#he was really trying to figure out why I thought I was the artist formerly known as prince

[thornestar]

When I did my name change it was before gay marriage was legal so basically no one knew trans people existed. There were little check boxes on the form listing the reason for your name change. Of course there was no gender related options but there was a box for “other” where you could fill in the reason. I did not tick the ‘other’ box. Not me!

I picked “artistic reasons”

I wrongly assumed it would be easier to explain

My friend was getting his name change at the same time because I was helping him through the process. He picked the ‘other’ box. He was in and out with no fuss.

Not me! I was explaining all the types of art I can do to my judge. He finally let me have my name change when I offered to draw something to prove I was an artist. I’m pretty sure he was trying to understand why an artist like me needed a name change. Then he got caught up in my story and gave up trying.

[thiswasinevitableid]

10 tattoos/piercing, Danbrey, sfw, please!

Here you go! I based Dani's design on an arowana because I liked the color.

“Remember, non-scented soap, nice to meet you, byeee!” Aubrey waves to her client as they head down the boardwalk. She has thirty minutes until her next appointment, so it’s time to stretch her legs and check the little ‘doggy cam” she set up on Dr. Harris Bonkers cage to make sure the giant rabbit hasn’t finally managed to chew his way through the bars.

“Hi doctor” She coos into the phone. One white ear pivots towards the camera, but the bunny remains otherwise unmoved.

She leans on the railing, Pacfic sparkling like a postcard before her.

“Excuse me?”

“YEEEEP!” She jumps back, not expecting a woman to pop out of the water, let alone pop out and talk to her.

“Oops, sorry.” The other woman smiles, golden hair fanning out around her. There are two types of blondes in Long Beach; the ones hoping to be the next influencer sensation and the kind who are excited to tell you about GOOP and crystals.

Whichever kind this woman is, she’s the most gorgeous girl Aubrey’s ever seen.

“Um, can I help you?”

“Yeah! Can you tattoo me? A piercing would be okay too, but I really like how pretty the tattoos are.”

“Thanks. Um, you’re gonna need an appointment.” She pulls out her phone again, since it’s synced to the calendar Joseph makes them all keep, “lemme see....I have a big slot of time on Friday afternoon.”

The girl cocks her head, “That’s two days from now, right?”

“Yep.We can start at one if that works for you?”

“Sure, see you then!” She waves and then disappears under the water. A few moments later, a shimmering golden tail breaks the swell, seeming to wave once before submerging. Aubrey blinks, switches back to the bun cam.

“How do I tell Joseph I have to move my stuff outside to tattoo a mermaid?”

Dr. Harris Bonkers snuffles, but offers no further commentary.

------------------------------------------------------------

“Joseph, for the last time, you are not gonna hang around just to ask my client questions while I’m trying to work.”

“I don’t plan to, but we need to make sure everything, and I mean everything, is as sterile as we can manage. Doing this outside gives me hives as it is.” Joseph finishes setting up the pop-tent, the kind sun-phobic families take to the beach.

“C’mon, people gave each other traditional tattoos out in the open for centuries. It should be fine.”

Joseph makes an unsure noise, but leaves her in peace all the same. Before long a golden tail flashes out of the water as the mermaid swims towards the beach, the closest spot to the pier where they could actually set the tent and generator up. It’s right on the tide line, Duck having used his almanac to tell them whether Aubrey would be chasing the tide or fleeing from it if the appointment turns out to be long.

“Um, hi again.” She waves.

“Hello!” The mermaid slides up into the surf. When she sits up, Aubrey turns pink.

“Uh, do you, uh, want a swimsuit or something?” Her voice is embarrassingly high.

The mermaid looks down, then at Aubrey studiously looking elsewhere, and laughs, “Oh, right, I forgot humans don’t like it when we’re bare-chested.”

“I mean it’s not that we don’t like it-” Aubrey mumbles.

“Be right back.” She pushes back into the sea, returning a minute later wearing a bright green bikini top, “is that better?”

“Yep!” She replies too quickly, “Sorry, I, um, I’ve never worked on a mermaid before, kinda figured you guys wore seashells or sea stars or something?”

“You...you realize where that would put the seastar mouths, right?” The mermaid scoots up onto the beach, tail in the water and back on the inflatable recliner they borrowed from Kirbys apartment.

“Ooohouch, you’re right, fuck, sorry.” She grabs her flash binder, brought in case the mermaid didn’t have a design in mind.

The mermaid glances over her shoulder, smiling, “You’re cute when you blush.”

She maintains her professionalism, but only just, as the mermaid chooses her preferred design; a brightly colored swirl of planets and stars. For a newbie, she barely seems to register the needle, focused instead on studying Aubrey’s face and hands as she works. She learns that her name is Dani, that she’s one of several merfolk living near the pier, and that she’s observed Aubrey and her handiwork courtesy of a rock and a pair of salvaged binoculars.

“Oooh” Dani wiggles her tail happily when she sees the finished product, “it’s perfect, thank you so much Aubrey.”

“Glad you like it-oh, okay.” She stiffens as Dani rubs their cheeks together twice before pulling back.

“I’m supposed to keep it clean right?”

“Yeah, but I’m not sure how well saran wrap will hold up to sea water.”

A formerly empty Rose bottle thunks onto the sand. Dani grabs it, popping the make-shift cork off with her teeth.

“Ooh, Indrid sent me a special covering to keep it safe. And these must be for you.” She holds out two pearls.”

“Thanks” She’s more interested in watching the kissable lips covering razor sharp than the gems the mermaid gives her.

“Can I see you again?” Dani is halfway back in the water.

“Whenever you want. You’re a great client; you, um, you’re really nice to touch. Wait, um, I mean you take it really welllARGH, um, yes please come back.” Aubrey replies, tucking the second most valuable thing on the beach into her pocket and continuing to blush well after Dani has returned to the waves.

--------------------------------------------------------

“AHFUCK!”

“Sorry!” Dani gives a sheepish wave to Duck before turning to Aubrey, who got used to her popping out of the water five times ago, “are you free tomorrow?”

“Sure” even if she isn’t, she’ll happily reschedule another client for Dani’s sake, “do want to pick something from my flash?”

“Nope, this time Indrid designed something. It’s about the same size as this” she holds up the watercolor hermit crab on her right arm, “see you then?”

“Of course.” Aubrey waves goodbye, blows a kiss when Dani is out of sight.

She forgot Duck was still here.

“You got it bad, Lady Flame.”

“Shush, I saw you chatting to Indrid by the coffee shop yesterday.”

“....you can’t prove anythin.”

She holds up her phone, smirking, “Oh yes I can.”

--------------------------------------------

“Aubrey!”

She looks up, wondering who’s calling her name on the deserted beach. She brings Dr. Harris Bonkers down here on a leash late at night for enrichment for him and a break from the summer heat for her.

“Aubrey, over here!” Dani leaps through the surf until she;s only able to slide, “I thought it was you. Ohhhhhh” she squeals, “this must be Dr. Harris Bonkers. Hello cutie pie, aren’t you just so lovelyOH, oh he feels like an otter.” She rubs the rabbits head, causing him to creep towards the water, “you’re the second cutest thing on this beach, doctor.” She winks at Aubrey, then sits up, “can I introduce him to Ferdinand?”

Aubrey nods, excited to finally meet Dani’s pet; she only his name, but she’s expecting a seal, or maybe a crab.

What she gets is an octopus. The cephalopod winds a tentacle around her arm, investigating her.

“Aww, he likes you.” Dani sets the octopus down in shallow water, where it proceeds to stretch multiple limbs out to poke Dr. Harris Bonkers.

“Guess they’re having a playdate?” Dani scoots closer, resting her head on Aubrey’s shoulder.

Aubrey sets a hand on her tail, running her fingers up and down the scales as the mermaid sighs happily.

“As long as he doesn’t carry Dr. Harris Bonkers into the tidepools, they can hang out as long as you like.”

----------------------------------------------------------

“Dani? How many tattoos are you planning to get?” Aubrey looks up from where she’s outlining an octopus on Dani’s side.

“I haven’t decided yet. It’s really common for mers to have lots of piercings and tattoos. That’s why Indrid can leave Duck so many expensive tokens; he’s the most in-demand tattoo artist on the coast.”

“Neat! Wait-” she sits up, shutting off the gun, “your friend is a tattoo artist, but you kept coming here?”

“Yes.” Dani is still, save for the end of her tail, which vibrates nervously.

“Why?”

“Um, well, I, I really liked your style. Then I really liked you, and I wanted to keep seeing you…”

“Holy crap, do you keep getting tattoos because you think that’s the only way you’re able to see me?”

“Uhhuh.” Dani is bright pink from her cheeks to her waist as Aubrey scrambles to sit in front of her, “I mean, when you want to date someone, you’re only allowed to see them at their work until they say they want to date you too. Even us meeting on the beach a few weeks ago was pushing it, and I didn’t want you thinking I was pushy.”

“....Huh?”

“Do humans not have that rule?” Dani’s honey-colored eyes widen.

“Nope. It’s actually kinda rude to ask people out at work, because they can’t get away BUT” she hurriedly sets the gun aside, “but I make exceptions for super cute wonderful mermaids.”

“Oh. In that case-” Dani knocks her backwards with her tail and climbs atop her, kissing her so hard she wonders if you can die from a really good make-out session. When the salty kiss ends the mermaid continues peppering her face with kisses and flicking her tongue along her neck.

“Dani I, I’m loving all of this but if you mess up my ink I’m gonna be as annoyed as I can possibly be with a gorgeous mermaid feeling me up.”

“Crap, you’re right.” Dani sits back up, glancing at the half-done tattoo, "I really don't want to ruin your work. Desperate need to see you aside, I do love your style." She folds her hands back into her lap and readjusts onto the inflatable chair.

Aubrey crawls forward, kissing her sweetly, "Once we're done and you're all wrapped up, wanna join me on the beach for a little, um, late night picnic."

A teasing kiss, first to her nose and then to her lips, "I'd love to."

[yellowmagicalgirl]

Seklos and Gaylen, They Were Cagemates! Chapter 1: Captivity

Agents of Area 49-B are there during the chaos of the Eternal Night, and unnoticed they manage to capture two specimens: an emo wizard and an Akiridion prince. Douxie and Krel must rely on each other to make it out alive, but neither expected such a deep bond to form between the two of them.

Do not let the meme title fool you, this fic will be dark.

Trigger/Spoiler Warning for Chapter 1: electrocution, kidnapping, and references to canon-typical violence as well as child abandonment.

AO3

FFN

Douxie wasn't sure why he expected the future to be void of Gumm-Gumms. Sure, according to Zoe, trolls had largely disappeared from the world at the same time that Merlin and Morgana did. And Tatik Margarid had only seen a troll once. Thus, Douxie had assumed that trolls had largely disappeared, having crawled deep underground. Orglak and his horde had stopped trying to kill humans, and the only threat to stray cats (or dragons who looked like cats) were Shadow Mephits.

Naturally, Douxie had been wrong. Gumm-Gumms had attacked the Battle of the Bands. And obviously, some people had known about them, like Claire. She had been better prepared, with her armor. There was something familiar about it. Something that made him feel homesick for Camelot.

It really sucked. And the Battle of the Bands had been going so well before the sky went orange and the Gumm-Gumms attacked. The competition was, for the most part, the way it had been last year - a bunch of amateurs who were looking for fame and had thus trained themselves to sing and badly play guitar in a month, and music students hoping to impress their teachers even though the school year had just ended. But there had been a boy who fulfilled two out of the three indicators of Douxie's type. He had wavy, chin-length hair, and he was good at music. Douxie didn't normally like dubstep, and yet that boy's music had been so mesmerizing.

Oh, who was Douxie kidding? The dubstep artist was mesmerizing in general. Douxie got the feeling that the others in Ash Dispersal Pattern would be teasing him about his latest crush right now if they weren't…

Douxie didn't know where they were. He bit his lip. Could they be dead?

He shook his head. No. He couldn't allow himself to think like that. He knew that a lot of normal humans had immediately ran for cover, so he had to think that his bandmates were still alive and in hiding. He could find them, and possibly grieve them, when the Gumm-Gumms were gone. Or he could finally reveal to them what he had been keeping a secret from the world ever since he was fourteen, and before that, until he was taken in by Merlin. It was lonely, having to keep the truth about himself hidden from his friends, and maybe this sudden incursion of Gumm-Gumms were a blessing in disguise. A chance to reveal himself. Though, he would have to check with Tatik Margarid and the hedge wizards first. He wouldn't put them in danger for his own desire to not have to hide a part of himself. After all, they couldn’t be sure if humans would accept them or not.

Douxie pushed the thoughts out of his head as he readied yet another spell. He couldn't allow himself to get distracted. Not now, not when he was in the middle of a battle. If he got too distracted, he could lose a limb or have his head bitten off.

Or, as he would later piece together, if Douxie got too distracted a normal human could hit him with a taser, knock him out, and kidnap him.

Krel let out a sound that might’ve been considered a scream of frustration had it been louder. The Mothership had been fixed! They should have left sooner, but no, they had stuck around on this mudball so that Krel could have made his mark on the humans of Arcadia Oaks. Kleb, that decision was so stupid! They should have just left. His family and Zadra would be safely hiding, and the traitor would be exiled in a place that Aja and Krel would know about.

He would never admit it to anyone, but Krel had been so stupid. Stupid, and egotistical, and so many other things he wouldn’t dare to admit to anyone.

Krel stood up and stretched. Ricky and Lucy were always trying to tell him that fresh air was good for him. It was a fault in their programing, to try and be parents to the human versions of Aja and Krel, since Akiridions didn’t need to breathe. How could the freshness of the air affect him? Moreover, how could the unfiltered air outside be fresher than the air inside?

But after all these horvaths of trying and failing, Krel would take their more-than-likely faulty advice.

Zadra was arguing with Ricky and Lucy, so Krel was able to sneak around her. Aja was closer to the door, talking on her phone.

“One moment, Steve,” she said before pressing the phone to her chest. “Where are you going?”

“Out.”

“Do you want me to come with you?”

“I’ll be fine.”

“Are you sure you’ll be safe?”

“Yes, Aja.” He held up his serrator. “I’ll be fine. Don’t tell Zadra.”

“I wouldn’t dream of it,” she said, before going back to talking to Steve. Ugh, hopefully they weren’t planning on doing more K-I-S-S-ING.

Krel exited the Mothership, looking up at the evening sky. Given how far they were from the city, Krel could just make out the beginnings of stars, as well as the brighter, more constant glow of the other planets in this system and the moon. The sky was so different here, compared to home. If he really focused, maybe he could figure out which star was nearest to home, but from so far away he would probably need some of the Mothership’s help.

Krel sighed. He didn’t need to, since he didn’t need to breathe, but it did have a calming effect. Huh. Perhaps Ricky and Lucy were right. The outdoor air was helping him.

Maybe Earth wasn’t too bad. They had to constantly hide, and it was a primitive planet, but Krel felt like he was starting to understand it. Leaving would throw the bounty hunters off their trail, yes, but it would also be a new set of social rules to learn.

Likewise, maybe it was nice that the Mothership had landed so far from the city, instead amongst all the trees. No pesky humans were there to watch Krel in his true form and talk about how all aliens wanted to suck humans’ brains out through their ears. He wouldn’t need to hide like this.

He tripped over a tree root.

Stupid. This planet was so stupid, and so were trees. Krel couldn’t wait to leave this stupid, stupid mudball.

Krel picked himself up, dusting himself off. Home didn’t have dirt. The Mothership didn’t have dirt. He hated it. Its texture was so gritty and frustrating. Stupid mudball made of dirt. Oh, why had he left the nice, clean Mothership?

Krel began to turn around when he saw bright orange through the trees. He would be best off ignoring it. As the past delson had proved, Earth was a very strange place, with things that Krel didn’t need to investigate.

But he was curious. Besides, it could be a threat.

He walked towards it. He wouldn’t get too close, just close enough to take a picture and tell Aja so she and…

Oh, kleb, he was going to have to tell Zadra that he snuck out.

He stepped on a twig. As it snapped loudly, he realized the orange formed the shape of a bipedal, two-armed life being.

It wasn’t the first time Krel had been electrocuted, but it was the first time he was knocked out because of it.

It had been a long time since Douxie had had to sleep cold, in threadbare clothes and sitting up, pressed against a wall. And never had he been alone; even as a street rat he’d had Archie. Then again, the last time he had been in this position, it had been on rough stones with space to stretch his legs and only the light of the stars, moon, and perhaps a distant home washing upon him.

He had awoken in a glass tube with an aching back and dressed in a thin white hospital gown and a pair of cuffs around his wrists with strange green flashing lights on them. Overwhelming green light lit the tube from multiple angles, and no matter how Douxie turned his head the light was always in his eyes. He’d tried to talk to the few, orange-suited figures walking around, but they had all ignored him. He wasn’t sure how long he had been here, but he had started to become hungry when the orange-suited figures had tossed a four-armed, blue-skinned person into the formerly empty tube that had been near Douxie. Douxie’s first instinct was to assume this person was a troll, but the person had been glowing blue before the green light of the adjacent tube had washed it out. Troll bodies didn’t glow.

Who or what was this person?

Krel came to with an aching shoulder. It felt like he had messed up on the wiring and –

And he’d been electrocuted by it. Or by the figure in the woods. They had been wearing orange, like the scientists of…

Krel opened his eyes to the green lighting of Area 49-B.

No.

No.

Oh, kleb, no!

Krel looked around. Had they gotten to Aja and Zadra? Or worse, Mama and Papa? What about –

Krel grit his teeth. If they had found the traitor, and Varvatos had told these humans roughly where to find the Mothership, then Krel would kill him, Aja’s pardon be klebbed by Seklos and Gaylen.

“So, you’re finally awake.”

Krel’s head snapped to the direction of the voice. There was a human, trapped in a similar cage to Krel’s. “Why are you here? You’re human.”

Well, was Douxie human like this person thought Douxie was? That was a question that both magic and mortals had been arguing about since long before Douxie’s birth. It seemed that the orange-suited figures thought that Douxie was too magic to be human, and they were the ones doing the trapping.

“I mean, I don’t exactly know where here is. You do?” Despite the fear coursing through his system, Douxie felt the smallest of smiles beginning to form on his lips. He wasn’t completely alone.

[justjessame]

Starting Over Chapter 40

Sam and Bucky left me to work on my portfolio - I also had a print to finish for Sarah.  I thought that I’d go with the printer upstairs first, then if I didn’t love how it turned out, I’d try out my new darkroom.  Sam had mentioned some “stuff” he needed to finish - vague, but he WAS Captain America - and Bucky had to check in with Raynor after he made one last amends.   

“It’s Yori,” he told me, alone in my - I didn’t really have a name for the workspace Dad created in the guestroom -.  “We’re friends, or we were -” his eyes were tight and I reached out to hold him.  “I killed his son, Brooke.  I snuffed out the life of his son, and I have to tell him that - confess to him that I DID it.”  

“It wasn’t -” I stopped, he didn’t need me to say that, not now.  He wasn’t looking for absolution from me.  He was looking for strength.  Framing his face gently between my hands, I forced him to focus on me, not what he was about to do.  “You are Sergeant James Buchanan Barnes, Bucky, formerly the Winter Soldier. The Winter Soldier killed Yori’s son and YOU are going to confess to that -” he looked so torn apart by it, the knowledge and the memory.  “You’ll tell him, you’ll admit to it, and give him the power to decide what to do with it -” We both knew that Bucky had been pardoned, the consequences he’d face from Yori were higher though - the loss of a friendship and comradery that he’d come to appreciate and enjoy.  “But regardless of what Yori does with what you tell him, you’ll come home -” hearing the word, knowing that I meant me and our house, I felt some of his tension relax.  “And I’ll be right here waiting for you, Bucky.”  

Bucky’s arms were tightening around me, clutching me like a drowning man might a life preserver. And the kiss he took before he left was just as desperate.  He needed reassurance.  And I hoped that Raynor AND Yori understood just how fucking hard he’d worked to get so far.

While they were gone, I worked on getting the image of Sarah’s boys and the shield just right before making it big enough to go over her mantle.  It was touch and go, and it took longer than I cared to admit, but when it was finished - I have to admit I was pretty damn impressed with myself.  

The bigger issue, I realized, staring at the huge picture that I’d managed to figure out how to create - was how to get it from Brooklyn, New York to Delacroix, Louisiana without it ripping or wrinkling?  A tube would be perfect, a frame better, but -

A soft knock interrupted my musing and I looked up to see Sam staring at me from the doorway.  “I see you figured out Sarah’s copy,” he was grinning and I rolled my eyes.  “It’s huge.”  

