#he was probably happier once and less emotionally constipated but I guess spike leaving really did him in
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It’s hyperfixating on vicious hours again
#I feel like he’s the type of dude that doesn’t associate himself w much#but when he does he goes 100%#like???? he doesn’t fixate much but when he does he can’t let go#and it’s at odds sometimes with his desire to be ruthless#like idk he’s trying to make a monster out of himself#the same way spike tried to stay humane#he can hold grudges yeah but that doesn’t mean his feelings can turn on a dime#as much as he tries to distance himself it’s more of an image he pulls up#man like look up repressed in a dictionary and there’s probably a picture of him#this is a mf who hollowed himself out for the sake of his goals#he was probably happier once and less emotionally constipated but I guess spike leaving really did him in#mf never learned moderation on his own spike and Julia were probably his impulse control#idk man kinda gay to plague another man five years after your relationship went sour#what are you drawing him out for??? is he another obsession?? does he plague you the same way you do him??#the contradiction of wanting to destroy your attachment and wanting to remain beside him#man really just said ‘I am here to cause problems’ and did that#like he didn’t really care if he succeeded or died#anyways good talk as you can see I have a thing for friends/lovers to enemies (homoerotic)#cowboy bebop#mumbles
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