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clefairymuke · 4 years ago

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regrets | chapter nine

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pairings: levi ackerman x reader

themes: enemies to lovers, slowburn, angst, fluff, smut

tw: violence / explicit sexual content

word count: 2006

When you woke up, the sky was so dim you almost would've said it was still night. The softest of light poured into the room and lit the shelves, the sheets, and the outline of Levi's face elegantly. Your vision danced around the room a bit, still dazed. Your hair surrounded you in a mess of tangles. Your eyes grew heavier the more you forced them open. Sleep still partially blinded you, leaving the room a bit fuzzy-looking -- but you could tell he was still awake. "Levi?" you croaked out softly, your voice still dressed in fatigue. "How long have I been asleep?" You tried to lift your head, but the pillow pulled it gently back down.

"Not long enough. A few hours," he replied quietly, as you noticed a teapot and cup on the table next to the both of you, still fuzzy -- maybe blue? Your eyes tried to flutter back shut, but you held them open a bit longer.

"I don't sleep much," you told him, your consciousness half gone. "I have nightmares." You let your eyes shut this time, still listening for his reply.

"You haven't seemed to have them tonight," he answered. You heard the teacup clink against the pot, then the sound of him sipping it slowly.

"No, not tonight. Not sure why." With that, you began to drift, his words molding into your dreamworld until you were entirely submerged.

---

Hange squealed with joy as you took another step, one hand holding on to Jean's shoulder and the other on Connie's. "You'll be back in training within two weeks, tops! You've healed excellently!"

You stopped for a split second, your grip tightening a bit on your friends' shoulders as you processed what she just said. "Two more weeks? I thought I just finished the two weeks. I'm supposed to be fine now." You groaned, leaning on Jean a bit.

"Two weeks to heal. We can't have you back in combat training tomorrow. That would be absurd," Hange said innocently, excitement still dripping from their voice. "But this is progress! If we keep doing this kind of thing everyday you'll be just fine. You'll be walking on your own in a week!" Connie ruffled your hair a bit, and you tried to shake it back into place.

"Can I sit down now?" you asked, unable to hide the disappointment in your voice. You used your friends for support until you could plop defeatedly into one of the chairs against the wall. The two of them sat next to you, Jean's arm propped up behind your back and Connie's behind his head. You ran one hand through your hair, smoothing it from Connie's abuse, while the other gripped the arm of the wooden chair. "Can I at least sleep in my own bed?" you requested, smiling halfheartedly at Hange.

They frowned a bit, like they felt bad. "I don't think that would be wise. Were there an accident, it would be dangerous for it to happen when no one was in the barracks. It's best if you stay there; it won't be too much longer." You let your head fall back onto Jean's arm and let out a deep sigh.

After a while longer, Jean carried you back to your infirmary room, complaining about your weight for at least eight minutes of the ten-minute walk. The sky was orange and pink as the sun began its trek downward; it was beautiful, but it reminded you of the dark and lonely night ahead. Two more weeks felt like years.

As he laid you down, you huffed. "I have one hell of a bone to pick with you, Jean Kirstein. I should have let the titan eat your scrawny ass," you told him, smacking his arm lightly. "I take care of the damsel in distress, and I get a broken leg out of it. It's fucked up."

He snorted, a grin running across his lips. "Yeah, I hear you." He rubbed the side of your shoulder gently. "You need me to stay tonight, or are you okay?"

"I'm good, Jean. Levi actually stayed with me last night," you said, yawning. You were confused when his eyebrows fell together and his mouth drew up in disgust.

"Is this an Eren situation? With Captain Levi? That's so gross. He's, like, old." You watched him hold back laughter.

You gagged jokingly, utterly confused on how he came to that conclusion. "Dude, no. What the fuck? He just helped me get to the bathroom. Don't be weird." You almost started to laugh with him. "And I don't even think he's much older than us, dumbass."

"Seriously, though, spending the night with Captain Levi? You can't expect me to believe nothing's going on there. Since when does he --"

"Since when do I what, Kirstein?" Levi's voice came from the doorway, a teacup and pot in either of his hands. "Do you always come up with such repulsive theories, or is this a joke?" With his voice unchanging, you were unsure of if he was joking or genuinely angry. When it's Levi, it's often safer to assume anger.

"I was just kidding, sir," Jean replied, small laughs still hidden behind his tongue. "But I was wondering -- since when are you infirmary security?" You chuckled under your breath, putting your arms under your head and getting comfortable. Jean's hand still rested on your shoulder.

"Since I found her alone last night on her ass in the hallway, literally dragging herself to the restroom. It was an embarrassing show." You frowned, imagining how you must've looked in front of him. Jean looked back at you mockingly, eyes wide and a smile covering his face. You groaned as you watched Jean improvise a replay of the event in his head, a chuckle bubbling up from his throat. "I carried her the rest of the way and back, and when we got here, I elected to stay with her since no one else was for her safety. It would be inconvenient for her leg to be injured again." Levi started inside, getting his tea set up on the table dividing the bed and the wooden chair. "I don't really sleep, anyway. I have nothing better to do."

"I would've stayed, if you didn't kick me out," Jean said to you, the corners of his lips pulling down minutely.

"You can't sleep in a chair every night for a month. You'll be in here with a bad back in no time," you replied. He nodded, his lips creeping back up into a grin.

"Get to sleep, okay? Lots to do tomorrow." He leaned down and kissed your forehead before turning and walking towards the door.

"Night, Jean. See you tomorrow," you called as you saw him shut the door behind him. you looked over at Levi, pouring a fresh cup of tea. "You're here early tonight." You watched him pick up the cup by the rim and swirl it around a bit before lifting it to his pursed lips.

"Moving my things from my suite last night was a pain. I preferred to just have a seat and not have to run any errands. I thought Jean wasn't your boyfriend? Your social life is a bit confusing, you know," he sipped from his cup again, holding eye contact with you and intently waiting for your answer. When you laughed, one of his eyebrows raised.

"Yeah, Jean definitely isn't my boyfriend. We're just close. If you keep making assumptions like that, you'll have to run me to the bathroom so I can puke." You watched one corner of his mouth turn up ever so slightly. Was this his version of a laugh? "And it was super fucked up to use the word "repulsive," you know. I plan to tell my therapist that you impacted my self esteem." You didn't see a change in his strange little micro-smile. It felt nice to see some expression in his face.

"I guess I wouldn't use the word repulsive," he told you. "I'm trying to think of a better word -- disgusting?"

"Fuck off," you snorted, giggling.

Levi wasn't the most talkative person you knew by any means, but you managed to get a bit more conversation out of him before you drifted slowly off to sleep.

Again, you weren't met with nightmares. Nor were you the two nights that followed, as long as he sat quietly at your bedside. On the fifth night, you noticed a second teacup in his hand as he entered the room. It was a small gesture, but it made you smile. Levi had moved the table so it sat directly between the two of you. He sat across from you as he poured the tea, careful not to spill a drop. You sipped it lightly, finally having enough strength to sit straight up in your bed without any pain. The two of you chatted briefly before returning to the comfortable silence you had started to grow accustomed to. These nights with Levi were strange, of course, but they were also peaceful. Loneliness was your worst enemy, especially as you stared at the ceiling in the dark infirmary room by yourself all those nights. He, at the very least, curbed that terrible feeling.

You lifted the cup to your lips yet again and frowned as you looked down to find it empty. "I'm all out," you said, reaching for the pot. He had the same thought, and your hands brushed momentarily as your eyes met. You pulled back, somewhat quickly, and allowed him to pour you another.

"You aren't nearly as insufferable as you were a few weeks ago," he commented bluntly as he set the pot back on the table. You chuckled, growing used to his dryness, causing that small upturn of one corner of his lip to return.

"Neither are you, Levi. Still insufferable, but not nearly so," you replied, leaning forward and resting your chin on one of your hands.

"I still don't appreciate your disrespect," he said. You rolled your eyes half-heartedly.

"It would be weird to call you Captain while we're having tea. You can be casual once in a while, you know." You grinned into the teacup as you saw him raise an eyebrow. You knew it didn't warrant a reply.

Back to the silence. The two of you sat there quietly for a bit, finishing your tea. You started to begin the process of turning to lay down and get comfortable, but Levi's calm voice interrupted you. "You were half asleep the other night; I'm not sure if you remember. You told me you usually have nightmares, and you don't sleep much."

You shrugged, nodding your head. "Yeah, that's true. It's been that way for a few years now. You're right though, I don't remember." You felt a bit of blood retreat to your cheeks, embarrassment flooding you.

"You also said you didn't have them that first night, and you've slept well each night I've been here. They must not be too bad," he said, his voice almost hinting at inquisitive.

You furrowed your brow, recounting the dreams of the previous four nights. "No, no, they're usually awful. I wake up in the night pretty often, if I can get to sleep in the first place. It's strange, I haven't had any since you started sitting with me." You thought about that for a moment, then smiled. "Maybe they're afraid of humanity's strongest," you teased, a yawn erupting from your lips.

You watched his little grin again. "Perhaps they are."

You turned over and burrowed under the thin blanket that adorned you. You nuzzled your head tightly into your pillow and allowed your eyes to shut, breathing out in comfort. You opened one eye ever so slightly, seeing Levi looking at you absentmindedly. His teacup hung gracefully from his fingers. He took a sip from it before setting it down quietly, then pushed the table back into its place.

"Goodnight, Levi," you said, not expecting an answer. You shut your eye again and started to feel yourself drift. As everything faded to black, you heard him reply.

"Goodnight."

#levi attack on titan #levi x reader #levi ackerman #aot fanfiction #AoT #aot x reader #attack on titan #snk #snk x reader #slowburn #enemies to lovers

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may-b-a-u-shewritestoo · 4 years ago

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Lady in Gold

It’s just a date at the Neue Galerie. That’s all it is, right?

Rating: M

Word count; 3,062

Warning/Includes: fluffy fluff, exhibitionism, slight choking, fingering, unprotected sex, slight breeding kink if you squint I guess?!

A satin tea dress, a mellow golden. It flowed to just below your knees, and it had been paired with nude block sandals. A simple yet elegant jewelled clip held a side of your hair back and you felt.. beautiful. This date had been planned for a while, he had said to meet him on the corner of 5th and 86th Street; you would look out for him, he would be in a brown suit. The night was young, the sun just beginning to set over the skyline. You’d wonder if he would be there earlier than you, or if he was barely going to come at all. These must be normal nerves, the churning feeling flowing around your stomach; it was just a date.

Clement and peaceful, the last streams of daylight laid upon your skin as you leant against a tree outside the building. Skimming your eyes against the array of people departing and arriving at the gallery; they finally landed on the tall figure ambling towards you. A soft smile, reflective aviator glasses and the brown suit. It was him. His own masterpiece, he gave a small wave as he grew closer. The faint scents of coconut, coffee and cologne overwhelmed your senses as you managed to stutter out a soft ‘Hi Matthew’.

‘Y/N hey! I’m glad you found this place okay, sometimes people end up on the wrong end of the mile.’ he exclaimed, waving behind him at the never ending street.

‘I’m that person, what should’ve been a 15 minute walk turned out a hell of a lot longer.’ you giggled out.

‘Well hey, we made it in time for the private slot, should we head inside?’ you nodded, and intertwined your arm around the one he held out for you. There was a way that he held you tightly against his side that felt as though you were fragile and he didn’t want you to fall and break. As he mentioned to one of the guards inside you were here for a private viewing, you couldn’t help but stare up at him with veneration. A king couldn’t hold the grace and charm he could.

You’d been meandering for a while, stopping to talk about Werkstätte accessories and admiring the vintage fashion. You were excited to get to the portraits. A favourite of yours was on display, Klimt’s portrait of Adele Bloch-Bauer. Filled to the brim with facts and knowledge on his art, there was a passion in your eyes as you tugged his arm towards the exhibition you’d been waiting for. Placing your clutch bag on a nearby seat you almost skipped up to the portrait.

‘Wow,’ you breathed out, ‘it’s even more beautiful than I imagined. The gold just hits different when it’s not on a phone screen huh.’

He stood behind you a few steps, observing and listening to your spirited words and facts. The way you vehemently expressed yourself started to get into his bloodstream, every time you said something new, turned to look back at him; goosebumps arose across his forearms and the back of his neck. He sauntered quietly and slowly closer to you, gently placing a hand on each of your hips. Inhaling abruptly, you didn’t stop exuding truths about the painting before you.

[[MORE]]

‘The painting was handed down to Adeles family members, but the Nazis stole it in 1941. After quite a long journey through multiple agencies, it was bought in 2006 and displayed. I’m literally speechless that it’s in front of me - ah!’ Matthew had pulled your hair to one side as you were speaking, slowly leaving open mouthed kisses to your exposed neck. His grip had tightened on your hips, subsequently beginning to run one hand up your body; the fingers coming up to grip your chin and turning your head to look back at him.

‘Do you know how beautiful you sound?’ he muttered, eyes travelling from your glossed lips up to meet yours. Maybe two centimetres between each set of lips and breath fanning against each other had changed the mood immediately. ‘It, uh, it really is my favourite piece. I could stay here and look at it - all- all night.’ Stumbling over your words, you kept your gaze on Matthew, as he lowered his hand a little; the slender yet gentle fingers contradicting themselves by squeezing the sides of your throat slightly.

‘I could say the same thing about you. This pretty dress, on such a pretty girl. I know which lady in gold I’d rather stare at.’ Smiling gently, he pulled you closer and pressed his lips against yours, breathing getting deeper when you whimper against his mouth.

Reaching your arm behind you to hold the back of his head, his other arm held you flush against him. It wasn’t dirty, it wasn’t rough; but it was a higher level of passionate that you wouldn’t usually show in such a public area. You wondered if there was a subtle message in Matthew reserving the museum for a private tour, instead of the romantic gesture it had seemed to be.

‘Was this your plan the whole time? To win me over with my favourite art and fuck me in the middle of the gallery?’ you breathed out, pushing back into him and curving your hips upwards into his. The satin of your dress was thin enough to feel the coarseness of his trousers and the cool metal of the belt holding them up. Matthew’s breath hitched beside your ear and he bit down on your lobe. Quickly clutching at your hips again, he ground his hips down into you and mustered out a small grunt at the contact. ‘I bet you’d like that huh? Already pushing up against me, needy little thing.’

The quiet moan that left your lips woke you up out of the sudden delirium you had fallen into, remembering where you were. ‘We’ll get into trouble.’ Matthew let out a condescending chuckle into your ear, a hand beginning to ruche the fabric upwards at the front of your dress. ‘Your body tells me you aren’t at all that worried, y/n. I bet you won’t feel as worried once I bring my fingers a little higher hm?’ He read your body language like a book. You were leaning into him, your hips bucking and following his hands. You were completely under his spell, entranced by the gentle but somehow rough feel of his fingers growing closer and closer to where you wanted him. Until he pulled them away.

‘No fuck please-‘ whining, you turned around to see why the sudden halt on his movements. He’d walked a few steps backward to the leather spectator couch in the middle of the room, sat down with legs spread; watching to see if you’d get the hint. ‘Come and sit on my lap baby. I want you to be comfortable when you’re talking.’ He smirked, knowing full well his actions were going to cause your brain to falter and words to fade away. Slowly walking towards him, you lifted your dress slightly to be able to straddle yourself across his lap; frowning when he spoke a stern, ‘no.’ He wiggled his finger in a circle, indicating he wanted you to face away from him.

Two could play at this teasing game.

Spinning around gently, you still lifted your dress before sitting down on him, giving him a slight peek of the white lace garments underneath. Judging by the way he pulled your hips down hard against him, you knew he saw the underwear. Leaning your back against his chest, he flopped his chin against your shoulder and gave a sweet peck on your cheek. All of these cute gestures couldn’t foreshadow the sheer vulgarity of what he was about to do; if there had been anyone in the room with you, they would’ve thought you two were adorable. He leant back, pulling you with him and the front of your dress up to mid-thigh. Trailing his fingers underneath the thin, yellow material, he ran his middle digit along your slit, feeling the damp patch that had formed on the even thinner lace. ‘I knew it. Filthy little slut. Was it me or Klimt who did this huh?’ he chuckled, gripping your hip when you tried to push against his finger. All you could let out was pathetic whines, and attempt to manoeuvre his finger inside you.

‘Tell me what you want and I’ll give it to you sweetheart. You were spitting out facts a minute ago, where have all your words gone?’ he said, the condescending tone not helping your situation at all. ‘Please, I need, fuck, I need your fingers Matthew please.’ you begged, head falling back into his shoulder and hands gripping his arm that was around your waist. ‘Wow, you managed to ask so nicely too. Good girl.’ The sudden dominance he portrayed had you completely at his mercy, feeling nothing but a dull throbbing inside that you knew he could provoke. Stroking up and down your lips slightly to gather up your essence, he hooked his middle finger inside you so deep, so harshly you mewled out loudly; Matthew promptly covering your mouth and smiling into your hair. He nudged his index finger into you, curling the two together up against the spot that made your legs tighten around his wrist. He pulled them back open again and held them in that position, trusting you to be quiet. He wasn’t messing around; quick to thrust and curve his fingers upwards until your thighs began to shake against his arm. ‘Shit Matthew, i’m close already, please.’ you tried unsuccessfully to say it quietly, but the feeling he brought you came on so intensely you felt he needed warning. ‘Fuck yes, you’re so good to me. Letting me play with your pretty cunt right here in the open. Are you gonna come for me? I want you to fucking break baby. Come.’ He sped up his fingers, the wiggle of his fingertips against the spot, mixed with his palm grinding against your clit; the uncivilised words he growled into your ear had you gone. The hand returned to your mouth as you moaned and whimpered too loudly, bucking against his fingers, arching your back and gripping your fingernails into his legs as you came.

Matthew bit his lip and smiled into your neck as he drew out your orgasm, cock at its hardest as he felt your cunt tightening sporadically around his fingers. He needed you here and now. This beautiful woman spread across his lap, desperate and needy under his touch. How tight you got when you released onto his hand, the way you breathed out his name. If he could take you like that in this room, he’ll take you on his cock now too. Withdrawing his fingers from you and abruptly pushing them into you mouth, he pushed your hips forward a little so he could pull himself out of his trousers. You’d barely recovered from the intensity of the orgasm when you tasted yourself on your tongue, moaning around his fingers and curling your tongue around the tips. ‘Gonna take you right here baby, can’t wait anymore. Can you lift your dress a little higher for me?’ Trembling out a moan, you bunched your dress up around your hips, letting the spare material fall to the front so as not to expose yourself too much, which seemed ridiculous given the previous activity. ‘That’s it pretty girl. Sit yourself down on me, I want you to take as much as you can okay?’ the condescension had left his voice this time, his voice had become lower and exuded urgency.

Matthew lifted up your hips whilst you balanced your hands on his knees, bringing your legs together in between his. He grasped the base of his cock, pulling the lace to the side before coating himself in you. Pressing against your hole, wanting you to do the rest. You gasped as you glided down onto him, the lips parting and taking him in entirely. He was so thick and hard, you had to wiggle your hips side to side to fit him inside. ‘Shit, you’re so fucking big Matthew. Can’t take it all.’ He was just past halfway and already you felt so full. Matthew’s eyes had hooded and glazed over watching your pretty pussy taking him in, he ran a hand over your exposed cheek and gripped it tightly, pulling you down further.

‘Yes you fucking can, you can and you will. I know you can do it baby. Make me feel good, that’s it.’ You cried softly as he had you bear down completely on him. He was fully inside you, pushing against your cervix. It felt so good even just sitting still on him, let alone the pleasure it brought when you pulled up and back down again. His hands pushed and pulled you back and forth slowly and gently onto him, hitting special parts of you with every thrust. ‘Matthew please, please I just-‘ ‘Please what baby? Fuck-‘ ‘I just want you to fuck me properly please.’

He purred out a deep moan and laid back against the couch, you laid flat upon his chest again. He spread his legs a little more to give him leeway to fuck up into you easier, the pace at an allegro. Rolling his eyes back and biting his lip, he couldn’t get over the entire position you were both in. This wasn’t discreet anymore; no one could see where the two of your bodies met, but he was fucking up into you so hard, one arm wrapped tightly around your stomach, your head against his shoulder with the other hand covering your mouth. It was obvious this man was fucking this woman in the middle of an exhibition, in a gallery in New York. ‘God you feel so fucking tight around me, I can’t hold on much longer. You close for me?’ He sputtered out into your ear, looking at your face to see you nodding and eyes squeezed shut in pleasure. ‘Want you to rub that pretty clit for me, make yourself come on my cock. Use me, I’m all yours baby.’ he said through gritted teeth, growing closer and closer to just letting go. He wanted to feel those spasms around his cock before he did though. You held onto the hand over your mouth, and used your other hand to rub quick and hard circles on your clit, teetering on the edge. Tears began to line the brim of your eyes, everything becoming super overwhelming. Being fucked in front of your favourite painting, out in public, by the sexiest man you’d ever seen and felt, the strength of how he held onto you, pushed into you had you right there.

