#he was on headset with his mates so he couldn't say anything but he gave me a look like 'I see what you're up to over there'

[octuscle]

Hotel room: filthy chav tf

It was an imposition. An absolute imposition. Having to spend the night in a youth hostel was unbelievable. But in a triple room? Without your own bathroom? Using a communal shower room? That had to be a joke. Yes, his company had to cut costs. There was a new travel policy that banned five-star hotels and business class flights. All well and good. But a youth hostel?!?!?!?!! He called the travel agency and insulted his colleague in the worst possible way. She just replied dryly that everything else was fully booked because of the trade fair and that she had even written Alexander an e-mail asking if the booking was okay. And he had replied with a curt "yes". Unfortunately, there was nothing more she could do, he was still on the waiting list for two hotels. But if there was no answer by now…

Alexander moved into his room. It smelled like a lad's changing room in a community school on a council estate. Of course, he had no idea what it smelled like. But that's how he imagined the stench. Without greeting or acknowledging the teenager lying on the bed playing with his cell phone, Alexander went to the window and pulled it open. "Oi, did someone crap in yer head, mate? Shut that window, innit?" the chav yelled at him. "I don't understand a word you're saying," Alexander replied and began to unpack his suitcase. I don't know how the chav could live like this, he thought to himself. He needed order. He then changed into his bedding, which he saw as a further humiliation, and lay down on the bed. The chav was listening to music so loud that Alexander could clearly hear the bass. He found it more than annoying. But he tried to ignore it. He put on his headset and called his fiancée. Alexander assumed that the chav lying in the bed above him couldn't hear anything, as loud as he was listening to music. So he complained without a care in the world and blasphemed about the young man with the disturbed relationship to personal hygiene and the impossible haircut. "Honey, I have to stop, I have to get out of here and have lunch somewhere civilized." Alexander ended his phone call. He looked up. And he was looking at a dirty white sock.

"Oi, I'm Callum, but me mates call me Cal. So you call me Callum. Did ya just say my smell's botherin' ya? I thought posh gits like you love the scent of real man's feet." Alexander almost threw up. Without saying anything, he jumped up, grabbed his coat and left the room. He had a lunch date with an old school friend at a trendy steak restaurant. It was supposed to distract him and save the evening as much as possible. As he stood in the subway, he wondered what the devil had possessed him not to take a cab. It smelled almost as bad here as in his hotel room. Suddenly he realized that the smell was coming from his armpits. Damn, had he forgotten the deodorant this morning? The journey seemed like an eternity. People wrinkled their noses. My God, that was embarrassing. In the restaurant, he went to the toilet first, wet a towel, took off his shirt and jacket and wiped his armpits. In the stress, he didn't even notice that instead of a white microfiber undershirt with a V-neck, he was wearing a worn-out, yellowed fine rib undershirt. The waiter eyed him a little disparagingly as he brought him to his table. His friend was already sitting there and stood up to greet him. Alexander gave him a fist bump. His friend looked irritated and returned the greeting. "My best man, what kind of ghetto attitudes are these? At least it goes with your casual footwear." Alexander looked at the floor. He was wearing rather expensive-looking sneakers. And white socks. He stammered something about a suitcase that had gone missing and that he'd been a bit stressed. His friend grinned a little disparagingly and poured Alexander a glass of red wine.

The conversation was somehow wooden. Marcus told stories from their school days. But Alexander couldn't remember any of them. The wine was quite tasty, the steak was too rare for him, but he didn't dare complain. With lots of ketchup, it was fine. When the waiter asked if he should pour more wine, Alexander replied with his mouth full "Oi mate, gimme a big beer, yeah? And some mayo with them chips." The rest of the meal passed in silence. All you could hear was Alexander smacking his lips. And after he had finished, a loud and passionate burp. Marcus looked horrified at first. Then he laughed uproariously and burped at least as loudly. "Blimey, mate! That was a good one. Now off for a fag and a fart outside?" "You can proper bet on it, mate. Got a spare cig for us?".

Marcus and Alexander had to put their last few pounds together to pay. The waiter looked disgustedly at the stale bills. "You got a problem, mate? Our money not good enough for ya? What's it gonna take for a blowie, eh? Would ya prefer that?" Alexander could barely stop Marcus from starting a fight with the waiter. He waved for security. A few minutes later, the two chavs were thrown out the back exit.

The evening was still young. Alex called Cal to see if he would like to have a beer in the pub at the youth hostel and watch the game. Cal replied that he had just taken a punter up to the room and had to fuck him first. Blimey, Cal was always lucky. Mack suggested he stand by the mess hall exit. Maybe you could pick up a customer there too. Alex looked in his wallet. He was broke again. He could do with a few pounds. They had at least managed to scrounge two fags from a passer-by. The evening was off to a good start. And at some point it would end with a hot threesome in their room.

Pics found @maennersneakersockenfuesseskins and @belgiquecuir

[the-lonelybarricade]

since we are on the subject of fic recs…i’ve got to be the one to ask… got and smut recs?

(also you’re very cool and a talented writer)

LB what have you been up to for the last few days you've been MIA from tumblr? The answer is having uni-induced mental breakdowns and sorting through the entire explicit Feysand archives on AO3. I’ve been organizing these rec lists by authors but I've sorted this one by theme so it’s easier for people to find what kind of smut suits their tastes. This is a very comprehesive list so I'm putting it under a read more.

I also tried to be strict about only including compeleted one-shots/two-shots but I did make some exceptions because they are too good not to include. Incomplete fics are marked with a 🙏 because I'm praying that one day the authors will bless us with more glorious content <33

✨= Feyre pov, 🌙 = Rhys pov

Disclaimer: regardless of how I've sorted these fics, please read the tags and the author's summary of the fics themselves and read at your own discretion. 🔞

Canon Compliant smut: Sex scenes with similar vibes to the Feysand sex life we saw in canon. (Very tender and loving, usually involves Rhys being a passionate simp for his High Lady)

Saturated Sunset ✨ - Rhys goes to pieces when he sees Feyre in a new set of lacy underthings (as he should)

Tease 🌙 - set in ACoMaF, Feyre gets revenge for that sexy vision Rhys sent her

Paint Me ✨ - Paintbrush play meets sensitive Illyrian wings

Chapter 55 🌙 - Rhys pov of all that sweet chapter 55 goodness.

Out of the Shadows 🌙 - Rhys pov of chapter 48 (inn scene)

Break ‘Em Out ✨ - Wingplay.

Live Another Day ✨ - An extended look into the tent scene in acowar.

The Wall ✨ - The High Lord and Lady get frisky an an alleyway in Velaris.

From Sunup to Sundown ✨ - What if Feyre had felt the mating bond snap on Starfall?

Moving Forward ✨ - Rhys comes home to see his High Lady admiring herself in lingerie.

You ✨ - An alternate version of the Inn Scene, where Feyre admits she wants Rhys.

