#he went straight to picard for help

[hollis-art]

qcard? yes or no

personally, i do not think it is reciprocated on Picard's part, but Q is 100% delusional enough to believe that they are in love and married and they have a family with so many lovely kids (the crew) and they are living such a happy life. Picard on the other hand is oh-so tired of this nuisance of a being who will not stop sending enough flowers to make it impossible to walk into a room, popping up behind him on the horse whenever Picard goes horseback riding, and smirking at him from the other side of the bed when he wakes up even though he is like 99% sure that Q wasn't there when he fell asleep.

i do not think it is a two-way ship but i ABSOLUTELY do ship it. Picard deserves to be bothered by him, i think

[straightbaittournament]

may the best bait win! propaganda under the cut

picard and crusher:

They have a number of romantic moments throughout the TNG series from arguably the first but DEFINITELY the second episode. but they only get together (briefly before divorcing) in an alternate timeline episode which is also the season finale. Also they have a kid together in Picard but are still not allowed to be together She was married to his best friend and he was in love with her but wouldn’t say anything because he wouldn’t want to damage his bestie’s marriage and then his friend died and they met again years later and shared a lot of romantic and sexual tension for years. He openly admitted (under mind reading) that he had loved her since his bestie was alive but felt he couldn’t act on it. In an alternate future they got married. In the canon future they got together and broke up repeatedly because trauma makes relationships hard sometimes and they have a kid together who is named after the aforementioned bestie. An episode forcing them to share thoughts makes him openly admit that he loves her and has loved her for years even when she was married to his best friend.

nathalie and gabriel:

There’s literally a scene where he puts his wedding ring on her finger and tells her to protect his son and the family name and also she’s canon in love with him but they don’t get together and actually she ends up trying to kill him (he deserved it). She’s canonically in love with him (and possibly his late wife). He panics and abandons his plan when she collapses and he carried her to bed (bc sick) multiple times. His son assumed they were together. He puts on her hand his wedding ring/son manipulater (… yeah) in the manner of a wedding. She risks her life to help him save his wife. She tries to shoot him with a crossbow (hot) when she realized he went villain crazy (which is sosososo good for me as a tragic love enjoyer). He sacrifices his life to save her (after she risked her life to help him!!) His son ships it all of it. well actually there’s a lot of build up and they both end up kind of dying before it can come to anything they aren’t like permadead but it’s very bury your straights coded also gabriel has like a dead wife. and nathalie knows her too and the series is actually kind of hinting that maybe nathalie was in lesbians with her??? despite the fact that they have been hinting at romantic chemistry with gabriel since the dawn of time. it’s a little indescribable. gabriel girlfailure of the century

[yourbuerokrat2]

A short fic about cchipollos and technicolor-dreams lawyer/college professor rom-com!AU because I love Guinan and I love Guinans perspective on Picards and Qs relationship.

Context: In this AU Q cyberstalks Picard after the second meeting and Picards internet presence is rather spare and mostly private but there are a few places like Guinans Bar, Ten Forward, that he has left postive reviews on so Q tries to meet Picard at these places. Which imo is questionable behavior.

Tonight was not a regular night. Sure, her regulars, aside from one of her closest friends, were all there as would be expected for a friday afternoon at this time. But there was one person amongst her clients that she had not expected to see here. Let alone ever wanted to see in her bar. Quiny she-would-be-damned-if-she-ever-cared-enough-to-remember-his-entire-name Quinn. Or Q as he preferred to be called.

Still in his lawyers suit although even from a distance she could see that he put a bit of an extra effort in his appearance tonight. A bit too much hair gel in his hair, just a bit too strong of a cologne and a posture just a little bit to straight and self-conscious than to be entirely grounded in self-confidence, or in Qs case, arrogance.

For a short while she thought that Q was here on purpose for her, that he had gotten bored enough with his life and his job that he bothered to find this bar just to get on her and her clients nerves.

But Q did not pay her any mind. Even as she approached him with a 'What can I get you so you leave` his eyes were only briefly directed at her and a mutual look of dislike and distaste was exchanged only for Q to look at the door. But not, as she had hoped as a sign that he wanted to leave. No, he was clearly waiting for someone.

'Just one of your red wines will do', dismissive voice with an absent-minded hand gesture telling her to leave.

Briefly, for about less than a second, considering poisoning the drink and doing this entire town a favour, she gave Q his glass of red wine. He had not specified which one he had wanted so she gave him her worst. Which was still a quite decent one but she would not waste her actual good stuff on someone who she knew would not be able to appreciate it.

Q was still going between staring at his phone and taking glances at the door every time someone entered or exited it.

And then Jean-Luc Picard entered and she couldn't help a slight smile. He was a rather dear friend and his company was always something she looked forward to.

Much to her surprise and disapproval she was not the only one brightening up at Picards arrival.

Guinan has had the displeasure of seeing Q in court. The fake smile as he talks to witnesses and the honest, arrogant smile as he finds just the right passages and words to convince the Judge that his client is right. It's a song and dance that perhaps all lawyers are familiar with but Qs job seemed to have given him an, even for a lawyer, above average superiority complex. A complex that sometimes gave way to a whiny and spoilt brat that had clearly profited off nepotism nearly their entire life.

'Ah, Jean-Luc, what a coincidence to meet you here.'

It was not a coincidence, that was very much clear. The greeting as well seemed to her a bit rehearsed as well. But what wasn't entirely rehearsed was the emotion in Qs voice betraying just how glad he was to see the other man and a smile that was almost terrifingly sincere in her opinion and Guinan was sure that as Q went to talk with Picard that she or anyone else in her bar might as well be none-existent to Q.

[trillscienceofficer]

While I hate how Picard forgot about Elnor for so long, I genuinely think Elnor was better off without him because it's clear he hates children and he would get him killed sooner or worse. So actually Elnor being raised by the lesbian convent , I mean Qowat Milat, was good for Elnor. Except Picard shouldn't have made that promise so the poor child wouldn't long to see Picard again.

(In reference to this post)

I totally get where you're coming from! I really am not sure what Picard would've done with Elnor had things been different, but there were imho several options in which Picard could've helped without having to raise the kid himself.

It's interesting that now that I got to 1x04 again I'm experiencing once more the same kind of 'wait a second I kinda like where this is going actually', in the sense that in the first few episodes of Star Trek: Picard we're shown the terrible consequences of the one time in his life Picard chose his pride over the commitment he'd made to several people, ie the time he resigned from Starfleet over the Romulan rescue efforts and went straight into early retirement. We see this especially with Raffi (whom also Picard had left to her own devices) and Elnor, and with Picard's own surprise at how bad things have gotten because too many people like him chose to not act when even partial, insufficient action, without any 'official' backing of any kind would have still meant something. It sure would've meant a lot to Elnor and Raffi at the very least.

I thought it could've been a really good commentary on the price paid for inaction and for believing that the official, sanctioned way is the only way anyone can do anything about huge, intractable problems, when in reality any decision that leads to lessening of people's suffering is worth making. But the show lost the plot of this already during this episode (by casting Picard as someone still 'deserving' a voice on Vashti among the Romulan refugees), and I'm not sure I buy either Raffi or Elnor eventually forgiving him or much less apologizing to him (for what exactly it's unclear, he's the one who let them down!)

Anyway, I had great hopes for this show and for Jean-Luc but I don't blame anyone who finds him insufferable now. Picard could've been again a vehicle for talking about responsibility and what we owe to each other even after we've made mistakes, like in TNG's best moments, but this show chose differently I guess.

[stitching-in-time]

Voyager rewatch s1 ep5: The Cloud

This is one of the ones I've definitley seen before, but don't remember much from, so it was interesting to watch it unfold without knowing what happens.

Overall, it was a mixed bag, but at the very least, it gave us this iconic Janeway moment:

The main storyline was clever, providing a nice twist to the usual 'let's go poke a stick at a space anomaly' plot by turning it about to reveal a 'we must help out a space creature' plot instead. Although for me it was a bit of a 'worst person you know makes excellent point' moment when Neelix went off about how stupid it is to endanger the ship and crew to go poke a stick at every single space anomaly they encounter. (He's not wrong.) However, as soon as he said it to the captain, and was kind of a jerk about it, I switched to her side. I would follow her anywhere and do whatever crazy shit she wants to do, tbh. She has so much conviction, even if what she's saying is, in fact, risky and stupid as hell, I want her to do it, I believe in her. She can have a little gratuitous ship and crew endangerment, for a treat, because I love her. Also she gets bonus points for literally telling Neelix to gtfo of her ready room. Get his disrespectful ass, honey! But then she lets him bring snacks to the bridge during a red alert??? Wtf??? I guess the writers didn't want to have a female capatain be too harsh lest she not be seen as approachable and 'unfeminine' (gag!), but I personally love it when she's tough and a little bit scary, and these very same writers never worried if Jean-Luc Picard was 'approachable'. (And he's not- if you approach him, he'll bite your head off, and we still love him, so let Janeway have the same thing dammit!)

Also, they literally have a line in this ep about how Captain Janeway canonically wears lipstick?! In the 24th century?! Women still have to wear goddamn lipstick to work?! When you're the Captain of a fucking starship, you're still supposed to sit there and put lipstick on before you show up for duty?! I just... ugh. No. Sure some people like to wear makeup, fine, but the notion that ALL women like it and want to wear it is just...no. Obviously on a TV show, the actors are all wearing makeup in real life, but I always felt that in the universe of the show they weren't, except maybe for hyper feminine characters like Deanna Troi. Kathryn Janeway is so no-nonsense, I really don't think she would, she doesn't seem like the kind of person who would give a damn if her crew thinks her lipgloss is poppin', you know? And especially since none of the male characters has ever had obviously make-up-y makeup, it reinforces a short-sighted patriarchal viewpoint to say that hundreds of years from now we'll still have a cultural norm where all women wear make-up all the time, and all men never do. (New challenge to current Star Trek shows: I want to see male crewmembers rocking guyliner, colorful eyeshadow, lipstick, glittery highlights, the works. If women in Starfleet wear it, men should too!)

The parts with Chakotay helping Janeway to find her spirit animal were obviously well meant, but they came off as a clumsy attempt to be inclusive by white guys who only have the vaguest idea of what they're talking about. The part about 'we now know better than to use scary bad drugs to have visions, now we use technology!' was especially cringe inducing. It's pretty tone-deaf to think that a culture where connection to the natural world is a central principal would use technology to have a spiritual experience, not to mention the whole 'natural drugs are bad and only white western medicine can make drugs that are safe and good' attitude is something that woud have died out in a post-capitalist utopian future. I appreciate that they wanted to be progressive, but if they weren't going to do the bare minimum of research or even try to put aside their middle aged straight white guy worldviews for a little bit, it was a futile effort that was doomed from the start.

