#he’d blast that shit in a car like it’s the last time

[alleyross]

theo would listen to adam lambert religiously

[bettyfrommars]

A little something inspired by this edit by @somnambulic-thing of what I imagine as a version of a mechanic!Eddie, but he's also biker!Eddie to me, or anything you want.

mechanic!Eddie x Reader

18+Only, secret work crush, gender neutral reader, just some yearning fluff with mention of weed and alcohol, bit of slut shaming, some sage advice from Wayne.

word count: 1.7k

Eddie had been staring at the door to the office and zoning out for a while when you opened it to step into the bay, and his unblinking gaze accidentally lingered at your midsection.

“What’s wrong?” You glanced down at your outfit, thinking maybe your zipper was open or something worse. There were three other mechanics besides Eddie there that day, each of them knee deep in the hustle and bustle of the busy season.  A boombox on one of the tall, red cubbies blasted hard rock while an electric drill buzzed.  

His attention snapped back to the bolt he was crouched down to tighten on the rim of a Ford Bronco.  

“Nothing,” he grunted, cranking the ratchet so that the muscles on his tattooed bicep bulged. He had on his signature summer uniform of black coveralls with the sleeves ripped off.  His hair was tied back in a pony with a navy-blue bandana on his head, making it easier to slip his welding helmet on and off.  “I didn’t know you were working today.”

Now, that was a big fat lie.  Spotting your car in the parking lot when he came in every morning was one of those things that set his day right.  You’d taken Thursday off the week before, and he’d moped around in a bad mood for the entire shift.  

Almost four months you’d been working in the office, and he still hadn’t summoned the nerve to ask you out.  Instead, he drank too much after a show at the Hideout one night and ended up letting some random chick crawl all over him.  The next day, the guys he worked with would make it sound more serious than it actually was.

“Soooo Munson, I heard you got lucky with Deep Throat Dana last night. They say she can suck an orange out of a tailpipe!” 

And then the entire shop broke out into wheezing laughter like a bunch of hyenas, as if something funny was said.

It made him cringe, and he cast a side glance to see if you were within earshot.  “Nothing happened with that girl,” he wanted to say to you.  “We kissed, but I just couldn’t…ya know?”

But also, why did he feel the need to explain himself to you? It was as if he was being faithful to a dream.  You’d never give him the time of day out in the real world.  Sure, you knew just how he liked his coffee, and you asked him questions about DnD and his band as if you were interested.  But, you were just being nice—he could tell.  At first he thought he was special, but quickly realized that you treated everyone the same.  You were, in fact, a thoughtful, likable person.  Surely your only interest in him was as co-workers, nothing more.  

Also, he could hear Wayne’s voice in his head: “Don’t shit where you eat, son.” 

It was his uncle's long-standing advice to never get involved with a coworker, and Eddie just happened to agree.  If he was ever lucky enough to take you on a few dates and then you dumped him or broke his heart, he wasn’t sure he could work at the garage anymore.  On the bright side, he also had a CDL to operate heavy equipment, so maybe that would be his cue to become a long-haul trucker.  

Deep breath Munson, you’re getting way ahead of yourself.

You hesitated in the doorway for a beat with Mrs. Chadwick’s paperwork for the Oldsmobile sedan in your hand, wanting to ask Eddie how his day was going.  But then he sank down onto the creeper and rolled under the vehicle as if to avoid you in a hurry.  

You really didn’t know what to make of him. 

One second, you’d be certain he was flirting, but then later that day, he’d huff out the door without even so much as a wave. He’d tease you about things, like your collection of random motel pens or the music you liked, and then you’d give the energy right back and wait for that gremlin smile to spread across his face. 

The other day, he’d left your favorite candy bar on the desk for you to find.  You knew it was him because he was the only one in Hawkins you’d told.  How the topic of sweets came up, you weren’t sure, but you’d never forget the curious narrowing of his eyes when he asked which one you liked best.

You had this strange feeling that he was secretly studying you.

The other night you were sitting across from your friend Tina, having burgers and beers at The Hideaway, when Eddie just happened to breeze in.

Your heart stuttered, whatever you’d been saying dying on your lips, completely losing your train of thought. The vinyl in the booth squeaked as you craned your neck to watch him. That was the first time you’d ever seen him in street clothes without coveralls on, and it was raining, so his long hair was soaked.  He greeted the woman at the cash register, and you were too far away to hear, but apparently he was there to pay and pick up his takeout order in a big brown sack with greasy handprints on it.  You thought about waving him down to ask if he wanted to join the two of you, but he did his business in a hurry and didn’t seem to want to be noticed.

“What’s going on?” Tina asked, gaze darting from you to the Dio patch on Eddie’s back as he exited the building.  She munched a french fry before wiping ketchup off her lip.  “Did something happen between you and Eddie?”

You snapped a look at her.  “You know him?”

“Well, not intimately,” she ate another fry.  “But I went to school with him, and bought weed from him a few times.”

“He sells weed?” You cocked an eyebrow, pleasantly surprised.

“It’s been like, a while, but maybe he still does.  How do you know him?”

“We work together,” you brought the half-eaten burger up for a bite and paused there.  “I think he hates me.”

“I highly doubt that.” And then she stared pointedly at you when she said, “he’s cute,” with a knowing smirk. 

“Ha,” you adjusted the napkin on your lap. “Well, as you know, I plan to stay single for the rest of my life.”

“Sure, sure.”

When it got closer to 6 that day, you scrambled to get off the phone with a customer, worried Eddie might slip out again and you wouldn’t see him for the entire weekend. After hiding in the supply closet for a full minute to avoid Phil—one of the other mechanics who liked to talk your ear off—you finally made it to the break room, panting as if you’d just run a marathon.

Eddie was there, bent over to snatch a Pepsi out of the vending machine.  Freezing in place, you suddenly forgot how to form words.

Eddie felt like an idiot, like for sure you’d caught on to the fact that he’d been finding shit to do for the past half hour just so he could be there to have some private time with you.  He didn’t like the idea of you closing up the shop by yourself, especially now that it was getting darker sooner. 

And then fucking Phil wouldn’t leave. His wife had relatives visiting, and he was shuffling around like a sad puppy trying to avoid going home.  Eddie had to pretend he needed to take a shit just to get rid of him, and was halfway surprised the dude didn’t follow him into the bathroom.

He usually brought his own lunch, but the snack and soda machines were always tempting.  He knew how to open the damn things up and thought about doing some last minute grocery shopping to make up for his crappy wage.  

You cleared your throat.  “So, what are you up to this weekend?  Any fun plans?”

Eddie pulled his shoulders back and spun around at the sound of your voice, fisting the can in one hand and running the other through his hair.  He’d been growing his bangs out, and they were just long enough to tuck behind his ears.  The length was so fucking annoying at times that he’d often considered chopping them to nubs.    

You were smiling at him, eyes bright and sincere, and it made him feel all fuzzy inside like his brain was made of cotton candy.

“My day was good. You?” That was what came out of his mouth, and then he let out a silent, internal scream that made his ears ring. 

But he recovered quickly. “I mean, I don’t have any plans.  I don’t usually have…I mean, my buddy Jeff and I might go see a movie, but not like major plans.”  He didn’t want to tell you he was taking a trip out to Rick’s on Sunday to beef up his supply for weekly customers.  He sure as hell couldn’t restore the van on the chump change he made at the garage. 

You stared at him intently, softening when you realized he was nervous.  

How could that be?  Did you make him nervous?

You pulled a folded piece of paper out of your back pocket and held it up.  “I found this at the laundromat.  It says your band is playing at The Hideout on Tuesday.  Is that still happening?”

Pinched between your thumb and forefinger was one of the handmade fliers Gareth had helped him make.  

“Well we…yes-–” he cracked open the lid of the soda and it fizzed everywhere, dripping down his arm and onto the linoleum floor. “Shit, I’ll clean that up, don’t worry.”

He didn’t want you to get stuck having to get the mop out to clean again, so he put the leaking can down on the lunch table and went over to grab something to wipe it up.  

He busied himself with sopping up the mess, albeit poorly, while you inched closer.

“I think I might stop by and check you guys out,” you saw that his face was red when he stood, chocolate orbs lit up in anticipation.  “Maybe we could have a beer or something after?”

His cotton candy brain tried to filter his next thought, but it was too late.  “What are you doing tonight?”

“Tonight?” You blinked a few times.  “Is your band playing somewhere tonight too?”

“No, but I—” the tip of his tongue slipped side to side between his lips.  “If you’re not busy tonight maybe we could go somewhere to eat or drink or hang out or something.”

“Or something,” a grin quivered in the corner of your mouth. 

And then the two of you were just standing there, close enough for your breathing to fall into sync. Gathering up a nice helping of nerve, you reached an arm out and ran the back of your knuckles down the front of his shirt.

Eddie was vibrating.

Don’t shit where you eat, son.

No disrespect Uncle, but fuck the job.

“Anything," he said softly, hope blossoming in his chest like those wildly palpitating hearts in cartoons.  “Anything you want.”

[wyngigi]

ꕀ LUST FOR LIFE ꕀ 04

↳ sex money feelings die remastered .ᐟ cross posted on ao3

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“ they say only the good die young, that just ain't right 'cause we're having too much fun, too much fun tonight ”

↳ synopsis: a group of individuals find that their first taste of freedom in the world brings more obstacles than expected. some of them, find solace by drowning in liquor or in the backseat of somebody else’s car. a lot of them have got to get their shit together. a lot of them won't.

mdni » story contains nsfw content intended for 18+ audiences pairings » member specific, not listed for spoiler purposes ↳󠁪󠁪 ateez x female reader, ateez x ateez ↳ genre » coming of age ↳ word count » 2.3k ↳ general warnings » substance abuse & consumption, sexual content, morally grey characters, unreliable narrators, internalised homophobia, angst, basically every struggle young adolescence can go through ↳ a/n┆i hope u guys love this chapter as much as i do !! a little blast from the past always has me excited <3 p.s let me know which pairings ur rooting for after reading hehe (and yes next chapter we will be back at the party dont worry the drama has just begun)

04⌇memories of summer bring you

As San weaves his way through the crowd, past the drunken bodies of guys and girls alike, he finds himself reminiscing in just how much he had changed the past few years. Was it okay to live a life like he was right now? He’s not too sure. San first thinks of high school, then his thoughts float to you.

San watches the clock tick above his teacher’s desk, mind wandering as he scribbles on his worksheet with a ballpoint pen. He’s trapped in a god-awful environmental science class (which mind you would’ve been a free period instead), courtesy of not taking enough science courses earlier on to hit the credit minimum. It’s torturous, making him study about the world in a stuffy classroom when he could be out there learning by simply living in it.

San might just be a little salty, but the lesson isn’t actually that interesting either, so his mind has been elsewhere the last half hour. He’ll listen when it actually gets important, maybe. First he was daydreaming about buying a motorcycle and speeding off into the sunset, away from this boring sad old town to go live some larger-than-life bullshit.

Then he thought it’d be too lonely to do by himself, so he brainstormed an alternative. If he were ever able to do it, he’d probably try convincing someone to come with him. He hasn’t even finished his senior year, yet his ideas still don’t seem all that crazy to him. It might be farfetched to others, but San disagrees. If you aren’t dreaming big, could it even be considered a dream at all?

Then he starts wondering if his thoughts are too reckless most, if not all of the time, if attempting to move through life hastily would be too irresponsible and could scare the people around him. But he really doesn’t want to miss out on living, San wants to go see and do the things you have to go out of your way to experience. Something you make the journey for to begin with, not just a simple detour.

The type of stuff you have to just hold your breath for and jump into with no regret before it’s too late, the tide retreating, water becoming far too shallow. (He truly wasn’t lying earlier when he said he loves to be on the move, or that the thrill of exploring had always been dangerously enticing to him.) Those mantras, principles, whatever you wish to call them replay in his mind daily. They always have.

San knows the world won’t slow down and wait for him too. He sees it outside the classroom window right now, how the cars still pass down the street as the birds fly high into the sky even if he’s confined to his seat. San is well aware that it’s him who has to be the one to take the leap of faith and choose to start living. The problem is that sometimes he just can’t.

When San would think about the daredevils, adrenaline junkies, risk takers of the world, those who love to live on the edge of things, preparing for their big take off, he’d think of how he would love to be like that someday. Yeah, someday. The difference was he liked staying on the edge too much. Didn’t like the feeling of climbing to the highest point just for the glory if he could end up tipping over, see himself falling down and lose control of everything in the process.

When third period ends San makes his way out of class then down the hall, stopping at his locker so he can drop off the notebook and stationery he no longer needs till after his second lunch break. San knows he has PE next, so he quickly grabs his gym clothes. It’s not that he cares much about being late for it or missing out on any of the “action” though, he only really enjoys it depending on what sport they’re playing.

He likes the sports where his only role is to defend whenever a ball or something comes his way. It’s why he thinks volleyball is torture; trying his best to stay in his position once his team scores but then somebody is already telling him to hurry up and rotate. Those days are just endless cycles of torture. Actually, were.  He started to sit in the nurse’s office on those days.

It’s a good thing they’re doing netball today (he doesn’t have any more passes to sit in the med bay now). San has a lot of fun playing it. He’s even claimed the goalkeeper bib before anyone else can so much that whoever he plays with just lets him have it. The people he usually plays with are good enough to the point where the opposing team never even gets to his third of the court.

Goalkeeper suits him for that exact reason, he enjoys getting to win without even having to take a shot with the ball. San liked how it was so much he didn’t think or want to try being a goal attacker or centre. Well, maybe sometimes he did a little. There were a couple instances where he wanted to try a different role for the first time. San had gotten as close as picking up a different position bib even. Thoughts like that were shoved away quickly however, and the bib would end thrown back into the crate. The mere possibility of letting anyone down in case he was terrible outweighed his curiosity (and potential) on multiple occasions.

Failure was a funny thing; it had given him a terrible feeling that would sit in the pit of his stomach or make him so nauseous it was awfully dizzying. The funnier thing was that San had never truly failed at anything in life, simply because he had never tried much to begin with. That was the case, for quite some time in his life as he knew it. He had been growing more than okay with that knowledge as time passed, then one day he wasn’t.

As he turned away from his locker, San spotted you walking the opposite way to your own fourth period class, clearly getting ready to ditch the rest of the day. His heartbeat had sped up and his palms were awfully sweaty but for the first time ever, he shut out every reasoning voice in his head and chose to do something he never had the courage to before.

The two of you were in the same grade, so he had seen you passing by in the hallways always with both earphones in (to drown out everyone else he assumes, you never talked to anyone when you had them in while carrying an almost sorrow expression). Despite how you looked, you would still be humming away to a tune he could never fully quite catch.

He also knew your lunch times were spent eating shitty snacks from the vending machines and that you really liked the strawberry lollipops from the cafeteria (which they only sold every Friday for some fucked up reason, he overheard you complaining about it to your friends in math).

San would also see you after school with all of your cooler, older friends too. You would all huddle around the corner near the bike racks in the parking lot, out of sight from teachers so you could bum cigarettes off of each other. You’d also listen to music while you were there, only with one earphone in though so you could still hear everyone talk. He liked seeing that, you always looked happy and smiley talking to your friends.

The two of you weren’t complete strangers, but nowhere close enough where he could feel safe calling you his friend either. You shared multiple classes with San, greeting him with a small smile when you’d walk by his seat to get to your own (he liked that you’d always say hi to him even when he never did first). The both of you even worked on group projects together, but that wasn’t enough for him. He wanted to know more about you, to take even the smallest peek at the inner workings of your mind. To find out how you always seemed to not care when things went wrong.

He thinks of your reaction when you would fail a test, how you’d simply shrug before shoving the paper into the bottom of your backpack. Immediately after, smiling as you’d turn around to talk to your friends about whatever you all planned to do that weekend. Stuff like that didn’t make much sense to him. Why would you not opt out of hanging out just for one weekend and study harder to do better on the next test like he would?

San supposes that’s what separates the two of you into vastly different worlds, yet he wants nothing more than to just step over that line and join you.

When he had spotted you there, on that humid summer day in early June a feeling had begun to settle into his stomach again. The strange bit was that it didn’t feel humiliating nor demeaning, but there was still something unsettling about it. It felt extremely foreign at first but now, incredibly comforting. Because for once, it didn’t feel like failure.

So, he then decided to call out to you. It was the very first time he had ever greeted you, without you doing it first. Your name exceedingly foreign on his tongue when coming out of his mouth while you weren’t sitting at your desks in a shared class. You had turned around at the noise, both earphones still blasting music into your ears.

Once you had recognised who the voice belonged too, you immediately had taken out both of your earphones with a smile. The tune he had never been able to fully hear, was now playing into the world for him to hear freely. He felt the corners of his mouth beginning to prick upwards at that. Yet with no plan of what words he would say now, San was immediately regretting his choice to speak to you. His fists were balled up in front of him, grip tightening on his clothes ever so slightly as he lowers his eyes down away from you.

The edge he always treads so carefully on was now unstable and he felt it beginning to crack already. You don’t leave him any more time to freak out over it though. When he looks up, he sees you already opening your mouth to say hello in the soft tone you always use, ushering him over.

“Hey, San. You want to come skip with me?”

The cool breeze flowing through the corridor, cooling down his cheeks just had to heat up again when he locked eyes with you, of course they did. Because San had always found everything about you pretty, from the first time he ever saw you. Not a day would there be a doubt in his mind of that. But, in that very moment he found you strikingly beautiful. In a split second, where his brain and his heart finally worked in unison he had responded hurriedly, before he could overthink it and regret it for the rest of his days.

“Yeah, I do. I’ll come along,” As he chucked his gym clothes back into his locker, a switch had been flicked on in his mind. When he turned around and saw you then, one lollipop in your mouth and a second in your hand, held out to him, a realisation had been thrown into his face like a bucket of ice-cold water. San had ultimately discovered that dancing on the edge was fun, yet leaping off it was much better. Even if the water was too shallow down below, San thinks he would be okay with that.

While walking away from the gym and instead down the hall with you by his side, San had spotted your earphones tangled up and peeking out of your backpack. That day, he settled with the fact that maybe it was okay to be a little too reckless, to move a tad too fast. Even if it could scare people, even if it scared him.

If you asked San what made him love that summer far more than the previous ones, he might mention his drunken bike rides with you and your friends, or the nights he spent laying on the beach with you gazing at the stars. Hell, he even liked the part time job he had to take up thanks to the party you helped him throw (which ended in that broken window he had to pay for). Spending a portion of his summer working as a server wasn’t fun in theory but when you’d visit him on his breaks or pick him up after his shifts, San had found it pretty worth it in the end.

He was truly happy in every moment back then; he’s enlightened even now, because all the memories of summer bring you back to him. Despite existing only as a brief moment in his own mind, San is content because whenever he closes his eyes he finds a version of you is there with him. He’s able feel the sun on his bare skin, with your lips pressed against his own again. His favorite bit being when the lingering hint of strawberries followed as you both pulled away.

Yeah, that’s exactly when it was. Three summers ago. When San had first decided it was alright to embrace being him, to be the person he still was today. All thanks to you.

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[sunflowergirl522]

Bats

Pairing: Eddie Munson x Reader

Summary: you’re in Hawkins for the summer and you bite to show affection.

Word Count: 6109

Eddie Masterlist

You and Eddie have been dating for a while now. You went to a gig his band had and the two of you hit it off immediately. But living a few towns over from Hawkins and being in college you never got much of a chance to see him. So your relationship was mainly through the phone and letters. He’d drive over to your place every once in a while staying for a night or for the weekend but everytime you brought up going to see him he turned the thought down immediately. He was always quick to clarify that it wasn’t because he was seeing other girls or anything he just didn’t want it distracting you from your studies. You knew that though, when he was with you he’d make sure you studied even if you didn’t have a test and that you did your assignments awarding each section you did with a kiss, oftentimes more. But now it’s summer break and you’re on your way to spend a whole week in the Munson trailer.

“Why’re you so distracted today?” Max brings Eddie’s attention away from his trailer back to her as she bounces a soccer ball on her feet in front of him.

“I’m not distracted.” He rests his elbows on his knees as he leans forward.

“Then what was I saying?”

“Uh, something about Lucas’s latest fuck up.” He knows he’s wrong with his guess when she bursts into laughter.

“Dude what’s going on with you today? That wasn’t even close to being right.” She sits on the picnic table next to him. 

“Y/n’s coming to stay for the week.” Max is really the only one out of the group that he talks to about you. They all know about you of course but he likes to keep you to himself so he doesn’t bring you up that much and he’s vague when they ask about you. But since Max is like the little sister he never knew he wanted he couldn’t ever seem to shut up about you when the two of them were together.