Paint Me A Picture ✨ - Feysand find a loophole to a wedding tradition that forbids them from seeing each other the night before they're wed.

A Sweet Treat ✨🌙- a sweet Halloween inspired fic that has copious amounts of smut.

Training ✨ - Feyre got stuck in some rope while training. Oh no, help me step-High Lord I'm stuck.

Like what you see? ✨ - Feyre pays Rhys back for the vision on the roof with one of her own.

Unfinished Buisness ✨ - Feyre has a wet dream and Rhys decides to help it come to life.

Moonshine ✨ - Feyre bathes a very drunken, horny Rhysand (it's surprisngly wholesome).

Therapy ✨ - Feyre massages Rhysand's knee on a rainy day and the two of them get a little carried away.

a united front ✨ - Rhys gets Feyre a sexy gift to wear during an event that keeps them both distracted.

smooth ✨ - Feyre learns about body hair removal and Rhys is happy to help his High Lady feel confident in her body (this one is so sweet 🥺)

Birthday Regards 🌙 - Feyre gets Rhys an extra special present for his birthday.

Something Missing ✨ - Wing kink meets the paint kink. I love this one because it's so playful without sacrificing any of the passion.

This is How I See You 🌙 - Feyre is feeling insecure about her postpartum body and Rhys reminds how beautiful he finds her.

Just Like Her ✨ - an acomaf AU where Feyre and Rhys decided to be honest with each other after the CoN throne scene.

Make love before war ✨ - A closer look into frenzied sex in the Windhaven cabin after Cassian and Rhys finished fighting.

Darling I'd Hang the Stars For You 🌙 - this one is just so stinkin cute. The desperately in love Rhys we all adore, showing his devotion to his High Lady the way he knows best.

midnight blue citrus 🌙 - a power outaged timed perfectly with Feyre being in the shower so Rhys could bravely come to her rescue.

Make Your Good Love Known to Me ✨ - Rhys gives Feyre a very thorough massage to help her relax after a long day of training.

First Time Encounters: Feysand don’t know a lot about one another, but they do know they’re both very sexy people who should do naughty things to each other.

The Rules of the Game 🌙 - AU where Feysand meet in the Hewn city and shameless flirting ensues, among other things.

'cause my kiss goes down you like some sweet alcohol c - A stranger in a bar can't seem to keep his eyes off Feyre.

I could drink a whole damn case ✨ - Feyre goes to a bar to move on from her breakup and happens to meet eyes with the most alluring stranger.

A Letter to Satan 🌙 - Feyre sends a letter to Santa asking him to bring her a good fuck for Christmas... except she might have accidentally swapped a few letters.

Bite Me, Prick ✨ - Feyre is dared to spend the night in a spooky castle, and happens to meet a very interesting resident. (Aka the Feysand vampire smut we never knew we needed).

Frenzy/sex-pollen/calanmai/and other mating-bond shenanigans: besties just can’t control their lust for each other

All the Pieces Fall Right Into Place ✨- Calanmai fuck or die. I put this here instead of in Dub-con because it’s set at a point in the books they both (secretly) wanted each other.

Fire Night ✨ - if the calanmai chapter in acotar had gone a little differently.

Frenzy ✨ - Feyre is in “heat” and her smell drives Rhys crazy

Hate Me If It Helps 🌙 - Acomaf set pre-mating in which Feyre is exposed to an aphrodisiac and Rhys has no choice but to help.

You Don't Know What Hell You've Put Me Through ✨ - human Feyre is effected by sex-pollen and luckily there is a generous High Lord nearby to help her out.

Never Done (At Least For Tonight) 🌙✨ - Set between acomaf/acowar. Feyre and Rhys are both struggling and the mating bond bring them together in their sleep.

In Darkness She is All I See 🌙 - Feyre and Rhys accidentally consume a cherry pie laced with an aphrodisiac while visiting the new High Rulers of the Spring Court. (Part of the Cherry Pie Smut Extraveganza)

All Mine ✨ - Feyre gets jealous watching Cresseida flirt with her mate.

Dom/sub (but still loving): In which Feysand get experimental in the bedroom

Silk Ties ✨ - Feyre and Rhys try out some bondage in the bedroom. (soft dom Rhys)

The Midnight Feast 🌙 - Rhys is awakened by Feyre having a very nice dream about him. (Consensual somnophilia + dom Rhys)

they know you walk like you're a god (they can't believe I made you weak) ✨ - the Feyre pegging Rhys fic that will make my feyre's dick anon very happy.

We're All Just Animals ✨ - Feysand run into Issac in the mortal realm and jealous, possessive sex ensues.

to take, to worship ✨ - Gentle dom Rhys giving his Feyre exactly what she needs. (mild somnophilia + dom Rhys)

Fifty-Six ✨- The Feysand mating frenzy we were robbed of in ACoMaF. Includes gratuitous use of the words "good girl". (possessive sex + spanking)

Topped ✨ - More Rhys getting pegged content, because we deserve it.

Take It Off 🌙 - Feyre goes away on a trip and Rhys can't stand to be parted from her. Rough/vaguely possessive sex ensues when she gets back. (mutual masterbation + rough sex)

say you're mine 🌙- Rhys sees Feyre sitting with Tarquin and feels the need to remind Feyre who she belongs to. (possessiveness + rough sex + spanking)

lost in the way you move ✨ - Rhys comes home late and Feyre decides to "punish" him for it. (Dom Feyre)

you best believe that I got something up my sleeve 🌙- Cassian gifts Feysand a fleshlight and some experimental smut ensues. (cock/ball worship + begging + edging + toys)

Bindings and Blindfolds ✨ - Feyre uses some new toys to take control in the bedroom. (bondage and light BDSM)

I'm gonna make sure I'm the best you ever had ✨ - Another Rhys getting pegged fic because we as a fandom all know he'd lose his mind over his High Lady wanting to fuck him.

Pinned 🌙- Rhys drugs Feyre so she can't talk or move while he has his fun (consensually, ofc). Includes dirty talk that had me sweating.

Lessons ✨ - Feyre and Rhys decide to experiment with some kinks in the bedroom. (blind folds + handcuffs + merciless teasing, they each switch between dom/sub)

all the way down 🌙 - Feyre and Rhys try out their new sex swing.

we don't gotta hide this is what you like ✨ - Feyre and Rhys escape their party for a quick rondevouz in the bedroom. (oral sex + anal sex).

Feysand + guests 😏: for the sake of time, just go into these knowing they're all kinky as shit.

A Solstice to Remember ✨ - Feyre joins the batboys in the Solstice birchin.

Tell Me What You Want ✨ - Feyre and the batboys in their bedroom.