And then there was more cringe-inducing stuff in Tom Paris's Chez Sandrine holodeck program. The harder they try to make Tom seem cool, the less cool he seems. Honestly, every thing in those scenes was just major secondhand embarrassment. It's hard to believe the writers really made him say this misogynist crap with a straight face. Like a grown ass adult would actually show his friends and coworkers that the inside of his head looks like this??? The whole time, I felt like Harry's discomfort wasn't because Tom's holoprogram was too sexy and cool for him, but rather because he was thinking 'Damn bitch, you live like this??' and feeling bad for Tom. If my bestie admitted to me that he has basically the hologram equivalent of a blow up doll in all his holoprograms, I would consider that a cry for help. If we needed confirmation that Tom has some issues he hasn't worked through, we got it, but I feel like it could have been done more subtly. It was just, so, so over-the-top bad. Thank you B'Elanna for calling out his shitty program, you said what we were all thinking, queen. At least Tom had the self-awareness to look contrite when she called him a pig- even then, he knows she's right, so at least they're giving him a ray of hope for getting better, but still, so far he's actually been pretty decent, and this was an unnecessary side trip to creepville no one needed. The one small positive I'll concede in this Chez Sandrine quagmire is Captain Janeway coming in and being fauned over by a holographic dude who wants to make passionate love to her, since she seems totally unsurprised and unbothered by someone taking one look at her and saying that, lmao. Captain Janeway knows she's got it, baby! And then revealing that she's secretly a pool shark to boot- ugh, I just love her. So much.

Tl;dr: Good main plot, bad subplots, some cringe moments you'll just have to grit your teeth to get through.

[procrastinatorproject]

Bed Rest (Seven) for the WIP ask game, please. Also, if you want to talk about the other Bed Rest fics, too.

Seven's installment literally consist of only this handful of sentences so far:

“I understand that your xB physiology renders you much more resilient than humans, and I’m willing to give you a lot of leeway, but I draw the line at exposure to hard vacuum. You’re coming to sickbay with me right now.” Seven arched her eyebrow and drew a rasping breath. “Deactivate —” “No,” Emil said calmly. “You’re on medical lockout from all computer systems and will remain so until I give you a clean bill of health. Now, will you come downstairs voluntarily? Or will I have to ask Ms Musiker to drag you?”

I do like it quite a bit :D But haven't managed to do all the writing that needs to go around it yet.

As for the other Bed Rest fics... When I started writing them, it was just Soji, then I had an idea for Raffi, then Ian, Rios... and eventually, it settled in my brain as "one day, this series will have a story of Emil telling people to lie the fuck down already for every major and a whole lot of minor characters from Star Trek: La Sirena" 😅

We'll see how far I get. The one I wrote for Picard doesn't actually fit the description as well as I'd like it to, and I should probably just post it as a short slice of life standalone (it's basically done and I find it pretty funny, if I say so myself).

And the Agnes WIP that is still technically labelled "bed rest" also veered into a different direction (much more emotional angst and post-Borg-trauma, less the sickfic vibe I'm going for with the rest of the series). So I might turn that into a standalone at some point, though it would involve having to acknowledge season 2 happenings, even in a strongly altered form...

BUT! A while ago, @regionalpancake pointed out that probably a bunch of OC stories in my "never to be pulished" folder would only need very minor rewrites to work for Agnes (and for readers who haven't spent the last four years in my brain and thus don't know the reams and reams of intricate worldbuilding that underly the Private Stories). And I think that assessment is very accurate for the fic currently titled "Check up", which also has some holo bits in it that I just... adore so much! And want to share with the world! Like...

Emil nodded. “Your fever has gone up in the last few hours.” Her eyes went wide. “I thought the meds would help with that?” The EMH tilted his head and his expression turned slightly admonishing. “They are helping. They’re supporting your body’s immune system in fighting off the virus. Which inevitably involves a certain level of fever.” He lowered his scanner and frowned. “Honestly, you’re nearly as bad as the captain with his impatience. Healing takes time. The human body isn’t a machine where you can replace a broken part and everything just runs smoothly again straight away.” “Well now.” Over at the table, Ian leaned back in his chair and tucked his hands under his arms. “A repair is rarely done with a simple replacement. There’s always adjustments that need to happen afterwards and usually a lot of recalibration to —” “Yes, thank you Ian,” Emil said curtly without turning around, “I was speaking metaphorically.” “I’m just saying that if you want the repair done properly, you can’t just shove a new part in place and call it a day. There are a lot of protocols and follow-ups that need to happen.” “Actually, that makes the metaphor better, don’t you think?” Enoch mused. “Even with a machine, repairs take time and don’t lead to instantaneous improvement.” Ian leaned towards the ENH. “Yes, but he said the human body wasn’t like a machine, so he got the metaphor exactly backwards.” Emil rolled his eyes as the two holograms at the table started to argue over whether an accidentally good metaphor was still good if it was deployed incorrectly. Behind them, Emmet was leisurely swapping cards from his hand for better ones from the discard pile.

So that one is probably gonna be Agnes's installment (eventually).

Beyond that, who knows? There are still a few crew members (organic, cybernetic, and holographic) that need to have a moment with their snarky ship's physician! And one of these days, I will finally get over myself and edit the two paragraphs that have thus far kept me from posting Rios's part of the series 😅

I really enjoy the bed rest stories, though. I will never get enough of Emil being an exasperated, snarky, but ultimately really kind and competent doctor! And since there aren't as many stories of that out there in the wild as I'd like, I guess I'll just have to keep writing them myself XD

---

(I'm still very happy to answer questions or post snippets of the many things in my WIP folder :D Here's the original list of titles if you want to see what's available!

[ladyfogg]

May I? - 36/?

May I? - 36/?

Fic Summary: Ensign Faith Diaz struggles to hide her mental illness from her fellow shipmates aboard the Enterprise until an intrigued Data goes out of his way to try to understand her behavior. At his insistence, Faith tries to figure out what she’s truly passionate about and eventually seeks the professional help she needs. Fic Masterpost.

Fic Rating: NC-17

Pairing: Data/Female OC

Warnings: tw: depression, tw: anxiety, fluff, friends to lovers, eventual smut

Faith tried to keep herself focused on her duties.

She left Sickbay still fuming over Q’s meddling. They were already on red alert heading into the rendezvous and now they had to deal with whatever he did to Data. If the being could die, Faith absolutely would kill him. Before she entered Engineering, she took a deep breath and tried to keep her head straight. It helped, but only slightly.

It took considerable brainpower to remind herself that there was nothing that she could do about it right then and there. Dwelling and fuming weren’t going to change anything.

Those were the words she repeated to herself, even if deep down they felt hollow.

They were still working with a skeletal crew, at least for another few hours. When she had left, they had been well on their way to having the majority of the repairs complete.

“Report,” she ordered as soon as she walked in.

Barclay stood at the center console and immediately gave her his attention. “All routine maintenance has been completed,” he said. “The shield is no longer delayed and we are showing no signs of complications after our brief shutdown.”

“Great, let’s keep it that way. What about Engineering One?”

“It has been cleaned and the necessary replacements have been dispatched.”

“How far along is the current team?”

“It shouldn’t take them more than a few more hours.”

Which would put them ahead of when she told Picard they would finish. Excellent.

“Thank you, Lieutenant.” She made a move to leave when Barclay started stuttering, like he usually does when there was something he wanted to say but couldn’t get it out fast enough. She turned back to him with her eyebrow raised. “Something else?”

Barclay fiddled with the PADD in his hands for a second and she waited, somewhat impatiently, for him to find his voice. “I found something and seemed a bit…unusual.”

“What was it?”

He looked as though he wasn’t sure if he should speak. The longer his silence went on, the less patient Faith became. But she knew the importance of waiting when it came to Barclay. Eventually, he took a step closer so that only she could hear what he had to say.

“I found something wrong with the shield generator,” he said. “After our shutdown, I was rechecking systems to make sure everything was still running smoothly and the shield generator had been recalibrated.”

“Recalibrated? How? Why?”

“It was subtle, something that wouldn’t have caught our attention if I hadn’t been looking for it.”

“Could it have been a diagnostic issue? Somehow overlooked by the program.”

“Possible but-but doubtful. It was something that would have had to have been manually done.”

Faith processed what he said and it made her stomach roll. If what Barclay found was correct, then that meant someone on board was actively trying to sabotage them. Which also meant that the mole was still very much operational. Why hadn’t they acted until now? Or had they been acting all along and still hadn’t been caught? What was the purpose?

Her thoughts were beginning to spiral and Faith had to bring herself back to the moment. Barclay was looking at her, waiting for a response or course of action. Taking a deep breath, Faith made sure they weren’t being overheard before she spoke again.

“Everything you found, Reg, I want you to compile in a report and forward to the captain, Data, Commander Riker, and Lieutenant Worf. They are conducting interviews today and they need this information.”

“I-I already have the report. I’ll send it right away.”

“Good.” Faith looked around, taking in every person she could see. With Barclay’s findings, it meant anyone around them could be the traitor and Faith found herself studying the others with mixed feelings.

On the one hand, she fought and worked alongside every one of them. She didn’t want to believe that they would betray Data, betray her, or the Enterprise. And for what reason? Why would they put their own lives in danger by sabotaging the ship?

Turning back to Barclay, Faith spoke in a low voice, as he had. “Reg, right now we need to work under the assumption that the person who did this is here with us now or is on their way to speak to the officers. I want you to run your own diagnostics on each of our systems to look for any more anomalies. Be subtle and stealthy. Don’t tell anyone what you are doing. I need you to be as discreet as possible.”

Barclay nodded, looking a little green at the prospect. “What are you going to do?” he asked.

“I have another problem that needs to be looked into. Let me know if you find anything else.”

With his orders, Barclay got back to work, and Faith went into her office. Part of her knew she should join in his search but her desire to help Data superseded everything else. Whatever they faced, whatever they were heading towards, she knew Data needed to be at his best. At the moment, He was vulnerable and that scared her. She never once questioned Data’s capabilities and while she had worried about him, that worry could be tempered by the knowledge that he had his strength to protect himself.

He didn’t have that now. Not to mention his new emotions most likely had him confused and overwhelmed.

Faith had to do everything in her power to get him back to his normal self. Once at her desk, Faith loaded Data’s schematics. Beverly had already uploaded the scans and Faith took her time going through everything at least twice. There was hope that she would find something they missed, spot something that could solve the problem. But she should have known it wouldn’t be that easy. Q wouldn’t put the answer right in front of them.