“Oh shit that’s this week?” She’s excited to meet you but at the news that you’ll be here today her stomach twists into knots. She’d never admit it to anyone, ever, but she’s anxious about if you’ll like her or not. And she desperately wants you to because Eddie’s the big brother she always wished she could’ve had in Billy and he’s always going on about how he’s gonna marry you someday. Max would love to have you fill in the older sister she never in a million years would’ve thought she could have.

“Yeah.” The smile on Eddie’s face calms her nerves a bit, happy to see him so happy. “I don’t know when she’s gonna get here though we didn’t talk about that last night.”

“It’s still early.” She offers up with a shrug but just as she finishes talking a car with muffled music blasting pulls in next to Eddie’s van in front of the trailer. The door opens and Eddie’s face lights up like the fourth of July as you step out, closing the door with a quick shove before looking up and locking eyes with him.

“Eddie!” He’s up and catching you in his arms before Max even realizes you’re running over. You’re in his arms for all of two minutes before you turn your head to bite into his bicep causing him to laugh.

“I can’t believe you’re here, Bats.” 

“Me either, I almost got lost on my way.” You huff at the nickname before speaking. You were fine with it, thought it was cute even, until he told you about how he got the scars littering his body. ‘I can’t help it if you’re my vampire bat’ is his response when you bring up him not calling you it anymore. “I can’t wait to finally meet Wayne and everyone else.” Eddie talked about his friends a decent amount during calls and when he visited you and you’ve talked to Wayne on the phone a few times when he picked up instead of Eddie.

“Speaking of meeting everyone.” He steps back and over to reveal Max, his hand going to hold your own. “This is-”

“You must be Max!” You interrupt him knowing exactly who’s sitting in front of you. You’re all smiles and excitement that it completely erases her nerves for now and she couldn’t stop herself from matching your vibe if she wanted to.

“It’s so nice to finally meet you. He goes on and on about you so often that I feel like I know everything about you!” She gets up to stand in front of you and her words somehow make your smile bigger. You squeeze his hand needing a way to let out all of the love that’s boiling over inside of you.

“Well Eddie absolutely raves about you! Talks about you the most out of everyone so much so that’s it’s crazy to think the two of you aren’t actually related.” You had even thought she was his sister for the longest time before asking him one day when he mentioned going to her place. Something that he had stumbled over his answer because no not really but also yes because that’s exactly how he sees her.

“He does, does he?” She doesn’t let it show just how much that means to her as she looks over at him with a smirk on her face.

“Now Red don’t go blabbing that to everyone, Dustin will never let it go.” He steps forward and brings you into his side wanting more contact with you, still not completely believing that you’re here in Hawkins with him. “Do you have a lot to unpack baby?”

“No, I just have my duffel and backpack.”

“Wanna get all situated and comfortable in the trailer then?”

“But I’ve barely met Max.”

“Max can come with us if she wants, I’ll make some lunch and we can watch a movie or something. You hungry?” You only start to nod before he starts to pull you back to the trailer. “C’mon Red, the lady requests your presence.”

“I really like Max.” You say to Eddie later that night when you’re cuddling into his chest in bed. You absolutely adore her just like you knew you would.

“Good.” He kisses the top of your head before smiling up at the ceiling. He was beyond ecstatic to have you in his arms again.

“I get to meet Wayne tomorrow right?” He was working a late shift tonight but Eddie insisted that you’d be able to see him then instead of staying up all night for it.

“Yeah, he’s off tomorrow so don’t worry about missing him.”

“Okay.” You prop yourself up on your arm then body hoving above his own. “What about everyone else? When do I get to meet them?”

“Well normally I’d be going to movie night tomorrow but I think I’m gonna keep you all to myself a little bit longer.” He pulls you back down on top of him as he speaks causing you to let out a squeal and some giggles.

“No, let’s go to movie night, it'll be fun. You get to have me all to yourself the day after when you show me around.” 

“You really want to go meet everyone that badly?” Eddie’s eyes are shining as he makes eye contact with you as you place your forehead on his.

“More than anything.”

“Then I guess we can go.” He sighs out like it’s going to be the most painful thing in the world for him. You nip the tip of his nose, getting the urge to out of nowhere and his already playful eyes get a new glint in them. “Oh so that’s how it’s gonna be Bats?” He’s quick to flip you over, straddling your hips. “I give in to your begging and you bite me. How is that fair?” His hands are working into your sides before he finishes talking earning him screeching laughter in return.

“Eddie! Stop!” You gasp out the words and he pauses his ministrations just long enough for you to catch your breath and for him to slide his hands up your, his, shirt.

“What do I get if I stop?” His tone is both playful and menacing at the same time in a way that lets you know if whatever you say isn’t good enough he’ll keep going.

“I’ll give you a kiss.” He hums mock thinking about your offer, his hands roaming up and down your waist bathing in the feel of your skin on his.

“Nope, not good enough.”

“What?” You frantically try to back up to escape his hands just for him to drag you back down the bed.

“Give me a kiss and tell me you’ll love me forever.” He keeps his hands firmly on your sides and leans his face over yours.

“Of course I’ll love you forever Eddie bear.” Your voice goes soft and your arms wrap around his neck as you nuzzle his nose with your own. “Now how about that kiss?”

Eddie wakes up first the next morning with a smile on his face at having you in his arms and in his bed. The thought of getting up and leaving you crushing his soul but the thought of waking you up with breakfast in bed and being able to see you light up in gratitude urging him to do exactly that. So he pulls you closer for a minute before kissing your head and sliding out of his warm bed getting dressed and heading to the kitchen where he finds Wayne making coffee.

You don’t wake up much later than he does, the bed is still a little warm where he was sleeping when you do. You lay there for a few minutes beaming up at the ceiling that you’re actually here with him. It’s hard for you to normally be so far apart from him with your love languages being quality time and physical touch. The two of you always made up for the time apart when he would come visit but it was still rough. Which is why you’ve decided that after you graduate you’d move to Hawkins to be with him all the time. You’d been saving up long before even meeting Eddie to be able to get your own place after school so as long as he wants you here you’d do it. 

You throw on one of his shirts and a pair of pajama pants before making your way out of the room excited to finally meet Uncle Wayne. You find both him and Eddie in the kitchen with Eddie making eggs and Wayne pouring his coffee. 

“Is this the famous Y/n Y/l/n I’ve heard so much about?” Wayne smiles your way and Eddie whips around to look at you.

“Sure is!” You gnaw on your lip and shift your weight from one foot to the other wanting to go hug him like you would your own family member but hold yourself back knowing he’s not much of a physical touch kind of person.

“Bring it in kid.” He opens his arms for you and you let out a small happy laugh as you rush into them and accept the hug he offers. Something he doesn’t normally do but he doesn’t know what other way to thank you for loving his boy so much. Eddie can’t help the smile that overtakes his face as he watches it happen knowing how much it’s going to mean to you.

“What’re you doing up darlin’?” Eddie asks as he brings you into his arms after you part from Wayne. “I was gonna wake you up with breakfast.” He pouts resting his forehead on yours.

“Sorry baby, I tried waiting for you to come back but I got bored and I really wanted to meet Wayne.” You peck his still pouty lips forcing them into a smile before pulling away. “So what do you guys do around here?”

You end up spending most of the day binging The Waltons with the Munsons and doing a puzzle Wayne had lying around on the small table in the living room. By the time Eddie’s standing up and telling you it’s about time to get going for movie night you and Wayne have gotten to know each other well enough that you can tell he’s going to be fast family to you.

“Have I told you yet how pretty you look today?” Eddie asks as he holds your door open and watches you step out. You’re a sight in your jean shorts and one of Eddie’s Metallica shirts standing in Steve’s driveway in front of him. “Cause you’re pretty as a picture Bats.” He takes your hand in his own and leads the way to the door.

“I’ve told you before to stop calling me that.” You drop your lips into a fake pout as he knocks on the door.

“Why should I? I’ve got the marks from last night to prove you’re my own vampire bat.” He pulls the collar of his shirt out of the way to show off the hickeys and bite marks you left on his collarbones and shoulder a proud smile on his face as he does so.

“Woah, you burn yourself with a curling iron there Munson?” Steve teases as he opens the door, your eyes go wide and you can feel heat rising up your neck. Eddie’s unphased though, letting go of his shirt and turning to smirk at Steve.

“Can’t help it if my girl wants to latch onto me any chance she gets.” He pulls you into him and you pinch his side for his words.

“Oh, I didn’t realize we were meeting your girlfriend tonight.”

“Hi, I’m Y/n.” All you do is wave and smile as you wrap an arm around Eddie’s waist and hug yourself to him wanting to be as close to him as possible.

“I’m Steve, it’s nice to finally meet the reason for Eddie disappearing most weekends.”

“Are Eddie and y/n here?” Max appears behind Steve and you rush in to hug her.

“Max!”

“I didn’t think you guys were gonna make it.” She melts into your arms feeling deeply comforted by your bear hug. 

“Eddie didn’t want to but I convinced him to come.” The two of you break apart and Eddie comes in to stand next to you and take your hand in his. 

“Come on, now that we’re here Dustin will kill me if I don’t introduce you to him next.”

“Oh hey Eddie! Who’s this?” Robin asks him as she starts to come out of the kitchen as the two of you pass into the living room.

“Sorry Robin, can’t talk.” He keeps pulling you with him passing her by you’d stop him so you could just introduce yourself if you didn’t find the whole thing so amusing. “Dustin, I’ve got someone for you to meet.” He announces his presence getting the heads of the group already settled on the couches to turn to look at the two of you.

“No fucking way, what’s she doing here?” He excitedly gets up and makes his way over to the two of you.

“She’s here for a whole week. Y/n, Dustin, Dustin, Y/n.” His hand motions between the two of you as he does the introduction. 

“Eddie talks about you all the time.” You look away from Dustin and up at Eddie who flushes pink at yet another one of his close friends admitting that to you.

“Yeah so much so I was starting to think you were a myth!” Eddie strides over to the couch to whack Mike in the back of the head leaving you in the entranceway of the living room. You look back over to Dustin after rolling your eyes at your boyfriend's actions.

“He talks about you a lot too. I heard all about that concert in that other realm or whatever the words Eddie used were.” Your face scrunches up as you try to recall what Eddie called that place as you step into the room Dustin leading the way back over to the couch. 

“He told you about the upside down?” Dustin's eyes are wide as you nod. “And you believed him?”

“Why wouldn’t I? He’s got the scars and PTSD to prove it.” When you and Eddie first started dating and he’d spend nights at your place he often had nightmares about it. You’d wake him up and assure him where he was before staying up almost the rest of the night with him trying to distract him from it. 

“I think you’re all super brave for going through it. Especially because you were what twelve when you first had to deal with all of that? I was still scared of the boogeyman at that age.” You still felt uncomfortable being completely in the dark. “Bravest group of kids I’ll ever have the pleasure of meeting and knowing.” Your voice is soft and your attention isn’t on Dustin anymore and rather on Eddie laughing with the other kids but that doesn’t mean he doesn’t stop at the way you say the words, with a sense of pride and admiration for a group of kids you don’t even know.

Before he can figure what to say in response Eddie’s looking over at you with a big smile on his face and holds his hand out. Your own smile gets bigger and you rush forward taking it in your own and letting him pull you close to his side as he introduces you to the rest of the kids. The excitement is evident in the air around you as you greet everyone.

“She’s nice right?” Max stops next to Dustin just a few steps from the entrance. “I can definitely see why Eddie fell for her so fast.”

“Yeah. You met her then?”

“Yep, I hung out with them all day yesterday when she got to town.” She smirks at Dustin before heading over to the group. The two of them constantly compete with each other over who’s Eddie’s favorite. So this is going to come across as a big win for her.

“Oh. Wait what? Eddie!”

Movie night was fun and you absolutely loved meeting Eddie’s little community of friends, his family. Which isn’t something he’s used to describe them in the past but seeing them all interact with each other you know that’s what they are. You and Robin even planned a day for her to steal you away from Eddie for an hour or two to hangout.

It warmed Eddie’s heart to see you get along so well with everyone. He can’t even start to describe the feeling in his chest as he sees you leaning against his van with Max her head thrown back laughing at something you said as the two of you wait for him to finish saying bye.

“I gotta ask, what’s up with the biting?” Steve asks from his spot next to Eddie in the doorway. You had bitten him a total of only twice during the movie so he hadn’t really expected anyone to notice it much. 

Once was shortly after everyone got seated and the movie was starting. Eddie had kissed the top of your head causing you to recline it back from your spot on the floor between his legs so you could look up at him in his spot on the couch. He gave you a quick peck, gaining a smile and a squeeze of his calf before you turned your attention back to the tv only shortly after turning your head to gently bite right above his knee.

The second time was near the end of the movie. Eddie had been tracing your face lightly with the tips of his fingers and when you began to feel like you were going to burst of all your adoration with how soft he was being with you in front of his friends, something no one had ever done for you, you bit his finger the next time it traced over your lips.

“It’s just the way she shows her love.” Eddie shrugs in response. “She either bites or squeezes, it’s like second nature to her, I don’t even think she realizes she does it sometimes.” Sometimes he thought it was like breathing or blinking to you. “It’s cute.”

You look over then and catch his eyes with your own and blow a kiss to him. Eddie’s smile widens as he makes a show of catching it and Steve and Robin share a look with each other. Neither of them had ever seen him smile that big before.

“Love drunk is a good look on you Eds!” She laughs as she speaks. “I don’t think I’ve ever seen you so full of life and that’s really saying something. You’re naturally extravagant. Get out of here and join your girl.”

“Yeah, we’ll see you around Eddie.”

“Bye guys.” He barely glances back at them, waving over his head, not wanting to take his eyes off of you still deep in conversation with Max. Really he should tell them how he’s glad they liked you and all but all he can think to do is go pull you into his arms and relish in the feeling of having you close until you inevitably have to go back home at the end of the week. 

Eddie fell for you harder and faster than he ever thought would’ve been possible. It wasn’t love at first sight but when he spotted you in the bar in your goddamn homemade Prancing Pony shirt he should’ve known that you were going to be it for him. Instead he just made it his mission to find you after their set to ask you about it which only led to the two of you talking so late into the night that your friend went home and his bandmates all piled into Jeff's car rather than wait for Eddie to be done. It wasn’t until your third date, which was only three weeks after meeting each other, because Eddie could listen to you talk forever and never wanted to stop talking to you so he came up every weekend to take you out, that he realized you were the one for him and he doubted anyone would ever live up to you. Luckily enough for him your mind was on that same track.

“You ready to go Sweetheart?” Eddie kisses the side of your head as he sidles up next to you wrapping his hand around yours.

“Yep, just waiting on you baby.” You squeeze his hand once, twice, three times before pushing off the van. “C’mon Max, I’ll open the back door for you.”

The next day instead of Eddie giving you a tour of Hawkins the two of you end up just curled around each other in bed just enjoying each other's company only getting up to eat. You told him about how you passed all your finals, to which he told you how proud he was of his smart girl and how he knew you could do it, and caught him up on all the gossip in your small college friend group with him hanging onto your every word. Eddie told you about how the bands doing and how you’ll be able to sit through practice this week if you wanted to, to which you sat up in excitement because A that meant you got to see the guys again and B you got to see them all perform again, and he told you stories from when he was growing up in the trailer park.

The day after that Eddie gives you the tour he promised you complete with his favorite places like the picnic table in the woods around the school where he spent a lot of his high school years, the library where he’s planned countless campaigns, and the movie theater where he ends up going all the time with the gang. He took you to lunch at the diner that’s officially replaced Benny’s and then dropped you off at Robin’s telling you he’ll pick you up on his way to Gareth’s.

In the hour and a half that you were over you got to know Robin, the two of you deciding that you’ll be great friends, and you got to meet Nancy. She had shown up about forty minutes after you did. Robin had just greeted her casually while shuffling the cards for the next round of five hundred forgetting that the two of you hadn’t met yet. It was silent for a minute as Nancy looked between you and Robin before she seemed to remember and quickly introduced the two of you. By the time Eddie showed up to take you with him to practice the three of you were in stitches after sharing stories and telling jokes to each other.

“I’m so excited to see the boys again.” You say to Eddie as the two of you walk to the van. You’ve only seen them twice, the first time being the night you met Eddie and the second time being around two months ago because Gareth was craving the wings at the bar they had played at and Eddie had shown up at your door that night to bring you with them, but they were cool and you enjoyed their company.

“I’m sure they’re excited to see you too.” They’ve asked about you a few times since the last time they saw you, about how you’re doing and if he’s gonna let you come visit him anytime soon. Eddie hasn’t said anything about you coming to practice this week so he’s sure they’ll be at least surprised to see you. “Did you enjoy hanging out with Robin?” He places his hand on your knee as he drives away from her house.

“Yeah, I got to meet Nancy. She’s nice.”

“Huh, I thought she was in school for another week. She must’ve just gotten back.”

“I think she said something about getting back yesterday. And something about Jonathan, that’s Will’s brother right?”

“Yeah, they’ve been dating for a while now. I think they’ve been going through a rough patch since she started college though.”

“That sucks.” He pulls up to Gareth's house and stops in front of it then. The garage is open and you can see the guys standing around and talking. They look up as they hear Eddie’s door shut.

“Hey man! Didn’t realize you were here without your music blasting.”

“Yeah well I have a special guest with me this time.”

“Hey guys!” You wave as you round the van and walk up to the garage with Eddie. The group breaks into cheers at the sight of you asking how you’ve been and playfully bullying Eddie for not telling them you were in town.  It took them an extra half an hour to start practice so they could catch up with you beforehand.

“What’re we doing for my last day tomorrow?” You ask later that night head rested on his chest. You didn’t even want to think about it being your last full day with your lovely loving boyfriend but you know that you have to face it sooner than later.

“I don’t know. Probably tie you up or lock you in a cage so you can’t leave and I get to keep you forever.” He shrugs and gives you a teasing smile as he repositions himself to be propped up on his elbow.

“C’mon Eddie be serious.” You poke his side amused with his taunts.

“I could call Max, have her come over for a movie day. Because as much as I want to keep you to myself she’d want to see you too.” He could tell after that first day how attached she was already getting to you. 

“That sounds nice. Maybe we could get that takeout you always rave about since you still haven’t had me try it?”

“That sounds perfect.” He brings you closer to his chest just wanting to feel your skin on his even more. You nip at his shoulder making his smile widen. “I can pick it up and then get your favorite movies on the way back.”

“Perfect.” You yawn through the word and cuddle closer to him.

“G’night Bats.”

“Night Eddie.”

The next morning you wake up to Eddie peppering kisses over your face and shoulders immediately bringing a soft sleepy smile to your face. It’s almost noon by the time the two of you made it out of bed and you went straight to making breakfast while Eddie called Max the girl showing up within minutes after hanging up.

“Smells good in here for once.” She chimes as she crosses through the door.

“That’s because I don’t leave the stove on too high while I cook so the food doesn’t burn. Unlike some people.” You shoot a pointed look towards Eddie who had almost completely burned breakfast the other day before Wayne had shooed him away to take over. 

“What’re you making?” Max makes her way into the kitchen and you give her the task of helping cook the sausage while Eddie gets plates down. 

The three of you sit down and eat, falling into a comfortable silence at times where none of you can think of anything to say. You ask Max about soccer to which she lights up with excitement while she speaks and Eddie tells her about how you grew up playing sports with your cousins on the weekends in your backyard and how you could probably help her practice better than he does since you know more about the game than him. That led to Max asking you questions aimed specifically at figuring out how much you know while Eddie watches and listens in with a smile on his face at how his girls light up as the two of you talk.

The two of you are left there talking about the different sports you watched your cousins play when he leaves to get the take out and stop at Family Video. And when he gets home with food and three of your favorite movies you’ve both migrated to the kitchen to do dishes where Max is telling you animatedly about the time she had a particularly nasty fall while skateboarding recently.

“Red came crying to me to clean her boo boos.” Eddie announces his presence with his joking tone placing the movies and food on the coffee table before joining the two of you in the kitchen.

“I did not!” Max scoffs rolling her eyes while you chuckle at the two of them bickering.

“You totally did, you were bawling like you were a baby again.” 

“You’re such a liar! You were the one who started panicking and making me sit down so you can take care of me.” You smile just knowing that that’s actually what happened while Eddie wraps his arms around you from behind.

“You could’ve gotten an infection.” He defends himself before resting his head on the side of your neck, kissing it softly. “Hey baby. You know you don’t have to do the dishes right? I can take care of them tomorrow.”

“Too late, they’re already done.” You put the last plate over to the side to dry before turning to wipe your wet hands on his shirt.

“You did not just do that.”

