#he would stilll have it if he was any other role

[canisbeanz]

Question: My Jayfeather design has a Eurasian Jay feather stabbed through his ear like an earring, is that okay or should I remove it/ put it somewhere else? It doesn't stick out of his silhouette because it falls over onto his face, it's meant to look a bit like a long hairstyle without actually using his fur because I think human hairstyles on cats look really creepy. (I haven't drawn him in a while so he's not on this blog but I can do a doodle of him if an example would be helpful)

I should have known if I brought up wc I’d have to talk about. But it includes of a lot of issues with feral/furry designs that use feathers in hair. I don’t necessarily know why the conversation only started and stayed in the wc fandom when horse/wolf/lion feral fandoms are still doing the same thing.

Now having feathers in the design isn’t a racial attack first thing off because there’s a lot of context around what feather’s are used, the shape, and where they are placed. If the look is anything like "rave Coachella looking tribal fantasy feathers and beads" it’s probably insensitive. I’m not to sure why it has to be feathers, I honestly think the wc fandom are holding themselves back when it comes to forwarding designs in a unique way. Tail feathers are also left out in this conversation as well, one or two feathers or feathers in the shape of a birds tail are fine but bunched together feathers are leaning to close to how we have our horses wear feathers. This is in the context of the design already looking like a "medicine cat" already its bad. it’s like those yt girls wear feather head bands but animal addition.

I’ve talked about this before but silhouettes are so important, like Native American stereotypes are on the global scale you cannot escape this silhouette you just have to avoid it. There’s no "but it’s in so many other cultures" no it’s not it’s totally unique to our people that’s why people flock to it because it’s so "mysterious, sacred" whatever their weird twisted up reason is. There’s so many unique ways to break this silhouette you just gotta be more creative. And I feel like instead of being more creative and coming up with totally different ideas it’s just easier to lean on these visual native stereotypes to get across "wild mythical nature fantasy"

I could get into the horse fandom and the weird situations they’re doing over there but that’s another crazy thing. I should say because someone will ask, ostrich feathers on like show horses or knights or puss in boots style is fine not the same thing (breaking the silhouette) they’re not related.

And it comes down to understanding what you are drawing and where this imagery comes from, I’m not gonna get my feelings hurt because of your design but I’ll question why are you drawing stuff like that. You cant remove that cultural/stereotypical imagery, and if you don’t care about it then you don’t care about the history or how it looks on your character and art.

I made it this far on the internet but if you want to be conscious about these things good on yea it doesn’t take much☺️👍

[popculturebuffet]

Ducktales Della Arc Reviews: The Spear of Selene or THE INCREDIBLE STORKULES, GOD OF HOMEROTIC SUBTEXT OUT OF MYTH!

Hello all you happy people and welcome back to my coverage of the Della arc! It’s our last 2017 episode before the Finale, and it’s a huge one as we delve into a fan faviorite that introduces a pair of fan faviorites, a drum of tzatkiki sauce worth of gay,  an asshole so odious getting sent to the bowls of hades and laughed at for all enternity after being cast out by eveyrone he knows really was getting off light, and at last some plot progression on this arc. At the time it aired mind you at this point Dellas been a beloved cast member for three years, and we’ve known what happened to her for longer than that. 

At the time though.. it’d been 8 MONTHS since the Great Dime Chase. Let that sink in. The Della reveal was the biggest hook of an already exceptional pilot: It not only promised to flesh out a character who’d had all of one story in the comics at this point in present day, but solve the mystery of why she was gone. Not only that but Scrooge and Donald’s feud clearly stemmed from this exact moment. And the first full episode in the arc confirmed it: Della had taken whatever “The Spear of Selene” was and apologized to Scrooge for it. So why had she taken it, why did Donald blame scrooge, why did Scrooge not blame himself, at least outwardly, where was she, what was the spear of selene...

As I pointed out last time airing order didn’t help and due to airing the arc episodes really close together, gave the impression the arc would not only move fast but take up more of the season than it did. In practice both arcs take up a fourth of the season not including the finale, which would take both up to about a third. The expectation on how much of the season would be taken up by the arc.. was on Disney for airing things badly. I will give credit where it’s do as they moved this episode up in the order to try and make up for it (and give themselves a huge mid season opener).. but then for some reason shoved the last episode before last crash, ie. the only one they coudln’t move, way back to right before that episode. “ Here’s an actual photo of the person who made this decision

As I said they did get better next season with only a few swaps and only for good reason. So props. 

HOWEVER.... this episode still has some  flaws with pacing and revealing info, with or without Disney drunk driving the schedule. The wait between episodes in this plot is an episode LONGER in production order... and dosen’t move the plot forward by much. I will get to that when the time comes.. and that DESPITE this treatment of the fans.. this episode is still one of the seasons best. How are both things true? Join me under the cut to find out. 

Thunderstormy to be precise and the Sunchaser is natrually encountering loads of turbulence with Launchpad barely holding int here while Donald’s buffeted around the back. Why Donald’s with them... 

But it’’s one of his only five starring episodes in the season, out of 9 appearances total the rest of which are cameos.  Yeah now seems as good as time as any to talk about Season 1′s Donald Duck problem. 

See Donald was promoted as a major part of the series, rightly so since he was reduced to a guest star for the 87 series due to a combination of Disney not wanting to overexpose the characters, people possibly not being able to understand his voice and thus making plots hard to understand, and Tony Anselmo being new to the roll at the time. So the reboot went all out promoting the fact Donald would be in it, front and center and gave him TWO character shorts to the rest of the casts one. Disney really went out of their way to show he’d be in there so as a certified Donald Fanatic, I was sure he’d actually be in the show a lot and on the adventures a lot. The crew were not blameless as both promotional arts featured him. Launchpad and Beakly conversely were asbent, so the impression given by all of this was that Donald would be central to the series and in a lot of episodes, given equal focus to scrooge and the kids. 

This.. didn’t happen as you all know. Instead as stated he’s up front and center for 5 episodes, and makes cameos in others, but generally is hardly around. Now there is KINDA an excuse to this as he doesn’t want to adventure, be in the mansion or any of that.. but it’s a REALLY weak one. He still at least could’ve made more cameos, the fact he was working on the boat all that time isn’t made clear till last crash, and his two spotlight episodes both have him dragged along on the adventure anyway, so it’s not like his not wanting to be there meant he woudln’t be forced to join in anyway. There were ways to include him, still have him in a supporting role instead of leaving him back at the mansion.. and even the second episode proved there was still comedy to be mliked from that.. and pathos don’t forget the pathos. So yeah this was easily the biggest mistake of the season and one season 2 largely corrected: He got four dedicated plots, and was around a decent amount in the first half of the season and while he DID get shot up to the moon... it was for valid reasons. They wanted to focus on Della and the kids, give her room to breathe as a brand new major addition to the show, and thus him being around and the elephant in the room of his and scrooge’s feud that was never dealt with on screen, would’ve distracted from that. And even with that they still gave him a focus episode that somehow added more depth and MASSIVELY advanced the main plot, and a sizeable roll in the finale. Season 3 likewise had things better: while he shows up as much as in season 1, the episode count is lower by one, and he’s a major part of the plot in every one BUT Last Christmas, with four of those having the spotlight on him in some way. They eventually did figure out how to use him far more ballanced. So yeah credit where it’s do it got MUCH better, but he still felt like a recurring character in his own series, that was still bad, and I still needed to give out about it. 

But Webby and Dewey have a mission even if Dewey dosen’t quite get what’s going on so they flip a switch to turn on a warning light of some kind forcing Launchpad to make an emergency landing on a gorgeous tropical island. To Huey’s amazement, as the place was apparenlty only a myth, though naturally the guidebook did have it’s aproximate location listed... Ithaquack, home of the gods. Naturally Scrooge and Donald want to leave as soon as possible for reasons we’ll get into but Launchpad , for once is being a responsible pilot “Better safe than.. something right? Scrooge is of course irate that Launchpad picked NOW of all times to be safe, and the Kids.. don’t listen because Huey sees a beautiful realm of myth, Louie sees a beach vacation and Dewey and Webby.. have work to do. Webby eventually fills Dewey in on why their here, having wrongly assumed he got why they were going to a mythical greek island. As Dewey delightfully puts it later “Don’t assume I know anything. “ So she pieces it together for him: Selene was the greek goddess of the moon... Della took the SPEAR of Selene. Ergo this island is the best place to find the Spear and failing that, Selene herself to get more info on it and Della. 

So we have our two plots. Scrooge and Donald dealing with their pasts and the gods, and Dewey and Webby diving into his mom’s past. And unlike the last review where a genuinely unsettling story about an abuse victim forced to manipulate her girlfriend not going into a murder vault was paired with Louie having to deal with a Sasquatch while Huey catches a case of Dewey’s stupidity somehow, these two plots are perfectly paired: Their both perfectly thematically connected, both dealing with the past, Della’s absence and Scrooge and the Twins past encounters with the gods.. but both being self contained outside of that, entirely unconnected but stilll necessary to be in the same episode. THIS is how you do two plots. But since they don’t really synch up again till the end, let’s cover each one at a time shall we?

“What if My Mom was a Bad Person?” 

The plot is pretty straight forward but expertly done: Dewey and Webby first check your standard Zelda dungeon which apparently has a cursed weapon at the end. We also get an utterly adorable and sweet shot of Webby comforting Dewey after he’s clearly shook from it. Awwww. Turns out it’s the SWORD of Selene. and quickly turns into a game of put the Cursed Sword back before we all die. 

Next up is a monster who nearly kills both protecting it’s spear.. the spear of POSIDEN. (Look at meeeeee). And since they aren’t going to be on a boat that isn’t a house boat anytime soon, they don’t need that and the monster cheerfully redirects them, with Dewey apologizing for calling it ugly. 

So all pretty standard stuff for the show and really good stuff.. but it’s the building tension underneath that truly makes the episode and leads to one hell of a climax for this plot. All the while Dewey is DESPERATE for some explination for his mom’s disapperance that isn’t her betraying Scrooge, maybe returning the spear because it was cursed or getting eaten by a monster. Just ANYTHING but the mounting and horrifying suspicion.. that his mom was a bad person who destroyed her family and betrayed her uncle and laughed all the while. Webby.. does not help, backing that side of things and constantly voicing hte idea Della betrayed Scrooge, so obsessed with solving the mystery of her life.. but so unfamilliar with people she dosen’t see the very real toll this is taking on her best friend. To her she’s just making a logical counterpoint.. to him it’s just another idea in his head about the way his mom could’ve betrayed everyone she cared about. 

