still had this nagging feeling in the back of my mind that seemed to be telling me to tread lightly. That had to be the part of me that is trying to protect me from getting hurt again like my dad hurt me.

How would I know if he had only pure intentions if I didn’t give him a chance? I decided that I should stop running from him and just try and see where we go. I needed to forget my worries and fears and just try and live without them for a moment. Hopefully, that will help. Maybe Sehun could help me break all of these fears once and for all. Maybe he could help me move on and forget about that part of my life.

Sehun… Just what the hell are you doing to me?

Sehun had parked his car in the woods around two miles away from Caspian's house. He walked through the woods and stepped onto his property after around 40 minutes. The sun had already set so it would be hard to see that he was lurking around. He waited for Caspian’s friends to leave, then he approached the porch and hid around the corner. If Ursula or her brother were to look off the porch, he would far enough to be out of sight but close enough to hear what they were saying. He waited ten more minutes before Ursula came out. He peered above the porch to look at her. She looked so at peace, but Sehun could tell that something was bothering her.

Thankfully, Caspian managed to get that something out of her, “Urs, I know there is something else bothering you about this Sehun guy. What is it? Is it dad?” At the sound of hearing him mention their father, Sehun could feel his blood begin to boil. That asshole again?

“Of course it is. I mean, if the man that is half responsible for me being alive didn’t love me how could anyone else? As long as he lives, he’s always going to be a reminder of my thoughts like this. I don’t think these thoughts will ever go away, Caspian, and I hate feeling so weak because of someone that shouldn’t mean a thing to me or hurt me in any way.”

Sehun clenched his fists so tight that his nails dug into his skin. He is still bothering her and he isn’t even in her life. Who does he think he is to do this to her?

‘Sehun, you know what you have to do.’

I have to help her… I have to do something about him.

‘Sehun, you should not do anything to him. You could get in serious trouble.’

I don’t care. As long as he’s free from Ursula’s mind then I don’t care about the consequences.

‘See, Sehun? You know your next move. This will help her, I promise you that once you complete this task she will be yours.’

‘No, please, Sehun think about this rationally. This is not the way to go, can you not see that?’

The only thing I see is that my love is being hurt and I can do something to stop it.

‘Good boy. Now, hurry, the sooner the better.’

The second voice in Sehun’s conscience had fallen silent, it seemed that he gave up on trying to save Sehun’s sanity. It was too late, he was too far gone now.

Sehun began forming a plan in his head later that night. He caught up on some work he had neglected to do earlier that day, he nearly knocked his office chair over when he finally finished the last parts of his plan. He changed to his monitor on the far left of his desk and typed something in. He went to Facebook, then continued his typing. Within two minutes he had successfully accessed Ursula’s Facebook page. He went to her list of people she had blocked and found her father. He clicked on his page and sent him a message. He knew how men like her father thought, and he knew the perfect thing to say to him. 

Hey, dad, listen. I know we had a falling out a few years ago, but you were right. Everything you said was right, but I want to change that. I’ll do whatever it takes for you to love me, I don’t want to be around mom and Caspian anymore. They are holding me back, I need to have you in my life to finally become of worth. I hope you accept my offer, we can meet and talk about where to go from here. I’ll do whatever you ask of me, as long as it makes you love me. 

He replied within twenty minutes.

I can’t say I’m surprised to hear from you. I knew you would finally see that I’m not the bad person. I’m glad to see that you are seeing things from my point of view. Name the time and the place, I’ll be there.

Caught ya.

Sehun arranged for them to meet in the parking lot of an old supermarket.

I left mom’s house, so I’m staying in a hotel right now. I have to work late so my boyfriend will pick you up and bring you to the hotel.

Your boyfriend? Huh, that sure is a surprise lol. I’ll look out for him.

Damn scumbag. Sehun pulled beside the only car in the parking lot. A man around 48 got out, that was Ursula’s father. He came over to the driver side, Sehun rolling down the window, “I’m her boyfriend. Get in.” He got in the car and Sehun drove away. He didn’t say a word until he noticed Sehun was driving out of the city and not to a hotel. “Where the fuck are we going?”

“She’s staying in a hotel in a city thirty minutes from here. She wanted to be out of this city for good,” Sehun lied through his teeth. He could tell that her father was an idiot because he just blindly believed Sehun’s terrible lie. Sehun drove around fifteen minutes out, now in the middle of the woods. He faked car trouble and pulled over on the side of a bridge. He popped the hood and exited the car. He pretended to be messing around with something under the hood, but in reality, he was waiting for her father to get impatient and come help him.

“Hold on, let me get something out of the back seat, I know what to do,” Sehun said once he heard the passenger door open. He opened the back door to the driver side, put on a pair of gloves, and picked something up out of the floorboard—a tire iron. He shut the door and went back to the front of the car where he saw her father peering at the motor, “I don’t see a damn thing wrong with the thing, kid.” He looked up to see that Sehun had a tire iron in his hand, “What good is that going to do?”

Sehun let out a cackle, raising the tire iron in the air, “Oh, it will do plenty.” Her father realized the situation and turned to run away, but before he could Sehun hit him over the back of the head. He fell to the ground and Sehun hit his spine, then proceeded to roll his body over to he could look at him. He could see the fear in her father’s eyes, something he wished Ursula could see. “How does it feel, huh? To be helpless at the hand of someone stronger?” Sehun brought the tire iron down onto his abdomen, he could feel a few of his ribs snap upon impact.

“Please, stop! I’m sorry! Please just stop hurting me!” Tears started falling from his eyes, making Sehun laugh once again. He stood there and watched as her father tried to roll over on his back to crawl away. He got only a few steps away before Sehun grabbed him by his feet and yanked him back to where he was before. “Where are you going, Denny? We were just starting to have some fun.”

Sehun got on his knees and grabbed Denny by the back of his hair, “You know, I’m actually going rather easy on you for how much hatred I have for you.”

“What did I ever do to you?” Denny cried.

“What did you ever do? What did YOU,” He lifted his head and then bashed it against the asphalt, “EVER,” Back onto the pavement, “DO,” The last time Sehun slammed his face into the asphalt, he flipped Denny over onto his back once again. He forced Denny to open his eyes and look at him, “The love of my life is scared to love me because of you. You hurt her, and you are still hurting her. The only way for us to live happily ever after is for you to be gone.” Sehun grabbed the tire iron once again and assessed the damage. Denny had blood all over his face, mainly coming from scratches from the asphalt and his now broken nose. Denny started coughing, blood spurting from his mouth.