“No kidding,” I tilted my head while I contemplated the closest office supply store.  “I need to grab a tube.”

“A tube?”  He’d moved closer to study the picture, his eyes roving over the matte finish.  “Like what they put blueprints in?” 

I nodded.  “Can’t have it ripping up before we get there, can we?”  He snorted.  “I could have it framed, but I don’t know what Sarah would pick, so I don’t want to be presumptuous.”  

“Safer to get the tube,” Sam agreed.  “What size do you need?”  

I told him and he grinned and said “On it,” and was back out the door before I could argue.  

With that task crossed off, I got up to see what Connie had brought with her grocery load.  If it was going to be a threesome for dinner, I should probably fix something.  

By the time that Bucky came home - and he’d been gone long enough to make me start to get worried - Sam was helping me in the kitchen.  I’d been happy to see that Connie, knowing me and my family for as long as she had, had gotten me all the staples of the quick but hearty and leftover friendly dinners my mom had loved.  

The house smelled like Italian sausage and melted cheese with a hint of garlic and yeast.  Bucky found us as Sam was chopping up the salad add-ins - tomatoes, cucumbers, onions - and I smiled when he came straight for me and a kiss.  

“Hey,” it was a murmur against his lips, but he didn’t really give me much of a chance for more than that.  “You ok?”  

“Yeah,” his eyes looked like he’d lost something - and I knew he had.  He’d lost Yori.  “What’s for dinner?”

“Brooke here is a freaking chef on top of being an artist, Bucky,” Sam bragged, and I shook my head, while Bucky held tight to me.  “She’s making this baked pasta dish that - well I’m telling you what, I have a feeling we’re going to be so stuffed that we won’t have to eat the entire drive to Delacroix.”  

“That good?”  Bucky stared down at me.  “Sounds amazing,” his forehead met mine.  “But that’s my Brooke.”  

Dinner was quiet, but Sam chalked it partially up to how good everything tasted.  I think he knew where Bucky went, and with his background he was giving Bucky time to process what had happened with Yori.  It wasn’t as awkward as I would have thought - Bucky sat at the head of the table, now that I’d insisted he took it willingly - and Sam and I flanked him.  His partner in heroism, and his partner in life - I hoped.  

After dinner, with a nineteen hour drive ahead of us - I offered our bathroom to Sam first.  He insisted that he’d shower in the morning, preferring to be fresh for the road.  The hallway half-bath was fine for the night, so with that assurance, Bucky locked up and we went upstairs.

I insisted, since we weren’t dealing with the upheaval that had come from Sharon’s gunshot, a hostage situation, and Sam’s unveiling, that we take that hot bath - Bucky needed it.  Leaving him in our bedroom to take a couple beats on his own, I took the same care to draw it that I had when I prepared it the night I welcomed him home.  A few candles and some soothing bubbles and salts, then I pulled him into the room - and I once again tried to wash away the grim of his day and the bad.

My back against the rim of the tub, cradling him against my chest, my arms wrapped around him, I told Bucky to tell me all about it - and he did.

Dried and back in nightclothes, back in our bed, Bucky pulled me into his body.  We weren’t as tired, and so - in the flickering blue light of the television - Bucky sighed into my still damp hair.

“We’re gonna end up putting off your meeting Dr. Strange,” I snuggled into his chest.  “I’m sorry, Brooke.”

“Why are you sorry?”  I had to pull away to look up at him and I hated to lose his warmth.  “Don’t be,” my fingers slid over his cheek, my thumb brushed his lips.  “First we celebrate Sam - AND you.”

“Me?”  That got his attention, his eyes found mine even in the dimness.  “Why do I need to be celebrated?”  

“You, Bucky Barnes, are just as much of a hero, “ he started to scoff, but I cut him off.  “You are, you always have been.”  Pushing up, so we were face to face, I moved closer nose to nose with him.  “Steve Rogers didn’t like bullies so he called them out into the alleys, but who checked the alleys to see where Steve and those bullies were?”  He started to say something, but I wasn’t finished.  “And yeah, he came searching for you when you were taken - when all of you were taken - but Bucky, what you went through before he got there?  You withstood it, you survived.  And you kept surviving.”  He didn’t want to remember it, the Winter Soldier and what he did to survive.  “You hate HIM, what they made you become, Bucky, and I get that - but I can’t hate HIM - not when he made sure that YOU are here.”  He really wanted to argue, but I STILL wasn’t finished.  “You saved lives, Bucky, just last night.  And then, you brought Sharon home with you even though you know I said I don’t share - and you had to have had a tiny inkling that I might have thought -”

That earned me a chuckle.  “I did think you might throw both of us out.”  

“I thought about it,” I teased.  “I love you, and I want to celebrate you every single day from here on out, Bucky.”  

“Every single day?” He asked, his voice going slightly husky.  I nodded, and his fingers slid through my hair.  “Can we start now?” 

Our lips met and my only thought was “abso-fucking-lutely”. 

[thattimdrakeguy]

Young Justice #10 review - How not to change a character’s identity.

This is finally the issue were Tim Drake becomes “The Drake” (or maybe just “Drake”), and honestly, it’s just lazy as could be. People were already fearing the issue, and it’s actually kind of worse than expected.

They made every bad choice they could’ve.

It is genuinely horribly done.

Most times when a character changes their identity it means something to that character. It’s a defining moment in their character evolution, and the name actually means something to that character.

Nightwing came from Dick Grayson trying to find himself as he grew up. Gaining the name from a trusted friend who told him a story from his home-world, that helped give Dick Grayson inspiration.

The Red Hood came from Jason Todd literally getting killed by Joker, a person that formerly went by the Red Hood. The name was practically a taunt, but an emotionally charged one that was connected to Jason’s story.

With this name  and costume change, it means NOTHING.

They don’t even explain where the suit comes from. He just shows up in it, and unless I missed it, no one even acts like anythings different, or brings up the costume at all.

Previously I just assumed the costume would spawn from a reasoning that had something to do with this Earth. To actually give a reason for it.

Like how a gang was insulting Tim’s colors.

But that gang that randomly attacked Tim in issue 8 went no where. Making the inclusion of them almost pointless besides world building, but in their defense, world building is important.

I have no idea why Tim thought it was important to change his costume, considering Earth 3 Drake pretty much wears a normal Robin costume.

Making the change in costume even more pointless and meaningless.

Costumes are meant to say something about the character in some shape or form. This costume has no introduction, no one brings it up, and it’s quality alone is shoddy. The colors stand for boring, and dull, in a few panels the red in it comes off almost as clashing, and the lack of any character-based details makes it terrible.

In the most objective way to consider the costume, even ignoring how Tim only wanted to be Robin, this costume was horribly made on the standards set by what costumes are supposed to do.

Costumes are suppose to tell you something about the character.

Tim’s last costume showed he was a boyish, tech based, ninja. Due to character details like short sleeves, built in tech, and ninja toes. Those details showed exactly what his character is, but this new one doesn’t come off like that. The new costume says absolutely nothing.

The logic of Tim choosing the new name is also completely horrible. He has no reason to change his name. Bart just started saying he should change his name to “Drake”. Why? I don’t think he actually says.

Why would Tim want to change his name to match someone who wants to kill him and is evil? Logically, he shouldn’t.

Why would Tim want to change his name just because Bart told him to? Logically, he shouldn’t.

Why would Tim want to change his name while on an alternate Earth? Logically, he shouldn’t.

Why would Tim want to change his name at all considering his character? Logically, he shouldn’t.

Tim Drake’s character always said that if he stopped being Robin, he would stop being a hero. That only changed when he got kicked from the role and felt he still had to save Bruce.

So now that he’s Robin again, why would he leave that role? He finally got back to being Robin like how he wanted, which actually felt good, but they never even explained why he was Robin again. In fact they implied he was still Red Robin, despite all the marketing and character’s saying he was Robin. Causing a massive inconsistency with just that.

It’s just plain out of character for him to change his name, and one of the biggest flaws you can ever make when writing a story of any kind is having one of your characters, especially one of the main characters, act out of character.

The name as well, while using the characters’ own logic, is out of character.

Tim Drake was always told to keep his secret identity hidden from EVERYONE. Even Barbara Gordon didn’t know Tim’s name until Batman told her (although that was mostly because Tim thought it was cool Babs knew Superman’s real name but not his).

In 90s Robin there was an issue were Stephanie Brown as the Spoiler comes close to finding out Tim’s identity. If Tim Drake went by the superhero name “Drake” and she cared enough to search harder, it would only make it that much easier to find out what his real name is.

You could say that the name is so dumb that’s why it’s so great, because anyone trying to figure out their identities wouldn’t expect them to be that dumb, but when the Bat-Family is so protective of their identities, why would they ever take the risk? That’s out of character.

This isn’t the only way this issue was lazy either. This issue constantly uses singular panel pages, as if they’re just trying to fill up space.

There are 4 entire pages dedicated to just one panel. In a 22 page comic, that means there’s only 18 or so pages that don’t go to mostly waste.

When you have a page like that, it’s suppose to be exciting. The first issue of Wonder Comics Young Justice used them excellently, but also, they had 44 pages I believe. So they worked well with the pages they had to tell the story.

In this issue they just overused them, like they were just getting lazy. It feels like a comic that was written during a hangover. Something Bendis might’ve done last minute when he realized he forgot to write the script.

Regardless if that’s not the case, that’s what it feels like.

The dialogue by itself isn’t much either. Mostly feeling rushed as could be, or only generic funny moments.

This is an issue, written of the quality of a comic that knows it’s going to be cancelled. I don’t think that’s the literal case for Young Justice, but that’s the vibe it gives off. It’s written so lazily, like it knows there’s no point, but it’ll use cheap publicity stunts like changing a character’s identity to get any sort of attention it can get.

However one thing the issue does really well, is establish why Jinny sticks out and is important.

It actually makes me want to read a Jinny Hex solo adventure, because Bendis seems much more interested in her than the rest of the team.

Like I love this snarky, queer, magically teched out, cowgirl.

I’ve never been more disappointed by a comic in general in my entire life though.

The first issue of this series capped off like the original series never ended it. It felt right at home, from the art style, the costumes, the writing, the energy, the fast pace. They really captured the magic of Young Justice. That first issue felt so genuine.

In this: the art style was changed due to there being a new and unfitting artist, they’re already changing the costumes to stuff much blander, the writing has become forced and rushed, the energy is zapped, and the pacing is so bizarre because of the constant usage of single pages.

If you want spoilers on the only events in the current day Earth 3 story, here you go: They fight Earth 3 Young Justice (Young $#@%ers? I guess.), Jinny finally uses her magical items, they win, they go back home.

In the flashback story of Jinny: She gets cheated on, we find out she’s a natural hero, we get a sense of her family’s history, and we finally learn more about the mystery of the chest.

There’s so much more character building involved, and she gets to feel like a real fully fleshed out person because of that.

--

If you wanna see the best bit of character usage in the main story, and I’m not being sarcastic when I say I like this part. Is this:

As simple as it is, it uses Tim’s character and the world around him to make a simple moment actually be pretty funny, because it uses the basics of character writing.

Compared to the rest of the Earth 3 story’s over-usage of cheap generic dialogue that anyone could say, and while you could argue anyone could say “Noooo... thank you.” like Tim did in the above panel, it works best with Tim because he’s already been shown as the most awkward, yet moralistic member of the team.

It actually uses his character.

--

I think the above panel is a good showing at the weird choice Bendis has made.

Earth 3 Steph is a more fleshed out character with a purpose than pretty much the entire Young Justice team in this story. When this is only the second story in this run of Young Justice.

Shouldn’t it be more important to keep fleshing out and focusing on the team itself? 

It doesn’t even feel like this is the first time these characters been together in a long time. They act as if they never been separated. Conner being stranded on Gemworld were he helped raise a kid doesn’t feel like it ever happened anymore. It affected nothing. It feels ignored. It makes the comic feel disjointed just from the last story arc.

Young Justice’s dialogue is almost entirely generic. Practically anyone could say what they have, and it would work just as well. There’s no character put into them, besides maybe Bart being immature and mouthy, but the whole team besides possibly Tim when he has his brain cell on is pretty immature and mouthy, and even then, Tim isn’t Captain of maturity, he mostly just forces himself to be because he felt obligated to be leader, he’s still a doofus kid.

--

An issue should never be written as badly as the Earth 3 story in this.

While the Jinny Hex story is actually really well-written as far as character building is concerned, the Earth 3 story is bottom of the barrel as far as quality goes, and that’s the story that actually has the whole team involved.

Bad dialogue, horrible out of character identity change, bad usage of page space, bizarre pacing, lack of story that actually feels worth paying attention too

This issue would personally be given a 3/10, and that 3 only comes from Jinny’s story being quite well written as a character piece.

[tirsden]

I feel like I need to say something about this, and ironically I already said what I want to say in Youtube comments, so the following has been drawn heavily from said comments.

At the timestamps of 19:26 and 19:35 of the Cynical Reviews video are two scenes that stand out from the movie, and I remember those textures from the trailer too. If you want to trigger an autistic person on any level of the spectrum, show them those scenes or even a still from the scene. I pulled up Notepad at that point to pre-write a comment and about one-third of the paused video was showing behind Notepad. Even just that much in my peripheral vision was literally making me nauseous as I worked on the comment. The busy, repeating pattern on the wall and costumes is a fucking nightmare.

Before I go any further, I'll mention where I am on the spectrum. I'm high-functioning autistic, the label formerly known as Asperger's Syndrome but I'm guessing they're trying to get rid of that label because apparently Dr. Asperger was cushy with Nazis. Oops. And if that word seems a little too flippant, understand that my seeing the relevant information on Wikipedia was devastating. I've been getting fed up lately seeing that "Aspergers is no longer a diagnosis" because I went 28 years without knowing what was different about me and why the world didn't make sense. I was about to leave a comment on another video, something along the lines of, "You can't take my diagnosis away from me, I have a label and it's mine. Not only is doing so disingenuous to me and people like me, it's disingenuous to Dr. Asperger." Before I hit submit I realized I should go google him before I said something I might regret... and staring at his wiki page, if I had a proper desk close enough to use, I would have been head-desking so hard. I really don't know how to properly put in words how I feel about the whole situation now... though the phrase "this is why we can't have nice things" comes to mind.

Back on the Sia topic and review, after I'd finished composing that bit of comment and watched a few more minutes of the review, I was feeling more and more like I'd been hit by motion sickness. Some of the footage after the timestamps probably didn't help, but my gods... "you haven't even watched my film" = "I DIDN'T EVEN SHOW IT TO ANYONE ON THE SPECTRUM OR THEY WOULD HAVE BARFED." Maybe I'm a little more sensitive than some in the motion sickness / visual trigger department, but come on. That is some horribly tone-deaf cinematography, and that's not even getting into the portrayal of the autistic character.

One of the first things I thought about Maddie's interpretation of autism, is that it's closer to something like Down Syndrome, but I had a Down Syndrome aunt and the comparison still makes me want to throw up a little. Closer does not mean accurate... but, yeah. That was my observation. Cynical's mention of Maddie drawing character ideas from a DiCaprio character with some other type of developmental disorder explains so much now. And I don't blame Maddie for what she was involved in, because it's clear she has an abuser controlling her life. There really isn't any flowery way to say that. It is what it is.

Sigh. What the hell do I even do with this? I love(d) Sia's music, and her episode of Carpool Karaoke was probably one of the most fun things I'd ever watched on Youtube. My favorite Pandora station is based off her song Chandelier, a station I've affectionately referred to as "Dying Cat Radio" due to the sound style of a lot of songs that play on it. Now... I think I'm going to have to delete the station and try to rebuild it via Aurora and similar artists. I do not do well with associations, and I was already on the fence after watching the Music trailer recently. After this review? It's over. And it's another nail in the coffin of "having real people as heroes," especially celebrity figures. Other nails for me have been Mel Gibson, Bruce Willis, and Vin Diesel... and I wonder at what point these people either became so disconnected from reality they lost their "souls," or if they were always like that and we just couldn't see it yet.

As for the associations thing and a big reason why I can’t really separate artist from art, I've only ever seen it addressed once by someone else, in the book Red Dragon by Thomas Harris. In the book, the author briefly describes his character Will Graham as such:

“Graham had a lot of trouble with taste. Often his thoughts were not tasty. There were no effective partitions in his mind. What he saw and learned touched everything else he knew. Some of the combinations were hard to live with. But he could not anticipate them, could not block and repress. His learned values of decency and propriety tagged along, shocked at his associations, appalled at his dreams; sorry that in the bone arena of his skull there were no forts for what he loved. His associations came at the speed of light. His value judgments were at the pace of a responsive reading. They could never keep up and direct his thinking. He viewed his own mentality as grotesque but useful, like a chair made of antlers. There was nothing he could do about it.”

And... I've run out of mental steam, so [insert conclusion here] because I've said what I want to say. The formal writing rules in me are cringing with a closing like that, but it can join everything else cringing over the disaster that is Music. Time to damage-control the migraine that's asking me why I'm staring at a big white thing with little black letters, and why I sat through that review when I knew the footage was not good for me, even just the clips used. "Oof" is right, Cynical Doggo... "oof" is right.

[dandyvespa]

Calling All K-Pop Survival Show Trash (I-Land Edition)

What’s good everyone

In the past I have talked about my interest in  kpop survival shows and my preferred lineups for shows like Produce 101 X and Youth with You.  These such posts got some attention and made me befriend some cool mutuals so I thought why not do more for any other shows I come across so I can also discuss with people and fangirl with them? Though I myself continue to like these shows despite evil editing and clear favoritism from producers/global fans, I still wish to share with you some hardworking trainees that I think you guys would be interested in, especially if ya’ll kpop survival show tl’s are dry and looking to fill the void with something different.  Well, I-Land happens to be that different show.  Now I know not everyone is a big fan of BigHit or even Mnet for that matter, I do encourage this show because it is a lot different from the format of the Produce series, or any past kpop survival show for that matter.  The standard for ranking trainees is not entirely up to global votes and the producers in the show give their valuable take.  Not only that but their living conditions, music choices, and selected trainees are very distinct and refreshing in my opinion.   Not only that but you have big names like Rain, Zico, Bang PD, IU, and much more contributing to the show to create the best global kpop group.

Now when posting this I realized I should have done this earlier because the show is already on its second part hehe.  I-Land is split up into two parts so I’m just gonna give a brief rundown.  The first part of I-Land involves these 23 trainees that all arrive individually or within groups to do this isolated and intricate building in the woods.  These trainees then go through a series of performances to see who is the most competent member in entering I-Land, this really swanky and high-tech living space fit with training areas, a kitchen filled with a bunch of food, very pristine and spacious dorm rooms, etc.  The catch is that only 12 members are only able to be apart of that paradise and will be determined by voting amongst themselves (already pretty political off the bat lol).  Those who are unable to attend the I-Land are sent to The Ground, basically a way more downgraded version of I-Land with much fewer resources.  This first part basically has these two groups pitted against each other and shifted between the I-Land and The Ground based on this trainee voting system and the producer voting system after completing various tests/competitions.  The only time where the global voting system mattered was towards the end of Part 1 in which the global votes determined the 6 trainees eligible from The Ground to be with the other 6 I-Landers (which have been selected to stay by the Producers).  These 12 trainees then dive into Part 2 of I-Land which is really the start of the actual competition to make it to the official 7-member debut line.  The 12 to 7 members are shaved down again based on a series of tests that will showcase their individual and teamwork skills.  This time the voting is completely based on an alternating system of producers and global fans deciding the ranking, the lowest such member being eliminated every other week.

So like I said I should have started this sooner since this show premiered back in June, but because a lot of people are just starting to know about the show because BTS and now Seventeen (Performance Unit) guested or are about to guest on the show (this includes possibly TXT and Gfriend given they are also tied to BigHit), might as well update ya’ll now on why you shouldn’t just be watching just because your ults are there for barely an entire episode.  Though I admit that there are shady moments and complaints I have with the show, there is no denying that these trainees that are picked are all really good in their respective areas and are incredibly dead set on becoming idols.  Now you may have heard people saying that this show is a “flop” based on Korean ratings.  Given I don’t know how tv ratings work in South Korea and know that this show is steered more towards global fans, a number of people I have talked to already about this show just watch on different video sharing websites or apps the next day so subtitles appear or they watch during the scheduled time of the live broadcasting on YouTube which I have to say is SOOOO pleasing for us international folks.  Ratings and famous artists contributing to the show aside, I once again stress that you guys should give the show a try just for the sake of getting to know these kids because I feel like with time and practice, even if they don’t make the final lineup, they will achieve their dreams eventually.