The Birchin ✨ - SJM may be a tease but the Feysand smut authors sure aren't 🙏

A Prythian Fertility Rite - The Inner Circle orgy you didn't know you wanted

Spindle's Thread - Cassian joins Feysand in bed (Cassian's POV)

in the night there is only you ✨ - Cass and Az enjoying Feyre while Rhys watches

follow me down the rabbit hole ✨ - Threesome between Helion/Feysand.

The High Lord, The High Lady, and the Spymaster - A delicious series of fics documenting the bedroom adventures of Rhys/Feyre/Azriel.

Look Who's Wet Now ✨ - Feyre + the bat boys having arguably too much fun in a swimming pool.

New Depths ✨ - Feyre and Rhys decide to try out some new things in the bedroom, including inviting a certain Autumn male to join them. (Feysand/Lucien)

Playtime ✨- Feyre decides to take Rhys up on his offer to have Helion join them in their bed.

Feyre and the Batboys ✨ - it's exactly as the title says and it's absolutely filthy (in the best way).

multiply- Lucien decides to join Feyre and Rhys in the shower. (Luicen pov)

Summerboy ✨ - In a visit to Summer Court, Feysand decide to invite Tarquin to their bed.

Court of Nightmares: either one or both of them assuming their CoN mask (with consent). Again, these are all exceptionally kinky. Please check the tags before you read!

At the Nightmare Court 🌙 - Feysand roleplaying the High Lord and his pet in the throne room.

What I've Shown You In The Dark ✨ - High Lord Rhys reminds Feyre who she belongs to

the world fades away ✨ - Feysand attend a CoN orgy and decide to have some fun of their own.

War Meetings are Dull 🌙 - Feyre gets a bit "touchy" at a high lords meeting and when they get home, Rhys shows her the repercussions.

Till Death Do Us Part ✨ - Essentially, Rhys takes Feyre into his sexy dungeon to have his filthy way with her.

Espionage 🌙 - Set in acowar. Tamlin brings Feyre to the CoN as a means to gloat and Rhys plays his CoN mask to perfection.

I was in the darkness so darkness I became ✨- How the CoN throne scene would have gone if Feysand had the restraint we wished they had (as in none at all).

Court of Nightmares? More like Court of "Pull My Hair" ✨ - Feyre and Rhysand need to find other means of entertainment while at the Court of Nightmares.

What I've Shown You In The Dark ✨ - Rhys takes Feyre to the Court of Nightmares to remind her who she belongs to.

Hate fucking: Honestly I thought there were way more of these fics when I made this category, so please enjoy this apparently very niche smut.

Fuck You, Feyre Darling ✨ - Feysand hate sex UtM

Ride home ✨ - Rhysand asks Feyre for a blowjob in exchange for a ride home. There’s only one issue—she hates him with a passion.

Sinful Chemistry ✨ - Porn actress Feyre Archeron can't stand her new co-star.

I do bad things with you ✨ - Feyre accidentally kisses her roommate. I had trouble placing this one, but I think the tension between them is reminiscent of hate fucking.

Daddy Rhys Supremacy: Tragically underrepresented in this fandom, if you ask me. Everyone drink this kool aid so we can have a longer list.

Can't Keep My Hands to Myself ✨- Written by yours truly. A prompt heavy Sugar daddy oneshot.

i'll take care of you ✨ - Rhys helps Feyre forget about her long day by taking control.

Tempt My Trouble ✨🙏- mafia AU meets sugar daddy AU and very intense sexy times ensue.

The Mist ✨🙏 - Feyre performs as a stripper for the first time and quickly catches the eye of the club's owner.

Guys My Age ✨🙏 - Feyre's steamy one night stand reappears in her life in the most inconvenient way.

Dub-con, dark-fic, dark Rhys: Feminism? Who is she?

In the Woods Somewhere ✨ - Feyre and Rhys share lucid dreams with each other while he's UtM. He decides to take something he wants for once.

Bound for More✨ - Feyre is chosen as the virign sacrifice for her village, but the monster doesn't seem very interseted in killing her...

Where we keep our nightmares 🌙 - An absolutely heart wrenching fic about Rhys overcoming his UtM trauma and Feyre doing her best to help him through it.

Under the Mountain ✨ - After Amarantha finds Rhys and Feyre kissing in the cave, she makes Rhys keep going while the rest of the court is made to watch.

your body reacting ✨ - Feyre's second trail UtM is having sex with Rhys.

Dead Dove: the ones where you learn things about yourself you don’t think you could even tell your therapist about. These are all non-con.

King Under the Mountain ✨ - UtM where dark!Rhys is High King and Feyre becomes his personal pet.

Lead Me Not Into Temptation ✨ - Lady of Spring Feyre gets kidnapped and taken back to the NC to be shared between the batboys.

At the Edge of Forever ✨ - On Feyre's wedding night, Rhysand comes to claim his right to the first night.

Ravenous ✨- Driven mad by loneliness and Amarantha's torture Under the Mountain, and unaware of their connection, Rhys takes young Feyre by force to sate his uncontrollable lust.

june in her eyes, in her heart january ✨ - Feyre and Rhysand break Tamlin's mind and use his body to ensure spring court will have an heir.

[kalee60]

@larkboyd Larissa! I'm sorry you're having a really crappy, awful day! I get you, I honestly do, the last few weeks have been really... Well... trying is probably a polite way of putting it.

So therefore in response to your cry for a distraction and a little care and love - I present you with this little one-shot - I quickly threw it together in the last hour so apologies for any mistakes.

I hope your day gets better and that when you get home tonight you can relax, put your feet up and remember that even though we are all on opposite sides of the world @darter-blue @iamsherlockedondoctorwho and me (plus so many more) are always there for you 😘

Enjoy this Merthur fic made just for you!

*~*~*~*~*~*

Merlin sighed heavily as he hung his coat over the back of his chair, seeing that he was the only one in the lab's office once again. Frustration didn't even begin to cover it, especially when his phone started to ring almost immediately. 

Eyeing the most hated piece of technology on his desk critically, Merlin tried to work out telepathically if he could figure out who was calling.

A rap on the partition window between his office and the next made him jump. Gaius was staring directly at him, giving him the Eyebrow of Contempt, a phone to his ear and pointing towards Merlin's, which hadn't ceased it's relentless mating call.

"Welcome to Camelot Labs, this is -"

"- Merlin you fool, it's me."

Merlin looked up to see Gaius run a hand over his face tightly, oh right. Maybe he shouldn't have gone out the evening before.

"Were you at the tavern again last night, are you still drunk?"

Looking heavenward, Merlin finally sat down, booting his computer up and wedging the phone between his ear and shoulder.

"It's called a pub, Gaius, and what do you need, I'm extremely busy." He proceeded to place each of his three coloured pens (blue, black and red) neatly next to his blank notepad, adjusted his takeaway coffee so the pattern on the cup faced him, then picked up the red pen and wrote his name with a flourish on top of the page. The heart over the I, probably the best one he'd ever drawn.

"You're on your own today."

