#he was the one pressuring me into sex though so 🤷‍♀️

[fillejondrette]

(the point of the video is that it is, in fact, that weird)

i guess i am old and decrepit now bc i don’t see what’s wrong with this. 15 yos and 17 yos are in the same classes, sports teams, friend groups, etc. the morality of younger gen z people is fascinating

[rainytrashh]

Hi! I hope you're okay 🫂💚 Do you have any spicy Marc headcanons/thoughts? (No pressure 💚)

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Marc NSFW Headcannons

Fic type-> Headcannons

Warnings-> Brief mention of violence, breeding kink, pegging (what can I say 🤷‍♀️)

Word count-> 795, 2-3 pages of a book

Sorry it took me so long to reply I’m on holiday rn and I haven’t been checking my phone much recently, I’ve only just seen this today 😔

But omg yes ofc I do <3

This is fem-aligned btw, just ask if you want a masc-aligned version

~Masterlist~

Please check out my other works either on here or on my AO3, the link is at the end <3

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LOVES it when you call him baby/sweetheart/etc, during sex. He’ll call you baby too dw, just generally loves the exchange of pet names between you two

Can’t decide between thighs or ass so he’ll just grope both 🤷‍♀️

Switch- tells anyone who asks he’s a dom but prefers to sub

Likes it fairly rough but if he’s topping he’ll go gentler on you because he loves you too much to hurt you

It doesn’t mean he doesn’t enjoy it when he’s got you bent over the back of the couch though, watching his cum drip out of you and trail down your thighs

God your thighs

Has a bit of a breeding kink in that sense, not all the baby talk, (just the idea of having a baby terrifies him) but he’ll fill you up so good <3

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“Fuck baby, look at it leak out of you…”

“Marc…”

You feel some of his cum drip down your thigh, he’s quick to swipe it up with a finger and push it back inside of you.

“You can go one more time can’t you?”

“Baby-“

“I can’t resist it, and you have to admit that you like it too. Just imagine how full you’ll feel with two of my loads inside of you…”

You can’t help but groan at the thought as he massages your ass and lines himself up once more.

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Prefers praise over degradation (mommy issues 😭) but will let you call him a whore/call you one or something overtly sexual like that

Surprisingly open to pegging, you asked him after giving hints for a while (he knew what you were hinting about, he was just too embarrassed to say anything) and he refused to look you in eyes as he agreed

Tells you is favourite position is missionary, with either of you on top, but you found out he also really likes it when he’s face-down, ass-up for you

He likes it so much because of the vulnerability of the position, he just needs to let go and let someone else take care of him 😢

Also because you can trail kisses all down his back and he loves to feel your thighs against the back of his

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“God Marc you’re taking me so well.”

Your hips are pressed right against his as you grip his waist with just the right amount of firmness that he likes, keeping him in place.

“Just move, please?”

“Since you asked so nicely for it baby.”

You start to grind your hips against him as you lean down to place sweet kisses against his shoulder blades.

“Ah shit…” Barely a whisper that you manage to make out from him through breathy moans.

He tries to reach back with a hand to grab your thigh but only manages to hook his fingertips into the flesh of it.

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Although because of the latter, you suspect he has a thing for acting all tough and dom but then letting others pry his ‘hidden’ side out of him. Not quite like him being a brat but smth to that effect

‘Tall, dark and handsome ex-mercenary likes to take it up the ass from a woman’ yk? You think he gets off on that basically

And oh my God were you right on the money

You only found out cause you managed to disguise the question as meaningless banter cause if you brought it up directly you’d think he’d be too embarrassed to answer

You didn’t wanna scare him off with smth as abrupt as that 😔

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“Does tall, dark and handsome wanna get railed today?” You tease as you shift closer to him on the couch, leaning against him.

He hesitates to answer and averts his eyes from your intently staring ones.

“Don’t, don’t say railed. That sounds weird.”

He looks back at you only to be met with a shit-eating grin. He lets out a huff of air.

“Baby, what?”

You lean in closer and deciding to just go for it, you let your lips graze his jaw and say-

“Isn’t it what you like though? You like letting me fuck your brains out?” You plant a soft kiss against his neck as you wait patiently for an answer.

“Yea…”

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DO NOT HIT THIS POOR MAN 😭😭

Omg let me repeat this, he wants to be taken care of when you’re topping!!!

He just wants to let go and feel good he doesn’t need a needless throwback to last night when he was fighting some crime lord for Konshu 😢 (or last year, wtv the au calls for)

Yes, he likes it when he has to hold the headboard to keep his head from hitting it but don’t slap him round the face or anything 👎

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So that’s abt it for now, this has to be the speediest I’ve written anything 💪

Thanks for the request <3

My AO3

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Note for requester- Stop I had just finished writing this and I was like ‘who is this person?’ etc etc and omg as soon as I found out. Love your fanfics 🫶

[larcenywrites]

I love those headcanons about trying anal sex with young!Tony, and they got me wondering if you'd be comfortable with writing hcs about pegging young!Tony?! 😳 Like, maybe it's after those hcs, and his girlfriend brings it up and asks what he thinks. And he's like nervous but also quite curious to try it... and the whole warm up is similar to what he did for her and she gets him ready by stimulating his perineum a lot, then actually getting him used to the feeling with her fingers and with buttplugs until he can finally take a strap on. And he turns into the perfect little sub for her and he gets all the praise he wants and deserves plus aftercare. Totally okay if you don't feel comfortable/don't want to write this!! Thank you for your time and attention anyways!

GIRRRL (gender neutral) YOU’RE DRIVING ME CRAZY 🥵🫠 Ngl I’ve thought about this even before those hcs 🤤 I’m glad you liked the anal sex hcs bc I sure did 😫 but I’m not sure if these are quite as good since I’ve never written this :(

Warnings: 18+ obviously | pegging | afab reader implied but only explicitly referenced a time or two if you wanna read it as normal m/m fucking 🤷‍♀️ though I do use the word dildo or strap-on a few times as well | some Dom reader/sub Tony |

Pegging | Headcanons

💠Honestly, I'm sure he's already thought about it, having seen all of your new toys and all, but he probably won't bring it up himself. There probably haven't been many cases where he's let you top, anyway (which is a whole different story), and he might be apprehensive about bringing it up. Sure, you experiment and all, but this is kinda a whole new level for a number of reasons. He's still all good with the usual stuff! Don't ruin a good thing, right? What if you're pretty turned off by it or something :(

💠 It's really the complete opposite! But he doesn't know that. Honestly, asking him about anal earlier probably gave you a bout of courage! He's probably the one that's usually bringing up new ideas, and since yours went so well, why not just ask about this? Even if he's not into it, he obviously won't be upset or anything.