Now as much as I want to talk about the entirety of the show, I will once again post my top 7 members down below in the (Keep Reading) section.  If ya’ll don’t want spoilers and wish to look up the show first then by all means go ahead!  If you guys are curious about the show or even want to scream and talk about the show if you are caught up, please message me ya cuties!

NOW WITHOUT FURTHER ADO THESE ARE MY TOP 7 I-LAND TRAINEES (SPOILERS POTENTIALLY INCLUDED):

1) Lee Heeseung

No question about it Heeseung is one of my biases on this show and for a good reason.  This boy, a former BigHit trainee, is considered the ace of the show, an all-rounder who so far has shown stability in both dance and vocals (have yet to see rap being portrayed a lot in this show, but the producers, specifically Bang and Pdogg have said he really excels in rap and it was strange to them because he entered the show to focus more on vocals lol).  Not only that but he is selfless, a trainee that has been putting a lot of his fellow members first and sacrificing his own time to help them or steer them in the right direction.  Bro is also dorky and a total crackhead behind the scenes of I-Land lol.  As of part 2 I believe he is the trainee with the most seniority, as in years of training.  Despite showing his playful side here and there, he seems to be the most well-spoken and mature of the trainees, putting him as a major candidate to become a leader.  It is just a bonus that he looks this good too!  At this point in the show, it would be insane for anybody to not include Heeseung in their final debut lineup predictions.  Plus this is legit Bang PD’s favorite son ya’ll already know.

2) Park Sunghoon

Ah the little ice prince! Another former BigHit trainee (and my second bias lol),  Sunghoon is incredibly charismatic and knows how to show the right facial expressions on stage.  I honestly kind of see him as a dark horse in the show.  His vocals are pretty decent and he can really keep up in dancing.  Overall just so hardworking, and it definitely shows because he really has been consistent through the show! It’s pretty known he is a major visual in the show but a lot of people also like him for his clean-cut and simple personality. He is also very observant of the other members and can be just as doting and selfless as Heeseung.  What irks me is that the producers and even some viewers complain that his personality “overlaps” with other members, which is honestly an odd reason to have when considering the debut lineup.  He seems quiet at first but the kid can be so hyperactive, funny, and radiates crackhead energy as time goes by in the show, giving us more of his personality to work with.  What is more fascinating is that he used to figure-skate for 10+ years and decided to choose this path as an idol after seeing BTS.  He is also determined to show his parents that they shouldn’t have doubted him and that he took the right path and I just love that.  Please look out for him because with his popularity and competence, I am sure he will make it to the lineup!

3) Yang Jungwon 

Pack it up ya’ll we found our little maknae of the group who is a cutie and an all-rounder!  He is also a dark horse to me, but then again a lot of people consider him to be a “hidden ace” in the show.  Jungwon may be one of the youngest members in I-Land but amongst the other younger trainees, but he stands out as the most skilled by a landslide.  He excels at singing and is very stable.  In fact I think he is one of the few trainees that has a really good singing voice next to Heeseung.  He is also really good at dancing as well as free-styling.  I think he is also a former BigHit trainee (I... yes I know a lot of my picks just happen to be BigHit trainees but trust me I’m not just being biased lol).  I think Jungwon is someone who, though he excels himself, really appreciates his hyungs who he respects and wishes to learn from.  Coincidentally, his role model is Jungkook haha.  His ability to adjust to concepts, even the most mature ones, is also very astonishing.  Hoping that global fans not only see him as a cute kid but as a talented, caring, and hardworking soul.  Baby did not quit taekwondo to follow his dreams as an idol too!

4) Jay Park

Ya’ll you see this kid?  He is a fighter.  A competitor who brings the heat.  And behold he is also formerly from BigHit lol, but also SM entertainment! Jay is incredibly skilled at dancing and is very charismatic on stage. I think he is one of the few people who showcased rap pretty decently, but again this show barely showed the rap skills of any of these trainees to really conclude that.  The kid has been through a lot of humiliating moments in the show, even coming up with the iconic and meme-worthy line to accept such moments: resentment, anger, humiliation.  He has been placed in compromising situations, but he owns up the the situation and accepts responsibilities that no one would.  He is not as intimidating as he may want to look as he also very caring and helpful (plus his fear of ghosts is adorable). Even other trainees approach him to teach them choreography or get advice.  Also the way he was able to lead the Grounders in the Fire performance made me appreciate him even more since then.  I feel like he has the potential to be a great leader for the group as well.  He is also honest in what he feels and has no problem stating that to the viewers, but is never someone who whines about not getting his way.  His stubbornness will take him all the way to the debut line in my opinion haha.  Go hard my sweet potato boy!

5) Jake Shim

Our Aussie boy and the icon of improvement in the show! He happens to be one of the trainees with the shortest training time.  Despite this, he has had potential since his entrance test with Crown.  Jake has had some rough criticism that lead him to work very hard.  In fact he always feared that he may get behind others or not keep up.  I think out of all the members--and that is saying a lot because they all really do try their best--he is the one who is the most hard-working and constantly practicing the choreography, even when others are asleep.  I also think he has a pretty good vocal range, and it definitely improved since Flicker recently.  The fact that he came all the way here to South Korea by himself to achieve his dream of being an idol after witnessing BTS is so brave. I really respect him and his friendship with a lot of the members in I-Land, especially with Sunghoon! I think he will only continue to rise up and gain more traction from the global audience.

6) Kim Sunoo

Sunshine boy coming through! Sunoo came along with Jake and performed Crown together and since then I always thought he had some real talent.  This thought was only proven later on, but really set it for me his Save Me performance.  Listen his vocals are so promising despite also having a short training period.  I honestly think it would rival Heeseung’s vocals.  I do think he has room to improve in dance, but he really works for it.  He is always so positive and nice to others.  He is very modest and eager to learn and I love how he is basically this aegyo king who never cringes at the slightest when he acts like himself.  As someone who wishes to be on tv, I hope he gets there.  I feel like a lot of people have slept on him because he was mostly known as that one cute kid with adequate skills, but they are far more better than a lot of the trainees since the beginning of the show.  His popularity already puts him really up there so I can only hope he just continues to prove himself to the producers because they have already complimented him on his more masculine and skilled side in Fake Love.  Fighting my son!

7) K

Our last member is K! Now I have had my eye on K because his visuals really stand out for me, like something out of a comic or drama.  Handsomeness aside, K hails from Japan and is the oldest member on the entire show.  He is very experienced in choreographing and is undoubtedly one of the best dancers on the show, which was definitely established in the dance unit competition.  His vocals are also pretty underrated.  I think he that knows how to grab attention and make us wanting more.  Now as much as I adore his skills and ability to lead other members in the choreo, I have noticed that he is the type to be very straightforward, and it may come off as intimidating to other members.  I am not sure if this is just South Korean etiquette of respecting elders and just trying really hard not to upset them, but the way that members have had their fair share of discussing issues with how K just turns icy whenever he doesn’t see things his way or makes a mistake leading them to be frightened to the point of not being able to chime in with their thoughts is very alarming.  I get that no one wants to step on his toes further, but I hope this attitude and relationship doesn’t persist.  I like K and I can see that he dotes on other members and helps them out as much as he can, but sometimes his hypocritical and isolated attitude gets the better of him.  Now granted this may be a result of MNET’s evil editing, but seeing all these trainees share their uneasy thoughts regarding him makes me feel another way.  Even when these issues happen, it ends up with him having to talk it out with his members and reflect, which is highly appreciated.  Even the producers feel like K is important and is promising in his ad-libs and skill set.  May he recover from all these issues and keep himself together!

HONORABLE MENTION:

★ Hanbin

I thought I would add an additional member that I have been on the fence about if one of these other potential trainees do not make it, especially considering I am a bit scared of K’s placement due to global fans being easily persuaded by how MNET edits their shit.  I actually have never laid eyes on Hanbin since the entire first half of the show because he was always in The Ground.  After seeing him lose confidence their I was scared if he would ever recover.  Luckily, he opened up this time around! Not only do I see him acting more like this sweet older brother towards the other trainees, especially in times of conflict like with K and Niki, but he has really been standing out with his dance and vocal skills.  I already know he used to be part of a Vietnamese cover dance group, but I never knew how stable and clear his vocals were.  Though I don’t think he is as stand out as other members in these skills, he definitely showed more of his confidence and improvement since Part 1.  I was honestly wondering why so many people have been hyping him and I guess I was the one wrongfully sleeping on him and his hidden talents heh.  I also hope he is getting more recognition now and it would be nice to see another member who is outside of South Korea appear in the group, especially since Bang PD is going for a global group. Call me a Hannie now lol.

ALRIGHT end of this thread.  Again feel free to talk to me about the show or finally start watching the show.  Even though I did not list your favorite, understand this is my personal debut lineup.  This in no way means I am hating on any of the other members.  I think they all have what it takes if they were all able to get casted onto this show, and I hope they eventually will.   Given that I was looking for much more trainees that caught my eye, have had experience, a good personality, a natural and improved skill set, and just an overall good connection with them, these were the trainees I was most enticed by.  It is pretty set like this and I doubt it will change, but who knows.  Thanks for taking the time to read this and I hope check out the show or continue to stream it! <3

[vmheadquarters]

We’re still playing our game of written hot potato! Dozens of your favorite authors are taking turns to tell a Veronica Mars mystery story. Each writer crafts their chapter and then “tosses” the story to the next person to continue the tale. No one knows what will happen, so expect the unexpected!

Follow the “vmhq presents” and “murder we wrote” tags for all the installments, or read the story as it develops on AO3. --Chapter Twenty-Three of MURDER, WE WROTE is written by @disdainfullady​. And stayed tuned next week for Ch.24 from @artoftalent07​ - tag, you’re it!

_____________________________________________________________

CHAPTER TWENTY-THREE by @disdainfullady​

Veronica turned the page, fascinated despite herself. When Ruby had come stomping into Mars Investigations that morning, Veronica had had to try three of the breathing techniques Logan swore kept him from washing out of OCS before she dared to even acknowledge the girl.  Either she wasn’t fighter pilot material, or Ruby was worse than the drill sergeants – MTIs corrected the little Logan voice in her brain – because she could never be sure if those techniques actually helped, or just gave her time to fine tune her sarcasm.

In the year since Carrie’s death, Ruby had found half a dozen excuses to hire Veronica, mostly background checks for potential dates – so far none of them had been kicked out by a pop star’s security for hiding in a closet, but they were keeping hope alive – and one case where she was convinced the couple across the street were running drugs out of their basement.  She’d actually been right about that, although Ruby had based her theory on the idea that the couple had far more lawn ornaments than anyone not pushing meth had a right to, and still insisted that that was the big give away.

Veronica never had the heart to turn her away. Sure, she didn’t, they didn’t, strictly need the money, but there was something so earnest about Ruby, despite her off-the-wall conspiracy theories and what seemed like a new obsession every week.  It was sometimes hard to remember that Ruby was only a year younger than her - Veronica doubted she'd had half Ruby's enthusiasm and energy even in her all too distant pep squad days. Of course, she probably should aim for a degree or two below manic.

After leaving Veronica three voicemails of escalating urgency about a case she absolutely needed Veronica’s help on, Ruby had shown up at Mars Investigations that morning in full pensive-artist mode complete with glasses that were either fake or a prescription so minor that they might as well be, pages clutched to her chest, announcing that the case in question was that which took place in the novel she had written.

Veronica knew she should have politely declined. Maybe gotten Wallace to have one of his colleagues in the English department give it a read, if her conscience was really bugging her.  But it had been a slow week, and she wouldn’t have gone back to being a PI if she’d been able to resist the pull of her curiosity.  Nor would Logan forgive her if she wasn’t able to give him a full summary of the entire thing.

And the work was fascinating.

She wasn't sure what impressed her more, the depth of Ruby's research, or her completely scattershot method of applying it. Sure, she'd pulled in most of the obvious players, but there were some deep cuts in here.  Lenny?  Cole? She was pretty sure Cole's own parents forgot he existed when he wasn't in the room, yet here he was parading all over this mysterious snow ridden island within easy access of Southern California.  Actually, she mused, Cole would make a great killer in the traditional way of things. Veronica was always suspicious of named minor characters with no apparent motive.  

Unfortunately, it didn't seem like Ruby was a fan of narrative efficiency, so he'd probably just been tossed into the manuscript along with the kitchen sink that she only hoped would be getting its big scene in the next chapter or two.

A chair scraped and she looked up, remembering just in time to wipe the incredulous glee off her face.  Ruby Jetson, formerly Della Pugh, literary alias Mistress X, had scooted her seat even closer to Veronica's desk, and was staring at her with an eager intensity.  Veronica cleared her throat and the - fortunately wigless - Ruby inched forward even closer, her knee actually bumping the desk.  

"Did you get to the part where they discover the island's tragic past?" asked Ruby.  The question burst out of her like she’d been holding it in for the past hour.

"Not yet - it has a tragic past?"

"Every mysterious island has a tragic past, Veronica." Ruby's scornful tone was undercut by the restless tapping of her leg.

"Oh of course," Veronica nodded with what she hoped was an appropriately serious expression.  "Well, that's something to look forward to, then." And she sort of was.  The way Ruby phrased it she rather hoped the island had had a passionate romance with a nearby peninsula only to lose it to  - how did you kill a peninsula, soil erosion maybe?

"But as I said earlier, it's going to take me a while to go through all this.  You really," really, really, really she thought, "don't need to sit here and watch me read it."

Ruby’s face scrunched in disapproval.  “You said that you’d prioritize my case, Veronica Mars.”

Veronica sighed.  She steepled her hands as she tried to gently let the girl down.  “That was when I thought you had a case.  I’m not a literary critic, Ruby.”

Ruby snorted.

“No, but you are a detective, and if I can stump you then I know my story’s good.”

Veronica carefully did not point out the flaws in that particular assertion.  “You don’t want it to be too baffling, Ruby.  Readers like the satisfaction of clues coming together.”

Ruby, beamed, apparently delighted by this rather commonplace observation.  “I knew you wouldn’t figure it out,” she crowed. “I bet you haven’t even grasped the significance of the chocolate.”

Veronica shook her head, even as one corner of her brain started following the trail begun by that breadcrumb.  The significance of the chocolate?  The number of chocolate martinis that had supposedly been consumed by the party were massive – but she’d been to plenty of 09er events that had better liquor stores than most bars.  Was there something to read into that?  Oh, that one was going to bother her.

She shook her head.  “Ruby, you already revealed your character as the bad guy. There’s nothing to figure out.”

Ruby’s mouth dropped open and she blinked at Veronica in surprise.

“Me?  I’m not the bad guy.”

“You’re not?”  She’s wasn’t?  Oh god, was Ruby supposed to be the heroine?  Was Veronica supposed to be rooting for her own comeuppance in this magnum opus of Ruby’s?

“You’re barely halfway through.  Do you honestly think that I would give away the real villain that soon?”

Ah.  Veronica looked down again at the depressingly large stack of papers in front of her.  It hadn’t seemed like this much when she’d started.  

Ruby smirked.  “Ruby Jetson is merely a red herring.”

“Ah, like communism,” Veronica murmured.

Though she had to point out, “Of course, you are killing people.”

“Madison Sinclair,” Ruby scoffed.

Veronica gave an equivocal head nod, not quite acknowledging the semi-validity of that point.

“And Leo.  Should I wonder why you even know Leo?”

Leo had been in San Diego for nearly a decade at this point, and occasional appearances at high school dances in Miami Vice regalia aside, she wouldn’t have thought he’d have had much occasion to cross paths with Ruby.

“I do my research, Veronica.” Ruby gave another one of her smug, knowing expressions.  Veronica, no stranger to being smug or knowing herself, sighed inwardly.

“And you didn’t actually see what happened to Leo did you?” Ruby continued.  “I mean, sure Lenny took credit, but then he would.”

With neither wealth, nor wit nor charisma, Lenny Sofer had been one of Neptune High’s more determined bullies, a nonentity so frustrated by his lack of status he spent all his time searching for those below him on the ladder, trying to push them down further.  Veronica had pretty much forgotten he’d existed the second she’d graduated, as she’d imagined, had most of their class, his chosen victims excluded.  Now if Ruby had written some sort of Murder on the Orient Express situation with Lenny as victim, she could probably get behind that.

“Is Lenny Sofer actually your cousin by the way?”

Ruby looked offended by the question.  Did she think Veronica had memorized her background the way she, Ruby, had apparently memorized Veronica’s?  Ruby did have a flare for investigation, if one could get past the whole bit where she was mildly bonkers.

“Lenny Sofer is a sociopath,” Ruby said, flatly.

That didn’t actually answer the question, Veronica noted.

“He bullied me for two years straight.  I had to spend my lunches hiding in that gross bathroom near the physics lab because someone kept putting out of order signs on the good one.”

Veronica’s eyebrows rose.  “So, you brought him in as your partner in crime?”

Ruby rolled her eyes.  “Again, not actually the bad guy.  And his character gets what’s coming to him a little further on.” She smiled, probably going for sinister but ending up on goofy.  “Let’s just say that was fun to write.”

Veronica supposed she could understand that.  She had always been more about enacting her revenge, but it wasn’t like that didn’t come with its own set of problems.  Maybe Ruby’s method was healthier, if a little odd.

She gave a little shrug and settled back to read some more.

[wazafam]

The launch of DC's Future State has already brought new and ambitious re-imaginings of the publisher's core characters. But after learning just what is in store with the Future State versions the Suicide Squad and a millenia-old Black Adam, there's no question some of the biggest surprises for readers are still on the way.

In addition to a new version of Batman or wild glimpses of DC's possible futures, the conclusion of Death Metal also brought with it the return of parallel worlds and realities many believed to be erased, or at least overlooked, from the DC Multiverse. It's those worlds that have been chosen for DC's Future State: Suicide Squad #1 arriving January 26th. With a new version of Task Force X taking a mission to Earth-3, followed by Black Adam's own mission in the 853 Century in the same issue, the stage is set for two major twists. Screen Rant got the chance to speak with new Suicide Squad writer Robbie Thompson and Jeremy Adams about both unexpected tales. The full interview, as well as a preview of both stories contained in Future State: Suicide Squad #1 can be found below.

RELATED: Superboy is Building DC's New Suicide Squad

Screen Rant: So with Death Metal setting up a new status quo, the shift from that finale into Future State obviously happened faster for readers than for you guys. Can each of you speak to the process of how you joined Future State, and landed on these particular characters, and inside the same book? I'm assuming you didn't need to be talked into an event like this.

Robbie Thompson: I was working on Teen Titans, and this was a long time ago. Usually in comics, your runway is about 20 feet, so it was quite a while back. I'm not sure when you go brought in, Jeremy, but I felt like we got a lot of time which we don't normally get. Was that your experience as well?

Jeremy Adams: No, my experience was that I was brought in under the umbrella of 5G. Then that all fell apart. I had never written a comic, and that's always been on my bucket list since I was a little child. So I thought, "Oh, it was so close. And yet again, it has crumbled before me." Then a couple months ago, my friend Tim, who's writing Teen Titans now in the Shazam Future State, mentioned me to our editor Mike Cotton. Cotton asked, "What about these guys?" And Tim's like, "Oh, Jeremy is great." So, Cotton called me up and said, "Hey, would you like to do something with Black Adam in Future State?" And I'm like, "Okay, what's that?" I really didn't have much time.

The advantage I had compared to a lot of the people in Future State is that mine is so far removed in the future to the DC One Million segment that I didn't need that much run-up, other than trying to make sense of DC One Million. Which I loved, but it's crazy. Cotton, very cleverly, is trying to weave some overarching story between the Future State titles that he's editing - which I think is very good. So, having to try to figure out how to put that into what I was doing was really fun. But I didn't have a lot of lead up.

Robbie Thompson: I guess we had somewhat similar experiences in that, although I was not involved in the artist formerly known as 5G, there was definitely a sense that I got of, "Okay, here's this big event, and here's how we can be interconnected. Here's how we can tell stories that can stand on their own," which was another big appeal to me.