“Maybe I did, maybe I didn’t.” You shrug and try to move away before he grabs you. 

“God get a room you two.” Max says before the two of you can start fighting.

“You should change your shirt Eddie baby. I’ll set up the take out and we’ll pick one of the movies.” You peck his lips before moving away and joining the girl in the living room. “Alright Max, Muppets Take Manhattan, The Thing, or Spaceballs to start with?”

“I’ve never seen Spaceballs.”

“Never seen Spaceballs?! That’s first then. Eddie! Why haven’t you ever shown her one of the funniest movies we’ve ever seen?” 

“Woah!” His hands go up in surrender at your small glare. “Calm down, it only came out last year so I haven’t had the time to.”

“Besides, aren't you glad you get to be the one to show it to her?” He adds after taking the movie from you while dropping a kiss to the top of your head.

“Okay, yeah you’re right.” You go to the take out bags to place the food on the table while Max sits next to you on the couch.

Max is asleep by the time the third movie is over, having dozed off somewhere in the middle. And even though it’s only a little after nine you can feel yourself succumbing to sleep as you lean further into Eddie’s chest. You’re stirred slightly out of it when he leans forward for the remote to eject the tape from the VCR, even more so when your source of comforting warmth gets up to take the tape out.

“Let’s get you to bed Sweetheart.” He speaks to you after placing it on the table.

“What about Max?” You yawn, standing up and taking his hand letting him pull you in the direction of his room.

“She’s fine there. Fallen asleep here enough times that Wayne won’t be surprised to find her on the couch when he gets home. I’ll ring her place to let her mom know she’s here after I get you in bed.”

“And then you’ll come join me?”

“Wouldn’t wanna be anywhere else.”

You fight with sleep the whole five minutes he’s gone from the room not wanting to waste time sleeping when you leave in the morning. You still fight it after he joins you in bed and wraps his arms around you. 

“Hey Eds?” You turn to face him after a couple beats of silence.

“Hm?” He hums in response, clearly starting to fall asleep himself. He’d never normally fall asleep this early but when it comes to falling asleep with you he can’t help it.

“What if I came to Hawkins after my next semester?” 

“That’d be great. Though hopefully you’ll be coming to visit again before then.”

“What if it wasn’t a visit? What if I came here permanently?” That wakes him up and his eyes shoot open and his mouth drops as he tries to figure out what to say. “I’ll be done with my degree then and besides my parents and the couple of friends I’ll be leaving school with there’s nothing tethering me there. But here there’s you and Wayne and there’s Max. And I think Robin and I could become really good friends. I’ve been saving up for a while, longer than I’ve known you, for my own place so I figure why not just get my own place here. It would be great if you could say something to stop my rambling so I don’t start thinking you’re against the idea or that you might not want me here.”

“Of course I want you here!” He’s snapped out of his daze quicker than you’ve ever seen him snap out of anything ever. “It’s just insane to think that you want to come stay here. I’ve spent most of my life wanting to leave and hating this town just for you to want to live here.”

“Well I didn’t want to ask you about coming to me. You have a whole family here despite how little you seem to realize that. And Hawkins isn’t that bad, it’s really a nicer town than some of the places near me. And if I move here no one will ever give you shit again because then they’ll have to deal with me and I’ll bite their ears off.”

“Of course you will Bats. Put that biting of yours to good use.” He laughs before holding you tighter to him. “If you really wanna do that, move here after you graduate, Hawkins would be a better place for it.”

The next morning after you pack your things into your car and say bye to Max who demanded you call her and write her letters to keep in touch while you’re gone you hug Eddie goodbye with a smile on your face despite how much you already miss him. 

“I’ll come back near the end of next month alright? We can start looking at trailers or apartments then.”

“I’ll be counting down the days Bats.”

Eddie Taglist (29/40):@sadbitchfangirl​ @notbeforelong​​​​ @navs-bhat​ @emotionaldreamer​ ​​​​​ @fangirling-4-ever​  @gaysludge​​​ ​@eddiethesexy​ @mazerunnerrose​ @midnightsgetawaycar   @mushroomelephant @saramelaniemoon @nojamsonmytoast @vintagehellfire @esoltis280 @spikedhe4rt @siriuslysmoking @toobsessedsstuff @alana4610 @gretavanfleas @sparkletash @aactuaaltraash @spookyemorockbabe @jesssssmaybankk @tlclick73 @eddiemunsonslittlemetalhead @bl4ckt00thgr1n @eli-flower @canyonmooncreations

Everything Taglist: @matchamunson​ @bubsonnobx​ @practicalghost​ @katsukis1wife @crustyowos @yourfavdummy @protecteddiemunson4vr @kennedy-brooke @m00nkn1ghts @rory-cakes

[psiroller]

Stop Smoking, We Love You

I wrote a little thing based on @unkat's chilaios EMS AU, which has consumed my little pea brain. you don't need a whole lot of context though. 1k words, cw mentions of medical trauma, smoking, drugs. title comes from the car seat headrest song which makes me misty eyed thinking about my stupid boys.

Chilchuck relished the icy cold breeze on his sweaty face as he burst out into the rear parking lot of the hospital, the one for the employees that visitors still park in. He patted himself down until the sharp corner of a fresh pack of Newports hit his palm, and he remembered he’d been trying to use the inside pockets after he’d accidentally dropped a pack during a call and wasted thirteen bucks and tax before he’d even opened the damn thing. He was fortunate enough to have remembered his lighter, too; Senshi’s visiting family this weekend and he has no one else to bum a light from. He’d gotten in trouble the last time he asked a patient out of desperation.

He flicked his zippo and lit it in one smooth motion, a party trick that had long worn out its novelty and was just about to put it to the menthol-cool cigarette between his lips when two large hands entered his vision. One clapped the zippo shut and the other pinched the cig by the filter, tugging both out of Chilchuck’s grip.

“Yoink.”

“You mother fucker—”

Laios laughed as Chilchuck lunged after the precious nicotine clutched in his big hands, held just out of reach.

“This doesn’t look like twenty feet to me,” Laios grinned.

“I was going to hold it in until I reached the grass, fuck off, alright?”

“Then you won’t mind if I walk with you?”

Laios returned what he’d taken, and Chilchuck snatched it back. “Fine, fine, whatever. Come freeze your ass off with me.”

They crossed the parking lot, stepping carefully across black ice and hopping the curb to stand in the grass, a foot beyond the premises. Chilchuck made pointed eye contact with Laios as he stuck the cigarette between his lips and flicked the lighter open and shut, taking a long drag. He debated breathing it in Laios’ face, but decided to turn away. He blew a thin plume of smoke that caught on the brisk wind and whipped away. “Happy?”

“Not exactly,” Laios admitted. “You shouldn’t smoke, Chil.”

Chilchuck scowled. “Oh, here we go… listen, it’s my right to poison my body however I want. Just look at our patients.”

Laios fought a grim laugh and failed. “Hey, you asked.”

“What’s it matter to you anyway?” Chilchuck asked, slurred around the filter. He took another long drag and tapped out the ash into the frozen grass.

“As a medical professional, I prefer not to watch people die.”

Chilchuck released the smoke through his nose, rolling his eyes. “Preference doesn’t matter much to us, does it?”

“I guess not.”

Another long drag. He’d somehow blasted half the cigarette already. “You sound like my youngest,” Chilchuck breathed, with a fondly exasperated smile. Laios shifted around, his cheeks going pink in the cold. “She’s in the middle of some kind of health course and it’s got her all freaked out. ‘Daddy, don’t smoke those, they’ve got rat poison in ‘em!’” Chilchuck said, affecting a raspy falsetto. “It was kinda cute, but she was pretty upset,” he sighed. “She was crying. Must be a pretty heavy-handed program.”

“I had that growing up,” Laios said. "They had a cop come in and everything. Showed us pictures of tracheotomies.”

“Is that what they’re doing?” Chilchuck hissed. “She’s nine! She’s too young for that shit. I’m gonna complain to the PTA.”

“Hey, it kept me off. Do you want her on it?”

Chilchuck’s mouth drew into a long, thin line. “I guess not.”

They stood there, Chilchuck smoking, Laios doing fuck all with his hands in his pockets. Chilchuck wondered why he was out here at all if he hated cigarettes and smoking so much. It was biting cold, blustery, damp. It was a holiday weekend and there was only a matter of time before they got another Narcan call, he could be catching a nap before rush hour, but he was here.

“Does it help?” Laios asked. “With the stress, I mean.”

“Gives me an excuse to step out,” Chilchuck shrugged. “Gives me something to look forward to. Gives me a reason to breathe in and out for a few minutes that isn’t that dippy yoga shit.”

“Have you ever done it? That dippy yoga shit?”

“Hell no.”

“You want to try it? I can show you a few poses.”

Chilchuck choked on smoke, something he hadn’t done in twenty years. “You? Yoga?” The ass definition suddenly made a lot of sense.

“I don’t take classes, but you can learn a lot from YouTube videos.”

“Hm.” It had been the class aspect that turned him off the most. It felt somehow more embarrassing than just rocking up to the gym at three in the morning and dissociating on the treadmill for a few hours. “I’ll think about it.”

“I think it’d be fun,” Laios said, and Chilchuck almost believed him. “And it’s helped me, you know. After rough calls.”

Chilchuck sucked down the last of his cigarette and blew it upwards, a brief break in the wind allowing it to coil in upon itself in midair, minute particles glittering in the warm, flickering glow of the light post and simmering down in his lungs. He leaned down to smash the smoldering filter into the curb, putting the butt in his junk pocket to avoid being further nagged.

“Alright,” Chilchuck relented. “Why the hell not?”

Laios beamed at him. Chilchuck could think of a thousand reasons against meeting up with his boss to do anything that didn’t involve getting a beer, but looking at that self-satisfied grin gave him one very good reason in his favor. “It’s a date.”

“No it’s not!” Chilchuck squawked. Laios skipped away. Skipped. “It’s not a date, Laios!”

“See you then!”

“Nice HR violation!” Chilchuck screamed. “Mother fucker.” He muttered to himself, tapping his pack angrily against his palm and flipping up a lid for one more, just to spite him, and looked down at the neat rows of little paper cylinders, pristine and fresh.

Chilchuck crammed the box back into his pocket and trudged inside.  

[sadhours]

stuck in the middle with you - prologue

billy hargrove x mayfield!oc

series master-list • read on ao3

contents: 18+ minors dni, stepcest, psuedocest, forbidden love trope, slow burn ish, mutual pining

summary: the newly mixed hargrove-mayfield household is awkward and a little tumultuous. eldest teens billy and pamela struggle to find a good balance between them. billy was under the impression that susan and neil wouldn’t last long, but once the pair tie the knot, billy has to nip his attraction to pamela in the bud. that proves to be difficult.

It’s a sunny day in San Diego and Billy’s feeling good. Forgoes the numerous cassettes in his car for the radio, thumbs through the channels until he hears Bill Wither’s Lovely Day billowing through the Camaro’s speakers. He’s on his way to work. The grocery store is ten minutes from the Hargrove residence. He got an early start, got to hit some waves and did some shit he’s pretty proud of. His fingers twirl the volume dial up. He hits a red light and fumbles with his pack of Red’s, plucks one out and brings it to his lips. Lights it with a flick of his Zippo and turns his head to catch a red convertible, full of bleach blonde honey’s in swimsuits. They giggle and wave, squealing as Billy revvs his engine. Chuck Taylor on the brake pedal and the other on the accelerator, waves his fingers at the blondes and as the light turns green, he punches it. Life is good.

He clicks the turn signal, switching lanes before he turns into the grocery parking lot. Parks as far as he can from the entrance and uses up the rest of the free time he has, blasting his radio and finishing up his cigarette. There’s a view of the ocean from here, no doubt where the girls in the convertible were headed. Same beach he spent the morning.

Once Billy’s finished his smoke, he takes the walk from the edge of the parking lot to the Albertson’s entrance. Waves to Mrs. Jones, as she's walking out, makes a cheeky comment about how he’s bummed to have missed her and doesn’t miss the way she blushes. He’s the favorite bagboy around here. If not for his looks, then for his skill and diligence. But if Billy can find a way to compete, he’ll take it. If there was a competitive sport for bagging groceries, he’d surely have the first place trophy.

He makes it to the lockers, circles the dial for his lock and pops it open. Retrieves his apron and slides it on, ties it around his waist and reaches for his name tag next, slides the sharp point of the safety pin into his white button up and closes it up. Pops a piece of gum between his teeth before closing up his locker, nods to a coworker as he grabs his time card and slips it into the time clock. Two minutes early.

“How ya doing, Billy?” his coworker greets before grabbing his own time card and clocks out for break.

“Living the dream,” Billy chides, easy and all smiles.

He checks the clipboard to see where he’s stationed first and then makes his way to the check stands. Salutes the cashier as he takes his post at the bagging area. First customer of the day is an absolute babe. Soft, styled blonde hair and blue eyes. Wears a sundress and clings onto the strap of her purse with manicured nails. Red. Billy’s favorite color. He winks at her as he says hello as he smacks his gum.

“Hi,” she replies, cheeks pink and it might be powder blush but Billy would like to think it’s from him.

“How’s your day going?” he inquires, reaching for the groceries rotating his way. Even with the distraction of the gorgeous blonde, he bags with precision. Canned corn with canned soup, double bagged and placed in the cart.

The blonde purses her lips, glances behind her and then turns to Billy, “It’s fine. How’s yours?”

“Can’t complain, got to catch some killer waves before work,” he replies easily and then a familiar face appears behind the blonde. Makes Billy’s face fall.

Susan. His dad’s new girlfriend. She looks at him surprised and then smiles, “Billy! I forgot you work here.”

“Uh, yeah,” he chuckles, shaking his head ‘cause he doesn’t buy it. He heard she lives on the opposite side of town. No reason to do grocery shopping here. “Hey, Susan.”

“So, you’ve met my daughter,” Susan smiles, motioning to the blonde. Fuck. He was flirting with his dad’s girlfriend’s daughter. Gross. Why would Neil date someone with such a hot daughter? That’s like, totally unfair.

“Not officially. I’m Billy,” he offers.

“Pamela,” the girl replies curtly, glancing down at her feet as another, younger girl bounces up beside them. This one looks a lot more like Susan.

“And this is my youngest, Maxine,” Susan introduces the middle schooler.

The younger redhead scowls, turns her nose up at her mother and then looks to Billy, “It’s Max.”

“Nice to meet you both,” Billy plasters on the fakest smile. The few times he’s met Susan, he hasn’t liked her. Doesn’t buy the facade she puts on.

“You, too,” Pamela mumbles and Max looks disinterested.

Billy doesn’t miss a beat bagging their groceries, but he does notice that when he grabs the box of tampons, Pamela’s eyes widen and her face gets redder. It makes him smirk, but he feels like he really shouldn’t be finding his dad’s girlfriend’s daughter so hot.

“Well, we’re heading to your house. You were supposed to meet my girls at dinner but it looks like we got a jump on that,” Susan says, voice all cheery.

“Yep,” Billy smiles again, still forced. This kind of put a real damper on his mood. Seeing Susan does that but knowing her daughter is such a smoke show and so off limits really drives it home.

He doesn’t say much else, keeps bagging the dinner he’s doomed to eat. It’s unlike Billy and the cashier notices and gives him a look. He’s typically a chatterbox. Charming his way through the whole process. Susan pays, and Billy notices she used food stamps. He doesn’t express any judgment but his dad talks real negatively about single mothers who take advantage of the government. Billy has to wonder if he knows he’s sleeping with one.

“We’ll see you at dinner, Billy,” Susan grins, behind Pamela who pushes the cart.

He meets her eyes, tries to read them as he says bye. She averts hers and Billy has to wonder if she’s just as attracted to him.

—

He’s been dreading the dinner his whole shift. Even considers skipping it all together. Sits in the Camaro for a good twenty minutes before he even starts it up. He’s pretty sure there’s a bonfire at the beach but Neil would kill him. And also, there’s a big part of him that wants to see Pamela again. Even if she’s off limits, he can still look, can’t he?

The drive home is too quick and Susan’s dumb station wagon is in his place in the driveway. He sits outside and has a cigarette, listening to the radio as he just watches the door. Half expects Neil to come out and yell at him, or worse, Susan. It doesn’t happen. Of course his dads gonna put on a front for these women. Which buys him something. But the second they leave, that’s another story. And Billy’s gone a month without a black eye, he’d really like to keep that going so he turns off the Camaro. Tosses his cigarette and trudges his way up to the house. Upon entering, Max is sat on the couch, looking bored to hell while Neil’s nursing a beer, sat on his recliner as the news bubbles out from the TV.

“Billy. How was work?” Neil asks, absentmindedly. He’s not really paying attention, doesn’t really care. His eyes focused on President Reagan, talking some bullshit on the TV.

“Fine,” he mumbles, closing the door behind him as he reaches down to untie his Converse. Looks at the three pair of shoes discarded by the front door. He slips his off and holds them between his fingers as he trails down the hallway to his bedroom. Tosses them to the floor and closes his door. Leans against the cheap particle board and heaves a sigh. He can’t be in here too long. Neil’ll come looking for him. Tell him he has to mingle.

So he takes the short time he has to change his clothes. Just slips out of his button up and pulls on an old t-shirt. And yeah. He walks over to his mirror, checks how his hair is looking. Sure as hell can’t flirt with the pretty blonde in his house, but who says he can’t look good for her anyways. A spray of Aquanet can’t hurt and shit, he smells like work so a few sprays of his cologne ain’t gonna kill anyone.

Looking in the mirror, he catches his cat on his bed. Locked in here because Susan insists she’s allergic. He doesn’t believe her because Gloria’s fur is all over this house and Susan never has a reaction. He collapses on his bed and Gloria stands up, stretches all exaggerated and struts her way over to Billy. Cozies up on his lap and nudges her head against his hand. He gets the idea and scratches at the gray fur behind her ears, pouts as he looks at her.

“Wish I could be locked in here with ya,” he mumbles out. Gloria purrs, eyes closing as she nuzzles against his chest.

Then there’s a knock on his door and he huffs, closes his eyes and takes a deep breath before he calls out, “Yeah?”

The door opens slowly, his eyes catch her feet first. Simple black kitten heels, tights adorning long legs up to her flowy black skirt and baby pink blouse with a frilly collar. Yeah, this night is gonna suck. Pamela’s hair is tied back in a haphazard bun and he wonders if she’s been in the kitchen, helping Susan.

“Salad is re— you have a cat?!” her plush lips pulling up into an excited smile as she moves in closer.

“Yeah, shut the door,” Billy tells her, “Your mom’s allergic.”

Pamela closes the door and steps closer to the bed, “So she says. We had cats when I was a kid, though. What’s its name?”

She reaches her manicured fingers out for Gloria to sniff. Gloria does, looks up at the girl curiously and then nudges her head against Pamela’s knuckles. She scratches the cat's head, smiling all fondly at her.

“Gloria, or Glo for short,” Billy says.

“Such a pretty girl,” Pamela praises with a pout, voice all babied.

Billy smiles, watching the interaction and ignoring how close Pamela is to him. But he can smell her perfume, citrusy and floral. His instinct to flirt is weighing heavy on him and it’s kind of painful not to. Off limits, he tells himself and clears his throat, “So uh, dinner’s ready?”

Pamela nods, hair bouncing with the movement as she keeps scratching at the cat's neck. “Well, salad is. Meatloafs almost done.”

“Meatloaf, eh? Sounds tasty,” he tries to sound like he means it but Pamela catches it.

She laughs, breezy and a sound Billy wants to hear over and over. “Don’t worry, I did all the heavy lifting. But don’t tell your dad that.”

“Wouldn’t dream of it,” he grins, sitting up and picking up Gloria. Pamela turns towards the door and Billy can’t stop his dumb mouth, “You’re really pretty, by the way.”

“Oh,” she turns slightly and her cheeks are redder. “Thanks.” Pamela exits his bedroom and leaves Billy feeling like a creep. The hell is wrong with him? Why the fuck did he say that?

He puts the cat down and walks out behind Pamela, but he doesn’t follow her out into the kitchen yet. Detours to the bathroom so he can splash his face and get a grip. Off limits, he repeats. Fixes his hair some more and decides he’s not gonna talk to Pamela if he can help it.

She’s already sat at the table by the time he gets there and wouldn’t you know it, the only empty spot is right across from her. Awesome. They’ve pulled up an old wooden chair for Max, next to Pamela. Neil and Susan sit at the other ends. There’s a salad plated for him. He sits down and gulps some of the water placed for him while he waits for his dad to start grace, but he doesn’t. And all the girls are already eating. Neil gives him a look, then looks up at the ceiling so Billy does the same. Tells God thanks in his head and starts in on his salad.

