#he’d whisper something like ‘forgive me seeker.’ before going in for the kiss

[arsene-fixates]

imagining him passing secret details to me via kiss

[littlemissnoname13]

You & Your Green Apples - (D.M) (nsfw, 18+)

Summary: Draco keeps showing up at the reader’s door late at night after working on the cabinet. They work out a system for their clandestine meetings.

Pairing: Draco Malfoy x Reader, HBP era (HBP Draco lives in my mind rent free.)

Word count: 2000

Warnings: Mature language and themes, 18+, fluff at the beginning, some smut with a hint of angst at the end. Just a pinch.

A/n: Sorry I keep writing about Draco and his vanishing cabinet storyline. That’s just because I wrote a whole 20+ chapter fic in the last 3 months only to later break it down into one shots. :(

~~~~~~~~~~

Another sleepless night. There was nothing new about it. 

Between tossing, turning, changing sleeping positions and occasionally thinking about Draco Malfoy, you had not managed to sleep a wink.

Everything felt strangely still and awfully silent during the night. 

Except for the light snore coming from your roommate’s side of the room signaling that she had probably fallen asleep in a rather uncomfortable position and the beating of your own heart.

So when you suddenly noticed two other sounds— mainly knocking and scratching coming from the other side of your door, you instantly reached for your glasses and your wand. 

You tiptoed all the way to the door with your wand at the ready as you twisted the doorknob as quietly as possible. 

“You simply can not keep coming to my dorm like this! Especially in the middle of the night!” You hissed, shutting your door behind you when you realized it was Draco at you door the the second time that week—looking like he had been through hell and back and his hair looking like it has seen better days. 

“I couldn’t sleep y/l/n—and judging by the looks of it, you haven't slept a wink either.” He shrugged before backing you firmly up against the door. 

“I—”

“Nice glasses by the way.” He commented, reaching for your tortoise shell glasses and pulling it away from your face. “Although you look rather ravishing in it, I don’t like the way it hides your eyes.” 

After getting rid of your glasses, he gazed deeply into your eyes before moving his gaze lower and lower—stopping at your slightly parted mouth. 

You tried to take a step back but you knew you had nowhere else to go as his face drew in closer and closer till your lips were mere centimeters apart.

“We can't keep doing this Draco.” You whispered as he attached his mouth to yours. His tongue traced lightly over your lower lips and your lips parted even more allowing him to explore your mouth with his tongue.

“Tell me to go away then.” He whispered between the kisses you shared. “Tell me you don't want this as much as I do.”

“I do—I just..we just....” You began and he backed away looking at you carefully as you tried to catch your breath. “We just need to work out a system.”

“What do you even mean?” 

“We need a system for our um—whatever this is and how to go about it without people finding out.” You whispered gently, running your hands up and down his sturdy seeker frame. 

“Sneaking around.” Draco bared his pearly whites in a mischievous grin. “Sounds fun.”

“I’m being serious Malfoy.” 

“Fine.” He muttered, folding his arms as he backed away further. “But we definitely can’t do letters or notes—I don't want your roommate getting her gremlin hands on them.”

Your roommate finding out was the least of his concerns. The only reason he wanted to keep this a secret was because he couldn’t risk putting you in any sort of danger—he’d never forgive himself if he did.

“Hey!” You lightly punched him in the stomach before you towards the common room. “Be nice—she’s my friend.” 

He clicked his tongue and rolled his eyes at you, almost fuming as his footsteps followed yours. “Can’t we do the talking part later?” 

“Absolutely not.” 

“Fine. What do we do then?” 

“It needs to be something ordinary—something normal.” you mumbled fidgeting with the sleeves of your top. 

He heaved a huge sigh before reclining against the sofa and closing his eyes. You couldn't ignore the bluish purple veins that were visible on his eyelids. 

“Draco?” 

He hummed before opening only one of his eyes to look at you. 

“Have you been sleeping at all?— you also barely touch your food. Is everything okay?” 

“Everything is fine y/n. I have been eating fine.” He muttered curtly before reaching into his coat pocket to pull out a green apple. “Just fucking hurry up with your system or whatever.” 

He took a small bite from his apple and you looked at him with a playful smile forming on your face. “You and your green apples.”

“What?” He raised his eyebrows at you as he took another bite.

“Nothing.” You mumbled, shaking your head. “You just tend to be the first person that pops into my mind when I see a green apple.” 

“That’s it y/l/n. There you have it.” He chuckled slightly before getting rid of the apple core. 

“Excuse me?”

“A system.” He said before grabbing you by the hand and pulling you onto his lap. “If you ever see me holding a green apple, let that act as a warning that I’ll probably show up at your door.”

You contemplated his idea in your mind for a few seconds as he let his head fall on the base of your neck.

“There are so many logistical issues to that.” You finally pointed out giggling as he started to nibble on your exposed collar bone.

“Fine, we can just use it till we think of something better.” He murmured against your skin. “Something more logistically sound and...permanent.”

You wanted to protest but the ministrations of his lips on your skin and the way his hands found their way under your shirt and roamed your body convinced you otherwise. 

“Okay.” You whispered into his ears, nibbling softly on his earlobe because you knew the exact effect it would have on him. 

As a response, Draco bared his teeth gently sucking and biting on your exposed skin.

“Now that you have your system worked out, I have other more important plans for us.” He said in a raspy whisper with his mercurial eyes darkening.

He did have other important plans for you both. 

Most of which left a haphazard trail of clothes on the floor.

 Most of which left you with purple marks all over your neck. 

Most of which left you wanting even more.

Draco missed most of his classes but when he did manage to show up to one or two, he would always have a green apple with him. Some days he’d take a bite from it and some days he’d simply toss the fruit into the air and catch it again. 

And just as predicted, he’d be at your door at night. 

Some days he’d greet you with a smile before lifting you up in his arms and taking you to his room.On other days, he’d show up and kiss you feverishly in a no words needed type of way. 

Draco would even spend the night when your roommates were away. 

“Please Draco..more—oh fuck.” You arched your back and curled your fists on your sheets. Your hips kept bucking as two of his fingers kept pumping in and out trying to make you cum on them.

“Shhhhh.” He said before leaning down the second you felt the tip of his tongue circling your clit. He stared up at you in between licks—trying to steal a glance at your face.

Incoherent sentences fell out of your ruined lips and your messy and tangled hair fell on your face. He thought you were stunning.

Especially when you lifted your head and looked down at him with your needy eyes.

There was just something about you. Something that made him feel a little less lost.

After he felt your legs spasm as you came on his tongue, he slowly came up. Your legs parted even more making enough room for him as he slowly pressed his entire length inside of you.

You gasped at the feeling of being stretched out and Draco grabbed one of your legs and placed it on his shoulder—pressing his cock even deeper.

Your chest kept rising and falling rapidly as you adjusted yourself to his size as he slowly rocked his hips.

“You feel so amazing..” He groaned as he pushed harder and harder with each thrust, causing you to grip his biceps for support.

And even though you used the muffliato charm to silence the room, he had to cover your mouth with his ring clad hands and while he thrusted in and out of you—you just couldn’t stop screaming his name.

“Please—Draco..keep doing that..”

His thumb found your clit and started to rub steady circles while he angled himself to hit that one spot that had your head spinning.

He’d been fantasising about this very moment the minute he laid eyes on you when you walked into class.

His perfectly timed thrusts and his wonderfully skilled fingers made you only want to rock your hips into his as you felt your orgasm approach.

“Draco I’m…”

Your thighs trembled and your hips bucked as you came hard and Draco enjoyed the way you looked for a few seconds before trying to pull out of you.

But you shook your head and wrapped both your legs around his torso, encouraging him to keep going.

“Y/n..you don’t have to..”

“Please…I want you to cum for me. Don’t stop till you cum for me..”

The way you begged made any type of self control he may have had inside of him snap and he grabbed both your legs and put them onto his shoulders—pushing himself back inside of you.

He kept pushing harshly while you kept moaning his name, feeling your own orgasm build up inside you again.

“Yes...Draco. Oh gods! Yes! Just like that.”

“Fuck..y/n..” He groaned as he came.

~~~~~~

On one of the following days, you decided to take a green apple to class. Only to see if he would notice and oh, he did.

On your way out of the classroom, Draco grabbed you by the wrist and led you towards an empty classroom.

He just loved the way your skirt hiked up your body when he bent you over a desk.

As the weeks went by, both of you kept doing unspeakable things with one another. And of course, both of you did not speak much about it afterwards.

You’d just pick our clothes up and carry on with your day.

But no matter what you both did or where you did it to be exact, you couldn’t help but think about the way he used the word Permanent.

You wondered if there was a possibility of this being more than just a hookup or if that was too much to hope for.

“What are you thinking about, hm?”

His sleepy morning voice startled you. His shirt was unbuttoned all the way, revealing his toned abdomen.

You ran your fingertips along the scars on his chest before placing small kisses along it. He never told you how he got those scars. No matter how many times you asked.

He also never took his shirt off all the way and even though you craved to feel every inch of his body, you respected his decision.

“I don’t know. Just thinking about us—about what is happening.” You finally said.

“What do you mean?”

“What are we doing Draco? What is this?”

That was his cue to storm off. He’d always storm off on this topic in the past. But for some odd reason, his expression softened as he moved closer to you under the sheets.

“I wish I could give you the answer that you want.” He murmured, pushing loose strands of your unruly bed hair away from your face. “But the time we have is so fragile.”

“What do you mean?”

“Nevermind.” He let out a strained laugh as he lay on his back stared at the ceiling. “Just know that I’ll always keep these little moments close to me. I will think about these days—think about you in my darkest hours y/n.”

“But—”

“Don’t overthink it Y/n, you’ll ruin it if you do.” He whispered, tracing shapes on your back. “Just go back to sleep.”

“Okay.” You murmured burying yourself into his arms—feeling an intense need to get more of him. Even though he was sleeping next to you, your gut kept telling you to hold him tighter. Hold him like you’d never get to hold him again.

You woke up all alone later that night.

His side was made perfectly. There were no creases or warmth on the sheets to remind you that he was, in fact, sleeping next to you.

It felt like you had made up everything inside of your head until you saw a green apple on your night stand.

You slowly picked up his green apple and discovered a note underneath.

“I’ll always be thinking of you y/n. No matter what happens next.”

But before you could place the apple back on your desk and make your way towards his dorm room, your door swung open.

Your roommate ran into your room with terror flaring in her eyes.