There were no changes other than the presence of hormones. Which, of course, didn’t seem right, since there was obviously something blocking the areas Data no longer had access to. Also, what was producing the hormones?

Faith leaned back in her seat, letting her mind run with all the possibilities. The tricorder could be wrong. It could be missing something that would be visible to the naked eye. It could be physical rather than electrical. But the idea of opening Data up to check didn’t appeal to Faith. Especially when she wasn’t sure if he could feel pain now. He said he felt her touch; she had to assume that meant he could also be hurt. And there was no way she was going to be the one to test that theory.

Which meant, if he could be hurt, there was yet another thing Faith now had to worry about. She had not realized how much of a comfort Data’s android capabilities had provided over their months together.

What if Q never changed him back? What if Data got hurt in the process?

Faith was still angry at Q. What she wouldn’t give to slap him again. Sure, Q could have done something horrible to her, but damn if it hadn’t felt good when her palm stung. The surprise on his face was great too. But that brief satisfaction was dwarfed by Faith’s concern.

It was such a cruel thing to do, to let Data feel these things, only to inevitably rip them away. What was Q playing at? What was his endgame? What point was he trying to prove? And why did he want to prove it, knowing they were going into a potential trap?

She leaned back in her seat, thinking of the way Data looked earlier, the worry and fear she never thought she would see reflected back at her. At least not to that degree. Of course, there was another way he looked at her.

That train of thought made her think of how he stared at her in her robe, the way he had reached out to undo the sash and peek at the flesh beneath. That hungry gaze, how he studied her naked body and needed to touch her. He had been more than enamored. He had been downright lustful and it had overtaken all his senses.

Flattering for sure, but troublesome. A voice in Faith’s head, the small one that had been quiet for a time, piped up. Was the first thing he deeply felt toward her lust or love?

Faith knew he loved her and had no reason to question otherwise, especially something he had no control over. If anything, his reaction only solidified his feelings for her, enhanced them. The moment his emotions were unleashed, they had turned to her. Shouldn’t she be thrilled he was experiencing things like a human would? Enhancing what was already there.

It was what he had always wanted. Then again, he had been nervous when in Sickbay, which meant he was concerned. And that was what scared her. Data being concerned terrified Faith down to her very core.

“There has to be something,” she muttered to herself, going through the files again. “There has to be a way to fix this.”

But even a third and fourth pass showed nothing.

Faith was worked up. Her growing frustration overtook her senses. What good was all her engineering knowledge if she couldn’t even use it to help her android boyfriend? What good was any of this technology if she couldn’t use it to help the one person she loved?

A knock on the doorframe of her office pulled her attention outward and, while she was grateful for the distraction, she was also annoyed. Turning in her chair, she fully intended to snap at whoever disturbed her but she caught herself when she found it was Wesley.

“Hi, Lieutenant. Sorry to interrupt,” he said. “Is now a good time?”

No, Faith wanted to say. No, it wasn’t a good time. But she didn’t need the cadet to see her spiraling. She couldn’t let any of them see, not when she was the one running things. So, she tried to take a deep breath and kept her emotions in check.

“What do you need, Wesley?” she asked.

He hesitated for a moment. With the way he fidgeted with the PADD he held, Faith’s frazzled nerves only got worse. A sinking sensation settled in the pit of her stomach and she got the feeling that whatever he had to say to her wasn’t going to be good.

“I have some news and I’m not sure how to best deliver it,” he said as he approached.

“What kind of news?”

“Of a personal nature.”

Faith’s heart skipped a beat. “It’s safe to assume it’s not personal to you.” It was clear that Wesley would not be there if he hadn’t found something that had to do with Faith specifically.

“No, sir.”

Taking a deep breath, or at least attempting to, Faith motioned for Wesley to enter her office. “Alright then, what is it?” she asked. There was an attempt to sound calm but Faith was anything but. Her body felt tight with tension. A thin layer of sweat broke out across her brow and she had to wipe her clammy hands on her pants.

“I was digging through the files Data was able to save, going through each of them to see if I could glean anything new on what we are going into,” Wesley said. It sounded as though he were buying time, trying to find the right words. “I found something I thought you needed to see.”

When he handed the PADD to her, that knot in her stomach twisted and she felt as though her blood had turned to ice in her veins. It immediately became apparent why Wesley came directly to her. For when she looked at the device, she found herself staring at her own image.

Not just any image, specifically a photo, one that looked as though it had been taken from security footage. She stood at an Engineering console, face pinched in concentration. Judging by the one pip on her collar, it had been taken prior to her promotion. Faith’s hand shook as she swiped the screen, only to find another image. And another, and another. All in Engineering.

She nearly dropped the PADD when the setting switched to Ten Forward. Not just any photo of her, one of a first date that was interrupted, one with her and Data smiling at each other with a single rose on the table between them. The next image was them leaning forward, their first kiss. Almost a kiss.

The one that was interrupted by the attack on the ship.

What were the odds? That their enemy should strike at that precise moment was almost too convenient. If Data had been tracked and watched prior, that meant once the two of them became involved, she became a focal point as well. However, the photos show that it was more than that. Her breathing came in quick gasps and her hands clutched the PADD so tight she thought it would break.

“Where did you find these?” she asked, vaguely aware he had already told her but forgetting in her distress. Her voice was tight and shook with emotion.

“Buried in Konro’s files,” Wesley explained. “When I saw these files, I grew concerned when I noticed the same naming convention the ship uses when taking screen captures of security footage. This leads me to believe that they were taken directly from within our own security system and then transferred later.”

That would mean the Oz’ods’ transmitter device had a whole other purpose. Either it was able to infiltrate the system and bypass their sensors and manual searches, or it was a distraction, a way for their adversary to do what he really wanted to do while they were concerned with the intruders.

But there was something else, something much worse that threatened to send Faith over the edge.

Because the photos are evidence that she and Data had been wrong. She hadn’t been collateral damage. She hadn’t been used as a ploy to get Data to comply. Fajo had used her that way, sure. However, Konro had been as interested in her as he had been with Data.

“Were these…” She had to focus to avoid stuttering. “Were these the only photos?”

She looked up at Wesley when he did not answer. The look on his face was answer enough. No. No, they weren’t. Why? Why photos of her and not Data? What did that mean? Did it even mean anything? It must.

Faith felt nauseated, she felt violated. The room started to spin.

She couldn’t hear Wesley calling her name, which meant she couldn’t hear the panic in his voice and didn’t know that something was desperately wrong. His hand was on her shoulder, gently shaking her in an attempt to draw her attention. It was useless.

Faith had fully dissociated and retreated into herself. What she faced was too much. Her ship’s duties she could handle. Repairing systems and protecting them, she could do in her sleep. Learning that she was the focal point of someone’s obsession tipped the scales against her. After the ship’s attack and the anxiety that had been building even prior to that event, there was no stopping the attack this time.

Did that mean Fajo’s benefactor had been watching her even after her capture? If he had access to security footage, how much had he seen? Had he intruded on their intimate moments as well? Security did not record personal quarters for obvious reasons but who’s to say Konro found another way? He was clearly capable.

But why? It couldn’t just be curiosity. The photos meant something more; they had to.

Had he watched her during her captivity as well? Was the dress Fajo forced her to wear part of a much sicker fantasy? Was that the real reason Fajo paraded her around? Did Fajo succumb to his injuries, or did the unknown enemy have him taken care of?

Faith’s chest was tight and it was only when she found herself gasping for breath that she realized she was hyperventilating. Wesley kneeled in front of her in concern.

“Lieutenant? Lieutenant?! You need to focus on your breathing,” he urged. “Follow my lead.”

With the confidence that came from a doctor’s prodigy, Wesley began breathing exercises as he tried to help her focus. However, by then it was too late. Faith was too far retreated into her own mind. She wasn’t looking at him, her gaze wide and unfocused.

Wesley tapped his communicator but Faith barely heard his voice over her own ragged gasps. A moment later, she sat on the floor of Sickbay with Dr. Crusher kneeling beside her son.

“Faith, sweetie, it’s Beverly,” she said in that stern yet matronly voice of hers. “You need to breathe. You are having an anxiety attack and I need you to breathe with me.”

“She’s not listening,” Wesley reported. “She’s dissociating.”

Faith didn’t respond. She didn’t see Beverly, didn’t see Wesley. All she saw were those photos of herself, taken and used for who knows what sinister purpose. Her hands dropped the PADD so that she could fist her hair while she curled into herself. She shut her eyes and tried to push everything out of her mind.

Were they going to try another kidnapping? Were she and Data even more vulnerable now that he was cut off from his abilities? She couldn’t be taken again. She just couldn’t. She couldn’t go through that terror, wouldn’t.

“No. No no no no no no no…” She repeated the word again and again until it became gibberish, barely recognizable as anything other than a strangled noise crawling from her rapidly closing throat.

This was too much. It was all too much. Everything was too much. The lights were too bright, the noises were too loud, her feelings were too big to fit inside her chest. She couldn’t breathe anymore. Something had closed her throat. She tried to claw at herself so she can get it out. Get the heavy weight out of her.

The next thing she knew, something touched her neck and then everything stopped. The rushing in her ears quieted, the knot in her chest eased, and she took her first deep breath in minutes. Faith tried to open her eyes but still found darkness. Whatever noise surrounded her dissolved into sweet silence and she fell backward into oblivion.

When Faith came back to herself, her entire body felt as though it was made of lead. Eyelids heavy, she tried to drag them open but it took several attempts. Even then, she could only hold her eyes open for a second, not even long enough to take in her surroundings. Quickly, she returned to the darkness. Even still, she sensed she was not alone. A wave of safety and reassurance washed over her and something wet touched her forehead.

Faith nodded off once more.

The next time she regained consciousness, she was slightly more alert. It still took considerable effort to open her eyes. When she did, the first thing she saw was the ceiling of Sickbay. Above her, the lights had been dimmed and when she rolled her head to the side, she saw that she’d been put in a private room. Something cold touched her temple and Faith looked to the other side, where Deanna sat. She pressed a damp towel to Faith’s head to wipe the sweat, her dark eyes filled with concern.

Once she noticed Faith was awake, Deanna put the towel down and took her hand. “Hey, there,” she said, squeezing it. “You gave us quite a scare.”

Faith’s tongue was uncooperative when she attempted to talk. She opened her mouth but nothing came out.

“Shh, don’t try to speak,” Deanna said. “You are under heavy sedation.”

“Wh-what…ha-happened?” Her voice was hoarse and sounded small to her own ears, more like a tired child rather than a full-grown adult.

