#he’d totally be a huge gym bro

[sejarcus-archive]

My public service announcement of the day is that modern au Coriolanus would be a gym bro

[salmonskinrolltf]

Soulmates 2

[Here's a sequel of sorts to my previous story Soulmates (you don't need to have read it to understand this story). With thanks to @guytransformedforever, @beardobession, @tf-vigilante, @maletransformationlover, @clevertreephilosopher, @scorpionofredsand, and @maletffanatic for providing the photos used as inspiration.]

Hello, my name is Tyler. This is me:

And this is my roommate, Dylan:

Now look, I don’t have a problem with gay people. My cousin is a lesbian. And Dylan is a great roommate. Stays out of my way when we’re not gymming together, but is always down to hang when I need someone to talk to. I just wish he would be less in my face with all his gay shit. Rainbow flags everywhere, blasting Ariana Grande at all hours, constantly bringing new Grindr hookups back to the apartment but giving me side-eye when I ogle women. It’s just… too much for me.

Here’s the thing. I might actually be able to change that. I have this friend Evan, who I’ve wingmanned for on a few occasions over the past year. One night, when we were getting drunk together, he shared his secret with me. He has a magic gift. He clasped my hand and said “tomorrow, you will wake up and have this magic too.” And sure enough, the next day I could feel a tingle coursing through my veins, and I automatically had the knowledge of how to channel it.

Now I have the ability to change somebody’s future. I can’t fiddle with anything that’s innate or has already happened to them. Like, I can’t just make Dylan straight. But I can shape his future decisions or actions, and my magic will make alterations to speed the process along. Like if I made him decide to work out more, he would basically become a muscle beast within the week. Not that I’d do that. I still gotta be the alpha here. I just want to make him a little more… palatable. Someone cool to kick back with all the time, even if he sucks dick. Let’s see... I think I know what will work.

TOMORROW, DYLAN WILL BECOME OBSESSED WITH SPORTS

———————————

Hello, my name is Dylan:

Sports are my LIFE. I never cared about them much growing up, but about a month ago I felt the urge to join my local queer volleyball team and never looked back. It became my everything. It’s been great exercise, but on top of playing volleyball and getting totally jacked off of it, I’ve loved the sense of camaraderie. I love my team. So much so that I even pierced my nipples on a dare when we lost the semifinals. My teammate River also recommended I stop dyeing my hair, and I think the look is really working for me. For some reason, even though it’s only been a month, my hair has grown out significantly since then. Was the red dye stunting its growth or something? Anyway. I also feel like my roommate Tyler and I have really bonded. We’ve been watching baseball games together and I think he appreciates how into it I am. He says he’s excited to bro out while watching football together in the fall.

I love Tyler, but here’s the thing. Maybe I love him too much. I’ve always had this huge crush on him, and no matter how many random Grindr hookups I try to distract myself with, I just can’t stop hoping that one day he’ll give up women for good and decide he loves me. Especially now that we’re spending all this time together, bumping chests when our team wins and shit.

I know us getting together is never going to happen, but I have this… temptation. I was born with a gift. Or maybe I wasn’t. Something my twink friend Paul told me made me think maybe he had something to do with it. Anyway, I have the ability to reshape someone’s past. I change just one thing about their past, and everything about their present just ripples forward to reflect that change. It’s a delicate art. Changing something big can have huge effects that are totally unpredictable. It’s a major temptation to make Tyler gay, but who knows how he’d turn out. Plus, I think that’s just too invasive.

But… Maybe I could change something small about him. Something that would make him less my type, and allow me to move on and focus on finding a boyfriend who would actually be into me. I’m into nice guys. I really love how kind and caring he is. And come on, he’s a FIREFIGHTER. So maybe I can try…

TYLER GREW UP SELFISH AND SPOILED

———————————

What’s up, I’m Tyler.

You dig the jacket? Yeah, I’m still a firefighter, I’m just off duty. But babes dig whatever look I rock, you know what I mean? I get what I want, and what I want is a lot of one night stands. I know how to get ‘em, too. I’m so glad I made the decision to grow this beard out a year ago, it’s opened so many doors for me. And opened a lot of legs.

I’m getting what I want from Dylan, too. Finally, I have a roommate who’s willing to grab brews and watch the game with me. But I think I fucked up when I changed him. Queer volleyball isn’t exactly “sports,” at least not in my book. I thought he’d come out like a linebacker or something! I mean, nipple rings were never part of the plan. The gay guys seem to really go for them, too, so he’s got an even steadier stream of Grindr hookups coming in and out of the place.

On top of that, I’m a little sick of his shit. He’s always giving me lip about stupid stuff like leaving my dishes in the sink or dropping my unwashed uniform on the bathroom floor. He says it’s unsanitary. Like his parade of twinks aren’t dying to sniff that shit anyway. He just doesn’t get it. I think his volleyball teammates are a bad influence too. They’re all so obsessed with aesthetic and anti-hetero rhetoric. I still can’t make him straight, but I can definitely make him less… annoying.

TOMORROW, DYLAN WILL START HANGING OUT WITH MORE STRAIGHT PEOPLE WHO WILL HELP HIM STOP WORRYING ABOUT STUPID SHIT AND BE LESS PRISSY, WELL-GROOMED, AND UPTIGHT

———————————

Yo, I’m Dylan.

Yeah, I cut my hair shorter than the last time you saw me. The upkeep was just getting to be too much, y’know? A couple weeks ago, about the time I dumped that lame-ass volleyball team I was on, I just got bored with shaving every day, too. I invested in a trimmer and now I rock the stubble look, and it’s working for me. I’ve gained a bit of weight since then, and it’s all for the better because I joined my local football league. Having a few extra beers with my new buds afterward just adds to my potential as a linebacker, anyway.

I thought hanging out with more straight people would make me get used to their vibe and kinda inoculate me against Tyler, but I’m still totally obsessed with him. He’s more of a bad boy now, but I’m finding that less unappealing than I used to. Plus, he’s still parading around in his uniform all the time. I can’t help it! I’ve jerked off more times that I can count to his Mr. June photos in the local firefighter calendar.

Whenever I see his mom, she’s constantly going on about how, out of all his Tonka toys growing up, the fire truck was always his favorite. She thinks that’s why he grew up to be a firefighter. Maybe I can change that core memory into something a little more… disreputable. That would definitely make him not my type anymore. I hope.

TYLER’S FAVORITE TOY GROWING UP WAS A TONKA MOTORCYCLE

———————————

Fuckin’ A, man, I’m Tyler.

God, I love my hog. She’s a beaut, ain’t she? My parents wanted me to grow up to be a doctor or a lawyer or a firefighter or some shit, but all I ever wanted to do was ride my hog. Chicks want to ride my hog too, and I let them. As long as they don’t go near my bike! Hahaha, get it? Fuck, I love life. Let me take another drag on this stogie real quick.

Where was I? Oh yeah, my roommate, Dylan. I wish I didn’t have to room with anyone, but my boss at the garage keeps refusing to promote me. I should knock him around one of these days, see if that changes his mind. Anyway, sure, Dylan isn’t so much of a priss anymore. He doesn’t give me shit if I leave my grease-stained clothes on the couch or light up when we’re watching a football game.

But I wanted him to be straight-acting, you know? I tried to train him up as my wingman but he wore a super gay shirt with all these see-through holes to the party, and all the chicks kept their eyes on him the whole time! Fucker. Why can’t he be more like his brother? I’ve seen pictures. That dude is a full on redneck slob, got a Confederate tattoo and everything. I know they had the same backwater-ass trailer trash upbringing, why can’t he be rougher around the edges? You know what… maybe he can!

TOMORROW, DYLAN WILL REALIZE HE WANTS TO EMBRACE HIS WHITE TRASH UPBRINGING

———————————

Hey y’all, I’m Dylan.

Hoo-ee, life has been good lately. I dunno why I resisted my good ol’ boy roots for so long. This goatee really makes me look rugged, dunnit? Also the chest hair. So grabbable. I decided to stop shaving my body, and poof! There it went. A full rug, within like two days I reckon. Like a sign from God. This is how I was always meant to be.

I know I was trying to push away my crush on Tyler by making him not my type, but what’s the fuckin’ point? I need someone who can handle me, and this hot as fuck biker dude I’ve created might be the only one who can handle me at this point. I ride ‘em rough and bareback, just like the horses back home, and weak city dudes just can’t handle it.

Will he be the same if he’s not straight? Maybe not. But as long as he can take my eight inches, I’ll keep him around. I vaguely remember having some sort of compunction about changing him so drastically, but I’m too horny to remember what it was.

Fuck it.

TYLER WAS BORN GAY

———————————

Uh… hi. I’m Tyler. Who are you again?

Sorry, I’m pretty forgetful. Daddy Dylan says I don’t gotta remember shit though, as long as I let him ride me as rough and as long as he likes. He’ll do all the rest for me. He tells me where to go, what to do, who to do. There are so many nice, hot guys who are willing to pay our rent if I turn a few tricks. I love it.

I’ve been like this as long as I can remember. My mom and dad kicked me out when I was 18, in my senior year of high school. I was caught sucking my English teacher’s dick behind the locker rooms. I never went to college after that, but it’s not like I was getting good grades anyway. Sucking Mr. Brentmon’s cock wasn’t for my health, you know. He had a nice juicy one, too. I still dream about it sometimes.

What was I saying? Oh yeah, I took up with this biker gang for a while after getting kicked out. I’ve always had a thing for bikers. But once they got through using my ass, they got bored. It was hard for a while, but now things are oh, so easy. I get all the dick I could ever want. I have a roof over my head, and no job to worry about. All I do is go to the gym and eat and fuck and I never have to think. Dylan said he might take me out muddin’ sometime too. I don’t know what that is, but anything Dylan does is fun. Fuck, I love the way his goatee tickles my skin when he kisses me, so rough, so manly. Way manlier than I’ve ever been. It’s so fucking hot. I love how he takes care of me.

I really have no complaints. I wouldn’t change anything about my life, even if I could remember how…

[eli0004]

since you don't do sub content, could you do something fluffy with jean? anything if you want

Anon, your wish is my command! 🖤

Dating Jean Kirstein-

Synopsis: Headcannons for a Modern AU! Version of your favorite horse boy (Fem!reader)

Rating: SFW

Warnings: one slightly suggestive hc, implied body image issues, jean has a history of toxic relationships

Ok, so first of all, Jean isn’t your typical boyfriend. He’s boyfriend: Feminist Edition✨ and body positivity king, hello?

He’s also, as we all know, a huge simp. This man will do anything for his woman

Because of that, he’s had a few really shitty relationships where he was badly taken advantage of, and he always vows to really assess a person’s green AND red flags before proceeding.

It never works out that way, obviously. Bro wouldn’t know a red flag if you shoved it up his ass 🚩. He sees a pretty girl and is suddenly color blind.

Because of his history in that aspect, when you first confess your feelings to each other he’s absolutely terrified that it’s one big joke, or destined to fail.

But as you both get closer, he lets his gaurd down, and bro is down so bad.

You say “jump” an jean says “how high”

He is 110% that guy who notices everything you do with your appearance, but that’s also just because he doesn’t understand the whole “it’s not polite to stare” thing.

Jean when you do literally anything: 👁️👄👁️

He’s a gym bro, change my mind (you can’t 😈)

If you’re insecure Jean is one of those guys that will ask you how much you weigh, and you’ll be like “damn that’s really icky and disrespectful” until you see him placing that exact amount of weight on the bench.

He’s like “see, you’re not too heavy for me” wink wink

He’s so endearingly stupid

This man will worship every curve you’ve got on you.

If you’re not insecure tho, Jean will hype you tf up when you’re feeling confident

“Hell yeah, look at that ass babe!” *smack*

Either way he’s obsessed with you, regardless of what your body looks like or whether or not you like it.

Modern Jean 100% has a minor Fratccent from his college years.

Once or twice, he will accidentally call you bro, but he’ll be so apologetic TT you can’t even be upset.

He’s the type of guy that will walk around with his hand on your ass instead of your waist if you’re ok with that

His shit eating grin when someone mentions it, he’s like 😏😏😏

Scratch his head with your nails, DO IT

This man will be snoring immediately, it’s his favorite way to fall asleep.

I’m also a firm believer that modern!jean is not a natural blonde, so from time to time he’ll let you put streaks of vivid color in it, bonus points if you match with him

He’s actually a pretty good cook, so when you’re feeling homesick he’ll prepare your comfort meals for you

His love languages are physical touch, and words of affirmation. Jean will actually spontaneously combust if you compliment his biceps or tell him he has pretty eyes

He’s also totally comfortable with his masculinity so he’d be thrilled to be involved in your skincare routine, do face masks, let you clean up his brows, put makeup on him etc etc.

In fact, if you’ve had a hard week, he’d be the one to come home with a bottle of wine, face masks, nail polish and snacks. Top tier self care night, would sit on the couch with you and all your plushies and watch love island or something 😭

He gets so into the drama, it’s actually hilarious. By the end of it he’s rolling his eyes and trash talking at the tv

Will get wine drunk and dance in the living room with you

Honestly, we all just need to get ourselves a Jean. 😔💞

[mister-ious]

Simon ‘Ghost’ Riley at the Gym headcanons:

Nsfw mdni thx

Fuuuuuckkkkk Ghost at the gym getting pumped and his muscles bulging out of his fitted black tee, flexing and stretching while he lifts and pushes. He would grunt and groan at the very last few reps of his sets and he’d try to keep his face from contorting, just letting his eyes squint and keeping a little frown or pursing his lips.

Ghost’s tee would be damp with sweat and would cling to every groove and crevice of his muscles like a fucking glove. And fuuuck his scent.. He’d smell sooo good. Just the thought of his musk just emanating from his dirty post-gym clothing makes me feral… putting me back in a primitive state its not even funny bro.

He’d probably spend just over an hour working out. He also probably prefers calisthenics over weights for the convenience, so he’d know all these tricks, AND it would one of the reasons why he’s able to soundlessly slither around and through environments: excellent balance.

And when he does use weights, he’s more likely to use equipment like a benchpress/leg-presssince it would train both limbs at the same time so that it’s more efficient—minmaxing gym routine.

When he’s not able to go to the gym he’d workout at home/at the barracks using whatever furniture is available. If he’s at the barracks, Soap would probably join him if Soap randomly witnesses it.

Also if he’s using the gym at the military he’d put on a black surgical mask, but, if he’s not and is using a normal gym he’d go mask-off.