“Death eaters.” She stuttered. “They’re in the castle.”

~~~~~~~~~~~~

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Lots of love as always,

V

[spxllcxstxr]

Being Regulus Black’s Younger Sister (Version 1 - Slytherin) • Headcanon

Warnings: body insecurity and eating mention, forced eating restrictions, canon child abuse and neglect by Walburga Black, Barty Crouch Jr makes an appearance

Request: Hey maybe you could do a regulus x younger sister headcanons or fix really whatever you want to do 💖 — @nicole198205

A.N: I honestly loved writing Black sister reader...this was so fun and if you liked it too and want like a real blurb or something based on any of these bullet points, you should request it. Hope you all enjoy and I love you all ❤️

Being the only girl in 12 Grimmauld Place means that you got treated differently than your brothers

Not nicer, by any means

Different in a way that meant your mother was constantly fussing over your appearance and making sure you acted “ladylike”

When you were little it was nice

You got to spend alone time with your mother in your room, she would brush your hair and pick out frilly and elegant dresses

Sure, sometimes she would purposefully tug a little too hard on your hair causing you to yelp, but it wasn’t a big deal

Eventually, though, your mother got rougher, these mother-daughter times turning into torturous hours where she’d make snippy comments about your weight and how you should appear to certain men

You weren’t even ten years old and she was already arranging your marriage to a man that, according to the Black Family Tapestry in the Drawing Room, was a distant relative

Sure she bought you dresses, and heels, and jewels, but they weren’t for you to enjoy and it wasn’t out of love or kindness

She needed you perfect for marriage

You always ran to Regulus’ room for comfort and he was always happy to listen to you vent

“If Bella, and Cissy, and Andy can deal with it, (Y/n), so can you. You’re just as strong as they are.”

You were always closer to Regulus, maybe because he was closer to you in age or because he wasn’t as rough or brash as Sirius

While Sirius taught you curse words, Regulus taught you prose and poetry

When Sirius went off to Hogwarts, the two of you got even closer

Your mother got worse when she found out that her eldest son was sorted into Gryffindor

She had a fit that day, one that consisted of her throwing pots and pans at the walls, shattering ancient artifacts, and tearing at her own hair

You and Regulus, frightened little children, hid in his closet waiting for your father to come home to calm her down

The two of you clutched each other tight, not daring to even make a noise, scared that you might be the next thing she breaks

You and Regulus weren’t allowed to say your brother’s name and all letters were snatched away and thrown into the fireplace

He was even banned from coming home for Christmas break

The two of you were dragged to even more family gatherings and balls

You particularly were forced to split your time between hanging out and learning from the other girls and presenting yourself to the boys

At night, you would sneak into your brother’s room, seeking comfort

You would talk about Sirius and how you can’t wait to get to Hogwarts

“Hogwarts’ll be different, (Y/n). No more screaming and family obligations...” He would smile, listening to a rogue sneakoscope whir in a drawer

“You’re forgetting something, Reg.” You’d sigh. “I’ll have to be on my own for a whole year before I can join you guys.”

“Well maybe mother will let you read my letters, and I can sneak in some of what Sirius wants to tell you.”

Sirius was different when he came back home for the summer

He wasn’t afraid to push your mother’s buttons a bit harder and he certainly wasn’t afraid to run his mouth a bit more

Sirius talked like the outside world like it was the best thing ever

And while you were curious about Hogwarts and the many different sorts of people that attended, your mother made it pretty clear pretty quick that even associating yourself with your older brother was worthy of some sort of punishment

And as much as you loved Sirius, you loved playing it safe even more

You didn’t outright ignore him, you did talk to him about Bella’s new boyfriend and the new quill your father bought you

But more often than not, you were with Regulus, enjoying the time you had left together

The night before Regulus had to leave for Hogwarts, you came crying into his room

“Don’t cry, sœur, it’ll be quite alright.” He would whisper in your ear, rocking you back and forth in his arm (sœur is sister in French)

But your etiquette lessons got harder and your mother got stricter, trying to make you a Perfect Slytherin Princess

Your mother was overjoyed when she got a letter saying how Regulus was sorted into Slytherin

She gave you a glass of wine (“Because that’s what ladies drink, (Y/n)!”) and told you that Regulus was a perfect role model

Regulus sent letters every week, detailing his classes and the people in his year

He made fast friends with a Bartimus Crouch Jr

He told you how Sirius would barely talk to him in the corridors ever since the sorting

Regulus would say a quick hello and Sirius would always reply, but the older brother never went out of his way to leave his friend group for a chat

Regulus would write paragraphs about why this could be before settling on the fact that it’s because of the house difference

Sirius only sent a few letters home and each time they were burnt to ash in front of you

So Regulus was your only outlet

You would tell him about how mother was starting to restrict your meals and starting to squeeze you into dresses far too small

He would offer you comforting words and distractions by talking about school, as it was far too difficult to actually help your situation through a letter

Regulus didn’t come home for Christmas break, claiming that exams were stressing him out, especially Herbology, so he’d rather continue his studies in a school environment

So that’s how the rest of your year goes

Regulus is...different when he gets back for the summer

It’s a very slight change, you’re pretty sure you’re the only one who notices

But it’s there

A bit more reserved, a bit more secretive

Childish wonder disappearing

He no longer publicly acts afraid of your mother

“It’s Sirius’ fault he’s got grounded, (Y/n). He broke a rule, now he’s facing the consequences.”

“But Reg, he didn’t do anything wrong—“

“(Y/n)! Are you trying to encourage the downfall of the Noble House of Black?!”

And that was it

But finally you were off to Hogwarts

Regulus lets you sit with him and Barty, who wears expensive shoes like you and Reg and had a slight tic with sticking his tongue out

But he was nice nonetheless less

Turns out, they were the outcasts of the outcasts

You were welcome to join when you are sorted into Slytherin

They were sure that you were going to be sorted there already

And you were dreading it

What if you weren’t a Slytherin and ended up like Sirius?

You could barely handle your family now, there’s no way you’d be able to take the extra shit Sirius gets

The hat gives you a choice

The worst choice possible

Gryffindor or Slytherin

You end up with a hatstall of 8 minutes, constantly looking between your brothers

And you beg to be placed in Slytherin

And so you join your brother and Barty at the table of the snakes

Sirius doesn’t look at you across the Great Hall

“Hey, Reg? Did the hat give you a choice too?”

“A choice between what?”

“Slytherin and Gryffindor.”

“Don’t tell anyone you got a choice. Listen, people in this house are brutal to people like you who get choices. Don’t mention it.”

“You didn’t answer my question—“

And he never does

You spend all of your time with Regulus and Barty, the other kids in your year are kinda major assholes

Regulus helps you with your homework, always making time for you

Meet ups in the library

Chess in the common room

Barty was usually with you as well

And that’s how it goes over the next few years

Even when Regulus is busy with his own classes and him being a seeker, he’ll make time for you

You always attend his matches, cheering him on

He’s a great seeker

In your fifth year, you notice how Reg and Barty change drastically

Pulling away from you, secret meetings, dark depictions and phrases hidden in notebooks

You get worried

For the first time ever you push your way through the Marauders to talk to your brother

“Oh, the Slytherin Princess arrives! Want us to bow?” He snarks, his friends laughing

“Piss off, Sirius! It’s about Reg.”

“What about him? Did he finally stop kissing Walburga’s arse?”

“It isn’t a laughing matter!” You’re practically in tears

And he listens to you as you explain all of your concerns and he ends up agreeing that that is worrisome

“What the hell did you tell Sirius?” Regulus shouts at you in the empty common room one night

“I’m worried, Reg! You’re going all dark, like what mother wants! This isn’t you!”

“This is me, believe it or not, (Y/n)! I’m not some puppet!” He shouts at you.

“Just wait, (Y/n), you’re next. Next year, it’ll be you. You can’t escape it.”

“Sirius got out of it.” You mumble

Regulus storms out and that’s the last real conversation you have with him and Barty for a long time

You get a letter from him when you graduate, something you have to hide away from your brother and the rest of the Order

Forgive me, sœur,

RAB

•

All Character Taglist: @aspiringsloth20 @amourtentiaa @cherie-draco

Regulus Taglist: @lunalovecroft

[cxffexngel]

[ @aaetherius​ ] || [ dFSÑDSFDf thanks for reminding me to open the submit page, so now you have free real estate with length of asks!!! ]

Kiss day was something the Singularity had mentioned to him before, and something he was already familiar with due to Sandalphon once citing it as a reason for suddenly stealing a kiss from him a day that felt like less than a breath ago. But when it had come up again in conversation with the airship's stalwart leader, whom Lucifer, unfortunately, happened to get far too much information from when it came to the customs Skydwellers held, he had learned just how scared a holiday it was. Now he was utterly determined to return the favor to the archangel. But Sandalphon had slipped from his grasp early, and in his sleep-touched daze he hadn't truly registered the other's missing warmth against him until he had groggily sat up on a collection of tangled sheets as his palm lazily patted the mattress in search for the other only to find the area beside him empty. A few blinks and he woke to a room devoid of the Supreme Primarch, losing his chance to gently wake him with a kiss.

Swiftly following his first failed attempt to ensure he celebrated the day properly - as the Singularity had ensured him not doing so would have dire consequences, and he would not wish for anything ill to befall Sandalphon - he quietly made his way over to the cafe where he expected the other to be. The smell of coffee had been fresh in the air when he had slowly poked his head in, but, alas, by the time he had gotten there Sandalphon had already left. With his wings sagging against his back, he carefully followed after any trace of the archangel, the Singularity even popping in from time to time to help him locate the other. But every time he came close to, he could sense Sandalphon's presence begin to fade. By the time sunset had become to trickle in through the windows of the Grandcypher, his core is heavy with worry. He's scarcely seen the other all day, and he fears Sandalphon is working himself too hard once again. It morphs his excitement into dread until, finally, he spots the other beneath the orangey-pink hue of the dwindling light, and allows a breath of relief to flutter past his lips. His core, the fragile thing that it is, simply can't wait to embrace the other, and instead of following the advice the Singularity had given him (urging him to surprise Sandalphon), he simply rushes over to the archangel.

His strong arms come to wrap so tightly, yet still somehow gently, about the other's waist that he nearly, unintentionally, lifts Sandalphon off of his feet. Burying his face into the crux of the other's neck, he allows the scent of coffee to almost overwhelm as he nuzzles softly into the other's skin, and the fabric of his shirt. "Sandalphon," he whispers faintly as he slowly lifts his head after a few moment, gingerly holding the other as close to him as he can manage. "Forgive me, I pray you have not been working too hard, but I have missed you." Slowly, he leans forward to give the other the gentlest kiss upon the tip of his nose. "The Singularity has informed me it is Kiss Day, and I wish to celebrate it, together, with you, if you will allow me to."

          All the day spent with the other’s footsteps trailing his heels, and Sandalphon wasn't doing it for any ill intention at al - no. It was just fond fear, Lucifer now most prepared than ever with newfound knowledge he really has to someday question it’s sources had the former Supreme primarch much more giddy and all the more determined to properly 'celebrate' days such as these. The itch to go and throttle the life out the captain bubbling like a gentle fire fueled by petty alone, but the chance for retribution never once dawning for his hands hold that little trouble seeker. No, instead the danger loomed dangerously close, always sensing the other's presence no matter where Sandalphon manages to excuse himself to. From somehow making it out the bed without waking the former, to at least opening the cafe until time had called and he left someone else to serve for the time being. Manage to hang some laundry without much trouble and then unceremoniously scramble from the other's field of vision. And again, it wasn't for naught nor because he did not wish for Lucifer's love at all. It's just that he knew that once the other's strong hold embraced him, that's all for the supreme primarch; it's mark his penance and be showered upon kisses and kisses until left a complete breathless mess laughing like an idiot, feathers sticking everywhere and his hair a worse mess than it somehow manages to look certain mornings, as if a strong storm had hit the airship while taken by slumber.