So that climax is where it explodes. Our heroes find a scale model of ithaquack (Complete with Tiny Maniticore! It’s so cute Webby just wants to slay it)  and an opening.. with an ominous message about incurring the wrath of the god seemingly conforming the worst. So Webby prepares to find out the whole story.. only for Dewey to stop her. No one’s finding this out, whatever it is, no matter how far they’ve come. And given this is the biggest mystery of her life and she simply dosen’t understand WHY Dewey dosen’t want to know.. both sides are ready to fight for this. And Webby DOES try to back him down, pointing out he really can’t beat her in a fight. But Dewey’s already grown leaps and bounds form the pilot and is working smarter not harder. Beat Webby, who spent a good chunk of her life being honed into the most badass child on the parent, one who can take on several of scrooge’s worst foes one on one? Not on his life. But hold her off long enough for the gate to close? He can do that. 

So the result? One of the best fights of the series... and given the sheer amount of great ones we’ve gottten since this one it still says something it holds up THIS well. It’s an even, furiously paced fight, with Dewey using every advantage he has including tossing said manticore to keep up, but not slowing down one bit. It’s heartbreaking to see the two come to this but it’s an delight to watch. Webby DOES win eventually, though time’s running out to get in and she finally asks WHY. And  while the stakes have been crystal clear for both this whole time.. we get them laid out in the most painful way for both. 

Webby: We're so close to the truth! Why won't you let us find it?! Dewey: Because...*his voice cracks* what if my mom was a bad person?

It hits VERY hard. For Webby this has been a puzzle something to solve the greatest achivment of her life, her chance to make her mark... and her best friend just wanted to abandon it. But in one swift response, he disarms all of that.. and makes her see how insnstivie she’s been: He may not know his mom.. but he can’t bear the thought she was a bad person. That she left or WORSE, because she didn’t care about him, or scrooge or ANYONE. Knowing nothing is better than knowing she was a monster. 

Webby realizes what she’s been doing to her friend and is horrified and offers to back out. The answers.. aren’t worth destroying her brother. But her willingness to back down.. finally gets Dewey to see the light. His fear was valid.. but at the end of the day,  it’d never go away. it’d just keep eating him for the rest of his life, every time she was mentioned or he found something else out he’d just wonder if it was a lie and wonder wht he COULD’VE learned this day. And if Webby’s willing to sacrifice THIS MUCH to give him peace of mind... then he can sacrifice that peace of mind for the truth, for her, and for himself. So he pulls them inside. 

Inside they find Selene who suprises them.. and is then confused. Their not della. Also I guarantee mentally she’s thiking “Thank me I didn’t do it naked this time. “. After some confusion as to who this is, Webby explains that IS Selene, and Dewey begs for answers about the spear... only to find out she dosen’t have one. Nope. The sword seen before and a SPHERE, yes.. but no Spear. So the poor boy breaks down, back to square one. It’s hard not to see why... all this effort, all of this sacrifice.. and he’s no closer than when they first set down. 

Selene does help though... giving him an idea of who his mom WAS: one of her closest friends (And let’s face it  Della named the ship after Selene and Selene casually uses Della’s shower. If they didn’t go out at least once, I am an outer god. And I very much am not and they very much banged hard. Goodnight. ) , a good person who brought fun to everyone, and loved her family more than anything. Wether she betrayed Scrooge or not, she wasn’t a bad person. And her own orb shows it showing Della in her prime, brightly smiling next ot her family. Selene encourages the boy not to give up, that his mom always loved a mystery.. and he can solve this one and gently hugs the sobbing child.. with Dewey quickly pulling webby in. It’s genuinely touching and a satisfying ISH ending. 

The ish... is because while this is a VERY good plot, i’ll gush more about it at the end, it does have one supreme flaw: the mystery dosen’t progress. And with the huge gaps between this episode and hte next one, in BOTH airing orders... it’s unforgivable to not have EITHER plot give us any hints about what happened. I don’t ask for much, but they could’ve found a clue in the sphere Dewey got, or saw a memory of her that brought up the next place they look, just something a little. While it’s still a very fine story, the main plot suffers a bit by having one of the ONLY three episodes delving into the della mystery before it’s fully revealed in sunchaaser have almost no progress. Della was probably a good person, which comes from her ex who clearly still loves her so that’s not really reliable, and the spear isn’t literal. While the lack of progress works for the story in the episode itself.. it comes at the cost of any actual plot progression. We end up exactly where we started and have to wait SOME TIME before we get to the next spot on the tour. Well we did, you guys will find out Monday or Tuesday depending on if the finale goes up in the morning or Disney holds it till the actual airing. Please don’t you bastards. Point is it’s  VERY good plot, but it’s hampred by not really progressing the arc. 

The arc progression for this storyline is painfully slow, and tha’ts not on disney. In either order there’s a MASSIVE gap of 15+ episodes between what we learned in the great dime chase and what we learn in castle mcduck. It’s sloppy writing and I expect better from this team, especially since the Lena plot the same season is far tighter paced: each one builds a bit, both on Lena as a character (Why she’s doing this etc), her development as a person, her relationship with webby growing and Magica and her growing more and more spiteful with one another. They could’ve had at least ONE MORE subplot to build this up, especially since we really dind’t need the sasquatch episode but just.. didn’t for whatever reason and it’s still frustrating.  But as always credit where it’s due.. the next two seasons were better about it. 

Season 2 while not perfect, and we’ll get to it’s plots someday.. and I do say plots as not alternating between the two plots for season 1 was a mistake if a well meaning one as not to drive up the price for Kev but for future refrence if any of you want me to cover an arc for something I WILL have to cover all of it or any adjacent to it that flow into it. Point is they move faster and both Glomgold and Louie’s are pretty lowkey and low stakes so while enjoyable, their not moving incredibly fast dosen’t hurt the show. And the Moon plot has the best pacing of the three and possibly of the series plots period: We get filled in on Della fairly quick, getting answers on her WAY faster, get introduced to the moon and it’s people right away, get a whole episode on them, and the most importantly in sharp contrast? She returns HOME halfway into the season. 

I will probably go into this again when I get to nothing will stop della duck but Season 1′s pacing and general wisdowm made me think she wouldn’t get home anytime soon and she’d return in the finale. Instead? We get a whole half a season fleshing her out further, seeing her connect with her kids, all that good stuff, WITH an episode advancing the moon arc, without that arc feeling unimportant, but still having the slow pacing. 

Season 3 meanwhile while again not without bugs, the last few episodes before the finale having no real build up to it really wasnt a good idea and I question why these two episodes were the ones leading into it, has two seemingly barely related plots.. that EFFORTLESLY merge into one, with one hell of a huge twist in impossibin that ratchets up the stakes. I don’t know how it’ll payoff.. but we’ll see. 

So they did get better, i’m still hard on it because it happened.. but I will never stop stressing how this crew usually corrected a mistake. If they fucked up, they LEARNED FROM IT, course corrected, and made it better and they listened to US. IN the good way, not letting fans run the series but listening to valid concerns and adapting to them. And given how fucking rare that is and how hard it must’ve been with the tight schedule, I.. I really appricate it and i’m going to miss it. And I can’t think of a segue so enjoy this picture of a turtle hitting a trapper in the face with a bat instead. 

“Someone Always Gets Hurt”

So let’s take it back a few hours. Hit it boys!

Donald tries getting the boys back on the ship, clearly fearing something coming for him.. and we soon meet that something. Yes it’s the hero of legend, the stork out of myth, the star of a LOT of Donald Duck Slash FanFiction only half of which he wrote, STORKULES!

In case I didn’t make it clear when I reviewed New Gods on the Block! I love this guy. He reminds me a LOT of the marvel version: Boisterious , horny (if in a far more pg version), Gay (Pansexual for the marvel version), flawed but still immensley likeable. Stork is a bit diffrent, a bit more naive, a bit peppier and entirely blind to the fact his father is a terrible person. But my love of the marvel herc means Stork was an easy sell for me and Chris Dimatopolis’ performance is second to none, only topped in this series by his later work as Darkwing where he got a bit more range than “Joyous ham who wants to bang”. Also I’m 100% convenced he’s made this memetic expression to donald at some point... 

If someone hasn’t redrawn that with Storkules yet, we have failed as an internet. And if someone has please show me. 

His crush on Donald is also endearing even if I don’t ship the two. And if your curious as to why it’s simple: Storkules is attracted to a version of Donald that no longer exists. Storkules craves a Donald whose a brave daring hero who loves adventure. And while still a brave hero when the situation calls for it as this episode will bare out.. he just.. dosen’t have the passion for adventure he did as a kid. While a LOT of that is loosing his sister for a decade, even once he makes peace with that and later gets her back... he just wants a normal life. His greatest wish was for one. He apparenlty “wishes for this every day”. He dosen’t hate adventuering anymore and by season 3 has come to terms with the fact he’ll never get everyone else to stop.. but I also think it’s always been obvious he clearly wants to one day. To have a normal life, settle down, find a girl, and if she wants to get married. Get old , fat and happy. I honestly think that’s the direction the finale’s heading in judging from the previews. I don’t think he’ll ever stop entirely, his family life’s too insane for that.. but he just dosen’t want to keep going forever and Stork, being an immortal hero does. They want diffrent things entirely and that just won’t work. Though that’s also JUST me and if you ship them or have a way around that, feel free. This is just my opinon. 

Anyways Donald’s not happy, the kids are confused  and Scrooge. has problesm bigger than simply not knowing how to say i’m not into you.... aka Zeus, king of the gods and of all assholes. He was originally supposed to be a swan due to a certian myth.. but they realized since that myth is both really fucked up and really not for children to not do that because why the fuck would you. Point is Zeus in myth is an asshole, a rapist, a cheating husband, and a vengeful, petty dick and that’s with barely any knowledge of Greek Myth on my part. He’s played by Micheal Chiklis whose famous for The Comissh and the Shield.. but whose famous to me for playing the ever loving Blue Eyed thing in the Tim Story Fantastic Four movies.. and honeslty, at least till marvel takes a crack at it soon, is the best screen version of the character. Look the film is flawed and I don’t remember a lot of it.. but his stuff in it just NAILS the character perfectly, at least the first one, and while the look is.. eh, he was the perfect casting. He just wasn’t in the right movie. So he’s naturally awesome here as history’s greatest douchebag. 