‘You’re right there baby, I can feel it. Let it fucking go for me, good girl, that’s it.’ The deep, raspy voice in your ear was all you needed to burst out in pleasure. You rubbed faster, matching his thrusts just as your body shuddered against his, your toes curling in the heels, your moans being muffled by his hand. ‘Fuck baby, that’s it, what a good fucking girl coming on my cock like this, you’re gonna make me fucking explode baby.’ Matthew grunted into your ear, bucking up harder but sloppily as he reached his peak. You pulled his hand away and turned to meet his eyes; his pupils dilated beyond belief, hair messy where you’d tugged on it before, lips swollen where he’d bitten them so hard trying to keep quiet. God he was so hot. ‘Come inside me Matthew, please. Come inside me, I’m yours to fill please, fuck I need to feel you like that please.’

Quiet but desperate moans and cries left his mouth once you begged him for his come, his hand gripping your face as he brought your lips to his, silencing himself as he spilled inside you. He hadn’t come this much in a while, but the way you told him you needed it brought it out of him. Your lips were pressed together so hard, more of a muzzle than a kiss. The feeling of him slightly spilling out of you made you involuntarily clench tighter, maybe a natural instinct to want to keep him where he belongs. Matthew slumped back, his head dropping onto the black leather. ‘Let’s hope this stays in hm?’ after a few minutes absorbing what you’d just done, you spoke quietly, slowly going to stand up off of him. Smiling lazily, he let out a hiss when his cock slid out of you, falling onto his stomach, still slick with the mixture of you both. Adjusting your underwear and smoothing out your dress, you watched as he tucked himself away, sitting himself up properly and running his hands through his hair. He grabbed your hands and pulled you to stand between his legs, eyes shining with love and admiration as he looked up at you. ‘You really are so beautiful, y/n. Nothing in this gallery compares to you.’ Matthew whispered, stroking his thumbs out across your hands. You blushed and lost eye contact for a second, gazing at the artwork sprawled across each wall.

‘Thank you. I think one thing could make me a lot more beautiful though.’ You smiled and glanced towards your bag. Matthew imitated your smirk and grabbed it, pulling out the two sets of rings inside. The two of you slotting them back where they belonged on each other’s hands, you kept a tight grip on Matthew’s hand as he stood up in front of you. Twiddling with the wedding rings on your finger, you looked up at him beaming. ‘Much better actually, Mrs Gubler. Let’s go grab something to eat?’ he held out his arm the same way he did walking you in, except this time it was mostly to aid you in walking because you were staggering a little.

As you passed the guard who’d let you both in, Matthew turned back towards him. ‘Thank you for helping us out tonight. Can officially say we crossed a few things off our date night list.’

Slapping his arm, you dragged him away blushing profusely. It left you thinking; What would the next date night entail?

#mgg smut #matthewgraygubler #mgg #smut

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bee-cried · 3 years ago

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Blues Daydream I had recurringly over the past few days.

I've written some of the daydream down but I never really put together a coherent story, so I'm just retelling it from memory mostly. (Content warning for the mention of sex.)

It starts of with them at like ...13 (?) The RRB are neutral and have befriended the ppg. Bubbles has a crush on Boomer (she starts crushing on him when she's like... 8)

There's a porch swing in this really pretty picnic park that Bubbles likes to visit a lot. It's surrounded by lots of bushes and flowers. She usually sits there by herself until Boomer starts showing up. He usually joins her to show her the songs he's learned on his acoustic guitar (he doesn't have a special musical talent but i love the fanon idea of Boomer being a music fanatic. Its very fitting, so I always imagine that he naturally just ends up gravitating towards music). They'll stay there for hours (especially during the summer) singing songs they know or just talking.

He gets really comfortable with Bubbles and they look forward to seeing one another.

And this scene stuck out to me in my head specifically...

***

Boomer: "Bubbles, I have to tell you something. "

Boomer: *Kisses her on the cheek.*

Bubbles and Boomer: ...

Bubbles: "What is it that you have to tell me?"

Boomer: *laughs, blushing* "I only said that as a cover up to kiss you."

Bubbles: "Oh! Well I have to tell you something too then..."

Bubbles: *Kisses him*

Boomer: *surprised* " You just… kissed me on the lips…"

Bubbles: "I know…" :) "DON'T TELL THE PROFESSOR." (She panics)

Boomer: *Blushing and smug* "I won't. "

They both giggle. He strums his guitar.

***

Later in the daydream he asks her on a date. She tells the Professor, because she's over joyed but unfortunately, the professor doesnt approve because Boomer is a villain and he doesn't want Bubbles to date a "punk who'll just break her heart."

Bubbles is really upset (she cry's about it) and she ends up trying to sneak out. She tells Buttercup who doesn't really care (until Bubbles involves allowance money.) to cover for her. Later, Bubbles tells Kim, Mary and Robin and they agree to help her sneak out for her first date, saying they'll let her cover by telling the professor she's at a sleepover with Robin.

There's a scene I imagine where all the girls put together money to buy a really pretty spaghetti strapped dress that comes with a white, light material-like shawl that's also like a jacket (i hope you understand what i mean lol.) Anyway, it's really gorgeous and they sneak it in. Kim explains to Bubbles this technique she read in a magazine. She tells Bubbles when Boomer looks at her to untie the shawl "like this" and only wear the dress part.

Bubbles sneaks out on the date with Boomer. They go to like some fun kids place with an indoor trampoline and an arcadia.

***

The night was a little breezy but that was alright since Bubbles figured most of the night would be spent indoors. She saw the arcadia lights come into place and began to steer down. As she landed she spotted Boomer in the usual Hollister shirt and jeans- well actually those jeans looked sort of new. Maybe they were.

He turned to her and smiled at her appearance. She suddenly felt a smidgen bad for having to make him wait so long. If only she didn't have to stay out of sight from the professor. "You actually waited for me?"

"For you, I'd wait until the ends of the universe." He grinned. Her heart pounded.

She blushes as he leads her into the fun place by the hand. Entering her attention was instantly caught by the sounds of the indoor trampoline, ticket counters and all the acrcade games to play. Pop music played over the rush of kids and preteens like her running around.

She smiled in awe, "Wow," she said aloud, eyeing all of her options to play with.

"Pretty cool right?" Boomer said, smiling back at her. She'd felt the heat of their hands at his gentle expression. She'd just realized they were approaching a short line. "It's pretty new. I think it opened last month. I've been eyeing this place for weeks. " he said unable to hide his own excitement.

She blushed and giggled.

Soon they were routed to cubbys to put some of there belongings in.

"Really? Cubbys? It's like we're in fifth grade all over again." Boomer sneers as he sets some items inside. "Well I guess you don't have much to put in but your purse..." His words drifts off as he watches her excitedly undo her shawl, stuffing it into her cubby. "Uh...." He mutters before she grabs his hand.

"Yeah we're sooo old for cubbys now," she agreed grinning. He looks at her, blushing slightly. "Come on!" She exclaims as she tugs him eagerly along towards the trampoline.

***

They go to the trampoline, play games and he even buys her fro yo, they admit to each other that they're their first dates.

***

"So Harry and Julie are definitely dating now." Boomer comments as they watch their friends at the other end of the arcadia play games. Harry looked a little shy but Julie was very open and boisterous.

Bubbles giggled, "yeah, I guess they are." She said as she eyed them. She and Boomer were in the cafe part of the arcadia. They'd picked a table but there were also small booths and a stage at the front.

"I wonder what got them together." Boomer said thoughtfully. "They're so different from each other, I never would have guessed."

Bubbles ate a spoonful of her fro yo, "Maybe. You know what they say, opposites attract." She grinned. He turned back to her, catching her grinning and smiling himself. It was probably they're tenth time they did that tonight. Bubbles didn't know, she wasn't actually counting how many times, she just knew every time it happened it made her heart flutter.

"Y' know..." Boomer started, looking back at his fro yo. "You're the first girl I've ever asked on a date." He said tilting his head a little.

The butterflies in Bubbles stomach made her dizzy, "you're the first boy I've ever dated."

Their eyes met and the sound of the arcadia went fuzzy. She was looking for something else to say but her heart felt like it was caught in her throat-

A high-pitched blare sounded from the speakers, and they both jumped, blushing madly. A tall man took to the stage in front of them.

***

And whaddya know, it's karaoke night.

So Boomer asks her to sing a song on stage with him, even though she's extremely shy. They sing some pop song that's somewhat relevant in the year 2006 (I imagine 'Anything but Ordinary' by Avril but I dunno). It's the first time Boomer hears Bubbles sing and he's really shocked but RUH ROH the professor (and a very guilty looking Buttercup) appear admist the crowd of preteens and ... Yeah, she gets in trouble.

At home, the professor scolds her more (he has good intentions. He really just wants to protect Bubbles.) Bubbles ends up crying because the professor won't 'accept their love'. (There's a scene that plays in my head where Robin shows up and she see's Bubbles crying. Bubbles starts declaring that she doesn't care that Boomer is a Rowdyruff boy she 'loves him'...

***

Bubbles: "And I don't care what anybody else says, he's not that evil! He can't help who his parents are!"

Robin: "I know but... The Professor makes a good point. Are you sure you want to date Boomer?"

Bubbles: *looks at her with a 'really' look through her glossy eyes.*

Robin: "Oh yeah. I forgot. He's been your crush since you were 8 years old. "

***

The next day she goes to talk to him but he's like "uh... Yeah, I actually wanna... Break up." She thinks it's because of how the date ended (Professor was not a happy man when he retrieved Bubbles that night. Also she was wearing a spaghetti-strapped dress. It was too cold outside!) He reassures her its not because of how the date ended, he just... Sort of realized he wasnt really all that into her like he thought he was (?). Also, he has a growing suspension that the Professor hates his guts. And his explanation for why he's suddenly breaking up with Bubbles is ridiculous...

***

"It was more of like... How does Brick put it?" Boomer puts a thoughtful hand up to his chin, "a fleeting moment...?" He smiles in recollection. "Yeah, I think it was just a fleeting moment."

Bubbles looked down at the tile, her voice soft, "But I thought you liked me..."

"I do like you!" He justified, instantly. Then he looked away, a little hesitant, "I just... Just as a friend though." He looks at her, a bit guilt-ridden, "y'know?"

***

...but sadly that's all she can get out of him is that he just doesn't think they'd make a good couple.

Back at home, the professor talks with Bubbles again. He explains to her that he's sorry for berating her. He trusts her to make the right decisions and who she dates shouldn't be decided by him. He encourages Bubbles to date "who her heart says it right for her" but she stuns him by agreeing that Boomer is no good and that she doesn't want to date him.... Or maybe anyone else at the moment.

So going to that porch swing in the middle of the park is never really the same because she's either alone or Boomer is occupying it before she gets there (he's lowkey waiting for her but obviously Bubbles is not in the mood to entertain him anymore.)

Then high school happens and they're in a weird zone of 'we're exes, but are we really exes because we dated when we were 13 and that was only for one day, and we used to be so close before that.' Slowly, they start talking again (they share classes) and Bubbles starts having a crush on him again but then Boomer just HAS to be an oblivious goof and get a girlfriend. Some hot, popular girl from the cheer squad who everyone says looks like Meghan Foxes younger sister, so Bubbles is like "aw poo." But bubbles isn't heartbroken just slightly disappointed.

Well, Bubbles joins the cheer squad and Boomers hot, popular girlfriend who looks like Meghan Foxes younger sister isn't very fond of that. I don't know what Boomers gf name is but she's jealous of Bubbles, as well as, Bubbles relationship with Boomer (the school knows about their middle school fling.) Meghan Fox jr starts shit-talking Bubbles to Boomer or when Boomer is hanging out with her and her friends ("she's literally so weird, the other day I saw her talking to a squirrel." "Does she like *snorts* ever grow up?" "Omg did you see the outfit she put together the other day? She looks and sounds like an overgrown 6th grader") but "surprisingly" Boomer always tries to shut that shit down, and every time Meghan fox jr asks Boomer why he says it's because Bubbles is his friend.

Meanwhile, Bubbles meets this guy accompanying the porch swing one school evening, she goes over and it's Mike. He's been away from Townsville for some time and he's come back because his parents needed to move back awhile and you can sort of see where this is going...

Bubbles and Mike start hanging out a lot. Boomer is taken aback by the relationship Bubbles and Mike has because he starts gaining feelings for Bubbles again. Meghan Fox jr tries to isolate Bubbles from the cheer squad because she suspects her boyfriend is more into Bubbles than her. School dance happens, school dance shenanigans. There's a talent show in there somewhere that Bubbles agrees to perform a song with Boomer for their partners. Valentine's day shits. And other small scenarios... But through all this time Boomer is regaining those feelings he once had for Bubbles and he becomes a lot more jealous.

Meghan Fox Jr's antics become a lot more mean-spirited as well. (Especially during junior year The principal has to step in and Bubbles ends up leaving the squad on her own terms. ) and after that huge occurrence, Boomer is completely turned off by Meghan Fox jr. He breaks up with her.

Unfortunately, he's kicked from his friend group and a lot of rumors are spread about Boomer (most likely by Meghan Fox jr.) Boomer and Meghan Fox jr had a very.... Affectionate(?) relationship...

Basically, when your parents don't really care about what you do in your free time or who you hang out with, and you're young and curious and you have an attractive bf/gf, sex can happen. And sex was what made Boomer and Meghan Fox jr stay together. She uses that after they break up to harass him though.

Uhm, Mike's parents have to move again, so he and Bubbles agree it's best if they broke up before he moves away.

Okay. So back at square one. Bubbles and Boomer are single and they like each other- well really, Boomer likes Bubbles. Bubbles admires him, but now she's over the crush thing lol.

So now Boomer is set on Bubbles. He ends up revisiting that porch swing only to find Bubbles is there. (During his relationship with Meghan Fox jr. he avoids it. Partially because he's in a relationship and also because when Bubbles and Mike are together, they usually occupy the swing.) Again they swing and sit for hours like when they were younger.

He finds his new growing attraction is unbearable in the sense that, there is a constant attraction he has to her that he can't manipulate. He goes through a lot of inner turmoil trying to find out why he likes her even though she's clearly over him, so shouldn't he be the same? He's fighting the attraction, trying to ignore it but the more they hang out the more it grows. And that continues into the summer before they're seniors.

With a lot more free time, they spend more time together but it's usually outings with their friends (unless he meets her in the park on the porch swing). Their bond continues to build but Bubbles is unsure if he likes her, and he's unsure if she likes him and then my brain just skips to a night when they're on the swing...

***

Boomer strummed his guitar as the crickets sung around them, the swing light dim. He suddenly stops his strumming, "Hey remember when you kissed me? When we were 13?"

Bubbles laughed and covered her lips, her cheeks colored slightly, "that was so long ago." She turned her eyes to him, "when we were kids."

"Oh yeah. And that epic date I took you on." He recalled. She shoved him light-heartedly.

"You dated me for a day and left me broken-hearted for two months." She grinned smug.

Boomer's eyes widened, "2 months? You were that into a dumb kid like me?"

"Of course I was," she said her eyes, not on him but looking at the stars above them. The night was beautiful and warm. She drew her knees on the swing as she gazed up. " I always liked you... Ever since we were kids I kinda..." He watched as she giggled awkwardly and her cheeks became even redder. She finally shrugged and turned her gaze to him, "I kinda told my friends I was in love with you."

He thought this over as their eyes locked. His heart felt like it was going to jump through his chest.

She looked back at the stars, "I even told the Professor." Her eyes had a small shimmer in them. "It was-" she scoffed and dropped her head, shaking it, "it was so stupid honestly."

He wanted to touch her hand, but it was wrapped around her knees, holding them together. He thought of all the things he could do. He could rest his arms on the seat, almost on her shoulders. He could scoot closer until they were touching. He could fiddle with the shoelace of her shoe.

Instead, he scoffed as well and turned his attention to the neck of his guitar, hoping she couldn't tell he was blushing. "Yeah. We were pretty dumb."

***

They end up talking about their childhood and one thing leads to another and they kiss. But nothing interrupts them so it's just awkward and they say bye.

Eventually, they start dating and yeaaaaah... If this were going to be a fic, I pretty much spoiled it lmao. But i wanted to share that with you guys cause i know there are other blues stans out there and we don't get that much love in the "more serious" fanfic department so I know every little thing adds up 😌👌

I honestly wish i could stay committed to writing a fic but i have horrible self-discipline and initiative D: Sorry y'all but i hope you enjoyed it c:

#ppg #powerpuff girls #rrb #rowdyruff boys #powerpuffgirls #boomer rrb #bubbles ppg #blues powerpuff girls #ppg blues #boomubbles

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fayewonglibrary · 3 years ago

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Wong’s Way (2011)

An anomaly in the cookie-cutter world of Cantopop, FAYE WONG has paradoxically found success by playing against the rules. Prestige Hong Kong follows her down the road less travelled

FIVE YEARS MAY not seem like that long, but it can be a lifetime in an entertainment industry that feeds off the right-here and the right-now. So it came as a surprise when, half a decade ago, Faye Wong decided to step back from the limelight and resume as much of a normal life as might ever be possible for a woman whose music has sold in the millions and who has combined that side of her existence with an acclaimed acting career.

From an existence playing before tens of thousands, what the Beijing-born Wong longed for at that point in time was a life tucked away in the peace and tranquillity of home – and after almost 20 years in the spotlight, and with her every move followed by a fan base that can be tallied in the millions, who could really blame her?

But as an artist who in an age of corporate conformity flatly refuses to play to any predetermined stereotype, Wong has always preferred to play by her own rules. It may come as a surprise, then, to find out that Faye Wong was not always “Faye” – diehard fans will remember a period in which the artist was known as Shirley Wong Ching-man, an affectation suggested by her record company early in her career, because of the stigma associated with the hip factor (or lack thereof) of mainland Chinese artists and names.

Even Wong’s early hits weren’t what you would call “original” – her first few albums were filled with formulaic Cantopop: collections of saccharine, predictable tunes that failed to properly utilise her delicate, lilting soprano. When she broke out of that shell in 1992, after a short travel hiatus, she finally found success, initially with a cover of a Japanese chart-topper in Cantonese, “Fragile Woman.”

Despite her disinclination to be impacted by her local contemporaries, Wong was not without her influences. She covered songs by The Cranberries, took quirky style cues from Björk and collaborated with the Cocteau Twins. The further she strayed from Cantopop, the more fame she found, penning her own songs and admittedly self-indulgent lyrics. She rapped on “No Exit,” yodelled through “Di-Dar” and even won the hearts of nerds by wailing the English-language title track to the hit video-game Final Fantasy VIII, “Eyes On Me.”

Even when her albums weren’t critical or commercial successes, her fame continued to grow, exponentially and uncontrollably. Her handful of acting roles, including in Chungking Express and 2046, showcased a curious, simultaneous aloofness and magnetism, an infectious, ravishing oddness.

In 2005, two months before she married actor Li Yapeng, she announced that she would take a break from show business. And so for five years there have been sightings, the occasional public appearance and the work for her own charity, but otherwise it’s pretty much been silence from Wong, as her fans – and the world at large – waited.

With that in mind, we should not have been surprised at the reaction to the news that Wong would finally be reemerging, to stage comeback concerts that started in Beijing last October, then took in Shanghai and Taipei before coming to Hong Kong, the place where Wong’s career was launched, for a series of shows in March. Tickets – for all nights, at all venues – sold out in a matter of days and the critical response has been overwhelming.

The headlines said it all: “The Diva is Back.”

What the Wong faithful have found is that their idol has lost none of the passion for the music that forms, as she puts it herself, part of her fate. They’ve been treated to nights filled with the songs that have formed the soundtrack for the lives of a generation here in Hong Kong – and beyond.

When Prestige Hong Kong found the interview-shy 40-year-old, she was in between shows and letting that fate take its course. What Wong wants the world to know is that throughout her storied career there has, she says, never been any real plan. She’s simply a woman who lets the cards fall as they may.

Can you talk a little about your return to the stage and playing live? What brought about the decision to play your recent concerts? I consider this a natural move for me. I’ve been doing several commercials as well as releasing some new singles over the past few years. So this was a natural progression back to live performances. It’s all part of my career.