Ghost wouldn’t be super lean since he doesn’t give that much of a fuck about his diet. Like, he’d care about getting all of his nutrients but he wouldn’t be much of a protein fiend. He’s a big muscular man, not an instagram gym influencer.

Like that popular hc, he wouldn’t listen to music at the gym BUUUT i feel like he would keep a pair of headphones on to muffle the outside noise. He wants total silence while working out, like a weirdo. Ghost would also carry those gallon sized water bottles with him to the gym.

After his workout, he’d take an agonising cold shower—he’d poker-face through it though as if it was a normal temperature-d shower. He’d take around 25 minutes since he’s a big man with big limbs and a big body to clean. Usually, Ghost would exercise in the early hours of the morning so after his workout, he’d eat.

Ghost would probably make something Huge. Maybe a pot of slop: anything he could get his hands on in his pantry and fridge and just plopped them in a pot on some heat. Or something like a girthy breakfast burrito.

Fuuuck it’d also be nice if Ghost happened to have taken an interest in rock-climbing. I think he’d like it since there are probably similar drills to rock-climbing in his military training. So fucking hot to imagine him just scanning this wall and immediately finding the most optimal way to climb to the top. You’ll see his biceps flex and his triceps form dimples fuck

Reader-insert/nsfw part:

There would be some times where he’d get extremely horny after gym and would immediately rush back home. His cock erect, creating a tent in his sweats as he drives. He couldn’t wait so he’d pullover to some indoor parking lot and palm his swollen dick, slowly taking off his pants and briefs. He pumps his hand slowly up and down his thick length, imagining you in between his legs, kneeling down and looking up at him with those big eyes of yours.

He’d shudder at the thought of it. His dick twitching in his hand as he fucks it faster. Shaky sighs turn into grunts, grunts turn into groans, and groans turn into growls. Fuck, he’s so close.

“Fuck, love,” he hisses, thrusting into his hand as he tightens his grip.

“Ah..!” He spurts opaque ribbons onto his steering wheel and pants, gasping and writhing in his seat as his cock spasms out the last few drops, gushing down to his balls.

“Fuck.”

[maxdibert]

i want to know what do you think about Remus since you already talk about James and Sirius i really need to know :3

When someone puts a big topic on the table, in Spain we say: sujétame la cerveza lol So yeah, Lupin is one of THAT topics. Here we go:

Look, I can deal with Remus Lupin having literally zero self-esteem and a massive inferiority complex, and for that reason using Sirius and James as his safety net at Hogwarts, not stopping them when they were complete jerks because he was afraid they'd reject him and he’d end up alone. I can deal with that, I can excuse being an accomplice to bullying just like I can excuse Severus for getting involved with the Death Eaters because he saw himself as vulnerable. I forgive him, seriously. I can even forgive him for being an absolutely irresponsible adult and not taking his potion—Merlin knows why. I can let that slide too. But there are two things I can’t let slide.

The first, and less important one, is that he justified James’ actions to Harry. I mean, it's the least important because I can understand not wanting to tarnish the kid’s image of his father, but when the same kid is telling you that his father and his friends (including you) were assholes, maybe you should admit that you were a total jerk. Or that at least your friends were, and you did nothing. I get why Sirius denied his guilt because, well, Sirius Black. Like, what are you going to expect from him? To him, there was nothing wrong with it. But Remus was aware that it was wrong, and as an adult, he can admit it. You don’t have to make up some story about Snape envying James over Quidditch (lolololol like Severus Snape would remotely care about that gym-bro crap). But anyway, I see this as almost the least serious thing.

What I will never, ever forgive him for in my entire fucking life is that at 36/37 years old, with gray hair already down there, HE WAS ALMOST FORTY YEARS OLD, PEOPLE, he got a woman in her twenties pregnant, had an existential crisis, and was considering leaving her WHILE SHE WAS PREGNANT WITH HIS CHILD. WHAT IS HE DOING?? Like, I don’t even know how to express this in English because my language is Spanish, and I swear I have a ton of adjectives in that language to insult this man, but in English, it’s harder—but hello?? He was ALMOST FORTY YEARS OLD, HIS WIFE WAS TWENTY-FIVE, HE SLEPT WITH HER, GOT HER PREGNANT, AND LEFT??? HOW IS THAT EVEN POSSIBLE, REMUS LUPIN?? WHAT’S IN YOUR HEAD?? Like, if he was so terrified of passing on lycanthropy to the child, why didn’t he use a condom?? Or, I don’t know, the magical equivalent—HAVE YOU HEARD OF A VASECTOMY?? And if he really, truly felt so bad about impregnating A WOMAN IN HER TWENTIES—LIKE SERIOUSLY, LET'S PUT THIS IN PERSPECTIVE: SOMEONE THIRTEEN YEARS YOUNGER THAN HIM. THIRTEEN. DAMN. YEARS. Why didn’t he just NOT DO IT? Like, as the adult in the relationship, he could’ve genuinely said no. No, this is unacceptable. No. No, sorry. So many years of gender studies and feminist readings for this. SCREW THE NICE GUYS. Like, his whole “woe is me, I’m poor, I’m old, I’m ugly, I’m dangerous” schtick? Well, you should have gone off to Timbuktu then, but don’t get her pregnant only to then abandon her. A TEENAGER HAD TO GO. A TEEN-AGER had to tell him he was being a piece of shit. This is why I say Rowling doesn’t respect her female characters because if she really did, she would have had Tonks dump him and raise the child on her own because, seriously, what was she thinking?

Just talking about this makes me genuinely angry. It's just that Lupin is THAT KIND OF GUY, you know? The one who acts all nice and soft and like he’s never broken a plate in his life, and he’s all poor me, and I’m super nice and super sweet, but then he turns out to be a huge jerk, like a giant piece of work. He’s the textbook nice guy, and one of the worst, the kind who goes after young women. Look, I’m just saying that if Harry Potter were written today and the topic of Lupin came up, and Rowling didn’t condemn him to the stake in her books, she would have been canceled a long time ago. Seriously. There’s no way that in today’s fiction a man nearly 40 years old gets a twenty-something pregnant and threatens to leave her, and that this guy is seen positively by the narrative. Simply no. Canceled. I’m canceling you, Remus Lupin, not for myself, but for feminism. Thanks.

[old-fashioned21]

Songbird

(Inspired by Charlie Williams and his amazing singing voice: https://www.instagram.com/p/BFCC107G4Rp/?igshid=YmMyMTA2M2Y=) You’re finishing up at the gym late one night, and you hear this absolute angel signing from somewhere in the locker room. You turn the corner and this huge, broad stud is the songbird, casually posing in the mirrors.

He stops his angelic singing when he notices you and almost… blushes. You can’t believe such a densely muscled stud is actually blushing.

“Sorry dude… didn’t think anyone was here…” he says, his soft deep speaking voice almost as beautiful as his singing voice.

“It’s uhh… don’t… it’s… gorgeous…” you stammer, your mind unable to process the fact that such a beautiful voice could come from such a hard, powerful body. The short stud chuckles.

“Thanks, bro,” he says, avoiding eye contact and quickly leaving the locker room. Despite his massive proportions, he moves with an uncanny grace, as if he’d lived an entire other life as a famous dancer.

From that moment, you’re at the gym every night at closing, hoping to see and hear more of this perfect angel. For weeks… months even, you keep going, night after night, the image and sound of that incredible stud your singular focus.

One day, as you head to the locker room drenched in sweat, you stop suddenly. That voice… You’d almost—almost—forgotten about him. But you knew it was him. His spectacular tenor winding around an unfamiliar, plaintive melody. You turn the corner, your body tingling with anticipation. There he is. The angel. He notices you, but keeps singing for a few seconds, smiling as his hazel eyes meet yours. He stops, his perfect voice echoing in the tiled room.

“Damn dude, you’re jacked now!” He says excitedly, striding toward you. The statement catches you off guard, but at that moment, it’s like you snap out of a fog and see yourself in the mirror for the first time in months. You’re ripped and gorgeous. When did this happen? The shorter stud chuckles, now just inches away from you. “My first little gift to you,” he says gently, his massive hands casually caressing your hard earned muscles.

“Gift?” you ask, totally confused. He steps back and subtly spreads his massive arms. After a few seconds, you notice his clothes… morphing… stretching over his massive body. The result is a skintight, dark blue spandex suit that covers him from ankle to neck, leaving only his feet and head bare. He winks, and suddenly his feet leave the ground. You gasp in absolute shock and arousal, unable to believe what you’re seeing. ‘Who is this… what is he…?’ you think.

“You can call me Charlie, and I’m a god,” he says cheerfully and simply. He hovers closer to you and you feel yourself lifted into the air as he wraps his enormous arms around yours. You cum instantly at the contact. “Hehe, we’re gonna have fun,” he says with a cocky grin.

[the-fandom-fuckup]

A bit more for that modern fantasy au I teased a bit ago

Character designs n stuff are slightly based off the official halloween n fantasy ending arts, plus whatever else I wanted to do, so Kiri is a dragon shifter here, Baku is a werewolf, n Ochako is a witch.

There'll probably be a hint of a/b/o dynamics here for weres n shifters, n the idea of alpha!Kiri n alpha!Baku has stuck to me like glue, so that's a thing here also

There's no real plot for this, just these three being dumb n pining, and everyone around them rolling their eyes n dealing with it lmao

I've thought about jobs n first meetings tho, n came up with this. Kiri's a firefighter (along with Tetsu, who is also a dragon shifter, bc I love him and their bro-bond), bc big fire resistent boy running into fires to help people just makes sense. Also I really like the thought of him in the uniform

Ochako works as a self defense instructor with Gunhead at a small gym in town, probably helping people with magic items n stuff on the side for extra cash or smth, I dunno. She might wanna move into a more magically dominant field one day, but she likes the environment of the gym n the regulars that come in n chat between classes. She's also very good at what she does n has put many assholes in their place after they've scoffed at "the cute little girl you have here".

Baku is a "park ranger", n I use quotations bc that's the only title he could really give himself to have any authority over the land he owns. He gives himself more leeway than what some laws may grant, tho tbh if you're coming into his territory with intent to harm those in it, you're lucky to walk away at all just sayin'

He runs an escape park of sorts for weres n shifters to run around during full moons and other times they need to shed their human skin, personally owned so he can avoid all the bullshit regulations n "safety procedures" found in bigger places that try offering the same thing, but ultimately make the shifting process shittier than it needs to be. And words gets around so it gets super popular super fast, n people of all ages come by

Tbh the thought of a teeny tiny wolf, like 10y/o at most running around Baku n trying to get him to play, nipping at his ankles n calling him the pack alpha is really what settled the debate on whether he should be an alpha or omega. And the added image of Baku rolling his eyes n putting on his toughass act but not really minding it as he gets them moving with a tap on the ass, muttering "Fuckin told ya squirt, I'm not your pack alpha. Now find someone else's ankles to bite at, I'm busy", makes me feel really nice

For some first meetings, tbh Kiribaku probably happens first, n they meet when Kiri n Tetsu accidentally trespass on Baku's territory bc they're new to the area n found a big ass lake to soak in during a flight over town, like dude!! Fuck yea that could fit both of us easy, man I haven't soaked in my big form in forever lets go!

And ofc if the giant shadows overhead hadn't tipped him off the security sensors would've so Baku's like who in the FUCK!! N storms off to confront them bc you don't just come on his land like that. That's how people get fucking hurt you dumb assholes 😤😤

N Kiri n Tetsu are mostly just minding their own business, settling down into the lake like aw yea that's the shit, almost passing out bc they'd just had a long day n the water was so cool n the fish eatting the dead skin n shit off their scales was so relaxing. They don't even realise they'd drifted into a light doze when they hear furious snarling n harsh sniffing coming their way, n barely have enough time to get up before Baku comes tearing shit through the trees

And like. Kiri n Tetsu know that they're big boys. Their full sized dragon forms are huge n there's not much out there that scares them, but nobody likes coming face to face with a snarling werewolf, standing in their territory without any warning that you maybe shouldn't be there

Despite the hostile intro, it doesn't take much for the misunderatanding to be cleared up. There's a lot of apologies from Kiri n Tetsu n a lot of irritated snorts from Baku, but they get straightened out. Baku tells them what kinda show he's running n Kiri inatantly get sparkly eyes like dude!! You do that all by yourself?! That's so manly bro you gotta let us help with that

Baku snorts like you don't have to make empty offers if you wanna use the grounds, I don't refuse people unless they pose an actual threat to the others. You guys aren't dangerous, just stupid. N Kiri goes hey rude, but also it's gotta be a lot dealing with all that on your own. We can at least watch out from above, keep an eye on shit or whatever bc face it man, you may be great but even you can't be in multiple places at once.

And the only reason Baku ends up agreeing is bc they pester him about it until he's well past irritated, n he's figured out the only way to shut them up was concede. They can't be there fulltime anyway consudering their professions, but they're sure to help when they can

Kirichako meet at the gym. Kiri's buying a membership or smth bc you gotta keep the stength up bro! Can't be slacking when you're the difference between someone living n someong dying y'know? Ochako's either in a class or dealing with some hothead, her furrowed brows n puffed cheeks distracting Kiri n reminding him of a chipmunk before bud says smth he can't hear but has Ochako seeing red. It doesn't take long for him to end up on his ass n Kiri's just stuck watching, jaw dropped n heart eyes as Ochako tells the guy he can either fix his attitude or find somewhere else to go

Kiri turns to Tetsu like dude holy shit did you see that?? N Tetsu's like yea bro everyone saw it, n Ochako comes up to them like sorry about that. We have a no harassment policy here that some people overstep, n it sucks that we get people coming in that need it enforced but unfortunately it's pretty common.