As for why Zeus is pissed at him unlike say Donald (The whole Spear of Selene fiasco) or Magica (Who while even worse than Zeus still lost her brother because of his callousness), or others he’s wronged.. Scrooge did absolutely nothing wrong here. During a beach party Storkules intiates, he reveals he used to be king of the beach and loved and worshipped by the people of ithaquack, which last time the adult ducks visited was a lovely hideaway for heroes. Scrooge naturally did a bunch of heroic and cool stuff, and upstaged him, and then bested him in various games and what not. Zeus claims they ran off because of this and because they didn’t want to party with a god bested by a mortal.. but scrooge reveals pottery showing it’s because Zeus threw a temper tantrum aka “a year long lightning storm”. So yeah for once all Scrooge did was just upstage someone who was already objectively horrible and who brought all of htis on himself. Scrooge even points it out perfectly “They didn’t leave because they liked me, they left because they didn’t like YOU. “ 

Pissing off the god who already didn’t like you for stupid reason goes about how you’d expect and when Storkules tries to cool things down by suggesting a game, Zeus turns it into a contest. His son against Scrooge’s nephews. Because he uh dosen’t want to lower himself. Yeah that’s it, totally not that Scrooge would kick his ass and then fucking kick his ass. Yeah that’s the ticket. 

So our boys don Toga’s, and gear up for the first challenge: grabbing the bag of winds. In case you thought Spongebob just made that up. Zeus of course opens it so Donald can’t just leave, but Huey simply thinks his way out and wins , Zeus demands best 2/3 and we soon get a montage of various events from chariot racing to sculpture where we get our title picture, lest you thought I was kidding abotu Storkules obession with donald. I mean there’s subtextually having a character have a crush on another and then ther’es making a naked muscular statue of him. I.. I don’t even have a joke here. He made a naked muscular statue of Donald. The only way they could be less obvious without just coming outright and saying it was if hte statue was of hima nd storkules making out. And i’m 100% sure Frank, Matt and Dana, yes Dana Terrace was involved in this one i’m as unsurpised as you are, only didn’t do that because Disney said no. 

Zeus declares one final round because he’s tired of this..e ven though he CLEARLY won the last one while Donald once again tries to just leave and Storkules finally calls him on it wondering why he’s given up adventuring and wondering what della would say if she could see him like this, having just given up and not caring anymore about any of ths stuff.  “Well she can’t! Someone always gets hurt....”

And that one very sharp and painful line both outlines Donald’s arc here, and for the season, and makes it VERY clear why he retired and why I felt like he was already on his way and the spear of selene was simply the final straw. He gave up.. because he was just tired of it. Tired of being the one who got hurt.. and devistated when it wasn’t him that time. When he lost his sister for what he felt was NOTHING. Sure hte stars would be great but they’d done everything and gone everywhere..w asn’t.. wasn’t that enough/ Couldn’t they just be done? Couldn’t he just stop. The spear gave him an excuse to do what he always wanted, but it also caused him to harden up and view EVERYTHING about his old days of adventuring as bad when like most things i’ts not that simple., There were good times, sunshine, giant sized gay men obessing over you.. okay maybe the last part isn’t a plus in his book, but point is there was good and his arc is seeing that and realizing he can’t just cling to his pain. He has to let go so he can move on heathliy. 

As for said final challenge Zeus tasks the boys and Storkules with stealing the golden fleece from a little girl. While this is part of a whole scheme... he undereistmaed his son’s valour and Storkules is naturally sent spinning over having to steal from a child and is sent into a crisis. Louie however has no such qualms, as he is a children.. and he’s also louie.. but as he tries to the child starts singing. As Scrooge puts it “nothing good happens when creepy children start singing. “ Very true, it’s usually a sign freddy kruger’s about to show up or your  about to be taken by a miltiary orginzation obssed with The Doctor. 

The boys plug their ears.. and Zeus’ plan becomes horrifically clear. Turns out he had no real interest in an actual contest this time, and has the child take control of Storkules to murder them. And gives the doucheist shrug imaginable when his OWN SON IS BEGGING HIM NOT TO MAKE HIM MURDER SOME CHILDREN. 

Scrooge naturally gets involved. Meanwhile Donald is trying to escape the lightning cage Zeus is using to make sure no one leaves... when he hears the boys cries of terror. He may hate this kind of thing.. but there’s one thing and only one thing that can make him snap back into who he used to be like it was yesterday. And that’s harming his boys. So Donald snaps into action and it’s a glory to see as Scrooge snaps back with him “Just like old times”. The two once again get a little closer to reconclisation by wrestling a golden pansexual to prevent him from brainwashdely murdering two children. God I love this show and this job. 

Huey however is more of the aim for the head sort and Louie simply uses his natural talent to talk the siren into working with him, with him as her agent. As he puts it Zeus just wants to use her.. he wants to use her too.. but to make them BOTH rich. She agrees, Louie wins, and Donald finally accepts storkules is his friend. Scrooge TRIES to use this to mend fences with Zeus.. but Zeus being a petulant dick wants another game and Scrooge simply throws a game of billiards or something like it to get this over with. 

So we get our wrapup. Dewey and Webby return, and Storkules and Donald say their goodbyes. Donald finally admits he’s his friend.. and in that one act finally admits he can’t just bury his past because parts of it are painful. And as Storkules puts it he may be done with adventure.. btu adventure’s not done with him. He’s got more of his old self in who he is now than he thought. Dewey also accidently wins and our family finds launchpad took the plane apart. There.. there’s no real ending. I can only assume Selene said knock this shit off when she found out or beakly later came in guns blazing. I don’t know. 

Final Thoughts: This episode is excellent. It has it’s fault: there’s no plot progression, and the ending is just stupid and is the only one of the series that feels like nothing was resolved. That being said.. the rest of the episode makes up for it. It’s filled with great gags as usual.. but the real meat is the character work. Dewey’s worries about his mom, and Donald’s attempt to literally leave his past behind, it’s really amazing stuff that elevates the episode past it’s flaws and into one fo the series best. Wheras revisting Other Bin reminded me it had a bad subplot that drug it down.. revisiting this one showed me just HOW near perfect it is with only a few things holding it back. Even with the dispaoitnment factor.. this one’s still excellent, with Ben, Kate and Tony all at the top of their games. Great stuff. 

Next Time on this Arc: Dewey has to face the future when the truth comes out. And Scrooge.. bitches with his dad for half the episode. Sure beats his dad sadly btu sweetly passing on to be with his wife huh?!

Next time on this blog: Amphibia time! Speaking of facing the consequences of lying to your family, Hop Pop’s FINALLY forced to face hiding the Box from Anne, and we also get an ivy episode. Super fuckin shooters. 

If you liked this review, consdier joining my patreon, link’s in the blog and next stretchgoal is a darkwing duck episode a month. Until the next rainbow it’s been a pleasure. 

[soupy-the-only-one]

As per any succesful movie, there is a second. The hand of the author is forcing a sequel.

Because you can never defeat the rat.

Sebastian wants to free himself from Piggy prison, and ask help to the Feebles. After all, they are the same universe, the rat itself told so. The Feebles want to be in this movie, the Feebles need to be in this movie, to save their career, and their reputation.

What is worse: The shota yaoi on kuroshitsuji or the abuse on meet the feebles? Now you do not have to choose! you get both together! All the bdsm lovers and haters reunite to watch this show. Would Sebastian be the worse character in there? Bletch is so terrible. We found something worse than a pedophile, and it is a capitalistic pedophile whom is not hot.

The feebles is both parody of the muppet and satire about the showblitz world, as kuroshitusji is both shota yaoi and compelling story about abuse. The movie fake talking about this, or maybe does for real, and you will stilll have the doubt at the end of all of this. Ciel trauma, so very well managed on the first movie, is destroyed in a cashgrab sequel, and the children is put again in the depth for money.

Maybe it is a commentary on showbussiness.

After all, The Muppets are what it should be, friends doing mhayems, but how does Hollywood really function?

The feebles that at the end of the first movie where all dead or in withness protection are now again faking to be good for childrens for Disney, because that is where the money are.

So Ciel is kidnapped by the Muppet house, in which the Feebles lives. He is put again in a cage. A repeat in memory of the abuses he already had. The connection between the first ceremony made in a bdsm club church, and The Feebles owning abusive bdsm porn studios. Ciel is forced again in the shota role, after having become a real children. The shota possess him, as a creature, as a demon, and he cannot fight it while it is forcefed on his mouth.

Bletch sees it as some easy way to get money, Sebastian sees it as the only way to make Ciel again wake up and become the shota brat he is, because if not his soul will have to be eaten and would taste awful, too pure and innocent and normal and human.

Bletch ate a child auditioned, Sebastian will eat the child is the main start of the story.

The story cannot end, because this is how the manga economy functions in japan.

So you have the trash of the stilettoes calling the horror version of the muppets to return to their gothic shota narrative, and the trash of the fake blood and interiora coming out from puppets, but you also have a war between the two groups about what their work should be like.

Is it being "woke", but destroying each other on the background, as The Feebles are? The Muppet refuse to accept it, they do not want to do it. But Piggy and Kermit can't do anything against Disney, it owned their souls till recently. It still does. The victory of the first movie was just a cop out, a fake. They are still there.

The characters see their own actors in front of them, the muppets see their hands, is this really happening or not? This is just acting, nothing is real.

The trauma may feel like it, but you are all actors in a very shitty written story.

I am sorry you had to act in something so awfully done.

Piggy asks Grell for help, she appear, she kills many people, but she has only 15 minutes available as fan favourite cameo, and disappear because her face is wounded, and the story continue. As per many badly written plot, being the plan bad from the start this does nothing. The story is rigged against the Muppets, and Ciel.

And so we return to the status quo. The Muppets at Disney, Ciel at Sebastian.

Everyone smile, because this is an happy ending, and wave to the cameras, under the too bright lights.

Muppet Kuroshitsuji movie.

The storie goes. Kermit needs to make a new movie and have to find a new set for a gothic romance with him and Miss. Piggy as protagonists. They find the Phantomhive Manor, and invite themselves in.

The story goes. The movie the Muppets are making is a foil of the relationship between Sebastian and Ciel.