How did you go about deciding what form the concerts would take and the songs you played? There’s no special form or arrangement that’s deliberately conceived for my concert. I believe my singing is the main source of interaction between the audience and me. Every show is unique and my mood is different, depending on the atmosphere. It’s not my practice to talk much with people or have any planned speech in my concert, because I don’t want the conversation to ruin the whole integrity and mood of the arrangement of the concert. I hope my audiences can indulge themselves with my music, while also digesting the message my show is delivering.

After the recent concerts in Shanghai and Beijing, what’s your feeling about coming back on stage? It feels so good to see all my fans again.

Do you have any plans to work on a new album? If so, will you be writing songs yourself? There’s no plan to work on a whole new album. But there is a possibility to release singles, and maybe I’ll write some songs myself.

How different to you is the experience of playing live now as compared to when your career began? What have you learned and how much has the experience for you changed over the years? I’ve been working with different sets of crews, composers, producers etc since the beginning of my career. Each of these collaborations has opened up a whole new experience and been an amazing inspiration for me. Call it a fireworks feeling.

What was it that initially drew you to the music business? What was it that you found most exciting? I believe singing is my destiny, and it’s fate that this became my career. I find it gratifying that I’m able to touch people’s lives with my songs. It’s a form of good karma.

Have your musical tastes changed or evolved as you matured as a person and as an actress? I admire different types of music and things depending on the different stages of my life.

Did becoming a mother change how you approached both your singing and your career? There was no change. I still sing with the same commitment and feeling, and it’s the same with my career.

And how much, do you think, did this change you as a person? The process of raising a child is part of my evolution as a human being. If you’re not a parent or don’t fully involve yourself as a parent, you’ll never realise this traditional, fulfilling role of parenthood. As a parent, it’s natural to want to show your best side and provide the best example to your child. However, sometimes it’s hard to break habits that may surface from time to time. It’s a painful cycle, because even though you realise your own faults, to change yourself completely requires a lot of courage and determination.

We’re curious about a typical day for Faye Wong. What’s your routine when you’re not performing? What time do you go to bed, what’s your favourite meal and what activities do you share with your kids? Basically, I go to bed and wake up the same time as my kids do. I got used to enjoying the regular pattern of a healthy lifestyle, but that won’t happen coming back to work.

Frankly, there’s so much to do when you take charge of a whole household. My life in the past few years was completely occupied by family and there was no time for me ever to feel bored. Sometimes I feel that I was even busier than when I was working as a singer.

Do you think your children share the same character as you? When I look at my kids, it’s like looking into a mirror and seeing the deepest side of myself.

What are the things that make you most happy now, compared with when you were younger? What do you now cherish most? I cherish everyone and everything. I’m fortunate to appreciate what I have and the people I know.

How do you see your image now? Are you an artist who is careful to control her image, or is it more a case of come what may? The most effortless style suits me best. I aim to be the most natural, honest in my approach. I want it to be pure, not something that seems too contrived or created just to fit the latest trend.

What are you most passionate about? To find the real meaning of life, and share it with lots of people.

What about acting? Is this something you’re keen to pick up again as well? If so, what kinds of films and roles might interest you? Right now, I have no plans on filming.

What are the challenges you see ahead in the next few years? What can your audience expect? My life has no planning, and I’m not a person who conceives everything in advance. It always depends on what’s being offered and what I feel like doing at that moment. There’s no pressure on myself – I leave everything to chance and fate.

The Smile Angel Foundation was founded in Beijing in 2006 by you and your husband, Li Yapeng, after your own child was afflicted with a cleft lip. It’s helped a lot of other children suffering from cleft lips and palates. Has the foundation changed your life or your character in any way? My contribution to Smile Angel Foundation is not as much as my husband’s involvement. He’s very busy working on plans to support the foundation. For me, basically, I’ll attend annual charity events and activities to lend my support.

On this project, we started everything from scratch and are very gratified to see how much it has accomplished. My husband is definitely the driving force behind the foundation, and I really admire his passion, courage and capability.

At your current stage, do you think you have evolved in your perspective of things compared with when you were younger? Can you share your road of growth a little bit? I was a bit stubborn, objective and capricious when I was younger. I’m now more willing to be open-minded and flexible, and always try to remind myself about this. It’s quite difficult to stop old habits surfacing from time to time. But I’m trying hard to accomplish it.

Do you have any advice on how to maintain a woman’s beauty and charm after the age of 30? First of all, you have to accept your age. I believe everyone has their own unique way to create their own charm and maintain their beauty, which is sometimes a very personal approach. One should find one’s own best way; there really is no standard formula for everyone to maintain their beauty. I believe the most natural side of a person is the most beautiful.

You’re acclaimed as a pioneer of alternative music. Does that mean you won’t compromise with the commercial market? I never define my music as “mainstream” or “edgy” or “alternative.” I just do what I like.

Photography / Shameless Eye Production AG Styling / Titi Kwan Hair / Alain Pichon Make-up / Zing Wardrobe / Céline Spring 2011 collection

------------------------------------------------------------------

SOURCE: PRESTIGE HONG KONG

#2011

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fabfoxly · 5 years ago

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Harry’s Sentebale Speech: an Analysis (with some help from “Hamilton”)

Loads of my Tumblr friends are in shock, and maybe a bit of understandable anger, over the speech Harry gave today. Here’s my analysis (along with some snarky reactions, b/c that’s what I do). As always, keep in mind that I’m no royal expert and everything I write could turn out to be completely wrong (it’s happened before). If you want to read the full speech and watch the video, go here:

https://www.news.com.au/entertainment/celebrity-life/royals/prince-harrys-stunning-sentebale-speech-in-full/news-story/77ebb0814bf3c85326c308bdd6c96ac8

Here are the parts I want to focus on:

“Good evening, and thank you for being here for Sentebale, a charity me and Prince Seeiso created back in 2006 to honour my mother’s legacy in supporting those affected by HIV and AIDS.

Bad grammar alert, right out the gate. This may be a tip-off that not all is as it seems.

Diana, mention 1.

“Before I begin, I must say that I can only imagine what you may have heard or perhaps read over the last few weeks …

Yep, that about covers it.

“So, I want you to hear the truth from me, as much as I can share...

“As much as I can share?” Big flaming clue, right there. There’s loads he’s not spilling.

— not as a Prince, or a Duke, but as Harry, the same person that many of you have watched grow up over the last 35 years — but with a clearer perspective. “The UK is my home and a place that I love. That will never change.

Right, and the people who have known me all my life, know this:

“I have grown up feeling support from so many of you, and I watched as you welcomed Meghan with open arms as you saw me find the love and happiness that I had hoped for all my life. Finally, the second son of Diana got hitched, hurray!

“Welcomed with open arms?” There go the Race and Bullying cards. But hey, M wrote most of this, so I’m just ad-libbing a bit.

Diana, mention 2.

You saw me that day, right?

“I also know you’ve come to know me well enough over all these years to trust that the woman I chose as my wife upholds the same values as I do.

Well, you might *trust* that...

And she does, and she’s the same woman I fell in love with.

More atrocious grammar; M wrote this, probs on a rosé-all-day day. Also, she certainly is the same woman I fell in love with -- you all know just what that really means. Ooopsie.

“We both do everything we can to fly the flag and carry out our roles for this country with pride. Once Meghan and I were married, we were excited, we were hopeful, and we were here to serve.

Well, *I* do...

“For those reasons, it brings me great sadness that it has come to this.

I’m damn salty about this.

“The decision that I have made for my wife and I to step back, is not one I made lightly.

I may have “made” the decision. That doesn’t mean it was my idea.

It was so many months of talks after so many years of challenges.

So many years of challenges = 20 months. Sure has felt a lot longer, though!

And I know I haven’t always gotten it right, but as far as this goes, there really was no other option.

I’m going along for now b/c I had no choice.

“What I want to make clear is we’re not walking away, and we certainly aren’t walking away from you. Our hope was to continue serving the Queen, the commonwealth, and my military associations, but without public funding. Unfortunately, that wasn’t possible.

Well, *I’m* not walking away, especially not from Sentebale. The way M wanted it to go was not possible.

“I’ve accepted this, knowing that it doesn’t change who I am or how committed I am.

I’m going along for now, but I’m still the same person with the same commitment to HMTQ, the RF, and the UK. I haven’t changed.

But I hope that helps you understand what it had to come to, that I would step my family back from all I have ever known, to take a step forward into what I hope can be a more peaceful life.

I hate this. Seriously. Hopefully life will be a lot more peaceful for me after the divorce.

“I was born into this life, and it is a great honour to serve my country and the Queen.

I’m born royal and I’m a soldier who is serving my country and the Queen. Notice who I *didn’t* mention here?

“When I lost my mum 23 years ago, you took me under your wing. You’ve looked out for me for so long, but the media is a powerful force, and my hope is one day our collective support for each other can be more powerful because this is so much bigger than just us.

Diana, mention 3. Also, this bit is M’s word salad, right here. BUT: Don’t believe all the $hit you read and see. I’m doing this for a bigger cause.

“It has been our privilege to serve you, and we will continue to lead a life of service.

Well, *I* will...

“It has also been a privilege to meet so many of you, and to feel your excitement for our son “Archie, who saw snow for the first time the other day and thought it was bloody brilliant!

I wasn’t in Canada “the other day,” and when I *was* allegedly there, the area where we were allegedly staying on Vancouver Island had zero snow. Plus, Archie’s not old enough to talk like that. This should give a few of you pause. M wrote this bit, too.

“I will always have the utmost respect for my grandmother, my commander in chief, and I am incredibly grateful to her and the rest of my family, for the support they have shown Meghan and I over the last few months.

I’m taking my orders from Grandma, who’s my commander in chief. Also, let’s bust the race and bullying cards one more time, shall we?

“I will continue to be the same man who holds his country dear and dedicates his life to supporting the causes, charities and military communities that are so important to me.

My country comes FIRST, if you were in any doubt: #priorities. Notice I didn’t mention anything like merching, tell-all interviews, or that global branding empire everyone’s been talking about.

“Together, you have given me an education about living. And this role has taught me more about what is right and just than I could have ever imagined. We are taking a leap of faith – thank you for giving me the courage to take this next step.

I’ve learned how to keep my mouth shut and do my role to make the mission succeed. When that’s done, I get to take the next step. Divorce announcement in the works...

The word Sentebale means “forget me not” in Sesotho and also serves as a memory of both Prince Seeiso’s mother as well as my own.

Don’t forget me. I may be away for a bit, though.

Diana, mention 5.

“My work and commitment for this charity, that I founded 14 years ago now, will never falter.

“I and all those at Sentebale, be it here in London, Lesotho or Botswana — will continue the work to make real long-lasting impact for all those that have been left vulnerable.

Unlike someone else we won’t mention, I don’t do one-off charity photo ops. I will keep working with Sentebale no matter what, and I’m not going anywhere.

Even if, as many think, Mugs wrote most of this speech for him, isn’t it curious that, no less than SEVEN TIMES, he managed to let everyone know that his loyalty lies with the RF and he’s right now serving the Queen, his commander-in-chief?

I bet M be like:

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neostar-entertainment · 5 years ago

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title: starry night

pairing: taehui-centric

summary: a journey through taehui’s mind from the start of his career in the music industry, while trying to discover himself: from a clueless kid to a man who could have it all.

notes: warning for discussions of mental health!

2006.

It felt like everything Taehui had been working towards was finally coming alive. SM Entertainment, after years of Taehui training, had informed the sixteen year old he would be debuting in a few months, in the first quarter of the new year.

Packing up his things, and throwing his backpack on, Taehui left the practice room with the proudest smile he had ever worn. Shit hadn’t always been easy, and that wasn’t a shocker. Being a trainee isn’t a walk in the park, nor is it close to being something that Taehui found himself genuinely enjoying taking a part of. Yes, he was determined to work hard to get where he wanted, and he was sure all his effort would be worth it. But, certain days it felt harder to bring himself to go practices, go to lessons, and do everything that was expected of him.

He couldn’t tell if it was something he could blame on the part of his mind that loved playing with the concept of making things worse than it seems to be.

Taehui shook his head, trying to dispel any thoughts like that at the moment-although a part of him was sure they’d be back sooner than later. His right hand holding onto the straps of his backpack as tightly as it could, he bolted out of the building, writing a small text to his father to deliver the news.

He let his mind wonder how his father, Taehyung, would react. Taehui wasn’t expecting anything less than supportive, because truth be told if it wasn’t for his father he wasn’t sure he’d be exactly where he was at. It was awkward at the start of their relationship, especially due to the fact that Taehui was educated that his dad did not want custody over him originally. The uncomfortable glances, the hesitated questions, the stubborn silence that refused to leave.

But as time progressed, so did their relationship. His father became his best friend, albeit a bit too awkward at times, Taehui was happy to have someone after losing his mother. The moment the text delivered, his phone began vibrating with a call. A small immediately painted across Taehui’s phone as he raised the phone to answer.

“You’re finally debuting?!”

“Yes!” Taehui’s smile was as bright as the stars that were beginning to illuminate the sky, “They said it’s only a few months away!”

“Fuck yeah! I-No, Ms. Jung it’s okay, it’s about Taehui.” Taehui laughed to himself as his father told his secretary the news. “How about I pick you up and we can go for a celebratory dinner?”

“That’d be-wait, don’t you have work to do? You don’t even come home anymore until really late.” Taehui’s didn’t mean to sound accusatory at all and before he could spit out an apology his father’s laughter filled his ears.

“It’s fine. I can take off early one day for you, Hui. I’ll pick you up outside of the normal spot?”

“Yup!” Taehui didn’t mean to sound like a childhood who was asked if they wanted desert, letting out a cough, he repeated the same word with a more deeper tone, “Yup.”

“Dork. I’ll be there in about 20 minutes, if traffic isn’t too bad. Please stay indoors.”

“Understood, boss.” Taehui had to hold himself back from giving a salute when they were talking over the fucking phone. His face flushed as he hurried back inside, his mind and heart racing with excitement like never before.

2009.

Debuting under SM was a dream come true for Taehui...for a solid few months. When his debut didn’t pull as much attention as SM had hoped, worries were already up in the air. However, Taehui was determined to prove his worth by putting his best foot forward.

Yet, it felt like every time Taehui attempted to step up to the plate, it was met with him running into a brick wall. When he suggested producing and creating his own music to show his musicality to the public, he was told that they didn’t want to risk anything with an amateur behind the music. When he tried to get on variety shows to get the public’s interest in him to rise, management told him he didn’t have the personality to do any shows by himself.

When his first comeback didn’t do any better than his debut, it felt like Taehui was thrown onto the backburner. No news came out any type of promotion or comeback, a year after his comeback. Whenever he asked about anything he was told that something was being planned.

Around the time it was getting close to two years without any news or any type of promotion, Taehui went to his dad and both of them managed to get Taehui’s contract nullified.

That’s how Taehui ended up in the balcony of his penthouse, sitting right on the glass rail with one of his legs hanging off the edge.

“Mind getting down from there, before you give your old man a heart attack?” his dad's voice was gentle, causing Taehui to snap his head towards him as we came onto the balcony as well.

Taehui hurriedly brought his other leg off the rail, hopping off and walking towards his dad and taking the cup of hot tea in his hands. “Thanks.”

“Of course, kid.” Hui’s father gestured to the two chairs for them to sit together.

“What’s up?”

“So I’ve been thinking…” Taehyung grinned as he let the silence build up just to see Taehui pout, “What if, you created your own company?”

“I-uh...what?”

“You’re an adult this year, so that’s not an issue-”

“I know, but...a whole company?”

“I mean,” Taehyung brought the cup to his lips as he took a sip as he put a hand on-top of Taehui’s trying to reassure the kid who looked like his mind was running crazy. “Don’t think I’m trying to make you or anything. It’s all up to you, Hui. I’ve thought about it recently, and it’s definitely a possibility, especially if you still want to pursue music.”

Taehui remained silent, looking down at the tea in his cup, his mind wandering all over the place.

“I’m just…”

“Scared?”

Taehui weakly nodded, as his cheeks flushed with a soft pink tint showcasing his slight embarrassment regarding his feelings.

“You won’t be alone. You’ll have me with, Hui, always.” the reassurance in his father’s voice made Taehui look up, seeing the sincerity in his eyes felt overwhelming in a sense. His eyes swelled up with tears, rashly lowering his head again.

“Hey, buddy…” he felt his father get up from his seat and crouch down next to him, wrapping an arm around his shoulder. “I didn’t mean for it to be so pressuring-”

“No. I-I’m not...That’s not why.” Taehui quickly rubbed his eyes, wanting any tears that were threatening to fall to disappear. “I’m just...fuck-”

“Hey, no cursing, kid.” The teasing tone in his dad’s voice made him smile while he chuckled, pulling his hands away from covering his eyes.

“Give me time to think about it?”

“Of course!” Taehyung pulled him into a side-hug, “Just breathe, right now. Take as much time as you need, I’ll do some more research about it in the meantime. It’ll sound pretty nice for both son and father being CEOs of their own companies, huh?”

“Yeah, yeah.” Taehui rolled his eyes sarcastically, his mind trailing into the thought of the possibility of having his own company.

2015.

If you had told Taehui that he’d be leaving SM Entertainment, only to shortly create his own company to pursue his music career at the age of 20, he’d tell you you’re full of shit. If you had decided to throw in the fact that he’d be reaching the status of one of the better-known soloists in the industry, taking awards during some of the biggest award shows in South Korea’s music industry, he’d laugh his ass off.

However, after he had decided to establish his own company, under the guide of his father, that’s exactly what happened. Taehui already had netizen’s attention with him re-debuting after leaving, and he used it to his advantage with the numerous releases he threw out during his debut in 2013. Each one had managed to garner more and more attention than the previous, showing the interest the general public had in him, and Taehui decided to use that to his advantage.

Winning MNet’s award for best new artist helped solidify Taehui’s new status in the industry, and his ever-growing music show wins proved his power amongst the competition.

As Taehui laid in the backyard of his house, his eyes focused on stars that were scattered along the night sky, a smile spread across his face. It had been 5 official years of him trying to make it in the industry, and Taehui felt like he was exactly where he wanted to be.

He felt like he had everything he possibly wanted and even more.

Taehui simply felt something that had been chasing for a few years: happiness.

2016.

“I’m shocked you’ve decided to create your own groups,” Taehui’s father spoke as they both sat down in the restaurant for dinner, “Didn’t feel like that long ago you were crying over re-debuting yourself.”

“Dad.” Taehui’s cheeks heated up almost instantly, causing his father to let out a laugh. “I’m 26 now, I was a kid back-”

“Didn’t you just become an adult then?”

“You’re pure evil.” Taehui squinted his eyes, pointing at his chopsticks at his father’s direction, snorting as his father gasped dramatically.

“The same evil that’s helped you get where you are, huh?”

“That exact type of evil.”

Both of the men laughed softly to themselves as they read over the menu, even though Taehui had already memorized all the entrees from coming here so many times with his dad.

“So why the sudden interest in helping others debut under you?”

“Uh,” Taehui looked up through his eyelashes. “Not really sudden. I just...I’ve been thinking and I’ve been really grateful for everything that’s happened-”

“That you’ve worked tremendously hard for.”

“Yeah, of course, but still. If there’s a chance I can do the same for other people, why not? I’m sure not if I’m gonna fall flat on my face with this idea, but there’s always a possibility it’ll end well. Can you imagine that? Just creating a safe space for others too?”

A comfortable silence faded across the atmosphere, Taehyung nodding along to what his son had said. It was the truth. Taehui knew the stress he’s endured, and the scares he’s dealt with whilst being under a company that wasn’t his own. He knows how taxing it can be at first hand, how much it can weigh on someone to the point where giving up on a dream seems simpler. If Taehui can eliminate that for anyone looking to make it in the industry, he’d at least be willing to try.

“Just...don’t forget about yourself. It’ll be great if you can pull this off successfully, however, living just to make others happy isn’t ideal. Make sure you stay happy too.”

“Yeah, of course-”

“Are you still going to therapy?”

Taehui grunted a response, his eyes faltering from the direction of his head.

“Taehui.”

“Yes. I’m going.”

“It’s not something-”

“To be ashamed about, I know. It’s just...annoying sometimes.”

“It helps though, doesn’t it?”

“Yeah.”

“You haven’t thought about…”

“No, God no. I can’t even remember the last time I thought about that.”

“Good, good.” Taehui’s dad nodded, leaning forwards to take a sip out of his drink. His bluntness was always something Taehui wanted from him, just to say whatever was on his mind without hesitating. “Also...you got enough money to fund all these idols?”