Then, bc she's still a bit sour, she looks them both dead in the eyes with a fire raging behind hers like if that's not smth you think you can handle then you might as well save us all the hassle n leave now. N they're both like no way that was great, totally understandable, just tell us where to sign

And while she came off as kinda aggressive during their initial meet, Kiri's quick to find she has just as much sweetness to match her bite. He watches her between sets sometimes n sees how kind n gentle she can be with the younger classes that come in, how she doesn't single out people who struggle n instead moves to help n provide tips without making a huge deal of it

She's also one of the first people to come running when someone gets hurt, he finds out. He'd admittedly been more focused on her sparring with Gunhead than he'd been on the super heavy equipment he was using for his reps, n managed to look over at the perfect time to get flustered n drop it directly on his foot. The resounding crack was loud enough to catch quite a bit of attention, tho he knows the equipment is more likely to be damaged than his foot

Ochako doesn't even hesitate to run over n levitate him to take the pressure off of his not broken foot, going "oh my god are you okay?? Someone clear that bench please, he needs to get off his feet now!" N Kiri does appreciate the concern, as embarassing as it may be, n tries to tell her it's really not a big deal, thanks for the help but honestly--

N she rounds on him like say that one more time n you'll be dealing with a broken nose instead, now sit your ass down n let me handle this!! Kiri can't even reply with anything other than a quiet okay😳😳 bc he's always thought her determination was super admirable, but being this close n seeing it burn in her eyes so intensely is taking it to a whole new level n he has no clue how to handle it

Kacchako meeting is kind of a hybrid mix of the other two combined lmao. Baku owns a pack house where he lives with Deku, then later with Kiri, Tetsu, Mina, Kami, n Sero, but he's so busy with the park that he's hardly ever home. N since Ochako's kinda embarassed about her tiny ass appartment, they usually hang out at the pack house to talk over magic studies or gossip over whatever's happened recently. At this point Baku n Ochako have heard of each other but never been around at the same time

Which causes a problem one day while Ochako's in the kitchen making tea when Baku comes home. He'd had a stressful day warding off poachers or smth, n his rut's just a few days away now, so when he opens the door n is greeted with a slightly unfamiliar scent it sends him into a daze, where he stalks to the kitchen before he even knows that he's moving

Ochako knows tho, can hear the low growls and deliberately quiet steps creeping behind her, setting her on edge bc ohhhh my god, someone just broke into Deku's place holy shit!! And when it gets close enough to barely feel hot breath on the back of her neck she's flinging herself into action, all muscle memory as she gets a few quick jabs into Baku's gut. It knocks the question outta his lungs, getting out a choked "who the--" before her magic kicks in and she's picking him up n slamming him down with his weight returned for maximum momentum, body slamming the following "fUCK!!" out as well before she placed her weight on him to keep him down. She gets right in his face demanding "who are you?! How did you get in here?!"

And when he can breathe again Baku snaps back like "who tf am I?!? I live here!! Who tf are you?!?!" And like, she's still in fight mode so she's looking him over like hmm, so this is Bakugou. Then she realises wtf she's doing n goes oh my god it's Bakugou!! N she's jumping off him and apologising so fast that she's barely saying words, trying to take his hands n help him back up but getting swatted away bc you've done enough touching don't you think??

And yea, Baku's kinda pissed. Being attacked in your own house does that to anyone, let alone a pre-rut alpha. But also, he's kinda impressed, bc he can count on one hand the amount of people who've gotten the drop on him like that, but he'd rather die than admit it out loud. So he just huffs at her with a final "try that shit again n I'll kill you", n stalks off to his room, having more important things to worry about right then than who's fucking around in his kitchen

((His rut decides to be completely unhelpful that time around, his alpha brain locking in on the faint perfume she'd left on his shirt while tossing him around and how perfectly it mixed with his own scent, as well as the shirt he nabbed from Kiri's laundry basket the night before. He rubs the scents of these strong potential mates all over his den, knots his rut aid with his face plastered to the shirts then uses it to scent the shirts even more, drunk off of how well their scents all mix together. He's rightfully embarassed during the end when he can start thinking properly again n throws both shirts to the back of his closet to be forgotten about--as much as his alpha fights him on it--n moves on to his business like normal.

Tho if he tries to be home more often when he knows Ochako's coming around, n spends more time in Kiri's space, nobody's mean enough to comment on it. At least, not at first.))

Man I have many feelings about this, but I'll leave it here for now bc I could go on forever

[a-solitary-marshmallow]

Rewind Chapter 2

Stan’s head was full of cotton. He mumbled and buried his face into his pillow, wishing he could block out the world. Had he been hit in the head during gym class? He couldn’t remember, but that might explain the fuzziness in his brain and why his arms felt all weak and noodly.

Someone was talking to him, probably Ford, trying to get him up for school. Ew, school. Did he have a test today? Stan could have sworn there was one coming up but he never really paid attention to when. Not like studying would change his score much anyway. He had to squint to read the questions and it took him way longer than everyone else to answer anything at all. Pa said it was because he was stupid.

He didn’t want to go to school today. His head was all stuffy and he was tired. Was he sick? If he was sick maybe Pa would let him stay home. It was Ford’s schooling he cared about anyway.

But no, that would leave Ford alone all day! He couldn’t leave his brother with that stupid Crampelter. Ford tried to hide how the other kids picked on him when Stan wasn’t there, but Stan wasn’t a total idiot. He knew it got worse when he wasn’t by his brother’s side, fists clenched and rearing for a fight. They would take advantage of his absence to mess with his brother.

No, he’d have to go to school, for Sixer. Filled with indignation on the part of his brother Stan lifted his face from his pillow-

And froze.

He wasn’t in his room, on the bottom bunk while Ford leaned over from the top bunk to talk to him. He wasn’t in his room at all.

The bed he was on was big and messy with slightly grubby sheets. It sat in a weird room that looked like it was part of a log cabin, rife with random objects that sat on boxes or desks or were pinned to a corkboard on the wall. And there was someone standing over him.

Stan yelped and threw himself away from the reaching hand, only to topple off the bed and let out a pained cry when his elbows scraped the wooden floor. The person rushed around towards him. Heart pounding, Stan rolled under the bed and curled up as far in as he could get.

It was cold down here, and dusty, spider webs crisscrossing the beams above his head. Stan hugged his knees and gasped for breath.

Where the heck was he? Who was this guy? Where were Ford, and Ma, and his room and his house?

“Stanley?” A voice called. Deep and male and it sounded like Pa but not quite. Stan would have taken being alone with Pa over this. There was rustling as the person knelt next to the bed. Stan whimpered and curled up tighter. Maybe if he stayed still and very quiet, they would go away.

A man’s face peered into the shadows. His glasses reflected the light but – there was something familiar about those brown curls, the shape of his mouth, the concerned tilt of his brows.

“Ford?” Stan blurted. Ford – because it was Ford, wasn’t it, even though he was grown up? – nodded, seemingly at a loss for what to do. They sat there for a moment before Ford reached a hand towards him.

It was probably to help him out from under the bed, but Stanley took the chance to count his fingers. One, two, three, four, five, six. Yep, this was Ford alright. He grabbed the huge hand and crawled out of the dusty shadows.

Ford was huge. He looked like an adult, Stan realized as he shook dust from his clothes and sneezed. He looked like Pa, but without the sunglasses and the scowl and the grey hair.

“What happened to you?” Stan demanded. “You’re all – big.”

Ford’s eyes widened slightly. He hadn’t made a move to stand up from where he was kneeling. To be honest, Stan didn’t want him to stand up – he didn’t like the idea of his brother looming over him.

“You don’t remember?” Ford’s voice was deeper than he was used to. It still sounded like a nerd’s voice, though, so that was something. Stan frowned.

“Remember what? This isn’t home. Where are we? And you – you’re old. What’s going on?”

Ford ran a hand across his face and groaned. “Okay. This is fine. So you reverted to a child in memories as well. Just – great.”

And then he stood up and started walking. Stan trailed after his brother as he sat at a desk and started writing in a big book. Stan wasn’t tall enough to see what he was writing.

“Uh, Ford?”

No answer. Stan stood there awkwardly while Ford scratched away in his book. He really wasn’t liking how – how weird his brother was being. He felt like he’d missed something big. But with the way Ford was acting Stan was nervous to ask, and that made him even more worried. Ford had never been this distant before.

“I called you here.” Ford said suddenly, making Stan jump. The nerd still wasn’t looking up from his book. “I needed your help hiding my journals. You came to my house. Do you remember that?”

“I have no clue what you’re talking about.” A thought struck Stan and he blinked. “Wait, are we in the future?”

“In a manner of speaking, you are.” Ford sighed. “Listen carefully, Stanley. I asked you to come, so you could take my journal far away and hide it.”

“Why?”

“It contains very dangerous information. I have to keep it out of the wrong hands.”

“Oh, okay.” Yeah, that made sense. That kind of stuff was always happening in the new Sci-Fi show Ford loved. Of course, that was a show, but they’d seen weird things before. Like the Jersey Devil! Plus, if anyone was gonna write something epic and powerful and smart, it would be Ford.

His brother sent him an odd look out of the corner of his eye but continued.

“When you got here – you were my age then – we got into an argument. You knocked into one of my samples and got it all over you. Then you turned into – this. A younger version of yourself.”

Stan blinked. “I was old?”

“We’re twenty seven, Stanley ­– or at least I am. I was investigating water from the spring of youth, but I only came across it recently so I haven’t had time to work out how to undo its effects. I’ll have to get a new sample to experiment on, since you destroyed the only one I had.”

Destroyed? Stan rubbed the back of his neck, shame twisting in his stomach. “Aw man, bro, sorry I broke your thing.”

Ford stiffened. Stan rushed to continue, afraid he’d said something wrong.

“But you can – can get a new one, right? And I can help. And then we can do the thing you wanted, hide the book, right? It’ll be like burying pirate treasure! Oh! If this is the future, did we get the Stan O’ War fixed?” He vibrated with excitement. “Is she seaworthy? Do we go sailing?”

“I’m trying to write, Stanley.” Ford said stiffly, coldly. He’d never used that voice with Stan before. It was unnerving. “Why don’t you go downstairs and get something to eat?”

“Uh… okay. Sure.” Stan mumbled, subdued. Maybe the Stan O’ War could wait.

For the first time he noticed the state of his clothes – well, cloth, since there was only one piece – a too-big shirt that hung off him like a huge smock. He considered asking for a change of clothes. But if he used to be a grownup, they would probably only have grownup clothes. Plus, Ford seemed pretty upset and Stan didn’t want to bother him.

So he held his tongue and wandered out of the room, into the rest of the house. It was big, and super messy. Stan passed what looked like a – a triangle shine? – as he explored a room that may have been a lounge. He poked his tongue out at it. The grumble of his stomach seemed very loud in the quiet. Ford was right, he hadn’t even realized he was hungry!

Eventually he found the kitchen. An investigation of the fridge showed it was empty except a quarter-full jar of peanut butter. Well, better than nothing. Stan found a spoon among the dishes and shuffled over to the dingy table to eat. He had to brush a few papers away to make space.

Okay. So this was really weird. Definitely not scary though. Stan refused to be scared. Even if he desperately missed the security of home, of having his brother by his side-

But this Ford was his brother –  just a bit older. And wasn’t that good? Ford was older, he knew what was going on, he could fix it. Stan just had to wait for him to make things go back to normal. And wasn’t it so cool that his nerd brother would grow up to be a nerdy scientist? He couldn’t wait to go back home and tell his Ford the adventure he’d gone on.

Secure once again, Stan decided to investigate this weird place. His Ford would wanna ask a lot of questions about it, after all. He shoved a final spoon of peanut butter into his mouth and jumped up to explore.

There was so much weird stuff here! Stan had no idea what half of it did. Though, that was true of a lot of things. He peered into some kind of office room with a chalk circle on the floor and candles scattered around, before deciding Ford probably wouldn’t like it if he messed with his stuff.

There was a door that, once opened, showed a dark, yawning staircase stretching out below. Stan peered around for a light switch. Finding none, he shrugged to himself and decided to brave it.

The stairs seemed to go on forever. Stan’s breathing and the tap-tap-tap of his footsteps seemed uncomfortably loud in the enclosed space. A flickering bluish light lit up whatever was below. Stan squinted to try and figure out what it was.

He soon found out, however, when he ended up in some huge lab. The majority of the space was taken up by some gigantic structure, a big circle like the kind you’d blow bubbles with but surrounded with technology junk. It looked like something straight out of Star Trek!

“Whoa.”

Stan walked over to a console to stare at all the buttons. Did Ford know how to use this thing? Did Ford build it? Jeez, he’d always known Ford was the smart twin but this was epic. And if Ford could build this thing, between the two of them the Stan O’ War was gonna be the greatest ship ever!

Stan paused. He knew he really shouldn’t be messing with Ford’s stuff, but that big red button was tempting him. Surely it couldn’t hurt to find out what this thing could do?

Stanley bit his lip, tossing up his options. He was spared from having to make a decision by stomping footsteps and a shout.

“Stanley!”

__________________________________________________________

In hindsight, letting a child roam freely around a house that doubled as a lab and testing site was… not the smartest move to make. In Ford’s defence he had been distracted when he suggested it. Stan had started talking about breaking projects, and that stupid boat, and it took every iota of Ford’s self-control to not snap and yell at him.

He’s a child. He has no memories of what happened. He doesn’t know what he’s saying.

After about twenty minutes of writing observations in his journal Ford had come to the conclusion that letting a child – even worse, Stanley – loose in this place could be dangerous. He closed his journal and descended to make sure he was staying out of trouble.

But Stanley wasn’t downstairs. He wasn’t anywhere Ford checked. With increasing distress Ford stuck his head outside to see if the child had ventured into the woods. No sign of him, and the thick layer of snow was untouched. But the only other place he could have gone was-

The lab.                                                                    

Ford cursed himself for not noticing that the door to the lab was hanging ajar. Stupid sleep deprivation! Ford stormed down the stairs, caught between fury and concern. What if Stan hurt himself?

When he reached the bottom, however, and found his brother staring at the portal’s controls, fury won out.

“Stanley!”

Stan snapped around guiltily. “Uh, hey, Ford-”

“What are you doing down here? This is my lab, it’s dangerous! You can’t touch anything!” Ford marched over and snatched his brother away from the controls. “What if you broke something? Or got hurt?”

Stan yelped. Ford tucked him under one arm and started back up the stairs, gritting his teeth.

“From now on you are not to come down here. Understood?”

“Mm hmm.” Stan mumbled. Once at the top of the stairs Ford placed him down to close and lock the door firmly. He turned back to Stan to continue the scolding, but… Stan looked like he was about to cry. His face was screwed up and he stared at the floor as if he could will away the tears that Ford could see gathering in his eyes.

A surge of guilt washed over Ford, which was ridiculous, because he had nothing to be guilty about. He sighed.

“Stanley, I…” What was there to say? “It’s late. I’ll set you up in the spare room.”

Stan sniffed and nodded.

  Luckily Stan had always been resilient, and he perked back up while Ford went about preparing the bed in the spare room. He hadn’t had visitors for so long that he’d started using it as a workbench.