Susan talks a lot so it’s easy for Billy to zone out on his food and not look up at the pretty girl across from him. But apparently, this dinner is supposed to be about the teens getting to know each other. Susan says, in her shrill voice, “Billy! You and Pamela are in the same grade. Isn’t that neat?”

“Yeah,” Billy offers a soft grin, doesn’t quite reach his eyes.

“Max is about to start the eighth grade,” Susan continues and Billy just nods, pretends he’s listening as she keeps rambling. Then she says, “Max skateboards, your dad says you surf, that’s pretty much the same thing, right?”

He scoffs, a smile that’s not at all joyful plays at his lips as he looks at Susan, “I mean, no. Not really, at all.”

Neil shoots him daggers, he can’t see them but he can feel his dads eyes hardened on the side of his face so he offers, quickly, “But I skate, too. Not that often but I’ve got a board. I like surfing more, been doing it longer.”

“I only started this year,” Max mumbles, luckily getting the attention away from Billy.

“That’s cool,” Billy tries, mostly for the sake of his dad. Neil hasn’t dated seriously enough to introduce his girlfriend’s kids before. And really, Susan’s made an effort to get to know Billy, though fruitless. But perhaps he can play nice for the time being. And when Neil and Susan inevitably fizzle out, he can make his move on the daughter. That’s his plan, at least.

[bullet-prooflove]

Sending hug’s always!

I know it's complicated 'cause everyone that I've dated Says they hate it 'cause they don't know what to do with me

For Benny Miller please and thank you!

Next to Will you are the only person who has ever come through for Benny. The only one that has ever really stood by him, the one that continues to stick by him.

The girls that came before you had given up at the first hurdle but you, you’re a grounding force in his life, the person that anchors him.

He thinks of that as he lays on a bunk in a six by eight cell staring up at the ceiling.

He’s been arrested for fighting again, a guy had started something in the bar and instead of walking away like he usually did, the two of them had gotten into it.

The reason he’d lost his cool? He’s untethered again.

The noise in his head had gotten a little too loud so he’d ran, left your house in the middle of the night while you were sleeping and took his duffle bag with him. He’s spent the last couple of days crashing in the back of his truck outside the bar he’s been drinking in.

It’s you that gets him out. Will’s working abroad and one of your friends is employed by the local PD. They give you a heads up that he’s been arrested, and you manage to smooth things over. This is the third time that it’s happened. They usually let him dry out before calling you.

You’re waiting for him outside, sitting in the driver’s seat of your car as the rain patters down upon the roof. He looks like shit; he knows he does. The scent of nicotine and whiskey clings to him as he climbs into the passenger seat.

“You can drop me back off at the bar.” He tells you as he runs a hand through his dirty hair. “My truck’s there.”

He doesn’t look at you, his gaze is fixed, straight ahead. You sigh, turning the heaters on full blast before tilting them toward him.

“I’m going to take you home, you can take a shower, eat a decent meal and then if you want to leave, you can leave.”

“Just take me to my truck.” He says, his voice raising an octave.

“Benny…” You try again.

“Why the fuck do you even care?” He snaps at you. “Just take me back to my fucking truck.”

It kills you to see him like this. It’s like seeing a wild animal in pain, snarling and biting everyone who tries to help it.

“I love you, Benny.” You snap back. “You may find this hard to believe but I actually give a shit about what happens to you.”

You see the moment the words hit him. Each one impacts him like a bullet, tearing through his flesh and burying themselves deep within his heart. He finds your empathy excruciating. He can’t do this, it’s too much. He��s already shoving the car door open before you can stop him. You call his name but he’s long gone, disappearing around the side of the building.

You reach across the passenger seat, pulling the door closed before sag back in your seat, your eyes burning.

You know that you can’t help someone who won’t help themselves, you do but Jesus Christ you wish that wasn’t true with Benny.

 @crazy4chickennuggets  @kmc1989  @withakindheartx  @aaronhtchnrs @mysoulisasunflower @thanossexual @itspdameronthings @justreblogginfics @pimosworld @dreamlandcreations @harperdoodle @est1887 @creativitybeware @spookyboogyuniverse @spaghettificationandpretzels @nu1freakshow @legally-a-bastard @words-and-seeds

[love-kurdt]

Swooping, Sloping, Cursive Letters: 21

word count: 966

PLEASE READ THIS IS ME TRYING FIRST, AS THIS STORY RELIES HEAVILY UPON THE CONTEXT OF TIMT

May 17, 1989

Dear Will,

Today started out pretty rough, since one of my tires on my bike popped when I was halfway to your house. And given how quickly Hawkins has become a fucking sauna over the past few weeks (thanks, rural midwest), it was not a blast to push my bike the rest of the way on foot. Again, I could have taken my car to begin with, but I think in some way shape or form, we crave that element of our childhoods, riding bikes through the neighborhood like old times. Plus, Lucas and I are the only ones who have cars right now, so majority rules. Anyway, I still wound up at your house about half an hour early, and we spent that time trying to figure out how to patch up and refill my tire. No dice, unfortunately. But our hands brushed a few times, so it wasn’t too inconvenient.

Jonathan ended up coming into the garage at one point to grab a few tools (he’s been helping Hop out with some home projects, like a new shelving unit for your living room and a deck out back— but you already know that, why am I going on about this?) and suggested I just share your bike with you. You laughed so loudly that I thought I was gonna puke. I forced my anxiety back down and reminded Jon of how tall I am (last time I went to the doctor they said I was 6’3”– no, I’m not kidding), and he insisted that I, “just try and sit on the handlebars, or something.” I thought the idea was insane, but you seemed to be pretty entertained by it, so I shook my head with slight embarrassment before I motioned for you to mount the bike.

You swung your leg over the bar and rested your feet on either side, a huge grin on your face. “Do your worst, Wheeler,” you told me. I was so tempted to dramatically fling myself over the handlebars like a ragdoll, but then again, I didn’t feel like throwing out my back at the ripe age of eighteen. I turned so my back faced you, reached behind me to grip the handlebars, and hoisted myself up as best as I could, while you reached a hand out to hold my side and keep me steady. I must’ve looked like a fucking praying mantis or some shit, with my knees almost hitting my chin because of how I was balancing my toes on the front fender, but I didn’t care, because your reaction was fucking priceless. You were hysterically laughing, and I couldn’t help but begin to laugh as well.

Before I knew what was happening, Jonathan had disappeared and come back within record speed, and a bright flash hit my eyes as he clicked the button on his camera. I glanced back at you, and thankfully, you didn’t look fazed at all. In fact, you said to Jonathan, “please tell me I’ll get a copy of that,” while catching your breath from laughing so hard.

After that whole debacle, we actually tried riding the bike with me in front, but you couldn’t really see on account of the top of your head barely reaching my shoulders. So we eventually gave up on trying and just walked to Dustin’s to meet the rest of the Party, since his house isn’t too far away from yours, and Jon was still busy with his project and couldn’t drive us. Which I was totally fine with, because… duh, time alone with you is time well spent. We played D&D, and I kind of got a little too invested in your campaign. I think I just love seeing you so happy. I don’t think I could ever get tired of watching you in your element.

Once the session ended, Lucas gave us a ride home (I love how I just referred to your house as my home, I might’ve gotten a little emotional just now while writing it). We walked into your living room and saw Jonathan sitting on the couch with a bunch of photos spread out across the surface of the coffee table. Apparently, he’d gone and processed all of his films at Melvald’s while we were at Dustin’s; there were two copies of the photo he’d taken earlier.

He gave me one before asking if I wanted to stay for dinner. As much as I would’ve loved to, I actually did need to take care of Holly tonight, since our parents are in Ohio right now at some conference for my dad’s job. You offered to drive me back to my house, and I tried not to look too excited as I said yes.

Once we arrived in my driveway, I leaned over the center console and hugged you, telling you I had a great time with you today. You hugged me back (you hadn’t for the first few seconds and I nearly had a panic attack) and said you had a great time with me too. I went inside, holding the freshly printed photo of us in my hand.

So… I might have framed it. I know, it’s weird and frankly kind of stalker-y, but… deal with it. You’ll never actually know about this anyway. Not unless I leave the frame sitting in plain sight when you come into my room, or if I recklessly forget to hide these letters detailing where exactly my copy of the photo went, as well as the countless times I’ve talked about wanting to kiss you. For now, I’m keeping it under my pillow. 

Okay, I’m gonna stop writing now in order to stop myself from sounding like even more of a creep than I already am.

Love,

Mike

-

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[ayaz--ates]

I'LL MISS YOU FOR ALL THE DAYS:

Same as part one. I'm sorry I did this to you, my man. You are and will always be one of my most beloved characters. ♥ Date: March 16th, 2024. Warnings: Drug use, overdose, implied prostitution, character death, sad times, both Kate and Ayaz having a mental breakdown.

‘The place in Wood Green we had to shake down last week. He’s there.’ ‘You’re sure?’ ‘I wouldn’t have said anything otherwise.’

“Imagine being this much of a fucking disappointment…”

As he restarted the engine of his Aston Martin—cautious about idling this long anywhere in Haringey lest he end up on bricks—the man muttered away angrily to himself. Tossing his phone into the front passenger seat in frustration, Ayaz quickly pulled out into the sparse, late-evening traffic.

It was like babysitting a grown fucking adult.

In fact, that was precisely what it was.

Rumours had been circling around Haringey in the weeks since Valentine’s Day—unfortunately, he spent more than enough time there these days to have picked up on it—and he’d heard all about Berat’s fight with Kerem over Nevra. Speaking of fucking disappointments. The apparent year-long relationship was something he’d bring up with her another time, but her ex-fiancé had evidently made his feelings on the matter known. Even if a conversation with Giordana regarding their date had set his mind at ease about Berat’s mental state, Ayaz was still concerned.

In the blink of an eye, that man could and would spiral…

The few Rutherfords he trusted with the task asked why he cared enough to have people keeping an eye out for a Turk at all, let alone reporting in when they thought he might’ve been gearing up for his next fix. A waste of manpower, someone had the gall to suggest. Ayaz must have missed the part where he’d asked for their opinion on how he chose to conduct business in his borough.

His thumb tapped impatiently against his steering wheel as he hit a red light.

How the fuck was Berat still sinking this low?

How could he put Nevra through this if she really meant that much to him?

When Ayaz had beat the shit out of him the first time—punch after punch to a face that ended up so mangled it was almost unrecognisable—it’d been for Ceren. Partly for himself, too, he supposed. The man had been so fucking blasted on heroin and whatever else, he hadn’t even managed to keep it together long enough to make it to her funeral. Hadn’t even said goodbye. And the truth was, as soft a spot as he would always have for Berat, Ayaz would never be able to forgive him for that. Not when he knew the waste of space was his cousin’s whole world.

This was for her, too, he assured himself.

Not for himself.

Not for the memories he still clung to of looking out for him when he was a tragic kid trying to find his way in a new country. Not because he’d once seen him as a little brother, and that kind of bond never really went away completely no matter how much bad blood was spilled between sides. Because it’d never really been Berat that’d turned on him or his family. Ayaz recalled vividly a moment after they’d been cast from Haringey when he’d dared come back to visit his cousins, and whilst everyone else circled like predators, ready to be the ones who got to claim an Ateş, Berat had been the only one to defend him. It’d ended up violent, but Berat had stayed with him.

No doubt he’d paid for that. Maybe Ayaz would pay for this one day, too.

Getting to the run down club had taken a lot less time than he’d been expecting, Allah'a şükür. Maybe he’d be able to make it inside before he even had chance to get a needle.

Ayaz was going to drag him the fuck out of there and give him the hiding of his life.

If being with Nevra was what he wanted, if a relationship with Leyla was what he wanted, he was going to stop fucking up, because they deserved better.

The car had barely stopped before he was in the street.

It truly was an awful area to find oneself; a shit stain on the borough in its entirety, which was saying something when Haringey was exactly that to London. There were scantily clad women gathered around the doorway, cocaine at their noses, drinks in their hands, a sway to the hips that said come inside. There was shattered glass. Boarded up windows. Even the sign overheard was missing a letter. It looked exactly the type of place where you could slip into the basement and shoot up.

They didn’t even try to hide it.

When the security guard outside caught sight of Ayaz, he looked petrified.

“Berat Yalaz, is he here?”

“Uh, yeah. Yeah, he went insi—”

Ayaz didn’t give him the courtesy of finishing because it was all the confirmation he needed. The Rutherford weaved through the Saturday night crowd, ignoring people who recognised him, ignoring the people heckling him, and focusing solely on the staircase across the room that he knew took anybody who wanted it right into the pits of hell.

The man guarding the top of the stairs had tried to stop him until Ayaz had put a gun in his face.

He’d been less confrontational after that.

“It’s almost like you ignored our little talk entirely, Deniz. So are you deaf or fucking stupid, because I very specifically remember telling you not—”

—to sell to Berat Yalaz.

The women were so pale and grey, one could’ve been fooled into thinking they were translucent. They were skin and bones and sunken in eyes and gaunt faces with shadows that made them look twenty years older than he was sure they were. The room smelt of damp and piss and reminded him a bit of the tube but without a coherent crowd, and if it hadn’t been for Berat, he would have been quite literally anywhere else. These people deserved to be subservient when they lived like animals and his disdain was radiating.

“You need to leave right now, Ateş. You are not welcome here.”

“I don’t remember asking for permission.”

There were two men passed out against a wall, but neither were the one he was looking for.

Someone was getting their dick sucked. Another ghostly woman cried in the corner.

They’d been so sure he was here, and yet…

There was a commotion coming from behind one of the curtains that sectioned off the room into semi-private areas for those who’d pay more. Checking them had been his next priority, but now that his attention had been drawn to the sound of muffled crying and something rustling just ahead, he knew where he was going to start.

“Ayaz,” Deniz continued, angry now as he limped after the Rutherford lieutenant. “No!”

The man dared grab for the shoulder of his jacket with his grubby fucking hands and absolute fucking audacity. The action was timed perfectly with Ayaz reaching out for the dank curtain and tossing it aside, and even though Deniz had tried to yank him back, the old man’s frailty betrayed him. It might’ve taken a moment for Ayaz to register precisely what he was looking at, but it would’ve taken much longer to be removed from the situation before he could.

And that was unfortunate for everybody in the room.

The rustling was coming from a comically large, cloudy sheet of plastic.

The crying was coming from the girls attempting to use it to roll up a lifeless body.

And for a moment, he felt himself falter.

“We didn’t know, Ateş. It was a bad batch, or maybe it was laced with fentanyl or—”

The words were wasted when all of a sudden everything seemed to go very quiet. Deniz might’ve been attempting to explain himself to avoid meeting a similar fate, and yet all Ayaz could hear were the whimpers of the women who seemed to think themselves to blame as opposed to the piece of shit behind him. An unfocused gaze dropped down to Berat’s face; eyes opened but empty, vomit very obviously starting to dry around his face and neck and at his shirt and…

“Look, maybe Kerem will be okay with this after everything that happened…”

Whilst he might not have heard the excuses, Ayaz had sure fucking heard that.

What?

Until that fleeting moment, it’d been his intention to drag Deniz out into the streets of Haringey and make an example of him like he fucking deserved. A reminder that when he said something, demanded it, he expected people to listen. But, as if he no longer possessed control of his body at all, the very same gun he’d used to scare the guard just upstairs unloaded two piercingly loud shots right into Deniz’s terrified fucking face without so much as a hint of what was to come.

Let’s see how much he’d have to say after that, huh?

And he was shaking now as the body hit the floor. Not like the women who had retreated in fear that they might be next, but enough that he’d almost lost the weapon in his hand.

Almost stumbled into the wall beside him.

Ayaz had expected to come here and scream obscenities at him. Tell him how much of a waste it was that he’d lived whilst Ceren had died and how he wished every day that’d been different. Maybe throw a few punches to bring him back to reality, and maybe a few because he wanted to, and perhaps, in a worst case scenario, get him back to Tottenham so he could sober up before he could do any of those things…but this?

Suddenly, he felt ill.

“Is he dead?”

It seemed stupid to ask when he hadn’t moved an inch since he’d gotten there. No breathing, no blinking, no choking…

“We tried—we tried to help him but—”

“Why didn’t anybody call for help?”

“Sir, we’re not allowed to call for help.”

Ayaz reached a hand up to his mouth. It’d been out of exasperation, shock, and yet he found himself using it to stifle a sob he hadn’t even known was building. As if it was the first step in a chain reaction, his vision went blurry with tears, and he dropped to a crouching position beside his old friend as if it might once again afford him the ability to breathe.

When he reached out to feel for a pulse, he already knew it was in vain, but what if they were wrong? What if they’d assumed the worse in haste, and…

“I’m sorry.”

The woman didn’t dare reach out to him, but the pain behind her eyes was so sincere when she muttered the words, he couldn’t help but wonder how many times she’d been in a situation like this before tonight.

Berat was dead.

Berat was dead, and he decidedly couldn’t fucking breathe.

‘Look after him once I’m gone, won’t you? We’ve never been away from each other before, and I think it’s going to hurt him…’

Ceren’s words echoed in his head, mocking his abject failure, and he’d never been horrified to recall any part of her until that moment.

How little would she think of him now?

When his cousin had pleaded with him to keep an eye out for Berat in spite of the fact they’d chosen different sides, she’d meant because she was headed to Porto Velho with her Rutherford boyfriend. It’d all seemed less serious, less important. And then she was gone, and suddenly a mild concern sounded more like a dying wish. If only she’d known how much he’d end up hurting, maybe she wouldn’t have asked something so monumental…

Ayaz pinched at the bridge of his nose, damp from tears.

Took a deep breath as his eyes once more focused on Berat.

The realisation he’d never speak with him again weighed heavy.

That he’d likely never see him again, more so.

As he pulled out his phone to call one of people, his voice was so thick the first few words of his statement had been lost entirely:

“I need a couple of cars here now. Deniz is dead. I want these girls out of here.”

“Is…what’s going on? Are you good? Did you find Berat?”

“Just send the fucking cars, Greg.”

[sisterspooky1013]

What Desire Will Make Foolish People Do, 1/3

Rated X | Read it here on AO3

His best guess is that the guy is an ex-boyfriend. They aren’t too far from Stanford; she could have called ahead and set something up. He doesn’t think she’d pick a guy up at a bar—not that he’d judge her if she did. It just seems unlikely that she’d risk it after what happened last time.��

  Maybe it’s that hippie guy she told him about. The one who had greasy dreadlocks and played guitar. Or maybe it’s one of her former classmates, some guy who’s a brain surgeon at Cedar Sinai or fixes kids’ cleft palates for free out of the goodness of his heart. Someone smart and accomplished. Someone worthy of her time. 

  Scully laughs, high and girlish, and Mulder clenches his fists. His fingernails dig into the meat of his palms and it hurts. The physical pain helps distract from the mental anguish, so he digs them in deeper.

  She’s been on the phone a lot since he told her about their travel plans a few days ago. At first he was worried that she was talking to her doctor, and his lingering fears about her cancer returning kept him awake all night devising new plans to save her life for good. But then he caught a wide, toothy smile on her mouth during one of those calls when she didn’t realize he was watching her, and his stomach dropped out. The good news is, she isn’t dying. The bad news is, her brush with death seems to have inspired her to live her life more fully—with someone else. 

He knows he holds no claim to her, but that hadn’t prevented him from feeling like shit when she turned down his offer to eat dinner together and disappeared into her room the second they wrapped up their fieldwork for the day. He should have gone down to the local bar to drown his sorrows, but, being a glutton for punishment, he stuck around to catch a glimpse of the competition (Tall. Blond. Completely average looking). He watched them get into the guy’s Lexus and drive off, and when they returned a couple hours later he shamelessly peeked through the curtains to see whether she’d kiss him goodnight. The kiss itself was a punch to the gut, but then after several minutes of hushed conversation she invited the guy in, and now Mulder is lying splayed out on his bed listening through paper thin walls as Scully slowly wades into a sexual encounter with someone who probably makes twice as much money as he does and has half as many idiosyncrasies.     

  He knows Scully doesn’t care about stuff like that. She’s not shallow. But it’s more comfortable for him to imagine that she’s chasing rich doctor dick than to confront the fact that she’d rather get her rocks off with some nobody from her past than give him the time of day. He doesn’t blame her—he knows he’s no prize—but still. He’s always kind of thought there was something between them. Something that meant they wouldn’t see other people, even if they weren’t seeing each other. At least that’s how he felt, and the realization that it wasn’t reciprocal hurts in a way he doesn’t know how to process. 