“Yeah, of course! I have enough money planned and I’ve been talking to some of the people you’ve told me to, and I’ve been contacting some investors to see if they’d be willing to do anything in regards to that as well.”

“Great,” the teasing smile of his father’s face caused Taehui to roll his eyes dramatically, “just don’t come to me if everything fails.”

“Oh, please. You’d run over to help.”

“I’m not a billionaire-”

“Close to it.”

“If you fail with this, I’ll have a job ready as my assistant.”

“The evil is back again!”

#kumokocnet #kocsociety #fake kpop #fake kpop idol #oc kpop idol #oc kpop band #idol!au #idol!oc #oc kpop soloist #c: taehui #i FEEL LIKE THIS IS TERRIBLE #maybe ill delete #i just wanted to throw out taehui content aslkdjasldkj #we'll see hhh #anyways taehui and his dad are a dream duo omg rich lil fuckers #adopt me challenge

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ten-ten31 · 4 years ago

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Dear Yuletide Writer

Dear Yuletide Writer,

Thank you so much for writing for me! :) I can't tell you just how excited I am. This is my first Yuletide and I guess I'm super nervous, but also looking forward to it. :)

Please feel free to browse my ao3 (KitKaos) and/or tumblr to get an idea of what I stan, like, read or write. I hope I can give you some broad ideas and inspirations in this letter to help you plan. Do feel free to fall back on my general likes if the prompts don't do anything for you. Or just use the prompts, whatever works best for you. Oh, and should you, dear Yuletide Santa, want to write in German and not in English, then I'm definitely okay with that. I'm fluent in both, so whichever you feel more comfortable with. If there's something missing or if you have a question, you can reach out to me via the mods.

General likes: I'm a sucker for the old friends-to-lovers or even enemies-to-lovers (with all the drama of grudginly admitting that the other party maybe isn't all that terrible and all). Things I'll never get tired of include coffeeshop AUs, spy AUs, musical AUs, found families, fake dating, pining, crossdressing, drunken shenanigans, fish-out-of-water situations, pop culture references, etc. Just about any kind of scene you can sneak in there about cooking or eating food (also characters being picky about certains foods and other characters going to some lengths to accommodate that) will make me happy, too. I do have a thing for descriptions of food and expecially impressions of taste - and if you want to make it kinky: food play. ;) I also have a bit of a hand fetish - so descriptions of hands are always welcome. If you want to do it, I probably also won't say no to someone breaking the Fourth Wall, any kind of alternate history AU, crossovers of my fandoms, or even some lovely steampunk aesthetics.

Do Not Want: rape/dubcon/noncon, watersports, scat, humiliation, A/B/O, soulmates AU, vampire/werewolf AU, second-person pov, character bashing of any kind.

Fandoms

Just two more thing before I go into detail: 1. The prompts below are nothing more than ideas - feel free to ignore them if you have a better one. :) 2. Not all of the characters need to be used in every prompt; pick and choose as desired.

Dial H for Hero (DC Comics)

- Summer Pickens, Miguel Montez

The 2019 12-issue run is just pure love! There is worldbuilding galore, relatable characters, a wonderful coming-of-age and initiation plot, interdimensional shenanigans, the question how Joe Average could get addicted to sudden superpowers, and so much fun with the concept of Superhero Secret Origins. Summer is a wonderfully strong and caring female lead and Miguel is a self-conscious little oddball.

As for prompts: Seeing more of their Metropolis adventures or Red/Yellow/Blue/Black Dial transformations would definitely be a lot of fun. Also, there's this cute boy Miguel asks out in the comics and I would love to see that first date. And what about Summer? She definitely won't be reduced to sidekick!

Feel free to include any other ((teenage) superhero) cameos you feel like. Please do not pair up Summer and Miguel romantically - although I don't have any problems with a fake relationship fic for them. ;)

Where to find it: Your trusted comicbook supplier.

Masks: A New Generation (Roleplaying Game)

- any / worldbuilding

I only just disovered Masks as an RPG, and ever since I started playing, it's probably the most fun rping I've had in a long time. I love that playbooks are not by the type of power but the type of problem each teenager faces personally. Like, how do you juggle school, first love, being different in a way no one should know about, being different maybe in a way people will immediately see, adults telling you who to be, chores, and being part of a young superhero team that wants to make a name for themselves? It's hard. And the best sessions alternate between deep emotional connections, hilarious teenage drama and great action scenes.

As for prompts: I would love me some good worldbuilding - so maybe there is a reason the Scarlet Songbird is still around? What was Halcyon City like back in the days of the Golden-Age heroes? What has changed since then? How do especially the older generations view the naming conventions going around for new heroes? Is there a code to follow? Who in Halcyon City pays for all the damage to buildings and infrastructure caused by superhero-supervillain fights? What was it like back in the olden days for the Golden Age heroes as opposed to now? Are there cultural exchange programs with any of the alien races visiting from time to time? Give me a day in the life of an average Halcyon City citizen - they don't even have to be all that close to an epic fight or something. Just their way of coping with the daily madness of a huge city housing most of the world's superheroes. If you like something a little more character-specific: The one actual-play podcast that does it best in my opinion are the Theatre of the Mind Players with their "Future Shock" and "Past Tense" seasons of Masks. And I would love to read more about these characters. Have Sparrow and Figment finally get together. Give me a glimpse of how Horizon assembled his ersatz mom. What will Helix and Remix get up to?

Where to find it: The core rulebook is available from Magpie Games. The Theatre of the Mind Players’ Masks sessions can be found on Youtube.

Super Sons (Comics)

- Jonathan Samuel Kent, Damian Wayne

Super Sons is how I finally came to like and care for Damian Wayne - which, if you know me, is a major achievement! He is still a huge brat, don't get me wrong, but Jon's influence on him and the way he is confronted with certain issues he has... it's magical! It's wholesome! It's healing! They are both so fiercely protective of each other, and they both grow as characters from their experiences with each other.

As for prompts: So, dear Yuletide Santa, give me character growth and banter and friendship galore. I can see slumber parties at Wayne Manor or at the Kent farm. I can see them getting lost in space and time. I can see more adventures once they're at the same school. I can see a canon-divergence AU where Jon is finally admitted into the the Teen Titans at age 13 - how would that go? Or how about an Interrail Buddies AU?

If you want to write slashfic for them, I will not say no but would probably prefer to age them up a bit. I also most definitely don't mind any background appearances of any of their families.

Where to find it: Your trusted comicbook supplier.

Superman Returns (2006)

- any (Clark Kent, Lois Lane, Jimmy Olsen, Richard White)

I still love this movie a lot - not because it's particularly spectacular, but it treats the characters with love, it treats the legacy of the Reeve movies with love and it leaves SO MANY questions for fanfiction authors to answer. ;) I mean, I've been a Superman fan for a long time and I've discovered that I'm most comfortable with a Clark who wears a mask both as Clark Kent and as Superman, who isn't either of those two (and who is fallible). And whenever someone learns of his secret identity, they will see that he's so much more than either Clark or Superman. I know Lois is a fairly underdeveloped character in this movie, so I would love for her to be treated not just as a prize, especially since there were those years of her having to put her life back together after Supes just up and left.

As for prompts, I've always wondered about the different coping mechanisms (Lois turning bitter, Jimmy starting up daydrinking - WTF?!) and just how their day-to-day business changed without Clark and Supes there. Give me the Planet staff banding together to rescue Lois when she remembers just that second too late that there will be no superhero to save them (I also wouldn't mind any of the Bats helping out secretly, if that's up your alley). Give me Jimmy trying not to think too much and instead getting on Lois' nerves until he's rescued by Richard intervening. I am also an absolute sucker for continuation fics, so how do things settle down after what happens in the movie? I would love for some real Clark and Jimmy bonding moments, maybe even Jimmy finding out or having known all along and covered for Clark. I would love for some truce and real friendship blossoming between Clark and Richard, as they are both intelligent, compassionate, insightful men. If you want to include Jason anywhere, feel free to do that, as he makes for such a wonderful catalyst for disaster. Feel free to write gen or any canon pairings - I'm also okay with non-canon het/slash pairs (or threesomes) as long as they make sense in-universe. ;)

Where to find it: Sadly, the movie doesn’t seem to be streaming anywhere, but since it’s 14 years old now, you can buy it relatively cheap.

Young Justice (Comics)

- Tim Drake (but do feel free to have any of the other characters in the story, too)

No matter if you're into the old 1990s YJ comics, the companion comics to the cartoon show, or the new 2019/20 version of the comics - I love all of them! So much I don't even know where to begin... The snark! The lovable teenage stupidity! The friendship that goes above and beyond! My definite favourite is Tim, because he is such a bright, snarky, secretive, repressed little bird (the moment he takes off his domino mask to reveal a second one underneath? priceless)! I also love his deep friendship with the others because that's his found family. Yes, Batman is his mentor (even though Tim might understand B better than the other way round sometimes) and Dick is his older brother and idol (hero worship, anyone?), but Young Justice is where he wants to be himself and all of it.

As for prompts: Even though I did not put either Cassie or Cissie in my request as I want something Tim-centric, the dynamic with those two strong-willed girls is definitely something I would love to see explored more. Also how the dynamic with the bats is so very different than the Young Just Us dynamic. What's it like being the one without powers in a group of hormonal teenage superheroes? I also just realized that I would love to see more of Mister Sarcastic trolling the rest of the gang. Or how about: What if Tim had powers for one day? If you're into the 2019 comics, how about a 5+1 of Why Drake May Or May Not Be A Good Superhero Alias. If you want to include the rest of the gang, you're definitely more than welcome to. Tim and Kon's bickering and outright arguments in the beginning turning into such a solid friendship (or more) is something I can read about time and time again. Pretty much the same goes for Tim and Bart. Or how about some Wendy the Werewolf Stalker shenanigans? Why is having girls in your group a bad/good idea? How did Cassie's becoming the team's leader affect Tim's sense of self? Heck, if you feel like it, open up the love triangle Tim-Cassie-Kon since there's like a ton of history there. Oh, and anyway, why is Stephanie Brown never part of any of Tim's teams? Dear Yuletide Santa, do also feel free to include any of the other teens (I have a soft spot for Li'l Lobo/Slobo).

Where to find it: Your trusted comicbook supplier.

Overall, I’m sure I’ll love what you have for me, and I'm looking forward to reading it! <3

#yuletide 2020 #yuletide #dear yuletide writer #dyw #yulebuilding #cheftide #wrapping paper challenge 2020

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meldelen · 4 years ago

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Dragonlance’s Lost Chronicles I: Dragons of the Dwarven Depths - A rambling review

Cover art by Matt Stawicki depicting Tanis Half-Elven, Flint Fireforge and Tasslehoff Burrfoot, three of the main characters.

By now I should be rereading the second trilogy of the Dragonlance Tales, but I couldn’t resist and started with this trilogy of The Lost Chronicles which, to my eternal shame as Dragonlance fan, I didn’t even know it existed until a few months ago during confinement, when I decided to re-explore this beloved franchise of my teen years. The Lost Chronicles is a relatively recent trilogy - year 2006 - if we compare it with the first original trilogy, Dragonlance Chronicles (1984) that complete each other. Those who have read the Chronicles will remember that after finishing the first volume - Dragons of Autumn Twilight - in the second, Dragons of Winter Night, the authors made a temporary leap omitting part of the story - due to lack of time and creativity, they admitted at the time - in which the main characters’ group was recovering a sacred relic from the Dwarven nation of Thorbardin, The Hammer of Kharas, in exchange for providing protection and accommodation to refugees driven from Solace and enslaved by the Dragon Highord Verminaard. Well, precisely, this what the first volume of The Lost Chronicles is about, written no less than 20 years later, to complete this and other gaps in the original plot.

I have to say that on one hand I was excited to find this trilogy written to complete the original, and on the other hand, I was skeptical about it. Because writing decades later to complete something you had already done usually results in a grievance compared to the original work; it seems unlikely that something better will be done so long later; and unless you go with the lead feet, reread your original work VERY WELL and have a good publisher, it’s very likely to fall into contradictions and inconsistencies in the plot.

Well, nothing of that! This book is great! Not only have the authors recovered the original spirit of the Chronicles, but also - at the risk of being burned as heretic at the bonfire of fandom - they have improved it, and how! On the other hand it is logical, because writers are supposed to improve with time if they care for what they do, and let's not forget that Weis and Hickman are also the authors of that wonderful series called The Death Gate Cycle, which it is totally on another level. All that experience of years has been invested now and it shows.

How does it show? The pace of the plot, for example. The Chronicles, specially the first volume, had a very stressful rhythm - it was like climbing a roller coaster without harness - while Dragons of the Dwarven Depths has a sensible and constant pace, dosing the action and the dialogues in a balanced, fluid and consistent way. Secondly: it’s much better written than the original trilogy, both in terms of prose and setting. They take more time to describe the environments and the lore without becoming tedious, boring, or too hasty as sometimes happened in the original trilogy. Of course, the poems of Michael Williams are still horrible - or perhaps it is the translation that is horrible, I will give him the benefit of the doubt -; that issue seems to be doomed.

And finally I stop at what has always been, for me, the best of Dragonlance and the reason why I love it: the characterization. It has always been wonderful, and in this volume it shows. The Companions, very different in their origins, abilities and personality, have always fascinated me because they seem absolutely human and relatable, believable although many of them are not "humans" per se or have supernatural abilities, of course. They are supposed to be childhood friends and allies of their own free will in a world at war, but they actually malfunction as some kind of dysfunctional family, if I may allow redundancy. The mean-spirited and grumpy dwarf messes with everyone and scolds them all like a curmudgeonly grandfather, the others handle him making him believe that his decisions matter and his intervention is essential to them, the knight won’t stop annoying everyone with his ideals of honor and justice, lecturing them on what is right and good and cooperating rather little when it comes to making morally questionable decisions, the mage messes with everyone and everyone messes with the mage, who reacts like a furious snake because he’s aware that without him they would not make it to the corner alive, and in the absence of a real culprit, his fangs always end up stuck in his poor twin - an actual cinnamon roll, an example of the most tragic Stockholm syndrome -; the barbarians distrust everyone but they have no choice but to get along with them, the kender is, if possible, the most chaotic element of the group, whose burden and responsibility are passing each other as if they could really control him somehow; all of them led by a half-elf with remorse of conscience because he’s a disbelieving atheist who cannot even make up his own mind about if he feels elf, feels human, feels everything or feels nothing, and is not able to choose if he is in love with the elf girl or of the human girl, having enough work with babysitting this sociopathic group. Anyway. A delight for the senses.

Already experts in handling such a bunch of misfits, Weis and Hickman make you laugh hard at the interactions between them. In the Chronicles it wasn’t yet quite funny - especially if you hadn’t gotten used to Raistlin's mood, whom you’ve to swallow in little doses like a bitter medicine - but here, you’ve a great time! The knight annoying the mage, the mage messing with the knight, the two messing with the dwarf, the dwarf messing with everyone, the kender in the middle messing around... it seems incredible that these people saved the world, right? Well, they did! And even though they can’t totally get along, without a single one of them it would not have been possible. There, the greatness of the story.

I don't want to wind up much more. In this volume, the authors take the opportunity to correct other failures their original narrative had, such as devoting more attention to Riverwind, who plays a fantastic role as leader of the refugees - at the cost of casting a shadow over Goldmoon and therefore obtaining the inverse result of the original trilogy - and also, to pay a little more attention to poor Tika - the most human and perhaps most relatable of them all, although unfortunately she’s forgotten, like Goldmoon, halfway through the book - and above all, pay much more attention to Flint Fireforge, the dwarf, who’s really the main character of the book, and who finds himself faced with a moral dilemma: recover the sacred relic of the dwarves, the Hammer of Kharas, and hide it from his own people to take it to the Knights of Solamnia and therefore be used as an artifact to solve the war and give the world in danger of destruction a chance; or willingly return it to the dwarf nation and risk losing it to the cause.

5 stars. Great. Fantastic. It’s not boring for a single moment, there is no tedious, long or unnecessary part, the characters are genuinely themselves, the plot is better written and the style much improved. In short: it seems that time has not passed at all, or rather, it has passed, but for good. Highly recommended for Dragonlance fans and especially for those who are already familiar with the Chronicles. You will not regret it.

Geez, I need to shorten these reviews.

#dragonlance #books #margaret weis #tracy hickman #dragons of the dwarven depths #reviews #my reviews

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paper-girls · 5 years ago

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Everywhen pt. 1 - Jae (Day6)

Everywhen - all the time; always

Pairing: Jae (Day6) x f!reader

Warnings: FLUFF!!!, best friends to lovers, college au, angst???, swearing, crackheadedness

Word count: 2.5k

Masterlist

a/n: this took less time than I expected. It’ll be a series, so keep your eyeballs peeled for part 2!

PART 1┇PART 2┇PART 3

ʕ •ᴥ•ʔ

1997 - first day of grade one

It was your first day of grade one. Surrounding you in the school yard, there were parents crying as they sent their children off into the educational institution for the first time, embarrassed children begging their parents to stop crying, and teachers talking to parents. The principal came out and called for everyone to find their new class using the lists on the wall. Walking over to the lists with your parents, you found your new classroom. Sending a nervous smile to your parents and giving them one last hug, you entered and found your name on a desk.

Once you had taken out your crayons and were colouring contentedly, a boy sat down beside you. Jaehyung his name card said, not that you could read it given you were in grade one.

“Hi! I’m Jae,” said the boy with a big, goofy smile on his face.

“My name is y/n,” you said, remembering how your mother taught you to introduce yourself. “Do you want to be friends?”

Let’s be best friends!”

“Forever?”

“Forever!”

2002 - last day of grade five

“...and that you be as successful in middle school as you were here,” your principal finally concluded. With the end of her speech, names were called for people to come on stage and collect their diplomas. When that was over, awards were handed out along with a few more speeches. Finally, finally, you and the rest of the graduating class were released into the waiting arms of your proud parents and relatives.

“Y/n!” A voice called and you turned to see Jae sprinting towards you, family in tow, stopping to catch his breath once he was in front of you. “We did it!”

“Only seven more years to go,” You grumped, wishing you could be free from the hell that is the school system.

“Oh, don’t be such a sourpuss,” Jae teased, lightly poking you. “Where’re your parents?”

“They went over to the food tables.”

“Oooo! There’re snacks!”

After eating your fill at the snack tables, you and Jae wandered off towards the climber in the corner of the school yard. Climbing on top of the monkey bars, you and Jae sat next to each other, laughing about something that happened in grade three.

Talking a moment to pause, Jae asked “we’re still gonna be best friends in middle school, right?”

“Of course,” you replied without hesitation, thinking it was silly for him to even think of you two not being best friends. You’ve been best friends forever! Your house was his house, and vice versa! Your families knew each other, and your moms were basically best friends, too! Of course you’d still be friends in middle school! What a stupid question.

“Just checking to make sure you won’t ditch me for someone else.”

2003 - November of grade seven

“Why are you friends with a boy,” your friend Kira asked, standing with you in the school yard. “Don’t you know boys have cooties?”

“He’s my best friend, and he doesn’t have cooties,” you replied. “That’s just stupid.”

“I just think it’s weird.”

“What’s weird,” Jae asked, walking up to you and Kira. “You ready to go?”

“Nothing,” you respond, picking up your lunch box. “Lets go.”

Walking home together was the norm for the both of you. Jae’s house was far away and his parents worked late, so he would come to your house, do homework, eat dinner, and hang out with you and your family until one of his parents or his older sister could pick him up.

“Kira says boys have cooties,” you explained to Jae, sitting in your living room, homework spread out around the two of you.

“That’s dumb,” Jae said, distracted by the paper in front of him. “What’s eight times four?”

2004 - October of grade eight

It was around this time when everyone in your class had a “boyfriend” or a “girlfriend” and was having their first kisses. You, on the other, had no such thing. Unsurprisingly, neither did Jae. “I’m waiting for someone special,” he would say every time one of his friends asked. “I just don’t like anyone enough to kiss them.”

Strangely, his statement hurt you. What about you? Were you not special enough for a first kiss? Am I that unkissable?

You decided to ask him.

“Am I unkissable,” you asked him one day at lunch.

“No, why’re you asking me,” Jae replied, looking up from his sandwich.

“It’s just - no one seems to want to date me,” you said, crestfallen. “It made me think that maybe no one wants to date me because I’m unkissable.”

“Listen, all of these ‘relationships’ last less than a week and the guys are just trying to get laid.”

“Oh.”

“Yeah,” he said taking a bite of his sandwich. “If it means that much to you, I’ll be your first kiss. If you want, of course.”

Well. That was unexpected.