“Hmph,” Sehun scoffed, “You are weak. This was nothing but a little beating.”

“This won’t change what she is, she’s worthless and you know it!” Denny had one last spike of spite and laughed despite his current condition, this made Sehun see red.

“Don’t you EVER.”

Red.

“SAY ANYTHING.”

The color of blood.

“ABOUT HER.”

The color of rage.

“EVER AGAIN.”

The color of vengeance.

“I WILL KILL YOU!” Denny stopped laughing when he realized just how angry Sehun was. Sehun brought the tire iron down onto his skull with such a massive force, it cracked into his skull. Denny wasn’t dead, no he was still conscious. That’s what Sehun wanted. “I’ll kill you with my own two hands!”

Sehun dropped down to his knees and wrapped his gloved hands around Denny’s throat. He squeezed as tight as he could, cutting off Denny’s air supply. “You will never hurt her again!” Sehun saw Ursula’s face flash in his mind. He saw her smiling face with her hand stretched out to him, “Thank you Sehun, I love you,” She said.

A lone tear slipped out of Sehun’s eye, bringing him back to reality. He could see the life slowly leaving Denny’s eyes which prompted him to let go. Denny was nearly unconscious, Sehun knew that this was his chance. He stood back up and once again picked up the tire iron.

“Your son was right. With you gone there will be one less piece of shit on the Earth.” He smirked at Denny’s almost lifeless body. He could see tears and blood still streaming down his face, he let out a giggle and brought the tire iron high above his head. “You won’t get in mine and my love’s way anymore!” He brought the tire iron down onto his skull once again. This time, bringing it right back up and bashing it against his skull again. On the asphalt in front of them, you could see the shadow of Sehun bashing his head thanks to the headlights of Sehun’s car. You could also hear Sehun’s grunts and heavy breathing, and indiscernible pieces of sentences slipping past his lips as he continued swinging. Each swing slowly becoming more and more forceful.

With one last swing, Sehun landed the tire iron in what used to be the middle of Denny’s forehead. He let the tire iron go, letting it fall to the asphalt with a clank. He moved around Denny’s now dead body to admire the damage he did. You couldn’t even recognize his face anymore. It was so badly bashed in, no one would be able to identify him this way. The blood seeping from his head left a rather massive pool of blood in the middle of the bridge. Sehun smirked at Denny’s slaughter, feeling that he had finally pleased Ursula.

Sehun wondered how he should clean the blood up, but then he felt a raindrop fall on his cheek, causing him to look up into the night sky as it started pouring down rain. Sehun dragged Denny’s body to the edge of the bridge, lifting him up to the ledge and tossing him into the water below. He then picked up the tire iron and tossed it into the water as well. He went back to his car and opened the door. He took off his blood-soaked gloves and shoes and put them in a plastic bag. He also grabbed a towel from his backseat and cleaned his face and dried some of the blood from his clothes. He slipped on a fresh pair of shoes and then put the towel in the back with his old shoes and gloves.

He got in his car and started it back up. He looked at the slowly vanishing puddle of blood, putting his car in reverse and backing off of the bridge. In his rearview mirror he could see the rain washing the blood away, he started to drive away. He looked back once again before speeding up, letting nature do his work for him.

‘Good work, Sehun. She said that as long as he was alive, he would be a reminder of her doubts. Now that he is gone, there will be no doubts to keep you apart.’

The second voice, still absent from his mind.

I can’t wait until tomorrow. I want to see her so badly now!

Sehun arrived back home, entering his house with the plastic bag in hand. He went into his bathroom and stripped himself. He turned the water on and stepped into the shower. The blood that the rain didn’t wash away was now being washed away by the shower. He looked down at the red water going down the drain. 

Red. The color that filled him with rage not even two hours ago now filled him with content. 

He grabbed his shampoo and started to wash his hair. He mused over the thought of how happy Ursula would be now that her father was gone. How much more peaceful her thoughts would be. How she would finally let herself love him like he knows she is afraid to do.

After he showered, he put the rest of his bloodied clothes in the plastic bag and went downstairs to the fireplace. He lit it, then placed one article of clothing in it at a time, watching it burn and shrivel to ash. Once he finished burning the rest of the evidence, he went back upstairs to his room. He stood in front of his window and looked into Ursula’s window. Delilah got up from her bed and padded over to Sehun. She looked out the window and let out a whine, seeming as if she missed Ursula as much as he did. He crouched down and started petting her head.

“I know, girl. She will be here with us soon, I promise.”

When I came home from work, I didn’t expect Sehun to nearly tackle me with a hug in my driveway. He wrapped his arms around my waist and rested his chin on my shoulder, “I didn’t mean to scare you, and I’m sorry if me kissing you made you uncomfortable. I’m sorry about this too but I just had this overwhelming urge to hug you. Ursula, I really care about you, I hope you know that.”

I turned around and broke the hug. I looked at him and I saw such admiration in his eyes. The glistened as if they had tears in them, but I knew he didn’t. I cupped his cheek with my right hand and stroked it with my thumb. He let out a content sigh and closed his eyes, “I’m really glad to see you today.”

Something about the look on his face made me melt. He had this look that told me that there wasn’t anyone he would rather be with at this moment, he looked absolutely adorable. I noticed that he had Delilah on a leash, he must have been walking her when I arrived. Thinking about my conversation with Capsian, I invited him in for a bit. He unhooked Delilah’s leash from her collar and let her sniff around the living room. We sat down on the couch next to each other, that’s when I addressed our kiss the other night.

“Sehun, you didn’t make me uncomfortable when you kissed me. It was all on me, I’ve never felt this way about someone before and it scared me, so that’s why I left all of the sudden,” I grabbed his hand and laced his fingers with mine, “But now, I’m not going to let my fear control me. I know how I feel, and I’m not going to let my fear make me run away from it.” I took control for once and kissed him, it took him a couple of seconds to respond but when he did he moved closer to my body. I pulled his arms so that he was straddling my sitting body. His arms locked behind my neck. I wrapped my arms around his lower body and pulled him closer, causing him to hum in response.