“You had an anxiety attack,” Deanna explained. “A big one that has most likely been building for hours, possibly days.”

An anxiety attack. Yes, that would make sense. But what triggered it? The hazy images resurfaced in Faith’s addled mind and she suddenly remembered.

“Did you see them?”

The way Deanna’s lips pursed, Faith knew the answer before she uttered it. “Yes, we saw.”

If she hadn’t been pumped full of drugs, the thought would have sent Faith spiraling again. Instead, she weakly squeezed Deanna’s hand back, using the weight of it to ground her as she often did with Data. The longer she remained awake, the more her head started to clear. She still couldn’t move all that much, not that she was in a rush to go anywhere.

It was the opposite. She wanted to crawl into a hole somewhere and hide, somewhere their stalker couldn’t see or even find her.

“I feel so violated.”

“And you have every right to be. This is a total invasion of your privacy and safety. A detailed report has been filed through private channels and Dr. Crusher has ordered a full security sweep of all monitoring systems. We will not stand for this.”

Faith didn't have words. Her vision swam with tears and she could feel them trailing down her cheeks, warm against her cool skin. Deanna reached out to brush them away. It took all her strength but Faith curled on her side and leaned into Deanna’s waiting embrace.

Her friend held her as she cried and Faith couldn't even bring herself to feel ashamed or self-conscious. She hadn’t fully wept in front of anyone but Data in years. Deanna remained silent, stroking her hair, and hugging her tight. Their solidarity in that moment could not be broken.

“We will figure this out,” Deanna assured Faith in a firm voice that she rarely used. “We will find out who did this and make sure they pay.”

“Where’s Data?”

“He is still conducting interviews. We thought it would be best to wait until you were awake before telling him. It’s your business after all, not ours. Would you like us to call for him?”

Faith stayed nuzzled against Deanna. Normally, she would have immediately said yes, but given his new emotional state and how important the interviews were, she was forced to think about what was best for everyone, not just herself. Duty won out in the end.

“Let’s wait until he’s done,” she said. “He’ll rush up here the second he can and we need all the information they can get. I don’t want to jeopardize finding the mole. Removing them is our best way of cutting off Konro’s intel.”

The door opened and Beverly walked in with a comforting smile. “You’re awake,” she said, moving to stand by Deanna. “I am sorry for the sedation but you tried to hurt yourself.”

That was news to Faith. When she looked down, she realized her hands were covered with gloves, a protective measure to prevent her from injuring herself. She hadn’t noticed until that moment.

“I don’t remember that part.”

That troubled Faith greatly. In her numerous anxiety attacks over the years, she had never once tried to physically harm herself. That had been a line she hadn’t crossed.

Until now.

Beverly sat on the edge of the bed. “You were hyperventilating and were trying to find a way to breathe,” she explained gently. “No harm was done. The gloves are just a precaution.”

They fell into silence. With the sedation, Faith did not have the urge or energy to talk. Neither did Deanna or Beverly. There was a sense of understanding that Faith didn’t have to go into more detail about her feelings because, on some level, they understood.

Surrounded by her two friends, Faith could feel their love and concern. Her eyelids drooped but she didn’t want to fall asleep again. Her need for answers was stronger than the pull of blissful darkness.

“How many were there?” she asked.

Beverly rubbed soothing circles on her back. “Many.”

That answer wasn’t good enough for Faith. “I want a number,” she demanded.

Deanna and Beverly shared a look before they met her gaze once more. “Are you sure that’s wise?” Deanna asked.

“Fuck wise. I need to know.”

“There were hundreds,” Beverly said. “And that was what Wesley was able to recover. Most likely there were more.”

Fresh tears came. “Shit.” She had started to hope it wasn’t as bad as she thought. Turned out it was worse.

Deanna hugged her tighter and Beverly joined the embrace. Faith cried until she didn’t have any tears left until her sobs were dry and full of gasps. The medication kept her breathing going, stopped her from spiraling once more. However, it also made her exhausted. Once she had expended what little energy she had, she knew she would fall back to sleep.

“Rest, Faith,” Deanna said, stroking her curls. “I will be right here. I won’t leave until Data comes.”

“You’re safe here,” Beverly assured her.

“Nowhere is safe,” Faith muttered, her eyes falling closed. “That’s been taken away.”

They said nothing, only held her until she drifted back into nothing.

[sodiumlamp]

Picard

I hate this show so much.

It's not that bad, I guess. I've said before, the actors are talented, and the production values are generally pretty impressive. You can tell a lot of work went into this. It's not like they just put a hand puppet on the screen and had him go "Herpy-derp I am the Picard! Watch me make poopie!" We're a long way from rock bottom.

But it's still really unsatisfying to watch this thing. I find myself thinking of all the "bad" Trek episodes I've seen in the past, and pretty much all of them would be more fun to watch than this. Quark impersonating his mother? Better than Picard. Dr. Crusher fucks a candle ghost? Better than Picard. Warp 10 Humanders? Not even a question, that episode kicked ass. I mean, it was really stupid, but the real worst episode of Voyager was "Retrospect". Still, both of those were better than Picard.

Let's branch out a little. Dragon Ball GT? Better than Picard. The Proposal? Yeesh, that's a close one. No, Betty White was in that. Still better than Picard. Hocus Pocus? I mean, it's shorter than Picard. I'm trying to think of something objectively worse than watching this show, and I think I'm having to dip into just bad life experiences, like getting dumped or being unemployed.

Let me try to get to this particular episode. It's S2E5, "Watcher". They call it that because the Borg Queen advised Picard to locate a "watcher" who was a potential ally in the mission to fix time. Picard found her last episode, but she's actually a "supervisor" like Gary Seven from the TOS episode. See, we're doing callbacks to Gary fucking Seven here, but this show still can't figure out why Picard and Guinan don't remember meeting in 1893.

I don't think they ever named this "supervisor" character. They should call her "Gary Eight" because fuck it. Anyway, her job is to shepherd the career of astronaut Renee Picard, who's due to go on a spaceflight, but she's got the same anxiety/depression that everyone in 2024 has. Also everyone in 2401 has it too, so time is a flat circle.

Renee's therapist, Q, is trying to talk her out of going on the mission, so Picard's like "Aha! That's just the sort of trick that asshole likes to play." Except no it isn't, he's the one who showed Picard the altered timeline and gave him the opportunity to go back and try to fix it. Why would he be the one trying to fuck things up?

Apparently Q's powers don't work right now, so he does a side plan where he contacts Noonien Soong's ancestor and cures his daughter's comic book mutation to save her life. In exchange he wants Soong's help to do... something. I don't even feel like speculating. This show just drains all the enthusiasm right out of me.

There's a lot of doubles in this show. The Watcher/Supervisor/Gary Eight looks like Laris, but without the Romulan ears. This is never explained. When Raffi and Seven save Rios from ICE, there's an Elnor lookalike on the bus with Rios. This is never explained. The Soong ancestors look exactly like Alton Soong and Soji from Season 1. This... kind of makes sense, but there was no reason to have them be the Soongs. If Brent Spiner wanted to be in the show so damn badly he shouldn't keep asking the writers to kill him off.

None of this crap matters. They could have jumped straight from Episode 2 to Episode 6 and it would have been fine. Picard goes straight to the Watcher to find out about Renee, and they can just skip the bit with Jurati merging with the Borg Queen, since I'm pretty sure that won't amount to anything anyway.

[thegeminisage]

tng update time. last night we did "heart of glory" and "arsenal of freedom."

heart of glory verdict: REALLY GOOD. i knew going in this was a worf episode but i was NOT expecting the scene at the beginning with geordi! that could have easily been its own episode but it was SO COOL to see how he sees finally - i had been wondering about it.

after watching tholian web i decided it was silly for them to go to that other ship where life support was failing with NO SPACE SUITS. i guess it wouldn't have helped in the event the ship blew up but come on

klingon death ritual a little unsettling at first but actually later i decided it was metal as hell.

worf's dilemma was so good. like in the naked time when he went THAT WORLD IS ALIEN TO ME NOW you can see that he's at odds with both where he came from and where he is now and doesn't feel totally at home in either, which, frankly, is spockcore (honorific). he instantly shot up several spaces in my tng character ranking

and his solution was so good! like, these wackos dont represent what he really wants because they arent Real Klingons theyre extremists or whatever. ik it's a little bit of a copout in some ways but it was kind of nice for him to be able to form his own, third answer to "who's better, humans or klingons." like sometimes the answer is neither are really connecting with me rn im just gonna keep truckin

i will say that there were hints of people doubting worf's loyalties here and him straight up killing that other dude put it all to bed. dont EVER question him again. i'll kill you.

also lowkey racist when that klingon picked the little girl up and everybody went to pieces :/

him promising he was just being polite and didnt want to leave the enterprise lol. everybody stared until he promised TWICE. so true. possibly my fav tng episode so far

arsenal of freedom: NOT that great. not sure why we were watching that one except the lists said to.

i recognized the peddler from other shows, probably b*ffy in this instance. he just has one of those faces

the whole time dr crusher was in the hole i kept waiting for them to huddle for warmth and then they DIDNT. not that i even necessarily wanted to see her demeaned to this level like it would've made me mad but WHY ELSE would you mention she's cold. like i'm also mad that they didn't

also this could've been a tos episode. imagine if bones was in a little hole and spock and kirk had to set his broken arm and unbury him and keep him warm. i know that's just the empath. shut up

kind of dumb of her not to mention she had a leg wound when it was quite literally covered in dirt. girl come on

anyway i liked her acting in this scene. ultimately i've just decided i'm glad they didn't cuddle because this is one of the first times i've seen her as a person and not a Woman(tm). the other time was that other episode where she was nerd out about uh...oh man now i'm mad i can't remember. she was nerding out about some science thing or some famous science person in an episode we watched not too long ago and i liked that too. and then forgot to make a note of it. rip dr crusher :(

ALSO. sorry. if they were getting shot at it was dumb of them to send data alone down into the hole. everybody should have gone into the hole for safety. or data should have pulled picard up so they had an extra phaser. cmon

anyway i liked geordi's thing in this ep. that guy invalidating him was horrible and i'm glad he got to have the last word and also get his moment. GEORDI DESERVES A MOMENT. the ship splitting up is still fucking hilarious to me though. there's so many logical problems with this it makes your head spin

also, once again, there should NOT !!! be children on a starship. insane.

next i am doing "symbiosis" on my own and then tomorrow we're doing "skin of evil" together.

[sineala]

i really hope you are still doing this because i'm about to ask director's commentary for my favorite fic of all time, Straight on till Morning!

I am still doing this! I just like having an excuse to talk about my fic! I am not having much luck actually writing fic at this moment so I feel like talking about my fic might help.