"What?" Merlin yelled, dropping the phone to glare at his boss who just shrugged in return, the Eyebrow suddenly looking a little more friendly in the presence of Merlin's plight. He picked up the god awful device to exclaim hotly, "You can't do that to me! I can't hold the fort down by myself, take all these calls, I'm not a wizard that can magically conjure a second Merlin."

Gaius did not look impressed at his sarcasm, Merlin grumbled some more and took a long pull off his coffee. It ceased to satisfy.

"I'm trying to get one of the boys from marketing down here to help."

"Oh no, no you don't. This is why you're calling me through the window? Isn't it? You're too scared to stand before me and tell me - I'm telling you, you can't send me one of those lunk-heads, those clotpoles who wouldn't know their arse from their -"

"- their what Merlin?"

"Gaius no!" But Merlin was speaking to nothing, Gaius had hung up and was suddenly nowhere to be seen. Gritting his teeth, Merlin spun around to watch Arthur fucking Pendragon walk over and put his bag down at the desk… the desk right. Next. To. Merlin.

He wasn't having it. Arthur was the biggest douche to walk the hallways of Camelot, always pushing Merlin's buttons in meetings, and generally acting like a Prince holding court. It didn't help that his father Uther ran the company.

"And what brings you down to the bowels of the Camelot Labs?" Merlin snarked, then opened up his emails only to see a hundred new ones. Oh god, his day was over and it hasn't even begun.

"Gaius said you needed help, so here I am. I can go if you like."

Merlin gave Arthur the side eye, "can you read reporting figures to let departments know their results?"

Arthur nodded and sat his coffee cup down, seeing that it was from the same place Merlin bought his. Huh, maybe his taste wasn't that awful.

"Can you use the online filing system for collections and batch records?"

The nod came again, while Merlin watched Arthur place two pens either side of his notepad. Rookie. He wouldn't be lending his red pen out, even if Arthur begged. And that was not an image Merlin needed to see in his mind. Arthur on his knees, walking towards him… begging and naked.

"Fuck," Merlin exclaimed, noting how Arthur raised a brow sardonically at him. "Can you use a phone?"

"Can I use a… really? Look, just tell me what you need me to do and I'll do it. And don't be a dick about it."

Scowling, Merlin quickly showed Arthur the phone, the programs and what he needed done. He ignored the crisp, woodsy scent that clung to Arthur's skin as he leant over him, and he most definitely ignored when Arthur's arm brushed against his then left it pressed there, for almost a minute. Not that Merlin was counting.

Yes, Arthur was helping, and it was much better than being there alone, but Merlin, although very vocally did not like Arthur, had always found him unfairly attractive. And that set him on edge, made him feel itchy under his skin, knowing that Arthur, who was basically royalty on the London scene wouldn't even look twice at someone like him. So it was much easier to be an arse.

Four hours into their forced working conditions, Merlin had to admit that Arthur was actually more of a help than a hindrance. And it grated his nerves.

"Maybe next time, you should write the batch into the system before you give out the results."

Arthur's brows were in his hairline as he turned to face Merlin, and he felt a flush rise up his cheeks, it honestly didn't matter the order you did it in, but he had to say something.

"You really don't like me do you?"

The retort died on his tongue when he realised Arthur was serious.

"Err, well, it's not exactly that, I actually think you're -" his phone rang, thankfully halting anything else he might blurt out unintended. 

A few minutes later he was off the phone and typing again, lost in calculations and figures when he heard the chair next to him roll over the floor, and it didn't stop.

Startled he looked up into bright blue eyes, eyes that were only a few inches away.

"You were saying?"

Merlin's cheeks filled once more and he couldn't help the small gulp, audible in the quiet lab. Oh god.

"I was saying that I think you're a complete arse, " Arthur's eyes narrowed at his words, "but if you had a red pen, and stopped taking mine, I'd actually admit you've been a huge help today."

Arthur's face transformed into a grin and Merlin couldn't help mirror it, having never been on the receiving end of it before, or had he, and he'd just blocked it out? But Arthur was still too close, within touching distance and as if realising it for the first time as well, Arthur ducked his head, before looking up again.

"Can I buy you a drink after work, Merlin?"

Startled, Merlin floundered for a moment, uncertain what was happening and why Arthur Pendragon was asking a lab tech out.

"With you?"

Arthur's laugh was deep and fond, another anomaly, "yes with me. I thought you were smart?"

"I am, thank you very much, ask anyone and they'll tell you that I can -"

"- no Merlin, I meant I've been flirting with you for months and you've completely missed it, haven't you?"

Merlin's mouth was agape, he knew it, Arthur knew it, and he snapped it shut. Arthur thought he was...? He wanted to go for drinks and...?

"I'm taking that as a yes on both counts."

"My god you're arrogant..." Merlin started but faltered when Arthur grinned broadly at him.

And feeling off balance wasn't something Merlin relished and as Arthur started to wheel his way back to his desk, he reached out, fingers tangling in the collar of Arthur's shirt and yanked him back. The wheels squealing on the floor.

Falling forward he pressed his lips against Arthur's, feeling the shock run through the other man's body, and Merlin smirked until Arthur's hand came up to cup his cheek, thumb running over the skin softly, reverently then pushed forward into the kiss. Oh. He'd not expected the feel of tongue against his, the slip of their lips as they deepened the kiss, nor hear the small unbidden moan falling from Merlin's throat.

It was the sweetest and most perfect first kiss he'd ever received.

"Well that shut you up for a minute." 

Well it was until Arthur spoke. "One drink, that's all you get Pendragon."

And with a conceited smirk that hit Merlin directly in the guts, and a push of his chair, Arthur put his headset back on and looked Merlin directly in the eye.

"Perfect, I like my coffee black in the morning, preferably before I get out of bed."

And Merlin could do nothing but snort and shake his head fondly as he answered his phone, greeting the person on the other end brightly, holding Arthur's blue sparkling eyes in his gaze. Maybe it wasn't going to be such a terrible day after all.

[rixxy8173571m3w1p3]

The Truths Found On Petram Viridios IV (3/?)

A/n: this is a long chapter. Hope you guys like it. In this chapter I referenced @hoodoo12 fic Inked

Read Part 1, Part 2

________

Chapter 3: Do You?

"Are you having a good time?" he wondered as you were picking at your meal, and drawing faces in it.

"It's been pleasant enough." you admitted; shifting in your seat to sit up properly. "You've certainly made it easy on me."

You appreciated how the time passed so easily with the chemist's want and eagerness for conversation. He was well-spoken, and nothing lacked but whether it was you or your wandering mind, you had the feeling of wanting to go home; to relax on Rick's couch and watch a silly movie, but the night would go on. Intrigued by your earlier statement, V'gha studied you for a moment, not so unlike the way Zeta-7 would. Flexing his thick fingers, and smirking as though he had found the secrets of the universe and not intending on sharing it, he rested his chin on his now clasped hands."Would you care to elaborate?"