I also knew I was going to be writing the Suicide Squad ongoing book, so that that was really helpful too. Because Cotton and [Assistant Editor Marquis] Draper both had a very clear idea what they wanted for that book, which made forward reverse-engineering Future State a little bit easier on my part. Just to finish the thought, I was working on Teen Titans and my job was to come in and land that plane. That's that's what I did, and that was fun. I figured, "Okay, my time at DC is done. I'm wrapped. I never got to write Ambush Bug, but it was a good time." But then Cotton reached out and was like, "Hey, what are your thoughts on the Suicide Squad?"

I was a big fan up to Tom Taylor's recent run with that crew, so I'm like, "What did you have in mind?" I'm from TV, so it's always great when editors are like showrunners and have a clear vision of what they want; it makes the job a lot easier and a lot more fun. To have a little bit more time than usual was also cool. It's not that we haven't burned through that time or changed some stuff, but to have the luxury of that was very cool.

SR: Death Metal opened the door for revisiting previous worlds and realities and storylines. For you, Robbie, that means a return to Earth 3. And for Jeremy, it's a trip it's a trip through time to DC One Million. Can you both set the stage for these return trips, if it will be the same version fans know, and what it was you found appealing about these corners of DC lore?

Jeremy Adams: For me, it's the Black Adam of it. When you read DC One Million, which is so far flung in the future, one of the things that I noticed was that there was a lack of discussion of magic. And I think that was kind of the thread I started pulling at when you're talking about Black Adam and who would that character be. Why is there no real discussion of magic, and what does that look like? Kind of hinting at what could have happened to magic, but also using that as a catalyst to get us into a bigger threat that is going to play a critical role, especially in Teen Titans Future State.

I thought that, to a degree, I had one of the easier jobs because I could be so far in the future. I don't know if I'm spoiling anything, but in one of the panels in the background, you can see Etrigan, except he has a Detective Chimp hat. I didn't have any brakes put on me, in terms of the things I could do or not do. The fact is that the DC One Million just afforded me an opportunity to play with that, and go into that world. When I first read it, I was kind of like, "I don't know..." and then I reread it and I'm like, "This is awesome!" It's really strange and out there, but it has a really great ending. To be able to play something in that time, and then try to trace it back to what might have happened in some of the other books, was really fun.

Robbie Thompson: I would say I had a similar experience, in terms of the worlds that's opened up. Earth-3 is fun and everything but, I think for me, it was more about what Cotton and the crew wanted to do with Amanda Waller. I think she's always been such an amazing character. She's both the protagonist and the antagonist of the story. And where they wanted to take her was eventually to Earth-3, which is sort of a bit of a cautionary tale. If she gets what she wants in the ongoing series, it's curtains for us. But it was really more about exploring what drives Amanda Waller.

In Future State, we see what she's doing. And then in the series, I guess, we kind of unpack why she's doing it. We're seeing her trying to do something different after having done the sort of the same for a while. And we're exploring what that breaking point was for her, and why she wants to try something different. That, coupled with the addition of Superboy to the team - he's in the Future State books, and the two-parter is centered around him and Waller. He's introduced very quickly in the ongoing story, and I was just really excited about that character.

We have a bit of a mystery with him - I don't know how much I'm allowed to say - in terms of where he's going and why he's there, but it dovetails a little bit with Walter's story. You'll see it hinted at in Future State issue 2. I was excited Earth-3 and I love the crime syndicate and all that other stuff. But, really, it was about exploring what Waller is up to, and it was kind of a means to that end. She's a means to an end kind of a character, so it felt like it fit pretty nicely.

Jeremy Adams: It's such a good high concept too, Robbie.

Robbie Thompson: I blame Cotton; it's all his fault.

RELATED: DC's New Superman Is Quite Different From His Father, Kal-El

SR: Despite the name of the book being The Suicide Squad, you're getting to assemble three teams in play at this point. The first page will pleasantly surprise people when they open the book to meet the Justice Squad, which has been glimpsed in some preview pages. You have assembled a motley crew out of some hilarious deep cuts that are guaranteed to send fans searching DC Wikis.

Robbie Thompson: Again, I have to credit Cotton and Draper, the editors on the book. When we first started talking about the book again, we initially were talking about the ongoing Suicide Squad book. There were a lot of pieces that they wanted to play around with. But the thing that was appealing to me, and I think it's the appeal of the great Suicide Squad runs that I've enjoyed, is the motley crew of both familiar faces and obscure faces. To spoil a little bit in the new series, we'll be introducing some new characters. I wouldn't get attached. I mean, it is the Suicide Squad. I literally will put that in the script. I'll be like, "Don't get attached. Two pages later. the neck bomb's going off."

But, yeah, we wanted to kind of play around you know with what a Bizarro Justice League would look like. What would it look like if Waller was assembling ostensibly her own version of the Justice League, with her squad bent on it? It led to some larger iconic characters, like Conner Kent now being Superman. But then we were like, "Okay, who's our Flash? Who's Wonder Woman..." and that led to some really just fun and frankly weird shit, getting Talon as Batman and Clayface as the Martian Manhunter.

To Jeremy's point earlier, because Cotton is weaving a bunch of these things together, we do have the futuristic version of a new Teen Titan character that will be introduced in Tim's book. It's definitely a weird group of people. I think this is in the preview pages, but much like any Suicide Squad or anything with Waller attached, I wouldn't get attached to any of these people. Pretty quickly, you see a pretty iconic character go right out the window. But that's been our MO: how do we keep this true to those classic Ostrander stories that are character-driven, but with characters that are obscure and weird and that you end up caring about? Then, of course, their heads blow up and that's the great paradigm of a book like this.

The Justice Squad is definitely a motley crew. But, like you said, we're gonna meet a couple of others. I think I'm allowed to tease stuff. If this is the new Task Force X, there's also hinting at a Task Force Z. What powers that, I think, is a cool mystery for fans. And then, of course, our last page is the Squad itself. It's always fun to build teams, but on Suicide Squad, it's even more fun to break them down - sometimes literally. The two-page spread that introduces the Squad is really just another piece of fantastic storytelling from Javier Fernandez, who's the artist on the book.

SR: A special treat is that Peacemaker is playing a major role here. He's getting a ton of buzz right now, thanks to James Gunn's Suicide Squad sequel, but you have the cool honor of introducing him to a lot of fans. Where does your Peacemaker fit in this battle of bad versus evil?

Robbie Thompson: I think the great thing about Peacemaker is in his first line: "peace at any cost," or whatever, I'm blanking on the exact phrasing. He is such a delightfully arch character in that regard. And he's such a fun contrast, especially in the later years where he got even more rigorous and how he wanted to find peace. So, I think the thing that's fun about him is that he's not really interested in good or evil; he's interested in peace. He doesn't really care who gets in his way, as you'll see in the story, and this is the story that we're gonna be telling long term with Peacemaker.

He is at odds with Amanda Waller. As you'll see in the ongoing series, he's a willing member of the Suicide Squad - as much as you can be. At least that's what he's telling himself. In terms of placing where he's at, I think what we hint at in the story is that he was working for Waller and was a believer and what she was doing, and she has gone a step too far even for Peacemaker. Waller is kind of off the rails. But what I think is great about both characters is they both can be protagonists and antagonists. They both genuinely feel that what they're doing is not only the right thing, but the good thing. In their minds, they have justified their actions to meet that questionable morality.

Yes, he's a buzzy character, because he's going to be in the movie and they're doing a TV show. And it's John Cena playing him, which is amazing. I love that guy. But it was really about finding a fun, opposite number for Waller. They're two people that might seemingly be on the same page, but then what would tear them apart? That's sort of where you're seeing Peacemaker at the beginning of this; he is none too pleased with Waller.

SR: That actually is a fantastic segue for you, Jeremy. Fans of Shazam don't need to be told how far Black Adam would climb if he was given a few hundred centuries. For that very reason, the Adam they meet in this story is not the one that they're going to expect. What led you in that direction of subverting his reputation?

Jeremy Adams: I think because Adam's trajectory from being the chosen champion of the wizard Shazam, and then that power going through his head so he becomes this kind of antihero, feels like a hollow pursuit. I think what makes him interesting is when he finally found Kahndaq, and he's like, "I have a people, and I have a mission to protect." This has extended out into the universe now, but he gives up that iron fist, and it's more about Kahndaq being a place of refuge. He mirrors that, and he's kind of stepped away when we meet him from that life of being a warrior; of being somebody that fought for things. He's almost gone the other extreme, into kind of pacifism.

And he's lived for hundreds of years. There's this perspective he has on what actually means something. That's kind of where our story moves a little bit. What would it take for somebody that's seen it all to keep wanting to live? And that's where we meet him. What brings that fire back that makes him want to fight again? Because that's not where he is when we meet him.

Related: The New Wonder Woman is Completely Rewriting DC Mythology

SR: What are your hopes for this tale? I feel like this is a very different story than people would expect from Future State Black Adam.

Jeremy Adams: Yeah. I'm in awe of many different things: the fact that they let us create some characters, which has been an absolute joy - particularly one character that I got to help create that is my favorite person ever. Also, taking something from my animation work and being able to put it into the DC proper has been really great too, and seeing how that character will have far-reaching effects in other books.

But this is my first time out as a comic writer, and I'm still learning the ropes. Mostly, when I see Fernando Pasarin's art, I'm like, "Why are we splitting it with words? This is stupid. We need to strip out all the words, and just put this incredible art there." Because he really captures the emotion and the humor and some of the insanity of it. But I think because it was my first attempt at a comic, and it was also me thinking it could be my last attempt at a comic, I'm gonna just throw the kitchen sink at it. I think it's really fun, and even the second one doubles down on the craziness of it. But I like that kind of unrestrained imagination, where I can keep putting ideas out.

Robbie Thompson: I did the same thing when I was at Marvel, I think it was issue 4 of Silk. Because I was like, "Oh, we'll get cancelled at 5." Right? But I put the Fantastic Four and Galactus in it, and there was no reason for either to be in the book. I thought, "This is it. This is my chance. It's the fourth issue."

Jeremy Adams: That's what I did when I got on Supernatural, because I knew it was the last season. "Here's a bunch of ideas!" And they're like, "No."

SR: You both are giving readers a lot to talk about with, with more than one headline-worthy twist or reveal or development. Are you prepared to see how fans react to those bombshells?

Jeremy Adams: Robbie and I have been through the crucible that is Supernatural. So, sans expectation, I'm just like, "Alright, whatever." That's not why I do it. I do it because I want to tell that story. I want to be crazy or zany or whatever. Because I'm a fan, so I write toward my inner fan.

Robbie Thompson: I mean, you're always going to have - on characters that people are so attached to, or teams that people are so attached to, or content - you're always going to have something. It's almost a fool's errand to chase it. Becaus when you do chase after the shiny thing, it's the thing that you never thought - it turns out they love this over here, and they're obsessed with that detail.

I certainly hope that people talk about it. As one of my first editors said, "It's only when they're not talking about your book that you're in trouble." I certainly hope they do, but I wouldn't say it was the intention. I really can say that on every book I've ever worked on, there's always the thing that I felt like, "Oh, this will get their tongues waggin'." And then no, it was actually this thing over here. It was this relationship that people got really invested in, that was for me just a means to a plot end, but for them it was the conduit into the book or the story or whatever. So, yeah, I certainly hope they get chatting.

SR: In that vein, can each of you speak a bit about the art teams responsible for this future cosplay? They more than deliver right from the start, and it's hard to imagine them elevating it from here.

Robbie Thompson: I'm really bare bones in my scripts. I'll just say, "This is a new version of Batman; it's Talon. Have fun?" I'm dressed like a failed lumberjack; I'm not the guy for that. Fortunately on Future State, I'm working with Javier and Eduardo on the ongoing. They're just briilliant artists. Javier took all of the ideas that we were talking about in the book and really just made his own take on all these characters. And then Alex came in with his colors and did an amazing job, and everybody just came to play in their own way. If people end up cosplaying as Talon Batman or this creepy Martian Manhunter, it's all thanks to Javier and his design work. I don't know about you, Jeremy, but seeing those new designs come in every single time is always so exciting and really fun.

Jeremy Adams: Yeah, I was a little overwhelmed by it all. Because in animation, you write something and then you got to wait a couple years before you actually get to see it. But when it comes to this, it's almost like live theater a little bit. You have a very quick reaction that you get, because these geniuses that are artists and colorist and inkers come in, and give you this magic from the little words you scribble down. I probably am a little more descriptive in certain things, just because of the byproduct of animation in general. But the fact is that everything that I had in my mind, Fernando did it times 10. It was just so detailed and so interesting. Even the coloring and the inking; everything was just so perfect.

It's a weird thing for me, because you get the pencils back and you're like, "Can we just release this? This is so good." Then you get the inks back, and you're like, "Well, this is great!" And then you get the colors back, and you feel like, "Well, I don't know why I'm here." That's kind of how I feel the entire time.

Future State: Suicide Squad #1 will be available at comic book shops and digitally on February 26th, 2020.

Future State: Suicide Squad #1

Written by: Robbie Thompson, Jeremy Adams

Art by: Javier Fernandez, Fernando Pasarin, Alex Sinclair, Oclair Albert, Jeromy Cox

Cover Art by: Javier Fernandez, Marcelo MaioloDerrick Chew

Editor: Mike Cotton,

SUICIDE SQUAD, PART 1 / BLACK ADAM, PART 1

The Suicide Squad enters the Future State era as Amanda Waller uses Task Force X to save the world and remake it in her image—but what happens when the team shows up to stop her? And in the second story in this extra-sized issue, Black Adam, the immortal one-time champion of the wizard Shazam, rules the planet Kahndaq in the 853rd century. Can he save the future from a threat rooted in the past?

MORE: Nightwing Is Becoming The Anakin Skywalker of Future State

Exclusive Preview: Suicide Squad & Black Adam Future State from https://ift.tt/3qO4evh

[bluepenguinstories]

Happiness Overload Chapter Sixty

Finally: cotton candy. Held in my hands, stacked high, almost a mile wide. Or maybe like a foot long. Or some odd centimeters (but not the even ones). Such sweet, cottony candy.

“There’s something bittersweet about finality, isn’t there?” I asked the guy at the cafeteria who gave me the cotton candy.

“Dunno what you’re talking about,” he grunted.

I shrugged and told him, “yeah, me either. I mean, it’s bittersweet when things come to an end no matter the outcome. But when it comes to cotton candy, it’s just sweet. That’s why I love it. That, and fruit snacks. Say, which would be better: fruit snack flavored cotton candy or cotton candy flavored fruit snacks?”

“Cotton candy isn’t a fruit. It’s just sugar.”

“Oh yeah. What would you call sugar, anyway? It’s a crop, right? So, is sugar a vegetable? Or a seasoning? Could sugar be considered a spice? But then again, spices are bitter and sugar is sweet.”

“I don’t have time for philosophy. I make food and serve it.”

“That’s fair!” I snapped my fingers. “For me, I can’t even be sad even if I wanted to. My whole cotton candy journey was a long and arduous one. It must have taken the length of two characters’ arcs just to find the cafeteria. Can you believe that?”

He groaned. Jeez, tough crowd. I took a bite out of my cotton candy and the taste was so good that more cotton candy formed from out of the space where I took my bite. As long as eating cotton candy made me happy, I’d get an unlimited amount of cotton candy, which was guaranteed to be unlimited, because being full only made me happy when I felt like being full, and I never got upset stomachs, because it has the word ‘upset’ in it and being upset didn’t make for a happy Blanc.

“Say, what makes you happy?” I asked the cotton candy maker, who I was sure made other food, but everything else paled in comparison to cotton candy. Well, cotton candy paled in comparison to fruit snacks. It’s all relative.

“Making food,” [insert guttural adjective here] the cafeteria worker.

“Great!” I waved finger guns at him. “Then that’s all you’ll be doing for the rest of your life! Hope you at least get a chance to eat what you make, but I don’t make the rules!”

“Yeah,” his face crinkled into a smile. “MAKING FOOD MAKES ME HAPPY!” He bellowed.

I took a bow.

“You’ll do great. I probably won’t see you again. I gotta meet up with a couple of friends, though there’s no telling how long that will take. Then some things will happen. Probably. Happy things I’m sure, because those are the kind of things I like to happen!”

I skipped off, cotton candy in hand, in search of Velvet and Coriander. As much as I wanted to cross their names off of my happiness list (which I never really conjured up, it was more of a mental list. Sure, I could have, but I wasn’t a big fan of work, and writing things down on a piece of paper was just too much work for this human-shaped happiness), something told me that they weren’t quite out of the woods. I put my finger (not the index finger, the happy one (obviously, the pinkie)) on my chin and got to thinking.

“Now, that whole artist thing sure created an ethical dilemma. One that I don’t want to boggle my mind with, but I’m going to have to figure this out one way or another.”

I had to think of that artist. Dr. Katsushika. She didn’t go by that name, at least not often, but that’s what it was. Or that’s what it would be if she went by that name. To be honest, I would have felt bad for Velvet, and doubly bad for Coriander. Sure, there were folks like that in The Flashbulb. Many more than those two faced, but there was only so much time in the void, even if time in the void didn’t quite exist. But I didn’t feel bad for them, because feeling bad wouldn’t have made me feel good. But that would have made me feel bad, if I could feel bad.

All that said, Dr. Katsushika didn’t quite make me feel good either. Retract that. Dr. Katsushika would have made me feel bad, if I could feel bad about anything. She wasn’t what I’d call someone who made others happy. Even if she liked that word almost as much as I did. When it came down to it, she was the ethical dilemma: if dying didn’t make her happy, but it put Coriander at peace, was that OK? On one hand, it was probably better if she had died, but on the other hand...happiness comes first.

“I knew it! I fuckin’ knew it! You can’t make everyone happy!” I stamped my foot. Then my left hand formed a mouth. Y’know, like a hand puppet.

“SURE YOU CAN! BOTH PARTIES DON’T HAVE TO BE HAPPY RIGHT AWAY!” My left hand told me. On the other hand...cotton candy.

Ah, yes. My Left Hand was right. It was all clear now that the pieces would soon come together. I just had to disregard any sort of ethical dilemma, disregard logical conclusions, and let things run their course. That course being a corrected one.

Hey! Would it come off as a surprise to say that I’ve had a hand in everything this whole time? Specifically, My Left Hand. More specifically, Euphy! Maybe a better question was: would it ruin the impact of everything that’s transpired? Hmm...probably. But it wasn’t like it was anything major, really. Euphy’s hands were long and could find their way anywhere. That said, most of my friends’ actions were their own and for the most part, I was hands-off. The best explanation I could give was that I tossed around a few metaphorical breadcrumbs here and there.

So with that out of the way, let’s just say that a few more breadcrumbs were about to snow down like dandruff.

Tick-tock, knick-knack, knock-knock.

Those were the sound effects made once my little bug found the correct door (and no, they were not behind door number three, but game shows really were the pinnacle of television). Of course, neither of them answered. All the better. As far as I figured, neither of them wanted to see me. Especially not the spice rack. Which, given what I put her through, was understandable.

All the same, thanks to all my spare time locked away from all the other Flashbulb employees, I once learned the fine art of lockpicking. Not to say that I could have just broken free of my enclosure any time I wanted to, but I sure was glad I learned the craft all the same. If not, I might not have gotten into their room.

Like a thief in the night (not that there was any sense of day or night in our headquarters), I slipped into their room. To my surprise, they both must have been heavy sleepers. There they were, hand in hand, holding each other close. Like still life models. It brought forth the urge to chuckle, something I had to surprise in order not to get caught. Even asleep, they continued to be an inspiration.

Oh. There would be questions.

“How did you survive? Didn’t I slam you into the floor and kill you?” The outraged, or horrified Coriander (the art formerly known as Mavis) would ask me.

I would smirk all smug, close my eyes, with my index finger (a very smart and astute finger, the one finger who puts the most work into every craft) pointed up, and then tell her:

“Simple: I created an android of myself to pull the strings while I watched in a hidden space. You really should have paid better attention. Not that it would have done you much good, as I had packs of blood stored up in the android set to spill out upon a fall. It’s true: I really do think of everything!”

She would probably yell and/or scream, “I HATE YOU,” and I wouldn’t know what to say to that. I had no smug remark. As far as I was concerned, she had every right to hate me, to wish me dead. Hell, I’d wager that she’d try to kill me all over again.

But alas, I was alive, and I’ve had my fill of both of them. I’ve painted so many paintings, and sent one of my little flies (microscopic robots) to scout out the area and find them for me. All in the span of time that they spent lovemaking. Yes, I knew about that too. But rest assured, I had my fly leave the room as soon as it went in. Say what you will about me, but I respected others’ privacy.

