#he was craving freedom all his life! he was fighting against people who were trying to decide for him against his will!

[mourn-and-watch]

y'all know the 'and i love you so much i'm gonna let you kill me' line from that one florence + the machine song but i just can't stop thinking about it. like it is the ultimate anders line. the ultimate handers line.

you know, anders's life is (was) about running. he's good at it. he invented new ways to escape for every occasion. he got rid of fereldan templars. he kinda got rid of the wardens. he stayed out of kirkwall templar's sight for years. he could kill people and abandon duties and get away with it because it was what he knew the best.

and then he did something that would shake the world. something that people would demand his head for. before they had demanded it for who he'd been born. and then they got the reason that could not be denied. and he didn't run.

no way that he couldn't. kirkwall was burning and panicking, he could mingle with the crowd and disappear and leave no tracks behind but he didn't. he stayed and he wholeheartedly believed that hawke would kill him.

he was waiting for his coup de grâce. he would rather die by the hand of someone he knew and loved than by the hand of the people he was successfully running from because they hated him and he hated them. more importantly, once he had taken the life of his first love because there had been no hope for him, no salvation.

and he believed there was no hope for him now as well.

(and if hawke doesn't kill him he's so inspired. he's eager to fight because he doesn't want to die. he still has so much to do and now his life is finally completely his, because the first time he doesn't run he's spared. instead of a brand of tranquility or another year of solitary confinement or a knife in the back, he gets to know that there's someone who loves him so much they won't give up on him. they won't become his silent judge and this is the way they save him: not by denying his ideals, not by stopping him from fighting for his cause, but by letting him know there's still hope)

[seths-rogens]

HERE IS THE REPEATED IMAGE OF THE LOVER DESTROYED

AO3 | Part 2

The sounds of battle were almost completely quiet by now. It had seemed, for a while, that the clanging of swords and the screams of wounded and dying men weren’t getting any quieter, no matter how far away they walked from the battlefield.

It was slow going. Stephen was unsteady on his feet, steadily losing more blood as they continued on. He only remained standing because of the weight Edmund took, hoisting his arm around his shoulder and steadying him at the waist.

One of Stephen’s hands sat clutching at the back of Edmund’s armour, while the other pressed tight against the wound on his abdomen. He could feel the warm, wet red of his blood slipping down over his fingers and dripping onto the forest floor. He had been stabbed before of course - it came as part of the job - but never quite like this. He could feel himself dying, his life slipping through his own weak grasp.

It was no longer a case of ‘if’, but ‘when’.

He hoped no one was following them, as he was surely leaving a stark crimson trail behind, and he would hate for them to catch Edmund. He deserved his freedom, not a cruel death at the hands of a man who craved power over all else.

Despite their opposing crests and colours, Stephen had become quite fond of Edmund over the previous months. He had been wary at first, of the man in the deep purple cloak who came to his chambers at night whispering the secrets of his enemies.

That was treason, he could be killed for that, people had been killed for less.

And yet, in spite of this, every Tuesday, at 9pm on the dot, when the castle was dark and the wains were sleeping, Edmund would slip in through the cracked window. He would sit at Stephen’s small dining table, a goblet of wine in both their hands, sipping idly as he detailed King Henry’s next nefarious plan. An invasion here, an execution there. His cruelty was becoming far too normal.

Stephen couldn’t tell you when their meetings progressed to more. When they moved from the table to the bed, lying next to one another like parallel streams. When Edmund’s standoffishness became tender, gentle. When they finally bridged that unspoken divide.

Edmund fantasised of a better, freer future. A peaceful one. He would whisper about it at night, under the blankets like they could hide from the world.

He believed Stephen would be the one to start and lead the revolution, to build an army and fight back. Take the crown for himself.

Stephen hadn’t been so sure. He was only a Lord, after all, presiding over a small town of a few hundred since the deaths of his parents. He didn’t think people would follow him - didn’t think they had reason to - but something about Edmund’s ferocity almost made him try anyway.

Stephen was surprised when the townsfolk rallied all too quickly to follow him. He turned to Edmund with a confused smile, receiving a told-you-so smirk in return.

They had a war to fight.

Yet now, here they were, a crown traitor traipsing through the forest with the dying would-be king half hanging off his back.

Stephen dug his heels, bringing them to a stop. “You’ll have to go on without me. I don’t think I’ll make it much further.”

Edmund stumbled, nearly dropping Stephen from around his shoulders. Stephen winced, sucking in a breath as the action tugged on his wound.

Edmund searched his face, trying desperately to meet his eyes. Stephen denied him.

“No. I cannot. We must keep moving.” Edmund grit his teeth, readjusting his grip and taking another step forward.

“Ed-Edmund… You must leave me, I am only slowing you down.” Stephen spoke desperately, avoiding Edmund’s watchful eye. It was over for him, he knew that, but he couldn’t let Edmund get caught. “If you stop me here you can still escape before someone comes looking.”

Edmund dropped his hold on the arm around his shoulders to instead grip Stephen’s jaw and force eye contact. His touch was first but still gentle. Edmund was always gentle. “I will not leave you, my liege. There is still time for you yet. Okay?”

A pit opened in Stephen’s stomach, he felt a prickle behind his eye. “Okay.” He whispered.

Stephen ducked his head. They took another step forward, then another.

“We keep walking,” Edmund grunted. “If we walk to the edge of the forest, we’ll see it. Your manor is just over the ridge. We can make it.”

He spoke with a sick sort of desperation, a refusal to be swayed ran tight like a bowstring down the line of his body. It was only a matter of time, Stephen knew, but if his presence offered Edmund comfort, then for this short while he would allow it.

They were quiet for a while - the only sound the squelch of wet leaves beneath their boots - as they made slow progress through the forest.

Stephen could feel his eyes drooping, his hand falling limp from where it clutched his side. He stumbled, falling to his knees and dragging Edmund with him. He heaved in a gasping breath as Edmund dropped to his own knees in front of him. He felt warm, calloused palms cup his cheeks, a thumb stroking softly over his cheekbone.

“You have to stand up, Sire. We’re almost there. I can see the break in the trees.”

“Edmund, I am no king.” Stephen covered Edmund’s hand with his own, wetting it with his blood. “I never was.”

“You were mine.” Edmund whispered. “You are mine.” He sniffled, biting back tears. “Come on, if you just stand up I can carry you, and we can make it. We can get you help.”

“No.” Stephen heaved a breath.

“Stephen, please.”

“No.” Stephen smiled. “It is my time. I have accepted that.”

“No.” Edmund shook his head. “No. We can still help you. I can still save you.”

“Edmund. My love. I am not long for this world.” Edmund choked out a sob. “Lay me down. If I am to pass, I would like to be comfortable.”

Stephen could only stare, taking in every feature of the other man’s face as he laid him down, as he cried for him. He was set down on a bed of leaves, soft green moss and small white flowers. It was a beautiful place to die, he only felt sorry to mar it with his blood.

Edmund knelt beside him, running tender hands through the dirty strands of his hair. “I do not want you to go. I am not ready.”

Stephen reached up, caressing Edmund’s cheek, stroking away a tear. “You will see me again.”

“Not soon enough.” Edmund cried, forcing a shaky smile.

Stephen could taste copper in his mouth, though he could no longer feel the pain of the hole in his side. He felt drunk, his movements sluggish. He smiled, but at the way Edmund flinched, he assumed it must be gruesome.

“Sunshine, my love. If I am to die, would you kiss me? Just once more? I have a long road ahead of me.” His voice was weak. Each word trailing after the other.

Edmund smiled, a beautiful sight for Stephen’s tired eyes. “Of course, my sweetheart. One for the road.” He chuckled wetly, leaning down and pressing a hard kiss to Stephen’s red lips.

___________________

When Edmund pulled away, still cradling his lover’s face, he sucked in a harsh breath. Stephen’s bleary eyes gazed up at the sky, to where the sunlight dappled its way through the high leaves like stars.

“Can you see that, Edmund? The stars are out already.” A soft smile fell upon his face, his eyes awe-filled. “Aren’t they beautiful?”

It was daylight. Several hours from night. Stephen was fading fast.

Edmund could not pull his eyes away from the man beneath him. He held back a whimper. “They are. Just like you.”

“Oh, Edmund. You flatter me.” Stephen laughed, his breath whistling in his chest. “Would you get my dear Robin. She does so love the stars, and I think I can see a new constellation. I’m sure she would like to name it. Though perhaps I should, I did find it first after all…”

“Yeah? What’re you going to name it, my dear?”

Stephen smiled, meeting Edmund’s gaze. “Mîn frîge, sunnanscîma. For you.”

Edmund laughed, though it sounded more like a sob.

Stephen’s eyes glazed over, a gentle smile still tugging on his lips. He fell limp in Edmund’s arms.

“No. No!” Edmund near yelled, shaking Stephen’s body in his arms. “No, please, it isn’t time yet. I need more time!” His voice cracked, dropping to a whisper. “We didn’t have enough.”

Edmund curled over Stephen’s chest, as tears spilled down his face - wracking sobs that shook his whole body - and mixed with the red blood that still painted his lips.

He cried until he was tired. Until his body felt weak and empty.

He pulled away, adjusting Stephen’s limbs so he was lying straight, clasping his sword against his chest. He looked dignified.

If not for the blood, he would have looked as if he was sleeping.

Edmund surrounded his body in the flowers he found around the edges of the meadow - pink corncockle and pale bluebells. He weaved him a crown of yellow blossoms and white snowdrops, and laid it to rest upon his head.

He looked regal. Like the king he was never able to be.

Edmund wiped the blood from Stephen’s mouth and knelt back. It was easier to pretend he was asleep. That with a nudge, or a whisper in his ear, his lips would pull into a smile and he would open bleary eyes. That he would tackle Edmund into the flowers, pressing kisses everywhere he could reach.

But Stephen lay still. He would not awaken.

Edmund sniffed, wiping the tears from his face. He leaned forward, cradling Stephen’s face in his palms and pressing one last, lingering kiss to his lips.

He stood on shaky legs and turned, began to walk away.

He couldn’t turn back. If he did, he’d never leave.

———————————————

aaaa hello it’s been a long time since i’ve written or posted fanfic so i hope everyone likes this!

i don’t have many steddie mutuals but it would be very cool to kinda join the gang lmao

sorry for the MCD, this came from a writing prompt i was given in one of my classes and i couldn’t help myself!

Mîn frîge, sunnanscîma = ‘My love, sunshine’ in Old English

reblogs appreciated!! <3

[reflections-of-mobius]

Anonymous asked:

Resilience for Murk?

[Positive Psychology OC Ask Meme! | Accepting!]

RESILIENCE– How do they handle loss or failure? What helps them stay resilient and bounce back from loss or failure?

That mostly depends on the source of its failure. If Murk fails in a task that has no opposing force (i.e., a timed task or project for which he is not skilled), then he just accepts the loss and moves forward- with plans forming for how to better handle it in the future. However, if he's presented with a failure caused by another party (i.e., losing a competition, or the entirety of Sonic 06) then it hits him very hard. Think- willing to get revenge hard- but he's working on toning that down, especially now that he no longer has the goal of world-wide destruction/combining with Iblis to drive him forward.

For Murk, the thing that helps it stand back up after a loss is simply 'I will try again- and next time, I will succeed'. It's driven by a need to do its best. The loss brought about from Sonic 06 brought him low, sure- but it was also a freedom for him, and an awakening. It freed him from the chains of craving being Solaris- and it showed him what it was like to be the loser- something he had refused to accept, initially, when it was captured years prior for research purposes.

There were several of these, the others will all be under a cut!

Wisdom for Bless! Or is it Bliss?

WISDOM– Are they open to other people’s perspectives? Do they look to history and past mistakes? What kinds of internal dialogue do they have about difficult situations?

It's Bless, you were right on the mark! And Bless is usually open to other's perspectives. While he won't deviate from his own unless he finds the new perspective to be better, Bless would never cut someone down for having a differing outlook compared to him. After all, that's part of what makes life interesting- and you aren't always going to meet people you agree with! It's more fun to learn where the differences lie, and continue forward regardless.

Short of killing others, Bless doesn't look to others' past mistakes to judge them on. He knows that not everyone has a good life, and sometimes, you gotta do what you gotta do- but he holds a line at taking a life. Unless it's for a damn good reason, i.e., because that person was intent on torture, murder, global domination, experimenting on sentient subjects, etc.,- he's against it. Of course, like anyone- Bless can also step over that line (try to kill his friends or his enbyfriend and you're fucked)... So he'd still be willing to hear someone out if they had a history of murder.

As for his internal dialogue- it's pretty upbeat! Even in rough situations, he's usually looking for a way to cool everyone down and diffuse whatever's got everyone up-at-arms. However, if it's a fight... There's usually a few dozen quips just on the tip of his tongue, alongside a general battle plan (factoring in everyone who's on his side and their abilities vs. the enemies' abilities, of course).

Leadership for Node

LEADERSHIP– Do they have clear, set goals? Do they take the consideration of others, or do what they will? Would they go out of their way to meet the individual needs of people around them, or create a more standardized all-in-one solution?

Node... Has no big, set goals with their life. Much like their boyfriend, Bless, they tend to just go with the flow.- With how many times Mobius has been threatened, and the amount of destruction that's unfolded, they worry about trying to set long-term plans, only for them to result in failure. However, in terms of little things, Node does hope someday to start selling their own homemade candles.

Node always lends a helping hand to those around them- often to their own detriment, actually. Even if they're burnt out or on the edge of collapse, they'll still try to help others... Something that has had Bless quietly trying to gesture for whoever's been talking to Node to say no.

As you can guess from the above, Node prefers to offer personalized solutions over generalized solutions. If they can, they'd rather make everyone happy by individualizing the solution as opposed to making something for the masses, that not all hands may enjoy.

Forgiveness for Tenebrosity?

FORGIVENESS– Do they obsess or linger on the bad things that someone did to them? Do they allow change to take place after they have been hurt, or do they fight against it? What negativities dictate or direct their decisions or life?

Me still with only the one icon for Ten, someone please get me off my ass-

Ten isn't one to linger on negativity, outside of being awoken from her naps early. She's the embodiment of everything dark- fear, death, destruction, violence, anger, you name it and she's got it.- Having to be the living embodiment of such things for Mobius means there isn't a lot of room for resentment, because (contrary to what one may think) Ten can understand the opposing party, usually quite easily. Just because she draws her power from the darker half of the coin doesn't mean she must enjoy it.

She allows change, but she's pretty slow at it- as much as Ten is decent with letting bygones be bygones (after having a massive blow-up, situation depending...). Change... Is not something Ten is highly accustomed to, having been locked in the same eternal cycle with her twin brother since the dawn of Mobius' first civilzation.

Ten acts as she does mostly out of guilt and regret for what she did when Dr. Eggman prematurely awoke her. Her rage spread all over the planet, literally ripped it apart- all because she got furious that she woke up early. The very idea that she nearly caused a planet-wide catastrophe many years too early... It makes her feel sick. She never meant to scare every citizen of Mobius so heavily, nor to give Dr. Eggman so much of her power- and she spends each day and night of her mobian life, at present, trying to make up for that enormous blunder.

However...

Tenebrosity knows, being what she is, that she is beyond forgiveness- no matter what she tries to do to make up for this one event, she will (inevitably) be awoken one day to cause far more damage...

Meaning for Tempest?

MEANING– Where do they believe they fit in the world around them? What provides them comfort? Do they think about their daily life and routine? Are they satisfied?

Tempest honestly isn't sure where she fits in the current world. Before she ever met Sonic, she was basically a shut-in- and she only grew to have friends because Sonic was the first person to reach out to her. She knows she is the living prison of both the Iblis Flame and Mephiles' Darkness- a living construct that has been reformed, in both body and soul, to keep the two entities forever separated, despite how close they may be.

In a way, Tempest views herself as merely an item- a place, and a monster. For all she has done for her Mobius, she failed in saving humanity. She failed in keeping Iblis in check- she nearly destroyed the world when she was Solaris, all because she was hungry. She is the prison. She is the jailor. She is Iblis and Mephiles' final resting place, and in a way, that is all she can bring herself to view herself as.