The story goes, Sebastian is muppet, because he is as supernatural creatures, and everyone go "he Is so perfect he Is so hot" and he is just. A muppet.

The story goes, the muppets are not able to stay in one place and not discover Sebastian is a demon.

The story goes. The shinigami all are muppets searched to eliminate the hand guiding them, and for that became so. Even if they were humans, they committed the act against God. Miss. Piggy also have no more hand inside her, and she can free them, if so they want. The hand is God, and the hand can be good, or evil, depending if Disney have bought It or not, depending from if capitalism have possessed It or not. The shinigami society is prisoner of the big hand as much as prisoners of itself. Only going against the rules and the hand together can free them. You can also kill it by being too sexy, say Piggy.

The story goes, the hands did not save Ciel, and only stiletto booths come, and the whole Muppet team have strong opinions about this. The hands may not be necessary, if they leave a children to a sexy pair of stilettoes. And the hands are so very much afraid of the Muppet team, so strong the whole word can write story for them, instead of leaving it to the hands. So strong the hands follow what the Muppet wants, and not vice-versa.

The monarch butterflies are flying around, because death is near, and Gonzo and his rat lover are frying them with oil to sell to visitors as a scam. Where have that butler gone? It is time for lunch.

The story goes, Ciel thinks the only solution to his trauma is to suicide once vengance arrive, and only that will bring peace, but the muppets are so ridiculous they make him feel so much child wonder he so little able to perceive that he wants to cry. This would be toxic yaoi, if he had not piled on him many rags asking for more candies.

The movie is a foil, and a parody, and everytime the story search to make parallels of the shota yaoi, a muppet appear on the scene, and make it a comedy. It already was, of course, but no love song can be sang if Gonzo is on the room.

The story goes, Piggy karate chop Sebastian into a shredder, and his true form come out, and they are stiletto booths, as is canon, and Piggy like that stiletto booths, very much.

Sebastian is now the footwear of Piggy, and everything is good.

The story goes, Grell deguise herself as a butler and as an human men, but when she can finally be herself she is a muppet.

And at the end of the story, Grell Muppet get boobs, and she return home to Madame Red, hosting a party for the premiere of the movie.

The movie is a success, of course.

Ciel Phantomhive laugh.

The stilettoes should just be happy to be of service to Miss. Piggy.

[luxury-loki]

Endgame Chat

!!spoiler free part!!

Hey everyone, this is part one of my full Endgame review, hope you enjoy! My blog is now officially no longer spoiler free (I mean it’s been a week, if you haven't seen it by now then wyd???). However, everything will still be tagged with ‘#endgame spoiler’ and ‘#endgame spoilers’. If you do not want to see any spoilers, PLEASE block these from your feed if you haven't already, consider this your only warning! I will not be taking the blame for anything you have spoiled for you from this blog from now on.

thanks babies,

Lara xxx

I fully have no words to describe this film. It was such a satisfying end I barely even knew I needed, and I have so much I wanna talk about, so strap in cus this is gonna be a long ride.

I think I'm just going to do the same layout as my infinity war posts, with one for character arcs and the there for memorable events/moments.

Let’s start with characters. I’m going to talk mostly about the main six, and anyone else just a brief few things.

Thor

“I’m still worthy!”

I have been seeing alooooot of hate for the way Endgame handled Thor’s character, and I have to completely disagree. We’ve become so comfortable with seeing Thor as the most powerful Avenger, the one who was fine when his mother died, father died, brother, best friend etc that it was crucial to see that this was never actually the case. Thor’s decent into alcoholism, obesity and depression showed he was never really okay with everything that’s happened, he only bottled it inside till it all became too much, and having it healed by a chat with his mother was the perfect way to reach his arc. His relationship with his mother has been so overlooked by the marvel fans (me included) and it was so special to see this heart warming moment between them. When he said “I love you Mum.” to her my heart BURST and my eyes suddenly got very teary, not to mention the added heartbreak that he knew it was the day she was going to die. Overall, although yes, It was comical to see him in this state, that was not the only point to his storyline, it was about seeing a more emotional side to his character, a side which proves he isn't just a ‘tough guy’ who can handle the force of a star and wield lightening. He just as emotionally unstable as the rest of us, and needed his family back (both blood and The Avengers), and a reminder that he was still worthy of Mjolnir to set him back on the right path again to greatness. 

His passing of his kingship of Asgard to Valkyrie was also important. Although the Thor franchise had the most perfect beginning and ending, starting with Thor becoming king of Asgard when he was childish and irresponsible and ending with him becoming King when he was actually prepared, the title of king was still not something he chose, and with Valkyrie there to be extremely capable of the role and eager to take it, it makes sense now to allow Thor to go on to actually live the life he wants, and become the true hero his mother tells him to be. I feel he suits the role of a hero who fights the bad guys more than a sensible noble king. I desperately hope he is in Guardians 3, as I think a Quill/Thor bromance is about to blossom beautifully. 

Natasha 

“I used to have nothing, then I got this family.”

I did not see Natasha’s death coming, like not from a million miles away and it BROKE ME. I actually cried at it more the second time I went to see it. We as an audience forget how she really has no one except The Avengers, they are her one true family, and this is emphasised in the scene on Vormir when she explains how she didn't even know her own father's name. Natasha has always been great in every film she's been in, and has been integral to the development of the MCU, however her role in Endgame was something else. Seeing how broken she was over the snap and seeing how she felt it was her responsibly alone to keep track of the events happening across the whole planet shows how seriously she takes her role as an Avenger and how much she wants to earn the title. I’ll talk more about the scene on Vormir in my next post, but it was really something else. The fact it was Clint she goes with was so important, her best friend. The line from him in the guardians’ ship “this is a long way from Budapest” was such a great call back to the first avengers film, and reminds us of the long history the two share. 

When it was obvious one of them was going to die I knew it was going to be her, which is very telling of what I internally think of her character. She would never have let Clint die whilst he had a wife and children at home. Natasha sacrificed herself so that half of the universe could survive, as did Tony. Everyone alive in the MCU owes their life to her, and that is an incredible legacy for her character to leave. She will be desperately missed, but her new film coming out, despite (I assume) being a prequel will be a welcome look into her life again.

RIP Nat x

Clint

“I wish I could tell her we won.”

Opening the film on Clint losing his family was a clever way of reminding the audience of the loss experienced by everyone in Infinity War, not just the characters we followed. It was also interesting to see Clint’s darker side. On his mission to rid the world of the criminals who avoided dusting whilst innocent lives were taken, he murders what we can only assume is hundreds, showing the extreme anger and sadness he was feeling over the loss of his wife and children. It is Tony later in the film who says to Pepper “we got lucky.” in reference to the fact they still had each other, Clint had the least luck, losing three children and his wife, we can understand why he turned to such eratic violence.

Once reunited with The Avengers he continues to have a huge role in the film, especially driven by both his desire to bring back his family, and also avenge Natasha’s death which he most likely feels very guilty for. The moment when they all return form the quantum realm except her, and Clint is seen crying is very emotional, and his role in the fight against Thanos is not one he takes lightning. Clint even carries the Infinity Gauntlet for a large proportion of the final fight scene, we thank him for his incredible service! Endgame was definitely Clint’s film. He had a big part in many of the most emotional/nail biting scenes, and dint just spend the whole thing under the mind control of the main villain! Really glad he got to shine through and find his spotlight, and I can't wait for what the Hawkeye series will have to offer.

Banner

“I put the brains and the braun together.”

Okay so when I first saw the Doctor Hulk combo I HATED IT. I remember turning to my friend in the cinema and just going “I hate it I hate it I hate it get it away from me” but then by the end of the film I won't lie, I loved it. I love that he now has the best sides of both banner and Hulk, the funny/smart/kind side, put together with the incredible strength of The Hulk actually makes for a pretty powerful avenger, even standing up to Thor at one point when he asks him to take his hands off him. Banner had some great comedy bits, including when he makes fun of Scott when the kids don't wanna take a picture with him, and the hilarious part when he punches the taxi in New York, but also some important emotional roles. His upset when he discovers Natasha is dead is evident, explaining how he misses her to Steve later in the film, and this is definitely used as a drive for what he goes on to do. He sacrifices his life and uses the gauntlet to bring everyone back, BANNER DID THAT. Can we start appreciating him more now???? THANKS. No but seriously this was a very important moment for him, and was like the finale of the great character arc we have seen over the last 3 films he has been in. In Ragnaork he struggles with his relationship with the Hulk, still being unable to control when he changes from Hulk to Banner, stuck in either when least convenient, nd always under the control of Hulk. In Infinity War, it’s almost like the two are so connected, and hulk is so aware of Banner’s experience that he begins to control when he doesn't want to come out, rather than when he does. The two are much more like a duo, understanding of each other but stilll not necessarily working together. in Endgame they finally merge, forming a mutual relationship where each benefits wonderfully from the other. I’m really happy for Banner reaching this state. I don't know if his character will appear in anymore MCU films to come, but his character arc has certainly reached a satisfying end, and I believe, despite the sadness of losing Natasha, he has a reached a place of peace and happiness.

Tony

“I love you 3000.”

THE BIG SAD. Still can't believe he is dead. The corner stone of the MCU, the man who made it all happen, how can we ever thank Tony Stark enough? short answer: we can’t, but I'll damn well try. Tony Stark has had perhaps the greatest character arc of them all. Growing from being an arrogant, selfish, greedy businessman who sold weapons and funded wars now sacrifices his life for the entire universe, despite knowing he will leave behind his child and wife alone. It is so painful watching the film for the second time, seeing how desperate he is to not lose what he’s got (Morgan), knowing the whole time what is to happen a the end, yet also a sense of pride emerges. It is heartbreaking to know he will in fact die, but also incredible to know that even despite all his personal feelings, he will always put his family, The Avengers and the rest of the beings in the universe before him because THAT is who Tony Stark is. it doesn't matter who he once was, he has grown beautifully as a character, and has the hero’s death he properly deserves. When  Pepper said “you can rest now.” to him I absolutely BAWLED. very good. Awful and painful, but very good.