2005 - grade eight after winter break

When you went back to school after winter break, you were absolutely dismal. Not only did you have to go back to this hell, but you haven’t spoken to Jae for two weeks. Over break, you had been with family and Jae had been in Buenos Aires, so keeping contact was a little difficult (though you did receive a postcard).

Walking through the doors of you classroom, you spotted Jae instantly. Upon seeing you, your best friend stood up and yanked you into a bear hug, crushing your ribs and lungs.

“Jae-can’t-breathe-“ You spluttered out, him releasing you from the bone-crushing hug.

“How was your break,” Jae asked.

“It was okay. I got your postcard!”

“Did you like the picture?”

“It was really pretty. Where was it taken?”

“Plaza de Mayo. You’re prettier, though.”

Hold up. Jae, your best friend since forever just said. That you, y/n, are pretty. Prettier than Plaza de Mayo, one of the most beautiful places you’ve ever seen.

While you processed his statement, Jae handed you a rather large gift bag with colourful tissue paper stuffed inside. “This is for you.”

Shaking yourself out of thought, you took the bag from him and pulled out the tissue paper. Inside there was a wooden box.

“Open it,” Jae encouraged. “It’s not cursed. Probably.”

Shooting him a weak glare, you reached in a pulled the box out of the bag. The box itself was the size of a small shoe box and made of a dark hardwood. Practically buzzing with excitement, Jae urged you to open it. Proceeding with caution and curiosity, you lifted the lid and peered inside, a jumble of random trinkets meeting your eyes.

“What’s all this,” you ask with a laugh.

“They’re things I found in the markets that reminded me of you,” Jae explained, cheeks turning a rosy colour.

Pulling out a small wooden fish, you ask why it reminds Jae of you.

“Remember when we went fishing and you caught a fish? You cried so much because you thought you’d killed it even though it was still flopping around!”

“Oh yeah,” you admitted, bashfully. Pulling out a smaller box covered in red fabric, you asked what it was.

“Open it,” was all Jae said.

So you did. Sitting inside on a cushion of the same red fabric, lay a necklace with a gold chain and a gold charm of half a heart. Gasping, you gently extracted the delicate jewelry. “Jae!”

“It’s a friendship charm,” Jae explained, bringing the other half of the heart out of his shirt. “I have the other half.”

“Why?”

“So we can always be together.”

2005 - November of grade nine

“What’re you doing this Friday,” asked Cody, the guy currently in front of you, attempting to ask you on a date. He was okay looking and somewhat popular, but you just weren’t interested in him at all.

“I have plans.” You did not have plans.

“Another time, maybe?”

Boy he was persistent. “I’ll let you know when I’m free.”

“Oh, okay. See you around, then.”

Thank god he’s gone, you thought, walking to your next class. Taking your seat, Jae plops down on the connected table, smile on his face.

“What did Cody want?”

“I dunno. He asked if I was free on Friday.”

“And?”

“I told him I have plans.”

“Do you?”

“Pft. No.”

“Okay. Cool. See you.” Jae hopped off your desk, still smiling and shooting you some finger guns.

That’s weird, you thought. Usually Jae stayed at your desk until the teacher told hime to move. Maybe he wants to hang out on Friday.

Friday came and you and Jae made the trek to his house (his tv is better).

“So, wait. You never got your first kiss,” Jae asked, completely shocked. “I thought - what about Matthew?”

“Nope,” you said, popping the p. Matthew had been your “boyfriend” for two weeks in grade eight. Jae had been right about the guys just trying to get laid, so you dumped his ass before you’d had the chance to kiss him.

“If you’re ready to take me up on my offer from grade eight, it still stands,” Jae said, ears turning bright red.

“I mean,” you said lost in the thought that it might not be so bad to kiss him, but worried it would affect your relationship.

Jae leaned in and, not seeing an objection from you, gently pressed his lips to yours.

Once he pulled away, you remembered how to breathe and briefly wondered when you had stopped walking.

“Sorry, I just thought that-“ Jae started to say, you cutting him off.

“Don’t apologize. I didn’t hate it, and at any rate, I should be thanking you for getting it over with.”

“So we’re still friends?”

“No.” A worried look crossed Jae’s face. “We’re best friends.”

2006 - September of grade ten

“What’re you doing this weekend?” Jae’s voice asked over the phone.

“Literally, nothing,” you replied, bored with your own mediocrity. “I kinda wish I’d made plans or something.”

“Well, do you wanna come over and maybe have a two day sleepover? My sister’s staying at her boyfriend’s and my parents are going on a mini vacation to a beach resort or something, so we’ll have the house to ourselves.”

“Oh! That sounds really fun, actually,” you respond, looking forward to long awaited time with your best friend. “What should I bring?”

“Snacks, clothes, toiletries, parent permission, and a will to live!”

After asking your parents, who easily agreed because it was Jae, and waiting not so patiently for Friday to arrive, you were walking up the steps to Jae’s house, ready for three days of fun with your bestie.

Ringing the front doorbell, you heard frantic footsteps approach from the other side of the thick wooden door. Swinging open with a loud cry of “y/n!” and a bone-crushing hug, you were pulled inside, barely waving “bye” to your parents.

“C’mon in! The parents are gone, the sister has left, and you, my dear y/n, have arrived to casa de Park!” Jae exclaimed, already wearing his favourite yellow pajama bottoms.

Shortly following your spectacular arrival, you and Jae were sprawled out across the living room floor in your pajamas, surrounded by blankets, and happily munching on the pizza dinner Jae’s older sister had ordered him before leaving (”Jae, aren’t you lactose intolerant?” “It’ll be fine, probably!” it was not fine).

At one point, you decided to build a blanket fort in the living room to continue watching your Disney movie marathon in the utmost comfort and eventually fall asleep in. While Jae was building said blanket fort (”Aren’t you gonna help, y/n?” “Nah, someone’s gotta chose what we watch.”), you were looking through his collection of Disney movies, deciding on The Lion King. Following the blanket fort construction, you made an executive decision to get ready for bed, not that you would actually sleep.

Brushing your teeth in the upstairs bathroom, you reflected on your movie night thus far. 1) The Lion King was not your favourite Disney movie, The Little Mermaid being your preference. 2) Popcorn is the food of the gods, ‘nuff said. 3) Jae was acting strange. Whenever you tried to snuggle against him like normal, he would shift away or make an excuse to get up.

Lost in thought and washing your face, you didn’t hear the sneaky footsteps of your best friend coming up behind you. Jae, taking this opportunity to scare you shitless, did so by tasering you with his hands and yelling “boo!” at the top of his lungs.

Shrieking, you whipped around to beat him for being an ass. Jae ran off yelling “you can’t hit a guy with glasses!” repeatedly, running and hiding from your rage all around the house.

When the two of you finally made peace and were settled in the fluffy comforts of the blanket fort, you went back to your Disney movie marathon until you fell asleep, Jae finally letting you lay your head on him and snuggle closer. You fell into a deep sleep, legs intertwined with your favourite person on the planet.

2008 - March of grade eleven

By now, you’ve had a long-term boyfriend. His name was Jordan and he was absolutely perfect in your eyes.

Jae hated his guts.

Whenever you had, time you would invite both of them over, only for Jae to ask if “Jordy boy” would be there and cancel if he was. As you and Jae spent less and less time together, an odd void began to form in your heart. Wether it was from missing the company of your best friend or something else you hadn’t quite figured out yet, it still hurt to not have Jae around you.

After a few months and a “long distance relationship” over winter break, you and Jordan broke up. Jae, being the amazing and caring best friend he was, saw how devastated you were and spent more and more time with you, seemingly to forget your months of negligence.

Secretly, Jae was happy you and Jordan broke up, deeming him an unacceptable guy for you to date (”He smells like Axe body spray.” “His locker’s a mess.” “I don’t like the way he talks to you, like he’s looking down on you.” etc.) and wanting more time with just the two of you. Not to mention the fact that he may or may not like you as more than a friend. He never made a move on you, concerned you wouldn’t reciprocate, and instead tried to put a limit on the physical affection between the two of you.

2009 - grade twelve graduation

“...you will go forth into this great, big, beautiful, blue Earth and make a difference! I wish you, our future, all the best on your chosen paths in life. Go forth and have no fear!” with the end of the principal’s speech, the crowd of gathered parents, the graduating class, and other family and friends erupted in cheers. Caps were thrown into the air, friends embraced each other, families yelled words of congratulations.

In all the ruckus, you and Jae were clinging to each other, crying tears of joy into the other’s shoulder.

“We did it,” you whispered, trying not to let out more sobs.

“Only university left to go,” Jae teased, recalling your primary school graduation seven years earlier. You gently hit his arm, which was still encircling your body.

Still intertwined, you exit the school gymnasium with hopes and dreams for a once distant future, fulfilled at last.

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bestwatchmoviesseriesonline-blog · 4 years ago

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10 Best Movies to Watch During Christmas Holidays

Great thing about the product quality holiday movies is that you never get tired of them! I've compiled listing of my favorite films for the 'season of love and understanding ', whilst the song says. I'm aware all of these movies won't interest everyone, but at the very least I am hoping you'll find some of one's favorites included.

It is a Wonderful Life (1946) On Christmas Eve, a man down on his luck wishes he was never born and contemplates suicide. He's rescued by his guardian angel, who shows him what his friends and loved ones could be like without him...

This Frank Capra's ('Arsenic and Old Lace') classic is known as one of the very inspirational films ever and is really a traditional Christmas favourite worldwide because the 1970's. Interestingly, it had been a box-office flop during the time of its release! To be honest, I can't see why - is has touching story, memorable sing-a-long ending and masterful James Stewart ('Rear Window') in the leading role.

A Groundhog Day (1993) Cynical and self-centered TV meteorologist, while covering the story of the weather forecasting groundhog, gets stuck in time. In the beginning he takes advantageous asset of the specific situation, but soon he decides to create some changes as he starts to fall in love with his co-worker...

I think the very best romantic comedy for holiday season! Bill Murray ('Lost in Translation'), who's nothing significantly less than perfect in his role, shares great chemistry with lovely Andie MacDowell ('Four Weddings and a Funeral'). Even though you watch this movie lying in bed with high fever and cough, like Used to do last year, you will enjoy it anyway!

A Christmas Carol (1984) Miserly and sullen old man is taught the actual meaning of Christmas by ghosts who visit him on Christmas Eve and show him their own past, present and future. He realizes he's nothing good to expect in the foreseeable future unless he changes his ways...

Made for television drama is i think the very best and essentially the most faithful adaptation of Charles Dickens'novel, that has been adapted numerous times. This classic tale, set in Victorian England, with late George C. Scott ('Dr. Strangelove') as Ebeneezer Scrooge, will surely put you in the Christmas mood, but the powerful message it carries can be applied to all seasons!

The Nightmare Before Christmas (1993) Pumpkin King of Halloweentown is bored of accomplishing the same every Halloween. One day as he's walking into a wood he stumbles onto Christmas Town. Intrigued with the complete idea of the holiday, he decides to kidnap Santa and do Christmas himself...

Tim Burton, who became known for his darkish but original fables such as for example'Edward Scissorhands'or'Big Fish'directed this animated musical fantasy. It had been a massive success at the box offices and praised by critics for the stunning originality and visual excellence. In 2006. this film got the complete new dimension when it had been re-released into theaters in Digital 3-D.

Die Hard (1988) Prior to Christmas, New York City detective is here in L.A. to pay holiday together with his wife and children. Unfortunately, a group of terrorists has bought out Nakatomi Corporation building and is holding all employees hostages, including detective's wife...

For people who can't do without action thrillers during Christmas holidays, this is probably the best choice. John McTiernan's ('The Search for Red October') classic features exciting action sequences, memorable one-liners and a break through movie ดูหนัง role for Bruce Willis ('RED'), which sent this actor to the A-list Hollywood stardom.

Bad Santa (2003) An unhappy con-artist and his friend, a midget, are intending to rob department stores on Christmas Eve posing as Santa and his Little Helper. While they proceeding with the master plan,'Santa'befriends among their customers, an overweight and lonesome boy...

This Santa is truly bad! He chases women, he drinks heavily and swears about every 3 seconds. But we also learn that beneath the outer lining he hides a heart of gold. Certainly not a video suitable for kids, but if you're adult give this quirky comedy a opportunity for its different approach and great performance by Billy Bob Thornton ('The Astronaut Farmer').

A Christmas Story (1983) America in 1940's. A long time before PlayStation and iPad, 9-year-old boy longs for Red Rider BB gun. He tries to convince his family and Santa the gun would have been a perfect Christmas gift, but everyone keeps warning him that he'll shoot his eye out...

This family comedy, predicated on Jean Shepherd's semi-autobiographical stories, may be worth watching for many hilarious scenes and its reputation as the maximum American holiday movie of time. Peter Billingsley, who played the little boy, has become successful Hollywood producer, in charge of creating hits like'The Break Up'and'Iron Man '.

The Chronicles of Narnia: The Lion, the Witch & the Wardrobe (2005) Four siblings are sent to the nation estate during World War II. Playing a game title of hide-and-seek, the youngest daughter discovers a wardrobe which transports her to Narnia, the magical land with eternal winter but without Christmas, ruled by the evil White Witch...

I've been loving this fable since I had watched 80's tv series version inside my winter holidays. The newest adaptation of C.S. Lewis'book, is aimed mostly at younger audience, but it could be enjoyed by whoever has some adventurous spirit inside! This film was followed by sequel'Prince Caspian'in 2008.

Elf (2003) An individual orphan is located by Santa Claus and raised by elves on the North Pole. When naive adult'elf''discovers he's actually an individual, he decides to attend his host to birth, New York City, in search of his real father, who's on Santa's naughty list...

The clash od two cultures - human and elfish - produces many laughs in this family oriented comedy. Obviously, a great part of the credits for laughter goes to leading actor, famous comedian Will Farrell ('The Other Guys') and veteran James Caan ('The Godfather'), playing main protagonist's biological father.

Scrooged (1988) A mean television executive, who will do anything just to increase his network's ratings, even it indicates forcing his office staff to sort out Christmas Eve, gets visits from three ghosts -

The Ghost of Christmas Past, Present and Future... I couldn't resist to place another, modernized and humorous version of'A Christmas Carol'on the list, because this is what's'Scrooged'all about. Once more, Bill Murray is excellent in his role, this time as media world Scrooge in a satire with great special effects, directed by Richard Donner ('Lethal Weapon').

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amphtaminedreams · 5 years ago

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50 Films You’ve Got to Watch

Hi to anyone who’s reading,

I thought I’d take a break from the fashion posts to ramble on about something else that I’m really interested in for a hot minute. And I say ramble with intent, because I do go ON.

The topic is film and I thought that I’d make a list of my 50 must watches. These are movies that I feel had the biggest impact on me which means, yes, I do have tattoos referring to a couple of them, lol. My genre of choice is usually horror and although there has been a bit of a “horror renaissance” and a shift towards prioritising good quality storylines over jump scares in recent years, on the whole, they typically aren’t the most highbrow films out there, so there aren’t THAT many on this list. Most of the horror films I listed are just genuinely good quality rather than a straight-up gorefest or anything too terrifying, however, I’m not that easily scared so if you did fancy watching any of the films I mentioned, take that with a slight pinch of salt!

Also, this isn’t anything to take too seriously. I really like movies and cinema but I’m also not a movie critic and this is more of a hobby than something I want to pursue. Like, I’m completely aware of how unrealistic working in TV or film is as a career if your family isn’t loaded. Very aware. Painfully aware you could say (imagine me sighing as I’m writing this). That being said, part of me does want to do a ranking of every film I’ve seen in 2019 at some point this year, so if anybody else is interested in this kinda thing let me know!

Lauren x

50 Films You’ve Got to Watch:

1. Black Swan (2010)

“I felt it. Perfect. It was perfect.”

I watched Black Swan years ago now and I still remember how disturbing I found it and how exciting that was to me. I was probably a bit too young (young enough that my mum felt it necessary to cover my eyes during the Natalie Portman/Mila Kunis sex scene, lol) but even then I could recognise that it was a beautifully haunting film and Darren Aronofsky has gone on to be one of my favourite directors.

2. Jennifer’s Body (2009)

“And now, I'm eating your boyfriend. See? At least I'm consistent.”

Engrave it on my tombstone: JENNIFER’S BODY DESERVED BETTER. I fully believe that if this movie was released in 2019, it wouldn’t have faced half the criticisms it did back in 2009. It genuinely was ahead of its time. Megan Fox? As a boy-eating, demonic cheerleader? And Amanda Seyfried? Some of the most ICONIC DIALOGUE EVER? It should’ve invented a GENRE. Instead it got paid DUST. Yes, when I write in caps lock, my internal voice is YELLING. I feel passionately about this, okay?!

3. La La Land (2016)

“I guess I'll see you in the movies.”

Again, maybe it’s a basic film bitch opinion to have but I adored La La Land. I saw it at the cinema and spent the last 20 minutes of the film sobbing, only to find my mum and sister distinctly underwhelmed. I indignantly ranted back then to them how perfect a film it was and I’m going to do the same thing now so if you are reading and you didn’t like it, then you should probably just move on because I wouldn’t want to read myself banging on about Emma Stone again for several paragraphs either (don’t worry, I’ll try and keep it to one). I can’t help it. This film was just TOO REAL! Like, in every way but the actual plot and characters, La La Land has the dreamlike quality of a fairytale. The colours are rich and thick and always complimentary, the musical sequences are either like Disney songs or lullabies, and Emma and Ryan Gosling are made for each other. But then life and ambitions and resentments get in the way. And that’s the real part! That’s why it’s so bloody good!

4. Easy A (2010)

“People thought I was a dirty skank? Fine. I’d be the dirtiest skank they’d ever seen.”

And so we arrive at the movie that actually began my love affair with Emma Stone. Iconic. Iconic in every way. The bad reputation montage is cinematic excellence. For real, though, this is so underrated as a coming of age movie. Like don’t get me wrong, Mean Girls is everything (I easily could’ve included it on this list but I feel like it’s just a given that anyone who grew up in the noughties loves that film) but Easy A deserves just as much credit. It has Penn Badgley, one of the few celebrity males I care about! Amanda Bynes! Aly Michalka! Lisa Kudrow! Did I mention Emma Stone?

5. Kill Bill (2003)

“Now, if any of you sons of bitches got anything else to say, now's the fucking time!”

If I had to put any of these films as my singular favourite, it would probably be the first Kill Bill. Controversial, I know; even my dad introduced it to me as the weaker of the two. To list any Quentin Tarantino movie as the one that inspired you to want to be a director is probably a very cliche film student thing to say BUT I’m not a film student and I’ve put my directing pipe dream permanently to one side, thus, coming from me it’s not as hackneyed a statement. Or so I tell myself, lol. Basically, I was in awe of Kill Bill from start to finish. The colourisation is a dream, from the crazy 88 scene to the final fight between The Bridge and O Ren Ishii, and I particularly remember loving the animation sequence despite that not really being my kinda thing. I was just so impressed with how seamlessly something so out of place, considering the live action format of the rest of the film, fit in with everything else; even the scenes that should be absurd instead work with the comic book style narrative. Uma Thurman is of course amazing and iconic af but Lucy Liu as O Ren Ishii is my favourite thing about this film and the line I chose gave me all the bad bitch energy I need to, I think, get me through the rest of my time on this planet. If not, the tattooed version of this still I have on my arm should hopefully do the job. Yep, I truly ascended to a divine level of basic film hoe with that life choice.

6. Marie Antoinette (2006)

“This, Madame, is Versailles.”

The first Sofia Coppola film on this list, I love this woman’s work to death. Regardless of the content she’s working with, the end result always gives me the feeling I’m watching an extended music video. They always have this almost dreamlike quality to them and everything from the colour palette to the camera movements to the soundtrack in Marie Antoinette is tied together perfectly.

7. Mother! (2017)

“You never loved me. You just loved how much I loved you.”

I was tense throughout the entirety of Mother. As a socially anxious, obsessively tidy control freak, this whole film was like something from one of my nightmares; think unwanted house party on crack. I was mentally screaming along with Jennifer Lawrence for all of those people to get out, whilst simultaneously just staring at her face because she is so fucking gorgeous! Even when she’s completely lost it! Totally unrealistic but it makes for some really pretty shots! And then there’s the ending which left me kind of like “what the fuck did I just watch?” Which is what Darren Aronofsky films do best. They’re terrifying but also quite beautiful and Mother is no exception.

8. Gerald’s Game (2017)

“Everybody's got a little corner in there somewhere. A button they won't admit they want pressed.”