Tempest finds comfort in exploring ancient ruins. In a way, it's a reminder that while she did fail humanity... They still lived. They were transported to Earth, lived out their lives... Eventually, they were forgotten to time- but their legacy gave birth to a new planet- a whole new world. It's also where Tempest feels most at home, in general. Ruins have had a cornerstone in her life for some time now, from being where she finally felt emotions for the first time, to being where she realized humanity had not been erased by her Mephiles- merely misplaced to another world, a single universe away.

She finds comfort in her friends, as well.- Because unlike most of the mobians, Sonic and his friends don't see Tempest as a weapon or a bomb waiting to explode- they see Tempest as Tempest. Someone who's been through as much as the rest of them- and has a hard time expressing herself because she's afraid of what Iblis will do if she does.

Tempest thinks about her daily life and routine from time to time. It doesn't come across her thoughts all that often, since it's so normal to her... But it does show up, especially when she's wanting out of a situation.

Tempest is not satisfied with how her life has gone.- But she wouldn't trade it for another chance. She's grateful for the friendships and memories she's made, though she feels... As if what she tried to do wasn't enough. As though she has failed. Sure- Mobius is still here... But it's in tattered ruins. Humanity lived.- But on another planet. She still has the scars on her upper arms/shoulders and shoulder blades to remind her that, for all the good she has done- she is the vessel of evil. She failed when it mattered most, and had to rely on others for her saving grace. She wasn't enough.

[deceitful-darlings]

From the cursed post response what do you think yandere Dvalin would be like

Please bear with me, I’m still pretty early on in Genshin, so if anything for Dvalin comes up later on in the game I don’t know about it yet!

Dvalin, I feel he would be a protective yandere. He’s spent the majority of his life devoted to Mondstadt, even when he was Stormterror his thoughts driven by corruption were purely about Mondstadt and their betrayal of him. So when Venti grants him freedom, he’s lost. His life was spent either protecting Mondstadt, dormant, or under the influence of The Abyss Order, he’s never lived for himself, he doesn’t know what he’s supposed to do.

So he leaves for a while, trying to find a life for himself as Barbatos wished for him, he tries to live for himself and himself alone, but...he can’t. The part of him that craves human love, that wants them to understand him, it’s still there inside him and Mondstadt is the only place where people felt anything for him. But rumours and stories carry on the winds, how could they not reach his ears? The stories of how many of Mondstadt’s citizens are still angry and distrustful of him for his reign as Stormterror, despite him not being in his right mind during the time, how many don’t forgive him, despite it being their faults it happened in the first place, how his own people were preparing to turn against him and slay him rather than help him, and how the only reason he’s Dvalin again is because of a single traveler.

It hurts, how could it not? The people he’s spent most of his lifetime protecting still regard him in such a way, and to know that the person who defended him wasn’t even of Mondstadt. Someone who had cared enough to fight The Abyss Order and himself, all to save him. His pain leads him further from Mondstadt, taking refuge in the mountains, and his curiosity grows about this traveler as news of their exploits spread, The Saviour of Mondstadt, The Honourary Knight, through those stories alone he begins to worry about the human he’s indebted to.

They throw themselves into danger with little regard for their own safety, what if one day they simply aren’t strong enough to beat their opponents, what if while travelling Dragonspine they don’t get to a fire fast enough and die a cold, lonely death? The tales do nothing but stoke the fear in his heart, a dragon who’s lost nearly everything, who owes his life to you, what if you became his purpose? It makes sense to him, you saved him, is it not right that he protect you and love you in return? He can keep his ear to the wind, and when you find yourself straying into desolate territory, you might not find yourself coming back.

[fernweh-writes]

Your writing gives me so much life and wholesome vibes! ;-;💕 If you wouldn't mind could you do the slashers with a s/o who loves to make home cooked meals for them.

Ahhh, thank you so much hun <3 As someone who loves to cook and who’s goal in life is to be a spoiled housewife, absolutely.

-Fern

Slashers x S/O who likes to cook

slight nsfw content if you squint

Michael Myers

This man craves a sense of normalcy in his very peculiar life. After all, he was diagnosed with a case of crazy at a young age and ever since no one had made an effort to care about him. One of the main reasons he would ever keep you around would be because you fit the housewife role that he needs wants. You give him the one thing he always wanted that no one else ever could, domesticity.

Michael has a weird schedule and just sort of comes and goes as he pleases. This can make having a hot meal ready quite difficult, but once you begin a steady routine of cooking for him he starts to appear whenever you’re cooking. Well at least most of the time, stalking and killing can keep him very busy sometimes.

He’s not very picky about what you cook, so you have plenty of freedom to make whatever your heart desires. He’s certainly not going to complain. Although, if you remember his favorite meals and cook them for him from time to time he will be extra grateful. His gratitude is often expressed through becoming very handsy with you.

Likes to watch you cook! Again he loves the whole domestic thing and watching you serve him cook for him pleases him. Plus you just look so cute wearing an apron. Also loves how focused you can be. Don’t expect him to help you though, this is your job y/n.

Pretty sure everyone agrees that Michael has a major sweet tooth so if you bake him sweets he decides you’re never going anywhere… ever. He’s keeping you, end of story.

The only thing he ever helps with in the kitchen is licking the bowl when you bake. Snatches the spoon from you as well, he wants all of it.

Bo Sinclair

Another man that is very much into the housewife thing. Like he gets off on it.

We all know Bo isn’t quite right in the head, but we all love him anyways! He wants someone to serve him, after all he needs to be in charge and to have control over everything. This includes controlling the roles within his own home.

The fact that you willingly cook though and actually enjoy cooking sends him over the moon. He knew that he had made the right decision when he decided to keep you. This just makes him further believe that you were meant to be his.

Home cooked meals remind him of the good parts of his childhood. So watching you cook with an apron tied around your waist while humming and just being content with what you’re doing makes him melt. It’s also going to make him more likely to open up and be a little more vulnerable with you. Watching you cook just puts him at ease.

Cooking his favorite meals though is what really gets to him. Especially if you decide to go all out and be cheesy by “setting the mood” with candles and fancy silverware. He’ll make fun of you and pretend to hate it but the lack of malice in his voice gives him away.

You can often find him standing around the kitchen while you cook as well. This started once you asked him to try something once to see if you needed to add anything. Now he won’t stop waiting around for free samples.

Bo decides that winter is his new favorite season. The shop doesn’t have any heating and he also spends a lot of time chasing victims around the woods or down the streets. In other words, he’s spending a lot of time out in the cold weather. Walking into his warm house to find the sweetest wife in Ambrose putting a hot meal on a plate for him makes his day. Don’t be surprised if he begins to bring up his other ideas about how you can keep him warm.

Vincent Sinclair

Vincent isn’t obsessed with the whole housewife thing the way that Bo is. He could really care less if his s/o cooked or not after all he had survived this long.

But, Vincent often gets lost in his work. This leads to him losing track of time quite often, so skipping meals isn’t something out of the ordinary. It’s not that he means to it’s just so easy for him to forget unless his stomach starts growling.

He does love that you love to cook for him though. Anytime you bring food down to his workshop so that he doesn’t forget to eat he absolutely melts. He doesn’t know how you could be anymore perfect.

Although he doesn’t expect nor necessarily want his significant other to take care of him he does enjoy the fact that you do so anyway. It shows that you care about him in a way that he hasn’t been cared for in a very long time. Especially enjoys the sentiment of you making him his favorite meals. Not only do you take care of him, you take the time to remember the little things about him! He doesn’t think he could possibly feel more loved.

After the first time he watches you cook, he’s hooked. You just look so cute and content in the kitchen. Seeing you so happy and at ease puts him at ease. It lets him know that you’re happy in Ambrose and that you really do love him.

Unlike most of the other slasher, he will help you clean up the kitchen. You two make quick work of all the dishes since you wash them and he dries them and puts them away. It started off with him washing the dishes until he watched you struggle to place plates at the top of a cabinet. Although, he did enjoy being able to press himself against your back while he helped you.

Thomas Hewitt

The fact you love to cook not only delights Thomas, but helps out Luda Mae as well. With you handling the kitchen, it takes one of the most time consuming chores off of her hands. Allowing her both a chance to rest as well as a chance to finally clean up more of the old house. And we all know whatever makes Momma happy makes Thomas happy.

Honestly though, you’re going to have to take up gardening as well. After all the town is pretty much abandoned and there isn’t much to work with. Hope you know recipes for making human meat taste good…

Once again, we have another slasher who’s ideal life involves a housewife. Thomas just wants his life to be normal for once but he also wants someone to truly care about him. He is always the one taking care of other people in the family so having you to take care of him is the one thing that keeps him going.

Thomas works hard and victims are always putting up a tough fight. Since all of Thomas chores take a lot of physical exertion, he always feels like he’s starving at the end of the day. Luckily he has you! You’ve never failed to have a hot meal waiting for him.

Don’t tell Momma, but he thinks that you’re a better cook.

Please ask him his opinion on the food. Thomas hardly ever gets a say in anything since Hoyt usually gets to call the shots. It may not be much, but you asking him for his input makes him feel important.

Cooking his favorite meals after you know he’s had a hard week just does something to him. Maybe it’s because it shows him that you care, that you pay attention and notice things. Whatever the matter, he definitely enjoys tossing you onto the bed after dinner to show you his gratitude. After all, no good meal is complete without dessert.

Stu Macher

His parents were hardly ever home so Stu learned to fend for himself. This included a lot of unhealthy takeout. You have no idea how he survived off of pizza for so long. Is your cholesterol okay Stu? Killing people and having to chase them down is probably the only reason he ever survived without you.

Lucky for him, now he has you! And you love to cook for him and he enjoys everything you cook. Making him his favorite foods is a quick way to get him excited so please cook them for him after he’s had a hard day.

Expect to have a fancy kitchen and anything your heart could desire to cook with. You two will definitely have a house with one of those walk in pantries so that you have plenty of space for ingredients. If you’re going to spoil him with good food obviously he is going to spoil you by giving you everything you need to do so.

Stu never though he could enjoy cooking, but you quickly show him that it can be fun. This means you can expect him to willingly help out from time to time, whenever he’s in the mood to help. It also means you can leave at ease knowing he won’t be feasting on takeout anytime you go somewhere. At least you thought so until you came home to an unbelievable amount of pizza boxes on the counter.

He is determined to invest in a label maker and put puns on all of your spices like the adorable dork he is.

Billy Loomis

Mr mommy issues absolutely loses his shit when you cook for him. Billy absolutely thrives off of you taking care of him. Once you start cooking for him he won’t allow you to stop, it becomes an expectation.

Billy likes to cling to you while you cook, quite literally. He’ll have his arms wrapped around your waste with his head resting on top of your head/shoulder so that he can watch what you’re doing. Hopefully you can maneuver around the kitchen with him attached to you because he isn’t going anywhere.

After being together for so long, Billy usually tells you when he’s going to “hang out” with Stu. Knowing he wouldn’t be back until very late, you left out food that he could easily heat up. Finding food on the counter with instructions of how long to microwave it melts his heart. Now he’s one hundred percent sure that you’re permanent.

Shows his gratitude more than you would expect him to. He will put away the leftovers while you clean up the kitchen. It may not be much, but it’s one less thing for you to do before going to bed at night.

Don’t worry, he’ll be the one in charge of dessert. It’s another way of showing his gratitude.

Brahms Heelshire

Obviously cooking for him is a requirement so it’s a good thing that you enjoy cooking. But it’s the way you go the extra mile for him that makes him set on keeping you.

You always make him his favorite foods which just fuels his spoiled ass. If you make something you don’t like he’s going to try an throw a tantrum over it. May even go as far as to stay in the walls for a whole day. But when he finds his dinner has gone cold because you had went to bed before he decided to stop being stubborn and come eat he will realize he was in the wrong.

Just make sure to put your foot down, otherwise he will never eat any of his vegetables. He’ll pout about it and complain the whole time but whatever it takes to get him to eat healthy. Eventually he will learn to stop complaining.

No one has ever actually enjoyed doing something for Brahms. He always had to force people into pretending that they cared about him. But you not only took care of him you enjoyed doing it. The home cooked meals you made left him feeling warm and fuzzy on the inside. You put your heart into the things you cooked for him, put your time into making something you would enjoy.

I keep thinking of you hiding something in his food as a way to get him to eat something without him knowing. One day he catches you sneaking in the ingredient while he’s in the walls and he is outraged. How dare you lie to him y/n, after he was such a good boy no less!

If you bake him sweets he will make himself sick from eating so many. You’re his impulse control, please hide the sweets from him so that he doesn’t get sick. It’s for his own good.

Jesse Cromeans/Chromeskull

He’s a very busy man so having you cook for him fills him with joy. There’s nothing like coming home to a hot meal after a day of chasing people down and dealing with idiots like Preston. His injuries can also leave him feeling very drained so it’s good that you know how to make plenty of different meals to make him feel better.

If you ever wanted to learn more about cooking he would 100% pay for classes for you. Could even arrange for them to be during times when he goes on business trips so that you have something to keep you occupied while he’s gone. When he gets back he expects you to show him everything that you learned.

Jesse loves it if you ever bring him food. Granted the first time you showed up at one of the warehouses he freaked out because you could’ve been hurt. Spann makes sure to reassure him that she knew you were coming and arranged for you to be kept safe the whole way there and back.

I can also see Spann being flattered if you brought extra food for her. It saves her time and allows her to get more done within a timely manner. Also means she doesn’t have to worry about everything falling apart while she tries to get food.

Watching you cook does something to Jesse and he’s not against picking you up and carrying you upstairs. He can think of something much better to eat than whatever you’re cooking. This has also led to the smoke alarms going off more than once.

[nastybuckybarnes]

Deep End  -  Four

Pairing: Dark!Steve Rogers X Reader

Summary: He’s back. After all your best efforts at getting away, he’s found you again. And this time, he’s not letting you go so easily. He’s determined to do whatever it takes to get you to be his. Forever.

Warnings: Dark Themes, Language, Angst, Manipulation, Fluff, Smut, 

Word Count: 2.9K

A/n: Hello and welcome, formally, to part four. I hope you all had a lovely weekend and have an amazing week! I love you all very much.

Madness Masterlist

Bad Dream Masterlist

THIS IS A DARK FIC WITH SEXUAL AND TRIGGERING CONTENT!!! READ AT YOUR OWN RISK!!!! 18+ ONLY!!!

~*~

You sit nervously on the lip of the bathtub, picking at the skin around your thumbnail as you wait for the timer to ring.

It feels like it’s been hours already.

“It’s okay, honey. Don’t worry. If it isn’t positive, we’ll just keep trying.”

Steve's words don’t ease your anxiety the way he thinks they do.

Your eyes are trained on the timer, counting down the seconds, though you already have a feeling of what the tests are going to say.

The alarm sounds like war drums and you’re racing for the row of sticks on the bathroom counter, your heart dropping into your stomach as you inspect them.

Positive.

Every single one of them.

Tears fill your eyes and you bury your face in your hands, shoulders shaking with sobs.

There it goes.

Your last shred of hope for gaining freedom. Out the window, just like that.

Steve’s arms come up around your shoulders, hugging you tightly.

“I knew it. I just... I knew. You smell different, your breasts are bigger. I fucking knew it.”

He nudges his nose against your cheek until you finally tilt your head back, and then his lips are on yours.

You don't fight him, too hopeless to even try anymore.

Your tears are salty, you can taste them on his lips, but he doesn’t seem bothered at all by them. No, he still kisses you, walks you out of the bathroom towards the bed.

He helps you out of your clothes, his hands groping and squeezing every inch of you as if he’s never felt you before, as if you’re the first woman he’s touched in forever.

The tears are steady, continuing down your face as he pushes you gently onto the bed, his lips trailing over your inner thighs while his eyes raise to yours.

“We’re gonna have another baby, honey. I always knew your body was perfect. Absolutely made for me. And now you’re gonna give me another baby. You’re gonna grow all nice and round...” He trails off, his eyes dark and full of lust as he gazes down at your stomach as if picturing you pregnant again.

“C’mon, darling. We need to celebrate.” He sheds his clothes so that you’re both naked, his warm body pressed tightly against yours, though it does little to quell the shivers of distress rolling down your spine.

Pregnant. Again.

He places kiss after kiss onto your neck, trailing down to your breasts and halting there.

“Can’t wait for you to be nice and big again, all full and round because of me. Fuck, can’t wait ‘till you start makin’ milk again, honey.”