💠So! …catch him off guard, just like before. Maybe he's half asleep, or still waking up from a nap, and innocently slide on top of him. He probably won't look down at you until your too-innocent "Hey, Tony?" Then his attention is most piqued. "If I asked really nicely, would you say yes to something?"

"Depends on what it is."

"Would you ever let me peg you?"

💠He looks away because he's embarrassed that his answer is gonna be an immediate yes, and he's trying to think of a cooler answer 🤧 "I'd let you try." He almost says it like he's challenging you, but it's all you need.

💠 You're not quite sure where to start with him, but you do go ahead and get a little red butt plug for him 😘 and maybe a vibrating one, too 😏

💠But you can really only go by how he treated you tbh, so maybe start slower. Get down on your knees, take his cock in your mouth and jerk off what you can't take down your throat, and use your other hand to play with his balls. Just like normal. Inch a little closer to that little area behind his balls and gently rub circles. He'll definitely jump in surprise… which will just send his cock further down your throat, but now you have another free hand to keep massaging his sac 🤤

💠 "Fuck." is probably the only strangled word you'll hear, if any, between throaty grunts. His hands will be tightly gripped in your hair to hold you close while his thrusts are more like oversensitive twitches of his hips. He'll have so much going on at one time, he might even get to experience that tremble in his legs that he's usually causing you 🤭 The more he's twitching in your throat, the more pressure you should apply 😋 You'll have him cumming in seconds, and a lot. You can keep going if you want, especially when he can't decide whether to twitch away from your tongue or away from your fingers, and just ends up making his situation worse (or better 😏). 

💠Honestly you can keep the experimenting around here for a few days if you want, maybe start massaging your fingers from his perineum to his ass and back and forth. If you want to get him really riled up, take a vibrator to it, but be prepared: he'll cum within seconds, and hard. The mess he makes will have you eager to see how much more of a mess he could make, and the longer you build him up, the more eager he is for the real thing 🤤

💠 He'll let you know when he wants one of his new toys, getting it out before you can even get his dick in your mouth this time. Honestly, do what you've been doing, except this time, instead of just fingers snaking around while you suck him off, massage the silky silicone plug around his tight hole, and maybe choke on his cock when those hips instinctively still twitch away. You might want to be back against the bed this time to give him something to hold on to while you ease it in, and he'll definitely be pushing you against the mattress while he can't decide whether to squeeze his thighs together or spread his legs 😮‍💨

💠Let him get used to it and watch him squirm (and feel him squirm), push at his already twitching abs to gain more room to work with and repeat your original process of massaging all around his balls while your tongue massages his dick 😌 He'll fuck you with it still inside, and he'll already be falling apart on top of you because when he thrusts a certain way and just hard enough, there's a certain poking pressure that has his dick pulsing but not enough to cum. It's more like chasing after a powerful orgasm he knows is there and fucks the hell out of you to try and find it, and the semi-edging is both frustrating and hot af too 😫

💠Hardly a day or three passes, though, and he wants the vibrating one ASAP

💠 He'll be a moaning mess melting into your neck in seconds, and thrusting feebly while it practically milks him, but only when he's pressed into you so hard, but the constant friction keeps him hard and hips jolting 🥴

💠 There's going to be a lot of cum 🥵 cum flooding out of you, too much to keep in your mouth, a mess on the floor— if he's a whining mess that can't stop cumming now…

💠He may size up once or twice, but the strap-on isn't that big to begin with, and Tony's probably been eyeing it 👀

💠Honestly it's going to be kinda funny at first trying to put it on and trying to make him get on his hands and knees 🤧🤧 but sex is supposed to be a little funny sometimes 😌 He's never been in that position and is going to be very stiff and awkward 👉👈 but he also doesn't necessarily want to look at you bc he's awkward and shy about it so…

💠So that means don't smack his ass no matter how tempting it is 😫

💠Also this mf works overtime on his appearance all the time so he's probably been pretty clean shaven 💅👀

💠His face is already buried in the sheets, probably from being shy, but he's low-key a little nervous too and probably already biting at the pillow just from you trying to push in 😮‍💨 tbh it'll help relax him if you suck him off first or even just have normal sex first! Either way, he'll be leaking precum 🫠 Don't be afraid to swipe at his tip and smear some of that warm arousal around 😉 he'll probably grip the pillow and hide away even more, but it's just bc it made him hornier 😌

💠Definitely go slow. Sure, he's had a little practice by now, but Tony's never been penetrated like this 😳 His thighs are already shaking just from the tip sliding in, but a muffled "fuck, keep going" will beg you to keep going anyway when you stop to get him a minute. Slide in until you can't anymore and watch him squirm against you for a minute 🥴 he'll definitely jolt when you run your hands over his hips or up his back, not very used to the roles being switched and all, but he'll quickly relax into your touch and arc his back a little.

💠Maybe jerk him off while you wait 😏 watch his thighs squeeze together while you do and listen to deep groans. He'll probably end up starting to fuck himself on the dildo while instinctively trying to grind against you, groaning a little louder 🥴 he's definitely letting you know you should start moving 😘

💠But keep starting slow, don't pull out too much too fast. Keep thrusting shallow and slow. Eventually you'll hear a whine that you've never heard before 😳 and it'll definitely make you want to step up your game 😈 start pulling out a little further each time and bottom out each time

💠 It's probably going to feel pretty unnatural, and it'll be a learning curve at first because you'll learn real quick that you need some stamina to thrust like that 😮‍💨 honestly it makes Tony just a little more impressive!

💠 He'll probably be hugging the pillow, but the quicker you can go, the more you'll get to hear those little whimpers

💠 He'll cum without warning! You'll only know by the sudden moan and the stiff thrusting of his hips that has him pushing and grinding against you and making him cum more 🥴 For the first time during the whole experience, he'll be tapping out with a hand on your thigh or whatever part of you he can reach. Maybe be evil and tease him just a little bit, press into him a little harder until he's shuddering before actually pulling out

💠The sheets will definitely need to be replaced no matter how much he just wants to curl up. Now he knows how you feel...

💠But once you do, he'll be curled under the blanket and probably still hiding in the pillow 🥺 He'll nod when you ask him if he's okay, he's just embarrassed and a little subby 🤭 join him on his pillow and hug him into you. Your little kisses might make him a little more shy, but he's enjoying it 😉

💠Once you both get more familiar, and maybe you get a little more stamina for it, just pound into him 🥵 slap your hips again his ass and use him as leverage when you slide your hands up his arched back. His very loud moans will turn into punched-out whines the closer he gets, and the more he'll hug his pillow 😌

💠Tug his head back by his hair and make him yelp! He'll probably cum instantly the first time you do, but keep fucking into him this time. Treat him how he treats you 😘 which is really the only thing you have to go off of tbh

💠 "You can take it, baby." Encourage him and he'll melt. With a drawn-out whimperish groan and clenching thighs. Jerk him off if you're feeling a bit evil 😈 Milk him for everything he has 😈

💠 It'll become another Dom/sub dynamic, but be a little more on the gentle side (usually). Or at least, gentle when he's starting to sob and tire out 😌

💠Eventually he'll be laid on his stomach one way or another. When he's really close or nearly sobbing, slow down and lay on his back. Hook your arms under his and rub at his and kiss his neck, or play with his hair.