I finally got round to watching this for the first time the other day and I absolutely loved it. It probably helps that the last Stephen King adaptation I saw was Pet Sematary, so despite the praise this got at the time, my expectations weren’t super high, but I think this really is a perfect horror film. It’s clever, doesn’t rely on jump scares, and the creepy scenes that are in there really get under your skin. It drags a little in the middle though it’s beautifully shot, acted and has one of the few “body horror” scenes in a horror that’s actually made me cringe.

9. A Beautiful Mind (2001)

“I think that's what it's like with all our dreams and our nightmares, Martin, we've got to keep feeding them for them to stay alive.”

I don’t want to say too much about this film and spoil the plot, so I’ll just say that it’s incredible. Devastatingly sad but also wonderfully hopeful at the same time, and solidified my interest in psychology! I could watch Jennifer Connelly all day.

10. Alien (1979)

“This is Ripley, last survivor of the Nostromo, signing off.”

As a horror fan, I don’t think I need to explain why this film’s on the list. It’s been raved about and video essayed and called a pioneer of the genre ad nauseam. Again, not that this is really anything new but part of what I love about this movie is the context of its release and success; before Sigourney Weaver’s portrayal of Ellen Ripley, it was a rare occurrence to have a female protagonist in an action-based movie. Alien really paved the way for women to take up space in a previously male-dominated genre.

11. 10 Cloverfield Lane (2016)

“Crazy is building your ark after the flood has already come.”

I saw this for the first time at the cinema and pretty much went in blind. I hadn’t seen Cloverfield but I love Mary Elizabeth Winstead (Final Destination 3 was always my favourite of the franchise, lol) and there wasn’t really anything else on worth seeing, so my sister and I chose this and it was an experience. Like, of all the films on this list, this is probably the one that had me most on edge and I’m not sure watching it on your laptop on Putlocker will do it justice. You need the curtains pulled to, the volume way up and complete silence.

12. American Psycho (2000)

“Try getting a reservation at Dorsia now, you fucking stupid bastard!”

There isn’t a dull moment in American Psycho. Every line is quotable and every scene is straight to the point. I feel like this film is a masterclass in that Stanley Kubrick quote about editing where he says he liked to get rid of everything that was not absolutely vital to advancing the plot or the audience’s understanding of the character in any way. Plus, the ending is trippy af! Or maybe I’m just a bit oblivious to something that was quite obvious throughout, who knows. Either way, what the final scenes really mean are fun to think about.

13. The Descent (2005)

“I'm an English teacher, not fucking Tomb Raider.”

Okay, so I literally just watched this the other day and had to begrudgingly remove Silent Hill to make space for it (I KNOW it was critically panned and I KNOW the video game is better but I liked the visuals, OKAY!?) because The Descent is truly one of the best horror films I’ve ever seen. Before we even get to the supernatural element of the creatures, which are genuinely creepy for once, there’s a party bag of other phobia-inducing sequences that had me emotionally exhausted within the first half hour alone. Claustrophobia, darkness, heights, actual cringeworthy body horror, The Descent has something for everyone. The way it utilises space (or lack of for that matter) and darkness and panicked camera pans makes you feel as if you are really down in the cave with the characters. To add to that, I was actually rooting for all of them too; it probably helped that they were English rather than the typical American slasher cast but I found them to be a believable and likeable group of women. I truly did want them all to get out alive *spoilers*, which only made the ending all the more devastating and although the general narrative is quite predictable, the way in which things get wrapped up left just the right amount of shocks and questions to leave you reeling.

14. Eighth Grade (2018)

“Gucci.”

No film has ever captured what it’s like having social anxiety during “high school” (it’s called secondary school here in England, I know, but you get me) better than Eighth Grade. A tribute to the feeling of never quite fitting in and wishing you knew how to do what everyone else seems to be able to do naturally, it encapsulates that awkwardness with an accuracy that is really impressive considering that 1. it’s Bo Burnham’s first film, and 2. he’s not...like...a 13 year old girl. It is just as funny as it is sad and Elsie Fisher is great and so, so believable. Girl should’ve won some kind of Oscar.

15. American Beauty (1999)

“I don't think that there's anything worse than being ordinary.”

I wavered on whether or not to include this film on the list due to the Kevin Spacey controversy and decided that I had to with the disclaimer that I watched it quite some time before the stories about him came out and won’t ever watch any of the new things he inevitably ends up doing (because Hollywood has a notoriously short memory when it comes to the actions of disgraced male actors, lol). You can’t deny the amount of talent and skill that went into making a film so graceful and elegant and yet in equal parts unnerving, and I don’t think we should refuse to acknowledge the achievements of everyone else on that set because of Spacey’s behaviour.

16. Bandersnatch (2018)

“The past is immutable, Stefan. No matter how painful it is, we can't change things. We can't choose differently with hindsight. We all have to learn to accept that.”

As I was watching/playing through Bandersnatch, I didn’t necessarily love it. I think I’m echoing a common sentiment when I say that I was kinda confused. I was desperately trying to *spoiler* avoid the option of the protagonist murdering their dad (he seemed like a nice guy!?) but somehow always ended up there by their logic. So I watched most of the endings and then I went on and busied myself for the rest of the evening. AND I COULDN’T STOP THINKING ABOUT IT. One minute I was completely deluding myself into believing the whole parallel universes thing was true and that I should test it out (don’t ask), and then the next I was thinking how disturbing it was that we’d been basically been inside the head of a person experiencing a mental breakdown severe enough for them murdering their dad, who had only ever wanted to help when you think about it objectively, to seem rational. The confusion started making sense within the context of the experience of the protagonist and our role as the audience and though I hadn’t realised it at the time, I’d been completely absorbed in the episode. Maybe the confusion wasn’t intentional, maybe I’m giving Charlie Brooker too much credit based on the recent couple of series of Black Mirror BUT I can’t deny that Bandersnatch left a huge mark on me, and after all, this is the man who wrote White Christmas.

17. Get Out (2017)

“White girls. They get you every time.”

Going into this film, I was cocky. I’ve gotten pretty good at predicting what’s going to happen in things, probably just because I watch too much TV, but from the trailer I was sure I knew exactly what was going to happen. And then, I was completely blown away. The ending was SO SMART, in terms of both the within universe storytelling and also the metaphorical narrative/commentary on the way our society treats black men and women. Like those early episodes of Black Mirror, it had me like “how the fuck did Jordan Peele think of that!?”. I can only dream of being as creative in my writing one day. Even little plot points like where the “police” car turns up at the end and your stomach sinks and you realise the intention of that is most likely to help you empathise with what the average African-American person feels in their day to day life when police make themselves present, what with institutional police brutality and racial profiling; it’s clear so much thought went into this script.

18. Ghost Stories (2017)

“It's funny, isn't it? How it's always the last key that unlocks everything.”

I don’t have all too much to say about this one apart from that I love a well-constructed English horror. I feel like it’s something we don’t do all too often and to be honest, I’m struggling to think of many English horror films in the first place. Ghost Stories is a great example of why we need more; it’s smart and spooky and folky without hitting you over the head with all those elements and Andy Nyman is a perfect lead. Love a bit of Martin Freeman too.

19. Girl, Interrupted (1999)

“Crazy isn't being broken, or swallowing a dark secret. It's you, or me, amplified.”

Maybe this is the 13 year old black and white Tumblr girl in me jumping out but I still adore this film. I know it’s not necessarily the most critically well received but Winona Ryder, Angelina Jolie and Brittany Murphy are 3 of my favourite actresses and I do love the script. I also like the way that Borderline Personality Disorder was characterised in Winona’s character Susanna (I’m wavering on whether to call her a character as if I recall correctly the book was based on the author’s real experience) in that it was quite subtle and that she wasn’t portrayed as manipulative, or aggressive or basically, as the villain, which I feel is usually the go-to. It focussed more on the mood aspects and the way that people with BPD tend to latch onto and idealise others, as Susanna does with Lisa, and these are both things that I have personally struggled with in the past.

20. Hereditary (2018)

“All I do is worry and slave and defend you, and all I get back is that fucking face on your face!”

It was hard to find a quote that encapsulated what makes Hereditary so great because so much of it is about what isn’t said, if that makes sense. It’s a lot of pained silences and resentful looks and horrified screams, and doesn’t that sound like a fun time? Honestly, it’s not necessarily, lmao. Shocker. It has you feeling like something awful is about to happen the whole time, deep in the pit of your stomach, but I like that in a film, when it does make you properly feel. Ari Aster gets slow-burning dread just right in his exploration of dysfunctional families and grudges, with a few heart-sinking shocks thrown in for good measure all without overdoing the jump scares. There are a lot of deeply unnerving “supernatural” moments but there are just as many horrifically realistic familial conflict scenes that give you that whole “something is wrong” gut instinct in equal measures. It’s been a year and I’m still so angry that Toni Collette didn’t get an Oscar nomination for her performance, because it was really the perfect opportunity to break down the invisible wall between horror and critical recognition. On a more positive note, I loved Midsommar too (not as much as Hereditary but it was still a trip) and I cannot wait to see what Ari Aster does next. Once again, I’ll be in the cinema on opening night.

21. Heathers (1988)

“Dear Diary, my teen-angst bullshit now has a body count.”

Heathers is iconic in every way: the outfits, the cast, the lines. I mean, the acting can be a bit iffy at times but I honestly think that without Heathers, Jennifer’s Body might never have existed and that’s a world I wouldn’t want to live in. There was so much choice when I was picking a line to summarise why I like it so much and of course, “fuck me gently with a chain saw, do I look like Mother Theresa?” deserves an honourable mention. You almost made it bby. The TV remake? We don’t speak of it.

22. Hot Fuzz (2007)

“The way we see it, it’s all for the greater good.”

It might not be the “artiest” movie ever but I’ve seen Hot Fuzz so many times and it never gets old. Though I used to love it when I was younger purely for the PG-13 gore, now I appreciate it for the absurdity and the ridiculousness and to be honest, the total believability of the plot when it comes to towns ruled by low-key hostile, doddery old white people. I should know, I live in one.

23. Inglourious Basterds (2009)

“You probably heard we ain't in the prisoner-takin' business. We in the killin' Nazi business. And cousin, business is a-boomin’.”

I wish I wasn’t a hoe for Quentin Tarantino films (I’ve felt personally attacked by many a poundlandbandit starter pack) but I am. The breakneck pacing, the tongue in cheek dialogue and the gore all make this one of my ultimate favourites. Also, I have a huge crush on Melanie Laurent. Yes, it’s the French accent. No, I don’t know the mechanics of how that works. I hear someone speak French and I want to marry them! I can’t help it!

24. Ingrid Goes West (2017)

“Are you actually insane?”

This seems like a random choice to have on the list seeing as it was never really that hyped up, nor did it receive masses of critical acclaim. It did get positive reviews but that was about it. However, as soon as I saw the trailer, I knew I had to see it. Months, and an £8 purchase from HMV later, I finally got to watch Ingrid Goes West and I loved every moment of it. Whilst Aubrey Plaza’s character, I feel, is an exploration of a lot of young women’s insecurities and self-doubts and fears, blown up to monstrous proportions (or maybe just mine, lol), and a 90 minute film about that doesn’t sound all that revolutionary, this one is as intense as it is stylish and darkly comedic and that’s what puts it on the map for me.

25. Insidious (2011)

“I like to call them travellers.”

So this film scared the ever-living SHIT out of me when I was younger and though I now consider horror my favourite genre and watch it on the regular with absolutely no qualms, 13 year old me was (not to use the world lightly) mildly traumatised. I genuinely couldn’t be home alone by myself or sleep at night without thinking the old woman ghost from the beginning was outside my room for a good 6 months or so. Like it literally exacerbated an already present sleep disorder to the point where my understandably frustrated-at-being-woken-up-nightly-by-her-panicking-daughter mother got me referred for CBT (to reflect on a time when I didn’t know what CBT or CAMHS was is…blissful, lol). And maybe because of that, in my mind, I still conceptualise it as one of the very few horror movies that has actually scared me, hence its place on the list. That scene where we first see that Star Wars looking red faced devil? I’d probably still nope out even now.

26. It Follows (2014)

“It could look like someone you know or it could be a stranger in a crowd. Whatever helps it get close to you.”

There’s not too much to say about It Follows, other than that it’s a good horror film and more importantly just a really good film. I feel it’s a crucial, early part of this warmly welcomed horror renaissance we are now fully in the thick of where writers are focussing less on making people gasp and more on actual good quality cinema. It’s a simple concept that leaves enough room for you to ask your own questions whilst still feeling somewhat complete, and not annoyingly open-ended. The shots are good, the characters are normal enough to be believable, and the colour palette is Fincher-esque; the muted tones perfectly complement the feelings of dread that run throughout. Whilst you don’t need to be concerned with what the whole thing is a metaphor of in order to enjoy the film, the possibility of there being that second reading of the narrative, for me, elevate it to a higher level. In other words, it’s got *Shrek voice* layers.

27. Juno (2007)

“I'm just gonna go ahead and nip this thing in the bud. Cuz you know, they say pregnancy often leads to…you know...an infant.”

I love Ellen Page. I love Michael Cera. Together they are the best thing ever. See, I’m not really much of a rom-com girl but I see this as less of a rom-com and more of a coming of age film with romantic snippets and great one liners. It’s sweet and whimsical and funny but also really fucking real in parts, and it’s definitely what I would consider a modern classic. If you haven’t watched it already, do!

28. Suspiria (2018)

“Love and manipulation, they share houses very often. They are frequent bedfellows.”

Witches! Ballet dancing! Decapitation! Tilda Swinton! What’s not to love? As soon as I saw the trailer for Suspiria, I knew I had to see it. Creepy but also beautifully shot and scored, it was worth the 8 month wait from the Venice Film Festival and eventual caving and watching on 123Movies after I couldn’t find the DVD on Amazon; I finally got to tick it off my watch list only to like it so much I had to add the original Suspiria back on.

29. Mulholland Drive (2001)

“I hope that I never see that face, ever, outside of a dream.”

Another film which had me like WTF by the end, I really recommend Mulholland Drive for anyone who wants to be vaguely creeped out and extremely confused at the same time. See, I really love a film where you spend the next few hours after watching researching all the different interpretations and reading interviews with the director. That sounds sarcastic, but honestly, I love it. It’s a moody, film-noir style mindfuck of a movie and even after doing my research I’m still quite baffled. That’s the best part.

30. Requiem for a Dream (2000)

“Purple in the morning, blue in the afternoon, orange in the evening.”

It took me a while to get on board with seeing Marlon Wayans in a serious role (I’ve seen White Chicks far too many times, clearly), but once I did, I was into it. To be totally honest, I don’t think there’s a single happy moment in this film; it comes up quite frequently as one of the most disturbing of all time, which I’m sure Aronofsky probably thinks of as another notch on his belt. Whilst imo, that’s quite a grandiose claim, Requiem for a Dream definitely stuck in my mind after I watched it. Even if you’ve never watched the film, the ending sequence is notorious for how fucked up it is and I do think it’s earned the infamy. What stuck out more to me, though, was how purposeful every shot and sequence felt in terms of trying to let you into the character’s states of mind, the short lived bursts of euphoria and the panicked downwards spirals. I think it will always be one of the most compelling films about addiction for highlighting how terrifyingly out of one’s control it can be.

31. Room (2015)

“No one is strong alone.”

This film made me cry buckets. Brie Larson and Jacob Tremblay are wonderful, and everyone involved deserved all the Oscar hype. Every line was so heartfelt and emotive, and I loved Tremblay’s voiceovers. To translate the stream of consciousness of a kid from page to screen in a way that it remains believable in spite of its wisdom (not like those tweets where people try to make out their kid just casually made some off the cuff scathing political jibe at the dinner table) is quite the feat and similarly, I’m in awe of how the director managed to communicate the pain and confusion of the characters on a level that transcended the physical confines of said room. The escape scene had my heart in my mouth. All this being said, I should really read the book because it’s supposed to be even better.

32. Scott Pilgrim Vs. The World (2010)

‘When I'm around you, I kind of feel like I'm on drugs. Not that I do drugs. Unless you do drugs, in which case I do them all the time. All of them.”

Michael Cera and Mary Elizabeth Winstead are two of my favourite actors and so it’s a given that Scott Pilgrim is one of my favourite films. It’s such a fun, easy watch and the video-game inspired directorial style makes it, in terms of cinematography, probably the most memorable Edgar Wright film on this list imo. The concept, based on the graphic novel, is quite a simple one but that doesn’t stop it being entertaining from start to finish. The rest of the cast is great too: Brie Larson, Anna Kendrick, Mae Whitman, Aubrey Plaza and Alison Pill (Ivy from American Horror Story, anyone?) All make appearances, plus Chris Evans. He’s Captain America or something, right?

33. Scream (1996)

“No, please don't kill me, Mr. Ghostface, I wanna be in the sequel!”

The Scream movies were my absolute favourite when I was just getting into “horror” as a 13/14 year old because they were always pretty tame in terms of scares but nonetheless, always a trip. Though, controversially, I’d probably say I enjoyed Scream 4 just as much as the first one (I am a bit of an Emma Roberts stan), I chose the first one purely for how iconic it was and how ahead of its time. It mixed satire and horror in a way that hadn’t really been done in such a mainstream way before and made it possible for films like Cabin in the Woods and The Final Girls to do so well.

34. Shaun of the Dead (2004)

“Take car. Go to Mum's. Kill Phil, sorry, grab Liz, go to the Winchester, have a nice cold pint, and wait for all of this to blow over.”

I’ve seen Shaun of the Dead way, way, way too many times and I’ll still probably watch it again the next time ITV decide to show it too. It makes me laugh, it’s got lots of good gore and it’s easy to follow. The perfect film to put on whilst eating a take away, as long as you’re not too squeamish, lol.

35. Silence of the Lambs (1991)

“Well, Clarice. Have the lambs stopped screaming?”

Jodie Foster’s portrayal of Clarice Starling makes her one of my favourite movie heroines of all time; quietly courageous, she was the type of female lead that really hadn’t cropped up all that much in the films that came before Silence of the Lambs. And despite its problematic handling of certain issues, it’s a fucking incredible film. The thing about Hannibal Lecter is that they don’t have to tell you that he’s always one step ahead, you see it for yourself (the elevator scene!) and so it kinda feels like he’s looking into YOUR soul too. The confrontation at the end between Clarice and Buffalo Bill is one of the most nerve-racking 15 minutes or so of film I’ve ever watched, and if I ever get asked to justify why I’m scared of the dark again, I’m going to point straight to this scene. Yes, I’m a baby but my fears are VALID!

36. Silver Linings Playbook (2012)

“I do this! Time after time after time! I do all this shit for other people! And then I wake up and I'm empty! I have nothing!”

As you can probably tell from my inclusion of Mother! on this list, I love Jennifer Lawrence, and this is probably my favourite drama film of hers. The way that she and Bradley Cooper portray two people struggling with mental illness is refreshingly honest in that it shows it can make you quite an unlikeable person at times, albeit someone who is just trying their best to survive. That being said, in spite of the subject matter it’s still a relatively light and easy-to-watch film. The diner scene in particular is a masterclass in realistic conflict and reaction, and I hate to be “ooo, edgy” but several of the lines did strike a really deep chord.

37. The Babadook (2014)

“Sometimes I just want to smash your head against the brick wall until your fucking brains pop out.”

The best thing that the Babadook does, much like It Follows, is instils a sense of deep seated dread in you before you even see the supernatural forces at work. The washed out colour palette, apparent emotional disconnect of Jennifer Kent’s (who also directs!) character, and the disorienting movements of the camera all help to create a lingering unease that is just as effective as the grossly uncanny appearance of the monster/ghost/creature/whatever-you-want-to-call-it himself. It’s obvious that Kent had a very clear vision of the story she wanted to tell and even more so that she is a very talented woman; I hope to see even more female directed horror films in the future if the Babadook is anything to go by. The way this film blurred the lines between the inner struggles of a grieving family and the outside supposedly paranormal influence was unsettling as fuck and to get into the psychology of a mother left on her own to raise a small child and how terrifying that might feel is something only a immensely intuitive and empathetic woman could do. Props to her.

38. The Craft (1996)

“We are the weirdos, mister.”

Not to sound all halloween-is-the-only-day-of-the-year-I-care-about VSCO girl (although that might actually be quite an accurate description of me to be honest), but if there’s one thing that sticks in my mind about the craft, it’s the aesthetic. It’s kind of what I aim to emulate in every aspect of my life, NBD. Seriously, when I was trying to pick a still, I was spoilt for choice. The rituals, the outfits, the witchy interiors; there’s this one GIF of Nancy, Rochelle, Bonnie (and maybe Sarah?) lighting all these gorgeous candles and if I could walk around with it permanently looping on my forehead, I would. And ignoring my shallow reasons for liking The Craft, it’s just a really good film. Nancy Downs is probably one of the most interesting female villains of all time and I’m obsessed with anything that explores magic and the occult. It’s equal parts dark and girly, not to use that in a derivative way at all, in that not only does it teeter on the line of being scary, it’s also a gritty exploration of female friendship, power and jealousy. If you are a halloween-is-the-only-day-of-the-year-I-care-about VSCO girl, definitely watch it; more power to you.