This had been Fiddleford’s room, back when they had worked together. The thought of his old research assistant sent a spike of guilt through him. Yet another warning that he had ignored, and in the process he’d destroyed the one human friendship he had.

No, he didn’t have time to reminisce. Not with Stanley to deal with and the threat of Bill looming over him at any given time. Ford harshly shoved all thoughts of Fiddleford from his mind and threw a blanket over the bed. It wasn’t very thick but it would have to do.

He was lost in thought as he absently picked up his brother and placed him on the bed. There, problem solved. Ford had more important work to do. For starters, he had to figure out some way to get the unicorn hair he needed for a protective spell against Bill. Until he could put up the barrier it wouldn’t be safe to dismantle the portal, which meant Bill had a much better chance of figuring out how to get in and activate it.

He paused in the doorway to glance at his watch. What was the time, somewhere after midnight? Two-ish apparently. At daybreak he could try again to get the unicorn hair. But he also had to figure out how to cure Stan. Would it be better to leave that until after he had Bill-proofed his house? Stan would be in the way the whole time, but he would be less of an obstacle than he would be as an adult.

But then again, an adult Stan could drive away and be out of the equation entirely. While he was a child Ford was stuck with him. Also, adult Stan also might agree to take the journal when he found out that Ford had cured him. Yes, it was probably better to do that first-

“I can almost see yer ears smoking!”

The chirp made him jump. Ford whipped around to stare at Stanley, who was blinking at him from his spot on the bed.

“Ya were standing in the doorway looking blank for like, five minutes.” The child explained at Ford’s stare. “Watcha thinking about?”

Ford took a slow, steadying breath. “Truthfully? The situation I’m currently in. I have far too much on my plate, and very little time to deal with it.”

“Well, is there anything I can do?” Stan tipped his head. The action made him look rather like a puppy. Despite his tiredness and frustration, the sight made Ford’s mouth tip into a smile.

“I don’t suppose you can charm unicorns as well as you charm old people into giving you sweets?”

“Hey, I don’t make ‘em give me stuff, they just wanna! All I gotta do is play it up a bit.” Then Stan seemed to register the first statement. “Whoa, hold up. Did you say unicorns?”

“Yes, but believe me, they’re not quite as pleasant as the kind you’re imagining. And they very much dislike parting with their hair.” Ford’s lip curled. “Quite irritating, actually.”

“Where did you find unicorns?” Stan demanded excitedly, slipping off the bed to rush to Ford and grab his coat in chubby fists.

“The forest, of course. Gravity Falls is home to numerous creatures not found anywhere else in the world. Why do you think I moved here?” Ford couldn’t quite hold in a snort at the way his brother’s eyes sparkled. “I’m surprised you haven’t seen any gnomes already. They often sneak in to raid the pantry.”

“Are they here now? Can I see ‘em?” Stanley gasped out in a rush.

“No. I do have some sketches in my journal though…”

Stanley let out a whoop and darted past him. Ford watched him scramble up the stairs to where Ford’s room was. How did he… no, he’d woken up in Ford’s room, of course he knew where it was.

“Stanley!” Ford called after him. “Stan, you should be in bed!”

“I’m not tired!”

Oh, for the love of…

Ford sighed and followed, albeit at a slower pace. He had no idea how they’d had that much energy as children. It seemed boundless.

At any rate, he doubted Stanley would be getting to sleep any time soon, and he had to keep an eye on the child to make sure he didn’t get into any trouble. At least his presence shouldn’t hinder Ford too much. Stan could draw or look at pictures or whatever children did while Ford worked on finding a cure.

“FO-ORD!” Stanley yelled. “Come on, hurry up! You got so many books here! Are there mermaids in this weird place too? Oh my gosh there’s mermaids aren’t there? Which one’s your diary thing? I wanna SEE!”

“Coming.” Ford huffed out another sigh and picked up the pace.

[theriverpersonshadow]

Lamia Drama Part 8

WELL THAT GOT LONGER THAN I INTENDED. But I guess that’s what happens when you have a majority of the people in one place XD

I hope this chapter went well... It felt kinda rambly, but it was fun seeing people play off each other. It was hard to get the same level of depth with characters as previous chapters with so many, but hey, interactions are fun too! Hope you guys enjoy.

As always, the species of lamia in this fic belong to @vex-bittys

< PREV | BEGINNING | NEXT >

           Keith and the rest found Alex pretty easily. And a few other lamia that were either allowed free roam or had just slipped out. She didn’t seem to notice the onlookers, more caught up in petting Oozy… who wasn’t technically in his hammock. Maybe it’s best he didn’t make that bet with Hux earlier. Sure, Oozy’s close to the hammock, but Hux would absolutely rules lawyer him and demand snacks because he’s not in the hammock. Hux was a rule stickler… when and only when it helped him in some way. Eh, Keith could roll with it though (even if his dice sometimes couldn’t, but that’s what a DM screen is for).

           Keith was hesitant to break up the cute moment between the two – Oozy was apparently having the time of his life, and Alex seemed pretty wrapped up in it herself, humming some tune or another while stroking him. Keith listened, trying to place it, but…

           She was repeating it, huh? Was that the only part of the song she knew? Then again, it seemed like the good part, whatever it was. Easy enough to pick up too. Keith started humming along.

Hux rolled his eyes, mumbling something that sounded suspiciously like “great, two of them” and slithered over, “Yo. Girl person. Ya coming or what?”

Alex looked up, “I mean, yeah, I think? Coming where?”

“nooooooooo…” Oozy said, taking her hand and putting it back on his head. “Sorry guys. I’m stealing her. She’s my personal petter now. That’s the rules.”

“Since when?!” Hux said.

Oozy looked a moment, then licked her hand. “I licked her, she’s mine.”

Keith stared at him in shock, not sure whether to laugh or slap him. “Dude.”

Nikolai gave a heavy sigh, rubbing the bridge of his nose, “Don’t lick party members. Or people in general.”

           “How does that work anyways? You’re a skeleton,” Alex said.

           “Maaaagic,” Keith said, wiggling his fingers in emphasis. “In other words, uh… Monster biology is weird. Or half monster biology. Whatever the fuck we are.”

           Nikolai nodded, “More or less, yes. I can explain it in more detail later, if you’d prefer.” He started coming forward and Alex inched away. Keith hissed before he could catch himself, but Nikolai didn’t seem offended. Instead, he lowered himself in a bow, “And I’d like to apologize for how I acted earlier… I’ll admit I, erm… Overreacted. But we’ve had issues in the past of people coming in to steal babies or eggs, one of the fools tried to snag a mamba egg and got himself killed. I just get a bit jumpy about strangers around them.”

           Alex nodded, relaxing a little, but still staring off at a clock instead of Nikolai. Her hand continued to run across Oozy as she said, “I get it. They’re just little dudes, too freaking small. And some are venomous. Not like you knew me.”

           “Still, I should’ve given you more of a chance or at least asked you politely to leave before turning to threat displays,” Nikolai said.

           “Eh… It was my fault,” Keith said. “I should’ve warned ya I was bringing someone in. Anyways, let’s try this again. Alex, this is Nikolai. He could probably fuck you up, but he’s everyone’s mom.”

           Nikolai made no move to deny it.

           “Hux here is the grumpy snake. He’ll warm up to ya.”

           “No I won’t.”

           Keith rolled his eyes, “He’s just a grump.”

           Hux mumbled to himself.

           “I think you’ve met Oozy pretty well by now.”

           “Sup,” Oozy said, making absolutely zero movement.

           “And, erm… Nikolai, you’ve got Trousle, right.”

           “Hello human! I’m Trousle! Please let me say hi.” Said Trousle’s little speaker. He was poking out from Nikolai’s sleeve, apparently wrapped around his arm.

           “He’s mute, but he’s pretty fast at typing. Got his own phone and everything,” Keith said, watching this girl intently. Apparent soulmate or not, if she was dick about Trousle, she was out of here. She might’ve earned Oozy’s enthusiastic (well… enthusiastic by his standards, dude looked like a kid in a candy store, but the world’s laziest kid) approval, but he wasn’t going to let an asshole mess with the little dude. Hux would warm up, that was more him being a bit of an ass than her, but he’d get over it… probably.

           “Oh that’s cool! Do you have a phone number? Honestly I think my fingers work better than my mouth sometimes, but I guess talking out loud doesn’t really have a backspace key? But yeah! C’mere… Wait, I can hold him, right? Snakes are just, like, noodle puppies.” She paused, looking at everyone in the room. “I’d offer to hold you guys, but I am literally the second smallest person in here. I mean, guess we can try, but I don’t think it’ll go well?”

           Keith snorted. Gosh, she was something, huh? A little awkward, but who wouldn’t be super awkward in this situation?

           Nikolai brought Trousle over and she draped him around her neck. He nuzzled her cheek, giving her little scratches behind the ear.

           … should someone tell him that she’s not a dog?

           …

           Naaaaaaaaaah. She didn’t seem to mind anyways,

           Hux made a fake-gagging gesture at the two and Keith rolled his eyes, whispering at them, “Oh let’em have this. It’s cute.”

           “I’m getting diabetes. Like, right now. They’re just beaming diabetes across the room.”

           “Be nice,” Nikolai said, “It’s not going to kill you to have to actually smile at a human once in a while.”

           “Yes it will. It’s, like, a terminal thing. If I smile at a human, I will instantly turn to dust.”

           No such condition had ever existed and likely never would.

           Keith’s first instinct was to back up Nikolai, but it was almost an in-joke that he’d at least try to defend Hux no matter how clearly in the wrong the guy was. Admittedly, it was as often as not either due to boredom or just feeling bad for the guy…

           It’s not like Hux didn’t have a point – a point that he had iterated in frustrated, sometimes tear-filled tirades at least a few dozen times. He didn’t want to be treated like a pet, he’s allowed to not want to be a pet. Sure, not every adopter is like that. Some might’ve been looking for pets, yeah, but just as many want a kid or a friend, especially with full sized lamia. It could be more or less just like adopting any other monster, save for needing a good deal more raw meat. But Hux didn’t see it that way… Not that Keith ever blamed him. There wasn’t a huge market for full-sized Corals, their reputation as being stubborn, a bit lazy, and tsundere as hell was cute in something you could pick up and snuggle as it chirped indignantly and secretly enjoyed it – like an extra intelligent, reptilian cat – but less so when it was just as big as you and probably stronger. Everyone wanted a housecat, no one wanted a mountain lion. Or those that did need something to growl and hiss would probably pick Kings or Mambas.

           Nikolai gave a long-suffering sigh, “You will not turn to dust if you’re forced to be nice every now and then.”

           “Yeah I will. It’ll, like, strangle my soul or some shit. Keith, back me up here. Tell ‘im.”

           Nikolai had the distinct impression of a haggard mom trying to reason with an unruly kid. He just looked so done. Dude could handle customers, angry mamba moms, being a jungle gym for babies, and training employees who may or may not have believed he knew he what he was doing, but Hux was his breaking point.

           Keith stifled a chuckle, stuffing his hands in his pockets as his mind worked over what to do… He didn’t want to just abandon Hux – Nikolai would know it was just him being a loyal bro – but Alex wouldn’t. She might not’ve been looking at them, but he caught the way she kept glancing over…

           “Welp, ya heard him. He’s sick. I prescribe ten CC’s of coffee with extra sugar and bribery with shiny objects.”

           Hux’s head popped up, body at attention. “I’m listening… How many shiny objects are we talking.”

           “… we’re not bribing him.”

           “I’ve got extra dice?” Alex said hesitantly. Trousle was looking at her in concern, patting her face. She said, “I mean, I kinda like having all my dice, but I guess I don’t need seven sets… I’m keeping the black ones though, they’re good for fight scenes. And the orange ones, they were my first set ever and are not for sale. Also, the green and purple ones are just a fae vibe, I’m keeping them. They’re just average, but I like them.” Pause. “And the lesbian dice are mine. They won’t like you anyways, you’re a boy.”

           All of them nodded understandingly. You could only play DnD so long and not get irrationally attached to the colorful little click clack rocks of fate.

           “That counts as one shiny object,” Hux said.

           “There are seven in each set!” Pause. “Well, more or less. I’ve lost some over the years.”

           “You’ve got a point… More dice for the dice dragon! Mwahahahah!” Hux said, hamming it up.

           Keith’s mouth twitched into a grin as he shook his head at the goof. How was he this cute? Just… goober. His friend is a total goof sometimes.

           “Can I try the lesbian dice?” Trousle asked, holding himself at an awkward position to type.

           “I… I guess? Just give them back after…” Alex said. She ran a finger across Trousle’s head, smiling as he let out little breathy attempts to “Nyeh.”

           “Why are they lesbians anyways? Do they only work for girls?” Nikolai said.

           “Here, lemme show you.” She unzipped one of the pouches on her bag and brought out a baggy full of dice that were lesbian flag colored. “My friend got them for me for Christmas.”

           “That’s amazing. I want twelve,” Keith said.

           “You’re not a lesbian… or a girl! I think… I mean, if there’s something you want to tell us, that’s fine, but I was under the impression you weren’t even interested in relationships,” Nikolai said.

           “Maybe I could get, like… Dice that are for people who are just no.”

           “Ace and aro. Probably,” Alex said.

           “Oh cool. Words for it. Nice!”

           “Give me words for friends with everyone! I want a flag too!”

           “I… I don’t know if there’s a flag for that? Maybe we could put a dog on a flag? It’d be hard to make dice with dogs on them though,” Alex said.

           “Ya could put a little dog face on every side and interpret the roll based on how much they’re a Good Boy,” Keith said.

           “That would only roll Nat 20’s,” Alex said, deadpan.

           “… good point. It could be the luckiest dice,” Keith said, grinning.

           “I AM THE GOODEST BOY. Give me dog dice.” Trousle said, tucking the phone away to throw his little fists in the air, a gleam in his eye as he sat on Alex’s head.

           Keith laughed. “Oh my gosh. I mean, that sounds adorable, but, uh… I think that miiiiight be a little too game breaking, even for me.”

           “Give me dog dice.” He slithered back down to around Alex’s neck, holding himself out towards Keith the best he could and giving some mix between a glare and a pout.

           “Trousle no.”

           “Trousle YES,” Alex said.

           Troulse nodded enthusiastically, bouncing in place so hard that he fell off and Alex yelped as she caught him.

“Are you alright?!”