  He hears a low, deep moan from the other side of the wall, and something angry and wounded wells up in him. It’s one thing to hear her feeling good, but knowing that she’s pleasuring another man feels like such a betrayal that tears prick at his eyes. He wants to be angry with her for allowing him to hear this, but he went to great lengths to make her think he’d gone out so he could spy on her, including moving the rental car, turning off all the lights in his room, and ignoring her knock at his door shortly before her “date” arrived. He just wanted to see what the guy looked like, but he’s getting a whole lot more than he bargained for. He hears the snap of her bedside lamp switching off and he gets to his feet, not really allowing himself to think about what he’s doing. 

  He pounds on her door with the side of his fist, his heart blasting in his ears and his jaw clenched. It takes entirely too long for her to answer, though he can hear muffled whispers through the chipped wood and sees a flash of light through the peephole. When she opens the door it’s only wide enough for him to see her face, which is flushed beneath her mussed hair. Her lips are parted and swollen, and she seems out of breath. She looks unkempt and beautiful, and he feels equally relieved and devastated. It’s only after staring at her for a handful of seconds that he realizes he’s going to need to offer some explanation for his abrupt arrival outside her door. 

  “What is it?” she asks, her eyes flashing over her shoulder and giving her away.

  He almost tells her that it’s her mother, but he doesn’t want to make her worry, and honesty is definitely not the best policy in this particular circumstance. 

  “There’s another body,” he blurts out, and her shoulders sink. “Sheriff just called me.”

  “Okay,” she says with a defeated sigh. “Give me ten minutes.” 

  He pulls the car around and watches her door as he waits for her. He doesn’t see the mystery man, but the lights in her room are still on when she emerges thirteen minutes later and closes the door behind her. He wonders if the guy will wait for her to come back. Lord knows he would. 

  “Where is it?” she asks as she slides into the passenger seat, smelling like toothpaste and hairspray. 

  He looks at her while she buckles her seatbelt and pulls down the visor to check her makeup in the mirror. She’s wearing jeans and a blue T-shirt with her suit jacket thrown on over top, and he wonders how far they got before he interrupted them. In his experience, the woman’s shirt is always the first to go, and he has an image of her topless against the ugly motel bedspread, her nipple perched between the mystery man’s lips. His cock stirs and he blinks the thought away, disturbed by his own bodily response. As he’s interrogating how he could possibly get turned on by thinking about her with another man, he realizes that she’s staring at him, waiting for an answer. 

  “By the river,” he says, putting the car in reverse and backing away from their rooms and the scene of Scully’s almost-indiscretion. 

  She doesn’t ask any other questions, and he certainly doesn’t offer additional information seeing as how he doesn’t have any to give. He’s not even sure if there’s a river in this area. He just drives, mentally mapping how far they are from their point of origin so he doesn’t get lost. The longer they drive, the more panicked he becomes about how to get himself out of this situation. He doesn’t want to take her back to the motel, but he also doesn’t have a body to show her. To his own shame, he makes a Hail Mary plea to the universe that there’s another murder just so he has a reason to keep her in the field. 

  “Mulder,” she says after a time. 

  Her tone carries the hint of a question, but there’s an undercurrent of accusation that only he could possibly detect. He swallows and decides to accept his fate. This situation probably can’t get any better, but it can definitely get worse. 

  “Yeah?” he rasps through a tight throat.

  “Where are we going?”

  The question has a singsong quality that makes the hair on the back of his neck stand up. It’s how she talks to him when she’s preparing to hand him his own ass. He pulls off on the side of the road and kills the engine, then stares straight ahead through the bug-smeared windshield as she bores a hole in the side of his face with her eyes. 

  “Are we lost?” she asks derisively, like he’s a stupid child. 

  “No, we’re just a couple miles off the main drag,” he answers flatly. 

  “So where’s the river?”

  “Not sure if there is one.”

  A pause. 

  “And the body?”

  “Not sure if there’s one of those, either.”

  He can’t bring himself to look at her, but he doesn’t really need to. He can feel the shifting energy in the car as she works through confusion, suspicion, realization, and then something else that he can’t quite read. The windows are slowly fogging over and he realizes just how sufficiently he’s trapped himself. There’s no obvious way forward. 

  “Why did you knock on my door, Mulder?” she asks. She sounds afraid of what the answer is. 

  “I’m sorry, Scully,” he tells her, dropping his head to stare at his own lap. “I just couldn’t take it anymore.”

  “Take what?” There’s so much trepidation in her voice that he starts to feel guilty instead of worried about what she’s going to do to him. 

  “Hearing you—” he starts, then stops. “That guy. I just…I couldn’t.”

  The silence is so thick he starts to become lightheaded. He can’t look at her, can’t allow the image of whatever face she’s making right now to be imprinted on his brain. He hears her breathing pick up into quick, heavy breaths that could mean tears or rage, and he waits to find out what happens. To him. To her. To them. Probably, the option of there ever being a “them” is now off the table. 

  “You were listening to me?” she finally asks him, removing any doubt about how she is receiving this information. She’s furious. 

  “Not intentionally,” he defends himself, glancing at her only long enough for his testicles to self-protectively retreat into his body. “The walls are thin.”

  “You weren’t there, Mulder. The car was gone, the lights were off. Did you—did you hear me knock on your door?” 

  “I think it’s best that I don’t answer that,” he says contritely, and she sucks in a huge breath. 

  “What the fuck , Mulder?!” she yells, making him jump. Scully rarely swears, and she’s never sworn at him before. “I am genuinely asking, what the fuck is wrong with you?!”

  He does look over at her then. He can’t believe that she’s talking to him this way. Not because he doesn’t deserve it, but because Scully is always careful with her words. He needs some visual feedback to understand what she’s feeling. Her eyes are wide, nostrils flaring, jaw set. But there are also tears pooling along her lash line, and her bottom lip is trembling. 

  “If I knew the answer to that I would have saved my parents a lot of money on therapy bills,” he quips, inexplicably returning her anger. “It’s not like you were exceedingly discreet, Scully, taking your little secret phone calls all week and then ditching me for the evening. I could have come back at any time, only to walk into my room and be greeted by you getting railed by some Silicon Valley hotshot who hopefully doesn’t give you chlamydia, or worse.”

  Her jaw begins to drop partway through his diatribe, and by the end it’s gaping open in utter disbelief. He immediately wishes he could take it back. He’s not even sure why he’s getting angry at her when he knows he’s the one in the wrong. She collects herself, blinking away tears and regaining composure. He thinks she’s going to ask him to take her back to the motel, but she doesn’t. 

  “I suppose you can’t get sexually transmitted infections from 1-900 numbers, can you, Marty ?” she spits at him, and a flare of shame joins up with his anger. Anger is all he’ll allow himself to feel. The rest hurts too much. 

  “Yeah, well, pathetic as it may be, I find it a bit more noble to get my jollies from a stranger on the phone than sticking it in anyone who happens to be in the same city as me at any given time,” he shoots back. “I mean honestly, Scully, would I have to be the last man on earth? It’s hard not to take it a bit personally.”

  Once again, there is immediate regret. He hadn’t meant to say it, though he’s certainly had the thought many times. He feels her staring at him, but she doesn’t say anything right away. 

  “Let me just make sure I have all the facts straight here,” she says, too-levelly. It feels like a trap. “You knew that I was having someone over, so you tricked me into thinking you weren’t at the motel in order to spy on me, and then you became so enraged when you realized that I intended to have sex with that person that you practically beat my door down and lied to me to get me away from him because…you think I should be having sex with you ?”

  All of what she said is absolutely true, but hearing it laid out in that way makes him sound like a really awful person. At some point he’ll have no choice but to explore the possibility that he is, in fact, exactly that. 

  “I do not think you should be having sex with me,” he corrects her. “I’m simply drawing attention to the fact that you seem inclined to have sex with anyone but me.”

  She laughs and he looks over at her, surprised. Her smile is somewhat crazed, certainly not happy. He suddenly wonders if she might hit him. 

  “Are you fucking kidding me?” she says quite loudly with that same maniacal smile on her face. “Is this a joke? Are you actually sitting here, in this car, right now, telling me that I would have sex with anyone but you?”

  He takes the question to be rhetorical, but when he doesn’t answer she juts her chin out and raises her eyebrows at him. 

  “Is that not accurate?” he asks instead of answering. 

  “Is that not accurate?” she repeats under her breath, turning her face toward the foggy window briefly. “You know what’s accurate, Mulder? I have invited you to spend time with me outside of work on numerous occasions, and you always say no. It’s also accurate that I have been almost embarrassingly flirtatious with you to no effect. It would also be accurate to point out that I practically threw myself at you when we ditched that damn conference so you could go play in the woods, and you ditched me too.” She pauses, and her anger dampens to something closer to frustration. “I would say what’s accurate is that I have done all but directly asked you if you have any interest in…things being different between us, and you have ignored or declined every single advance. That is accurate, Mulder. So forgive me if I find it just a bit hard to understand why you’re acting like I broke your heart and handed you the pieces because I got tired of waiting for you to look up from your case files and decided to live my life. One that I nearly lost, if you recall.”

  He blinks at her, trying to assimilate the information she just unloaded into his mental schema for his and Scully’s relationship. Embarrassingly flirtatious? Threw herself at him? He has no idea what she’s referring to. 

  “Scully—” he tries, but she cuts him off. 

  “Take me back to the motel, Mulder,” she says curtly, turning to face the windshield and crossing her arms over her chest. “Whatever you’re going to say, I don’t want to hear it. I’ve already heard more than enough.”

  He starts the engine and drives until he finds his way back into town. He doesn’t speak, and neither does she. 

Tagging @today-in-fic

[eddiessidegirl]

Your DMs are always welcome, my dear. Ohh! I almost forgot! I have a prompt for you. Congrats on the followers! You deserve it 💕 I wanna do a fun sleepover too, really soon.

Could I possibly request Eddie with an alt/punk girlfriend? I don't usually see a whole lot of Punk!Reader and it would make my week. Something fluffy and fun, no pressure.

Omg, this took forever and I’m so so so sorry 😭 please forgive me. I hope this is good, and makes sense.

For Want Of

Summary: Punkrocker Tara is in love with Eddie Munson

Pairing: Eddie x Punk/Alt!Fem Reader

Warnings: Standard 18+ for my blog, this is a fluff piece, angst (if you squint), mutual pining, minor drug use and drinking (typical teen shit), let me know if I missed anything

Word count: 4166 words

Alarm clock blaring, record player left in the final stages of playing last nights record, and the person sized lump on the bed under the covers. This was how Tara’s mother found her in the morning on this particular Friday morning. “Tara, I swear to Jesus himself if you do not get out of bed this minute, you’re losing car privileges this weekend and you will not be able to go hang out with your little friends. You’ll be forced to clean out the garage with your father.” A cigarette dangled from her mothers thin, pursed lips her fake attempt at being a good mother was such a lie. She was only mad that her stupid church friends heard that her only daughter was out at all hours of the night hanging out with other teens who dressed like she did: coloured hair, dark makeup and listening to Misfits on full blast while driving the streets of Hawkins, Indiana. But most of all her mother hated hearing she’d been seen talking to and being around a one Eddie Munson. He was a drug dealer, a cult leader, and he listened to “that God awful music” as her mother put it.

“Will you lower your fucking voice? I heard you the first time you bellowed at me like an hour ago. Fucks sake.” Her voice draped in sleep, mascara and eyeliner smudged and giving her the raccoon look. Tara pushed the blankets back and slid into her jeans and pulled a Ramones shirt over her head - not bothering with a bra.

Jonathan was already waiting outside for her, mug of coffee in hand for her to drink while they drove to pick up Robin, his little brother Will in the back seat, his newest companion guide for his game night with his friends in hand, he didn’t even notice her sliding into the front seat. “So, is today the day? Or are you never gonna tell him? I mean Graduation is coming up quick, and you’re not gonna be here forever,” He asked her, he’d known she’d had a thing for the town drug dealer for ages but never worked up the courage. Sure she could throw down with assholes who grabbed her ass but Munsons’ chocolate eyes just made her stomach do flips. Her arm reached across the front seat and she shoved her best friend.

“Shut it, Byers. What about you and Wheeler? You guys gonna cut the shit and finally figure out your college bull? Or are you just gonna pretend that you still haven’t gotten your rejection letter to Emerson?” He shot her a nasty look, but it softened when he saw she was just poking fun at him, she laughed teasingly an scooped her hair into a bun.

They secured Robin who was all giggles about this girl Vickie and she loved how happy her friend was, being yourself was hard in this town but the three of them did their best to never hide their true selves around each other. It just sucked big time that the rest of the town didn’t subscribe to the same thoughts and feelings.

-

Tara had turned 18 in December, and while Eddie was still in high school he was a super senior, 19 going on 20. She’d liked him ever since she could remember, but it became more prevalent when he turned up to school when she was 13 and he 15, his buzzed hair grown out and dressed in a battle vest and leather with heavy metal band pins all over it. She herself had always been more into the punk scene. She’d seen the Clash in concert in Chicago with Jonathan and they were planning to she The Cramps this summer before she moved for college. But she could tolerate his music tastes, if only he paid her an ounce of attention aside from selling her dime bags here and there.

She’d gotten lost in her thoughts and wasn’t paying attention as they exited the car, “watch it freak I don’t want to catch whatever it is you have wrong with you.” Carol Perkins cackled and turned back towards her friends, brushing off pretend dirt as they walked away from the group. Tara flipped them all the middle finger and shoved her bag further up her shoulder. “Christ, you’d think she’d have levelled out after Wheeler smacked her when she made fun of her for dating you…” Tara muttered to Jonathan. Will had quickly gotten out of the car and was running towards his little nerd herd, the four of them colliding around Eddie and his friends, collectively they were the Hellfire Club, the only Dungeons and Dragons club in all of Hawkins and subsequently made them the butt of every joke, but Tara knew that after the years of trauma those kids had suffered they deserved too feel some happiness even if they were mocked behind their backs.

Robin nudged her back “can you go get us some weed for this weekend? I can’t get caught with it in my room again, my parents are already on edge after the last time.” There was a smile on her friends lips that said this was more than a transactionary meeting that would be happening.

A small huffing noise came from Taras throat. “Later. I’ll pop a note into his locker for a lunch meeting.”

Which she did, it was a folded triangle note with few words “Forest clearing. Lunch. -T” Eddie pocketed the note, grinning, Tara was his favourite customer, not only because she was a consistent buyer which made it possible to do upkeep on his van but also because she was a person who didn’t judge him, her being hot was just a bonus. And what Tara didn’t know is that he had a thing for her too, and she’d never noticed that he gave a deep discount on all her purchases. Hell, she could ask to walk on his back in her Docs and he’d say “yes please” and ask her to do it again.

-

Lunch rolled around and both parties were walking enthusiastically towards the meeting spot, Eddie, lunch box in hand and Tara, with her headphones on listening to a mix-tape that Byers had given her to check out.

She was walking head down and collided with something hard, but also soft, clearly a person. She took off her headset and yelled “Hey! Watch where the fuck you walk asshole!” But when she actually focused on who she was yelling at it her whole face went beet red, in fact if you’d placed her face next to an actual beetroot you wouldn’t have been able to tell the difference between the two. It was Eddie. He’d been standing by the bench watching her walk towards him the whole time and when she smacked into him he lost it. His body was rocking back and forth with laughter, tears streaming down his cheeks as he tried to compose himself, one of his ringed hands clutching the picnic table for stability.

“I’m so sorry, that was actually one the best things I’ve seen, T.” His voice slightly hoarse from laughing, “y-you just..and then…oh my god.” And he was off again.

Tara tried her hardest to be mad, but she couldn’t, it was funny, and the hard shell exterior she had always cracked a little when she was around Eddie. “Shuddup Munson…” she mumbled, her mouth in a smile, reaching to punch his arm lightly. “I’m supposed to be here buying weed, not making you piss yourself.”

He sat down and placed his elbow on the table, his lunchbox beside him, hand tucked under his chin, “ooo a woman serious about her business.. I love it” his eyes sparkled and watched her sit, clocking the fact that’s her chest jostled freely but focused on her face. “How much are we talking?” His nimble fingers opening the lunch box, gesturing to the nuggets inside.

“An eighth’ll do.. it’s for Robin, Jon and I for the weekend, we’re going to watch movies and play some pool at the Byers since their moms going to Hoppers this weekend,” he’d nodded and starting doling it out, it was like time slowed down and then sped up because before Tara knew it her mouth was speaking words and she couldn’t stop them from coming, “y-you should come too, Jon’s bringing Nancy and Robin will be bringing Vickie, I really don’t want to be playing pool on my own.” The blush had come back just as strong only now it was creeping down her neck and disappeared into her shirt. What was she doing? This was stupid. She told herself of course he didn’t wanna hang out with a bunch of 18 year olds.

“Sure, I mean, I’ve got nothing better to do, just running campaign tonight and then free all weekend.” She couldn’t tell if he was joking or not, but it didn’t seem like it. Her heart raced. “It’s on me since I’ll be there, don’t worry about paying me.” He handed her a bag that was clearly more than what she asked for and got up. “See you there, sweetheart” he called out, and disappeared into the trees back to his van to calm his nerves. He was basically going on a date with the girl he liked and he couldn’t believe it.

“I didn’t even tell him when it was…” Tara couldn’t find him to tell him and she didn’t want to be late to class, since the teacher was friend of her mothers and she didn’t need more trouble before the weekend.

-

Saturday evening arrived faster than she thought it would. Bad Religions’ ‘We’re Only Gonna Die’ played on the speaker, Nancy was learning how to play pool with Vickie, Robin teaching both of them, Jonathan and Tara drinking a beer in the corner laughing every time one of them launched a cue ball off the table and had to get it. The air in the room was hazy with the smell of weed. Everyone was there, except Eddie, maybe he’d forgotten or maybe he just didn’t want to come after all. Besides why would he want to hang out with them when he could be hanging with his band mates or anyone else for that matter.

Eventually though, the windows lit up and at first everyone thought it was Joyce come back but then they heard Dio blaring from the vehicle and they knew it was definitely not Joyce. Tara went outside to meet Eddie, the air outside only slightly chillier than the house, plumes of smoke exiting behind her form.

“I see you guys started without me, it’s ok I brought extra provisions” he motioned to the bag of weed in his pocket and the beer in his hand. Eddie tucked his free arm into his pocket and tilted it towards Tara. With the high she was experiencing being full force she was more apt to be nice to him, and she took the elbow he extended.

“Didn’t think you were gonna come, Munson.” Her eyes were blissed out and a smile across her features, she led him into the house, showing him where to put his stuff before going to the makeshift game room that they’d thrown together for the festivities.

A low chuckle escaped his mouth and he leant down so only she could hear him “I’d never miss an opportunity to hang out with my favourite client, especially when she’s dressed like this” he spun her slowly so to not give her stomach a bad turn, she’d forgotten she’d put on a leather skirt and a lacy tank top with her army jacket, it wasn’t even intentional, at least not consciously anyways. The blush she experienced the prior afternoon returned. He was slowly breaking her when it came her to attitude that she’d come to have after idolizing Joan Jett, Eddie Munson, it was clear would be the death of her.

“Can it Eddie,” she told him laughing the whole time, “get your ass in there so I can beat you and Byers in a game.” He let her lead the way and Eddie was met with cheers, he set the beer down and laid out the weed for replenishment. Tara told Jonathan to go the table and set up a game for the three of you now that Robin and Vickie had vacated it, opting to sit in the living room and watch movies instead.

-

The game was progressing well, Tara was up by a couple points, ‘How Soon is Now’ was playing quietly, and she was swinging her hips to the beat, while she lined up her shot. Eddie was staring. Hard. Nancy was quietly talking to Jonathan something about wanting to go home so she could get some yearbook work in before Monday. Robin and Vickie were still in the living room. Jonathan told Tara and Eddie that he’d be back soon.

“Is this how you pictured your Saturday night, Munson? Hanging out with us listening to punk, playing pool?” She looked over her shoulder at him, a glazed look in her eyes but her mouth turned up in a smile, she’d never admit it but the air felt electric when it was just the two of them and the high made it better.

He grinned back “well, no, but I’m having fun and the view is amazing which is a bonus.” Eddie’d moved closer to her his hand next to hers on the pool table, his lanky frame towering over her smaller one, especially since she was slightly crouched from planning her next play.

Maybe it was the high, maybe it was the few beers she ingested but the room was hazy, and even though she knew people were in the room next to theirs, they felt immensely alone, and they were never alone in any capacity apart from her buying. She straightened and stood up, in the soft warm lights of lamps and with the smoke swirling around him, Eddie looked entirely different. Ethereal almost. Her eyes darting around his face as she took him in. He was far different from his school persona, and his dealer one as well. Softer, but maybe it was the weed.