           Yet sundown is already before the Grancypher's periphery, strong orange rays painting sepia the grand vast of skies and dots of what could be lone islands within the distance to be seen - And worry paints Sandalphon's core now that it's been a while, the chase having drawn enough to at least spare the other and left Lucifer find him, finally. So he stops, the handrails that make the best part of the airship's edges so no one would fall a good leverage to let his palms rest atop them, leaning a bit so his armor less frame meets the edge and take in a gasp pf air that his lungs had begged for a while now - unable to shake the fluster that weights his core and the slight guilt that also hangs from that branch, which he knows wouldn't last. Fate sealed when those footsteps once more meet his ears and muscles reflexively tense a bit, but then relax with silent relief; praying the skies to be prepared and let all that contained love the other bleeds with overwhelm his soul, whisper an apology for purposely hiding from the other in some sort of childish play the younger crew members often entertained themselves with considering the grand amount of rooms, corridors and places to hide they could choose and test their abilities. Yet it all proves for even more naught, no matter how much he braces himself or trains his mind and body to somehow meet the other's presence and simply melt with it - his strength rips the air from his lung, that bold hold striking the deepest parts of his core and cold blod rush through his entire body as blinding lightings and leave trails of scalding heat in their stead. Unceremonious noise, akin to a gasp and squawk unfiltered past lips that part with the surprise clearly painted across sharp visage and that's how he knows that not even today Sandalphon was going to survive this man's shamelessness. yet, as always, there will never a better way for Lucifer to express his emotions like this, it is something he'd never change or wish for it to cease in any way. Just prays his own core can somehow build enough stamina to not painfully throb at each and endless ways Lucifer finds to express himself outrageously.

         " L-Lucif— " Strained voice barely manages out, a higher pitch as hands had somehow found where Lucifer's circle his waist, relishing on his the tip of his heels seem unable to meet the familiar worn wood of the deg's surface as the other holds his smaller frame as if his life depended on it - and probably it does, because now that he finally has a look, from over his shoulder, to Lucifer's messy strands as they veil from sight how his visage might be. Yet even without looking Sandalphon already can feel the relief dawning upon the other, how that intake of air simply nourished his core with everything that is right and bright. It doesn’t fail to dust his cheeks a faint rosy color, and it doesn't help too the bashful chuckle bubbling from the depths of his chest as it heaves out within their silence. " I... Missed you too. I apologize for my absence. " But he doesn't have the heart yet to say the truth, not when it had somehow burdened the other now that he thinks of it; did Lucifer think something worse? But nearly tangent thoughts banish the second he processes the kiss laid upon his nose, blinking his own worries away in a miraculous spell as he slowly shifts to face the other better, and rest his hips upon the handrail as it lazily creaks with the newfound weight added to it. Sound that gets carried away by the gentle breeze along the downy pale skirt that flutters slowly under the belts that keep them upright, laying his palms at the edge where those long gloves end, and skin peek from Lucifer's biceps. " If to celebrate it with you somehow fills for the time we spent apart, then I would never say no. " It was impossible to deny further the other, his core also yearns for it even as they have exchanged more touches and kisses than the two thousand of years worth of silence could dare and even recall. Oh how Lucifer's soft tone was all in the world to undo his own stubbornness, the only thing along; stronger than Lyria's beady eyes or Gran's unbearably kind soul, that could sway his core into caving and forget about responsibilities for once in a while, even if his war torn body aches to do things, to meet battles or go around the airship doing things. So one of his hands, the one even now adorned with the shining golden ring carefully traces where that pale skin radiates warmth, touches with featherlight gentleness against the other's broader neck where fabric edges with golden rims, and then cups the taller primarch's jaw with an unspoken apology all written on his eyes as they soften when he meets his gaze with one of it's own. Thumb tracing aimless circles where the a rosy hue paints the edge of the other's lashes with life and admiring how the sunset's light never cease to frame his visage almost as if he had been descended from the stars themselves. " I hope this counts as an apology, too, dearest Lucifer. " He tries to sound a bit timid, but it's impossible to not let his adoration drip from his tongue, head tilting as eyes relishes on Lucifer's clear senseless and unconditional worry even now having a strong hold to Sandalphon's own guilt, one he will make up no with endless spoken apologies, but with actions that would tear the remaining hours this day was left with, and simply let himself be engulfed by the cocoon of feathers the other may subject him with, if his own didn't manifest first and steal Lucifer for himself in a selfish streak.

[jenonctcity]

Lifetime Of Apologies

[8:14pm]

Lee Jeno – Angst

Warnings: Character Death, Torture, Blood.

Hogwarts!Au

Word Count: 2.6k

Request: Hogwarts!Au with Jeno, Enemies-Lovers, him and reader compete in school.

 Jeno and you had always had a complicated relationship. What started off as rivalry had taken its time but had eventually blossomed into a steady romance. You’d spent 6 years competing with each other in everything you possibly could, only to flush the competitions down the toilet the first time you’d shared a kiss. But that all meant nothing now as shit had hit the fan. The dark lord had waged war against Hogwarts, meaning all the students who were against him had taken it upon themselves to fight back. You’d do anything to go back in time, back to when you and Jeno had first competed in potions. The Slytherin boy had been sat next to you when Snape gave you a very small and brief praise on the potion you had brewed. He didn’t hesitate to chime in and make the cold professor check his own potion, insisting it was better than yours. He was sure even if his potion wasn’t better than yours, that the Slytherin biased Snape would take his side against a Hufflepuff. He hadn’t taken Jeno’s side and had been honest with telling him that his potion was awful, and he shouldn’t be so impulsive about getting his work checked before making it decent. That had sparked something in Jeno, his competitiveness and newly found hatred towards you making him pick competitions with you at everything. 

The next big competition between the two of you that you could remember was when Slytherin and Hufflepuff had competed in Quidditch during your third year. Every tiny contest leading up to that being too petty and small for you to remember. You’d both been on your houses team, him a beater, you a chaser. You remember seeing his smirk and arm raised with the bat in his hand. Then the next thing you could remember was waking up in the hospital wing with a pounding headache and broken arm. He had never apologised, but there were rumours that the chocolate frog left at your bedside was left by him when you were still unconscious.

In your sixth year, Jeno had witnessed you perfectly brew a love potion. The frown marked on his face left you feeling nervous as his glare seemed to shoot straight through you. You hesitated before you asked him if he wanted you to brew a love potion together. He reluctantly agreed and you spent the next half an hour working together on the potion. By the end of the lesson you’d had a full conversation with the angst filled boy, and you came to realise that he wasn’t as bad as what you thought he was. You worked together in the next lesson and he even walked you to your next lesson, despite his following lesson being on the opposite side of the castle. When you’d exited Herbology he had been waiting for you, leaning against the wall with his books held against his chest and a red blush painted on his cheeks. You ate lunch together despite the whispers you both heard behind your backs. Two weeks later he asked you to be his girlfriend and all competitions you had ceased to exist anymore. Instead he became supportive of your achievements and felt proud when teachers would praise you in front of him.

Something you never expected from him though was to one day find the dark mark on his wrist when you were holding his hand. You sat cuddled up to him underneath a tree by the black lake. He’d done a good job of hiding it from you for a month of him having it, but when you started to kiss his knuckles and trail soft kisses up his wrist, his mind was too full of you for him to remember he had the mark on his arm. Your gasp knocked him out of his thoughts, and he hurried to pull his arm from your grip, pulling his sweater arm back down to his hand. You both sat in silence, you staring at the rippling water in front of you, and his eyes trained on your face. Waiting for you to ask him questions or shout at him. But nothing came. You sat silent, your mind racing with thoughts of your boyfriend being a deatheater. He leaned over, placing a soft kiss to your cheek before promising you that he would never do anything to hurt you, and that he had no choice but to join Lord Voldemort’s side. He explained how his dad was a loyal follower of the dark lord, and he was pushed into doing it. You just nodded in reply, still not speaking so he connected his lips with your own.

You had expected him to take Voldemort’s side as soon as the war started, and he had. You hadn’t heard from him in weeks. You’d sent him an owl telling him how much you missed his embrace, his smile, and his terrible jokes. He’s never sent you anything in return, leaving your heart broken. He wasn’t at school with you and the other students, instead, he was with the heartless murderers and traitors. Did that make him one in your eyes? No. Your love for him blinded you of the crimes he had committed. You didn’t even dare think of the things he might have done.

So, him stood in front of you with his wand raised intimidatingly at you left you petrified. His older brother stood behind him, whispering in his ear words you couldn’t hear. Jeno visibly tensed at what his brother said to him, his eyes never leaving yours. Your heart pounded in your ears, the sound deafening you despite the sound of people dying and being injured around you. The three of you were stood in the halls of the second floor, no one else near you, although you wished there was more people around, enough that you would be able to sneak away without Jeno noticing in the crowd. But you couldn’t always get what you wanted, if you did then Jeno would never have betrayed you and be stood in front of you ready to hurt you.

“I can’t…” Jeno mumbled quietly but the words bounced around the walls enough for you to hear him.

“You can. Just do it. I know you love her, so I won’t force you to kill her. But you have to show your loyally to our side somehow. Do it.” His brother didn’t bother whispering anymore, not caring if you heard. You’d never officially met Jeno’s older brother, him having left the school before you and Jeno were on good terms. But from what you knew he was a popular student, well liked amongst Slytherin’s and a seeker on the quidditch team. But he clearly knew of how much you meant to Jeno, caring enough for his little brothers’ sanity and feelings that he wasn’t going to force death upon you.

“Please forgive me (Y/N)…” He gulped, blinking back tears as he flicked his want at you. “Crucio!” Red sparks flew out the tip of his wand, hitting you in the chest and knocking you backwards into the wall within the blink of an eye. Your head cracked against the stone hard and you slid down the wall, your head once again making impact with a hard surface as you hit the floor. Pain coursed through your veins from the curse, the pain of hitting the wall nothing compared to the fire that ran through you. A silent scream ripped out of you; the pain so unbearable that your voice wouldn’t even work. The pain was nothing you had ever felt before and didn’t stop even after he released the curse from you. You lay in a crumpled heap, your eyes barely being able to stay open as dizziness and nausea took over your mind. Jeno didn’t even think about his brother watching as he ran to you, collapsing to his knees to scoop you into his arms. His brother disappeared, leaving the two of you alone. He pressed a hand to the back of your head, his fingers slipping against each other as they became soaked with your blood. “No…” Tears blurred his vision, one dropping from his eye onto your colourless cheek. “You’ll be okay, stay with me baby.” He held back his sobs, not wanting to panic you but he knew your time was limited. Suddenly the pain of the curse lifted, leaving you with a throbbing ache at the back of your skull. The pain throbbing in time to your fast heartbeat.

“Jeno…” You voice was weak and close to cracking. “So handsome.” The ghost of a smile flashed on your face as you stared up into his glistening eyes. Slow tears ran down the side of your face into your messed-up hair. Your blood soaking into his black as night robes as he held you in his arms.

“Don’t go…” He sobbed, stroking your cheek with his warm hand, brushing away a tear. “We still have so much time left together. We haven’t had long enough yet baby, we spent too much time competing against each other and not enough time competing on the same side.” Your body temperature started to drop, eyes blinking slower like a tired toddler as you watched him. You found it hard to watch him show such a distressing emotion, never having witnessed this side to him.

“I missed you, school…” You took a deep breath, finding it harder to get your words out. “School sucked without you…”

“I missed you too…hey keep your eyes open!” He panicked when your eyes stayed shut too long for his liking, giving you a mild shake to alert you. Your eyes popped open and stayed staring at him. “I love you.” His voice sounded like a desperate whine, his warm lips coming down and pressing a loving kiss to your cooling forehead. Blood continued to stream from the back of your head, the pain getting duller as adrenaline pumped through your body and shock kicked in.

“I love you more.” Your voice was breathy and quiet. “R-remember when you knocked m-me off my broom in quidditch.” You paused to gulp down the access saliva forming in your mouth from your crying. He visibly winced at the memory; it having not been brought up between you two since it had happened. He’s hoped you’d forgotten that had happened but deep down he knew that was unlikely. “Was it you t-that left the chocolate frog? At my bedside?” You didn’t know why that was on your mind in this situation, but the you’d always wanted to know the truth. Wanting to know if 13-year-old Jeno was sincere enough to do something like that. His head nodded fast, a pained smile forming on his face.