Also just Tony as a dad, although we didn't get to see it for very long, was a great position to see his character in. He keeps that classic Stark sense of humour “go to bed or I'll sell your toys” whilst also it is immensely clear to see how much being a father has matured him. Although in reality, he is not only a father to Morgan, but Peter too, and choosing to have him die in front of him was truly a STAB to the gut, but also important I think for Peters development now. He will have to go it alone now, without the support of his guardian, which will be a good way to ensure his character can grow independently. Stark was clearly torn up over Peter’s death in a way only a father would, and Peter im sure will carry this bond with him for as long as he lives. I hope to see Morgan and Peter connect in Far From Home, that would be really special, and the perfect way of carrying Tony’s memory.

Thank you to Tony, and RDJ for the incredible 11 years in the MCU, we just could no be here without you, you can rest now, but know you are in our hearts forever.

RIP Tony x

Steve

“You gonna tell me about her?”

“No, I don't think I will.”

Guys okay so I cried at Tony and Nat’s death, but NOTHING got me like Steve’s final scene let me TELL YOU, but first we will start earlier on. 

Steve has a very classic role int he first half on the film, comforting Nat when she needs it, helping Tony, devising the plan etc but he really shines in his trip to New York, the final battle scene, and of course his finale. 

The scene where he fights himself was really great, and the lines “I can do this all day” “yeah I know” was AMAZING! Not to mention the iconic callback to the elevator scene with the added ‘hail hydra’. The Russo Brothers did an excellent job in ensuring the revisited all the best parts of cap’s time in the MCU in Endgame for sure. But, the best bit came in the final fight scene WHEN HE LIFTED MJOLNIR. I SCREAMED. I genuinely don't think I have ever been so excited in an MCU film in my life, when the hammer came flying through the air I thought at first it was going to be Captain Marvel (which would have been cool too) but when it was him I YELLED. I simultaneously couldn't believe what my eyes were seeing whilst also thinking it was the most obvious thing ever. OF COURSE Steve can lift the hammer, of course he is worthy. The added line of Thor saying: “I knew it!” was just perfect too, with their mid-battle banter yet again “you have the little one, I'll take the big one.” much like in Infinity war with “I see you’ve copied my beard!”. Another great moment was of course the: “Avengers... assemble.” which I also absolutely screeched at. INCREDIBLE CINEMA.

But, despite all this excitement and incredible action Steve’s character got, his best part in the film by far was his final goodbye to Sam and Bucky. When he left to put the stones back something in me knew he wasn't going to come back, and although it was sad, it was also relieving in a way. To know he must be going to find Peggy, and to know he would finally “get some of that life” he had always wanted, and find happiness with her was beautiful. When the camera panned round to him on the bench, it was extremely clever to (as he was older and more shrunken) depict him looking the exact way pre-serum Steve did in The First Avenger, with a similar jacket and smaller frame. At first I thought it somehow was younger him, and It was only seeing his face that made me realise that was not the case. By this post I was properly crying. Like tears streaming down my face hiding my sobs crying. His passing of the shield onto Sam was incredibly moving, and before he left to the see when Bucky and him joke about not doing anything stupid whilst he’s gone was also a perfect goodbye. When he went to put his hand on Sam’s and it showed he had a wedding ring, I honestly couldn't even see through my tears, and that final scene. That final scene. The camera panning through the window, the soft music, the slow turning of the camera to reveal Peggy dancing with Steve, I let out what I think is the ugliest noise I have ever made. a full blown SOB. I was actually uncontrollable, the lights went up in the cinema and I just kept going, still crying a good five minutes later. It was an ending that, now it’s happened, seemed so obvious, yet I never saw it coming. Of course The Avengers’ saga had to end that way. The beauty of the ending was that it wasn’t really an ending at all, but a beginning. Yes, Steve has reached the end of his time as an Avenger, but he was only just starting his true, long life he has ahead of him. The perfect finale.

CONCLUSION

I loved this film. I think it did wonders for all the main characters, and to know I know live in a world with no more Avengers films to come is devastating, but I'm just happy I was alive to see them happen, and to be a part of this wonderful community.

Thanks for reading if you made it this far! Check back next Thursday for my post on storylines/events!

Lara x

[alteriius]

Into The Fire (Updated 3/24/18)

FANDOM: D.Gray-Man PAIRING: Allen Walker/Lavi/Tyki Mikk (Allen Walker/Lavi & Lavi/Tyki Mikk) WORD COUNT: 4,345 LINKS: AO3 | FFN

SUMMARY: Prophecies say that when the first thirteen dragons die, the fourteenth terrorizes the countryside, seeking to revive its dead brethren. It creates disciples, goads them into hunting it with the promise that what was stolen from them will be returned. "You lost your heart to me last time, what did you plan on losing this time?"

This is being updated with the second chapter in celebration of @wipweek​ (March 24th; Favorite WIP) and also to celebrate my anniversary and engagement to @transgenderlavi.

"Kanda, we have to do something!"

"No, we don— Gah!"

The unholy scream that follows would've woken the dead and risen them from the grave if they were close enough to any—but unfortunately, the only one near enough was Lavi and if the noise wasn't enough to wake him, the painful ringing in his ears would've been.

Scrunched up eyes peek open at the two voices, the sight of one blocked out by the eyepatch that remained over his eye. The first face he sees is a young woman no older than himself with long, black tresses that spills over her shoulder when their eyes meet and she leans down to greet him.

"Hey there," she says so soft that he barely hears her over the pained groans of her companion that isn't visible from where he lay. Amethyst-colored eyes glimmered in the afternoon sunlight as a pained smile spread across her face, though he didn't understand what was causing her so much grief.

Lavi's memory is caught in a foggy haze and the knowledge of how he'd gotten here—or where "here" was—was far out of his reach. His vision was blurry from his long nap, though he didn't remember laying down for one. Hadn't he been doing something...?

He opens his mouth to speak and a cough escapes him instead, lungs straining like he'd been swallowing fist fulls of smoke mere moments before this— oh.

Memories of the canyon and what—who—he found in it come rushing back to him at a dizzying pace. Were he standing, he’s sure the biting pain from his worsening headache would've had him on the ground.

Concerned eyes stare down at him as her companion finally returns to join her, but Lavi's attention has fallen away from the two and even the man's features go unrecorded and the distance he keeps despite being in sight goes unnoticed.

Starting to sit up, she jumps to steady his shaky movements, but he is so fixated on the feeling in his chest that he misses the words that bid him to remain still.

He knows his heart is beating out of rhythm like a song that's lost its tempo, but he can't feel it pounding against his chest like it's about to burst from it. Lavi reaches up, touches the torn cloth of his shirt and the second layer of fabric that should've been beneath it.

"You need to rest after what you went through," she says, though her words verge on inaudible as quiet as they are and as far away Lavi's mind is.

"No, I- I can't, I—"

His hand lays over the hole in his shirt, both covering the unbound cleavage and feeling the fresh scar tissue where smooth skin had previously been. Her hands weigh heavy on his shoulders; his body feels like lead as he struggles to move.

It's her companion that finally shatters the nightmare he's been having and makes it a reality.

"Your heart was stolen."

All he hears are the harsh words; he doesn't process what the young lady in front of him says afterwards. He was a draconologist. He'd been told for as long as he could remember that he had no need for a heart, but that was figurative. Being without the blood-pumping organ meant one thing: He was no draconologist now.

He was a slayer, doomed to fight dragons until he died or until his heart was returned to him—or that's what the legends said, anyways.

Lavi could stilll feel his heart beating, but it was far behind him, taunting him as if it wanted him to follow the—as if it wanted to be found.

"What— What happened to me?" he asks, trying to make sense sense of memories wrapped in black smoke. He remembered the scaled claws that had descended on him and pierced his chest, pulled his heart from its cage... In his mind, it looked as much like a fever dream as it felt like one.

Growing up, he'd heard tales of the fourteenth dragon's heart stealing ways, but an unfathomable nightmare had just become his reality.

"The same thing that happens to all of us."

Her smile falters and weakens as she speaks and Lavi's visible eye widens as he finally recognizes the clothes they wore. Garbed in coats of the purest white and hemmed with a vibrant gold, it dawns on him that these are the same people that he would now be expected to fight alongside.

"We all wake up with foggy memories, a scar on our chest and a heart that beats in the stomach of a dragon," she says, though she has no further need to explain. Lavi understands now that he's regaining his bearing, remembering the risk he took when he set foot into the dragon's home.

More than being turned into a disciple, however, he almost expected to be eaten in his entirety as a mid-morning snack for a monster.

Stories had told him that only those worthy and brave enough to face the dragon would have their hearts ripped from their chests by it. Many draconologists had been killed in their pursuit of the dragon before him, so why had it chosen him as worthy?

He didn't want this.

"What's your name?"

The question takes him by surprise. So lost in his thoughts he had been, he doesn't realize for another second that this is the second time she's asked him that.

"L-Lavi," he says, struggling with unfamiliar stutters. This wasn't a problem that had ever happened before, but panic was threatening to suffocate him. "My name is Lavi."

"Well, Lavi, my name is Lenalee Lee."

As she speaks, she draws back and makes a motion with her hand. He hears a sound like a horse neighing overhead before a gust of wind musses his hair, eyes scrunching up briefly as he raises a hand to block out the fierce wind. With eyes shut tight, he can only hear the beating of wings as someone significantly smaller than a dragon lands behind Lenalee.

A wave of terror washes over him, his eyes snapping open to see not a monster, but a—

"A pegasus?" Lavi asks, not able to believe what he's saying. Lenalee greets the black-winged creature as she procurs something from a storage pack strapped to its side, out of the way of its large wingspan.

When she turns back around, he sees a knitted, tan shawl in her hands and he wonders if that was a product she herself had created before she returned and wrapped it around his shoulders, hiding what Lavi didn't want the rest of the world to see. He barely has time to mutter his gratitude before she's helping him to his feet.

"You should come with me. There are some people that you need to meet."

Though he knows he'll never be able to fight a dragon in the same way she or her unnamed companion might, Lavi follows her lead, too exhausted to refuse.

Exhaustion had set into his bones long before she loaded him onto her steed—Koku, he learned his name was—like he was little more than cargo, though that was probably an accurate description of how all Disciples of the Holy Order were treated by the organization that housed them.

Knowing what he did, it was probably foolish to agree to accompany her to the castle that was their headquarters. His master had always planned for them to visit together so that he could navigate the Holy Order's parasitic politics that were designed to award the draconologists with as little as possible while their own organization raked in intellectual profit.

None of this was supposed to happen.  

He was supposed to come here in one piece, with a beating heart in his chest and an old man screaming in his ear to play his assigned role as a "proper" draconologist—though he was more like the few others he'd met than the old man was.