Case in point, I slipped underneath the bed. I was in no rush and the cold, metal floor was really quite comfortable. Those two also had all the time in the world. The problem was that their world didn’t have much time left. That was A-Okay, though. Because I told them I would help them and damn it, I meant it!

It wasn’t like I woke up between a rock and a hard place. In fact, the bed I was on was quite soft, and Coriander’s back was also quite soft. But even still, I felt like I was between an unstoppable force and an unmovable object; the unstoppable force being the comfort of being on a bed, and the unmovable object being my cute girlfriend who was currently asleep on top of me.

Well, if my time awake was time wasted, so be it. I couldn’t be any more satisfied knowing that I held in my arms both the one I loved, and the one who loved me. There was still a world to save, somewhere out there, with however much time it had left, but let’s face it: I was too tired. So I smiled as I stroked her back, then turned my head to fall asleep once more.

Whether sleep was for the weak or I was weak without sleep, one thing was clear: I didn’t get enough of it. Then again, how could I even tell? Trick question, I couldn’t. It was all a wild-ass guess based on how tired I still was. I was so tired that when I lifted my head, I didn’t have the strength to get up all the way, so I lowered my head back down onto Velvet’s chest. Big mistake that was. As soon as I did so, I felt a wet spot on my cheek and for a hazy moment, I thought nothing of it. Until I did. And started to freak out.

“Oh no! That’s drool! I drooled on her boob! She’s always saying I do that and I always say that I don’t do that but I just did! What am I supposed to do?” My words spilled out in a panic. Spilled out like drool. Ew. No. Stop.

I stared down. She was still asleep. I poked her cheek for good measure. Nothing.

“Okay. Good. I can use this to my advantage,” I mumbled. I could get a tissue from the bathroom. Wipe her boob down. Wait. What if that woke her up? Well shit, too late to consider that, I was already up and out of bed.

Ugh. What if she wakes up and notices and points it out and I wouldn’t have anything in my defense! I’d be caught drool handed. Ew. At least I’ll wash my hands.

I got into the bathroom and washed my hands. To my surprise, there was a stack of folded clothes on the counter right next to the sink.

“Was this here before?” I muttered. Well, I was too tired to think about it too hard. Maybe if I was less tired, I could have asked questions like, “is this an automatic feature of The Flashbulb’s technology?” or “was this here this whole time and I just didn’t notice?” and of course, the most important question would have been, “did someone sneak in here?”

But no. Call it stupidity, tiredness, or a lapse in logic, because I just took the clothes and put them on. They fit quite well. Not too tight, not too baggy. Really, if there was any complaint, it was how generic they looked. Plain white shirt and pants. Nothing much else to say. I wasn’t even sure why describing them at all was worth mentioning.

Once I left the room, clothed and cloth in hand, I froze in place. Lucidity took hold and all the thoughts I should have had weighed down on me as I stood face to face with the one I thought I had killed. The same one who put me through such torture.

“You…” I forced the words out. My blood was boiling, but I just couldn’t bring myself to move. “You can’t be here…” I was about to say, “...you aren’t real. You’re not here.” But the rest of my words didn’t come. I closed my eyes.

“Surprise! Bet you thought you’ve seen the last of me!” Her words rang through. No, there was no mistake: it was her.

I opened my eyes and looked around for something to use as a weapon. Not that it would have done me much good. I should have just kicked her face in and whaled on her, but for whatever reason, I couldn’t bring myself to do it. Worse yet, I started to tremble where I stood.

“Really, this wasn’t how I expected our meeting to go down. I wanted to wait until both of you were awake, but maaaan, that Velvet is one heavy sleeper! You’re welcome for the clothes, by the way. Did you know that I’m quite the seamstress? Quite the tailor? It’s true! Just one of the many art forms I’ve learned throughout the years!”

I growled. That was all I could bring myself to do. I wanted to lose all control and beat her to a bloody pulp. I should have been allowed that after all that was done to me. She shouldn’t have been alive, she should have been dead. All the pain, everything she caused, and there she stood, without so much as a scratch.

“Huh? What’s going on?” Came a voice beside me. Hoarse and droned, but unmistakably Velvet’s. I looked over and when she saw who was there, she too got on the defensive.

“You! How...how did you get in here? For that matter, how are you alive?” Her voice changed to that of more serious and harsh in tone.

“Finally!” Dr. Popsicle grinned. “I’ve been waiting for someone to ask that! It’s simple, really, I –” The mad artist never got the chance to finish. Velvet shut her down quick.

“You know what? I really don’t care. It doesn’t matter how you’re still alive, but I won’t forgive you for what you’ve done to me or my girlfriend. So I’ll make sure to kill you this time.”

“Your girlfriend? Oh, congrats! You made it official!” Popsigirl chuckled. I managed to break free of whatever mental restraints were placed on my physical being. I began to charge at her and gave her a swift kick in the shin.

She seethed, but even in pain, managed to keep a smile. “Right...I deserve that,” she winced.

“Velvet!” I yelled. “Grab something to throw at her! No mercy!”

She gave me a nod in response and felt around, then grabbed a knife. Blessed. I continued the beat down as I shoved the artist to the floor and began to kick her repeatedly.

“I’ll kill you!” I yelled. After a few kicks, sure to at least bruise up her sides, she put a hand up in the air.

“Wait! Wait!”

I didn’t want to wait. How dare she tell me that?!

“You guys can kill me if you want, but you might want to think it over!”

“What?!” I stopped for whatever reason.

“OK. So. Imagine: you kill me, I’m on the floor. My body rots. The smell gets real bad. Either someone notices my body, ups the security and finds out who killed me, or, let’s say hypothetically, you manage to defeat the whole Flashbulb, which I can’t imagine you guys doing without my help. You’ll probably have to kill many others along the way, too, of course. All of those bodies, that smell, it all tends to add up. If you’re going to be stuck here for the rest of your lives, is that really what you want to walk around smelling all the time?”

Such drivel. As if she really believed she could weasel her way out with some loose logic that anyone could poke a hole into.

“Of course,” she went on. “You could dispose of the bodies. The question is, where and how.”

“Enough,” Velvet interrupted once again. “First off, what is this wet spot on my chest?”

Really? You’re really going to focus on that when we have more important things to worry about? Even still, I guess it would be bad on my part if I told her it was drool.

“It’s probably sweat. We were going at it pretty rough,” I told her.

“Ah, that makes sense,” Velvet replied, and I was saved.

“Don’t worry, I didn’t watch!” Popsigirl chimed in, much to my disgust.

“Second off!” Velvet hushed the intruder. Although I suppose as a whole, Velvet and I were the intruders. “Bold of you to assume I have a problem with the stench of death. Sure, I’d probably vomit every time I passed by a dead body, but I’d rather make that sacrifice than know someone like you would still be around to hurt the one I love.”

“Oof. Well, you raise a find argument. Some sacrifices may be necessary, after all. Gee, I’m getting a kick out of discussing these things with you! We could have some really creative debates!”

“Screw that,” Velvet spat. “It’s bold of you to even be in our presence right now!”

“That it is!” The art fanatic proclaimed. “And you two have every right to hate me.”

“Good, because we do,” I found my voice once more. Velvet nodded along.

“But even if that’s the case, I’d like to make it up to you guys. The way I see it, neither of you have much time left before your version of Earth is kaput. And if you just flail around the headquarters randomly, you’re never going to save anything. Hard truths, y’know?”

“Here’s a hard truth: you can’t make it up to us. I can only speak for myself, but even if it takes longer, even if I fail, I don’t want to stoop so low as to accept help from someone like you. Besides, you’ve already claimed to want to help us before, and I remember all too well how that went.”

Both of us were on the same page, but I started to feel a little mixed about it all. The whole reason I wanted to get to the headquarters was to exact revenge on the ones who made me who I was. Yes, I knew that the world was ending, but that wasn’t my main reason. But I knew there were better reasons to defeat them besides revenge, which Velvet had those better reasons, and yet she was willing to sacrifice them for my sake. Not only did I not deserve that, but if we had a chance…

No. I knew better than to think about that. The one in front of us was the one who had traumatized me, used both Velvet and I for her amusement. We had no reason to trust that someone like that could help us, and even if she could, I didn’t want to be in her presence. It hurt so much just to stand there. Worse, I was wearing clothes that she had made for me. Total red flags right there.

“I...I feel sick,” I said at last. “I’m going back into the bathroom.”

“What about dealing with the other person in the room?” Velvet pleaded.

Really, what about it?

“I trust you to make a decision,” I replied.

“But I don’t want to make a decision without you!” She called for me, but I already closed the door. I sounded so bitter even though I knew I wasn’t mad at Velvet. I just didn’t know what else to do. So I locked myself in until I felt safe enough to come back out.

Gee, things were going to be harder than I thought. Well, according to the ancient art of boxing, “sometimes you just gotta roll with the punches.” So that’s just what I did: I reached into my shirt and pulled out a pile of clothes. Voila! I threw them at Velvet and got into my most Serious Person impression.

“Put these on. You’re not modeling for one of my drawings, and besides, you two don’t wanna be running around the headquarters naked,” I commanded.

“I bet you have it rigged so the clothes have some kind of mind control or body control thing, or it’s got some explosives attached, or there’s tracking devices, or –”

“All good ideas,” I stopped Velvet from listing other things. “See? Even now you give me such good ideas! But no: they’re just clothes.”

She eyed me, but gave in all the same. As she did so, I decided to sit on the floor. Not to worry, it wasn’t to better enjoy the view, I just figured the floor was a good place to be. Once she was all dressed, I got back to business.

“Now, I don’t doubt your guys’ resilience, you two displayed it quite well back there,” I chuckled. “But as I said, you can’t just run around and hope for the best. That’s even worse than how others have tried to overthrow us in the past, and their organized efforts didn’t pan out well. Do you know why?”

She said nothing, but continued to glare.

“It’s because everyone could see them coming, so just as the groups were prepared, so too was the company. Which meant they could hire all the guards, janitors, death squads, you name it. Traps and gadgets, weaponry beyond your comprehension. No offense, of course, but the only thing you two got going for you is that no one sees you as a threat. Sure, you had guards after you, and they saw you as intruders, but after you fell down and into my domain, everyone just walked on and figured I killed you guys.”

Still no response. Well, I had more to say, so good.

“But really, it’s a matter of time. The more it seems you have a chance of winning, the less of a chance you actually have. I mean, you don’t think there’s cameras in this room? And listening devices? You’re lucky I’ve disabled them, but still, there’s bound to be other cases where such things weren’t disabled, and you two were caught sneaking in a room or two. Hmm?”

“I get that evil monologues are what you guys are good at, but can you just get to your point?” At last! Velvet spoke! Hurrah!

“What you guys need to do is simple: just run up to the front of the ship, say that it’s been taken over, and do so before your guys’ world is destroyed. Easy enough, right?” I may have skipped a few steps in my head, but she did want me to get to the point, so really, that was on her.

“How did you get to that conclusion?” Velvet sounded baffled as all heck, which was baffling to me, to be baffled at all.

“Because I’ll take care of the rest! See, once you get up to the ship, either they don’t take you seriously at all, or they see you as an actual threat, and if it’s the latter, they’re going to want to throw everything at you. But if they can’t get a signal to contact any guards or anything, they won’t have anything to throw at you. Meanwhile, I’ll be organizing various Flashbulb members to revolt and we’ll open up portals and kick the guards into those. It’s really funny that we had a Morale Department seeing as worker morale here isn’t very high.”

“I see. And the guards won’t overpower the workers because…? I doubt the ones in front care all that much about killing their own in order to maintain power.”

“Ah! Yes! Power! See? That’s something I didn’t think about! Aren’t I glad I have you around?”

She growled. Sheesh, I expected that from the other one, not the velvety person.

“The Flashbulb’s hierarchy goes as follows: the workers, the scientists in the departments, and then the Grandmaster Flash. Everyone answers to Grandmaster Flash, except I’ll let you in on a little secret: there is no Grandmaster Flash. There never has been a Grandmaster Flash.”

“So what? It’s a conspiracy within an organization shrouded in conspiracy theories?”

I snapped my fingers. “Bingo! But also, it’s not the wisest of decisions! See, it was born from a rumor spread by those at the front of the headquarters. Apparently they got together and wanted to get out of work, so told the other departments something like, ‘Grandmaster Flash says I don’t have to do anything.’ At first, the others must have been confused, but as the rumor spread, the ones at the front cleared up the manner by saying, ‘Grandmaster Flash is secretive and makes all of the decisions. Maybe if one of your departments is really good, you will be recognized and one of you will become the next Grandmaster Flash.’ But yeah, it’s a con to keep everyone working hard and to allow the ones at the front to do whatever they want!”

Her eyes widened. Good. She was catching on.

“So basically, if we want to defeat them, we just gotta get them to admit that there’s no leader?”

...Swing and a miss. I rolled on the floor.

“No, silly! Instead, just say ‘we’ve taken out your leader’ or something. That will make them take you guys a little more seriously. And then, when they call for backup and nothing comes, bingo! You’ll have them pissing their pants and I’ll be laughing at them from afar!”

“That still sounds really far-fetched and way too convenient. And besides, how can we even trust you to follow through on your end and do all those things?”

“Good point! You can’t trust me! For all you know, I could rat you guys out and watch your downfall! That’s the poetic nature of all this! Such revolutions like this really are a work of art!”

Velvet shook her head. “This doesn’t sound good, no matter how hard you explain. The fact that you’re even alive…”

“Yeah, yeah, I know,” I sighed. “You want me rolling in my grave instead of on the floor, which, there are no graves here, so why would I be?”

“You did all those things, unrepentant –”

“What can I say? An artist should never apologize for their art.”

“Good,” Velvet crossed her arms. “Because here’s another hard truth: I will never forgive you. No one is obligated to forgive you for the things that you’ve done to them and the sooner you learn that, the easier life will be.”

“Duly noted. But don’t you worry! You don’t have to actively work with me or anything. Just run to the front and say that you’re overthrowing the whole organization, and I’ll do the rest.”

“You say that, but…”

“...Or...you two can run around naked and get killed a horrible death and fail miserably in your mission. Choice is yours, really.”

“I don’t want to do this. If I do, it will feel like I’ve gone against Coriander. If I can find another way, with her, I will.”

As she said that, the one and only spice girl (in the void. Not to discount the infinite amount of spice girls out there across an infinite amount of universes. Also not to discount the infinite amount of Spice Girls, either. I was particularly fond of the version of them where they put out an EDM Folk Death Metal album. Truly ahead of their time) stepped out of the bathroom.

“Let’s just do it, Velvet,” Coriander announced in a dull and lifeless tone. “If there’s more of a chance with this, I’d rather go with it.”

I put my hand on my chest and smiled. So it seems I was forgiven after all! Good! Even though when I looked over at Coriander, her face looked like it was filled with hate and sadness, but I’d take what I could get.

“Now!” I took one good look at the both of them. “Before you two start running off, perhaps you’d like to know how much time you have left.”

“Don’t we have plenty of time, though?” Velvet objected. “Seeing as time doesn’t flow the same here, plus all those time travel devices. I think we’re allowed to take our time, given all that.”

“You’re going to apply logic to a sci-fi setting? What’s wrong with you?” I countered. “I’m sure you can understand how things work if you think about it for more than a few seconds.”

Velvet groaned, Coriander grunted. They must have understood once I said that: time still flowed down on their version on Earth, and maybe even at a faster rate than in here.

“For all you know, your Earth could already be destroyed,” I added. “And you can turn back time, that would just make an alternate Earth, which means there would already be a Velvet occupying there, and…”

“Okay, okay, I get it,” Velvet grit her teeth.

“So in order to figure out how things are going down there, I’ll send my little bug to see if there’s anyone I can talk to! That way I can confirm that there’s at least some people still alive, and that they can tell me what the situation’s like!”

I put a little earbud in my ear, then sent one of my little bugs out from my pocket and watched as it warped away, using a built in fragment of a time cube, and waited until it found someone. After a little while, I heard the bug beep. That was my cue.

“Hey! Is anyone still alive on this planet?!” I yelled, as I had no idea how loud I should have been.

“Oh, just little old me,” a voice on the other end came up. I just about jumped for joy! There was life! And with a pleasant voice like that person’s (a soothing mix of baritone, treble, and alto), it seemed like my two muses were in luck.

“Hi there! Yes! This little thing I sent down was one of my art projects! Good to see it was a success!” My heart was racing so fast I could have entered it in a horse race, except hearts weren’t horses. Not unless you did some genetic experimentation, but that was neither here nor there.

“If only I got to hear this conversation from your memories,” he crooned. It really got me thinking: did he know who I was already? Well, I didn’t even know if the voice was a ‘he’, but I just figured such a disembodied voice being a ‘he’ would have been a nice thought, and then I started thinking about how I might have gone about drawing that. Oh, but I was getting distracted once again.

“Then I could see who you are and what your motive was. I could even taste you, just a little,” ‘he’ continued. While some may have found that to be just a bit creepy, I imagined ‘he’ must have thought of me to be a mix of paints.

“Yes! That would be so artistic! Maybe it could mix together at once like a collage!” My excitement might have been showing a little too much. Restraint, too, was an art.

“Where did you send this little bug down from?” ‘He’ asked, which seemed obvious enough to me where I sent it from. Maybe obvious to ‘him’ as well, if ‘he’ called my art project a ‘little bug.’

“I think you know already!” I replied, still with as much cheer as before. Restraint never was my strong suit.

There was a pause before either of us said anything else, so maybe I should have just cut to the chase.

“Are you really the only one left?” I asked. “How’s the situation on Earth?”

The voice on the other end came in once more:

“There were many booties a clappin’,” spoken in a sing-song voice. “But yes, I may be the only one left. There might be a few others. Not sure. Probably won’t last long, though. I’d give it...what? A few more months? A year? Then everything, so happy it could all die.”

“Oh, that sounds so beautiful!” I would’ve been this person’s biggest fan had I been down on that version of Earth and in that specific period in time. “Say it again!”

“It does, doesn’t it?” My next source of inspiration agreed.

“But! And this is a big but!” I had to get myself back on track, else I’d be in awe the entire conversation.

“...You cannot lie?”

“I can’t! One of the greatest artistic achievements! Aha! I am among a true scholar! Oh! But I didn’t go on! See, I’ve got a couple of muses with me who would like to possibly save Earth. Think there’s any way they can do that?”

“Let’s say I could pull a few strings. Buy some time.”

“Great!”

“But, and this is a big booty, I can only delay it for so long. If your pals can’t do anything soon, then I’m afraid my hands are tied.”

“Sounds good! I’ll let them know! They’ll be so excited! Hold on just a sec!”

I put my hand over my ear and said to Velvet and Coriander.

“So someone on Earth says you’ve got time, and could even buy you guys some more time! Isn’t that great!?”

Whether they were excited or my imagination was telling them that they were, I was excited enough just to tell them the good news. Then I uncovered my hand and spoke once more to the jolly fellow.

“Hey! Hey! I’m still here, are you?”

“Indeed, good friend. I have a feeling you and I would get along quite well. Which means I would probably not get along with you at all. But if only I could have found out.” Gee, what a friendly person. Like a star-crossed friend that I never would have met, because if there was anywhere on Earth I’d have wanted to go, it would have been back in Japan, with my father.

“That’s okay! There’s artistic merit in mystery! Leaves some for the imagination!” I assured the good-natured spirit.

“Well, before you depart, I just want to ask a favor of you.”

“Sure!”

“If you could give me an audience, that would be great. I think I’m done being in the shadows. It’s gotten quite boring. So, I would like it if I could speak with others.”

I thought about it. I could already do quite a bit with disabling communications, so opening up a line of communication didn’t seem too hard, either.

“Not a problem!” I assured ‘him’.

‘He’ laughed hysterics. “It’s good to know I had your permission, given I already had the ability to do so.”

“Oh, you sly devil!”

Then, without so much as a good-bye (although I’ve had worse phone conversations), my little bug left and within a few moments, had returned to me.

With that out of the way, I took the earbud out and grinned.

“So basically, you’re already pretty close to the front of the headquarters! I suggest you get going, because it’s hard to tell how long you guys have even after all that! All I can tell you is that there is still hope!”

Velvet and Coriander looked at each other, put on their shoes, then were about to get going. But before Velvet left the room, she turned to me.

“Why are you doing this?” She asked.