This fic was an idea that I'd been kicking around in my head for a while, because Star Trek is one of my oldest fandoms and has been pretty consistently on my mind for most of my life, and when I get into new fandoms I usually end up plotting Star Trek crossovers in my head, though other than this one I'd never actually written one down.

So I started out trying to give the Avengers bridge crew positions on a starship, like you do, and I thought it would be interesting if Tony had left Starfleet but returned due to some trauma paralleling Vietghanistan. (Phoenix had to remind me that Picard also has an artificial heart -- somehow I had forgotten that -- so then I figured I could just do that for Tony too.) It was a little tricky trying to come up with a background that would make Tony feel like Tony in a civilization with no money but eventually just decided he was going to be A Really Good Engineer. I couldn't decide whether Tony would be Steve's chief engineer or Steve's second in command and then eventually decided, well, why not both? Spock can be science officer and XO, after all.

Obviously Steve was going to be the captain of a starship, right? That's Steve. He's the captain.

At this point it was basically just a fun little recasting and I wasn't planning on actually writing this because I didn't have a plot in mind and I couldn't think of anything really compelling. There has to be a story that only works as a Star Trek fusion, otherwise why would I write one? I mean, sure, just to put the two universes together I could write a little ficlet but I felt like if I wanted a proper full-length story it had to be something that had to benefit from both universes. And then I was trying to come up with Steve's background, and something that's going to make Steve sound like Steve is him being from the past and getting frozen, which is even more plausible in a setting that routinely employs cryogenics compared to, say, the handwaving in 616. So Steve is a captain from, say, the Earth-Romulan War, a hero who sacrificed himself nobly and then gets frozen and woken up in the present and that feels very Steve.

And then I kept thinking about cryogenics in Trek. And then I thought some more about "Space Seed" and Khan and his supermen. And I thought, oh, geez, it's a good thing Steve isn't Captain America in this fusion because there is no one the Federation would hate more than a twentieth-century genetically-engineered superhuman and that's exactly who Captain America is. And then my brain went, oh now that is interesting.

That's a story that you can tell about Steve that is different and interesting and only really works in a Star Trek fusion. In pretty much every Marvel continuity, Captain America is a good guy. Captain America is respected. He's a hero. But not here. Here, what he is is an Augment. His existence is, in most Trek eras, illegal. This is basically the one universe where as soon as anyone finds out who Steve is, they're absolutely going to hate him. And if I set it up so that Steve has recently woken up from a hundred years ago, then you're not really going to expect him also having woken up from World War II, because why would you think Captain America exists in this universe when I've already shown you the backstory you think matches his? And then Tony gets out his Captain America poster and you see where this is going.

I guess a thing about me is that I really like writing stories where you know exactly where this is going but you are hopefully going to be excited to see how it gets there. (I was deeply into Babylon 5 as a teenager, which was arc TV before arc TV was cool, and it had a lot of foreshadowing.) I want people to see what's coming and say OH HO HO HO popcorn.gif to themselves, because as soon as you see that Captain America exists in this universe you know who it's going to be. My favorite endings are always the ones you can see coming from miles away.

(And then of course Tony would learn to love and accept him anyway because Getting Over Your Prejudices is a very Star Trek storyline although I feel like that specific prejudice is one the Federation doesn't really get over, last I checked.)

That was when I knew I was going to write this, and I ended up writing it for a Big Bang and getting amazing art from Phoenix and Ran, both of whom were awesome and also helped me check some of the little Trek canon details. I set this during the TOS movies pretty much solely so I could make the two of them draw me Steve and Tony in the movie-era uniforms because all the Trek crossover art I have seen is TOS TV era.

I ended up just smashing Skrulls and sex pollen together to make a plot because I figured why not take a very Marvel plot and a very Trek plot and that way it will feel like both canons? I was really going for that Trek sense of optimism about the future. I hope I got there.

And, yes, I am still working on the sequel. I know it's been years. I'm just waiting for there to maybe not be so much of a pandemic before I finish writing the story that is unfortunately about a fictional pandemic (I stole it from Marvel and, no, it is not the Legacy Virus) because I swear I have the worst timing. The plot is also a Trek plot and a Marvel plot smashed together, and it's Steve's POV this time, and I was just about to write the scene I had been dying to write the entire story for (it would be incredibly incredibly angsty, the scene where Everything Is At Its Worst, you know the sort of the thing I mean) and then 2020 happened and I was like "writing about a pandemic doesn't sound escapist anymore" so, you know... maybe someday. They are actually going to cure their pandemic in the story though.

So I don't know who all is going to still care about this fandom when I finish writing it, but I promised it for a charity auction, so it is going to get done. Someday. The 130,000 words of it are just waiting for me to write the last couple chapters. I don't know when. But it's gonna happen.

[celestialholz]

Celestial Live-Reacts: STP 2.9, 'Hide and Seek'

... Oh go on, STP. Give me some more homosexuality, even though we can't possibly have Q here this week. There just hasn't been enough recently. 😂

Let's kill some fucking Borg!

This storm bodes well...

Oh dear god, SO many Borg... 😅

... The ex is here, awkward

Creepy tech vines from episode one, loooovely... great drip though 😍

... Are those future guns, Estonia? Where the bloody hell did you get those from 😆

Ah fuck, RIP you guys...

Titles! The higher the stakes get, the more this theme straight-up slaps. ❤ It's so goddamn good.

Today in Deeply Unsurprising News: no John in the credits. Valid - you assimilate Q, you destroy this franchise. Let's see how much indirect Q there is in this episode...

... There's no Q in this episode - which leaves us exactly one place to put that 'whisper' John mentioned in a pre-series interview as his favourite moment of the series. I always knew where it was going, but dear god, AGT 2.0 - I'm going to fucking die 😂😭

So many laser sights, dear christ

"I won't let you take this ship" - me @ Qcard 😆

"Do you know what it feels like to put my hands around my friend's throat and not be able to do a goddamn thing about it?" Fight on, Agnes 👏

"I had to know why - millions of planets and species, and still you needed more." "Perfection takes time, dear." "It was never enough, because you're just like me - lonely." ... Is this a bloody mirror, three minutes in? Because it sounds very Q...

"Time is on our side..." we can but HOPE that's a Qcard mirror 😆

Go on, Agnes with the stall!

Emergency Combat Hologram Elnor, dear god. Murder son: activate 😂

"They aren't people out there, they're BORG." Poor, traumatised Seven 😔 But she was the one that Picard ultimately listened to, and that ended with him dismissing Queen Agnes... let's see if she grows, too ❤

Sun flashback! Here we fucking go, sun's out folks 😂

"Can we play a game?" God, this man's always loved the thrill of a challenge, hasn't he...

"Curmudgeon." 😆

Maurice and Yvette are very sweet ❤

"Cover your eyes, count to five, and come find me." ... Is that you, season three?

Rios honey nooooo 😭

"... Now turn it off." LOOK AT HIM, SAVING HIS SPACE SON 😍

"He'll only get himself killed trying to help us" - seems familiar 😂😔

Oh fuck you Adam 😡

"The enemy of every experiment is the rogue variable - that is what you are to me." Look at that glossy, glossy dark!Q mirror - in all the wonders of the cosmos, Picard is his rogue variable, and he adores him for it ❤

Tunnels! Knew they'd be using these

Spiner-Stewart sparkle 😍

War wives 😍

Girls who shank together, stay together 😂

Past home was so very bright...

The fleur-du-lis, the 'flower of light'. Wow.

And speaking of which... "You're my light, Jean-Luc - the light that always draws me out. Guide your own way. Find me." ... Sorry, did they miss the part in editing where they stuck John de Lancie's voice over that, my god

House is bright, tunnels are dark...

So, Jean-Luc lived in a house made from war. Yeah, sounds about right 😔

Maurice really was a good man, bless him ❤

"Janeway went to bat for me"? And they said no? My god, the balls on these guys 😂

"You really would make a great captain. When we get out of this -" "We're not getting out of this." "... No, probably not." Captain Seven WHEN 👏

Murder son has a sword now

Theresa be like "uhm no"

"A miracle cure, surrounded by miracles - knowing, win or lose, we'll have to let them go." ... Oh, beautiful. ❤

Adam, get away from there or so help me

... I'm probably reaching, but these lanterns are a bit sun-esque...

"You've won... but I'm lost." Oh, how very evocative. 😔

"Did you know that space is so vast, so infinite, it takes billions of years for that tiny pinprick to make that... lonely journey from its star to our eyes? The brilliance you see in the night sky, Jean-Luc, that exquisite light... it's just an echo of a star that's long since faded. Like me."

...

...

... Well, apparently Yvette Picard was a Borg, because she's got me in her cross-sight and I have been executed. Direct hit, woman's an assassin. What the fuck is THIS

... Really, guys? After Q compared himself to a 'dying star' last week, and we know he's the fucking sun? ARE WE REALLY DOING THIS RIGHT NOW, are we really implying that Q had zero sense of purpose before Jean-Luc, jesus christ 😭😭😭

I mean, we knew he was hopeless now, but sweet heavens...

"When you remember me, Jean-Luc, promise, promise me, that you will ignore the coldness of a dying star, and remember instead her light." ... Yes okay great, I'm already dead, you can stop now...

"... And the infinite love she so very much had for you."

...

... I am ruined. What in god's name am I experiencing here 😭😭

... So, just to summarise: 'I had nothing of value, before you, for billions of years. And I'll have nothing again without you, so I'll sacrifice myself happily if you get to survive. Just make sure you remember me as more than this, this 'fading away'... and how much I loved you, always and forever.' We just HAD to put the 'infinite' in there for maximum angst didn't we...

... You know, there are many things in this world that are okay. This is comprehensively not one of those. This is stunningly awful, excuse me a moment...

*screams into the endless void for ten minutes* Goddammit. Bless his heart, give him his little FRENCHMAN. 😍😭

... There's no actual chance they're not doing canon Qcard after that. Absolutely zero. 😭 And I am going to be SO HAPPY when Q finally gets what he so richly deserves. ❤❤ He has been nothing but a wonderful and supportive and respectful entity for thirty-five bloody years, he deserves EVERYTHING.

... I'm wrecked, how am I supposed to watch the rest of this after THAT 😂

"My father took her and locked her in that room." The 'curmudgeon'. The stoic. The grumpy. He taught him not to feel, and all the feeling in the cosmos is behind that door... 😔

"Let me out, Jean-Luc. Only you can save me." Only you can save me, dear god. He's literally the only thing that can. Who allowed this episode, I didn't come here asking for death 😂

Keyhole. Opening credits. Q. Sun door. Braindead 😂

He opened it, and he's going to do it again, one last time...