Eddie on the other hand was only high, he had to drive home so he hadn’t been drinking but he too was focused intently on her face. Tara was so very different from everyone, even himself, a metalhead. But he knew a lot of it was a mix of rebellion and self expression. Her parents were overbearing and hyper religious. And he’d definitely knew there was a softer side to her that she didn’t show unless she was among friends or alone. In public, she was brash, loud. In private she was kind, funny and cared deeply for her friends no matter what they were going through.

Finally when the game was finished, and she’d rightfully so kicked his ass the two of them made their way to the living room, Robin and Vickie had fallen asleep on the couch leaving only the recliner to sit on. Neither of them had the heart to wake the sleeping couple, Eddie was quietly insisting on sitting on the floor and Tara had to interject, “uh, no, I’m not watching…” she looked over the VHS box that he’d tossed to the ground, “The Texas Chainsaw Massacre in this chair alone, get your denim clad ass up here.”

Shaking his head back and forth in a self argument way he eventually climbed into the seat of the chair and Tara settled half on his thigh and half on the arm of the chair, Eddie swiped his arm behind her and put her wholly in his lap. “Don’t need your ass cheek falling asleep mid-movie.”

The two of them sat in silence, save for a few squeaks or soft ewws when something really gross happened. One particular scene when the teen girl was strung up and Leatherface was coming at her with his chainsaw Tara tucked her head into Eddie’s neck and out of instinct, he pressed his mouth to the top of her head and made sure to tell her when it was over. Butterflies had erupted everywhere in her body at this gesture, she still didn’t know if it was friendly or more. It didn’t really matter at this point.

Instead of lifting her head, she slid it so her face was forward, the movie was almost over and Tara was getting sleepy, the amount of weed she’d smoked and the beer she drank starting to weigh heavy on her senses in earnest. Eyes sliding shut, she fell into a not very restful but deep sleep, Eddie sat awake the whole time until the movie ended and then he too fell asleep, Tara’s body warmth the perfect blanket.

-

Loud voices woke everyone in the living room early, Robin and Vickie disentangled and tossed Tara look, both had their eyebrows raised. The only person still seemingly asleep was Eddie, Tara tried to undo his grip but it was too tight.

“HEY! EDDIES’ VAN IS HERE! Eddie I need help with my character” a voice rocketed through the house as the door opened, it was a one Dustin Henderson, and Munsons eyes flew open.

“Shit. Just a second Henderson, lemme go tame the beast.” He moved to get off the recliner and forgot Tara was minorly tethered to him, pulling her forward and then the two of them collapsing into a pile, Robin cackling, wiping the leftover eyeliner and mascara from her face as the two of them disengaged their limbs. Tara flipped Robin off but laughed along with her, the situation was really funny, only now her ass was bruised from the fall.

She stumbled to the kitchen, eyes bleary with sleep still, “Yo, Jonathan, is there any coff..ee?” Only the person in the kitchen wasn’t her best friend, it was Joyce and Hopper at the kitchen table both sipping their own mugs of dark coffee.

“Jonathan is in his room, but there’s plenty of coffee, dear.” Mrs Byers gave Tara a soft smile and nodded towards the coffee pot. Pouring herself a cup she stretched and cracked her back, the position shed laid in all night had caused her back to be sore, but she was well rested, she did have a good pillow after all.

Hopper cleared his throat “so…how long have you and…” he gestured to where Eddie had gone to fix his hair “…been a thing?” Tara shook her head and explained that they were just friends. “Didn’t seem like just friends the way you were clinging to each other like your life depended on it.” he chuckled as Tara high tailed it out of the kitchen to the respite of the living room where she in turn was grilled for the entire time Eddie was outside talking to the kids about the campaign.

-

Tara took a few days off from everyone, she needed a clear head about what had happened between her and Eddie, did he really like her or was he just being nice to her because she buys weed from him? On the third day, her bedroom phone rang continuously for two hours, but instead she turned up her music and just kept thinking, focusing on the what ifs of a relationship that didn’t technically exist yet, if ever.

Eventually the room darkened as did the outside, her record player turned down low so her parents didn’t come up and confiscate it. “I really need to find my own place, I’m old enough, besides I hate this wall color…” her parents had painted it in ‘soft salmon’ what ever the fuck that meant and they wouldn’t ever allow her to change it.

“I dunno about you but I like it.” Came a voice from behind her, startling Tara and causing her to fall sideways off her bed. “Fuck, shit, are you ok??” It was Eddie he hauled ass through the rest of her window and around her bed to check on her.

“What the actual fuck are you doing in here?! Are you trying to get shot at?! My dad has a rifle in the goddamned linen closet.” Tara was pissed, but it was wavering as he held onto her hand and waist as he helped her to a standing position.

His brow furrowed, “you weren’t answering your phone and I got worried, that maybe something happened or that you were mad. They told me they kinda interrogated you after that morning and that was why you left.” He looked so mad for Tara and she couldn’t stay mad forever. She just kind of nodded and sat down.

“It was part of it, but also, I just needed space, to…think y’know?” His hair shook as he nodded and joined her on the bed. His hand taking hold of hers, letting her know he was there for her. “I’m confused about what happened or I guess didn’t happen and I got into my head about it.”

The two of them sat in the emptiness of sound for a bit, the record ending and dead air was the background noise for a bit, both of them thinking, Eddie was the one who broke the silence first, “look, Tara, I like you ok? And I got mad at them for being so nosy, it was none of their business.” He shuffled closer on the bed, holding onto her hand like a life preserver. His eyes searching hers. Hopeful.

Tara’s mouth was dry, but there was a moment when she thought she was going to throw up, but she knew nothing would come up. This was the moment she’d been waiting for forever. Through all the teasing from her friends, through 5 years of stares. “I like you two Eddie,” Tara’s face a shade of maroon, Eddie’s beaming, neither of them had expected this result. Tara expected to go off to college and have to find someone else to be with.

A few seconds passed, Eddie broke the silence, “so, are you going to kiss me?” His lips turned up in a wry smile. Tara shook her head and leaned forward, closing the gap between them. Pressing a kiss his his full lips, Eddie’s arms found a way around her waist and this felt like home. Her own hands found a way up to his mess of curls, but before they could go any further Jonathan’s voice called out from the door.

“Fina-fucking-lly.” Him and Robin had shut eating grins on their faces, they were beyond happy for their friend. But most importantly they didn’t have to listen to her pining over him in the mornings anymore.

“Shut it.” She retorted, a smile plastered on her face, Eddie’s hidden since he was distracted by her neck but she could feel a smile of his own on her skin.

1986, it turned out was their year.

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[moonlightndaydreams]

Deep End - Part 6

Part 6: 3.5K words approx

Available on Ao3 HERE

Characters: OFC Aura, Minho, Han

Overall Summary: AU/ Minho is the new accountant at Aura's work, and he's got his sights set on her. But what happens when her ex Han comes back into the picture.

Workplace romance with a blast from the past for Aura.

Part 6 Summary: Aura and Minho come back from a date. Aura has to search for Han.

Warnings for part 6: I want to warn you in advance that this chapter is more emotional and heavy. There is a flashback to Han passed out drunk. There is mention of car accidents and injury and a visit to the hospital. There are nightmares

Read Part 5 Here

-----------------------------

Aura felt the anticipation buzzing through her as Minho pulled into the small, unevenly paved parking space outside of her townhouse.

He could barely keep his eyes on the road the entire drive back to her place, so much so she thought he was going to crash the car at one point. It took all of her self control not to demand he pull over and let her climb on top of him. She did, however palm his erection through his pants with one hand, whilst exposing and playing with one of her breasts.

He’d been late to pick up Aura for date, but he’d made up for it taking her to a cozy restaurant, where he gave her his undivided attention. That might have sounded simple, and Aura was sure Hyunjin would find it deeply underwhelming when she tells them at work, but for Aura it was perfect.

“I can’t wait to finally make love to you properly, Aura.” Minho said in the restaurant. It made her heart flutter. Sure they’d fucked, and sure they’d had tender moments. But it had always been rushed. Tonight they could take their time.

It had been raining earlier, but the sprinkling had stopped now, and so Minho took this chance to hop out of the car and make his way around to open Aura’s door for her. They carefully walked up the little path, paved in the same haphazard, uneven fashion as the parking space. A fun little tripping hazard.

As they reached the bend in the path close to the porch, Aura could see the shape of a person as she rounded a shrub. There, sitting on her little bench under the porch light a figure sat, head buried in his hands.

Aura’s heart sank, and that old feeling of dread began to bubble up through her chest. Han? She stood stiffly, but her shoulders slumped, and her arm fell to her side, and her handbag dangled on the ground.

Why was he here? Of all nights to turn up. Why tonight? Why?

Han slowly lifted his head. He looked like shit. Wearing his standard leather jacket, and black jeans. His skin was moist from the rain, or could he have been crying? Aura couldn’t quite tell. He looked longingly, no, desperately, at Aura, as though they were begging, screaming for help.

He opened his mouth to say something, the words were on the tip of his lips. Then his gaze shifted to Minho, and an understanding dawned on him. Without even speaking a word Han stood up and walked down the path towards Aura, who still hadn’t moved, and with one last look in her eye, he walked straight past her, bumping her shoulder. He was gone.

Aura closed her eyes and let out a deep breath and turned awkwardly and hesitantly to Minho. His expression was one of surprise and shock, and then confusion. Aura swore she heard him mumble “what the fuck is he doing here?”

She unlocked the front door with shaking hands. Once inside, Aura turned on the kitchen light and filled the kettle up to make cups of coffee. At this point Minho hadn’t said a word. Was he angry? What was he thinking? Aura felt ashamed. Minho seeing her ex boyfriend was the last thing she wanted to happen.

Awkwardness filled the air. Say something, Aura. She she looked across to the living area. Minho was busying himself with his phone. He looked pissed. He glanced up catching Aura’s gaze. “I just need to make a phone call.” He stated and stepped back outside.

Oh fuck. What a mess. This won’t do. She had to explain to Minho who that was. She bit her lip and turned her attention back to making the coffees and peeked at her phone on the kitchen bench. Eleven missed calls? 

“God dammit, Han.” she muttered under her breath. She picked up the phone to clear the missed calls from her list, but they weren’t from him at all. They were from his sister, Keely.

Aura’s thoughts jumped to the worst. She knew what he was like, and that was exactly the reason she didn’t want to be involved with him anymore. Aura felt sick in the pit of her stomach. What should she do? Should she call her back.

The sound of Aura’s phone ringing startled her, and she looked down at the screen. Keely, again. “Hello, Keely?” Aura said tentatively.

She was met with a hysterical voice on the other end.

“Aura is that you?” 

“Keely, slow down. What’s wrong? Has something happened?”

“Is Han with you?”

“No. What’s happened?”

“Oh Aura..” Keely sobbed. “It’s Mum.”

Minho stepped back in just as Aura ended the call. He looked distressed. “Aura,” he scratched his head. “Something’s come up. I… I gotta go.”

“Minho! Wait. I’m sorry you had to see that. It’s… Oh fuck.” She wailed.

Minho was by her side in a heartbeat, taking her hands in his. “Look. Do what you need to do okay. I’m sure Han’s okay. I’ll see you later.” He held her face in his hands for a moment. Aura couldn’t quite understand his tone, nor could she read his eyes. She didn’t have time to even think about that right now.

She needed to find Han.

————————————————

[Author’s Note: Aura never told Minho Han’s name?]

————————————————

It was late. Dark. Cold. Aura felt frantic and in a panic. He wasn't picking up his phone. Again. Twenty calls straight to his mobile. She needed him to pick up. She needed him to come home. This was important.

She grabbed her handbag and jumped in the car. It was starting to rain. Tears streamed down her face. She felt a heaviness, a sadness in her chest. She felt like sobbing. But she couldn’t just yet, she needed to find him first.

Why was he always like this? Why couldn't he be like a regular boyfriend? Why did she have to pick a guy who turned out to be a drunk? Why was she such a fool? She felt ashamed.

Aura drove down the city street. Headlights from other cars warped and blurred as they reflected on the wet road. She parked her car in a side street. With no umbrella, she began her search.

This was becoming her new normal. Tuesday nights. Out in the dark. Looking for that fucked up loser. Her hair was sopping wet. Her black leather jacket brushed off some of the rain. She passed the regular shop fronts, takeaway food shops, a mini super market. The streets were still busy from people going out for dinner and leaving restaurants, heading back to their cars. Couples. Work colleagues still dressed in their office clothes. Happy, normal, people. Would they know she was a normal person too? A regular person who fell in love with a broken, hurting person.

Aura trudged up a slight hill and turned into a bar. The lights were dim and the air felt dense and hazy because of the rain outside and the warmth inside. The place was fairly empty. Was he here? This time she found him easy enough. Him and his best mate in the corner. his friend was a burly, guy who could hold his liquor and he wasn't as addicted as Han. His friend, Billy, could hold down a job, whereas Han, well... he lost his last one 3 weeks ago.

As Aura approached the table she realised Han was passed out. Not unusual. She leaned down over him, drops of water coming off of her hair and onto his flushed, sweaty face. And he stank of bourbon.

She tried to shake him awake. He stirred ever so slightly and mumbled something she couldn't understand.

And then it hit her. A sudden realisation. She couldn't do this anymore. This recurring situation was hurting her. It was bringing her down to where he was. Hurt and broken. She couldn't help him anymore. He didn't want to help himself.

The frantic feeling had gone, and was replaced with a calmness, an acceptance. But it was only for a moment until that feeling inside her returned, that heaviness, the need to sob overwhelmed her and she could feel it rise up within her. She let go of Han, stood back up and turned and walked away.

She didn't look back, although parts of her wanted to. The voices and feelings inside her were pulling her, tearing her in a thousand directions, but this one voice, her soul, a quiet inner voice, whispered "its time to let go". It was the voice she decided to finally listen to.

As Aura hopped back in her car, she could finally let it out. The sobbing. It came loud and her body shook. She wasn't sobbing for him anymore, she was sobbing for herself, the self she had lost to him. She was sorry to herself for staying so long, and promised herself then and there that she would always put herself first.

————————

Now Aura was driving along searching for Han. Again. Like old times. Keely’s words replayed in her mind as she drove through the night. 

“Mum’s in hospital… She was in a car accident, Aura.. we don’t if she’s going to make it!” 

Aura let out a deep sigh. She had been holding her breath and her body was tense. Her hands shook and her knuckles had turned white from gripping the steering wheel so hard. Her heart was pounding. 

Keely had said Han had disappeared and they couldn’t contact him. They were worried about him, especially since he was sober these days. Aura was worried too. Should Aura have told Keely that Han was waiting at her house?

She took a left hand turn into the same street that she found Han that last time. The last time she spoke to him. The night she decided she’d had enough and that she deserved better.

But tonight was different. An exception. She needed to help Keely, she needed to help their Mum. Oh how could this have happened to her? A car had hit her whilst at a pedestrian crossing, the driver still not found. Aura cast her mind back to when she used to visit her when Han and her were together. A lovely, caring woman. A Mother Hen. She would cook a great big dinner, making sure everyone was full and happy. 

Deciding to continue the search on foot, Aura pulled the car over to the side of the road and grabbed her cardigan to help shield her from the night air.

The light sprinkling had stopped and the night sky was  beginning to clear. She felt so bad for having to cut the evening short with Minho. He acted so strange, and left so abruptly.

But she couldn’t dwell on that. She could make up for it later. She could explain herself better, later. Keely was at the hospital, she needed someone to help find Han, and that someone was Aura. Sure there was probably someone else who could be out there searching, but what kind of person would she be if she turned a blind eye and left them to themselves? She couldn’t do that to their Mum. Han had already caused too much heartache in the past.

Aura checked all the places she could think of. Asked the bartenders if they had seen him. They knew him well, but no one had seen him.

“Sorry, Aura,” Simon from the Oxet said, voice raised above the noise of the patrons. 

“I haven’t seen him. Haven’t seen him a long time actually”. He gave a customer some change and came over to where Aura was standing at the end of the bar. “I heard he’s sober these days”. Simon spoke in hushed tones now he was closer to Aura. “Yeah, Bobby was talking about him a couple of months back.” Keely hadn’t mentioned any of this. 

An image flashed in her mind of Han on her doorstep earlier that night. He wasn’t drunk. He was upset. He had nowhere to go. Aura shook that thought out of her mind. She didn’t need to feel guilty. He did have somewhere to go. Somewhere to be. With his sister, with his mum, not Aura’s fucking front porch! “God damn you, Han” she uttered under breath.

After an hour of trying every bar she could think of, Aura decided to give up. Maybe he had gone back to the hospital? She decided to send Keely a text message. It was too late to call. Aura took in a big, deep breath and exhaled slowly. She had done all she could. All she could do now was hope that Han was somewhere safe and that he was okay.

The night sky was now completely clear now, and the moon shone bright, reflecting on the patches of wet road. She was almost back to her car, but instead of hopping in, she kept walking ahead. She hadn’t checked the cafes, or the park. She had just assumed that he’d be getting drunk. 

It was late, but a lot of the cafes still had lingering patrons who were enjoying late night coffees. Laughing, smiling. Happy people. Han wasn’t here either.

Aura felt tired now. Rubbing her hands on her face, she was almost ready to give up for good. But her eye caught a figure over in the park across the street. There was someone sitting on a bench, back towards Aura. A familiar black leather jacket and mop of black hair. Han.

She raced across the road, closer. Yes, it was definitely Han. Sitting alone. Sitting still, head down, deep in thought. Or asleep? Aura approached slowly and carefully. Beside him sat a brown paper bag. Spirits? Aura’s heart sank. Had he been drinking?

As if he could sense her, Han looked up. He’s features showed he was surprised to see her. But it only lasted a moment before returning to a solemn expression.

Feeling uncertain, Aura sat beside Han on the bench and looked at him intensely, trying to get a sense of what was going on for him. He didn’t smell like he’d been drinking. His cheeks were still moist though and his eyes red. 

Aura’s heart felt like it was breaking for him.

“Oh Han,” she managed to say. The first time she had spoken to him in so long. She didn’t know what else to say. What could she say? So she put her arms around his shoulders to comfort him. Aura could tell he was unsure, he tensed up, uncertain of the closeness between them. But after a moment, his guard dropped and he leaned his head down on Aura’s shoulder. His sobs grew louder and his chest heaved. He was heartbroken. He was devastated. He needed someone to be there for him. And in this moment, it was Aura. 

She let him cry for as long as he needed and when he was calm he finally spoke. “It’s all my fault, Aura” he finally said. Aura removed her arm from around Han’s shoulder and held her hand over his own that was resting on his thigh. 

“Han,” She squeezed his hand in a comforting gesture.

“It wasn’t your fault. Please don’t beat yourself -”

Han shook his head. “I was meant to pick Mum up from her appointment, and I was held up at the…” He swallowed hard and raised his face to the night sky. He blinked back more tears and let out a big sigh.

“If I had got there in time…”

“Look, let’s go the hospital. Your family needs you, Han” Aura whispered. She hoped she could convince him to go. They needed to stick together. Keely needed his support.

“I’ll drive you.” 

Han nodded and together they walked in silence back to Aura’s car.

----------------------

They drove to the hospital mostly in silence. Aura could feel his eyes on her as she drove. Every time she glanced over to him he was watching her. She wanted to say something to comfort him, but she couldn’t find the words.

“That guy you were with, how do you know him?” Han broke the silence.

Out of all the things he could have said, after an entire year of not seeing each other, that was what he asked?

“Han… He’s just someone I work with. It’s… it’s nothing.” She snapped. But her mind flashed back to what felt like some recognition between Han and Minho. No, they couldn’t know each other, surely?

It didn’t take long to arrive at the hospital, and the pair made their way to intensive care. It wasn’t hard to find Keely, sitting beside their Mother’s bed, holding her hand, head resting beside her on the mattress.

Standing in the doorway, Aura urged Han to go in and be with them, and slowly, hesitantly he did.

He moved a chair over beside Keely, who groggily raised her head. A look of relief flowed over her expression and she grabbed his hand, her other hand still holding their Mother’s. 

Their Mother lay unconscious, tubes and masks attached to her face and body, machines bleeping all around. Aura felt helpless in this moment. She couldn’t even begin to imagine what Keely and Han were going through. Grief, hope, fear? It probably felt like a nightmare they couldn’t wake up from. 

Aura took a deep breath and closed her eyes as she slowly exhaled. She had done all she could. This, being here at the hospital, this wasn’t her place. Han and Keely have each other. And so she quietly left.