“Yeah that was me…I felt too bad to give it to you when you woke up and I was too ashamed to apologise so I snuck in when everyone went to bed and left it there.” He stroked your head gently, pulling you even closer to him as he moved to lean against the wall with his legs brought up to cradle you to his chest. You winced as he moved you, but you were grateful to be so close to his chest. Your ear pressed against his chest and head tucked in the crook of his elbow, like how a mother would cradle a baby. His rapid heartbeat calming you as you felt your body weaken more.

“Knew it.” You wanted to laugh but you didn’t have the energy, instead what Jeno saw was your mouth form a quick smile, before it melted away to a relaxed formation. One last breath slowly cascading from your lungs. You’d lost too much blood, your life slipping away in Jeno’s hold.

“No…NO! WAKE UP!!” He shook you more violently, telling you to wake up despite the fact your eyes were still open as you looked at him with a blank stare. “Come back.” His voice cracked and more tears fell from his eyes as he sobbed, pulling your body up to sob against the crook of your neck. He knew he’d done this. He’d accidentally killed the woman he wanted to spend the rest of his life loving. The woman he wanted to spend the rest of his life apologising to for all the things he’d done to hurt you. He had a whole list of things he’d regretted doing and saying to you. Now he had to add ending your life onto his list. “I love you, I’m sorry. I’m so sorry.” He pulled back from your neck, his eyes raking over your face, taking in every detail. He stared into your lifeless eyes, memorising the patterns in the colour of your eyes before gently wiping his hand over your eyes. Closing them one last time. He leaned down, connecting his temperate lips against your icy one. Putting all his love for you into the last kiss he’ll ever share with you. A sense of dread and heartbreak ran through him as he realised that he’ll never hear your laugh again. Or get to be the proud boyfriend again when you got praised by a teacher. He stood up cautiously, not wanting to jostle your body too much as he carried you in his arms. Your head lolling back over the edge of his arm and one of your arms fallings down as gravity took its hold on your unresponsive body. Jeno walked through the castle feeling numb. The fighting had stopped, and the students were gathered in the torn apart great hall. His entrance caused a variety of mixed reactions. Some angry, some scared, others mildly excited to see the lost looking boy until they saw what was in his arms.

“Jeno…?” Renjun stood up from his spot on the floor. The Ravenclaw boy was your best friend, and he knew that Jeno was on the side of the dark lord. Jeno approached Renjun. Jaemin, a Slytherin boy who hadn’t been on Voldemort’s side, was sat with Renjun and also jumped up when he saw Jeno. “Is that...? Oh god it is.” Renjun’s hands cupped his mouth in shock, tears immediately crowding his eyes.

“Take her.” Jeno ordered, his voice weak and not very demanding. But Jaemin quickly reacted before Renjun could and hurried to take you from Jeno’s grasp. He looked down at you and his stomach plummeted. Jeno was his closest friend, and his heart broke at seeing how blank and lost Jeno looked. Renjun continued to cry next to him, staring at you with a broken heart. Jeno took a step back, nearly collapsing but collecting himself before he could.

“Stay.” Jaemin held you closer to his chest, struggling to hold your dead weight in his grip. “Stay on our side. For her.” Jaemin pleaded, his voice desperate. “Chenle didn’t make it either. Stay for them both.” His voice was soaked in sorrow and anguish, trying his best to not break down.

“No.” Was all Jeno said as he turned his back to everyone. His voice frosty and monotone. He walked out of the great hall with a blank face, his tears dried against his skin and his head empty. As he made it to the doors, he turned to look at you one last time. Flashbacks to the moment your head collided with the wall and the horrible cracking sound it made haunting him, and he turned to leave again. Walking away, knowing now he’d have to spend the rest of his life apologising to himself for what he’d done. But he would always be unforgiving.

[inviouswriting]

Basorexia

The overwhelming desire to kiss

Change of pace from my angst writing. I do write it well when I write it~

Aymeric x Kiya. Haven’t written them in a while and I should.

Mentions of.

Meeps and Fae’a - @meepsthemiqo​

Shuri and Estinien. - @maiden-born-in-snow​

Something light~

Aymeric had stepped outside his home for fresh air. The previous night he had his own worries to deal with that he did not even entertain the turmoils that bothered the Scions. They were far from his mind, the event that took place in his home required his attention greater.

Kiya had gone into labor, and he did not leave her side for anything, not even the messenger or linkpearl that asked for his presence at the Rising Stones. In his haste he had told them pointedly to not bother him with trivial nonsense. Using his former Ishgard stance to not get involved in foreign matters.

It was foreign for him, dealing with a supernatural being. Kivera, he could never be truly angry with her, he had given him his wife. Who needed him more. He sided with the reaper in her methods, for the fact Cid meddles with things he should leave dormant, while G’raha Tia had cheated death a few times. Those thoughts vanish as he remembers the fresh face of his daughter.

Alyse was finally born after what felt like eight hours of labor. He had stepped out to get some air, he looked dishelved, but a wide smile on his face as he felt the warm sun despite the cold of Ishgard’s permanent winter.

Kiya was wiped out from exerting her energy, when he left her and Alyse, Kiya had protectively held their daughter close to her chest as she slept. A sight he wished he could capture to always remember.

“Ser Aymeric!” Aymeric looks over to see Edmont.

“Lord Edmont! Good to see you.” He had yet to tell anyone about the birth, and Edmont is the perfect first person for him to break the news to. The only other people that would know is Whitecape and the scared messenger he yelled at for bothering him while his wife was giving birth.

“You look rough, the wife?” He teases Aymeric, a wry smile graces his lips.

“Indeed, she kept me up half the night with bringing in our daughter.” Aymeric’s tone is teasing, he sees Edmont’s face light up.

“She?” Aymeric nods, the older Fortemps places a hand on Aymeric’s shoulder.

“They’re both well?”

“Kiya is asleep and so is Alyse.” He answers his question, and starts to lead him back to his home. He knows Edmont wants to see a grandchild. He’d still have to wait a while before any of his other sons marry.

“Alyse? A girl?” He felt a little concern, the first born between them being a girl. She’ll have alot of things to accomplish in the name of her parents.

“Aye, even I was surprised.” They speak more in hushed whispers upon entry of the Borel manor. Silently Aymeric has Edmont warm up by a fire, himself included as they make small talk till he went to retrieve Alyse from Kiya’s arms.

The first noticeable feature Edmont sees is the ears and tail. His heart warmed from both and is grateful to see her healthy.

“She’s miqo, like Kiya.” Edmont remarks quietly, the soft face of Alyse makes him wish he wasn’t so old to have another child blessed to him. As he touches Alyse’s face the infant’s mouth opens wide, in a natural reaction to feed. 

“Be a while before we see her eyes. I wonder whose she’ll have, Aymeric’s or Kiya’s?” 

“Mine. Got a glimpse of them after the birth when she was awake. She already has my eyes, but the same seeker of the sun.” Edmont understood, and brushes his thumb over Alyse’s face touching softly. He felt great able to see a grandchild before he would end up in death himself at some point. 

“Already stunning like her parents, the city will love her.” He is certain, she is bound for greatness much like Aymeric was. He prayed that Alyse doesn’t suffer the vast racism still within the city. She is a mixed, and mixed were heavily discriminated against still.

Edmont hands Alyse back to Aymeric who looks just right with her. Though compared to the elezen men, she was smaller in the crooks of their arms. 

“May Halone bless and guide her through. She should be returned to her mother before she misses her.” Aymeric nods, and goes to give Alyse back to Kiya. He sees Edmont out, giving him permission to tell choice people. He had moogles to deliver letters to Estinien and Shuri about Alyse.

When he is back next to Kiya, he sees odd green eyes glare at him from her nest of blankets.

“You took her from me.” Aymeric almost feels fear from her tone, a little anger in her voice.

“F-forgive me, my love. Edmont.” Aymeric feels sheepish, Kiya snickers a little then winces.

“I only jest, should have woken me up to speak with him.” Kiya felt her body like she had plummeted from Kugane’s tower. Sore in every nerve, her back felt twisted from being bent in a position that helped ease birth. 

“How are your hands?” She asks Aymeric as she sits up enough to take Alyse.

“Sore still, but nothing that won’t heal. I let you rest longer, you were up half the night after all.” Kiya looks up into loving blue eyes staring at her. He looked excited, he looked proud, he had nothing but love directed at Kiya and Alyse.

Aymeric feels another linkpearl message and answers it this time. Kiya gets one herself but chooses to half ignore it.

“Aymeric, we’ve been trying to reach you and Kiya. Is everything alright?” Tataru.

“My apologies for ignoring the linkpearls last night, Kiya and I were unavailable.”

“What had you two busy that you didn’t answer?” It felt like a tease.

“A birth.” Kiya answers groggy and half annoyed. She can almost see the lalafell’s shocked expression. She flattens her ears knowing what is about to happen.

“AND YOU DIDN’T TELL ME!?! WHAT?! YOU HAD THE BABY?!” Aymeric grimaces himself at the assault on his ears. Kiya looks at him pleading.

“Miss Tataru, she was in labor, she couldn’t very well answer you.” Aymeric defends.

“I’ll be over soon! I have to see, are they a boy or a girl!?”

“Alyse. A girl.” Another shout of excitement from Tataru.

“Do you want me to tell the others?” Tataru is excited, this was good news after the situation that presented itself the previous night.

“You can tell them. But I am only accepting a few visitors at a time.” Kiya moves closer to rest her head against Aymeric’s shoulder, Alyse had fed enough.

“Will do! I will visit in a few days then!” Tataru excitedly ends the linkpearl to go tell the Scions the uplifting news about the baby.

Kiya eyes Aymeric, and he leans over to give her a gentle kiss.

“You weren’t going to ask what last night was about?” Kiya inquires.

“Frankly, I do not care. From what a messenger at the door said, it was a matter of Kivera attacking Cid and G’raha Tia.”

“She attacked them? Why?” Aymeric helps adjust Alyse between him and Kiya as he laid next to her.

“I do not know why, but from my encounters with her. She doesn’t do it without reasons. My guess they stepped where they shouldn’t have. Let’s not dwell on that for now my love? We have more important matters here. You getting more rest, and me to dote on both of you.” Another kiss on her face, and Kiya turns her head to press one back to the side of his face.

“Agreed. Maybe I should follow Shuri’s example and become a stay at home mother for Alyse.” Kiya muses aloud.

“I would not be opposed to that idea. It means you are here safe, instead of nearly dying fighting monsters left and right, solving everyones problems when the only thing I want you to solve right now. Is how to appease my need to kiss you senseless.”

“What stops you?” Kiya teases him.

“The frailty that has hit you.”

“Frail? Me? Frail? You do know a few elixirs should have me up and running again.” Green eyes look at him with playful intent.

“Oh, so you weren’t pleading to all twelve deities about how you were about to die last night?”

“In my defense. I was in pain. You push another living thing out of your body the way I did.” Kiya’s face darkens. Aymeric presses his face close to one of her ears.

“I much rather push something into you.” His voice a quiet low hum, Kiya hits his shoulder for that one, seeing his devilish smile.

“You are a tease..” She turns her head enough, and Aymeric closes his distance to kiss her full, earning hers back.

“You’ll forgive me, of course when you want to again.”

“Maybe after seeing Kan-E-Senna. She might be able to speed my healing up.” She feels her face flushed. Kiya turns her attention to their daughter for now and lowers her head to nuzzle her cheek to hers.

“Aye, she’ll visit soon after I send the letter. Be prepared for alot of visitors soon. Nanamo will be excited and so too will Krile. Meeps and Fae’a might enjoy visiting too.” Aymeric nuzzles the other side of Alyse’s face feeling the soft skin against his cheek.

“Now, my love. Get some rest. I’ll be here when you wake up.”

[spiteweaver]

previous | next

--

Crammed into a cluttered office at the hospital was not how Dreamweaver preferred to greet newcomers to the territories, but Iosif had insisted. He was a dutiful drake, every bit as faithful to his Patron as Dreamweaver was to theirs, and until he had been convinced of Penumbra’s loyalties and Junior’s innocence, he would not leave them unattended. In fact, if he’d had things his way, they would have been holding this impromptu meeting at Penumbra’s bedside.

“What,” Isaiah had said, “so that you can retraumatize them at your leisure? If you don’t get out of my sight, you’ll have more to worry about than a Shade-sick Pearlcatcher!”

That was how Dreamweaver found themselves sitting behind Isaiah’s desk rather than their own, with not even a cup of tea to offer poor Junior, who stood trembling at their side. He had said nothing upon their arrival, and he said nothing now. His eyes were dull, his lips bitten raw; both were still and silent. The air around him spoke in his place, shimmering with the remnants of potent Arcanite magic.

Across from them, Mikhail shifted uncomfortably in his seat. Neither he nor Iosif was accustomed to donning their glamours. Iosif was much too large, at least nine feet of muscle and wild, dark hair, and the office struggled to accommodate him. Mikhail, on the other hand, was of an appropriate size, but had been unable to shed his thick tail and cumbersome antlers. Dreamweaver was reminded of Phantasos’ first disastrous forays into shape-shifting, and offered the pair a sympathetic smile.