           Trousle gave a thumbs up, coiling around her arm.

           Oozy had apparently fallen asleep on the floor, so Hux poked him with a stick, making Oozy whine. “Soooooo… Are we gonna get Glitterass, or are we just shadow banning him from this? I mean, I wouldn’t say no if we are…”

           “We should probably go get him, yeah,” Keith said. “Ya ready Alex? Liam’s a mamba, and one of his eyes don’t work. Try to stay on his good side, literally. Metaphorically too if you want, but he doesn’t like having people where he can’t see or hear them well.” Not that anyone would like that, just courtesy really, but maybe not something you’d think of immediately.

           Alex nodded, “Alright, let’s go!”

[reineyday]

bnha characters as volleyball players (au headcanons)

i have never in my life played volleyball outside of gym class and the occasional beach jaunt, so this is all based off of what i learned from haikyuu LOL

anyways, this started as tags from this fanart by @syblatortue​ of deku, kacchan, kiri, sero, iida and shouto as vball players, and then it got away from me so if you wanna read 2.9k worth of headcanons about powerhouse athletics high school UA then go ahead and press “read more” :)

deku's the calculating setter like kenma and he fanboys over stats from the international to the national to the high school

kacchan used to make fun of him and look down on him bc he used to think too much on court to move properly, and as a kid kacchan used to think that it was spiking or bust so he always gave deku grief and bullied him over being slow and weak

in middle school kacchan was a starter since first year and eventually became the ace but deku was always second string setter

his athleticism was nothing to write home about but he was just good enough to make the bench

in their middle school tournament their starting setter got injured and deku had to step in to set for a match for the first time ever

powerhouse volleyball high school coach yagi toshinori is watching and he sees all the aborted plans in deku's setting choices

he sees the gutsy sets that miss and the one successful dump he did that threw everyone off-guard (even deku himself), and yagi remembers what it was like to be hungry for volleyball seeing the look in this kid's eyes and he recognizes the brain on him

their team loses there though bc the fact is that deku wasnt athletic enough to do it and kacchan is yelling and deku's crying

but yagi approaches deku (who freaks out bc all might is THE legendary vball player of their country, and the nation was SHOOK when after getting severely injured by a malicious spike in the wrong place he chose to coach high school vball, even if the school was a powerhouse school and also his alma mater lol)

but anyways deku babbles and fanboys even through his tears and says he got into UA but he's not sure he can make the vball team, and yagi says he sees the potential in deku's plays and if he trains hard every. single. day. from now until the tryouts at UA, he might make at least the bench

(cue montage)

kacchan is angry to see deku at tryouts and fuckn RAGING when deku more or less keeps up bc deku got buff since their last high school match

unfortunately for kacchan he is actually the one most familiar with deku's playing since they trained together in middle school too, and he almost pops a blood vessel just thinking it but ever since deku started actually being able to get to the ball in time, vball has been more fun ‘cuz the things deku ends up doing are fucking batshit crazy and his sets are begrudgingly his favourite to hit

deku sets right where kacchan can just hit the ball as violently as he can, and it sounds like a bomb goes off when the spike hits the ground

(kacchan also obviously has the best serves and he mixes it up with the power ones like his ap shots, or floaters when he's strategic; he knows how to read the opposing team and either wait or serve really fast and serves up high to blind them like his flashbomb explosions, and he’s really arrogant about his serves but at least he can back it up as per classic kacchan)

anyways they become a really intimidating duo, apart but especially together, because despite the way deku still occasionally cowers from kacchan’s rage and kacchan is often yelling and antagonizing deku, they can read each other really smoothly on court and they match each other really easily, and they both go for the really gutsy shit no one else would think to try (like samu and tsumu going for the freak quick with samu setting kind of gutsy)

kacchan is also antagonizing af and calls the other team extras lol

but yeah, those two along with renown olympic vball player todoroki enji's son shouto are the three most intimidating first years at UA

enji has a very aggressive playing style and where he targets people on the opposing team specifically to make them sweat, makes them feel like he’s hot on their heels even from the other side of the net, always glaring, always strong

shouto hates it and hates the way his dad made him train day in and day out just because he had a good reaction time and instincts for the ball when he was young

fuyumi and natsuo were slow as kids and got immediately dismissed bc of it bc to enji if they werent athletic enough for the ideal vball playing style as children then theyd never be athletic enough to beat all might’s vball career and metrics in the future

touya was fast enough but he overtrained and strained his knees and then continued straining them to play anyways till they were permanently damaged, and by the time he graduated middle school, his doctor put him on orders to never ever ever do anything that might be overly strenuous for his knees ever again

anyways, shouto plays very cool and detached, like even when he spikes the ball right into your face you’ll feel like he wasn’t looking; he’s a middle blocker like suna, stays calm but uses his whole body

deku eventually convinces him that playing with fire every once in a while, especially when he spikes, can be a good thing because at the end of the day, his dad may have taught him the tricks but it’s shouto himself who’s playing, and so it’s not his dad’s style, it’s his own

also the spikes just aren’t as good or as psychologically effective if shouto’s not 100p IN it when he goes to spike one of deku’s demanding sets

and im gonna say shouto is ambidextrous but more comfortable with his left hand in this volleyball au because shouto’s left side is his fire side, and it’s more parallel to the character to make his more aggressive spiking hand his left one but still have him be able to use his left hand for spikes too (it’s also SO stressful for opponents bc angles)

also yes he does indeed only play with his right hand (his ice side) when he gets into UA, and is initially very hellbent on proving to his father that he can become a pro vball player without being as aggressive as enji on court and without using his more dominant hand, the hand that his dad’s been focusing on whenever they trained at home, the hand he’s spent hours and hours spiking and serving with since he was like five years old

one day deku notices shouto’s writing with his left hand and then connects the dots and sort of badgers him into spiking one of his sets with his left hand too and then yeah shouto tells him his life story and deku manages to emotionally coerce him into being okay with his left-handed spikes

(shouto also feels better about it when deku points out the left-handed angles thing)

so yeah that’s the big three scary first year starters: calculating and gutsy deku, who occasionally makes plays so gutsy he’s at risk of twisting one of his limbs in a very scary way (he’s always bruised in weird ass places from volleyball); raging, aggressive but also cunning kacchan, who is undoubtedly the loudest on any court he’s on, and ambidextrous hot and cold shouto, who does a pretty solid general defense with little holes but has scary aggressive spikes

btw shouto’s got a fanclub and they call him the volleyball prince

also at one point they totally play a practice match against shiketsu and UA loses bc inasa starts antagonizing shouto for being exactly like his father (inasa asked for enji’s autograph after a match once when he was a kid and got rudely blown off) and shouto gets offended and starts targeting inasa and then they get outplayed (it was a close match though ‘cuz both of them couldnt get their heads out of their asses and both their teams were suffering as a result)

alrighty, the other players in that fanart lmao!

kirishimaaaaa my dude my bro, super solid libero, always pumps up the team, and his defense is unbreakable! will receive even the scariest, most powerful spikes and smile cheerfully through it; will always insist that you’re manly for playing with everything you have and never letting fear get in the way of going for it

his middle school had a huge and scary substitute gym teacher who didn’t have mercy and spiked hard right to the faces of the students, and kiri really wanted to run forward to receive the spike and yell about how unfair this teacher was but he froze because the spike seemed unforgiving and if he received it wrong, what if his nose broke? what if he fell and broke something from the impact? mina didnt pause though and she received the spike and told off their substitute teacher and then reported it to their homeroom teacher and it was so manly of her, he promised himself he would never hesitate just bc of a scary spike again

btw mina’s all-around athletic and could probably make it onto the girls vball team but she’s probably on the UA dance team (UA is a powerhouse school for many sports, and theyre famous for their athletics department bc they often hire (former) pro-athletes to teach and coach)

iida comes from a family of sprint runners and he’s the one they trust for the most running; he’s their first year decoy and he’s fast af for such a big guy, and he often also provides extra block support from zooming left and right

also enjoys helping out the managers and corralling his team into being good students; he’d offer to tutor kirishima but kiri seems to have fun trying to be friends with bakugou lol; he makes it known that he’s there if kiri wants some extra patience to go along with his studies though

sero guess blocks so accurately people like to say that he’s got tape coming from his elbows, bringing the ball straight to his arms so that he can block; actually he’s pretty known for having weirdly accurate control bumping the ball back from places other than his hands (esp his elbows though), like he’s just so aware of his body, and he uses everything he can to keep the ball off the ground so he’s good at general defense

some other people i wanna mention:

aizawa’s their supervising teacher and the first year homeroom teacher (he gets to hear bakugou explode both first thing in the morning AND right at the end of the day, oh joy); all might just coaches ‘cuz he does other former pro stuff during class time, so he somehow ended up in charge of the volleyball club after the previous teacher stopped being able to

he never went pro but he’s a black belt mixed martial artist, and he still does those parent-child karate classes with hitoshi (who is now close to black belt and on the demo team, since they’ve been doing this since hitoshi was like five) and eri (who just got her yellow belt! aizawa is soft)

only hizashi, nemuri, oboro and his kids know this but he’s also REALLY good at doing aerial silk and he looks graceful af when he does it

hitoshi started kinda learning aerial silk when hizashi took him to a rock climbing place that had the silks on the ceiling (dont at me, there’s a place EXACTLY like this where i used to live lmao) and found out they offer classes there, and hizashi laughed and said “yknow your dad is pro at those right”

ochako is their first year manager, and when everyone is confused about kacchan continuing to call deku something so mean, she talks about how the nickname is cute and gives off the impression that he’s trying his best and when deku grins and blushes and seems to be happy with it, the whole team starts calling him deku with the same intentions and fondness behind it

every time other people hear UA calling their starting setter “deku” theyre so confused

nejire is the third year manager leaving and she does gymnastics and dance outside of school

mirio is the ace and his thing is that he is very strong and very precise, and he moves like he phases through the other players

tamaki is a middle blocker that can adapt all kinds of playing strategies pretty fast as long as he’s got time to digest them and decent food in his stomach—he’s a great decoy ‘cuz his spikes are hard and he’s pretty fast too, and while he prefers read blocking, there are a few times he guess blocks and it’s accurate af and kinda scary honestly

tamaki and mirio are also pretty fearsome ‘cuz people start off scared of mirio’s power spikes and serves (btw his goal is to spike a million service aces LOL), and then tamaki kind of surprises them ‘cuz he seems to be able to just? do everything??? (and theyre extra surprised bc no doubt he’ll be talking himself down and doubting himself before the match and the opponents will think like “oh good he’s mentally weak” and he kind of is but also holy shit??? we got blocked AGAIN???) and so they sort of only keep a peripheral eye on mirio while they start focusing on tamaki, and then all of a sudden mirio’s not where you thought he was and how’d he get there so fast and there other players in the way??? and then mirio spikes one in

this isn’t really related to anything else but you BET mirio can bend low and do insanely accurate bump receives from pretty close to the ground like! his thighs and knees are legend

we don’t really know any second year bnha students, but i’d like to think their starting team isn’t just first years, so i’d say like… hm or mb tamaki is starting setter (all the stuff about adapting and easily digesting strategies still applies, as well as his flexible skillset, it just now includes setting) and mirio is his ace, but all might puts deku in a lot more than you’d expect a bench player to be subbed in not only ‘cuz it shakes up the other team to see such a meek-looking kid do these gutsy-ass sets, but also bc it’s good for tamaki’s mental health that he feels like he’s got a really great setter right there supporting him as well, even though he knows (objectively) that he can hold the fort on his own

so yeah, id say tamaki and mirio for sure starters (mirio is captain), kirishima’s a starter (he’s always been really good, he just used to get a little scared off in matches sometimes, but since the thing with mina, he’s been really gunning for it, and also conveniently their last really good libero graduated the year before and they didn’t really have a good backup), shouto’s a starter (he’s lowkey mad about it bc it feels like he’s fulfilling his dad’s legacy and he doesnt want to be), and probably two second years, that feels fair

bakugou’s benched bc his temper’s still a little too unwieldy for the court (much to his dismay), sero’s still patching up holes in his defense, and deku could stand to watch other people’s playing styles, but u bet theyre all fearsome af when theyre on court: deku seems to be the only one that seems to be able to bring out shouto’s terrifying spikes for now; after their first qualifiers, rumours fly around the vball circuit about his angry pinch server that’s so mad he’s not a regular, he takes it all out on his serves and rip the team that has to try and receive them

well okay, so bakugou is the only that i can qualify as actually fearsome bc even when he’s being intimidating sero is a pretty chill dude, and deku looks too nice to really be scary so the opponents usually arent scared until he starts playing and then for them it’s just this internal monologue of “what the fuck? what the FUCK???”

and sero, while chill, is the type to be aggressively cheerful and grin really wide after he blocks and gives you, the opponent, really supportive feedback that sort of still offends you but in a way you cant refute because every word he said was nice and his demeanour was nice too and yet? you kinda wanna strangle him??? and then he laughs winsomely and blocks your next spike too (like, “awh i noticed you have a tendency to follow here when xyz happens, but better luck next time right? that’s usually a pretty good play”)

and of COURSE their school banner says “plus ultra”

ANYWAYS i went OFF lmao i can’t believe i really wrote 2.9k of headcanons for this

i have waaaay more ideas about what the rest of the class and other characters are up to in this au that is powerhouse athletics high school UA so if for some reason you got all the way to the end then thank you and please interact if you wanna talk more about it!!!

[theoneryderlynn]

Self Para || One of Us

Location: Ohio State University

Date: Freshman Year of College. 

Notes: Bits of young Ryder during his freshman year in college that are relevant to his current story (aka before the Ryley era :D). Also, I have decided to pick young Vanessa Hudgens as an FC for Felicia.

Refresh.

Ryder’s eyes scrutinized his laptop’s screen as he tried to check whether his newest essay had already been graded. Nothing yet. He was feeling good about this one; the past few months in college had been decent for him. Despite being dyslexic, he’d managed to get good grades. Although Ryder was rather fond of his sessions with his tutor, he was told it wouldn’t be long till they would be necessary. He focused on the following few assignments and then rechecked his email. Seeing a familiar address, he quickly clicked on the tab.

Dear Mr. Lynn, I’m happy to inform you that your recent essay on “Social media’s influence in business” has been graded A-. Regardless of a few mistakes, your work proved excellent knowledge of the topic.