"Sure. I believe it's because, despite our differences, you're not so bad. I was worried that you were going to be overly serious, but it's been fun chatting with you."

"Well," he started, "I hope you won't be offended by me saying this, but I thought you were going to be more Neanderthal."

"You know," you giggled. "I get that a lot."

It never occurred to you to expect anything to really happen right now, but through half-lidded eyes, there were flecks of melancholy along with another emotion you couldn't quite detect. It passed quickly as light amusement colored his voice. "Is self-deprecating humor common among your kind? It doesn't matter. You nonetheless contain an intellect that I can only describe as affable. Are all humans this way?"

"I don't know, I can't speak for my kind, but I can speak for myself. I think in my case," You considered with seriousness, trying to refrain from sharing too many details. "it's what happens when you live as I do; close to a mad genius who enjoys his work as much as his garden. No really," you paused, playing around with your cloth napkin. "it's nothing special. I wish I could give you a highly detailed explanation, but I don't consider myself much of an intellectual. I do learn something new everyday. I think that counts for something."

Nodding in agreement, he made an attempt to consume his meal of fried klema paste, but could only manage a small bite as he too gave up on trying to believe it was halfway edible. "If I would've been in my lab, I could've shown you a recipe for a formula that attracts insectoids large enough to feed a family for a month. Even the bitter, old, beetletoids would taste better than what we've been served tonight."

You had a feeling that the meals were chosen by a machine that couldn't determine what would be better; pleasing the taste buds or feeding the vitamin deficiencies; it seemed to be the latter.

"I'm sad to tell you that I don't eat insects or insectoids. Though," you smiled. "I appreciate the sentiment. Where I'm from, you either love them or despise them. There isn't much of an in-between. For my part, I admire them. Like, there's these cute little guy's called roly-polys. They kind of look like little pills and they hang out in dead leaves and stuff. Oh, and don't even get me started on iridescent insects. They're just so beautiful, like living jewels. Too bad I don't have an eloquent explanation to give you."

"Do you mean to say that insectoids or insects as you refer to them, are minuscule creatures where you're from? How fascinating. And stranger still," he gestured at your outfit. "I was just thinking that you appear somewhat iridescent yourself."

He must've been referring to the sequins on your dress which were mildly reflective and multichromatic. "That was the point," you joked readily. "to look as though I could fly away at any moment. At least that's the story I'm sticking with, but don't tell anyone I left my private jet at home."

"Well, it does suit you. Has anyone told you that?"

If he meant either your dress, attitude, or both, then Rick had but you weren't going to tell him that. "No, but thank you."

"Really," he insisted. "I mean it. I…..I can't help but feel as though I know you." Leaning slightly forward, though not so much that it would violate the law, and squinting, he wondered. "Are you sure we haven't met before?"

The multiverse thing was another classified subject on the infinite list of what you weren't allowed to talk about. For all you knew, he might've met another version of yourself or met you in passing in your travels with Rick. "No, we haven't. Maybe I remind you of someone."

Realization struck him, and he dug around in his pockets and pulled out a blank white card. Laying it out on the table, he pressed the corner of it, and it produced a hologram; it was a Salamandrian with vibrant coloring and stripes that made you wonder if they glowed in the dark. "That's why I've been perplexed. You remind me of her; an old colleague of mine."

"She's beautiful."

"Yes, I thought so too. We used to work in the same lab together and were close to a breakthrough which could've assisted with premature aging which my species are prone to, but it wasn't meant to be. We ran out of funding and while working on another project, she collapsed. Before I knew it, she succumbed to rapid aging. Cha'thxa was amiable like yourself and loved to joke around. I believe that's why we were good friends."

"It's always the good ones. I'm sorry."

Replacing the card back into his pocket, he sobered. "It's alright. That was half a lifetime ago, but it's odd how events can trigger these recollections. Thank you."

"For what?"

"For these interactions of ours. It made me feel youthful."

What? Now that couldn't be right. If it hadn't been such an odd thing for him to say, you wouldn't have given a second thought to how he had spoken and carried himself. Really, you thought he was younger than yourself. "How old are you exactly? You don't look mature."

Taking a long sip of his beverage, he admitted with amusement. "Let's just say that the equivalent in human years is roughly 64.322 years old."

"What? No way. I wouldn't have ever guessed, but it shows what I know."

Though you weren't an expert on reptiles either, so how could you have known?

"Would it have really mattered? The only difference it would have made was perhaps in the way you would've treated me. I don't enjoy being treated as though I'm feeble-minded and will collapse at any moment."

"I promise, I wouldn't have."

"If only it were that simple. I've done the same, except I did the opposite and discriminated against someone far younger than I was and believed them foolish, but now that I've seen more of the world, and have familiarized myself with the universe through my travels and mostly through my studies, I realize how wrong I was. These days, I intend to live out the rest of my life to the fullest and to not be ashamed of it. And keeping in mind with that," he paused, ruminating on what he was about to ask. He continued. "I hope this isn't presumptuous of me to ask, but I'd love to invite you to my home planet." And with that winning, sharp-toothed smile, he explained. "Warm bodies are now allowed to visit and I would love to show you my dwelling. I believe you'd enjoy the view of the river. You seem to be the type that would never tire of good company."

It was a shame that he was such a fascinating creature, for you two might've been able to be good friends in a different life. "I do enjoy good company and most likely I would love the river, but under my current circumstances, I'm sorry to say it probably wouldn't be a good idea."

Calmly, he wondered. "Is it because of that human we saw a few hours ago is your mate?"

"Yes," you answered without hesitation. "I would consider him so."

"Forgive me then, for I didn't know, but I should have come to that conclusion." he remarked sheepishly. "You reek of him and your hormones changed every time I asked you about him."

"Look," you sighed, feeling a little embarrassed at the series of events which led up to this. "it's alright. I think it's the guidelines of this event that prevent us from being in each other's presence, but even if it's a crime, I wish he was here. I'm sorry if I acted out of place otherwise."

Giving you a wink, V'gha rose and gently took your hand; not only was it against the law, but against his character. You were going to pull away, but he said in Rick's voice. "Terminate simulation."

______

You removed the headset you had forgotten you were wearing. "Oh no, did I mess up again? Would I have died of food poisoning? Dysentery? I swear this is harder than the Oregon Trail."

"N-no, you did alright." he said at first, thoughtfully tapping at charts across his multiple screens set up. "Every time you were presented with a-a challenge, you followed the protocols and procedures just as you were instructed, but it's when you depart the ship which has my calculations going all over th-the place. Gosh, I now realize that it - it doesn't matter which of the guests are assigned as your companion. There is a 33.682% chance that they'd take a romantic interest in you, while there's only a 7% chance of you taking interest in them."