“I just want you to know, I really really do like you, Ursula.” Holding him in my arms made me realize how much I truly did like him. The way he cuddled up against me and looked at me with his doe-eyed look, the slight pucker to his lips, it all felt right to me. It felt like he belonged with me, like we belonged together at this very moment.

“I really like you too, Sehun,” I pecked the top of his head, “I want to give this a chance.”

I wanted to give us a chance. If I could feel happiness like this often with him, it would be worth it no matter the outcome. I wanted to be happy. I wanted to be happy with him. Everything Suho told me that morning had already been forgotten, none of it mattered to me at that moment. All that mattered was Sehun and me. 

I knew that this was a good idea. She’s going to give us a chance! She loves me, she really does love me!

‘What did I tell you, Sehun? You did what you had to do, and you were rewarded just like I said the first time.’

Sehun let himself become immersed in how she held him. He laid his head against her chest so that he could hear her heartbeat. She ran her hands through his hair, slightly massaging his scalp. He finally could feel how strong his love for her was. He finally felt like the missing piece to his heart had been found.

‘Sehun… I am sorry that I cannot save you now. You did it again and I did nothing to stop you. Please, be happy with her while it lasts, because it will not last forever. I wish I could have saved you. I failed you, and I am eternally sorry for that.’ 

[briteboy]

WOW I’M FINALLY DOING THESE CHARACTER ASKS I NEVER ANSWERED SORRY

this is literally so long RIP me

33. Do they own any objects of significant personal importance?

rooney - “So...this is going to sound bad, but during my childhood, I spent my summers in France, and whenever we’d take trips to Paris I had this habit of stealing little knick-knacks from different shops...often little tourist-y things, kind of just a challenge for myself to see if I’d get away with it. I always did, and I kept it up throughout my teen years. I know, it’s bad. I lost most of the stuff, but I still have a lot of it and they’re all special to me even though I got them by very immoral means...gimme a break, I was a kid! Oh, and I also really treasure my grand-mere’s family recipes. And my tea garden, of course.”

gianni - “Truthfully, I don’t tend to value material things...I try to minimize my attachment to personal belongings so that I’d be able to get up and go anywhere with a moment’s notice if I wanted to. That being said, however, I do have quite a hefty collection of books that I’d probably miss if they were to perish in some disaster. I also have an incredibly unorganized collection of personal writings that I’d hate to part with...even though I can’t even begin to sort through them all in the first place.”

santi - “letters...a bong shaped like an elephant...but most of the important things stay in my head.”

39. Tell us about one of the times they got injured?

rooney - “When I was five I climbed an apple tree and fell about 10 feet and landed right on my back. It knocked the wind out of me and then an apple fell on my head and I had a bump on my forehead for a month, much to Audrey’s amusement. I’ve also suffered a lot of twisted ankles due to clumsiness.”

gianni - “I used to do a lot of sports in my youth, so injuries were like second nature to me...I must’ve broken every extremity at least once. They probably never healed right, either, because I was never one for resting.”

santi - “just one? well...i got into a pretty bad car accident once. no wait, okay okay, how about the time i wiped out so bad at the skate park that i broke my toe and the bone was literally sticking out? that was pretty good. or the time i broke my...nah nevermind, no one wants to hear about that. just take my word of advice: be careful in the cowgirl position, folks”

58. Do they ever have nightmares? If so, what about?

rooney - “I used to have a recurring nightmare where I’d be in a car that was driving except there was no driver. Every time I’d panic and take the wheel, except I didn’t know how to drive...I don’t remember anything past that, just that every time it happened, I woke up with my heart racing. I probably stopped having those dreams when I actually learned to drive, haha!”

gianni - “I periodically have dreams where I’m sucked into the couch into an alternate dimension. Some of them have turned into nightmares, but most are just bizarre.”

santi - “ha.”

(lmfao this b*tch)

65. If they knew they were going to die, what would they do/say?

rooney - “Probably just...‘I love you.’ No matter who I’d be saying it to...I’d just like to think the last words that leave my lips would be full of love. Unless, of course, I was brutally murdered by some serial killer. Then it’d probably be ‘Vete a la verga culero.’”

gianni - “’It’s all happening.’”

santi - “‘hey...wanna see a dead body?’”

32. Pet peeves?

FIRST OF ALL I’M SO GLAD YOU SENT THIS FOR BB FIONA OMG ;__; I CRY

anyway fiona’s pet peeves are line cutters, bad liars, commercials, when someone uses up all the peanut butter and forgets to throw the jar away, when people sugarcoat things or skirt around the truth, and when people call her fifi. do not ever call her fifi.

57. What D&D alignment are they?

OOOOOH FUCK YEAH fiona would be...honestly i think she’d be lawful evil lmao. or chaotic neutral. somewhere in between the two.

60. What is something that they’re sure to laugh at?

fart jokes 100%. 

4. What is their most embarrassing memory?

santi - getting caught streaking in boarding school and sub-sequentially losing a bet to drako. or spilling coffee beans all over himself in an attempt to impress a cute waitress at the bakery he worked at 🙃

gianni - when he first met rooney’s parents he had just begun learning spanish and tried to say he was embarrassed for spilling a drink on himself in all his nerves but accidentally used the word “embarazada”, thinking it meant embarrassed. so instead of saying “estoy muy avergonzado” (i am very embarrassed) he said “estoy muy embarazada” (i am very pregnant.) rooney’s dad had a good laugh out of that one.

rooney - most of rooney’s embarrassing moments are borne from her clumsiness. one time in middle school she tripped over thin air in front of her crush and rolled all the way down a hill and got a black eye from hitting her face on a rock at the bottom. she’s beauty she’s grace

lou - lou is one of those people who refuses to be embarrassed because she hates showing weakness. so if something embarrassing happens to her she’ll shrug and brush it off even if she’s secretly dying inside. often she’s always one step ahead, so if anything, she’ll be the one to catch you in the act and embarrass you.