--------------------

Aura tossed and turned that night. She couldn’t sleep. And when she did she kept dreaming about car accidents and hospitals. The worst one was of her walking down the footpath and suddenly a car loses control and mounts the kerb, hitting her. The impact sends her flying through the air and landing with a thud on the floor of the bar that she found Han passed out in that last time she searched for him. Except she was lying on the floor, Han crouching over her. Hair wet from rain, skin flushed from alcohol. “I am sorry, Aura, I didn’t see you… It’s all my fault.” Aura could feel a warm wetness oozing from the back of her head. Blood. It was on Han’s hands too. “I’m sorry” he kept saying. Frantically. Hysterically. Shaking Aura, trying to keep her awake, he just kept repeating himself “I’m sorry”.

Aura woke up startled. Panting, catching her breath. The skin on the back of her head and neck was warm and wet. Sweat. And she was alone. 

She let out a slow breath trying to steady her breathing as she reached out for the glass of water on the bedside table.

The sun was streaming through the window. Six o’clock. Shit. She thought. She’d better get up. 

Despite the lack of sleep, Aura got up and started to go about getting ready for work. She took a warm shower and ate a piece of toast, and tried to keep Han out of her mind. But images of him from last night kept creeping in. He didn’t deserve this to happen, sober or not, what happened was a tragedy.

She hadn’t dared look at her phone yet. She didn’t want to be greeted with any bad news. She would give Keely a call on her drive to work. She hopped into the car and mindlessly threw her bag on the passenger seat, and it tipped over spilling her phone and purse onto the floor. 

“Shit” she mumbled to herself. She leaned over and fumbled around for the phone and purse, but her fingers brushed against a papery texture. Han’s bottle of booze. Aura sat back up gripping the paper bag and it’s contents. It felt full. She untwisted the paper bag and pulled out a bottle of Jack Daniels? Unopened. 

Aura leaned back in her seat, closing her eyes she thought of the night before. Han was sober? Of course. She didn’t recall any odour of alcohol when she held him close on the park bench. She knew too well what he smelled like after a night of drinking. Actually the smell became just his everyday, permanent smell. She wrinkled her nose, shaking the memory out of her mind. She looked down at the bottle again. Part of her was in awe that he resisted the temptation. In the past, a bottle like this could have been drunk by him easily. He really had changed. 

Tears started to prickle her eyes. She’d abandoned him. That night in the bar. Left him there, on the floor semi passed out. 

Aura dug around on the floor again and found her phone. She needed to check in and see if everything was okay.

Aura surprisingly got to work on time despite the fog of fatigue and worry clouding her head. Luckily, today she could work on autopilot. A meeting at 9.30 to 10.30 and then she was going to take a break and stop by Keely’s house to get a few bits and pieces for her.

Keely and Han hadn’t left the hospital, they wanted stay by their Mum’s side in case of any change. They were taking it turns while the other took a quick nap. Deep down Aura knew that this might not be appropriate. Who was she to get involved in a family crisis? She really didn’t have a place to do that. Was it guilt that compelled her to help? Or the kindness of her heart? She wasn’t quite sure. The lines were blurred.

Read Part 7 Here

[I am so sorry if this chapter hit you in the guts. It certainly got to me. I can't promise things will be better next chapter, but I promise this story has a hopeful/happy ending.]

@channieandhisgoonsquad @lyramundana @2chopsticks2eyes

[ofstoriesandstardust]

seventeen going under teaser (b.r.b.)

note: today i am spiteing all my haters and posting a teaser for a new fic for the UVA years. enjoy. 

warnings: swearing, mentions of underage drinking

The door is slightly ajar as he holds his key in one hand, a box in the other. He knocks, if only to announce his presence and pushes the door open. The kid in the room is blasting music and barely glances up at him as he walks through the door. He sets the box down on the desk under the bare bed, taking in the meticulous way his roommate’s side of the room is set up.

“Hey man, you must be my roommate. I’m Bradley.” He says, sticking his hand out.

He was going to put his best foot forward here, Pete Mitchell be damned.

The guy barely turns to acknowledge he said anything at all. “Henry.”

Bradley bristles at his dismissiveness. “Well, nice to meet you Henry.”

“Yeah, you too, uhh...” The guy pauses, looking him over once more. “Brayden.”

Bradley purses his lips, resisting the urge to huff like a child.

Choosing his housing so last minute as he awaited an acceptance letter from the Naval Academy that would never come him had left him with bottom of the barrel choices.

Just another thing Pete Mitchell could be blamed for.

He turns towards the door, moving to go back down to his car to grab more stuff when Henry speaks again. “Oh yeah, Benjamin, just so you know, I’m planning to have a ton of girls over and I’ve got a fake, so there will definitely be alcohol in the room at all times. So if you’re a pansy about that, I’d find a new room mate.”

Asshole.

Bradley takes a deep breath to steel himself, because getting into a fistfight with his new roommate was not putting his best foot forward. “Yeah, whatever, Harry.”

The door slam behind him echoes through the hallway.

-

Bradley blindly pushes the door of the lecture hall open, noting he had three minutes until class started. The lecture hall was lively, buzzing with he excitement of students being back on campus, being in the first class of the semester.

He scans the pretty full rows, electing on one of the few empty seats in the back. He pulls his notebook out of his bag, opening the front to scrawl Spanish 1 in black pen on the first page. He fiddles with the pen as he waits for class to start, hoping no one slips in at the last minute to sit next to him.

He and Henry had been at each other’s throats since that every first meeting and somehow it felt like three months had passed instead of three days.

Granted, he couldn’t really hold his anger over his godfather being a traitorous piece of shit against Henry, but since Henry was in his line of vision and currently pissing him off, he’d utilize it anyways.

The door of the lecture hall opens at 10:02, someone whispering apologies and he squeezes through the row to get to the seat next to Bradley. He glances up at the kid as he sits down next to him, almost hitting Bradley with his backpack.

“-now, I want you to turn to the person next to you and introduce yourself to the person sitting next to you, along with telling them your major, and one thing you’d like to accomplish this semester, whether in this class or outside of it, academic or personal.”

The kid sitting next to him groans. “Man, icebreakers are so middle-school.” Bradley snorts, looking down to his paper as he begins to mindlessly doodle. “Well, I’m Eli.”

“Bradley.”

“What was the next- oh right, our majors. I’m a Business major.” Bradley nods, not looking up from his paper. “What about you?” Eli prompts.

“Undeclared.”

“Oh, that’s cool bro.” Bradley nods, still doodling on the paper in front of him. “Well, anyways, what’s your goal for this semester?”

“To not kill my fucking roommate.”

Eli lets out a hearty laugh, attracting the attention from some of the students around him. “Oh man, not having a good time?”

“You could say that.”

Eli sighs, stretching out. “Oh man, I kinda lucked out in the roommate department. Tommy’s chill.”

“How lucky for you.” He mutters, staring angrily at his paper.

“Anyways, you gonna ask me my goal for this semester, Bradley?”

He wanted to grunt and say no, tell this kid to fuck off, but he reminded himself that he couldn’t fault Eli for simply existing.

“What’s your goal for this semester?”

Eli’s voice drops to a whisper. “Man, to pass fucking Spanish 1.”

Bradley finally raises his head to look at Eli. “Yeah?”

Eli nods. “All the private tutors in the world couldn’t teach me a language if they tried. And trust me, my parents tried.”

“Private tutors?” Bradley asks incredulously. “Man, I just took regular Spanish in high school like everyone else.”

Eli leans back in his chair, waving a hand through the air. “I forget you peasants wouldn’t have luxuries like private tutors.”

Had the words been said with anything other than the teasing air in which Eli carried, Bradley probably would’ve leaned over and pushed him off his chair. But despite himself, he finds himself laughing at the remark. “Yeah, okay.”

“What about you? You any good? At speaking Spanish, that is?”

Bradley shrugs. “Yeah, I’m okay. I took AP Spanish in high school.”

Eli whistles. “What the fuck are you doing in Spanish 1 then?”

Bradley shrugs, choking down the memory of how he had missed the AP exam his junior year, finding out the morning of that his Mom wasn’t gonna get better.

He didn’t even sign-up to take the test his senior year, the memory still too fresh and sickening.

“Didn’t pass the test.”

Eli nods, as if he doesn’t quite believe him, but doesn’t press the matter futher. “Well, sounds like tough shit. Unlucky for you, but lucky for me, because I think I just found my new tutor.”

That punches another laugh out of him.

[edupunkn00b]

Overruled, Chapter 6: History Lessons

Prev - History Lessons - Next - Masterpost - [ AO3 ]

Day 6 of @loceitweek , Blast From the Past. His time with Remus makes a few things clear to Janus. WC: 1881 - Rated: T - implied sex, swearing

Bright, mid-morning sunlight streamed into Janus' bedroom through a gap in the curtains. But the sun had nothing to do with the warmth he woke to. Remus was still asleep, face buried against his chest, each breath warming his bare skin. One leg draped over his hip, the other tangled with his, Remus slept so close, sleeping on him might be a more apt description that sleeping with him. The closeness was… welcome.

“Jay,” Gabe would laugh, tickling his ribs to get him to move away in the steamy Georgian summer nights. “You’re too warm…”

“Too warm?” he’d laugh back, nuzzling against his belly. “That’s not what you said last night…”

Janus squeezed his eyes shut and buried his face in Remus’ hair. He wasn’t Gabe. Neither of them were. No-one was.

Last night, after their time together, Remus had pulled the blankets over him, then turned away, searching for those tattered jeans of his. The room had been dark, but the streetlamps outside cast a single beam across his face and Janus caught that same lost look he’d had outside the grocery store.

“Remus?” he sat up and reached for him, his alcohol-fuzzed reactions too slow to stop him from getting up. And too slow to keep Janus from wanting him to stay. “It’s late…”

He nodded, grabbing his jeans. “I know, Janus. I’ll let y’sleep.”

“No, ‘mus…” Janus tried again, this time catching his arm and tugging him closer. “Come to bed.”

“Didn’t I already?” he laughed, thin and brittle. He hadn’t pulled away, though.

Throwing back one corner of the blankets, Janus smiled, “Sleep here. Morning will arrive soon enough.”

He fiddled with the loops on his jeans. It was now too dark to see his face. “Really?”

“Really.” Janus tugged him closer. “Please?”

Remus melted into his arms, curling around him with those same strong, lanky limbs he’d touched and mouthed and tasted. “You’re warm,” he murmured, voice already sleepy.

Hand nestled in his curls, Janus whispered into his hair. “So are you.”

~

The first time with Gabe, they’d stayed out as long as they dared. Cocooned together in car blankets and an old sleeping bag, they’d held each other under the protective branches of an ancient oak deep in the forest behind the old school. Stars peeked out between the leaves and they’d spent hours afterward gazing up at the sky and sharing soft touches and kisses. They’d hiked back to Janus’ car long before either was ready, each all-too-aware of the consequences if they returned home much later than the end of the Homecoming dance.

Gabe had kissed him one last time before they got too close to the edge of the trails where the chances of being seen were greater. “Being with you is like coming home,” he’d whispered in his sweetly frayed voice.

~

Fully awake now, Janus’ head throbbed and a panicked voice screamed through his veins to slip away, to get up, to go… anywhere. But, just like that night with Gabe, he was in no way ready to let go. Careful not to wake him, he nuzzled against Remus hair, breathing in his scent of cloves and cinnamon, a faint sour whiff of whiskey. A tang of sweat. His phone buzzed but he ignored it. Whatever it was could wait.

The sunbeam spilling through the curtains traveled up the bed from their feet to their knees and his phone buzzed three more times before Remus groaned against him.

“Headache?” he murmured, reaching up to massage the back of his neck.

He groaned again. “A herd of elephants had a party in my head,” he mumbled, voice fuzzy. “They busted shit up.”

“You need fluids,” he nodded, pulling himself away. The panicky voice stilled, mollified. “And so do I.”

One eye peeking out from under the covers, Remus watched him stand, then stuck his head out all the way. “It looks like you need something else, too,” he purred, looking pointedly below Janus’ waist.

He chuckled and instantly regretted it, massaging his temples with one hand. After a moment, he pulled on his robe. “If I stayed in bed every time I was…” He closed his robe and Remus pouted adorably. “I’d never leave this room.”

“There are worse ways to go,” he laughed then winced and wiggled deeper under the covers.

Janus rubbed what he guessed was Remus' chest through the comforter, humming quietly. “I’ll return with some tea.”

~ 

“More dead leaf water?” Gabe laughed, nuzzling against his neck. 

Grinning, Janus pressed his hand against his heart. “Agh! The disrespect,” he laughed. “It’s good. Here, just smell…”

Gabe leaned over his shoulder and scrunched his nose. “I don’t know…” But he inhaled deeply and his eyes fell closed as a soft smile replaced his grimace.

“See?” Janus grinned, turning and placing the cup in his hands. “What’d I tell you?”

~

“Um, Janus?”

Lost in thought, Janus hadn’t heard Remus come in. “Yes, Remus,” he nodded, “The tea’s nearly done.” The kettle was steaming and he quickly filled two cups.

“No, um, not that… I mean, it smells great, but…” Remus held out Janus’ phone. “We have the same phone and… yours buzzed and I thought… and…” He glanced over at the door, twisting his fingers together. “I didn’t mean to peek, but… You’ve got a lot of notifications from Logan. He… he sounds worried.”

Janus blew on one of the cups, then handed it to Remus. Then he sat, almost falling into a chair as he stared down at his phone. Remus grabbed his tea and set it in front of him, then moved a chair to sit right next to him, rubbing against his shoulder.

“It looks like he really cares about you.” Remus sipped his tea, both hands wrapped around the mug and his heels tucked up on the chair seat with him. “You know, when he didn’t want to…” he shimmied his shoulders halfheartedly, “Come inside last night? I…" He looked down at his tea. "I figured he was probably going to go find you.”

“Me?” Janus set down his cup and stared. “Why would he go looking for me?”

Remus shrugged. “He likes you?”

“How did you—” He stared back at him. “Did he tell you that?”

Shaking his head, he smiled sadly and leaned his head against Janus’ shoulder. “Didn’t have to.”

~

Remus drank the rest of his tea and finished dressing. Janus watched him pull on his clothes, his thin cotton shirt just as much armor as his heavy combat boots. Fingers rapping against the sides of his mug, Janus nursed his tea, desperate for anything to think about than the moment when Remus would actually go.

What the fuck was wrong with him? This was meant to be his—second—favorite part of a bit of company. A return to his quiet, peaceful home, his privacy. Independence. Instead, dread pooled at his shins, rising with each passing second as he watched Remus get ready to leave.

He knew there was no delaying it further, but still he tried, lingering at the door for just one more kiss. Then one more. “I don’t ordinarily do this, but…” He brushed another kiss against the corner of his jaw, then just below his ear. “But I’d like to see you again. Can I call you?”

“That’s okay, Janus,” Remus hung his head and bounced on his toes, hands shoved into his pockets. “You don’t have to say that. I get it. That’s what everyone says but… they don’t.” 

“Wait—” He'd started to turn away but Janus grabbed his hand and followed him out to the hall. “What? No, Remus…” Still holding his hand, Janus cradled his cheek and slowly turned his head to face him. He met Remus' eyes, and his heart cracked at their glossy sheen. “Remus, I want to see you again.” Remus stared back at him, rubbing his cheek against his palm, hand covering his as though Janus might rip it away at any moment. “Would you… would you like to see me again?”

Eyes wide, Remus’ head bobbed, ever so slightly. “Yes,” he whispered when Janus remained silent, a tiny smile brightening his face. “Yes, I would.”

“That’s settled then,” Janus murmured and pulled him in to a kiss.

When they broke away, Remus frowned. “So… you really meant you would call me?”

Fear clawed at his throat, threatening to choke out his words, but Janus was more afraid of what it would mean to let Remus go, to never hold him in his arms again. To never wake up to the scent of cinnamon and cloves. “Yes,” he whispered. “Yes, I meant it.”

“Okay,” he nodded, smile growing. “Are you gonna call him, too?”

“I…” His phone buzzed loudly from the dining table and they both turned to look at it.

“You’d better.”

~

Janus picked up his phone and re-read the series of messages Logan had left him, then scrolled back through the history until he hit their first exchange.

Personal favor, 👔. 🏠 

He closed his eyes and Gabe's voice filled his mind. ‘Being with you is like coming home.’

Janus had felt anything but at home when he’d returned to his empty apartment after that strange morning with Logan. He’d missed the little sounds of him puttering in the kitchen, of waking up to the presence of someone else, that almost sixth sense of knowing someone was there. Of knowing he wasn’t alone. He'd felt more at home sitting with Logan in his unfamiliar apartment than he'd felt in his own since…

Fuck.

The longing wasn’t for just someone, for just anyone to be there. Either because the weather was atrocious or it was stupidly late at night, he’d had dates sleep over before. But instead of soothing him, their tiny sleeping sounds or pattering about the next morning as they got dressed had… irritated him and he’d been relieved when they’d left. Clearing away Remus’ empty tea cup, all he felt was alone.

He tarried, delaying until he’d finished the dishes before responding to Logan’s texts. Surely Logan was still in class and wouldn’t respond to a text message anyway. The additional message he received while drying the tea kettle demonstrated the fallacy of his argument.

Finally, Janus sat down and picked up his phone.

I'm safe, Necktie. I overslept. I'm sorry to worry you.

There was so much more to say. Logan replied as he was still composing his next message and his cheeks warmed.

I am deeply relieved. Is there anything you need?

No immediate admonition for missing classes, no guilting him for not responding sooner. Just… concern. Care. He closed his eyes and he was instantly back on Logan’s couch, hands shaking as he tried to drink his ginger tea. Logan was right there, those wonderfully strong hands wrapped around his, steadying the cup.

He could picture Logan holding his phone, watching the bubbles pop as Janus typed and retyped a message. Was he at the café again? Sipping his coffee with one hand, phone in the other? Or was he already home, stripping off his tie and—

‘Look elsewhere…’

Tears burned his eyes and Janus tapped out his next message, smashing down send before he could chicken out.

We need to talk. Are you available this evening?

[inklessletter]

It's a love story (baby just say yes) Chapter 2

Chapter 1 Chapter 3 Chapter 4

“How’s university treating you, Buckley?” Eddie asked a little louder than usual, to get himself be heard over the pop music blasting in that freshmen party. Eddie offered her a very much illegal beer, and she accepted it with a cheeky grin.

It was the last weekend before Christmas break, where almost everyone came back home for the festivities. Of course, the break only lasted two weeks, and it was way less than an appropriate amount of time to actually throw a rager, but, hey, most people there were eighteen or nineteen. It’s not like they actually needed a reason to bring booze, and weed, and obnoxious music. 

Robin gave Steve the call a couple weeks before, and it only took Steve to mention it to Eddie for him to be on board. A weekend trip to Chicago to see Buckley and party surrounded by faceless people who actually were not worried about Munson being a mass murderer and also see again his favorite lesbian after months? Abso-fucking-lutely yes.

Well, truth be told, it’s not like he wasn’t going to see Robin just a week after that, she was going to be in Hawkins for Christmas and New Year’s Eve, but, come on, he wanted to visit. Plus, that would mean a four hour car ride with Steve, and there was no way he was going to refuse.

So everything in this plan was calling Eddie in, and after all the shit he’d been through, a selfish part of him actually thought that he deserved to have a little fun.

Sue him.

“Actually pretty good,” Robin said. She took a sip of beer, making an unfortunate grimace at the taste. “Classes are interesting, but some professors are shit , and I’ve met some people that are, um, how do I put this? More open minded, generally speaking, than in Hawkins, so. Yeah, I’m having a blast here.”

Robin granted him with a coy smile. Eddie took a second to appreciate her, she was stunning that night. She was wearing a lot of silvery jewelry, and a smudge and sparkly eyeliner made her eyes look impossibly large. She had a pink lock of hair now. Big worn out Doc Martens and purple plaid flannel over a cut off gray shirt tucked in belted and high-waist ripped jeans.

God, she looked beautiful (and not because of her very much flattering outfit, because she was wearing an attitude where she actually didn’t feel awkward in her own skin anymore), but he still couldn’t understand how it took him more than three months to realize that she was friends with Dorothy too.

“Yeah?”

“Yup.”

Eddie bit his cheek and smiled, dimples showing. She was busy looking at her red solo cup. Too busy.

“Okay, Birdie, spill the tea.”

Robin looked at him, arching an eyebrow.

“I’m not—” Robin started, exasperated. “It’s not like—” 

Oh, wow. So, there was really something bothering her. She took a deep breath and then looked back at Eddie, soft expression.

“It’s nothing, really.”

“It doesn’t feel like nothing.”

Eddie thought for a second what he was going to say next.