I shrugged my shoulders. “I just started thinking that even though art has been my life ever since I was a child, if I have to hurt others to make art, then maybe I should find a different path.”

“That’s good, but that still doesn’t absolve anything you’ve done,” she spoke in a low tone.

“I wouldn’t count on it!” I grinned.

“Maybe the right question I should be asking is this: just who were you before you joined The Flashbulb?”

I shrugged once again. I wasn’t good at being concise, but I’d try.

“Also an artist. Someone’s daughter. Something like that. Hey, I have a favor to ask you and you don’t have to accept, but I just thought of it!”

“Yes?”

“If you ever figure out who I was on Earth, please don’t think of the other versions of me as evil. My actions are my own.”

Velvet nodded. I wasn’t sure if that was her agreeing to my favor or not, but both Velvet and Coriander left at that, without so much as another word. I looked out the door and watched the two run off, then I went back in. It was time for me to do what I did best.

[thanksjro]

Eugenesis, Part Six Scene Four: Xenon Info-Dumps For Five-And-A-Half Pages

Alright, back to bullshit.

Galvatron is being a rude little turd to Xenon, calling his robot collection old and dusty, but Xenon’s too wrapped up in the Quintesson/Cybertronian lore to be bothered. Ultra Magnus just wants to know what the fuck he’s done with the Matrix.

You heard the man, out with it.

So, back when the Quintessons first started out, they were known as the Progenitors- yeah, I know- a quasi-organic race who went from caveman-level intelligence to full-blown hard sci-fi sons of guns at an incredibly rapid rate.  

Problem is, they didn’t get any further than that. They tried, sure. They tried real hard, for millions of years. Then, once their inspiration had run out, they started looking to other races to try and figure something out.

This just in, god is dead and James Roberts killed him by turning him into a glorified OS.

So, P.R.I.M.U.S. is encoded onto these geodes, and they become sentient. Sometimes they think they’re god.

Just like everyone else in this story.

Now that the Quintessons knew about these little god-doodads, they wanted one for themselves, to try and reverse-engineer the secret to immortality. They hired some guys called the Weavers to nab one for them.

This is some serious nerd shit, y’all. Galvatron agrees with me- he’s never even heard of any of the things Xenon’s droning on about. Neither have I- this is all Roberts at this point.

The Weavers brought back two geodes to the Quintessons, who promptly hid them away until the Masters cooled off a bit, since they were a little miffed about the thievery and whatnot. Then they noticed a couple problems: A) the geodes were encrypted to the moon and back, and B) if you so much as looked at the thing wrong it would purge the Lifecode completely.

Didn’t Optimus throw this thing at Unicron a couple times? Maybe the geode just doesn’t like you, Xenon, ever thought of that?

In order to decode the geodes, the Quintessons needed massive computers. Y’know, like God. But before they could really get a head start on that, the Masters’ nanobot enforcers showed up, blocking out the sky like a giant swarm of angry wasps. They wrecked shopped on Quintyxia- the old one, not the new one- and the Quintessons ran for it. They headed for the planet where they’d buried the other geode, but something went wrong with their hyperspace drive, and they didn’t arrive until two million years after they’d set off.

They dug for the geode, hit something metal, and that’s when the quakes started. The Quintessons left, thinking the planet was unstable.

At this point, Magnus is begging Xenon to just get on with it.

The Quintessons headed back to Quintyxia, to find that their lush, green world had been turned into one made of metal. Cybertron. Quintyxia is Cybertron. New Quintyxia is Quintyxia. It’s like that time Prince named himself the Artist Formerly Known As Prince.

Of course that leaves the question of why the nanobots didn’t just destroy the planet instead of… doing whatever they did to make Cybertron Cybertron.

So, Cybertron is a planet-sized computer, tasked with the sole purpose of decoding the meaning of life.

You know, I remember reading somewhere- and don’t quote me on this, because I can’t for the life of me remember where exactly- that Roberts has never read The Hitchhiker’s Guide to the Galaxy. Now, either he’s lying- which I don’t know why he would, the guy loves references- or this is just a weird thing the collective brain of the English population does, where they all jump to the same ideas in absurdist sci-fi.

When the Quintessons showed up on Cybertron, they were met with the results of the cracked Lifecode- the first Transformers (but they couldn’t transform, that was a thing that developed alongside the war.) They couldn’t do much of anything, really.

Well, now we know where the protoform babies in IDW come from.

The Quintessons, not ones to squander an opportunity, decide to use these fragile, helpless proto-beings as slaves.

Yeah, the Quintessons have kind of been the worst since day one.

They build brain modules, stick them in the ground- Seedlings, Xenon calls them- and watch as the planet wrapped living metal around them and built bodies.  

The Quintessons get pretty good at making the Auto-Bots, and get to a point where they’re drafting up blueprints for each solitary one. Blueprints that Xenon apparently kept, since he’s got all these copies in the pods right now.

If you couldn’t tell already, we’re going with the “the Quintessons made the Transformers” creation myth.

Of course, you make a big enough species, they’re going to need some corralling- that is, if you want to be an awful, controlling, overbearing parent. And the Quintessons definitely wanted that. So, what’s one to do?

…Look, it’s not that I necessarily disagree on a base level, but-

Xenon, you fucking neckbeard.

Because the Quintessons forgot that religion is not a one-set-outcome game, they were surprised to find that it had given their creations hope and will, things you really don’t want your enslaved masses to have.

The Covenant drove off the Quintessons, then fucked off into deep space to spread the message of Primus, with Maximo at the head of things. Maximo was the leader of the Cybertronian Empire and Megatron’s progenitor in the Marvel UK comics. They did leave someone behind to keep the masses within the faith- Primon. He’s important in the comics, just trust me on that.

Oh man, we’re finally getting some answers.

Xenon admits that the Quintessons didn’t come up with everything; there were parts that they just straight-up ripped out of the geode’s owner’s manual.

Oh. Well. That’s… underwhelming. Xenon’s really just dumping the entirety of the Cybertronian religion into the trash at this point, isn’t he? This info-dump has been going on for five pages, and we still aren’t done.

Turns out that kill switch code was pulled from the geode too- 4/11.002983712 is its serial number. That’s like if you called your dad by his first name and then immediately died afterwords.

But whatever happened to that second geode the Quintessons buried on the other planet?

Yeah, that turned into Unicron.

Turns out the virus that wipes the Lifecode from the geode messed up, and made the geode want to kill literally everything in the universe just for being alive.  

Well, isn’t that all just fine and dandy~!

Because the Quintessons didn’t realize what Unicron’s whole deal was at first- the vore-planet had learned how to lie at some point before they met up- they worked together for a time.

At this point the Quintessons had gone from being quasi-organic to something more cybernetically-dependent, so that might have also made things a little difficult in the baby-making department. Or not. I don’t fucking know, things are just happening at this point.

MOTHERFUCKER DO YOU KNOW WHAT BOOK YOU’RE IN

THERE WILL BE NO HAPPY ANYTHING

Storytime’s over, back to the present day. Xenon’s going to take these podded robots and populate New Quintyxia with them. They won’t fight, they’ll be actual, normal people who don’t wage war.

Xenon must have gotten some new glasses, because that’s one hell of a rose-tinted worldview he’s got there.

Ultra Magnus at this point just asks for the Matrix back so they can go home. Xenon says “nah, but check this out tho” and powers on the pod-bots.

Xenon, that’s gross. Don’t make Galvatron and Magnus watch you be weird with the power of granting life, man.

All the robots wake up, stand, and stare up at Xenon, who’s floated up to the ceiling on his power trip. They… aren’t supposed to do that.

Turns out the Matrix is a friggin’ liar, and only promised power because it’s actually Unicron in there. Well, damn.

Galvatron shoots Xenon. Good.

Shoulda sprung for the waterproofing on your Uggs, Mags.

Galvatron’s on a roll, now. He aims at one of the zombies and fires, and they all go down, thanks to their interlinked minds. Crisis averted, I guess.

Magnus, though not happy with Galvatron’s wanton destruction of innocents, has bigger fish to fry at present; he’s convinced that the Matrix is still inside God. Boy oh boy, is he wrong, but the narrative demands he at least tries. He sticks his hand into the computer, up to the shoulder. That’s not good heavy-duty machinery safety.

Well, shit. He’s been possessed by a higher power.

You know, now that I think about it, there’s a good chance that Xenon putting the Matrix into God messed up the killswitch code, and that’s why Prowl had to use a wasting disease to try and end it all. Not really relevant at this exact moment in the story, just a thought I had.

Galvatron, having had enough mystical bullshit for one day, shoots his arm clean off, severing the connection. Magnus drops like a stone, and Galvatron bolts as everything starts coming down around them.

Oh no, Magnus is gonna be our first victim, isn’t he?

Magnus follows after Galvatron, leaving his arm. Hope he doesn’t run into any aqua fortis on the way back to the Trident, because his Pretender shell is beat all to hell.

Then Xenon pulls himself together and stops being dead.

Sigh.

This was ONE section.

[thenightling]

My top thirteen favorite individual Sandman issues (Opinion)

Keep reading below...

Warning: Contains some spoilers.

13.  The Sandman Special 1: Song of Orpheus.

The Song of Orpheus is a backstory revealing Morpheus’ falling out with his son Orpheus and the slight revisions Neil Gaiman made to the classic Greek myth of Orpheus visiting The Underworld to try to retrieve his wife.  

In The Sandman, Morpheus is Orpheus’ estranged father.  I love the character of Morpheus but I’ll put it bluntly right here and now.  He used to be an asshole.  He may have even been easy to brand as a villain during his backstory.   

Much of The Sandman is Morpheus’s redemption, setting right the terrible wrongs of his past.   And in Brief lives he is forced to face the sins of his past in regard to how he treated his son.  But here is where we get that tragic backstory and a raw, cold taste of what a jerk Morpheus used to be as a contrast to how much he grows later.     

12.   Sound of her Wings  (The Sandman issue 8)

The Sound of Her wings is the issue of The Sandman that introduces us to Death of The Endless, Dream’s older sister (though she looks younger).  Today she is the official living embodiment of Death for all of DC comics.    Though I have to confess the main reason I like this one is how adorkable Morpheus is when he’s feeding birds.   And that happy expression on his face at the end of the issue. You don’t see that too often with him.   

11.  Calliope (The Sandman Issue 17)  

Just as Song of Orpheus shows us the assholary of Morpheus’ past, Calliope shows us just how much he has changed.   The story is brutal and difficult to read but you also get to see Morpheus as an avenging angel figure, saving his ex-wife from an abusive master who sees her as something less than human.

Poor Calliope was captured and enslaved by mortals who have abused her in the most sadistic and insidious ways.  It’s not just a man abusing a woman (that’s bad enough) but you also see a dehumanization.  The writer currently exploiting and abusing poor Calliope has thought processes along the lines of “It would be wrong if she was a real woman.” 

The fact that she is a muse- a supernatural entity- causes him to treat her as something less than a human being. This is actually a recurrence in The Sandman as we also saw how inhumanely Morpheus’ own captors treated him. 

What happens to Calliope is a chilling display of the inhumanity that could also be an allegory for casual misogyny and to a certain extent, even racism.   The cruelty is such that it’s hard to feel sympathy when Morpheus unleashes his anger on Calliope’s abuser.         

This is also the first time we almost see Morpheus apologize to someone for his previous behavior but he doesn’t actually start doing that until The Season of Mists.

10.   Soft Places   (The Sandman Issue 39)   

Soft Places is a story that can be read at nearly any point in The Sandman.  What I like most about this issue is if you pay careful attention you realize that when Morpheus makes his appearance in this story he is actually between issues 1 and 2 of The Sandman.  He was on his way back to the castle, weakened from his long captivity.  And Marco Polo (lost in time and space) shows him pity and compassion and offers him his water.  For this reason Morpheus helps him to get back home.  

Morpheus sacrifices the last of his own strength to do this, leaving himself at the indefinite mercy of The Soft Place.   Thankfully Gregory (the rather dog-like Gargoyle) finds him and takes him home to his master, Cain at The House of Mystery.

Not only did this give a satisfying story between the first two issues but also teased an what was yet to come and what was happening “Off camera” after the events of A Game of you.   

9.   The Wake: Epilogue: Sunday Morning (The Sandman issue 73) 

I always liked Hob Gadling (Morpheus’ immortal / formerly human) friend.   Here we get a brief story about Robert  “Hob” Gadling.  He also tells about a dream he had and he is given the chance to die but (as always) chooses against it.

Hob’s indefinite life may have actually secured Morpheus’ own posthumous existence as a Dream Entity.   The dream Hob had in this story was of Morpheus (after his death) and Destruction of The Endless.   Here’s the thing though.  At the time Hob had this dream Destruction really was visiting The Dreaming.  And Hob had no idea what connection Destruction had with his deceased friend.  He only knew Destruction as a street artist he had seen once. 

The implication I get here is that Daniel brought Morpheus back as a dream entity.  And with someone like Hob there to potentially dream of him eternally that secures Morpheus’ post-humous existance and freedom from having to be Dream of The Endless for all eternity.   This is how I choose to interpret it.   Call me a dreamer. ;-) 

The artwork is also gorgeous in all of The Wake.  

8.    Midsummer Night’s Dream (The Sandman issue 19)

A Midsummer Night’s Dream happens to be my favorite Shakespearean play so this was a real treat.   We got a fun story and a dark yet also delightfully wicked version of Robin Goodfellow (Puck).  And we got a loving nod to Shakespearean history.  

Morpheus has Shakspeare perform the A Midsummer Night’s Dream play for the real faery court.  And all sort of things happen as well.

If you pay attention you notice Titania tempts Shakespeare’s little son. She also lures him to eat faery fruit.  And anyone who knows faery lore knows what that mean.  She has laid claim to the boy.   He will become a faery and belong to her. And that is a nice, bitter-sweet way of addressing the loss of Shakespeare’s little boy.

The story also has one of the most unforgettable Sandman quotes.   “Tales and dreams are the shadow truths that will endure when mere facts are dust and ash, and forgot.” 

7.   Overture Part 6 (The Sandman Overture Part 6)

I love The Sandman: Overture with all my heart.   And it was difficult to pick a specific issue of it to be a favorite.   I chose part 6 because this is the moment where Dream, Desire, and Hope save the universe.   The metaphor is brilliantly obvious.  

The artwork is gorgeous.  And we get to see both Dream and Desire be heroes (”just for one day.”)

You also get to see exactly what happened to Morpheus right before his capture in The Sandman: Preludes and Nocturnes.  

6.   The Doll’s House Part 4: Men of Good Fortune. (The Sandman issue 13)

I mentioned before that I love Hob Gadling.  This is the story that introduced us to him. Not only do we get the backstory of Morpheus’ immortal friend but we also get to see our proud antagonist finally swallow his pride and admit that yes, he has a friend.   It’s one of the sweetest issues of The Sandman while also showing how people (in general) don’t really change.  Individuals might but human beings are still human beings and the complaints of the thirteenth century are eerily similar to the complaints of the late twentieth century. This story is also the first time (I think) we see Morpheus say his indignant “You dare?”   

5.  The Parliament of Rooks (The Sandman Issue 40)

This is a fun issue.  Baby Daniel lucid dreams his way to The House of Secrets where  Eve, Cain, and Abel tell stories to him.  Eve tells her own “three-in-one” tale and Abel introduces us to the concept of “Lil Endless.”    

4.   Season of Mists Part 2. (The Sandman issue 23)

This was a great issue.  After all the build up of Morpheus planning to return to Hell to rescue Nada (whom he wrongfully left there ten-thousand-years before) and the fear and dread involved with going back there we find out that Lucifer has quit.   

Lucifer explains to Morpheus why he’s shutting down Hell (Dialogue adapted by the Lucifer TV series for a conversation between Lucifer and Linda). He the asks Morpheus to help him cut off his own wings and finally Lucifer leave Morpheus with the key to Hell.  

Now poor Morpheus must figure out what to do with the abandoned dimension and deal with the various Gods, goddesses and creatures of mythology and folklore who have come to try to lay claim to it.  

3.   Sleep of The Just (The Sandman issue 1)

This is the very first issue of The Sandman and it was very different from the first issue of any other comic book I had ever read before.   A LOT happened here.  Where most comic book writers would have taken this story told in this issue and stretched it out for twelve issues, this was concise and brilliantly written.

The Order of Ancient Mysteries, lead by Roderick Burgess, summon and trap Morpheus AKA Dream of The Endless.   They were trying to summon his sister, Death, but got him by mistake.   He is held prisoner for seventy-two-years before finally escaping and seeking revenge on his captor.  

What I like most about this issue is that the story really ropes you in and the internal artwork reminds me of a classic horror comic, something I really appreciated.

2.  A hope in Hell (The Sandman Issue 4)

This is The Sandman issue where I truly realized I was reading something utterly different.  When I first started reading The Sandman it was mostly to learn Lucifer’s comic book back story but I fast got hooked on THIS story and forgot all about Luci. 

I must confess that though I am a life-long comic book reader I have a habit of skimming or out right skipping most combat scenes.  I find them boring and often over the top.   (I was a teenager in the 90s and early 2000s and got burnt out on over-the-top action scenes a long time ago).  So I fully anticipated having to skim over certain parts of The Sandman.

However...

It was when I got to “the battle” in A Hope in Hell that I finally let my guard down and realized this was something completely different.  This was never going to be like any other comic I had ever read.  There would be no giant factory explosions or characters punching each other on busy center-fold pages full of sound effects and fire.   

When I got the line “I am hope.” I finally let my guard down and understood the real magick in what I was reading.  That was the moment I fell in love with The Sandman. 

 Also I love David Bowie.

1.  Imperfect Hosts (The Sandman issue 2).   

As you may have guessed A hope in Hell PROBABLY should be at number 1 on this list but I have a soft spot for Imperfect Hosts for what a delightful surprise it was for me.

I love Gothic Horror.  I grew up loving anthology horror like Tales from the crypt.   Imagine my surprise to discover The Sandman’s minion “Nightmares” entailed old school horror hosts.  Even Destiny of The Endless, the mad mod witch (The Fashion Thing) ,The Hecatae, and Lucien The Librarian were all old horror hosts. 

To see someone like the Crypt Keeper-esque Cain taking care of the weakened Dream Lord was a treat for me.   I also noticed the loving homages to horror comics artist Bernie Wrightson. 

Bernie Wrightson holds a special place in my heart because many years ago my mother gave me a large coloring book signed by Bernie Wrightson.  I didn’t recongize the name but she recongized his style as something I like.  And she was right.   It turned out I already had several books that had been drawn by him but had never checked the name.   I have long since lost that coloring book... and my mother...   But Bernie was a reminder of how well she sometimes knew me.  And this issue reminded me of Bernie Wrightson and so reminded me of her.  So Imperfect Hosts had to take the number 1 spot.   

It also introduced us to the adorable baby Goldie.

[three-houses-text-files]

leonie/raphael

c-a support + paired ending

c

Raphael: Hey, Leonie! Are you just getting back? Whoa! What's with the bag? It's huge! Leonie: Oh, this? Ha... I thought I'd get all my chores done at once. Guess it got a little out of hand. L: Sorry to be a pain, but could you help me out? R: I’m happy to help! Where'd you go to get all this stuff? L: Well, first it was just the cloth scraps from the tailor, and then it was the used oil from a restaurant in town... L: After that, it was the books the scholars didn't know what to do with. I mean, that was just on the way. R: Whoa. It sounds like you did a lot of running around today. L: It wasn't so bad! I just figured it would save time if I did it all in one trip. R: You planned all that out? Impressive! R: What are you gonna do with all the stuff you got? L: The scraps will be good for dish cloths, and I can make soap from the oil. The books are just to help with my studies. R: You really can't let anything go to waste, can you? L: Nope. Can't stand the idea. R: Who knew you were so thoughtful! I mean, with actual thinking ahead. R: You’re so generous to everyone and always making me food. I never knew how much thought you must put into it! L: I cook to relax. And it's nice seeing how enthusiastic you get about eating what I make. L: Whatever I give away is just the stuff that isn't useful to me. I pick up all sorts of things when I'm in town. L: Giving things like that to people who need them, or who can actually use them, makes sure they aren't wasted. R: That makes sense. You've gotta use up the stuff you've got, after all. R: Hey, do you think you're like this because you didn't have much growing up? L: I guess times were tough, now that you mention it. The folks in my village definitely aren't rich. L: My dad had to go through a lot of trouble to get the recommendations I needed to attend the academy. L: That doesn't mean I've grown up to be stingy. It just means I don't like to squander. L: Anyway, enough of that. It's in poor taste to go on about your own hardships. L: I've always got time for a meal with a friend. And it so happens I picked up some choice meat today. Why don't we share it? R: Now you're speaking my language!