39. The Favourite (2018)

“All I know is, your carriage awaits and my maid is on her way up with something called a pineapple.”

I’d seen The Favourite twice within, like, a month of it being released in British cinemas and I do not have a single regret about that; well, maybe a minor regret in paying over £12 to see it in the Leicester Square Odeon with the assumption that the extra price meant fancy seats (it didn’t), but on the whole, I’m pretty happy with my life choices. Emma Stone, Olivia Colman, and the period Mean Girls comparison drew me in but I came back the second time for the costumes, the dialogue, the editing and Sarah Churchill, Duchess of Marlborough. Or Rachel Weiss, in other words. See, The Favourite is superbly casted in that Yorgos Lanthimos must have known we can’t help but see Emma Stone as the “good girl”/protagonist and so it took me a whole second viewing to see her character for what she really was, and realise The Favourite is in some ways less a story of Abigail Masham’s rise to power and more the tragic disintegration of Sarah and Anne’s relationship. I’m sure you can view the film both ways but to view it as the latter brings a whole new dimension to it and the ending, imo. I’m not gonna lie, I didn’t go into the film expecting some vaguely historical lesbianism and that definitely made for a slightly awkward birthday viewing with my family BUT I wasn’t at all disappointed.

40. The Killing of a Sacred Deer (2017)

“If you dig a hole in the yard, better make it a big one.”

This film is slow-moving, weird and the acting can be stiff at the best of times, and yet somehow all these things add to the (take a shot every time I say-) dread that builds throughout. You don’t know exactly how things are going to end, but you do know it’s not well. Like in his latest directorial entry of The Favourite, Yorgos Lanthimos excels in the realm of the strange and vaguely fantastical through his script, score and cinematography, and so even though the settings are quite mundane, The Killing of a Sacred Deer kind of feels like some macabre modern fairytale, the moral of which I can’t quite work out. I can’t imagine anyone playing Martin more unnervingly than Barry Keoghan and I’m never going to complain about Nicole Kidman, but it’s the imagery of the tears of blood, Steven’s children dragging themselves along the floor and the ending scene that stuck with me long after the film had finished. If you’ve got the patience and you enjoyed the style of The Favourite, there’ll definitely be something positive for you to take away from The Killing of a Sacred Deer.

41. The Orphanage (2007)

“Seeing is not believing. It's the other way around. Believe, and you will see.”

When I was first told by my year 11 Spanish teacher that we were going to be watching The Orphanage in class, I definitely didn’t foresee myself including it in a top 50 films list 5 years later and yet here we are. I mean, I shouldn’t have been surprised really as she did tell us it was good and I had frequently seen it included in lists of the best horror films but as with pretty much anything our teachers would put on as an excuse not to teach for a few lessons (I’m really NOT complaining here, they deserve the break and I would definitely do the same, lol), my expectations were definitely low. Side note, I also since found out that Bilbao seems like a pretty cool place and there was a reason she kept banging on about that too, and so moral of the story, teachers do sometimes have some decent recommendations BUT my assumption was that The Orphanage must be pretty tame for her to show it to us. Parents-even of 16 of year olds-love to complain, lol. And to be fair, it isn’t so much in your face scary so much as it is kind of tragic with an undertone of spooky but I really enjoyed it. I want to say that part of what I enjoyed about it so much was the mystery element but honestly I think a lot of that comes from the fact that it’s in Spanish so I had to work to follow what was actually going on.

42. The Ring (2002)

“I can't imagine being stuck down a well all alone like that. How long could you survive?”

The Ring does visuals better than any other horror. The contorted faces of Samara’s victims, the infamous tape and the shots of the well all have a staple in pop culture for a reason. Whilst I don’t find Samara herself particularly frightening, the lore and mythology surrounding her feels so authentically creepy; the tape in particular reminds me of the kind of weird YouTube video you might stumble across when you’re supposed to be trying to get to bed late at night and instantly hate yourself for watching. Naomi Watts is a compelling lead and though I was probably rooting for Sarah Michelle Gellar in the American remake of the Grudge more (I still low-key associate her with the live-action Scooby-Doo and I have no shame), to compare other noughties horror classics, on the whole The Ring is definitely the better quality movie.

43. The Shawshank Redemption (1994)

“I guess it comes down to a simple choice, really. Get busy living, or get busy dying.”

The Shawshank Redemption is just an unequivocally good film. On paper, it doesn’t necessarily have any of the things that draw me to a movie in it, but it’s brilliantly acted, written and shot. It’s frequently cited as one of the greatest movies of all time and I think that’s a very fair statement.

44. The Shining (1980)

“Wendy? Darling? Light of my life. I'm not gonna hurt ya. You didn't let me finish my sentence. I said, I'm not gonna hurt ya. I'm just going to bash your brains in!”

I love The Shining. In terms of scares, not all that much happens in it, but what we do see (the corpse in the bath tub is fucking horrifying) undoubtedly leaves an impact. The score is so unnervingly perfect that I can still hear the sound that’s made when we see those 2…puppets? Costumed people? Basically some kind of weird furry activity-which believe me, makes sense if you’ve seen it-going on. And I only need to see a still of the Overlook Hotel and I can immediately feel the sense of claustrophobia and growing tension that Stanley Kubrick so effectively communicated. A lot of people shat on Shelley Duvall’s acting at the time and whilst she obviously didn’t match Jack Nicholson’s energy, she did come across as a woman genuinely traumatised which is sad when you do consider the effect that shooting the film had on her. With that aside, The Shining is a massively pivotal part of horror history and I’m very excited to see Doctor Sleep this year!

45. The Virgin Suicides (1999)

“Obviously, Doctor, you've never been a 13-year-old girl.”

It really is a toss up between Marie Antoinette and The Virgin Suicides when it comes to Sofia Coppola’s best film, and so of course I had to include them both. See, whereas Marie Antoinette could be the visual incarnation of an album like Marina and the Diamonds’ Electra Heart or Charli XCX’s Sucker (if you ignore the less than fortunate ending, lmao), The Virgin Suicides plays out more to the tunes of something less bubblegum pop and more breezy and mellow, maybe LDR’s Ultraviolence or Honeymoon. You could say in a way that this film romanticises suicide and you’d definitely have a point, but I think considering the fact that it’s based on a book and was made in a time when we were less aware of the damage popular media can do (I think there’s a similar point to be made about the way the villain of Silence of the Lambs’s gender is portrayed and linked to his motivation), I give it a pass. It does also kind of make sense for the film to take this approach; the Lisbon girls are viewed through the eyes of a group of boys who are infatuated with them but also ultimately know nothing about them. In a way, it’s almost a critique of the way these boys think and a commentary on just how stifling and confusing young womanhood can be. I think it’s a beautiful film and a perfect adaptation of Jeffrey Eugenides’ novel.

46. The VVitch (2015)

“Wouldst thou like to live deliciously?”

Is it sad that I have this quote tattooed on my back? Is it biased for me to say no? Because for me, just as much as the Virgin Suicides is about how stifling society’s expectations of young women and how they are supposed to think and act, The VVitch is about the demonisation of girls who go against this and how liberation and sexual freedom for so long were perceived as the result of some kind of satanic and deeply disturbing force at work rather than individual expressions of freedom and femininity. The ending is HAPPY, okay, and if you take away the misty, barren landscapes and the isolation and the paranoia and the baby eating witches and the accusations and the demonic goats, it’s kinda a dark feminist fairy tale to go against puritan panic. I mean, let’s be honest, *spoilers* Thomasin’s siblings were annoying AF. Not that I’m condoning child murder on any level, but you know. In a narrative context was it really so much of a loss when those little shits got the chop?

47. Thoroughbreds (2017)

“At the end of the day, I have a perfectly healthy brain. It just doesn't contain feelings. And that doesn't necessarily make me a bad person. It just means I have to work a little harder than everybody else to be good.”

I love Olivia Cooke. I love Anya Taylor-Joy. I love concise, cutting dialogue, the idea of middle class American social politics, and a little bit of (fictional, of course) murder thrown in there for good measure. Thus, I really love Thoroughbreds. If you watched it with the sound off, it’d be a Polo Ralph Lauren promotional film that gets really dark at the end, and what’s not to like about that?

48. We Need to Talk About Kevin (2011)

“What are these people watching, people like me?”

I still haven’t got round to reading the book this film was based on and I feel like that’s something I need to get on top of ASAP, because it’s been sitting on my shelf for a long ass time. However, based on the little I know about how faithful a film adaptation it is, I think Ezra Miller and Tilda Swinton were a wonderful pairing, and this is a film that’s all about the characters, so it’s a good job they were so well cast. Miller does a great job at getting right under your skin and answering a lot of my questions about what leads someone to commit the kind of horrific crime that his character, Kevin, does. Arrogance, done subtly, is hard to pull off but he nails it, and Swinton is very, very believable as a haunted, grief-stricken mother wrestling with the natural question of the part she played in her son’s actions and the scrutiny that comes with it. Not only that but from the offset, every part of the cinematography helps to convey the feeling of impending doom that builds right up until the climax. The colour palette in particular, which for the most part doesn’t stray too far from the mundane greys and bleak washed-out tones perhaps reflective of Eva’s state of mind, does a great job of foreshadowing what to come when it quite purposefully does take a diversion. It’s all about the red, apparently. Take note.

49. Whiplash (2014)

“Any fucking moron can wave his arms and keep people in tempo. I was there to push people beyond what's expected of them. I believe that is an absolute necessity.”

You honestly wouldn’t believe that a film about drumming could feel like a horror and yet here Whiplash is, leaving me on the edge of my seat and wincing for, like, 2 hours straight. Tonally it couldn’t be more different from the other Damien Chazelle film on this list (La La Land), and yet it flows just as seamlessly and has his same impeccable rhythm; every word, yell and snarl slots perfectly into place and every swivel of the camera is flawlessly executed. If you’re looking for an intense and fast-paced drama, I can’t recommend Whiplash enough.

50. Zombieland (2009)

“Twelve's the new twenty. Gun please.”

Zombieland has only one fault: that Jesse Eisenberg’s character wasn’t played by Michael Cera. But it has Emma Stone and Woody Harrelson so I’ll let it slide. Not much to say about this one other than it’s a wild ride from start to finish, but simultaneously easy to watch and probably the most lighthearted zombie film out there. Almost like The Hangover or something along those lines, but with the addition of the undead. It’s a hard film not to enjoy and I’m just really hoping they don’t fuck up the sequel.

DISCLAIMER: 90% of these stills are from Filmgrab, it’s an amazing website!

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fuckyeahqueermusic · 5 years ago

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FY!QM’s Favorite Releases of 2019 Part 1

I know you were all waiting with bated breath for my annual list of favorite releases from the year and I apologize for the delay. December and January were trash months at my job and I had zero energy to write, but as of today that is all over! So as a gift to myself I finally finished writing this up. Let’s pretend I just had to think really really hard about my favorites and that’s why it took so long.

Part 1 is all the releases that I really liked, but either a.) are kinda honorable mention material or b.) I couldn’t think of a ton to write about it lol. They’re in no particular order because I do not care! You should go listen to all these! The usual disclaimer applies: these are just my favorite records from this year, I am no authority on what is the best and what isn’t, I just am an expert on what I like, and it’s this shit. All album titles link to my favorite song off of each record on bandcamp because I hate Spotify a lot even though I begrudgingly use it.

Part 2 will come out tomorrow because I really want to capitalize on the Super Bowl, y’know?

The Menzingers — Hello Exile I think it is safe to say at this point that The Menzingers is one of guitar music’s most consistently good acts. They are passionate sing-a-long creating machines, and with Hello Exile they gave us a new heap of them to yell along to at their shows. And having seen them play some of these live, I can confirm they are perfect for that setting.

My only criticism of Hello Exile might be that it doesn’t go anywhere unexpected, and the band is maybe a little too comfortable in the niche they’ve found for themselves. Though I guess there is something to be said for doing what you know and doing it incredibly well. But these guys are great songwriters, and I’d love to see them push themselves a little harder to evolve.

Empath — Active Listening: Night on Earth I saw Empath open for Touche Amore and La Dispute a few months back and had no idea what to expect, but they fucking RIPPED and were far and away the best band on that bill (no offense to LD or TA. Actually maybe to LD; one of them had a fucking himalayan salt lamp sitting on their amp).

But anyways, Empath is fucking weird and chaotic and so much fucking fun, with bizarre synth textures, harsh guitar, and absolutely frantic drumming. And this album is all over the place, holding itself together with a through line of nature samples, bringing small moments of calm and a chance to breathe before everything comes crashing down again. I’d love to see them at a headlining show full of their fans, because this is music that deserves that kind of energy.

Catbite — S/T I love ska and I will never apologize. Catbite is one of the most exciting new ska bands out there. They’ve only been around for two years, but they’ve already found their niche and solidified their identity as a heavily second wave influenced band that grew up in the third wave, who are the forefront of the fourth. They’re the future of ska and I am so pumped to see them eventually get the full recognition they deserve in this genre.

Future Teens — Heartbreak Season I truly cannot believe “Frequent Crier” bops as hard as it does. This song about all the places to cry while you lament a relationship that ended years ago will have you dancing while you weep, and that pretty much sums up Future Teens’ whole deal. This album can gut you, but you’ll be so busy bopping along you won’t even mind.

Aaron West & the Roaring Twenties — Routine Maintenance I know it’s cheating, but you should just read what Spencer wrote about this album; he put it perfectly. While I don’t immediately love this one as much as We Don’t Have Each Other (I love a divorce album and it is a top tier divorce album), it is the better record, and I’m so glad Aaron has started to figure out his new place in the world and that Dan Campbell is telling us his story.

Aly & AJ — Sanctuary The cover of this EP is truly one of the worst album covers I have ever seen. I like to describe it to people as “naked opera gloves milk bath. Also they are SISTERS.” Every art direction decision they have made for this EP has been truly bonkers! But despite the horrendous, horrendous cover, Aly & AJ have come through with a tremendous set of jams once again! I am not sure how it happened, but between 2017’s Ten Years and this EP, they have become one of my favorite pop acts, creating mid-tempo synthy jam after mid-tempo synthy jam. They are far from reinventing the pop wheel, but they have figured out their niche and perfected it. If you haven’t listened to Aly & AJ since “Potential Break Up Song,” it’s time to dive back in, because you’ve been missing some of the most solid pop made in the 2010’s. (Also, they believe in evolution now it’s FINE).

Sleater-Kinney — The Center Won’t Hold Okay, so this one is a cheat, because The Center Won’t Hold is not one of my favorite albums of the year, but the more time I spend with it, the more it has become my most respected album of the year.

I don’t really like this record, but I do think it is a great album. It is ambitious and surprising, a huge departure from their previous work, which critics and fans much smarter than me have examined at length. Sleater-Kinney could’ve easily crafted another album like No Cities To Love, which itself was an evolution from the sound they departed with on 2006’s The Woods, but it was an evolution that felt natural. It was easy to see point A to point B. With The Center Won’t Hold, point C is way on the other side of the map, and there is no easily discernible direct route. And while whatever is happening on this record isn’t totally my thing, I respect that they took a big swing. It’s a huge shame that it cost them Janet Weiss, though, and I don’t know if that is a loss they’ll ever truly recover from

#fy!qm's favorite albums of 2019 #the menzingers #empath #catbite #future teens #aaron west and the roaring twenties #aly and aj #sleater-kinney

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visionshadows · 5 years ago

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London Calling

So eons ago I took prompts and didn’t finish them. This was one that was from the story you won’t write prompts that went around for a bit. Look I finished something even if it’s not-fic! I don’t remember who this is from and it’s not in my ask box anymore for some reason.

The story you won't write: 'Boys just wanna have fun' ))))))

Notes: *we’re going to handwave a lot here. Like Geno having a passport and being able to be in London in July of 2006 when we all know he didn’t get his passport back until August*

I’m also putting this behind a read more because it got long and it does actually get slightly NSFW in one part. Which I wrote at work. Lol.

Sid can’t be spontaneous. Nothing in his life allows for that because people know his face. But he wants to do this, he wants one chance to experience gay pride and the best way to do that is to go to Europe. He’ll blend in better there and his face isn’t as well known as in North America. Europride is in London which means he speaks the language which is why São Paulo is not on his list. That would be even better, but the language barrier worries him. He speaks no Portuguese at all.

So London, Europride 2006. That’s where he’s going after his rookie year. His parents know. Pat knows. He doesn’t tell Mario because … well, he just doesn’t tell Mario. Mario knows he’s gay but Sid’s never actually provided any evidence of that while living in his house.

The hotel room is nice but not too nice. The clothes he’s got are clothes that won’t be coming home with him. He’s got a box of bleach for his hair and bright red lipstick for his lips.

When he’s ready, he looks at himself in the mirror - bleached blonde hair, bright red lipstick, short gold booty shorts and a crop top with a rainbow flag on it - and doesn’t see Sidney Crosby. He takes a picture on his crappy flip phone (carefully not getting the booty shorts) for his mom because he promised.

Sid is ready to experience his sexuality.

Sid’s sweaty and covered in glitter by the time he makes it to the bar. He hands over a credit card, smiling at the cute bartender who looks him over casually. It’s been a great few days so far and Sid’s enjoying everything. He’s made a few friends that he’s been spending most of his time with and he just wants a pint before he goes back to the dance floor.

A big body presses against him and he turns his head, looking up at a man who rests a hand against Sid’s hip.

“Sorry,” the man says, shouting in Sid’s ear. “English bad. You get?”

The man gestures at the bartender and Sid’s pint. He pulls a card out of his pocket and hands it to Sid and Sid shrugs, getting the cute bartender’s attention again to get the man a beer.

“Thanks much.” The man beams and it lights up his face. Sid turns a little so they’re pressed front to front.

“I’m Patrick,” Sid says. “Nice to meet you.”

The man licks his lips, his eyes dropping to Sid’s mouth. Sid knows how good his mouth looks, knows how to play up the fullness of his lips. It makes him want to laugh, thinking about how the guys all say he has no game. If they could see him now.

“Zhenya. Nice to meet,” Zhenya’s hand slides to Sid's hip and squeezes. Sid hums a little appreciatively.

"Trust me,” Sid smiles invitingly. " It's my pleasure.”

Zhenya pushes Sid against the door as soon as it is shut, kissing him hungrily. Sid grips Zhenya's ass in both hands, rocking against him.

"Fuck,” Sid groans when Zhenya tears his mouth away to breathe. "Bed. C'mon.”

Sid's figured out that Zhenya's lack of English is not much trouble when he uses his hands to guide their "conversation". Two drinks, a few dances, and Sid was making excuses to his friends, Zhenya draped over his shoulders. It's obvious why they are leaving.

They rock against each other enthusiastically, kissing and biting at sweaty skin, neither of them able to focus long enough to do more than press their cocks against hot skin. Zhenya bites Sid’s shoulder and Sid feels a burst of warm heat against his stomach. He grips at Zhenya’s ass and ruts against him until he finds his completion, Zhenya draped on top of him.

They pant in the darkness of the room, Sid occasionally running his hands through Zhenya’s unruly curls. Zhenya finally pushes himself up and leans over to the bedside table to rummage through it, finding the lube and condoms that Sid stashed there. He’s here for a lot of reasons, and one of them is to have sex. It’s been a fruitful week.

Zhenya smirks at him and grabs Sid’s hand, pouring lube in it before spreading his legs wide. Sid’s eyes widen at the sight of Zhenya’s long legs and his soft, sticky dick resting on his stomach.

“Yeah?” Sid touches his fingers to Zhenya’s hole. Zhenya answers him in Russian, but nods at the same time and Sid presses in, shocked at his luck.

They fuck slower this time, Zhenya’s legs wrapped around Sid, the two of them breathing against each others lips. It’s late by the time they separate again and Sid can’t see sending Zhenya out into the night.

He pulls him into the shower and kisses him slowly and sweetly. “Stay. Sleep tonight?”

Zhenya cocks his head to the side, looking at Sid thoughtfully. “Okay. Tonight.”

Sid doesn’t see Zhenya again. That’s not what this trip is for. He does think of him though and he kind of wishes he had gotten his email or something. It’s a stupid thought. It’s not like he’s going to trade contact information with any of the people he is going to meet in London, much less any of the people he fucks. Maybe someday, but not now. Not when he’s just barely broken into the NHL.