“Well,” they began at last, “this isn’t the first time something like this has happened.”

“You’ve met other Seekers?” Mikhail asked incredulously.

“I meant, er—” Dreamweaver tapped a finger against their neck— “violent introductions.”

Mikhail’s cheeks colored, and he dropped his gaze to his lap. Iosif merely snorted. “We’ve made a real mess of things,” Mikhail said. “If we can atone, you need only tell us how.”

“Atone?” said Iosif. “For what? That dragon is Shade-touched. We hunt Shade-touched.”

“Be that as it may,” Dreamweaver cut in before Mikhail could chastise his mate, “Penumbra is a valued member of our clan. Through their affliction, they have made great strides in Shade research, a previously taboo field of study. Given enough time, they may very well discover an effective cure for Shade-sickness.”

“There is already a cure.” Iosif bared his teeth. “I was in the middle of administering it when that boy intervened.”

“Death is not an effective cure,” Dreamweaver replied coolly, “and that boy’s name is Shard.”

“J—Junior,” Junior added in a barely audible whisper.

“Then if you will not abide their extermination,” Iosif went on, “I shall return with them to the Southern Icefield, and they shall be sealed in ice. The boy—” Iosif’s lips curled up in a grimace— “shall accompany me for sentencing. If he is found to be a danger to Sornieth, he too will be sealed.”

“That is unacceptable,” Dreamweaver said, “and might I remind you that you have no power here, Seeker Iosif? These are my lands you have trespassed upon, my people you have viciously assaulted or otherwise harassed. I have stayed my hand thus far in the hopes that we might make amends, but I will forcibly remove you if I deem it necessary.”

Iosif leaned forward in his seat. “As I told the boy,” he growled, “you are welcome to try.”

“Then tell me,” said Dreamweaver, “what is it you fear most?”

“Nothing,” Iosif replied, rising defiantly to his feet. His great height forced him to bend, and yet he seemed somehow more fearsome. “I fear not pain, nor sickness, nor even death—and I fear you least of all.”

“Oska,” Mikhail scolded, “don’t goad them.”

Dreamweaver stood as well. Though they hardly came to Iosif’s waist, their expression was even, their gaze measured as it met his. He possessed the same icy eyes of his mate, the eyes of the Warden, which many a dragon claimed could see into one’s soul. Dreamweaver searched them unflinchingly.

“We are all afraid of something, Seeker Iosif,” they said, and without another word, reclaimed their seat.

Unexpectedly, Iosif followed suit. “You are Other.”

“Yes.”

The arms of Iosif’s chair groaned under the force of his grip. His nails had sharpened to lethal points, his mouth bristling with crooked fangs. The space between he and Dreamweaver sparked with ugly, pent-up energy as he grappled with himself. Everything in him, from the tips of his fingers to the pit of his stomach, was telling him that this was a fight he could not win, yet one that he must—and he was afraid.

Then Mikhail took his hand, and pressed a tender kiss to his knuckles. “You must let go, Iosif,” he murmured. “The old ways will no longer serve us.”

“You…” Iosif looked to his mate, and then back to Dreamweaver. They had made no move to defend themself; their hands remained clasped in their lap, their posture open and amenable. “...are right, Misha,” Iosif concluded. “The Lightweaver would not allow an Other to gain such immense power unless She trusted it implicitly.”

“I am not an ‘it,’” Dreamweaver said crossly.

“Forgive him,” Mikhail requested. “He’s a few generations older than I am. I have to translate for him sometimes.”

“Misha.”

“What he meant to say,” Mikhail continued, “is that he’s sorry for making brash assumptions. Neither of us was alive when the Seekers were first disbanded, but many of Oska’s living relatives were, and he grew up on their stories. In those days, Others existed only beneath the ice, or beyond the stars.”

Dreamweaver surveyed them for a long moment. Finally, with a weary sigh, they waved a dismissive hand. “Think nothing of it,” they said. “I’m quite accustomed to prejudice by now, and it is not entirely unearned. I was not always who I am today.”

Iosif looked again to Mikhail, as if to say, “You see?” and Mikhail returned it with a sharp jab to his mate’s ribs, which seemed to do nothing to convey his displeasure. “Still,” he persisted, “he is sorry.”

“That aside,” Iosif said, “my orders are absolute. However, I cannot hope to challenge you.”

“Obviously,” Dreamweaver agreed.

Mikhail choked back a laugh, but Iosif pressed on unperturbed. “What is this place?” he asked.

“A haven,” Dreamweaver replied, “for dragons like Penumbra and Shard, and for beings such as myself.”

“You have the Lightweaver’s blessing?”

Dreamweaver grinned. “I am one of Her most loyal Acolights,” they said. “She trusts me before all, or at least most, others.”

“Even so, why has She allowed you to gather Shade-touched and—” Iosif’s cold, colorless eyes cut to Junior, who hunched his shoulders— “others of a similar ilk under one banner, within Her lands, when typically they would be chased out or imprisoned?”

“Because,” said Dreamweaver, “She’s smart.”

Iosif raised a brow. “I don’t see how toying with the unknown is smart.”

“It isn’t toying,” Dreamweaver retorted. “It’s sympathizing.”

Tucking their hands behind their back, Dreamweaver moved from their seat to one of the small windows overlooking the hospital courtyard, where its patients sat in patches of late-afternoon sunlight. Their eyes softened, their proud grin melting into a sentimental smile, and for a moment, even Iosif felt at ease in their presence.

“There are many of us here who, if left to our own devices, might be swayed to darkness,” they confessed. “That is because we would have no one to teach us right from wrong, or to heal our wounds, or to believe that we could become better, or to love us unconditionally. Alone, we are weak, dragon and Other alike, but together—” Dreamweaver turned from the window, their arm sweeping out toward it— “together, we can grow.”

“Enough theatrics,” Iosif muttered, “I get it.”

“Do you?” Dreamweaver asked.

“Yes.”

“Then you understand why I cannot allow you to carry out your orders?”

“Yes.”

“We’ll speak to the Icewarden,” Mikhail offered. “If this land and all of its inhabitants are under the protection of the Lightweaver, He’ll know of it, and we’ll be able to receive an official pardon from Seeker-Warden Solveig. That way, no one else will come barging in uninformed.”

“You are a kind soul, Mikhail,” Dreamweaver said, and chuckled as Mikhail’s cheeks colored again. “I believe your mate is as well. I was very much the same as him when I was new to Sornieth and its peoples, and I will admit that putting my trust in others, strangers in particular, is not my strong suit.”

“If he ever becomes half as wise as you are,” said Mikhail, “I’ll resign!”

Iosif looked like he had a few choice words for his upstart lover, but having already made several embarrassing blunders that day, decided not to push his luck. “The thought of letting a Shade-touched roam unchecked makes me sick to my stomach,” he said instead, “but, then, I suppose they aren’t unchecked, are they?”

“I could kill them in half your time,” Dreamweaver replied, “probably less.”

Mikhail winced. “Harsh.”

“They would wish it of me,” Dreamweaver assured, “if they were ever truly lost to their sickness. That is why I ask that you leave the handling of my clan’s affairs to me, Seeker Iosif. The fact of the matter is that I could run circles around you.”

“You don’t have to rub it in,” Iosif groused. “I told you, I get it.”

“Off with you then,” Dreamweaver commanded with another wave of their hand. “You are welcome within my lands so long as you remain true to your word. Make the most of it.”

“We will be watching,” Iosif informed as he stood to depart.

“As will I.”

Mikhail thanked them for their understanding, bowing so low that they worried the weight of his antlers might topple him. Even long after the door had swung shut behind them, the pair could be heard discussing in hushed tones by those with sharp ears. Iosif’s voice now held almost none of its characteristic gruffness; he spoke to Mikhail in much the way Penitence did to Juneau, when he thought they were alone.

It seemed that Gaolers were dragons after all.

Only once the sound of distant conversation had faded did Dreamweaver turn their attention to Junior. His posture had slackened, his shoulders slumped in silent relief, but when he felt their gaze on him, he was quick to straighten his back and neaten his tunic.

“So,” they began, “that was quite the stunt you pulled.”

“Are you going to kill me in half Seeker Iosif’s time?” Junior asked meekly.

Dreamweaver patted his arm. “I’ll leave that to your dear father and husband.”

[anotherbangtantrash-blog]

First to last memory

Genre: Angst AFF

Pairing: Jimin x Reader

Word Count: 4.9k of tears (grab tissues).

Warning: This storyline goes through depression, suicidal thoughts and more. If you easily get triggered, please, DO NOT READ!.

Note: This is my first post and my first writing, with Bts that I have made and posted. Please enjoy and wait for upcoming stuff~

"Hey, they guys told me you went to your mother's house," said a sad voice over the phone.

I wish I had gone there.

"Yeah, I'm going to spend the night, you don't mind right?"

The evident huff of disappointment was heard over the line, which only made my stomach curl even more in guilt.

"Of course not, but I'll miss you, baby"

"Me too, so much"

If only he knew how much I was going to miss him. If I had only the guts to tell him everything and not be a coward like always, letting him down once more when things just start getting better between us.

"Are you okay, jagi?" worry was heard in his voice, but my mind tried it's best to ignore it, for the both of us.

"Better than ever," I said as I hung up, not tolerating a second more of him worrying about my lies.

If things just hadn't been so hard, so complicated at the worse time, this hadn't been necessary. Me having to hurt him this way, wouldn't have been necessary, but here I am, not being able to go backwards, with my mind already decided.

The guilt I felt as I drove my car to somewhere far, distant and unable to be found, was increasing by the minute. Random memories of our moments together kept on creeping into my mind, not wanting to subside as tears fell down on my cheeks.

"I can't believe we finally have a house for our own" I chirped happily as he back hugged me, placing kisses on my neck.

" I still can't believe I'm married to the most beautiful woman that exists," he said, not wanting to let go.

I remember how we got into playful fights on whoever got more shelves to store their things, or on how we never decided what food we wanted to eat, or how he always helped me with my curing depression. All the little things, all the improvised kisses that he tattooed all over my body, those, those were the things that made me love him more and more. I needed him in my life as my pillar and, without a doubt, I knew I was his too.

We balanced ourselves to perfection; I was night and he was the day that illuminated my darkness. His smiles and natural loving gestures helped me get through all the pain, and yet he never asked for anything in return, insisting that me being by his side was the biggest compensation he'd ever ask for.

No matter how many times I let him go to find someone better, someone that could give him everything he looked for, he never left me, telling me sweet lullabies to my ear.

"Please go...y-you can do so much better than me, Jimin" I cried as I pushed him away as he tried to hug me.

"And you're right; I could, but I won't, you know why? Because I don't want anyone perfect. I want you, I want you with your imperfections, haunting past and nightmares that give me an excuse to cuddle you," he found a way to get through me and place me between his legs, "I want to be the only one to count your freckles, the only one to have kids with you and the only one to love you for eternity" he said, never losing eye contact as he lovingly kissed all the tears away.

It's those things that make me question if I'm taking the right decision.

But deep down I knew that under all those supportive acts, there was still a boy that didn't know how to deal with the immense dramas that my life gave me. Not having enough fingers on my hands to count the times he's cried for not knowing what to do with my traumatic, depressed and suicidal states, only broke me more inside. I couldn't keep up knowing that my problems were also drowning him, taking him down with me to a pit of no return.

It slowly killed me inside seeing how he would stay up until late at night looking for ways to take care of mentally-ill people, without therapy, since he knew and respected the fact that I was dead afraid of those places.

That's one thing I will always admire of him; he always respected my opinions to the point he'd sacrifice himself to keep me happy.

"Jimin, do you have dreams?" I asked out of curiosity.

"I'm living mine next to you, babe," he said, giving me a peck on the cheek as he continued doing what he was doing, "what about you?"

"I never really had time to think about dreams," I say shyly.

"Then dream about us, about one day being completely cured, in some faraway place, together" he had the biggest smile as he pronounced those words.

The good memories will always linger in my head, the way he always guided me in life, taking me towards my own happiness. If only he knew that the only engine I needed was himself and his love, but just like all good things, there were really tense and bad moments where we both feared for ourselves. Those moments where I had already planned on giving up and he wouldn't talk to me for days, scared of the thought of losing me forever.

"No! I'm not going to give up on you, I refuse to do so!" he screamed from the other side of the hallway.

"What's the point of me being here? It's obvious you do this out of pity, you don't even love me, do you?" I shouted back, with venom in my voice.

That's when his facial expression changed to absolute rage. He walked up to me, looking up and down on me like a predator looking at his prey, no sign of the sweet Jimin I knew.

"Don't you ever say I don't love you, nor say I pity you," he ruffles his hair in frustration and calms his expressions as he takes hold of my shoulders and looks at me in the eyes, "I'm doing this for you because I love you and want to spend my every day with you and no one else, but if you leave, nothing will matter to me no more. I need you here with me."