Jean-Luc Picard with a gun! Finally, I'm straight for someone who isn't John de Lancie!

Samurai Elnor, my favoured son 😍

Reuniiiiited and it feels so gooooood...

Seven be like "yes this is very wholesome BUT WE'RE DYING" 😆

"I didn't keep you with me because I was afraid of you being by yourself - I kept you back because I was frightened for me, of being alone." - A key difference. Q allows Picard the freedom of choice and faces his fear alone, because he's unselfish. ❤😭

"His last thoughts of you were not of blame, but of love." Oh, I bet they will be. 😭😭

Freeing Raffi of some guilt... Picard, too?

His mother is wearing white

Phased the Borg into a wall 🤣

Oh FUCK, Seven 😭

"Set course for the Delta Quadrant." *distant sounds of maniacal coffee brewing*

... Oh dear god Agnes

"I'm no stranger to lost lab rats," you bastard you

Oh dear, dear Picard...

Good girl Agnes, beautifully done 😍

Sadness, loss, despair - basically, what happens when you hurt my friends." 😔

"Do the math - in this and any other universe, you always lose." Mmmm, the mirror. Picard always wins, whatever the timeline, and this time, they both lose. 😭

"You live with the death knell of your own across species across infinite timelines" - the Continuum????? 🤔

"You long for what we all long for - connection, longevity, discovery... only you offer it without choice." Could not be Q 🙃

Agnes, out here changing Borg philosophy. 😍 And this is why they had to join the Federation...

"To men like us, love and fear... same thing." Dark!Q again - love will stop Q being so afraid. 😔

"Not assimilation, but salvation." ... Oh, Jean-Luc. If only you'd heard this... if only you'd known. "Shall we see what else has been lost in the wake of your fear?" 😔

"Someone who used their Borg half to serve as the best of humanity" - STP out here really making the Borg vaguely wholesome, what the fuck 😂

"Let's build a universe of Sevens." ❤ I'm down.

"In another future, we might have become friends." What you did there, I see it. 😆 He really is dark!Q though, god - the killer vs. the saviour...

This whole thing about Rios 'going', and Theresa hating that and being very worried, after 2.8's Spanish madness...

"What if your future was here, and it was always supposed to be?" ❤

Rios Q kissing her him? *cue Celestial's mind boggling in the middle distance*

"Theresa, I -" Wow. Just wow.

Nice save, Rios... who mirrors Q... error 404, brainwaves not found on this reviewer 😂

Key... wouldn't be TO A WHITE DOOR, would it, Jean-Luc?

Is she assimilating Seven, or nanoprobing her?

Rios is fucking amazing, what a hero 😍

... And then he outsmarts Soong. Mirror, thy name is Cristobal 😆

"She'll live, but there's a cost in saving her" - Borg 2: Electric Boogaloo? 🤔

Seven is emotionally wrecked, bless her 😔

"I have to get to the ship. You're welcome, by the way." 😆

She hung herself. In white. God...

"Those moments, tragic endings, might rewind into joyful beginnings" - oh look, it's the plot of series three 😆

"Moments of loss, into those of gains" - white door's your destiny, petal. It'll be better, this time. So much better. ❤

"For all I've seen and done, this is the moment I've kept myself from remembering." Bless him. 😭

"This moment I'm so powerless to reverse... I'm told my mother was ill, but I only ever thought she was inspired." 😭

"... For her own safety, for mine as well - but she begged me to help her, told me how much she needed me, how much she needed my help... and this is the part I've spent my whole life trying not to remember. I thought I was saving her, so after he fell asleep... I let her out, you see. If only I had left that door closed, she might have become an old woman..." Good sweet gods above. 😔😔

... And this is why he's not paying attention to Q. This is why Q won't just tell him the solution, traumatise him further. Dear hell.

"I used to imagine seeing her older, offering me a cup of tea, and asking for a chat. This skeleton key migrates its way all over the house... I wish that day that it hadn't ended up in my hand."

... Oh fucking hell. And it will. You're going to be the one that kills him, because you didn't learn. You didn't listen, again. This is what's being lost in the wake of your fear, dear... 😭😭 Bless these hopeless idiots both, it's going to be wondrous when they find each other next year...

Also, 'I used to imagine seeing her older...' Silver Fox Q with the cup of earl grey in 2.5, I'm just saying 😍

"I loved her. Desperately." Mmm, did you now...

"No reason to run from ourselves, or away from each other. Love can be a curse, but always and completely, a gift." Thank you, Estonia. That's absolutely gorgeous, and has a lovely half-hug of trauma recovery to top it off. ❤ He'll remember that. He shatters the glass, he lets the sunlight in...

... And nothing remotely romantic about that. One good friend, supporting another good friend, where they could have shoved a desperately awkward kiss in there. Really appreciate you for not doing that, writers. You've learned from series one. ❤

He's slowly letting go, bless him ❤

"Well, that's impossible, because no matter how you come, Borg or human, you are the most extraordinary person I know." 😍 Most supportive wife ever.

That's GROWTH, Seven. 👏

Agnes @ Picard: "Save me this time, space dad"

"There must be two Renees," excuse me?

... Ship's gone. That's Q getting them home, then...

"She took my ship" 😆

Bless him and his concern for Seven ❤

"Well, we've lost a friend" - oh, you're going to lose a lot more than that shortly, darling...

"I refuse to accept an outcome that has not yet occurred." Fair enough, could not be me - Q is so gone. Oh my god, entity is toast. 😭

... So when I said I hoped Q was symbolically here, THIS IS NOT WHAT I FUCKING MEANT CBS 😂 Oh my god...

Celestial Rating: 10/10.

Doesn't miss a single emotional beat, tells an excellent and awful tale, and has comprehensively destroyed me in the process. God, there is not going to be enough wine in all of the damn Chateau for next week, is there... *advanced sobbing* 😭

[yourbuerokrat2]

I love the scenario of Picard getting drunk and ending up cofessing he loves Q, thinking that would get rid of him somehow if Q got exactly what he wanted(a confession, maybe even a night) but deeply regretting how Q actually does mean it about loving him back

It was a horrible, horrible realization that hit him in the courtroom during the last Trial. When Q leant forward, Picards heart skipped a beat and he found himself thinking about leaning forward as well for a kiss.

The first thought after this was, that Q must have made him think that. But not only does he not actually think, that Q would do somthing like this, but Q also showed no signs of knowing about Picards inner shock and embarrassing feelings.

Perhaps it was just the courtroom and the immense power imbalance, that brought up this strange and entirely unwelcome desire. But no, when he was back in his quarter he woke up from a dream (nightmare. it was as nightmare) in the middle of the night.

Q showing up more and more to annoy him also did not help the situation.

By the way Q grinned at him and continued to ignore his personal space together with the mock-flirting, Picard suspected that Q might have caught on to Picards secret.

When Deanna wanted to talk about him, about things she felt coming from him on the Bridge, he decided that perhaps a few glasses of the wine bottles he still had from the last time his brother sent him wine from France as birthday gifts were not that bad.

A few glasses turned into a bottle and when he was about to fill up his fifth glass, Q arrived.

"Come to torment me again, have you"?, Picard asked him, with a slight slur to his voice.

"Now, mon capitaine, I thnk we both know that nothing that I have done during our last meetings can really count as me 'torment' you."

"Don't play innoncent with me, Q.", Picard said as half heartedly pointed his finger at Q.

"I know that you know, that I... You know exactly what you are doing, with your flirting and being so close to me."

Q looked a bit nervous.

"I have no idea, what you are talking about, Jean-Luc."

Picard, in his drunk stupor, looked at Q. Clearly Q has known what he was doing, this suspicion was now to Picard confirmed by the way Q nervously avoiding eye contact while still trying to play it of in a nonchalant way.

The question was, why? After all, he still remembered how Q called Picards feelings for Vash 'a weakness' and he also got talk about Qs reaction to Amanda Rogers crush on Riker.

So, Qs or at least this Q were opposed to the human concept of 'love'. And how could Q not? After all, if Q as Data said really viewed him as some kind of pet, than this whole ordeal about finding out Picard has feelings for him, must be rather amusing. Though, Picard thinks, pet was perhaps the wrong word. 

Q probably suspected that Picard was interested in him, but finding out just how deep Picards interest and attraction went, could prove to be the way to get rid of Q for good. Well, aside from his duties as humanitys judge.

After all, it must be so strange and perhaps even disgusting for Q to find out that a lowly human is in love with him. 

He just hoped that whatever Q would make of his confession would be brief and that he wouldn't make mention of it to his crew or anyone else.

"I am in love with you."

It was a fact. A rather uncomfortable fact, but still a fact.

Q for one of the few times in his eternal life, was speechless.

"Come again?"

"I am in love with you, Q"

From one second to the next he was completly sober, as if someone drained every last drop of alcohol from his body.

"Say it again."

"I am in love with you, Q."

He did not say it with a smile or a blush. He looked straight at a disbelieving Q.

'You saw my cards. Let me see yours and then let's end this and never speak of this again.'

Picard expected Q to laugh, to belittle him, give him condescending pity or a arrogant or even awkward rejection.

And then to hopefully disappear, never to be seen again. 

What he did not expect was to suddenly find himself standing in the middle of his bedroom and being kissed by Q

And while this was not expected, it was not entirely unwelcome. After all, he has made peace with his own attraction towards him and maybe this was hopefully meant as Qs last goodbye. 

Though as he heard what Q was muttering between the kisses, the reality that this was not at all a rejection or a goodbye, set it.

And as he got pushed unto his own bed, he  said.

“Q stop it.”

A deliriously happy seeming Q stopped. 

“Was I a bit too fast, mon armour?”, Q asked with a grin. 

A part of Picard really wanted to continue, but the more reasonable part reminded him of the possible consequences.

“Listen,Q, I know that perhaps in the heat of the moment you are thinking and saying things you don’t really mean..”

“Oh, but I mean everything. Have meant to tell you, but never knew when and if you need me to do something to prove how much I love you just say it and it will be done.”

Ok, how was he going to get himself out of this situation?

“I do believe, that you could possibly .. love me. But I don’t think that any relationship between us would work out.

“The only thing that matters is that I love you and you love me. And if anything  even tries to get between us, I’ll just get rid of it.”

Merde.