His lips latch around your nipple, sucking hard enough to make your back arch, a whine of pain and pleasure rolling out of your mouth.

“That’s it. M’gonna make you feel nice, honey. Gonna make you feel loved. You know I love you, huh? Yeah. I do.”

His words make your stomach twist in uncomfortable knots, and you close your eyes to avoid the intensity of his gaze. You focus instead on the feel of his body against yours, nice and warm and heavy.

One of his hands snakes between your legs, toying with your clit and dipping into your heat to prepare you for his cock.

“Getting all wet and messy for me, huh?” Your eyes remain shut, blocking out his face, the face of the man who’s done so many atrocious things to you.

He thrusts his fingers in and out rather slowly, dragging them against your sensitive walls until he deems you ready enough for him, though there’s no way to truly be ready for him.

He positions himself between your legs, perched on his haunches while his hands rub over your thighs gently.

“Can’t wait for you to have my baby, sweetheart. Gonna watch you get all nice and full, bring another life into this world for me. That’s what you’re here for, darling.”

He slides his manhood through your folds, coating himself in your essence before slowly pushing into you, forcing every inch into your tight wet heat.

Your mouth drops open, brows pulling together at the stretch of him so deep inside of you, pushing against every resistance your body brings forth. He forces himself into you until he’s seated comfortably, cock held tightly by your fluttering walls.

“Fuck, feel that. Feel you. So tight... tight ‘n wet. Fuck... Fuck...”

He pulls back then pushes in, each thrust slow and precise and far too good. You hate how good he makes you feel, how well he knows your body. You hate how good you feel beneath him, how right it feels to be with him, to be held in his arms.

And you fucking hate him for making you enjoy a single second of time spent with him.

His thrusts speed up until he’s hammering his hips into yours, each movement of his hips forcing his cock to press against your cervix painfully, but the pain is welcome.

It’s what you deserve for enjoying it.

A soft moan falls from your lips when he drops his hand between your legs, fingers working your clit with practiced ease.

He’s spent months learning and re-learning your body, he knows you almost as well as he knows himself, and if the only way you want him is physically then fine, but he’s going to make that want stronger than your hatred for him.

“O-oh god...” Your eyes squeeze shut as the edge creeps closer, each pass of his thumb on your clit and his cock between your walls bringing it so much nearer.

“You gonna cum for me, honey? Yeah? Gonna be my good girl?” You nod, if only so he doesn’t stop.

“Fuck, you feel so good, darling... so good.” He picks up speed, and you get lost in your orgasm like a leaf in a windstorm.

It picks you up and pulls you from reality. Bliss clouds your mind, your senses, and nothing matters except the rolling waves of pleasure flooding you.

“Just like that, honey... fuck.”

He drops his head into the crook of your neck, breaths hot and damp against your skin as he follows you into the blissful embrace.

His hips stutter to a stop, warmth painting your walls and filling you to the brim, just like he always does.

He pants against you, his mind consumed with obsession, adoration, love. He finally has you back in his arms. Finally gets to rebuild his family, get the happy ending he’s been craving.

He’s not gonna give it up.

You’re right where you belong.

~*~

He waits an absurdly long time before telling anyone.

He doesn’t want anyone to know, especially not Nat. Bucky, sure, he can know, but not Nat. Not after the way she kept so many secrets for so long.

It isn’t until you start showing -about two months after the positive tests- that he finally tells the two of them the good news, inviting them over to help set up the baby's room and have a nice night with his family.

Bucky and Steve have just finished painting the walls yellow, a neutral baby colour that you suggested.

Steve insists that you sit slightly outside the room, even though both windows are open and a fan is going, the paint specifically bought because it’s non-toxic.

But you don’t argue. You’ll sit as far away from them as possible.

Sarah’s in your lap, her eyes focused on the colouring book on the ground in front of her, her tongue poking out between her lips as she tries to stay inside the lines.

“Alright. That’s the crib all done. Honey, you wanna grab us a drink?”

Your head snaps up at Steve’s request, and you nod, rising to your feet and instinctively dropping a hand to your small bump.

“Can I help?” Sarah asks excitedly, bouncing up onto her toes and following you down the stairs.

“Of course. You wanna bring this up to Uncle Bucky?”

You pour two glasses of lemonade, one for the blond and one for the brunet.

“Can I have some?” You nod, grabbing a cup for her as she starts carefully up the stairs with the glass.

“Need a hand?” You stiffen, eyes slowly raising to the redhead’s.

“No.”

She sighs, taking a seat at the counter.

“Just hear me out, (Y/n), please. I just... I just wanna explain. Please.” You grind your teeth together at her.

“What could you possibly have to say to me? How could you possibly explain the way you betrayed me? Betrayed Sarah? You got my dad killed, Natasha, and now I’m pregnant again.”

She looks so lost, so desperate, but it doesn’t change the fact that it’s her fault you’re here.

"Just please, (Y/n). Please.” There’s nothing you can really do to stop her. It’s obvious that Bucky and Steve would side with her over you in a heartbeat.

“I never breathed a single word of your whereabouts to anyone, I swear. Not even my therapist. I swear on my life, (Y/n) I never told anyone where to find you.”

You look up at her and shake your head.

“You were the only other person who knew where we were hiding.”

She lets out a shaky breath and looks away from your eyes.

“After what happened at the cabin I started going to therapy. Saw a good therapist who helped me get through a lot of stuff. James was going to therapy too, we were getting better together.”

You don’t think any therapy in the world will change the fact that James Barnes is a monster through and through, but you don’t say that to her. No, you let her continue.

“I started getting better. James did too. We got back to work, to helping people,  being the good guys.”

She pauses, sniffling then scrubbing at her cheek.

“I told him that uh, one of my friends had a baby and that spending time around them made me want one too. It upset me because that... that’s a dream that I’ll never be able to have. Or, I thought it was.” A smile tugs at the corner of her mouth, but it lacks any positive emotions behind it.

“He told me about this experimental procedure that they started doing in Switzerland. Reversals for female sterilization. Highly experimental but... he said I should give it a shot. The worst that would happen would be... well... no worse than what I’ve had to live with for most of my life.”

She crosses her arms over her chest, not in defiance but in comfort. Self-comfort, and for a moment you feel bad for her.

“I talked it over with Bucky. Told him about how much I wanted a baby, a little mini version of him or I, and he was on board. Said he wished I told him sooner.” She chuckles, shaking her head fondly at the memory.

“That’s when I left for that while, remember?” You nod.

She missed Christmas and you were only slightly devastated at having to spend the holiday alone.

“I got the procedure done. Was on bed rest for a while after and even after I was given a clean bill of health I... I didn’t want to try. I was too nervous. Afraid that it wouldn't work but more afraid that it would.”

She takes a deep breath, her eyes squeezed shut tightly as she recounts the events that occurred leading up to your abduction. Her betrayal.

“It uh... it took three months but we conceived. I was finally pregnant.” She smiles a tearful, wet smile at you and your own eyes prickle with tears as you realize that her story won’t have a happy ending.

Your mind immediately goes to the worst things you can think of, ranging from miscarriage to murder, and you find yourself wanting to call Sarah down away from her father.

“I was ecstatic, (Y/n). I was so fucking happy.” Her eyes are filled with a type of sorrow that you’re far too familiar with. One you’ve felt too much in your short life.

“I told my shrink about it, told him how happy I was. Bucky and I cried together when we found out cause... we were finally gonna be parents. That’s around the time when I started coming by more often. What, sic months ago? Yeah, right around then. I uh, I wanted to wait until I was showing more to tell you, but...” She trails off, her face falling even more and tears trailing down her cheeks.

“That’s around the same time when Bucky started seeing Steve more. Spent less and less time at home with me and more time with Steve. I uh, got a call one day from his therapist, asking if everything was okay because she hadn’t seen him in weeks. That’s when I knew something wasn’t right. We hadn’t spoken to Steve since the cabin incident and then Bucky was spending every waking moment with him.”

She stops speaking, her fingers trembling and her bottom lip wobbling.

“What happened to the baby?” You ask softly, needing to know who hurt her, who caused it.

She exhales deeply and slowly opens her eyes.

“I uh, I guess Bucky must’ve told him. And uh... if Steve can’t have his happily ever after then no one can.”

My heart drops into my stomach.

“What did he do?”

She doesn’t answer right away. No, instead she picks at her fingers for a long moment.

“Did you know... that drinking certain teas can cause a miscarriage? Because I didn’t.” You furrow your brows, trying to figure out what she means until it dawns on you.

“He made you drink it?” You’re not sure which ‘he’ you’re talking about, but you know it must’ve been at least one, if not both of them.

“The last time I uh, set foot in this house before that dinner we had together... he invited us over for drinks and to watch the game. He made me some tea and asked me why I thought it was okay to keep secrets from him. I didn’t understand what he meant at the time but... that hardly matters. A few days later I started bleeding. A lot. I was in the infirmary for days on end only to find out that he’d poisoned my baby.”

She sniffles again and wipes her cheeks with the back of her hand.

“After that, he didn’t trust me, only trusted Bucky. Went to my therapist and took his notes, beat answers out of him when he refused to speak. I’m assuming they bugged me o-or something. Or followed my licence plate, searched through my history to figure it out."

Her candy apple green eyes meet yours, vibrant and staring directly into your soul with passion and fire rivalling that of a forest fire.

“I never breathed a single word of you or Sarah to anyone. Steve figured it out on his own, after almost killing my therapist, and killing my baby. I never said anything, I swear. On the life of my child, I didn’t say a thing.”

Your breaths come in shallow bursts, anxiety spiking as you shake your head.

“I-I don’t...” She puts a gentle hand on your shoulder and nods, guiding you towards the couch.

“I’m sorry. But that’s... that’s the truth. Steve is a monster, and he’s got Bucky following him mindlessly. I don’t... I don’t know what to do or who to turn to.”

You open your mouth to speak, but the sound of feet trudging down the stairs cuts you off.

“Everything alright down here?” Steve asks, reaching for his glass of lemonade but pausing when he sees the look of distress on your face.

His eyes flutter between you and Nat before he takes a seat beside you, grabbing your hand gently in his.

“Honey? You okay?”

You shake your head, trying to rid it of the overwhelming thoughts.

“Mommy?” The three of you look up as Sarah bounds down the stairs, climbing into your lap.

“Where’s my juice?” You pick her up and rest her on your hip as you stand up, walking into the kitchen to grab her cup of juice and distance yourself from the people on the couch.

Bucky comes down the stairs next, confused and wondering where everyone went.

His eyes find Natasha’s first, the poorly masked sorrow colouring her features, and his heart aches.

Sarah drinks her lemonade quickly, making a loud ‘ahh’ sound once she’s devoured the last drop.

“Can we have pizza for dinner?” She asks eagerly, looking up at you with big blue eyes.

You swallow hard then nod, your eyes slowly raising to Steve’s as he walks over to you.

“Pizza?” You ask softly, turning back to your daughter when he nods.

“Of course.” She squeals excitedly, wrapping her arms around your neck and hugging you tightly.

You hug her closer to your body, burying your face in her hair as a tear slips down your cheek.

You knew he was a bad man, but you never thought he’d hurt a child. That would’ve been his niece or nephew, a friend for Sarah and your new baby. But no, he decided that Natasha didn’t deserve her happy ending, neither did Bucky.

Natasha is one of the few friends you’ve ever had, and the fact that he’d hurt her that way, kill off her one dream, is disgusting.

It makes you wonder what he’ll do to you, or even Sarah.

You thought hurting kids was something Steve would never do, but now you’re not so sure.

[pusangkambing]

How c!Fundy is actually "Choose people, not sides incarnate"

This is an old analysis about c!fundy that i made after doomsday about how c!Fundy is literally the embodiment of c!Ranboo's "Choose people, not sides" belief. Idk if people have already made analysis like this and I'm not really good at making things like this but Ive just decided to just put it out there anyway lol

You know how Ranboo is always on about "Choose people, not sides"?

Fundy is literally "Choosing people, not sides" incarnate, and here are my reasons as to why:

1. He has always chosen Wilbur- from the very beginning, a lot of what Fundy does is for Wilbur. When it was first established that Fundy is Wilbur's son, Wilbur made it clear that he didn't have to fight in the war because he's the first natural born citizen of Lmanberg, but Fundy fought in the war anyways and that reason is Wilbur, because he wanted Wilbur to acknowledge him, to actually see him as a man and what he can do and not just baby him and belittle him. The only times he actually went against him was during The Election, where Fundy ran his own party with Niki, and not only just because he doesn't align with any other party's ideals during that time, but also again to prove himself to his father, that he is actually capable of taking care of the nation that Wilbur made for him. The second time was when he turned into a spy under Schlatt’s reign to destroy Manberg from the inside, all of that has been his attempts to get Wilbur to finally notice him. You can argue that it made the relationship worse considering that Fundy had to publicly disown Wilbur as his father in order to keep up his facade, but it doesn't really change the fact that that was another one of Fundy’s attempt to be given the recognition he wanted from Wilbur, no matter how badly it backfired.

The only time where Fundy felt like he was betrayed by Wilbur was when he died, as seen with his confrontation with Ghostbur and his conversation with Quackity, Tubbo and Ghostbur while they were rebuilding New Lmanburg. He wasn't mad at Wilbur for blowing up L’Manburg, he wasnt mad that Wilbur didnt choose him as the new president, he wasnt mad that Wilbur ended up betraying their side, he was mad that Wilbur chose to die.

2. He was the first OG Lmanbergian to ever forgive Eret- the entirety of the Lmanbergians were betrayed by Eret inside the Final Control Room, and because of this both Wilbur and Tommy have always been hostile with Eret afterwards. Tubbo didn't really interact with them a lot during that, so i can't properly gauge how Tubbo felt about them. But Fundy was the first person to approach them again, starting with the harmless pranks that they both do to each other. Fundy was the first person that trusted them again even after Eret had been the cost of their first lives and had nearly cost Lmanberg its freedom.

Eret was also the only person that Fundy trusted enough to reveal his plan as a spy to, while Tommy and Wilbur consistently refused their help when they kept trying to redeem themself. He also trusted Eret enough as a parent figure and was ecstatic when Eret said they were going to adopt him.

This isn't really him choosing someone but its more of a way to show that Fundy doesnt care too much about a person's side and how he values his relationship with them more than their side.

3. He very nearly chose Schlatt- While he was a spy under the guise of serving Schlatt, he very nearly turned after Schlatt actually gave him acknowledgment. When he actually saw the country that Wilbur made for him nearly flourish under Schlatt’s regime, and when Schlatt actually acknowledged him for his worth and capabilities and not just babied him like what Wilbur did, he was conflicted on who to choose. On one hand, he was a spy to prove himself to his father, on the other hand, Schlatt is actually giving him the acknowledgment that he has craved for his entire life. He was so conflicted that he even dedicated an entire entry in his spy diary of how he has conflicting feelings on which is right.

Only after Schlatt proved himself to be the tyrannical dictator that he is did Fundy solidify his resolve as a spy and ultimately chose Wilbur again.

4. During Doomsday, Fundy chose Ranboo-  this conversation hurt so much, especially because Ranboo unfairly judged Fundy while Fundy was actually breaking down. Ranboo criticized him for always choosing the winning side and for being a coward when its actually the complete opposite of that. Fundy has never been a coward, he never ran at the face of danger, he never strayed from his ideals, and he is willing to go through such far lengths just to be able to prove himself of worth (i.e running against his father, burning down the flag, double crossing etc etc.) Fundy has also never chosen the winning side, again, he is the actual poster boy for "Choose people, not sides". From the very beginning he has always chosen people, and now at this situation whether he realized it or not, he chose Ranboo.

During the New Lmanberg era, when Ranboo just recently joined, he and Fundy formed a quick friendship. Starting immediately with building and ice cream business together, exploiting the various glitches that Fundy found (flying strider, fundy boat glitch), decorating for the Green Festival together and just hanging out in general. Both of them got really close during this time, something even akin to brotherhood. But that all changed after the Green Festival, after Doomsday. Because of the misunderstanding, and because both of them were not in their right minds during Doomsday, both released hurtful words hurled towards each other. But what Ranboo didnt realized when Fundy said he was teaming with him, was that Fundy chose him. After he sabotaged Lmanberg's supplies, after he just watched the chaos and destruction unfold on the land that his father gave him, Fundy ultimately chose another person, the person he was closes to at this time, which was Ranboo. I don't blame Ranboo for misconstruing what Fundy said. Both of them weren't in the right mindset at all during that time, with Fundy having a breakdown and Ranboo thinking that staying alone and individuality is the only right answer, but that doesn't really deny the fact that Fundy still chose him, Ranboo.