I remember the sincerity in his voice followed my his teary eyes. Just the idea of me leaving him alone shatters me. I know he's grown to see me as a dependency and with me gone, he'll probably go nuts. Call me selfish for going through with this even though I know it'll destroy him.

"Give me your phone" he demanded angrily.

"No."

"I said, give it to me, for God's sake!" he came on top of me and yanked my phone out of my hands violently.

"Jimin, stop getting in the middle of everything!" I retorted back and started leaving the room, making a fuss.

"You know what? I'm done, I'm so fucking done with this shit already" his anger was evident and he went to grab his jacket from the hangers.

"Where do you think you're going?" I shout at him, "c'mon, you started this argument, now stay and finish it!"

"You seriously want me to finish it?" he mockingly replied to what I nodded, "you say you want to get better and I kill myself going to work at five in the morning and staying up until three just looking up ways to help you since you don't want to go therapy, and when I find something to help you, you deny," he continues rambling in a fit of accumulated anger, "I'm trying my best to save you because I'm afraid that any day you leave me, but then again I question why, since it doesn't seem you want to get better!"

"You're calling me a liar?" tears prickle in my eyes.

"I'm calling you an attention-seeker" he seemed to notice immediately what he said and followed me as I dashed to my room crying. I lock myself in our bathroom inside our room and I can hear him knocking on the door gently, "baby, I'm so sorry, I didn't mean a single thing I said," he said almost whispering, "I'm just so stressed out, please forgive me."

After hearing that I didn't answer, he continued, "I love you, you know that, right? I love you to fucking bits and pieces"

I let him ramble as much as he wanted, to see if maybe I found forgiveness at his harsh words, that he knew hurt me so much.

"You know no matter how hard it gets, I'll always be here, through illness and fortune, that's why I married you," his voice seems to be breaking by the second, "and that I'd do absolutely anything if it means that you're happy, so please, let me help you."

I continue not saying a word, although it's killing me to hear him shatter on the other side of the door and not being able to comfort him because I'm the cause of his sadness and stress.

"You know I need you, I can't sleep without you, you see that I'm nothing without that small, hot-headed woman that I love. Please, just forgive me, baby"

I guess I'll never forgive myself for being the cause of those bad times, those bad memories that almost ruined him. I'll never forgive the fact that I permitted him to continue with me, knowing that I was going to hurt him so much.

"Why are you so silent these days?" I asked as I hugged him. He smelled like alcohol for the first time. "Are you drunk?" I questioned in disbelief.

"I just drank a bit, don't worry about me, honey" he chirmed softly, but his raspy and sore voice indicated that he indeed was crying.

"You're not ok...talk to me, please, what's wrong?" I said, sitting in front of him, as I obligate him to face me, taking his hands off his face.

The sight killed me; he had horrible eye bags, his eyes were swollen and red, his lips were chapped, he looked worse than ever before.

"Oh my god, Jimin, baby, come here" I bear hugged him to which he immediately hid his face in the crook of my neck where he cried everything out, feeling his tears stream down my neck, into my shirt. After his breath calmed down, I carefully made him look at me, trying my hardest not to cry at his pitiful state, "tell me, what's been in your head these days?"

"You."

It was things like those that made me see the gravity of the situation; the boy was slowly killing himself emotionally for me, something I wasn't going to stay sitting and watch.

But somehow, things went worse for Jimin, making me feel that I had turned into some bad curse on him, which he always denied saying that he always had problems, but maintained them quiet for my sake.

"How was work?" I asked as he walked through the bedroom door, with his shirt already unbuttoned, showing off his muscular chest and his tie undone.

But something seemed off.

He went to the mirror and took off his shirt completely, not even realizing that I was looking at his reflection. He started running his hand over his lower abdomen with huffs and followed the traces of his stretch marks, "fucking disgusting", he kept on touching and squeezing in areas were no meat actually came out, but he still believed there was unneeded flesh there, "I look like a damn pig"

"Are you dumb or stupid?" I giggle at him, "I'm way heavier than you, look" I pull my shirt up and pinch an area where my meat comes out like a donut, "see? This is being well eaten"

"But I love yours" he states.

"You can't love mine if you don't love yourself first, Jimin"

But when it seemed that things just kept getting worse, we slowly got better, together.

"I can't believe you got scared of that shot," I say laughing as I look at his little bubu on his arm, gaining a small punch at my own from him.

"Shut up" he murmured and kept walking, shortly after smiling.

"I seriously think we act like best friends rather than a married couple," I say as I keep pinching him and laughing at his sensible state.

"Best friends don't do the things we do at night, babe" he winks, opening the car and getting ready for our date out of the city.

We had decided to celebrate the fact that I had been discharged and no longer needed any medical reviews every now and then, a relief for the both of us, as peace finally reigned again over our house, as for Jimin, he finally started giving up on dangerous diets and was finally eating whatever he felt like while doing moderate exercise.

"The food was amazing! Thank you so much" he just smiled at my cute way of hitting my tummy, signaling that I eat well, "I really missed these days, just you and me."

"I missed you," he says, taking my face in his hands as he gives me the most tender kiss, the feeling of his lips never decreasing.

We continued fighting for our relationship to last as much as we could and it seemed to have grown a stronger bond. We trusted ourselves with every problem we had, no fights, no shouting, just us laying on the couch, talking and saying our regrets. It really seemed like I was the happiest girl in the world. I didn't need anything else if I had him.

"You like that, babygirl," he said as he thrusts harder as both of us reached our climaxes.

"Fill me up" I moaned

"Whatever the princess demands" he half whimpered.

After that night, everything progressed even more.

"I have good news!" I shouted as I run to the living room where he was half-asleep, "I'm pregnant!"

He jumped out of the couch and hugged me as tight as he could, "I'm going to be a father!"

"You're going to be a great father" I reassured, "I'm ready for this new phase with you, will you accompany me?"

"Now and forever".

Things had gone well, we were told it was going to be a boy, which is what we initially both wanted since the beginning. We started building up the little boy's room together, Jimin taking care of me not doing too much work.

I had already gotten my maternity leave and I insisted on him getting his, but he refused as he felt useless if he didn't work, plus he wanted to ensure to bring a good amount of money so the baby could grow away from poverty.

He will always be an admirable man. Through thick or thin, he always tries his one-hundred percent, not letting anyone down.

On the twenty-fourth week of pregnancy, things didn't go as planned.

"Are you on some strong medication?" asked a concerned doctor.

"Yes, I have prescribed medication from past depressions".

"Miss, I'm very sorry to inform you but, you've had a miscarriage due to the medication"

I remember that I kept it quiet for almost a day before telling Jimin. He literally lost it and started blaming himself and up to this day, he still seems to do so, no matter how much I've told him it was never that way. One of his dreams in marriage had now been destroyed due to my own medication.

"It can't be...are you sure? Did she check correctly? Maybe it was jus-"

"Jimin, he's gone," I said, not letting the tears blind my sight as he fell to his knees hugging my legs.

"This can't be happening to us, it just can't" he repeated over and over again, "it's all my fault, it's all my fault"

"It was my medication, Jimin"

He cried every night in the kid's room for almost three months, marking an emotional low for him. It pained me to wake up without him in bed, instantly knowing he fell asleep crying in the baby's room, once again. I'd go and see him on the floor, in a fetal position, sleeping soundly as his eyes were stuck together due to the dry tears that I took care of cleaning for him.

"This was never your fault, please understand that," he still has his eyes closed, "it kills me to see you like this, is there anything I can do?"

He opened his eyes and made me straddle him, "let me kiss the pain away."

This time I decided to act tough, not let the pain of losing my baby show, so he had no more problems to deal with and let him be nurtured and cared for this once. I took him to places, made love as many times as he felt necessary and just gave him anything he needed to recover. Slowly but steadily, he got better by the days, but as he got better, I deteriorated.

Keeping my sobs silent the nights he slept next to me, to the nights I drunk myself to sleep and the nights I smoked my lungs out, caused me to enter once again in another emotional trauma, that didn't seem to get better as Jimin didn't know about it, unable to help me get out of that low state like last time.

Oh, how I needed his comforts. I needed them like crazy, I needed him to tell me how much he loved me and how much he didn't regret a single thing. The way his hands caressed my back as he kissed every drop of my tears away. How his eyes looked into mine and disappeared as he smiled to show how happy he tries to be in the hardest moments.

I needed it all, but he needed me more.

We became a necessity, but I slowly found myself drowning.

And after an eternal year, today I decided to get in my car.

I look to see that I had many missed calls from him because I hung up on him, a thing I never do. He also heard my voice. My broken voice.

"Don't ever leave me"

"I won't" I reassured.

There I found myself, in front of a shore, with my car turned on, looking back at all the good memories get consumed by the horrendous ones.

"You need to meet my parents!" I insisted

"Do you think they'll like the fact I'm your boyfriend? Will they take us seriously? We're just twenty..."

"Who knows, maybe we get serious and get married one day"

"I like the idea, princess" he smiled.

I slowly open the dashboard and take out one of my favorite photos I took with him, the one I always carry. It was on the last date we had.

"I can't believe you brought me to an amusement park with the fear I have" I punched his arm.

"You need to get over that fear, and who better than me to take you in that experience?" he grinned as he showed me two tickets to the largest ride here.

"You did not just do this to me" at this point my legs were jelly and he noticed.

He placed his forehead to mine and asked, "do you trust me?"

"Always".

I slowly turn the key and lock the doors. I accelerate without even thinking twice, going to the water at maximum speed.

"Jimin, do you have dreams?"

"I'm living mine next to you."

"Where is she! Where the fuck is she!" the young one shouted as he pushed through the people in the middle of the hospital. His aura was so intimidating that the nurses immediately gave him the number of the room, as he dashed to the seventh floor, room nineteen.

But he regretted entering. There he saw you, laying lifeless on the hospital bed with more than ten cables connected to you in various places, as rushes next to you, millions of tears streaming down his beautiful pale face, while sobs interrupt his sentences.

"Hey, baby, it's me, c’mon, wake up, don't do this to me," he said, his hand shaking as he placed it on your freezing cheek, gasping at the cold skin.

"You can hear me right? Please wake up, I need you, please jus- just survive", his tears now fell on her blue-ish face, "survive for me, for all we have to live for".

Doctors came in saying that she had temporary coma and it now just depended on her waking up, which was a relief to him since he thought that she’d had to require complicated medical interventions.

Hours passed and your skin now had recovered its color, but she maintained herself asleep as he sat on the chair next to the bed, staring at her.

"Jimin! I'm hungry!" she shouted from the other side of the room.

"And what does my princess want to eat?" he said as he pulled her into a kiss.

"Spicy soup!"

"Spicy soup it is" he grinned to himself.

The memories where everything was peaceful and calm reminisced in his head, from one side to another as he continued to see no reaction of the young female. He got closer to her and decided to get in the bed with her, his head in the crook of her neck as he softly spoke;

"Remember the times where we sat on the rooftop as teenagers seeing the night sky until sunrise?" he softly whispered into her neck, "how you would grab onto me because the weather was too cold for you when you just arrived to the country?"

"You said I was the love of your life that night, you said it and kissed me, remember?" he said, but no answer was heard.

"Or that time we got into a fight because I didn't want you to go see your family to your country because I'd miss you too much?" his hand slowly caressed her, still, damped hair, "I made you cry with my harsh words and I didn't sleep for three nights thinking about how bad I'd been to you."

"Remember when we promised an entire life together? We were lost in the middle of nowhere and honestly thought we'd die there because of the cold" he laughed to himself, "it was funny to see you panic and run in circles, begging that someone saved us."

"Remember when we were goofing off when buying clothes and you accidentally broke the shirt and I fell down the stairs? Do you still remember the day I went unconscious for overworking myself and you stayed the whole night at the hospital, waiting for me to wake up? I woke up," he took a breath as his tears streamed down his face once again, "so please, baby, wake up for me too, don't let everything go to waste. We still have so much to live for, like having kids, traveling together, growing old...there's so much we haven't done, so please d-don't give up now..."