💠 "Does that feel good, pretty boy?" Whisper in his ear and practically feel him shiver under you. He'll nod into the pillow and grind his cock against the mattress 🫠 and the harder you thrust, the more you'll help him out with that 😉

💠Tell him how good he takes it. Suck slow hickeys into his neck, and kiss it when he moans. He might even cry the first time, but unfortunately, you might not get to see it 😔

💠When he does cum in this position, shush him while pressing into him even harder. A quiet "there you go, pretty boy" or "that's a good boy" might melt his brain every time. And make him cum just a bit harder before he's finished 😏

💠Play with his hair and kiss whatever you can reach, and he'll be limp beneath you for as long as you want, even while you still have the strap-on still buried inside him (and low key he may be wishing he was being filled with cum 🥲)

💠Ruffle his hair and give him one more kiss before getting off him and sliding out (or be evil and just start pounding into him again— he won't really complain 😌). There will be cleanup every time unless you wise up and decide to put a towel down, which would definitely benefit Tony because he does not want to get up and will protest until he's had a certain number of kisses and pleases >:(

💠Eventually he'll get confident enough to lay on his back, and let you finally get to see him and his cock again. Keep your hands on his twitching abs and watch him moan towards the ceiling, no longer muffled into the sheets! Dig your nails into his skin to draw his attention towards you again to better see his blushing cheeks and pleading doe eyes 🥺

💠Lean over him and let his cock rub against your stomach, and trail warm precum along your skin. If you want you can jerk him off, but it may be much more fun to ask him to do it, and he'll obey in an instant. Maybe sit still and pressed inside him until he's done a good job, even if he's begging you to move again 😌

💠Time it right and thrust with his own movements, and he'll probably cum more than you've ever seen 😮‍💨 it'll definitely end up all over his chest and stomach, and if you've found that right little angle to fuck him at by now, you can even simply press the dildo's tip into it and get him to cum again right after he just finished 🥴

💠Press into him and lick a little off his chest before you slip out, and then lick off the rest when you can move around more. Climb on top of him once you've cleaned him up and just nuzzle into him with kisses and run fingers through his hair. He'll eat up the affection, and might even get hard again at any praise 😏

💠If you wanna get a little rough, scratch down his back like you normally do and mock him a little when his back arches towards the bed. "Who knew Tony Stark was such a tight little twink~" Keep your tone playful and sultry, and you'll have him whimpering a pout before moaning out when you start to speed up, but still make sure to call him your good boy 😘

💠Sometimes you may have to wipe away a tear or two (or kiss them away), and always pull him into your chest and let him hide in your neck. He still might be a bit shy about it sometimes, so you may be spooning him from behind instead.

💠Give him several minutes and he may return the favor 😏 the harder you can fuck him, the harder he'll fuck you soooo 😉

💠Sometimes he'll let you tie him up, and might even beg you to jerk him off while he is. You can choose whether or not to obey, or just tortuously rub right under the head of his dick because he doesn't control the narrative anymore 😌 You might even pull an "I'm sorry, Mommy" out of him because he's so desperate…

💠Tbh wear thigh highs while you fuck him and you'll have no trouble keeping his eyes on you, but he'll be a little upset if you make him get on his knees instead 😔 And sorry to upset you, but even you probably won't be able to force him into any thigh highs 😭 maybe one day?

💠He's a size queen 💅 You'll have to buy a new strap-on pretty soon, and he'll pick out a much bigger size-up than you had in mind 👀 maybe this one could have a cum tube- for research purposes, of course 😌

[danpuff-ao3]

Rarepair Tag Game

Thanks for the tag @cindle-writes!

Tagging: @writcraft, @perverse-idyll, @lizzy0305, @tackytigerfic, @sitp-recs, @consistentsquash, @mxlfoydraco, @wolfpants, @crazybutgood, @siriusly-sapphic, @stonedregulus, @broomsticks, @phoebe-delia, @nv-md, @ashesandhackles, @teacup-tai, @billsfangearring, @snapesnailtape, @fangqueen, @charlotterhea, and uhhh...anyone else who wants to play? And no pressure to the zillion people I tagged. It's just for funsies and I'm curious about what folks like! 😄

Rules: List the top rarepairs that you like outside of your OTP, and why you ship it! (Criteria for what makes a rarepair is up to your own discretion.)

My OTP is Snarry and I'm pretty sure most ships I like outside of Snarry are rarepairs haha! Let's seeeee...🤔

Harry/Scorpius

As I like to say: Snarry is my husband, and Scarry is the hot poolboy. I am a devoted wife, I swear, but sometimes...Well, sometimes a gal fantasizes about the poolboy, what can I say? 🤷‍♀️ I often struggle shipping Harry or Severus with other people, but Scarry feels less like a struggle and more like temptation. And while I find Young Severus ships easier to read (as I can imagine all roads lead to Snarry), I suppose Scarry can be enjoyed in the terrible universe in which Harry's actual soulmate was gone. (Not me vehemently defending myself for my guilty pleasure ship, noooo 😂)

Anyway, all that to say, I often wondered why I shipped Scarry myself. Why it's so much easier for me to enjoy than other Harry ships. Sure, it has the age gap thing going for it. And "son's best friend" going for it. And "son of my childhood rival" thing. Okay so yeah maybe it does make sense. 😂 What it lacks (in my imaginings) is all the fire I generally am drawn to, but ah well. It has enough else going in its favor. And really, what I'm only just now recognizing is that this sort of came together for me the same way Snarry did: my great love of the characters separately. I read the Cursed Child and fell in love with sweet cinnamon roll Scorpius. Which turned into...me being into Scarry!

Of course in my brain it happens one of two very specific ways 😂 Either Severus is...not there. For reasons. And Harry moves on with Scorpius one day. OR it's a one sided crush on Scorpius' end, which I am also hecka into. Who doesn't like a bit of unrequited love?? (At least, when their OTP isn't suffering for it.)

Draco/Sirius

I'M OBSESSED. WHY IS THERE NOT MORE OF THIS SHIP OUT THERE???? I CRY. Ahem. Anyway.

It's the age gap. It's the cousin incest. It's the "hooking up with my rival's godfather." It's the Gryffindor vs Slytherin of it. It's the Order and Death Eater of it. Also...they're both really pretty. 🤷‍♀️ Those good good Black genes, you know?

Also I just feel like...it can work. One of those things that might start off as sex and becomes really serious even though they both refuse to admit it for the longest time?