7. Which of their relationships have impacted them most positively?

rooney - i think it goes without saying, gianni. audrey and her parents, and maisie and mars as well because she's learning the ropes of parenting through the way audrey interacts with them. her bffs 5ever, eli and cosmic <3 also idiot boy santi because in a way she is a lot like him, though not as lost. they help each other out when they’re in similar mindsets.

gianni - rooney of course, his parents, his bb boy santi ;-; all of his old dorm mates at boarding school, and his little one on the way (same goes for rooney)

santi - gianni, rooney, avey, his family even though he would fake his death in order to avoid them, his old dorm mates, eli and yes-- even miyu, lion-hearted girl, la pelirrojita, and.............fiona, above all. ;_____;

lou - fiona, her mother, audrey (and the rest of the wallace fam, but especially audrey because she works at the bakery with her), and.........orejudo.

20. Fears?

LMFOADSKGJKD 420 PLS I H8 U...i already did 4 so u just get 20 SORRY

santi has...a lot of fears. lmao. in fact, they kind of dictate everything he does, in case you couldn’t tell by his debilitating anxiety. rejection, failure, loneliness, disappointing his loved ones, confirmation that he really is as terrible a person as he thinks he is...and hurting the people he loves. that’s just the tip of the iceberg.

8. What’s the weirdest thing they’ve ever eaten?

rooney - one time her grandmother made her eat tripe. never again. she also used to eat bugs for money and candy when she was a kid.

gianni - he’ll try literally anything at least once, so he’s eaten a lot of weird shit. one time drako dared him to eat haggis. no ragrets

9. Describe the way that they sleep.

rooney - constant cuddler. she attaches herself to gianni’s body and makes it impossible for him to turn in the middle of the night. it’s okay, he doesn’t mind.

gianni - he spreads out and takes up the entire bed and somehow messes up the sheets and the covers in the process. rooney doesn’t need that much space when she’s constantly spooning him anyway tho

10. What is their favorite food/kind of food?

rooney loooooves egyptian food and middle eastern food. she always looked forward to taking trips to morocco when she lived in spain because they had the best food. she also has a weakness for lebanese cookies. and gianni is a big fan of indian food...but his mama’s lasagna has always been his favorite ;-;

19. Are they right or left handed?

both rooney and gianni are right handed! but gianni is trying to teach himself to be ambidextrous...emphasis on trying.

21. Favorite kind of weather?

rooney - sunny, blustery days where you can hear the trees whispering.

gianni - he loves the scorching heat of summer like nothing else.

30. Sunrise or sunset?

rooney - sunset

gianni - sunrise (he’s weird)

31. Are they more messy or more organized?

both rooney and gianni are messy people...that’s why their house is so cluttered. RIP

45. Do they believe in ghosts?

rooney and gianni both believe in supernatural things. rooney’s a lot more into it and will believe superstitions whereas gianni is a bit more practical, although he also accepts that there won’t be answers for everything and some phenomenons are just unexplainable. 

51. How do they usually celebrate their birthday?

rooney usually throws a star wars party because her birthday is may 4th. it’s usually her, gianni and santi, but also sometimes eli, miyu and audrey as well. last year they marathonned the OT and played a star wars drinking game (take a shot every time luke whines lmao)

gianni takes his bbys on a camping trip every year for his birthday, as you saw last year hehe

86. Do they like sweet foods?

rooney definitely has a sweet tooth. but she has a unique taste in desserts and likes to try new things, especially from different cultures. and if it’s too sweet, she won’t like it. gianni doesn’t really, but he does make an exception every time he visits the wallace’s bakery.

24. Do they prefer either hot or cold weather more?

santi definitely prefers hot to cold. he tries to preserve summer for as long as he can. it makes him feel like a phoenix starting anew.

36. Least favorite smell?

santi’s least favorite smell is probably the weird smell your pee gets after you eat a lot of asparagus. also artificial candle smells that are so sweet they’re gagworthy.

64. Upon seeing a slice of chocolate cake, what is their first reaction?

he kind of gets grossed out because it reminds him of that scene in matilda where the fat kid eats the entire chocolate cake. but then he’d probably eat it anyway because hey it’s cake!

28. Are they happy where they are currently?

santi - NO lmao. well...it fluctuates. it was good for a while...now he’s stuck again.

lou - she wants to be happy but she won’t let herself be because she feels an impending sense of letdown. she always gets let down.

29. Are they a morning person?

santi - hell fckin no lmao

lou - not if she can help it. both she and fiona hate waking up in the morning to get fi ready for school. but they suffer for the sake of education

30. Sunrise or sunset?

santi- sunset, always sunset (i think i answered that before but whatev)

lou - sunrise. she’s only seen one once in her life, so it’s a pretty special time to her. but referring to the last question, she’s not a morning person, so...

31. Are they more messy or more organized?

santi is messy as fuck. but we knew that. lou tries to stay as organized as possible, but sometimes she just gets overwhelmed and lives in the mess for a little while.

32. Pet peeves?

santi - when you only get like one wonton in your wonton soup, remembering something specific that’s just on the tip of your tongue but never quite getting it, that level of drunk/high where you start to feel yourself coming down and you realize just how lackluster everything is again.

lou - talking in circles, bullshit, repeating herself, family feud episodes that don’t feature steve harvey as the host, dirty dishes and bad reception.

33. Do they own any objects of significant personal importance?

already answered this for santi aheh

but lou treasures the few baby pictures she has of fiona because she wasn’t able to afford a camera or even a nice phone at the time. ;-;

34. Least favorite food?

santi - lobster. he fucking hates lobster. also those cheap chocolates with the cherry inside, blech. also not a fan of mushrooms.

lou - PEEPS. she ate too many one easter as a kid and now she gags at the sight of them. oh and tomatoes.

35. Least favorite color?

santi - grey, but not silver. he likes silver.

lou - chartreuse. and most shades of green. she only likes one very specific shade of blue-toned green.

36. Least favorite smell?

already did this for santi ohoho

as for lou, she can’t stand the smell of bacon. it’s too overpowering. it’s fine at first but then it gets to be too much, and she doesn’t even care for bacon anyway. also that garbage smell the periodically wafts through the air in the city, especially when you’re driving through new jersey lmao

37. When was the last time they cried?

santi? who tf knows. he’s always crying. he’s probably crying as we speak. lou, though...she hates crying. it makes her feel vulnerable. if she cries in front of you, it’s the real deal. especially if u make her cry...then wow. ur a monster

38. Were they with anybody the last time they cried?

U ALREADY KNOW THIS ABOUT SANTI. but lou...probably not. she’s kind of a loner, especially when showing that side of herself :{

[emmegoeswriting]

Danielle Jackobson

Their phone:

★ what kind of phone do they have? Danielle mainly uses an iPhone -- and has gravitated almost completely away from using a land line except for when she's at work.