He looked up to see her face that still refused to show any sign of life, which slowly started scaring him to death.

"I know our marriage has never been the best; I know we had a really bad phase where we always argued, throwing shit at each other due to the both of us being stressed and depressed, but I've tried my best and always will try my best to keep you safe, because I love you, I love the way you are, the way you smile every time I get back from work, how you comfort me when I cry, telling me the most soothing things that not even my mother was able to say. I know we found so many boulders in our life, things we didn't seem to know how to fix, but, darling, we somehow got out of them, together. We fought like warriors and at the end of the day we always ended up on our couch cuddling, watching movies as I kiss your neck making you mine once again. Why would you leave now? If you were depressed again, why did you think it would've burdened me? I would have stopped the whole world just to make you smile and get out of that dump together, like always. Why did suicide come to your mind again? Did I not make you happy enough? I'm so sorry for being a douche sometimes, and I'm sorry for not being everything that you needed, but I promise you, things will get better, but you need to trust me. You said you'd always trust me, so please do, baby, please do".

Her body remained still and his sobs became louder.

He kissed her forehead and settled to sleep next to her face, observing her every detail.

"Pass me my foundation please" she politely asked.

"What for?" I enquired.

"To cover my freckles up, duh"

"In that case," I get closer to her and start planting kisses on her freckled areas, "no."

"I want you to wipe my tears away. I want you to take my hands when nervous, all I want is you to be in my life forever. Don't ever leave me, so please stay with me. I'm afraid of being alone without my beautiful princess, j-just don't go" he whispered into her ear, "you make me see the world in a different perspective, you make me want to continue making you fall in love with me every day, but you need to give me the chance, I need you to protect me from myself. I need you to teach me to love myself so I can give everything to you."

His fingertips grazed her lips, faded memories going through his mind as he slowly sang a soft melody she always asked him to sing when she couldn't sleep.

"Love me know, touch me know, just let me love you, just let me love you..." his voice faded, mixing in with his quiet sobs.

He let himself fall asleep but soon awoken by the ruckus of a nurse coming in.

"She's awake, she's awake!" the nurse shouted as the doctor came in. He didn't have time to react, when they took her for examination and stood there dumbfounded, waiting to see the woman of his life, safe and sound again.

For what seemed like an hour to him, in reality, were thirty minutes until the doctor came in.

"We have good and bad news, which first?"

"Good news," he said with no doubt.

"She's awake and recovering," he said, flipping papers as he reads them, "the bad one is that she has irreversible brain damage and slowly will lose all the functions of her organs, muscles, and bones, which is one of the most painful processes that exists, so you have two options now; you take her home and wait until she gives her last breath, or we disconnect her from her machine that is maintaining her alive, and she'll save the painful process of slowly dying inside-out."

That's when his life crashed down into a million of broken pieces that can't seem to put themselves together anymore.

"I want to see her first" he demanded, a sudden urge of anger rushing through him towards the doctors.

Couple minutes after that, they bring her in, with her eyelids half open.

He jumps towards her.

"Oh my god, your alive...! I was so scared, I thought I lost you" he couldn't even breathe correctly, "I thought you were gone forever, don't ever do this to me ever aga-"

"Please disconnect me, it hurts so much" she whined in pain as tears slowly fell from her eyes.

"Hey, baby, calm down, everything will get bette-"

"Do you love me, Park Jimin?"

"With my heart and soul," he said, holding onto her hands and sniffling as tears fell.

"Then listen to me please, tell them to disconnect me, I can't take it anymore"

"I can't do it...I'd be like killing you!" he desperately shouted, "we can get through this, please, don't leave me alone here" his sobs were so loud, it physically hurt her.

"I'm so sorry, Jimin, but I need to go. I'll be watching you wherever I go" she smiled and held his hand.

"Don't you fucking dare speak to me like your going to die!" he said rather sadly than angrily.

"I will love you no matter where I go, don't forget it," she whispered, "you have been the first and the last man that I'll love, and I will never regret meeting you, ever"

"I love you so much," he said, dropping his head towards her.

"I love you forever, Jimin, don't forget me"

"Never".

And there he waited for the doctor to come in, ready to do one of the worst tasks his job offers, "you may say your goodbye's" the doctor didn't even dare to look.

He, shakily, got close to her and whispered, "No matter where you go, what happens to you, I will love you until my last breath I inhale, you hear me? I will never forget that beautiful woman that came into my life and turned me into the man I am today. I'm sorry for all the pain that I ever caused you and I promise I'll make you proud of me from down here, but promise me you won't forget me, promise that you'll love me forever."

She only grabbed his chin softly and brought him so close, "I’ll never forget you" and kissed him in the most tender and passionate way they've ever kissed before.

"I love you, forever," said the both at the same time as the doctor proceeded to disconnect her.

He dropped to his knees and cried, he cried like a river and he didn't even hear how loud his sobs were, that the doctor left with a lump in his throat seeing the man lose the love of his life.

He looked up at her and saw her eyes closed with a smile and one last tear fall from her beautiful eyes.

He felt his chest sting, tense, clutch, unclutch. He felt so many things expect happiness.

His wife had just died in front of him.

He got his things and looked at her one last time before leaving.

"I thought only I was crazy enough to come to the shore mid-December" he smiled down at the young teenager, probably a year or two younger.

"Guess not", she invited him to sit down next to her, "although it is the first time seeing you here."

"It's the first time I come at morning time" he inspected her beautiful features and so did she.

"What's your name?" she asked curiously.

"Jimin, Park Jimin."

"I love you, forever"

...from the first to the last memory, I will always love you.

[yobrowaddup]

touch, talk, fall asleep -- jeddy oneshot

3rd POV (changed the age gap to 4 years for this)

Teddy Lupin was a good kid. He did his homework, got good grades, played seeker for Hufflepuff and was an overall teacher's pet. He had brilliant manners and always smiled charmingly at anyone and everyone. He was loved amongst students and teachers.

So when he graduated Hogwarts, changed his hair to a bright rainbow and shaved the sides. When he got two ear piercings and magical tattoo. Friends and family all over were more than surprised. Teddy had waited till he was seventeen to make all the changes. Till he could ready start living for himself.

Harry and Ginny didn't mind. Andromeda had to give it a few weeks before she could look at him without frowning but eventually got used to it too.

The rainbow had was the thing most people has suspected. He had come out as pansexual three years prior but had always shown a love for rainbows and the brightness they represented.

Teddy also ended up finding some of Sirius' old leather jackets and harry had allowed him the motorcycle a few times prior but now both the jackets and the cycle had completely found their way into Teddy's hands, permanently.

He looked the opposite of his personality. The piercings the tattoos, that gradually became more, and the way he dressed. He was a wizarding world hearth throb.

Of course, he had even got into the magazines and news due to the commotion of 'Golden boy Harry Potter' godson is Britain's most wanted bachelor'. Now yes the title was a bit of an over exaggeration but he had defiantly worked his way into the press' hearts. He had even gotten a few modelling offers.

But Teddy being Teddy kindly declined each love confession and modelling agency. He was a modest bloke and really didn't see what all the commotion was about.

James Potter was a simple guy. He was a hot but simple guy.

He was Gryffindors dearly beloved prankster and constantly had some rumour of a girlfriend floating around.

He was seen as a player and an easy fuck. A pretty face and a nice arse.

Now what James didn't understand is that he'd only been with three girls in his Hogwarts life but thanks to his oh so lovely cousin clan there was always a rumour or a little whisper of him sleeping with the older Ravenclaw girl or the snarky Slytherin 6th year. Or just snogging with a random girl outside Hogsmeade.

The worst bit was that there was always a girl that was willing to say that she was the one James had that week. Even if he hadn't spoken to her once before.

There was always a girl latching herself onto his arm, always someone sexualizing him.

James tried to ignore the whispers he heard seeing as he knew they weren't true but he couldn't tell them they weren't true. No one had believed him before. Why would they now?

There was always one person James could rant to.

Teddy.

The boys had known each other since diapers and they were connected at the hip whenever close.

James adored the older boy. More than a best friend probably should but he never let that get to him. Teddy was too important to him to loose.

The boys often found themselves in James' room on Friday nights casting silencing charms and talking. Talking for as along as much as they could before they fell asleep. Sometimes Teddy word bring his guitar and play James something he had been working on. Or they would sneak downstairs and James would teach teddy something on the piano.

There was never a dull moment. Especially not when they teased Albus or took Lilly out to the close by park.

Both boys however published or previewed by the socialism around them always knew the real them.

James knew the real Teddy and Teddy knew the real James.

And sometimes the only person you need to believe you is the one who knows you best.

---

James was good at hiding his feelings towards Teddy. He never really acted out too much and always knew what not to do after seeing Albus do exactly what you're not supposed to with his feelings towards Scorpius.

He stared very little and kept his blush internal. For most of it at least.

But when Teddy arrived at James' 18th birthday party with his hair dark blue almost black. With his ear pierced again, his eyebrow shaved a little near the end and a leather jacket on James couldn't control his eyes.

He scanned Teddy over at least 20 times before he accidentally dropped his cup and snapped out of it.

He looked good. So so good. Even more good than usual. And man was that saying something.

James had enough time to stare while his relatives made a large deal out of Teddy's new look.

"Close your mouth lover boy" Scorpius laughed walking past James, snapping him out of his second trance of staring at those ripped jeans.

"You know my boyfriend is right. You should stop staring before yours catches on" Albus rolled his eyes before smirking and dragging a giggling Scorpius to the kitchen.

James glared at where the younger boys once stood before going up to his room.

The party was practically over anyway and he's teddy was late but he couldn't be bothered to care.

Once he closed the door he clicked it locked and slid down against it sighing deeply.

He would thank everyone tomorrow for coming. Right now he was too dazed.

He placed his head in his hands and pulled his knees closer.

Teddy becoming even more attractive was not good for his already two-year strong crush. Teddy with his stupid smile and cute dimples. Teddy with his bad knock jokes and brilliant singing. Goddamnit could he be more perfect?

James groaned loudly.

"Knock knock"

Speak of the devil.

"Who's there" James smiled, opening the door slightly and walking away from it letting teddy enter himself.

"Me" The dark haired boy laughed.

"That's the worst one so far" James spoke raising an eyebrow at the boy leaning against his door frame.

"Nah I think I'm a great person to show up at someone's door. Especially yours" Teddy grinned showing his dimples.

"Yeah shut up" James smiled, falling backwards onto his bed.

"I'm sorry-"

"It's fine. You're always late." James sighed.

"Jamieeeee" teddy drawled walking over to the bed and leaning over to look James in the eyes.

"What is is bubble head?" James rolled his eyes and moved to the side of the bed.

"Pay attention to meet" Teddy spoke sitting down next to James.

James proceeded to ignore the dark haired boy. He couldn't trust himself, he knew that as soon as he looked into Teddy's eyes he would instantly forgive him. Or kiss him. Either way not good.

Teddy huffed and started to slightly poke and tickle James.

"Ted hehe Ted- stop haha Teddy" James laughed and squirmed finally turning around and laying close to Teddy. He took the blue haired boy's hands and looked him in the eye.

"Stop"

"Make me" Teddy challenged, raising an eyebrow.

"Maybe later" James rolled his eyes and turned onto his back.

He and Teddy stayed like that for a while. Maybe two minutes. It was too peaceful to interrupt. That was until Teddy suddenly got up and walked to the door.

James frowned but kept quiet.

Teddy walked outside James' room and brought back a bag

Overnight stuff okay.

Teddy then walked back out and brought in his guitar.

Obviousl

y, James thought

Hr expected teddy to walk back to the bed, force him up and make him set up or something but instead, teddy kept quiet and simply placed his things where they would normally go.

"Remember how you helped me play the piano," Teddy asked very suddenly

"Yeah, I've been showing you for a few months now. Why?" James responded sitting up.

"Come with me" Teddy smiled.

Despite what James had expected when they got downstairs a fee family members were still there. Still around 10 people.

"Teddy what's-"

"Just stay here I'll be right back" Teddy smiled quickly before running into the kitchen.

"Dad do you know what's up with Teddy," James asked walking over to his dad.