Sirius likes a challenge, I think, and Draco can provide one. And there's much more depth to Draco than I think Sirius might initially give him credit for. I see him as being a bit vain and a bit proud, but also insecure and vulnerable. He's sassy and bratty, and spoiled, but also with a lot of hurt and a lot of problems he himself might not be fully aware of. It's the complications and contradictions the Black family knows so well, and Sirius can understand Draco at that level better than most people, but also isn't so tied to family tradition that he can help pull Draco away from it. Sirius can shake up Draco's world a bit. Show him fun, silly things like bars and motorcycles and crappy Muggle flats. But also introduce him to freedom, and letting loose, and finding himself outside of that "Malfoy heir" identity, the way Sirius ran away from his "Black heir" identity.

I don't think Draco will pull away as much as Sirius did, and Sirius will understand enough to meet Draco where he is. And he knows the world Draco comes from enough to integrate into it when he needs to. And I think they'll find a lot of understanding and acceptance together, and learn a lot together, and explore a lot together, and be really chaotic and intense and messy together, and find so much joy and contentment together.

I have many Drarius feelings and I really need to write more of them one day.

Snape/Filch

Delphi sure SOLD me on this one, geez Louise. This is one of those I don't think is forever, but is meaningful and impactful to both parties. (It's gotta end Snarry, y'know? 👀) Love the age gap. And I love it best when it's student/caretaker. Maybe New Professor/caretaker, even. I love the idea of these two outcasts coming together and finding comfort together, and being able to appreciate each other in ways other people don't.

They both have their bitterness, and their sense of cruelty. They're both overlooked and unappreciated. Filch as the Squib looking after a magical castle full of magical people. The butt of many jokes. And Severus, the half-blood, the poor kid, the ugly kid. From a rough background, and surrounded by peers of much better circumstance. Targeted by the Marauders (who cause Filch enough trouble, too.)

It's fascinating to me, to see Filch, who doesn't seem to like much of anyone, being drawn to Snape. Sort of feeling a kindred spirit in some ways. A sense of camaraderie in the way Snape is seen, and treated, by others. Severus' broodiness and bitterness. But mostly sparked by some stunt pulled by the Marauders.

And Filch being the one to see how amazing Severus is. How intelligent and skilled, but looked over in favor of more handsome and charming and well-connected students. And I can see him being a bit torn between smug pride over how similar they are, and sharing that feeling of "yeah people don't see what I'm capable of, either" and then part of him growing to really care for Severus and wanting better for him and wanting others to actually see Severus the way Filch does. And Severus appreciating that, and feeling seen and safe with someone, at least to the extent that he can feel those things. (Wary as he is.) And really enjoying the affection he gets, and pleasure from their physical relationship. And maybe learning at least some small sense of self-worth and confidence in his own physicality.

One day I'm going to write the Snilch-turned-Snarry of my dreams and it's gonna be great, and in the meantime, a gal can dream.

Ginny/Gwenog

LISTEN. 2 lady athletes being hot together? Why not?? Of course with Gwenog being barely more than a mention, a lot of this is built on headcanon for her, but like...

Quidditch hero Gwenog. I like to headcanon her as a Slytherin (primarily due to a Snegurochka fic.) She's a Slug Club alum. She's a famous athlete. So I like to imagine her as a bit arrogant, and sure of herself. And maybe there initially being a "don't meet your heroes" moment between Gwenog and Ginny wherein Ginny very quickly loses her admiration of Gwenog because they meet at the wrong time (imagine they meet at some Slughorn event, haha.) But as Ginny loses interest in Gwenog, Gwenog's interest in Ginny is sparked.

Then one day they meet on the pitch, either as teammates or rivals. Either could be fun! And sort of coming together over their love of the sport and Ginny realizing there's more to Gwenog than first impression led her to believe. Also: there's at least some sorta age gap there, which you KNOW I love!

Also I love the idea of tabloids painting Ginny some type of way when she moves from a high profile relationship with Harry Potter: hero to a high profile relationship with Gwenog Jones: celebrity athlete. And maybe unfairly getting a reputation as a fame whore. And Ginny being super bitter about it because they don't understand!!!!

Anyway basically there's a lot of fun to be had.

Also I have weirdly specific feelings about tall Ginny. Just this tall pretty redhead athlete with short!Harry, and then moving onto her shorter butch girlfriend Gwen. Idk but really tall and more femme Ginny just does it for me. Like...she's like "I have long hair and I can pull off pretty dresses, but also I have the Bat Bogey Hex mastered, and I'll kick your ass on the pitch" and I respect that.

Hermione/Lavender

My newest obsession weirdly??? Even though I've read hardly any fics for it and there's no age gap to be seen. 🤨 Love me some Hermione/Fleur you know (my favorite Hermione ship still), and Hermione/Minerva and Hermione/Narcissa, but lately Hermione/Lavender is doing it for me on an almost opposites attract level?

This gives me a big impression of two people with the wrong idea of each other and having to face their own biases once they start to connect on some level. And then both being Ron's exes is hilarious. Bonus points for that. And imagine them as a longterm couple and they laugh years later over it. "Remember how we both dated the same guy? And we were jealous of each other? And now we're madly in love? Haha, life is funny."

Like, yeah, Hermione can be a bit bossy and fussy, and opinionated and judgmental in her own way. A bit self-righteous. Lavender isn't a very academic sort of person, but she's not dumb, and she's very brave. I like the idea of Lavender finding respect and admiration for Hermione only once she moves past Hermione being "very smart." And even Hermione sees so much of her value tied to her intelligence, and Lavender finding value literally everywhere else. How loyal Hermione is, how passionate she is, her love of travel and culture, etc.

And Hermione having to look past Lavender's "silliness" and face just how judgmental she is, and having to come to grips with yeah Lavender likes to gossip, and dress up, and she's very romantic, and she's interested in Divination, but there's also more to her than that. And that there is still value in things Lavender enjoys even if Hermione doesn't care for them herself, or even "believe" in them. And Hermione finding value in Lavender beyond how pretty she is, or how playful (especially postwar when Lavender maybe deals with heavy scarring and trauma and maybe heavy blows to her self-esteem.) And maybe being seen and recognized for better qualities even she maybe didn't think of herself as having, such as being quite brave and quite strong.

I dunno I just really want to explore them and all of the potential gives me many feelings.

[andithiel]

Ten smut/dialogue scenes

I was tagged by the massively talented @thehoneybeet (check out some smutty goodness of them here), and at first I was excited and then I though "oh no, what do my smut say about me?" I was also convinced I haven't written that many smutty fics, but I had to actually pick between them, who knew?! Also had to trim what I picked out because it got close to 6k and no one has time for that while scrolling tumblr 🙈

Rules: pick any ten fics, select some smut or pre-smut dialogue, and tag ten people. If you have written less than ten, feel free to share anyway!