Note: after reading this again ive just realized that not only is c!Fundy the embodiment of c!Ranboo's belief, c!Fundy actually has the backbone to go through with it lmao. As long as you give him love and acknowledgment he's basically ride or die with you.

[ffeynn]

hiya fey =] !! i love your blog a lot , do you mind writing xiao, tetora nagumo, and riddle rosehearts in love with a gn reader?? tysm - you’re doing wonderful and i hope your blog takes off !!!

「 is this how it feels, being in love: xiao, tetora and riddle 」

a/n: heyy!! ahhh yes thanku! and really! thanku again for your words! i think i messed up tetora's one,,, but i hope you enjoy it - even if it's a bit!!

pairing: xiao, nagumo tetora, riddle rosehearts x reader (seperates)

↬ xiao in love huh. he won’t take it well at first, constantly denying the fact that his heart flutters upon your arrival at wengshui inn, the fact that he was glaring at any person a bit too close to you out of jealousy, the fact that he smiled every time he looked at the embroidery you did for him.

☆ he heard your usual footsteps going up the stairs, the adeptus can’t help waiting for your figure to come up to him with a warm smile and a cheerful, “xiao!”

ah, there it is, the name he came to love whenever he heard it in your voice. your voice who has never ran out of patience with his behavior and somehow managed to rinse away any of his present worries. look at that smile you flashed at him, one he has seen all too many times yet the more he sees it, the more xiao craves for it. the yaksha can feel his lips tugging by a bit.

↬ xiao doesn’t know what came to him when he heard you were sick and before he knew it, he was already in front of your house. why’s he even visiting you - xiao has no reason to. but well here the yaksha was, worried sick about you.

☆ he expects for the worse, xiao does when he heard the news of you being sick. when he found out that it's just a normal fever, he felt relief. out of all emotion, xiao was relieved.

he might be protective but now that you're sick, he's more protective. what do you mean you need to go out? you don’t. he’ll get some herbs after his fight against the abyss mage for you. “you’re still sick, don’t move much.”

↬ xiao knows he’s in love with you. but what good will it do to him when you obviously will leave him just like the others do. this love probably won’t even be mutual, you must have someone more deserving of your love and time.

☆ or maybe that’s all only in his mind. the sight of you timidly trying to not avoid his eyes, your face growing deeper shades of red each seconds, your earnest voice confessing your deep feelings of love for him.

he knows you’re sincere, it’s a genuine love. one you have for him and one he has for you. it’s alright to be in love, he won’t trade it with anything nor will he avoid it any longer. if you’re the one he’s with, xiao will be more than glad to be in love.

↬ is he in love? tetora wonders if what he’s feeling toward you is love. yes he did have some fleeting crushes but that only extends to like. not love. though the way he feels around you, the subtle changes in his action around you, it feels so much like love.

☆ tetora was already by your classroom’s door after his class ended early. he was a bit embarrassed at the wondering, teasing stares he received. that all doesn't matter when you joyfully made your way toward him.

“ah tetora, thank you for waiting for me.” you said while dragging him away from the door since people were walking out. “it’s okay! i don’t mind waiting for you.” he ignores the fast beating of his heart when you hold his hand in yours.

↬ he’ll always help you (if he doesn't have something important going on)! tetora is a man, he’s a hero and he’s a person that’ll help you carry boxes down the stairs despite his arms almost giving up.

☆ “this.. no, no, i’m fine you don’t need to help.” or so he said. but thankfully, tetora successfully carried the heavy boxes downstairs. while it may not be so helpful for his practice later — wait it does — most definitely worth it.

you were worried about him, you were in a quick laughter at his stubbornness, you were smiling at him. it made him warm, tetora loves the way you made him feels. and when you cheer him on for his practice later, tetora had an inkling that today he’ll do much more better than before. and yes, he did.

↬ did something happen to you today? he noticed you look a bit down today. tetora will do anything just to see you happy again, you brighten up his day and he wants to do the same to you.

☆ how about cooking your favourite food? that’ll at least cheer you up a bit.. right? as much as he wants to cook for you all by his own, tetora knows it's better if he asks someone else to help. happened so his taishou was free! asking help from kuro about cooking is a splendid choice.

now, now. look at the outcome! with your favourite food neatly packed in a lunch box, tetora nervously, excitedly went to you. various kind of what ifs appearing in his mind. yet when he saw your face brightening up when you saw his figure walking up to you. wait. he still haven't give you his surprise food to you.. why are you already happy..

“tetora!” ah that doesn't matter, what matter is your smile who looks so lovely to him was now here again. and knowing it’s because of him, tetora loves it much more.

↬ just the thought of being in love with you flustered him. the poor boy probably doesn’t know what to name this feeling of his at first. riddle didn't have time to experience romance all his life, just studies and obeying his mother. but at nrc, his mother won't be there to monitor all his actions, he gains the littlest bit of freedom.

☆ riddle was acting suspicious yet the dorm leader himself didn't notice it. except it's ace and deuce, you got caught in trouble a lot of time with them. so when riddle seemed to be more lent toward you, softer.. something was up. what kind of riddle scolds a troublemaker with a smile on his face and with a tone so worried? a riddle who caught feelings.

“right, didn’t you say you want help for next week’s exam?” and just like that, he invited you out on a study date. the two other students almost gasped, even grim noticed the difference in riddle. the said male didn’t thought of it as a date at first but after ace pointed it out, his face grew red. cherry red.

↬ once he realized his feelings for you, riddle will be conscious of the occasional actions. like the hands bumping when they get a bit too close with each other, those times he fixed your tie neatly.

☆ he invited you on an evening tea time and you were surprised when you found out the only one there was him. “oh, you're finally here.” riddle went up to you and like a gentleman he is, the dorm leader pulled out your seat for you. thanking him, you complimented riddle - he looks slightly different today tho you don't know what it is but it's there.

riddle did dressed up today, just a slight change. he used a perfume which smell you said you like, his hair looking more slick and that's all. his dormmates who knows about this were too persistent to help riddle levels up his appearance, in the end he only agreed to two things. but when you took notice of the subtle changes and complimented him, maybe he will undo his unique magic on the poor dormmates.

↬ riddle gives you roses, freshly from heartslabyul's garden.

☆ he will uses his magic to pluck a few bloomed roses, get rid of the thorns and prettily wrapped it up into a bouquet. riddle gave you the bouquet once after the end of your usual tea time. it was so sudden, you were surprised by his abrupt romantic gesture.

despite of that, you love it. the expression you hold tell him you love it. and there isn't any rules telling them that plucking roses is forbidden so perhaps he might just try to be better at making bouquet. teas too, you said you love his teas and riddle - he was so happy (that he blushed!).

[bestworstcase]

on ‘villainy’ and varian’s and cassandra’s moral codes

for all that varian’s and cassandra’s villain arcs get compared to death they’re really more different than they are similar, and i think one of the more interesting distinctions is the characters’ moral perspectives on their own actions--namely that varian recognizes his own choices as villainous and consciously self-identifies as a ‘bad guy’ and cassandra not only…doesn’t do that but appears legitimately taken aback when varian says she’s ‘become the villain.’ from this we can infer that varian is transgressing his own personal sense of right and wrong while cassandra isn’t.

and… well with varian i think it’s pretty straightforward: he’s a kid who desperately wants to make the world a better place and make his father proud, but his impulsivity and recklessness and general disregard for lab safety foil his plans and get him into trouble. then one of his accidents puts his dad into what is essentially a magical coma and varian becomes singularly focused on reviving him--and, when he realizes that the king is more invested in covering up the problem than fixing it and his only hope lies with a zealously guarded relic belonging to the kingdom, he decides that the only way to achieve this goal is to start breaking the rules.

so he asks rapunzel--his friend who promised to help him--to retrieve some information the king is trying to steal from him, and then persuades her to help him access the sundrop vault; then when she balks at stealing it he makes it clear that he no longer trusts her and escapes with the flower. at this point he’s in the morally dubious zone; being strategic about what he tells rapunzel to make sure she helps him, spiking cookies with truth serum to sow chaos and get information he needs, and doing things that are crimes on paper but also largely victimless. i think these were things varian could probably rationalize as okay--not exactly good, but no one got hurt and he got what he needed.

except the flower’s magic is gone. he drugged the palace, manipulated rapunzel and broke her trust in him, and committed treason all for something useless because the actual magic of the sundrop is in rapunzel herself. now he’s in trouble, because he needs rapunzel’s help but his desperate measures guaranteed she won’t be willing to help him again. and this is when varian realizes that his only options are 1. give up on saving his dad and turn himself in and hope rapunzel takes pity on him, or 2. accept that no one is going to help him now and do whatever it takes to free quirin himself.

so--mutating ruddiger, attacking the city, kidnapping arianna and threatening her with encasement in amber, building an automaton army to defend him while he works--these are all things that varian feels are wrong, but chooses to do anyway because he doesn’t trust that anyone else will even try to save his father. despite his anger and his rationalizations, at the end of the day varian sees himself as doing bad things for good reasons. (“Believe me, I know/I’ve sunk pretty low” & “I’m the bad guy, that’s fine”)

and when his reasons fall through--when he fails to free his dad--he falls quickly into guilt and despair over having hurt people for nothing. he stews for a year in how unforgivable and ashamed he feels, and even when he teams up with the separatists, he’s doing it in, basically, pursuit of a reset button: he wants to take back what he did. and when rapunzel shows him that he can be forgiven, he can have a second chance, he does have people who are willing to help him and trust him again, he drops the memory-wiping idea and his alliance with the separatists without a second thought--because what rapunzel actually does is give him a way to pursue his goals without sacrificing his conscience, which is what he really needed the whole time.

now, cassandra, on the other hand…

cass is an interesting character in this regard because, while she does want to be a hero, she’s not at all altruistic. she’s consumed by her lack of autonomy and she craves not only control over her own life but also respect from the people around her--her desire to be a hero is very self-interested, at its core. and moreover she has a somewhat fatalistic view of the world wherein some people (not her) matter and some… just don’t. 

moreover cassandra, despite her ambitions of becoming a guard, doesn’t so much as blink at eugene’s or the pub thugs’ criminal pasts--she is suspicious of lance at first, but on the grounds that he’s an unrepentant thief who showed up out of the blue under suspicious circumstances to ‘reconnect’ with his old partner in crime; eugene is also distrustful of lance, for the exact same reasons--and of course she doesn’t think twice about breaking the law herself. literally one of the very first things we see cassandra do is commit treason to make her friend happy. cass doesn’t care about the law, and she only wants to be a guard because she associates getting the job with having her dad’s approval and it’s also her ticket out of lifelong servitude.

on the other hand, cass does seem have a strong sense of right and wrong where people she cares about are concerned. she is constantly putting the desires and well-being of her friends ahead of not just her ambitions (e.g. in beginnings for rapunzel, or great expotations for varian) but also her own safety (e.g. risking her livelihood and home to sneak rapunzel out for the night in bea, or setting aside her misgivings about the sketchy bird people in freebird). 

which is all to say--cass isn’t exactly amoral but the moral framework through which she sees the world is… more complicated than varian’s. she doesn’t seem particularly motivated to help strangers but she’ll move mountains to help people she cares about; she doesn’t care much about rules or laws except insofar as she doesn’t want to get caught breaking them, and she has this hierarchical mindset that some people matter--meaning, they get to make decisions for themselves and have people care about what they need and want--and some don’t, and that she herself is stuck in the latter category despite her best efforts to climb out of it.

which brings us to the subject of the moonstone, and cassandra’s villain arc, and why cass, unlike varian, doesn’t consider herself a bad person.

i think what it comes down to most is this: taking the moonstone is an act of defiance against not only rapunzel but also fate itself. waiting in the wings sets up cassandra’s resigned acceptance of this hierarchical order and her own cosmic insignificance, and then in crossing the line she REJECTS that same order. she’s raging against rapunzel but also against the cultural and legal and destined systems that put rapunzel on top and forced cass into subservience. she is very literally fighting for her freedom against the universe itself.

and when cass was not an altruistic or heavily morally motivated or even particularly law-abiding person before, and when her conscience has always been predominantly oriented around taking care of her friends first and herself second, and when the thing that drove her to this breaking point was her friends spitting that back in her face… well.

it’s easy to say “cass literally tried to murder rapunzel a bunch of times, how can she possibly believe she’s the good guy?”--but rapunzel maimed cass, blamed her for it, and consistently prioritized her destiny over cassandra’s wellbeing; and rapunzel represents the cosmic order that cass is fighting to liberate herself from. and while i know that the -popular- take on be very afraid is “cass is terrified of hurting rapunzel,” i submit it’s actually “cass is terrified of having to fight rapunzel, because she still believes that fate is literally tilted in rapunzel’s favor and she can’t win a direct fight with rapunzel.” that’s why she’s so scared; that’s why rapunzel seemingly deleting the red rocks hardens her resolve; that’s why she marches into corona with maximum drama and bluster and builds a fortress and tries so hard to mess with rapunzel’s head before the battle begins. she’s trying to even the odds. and that’s why, when rapunzel stomps her into the curb, cassandra’s immediate response is “i need an army.”

cassandra isn’t scared for rapunzel. she is scared OF rapunzel.

we do also see cass trying not to harm people she considers to be innocent bystanders; she uses the truth serum on varian bc she needs the incantation, but afterwards she doesn’t even bother to restrain him until after he starts pestering her, she says flat out that she doesn’t want him to get hurt when she fights rapunzel; similarly she is willing to hurt calliope to force rapunzel to comply, but--despite her deep personal dislike of calliope--uses a minimum amount of force and again verbally expresses that she doesn’t particularly want to hurt her, that it’s a means to an end and nothing more. attacking rapunzel? that’s fine, rapunzel is her enemy. attacking eugene? of course, he’s rapunzel’s closest ally. mind controlling the brotherhood? that kills two birds with one stone--eliminating powerful enemies with a vested interest in taking the moonstone away from her and turning them into allies who can level the playing field between her and rapunzel. and when she does finally snap and raze corona to the ground? the people of corona attacked her first. i think cass ABSOLUTELY sees herself as fighting a purely defensive war against people who have or will hurt her.

and this is, of course, ultimately why varian failed to get through to her during ‘nothing left to lose’--he appealed to her sense of morality and her sense of morality shrugged. 

as for the thing that snaps her out of it? the moment that forces her to question whether she’s really as right as she thinks she is? it’s learning who her new friend really is. it’s the shock of finding out that she’s been allied with, confiding in, taking advice from a legendary villain, from a monster she likely grew up hearing stories about. cass takes it as a given that zhan tiri is evil--and if she’s friends with zhan tiri, what does that make her? and even then, cass is resistant to the idea that she might be a villain--“No, no, I’m nothing like you. Just because I’m pursuing my destiny doesn’t make me a bad person!”--which is, ultimately, very telling of her whole mindset. she’s not a bad guy, she’s fighting for her freedom. she’s not a bad guy, she’s protecting herself against people who want to exploit her. she’s not a bad guy, she’s just putting herself first for once.

and OAH generally, i’d argue, is not actually about cassandra trying to reconcile with rapunzel or redeem herself or be a better person, it’s… literally cass trying frantically to prove she’s NOT the bad guy. it’s “oh yeah? you think i’m a bad person? well could a bad guy do THIS? *lies and impersonates a former coworker and gets up on a stage to justify her own actions in front of a crowd*” it’s “a bad guy wouldn’t apologize, rapunzel never apologized for anything, and to prove i’m a better person I’M going to apologize! see? SEE!?”--and then everyone in corona attacks her and she goes “FINE, i’m the bad guy, fuck you all” and wrecks the place.

only then--only in plus est en vous--does cassandra get into a mindset similar to varian’s, of “i am the bad guy but if i can pull this off it will be worth it.” she’s not sorry. she still sees rapunzel as an enemy trying to get her under control again, and the only thing that’s really changed is cassandra acknowledging that she has in fact done bad things too.

and… i would argue that by the end of plus est cassandra… feels some guilt but isn’t sorry. “i’ve failed” and “i’ve done terrible things” and “i tried to prove i was more than everyone thought but they were right”--her anguish is not like varian’s anguish in RR, where he was consumed with despair because no one could possibly forgive him for the things he did. cassandra is upset because she did awful things and failed and she perceives that failure as proof of her own worthlessness. she’s right back to feeling how she felt in waiting in the wings but with a hefty new helping of self-disgust and shame for having been stupid enough to believe she could change anything for herself. 

she’s not sorry. she’s not pleading for forgiveness. she just wants rapunzel to give up and leave her alone--& then, after rapunzel convinces her that she’s wrong, and she does have worth as a person, and she does have a destiny of her own, cass does what’s necessary to clean up the crisis she created and then… just bounces. she gets the freedom she wanted and leaves without a backward glance.