And he was definitely not supposed to arrive on the back of pegasus, arms wrapped around a cute sky knight to keep himself from being blown off the creature's back.

Their descent into the courtyard is slowed by Koku's powerful wings and he finds himself unnerved by the way all heads turn to look at them, gazes focused not on the returning Disciple, but him.

He can see those near enough to him arching their brows at the sight of him, even as Lenalee slides off the pegasus and helps him do the same. Such would warrant loud complaints, if not for how tired he was and how unnerving having so many eyes on him was.

Once his feet found the ground, the murmuring begins and he wraps the shawl tighter around his shoulders, hiding his form and the scar on his chest. This was not a situation he was used to.

For him, normal was receiving the ire of dozens of strangers in the town square when he can't keep his mouth shut. The attention awarded to him now was different.

His time here could be counted in minutes on a single hand, but Lavi had already formed an opinion.

He didn't like any of this.

Lavi desired more than anything to leave this place and go back to the drawing board to find a better way to approach the dragon and probe it for information. It left a painful ache in his chest that wasn't born from the loss of what should have been there.

Through the dragon's magic alone, he still drew breath and there was no byproduct of the spell that sated his curiosity. With every step further into the Holy Order's headquarters and every sight within it, his desire to understand the dragon and its motives only grew.

After proceeding through a number of rooms that anyone with a lesser memory might call a maze, Lenalee opens a pair of large doors decorated by a stained glass painting of a dragon—the eighth, he noted—being slain.

Absently, he wondered if the Disciple pictured there still lived.

Through those double doors that depicted the first slaying of this generation of dragons was a man that sat behind a desk littered with papers that pegged him as something akin to the draconologist's chief of operations.

"Brother," Lenalee greets as she shuts the door tight behind them, leaving Lavi to wonder if that's for the sake of privacy or more to slow any potential attempt at escape. She strode up to stand next to where he sat before she gestured to him.  

"This is Lavi. Kanda and I found—" She pauses briefly, glancing at him in time to see him cringe. "—him at the canyon's border."

A sigh of relief slips through Lavi's lips and he offers her a smile, which she returns with the same vibrancy.

Though she gives no more details, her chief—her brother—nods, understanding. His lips form a smile, though the depths of its sadness are something that Lavi can't hope to figure out.

"So you've been made a disciple," he says, linking his fingers together to rest his chin on his hands. Lavi knows that his words are true. For all anyone cares, Lavi is nothing more and nothing less than a disciple now and the missing organ in his chest proves as much to everyone but himself.

"I'm... I'm a draconologist," Lavi says with unfamiliar uncertainty. Never has he been forced to question who he was before. From a young age, he has been trained for one purpose and the idea of losing his very reason for living...

Two sets of eyes widen, the two other people turning to look at each other before their gazes move back to him.

"You're a draconologist?"

He repeats it as if it's blasphemous and perhaps it is. Never before had a draconologist been recorded as a victim of the fourteenth dragon. Lavi was the first.

"Yes, I am," Lavi says, though the words aren't the entire truth. After all, he's a mere apprentice. He can't claim the title like the others could; he still has to earn that. "I was so close to learning something out there. The dragon might've stolen my heart, but I can still feel it and I can feel I was about to find out somethin' important!"

He had too many questions to quietly give up, to try and kill the creature he'd been ready to die to learn more about.

"Do you really have a choice? The only way to get your heart back is to fight and kill the dragon."

"I'm still breathin'!" Lavi says, his curiosity only growing thanks to the empty space in his chest. It was a void that seemed to be filled with questions that increased in number every minute that passed. His nerves were still clawing at him, but fear was overpowered by enthusiasm and a thirst for knowledge that couldn't be sated by slaying a dragon.

This time, Lenalee opens her mouth to protest and he knows by the look in her eyes the jist of what she's going to say before the words leave her lips. And he interrupts her before they can with a smile that didn't suit a man likely to walk out of this castle and meet his doom at the claws of a Great Dragon.

"I'll figure something out."

Lavi turns to leave, smile falling the minute he turns his back on them. Worry settles over him like a beast more terrifying than the one that had taken his heart. More than ever before, he was certain that his passion would end in his death sooner than he or his master had been prepared for.

"Wait," Lenalee starts and Lavi holds his hands up before she can start. He won't be convinced; he's already convinced himself that this is the right path. That simply letting go isn't his style.

"Sorry, Lena, but unless yer gonna offer ta help me..."

"I can't help you," she says and Lavi hand drops back down to his side. He'd expected as much. She seemed kind, but she was a disciple. Her ability to work outside the confines of what the Holy Order decided was appropriate for her had a very limited scope and pushing her past that could put her in grave danger. "But I think I know someone who can."

"Ya know somebody crazy enough to hunt down a dragon besides the other disciples, while not killing it?"

He turns back to the duo in question, sees the smiles on their faces. Looks like "crazy" might be a perfect word for whoever they have in mind.

"Have you ever heard of the Noah family?"

[onceawasteland]