[brilliantlycute]

My favourite Star Trek quotes:

In honour of Star Trek`s 55th birthday:

“This vessel... I give, she takes. She won`t permit me my life, I`ve got to live hers.” - James T. Kirk

“I have been, and always shall be your friend.” - Spock

“You treat her like a lady... and She`ll always bring you home.” - Leonard McCoy

“I`ll have him eating out of my hand, and I`ll meet you at the rendezvous point. Oh! and Admiral: all my hopes.” - Nyota Uhura

“WHATTAYA STANDING AROUND FOR! Ye not know a jailbreak when ye SEE one???” - Montgomery Scott

“Those two men on trial I served with them for a long time. I owe them my life a dozen times over. (...) they`re in trouble and I`m going to help them; regulations be damned.” - Hikaru Sulu

“We are on an enemy wessel; I do not wish to get shot down on the way to our own funeral.” - Pavel Chekov

"It is possible to commit no mistakes and still lose. That is not a weakness; that is life.” - Jean Luc Picard

“Fate protects fools, little children, and ships named Enterprise.” - William T. Riker

“Confidence is faith in oneself. It can`t be easily be given by another.” - Deanna Troi

“It is the struggle itself that is most important. We must strive to be more than we are. It does not matter that we will never reach our ultimate goal. The effort yields its own rewards.” - Data

“You know, I`ve never seen a sunrise... at least, not the way you see them.” - Geordi La Forge

“Perhaps today is a good day to die! Prepare for ramming speed!” - Worf

“If there is nothing wrong with me, maybe there`s something wrong with the universe.” - Beverly Crusher

“When a man is convinced he`s going to die tomorrow, he`ll probably find a way to make it happen.” - Guinan

“That is the exploration that awaits you: Not mapping stars and studying nebula, but charting the unknown possibilities of existence.” - Q

“The most profound discoveries are not necessarily beyond that next star. They`re within us, woven into the threads that bind us, all of us, to each other.” - Jonathan Archer

“You think that the loss of a colleague or a friend doesn`t affect us? It does, but if we give in to those emotions, they overwhelm us. You`re the ones to be envied.” - T `pol

“You can all go straight to Hell!” - Charles ´Trip` Tucker III

“Deception and surprise can be just as potent as brute force.” - Malcolm Reed

“It took a while, but I finally found my space legs.” - Hoshi Sato

“If you`re going to try to embrace new worlds, you must try to embrace new ideas.” - Phlox

“I lived on Earth for more than thirty years (...) I developed an affinity for your world and its people.” - Soval

“The real world doesn`t always adhere to logic: Sometimes down is up, sometimes up is down, and sometimes when you`re lost, you`re found.” - Michael Burnham

“I saw hope, in the stars. It was stronger than fear. And I went towards it.” - Saru

“At the quantum level, there is no difference between biology and physics (...) spores. What are they? (...) They are the building blocks of energy across the universe. Physics and biology? No; physics as biology.” - Paul Stamets

“It`s never good-bye (...) Nothing in here is truly gone. I believe in you, Paul. I love you. Follow the music, Paul. Look for the clearing in the forest. Open your eyes.” - Hugh Culber

“When people who are supposed to care about you don`t listen to you, it`s frightening and it`s lonely, and it makes you feel like you are crazy or like you`re like not even there. I get that.” - Sylvia Tilly

“Battle is not a simulation. It`s blood and screams and funerals. We don`t start shooting on a hunch. And we don`t take innocent lives, period.” - Capt. Philippa Georgiou

“It`s going to hurt. And I`d like to hear you scream, now.” - Emperor Philippa Georgiou

“Be bold. Be brave. Be courageous. Black Alert.” - Christopher Pike

[jimintomystery]

Picard 2: Pick Harder

I am currently digging Star Trek: Picard. Season two is heading into the home stretch, so this might be my last chance to talk about where I think the story is going. Spoilers for episode 8 under the cut...

(Above: Not a spoiler. At least, I assume it's not...)

This season's arc has gotten pretty far afield, so I want to revisit the inciting incident. Admiral Picard (along with most of the main cast from season 1) joins a Starfleet task force monitoring a weird spatial anomaly. A Borg ship emerges, asking for help from Picard, by name. The Queen comes aboard the lead ship and does...something that affects the whole fleet. Picard uses the auto-destruct sequence, everyone is apparently destroyed. Picard wakes up in an alternate timeline, where he is greeted by Q.

From there we learn that something changed history in 2024--Earth is run by an evil "Confederation"--and Q acts as though Picard is to blame. It also appears that Q is in poor health somehow. But Q refuses give Picard a straight explanation, and Picard refuses to play Q's games. So Jean-Luc rounds up the gang from season one plus the Queen (who are, for some reason, the only ones who remember the "real" timeline) and they travel back in time to stop Q from changing history. It immediately caught my attention that no one ever bothered to confirm that Q actually did anything in the first place.

By the end of episode 8, it's clear that our heroes' efforts are more likely to screw up the timeline than save it. Seven and Raffi are particularly concerned with the Borg Queen escaping in Jurati's body and assimilating 21st century Earth. But I think the problem is more fundamental than that. I think Picard's crew is creating the scenario that they went back to prevent.

The show nearly spells this out when Queen!Jurati seeks assistance from Adam Soong. A 2024 spaceflight will either make a critical scientific discovery on Europa, or it won't. If it happens, Soong's eugenics work will become obsolete; if not, Soong will be the hero that saves the world. It stands to reason that the latter condition gives rise to the Confederation. By bringing the Queen back to 2024 and allowing her to hook up with Soong, Picard has put the Europa mission in more jeopardy than if he'd done nothing.

One problem: Picard was stuck in the Confederation timeline before he went back in time to bring it about. But that's just the same chicken-or-the-egg paradox that Q and Picard went over in "All Good Things..." I believe this story following a similar pattern--Picard's attempt to solve a problem is the problem, and Q never does anything but warn him about it.

With that in mind, I expect Queen!Jurati to construct some kind of Borg ship in 2024, and somehow come through the anomaly we saw in episode one, in 2401. That would explain why the Queen was wearing that weird helmet and speaking with a distorted voice, to conceal that she's in Jurati's body. I still don't entirely understand why the Queen told Jean-Luc "look up" before the explosion, but it felt very much like the writers saying "he didn't figure it out this time, so he has to go around the loop and try again."

To sum up, this is my theory: Team Picard will confront the Queen in 2024 and save the Europa mission, but it'll happen in a way that sets up an endless time loop. The paradoxical nature of the loop is somehow harmful to the Q Continuum, and reality itself. The only patch Q can come up with is to switch over to the Confederation timeline. However, Q arranged for Picard to become aware of the situation, in the hopes that Picard can find some better solution--a solution that averts the Confederation, stops the Queen, and breaks the loop. Unfortunately, it's probably going to take Picard a few cycles through the loop to figure that out, which is why Q is so impatient with him.

[kncrowder88]

Voyager and Romance

So, the thing about Voyager and romance that sticks with me is they seem to do one couple really, or more accurately two characters, any real justice overall. And that is B’Elanna and Tom. While moments for that relationship may not be perfect that is rather realistic for relationships, as no relationship is perfect all the time so that is tolerable. This post though isn’t going to be about looking at that particular relationship though but primarily at other relationships. Largely because a discord server I am in was talking about Counterpoint and I realized why I both love the episode but also have weird feelings with it. Which, I’ll touch more on that specifically after I discuss the relationship stuff (as that plays a part).

So, I will preface this with it has been a bit since I’ve done a binge of Voyager and really a full binge of Star Trek in general. As such, I may forget a few relationships on the show and overall, throughout Trek in general. From what I can really toss together … I honestly am beginning to believe that when it comes to Voyager and the other shows (the older ones not the new ones – I am not including any NEW Trek in this) that for some reason the relationship writing with Voyager was rather different. Like, they gave 3 characters active relationships prior to being stranded. That being Harry Kim, Kathryn Janeway, and Tuvok. Out of these three we get Janeway and Tuvok holding onto those relationships in their own way while … it seemed mildly convenient for Harry to mention it when it suited him, I guess (like that time Tom wanted to set them up for a double date or you know when he ended up in that alternate timeline but still wanted back with Voyager even more like). Like, the reason I don’t list Tuvok-T’Pel above is because we don’t actually get to SEE that in full, we just get to see Tuvok’s side of it and his dedication – we don’t see the relationship, we don’t see the couple.

Harry and Tom, prior to his relationship with B’Elanna, seem to frequently do this sort of two bros dating around thing which is fine but like … same time the show used them for that. And once they settled Tom with B’Elanna they used Harry in those plot lines when it worked. Thus the alien STD episode and the “how dare you not get the standard permission from your CO and CMO” line (like they really put that into a Trek ep and I’m still unable to not picture Riker, Kirk, Picard, and everyone other Trek character constantly getting permission for their latest romance – just remember Jadzia and Worf likely had to get permission from Sisko and Bashir if the Trill and Klingon weren’t already approved of in the system just saying, that’s a thing that happened). Anyways … my point is they went out of their way on this. Like, when Kes was with Neelix they wrote Neelix to be that jealous judgmental boyfriend who literally got upset she knew where other people’s quarters where, she was nice to Tom, she was … just yeah. They wrote Tom to come off as a player pulling Harry into it, when Tom settled down Harry seems to pick that up (I mean you got his “omg Seven” phase and the alien STD stuff and lord knows what else I’m forgetting with him).

And to top this off I haven’t even touched on the “Janeway can’t have a romance” stuff yet. Which is where my real problem is. Like, its bad enough they brought in Jeri for the sex appeal (which lets be honest stems from the fact they couldn’t use Janeway for that – which I get, Kate was right in the whole concept of the audience target having to keep respect for a female lead and sex appeal couldn’t be a focal point but they could have balanced it right and regrettably because they couldn’t that meant Jeri got all of the other side of the coin). Many of Seven’s eps center on romance or social stuff and honestly that is a whole other WTF post in its own right because it all leads up to the sudden get with the one person on the ship who didn’t want you here in the first place and who also would have served better as the male adult guidance figure/father figure than as a ROMANTIC partner but hey BS happened behind scenes to cause that chaotic romantic on screen set up. But yeah … this is just another example of the poor Voyager romantic plot lines.

Chakotay’s romantic plot lines are usually – and by that, I mean pretty much always – with these strong independent women. But usually, at least from what I recall, they are also typically the “needs help” (damsel in distress/can’t do it alone/etc.) plot. Like, Riley was strong independent but also set up to need help in regard to getting her little collective put back together on the planet. You got Kellin, again another strong lady who yet again also needed help. At least in the ep she’s in and if I recall much of the info on how they fell in love during that time as well – primarily with getting away from danger at the start and then during the initial romance finding her target. Valerie is the only one who doesn’t fall into the needs help plot and that’s largely because she was being manipulated by Chakotay for information – which honestly just goes to show how well Chakotay was at the whole undercover stuff (which tells us a lot about what he could have been doing as a Maquis). Seska was the plot point of “you once dated her, now she is going to badger you to get with her again and when that fails, she’s going to assault you” …. like all of Chakotay’s romances are literally him either 1) being manipulated (as that’s what Seska and Riley did) or 2) being the kind guy or 3) not an actual relationship (either because its undercover work or because the writers were too cowardly to make him and Janeway canon).