(which. good for her.)

tl;dr: varian’s villain arc explores his moral scruples and what it takes for him to be willing to ignore them, whereas cassandra’s villain arc explores her incendiary reaction to a lifetime of injustices; she isn’t amoral but her sense of right and wrong is, unlike varian’s, very contextual and personal. varian is a pragmatic idealist who wants to be lawful good but is capable of setting his own morals aside in pursuit of a goal he considers to be important enough, and cassandra is one radicalizing incident away from realizing that her grievances are not a unique personal failing but a systemic problem and then leading a class uprising.

[yandere-sins]

Hi!! I loved your recent Sakusa work sm! It was so good and intense and you did a great job!! I was wondering, if the requests & prompts are still open can you do board games & diary for either Sakusa or Atsumu! I’m fine with either one <3

Sorry, I am just too much into both to separate them! Enjoy some good ol’ manipulated double-teaming!

Board games - “Don’t say such means things.. it breaks my heart to put you back in those locks.” 

Diary - “My pet should hold no secrets from their owner and vice versa.”

»»———————— ♡ ————————««     

It was a hard pill to swallow, but you had to admit that you were growing desperate.

For more than a week now, you had been in the clutches of these two maniacs, had to live through ups and downs with them and alone. Yet, there still didn’t seem to be any signs of an end to this nightmarish episode you were going through. Slowly but surely, this meant you were desperate for change. For something - anything! - to happen, just so all of this would finally end.

You found yourself desperate for the comfort of a bed, the privacy of your own toilet, the warmth of a sweater. Sometimes your mouth remembered your favorite dishes, and your heart remembered the feeling of hugging someone dear to you. And, every time you found yourself craving the same as you had before your life went downhill, all you were faced with were two psychos using your needs for their own gain.

At least, that’s what you thought about this situation.

“Come on! It’s good!” Atsumu tried to make the spoon of soup palatable for you, as he had for the last two days. He did his best, but his best wasn’t good enough for you. Lips pressed together into a thin line, you kept avoiding the spoon, going as far as to dodge and move out of the way of his reach. You’d rather fall to the floor than sit on this couch and eat the damn soup, you decided. Were you not too afraid of the other ghost in this apartment, you would have tried making a run for the hallway and the front door, but they were too unpredictable.

“I can’t believe you’re doing this to me,” you sobbed, the frown on your face holding back the tears you felt burning in your eyes ever since you woke up in this place. “We’ve been friends since our childhood! But I guess I didn’t mean anything to you.”

Finally slipping out of his grip, you fell to your knees, the cold, hard parquet being as unwelcoming as you felt. Atsumu’s disgruntled deep breath was absolutely unjustified how you found. After all, he wasn’t the one being held captive against his will. Of all the people, you were the only one allowed to showcase your discontent like that.

Next to you, Atsumu set down the bowl of soup on the coffee table, a strong, firm grip reaching down to the rope binding your wrists behind your back. Anything was better than letting him do as he pleased. Kicking, screaming, and biting if necessary! But by now, you two were playing a meager game of who was stronger, the lack of sustainable food and rest being one reason why you didn’t always have the upper hand in these situations; thus, he pulled you up on the couch again easily.

“Don’t say such mean things... you mean everything to me, [Name].”

This assurance was least helpful to the constant anxiety raging through you. Before all this, you had trusted Atsumu with everything. You’d been the best friend one could have, got along well with his family. It had been bold of you to assume that he was capable of anything beyond complaining to and nagging you, but you always hoped that he’d one day come to understand the feelings you harbored for him.

But not like this. You didn’t want to be loved by him like this.

“Be nice, or I’ll have to put you back in those metal locks. It would break my heart, and you don’t like them either, do ya?”

You shivered just from thinking about the chains clasping around your wrists and ankles, cold and tight. You hated them, just as much as the cage you had been stuck in for the first few nights. Everything kept you in place. You couldn’t even turn if you wanted. It was followed by constant pain, and having someone treat you like a caged animal rather than a human while you were in there, was only the cherry on top.

Compared to that, just hanging out in the living room with ropes around your wrists was freedom. “No,” you whispered, the fight not having disappeared from your voice, and you were relieved to still have it in you. “See?” Atsumu sighed, pulling you back on the couch and between his legs, arms wrapping around you and keeping you pressed up against him. “It’ll be fine,” he mumbled, kissing the back of your head.

“Just don’t upset him.”

“Upset who?” another voice echoed through the room as if on cue. Instinctively your eyes followed the sound to the kitchen. Through the connecting door to the hallway, Sakusa entered, newspaper in hand and seemingly reading an article on it. “Nobody,” Atsumu was quick to avert, but you had felt the slight flinch he made when his partner spoke up.

“Did they eat?” Sakusa asked, unbothered by the angry glare you sent him and Atsumu’s lie, setting down both paper and coffee mug on the kitchen counter before shifting his attention to you. Three long steps were all he needed to approach the couch from behind, fingers flitting up your throat and to your jaw as he grazed you with a short glance before eyeing the bowl on the table.

“Done with work?” Atsumu asked, pressing you possessively closer to him, but it wasn’t like he could upset Sakusa with his doings, even if it was his intention. “Taxes, Atsumu, but yes. They didn’t eat?”

At that, Atsumu finally had to admit defeat, sighing and averting his eyes to some point in the room but far away from you or his partner. Sakusa let out the same sound, though quieter and with a shook of his head before rounding the couch and grabbing the bowl himself. “Why won’t you eat?” he asked, directing his questions to you now. “You should be thankful for the food you are given.”

“I don’t want it,” you replied, as confident as you could. The truth was that whenever your eyes met, you felt as if any strength you had was pulled from you. It may have been due to the fact you had argued and pleaded with this man for the first few days of your kidnapping, but out of the two, Sakusa was the one that scared you more than your childhood friend who had no backbone, joining forces with this madman.

Letting the soup slide over and from the spoon a few times, Sakusa eventually took a small sip of it, his thoughts hidden well behind the indifference in his expression. “There’s no reason for you to not eat it. It’s completely fine.”

“I don’t want it since it’s you giving it to me.”

Silence raked through the room while Atsumu shuffled behind your back, pressing you closer again. For a moment, you thought this time, it might be to protect you, rather for his own pleasure, and you were quick to realize why. “Are you an idiot?” was Sakusa’s short yet meaningful reply to your defiance, his face scrunching up into disbelieve. “Other people would be happy to have this kind of luxury of being fed.”

“Omi...” Atsumu tried to settle the rising dispute, but a raised hand from his teammate was enough to shut him up uncomfortably. “I’m not other people,” you spoke up for yourself, trying to stay calm and not let him agitate you. “After all, I have to be locked up with you two crazy bastards.”

This time, the silence felt like an eternity. As if it was slowly but surely cutting through your body as if you were butter. Perhaps, you had been too comfortable simply refusing and struggling against them for the last two days, so your mind had already started to forget about the horror you were living in.

“So that’s what you think about us,” was all that Sakusa hissed back at you, his eyes drilling into your psyche like nails. Behind you, Atsumu opened his mouth again, perhaps to set you straight, but no word ever left him, Sakusa being faster than him. “No, it’s fine. A pet should hold no secrets from their owner and vice versa.”

You didn’t expect him to be the first one to avert his eyes, Sakusa’s gaze wandering back to the door in the back of the living room, the very same one you had woken up in before. The one that was filled with ‘your’ kennel and restraints and an unbelievable amount of deprecation. “So I will be very honest with you too.”

Next thing you knew, Sakusa was up again, having reached for your hands still locked between yours and Atsumu’s body. This time, when you fell to the floor, it was anything but controlled, your ass being the first to hit the resistance of the ground, and you gasped in pain as your shoulder slammed into the coffee table. There wasn’t enough time to grasp how your body hurt at that moment, the back of your shirt being tugged at, the fabric pressing into your throat at the front as you were dragged over the floor gasping for air.

“You will be thankful for what we do for you in the future. You don’t have any choice. Until then, you’ll stay in your cage and think about your behavior. Don’t even think about making a ruckus, or you won’t live to see what I will do to you, do you understand?”

Instantly, the dread of feeling the cold, uncomfortable bars against your body made your heart drop in your chest. You couldn’t even get used to the darkness in the boarded-up room without sunlight from the windows when you already heard the lock fall into place.

“No! NO!” you cried out, forgetting all about his warning and slamming yourself towards the only source of light coming from the open door to the living room. “Don’t leave me here again! Please!”

It was pathetic. Using big words just seconds prior to this, and yet, here you were pleading with him to spare you the agony of this place. But despite not wanting to be here, in this apartment, you had a special dislike of being confined in this cold, tiny space all by yourself. You’d rather hang out on the couch, unproductively watching TV with Atsumu all weekend long than having to listen to the clicking of the clock as the only companion you had in this room. You, actually begging to not be left here, was just proof of how desperate you were, scared of the anxiety and degradation you had experienced last time.

“You’ll have enough time to think about your behavior here,” Sakusa sighed, annoyed by your screams. “Learn your place.”

“I do! I know... I just...”

“You know nothing.”

“Omi...” you suddenly heard from the door. Unsure, gripping onto his own arm, Atsumu stood there, the light revealing a conflicted expression playing on his face. “That’s just... It’s too much, man,” he mumbled, and Sakusa let out another deep sigh.

“I told you it wouldn’t be easy, Atsumu. You can still get out if you don’t think you can do it, but don’t pull me down with you. I won’t tell anyone about your involvement if that worries you.”

Standing up, Sakusa seemed to glide out of the shadow, approaching Atsumu who’s gaze shifted from you to his partner in crime. “I’ll take good care of them,” Sakusa promised, though his voice was so indifferent, you had trouble believing that he meant it. “No...” Atsumu eventually spoke up after a moment of contemplation. “I love them just as much- No, I love them more than you. I can’t leave now.”

“Then you understand that this is necessary, right?”

For the first time, as you looked into Atsumu’s eyes, you felt the hints of pity come over you, your old friend looking like a beaten dog next to Sakusa. You barely could believe that Atsumu listened to the manipulative words of someone who should have no rule over your both lives. Someone who didn’t hide how toxic he was at all, but it seemed like Atsumu ate out of his hand as Sakusa held it out to him.

One hand patting Atsumu’s shoulder, Sakusa turned around to you, his scolding, suppressing gaze making you lose all hope of escaping this. He reached for the doorknob, and the only thing you could do was try to reach out, fingers curling into the bars of the kennel, your voice cracking as you called out, “Atsu--”

But you were cut off by the darkness now filling the room, seeping into your throat through your open mouth as you wanted to call out to your childhood friend to save you. Because he loved you, he said so himself. His reason to be here was you, so he was as good as anyone to protect you from this hell you found yourself in. You were desperate enough to even believe in him after everything Atsumu did to you.

Only, what you hadn’t realized so far, was that he had been manipulated into this, as Sakusa was now trying to do to you.

And perhaps, that meant there was no saving for either of you.

[high-functioning-lokipath]

Loki x Reader - Glorious Purpose - Words: 2,578

Based on this prompt:

Enemies-to-lovers, but instead of featuring a villain redemption arc, the heroic one is getting progressively more corrupt, unhinged and fucked up, and the one who was originally the clear-cut villain out of the two is just like "well mark me down as scared and horny"

You were a somewhat independent agent, but officially you worked with SHIELD. Fury had recruited you although you had yet to move back to New York to be closer to everything. At the moment, you were enjoying an extended stay in Europe. It had started with a small mission and you decided to vacation for a while, take a well deserved break.

"Champagne?" A waiter asked you. You nodded, taking a glass from his tray before he continued on. You'd managed to get yourself an invitation to a gala in Stuttgart and you weren't one to pass up free food and wine so you went. Your gaze floated across the room and you resisted the urge to roll your eyes. Everyone here had the same look: stuffy, stuck up, money coming out their-

"Pardon me," A man said. He walked up behind you, bumping into you accidentally.

"It's fine," You said automatically. Looking up at him, your eyes widened slightly. Now he was handsome. He smirked at you and you opened your mouth to say something but he turned away. Unfortunately, just as quickly as you had seen him and he had already gone. You wandered around for a few more minutes before the guest speaker walked out. You worked your way to the front of the crowd to listen to him. Even with your heels though you weren't tall enough to see over everyone. Suddenly you looked up, seeing movement on the stairs. For a moment you thought you'd see the man from earlier walking down. "Is he another guest speaker?" You wondered. Before you could get any closer to get a better view, you heard screaming. And then everyone started running. You finally elbowed your way to the front and saw the mysterious man walking away from the guest speaker who was now lying unconscious across the big fancy table. You ignored the speaker and chased after the dark-haired stranger. He had a dark smirk painted across his lips. Just before he walked outside, there was a bright glimmer around him and his sharp suit transformed into golden and leather armor. "A bit much," You thought with a silent chuckle. To get a better view, you transported yourself next to a small souvenir booth, watching as he approached the terrified crowd. Duplicates of his suddenly appeared around the edge of the crowd, including one only a few yards away from you.

"I said, KNEEL!" He yelled, slamming his scepter on the ground. The crowd immediately followed his orders. Your phone in your pocket buzzed and you discreetly checked it.

Are you still in Germany? - Fury

LOL I'm assuming you're heading my way. You should see this guy! 👑 - Y/N

Wait for the team, Y/N - Fury

…or what? 🙄😏 - Y/N

You pocketed your phone and walked out, skirting the crowd and making your way to the mystery man. The real one you assumed.

"Is not this simpler?" He started. "Is this not your natural state? It's the unspoken truth of humanity, that you crave subjugation." He spoke eloquently, not surprising you all that much considering his attire. Although his phrasing confused you slightly. It was as though he wasn't speaking to fellow humans. You supposed most men who considered themselves superior often did so though. "The bright lure of freedom diminishes your life's joy in a mad scramble for power, for identity. You were made to be ruled. In the end, you will always kneel."

"Not to men like you," You spoke up, having snuck up beside him. He smirked, walking towards you and towering over you.

"There are no men like me," He gloated. He reached out to grab you but you ducked and ran behind him. Whipping around he held his scepter out, pointing at you. "Let her be an example to you!" He yelled to the crowd. As he shot, the Captain dropped in. He stood in front of you and blocked the blast with his shield.

"I didn't need that, Steve," You hissed.

"Just shut up and help me," He replied. You rolled your eyes and teleported to a more strategic location before Mr. Gold and Leather noticed.

"You know, the last time I was in Germany and saw a man standing above everybody else, we ended up disagreeing," Steve said. You rolled your eyes.

"We get it, Steve, you're old!" You yelled. Sometimes Steve got on your nerves. The man turned to you but Natasha quickly distracted him. She was flying the quinjet above, aiming a machine gun at him. They continued fighting and you watched the movements of the stranger, looking for a weak spot.

Suddenly you hear loud rock music blasting over the PA. Just before Iron Man swoops in, the music preceding his actual appearance, you see your chance. "Over here, pretty boy," You call out, your smirk almost matching his. As he approaches you, you whip out one of your knives from your thigh holster, twirling it in your hand.

"Oo, feisty," He grins. He points his scepter at you, about to touch your chest with it, when you teleport behind him. In the split second of his confusion, you jump up, grabbing the horns of his helmet, and kick him in the back of his knees. He falls back and you duck out of the way, letting him land hard on his back on the ground. He lets out a huff as the wind gets knocked out of him and you quickly stand over him, planting a foot on his chest. You know he could throw you off easily but you're holding a knife to his throat as well so you take your chances.