☆ what is their phone’s background? She just has a background from one of her trips overseas when she'd wandered around Scotland right after college.

✪ their standard ringtone? Standard telephone ring -- she takes too many work calls on her phone for it to be anything else.

❉ do they have any pictures on their phone? All different kinds and lots -- many from different outings with friends and different events that she's gone to.

✯ what do their texts look like? do they use emojis often? what kind? she's a stickler for using proper grammar -- until she's drunk and uses emojis sparingly, though she does enjoy sending kisses over text on a regular basis.

✦ the first five names on their contacts list? Andrew Wells Andrea James Becca Jackobson Cole Voss DO NOT ANSWER (Hunter Davids)

⍟ any games on their phone? what kind? how often do they play? She has solitare and Mario on her phone -- she's very sporadic in playing them though, tends to only play them when she's stuck in an airport or it's just a very slow day at work.

✹ five - ten songs on their iPod/phone? Starving (feat. Zedd) by Hailee Steinfield & Grey Believer by Imagine Dragons Good Die Young by Molly Kate Kestner One More Night by Maroon 5 Crave by Tove Lo Light up the Dark by Gabrielle Aplin

Their home:

♈ a description of their home - apartment building or detached house? how many rooms are there? colours of their walls? any decorations? Currently living in a two bedroom apartment -- walls are white, but she's done a fair job of covering with either pictures, paintings or the occasional fabric. She likes candles and keeps them regularly lit -- at least when it isn't a sweltering summer.

♉ what are their neighbours like? their relationship to them? Her neighbors get frustrated with her, given that she seems to come and go at all nights since she's been going to more and more events the more she's making a name for herself with the press. However, she has a decent relationship with them and tries to stay as quiet as she can when she's getting in late.

♊ what kind of mail do they get (except for bills)? have they subscribed to any magazines/newspapers? She's subscribed to the New Yorker since college and has a couple newspapers (most prominently the LA Times). As for other mail, it isn't much besides her bills which she's tried to get as paperless as she can with her busy schedule.

♋ do they read any newspapers/magazines? what kind? what topics are they interested in? do they flip forward to the cartoon page first? She doesn't read the cartoons except on bad days, but she still gets this thrill when she reads about foreign affairs, though she knows that realistically she may never break into that particular market in journalism. Right now, she'd be more content if she was doing in depth articles on people rather than drudging up gossip and half-truths.

♌ how do they drink their coffee/tea? Coffee. And she's insulted if anyone assumes that she would drink something different too (with the occasional hot chocolate thrown in). She prefers mochas though.

♍ any pictures on their walls? what kind/of who? Mostly family with a large amount through college though as well -- varying sizes but she's been gravitating more towards paintings the past year or two and is slowly moving the pictures into the spare room that works as her office currently.

♎ is their closet tidy or are the clothes just being thrown inside or lying on the floor? Her closet is tidy, though her shoes are in disorder almost constantly.

♒ their cleaning routine - laundry/dishes/cleaning the rooms She does laundry every Sunday morning and cleans the bathroom every Tuesday night -- the dishes get done as their needed, luckily she has a dishwasher that helps with that.

Digging deeper:

🌷 what do they have in their wallet? Her life? Just kidding -- sort of. She keeps business cards, debit cards and her credit cards, along with the few store membership cards that she has and uses regularly. She'll keep business cards of important contacts in her wallet as well. And her ever important press pass.

ꕥ what’s usually in their trouser/jacket pockets or purse? She keeps a notebook and pen in her bag at all times, period -- no exception. Extra toothbrush and a spare lipstick as well.

☘ how many keys do they have? for what? do they have any key pendants? Four keys: office building, vehicle, apartment building and her apartment door.

🍀 what kind of jewellery are they wearing? what’s their favourite peace? Occasionally will wear earrings, but she is always wearing her grandmother's wedding ring around her neck.

🌻 what do their bedsheets look like? colour? patterns? She prefers understated, a soft blue that feels incredibly soft every time that she crawls underneath the sheets.

🌹 what’s the colour of your muse’s underwear right now? black, to match her bra.

Getting closer:

× what does your muse smell like? what perfume/cologne are they using? Philosophy's Falling in Love -- vanilla, jasmine, lily of the Valley, musk and blueberry

� do they shower often? every day or just every couple of days? Danielle is a creature of habit -- she showers daily, always in the morning to wake herself up.

♻ how about brushing teeth? three times a day, or just in the morning? And brushes her teeth each morning and normally in the evening (except when she gets distracted).

⌘ do they rather shower or take a bath? Showers, hands down -- no questions asked about something like that. She'll take baths after a particularly stressful day though or when she's just feeling down.

♀ how long does your muse usually need for a shower/bath? She's all about streamlining things -- 15 minutes, maximum for a shower. Her baths are always long because she's trying to distress though.

⚣ how long does your muse need to shave? (this is also for the ladies!) My little creature of habit -- Danielle shaves twice a week because she wears dresses and skirts so often. Sometimes three times when she has an event to go to in he evening.

♂ does your muse put on make-up? how long do they need for it every day?  She uses minimal make up -- foundation, eye liner, and mascara and a great lip color. Something easy to manage when she's not in her house. It ranges it day from 9 hours to 15 hours though.

⚢ what kind of make-up does your muse use? favourite colours? how much do they use? Mostly Urban Decay, though she also uses Bare Minerals.

Exploring their body:

♤ does your muse have any scars? where? what do they look like? how did they get them? She has a small scar on her shoulder from when she broke her collarbone and ended up with the bone breaking the skin slightly during her junior year of high school.

♧ any freckles/moles/birth marks? where? She has some freckles across the back of her shoulder (left side).

♡ are their fingernails dirty or clean? cut/long? She keeps her nails clean, a little bit longer but regularly painted.

♢ how much do they weigh? You never ask a lady how much they weigh! She hoovers around 140.

♠ any ‘weird’ characteristics on their body? one leg/arm longer than the other? Not necessarily.