Then you got Janeway. Then you got KATHRYN JANEWAY. You know, the one where Kate Mulgrew said no romance, no sexualizing, no doing that sort of stuff because the audience had to maintain respect for the character. I’m sure someone has the exact various quotes out there. Like … this is why we don’t have JC as canon. But what we do got instead is …. Janeway in Prime Factors being flirted with by the administrator as if that’s going to get him what he wants because “female leader means flirt with her”. We got Janeway and a period drama holodeck adventure in the early years which was clearly meant to be her romantic tête-à-tête early on that never got followed up with. We got “delete the wife” with the Fair Haven plot point (because its totally respectable to see the FEMALE LEAD, the STARFLEET CAPTAIN, just straight up DELETE THE WIFE of another individual - yeah, I get its meant to be humor factor because hologram but come on). You have her whole thing with Mark which we get tidbits off but again similar to Tuvok we literally only get to see her side of it – the only couple moment of theirs we get is the comm call in Caretaker.

But Jaffen? You are correct. We got that lovely and touching and wonderful romance with Jaffen …. Oh wait … they had to remove her from the ship, strip her of her memory, and her autonomy in order for her to have a relationship with another individual. And yes, by losing her memories, by losing what made her who she was as a person, she did lose a sense of autonomy. She entered into a relationship without a full sense of independent choice. The point in which she made a choice in that episode, the point in which she – Kathryn Janeway – made a choice with all of the person, the individual she is, was at the end when she had her memories back and could decide based on the values and beliefs and all that she is. What I’m getting at is the people on that planet deliberately took away who she was, they took her memories and her ability to make the decisions they knew she would make --- they did that deliberately (that’s even established in the episode) --- and as such her decisions while in that state are not truly her full independent decisions but the ones impacted by the state she was forced into.

And while I love Resolutions, while I love all the JC goodies, we get in that ep … Yet again the only time we get to see Janeway in any sort of romantic situation is when they remove her from the ship. When they remove her from command. When they strip her of that setting. This time, though – well the first time – she keeps awareness and has to go through lose of it all in order to even start to let it all happen. I love the episode, I do, but I just find it rather amusing they went “’Hey we gotta strand them what should their tasks be on the planet?” and they immediately went “Well Janeway is scientist how about that” “Okay and he can build, Chakotay can start building. Man builds house, right?” and then like went “oh and then she can start a garden” …. Like really? Really? That’s what you got for me. Oh, and then there is the monkey. That’s the romance this ep. Boat, science, monkey.

Then we got Kashyk. We have dealt with Kathryn throughout this series dealing with various leaders of various styles. As mentioned, Prime Factors guy attempted flirting. Other leaders pulled similar or worse or even dismissed her …. Like the list goes on. Counterpoint is a great episode because it deals with prejudice and is rather dark. The thing is, had Janeway been able to have a healthy romantic relationship on screen to counter this episode this episode probably would have come off better. Episodes like Prime Factor could have been done different (that leader didn’t need to be as flirty for example). One or two eps through the series having creepy dudes she had to deal with, fine, whatever … that be a nice impact for the audience. But when you have to many prior to Counterpoint – even if its minor, small stuff – it makes this episode so much harder for fans. Especially the female fans who deal with this constantly.

See, here’s the thing with this ep…. Some of the fans who watch … we know Kashyk well. We know that character. He is that male leader, that male power figure, who uses the power he has to manipulate those in his control to get what he wants. And Kathryn … Kathryn was in his control. Kashyk is listed as a relationship on memory-alpha. But much like how I view Seska with Chakotay … I do not view Kashyk as a proper relationship. In Devore space, Kathryn did not have proper power. She had people in her command, on her ship, that she had to protect. That she knew she had to protect. Her own best friend … lives in her hand … and Kashyk right there willing to kill them. Willing to snatch them up and destroy them. And he used that power to manipulate her and play her. Yes, she played him right back but … did she truly have a choice? Did she have any other choice but to play his game? What would have happened if she said no? And that … that is why this episode is so unsettling for some people. And why this relationship being considered on is so off putting … that the writers, that memory-alpha, that the fact I’m putting it on this list as one of the ones on here for Voyager says so much … they wrote this as one of her relationships while out there … she had to do what so many women had to do to stay safe, to keep people she loves safe, and that’s not a relationship.

Voyager could have done romance/relationships such better justice.

[thecoffeenebula]

An officer’s duty

Thank youuuuuuu so much for 107 notes on my First Period fic. No joke I cried. You guys are the best!!!!

I made something else this time, I made my first Star Trek fic. I hope you like this one as well.

summary: Captain Picard checks up on the reader, who was very close to Data. They both need each others support to get through their grief. 

Star Trek (Nemesis)

Jean-Luc Picard x Reader

Warnings: angst, it's just sadness really.

(not my gif, google gets the credit)

An officer’s duty 

You were sitting alone in your quarters. Your head fell between your legs. You were holding a photograph of Data.

It’s a picture of that one time the two of you were on shore leave. Data didn’t need shore leave but he accompanied you and Geordi down to the planet. It felt like he actually was enjoying himself, even though he didn’t have emotions.

The fact that you would never take shore leave again hit you hard. You felt empty. Emptier than you have ever felt. You didn’t feel like this when Tasha died or when any of your other friends died. Data meant so much more to you than you could have ever imagined.

He always stood up for you. Took care of you when you didn’t take care of yourself.

You taught him what it meant to be human. You needed him. You couldn’t imagine what your life would be like without him. Now you didn’t have a choice but to accept that you will have to live on without him.

 Your doorbell chimed.

“Come in” you said softly.

The door opened. Captain Picard’s silhouette appeared in front of you on the floor.

You straightened yourself up.

He noticed what you were doing and put up his hand.

“At ease, lieutenant commander”

Your room was dark. Captain Picard could barely see your face. Just as you he could only see your silhouette.

 “It is very dark in here.”

You quickly tried to dry your tears before turning up the light. You had been crying for hours. It was also the main reason you dimmed the lights. You felt a lot less exposed in the darkness. Not that anyone was there, or would walk in. A luxury of being a senior officer. You just didn’t want any unexpected visitors like Picard walk in on you while you looked like a mess. Now you had to do it anyways.

 “Computer, increase lights.”

The lights went up. Everything in the room became visible. Captain Picard noticed how red your eyes were. He noticed how wet your face was. You weren’t capable of wiping everything away.

You stared at the captain who was standing in the doorframe. He seemed to be fighting back his tears as he saw your face. Feeling as hurt as you and any other crewmember onboard the Enterprise.

“How are you? Are you okay?”

You showed him a small smile.

“No, sir, I am far from okay.”

The captain didn’t seem like himself. He was probably still working through the shock. The captain had been quiet ever since the event took place. You didn’t blame him. He was there when it happened. Data did the most selfless thing ever. He sacrificed his life for Picard’s.

The captain swallowed heavily before he spoke up again.

“Lieutenant, do you blame me?”

You look up at him in surprise. You could never blame the captain for what had happened, no matter how tempting it might seem to. This was Data’s decision. Picard couldn’t do anything about this.

He could have stopped him… If only there was more time.

You already heard the story at the gathering. You were in engineering when all this took place, working on B4. You were trying to download Data’s memories into B4. He requested you to make some sort of backup. You had no idea why he asked you this. You thought it might trigger B4 to respond and function like Data would. Apparently, Data had other plans. He knew that there was a change that he wouldn’t come back.

“I could never blame you.”

Picard relaxed. Letting out a sigh of relief. You noticed how hurt Picard was. The poor man had been blaming himself for the death of his dearest friend.

“It wasn’t your fault, captain.”

The captain scoffed.

“Wasn’t it? If I didn’t go out there…. If I didn’t give him command, he wouldn’t have come out to the ship to save me.”

“You don’t know that! You know what he is like.” You heard yourself say it. “was…. what he was like.”’

You couldn’t help but break down again. The thought of him was too painful. The constant reminder that people had been giving you. Sharing their stories with them. Sharing their condolences. You couldn’t stand it anymore. The constant reminder that you had been giving yourself. He was always on your mind. Even when he was alive.

 Picard seated himself next to you wrapping his arm around you.

“He was more human than you and I could ever be.”

You tried to look at the captain. Your view was blurry because of the tears that filled your eyes.

“You meant the world to him, captain. You were his inspiration. Even if he wasn’t given command, he would’ve come after you. Anything to save you.”

 Tears formed in the captain’s eyes.

“And he was mine. Data helped me become a better man.”

You leaned your head against his shoulder.

“What will we do without him?”

“We keep him close, in our hearts. That is where he will live on. That is where he will keep inspiring us to be the people we are. It will just take time for us to get over our grief.”

“I don’t think Will and Deanna can leave just yet. The crew of the Enterprise is in need of a counselor.”

Picard laughed.

“I think this ship needs more counselors.”

 Picard noticed a box on the other side of the room. It seemed like a storage box. If he was correct, he could read the name Data on the label.

“Is that Data’s?” he pointed to the box in the corner.

You nodded your head and sat up straight.

“Geordi brought it to me after he cleared out his room. He thought I might like having these. He said there was a painting with my name on it. I haven’t dared to open it.”

 The captain stood up. “May I?”

You gave him permission to open the box. They were just filled with some personal belongings, like his pencils and a couple of pictures of you and him together.

 Picard took out the painting. It was a beautiful painting of your hometown. You told Data about how much you missed it, so he made a painting of it for you. he hadn’t shown it to you yet. Picard was the first to see it before you did.

 “It is beautiful. You grew up in a beautiful place, (Y/N)”

You smiled at the captain. “Why take you, sir.”

“Do you want to see it?”

You hesitated for a moment but nodded yes.

Picard took the painting and walked over to you.

The captain didn’t lie. It was beautiful. The sun that was shining in the painting. The beautiful fountain in the middle of the park. As you looked closely you could see Data’s signature on the bottom right of the painting. The little curve he made in the ‘D’ made you smile.

 The captain could do nothing but admire the painting with you.

 “Have I ever told you of that one time when Data believed he was Vincent Van Gogh?”

You shook your head.

Picard enthusiastically started sharing his story with you.

That entire night you and Picard shared your own Data stories with each other. Remembering the man, they cared for the most.