"Your turn," You say. He holds his hands up, his armor glimmering once again before revealing a much simpler outfit. You shook your head, still confused as to where he was from. This clothing was obviously not bought at the local department store. Once the team had restrained him and loaded him into quinjet, you wandered over to him, watching him closely. Cap and Stark were passive aggressively talking off to the side, as if the stranger couldn't hear them. You shook your head and walked over, taking a seat next to him. "Hi," You said with a small smile. "What's your name?" He raised his eyebrows in surprise.

"You do not know who I am?" He asked. You shook your head and chuckled.

"You're a well dressed man who apparently wants to take over the world. That's about all I know. Fury never tells me anything so I'm flying blind here."

"I am Loki of Asgard," He grinned. He was about to launch into his "Glorious purpose" speech, when thunder and lightning rattled loudly outside. Loki got a frightened look on his face, trying to look outside from his seat.

"Are you ok?" You asked. Loki's head whipped back to you, eyes staring into yours.

"I-no," He admitted, something in his eyes .

"What's the matter? Scared of a little lightning?" Cap asked Loki.

"I'm not overly fond of what follows," He said. As he spoke you finally figured it out.

"Your brother is Thor!" You exclaimed.

"Unfortunately," He replied as the God of Thunder himself landed on the roof of the plane. When Stark opened the back hatch and Thor landed inside, you frowned, nose scrunching in disgust.

"Oh my gosh what a himbo," You mumbled. Loki stared at you for a moment, eyebrows raised in surprise, and opened his mouth to say something but was swiftly yanked out of his seat by his brother.

You didn't see Loki again until the Helicarrier. Up until that day you'd never doubted Fury even though you didn't like working with others, but suddenly you weren't sure who to trust. Stark and Banner thought Fury was up to no good with the Tesseract and, while Steve didn't want to agree with them, he just confirmed their theory. You just helped him break into the storage room and we're staring at each other in shock.

"Weapons. Fury is making weapons. That lying-"

"Ok," You sighed, interrupting the Captain's exclamation. "Get this back to Tony. I'm going to check on something else. Meet back at the lab?" Steve nodded and headed out with the gun.

You stealthily made your way to Loki's cell. While you were mildly terrified, you needed to talk to him. When you walked in the room, you saw Natasha already there.

"There's not many people that can sneak up on me," Loki said, smirking as he turned to face her.

"But you figured I'd come."

"After. After whatever tortures Fury can concoct, you would appear as a friend, as a balm. And I would cooperate."

You listened as they talked, hiding in an unseen corner of the room. "I've got red in my ledger, I'd like to wipe it out," Natasha said.

"Can you? Can you wipe out that much red? Drakov's daughter? Sao Paulo? The hospital fire? Barton told me everything. Your ledger is dripping, it's gushing red, and you think saving a man no more virtuous than yourself will change anything?" At this point Loki had stood from his seat across the cell and was slowly making his way, stalking, towards her. "This is the basest sentimentality. This is a child at prayer, pathetic! You lie and kill in the service of liars and killers.You pretend to be separate, to have your own code, something that makes up for the horrors. But they are a part of you, and they will never go away!" Finally he slammed his fist against the glass, startling both you and Natasha. "I won't touch Barton. Not until I make him kill you! Slowly. Intimately. In every way he knows you fear! And when he'll wake just long enough to see his good work, and when he screams, I'll split his skull! This is my bargain, you mewling quim!"

Natasha had backed away, shaking, eyes wide in terror. "You're a monster," She gasped.

"No," Loki chuckled darkly. "You brought the monster."

"So, Banner. That's your play," Natasha said, suddenly not crying or seemingly emotional at all. Loki was shocked. Natasha hurried out of the room, thanking Loki and talking hurriedly on her ear piece.

You quickly slipped out of your hiding place and hurried over to the cell. "What are you doing here?" Loki sneered.

"I have some questions," You said. He rolled his eyes and huffed. "Personal ones. This is for my own agenda."

"Fine, one question," He relented, smirking slightly. Loki fully expected you to still be trying to gather information from him.

"Look, I listened to your little speech there. I don't completely agree with you but you have a point. In some respects we're no better off than you," You said. Loki raised an eyebrow curiously, watching as you stood right against the glass, staring up at him confidently. "If I were to help you, what would be in it for me? I want an honest answer or at least a believable lie. Don't give me a "glorious purpose, bright lure of freedom" speech. Tell me something I can believe. What would you do if I helped you?"

"I can't promise you anything except your life. I promise I won't kill you. Now, if you're stupid enough get yourself killed-"

"I get it," You chuckled. Nodding you smiled at him. "I'll let you know." With that you left, leaving the God of Mischief to his thoughts.

When you rejoined the rest of the team in the Lab they were, unsurprisingly, arguing again. "I'm sorry, what were you lying?" Tony said, showing Fury the files he'd just hacked. Steve was standing next to the weapon, Fury was yelling, everyone was pointing fingers. You shook your head but saw your opportunity. In the commotion, no one was paying any attention to the scepter. You bit your lip nervously. You had to make a decision.

The entire Helicarrier was in chaos. It was nearly impossible to make your way to Loki's cell without being seen but you eventually made it. With so many agents running around you didn't want to risk teleporting and find yourself at the wrong end of their guns.

When you finally reached the cell you saw the door open and Loki standing in it. "No!" Thor yelled, running at him. You almost cried out to stop Thor but then you noticed movement from the other side of the glass cage. As Thor tumbled through Loki's illusion you grinned.

"Are you ever not going to fall for that?" Loki asked Thor, locking him in the cell. Thor roars and slams Mjolnir on the glass which cracks under the impact. Both you and Loki are surprised, having thought the cell was indestructible. Loki walks over to the control panel slowly. "The humans think us immortal. Should we test that?" Before he can press the button, Agent Coulson shows up with one of the weapons you'd seen in storage.

"Move away, please," He says. "You like this? We started working on the prototype after you sent the Destroyer. Even I don't know what it does. Do you wanna find out?"

As Phil was speaking you snuck up behind him. And just before he shot Loki you shoved the scepter into his back, stabbing him through. Pulling it back out you dropped him to the ground and grinned at Loki. 'Pity,' You thought. 'Phil always seemed to be such a nice guy.'

"Why did you do that?" Loki asked, staring at you in surprise. There was an odd look of terror and excitement on his face. "I didn't promise you anything."

"Yes you did," You said, walking up to him and handing him the scepter. "You promised me loyalty." The facade cracked for a moment, a soft smile slipping through. "And you're pretty."

"I like you!" Loki laughed, grabbing your waist and pulling you against him. "Shall we?" He asks, gesturing to the red button.

"Of course," You reply. Your hand hovers over it and you glance back at Thor who is in disbelief. "It's nothing personal, Thor," You say. "Or, actually," You look back at Loki and smile. "It definitely is." You press the button and air whooshes around you as it falls to the earth below.

"You're gonna lose," Coulson says weakly.

"Am I?" Loki asks, turning to look at him.

"It's in your nature."

"Your heroes are scattered, your floating fortress falls from the sky. Where is my disadvantage?"

"You lack conviction," Phil replies.

"Not anymore," Loki sneers at him, holding you even tighter.

"So what are you gonna do about it?" You taunt. Suddenly you're both blasted out of the aircraft.

"So that's what it does."

You scream, closing your eyes and clinging to Loki as you both fall. "Calm down," Loki yells. Suddenly there's hard ground below you. As you open your eyes and reorient yourself you see it's actually hardwood.

"Where are we?" You ask.

"Stark Tower." Standing up you see the city skyline before you just outside the window. "It's about to begin," He says. "Are you still with me?"

"Yes," You reply immediately, taking his hand. He tilts your chin up and kisses you softly in contrast to his overall demeanor.

"We shall rule together then, my queen," He promises. You nod and kiss him again before you walk out to the balcony to wait for the inevitable arrival of the Avengers.

"Together."

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[sopebubbles]

Friendly Fighter Fodder (vol. 1)

Please grab a warm beverage of your choice and gather round! Maddie and I want to share some of our thoughts on the ongoing BTS series, "Fighter." If this isn't your thing or you rather make up your own opinions or wait until the end to read this kind of thing, no worries! This is all just for fun because creating complex characters is one of our favorite parts of writing!

It's also important to note that there will be no spoilers here. Anything discussed will be based on information already available through the story. And with that being said...

It's time for some armchair psychoanalysis 🥳🥳🥳

Ready Jungkook?

He's ready.

So it's pretty safe to say that Y/n and Taehyung did not have a healthy relationship. They were both lying to each other. Y/n didn't even give her real name. And at this time, still doesn't use her real name. When discussing the break-up, Maddie brought up a great point... "Their relationship was unhealthy, so why would their breakup be healthier? Like, did Val explain things clearly to him? No, not at all! But is her mind in a normal place at all? Is her mind even capable of working 'normally' after so much trauma? No. She's legitimately thinking: the person I am, the real me now is such a fucked up person that Taehyung cannot possibly ever love me and I won't sit around and beg him to because I don't deserve that [love]."

Personally, I feel really bad for Y/n. Outside of everything else she's been through, she never let herself grieve the relationship she had with Taehyung. She did genuinely care about him, she even says that she loved him, but rather than accepting that which she doesn't feel she deserves, it's easier to tell herself it's all a lie. Neither of them were truthful, but it doesn't change that they had something real. Yeah. But I also think her love of him was love for the version of herself that she was with him. So mourning for their relationship is a lot about mourning the life she can't have too.

Think about it this way, between 15-20 her life wasn't her own at all. This is the time when we do so much discovery about who we are and Y/n was literally just trying to survive. Now for the last two years, she's had "freedom" and she let herself believe her life could be "normal" only to find out what she's known deep inside all along...that it was only a facade. And now she's dealing with that realization while hiding in a home with people she doesn't know and whose profession she hates and has severe trauma-associated with. Yes, exactly and it isn't as if she's consciously dealing with all that. No, she's worried about killing Joaquin because she thinks that will magically make all her problems disappear. Right. And I think there are a lot of people believe that trauma recovery always makes a person behave in sympathetic ways when that's simply not true.

I think a really important point is that her mind is a real mess and she has coping mechanisms for quieting that. Mainly through exercise. Which is why she craves it. Her sense of self is a mess. But at the point in life where most people are trying to find that sense of self and being able to try new things and meet new people to form those pieces of identity, she was a prisoner, fighting for her life. So, if her personality appears a little erratic, well, of course it does. I think on some level she's trying to figure out what the best personality is to survive and get what she needs at any given moment, but she has no flipping idea what it is. What I find really interesting is that when she justifies her feelings against Taehyung, she says that she was lying about her past and he was lying about his present, which is why he was worse than her. But in a lot of ways, Taehyung is actually the same guy she dated. He just also happens to be a gangster. Meanwhile, Val is a persona in her mind that she created because she thinks "good things" happen to girls named "Val." So yeah, Taehyung is being a massive dick in a lot of ways and he is not respecting Y/n's space, but he's just acting how he's always acted. I mentioned it in comments before, but I'll say it here again. Y/n expressed her insecurity at being left. Y/n expressed her insecurity about Taehyung not wanting to have sex with her. Y/n feels really insecure about who she is and what she looks like and whether or not Taehyung will accept her as she is. So him being possessive was a way to reassure her. He was trying to do the right thing.

Even if his behavior mirrored Joaquin's in a lot of ways, I don't think Y/n consciously recognized that. Or at least not at first. She hasn't made relationships or gotten to know people on her own before, and here she is falling for this guy who treats her like a possession and no, it's not healthy but it's what she's used to.

Y/n isn't any less toxic than Taehyung is in this situation, and she doesn't know how to be.

I think, and I wanted to illustrate this with that discussion of dreams in today's chapter, that she still really only thinks of safety, not even necessarily of happiness. She hopes that maybe, when she's safe, then happiness will find a way. That something will be clear then. She just literally doesn't know what that could even look like.

Oof. I think we'll stop there for now. Please look at this cozy picture of Tae as a token of my gratitude. Thank you for tuning in! We love interaction, so stop by any time!

[caesthetix]

SAY A LITTLE PRAYER — Ep. What Paradise Is

↪Eren Yeager mini-series

↪content; major character death, canon universe, heavy angst, description of violence, established relationship, spoiler for season 4, alternate ending, manga spoiler

"You know, I can't help but thank Eren that he killed her that night."

Everyone was busy with themselves after Jean beat Reiner to a pulp. The rest of them who were still awake, circling the campfire, waiting for sleepiness to engulf them. But that sentence was enough to stop them from dozing off, some pairs of eyes decided to fall upon them instead.

Hange tried to be neutral all the time. They needed to be the mediator between the Marleyans and the rest of the Survey Corps. After all, they needed each other if they wanted to stop the rumbling. Yet they couldn't help but speak up, they were human too after all.

"Huh?" It was Connie. "What do you mean by that, H-Hange-san?"

They just smiled softly as they looked down, watching their own reflection from the brown liquid in their hand. It was your favourite drink, coffee. Every sip would always be savoured as they imagined you sitting right in front of them.

"But we could use her strength. If she lived, she could help us to sway Eren." Armin spoke up, responding to their statement before. His blue eyes staring at the crackling fire, deep in his thoughts. "When we lost her, we lost seventy-five percent of the chance for winning this without having to harm Eren."

"You tell me that is the reason why he killed her?" The scowl on Connie's face hardened as he tried to connect the dots. "So we can't use her against him, eh? What a coward at the end. That lunatic bastard—"

"She would have followed him."

Mikasa's voice was soft and tiny as she cut his sentence. Yet even though it heard like a whisper, everyone could hear what she said. They blinked in confusion, except Hange and Jean who currently stood a few feet from them, somehow understood. The Marleyan raised their eyebrows in confusion, Annie could not understand what they were all talking about.

The rest of them were begging for more information, but the ravenette didn't give them any.

"She would have followed him."

Instead, she repeated the words. Her friends would understand her sentence — if they decided to use their brains for a while. They all knew you, she didn't have to give any further explanation regarding her statement.

Of course, now they understood why Hange thanked Eren for what he did to you. Even if you were alive right now, you were not going to be here, eating stew and drinking coffee while fretting about how to stop your lover who tried to commit genocide to the whole world.

You were going to be there, by his side, with your swords ready to be pointed out to anyone who tried to stop and harm Eren in any way. You would stand there, devoting your heart not for humanity, but for him. That was how big your love was, something that was blinding you, to the extent of worshipping him.

And they couldn't imagine themselves to be the one who sears their blades at you.

"You never told us, Hange."

Jean's voice filled the void, his feet stomping the grass underneath him, echoing through the quiet night. "That night, you never told us what happened." He stood on the other side of the campfire, his tall body looming in front of them as they seated on the ground.

The brunette stared at the man with a stern gaze, contemplating if it was the right moment to tell them. But their time was limited now, as their friends, they all deserved to know what happened that night.

"Alright." They put the metal cup down their lap. "Though I remind you now, it wouldn't be pleasant but," It even felt so heavy for them, by just thinking about your death. "But it would be so — her."

The veteran scout told them everything. From how you stood in front of their door, the coffee that they shared with you, to the time you cried when they gave you the key so you could go inside his cell. They were sure that you went there to talk and asked for a reason, but they knew thirty minutes wouldn't be enough.

Jean felt bad for asking, as he could see how much the commander suffered from this burden. Hange's hand balled into a fist, the other gripping tight on the cup's handle. Yet they keep on going, telling them how they saw Eren wash his face as if his hands were not stained by his lover's blood.

They explained the bruises on your neck, shaped like fingers as an indicator of how you died.

"Fuck." Jean cursed, his eyes glistening with tears that were threatening to fall. "Fuck." He shouldn't have asked, but it was too late, he could see the horror in your eyes, how afraid you were that night, how you were screaming for help but no one came.

For you to die, and the one who was responsible was your lover, he couldn't imagine the betrayal on your—

"But you know what's funny?" Hange spoke up once again, they were not finished yet. Their comrades immediately looked at them once again, asking for them to continue.

They sipped their coffee, recalling the gleam in your eyes, the comfort that they remembered up until now. There was no terror, you were not afraid of him even in your last moment. "There was no sign of resistance."

And that fact was enough to wake them up.