Ryder widened his eyes as he saw the message; it was hard to believe what had just happened. It was his first A in college, something he had never thought he would achieve. He grabbed his phone and sent a text to his parents and sister. Freya congratulated him, but his father seemed unbothered. “Not good enough.” He read the response out loud and sighed, leaning back. He wouldn’t let his father ruin the day. Not now.

------------------

He was lost in his thoughts for a moment as he was preparing two cups of coffee, still a little bit sleepy after an eventful Saturday night. He blinked when he realized that the warm liquid had been ready for a couple of minutes and that he was staring at the cups without doing anything. Finally, Ryder cleared his throat and moved towards the table.

“If you need sugar, I can bring…” He mumbled, placing one of the cups in front of Felicia, a brown-haired girl from his faculty. When she declined, he took a seat opposite her and took one of the forks. He was starving; luckily, she cooked a bunch of good omelets for the two of them.

“I had a really good time last night.” Ryder lifted his head when he heard Felicia’s voice, realizing that he’d just dropped his fork. He crouched down to look under the table and murmured a ‘sorry’, realizing that he was acting like an idiot. A hot girl was telling him that she had fun, and he was acting like a total fool, “You’re cute.” She added, causing him to smile. Okay, okay. Things weren’t that bad.

“I had a good time too.” He responded, a shy, lopsided grin present on his face. Somehow, these things didn’t come easily, “I should probably say, you’re cute too, but you’re like more…” He rambled on, gesticulating awkwardly. Ryder bit on his lip, blushing for a moment and realizing that he was once again doing the wrong thing. He took a small bite of his food.

There was an awkward silence for a moment.

“So, I wanted to ask...you know, this thing has been going on for a while, and I was wondering if maybe you’d like to take it further. I would like to know where I stand, if we’re just a fling or something else.” She spoke up, looking Ryder in the eye, something he hadn’t expected last night when they had met up at a restaurant, and ended up in his apartment later on.

Truthfully, Ryder hadn’t been in a relationship for a long time. Indeed, he’d dated in high school, but things had never been serious. However, college dating seemed slightly different, so maybe it was a chance for him to change. Nevertheless, he remained quiet for a second, unable to speak. He wasn’t sure if there was a good answer to Felicia’s question.

“I’d like that. We could give it a try.” He finally spoke up with a shy smile on his face. She was lovely and gorgeous, it wouldn’t hurt, right?

She took a small sip of her coffee and shuffled a bit closer, “That’s good to hear…” Ryder felt their eyes meeting and blushed again. He wasn’t used to the serious conversations, “One more question before we can get back to business…” She started with a cheeky grin, “Look, I wanna know...What’s up with you and the Marley girl? I don’t wanna be second best, so I have to ask.”

Ryder sighed, hearing the question. People kept on asking him about one of his best friends, and he had no idea why. It’s not like there were any chances for them to get together, “Well, nothing’s happening.” The brunette shrugged, “We met in high school; I liked her a lot, cause you know, she’s crazy talented, but erm...she kinda picked someone else. I let it go. We were best friends in high school, attended Glee club together, nothing else. We changed schools after our Sophomore year. I met her again a couple of months ago here. Now we’re friends again. She’s very talented, and I like listening to her music, that’s it. Friendship, nothing more.” He explained, hoping that she would see how genuine he was being. Seconds later, he felt their hands intertwine, and he leaned forward to kiss the brunette.

So far, so good.

--------------------------

The gyms at Ohio State weren’t that bad; Ryder immensely enjoyed them. They even had a sauna room which seemed incredible, especially after a long workout. Exercising with one of his best friends was a good idea for an afternoon and a nice replacement for canceled football practice.

“So, if this NFL trial goes well, I might be leaving at the end of the year. Not a big deal.” Nathan, Ryder’s college best friend, smiled at the brunette when they finished running on the treadmills. Both of them rushed towards the dumbbells.

“I’m super happy for you, bro. I think you’ll crush it!” Ryder was genuinely happy for his buddy succeeding; he was a killer player, so he deserved it more than anyone.

“What about you?” 

“What about me…” Ryder repeated, grabbing two of the middle dumbbells, he wasn’t going to start with the heaviest ones to avoid injury. He did a few lifts before answering, “I don’t think I’ll ever be a pro player. I mean, I’m not even in the main squad. I wanna graduate, and find a nice job, whether it’s here or somewhere else.” He shrugged and kept on exercising. They both spoke about the games a little bit when Nathan said,

“Oh I forgot to tell you. Felicia had lunch with Mary last night. She saw you and Marley this week, and she wasn’t happy about it.”

Ryder frowned, “Yeah, she texted me about it. I don’t see her problem, we had brunch and talked about school. Nothing too special.” He added, placing the dumbbells where they belonged, and then started doing stretches. Nathan joined him.

“Look, I’m not saying she’s right, but you two.” He pointed at Ryder, “You and the blue-eyed lady have this kind of vibe.” He exaggerated the last word, looking Ryder in the eye.

“We’re friends. I’m allowed to have friends. I’m not going to give up my friendship with Marley because Felicia seems insecure. I’ll explain that it was nothing serious; it will be fine.” Ryder lifted himself and headed towards the other room. He wasn’t planning on dwelling on the topic for too long, the issue wasn’t worth it. 

Nathan seemed not convinced but remained quiet.

----------------------

Ryder kept staring at his phone as he checked if he’d borrowed all the necessary books from the library; the notes option was a lifesaver. Sophomore year had just started, and he was ready to learn more. He’d managed to finish the first one with a B grade which was a huge success. Even if his tutoring sessions were still set, they happened less often as his teacher was delighted with his achievements. When he was leaving the library, he almost bumped into someone. Damn, he shouldn’t be so focused on his phone, “Uh sorry…” He mumbled and lifted his eyes to see a familiar face, “Uh...hey...hey, Felicia. Hi.” He gave her an awkward nod before adjusting his backpack’s strap.

“Hey, Ryder. How was your summer?” She asked with a slight smile on his face.

Summer. Right. They hadn’t spoken for a few months. He’d spent the past summer with Marley and helped her mom at the bakery. While he’d been away from the university, he’d completely forgotten about the past year’s problems.

“Uh, it was alright. I was resting...and all that stuffs. How was yours? Everything alright?” He knew he sounded awkward, but it couldn’t be helped. Ryder wasn’t an expert when it came to these situations.

Luckily for him, his ex-girlfriend was way better at them, “It was great. I spent a month in France with my friends.” She responded with a small nod.

Ryder flashed her an awkward smile and was ready to move before she spoke again, “I saw you two yesterday. You looked very happy.” She told him, a genuine tone in her voice.

He rubbed the back of his neck nervously, staring at his feet.  He wasn’t sure if he was even supposed to answer, “Yeah…” He replied quietly.

“For the record, I think you’re great together. You deserve it, Ry; you’re a good guy.” She touched his shoulder, causing him to smile. Okay, so this was going way better than he’d expected. Of course, they hadn’t ended up on good terms, but maybe there was a chance to fix this. They’d see each other in class for the next few years, after all.

“Thanks. I hope you’ll find someone that makes you happy.” Ryder responded, a smile still present on his face. The past few weeks felt like a dream come true, so maybe it was apparent how ecstatic he was.

“Oh, don’t worry. I got this.” She winked at him before moving past his shoulder, “I’ll see you around.”

Ryder gave her an awkward wave and started walking towards the exit. He pulled out his phone and typed a quick message to Marley  “Lunch on me :) Let’s hang out!! Can’t wait to see you again :)”.

It was quite a decent start to their Sophomore year.

[fukurodaze]

haikyuu!! third gym squad taking the ib diploma programme

ok... my friend and i got rlly stressed the other day and made headcanons for these guys if they were to take classes in the ib... it’s like a levels but like... a bit more death!

for my ib diploma folks you can just hop on over and read what i’ve hc’d but for my non-ib folks, lemme give you a bit of an introduction to the ib diploma programme.

characters included: bokuto koutarou, kuroo tetsurou, akaashi keiji, tsukishima kei, haiba lev, hinata shouyou

THE IB DIPLOMA PROGRAMME is a rigorous two-year pre-college program in your last two years of high school. a full programme consists of one class from each of the six required groups (totalling to 6 classes), which are G1 - first language; G2 - second language; G3 - social sciences; G4 - natural sciences; G5 - mathematics; and G6 - arts (though, arts is optional, and can be switched out with another subject from G3 or G4).

within these six courses, students are required to take at least three high-level (HL) courses and three standard level courses (SL), but some students may take four HL courses and have two SL courses (kind of a rough one tho). 

just to note: there’s two types of math courses - applications and interpretations (Math AI) and analysis and approaches (Math AA). MAA courses are known to be harder than MAI courses because students do more theory work and have non-calculator sections in exams, unlike MAI courses where calculators are required for every exam. also, it is possible for a person to take IB courses instead of the full diploma programme, but i’m not very well acquainted with that variation of the IB programme so we’re just going to assume all the boys got 6 courses.

okay. i am so sorry i just lectured you on a whole school curriculum. anyways. back to haikyuu!!

BOKUTO KOUTAROU : Japanese Language and Literature HL, Mandarin Ab Initio SL, Geography HL, SEHS (Sports, Exercise, and Health Science) HL, Math AI SL, Economics SL

ok so it’s canon that this dude is not doing very well in math but his parents made him do higher level math at first poor boy >:(

he started the year off in higher level and thought he was gonna be fine

no. he was not fine.

so he ended up switching his math hl to sl and his japanese sl to hl

IT IS CANON (special chapter in volume 19 titled “i just forgot” where bokuto has a wholeass crisis about words) that bokuto’s really one to actually really like to think about how words work and function as systems in the same way ib language courses do!!

actually having him do japanese ll hl is just an excuse for me to keep him in math sl sorry

i mean koutarou may be my fav tax evader but he really did sit through two years worth of econ classes... smh

mans is Not listening and has to rely on yukie for notes but he just memorises case studies for exams and does not do anything else

i feel like he just takes mandarin because he thought it was the easiest one... he also thinks the words sound similar so it’s easy to memorise

he’s a pretty good communicator so he practices his mandarin quite a lot. as in, he’s made friends to talk to in mandarin. we love to see it!!!

also. um. i hc that he’s pretty decent at memorisation so geography!! this goes for memorising all the kanji and mandarin characters too

i think SEHS is pretty self-explanatory. mans already known he wanna be a pro athlete might as learn about being healthy as an athlete

KUROO TESTUROU : Japanese Language and Literature SL, English B SL, Business Management HL, Chemistry HL, Math AI HL, Biology HL

now... we all know this mf been taking chemistry hl. it is CANON

and as per his career path... DEFINITELY business management hl

i feel like he’s so analytical in the way he sees things that he likes to explore many areas of knowledge where there are different ways of thinking

takes english as a second language because... whew.. aint it sexy when mans wanna be multifaceted in business

also takes higher level biology because he’d rather not with the languages... but later on i believe he ends up in a higher level language class because he might as well

i feel like kuroo’s classes just give me a vibe i know too too well... 

mans takes math ai. he does not wanna fuck around with a pencil proving a theorem he just wants the answer bro

like in volleyball, he’s a quick thinker. so he’s pretty g with math and business stuff

i literally know someone with this class combo ... it’s not very chill but it screams “you never see me do any course work but i always get at least a B+ in every subject”

AKAASHI KEIJI :  Japanese Language and Literature HL, French Ab Initio SL, Psychology HL, Chemistry SL, Math AA SL, Visual Arts HL

now... this subject combo radiates such pretty energy

pretty subjects for a pretty boy

he was originally going to do biology sl but then found out there is chemistry in biology so he just decided with chemistry. plain and simple.

we all know akaashi is both emotionally and academically intelligent

he’s logical and analytical, and when faced with a tough time he works through it well albeit going through a little bit of struggle

this automatically puts him in math aa... i just see him actually liking proving theorems??? 

but maybe he just thinks his calculator is a nuisance sometimes and would rather solve everything by hand 

also art boy! this dude likes graphic design more but when it comes to traditional art he does Not Hold Back

i like to think that he’s into painting backgrounds and mixed media

if he didn’t take VA, i’m pretty sure he would take economics. because. it’s quite systematic and i think akaashi would take a liking to it

as for japanese ll hl... we all know this dude was supposed to be a part of the literary section in a magazine/manga company but was moved to editor

goes hand-in-hand with psychology, likes to know how words convey meaning and how they affect people

he also thinks french is kind of a cool language. i feel like this guy just wants to do it because it sounds cool and novel for him

all in all, pretty solid subject combo!