Tagging @tsundanire @drarryruinedme7 @getawayfox @rei382 @isamijoo @mystickitten42 @nv-md @thebooktopus @shealwaysreads @phdmama if you want to share your smutty dialogue (also no pressure to actually read this just because I tagged you, it’s 2,6k 👀) And if you’re reading this and want to share yours as well please do, and tag me so I can see!

I'm putting these under a cut because they're long and various states of explicit. I've tried to select different kind of dynamics and scenarios in these, but enthustiastic consent is one of my favourite things to write so most of them has that. I'll put content warnings/enticements next to the ones where I think it’s needed.

1. And the music plays bitter, plays sweet (CW: infidelity (not between Drarry)

Harry doesn’t know what to say. What are you supposed to say to your recently widowed lover who has just buried his wife?

”Do you want me to—?”

Draco stands up so abruptly that the glass falls to the floor and shatters, firewhiskey splashing everywhere, staining the expensive carpet; he crowds Harry against the mantelpiece.

”If you leave now, don’t bother coming back,” he growls.

Harry whimpers and then Draco’s lips are on his, insisting, demanding and Harry melts. Until he remembers.

”Fuck, Albus is here, we can’t— ”

”They’re sleeping, but if you’re worried…” Draco says and Apparates them to his bedroom.

”Is this—?”

”Don’t make this weirder than it has to be,” Draco snaps before he starts working on the buttons of Harry’s robes, making him dizzy with want.

”I’ve thought about you all day,” Harry says, fumbling with Draco’s tie. “It kills me that I couldn’t be there for you.”

Draco rips Harry’s robes off in one swift impatient movement.

“Shut up and fuck me.”

His voice is desperate, shaky and steely at the same time; It sounds more like a plea than a command, but Harry doesn’t even consider not obeying.

2. Constellation Prize 

“I—” Harry started. Draco looked up at him, eyes dark and wide, his flushed chest heaving. “It was worth waiting. For this. For you.”

Draco surged forward, kissing Harry messily, all teeth and tongue. “Do you have any idea the things you do to me?”

Harry chuckled, a little embarrassed. “I thought I said ten minutes ago how I wanted you inside me five minutes ago, what is your cock still doing on the outside?”

“I also remember someone wanting my fingers instead of a preparation charm,” Draco murmured against his ear while tracing Harry’s rim with his cock. “Some things are worth the wait Harry,” he said, slowly pushing in.

3. I’ll never be your chosen one (CW: hate sex) This is long, but 🤷‍♀️

Draco closes his eyes, suppressing a moan at the thought of Potter fucking himself with his fingers.

“What if I told you I’ve used all the skills you’ve taught me to fuck others?” Potter continues, grabbing the buttplug and yanking it out with a little more force than strictly necessary. “That I’ve convinced more than one witch that taking it up the arse isn’t so bad, after all, if you know what you’re doing.”

Draco inhales sharply. Surely Potter is just trying to rile him up? He’s not been in a relationship as of late, he usually won’t see Draco when he is, because apparently he’s “not the cheating kind”. This must just be a way to make Draco jealous. Well, the joke’s on Potter, because if Draco’s not in love, he can’t be jealous.

“I was planning on opening you slowly this time, Malfoy, using my tongue and my fingers until you were begging for me to fuck you, but I guess you’re just an impatient little slag, aren’t you?” Potter grabs his hips roughly, and then the spongy head of his cock is circling Draco’s waiting hole. “Aren’t you, Malfoy? Aren’t you just aching for me to fuck you?”

Draco forces down a shiver of arousal, refusing to dignify Potter’s statement with an answer. He scoffs. “Well, aren’t you clever, Potter? Does it make it easier for you to fuck them if you do it up the arse? Is it easier to block out that they’re witches?” He presses back against Potter’s groin, undulating his hips to rub against Potter’s cock, smirking as a suppressed moan escapes Potter’s lips. “If you close your eyes, maybe you can almost forget that they’re not what you want. As long as you don’t try to reach around them to pull them off you can pretend that they’re someone else?”

There’s a low growl, and then Potter pushes in all the way in one stroke, and Draco almost loses his balance, the sting of it is so exquisite.

Potter’s voice is low in his ear, his chest flush against Draco’s back. “And you think I imagine them being you, don’t you, Malfoy?” He scoffs. “You think I have to pretend that they’re you to be able to come?” He sets up an agonisingly slow rhythm, making Draco bite his lip to keep from fucking himself faster on Potter’s cock.

“And don’t you? Can you honestly say you’re able to keep it up without some sort of fantasy playing in your head? Do you need them to be quiet to keep the illusion that you’re fucking someone you’re actually attracted to?”

Potter grabs his hair forcefully, yanking it so that Draco’s neck bends backwards, the awkward angle just below painful.

“Shut the fuck up, Malfoy.”

“Oh, but you like it when I’m mouthing off, don’t you?” Draco says to the ceiling. “Am I the only one who doesn’t fawn over you, Potter, doesn’t agree with everything you say? Yes, Harry, I’ll take it up the arse if that’s what you want. Yes, Harry, I’ll keep quiet if that’s what you need. No, Harry, I don’t find it odd that I always have to stimulate myself’,” he sneers. “Admit it, you’re sick of it.”

There’s another growl as Potter drags himself out and slams back in, still with his hand tightly fisted in Draco’s hair.

“I said: Shut. The fuck. Up,” he hisses through clenched teeth before he starts pounding into Draco in a steady rhythm, faster now.

Draco chuckles, knowing it will drive Potter absolutely mad with rage. And a mad Potter is a rough Potter, and rough is what Draco wants right now, rough is what they have together, what Potter is willing to give him, what Potter wants from him. “Am I too close to the truth?”

“I thought I told you to shut up,” Potter pants into his ear. He’s so close now, Draco can feel his thrusts becoming erratic.

“Make me,” he breathes.

4. Play me like a love song

“Harry, please.” It comes out as a whine, but he can’t be arsed to care about that.

“What?” Draco can feel Harry smiling against his skin.

“Please.”

“What do you need, Draco? You know I want to give it to you if you just ask me,” Harry says, so low that it’s barely audible, but Draco’s entire focus is on Harry and his mouth, and where he wants it to go.

“Harry, it’s —” he says, bucking his hips up. “Fuck, it’s right there!” And as if on cue, his cock twitches, as if it’s offended that it’s being neglected this way.

“What is?” Harry says, still feigning obliviousness, and Draco has a strong urge to slap him. Maybe that’s why Harry wanted to tie him up.

But he’s not ready to admit defeat yet, he won’t say that he desperately wants Harry’s mouth on his cock. “I thought you said you wanted to make me a babbling mess by just using your tongue and lips.”