♣ are their veins particularly visible when they’re angry/upset/sad? no.

♥ do they have more muscles or more fat on their body? She's more lean muscle -- regularly goes on jobs and keeps a fairly healthy diet.

♦ any tattoos? where? what’s the story behind them? As of currently, Danielle does not have any tattoos on herself.

Open your closet:

⦂ what clothes do they sleep in? She has a pair of shorts and a tank top that she always sleeps in.

♚ do they have a favourite piece of clothing? There's this little black dress that she keeps for special occasions or weddings that she fell in love with a year previously. Otherwise her favorite piece of jewelry is always going to be her grandmother's wedding ring. She wears it on a necklace around her neck.

❅ what do they usually wear when they’re not working? She prefers light dresses over staying formal. If she's not wearing one of those then she's wearing jeans and a button down shirt.

☏ what do they wear when they’re at work? Always dressed professionally, blouses and pencil skirts and high heels. Occasionally she'll throw in flats if she knows that she is going to have to walk around the city that day.

₤ how many shoes do they have? what kind? Shoes? Well, Danielle has a bit of a guilty pleasure when it comes to shoes -- all different types and general ones with heels to give her a little bit more of a height bump. That, and she likes how her butt looks in them.

Σ how many purses do they have? She only has a couple -- just one for each occasion. She prefers to carry a larger one though that she bought a few years ago.

⌚ how long do they need to decide what to wear in the morning? No time -- she picks out her outfits the night before so she can catch a little extra sleep.

⌛ do they go shopping for clothes often? how long do they usually need? More often than not, Danielle buys her clothes online these days, though when the bug strikes her, she'll take an hour two to browse.

$ how much money do they spend on clothes every month? She doesn't normally do a monthly budget on clothing -- simply because she doesn't shop every month. She'll snag things as they wear out now days as she has a decent wardrobe stocked up now.

@graceof1x1

[surveys-at-your-service]

Survey #56

“no doubt about it, i got a bad, bad girlfriend.”