TSUKISHIMA KEI : Japanese Language and Literature HL, French Ab Initio SL, History HL, Biology SL, Math AA HL, Instrumental Music HL

4 hl’s... here we are folks

honestly does it for colleges to go like “holy shit this dude is kinda crazy”

but does suffer... coursework tings :)

first of all this dude takes french (even though it’s a beginner’s class) because he just loves to sound cool huh

the summer before his courses started he would have had the basics down after looking through free ib textbooks

plus, being the guy that’s super good at a new language in the class is a huge ass flex and a big ass ego boost. and anyways, with language, he thinks it’s just a lot of simple patterns working together.

this also applies to japanese ll hl... finds writing essays and making arguments ez (at least that’s what he tells himself - he’s kinda nervous when it comes to japanese but he holds on anyway)

practices extra hard on pronunciation. sounds hot tho

math aa hl??? there we go. another crazy one. thought he could ace the class at first.... no. no he couldn’t 

thinks about moving down to sl. probably does. (at least it’s not math ai)

history and biology go hand in hand for him. he has significant interests in prehistoric times, and likes to learn about the origins of life - that’s a given

but he does get tired of the politics talk in history like... goddamn all these people making so many mistakes? just stop making them smh

and instrumental music was just something he got onto because he really would like to just have a course where he could enjoy himself while also learning about the stuff he likes

nobody knows what music he listens to... but i think he’s willing to listen to anything as long as it’s music and it has the kinds of vibes he digs

HAIBA LEV: Japanese Language and Literature SL, Mandarin Ab Initio SL, Psychology HL, Chemistry SL, Math AI HL, Theatre HL

i don’t know how to explain it but lev has such strong psych and chem energy

yes haiba lev’s classes are the ones i picked via roulette wheel

jk not really

here’s the thing though, lev takes psychology because he thinks econ, business management, history, ess, all that jazz is just... absolutely boring. like. super. mf-ing. boring.

so he’s like ooh cognitive processes!

kinda hates that he has to study research methods and research methods ONLY at first but when he gets the hang of it he really finds it one of his fav subs

i actually have no explanation for mandarin ab initio sl... he just seemed like the kind of guy who would wanna do the class solely because he thinks mandarin sounds cool with their intonations and everything

plus he heard that the teacher gives mooncakes every lunar new year ad he. loves. them.

okay now hear me out.

lev is good at math.

maybe not lightning speed analysis or calculations like akaashi, but he finds solving problems fun! except for when they’re without a calculator bc he HATES doing calculations by hand

he can get a bit clumsy with his hand calculations too so it’s nice to just have a calculator on hand

literally only does math ai for the sake of using a calculator at all times (a/n: i take this class, and this was the reason i took it too. COMPLETELY VALID)

and then does theatre for the fun of it!!! confidence levels high for presentations and performances... good fit

kinda thought that ib theatre would be his easy A but oh how he was wrong... hates the research tasks at first but he gets used to it

HINATA SHOUYOU: Japanese Language and Literature SL, Portuguese Ab Initio SL, SEHS HL, Geography HL, Math AI SL, Theatre HL

his classes are bokuto energy but with theatre and portuguese

MANGA SPOILERS! we all know he started thinking abt going to brazil in his second year of high school, and the ib diploma programme starts in the last two years of high school so it fits PERFECTLY

lowkey most of the boys take japanese ll sl because they just. have to.

this is also hinata’s case <3

SEHS HL!!! he has a vision for the future and it definitely involves him understanding health and sports and everything like that, especially after nationals in his first year :(((( still sad abt that

but he’s motivated for this higher level class because he’s really just gonna go all out with the research

math ai sl because... he prolly don’t give a fuck about numbers!!! (it hasn’t been made clear already, but math ai sl is the lowest level math course)

he also took theatre hl because even though he does get scared at first, he’s a natural when it comes to learning new cultures

he’s just so curious about it all and it makes him quite engaged in the class as well!!!!

also kinda took theatre because the other subjects were just not it for him

about geography... he hates memorisation but he also hates everything else in the social studies group so

he just gets by by trying to find the little details of the things he’s studying interesting because really... geography class is just the base of all the places on his bucket list

hinata’s def one of those dudes who picks his subs purely off of liking because we all know he’s going. any subject that isn’t based off of liking is usually a mandatory subject anyways

[willow-salix]

Isolation update! Big thanks to @hodgehegposts for the prompt and fun chats.

Day 67 of Isolation on Tracy Island and today I learnt that the Tracy’s and I have totally different ideas of how to protect ourselves.

Some of us were watching a movie and some of us, namely Kayo, were attacking everyone stupid enough to go near enough. 

“Arghhh,” Gordon screamed as he flew backwards and landed on his butt with a bone rattling bump.

“Who’s next?” she asked, beckoning us forward.

Alan rubbed his butt in remembered pain and shook his head.

Kayo looked at Scott.

“Nope, I’m secure enough in my masculinity to know that it's not a good idea to go up against you.”

“John?” 

“Erm, let me think...no.”

Virgil was on the upper level, headphones on, totally in the zone while he painted and we all knew that nothing would get him to move bar an emergency call and that wasn't likely to happen any time soon.

She looked at me.

“Nope, don’t even think about it. I don’t know anything about your fancy moves, I’m no karate kid.”

“You don't know any self defence at all?” Scott asked.

I shrugged. “Well, I know enough to protect myself in a packed bar, does that count?”

Apparently it didn't, because less than ten minutes later I had been wrestled into my workout gear and was standing on the mats in the gym.

“I don't have a good feeling about this,” John muttered to Scott.

“Nonsense, she needs to learn, it’s important she can defend herself if the need arises. Do you want her getting hurt because she doesn't know how to take down an assailant?”

“Of course not, but it’s her.”

“True.”

“I can hear you both, you know!”

“Busted,” Scott whispered to John, who sighed, knowing he was very likely to get yelled at for that later. And he would be right.

“Don’t listen to them, don’t let them put you off, you can do this,” Kayo encouraged me. “You can’t be that bad, you must know something. You said you could defend yourself in a packed bar, so lets start there, show me your moves.”

“I don’t really have a set of moves, I kinda just make it up on the fly,” I admitted, ignoring Scott's snort of amusement and John’s groan of disbelief.

“We can work with that, on the fly is what we do best. Scott?”

“Yeah?”

“Attack her, grab her from behind.”

“I dont think so.”

“John, you do it then.”

“I value certain parts of my anatomy.”

“Gordon?”

“Sure, I’ll do it, what's the worst that could happen?”

John actually laughed at that, he knew never to annoy me.

“No, I don’t want to hurt anyone,” I said, backing away.

“You couldnt hurt me, don’t worry. I’m just gonna grab you and all you have to do is break my hold.”

“You sure?” I asked. “I fight dirty.”

“So do bad guys,” Kayo laughed.

“I can take it,” Gordon assured me.

“OK,” I shrugged and turned around for him to grab me.

“Just do what you would do in a crowded bar and someone grabbed you,” Scott instructed.

I nodded.

Gordon waited a few seconds and then grabbed me, one arm around my chest, another around my waist.

I didn't bother struggling, I leant closer.

“Hey, Sailor, oh, you’re strong. Are you single? Because I’ve got four kids at home that desperately need a daddy. You don’t have a fear of commitment do you? Because I feel like we could have something really special, you know? Do you feel it too? This special thing between us? Wanna get marrie-”

“I’m out!” Gordon dropped me like I was a hot potato.

I turned around, waiting for my praise.

Scott cracked up laughing, almost falling over, only his grip on John’s shoulder keeping him upright? 

“That’s what you do in a bar?” John asked in utter disbelief. “You’re never going out alone again.”

“What if your attacker isn't some creep in a bar, what if he’s following you home and jumps you in an alleyway?” Alan asked.

“Why would I be in an alleyway?”

“He could grab you and drag you in,” Scott answered, finally gaining control of himself and managing to stand on his own.

“Who’d want me?” I argued. “I’d open my mouth and he’d run away in fear.”

“Truth,” Gordon muttered.

“Grab her again,” Kayo ordered.

“Do I have to?”

“I’ll do it,” Scott sighed, stepping up to the bat.

“So no words, just fight? Anything goes?”

“Yep, fight like your life depends on it,” Kayo instructed.

“Sorry,” I told Scott in preparation for kicking his butt.

“Don’t be,” he scoffed. “Do your worst.”

I started walking.

“Oh, look at me, an innocent-” 

John snorted. I ignored him.

“-unarmed girl, all alone on this dark, dark street. It would be so terrible if someone was to grab me right about now...”

Scott struck, looping his arm around my neck and another around my waist. 

I went limp and he fumbled to catch me, seizing the opportunity I lifted my foot and stamped down on his toes.

“Oww, dammit!” 

Not giving a second I slammed my elbow into his stomach and jumped, smacking the top of my head into his chin. When he let go to grab his chin I spun round and went for his chest, grabbing and twisting.

“She went for the nipple cripple!” Alan screamed in delight as Scott screamed in pain.

I let go and dragged him into a hug. “I’m sorry, I’m so sorry, you told me to fight!”

Scott accepted the hug, still whimpering pathetically.

“I said I was sorry, you know I love you!” I stroked his head getting a handful of gel which I sneakily wiped on his shirt when I patted his back.

“At least she kept it above waist height,” John commented.

“Well, that was…” Kayo started.

I waited. 

“Unorthodox and creative, but a woman wouldn't fight like that. Care to take me on?”

“Sure,” I shrugged. Nothing like taking down the big bro to give you a little confidence..

“Show me how you’d take on a female attacker.”

“Give me a second!” I stuck my hand in John’s pocket and retrieved the hairband I kept there for emergencies and tied my hair back.

“OK, I’m ready. Come at me!”

Kayo launched at me and I was immediately on the defensive. I head back, hands up, nails like claws.

“What are you doing?” Gordon asked.

“Cat fight, baby!”

“Cat fight?” Alan whispered to John who shrugged.

“Your hair looks awful today and those pants make your butt look huge!” I yelled at her.

“What?” she paused before aiming a punch my way but I screamed in her face and ducked, making her jump.

“Those boots give you cankles!” I kicked her in the shin and she yelped, hopping on one foot for a second, rubbing her leg.

I scrambled to my feet and grabbed her by the ponytail, yanking hard.

“Get off!” she yelled trying to spin out of my grip.

I let go and literally kicked her butt. I never go for the back, go for the butt, they never expect it. The sole of my foot hit her square on the cheeks and she stumbled in shock. That was my cue. I leapt on her back, screaming my best Xena impression, throwing all my weight on her, riding her down to the floor. I wound her hair around my fist and leaning all my weight on her shoulders, I pinned her down.

“That is not how bad guys fight!” she yelled, squirming.

“No, it's how London girls fight. I take it you’ve never been in a drunken cat fight with someone who thinks you stole her lipstick? You’re just lucky I didn't unleash my claws and go for the eyes, or smash your face into the floor.”

I got up off her back and helped her up.

“That was dirty,” she scowled at me. “I do not have cankles.”

“I did warn you all.”

“What are cankles?” John asked Alan, who shrugged.

“You don’t have a big butt either,” I promised her. “I was just trash talking.”

“Can you girls do that again?” Gordon asked, grinning at us. “Maybe have a pillow fight too?”

Kayo and I didnt dignify that with an answer.

“I think it’s time we teach you some basics,” John insisted.

“You still don’t believe I can take care of myself?” I huffed, folding my arms.

“Oh we know you can, but just in case you aren't attacking drunk people-”

“Hey! They always attack me first!”

“You still need to learn some real self defense,” Scott finished for him.

“Real self defence? How are your moobs, my man?”

“Oww, you’re mean when you fight,” Gordon accused.

“I...I do not have moobs!” he turned away, anxiously smoothing his hand over his pecs, just to be sure.

“Yeah, OK supermodel, you’re out of here,” Kayo ordered. “You guys too. We’re gonna start running through some basics. So, unless you want to be the attacker again, I suggest you get going.”

They got gone.

It was easier without them there and Kayo is actually a really good teacher. One day I might even be able to fight off a bad guy without resorting to a crotch shot. A girl can dream.

[fanfic-inator795]

What kind of jobs do you think the turtles whould have?

Oooh, this is a fun question! ^v^ I’ll start with the easy ones first and go from there

(warning, this got preeeeetty long, lol)

Mikey: So uhhhhh *casually self-promotes my 2019 Big Bang fic*

Yeahhhh, while he totally still does art and DJing as hobbies/occasion side gigs like if someone wants to commission him or hire him for a party, but I truly believe that his love of cooking combined with the discovery that mutant/yokai restaurants are a thing are enough for him to want to be a professional chef. 

He works at Run of the Mill starting at 13 and stays there till he’s 19. From there, he travels the world, working at restaurants both on the surface and hidden down below, gaining experience/food knowledge/cooking techniques (as well as a bunch of friends and connections) and saving all the cash he can. By the time he returns home, he’s ready to open up his own restaurant - and despite him not being able to afford a huge, fancy place at first, it quickly gains popularity as one of the best places to eat in NYC no matter what you are - yokai, mutant or human!

Donnie: I like to think that he’s eventually able to either enroll in a Hidden City university or take online courses like his 87′ counterpart. Once he has his doctorate (and yeah he makes everyone call him Dr. Donnie for like a week after he gets it. The others don’t mind too much since they know how hard he worked to get it, but again they only do it for a week), he pretty much jumps around on projects, being a ‘freelance scientist’ as it were.

Sometimes he’ll be paid to work at a certain lab on a certain project, other times he’ll just work on inventions or designs for cars/computers/etc. on his own and then try to sell them. As for how successful he is, well... let’s just say he doesn’t have to make Shelldon hack ATMs anymore. 

If he ever decides that he’s tired of being an inventor or just wants to retire early, I could see him doing several things. Being a science teacher is one possibility (he does love explaining stuff), another is going into local theatre and being a minor actor (not as glamorous as the movies, but Splints is still proud), maybe even meeting up with Bullhop and being in a couple of his ballets. 

Or maybe he becomes a science museum curator, or a librarian down in the Mystic Library (oh man he would LOVE that), or a video game designer, or maybe he just gets really world and decides he’s going to go all Evil Mad Scientist for a couple months and try to take over the world, just to see if he could. Honestly, with Donnie, he has the talent to do anything he wanted to.

Raph: While pro-wrestling would probably be the easiest answer, as well as the one that makes the most sense, like with Mikey’s art and DJing I could see that being just a hobby/part-time job rather than a career. Yeah, Raph loves fighting and wrestling, but I feel like if he tried to do that ALL the time he’d burn himself out. Fighting is a fun thrill for him, but where’s the thrill in curbstomping 90% of the human opponents he’d face in the ring? And with how barbaric the Battle Nexus is, that would be out of the question too - he wouldn’t want to be hurt, and he wouldn’t want to seriously hurt or kill anyone else.

Nah, I think whatever career Raph ends up having, it’ll be working with kids. He’s an awesome big brother with a ton of patience, encouragement and enthusiasm, and while his own now-adult brothers don’t always need him, there’s plenty of little yokai and mutant kids that do need someone like that. I could see him being a coach for some little league/junior team, or heck maybe even a gym teacher or martial arts master. He and Buddy/Frankenfoot teach the kiddos how to safely spar, and for those who struggle with physical activity, he gives them easier exercises to do and tells them that the most important thing is to try. 

Another job I could see him having wouldn’t technically be a ‘career’ but I could see Raph doing it with no shame whatsoever: Teddy Bear Town employee (probably the manager). I mean... come on, Raph would freaking LOVE that job. He helps kids pick out the perfect bear/accessories, and he just loves seeing them go home happy. The 10% employee discount is pretty sweet too. Also, you just know that if some entitled parent came in and started being rude to his co-workers or tried to shame kids (”You can’t get that, you’re a boy and that’s for girls!” crap like that), he’d tell them to knock it off or get thrown tf out, no hesitation.

Honestly though, out of all his brothers, Raph is the most into being a ‘hero’ so if having an actual paid job doesn’t work out, he’d probably be pretty content just being a ninja/vigilante and stopping baddies around NYC, usually going solo but occasionally being joined by his bros and April for old time’s sake. A less angsty version of the Nightwatcher, perhaps?

Leo: Hooooo boy, this is definitely a tough one...