NATASHA, PIERRE AND THE GREAT COMET OF 1812 (August 11th 2017, and August 12th 2017) there are spoilers to come but i felt you would all appreciate my take on the show for I have greatly appreciated everyone else's reviews. THIS STORY IS THE BEST THING TO EVER HAPPEN TO ME AND I CANNOT BELIEVE THAT IT IS CLOSING. the above are pictures from my two respective seats and at the stage door Act One * the walls are covered in portraits from the 1800s, some of which are landscapes of operas) * i danced (badly) on a broadway stage * to get to the on stage seating you enter through lucas' door * while waiting for the show to start old russian music is playing. they also played some french music bc they were francophiles YAY FOR HISTORY * a lady behind me said "omg look at how they did the staging... i guess its pretty clear that theres not a lot of dancing in this show. and i about died laughing * during prologue Cathryn squeaked on the clarinet as she ran down the stairs and my best friend is a clarinet player so this made her RIDICULOUSLY happy * OAK LOOKED RIGHT AT ME DURING MY FAVORITE PART OF PIERRE WHICH IS MY FAVORITE SONG (You empty and stupid, contented fellows. satisfied with your place, im different from you im different from you. i stilll want to do something) * during pierre, pierre sings the part, "and how many men before good russian men, believing in goodness and truth" right to Anatole (who is in the main spot light) and a bunch of other dudes including Dolokohv * Anatole is wasted pretty much the whole show but he this is when you first notice it and lucas was sitting on the stairs right next to me and he kind of drunkenly slipped before he ran to the other side of the stage and i was like 😍😍 * Deneé was on our side of the stage pretty much the whole show and she looked me straight in the eyes about 15 times * during the very beginning of no one else when the music just starts to play Deneé walks with very youthful steps and it just emphasizes her innocence and lack of awareness and just EVERYTHING ABOUT THIS PLAY IS MAGIC * no one else is the most beautiful thing i have ever seen (well kind of if you dont count the great comet of 1812) The independent lightbulbs which are hanging from the ceiling all kind of drop so it kind of looks like Natasha is floating among the stars * when deneé sang "we were angles once dont you remember" the second night i was there the guy she was singing to on stage right said yes and you could hear it in her mike 😂 * also during no one else, when Deneé sings "this winter sky" she is standing on the top tier of stairs and she flings her arms out gesturing to the sky and the blue light of the moon is the only real light on her and it is quite simply breathtaking * andrei shows up 3-4 times during act one and its super sad every time. the first one (i think, from my vantage point) was during no one else when Natasha is squeezing her knees. Andrei is holding her letters in his hand and then he puts them in his coat pocket right next to his heart and i want to die. * at the beginning of the opera when Dolokohv is introduced he is so ridiculously arrogant and its adorable. Dolokohv in general is pretty fucking adorable. He points at the mezzanine and smirks and its beautiful * at the opera when Natasha says "a little sad a little stout" pierre is in the parlor which is right between natasha and Marya, and Helene and he makes this face like "wtf dude we should be bros" and he is playing the accordion and he pulls it in a way that the note declines and its just this hilarious moment * during the opera andrei shows up covered in blood right after Natasha sees Anatole is staring at her and its so depressing and also NICHOLAS BELTON OMG * Andrei also shows up during Natasha and Anatole (ok my heart 💔) * pierre is reading in his study through almost the entire show * So i heard this before and i didnt believe it bc you cant tell from just the music but the way that lucas plays Anatole is just so complex i love it. During, Natasha and Anatole he is a. really surprised at the amount that he isnt being rebuffed. and b. he has all these nervous tics before he enters the box all the way and makes his presence known and it just adds so much to the character because while yes he is the bad guy he isnt evil he is just unaware of everyone else. * he also tries to convince himself that he isnt doing anything wrong during "we are speaking of the most ordinary things" he wasnt trying to convince her HE WAS TRYING TO CONVINCE HIMSELF * and then RIGHT WHEN SHE SAYS "yet I feel closer to you thank Ive ever felt with any other man" he just looks so happy and surprised * Right before Anatole goes to talk to Pierre during the duel he does this mind blown motion after watching natasha exit and its so fucking cute * DOLOKOHV'S "DRINK DRINK"s AT THE BEGINNING OF THE DUEL HAPPENED AS HE RAN UP THE STAIRS RIGHT NEXT TO ME AND I DIED BC HOLY FUCK NICK CHOKSI * I know you all already know this but the strobe lights are the most badass thing i have ever seen in my life. i straight up thought i was going to die they are SO intense. and during the ohohohohohs at the beginning lucas and nick did this hoping dance and i was like 😍 and its so cool bc of the strobe lights and I WILL NEVER GET OVER THE STROBE LIGHTS HOLY FUCK * the second night i saw it, i cant remember who it was but, someone literally almost kicked me in the face from the stage section right in front of me * during the line "then i feel a pleasant warmth in my body" LUCAS DOES A BODY ROLE AND IT IS SO RIDICULOUSLY HOT I CANNOT EVEN DESCRIBE IT * OK OAK! this is the moment i was like FUCK ME GENTLY WITH A CHAINSAW THIS BOY IS A GIFT FROM HEAVEN. When Dolokohv is singing "heres to the health of married women" he is talking directly into pierre's face trying to bro out, and oak's face just falls completely and im like I NEED TO GIVE YOU A HUG DONT BE SAD. then, THENNNNN Dolokohv actually goes and makes out with helene two feet away from him and the hurt on oaks face was so raw i just 😭 * during the duel it is super obvious that Helene actually cares about Pierre because when she see that he hit Dolokohv shes more worried about the retribution than she is about dolokohv and i just want to die bc these characters are so fucking complex and BEAUTIFULLLLL * Dust and Ashes IS THE MOST BEAUTIFUL SONG AND OAK SINGS IT SO WELL AND I DIDNT KNOW THAT THE SONGS COULD GET BETTER BUT HE DID AND I WANT TO DIE * Dust and Ashes is my best friends favorite song and Oak looked directly at her during her favorite line too and its like he fucking knew we were sitting there * during sunday morning Sonya is trying to imitate Marya by sitting exactly like her and that is so great * Charming is gay. that is all there is to say really, just GAYYYYY * and Natasha imitates Helene at the end of Charming which again shows her innocence (SCREAMING) * she then makes the most adorable "well if you say so face" during "but still she talks so frankly. so it must be alright" and she kind of shrugs and AGHHHH * at the beginning if the ball Anatole, again, has all sorts of nervous energy and hes pacing and bouncing on the balls of his feet shaking his hands. and it just adds so much depth. * the ball was really distracting the first night bc two people (cant say who they were bc they are in huge ass masks) were dancing like 6 inches away from me and kept breathing in my ear. I am not complaining. * Lucas turns around with his hands up in a surrender pose like "i didnt do anything what are you saying" when natasha says "your hurting my hand" which i love. then he runs up and just grabs her bodily, turns her to him and smashes his lips on to hers. they stay like that for like 4 seconds and then natasha throws herself on top of him, essentially, and he kind of spins them around and its really kind of romantic (i am not a shipper of the two, except that i maybe kind of am after seeing how they interact with eachother) * Natasha kind of freaks out after the kiss but she is convinced that there is nothing else for her now but anatole and its like GIRLLLLL * Lucas and Deneé leave the stage arm and arm through the big door at the back with the same white lights that Anatole entered with. ACT 2 VERY FIRST THING THAT HAPPENED IN ACT TWO. LUCAS STEELE STARED INTO MY EYES FOR A SOLID 6 SECONDS AND SMIRKED AT ME AN I DIED AND MY FACE PROBABLY LOOKED SO DUMB BUT I DONT CARE BECAUSE AGHH In Letters when pierre says IT IS NAPOLEON the portrait of napoleon on the wall lit up and i cried andrei was there during all of letters and it was so depressing BECAUSE YOU KNOW WHATS COMING AND AGH. right before sonya and natasha sonya and anatole glare at eachother as lucas exists and then sonya runs to grab the letter from natasha's hand. DENEÉ'S SASS DURING THE LINE "I do not grasp the question" is fucking epic. she roles her eyes and its perfection during Sonya alone Igrid Michaelson was literally three feet away. and the lights didnt light up behind denee and i was like ohhh someone messed up. Dolokohv was trying insanely hard to convince anatole not to go through with the abduction and his turmole was very evident. at one point denee walk across the stage and he looked between her and anatole, ran his hand through his hair and then just gives in and follows. Anatole is v annoyed with Dolokohv during preparations. while dolokohv is speaking he is mouthing along like "shut up bro you dont know wtf youre saying" its very funny balaga: there are no words just so much happened paul pinto is a beast i dont even know how he does it. ok on night two i tried write down things from balaga Heath whipped me in the face with his hair as he was head banging on the stage in front of me. marya plays the drums at the top of the stage #GRACEMcLEANISAGODDESS andrei is present through most of act two. he is playing the triangle in pierre's study during balaga OAK DOES THE MOST ADORABLE LAUGH AFTER HIS "WooooOOOOOOAHHH" in abduction. he makes me want to die Lucas' "WAAAAAAIIIT first we have to sit down" is hilarious because the amount of time that he just sits there in silence flirting with this random lady on stage is ridiculous. he messes with his hair and puts his arm around her while we (i) all just sit there staring at him with doppy smiles on our (my) faces. on night two he sat next to a guy on the stage and i really thought he was going to flirt with him as well but alas dolokohv's fur cloak bit is very funny and the cloak is purple which is not what i imagined. again i will say that he is adorable anatole makes out with the fur cloak girl before going to get natasha. boi Grace McLean's in my house is not just angry she is also devastated that natasha is to be ruined. her face is contorted with pain in almost every line. and she is pleading with natasha to listen to her. her vocals are just so insane just OMG the blocking during in my house was also insanely cool. sonya, natasha, and Marya are standing in a a triangle the whole time (denee was RIGHT in front of me for the majority of the time) and they would switch which point of the triangle they were at and the rotation was very neat. I REALIZED LATER THAT THIS IS A PARALLEL TO MOSCOW BECAUSE THEY ARE STANDING IN A TRIANGLE THEN TOO AND OMG THIS SHOW DOES LITERALLY EVERYTHING RIGHT in call to pierre, oaks first what, when pinto gives him the letter is like "wtf is going on here im nobody whats going on" and despite being very depressing is also kind of funny. the whats then progressively get less funny and more depressing and i HATE THAT THIS HAPPENS TO MY CHILDREN NICHOLAS BELTON WAS RIGHT NEXT TO ME ON THE SECOND NIGHT DURING CALL TO PIERRE AND HE KIND OF RUNS AND HIDES BEHIND A POST IN THE BACK OF THE THEATER AS PIERRE LEARSN WHAT HAPPENED TO NATASHA. pierre went to find anatole in the club all of the ensemble were surrounding the walls of the theater and it felt like we were actually in the club which was insane after "NATASH, NATASHA. IT IS ESSENTIAL THAT I SEE NATASHA" Anatole throws his head down into helene's lap and i read somewhere that "they downplayed the incest" BUT I CALL BULL SHIT I DIDNT SAY THIS EARLIER BUT DURING THE DUEL AT THE LINE "Imma make love to her" AMBER IS GRINDING ON LUCAS SO I CALL BULL FUCKING SHIT anatole is also really distraught. its super weird bc with just the music to go off of you think anatole is just this jackass that wants nothing but to feel good and fuck everyone else... BUT LUCAS OMG lucas makes him sympathetic. he seems to really love natasha and when pierre is yelling at him he takes it to heart and freaks the hell out and just my love (i mean still a dick but) pierre and anatole is so fucking intense. and the ending if it when anatole is being a whiny baby IT IS SO GREAT BC ITS SO CLEAR HE IS THROWING A TEMPER TANTRUM which emphasizes his age and lack of understanding as well WHICH IS JUST SO FUCKING GREAT. Anatole's exit is almost an exact reflection of his entrance. with the lights flaring as he walks out the door everyone talks about this but when natasha poisons herself shes right between anatole and pierre and its so depressing and just my heart pierre and andrei is so fucking sad. first off in the book (which is all about redemption, ill get to that) Andrei gets the BEST most beautiful redemption arc, and ive always been kind if sad that they took that out. everyone else gets at least the possibility of redemption and they just straight up removed every possibility of andrei finding forgiveness. but whatever this is the song that made me start crying, i didnt stop until i was standing at the stage door both nights. ITS JUST SO FUCKING SAD AND I DONT EVER WANT TO FORGET NICHOLAS BELTON STANDING ON THE STAGE "smiling like his father" AS HE COMES TO TERMS WITH THIS BETRAYAL. OAK! OAKKKKKK. I did not know that pierre could get better i thought we had reached maximum amazing but HOLY SHIT. first off the whole time he was hilarious. at the beginning of the Duel when he said opera he satirized the word and drew it out kind of long which was hilarious. and other little moments while he was in his parlor. BRILLIANT. and then AND THEN DURING PIERRE AND NATASHA. i have no words the whole thing was heart breaking. I started crying during Pierre and Andrei and I didnt stop until the end, at the stage door, but holy fuck. after he says his line (you all know the one) i could SEE this singular tear fall from his face and god damn if that wasnt the most heart wrenching thing i have ever seen. he was full on sobbing on stage and i could not handle it. During Pierre and Natasha, Helene, Marya, and Dolokohv were sitting in the audience sections and Helene was crying, dolokohv was strumming his guitar and looking very depressed and Marya just sat there shaking her head. Im not sure if other people were around too but those were the three i could see. during great comet everything is just so beautiful. oaks acting and gestures made everything 100102948391x better but the lighting was INSANE. the comet was beautiful the stars were beautiful, oak was beautiful. one of the MOST stunning plays I have EVER seen in so many ways. a person is not supposed to cry 6 times during a show... it requires magic and this show had it in bucket loads. STAGE DOOR DAY ONE: I MISSED GRACE MCLEAN BC I WAS DISTRACTED AND I WILL NEVER FORGIVE MYSELF AGHWHSHF Lucas must be on voice rest bc he wasnt saying anything but HE WAS SO CUTE AND IM DYING BC HE TOUCHED ME. (also i became like ridiculously starstruck and forgot that i wanted to tell him how much his acting adds to the lyrics and the character and how he is so much more sympathetic because he genuinely loves natasha and just doesn't demonstrate that in a good way, i will also. ever forgive myself for that) there was a little girl next to me at the stage door and the actresses were all being so encouraging to her. they were like "if you want to be an actress DO IT, I was right where you were once and now im here. you have it in you, just dont ever give up." and i wanted to cry bc OH JESUS THEY ARE SUCH GOOD PEOPLE. Paul Pinto is THE MOST™. i absolutely love it even after the show he had SO much energy. i was like 😮 how. Nick Choksi is adorable and wears so much eyeliner and he also talked to the little girl next to me about how excited he would be to see her name up on a marquee one day and i cried. I have no idea what I said to him bc again i was starstruck. My best friend died a little bc she loves him and i think it was honestly one of the best moments of her life. Amber, Oak, and Denee didnt come out (sobs) but APPARENTLY Renee Elise Goldsberry was there to congratulate Oak and support him and i was to cry again. OK DAY TWO STAGE DOOR: * this was a scary night for me * i got into a fight with a man because he was being exceptionally rude to the actors and i called him out on it and he started screaming at me and then he started pushing this other lady right when Shoba was signing in front of us and she looked so scared and i feel so fucking bad * also his daughter was obviously a huge fan of the show and was so excited to see the cast and when he got kicked out she was sobbing and i will maybe never forgive myself for ruining this girls night on broadway but someone needed to say something. he was straight up making fun of the cast as they were three feet away from him and the final straw for me was when he said "some one needs to go in there and grab that blond bitch by the hair and drag her out here. if no one else will ill do it" and so i turned around and said "excuse me sir would you mind turning down the vulgarity. it's incredibly disrespectful" and he said some of the meanest things i have ever heard from another person (called me a bitch, told me i would always be alone, tried to intimidate me by saying he was three times my age... i was just like that says more about you than it does about me man) any way the security guy (idk his name but i love him) got him to leave and then once he was gone i started crying bc everyone around me was patting me on the back trying to make me feel better and that makes me cry apparently. * SO THEN ANGLE MAN MCSECURITY came over and tried to cheer me up as did many other people which really only made it worse but everyone was being so kind and trying to distract me and finally i said "FUCK IT I CANT BE CRYING WHEN LUCAS STEELE COMES OUT" and everyone laughed and i started to stop crying. OK SO WHEN LUCAS CAME OUT AND GOT TO ME ANGLE SECURITY MAN SAID "lucas just so you know this girl has had a really hard time just now. a man was being very confrontational with her in the crowd, (wait for it) can she have a hug" and lucas stared into my eyes (LMAO I AM NATASHA) and said (his voice was so raspy and he was definitely not supposed to be speaking) "im so sorry but if i hug you i have to hug everyone, im so sorry that you had an altercation. here i can do this" AND HE STARTED RUBBING MY HAND IN CIRCLES AND I ABOUT DIED and i said "its ok i totally understand, you are actually fantastic (AND I LOVE YOU, actually no i didnt say that) can i have a picture?" and he said yes (its so bad) and then went down the line more BUT HOLY FUCK * and THEN i asked the totally innocuous question to angle security man, out if curiosity not wanting to do it myself, "not to sound presumptuous or anything but how is it that people grt to go back stage at things like this?" and he said friends or family and i said ok, makes sense i was just curious. THEN HE CAME BACK 3 MINUTES LATER AND SAID "i just wanted to let you know i tried to get you back stage, my friend Summaya is in the cast would have taken you but she already left. i hope thats ok." and i just kind of stared at him bc I WASNT ASKING TO GO BACK MYSELF IT WAS A FOR FUTURE REFERENCE THING and i said "no no of course i totally understand dont worry about it" * GUESS WHAT ELSE HAPPEND BRITTAN ASHFORD WAS THERE AND WHEN SHE CAME OUT i started pointing and talking incoherently and he said, "do you want Brittan's autograph?" and i just kind of nodded and he BROUGHT HER OVER TO ME * Nicholas Belton didnt come out the stage door but he apparently was meeting up with Cathryn and a bunch of the other cast after the show bc i saw him as i was walking to my uber and i just kind if stalked him a little bit bc OMG and i love that they all go out together after the show * Anthony Ramos and Jasmine Cephas Jones were at the show to see Oak and they went in the stage door and Jasmine waved right to me after she saw me waving at her. they showed up separately and i was like OMG ARE THEY OK I HOPE THEYRE OK... but its all good * and Alex Gibbson told me that he was proud of me for having read War and Peace because his copy was collecting dust in the attic somewhere and i laughed * and BRAD GIOVANINE REMEMVERD ME at the sage door he said "hey! you were here last night werent you?" and i said "YEAH!" and he said "yes, i thought i recognized you in the audience! thank you so much for coming back" and i said "I wouldnt have missed it, thank you for telling this story" and that was a definite highlight OK SO THE REASON THAT THIS SHOW IS MAGIC: so the main message of war and peace is that people are good, and redemption, for even the most base of people, is not only possible it is probable because when you break it down we are all imbued with humanity which can triumph when/if we let it. the show doesnt necessarily show that redemptive possibility because it is the part of the story where literally everyone is at their worst. BUT the acting and intention behind the blocking and the small things show that even the very worst of characters (cough anatole, cough helene, cough dolokohv), that we really shouldnt sympathize with based on their actions, are portrayed in such a way that it is IMPOSSIBLE to not see them as, at their root, good. it is impossible to not see their humanity. their weaknesses are on full display, but those weaknesses are merely weakness. they are not evil, they are a result of circumstance and upbringing. not to mention the characters we are supposed to love... they are so easy to forgive its ridiculous in conclusion: Natasha, Pierre, and The Great Comet of 1812 is the bets musical i have ever seen. I love the cast with all of my heart because of their talent and kindness, I will NEVER forget the magic that was tonight. i CANNOT believe that this show is closing. I will never see anything like it ever again and its a travesty. I hope one day there is a revival that is this good... i have hope 🙏🏻.