“Look, I know I’m not your platonic soulmate, but if you want to talk about anything, you know I’m your humble servant, Ladybird,” Eddie said, with a compliant smile, hand in over his heart. “If you want your other half over here to spill your guts, I can go after him and drag his squeezy ass back here.”

Robin cackled at that.

“And if you don’t want to talk at all tonight, we can focus on how that hot punk girl over there has been checking you out for ever, now.”

Robin turned around and interchanged glances with her, who gave her a brief, suggestive smile. Robin bit her lip and looked at Eddie, hiding a smile.

“That’s Gwen, she’s in my philosophy class. She’s smoking hot , indeed,” Robin said.

Eddie looked at her with a wry face. He made a wordless gesture to go for it with her.

“We’ve already actually, um—”

Robin took a little bit too long sip of her nasty beer. Eddie smiled widely, and laughed.

“Oh, Buckley, look at you, you are such a menace now,” Eddie teased.

“Shut up, Munson. It was just one time.”

“So, you actually got to learn a thing or two from Steve, huh?” 

She slapped his arm, muting him to shut up again, but Eddie only laughed harder. She was going full red now.

“Oh, come on. It’s a good thing! Did you have fun?”

“Yeah, yeah, I did. It was fun, but, can we just not—?”

“Okay, fine.”

Eddie raised his hands in surrender. 

Robin looked around, and then Eddie realized.

“You’re waiting for someone, aren’t you?”

Robin sighed and looked at him. 

“And here I thought that you were expecting to spend the night with us, your friends,” Eddie said, in a dramatic tone.

“I am. It’s just— Do you wanna dance?” she blurted out, fast. Robin was acting weirder than usual tonight, Eddie could tell.

“To Madonna ?” Then Eddie realized that Gwen was approaching. The clawing hand on his forearm and the panicked look on Robin’s eyes was enough for him to accept. 

He took her by the hand and guided her to the mass of sweating, smelling bodies, and not a word was said, when he spun her around and they started dancing.

Okay, there were some blank spaces in this narrative that Eddie didn’t have. Robin looked so confident just a minute ago, and then this Gwen punk appeared and she seemed to want to crawl out of her own skin again.

“Birdie, I don’t mean to pry but you’re fucking weird tonight. Do you need help or something?”

“Can’t we just dance?”

“Babe, the weird thing about you wanting to dance is that you can’t bet to not trip over your own feet while just standing . What’s wrong? Is this girl, is she bothering you or something?”

“No!”

Eddie cursed Steve in his mind. Where was he? He was supposed to go down to grab some drinks but that was forever ago. Whatever that was upsetting Robin, this was Steve’s field. Not that Eddie didn’t know how to comfort her, or that he wasn’t to be trusted, but it was clearly that she would feel more comfortable with him around.

Eddie grabbed Robin’s hand.

“I’m going to get Steve.”

“No, no, no!” She looked really panicked. Robin pursed her lips, stopped dancing and cursed under her breath. “Fuck, okay, come with me.”

Eddie followed her lead. She took him out of the dorm, and crossed the crowded hall to the stairs that went to the roof. The building roof was empty, except for some smokers. 

It was a quiet place.

Eddie observed Robin. He let her find the words and the strength to actually tell him whatever she needed to share. 

He didn’t pressure her.

Eventually, she turned to him, and took a deep breath.

“There’s something I need to tell Steve, but I’m not sure if our friendship will survive this bomb.”

Eddie was perplexed.

“What? Robin, what are you talking about? Steve will never break your friendship, he loves you.”

“He won’t once he finds out.”

Eddie frowned his eyebrows. He saw her sitting on the floor, and he sat in front of her without saying anything.

“You were right before, I am expecting someone to show up. I’m—shit, I’m kind of seeing someone. Well, not kind of. I’m seeing someone.”

“But Birdie, that’s great. Wait, is it that Gwen? That’s why you didn’t want to be seen with her before? Didn’t want Steve to find out before you could tell him?”

“What? No. This kind of has to do a lot with her but, no, Gwen and I—It was at the beginning of the semester, we started talking and she was nice. It kind of reminded me a little bit of you—”

“Gross.”

“—and it had been like three weeks, and I was missing you guys a lot, and I wasn’t making any friends, and she was just like me , and she’s so hot, god damn, and I didn’t know how it happened but we had sex—” Robin stopped to take a shaky breath in and calm herself. “And don’t get me wrong, it was so hot. I wanted it, okay? And—And she was so nice after. But then I felt like shit, like the day after, and I didn’t know why because I wanted it so bad . But maybe I made a mistake because I wasn’t ready. I—” Robin gulped and looked away. “I hadn’t even kissed anyone before her. I didn’t even tell Vickie I had a crush on her. I had my first kiss and my first time in the same night, and I was so confused the day after. So confused, Eddie. I wanted it. I really, really did, but I felt like shit. Like I was the worst.”

Eddie listened carefully, trying not to interrupt her, but he got himself drowned by the sinking feeling of the understanding.

“I believe that I was going through a lot. Everything was new, I didn’t feel like I had to really hide myself that much, because my family wasn’t around, so. I don’t know, it took me a while to understand that maybe I got overwhelmed, and I felt lonely and maybe I went all the way with Gwen because I just didn’t know what to do with this—this ball of feelings. I felt like shit because—because I know I had my first time for the wrong reasons, and that’s nothing to do with Gwen, because she was splendid before, during and after, believe me, but—” Robin gulped around a lump that was forming on her throat, so Eddie finished the sentence for her.

“You didn’t have feelings for her.”

Robin looked at her hands, slightly nodding. She was playing with a piece of paper that was lying around, destroying it mindlessly.

Eddie felt terrible after hearing that. He felt even worse because he had teased her a little bit about Gwen before. Well, his goddamn mouth.

When Robin didn’t speak for the following minute, Eddie intervened.

“Birdie, I’m so, so sorry that you went through that. You must have felt so lonely and confused. Are you okay now?”

Robin looked at him, and sighed.

“Yeah, I mean. I’d been feeling like shit for weeks until I figured it out, but. Yeah, I don’t know, Eddie,” she flexed her knees, bracing her own legs. “I just don’t think I was ready for it, that’s all.”

Eddie waited a little bit for her to continue, but when he understood she wasn’t going to, he asked:

“Why didn’t you call? You know, we miss you too, a lot . Steve mentions you at least once a day.”

“I was embarrassed.”

“Why? Robin, we wouldn’t have judged you at all! We support you no matter what, I think we could’ve even taken a trip earlier to see you if we knew you were going through this!”

“I know! I know. I shouldn’t have felt that way.”

“I’m not saying that.”

“No, I am. But I felt that way, and I really didn’t want anyone to tell me that, because I already knew. Besides, Steve and I have been talking about my doomed love life for like, ages, and—I just, I don’t know. I got some action and it got me spiraling and I didn’t want to face this conversation with Steve.”

Eddie was going to refute that rambling, but Robin continued.

“ I know ! What you’re going to say, believe me, I know. I should have been able to talk about this with him, and I feel bad that I didn’t, that I—that I called Nancy instead.”

Eddie felt where that was going before she kept speaking. He raised a hand, covering his mouth. His eyebrows frowned, and his eyes were fixed on a very uneasy Robin in front of him.

“I didn’t know Nancy knew about you.”

“That’s because she didn’t. I didn’t tell her before, but—but I called her, and she wasn’t far, and she came by. And we—I don’t know, she’s so sweet and so fearless,” she laughed a bit, her cheeks stained in red. “How is that possible, huh? She can be so frightening, point a gun to your head, but then she’ll do whatever in her hand to make you laugh? To make you feel… less lonely. Not a—not a big error .”

Robin then, after what it felt ages, gazed directly at Eddie, and god, whoever said the eyes were the windows to the soul was so damn right.

“Shit, Robin—”

“She was going to come tonight, too. We were going to tell Steve together.”

Eddie covered his face with his hands.

This was bad.

This was real bad.

Eddie knew for sure that Steve would be happy for them if they were happy together, but he knew Steve. He would be hurt, too, for more than one reason.

Not that long ago, Steve still had inconclusive feelings towards Nancy. They had history together. 

Robin, his soulmate, had kept a secret from him, and they shared everything. God, if Eddie knew something about these two is that their friendship hadn’t met any boundaries yet. And this time, Robin didn’t want to talk explicitly to him.

Also, Robin had decided to trust Eddie before Steve, too.

And, well, she apparently had feelings for his first love, so. There was that.

“I’m assuming correctly that what you and Nancy were going to tell Steve tonight is not that you had your first time with Gwen, right?”

Robin nodded, shortly.

“We’ve been—uh, we’ve been seeing each other for a few weeks now.”

“I see,” Eddie said under his breath. But then he frowned and looked at her, “I’m sorry, this is not any of my business, but isn’t it too fast? I mean, the whole Gwen thing, and then you regretted it because you didn’t know what you were feeling, and all that jazz. Are you sure you’re going to be okay? I mean, you two guys are friends, and I know that you know it’s overwhelming this first semester. Robs, are you sure about this? I really, really don’t want you to get hurt. Any of you.”

That included Steve, too.

“Eddie—I had feelings for her before. It’s not—it’s not a rushed thing. I think I’ve been feeling for her this way since—you know.”

“Yeah. Fuck. Yeah, I know.”

Eddie was happy for her. For them both. He really was, truly. But a part of his heart was with Steve, anticipating what was going to be a sad journey for him. He won’t hint how he was truly feeling to Robin or Nancy, but he knew that he would speak his soul to Eddie. And Robin knew Steve as well as Eddie did, now. 

And she knew that, too.

“Please, don’t tell any of this to Steve. Not before I do.”

Eddie closed his eyes. 

Fuck, he’s shit keeping secrets. 

“It’s not my place to say anything,” Eddie said, pained for having to keep yet another secret to Steve. 

Robin sighed, relieved.

“Thank you, Eddie.”

“But please, if you plan to do it, do it soon. We all know that he deserves to know.”

Robin nodded. Then he offered her the hand, and she took it. He pulled her in for a hug, and whispered to her ear that he was thankful she trusted him, and that he was glad if she was happy now. 

Robin hugged him tighter.

“What about if we go back and look for Harrington? He’s either lost or looking for us.”

Robin nodded, and smiled.

“Yeah. I don’t know where he went.”

Robin and Eddie entered the stairs, passing by a few couples making out in the dark, when they both froze with the sight in front of them.

There, in the privacy of the indoor stairs there was another couple loudly kissing. Hard.

And one of them was Steve, trapped between the wall and the mouth of a six foot two tall, jacked, blond guy.

Two things happened at once.

1. Robin grabbed his arm and pulled Eddie back to the roof, shutting the door, making the sight of Steve devouring another man disappear behind it.

2. Eddie’s heart broke in a million pieces.

Robin dragged him fast to a quiet area, and put both hands on Eddie’s face, forcing him to look at her.

“Eddie, okay, shit. Okay. Eh—”

Robin was about to have a nervous breakdown.

“Listen, Eddie. I know that you’re a friend and to be trusted, but, what we just saw, it never happened, okay?”

“Robin—”

“No, no, I need you to listen. This? This is a dream,” Robin started waving her hands, looking at him straight in the eye. “This is a dream, whatever is happening in those stairs you just dreamed it , capisce ?”

“Jesus, Rob—”

“I’m fucking serious, Eddie,” she said, high pitched, making a few people to look in her direction. Her hands were trembling. She held Eddie’s face in place again. “Holy fucking shit—” she said under her breath, “holy fucking shit!”

Eddie felt like he was on autopilot. He held her arms, keeping her in place.

“It’s okay,” Eddie said, almost without a voice.

“Why are you not freaking out?”

“Because he told me, Robin. That he’s bi. I know he told you, too.”

Robin looked at him and her expression changed.

“I won’t rat him out, okay? It’s fine. It is fine.”

“Eddie—”

“We can stay here to give him—uhm—privacy, yeah? I bet he can’t do this in Haw—Hawkins. He’s entitled to have fun. It’s fine .”

He didn’t remember Robin’s hand were in his face until she started wiping his cheeks with her thumbs.

“Eddie, babe. You’re crying—”

“It’s fine.”

Now he could feel his heart clenching, and all the air being sucked out of the world. He could feel his face growing hotter, and wetter, and his own shoulders shaking almost violently.

Robin lifted her arms and hugged him close. It took him a second or two, but he hugged her back.

“He can’t know. Please, don’t tell him. Please .”

“Okay. Okay.”

She entangled her hands in his hair, and he hugged her tighter. He was shaking.

“ Please ,” Eddie said again.

He blinked a few times, trying to control his own breathing, his shaking, his body. 

Eddie let out a sigh and loosened the embrace, until they were not touching anymore. He was under Robin’s gaze, and it took him a bit to calm himself.

When he had enough self control, he spoke again.

“Do you recall the whole capisce speech you gave me? Same here. You never saw any of this. If you think you did, you dreamed it. None of this ever happened, okay?” Eddie said as calmly as he could, but his voice was in a strange forced pitch, and still a little bit shaky.

Robin nodded.

“Yeah. Yeah, okay.”

With a deep breath, Eddie leaned in the wall, facing the skyline of Chicago in the middle of the night. After a few minutes, Robin asked her since when he was feeling that way for Steve, and Eddie shrugged. He couldn’t pinpoint it, really. She joked about now understanding about his squeezy ass. 

He laughed a bit, but then he spoke, after a silence and a deep breath, because he was shit keeping his own secrets.

Eddie told her that he’d been feeling like this for Steve for quite a while now. That he didn’t expect them to become friends, that he thought Steve would stop spending time without him after the apocalypse. And then after he recovered. And then, after she and Nancy left for college and school started again.

That everytime he expected Steve to leave, he was surprised because he didn’t. That he noticed every little bit of Steve and he loved every quirk of him, that they became closer, and they trusted each other with their own deep secrets and family history.

That he made him laugh until he couldn’t breathe.

That Steve had become the best part of his day.

That he knew that Steve was still struggling with his own internalized homophobia since he sort of hinted that he felt that he had to fight against it.

That Eddie wanted to come clean, pour his heart into his, give him his everything, and that it would be a problem.

That Eddie knew that he had no future in Hawkins, that he had to leave sooner or later, and he wasn’t sure Steve would do such a thing.

Eddie didn’t want to risk what he had with Steve, even if at the end of the day was not enough . 

Eddie kept talking about how much in love he was, how heartbroken, until his voice even out, and two figures came into sight.

“Holy shit, where the hell were you? I’ve been looking for you for ages !” Steve said.

Eddie and Robin turned their heads to him. Then they shared a brief look. 

“Look who I found at the party!”

Nancy smiled at them and waved. She had a red cup in her hand, and, if Eddie didn’t know what he did know, he wouldn’t have noticed the look in Nancy’s eyes when she looked at Robin.

“Hi Nance! I thought you weren’t coming.”

“Well, my car broke down, and I tried to call, but no one would pick up.”

Robin and Eddie nodded. 

Nancy went next to Robin, and they both looked at the skyline, having a quiet conversation. Steve walked and leaned next to Eddie, also looking at the horizon. 

It was obvious that both Nancy and Steve had been drinking.

“I went for drinks and when I came back you and Robin were nowhere to be found. You were here all the time?”

Eddie looked at him. Steve was shamelessly looking back, dead in the eye.

“Yeah, we were here. Sorry we bailed, we didn’t know where you went, either.”

“It’s okay. It’s nice out here.”

Steve offered him his own drink, and Eddie took it with a smile. He took a sip.

The sight of Steve’s lips, pink and kiss swollen didn’t definitely feel like a dagger to his heart.

The soft sigh leaving Steve’s body, while he rested his head on Eddie’s shoulder, looking at the infinity, didn’t definitely feel like dying .

“Did you have fun tonight?”

No.

“Yeah. Did you?”

Please, say no. Lie to me.

“It was meh. I missed you.”

“You did?”

Eddie’s voice was small and fragile, but Steve was drunk enough not to notice. He shouldn’t be looking for reassurance, but some needy part inside of him, needed to hear it, even if it was while he was under the influence of alcohol, and not everything that came out of his mouth was reliable.

“Yeah. You know I do. You make everything better.”

Eddie closed his eyes, swallowing around the lump in his throat.

“And what did you do up here?”

We shared some secrets that we’re keeping from you .

“Nothing, just—Nothing.”

“Hm,” Steve hummed. 

Eddie knew the signs. First, the leaning, then, the humming. He didn’t have to look to know that Steve’s eyes were closed.

Eddie lifted a hand to Steve’s hair, lacing his fingers in it. Steve let out a happy breath.

“Is this okay?”

“Yeah, yeah, it’s perfect.”

The four of them eventually sat against the wall, and it took no more than ten minutes until Steve’s breathing even out, and he was fast asleep. How he could sleep anywhere was something that none of them fully understood.

Robin was looking at Eddie, he knew. But Eddie didn’t have it in his heart to look back at her.

He just kept stroking Steve’s hair for a while longer.

For as long as Steve let him do that.

For as long as the secrets don’t destroy him.

[youhavetosmile]

Karedevil prompt: AU where matt is karen's bodyguard

Thank you so much for the ask!

I'm not usually one for AUs, so hopefully this is AU enough. FYI it gets a little smutty.

Find it on AO3

Matt liked to think he was shrouded in mystery, what with his black suit and dark glasses and neutral expression.  But to Karen, he was an open book.  She knew exactly what he’d been thinking about all night.  He told her without words; every time he laid a hand on her back to lead her down the red carpet, every time he licked his lips as she spoke to a reporter, every time he “accidentally” brushed his hand against hers.  She could practically feel the jealousy radiating off of him as she was told over and over how good she looked.  Honestly, she was surprised no one had figured them out yet.

After several hours of very professional interactions, Karen slid into the back of a limo and calmly rolled up the divider, Matt following close behind.  “Uh-uh,” she smirked, stopping his incoming kiss with her fingers, “you’ll mess up my makeup.”

Matt moved her hand away.  “I don’t really care.”

“You may not, but everyone else will, and then they’ll all know about us.”

“Welll, then, I guess,” he scooted closer to her and ran his hand up her thigh, “we’ll just have to be really careful.”

His left arm pulled her to him by her shoulders as the right continued its trip up her body to cup her breast.  “Matt—” she sighed, more erotically than she intended as her body responded to his touch. 

He knew it, too; she could feel him smiling as he kissed her neck.  “Yes, Ms. Page?” he asked innocently.  He was such a little shit.

She gasped when she felt his teeth rake over her collarbone.  “If you leave a mark, I’m gonna kill you.”

“Relax,” he replied, gently moving the hem of her dress down, “you know I’ll only leave them where no one else can see.”

Karen had to bite her lip to stifle a moan as his lips closed over her nipple.  She didn’t know what to do.  One of her hands pushed at his shoulder while the other held his head against her skin.  Her love and desire for him fought against all the reasons this wasn’t a good idea.  The drive between the awards ceremony and the after party wasn’t long, and she had to be flushed at the very least, but he felt so good that she had a hard time caring.

As the car turned down the last block, reason made a push for the win.  “Matt,” she murmured, lifting his head to rest it against her own, “we can’t.”

“What if we could?”  His tone told her he was no longer teasing.  “What if we didn’t have to hide anymore?”

“You want to go public?”

“Yes.  Why not?  I think it’s about time, don’t you?”

“I—I don’t know.  I love you, Matt, you know I do.  But if we tell people about us, then everyone will have an opinion and they’ll blast us both and never leave us alone—”

“Hey,” Matt interrupted, holding her face in his hands.  “I love you.  No matter what anyone else says, that won’t change.  I promise I won’t let anything happen to you.  I’ll keep you safe, Karen.  It is, quite literally, my job.”  Karen chuckled.  “Just—think about it,” he continued, pressing a kiss to her hair.  “We can talk about it later tonight.”

The car pulled to the curb.  Matt opened the door and got out, and Karen thought that was the end of it.  But as he stood there, hand outstretched, she changed her mind.  Maybe it was the way he was smiling at her, with an infinite love just dying to burst out.  Maybe she was still recovering from his ministrations to her in the car.  Or maybe it was just time.  Regardless, in that moment, Karen stopped caring what other people think.

She took his hand and he helped her out of the car and ahead of him.  But instead of going inside, Karen stopped and turned back to face Matt.  “You okay?” he asked.

“Yeah.  Yeah, I’m okay,” she replied.  Then she wrapped her arms around his neck and just kissed him.

Immediately, a collective scream erupted, and she was sure she couldn’t have seen a thing behind all the camera flashes, but Karen didn’t care.  The next day, pictures of them would be splashed across the front page of every newspaper and magazine in the country, but Karen didn’t care.  They’d hardly be able to leave the house without being swarmed by photographers, but Karen didn’t care.

She had Matt; nothing else mattered.