Harry chuckles, low and guttural in his throat, the fucking bastard. “Isn’t that what I’m doing?”

Draco groans in frustration, but it comes out breathy, more like a moan, a desperate sound.

“Please, Harry,” he says again, pleading, begging.

“I’m glad you’re asking so nicely, but you still need to tell me what to do.”

“Please, Harry, please just suck my cock.”

5. When Buds Break (CW: Hanahaki disease, not depicted in the snippet)

“I was surprised to learn that you had any interest in her, though,” Draco says, as if he’s completely unaffected by Harry’s mouth on him.

Harry grunts in frustration, because obviously Draco is not letting this go. “What’s the problem? It was one time, weeks ago. I was horny and you were away at some charity event or whatever. And she was there. It didn’t mean anything.”

“It didn’t mean anything, and you still felt the need to do it?” Draco’s voice is a weird mixture of scornful and saccharinely sweet.

“I still don’t see what the problem is. You and I are having casual sex. In fact, you were the one who definitely wanted to keep it casual. I just happened to have some other casual sex with another person.”

Draco doesn’t answer, but his jaw is working silently as he’s staring at Harry, and it looks like he’s reluctantly admitting defeat. Tentatively, Harry starts to nose around Draco’s groin, inhaling the scent of him and kissing the tender skin on the inside of his thighs.

“I have to say that discussing my sexual habits was not what I thought you had in mind when you brought me here. And it was definitely not what I had in mind when I came with you,” Harry says and then licks a long stripe from the base of Draco’s cock to the tip, smiling when it twitches violently in response. Even if Draco seems collected, his body is severely betraying him.

Soft hands come to tangle in Harry’s hair again, and with a sigh Draco says, “I just didn’t know we were having sex with other people.”

“I wasn’t aware that we were exclusively casual, but I’m fine with that if you want us to be. I mean, Daphne is alright, but there are some things she lacks, anatomically speaking,” Harry says, swirling his tongue around Draco’s cock again. He deliberately leaves out how having sex with Daphne couldn’t compare to having sex with Draco in a million years, that she didn’t leave him entirely breathless like Draco does. He doesn’t need to be more smug than he already is.

“Daphne’s a fucking slut.”

Harry snorts. “Takes one to know one.” He ducks from Draco’s hand trying to slap him, and grabs Draco’s thighs to heave himself up so that their faces are level. “Now, do you want me to keep casually sucking you off, or would you be so kind as to casually put that gorgeous dick up my arse?”

6. Find your own heaven (CW: second person POV, written from the pov of Draco being very sexually repressed)

“Have you done this before?” you ask, because surely he must have some experience? This cannot feel this good if it’s his first time.

“I keep telling you, Draco, no, I haven’t. Not with another person.”

“With yourself then. You’ve done this to yourself?”

He kisses along the length of your spine as he slowly works you open with his fingers.

“I have. I have been pleasuring myself, imagining that you were with me, that it was your fingers inside me.”

His words make you moan, the internal image of him so arousing as instinct takes you over and you rock back to meet him.

He shifts behind you, grabbing the bottle of oil and pouring more of it into his hand.

“Can I?” he asks, low and husky.

You nod fervently, and then you gasp as the tip of him grazes your entrance.

7. Testing the waters (Jeddy)

James’ breath hitched, but he didn’t answer this time, his eyes closed in ecstasy as Teddy pounded into him as hard as he could.

“I’m going to make you scream so loudly, Jamie. The only name you’ll remember will be mine,” Teddy said, panting, grinding down while pistoning his hips, licking the side of James’ neck as he went. James’ head was tilted back against the black and white trunk, his bottom lip between his teeth, and he was so beautiful it stole Teddy’s breath away. Once again he was overcome with the desire to kiss James, to feel the warmth of his mouth against his, sharing the same air.

“Can I kiss you, Jamie?” he groaned, burying himself into the glorious wet heat that was the core of James. “I really— I really want to kiss you.”

James whimpered, squeezing his eyes further shut. “Only if you mean it,” he said, his voice breathy and broken. “Only if you want me.”

8. Take a trip into my garden

“Draco,” he whispers. “Draco, don’t make me wait any longer.”

Draco lifts his head to look at him, his lips swollen and shiny, eyes blown so wide with lust they’re almost black. He scoots up and lets his mouth glide along Harry’s lower lip, fingers grazing over his rapidly beating pulse.

“What, Harry? What do you want?”

His voice is low and cooing, and Harry relaxes, realising he’s been tensing up. He licks his lips. “Fuck me,” he whispers, sliding a hand into Draco’s silky hair to keep him close.

Draco exhales shakily, his bottom lip disappearing between his teeth. “You’re still sure then?”

Harry nods, and Draco mirrors his motion, eagerly but cautious.

“I’ll make you feel so good, Harry, you have no idea.”

“I know you will,” Harry says, licking his lips. “And also, I— I want to see you. I want to look at you while you fuck me.”

“Oh fuck,” Draco groans, and his cock gives a little twitch against Harry’s hip, noticable through the thin fabric of his designer pants. “Fuck, Harry, do you have any idea what you do to me?”

9. Sweet desire (Scorbus. CW: first person POV)

Scorpius sets himself with one leg on either side of my knees, crouching over me to look at my cock. I’m so hard, and my foreskin has already drawn back halfway to reveal the glans. Scorpius looks up at me, his hair falling over his now dark eyes, and he raises his eyebrows in a silent question. I nod, and he hooks his fingers inside the elastic of my underwear to pull them down all the way.

“Yours, too.”

It looks like he’s coming out of a trance when he glances up at me at my words.

“Take off yours, too,” I say, and Scorpius looks down at himself, as if he hadn’t noticed that he’s still wearing his pants.

“Oh! Right, yeah, I’ll—” he says, wriggling out of them and then resuming his studying of my aching erection with interest, not doing anything else.

I summon all my patience not to let my head fall back in frustration, and try to keep my voice calm. “Scorpius, love,” I say, “I don’t want to rush you or anything, but… are you just going to look at my cock until I come?”

“It’s just… It’s so pretty, Albus. I haven’t seen it this close before.”

“Um, thanks?” It twitches again at his words, which makes Scorpius chuckle, the sensation of his warm breath gusting over my sensitive skin almost too much. “Oh, fuck.”

Scorpius chuckles again, and then, finally, he leans forward to press his plump lips to my cock. I watch in awe at the action; it’s the best sensation I’ve ever had and my mouth falls open on a loud moan. Scorpius looks up at me, eyes bright and a smile playing on his lips.

“Good?”

“Oh, fuck, yes! So good.”

“I’ll do that again, then.”

10. Into you (CW: body swap)

“Do it again,” Malfoy whispered, his voice breathy.

“What?” Harry whispered back, and Malfoy showed him by slipping his hand underneath Harry’s waistband, cupping his arse and pressing Harry towards him. “Oh, fuck!”