"Ricky, what in the world are you talking about?" You were sure that all of it was simply meant to be a learning experience and that none of it was real. However, considering it was meant to be a realistic simulation, the possibility of romance was there, despite how minimal the chances were. "I thought the reason we were going through the simulation was so that I wouldn't jeopardize the mission. Am I to understand that you don't want me to go because you discovered there's a small chance that a guest or two might fall for me?"

He scratched the back of his neck, wary to meet your questioning gaze. "Gee, I wouldn't have phrased it th-that way. I just....I-I don't like it."

"Oh my goodness," you couldn't help but exclaim. "Rick, are you jealous?"

It was always surprising when he was for it happened so rarely, and when it did you were more flattered then concerned. You continued. "I thought these scenarios always end the same way. You know I only want to be with you, even at the risk of my life. Why these aliens would take an interest in me, I'll never know, but it's cool that the people I'm assigned to are fascinating characters. Doesn't it prove that I'm ready for this mission? I kept the sharing of valuable information to a minimum, and I got along with mostly everyone."

"Gee, I don't know. Y-you're almost ready. However," he pointed at his computer screen. "there are anomalies in some of the earlier models which are concerning. In scenario 3, 7, and 15, the chances of my extermination were 18.475% because I-I allowed myself to get distracted from the mission. In scenarios 17, 19, and 25, there's such a minuscule change that we can forget them altogether. Yet, in the last five scenarios, especially this last simulation, it jumped to 42% and I ended it before things w-would've gone sour. Golly, studying the patterns between them all taught me that you're attractive t-t-to multiple species."

"What can I say, must be my animal magnetism." you teased as you wiggled your eyes brows.

Thoroughly worried, he sighed. "It appears so."

"Come on Ricky," you softened. "I'm only kidding. Listen, why don't you disguise yourself as V'gha, while one of your robot clones handles the mission? Out of all of them, V'gha was one of the nicest. We can knock him out temporarily."

"That could work, but that's highly risky."

"How so?"

"Because staying alive means I-I can't do this."

Wrapping an arm about your waist, the beginnings of a smile were taking place. "For this, I'd get my arms chopped off. It's due t-to the fact that centuries ago a war broke out from a single incident that occurred b-between two rivals who fought for the love of a Milleannos grounds protector whose sole purpose was to guard and tend to the bud that would never bloom in their lifetime. So, this kind of behavior between us is a big no-no. At least as non-royals of Petram Viridios IV." And pressing a kiss to your temple, he chuckled. "I don't know what'd happen to me if I did that, but I-I wouldn't want to find out."

"Do the inhabitants of that planet learn their traditions through tall tales?"

"I-I don't know, but it doesn't seem that far-fetched. It's um - it's possible that over time, they've needed t-to learn sets of skills in order to survive in the once harsh terrain, but seeing how they were able to preserve their culture for hundreds of thousands of years, they must be doing something right. Still, knowing all this, I-I doubt I could keep my cool and stay away from you. Apparently, the simulations tell me the same thing."

"In that case," you softened. "I might have to remove myself from this mission. After all, I don't want you to think I'm trying to woo a few strangers."

"Boy, I-I didn't mean it t-t-to sound that way."

"Of course not, but you told me the truth. And you're entitled to it in some respects. Though, while you spoke of data and calculations, you didn't ask me how I felt. Why not dear? I'm not ashamed to tell you."

Yet, he seemed ashamed to ask. "Did - did you feel anything?"

Smoothing out the lines about his mouth and eyes with your fingers, you confessed. "I felt flattered by their attention, and their company wasn't that bad. I felt……well, like a person in society, who meets and meets dozens of people, and only really takes interest when the conversation is somewhat comfortable and familiar, but I wanted you there to enjoy it too. " Pointing towards the monitors, you continued." If you take a closer look at the data on my brain waves, changes of hormones, and heart rate, then you'll see where my mind and heart truly was. In nearly all of them, I saw parts of you. Not so much physically, but there were personality traits that were so much like your own, I almost didn't feel so lonely. Yet, I never stopped searching for you in them, and in the world around me, in silence, in smiles over knowings, and in reminiscences, hoping you would come and could be in my reach."

Resting his hand atop yours, he sighed. "Th-that explains a few things."

"Does it? I know you were watching as it played out. And don't think I didn't know what you did this time around. I know it was you on that stage, veiled, and far away. Was that also part of the simulation? It…it felt so real. Somehow our souls were closer then they'd ever been."

"I added the possibility of being asked t-to play the Tremen orb bush. When played, it does induce a trance-like state, but during that part of the simulation, I-I tried to keep you calm because y-you were in the beginning stages of a panic attack."

It must've been because of the claustrophobic feeling of being in a chamber. So you hadn't been alone. "Dear, did you hold me and keep me safe?"

"In a manner of speaking. Y-you weren't in any immediate danger, but I didn't want you to feel uncomfortable. So I - I moved my chair over, held your soft hands," he confessed shyly. "and talked to you for a little while. It must've helped for soon enough your vital signs were back to normal."

Yes, he was that sort of man; the kind who'd want to take care of you, and make sure you're alright; who'd give up a day in his garden to spend a dozen ensuring that within dreams you'd live to see another. What did you ever do to deserve him?

"I see. You know Rick, despite not bringing it up, I'm sorry that I had to pretend not to know you."

"That's okay."

He understood, way too easily did he understand. Digital planes with hundreds of foreign figures, blades of grass duplicated to fill in spaces, dreamland feelings which were wisps of real ones, he withstood them all. Slipping in and out of realities were preparations for the real tests which had and would continue to come your way. You admired his fortitude because till now he's dealt with the hardships incurred purposely and accidentally.

"Even if it was potentially part of the mission, and you knew I had to do it, it didn't feel good. How….how could I hide the fact that I have such a wonderful friend? You've been one of the dearest, closest friends that I've ever had."

Leaning down, he touched your forehead with his; releasing a breath you didn't know he had been holding. "El mayor - el mayor obstáculo para el amor es… es el temor s-secreto de no ser dignos de ser amados."

"But you are worthy." you reassured him.

"So I am." he accepted.

"Dear, in trying to protect what we have, lying was necessary. Yet, I don't want to pretend that we aren't anything. I love you too much to do that. I don't have any sign or mark of belonging to anyone, and that could've been one of the reasons there were misunderstandings. With V'gha and the others, I was only being friendly."

"I-I know."

"Even if you know, I'm still going to remind you." Resting a hand on his chest, his nervous heart seemed to dance. "Underneath my hand, lies the kind heart of an emotional, passionate genius, and I wouldn't trade that for anything in the world."

Holding you a fraction tighter, his breath ghosted your cheek. "Really?"

"Mhm."

"Can I-I tell you something?"

"Yeah?"

"Everyday with you is better than the last. If we lived on Venus," he chuckled. "our days would've been 5,832 hours long. That's th-the equivalent of 243 Earth days."