——————————————————————————————

b

L: Oh, it's Raphael. What's he doing at that desk? R: … L: Hey! Are you studying? I thought you'd given up on it. Nice to see you're... R: Waaaugh! L: What the?! R: Oh! Leonie! L: What's wrong? Why are you crying? R: I-I just got a thank you letter from my little sister! L: OK, maybe start from the beginning. R: My little sister lives with my grandpa now. R: She’s had to deal with so much since I decided not to take over the family business. L: You might have to back up a bit more before this starts to make sense to me. R: Our parents were merchants, but they died in an accident. We had some money saved at first, but... R: But Grandpa isn't healthy enough to work, and I'm not smart enough to work a job that requires... much thinking. L: That's really tough. Hard to make a fortune with just your strength, I'm sure. R: I had to sell all our valuables just to pay my way here so I could become a knight! L: Wow. That's a lot of pressure. R: My sister wants the best for me, but— R: She’s the smart one in the family! She's the one that should be here! R: When I ask if she needs anything, she always says she's fine. R: She doesn't want to ask me for anything 'cause she knows I'm having such a hard time here! L: She sounds like a great kid. So, what did the letter say? R: It said she's happy and thankful for all the study materials I sent her. L: That's good, right? Wait...where did you find extras? R: I couldn't find any, so I just sent her mine. It's like you said, right? R: It’s better to give them to someone who will use them instead of letting them go to waste! L: Um, don't take this the wrong way, but don't you still kind of need those? (pre-skip) L: Um, don't take this the wrong way, but don't you think you've still got things to learn? (post-skip) L: Well, I guess if it makes her happy, it's worth it. Maybe I can scrounge something up for her too.

——————————————————————————————

a

L: Hey! Writing to your sister again? R: You bet! Gotta reply to these things as soon as they come in! L: You had one last week too. It's great to see you're both so good about staying in touch. L: It's especially important when there's a war going on. R: Yeah. Oh! That reminds me! My sister wrote to say how much she loved the painting supplies you sent! L: Good. I'm glad gathering those pigments paid off. R: You even made her a brush! I really appreciate you doing all that for her. L: I was fascinated with painting at that age. L: I was a pretty artistic kid, if you can believe it. Not a lot of time for it when you're hungry though. R: Sounds like you had a pretty tough time growing up too, huh? L: I guess so. We never thought of it that way. L: But it's true the children in my village don't usually get to choose their futures. L: Any one of us could have had the talent for artistic genius and never even noticed. L: I was one of the lucky ones. I only got to follow my passion thanks to my father and all the other folks. L: That's why, once I come into my own, the first thing I'll do is head back there and help the other kids. R: Oh, wow. It's like all the kids in your village are counting on you. L: Haha, no need to exaggerate it. L: Besides, it's not like I'm unique. You're working hard for your sister's future, aren't you? R: Yeah. It's like me and you are both carrying big weights. R: We should try sharing the weight with each other! You know, lighten both of our loads! L: Huh? R: If we share our problems, then we only gotta carry half the weight, right? It works out for everybody! L: It's...probably a good thing you didn't try to take on your family's business. L: If you take half of my burden, and I take half of yours, the total's still the same. R: Nah. That doesn't sound right. Everything's lighter when you don't gotta carry it alone. L: ... L: Hahaha, on second thought, you might be right. L: With the right attitude, and the right partner to share the burden, maybe it is only half the weight. R: Now you're getting it! It's a waste of energy to struggle alone when there's someone who can help you! L: That's true. And I do hate waste, as you well know. R: So when it comes to working toward the future you're after, you know I won't fall short. L: Great! And you should never fall short on sharing a big meal with me too! R: Deal!

——————————————————————————————

paired ending

Leonie took over the mercenary company formerly led by Jeralt. She ran out of money constantly, however, due to sending all of her earnings back to her village, and so developed a reputation for unpaid tavern tabs. When she came upon the inn that Raphael had been helping to run with his family, she was overjoyed to finally find a place that would trust her enough to open a new tab. In her years frequenting the establishment, she accrued such a massive debt to Raphael that the only way to pay him off was to work for him. By the time the debt was finally paid, she had moved in with him. They lived together happily for the rest of their days.

[geejaysmith]

Wolf 359: A running list of things I have a heightened appreciation on second listen, pt. 2

Part one here. 

SEASON 3:

Pan-Pan: Still a little miffed they didn't explicitly do the "we have to huddle to conserve body heat" trope. Yes, it's corny, but also shut up, let my touch-starved space disasters cuddle.

So Eiffel stopped Hera and Minkowski arguing in season 1 to address an emergency, and now with Eiffel absent, the team starts arguing again. The fact he doesn't exactly have much Pride In His Own Self-Sufficiency to get in the way of "hey! Guys! Remember, imminent death? More important priorities happening?" tends to defuse situations like this aaaaaand now he's absent.

"Cutter will send a squad of psychos to come up here and kill us faster!" ...she's not wrong.

"Pick a corner and relax! Hop to it!" I just like this line delivery.

"The entire station is a SPACE YUKON and this thing is overheating!" I know, it's like it's symbolic or something.

Episode 29: "we all feel responsible for losing Eiffel and are lashing out because we're scared and sad and grieving and fear getting backlash while we're vulnerable if we admit we need help, and we don't know what to do but keep going because the alternative is breaking down and possibly never getting back up again." Alternatively:  "It's Metaphors All the Way Down."

Mayday: Eiffel's frustrated screaming.

Brain Ghost Minkowski showing up like "Yeah, we know I'm a hallucination, or Weird Alien Shit, or maybe just a clever metaphor representing the abstract process of thought, but who gives a crap, this is more interesting than listening to you talk to yourself for an entire episode."

BGM: Hi, I'm your thought processes externalized using a face and personality that you subconsciously think you need to hear from in this situation, possibly because you think so little of yourself you need to hear it from somebody else first. Eiffel: Oh hey cool, this is just like this one web comic I kept up with sometimes back on Earth- BGM: Not another word.

Eiffel getting slapped by Brain Ghost Lovelace, who is a projection of his thoughts.

What is that whispering in his head that reminds him of the Hermes' name supposed to be anyway? Score one for my Weird Alien Brain Shit theory. Having Lovelace's alien juice in your system comes with such fun side effects.

"I dunno, I only know what you know." "Shut up, don't go meta on me." / "Hilbert wouldn't know that word! He's never even heard of Empire!" Yeah, toldja: it's Brain Ghosts.

Brain Ghost Hilbert may represent the realist in Eiffel and the brutal, calculating reality he doesn't want to confront, but Brain Ghosts Minkowski and Lovelace are his cooler head and ingenuity, working him through staying calm and devising a way to survive, and Brain Ghost Hera, who appears when Hilbert tells him it's hopeless, telling him that against all the odds he will be okay, is his stubborn determination to never, ever quit. They're all his determination to live when Doug might want to just stop trying. They're the better parts of himself, reflected in the voices of his friends.

And Hilbert. But I digress- HOLY FUCK, I just realized the brilliance in the one-two punch of the Brain Ghost Brigade contrasted with the previous episode's Stress Fracture Argue Crew, it's The Sound And The Fury all over again.

Paging the Wolf 359 incorrect quote blogs: "Save my friends! And Zoidberg Hilbert!"  

Sécurité thru Don’t Poke the Bear: Maxwell! I've missed you! (':

"And I build pretty awesome battle drones on the weekends." ...Does Maxwell have her own souped-up version of one Jamie Hyneman's Blendo?

Eiffel, realizing he's starting to sound like Minkowski: My god, what have I become.

Eiffel mumbling to himself in general. "This is hell and I'm in it."

Is it just me or is Kepler's pig story not as agonizingly drawn out to listen to the second time around?

A Matter of Perspective: Funzo: 12 different board games, three of them TCGs and maybe at least one TTRPG, all tossed in a blender, because Pryce and Cutter are psychopaths.

The Funzo manual is the size of the actual Bible and don't try to convince me otherwise.

How into the game the girls all get.

Headcanon: Minkowski and Lovelace are both the types to get stupidly competitive over any kind of game regardless of their initial level of investment.

Eiffel keeps a photo of (it's implied) him and his daughter taped to the underside of his console...

"He looks so... happy." shUT UP

"I had no idea Eiffel had a-" daughter. Was it "daughter" you were going to say Minkowski. Well, no one else knew you were married til you brought it up, so turnabout's fair play.

"You think you know me? You know the artist formerly known as Warren Kepler, you've met my job. Aside from that, there's no one left for you to know." In light of the series finale, I, uh... I don't if I like this, Scoob. Also, stop reminding me all these people are human persons underneath all the desensitization to horror and violence.

"Happy birthday, Eiffel." They remembered! Hope this one is less traumatizing than the last, Doug.

"Happy Kwanzaa!" "Lovelace."

"Long Story Short, that's the last time I saw Maxwell's feet" wh. What. What happened involving Maxwell's feet. What's. why-

And to make a long story short, that's where my "Maxwell has hands for feet" headcanon came from.

Need to Know: Minkowski's dreams, apparently, include both creating musicals and commanding a deep space mission. She's gotten the latter way the hell off the bucket list, somebody with actual songwriting skills want to get in and write the former with me?

Lovelace overindulging on painkillers for her broken arm after losing Officer Fisher... "It was a difficult time." ):

Aaaand serious implications of the above are immediately headed off by Lovelace quacking aggressively at Jacobi.

Fire and Brimstone: where is my fanfiction about Lovelace overseeing Minkowski during her solitary confinement?

The Backstory Episodes: Zach Valenti wrote all the backstory episodes! I just find that kind of sweet.

Once in a Lifetime: Small detail I only noticed on my second listen, after a fanfic put the thought in my head: Minkowski's parents are only referred to in the past tense. Oof.

"Thank you for coming in on such short notice. We had a hiccup in staffing for this upcoming quarter."  So... according to the wiki's timeline, the launch for the second Hephaestus mission was some time in late March 2013. The beginning of this episode (and Eiffel's) states it takes place in 2013, with 3 months of training, meaning they were probably brought on board in January and the whole thing moved *ridiculously* fast. Everything points to them wanting to get people up in space as quickly and with as little fuss as possible, giving the newcomers no time to think it over or do additional research. Once they start the training program, they're probably too busy to look further into Goddard's deep space missions, and are likely in an environment where Goddard Futuristics can cut them off from other information sources. The people they select are relatively isolated (Minkowski and her husband being an exception) - the easier to make them disappear. Even Lovelace has been stationed at "a lot of very isolated, very quiet outposts", the implication being her superiors wanted her somewhere out of the way. Kind of makes me wonder about the rest of the Hephaestus 1.0 crew...

Greensboro: Nice ominous foreshadowing you've got there vis a vis Captain Lovelace and "are you an alien?"

Decommissioned: "We're not about to force anyone to do something they don't want to do!" ...Marcus Cutter deserves to have his trousers ablaze constantly.

All Things Considered is still a bit confusing (because I somehow keep listening to it while doing something else) and I'll need another listen to figure out what probably actually happened, but it is also hilarious.

"Eiffel had engaged the machine, but that's why I build in extra safeguards. My mistake, clearly, was to assume that would be enough to stop the slapstick routine."

“All Things Considered”: Did you have fun with this over-the-top romp of hilarity and and hijinks, dear audience? Good! Because that was us burning off our comedy quota for the rest of the season. Get ready for six whole episodes of nonstop emotional gut-punches!

MEMORIA.

Just... Memoria.

Putting this quote here because of Reasons: "Three years... Three and a half years... I've had this thing in my head breaking me, and making me think it was all my fault, that there was something wrong with *me!*"

So Memoria is still one of the best episodes and the last five minutes fuck me up in a special little way.

Time to Kill: "Or the one outside is the real Jacobi... and the alien is already in here with us." The funny thing, Maxwell, is that you were half-right and didn't even realize it, and you *were* just speaking to Lovelace.

So... do alien duplicates only get reloaded from the singular "snapshot" of the person, or does getting flare-scanned once give them a continually updated source of info? What I'm getting at is: if another Jacobi shows up post-finale, would he need to be filled in on events between his horrible, terrible death and the present?

Persuasion: Maxwell switching to First Name Basis to get Jacobi to be honest with her.

I always forget until the scene after that Hilbert is totally setting up the Space Telephone to manipulate her, but of all the ways he could've gotten Minkowski around to "we are disposable and need to act *now* before these people decide they're done with us", it still kinda touching that this is the method he chose.

Desperate Times/Desperate Measures are just a blur of "oh god oh god oh god" and it's just as nailbiting the second time around. One thing I love about this podcast is how comfortable it is with (for its medium) long stretches of silence, which can feel a LOT longer when you have no other forms of feedback except dialogue to know the first gunshot was just a warning.

So you really *do* feel Minkowski breaking out into laughter when Eiffel tries to invoke Air Force code is a release of the tension that's been building for multiple episodes. Like he's finally gotten through to them just how far this has all gone and how much further it could still go. I keep saying this: when the situation starts to threaten violence, he's got an amazing gift for keeping the rest of the crew in touch with their common humanity when the rest get far too used to a world that runs on self-interest and subterfuge. Hell, he even gets Hilbert and *Kepler* opening up over the course of the story (presuming Kepler is being honest when he talks about being a shell of himself, but even though he was trying to manipulate Eiffel, that doesn't exclude there being a kernel of truth in those words).

Speaking of Kepler: he's definitely riding the adrenaline high of the situation and it turns him into a monster with a manic streak. It makes Jacobi's and Maxwell's relative calm all the eerier by contrast. Those two really do make you forget that all of this is... pretty horribly routine for them.

Until they meet their match, that is, when the women of the Hephaestus refuse to stand down, and each of them is unspeakably badass in their own way. What Kepler didn't account for is that they're ready and willing to die together rather than sacrifice one another for their own survival.

Although again, the irony of the situation is that just dropping the station into the star could have let them avoid, /gestures at season 4. BUT I'm not gonna rain on the Badass parade here.

Bolero, aka "The podcast kicking me in the feelings while I'm down."

The way Minkowski orders everyone else out of the room before Brain Ghost Lovelace conversates with her.  ...did she pop up in the middle of that conversation, I wonder? And all this when psi-wave radiation is spiking, apparently. Coincidence?

Oh come on Hera, war is no reason to end a friendship- Look, I came here from Metal Gear. I see folks dunking on Hilbert and I'm just over here like "he's still not as revolting as Huey Emmerich."  

Listen I've seen enough of Warren Kepler and Marcus Cutter in this fandom to know y'all aren't above liking a bad guy, you just prefer the ones who're having fun with it.

"You're gonna come to my funeral! And you're gonna like it! ...I mean you're gonna feel really sad! And cry! And stuff! GOT IT??" Ah, good ol' Eiffel.

THE COMPUTER ALSO HAS BRAIN GHOSTS

"If I'm not your doctor, then what are we?" "We're... complicated?" Listen, Eiffel, if you're not careful, I'm going to start shipping you and Hilbert ironically For The Lulz, and we all know where shipping things ironically always leads.

Errybody gets brain ghosts this episode. Again: I accept that this is a device that's more interesting than an alternative method of expressing these same ideas, but the ambiguity of a Watsonian explanation (is it all in their heads? Do they really see an apparition of some kind?) lets me do my Weird. Look, I once wrote in a joke in a fic about Death from Discworld complimenting a Quirky Miniboss Squad member from Metal Gear Solid 3 on his taste in interior decorating arena design, and that spawned entire subplots in projects for two different fandoms, and eventually roped in a third fandom to elaborate further on their now-intertwined cosmology. Do not underestimate how much I can give myself to work with.

The last ten minutes of Bolero also fuck me up in a special way, partly because We Are Dealing With the Hard and Unavoidable Fact of Death but also the aliens are about to throw a curve ball that'll... alter that last part a little.

Like, words cannot describe the "Dead Man's Curve in the wet" hard right turn of going from being in mourning for several beloved characters (including my favorite) to SURPRISE, SHE'S BACK! I love it.

I'd have to check the scripts to be sure exactly because some words got lost in Lovelace's respiratory spasms but I do like to imagine the her head wound closing up in front of a horrified Eiffel and Minkowski, with a side order of glow-y shit. I've drawn too many Homestuck god tier revivals I guess.

Update: I DID check the recording script's stage directions to see just how disgustingly physical the whole event is and okay, so no weird glowing shit (I reserve my right to depict it that way anyway) but I'm delighted to report that the gross anatomical-ness I was picturing? It's worse! It is so much worse!

The goddamn AGONY that is the Special Episode being TWO HOURS LONG when it comes right after the BIGGEST CLIFFHANGER IN THE SERIES.

You have NO IDEA WHAT KIND OF TEMPTATION IT WAS TO SKIP THIS AND COME BACK TO IT LATER

LOVELACE 1.0 I LOVE YOU BUT ALSO I WANNA TO SEE WHAT'S HAPPENING TO FUTURE-YOU RIGHT NOW

Change of Mind: love the framing device placing this episode as within Lovelace's mind during her successful cranial reconstruction saving throw.

"Buncha nerds, gonna crash my-"

Just how familiar she is in this place, with these people... Hera was installed in her sister's grave (as another post put it), but Lovelace lives in the gutted cadaver of her home.

Zach Valenti's Lambert voice *does* sound like a bad Minkowski impression.

"I have a physicist to put the fear of *me* into." That's my girl. She kind of was more of an ass pre-Total Party Kill, though? Like come on, Isabel, how necessary *is* all this arguing with Lambert?

Fourier's voice is very nice, also. Very soft, very easy on the ears.

I'm now appreciating how it sounds like Fisher is the older and calmer mediator among the crew.

Also the image of Isabel just floating out in space and listening to some chill tunes is sooooo good.

Hey Doc, did it turn out Fisher was too perceptive to live. Was getting caught outside in that meteor shower really an accident. Hey. Hey Hilbert. Answer me. 

Also goddamnit, has EVERY character in this series has read Harry Potter?

Did the Fishers always differentiate each other by audio channel? I had to rewind the scene when I realized Lovelace's questions in my right ear weren't getting an answer.

"Say you're a big pink elephant!"

*gunshot* *gross biological dissolving noises* WHY

"Just because somebody made you something doesn't mean that's all you're going to be - you can be more!" I wrote this line down prior to the end of the episode's confirmation that it's a Big Thematic Point.

Aaaand we're back to the framing device, and with that, season 3 wraps. Or maybe season 4 kicks off? Either way, hell of a way to kick it off.

Cecilia Lynn-Jacobs had a hand in writing this episode? Aw... that's sweet...

So, yeah, headcanon: Alien resurrection does the weird glowy thing to close any obviously fatal maladies, then the gross biological viscera part kicks in, hence Lovelace sounding like she's trying to hack up her lungs as soon as she starts using them again.

Listen, sometimes the gross biological viscera parts are my favorite parts, okay? Okay.

[4amberllama]

f(x) Amber signs to Steel Wool Entertainment

Steve Baltin

, CONTRIBUTORI write about music and the business of music.

Opinions expressed by Forbes Contributors are their own.Stefanie Michova

K-Pop superstar Amber Liu is ready to come home to the States to focus on her solo career.

Already a global superstar from her work with K-Pop group f(x) Amber Liu, who was born in L.A., is ready to further career in the U.S. In exclusive news, Liu has signed with Kevin Morrow’s Steel Wool Entertainment here in the States. Morrow, formerly of Live Nation and House Of Blues, has worked in recent years with Anderson Paak and Watsky, among others. He can’t wait to break Liu as a solo artist in the U.S.

“Between all the movements going on and all of her music is so positive, it couldn’t be more timely,” Morrow says. “Her message is the message of female empowerment right now. I think that’s great. And Amber can sing, rap and dance. There are not a lot of people who can do all three and she can write. And she produces her own videos. She is one of those rare talents that can do just about everything. So at a time when you see this stuff start to cross over, she’s someone with urban leanings, but at the same time she can do a pop song, so I can’t think of a better time for her to put out her own material. Her new music will be a mixture of everything. She’ll be doing K-Pop stuff, she’s gonna be straight-up rap, it’s gonna be a little bit of everything.”

Adding to her already global profile, Liu has signed deals to be an ambassador for Nike and Loreal’s Redken brand. It’s an exciting time for Liu, who feels she is ready artistically and emotionally for this next challenge in her career.