“Bad?” Malfoy asked.

“No. Fuck. Good. So good,” Harry panted, and he realised that if they kept going like this, he would surely come, and he wasn’t sure how he felt about that, or at least not how he would feel afterwards, because right now he felt fucking fantastic. His hips were moving of their own accord, desperately rutting against Malfoy, and they weren’t even kissing anymore but keeping their open mouths close to each other.

“Can I?” said Malfoy, and Harry didn’t even know what he was asking, but he knew that whatever it was, he’d like it, so he just nodded vigorously. And then Malfoy put his hand inside Harry's boxers, grabbing Harry’s cock that was straining against the fabric, pulling carefully at it so that it turned upwards, and Harry’s moan was almost a scream. Malfoy’s grip around him was firm but soft and he started working Harry off in sure, slow slides.

[last-starry-sky]

Not sure if I’m the anon but here I am!! ❤️ Your Sims post made me chuckle - whenever I play it I just want to cause chaos and sleep with everyone 😂

Tmi: my rabbit died and I’ve never charged it again out of sheer laziness so now I just use it as a non-vibrating dildo

I'm not sure either! 😅 It could have been multiple people, but it was really nice to come home to a message. I love talking to people, if you can't tell!

((sims discussion and tmi belowww))

Sims is my og game, the love of my life. Me and her go waaay back. I started playing The Sims 1 RIGHT before The Sims 2 came out (almost 20 years ago???💀omg) and then I never rally moved on from it. I played a bit of The Sims 3 but never really got into it. It looks really fun though! Have not touched The Sims 4, though. My sister really likes it, so I guess it's just personal preference. I have a really long running neighborhood that I'm staring to get more chaotic with. ACR is doing most of the work for me lmao. I have too many babies being born, the population is exploding, send help.

I've always wanted a rabbit!!! I really need to treat myself and invest in some good sex toys bc trusting my boyfriend to pick stuff out has not been working out 😭. Thankfully, he did recharge the vibe in time so don't worry, we all got to cum that day. I just don't really like the one I have bc it's just, idk, too much?? like it's WORK to use it. It doesn't help that my bf, bless his heart, will be hovering over me the whole time like "when u gonna cum" 👁️👁️so it's just a lot of pressure/performance anxiety. Also, just having a regular ass dildo is actually nice. Some days I don't feel like having anything more than that 🤷‍♀️

[cantquitu]

I don't feel overly strongly about it and I don't think he should have to think about his audience when writing songs, but also given he has a lot of teenage fans it just feels like another man making them think they have to allow shit like that and find it hot. A lot of young women are already pressured, especially by male partners to act out porn and basically be a blow up doll regardless of what they like. Idc what Harry personally does, he's an adult who dates adults, but his fans aren't.

I don't read any fanfic and am allergic to those head canon ask blogs, but some of the signs at Harry's American shows like "punch me in the face" or whatever were enough to disturb me.

And yes, like you, I don't think Harry should think about his audience when writing songs, but he should - and does - think about them when he's releasing the songs (he has said that's the consideration stage).

Regardless of the age of his audience, he's listing a violent act - choking a woman - as nonchalantly as he mentions hash browns and egg yolks. Without context, it IS a violent act. And he will not give context, he never does.

My issue with it is not what he does or doesn't do in his own life (is the lyric referring to porn or a movie? Is he into choking during sex? Personally I'd rather not know if he is, but whatevs). My issue is that he's dropping that lyric in there without context as if he's Patrick fuckin' Bateman.

And of course the lyric is validated for him at concerts - I yelled along too, along with every other line. And now he's acting out on stage, miming choking, knowing that his audience sings that line louder than others, with thousands and thousands of teenage girls being like "Omg that's so hot, Harry Styles gets off on choking women" and I just... feel so depressed :(

That lyric contributes to a culture in which boys and girls are being taught by porn and pop culture to believe that girls and women are turned on by being harmed by boys and men, and boys and men are turned on by abusing women. And Harry's audience is, or was up until recently, predominantly young women. It's the one lyric I would LOVE to see him really grilled on. Ain't gonna happen though 🤷‍♀️

[mondscheinprinzessin]

oh oh! back to the virgin Aleksi OT6 talk what if Aleksi wants to do it but the others are all like no no don't feel pressured take your time and they just won't see that Aleksi IS ready and wants them to do something but he gets ignored and decides on harsher methods dresses up hotly and now they just can't resist (because their innocent baby angel is in reality a damn hot devil)

oh, uhm 😳 but well, how could they say no if he just showed up to the living room in a garter belt, maybe under a long shirt.

also I just wrote a whole thing and then tumblr suddenly reloaded the page and it was gone, and maybe that was a sign to not send it or at least send it on anon but. whatever.

and you'll have to forgive me for this, I don't know where it came from either but:

or what if Aleksi has had it with them and decides to go full-on little shit and tells them "I've been asking you guys to have sex with me or show me how to give a blowjob or anything for weeks now but I guess I'll need more drastic measures with you idiots" and leaves, and the others think they've upset or hurt him by being overprotective, but when they get to the bedroom to talk to him, he's already waiting for them in his underwear with lube and a dildo, makes himself comfortable across one or two of their laps, and just starts going at it himself until they finally get the hint that he really, really wants this 🤷‍♀️

of course, he'd still have to get himself off here because the others would probably all be so busy staring at him and blushing about their innocent boyfriend actually being quite horny and not afraid to let them see it (because he loves and trusts them so much 🥰💖 like I'm not saying it wouldn't eventually still be soft and slow and gentle and caring, but they'd also be like "😳😳 damn aleksi just record us a sextape next time why don't you")

(... "looks like you liked us watching you then, did you have fun?" - "would have been more fun if you'd done more than watch") ("next time, okay?" - "next time? I just fucked myself on your laps and you want to wait for next time? give me a few minutes to recover and a snack bar and then you can show me next time")

*scampering back to hide in a cave*

*Inhales and exhales deeply three times* JESS!

That would definitely be a statement. You guys don't wanna do it? How about now when I'm dressed sexy and sending clear signals of what I want?

No but imagine they're all gathered in the living room, watching something and they're already wondering where Aleksi is and then he suddenly stands in front of them like that, looking at them sweetly and pouting like he's not giving them a heartattack from his appearance.

Like someone would inhale their popcorn and needs a mouth to mouth while Joel probably loses his voice for once. And then they're all too shocked to do something so Aleksi leaves again.

Well, I don't know if I will ever forgive you this, but I feel like this is partly my fault so I can't ban you from my askbox.

I don't know what to add to this. You've got the idea and plot, why don't you just write it. Though I snorted at the "next time?!", imagining Aleksi grabbing them by the collar to pull them on him and nobody is allowed to leave.😂

[speedbump-mannequin]

Putting this over here bc I know you guys aren't squicked...