"That's a long time. Hmm," you sighed, relishing in the nearness of him; breathing in the scent which wafted off his sweater and labcoat. You thought to yourself, this is how it should always be. "I wish I could've been born sooner so you wouldn't have had to be lonely. If I could've done that much, I would've been able to repay you. Still, despite my disbelief about our relationship at times, it's one of the reasons I carry the necklace. You know, the one you had given me on that memorable day that you were…" you paused as you felt him sag into himself, pulling away from you slightly as though he were ashamed. You continued on. "on that day when those Guard Ricks came because you were needed on the citadel. I regret that I put you through so much stress that day, but I'm glad you don't resent me for it." Pulling out the necklace, you couldn't help but tear up a little. "I look at this beautiful gift every time I need to be reminded that you always believed in me, adored me, and was part of your world."

"Y-you're not part of it, you are my world."

"And you are mine. There's no way I'll ever forget you."

Though, there was a chance you could or that he could have your memories erased; there were things you weren't supposed to know, but did. There had been stranger cases before, and just in case, you had made copies of your memories. "Why, if you ever have to use that memory eraser thing on me or on yourself, I promise I'll remember for the both of us. So please," you urged, giving him a half-impatient, half-loving shake. "don't think that what we have is so easily broken, because I love you and believe in what we are together."

Neither of you spoke for a while after that, but he gave your hands a good squeeze when he came to a resolution. "What if….what if I gave you a sign?"

"I'd think of an Ace Of Base song," you lightly teased. "and then I'd wonder what you could mean."

Rubbing your back, he said above a whisper. "I mean t-t-t-to say, do you…..¿Quieres casarte?"

"What? Did you just…can you repeat that?"

"D-do you want to get married?"

Pulling away from him, you wondered. "Wait, is this real?"

He nodded. "Y-yes."

"And I'm not in a lotus-eater machine right?"

Smoothing out your hair, he confessed. "N-no, I hope not."

After spending days going through multiple simulations, it was easy to assume that everything wasn't real, and was still part of another simulation within a simulation. You pinched yourself and saw that everything was in place. It's not that you weren't happy, it was just that this was a surprise you hadn't been expecting. For his part, he studied you and found that he liked what he saw and pulled out a little box. "I had wanted the moment t-to be perfect, but I don't think that's possible. I can't…..I don't want to be without you anymore."

"I think I need to sit down for this."

Leading you over to the computer chair, you took a seat while he stood before you; antsy and ready to confess. "Mi corazón, I have wanted to do this for so long, but I - I was too afraid t-t-to ask. I think now, I finally can."

Removing his labcoat, and setting it down, he pushed up the sleeve of his sweater; displaying the tattoo he had gotten a few years ago; a single sunflower with such detail it almost looks three dimensional. If it weren’t for the curve of his arm, it would appear that he took the bloom, shrunk it down, and simply laid it on his inner forearm. "When I got this, I wanted something as beautiful as you with me, always, and - and sunflowers are your favorite. You told me they were the epitome of happiness."

You nodded. "My best memories are associated with them."

"I suppose that still holds true, so I'm going to put my faith in that. To explain, I would like to tell you a few things concerning happiness. Everyday I-I go to work, I look forward to the moment I get to see you when I return. Though, when I come home, and the house is quiet, it's easy to remember that I live alone. However, when I see that the pillows have been rearranged in a way I um - in a way I hadn't left them, or find a mug in the sink, or piles of books that hadn't been read yet, I know I'm not alone; that y-you've been here. Gosh," he sniffled, doing his best not to cry. "when I see your sleeping figure on the couch or in the hammock outside, I think to myself that I want this t-t-to be my life. T-to be our life. You're what's missing in th-the equation to my happiness. When I met you, it's like the sun finally came out and I could finally bloom. We might carry bits of - of happiness, but I-I feel incomplete without you by my side. And I think y-you feel the same."

Taking hold of your left hand, he kissed it and his voice was colored with happiness again. In earnest, he wondered. "So, my beautiful little sunflower, as far as getting married is concerned, do you - do you want to?"

Tbc

[rogue-barnes-16]

SOMETHING ELSE

Request: May I please have a Roger Taylor imagine where you have really bad anxiety and he doesn’t know but he comes to see you having a panic attack and helps you and lots of fluff???

Pairing: Ben!Roger Taylor x Reader

Genre: angsty fluff

Tags:

Requested by: @serpentwithatardis

Permanent taglist: @notexactlythatgirl @thisismysecrethappyplace @sofreakinmanyfandoms @pizzarollpatrol @bubblycypress87 @sinviix @loislp @lovenaturefirst @dyanna-corona @2ptonpt @goodnightmode @disneyprincessbuffyannesummers @mannls @cutie1365 @catch22inareddress @mybooradley @sebastianisasnack @butifulsoul125 @unlikelygalaxygiver

Warnings: anxiety attack, some language

A/N: it took me soo long to finish this, I'm really sorry, I'm falling behind due to the exams. Also, I hope you enjoy, and about the rest of the requests, they're coming <3

ROGER'S P. O. V.

Y/n wasn't exactly shy.

She wasn't exactly quiet.

She wasn't exactly distant.

Y/n was something else.

I didn't notice that something the first time Deaky had introduced her to the group as a potential second vocal and piano player. At that moment she was just a melodic voice and a pretty face.

She soon became a member of the band, though, and the more time she spent with us, the better I got to know her, and the clearer it was for me that she was something else.

However, and even though I really tried for a while, we never turned out to be close friends —mostly because she seemed to avoid spending time with me alone—. Maybe she didn't like me that much, maybe I had rubbed her the wrong side.

"That was amazing" I commented when Y/n finished singing her part for Bohemian Rhapsody. "really beautiful"

"Thanks, Roger" she gave me a small smile whilst taking off the headset to give it to Freddie, who was the next to sing. "Your falsetto was very impressive"

"Thank you" I replied, helping Freddie with the microphone. When I turned to look at Y/n again, I saw her putting on her jacket. "Where are you going?" I asked confused.

"Oh, I need some air" she answered, grabbing her cigarette pack, along with a lighter. "too many hours in the studio"

"wait," I walked to the bench to grab my jacket "I'll go with you, I could use some air" before I reached the bench, though, we heard the door shutting and when I turned around, Y/n was nowhere to be found. "I... What the-" I shot a glance at Freddie, who was already looking at me. "why does she always do that?"

"why do you care that much, darling?" Freddie teased with a knowing smile on his face. When I stayed shut instead of replying with a snarky comeback, he let out a chuckle. "she told you, Rog. She needs air, give her a break."

After Freddie's teasing, I realized I really liked Y/n in a way I hadn't liked any girl before. Her amazing self was enough to attract all my attention like a moth drawn to the light.

It was due to the amount of attention I paid to her every day, that I felt terribly disappointed with myself when I finally got to know what was that something else in Y/n.

It was after our first press conference. It was more intense than we expected, and, even though most of the questions were for Freddie, a surprising amount were for Y/n too, related to the fact that she was the only girl in the band.