who was the last male you hung out with?   we didn't really "hang out," but i was around bradley, colleen's husband.  the last male i really did "hang out" with was my friend girt months ago. who is your favorite person to text?   colleen when’s the last time you talked to the person you like?   the last time i talked and he responded, via battle.net because we were both online.  i asked him how school was going and such, despite in his responses it being obvious he didn't want to talk.  last time i "talked" to him without his input in the conversation was when i wrote him a ten-page letter i've yet to mail him. who did you last take a picture with?   colleen, chelsea, and mom. do you and your best friend ever fight?   yes.  we're in a fight now, actually.  we're both very opinionated people and also very different, so. is there someone who can make you laugh no matter what?   fucking jason.  i would be crying and he could still make me laugh. has anyone ever mistaken you for being gay/lesbian/bi?   yes.  more than once.  lmao at the store the other day, colleen ran into her preacher, and i was with her.  it was kinda obvious he thought we were a couple. explain why you last threw up?   had a baaaad stomach bug. ever kissed your best friend's significant other?   definitely not! do you like the person you are becoming?   no.  more than anything, my happiness should NOT be so dependent on a man who doesn't even care about me. do you have anything embarrassing/sexual in your room?   i do not. know anyone who has a pet gecko?   my former best friend summer and my acquaintance caleb. do you like eating soup in the winter?   i don't like soup period. do you like getting jewelry or do you not wear any?   sure! when you were in high school did you ever have bomb threats?   once because a kid my sister knew was stupid as fuck. did/do you get school cancellations because of snow?   dude, we got cancellations if there was a chance of an inch of snow. who knows ALL of your secrets?   jason is the only one, actually.  i've literally told him everything. what does your typical outfit look like?   yoga/sweatpants, graphic tee. did you have a job before you were in college?   no, actually. do you think hunting is wrong? if so, why?   for purely sport, kinda.  just killing for fun doesn't seem right in the slightest?  if you're in a survival situation or if you actually do eat what you kill, sure, hunt. have you ever thought about what it would be like to have a baby right now?   not in-depth, no.  it'd be... very hard.  well first off, it'd be impossible for me to get pregnant, but let's just say i somehow did.  i'm pretty sure i wouldn't be a "bad" mom, but an insufficient one.  i'm pretty severely mentally ill and very unstable right now, and a child's malleable mind doesn't need to be exposed to that, especially when it's his/her mother.  i also do not want to bring a child into this world when (s)he wouldn't have a father figure.  fathers are just as important as mothers, imo, and a baby should be raised with both parents.  the last thing a child needs is just a sick mother.  despite the obvious issues though, holy hell would i do everything for that baby. do you have a sensitive gag reflex?   VERY.  i can't even put those things in my mouth at the dentist for when you get x-rays without a massive struggle.  i usually have the get the kid ones. what was the last situation to upset you?   colleen said something very ignorant. have you ever had an online argument?   waaaaay more than one.  i've been around the internet since what, 2007?  i've had plenty. do any of your friends know you fill out surveys?   online friends, sure, real life friends, not on tumblr, no.  i occasionally/very rarely post a survey in facebook notes, so my friends obviously know, but they haven't seen even a microscopic quarter of the surveys i've done.  i'm not entirely... against the idea, but like, i'd only ever maybe admit to colleen i have a survey blog. how do you typically style your hair? does it take long?   no, because it's too thick for me personally to style.  i would kill to have the emo/scene/whatever you call it hair, but my hair just doesn't work with me. when were you last offered something illegal?   never, i think. what are you most confident about? most insecure about?   uhhh.  i mean, i guess my knowledge about meerkats is what i'm most confident about?  most insecure about, my stomach. when are you most likely to say something you don’t mean?   if you bring up jason. where’s the best place to get your favorite dish?   my favorite dish ever is spicy shrimp fritas, which i get from olive garden. can you play guitar hero?   yeah.  i used to play almost everything on expert and sometimes get 100%, but now i play mostly on hard and a select few on expert. if you could move somewhere else, would you?   yeah, closer to the mountains on the western side of the state. how many months until your birthday?   less than one! do you want your tongue pierced?   yes, i want the snake eyes tongue piercing. who was the last person to disappoint you?   colleen are you emotionally strong?   i honestly do not know?  like i tell myself i wouldn't be alive otherwise, but simultaneously, i feel that if i was strong, so many things wouldn't bother me. you think ‘I love you’ are strong words?   they were enough to ruin my life, so. on grand theft auto, do you just kill people or actually do the missions?   i've never played it before, but i think i'd do the missions, since i play games to beat them. have you ever been to australia?   no, but i'd kinda like to to meet my friend shay.  i'm just scared of all the venomous shit they have, especially the spiders. do you watch adult swim?   no.  half the shit on there was immaculately immature the last time i saw it, anyway. do you have a favorite pair of underwear?   i only have one pair because i never wear underwear unless there's an occasion i need to, and they're pink and black and lacy. what is your dad’s occupation?   he's been a mailman for years and actually likes it. have you ever seen a baby snake?   no, actually.  i mean on television and stuff, sure, but not in real life. do you own any band tees?   plenty.  big part of my wardrobe. do you think they really landed on the moon, or it was fake?   i've seen like all the evidence that it may have been faked, and i believe it's a possibility it was, but in general, i believe that we truly did land on the moon, despite some of the oddities. do you feel embarrassed to listen to music you love out loud around other people?   no no no no no!!  that's like, probably the only think about me i'm proud of revealing!! does your shower have a glass screen or a curtain?   curtain when is the last time you sat around a campfire?   years ago in new york. do you have a back-up career choice? what is it?   not really, honestly...  i mean my dream job is to be a meerkat biologist, but i'm not moving to africa, so that just won't happen.  the only thing i want to do is be a photographer. are men more attractive with longer or shorter hair?   i mean, it really depends on the man, but in general, i like longer hair. is there a name that you hear and cringe?   rachel. what was the last computer game you played?   world of warcraft, before my computer decided "hey let's keep restarting."  i was about to get the long-forgotten hippogryph too, and i'm still salty about it. what would you say is your guiltiest pleasure?   world of warcraft, again, and idk why.  like there's nothing to be ashamed of, yet i am.  like even when i get my computer fixed, i'm contemplating just not getting back into it to avoid the feeling of embarrassment. do you let your pets on your furniture?   yes, because they live here??? can you usually tell when someone has feelings for you?   with my history of thinking aaron liked me and believing jason would ask me out, i guess. what is your favorite thing to cook for someone else?   the only thing i can really cook are some yummy scrambled eggs, with hot sauce. have you ever bought underwear simply because it made your underwear drawer look nice?   no? how do you feel about kettle cooked chips?  GROSS would you ever consider visiting texas?   if my former best friend mini would talk to me again, sure.  i'd love to visit her. who was the last person to turn you on?   jason was good at that. what are your views on the death penalty?   it is only for the coldest, hardest criminals where there is no doubt they committed the crime.  some people just don't change and do deserve to die, imo. is the music you listen to 'weird’?   i'm sure some people consider it such. have you ever played an instrument?    i played flute all through middle and high schools are fingerless gloves awesome?   sure, i have some from high school. do you fit any stereotypes?   possibly.  after all, the definition of certain stereotypes vary very slightly from person-to-person.  i guess i fit both geek and emo in some ways. does your best friend have a driver’s license?   yeah. what size drink do you usually get at fast food restaurants?   medium. do you have underwear from victoria’s secret?   i do not. do you want a relationship?   i mean, yeah, i guess.  i'm dangerously lonely and after dating jason, i know how good relationships feel.  but i don't want to rush anything. are you uncomfortable staring into someone’s eyes who you like?   no.  i could stare into jason's forever. who was the first person you talked to today?   via the internet, ummm i think it was shaylee.  in real life, nicole, my little sister. honestly! do you think you’re better than anyone else?   not at all.  god told us we're equal, that's why. do you have any fish as pets?   no.  i'd really like a big saltwater tank, though. when was the last time you slept in your parents' bedroom?   well, my parents have been divorced for years now, and mom doesn't currently have a room, she sleeps on the couch and i sleep in her old room, so i really don't know. do you like channing tatum?   