"Even from the start, when Eren choked her, she just stood there, letting him do it." They chuckled, almost maniacal. "Her eyes still shone with comfort as she looked at him. I-I always figure her out, I understand a lot of things about her. But, but I can't with this one."

They stopped, groaning as once again your eyes were the only thing that they could see. "I don't know anymore if she really believed that he must have to kill her for a reason," His hand shook the cup gently, letting the liquid swirl inside. "Or she believed that he would stop and let her go, even until she's gone for real."

And that last sentence broke them all.

The Marleyan couldn't look at the broken soldiers in front of them. Gabi and Falco pursed their lips, trying so hard to sleep. Annie who was sitting beside the unconscious Reiner, now having her pupils dilated as she understood the story, and who would be the mysterious woman that made them distressed like this.

Connie was silent as he kept gulping down water down his throat. Armin closed his eyes, but he could see it so clearly, the faith in your orbs. Jean just chuckled bitterly, muttering stupid woman again and again as tears were cascading down his cheek.

Then, Mikasa, her lips trembled as she tried not to sob. But whimpers already slipped, her empty cup fell to the ground as she put her hands on her ears as she wanted to stop the noises in her head. You brought joy, even in her life, and to be reminded that you were killed by Eren nonetheless, tore her apart.

The rest of the night was filled with nothing but sorrow. Tears accompanied them all to their sleep, silent weeps and choked-out sobs could be heard here and there.

Hange could only stay put under the white cloth that works as their blanket, staring into the dark green of trees, then went beyond that to see the night blue skies which adorned with stars. They subconsciously raised their hand, as if they were reaching for someone.

“Tell me, Hange!”

They tried to understand him, they really did. When they closed your eyes as you laid on the infirmary bed, they knew that you would appreciate it if they tried to understand why he killed you. Down in the basement, they tried to bait him with your condition, blaming him for how they lost another comrade.

“If there’s another way, then tell me what it is!”

But they were not you, they couldn’t see it. They wanted a reason but all they got from the man was just subtle answers, pain, anger, and how what he did was something inevitable. They just knew that he suffered too from what he had done, so perhaps it was enough.

They just wished — they could understand you.

"Oh, (Y/n)." They sighed, finally letting the tears slip down their cheeks. No one else saw them, it was just their lonely soul and the craving for your existence. "I think I didn’t know you enough."

✧･ﾟ: *✧･ﾟ:* ༶•┈┈⛧┈〄┈⛧┈┈•༶ *:･ﾟ✧*:･ﾟ✧

His vision was supposed to be filled with lights, dark blue lights that came from the coordinate. He used to know it all, see it all, what happened in the world as he activated the rumbling, he could hear all the screams from those people underneath him. Trampled by gigantic power, without given any mercy.

He couldn't remember when it stopped. The terror, his friends fighting him so they could stop his plan — suddenly all he saw was just a bright pinkish sky. It was as if he was laying down on one of the clouds, soft and free.

The breeze tickled his long hair, good that it just swayed his brown strands softly, but not good enough to give him comfort.

Comfort, oh, how much he longed for that word.

The past few days had been so hard as he kept on living to grant freedom to the Island of Paradis. He could not count how many of his comrades died, how many of his followers ended up not seeing that freedom, let alone all the lives that he took.

And now when he knew that he failed, he chuckled as the realisation dawned upon him. After all these years — he was still the same useless boy.

"Eren."

He sat up in an instant. Dark green eyes searching for the source of where it came from. Surely he was not hallucinating, but that was a possibility. He didn't even know what this place, let alone believing that it was her voice.

"Hey, Eren."

But it was indeed your voice. No matter how many days or weeks passed after some time he had to part with you, he could always recognise that voice anywhere. Gentle, warm, and comforting, it felt like he was so close to heaven.

"You are here."

Then he felt it. He felt you. He looked down on his torso, finding two arms wrapped around him from behind. It felt so right as his hand slowly covered yours, testing it in case it was all in his head. But he could touch, he could trace his finger on the back of your hand.

He laughed, just a short one as he still processed what kind of magic existed in this place. You rested your chin on his shoulder, planting a peck on his cheek without warning that caused him to blush a hundred shades of red.

"(Y/n)?" He called out your name. "Are you real?" You only answered with a single hum. "How come are you real? Where is this place? Why am I here? I am not supposed to be here, I needed to finish the plan, Ymir is—"

You shut him up by placing your finger in front of his lips.

"You are free, Eren."

Silence. He could not understand that. Did it mean that he already died? But if that was the truth, why did he even feel more alive now compared to all those years that he spent before?

You slowly retracted your finger, pulling yourself from his embrace as gently as possible. Eren was still deep in thought, hands falling to the cloud-like ground he was sitting on right now. You stood up and walked in front of him, bare feet were now within his eyesight.

He could touch you before, and it didn’t feel like he was hallucinating. He felt your kiss before, and it made him sure that it was real. Bewildered, he looked up only to find you looking forward. Even though he felt that he was finally free, he was still curious about what happened in this moment.

"What is this place?" He asked again, now a lot calmer than before as he gazed at your face which showed nothing but peace.

"A transit." You started, eyes never leaving the glowing sight in front of you. "A place where you are finally free, but still misplaced since it was not the last destination where you should go." He hummed, processing your words that still felt unreal.

"Then why are you here?" All this afterlife thing was so foreign for him. "Why don't you leave and go to your last destination?"

"Oh, boy, you really asking me that?" You chuckled softly, snickering as if that was the dumbest question that you ever heard. Your eyes finally cast down to face him, and when he still looked so confused, you could only let out a sigh. "Because I am waiting for you, Eren."

You smiled wistfully, extending your hand for him to take. "What else could it be at this point?" He took it as he nodded at your answer. You helped him up, letting him stand by himself. And now as he looked around the endless clouds, he could finally embrace the fact that he was indeed — dead.

Anywhere he looked, he could only find the soft, white clouds refreshing the air. The colour was tinted orange as the sun in front of him shone like it would set anytime soon. But it had been perhaps minutes by now, and yet the colour never changed.

If he was finally here to feel his freedom, then he would take it. The world where he lived before was not his responsibility anymore. His friends had won, and it was not his place to ask for what happened next. Yes, he was ready to be free. But as he looked at you, he still had one, unanswered question that he needed to know.

"Hey, (Y/n)." He cleared his throat, melancholy striking his feature as your gaze met with his.

"Yes, Eren?"

How come you are here on his side? Why did you stay in this place alone just to wait for him? He killed you, why are you not running away? There was so much, so many questions that he never dared to ask you. But one, he needed to know the answer to this one question.

"Why don't you fight back when I try to kill you?"

You didn't flinch, you stood there with a neutral expression as if he just asked you if you had eaten before.

"Truthfully, Eren? I always thought that you were just trying to make me hate you. Looking at me with those cold eyes, tightening your grip like that." Your finger subconsciously went to your neck. "At first, I thought you were going to let me go at some point."

He could feel a lump start forming in his throat as he listened, tears were threatening to fall already. That was what you felt that night, you didn’t want to die. Of course, who in the right mind wanted to die? Let alone killed by someone that you loved.

"But as seconds passed and you were not loosening the grip, I understood." Then you continued, your hand now fell back to your side. Though, you still looked at him with earnestness written all over your face. "I understand that you had to kill me for a reason, that you knew it was for the best."

His breath hitched at your statement; which was supposed to make him feel guilty, to make him feel like he was not worthy of your faith. But with how there was no ill will nor sadness in your intonation, he couldn't feel any other feelings except — relief.

"So I believed in you, and I wanted you to know until the end that wherever I go next, I will always devote my heart to you."

You said it without doubt, as if you have been saying the same thing over and over again throughout your life. Yet somehow he could know that it was the truth. Perhaps you said that inside your heart for all the times that you spent with him.

While you still alive, you have put your faith in him, following him anywhere he goes. No one could sway your belief, you were devoted solely just to him. You praised his name, never leaving his side under any circumstances.

And he realised — that was the way you said you loved him.

So now, it was his time to do the same, to believe in you.

"Come on, Eren." You dusted the non-existent wrinkles on your clothes before extending your hand for him to take, a smile never leaving your face as you waited for him patiently. "Let's go home."

And without wasting another second, without any hesitation, he reached for your hand. The smile on your face widened at this, and the wind suddenly twirled around the two of you. He didn't know where home was, he didn't know where you would take him.

But as you started to walk in the direction of the sun, he followed. His eyes looked forward, dark green eyes turned into the emerald shade that was gone before. It was so beautiful, how he walked above the clouds, with your hand around his, guiding him to a new place called home.

Your laugh resonated in his ears as he caught up with you, gripping your hand tighter, afraid that he would lose you if he loosened up. Yet somehow he knew that he wouldn't have to be scared anymore.

Now he was finally free. From the burden on his shoulders, from the duty that was thrown at him by his ancestors, from the endless nightmare that he saw on each vision — it was all gone. And as his gaze fleeted toward your running form, he blinked in astonishment.

He saw you, a younger self of you perhaps, maybe when you were nine or ten. You looked beautiful, even with your hair slightly shorter, with chubby, adorable cheeks. Then you turned to face him, and he saw those glossy beads filled with purity.

And inside those, he saw a reflection. Of a boy not older than ten years old, with a brown outer and a sage green shirt, holding on to someone. Oh, it was him. He looked so free as he ran side by side with you, he looked so free with you leading him to his new home.

Laughter filled the air that surrounded you and him; high-pitched, carefree laughter that people would hear when children ran around the street to catch one another. That happy laugh slipped from both of your lips.

He held your hand tighter, not because he was afraid to lose you, but so he could feel your love even more. He ran with you faster, now becoming the one who followed you as he believed that you were going to take him somewhere, to the last destination.

A place where he could finally be free.

With you.

↪Back to Wall Maria

↪Citizen; @queenofcurse

↪Send an ask if you want to be a citizen of Paradis (taglist)!

[w0rmc4k3]

ML Felix twins AU character outline

Basics

-Felix is Hawkmoth’s sidekick guy under the peacock miraculous

-general angsty shit, exploring and developing individual characters

-Some costume and weapons change

-points and story will be changed as developed, nothing is set in stone

++++

Felix

-Felix is Adrien’s fraternal twin brother

-he holds the peacock miraculous and helps alongside Hawkmoth (unwillingly)

-Gabriel ropes Felix into his plans because Emilie is in that catatonic state bc of him

-mega trauma and guilt because of his involvement with both his mother’s death(?) and being a villain + jealousy over his brother who lives the life he wished he had

-knows that Adrien has the cat miraculous bc that kid ain’t slick but doesn't tell his father because despite everything, Adrien is one of the only decent person left in his life and he doesn’t want to destroy the thing that makes his brother happy

=subtly helps out Adrien in his alibis (the dunce doesn’t realize it bc he’s 90% air in the brain)

-doesn’t try too hard against Ladybug and Chat noir because he doesn’t even want to fight to begin with

-torn between taking the ladybug and cat miraculous to save his mother but also wanting to do the right thing and he’s not sure what is right

-starts attending public school with Adrien, isn’t as sociable as his brother so he’s more so of a loner

-stays in the back and reads during class

-doesn’t hate the class but doesn’t know how to talk to bc people (thanks Gabriel) and is honestly too tired half of the time to try

-the peacock miraculous takes a toll on his body and he finds himself feeling more and more fatigued the more he uses it

-Gabriel doesn’t really 100% care that much bc he blames his son for his wife’s death(?) but is more lax on him in terms of work and schedule (which Adrien is fussy over bc he doesn’t know)

++++

Marinette

-genuinely wants to do the best she can but has adhd that prevents her from being able to focus on her work and gets easily distracted by multitasking and the chaotic environment she’s in

-burning house everything is fine meme

-does just fine on her own since her parents were busy running a shop when she was younger so she learned to take care of her basic necessities 

-people pleaser 1000, caves into pressure pretty easily

-she feels inclined to do work that people ask her to do because of her need to feel useful and productive that she doesn’t feel enough bc of her adhd and bc she always feels like she doesn’t contribute enough

-total door mat in the beginning, Chloe continuously bullying her up till now, her people pleaser mindset and her being taught at a young age that girls needed to listen → slowly realizes that that’s complete bullshit and tries to be more confrontational 

-as ladybug she feels a tad bit more confidence that bleeds into her everyday life, being a hero gives her that sense of accomplishment that she craved in her everyday life

-she doesn’t use a yoyo and her outfit is more Chinese-inspired (weapon still pending)

-pretty iffy about PM!felix (Possible name Paon) but realizes that he doesn't genuinely want to fight them

-she figures out the subtle clues he gives during their fights and establishes an alliance with him as their double agent

++++

Adrien

-naturally optimistic and tries to see the silver lining in all things

-he loves his brother from the sun and back and is pretty hurt about how distant he had been lately

-still he tries to bond with Felix over books he doesn’t understand and games he’s eager to introduce

-like Marinette he’s non-confrontational and always wants to keep things civilized and stable (after his mother death he learned to shut his mouth when his dad was in a mood)

-also like Marinette he gains more confidence as chat noir because he’s not under the stress of his father’s reputation, he lets out his frustrations during battle and finds joy in being able to be himself without any fear 

-when they start public school he’s overjoyed, ever since they were kids he always wanted to experience that cliched school life he’d only seen in movies 

-has no trouble fitting in with his peers, isn’t a total doormat but tries to accommodate as well as he can

-he feels guilty when he has to cancels plans and is secretly jealous of how much freedom his classmates have, even his brother

-he’s not a complete idiot and notices that his father is more lax on Felix, he also knows the difference in their treatment 

-Adrien takes after their mother while Felix takes after their father, Adrien doesn’t make the connection of his father’s preferential treatment over him but Felix does (haha more angst)

-his father pays more attention to his life than Felix and that both feeds into Adriens need for more parental attention but also adds more stress to his life because of the pressure

-he wants to make his dad happy so he does what he’s told without a fight, which causes him to more and more of a bystander and more used to problematic behavior to the point he doesn’t know that it’s problematic 

++++

[lubdubsworld]