Was tagged by @exquisiteagony and @dysphorie !! Ty!!!

20 writer questions

1: how many works do you have on ao3?

58 on my pseud 😎

2: what my total ao3 wordcount?

210,789. About half of them are phallic euphemisms.

3: how many fandoms have you written for and what are they?

Mostly Manson with a little Slipknugget and MIW, and a lot of crossovers.

4: what are my top five fics by kudos?

Choose, Pick, Sold, Protection, Chosen

5: do i respond to comments, why or why not?

Yes!!! Bc I appreciate every one. Also bc it bothers me to have an odd number of comments. 😂 But mostly bc they're amazing and I want to say thank you.

6: what’s the fic i’ve written with the angstiest ending?

Maybe Nexus? Or A Passing Glance. Or Earned. The ones where ppl die. 😂

7: what’s the fic i’ve written with the happiest ending?

Hmmmm I think the ending to Cancelled is really uplifting, bc you know they're winning. Or maybe Words, bc there's so much relief.

8: do i write crossovers? if so, what’s the craziest thing i’ve written?

Yes!!!! I love playing mix-and-match!!! Magic School Bus might be the weirdest one. Though I got more shame for the Jurassic Park one...

9: have i ever received hate on a fic?

Yeppers. Outside of my regular readers, who I love immensely, I mostly get a poor reception. 😂

10: do i write smut? if so, what kind?

I've never, in my entire life, written anything that isn't smut. I like both slash and mf. I prob write more slash, just bc I find the dynamics fun and gay sex is good.

11: have i ever had a fic stolen?

Not as far as I know.

12: have i ever had a fic translated?

No. That would blow my mind.

13: have i ever co-write a fic?

Not really? I've worked with the amazing @90sdiablo, but idk if that's exactly co-writing. I don't do well on collabs, tbh. I put a lot of pressure on myself. I do like discussing ideas tho 😊

14: what’s my all time favourite ship?

Love Jimson (Jim Root/Marilyn Manson) and my OT3 is those 2 plus Peter Steele. Plus Jim is a werewolf and Peter is a vampire. 😌 Really, though, I don't get too attached to most ships. They're fun to play with. I don't take them too srsly.

15: what’s a wip i want to finish but don’t think i ever will?

I have this really old purgatory torture porn that I want to finish so much (he makes her eat her own toe and I re-read it occasionally just for that). Also a blood magic piece. But alas.

16: what’s my writing strengths?

My uncanny ability to turn literally anything into a horror movie or porno, esp if it involves 2+ unrelated things, and esp esp if one of those things is Manson. It's like lead to gold. Magic.

17: what’s my writing weakness?

Just getting started, doing the middle part, and ending it. Also, confidence.

18: what’s my thought on writing dialogue in other languages in fic?

I think it's hard to do well. It's a matter of using correct translations so you don't lose your multilingual readers, and still getting the meaning across for your monolingual readers. I think it works well in films, where you still have body language, tone, and context, but can be awkward when written. Respect to everyone who does it well.

19: what was the first fandom i wrote for?

Crossover between Labyrinth and an amateur de Sade homage I really liked as a kid. Of course, this was before I knew what fandom or fanfic was. I was just writing stuff. 🤷‍♀️

20: what’s my favourite fic i’ve written:

The one I posted most recently. I fall in love while I'm writing. Later, that fic becomes cringy and bad and I need another love.

I think my faves have been tagged? I might be wrong. My thinkmeat is soft. If you see this, I tag you!!!! 💚

[hauntingsoffuturespast]

A Happy(?) Story?

Hello Internet (Tumblr),

I just wanted to get on here to tell you something that is admittedly personal, but I think is important to share. It’s not witchcraft related, but like I said I feel it’s worth sharing and other people know so, voila we’re here.

So, here, on Tumblr there are a lot of stories people share about their personal lives, some are funny, some are sad, some are scary, and some are sweet. And a lot of them can revolve around how one person got hurt by another person. And this is then followed by people getting angry and reblogging and adding their own comments and maybe the OP feeling better or worse who knows. 🤷‍♀️

But, a lot of these stories (the ones I’m thinking of) revolve around sex. How someone’s boyfriend pressured them into sex, how someone’s best friend didn’t understand the word “no”, how someone DID stop but they didn’t at first and now the OP feels hurt and conflicted about their relationship and whether or not they should trust them anymore.

Now, relevant to the story, you should no that I do not “get around” much. So, these stories were the only way I really had to understand the intimate natures that come out between people in intimate settings. And, while none of these stories ever made me hate anyone outright they did create an expectation in my mind and psyche about “what I should expect” in an encounter/relationship should I ever get there one day.

So, flash-forward to (roughly) now and I’ve been meeting with this guy. He’s a good friend of mine and we’ve been friends for a while and we’ve always (well, maybe not always, but we definitely GOT there) had a bit of an on-again off-again thing going on. And every time we flip “on” we get a little bit closer, emotionally, spiritually, and (of course) physically. And deep in the back of my mind (because of Tumblr) I’ve always had this thing “watch out.” Not even because of him, but just “watch out.”

So, one night (a few nights ago) we’re um *cough* *cough* getting into it and um *cough* *cough* getting closer and clothes are starting to come off. My shirt, his shirt, his shorts, la da da dah, you get the idea. But I’m not ready yet. Not really. I mean I’m happy and I feel safe with him, but I’m not really READY. 

But, I also feel obligated because we’ve come so far, and I know there are expectations, and he’s DEFINITELY interested. (It’s not like he’s not.)

And, in all honesty if he had asked me, or if he had pushed it I almost certainly would have done it. It’s the expectation of the thing.

But he doesn’t.

And, not ONLY does he not, but after a while, after we’ve been doing all of this stuff I no longer even have any clothes on, he gets up 

AND. 

HE. 

LEAVES. 

Because he knew. 

He knew I wasn’t ready, and he knew I would have only said “yes” because I would’ve felt obligated to, and he didn’t want that for me. He didn’t (and doesn’t) want me to be in any way uncomfortable or unsure. 

He’s even told me before, “I want you to be ready.” 

And even though HE WANTS IT he won’t even do it if he feels that I don’t.

I want people to know that I’m not writing this post because I want people to feel like “this is how all men should be.” I’m writing this post because I want people to know that there are other stories out there. That you don’t have to expect that a guy will just take advantage of you on your first time or, that YOU SHOULD EXPECT HIM TO. 

I want you to know that there are other stories out there, other ways of being with someone that don’t have to be uncomfortable or scary or that you might have to build walls (i.e. expectations) to prepare yourself for the “possibility.”

I want you to know that you can be loved and respected even the FIRST time around. I want you to know it’s possible. Because I didn’t know, but now I do and I just wanted to share that with you.