I spoke exclusively with a very animated Liu, who told me why this is the right time for her to return Stateside, what she is working on and why her brand deals send such a powerful message that being your own person and sticking to your ideals can pay off.

Steve Baltin: It sounds like it’s a very fun time for you as you have so many different outlets.

Amber Liu: Yeah, I’m always in the studio working on music and dancing. I’m training with a bunch of choreographers here in L.A. who are really good friends of mine and [I’m] learning as much as I can and reflecting on the years I’ve been in the industry and what did I not have time to work on because I was always busy working. But [I’m] kind of going back into training mode and resetting myself. On the other side I often do video production and direct my own videos, so every time me and my friends want to do something we’re just like, “Let’s make a video and do this. Let’s make a skit about that.” So everyday is different and I’m just hopping back and forth to the studio and meetings and always crazy and fun.

Baltin: Is there one thing right now that is jumping out at you as being most fun?

Liu: I’ve had so many ideas in my head and I never had time to just put it all down or I didn’t have the resources or I wasn’t in the right area to do what I needed to do. Some of these projects I’ve been working on I can finally just put it down and put it into a song or a video. Like this idea I thought of five years ago I’m finally singing. It’s just having all those memories and reflecting on who I was and who I am now and seeing that growth I feel accomplished, but it’s comforting and I feel happy I can keep growing and growing. That’s why I think it is fun to me.

Baltin: As you get set to come over here creatively talk about mixing those two worlds.

Liu: With my group it was such a different dynamic because we have to come together and we’re part of a team. Definitely doing my solo stuff it’s fun in a different way. I get a lot more say, however, there’s a lot more work to do because I have to make everything happen. My personal creativity is obviously a lot bigger and I can just grab from a lot more things and deeper into myself, but within a group it’s a little bit harder cause you have four heads coming together. We all have our own goals. But because I’m doing more stuff when I’m a solo act I have to learn so much more and know about so many more things. What’s really cool is that transfers into my group thing and I’m like, “Oh yeah, I know how to do this, I’ll help you guys.” I think that’s where it’s the most fun. I’m doing things I’ve never done before and I can just do whatever I want.

Baltin: Do you feel like you’re prepared now for the journey of a solo artist?

Liu: I think I’m at a point personally where I’m comfortable with myself now and I understand that I’m not perfect, but I can only be the best I can be. That took years and years for me to understand. That’s why, I think, for a long time, I was very unsure of what I wanted to do. But now I’m having so much fun figuring it out and taking what’s been in my mind so long and putting it into a piece of art. And my whole team are my friends, and it’s just years and years of grinding and figuring it out.

Baltin: What piece of art so far comes closest to what you eventually want to capture?

Liu: For years, I’ve been writing music obviously. When I first started off in the industry I always wrote things on the side, like little tunes, little poems and then when I started getting a little bit more serious about it, going in the studios, writing it with my friends, going to studios and other sessions and writing back a whole bunch of music, then looking back at that cataloge compared to now it’s a total different sound, total different vocals, total different person in general. I was writing for other people at the time and I didn’t really have an identity. I’m comfortable with myself now and I understand how goofy I am, how stupid I can be, how emotional I can be or how focused I can be. I could feel it now; this is my track, this is how I would sing it. And I think that just came from a lot of trial and error and having experiences writing for my group, writing for other people, attempting to write for myself and it not working. I’ve built up a good cataloge of cool music I’m really looking forward to releasing soon.

Baltin: When did you see the K-Pop explosion coming?

Liu: When I first debuted back in 2009 K-Pop was already starting to get bigger because of the internet. And that’s how I found it because I’m not Korean. I enjoyed the music because it was different and it had this whole performance that went with it. Everybody’s in sync, the vocals are off the chains and I was like, “Yo, this is really cool.” I fell in love not only with the K-Pop stuff, but the whole culture. And when I got to Korea and started in the business there were a lot of people that were not Korean that were fans. We went to China for a bit, Japan. Our group was coming to the States a lot, for South By Southwest to perform and now there are these K-Pop conventions that are in L.A, New York and all over the world. So it’s amazing how K-Pop can go so international cause people are vibing off the music.

Baltin: Since you are trying to mix it all together what would be the dream scenario?

Liu: I just want to be touring. I want to do everything. I don’t know if that’s too ambitious, I want to do everything. But definitely taking that dance aspect that’s so big in K-Pop and incorporating it into my set and singing a whole array of stuff. It’s all these ideas and dreams that have been in my head so long because I don’t think I was ready. I thought I was ready years ago, but now I feel like it’s time for me to put all that into motion and I know what I need to do to get to where I want to be.

Baltin: Who are the dream collaborators?

Liu: I’ve been listening to a lot of the Script lately, they’re amazing. I kind of want to put out an actual EDM record one day. I love EDM too, Seven Lions, love to work with Max Martin, so many people. I just want to make music, everything’s cool.

Baltin: Talk about what the Nike and Loreal deals mean for you in terms of showing people that you can follow your own path and people will respond positively. That’s a great message to share.

Liu: I know when I was growing up I was always lost and just thought I was alone and that I needed to find where I belonged. And it’s such a coincidence you bring up Linkin Park because I listened to them my whole middle school, high school. And what I love about music and art in general is that you can take something so negative or positive, any emotion no matter how sad or happy, and turn it into art. And I think bands like Linkin Park, when I would listen to those lyrics, it made me feel like I’m not the only one out there that feels like this. We trap ourselves in a bubble, I think that’s what happens for a lot of us. But for me, when I went through my depression, I always felt like I was alone and because people never understood me I had to shut myself out from the world. Art and music was the only thing that could ever help me get over that. But then recently I met some good friends who’ve counseled me through things and mentors that really believed in me and made me believe in myself. And I started becoming more vocal on my views of certain aspects. Seeing brands take that on, number one, it’s very overwhelming. We’re all fighting for the same thing and I hope that the fight for equality, the fight to help people get over their anxiety or depression, whatever thing they’re going through, I hope that we can all come together more as a community. Me doing music and being “famous,” or whatever you want to call it, is cool and all, but to me that’s my job description. All I want to do it use my art and use what I can make to help somebody. And if brands believe in that too and more people are just coming in that makes my day. That’s the reason I do my job and the reason I will fight for the people who feel like they can’t go on.

[anneshirleywasmychildhood]

Kissing Prompt: at a party / admiration

*shows up two weeks late with Starbucks AU* Guys, I can explain. 

Sorry it’s so late, but it’s a long one and no, I did not come up with the idea for this fic after thinking up that hilarious opening line (i’m kidding, that’s totally what happened) Paring: Shirbert. Words: 2800 and change.

Gilbert was tired of his job. Working in the service industry was horrible. People were rude, demanding, and horrible tippers. Still, he had to pay for school somehow, and this was the only place that would hire him. Being a Starbucks barista wasn’t too bad, he tried to remind himself. The bell that signaled that someone opened the door rang and Gilbert didn’t notice, he kept making the grande Caramel Machiatto that was assigned to him. “You get that,” Billy said. “I’m taking my break.” Gilbert rolled his eyes and looked to see who was waiting at the register. It was two girls, one had black, raven like hair. The other had red hair that hung down in two braids and a freckles. She was beautiful.Gilbert moved over to the register. The girl with black hair went first. “I’ll have a Venti Mocha, no whip cream.”“And what’s your name?” Gilbert asked.“Diana” the girl responded. She paid, then moved aside and let the other girl step forward.“What would you like this afternoon?” Gilbert asked her.“A Venti Shaken Ice Tea,” the young woman said. “Black.”“Would you like lemonade with it?” Gilbert asked.“No thank you,” she responded. Gilbert liked people that always used please and thank you with servers, even before he became one. It said a lot about their character. J. K. Rowling had a quote about it. “Judge a person not by how he treats his equals, but by how he treats his interiors. That is the true measure of a man.” “And what is your name?” Gilbert asked, leaning forward a bit in anticipation.The girl smiled. “Call me Cordelia.”“Cordelia,” he smiled, writing it on the cup. “Spelled like it sounds, I assume.”“Naturally,” Codelia answered him.“It’s a beautiful name,” he said, and bit his tongue from also saying how it suits such a beautiful girl. “You’re drinks will be ready shortly,” he addressed both of them, turning around to finish the Caramel Machiato before staring on their drinks. Gilbert looked over at Cordelia’s cup. He knew what Billy would do in his place. Billy must have written his number on half the cups he gave out, but Gilbert didn’t want to do that. He didn’t want Cordelia to feel weird, or obligated to call him, or obligated to stay away from this Starbucks if she didn’t. So he didn’t write his number. He gave them their drinks without incident.On their walk home, Diana and Anne were discussing their coffee attendant.“He’s cute,” Diana said.“Objectively speaking, yes,” Anne responded. “Please, looking at him you got the exact same look in your eye that you get whenever you see Tom Holland. You like him.”“I do not like him.”“Yes you do. You like him so much. You are absolutely smitten.”“Am not,” Anne continued to insist. “Please, you are already naming your future kids. You can deny it all you want but I am your best freind. You can’t hide anything from me.”

Gilbert took a picture of Cordelia’s receipt and made sure he was working that time next week. He knew it was probably a long shot but he figured that if they were walking to or coming from class, they would be there at the same time. Sure enough, they were there again. “Diana, right?” Gilbert asked as the first girl approached the registrar.“Yeah,” Diana said. “Though this time I would like a Hot Chocolate.”“Venti again?” Gilbert asked as he punched it in.“You know it,” Diana smiled. Then she looked back at Anne and got an idea. “You know, we were just going to go straight home but my extremely attractive freind here wanted to get Starbucks on the way.” Diana gestured the the blushing figure behind her.“Your drink will be ready soon,” Gilbert smiled, unsure how to respond. Diana stepped off to the side and Cordelia stepped up. “Sorry about my freind,” Cordelia apologised. “No need,” Gilbert smiled. “I wish I had a freind that invested in my happiness.”As if being summoned, Billy appeared and trapped one arm over Gilbert. “So is this the chick?” He asked, loudly.Gilbert didn’t like Billy that much, but if you are asking to trade shifts they usually won’t without an explanation. So when Gilbert started asking around to see who was working, the story of the enchanting Cordelia also started circling. “Hey, girl,” Billy addressed Cordelia now. “My bud Blythe here traded his prime Wendsday afternoon shift for this one, I hope you make it worth his while,” Billy winked at Cordelia, making her instantly uncomfortable. “Hey Billy, don’t you have to be whipping tables?” Gilbert asked, trying to get him as fat away from the girl as possible. “Fine,” Billy said, walki g away slowly, “but I expect details but.”“I’m not your bud,” he said to the space Billy had been moments ago. “I’m not his bud,” he told Cordelia. She looked down, still very uncomfortable. “Now I feel like I have to apologize,” Gilbert said sheepishly.“You didn’t do anything wrong,” Anne pointed out.“I suppose not. How about if I just take your order.”“Black Venti Shaken Ice Tea, please,” said Cordelia.“Name?” Gilbert asked, trying to sound like he hadn’t been dreaming about her the entire week. “Penelope,” the girl formerly called Cordelia said. Gilbert took a double take. “Ummm, last time you said it was Cordelia,” he pointed out.“Last time I felt like a Cordelia. This time I feel like a Penelope.”“So, Cordelia wasn’t your real name,” Gilbert clarified.“It was, at that moment.”Gilbert felt a lump form in his throat. He knew people used fake names at Starbucks all the time, but it didn’t occur to him that she might. He had been practicing writing Cordelia over and over in his notebook, trying to make sure his handwriting was the best it could be. It felt weird that to have been obsessing over a lie.“Coming right up,” he said in a monotone voice.He went to make their drinks, his body doing the work and his mind was to distracted by this new revelation. Anne went to wait by her freind.“Did you see that?” Diana said in a whisper to her freind. “What?” Anne asked.“He told his freind about you!”“They are not friends,” Anne quoted Gilbert.“And he traded shifts for you.”“So what?”“So what? So you’ve read so much fanfiction, I thought you would know a Starbucks soulmate AU when you’re in one.” Anne rolled her eyes. “Think about it,” Diana pressed on. “You have the hots for him. He has the hots for you. It’s fate.”“I don’t think he likes me now that he knows I lied about my name. He probably doesn’t want to date a liar.”“He’ll get over it,” Diana said. Sure enough, when they picked up their drinks, Gilbert smiled warmly at them. “Beautiful name, Penelope,” he said. “It really suits you.”“That’s why I chose it,” she smiled back as they left the store.Gilbert made sure he had the exact same shift next week, and the week after. Soon, everyone knew about Gilbert’s mystery girl. They started trying to get placed onto that shift with him just so they could see her. Gilbert was the kind of guy girls went crazy over, never the other way around. But the look in his eyes whenever he talked about her made them all know he was really smitten. It wasn’t just a crush, but if it was it was the biggest crush they’ve ever seen.Anne kept giving new names, and she enjoyed coming up with them. She had lists in her notebooks of all the ones she wanted to try out on him, and Diana joked that they were going to name their kids off thoes list. Anne acted like she didn’t like the teasing, but what she actually didn’t like was being constantly reminded of what she wants but could never have. Still, Gilbert worshiped her. He kept careful track of all the names she’s used. After Penelope there was Alex. Then Remy, Amelia, Lucinda, Wendy, Maria, Tammy, and Theodore Washington the Third. “Name?” Gilbert asked, his favourite moment of the week was hearing how the girl answered that question.“Autumn,” she said, blissfully.“A beautiful choice,” he said. “It suits you.”“What?” Anne asked suddenly. Did he just call her beutiful.“Because of the red hair,” he pointed out. “It’s very autumn-y.” Gilbert recovered quickly, but was scared at how close he came to calling her beautiful.“That’s not why she picked it, though,” said the ever-present Diana. “She picked it because she has Cole’s new show on her mind.”“Who’s Cole?” Gilbert asked. Did this girl have a boyfriend? It made sense that she would already have a boyfriend. “Our freind,” Anne said. “He has a new show opening up downtown called The Fourth Season. We are going to it on Saturday.”“Can I come too?” Gilbert asked. “I’d love to support local artists.” “Sure,” Diana said. “Let’s give you the info.” Anne produced a pen and Gilbert gave her a napkin. Anne wrote down the time and place and handed it back.“I look forward to seeing you there,” she said as the two girls left the shop.

Gilbert must have tried on at least 15 outfits. None of them seemed exactly right. He wanted to impress the girl, it would be the first time she saw him in something other than his uniform. He wanted to look relaxed, but not too relaxed. Informal and approachable but also like he still put in a effort. Nothing seemed right, though, and it was almost time to leave. He decided to go back to the 4th or 5th outfit. A simple dark red button up shirt, a black dinner jacket, and brown slacks. He didn’t know what the other were wearing but this seemed appropriate for an art exhibit. He left the house and headed over.It was an average size gallery. Not big, but not a whole on the wall either. On all the walls there were pictures. Photographes. But they were photographes of sculptures. Gilbert walked over to the first one he saw. It was a scene of a forest. There were three sculptures, around waist high, dancing in the center of a clearing, raising their hands to the sky. In the center of the circle of statues, there was a real life figure. She was moving fast, spinning as she lifted off the ground. It was doing that thing where there was a long exposure so the photo was blurry but Gilbert could clearly identify the woman in the center as him mystery girl. He smiled. Her face was mostly blurred but the artist, it must have been Cole, kept her smile crystal clear. Gilbert always loved her smile above anything else, he was glad he wasn’t the only one who did.He wanted to keep walking, but knew it was more important to find the girl. He looked around the room and wandered around, lost.“You look lost,” a man said, walking up to him. “I’m Evan, the artist’s boyfriend.” “Nice to meet you,” Gilbert said, shaking his hand. “I was supposed to meet someone here, but I can’t see her.”“What’s her name?” Evan asked.“I… I don’t actually know,” Gilbert confessed.“Well, what does she look like?” Evan asked.“Beautiful,” Gilbert said, looking dreaming off into the middle distance. “She’s the most beautiful girl in the world.”“You’re looking for Ruby,” Evan says. “Makes sense, you are her type for a one night stand.”“Oh no,” Gilbert quickly objected. “This isn’t a one night stand.”“Then why don’t you know her name?” Evans pointed out.“Because every week she gives a different one,” Gilbert tried to explain. “Wait,” Evan said as something clicked in his head. “Are you… Gilbert? Starbucks Gilbert?”“Yes!” Gilbert said happily. “Do you know where she is?”“I know where she was,” Evan said. “She was helping Cole in the back room.” “Well, where is she now?” Gilbert was so close. “Right there,” Evans pointed. Gilbert followed his finger to where his mystery girl, Diana, and a man that must have been Cole were emerging from a doorway. They were all laughing together and having a good time. “Let’s go,” Evans said, leading Gilbert over to where the three friends were standing. As Gilbert approached the girl, he noticed her dress. It was a cute 50s style purple halter dress. Her hair was no longer in two braids, and was in a fancy up-do instead. She had simple makeup on, the most noticable part being her bright red lipstick. It made you really notice her lips, which Gilbert was already doing even before she added the colouring.Gilbert straightened his jacket as they approved the trio. “Guess who I found!” Evan said, drawing their eyes to the two boys. He went over to kiss his boyfriend as Anne approached Gilbert. “I’m so glad you came,” Anne said.“That’s what she said!” shouted an anonymous voice in the crowd. “Shut up, Patrick!” Anne shouted back. She obviously knew everyone here, and they all knew her. “I wouldn’t miss it for the world,” he promised her. “So your Starbucks Gilbert,” Cole said, having suffencently greeted his boyfriend. “You must be Cole. It’s an honour.” They shook hands warmly. “I love the photos. You must have spent a lot of time working on the sculptures. But I have to ask-”“If I spent all that time on the sculptures why not just present them?” Cole finished the sentence. “ Because I didn’t create the sculptures to be shown in a gallery. I created them to be shown where they were. To reflect and augment and be augmented by their surrounding. The trees at what inspired and guided my work, to take it away in the final stages before showcasing, to showcase it without context, seemed cruel and almost crippling.”Everyone nodded along as Cole spoke, listening intently.“But why is it called the four seasons? I only see fall and a bit of winter.” Gilbert addressed Cole, curious.“Well, the plan was to come back once every month for a year, documenting the statues in all four seasons,” Cole loomed down, bitterly. “But-”“But someone came and destroyed it,” Evan finished.Gilbert was horrified. “Who would do that?” he wondered.“Whoever it was destroyed months of work,” Cole said bitterly. “I decided just to proceed with the show as planed, keeping the same title out of spite for whoever thinks they have control over what I do, say, or feel.”“Good,” Gilbert said firmly. “When someone hurts you that bad, they aren’t worth your anger.” “Thank you,” Cole said, looking at Gilbert respectfully. “Oh, please excuse me,” Cole said. “I just spotted my old mentor Miss Josephine and have to go say hi.”Cole left, and Evan followed him. So did Diana, leaving Gilbert and the girl alone. He looked over at her fondly.“Can I ask you a question?” Gilbert asked, very seriously.“You may,” the girl nodded, understanding that this would be a serious issue.“What is your name?” he asked. The girl in front of him held back laughter. “It’s not funny,” he tried to insist while also laughing slightly. “I’ve known you for two months, you are my favourite customer, and we are becoming pretty good freind and I still don’t know your name. You wouldn’t believe the awkward conversation I had with Evan. I need to know your name.”Anne stopped laughing and looked at him. She stared deep into his eyes, accidentally falling in love without even realizing it. “Anne. Spelled with an E.”“Anne,” Gilbert repeated. “You hate it,” Anne said, immideatly panicking . “I know you do. I hate it too. That’s why I hate sharing it.”“No, no, no,” Gilbert said quickly. “I don’t hate it. I love it.”Anne looked up from her panicked state. “You do?”“Of course,” Gilbert assured her, stepping forward and putting his hands on her arms to help calm her down. “It suits you. It may not be the fanciest name, but it’s reliable. Safe. Beautiful. Small, but full of life, passion and happiness. Like I said, I love it.” It was obvious that the last sentence wasn’t referring to the name, rather the person bearing the name. Anne looked up into Gilbert’s eyes and felt her soul leave her body as they kissed. He didn’t kiss her, she didn’t kiss him, they kissed each other, both leaning in at the exact same time. Anne closed her eyes as she felt the kiss, felt his tongue rub against hers. She melted into it, into him, and wanted to stay there forever.