This boy loves being the center of attention, so like with Raph you’d think that the obvious choice would be Battle Nexus Fighter, just like his daddy. But uh, even if you ignore the unfortunate implications of what Lou went through while imprisoned there (and how he’d probably be pretty damn against it if Leo tried to make that his career) as well as the dangers in the Nexus, I have a feeling that by the time this season’s over, Leon’s not gonna want anything to do with Big Mama OR her Battle Nexus.

Unfortunately, there’s not a ton of options for Leon. Unlike his brothers, he doesn’t have a ton of hobbies or interests that can translate into a career. He’s good at skateboarding, martial arts and basketball, so if the Hidden City has any pro sports teams he could maybe get into those, but again idk if he’d want to do that full time, even with the adoring fans. He likes sci-fi and Jupiter Jim, so maybe he’d try to be an actor in a sci-fi franchise, buuuut that’s pretty much a pipedream. Splinter was lucky enough to make it big as an actor, but idk if Leo would be that lucky.

So where does that leave our blue boi? ...Honestly, I could kinda see him being a radio personality or a podcaster. The kid’s got a ton of charm and a pretty likable personality, not to mention his wit. On the right format, he could gain fans fast, and all while pretty much doing his own thing. 

He’s also really good at planning/strategizing (’Many Unhappy Returns’, ‘Lair Games’) as well as calming down conflict (as seen a bit in��‘You Got Served’), buuuut idk what jobs those skills could apply to that Leo would also be interested in. So for now, I’m gonna say he alternates between doing radio/podcasts and being a ninja/vigilante alongside Raph. But hey, I’d love to hear suggestions from you guys! ^v^

Aaaaand of course April majors in journalism and eventually becomes an awesome newscaster/investigative reporter ^v^ But hey, that’s a given, heh.

So yeah, those are all my ideas on what jobs the boys could have, should they decide to become members of human/yokai society instead of just being super awesome ninjas of the night and the heroes of NYC. 

[hypnosis-micrpohone-things]

Those Rap Battle Headcanons were amazing ^^ Please could I get some of the same situation but with the Buster Bros?? Thank you so much ^^ 💕💕

Those were so much fun! Of course I’ll do it, hun!

Buster Bros vs. S/O Hypmic Battle!

Ichiro

This battle would take place at the instance of his brothers.

Saburo thinks s/o could easily take Ichiro down, but Jiro says s/o would be the one going down.

So, naturally, the two decide they should just go ahead and battle to settle it for the boys. And totally not because they got into an argument about it themselves.

The battle would probably be in or around the Yamada residence.

I can just picture them in the living room, the younger boys sitting on the couch with some popcorn while Ichiro and his s/o stand in a cleared out space in front of them.

The battle would start out slow, neither wanting to injure the other.

But as time goes on the battle gets more and more intense. Neither are particularly reserved with each other, so they know each other well enough to get some good blows in.

However, the one thing s/o will not do is use their knowledge of his brothers against him in battle. That’s off-limits.

Since they are such a huge part of his life, that’s a big chunk of him that they can’t use, putting his s/o at a major disadvantage.

That doesn’t mean they give up, though! They have to prove that they are the best, and show Saburo was the winner!

Once the pictures start falling off the walls Ichiro will call it off, calling a truce. (Much to the boys’ disappointment.)

Honestly, he doesn’t want the house to fall apart or see his brothers get hurt. And he was pretty hurt himself at this point, though he’d never admit it.

He would go pick up the picture that fell, making sure to push the broken out of the way, and he’d hear a thud.

Ichiro would turn to Jiro and Saburo first, then he’d see where their horrified gazes are fixed.

And the panic would set in.

You bet he has Jakurai on speed dial. The doctor tells him not to move his s/o and that he would be there shortly.

Jakurai would be there in less that 5 minutes but it would feel like an eternity. All three boys are panicking, though Ichiro is desperately trying to hold it together for his brothers.

His s/o would get patched up and placed in Ichiro’s room to rest. This would be the point the boys finally relax. And Jiro starts celebrating that he won the bet.

Ichiro wouldn’t wait for his s/o to wake up. After putting the other two to bed, he would crawl into bed with his s/o to cuddle them.

He’d whisper a soft apology to them as they sleep, promising it would never happen again and that he’d make it up to them with a nice, relaxing day tomorrow.

Jiro

This battle would have started as a challenge, with his s/o overhearing a conversation he’s having with his friends.

He’d be talking about Buster Bros and bragging about how great a rapper he is. Of course, his friends hear this a lot and really pay it no mind.

That’s until his s/o busts out their own hypmic and tells him to put his money where his mouth is.

Although he’d be flustered at first, Jiro quickly agrees to the battle!

It would be after school on an empty football or soccer field. Their friends would gather on the bleachers while Jiro and his s/o take their places across from each other on the field.

One of the friends would have opted to be a referee of sorts. As soon as they give the okay it’s a no-holds-barred battle!

After all, with all the smack talking and boasting the two did beforehand, there’s no way either could hold back! Their reputations are on the line!

So the two trade blow after blow, slowly pushing each other across the field.

What’s even more interesting is that they show just how much they know about each other.

Their friends are amazed. They’ve known the two for a long time, but many of the harsh words flying are things they didn’t know.

The issue, however, it’s the same one Ichiro’s s/o faces: they won’t use his brothers.

By the time the referee calls a truce the two have been moved completely across the field from each other, both having trouble standing.

Jiro would be looking at his s/o, complete in awe of their strength, when he sees them collapse.

None of the teenagers know what to do except panic. It would take a good few minutes before someone finally figures out to call for an ambulance.

They would both end up going to the hospital to get treated.

Ichiro and Saburo would show up quickly, probably as they are being unloaded from the ambulance. They’d be happy Jiro was conscious, but worried for is s/o who wasn’t yet.

Ichiro would go with Jiro and ask Saburo to stay in the waiting room, asking for him to listen for any information about s/o.

Jiro would be treated and released, and they would find out s/o would have to stay overnight but that they are alright.

Jiro would be scolded as soon as they get home, but Ichiro also promises to help him find a way to make it up to his s/o when they are better.

Saburo

I could see this being some kind of experimental battle.

Like, he’d have some kind of scientific or mathematical theory he’d want to try and he’d ask his s/o to help him prove it.

Of course they agree, because they’re just as smart and curious has he is!

This battle would also take place after school, but in the gym or auditorium because the acoustics are better there.

His s/o would help him set up all the equipment and make sure everything is working before the battle begins.

Then, they start!

To set a control, they’d start out nice and easy. No need to rush into things when you’re looking for something specific.

After a minute or two Saburo would give the cue that they could start taking it up a notch.

As things intensify it becomes more a battle of wits than anything else.

Both are quite intelligent and quick witted. It would be quite the sight to behold if anyone else was there to see it.

Good think it’s being recorded by several different scientific instruments!

The thing is...Saburo is pretty much a genius. It’s hard to outwit him, and his s/o is no exception.

They try so hard but they just can’t match him in battle. (Not yet!)

Saburo would call it off when he thinks he’s got all the necessary data. He’d go check out some of the findings before noticing his s/o is not with him.

He’d turn and find them collapsed, reaching out in his direction.

He may not be a dense teenager, but he’s still a kid! So instead of calling or running for help, he chooses to call Ichiro.

Who promptly tells him to hang up and call an ambulance, and that he’d be there soon.

So, Saburo follows his directions while attempting to check his s/o’s vital signs, although he’s fat too nervous to do it properly.

Ichiro would arrive as the ambulance does and they’d all go to the hospital together.

Jiro would eventually show up as well and the older two would comfort Saburo as they wait for worked about his s/o’s condition.

They’d find out they are fine, then wait for them to wake up. They’d visit quickly, not wanting to take up so much time so they could rest.

Unlike Jiro, Saburo wouldn’t get scolded so much. But his big brothers would still help him find a way to make it up to his s/o.

[the-angriestpineapple]

brewed & beards - ch 2

Jobs are needed to buy food and Kiri finds out that Mina knows Bakugou.

Chapter Two - Groceries Aren’t Free

The first week of school was pretty exciting for Kirishima. He and his friends quickly realized that while the cafeteria options came with the food plan they had, the selection wasn’t that great. They enthusiastically bought groceries since Kiri was a passable chef – he felt like he had to be, considering what he wanted to do with his life – but there was one simple hangup with grocery shopping.

“We need jobs.” Mina announced as she entered their room without knocking. She flopped over Denki and Hanta’s legs, where they had been sitting on Denki’s bed.

“What the hell Mina, what if we were naked or something?” Hanta extracted his legs out from under their pink-haired best friend. Mina propped herself up on an elbow, resting her head in her palm.

“And why, pray tell, would the three of you be naked at four in the afternoon, together?” She grinned wickedly as Hanta blushed.

“You know what I mean!”

Mina rolled her eyes and slid off the bed (and her friends) to go throw herself on Kirishima’s bed. Kiri was cooking the last of their rice in a microwave rice steamer and miso soup on a small hot plate and glanced at her.

“She’s right guys. If we don’t want to eat cafeteria trash we have to get some jobs.” Kiri stirred the miso soup slowly, glancing from Mina to the boys. “I actually have an interview lined up at this chain gym up the road, so hopefully I’ll have one by tomorrow.”

“Good for you man! Maybe we should troll around town tomorrow and see what we can find too. I’m sure there’s gotta be some jobs we can get. I mean, who wouldn’t hire me?” Denki smirked and mocked fluffing his hair. Hanta shoved him, making him fall over on the bed. “Ow, hey!”

“Pikachu has a good idea though.” Hanta grinned at Denki, who was grumbling and rubbing his arm. Denki had partially earned that nickname when he dyed a stripe of black in his blonde hair, but mostly when tried to see what would happen if he touched an electric fence. Kiri thought Mina was going to die from laughing so hard.

Kiri beamed at his friends. “Yeah bros! You guys totally got this, anywhere would be super lucky to have you.” He pulled four rice bowls and four soup bowls from the small shelf over their microwave, ladling the miso out for his friends. “Now come eat something, and if I get this job tomorrow I’ll get something really good to make for dinner.”

“Deal!” Mina hopped up and grabbed the bowl, hissing lightly. “Ow, hot hot hot hot...” She gingerly sat crosslegged on the floor and put the bowl down. “Damn Kiri, do you know a food temperature other than lava?”

Kirishima shrugged and smiled, then began to spoon rice into the accompanying bowls. Once everyone had their food and Mina had dumped hot sauce on her rice, they ate their meager dinner together on the floor. Kirishima felt like he wouldn’t want to lose this feeling for the world.

---

He was hired on the spot the next day. His bright attitude and nice physique translated well into working the front desk, but his career goals and experience allowed him to also take on some easy clients as an (almost) personal trainer. Mostly just students who were just starting to work out, and he was mostly just spotting them and making sure they followed the routine the actual trainer gave them, but he was totally fine with that. He had to start somewhere! He decided to celebrate by going to the coffee house and getting a hot chocolate despite having actively tried to not set foot in there all week. Every time he thought about it, he saw a flashing pair of red eyes and his knees would get a little weak.

The door chimed as he walked into the coffee house and he moved up to the register, eyes immediately looking for Bakugo but not seeing him. Kiri couldn’t tell if he was relieved or disappointed.

“Hey, welcome, what can I get you?” It was Jirou manning the register again, like last time, and Kiri fixed her with a huge smile.

“Hey! One large hot chocolate please.”

“And a caramel latte.”

Kiri turned to see the grinning face of Mina right behind him. He rolled his eyes but smiled and nodded. “And a caramel latte, also large.” He ruffled his best friend’s bubblegum pink hair and she grinned. He paid for the drinks and moved down the counter, where he could vaguely hear Mina asking if the coffee shop was hiring. There was someone else who seemed to be making his order so it really didn’t seem like Bakugou was here today. Kirishima inwardly sighed. Damn.

Mina bounced into his space and grabbed his arm. “Jirou hired me on the spot! I start tomorrow! They apparently really need the help.” She giggled and looped her arm into his. “How did your gym interview go?”

Kiri grinned and ducked his head. “Yeah, they hired me on the spot too. I will be doing some front desk work, and some training work.”

Mina squealed and landed a smack of her lips on his cheek. “That’s so great! You so deserve it! And now we get to have a good dinner tonight.”

Kiri chuckled and nodded. He pulled out his phone to skim through recipes, having an idea of what he wanted to make, so he wasn’t entirely paying attention to his surroundings. One would think he’d learn his lesson.

“Oh hey Bakugou, I didn’t know you worked here.”

Mina’s voice broke through his internal recipe dialogue and he looked up. Sure enough, there was the blonde, holding two large to go cups with one eyebrow raised at them. “Yeah, I do. Hot chocolate and caramel latte?” When Mina nodded he handed her the cups, and his eyes flicked to Kirishima. The heat that radiated out of them was almost too much, or was that just Kiri blushing? He really couldn’t be sure.

“You got a weird choice in girlfriends, shitty hair.” He remembered me! Probably not what Kiri should be focused on, especially after the words registered. Mina was already ahead of him though.

“Oh no, I’m just a best friend. I’m not really his type.” She grinned at the blonde, unwinding her arm from Kiri’s and passing him his cocoa.

“That so. Well, see you in chem.” He turned and walked into the back, and Kiri realized he wasn’t breathing.

“You… you know him?”

Mina nodded. “Yeah. He’s a chemistry major like me. He seems to be more fixated on making things explode though. It’ll be an interesting semester.” However she was giving Kirishima a very knowing glance, and he felt his cheeks flush harder. “Let’s head out, I want to see how Hanta and Denki are doing with their job hunting.” She deftly looped her arm into his and dragged him out the door. Kiri didn’t notice that Bakugou had come back out from the back room and was frowning as he watched them leave.

They found Hanta quickly, who had an interview at a copy shop. Denki took a little longer to find but he also had an interview at an electronics store. Mina immediately opened her mouth and Kiri slapped his hand over it. He knew she’d made some mention of the electric fence and he didn’t want Denki to get all strung out and nervous. He turned into a total idiot when he did.

“Congrats man, I’m sure you’ll get it- hey! Gross, Mina!” Kiri wiped his hand on Mina’s jacket. She’d licked him.

“So it looks like we all have jobs or are getting jobs! Yay us!” She punched the air with her fist, her cheeks flushing as pink as her hair. “Let’s go get some groceries for dinner! What are you making Kiri?”

Kirishima shrugged. “I’m not sure. You guys have any suggestions?”

Of course they did. The three shouted and fought over what they wanted Kirishima to make all the way to the grocery store.