i think he's physically attractive, but that's it. do you have a common first name?   very. who/what is one person/thing that had the biggest impact on your life?   jason. what is the most pointless movie that you have ever seen? did you like it?   "the purge," because the whole basis of the story was just... stupid?  like, WHY to begin with would it ever be legally allowed to purge?  the whole idea was just stupid.  the movie itself was okay in general though. who is the most important person in your life right now?   i'm trying to make it me. have you ever had a crush on someone of the same gender as you?   nope. who did you last talk to about the person you love?   mom, i think. who was the last person you sat next to on a bus?   i haven't been on a bus since high school.  but i always sat with jason. do you carry photos in your wallet?   i'm pretty sure i have a picture on nicole somewhere in there. the last time you had sex, was it in their bed or yours?   i've never had sex, but the last time i did something sexual, it was probably his bed. is there someone that you believe you will always be attached to?   i don't "think" it, i know it. has anyone ever drunk called/texted you?   nope. name two of your favorite colors.   maroon, pink. do you want to get married?   i do. are you afraid of roller coasters?   yes, i am. what colors would you like to have at your wedding?   i've actually considered many combinations.  think i'll wait for my spouse's opinion 'til i really decide. tell me the truth, what made you start liking the person you like right now?   he was so, so unique.  strange.  different.  maddeningly bizarre.  and, he cared.  he approached me while i was pushing everyone away, and i just couldn't shove him, too.  he wanted to know aaaall about me, and he seemed to like everything he heard...  he backed me into a corner where i couldn't escape him, yet i wasn't afraid.  now i'm damned for it. what was the last reason you cried?   i missed jason. last person to tell you i love you?   my mama what do you think your ex would say about you?   "she's my psycho ex." think of your last kiss….was it cute?   i don't remember my last kiss, because i didn't think it'd be the last.  i was so blissfully ignorant.  i was suspicious that something was wrong with jason, but... i never thought he'd leave.  i mean don't get me wrong, every kiss we had was precious, but it was at the same time just another kiss. have you ever played golf?   i've played putt-putt, but not golf. what was the last tv show you watched an episode of?   probably something at colleen's, idk. do you like beer? if so, what's your favorite brand?   never tried it, but i know it stinks to high heaven. how often do you update your facebook status?   i never update my status unless something quite big happens.  i only ever share funny pictures/posts or stuff i heavily relate to/agree with. do you feel bad when you throw food out?   it's not something i think about all the time, but i do, because i know some people have much less than i. when was the last time you waxed anything on your body, if ever?   months ago when i had my eyebrows done.  i want to go more regularly, it's just a money thing. what is your favorite video game?   "silent hill 2" would you ever consider getting plastic surgery? what would you have done?   i don't think so. do you like shrimp?   eh, usually. have you ever been in a car accident?   i have. who is your favorite superhero?   batman. what is your favorite fruit flavored soda [grape, strawberry, orange, etc]?   strawberry have you ever slept in the same bed with the last person you kissed?   pleeeenty of times. would you ever be a stripper?   hell no. your ex is walking next to you, with their new partner, what do you do?   fucking kill her. do you have a hard time letting go?   i probably have a harder time letting go than anybody on the planet. is the last person you kissed a virgin?   nope.  he's had sex with rachel, and i'm sure he's fucked ashley by now.  can't wait 'til he breaks her heart, too. have you ever cried uncontrollably on a boy’s shoulder before?   more than once. how many times have you changed a diaper in your life?   literally only once what do you think makes you a good girlfriend or boyfriend?   i'm passionate and loyal as fuck. did you ever go to a mental hospital?   four or five times, the numbers are honestly starting to blur. does your mom/dad smoke?   dad does. how old are you?   i'll be 21 in a few weeks. did an old person ever hit on you?   yes, and it was fucking terrifying. do you believe that weed should be legalized?   no, honestly. do you like apple jacks?   yes! Are you afraid of the dark?   nah. would you say your taste in music is in a very broad spectrum?   no, honestly.  i'm very limited in the type of music i enjoy. are you a moaner, a screamer, or totally silent?   ... i'm going to pretend the fact this is on a survey doesn't bother me and just answer it.  i tend to moan and gasp a lot.  i've wanted to scream before, but haven't. what’s your middle name?   marie have you ever written or received a suicide note?   no, but more than once have i almost written one. ever kissed anyone with a nipple piercing?   no. have you ever kissed someone who had a boyfriend/​​​girlfriend?​​​   no, and i wouldn't unless it was jason and he was the one trying to kiss me. ever made out in a pool?   no, but we might as well have that one time. do you have a pool?   no, we had to sell ours for the money. are you an emotional person?   too emotional anybody ever tell you that “you could do so much better” about a person?   literally everyone tells me that?? how many full biological siblings do you have?   full-blooded?  just two. what is something you currently need to buy?
   new tank tops for bed, badly. the last person you kissed asks you to marry him/her. how do you react?   HA.  no.  apologize to me, number one, and fucking prove to me you won't leave again. do you wear hair extensions?
   no, because i don't need them. how old were you when you started puberty?   i have no memory of when i started. if you could have any magical power, what would you have?   shape-shifting, i think. do you believe in love at first site?   absolutely not. let’s say your dad came in your room one day and told you that you had to get married in the next week but you can pick the person but you have to stay with them for the rest of your life no getting out of it, who would you pick?   "no getting out of it" my ass, i'd get out of it.  he can disown my ass, whatever, i don't care.  i take marriage way more seriously than that. if you could be the lead role in any movie, what would it be?   honestly, i'd want to play a person driven crazy by events in her life.  because same fam. when eating something are you more concerned with taste or nutrition?   taste, honestly. what gender do you identify with?   female, because i have a vagina.  yes, i'm conservative about this matter.  fight me m8. are you more of a science or math person?   science, easily. what are your opinions on abortion?   i'm viciously pro-life. if you identify as a girl, would you ever consider getting a pixie cut?   no.  please do not misunderstand this: i have no problem with bigger people, but generally, i find pixie cuts to look bad on bigger women like me. are you a metalhead?   hell to the fuck yeah. do you even listen to metal?   it's like... all i listen to. do you know anybody who is a wiccan or pagan?   i'm pretty sure i know two or three wiccans do you watch supernatural?   i don't anymore, 'cuz it's a ptsd trigger.  it was the first show jason and i binge-watched together.  stopped at the sixth season, i think.  it's a really good show and i love it, i just tried to watch it one day, and i can't without him. what’s your favorite character in your favorite tv show?   i'd say my overall favorite show is "fullmetal alchemist," so hmmm... shit man, i'm having a difficult time remembering all the characters.  i feel like i really liked one of the seven deadly sins, i think it was greed?  no... maybe envy?  envy!  the one i misgendered, lmao.  i really like them. are you diabetic?   i am not, but it runs in the family, so... where is the majority of your family from?   mom's side, new york, dad's side, michigan. last person you slept in the same bed with?   chelsea hate someone, who?   i try so hard not to, but i'm pretty sure the feelings i have towards jason's current girlfriend is hatred. when was your first kiss?   hmmmm.  maybe like, may-ish four years ago? do you carry a purse?   yeah. would you ever name a kid damien?   it's a decent name, but no. bats are not spooky or are they?   no no no, they're so precious!!  especially flying foxes!! do you like listening to new music, or just sticking to your favorites?   both.  depends on the mood. are you one of those people who can eat anything and not gain a pound?   fuck no.  i'm the person who looks at cake and gains 10 pounds. do you like hot dogs?   i do, i just don't think of how they're made. do you watch american horror story?   again, i used to, but don't anymore due to it being a ptsd trigger.  we watched the first season and most of the second together. do you have sensitive teeth?   no would you date someone you had a 16 year age gap with?   NO what is your sexuality?   heterosexual, some asexual traits do you think suits are sexy?   kill me yes fucking christ do you think earrings are attractive or unattractive on guys?   ehhhh, i'm kinda neutral with guys and earrings. would you ever have a threesome with your friend and their bf/gf?   fuck no.  so sorry to offend, but you don't fucking love your significant other if you're comfortable fucking someone else with them.  i'd lecture the heavens out of my friend if they suggested that. have you ever kissed just a friend?   on the cheek, yes. what was the last graduation you attended?   my little sister's have you ever pole danced before?   nope. have you ever broken into someone’s house?   wtf, no. would you ever kiss your best friend’s boyfriend/girlfriend?   no, because i have respect for their relationship and i don't "like" her husband like that. have you ever seen a live bat?   hmmm, i may have at the zoo, but otherwise, i'm not sure!