Better Man .

~~~~~~~~~~I wish I could forget, when it was magic~~~~~~~~~~~~

Taehyung x Oc 

Rated 18 +

Post Divorce, Getting Back Together, Second chances, Angst.

 Chapter 1    Chapter 2   Chapter 3 

Chapter 4

How do you know you’re ready for kids? 

Is it after you’re financially stable enough? After you’ve partied enough? Got all the wildness inside you tamed? After you’ve grown sick of the freedom that comes with youth and what it implies ?  after you’ve grown tired of empty conversations that lead nowhere? sharing ubers with people you barely like because you’re too drunk to drive? When you just crave the comfort of people you truly love instead of strangers who grind up on you ? Or perhaps   when you start preferring silence in the evenings to the thrumming bass in some dingy nightclub? 

None of these really. 

The truth is you’re never ready. 

Hoshi had been planned. Taehyung and I had done our homework, studied everything from my ovulation cycle to the entire catalogue of some expensive breast pump , new in the market . Everything had been researched and planned and perfected : the wood the crib would be made of, the color he wallpaper in the nursery would be and the kind of diapers and wipes we would use. 

But it still threw us for a loop....how unpredictable he was.

How unpredictable the pregnancy was. 

What I wanted : Home birth. Mid wife . Taehyung by my side holding my hand.

What i got : Preeclampsia, a baby born six weeks early, Taehyung frantic on the phone in the middle of the night as he took his private jet from Japan where he was shooting a commercial. The pain of being induced into a labor that lasted for 16 hours only for my body to give up half way through. 

A c section that left a scar and numbness that hadn’t faded even now , after four whole years. three weeks in the NICU....tears and terror after learning that the  baby in the incubator right next to Hoshi’s didn’t make it. Aching to hold my son but being forced to stare at him through the glass, wires and tubes wrapped around his tiny torso. 

And through it all, Taehyung. 

Stronger than I had ever seen him. Calm and collected as he watched me pump milk for our baby, barely managing a few measly drops of it after thirty minutes of trying . His arms around me, holding me up as I tried to fight the sheer agony that came from my stitches, tried to stay conscious for the baby. Watching him carefully pour the milk into a sterile bottle to take down to the NICU . 

Falling in love with him, over and over and over again throughout the day as he did  everything for me. 

Hoshi was loved and cherished , not just because he was an expression of our love for each other. 

But a reminder of Taehyung’s love for  me. 

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

“ He’s growing out of all his clothes. I’m going to take him shopping tomorrow.”  Taehyung commented, watching Hoshi get on his tippy toes to point out the pastry he wanted from the display case, while a star struck cashier stared at Taehyung . 

Taehyung’s body guards were right near the table and while a crowd of people stood outside, none of them came too close. I was used to the attention that came with Taehyung and his celebrity status. 

“That’s a good idea. I have a couple of meetings tomorrow regarding the Christmas campaign and I may not be able to make it on the weekedn either. Is it okay if I pick him on monday evening?” I asked, cutting into the blueberry scon on my plate.

“How about I drop him off at your office. Save you the trip.” 

I hesitated, before nodding. 

“I spoke to the lawyer....she told me the papers should be processed by the end of next month. My company will make a formal announcement from both of us and we’ll say we don’t intend to answer any other media questions.”

I stared at him, watching his face carefully for something different. A sign that would explain what had changed between us because something had. I was sure of it. 

“ Why now, Taehyung?” I asked softly. 

He held my gaze for a second, eyes warm and honest. Taehyung could hide his emotions well, but his eyes always told the truth. 

“Because I’ve strung you along long enough. You deserve to be free.” He said finally.

I swallowed, looking down. 

“I ....you didn’t string me along.” I shook my head.

“I think you deserve to be loved right, without the shadow of my failures hanging over you. I don’t want you to spend the rest of your life in a limbo because of one wrong choice.”

Wrong choice. 

Whose ?

His? When he chose to drink That night?

Or mine? When I chose to walk out?

Or the both of us? For handling the fallout so badly? 

I had so many questions but I didn’t say anything. 

They were question that had no answers. 

“So we move on.” I stared at him intently.

“I will always love you. I will always be there for you.” He smiled, eyes glinting a little. 

i watched him, the familiar body. He had been my first. My best. Taehyung’s body was as familiar to me as my own and I wanted to hug him, hold him close and press kisses to his lips again. It wasn’t emotional or even sexual it was just...this urge to let him know that he was loved too. that he was adored. That he would always be loved.

“But, “ he went on, “  yes. Its been two years.... so.... we should move on. Meet other people. ” 

“Fall in love again ?” I didn’t mean to sound bitter but my tone certainly was. He gave me a very tired smile and I felt guilt bubble up inside me. 

“I’m not going to be that greedy, Mia.  I will settle for just feeling a little less alone.” He looked away and my throat closed up. 

He stood up, moving to the counter to pay for the treats that Hoshi had chosen. 

And that was it. 

I watched the small tendrils of warmth, rising up from my coffee, gossamer strips of smoke mingling in the cold air and melting into nothingness. 

Here one second gone the next.

Just like my marriage. 

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

It was a little past seven when I reached my apartment, my phone ringing just as I dropped my coat and unwrapped the scarf from around my neck. I moved quickly to the bedroom, pulling my phone out of my handbag. 

I picked the call, switching it to speaker before tossing my phone on the bed. 

“Hello?”

“Jang Mi...its Jungkook. You ready?”

I swore, stripping out of my clothes quickly, fumbling with my bra and yanking my panties down.

“I’m just about to shower.  Five me ten minutes!” 

He didn’t reply and I frowned.

“Jungkook??” i called opening the closet to grab a hairband and shower cap. 

“When you say you’re just about to shower...are you actually in the shower?” His voice  sounded a little deeper than usual. Weird. 

“What?” I was completely confused.

“Like are you naked in-”

Oh Christ. 

I rolled my eyes, hanging up quickly. Sleeping with Jungkook, while extremely pleasurable had definitely been a little too much too soon. It made him take too many liberties, ones I wasn’t particularly comfortable giving him yet. 

But I liked him. 

He was, at the end of the day a nice guy. 

A nice guy who had an actual interest in me. Those were rare to come by. 

It was another fifteen minutes before I was ready, choosing a plain black jumpsuit in a flowy georgette material. It had nice flowy sleeves and i added gold jewelry at my wrists and earrings, just for a little bling. I stared at the dress at all angles. It definitely hugged my curves right but was also impossibly hard to take off. 

So even if I got swayed by his good looks and made bad choices ,  by the time Jungkook undressed me , i would be able to come to my senses and stop myself from having sex with him again. 

Groaning at myself, I grabbed the small black jeweled clutch from inside my dresser, slipping my phone in.

I steered clear of make up, choosing just a deep red lipstick. 

The knock on the door came just as i finished slipping into black pumps . 

I opened the door , only to have a dozen red roses thrust into my hands. 

“Wow.” I whispered, glancing at him. He looked extra handsome, a blood red shirt clinging to his torso, a think black tie knotted at his neck. He gave me a devilish wink, eyes flitting all over me , licking his lips. 

i tamped down the urge to back away, reminding myself that I was supposed to be moving on. Even if it wasn’t with Jungkook, he had asked me out on a date and I had agreed. I would enjoy myself tonight. 

“Gorgeous. Ready?”

“Let me just put these in water...” I smiled at him, placing the stems into the cut glass decanter on the nearest table. I emptied the small bottle of water nearby into it , bending over to fix the petals when I felt him press right up against me. 

Startling, i nearly spilled the water all over the floor, breath catching when his chest met my back . I felt myself trembling a bit because of how warm he felt, even with the inches between us and I could smell him, the subtle cologne that handsome men wear , just to drive women crazy. 

The urge to lean into his body was so strong I had to clench my fists. Apparently,  my body was  very much on board with moving on even if my heart wasn’t. Jungkook made things worse by moaning into my ear, chin resting on my shoulder as he lightly gripped my waist, before reaching over with other hand, plucking one scarlet bloom from the bunch  

I swallowed as he wrapped both arms around me in a backhug , holding the bloom up in front of my face. 

“Do you like the scent of it?” His lips brushed my ear and I grinned. I hadn’t been flirted with , like this in years. I bent my head to lightly breath in the air near the bloom, enjoying the subtle scent. “It’s lovely.” I said honestly. 

He  casually broke the stem off, a couple of inches from the where the petals began. 

“Turn around for me “ Jungkook whispered in my ear again. I turned around quickly, my lips inches from his, refusing to back away, staring right at him. He smirked, bringing the flower up to the small upknot on the side of my head. 

I stayed still as he carefully pulled a single bobby pin out, sticking the stem into my hair before casually using his teeth to pry open the pin again and slotting it into my hair, pinning the flower in place. 

Apparently, watching Jungkook pin a rose into my hair was winning brownie points for him in my brain, because my entire body went warm , my heart beating faster. 

“I’m scared to ask why you’re so good at this...” I smiled and he raised an eyebrow.

“I have a daughter remember? Its a lot of ribbons and bows and pins.” He grinned. 

The idea that Jungkook did his daughter’s hair for her, with ribbons and flowers was so ridiculously endearing I wanted to coo. 

“There. Now we match.... A little.” he smiled. 

I stared at him, the black tie on his red shirt and the red rose against my black dress. 

“Smart. “ I nodded. 

“Shall we leave?”

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

“I had fun tonight.” Jungkook hesitated . 

The night had been so much more fun than I’d anticipated. Jungkook somehow convincing me to party crash someone’s engagement party near the pool with an open bar and ridiculous ninety’s party music. But I’d danced to my heart’s content, my hair coming undone half way through and I was only a little upset that I’d lost the red rose in the middle of people.

“I had a lot of fun too Jungkook’ah..” I smiled, honest . 

“We should do this again. Since we never got to actually talk. It was just you getting progressively drunk and dancing like you wanted to pee.” He teased and I pouted. 

I reached out and pressed a palm to his face...his skin smooth under my skin and I felt myself swaying just a little, lethargic and a little aroused from the scent of him.

“Wanna get another drink?” And then because I was completely gone and had no filter, “ If you come inside....maybe I’ll let you cum inside. if you know what I mean.....” I drawled, waggling my eyebrows. 

Jungkook’s face morphed into one of absolute shock, lips parted and then he laughed so hard he choked, coughing. 

“Wow. You  are  drunk.” He shook his head, looking amused. “ How about this.... I’ll come in and tuck you into bed and if you drink a couple of glasses of water for me, I will not tease you about this tomorrow.” He offered. 

I pouted. 

“You don’t wanna come inside...?”

“Oh baby , you have no idea how bad I wanna come inside.....but not like this” He brushed the hair off my brow, kissing my forehead...” Ask me again when you’re sober and we’ll work something out. Now let’s get you into bed.” 

I groaned as he dragged me into the bedroom. 

The moment my head hit the pillow, I fell asleep. 

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~!~

Author’s note : Not me falling in love with the second lead in my own story ugh.  He’s gonna get a separate story. I’m gonna write a whole entire fic for CFO! Jungkook , adorable single dad of cute little girl. 

I don’t have a tag list for this fic so please do let me know if you want to be tagged !!! 

[natsukitakama]

Being in relationship with the weeping monk would include :

Author note : alright I know I promised to write about Merlin and the green knight and I will. I just couldn’t stop thinking about this . Also it’s been like three months since my last writing I hope I won’t disappoint you. I expect to work on my request as soon as possible ♡ Love u guys

 I'll definetly write a Merlin and Green knights’ part 

i do not own the gif credit to the owner 

Warning : some mention of smut but nothing too serious / mention of trauma / Spoiler 

A lot of patience, I cannot imagine how much trauma this man went through. Apparently he is the only survivor (or at least Ash are barely here anymore) from his species and believe during his whole life that he was damned, he should be ashamed about his true being. In addition he grew up into a fanatical church, so it might be difficult to get to know him especially if you are a fey 

Unlike his « father » he doesn’t hate fey but believe they need to expel their darkness such as him and that’s why he is working hard for the church so he could earn his freedom and soul. But then he realized they were barely followed their own rule, monk aren’t supposed to kill children but his father does. 

He felt betrayed and had no longer a place and a purpose to follow. I’m pretty sure he’ll follow squirrel since he does seem to like him. It will take time for him to trust you enough to even talk with you and it won’t help if you’re fey cause he won’t understand why you’re trying to be nice to him especially because of the killing he’s done for the church 

If you want to get close to him just take your time, the man can be harsh and he’ll be on the defensive since his background with the church. It will take time but he will be nicer with you eventually 

He tends to go nicer if you’re caring with him, always asking him how he is doing, if he is feeling well, proposing yourself to patch him or anything. He is a touch-starved adult man, and I believe he doesn’t have much love in his life neither from the church nor from his family (or barely since he was raised by Father) 

When he will finally feel confortable enough around you, he’ll talk a lot about you from specific things such as what are you working on, how’s your training doing, to banality : anything to make you talk honestly. He just loves your voice it just calm him down everytime. He loves your voice, he really loves it. 

He loves your smile too and would be jealous anytime he saw you smiling to anyone who isn’t him 

Cause here’s the thing, he is a monk, he shouldn’t be materialist or anything but he can’t help : if there is something to know about Lancelot is that he does not share. Not even you. 

Even if you’re not in relationship, he believes no one has the right to be next to you, he is working hard to earn that right so he’ll threaten ( sending death glare) anyone who’ll be too comfortable around you. I’m not joking about it this is man is possessive fight me on this. 

At this point you would ask me, how does he fall in love with us ? Easy one : One night after a huge fight he was sitting near of a camp fire, everyone was already asleep too sore to bother extinguish the flames, everyone but you and him. As you were walking into your bed for the night you catch him staring at the fire, he looked focused and lost at the same time as if he were asking  himself « what the hell i’m doing here ». You were wondering if he didn’t have a second thought, after all he joined you and squirrel not that long ago he might be still into the church’s philosophy. So you walked into his direction, determined to know what’s going on Lancelot’s mind. When you sat close to him he barely moves as if he was expecting you to do something like this. 

At first you said nothing not knowing what to say to hurt him. But seeing him focused, looking as lost as a  child, gave you strength to face him and his insecurities. So you asked him what’s wrong and if you could help in any way. 

He didn’t say anything, but judging by his expression you knew he was looking at his word carefully. 

« Do you think I am monster ? » 

« What ? »

« Y/N do you think i’m monster ? » 

« No of course not why would you say that ? » 

He didn’t answer back instead he just stared at the fire and then you realized what was behind his question 

« Lance’ look I can’t say that I know what you’re experiencing right know as much as I can’t say that I understand what you’re going through. But I know something Lance’ no matter what people would say about you, remember that me, Y/N do not see you as a monster quite contrary all I see right now is a broken man trying to find his path. » 

« How can you say that ? I-I murdered a lot of us » 

« But you’re trying to change, you did once to save squirrel and you’re trying again » 

« How can you be so sure about it ? I still believe on the power of the church » 

« Lance… Do you think I am monster ? Do I deserve to die ? » 

« What ? No ! Of course not » 

« See ? You’re changing and if you want another argument you never be so talkative before » 

Hearing him chuckled told you you were successful for now at least. You knew he needed to take time because of everything he’s been through. You never noticed, but that day he realized by his quick answer that you mean something to him. He knew by his reaction that he would never be able to hurt you. You put faith on him while he couldn’t even believe in him, you were genuine with him and he knew that you meant everything you told him that. 

That day the weeping monk decided that he’ll do everything in his power to make you happy even if he would need to stay away. 

I believe he’ll still follow his moral and would still respect most of the rule he learnt from the church. But the moment he realized that you were his everything and that you might feel the same, well let’s say he forgot couple of rules (especially the one who prohibited marriage) 

He is into marriage fight me on this 

Being in relationship with him implies helping him when he feels down especially when is questioning is whole being as a person. Cause he is truly fucked up, he believes he doesn’t deserve to live, the church was supposed to be the only way to save him from damnation. Now all he can do is to rely on you. 

He will need a tone of times 

He also needs attention, but be careful cause the man got reputation and is pretty awkward with all those things since I believe no one was very careful and kind with him. 

He is touch-starved meaning he would crave for attention, but he isn’t comfortable enough so there things he will tolerate in private while some things would be okay in public. 

For example he doesn’t mind holding you hand (he loves it your hand is so small and feel so sweet against his calloused one) even in public especially if notices someone starring at you 

He likes hug but don’t do frequently though. He was raised to become a monk, I believe he never received any mark of affection or barely so he is still a bit tense about you being physical with him. 

He is a monk but he is still a man and well he got urges and he can’t focus on stopping those kind of thought when you’re holding him tightly, pressing your chest against him. But there is time when he just can’t help but needing to have you against him. 

Same thing for kiss, it’s so intimate, so intoxicating it’s like you were the one in charge of his own body and mind. He is overwhelmed by way too many feelings at once, so kiss are only tolerated when you two are alone. 

At this point, you’ll understand that this man is a virgin baby 

And if we’re talking about sex well, he is a monk. Safe to say you would be his first and probably he is last. It will take a long time before he would even consider being intimate with you, it was one thing to betray the church but breaking his vows was quite another. 

Kissing you or hugging you doesn’t make him feel bad in the meaning it wasn’t for him as if he was breaking one of his vows. I’m not saying that he is asexual but I’m sure he can live without having sex with someone (even if sometimes he feels the need to have you right here and then, he can control it he does it all the time). 

If he feels like he could dedicate his whole life to you, well you feel it when you two would be intimate. 

Let’s say he counterbalances his lack of experience by skills and a tone of worship, I can’t explain how he could do that, but the man is a worshiper (no punt intended). 

He kisses and caresses a lot 

When you two are linked, he expects you to be on the top in every way (especially because he is aware of his lack of experience and also because he turned him on to see you being in charge, more than he would like to admit) 

During your first time he didn’t last as long as he expects to last, especially because he was overwhelmed by all the feelings and the love he could feel through you. 

He tends to last longer after that 

I didn’t underline it enough, but I think the man is pretty sensitive in all way. He may look like a cold soldier but he is doing a good job at internalize his feelings. Which could be a huge obstacle for a relationship cause he tends to not talk about his feeling hence the difficulty for you sometimes cause you don’t know what to do to make him feel comfortable enough to talk to you. 

Don’t worry just give him time, remind him that you’re here to help him, that he is not alone. Let him go to you when he feels like it. 

It will take time but it’ll be worth it : he is very carrying, he would love you in a way you would never expect someone to love you like this. He would be your friends, your lover, your protector. 

Yeah because he is overprotecting don’t ever try to protest that’s a battle you won’t win : you’re too precious.