"No, but it seems Lily is in on it. She's been acting weird too" Harry squinted in his daughter's direction.

Teddy was there too. Whispering into her ear. She seemed to be focusing on his information quite a lot as well.

What on earth.

Teddy then quickly walked away and right back to James.

"Ted-"

"Let's go" Teddy quickly grabbed James' hand and he tried his best to look nonchalant about it.

Teddy pulled James into the study on the bottom floor where the bitters had an arrangement of bookcases, a record player, a small desk and their piano.

"Well, I've been practising" Teddy spoke letting go of James' hand and rubbing his neck.

"We couldn't wait till morning for -"

"I want to play you something"

"You need to stop cutting me off" James laughed "but go ahead then we're here now so might as well."

Teddy sat down in front of the piano and did a few chords as a warm up. James had positioned a chair right next to the piano and sat down with Teddy watching as he nervously placed his fingers down.

"Now I'm no James potter but this isn't that bad and"

"Just play"

That's exactly what he did.

The few notes were long and simple but teddy managed to keep in time as well.

"Won't you turn around and please look at me For everything we are, everything we've been I promise I'll be good if you stay with me

But everything we are, it just went away With the slide of a tongue and a sour taste I cannot recall, I can explain"

James was completely awestruck. Teddy's soft singing and great accompaniment. Everything just worked.

"But I remember the nights when you'd lie with me Where we'd talk and we'd touch and we'd fall asleep I wake up in your arms and I'd feel at ease

It's gonna be a long night"

The piano got a little bit more complicated here but teddy kept the pace and to be honest. James wouldn't even have realised that the piano was off if it was. He was too drawn into the playing.

So drawn in he didn't realise the rest of the family joining them inside.

Teddy was beyond nervous. He'd practised the song more times than he could remember all that he knew was that there's so way he could mess up. He couldn't allow himself. He wouldn't allow himself.

"I still have your shirt in my dresser drawer The one with the stripes that you liked in store Everything has changed, I wanted more"

Teddy continued playing and singing. Sneaking James a little smile every time he just played and didn't meet to sing. James was completely destroyed, falling more in love with every note played.

"Oh, it's gonna be a long night"

Teddy finished, playing the last new notes, looking towards his feet.

"So um" The dark haired boy paused "what did you think?"

"It was. I'm. Well. I." James stuttered "it was brilliant."

Teddy sighed in relief

"I mean it was about-"

"Well done lupin. Who knew you could impress us even more" Albus cut Teddy off with a smirk.

"Allll" Lily whined

"What I didn't do anything" he defended as Lily smacked him.

"Well done Teddy" Harry smiled and a chorus of agreement followed.

"Okay well it's about time we all head to bed" Ginny clapped her hands. Everyone left out the room saying goodbyes and apparating out of the house.

"I'll leave you to it then" Ginny smirked walking past Teddy. "Have fun boys and sleep well"

James blushed and looked away before muttering an incoherent "shut up"

As James and Teddy walked into James' room they heard Ginny once again. This time yelling a "not too much fun"

James swears he could sense Albus snorting at their mum and silently agreeing.

"Mum" he whined causing a laugh to be heard down the hallway.

They settled into James' room, Teddy flopping down onto the sleeper couch and sighed heavily.

"I was so scared of messing up"

"But you didn't"

"Yeah. I think I was just too commuted to mess up."

"Before Al interrupted. You said, were about to say- what the song was about."

"Oh. Yeah. Well, I found it and it just really summed up how I felt. Um about" Teddy trailed off

"About?"

"Well. You"

James' heart skipped a beat.

"What do you mean?"

Teddy got up and walked over to James who was still standing in the middle of the room.

"Exactly what I said. You. You and I. How we've become what we are. Who we are. How we've grown to become close" Teddy stepped closer to James "I don't know how or when. But you-you are just so much more to me than you can comprehend."

James' breath caught in his throat

"James. I know I'm giving you a lot of information and that this can be really awkward for you but I just want to say that I don't want this to be a burden or upset you so please just. Say something."

"Edward Remus Lupin do me a favour and shut up" James smiled flicking his eyes between Teddy's eyes and lips

Teddy snapped his mouth shut and looked down slightly at James.

"James-"

This time James cut Teddy off. He grabbed Teddy's shirt and pulled him closer, kissing him hard. Teddy's initial shock passed and he settled into James touch, placing his hands on the other boy's waist.

James moved his hand from Teddy's shirt and rested his arms on Teddy's shoulders.

"I told you to stop cutting me off that was your punishment,"  James smirked as he pulled away.

"If that's a punishment I'll take it any day" teddy grinned.

"Well I'll take you up on that" James muttered leaning in again.

"Mum they kissed" They heard Al yell from the other room

"That little bu-" James growled trying to pull away and chase after his brother but teddy stopped him by the hand pulling him back into his chest.

"Jamie they were bound to find out ignore Albus and kiss me again."

James looked to the door for a second before turning back to Teddy. He rolled his eyes and cast a silencing charm

"Fair point"

A/n this is so long wtf

[juniperallura]

Voltron Hogwarts AU

part 9/?

“Goodnight, Allura-” Shiro smiled as she trotted up the girl’s dormitory steps, turning to give him a wave before disappearing. It was only their second study session, but they already felt like they had been friends for weeks; in fact, they had spent so much time talking that Shiro still had a lot of work to do. He dropped into one of the cushy armchairs that littered the common room, sighing contentedly.

“Where’ve you been?”

Shiro gasped, his heart nearly leaping out of his chest when hands came down on his shoulders and a voice sounded suddenly next to his ear. 

“Matt!” Shiro cried, swatting at his friend, who scrambled to perch on the arm of Shiro’s chair.

“Did I scare you?” Matt grinned. “What’s up? I thought you only had class until four on Thursdays.”

“I was just studying,” Shiro shrugged, fishing in his bag for a fresh piece of parchment. 

Matt slid off the chair, moving to an ottoman facing Shiro. “Just studying?” He raised his brow, “So mysterious, Shiro. With who?” Shiro didn’t say anything, but Matt’s eyes flickered to the girl’s dormitory staircase. His eyes widened, as if he was just realizing who Shiro had walked in with. “Allura? Alfor’s daughter? Do you even talk to her? Does anyone even talk to her?” 

For some reason, Matt’s questions made Shiro evasive, defensive. “Obviously, yeah, I talk to her. We’re just in the same Potions class.”

A mischievous smile pulled at Matt’s face. He sat forward, “Wait, do you- y’know, like her?

“No, dude!” Shiro scowled, glad his face was staying a normal color. “We’re friends. Lay off.”

“Since when?” Matt raised a brow, but without waiting for an answer continued, “Is she really as stuck up as people say? I heard from Mitch Fitzgera-”

“-Mitch Fitzgerald is a dumbass,” Shiro interrupted, “So who cares? Do you like her or something?”

That got Matt to shut up. “Whatever,” he said, grinning so Shiro would smile too. “Anyway, did you hear what happened in Professor Santos’ class-”

“-Matt!” 

Matt pushed off the tree he had been leaning against, shifting his broom into the other hand to wave at the figure that approached the Castle entrance.

Scratch that- figures. 

Matt frowned. As they picked their way down the sloping grounds, he could more clearly make out Shiro’s mop of black hair and the girl with the silver ponytail that swung beside him. He tried not to scowl. 

Allura smiled at him, but he turned and fell into step just ahead of them. Shiro jogged up a couple steps to come right behind Matt’s shoulder. “Sorry that took awhile, you weren’t waiting too long, right?”

Matt shrugged, not looking back at his friend. “It’s fine. I just didn’t realize she was coming,” he said, his tone nonchalant. 

“Oh-” Shiro leaned forward, trying to get a better read on Matt’s expression. “I figured you wouldn’t mind-”

“-I don’t care, I just didn’t think she would be into Quidditch. ‘Cause you guys are always just studying or whatever.”

Behind him, Shiro and Allura exchanged glances. There was silence, neither of them sure how to react. After a minute Allura cleared her throat, venturing, “Yeah- actually, I want to try out for Keeper, maybe.”

Shiro nudged Matt, giving him a prompting smile. “Think about next year, huh? You’re Seeker, I’m Chaser, Allura’s Keeper? We’d be unstoppable.”

Matt’s expression was frozen for a second, but he broke into a smile and pushed back against Shiro’s shoulder. “We’d snatch that Cup right from under Slytherin’s nose.”

The trio broke into chuckles as they continued on toward the training pitch.

Matt pressed his finger against the curve of his spoon, absently watching the handle bob up and down. His stomach growled, reminding him that he’d been sitting in the Great Hall for nearly fifteen minutes. He glanced over at the doorway. Nothing. 

He was beginning to consider taking a fork to his eye when a small paper crane flapped right into his face and fell onto his empty plate. It unfolded to reveal a slanted scrawl that read, “Not done yet. Eat without me. Sorry! -Shiro.”

Matt rolled his eyes, shoving his hand into his bag to fish for a quill. On the back of Shiro’s note he scrawled the symbol most universally acknowledged by mankind; a dick. No further explanation required. With a smug smile Matt folded the paper into an airplane and tossed it into the air so it could zoom back to the library. 

Of course, Matt Holt never had such luck. The plane flew past the Gryffindor table and directly into the broad chest of Professor Iverson. To Matt’s horror, Iverson immediately opened the note and looked directly at him with stern eyes. Matt braced himself for what would come next. “Holt-!”

When the Fat Lady closed behind him with a low thud, Matt found Shiro still awake, reading in an armchair. Part of Matt wanted to sneak up to the boy’s dorm unnoticed, but Shiro looked up and called to him.

“Hey, where have you been?” Shiro sat up in his chair but Matt didn’t join him.

“Oh, just, y’know, cleaning the trophy case,” Matt shrugged, “With Iverson. For two hours. The usual.”

“What?” Shiro’s brow knit, “Why?”

“Because I just love dusting, Shiro,” Matt rolled his eyes, throwing up a hand. Normally he would have checked his tone, especially with his best friend, but his exhaustion got the better of him. “I got detention. For passing notes, because somebody couldn’t just come to the Great Hall to tell me he was ditching me. Again.”

Shiro blinked, making that stupid surprised face he always got when someone accused him of something. “Detention? How is that my fault? I told you, Allura and I have a quiz-”

“You always have a quiz! Or a test, or a paper, or something. Like I don’t know how to do homework, like I’m only good enough when you need another Quidditch buddy-” Matt’s face was getting redder by the second. He hadn’t really meant to say any of it, but once it started pouring out he couldn’t seem to stop. “We’ve barely hung out all quarter, because apparently our plans are never as good as whatever you’ve got going with her.”

“Allura has nothing to do with this!” Shiro glared at him with crossed arms, eyes flashing. “You’re just mad because I didn’t want to die in the Forbidden Forest with you and Ravi, because I’m not an idiot.”

A sharp puff of air blew from Matt’s nostrils. “You know what? Fine. I hope you and Allura have a great time kissing Alfor’s ass. Maybe if you suck up to her enough you can win back the points I lost because of your stupid note.”

The only sounds that came next were the thump of Shiro’s back hitting the chair and the slam of the boy’s dormitory door. 

They made up two days later, sitting awkwardly on the edge of Matt’s bed, but not before more hurtful words had been thrown around. It had been about a week since then, and every day they were increasingly relieved to put more time between them and those forty eight hours of sullen silence. Matt could count the number of fights they’d had on one hand, but each one was a rather painful memory.

Now he found himself again in the Great Hall, approaching the Gryffindor table. He steeled himself with a sigh and marched over to where a silver head was bent over a spell book.

He decided it was better to ask for forgiveness than permission and sat across from Allura without prompting. “Hey.”

She looked up, obviously startled. “Hi, Matt.” Her eyes flickered from him to the empty seats around them, as if waiting for him to realize he had sat in the wrong place. She cleared her throat. “Um, I don’t know where Shiro is, if that’s-”

“Oh, no, I know-” Matt tried not to wince at the unbearable awkwardness. His fingertips tapped against the tabletop, his gaze meeting Allura’s tentatively. “Well, I know where he is, actually. It’s kinda funny-” A smile, like a peace offering, tugged at the corners of his lips. He sucked in a breath, leaning a little closer over the table. Allura raised a brow, but slowly closed her book and met his eyes. “-Do you know Emma Rossey?”

“The scary Slytherin with the ears? Yeah, everyone knows her.” Something like a smile played over her lips.

Matt’s expression brightened. He leaned further in, voice low and scheming. “I have on good authority that at this very moment, she is asking Shiro out on the moving staircases.”

Allura’s lip dropped. “Shiro? Like- Shiro?”

Matt nodded. “Yep. Our Shiro.”

Our Shiro. Allura’s smile widened. “Wow. Emma Rossey. So she trapped him on the staircase? That sounds about right. Bet he got his foot stuck in that hole, near the-”

“-The Pegasus lady? Definitely,” Matt snorted. 

Allura got a mischievous glint in her eye as she whispered, “Y’know, I bet she planned it so she could get to him before Eva. I heard her plotting about it the other night in the girl’s dormitory...”

When Shiro arrived at the Great Hall a few minutes later, beet red and agitated, he was relieved at first to see his two friends sitting together, chatting and laughing. It was only when he walked up to the table and saw the devious looks on their faces that he realized he might have created a monster.