"Y/n, some people say that John was your boyfriend and that's how you got in the band." I first looked at Deaky and then at Y/n. "is that true?"

"who said that?" she asked, quite confused.

Before the previous reporter could keep talking, another one took their place. "Y/n, it is said that you're not attracted to men, what do you have to say about it?"

"I thought we were here to talk about our music?" Deaky asked, noticing that Y/n was getting uncomfortable.

"are you romantically involved with Roger Taylor?"

Y/n took a deep breath, trying to calm herself. "is there any bloody questions related to our songs?" I growled at the microphone.

"Is it hard to be a girl surrounded by men?"

"are you the one choosing the band's outfits?"

Another deep breath. Y/n rested her forehead against the palm of her hand while her foot tapped fast against the floor.

"do you get jealous when your band mates are seen with groupies?"

"are you open about being with more than one of your band mates?"

"fuckin' hell" her breathy whispered was too quiet for it to reach the microphone in front of her, but it was enough for me to hear it. "fuck fuck fuck fuck-" her breaths turned short and shaky.

"Y/n" I called her name, trying not to seem worried when I saw her eyes shutting and her jaw clenching. "Y/n..." the moment I put a hand on her knees to stop her leg from bouncing, her eyes opened widely.

"Okay, seems to me like you're in the mood to waste your opportunity to interview us" Freddie stated, hitting the table before getting up. "c'mon darlings, let's go"

"Lead the way Freddie" Brian stated, getting up to follow Freddie out of the press conference room. Deaky did the same, and Y/n and I followed him closely, leaving behind us the reporters' protests. "I already hate this part of our job."

"it's only the first" Deaky reminded Brian. "what are you planning on doing when-" he stopped talking when Y/n jogged past us and got into the bathroom. "shit."

"is she Okay?" Brian asked as we stopped walking to stare at the bathroom she had gotten in. "should we wait or...?"

"I... Think we should give her space" Freddie stated, gesturing us to keep moving to the exit. When they realized I wasn't following them, they stopped off once more. "Rog-"

"no" I plainly stated, making my way to the bathroom.

"she needs space" Deaky warned me.

I scoffed.

Space. She needs space. She needs air. She needs to be alone. She needs a moment.

"she needs a bloody friend, John" I retorted, stalking to the toilets' door. "you can go, but I'm staying." before they could reply anything else, I entered the toilets, closing the door behind me. "Y/n?"

I heard her before I saw her, since they were huge toilets.

I heard her gasping for air a couple of times before I rushed towards the noises. "Y/n-" her forehead was resting against the tiles of the wall, her chest going quickly up and down "are you-"

Her legs gave out and she felt on her knees, pressing one of her hands against her chest with her eyes wide open. "I c- I can't... I can't b-breathe" she tried to take a deep breath and she ended up gasping once more. "I-I-I- I'm I ca-"

It suddenly hit me, she was having an anxiety attack.

As soon as I realized that, I kneeled besides her, pulling her forearms for her to face me. "Y/n you have to- try... Try to breath deeply" I tried sounding as calm as possible, not wanting to make it worse with the fact that I was freaking out.

"I c- can't I-I'm sorry I-" she tried to do as I told her but she ended up gasping harder. "My chest hurts! Fuck fuck fuck fuck fuck fuck fuck"

She attempted to bend over and I made her sit up again, caressing her cheeks "Y/n, love, deep breaths okay? It's- it'll be over soon. Just- just take deep breaths" I moved closer to her, and, not knowing what else to do to calm her, I pulled to my chest.

"I can't-" she repeated, this time letting out a frustrated sob. "I'm sorry- I'm- I c- I'm sorry" she gripped the hems of my partially open shirt, attempting to hold onto something.

"You're gonna be okay" I whispered, rubbing circles on her back and trying to pull her even closer to me, something that was proven impossible when we only ended up almost lying on the floor. "it's just a moment, you'll be okay. Can you try to br-" she nudged her face against my chest and I couldn't feel her fresh tears on my bare skin, which made my heart break. "can you... Try to breathe deeply again?"

She nodded and I let one of my hands comb her hair. "o-okay... J-just... I-" she shifted slightly to rest only her forehead against my chest, before starting to take slow breaths.

I planted a kiss on the crown of her hair while she finally managed to slow down her breathing to an average rhythm. "see? You're okay" I whispered, letting her exhausted body rest over mine.

"I'm sorry" she mumbled, loosening the grip on my shirt. "I'm really sorry... It's been a while since I had one as strong as this one."

I stayed in silence, processing what she had just told me, before speaking. "you... You have... Anxiety?" She nodded against my chest, not daring to look at me. "why didn't you tell us."

"I... Deaky knows" she whispered, shifting her position when I moved us to rest against the cold wall. "but I asked not to tell you all." she sighed. "I thought I had it under control. I didn't want you to see me... D-different?"

I moved her to be able to face her. "different as if... Fragile" she nodded at my guess, shunning my gaze. "Y/n? Does... Do you avoid me because of this?"

"I don't avoid-"

"you do" I argued, rapidly regretting it when I saw her shying away from me. "I'm sorry- this- this isn't the moment to talk about it, I'm sorry" I apologized raising my hands in surrender. "I just- I... Fuck I shouldn't be saying this but I- I really like you"

"I-" she opened her mouth a couple of times before she spoke. "I know... Freddie told me" I opened my eyes widely, feeling my cheeks reddening. "Sorry"

"fuck... See?" I questioned passing both my hands over my face. "I shouldn't have said anything, I knew you were avoiding me. I'm sorry... Can we pretend this didn't happen?" I dared to look at her and I saw her with her lips parted and her eyes dug into my form, making me blush even harder because bloody hell, she was so beautiful.

"You're blushing"

"I know, can you not say it out loud?" I groaned, covering my face once more. "shit." I felt her hands tugging mine, moving then away from my face before her lips brushed against mines. "what..."

"I didn't want you to deal with... This" she said, letting go of my hands, only for me to hold hers. "that's why I... Was avoiding you. That's also why I didn't say anything. Also because I don't think I'm your type and you're-"

"my type?" she whispered a doubtful 'yes' while my hands moved to hold her hips, rubbing circles with my thumbs over them. "I've never liked a girl the way I like you, Y/n. I don't know what's my type, but you for sure are above all that shit" it was her time to blush. "If you want to try... I'm down for it."

She started to chew her lower lip and I leaded one of my thumbs to her lips, to stop her from doing that. "I mean... Even with the anxiety thing?"

"yeah"

"well then..." she inhaled deeply before nodding. "okay. We can try... Because I really want to."

A smile former on my lips and I leaned on, capturing her lips on another kiss. "thanks for giving me a chance" I whispered, looking at her eyes.

She smiled back and rested her forehead against my chest once again, this time feeling peaceful instead of distressed.