He dyes his hair back before he leaves and bags up the clothing, leaving it in the hotel room. He looks at his reflection in the mirror again, dressed in cargo shorts and a polo and he sees Sidney Crosby again. There’s still a bruise hiding under the collar of his polo that he knows he could see if he moves his head the right way, but otherwise, he looks the same as before he left.

Home is the same as well. He trains hard and tells his parents a few sanitized stories about London. His dad clears his throat a few times and just squeezes his shoulder and says something about condoms before turning bright red.

Andy knows he’s gay and knew his plans before he came home, so in their down time, he lets Sid tell him stories. He even listens when Sid tells him about how he can’t stop thinking about Zhenya. He still knows it’s stupid. He shouldn’t be hung up on a guy he spent less than 12 hours with, but he kind of is.

Andy squeezes his shoulder comfortingly and then makes him run up a hill a few times until Sid can’t think about anything but how much he hates Andy and that actually does make things a little better.

Sid’s in his room at Mario’s when Nathalie knocks on his door and says that Evgeni Malkin is going to be coming to dinner. Sid’s shocked because last anyone had heard, Malkin had signed another contract in Russia. He’s been excited to play with the guy so him being here is great.

He showers even though he’s not really gross. Better to make a good impression on him anyway. When he gets downstairs, Gonch is there as well as George from the front office. He says hello to everyone and makes his way to the kitchen to help out Nathalie. He’s anxious and nervous and if he doesn’t do something with his hands, he’s going to go nuts.

When the doorbell rings, Austin comes running into the kitchen to get them and Sid washes his hands quickly before following Nathalie out. He can’t see Malkin at first because he’s hidden behind Mario, introductions being made.

“And this is Sidney Crosby,” Mario says, stepping aside. “You’ll be playing together.”

Sid can hear Mario’s words being translated by George but it’s all fuzz in his brain because the person standing there is *Zhenya*. He’s tired and disheveled, but it’s Zhenya.

Sid moves on automatic, sticking his hand out. “Nice to meet you. I’m really excited to play with you.” He doesn’t know how he manages to speak, or if it even sounds normal. No one seems to be staring at him oddly.

Malkin - Zhenya - takes his hand and shakes it. “Please to meet.”

And Sid’s heart crashes because the recognition isn’t there. Zhenya looks at him like he’s a stranger even though Sid’s had his dick in his ass.

Sid manages a tight smile before letting go of his hand and stepping back. The evening is a bit of a blur after that. All of his media training kicks in and he keeps himself together, talking when necessary, polite to a fault. He even talks to Zhen - Malkin - when he needs to.

When he finally is alone again, he drops his hands into his face and lets himself cry. He knew it was stupid.

They don’t talk about it. Zhenya becomes Geno and Sid forces himself to separate the two in his brain. Zhenya was a one time thing. The Sid he met wasn’t real either. It’s not like he used his name or looked like himself. Geno is real and he’s here and it’s Sid job to help integrate him into the team.

So he does. They become friends as best they can considering Geno barely speaks English. There is a lot of charades and Gonch muttering things under his breath as he translates for Geno. The words he learns first are not exactly suitable for polite company but great for a locker room.

As Geno’s vocabulary grows, so does his personality. Geno is funny and whip smart with comebacks which makes Sid wish he understood Russian. If Geno’s this funny and smart in a language he barely understands, he must be amazing in his own language.

Sometimes he catches Geno staring at him, his expression hard to read. Sometimes he wonders if Geno’s figured out who he is - that he’s Patrick. Sid’s good at not looking in locker rooms, but every so often he catches himself looking at Geno’s long legs and remembering the way they wrapped around his body.

He takes cold showers when that happens.

“Patrick,” Geno says, his eyes locked on Sid’s from where he’s sitting on the other side of the table. They’re stuck on table duty because they’re underage and can’t go down to the bar area. Sid doesn’t actually mind - until now.

“Excuse me?” Sid’s voice cracks and he sits up straight.

“Sidney Patrick Crosby. Is your name. Me,” Geno taps his chest. “Zhenya little name for Evgeni. Soft, for close. I like use for kiss.” He reaches out and tugs on Sid’s hair. “This. Why you do?”

So they were doing this apparently. Right here. In a bar where their teammates could show up any time. Sid’s eyelids flutter without his permission when Geno tugs on his hair and Geno’s eyes narrow.

“I’m Помните. You like.”

“G…” Sid sighs. “I dyed it. I wanted to make it hard for me to be recognized.”

Geno tilts his head in the way Sid knows means he didn’t understand completely. “I didn’t want people to know who I am.”

“Same me. Patrick look so - “ Geno looks frustrated, waving a hand at Sid’s face and hair. “Not you. I’m not know.”

“When did you know?”

“Laugh,” Geno says, a soft smile spreading across his face. “But no words. English stupid.”

Sid laughs a little at that, looking down at his glass of water. “I thought about you a lot after I came home.”

“Yes. Most pretty boy.” Geno traces a finger over Sid’s jaw lightly and Sid’s eyes close. “Best dick. Best ass.”

Sid snorts out a laugh at that and opens his eyes to see Geno with his tongue between his teeth, grinning. He can’t help but grin back at him. “You seemed to enjoy it.”

Geno waggles his eyebrows at Sid and tilts his head towards the door. “Max not come to room tonight. Go again?”

Sid knows it’s a bad idea. They’re teammates now. It’s not like it was this summer. He knows that he and Geno are going to be tied together for years to come. Sex absolutely could ruin it.

But he’s also 19 and Geno’s offering and he knows exactly how good the two of them are together in bed.

Sid stands up and grabs Geno’s hand. “Let’s go.”

#sidgeno #my fic #notfic #teenage sid and geno #europride 2006 #boys just wanna have fun #asked and answered (finally)

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girlinthepictureframe · 5 years ago

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The Briefest Kiss Part 6

Part 6

He hated them. He hated them all, thought Alex, a bit bitterly, as he sat in the far back of the Monkeys’ tour bus, strumming aimlessly away on his acoustic. He hated their ability to sleep, hated that they were able to turn off their minds and relax and reboot, while he was stuck in his head, unable to find the off-switch. The strumming turned angrier. He actually liked the melody that was beginning to form but he couldn’t even turn it into a fucking song because his mind was so bloody out of it that he didn’t know whether he was playing original content or covering something he’d once heard! One last harsh strum and he turned the guitar away. It was senseless at any rate. No good thing would come out of it tonight.

Not when he all of his attention had decided to go for a walk and got lost in the tall grasses of untrimmed sorrow and bleak regret. Fucking Miles and his fucking kiss! Two years! That’s how much time had passed since his best friend had decided to follow his curiosity and where did it lead them? Straight into the abyss! And it wasn’t even the nice kind of abyss, where everything was dark and quiet and ruthlessly hollow. No, Miles never did anything half-assed and when he’d steered them off the cliff, he’d aimed for the large hole of relentless chaos and rancorous self-doubt.

His tired head rolled backwards and he drove his hands through his hair, desperate for sleep, yet overwhelmingly afraid of it. It had all gotten that much worse since Taylor had left him. When she had still been around, she would distract him. Even her worst attributes became his favorite abstraction. He could wrap his twisted mind around her sorrows and wring them out for inspiration and preoccupation. But he’d known he was a selfish prick and, before long, she’d been so fed up with him that she’d completely fallen out of love with him.

When she’d told him just that, he’d sat down, fully prepared for the soul-crushing pain of a broken heart. But nothing had happened. He’d just sat there, waiting for the emotion. He’d have settled for any sort of emotion, really! None came. Just emptiness. Then boredom. A bit of physical pain, also. She’d slapped him when he told her to close the door on her way out. Well, he was a grade-A asshole when he wanted to be. He knew that. And he did feel bad. He might be a cold, dried-up, emotionless freak, but she wasn’t and some day he was going to apologize to her. But not yet. Not, when he was still pissed off at her for pointing out the obvious, which was that Miles and he had some very big, very unresolved feelings for one another.

Like he didn’t know! Like he hadn’t known for years! Like he hadn’t known from the very fucking beginning! But they had lived so bloody comfortably in their sheltered bubble. They’d gotten quite homey in it! It was nicely decorated, too.

Every other friend in his life could be put in a box. Bandmate. Friend. Acquaintance. Family member. Some fit into several boxes and that was fine, too. Alex liked his life organized and easy. Except with Miles. With Miles, Alex could be free. He could just do and act and misbehave and get lost and detach and reassess and mess up and still be himself. With Miles, there were no lines to cross because they had never drawn any lines. There had never been any need for it. From the very beginning, they had just understood each other. And even when they did venture into uncharted territory, they mapped it out together and adapted to the new land. They never regretted taking leaps and always delighted in new experiences for they offered endless inspiration for their music.

Somewhere along the way they had gotten complacent and arrogant. They had, or at least he had begun to believe they were invincible. He’d become reckless, so had Miles. And recklessness was an addictive drug to be on. They had run past every warning sign, past every stoplight, straight into a savage pit. And it had all started out so innocently.

2006

“Miles, where are you?” Alex was restlessly hurrying through the endless corridors of the concert hall. The Monkeys had just finished playing their set and mid-song he’d gotten an idea for a lyric. But it wasn’t one that would fit any kind of Monkeys-song. However, it would fit ideally into a song he’d begun writing with Miles a few weeks ago. And now he needed him to polish it off, to insert the words into their proper spot within the song. “Miles fucking Kane,” called Alex through the hallway, “where are you hiding?”

“Bloody hell, Alex,” shot a voice from behind him. Alex spun around. “What’s going on? I’m a little busy at the moment.” Behind Miles, a slender blonde appeared, rearranging her skirt. Alex could see her reaching for Miles’ hand and his friend wrapped his fingers around hers.

Alex pulled his eyes away from their hands, briefly acknowledged that Miles’ shirt was undone, and took a few steps back, even though he was in no way standing close to them. “Sorry, didn’t know.” Something about the sight irritated him, threw him for a loop. “I, uh, will find you later.” He stumbled over his own words. “Continue. Carry on. Go back inside.” He turned around, embarrassed at his own ramblings, and walked away, back towards the band’s dressing room.

Lucky for him, no one else was there. Grabbing the guitar, he took a seat on the sofa and played bits and pieces of the song he wanted to finish with Miles. Now he had to do it by himself. Not that he couldn’t do it by himself. But there was a certain joy in doing it with him, instead of alone. He felt a rush whenever a word or a lyric fell into its perfect place and it was nice to be able to share that excitement with someone who could relate so well.

The door opened. Nobody had knocked, so Alex knew it could only be one of the band-members. “You busy?” Or Miles.

“What are you doing here? What about the dove?”

“We’ll meet up later,” said Miles as he sat down next to Alex.

It was a large sofa, with plenty of space, but Miles sat right next to Alex. So close, in fact, that Alex had to readjust the guitar to make room for him. But he didn’t mind. He preferred Miles close, rather than far away. He made him feel at ease. Something about his nearness had a calming effect on him. “I hope you didn’t leave her waiting around for you just to find me. It really wasn’t that important, anyway.” He didn’t meet Miles’ eyes.

“It was. You wouldn’t have looked for me otherwise,” countered Miles with a smile. “I know you, Al. So tell me, what was it?”

“Just a lyric I wanted to share.” Alex placed the guitar away. “I mean it, Miles. You don’t have to stop doing what you’re doing just to accommodate me. I’m a big boy. I can do well by myself.”

“I’m not accommodating you,” disagreed Miles as he took over Alex’s guitar and started strumming their song’s tune. “What makes you think I don’t want to know what’s going on in your head? You don’t often get excited, you know? When you scream my name in some hallway, it means something. No girl will ever make me not want to know.” He gave Alex a playful nudge with his shoulder, then grinned. “Now tell me about the lyric!”

And Alex did. For the next hour, both of them sung and strummed the same part of the song over and over again until both were satisfied with the new addition. Neither one mentioned how they’d ended up sitting so close that their upper arms were pressed against one another the entire time. When they were done, Miles seemed to have forgotten about his date as he suggested going for dinner to some local restaurant that had just opened not far from the concert hall. Alex remembered the girl and Miles’ initial plans. But, selfish prick that he knew he could be at times, he didn’t say anything, linked his arm with that of his friend and led them towards the exit. “Dinner is on me, my friend. Let’s celebrate another finished song!”

“Why, thank you very much.” Miles closed the door behind them. “I’ll invite you for drinks, then. Afterwards. Oh, by the way, who is the one always ending her messages with an x? Do I know her?” He chuckled. “‘Cause I just realized I do the same!”

“Oh, uh…you don’t know her.”

Alex took a look around the tiny room in the back of the bus. It reminded him of the one he’d shared with Miles during the Shadow Puppets tour. Only he hadn’t spent so much time in the back part of it. He had been more social, then. He had spent more time in the front, with the band, with the roadies, with Miles. Miles had always been the one who loved crowds and thrived in company. He still remembered the first time Miles had dragged him out of the bus after some show to take a stroll through the cluster of fans that had gathered in the parking lot.

“You’ll love it,” he had said as he had tugged him out, all the while holding his hand and squeezing it, because he’d known Alex was easily overwhelmed when surrounded by too many strangers. But it had been nice. Alex had seen the joy in their fans’ eyes. And he’d eased up. Before he knew it, he’d found Miles’ hand gone. Miles had been standing a few feet away, singing the first notes of one of their most popular songs.

He smiled at that memory. Miles was always singing. At times, even in his sleep. It was contagious, too, his undying energy, his vibrant joy, his love for music. Alex wouldn’t be the writer and singer he was today without Miles, he knew that for certain. In part because, in the beginning, he’d always tried to impress Miles with his songs. He’d always wanted to catch his attention. He’d never quite succeeded in turning him into his fan. On some days he still tried.

“You’re still up?” Jamie perched his head through the door, then walked in, and sat down across from Alex. Miles would have sat down next to him. What an odd thought to have, reflected Alex. “Why won’t you go to sleep?”

“Not tired.” What a big lie.

And Jamie knew. “Liar. You’re up every night, hiding in here. You barely get any sleep anymore. That’s not a life, Alex. We’re worried about you. The tour ahead of us is long. You know that.”

“Have I failed you yet?” Anger was rising inside of him. He wanted to sleep. He’d give everything to be able to sleep. But the second he closed his eyes, images of Miles filled his head. Vivid, entirely inappropriate images of Miles, memories of Alex walking in on Miles while he wore nothing but a towel or memories of Miles and him working out together, bodies covered in sweat. All of it left Alex feeling dirty and ashamed, for his friend had trusted him when he’d allowed him to see him like that and now, Alex was turning those memories of a fierce friendship into the filthiest of porn! “Just leave me be, Jaime. I’m okay, I promise. I’m just…confused, if you must know. But it’ll pass.” Dear God, he hoped it would!

“Katie can talk to Taylor, if you want another chance. I don’t know what happened, but are you sure you can’t fix it?”

“There’s nothing to fix, Jamie.”

His friend kept pressing. “Really? Your longest relationship, Al. And you won’t even try? You got her bloody name inked on your arm!”

2015

“Matching tattoos?” Miles scrunched his nose as he curled his arm around Alex’s shoulders, pulling him closer towards him. They were in the midst of a raucous crowd, watching some indie band in a tiny but overcrowded club.

Alex wrapped his arm around Miles’ waist, leaning up against him, mouth close to his ear. “I know, it’s a big step. I told her I wasn’t sure if we should really take it that far. I mean, you can always laser it away, but still. A tattoo…would you ever do it?”

“Hannah’s name?” Alex heard the hesitation in Miles’ voice. “No. I don’t know. I don’t think so. I’d get your name,” he laughed. “I know you’ll stick around forever!”

“Oh yeah?” chuckled Alex. “You sound awfully sure of that. What if I find a better mate one day?” His lips were continually brushing Miles’ ear and Alex had to swallow a few times, to keep his mouth from drying up. Weird, he thought. That never happened before.

Miles laughed heartily and pulled Alex even closer. “A better mate than me? Impossible. Who would ever accept your smelly feet like I do? Who would ever be okay with you constantly vacuuming tour busses and who could possibly get over the fact that you need an entire year to ponder the perfect birthday present, only to buy a gift certificate in the end?”

“I’ll remind you,” objected Alex, albeit grinning, “that you loved the gift certificate! I still smell the soap on you even though it’s almost been a year! I love walking barefoot, hence the vacuuming.” Really, there was nothing worse than crumbs underneath one’s feet! “And I know for a fact that I don’t have smelly feet. Otherwise you wouldn’t have given me a foot rub!”

“Stupid bet,” said Miles.

“I told you watching Romeo And Juliet does not equal reading the book!”

“I learned my lesson,” admitted Miles. And laughed again. “Oooh, listen to this bit. The lyrics are insane!”

Alex loved it whenever Miles made him see and hear new bands. He was in constant need for inspiration and nothing did more for his mind that listening to others being wittier, smarter or punchier. So he listened, squeezed tightly against Miles’ side, while fighting the urge to shift even closer. Any closer and he’d wind up pressed up against Miles’ front, hugged whole, and that was just not an option.

“Aren’t they awesome?” shouted Miles over the thunderous applause of the audience.

“They are,” nodded Alex. His mouth was dry, again. He let his hand wander from his friend’s back, across his arm, until it found Miles’ fingers. Alex laced their hands. He was grateful for the loud crowd, otherwise everyone might hear the deafening drums of his heart. What was he doing? Why was he so needy for contact tonight? Since when looked Miles so good in his leather jacket?

Miles allowed Alex to drag him to the bar. “Two beer,” he ordered, then handed one to Alex. “You alright? You seem tense?”

“Yeah, fine. Just…me and crowds. Don’t worry.”

“We can leave!”

“No, no! It’s good.” The selfish part in him reared its ugly head. He scooted closer towards his friend. “Just stay close, okay?”

Miles wrapped both arms around Alex from behind, then gave his cheek a quick peck. “Close enough? Any closer and you might have another reason to get my name tattooed on your butt!”

Alex blushed. He couldn’t believe it. One blue joke from Miles and here he was, blushing like a bloody school girl face to face with her first crush! As he took a large swig from his beer, he could feel Miles chuckling against his cheek, his stubble scratching against his skin doing wicked things to his entire body.

“No comeback? Cat got your tongue,” joked Miles.

“Just thirsty,” muttered Alex.

Miles smirked. Alex felt it. He also felt as though he was a running a fever! “I bet, babe!”

“Bugger off, will you?” He said it harsher than he meant and to make sure Miles wouldn’t take it the wrong way, he let his head roll back against Miles’ shoulder, his nose nuzzling his friend’s neck just the briefest, most torturous moment. “Sorry. Tired, I guess. ‘Nother beer?”

“Always,” said Miles and smiled, not offended at all.

Alex immediately relaxed against him. “I’m weird, lately. Aren’t I? I didn’t mean to snap at you.”

“Snap at me all you want,” Miles said reassuringly. “As long as you let me hug you while you do it, I know we’re good.”

“I love you, Mi. I mean that.”

“Same, babe!”

“Can you keep a secret,” asked Alex as he met Jamie’s eyes. His friend nodded. “I never wanted that tattoo.”

Jamie was obviously confused. “Why’d you get it then?”

“The evening before I got it, I was out with somebody else and…” Alex swallowed hard. “I got it to prove something to myself. But it didn’t work. I tried to fool myself and I failed. And I’ve yet to get rid of it because it reminds me how completely stupid I can be.”

Jamie reached across the table and gave Alex’s hand a quick, reassuring squeeze. “Hey, you don’t need some ink for that. I’ll be happy to remind you of it every day for the rest of our lives!”

For the first time that day, Alex genuinely laughed. “Thanks, Jamie!”

“Go to bed, Alex. It’s late.”

To his own surprise, Alex got up and followed Jamie towards the bunks.

“Hey,” whispered his friend, “out of curiosity. That woman you were with that one night? Is she still around? Do I know her? Maybe you should give her a call! Maybe it was a missed opportunity?”

A missed opportunity.

Alex bit his tongue. Why, thanks, Jamie! Just as his thoughts were dissolving to give him just the barest breath for a bit of sleep, his bandmate had to toss one out like that! Alex sighed deeply. “Tell you what, I don’t think she’d answer my call at the moment. She’d be extremely pissed if I called her right now.”

Besides, he’d be seeing Miles tomorrow anyway. He was opening for them at their gig, Alex just now remembered. So much for sleeping…

#the briefest kiss #fanfiction #fan fiction #milex #miles kane alex turner #milex fanfiction #milex fanfic

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