[xoxo-anxciousanum]

Hey guys, so this is my third time writing this post! It never saved the first time for some reason and the second time my battery died, so here i am on my laptop! you can smell the determination right ahahahaha? 

Any who, I have finally left high school where i have been for the past six years of my life! On the Friday the 28th of April 2017, I finally said goodbye bishessss wee out! So im just going to use this post to recap on my fantastic, wild, journey through the years of high school at St Andrews Academy.

So where do I start! Well first and second year was a nightmare because I had came to a brand new school from where my old primary school friends went. Therefore i had ZERO  friends to keep me sane! im not going to ,ie but i definitely was bullied for at least the first three years of high school. It was a nightmare, because it didn't help that i had facial hair and a heavy mono brow! Maybe im just being a bit hard on myself but i definitely struggled, there was nights were all i cared about was peoples opinions and i didn't want to go in some days because i couldn't bare it! Finally in third year i felt a bit more comfortable cause we were finally put in set classes so my English class was great!  We had such a great time, and i met a lot of lovely girls.Fourth year was the first year that i was going to experience exams and i was sady still tormented by stupid pathetic bitchess that needed to get over themselves get a grip and move on! anways, moving onto the rollercoaster of a year- welcome to the year of mofo Highersssss!!! This is when shit got reallllllll. i finally had the confidence and I was loving lifeee but it was not really a year to realx with friends and chill. i HAD TO WORK WORK WORK WORK WORK WORK (In the humble word of rihannaaaa) Legit, was madness, but alhumdullilah, i made it in the end as i got my results in- 3As in Eglish, Biology and Geography and B in Chemsitry! Unfortunately Maths was a bit of a fail, but thnakfully i recived an offer from the uni so long as i achieved a B in Maths in sixth year as well as a nat 5 A in Physics! Inshallah i will acheive tht!!!!!!  I honestly learned a lot in that year as  i lso juggled out of school work through Ye where i strengthened bonds with the best peope ive met in my life. Genuinly learned sooooo many things about my self in that year- i am confident, i dont care what others think, and i can get whatever i want as long as i put my mind to it and not be tooo anxcious and worried. Anwhoooo i was defos eqipped for the last year of my high school life! I have never had such fun and made the msot incredible memories ever!!! i genuinly loved every minute becasue it was such a reaxed year, the amount of times i patched school and went on an adventure was crazy man ahahahah! incoming the rebellious anum husain ahahahahaha! made the most unforgettable memories that i will cherish forever, cant belive it all over! I still remember the day in primary when i was like how am i going to survive high school-with al the exams and changing classes every 50 minss! yet here i am! bishhhhhh we madeee itttttt yasssssssssssssssss.

Moving on, i have actually realised how much i love my cousins man. I genuinly dont know where id be without them. They amke my life so special and fun. Honestly if someone was to see our chats man, we’d be locked up ahahahahah! We legit talk about everything and anything, without judging each other. I love taht we can take the piss out of each other but stilll be the best of galsss man, we love winding up haiqa especially man its toooo funny! we are baesss for life and i truly mena it. The small things mean soo much to me, like going for walks randomly, going to morrions and buying crap loads of sweets then end up at tesco and cryinngg that we live in the most jakiest town ever!!!! I am certain that we will hare this beautiful journey together, through uni-eating lunch together and chillling in the sun. Man i cant wait!!!! im such a cheeeeeeesy gal man cause i cant wait to do couplyyy things when we get marruied man. like nandos, going bowing, movie nights etc it will be soooooooo amazing. Actaully never met anyone that has the same bond as us. Well we know two girls that think they do when i reality they see eachother like twice a year , so stfu. ahahahahahahahha im such a savage, but its true, we have such a unique bond, most people dont see their cousins, we are sisters!!!! we can annoy each other but we cant live without eachother! I love them milllllllllllllliiiiiiiooooooooonnnnnnnnssssssssssssss!!!!!!!!!!!

Onto my amazing sisters! Where do i start, wel with one of them its a work in progress, its hard when she used to be mean to u and she chews loudly do u know, i have a lot of pettty ahtes so it made it worse, but its pending man fs. But for NAILAbae, she is a gemmmm! A diamond, we have been going out on trips to Glasgow since i was 6! we still carry this tradition on till now and im 18! whooooohoooooo, she is actualy the msot funniest person ever! she is sooo cute and i love her to bits! we have sooo much in common, we could literally chat for hours, she has helped me so much in school its unreal.SHE IS MY TRUE ROLE MODEL! i have always looked up to her from a young age, We tak about everything together, makeup, fashion,making fun of peple, blair and serena goals af!!!! im obvsss blair!!! Moving on to IMMYFATT!!! She is my fooood gal. we could literally go out and eat a samosa salad and get our eyebrows done, our insanely crazy eyebrows!! That would be our day out, but what make it fun, is the car journey nd the laughs we have together, before she waas married we used to always do duets in the car and record ourselves!! hahahahah we loved IF I WERE A BOY!!! Bey was my fav! we still sing now in the car and its the best! I love them milllions! I cant even begin to tell you how much i love my sis n law. Its so mad how she just appeared in my life and i love her millions.she is sooooo funny, cute and giry! She lets me borrow any of her make up which i think is sooooo cute man! she is such a princesss its amazing!!! Dont even get me started on my beautiful nephews and nieces!!!! i will love them allll forver! cant wait till i get my car and can take them out to the park!!! im such a cheeeesy gal but i love my fam! Ridah i such a smart coookie i cant wait till she takes over the world with her amazing presence! Zarish is an actual real life dolll its so funny she so cute and timid! i love her millions, the two boys AR and Eesa are just soooooo beaut!!! i love them with all my heart. I love that AR calls me ANNNNAAAAAAA. he is my babe! Eesa is changing everyday and i love him even more, cant wait till he grows up.

Roll on the next amazing years of my life!!!!! Roll on june 2017 (no longer in me mums car)Roll on september 2017!!! HWG WHOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO